#its a 150 year old book so idk
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POV: You are Sir Danvers Carew
#dr jekyll and mr hyde#the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr hyde#edward hyde#blood warning#blood tw#death tw#jekyll & hyde#sir danvers carew#jekyll and hyde spoilers#ig#its a 150 year old book so idk#he angy#hyde is a little shit#henry jekyll#doctor jekyll#mister hyde#jekyll and hyde fanart#gothic literature#gothic lit art
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maaaaaan. im reading this silly stupid lesbian romance book from the library as one does and having a hehe haha fun time but. idk. we’re in such interesting times with books and social media and discourse of respectability politics and immediate engagement and conversations.
theres a clear detachment while reading ‘classics’ that were originally serialized and pondering the introductions where a modern author talks about critics of that day and this leads you to the original author’s wiki tab about essayists they spared with and going to THEIR wikis etc etc and now youre down a rabbit hole of 1880s marxist discourse. and back to reading the actual text of the ‘classic’ where a character turns to the audience to say something boring and stupid that sparked the whole conversation and youre like this is all so fucking silly nearly 150 years later when im not living it.
and now youre reading a modern silly sloppy book and a character turns to the camera says something inflammatory and outrageous and you know immediately that the author runs in certain circles, for better or worse, and wants you the reader to know this and either completely blanket agree or get da hell out of here! and i put down the book and immediately open twitter, instagram, the authors own webpage and get a vibe check. its all just so surreal. everything changes and everything stays the same. and published works will always be having a conversation at someone vs with bc its already published and over. but i can see in real time what the author is up to now. so weird!!!!
anyways the thing that sparked this is a 22 year old fictional lesbian from small town indiana usa (written by a bi nb person from michigan usa) who, when another lesbian said, in reference to herself AND IN JEST, she isnt queer, og girl said queer is not a slur and if you think its a slur its bc you fell for terf ideology and you arent in community with trans people. 🤨 im going to keep reading it bc free and fun but thats just sitting so heavy on my mind like ???? what did i, little ol me, do to you lmao. im trans and dont like it lol. sigh. interesting times to be alive though
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(not the voice line anon )
I do think Rhea knows it's inevitable for mortals to eventually die from old age and it's just a fact of life. The translation completely changed the words and tone of her lines though. Like yes I do think that's what Rhea kinda sorta IMPLIED but that's NOT what she said.
Also The problem with nemesis is it would take centuries before he and his elites will die from old age and with them alive it would mean constant war. Also theyre waging war using the remains of her mother and kin (who they murdered), I wouldn't let them live either.
I recall Apostle Aubin lived mad long like until he met Yuri!!! Which means nemesis, even without being preserved by TWSITD, could potentially last just as long! Endless war and suffering due to near immortal corrupt powerhungry genocidal humans is not ideal (which is exactly what TWS wants)
Also If fe3h is related to the 3 kingdoms... well historically, like before it became the 3 kingdoms , there was already alot of chaos due to warring warlords and Nemesis and the elites reminds me of warlords all trying to gain more and more power through conquest. Flayn did say they wanted to conquer the world
Oh.
Well the thing that makes me doubt it is how Rhea had human allies, I mean she was lugging around Wilhelm during the War of Heroes when Wilhelm was well past 100 (assuming he wasn't crown at 10 old lol), and until 21ish years ago, Jeralt was still fit/strong enough to be the Legendary Blade Breaker, Captain of the Knights of Seiros.
So unless crested humans's bodies age exceptionally fast past 280 years old (if Jeralt is 300 in Nopes) I don't think his general low perf battle wise is only due to his age.
Nemesis'n'Dudes were, at best, around 170-ish years old (let's say he was 20 when the Red Canyon happened, and it happens not earlier than -40. Nemesis was born in -60? He dies in 92, which would make him around 170-ish by the time he dies?) and were still forces to be reckoned with, Seiros the Warrior herself not stomping them. 100 years later they suddenly suck?
I mean, it's definitely possible, but saying this is the reason why he lost?
I can't see it - however, leaving the Knights and living on the run, not following the hard training regimen/mission knights do might have dulled his blade, Rhea herself complain about not letting her blade becoming dull by wanting to spar more with Catherine, so, idk.
Ahaha, Aubin and the Apostles are another debate lol, imo I'm firmly convinced they were Nabateans and not Crested Humans, but there are enough clues to go both ways!
As for Nemesis, sure, knowing how Nabateans want a peaceful Fodlan and Rhea had her personal revenge on top, she'd have most likely wanted Nemesis dead asap, but she still "waited" 70 years before going to war with him and 150 years after Zanado to kill him, if Jerry sucks because of old age, they could just have stalled.
Sadly, about all those points you raised, we can just theorise and honeypot and HC things away, because the devs dgaf about those things and unless we get a guidebook like Tellius did 10 years after its release, we might never have answers :/
(but even if the book is published, you can bet it'd won't be localised for the US market, unless Treehouse can edit it lol)
#anon#replies#rhea stuff#i might be harsh on jerry#3 nopes#I hate how we don't have definite clues on what were the apostles#crested humans like the elites#humans who got crests from nabateans willingly like Willy'n'co#or Nabateans?#given how Big B says the people of Kupala got their crests#I'd say Nabateans ditto for Yuri#but then Seteth's words in Nopes are kind of weird#unless Aubin the nabatean curses his nature because his blood made humans grow made and it's the raeson why they#killed everyone - like again victim blaming but maybe aubin is just self depreciating to oblivion#or he calls his blood cursed because he didn't know where the magic came from? But why would it be a curse? Is it like a sin he has to bear#we will never know :(#pre imperial era#war of heroes stuff#at least mention!
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Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis
Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.
If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.
Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.
Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH
Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.
Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.
EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?
Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.
Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.
"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)
"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...
Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.
"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.
Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.
Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)
"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.
Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)
"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.
*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.
Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.
Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]
Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD
Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.
Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.
"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?
"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.
Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.
Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.
Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.
"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.
"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!
"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.
The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.
Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.
Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.
Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)
Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?
Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.
Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.
Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)
"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.
"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...
Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."
"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.
Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.
So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.
Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...
Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.
The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.
#fazbear frights#fnaf spoilers#spoilers#what we found#michael afton#springtrap#fnaf theories#fnaf theory#fnaf 3#midnight motorist#mrs. afton#henry emily
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that ask reminds me of the time that i was talking abt how there are v few major Native characters in pop fiction. and one of my classmates was like "But Dumbledore is Native" which is how i learned that apparently in the seventh Harry Potter book harry sees a picture of dumbledores mom and thinks she's Native because she has dark hair and eyes, high cheekbones, and she looks serious and stoic or smthng 😬
Dumblebore is also 150 years old & British so Idk if I wanna think about this fuckin idiot's explanation of how a Native woman ended up in Britain to have him in 1841 in a totally not racist way if she actually intended that to be true but its still a stupid thing to say
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Started!
This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u
I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.
Highlights from today:
Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)
Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man
On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT
As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T
And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;
played some more...
Let me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)
What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith.
Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )
As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.
This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.
I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well.
Ok, now shorter updates:
Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.
Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...
Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.
and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;
Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?
That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.
We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!
lets start with this cool shot
so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...
Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.
And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;
the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for
As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.
and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...
Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away
If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.
A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?
And with that we reach the skyhold.
in skyhold
I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<
Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(
(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)
then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D
It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT
Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?
another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(
and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)
anyways that’s all for now, laters
some random updates:
so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow
i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?” but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.
Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...
when cassandra said:
“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”
great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).
I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.
And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;
What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?
And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.
update
After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...
but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;
Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D
know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....
... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;
Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony
The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke. bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;
oh i also slayed a dragon. I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times).
And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like
it was awful and you weren’t even there.
i forgot to update
but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!
and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)
new update
BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T
Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.
Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.
another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...
and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.
#it's a terrible time to start a dragon age game but it's the only time#meet me at val royeaux with my pal cole fixing people's lives every sunday 5 pm
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I hate the concept of the child ballads at this point like. they're just ballads that existed in the tradition before child and they've existed after him, he was literally just some american guy and his classism, misogny, racism, and general bad practise made his work by today's standards wildly unreliable but ballad scholarship is all quite ropey so we're just used to making do with that stuff. most of his ballads weren't collected directly from oral tradition; many were taken from the work of other collectors and many were collected from oral tradition later so there's very little that would've been completely lost without child - especially since he literally didn't collect tunes and deliberately left out tons of beautiful ballads with very flimsy justification.
'The Child Ballads' are not any sort of coherent category of song and none of the songs in the collection owe any sort of allegiance to child, also casting such a net into the waters of british and american balladry is just excluding a bunch of other similar ballads for no reason except 150 year old classism. through the second revival his work kind of cycled back around to be a part of folk tradition in its own right but the concept of the child ballads as an inherent category of folk music is only like 50 years old and it literally just means ballads that child put in his book so acting like thats an inherent part of their identity is like idk calling a word that appears in the Oxford English dictionary an 'Oxford word'
#child ballads#i don't really like that that's how people encounter and know them#like. they're not his in any description at all lol#we can start calling them bronson ballads tho bert is a lad#[refers to literally every English language folk song as a Roud Ballad]#so much misinformation here n like sometimes it's harmless but sometimes its not. please don't use anything Anais mitchell said as ur info#also don't use Wikipedia sjdkdkdo#also like look into child and learn what kind of man's he was lol
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ah, I'mtrans (he/him pronouns), and was wondering which words I should use for stuff like "I, me, my"? like, boku is my right? I don't know any ohers though.
Hi! Thank you for your ask. First person pronouns (I, me, mine) can get pretty complex in Japanese, but that gives you much more freedom of expression than English. Let me give you a thorough description of each so you can make an informed decision on which one is right for you. :)
First Person Pronouns in Japanese
Who do you want to be?
In English, we only have one pronoun to express ourselves. “I.” It really doesn’t get any more boring than that.
Maybe that’s why personal pronouns are one of the most interesting aspects of Japanese in my opinion. I actually did a research paper on the history of second-person pronouns (you) in Japanese back in uni.
Why does Japanese have so many ways to say “I?” As I’m sure most of you know, social class and politeness is a fundamental aspect of Japanese culture and language. Different personal pronouns for oneself and others clarify the social standing of each person in the conversation.
I’ll introduce the commonly used ones in order of politeness (most polite to least polite), and then cover the rare ones.
私 Watakushi
Gender: neutral
Plural Form: Watakushi-tachi
This is the most formal personal pronoun, and is used in very formal situations, like when you’re speaking to the president of a company or someone very important. In writing, because it has the same kanji as “watashi,” it is commonly written in hiragana.
私 Watashi
Gender: neutral (kind of)
Plural Form: Watashi-tachi, watashira
This is the most common personal pronoun.
Like the above watakushi, it conveys a sense of politeness. When used by men, it carries a note of humility and politeness.
However, it is the standard pronoun for women. Because we’re all supposed to be humble at all times? haha
So this is gender neutral and you can use it when you want to be polite.
あたし Atashi
Gender: Female
Plural form: Atashi-tachi, atashira
This is a bastardization of watashi.
It is casual and used exclusively by women. It sounds very feminine. In Japanese tv shows and anime, most male characters cross-dressing as women use “atashi” and it sounds very hyper-feminine. Like, if drag is hyper-feminine dress, “atashi” is the hyper-feminine way of speaking that would go with it.
うち Uchi
Gender: Female
Plural: Uchira
This comes from the word 家 uchi. The kanji literally means “house,” but it can be used to mean “my family” or “us” in certain contexts. For example:
Japanese: 田中さんは自宅でどんな醤油を使っていますか?うちはやっぱりキッコーマンです。
Romaji: Tanaka-san ha jitaku de donna shouyu wo tsukatte imasu ka? Uchi ha yappari Kikkoman desu.
English: Tanaka-san, what kind of soy sauce do you use at home? We use Kikkoman.
From that use of uchi we get the personal pronoun uchi. This is generally used by young girls, college age and younger. It definitely has a very Valley Girl feel to it and isn’t professional.
僕 Boku
Gender: Mostly male, but female in certain contexts
Plural: Boku-tachi, bokura
If you want to rely on tropes to understand what sort of person would use “boku,” think of those harem anime. The nicest, sweetest guy almost always uses “boku” for himself. Contrasted with “ore,” it sounds softer, humbler, and kinder.
It can also sound very slightly childish. Well, not childish. It sounds young. My boss’s boss, who is in his 60′s, uses boku instead of ore and it always strikes me as peculiar because he’s kinda too old to use boku. It makes him sound very humble and kind and the most approachable person ever.
Boku is a good pronoun to use if you want to give off a soft, friendly, safe aura. While it isn’t as polite as watashi, you can still use it in formal settings.
Occasionally, this pronoun is used by women. Specifically, it is used by female singers. It doesn’t matter the band, it doesn’t matter the song–every single female singer uses “boku” in their songs to refer to themselves.
“Why?��� you may ask. This is because singers want to connect to their listeners, and “watashi” is too formal and creates a bit of a barrier. “Atashi” and “uchi” are too feminine/childish, and “ore” is way too harsh. So “boku” became the choice for female singers.
俺 Ore
Gender: Male
Plural: Orera, ore-tachi
Going back to anime tropes, “ore” is used by the “bad boy” or the “I don’t give a shit what you think” boy. Inuyasha, Kurosaki Ichigo (Bleach), and Eren Yeager (Attack on Titan) all use “ore.” This is in contrast to “nicer” characters in the shows that use “boku,” like Miroku (Inuyasha), Ishida Uryuu (Bleach), and Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan).
Ore is considered “rough and tough” because it is very informal. It is used when the people you are talking to are within your inner circle or are beneath you. So you would never use it when talking to, say, your boss’s boss. (You might be able to use it with your boss if you are close with him and you have a friendship though.)
That said, the vast majority of Japanese men I know use ore more than boku. So it wouldn’t be strange if you used ore. Just be aware that it isn’t as polite as you may want to be.
And now for the rare pronouns…
Disclaimer: DON’T USE THESE. Japanese people will think you’re super weird and not in a good way. But you are likely to hear them in anime, dramas, or conversations.
👆 Me outside your door if you use “sessha” to refer to yourself unironically
拙者 Sessha
Literally “Unskilled one,” this is a very humble way to refer to yourself. It was commonly used by samurai, and probably the most famous anime character that uses it is Kenshin from Ruroni Kenshin. DO. NOT. USE. IT. unless you are jokingly pretending to be a samurai for like one sentence.
吾輩 Wagahai
Though no longer in common usage, there isn’t a Japanese person that isn’t aware of this pronoun because of Natsume Soseki’s famous book Wagahai ha Neko de Aru (I Am a Cat). Written in 1905, it’s about a cat who observes its owners and the uneasy mix of Western culture and Japanese traditions and the aping of Western customs.
“Wagahai” is the pronoun a nobleman or someone of very high rank would use to refer to himself, so the fact that a common house cat is using it to refer it self shows that, even a hundred years ago, everyone thought that cats were self-important.
我 Ware
Plural: 我々 Wareware, 我ら Warera
To be honest, I don’t know a lot about this one. You hear it quite a bit in anime, and it’s always said by some stuffy important old guy. So…it’s probably for stuffy, old, important men to use? Just don’t use it.
己 Ora
Used exclusively by men, the only somewhat main character I’ve seen use this pronoun is King from Seven Deadly Sins. In manga, it is usually written in hiragana or katakana. It has a very “country bumpkin” feel to it. A simple country person who doesn’t know the ways of the world (but not in a bad way).
俺様 Oresama
DO NOT USE THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. It is the rudest personal pronoun “ore” with the honorific “sama” attached to it.There is nothing ruder, nothing more “you are the dirt I walk upon” than this. If you use this and you’re not joking, the Japanese people around you will instantly dislike you.
儂 Washi
Usually written in hiragana or katakana, “washi” is the way that old people refer to themselves. It’s gender-neutral. Like…idk, 60 and upwards? So don’t use this unless you fall into that age range.
某 Soregashi
I think I’ve only seen this once, used by a character in Rurouni Kenshin who was quickly killed. It was used by samurai. So unless YOU are a samurai from 150 years ago, don’t use it. It’s so low frequency that if you used it as a joke I doubt Japanese people would understand. But hey. You learned a cool new word.
The End!
I hope that this post helps you choose the pronoun that fits you best. ♡
#moderately interesting Japanese#personal pronouns#study japanese#japanese#japanese language#learn japanese#kanji#study kanji#learn kanji#ask me anything#answer#first person pronouns#JLPT#jlpt n5#jlpt n4#jlpt n3#jlpt n2#jlpt n1#n5 vocabulary#n4 vocabulary#nihongo#japanese vocabulary#japanese vocab#japanese history#japanese culture#japanese linguistics#samurai#asks are open#anime#manga
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for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D
delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon:
200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)
199: I was born in: 2003
198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself
197: My cellphone company is: Apple
194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.
193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″
192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of
191: My 1st car was: 94 Station Wagon, by request
190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig
189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby
188: My bed is: “made”
187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image
186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro
185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4 xbox
183: Piggy banks are: really useful
182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight
181: On my calendar: i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow
180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!
179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme
178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can.
177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)
176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno
175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count
174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!
172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while
171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major
170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: Nope.
168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered
167: Fate: To an extent
166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho
165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah
164: Heaven: Yes
163: Hell: Yes
162: God: Yeup
161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago
160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with
159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know
158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.
157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...
156: Orbs: ??? energies are real
155: Magic: vibes are real
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: irdc but black hair bc i am Emo
150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye
149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)
143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate
140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes
139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi
136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama
135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin
134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst
131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done
127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday
125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some
124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)
123: Yankees or Red Sox: what
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already
121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?
120: Gay Marriage: be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah
119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself
118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby
117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad
116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this
115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy.
114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )
113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books
112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif
111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?
110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.
109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so
108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly
107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me
106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition.
105: My family: disgusting
104: The future: the future doesn’t exist
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this
102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed
100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying
99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out
98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons
97: Swam in a pool: last week
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude
93: Broke a bone: never, somehow
92: Got a peircing: nope
91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow
90: Texted: just now
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat
87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence
85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has
84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here.
83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini
80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band?
79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother
76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy
74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)
73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring
72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way
71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer
70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me
69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog
68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them
66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie
65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)
64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them
63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie
62: My School: is trash but the band pops off
61: My Car: old, fast, clean
60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad
59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six
58: Your hair color is: blonde
57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec
56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube
55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well.
52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told
51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.
50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc
49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO
48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?
47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”
46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson
41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.
40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet
39: I would like to move to: new zealand
38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: nerds
36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt
35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard
34: State visited: california
33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk
32: Athlete: what is sport
31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies
30: Actress: i do not consume media
29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon
28: Band: fall out boy
27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)
26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man
25: TV show: supernatural...
24: Movie: big hero 6
23: Website: tumblr or youtube
22: Animal: snow leopard
21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast
20: Holiday: christmas
19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow
18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)
17: Magazine: i do not condume media
16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book
15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey
14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience
13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega
12: Thing to cook: pancakes
11: Food: pizza or shushi
10: Restaurant: chiplote
9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station
8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc
7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it
6: Flower: Hydrangea
5: Color: orange
4: Talk show host: cecil palmer
3: Comedian: john maulaney
2: Dog breed: yes
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)
That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D
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Review: Prince's Gambit Ch 1
Prince’s Gambit
Review Chapter 1:
So we start off this book with our characters riding towards Chastillon. What I really like about the beginning is that we see Damen becoming more friendly with the other men.
“It’s hunting country,’ said Orlant, mistaking the nature of his gaze. "Dare you to make a run for it.”
This piece of dialogue is half joking, half wary (if that makes any sense) which I absolutely love and sets the foundations for the trust the builds as we go through the book.
After a while Damen is summoned by Paschal, the physician:
It was fine. His back had healed enough that new scars had replaced new wounds. Damen craned for a glimpse but, not being an owl, saw almost nothing. He stopped before he got a crick in his neck.
The physician rummaged in the satchel and produced one of his endless ointments.
‘A massage?’
‘These are healing salves. It should be done every night. It will help the scarring to fade a little, in time.’
That was really too much. ‘It’s cosmetic?’
The physician said, ‘I was told you would be difficult. Very well. The better it heals, the less your back will trouble you with stiffness, both now and later in life, so that you will be better able to swing a sword around, killing a great many people. I was told you would be responsive to that argument.’
‘The Prince,’ said Damen. But of course. All this tender care of his back, like soothing with a kiss the reddened cheek you have slapped.
I always found this exchange interesting (side note I found the owl thing kinda amusing.) The question “is it cosmetic” hearkens back to what we know about Akielon culture and how while male nudity is not reviled using cosmetics on the male body is. Damen’s reluctance is not just him being rebellious but is coloured by this cultural view and his reluctance is only assuaged by the physician propounding its practical value.
Further the last bit is also very interesting, it serves to remind the reader of all the brutalities Laurent has inflicted upon Damen, but also symbolises the beginning of Laurent trying to remedy all of it.
As they talk we find out that Paschal served the king and tended to the fallen at Marlas.
“If you served the King,’ said Damen, ‘how is it you now find yourself in the Prince’s household, and not his uncle’s?’
‘Men find themselves in the places they put themselves,’ Paschal said, closing his satchel with a snap.”
This exchange is interesting because it really hones in the idea that there are people who serve Laurent out of sheer loyalty. Up until this point the reader is positioned to hate Laurent, so it's a surprise to see that there a people willing to be on his side. Slowly our hatred for him is unraveling.
After this Damen goes to the courtyard and meets Jord who tells him to go to the armoury. Once there we meet Aimeric (who was briefly introduced at the end of Captive Prince) who was getting his ass beat. When Damen enters he tells the three men to stop.
“It wasn’t Damen’s size that stopped them. It wasn’t the sword he held casually in his hand. If these men really wanted to make a fight out of it, there were enough swords, flingable armour pieces, and teetering shelves to turn this into something long and ludicrous. It was only when the leader of the men saw Damen’s gold collar that he shoved out an arm, holding the others back.
And Damen understood, in that moment, exactly how things were going to be on this campaign: the Regent’s men in ascendancy. Aimeric and the Prince’s men were targets because they had no one to complain to except Govart, who would slap them back down. Govart, the Regent’s favourite thug, brought here to keep the Prince’s men in “and the Prince’s men were targets because they had no one to complain to except Govart, who would slap them back down. Govart, the Regent’s favourite thug, brought here to keep the Prince’s men in check. But Damen was different. Damen was untouchable, because Damen had a direct line of reportage to the Prince.”
I always think it must be weird for Damen (a prince, future king, war hero, etc) to see that his power doesn’t come from he himself this time but rather because of Laurent. I don’t really have much commentary on this other than it must feel weird for him.
Anyway the men leave, Damen and Aimeric talk to each other for the first time. We learn that Aimeric is young, 19. Once again we are presented with notion of loyalty.
“Aimeric didn’t budge. ‘You couldn’t take a flogging like a man. You opened your mouth and squealed to the Regent. You laid hands on him. You spat on his reputation. Then you tried to escape, and he still intervened for you, because he’d never abandon a member of his household to the Regency. Not even someone like you.’
Damen had gone very still. He looked at the boy’s young, bloody face, and reminded himself that Aimeric had been willing to take a beating from three men in defence of his Prince’s honour. He’d call it misguided puppy love, except that he’d seen the glint of something similar in Jord, in Orlant, and even, in his own quiet way, in Paschal/ him.
“Damen thought of the ivory and gold casing that held a creature duplicitous, self-serving and untrustworthy.
‘You’re so loyal to him. Why is that?’
‘I’m not a turncoat Akielon dog,’ said Aimeric.
It’s kinda of interesting in hindsight now that we know Aimeric is on the regents side. I’m not going to comment on this bc idk what I can say.
Anyway after this Damen delivers the inventory to Rochert as promised. It’s mentioned that the preparations should have happened a lot earlier and out of the 150 men the regent sent only less than two dozen are actually helping.
Jord then approached Damen and says that Aimeric won’t foment any more tension which Damen knows is a lie. Damen asks where the Captain is and we find out that:
“The Captain is in one of the horse stalls, up to his waist in the stableboy,”
And that Damen is going to be the one to fetch him. When Damen finally arrives at the stables we see Govart fucking the stable boy. When told that he his to see the Prince, Govart is adamant in wanting to finish his business and says Laurent is just
“ really just a tease who wants cock”
This provokes an interesting reaction in Damen
“Damen felt anger settle inside him, a tangible weight. He recognised an echo of the impotence Aimeric must have experienced in the armoury, except that he was not a green nineteen year old who had never seen a fight. His eyes passed impassively over the half-unclothed body of the stableboy. He realised that in a moment he was going to return to Govart in this small, dusty stall all that was owed for the rape of Erasmus.”
While we know that Damen and Govart have some history but its interesting that this reaction is provoked when Govart insults the Prince. Does it imply that Damen feels a weird sense of loyalty? Perhaps. Or perhaps he just really hates Govart.
Eventually Govart gives in to the Prince’s orders.
Finally it is time for Damen to report to the castellan and he is led to to the bedchamber. Here we get another crumb about the regent and Laurent’s relationship.
“The Prince stays here often?’
The castellan mistook him to mean the keep, not the rooms. ‘Not often. He and his uncle came here a great deal together, in the year or two after Marlas. As he grew older, the Prince lost his taste for the runs here. He now comes only rarely to Chastillon.”
While most of us picked up on their relationship, its a surprise Damen does not. Once again this serves to reveal Damen’s naivety which stems from his trusting nature and the straightforwardness of his culture.
Food is brought and Damen waits for Laurent while pondering on the political situation the regent has created for Laurent. He intends to tear the group apart.
Laurent finally arrives:
“'I have saved you till last'….Laurent calmly helped himself to goblet and pitcher, pouring himself a drink. Damen couldn’t help glancing at the goblet, remembering the last time they had been alone together in Laurent’s rooms.
Pale brows arched a fraction. ‘Your virtue’s safe. It’s just water. Probably.’ Laurent took a sip, then lowered the goblet, holding it in refined fingers. He glanced at the chair, as a host might offering a seat, and said, as though the words amused him, ‘Make yourself comfortable. You are going to stay the night.’
‘No restraints?’ said Damen. ‘You don’t think I’ll try to leave, pausing only to kill you on the way out?’
‘Not until we get closer to the border,’ said Laurent.
He returned Damen’s gaze evenly. There was no sound but the crack and pop of the banked fire.
‘You really do have ice in your veins, don’t you,’ said Damen.”
“Laurent placed the goblet carefully back on the table, and picked up the knife.
It was a sharp knife, made for cutting meat. Damen felt his pulse quicken as Laurent came forward. Only a handful of nights ago, he had watched Laurent slit a man’s throat, spilling blood as red as the silk that covered this room’s bed. He felt shock as Laurent’s fingers touched his, pressing the hilt of the knife into his hand. Laurent took hold of Damen’s wrist below the gold cuff, firmed his grip, and drew the knife forward so that it was angled towards his own stomach. The tip of the blade pressed slightly into the dark blue of his prince’s garment.
‘You heard me tell Orlant to leave,’ said Laurent.
Damen felt Laurent’s grip slide down his wrist to his fingers, and tighten.
“Laurent said, ‘I am not going to waste time on posturing and threats. Why don’t we clear up any uncertainty about your intentions?’
It was well placed, just below the rib cage. All you would have to do was push in, then angle up.
He was so infuriatingly sure of himself, proving a point. Damen felt desire come hard upon him: not wholly a desire for violence, but a desire to drive the knife into Laurent’s composure, to force him to show something other than cool indifference.
He said: ‘I’m sure there are house servants still awake. How do I know you won’t scream?’
‘Do I seem like the type to scream?’
‘I’m not going to use the knife,’ said Damen, ‘but if you’re willing to put it in my hand, you underestimate how much I want to.’
‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘I know exactly what it is to want to kill a man, and to wait.”
This scene here is interesting. We are once again reminded of the assassination attempt and Laurent and Damen's tenuous relationship. They are clearly not friends, there is still hate between them yet a weird sort of trust is forming. Further last bit hints at what we know in hindsight is Laurent’s almost life long obsession with wanting to kill Damen in retribution for Auguste’s death.
“Laurent said, ‘When this campaign is over, I think—if you are a man and not a worm—you will attempt to gain retribution for what has happened to you. I expect it. On that day, we roll the dice and see how they fall. Until then, you serve me. Let me therefore make one thing above all clear to you: I expect your obedience. You are under my command. If you object to what you are told to do I will hear reasoned arguments in private, but if you disobey an order once it is made, I will send you back to the flogging post.”
The terms of their relationship are now set and now Laurent reveals why Damen is here.
“You said you knew the territory,’ ”
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Every question!!
SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS
LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO
1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!
2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess
3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark
4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that
5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀
6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general
7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so
8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale
9: My best first date: :))))))) as if
10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4
11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig
12: What time were I born: 12:19
13: Favourite color: pink!
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”
16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too
17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol
18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont
19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO
20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh
21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s
22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special
23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk
24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels
25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety
26: Meaning behind my URL:
27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD
28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)
29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh
30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry
31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily
32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)
33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired
34: Favourite holiday:
35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it
36: Tattoos and piercings I want:
37: The reason I joined Tumblr:
38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?
39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?
40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no
41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday
42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes
43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months
44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada
45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would
46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears
47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah
48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah
49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always
50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh
51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so
52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so
53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb
54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol
55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend
56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7
57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?
58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”
59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind
60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname
61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online
62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so
63: Do I believe in magic? i think!
64: Do I believe in luck? yeah
65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!
66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class
67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic
68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot
69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget
70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now
71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no
72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter
73: Favourite animal? cats or otters
74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT
75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!
76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀
77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2
78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh
79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word
80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked
81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE
82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?
83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading
84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”
85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO
86: Had sex? no
87: Bought condoms? no
88: Gotten pregnant? NO
89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year
90: Kissed a boy? :(((
91: Kissed a girl? no
92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no
93: Had job? I have a job rn so
94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school
95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?
96: Had sex in public? virgin squad
97: Played on a sports team? yeah
98: Smoked weed? no ew
99: Did drugs? no ew
100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW
101: Drank alcohol? yep
102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die
103: Been overweight? i’m twig
104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small
105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring
106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday
107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?
108: Been outside my home country? ONCE
109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !
110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!
111: Broken a bone? no
112: Cut myself? not technically
113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD
114: Been in airplane? once
115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch
116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI
117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty
118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now
119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good
120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way
121: Had oral sex? as if
122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh
123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY
124: Rode in an ambulance? nope
125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old
126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small
127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?
128: Peed outside? yes
129: Been fishing? YES
130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so
131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly
132: Broken a mirror? no
133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff
134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly
135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit
136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!
137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels
138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that
139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal
140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!
141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee
142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,
143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot
144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT
145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it
146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all
147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed
148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school
149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument
150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition
151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care
152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official @ace-landofthesun @dorkalisious and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls
153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that
154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !
ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye
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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta France to Eurovision with king of controversy
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T’was a good decision for the French televisions to make Destination Eurovision a thing for yet another year. Sure, I only end up having heard of only 1 name per year beforehand (Nassi from 2018 and Florina from 2019, additionally hearing music from one other act from each year but forgetting their names soon after!), but that doesn’t stop everyone else for me from showcasing their best. Heck, I have listened to quite a lot out of some of my Destination 2018 favourites and I have never had any idea who they were! (They were Masoe and Max Cinnamon, je suis absolutely NOT désolée.)
And honestly I found this year extremely much more better to care about. For the previous edition I ended up not caring for like 5 or more songs, because I spent more of my investment in the finalists. This year I pretty much cared about way many more songs, even those that I didn’t wound up liking THAT much. Seemone for example, AKA “the only best possible choice for France from those that don’t need to have big followship numbers to have fans for the song, unlike Bilal tsk tsk”. I can’t say I was 100% mesmerized with her song, but I do remember her more than June the Girl, which was quite a fan fave but also a disaster from 2018. Oh sorry, I mean, June the Who?
And of course Destination 2019 paved the way for some more exciting plot twists and turns, for example, two of the bigger fan favourites fizzling out in the semis (and I already lowkey discussed them on my other segment, Fanwank Assimilation), and another two lowkey favourites crashing and burning live (one of them sounding like she was drunk and scared, another one being less energetic than her song requires). What did that give out at the end? Why, nothing but a homosexual French-Morrocan social media starlet Bilal Hassani of course. Let’s go ahead and review his entry.
My first impression of this song turned me off a little because of how... poppy bland it sounded. Nothing against Madame Monsieur’s co-crafting (they did make a song I liked for last year’s Eurovision), it’s just that I think that I’m a person that’s looking more into pop songs with expectations full of excitement, but then getting something average at the end. The English lines in this are ‘reasonatable’(?) with though - it’s a self-empowerement against haters, telling to oneself that they’re the “king” (yes Bilal may be wearing wigs a lot but for the last time - HE DOES NOT IDENTIFY AS A SHE) and that they “can see [their] kingdom”.
Though it grew on me overtime, to the very point I couldn’t see anyone taking his way, not even Seemone, not even any other darkhorse of the comp. No. My organism was fully adapted to the fact Bilal will win, so I ended up there lowkey supporting his win, even if I wanted someone else deep inside. (Same for A Dal 2019 but my inner systems refused to bring myself to Joci possibly winning an A Dal again, though they saw it being a likely endgame... just in a different light of events, but more on the Hungarian writeup, buckle up for that one because there’ll be buckets of everything for that one! >:) ) That and Bilal was kind of a runaway choice considering France is huge and the jury in there can’t do shit if the televoting is valuated in stronger numbers than in Melodifestivalen (I mean, look at how many points did he get??? His telescore beat the televote’s runner-up’s one by 87 points!), so if he has that many fans in a big enough country then of course they were gonna flock to him massively, and ain’t no Eurofan can’t object against the French televote numbers like these. Though they might seem too big because last year Madame Monsieur won with 118 as opposed to the artist’s of a song’s they have co-written with him for this DESC 150. And the televote gap between the 1st and the 2nd was much more humble - 29.
Maybe it has had to do it with the fact that it has a pretty damn alright pop melody that doesn’t sound specifically written for an ESC NF (unlike most of stuff that’s been done by Ylva & Linda and the like)? Maybe it has got to do with the golden hands of both Madame Monsieur members (pretty sure it might have just been Jean-Karl) touching upon this track (and some randomer whose name I don’t remember rn and I don’t want to? idk)? Maybe it’s the state of Bilal’s studio voice capabilities that carry this across for me nicely enough? Maybe it’s the persona? Somehow I don’t think I know but I’ll probably choose the first option. This is listenable, yes. Flows through like a normal pop song would. Maybe would have needed some polishing in some places (for that exists an up-and-coming revamp that will only be revealed on rehearsals (youhou Moldova 2014), but actually I only think that it will impact the song in a way that it will now be in F minor rather than F sharp minor?? So that Bilal could avoid being one of those kind of people that did sth like this:
RETWEET IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS PICTURE
Anyways. For all that it is, I savour it, it’s pretty decent, it stands out with its message if you know what it is (a kiss-off of the haters that once doubted this “roi”), I kind of like the way it’s being sung (and that vocal variation at 1:21) and some of the lyrics are not that bad actually, and for the matter of fact, I’d DIE for a possibility to create a song like this at best; I don’t quite know if it can do as well as his fanbase imagines, but I really hope it at least doesn’t do France dirty for choosing its up-and-coming-ish social media icon over the NF acts that I’ll be going off about a little later and brings a savourable result! I cannot remove my like for this song now that the deed is done, period. And I really hope that someday all this outrageousness over Bilal in a bad way will be stopped because poor 19 year old, let him be whatever sexuality he wants to be as of now, let him have his fans, let him wear those wigs, and keep those upcoming TV series about a terrorist man with an intent to blow up Eurovision in Israel (or something like that) at bay. Not to mention, these nasty caricatures. I definitely did not like seeing them. I legit feel like we’re almost talking about Lithuanian situation and what do my country’s citizens think about gay rights and all that (spoiler alert: they’re not friendly towards them). Stop it, get some help.
Oh and I know this is essentially 2,5-ish months late now but can I adress something real quick before finishing off this review and moving down to my chance-o-meters and all? Pretty please?
To all the Nightcore lyric videos of “Roi” that did this and would still do this:
Please consider looking back at the official lyric video for “Roi”, where it says:
and thank me in advance.
Not can’t, can. No wonder he’s a “roi”, ffs. What would be a king who cannot see his kingdom now? I’m sorry but this is just lowkey absurd, ngl.
Anyway:
Approval factor: As of the time I’m finishing this, I sort of approve it for now. The big dilemma though is to where do I rank this big boy - do I think it deserves to go higher than UK or lower? Do I drown it in the bottom 3 just because I had a rather negative first impression for it? God knows. For now though I’ll aprove it and carry on, dreading for the revamp obliterating some of the song’s charm that I had for it, just like maybe for Spain.
Follow-up factor: I think it is quite of a stepdown, considering last year a lot of guys publicly ADORED “Mercy”, and Madame Monsieur didn’t even need to have a huge social media following just to get that far as to win Destination! Bilal, however, did, and most people didn’t even fancy his self-empowerement ‘anthem’. And so did I at first, and eventhough I kind of like it as of now, I still prefer “Mercy” big time. France for the kings of controversial song topics and controversial entrants!
Big 5 factor: at the end of the day, you cannot change the fact that most of the Bilal fans are definitely centered in France (and maybe in some outskirts in Belgium as well) and not around Europe, especially the first time viewers, boo. So Bilal’s memorability levels in there from a Big 5 country will be questionable, unless his massive-ass French fandom decides to mass-emigrate for a week, get some foreign Simcards and start spamming votes for their idol - that’s a guaranteed televote for a guaranteed low jury vote, and if high any-votes are any indicators for where things are heading (like for Poland 2016 for instance), then Bilal will finish decently, but without any high-votes, he’ll be stuck in a low-low, maybe somewhere in the bottom 10. Sorry if you’re reading this, any remaining Bilal fans on Tumblr... you better get ready for your mass emigration for a week then?
NATIONAL FINAL BONUS
Destination’s memes are still glorious to look at, even if it feels like it’s been years since them, considering my social media timeline does not have all that many of them remaining, BUT we still got some highlights from them saved and I can’t wait to freshen up the minds of the mutuals that seemed to have forgotten them. As well as some note-worthy NF songs that the others won’t get the chance to see because only one can represent France and Bilal can’t stand in for any other ones but himself, cuz he is he, and you know he’ll always be. Let’s go:
• Silvàn Areg, probably the biggest underdog-turned-overdog-overnight act of them all out there. Back when his song was still “Le petit Nicolas” (it was changed to “Allez leur dire” thanks to copyright turmoil with some book’s publisher - no it wasn’t about Le petit prince, there ARE Le petit Nicolas stories in there), I don’t think anyone really saw THAT much potential in this song to stand out, maybe except a few select others? I mean who’d even DARE to support this upbeat guitar French-like tune that... has cartooney visuals on stage and that way wows the viewing audience??? NO WAY!!! Yeah these visuals made me truly forget this was one of the songs that didn’t come out in full release yet (as of DESC 2019, only 3 songs weren’t released in full yet, along with The Divaz and Doutson (the latter dragged his kid on stage for his performance BTW, maybe that kid liked Silvàn’s stage illustrations despite maybe not seeing them the way they were supposed to be viewed?) and enjoy the king of popup-book visuals taking it away. So much so I ended up rooting for both visuals AND the song during the final as well (and the final had the colouring book painted!). Don’t you love it when your fave has an impeccable staging AND can nail their performance as well? I sure do... Click to find out his performance serve. I stan men who can sometimes rap out of nowhere when necessary and unexpected.
• Looking for typical French chansons/ballads that make you think of how longsome and melancholic (with a hint of happiness) can things be? Look no further than aforementioned Seemone and her alive-father-ballad, “Tous les deux”. If you’re not here for all this French zany, you can sit back and relax with hearing this piano delight with Adele-ish vocals on top and the paternal gratitude intertwined in the lyrics... well duh, if the constant repetition of “PAPAAAAAA” in the bridge doesn’t give it away for you, an unassumer, then idk what does. Noir, compelling, heart-wrenching, stunning, solid and all that it is. For all the ballad lovers out there. Hope her father’s proud of her achievements (for what did she do is to take the Eurofans by storm against this inevitable Bilal-ness with her feelings-over-fireworks and her strenght to carry out this beauty without crying... in the NF final at least, making International juries side with her more than Bilal, for whom we firstly thought it was over until 150 televotes, even getting the Bjorkdaddy on her side in the semis... only to never win the televoting as hoped to (Bilal was in a different semi so another man won over the girl, while in the final Seemone was 3rd and voted just under another experienced artists and Bilal obviously) and just remain the jury darling) and will hold this song up to himself dearly. We love supportive and thankful children <3
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• This 25 year old chanteuse/violinist Gabriella Laberge, hailing all the way from Canada but with a passionate love to France probably ever since performing in La voix (je t'aime nuit et jour), I mean, The Voice France 2016, dived head-first into the social interraction game, with being all-round positive with her supporters, retweeting their stuff, liking their posts, being in groupchats... she did all she could. And the international jury still let her flop big time. Probably they were too underwhelmed at how engaging her entry, “On cherche encore (Never Get Enough)”, was on the big stage, with Gabriella out there, rocking her yellow pantsuit and dancing on top of a rectangle with other cello-or-contra-bass player madames inside of it and stairs to get on top of that rectangle besides the rectangle. Oh and playing the piano at the beginning. Were they afraid she was gonna fall off the rectangle with her musical ‘gun’ the next time? Was it the show opening that startled her chances (as people are afraid that the same will happen to Srbuk in Eurovision 2019)? I don’t know, but for one that I know is the fact that the poor woman was robbed to the core for all the friendliness she radiated. And the violin lady realness she delivered. Here’s now hoping her strong friendship ties with Olivier Dion will persuade him to fly to France from Canada next for a Destination Eurovision adventure, then? (tbh he’s pretty decent!)
• UH-OH! GIVE A LITTLE RESPECT for The Divaz! Seen by me as a little bit of those girlies that will definitely be drowned in the results because of their... aura and decision of paying a tribute to the late Aretha Franklin, I was shooketh to the core when I saw them NAIL “La voix d’Aretha”... the passion, the drive, the energy, the sass, the style, the dresses, THEM VOCALS! Needless to say I got incredibly sold and even more so happy I was interested in hearing that song all along beforehand, so much I think I tried skipping our own NF over just to see these gurls S-L-A-Y! Hopefully this ain’t the last of them together, they’re a true cool bunch. Happy to see that the international juries saw something in them!
• Emmanuel Moire... now, his song “La promesse” is even more so boring sounding imo and would do less of an impression if people didn’t know the message of it, but the message (and his status in the French music skies), boy does it shine. He sings about making a promise to stay true to himself and not be afraid to admit that his heart beats... FOR A MAN! And where is the Eurofan community that denounces a ballad unless it’s gay?? Some happen to still denounce gay ballads too, but only if it comes to NFs apparently :F I applaud for this song existing tbh as I find it nice myself. Such a shame the man couldn’t really sell his song THAT strong enough though, as I couldn’t help but crack a smile at hearing his falsettos go terribly off, but still feeling sorry for the guy. His staging (that has two men playing around, further going for his song’s memo) and the fact that he beat Seemone in televoting due to his bigger status than the rest of the most other DESC participants this year (save for Chimène Badi which has a status as big as his?). And this one moment that made me feel like I’m looking at Malena Ernman’s true form:
• So how about these few other bedazzling NF flops in a little bit of blitz summary, seemingly as the paragraphs here are already going out of hand? Sure! Allow me to introduce y’all to the shy French Mélovin named Ugo who was tryna get to the spotlight all by himself with a song about... crushing I think (he’s fantasizing of meeting a gal in some interesting interesting ways), but tanked majorly live due to being nervous and letting the pre-recorded backings overwhelm him majorly. Then comes the other up-and-coming chanteuse Florina which I also talked about in the fanwank flops section (though I published it right after Spain’s NF because I had enough of THAT rattling around my drafts... and same goes for the rest of my 2019 reviews!) but I’ll put up a mention for her because I undercooked my thoughts for her. “In the Shadow” - studio god-tier that sadly reeked of “Chandelier” heavily and another NF underperformance that grew condescencing during the rehearsal-snippets period that maybe made people keep their hopes up during it just like for Rykka’s, Jana Burčeska’s and Sennek’s odd pre-party performances. Who knows if Michela would have followed them suit if she was allowed to attend all the pre-parties despite “rehearsals”! In the end we still got a lackluster performance and a total 0 point score from the international juries. Wow. I hope that didn’t scar her for life. Also worth a mention are Battista Acquaviva, the Basque-singing goddess that had some sort of a potential but heavily crushed it by sounding weak and a bit drunk even (or even similar to this) on her own performance + adding some Roman-esque shirtless hunks for no reason (sweetie if they didn’t work for Anggun then what’s the point saving your live with them? Unless you can mask it up like Demy, just leave), and the other studio fave that tanked that was Tracy de Sá who served a French-Spanish (!! that’s where the title came from, you really thought the song was gonna b called “Par ici” noooo) summer bop with her rapping skills on fleek and her desire for “whiskey cocktails rum rum rum” as a cherry on this delightful cocktail has also got really grinded down by her live performance where she was barely even enthusiastic to live up to her own song and maybe have needed some of those liquors she offered on the song to make it sound better. But hey, at least from Tracy we got 1) studio version leak drama that obviously affected the poor sis so hard she raged about it on Instagram a bit; 2) slapping track about parties n stuff for our own summer 2019; 3) her own little version of that notorious song which wouldn’t probably be remembered so fondly in the memedom if not for some mother’s pasta dish; 4) the light tunnel she emerged from at the beginning of the song during her performance, which in reality is just the NF arena exit tunnel; 5) this meme:
Yeah well, good luck at your hairbuns and your hoop-de-hoop ‘rings trying to save you this time
• I was also gonna add this interesting phenomena of “hot violinist guy” because of course I remember this hype being set up for some dudes (especially for THAT violinist. I remember almost everyone suddenly crushing on him but I couldn’t care enough to buy it because lol!) even without their song coming out to public - yes I’m talking of Lautner who obviously also tanked during their live performance of this song but the international juries loved the shit out of it (same for aforementioned Ugo... and mind you I wrote them down as sure NQs after seeing their carcrash performances live! To think they would have almost MADE it thanks to them and SHATTER my predictions???) and their bromance probably lived on... for another 15 minutes
And the ‘drunken auntie’ of someone’s that sang a rather underrated catchy spring-esque sunflowery song but completely ruined it by her awkward jumping around in red suit on stage, PhilipElise, but that’d require me to brief my thoughts upon like nearly all of the damn roster of the irrelevants, so it’s best if I forget all the rest and move on!
• Not to mention, Bilal himself is a highlight. On an occasion he’s such a mood, as demonstrated on this first biggest ESC 2019 NF season meme down here:
And keep in mind, that wasn’t the final. But for the final this happened, which is still as amusing as the first:
Epic hairspin! Laura Rizzotto wishes she remembered this technique just in time to engage some more audience so that they could at least pull her out of the NQ zone.
• Who cannot forget the occasional thought of Garou, the NF’s host, singing. This year he was one of the final’s interval acts, and his choice to sing was because of honouring a Frenchman who passed away not so long before the DESC broadcast. Truly the dedication <3
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• One of those NF cases that had people rallying up against Eurovision being in Tel Aviv and withdrawing the broadcasters from it by their own force because “well fuck you, our feelings and sentiments towards Palestine are more important than this schlager-ridden shitshow musicfest!!” lolno. Some protesters came on stage sometime after Netta’s guest performance during Semifinal 2, and both Garou and the security guards did their best and hardest to chase them away, but some still got on shot because reasons. This is ridiculous (as much as it was when it was found out that some people in Spain were waiting outside RTVE’s headquarters before the OT 2019 ESC Gala just to make THEIR move) and thankfully it didn’t follow on many more NFs to come.
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• oh and also the neon cube argh
Feels like a way larger post than I intended to, and this review is waaaaay long overdue, so at least I tried reminding you of the memes, didn’t I? Anyway, I wish Bilal for all the best in Tel Aviv! xx
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tagged by the lovely @airiat, thank you sm!!❤😊
rules: answer the questions and then tag 20 people
name: hannah
nicknames: i used to go by middle name bc i was like 19, had just moved out of my parents and wanted to reinvent myself. it got too confusing. so now amphitrite, bc on xbox my husband's gamertag is poseidon!
zodiac sign(s): gemini sun and moon, aquarius rising. i'm basically a tornado lmao
gender: female
sexuality: mostly into men, but every once in a while a woman would be attractive so!! idk. what are labels anyway
favorite color: pastel pink (or really any pastel)
time right now: 4:53 am :) third trimester insomnia has been kicking my ass lmao
average hours of sleep: ??? i have no idea like sometimes i'll sleep for a solid two hours, other times I sleep through most of the day
the last thing i googled: temporal lobe psychic. i was reading up on someone talking about the pineal gland, and thought that the temporal lobe was related to psychic powers as well!
number of blankets: 1, it's june in texas. my anemia is gone and i'm sensitive to heat now
favorite fictional character: ??? i have so many lmao mostly anti-heros!!
what are you wearing right now: ... i sleep naked. clothes irritate me and it's too hot 😭
favorite book: the alchemist
favorite musician: it depends on the genre! from rap, it's cardi b. folk, Mumford and sons. pop, taylor swift.
dream job: for now, stay at home mom/wife. i'll start thinking about my career again when my son is old enough to go to school. i really just don't like the idea of leaving him with anyone. ik my parents would love to babysit him, but as long as they have my sister visit, who had really wronged me and done A LOT of very fucked up things last year, i'm not sending him to stay with them. i don't want her anywhere near me or my baby.
number of followers: on my main, 150. on here, 95
when did you create your account: i'm pretty sure it was dec 2018, or January of this year idk
what do you post about: on my main, astrology, personal, spiritual, writing, memes, aesthetics, animals, and social justice things! on here, the elder scrolls; my ocs, aesthetics, shit posts, and my opinions
what made you get an account: so i made this account bc i lost my password to my email for my other one. and i made both of them because: boredom, venting, and where i could express my interests!
when did your blog reach its peak: uhh usually after i post a meme or opinion
do you get asks on a daily basis: not yet! i'm hoping eventually i will. i'm an attention hoe and very much like to debate ideas or talk about ocs
why did you choose your url: i love the concept of aetherium in tes, but obviously i couldn't use it so i added an -ity. idk why. idk what it means but i'm sticking to it lol
tagging: anyone!! just say i tagged you (i don't have enough mutuals on this blog to tag 20, but if you want to play this, tag me in it!!)
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imagine someone just going 1-200 and you have to answer 200 questions for a stranger
well u better strap up becuase im about to do it
200: My crush’s name is: i dunno who do u think my crush’s name is199: I was born in: a year which is 2004198: I am really: a homo sapien197: My cellphone company is: i think its samsung196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 9 or 9.5 i think just 9194: My ring size is: WAIT RINGS HAD SIZES????? i dunno193: My height is: 5′4 ISH but i just say 5′4 because im actually really sensitive about my height and the less than an inch that brings me to 5′4 makes me somewhat happier with myself192: I am allergic to: maybe dustmites 191: My 1st car was: not yet190: My 1st job was: NOT YET189: Last book you read: technically a book called Dad Jokes theyre really funny jokes but if you mean story with plot then probably Grand & Humble unless if you include everything then yesterday i peeked in some books188: My bed is: a bed which i sleep in and that’s pretty much it actually i havent really made my bed in a while 187: My pet: jax and nibsy r the family pets jax is a shih-poo shihtzu poodle mix and nibsy is a cat186: My best friend: my brother185: My favorite shampoo is: shampoo184: Xbox or ps3: hard choice there’s xbox overall and little big planet this is actually a very hard choice lksiiro3jedsklmf,gsda little big planet is great........................183: Piggy banks are: piggy banks. theyre great182: In my pockets: I DONT HAVE POCKETS IM A WOMAN181: On my calendar: whats a calendar lol!!!!180: Marriage is: marriage 179: Spongebob can: dodod od odo dodooo178: My mom: IS GREAT i lov her shes a good mom177: The last three songs I bought were? i dont buy songs i listen to them176: Last YouTube video watched: i mean im listening to boyfriend big time rush on youtube right now but if you mean actual watching its snufkin saying “hi moomin” to moomin a quick 6 second clip175: How many cousins do you have? i duno174: Do you have any siblings? yeah173: Are your parents divorced? yeah172: Are you taller than your mom? probably not :(171: Do you play an instrument? i play the trumpet i did it today and it was really boring i dont want to go to any more graduations not even my own170: What did you do yesterday? things[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: not really but somewhat and i like it because its a fun little thing to put in fiction 168: Luck: yea im very lucky167: Fate: its my destiny to die someday . . .. . in the futuuuuuuuuuuure
166: Yourself: as far as im aware no165: Aliens: yeah probably164: Heaven: i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing163: Hell:i know it probably isnt real but i cant help believing162: God: only to blame them for stuff161: Horoscopes: yea theyre fun to read160: Soul mates: ehehehehehhe fun in fanfiction and would greatly b ok with it irl159: Ghosts: who else would hold my hand at night...... not even a ghost :) (but yea i do believe in them when i grow up i wana be a ghost)158: Gay Marriage: why wouldnt i believe in gay marriage 157: War: what is it good for156: Orbs: borb155: Magic: i like magic so i will believe in it [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: yes153: Drunk or High: probably high i guess152: Phone or Online: ONLINE151: Red heads or Black haired: black haired 150: Blondes or Brunettes: BRUNETTES dude blondes r ok but i personally like darker hair149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: SUMMER I HATE WINTER SO FUCKIGNT OASJKU*($@IRWJKOSDIUOKLJEZUDIFLK:LDSK:LKF:LJIODSKZVDJFKL mostly becuase i hate being cold and i hate snow becuase i have to shovel snow and its so cold147: Autumn or Spring: either one 146: Chocolate or vanilla: choc o late145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: curly but i guess straight is ok142: McDonalds or Burger King: burbger king good milkshakese141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: idk uhh milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: neither......138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich i can just buy surgeries to make me prettier lmao137: Coke or Pepsi: coke136: Hillary or Obama: i dont wanna answer this :(((((( i dont like being bullied135: Burried or cremated: cremated babye put me in the flames ;3c134: Singing or Dancing: i like singing i like dancing i like trains 133: Coach or Chanel: what132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: im just a mere small town babye ;3c big cities sound scary 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target has the good cheeseballs129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: i only know adam sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: i dont do my nails 127: East Coast or West Coast: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh both are coasts126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday i get more gifts then uwu125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney because idk what six flags is isnt it a restaurant or something123: Yankees or Red Sox: a baseball bat [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: what is it good for!121: George Bush: idk 120: Gay Marriage: yeah gay rights119: The presidential election: im not that into politics so i dont understand the elections and i dont think their fair since i get all my facts from adam ruins everything this isnt even a joke118: Abortion: pro choice i dont giv a crap about some lifeless baby. its only alive if it can properly move its arms or cry or feel.117: MySpace: haha dead116: Reality TV: idk 115: Parents: theyre parents 114: Back stabbers: ow my back113: Ebay: website.... money112: Facebook: lizard man111: Work: what110: My Neighbors: idk who they are but my old neighbor was one of my best friends i should talk to him this summer109: Gas Prices: probably too high108: Designer Clothes: clothes107: College: something i dont plan on going to any time soon106: Sports: something i dont plan on doing any time soon105: My family: a family104: The future: spooky. very scary. idk what my job will be[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: idk (update it was today)102: Last time you ate: 4:13 ish i made ramne101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i duno100: Cried in front of someone: today i suppose i almost cried???? maybe my dentist appointment a few weeks ago??99: Went to a movie theater: lego movie 2 i think98: Took a vacation: 6th grade im in 9th grade now its been like 3 years97: Swam in a pool: over 1 year i dont go to the pool anymore96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND I NEVER PLAN ON IT95: Got my nails done: i duno94: Went to a wedding: i also dunno its been too long93: Broke a bone: not that i can recal92: Got a peircing: never and never will91: Broke the law: i duno90: Texted: just now i told my mommy to pick me up it wasl ike 1 hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: me88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my momy and nibsy and jax and probably zach but he’d already move out by the time i leave87: The last movie I saw: i dont remember probably lego movie 2 or osmething on tv86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: next year drama club85: The thing im not looking forward to: dying?????? idk man 84: People call me: moto moto (not really idk what they call me)83: The most difficult thing to do is: the most difficult thing82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never though i probs will someday81: My zodiac sign is: aquarius sun leo moon aries rising80: The first person i talked to today was: probably kiley79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten i think78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: nobody 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: *has a crisis over my future plans as i do not know*74: I have/will get a job: im gona work at target or burger king next year maybe it depends on if they like me73: Tomorrow: 5/20..............72: Today: today71: Next Summer: in a theater near u70: Next Weekend: my first summer weekend 69: I have these pets: I ALREAD YSAID WHAT PETS I HAVE I LOVE NIBSY WITH ALL MY HEART and jax with some extra parts of my heart68: The worst sound in the world: a sound67: The person that makes me cry the most is: me66: People that make you happy: me65: Last time I cried: ealier today64: My friends are: online63: My computer is: on62: My School: is a school61: My Car: nonexistent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are really mean and seem to hate people for being happy. people who make jokes that make me uncomfortable. i generally avoid them.59: The movie I cried at was: all of them58: Your hair color is: brown57: TV shows you watch: idk56: Favorite web site: idk probs youtube55: Your dream vacation: nowhere 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: A FEW WEEKS AGO I GOT STITCHES IN MY MOUTH AND IT REALLY HURT UGHGTUERIJOKFLDc53: How do you like your steak cooked: edible52: My room is: a room51: My favorite celebrity is: myslef..... just kidding idk any celebs 50: Where would you like to be: where i am 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: hoo ha hoo ha i duno how love feels exactly47: Who’s your best friend: MY BROTHER46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys i think 99% of my friends are my brothers friends so45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being happy44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody right now but sometimes kiley43: Do you have a 5 year plan: 5 years??? haha no i only plan on using savings accounts to make a bit more money and MAYBE moving to kiley but idk for sure since i like my parents and my brother and my parents plan on driving around in an rv but idk man moving to another state would be HARD and im kinda lazy and i’d have to get a whole new driver’s license 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: lmao all my ideas are jokes40: Last person I got mad at: probably myslef39: I would like to move to: my bed???????38: I wish I was a professional: personer. talker. socialer. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: probably snickers or a salted nut roll36: Vehicle: big car. tahoe shape. tahoe size. idk. something like a tahoe thats my only reference35: President: I Don’t Care34: State visited: probably florida its the only one of 3 states i’ve been to33: Cellphone provider: what32: Athlete: WHAT31: Actor: idk 30: Actress: idk29: Singer: not me? me? idk28: Band: taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hall??? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? I DONT KNOWIJ DSKJZLFKSJKLDSHDLfjklskl;fdkl;sfk;laf 27: Clothing store: i legit have like no faves god this is the hardest part26: Grocery store: target probably25: TV show: maybe the simpsons???24: Movie: idk ive seen a lot of movies23: Website: one of them22: Animal: one of them21: Theme park: universal studios20: Holiday: none of them theyre all ok but ??? meh19: Sport to watch: none.18: Sport to play: idk i dont like being competitive but??????? gym class is a fun sport! :)17: Magazine: none of them16: Book: one of them15: Day of the week: wednesday sounds like a good day. maybe sundays. 14: Beach: what13: Concert attended: frankly the only concerts i’ve been to are my own12: Thing to cook: probably ramen11: Food: cheeseballs??????? burger king milkshake, a drink?10: Restaurant: buuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrger kiiiiiiiiiiing?9: Radio station: 101.9 kelo eff emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm8: Yankee candle scent: what7: Perfume: what6: Flower: what5: Color: red or purple4: Talk show host: wha
3: Comedian: i duno2: Dog breed: one of them1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yeah i tried but i kinda gave up slightly after i came back from a graduation party though i also kind of gave up from the start so
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Get to know me pt. idk
200: My crush’s name is: brantdypoo 199: I was born in: us 198: I am really: quiet 197: My cellphone company is: tmoblie 196: My eye color is: brown 195: My shoe size is: 7ish 194: My ring size is: idk 193: My height is: 5′2 192: I am allergic to: eggs 191: My 1st car was: subaru 190: My 1st job was: working with kids 189: Last book you read: a million little pieces 188: My bed is: medium 187: My pet: dog 186: My best friend: 3 people 185: My favorite shampoo is: the one from costco 184: Xbox or ps3: ps4 183: Piggy banks are: ok 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: days i work and finals 180: Marriage is: whatever 179: Spongebob can: laugh 178: My mom: is cool 177: The last three songs I bought were? movements 176: Last YouTube video watched: patd live at reading and leeds festival 175: How many cousins do you have? too many 174: Do you have any siblings? 1 173: Are your parents divorced? hA 172: Are you taller than your mom? no 171: Do you play an instrument? i can 170: What did you do yesterday? @ my bbb [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: idk 168: Luck: eh 167: Fate: ye 166: Yourself: no 165: Aliens: probably 164: Heaven: idk 163: Hell: idk 162: God: idk 161: Horoscopes: no 160: Soul mates: maybe 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: sure 157: War: no 156: Orbs: huh 155: Magic: no [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brown 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: sumemr 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: orange 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcd 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heels: flioops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: coach 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: hands 127: East Coast or West Coast: east 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: who cares [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: it dumb 121: George Bush: which 120: Gay Marriage: it okay 119: The presidential election: ugh 118: Abortion: it okay 117: MySpace: idk 116: Reality TV: it whack 115: Parents: mine suck rn 114: Back stabbers: you dumb 113: Ebay: it okay 112: Facebook: it okay 111: Work: i complain a lot but its actualy good 110: My Neighbors: they okay 109: Gas Prices: they high now 108: Designer Clothes: eh 107: College: its alright 106: Sports: they alright 105: My family: broken rn 104: The future: im scared [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: yesterday 102: Last time you ate: 30 min ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today 100: Cried in front of someone: a week ago 99: Went to a movie theater: almost two weeks ago 98: Took a vacation: two weeks ago 97: Swam in a pool: the winter 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: looong time ago 94: Went to a wedding: friday before last 93: Broke a bone: never? 92: Got a peircing: when i was 2 months old 91: Broke the law: a few days ago 90: Texted: rn [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friends 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and bed 87: The last movie I saw: it may have been la llorona 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: school ending and going to nyc and doing stuff 85: The thing im not looking forward to: my dad moving out 84: People call me: nani 83: The most difficult thing to do is: ask 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no 81: My zodiac sign is: virgo 80: The first person i talked to today was: my grandpa 79: First time you had a crush: prob kindergarten or something 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: certain person 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: today 76: Right now I am talking to: bbb 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i dont know 74: I have/will get a job:? 73: Tomorrow: i have a final 72: Today: i had a final 71: Next Summer: im going to ny 70: Next Weekend: idk what im doing 69: I have these pets: dog and fish 68: The worst sound in the world: screaming 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk 66: People that make you happy: my friends and fmaily kinda 65: Last time I cried: a bit ago idk 64: My friends are: cool 63: My computer is: nice 62: My School: alright 61: My Car: cute 60: I lose all respect for people who: believe dumb things 59: The movie I cried at was: i dont remmeber 58: Your hair color is: brown 57: TV shows you watch: non rn 56: Favorite web site: pornhub 55: Your dream vacation: all of europe 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: golf ball sized blister on my foot while having a shoe on it 53: How do you like your steak cooked: yes
52: My room is: messy
51: My favorite celebrity is: kaya 50: Where would you like to be: in a good place 49: Do you want children: porbably 48: Ever been in love: i think so 47: Who’s your best friend: 46: More guy friends or girl friends: 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: bbb 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: dad 39: I would like to move to: washington 38: I wish I was a professional: [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: reeses 36: Vehicle: subaru 35: President: obama 34: State visited: washingotn 33: Cellphone provider: idk 32: Athlete: uj 31: Actor: evan peters 30: Actress: kaya 29: Singer: sky 28: Band: movements 27: Clothing store: hm 26: Grocery store: king soopers 25: TV show: twd 24: Movie: not sure 23: Website: 22: Animal: fox 21: Theme park: universal florida 20: Holiday: 19: Sport to watch: 18: Sport to play: 17: Magazine: 16: Book: 15: Day of the week: 14: Beach: 13: Concert attended: 12: Thing to cook: 11: Food: 10: Restaurant: 9: Radio station: 8: Yankee candle scent: 7: Perfume: 6: Flower: 5: Color: 4: Talk show host: 3: Comedian: 2: Dog breed: 1: Did you answer all these truthfully?
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wtf is Nephelai
aight so if you’ve been following me for a bit you probably have Noticed me posting about the Thing I am writing which is called Nephelai.
so I thought I’d give a lil primer on it just for uhhh fun? I guess?
anyways. if you want it in a sentence its ‘gays out-science the competition’
if you want a little bit More info than that 4-5 word (depending on ur opinions on hyphens) blurb, here u go. I will put her under the cut so it does not clutter up the dashes of anyone who isn’t into this kinda thing. I am shit at brevity so this in itself is kinda long.
Just as far as vague genre/feeling stuff goes, it’s a sci fi and it kinda combines adventure with slice of life? Idk man. Its very much character based and a lot of it is dialogue. If you’re looking for pretty, poetic writing you’re not gonna find it here, I tend to just get to the point lol. It deals with some pretty heavy/dark stuff but I will tell you upfront that the ending is happy. There’s too many dark edgy books that end sad. Plus we don’t have enough gay stories that end well. It’s also quite R rated, though more in the violence/sweary way than the sexy way.
Given that it does deal with some Rough Shit (child abuse, racism, depression, etc.) I have a list of all the chapters and their possible triggers here. (its at the bottom of the post) I just put in general things but if you have a specific/more obscure trigger I would be happy to inform you if/where it shows up.
Also, just so you know, this fucker is Long. its at 180+K and I still haven’t gotten all the chapters out yet. As well as that, this is essentially a first draft. I know its slow to start and choppy in some places but currently Im just trying to get it out, and uploading the chapters as I go gives me incentive to do that, cause otherwise I’d never even get the first draft done. Basically I write a chapter, check for spelling and grammar mistakes, miss most of them because grammar is my kryptonite, then upload it. I will be editing it a Lot in the future.
anyways.
Setting
The story is set in our universe in The Future. How far in the future? don’t ask because I don’t know. I don’t want a 2001 space odyssey situation. A lot of the technological advancements would take wildly different times to achieve so I don’t want to put a number on it especially because we are very bad at predicting how fast things will advance. It is at Least 150 years I’d say.
Humans have moved on from earth and colonized new planets. They’re still on earth, it’s just that they’re also in other places. Namely Mars and proxima centauri B which has been renamed Salus to keep up with the whole roman god thing (she’s the goddess of safety). Both planets have colonies from multiple different countries. Not all countries, I mean lets be real lichtenstein isn’t colonizing mars anytime soon. The two american colonies on both planets are Lincoln (Mars) and Roosevelt (Salus). The way that people travel between these planets which are v far away is through electromagnetic radiation powered engines and the use of man made wormholes. Let’s ignore relativity and pretend that when you get close to the speed of light your timeline Doesn’t slow down because I don’t want to deal with that.
However, those planets are not where most of the book takes place. The main planet they are on is Nephelai (shocker I know.) It is a planet with a small research colony on it. Before the colony was put in place, it was a barren planet with some water that was in the zone for life, and just didn’t have any. They terraformed the fuck out of it so the atmosphere is the same as earths then installed a Beyersdorf around it. A beyersdorf is basically a time machine. Anything inside it will have it’s timeline sped up. Uses some black hole jiggery pokery I don’t want to explain because it would be... impossible. Anyways, they placed some organic molecules on it and sped it up until life evolved then slowed it back down to normal time to go in and observe. It has tall mountains and a surface that is so hot that water boils. So all of the life lives up in the clouds around the peaks. Most of it is adapted for life in the air. Such as: giant borzois with wings and living blimps that are basically guppies. Its very cold and people have to have specialized gear to go outside.
Plot
I don’t want to go too much into the plot because... thats why you Read books, but I’ll give my best summary. Basically the main character, Nadia, is getting her masters in evolutionary biology and has to do a year long research project. She goes with her professor, Brenley, to Nephelai to do the project. While there, the planet is invaded by uhhhh neo nazis (whoops) and they basically create a hostage situation that is very hard to get out of in order to get the third main, Krupin, a celebrity trash man, to work for them and make some very dangerous biological weapons that his company’s products would be able to produce. Obviously they don’t want this to happen so they have to come up with a plan to escape. However a lot of what happens is more based around the emotional toll it takes to be trapped for so long with no contact to the outside world and the uncertainty of whether they’re gonna make it out or not.
Characters
Alright so now the characters. As I said, this is very much character based. So its more about their interactions than anything else really. Again, lotta dialogue.
Nadia Waters
She is as said before, the main character. A 23 year old dork who is a complete nerd (they all are). She is bi and also a bit of a disaster, naturally. Quite smart but doesn’t think she is, very loyal to the friends she has, and can be a bit shy at first. She is also stupidly brave to the point where its a problem. Her need for adrenaline is Real and she does very stupid things to get it. She describes herself at one point as “just a grad student with a very poor sense of self preservation.” While she doesn’t go looking for fights she will definitely stand up for herself and others and throw down against people who could very easily kill her.
Elias Brenley
Nadia’s professor, also a dork, also a nerd. A lanky french weirdo with an obsession for physics and a love for 80s music. Very spontaneous and doesn’t give a shit about embarrassing himself. He has aspergers and even though he is very smart and can do some savant-like tricks, that isn’t the only aspect of his personality (what a novel idea...) He Also isn’t just a ‘robot’, he cares a lot about others, especially those who don’t mind his quirks. Also I took the expected subplot of ‘male professor gets with female student’ and threw it in the garbage where it belongs cause he’s gay as hell. He and Nadia do become very close but it is 100% platonic
Feliks Krupin
Also a nerd, also gay (seeing a pattern?). He is pretty much a public figure as he owns one of the biggest biotech companies out there, Vozmet. Kinda like if you took elon musk and removed the asshole-ness. Annoyingly perfect in every way, charming, pretty, v smart, all those. Struggles with a good amount of mental stuff that most of the world doesn’t know about and came from a pretty shitty background. Him and Brenley have some History though at the beginning of the story they haven’t seen each other in 9 years. Tends to be noble to a fault and will sacrifice himself for basically anyone.
Some other characters who aren’t the main three:
Kristina: The president of Vozmet to Krupin’s CEO and his best friend. About five foot nothing and has the appropriate amount of concentrated rage. She’s not mean, she just doesn’t let anyone push her around and knows how to get what she wants.
Heidi: One of the only sane ones. Was determined by others to be the leader of the hostages so to speak and has Way too much on her plate. Is often the one voice of sanity or the one to actually get the others to stay on task
James: Drinks that respect women juice all day every day. Very nice. Doesn’t deserve this situation. Has a bit of a thing for Nadia.
Scott: Is the other only sane one along with Heidi. The doctor of the group who almost acts as a father figure to all of them even though he’s not That much older than some of them.
Saoirse: Dumb irish lesbian. ‘Nuff said.
Links
so if you like the sound of any of that you can find it on
fictionpress: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
or AO3 here
if u took the time to read this massive post, and/or read some, I luv u. *mwah*
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