#its 4am so i think ill head to bed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-crows-typist · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! I recently read your azul's ficlet and i'm close to crying at how beautiful it is (its 4am emo hours). If its okay, may I request a ficlet of Jade with a gn!reader with the word 'sleep' or 'rest' (pick whichever suits better!). Thank you in advance! 💖

CW: Spoilers for the movie Your Name (Kimi no na wa), character death, body switching, angst with a happy ending, and slow burn (sort of)

Feedback in greatly appreciated!

Thank you to @opalmaplehibiscus , @jellyfishstuckinwonderland , and @raven-at-the-writing-desk for the input in the making of this fic. I greatly appreciate your help.

The Possibilities are Endless

“My name is..”

“Please remember me...!”

The crowds on the train pushed them apart, a braided bracelet was tossed towards Jade. A lifeline connecting both of them together, a connection between two souls; the face of one that was desperate to keep holding on, they yelled one last time just as the doors of the train closed and their grip on the bracelet wrap loosened.

“My name is—!”

Jade opened his eyes and he was in his room, his very dark room. To his side was his closet and to the other a white wall. The sound of bubbling water churned behind the window of his dorm room and with one slow blink, he pulled himself up and hunched over.

The same dream, the same voice, the same bracelet tossed to him.

He craned his head to his lamp stand where the colorful wrap lay next to his earring, he doesn’t remember where he got it nor does he remember why he wanted to keep it for so long. He took the bracelet and looked at it and thought back to the voice in his dream.

“Please remember me...!”

Pushing himself off he moved to the mirror to fix his appearance, with his brush and hair gel in hand he let out a gasp when the lights of vanity shined light on a note. A note written on his cheek with a marker, a message he didn’t remember writing.

“Who are you?”

It was during breakfast that Jade began to notice the strange happenings around him, how Azul asked if he was feeling better or how Floyd said he was wearing his earring again. “What do you mean,” Jade questioned. “I always wear it.”

“You weren’t yesterday. And you looked so lost like some little guppy, you even forget how to get to class yesterday morning.” Floyd complained, eating his breakfast with a huff. “Was it a prank? Cuz’ you got me good.”

What was he doing yesterday?

He woke up, went to school...No. That wasn’t what happened. He didn’t recall anything from the previous day. In fact, he remembered being at a different place.

In a city full of buildings and faraway from the sea, the familiar smell of white roses, the smile of an unfamiliar fellow and a bento box he had no recollection of him cooking or making.

His uniform wasn’t black but a cream with a tint of yellow, his magical pen was nowhere to be seen and was instead replaced with a pen nib brooch. He touches his cheek, remembering the message written on his cheek. “Who are you?”

“C’mon, you gotta tell me.” Floyd pestered, his arm over Jade’s neck “Was it a prank?”

“Perhaps.” The twins laughed, Floyd pulling close but in his mind he thought of the message, his incapability to remember the previous day. He needed more answers but only questions filled his head.

His notes were a mess and full of sketches. There were sketches of Night Raven’s facade and the students, his classmates. A slew of messy messages on paper, the handwriting worrying as if the person writing was stressed beyond belief.

“The uniforms are black, the gems are pens.”

“Nothing but roses for miles.”

“Wishing well???”

“Where am I?”

“Mr Leech, please read the next line.”

“Yes, sir.”

Trein’s brow raised and he blinked. “Well, today you actually remember your name. Perhaps you were just feeling ill.” A hum of laughter passed through the class. “And your hair is fixed as well; I was beginning to think you and your brother switched places when you came into class with a messy bed head.”

Jade blinked, tilting his head. “I...see. I’ll make sure to not make that mistake again, professor.”

“Good. Continue on reading.”

“Magic transcends all meaning when twilight occurs, when the sun and the moon share the sky for a single moment.” Trein explained, using a magical pointer. “The word twilight means ‘half-light’ when the light of the sun glows and causes refraction in the atmosphere and signaling the end of the morning and welcoming of night or visa versa. At times like this does magic become unpredictable and free-forming and when realities begin to overlap each other for the time twilight occurs. This was used to the advantage of the earliest magician in recorded history.”

Trein faced his students. “Nowadays, these times of day are known as dusk and dawn as the world twilight has fallen out of favor in recent years.”

“It’s probably because of that one book.” A student yelled from the rows behind and Trein nodded his head. “Ah, yes, ten years ago was an odd time for the word ‘twilight’.” Trein blinked, shaking his head slightly. “Who would have thought the human body produced so much diamonds but that is beside the point.” The bell rang and the students began taking their books. “Be sure to read up on your lesson today, we will be having a quiz tomorrow on the topic.”

Jade stayed in his seat for some time and stared at the diagram on the board.

Twilight.

In the back of his mind, a flash of a memory comes to him. He remembers a train stopping by and the droves of people coming in and out. Jade was alone that time, buying something some seeds or fungi. The sun was setting at the time, the yellow sun turning orange and the sky dimming to a nightly violet.

“Jade.”

He didn’t know the person who called out his name nor did he remember what they looked like but he did remember the smile they had, as if they were looking for him for a long time, it was a face relief.

“It’s me.”

He didn’t know who this person was nor did he ever remember their face and yet, at that instant he seemed to have known them his entire life. In his heart was a feeling of warmth, of glee, of content and relief; he was confused by it all. A strike of panic pierced his heart when that smile turned into a confused and upset frown. “You don’t...remember me..?”

The next stop came and people began filing out, pushing the two of them away from each other. “Jade, please remember me!” They said as they were pushed out by the crowd. Reaching up, they pulled the braided tie from their hair and threw it out of him. “Please remember me..!”

He caught the braided tie just as the other let go and doors began to close.

“My name is—!”

“Is there something wrong, Mr Leech?” He blinked, looking to Trein with confusion. He had missed the door and stood by the wall of the classroom. “Ah—I’m sorry.” There was a hissy laugh from Lucius as Trein set him down on the table to collect his papers. “You seem to be in deep thought, is there something on your mind?”

“No, professor, I was just thinking about our topic today.” Jade lied through his teeth and Trein took it with a huff. “I know twilight is a regular phenomenon but I didn’t know that it was an important time of day for mages and magicians.” A nod came from his professor. “Many people nowadays don’t see its importance as magical materials and magic itself have grown and changed over time. With the new technology and the new breakthroughs we have, the archaic practices of the past have since then been abandoned.”

Trein looked to the window and Jade followed his gaze, the sun began to set and the color of orange and violet painted the sky. “Twilight has begun.” Picking up his beloved cat, Trein stretched his back and moved to face the student in front of him. “It’s best to get back to your dorm, you might miss the curfew.”

“Professor, have you ever experienced anything during twilight? Like the way you’ve explained it during class?” Jade asked suddenly, his professor’s eyes widened then looking to the side to think for a moment. “I have but they were more of dreams than the otherworldly claims of recording happenings. I would often see myself in another person’s shoes, seeing a world I did not know about, it wasn’t a pleasant experience but...It was interesting, for a dream at least.”

“I see. Thank you very much, professor. I’ll be on my way.”

He stared at his messy notebook unblinking, the messy handwriting and the sketches were foreign to him. He drew a few doodles but he never put any detail to it nor was he able to do sketches of his peers in movement.

“Where am I?”

Taking his pen, Jade wrote a message. What had happened to him wasn’t a dream, he knew that and he knew that what he was about to do wasn’t a sure fire guarantee that whoever wrote this will see it but the unpredictability of the situation allowed him to push through with an eagerness to see the end results.

“You are in Night Raven College. My name is Jade.”

The night loomed over the dorm, the once blue waters a dark purple and tinge of black. Twilight has ended. Jade closes his eyes for a moment and sighed, thinking back about the lesson and to the confused glances of his peers.

“Please remember me...!” The voice begged, the image of a braided bracelet flowing through the air as it flew towards him. Tugging his sleeve, the bracelet was wrapped around his wrist snugly; its design was simple and bright mix of blue, yellow, and red.

“Please remember me...!”

Jade tugs his sleeves back down, only stepping out of to his bed when he felt tired. The bracelet was removed from his wrist and sat next to him.

“My name is—!”

The voice echoed through his mind, he felt that he should remember it, he felt like he should know who it was, and all he felt was frustration and eagerness to see this unpredictable situation through. He closed his eyes wanting to rest his eyes rather than sleep.

“So this is what Night Raven College looks like. It’s very pretty, your uniforms are very pretty too but I’m not used to the environment there. It’s probably because of the walls or the silence.”

It had been a few days since the messaging through the notebook began with Jade and his pen pal, of sorts. It seemed that his new pen pal had been observing weird happenings to them too. Their classmates telling them of their weird behaviors, one time all they ate were mushrooms.

“I don’t even like mushrooms and because of you I ate a whole lot of them in just one day!”

It seemed that his odd dreams of seeing another world unlike his own weren’t dreams after all. The white and yellow uniforms, the sweet smell of lilies, and the pen nib brooch all pointed to Royal Swords Academy. Apparently the person he switched bodies with studied there.

“And I was told that I ate eel for lunch and it upset my brother. It seems both of us are even on this regard.”

He always wrote messages on his notebook the moment he got home and he preferred it that way rather than waking up to writings on his face and arms. The marker ink was hard to wash off, even with large amounts of sudsy soaps.

“We have a notebook to communicate for a reason, please use that.”

“I like writing on your hand, Jade.”

There were moments that he expressed frustration with them, even anger but that soon dissipated into childish antics of messages written on skin, eating disgusting foods they came to like, and a bond that transcended physical reality. They were from two different worlds and yet, here they were being friends.

All this was just like a dream to him.

“Hey, about that braided bracelet...Where did you get it? I had one just like it before it disappeared; I used to wear it on my hair.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that. It just came with me, I suppose. I couldn’t part with it for some reason so I’ve been wearing it ever since.”

“I guess we just so happened to have the same braided tie, huh? Hehehe!”

After class, Jade went to experience the twilight hour for once and see the students filter out of school and run about. It was the end of the week and it was a time for fun, brooms flew overhead and magical swirls of dust were thrown about by fun-loving students.

“What I like about your school is that none of you are afraid to get dirty and have fun.” He remembered his pen pal writing. “I love RSA but the uniforms and the rules we live by stop us from having fun like all of you there in NRC.”

He couldn’t blame them, RSA had some rules to go by and the uniforms really stopped them from having fun too. The chaos that he saw in RSA wasn’t like those in NRC, not by a long shot but he could see the charm it had in it despite the difference in school life.

Jade wanted them to experience this first hand one day. In their own body, of course.

He went back to his room when the sun had disappeared and the moon stood in its place. Sitting by the notebook, he took his magical pen from his pocket and began writing his response to his pen pal’s recent message.

“RSA has beautiful scenery, there’s no doubt about it. It’s a nice change of pace from the gothic feel NRC has, I find it rather peaceful. Though the sudden music lessons do tend to throw me off but that is something I will eventually come to get used to.

He tapped his pen on his desk, humming at his short reply. He looked at his wrist; the braid coiled around his wrist and was vibrant under the yellow light of his lamp. Unlike them, he never really gave hints of what his school life was about nor did he give details of what it was like to spend a day in RSA.

“We had a lesson about the magical phenomena known as Twilight. Apparently around that time, magic becomes different and realities begin to overlap...Do you think that’s what’s causing us to switch bodies?”

“Twilight...I’ve heard of that phenomenon too! It actually makes sense, maybe that’s what's causing it but if it’s really true then that’s some real strong magic!”

Jade slept that late that night, the braided tie next to his forehead. For once, he didn’t dream of the train station but of a hand coming up to take his own. No, it wasn’t his hand, it was his pen pal’s hand, and it grasped softly then tugged for him to follow.

He was on a mountain, the sky glittering with millions upon millions of stars. It was a beautiful sight, his eyes widening as the stars grew closer and closer, the heat around him rising and rising; burning his skin and singing his hair. The world around him was destroyed and the last thing he heard was the terrified scream of someone he was beginning to hold dear.

He awoke with a gasp, his eyes tearful and his lungs out of breath. Next to him were a concerned Azul and his brother Floyd. “We could hear you gasping from the hallway.” Azul explained but Jade kicked off his covers and ran to his desk, his notebook, their means of communication was empty. The messages he had collected with them were gone and only his own remained.

His brother tugged at his shoulder. “Look at me.” He was whirled around, their foreheads touching. “Breathe. You’re gonna give yourself an attack if you don’t breathe.”

He closed his eyes, leaning against his brother to breathe harshly. A pair of hands pats his back, Azul’s and Floyd’s, in an act of comfort but none of their touches reached Jade. He was too confused, too shaken up, too anxious. “It was just a bad dream.”

A dream...

What he had seen in the eyes of his pen pal was all a dream...?

Pen pal?

“It’s best that you get some more rest.” Azul said, pulling Jade back to his bed. “I’ll explain to the teachers what happened to you.” Floyd nudged him down and pulled the covers up until his brother’s chin. “We need you well rested, Jade. We’ll have the others check on you every once in a while.”

He forced himself to breathe slowly and carefully, his eyes screwed shut and thoughts in a whirlwind. His memories scrambling and confusing, he tries to remember the train station, the lake that was on RSA’s sloping hills and the falling meteorite.

Had there been a meteor shower? There was no news of it, no indication.

A hand caressed his head, shushing his sounds to silence.

“Sleep, Jade.”

The next day, Jade spent all his time in the library with books about stars and meteors and sleep being the furthest thing from his mind. He poured through the articles about meteor showers, checking online news sites, and pouring through scientific documents.

Nothing.

No recent reports of a meteor shower anywhere near the area of RSA or NRC.

A frustrated sigh left Jade’s lips and he held his head with a huff, burying his fingers into his hair when a fluffy tail rubbed and pawed against his arm. “Good to see you’re up and about, Mr Leech.” Trein stood over him as Lucius stepped over the articles to sit on one of the books.

“I didn’t know you were taking a liking to astronomy.” The professor commented, taking an article and reading through it. “Meteor showers, eh? I haven’t seen those for some time. The last one was beautiful but also very tragic.”

“What do you mean, professor?” Jade stared up at his teacher, slightly surprised.

“You weren’t in NRC at the time this happened but there was a meteor shower that passed by Twisted Wonderland, it was a festive time...But that soon became a tragedy when a fragment broke off from one of the passing meteorites.” He sighed, closing his eyes and setting the paper down. “Though NRC and RSA have been rivals for a long time, I can’t bear to think such a catastrophic event would happen to them.”

His heart skipped a beat, eyes wide in surprise. “You mean to say...”

“A meteorite fragment fell on RSA three years ago, specifically on the field just outside the school where some students were watching the shower. Those poor children...”

The white crystal of his magical pen glowed bright and Jade pushed himself off his chair, figure hunched forward and head hung low. Lucius let out a meow as he scrambled away from the student. “Mr Leech, what are you doing?” Trein demanded but his voice fell on deaf ears, Jade remembers his last dream, the last time he switched bodies. He remembers the falling meteorite, the scream that wasn’t his own, he remembers them.

His pen pal.

In a burst of magic, Jade disappeared from his position leaving a scared Lucius and a confused and upset Mozus Trein.

The landscape around him was heavy, the crater left by the meteorite was massive and no traces of life were seen within the impact zone. The memory of the meteorite fragment falling right on top of his pen pal, killing them instantly played again and again in his head. Jade, normally so aloof and calm, fell to his knees.

They died.

They died where he stood.

For the first time in a long while, Jade screamed his heart out. A wail of agony loud enough to echo through the empty void that was essentially his pen pal resting place. He sunk to his knees and continued crying until his throat became hoarse and painful.

He laid on his side as the sun went down, the braided tie peeked out of his blazer.

“Please remember me—!”

The train station...Was that a dream too? What had he been doing when he was in there? What was he there for?

Who was calling out his name.

“Jade...?”

The sun set over him, the sky turning orange and violet. It was twilight hour.

“Jade..”

“Jade.”

There was a touch to his shoulder and a soft shake. His head turned, his eyes widened. A student from RSA stood over him. They smelled of white lilies, uniform a mix of white and yellow, and their magical crystal a pen nib brooch. There was a familiar gleam in their eyes, a smile he came to know from the many days they had switched bodies.

His pen pal smiled at him, offering their hand for him to take. “It’s really you, Jade. It’s actually you.”

They laughed, pulling Jade into a hug; his tall figure dwarfing them easily as they hugged his chest. Jade sighed, returning the hug soon after and rocking each other back and forth for a few moments the sun shined in the horizon.

“I thought I lost you, y’know?” They said, looking up at him. “I just...I suddenly couldn’t reach you.”

“I thought you had died. I saw the meteor fall on you.”

They looked at each other for a moment and a laugh was shared, their foreheads linked together soon after. “I know but...somehow, maybe...I don’t really know what happened to me. I just couldn’t reach you to tell you what happened on that day. I nearly forgot about you and I cried for days wondering why.”

Pulling away, they looked down to Jade’s wrist. “Hey, that bracelet...”

“You gave it to me in the train station.”

It was all coming back to him now. This person, his pen pal, was someone he held dear for a long time.

He felt comfort.

“Oh yeah! I did, didn’t I?”

“Do you want it back?”

“No. Keep it.”

The two held hands for some time but were immediately thwarted by them pulling out a marker. “Hey, why don’t we write our names? That way, if we ever forget each other there’ll always be a reminder. Ah, but I don’t have any paper with me...”

Jade offered his palm, his smile teasing and knowing. “You always liked writing on my skin.”

They shared another laugh and the marker’s cap was pulled off, Jade looking over the horizon as they wrote their name on his palm. “Your turn.”

He took the pen from them and as soon as he wrote the starting strokes of his name, the marker fell from his grasp.

The twilight hour had ended and the moon took over the sky.

“Eh...? What am I...doing...?”

Jade was found by his peers not long after, taking him in and letting him rest as they descended the crater near RSA. Mozus Trein was their chaperone, explaining to the staff of the rival school and covering his own students.

“Someone he knew died here,” He explained, looking at Jade being covered with a blanket by his brother. Jade’s eyes were closed and he leaned against him, clearly exhausted from the ordeal and exposure to the elements.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, professor.” Said one RSA’s employees, brows upturned and frowning deep. “The meteorite crash was a very tragic event for all schools. I can’t imagine how much grief that young boy has gone through knowing that a friend of his died that day.”

“I hope you can look the other way on this. I know we shouldn’t come into each other’s premises without proper—“

“It’s quite alright. I’ll explain the situation to the headmaster once everything has settled.”

Floyd pulled his brother to his chest and stood up, Azul placing a hand on his back.

“Let’s go home, Jade.”

Jade wasn’t alone that night, Floyd and Azul wouldn’t allow him to be alone. They slept next to him, keeping him company but while the two slept, he couldn’t. The moon shone against his window and gave his room a very soft blue glow. He raised his hand to his face, the message from someone he held dear was still visible but slightly smudged.

“Thank you.”

Bitterness rose in his chest and to his throat, his brows furrowed in frustration. The tears forming stung his eyes.

“You idiot,” he brought his palm to his face, sniffling. “I can’t remember you this way.”

A year had passed and the dreams stopped coming after that night. Jade had picked up the habit of sitting outside during twilight hour, watching the set and holding the bracelet that never left his wrist for more than a second. He wore it everywhere he went but when asked; he never had a proper reason for it.

“I feel complete wearing it.”

The yearly magical shift festival brought troves of customers and onlookers, Jade and his brother sat on a bench and let their legs rest after a long day. “I’m gonna go get something to eat. You want anything?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll buy some myself.”

“’Kay.”

Jade was left alone after that and he closed his eyes for a moment, his nose taking in the different smells of food and perfumes.

There was a familiar smell of white lilies.

“Excuse me.”

A person stood in front of him, holding a brochure. They were a uniform of white and yellow and a pen nib brooch. They smiled at him and familiar warmth bloomed in his chest. “I don’t mean to disturb you or anything.”

Their smile was sheepish but it felt as if he’d seen it somewhere before.

“Do we know each other by any chance?”

“I think so.” Jade’s smile was easy and suddenly their eyes began to water. “I had a feeling we did.”

“Hey,” Jade reached over and intertwined their hands, the bracelet’s colors were vibrant against his skin and theirs.

“May I…”

“Can I…”

“...Know your name?”

#works from the typewriter #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #jade leech x reader #jade leech #twst jade leech #twst jade x reader #angst #jade ficlets #this took me so long to write oml #twst #twst x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader

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simpsiren · 4 years ago

Text

about the roommate

park seonghwa x reader

main masterlist

description. you talk about your weird relationship with the roommate you’ve been with for so long yet still dont know much about

genre. roommates au, fluff, seonghwa hinting at reader that they like them

warnings. nonee

a/n. hihii so i wanted to try writing for ateez since ive been doing a lot of nct ff already. its my first time so i doubt that it’ll be accurate but i got the idea from this post by @darling-akaashi so i hope it will be decent. i never thought that it would be this long but oh well HAHA enjoyy :D

how did you even become roommates with someone like him? you dont even know. all you knew was that you were finding someone to share the apartment rent with and it just so happens that your friend at college, wooyoung, has a friend who was looking for an apartment.

and now here you are. a year and a half of sharing an apartment with seonghwa yet the two of you are in your separate rooms. the only interaction you ever made today was at breakfast where seonghwa cooked for you scrambled eggs and toasted bread.

there’s wasn’t much you knew about him at first. but as you slowly but surely try to accomplish your mission of getting to know seonghwa (since you didn’t like being awkward with people all the time), you start to learn a thing or two about him.

you were glad that after a year and a half of staying with him, you got to know more about him, despite the fact that the interaction between the two of you still needed some work.

[ONE] : he’s a clean freak.

you were feeling tired from a long day of school and all you thought of doing while walking home was to sit on the couch and resume your anime marathon.

you unlock your door to find seonghwa mopping the floor. you nod your head slowly as you close the door and take off your shoes before taking any step further.

“didnt you mop the floor yesterday?” you ask, placing your keys on the kitchen counter along with your bag on the chair of the dining table.

“yeah.” was all you heard from seonghwa as you pour yourself a glass of grape juice. “you dont have to mop again-“

“its a habit.” seonghwa replies simply. with your cup in hand, you make your way to the living room, where seonghwa is currently mopping. you take a seat on the couch and grab the controller to turn on the tv. “hey wanna watch attack on titans with me?” seonghwa was mopping the floor in between the couch you’re sitting on and the coffee table and stops in front of you, raising an eyebrow.

“i dont watch anime?” you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “come on its fun! stop your cleaning and at least watch one episode.” you grab seonghwa’s arm and pull him down to sit next to you, making him flinch a little and quickly placing the mop beside the couch.

“how am i suppose to watch when i dont know what happened before?” you roll your eyes.

“if you find this episode good then you can watch it from the start in your free time.”

seonghwa sighs and and stands up, walking away to keep the mop before taking a seat beside you again and getting comfortable. “this better be worth it. im suppose to clean the toilet right now.”

“that can wait.” you nudge your arm into his chest, making him let out another long sigh before watching the show silently.

[ONE.2]

it was a saturday morning as you went to sleep at 4am. hence, making you wake up at 11am in the morning. however, you have always been laying around in your bed for about an hour or so before getting out of your room. when the clock striked 12, you thought that it would be a good idea to get out of your room and have lunch. gathering up all your energy, you brought yourself out of bed and lazily walk out of your room.

as you walked down the hallway, the first thing you saw was seonghwa cleaning the counter top of the kitchen. you clicked your tongue and walked over to where seonghwa was.

“did you make lunch yet?”

seonghwa looks up at you and shakes his head. “its a saturday so im spring cleaning the house.” you rolled your eyes and shake your head.

“you do that every single day!” you whine. seonghwa raises his eyebrow. “i like to keep the house neat unlike you.” you let out a soft ‘tsk’.

you have to admit, you were not a clean person at all. the only reason why the apartment is clean is because of seonghwa’s habit of being well organised and meticulous. basically everything in the apartment but your room is squeaky clean. although you see seonghwa staring at your room and looked like he’s holding back the strong urge to clean it for you, he doesn’t really do anything about the fact that you are the complete opposite of him. you dont know why but you only shrug it off.

“ill help you today, alright? then you can quickly cook something up for us. im hella hungry right now.”

seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and scoffs with a slight smile. you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “what’s that face for, huh?”

“this is the first time you offered to help. id say thank you but i know you’re only doing it because we both know im the only one that can cook.” seonghwa says confidently. you purse your lips and nodded your head.

“you’re right. but i’ll still help. so, what should i do?” seonghwa tosses the cloth that he was using to clean the kitchen counter. you took a step back as you quickly got a hold of it.

“wash it and wipe the bookshelf.” you let out a long sigh before flashing him a bright smile and headed over to the bookshelf. while you were wiping the sides of the bookshelf, you could have sworn that you saw seonghwa looking at you with a smile and a light blush of pink on his cheeks. you pretended not to notice though, and shrug it off.

[TWO] : he’s a great cook.

you still remember the first day you came to the apartment. the first thing you see your new roommate doing was cleaning. like intense cleaning. it was late at night and you didn’t bother to even greet the stranger since you felt awkward and wanted to rest for the night.

however, at about two in the morning, you were laying down in your room when you felt the need to have a night snack. you stepped out of your room and went to the kitchen. the whole apartment was dark except for the dimly lit lamp at the kitchen. you jumped a little when you hear seonghwa’s voice coming from the living room.

“y/n?” you turn around to see seonghwa chilling on the couch with his phone. the living room was completely dark and you could only see his face from the light illuminating from his phone.

“i was just getting a snack to eat.” you said as you opened the fridge to look for something to eat. unfortunately, there wasnt anything that looked like it would fill your midnight appetite. you hear seonghwa standing up from the couch at the back and walking towards you. you tilted your head to the back and see seonghwa standing behinf you. you tale a step back.

“i can cook something if you want.”

“no no its fine i just need a simple snack.” seonghwa kept quiet for a moment as you went back to the fridge to look for food again, as if something might magically pop up. but of course nothing did.

“well i didnt think of getting any snacks when i moved in. ill make something.” seonghwa walks over to the fridge and nudges your arm, making you move to the kitcen counter and leaning your hip against it as you watch seonghwa get to work.

you were looking through your phone, distracted when you heard the noise of two bowls being olaced on the table. you lift your head up and noticed that seonghwa made yoghurt with cherries and raspberries. it wasnt your idea of a midnight snack but at this point, anything could go in your stomach.

“thanks.” you whisper softly as you drag the bowl near to you. seonghwa only hums in response as the two of you take a bite at the same time. your mouth gapes open as your head slowly tilts up from your bowl to look at seonghwa. he was casually eating when his raises an eyebrow at your weird expression.

“how.. how does this taste so good? what did you do it? did you poison it?!” seonghwa blinks at you a few times and shakes his head slowly. your forehead creases as you look at him suspiciously. “i never really liked yoghurt but holy shit.” you quickly take another bite.

“i think you’re just hungry. it tastes fine to me.” seonghwa says in a monotoned lazy manner and grabs the bowl and taking a seat at the dining table. you purse your lips into a straight line and grab your bowl as well and walking down the hallway to your room. before you open your door to go in, you quickly turn your head to the dining table.

“thanks for the yoghurt! ill wash the bowl later.” seonghwa doesnt react, keeping his eyes on his phone. you gave a weird look before heading inside. you sigh.

he’s going to be hard to talk to.

[TWO.2]

“its your birthday, right?” your jumped in your seat when seonghwa suddenly appeared beside you on the couch. “uhuh.. how’d you know?” you say softly, nodding your head.

“wooyoung told me. lll make you a cake or something. anything you want to eat?” you blink at him a few times, your mouth still gaping open as you were shocked about a few things. 1. he talking to you in a more open matter and 2. he actually want to make you something for your birthday.

“make me mac and cheese, please! i love the way you cook it!” you smiled brightly. seonghwa smiled back and coughed, only to return to his monotoned face. you laugh softly. you found it cute somehow.

“i wouldn’t have allowed it since its unhealthy but since its your birthday-”

“thank you!” you leaned in to hug seonghwa. the didnt hug you back, so you quickly pulled away. you noticed him blushing again, this time it was more obvious. you shook it off, despite knowing you felt butterflies in your stomach. “ill go out to get groceries then.” seonghwa stands up from the couch and heads inside his room to get ready.

you smiled to yourself constantly as you waited for seonghwa to finish making the mac and cheese. you sigh in satisfaction as the smell of the delicious food fills the air in the apartment. you tapped your feet excitedly as you had your eyes glued onto seonghwa with the pan in his hands. your face lit up the moment the starts walking towards you. you clap your hands as he places it down on the dining table.

“fuck it smells and looks to good.” you moan out. seonghwa lets out a soft laugh, making you blush just from hearing him do that. “if i made this any other day, i would’ve asked you to pay for the groceries.” you roll your eyes.

“come on dont be rude to me.” you grab a fork and spoon, bringing your plate near the pan and cutting out a slice for yourself. “thanks for the mac and cheese.” seonghwa only nods his head and took a slice for himself before the two of you ate together slowly, indulging the savoury and amazing taste of one of seonghwa’s best dishes he has ever made dor you.

you appreciated times like thae with seonghwa. alrhough not much interaction was made during meal times, you really felt that he cared for you. making meals you like on special occasions, and he’s always asking you what you want to eat, despite the fact that he might not be comfortable with the idea, he doesn’t fail to whip up a great meal. you liked that about seonghwa.

[THREE] : he’s a great listener.

you basically the worse day that day. for some reason, everything just had to go wrong. the only thing you felt the whole day were anger and sadness, more so towards anger. it was late at night yet you were still fuming in anger, only wanting to let it all out the moment you stepped into the apartment.

you unlocked the door and dropped your bag beside you and slammed the door shut. of course the piercing sound of the door made seonghwa lift his head up in an instant. you notice him laying down on the couch with his phone and usual.

stomping over to the kitchen, you pour yourself a glass of cold water. you chugged the whole cup of water fast and forcefully place the cup on the counter. you clearly felt seonghwa’s eyes on you. you look up from your cup and notice him looking shocked, his mouth gaping open slightly.

“what?” you said, running your hand through your hair in frustration.

“you okay...?” you hear seonghwa ask. “does it look like im okay? today felt as if i entered a shit hole.” you huff. you made your way over to the couch, leaving your empty cup on the counter.

“move your ass.” you hiss at seonghwa. he raises an eyebrow and gets up from his laying position, proceeding to sit up and let you take a seat beside him.

you sit down and let your body sink into the couch, laying your head back as you sigh to calm yourself down. “what happened?” seonghwa whispers, putting away his phone and turning his attention to you.

you purse your lips into a thin line and slowly looked up at him. his eyes were filled with concern and his voice was gentle too. he hasn’t been this concerned about you before.

“apparently i got my best friend to dress up all cute and fancy so that she can have a date with my boyfriend behind my back.” you scoff in disbelief, shaking your head. you see seonghwa licking his lips nervously as he nodded his head.

“a shit show if you ask me. i saw him waiting for her in front of the shop i was working at.” you grab the pillow behind you and hug it close to your chest with you digging your face into it. “just how cruel can people get?” your voice was muffled but you knew seonghwa heard you loud and clear. you felt his hand resting on your back, patting it gently.

“its fine. rant all you want.” you took a deep breath and slammed the pillow onto your lap. you felt that it made seonghwa jump a little but he never fails to keep his composure in check. you could never be like him.

the night, all you did was talk, cried and screamed your heart out. and seonghwa was there to just listen to you. he didn’t react much, but he did nod a few times hear and there to let you know that he understood what you were saying. he wasnt so affectionate that he would hug you when you cried, but it felt good to just have him sit there with you while you let out all your anger and frustration. you figured that having him as your listener was his way of showing comfort for you.

[THREE.2]

it was 4am. you and seonghwa have been drinking since 2am. why? you had a bad day and you felt rhe need to destress with some alcohol. seonghwa wouldn’t have allowed you to get drunk but he was apparently having a bad day too and felt like he wanted to get a little drunk to forget everything that day.

“dont you know how fucking stupid that is? it only happens to me. why?!” you groan as you take down another shot. seonghwa fills up your cup again.

“just forget them. they’re being idiots.” seonghwa whispers. you gap your mouth open and roll your eyes. “how can i forgot something like that?!” you shout angrily, slamming your hand on the table. seonghwa laughs in a lazy manner.

“you’re cute when you’re mad.”

“excuse me?” you tilt your head to the side, wondering if you heard seonghwa’s words clearly.

“nothing.” you shrug it off and shake your head.

“by the way..” you started off. seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and lets out a ‘hm?’

“why arent you telling me why you’re drinking? you don’t normally do this. you dont even let me drink unless its a special occasion. i rarely see you drunk.”

seonghwa raises both his eyebrows and sigh. “i had a bad day. but yours sounds worse so ill let you do all the ranting.” seonghwa starts playing with his shot glass, circling his index finger around its rim.

you clicked your tongue. “but its always been about me. you cook me my favourite meals, you do all the cleaning and you’re always here for me when im pissed. i feel bad about it..” you quickly glance at seonghwa. its the blushing again. you started to accept the fact that you had an effect on him, instead of avoiding the fact that he might have feelings for you.

“i guess im always doing those things because...” he leans forward over the table, getting close to your face. you start to grow nervous and your heart started beating quickly. you held a fist to your chest, breathing slowly to calm you down, but it failed. its the first time you’ve seem seonghwa like this. he looked... hot?

“do you know the answer?” seonghwa asks, tilting his head to the side as you watch his eyes glaze over you whole face as if he’s admiring every inch of it.

“no?” your breathing stopped for a moment when seonghwa gets even closer. this time, your noses were touching. seonghwa chuckles lowly. why did that sound so good all of a sudden?

“i know that you know. i wonder why you’re shying away.” seonghwa’s lips immediately connected with yours. you blinked your eyes rapidly as you tried to process the situation. you couldn’t hold back. his lips felt great against yours. its like all the worries that have been piling up in you have been washed away from a simple kiss.

who knew you’d get this close to your mysterious roommate? its a drastic start to a good relationship nonetheless.

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez wooyoung #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez ff #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x y/n #seonghwa x you #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #ateez x reader #ateez park seonghwa

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tenthgrove · 4 years ago

Text

L’inizio- A La Squadra Backstory Collection

Chapter 1: La Serenità (Risotto Nero)

Word count: ~6000

Warnings: Like most La Squadra backstories, this fic is going to get quite dark in places so I’m going to include content warnings chapter by chapter. For this chapter, warnings are in place for grief, self-harm (implicit), violence, murder and general mental ill-health

Needles of rain batter the old road as the taxi pulls into a quiet town. The driver, who eyes his unfamiliar passenger quickly and often as he slumps broodingly in the back seat, prays his headlights don’t give up on him now.

“I know my way from here,” the passenger speaks. Though doubtful of his judgement, the driver takes his cue to pull to a stop on the unlevel curb. The passenger undoes his seatbelt and slings his heavy bag over-shoulder. He spares the taxi driver a rare moment of eye contact. “If you try and find the church yourself in this weather we’ll be here all night,” he huffs.

“Are you sure?” the driver asks waveringly, “the downpour is quite severe after all.”

“I’ve had worse. Now here, your money,” the strange man maintains, shoving a fist of cash towards him. The driver counts it eagerly.

“130,000 lire? That’s far more-”

“The first half is for the journey, the rest says you never saw me,” he elaborates impatiently. Reaching for the door, he steps out detachedly into the rain and begins his long strides forward. After a moment he stops, and looks back. For the first time all journey, his bitter face is lit up by the glare of the headlights. For all he has said and done, the driver cannot bring himself to feel shock at the sight of the black and red eyes the stranger looks at him with.

“And really,” the young man repeats. “Ensure you speak nothing of me. If you do, I have contacts who will ensure you regret it,” he snarls, turning his back ardently on the car and pacing away down the street. The driver wastes no time in leaving him be.

Risotto Nero wipes rain from his brow as he climbs the hill towards his destination. Somewhere, deep within his mind he acknowledges the unjust callousness with which he regards his childhood town around him. Perhaps, it is easier on his soul not to do otherwise.

Even as the darkness affords him no aid, Risotto guides himself by muscle memory towards the old tower of the village church. He knows by memory too, the way through the ancient graveyard to the place he came to visit. Reaching the far corner, he stumbles on the dirt and feels his hands for the stone. Icy hands trace its name, pangs of both relief and guilt when the familiar lettering is felt by him.

“Domenico,” Risotto half-gasps. He lets his knees give way as he sinks down onto the dirt of the grave. “I came back, as I promised you. I have to go again soon but…” he reaches into the pockets of his coat and pulls out a metal box the size of his palm. It’s starting to reek, a miracle the driver of the taxi didn’t notice, but it’s here now. “I did it Domenico. I killed him. For you,” Risotto speaks. He wrenches off the lid and the foul stench of rotting blood ebbs out. He hold it shakily over the grave, and tips it onto the dirt.

“I wanted to make him suffer more. Show him just what he did to Nonna and I by taking you. I couldn’t do that, there wasn’t enough time. But… I hope this is enough for you, Amico. I hope you can be at peace now.”

Risotto kisses his palm and presses it to the gravestone.

“Goodbye, Domenico.”

Risotto stand to his feet and turns away from the grave. A clap of lightning brings a brief moment of light to the rugged graveyard. There at the other end, Risotto sees a figure familiar to him, looking out over the sea of graves.

Damn it, Risotto thinks to himself. How in God’s name did she find him here?

Risotto crosses his palms and stands sheepishly as the figure of his grandmother approaches him. Vittoria stops when she’s close enough for the faint light of the night to force them to see eye to eye. Risotto knows he could not look away from her if he tried.

“I saw a vehicle coming into town,” Vittoria speaks. “Somehow, I knew in my heart it would be you.” The aging woman reaches a hand for her grandson’s arm. He flinches, but does not shake her off. “What have you done, Risotto?”

Risotto breathes deeply. He gives her the firmest look he dares.

“Exactly what I said I would.”

“It’s all over the news,” Vittoria laments. “The theories are ceaseless. I can only thank god you haven’t been named as a suspect yet, but with all that’s happened it’s only a matter of time.”

“They aren’t going to name me,” he promises. “I sought protection as I said I would. No police force in Italy will dare put blame on me, and they will not harass you either.” Risotto assures her. Vittoria’s eyes go wide as panic flashes across her face. She opens her mouth fearfully.

“Who?”

“Passione,” Risotto answers.

“Then you really have doomed yourself Risotto.”

Risotto takes a step back.

“I’ve sworn to report to Naples by 4pm tomorrow. I have to go, Nonna,” he excuses himself.

“Stay, just a few hours, I beg of you,” Vittoria pleads. As he marches to the edge of the graveyard, she follows him desperately. “If you must go, I can take you myself in the morning. Don’t you want to bring more of your things? At very least- give a passing goodbye to your home?” she vies. Risotto shakes his head without looking back at her. “Risotto, please,” Vittoria begs, grabbing him by the wrist. “You’re all I’ve got left. You don’t have to go to them. I can hide you. I can take care of you.”

“I’m not going to be so dishonourable as to break an oath. Even if you could find a place for me out of Passione’s reach, my conscience would not allow it,” Risotto insists. “Surely you can understand that.”

Vittoria nods shakily.

“Unfortunately, I can. Very well, Risotto, I see your mind is made up. But won’t you at least come home for tonight?”

“No. It’s easier if I just go,” Risotto denies her. “Thank you for everything, Nonna.”

::::::::::::

A car horn sounds outside and Risotto snaps his eyes open. Sweat clings the sheets to his skin in spite of the cold weather. His head hurts and the light of his desk lamp stings his eyes as he switches it on. He doesn’t want to leave the bed. He wants to curl up and throw the sheets over his face but he knows he can’t do that.

It’s 11pm. No doubt his superiors will have tasks for him overnight and glancing over at the other bed, his roommate is already up. Risotto forces himself from bed. He notices the wrinkled photograph of his Nonna and cousin out on the nightstand- he must have left it there before he fell asleep. He tucks it quickly into the drawer. The idea of his roommates seeing it always leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Dressing in the first thing he can find, Risotto stumbles into the squalid little bathroom. Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s only 20, a gaunt, ghoulish figure whose eyes never focus and mouth never smiles. He used to think himself lonely as a child. Now he longs for a life that loved.

Risotto turns the tap and splashes his face with a little water. It hardly helps him look much better but it helps a little with the headache. He dries his face with a wipe and casts it into the bin. Often, he wonders whether his roommates haven’t noticed all the bloody tissues that keep piling up in there or if they’re just keeping quiet, but either way he’s glad for their silence. Wiping his hands on the towel, Risotto leaves for the kitchen.

“You look like shit,” Marco remarks. By the time Risotto looks at him back he’s already lost interest, eyes focused on the book he rests against the edge of the kitchen table.

“Thanks,” Risotto responds. He turns the dial on the light a little brighter. “Where are the others?”

“Fucked if I know. Nowhere good, I reckon,” Marco answers him. He pushes his glasses back into place, before scooting back in his chair to look up at Risotto. “But it works well for us. We’ve got an errand ‘needs doing. Whole massive sack of cash needs running to the warehouse. You know I can’t trust the others with that sort of thing, so I’m giving it to you. Fair?”

“Fair. I could use the walk,” Risotto shrugs. He reaches for his coat.

“Woah woah woah,” Marco stops him. “Please tell me you’re at least going to eat something before you head out. You look like you legitimately might fall over.”

“I’ll be fine, Marco, I just- don’t feel up to it,” Risotto excuses himself, slinging his arms into the coat sleeves.

“I am not letting you do such an important job for me in a state like that. Sit. I’ll get you something. As captain of this house, I’m ordering you,” Marco insists.

“If you’re so powerful how about you get Niccolo to stop barging in drunk every morning at 4am?” Risotto grumbles. He sits down anyway.

“I’m house captain, not a damn miracle worker,” Marco half-chuckles. Risotto gives a tut and forces his tense body to relax.

He heads out right after he’s eaten, not particularly wanting to converse with his roommate much longer. Risotto likes walking, especially at night. The cool air helps with the constant feeling of sickness and the quiet clears his head. He knows the place he’s going- an old warehouse a few blocks away where a lot of the money and drugs Passione seizes are taken as a first port of call. It’s not far, but Risotto thinks he’ll take the long route back. He’s enjoying this.

Risotto spies the run-down silhouette of the warehouse towering over the end of the street. The front entrance is right ahead, but Risotto knows he’s not supposed to use it for this sort of work. He heads left, down into the brick alleyway that takes him to the back door. A man is leaning against the wall. His face, scarred and stubbled, is made visible by the lighter he uses to light his bent cigarette. He spares a glance to Risotto, and Risotto feels the sudden urge to give him a wide birth.

“You got a watch on you?” the stranger asks.

Risotto isn’t falling for that one. He looks dead ahead and keeps walking, clutching the bag between himself and the wall. Pain assails the back of his shin and he falls, string-tied money falling out on the floor.

“We’ve been expecting you,” says the stranger. Face against the mud, Risotto hears the click of a gun and his instincts take over. He flings to the right, just as the deafening sound of a gunshot fires right by his ear. He rolls onto his back and grabs the stranger by his wrist, twisting the gun away before it can fire again. There’s a noise in the alleyway and Risotto wonders if it’s help. Two silhouettes come around the corner and point their guns, but it isn’t at the stranger. It’s at him.

Risotto twists his attacker’s wrist further until he hears something pop. The man yelps in pain and lets go of the gun. Grabbing it, Risotto aims at the two newcomers and fires rapidly. The angle is hardly idle but Risotto is fervent. There’s a scream and one of them falls, distracting their companion long enough for Risotto to take care of his other problem. Gripping his arms with both hands and summoning all his strength, Risotto flips the first attacker over his head, the injured man landing with a thud behind him.

Risotto scrambles to his feet. The man tries to do the same but he isn’t fast enough. Risotto straddles him and draws his knife. He stabs him again and again, blood spurting from his neck and chest as his struggling slowly stops. He stills. Risotto pulls the knife from the dead flesh and sighs.

A blinding brightness shoots down from above and Risotto reels in pain. Falling to the ground beside the body, he tries to blink his eyes open only to be met with more agony. It’s like a million needles of light are stabbing him from the sky.

The stars. Something is up with the stars.

“Bet they didn’t even give you a stand, did they? Worthless nobody.”

Steps approach Risotto from behind and the third attacker stops beside him. “Obviously not, otherwise you would have noticed it earlier,” the man scowls. Risotto tries to look up and catches a brief, blurry image of his face with no detail. It’s isn’t good to confirm much other than the man is there.

“What have you done to me?” Risotto demands. He tries to press his hands to his eyes but it still hurts. The light gets brighter still.

“I’ve used my stand on you. It’s only your perception of the stars that has been changed and not the whole planet, so don’t feel too mind blown. Believe me, if I could do that, I wouldn’t be stealing from Passione to subsidise what they pay me.”

Risotto’s eyes blink open again and in their brief moment of vision Risotto sees something that stills his blood. The stranger holds Risotto’s own knife, raised high above his head. Risotto lashes out.

Relying on instinct alone he lurches up to tackle his assailant to the ground. The stranger chuckles and throws him off of him. Risotto may be strong, but he isn’t used to fighting without his sight. It puts him at a severe disadvantage.

Risotto feels a harsh punch to his spine. He stumbles back to the ground, stopped from landing face first only by his scratched hands. He knows he would have heard it if another individual had approached it. That can only mean one thing- his attacker’s stand.

Risotto despairs. He knows stands are immune from all damage by things of this world, so without a stand of his own Risotto is defenceless against it. He has only one hope: kill the user first. Risotto lunges forwards, grabbing onto his attacker and pushing him to the ground through sheer force. He sinks his hands around the man’s neck and pushes down with all his force. The man brings up the knife and stabs it into Risotto’s chest. The pain is blinding, but Risotto knows it’s nowhere fatal. He is not deterred. The knife is brought up again and strikes him again between the ribs, but it is not deep enough to make Risotto give up his grip.

The stranger’s arm falls and the knife clatters out of reach, but Risotto is not safe yet. The unseeable stand unleashes a barrage of blows to his body, but Risotto forces himself not to give up. He stays there for what feels like an eternity, eyes clamped shut and body in agony, until the light starts to get weaker. The stand’s punches lose their strength.

Risotto can see clearly again, though the pain isn’t entirely gone. He looks down unfeelingly at the dying man below him, retching, wheezing for air as he grips Risotto’s wrist pleadingly. Risotto feels nothing as the man’s eyes glaze over and his body goes still. He holds his grip for another minute, making absolute certain the assailant is dead and not unconscious. Then he collapses.

Risotto stares up at the sky. Blood clings to his chest and oozes around his clothes. He notices how acutely aware he is of his heart, beating erratically as it pumps the blood out his skin. His limbs are heavy, the feeling in his hands already gone. He can feel himself fading second-by-second. He comes to realise just how long he’s wanted this.

Risotto thinks of Domenico and his Nonna, and patiently waits for the beating in his heart to stop.

::::::::::::

The next thing that Risotto is aware of is the heart monitor, beeping rhythmically as the white of the hospital surrounds him. He moves about in the sheets, noting the feeling of his chest constrained by bandages. A nurse rushes over to him and his awareness dissociates. It doesn’t come back until she’s leaving.

“There was a man here to see you earlier,” she mentions.

“Not some twerp with glasses, was it?” Risotto asks. He hates how weak and strained his voice sounds.

“No, some classy guy. His name was… Prosciutto Crepuscolo? I’ll have to check the book, but it’s something like that anyway. He seemed pretty ardent about seeing you so I’ll expect he’ll be back soon.”

“Alright,” Risotto sighs. “Thanks for the warning.”

Great. This is probably some stuck-up management asshole here to interrogate him about what happened. Risotto can only hope they know what the attackers were up to and don’t think he just decided to murder three soldatos on the fly. Otherwise, Risotto’s troubles may be just be beginning.

Risotto waits. The clock strikes 6am, but there’s no way to know how many times it’s done that since they took him here. He’s half-tempted to get up and find out but then he remembers the tube in his arm. He can’t really be bothered, anyway. At very least, they gave him a private room. It’s clear they know who he is, so it must have either been his roommates or the operatives of the warehouse who took him here. Someone who knows where the doctors on Passione’s payroll work.

The clock strikes 9. That nurse came back to check on him at some point but Risotto barely even noticed. He wants to go back to sleep but the pain is too bad for that. He can’t do anything but think, and even that is hard for him in so much pain.

The door clicks and an unfamiliar man enters. He appears disdained by the rain on his fine jacket as he takes it off quickly, brushing strands of blond hair from his eyes. He is a young man, though seemingly a fair bit older than Risotto if the way he carries himself is anything to go by.

“Nero?” the man asks. He regards Risotto critically as he steps forward.

“Yes, you’re Crepuscolo, correct?” Risotto replies.

“Call me Prosciutto. I can’t stand when people use that surname,” the man answers. He places his blazer on the back of the visitor’s chair and sits down, folding his hands.

“You’re from Passione, aren’t you?”

“That obvious? I suppose it must be,” Prosciutto shrugs. “I’m less special than you probably think. I handle logistics, usually more to do with murder than drugs and gambling, but I report to Polpo just like you do,” he explains.

“Are you currently sorting the logistics of having me shot, Prosciutto?” Risotto asks dryly. Prosciutto rolls his eyes.

“No, no. The operatives at the warehouse recognised one of your attackers as having tried to rob them before, and your team was quick to vouch for your character. Everyone accepts you acted in self-defence and there’s no suspicion otherwise,” Prosciutto reassures him. “In fact, I’m here on a personal whim.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been tasked with the elimination of an important politician residing in Naples. I don’t usually carry out such orders myself, but when the stakes are high it’s usually best that I, as a stand user, step in personally. Even still, it’s best to have backup and frankly, all my usual contacts are either out of town or hapless fools I wouldn’t trust to water a houseplant,” Prosciutto explains.

“And you’re looking for new options, I presume,” Risotto deduces.

“Precisely,” Prosciutto nods. “Winning a three-on-one fight with one stand user is certainly an impressive feat. I was hoping to find you in better shape than this but I can afford to wait a month or two, so I won’t strike you off my options yet. I must say, Risotto, you look like you belong in this place even without the multitude of chest wounds, but I haven’t figured out if that makes me more or less appealed to you.”

“Charmed,” Risotto sighs. “What’s in it for me?”

“Well, they’re giving me 30 million lire for the job and it would only be fair for me to give you a cut. How does 5% sound?”

“10, at least,” Risotto contends. Prosciutto smirks and makes a little huff.

“You’re an eager bastard aren’t you. Done,” he concedes.

“What do you need from me?”

“I live across from the promenade. Number 23. If you’re in shape by the 3rd of December, come to me in the afternoon. I do my hits at night but there’ll be plenty to discuss, so make sure you’re there by 4 at the latest. I can give you the pay there and then but you’ll have to keep it on you until we’re done so you don’t try to leg it.”

“And is there anything in particular I should train myself for?” Risotto asks.

“Nothing in particular. You’re only there for backup so you might not even need to lift a finger. Really I’m giving you money for nothing,” Prosciutto remarks, standing up dignifiedly from his chair. “But making new connections can only help us both, don’t you agree?”

With a small parting smile, Prosciutto departs without awaiting his answer. Risotto is left alone with the beat of his heart monitor. He doesn’t know what to think of his new acquaintance yet, but an allegiance with a stand user could change everything. If Risotto were to gain status within Passione, would it finally fill the hole in his heart left by Domenico? He honestly doesn’t know.

::::::::::::

It’s the third of December, 1992, and Risotto is in good spirits. He worked hard to restore his health after his injuries, making a point of taking better care of himself and spending many hours working on his mobility. What Prosciutto has given him is a goal, and that’s something he hasn’t had since hunting Domenico’s killer. Now, when Risotto looks in the mirror, he sees resolution. He’s going to impress his new acquaintance if it kills him.

Risotto walks along the promenade counting the houses for number 23. It’s a fancy looking place, as he expected, made of sandstone with a twisted copper fence surrounding the upstairs balcony. He passes a grove of palm trees and knocks on the door. The answer is immediate.

“One moment, one moment,” Prosciutto calls impatiently. The smaller man opens the door and Risotto is struck by the smell of expensive cigarettes. “Sorry, do you mind?” Prosciutto asks, gesturing to the cigarette in his hand.

“Not at all,” Risotto assures him. “May I come in?”

Prosciutto walks wordlessly into the living room and Risotto gets the hint to follow. The pair sit down on a lavish settee. Risotto finds himself anxious in such an alien place to him.

“You live on Firenze street, close to the cinema, yes?” Prosciutto enquires.

“Yes. Piece of shit dump.”

“Tell me about it. I used to live just on the next road when I started out with my first squad,” Prosciutto reminisces. Risotto leans forward in surprise.

“You’re self-made?”

“More like… earned back,” Prosciutto clarifies. “Though for the record you’ll find most of my possessions here are cheaper than they look. I’m not nearly as rich as I was as a young man. Perhaps someday,” he hopes.

“When did you join Passione?” Risotto asks curiously.

“Three years ago. If you’d started just a few months earlier, we would have been neighbours,” he muses.

“And your stand?”

“Now that’s newer. I’ve had it for the best part of a year.”

Risotto taps his leg nervously.

“How did you do it? Move up the ranks so quickly?”

Prosciutto tuts.

“Wondering how you’re still stuck as Polpo’s postboy at the same point in your career I was lined up for a stand?” he asks cuttingly. Risotto chokes out a half-formed rebuttal, then looks down in shame. “A bit of luck, a bit of knowing the right people, and a lot of speaking bullshit,” Prosciutto answers. “It also doesn’t help that… you know…”

“You can say it. Everyone knows I’m an utter state and sometimes I legitimately impress people by waking up alive in the morning,” Risotto grumbles.

“Well, that’s one way to put it. If it’s any consolation you’re no worse than most at your level of the organisation. The problem comes when you want to move up,” Prosciutto takes another drag of the cigarette and leans back into the cushions. “You’re hardly a rare case. You thought Passione would be something it wasn’t for you and now you aren’t sure what you’re living for.”

“Did you… look into me?” Risotto asks defensively. Prosciutto shakes his head.

“Like I said, it’s a common story. I don’t really need to look into you to know.”

“It’s not entirely true,” Risotto protests. “I never really expected anything out of Passione. I just didn’t think I’d care what happened to me anymore. Sometimes I don’t, but it still hurts.”

“Shit parents?”

“No! Well, yes. But they weren’t the ones who raised me so it doesn’t matter. Someone… died, someone very close to me, and in avenging him I asked Passione to protect me. I had to join them of course, in exchange, but I didn’t mind. I thought I’d be at peace once I had my vengeance. I was wrong,” he says quietly. Prosciutto is quiet for a moment.

“Come on, let’s get ready to go.”

::::::::::::

It’s a cold night. Risotto is starting to regret volunteering to wait outside. His task is simple, watch the front door and shoot if the target tries to leave. He lives alone and the two guards have already been disposed of, so the job couldn’t be simpler. Risotto hopes the target really does try to run. It will make him feel like he had an actual purpose being here.

Even out here, Risotto can hear the scuffle inside. It’s a good thing they’re far from the city and there aren��t any neighbours nearby, but then again, does anyone living in Passione’s territory really still trust the police enough to call them?

After what feels like ages, the door falls open. Risotto aims his gun and prepares to seize his moment, only to find the stumbling target looks half-dead already as he collapses onto the porch. He fires a couple of shots anyway, just for good measure.

Prosciutto steps out. He kicks the body. Risotto starts to walk forward.

“No!” Prosciutto shouts. Risotto stops in his tracks. “Alright, you can come now,” Prosciutto permits him. Risotto steps forward uncertainly. “Apologies, my stand is indiscriminate so I can’t have you going near it. It’s gone now, so you’re safe. Come, come over here,” Prosciutto urges.

Risotto eyes the dead body in front of him. He is struck immediately by how old and shrivelled it seems- he could have sworn the politician was only in his early 60s.

“Is your stand… aging?” he asks.

“Well-guessed. It’s morbid, I know, but it does the job,” Prosciutto confirms. “You’re welcome to leave now. Cleaning up is a delicate process and it’s best I do it myself.”

“So this is it, I just go now?” Risotto says, a little disappointed.

“You have your money, don’t you? Now go, before someone drives by!” Prosciutto urges him. Risotto sulks away down the front path. “And Risotto?” he calls back. Risotto turns to listen to him. “I’ll be sure to give you a call if I ever need you again. You’ve impressed me, Risotto.”

The young man smiles. He nods in acknowledgement.

“Thank you, Prosciutto. I hope we can work again together soon.”

::::::::::::

It’s May, and Risotto is freshly 21. He finishes sweeping the floor of the kitchen and sits at the table, taking a sip of his coffee as he watches out the window. There’s a knock on the door.

“Hello?” Risotto says, opening it. The sight that greets him is a surprise- the familiar figure of Prosciutto Crepuscolo standing at his doorway.

“Apologies for the delay, I finally had an excuse to meet with you,” Prosciutto greets him. “May I come in?”

“By all means,” Risotto smiles. The two enter the apartment.

“You’re looking… better, Risotto,” Prosciutto notices. Risotto brushes his fingers through his hair.

“I wouldn’t say I’m doing well, but it’s a start,” he agrees. “So, what finally dragged you out here?”

“It’s possible I might have a position for you,” Prosciutto announces. Risotto perks up eagerly.

“Under you?”

“Over me,” Prosciutto corrects him.

“Now I’m intrigued.”

Prosciutto steeples his fingers and starts to explain.

“Passione is forming a new squad. Assassination, at long last. No more running around Naples for volunteers last minute. I’ve been chosen, no surprise, but I’ve made it very clear I refuse to be team leader. I have personal commitments. It wouldn’t be ideal. I’ve already got two others on the team with me, good men I’ve known for a while, but I’ve been told in no uncertain terms not to let either of them anywhere near positions of power. You on the other hand, my superiors are willing to consider.”

“I’m hardly qualified.”

“You’d be surprised how good an option you are. Being able to kill without a second thought is rare enough in itself, and on each of the few occasions your combat prowess has come into play, you’ve performed exceptionally. While it’s true you don’t have much experience as a leader, you’ve got all the hallmarks of someone who could be taught to be one. And you will be taught. I’ll be there to teach you.” Prosciutto assures him. He leans back in his seat. “There’s only one issue. We need to get you a stand.”

“I see. Can you get me put through for one?” Risotto asks.

“With your consent I can get you put through tomorrow. But I need you to be certain, Risotto, I need you to agree to lead us.”

Risotto takes a moment to think. He breathes deeply.

“I agree Prosciutto. I’ll do it.”

“Excellent. It’s time we got you out of this dump.”

Risotto wakes the next morning to knocking on the door of his new bedroom. He sits up and takes a moment to regard the room around him, his mind planning already how he’s going to make it look once it’s concretely his. Really though, he’s just glad to have a space to himself now.

“Risotto it’s time to get up,” Prosciutto calls impatiently.

“I’m awake,” Risotto answers him. “Give me one minute and I’ll be dressed.”

Risotto hurries into his clothes and exits the room. Prosciutto is waiting for him, leaned against the wall. He regards Risotto with a nod.

“We aren’t expected at any particular time, but I’d rather we go sooner than later. Best to get it out of the way.”

“I’d prefer that too,” Risotto agrees. “Let me finish getting ready and we’ll head out.”

Prosciutto follows Risotto downstairs into the large front room. Risotto can tell Passione intends to grow this team beyond its current meagre size, else they wouldn’t get a house this big. At least he can enjoy the privacy while it lasts.

Down in the sitting room, two men look up from their sofa. They are entangled in each other, arms splayed lovingly over each other’s shoulders with little care who sees them. The smaller blond shuffles from his partner’s lap. He crosses his legs and looks at Risotto with wicked eyes.

“And who might this be, Pros? Our first victim?” he asks. The dark-haired man beside him presses his knuckles to his lips in a poor attempt to hide his malicious smile.

“This is Risotto Nero,” Prosciutto corrects him. “Should all go to plan, our leader.”

“What a young face,” the dark-haired man remarks.

“And so… uniquely dressed,” his partner adds. They pass a wicked glint between them.

“Risotto, this is Sorbet, and his husband Gelato,” Prosciutto introduces them, pointing to each. “The two recruits I mentioned earlier.”

“Recruits?” Sorbet asks, a hint of offense in his voice.

“We’ve been in the game far longer than you have, Prosci,” Gelato agrees.

“You both know what I mean,” Prosciutto sighs. He leads Risotto to the door and the pair get up after them. “Where on earth are you going?” he asks.

“We thought we might go with you, to… see our new friend off,” Sorbet explains.

“Very well, but no dawdling,” Prosciutto agrees.

The four pile into Prosciutto’s spotless Ford, the man himself taken the driver’s seat as Risotto sits behind him. Sorbet and Gelato jump eagerly into the back, gripping the seats in front of them and holding their faces way too close to Risotto for comfort.

“Now, you remember what to do?” Prosciutto checks.

“Yes,” Risotto assures him.

“My advice would be to find a street with no wind and stay there. Occupy yourself mentally, but don’t walk around or you’ll be asking for trouble,” Prosciutto advises.

“Thank you, Prosciutto, I’ll remember that. Any hope of you telling me how I’ll actually get the stand?” Risotto vies.

“Sorry, no chance. Just believe me when I say I have faith in you.”

“Very well,” Risotto accepts. He chuckles quietly.

Prosciutto drives just a few more minutes before stopping at the gates of a prison. He regards Risotto’s surprise with a reassuring pat to the shoulder.

“The guards will let you in, don’t worry. Go now, we have faith.”

Risotto thanks him with a smile and steps from the vehicle. A hand tugs his wrist. He turns to see Gelato holding onto him.

“Prosciutto’s going to tell me off for saying this, but drop the lighter. It’s what you’re actually meant to do.”

Unsure of what to say, Risotto shakes him off and carries on towards the gates. He hears the conversation behind him.

“Gelato, what on earth are you doing?!” Prosciutto chides.

“Giving him a faster death.”

::::::::::::

Risotto pushes against the arrow with all his might as it digs into his chest. He lets out a grunt of exasperation as he battles for his life, adamant in the resolution that he refuses to die today. He begins to hear screaming, passive at first and then steadily louder. It isn’t him, but it’s coming from within him. The iron grate by his side begins to twist and contort.

::::::::::::

“So, do you think he’s dead yet?” Sorbet says humourlessly. He checks his nails while caressing Gelato’s head in his lap.

“He’s going to be fine. I really don’t know why you have so little faith in him,” Prosciutto admonishes him. The pair chuckle.

“He’s just another dumb fuck dragged in from the gutter. There’s no way he could possibly survive obtaining a stand,” Gelato maintains.

“I’d like to see you say that to his face when he gets home alive,” Prosciutto tuts.

The front door clicks, the lock giving way on its own accord. The door swings open and Risotto Nero steps through, a cascading wave of metal swirling around his torso at his command. He reaches his hand into the iron dust and a shining blade is molded from the air. He presents it to Prosciutto proudly.

“Will this be adequate, Prosciutto?”

The older man stifles a laugh and looks over to the stunned lovers on the opposite sofa.

“My friends, I think it’s time you gave your new leader the greeting he deserves.”

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #risotto nero #l'inizio

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amarillokidding · 3 years ago

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Something happened to me yesterday and I wasn't going to talk about it but now that I woke up still upset about it I think I have to.

My mom brought her friends over for a 'party' and I don't like them bc it ends up with her really drunk and she's been having drinking problems for the past 3 years and its something I've been struggling with. Almost every week I have to make sure shes okay and worry about her and its taken its mental toll on me. Well yesterday her friends and my uncle (who I now genuinely actually hate) started calling me a child and mentally ill directly to my face after I told my mom she should go to bed bc it was 4am and she had work tomorrow.

I told them that they were being disrespectful in MY house, and one guy* was very smug "what rent do YOU pay" as if he knew anything about me and my life?? And this one woman I've never seen before started saying to call the police after I mentioned that we could get a noise complaint and they all started saying they would call the police on me and take me away for being mentally ill. She got in my face and called me a child and I did raise my voice at her at this point that this was my house, I work and pay bills and I could kick them out if I wanted to especially after all they've just said to me.

And then I hear my uncle behind me say, I'm paraphrasing bc after this my ears started ringing and I couldn't believe what was happening, "I can't believe your acting like this, especially after what happened with (my dads name)." He purposely brought up my dad to upset me and then he said "he told me a lot of stuff about you and that you're not well" I asked him angrily what he was talking about and he said "No bc if you dont know maybe there's a reason he didnt tell you"

I had to physically stop myself from actually genuinely punching him and fighting with him and it hurt me. I wanted to hurt him so bad and my body was shaking and I started to cry and I got very angry. He said all this in front of people I didn't know who didn't even know my dad and I heard many agree with him. I felt like I was being bullied by my uncle and my moms friends. My mom agreed with him as well and she looked at me with so much hate in her eyes and at this point my brother and sister show up. My brother is also sort of drunk but he manages to lead everyone out and they listen to him bc he's a man and he's older than me. He still yells at me later for kicking out guests even after I explain anything and also my mom has an alcohol problem and I don't want to find her dead one morning from alcohol poisoning or if she slept improperly and choked or something. I wanted her to go to sleep bc I care about her and I dont want to lose her after my dad died so recently. Her friends mocked me for thinking she was going to die as if they didnt understand I have a genuine concern for her especially since my family is still grieving.

I don't even know why they started calling me mentally ill. I think my mom must have told them and my uncle at some point that I'm going through stuff which upsets me now as they have this picture in their head about me that's very superficial. There's so much more that happened, like who some specific ppl were and they very specific way they told me stuff and how it felt like they were finally telling me what they actually felt about me. My brother says that it shouldn't have 'gotten' to me and he treated this one guy* as if he didnt do anything wrong bc he's his girlfriends father. I feel like if he wasnt then my brother would have agreed with me that what he said was out of line especially since he was in my house. I didn't go to sleep until like 7am and now its like 3pm when I'm waking up and im still so angry about it. I didn't expect ppl that I dont know to act that way towards me. My siblings and me did speak about stuff later on and we agreed to talk about it together. Idk I just read over the whole thing and I doesnt even come off as insane and heated as it got. But everything I wrote but x10 as intense.

Obviously DON'T REBLOG this LMAO!!! if anyone wants to tell me something like 'that sucks' or 'sorry that happened to you' I appreciate it but I also probably won't respond back. This affected me so much last night and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Its the next day and I'm just as upset about it right now as I was last night. I really just wanted to talk about it and vent it out of me bc I'm dealing with so much and I can't believe that happened last night.

#ill probably delete this at some point maybe ill get embarrased about it or something LOL.#long post/#d

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marauder-exe · 5 years ago

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Sweater- Remus Lupin

Request: Hey boo! Love your writing, and that prompt list? Aaaaamazing. Maybe you could do one with remus with 54,64 and 79 from prompt list #2?? If not that's totally cool, I Don't know, just got that idea last night:) Lots of loveee.

Prompts:

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

64. “Your bedhead is really cute”

79. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

Word count: 1.6K

You where so Absolutely, Undeniably, Indubitably tired. You had stayed up the previous night studying, and you had to pull n all nighter later tonight to study for a shitty potions exam, my god you hated N.E.W.T.S. The rest of your friends, the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, everyone had already studied and got an early night, while you procrastinated, so you had to cram the night before. This is hell, why do you do this? But you decided to take full advantage of the empty common room and decided to set up shop down their for the night. It was 10Pm, you where fresh faced, full from supper and have a cup of tea. How hard could Potions be to grasp?

It turns out very hard. All of the stuff that actually went into your brain just got muddled up, and it just wasn't going well. Your tea had been left to go cold, and the entirety of your notes had been spilled out over the common room table. It was getting chilly, and you needed some more tea anyway, so you decided to take a break. How you hadn't gotten colder earlier is a mystery, as you where wearing biker shorts and a tank top. You grabbed your cup, and stood up, when the cold sent a shiver down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. Then an idea popped into your head. Every day since you met him, Remus Lupin had worn the exact same, comfy looking, sweater, day in, day out. And to be honest, that's something you could use right now. You crept up the stairs, closer to the boys dorm, and quietly knocked on, you waited a few seconds, but there was no reply.

“Rem?” You whisper-shouted.

Then almost instantaneously, the door swung open, revealing none other than Remus Lupin, with no shirt, plaid pyjama pants and a book in his hand. Of course. He gave you a warm smile as he opened the door for you to step into the room. Man he looked so damn adorable in the low light.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing up, its like 2Am?” He gave a questioning look.

“I'm sorry, its what?” Since when did it get that late, you could've sworn you'd only started studying an hour ago. He nodded toward the clock on his night stand, which, in classic Remus fashion, was also drowned in old books and chocolate. You let out a quiet giggle.

“Guess the time just got away from me. I was wondering...” You chuckled nervously, why was it so damn hard to ask this man for a sweater. Right, he was Remus. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you, and I could really use the comfort right now?” He just kinda stood there, jaw slack, fumbling over his words, trying to explain how much he would love to give you any sweater he owned, without sounding creepy of course.

“If you two are gonna shag, could you maybe do it quietly? I'm trying to sleep here” The grumbled voice of Sirius came from the end bed. Remus threw a pillow at him as you both blushed profusely.

“Yeah.” He said abruptly. “I mean yeah, of course you can, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah” He repeated, with a nervous laughter.

“So, can I borrow it?” You questioned sarcastically with a laugh.

“Yeah, ill go get it” He laughed lowly. He tried to be as smooth as he could but when you where around, he had the function of a paper plate. Trying to retrieve the jumper from his trunk, he slipped a few times, laughing and mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’. How can one man be so cute. He quickly jogged back over to you, about to hand you the sweater, when he stopped to admire your beauty for a second, your face lit by the candle light. Well what he thought to be a second but was more closer to a minute, being snapped out of his daydream by a quiet ‘Rem?’ Coming from you. God he loved that nickname. He laughed and apologised, handing you the sweater.

“Don't stay up too late though, love, you wont be able to focus if you have no sleep” he lectured. “You want some chocolate to take down with you?” You gratefully accepted his offer, marvelling at the mass amounts of chocolate he had. He gave you a variety. You knew he had given you his expensive chocolate he had gotten for his birthday. But you pretended not to notice and thanked him for the gesture with a kiss on the cheek as you quickly ushered out of the room. Scared if you stayed too long, you'd do something you regret. Of course, you left so quick, you just missed the deep blush that appeared on Remus’ face as he held a hand against his cheek where you had just kissed. He heard a low “Man, you are soooooo whipped” From Sirius, but just threw a pillow at him. He lay back down on his bed, dreaming of you.

After your sweater and chocolate exchange with Remus, you decided to duck back into the kitchens for some more tea. A quick caffeine top up is just what you needed. As you got back to the common room it was quickly approaching 2:30Am, You decided to get a few more hours of study done, but now in Remus’ comfy sweater. Obviously it was wayyy to comforting, because you ended up nodding off on the common room couch at 4Am, engulfed by the sweater and surrounded by the smell of Remus.

While you slept soundly downstairs, Remus looked up at his clock. 4:45Am. Sleep alluded him lately much to his chagrin. His dreams were usually filled to the brim with you, wondering what his life would be like if you two where together. But recently, he had been thinking about doing something about it, causing him some sleepless nights. He though you liked him, he was 90% sure, okay more like 60%. But the marauders had him convinced that she liked him back. Hell even lily knew that the Gryffindor princess was smitten for Werewolf Boy. He just wanted you to be his, and for him to not be a bumbling, stammering, blushing mess around you He lay in his own head space for about 45 minutes, until he realised you where still downstairs. He was worried you might work yourself to death at this rate. So he quietly shuffled out of his bed, making his way down the stairs. What he saw when he got down there was, perhaps, the one thing he’d want to see for the rest of his life. You where curled up around a pillow on the common room couch, Remus’ sweater drowning you. You where bathing in the Dawn sunlight, and you looked absolutely ethereal. He thought if there was heaven on earth this would be it. If there where big, cartoon heart eyes in real life, he’d definitely have them right bout now. He stood there staring at you, with his big, cartoon heart eyes for a solid five minutes, until you began to stir and wake up. He tried to busy himself looking over your papers and other miscellaneous things on the table.

“Hey, Remmy, not stealing my notes are you?” You giggled in your cute morning voice. He stood, frozen and slack jawed. How could one woman be so perfect? “Rem? Oh no, what's wrong? Is it my terrible bed head?” You panicked trying to flatted your crazed hair. He quickly shook himself from his daydream.

“No, its… Your bed head is cute” He mumbled lowly, you giggled. “Its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes.”

“Well yeah, that was why I asked for it, it smells good” You breathed In the scent of his sweater, and Remus looked at you. Sat there, with a bed head, sleep deprived, having just woken up, still looking like an angel on earth. Why was he doing nothing about it? To hell if he was gonna let some douche get you before he could.

“Rem?” You questioned, blushing under his abnormally long stare. And before you knew it he had immediately rushed to you, his lips attaching to yours, passionate but hungry. He pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “Ive been wanting to do that for a while” He laughs and you giggle. But you where cut short by a slow clap ensuing from behind you, you both turned to see Sirius on the staircase, classic smirk and everything. Remus was about to scold Sirius and warn him not to tell the boys but Sirius already knew it. “Don't worry. ‘Remmmmyyyy’” He said in a dreamy voice. “I wont tell the boys” Remus released breath and started counting down.

“3...2...1...” You furrowed your brows to question him, but it was soon answered by Sirius clamouring up the stairs screaming James’ name, probably about to tell him what just happened.

“Back in a sec, love” He said before rushing after Sirius, his werewolf traits no match for Sirius’ dog ones. You just stared after him, before shrinking down into the couch, sighing dreamily.

#Remus Lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction #marauders masterlist #marauders #marauders era #marauder era

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pwblogarchive · 4 months ago

Text

September 2005

September 2, 2005

bed at 4am- day one of the video shoot. woke 5:30 am for a 6pm lobby call. car to just outside of nyc. how come starbucks in manhattan aren’t open this early. its just tragic. get to video shoot. start with some scenes revenge of the nerds style. you won’t see some of this coming and those that did hopefully you will fall in love all over again. reminds me of all the movies we grew up on. met the cast. don’t want to spill to many secrets. my mind is swirling. but in the best way possible. got to see all of the overcast kids, s.o. kids and fans- you guys did an amazing job in the video and i just feel great that we don’t have to hire “extras”. more from tommorrow.

i’m dying to not give up on this.

September 4, 2005

on the getaway car, the rush of blood to the head: it’s strange to find myself again back at the feelings of the blue cover after going through the red and the gold. its kind of always like that. i am sorry if i am not making any sense. but everybody likes to take chances and make bets. i always put my money on the longshots. and no matter where my head was in the world i always dreamed of waking up next to the biggest brown eyes i have ever seen/'meandyouunderneaththehoneymoon’.

“go back to what it meant back then”: and you imagine yourself moving deep into the summer and disappearing, and for me it was always with you. and then things got crazy. you stopped calling me back. i stopped trying to call but not in my head. and then you got malicious but i’m guessing only because you learned from the best- take back your taste and all.

i never thought it would be just me again. but that’s okay. we’re gonna hole up and wait it out. i feel like i can see for the first time, like i was born just in the last minute. wake me up. baby boy, you’re gonna be okay. hearts between our knees sticking to the summer sheets. are you catching my drift….

its gonna be alright.

your love would be hell but its just not hot enough baby.

September 6, 2005

citing 'irreconcilable differences with myself'.

selling 50,000 records a week and i can't look in the mirror.

i am disappointed in myself.

i am disappointed in this.

and it should have been kept safe.

the reason we never told anyone is because we knew the world would ruin it. and at the end of the day it did.

the whispers never stopped.

i lied. so you lied.

and it made you crazy. and i'm sorry.

people pulled us apart. lured us. and you were my home.

it didn't matter what was said when our heads were on the sides of the pillows.

last night i dreamt it turned out differently.

i would stop this in a second and move to middle of nowhere with you and disappear.

it so hard to find someone who likes me for me and not because i am pete from fall out boy.

and i found them. and then watched it fade.

dear world, fuck you.

- petey

September 7, 2005

first. most of our fans are amazing. thank you for being you- you made last year amazing. i want to make this year amazing for you. the new songs are insane.

second. please leave my friends alone. don't attack them.

third. there is nothing like experiencing failure at the speed of light.

'i am badnews, but i still love you...'

- petey

September 9, 2005

it’s all a balance.

+ late registration

+ new october fall song “you can dream upsidedown”

- time is not on your side

+ thundercat cat’s lair fortress

- the laser on the cat’s lair no longer lights up (but i still do)

- the workers strike at the rumor mill is over, they’re back on the job

+ dreams

- the second after the dream where you think it is all still real

+ buddy and gerard for being the best

+ seeing fob kids at the brothers grimm

- the brothers grimm

+ the red light special

+ falling asleep phone on the chin

- i love my friends but i don’t really like some of them

ill keep adding more as i think of them.

kanye wentz

check the behind the scene photos for updated pictures from the dance, dance video shoot.

09/09/05 Q&A

question

wut are petes and patricks fave things to do ????

answer

eachother.

September 11, 2005

again my internet life is hacked.

i am thinking it just wasn't meant to be.

the only thing that applies.

"try and right these wrongs but its funny how the same wrongs helped me write these songs"

143

September 12, 2005

news: back from the headshrinkers. we are gonna be on the cover of another magazine this winter and have some other exciting possiblities. we write other bands songs in our sleep. you should see us now. we are gonna have a benefit item for victims of katrina coming up soon. cause doing good makes us feel good. we are polishing up everything for october. can't wait to get back out there and off of the porch in my parents backyard.

it can't rain all the time: i love wearing your clothes cause it some how makes me feel closer to you.

01/01

09/14/05

question

Hey Pete! You guys rule.. Just wanted to tell you that. Anyways, I just got home from seeing The Exorcist of Emily Rose and it made me wonder if any of you guys have seen it? Personally it freaked me out. So my question is if you saw it what did you think of it?

answer

to me it was like law and order meets sunday school. too much “objection overruled” and not enough headspinning vomit scenes. go see Green Street Hooligans. thats what the fob nanny Chuck is like.

question

seriously, I dare you… 1-701-471-6101

answer

enough torment… don’t give strange boys your number. i am definitly the strangest boy of them all. i think i will give you one last call just cause i goofed around on here waaaaay too much, so i will say im sorry.

question

making out with the band after the show in or out in 2005?

answer

pretty out. id give it to frankie from my chem though even if it is out of style.

September 15, 2005

gotta get up at 9 am. gotta turn it around. been writing alot of words lately. the new songs are gonna blow your mind. we have a couple of things coming as our way of saying thanks for voting at the VMAs and all. also, thanks to everyone who came out for the dance, dance video. trying to get a good spring tour together for you too! something different maybe. keep your ears to the ground but keep your eyes on their hearts. new pictures up all the time from the video shoot….

i’m gonna make you shake so hard you might not make it through the night.

young

September 15, 2005

from a closed closet at bamboozle fest in nj... its all coded. i don't have any reason to post. everything is feeling alright and better since having the headshrinkers and labcoats around. you know what actually has me feeling amazing this week? "almost here". this band has grown up in front of my eyes. i haven't listened to the record in a month or so because i drove it into the ground. but its making me feel amazing right this second. but you know why mostly? because this isn't shit compared to what they have coming.

william beckett plus peter wentz.

- petey

09/17/05 Q&A

question

we are starting a band, and we having trouble any advice? I love you pete!!! I love you Joe T.

answer

it depends on the trouble. if you can’t riff- then get metallica’s ride the lightening. if it’s a vibe thing you should probably get a master p. record for some inspiration.

question

I love you guys, do you love me back? Anyways, I was wondering, Peter, how was it like shooting “Bedussey” for Release the Bats? I loved it by the way, you looked hot ;). You dudes rock. xo

answer

it wasn’t very hightech. we had a camera that our friend jim used. then i wrote some lines and patrick snorted some lines. thats kind of how it went. i wrote a sequel. i dunno when we’ll film it though- its called “bad twin”- its a bit different. just as crappy though.

question

You mention alot about robots in your posts. Do you resent these robots?

answer

do i hate myself? no way cat lady.

question

My sister and I were talking the other night who Patrick reminded us of and we came to the conclusion that he looked like the Santa from “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. What is your opinion.

answer

patrick reminds me of patrick. cause i knew him before he was this famous hottie with a body.

question

My parents have been divorced for 4 years but they still fight and my dad wont talk to my mom so i have to be put in the middle of things and i hate it and I dont know what to do to make them stop. What would you do

answer

you just have to understand that some things are far beyond your control. it is important that you tell your parents that. you don’t want to end up resenting one of them later in life for something they do now. they should keep you out of the middle.

question

Does any of the other members of FOB see these questions or are you hiding them?

answer

no they “doesn’t”.

September 19, 2005

barely awake 12:59pm.

getting the first edit of dance, dance video really soon.

we're gonna premiere it on mtv october 12. hopefully we'll have a sneak preview online soon though.

got some suprises coming up for you.

i had a dream we were playing a show last night. it felt so fucking good.

can't wait.

thinking about opening a clandestine store in chicago where we could sell that stuff, records, skate stuff and maybe have a cool place for people to hang out. i dunno though.

went to the mcr show last night.

its an honor to be put in the same sentence as that band.

i djed their after party at trevia.

pretty much that involved lots of faint and refused.

matt skiba came over and said he was proud of fob which made my heart swell cause we probably wouldn't be a band if it wasn't for alkaline.

go over to livejournal.com/~dickplan and tell him what you think his new design studio should be called. if he picks your name you can have one free clandestine outfit or a kiss from demar hamilton.

hangin with mcr at malls today. should be hilarious.

you're not even bad news, you're old news.

September 21, 2005

got a first cut of the "dance, dance" video. you guys look amazing. i think joe might be the mvp of the video. check out www.fbrvote.com - choose your own adventure. you pick the songs we play on the nintendo tour. gonna go see panic at the disco this weekend and maybe celebrate my friend's birthday. this is a fucking stick-up now give me all your tears. went out with william from the academy last night. he really puts things in perspective for me every time. when you're down it's nothing like having the family we do. i gotta get a haircut. i gotta get a life. when the chips are down, always bet on the longshots.

it's funny the way you talk about sharing an A&R; guy like it matters - it's too bad you wrote a couple of good songs, otherwise it'd be that much easier to write you off.

09/21/05

question

hey peter, i just saw some…interesting photos taken by mark hunter from a party you went to…i think it was saturday. you look like you had an eventful night, so i just wanted to know, what exactly did that guy do to make you steal his underwear/bathing suit?

answer

he’s friends with me. that was his only crime. i gave him moonshine and it was over.

question

you boys make my heart smile. do you ever get the same feeling about us?

answer

yes.

question

Hey Pete i wanna go as patrick to a school dance soo i can get into alot cheaper and what should wear??(i am a chic soo yea) and i would go as you but i dont wanna cut off my hair ..lol

answer

wait. why would that get you in cheaper?

question

Halloween… going as Pete Wentz.. in or out in 2005? its also an excuse to buy great clandestine merch..

answer

id never go as pete wentz on halloween. way too plain.

09/22/05

question

HEY PETE!!!! WHAT THE F&%K IS GOIN ON? WHAT DO U LIKE TO DRINK?

answer

apple juice or chocolate milk.

question

soo pete, you and i will both be attending the panic at the disco show saturday. why dont you dance all night to their catchy songs?

answer

i do. i drive around my neighborhood listening to it and pretend i live in other peoples houses. wooooaaah creepy.

question

are you guys planning on putting out another acoustic album with newer songs on it? if not.do it.thanks. ps.i heart you

answer

right now no… we’re thinking about maybe at some point putting out a b-sides and rarities record

question

Pete- your brother makes my heart skip a beat…. how old is he?

answer

he is 20 years old. but thats like 450 years in weed years.

question

I got to make out with my girlfriend in your music video. ;)

answer

finally. we succeeded.

question

If you werent in fall Out Boy..what do you think you would be doing right now? and whats your faborite song/lyric at this moment I heart U

answer

i dunno. playing soccer or playing dead. favorite lyric of the moment “i sleep with my arms across my chest and dream of you with someone else…”

question

wuts with the stripes in the saturday video? u guys look like a bunch of flippen pirates, especailly pete.

answer

we do anything we can you keep your beady little eyes scoping the screen. keep that brain going…

September 23, 2005

bloom. come to life. at best you got a couple of short ones. "heaven help us if this is our prime". see it all play out. observe. approach and act casual. raise the anchors. your ears and your brain have had this amazing marriage. but now they are in their golden years and the new panic at the disco record is the sexy next door neighbor. midlife crisis. take her out for a spin. don't you dare fall in love. i hope none of THE OTHER las vegas BANDs get jealous that there is another gem out in the middle of the desert. ive got saturday nights on loan from sunday but i got some pretty bad credit. lets ride it out. friday night seven days a week. just until we forget. bloom. come to life. picked from the stem. FUCKing wasting my time on FLOWERS.

if you live in chicago i hope to see you at the panic at the disco show this saturday. they play at 4:30. ill pick you up at 4 so we can get a soda on the way.

- petey

September 23, 2005

ruckus juice.

happy birthday geek.

your plans are kinda funny.

but mostly miscalculated.

put your seat upright.

this shit is gonna take off.

when you say that you stop caring about things everybody freaks out.

but the scary thing is, you stopped caring about things awhile before you even said anything.

panic at the disco in chicago on saturday.

come high five me.

the nft is gonna be so much fun, i can’t wait to see all of your pretty little faces.

09/27/05

question

fob, my heart aches because i cant have you. wuv you. ps. pete, ask patrick if he will marry me. see you in phx!

answer

he said that would be impossible.

question

Okay so theres this kid I like, but hes a grade below mine, but, somedays he acts like he likes me and somedays he doesnt..what do I do

answer

i would say take some time to get to know him. younger guys and older ladies is definitely in. just ask demi moore.

September 27, 2005

day one of nft. we are in detroit. met up with all the bands. this thing is gonna be fun. i will let you know how the first show goes later on.

younglove.

ps you fucking blew it.

September 30, 2005

i am really excited to be going home to chicago to see exactly one person. butterflies. tired eyes.

there is a body out there that was perfectly designed to fit with mine.

#fall out boy #pete wentz #livejournal

0 notes

jamaisjoons · 5 years ago

Text

faded love | pjm

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you. 〞married couple au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: jimin x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst (rip sorry) ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 16k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: couples therapy (is that a warning?), cheating/infidelity, some swearing, soft mushy smut, oral (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, lots of kissing, this is just v soft mushy sex, like super light softcore romantic porn

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: W H A T I S U P D E M O N S! I’m back with another instalment of the mixtape series, i sincerely hope you all enjoy it!! almost everything is read through and edited except the smut because like,,, its 4am and the sun is coming up and i’m ill and tired

⇥ part of the mixtape series

⏤ unedited

The signs were there.

Your relationship with your husband, Park Jimin, was slowly fading; slowly dwindling into nothingness. You don’t really recall exactly why you’ve been drifting apart or what caused the start of the drift. All you knew, was that one day, two months ago, your husband had come home with a changed, indifferent air around him. Within that long agonising month, you had tried everything to garner his attention. You suggested bike riding down the Han River liked you used to when you began dating, trying to rekindle some of the love and passion in your relationship. However, Jimin had refuted the offer, claiming he had a busy day at work and he was tired. When you suggested a date night, something relaxing like a movie and dinner, Jimin had rebuked that too, not wanting to leave home. But when you’d suggested staying in and watching a film, he’d turned that down too; heading straight to bed instead.

For two months you tried whatever you could. From planned days in so that he could rest if he was tired, all the way to suggesting fun and exciting things like trips to museums or the park like you used to when you were dating. But each and every single idea was turned down with some excuse or another. At some point you began wondering if you had done something to annoy him or said something that caused him to begin pulling away from you. But no matter how much you racked your brain, you couldn’t pinpoint any thing. He was just no longer interested in spending time with you.

You let out a soft sigh, looking at the time before your shoulders droop in disappointment. You picked at your bowl, moving around the rice with your chopsticks before you sigh and place the wooden sticks down. Getting up, your grabbed the bowls and placed them on the kitchen counter before returning for the banchan dishes. Apathetically, you begin placing them in small tupperware containers. Tonight was another night that Jimin hadn’t come home in time for dinner. Another night he’d stayed later at the office.

You know he’s busy, being the CEO of a major company and everything but that didn’t mean that you didn’t miss him. It had been more than a few months since you’d even had dinner with him, let alone seen him. Before this weird slump in your relationship, Jimin would always make time for you. He’d leave work at six on the dot just so he could be home by seven to have dinner with you. You still remember it fondly.

[Flashback two and a half months ago]

You turned the stove off, before taking the steaks off of the pan, placing them on a plate to rest. Meanwhile, you pulled the potatoes out of the oven and plated them. Checking over the time, you let out a small smile. It was almost seven o’clock; which meant Jimin would be home soon. Tossing the salad, you moved the bowl to the dining table. It didn’t take you long to finish setting up the table, dimming the lights and lighting the candles for a little mood lighting.

Glancing at the clock once again, your stomach somersaults in anticipation. It was seven o’clock, which meant your beloved husband would be home at any moment now. You don’t have to wait long, in fact you’re barely waiting a few seconds, before you hear the telltale sound of keys jingling in the door. You spin on your heel, grinning with giddiness as your beautiful husband walks through the living room and into the dining room, one arm behind his back.

Jimin takes in the scene with a surprised gasp, his lush lips forming a perfect ‘o’, from the hot dinner laden on the table, to the candlelight, to your made up self. His face softens and he lets out a tender smile, walking up to you and taking you in his one free arm. The toned arm wraps around you, pulling you into him before he swoops down, crushing your lips between his plush ones.

You practically melted into his embrace, a soft sigh leaving your mouth as you taste him. Your hands move from your side to rest on his chest, pressing softly into the taut muscles before sliding up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down and closer to you. A couple moments later, he pulls away but only slightly, his lips still lingering next to yours. You slowly open your eyes, staring deeply into his as he peppers soft, lazy kisses on your lips.

“I missed you so much” Jimin whispers, his lips grazing yours from how close he is, voice slightly hoarse from your kiss. You let out a small smile, standing on your tip toes and kissing him once again. Suddenly, he’s moving the arm behind his bag, brandishing a beautiful bouquet of pale cream roses and white lilies. You gasp slightly, completely unsurprised, but loving the tender gesture anyway. You take the bouquet from him gently, deeply inhaling the strong musky scent of the lilies mixed with the sweet scent of roses.

“You hate the smell of lilies” You point out, turning and walking back into the kitchen to fetch a vase. Jimin lets out a small huff, following you like a puppy.

“I do” Jimin says, nose scrunched at the strong smell of the flowers.

“And you still buy them every week because?” You question, placing the bouquet in a vase filled with water as your finger traces a petal.

“Because you love lilies and I love you, even if I can’t stand the smell of them” Jimin replies, pressing his chest against your back and wrapping his arms around your waist before kissing the back of your shoulder tenderly. Your heart swells at his gesture, leaning back into his embrace.

“I love you” You whisper, Jimin’s arms tightening around you.

“I love you too. More than I thought it possible to love someone” Jimin replies, pressing another kiss onto your shoulder. You let out a small sigh before unwrapping his arms from around your waist and dragging him into the dining room. Jimin takes a seat at one end, you on the other. You reach over to serve him but he lightly smacks your hand away before entwining his fingers with yours, pulling your hand to his lips and kissing the spot he hit.

“You already cooked dinner; at least let me serve you” Jimin says and you bite your lip to try and stop your smile. You nod, taking a seat once again as Jimin serves you both a steak along with some salad and potatoes. The two of you fall into an easy silence, just the sound of cutlery scraping against the ceramic plates filling the room. Jimin takes a bite, plush lips slightly pouted and soft cheeks puffed as he chews. He closes his eyes and lets out a small groan, revelling in the taste.

“Gods, this steak is amazing. You really spoil me ____” Jimin says, relishing in the flavour. You chuckle slightly at his over exaggeration.

“I thought we could have something a bit different than our usual” You replied cheerily and Jimin nods, sending you a thumbs up.

“Definitely a good idea. Ten out of ten”

“So how was work?” You ask and Jimin lets out a small sigh before he begins speaking about how hard his day had been. You wince slightly when he tells you he had to fire a CFO for embezzling money and then had to spend the rest of the day sorting out the mess and the paperwork. You reach over and place your hand on his, offering him the little bit of comfort you could. You, yourself, could never understand stuffy office jobs. Instead, you owned your own little clothing company, from which you could work at home as you designed whatever came to mind.

“But enough of me. How was your day? Did you design anything brilliant?” Jimin questions, and you nod enthusiastically. You quickly get up run into your little design studio, grabbing your sketchbook and bringing it back to him. You flip open to the newest page, showing off your creation as you explain it to him. For the most of it, Jimin smiles and encourages you to continue, making small comments on what he thinks you could improve every now and then.

You spend the rest of dinner idly chatting, fingers lightly touching each other; just wanting to feel the other. And then, when dinner is done, Jimin drags you into your shared bedroom, proceeding to show you just exactly how much he missed you at work.

[End of flashback]

A small smile falls on your face as the fond memory ends. You glance back at the clock. It’s only a little past eight. Eyes flicking to the packed tupperware containers, you make a quick decision. Jimin had been working late far too much lately and you couldn’t fault him for that, being a CEO he was busy. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t head over to his company and take dinner to him. When was the last time you had done that? You can’t even remember. Determination floods you and you nod to yourself before packing up the containers into a bag.

Half an hour later, you find yourself at Jimin’s company. You walk through the large glass doors, heels clicking along the marble flooring. The reception greets you with a smile and bow, most of the company workers already knowing who you are. You enter the elevator, clicking the button that leads you to Jimin’s floor before standing in the middle, humming along to the elevator music, food in your hands.

A couple moments later and the elevator dings, doors opening. Jimin’s secretary is nowhere to be found, most likely already gone home for the day considering it’s already nine o’clock. You look towards the glass window, shoulders slumping as you realise he’s in with someone. Vaguely, she looks familiar to you. Her long hair flows down her back, dressed in a burgundy pant suit. Her face turns slightly and recognition fills you. If you remember correctly, her name was Cheon Yoojin and she was a CEO of a company Jimin was hoping to merge with. You had met her three months ago.

[Flashback three months ago]

“God I hate these parties” Jimin whines, his hand on your back as he leads you through the large gallery, smiling at various people as he passes them. You roll your eyes before elbowing him in the stomach lightly.

“It’s not like I enjoy being here either. We only do this because your company holds these parties and as the CEO you have to attend” You replied shortly, Jimin sighing.

“I know, I know! But that doesn’t mean I have to like it” Jimin whines before he pulls you closer, “it doesn’t help when you look as good as you do. I just want to take you home” Jimin whispers in your ear, voice low. You blush, face heating before you elbow him again.

“Jimin! You can’t do that here” You admonish, Jimin sighing before pouting again.

“Let’s just get this over and done with so we can leave” Jimin says and you giggle at his words before leaning in closer.

“You know… I’m not wearing any underwear” You whisper lowly in his ear. Jimin’s eyes widen, his gaze flicking towards your backside before groaning lowly.

“You can’t just tell me I’m not allowed to say I want to take you home and then tell me that” Jimin gripes. You send him a suggestive look before shrugging and walking away from his, a slight sway to your hips. Jimin groans, almost as if in pain, before following you quickly, hand once again on the small of your back.

“Just wait till we get home” Jimin growls and you bite your lip to suppress the small grin forming on your lips.

Jimin leads you to a small group of people. Most of them are men who are much older than your husband; all standing around talking about whatever business men spoke about. Their wives stand next to them, engaging in their own conversation about whatever gossip was running through the community. If you were being honest, you didn’t really care. Most of them were boring old men who cared far too much about money and having the best trophy wife. The wives were no better, most of them marrying rich with nothing better to do than to gossip about everyone else. However, amongst them, is one woman who looks about the same age as your husband, maybe slightly older.

“Gentleman. Ladies” Jimin greets with a small bow of respect towards his seniors. The men turn to him, smiling and nodding back.

“Ah! Jimin-ssi! It’s nice of you to finally join your own party. We were just talking about when you and your lovely wife would show up” one of the men says, practically leering at you with sparkling eyes as he rakes over your figure. You felt your stomach turn queasy, Jimin’s hold on you tightening. You smile tightly, knowing you had to be respectful, no matter how much you wanted to grab his wife’s drink and spill it in his face. What a pig!

“____-ssi, that’s a beautiful dress! Did you design it yourself?” One of the wives gushes, looking at your floor length gown. You turn to her, smiling politely as you nod.

“Oh it’s wonderful! You simply must design one for me” Another wife pipes in and you pull out a business card from your purse, handing it to her. She smiles brightly, taking it from your grasp. This was the only reason you even loathed to attend these parties. In fact, your biggest customer base was desperate housewives who had nothing better to do than spend their husband’s money. Custom made designer clothing was sought after throughout the entire community. Not just anyone could afford an entire wardrobe of hand tailored clothing after all.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met” the young woman says and you turn to her, blinking slightly. Up close she’s incredibly beautiful, from her sharp eyes and red lips all the way down to her elegant neckline. She’s built like a supermodel and you briefly wonder just whose wife she is.

“Yoojin-ssi, this is my wife ____. Yeobo, this is Cheon Yoojin. She’s the CEO of a company I’m hoping to merge with. Do you remember? I told you about it before” Jimin introduces and your eyes widen slightly. You reach out your hand, diamond wedding ring glinting in the light as you shake hands with Yoojin. You can’t help but admire and respect her; not only was she stunningly beautiful, she was also the CEO of a successful company at her young age. Not to mention she somehow had the respect of all the older men around her, who still only saw you as a piece of arm candy despite your own incredibly successful, albeit small, clothing business.

The two of you stand with the group for another ten minutes. Jimin engages in conversation with the men and Yoojin, trying to keep the conversation business related. However, for the most of it, the men only want to comment on the different women around, making slightly misogynistic comments every now and then that has you and Yoojin rolling your eyes. The wives don’t even bother paying attention to the conversation, instead trying to drag you into a conversation on your newest clothing line. You don’t divulge much, knowing that the added suspense and secrecy would undoubtedly ignite their curiosity and make them want to buy your clothing even more.

“Gentleman. Ladies. If you’ll excuse us, I would like to dance with my wife” Jimin says after a while, the women around him swooning and gushing as they watch Jimin lead you away.

“God that was awful. If I had to spend one more second there with those men ogling you, I was going to lose my mind” Jimin gripes, leading you towards the dancefloor. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close, your own arms wrapping around his neck automatically; fingers entangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Yeah… try being the one they’re speaking about" You answer, rolling your eyes as you remember some of their words from before.

"Let's just forget them and enjoy ourselves, yeah?" Jimin says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You nod, tucking your head under his chin as he gentle sways you to the music.

You breathe him in deeply, taking in his deep citrus and musk cologne, letting the smell wash over you. Closing your eyes, you lose yourself in the feel of his presence wrapped around you, allowing him to slowly lead you around the dancefloor. Jimin removes one of your hands from around his neck, entangling your fingers together and kissing the pads of your fingertips before once again wrapping it around his neck. His cheek is pressed into your head as he sways you; one of his hands on the small of your back while the other sits loosely on the back of your hip.

"I hate these parties so much but..." Jimin whispers, his breath fanning the hairs on your head.

"But?"

"But they're slightly more bearable with you. I love you" Jimin whispers, his voice low in your ear and yet it rings louder than even the classical music from the orchestra.

"I love you too" you sigh, more than happy to just be in your husband’s arms.

[End of flashback]

You remember the night with a happy smile, gripping the bag of food even tighter as you think about finally spending time and having dinner with your husband once again. You needed him to stop pulling away from you because of work and spend some time with you because you missed him dearly. You turn back to his office, wondering if they were done.

And then your heart stops.

Because there is your husband, the love of your life, with his lips on Cheon Yoojin.

Your heart instantaneously drops to your stomach. You can hear the drumming of your heartbeat thunder in your ears, drowning out the sound of anything else. You can't look away from the scene. A small part of you waits for something to happen. For Jimin to push her off. For him to tell her he loves you. For him to stop kissing her.

But moments pass and he's still locked lips with her. A slight hope flares in your chest as he pulls away from her. You watch the scene, completely fixated in a sick, twisted way. But then, he steps closer to her, his eyes dark and filled with want. The way he looks at you. His hand grabs her chin and then he pulls her into another kiss. The small inkling of hope that ignited in your chest completely burns out and you're left with nothing but an aching, broken heart.

Your fist clenches around the hand of the bag carrying your now completely cold dinner. You close your eyes, finally breaking away from the scene. Spinning on your heel, you walk away, your heart breaking with every step.

Somehow, you manage to stop yourself from breaking down in the car ride home. Somehow, you hold yourself together right up until you enter your home. Home... what a strange word. This was definitely your home. But now, it didn't feel like it. You trudge through the apartment, breath shaky and tears welling in your eyes. But they still don't fall. You feel completely numb.

You walk into your room, completely catatonic and moving as if on auto pilot. You sit on your bed, staring at nothing in particular as you remember the way he kissed her. The scene plays in your mind over and over again. As if it were a broken record stuck on repeat. The moonlight streaming through your window catches a large photo frame hanging on one of the walls. Your eyes are unspeakably drawn to the glinting photo.

It's your wedding photo.

It's a candid shot. You and Jimin are staring at each other, smiling tenderly at one another. Jimin's arm is around your waist, his head slightly bent and leaned into yours, almost as if he's about to kiss you. The white of your dress is a stark contrast against his black suit, the pale pink bouquet of roses on the floor as you hold onto his arms. The sun is setting in the background, both your silhouettes set ablaze with a halo of sunlight.

You remember the day as if it were yesterday. It was the happiest day of your life. Jimin sang to you in that sweet voice of his. He danced with you. Held you close. He kissed you and told you he loved you. The memory of him reciting his wedding vows pops into your mind. Followed immediately by the memory of seeing him kiss Yoojin.

And then you can't help it. You break down, sobs wracking through your body as you cry into the dark, quiet of your room. Your body shakes with your cries, tears flowing freely. You feel the warmth of them run down your cheeks before disappearing into your shirt. You fall back onto the bed, curled into a ball as you weep out all your feelings, all the hurt and heartache you feel. Your husband was cheating on you.

Park Jimin was cheating on you.

You cry and cry until finally, you can't cry anymore. You're throat is raw, now only dry hiccuping as you somehow run out of tears. Your heart aches, your headaches and your eyes sting. You slowly close your eyes, still sobbing but tears refusing to fall. Your cries are quiet in the night, slowly dying until you finally fall asleep from exhaustion.

He doesn't come home that night.

You're not surprised.

When he comes home the next day, he apologises to you saying he had to work late. A part of you wants to call him out, to tell him that you know. But you can't bring yourself to say the words. You know that as soon as you do, there's no going back. The minute you tell him you know, your relationship with Park Jimin is over. But despite how much he's hurt you, you still love him with everything you have. Your heart still belongs to him. You still want and need him in your life.

A part of you thinks that perhaps you could just never mention it and try everything in your power to bring him back to you. So that's what you do. You try to appeal to him more, try to spend more time with him. You try your hardest to remind you why he fell in love with you and why he married you. But the harder you try, the more he pulls away. Bit by bit, he slips from your life. You can feel him fall out of love with you; see it in his eyes. He didn't buy you flowers every week anymore. He no longer kissed you goodbye. He no longer sent you little messages about how much he loved and missed you. The more you try to occupy his attention, the more he refutes you, and your heart just aches all over again, longing for him to come back to you.

Months pass like this. Every time he leaves for work, you wonder if he's going to meet her. You wonder if he's buying her flowers like he used to for you. You wonder if he's texting her photos of the cats he spots on his way to work. You wonder if he kisses her like he used to kiss you. You don’t want to, but you can’t help but wonder if he loves her the way he loved you.

You sit at your desk, staring at your blank art book. You haven't had the inspiration to design anything recently. Your eyes well up with tears and you try to blink them away, not wanting to cry anymore. There was something that you could still do to bring him back. Surely, you weren’t supposed to just watch your husband disappear.

You turn to one of the clothing racks in your design room, a piece of lingerie sticking out. It's a soft baby blue colour, made of satin and lace. You remember designing it with Jimin in mind; knowing that he'd love seeing you in it.

Suddenly, an idea pops in your head and you quickly grab the lingerie off the rack. You enter the bathroom, looking yourself over before grimacing. Your eyes were red and bloodshot, skin slightly pale and hair practically a rat’s nest. When was the last time you had even brushed it? You shake your head, stripping and getting in the shower. You spend the next hour or so shaving every part of your body, deep conditioning your hair and moisturising your body. When you're done in the bathroom, you walk to your vanity before dolling up yourself as much as you can. When you're finally done, your makeup is perfectly blended and light, highlighting your natural features, your still hair still slightly damp and dripping down your neck, drawing attention to your breasts in the lingerie.

You hear the front door open and your stomach churns with nerves. Your palms become sweaty but you shake of the anxious feeling. It shouldn't be hard to seduce your own husband. You had done so many times before, sometimes without even trying. You could do it once again. You'd show him how much you loved him and try and remind him how much he loved you.

The bedroom door opens and you stand up, facing him with your most sultry look. Jimin trudges into the room and you walk up to him, your hips swaying slightly. Jimin's jaw drops, his eyes raking your figure and excitement fills your entire being as you begin feeling giddy. He gulps slightly, his mouth slightly ajar as he takes in the powder blue lingerie against your skin. You place a hand on his chest and stare up at him through half lidded eyes, your bottom lip slightly poked out in a pout.

"I missed you" You whisper, voice deliberately husky, hand running down his chest. However, before you can reach the waistband of his trousers, Jimin's hand is shooting out, catching your hand in his. You startle slightly, eyes snapping towards his in shock. You search his eyes and your heart breaks at the obvious guilt flashing in them as well as the reluctance.

"I'm not... in the mood ___... I'm tired" Jimin says but you know it's an excuse. Suddenly, you spot a pink mark hidden behind his ear and you pull your hand away as if he's burned you. You stare at him in shock, your eyes scanning over his entire face, looking for any sign that would prove your hunch wrong. You find none.

His eyes are alight with guilt and nervousness, his hair slightly damp with sweat. The pink mark is unmistakably a hickey, and now that you weren't focused on seducing him, you can smell the faint scent of sex around him. You step away from him, eyes wide in disbelief.

You don't even wait for him to say anything, instead turning and walking away from him.

After that, you try less and less. If Jimin's noticed a change, he doesn't say anything. Instead, he's content to go along as if there isn't a huge rift amongst the two of you. You spend all your time throwing yourself into your work, designing and putting out clothing as if you were a machine. It helps take your mind off of things; helps you stop wondering where he is.

The day you dread comes six months after the first time you caught him cheating that night in his office. Jimin comes home early and the minute he steps into your home, you notice something is wrong. He's slightly nervous and fidgety, barely able to look you in the eyes. He calls you to the dining room and you join him, sitting across from him stoically as you watch him.

You both sit in silence for a few moments, neither of you saying anything. You open your mouth to ask him what this is about but before you can say anything, Jimin is pushing some papers across towards you. Your stare blankly at them before turning back to him, face scrunched in confusion. And then he says the words you've been dreading.

"Let's get a divorce."

The minute the words leave his mouth, you're heart is completely shattered, throat automatically closing up. You want to fight, you want to yell at him and ask him why. But you’re exhausted. And you know why. So instead, you reach out for the papers and passively stare at them. Jimin's brows furrow slightly and he shifts again, looking at you awkwardly. He waits for you to say something, waits for you to question why. But the words never come. Finally, when he's tired of squirming, he asks.

"Are you not going to ask why? I was expecting a fight. Or maybe some emotion" Jimin says but you're unresponsive, simply staring at the divorce papers.

"I know why" You finally managed to croak out.m Jimin stiffens in his seat, sucking in a sharp breath.

"What?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper and laced with alarm.

"I know you're cheating on me with Cheon Yoojin... I know you've slept with her" You say, swallowing thickly as the words finally leave your mouth.

"How?"

"I... I came by your office one night to have dinner with you. I saw you kiss her... and then that night... when you pulled away from me. I saw the hickey she left and you smelled like sex..." You whisper, barely audible. But he hears it, as clear as day. Jimin shifts again, swallowing thickly.

"I'm-" He begins and you shake your head, hair flying with it.

"Don't apologise. Don't say you're sorry. If you were, you would have ended it at the kiss" You say, finally looking up from the papers and towards him. Jimin sucks in a breath; your eyes are completely empty, exhausted of any emotion. You stare at him blankly, eyes flitting over his face as you count the faint lines on his forehead, commit the shape of his lips to your memory, the way his eyelashes kiss his cheeks every time he blinks. Was this the last time you’d be this close to him?

"I felt you slip away. I felt you pull away every day while I tried to hold on as much as I could... I felt you slowly fall out of love with me" You whisper unable to look away from him, eyes welling up once again.

"I... I don't know what to say" Jimin replies, completely at a loss for words.

"Tell me there's a way we can fix this... you loved me once. We could work this out. Please," you practically beg, your voice pleading.

"I don't know" Jimin says, uncertainty present in his voice.

"Please! Let's go to couple's therapy or marriage counselling" You suggest and Jimin shakes his head.

"I don't think it will work" he refutes and you bite your lip.

"Please! If it doesn't work, I'll sign the papers without a fight. I won't argue with you. Just let's try... you owe me this. Please,” you plead and Jimin finally sighs.

“For how long? How long are we going to try and make this work? What if it still doesn’t help?” Jimin asks and you bite your quivering lip.

“Three months. Just three months. And if it doesn’t work, I promise I’ll sign and leave you alone” You propose. Jimin closes his eyes before nodding.

"Okay. Because I owe you that much" Jimin relents and you nod, hope flaring in your chest for the first time in months.

The first therapy session, you both find yourselves seated in a councillor's office. Jimin sits on one side of the sofa, you on the other. The distance between the two of you is short and yet it feels as if he's oceans away. You fidget in the seat, your therapist, Mr. Kim, looking at both of you carefully. He's sat cross legged, a pen and a pad of paper resting on his knees.

"Welcome. I'm Kim Namjoon, I will be your therapist for the next three months" Namjoon introduces and you nod, smiling nervously at him. Jimin looks at him apathetically.

"What brings you here?" Namjoon asks. You look at Jimin, waiting for him to say something, but when he doesn't you let out a small sigh before turning back to Namjoon.

"We've run into some problems... Jimin wants to get a divorce but I was hoping we could work it out" You say, and Namjoon nods, turning to Jimin.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you want a divorce?" He questioned the other man.

"Things have changed between us" Jimin says simply and you wince from his slightly callous tone. How could he be so blasé? Was his mind really already made up? It hurt. It hurt seeing how okay he was to simply end your relationship when you were so far from being anywhere close to alright.

Namjoon asks you both more questions, trying to get the both of you to open up and speak more about your relationship. You answer as honestly and earnestly as you can, trying to get to the root of your problem. However, Jimin barely partakes in the discussion, content to simply let you speak. Namjoon looks at him briefly, his face passive before taking down some more notes. It was clear to him that you wanted to hold on to this relationship more than Jimin.

“Is there someone else?” Namjoon asks, watching the way Jimin stiffens before looking away slightly. He watches the way your shoulders slump, your legs shifting uneasily. There’s no response from either of you but he doesn’t need one.

“I see. How did you meet?” Namjoon asks, turning to Jimin. Jimin glares at him, jaw clenching. He briefly glances over to you, eyes heavy with emotion. It’s incredibly brief. You don’t notice it, far too absorbed in staring at the carpet while you try to drown out the conversation. But Namjoon sees it.

“Through work” comes his clipped reply, eyes once again trained on Namjoon.

“And why did you want or choose to spend more time with her than your wife?” Namjoon follows up.

“We just spent more time together because of work” Jimin responds through grit teeth. Namjoon makes a noncommittal noise, writing something else down in his notepad.

“And when was the last time you spent time with your wife?” Namjoon asks, leveling his stare at Jimin. Jimin freezes, unsure of how to respond. He couldn’t even remember. His lips downturn slightly, looking away as he tries to remember.

“April 18th” comes your soft voice. Jimin’s head snaps towards you, looking at you in horror, almost agog. Had it really been that long? That was more than half a year ago. Jimin could remember that date clearly. In fact, that was the date he and Yoojin had seriously begun meeting about the merger of their companies. Namjoon’s notes the distress on Jimin’s face before crossing his legs and levelling his gaze at both of you.

“Well, let’s start with spending time together then. Perhaps, if you both set aside some time once a week to just spend some time together again for let’s say… an hour?” Namjoon suggests. You look unsure, shrugging lightly before turning to Jimin in hope. Jimin for the most of it was still frowning. Had it really been that long? And why did you remember the date clearly? Namjoon clears his throat, drawing Jimin’s attention once again. Jimin clears his throat, focusing back on the conversation.

“What?”

“I suggested spending time with your wife once a week” Namjoon replies, looking at him pointedly. Jimin sighs before nodding, mind still jumbled over how long it had been since he’d spent time with you. Surely, it hadn’t been that long. There was no way. He racked his mind, trying to think of a time recently he’d been with you. With remorseful surprise, he realises he can’t think of any recent time. He swallows thickly before nodding.

“Yeah. Sure” comes his reply, eyes flicking momentarily towards you again.

“Alright. Let’s meet in two weeks then” Namjoon says with finality, ending the session.

A week later, you find yourself sitting in an ice cream shop, waiting for Jimin to join you. You shift nervously, wondering whether you should buy something or not. Glancing at your watch you sigh, you were ten minutes early. You shuffle around, trying to find a comfortable position but no matter how much you try, you can’t seem to find one. Letting out a little sigh, you take a deep breath trying to calm your nerves. You really shouldn’t be this nervous to meet with your own husband. And yet, for some reason, it feels like you’ve been thrown back years into the past, waiting for your boyfriend on your first date.

Ten minutes pass agonisingly slow. Every time the doorbell jingles, you look up expectantly, hoping to see your husband. Each time however, you’re left crestfallen. Another five minutes pass and you sigh in disappointment. Your husband, as usual, was late. Another ten minutes pass and you begin to grow anxious. Twenty minutes later and it’s been more than half an hour that you’ve been waiting for your husband. You begin to wonder if he was even going to show up at this point. Perhaps he had forgotten, or was more occupied with Yoojin. Perhaps he thought there was no point even turning up.

You wait another fifteen minutes and finally, when you tire of waiting, you start gathering your things. More than ready to up and leave as frustrated tears well up in your eyes. Just as you get up however, the door opens and Jimin walks in. He quickly walks over to you, sitting down at your booth.

“Sorry I’m late” He says but there’s no real apology in his tone. You know your husband well. After all, you’ve spent a decade together. You know him well enough to know that he’s not really sorry. You want to ask him where he was, to let him know you only have less than ten minutes of this ‘date’ left over. But you can’t bring yourself to say the words.

Instead, the two of you sit in silence just staring at each other. The atmosphere is awkward. You open and close your mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say but nothing comes to mind. Jimin simply looks around, looking at anything but you.

“How was work?” You finally ask, gathering the courage to say something.

“Fine” comes his clipped answer. You slump slightly at his closed response.

“How’s the merger coming along?” You gulp, not really wanting to ask considering exactly who he was merging with.

“Good” Jimin replies curtly. His phone suddenly buzzes, drawing his attention. You watch as he answers his phone, a small smile on his face. Your chest aches, knowing exactly who is on the other end making him smile. You try to draw his attention back to you, but Jimin stays engrossed on his phone. The ice cream parlour is filled with people, all happily chatting as they eat their ice creams, some couples even sharing a sundae. And yet despite the amount of people around you, you’ve never felt more alone.

“It’s three o’clock. I believe we’re done here?” Jimin says, putting his phone down. Your eyes widen and you stutter, unsure of what to say.

“But you just got here” You point out, voice shaky.

“Yeah… but I have to get back to the office” Jimin excuses before he gets up.

“Jimin-” You call out and he turns to you.

“Do… do you even love me anymore?” You whisper, dread heavy in your bones as the question slips from your lips. Jimin’s eyes soften and you see the hesitation on his face as he contemplates whether he should answer you or simply walk away. Finally coming to a decision, Jimin stares directly in your eyes and you can almost feel the next words.

“I don’t know” he replies, the uncertainty reflected in his eyes before he walks away.

You watch him walk away from you, eyes trained on his back. As soon as he leaves the shop, he picks up his phone, a large smile on his face. You turn away, staring at the table. Was this all a waste of your time? Were you trying to fix your marriage in vain? Were you just drawing out your own pain until the inevitable happens and Jimin pulls the trigger on your relationship? Were you destined to watch your husband walk away from you and fall in love with someone else? You bite your lip and breathe in deeply, willing the tears away, ignoring the pitying looks of everyone around you.

Your next therapy session falls a week after the disaster that was your meeting. Jimin is once again late, barely greeting the two of you. Namjoon’s eyes follow Jimin’s figure before flicking between the both of you. He jots something down in his notepad before smiling. You return your own uneasy smile, although it comes out more like a grimace.

“So let’s start with speaking about your date. How was it?” Namjoon asks, smiling encouragingly at both of you. You let out another grimace, looking away from him, unable to meet his eyes or even bring yourself to speak about the disastrous meeting. Jimin shrugs his own response, not saying anything. Neither of you say anything, but just from the thick tension in the atmosphere, Namjoon can already surmise what most likely happened.

“Okay then. Do you want to speak about where both of you think your marriage started going wrong?” Namjoon asks and you nod shakily. You really aren’t sure where it started going wrong. You had always been in love with Jimin and you still were. Even now, when seven o’clock struck, you’d find yourself looking towards the door, hoping he’d surprise you by walking in. And each time you’re left disappointed and distraught. Jimin hadn’t come home since he’d asked for a divorce; leaving you far more alone than you’d ever been in your huge luxury apartment.

“Can we cut this meeting short? There’s an emergency at the office” Jimin suddenly says and you whip your head towards him.

“And only you’re the one who can sort out this emergency?” Namjoon asks, quirking an eyebrow at him. You both know it’s an excuse. You both know your husband wants to be anywhere but here at the moment. His entire demeanour is closed off, arms and legs crossed as he stares out the window.

“I’m the CEO” comes Jimin’s reply and Namjoon nods.

“An important role yes. But isn’t your marriage equally important? Surely there are other people who can take care of the emergency” Namjoon presses, Jimin rolling his eyes.

“No there aren’t” he grits out, his eyes almost challenging Namjoon to continue pressing him. His entire response has you reeling. You don’t miss the way he glosses over Namjoon’s question about the importance of your marriage. But your worst fears are confirmed through both his words and actions. He really didn’t think your marriage was worth saving.

“Okay. ____-ssi, are you fine with cutting this meeting short?” Namjoon asks and you nod, now wanting to be as far away from Jimin as you possibly could be. You quickly gather your stuff before bowing and walking out of the office. Jimin moves to follow you, but Namjoon calls out his name, stopping him.

“Jimin-ssi, a moment please” Namjoon says. Jimin sighs before turning to him, looking at him in question.

“What?” Jimin grunts.

“It seems that your wife is trying much harder to save this relationship than you are” Namjoon points out and Jimin scoffs.

“She wants to save this marriage more than I do” Jimin answers, as if the answer was obvious, Namjoon humming.

“Perhaps. But I believe there’s a part of you that also wants to try and save this marriage. A part much larger than you even know” Namjoon says sagely, Jimin snorting.

“And why do you think that?” He asks, tone mocking and arms crossed as he begins tapping his legs impatiently, looking down at Namjoon.

“Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here” Namjoon says, staring back through his thick frames.

“That’s not why I’m here” Jimin splutters, Namjoon raising an eyebrow.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I owe her that much for cheating on her and for asking for a divorce” Jimin replies, voice slightly quiet as he looks away, guilt emblazoned in his eyes.

“No” Namjoon says, Jimin’s head whipping to look at him in confusion, “you owe her nothing. You cheated on her and you want a divorce. If you really wanted that, you would have just walked away. Every time you speak of your affair there’s guilt in your eyes, which if I may point out, wouldn’t be there if you really wanted to leave. You act like you don’t want to be here and that these sessions are a chore and yet you still turn up every week despite being a busy CEO. I’ve counseled a lot of marriages and I’ve only seen these things happen when the person wanting to leave really wants to stay or is unsure about walking away. That guilt in your eyes, is something I only see in partners who still love their significant others. Tell me something, when was the last time you actually paid attention to your wife?” Namjoon asks and Jimin balks, unsure of what to say at Namjoon’s sudden tangent. More important, he doesn’t know the answer to Namjoon’s question.

“If you have nothing to say that’s fine. Just think about it. I believe our next session is in another two weeks. I want you to think about this relationship carefully. If you want to stay, then stay and work to try and fix your marriage. But if not, then just walk away. Don’t prolong this. Break it off and let your wife grieve and move on cause right now, you’re causing her more pain by giving her false hope. I hope you make a decision by our next session” Namjoon says, his tone final. Jimin quickly leaves the room, his mind in a jumble for the first time in a while.

Was Namjoon right? Was he subconsciously holding onto your relationship?

The next time you meet Jimin, it’s once again at the ice cream parlour. You hesitate for a bit, staring up at the neon sign as you wonder if there’s any real point to going in. Jimin was most likely going to be late anyway and when he finally did turn up, he probably wouldn’t even pay attention to you. Perhaps it was best if you walked away from the ice cream shop and consequently away from your marriage. It would save you a lot of heartache. And yet, no matter how much you want to walk away, you simply can’t bring yourself to do so.

Therefore, you find yourself opening the door. You trudge through the shop, deciding that this time, you’d at least order some ice cream. That way, you wouldn’t look like some sad sop just sitting waiting for a man who no longer wanted to be with her. You walk up to the counter, the staff recognising you with a small pitying smile. You ignore their looks and order the biggest sundae you could find before taking a seat in the same booth you had a fortnight ago.

The clock strikes two o’clock and you sigh, your husband still nowhere in sight. You dig into your melting ice cream, letting the cookie and cream flavour slowly comfort you. Ten minutes later, however, to your greatest surprise, your husband rushes in. Jimin briskly walks over and you greet him with a small nod before turning your eyes back to your ice cream.

“I’m sorry! I tried to leave but my meeting ran later than I thought it would” Jimin quickly excuses and you shrug, squashing the little bit of hope that flares at his apologetic tone. There’s no point in hoping or longing for Jimin to stay anymore, he had already made his decision in wanting to leave you.

For the first time in over half a year, Jimin watches you; pays attention to you. Your eyes are downcast, idly scooping ice cream into your mouth. You refuse to look at him, your eyes staying trained on your sundae. He takes the time to take in your figure, guilt practically drowning him at how small and hopeless you look. Your hair still shines the way it used to, skin still glowing. Your makeup is flawless and you still dress yourself the same, carrying yourself like the high end fashion designer you were; and yet your entire demeanour screams exhaustion, your eyes practically empty. The sudden realization that he did that to you makes his stomach churn, throat closing up. When did he become the type of person to hurt someone he cared about so deeply?

He sits up straighter, his phone buzzing and Yoojin’s name popping up on screen. But instead of paying attention, he turns his phone on silent and flips it over as an extra measure. He had said he’d at least try and no matter what feelings he had for Yoojin, he knew he had to stick to his words. He owed you that much at least for hurting you so deeply. Jimin swallows thickly, eyes scanning over your face and willing you to look at him. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t even know where to start. He frowns slightly at that. You’d been together for almost ten years, so why was it suddenly so hard to speak to you?

All of a sudden, the distance between you two hits JImin like a freight train. He can feel the huge rift between the two of you. He frowns slightly, wondering when it had gotten so big. Did you always feel this far away from him? Why did it feel like you were worlds away, almost unattainable? The two of you had always been close, always been able to speak about everything and anything. There were times when you’d both wake up in the early hours of the morning, still in bed and voice heavy with sleep and speak about the smallest, silliest of things like how blue the ceiling was or the amount of steps it would take to walk to the moon. But now here you were, sitting completely in silence, the atmosphere so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. He waits for you to say something, for you to ask him how his day was or how work was. But you don’t.

Frustration wells up inside of him, wondering if you had given up on trying to work on your relationship. He freezes abruptly. Why did he care so much? Surely, that was good for him. It meant that you could both walk away. So, why did those thoughts fill him with dismay instead of joy? Why was his throat closing up, his heart heavy with emotion at the thought of you giving up on him? He gulps slightly, Namjoon’s words ringing in his mind. Was he right? Did he really want to try and save this marriage?

“How was your day?” Jimin asks, the words spilling out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think of them. He watches the way you sit up suddenly, eyes flicking to his figure in confusion. Guilt bubbles in his veins at the sudden surprise in your eyes. Was it really so shocking for him to ask you about your day? Was it so surprising for him to take an interest in your day? You were married after all. ‘Not for long’ his mind taunts. Jimin shakes his inner thoughts off. He tries to ignore the momentary distress at the thought of his ending marriage, but he can’t.

“It was… fine” comes your stilted answer and Jimin visibly winces at how awkward your words are. Silence washes over the both of you once again and Jimin shifts uneasily, the tension almost suffocating.

“How… how about work? You mentioned there were some talks about Lotte sponsoring you and allowing you to open a store in their department” Jimin questions and you nod, looking away slightly.

“That was months ago… I’ve had my own store for about half a year now” you reply, your voice quiet. Jimin feels dismayed, unsure of how to respond. He gapes at you, opening and closing his mouth as words escape you. That was a huge deal for you. In fact, for as long as he could remember, it had been your biggest dream. You’d always said that getting to opening a store in Lotte would be your greatest accomplishment. Was he so detached from your life that you hadn’t even mentioned such a milestone in your career? An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. You just seemed to be getting further and further away from him. But that was a good thing. Right? So why wasn’t he happy?

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” He finally manages to stutter out and you look at him in surprise, lips forming a thin line but he can see the hurt in your eyes, as clear as day.

“I did. Or at least, I tried to… you were busy with your… merger” you reply, voice whispering the last word. Jimin’s throat closes from emotion and he can feel his bottom lip trembling. Had he really been so absorbed in Yoojin and his affair that he’d missed your biggest dream come true? He didn’t know what to do with the information. He gulps, ready to ask you more about the deal and whether it was running smoothly but suddenly you’re getting up. He looks at you in alarm, watching as you gather your stuff.

“Where are you going?” Jimin blurts out in a panic, a small part of him wanting you to stay.

“It’s three o’clock. I didn’t want to keep you longer than you wanted to be here” You replied, voice small. Jimin flips his phone over, eyes almost bugging as he realised it had been almost an hour. He’d forgotten how quickly time would fly when you were together.

“Well then. I’ll see you at the next session. Goodbye” You say, a small bow accompanying your farewell. Jimin’s brows furrow as he watches you walk away. Why were you suddenly so formal? You had spent close to a decade together; you knew each other like the back of each other’s hands. Jimin freezes slightly, one question running through his mind.

When had you stopped kissing each other goodbye?

Over the next month and a half Jimin takes more interest in you and your relationship than he had in months. Between the little dates and long therapy sessions, Jimin now actively participating, the awkward tension slowly fades away and you wonder if perhaps it’s getting better and that there may be a chance that you both manage to salvage your relationship. A part of you still holds back for fear of the disappointment if Jimin still leaves at the end of all your therapy sessions. But for now, things were getting - hopefully - slightly better.

You check over the address, a slight frown on your face as you ensure you’re waiting at the right place. Your husband had suggested a change of scenery from the ice cream parlour, especially as you both were becoming ‘the odd couple’ at the shop. This week, you find yourself outside a horticultural and botanical garden centre.

“____! Here” Jimin calls out. You turn to him in shock, pleasantly surprised by his presence.

“You’re… early” You say, almost dumbly. Jimin blushes slightly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah sorry, I was late a lot wasn’t I?” Jimin asks and you bite your lip, nodding before looking away as you were reminded of the other woman in Jimin’s life. Was he still seeing her? You had no idea. It had been weeks since you’d even heard any mention of her. You didn’t even want to ask for the fear of the answer. But a small part of you hoped that he was done with her.

“Why are we here?” You ask, trying to move the conversation along. Jimin grins before grabbing your hand, pulling you into the centre.

“You once told me you loved flowers because they give you inspiration for your designs. So here we are! The largest botanical garden in Seoul” He says cheerily, paying the lady at the reception the money before guiding you into the gardens.

You let him drag you through the garden, your eyes more trained on your joint hands. He’s more loose lipped now, speaking freely about anything and everything under the sun. You don’t really know what caused the change in him, but suddenly he feels like he’s the Park Jimin you fell in love with. Vaguely, you hear him reading the little description of the flowers you were looking at, but you’re still too focused on your joint hands. His hands fit perfectly within yours, his palm pressed against yours, your fingers interlocked together.

“Hey ____? You listening?” Jimin calls out and you break out of your reverie, looking at him slightly dazed.

“Are you okay?” Jimin follows up, looking at you worriedly.

“I’m fine! Sorry, I spaced out for a bit. What were you saying?” You say and Jimin shakes his head, smiling fondly before turning back to the flowers.

“I said those look really pretty don’t they?” He repeats, pointing towards some small succulents growing near the ground. You crouch down towards them, reaching out and feeling the squishy leaves under your fingertips. You take in the different colours and sizes, from vibrant greens to muted purples. Jimin crouches down next to you, leaning in closely before whispering.

“Do you think they’d notice if we just took some home?”

His tone is conspiratorial and hushed, as if he were planning the most covert operation. You turn to him, taking in his completely serious face before bursting into a fit of giggles at the ridiculousness of it all. You laugh to yourself, hand pressed against your mouth as you try to stifle your laughter, people watching the two of you. Jimin doesn’t care at their sudden audience. Instead, he’s focus on your face.

Your cheeks were lightly flushed, head slightly bent over into your knees and cheeks bulging under your eyes. But most importantly, your eyes were sparkling with emotion. They weren’t empty or defeated like he’d become accustomed to seeing them. Jimin’s breath hitches. Was this the first time he’d heard you laugh in over half a year? He’d forgotten how it sounded. His face softened slightly as he watched you pull yourself together. He’d forgotten how much he loved hearing you laugh. You couldn’t have always been this beautiful laughing, could you? Jimin muses to himself.

“I think we should go. We’re getting strange looks” You whisper, before taking Jimin’s hand in yours and dragging him away. The action comes simply to you, both of you slipping into the easiness you once had in your relationship.

Walking hand in hand, you both navigate through the gardens, stopping every now and then when either of you spot a flower or plant you both like. You’re almost at the end of the garden when Jimin suddenly stops, his nose scrunched up in distaste. You look at him in question, but Jimin points towards a field behind you. You turn, your heart thrumming in your chest as you suck in a breath.

You’re surrounded by a field of lilies. Blooms of every colour you could imagine growing along the grassland. Your heart soars and you let go of Jimin’s hand, running through the field, giddiness coursing through your veins. Jimin is startled by the sudden loss of your hand in his. For how long had you been holding hands? Jimin hadn’t even noticed. The action came so easy to him, almost as if it were in his nature to hold her. He flexes his hand, the sudden coldness of it making his stomach drop in disappointment.

How long had it been since he held your hand? He missed it. More than he thought it was possible. Had your hand always fit so perfectly within his? It had. It was something he had noticed during the early days of your relationship. He’d always known. He’d just forgotten. The more time he spends with you on these little ‘dates’ the more he remembers the little things. Things like how you hadn’t changed your perfume in years just because he loved the scent. Or how your eyes would crinkle in the corners every time you smiled at him. Or the warmth of your hand encasing his. He was slowly but easily remembering the things he had forgotten over the course of your marriage.

He turns from his hand to look at the way you run through the field of lilies, laughing with excitement. His throat closes up. The sun is low in the sky, hidden behind some of the large greenhouses; yet sunlight still streaming through the glass. You’re highlighted by the sunshine, your silhouette encased in a halo made of sun rays. You look more vibrant than you had in months, your hair flying in the wind behind you as you raced through the flowers. Jimin loses himself in you. His heart quickens as he watches you, his hands becoming clammy. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again.

As if on auto pilot, Jimin walks over to you; almost like he was magnetised by your presence. Before he knows it, he’s right beside you. You pant heavily, somewhat out of breath, giggling from the rush of running through the field, adrenaline pumping in your veins. He takes in your flushed appearance, face crumpling at the first signs of honest happiness on your face in a while. He scrunches his nose, slightly put off by the incredibly strong musky scent of lilies surrounding you both.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” You gush, spinning around to look at the lilies. Jimin nods, agreeing with you. But it’s not the lilies he’s looking at.

“I think this is the end of the gardens. Are you ready to go back? I’m sorry this took more than an hour” You say, shifting slightly as you realised exactly why you were here. The sudden wave of sadness that courses through you is completely juxtaposed by your previous feelings of happiness and joy. Jimin notices the slight dimming of your eyes as you’re both brought back to reality. He hates himself for what he’s done to you.

In a bid to make it better and keep the sparkle in your eyes, he’s bending over. His eyes scan over the lilies in his vicinity before his eyes are caught by a bright yellow one in full bloom. The petals are completely open, the outer petals a soft yellow before darkening to an electric orange in the centre. He plucks it from the ground, making you gasp before looking around, ensuring you’re both alone.

“Jimin! You can’t do that. You could get in trouble for destruction of property” You admonish but Jimin shrugs before presenting it to you. You gasp slightly, shyly taking the flower from his hand.

“They have thousands of them. I’m sure they won’t miss one. Besides, if I want to give my wife some flowers, I will give my wife some flowers” Jimin says. You suck in a breath at his words, your heart fluttering at his use of wife. You blush prettily, ducking your head and sniffing the flower, a soft smile on your lips. Jimin is suddenly struck by the familiarity of the situation. His heart swells at the situation and he simply can’t resist pulling you closer into him. Your eyes widen as you tumble into him, your husband catching you easily.

Before you can say anything, he swoops down, his head ducking and capturing your lips within his. Your eyes shoot open slightly before you find yourself melting into you, your eyes slipping shut. Jimin’s arms tighten around you, pulling you closer into him until there’s not even a hair’s breadth between your chests. Your lips practically meld together, your hands running up his chest and wrapping around his neck. Jimin moans into the kiss, pulling you as close as possible, one of his hands entangling in your hair.

Moments pass slowly, your heart thumping in your chest cavity. Finally, when the need for oxygen burns both your chests, you both pulled away. Jimin’s lips linger next to yours, both of you panting, breath fanning each other’s faces. Your eyes slowly open, meeting Jimin’s. He bumps his forehead against yours lightly, eyes twinkling with something you hadn’t seen for a long time. He peppers kisses against the corner of your mouth, holding you close the entire time. You close your eyes against, breathing in his scent as a large, barely suppressed smile breaks out on your face.

For the first time in almost a year, you finally feel loved by Park Jimin.

It’s the last week of your third month of trying to work things out with your husband.

Jimin sits in his office, flicking through the photos of your shop’s grand opening in Lotte Department Store. He smiles sadly, feeling incredibly maudlin and remorseful that he’d missed such an event. He scrolls through the photo album on Naver, stopping at a close up of you. You look almost as beautiful as the day he married you, dressed sophisticatedly and smiling at the press as cameras blindingly flash around you. You look perfect, completely poised and as if you were in your element. Which, of course, you were. His heart aches with emotion, both pride and shame swelling in his chest. He should have been there with you. He should have celebrated with you. He should have stood beside you, like you had with him when he’d opened his company.

He continues scrolling, eyes welling up at the one thing that takes away from the joyous occasion. In every single one of the photos, you have the most melancholic, somber smile on your face, your eyes reflecting a certain hopelessness. His throat closes up. He had done that to you. Tarnished and tainted a momentous milestone in your career with his selfishness.

He closes the article, unable to take the forlornness present in your entire demeanour. He lets out a little exhale, trying to collect himself. He didn’t have the right to feel guilty. He had done this to himself. Worked harder at his job than he needed to, started staying longer because of the merger. And by doing so, he had almost ruined his marriage. He’d slowly forgotten about you and the love he had for you, pulled away from you the months before he’d started his illicit affair.

There’s a sudden knock on his door, pulling him out of his musings. Jimin turns to the door, watching as Yoojin saunters in as if she owns the place. He frowns slightly as he takes her in. Now looking at her, he realised, she was completely different to his wife. She could easily pass for one of the women who modeled for you. She was incredibly beautiful, stunning even. But he was no longer attracted to her. There was no more allure surrounding her, nothing that made him want to pursue her. All in all, she wasn’t you.

“Where have you been?” Yoojin asks, taking a seat on one of his sofas.

“Right here, working. As you should be. Why are you here?” Jimin asks, quirking an eyebrow. Why had he even begun his affair with her? Just because he’d spent some time away from you? Because he needed the company and she was easy? Because they’d spent so much time in close proximity? None of these seemed like good enough reasons anymore. God, he really was a weak, feeble man, he scoffed to himself.

“Do I need a reason to see my boyfriend?” Yoojin asks and suddenly he feels sick at her words. He thinks back to the day Yoojin had kissed him in his office. He should have pulled away. He knew he should have, but before he even knew what he was doing, he was already pulling her in for another kiss. Something that you had, apparently witnessed. Suddenly, he feels even more nauseous.

“Besides, it’s been almost three months I’ve seen you. Your soon to be ex-wife has been monopolising your time lately. Should I be feeling jealous?” Yoojin continues, tone playful and cocky. The minute ‘ex-wife’ leaves her mouth, Jimin feels despair crash through him. No. He couldn’t lose you. Wouldn’t lose you. Not when he was just finding you again. He wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to end it.

“I’m not your boyfriend” Jimin says, voice slightly cold. Yoojin looks at him in surprise, a perfectly threaded eyebrows arched.

“Since when?” She asks.

“Since now. I can’t be with you” Jimin says curtly and Yoojin scoffs.

“What did your wife say? You’ve been spending so much time with her lately. Has she been putting thoughts in your head?” Yoojin asks suspiciously.

“No. She just reminded me how much I love her not you. She’s my wife and I don’t want to lose her” Jimin states and Yoojin glares at him.

“If I had known that bitch’s plan for you to try and save your marriage would have worked I never would have humoured it” Yoojin scoffs as she stands up. However, before she can even blink, Jimin is right in front of her, eyes boring holes into her. Yoojin lets out a small gasp, stumbling back at the rage in his eyes.

“That’s my wife you’re speaking about and you will respect her” Jimin seethes, unhappy with the way Yoojin had so casually insulted you.

“Yes, the wife you cheated on” Yoojin spits back, not one to back down. Her eyes were cold and calculating as she stared at him and Jimin reels. It was so completely different from the warmth yours radiated.

“Yeah. A mistake if I ever made one. One that somehow she is willing to overlook so she can save our marriage. She is a far better person than you and I could ever hope to be. But I love her and I want to save my marriage. So, this is it for us Cheon Yoojin-ssi” Jimin says, retreating back, his face turning passive and tone back to being polite. Yoojin looks affronted, grabbing her bag from the seat.

“Well then. Consider this the end of the merger too” Yoojin says haughtily, before stalking out of Jimin’s office. Jimin lets out a little sigh of relief, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulder. He didn’t care too much about the merger, especially considering all the pain and suffering it had wrought on his marriage. It was more trouble than it was worth.

He quickly glances over at the clock hanging on one of his office walls. His eyes widen. It was almost six. He quickly gathered his stuff, dismissing his secretary before rushing out of the office and into the elevator. His foot tapped impatiently, waiting for the elevator to take him to the basement of the building, where his car was parked. He had to get home to you, the urgent need to save his marriage overwhelming him. For the first time in months, his head was clear. He loved you and he couldn’t lose you.

Practically running through parking lot, he quickly located his car. Checking his watch, he let out a breath of relief. Six on the dot. Which means, he had more than enough time to get to you. Jimin drives through the busy roads of Seoul, humming to the radio and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he navigates towards your shared home. He smiles softly, remembering the more frequent and prolonged visits with you. Passing by one familiar street, he finds himself double taking before slowing down as he drives past a familiar flower shop.

Before he can help himself, he finds himself turning down a road and parking the car in the spot he usually would. He swiftly gets out, briskly walking towards the familiar flower shop. He glances at his watch, almost running when he realises it’s almost closing time. He pushes the glass door with more force than he intended to, almost slamming it open. He’s suddenly hit with an onslaught of sweet, earth scents, the bell jingling violently to signal his arrival. The old lady that runs the shop, turns around in surprise, ready to send him away.

“We’re closing- oh! It’s you Park-ssi” The woman says with pleasant recognition.

“Hello halmeoni. Are you done for the day?” Jimin asks and the lady quickly shakes her head, walking up to him as quick as her old feet can take her before dragging him inside.

“For you? Never! It’s been so long since you’ve been here, I was starting to get worried” The old florist says and Jimin shifts on his feet, unable to look her in the eyes. It finally dawns on him why he stopped buying his wife flowers. He had stopped taking his usual route home.

Before, he used to drive the same way every day, passing by this flower shop only to be reminded of his wife. However, when he started meeting with Yoojin, he started taking a different route home. Guilt floods through him as he realises that he was, without a shadow of a doubt, completely responsible for your relationship falling apart.

“Is everything alright at home?” The woman asks kindly and Jimin is unsure how to respond. Was everything okay? Sure, things were definitely better, both you and him in a much better place in your relationship. But had you forgiven him for his affair? Would you be able to get over it? The three month period of you trying to save your relationship was slowly coming to an end. But Jimin didn’t want it to end.

Throughout the three months, you had somehow succeeded in saving your marriage. He had never wanted to be with you more than he did right now. He couldn’t believe he had almost lost you. But he now knew, that without a single doubt, he was completely in love with you. You were his entire world and he definitely wasn’t ready to throw away a ten year relationship.

“Everything… is fine. Sorry, I was just busy” Jimin finally replies lamely, not wanting to admit to the woman that he had almost destroyed his marriage with an affair. The lady smiles before slowly walking to a tub of flowers.

“That’s a shame. It was really sweet how you would drop by every Friday to buy flowers for your wife. Ah, such a sweet young love. It makes me miss my husband. Do you want the usual?” She asks, already assembling a large bouquet of roses and lilies. Jimin nods, feeling even more remorse at her words. It had been a sweet love. But he had almost lost it with his foolish decisions. He stands patiently, albeit slightly nervously as the woman puts the flowers together. Was this the right thing to do? It had been so long since he’d bought flowers home for you. Would you still be as reciprocating of them now, after everything he had done?

“There we go! Beautiful aren’t they? But I assume the woman receiving them is even more beautiful” The lady teases and Jimin blushes, nodding with a smile.

“The most beautiful of them all” Jimin says quietly and the lady grins at him, pushing the bouquet towards him.

“Well then, don’t let go of her! It’s so hard to find love these days. Couples are always breaking up and changing partners. And they’ve even stopped buying flowers” The lady tuts, Jimin feeling even guiltier. He had almost been one of those people.

“I will. I don’t think I ever want to let her go” Jimin says, determination lacing his voice. He grabs the bouquet, paying for the flowers and tipping handsomely before leaving the flower shop.

He rushes towards his car, not wanting to make you wait any longer. He glanced at his clock, grinning to himself as he realised he’d be home in time for seven o’clock. Starting the engine, he practically speeds home, his thoughts preoccupied with you. Pulling into the parking garage of your apartment complex, Jimin grabs the bouquet, antsy to get up towards you.

Long moments later, he’s finally at your door. Nerves build up in his stomach and he has to wipe his hands on the trousers or his suit from how clammy they were. Were you waiting for him? Or had you already had dinner? He wouldn’t blame you if you’d stopped waiting for him. It had been a long while since he’d made it back home at this time. He pulls his keys out of his pocket, hesitating for a short while, too tense to open the door. Was this okay? Was it okay for him to come home like this as if he hadn’t tried walking out three months ago?

Jimin takes in a deep breath before exhaling, trying to rid all his nerves. He had to do this. He couldn’t let himself walk away from you. Pushing the keys into the keyhole, Jimin enters the house. You walk through, surprise written on your face.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, heart quickening. Your eyes scan over his figure; he's still dressed in the suit from work, hair pushed back and exposing his forehead. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the hand behind his back. You suck in a breath, not wanting to get your hopes up. Was he doing what you think he was doing? Jimin shuffles from one foot to the other before slowly walking up to you, brandishing a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies.

"Oh" You gasp out, swallowing thickly. You reach out with shaky hands, incredibly slowly, as if any sudden movements would spook him and cause him to disappear from your life again. You take them from him, bringing the bouquet up to your nose and inhaling deeply. The sweet, subtle scent of roses is almost drowned out by the strong, musky scent of lilies. You bite your lip before turning your gaze to him.

"You hate lilies" You say and Jimin's face crumples at the awful familiarity of everything. It had been so long since the two of you had done this.

"But I love you" Jimin croaks out, voice hoarse and heavy with emotion. You hiccup slightly, tears welling in your eyes. Jimin quickly walks up to you, taking you in his arms, one hand cupping your cheek. You sob, melting into his hand. Jimin traced his thumb along your cheek, wiping away the lone tear that managed to escape from your eye before brushing his thumb along your lips.

He leans down and captures your lips in his. You lean up, pressing harder into him. Jimin pulls away and you chase after his lips, not wanting to break away from him. He presses a short, tender kiss to your lip before completely pulling away, holding you at arm's length. He takes your hand in his and draws you to the dining table. You take a seat. The sight is all too familiar to you. It was awfully similar to the day he asked you for a divorce.

"Jimin?" You ask, unable to mask the worry in your voice. He shakes his head, taking your hand in his.

"Before we continue, I think we need to talk" Jimin says, despite the catch in his throat. This was going to be a hard conversation, but he knew he had to do it, so that you could both get passed this.

"Okay..." You say before quietening down. Jimin gathers every ounce of courage he can muster; taking in a deep breath he looks you straight in the eyes. You're almost floored by the amount of emotions in them. The long years of being with him had made you an expert in reading him. You could almost feel every single emotion that danced along his deep coffee eyes as if it were your own.

"I made a mistake. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have cheated on you. It was wrong of me. I started staying at the office later and later and slowly I forgot you and how much I loved you. That was wrong. It was even more wrong for me to look for those feelings in Yoojin" Jimin begins and you listen carefully, keeping your expression guarded despite the dread that sears through your veins.

"Jimin-" You begin, trying to cut him off but he shakes his head, gripping your hand tighter.

"Please. I know. I know you want to forget and you want to move on. But I can't move on without saying this, without apologising for how awful I've been to you these past months. You didn't deserve that" Jimin says, his words sincere. You nod and gripped his hand tighter, knowing that you'd both need the comfort each other offered. Jimin's face falls, wondering how you could offer him such comfort after all the hurt he caused you. He really didn't deserve you. Which only made this harder.

“I’m sorry for cheating on you. I’m sorry for hurting you like that when I promised that I would never hurt you like that. I broke our wedding vows and you should have left me the minute I asked you for a divorce. But you’re a far better person than I could ever be. I never imagined that you would ask me to stay and work things out. But I’m so glad you did” Jimin says, voice shuddering with emotion. Tears well up in both your eyes and you squeeze his hand, letting him know it was okay to keep going.

“These three months, despite how bad I was at the start, showed me how much I love you and how much it was my fault that we drifted. I can’t thank you enough for not giving up on me and for bringing me back. I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry for hurting you and I know my words may mean next to nothing to you now, but just know that I will use the rest of our lives together to show you just how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Can… can you forgive me? Can you take me back? I want to come home to you” Jimin finally croaks out, tears falling down his cheeks.

“Can I ask for one thing?” You ask and Jimin is immediately nodding.

“Anything”

“Can we continue therapy? I think we need more sessions to work this out” You say and Jimin quickly nods, assenting instantaneously.

“If that’s what you want then yes. Just… please don’t leave me” Jimin begs. The shift of your roles are almost jarring.

You can’t deny how much he had hurt you in the past but if there was one thing you feared, it was losing your husband. You knew it would take much longer to get through this whole ordeal, but for now, you were just far too happy to have your husband back. You nod, instantly getting up from your seat and hugging him. Jimin’s shoulders slump as he feels your embrace around him. He pulls you into his lap, holding you close to his body.

Leaning down, you pull his lips into yours, pouring all the love you have for each other into the kiss. Jimin stands up, keeping your lips locked and guiding you towards your bedroom. He lays you down gently, taking in the way the moonlight floods through the window and illuminates your body, your hair fanned out on the pillow. He face softens as he once again leans down kissing along your jaw as he unbuttons your shirt-dress, before slipping it off your shoulder. His breath hitches, eyes trailing over your body, committing each nook and every contour of your body to memory.

“Fuck… I’d forgotten how beautiful you were” Jimin says, almost reverently as he continues taking in your body. You flush underneath him, almost wanting to hide. Jimin catches your hand, shaking his head.

“Don’t hide from me” Jimin says, crawling over you. He braces his arms on either side of you, muscles bulging in his shirt as he dips his head to pull you in for another kiss. Your hands roam over his chest, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer to you.

“I want to see you” You whisper against his lips, breaking the kiss. Jimin lets out a little smile before kneeling. You watch, unable to take your eyes off of him as his small fingers work the buttons of his shirt. Your breathing deepens as smooth, tan chest is slowly revealed to you, inch by inch.

“Strip for me Angel” Jimin orders as he begins unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his trousers. You break out of your trance, suddenly in a rush to undress. It had been so agonisingly long since you felt your husband that you couldn’t wait to have him inside of you once again.

When you’re both fully undressed, you both kneel on your bed, taking in each other. Your eyes trail over his body, longing to reach out and touch him. His cock twitches slightly, standing erect and hard, almost pulsing.. Jimin slowly shuffles towards you, laying you down once again. His hands move to your thighs, running along the skin, simply feeling you under him. You moan at his light touch, spreading your legs to accommodate him between your thighs. He peppers light, butterfly kisses along the column of your neck before brushing them against your collarbones. You arch at the touch, hands wrapping around his shoulder and nails pressing into his shoulders.

“Lemme make you feel good” Jimin says as he kisses down your chest. On his way, he lightly kisses each of your nipples before pressing a kiss to your sternum, between your breasts. Continuing his descent, he kisses and licks his way down your stomach. His tongue swirled into your belly button, making you gasp as his lips ghost over your skin.

He slowly spreads your legs, situating himself comfortably between them. His eyes trail over every inch of your nether lips, eyes automatically drawn to the slightly wet lips. He lips his lips before closing his eyes and pressing a soft kiss against your clit. You instantly gasp out, hands lacing into his locks. He peels your lips open before licking a swipe all the way from your dripping core to your clit. You shudder above him, letting him slowly, almost reverently eat you out. He pulled your thigh over his shoulder, giving himself better access. He pulled your clit between his plush lips, suckling on the bud. You moan throatily, rolling your hips into his mouth as your juices started coating his face.

“You’re so sweet. Fuck, I have missed you” Jimin moans against your pussy causing your eyes to roll back from the vibrations.

“Please! Jimin, I need-” You begin to beg, but Jimin knows your body better than anyone else. He moves one of his hands, slowly pressing a finger into you. You groan as you’re filled up, grinding into his ministrations. It had been so long since you’d had someone else giving you an orgam that you could feel your end already nearing, far too sensitive at everything.

Jimin feels the way your pussy pulsates around his finger, adding in a second one and stretching you out. You’d only had your own fingers to keep you company and even then you were usually too heartbroken and distraught to even think about sex or pleasure. That was until now. Jimin’s fingers were thicker than yours and you groan at the feeling, loving the slight twinge of pain from the stretch. Jimin laps at your clit, trying to push you closer to the edge, loving the way you taste on his lips.

His eyes are trained on your face, captivated by your beauty, heart twinging at how he almost lost you. He slowly thrusts his finger in and out, scissoring your weeping pussy as he tries to stretch you out. He almost groans by how tight you’ve become, knowing he’d need to take it slow. He feels your end approaching from the way your cunt gushes and the way your breath quickens. He speeds his fingers up ever so slightly, angling them to brush against the soft spot inside you. You almost scream at the sensation, fingers digging into his head.

You’re panting now, mewling out his name over and over as you roll your hips on top of his. He slowly nibbles your clit between his teeth, forcing you over the edge. Your orgasm ricochets through your, legs convulsing on either side of his head. Jimin takes in the way you bite your lip, your eyes half lidded, pupils rolled back into your skull and the way you flush. He doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful. Your back arches off of the bed as you gush around him, releasing your cum all over his face while you moan his name.

Waves of pleasure continue rippling through you, Jimin’s lips and fingers guiding you through your orgasm. The smell of your orgasm permeates the air, driving Jimin wild. He has to be in you and he has to be in you now. His pupils dilated, darkening with lust and want as he watched you come down from your high. He pulls away from you but not before pressing a kiss against your clit. You whine slightly at the oversensitivity, watching through hazy eyes as he crawls back over you.

“I love you” Jimin mumbles as he kisses you, letting you taste yourself. You practically licked his mouth clean of your cum before he pulls away, pressing his nose into your head, pressing a tender kiss against the temple as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo.

“I love you too” You whisper back, heart soaring at his affirmation of your love. Jimin slowly rubs the head of his cock against your lips, coating it in a mixture of your cum and his precum. You whine, thighs quivering at the sensation. Your arms lazily wrap around his neck as he lines up with your centre.

He pulls you in for a kiss, slowly guiding his cock into you. You break the kiss, back arching of the bed as you gasp against his lips as he slowly stretches you open. Jimin moves incredibly slowly, filling you inch by inch and allowing you to get used to him. Once he’s buried as deep into you as he could go, he stills. Pressing a kiss onto your lips, he takes in a deep breath, focusing on not cumming from how hot and tight you are around him.

“Move” You mewl, rolling your hips against his. Jimin slowly pulls out before pushing back in, in one single stroke. You gasp, throwing your head back, arms automatically moving to his shoulders, pressing your fingertips into the flesh and leaving little crescent shaped marks.

“I love you” Jimin whispers again, punctuating his words with another thrust. You want to say it back, but you’re too lost in the haze of pleasure. Jimin continues slowly grinding and thrusting into you, One of his hands removes the hand from his shoulder, entwining your hands, fingers locked with each other.

“Open your eyes. I want to see you. All of you” Jimin mumbles and your eyes slowly slip open. You briefly wonder when they even shut. Jimin looks down at you from above, eyes focused on you, love and adoration emblazoned in his dark eyes. You gasp out, feeling closer to him than you ever had. He squeezes your hand, pushing into you once again. He keeps the pace slow, drawing soft moans from you with every thrust. His agonising ministrations causes the coil in your belly to tighten once again.

“Are you going to cum again Angel?” Jimin asks and you nod under him.

“Just hold on a little longer sweet, I’m almost there. Fuck… you’re so tight” Jimin groans out, breathing laboured. His chest leans down, your soft breasts pressed against his taught chest. His head moves to the crook of your neck, burying his face as he suckles light hickeys into your neck.

“I’m so close” You groan out, moving your hips against his faster, more urgently.

“Fuck. Okay. Cum for me baby” Jimin says, one hand moving between your legs to rub your clit, the other squeezing your hand in his. The fingers on your clit send you overboard, stomach clenching and unclenching as your orgasm washes over you. You groan against him, squeezing his hand as tight as you could.

“Fuck. I’m cumming. You’re so tight. That’s it my love. I love you. My angel. My wife” Jimin mutters, pressing kisses onto your lips between each of his words. You whimper, velvet walls rippling around him. Jimin buries himself to the hilt, cock pulsing before he groans, releasing his cum deep into you. You mewl as his heat fills you up, coating your walls with his thick cum. Jimin lightly thrusts into you, you walls milking him for all he was worth.

He almost collapses on top of you, just barely catching himself by bracing himself on his elbows. You slowly come down from the euphoria of your orgasm, eyes slowly focusing once again. Jimin’s face slowly comes into view and you smile, biting your lip. You let out a little giggle at his flushed face, swollen lips and panting figure. You lift one of your hands despite the exertion, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. You lean up and kiss his nose, Jimin lazily smiling down at you.

“I love you” You whisper and Jimin nods. He slowly rolls off of you before pulling you towards his body, unbothered by your sweaty, hot figure against his. He kisses your temple, placing his chin above your head and tucking you into his chest.

“I love you too Angel” Jimin mumbles. You snuggle into his chest, letting his breathing and the rhythmic thumping of his heart slowly lull you to sleep.

The next morning, you’re awoken by your husband lightly pressing kisses into the back of your shoulder, his arm tightening around your waist. You lowly whine, still exhausted from the previous night. He giggles against your shoulder, softly pecking it again. You turn in his arms, facing him before sluggishly opening your eyes. The first thing you see is Jimin’s deep brown eyes, sparkling with nothing but love and affection, Your heart speeds up, eyes searching his face intently.

"Is this a dream?" You croakily whisper, almost afraid. Jimin’s heart grips at the fear lacing your voice. He shakes his head, pulling your hand up and kissing the pads of your fingertips before pulling you close.

"No. I'm yours. Now and forever"

a/n: high key this almost ended with reader and jimin getting that divorce but i grew TOO ATTACHED and could not end it like that, rip me... anyway!!!!! hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!

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