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wait (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader) 18+
first and foremost! this is part of my boyfriend's dad!joel series and takes place after "words". this won't really make sense if you haven't read that one! it's so crazy to me how this started out as a silly little smutty drabble and somehow became this. this one's kind of heavy (read the warnings!!) but i promise that things won't stay this angsty forever. at its root this story is supposed to be smutty and fun and i promise there will be more of that in the future. i hope you enjoy it and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 summary: it's been a month since your boyfriend discovered your relationship with his father and a month since you've seen joel. it's starting to take its toll. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: daddy kink, unprotected p in v sex, sexting, comeplay, angst, allusions to past trauma, shitty family dynamics (addiction & verbal abuse), panic attacks word count: 3.2k
i miss you
it's the only thing you've thought about texting him for about a month, a text you always type out and then erase a few moments later. it's something you swore to yourself that you wouldn't do no matter how lonely you got. he'd said he needed time, and you want to give it to him. and yet here you are, leaning against the window of your bus home from community college with tears in your eyes, phone in hand, wanting nothing more than to see him. selfish.
it's been one of the loneliest periods of your life. you've known loneliness, felt it throughout most of your childhood, through your adolescence, it's nothing new. but with joel you'd finally begun to feel whole again, like you actually mattered to someone. he looked forward to seeing you, to holding you, being with you. you'd never felt so desired and loved and protected in your whole life.
now you're back to having nothing, no one. it's a harsh reality you're forcing yourself to accept. you still haven't heard anything from your boyfriend - now ex, of course, though there was never any official breakup - and even that's a punch to the gut, an added depth to a loss that you caused.
he's hurting, i hurt him, joel's words repeat in your head. it breaks your heart that he's feeling so guilty, that he feels that he caused this entire thing when it's really your fault. if you weren't such a mess of a person, such a broken human being, the whole thing wouldn't have even happened to begin with. what kind of person sleeps with their boyfriend's father? starts a relationship with him? calls him daddy?
you know you caused this and yet you can't help but miss him so much. it's like he's ingrained himself into your bones somehow, his touch tattooed into your skin. he's all you think about, dream about. you miss being in his embrace, being held by him, whispering daddy in his ear and feeling understood, not judged. you miss his gentle kisses to your nose, the safety of his lap, his arms around your trembling form while he fucked you, took you, made you his.
you stare at the unsent text message and inevitably find yourself scrolling back up to a previous conversation from a few months back, short and simple. texting was never a frequent medium for the two of you, more-so used for you to send him dirty pictures every so often to tease him a bit. you briefly look at the picture, a close-up shot of your bare pussy with some of his come leaking out; absolutely filthy.
still have u inside me daddy
oh baby, so messy. what am I gonna do with you?
you smile at the silliness of it all, the filthiness, but it quickly fades when you remember the reality of the situation again, the fact that your boyfriend had read joel's messages, had definitely seen these texts in particular. he'd called joel a sick man. you don't agree, but you can understand why; if you'd seen a text interaction like this between your own father and a girl half his age... you'd probably have a similar reaction - though the concept of your father showing a woman any affection in the first place is alien in itself.
your bus pulls up to the stop near your house and you get off, slipping your phone back into your pocket and hiking your backpack over your shoulder as you go. it's only a short walk to your house, no more than three minutes, though you usually try to make it a bit longer to delay the inevitable disaster of your home life.
you take it one step at a time, slowly walking down the darkening street with fresh tears in your eyes. god, you're so lonely. you don't want to go home, don't want to be accosted by your alcoholic father and avoidant mother, your asshole brother who never gives you a break. it's so damn depressing in that house; when you'd first gotten together with your boyfriend you'd been so relieved to finally have somewhere else to go that wasn't school or home, another reason you'd stayed with him for so long despite the relationship being doomed. you should have known it couldn't last.
you'd told joel everything. it's hard to believe sometimes that the connection you shared was strong enough for you to trust him with some of your darkest secrets, the worst things from your past. he knows all about your family, all about what you've been through, had listened to you quietly and earnestly as you cried into his shoulder about the hand life had dealt you. he'd rubbed your back, kissed your forehead, whispered it's okay, and i'm here now, and i'm gonna take care of you, sweetheart. and he did. he did take care of you. he'd done everything right and somehow you still managed to fuck it up.
the lights are on in the house when you arrive at the front gate, though the car is missing from the driveway; this only means that your mother is out late tonight, probably staying with a friend or a lover or whoever she turns to when shit gets bad. you can't blame her - you'd done the exact same thing when you'd actually had somewhere to go - but part of you still aches for that little girl inside you that needs her, wishes she was inside waiting for you, though it's not like she'd do much to help.
your father is definitely home, probably your brother as well. you stand at the gate, gripping the strap of your backpack and deliberating even bothering to go inside. you know you'll be accosted at the front door by either a drunken tirade or bitter argument. it's a no-win situation no matter how you look at it. your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out, grateful for one last brief distraction.
i miss you too, angel. so much.
your eyes go wide, heart stuttering in your chest as you stare at the words.
"fuck," you breathe, "fuck, fuck fuck," you quickly scroll up to confirm your fears - the i miss you text, the one you always erase, the one you make sure to never send - you'd somehow sent it this time, entirely by mistake.
tears are stinging your eyes as you turn on the spot and start walking back and forth in front of your house, running your hand through your hair in disbelief while you stare at joel's text. you fucking idiot. what the fuck have you done? what happened to giving him space? you stupid fucking bitch. you absolute loser. you're suddenly berating yourself the exact same way you know your father and brother will berate you if you go in the house now. you can already picture it - them seeing your tear stained cheeks, the puffiness of your eyes, the words they'll throw at you to hurt you even more, make you feel small.
fucking bitch. fucking loser. fucking idiot.
your breathing is becoming more and more erratic the longer you pace. you can't go in now, not after this, not after seeing that he misses you too and being so fucking close yet so far away. all you can suddenly think about is all those wasted moments at his house, spending so much time with your asshole boyfriend when you could have been with joel, been loved instead of tossed aside like garbage.
god, if you could only hear his voice. if you could just talk to him for one minute before you have to go into this godforsaken hellhole.
before you even fully understand what you're doing, you're hitting the call button and bringing the phone up to your ear.
he answers on the first ring.
"h-"
"i can't do this anymore," you gasp out through a sob, not even bothering to let him say anything, "joel, i can't do it, i miss you so fucking much it hurts."
"babygirl," he breathes, voice rough and deep and gorgeous and familiar, sweet like honey in your ear, "where are you? are you okay?"
and that's enough to break you.
you feel the tears begin to stream down your face, hot and unrelenting. you shake your head even though he can't see you, throat bobbing through repetitive gasps, "no, i'm not okay," you blubber, "da- fuck, joel, i- i can't do this, i can't be by myself anymore. i'm - " you don't even know where this is coming from, voice muddled, "i'm so lonely. i can't do it anymore, i can't. please, i can't."
he makes a devastating sound at your words, something between a sob and a gasp, "where are you?" he repeats, voice full of concern, "where are you, baby? i'm gonna come get you."
"the bus stop by my house," you manage to tell him through your tears, reaching the little bench and situating yourself on it without an ounce of hesitation, "i was- i was gonna go home but," another sob rips through your throat, "but they're home and i- i can't- i can't take it anymore, joel. i don't wanna be there anymore, i can't be there."
"you stay where you are, you hear me?" you can hear movement on the other line, the rattle of keys, footsteps, "don't go home, babygirl, i'm comin'. i'll be there in ten minutes."
"okay," you whisper, trying to catch your breath, "okay."
"deep breaths, baby, remember?" and you do remember; he'd taught you some exercises to help in situations like this, when you feel like the world is falling apart around you and you're just getting smaller and smaller, disappearing into nothingness. he'd held your hands while you'd sat in his lap, eyes closed as you both matched each other's breathing, melted into one another. "in and out, babygirl, that's it. real slow, count for me."
"i r-remember," you manage to hiccup, squeezing your chest with your other hand and trying to ground yourself.
the wait is excruciating, no matter how short, and no matter the fact that joel is on the other end trying to calm you. you sit on the bench with a hand on your heart and the other on your stomach, listening to joel count to five over and over, phone upturned on your thigh.
"big breath in. one...two...three...four...five," he says through the muffled sounds of traffic and wind, "big breath out. one...two...three...four...five." over and over and over again, "i'm turnin' the corner, baby, i'm almost there," he says after about ten minutes of this, "you see me, honey?"
you look up to find his headlights, getting brighter and brighter as they approach. you shakily sit up from the bench, breath coming out much less erratic now, "y-yes," you whisper.
seconds later the car is pulling up in front of you and he's jumping out, not even bothering to shut the door behind him as he dashes around it. it's been so long since you've seen him that it's jarring to suddenly have him in front of you, sprinting toward your small and shaking form with his jacket undone, shoes mismatched, glasses askew. you catch a glimpse of his expression, concerned and upset - are those tears? - before he scoops you up into his arms and pulls you in close to him.
"i'm here," he tells you, voice rumbling through his chest against your cheek, solid and warm, "i'm here now, babygirl, you're okay. you're okay."
and somehow you are.
--
"i'm sorry," is all you can say to him as he drives you to his house, hand holding yours tightly the whole way, "i'm such an idiot, i'm so sorry."
"stop saying that," he repeats for maybe the fourth time, shaking his head and squeezing your hand even more firmly, "you're not an idiot and you have nothing to be sorry about."
you really are okay now, breaths calm and tears not even flowing anymore. instead the guilt and shame and humiliation have taken over, sinking into your skin as you lean back in the passenger seat with your hood pulled up, hiding your face from him.
"i was giving you space," you mutter, "i didn't even mean to text you, it was an accident. i was being stupid, as usual."
"stop it," he says again, "stop being mean to yourself."
you close your eyes and face away from him, "easier said than done."
the two of you drive in silence for a few moments, that is until he asks, "have you eaten?" and you say, "no."
he buys you mcdonalds and doesn't let go of your hand.
--
the house hasn't changed. you hadn't really expected it to; it's not like it's been that long since you were last here. you don't bother even sneaking a peek at your ex boyfriend's bedroom as joel leads you upstairs, curiosity nonexistent.
you're not sure why you expect him to take you into his office, maybe sit on the couch with you and talk. to your surprise he leads you straight past the door, down the hallway to what you can only assume is his bedroom - a place you've never been in all your months of being with him.
"sit down," he tells you softly as he opens the door, pulling you slowly inside and nodding toward the queen sized bed, "i'll get you something to wear."
"okay," you breathe, barely looking at him as you examine the room in front of you, large but cozy, cool colors but a warm atmosphere, framed music posters and blueprints covering the walls - exactly what you'd expect from someone like joel. you shuffle forward and drop your bag at the end of his bed, sitting on the edge of it while he goes to his dresser.
you end up in one of his sleep shirts and a pair of his underwear, loving the feeling of being his again, even if neither of you have actually talked about what exactly this means for your relationship. he helps you change, tugging off your worn-out jeans and the same shirt you've worn for three days in a row, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he pulls off your panties and replaces them with his boxers. it's not sexual, but part of you still longs to pull him on top of you, just feel his weight, smell his cologne.
he pulls back the duvet and helps you climb inside onto your stomach, rubbing your arms and shoulders and releasing some of the tension you've been feeling for the past month. you feel him press another kiss to the back of your neck, pushing your hair out of the way and stroking it gently, giving you all the care and attention you've been aching for. his hands are so big, so comforting and safe, touching you everywhere without any expectations or underlying motive.
"i missed you, daddy," you whisper against his pillow, not sure if he can even hear you, even more unsure whether it's okay to use that word anymore.
he doesn't reply right away, still kneading his thumbs into the base of your back and massaging you gently. you hear him inhale and exhale deeply a few times, like he's biding time while he figures out what to say.
"sorry," you wince, "joel."
he releases you then, helps you turn over so you're on your back and peering up at him with uncertainty. he sits on the edge of the bed and reaches down to thumb your cheek, eyes sad and tired.
"i wanna be that for you, sweetheart," he murmurs, brow furrowing, "i do. i want it more than you even realize," he takes a breath, biting down on his lip briefly, "i just... i need you to tell me somethin'. be honest with me now."
your heart skips a beat, "what?"
"when you said you loved me..." his voice breaks a bit and you ache to reach for him, cup his cheek and hold him close, "was it because of what we've been doin'?" he seems to reassess his words, shaking his head slightly, "i mean, did it...did you actually mean it? or was it... was it just part of the game?"
you stare at him for a few seconds, lips parting and eyes going slightly wide. without a second thought you do exactly what you'd just been thinking about, reaching up to place your hand against his face, feeling his scruff beneath your palm. he leans in and takes a breath, peering into your eyes with a yearning you can't describe, can only feel.
you shake your head slowly, "joel," you whisper, "it's never been a game."
his eyes close, stuttering out another breath when your thumb strokes his cheek soothingly. unable to hold back anymore, you lean up to capture his mouth in a soft kiss, sweet and tender and familiar. his hand finds the back of your head, pulls you closer, claims you again.
he fucks you slow.
it's never been like this, never has he fucked you the way he fucks you now. you barely speak, just moan and whimper and sigh and melt into each other the way you've never truly been able to, not without prying ears and a time limit hanging over your heads. your hands tangle in his hair while he hits that deep spot inside you, holds you close, buries his face in your neck and breathes you in, pounds into you relentlessly like you'll both come apart at the seams if he lets go.
you're biting it back, trying not to say it as much as you desperately want to, still unsure if this is really want he wants. just tell me what to do and i'll do it. i don't care, i'm yours. he looks into your eyes and you can't help but start crying again, overwhelmed by the warmth of him, the safety. he thumbs your tears and kisses them away.
"say it," he murmurs to you as you both near your inevitable release, the tension building and building as he grabs your face with both hands and fucks you with purpose, with passion, "say it, babygirl, tell me."
you shake your head, suddenly self conscious, suddenly afraid. the feelings from earlier tonight rise back in your chest, making a home in the back of your throat as a sob threatens to rip through it.
"it's okay," he whispers, voice trembling with the speed of his thrusts, "it's okay, honey, i wanna hear you say it," he furrows his brow and releases a groan, so close to the edge, "please, baby, say it. need you to say it."
you pull him close, grip his back, press your lips to his ear, "daddy."
he groans, dark and rough, "that's it," he murmurs, "that's it baby, i'm your daddy. that's right." he pulls back to look at you, eyes meeting yours in a passionate gaze that lasts forever, "say it again."
"daddy," you whine, unable to unlock your eyes from his, lip trembling as you submit entirely to him, "feels so good, daddy."
there's something in his expression you can't place, something in his words that reverberates in your brain like a pinball. say it again... you realize it means more than you'd initially thought. he's not just asking you to say one word - he's asking for three.
"i love you," you cry out just as he presses his thumb to your clit, pushes you over the edge, "i love you."
he comes just as you do, an animalistic sound tearing from his throat as your fingers scramble for purchase at his back, holding him impossibly close to the point where his entire body weight is on top of you, but you don't care. all you can feel is the way his heart beats against your chest, the way his gasps match yours, finding the same rhythm.
you lay there still for what feels like eternity, joel laying on top of you with his cock still deep inside and his forehead pressed against your shoulder. your tears have stopped but you feel the dampness of his own on your skin, hear the gasp he lets out as he sets his emotions free.
"i love you too," he whispers in your ear, breath hot and quick, voice wrecked, "god, i love you so much."
for the first time, you stay the night.
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Okay so for people in diff timezones, it's around 4am on the 13th April for me, so the 11th was about two days ago
But I've been meaning to make a little post
Thursday marked the year anniversary of Smosh's tntl with Starkid. Now I know to some that means absolutely nothing, but to me it's a little special because this means I've now been a proper smosh fan and on smoshblr for around a year now☹️
I would say I REALLY became apart of smoshblr around November when I became shaynse anon and I don't want to sound cringey but I actually believe that I have changed quite a bit since then blogwise and even personalitywise even though its been a couple of months
I guess I just wanted to make a post to say from the bottom of my heart thank you, the mutuals and anons I've gained the past couple of months is a lot compared to me pre shaynse anon. I really found my footing on tumblr and gained a lot more confidence all thanks to this little community 🙂
I will never forget shaynse day, its still CRAZY to me that even one person thought of me, never mind multiple. I remember when that happened (people reaching out to me), I was giddy for days and I was ready to explode because I had nobody in real life to talk to it about😭 So thank you SO much
To anybody that has even liked or reblogged a post of mine, thank you. To anybody that has clicked on my blog and had a little look around, thank you. To anybody that has given me a follow or sent in an ask, THANK YOU. I know it seems small, but even a little interaction truly makes my day. I love this little corner of the internet☹️🫶
Theres a few mutual that I absolutely HAVE to thank, because you guys truly are such a big part of tumblr for me.
(Now, please understand that these are people specific to SMOSHBLR🙏)
@jovenshires, hi bestie🙂 you've genuinely done SO much for me since I sent that silly little ask to you, indirectly or not. I definitely don't think I'd have my little place on smoshblr without you, shaynse anon was A MOMENT. I still think about the Christmas gift you gave to me daily, it genuinely warms my heart sm that you'd think to create something for me☹️ AND YOU THOUGHT OF IT WHILE I WAS STILL ONLY A LITTLE ANON☹️ Thank you SO much for helping me be welcomed into this space🫶
@lilac-hecox, I don't think we've directly spoken a lot? But we interact with eachother quite a bit, and ur blog?? OBSESSED. Anyway recent memory on April 1st I just remember booping the HELL out of ur page and u booping just as much back😭🫶
@wallpaper-inside-my-heart, I genuinely think about the smoshblr december asks SO MUCH. That was such a sweet thing for you to do and I rlly think it brought the fandom sm closer, and it was so kind how you acknowledged like almost everybody's posts almost EVERYDAY. It was so fun talking to you abt our interests🫶
@ancientvamp, hello to my shaynse SOLDIER OMG🫶 We both fill up the shaynse tag SM and I LOVE IT😭 Ur like my no.1 shaynse blog probably, like sometimes I feel we are SO on the same wavelength. I just think ur rlly neat!! 🫶
@bomikalover, HELLO TO ANOTHER SHAYNSE SOLDIER!!! My shaynse bestie!! Your edits are SOOO iconic, and I'm so happy to have been able to let you know chanse saw ur edit, that was literally insane and I was so happy for u☹️ ur just so 🫶🫶🫶
now there are SO MANY PEOPLE I'd LOVE to tag, but I thought I'd narrow it down to just a few that I've properly interacted with. To any mutuals that see this, please don't take offense, not my intention AT ALL!!! In fact, HI HI HI!!! If you'd like, PLEASE reach out or interact with me!! I'd always love to communicate, whether that's in reblogs, comments etc!!
I do actually have a project I want to do as an almost celebration, but I kinda had to scrap and restart my whole idea because it wasn't going how I wanted😭 so bear with! And also I'll probably do something for the anniversary of shaynse day, cause why not🤷♀️
ANYWAY, long story short THANK YOU to all and to smoshblr for being such a welcoming and sweet area on the Internet when everywhere else is often not🫶
-love, shaynse anon
#Eww not me getting sappy#Can't help it#I'm genuinely so sentimental😭#I just thought you guys deserved some thanks!#Never harmful to give a little thanks🫶#shaynse anon#nat talks#shaynse#smoshblr#smosh
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can u give us some bloodborne/souls trivia
omg omg where do I even start. (no, really, where do I even start. the answer would be very different depending on whether you've played the game or no (I shall assume you have not??). also I will only talk about Bloodborne because there are too many DS games lol and Bloodborne's lore is way more interesting.)
ok ok so Bloodborne follows the player's character, The Hunter, who has been transported to and trapped in Yharnam, a city succumbing to the Beastly Scourge - a blood-borne illness that is turning its residents into strange and horrifying beasts. We, The Hunter, hunt them as we attempt to find and understand the source of this illness and put a stop the scourge.
The events of the game seemingly take place over the course of a single night, and the game has distinct stages depending on the stage of the moon. These moon stages affect the world, so no areas are exactly the same if you traverse them again as the night has progressed. For example, some enemies fall asleep, and some NPCs change as they succumb to the illness (or simply madness) as the night advances (such as everyone's favorite NPC, window guy Gilbert)
Bloodborne has a stat called Insight - it measures The Hunter's knowledge of the true world around them, above what mere humans can usually see and understand. The more crazy shit you stumble upon and the more important enemies you defeat, the more your insight grows. The game world that the PC perceives changes depending on how much insight they have - the more insight into the world and its true workings, the more the player can see. For example, previously invisible things become visible, enemies change or appear where they previously would not, things animate and come to life, etc.
The game has 3 possible endings (each with dramatically different implications for The Hunter). Which one the player will get will depend on how they interact with certain items in the game and on the player's own choices. One ending gives one extra super cool boss fight, and one gives 2 extra super cool boss fights hihi
There is a lot of like. cosmic level fuckery going on in Bloodborne. Nothing is as it seems and you should always doubt whether the places you encounter are the real world or no.
Random tidbit but I really love this: one of the objectively coolest and scariest monsters in the game is the Amygdala, named (and modelled) after the amygdala part of the brain which is responsible for processing fear (The Amygdala has a very important role in the lore, which makes all of this brain shit even cooler)
Big for me! The Hunter is canonly non-binary B-) (as shown in the bloodborne comics)
Why Bloodborne slaps and should be played by all:
Epic as shit
Fun. fast and interesting and intense
SP00KY in some parts
GREAT lore. (also very complicated lore. took me so many replays and so many hours of listening to video essays to understand it lol. in its essence it's a great & complicated story of human greed and foolishness, and our insignificance in the great scheme of things).
Strong vibes. Dark and gothic. mmm I love that shit. fuck!
it's all about the Lovecraftian-ism of it all
Cool & sexy outfits (every day I wish I looked like a Bloodborne character)
TRICK WEAPONS
Epic soundtrack (arguably contains the best ever FromSoftware boss soundtrack) (mmm when that Ludwig the Accursed/Ludwig the Holy Blade hits)
It's difficult and I like that. I don't like easy games.
& many more!
#thank you for asking this buddy pal friend i love talking about this#hihihi#anyway this all makes no sense. sorry. what even was the question. why am I typing this all out at 2am#giving a hug and a head pat and a lollipop to you anon#uhh yeah.#in essence:#Bloodborne!! *vibrates*
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no you said to another anon that you would finish the series what’s the point uploading 2 parts with no conclusion!? the least you could do for your writers is finish it!!! you posted a teaser to part 3 so i know you have it. we pay your kofi for stories so why are you lying about which ones we get now?
🤨 okay first of all i don't owe you anything and im saying that kindly not in a rude bitchy way i hope you understand that. i write ff as an activity i enjoy doing, i am not obligated to finish Anything i don't want to.
the first two parts of AH were written as part of a fundraiser for blm donations, something i offered to do and i am so grateful for the individuals who donated through supporting that fic. however, i have mentioned countless times how much i did not enjoy the process of writing AH. the subject matter is hard for me to present because i (ME, the writer!!) do not relate to the characters or their story. do you know how hard it is to write about emotions and reactions you person cannot feel/understand or see in your mind? it feels like banging ur head in a wall or trying to walk through water. you are forgetting im constructing a whole world from nothing and if i've not made the reader feel what i was feeling when writing those scenes... whats the point? all you're going to get is the frustration and disappointment i felt towards myself when writing because im not doing the best i can and i know it. there is so much resistance inside of me towards that story for me personally.
yes, i love all the AH characters but i cannot tell the story the way it deserves to be told. on top of that i had so many rude horrible demands in my inbox to complete the story that it made me want to write it less. im not a mule pumping out whatever you want to see with complete disregard to my personal boundaries – understand that. the final part had no donation attached to it either so im not obligated to publish it.
to all the ppl that loved AH it will be reposted (ONLY the two first parts) on ao3 for you to reread if you'd like. please never send me messages about that story i'll just delete them. i don't want to talk about that au again.
#not answering asks about AH instead like i Do Not Care anymore#its v annoying when u r already struggling to like a body of work and then ppl find a way to make u hate it entirely#and not to be annoying but there was literally s point where i was doing ask my muses and i remember not seeing a single one for AH#idk if I didn't include them in the list or something if i didn't that's my bad#but sending in stuff for them as characters would have really helped ignite the spark to write about them again#a lot of u dont know how to encourage writers#there's a reason i love writing for pb/jock jk so much#its FUN to see u interact with the story and see how you've understand the characters im writing#that's encouraging#not 'I DEMAND U FINISH THIS U OWE ME IT!!' like honestly... think a bit yeah#anyway ah is DISCONTINUED and never to be talked about again#also heads up folks who wanna send in asks being mean/rude to this anon#just dont like really dont i dont want to read that
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troublemaker
― dancer youtubers!lee heeseung x gn!dance major!reader
sparks fly when the top two dancers on youtube collab!
genre: slow-burn fluff, s2l
wc: 3.9k (omg i'm sorry) + 2 twitter pics
warnings: probably some wrong dance terminology, slightly suggestive (the dance is just 😳), short timeskip, it's cheesy please bear with me
part of my youtuber enhypen series, the fifth upload! feel free to read on its own~ ♞──────────────────────────♞
you finish off your last move with your arms wide open, your chest heaving up and down from lack of breath. smiling nevertheless, you know you absolutely love the feeling of getting your breath taken away after dancing because you know it meant you did your best. you walk towards the camera lens and peek at the comments through your open laptop.
"did you all enjoy that?" you ask breathlessly grinning. the flooding comments are filled with compliments from your cover of nct u's boss. however, one comment, in particular, caught your eye as others seemed to reply to it.
heeseung ✔ 2s ago wow that was amazing do you wanna do a collab sometime? 😊
line break insurance you've failed me 5x already
your eyes widen as you let out a gasp. "is that the lee heeseung?" you accidentally say out loud. you wince at the realization of your mistake. the comments are both praising you for your success in getting noticed by the other top dancer on youtuber and relating to your remark.
heeseung ✔ 3s ago haha yes it's me dm me if you want to hear more about it 🤍
"oh wow... this is really cool..." you state before blinking to get you out of your stupor. "well everyone, that's going to be all for y/n's motion of dance today! thank you so much for tuning in, love you!"
you wave goodbye for a few more moments and then shut off the broadcast, closing your laptop as soon as you do. you blink twice and suddenly let out a scream.
you stop with a gasp and cover your mouth with your hands because you cannot believe you forgot that your dance studio isn't the most soundproof of places. "sorry, other dance students..." you whisper to them but more for yourself.
taking a look around your escape, your passion, you can't believe you've made it to where you are, being praised as one of the top dancers on such a vast social media platform like youtube. if anything, you guess it runs in your family, after all, you are related to choi yeonjun, who is considered 4th gen's it boy.
though people were skeptical of you at first when you came on the youtube scene as a dancer after your older brother started taking more to modeling and acting, you quickly proved them wrong by showing them your talent and bloomed from then on. of course, you can't forget to mention the person who skyrocketed just around the same time as you.
and that was the aforementioned lee heeseung. you sigh as you finish packing up your clothes and things to head back to your dorm, glancing out the window to see the sun beginning to set. it seems today was a rare early finish for you.
"i could go for a coffee... i need to finish my classics essay anyway," you mumble to yourself, throwing your bag over your shoulder before hitting the showers and changing into a more casual set of clothes. the finishing touch is a baseball cap that sits snug on your head. tightening the strap on the back and grabbing your backpack and dance bag, you finally take your leave of your beloved dance studio and return the key on the way out. fresh air meets your face, allowing you to take a whiff of the cherry blossoms that have been blooming for a month or so as you make your way to the campus café.
ding ding, the coffee shop's calm doorbell welcomes you as your nose is hit by the sweet smells of freshly ground coffee beans. "welcome!" one of the servers calls at the counter, smiling at your figure that walks closer to order. "what can i get you?"
"hi, may i have..." you scan the menu quickly for a familiar drink. "a honey cinnamon iced latte please?"
"of course, name please?"
"choi y/n," you reply.
if they recognize you, they don't make any notion of it, simply scribbling your name on the plastic cup as you make your payment. you're grateful for the normal interaction and the peacefulness of the café, especially after a surprising stream. "i'll call you when your order's ready, choi y/n-ssi," they inform you with a warm grin.
"thank you," you smile back before going to find a seat. spotting a relatively private area close by with only a pair of boys sitting at the booth, you decide to take the booth two spaces away from them. one boy, you notice, sits taller than the other, but his face is covered by a baseball cap. the other looks like a freshman, his cheeks accentuated by a pair of deep dimples.
as you take your seat, you can't help but think the boy with dimples looks rather familiar but can't seem to place your finger on it. shrugging, you simply begin preparing to write your essay by taking out your laptop and notes from your classics ge. the moment you finish is when you hear your name being called.
"choi y/n-ssi, your honey cinnamon iced latte," the server's voice calls. on your way to receive your awaiting drink, you can finally hear the voices of the two boys sitting two booths down from you.
"did your crush just say choi y/n?" the one with the hat says.
'yes, that's me,' you think to yourself nonchalantly.
"weren't you just watching their stream, heeseung hyung?" another voice says as you pick up your latte and thank the server.
wait, heeseung? as in lee heeseung? it's when you turn around with your drink in hand that you notice the two males looking straight at you. now you're able to make out the features of the boy with the cap, and there's no mistaking it.
"lee heeseung?" you mutter out loud at the same time he speaks out yours.
well, maybe that wasn't what you were expecting today, but hey, life is full of surprises, even if they are one after the other for you. after that unexpected encounter, you and heeseung acquainted yourselves, he invited you to sit with them, and now you're sitting at their table, awkwardly sipping on your latte.
"right, so should i leave?" the other boy, who you found out is studytuber and vlogger yang jungwon (which is why he looked familiar to you), blurts out. you chuckle as heeseung shakes his shoulder lightly. "what? you two clearly have to talk about something, i need to study."
"yea, yea, lover boy. make sure you say bye to your crush on the way out," the male dancer teases, causing the younger one to turn bright red.
"don't call me that, hyung," he mutters before picking up his bag and leaving the booth. sure enough, you watch as jungwon passes by the counter and erupts into a nervous mess the moment the server beams at him.
"ah... so he likes them?" you think out loud.
"yup, it's been almost four months now. i'm the reason he even knows this cafe and that server exists," heeseung mentions, making you nod courteously. he turns his attention back to you with his hand placed under his chin. "but their relationship is besides the point. let's talk about us."
"d-did you have to put it that way?" the forwardness catches you off-guard, and you suddenly have a harder time swallowing a sip of your coffee.
"sorry," he says with a teasing smile. "i just think the collab i mentioned would be good for both of us, and it'll be really fun too."
"i agree, people who like you will come to me and vice versa," you nod. "but do you know what we would be dancing to?"
"so does that mean you're in?" he asks, smile starting to grow on his face. wordlessly, you roll your eyes and hold out your hand for him to shake. that's when his full smile comes out, causing your cheeks to heat up as you think about how much more handsome it makes him look. taking your hand, heeseung shakes it with his vigorously. "alright, dance partner, we have a deal."
after much deliberation and research, the two of you finally agree on troublemaker by the duo hyuna and hyunseung. heeseung suggested this song, stating that he always wanted to do the choreo with somebody and that it's destiny that both males have a name that starts with h and ends with seung. quite frankly, it's not like you could find much anyway, besides some cool music bank mc stages, it is cool that troublemaker was originally an opposite-gender duo in the korean entertainment industry.
the choreography however is an entirely different story. at many points, hyuna's body is touched by hyunseung and vice versa, but if they can do it and stay professional, then you believe you can too. besides, dancing will always be just dancing. heeseung also assures you that if you want, the two of you can just have your hands hovering, which makes you feel relieved to have an understanding partner.
hours pass by, and you and heeseung decide to meet at your usual dance studio daily after all your classes, which wasn't hard because he also frequented the same one.
"i still can't believe we attend the same university," you say aloud as the both of you pack up your laptops and supplies.
"i know right, you would think one of us would recognize the dance studio we go to 24/7, right?" he laughs. "although, i've seen you use a different one sometimes."
"do you really watch my covers and streams often?" you ask baffled. he and you wave the workers goodbye and make your way to the brisk evening air waiting outside as the staff sends you off.
"i do, is that so hard to believe?"
"a little," you reply sheepishly.
"well, let me walk you to your dorm and prove to you how much of a choi y/n stan i am," he boasts, and you let yourself laugh freely as you walk beside him to your destination.
it's strange, knowing a famous youtuber you watched also knew and followed you, but then again, you're not exactly nobody either. when heeseung drops you off, he admits that he actually lives a few floors above you and that you two can walk home together after each rehearsal. it's even stranger, knowing a famous youtuber literally has been on your campus, in the same dorm building as you, and this whole time, the two of you have both been clueless as to the other's existence as an ordinary college student.
speaking of which, he can't be a dance major, right? otherwise, you would've already seen him! these thoughts keep you tossing and turning to the point you don't register when you fell asleep. when you wake up, you feel as if you didn't get any sleep at all, but get up and ready nevertheless, going through another regular day as a dance major.
by the time your classes are over, you walk out of the studio yawning about to stop by your dorm to freshen up and maybe fit in a nap. you're holding a hand over your mouth mid-yawn when a voice starts talking to you.
"good thing i stopped by to get coffee." you open your eyes and close your mouth to see lee heeseung holding two cups of coffee. he's dressed in an oversized white shirt and grey sweatpants, a common dance practice outfit, so why is your heart skipping so many beats. "yo, choi y/n."
"heeseung," you say, still shocked. he hands you the coffee, which is actually the same flavor you got yesterday. "thanks."
"no problem," he replies coolly. "maybe we should take a break before we get to it?"
"i'll be fine, how about we can start watching the choreo?"
"they're always ready to dance," he nods with an impressed smile. "as expected of a dance major."
the two of you walk inside and book a studio for a few hours as you raise an eyebrow at him. "wait, what major are you?"
"music production."
"that makes so much sense!" you say relieved, stepping into the studio room for the umpteenth time. "i was racking my brains wondering what major you were."
"so the famous choi y/n is curious about me?" he smirks. you groan and facepalm in response. "i'm kidding, i'm kidding. let's watch the video on my tablet?"
nodding, the two of you watch carefully, eyes glued to the screen at your respective roles. you hold your breath at some touchy parts but also notice that both idols were able to shine in their solos.
"a few tweaks here and there, and it'll be perfect," heeseung comments once the video is over. "but let's go over some boundaries, yeah? let me know what you're comfortable with and what you're not."
"right," you agree, once again relieved to have such a safe and understanding partner like him. "well, i think i'm okay with you touching my arms, shoulders, and hips like hyunseung did to hyuna. i just need some time to get used to it."
"alright, that sounds good," he says nodding with a hand under his chin. "then for today, i'll just hover my hands over the places they need to be."
"what a gentleman," you tease.
he rolls his eyes playfully at you. "let's start marking."
and so that's what the two of you start on. with the video on the tablet, you go through the motions with the speed lowered, eventually picking up more moves until you're able to follow at the normal speed. as expected of the top two dancers on youtube, the two of you are quick on observing and learning the dance and get done with basic marking within 20 minutes or so.
after marking, you take a quick water break to watch the video again in full detail, officially beginning your first real practice. as promised, throughout the entirety of marking, heeseung has kept his hands to himself, but you've become comfortable enough to have him do a little more.
before you start practicing for real, you decide to speak with him. "hee," you call him as he puts down his water bottle.
"hm?" he confirms that you have his attention, looking up with his large doe-like eyes while wiping his mouth off from some excess water.
"uhm.." you fidget with your top a little before mustering up some courage. "you can do light touches now for the choreo."
"really? are you sure?" you nod at his question, causing him to come up to you and ruffle your hair lightly. you bat his hands away with a pout, smoothing out the mess he made as he laughs at you. "that's great, y/n," he says with a bright smile, unknowingly making your heart beat a little faster as you nod again. in your head, you rush to cover up the physical reaction with an excuse that it's just from the amount of exercise you've done.
the two of you stand in front of the mirror, ready to go. before the music starts, heeseung turns to you and says, "just let me know if i make you uncomfortable at all."
"i'll be fine," you reassure him with a small smile. that's when the song begins, and the sparks start to fly. every move flowed like water, yet every touch between the two of you was like electricity as if the two elements were working together instead of fighting. even though the touches are light, they still put chills up your spine, in a way that you can only describe with the phrase "meant to happen."
was fate moving its course to put this match together, or were you imagining it? you're not sure, but you grin while catching your breath once the first practice is over. falling to the floor softly, you sit with your hands splayed behind you and let out a relieved sigh. "ahh... dancing is so... great!"
heeseung chuckles at your reaction and offers a hand to get you up. "i'm glad you think that because we got a lot more practice ahead of us, partner."
"yup!" you say with a widening smile. the moment you took his hand, you felt an electric jolt that almost made you let go. getting up, you shake it off and barely catch the expression on your dance partner's face. "is something the matter?"
he blinks a bit before he's shaking his head with that charming smirk of his. "nope! let's practice!"
practice, practice, practice. that's how the next few hours go. and just like the day before, heeseung walks you to your dorm building, this time the conversation about how excited the two of you are for the recording.
that's basically how the next four or so days go, now that heeseung came into your life. your daily routine of wake up, eat, class, dance, repeat was shaken by him, because now he was a part of it. it's an indescribable feeling, hanging out with him. the best word, or phrase actually, is the same one you used while dancing with him: meant to be.
so when you finally get to the day of recording, you almost don't want it to end. at least, that's what you're telling your best friend and makeup artist, kim sunoo.
"friend, you're telling me that you and this guy have been following along to..." he tells you to look up as he curls your eyelashes. "a dance like that for four days and you've been getting shocks this whole time?"
"i mean, yeah?"
"y/n, i love you, but you're missing a little something, aren't you?"
"wha-!?"
"pucker up, sweetie, we're making your lips look kissable," sunoo commands. you do an eye-roll but do as he says. "if you don't ask him out or do something by the end of this, you can at least kiss your best shot at a boyfriend goodbye with luscious lips."
he finishes applying the color and asks you to rub your lips together and make that pop sound. "perfect," your best friend compliments. "go out there and get your mans."
"thank you, sunoo!" you say, gazing at your reflection in the mirror and loving the way he accentuated your features. "by the way, you're all talk. you should ask your celebrity crush out when they appear on your channel."
"i'll get there when i get there!" he whines and starts pushing you out of his dorm room. "just go get 'em, tiger."
with that, you make your way to the dance studio where heeseung is waiting for you, dressed in hyunseung's iconic suit with the leopard-patterned blazer. your heart quickens, seeing how much more handsome he looks dressed up, hair slicked back and some makeup done. he looks up upon hearing the door open and his mouth slightly hangs open as well.
the both of you are silent as you approach him, in your equally bedazzling outfit, sheer to mimic hyuna's stage dress. "you look amazing," the two of you say at the same time. stunned at the simultaneous sentence, you two immediately start guffawing at how this was unlike your usual interactions.
"that was so awkward!" you blurt out, unable to contain your laughter.
"yea, not like us at all," he admits while he wipes a stray tear from laughing too hard away. smiling at each other, you admire the way his eyes reflect your image and sparkle. "you ready to get this show on the road."
"ready as i'll ever be." the two of you get into your positions on the opposite ends of the room, and heeseung starts the camera and the music soon after. you take each step slowly to meet him in the middle as he takes your hand and brings it up to his lips to give it a kiss while smirking. you keep your face professional as the two of you take a few steps forward, the back of his fingers curled over the front of yours.
starting back-to-back, you walk forward a bit before the beat drops and heeseung's part begins. you're on autopilot as you dance your fingers from his chest to his shoulders, and then the chorus comes. hips swaying, you're able to feel his hands' light taps on your body as the two of you lose yourself to the music you've danced to hundreds of times this week.
then, it's your killing part as you lipsync hyuna's rap and take bold steps around heeseung's body, ending up behind him to bring your hands over his shoulders and make a scratching movement across his chest. you step towards his side, do your thing, and walk away as if playing hard to get.
you wait for his part during the bridge and make a side glance towards him before moving towards him and performing the hip-heavy part of the chorus together. your partner moves his face up along your arm, taking it in like you're a statue. you then act like you brush him away when heeseung gets close enough. after this second chorus, you're leaving him to do his big solo, watching carefully as he makes his every move precise and crisp yet flow well.
it's the last chorus now, and this time, you can't take your eyes off each other as you finally face one another. you stay drowning in his shades of brown without a single misstep until you have to walk away from him. you wait for him to come towards you, back slightly turned away as he jaunts forward, making his way to be captured by your hand behind his neck.
the last breath of the song is the one where you're supposed to turn your head away as his own chases yours, but this time, you brave forward and lean in close. the music fades away, but all you hear is his breathing, feeling it against your own.
you stay like this, ensnared in each other's arms, forgetting about everything except the person wrapped close to you as you feel his every breath against your lips and every inhale and exhale under your hand. he searches your eyes, looking for some kind of sign. "do you mind if i—"
that was all you needed before you're pressing your lips against his. it only takes seconds for him to kiss you back, moving his hands from their previous position on your hips to hold your face. becoming breathless from dancing was one thing, becoming breathless from kissing heeseung was another thing entirely, it was in a league of its own you note as you pull away and rest your forehead on his.
"we'll have to edit that out," you say after what seemed like ages of taking each other in while chuckling.
"i have a better idea than editing."
"oh, and what's that, handsome?"
"look at you getting all bold, troublemaker," heeseung replies with that smile of his. he shakes his head, moving away from you and taking your hand in his. "how about we go on our first official date as youtube's top dancer couple?"
"that does sound like a better idea," you agree, your own smile widening.
"then let's make it happen, sweetheart."
bonus! - click for full images
taglist: @cha-raena @imjustme-things @misoiishi @rikitaiyaki send an ask to join the taglist! :3c permanent taglist: @fiantomartell
a/n: wow this was a long one!! i'm not sure if i detailed all the movements well, but i hope you all enjoyed it nevertheless <3
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypenwriters#lee heeseung x reader#lee heesseung fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen scenarios#enhypen oneshots#lee heeseung imagines#enhypen heeseung#captured on camera#this came out more detailed than i thought it would be JFAIJFA
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I WANNA HEAR D'S THOUGHTS ON JEN'S QUESTION Spill the beans! You've even got me curious now!
“Do you think Rose is a good person?”
I’ll answer not just Jen’s question, but generally thoughts surrounding D and Rose’s relationship!! It’s gonna be long because I think about this a WHOOOOOOLE lot, and I seriously mean a whole lot,,, so read ahead!
btw, if you think Rose is a bad person and D hates him, that’s where you’re mistaken! IT’S MY STORY MY HEADCANONS SO IF U DONT WANNA READ THIS THEN DONT BRO HJASGJHASHJ
PRE-ETERNATUS, CHALLENGER ARC
Ive mentioned before, but D and the chairman had a fairly good relationship!!
In-game, rose is very interested in the player and talks to you a lot, so honestly not much changes here
D, in his challenger phase, is forcibly very loud and flamboyant. being overly animated and confident, he’s able to keep up with rose who likes to chat and banter with him
When d talks to people, he KNOWS he’s being over-the-top, which is why he feels very awkward doing it (when people point it out, it makes it painfully awkward and embarrassing for them. Point in case: bede and Marnie!)
Rose finds him a very interesting trainer and observes D a lot. Its not hard to notice how hard he’s trying, but rose doesn’t point this out and genuinely moves along with what D’s vibes are as to not make him feel any more humiliated
D is aware that Rose is playing along with his act, and thanks to this it really builds up trust like!! Oh the chairman isn’t making fun of me and genuinely finds me interesting and strong!!!! the chairman!! What a morale boost!!!!!!
Again, its genuinely (funny and) awkward when D is being his over-the-top animated self, and its easy to point this out (which most people do, from his rivals to other trainers, to even gym leaders) but the only people who dont actively point it out AND act along would be his mom, hop, Leon, and rose!
in addition, D has a pretty high-pitched voice so its easy to tell he’s trans?? He was worried he was going to be misgendered by such an all-important person like the chairman, but was surprised when rose immediately was just comfortable with calling him a “young man”
Another cute trivia thing during this stage was that they both are wearing shades for their “incognito mode” and D even gives the chairman some fashion tips for the next time he goes out!
It actually pisses off bede with how much rose and d talk;;;;;; def one of the reasons why d and bede fight hhhh
The part of the plot where they head to rose tower, D was actually very against it in the beginning, saying that he could actually just try and call up the chairman if he wanted to! He tries and tries, but then starts to panic once he does in fact realise that something isnt right
Even after storming thru rose tower and defeating oleana, d eVEN TRIES TO INVITE ROSE TO THEIR DINNER (MY BOY IS THINKIN: A DINNER WITH HIS FAV PPL!! HOP, LEON, AND ROSE!! the only one missing would be his mom) ……….but r-rose dismisses it with a smile, saying maybe next time…………..
D is a meek, insecure person who is easily broken down, so he really needs a lot of support to keep moving sO JUST IMAGINE this baby boy who puts trust in someone suddenly goes batshit and you have to defeat them with ur own hands????? Wowza.
POST-ETERNATUS, NEWLY APPOINTED CHAMPION
OH BOY EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THIS FUCKIN GOES IF THEY REMEMBER MY FIRST POSTS JHASGJHHJAS
Ive already shown this via an illustration + a short Drabble, but its only after the eternatus battle that their father-son relationship is revealed
The game really doesnt show how serious the eternatus battle was, but for me: Leon was hospitalised for quite some time and wasn’t allowed to battle D until he healed up. At the same time, this gave D a lot of time to think about wHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED
I dont mention it, but this is where his gym leader au starts off from the canon timeline!! At this point, D is calling his mom or talking to hop or just locking himself up and is just generally in a panicked state where he feels like dropping out of the challenge, feeling overwhelmed with what just happened
ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ABT ROSE AND D but lets just say his Pokemon convince him to continue!!
at the same time of his win, gossip went around quick and not only is D now very popular for suddenly defeating the unbeatable champion Leon, but is actually the “villainous” chairman rose’s son!??!?!?!??!!
POOR SON BOY IS OVERWHELMED ONCE MORE, HELP HIM.
He actually escapes to the isle of armour + crown tundra as a way to give him time to think about this more (isle of armour: personal time for himself to think alone, crown tundra: chance to spend time with relatives he didn’t know he had)
OK GENUINE RELATIONSHIP ANALYZATION TIME:
After becoming champion, he really didnt go see rose at all, feeling a plenty mix of frustration, sadness, anger, betrayal, but!! his feelings dont simply surround the “oh the adult I trusted was actually bad and lied to me“ or “wtf hes the dad who wasn’t there for me and is the reason why mom is alone how dare he” IT REALLY WAS A MIX OF BOTH HGHHGHH
But its BECAUSE he was close to him in the first place that he knows rose wasn’t just….straight up a bad person or a villain
The important part here was that rose and D were close during the challenger part, and our lad had a lot of time to think about how he was simply a good, misguided man
rose is very passionate about the things he cares about, to the point of doing anything and everything for them (ex. Awakening eternatus for Galar’s sake to the point of accidentally getting darkest day, or even working hard for Miriam’s sake to the point of accidentally never being there for her anymore)
Yeah, d talked to a whole lot of people to think this over. He learned what happened between rose and his mom while talking to her, and D also learned what happened between peony and rose to further understand what’s up!!
In the process, I like to think both Miriam and peony dont hate rose! D was also an important factor in helping the both of them realise and clear up a few things, and at least, in their minds, stay on good terms with rose
During both DLC arcs, D is silent at first but slowly n surely starts sending small letters to Rose :’))
YAY ACTUAL INTERACTION????
After a lot of thought on his self-journey, its safe to say that D had felt a lot more comfortable, finally talking to rose after the galarian star tournament arc !!
Ive mentioned before, but its not like D has to start from scratch since they had a good relationship as challenger and chairman beforehand anyway
D wants a dad! He does want to meet his dad, and at the same time rose regrets not making time for his lover and future family, so I’d say after pushing away the initial negative awkwardness they do both have the same, genuine goal in mind to talk to each other and build a good relationship with each other!!!!!!
Ive also said before but like ONE OF D’S FEARS IS…..”WHAT IF I MEET MY DAD AND HES TRANSPHOBIC” YKNO???? So knowing that rose already thinks hes already perfect in his eyes, IT REALLY DOES WONDERS TO A YOUNG BOY YKN O ?? ? ? ? ??
Uhhhhh honestly I really dont know how jail works and shit sO LETS JUST SAY D VISITS REGULARLY IF HES NOT BUSY WITH CHAMPION DUTIES!!!
Also I have nO idea what oleana means by “WHERE IS CHAIRMAN ROSE” cos like….iSNT HE JUST VIBIN IN JAIL??????? Lets just say he is sdghjjhsdhj
TL;DR
D had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to think about Rose. He does not have any ill intentions or feelings towards him, and the two have a hopeful, slowly budding father-and-son relationship.
#kamiart#i ansr#how dare you enable me#7.5k words..........THIS IS INSANE.#trainersona#chairman rose#Miriam (mum)#peony#there are so many words here I just hjjahsghjhjHJAJGSHHJSA#IS IT TOO MUCH#HAHAHAHAHAHA#I HOPE ITS GOOD LIKE#UH#CHARACTER STUDY KINDA#LMAO
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