#ill probably delete this at some point maybe ill get embarrased about it or something LOL.

[amarillokidding]

Something happened to me yesterday and I wasn't going to talk about it but now that I woke up still upset about it I think I have to.

My mom brought her friends over for a 'party' and I don't like them bc it ends up with her really drunk and she's been having drinking problems for the past 3 years and its something I've been struggling with. Almost every week I have to make sure shes okay and worry about her and its taken its mental toll on me. Well yesterday her friends and my uncle (who I now genuinely actually hate) started calling me a child and mentally ill directly to my face after I told my mom she should go to bed bc it was 4am and she had work tomorrow.

I told them that they were being disrespectful in MY house, and one guy* was very smug "what rent do YOU pay" as if he knew anything about me and my life?? And this one woman I've never seen before started saying to call the police after I mentioned that we could get a noise complaint and they all started saying they would call the police on me and take me away for being mentally ill. She got in my face and called me a child and I did raise my voice at her at this point that this was my house, I work and pay bills and I could kick them out if I wanted to especially after all they've just said to me.

And then I hear my uncle behind me say, I'm paraphrasing bc after this my ears started ringing and I couldn't believe what was happening, "I can't believe your acting like this, especially after what happened with (my dads name)." He purposely brought up my dad to upset me and then he said "he told me a lot of stuff about you and that you're not well" I asked him angrily what he was talking about and he said "No bc if you dont know maybe there's a reason he didnt tell you"

I had to physically stop myself from actually genuinely punching him and fighting with him and it hurt me. I wanted to hurt him so bad and my body was shaking and I started to cry and I got very angry. He said all this in front of people I didn't know who didn't even know my dad and I heard many agree with him. I felt like I was being bullied by my uncle and my moms friends. My mom agreed with him as well and she looked at me with so much hate in her eyes and at this point my brother and sister show up. My brother is also sort of drunk but he manages to lead everyone out and they listen to him bc he's a man and he's older than me. He still yells at me later for kicking out guests even after I explain anything and also my mom has an alcohol problem and I don't want to find her dead one morning from alcohol poisoning or if she slept improperly and choked or something. I wanted her to go to sleep bc I care about her and I dont want to lose her after my dad died so recently. Her friends mocked me for thinking she was going to die as if they didnt understand I have a genuine concern for her especially since my family is still grieving.

I don't even know why they started calling me mentally ill. I think my mom must have told them and my uncle at some point that I'm going through stuff which upsets me now as they have this picture in their head about me that's very superficial. There's so much more that happened, like who some specific ppl were and they very specific way they told me stuff and how it felt like they were finally telling me what they actually felt about me. My brother says that it shouldn't have 'gotten' to me and he treated this one guy* as if he didnt do anything wrong bc he's his girlfriends father. I feel like if he wasnt then my brother would have agreed with me that what he said was out of line especially since he was in my house. I didn't go to sleep until like 7am and now its like 3pm when I'm waking up and im still so angry about it. I didn't expect ppl that I dont know to act that way towards me. My siblings and me did speak about stuff later on and we agreed to talk about it together. Idk I just read over the whole thing and I doesnt even come off as insane and heated as it got. But everything I wrote but x10 as intense.

Obviously DON'T REBLOG this LMAO!!! if anyone wants to tell me something like 'that sucks' or 'sorry that happened to you' I appreciate it but I also probably won't respond back. This affected me so much last night and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Its the next day and I'm just as upset about it right now as I was last night. I really just wanted to talk about it and vent it out of me bc I'm dealing with so much and I can't believe that happened last night.