#its a 12 hour audio book and I love it so much

[tiredinwinter]

The bumble guy I'm talking to asked me what audio book I'm listening to.

Now we will find out how he takes the news that it's a fanfiction Audio book lolololol

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

February 2024 Reading Wrap Up

The Calendar

Unfortunately I sadly had to break my 405 reading streak as I have been terribly ill with presumably the 100 day cough. I was just too tired and ill to do anything. I'm on the mend but unfortunately February's reading ended on a low because of this.

Finally finished Will which was such a relief. I was worried it was gonna clog up February but thanks to a unexpected a + e trip I luckily got to finish it quicker. Its a very good memoir but it tried to balance being a self help and account of Will Smiths life and as a result made it very overwhelming. Might Reread this again in the future but we shall see.

Still as of this post Reading through Black Spire but I hope I'll be able to finish it in March, we shall see. Its not a perfect story and really confusing without reading Phasma but still pretty decent especially on the world building. Fazbear Frights 4 is easily the best novel out of the bunch I have read. It focuses on the themes of Family and Fixing Past Mistakes but still expands and keeps to the og lore. Coming Home is the best out of the three short stories.

Man so far I'm loving the 8th Doctor Adventures and agree it was absolutely necessary to jump into Big Finish through this series due to the similar style to New Who. I hope the 2 hour stories are as good. Just purchased Dark Eyes 1 and Out Of Time 1 this month and excited to build up an exciting Big Finish catalogue to listen too. Horror Of Glamrock was a very unique and interesting story as well as incoperating rock music in a fun way. It makes me excited to see what other fun new ideas Big Finish have done with their stories. Miss Bernard Cribbins and it was nice to hear him on audio again. Immortal Beloved used Greek Mythology in a fun way and is definitely one of the best Big Finish audios I have listened to so far. It debated the ethics of cloning and appealed to older Whovians in a brilliant way. Paul MacGann was excellent in this and I feel like this audio allowed him to really develop the complexity of his character. No matter the audio length I vow to devour Big Finish in one day.

I think that this month was so crammed full of books due to how many shorter 200+ books I read. It took about 7 days too read the incredible Doctor Who novel, The Way Through The Woods and Different Not Less, 12. Both absolutely fantastic like I mentioned. I knew Different Not Less would hit hard but I didn't realise just how hard.

Overall a good reading calender that will hopefully improve in March now that I'm feeling a lot better.

February's Stats

Looks so much better than my January Stats layout that I did. Credits to LeeBee Reads as her templates are so much better for showing off Storygraph Stats. Wish I'd shrunk things down a bit but apart from that all good. With that being said let's break down the Stats from left to right.

So in February I read and listened to in total 6 books. 4 Books and Two Audio Dramas. Pages wise I managed to read 1,123 which is 168 pages up from February 2023. An absolute huge improvement which I'm proud of myself for. Then I listened to 2.27 hours between both Big Finish Stories I delved into. Nevermind 2023, February compared to January this year was alot better despite falling off at the end. I'm excited to see what March will bring me in terms of pages and listening hours.

In terms of Genre, Science Fiction absolutely devoured once again but that can be expected considering how much Big Finish I've been listening too. Whilst Young Adult dominated last year, I definitely think Science Fiction is gonna be the winning genre of 2024. In second place was of course Memoir as I managed to finish Will and Different Not Less. Two very informative and life changing memoirs. But with Science Fiction, Memoir, Video Games, Young Adult, Self Help And Horror. February sure was an interesting month when it came to genres.

My profile has not changed much at all. As much as I have started to branch out and look at more Non-Fiction Recs unfortunately my profile will remain mainly reads Fiction. Like I've tracked and compared to Fiction I only have 80 Non-Fiction on it so yeah. My most popular moods are Adventurous, Dark and Mysterious which is again definitely not changing anytime soon but we shall see. I definitely need to balance my Dark and Lighthearted moods better as much as I would love to claw into exclusively dark books. And again I will try to get myself into longer and more faster paced or slow paced books but unlikely to change.

Onto moods, no second place this time as three moods impressively decided to tie. Those moods were as followed; Mysterious, Informative And Funny. Not suprised there as literally most of my reading in February was mutiple genres and types. Ignoring my audio listens it was literally half and half between fiction and nonfiction material so I'm not shocked at their being no winning mood this time round. Will definitely not be the case in March though I'm sure of it.

Finally we have Star Ratings. Thankfully no books went below 3 stars as wether it due to enjoyment or of a good quality nothing this month had mostly slaps. Three Five Stars in one month is very impressive, than again Last Year was the same when I got to experience the wonderful Loveless and Leia Princess Of Alderaan back to back. February tends to be a good month for me which is a huge trend I've noticed. A 4.58 average rating is really good and makes me excited for what March might bring.

Good stats and a fabulous template to use.

Finished February Reads/Listens

Again I can't help find myself smirking at the fact that the month with more books read and listened to is the shortest month of the year.

February was really good and I'm hoping it only gets better from here. Will was a really good memoir and whilst I don't agree with his political views 🍉, I do recommend borrowing this from the library as it has a lot of valuable life lessons and lots of Will Smiths character. Probably gonna borrow it off my brother again in the far future. Just to see how I feel about it with a reread.

I'll include them together but I'm absolutely in love with what Big Finish has to offer and have a future wishlist ready for when my wallet can afford it. Horror Of Glamrock and Immortal Beloved were very entertaining and creative stories that I've never really seen Doctor Who do before. I'm very much going to dive more into the format and might even try some of the BBC audio novels. I've also gone to really care about the 8th Doctor and Paul MacGanns portyal. Gonna try get some reviews out soon and highlight more of the ones that are avaliable for free on Spotify.

From Audio to Physical. I finally managed to pick up my first 11th Doctor adventure and it was absolutely fabulous. The Way Through The Woods is such a well built up mystery that pays off super well and doesn't go too out there. Una McCormack knows how to write Amy, Rory And The Doctor and they all get their moments to shine. It was also super fun and wild and the location was perfectly eerie. Absolutely worthy of five stars and one novel I'd highly recommend to other whovians. Up next for Doctor Who books I'll be re-reading Prisoner Of The Daleks and exploring the 9th Doctor adventure The Deviant Strain.

Different Not Less is another amazing memoir that hugely hit hard and deep. As a newly diagnosed Autistic person back in March 2023, I knew that this was absolutely one of the first books that I had to pick up. Hearing Chloés story really gave me a lot of comfort and hope I didn't know I need. She also perfectly balances out her two reader audiences of Neurotypical readers wanting to learn and Neurodivergent people wanting to understand there self. Fabulous book that I will be rereading without a doubt in the future. Completely recommend this wether Neurotypical or Neurodivergent.

Fazbear Frights: Step Closer, was absolutely the best out of the four books I read. It still had a lot of faults don't get me wrong but it was so much better than the other three. If the Epilogues didn't exist this is the one I'd recommend out of all of them. Coming Home was the best out of the three stories in the book, it made me super emotional and I almost cried. It had a twist I was not expecting and incoperated some of the og lore in such a brilliant way. I'm honestly happy to end there as I am not willing to force myself through all Twelve of these when not all the stories are good. Eventually I plan to read the first few Tales books and we'll have to see what they are like in comparisant.

Conclusion

Overall a very fun reading month jam-packed with absolutely fabulous content that I'd recommend. I'm excited to see how March will compare and what it will bring.

If you want to check out my full reviews of all of these books mentioned you can find me on Storygraph and Good Reads.

Storygraph: melsage1823

Good Reads: Melody Soundy

That's it for now, I'll pop back in April for an update about March.

-Melody-

They/Them

[productsreviewings]

At the moment's Greatest Lenovo Tab M10 Plus (third Gen) OffersThe Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 (beginning at $189) is a no-frills, 10-inch Android pill for folks on a funds. It is a well-built slate with superb battery life and nice cameras. Sadly, its mediocre efficiency is disappointing. However in the event you're on the lookout for a reasonable pill for watching streaming content material and studying books, this machine serves that objective.Compared One of the best Android pill, the Tab M10 Plus is smaller. However total, it is a fairly good slate, particularly for youths or these on the lookout for one thing extra reasonably priced than an iPad. Listed here are the professionals and cons of my full Lenovo Tab M10 Plus overview.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: SpecsSwipe to scroll horizontallyHeader Cell - Column 0 Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 (Launching)Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 (Examined)the value$189$210CPUMediaTek Helio G80MediaTek Helio G80ram3GB4 GBshow10.6-inch 2K (2000 x 1200)10.6-inch 2K (2000 x 1200)storage32 GB64GBportUSB-C (1x), headphone jackUSB-C (1x), headphone jackbattery lifeAs much as 14 hours (rated)14:09dimension6.25 x 9.89 x 0.296.25 x 9.89 x 0.29weight1.03 lbs1.03 lbsLenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: Worth and ConfigurationBeginning at $189$210 for the high-end mannequinLenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 begins at $189 Lenovo web site (opens in new tab). This mannequin has a ten.6-inch 2K (2000 x 1200) show, a MediaTek Helio G80 CPU, 3GB of RAM and 32GB of storage. Android 12 is put in on the pill.For $210, you may get the Tab M10 Plus with 4GB of RAM and 64GB of storage. That is the mannequin we examined and reviewed.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: DesignSkinny and light-weightIs available in two coloursThe Tab M10 Plus is a good pill with a chic aluminum-alloy unibody design with a dual-tone end. It is available in Storm Grey or Frost Blue colours. I want the Storm Grey shade on our overview unit, though the Frost Blue appears to be like attention-grabbing too. Regardless of its slim profile, it is a sturdy slate.The Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 weighs a bit of over a pound and is straightforward to carry for lengthy intervals of time. (Picture credit score: Tom's Information)The pill has a profile of 6.25 x 9.89 x 0.29 inches and weighs 1.03 kilos. As a result of it is so mild, the Tab M10 is snug to carry for lengthy intervals of time. This makes the slate a free journey machine. For comparability, ninth technology iPad Weight 1.07 lbs. The M10 Plus has an influence button on the prime together with two quantity buttons and a microSD slot on the correct. Quad audio system adorn the highest and backside. You will discover the entrance digicam midway down the left facet, which places it within the prime heart whenever you rotate the pill into panorama mode.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: ShowSharp picture high qualityNice for watching movies and studyingThe Tab M10 Plus' 10.6-inch display screen is an satisfactory canvas for watching movies from websites like YouTube TV and Netflix. The 2000 x 1200 decision additionally ensures sharp image high quality.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 is nice for watching movies on the go. (Picture credit score: Tom's Information)The trailer for Apple TV's Ghosted seemed spectacular on the Tab M10. Lots of scenes are occurring at night time however I had no drawback distinguishing what was occurring on the display screen. When motion is chosen, the 60Hz refresh charge is maintained with all quick cuts.I loved studying comics from the DC Universe Infinite app on the Tab M10 Plus. An precise comedian ebook web page is bigger than this pill, however the measurement of the show ensured that I used to be in a position to clearly learn textual content and make out minute particulars in drawings. The Tab M10 Plus can also be nice for studying e-books from apps like Kindle.Digital comics look nice on the Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3. (Picture credit score:

Tom's Information)The Tab M10 Plus delivered a median brightness of 373 nits on the panel once we introduced it to our testing lab and pointed our gadgets at it. That is decrease than Lenovo's marketed 400 nits however nonetheless fairly good for a pill on this worth vary, on par with the $174 Nokia T20 (374 nits) however not as shiny because the $149 Amazon Fireplace HD 10 (420 nits).Swipe to scroll horizontallyHeader Cell - Column 0 Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3Amazon Fireplace HD 10 (2021)Nokia T20nits (brightness)373420374sRGB112.3%106%90.9%DCI-P379.4%75.5%64.4%Delta-E0.220.370.39By way of shade, the Tab M10 Plus' show covers 112.2% of the sRGB shade gamut and 79.4% of the extra demanding DCI-P3 shade house (nearer to 100% finest). The Fireplace HD 10 (106% / 75.5%) delivered comparable outcomes, whereas the Nokia T20 (90.9% / 64.4%) didn't fare nicely in these respective checks.After we measured the display screen's Delta-E worth, the place decrease numbers point out a extra color-accurate show, the Tab M10 Plus scored 0.22. That is higher than Fireplace HD 10 (0.37) and Nokia T20 (0.39).In our lab checks, we're evaluating the 2023 Lenovo Tab M10 Plus to the 2021 pill as a result of the Tab M10 Plus is powered by a MediaTek Helio G80 CPU, an older chip that debuted in smartphones in 2020. So, it's akin to older tablets. Though launched after a few years.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: AudioClear, loud audioNice for video and musicThe Tab M10 Plus' audio system ship nice sound whereas watching movies or listening to podcasts. Even with the quantity cranked as much as max whereas watching the aforementioned Ghosted video, every part got here via crystal clear, with no distortion or different audio hiccups.I fired up Iron Maiden's "Run for the Hills" to check how the audio system dealt with music and was pleasantly stunned. Though there wasn't as a lot bass as I might have preferred, vocals and devices sounded first rate. However if you're not pleased with the audio high quality, you should use the headphone jack Greatest headphones Or use Bluetooth to make a connection Greatest wi-fi earbuds. Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: EfficiencyMiddling efficiencySlower than older, cheaper tabletsThe Tab M10 Plus is a strong little machine for watching movies and studying. Nevertheless, its MediaTek Helio G80 CPU and 4GB of RAM (in the event you splurge for the high-end mannequin) do not provide nice efficiency. Actually, they go away loads to be desired.Throughout my testing, I discovered the pill's efficiency sluggish when opening apps. There was all the time a small delay between once I tapped on an app and it booted up. This was additionally true once I used apps. For instance, flipping comedian ebook pages within the DC Universe Infinite app took too lengthy iPad Air 2023 or Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Extremely. Clearly, they're much costlier, so the efficiency distinction is considerably significant. Swipe to scroll horizontallyGeekbench 5 outcomesHeader Cell - Column 0 single coreMulti-coreLenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 33481,234Amazon Fireplace HD 101,4946,300Nokia T203471,248In Geekbench 5.4, which checks total CPU pace, the Tab M10 Plus did not rating nice. The pill scored 348 within the single-core check and 1,234 within the multi-core. These outcomes are virtually similar to the Nokia T20, which scored 347 in single-core and 1,248 in multi-core. Nevertheless, Amazon's cheaper Fireplace HD 10 Tab outperformed the M10 Plus in each checks (1,494 and 6,300 respectively), regardless of being virtually two years older.Swipe to scroll horizontally3D markHeader Cell - Column 0 Wildlife Unique LimitlessWildlife Excessive LimitlessLenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3682 / 4.10 fps172 / 1 fpsAmazon Fireplace HD 10N/AN/ANokia T20519 / 3.10 fps132 / 0.88 fpsThe Tab M10 Plus scored 682 and hit 4 frames per second on the 3D Mark Wildlife Limitless check, which measures graphics efficiency. That is higher than the Nokia T20, which scored 519 and hit 3 frames per second - nevertheless it's unhappy regardless.

A contemporary sport like Genshin Influence froze dozens of occasions through the intro once I examined it. This pill shouldn't be designed for taking part in graphically-demanding video games. Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: Digital cameraTab M10 Plus' 8MP entrance and rear cameras are amongst its finest options. Every delivers strong picture high quality, capturing pictures and video with good shade accuracy, and each key element stays in focus. I used the front-facing digicam to snap the picture beneath and located it did a terrific job of capturing my options, in addition to subtly blurring the background.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus's 8MP entrance digicam does an excellent job of capturing background and foreground particulars. (Picture credit score: Tom's Information)The rear digicam is equally sharp. Totally different objects are straightforward to separate in our testing lab. I am not a fan of utilizing a pill to take images, however in the event you're so inclined, you may be happy with the general picture high quality.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus's 8MP rear digicam is pretty much as good as its entrance digicam. (Picture credit score: Tom's Information)Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: Battery Life and Charging14 hours of battery lifeLengthy charging occasionsThe most important energy of this pill is its spectacular battery life. Actually, it has managed to last more than its closest rivals.Swipe to scroll horizontallybattery lifeHeader Cell - Column 0 time (hours: minutes)Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 314:09Amazon Fireplace HD 1013:45Nokia T2014:04iPad 202310:57iPad Professional 202310:39Within the Tom's Information battery check, which entails steady internet browsing at 150 nits of display screen brightness, the Tab M10 Plus lasted 14 hours and 9 minutes. It edges out the Nokia T20 (14:04) and outlasts the Amazon Fireplace HD 10 (13:45).Charging time shouldn't be precisely quick. In our checks, the Tab M10 Plus took quarter-hour to cost to 9% and half-hour to succeed in 16% battery capability. These outcomes are akin to the Fireplace HD 10 however much better than the Nokia T20, which took half-hour to cost to six%.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: Software programRuns Android 12A lot of pre-installed appsThe Tab M10 Plus comes with Android 12 pre-installed. For those who're used to Android, you may know what to anticipate. To be taught extra, learn our full Android 12 Evaluation.like Lenovo Yoga Tab 11, this pill comes with Google Leisure House pre-installed. It is simply accessible from the house display screen and collects a group of your most used apps in a single place — together with streaming companies, motion pictures, podcasts, TV reveals, books and extra. This can be a helpful characteristic for many who need fast entry to their favourite apps.Many apps come pre-installed on the pill, together with video games like Swing Man and apps just like the Opera browser. One of these bloatware is definitely eliminated if you do not need it, nevertheless it's unlucky that it comes pre-installed.Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 Evaluation: VerdictThe Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 is a funds Android pill that provides middling efficiency at a good worth. Low cost tablets like these are nice for youths and budget-minded consumers. Regardless of the stellar efficiency and lack of standout options, the Lenovo Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 is right for individuals who primarily watch streaming movies or learn e-books — particularly if you would like lengthy battery life.For those who're on the lookout for another, the Amazon Fireplace HD 10 not solely gives higher efficiency and almost as a lot battery life, nevertheless it prices $40 to $60 lower than Lenovo's slate. Nevertheless, you are caught working inside Amazon's FireOS working system, which is extra restricted than pure Android. If you would like extra choices, take a look at our information Greatest low cost tablets.Conversely, in the event you like Apple merchandise, then iPad 2021 A tricky selection.

Positive, it's kind of lengthy within the tooth at this level, nevertheless it nonetheless outsells the Tab M10 Plus Gen 3 by a good margin and is now recurrently discounted to $269 or much less.

[atalana]

[copied over from my cr blog, also this is gonna get long, i’d apologise but im not sorry]

okay, so

this is a rant probably about 7 years in the making, bc when i first watched lok i had not done any music study, i had not done any composing of my own, my knowledge of music theory was at a primary school level and i still thought tv soundtracks were just made by one person composing a whole cache of music and then the audio editors pick and choose what track to place where

(spoiler alert that’s not how film and tv scoring works, i have now done a music composition course where we had to score a short film, among other things, and i have so much more respect for tv composers jesus christ)

but this one stuck out to me even way back then, bc me barely knowing what a leitmotif was was like “hey this one little refrain keeps popping up whenever bolin does lavabending, and i like it, i’m gonna see if it’s on the soundtrack”

it was not, and that’s sort of where i left it back in 2014, but i actually did a rewatch of lok pretty recently out of nostalgia, and then noticed it even more

and to explain why (and this is also a little bit why five’s stuck out to me in tua, i’ll get to that in another ask), let’s cover, leitmotifs, and tv scoring in general

so a leitmotif is basically just a short musical idea that represents something in a piece of music. when i studied motivic development we were encouraged to make that motif four notes or less, and then develop it into something longer (aka a theme), because if you can constantly come back to a really short idea while keeping the piece moving, that’s what makes a piece of music memorable

(you can ignore those rules on purpose but that’s a different essay)

so the most common way that a leitmotif shows up in soundtracks is to represent a character or a location - you play the motif when that character shows up or when you’re in that location and boom, the audience associates that motif with that person place or thing, and you can then use this to tell the audience things without actually telling them. for example, star wars playing the imperial march whenever someone does something darth vader related - darth vader isn’t on screen, but you can feel his presence, because his music is playing

and if we were a film score, where we have two hours to show one particular character’s development, great! we give them a simple motif, and then as they grow as a person we change their motif to reflect what is happening to them, until we end up with something that communicates on a subconscious level how much they’ve grown. we toss in as much symbolism as we can, and we have a really great soundtrack that’s instantly memorable

tv scoring, is harder. partially because of time constraints (have you ever composed half an hour of original music a week, and had to make sure it fits perfectly with every beat of what’s happening on screen? these guys have), partially because there’s a much larger focus on ensemble casts

so what atla and lok do, for the most part, is not score individual character motifs for everyone. this is fairly common in tv soundtracks, instead we score ideas, concepts, and feelings - these’ll come up a lot more and give you more information than just “oh hey this character’s on screen”

the avatar state, for example, has the strongest and most recognisable theme across both shows. i’m linking an atla track in here because it has the best example but you’ll know this shows up with korra too - and with particularly important moments for wan, for kyoshi, etc. they also appear in the opening of both shows, four strong notes that start and end on the same note (in the case of what i’m linking, it’s an F#)

the first part of this track is the more uncertain, pensive theme that comes up when both avatars are feeling doubt/worry/sadness, but then it transitions into the more recognisable four. worth noting though, those are both basically the same motif. if i write them out back to back, you’ll notice they both have four notes and start and end on F#. if i had to guess, four notes four elements, and it comes back to the start because the avatar is a cycle.

korra has a theme for when she’s fighting, but not an individual character theme. the airbenders as a concept have a theme, republic city has thematic instruments, as do some big name characters, like iroh and his tsungi horn (this is also a cross-series thing, he’s always playing it in atla, it shows up when zuko has to make big moral decisions, and when we first meet iroh in the spirit world in lok, it shows up there too, to let the audience know who this is before we properly see him)

so, if korra doesn’t get a single theme and instead has several for different aspects of her life, and mako and asami follow along with the mood of the story like all the other characters, the fact that bolin has a personal leitmotif at all, let alone a solid, developing one, is pretty remarkable!

now, granted, it mostly starts with book 3, before then he was like every other character, but it has clear symbolism through those last two books! and, initially i thought it was related only to his lavabending, since that’s most of when it shows up, but since my rewatch, i’ve started calling it his hero theme

see, when people wanna criticise mako and bolin, usually the comments they get are that bolin’s too immature and mako’s too serious/uptight. but like, that’s how they work, you can’t analyse either of them without the context of the other. since they were little kids on the streets, bolin chases his heart and mako makes sure they don’t die from it, that is their entire childhood. and neither would have got here on their own because mako wouldn’t take the necessary risks and bolin wouldn’t take the necessary precautions. (like. remove either one from the equation and they’d still be working for the triple threats bc s1 and their flashback miniseries make pretty clear that bolin got them out and mako kept them out)

and then book 2 proves it! because it splits team avatar up, and what happens? bolin is totally taken advantage of by varrick and used as a pawn in his evil plan and mako ends up in jail

so what’s book 3, to them? it’s, being able to find themselves without having that codependency. mako no longer has someone to protect, which is what he’s based his whole life around so far - bolin’s doing fine and he’s no longer dating either korra or asami. and bolin’s trying his hand at some of that responsibility (look at how he immediately adopts kai who is explicitly them but younger because he wants to be the older brother for once). most importantly, they find the rest of their family, and stop being defined by being orphans. they don’t have to be that singular piece of a puzzle, they can just be themselves. and that’s where bolin’s character really starts to shine, because that’s when they bring in the bending plot, and bending, perhaps more than any other character, really gets to the heart of who bolin is

if you want more of my thoughts on that i have an essay here, but tl;dr: bolin’s an extremely powerful earthbender, but he’s not a metalbender because metalbending requires you to double down on the earth characteristics and think like an earthbender, and bolin doesn’t, he’s too fluid for that, which is one of his major strengths, so of course he can lavabend

and finally - to his motif itself! (as a note, i’ve put all of these in the same key to show where it repeats, but there’s a variety of keys used in the show)

as far as i can find, it first shows up in s3e8, when bolin stuns p’li with this well placed shot

[Edit: it first showed up in the s2 finale, but again in a simplified version and again with him doing something heroic with earthbending, so we can still start the analysis here]

mako volunteers bolin for that job, because he knew bolin was capable of it. why? because bolin landed an identical shot earlier in the episode, after trying to metalbend, getting frustrated he can’t, and cheating with some extremely well aimed earthbending. it’s just a short refrain and you barely notice it, but it’s the first connection of this motif with the theme of bolin’s bending

it looks like this, and it’s always played on a trumpet, which is part of why i call it the hero theme, because, if you’re looking at music from a western perspective, trumpets were used to herald kings, and then used to represent military glory, and then when superhero themes started happening, they used trumpets too - it’s basically western music shorthand for hero these days

(it’s also symmetrical so that helps with the good vibes)

and he’s saving everyone here, so it’s linked to his bending, but it’s also linked to his heroism

it ties the two together, and they are tied together.

when’s the next time it shows up? episode 10, when the brothers are in prison in ba sing se, and bolin tries to metalbend them out. again, he’s doing this to save people, and this motif gets a few notes added on to the end in a raising pattern - they’re inspiring, but they don’t go anywhere. which is exactly what happens in the scene, because he’s trying to go about this in the wrong way. mako believes in him, but it won’t (and doesn’t) work

it appears in episode 12 when bolin saves everyone from ghazan destroying the temple, in a more fancy orchestral remake of the first version - it’s impressive, but it hasn’t actually developed yet, it’s just his discovery of it

the book 3 finale already has its own fucking amazing soundtrack, i love that entire episode’s score, but it gets its own moment there too, and the first real development!

because what we hear is not what we’ve heard before. we know it’s the same theme, because it’s using those signature trumpets, but it’s the second part of this phrase, the answer to the question supplied by the first one. why? because bolin’s figured out who he is and he’s starting to use it. it still hasn’t settled yet though, it’s early days and he’s still just turning ghazan’s lava back on him, so again, it raises, leaving it on a question mark

it doesn’t appear in s4e7 when he lavabends as a warning against the escaped prisoners, because he’s using it as a threat, not to help people. but it does later in the episode when he uses lavabending to save them from kuvira. and that’s when we get the first full phrase, question and answer

it keeps the first motif identical, takes out the first note of the second, and ties them together - except now it’s not open ended, now it knows where it’s going - it’s been three years, at this point bolin is confident in both himself and his bending

and then that phrase appears all over the place in the finale, because all bolin does is save people - everyone from the exploding building, he slows the giant mecha with lavabending, he saves opal, he slows the giant mecha again by collapsing a building on it, and most importantly, he’s the one rescuing his brother this time, instead of the other way around (though that one doesn’t get a motif appearance bc admittedly a fuck ton of other things are happening in the soundtrack at the time)

so to that question asked in book three - who is bolin when not next to someone else? well, funnily enough, we saw it in book two as well, just in a warped way, playing nuktuk. it just wasn’t truly him because it was created by varrick, and he needed to get away from varrick too. the question put forward by the narrative is who is bolin, and the answer given by the music is, he is a hero. and i don’t know why bolin is the only one to get a theme like this, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that, while everyone in team avatar has been a hero and saved people, he is the only one who has, from the start, solely been motivated by wanting to help people. he follows his heart, and his heart cares, about everyone. it’s been the driving force behind almost everything he’s ever done. and i love him so much

[pandawriterstuff]

Pinehallow Summary & Character List

This is my main WIP, if I'm complaining about characters doing whatever they want, this is them.

Pinehallow Summary-Monty, an eleven year old boy who has spent most of his life traveling from place to place with his in-demand lawyer mother, Irene, is sent to live at his uncle's horse ranch because she thinks he needs roots. Used to nearly everyone but his mother not being around long enough to get to know, Monty is more than a bit uncertain about this. But in scrambling to find his place in a town different to anything he's ever known, he finds friends, both human and animal, makes discoveries, and even manages to foil a plot against Pinehallow Ranch itself.

Character List

Monty (Montgomery) Cade Waller- Main character, 11, white. Monty is curious, bright, and more than a little awkward. He has a tendency to state the obvious, which can be endearing or annoying depending on your perspective. Big vocabulary and grown-up way of speaking because he’s spent more time around grown-ups than other kids. He’s quietly stubborn, particularly when it comes to being told he’s wrong when he knows he’s right. Insecure about socializing and friendships because of constant moving and traveling. Can’t hold a grudge for the life of him, even when he likely should. He likes bugs, birds and turtles, would rather read nonfiction than a story. Fills lonely afternoons with sketching, nature sketching on the ranch.

Irene Waller- Monty’s mother, 36, white. Irene is a powerful corporate lawyer, either full of energy or exhausted, never in between. She loves using words to sway minds and deciphering documents to find exactly what the opposition doesn’t want her to find. Sometimes Irene wishes she was using her skills in more meaningful ways, but also really likes the money, the traveling, and the competition. Has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of show tunes from musicals. She has a hard time letting people get close. Would stab someone for her baby, but knows it’s better to teach him to stab for himself. Only partially joking. Dolly Parton is her hero, and as much as she loves her music, it’s Dolly the business woman and Dolly the philanthropist that she strives to emulate.

Keith Waller- Monty’s uncle, 34, white. Horse Rancher. Keith loves working hard and getting dirty, and if he’s not exhausted at the end of the day he’ll be looking for something else to push him there. Otherwise he gets antsy. Loves animals and absolutely will not tolerate anyone mistreating any of the animals on his ranch-ordinarily he’s very careful of his size and strength, in that situation, all bets are off. Times that by about ten for any of the ‘barn rats’ that help around the ranch for riding lessons/time. Loves romantic comedies and telanovas and doesn’t care who knows it. Keith doesn’t read a lot, it never came easy to him, but if he’s taking a long trip he’ll always check an audio book or two out of the library instead of just relying on the radio.

Juniper - Keith’s goddaughter, 15, white. She has a calm, confident personality with a smile for most everyone she meets. If she doesn’t have a smile for you and it isn’t because her head is in the clouds over a girl, you’ve probably earned her scorn and will be ignored as much as possible. Juniper raises rabbits and it’s taught her patience, and a lot about unfairness when a kit doesn’t make it. She helps out with riding lessons at the ranch in exchange for riding time of her own, and has become a fixture, spending more time there than she does at home, and when she can get away with it, school. Loves sunflowers and her sunflower comforter is probably her most prized possession.

Nell - Caretaker/cook for the ranch house(would cooking lunch for the workers still be a thing on a modern ranch?). 38, white(?). Not about to put up with nonsense. Will make you cookies if she doesn’t have to put up with nonsense. Please. At one point she wanted to be a chef and has a year of culinary school under her belt, but quickly decided the super fast paced and competitive environment wasn’t for her. Anything that was making her hate one of her favorite things that fast could not be good for a person. She intends to live a long, long life and that kind of stress can just walk right out of the door. Loves to go on long walks, often into the hills (BLM land) behind the ranch. (maybe she was taught/took a class on foraging, and teaches Monty to find wild onions and stuff? But this would mean *I* have to learn about foraging in Idaho.) This leads to a contented, if often silent, companionship between her and Monty, who desperately wants to explore/record/sketch everything about the natural world of his new home, particularly the parts that are off limits to him without an adult along.

Ray- Family Friend/Co-Owner of R & M General (designed to feel vintage, but shiny. Bit of a tourist stop now, they decided to lean into it.), 50, Black. He uses his background in chemistry to make amazing looking candies and chocolates, using that to deal with a time he used it in less pleasant ways when he was in the military. He never expected anybody outside of his small town, or maybe the folks at the county fair to make so much fuss over them. This might embarrass him, if he weren’t so delighted. A cheerful man with a dreamer’s heart, a magazine once referred to him as a small town Willy Wonka. He dotes on his wife, often making and gifting her small surprises. An amputee in honor of my Grandpa (missing left leg at the knee, possibly missing one arm as well, but I’m not sure how that would affect candy making.). Has certain parts of his past he just doesn’t talk about.

Mavis- Co-Owner of ____ with Ray, 48, Black. Fierce and kind in equal measures, Mavis believes in protecting what’s hers, and as far as she’s concerned the entire town of (oh my god, it needs a name) is included in that. Mavis is very selective about the battles she fights, but when she chooses one she throws herself in whole-heartedly. On several committees around town, she’d be on more, but then she wouldn’t have enough time to really get into the work of the ones she loves. She knits in her limited free time, often while listening to the news, but sometimes opera. Has started knitting stuffies in the shapes of the more unusual candies Ray makes, it’s silly, but fun, and tourists and the local kids love it. Still head over heels for Ray, even though his often dreaming about things for ages instead of just doing them is also still baffling to her.

Leanna - Juniper’s sort-of girlfriend, 15, Vietnamese. Quiet, a little cynical, but very empathetic. She avoids the news because it’s that or be mad and want to cry all the time-until she hears about something she can’t not research, and goes on a 24 hour google search and learns far more than is probably good for her about a species going extinct due to logging in prohibited areas, or genocide being covered up by claims of violent uprisings. She loves manga and comics. Leanna sometimes tries for a cottagecore* type aesthetic, but mostly thinks it's too much work. She’s starting to worry about what she’s going to do with her future, and people telling her that she’s only 15 and doesn’t have to worry about it yet is NOT HELPING.

*even though cottagecore isn’t a thing in the early-mid 2000s this is maybe/vaguely set in. Shh, let me have this. Anne of Green Gablesesque maybe?

Winnie - Leanna’s mom, 45, Vietnamese. Widow? A little ditzy, but a lot loving. Everyone in town is convinced she’s the stoner type of hippy, but no one minds as she’s someone who truly wants to know how you’re doing when she asks and strangely almost always has very spot on advice. She’s rarely on time anywhere, but that’s because she’ll have stopped to talk, and often to help, whoever she’s run into. Leanna and her bicker over this when she’s late picking her up. Always wears bright colors. Loves Agatha Christie books. Calls everyone, even people 50 years older than her, hon.

Logan - Juniper’s stepdad, 40, white. Kind of a jerk, but most of the jerky things he says are actually jokes that fall flat or have simply gotten old. Tries really hard, like *really* hard, but has a tendency to get annoyed if people don’t appreciate his efforts right away-more in his personal life than professional, possibly because of his profession. A contractor, hard worker, loyal, has worked for the same company since he was twenty even though they don’t often treat him right. Sometimes tries to buy people’s affections. Wants to have better communication with Juniper, but it’s gotten really hard the last few years and he’s never quite sure why.

Candice - Juniper’s Mom, 39, white, works at a nursery that sells seedlings and baby fruit trees, has a cheerful, calm personality, but a lot softer and more lowkey than Juniper’s version. Very house proud, but has a ‘maximalist’ approach to decorating-everything is in its place, but there are places for lots of things. Loves spending time outdoors, but would rather spend it tending her garden than hiking or riding, preferably with a cup of tea by her side. On the weekends, a fruity beer or wine instead. Wants to go on one of those train rides where you get to drink wine, eat canapes and try to solve a mystery, thinks Winnie might be a good candidate for someone to go with her.

Ura - a ‘barn rat’, 12 and a half, white(maybe a Czech immigrant? 2nd generation?) . A cheerful, rough and tumble boy who is always climbing things, and often being told to stop when he gets too high for other people's comfort. Ura is fearless when it comes to physical feats, but has a fear of ‘slimy’ things like worms and frogs. He has a thick layer of pudge and a big appetite, but is athletic and strong enough that anyone bullying him over it would be doing it at their own peril. Not that he’s the type to start fights, or even finish them most of the time. Doesn’t feel he quite fits in with his family, who are all more serious, reserved people. Redwood is his favorite of the horses, and Keith has all but given up on telling him that sitting on the floor of Red’s stall to talk to the horse isn’t exactly safe.

Elliot - Ray and Mavis’s son, Black, 19 and a college student-maybe/probably at U of I. Lives on campus, but comes home at least a couple weekends a month. Has an older car that he and Ray fixed up together, that is his pride and joy. Quiet, with an irreverent sense of humor that he unleashes somewhat at random. Interested in robotics, engines and mechanics and generally has some project he’s working on, a piece of which may or may not be in his pocket. Often has oil, grease, or ink on his hands, either from working on or designing a new project. A bit of an overachiever, he can spread himself thin trying to live up to all his responsibilities at once. He’s best friends with Randy, a friendship his parents want to disapprove of, because the few times Elliot’s gotten into trouble not only was Randy there, but 99% of the time whatever it was is Randy’s idea, but never quite manage too.

Randy - Handyman at the ranch, mixed race Hispanic and white, 21. Technically head handyman, because the old head retired six months ago, and is a little young/inexperienced for the job, but he’s not the type to back away from a challenge and has risen to the occasion beautifully. Loves rock and metal music, and spends a lot of his free weekends at concerts, the ones crammed into little venues and bars where people are practically on top of each other and the beat is so loud and solid it throbs through you, connecting you to everyone even before you hit the mosh pit, are his preference. He’s been working at the ranch since he was 16, and feels like he has a claim on it, not afraid to speak up if he thinks a decision Keith is making isn’t right or that he isn’t taking something important into consideration. Can be a bit wild when he’s not being the responsible one, definitely doesn’t always think before he acts.

Alma - Local artist/worker at R & M’s, Hispanic, 25. Alma is a painter and poet, a confident young woman who’s figured out that half of surviving as an artist is being your own agent/a salesperson as well, and in addition to several shelves at the R & M that hold postcard prints of many of her pieces, both the coffee shop and cafe have some of her larger paintings displayed, and she always has a booth at the Saturday market, though the majority of her sales come from her website. Alma is cheerful, and likes to tease, and growing up the middle child of four brothers, is very able to hold her own in verbal sparring. She’s close with her family, still living with her parents, and while at first her father was dismayed at her choice of career, he now hands out her business card to basically everyone he talks to.

Miriam - Nell’s Mom, white, 71, a little deaf, speaks loudly, partially because of the deafness, partially because she spent too long letting other people push her around and when she hit about 50 decided she was going to be the one talking over people now. She’s earned it. Age has made her more delicate than she likes, bruising and scraping easily, but she’s determined to do most things for herself. Those that are beyond her she has no problem loudly ordering someone else to take care of. Volunteers a lot, often fosters kittens for the local animal shelter. Used to chain smoke, quit when Nell was a teenager because she kept leaving pictures of diseased lungs everywhere. Still uses the candy ones as a substitute.

Places

Unnamed Town- Somewhere in Latah County, Idaho, where there is not already a town in the way. Around 200 years old and has grown and shrunk and grown again, and currently has a population of about 12,000. Having grown out from a traditional mainstreet, _______ no longer has the western style boardwalk seen in old pictures, but it does have a large cluster of local businesses and ‘hot spots’ still along that old main street, a coffee shop, a diner, a combination bookshop and independent library, a hardware store, a bar, a few places I haven’t thought of yet, and of course R & M General. There is a historical barn half a mile or so away from mainstreet that has been converted into a theater/meeting hall/dance hall, and a community center was added onto it in the early 90’s. During the summer there is a farmer’s market on the property every Saturday. The elementary school and junior high are all on one property, several miles out of town, because the majority of families live on farms, ranches or small rural properties rather than in one of the neighborhood clusters in the town itself. The junior high is 7th, 8th and 9th graders, in a newer two story building, and the elementary school is divided into lower and upper elementary with the bracket shaped building basically being cut in half, K-3 on one side and 4-6 on the other. The high school is outside of town on the other side by several miles, and actually serves kids from another town(s) as well. There is also a trailer park with about forty units, not exactly sure where it is yet, but Miriam(Nell’s Mom) lives there. There is also an animal shelter, a vet’s office, a cemetery, and a couple churches, and I’m sure more things to come.

R & M General (working title?)- Ray and Mavis’s store, a general store with a candy focused twist. A vintage Pepsi sign, neon still bright, and a charming green glass juke-box filled with hits from the 1940’s onward grace the front porch of the R & M, along with a long bench that locals are encouraged to use for a spell or to listen to a couple songs, provided they can behave themselves (teenagers arguing over who their favorite member of the rat pack is might be amusing, considering they were already ‘mom and dad’, or at least older brother and sister, music by the time Mavis and Ray were teenagers, but when they get loud it also gets annoying.). The store itself still has the original wooden counter up front and built-in shelves along the walls, but all refinished and polished to a high shine. A mixture of display types going down the middle of the store, barrels and baskets filled with skeins of colorful yarn and cloth or Mavis’s knitted stuffies(and during winter sometimes socks and mittens), other sewing and craft supplies, display racks with local arts, postcards and carvings, sometimes wind up toys made by Elliot, and of course many, many displays of candies and chocolates. They also have a lot of dry goods, and some of the simpler candy types have little instruction booklets and the ingredients it takes to try out making them yourself stocked in the same display, drink coolers, and sometimes have local produce available. Basically, they have a bit of everything, except for building equipment/home repair supplies, and that’s because of the hardware store across the street.

Pinehallow Ranch-A sprawling 100 acre ranch in Latah County, Idaho where the Waller family has been doing something or other with horses for four generations now. Originally it was a horse breeding ranch, but Keith and Irene’s grandfather felt the money was in training horses, and offered boarding as well, and Keith has continued to build that up, offering lessons for a variety of styles, ages, and skill levels. Butting up against BLM land that allows additional grazing and trail riding, the ranch has four pastures, a large corral, a medium sized indoor arena and two horse barns, one for boarded horses and one for the ranch's own stock, and an equipment barn, an old bunkhouse that is mostly used to store feed-though Randy has slept there when in between places, mostly unbeknownst to Keith-and some smaller equipment sheds, placed where they’re needed. The main house is an L-shaped ranch house with a porch that goes around the entire long front of the house with a large herb/kitchen and rock garden arranged around that. There are treed pockets scattered here and there, left alone as the rest of the ranch was developed, but the creek Monty and Juniper sometimes hang out at is on BLM land, as is most of the forested area around the ranch.

Pinehallow Taglist @sleepysera @enchanted-lightning-aes @odysseywritings @thegreatobsesso @writing-is-a-martial-art and @hiitsolivia If anyone else wants to be added just interact with the post :) (My more advanced tumblr knowledge has led me to believe this is better than asking people to reblog/comment to be added, but if I'm wrong just let me know.)

[terreisa]

Love Down the Line: Chapter 12

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch.  When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept.  Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones.  With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, AO3

~*CS*~

 Boston, June 8th

Emma shifted from foot to foot in front of the door marked 520.  It had taken her over a week to get her shit together and make the trip that she’d originally intended to make the morning after her show in Vancouver.  Of course that had been before her phone had blown up with calls and texts about Killian’s video, which had hit a million views before the sun had even risen.  It had also been before the small gaggle of paparazzi had grown to a crowd and forced her to use the same back door to leave the hotel that she’d used to enter it the night before.  Those were the excuses she told herself in the light of day.  She was much more honest with herself at three in the morning when she couldn’t sleep.

In the dead of night it was easy to admit that she was a fucking coward.  Killian had laid his heart bare for the entire world to see, and judge, and all she’d done was call her manager.  Granted she’d had to take a dressing down and listen to a frustrated rant meant for someone else but that was nothing compared to the self flagellation she’d been doing since she’d landed in Portland and driven north instead of heading south.  To add an extra layer to her guilt she watched Killian’s video two or three times a day and that didn’t even count how many times she only pulled up the song portion.  That, in the end, had been what decided it for her.

She’d tried finding the song on every streaming service and on every platform that sold downloads but it wasn’t anywhere.  For the entire week she’d checked every morning when she woke up and every night before she went to bed but the song only seemed accessible in the video he posted.  The temptation to illegally download it had crossed her mind once or twice but she’d been able to hold herself in check, mostly because she knew the audio quality would suck but even more so because it felt almost cowardly.  That that would be the thing to somehow tip off Killian that she would rather torture herself with a shitty copy of the song he wrote for her than to actually talk to him.

It took far too long for her to piece together that because it couldn’t be downloaded or streamed meant that he wasn’t making any kind of profit from it.  When she finally did she felt like her heart had been plucked out of her chest and was on the precipice of being ground into dust.  She’d been out the door and on her way to Boston within five minutes of her realization and long before she could talk herself out of it.

The four hour drive had given her plenty of time to think over some things.  How she felt about him, really, truly felt about him, for one.  While Killian had pretty much said that he loved her she wasn’t so sure that was what she was feeling in return.  She definitely liked him, a lot, so much so that the weeks since she’d practically ghosted him she’d grown used to the constant ache under her breastbone.  The restless nights and obsessing over his video seemed a bit much but she could easily admit to herself that she missed him.  It didn’t necessarily mean that she loved him, they’d really only been together for a matter of days after all.

Then there was the slight issue of what the hell she was going to say to him.  An apology was a given.  On the flight back to Portland from Vancouver she’d finally admitted to herself that she might have possibly, slightly overreacted when she’d heard about Killian’s record contract.  She wasn’t completely in the wrong, he had lied and hidden things from her, but she definitely could have at least listened to what he’d had to say.  That was another thing, she was going to keep her damn mouth shut after she apologized and let him say whatever it was that he needed to say to her.

Her planning and imagined conversations got her into Boston but once she’d parked her car she’d begun to worry.  There was every possibility that he’d refuse to speak to her, that he’d take one look at her darkening his doorstep and slam the door in her face.  He might not even open the door at all, just see her distorted image through the peephole and decide not to bother.  By the time she’d reached his apartment she’d worked herself up so much with the ‘what ifs’ that she couldn’t bring herself to even knock on the damn door.

She’d been psyching herself up for at least ten minutes, raising her fist in a burst of courage only to drop it as another wave of unease washed over her.  As she lifted her hand for the fifth or fiftieth time one of his neighbors slammed their door shut.  Startled, her knuckles tapped the door, softly but enough to make a definite sound.  Resigned and relieved she sucked in a deep breath and soundly knocked twice, stepping back quickly so if he did look through the peephole he’d clearly see that it was her on the other side.

For a few agonizing moments she stood, waiting.  The neighbor who had slammed their door passed her by, giving her a curious look but kept walking.  She briefly wondered if he knew he lived on the same floor as potential rock legend.  The thought fled her mind when she heard the slide of a lock disengaging and the door in front of her slowly opened.

She could tell that Killian hadn’t been sleeping as soon as he stepped into view, there were dark purple shadows under his eyes that hadn’t shown up in his video.  His hair was even more of a disheveled mess than it had been in the video too, and longer.  He was wearing a pair of thin blue flannel lounge pants and a threadbare grey t-shirt with a rip at the collar and a faded Led Zeppelin logo.  She’d never seen a more heartbreakingly beautiful sight.

“How-”

“Regina mostly,” she rushed to explain.  It was way easier to tell him how she found him instead of why she had wanted to, “Robin helped with the doorman though.”

“They’re old friends,” he murmured absently.  His gaze darted all over her, as if he couldn’t quite believe she was there, “Tuck put in a good word for me with the board when I decided to move here after rehab.  Why are you here Emma?”

She winced, “Can we, um, go inside.  I really don’t want to do this out here.”

Something flared bright in Killian’s eyes as his mouth tightened.  She almost expected him to cross his arms and refuse.  Saying everything she needed to say out in the hallway would have been embarrassing and awkward as hell but she was prepared to do it.  In fact, she realized she would do almost anything to just get him to give her a chance.  He must have seen that in her own eyes as he gave her a terse nod, stepping back into the apartment and opening the door wider for her to pass through.

As she walked by him she resisted the urge to reach out and brush her fingers against the back of his hand or worse, stop completely to wrap her arms around him and never let him go.  Every ounce of courage she’d lacked before was suddenly filling her from root to tip.  She was still nervous as hell but she wasn’t about to destroy everything for once and for all by chickening out at the last second.  If things didn’t go the way she wanted it wouldn’t be because she decided that giving up was easier than fighting them.

Her steps slowed to a stop as she fully stepped into the spacious apartment.  One of the living room walls was floor to ceiling shelves filled with books, cds, and vinyls while the second had an impressive entertainment system with a giant tv that had a soccer game frozen on its screen.  There was a cozy looking couch and matching chair facing it that broke up the space between the living room and breakfast bar and the kitchen.  What really caught her eye was the view from the sliding glass doors behind a round dining table that opened to a small balcony.  It wasn’t full dark but the facade of the State House was already lit, its golden dome gleaming dimly.

“Nice view,” she muttered quietly.

“You were more excited by the one in Malibu,” Killian said flatly, startling her as he stepped up beside her.  He gave her a wry grin, “Bit jumpy there, Swan?  Don’t worry I won’t bite.”

She turned fully towards him and held his gaze, “I’m more nervous than worried.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked but he didn’t look away.  After a moment he gave a small sigh and moved toward the kitchen.

“I’d offer you a stiff drink but chamomile will have to do.”

He brushed past her, moving into the kitchen.  When she didn’t move he huffed and pointed to one of the high backed stools tucked under the breakfast bar.  She gave him a small smile and when he turned his back to her to open a cupboard she shook her head at her nervousness.  Silently admonishing herself she sat down and watched him move around the space, a defensive set to his shoulders as he gathered the things for their tea and set an electric kettle to boil.  Once there was nothing left for him to fiddle with he turned back to her, leaning casually against the far counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

“So it took you ten days to ask Regina where to find me?” He asked in that same flat voice.

Despite his attempt to sound indifferent she could hear the hurt in his words.  As much as she knew her answer would only serve to harm him more she couldn’t lie to him.  There was enough of that between them already.

“I called her as soon as I finished watching your video-” she dropped her gaze to where her hands were folded on the bartop, not quite strong enough to watch him react to her answer, “ten days ago.”

Her confession was met with silence.  She could hear the water in the kettle start to boil and the gentle hum of the refrigerator but that was it.  After a few seconds of quiet torture she steeled herself and looked up, needing to know exactly how pissed he was at her.  What she saw didn’t disappoint.

He hadn’t moved an inch, still leaning against the counter but there was nothing casual about it.  Every one of his muscles were tense, his fingers digging into his bicep with enough force to turn them white while his eyes were two chips of ice, cold enough to burn as he stared her down.  She was almost relieved at seeing the signs of his anger, anything was better than the indifference he’d been displaying before.  The kettle clicked off but he showed no sign of noticing aside from the slight tightening of his jaw.

As he glared at her she tried not to let her own frustration and anger flare up.  There were still so many things that they needed to talk about and any one of them could have him throwing her out of the apartment.  She wasn’t about to be meek or amenable but she sure as hell wasn’t about to keep poking the beast that she’d awakened.

“Honey?” He growled.

She blinked, “Wha- what?”

“In your tea-” he uncrossed his arms and gestured to the mugs beside him, “Honey?”

“Um, yeah, that’s fine.”

He gave her a terse nod and began fixing their tea.  With his back turned to her she took a deep, calming breath.  She was no longer nervous, his reaction had been pretty much what she’d expected and that part was over with.  Instead a hollow ache of longing had settled in her chest.  There was nothing she wanted more than to talk like they used to, open and without pretense but also with a bit of teasing and flirting thrown in for good measure.

Killian topped his mug off with a splash of milk before turning and handing hers over.  It was a white mug with a line drawing of a guitar and the words ‘I’m a kettle head’ written over it.  She couldn’t help her snort of laughter at the sight of it.

“Something funny, Swan?” He asked with a raised brow, his cup of tea halfway to his lips.

She spun the mug so the graphic faced him, “Gag gift or did you buy this yourself?”

He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his tea but she could see his ears turning red.  She let her own eyebrow tick up as he swallowed, shaking his head.

“Gift from a fan, actually.  I made mention in an interview years ago that I enjoyed a good cup of tea in the afternoon.  I’m still receiving packages of tea and its related wares on a steady basis-” he tipped his head towards her mug, “That was one of the more clever ones.”

Spinning it back so she could grasp it by the handle she hesitated.  The opening was clear for her to start the conversation that needed to be had.  She knew she should take advantage of it but he was no longer glaring at her and she wanted to bask in the small reprieve she’d found herself in.  To prolong the moment she took a sip of her tea, humming at the soothing warmth and delicate flavor that danced over her tongue.  The corner of Killian’s mouth ticked up and her heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“Not as good as my hot chocolate but it’ll do,” she teased.

Emma knew she’d pushed his patience to its breaking point a half second too late.  Killian’s smile flared for a second before he pressed his lips together in a thin line and turned his gaze away from her.  Her own small grin slipped and she berated herself for expecting too much too soon.  She waited, quiet and still, until he looked back at her.

“I’m sorry.”

His eyes widened and he let out a little huff of surprise but she barreled on, needing to get it all out.

“I’m sorry for so many things, waiting ten days to show up, not calling the second I finished watching your video, blocking your number so you couldn’t call me, fighting with you when I answered Ruby’s phone-”

“Swan-”

“I get that you’re mad at me.  Good, you should be.  I was terrible to you and I know it’s no excuse but I was hurt and you lied to me, but I still should have given you a chance to explain-” she gave a little hiccuping laugh, “God, if you’d done that to me and showed up at my house I would have slammed the door in your face and been done with it.  And you?  You invited me in for tea?  Why?”

Killian shook his head with a huff.  She could see his smile threatening to break loose again and the sight mystified her.  He saw her bewilderment and pushed off the counter behind him with his hip, setting his mug in front of hers and leaned into her space, gently taking her hand in his.

“Don’t you know, Emma?” He asked, painfully earnest. “You said you watched the video, so you must know.”

“You’re mad at me,” she pointed out, even as she gripped his hand.

He tilted his head, considering her, “I am but that doesn’t change how I feel.”

“I’m not sure how I feel,” she confessed in a whisper, “I know I hated not talking to you late at night or being near you almost constantly but…”

She trailed off, unsure how to proceed without stoking either of their tempers again.  Killian’s thumb ran over the back of her hand, encouraging her, and she reveled in the feeling.  He gave her an encouraging nod and she took a fortifying breath.

“You lied to me-” he winced and tried to pull his hand from hers but she held on fast, “You lied and if whatever this is between us is going to work I need to know why.  I promise to actually listen this time.”

He gave her a pained smile, “And if you don’t like what you hear?”

“I won’t know until you tell me,” she countered softly.

“Alright,” he said with a nod, one that seemed more for himself than for her. “Alright, but can you promise me one more thing?”

“Anything,” she agreed quickly.

“No interruptions.  I think it’ll do us both good to have it all out in one go.”

She used her free hand to mime that she was locking her lips and throwing away the key.  He gave her a small snort of a laugh, no longer looking pained or apprehensive, which had been her goal.  As she gently squeezed his hand in encouragement she really hoped she’d be able to keep her promise.

Killian blew out a harsh breath and began, “Are you familiar with Cora Hart?”

Her eyebrows shot up and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep her mouth shut.  Cora Hart was the agent of all agents.  Her firm was the one every struggling artist wished would represent them because every one of their clients was a superstar or on their way to being one.  To be one of her personal clients was like getting a golden ticket to everlasting fame, fortune, and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  However, it came with a price and Emma wasn’t entirely convinced that it wasn’t someone’s soul.  Plus Cora Hart was known by everyone in the industry as ‘that cold hearted bitch’.  It was an unpleasant surprise to hear her name coming from Killian’s lips.

“Yes, I can see that you are,” he sighed. “She’s my agent.”

She grimaced.  As much as she’d been prepared to hear it it still made her stomach drop.  There were only so many ways his story was going to go and she wasn’t sure she was entirely ready to hear it, but she would, because she promised.

“I’ve been with her since the beginning.  She found us playing at a small pub in Liverpool and snapped us up.  If it weren’t for her we’d probably still be playing pub gigs but only on weekends-” he gave her a wan smile that didn’t last long, “I owe a lot to that woman, not everything but enough to know not to question her decisions on where to take my career.  Even if I wanted to seek different representation she’s got me in an iron clad contract for at least three solo albums.”

“What?!”

She couldn’t help her outburst.  While it was normal for a record label to offer contracts like that, she’d signed one herself for that matter, she was pretty sure it wasn’t standard for an agent to do the same.  Then again she didn’t actually have an agent of her own.  Regina was an employee of her label and didn’t need a separate contract with her and seemed more than happy to take care of everything herself.  Emma thought that things had been working out alright, aside from the fiasco that had put her right where she found herself at that very moment.

“I have been bound by this contract for quite a while, Swan,” he said wryly. “Since even before the accident.”

“But that’s gotta be extortion or something, right?” She asked indignantly. “I mean, it’s been almost fifteen years!”

He gave her a warm look, “There are plenty of people who have been with their agents for much longer and I thought I said no interruptions, love.”

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“Realm of Jewels made Cora a very rich woman and an equally hot commodity in the industry.  I had already planned to do a few solo albums and signed with her because she was someone I already knew.  Back then I thought three albums was nothing, I had written material for at least six,” he said with a shrug. “After the accident and pulling myself out of the bottle she was gracious enough to allow me to do whatever I needed to do to get my life back on track.  Even if it meant nothing more than doing recording sessions for other artists’ work.  Of course, her patience could only be pushed so far and I’m sure I’d far exceeded the limit.  She started not so gently reminding me of my contractual obligations about a year ago.

“At the time I figured I could piecemeal something together from my old lyrics and maybe a cover or two to get an album together.  It wouldn’t have been great, fair to middling if anything, but it would have been enough to satisfy Cora for the time being.  I wasn’t excited by the prospect and in the meantime I was still being hired for session recordings.  One of which was for your album.”

Emma smiled and ducked her head.  He’d made it sound like it was some great honor instead of a few hours work on a couple of songs.  She didn’t even get to choose the musicians that got to record, that was all left up to the label, though she did get final say on how it sounded.  That didn’t mean to say she hadn’t gone back to listen to those backing tracks almost as much as the song he’d written for her.

“It was the day we were recording for Snowdrops and Buttercups that I first met Regina.  It just so happened to be the same day that Cora had come to the studio to once again remind me of my obligations.  What I wasn’t aware of was the fact that Cora is Regina’s mother-” Emma’s head shot up at that and he nodded, “Whatever you do try to avoid being in the same room as them, especially when business is involved.  I left the studio that day with my three album contract inexorably attached to the record label that Regina represented.  There was also the small inconvenience of a series of deadlines being imposed.  The first of which was having enough songs written to begin recording an album within six months.  When Ruby called about needing a replacement I had about two months left to put something recordable together.”

Emma bit her lip.  It was getting harder and harder to keep her comments and questions to herself.  Especially with the bomb he’d dropped about Regina and Cora.  She decided to take a sip of her tea instead.  Before her mug even made it to her lips Killian was grinning widely at her.

“Go ahead, love,” he said with a bow of his head.

She slammed her mug down, splashing tea over her hand.  With a hiss she shook off the droplets impatiently, ignoring Killian’s outstretched hand, not wanting to be deterred.

“Cora the heartless is Regina’s mother?!  And if you had only two months to write an entire album why the hell were you allowed to come on tour with me?  Is that why you had that lunch with Robin and Regina?  For the album?  Why didn’t you tell me all of this already?”

Killian’s expression immediately dropped into one of regret as she sat back, stunned at her directness.  She absentmindedly rubbed at the reddened spot on the back of her hand that the tea had spilled on.  The lingering pain was an excellent distraction from the tension that had sprung up between them.  With a click of his tongue Killian moved to the sink, wetting the corner of a dish rag.  When he turned back to her he paused and she gave him a nod, holding out her hand to him hoping he would see it as the olive branch she was offering.

“At first it didn’t seem as though it would be an issue,” he said quietly as he gently pressed the rag to her burn, “You only needed a temporary guitarist and as I mentioned earlier I had dozens of notebooks already filled with lyrics that would suffice.  Regina was the one who scheduled the meeting with Robin as soon as I was officially attached to the tour.  I believe her intention at the time was for me to hand over the completed songs and get the ball rolling as it were.  She, of course, had no idea that you and I would become what we did.”

“Did you, um, have any idea?” She asked hesitantly, dropping her gaze to where his hand was still holding the damp cloth to the back of hers.

He used his other hand to tip up her chin and looked her in the eye, “I’d hoped but I could never be quite sure how you felt.  Until Chicago.”

She wanted to confess that her hopes had started long before Chicago.  That he had somehow snuck past her defenses into her heart with his charm and unwavering support but she couldn’t.  He still hadn’t answered the question that mattered most to her.  With a sigh she pulled away from his gentle touch.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me any of this,” she said a bit sharper than she intended, her frustration and confusion bleeding into her tone. “We talked for hours on that damn bus.  I listened to you talk about how much better felt tip pens are than ball points three separate times!  Was it really so hard to say ‘by the way, Swan, I’ve signed with your manager and have to get an album written while we’re on the road’?”

He let out a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair, “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“And look where that got you,” she said with a humorless chuckle waving her hand between them. “If you’d said something off the bat I would have been pissed at you for, like maybe a week, and I also wouldn’t have gotten my heart broken.”

Emma froze.  She hadn’t meant to make that confession, especially when she wasn’t even one hundred percent sure what it was she felt for him.  Killian seemed caught off guard too, as he stood staring at her with wide eyes and not appearing to breathe.  He blinked and closed the small distance between them but made no move to touch her.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he murmured.

“You’re glad to hear I got my heart broken?” Her voice cracked and she pulled as far back from him as she could.

“If it can be broken, it means it still works,” he said softly but she could hear the hope in his words all the same. “I know I hurt you immeasurably, love, and I’ve earned no right to a second chance but if you can see it in you to do so I’ll gladly spend the rest of my days earning your back your trust and, perhaps in time, your heart.”

“Killian…”

“Finish your tea, Swan,” he said with a tight smile though his eyes were sparkling with the same hope she’d heard, “Don’t want it to get cold.”

She stared down at the amber liquid and watched the curling tendrils of steam as though they’d give her some kind of sign of what to do.  They didn’t, of course, not that she really believed it would be that easy.  There were still so many questions she wanted to ask but only one really mattered.  Guarding herself against a final blow she looked up at him with determination.

“Were you ever going to tell me about any of it?  Or was it always your plan for me to find out from someone else?”

Killian jolted back, as though she’d slapped him.  He shook his head with a sigh before running a hand over his face.  When he caught her eye again the hope had been replaced with pain and a flash of the anger she’d thought was behind them.

“I’d intended to tell you everything the night of the interview over the dinner we were supposed to share at my home.  I suppose it was fortuitous that I’d listened to it or I would have sat with our meal laid out on the table, waiting for hours for your arrival.  As it was I had to endure one of Regina’s assistants traipsing through the house, gathering your items and ignoring my pleas to explain what the hell was going on.  Then, of course, there was to be no explanations forthcoming for nearly three days and absolute devastation once I’d received them.  But after all that my feelings for you never changed, not once.”

Emma sucked in a breath at that.  Even as he was justifiably dressing her down for what she’d done he was still playing it safe.  He’d never stated outright what he felt for her but she knew without a doubt what he wasn’t saying.  Funny thing was, his caution made her realize exactly what she felt for him with startling clarity.  She gave a little laugh that bordered on manic but she was helpless against the sudden euphoria she was feeling.

Killian glared at her, “I won’t have you laughing-”

“I love you.”

The words seemed to hang between them in the quiet kitchen like a line cast out to the unknown.  She could only hope that Killian would grasp onto them and tether her heart to his.  As the silence stretched out she found she only wished she had told him sooner instead of dragging out both their heartaches.  Shaking her head at her own stubborn foolishness she gave him a tremulous smile.

“I love you and I’m sorry.�� I was trying so hard to protect myself from getting hurt again that I just hurt us both so much more instead.  I’m so tired of feeling like I tore a piece of my own heart out.  You said your feelings haven’t changed.  I want this.  I want us.  Do you?”

Instead of answering her with words Killian moved at a speed that surprised her.  Almost before she had finished the question he was standing in front of her, his arms bracketing her with his hands on the back of the chair and the counter.  His expression was deadly serious but his eyes were lit with joy as he leaned into her space.

“Swan, I want nothing more.”

Her smile was cut off by his lips pressing to hers.  She gasped as one of his hands delved into her hair while the other banded around her waist, his thumb stroking at the skin above the waistband of her jeans.  It was as if he was pouring every emotion into the kiss.  His passion, his elation, his fervor, and most of all his love.  With a moan she pulled him impossibly closer, hooking her ankles around the back of his legs to draw him in.

To her surprise he broke away, leaning his forehead against hers, breathing heavily, “There’s one last thing that needs to be said.”

“Now?” She panted, arching up slightly to nip at his lower lip. “Can’t it wait?”

“Not really,” he groaned.  He kissed the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, sliding his mouth to her ear where he quietly sang to her, “But I wouldn't trade a day for the chance to say, My love, I'm in love with you.”

Tears welled in her eyes as he pulled back, looking at her as though she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  He gently brushed away the few tears that had fallen with a finger, following closely behind with soft kisses that travelled across her cheeks, leaving her wanting more.  By the time he moved to her mouth the heat between them had returned but she leaned back before he could press more than one delicate kiss to her lips.

“Emma,” he growled, his hand flexing on the back of her neck, his eyes hot.

“You know, you never gave me a tour of the place-” she gave him a teasing smile and gave an exaggerated look around, “I bet there’s all sorts of interesting rooms.”

He caught on quickly, his smile unfurling into something wicked, “Indeed there are, my love.  Shall we begin with the bedroom?”

He didn’t give her the chance to answer as he swiftly pulled her up from her chair and tugged her quickly down the hallway.

Much, much later Emma was seated back at the breakfast bar in nothing but her underwear and Killian’s Led Zeppelin shirt.  Her feet were perched in Killian’s lap, which was covered by dark blue boxer briefs that he’d only pulled on when the pizza they’d ordered had arrived.  She tried to smother a giddy grin behind her crust but he caught sight of it and raised a brow at her.

“Something you’d like to share, Swan?”

“I’m just-” she gave a little shrug, “happy.  I guess I’m still trying to process it.”

“I know what you mean, love,” he agreed, his hand dropping to her ankle to give it a squeeze. “If someone had told me yesterday that we would be here tonight, like this, I wouldn’t have believed them.  Now, if they’d predicted us reconciling by the end of the week I wouldn’t have questioned it.”

“No?” She asked, humming in pleasure at the confidence in his voice.

“You’re not the only one who can wheedle an address out of Regina,” he said with a wink.  Then he grew serious, “If I hadn’t heard from you by the end of the week I was planning on driving up to Maine to plead my case.”

“I’m surprised she gave it to you,” she mumbled around a bite of her crust. “She was all worried about you breaching your contract because of deadlines two weeks ago.  A side trip to Maine would definitely eat into your studio time or something.”

“Oh-” Killian scratched behind his ear and then said offhandedly, “I’ve, er, been in breach of my contract since I posted that video, love.”

Her last bite fell from her fingers as she gaped at him.  A flush was rising along the back of his neck and he gave her a sheepish smile.

“What?”

“Well, according to some of the very fine print in it I was forbidden from releasing any music by means other than through the label-” he shrugged and waved a hand as though dismissing the seriousness of the situation, “My lawyer assures me that at most I’ll only have to pay a minimal fine.”

“Pay a…” she brought her palms to her temples, “Killian that’s still going to be thousands of dollars.”

“I would have posted a hundred unsanctioned songs and paid every cent I have to my name just to get you to talk to me again,” he said matter of factly.  He leaned over and plucked the piece of crust from her lap, tossing it into the open pizza box before fixing her gaze with his, “And it would have been worth it.  You are worth everything.”

She dropped her hands with a huff, “Stop being romantic when I’m worrying about you.”

“Never,” he said with a wide grin that made his eyes crinkle. “And you don’t need to worry about me, Swan, I’m a survivor.”

“I love you,” she said with a shrug, “I’ll always worry about you.”

His grin mellowed into something that made her feel warm and cherished.  He leaned over and grasped her stool, dragging it towards him until the already small distance between them was narrowed so only a puff of air could pass through.  She gave a wayward thought to the state of his floors at the abuse they suffered but it vanished as his hand came up to cup her jaw, his thumb drawing a delicate arc across her cheekbone.

“I love you too,” he murmured just above a whisper, his eyes intent on hers, “I always will.”

Her happy sigh was swallowed by his lips on hers.  The kiss was far more gentle than any of the others they had shared, even the ones from before their separation.  With a slight thrill she realized that they would have hundreds, even thousands, more kisses of all sorts in the years to come.  As they parted she couldn’t help her giddy smile at the thought.

Killian raised his brow at her, his gaze teasing, “Already, Swan?  We’ve only just surfaced.”

“What?  No!” She laughed, pushing him back, “I mean, yeah but not like that.  I was thinking about us kissing but years from now kind of kisses.”

“Years from now,” he repeated in awe.  He leaned back towards her, “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” she sighed.  Then she crinkled her nose at him, “Even if I do end up supporting you because you have to keep paying fines since you’re a big YouTube star now.  I know how you guys gotta keep posting content.”

“Har, har, love.  Just so you know, Cora has already spun this in my favor,” he said smugly. “She’s convinced the label that it’s the perfect way to garner attention for my forthcoming album.  Which is why I’ll only be paying a minimal fine instead of what it easily could have been.”

Emma sat back, “So you’re still going to do it?  Record the album?”

“Not exactly, no,” he said with a crooked smile, “The songs I was planning on recording before are, quite honestly, rubbish.  I’ve had a wellspring of inspiration these past few weeks.  Robin is quite pleased with them as a matter of fact and he’s not hold back over the years when something of mine is only worthy of a bin.  I’ll be heading to the studio once the whole contract debacle is taken care of.  That is, of course, only if you agree.”

“Agree to what?” She asked, confused.

“The songs, my love-” he dropped his eyes for a moment and when he looked back up his gaze was wary, “You, us, what we’ve been through?  Well… you know.”

And she did.  She’d written dozens of songs about the man who’d left her in jail and pregnant and just as many about her lonely childhood in foster care.  There was more than one notebook filled with longing ballads about the son she’d never even held.  Hell, the notebook in her purse was pages of scribbles and half formed lyrics about Killian and their time together.  So she knew exactly what he was getting at.  She also had one niggling thought about it.

“Yeah, I do,” she said with a slow nod.  Reaching towards him she took his hand between hers, “I think you should record the songs you’ve written, even the ones that I know don’t paint me in the best light, but I do have one request.”

“Anything,” he breathed, his hand flexing in hers.

“I don’t want to hear any of them until the final mix-” she let go of his hand to cover his mouth as he tried to protest, “No, hear me out first.  I’m sure the songs are good, great even since Robin is excited about them, and that’s exactly why I want to wait to hear them.  I know how much work goes into making an album and thanks to Ruby you know exactly how big a fan I am of your music.  I just- I think I want to have that giddy moment listening to your first big solo album as the finished thing.”

Killian tugged her hand away from his lips and gave her a wry grin, “So you want to enjoy the sausage without seeing all the unappetizing steps of how it gets made?”

“Uh, weird analogy but yeah,” she said, relieved that it hadn’t caused another fight, “I wouldn’t mind seeing the pigs before slaughter though.”

“So you’ll berate me for the initial analogy but then proceed to take it to a much darker place.  I see how your mind works, Swan,” Killian said with narrowed eyes and a look of mock sternness.

“I work with what I’m given,” she said with a shrug.

Killian huffed out a laugh before he grew serious, taking the hand that was still in his and placing them both over his heart, “You can look at every song I’ve ever written, love.  Even the shit ones from primary school.”

She gave him a smile she knew was giddy, “Oh, I definitely want to look at those but I think for now I’ll stick to your most recent ones.”

“Wise decision,” he murmured,half rising from his stool, “Shall I go get them now?”

“No, it’s late, I can look at them tomorrow-” she flexed her fingers on his chest and when he looked back at her she tried to let him see every ounce of love she was feeling, “I’m not going anywhere.”

His smile unfurled slowly but adoration and love was bright in his eyes, “Good.”

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: December 2020

And so concludes another year! Maybe not the most ideal 12 months on record, but certainly memorable. I dunno. Anyway here’s how I wrapped up the year.

……….FILM……….

Gremlins (1984) Every time I watch this I just marvel at the fact that it was made. The practical effects are fantastic, the characters are so over-the-top that I think the Gremlin-sized mallet is the most believable part of the whole film. It just has that energy of a live-action cartoon and for that, I love it.

Gremlins (1990) This and Aliens fall under the category of sequels I didn’t like at first (for the hard turn in tone) but have come to really appreciate and enjoy. The opening with Bugs and Daffy really sets the tone for the whole thing and in hindsight, I appreciate how it manages to do all the same stuff that was loved about the original while making it feel bigger and different. Not necessarily better or worst, but definitely different.

Happiest Season (2020) It really felt like Harper was written to be the villain, right? Anyway it was a solid Christmas movie for a modern era, Kristen Stewart was a solid lead, and Dan Levy’s comedic timing is unreal. All-around fun watch.

The Family Stone (2005) Claire Danes and Luke Wilson are the only redeemable characters in this movie and while I don’t think they’d work out as a couple, it’s a shame they never get a chance to chat and just say “hey all of our family members are awful, right?!?” Actually Thad and Patrick are decent people, but I suppose they’re overshadowed by everyone else. Oof what a movie.

……….TELEVISION……….

Ted Lasso (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Never have I more sincerely connected with a character’s outlook than Ted Lasso. It doesn’t matter if you know anything about Premier League soccer, what you get is an optimistic, heartfelt comedy that doesn’t punch up, punch down, or really punch at all. It’s gentle and kind and the sort of tv we need more of right now.

The Queen’s Gambit (Episode 1.01 to 1.07) Dang I thought I knew a little bit about chess but like...none of that helps here. It felt like a Rocky miniseries only chess instead of boxing (and I mean this all as a compliment). Given that the show doesn’t expect a knowledge of the grame, credit to the actors for communicating what’s happening in a game just through facial expressions. Worth checking out.

The Bachelorette (Episode 16.08 to 6.13) You know what, this was a pretty good season! It’s a shame we didn’t get any follow up after the proposal, but it was refreshing to see a group of guys who all got along and were just generally mature!

Mad Men (Episode 7.12 to 1.14) And so ends a pandemic-long viewing of Mad Men. First time watching it and I knew a little of how the series ended and honestly, I think it was fine! We got to check in with most of the cast and while I wish we could’ve kept going with these characters, it really did feel like they were all headed off in different directions anyway. Great series would highly recommend.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (1.07 to 1.11) It wasn’t until Asuka showed up that I realized this show is a metaphor for puberty and thus, is super horny all the time. Viewing through that lense, it’s an interesting allegory and the robot fights are cool.

The Mandalorian (Episode 2.01 to 2.08) For me, this show works best when it’s doing its own thing and just kinda existing in the world. The frog lady stuff, the random tasks, even the first ep did a good job of walking the line between fan service and the confidence to tell a new story. But dang if that last ep didn’t throw it all out the window. I’m just not a big enough Star Wars fan that I need to see all the old stuff again. It’s lazy writing and that’s what bums me out the most.

……….READING……….

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark (Complete) Really great! I don’t read much modern(ish) day fantasy but the ideas and worldbuilding in this are so economic that it felt immediately familiar. Plus who doesn’t love the idea of a sword-wielding heroine cutting down monstrous klansmen?

Illuminatus Part III: Leviathan by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Complete) After reading all three parts I can say, with confidence, that I have no idea who 90% of the characters are. Maybe it’s the similar names (John, George, Joe, etc.) or that every character talks like a philosophy student, but I just couldn’t separate them from each other. The plot and illuminati stuff was fun, but I’d seen so many great reviews and high praise that I was expecting it to be more fun.

Richard Stark's Parker: The Hunter by Darwyn Cooke (Complete) Darwyn Cooke’s effortlessly cool style elevates Stark’s pulp story to something that walks the line between classy and cruel. A murderous criminal is a tricky lead to follow but somehow you still want to see how it all shakes out. If you dig this first book then I recommend getting all 4 of Cooke’s interpretations of Stark’s work.

Scott Pilgrim Vol. 6: Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour by Bryan Lee O’Malley and Nathan Fairbairn (Complete) Still love this series after all these years and rereading them in color has been great. I still think the “glow”, as a twist/reveal, doesn’t really work and is somewhat convoluted, but it’s one misstep in what’s a consistently great run. The color version only adds to the quality of the book.

Dragon Ball 3-in-1 Vol. 2 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) This is the sort of light-hearted, good-natured comic I like to read around the holidays. There’s just something about a world where a criminal organization can be a mix of humans, bears, and a monster made of jelly that feels right, you know?

……….AUDIO……….

Song Exploder (Podcast) I’ve only listened to a handful of episodes so far but it’s really giving me a new perspective on music and the craft that goes into composing! I recommend starting with songs you like and then expanding from there.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) A small seasonal interlude! I’ve posted a longer recap on Reddit but the group has temporarily resolved the issue of the island flood and have moved on to an escaped Fairy causing wintery havok and significantly dropping the overall island temperature.

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) And so concludes the adventure! I think I could’ve made the final showdown against Merlin a little more climactic, but live and learn. Now we’re taking a break as the group makes up new characters to play in this world!

And that’s it! We did it! Goodbye 2020 and here’s to a bigger and brighter 2021!

Happy Thursday!

[rigelmejo]

Reading the Listening Reading Method articles and contemplating. Just some quotes. From here: http://users.bestweb.net/~siom/martian_mountain/!%20L-R%20the%20most%20important%20passages.htm

---

Read a page or a paragraph (in your mother tongue), do STEP 2 AND 3 one to three times and go on. Do it from the beginning to the end of the novel. Then start again from the beginning, it will be much easier. The third time should be quite easy or not even necessary.

The longer the novel the better.

---

What you should do in STEP 3 is

not just look at the translation but READ it before the matching texts in the recording reaches your brain, and try to simultaneously attach the meaning to what you're hearing, at least part of it, without stopping the tape (= audiofile) all the time. If you're not able to do it, you must repeat Step 2.

---

Example:

L2 German, the book: The Trial by Franz Kafka,

translated into Polish by Bruno Schulz (his woman translated it to be exact), the translation is very good and very faithful.

It took me 3 (three) days (30 to 35 hours of listening) to be able to understand every single word in the book read in German by Gert Westphal.

What I knew before I started to L-R it:

I knew the book (I read it in Polish, Russian, etc) and loved it.

I could recognize all the German phonemes and their corresponding letter combinations.

I was able to recognize basic grammar structures (morphology and syntax).

I could recognize in speech and in writing the meaning of some 800 words. (probably less).

(I couldn’t speak the language, I never try until I reach ‘natural listening’ stage. Of course, I would have been able to speak ‘survival’ German, if I’d been forced to.)

I used cassettes and two printed books, I had no parallel texts.

When I started only listening to it I didn’t understand anything, just a word here and there.

But when I started reading in Polish and listening to the German reader at the same time I was able to understand virtually everything, for a fleeting moment of course, I didn’t bother to memorize anything, I was just going with the flow of the soul shattering experience that only a masterpiece can deliver/provide/drown you.

As I had no parallel texts with matching chunks, I did the following:

(step 1 - read in native language, theirs is polish. step 2 - listen to target language while reading target language)

I read a page in Polish, I listened to German and looked at the German text, I paid attention to the meaning, grammar, and letters-phonemes correspondence.

Then another page, and so on, until the end of the book. I understood almost everything.

It was the first day.

The second day:

(step 3, and natural listening)

I only read in Polish and listened to the German reader and the same time. I understood everything.

The third day – I only listened to the German reader. I understood almost everything.

I worked ten to twelve hours a day. I made 15-minute breaks every 45 minutes. I did some physical exercises.

I had three meals a day. I slept eight hours a day. I was healthy.

And then I tested myself:

I took a recording in German – it was The Snow Queen by Andersen. I hadn’t read the story before, so I knew nothing about it. And... I understood it...

I noticed something very interesting about intensive L-R (and then natural listening) – after a while (two-four weeks, 10-15 hours a day), speaking (and writing for languages with alphabet) come naturally, there are only two conditions to activate the skills, phonetic training and repeating after the recording here and there while listening to something you understand and enjoy.

---

I don’t know how many words there are in Der Prozess (“The Trial”) by Kafka, I’ve never counted them. However, I DO know that you can understand each single word in the book after thirty to forty hours of “listening-reading”, provided it’s done in one go, to prevent forgetting and to do the right amount of good quality input. (Garbage in, garbage out.)

If you work on it 10 to 12 hours a day (I can do it easily), after a week’s time (70 to 80 hours), you’re able not only to understand what is being spoken (if it is not too technical), but you’re in a position to speak as well, enough to be able to engage in small talk at least.

In 70 to 80 hours it’s possible to “listen-read” 3 to 5 average novels, and that’s quite a lot. The first one will be a little bit difficult, but the rest will be much easier, you’ll be able to “shadow/echo” it (= repeat after the reader) at the same time, and I DO know from my own experience that when you’ve “shadowed” 3 to 5 hours, you can speak as well. It does not matter if you repeat every single word, it is the amount that counts. Taking part in a conversation means first of all to understand what is being said to you, and if you do, you can react accordingly.

A great deal depends on the “density” (new words per minute) of the texts you “listen-read” and “echo/shadow”. If it’s too low, it won’t be possible for you to put across your thoughts in a coherent way, simply your vocabulary would be too poor.

---

(mejo’s summary) Summary:

Step 1: Read a paragraph/page/chapter in native language.

Step 2: Immediately after, listen to target language while following target language text. Pay attention to: meaning, grammar, and letters-phonemes correspondence. (You should understand a decent amount, since you read the story first in your native language)

Step 3: Once step 2 has been done for whole book (though you could do this after each chapter), listen to target language while looking at native language text. Attempt to read it before the matching line in the recording reaches your brain, and try to simultaneously attach at least part of the meaning to what you're hearing. (You should understand almost everything).

Repeat steps 2-3 one to three times until you understand the novel well.

Test: listen to audiobook on its own and see if you can understand it.

Test 'natural listening': find another audiobook the same difficulty or slightly easier, listen to it. If you can understand it, you have gotten to a natural listening stage.

---

Another summary found here: https://www.jonkenpo.net/method-listening-reading/

The Listening – Reading Method

The order ought to be EXACTLY as follows: 1. You read the translation. If it is a text you have read many times in your life, much better.  You must be passionately in love with the text you’re going to study and know it well.  You only remember well what you understand and what you feel is “yours” psychologically.  

2. You listen to the recording and look at the written text at the same time. Because the flow of speech has no boundaries between words and the written text does, you will be able to separate each word in the speech flow and you will get used to the speed of talking of native speakers – at first it seems incredibly fast.  If you’ve ever tried to listen to native speakers of any language, you must have noticed that at first you do not know which groups of sounds form words and that the speakers speak as if they were machine guns.  The aim of STEP 2 is to cure these two small drawbacks, and at the same time to get some exposure to meaning, sounds, rhythm, intonation in L2.

*  If you already understand quite a bit of the text, can recognize the boundaries between words and the speed is no longer frightening you can skip to step 3.  If the speed is frightening you go on until it stops being so.

3. You look at the translation and listen to the text at the same time, from the beginning to the end of a story, usually three times is enough to understand almost everything.  If you’re a fast enough reader you can read much faster than people speak, so you’re able to know IN ADVANCE the meaning of what you’re going to listen to, and to be in a position to guess at least some meaning (with a good translation almost everything) of what you’re listening to. This is the most important thing in the method, it is right AT THIS POINT that proper learning takes place.  If you’re not capable of doing it without stopping the audio, you might decide to read a page (or a paragraph) and listen to the passage once or twice and go on.

Because of the IDIOLECT of the author the first 10-20 pages might be a nightmare for some, but then it’s getting easier and easier, the longer the text the easier it becomes, but it’s still the same IDIOLECT, variation after variation on the same theme, more and more celestial music.

[vorgues]

50 Best Ways To Make Money Online

Making extra money doesn’t have to be hard. You don't always have to spend money to make money. There are lots of money-making opportunities out there.

One of the best things you can do to make money fast is to invest in your networking at work, spend time learning as much as possible, and get a raise or promotion. This alone could help you to make an extra $100 a day in no time. and get a raise or promotion. This alone could help you to make an extra $100 a day in no time. I am not going to lie: the reality is that you will have to put in some work to earn cash. But there are some clever real ways to make money out there if you are up for the challenge! This is what making more money can do for you:

Help you to save money and pay off your debt.

Pay your bills at the end of the month.

Help you stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Allow you to reach financial freedom.

It can even help you to leave a job you hate.

Plus, you could retire sooner if you want to. But remember: If you want to reach your goal of making $100 or more a day online (or offline), simply combine a number of these money-making ideas.

Whether you’re between jobs, a stay-at-home parent or just want to make some extra money without leaving the house, these work-from-home jobs and tasks can boost your income, helping you make ends meet, pay down debt or reach savings goals. Legitimate work-from-home jobs do exist but beware of scams that require you to pay upfront for the chance to earn extra money. Instead, check out these ways you can easily make extra money from home.

Let’s dive into it: here are the best ways to make money in 2021. No matter what your skills are, you can find something that’s right up your alley.

1. Sell Stock Photographs If you have a knack for capturing the perfect shot, you could turn those pictures into extra money. Sites like Shutterstock, Fotolia and Adobe Stock enable users to upload images and get paid when people purchase them. You’ll receive a fraction of the sales price — and a good picture can earn you thousands of dollars if it’s downloaded a lot. You must have the exclusive rights to the photos, and you must include signed releases for any recognizable people or private property in the images. 2. Use the Right Account for Your Money You shouldn’t settle for any old checking account when you’re looking for somewhere to keep your money. Instead, you should find one that pays you back. PenFed’s Access America Checking account does just that thanks to its annual percentage yield of 0.20% or 0.40%1 — depending on the daily balance — with a monthly direct deposit of $500 or more. By using an account that pays a higher APY, your money will grow more quickly while it sits until you need it. And if you’re able to avoid monthly fees, there’s no reason not to take advantage of a perk like this. 1APY (annual percentage yield) is accurate as of Sept. 18, 2020, and is subject to change at any time. Federally insured by NCUA. 3. Pet Sit If you love animals, getting paid to watch other people’s pets is a dream job. Sites like Rover connect pet sitters with pet owners. You’ll need to set up a profile explaining why you’d be a great pet sitter, but once you’re approved, you can set your own rates and hours. You could earn up to $1,000 per month, according to Rover. 4. Transcribe Audio Clips If you can type quickly and accurately, you can earn money by transcribing audio clips in your free time and turn it into a sweet side hustle. Companies like TranscribeMe! pay about $20 per hour, and top earners can earn $2,200 a month from these work-from-home jobs. If you have a specialized background like medical or legal training, you can earn higher rates. 5. Sell Unused Stuff If you’re looking for quick cash, consider selling items around your house, including your CDs, DVDs, games or books on the site Decluttr. Just enter the barcode, and Decluttr will tell you how much it’ll pay you for it. 6. Take Paid Surveys Online Various online websites will pay you for sharing your opinions on a range of topics. For example, e-Rewards is open to anyone older than 13. You’ll earn e-Rewards currency for each survey you complete, which you can redeem for gift cards. Other options include GlobalTestMarket and Harris Poll Online. The amount you make depends on how many paid surveys you’re eligible for and how quickly you complete them. 7. Become a Remote Sales Agent If you have a smooth voice and like talking to customers, sign up as a sales agent. You’ll take calls like you would in a physical call center, but some sales agent positions are remote jobs. For example, you can sign up with the company LiveOps to take calls for 30-minute blocks. First, you must apply, be accepted and complete a company training course, which takes about two weeks. Depending on the job, you could be paid an average of 25 cents per minute and/or commission and receive incentives for selling certain products. 8. Make an Online Business Out of Creating Online Courses If you have specialized knowledge, use it to create an online course. If you partner with a site like Udemy, you can set your price — between $20 and $200 per course — and keep a portion of the earnings based on whether you drive the traffic to the site or Udemy’s advertising attracts the students. 9. Surf the Internet There are dozens of ways to win money online. For example, companies want to know what you’re doing online, so they pay data aggregators like Nielsen to collect that information. To do this, Nielsen incentivizes people to share details about their computer and mobile phone usage by installing an app. You can earn rewards for each mobile device, plus sweepstakes entries. Nielsen gives away $10,000 each month to its Computer and Mobile Panel participants. 10. Serve as

an E-Juror You can make extra cash by serving as a mock juror so attorneys can practice their arguments and judge the value of their cases. Sites like eJury recruit U.S. citizens over 18 who haven’t been convicted of a felony. You can’t be an attorney, paralegal or legal assistant — or closely related to an attorney or employed by a law firm. Expect to make between $5 and $10 for each verdict. 11. Rent Out Your Car Renting out your car is one of the many ways you can make money off of tourists in your city. When you’re sitting at home, you’re not using your car, so consider making money from home by renting it to someone else. Companies like Getaround enable you to offer your car to someone who wants to rent it when you’re not using it. Getaround offers car owners top-rated insurance and 24/7 roadside assistance — so you’re fully protected. Active car owners can earn about $10,000 per year, according to Getaround. Smart Money Moves: 35 Useless Expenses You Need To Slash From Your Budget Now 12. Get Cash Back When You Shop Sign up with Ebates to get cash back when you shop online. Ebates has negotiated deals with more than 2,500 companies. Each time you click through the Ebates site to partner sites, the company pays a referral fee to Ebates, and Ebates shares it with you. You can also earn $25 for each friend you refer to Ebates. 13. Become an English Proficiency Test Grader To test for English proficiency, foreign students take tests that include writing paragraphs, which need to be scored. Companies like EditFast need people to grade the tests, and you can earn between $18 and $25 per hour. You must be a native or native-like English speaker, have a four-year college degree, pass proficiency exams and complete the training. Then, after making this extra money, you can grow it even more by putting it in a checking account like the one from PenFed. With an APY that can pay up to 10 times1 more than the average checking account, it can do more for your money. If you’re looking for an easy way to improve your financial situation, don’t overlook something as simple as your checking account. 1Sourced directly from: www.fdic.gov/regulations/resources/rates as of Sept. 18, 2020. 14. Host Dinner for Guests If you like to cook — and others like to eat your food — you could make money by hosting dinners at your home. Companies like Eatwith coordinate guests for your dinner parties. You must apply and host a demo event so the company can verify your culinary and hosting abilities. If you’re accepted, you’ll be on your way to making up to $1,100 per dinner. 15. Recycle for Cash Recycling helps the Earth by reducing pollution, but it can also put some cash in your pocket. Some states implement a bottle deposit you can get back when you turn in the used bottles at a collection center. For example, in California, you can earn 5 cents for most glass and aluminum cans and 10 cents for 24-ounce or larger bottles. 16. Watch Promotional Videos Some companies put together videos they want consumers to watch — and sites like InboxDollars find and reward consumers willing to do it. You’ll earn a little cash for each video you watch. If there aren’t any videos available to watch, InboxDollars also pays members to take surveys and online shop. 17. Turn Your Home Into a Bed and Breakfast If you don’t mind sharing your home with people, you can sign up to rent it to vacationers. On sites like Airbnb, you can list your space, set your rate and wait for guests to sign up. You have the flexibility to rent when you want and close up shop when you want your house to yourself. 18. Share Your Spending History Companies want to know what you’re spending money on. Snap pictures of your receipts, and upload them to the ReceiptPal app to earn entries into sweepstakes and points you can redeem for gift cards. 19. Test Websites If you like surfing the internet, consider becoming a website tester for UserTesting. Companies that are launching new sites will pay you to provide feedback about them and perform tasks to make sure they’re

functioning properly. You can expect to make $10 for each website you review. 20. Sell Coupons Online If you have any coupons around you know you won’t use, someone else might be willing to pay for them. For example, if someone is planning to buy a new laptop, a 10-percent-off coupon could save them a substantial amount, which might motivate them to pay you a portion of what they’d save to get the coupon. EBay does have some restrictions on coupon sales, however. You can never sell coupons for free items, and you can sell only 25 coupons — or up to $100 worth — each month. 21. Trade Cryptocurrencies Cryptocurrencies are currencies electronically created and controlled in a decentralized manner instead of by a government. Types of cryptocurrencies include Bitcoin and Litecoin. Trading cryptocurrencies can be lucrative — Bitcoin went up considerably between January 2017 and December 2017. Trading cryptocurrencies has its risks. If the price plummets — as Bitcoin’s price has in the past — you could lose your investment. 22. Create Slogans for Companies Companies love catchy slogans because they help sell products. If you have a knack for coming up with creative sayings, enter slogan contests. At Slogan Slingers, companies offer a reward of between $200 and $999 for slogans. If a company selects your slogan as the winner, you keep the prize, minus a small administration fee. 23. Lend Money to People If you have extra money, you can earn an average of 4% to 6% per year in profit by investing in peer-to-peer lending. Sites like LendingClub allow you to invest in small portions of loans — as little as $25 per loan — to other people. If the borrower defaults, however, you lose your investment. You must make a minimum opening deposit of $1,000 and meet the suitability requirements set by your state. For many states, that means you must have an annual income of at least $70,000 or a net worth of at least $250,000. 24. Tutor Students Online If you have a knack for explaining difficult subjects and helping students get better grades, consider tutoring online. You can find your own students and set your own rates to create an online business, or you can sign up to tutor with an existing company like Tutor.com. Tutor.com requires you to be at least a college sophomore, and you must be a subject matter expert in the areas you want to tutor. You must work at least five hours per week at Tutor.com. The site does not list the pay for tutors on its website, but with Chegg you can make $20 or more per hour of tutoring. 25. Host Direct-Sales Parties Direct sales companies like Mary Kay pay representatives to host parties and sell their products. You host events and invite friends, family and neighbors over to see and buy a company’s products — and you keep a portion of the sales. If you work for a single-level, direct-sales company, you can expect to earn an average commission of 20% to 25% of what you sell. 26. Rent Out Office Space in Your Home If you have home office space you don’t need to use, it could be worth money to someone who wants an office outside of their home but doesn’t want the associated cost or inflexibility of a traditional office space lease. You can set your own prices and decide when and for how long you want to rent your space. 27. Provide Tech Support Online If you get excited about fixing computer problems, sign up to get rewarded for being tech-savvy. Through companies like Upwork, you can complete lucrative freelance gigs online to earn cash and rewards by helping people fix their technology products. 28. Search the Web With Bing Switching your search engine is an easy way to make money from home. Microsoft, for example, will reward you for using Bing to search the internet. You earn points for activities like searches, which you can redeem for movies, games and gift cards. 29. Become a Virtual Fitness Instructor If you like helping people get in shape but don’t like traveling to the gym or other people’s homes, consider marketing yourself as a virtual fitness instructor. You might need to get

certifications to gain credibility with clients so you can oversee their workouts via webcam or other technology. Alternatively, you can have short, online meetings with clients and provide them with workouts to do on their own. Either way, you can work from home. 30. Sell Your Hair If your friends tell you they wish they had your hair, you might have a source of income growing right on your head. Sites like HairSellon provide an easy way to make money from home: You can list your hair for sale, and the site even has a calculator to help you set a reasonable price depending on its length, thickness and color. 31. Be a Virtual Assistant People will pay you to assist them with a range of tasks from canceling cable to scheduling appointments. “Virtual business assistance is an opportunity with so much variety and need that many people are able to find a place here,” said Angie Nelson of The Work At Home Wife. “In-demand skills can run the gamut from customer service and email management to optimizing eBay listings and setting up email funnels.” At Fancy Hands, the pay ranges from $3 to $7 per task — the faster you complete tasks, the higher your earning potential. 32. Sign Up for Credit Cards Credit card companies want to get their cards in your hands, and they often offer substantial bonuses to sign up. Many sign-up bonuses for credit cards are in excess of $1,000 — but you might have to spend a certain amount in a short period of time to qualify. Check that the card’s annual fee doesn’t offset the sign-up bonus. 33. Perform Tasks on Amazon’s Mechanical Turk Website Amazon has created a huge marketplace for tasks that require human intelligence for completion: Amazon Mechanical Turk. Businesses post tasks and how much the pay is for completing them. Tasks include identifying pictures or videos, transcribing audio recordings and conducting research. Depending on the task, you might have to prove your qualifications before you can claim it. The faster you complete tasks, the more you can make. 34. Adjust Your Home’s Temperature You can increase your bottom line by reducing your heating and cooling costs. Even if you’re always home, you can save up to 14% on your electricity bill if you set your thermostat 2 degrees higher and use a ceiling fan, according to Energy Star. You can also save money by dialing back the heat or air conditioning while you’re asleep. 35. Make and Sell Crafts If you’re a crafty person, selling some of your online handiwork might top your list of ways to make money at home. Sites like Etsy make it easy: You pay no monthly fee, just a 20-cent listing fee. Once your item sells, Etsy takes a 5% transaction fee, making selling you handmade creations and vintage goods in your Etsy shop, mostly painless. 36. Sell Video Footage to News Shows If you often find yourself in the right place at the right time to capture big events, let your video camera roll. News shows will pay you to use the footage for their broadcasts. You can use a site like ScoopBroker to sell your footage to a media outlet for exclusive or nonexclusive rights to it. 37. Write a Book Thanks to the advent of online publishing, you don’t need to have a connection with a big publishing house to deliver your story to the public. In fact, you can publish an e-book digitally through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. You can set your own price and earn up to 70% of it in royalty payments. 38. Pay Your Car Insurance in Full Instead of relying on monthly payments, save up to $120 a year by paying your annual car insurance premium in full, according to Lifehacker. As long as your insurance company has a website, you can boost your bottom line from the comfort of your favorite chair. More Opportunities: These Side Jobs Will Be the Most Popular in the US 39. Empty Your Closet If you have a closet full of clothes that you rarely wear, resell those clothes and put some cash in your pocket. Sites like Tradesy allow you to list items that are in great condition as well as authentic. You won’t pay a listing fee, but you will pay a 19.8%

commission on sold items totaling $50 or more and a flat fee of $7.50 on sold items totaling less than $50. 40. Assist With Political Action Campaigns If you’re a good communicator, consider putting your skills to work as a writer or organizer for political change as a way to make money from home. Sites like NextWave Advocacy recruit qualified applicants — often those with a background in writing who are interested in politics — and train them to work for clients on a range of political issues. 41. Negotiate Your Interest Rates If you have credit card balances, calling your credit card company to try to lower your interest rate works 80% of the time, according to CNBC. Even a small decrease in your rate can save you money. For example, say you carry a $10,000 balance: A 3% rate reduction would save you $300. Leverage how long you’ve been a customer and how you pay on time to increase your chances of success. 42. Use an App To Find Price Rebates Many stores have price guarantees, but it’s a hassle to track them all down and potentially even more of a hassle to file the paperwork. Now, you can get price rebates from the comfort of your own home. For example, sign up for Paribus via email, and the service will track the rebates you’re owed by scanning the receipts sent to your email address. It will seek out the lower price and request a rebate on your behalf if you qualify. 43. Review Computer Software Nobody wants to buy software only to find out it doesn’t work well. To help people avoid that disaster, you can write software reviews and get paid for them. SoftwareJudge will pay you up to $50 per review. 44. Watch TV You can make money from home watching TV: Download the Viggle app and earn one point for every minute you watch shows on subscription services like Netflix, Amazon and Hulu, plus bonuses for certain shows. You can redeem points for cash or gift cards. Although it might not be the most profitable activity, if you’re going to watch TV anyway, you might as well get rewarded with this easy way to make money from home. 45. Answer Questions via Text If you’re good at finding answers quickly, consider becoming a member at 1Q, a site that enables customers to ask questions and get answers quickly. After you’ve signed up, you’ll receive 50 cents per answer. The number of questions you receive depends on your demographics and location, so keep your profile updated so you don’t miss out on questions. 46. Create an Online Business Translating Foreign Documents If you speak more than one language, you can make money working from home translating documents. ProZ.com acts as a marketplace for translators to connect with people and companies who need translation services. On ProZ.com, clients request applications for translations and select the translator they want to conduct at-home jobs. 47. Take Stock of Your Memberships Cutting unnecessary memberships is as valuable to your budget as generating extra income. Go through all of your current memberships and subscriptions to make sure they’re worth what you’re paying. To help find lurking expenses, consider an app like Trim, which shows your recurring costs and can even cancel subscriptions for you. 48. Share Your Knowledge If you have specialized knowledge, you can monetize it by signing up as an expert to help others online. For example, JustAnswer will pay you to share your expertise. You must apply for each category you feel you’re qualified to provide answers for, and you need to have a degree or certification in that area. The amount you earn depends on how in-demand your area of expertise is. 49. Bet On Your Ability To Get In Shape Did you know you can get paid to sweat? Getting healthy can help you win money by competing in health challenges. Sites like DietBet allow you to compete with others in weight loss challenges. You must upload pictures to verify your starting and finishing weight. You’ll pay an entry fee, but the fees go into a pot that everyone who meets the goal splits. You’ll never lose money as long as you meet your goal. 50. Accept

Packages for Neighbors If you’ve ever missed a package, you know how difficult it can be to reschedule your delivery. That’s why people use eNeighbr to get packages accepted for them. If you’re going to be home anyway, consider signing up to receive packages for your neighbors. Packages will be sent directly to you, and the customer will pick them up. You can expect to make $3.50 per package.

[juiceboxman]

So I took Siobhan’s advice and listened to the BBC’s radio adaptation of the Lord of the Rings from the 80′s

It’s pretty good, you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/inkmore/sets/lord-of-the-rings-radio 

I had some issues with it but I liked it for the most part. I’m not a massive LoTR fan, only watched the films so I don’t know much, but here are the thoughts I had.

I once heard someone describe Hobbits and the Shire as “drama free people” after listening to this series, that’s obviously not the case. Hobbits seem to live for the drama, always talking shit behind one anothers back. I think Tolkien was trying to satirise rural or village life in England and I think he did a good job depicting how petty people can be.

Sam is a working class hero and Frodo doesn’t deserve him.

I understand how people can like Sam/Frodo because there is massive gay vibes coming off them. Personally I interpreted it to be unrequited and an example of some class division, with Sam being working class and Frodo being middle class. The amount of dedication and support Sam shows Frodo I don’t think Frodo would show back if the roles were reversed. I feel like its a very one sided relationship with Sam putting in way more effort than Frodo.

Bilbo’s whole thing seems to be that he went on a gap year once that turned out quite bad and now he kinda lives like a hermit.

I don’t know how reliable to the books the Radio series is, but I feel like the movies do more justice to stuff. Like in the Radio drama Gandalf makes his first appearance by just coming through the door and Bilbo is like “ah, Gandalf” and...that’s it. Movie version was better in my opinion.

I think the radio drama does a lot better to explain what the ring of power does than the movies. I always got confused by what the ring does, like in the movies all it seems to do is turn people invisible and make them into heroin addicts. With the radio I kinda understand more about it. Like the ring’s power kinda depends on the wearer, like a Hobbit could simply use it for invisibility and expanding their life force but a King could use it to control the minds of an entire enemy army and a Wizard could do even more. But it’s still vague and I presume Tolkien intended it to be, like it’s just a representation of the concept of power and this world’s equivalent of a deal with the devil. Power or wishes may be commanded but they will ultimately corrupt you.

Time in the books seem wild. Like at one point Gandalf says that Bilbo has gone off and he himself will start researching the ring and then twelve years go by and Frodo has just been fucking about, forgot that the ring even existed and Gandalf comes back and is like “oh yeah, ring is bad”

Also, Frodo is 50 when he leaves the shire???? Jesus 

Also, were the Nazgul just running about for 12 years looking for the ring? Like at one point the Nazgul knocked on some Hobbit’s door asking about Frodo and the Hobbit told him to go fuck himself and slammed a door- to a NAZGUL

Aragon’s voice in this radio drama is...way off. Like it sounds like Greg Davies. You don’t really have the soft voice of Viggo Mortinstein but the gruff righteous voice of the Principal from the Inbetweeners 

Elrond denying Aragon to marry his daughter until he becomes king of Gondor is like a stern dad refusing you to date his daughter until you get a real job.

Also Aragon gets the reforged sword, like, immediately when they leave Riverdale. Which is a bit weird to me.

It makes sense why Frodo is trusted with the ring. A king couldn’t be trusted because he’d use it for conquest. A Wizard could overthrow Sauron but in doing so would become just as bad so you’re back to square one. With a Hobbit, there is no desire for conquest or any wish for power outside of simply having the ring. Even when Golum had it all he used it for was to hunt fish and extend his life cycle. I’m curious of whether if Sam had carried the ring all the way to Mordor if he could will himself to destroy it or would he have failed like Frodo. 

Gimly and Legolas’ friendship is so cute. Like they start off disliking eachother but bond over their prowess in combat and plan out a gap year after the whole fellowship where they see the sights of middle earth. So wholesome

I don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Golum. Like I know he was important to find the way to Mordor and was ultimately necessary to destroy the ring after Frodo failed, but like the idea of “don’t kill him because of pity and he also probably has a part to play” is bullshit to me. Like he’s so gross and troublesome. It’s the same excuse Jedi have with “oh you can’t kill a Sith Lord because striking them down means you need to embrace the dark side” bitch Luke Skywalker round house kicked a guy into a Sarlack Pick- whaddya mean he can’t kill this wrinkly ass Emperor??? Ethical mental gymnastics are mind blowing.

For me the moment that made me really dig the series was when the Fellowship disbanded. Like shit hit the fan and everyone’s forced to do their own shit, really engaging storytelling.

The series is quite short when you consider all the battles are short cutted. Like in the radio drama you’ll hear a series of grunts for 30 seconds and then a song about how bad that battle was. I guess it would take a lot to depict a battle purely by means of audio.

Seriously the series is quite short, like it’s 13 hour long episodes and by episode five I’m like “oh shit we’re starting the second book already? Damn” It felt half the time there was so much stuff cut out I don’t know why

I think the radio drama is best suited for people who have either watched the movies or read the books. Like I don’t think it’s well suited for people who haven’t seen LoTR content before. Like the scene with the Balrog there is no description of what it looks like.

Also, Gandalf fought the Balrog from the deepest dungeons to the tip of the mountain? Damn, Gandalf’s leg day must be intense

I love the introduction of Treebeard and the Ents. Like you get this horrific imagery with warring Orcs and other evil creatures and then turn a hard 180 to these hilarious tree people. I guess that’s why the LoTR is so great. Because you do get those hard, gruesome battles but you also get these lovely peaceful wholesome scenes.

Quick question, how do you meet a guy called Saruman and then be surprised that he’s the bad guy? It’s the same deal with Victor VonDoom.

Also, did Tolkien have to have all the big villains names sound so similar?

Man, Tolkien loves having people end up together. With the Horse Princess who got friendzoned by Aragorn meeting up with that guy from Gondor. You love to see it

So like, was the King of Nazgul just talking shit or can he not be killed by a man? Like could anyone kill him by stabbing him the face or did the Horse Princess just find a loophole?

At one point this woman kinda makes fun of this flower called Kings Seed or some shit and Aragon basically calls her a THOT 

Kinda sad the series didn’t have more dragons. Like I would have liked to see a huge black dragon at the final battle at Mordor. But that’s just me, I love me some dragons

Also, the final battle at the gates of Mordor is so endearing. Like they don’t even know if Frodo and Sam are still alive but they go to war anyway because they believe they are and in doing so keep the eye of Sauron off of them. It’s really heart warming

The radio’s version of the destruction of the ring is kinda anticlimactic. Like I said it’s better with the dialogue than it is at the representation of physical actions like combat. Like if you didn’t know what happened at the end of the lord of the rings and you were listening to this you would have no idea that Golum fell into the lava with the ring 

I love the owner of the Prancing Pony’s reaction to Aragon becoming King of Gondor. It’s like “hey, remember that guy you saw shit in the woods that one time? Yeah he’s the President”

Also Sam’s Pony lives at the end of it. Love to see it. I feel like Tolkien read his first draft to his kids and they were like “what happened to Sam’s pony?” and he was like “uh, yeah, the pony....the pony lived! yes! the pony found its way back to town” you can tell this story is vibing on a different level than GoT or ACOC

Hobbits returning to the Shire fucking shit up like level 16 PCs returning to the town they started the campaign in

Also, all the Hobbits in the shire have no idea what the fuck went down? Like I understand they live in the middle or nowhere but that’s astounding 

It’s so funny what ends up happening to Saruman. Like he goes from being the second in command of the Dark Lord to being a shitty local businessman in a Village in Yorkshire

I can see how people can really get into the LotR. Like a world like GoT is just fucked beyond compare and any happy ending will be bittersweet at most. But here you have an ending where the characters leave the world better than when they found it

Frodo asking Sam to live with him was him totally trying to get with Sam, right? And Sam was like “oh that’s nice Frodo, but I have gf” and Frodo’s like “oh that’s alright, she can move in too!” it’s like watching a man back step his request for love by inviting a family into his home. You missed your shot Frodo! You had a whole year with Sam and you blew it!

Sam ultimately moving on from Frodo with his thicc Hobbit gf is the character development we deserved

That said, in the movies Sam getting a gf was a thing at the end of the third movie- like he’d been so shy before hand but after almost dying he’s like “fuck it, might as well give my shot” but here in radio drama he...had a gf all along? Like we only hear about her in the final episode and he’s like “oh yeah, my gf ain’t too happy. I left her for a year to fuck about with you so now I need to marry her. Woops” very startling

Also love how Tolkien represented PTSD with Frodo. I don’t think works of Fantasy like this before Tolkien really did this stuff justice. That said the ending is a bit weird. Like I understand that the “Undying Lands” are supposed to reflect Tolkien’s belief in Catholicism, Eternal Life and Heaven. But it’s really hard to not interpret the ending as Frodo as struggling to deal with his PTSD so he commits suicide. Because the Undying Lands is a place that Sam cannot follow. It’s heart breaking but that’s the vibe I got off the ending.

So yeah, there’s my thoughts. It’s pretty good but I’d only recommend the series to anyone who’s either seen the movies or read the books. If this was your first introduction to LOTR I don’t know if that would be any good. 

Also, while we’re here I recommend Escape from the Bloodkeep from Dimension 20. It’s  DnD actual play series that is a slight parody of LOTR. It’s really good.

[daviddeida]

The Way In Which Of The Superior Man Audiobook

Just learn any proper research and you'll know this guide is absolute trash. Goodreads helps you keep observe of books you need to learn. We helped convert David Deida’s content material for Way of the Superior Man into a successful online coaching program. 

David Deida – THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN ONLINE TRAINING  program included over 6 hours of reside content, reside Q&A periods, and 12 hours of uncommon content. Feminine our bodies have the flexibility to respond exquisitely to refined shifts in a associate. In this audio, David coaches couples on making use of female responsiveness to grow as a couple.

In a perfect world, perhaps, his approach might work. In our present imbalanced culture, I discover his utter disregard for the feminine burden of sexism both disrespectful and irresponsible. One side that you sort of contact on, however do not really hit, is the very nature of non secular, therapeutic, and transformative work. At its core, any work of the Deida nature has an inherent downside.

Moore and Gillette wrote fascinating, in style books that helped lots of men to assume differently about who they can be as males, but they did not deal with archetypes with an integral understanding. Stamper has been involved with the Mankind Project, having a minimum of completed their “New Warrior Training Adventure” weekend.

This holds particularly true for Shamanic Astrology, because it—in contrast to other forms of astrology which are fixed in time—is the one astrological format I’ve seen that evolves as we evolve.

 First, I’m very happy with your “deep and considerate review,” as Lion expressed it so well above. I was delighted once I found out you'll be reviewing the guide, because that’s exactly what I knew would come back.

This article aims to encourage and inspire, to information you toward the most effective gap yr attainable. With so much prejudice and discrimination in direction of the LGBTQ neighborhood, it can be a tough time not being straight.

 When individuals face any type of discrimination related to their sexuality bucking the pattern of regular societal stereotypes, increasingly more people are interested in the topics and choose ones for his or her educational functions and researches. 

The prime-rated normal universities are providing online lessons throughout pandemic situations, help college students to review at their home with out going to high school. Here are Nine prime most popular Universities which provides a free course on your reference to study effectively at residence.

While I am not the goal reader of his e-book, or for his workshops, there are lots of men on the market, especially those who have tried and rejected the MKP, who're hungry for a sense of meaning and purpose, and they would definitely be drawn to and profit from this e-book. 

Fortunately, this is not a case of giving empty calories to the hungry—there may be sound diet for mind and soul to be present in these pages. Finally, there are some New Age parts that do not sit well. 

Shamanic astrology is certainly one of them; talk of the “divine masculine” or the “divine female” is another—if this mannequin is truly shamanic in its origin and execution, it’s all divine, and saying so again is redundant. It’s difficult to say anything helpful in regards to the inclusion of astrology, a pre-rational persona evaluation tool, so it’s finest to go away it alone.

 Then one must additionally think about trauma historical past, neurological elements, character traits, interpersonal growth, peer group, ethical improvement, and so forth. 

Even then this doesn't keep in mind how the Warrior archetype may manifest in a different way in a man from Mississippi than it does in a man from San Francisco or in a person from Somalia versus a person from Sweden.

You’re able to explore the promise of a third-stage life. I am yet a novice on his teachings but already this has changed my life. My capacity and capability for love has attracted fantastic life experiences and I actually have refreshed each my belief in myself and my reward however in my purpose, my soul and the explanation for my existence.

Don't try to act concerned for the sake of your woman. This flow of affection might be in direct relationship with the divine, though it is normally in relationship with a man. wisdom to understand that her female essence will at all times maintain the circulate of love at its heart.

 time together with your girl until you've your profession or mission again on monitor. flowing in her life-along with her youngsters, friends, and with you-then her core shall be fulfilled. your genitals, you will really feel the need to ejaculate, both via sex or masturbation.

The author sounds like a pubescent teen who is obsessed with sex. He tries to be direct and brash by utilizing vulgar language and I discover that immature. Do I really feel like a more "superior man" after reading it? Well, I did simply kill a roach without using Raid so, yeah,

 I would have to say so. You do not really get any extra "superior manly" than that, I don't think. Like most self-help books, it was mostly widespread sense except this one had some new-age craziness combined with it.

Many years of failed relationships, soul-looking, meditation, other non secular work later, I tried the e-book again and it was like a revelation. You must understand that Deida had a really long background of religious work, yoga, meditation, in addition to research of consciousness and ego boundaries and more earlier than he started formulating these ideas.

[dailyaudiobible]

01/17/2021 DAb Transcript

Genesis 35:1-36:43, Matthew 12:1-21, Psalms 15:1-5, Proverbs 3:21-26

Today is the 17th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we…well…we are through the center of the month but we reach out and twist the knob and throw open the door and here's a brand-new week for us waiting for us. And I love that imagery, like I love thinking about this every beginning of a new week because it's like nothing's happened yet. We haven't screwed anything up yet. We haven’t made any wrong decisions yet. Like, everything is out in front of us and we can choose to apply what we've been learning for these last couple weeks, that there is the voice of wisdom and she is calling to us and she is pointing the way if we’ll slow down and pay attention to the fact that every choice that we make leads somewhere and does something. So, when we start to build our lives on wisdom by making small but wise choices systematically over time, we are moving on the path of wisdom toward becoming wise. And, so, let's do that this week, let's live into it. It's not something's that’s happening to us. It's something we are happening to. We don’t have to live reacting to everything that comes our way. We can decide in advance what the posture of our heart is going to be no matter what comes our way. So, welcome to a brand-new week. Of course, we’re just going to pick up where we left off yesterday as we continue our journey. This week we’ll read from the New International Version. And today Genesis chapters 35 and 36.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for what is being spoken over us as we begin this brand-new week from the book of Psalms and from the book of Proverbs, practical straight up clarity. Who gets to be in…who gets to be in Your presence? The one whose walk is blameless who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart, who’s tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor and casts no slur on others, who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps an oath even when it hurts and does not change their mind, who lends money to the poor without interest, who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. In other words, who doesn't take advantage of the vulnerable. Thank You for that clarity. Thank You that we can revisit this and overlay our lives and allow Your Holy Spirit to reveal avenues of growth for us. We thank You for what is spoken in the Proverbs today, a plea to not let wisdom and understanding leave our site. Don’t let them out of our…like…like a little child we would not let our little child out of our site. We have to hold onto wisdom and understanding in the same way and preserve sound judgment and be discreet because that will bring life to us. You're giving us clarity. If we will believe this then these are the things to pursue because these are the things that lead to life. According to the Scriptures they are an ornament to grace our neck. We’ll go on our way in safety and our foot won't stumble if we won't let wisdom and understanding out of our site. When we lie down, we won't be afraid. Our sleep will be sweet. We won't fear sudden disaster. We won't fear the ruin that overtakes the wicked because we will know that You are at our side and You will keep our foot from being snared if we won't let wisdom and understanding out of our site. Help us to not let wisdom and understanding out of our site, so that we might be blameless before You. And we realize this is a gift. We realize we can't earn this, but we also realize that we have to participate. We have to participate in being transformed and our participation is to surrender to Your will and Your ways and walk the path. And You’re showing us the path that leads to life. May we walk it. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, and like I say every day because it is, it where you find out what's going on around here.

It's how you get connected via social media or through the Prayer Wall. It’s where the Daily Audio Bible Shop is. There are a number of valuable resources that really coincide with the journey that we’re on to either take the journey deeper or wider or…or just simply to belong. Like, there’s a whole Global campfire line of stuff that just lets us feel connected in a tangible way to each other knowing that we’re moving through the Scriptures together on this journey. So, check those resources out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can also do that at dailyaudiobible.com or within the app. So, using the website there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, of course, as always, we are a community. We love on each other. We pray for one another. We catch up with each other. We move through a year of life together and we follow each other stories. And, so, if you’re shouldering some things that are a little too heavy for you or on the other side of that if you're rejoicing because your burden is light, and you want to give glory to God for that then reach out let us know. Just hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello. Hi this is my first time calling for the Daily Audio Bible. I am so thankful to be a part of this community and my father recommended this to me and I am so happy. I wanted to call for Zinab. She just had a beautiful story and I wanted to say that that we are praying for you and we’re so thankful that you have come to Christ. Thank you. I also wanted to call for a young lady who called about her college, her last semester and how she wanted to get through the Bible in a year. We’ll be praying for you. I will also ask if you could all pray for me. I have experienced a lot of anxiety this past year and I would just ask that you could pray for me this year 2021 to get through it with faith in Jesus Christ as God’s son that  I would just really get through this year. Last year was difficult I know for all of us. My life was definitely a lot better than other people experienced for 2020 but I know it could have been better. Thank you, so much.

Hi DAB family it’s His River and Rain here calling from the UK. I just wanted to say a happy new year to you. It is currently the 12th of 0January but I just want to say a big happy new year. I hope it’s treating you well. But recently God has…God has been on the move, He’s been moving, not in a way that we expected. But one of my friends from church her sister have recently collapsed. She collapsed on Sunday. And, so, from Sunday until now she’s been in a coma and the doctors are very…quite pessimistic about it saying that she might not survive. But from…with her family and the churches that, you know, her family is a part of the Lord we’ve all just been praying. We’ve been praying so hard praying on worship and…and having different prayer meetings. I mean even though we can’t gather, you know, this is a crazy thing, you know, but even though we can’t…we cannot gather we’ve been having so many zoom meetings to just pray together. And the doctors, as I said, the doctors said she might not survive or she might not recover and be, you know, severe brain damage but God has just been sending so many miracles and what we’ve prayed for has just come to pass. You know, she’s moved her hand and she has taken a few breaths and then we’ve heard a couple of hours later that now she’s extending her arms and extending her legs and trying to cough. So, I just wanted to just ask for more prayer, more prayer for her, full recovery because we know God can do it. And I just want, you know DAB, my DAB warrior prayer warriors just to be part of this and to pray alongside us all because I know that you guys are good.

Good morning DABbers this is God’s Little Princess in East Texas. My name is Nikki but my first name is Deanna that means God’s little princess. I’m a few months new to being a DABber. I’ve encouraged…I’ve been encouraged by it tremendously. I’ve encouraged two friends to join me and they have. Another friend is the one who got me listening to DAB. My husband David is 61 and he’s in the hospital with Covid. Up and down every day. Different news all the time. I’m finally after 10 days and our second hospital understanding in this crisis what “be still” means. Please pray for mine…from my husband’s mind, my three children, they’re grown, my three grown…grandchildren, for our emotions to run to God. It’s one night good, one morning bad or vice versa. I just now, which is yesterday, got off the roller coaster and planted my feet and heart and my mind on the rock. We don’t know what will be in the future. We don’t know how this is gonna go. But I’m clinging to what God spoke to my heart. We have lots of prayer support here, tons actually. I’m so thankful. But I felt I wanted you all whom I love hearing pray and encourage and put your lives out there to get to know me and cover me as well. Brian, my nerves are really raw my emotions are raw but I’m so grateful for all of you. If you would just pray for my husband and for us…

Hello, my dear Daily Audio Bible family this is Maria Missionary in Mexico. I’m calling today with a heavy heart for my friend Glesel. Glesel and her husband Jonathan they are our personal friends, and we all attend church together here and I’m their daughters, their two daughters Sunday school teacher. They got the news this year that they’re going to have another baby, actually last year. And they were…they were so excited to find that out and then they got the really hard news that the baby is a large growth on its neck back and head. It’s been a really hard year for the Glesel. Her grandfather then man who raised her died. Other family member or two I don’t remember had surgeries. It’s been really difficult. And now there’s this and it just feels very heavy and difficult. I told her about the Daily Audio Bible and that we could pray for her if she wanted me to. So, she said, “yes. Please.” You know, she said it would be fine to post this prayer request. Well, I’m gonna pray for our friends our…our brother and sister and I asked that you pray along with me family. Padre Celestia, we just want to come before You today thank You for Jonathan and Glesel and their daughters. Thank You for this new baby that You’re forming in her womb. Lord You are the great healer, the great physician and this is not a problem for You. And we just ask that You would touch this little life and heal this baby and may it be glorifying testimony to You Lord and Your power. We pray for peace and joy in the midst of this circumstance for Johnny and Gelesie. __...

Hi good morning my name is __ from Nigeria and I’m glad to be part of the Daily Audio Bible even if it’s just been 12 days this year. Actually, calling to…I mean I’ve heard…I’ve also been able to pray with others but I’m at a point where I need a lot of strength, you know, to get through this year because __ decisions here in the UK trying __ by myself. So, just praying for strength to get through this and for all of this to make sense, you know, life in general at the end of the day. So, thank you very much and thank you for this platform.

This this is Candace from Oregon. I want to speak to people who lost loved ones unexpectedly. It’s been almost 4 years as many of you will remember when I lost my husband very unexpectedly. It was March 11, 2017. This community came around me in…in an incredibly loving way and held me up during that time for which I am deeply grateful. So, I want to speak to everyone who’s mourning. I know that for me it was like having half my body blown off. I had had a relationship with this man that I loved so dearly and who loved me for 41 years. And only in the last two years, two or three he had become finally someone who really walks really close with Jesus something he always wanted but finally was actually experiencing for himself. Lord I pray that You be with all these dear ones. I know that for me the first year was hard and the second year was really hard for just like a whole new set of reasons. Human beings are so complex Lord. We were fearfully and wonderfully made by Your hand. So, please be with these dear ones who are in grief and mourning. I pray that You would help them to either call into us and or call others who can grieve with them and love on them and give them support, and most of all I pray Lord Your Holy Spirit, Your healing power to come and surround them on every side and help them to…

[buzzdixonwriter]

My Five Most Influential

Someone asked:   Who are the most influential writers in your life?

Good question.

The broad answer is that one gets influenced many different ways by many different sources.  I enjoy poetry and song lyrics because they find ways of conveying the strongest emotional content in the most concise manner, music brings a sense of dramatic rhythm and fulfillment, the visual arts suggest ways of subtly adding many insights to a single strong idea, etc., etc., and of course, etc. (and that is also an example of a creative influence in my work).

But…to boil it down to those whom I most consciously made an effort to emulate, we find ourselves facing five creators that primed the pump.

This is not to say others whom I began following after them didn’t wield a lot of influence (thanx, Ernie, Bert, Jack, Bob, and Hank!) but these are the foundation of everything I’ve done in my career.

(And to those who notice a lack of diversity, I know, I know…but to be honest I have to acknowledge the truth, and the truth is for whatever reason, by chance or by choice, by fate or by fortune, these five dominated my sensibilities.  I trust that I’ve grown and expanded my horizons since then, but they’re the hand I got dealt.)

. . . 

Carl Barks

I loved ducks as a kid and my grandmother and aunt would always bring me a passel of duck-related comics when they came to visit.

There were some Daffy Duck comics mixed in there but while I know I looked at and enjoyed them, none of them stick in my mind like the Donald Duck and Uncle Scrooge stories of Carl Barks.

Typically my grandmother would read these comics to me and I’d imprint the dialog and captions in my brain, replaying them as I looked at the pictures over and over again.

Barks never wrote down to his audience, and his stories covered a vast array of genres, everything from straight domestic comedy to oddball adventures to screwy crime stories.

Donald and his nephews encountered dinosaurs more than once (another big favorite of mine), and Uncle Scrooge setting out to explore the asteroid belt in order to find a new home for his fabulous money bin was another tale I loved literally to pieces, but A Christmas For Shacktown remains my all time favorite graphic novel.

I’ll concede there are better graphic novels, but none of them warm my heart the way that Christmas story does.

Barks showed it’s possible to combine heart (not to be confused with sentimentality or =yuch!= schmaltz), vivid characters, and strong, intricate narrative.  His plots where typically filled with unexpected twists and turns but his characters were always deeply involved in them, not just along for the ride.

He’s one of the greatest storytellers in the 20th century, and his work remains timeless enough to last for several centuries to come.

. . . 

Ray Bradbury

The first Ray Bradbury story I remember encountering was “Switch On The Night” in its 1955 edition, read to my kindergarten class towards the end of the school year.

This would place the event sometime in the spring of 1959.

“Switch On The Night” captivated me because it was the first story I’d ever heard that showed what could be seen in the dark that couldn’t be seen in the day.

Even as a child, it made me realize the night wasn’t scary, but contained wonders and insights we miss in the harsh glare of day.

I don’t recall if the kindergarten teacher told us the name of the author, and if she did it didn’t stick, but boy howdy, the story sure did!  Did it open the doors of the night for me, or was I already inclined to be a night person and it simply confirmed that as a valid identity?

I dunno, but I’m typing this right now at 12:24am.

And the thoughts Bradbury planted in little Buzzy boy’s brain stayed and grew and flowered, as you can read in my poem, “The Magic Hours Of The Night”.

The next time I encountered Ray Bradbury’s writing was in grammar school, certainly no later than junior high.  I was already interested in science fiction by that point, and had read “The Pedestrian” in one of my school English books (we weren’t taught the story in class; the teacher skipped over it for whatever reason but I read it anyway then re-read it and read it again and again).

Anthony Boucher’s ubiquitous 2-volume A Treasury Of Great Science Fiction was in my grammar school library and in it was Bradbury’s “Pillar Of Fire” (which I would later learn was one of his alternate Martian Chronicles and a crossover with Fahrenheit 451) and in that story he offered up a veritable laundry list of outré and outlandish fiction to be tracked down and read, authors to dig up and devour.

Oh, man, I was hooked.

So of course I began looking for all the stories and writers Bradbury listed in his short story but I also began looking for Bradbury’s own work and before you could say, “Mom, can I get a subscription to the Science Fiction Book Club?” I’d read The Golden Apples Of The Sun and A Medicine For Melancholy and R is For Rocket never once dreaming that at some point in the future the roadmap Ray plopped down in my lap would eventually lead to us being co-workers (separate projects, but the same studio at the same time) and friends.

There is a beautiful yet deceptive simplicity to Ray’s work, and even though he wrote his own book on writing (The Zen Of Writing) that has lots of good insights and professional tricks & tips, he himself wasn’t able to explain how he did it.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a good Ray Bradbury parody.

I’ve seen parodies that clearly are intended to evoke Ray Bradbury, but only in the same way a clumsy older relative might evoke Michael Jackson with a spasmodic movement one vaguely recognizes as a failed attempt at a moonwalk.

But, lordie, don’t think we didn’t try to emulate him, and while none of us fanboys ever came close, I think a lot of us did learn that less is more, that the right word carries more impact than a dozen paragraphs, and that there’s magic in even the most ordinary of things.

And of course I discovered the film and TV adaptations of his work, and in discovering them I also discovered that there are some things that just can’t be translated from one media to another, and that the light, effortless appeal of Ray’s work on the page (paper or pixel) can at best be recaptured with a good audio book reader but even the best dramatic adaptions -- even those by Ray himself -- are cold dead iron butterflies compared to the light and lively creatures flying about.

So eventually I stopped trying to write like him, and instead picked up the valuable lessons of mood and emotion making an impact on a story even if the plot didn’t make much logical sense.

Decades later I would become a fan of opera, and would learn the philosophy of all opera lovers:  Opera doesn’t have to make logical sense, it just has to make emotional sense.

Ray Bradbury, opera meister.

. . . 

H.P. Lovecraft

As noted above, Bradbury’s “Pillar Of Fire” tipped me to numerous other writers, first and foremost of which turned out to be Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

Okay, before we get any further into this, let’s acknowledge the woolly mammoth in the room:  H.P. Lovecraft was a colossal asshat racist.

He was a lot of other terrible things, too, but racist is far and ahead of the rest of the pack.

It’s a disillusioning thing to find people one admired as a youngster or a teen later prove to have not just quirks and eccentricities and personal flaws, but genuinely destructive, harmful, and offensive characters.

I’ve posted on that before, too.

How I wish it were possible to retroactively scale back that hurtfulness, to make them more empathetic, less egregiously offensive (in the military sense of the word), but that ain’t so.

We have to acknowledge evil when we see it, and we have to call it out, and we have to shun it.

Which is hard when one of its practitioners provides a major influence in our creative lives.

Here’s what I liked about Lovecraft as a kid:  He was the complete opposite of Ray Bradbury.

Bradbury’s instinctive genius was in finding the right word, the simple word that conveyed great impact on the story, drawing the reader into the most fantastic situations by making them seem more familiar on a visceral level.

Lovecraft achieved the exact opposite effect by finding the most arcane, bedizened, baroque, florid, grandiloquent, overwrought, rococo verbiage possible and slapping the reader repeatedly in the face with it.

If Bradbury made the unreal real, Lovecraft made the weird even more weirder.

And let’s give this devil his due:  The Strange Case Of Charles Dexter Ward and The Dunwich Horror are two masterpieces of horror and serve as the bridge between Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King, not to mention his creation of Cthulhu and other ancient entities existing beyond the ken of human knowledge…

…oh, wait, that’s where the story simultaneously gets messy yet provides a convenient escape hatch for fans.

While Lovecraft created Cthulhu, he did not create the Cthulhu Mythos.

That was primarily the invention August Derleth, a writer / editor / agent and H.P. Lovecraft’s #1 fanboy.

Lovecraft had some loosely related ideas in his stories and several themes he revisited repeatedly (in addition to racism).

He also had a circle of fellow writers -- including such heavy hitters as Robert “Psycho” Bloch and Robert E. “Conan” Howard -- who picked up on his ideas and, as way of a tribute, incorporated them in some of their stories.

Derleth took all this and Lovecraft’s unfinished manuscripts and short ideas he jotted down and turned it into a whole post-mortem industry, linking all of Lovecraft and other writers’ tales.

And he did a damn fine job of it, too.

So much so that the Cthulhu Mythos has taken on a life of its own, and pretty much anybody can play in that cosmic sandbox now (including Big Steve King and a ton of Japanese anime) and so Lovecraft’s works have an enormous influence on pop culture…

,,,but Howard hizzowndamsef can be -- and is -- cancelled.

Derleth and various biographers downplayed Lovecraft’s virulent racism for decades, and I don’t think Ray Bradbury was ever aware of the scope and tenor of Lovecraft’s bigotry when he name checked him in “Pillar Of Fire” and other stories.

In a similar vein Bradbury didn’t know -- because thanks again to overly protective literary executors, nobody knew -- just how big a racist asshat Walt Whitman was, either.  It is one thing to call shenanigans on a Bill Cosby or a Harvey Weinstein or a Donald Trump because their egregious behaviors were noted long before they were held accountable, but quite another to do so on a creator who died while hiding their most awful behavior from thousands if not millions of fans who felt inspired and uplifted by their work.

It’s one thing to call out a contemporary bigot and not support them by not buying their work, it’s quite another when their bigotry has been shielded from view and fair minded, decent people have used their work to draw inspiration into their own creativity.

Of course, I had no way of knowing all this when I was in junior high and seriously began tracking down Lovecraft’s work.  

He possessed a flair of the horrific and unearthly that to this day is hard to match (but easier to parody).  He was a tremendous influence on my early writing (truth be told, I zigzagged between Bradbury’s stark simplicity and Lovecraft’s overarching verbosity, giving my early oeuvre a rather schizophrenic style) and the ideas he sparked still reverberate to this day.

If only he hadn’t been such a giant %#@&ing asshat racist …

. . . 

Harlan Ellison

In a way, I’m glad neither Harlan nor his widow Susan are alive to read this.

I cherished Harlan as a friend and greatly admired his qualities as a writer.

But damn, by his own admission he should have been thrown in prison for aggravated assault on numerous occasions (he was courts martialed three times while in the Army).

We’re not talking about arguments that spiraled out of control until a few wild punches were thrown, we’re talking about Harlan by his own admission stalking and ambushing people, knocking them unconscious or causing grievous bodily harm.

We’re talking about sexual abuse and humiliation.

We’re talking about incidents he admitted to which if true put people in life threatening situations.

And yet ironically, in a certain sense Harlan (a bona fide Army Ranger, BTW) was like the U.S. Marine Corps:  You’d never have a greater friend or a worse enemy.

I became dimly aware of Harlan in the late 1960s as I started diving deeper into literary sci-fi, transitioning from monster kid fandom to digests and paperbacks.  Harlan first caught my attention with his macho prose (years later a similar style also drew me to Charles Bukowski) in stories like “Along the Scenic Route” (a.k.a. “Dogfight on 101”) in which Los Angelinos engaged in Mad Max motor mayhem but soon it became apparent the macho posturing was just a patina, that the heart and soul of much of the work reflected great sensitivity and often profound melancholy (ditto Bukowski).

Harlan was a fighter, and again by his own admission, he acknowledged in his later years that he was not a fighter because his cause was just, but rather sought out just causes because he knew he would be fighting regardless of his position, yet possessed a strong enough moral compass to point himself in the direction of a worthy enemy…

…most of the time.

He hurt and offended a large number of innocent and some not-so-innocent-but-certainly-not-evil people.

He also helped and encouraged a large number of others, people who had no idea who he was, people who had no way of adequately reciprocating his kindness and generosity.

He defended a lot of defenseless people.

He also mistakenly defended a lot of terrible people.

If someone tells me Harlan was a monster, I’ll agree:  Monstre sacré.

What made his writing sacred was that no matter how outlandish the situation, Harlan dredged up from the depths emotions so strong as to be frightening in their depiction.

Skilled enough not to lose sight of humanity, outlandish enough to conjure up ideas and emotions most people would shy away from, Harlan hit adolescent Buzzy boy like an incendiary grenade.

Unlike my first three literary influences, Harlan was and remained active in the fannish circles where I was circulating at the time.  He regularly wrote letters and columns for various fanzines, including a few I subscribed to.

In a literary sense he stood, naked and unashamed, in full view of the world, and that willingness to go beyond mundane sensibilities is what made his work so compelling.

He certainly fired me up as an adolescent writer, and proved an amalgam of Bradbury and Lovecraft that got my creative juices flowing in a coherent direction.

I don’t think I ever consciously tried to imitate him in my writing, but I sure learned from him, both in how to charge a story with emotion and how to fight for what’s right regardless of the blow back.

I loved him as a friend.

But, damn, Harlan…you could act so ugly...

. . .

H. Allen Smith

Who?

Most of you have never heard of H. Allen Smith, and that’s a damn shame.

I’d never heard of him either until I stumbled across a coverless remaindered copy of Poor H. Allen Smith’s Almanac in a Dollar General Store bin in Tennessee in the late 1960s (it was a memorable shopping expedition:  I also purchased Thomas Heggen’s Mister Roberts and Let’s Kill Uncle by Rohan O'Grady [pen name of June Margaret O'Grady Skinner]).

Reading Smith’s editorial comments (in addition to his own essays and fiction he edited numerous humor anthologies) I realized I’d found a kindred soul.

Smith had a very conversational tone as a writer; his prose seemed off the cuff and unstructured, but he slyly used that style to hide the very peculiar (and often perverse) path he led readers down.

He sounded / read like a garrulous guy at the bar, one with a huge number of charming, witty (and delightfully inebriated) friends in addition to his own bottomless well of tall tales, pointed observations, and rude jokes.

Of all the writers mentioned above, that style is the one I most consciously tried to emulate, and one I seem to have been able to find my own voice in (several people have told me I write the same way I talk, a rarity among writers).

Smith was hilarious whether wearing an editor’s visor or a freelancer’s fool’s cap.  If you know who H. L. Mencken was, think of Smith as a benign, better tempered version of that infamous curmudgeon (and if you don’t know, hie thee hence to Google and find out).

Compared to my other four influences, Smith didn’t need to add the fantastic to his fiction:  The real world was weird and wacky and whimsical enough.

A newspaper man turned best selling author, Smith became among the most popular humorists of the 1940s-50s-60s…

…and then he died and everybody forgot him.

Part of the reason they forgot is that he wrote about things that no longer seem relevant (TV cowboys of the early television era, f’r instance, in Mr. Zip) or are today looked upon askance (and with justifiable reason; the ethnic humor in many of his anthologies may not have been intended as mean spirited, but it sure doesn’t read as a celebration of other cultures, viz his succinct account of an argument following a traffic accident between two native Honolulu cabbies rendered in pidgin:  “Wassamatta you?”  “’Wassmatta me’?!?!?  Wassamatta you ‘Wassamatta me’?  You wassamatta!”).

I’m sure I picked up a great many faults from Smith, but Smith also had the virtue of being willing and able to learn and to make an effort to be a better person today than he was yesterday, and better still tomorrow.

I’ve certainly tried applying that to my life.

Smith’s style was also invoked -- consciously or not -- by other writers and editors, notably Richard E. Geis, the editor of the legendary sci-fi semi-prozone, Science Fiction Review (among other titles).  Smith died before I could meet him, but while I never met Dick Geis face to face we were pen pals for over 40 years.

Geis certainly sharpened specific aspects of my writing style, but the real underlying structure came from H. Allen Smith.

Smith’s work is hard to find today (in no small part because whenever I encounter one in the wild I snap it up) but I urge you to give him a try.

Just brace yourself for things we might consider incorrect today.

. . . 

So there’s my top five. 

With the exception of Carl Barks and Ray Bradbury, none of them are without serious flaw or blemish (though Smith seems like a decent enough sort despite his fondness for X-rated and ethnic humor).

In my defense as an impressionable child / teen, I was not aware of these flaws and blemishes when I first encountered their writing (primarily because in many cases efforts were made to hide or downplay those aspects).

The positive things I gleaned from them are not negated by the negative personal information that came out later.

I can, for the most part re the more problematic of them, appreciate their work while not endorsing their behavior.

Ellison can only be described in extremes, but his fire and passion -- when directed in a positive direction -- served as a torch to light new paths (his two original anthologies, Dangerous Visions and Again, Dangerous Visions, pretty much blew the doors off old school sci-fi and belatedly dragged the genre kicking and screaming into the 20th century).

Lovecraft I can effectively ignore while finding entertainment value in the Cthulhu Mythos.

But I must acknowledge this isn’t the same for everyone.

For example, as innocuous as I find H. Allen Smith, if a woman or a member of a minority group said, “I found this in particular to be offensive” I’d probably have to say, yeah, you’re right.

But I can still admire the way he did it, even if I can no longer fully support what he did.

. . . 

By the time I reached high school, I’d acquired enough savvy to regard to literary finds a bit more dispassionately, appreciating what they did without trying to literally absorb it into my own writing.

I discovered for myself the Beat generation of writers and poets, the underground cartoonists of the late 60s and 70s, Ken Kesey, Joseph Heller, Philip K. Dick, Ursula K. LeGuin, and a host of others, some already alluded to.

Some, such as the Beats and Bukowski, I could enjoy for their warts and all honest self-reflection.

Yes, they were terrible people, but they knew they were terrible people, and they also knew there had to be something better, and while they may never have found the nirvana they sought, they at least sent back accurate reports of where they were in their journeys of exploration.

By my late teens, I’d become aware enough of human foibles and weaknesses -- every human’s foibles and weaknesses, including my own -- to be very, very cautious in regarding an individual as admirable.

While I will never accept creativity as an excuse for bad behavior, if a creator is honest enough and self-introspective enough to recognize and acknowledge their own failings, it goes a long way towards my being willing to enjoy their work without feeling I’m endorsing them as individuals.

It’s not my place to pass judgment or exoneration on others bad behavior.

It is my place to see that I don’t emulate others’ bad behavior.

Every creator is connected to their art, even if it’s by-the-numbers for-hire hack work.

Every creator puts something of themselves into the final product.

And every member of the audience must decide for themselves if that renders the final product too toxic to be enjoyed. 

    © Buzz Dixon

[luciferpens]

Another one? || Ava & Levi

What: Levi and Ava having a chat and walking to Ava’s work Where: Through the streets of Icaria When: July 12. 8:30am

@icarialex

Thinking that maybe Levi had some of his own things to work  on before he could make things right with Gianna, the man made his way towards the town’s therapist. Talking to a shrink wasn’t exactly high on his to-do list, but he would feel like utter shit if he told the woman to work on herself, but didn’t do the same. He needed help with communicating and just letting go of his past instead of letting it haunt him. As he was walking towards the house that he was told he could find the woman, he actually spotted her outside. Well, at least he assumed that was her, or else she had some creepy person tending to her flowers. “Ava,” he asked politely. “I’m sure this isn’t how you do things, but I was wondering if I could schedule an appointment with you.”

Ava has taken to spending her mornings outside in her garden, she either read, painted or tended to the things within it. Today it was the latter, an audio book played on a bench a few feet away from her as she picked at the weeds. Hearing her name she slowly glanced up and smiled at Levi. She had seen the man around the island but they hadn’t spoken all to much, enough she would call him an aquantince, but not much more. “Levi” she said raising a hand in greeting, it was covered in dirt. “Not normally,” she started, standing up and brushing the dirt off her hands and onto her apron. “Sounds like you have a lot on your mind,” she motioned for him to follow her to the side door, once there she opened the door and stepped inside to wash her hands. “You caught me a bit early, and I don’t have an appointment first thing today, if you want, we can talk while we walk to my work, and you can take the first appointment of the day.” she offered with a smile.

The man shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders slightly at the idea of having a lot on his mind. It wasn’t much more than usual, but he also wasn’t used to the idea of talking to someone about his problems. All of his life he carried his problems on his shoulders, and there is a lot he kept deep down. Still, he couldn’t tell someone to work on themselves and not do the same, so with a breath he nodded. “I guess. I mean, no more than normal, but I just want to try something different since the old shit ain’t working.” He was thankful that Ava was such a kind person, and he happily nodded his head. “Yeah, that would be cool. I can wait out here if you want.”

“You guess” she repeated as she peeled the apron off of her and hung it on the hook just outside the door. “If you say so, normally I’d assume someone comes to me when they have a lot on their mind. It’s okay to be overwhelmed by it all” she motioned for him to follow her in, “Sit sit, I need to change it’ll take only a minute, there’s water bottles in the fridge, feel free to grab one for the walk.” she made her way to the staircase and smiled at him before dating upstairs. It wasn’t a long walk, on the contrary the island was tiny you could walk the whole of the populated area in under an hour, then the rest was mountains, wine fields and farmland, but it was still a Grecian sun. So it was hot. She quickly changed clothes and made her way back downstairs in a more respectable outfit, a simple summer dress but it wasn’t covered in dirty. She returned downstairs a few minutes later, a light dusting of makeup over her face. “did you get some water?” she asked as she picked up her purse and motioned for him to follow once again.

“It’s more like I’m used to dealing with things by myself, but after a conversation with someone I really care about where I told her she needed to work on herself, I thought I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t try to be my best self too, you know,” he asked in a voice that almost sounded shy. He was already talking about more feelings with someone than he usually felt comfortable. It was crazy how love for a girl could get someone to do all kinds of weird things. He nodded his head in response to her instructions and moved to the fridge to grab a bottle. Water wasn’t something he drank enough of, but he was trying to get better at it. Last thing he wanted was a kidney stone. That looked like it hurt like a bitch. Once he had the water, he sat on the couch and rested the ankle of his right leg on his left knee. It didn’t take long for Ava to make her way back down though. “I did,” he said kindly as he waved the bottle to show. Then, he was up and following again. “Thanks for talking to me on the short notice, Ava. I know you’re pretty busy usually.”

Ava shook her head as she lead them out of the room and slowly made their way towards her work, "It's not a problem, I'm happy to get you in, even if its because you're feeling a bit of guilt" She smirked as they walked, "Is there anything in particular you know you want to work on?" she asked raising an eyebrow, "Or want to talk about?" She was used to people having a general idea of why people came to her, even if it was just because they were having an issue with xy or z. But coming in totally blind -- without even knowing a bit about Levi was a bit odd.

“Yeah, I want to work on letting go of my past,” he answered easily. That was always his problem, and it had gotten much easier to say. Talking about what he wanted to let go was another thing though. “I’m not proud of who I was growing up. Up until I was almost seventeen I was a thug. My mom was with the biggest gang leader in Chicago, and he raised me in his spitting image. I strapped my first gun at twelve, and almost beat a guy to death with a brick at fourteen just because he was dealing on my turf. I’ve never been able to let go of it all,” he answered before losing the guts to do so. He followed her as she led the way to her office. At least now she knew what he wanted to focus on.

Her attention shifted from the road they were walking on to him when he spoke, "What in your past are you holding onto?" she asked. As he started to talk she nodded her head taking in the bit of his past that he was willing to speak on and storing it away. It made a bit more sense of the man walking next to her, the little things she had picked up on in their interactions, the way he watched the world and moved through it. "That is a lot you're holding onto. But I'm very proud of you for being able to talk about it openly with me."  Ava turned to walk them down the alley that she usually took as a shortcut every morning to work, however, that morning she didn’t seem to ever appear out of that alley. In fact, she didn’t make it to any of her appointments that morning, and Levi never opened his shop. It was just as if the two vanished into thin air.

[jojoreadwhat]

you're all in my hands tonight, tonight I'm a rock 'n' roll star. / honey & smoke - m.h. x OFC story

Four Days Later, On A Friday.

Matty's POV

Computer Education had already given me a sour taste in my mouth and I only sat through two of its lectures. One because I knew majority of what was listed on the slides Professor Nolan was scheming through. I really had no explanation why I applied at UNI in the first place. I had high hopes that the tapes the boys and I sent into Capital Records would hit a soft spot. Sending us on a one way trip to success, where none of these qualifications would matter as long as I wrote out the music.

Then again if it all went down hill where I'd arrive at my flat with a box of tapes with the word 'denied' repeatedly stamped over it like fragile, even though my heart would be the fragile piece in that box. It would open the door behind the scene, the little paper of a degree with my name. A ticket of being able to tweak the shitty tunes on the radio that replayed like the TV movies do on Sundays.

Two, Professor Nolan was a bit of a drag. A fine dapper looking gentlemen in his early fifties. His hair slick back dirty blonde with what looked like emerald eyes the last time I stood close. A close shaved beard that extenuated his sharp jaw line. Dressed to the nines that if you seen him on the streets, you would've thought he had millions and a white collar type business. Even though, his Gucci navy suit that my father had exactly and bought for fifteen hundred dollars could make you believe he sat on a green mountain of dollar signs.

I felt his personality and aura resembled a present me. Barely in tune with all the new things happening but completely in tune with the young ladies that gave any advantages to pass. But in his case the young ladies could pass as daughters if the sucker had any.

"Open Audio Access on your laptops." He commanded, changing the slides that was accompanied with taps and clicks from everyone following along. I sighed to myself, everything that was on those poorly designed boards. I had edited and achieved on a new track the boys and I had recorded last night.

I slouched back in my seat, listening to Nolan's cocky Mr. Know-It-All demeanor. His degrees decorating the back of his desk fact it in that he knew more. Only giving him the approval of having Professor in front of Nolan instead of Mister.

++

After commenting on Mindy's plaid skirt, Professor Feast-A-Lot finally dismissed us.

I still had a class within the hour, just some simple music class that I signed up for the laughing matter. Always stating my answers to bands I drowned myself in as the other students wanted to cuss me out. Sighing to themselves, like that mop got the spill of answers.

With the time I had between I decided to get some coffee. The tea I had earlier with George talking about his night wasn't living up to it's strong expectations. Even though the class I just left could stand as a contender of an explanation.

I walked with the rush of the hundreds in the halls, making my way to left wing lounge and turning the corner of muraled up wall, covered in vibrant flowers and weird shapes from the art program.

Waiting at the counter I turned to scan the little lounge, just many studying with their textbooks as heads. Some talking to another. Just the common vibe of any little coffee shop you stepped your foot into.

One of them sticking out like a sore thumb.

Lucy.

Writing in her leather bound journal that rested on her crossed legs, playing with the slight tear in her in the hem of her playful colored dress.

Relaxed and looking out the window on the purple wing-back in the cafe lounge. Watching the shades of orange, red and yellow converse against the blue sky. Admiring her side profile, a high cheek bone with a light dusting of blush against her milky skin, her perfectly rounded jaw. Her lashes curled with a coding of mascara that complimented her baby blues.

I watched as she grazed her bottom rosy lip with the back of her pen in thought.

The red headed barista asked for the second time what I wanted before realizing that she was even speaking. Finding it hard to take my eyes off the scenery near the window. I ordered my black coffee, then pointed out Lucy who looked disappointed in the last drops of her cup. Dark roast, light with vanilla, sugar and two shots of the sleep she had lost the night before.

--------------------------------------------

Lucy's POV.

I was finding myself becoming a frequent patient with my therapeutic glances of the vibrant trees and the sounds of the espresso machine. Sitting in the same wingback, looking about the window, stuck in what I was going to jot in my journal next. My first week of being in London and enduring classes was wrapping up, nothing worthy had happened yet to write about and I was finding myself running around a writer's block.

As much as I wanted my creative juices to keep blending. I couldn't complain about how things were going. University has been so far treating me well. I've met a good handful of my professors in Week A, many have taken a liking to me which I couldn't quite grasp. But it wasn't a bad feeling to know about, plus Professor Jones really liked my thesis of A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Putting a good word into the librarian of the Uni's library and landing me a interview for Monday.

Things at the university housing with Liz and Abby was going pretty well too. I was growing more fond of them by the minute, both interested in the same type of books, music and films. Liz was a bit realistic and logic about life, which kind of put a damper on things if you were trying to live in a fantasy world with reality biting you in the ass. Then Abby was more free spirited and self aware of what made an individual very much happy, even when the world was not so happy.

Then lastly, home. I finally Skyped my brother Eric and my dad. It was early for them but quite late for me. But in all I was mixed with emotions, both joyful and sad that I wasn't home. They are doing well so far.

I sighed to myself, resting my leather bound on my lap and retreating my blue eyes to the shades of orange, red and yellow. Reaching for the coffee I had finished moments ago, but reluctant to get up and grab another.

But that was before one was brought to me instead. By another thing that I had happened to come across this week.

"Am I intruding?" The English native that I met my first night here had greeted, handing me the warm paper cup with pretty botanical flowers repeated. I shook my head, gesturing my free hand to the wingback across.

Matty sat down, folding his long legs over one another. His eyes meeting mine, smiling softly as his mouth indulged in a sip. Giving me a few moments to admire before another word.

He wasn't wearing his glasses today but his hair was the same as the night I met him. Pulled back into a bun with loose curls shaping out his face. My eyes leading down to his lined out jaw. His collarbones, the tattoo that always made an appearance no matter what type of shirt he wore this week. To the lasting hole over his knee.

I was broken from my stare when he had chuckled, possibly figuring out that I was staring long.

"Anything new?" He asked, his eyes gesturing to my open leather bound. I shook my head, slowly closing it against my knee before my eyes met his again.

He looked at me surprised and in disbelief, "So the storyteller doesn't have a story to tell?" He questioned, resting his cup on the table aside us. I shrugged, it was truly hard to believe but as my mind moved fast the world outside of it didn't and I was at a stand still.

"It just been classes, reading and then some." I finished, finally taking a sip of my coffee.

Matty smiled at me again, a smile I could watch curl at the ends of his mouth like a favorite part to a movie. "We may have to change that." He said, looking at me with tricks under his sleeves and me swimming in his over sized sweater.

I had to cut my coffee break short when I realized I had time run to my next class, Woman Studies.

Shortly becoming my favorite class as we debated fundamental rights and she played Kathleen Hanna fronted Bikini Kill winning my anarchy heart.

"Don't forget to read The Second Sex and please have your reasoning's sent in by 12 AM on Monday." She dismissed. I followed suit with the rest of the class as I packed away my things for the weekend.

Making my way to the hall to get lost in the hundred of others trying to head out and not miss the next Tube coming by. The boy in a leather jacket that I was sharing a coffee with an hour earlier was leaning against the wall next to the door.

His devious smirk gracing upon his face, "I'm feeling like you're onto something." I commented, a small smile plastering across my cheeks. Matty rippled a contagious laugh that I could listen to like an album on my turntable.

"Can't a gentleman just walk a lady home safely?" He remarked.

++

"No! That's a lie!" I laughed, hitting Matty's forearm lightly. We had moved onto music since Matty offered to walk me home. And let's just say we had a few differences.

Matty loved older music, which I did too. But I found Prince to be a bit cooler than MJ. Which didn't sit well with Matty. "Have you heard the magic in Rock With You?" He mentioned, "It's fucking legendary!" It was so funny to see him go off, but I never said I didn't like the man! I knew how the sounds had your hips moving. I was just a Purple Rain kind of girl.

Matty stood in front of me, walking backwards down the sidewalk.

Girl. Close your eyes... He began singing, moving his hips to the beats that played out in his head. Taking my hand, and pulling me close.

Let that rhythm get into you, don't try to fight it. Placing one hand above my hip, the other still in mine. Directing my hips into a sway, as his voice hit me like sweet serenity.

He went on, and I was enjoying every bit of it. Music was his muse like books were mine and he wasn't ashamed to show it. His hips showing that he never stopped moving either.

We had arrived to the front of my flat, Matty belting more songs of MJ.

"I have to get in," I mentioned, not really wanting to do so. Matty's lips kept moving "Not until you change your mind." Singing in the measures of Don't Stop Till You Get Enough.

I chuckled, still dancing with him till I finally caved in. "Alright, Michael Jackson is better." I confessed, meaning every word that fell from my mouth. He just chuckled, pulling me closer and bringing his lips to my ear.

"I think you're lying" his warm breath grazing my lobe. Sending chills down my spine. I went to protest when Liz and Abby got out of their car. Interrupting our manifest. They just softly smiled, saying Hello before retreating up the porch. I looked up at Matty, who still had his hand around my waist.

Matty pulled away with a soft but questionable expression on his face. I wondered what was on his mind.

"Come watch us play tonight." He said, "The boys and I are playing at the bar George's bartends in. I'd like to see you there."

Many different excuses ran through my mind. Studying, catching some sleep, watching the same three episodes of The Office, outline my far along memoir that would be a flop. Just a rush of things that could've fallen from my mouth.

"Alright, sounds like fun." Happened to be the better option.

Matty's smirk turn a bit shy, looking to the ground before he looked back up at me.

"I'll pick you up at 6?" He questioned, I nodded. Still confused on why I was agreeing to this extravaganza in the first place. A smile gracing his face once more before turning on his Vans to head back to where his road led him.

"See you soon, Blue."