#its a balancing act. im normal
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normally, especially when it comes to classics, i find that people either wanna engage with the intended themes of the work or they wanna draw gay people real and ignore the point. thank u so much for being the world's bravest soldier and doing both at the same time.
(this is completely 100% genuine and also in this specific case about dr strangelove)
THANK YOUUU SOOOOOO MUCHHHHHH mfw i like analyzing themes and understand media but i also like fictional characters gay kissing so im stuck with all you losers
#its a balancing act. im normal#tbh i love the themes of strangelove#a real period piece abt how dumb the cold war was#while also confronting toxic masculinity and how proving ones masculinity can lead to doing dumb damaging shit#but also MANDRAKE WAS A FAGGOTTTTTTTTTTTTT#GENERAL RIPPER SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT THE CLUBBB#MERKIN MUFFLEY IS FTM BECAUSE HIS NAME IS MERKIN MUFFLEY#and also the whole vibe of the movie UGH. AHHH#symb replies#also i somewhat know how to draw old people. i hate when people give bald characters hair. stop theat
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i don't understand why people act like teenage girls calling themselves misandrists is such a huge deal. yes jason!!! 13 year old layla fucking hates men because boys at school are making fun of her & she's always hearing about men domestically abusing women on the news. shocker!!!
#obviously teenage girls on tiktok aren't gonna be politically correct or have a completely nuanced balanced take??#can you blame us??#im not gonna go down the “ im a minor 🥺🥺 its an excuse to be wrong and annoying ” bullshit#but forreal if you've been hearing about how awful men are & experiencing awful men your whole life you're not gonna like them#idk why this is so weird to people. maybe if men acted fucking normal towards women the “ good men ” wouldn't be so effected by#“ misandry ” !! also is it even a real issue?? I mean its a social media thing between mainly young adults & teenage girls.#lol its not “ oppression !!”#oppression is the fact that in some countries its the norm for little girls to be married to grown ass men. lol#this is a rant based off of a conversation I had with my brother#I will clam down soon lol#and i do not believe all men are bad but i do not trust any men unless i really know them and will continue to giggle at misandrists memes#they are fucking funny fuck off#this is a girlblog
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having arfid is like if someone diagnosed you with "hates poop disorder" then told you that you either have to start eating bowls of horse diarrhea with human nail clippings in it or you die. that would fucking suck now wouldn't it
#personal#arfid#avoidant restrictive food intake disorder#i have found the ''you live in a world in which all food is literal shit and ppl keep tryin to convince you its actually really good#and acting like youre the unreasonable one for hating it'' metaphor to be quite effective in explaining how my life feels to other ppl#its so annoying when ppl act like im stupid for not jumping at the bit to torture myself for some vague dream#of recovery or whatever#i have ways to cope! i have foods i can eat and other things i can do to keep myself alive!! there is no point torturing myself#trying to be more 'normal' 😒#idc how much u condescendingly tell me how a balanced diet is good for me#i dont want to eat the horse diarrhea. i dont care what vitamins it will give me. i am surviving without it#i do not see any benefit to torturing myself for years just to gain slight resistance to it#let me beeee
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how to look normal on an escalator
escalator tips
will the escalator kill me
escalator going up and down how
escalator how to use
whiteknuckling escalator normal?
escalator cheat code
#i hate escalators sssss#esp going up . no idea why but my brain is like ah! were falling down now#were not standing normally . were dying .#im like a dog that doesnt know how to act when it has to walk on sth weird#my balance turns offfffff its gone .
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what's an appropriate way to say thank you to a coworker who brought you a sample of the cologne your blorbo is [most probably] using????????????
it's a super interesting scent btw!!! from the bottle it's very lemony, a lot of cypress, pine(?), and off the bat it almost smelled a bit like honey on my skin?? there is a lot going on in it, and at first it seemed sweet, but once it calms down, most of this early sweetness is gone (there is still a tiny bit that lingers though, which is really nice), and the bitter, fresh parts with the sea vibes take over. it's very elegant, clean, yet unique. there is a vibrant streak to it, but it smells old school, like a classic. after about an hour it got deeper on me, and more spice appeared, which was very lovely. it also has a very prominent layer of that usual masculine scent most male fragrances have, while still being airy, so it's not that in your face feeling, but the one that really draws you in instead. overall the mediterranean description is spot on. a massive W in my eyes
#deranged!#but to be fair to me!#he is a fragrance nerd and im into this stuff too#and we were discussing some very important matters at work - as you do#and i was like yeah for me there is this one tom ford i want to smell#and he was like oh actually i do have a sample of that... i could bring it to you :)))))#and i said sure thank you ☺️#and then he asked me why so i had to act like a normal person??? like. uhhhh i was just uhhhh talking about it with someone uhhhhh#r#(obviously fragrances smell different on everyone but yeah! this is super nice)#(on my skin after i sprayed it it was incredibly sweet for a sec#but once it dries thats gone)#(what happens after that also depends on the person like most things on me tend to become spicy)#(have to say tho - its a true summer scent and it doesnt last particularly long)#(but i love that it handles the lemon cypress duo so nicely#and the sea vibe as well#because im always wary of these things smelling like air fresheners 💀)#(but there is enough stuff in this to balance that out and give it a richer deeper scent. its hot ill say it.)#(i also have to be careful because my own perfume is very strong and i keep smelling that on myself lmao)
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wah
#venting in the tags like its 2014 again. i feel like im back there so why not#sick n tired of being in the middle of other peoples issues#i want to have stable housing that lasts more than 3 months#i just want to live in a house with people that are normal abt communicating#my roommates are making me so uncomfortable and anxious in the house I ALSO PAY FOR#i want to live with my partner more than anything and i want to see my friends again like i did in college but#im tired of balancing this shit with my job thats sucking all my energy away from me#money is gonna get tighter bc one of my roommates is leaving bc of aforementioned communication issues#i would move out too but my partner is still in dorm housing until next may and he doesnt deserve to deal with that on top of senior thesis#and it takes more money than i have rn and will have for the foreseeable future#im so tired of this. my mental energy is reaching high school levels of drained i never wanted to reach this point again in my life#and again. i would like to have longer term housing than just three fucking months#ever since my parents moved into a new house 4 years ago I havent felt like ive had a home and this certainly doesnt help#do i just. have an aura around me that influences people to act weird#i miss everyone#i havent been able to draw/paint anything to completion in weeks.#the only things i can do anymore are work shower or laundry.
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reading the desolations of devils acre and idk man im not tly feeling it
#i think the whole prophecy thing has thrown me off its just so like. idk its kinda generic. like wow there r 7 who will help seal caulagain#also i like noor i think shes rly cool but it still feels like shes barely.. been here#the wiki lists her as a deutoragonist but like. idk. it rly doesnt feel like that#this is not me saying i dknt like her its like. the opposite. i think shes rly cool so its disappointing that she isnt rly fleshed out at#all... and it just Irks me how it went from being abt. jacob and his friends and his girlfriend emma (even tho he focused on her a lot it#felt balanced) to like. the jacob and noor show. while still somehow having noor feel very flat??#like. theyve made the entire story revolve around her and how jacob loves her and somehow shes still like. not well thought out.#it feels like maybe he was like hmm maybe jacob and emma shouldnt be together. and then judt rushed jacob inro another relationship#literally like a week after they broke up and he barely knew her he is just like. acting like hes known her for forever. IDK#I SOUND LIKE A HATER ONCE AGAIN IM NOTTT I LIKE NOOR IDM JACOB DATING NOOR IDM JACOB NOT DATING EMMA ITS JUDT LIKE.#it feels rushed. and i like noor so i wished there was more time with her#And i think the prophecy plot is so incredibly lame. ik everybody and their mother has a prophecy plot in their ya book but its -_-#it just feels like there were a lot of interesting ideas like the peculiar clans in america and a secret clan of normals still hunting#peculiars and Literally all of that was thrown out the window and actually the elite clan of normals was just wights and the clan conflict#ended in like. 1 page. and theres been no mention of it since lol.#IDK. idk. I LIKE NOOR I DO! IDM HER BEING SUPER POWERFUL!!! I JUST WISH IT LIKE. i wish every other interesting character or plotpoint#in the series wasnt trampled to be like And noor is the specialest girl on earth and shes one of the 7 who can seal caul away again#blahblahblah. IDK.
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I saw that your requests were open and rushed over here as quick as I could!
I would LOVE to see more D-16 and Orion Pax, maybe a poly relationship of how they would act as a dynamic. Reader would be whatever you'd like for them to be and a miner as well, maybe they are the balance for the two to keep them in check? Can be fluff or angst, I'm not picky!
Im so excited to see what you do! Keep up the amazing work!
Pairing: D-16 x Orion Pax x mech!Reader Rating: SFW-ish Summary: When a balanced duo meets a like-minded bot like them, how will this shake the dynamic between the newly formed trio? Warnings/Tags: Pre-canon, does this count as spoilers?, angst, fluff, romantic gesture(s), oil baths, secret relationship(s), Elita-1 cameo, Orion gives you a nickname, reader is an archivist (lmao WAS an archivist). Word Count: 1600+ words
How did you three meet?
It was a normal day sorting through the records and making sure everything was in its proper place. You adjusted your spectacles before moving the box from your hip into two servos. The corridor you were walking in was long, empty, and cold. Not a single spark in sight and you preferred it that way.
As you pressed a button, the doors to a room slid open and you carried the box inside. Whistling a small tune, you placed the box on a table and paused when something clicked.
Looking over your shoulder, you found two pairs of optics staring at you. One as blue as the sky, the other as bright as the sun.
"....hey?"
"AAAAAAHHHHHH-MFPH!"
First Impressions:
D-16
🟡 Thought you were rather skittish and weird, especially after you almost got them both in trouble had it not been for Orion shushing you with his servo.
🟡 Thankfully, you were rather understanding, a bit naive, but understanding of their innocent intentions.
Orion Pax
🔵 You seemed like a nice mech.
🔵 A really nice mech when you didn't rat him and his buddy out to the guards when they approached the room to investigate the scream from earlier.
🔵 Your derpy spectacles and timid mannerism (he caught onto your nervous tics) made him believe you were one of those uptight bookworms. Not the bad kind or snobbish, but not a social type of bot.
🔵 He was proved wrong twice when you had the opportunity to turn them in, but choose not to after hearing the purpose of their 'visit.'
Shared interests:
Oh boy, who knew you were a fan of Megatronus? Orion had a 'pleasant' time hearing D-16 and their new acquaintance ramble on about how cool and awesome the Prime was.
When the conversation (more like fangirling) about Megatronus turned on Orion, the aforementioned mech spoke about the matrix and his goal in helping seek the location of it.
Cue flapping servos and a squeal that was shushed by D-16's servo over your intake.
Not only were you interested in learning about the Primes, mainly Megatronus, but you also were interested in finding the lost lore of the Matrix and any information you could get your servos on.
A friendship blossomed on that day and the three of you agreed to meet up at a bar or park whenever all of you had the time to do so.
Overall dynamic a friends:
You fit in pretty well with the duo.
Your eagerness to learn more despite the consequences and sometimes good judgment was a nice balance to D-16 sticking to protocol and Orion Pax's exasperating ideas.
Although your time spent with the two wasn't a lot compared to them working together in the mines, it didn't stop the bond from strengthening between you three.
You were D-16's backup whenever Orion had a ridiculous plan that could lead him getting demoted severely.
You were Orion's hype mech and source of information whenever the two of you felt like you had a lead in your goals.
You tend to call the red and blue mech Pax, even after being assured that you can call him Orion. After a while, Orion didn't mind the way you said his name, it felt…nice, like a 'special' thing between himself and you.
Overall, I'd say the three of you were great friends.
Until….
You picked up your pace and rubbed the glass of your spectacles from the smudge that happened to get on it. It was your off day and you wanted to spend as much of it with your friends as possible, especially when you had exciting news to share with them.
You nearly bumped into a few bots, apologizing to them anyway, as you maneuvered around the busy streets of Iacon. It did not take long for you to arrive at the mines. You skidded to a halt when you spotted a pink femme chatting with a few other bots.
You approached and before you could raise a digit to gain her attention she had long since spotted you.
Elita-1 rolled an optic and jabbed a digit in one direction, then you were off--scurrying towards the showers to find your friends.
"D? Pax?" You called as you stepped into the communal showers. The showers, which you've seen in some blueprints, were a shared space with only one or two baths built in.
Mutterings echoed off the tiled area that appeared vacant. If it wasn't for the sound of oil, you would've assumed so. You rose a ridge before continuing to walk deeper into the area, only to stop when the murmurs grew clearer.
"...Orion, we're going to be late…"
"C'mon, a little fun isn't going to make us late."
When you heard your designation spill from D-16's intake and more reassurance from Orion, you quickened your pace and rounded the corner to find a…well…sight to behold.
Orion was partially submerged in the bath with D-16 straddling him. Their gazes were filled with a passion you never saw whenever the three of you were hanging out. For some reason, a pang seized your spark and you took a step back but bumped into the wall.
The noise caused Orion and D to separate.
"___?!"
Energon shot to your faceplate added with the heat of the bath fogging up your spectacles caused you to stutter out a 'quick' sorry while attempting to escape. Oil splashed around as D-16 moved to the other end of the bath to cover his flushed face and Orion ran out of the bath to catch up…or rather, catch you.
Running in a slippery area was not a good idea.
You crashed onto the floor and shrieked when your ankles were snatched and you were pulled back toward the bath. Clawing at the floor, your futile attempts at breaking free caused Orion to drop your ankles and walk around to your front to grab both sides of your helm. D-16 watched as he leaned against the edge of the bath.
"____."
"Yes?" You squawked.
Orion smashed his dermas against yours. You felt weak and nearly melted into the kiss had it not been for the 'd'aww' coming from your other friend. You found the strength to withdraw from Orion and scoot back until you were a reasonable distance from both.
"What..why…huh??" You pointed to the two of them, you and Orion, and then to your dermas.
"We've…been meaning to tell you," D-16 started.
"Just hadn't found the right moment, but now that you know…we can finally tell you how much we like you!"
"...classy."
"Whaaat? ___ deserves to know about us and how we feel about them! All these secrets just felt..wrong, anyway-" Orion turned to look at you with a wide smile. "Whaddya say, starlight? You in?"
"Call a medic cause I'm about to have a spark attack."
Cue them panicking along with you.
And that's how you managed to become more than friends with your…well, friends.
First date?
A bar :)
Twas a fun time walking the two of them back to your home when they were drunk off of their processors
In the morning, you all comforted each other with the hangover pains
First kiss?
Orion already stole your first official kiss.
You and D's first kiss happened on the second date when you managed to 'borrow' some merch of his favorite Prime at a invite-only Iacon event. D legit swept you off your peds and kissed you hard enough you felt like you were seeing stars.
Demotion…
Yeah…courting a mech who's becoming notorious for sneaking into archives to look at restricted and sensitive data did not go over well with your higher ups.
You were demoted to a lower title that stripped you off your access to most records.
To say you were devastated was an understatement.
You couldn't even look at Orion in the optics for a while.
Arguments
This incident definitely caused a few disagreements in your relationship
First, D stopping Orion from visiting you too much so that you could have the space you needed
You felt like scrap for the boiling resentment you were feeling toward yourself, the relationship, and with Orion.
It all boiled over when Orion disregarded D's warning to stay away and managed to catch you during your working shift.
And…it didn't end nicely.
Names were called, not-so-good things were brought up, and you even called Orion a fragging screw up.
Making up
After the big fight and 'cold war' that was going on between you three, mainly you and D-16 vs Orion. Things…settled down when all of you sat down to talk about it for once.
Starting the conversation wasn't the easy part, discussion and apologizing was, especially when you and Orion were 'fighting' over how sorry you two were. D-16 had to shut the two of you up by holding you two idiots close in a hug.
Lots of servo-holding and cuddles happened that day :3
Overall dynamic as a polycule:
Healthy when communication isn't disrupted.
It's easy to play mediator if something does arise between two of you, but when all three of you are angry at each other? Eh, let's say there is a rule in the relationship to never bottle up your emotions for too long and communicate if you're upset about anything.
Jealousy….ohhhh, it doesn't happen often, but when someone gets a little too close Orion and D are on you like a starved bot on a pile of energon cubes.
Your relationship is discrete, only a few bots (including your higher ups) know of the true nature of your relationship with D-16 and Orion Pax.
Overall, it's a beautiful relationship....hopefully nothing bad will happen in the future wink wink.
😼 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. banner(s) by @dollywons !!
#spectacles are glasses if that wasn't clear#transformers one spoilers#pre canon#megaop#orion pax x reader#d 16 x reader#polyamory#slight angst#fluff#headcanons#dating headcanons#x reader#listening to 'when he sees me' while writing this lol#quixotical answers#thanks for requesting
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HEYA GUESS WHOS BACK~
THE FIC U WROTE W THE POCKY PROMPT WAS SO GOOD LIKE ONG?? SOO NOW IM BACK FOR MORE >:)
IM THINKING.. CHRISTMAS THEMED DATES!! COZ ITS THE XMAS SEASON WOULD THEY HAVE ANY CUTE DATES U NORMALLY CANT HAVE IN THE SUMMER? (EXAMPLE; ICE SKATING) (also I’d prefer if u wrote for Dazai and Ranpo again i cannot get enough of those idiots 🙏🙏🙏) THX IN ADVANCE~ -Annon who still hasn’t found their glasses… seriously where are they😭😭
Omg hi again!! I'll have you know I've been listening to Christmas songs on repeat as I wrote this. My brain is fried and so ready for the Holidays. I blame u for this.
And please don't go around blind like that, I pray for you and your glasses, nonnie
BSD Cast ft. Christmas Dates
(Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Sigma, Chuuya, Atsushi)
Dazai - Drunk Decorating
“Whaat? Gimme the unicorn here, I have a feeling about this.”
And you’d watch in horror, giggles bubbling out of your lips as the dumbass would duck-tape the poor plush to your Christmas tree, eyes sparkling with child’s delight. The alcohol swirling about in both your veins would’ve started manifesting at some point during the evening, all according to Dazai’s precise calculations. Totally.
If there was one thing Dazai was good at, it was being unconventional. Decorating for Christmas while being drunk off your asses was not on your to-do list, but boy does it leave an impactful memory. Nobody remembers whose idea it was. Most of the night consisted of snippets of hyper-intense clarity… followed by what the actual fuck random scraps of memory.
Did we really snatch the Agency’s decorations from reception? Of course not, duh. Why is Ranpo’s overcoat hanging from our Christmas tree? How mysterious. You’d be giggling uncontrollably at everything as the night progressed.
You’ve never struggled so hard for your life as when you had to outrun Dazai’s lanky frame, his sticky fingers at the ready to steal whatever shiny ornament you fought tooth and nail to secure. All efforts would end up futile though. Especially when you’d find yourself barely keeping your balance atop Dazai’s shoulders with no clue as to how he managed that.
With tape in one hand and his encouraging instructions as your guide…
Your ceiling had never looked this sparkly and hideous.
Get prepared for an intense hangover and even clingier Dazai the next morning. He will not, under any circumstances, let you leave him alone for the whole day. Suffering together is an act of love, after all.
Ranpo - Snowball Fight
The moment the first snow hit, it would be like a switch had turned on in Ranpo’s behaviour. He’d be used to your antics by now so being extra aware of his surroundings–just in case–was a mandatory tactic for survival on his part. Especially the more it snowed…
You knew how much Ranpo loved being coddled and cuddled all the time, so it came as no surprise his complete despise of cold weather, the sensation of freezing in wet clothes making him shudder in distaste.
He always had a grumpy face on, cheeks flushed and lips pouting as you waddled through the snow every time you had to leave home.
He was adorable… and completely at your mercy.
You both knew what was to come. The first snowball would barely scrape his hat, Ranpo’s body spinning around quickly to face you, eyes betrayed.
“Aw, come on! I knew it.”
He’d whine a lot, making you giggle even more as you prepared for the upcoming battle.
Ranpo’s not a very agile person, but his observation skills combined with years of practice being with you made him nearly impossible to hit, dodging like his actual life depended on it. There was no mercy for you either, taking every hit with pride as you chased each other down the snowed path.
It would go on until you were both freezing, you grinning like a lunatic and Ranpo’s face of defeat bordering on exasperation. He’d absolutely not like you tackling him down on the snow either, hair soaking and nose as red as it could get. Shame he looked so cute like that; it’s not like you could help it.
Get prepared for extra snuggles as you get back home. That and Ranpo’s cold feet being shoved against your calves the moment he had you locked in an unassuming hug.
Sweet, sweet revenge, here it comes.
Fyodor - Ice Skating
Fyodor’s not a very social person if he could help it. Spending quality time in a quiet, peaceful place was more down his alley than being jammed up beside people, most of whom were probably barely able to stay on their skates to begin with. An unpleasant hassle, in his opinion.
It would take some convincing and a good dose of bribing before you had him sighing in defeat, your hands interlocked as you towed him along to the skating rink.
Of course the bastard knew how to skate. Of course.
Very careful around you, and absolutely refusing to hold onto your hand until you got the hang of how to balance properly. Ungodly amount of patience, even if you caught a whiff of annoyance from him here and there– it was mostly directed towards people veering too close for your comfort, making you clutch harder to the railings, your progress forgotten every time.
A surprisingly encouraging teacher, with praise where praise was due. Yet strict enough for it to feel more like a coaching session than an actual date. That is, until you figured out how to glide your skates without support, smile wide and exited as it matched Fyodor’s content nod of approval.
Hands interlocked as he pulled you along, the fun of it engulfed you more as your worry slowly dissipated. Dragging Fyodor to the centre of the ring on wobbly legs was harder than expected, but the sappy kiss you managed to pry out of him was all worth it.
There was something about silly little romantic moments like those that melted your heart on the spot. And having Fyodor pull you flush against him, hands cupping your cheeks as he rubbed some warmth into them–yeah, you could only look at his lovely violet eyes, your gaze filling with affection.
Sigma - Christmas Shopping
You know how a cat looks when it gets excited to see its human get back? No? It’s the exact same thing with Sigma.
He’d be all swirling emotions and anticipation on the inside, yet barely any signs of it slipping through his demeanor of collected calmness. You might even mistake it for indifference for all the Christmas shopping you have to do. Maybe even a chore that needs to be done than a fun activity for you two.
You’d be so wrong.
Christmas is a family holiday; the time of year you spend with your loved ones. At home. He’ll be home, with you. And he has to choose whether orange or red garlands would go best with your kitchen curtains. Sigma’s this close to losing it and having a full breakdown from how happy he actually is that Sigma.exe has stopped working properly.
Constant battle between being happy with whatever you choose to buy, and the internal desire for everything to be perfect. He has to give you the best Christmas you’ve ever had. Would absolutely go crazy on the shopping lists. You mentioned something offhand that you liked? There’s three of it waiting for you the next day. Can’t choose on a tree? Why, you can have one in the living room, and one for your bedroom too. He’ll take care of it, don’t you worry about anything.
Sweats the whole time as he tries to take care of it all.
Absolutely needs reminders that you’re in this together, and no, you being there with me is enough, Sigma. I don’t care for anything else. Refuses to let go of your hand anywhere you go, basking in the warm feeling of being loved to the fullest.
Chuuya - Cabin Getaway
Absolutely his idea.
As absurdly far away from the city as you could get, deep in the mountains with the most beautiful view that steals your breath away. You’re afraid to ask how much it cost. Better not.
Warm blankets with and a fireplace to snuggle by, any ambitions for trying your skills at setting up dinner were soon forgotten. Not when Chuuya’s chest was firm against your back, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your shoulders. You were practically melting into him, losing yourself in his warm breath beside your cheek, the deep, low tone he talked with as you enjoyed each other’s company. He was so full of passion usually, the emotions spilling out of him in a constant stream of need for action.
Not now. Now Chuuya was… here. All soft smiles and light laughter as he poured more wine into your glasses as the night progressed. Talking about life and its meaning, enjoying the moments to the fullest. Having his arm thrown around you as he kept you close was a bliss you never wished to end.
The night was long and filled with a sense of being right where you were meant to be. And when you rose up, pulling Chuuya by the hand as hooded eyes met yours, his grin widening–you found yourself kissing him then. And you didn’t stop until you were both stumbling back to the bedroom, your clothes leaving a trail behind you.
He was all yours for the taking, warm and willing for your every whim. Such a lovely place he found, it’d be a shame not to have a bit of fun… everywhere.
Finding your clothes in the morning was definitely a hassle, one both of you couldn’t stop laughing about even as Chuuya’s hat definitely wasn’t supposed to be hanging from the chandelier.
Atsushi - Sledge Date
It was an idea you’ve both had for a while. Neither one of you knew how to navigate a thing like that, but hey–it was happening.
Atsushi swears he did not steal a sledge. He only asked Dazai if he had one by chance, and he was so kind to offer it half an hour later, all wide grins and wiggling eyebrows. You’ve never seen Dazai own a thing like that, let alone have it at such a quick disposal. Maybe it was best not to ponder too much over it.
The moment you saw the hill you were meant to glide gracefully down from, you stomach did a double flip. Yeah, you were both going to die, this was not the cute little slide rides you had imagined.
It took Atsushi some encouraging words and a promise to not let go of you no matter what, and you were gingerly sitting behind him, hands gripping firmly around his torse as you glued your stiff body to his back. His hand rested atop your own, warm and soothing as he rubbed your knuckles.
Atsushi was surprisingly calm about this. Maybe he felt your need for a secure presence beside you or he just naturally took on the role. It didn’t matter, really. Not when he didn’t shut up the entire time, whether it be panicked rambling as you slid down or his general chatter.
Atsushi kept throwing glances behind him, checking in on you each time you went down. And he held your hand firmly as you groaned from having to climb back up every time. His attentiveness was cute, even more so every time he asked you how you felt. Knowing you had someone who didn’t get annoyed at your complaints or belittled your worries felt… nice. Yeah, really nice.
You couldn’t wait to shower him in kisses once you got back home.
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanfic#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bsd smut#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor dostoyevski bsd#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor x reader#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor x y/n#fyodor x you#dazai osamu#osamu x y/n#osamu x reader#osamu x you#dazai x y/n#dazai x reader#dazai x you#bsd dazai#chuuya bsd#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya x you
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Why the Alpha Timeline is the Alpha Timeline
I figured I'd make a post, since it's pretty subtle and I think it genuinely passed a lot of people by? Homestuck is made up of a lot of words, haha.
The alpha timeline is described by Doc Scratch, functionally, as "the timeline that causes LE to exist."
The path which alone has my absolute mastery is the alpha timeline, a continuum I define as that which boasts exclusive rights both to my birth and to my death, two circumstantially simultaneous events.
Aranea also gives the explanation that the alpha timeline is the one where reality is perpetuated.
AG: Reality itself is using you and many others to propagate its own existence. Strictly speaking, there is only one path to its successful propagation. 8ut it still permits you to make choices.
Caliborn also states that his quest as a Lord of Time is coming to terms with the inevitability that everything, ever, in all of time, will be because of him - that he'll be the one to shape it, including the circumstances of his own defeat.
uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS. uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE. uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL. uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY. uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY. uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING. uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER. uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR. uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS. uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE. uu: RETROACTIVELY.
Aradia's stint as stewardess of the afterlife is explicitly described as "service to the lord of double death," and Dave explains that he acts instinctively - like Caliborn does - to fulfill the conditions of the alpha timeline. It's also worth noting that their classes, Maid and Knight, are roles that directly serve a Lord in the real world.
TEREZI: LUCK1LY YOU M4K3 4N 4DOR4BL3 H4NDM41D TO TH3 M4ST3R OF D34TH, 3SP3C14LLY 1N YOUR CUT3 CH3RRY P1X13 3NS3MBL3 ARADIA: you think so?
GG: well youre from the future right? GG: dont you know already if itll work? TG: yeah more or less TG: i never really studied how it went down all that closely TG: i just figured when the time came to sort it out the right thing to do would be obvious TG: like it is now TG: managing the loops is a balance of careful planning and just rolling with your in the moment decisions TG: and trusting they were the ones you were always supposed to make TG: by now im pretty used to having my intuition woven into the fabric of the alpha timeline
I'm starting with all that so I can explain that the GAME OVER timeline doesn't end when the time players disappear from it, like doomed timeline offshoots normally do, because it IS the alpha timeline: the sequence of events that causes GAME OVER to occur is the sequence of events that Caliborn/Lord English have chosen: one where (nearly) everyone dies, all hope of victory is lost, and his servant, the Condesce, gets to claim the Ultimate Reward, perpetuating the same misery and oppression in the new universe, and presumably all universes to come.
We see from Caliborn's chess match with Calliope that his (and by extension, LE)'s modus operandi is to follow the rules to the letter, while manipulating his opponent, tricking them with "shitty twists". It's always been explained that LE's actions have been "sanctioned by paradox space," that is, everything he's doing is explicitly allowed, nothing he's doing is against the rules - including the fact that he must be defeated. He has, via his mastery of time, perfectly engineered a situation where the only viable reality is the one where yes, he IS defeated... in the dream bubbles, by the dead and doomed, whom he sent to the dream bubbles in the first place via Condy, Jack English, and all the other boss fights. And his will, his ideals, are imposed on the new universe in spite of his defeat.
In a completely Watsonian read of the text, Lord English is an incredible villain because - subtly and unsublty - he IS basically responsible for every bad thing that ever happens, ever, to everyone. He has legitimately been the puppetmaster pulling the strings the entire time, pretty much all because Caliborn is a huge asshole who loves to hurt other people, and wants to do it as much as he can, to as many people as he can, for as long as he can.
But I think he's especially interesting through a Doylist perspective, through a reading of the text as a coming of age. Homestuck is a worth riddled with theme and symbolism, and thematically, Lord English represents everything that these kids need to overcome in order to mature into kind, empathetic adults who will be one day responsible for the care and oversight of a new universe. He represents selfishness, sadism, greed, destruction, oppression, fascism, murder, genocide, and hatred. And also literally the patriarchy.
And, you know what? Don't take my word for it. Here's Andrew Hussie's commentary from Book 6 Act 5 Act 2 Part 2:
Much of the logic [for who contributes to Lord English] orbits around these negative traits associated with men, or more specifically, the “toxically masculine” aspects often linked to certain male personalities. Dirk has a lot of these traits, which are central to Dave’s feelings of tension and abuse concerning his bro. The intellectual aggression, the power of assertion, the knowitall-ism, the mansplaining. That’s a lot of Dirk stuff when he’s at his worst. Equius shares a lot of those traits too, with some different points of emphasis. Both of them have this creepy-guy streak running through them, with strange or offputting interests, and seem to get a quiet kick out of making others uncomfortable through demonstrations of these fascinations. They are actually pretty similar characters in this way.
He's invited into the trolls' universe (and, by extension, the kids' universe) via the Dancestors, in an original sin kind of way. I'll let Hussie explain on their Formspring (emphasis mine):
We learn more about the troll race, as a once peaceful species and such before kid-ancestors as players scratched their session, though the short term relevance of this is mainly as a preamble to Scratch's religious story. Establishing an Eden-like paradise from which there is some departure through sin is sort of the boilerplate basis for religious lore. ... The failed players from peaceful Alternia made a classic "deal with the devil" move by causing the scratch after being given a choice by the mother of all monsters. (Echidna. Hey, she's a big snake!) By doing so they brought Scratch into their universe, and therefore all the things you'd expect that comes with summoning the devil.
The Dancestor's "departure through sin"? It was the fact that they couldn't get their shit together and grew up inside the Medium. That's why they're the age they are, 9 sweeps - adulthood by troll standards. They aren't kids anymore because that's the ultimate sign of having failed to do a coming of age. Symbolically, the Dancestors represent a prior generation of grown-ups that fucked everything up, leaving a huge mess for their descendents to clean up after. In fact, Doc Scratch even describes the alternate choice Echidna gave them:
The heroes could either accept their defeat along with the extinction of their race, and put no others at risk.
In other words, they could have stopped LE if they'd simply chosen not to Scratch. But once more, in line with their behavior up until that point, they chose the selfish option, and bore descendants into the world they ruined. They're immature, nasty, mean-spirited, cruel, callous, and shallow on purpose, because their role in the story is antagonistic. They're aligned (even if unwittingly) with Lord English, as they're the ones who directly invited him in via their failure to grow the fuck up.
There's also a reason why SBURB/SGRUB directly tie achieving godhood and reaching the Ultimate Reward to planetary quests fundamentally designed to help children mature. God-tiering is supposed to come at the end of one's quest, as achieving it directly teleports you to the Battlefield for the final boss.
AG: I really think how successfully they mature is tied to success in the game. It challenges the players in all the ways they need to 8e challenged to grow, which is different for every individual, and veeeeeeeery different for every race. AG: I don't think we were so hot at that aspect of the game. In fact, I'm sure we were quite awful. Hell, even I wasn't that gr8 at it! I actually just kinda fell ass 8ackwards into the god tier, to 8e honest.
And there's a perfectly functional Watsonian explanation for this - in order to increase the odds that the new universe will successfully propagate new universes, it's ideal to leave it in the hands of kind, mature people. But the Doylist explanation is, again, even more interesting.
Hussie has spoken extensively about the comic having always been about two things at its core: first, a creation myth... and second, a coming-of-age. These are complimentary themes, as Homestuck also makes statements about society and its effects on kids. In the real world, the kids of today become the voters, revolutionaries, and lawmakers of tomorrow. In Homestuck, they create, and are responsible for, a new universe.
I always saw HS as an exploration of young people developing relationships over the internet […] There’s a lot more to HS than just that obviously, but if there’s anything which it’s been about through and through, it’s modern kids relating to each other from afar, developing as people and growing up.
In fact, all the initial kids' entry artifacts are metaphors for "departures, loss of innocence, and sometimes the journey from childhood to adulthood outright." John biting an apple, symbolizing the act that cast Adam and Even from Eden. Rose breaking a bottle, the act of christening a boat, and an item integral to the main means by which she relates to her mother, alcohol - an adult substance. Dave hatching an egg, literally the act of bringing new life into the world. Jade shooting an effigy of her dog, both symbolic of Old Yeller, and of breaking a pinata, an act often done at quinceneras.
There comes a point in childhood where the child stops being a child - the safe, familiar, comfortable world that they knew stops existing, and they can never get it back. They are thrust into a world that is alien and massive, and forced to grapple with the weight of their future duties. They deal with losing their guardians and finding direction in their absence. They must decide how they want to grow up, and then are responsible for shaping the society that comes after them. In other words, SBURB/SGRUB in this metaphor represent adolescence.
Within that context, God-tiering is actually interesting because it symbolizes adulthood - a semi-permanent state that a child is supposed to reach at the end of their SBURB/SGRUB journey. And, in fact, it's treated that way - none of the characters reach god-tiering the "proper" way... and of our god-tiered characters, nearly all of them have some sort of emotional struggle with growing up too fast. Vriska with the expectations of her shitty society, Rose with her emulation of her mother, Dave with his abusive brother, and the Alpha kids with substance abuse (the jujus) and romantic drama.
Anyway, sometimes when Mario's running sideways he gets a star that makes him magic and invincible. OH. YOU MEAN HE BECOMES TRICKSTER MARIO. Yes, but less stupid. So for a while he becomes flashy and hyperactive and nothing's challenging anymore. He just starts barreling over mushrooms and leaping over pits as fast as he can, then gets to the end and jumps on the flagpole and that's it. Mario "wins". But the point is, he didn't really win. That magic star was actually devastating to his development as a human being. WHY. Because he skipped over many critical trials on his spiritual journey. Mario NEEDS to stomp on all those mushrooms. He NEEDS to bonk those bricks with his head, for the sake of his personal growth. By using the star, he is denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.
Like... I dunno... seems pretty blatant to me!
So with Homestuck so firmly being a coming of age, and with the Dancestors - whose primary failure is that of unrelenting immaturity - being cast in an antagonistic role, doesn't that make Caliborn's position of ultimate final boss extremely fitting when we take this conversation into account?
You may be destined for bigger things, but you’re still an atrocious, stupid child. And you may have won the “game” with your sister, but that doesn’t mean it was the best thing for your development as a person. You had her dream self killed, which is not an opportunity your species typically gets. So she died prematurely, instead of allowing the conflict within you to settle itself naturally. In short, you forced your predomination to happen a little too early, and now you’re stuck. STUCK? Yes. Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.
He's literally a child who chose to stunt his own growth so that he could reap all the game's rewards for himself. Someone who so stubbornly desired the selfish, greedy, and immature option that he was willing to hurt himself to achieve it. Caliborn - and by extension, Lord English - is a direct symbol for the refusal to mature, to be kind, to care about other people. By including Dirk, Gamzee, and Equius at their worst, he also comes to represent misogyny, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy. He's the Condesce's master, and so by extension, he represents fascism and oppression; as Doc Scratch, he gets off on abusing girls, and so he also represents predators and abusers. And his goal is to perpetuate himself, his ideals, what he symbolically represents, down every successive generation. Much like how these cycles of abuse and oppression seek to perpetuate themselves in the real world!
And that's why the alpha timeline, the GAME OVER timeline, is the way that it is: it's one where Lord English WINS. In Lord English's version of the story, everything is fucked up forever. He might be defeated, as is the timeline's inevitability, but his politics, his bigotry, and his ideals live on.
Except.
Our Breath player gains a power that literally unsticks him from time.
Now, personally, I don't believe that the ending we got is the one that was originally intended. I don't feel the need to elaborate upon that here, but suffice to say, given how clearly and consistently these themes are set up throughout the entire rest of the comic, it just makes sense to me that the ending we got, where characters stay dead, never finish their character development, etc. etc., is a MASSIVE tonal and thematic departure, which smacks of external pressures and influences. Everything after [S] GAME OVER is soft canon to me for this reason. But there's things that survive in it that are really really interesting, so I'll mention some.
First, the pre-retcon versions of the characters still exist, as we see from (Vriska). That means that everyone who died in GAME OVER would not necessarily have stopped mattering to the plot. I firmly believe that the original ending would've seen Lord English confronted by the GAME OVER (characters), who would also have the most karmic claim to beating Lord English's face in. This would also satisfy his whole deal of playing by the rules - he knows he HAS to be defeated, he just gets to choose the circumstances of his defeat; without realizing that John's retcon powers can rewrite a timeline, he would've set up his own death to be in the bubbles, at the hands of the already-dead, while Condy claims the Ultimate Reward - thus making it so that he still wins in the end.
But Breath represents freedom, choices - and the retcon powers are something John gains mastery over after completing his personal quest, which we've established is directly tied, both literally and symbolically, into growing up and maturing. By becoming a kind, empathetic, mature adult, John is able to choose something else.
Second, that the Ultimate Self is brought up at all, which seems to me like it would mitigate the bittersweetness of the (characters) from GAME OVER staying dead - because, in my head, the original plan for the retcon was that it would bring everyone back, and therefore, all the (characters) from GAME OVER would live on through the surviving post-retcon gang, who will eventually achieve Ultimate Selfhood, as Davepetasprite^2 says they will. This would also directly mirror the words Godtier!Calliope gives to her counterpart:
CALLIOPE: bUt then... CALLIOPE: what shoUld i do? CALLIOPE: you don't need to do anything. CALLIOPE: be who you've become, and who i didn't. CALLIOPE: consume the fruits of an existence i could never understand. CALLIOPE: live.
Third, there's just so many outstanding plot threads, even for the characters that DO survive. Jake's prophesized to defeat Lord English, Dave never actually gets over his hesitance about time travel and defeating Lord English, Karkat has multiple means of bringing his dead friends back to life and doesn't say anything, Vriska and Terezi still aren't 100% reconciled, Gamzee's tragedy is never addressed, Jane, Dirk, Jake, and Roxy never really figure out their situationship, etc. etc. etc. ... to say nothing about all the plot threads left dangling for the characters that stay dead.
And finally...
Isn't that just kind of a better story? One where the kids get to grow, change, learn from their mistakes, and create a better, kinder universe, after defeating the avatars of cruelty, oppression, and immaturity?
Is it just me? Haha.
#homestuck#lord english#caliborn#doc scratch#andrew hussie#aranea serket#calliope#vriska serket#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley
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Hello! So sorry to bother, I know your inbox must be full but I was reading your latest post and couldn’t help but notice you writing this
“And once Aym died and she saw how grief-struck he’d looked, heard how he rasped out Anthea’s name, watched as he reached out a trembling hand to the Lamb's collapsed, wailing form not to hurt but to comfort, she realized there was more going on.”
And it made me wonder even more how exactly the entire fight sequence went down between them all. I thought that Narinder would make the first strike after the twins deaths, but is it Anthea that does so out of grief or rage?
Anyways I love your content! Its great! Im normal about it!
Anthea strikes first yeah-Narinder had ordered them to sacrifice themself, then the twins to fight at their not so much refusal but more-so asking what the heck was going on (while he'd initially hoped the cages would be enough to encourage Anthea to lay down their life since he was betting on their self-sacrificial nature, when that didn't work he had hoped their love for the twins would get them to stand down instead). But after Baal got killed on accident via knocking Anthea off balance to ensure he'd get hit, then Aym doing almost the same via intentionally aiming for the cages with magic to force Anthea to counter (which unintentionally the curse they chose, an ice-based shield one produced a lot of shrapnel that pierced his stomach), he kinda broke a little? Like with Baal, he froze up in shock and didn't know how to react when Aym immediately went on a mana rage, then when Aym died as well that's what made his brain finally snap back and realize 'oh god what just happened my kids just died'.
Like he only asked Anthea to lay down their life because he was convinced they were going to betray him (see his overview here). And while at the moment he still thought as such, the shock of just losing his sons and now watching the love of his life break down covered in their blood had him just acting off instinct-Anthea's crying, comfort them now.
He reached out a hand, but the looming shadow just triggered a 'Fight' reflex, which was amplified by both their own grief and the Crown's desperation to defend its bearer in the wake of a threatening situation from its POV. Narinder nearly gets his hand blasted off with a curse launched on reflex, and it snaps him into realizing 'oh ok we're fighting now' which the battle goes from there. Narinder's chains had fallen off with each bishop's death so only his collar which was bound to the metaphysical one remained, so he was able to just jump into defense.
Which as a side-note (also see their overview here) Anthea doesn't actually remember much of the fight, like with losing the twins it was like losing their family all over again but worse since this time it was them who killed them, and the grief, confusion, and anger just took over. Combined with Red giving them essentially a massive adrenaline boost to make sure they could fight things just went downhill from there. Had Narinder not reached out his hand like that things might've gone a little differently-but because he spooked them battling it was.
All Anthea could see during that battle was red until Narinder was mortal size and their blade was pressed into his throat-and it was only at seeing how terrified he'd looked in that moment and the fact that they still loved him they snapped out of it. From there they sent him back to the cult, the two had an argument over who planned to betray who, and then they ignored him for the next few months.
So TLDR, the final battle is just a long chain of people making really bad split-second decisions (Baal tripping Anthea thinking he'd just get a simple cut to get Narinder to call it off, Aym following his brother's lead and miscalculating the possible results, Narinder reaching out a hand out of shock, Anthea getting spooked), and them snowballing into more.
(also thank you! :D)
#got a little comic sketched for this I wanna finish at some point~#crimson angel au#cotl#cult of the lamb#writing#writing ideas#narilamb#cult of the lamb au#cotl au#my writing#crimson angel au lore#anthea#narinder cotl
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pool day. bsf!Nick(platonic) x reader x crush!Matt PT.1
when y/n goes to Nick's house for a pool day but someone cant keep his eyes off of her.
WC:1445
AN: if you guys like this I'll write part two tomorrow or Thursday.
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Grabbing your pool bag out of the back of your car you start to the front door of the house. Walking into the triplets house you greet Matt and Chris and head up to Nick's room.
~~
Walking into Nick's room you are greeted with I'm screaming some Billie Eilish song. "Y/N!" Nick screams over the music turning it down a bit. "How are you?"
"Im good Nick, your acting like we didn't just talk two hours ago." You laugh out.
"I know, I know." he turns around and grabs something. "Look what I got you!" He says hold up a tiny bathing suit with a grin on his face.
"Nick its really pretty but you know I don't like wearing that type of stuff." you walk over a hold the bikini in your hands.
"I know, why don't you just try it on. I can always return it... I just thought it would look nice on you." He rambles on.
"Nick stop." You say with a laugh. "Ill try it on ok"
"YAY OK!" He says excitedly
You walk into his bathroom and change into the bathing suit. Looking at yourself in the mirror you really like the bathing suit but it shows more than you would normally.
Walking out of the bathroom Nick whistles at you, making you blush from slight embarrassment. "I'll wear it today, I just don't like wearing revealing stuff like this in public." Nick cheers
"You can even just leave it here if you want, so it doesn't sit in the bottom of you dresser."
"Okay"
"Well what are we waiting for lets go jump in!" Nick changed into his bathing suit while you where in the bathroom trying on the one he had just go you. Throwing you a towel and a shirt from his closet you head downstairs.
"Where are you two going" Matt asks.
"Out to the pool. Wanna come?" You answer him.
"Yeah. Chris?" Matt is now looking at you, only covered in his brother shirt and the little bathing suit bottoms. He gets off the couch and heads past you to his room and Chris down to his.
"Ok, now lets go before they jump in and cause the pool to turn into a wave pool." Nick says laughing.
Walking out to the pool you start to feel really self aware, a feeling you often get when you get in the pool. Nick suddenly jumps into the pool pulling you out of your thoughts by splashing you with some water. Trying to get back at him you pull his shirt up over your head and go to jump in before you hear the sliding door open.
Its Matt coming out with just his bathing suit on. You can help but look at him. His tattooed arm being fully on display and light arm muscles flexing. Matt clears his throat pulling you back to reality. You now full on sprint and jump into the pool going under and swimming closer to Nick to scare him.
Screaming from behind Nick when you come up out of the water. He screams 10x louder than you causing you to let out a laugh. He then picks you up causing you to let out a squeal as he throws you back into the water.
Coming up for air you see Matt swimming toward you. You smile knowing what is going to happen. Suddenly you're lifted out of the water now on Matt's shoulders. His hands on your thighs, you wiggle to get comfortable. This making Matt's grip on your thighs tighter so you don't fall.
Chris is now on Nick's shoulders as you guys start to fight out of the water. You and Chris start to push at each other trying to get the other person to fall into the water. Chris loses his balance a little and you use this as an opportunity to push him one more time and you end up getting him to fall back into the water.
Matt slowly lowers you into the water and you slide off of his shoulders. He turns around and pulls you into a hug. Laughing as you pull away looking into his eye, but his eyes are down. "Matt, my eyes are up here." You say with a giggle as he starts to turn red and swim away.
You swim closely behind Matt trying to tell him he's good, but he is quick to get out of the pool and go inside. "That was weird." Chris states.
"Yeah he was the one who won." Nick adds on to what Chris had just said.
~~
Matt's been inside for 10 minutes now. You're on one of the pool chairs tanning when you hear the door slide open. Looking up you see Matt now with drier hair and a more relaxed face. He walks over to the chair on the far end of the pool, the farthest one from you. The sun is now in the middle of the sky, shinning right down on to you causing you to have a thin layer of sweat form on your skin, as you close your eyes again.
Feeling eyes on you once again, you open your own and look around. Finding Matt looking at you with a small smile paints his face. When he notices that you see him staring, he looks away quickly.
"y/n" Nicks voice pulls you to look the other way.
"Yeah?" You question
"Its sooooo hot, can we please go inside?" He drags out the "so", so it seems more dramatic than it really is.
"Yeah why not, it is kinda hot." You say back to him.
Getting up you feel eyes on you the whole time. You know their Matt's eyes now. Moving your butt a little more than usual as you walk back into the house. You turn to wave to him knowing it would get him worked up.
You and Matt have always had a flirty relationship but you both know nothing would really happen. But when you saw him looking at you in the pool earlier, idk you felt some kind of way. Butterfly's formed in your stomach just thinking about it.
~~
Walking into the bathroom to get changed, you go to close the door when something stop it. You look to find Matt's hand-the one with rings scattered of his fingers. You find his eyes as he works his way into the bathroom. "Matt what are you doing?" questioning why he is now in the bathroom with you.
Closing the door behind him, he rest his back against it. "Do you know what you were doing to me out there?" His eyes darker than usual. "When did you get this?" He ask now looking all over your body as he goes up to the straps near you chest.
Squeezing your thighs together you try to answer him. "I- Ni- Nick got it for me." you manage to get out. The tension in the room growing thicker as he moves closer to you. "I don't really like it tho.." You say trying to think about anything else in the room other than the 5 foot 8 man stalking over you.
"You should like it, it looks really good on you." His hand now moving to your jaw. The rings on his fingers are cold against your burning hot skin.
You try to think about what to say. Suddenly his hands are wrapping around your thighs and you're sitting on the counter. The marble is cold on your warm thighs that are still pressed together tightly.
Matt's eyes are dark and he is looking at you like he's on death row and you're his last meal. Looking back into his eyes they soften. He scoffs. You were driving him crazy and you knew it. He suddenly kisses your neck.
Gasping not expecting the sudden contact from the man that has been off limits for so long. This makes you squeeze around nothing. Your head tilts back giving him more room to work with as he moves down to you chest.
"You said you don't like this bathing suit?" You don't answer him right away "Right"
"Ye- Yes" You stumble over your words still not sure what to think about what is happening. All you know is that you like this and don't want it-this-to end.
He suddenly pulls away looking at your neck. His fingers brush over the spot he was just attacking with his mouth. "Hope you have some make up with you" He says as he turns around and leaves you there on the counter, alone, after he built up all that tension.
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AN pt2: I hope you guys liked this! I want to say thank you for all the likes and follows. I'm still new to all of this writing stuff so I am open to any comments (nice one) to help improve my writing. so far I am really liking being able to express myself creatively in this way. OKAY BYE! LOVE YOU GUYS! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#smut#chris x reader
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hi !! could i request a annabeth chase x fem reader that’s really angsty, like im thinking that they’re close friends and annabeth is like sure that reader likes percy and so she bottles her feelings up until she can’t hold it anymore and its all hurt/comfort (i have been listening to ttpd too much lately)
“ a greater woman stays cool (but i howl like wolf at the moon) ”
annabeth chase x fem!reader 🦉
a/n kinda short
⋆。˚୨୧˚。⋆
When Y/N started hanging around more, Annabeth knew why. It was because of Percy. It had to be. Everyone since the dawn of time has had a crush on Perseus Jackson.
Why wouldn't they? He was handsome, charming, brave, funny, smart- that dumbass was everything someone could want. Most importantly, he was a boy.
When the mornings would come, Annabeth would never admit how she’d watch her friend as she would sit with her siblings at breakfast. The way she would laugh at something they’d say. She would throw her head back, letting her locks of hair fall out of her face, nearly catching the gray eyes in a stare. But Annabeth would quickly turn and fake a conversation.
It was more recently that Annabeth couldn't bare it. When the girl would come around when her and Percy were handing out, she would always find some excuse to leave. Or when she knew y/n would be somewhere, suddenly she was just "too busy." She knew she had to avoid y/n at all costs.
However, it was this day that she found y/n practicing with Percy that killed her. She couldn't look away from the way he had his arms around y/n, showing her how to balance her sword.
Her stomach flipped as the scene unfolded in front of her very eyes. His calloused hands over her smaller ones.
She soon locked eyes with Y/N, who softly smiled in return, “Annabeth!”
The blonde awkwardly waved before rushing off to her cabin. The two others were left confused, y/n speaking, “I’m gonna go check on her.” Percy nodded before she ran after Annabeth, awkwardly bumping into a few other campers on the way.
When she finally reached the Athena cabin, she was happy to find only a few of Annabeth’s siblings were there.
She stopped Malcolm as he began walking out the door, “have you seen Annabeth?’
“Yeah, she just ran into the bathroom,” he explained, pointing to the closed door.
“Thanks,” she waved as he left. She made her way to the white door and softly knocked, “Annabeth, it’s y/n,” she prefaced, “are you okay? I just wanted to check on you.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Annabeth was staring at her puffy red eyes in the mirror, “one second,” she called, wiping her eyes and fanning herself to look normal.
“You didn't answer my question.”
“I’m fine,” she choked out.
“No, you're… I’m coming in,” y/n responded, turning the doorknob.
Annabeth panicked, trying to get to the door before it opened. But alas, y/n opened the door, finding the mess of the blonde, standing in front of her.
“Beth-”
“Ugh,” Annabeth covered her face with her tissue filled fists, “it’s stupid, it's so stupid.” She stepped back, eventually sitting on top of the closed toilet.
“What happened?” Y/N kneeled at her, “did I do something?”
“No, gods, it’s not your fault.”
She placed her hand on Annabeth’s knee, “are you sure? Because you keep acting weird whenever I’m around you and Percy, was it because of him and I training- oh.”
The blonde nervously looked at the girl on the ground, beginning to lean back. She knew. She had to. She figured her all out.
“You have a crush on Percy, don’t you?”
Nevermind.
“Oh my gods,” she leaned back. “No, no I don't have a crush on Percy.”
“Oh?”
She took a deep breath, “I don't have a crush on Percy, and I’m not mad at you. I just,” she swallowed, “you two training did bother me, but…”
“What?”
“It’s because of you, not Percy,” she snapped.
Y/N tilted her head, standing up, “what?”
“Look,” she stood up as well, walking past the other girl, “I know you have a crush on Percy-”
“Ew, no I don't.”
Annabeth stood still, looking at y/n, “yes you do?”
She laughed, “gods, no, I don’t.”
“You guys are just friends?”
She nodded, “of course, I couldn't have a crush on him.”
“Why not?”
“Same reason you don’t.”
“Oh?”
“Oh.”
Annabeth leaned against the wall, “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you're not,” y/n stood next to her, “you're wise.”
Annabeth just laughed, “shut up,” she nagged the girl in return.
“You shut up,” y/n nudged her back.
“Shut up.”
“Shut-” with that, Annabeth held her face in her hands to pull her into a kiss.
As they pulled away, y/n spoke again, “okay, I’ll shut up.”
#annabeth chase x reader#annabeth chase x fem!reader#annabeth chase#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth chase x y/n#annabeth chase x you#annabeth chase imagine#annabeth chase headcanon#based on a taylor swift song
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was wonderiiiiiiiing if you'd be up for any jimcurly hcs if they were in an au? I had so many idea and now that Im here Im blanking lmao- something fluffy please! Im dehydrated over here (there's so much toxic yaoi,- and don't get me wrong, im obsessed, but also- I want them to have some genuine moments yk TT_TT)
ohhh have I got LOTS of thoughts for you anon. wall of text inbound!
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curly
curly has a naturally gentle, soft and nurturing personality. he's known jimmy for years, and despite his temperamental moments, he still welcomed him with open arms, even trusting him to live under his roof when he was down on his luck. simply put, curly loves jimmy, he always has. he just doesn't know where the line is drawn between them. but he's content with just being in the same room as him
curly's love language is acts of service, and preparing home-cooked meals is his favorite way to display that. he'll invite jimmy to a plate he's prepared, who he knows will most likely reject the offer, even though he's probably hungry, but he'll eventually cave in. he always does
they'll eat on the couch, their shoulders close together and knees idly knocking. curly will happily yap and get lost in a multitude of side tangents, while jimmy just listens, rarely chiming in. it used to drive curly crazy when he'd refuse to speak; he wanted to know what was going on in the other's mind so badly. but he's since accepted that that's just how he was. ever the observer, hardly the engager. and that was okay. he had enough thoughts to talk for the both of them
he often thinks about how jimmy was before everything, back when they were younger, before the world was big, and before his brain practically consumed him. it saddens him in the moment, but its fine, he doesn't dwell for too long. all jimmy needs is encouragement and love, and curly is happy to provide that. he would do anything for jimmy. and he wouldn't have it any other way
jimmy
jimmy wholeheartedly believes that he is incapable of loving or even caring about another human being, yet feels strange when in curly's company. he's always psyching himself out regarding this— his thoughts and senses aren't often reliable, his mind is always playing tricks on him, and he fucking hates labels. but curly? that motherfucker was an enigma
he'll never outright say it, but he enjoys when curly touches his hair or places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a quick squeeze. small notions that aren't overbearing, but still communicate "I'm in your corner". it's comforting, those touches that, if placed by anybody else, would probably irritate the fuck out of him. but coming from curly, they were bearable. more than that, they were welcome
one of the traits he likes about curly is that he doesn't helicopter. he knows how to speak jimmy's language, or at least, does his best, and jimmy likes that. but at the same time, curly doesn't enable. doesn't let him do stupid shit if he knows it'll be harmful or make him upset. and god fucking damn does it piss jimmy off in the moment, because who is he to criticize how he lives his life? but the morning after, he's more often than not begrudgingly appreciative that curly is stern enough to reel him in and keep him grounded. its a careful balance, one they've mastered well over the years
sometimes, and only sometimes, does jimmy think about holding him. when his brain is just a little bit calmer, often after a really good talk or meal. he usually lets those thoughts perish, but sometimes, he starts to fantasize. not even about sex, just about having a normal fucking domestic life. being in love, being loved, being intimate. he'll catch himself looking into curly's eyes and try to imagine some sort of future, one where he gets his shit together and learns to tolerate being alive. one where curly can say he's proud of him and have a reason to actually mean it. a nice house, a different city, maybe they'd even get a dog. the idea always feels like a far away pipe dream, but fuck if it isn't nice to think about, at least for a little while
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WHEW sorry i got kinda carried away with this one, i just have so many feelings about them. also this is probably more of an, uh... melancholic fluff lol but I hope you like it anyway! ( ; w ; )
#also sorry if these are a bit OOC but im using the excuse that this is an AU to justify it heheheh#also i may have a smidgen of jimcurly brainrot rn since im currently writing a fic for them but im normal im normal im so fuckin normal#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing headcanons#jimcurly#rq
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⸝⸝ (p1h) jongseob x male reader short drabble ! fluff
thinking about how jongseob probably talks in pout when he really wants you to listen to him or do something with/for him. if he needs your attention for something, probably wants to show you something on his switch or phone, he'll start tapping your arm as the first resort and calling your name. but if you're still not looking, he puts his phone/switch down on his lap and makes his voice louder.
"look for just one second, one second," he says, making you turn around and see his lips turned into a pout and his eyes in a pretty doe shape. he picks up his phone/switch and presents the screen to you, a relaxed smile on his face as he now has all of your attention.
if you guys are in a crowded area and he wants you to look at him, the beginning method is similar to if you're alone: he just starts tugging on your clothing, hands, or anything connected to you so you can look at him. but if the area is too hectic and loud for that, he presses his face into any part of your body (whether it be your back, shoulder, arm, etc) and just puts his body weight there because you'll definitely notice a whole grown man's weight on you, duh. when you question him on his behavior, he just brushes it off as if he were acting normal. and then finally is bale to engage in conversation with you, which is what he wanted from the beginning.
( IM PUSHING THE CLINGY JONGSEOB AGENDA IDC )
"wait, where are you going? the video isn't done yet?" he questions, hand already going to your wrist to stop you from getting up from your cuddling position.
"to piss, seobie,"
"go after the video, it's only thirty more seconds," he complains, tugging your limb gently to guide you back, but you don't immediately comply. "baby, c'mon, its quick," the pout evident on his face and in his tone.
"i don't take twenty years to pee, i'll be back soon," you almost laugh at how comical the situation is, but apprently to jongseob, this is everything but funny.
another instance is when you visit the members during their break time, half an hour before they have to get back to learning their new choreo. you're catching up with everyone else, but jongseob wants some more time with you, so he begins tugging on the hem of your shirt.
your standing while he sits, his legs spread with you in between them, and they close every now and then just to tease you and hopefully make you lose your balance. but your determined in talking to keeho about whatever and he's getting more worried that the time will be up before he can properly talk to you.
"[name]," he whines, making keeho roll his eyes at the needy tone. something he was very familiar with, how often jongseob whined near/for you, and knew it was his time to give you two some semi-alone time.
"what's wrong, jongseobie?" it's a soft question you ask while sitting next time, the man immediately turning into your side and resting his head on your shoulder.
"nothing, keeho was just hogging you," he murmurs, fiddling with your hands and fingers. you smile at his affections, resting your cheek on the top of his head. "we only have five minutes to ourselves now," his infamous pout is present as he says that, making you rub his lower thigh for some sort of support.
"i'm coming over after practice though, at least we can be alone then,"
he rolls his eyes, lifting his head from your shoulder and kissing your cheek repeatedly. it seemed he wanted to make up for the past couple of wasted minutes with simple affections rather than words.
of course, you comply because why would you not.
in the corner of the practice room, you and jongseob are giggling at the chaste and quick kisses you exchange, the latter eventually pinning you down to the sofa and smothering your jaw and neck in littered kisses.
"alright, jongseob, hop off your boyfriend now, we have some more work to do," keeho calls out, his authorotative leader voice enabled and making jongseob sit up.
"i'll see you at the dorm?" he questions, kissing you once more before you can answer.
"mhm, i'll be there," he smiles wide at the response, getting off of your waist and walking over to the members with a new energy.
you pack up your things, put on your coat, and announce your departure from their practice room. jongseob is pouting as he stands with his other members, waving bye to you as the others do the same. the moment you're out of sight, jongseob immediately slouches and the members notice.
"god, it's not gonna be that bad without him here, cheer up," intak says, noticing the immediately dampen that was jongseob's mood. the youngest only groans, waving his hand to signal they continue practice.
"who knew jongseob could be so pouty," theo teases, but puts his hands up in mock surrender when jongseob tiredly glares at him.
"he too in love with his boyfriend to focus on anything else," soul joins in, making obnoxiously loud kissing noises as he eggs on the "teasing jongseob" agenda.
a minature not-serious fight breaks out before they do eventually continue on practice, the pout only leaving jongseob's face when the members do anything particularly funny.
#jongseob x male reader#male reader imagines#jongseob x reader#p1h jongseob x male reader#p1h jongseob x reader#jongseob imagines#male reader#x male reader#kpop idol x male reader#x reader#kim jongseob x male reader#p1harmony x male reader#p1h x male reader#p1h x reader#p1harmony x reader#p1harmony jongseob x male reader#p1harmony imagines#p1h imagines
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as a queer girl, throughout my obsession with arcane I've felt a much bigger pull towards the not cannon yaoi ship that is jayvik rather than the canon yuri ship that is caitvi, and this has made me feel kind of icky about myself lol.
i felt that i was being pulled into the grasp of patriarchy because i felt more compelled towards the shipping of two men than the relationship of two women. i also was nervous that im just a mlm fetishizer bc i like a lot of mlm media but that another story of wlw having so much less media than mlm. all of these fears are here bc im mentally ill and have problems i probably need to be medicated for but it wasnt until i saw someone's post abt why they feel ppl are more obsessed with jayvik than caitvi that i stopped feeling so icky abt myself lol.
they basically said that jayvik was written better than caitvi and basically the whole of act 2 had absolutely nothing to do with caitvi and everything to do with jayvik.
think when it comes to canon queer relationships sometimes writers forget to bring the depth and just bank on the fact that its a canon queer relationship and thats not the most common thing, but when it comes to two characters being shipped usually theyre being shipped bc of the obv closeness their relationship has and the depth in their relationship is just too hard to ignore so ppl ship them.
theres a reason jayvik are shipped and thats bc the writers wrote a duo that care more for eachother than anything else and are basically the cause and the saving grace of the whole show, while caitvi are canon and are complex and beautiful in so many ways but are kinda just put on the back burner especially in season 2. caitvi had other things they were doing other than developing their romantic relationship while jayce and viktor's whol existence at this point revolved around eachother in one way or another. im not saying caitvi shouldve been the point of the show bc its not supposed to be a romance, i just think, again, they balanced things rlly badly this season. first season their relationship was obviously there but their mission was the most important part of the show and season 2, they just kinda got back together without even talking abt their issues, and that just felt so wrong. jayvik talked things out, we saw them make up and it made sense. caitvi made up by going on a mission together then not even talking abt the biggest problems in their relationship and the writers just expect us to feel like theyre back to normal? noooooo. give us more. man this sucks. luv em to death (caitvi) but i miss them deeply.
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