#its 4:36 am and my brain is barely working

[sillynohugs]

Just some @pukicho fanart

[anunusers]

Hiya love!!

Saw your post and though I would ask! 😁

Can I ask all of them? 1-36 lmao

Last question is: what's your biggest fear?

Love u, byeeeeee🩷

OMG this made me so happy!!!!! I'm a nobody and you want to know about me?!?!? 😭means the world to me!!!❤️I love you !!!!!

I did try to answer all of the questions and I thought I posted it but I am new with posting so please forgive me! Also, I'm an over sharer so I'm sorry in advance for that too!

What is your nickname?

Lately, my colleagues have been calling me Jay. Other times I'm Jen or Jenni.

When is your birthday?

4/3 :)

What was your longest relationship?

I've only been in one serious relationship and those were the hardest 4 years of my lifeeeee! Seriously, barely made out alive. 😮‍💨

What is your favorite book?

I have so mannnnyyy! It's so hard to pick one but I'll share a few that actually caught my attention and still have resonated with me:

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

Tony and Susan by Austin Wright

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

I'm thinking of ending things by Iain Reid

I honestly have so many more, but these are the ones I have read recently and absolutely loved. Also, Fredrik Backman is currently my fav author so I definitely recommend checking him out !

What is something you're insecure about?

My appearance for sure. I don't feel confident in my looks whatsoever haha. I feel like I am fugly most of the time but that just what has been embedded in my brain since I was younger. Also, I've recently have gotten insecure with my voice. Which is so random but I kind of hate my voice LOL.

5 Male celebrity crushes

Jake Gyllenhaal (obvy LOL), Pedro Pescal, Jaime Camil, Tenoch Huerta, Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I honestly have many more and they are all from Novelas. That is all I grew up watching with my mom hehe.

5 Female celebrity crushes

Elizabeth Olsen, Emma D'arcy, Scarlett Johanssan, Ana de Armas, Anne Hathaway and again, I am many many moorreee.

What is your dream job?

I always wanted to do something in music or theatre. A singer or actor. I was a huge choir nerd in high school. I even did piano lessons for a few years. On my last year of high school, I ended up doing theatre and it was so much fun! I did plays and that experience really made me love theatre. Maybe one day in the future... 🙏

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

I haven't accomplished much in life to be honest so I don't know what I would consider an accomplishment. Maybe being able to learn different professions throughout the years. I am a Certified Patient Care Tech and all though I am not even that work field anymore, I still very much enjoyed learning about the healthcare process and what different titles mean when it comes to taking care of patient and getting the help that they need.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

I have no clueeeeeeeee......maybe that I'm from MX ?? LOL My accent is completely gone now from the 12 years that I've lived in the States. Which is so sad cause not only do I suck at speaking English, my Spanish is going down hill too.. I'm slowly turning into a sabo kid!! 😭😭

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Lately, my lows have been just feeling very lost and out of place. I feel like I should be at a certain point in my life but I am so far from reaching it or maybe I won't ever come close but yeah, its a very crappy feeling. My high this month is definitely receiving this ask from you. Made my day 100% better! ❤️

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

I have sooooooo many places I would like to visit!!! In States, I would love to visit New York, Florida for Universal Studios and World Disney. Out of States, I would love to visit Sweden, Italy, Japan, South Korea.

How do you de-stress?

I nap like my life depends on it. I'm stressed, NAP. Upset, NAP. Happy, NAP. Sad, Nap. I could rot happily in my bed if I could get paid for it.

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

I honestly only mainly use Tumblr and Tiktok LOL they control my life right now. I don't think I use any other apps. Maybe Amazon and Barnes & Nobles 😁

Describe yourself in one sentence.

Lover girl in a world where love no longer exists. 🫠

What do you think makes you attractive?

I don't know actually... I would like to say my personality perhaps? I think I'm pretty cool I think I'm quite hilarious actually haha. I had someone once say that my eyes and smile was the most attractive thing about me, but I think the opposite.

What is something you're really good at?

Procrastinating. I procrastinate so good that when the deadline of something is like 5 minutes away, I overwork and stress myself out so bad that my work just comes out beautifully. I work amazing under extreme and stressful situations. Not healthy at all so please don't try!!!!

What is something you're really bad at?

Math. Which is funny because I was doing accountant work for a Retail store as my first job and I was amazing. Maybe it was the power I felt while holding thousands of dollars a night while making minimum wage 🥲LOL

A time that you told a lie.

I never lie, I speak my truth all the time but while I was in my first serious relationship, I lied ALOT about being okay and happy. It was such unhealthy relationship for me and I wanted to keep the peace at all times that I lied a lot to my family. Trust me when I say, even if they are older, does not mean they are mature. Learned that the hard way.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Our brain doesn't know our eyeballs exist and if they did know, they would attack them. You can permanently go blind if our brain was like, "wait a min, where did they come from??" Freaking GNARLY!

Who knows you the best?

My mommy ❤️

What is your most prized possession?

I am in LOVE with V for Vendetta. From the moment I saw it back when my dad would let us rent random movies from Blockbusters, I just love it. I read the comics and love the theatrics of how V is and how beautifully he was portrayed by Hugh Weaving. I ended up buying a screenplay book that contains the directors notes and small changes that were made that didn't make it to the movie and that is my most prized possession. Definitely fueled my love for acting and everything that comes from just being able to shoot a movie.

What is your longest friendship?

9 years but unfortunately, life drifted us apart :(

When did you first feel like an adult?

When I did my taxes for the first time. I was not ready to adult, and I still can't adult correctly but surviving!

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

Yes, volleyball!!!! My family used to play it all time when we lived in MX. I turn into a competitive monster.

How are you feeling right now?

Tired and hungry. I've been surviving on Moster Energy drinks these last few days.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I'm honestly neither. I used to be able to stay up all night but now, I can barely wake up early and can barely stay awake lol I'm old now.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Favorite song lyrics right now?

I've been listening to sad songs lately. Currently have I Can't Make You Love Me by Bon Iver on a constant loop. "I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel when you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right. Give me 'til then to give up this fight." UGH gets me every time! 😭

What does self care look like for you?

Honestly, a nice hot bath in a candle lit bathroom, bright enough to be able to read a book and because I love in AZ, thunderstorm sounds in the background. My definition of self care ❤️

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

This is on hard! I don't know. Ummmmmm can I say 3 of my favorite singers? Amy Lee from Evanescence, RAYE, and Beyonce.

What makes you nervous?

Knowing that we have only explore 5% of the ocean and ocean nearly takes 70% of our planet. Not sure what phobia that is but thinking about that makes me nervous. Also meeting new people. I'm very shy so I get super nervous and anxious.

What’s a pet peeve you have?

When I am with someone and I am sharing something or just telling them something and they are on their phone, not listening at all. Then they have the audacity to say, "Huh?" Like no thank you. The excitement is over and now I'm hurt. 🥲

What will always make you cry?

Thinking about my life. Kidding! I am a huge crybaby so it doesn't take much to make me cry. Show me a sad video, I'll cry a river.

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

I don't know, I smile a lot so maybe they form some kind of opinion based on that. I hope it's all good first impressions though. 😊

Special Question: What's your biggest fear?

I have a lot of fears and some may seem so little. I am afraid of never being able to accomplish or become the person I dreamt of being. I'm afraid that I will never get back on track with how I envisioned I would be right now at 24. It's dumb little things that scare me. Never finding love and having a family of my own or not being able to be fully happy. Sometimes it feels like something is missing and maybe that's why I have been feeling lost lately. Those are biggest fears.

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!! I really enjoyed answering these questions and would totally love to see you answering them too!!!!!! Love you!!!❤️❤️❤️

[sunnychuuya]

Pookie what the flip is this I'll answer them tho lmao at least I'll try it might be slightly venty so srry about thar

yea most of the time I geuss. They suck a little sometimes but they try their best and I love them

2. My gc with my besties to say gn

3. So. So. So fucking much.

4. Its been getting a lot better lately but some days I still feel actually sickened at the sight of my own body

5. Single..

6. Painlessly. Hopefully much much later.

7. Taco belllll

8. I did soccer for a year when I was 4 and I want to attempt figure skating at some point, I'm really good at goalie in alot of games though

9. No I have two fake teeth that stop me from doing that (lore drop!!)

10. Never been in a fight. Just one sided against me if I wasn't absolutely fucking terrified of getting in trouble I would've beaten the shit outta some people, I suppose the closest thing I ever got was in 5th grade some dude was a repeated bully of mine I can't remember what it was about this time but he fucking grabbed my arm and twisted it like this fucking close to breaking it and I tried to kick him in the balls and a teacher yelled at me 🥰 he had no consequences

11. I mean I'm a Lil confused. I just got out of my first ever real relationship and I'm still recovering tbh. But I had liked my friend for three years previously and I still love him alot but I can't tell if it's platonic or not. I think it is now?

12. O n l y 48 hrs?

13. I hate alot of people tbh but I kinda hate myself for hating them cuz that's normal

14.yea

15. MY SILLY PUPPIES (one is 11 years old)

16. Fucking terrified cuz I'm about to play the second episode of sally face

17. I still have my lip virginity bro

18. HELL SPAWN

19. Maybe. I kinda wanna be a little kid again but also it wasn't the greatest for me outside of my house so I don't even know.

20. bRO PELASE STOP I HAVENT-

21. Nothing lmao

22. Idk maybe someday. Probably one maximum 2

23. Basic ear piercings but God I want more

24. English and science.

25. Yes.

26. Physical touch I need to cuddle up with someone right now I genuinely feel like I'm dying

27. I mean yea and I feel horrendous about it it broke my heart too but it wasn't a healthy relationship and was fucking up both of us

28. YES IN FUCKING FIFTH GRADE- I SWEAR TK GOD- I don't think he understood but like bruh

29. Please you're making me want to grab a knife and take it to my stomach I didn't want too but it needed to happen.

30. Same as sai, the questiond about relationships but for a different reason like God I felt horrendous enough already

31. Sai how fuckin dare you I love u okay ur like super cool and fun and I feel if I met you irl I would've wanted to be friends with you too. But I'm pretty sure I am. I just still sometimes have trouble believing it.

32. OURPLE

33. Whaaat noooo- WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU-

34. Last one thar wasn't jusr black was about choso from jjk and it was really silly I'm such a fucking degenerate bro help me

35. My dog clifford

36. Yes oh fuck yes I do and it has given me some of my worst regrets in life

37. Forgive, barely ever turns out well tho.

38. I wish its sucked tbh

39. NEVAH

40. proly when I was like a baby

In skipping numbers too for my brain to work

51. Tacoss

52. I mean technically yes it does I could go into science but I'm sure thats not what you mean, but no I do not believe everything happens for a reason because of some higher power or whatever

53. Played sally face for an hour then texted some friends cuz I was too fucking scared to sleep

54. Fuck no

55. I try not to be

56. None

57. I dunno.

58. Rainy

59. Yesss

60. Yup

61. Yeess

62. Idk alot of things surprisingly anime/friends/kpop tho r all great and video games

63. I like my name but it doesn't always feel like it fits but there's nicknames that help :3

64. STOP THIS

65. Heyyy this happened to me. I politely turned him down and we r still besties I went to his house 2 weeks ago

66. Yes. Same friend. When I went to his house he snorted fun dip and I RANTED to him about kpop for 30 minutes even tho he knows nothing

67. OH FUCK WAIT ONE OF MY BESTIES ID A TRANS DUDE I FORGOT HE TECUNIXALLY COUNTS AS OPPOSITE SEX KINDA IDK CUZ SEX IS LIKE ??? I DONT FUCKIN KNOW IG HIM BUT IF WE DONT MEAN GENDER BUT SEX THEN THE SAME DUDE FROM THE LAST TWO

68. Deepest within the last month was a 3am sleepover chat with my bestie over how mha saved my life

69. Idk

70. Yea at least 10 ppl

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow totally understand if u don't feel like answering these btw they r kinda hard

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[lizzielikeborden]

(ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ prompts for requests (>‿◠)✌

These are some prompts to use for requests. They have labels, so when you request be sure to use the label and the number so I know which section you got it from. Happy requesting!

Fluff

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “It’s you, it always has been.”

3. “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”

4. “Kiss me.”

5. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.” 

6. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

7. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

8. “I’d do anything for you.” 

9. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

11. “I’m so proud of you.” 

12. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

13. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

14. “You are my family.”

15. “I’m right here.”

16. “Can you just please hold me?” 

17. “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”

18. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

19. “You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/her/him/them) home.” 

20. “I just want to see you happy.”

21. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile like that in ages.” 

22. “You made me a better person. Thank you.” 

23. “I’d rather live in the woods with you than in a mansion with some (girl/boy/person) I barely know.”

24. “This reminded me of you.” 

25. “Your hair is really soft.”

26. “You’re really warm.”

27. “Are you blushing?”

28. “Can I stay here tonight?”

29. “Because I love you.”

30. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

31. “I’m never going to leave you. I promise.”

32. “Make a wish!”

33. “I love seeing you smile.”

34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

35. “I just want to be there for you.”

36. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

37. “You’re just a softie.”

38. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

39. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

40. “Why are you scared of loving?”

41. “You are crushing me right now.”

42. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out fo the kitchen.”

43. “I love you.”

44.“You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

45. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”

46. “You’re hurt. Please just let heal it.”

47. “At least let me clean it.”

48. “I told you to take care of yourself.”

49. “You’re the only thing that matters.”

50. “Stay.”

Angst

1. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

2. “You started drinking again, didn’t you?” 

3. “You promised you’d stop drinking.” “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!″

4.“But it’s my fault right?”

5.“I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb again.”

6.“You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”

7.“I love you.” “No you don’t”

8.“I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”

9.“Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”

10.“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”  

11.“I loved you.” “Then why did you let (her/him/them) get in between us?”

12.“Maybe they were right, you never did change.”

13.“This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”

14.“Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

15.“What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused.”

16.“You’ve changed.”

17.“You win, happy?”

18.“Any other lies left to tell me?”

19.“Why did you wait until I moved on?”

20.“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

21.“Its (her/him/them), isn’t it?”

22.“It’s always been (her/him/them).”

23.“When did you stop loving me?”

24.“Let me go.”

25.“You’re not you.”

26.“I miss the old you.”

27.“What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

29.“Move out of my way before I make you.”

30.“I risked my life for you.”

31.“I never would’ve thought (she/he/they)’d end up with someone else.”

32.“They were perfect for each other.”

33.“I was happier with you.”

34.“I would’ve done anything for you.”

35. “I loved you. I loved you so so much but you hurt me.”

36.“They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.” 

37.“Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

38.“You broke me.”

39.“You just threw four years of friendship out the window.”

40.“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”

41.“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

42.“You promised.”

43.“I don’t need help! I need an end to this pain.”

44.“What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”

45. “Leave”

46.“I can’t keep playing pretend.”

47.“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

48.“I wish we never met.”

49.“I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

50. “You scare me now.”

General

1.“I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 

2.“It’s pouring rain why are you here?”

3.“I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”

4.“Where are you?”

5.“What happened?”

6.“Have you been taking care of yourself?”

7.“Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

8. “Is that my book?”

9. “Are they dead?”

10. “You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.”

11.“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

12.“Come back to bed. Please.” 

13.“You’re who they warned me about.” 

14.“Come back.”

15.“You should’ve listened to me.”

16.“I haven’t seen you in days.” 

17.“Are you jealous?”

18.“Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink everything.” “Cheers!”

19.“Why is there a lion in the room?” 

20.“Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

21. “Can we take this home?”

22. “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?”

23. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”

24. “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.”

25. Come home.”

26. “I hope you’re happy.”

27. “They don’t need to know.”

28. “I made this for you.”

29. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

30. “Is this really the time for jokes?”

31.“Wake me up when it’s over.” 

32.“You look happy.” 

33.“I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

34.“Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

35.“Do you want that?”

36.“Don’t let go.” 

37.“Just let me stay.”

38.“Can I at least tell my side of the story?” 

39.“Do you trust me?” 

40.“Are you flirting with me?”

41.“Is the weight of your sins too heavy?”

42.“Just let me see (her/him/them) one last time. Please.”

43.“Are you afraid to die?”

44.“Are they really ‘just a friend’?”

45.“I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved you.”

46.“I won’t hurt you.”

47.“Have you been sleeping?”

48.“I didn’t know where else to go.”

49. “It’s not 8:00 AM, it’s 8:00 AM”

50. “We should just play our music louder, then we won’t hear theirs.”- “That’s so much noise.”

Mental Health

1.“I didn’t know where else to go.”

2."you can talk to me about anything"

3."I don't understand but I believe you"

4."I'll stay with you as long as you need me to"

5."take a deep breath"

6."do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?"

7."you don't have to go through this alone"

8."I'll check on you again tomorrow"

9."you're not broken"

10."let's take a five minute break

11."I love you no matter what your brain tells you"

12."I'm always here if you need anything"

13."please don't talk that way about yourself"

14."let me know if you ever need a ride to therapy"

15."don't forget to take your medication"

16."it's okay to ask for help"

17."I'll go with you for moral support"

18."I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does"

19."do you want to talk about it or would you like a distraction?"

20."you're safe"

21."there is always hope"

22.“I will do this with you, you’re never alone”

23.“No one is perfect.”

24.“I will sit outside this door for hours if that helps.”

25.“This is not your fault.”

26.“You do not owe anyone an apology.”

Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”

1.Holding their hands when they are shaking.

2.Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

3.Traveling long distances just to see them.

4.Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.

5.Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

6.Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.

7.Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

8.Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

9.Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

10.Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.

11.Telling them a dumb joke just to see their smile.

12.Following their family traditions that they enjoy.

13.Singing and dancing to their favorite song.

14.Calming them down when they have a bad dream.

15..Having a tickle fight until you’re breathless.

16.Folding their clean laundry and putting it away.

17.Sharing a soft smile across a crowded room.

18.Bringing them a plate of their favorite sliced fruit.

19.Washing their back/hair in the shower.

20.Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

21.Listening to them while they vent.

22.Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

23.Tracing your names together in the sand.

24.Wearing clothes in their favorite color.

25.Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

26.Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

27.Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

28.Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

29.Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

30.Pulling a chair out for them to sit down at the table.

31.Wrapping a blanket around them when they are sitting on the couch and watching a show.

32.Throwing away their piles of tissues when they have a cold.

33.Mending an item of their clothing that was ripped.

34.Running out in the middle of the night to get a food item they’re craving.

35.Helping brush their hair after a shower.

36.Making sure to be quiet while they’re taking a nap.

37.Letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt.

38.Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favorite.

39.Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh.

40.Giving them space when they express wanting to have some time alone.

41.Holding their hand while walking, even if there isn’t a crowd.

42.Holding shopping bags that are too heavy for them.

43.Standing between them and a busy road.

44.Rubbing the back of their hand with a thumb.

45.Giving them a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed.

46.Staying up half the night to finish a game with them.

47.Getting them a coffee just the way they like it.

48.Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.

49. Buying them a special treat when you go out shopping.

50. Watching shitty horror movies 

[alonely-dreamer]

Dangerous Creatures | Chapter 36: Dangerous Friends

Summary: Mackenzie and Elijah go to Marcel’s party

Pairing: Elijah x OC

Words: 3314

A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there. I’d like to thank @eywizard for beta reading this chapter for me!

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23: Part 1 | Chapter 23: Part 2 | Chapter 23: Part 3 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 (Part 1) | Chapter 25 (Part 2) | Chapter 25 (Part 3) | Chapter 26 (Part 1) | Chapter 26 (Part 2 & 3) | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32  | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35

On her knees, the seamstress focused on the needle, touching up the pants of her client’s suit as he admired himself in the mirror on his right.

“Damn, I do look good in a suit,” he said, making his friend in the cap laugh.

It wasn’t unusual for the seamstress to answer house calls, no, the only thing unusual about this client was the odd things he said. She felt weird as she focused on her work. She could hear the two men, but not quite comprehend what they were saying to each other, as if the words wouldn’t stick to her brain, turning into an alphabet soup she couldn’t read.

She thought she had heard names, Tina McGreevy and Joshua Rosza. What was the TV saying about them? Perhaps they were missing. No, it wasn’t that. Wait… who were they talking about again? Her mind was foggy and the more she tried to focus, the foggier it got.

“My guy at the docks is gonna come forward as an eyewitness, say he saw those two drunkenly fall into the Mississippi. They’ll be dredging for weeks, no one will come looking around here,” said the man in the cap, whose name she thought started with a ‘T’… Theo? Thibault? No… It was that.

“That’s good, considering one’s dead in a dumpster behind the county morgue and the other one’s a vampire now,” her client said with a chuckle. “Anything else?”

The words danced in her brain, refusing to form a correct sentence, refusing to make sense. As she tried to think back to what had just been said, she inadvertently pricked herself with her needle.

“Ow!”

She sat back on her knees and looked at her bloody finger. The man, whose name she thought might be Mark, crouched before her with a smile.

“Allow me, darling,” he said as he took her hand and brought the injured finger to his mouth.

She let him do it, even though her entire body was screaming at her to get up and go. Her mind was loud with alarms, screaming at her that it wasn’t safe, but she couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything but smile. His friend spoke up again.

“I sent four nightwalkers to look into a werewolf sighting in the Quarter. I haven’t heard from them since.”

Mark, or whatever his name was, lost his smile as he let go of her hand and sighed.

“That makes ten dead nightwalkers in the last week. You think the werewolves are back in town trying to start some trouble?”

“Look. I know you and Klaus are friends, but the fact is, since the Originals showed up…”

“Oh, come now, Thierry, you’re not still upset about that little toxic werewolf bite I gave you, are you?”

The seamstress barely registered the stranger who had just come into the fitting room. She felt like she was supposed to ignore him, to ignore them, to silence them out, and so she did.

“I see you’ve given him free rein of your compound now, too,” Thierry said with disappointment and disapproval.

“Yes. Well, seeing as my family and I lived here, built the place, in fact…”

“All right, come on,” Mark, or perhaps his name was Maxwell, interrupted their argument calmly, “you know the drill. Thierry is my guy, inner circle. Klaus is my old-time friend and sire. He’s also a guest here,” he reminded his friend. “Peace, all right?” he asked Thierry who nodded with a grimace. “All right,” he nodded as well. “What do you need, my brother?”

“I don’t need anything, just wanted to let you know Elijah accepted your invitation.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he smiled. “I hope you told him the rules.”

Klaus laughed. “He knows the rules, though I can’t promise he’ll follow them.”

“What about the witch?”

“Mackenzie? She used to love rules, would rather die than break them, actually. Now… not so much. But, no worries,” he added quickly to reassure his friend, “tonight is a party, no one expects a fight.”

“Right,” Marcel smiled unconvinced. “Let’s just have fun, eh?”

 ***

 “So, how’s Matt?” Mackenzie asked, picking up a strawberry from the bowl on the kitchen counter right in front of her.

The cooks were busy cooking food no one asked, or wanted, compelled by Klaus to act like they were serving kings and queens. The kitchen was filled with desserts that Hayley was convinced would make her fatter than her pregnancy.

“Sleeping,” Rebekah’s voice came through the speaker.

“Where are you again?”

“We reached Amsterdam a couple of days ago.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It is actually.”

“So, I guess you’re not gonna be there for my birthday, then…”

“My gift is already in the mail, it should be there in time.”

“I was hoping to see you.”

“Aw, do you miss me?” the Original vampire mocked over the phone.

“Don’t you miss me?”

“Of course, I miss you, but let me tell you, the phone system is definitely one of the best creations in the past century.”

“Yeah, well I was actually hoping to spend my birthday with my friends, you know, but Katherine said she had no intentions of coming anywhere near Klaus ever again, so…”

“So what? I’m your backup friend?”

“I’d have loved to have you both here but since you guys all hate each other, I think it would have just ruined the day.”

“You’re probably right. Just spend the day with Elijah, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to do anything you want. Birthday or not…”

“Fine, don’t come, it’s not like we can actually have a party anyway, in our secret hiding place away from Marcel…”

“Why don’t you just come join me in Europe? Leave Nik alone, he doesn’t deserve your help…”

“Well, that’s true, but I can’t just leave Hayley here alone with him…”

“You’re right, that sounds like a particularly cruel thing to do.”

“Anyway, have fun in Amsterdam then.”

“And you have fun at that party of yours, show Marcel what you’re capable of.”

“And how do you suggest she does that, Rebekah?” Elijah asked as he entered the kitchen.

Mackenzie smiled as she saw him, and leaned into him as he went to place a kiss in her hair.

“Brother, finally, you deign to talk to your poor sister…”

The Original rolled his eyes. “You’re always so dramatic, sister.”

“That bastard little thief stole our city and declared himself King, maybe you should show him he’s nothing but an ingrate little…”

“Alright, alright,” Mackenzie cut her off with a chuckle. “It’s a charity dinner, ‘bekah. We’re expecting champagne, good food, and dancing, nothing more.”

“You’re so boring. No wonder Kol hasn’t come around to visit you.”

“Ouch,” Mackenzie frowned. “Now you’re just being mean.”

“Heard from him recently?”

“He’s somewhere in Brazil, I believe,” Elijah answered.

“What the bloody hell is he doing there?”

“Who knows what our brother’s got in his head.”

“You got that right… Well, Matt is waking up, I have to go.”

They said their goodbyes before hanging up, Mackenzie still eating from the bowl of strawberries that was almost empty now.

“Do you even want to go to this thing?” she asked.

“No. But Marcel must have something in mind, and I’d hate to go against his plans.”

She smirked. “That’s so nice of you,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I am very nice,” he whispered before placing a kiss on her lips. “In fact, I have many nice things I want to do to you right now.”

“Ew, please, stop.”

The couple turned towards the kitchen doorstep to find Hayley standing there with a look of disgust on her face. Mackenzie rolled her eyes playfully as she took a step back from the vampire.

“What can we do for you, Hayley?” Elijah asked the newest member of the Mikaelson family.

“Nothing, I just came to stuff my face with the biggest cake I could find…”

“We’ll leave you to it then,” he nodded before he gently took Mackenzie’s hand and led her out of the room under Hayley’s uncomfortable gaze.

 ***

 So far, everything was going well. Elijah and his witch were behaving remarkably, the Original had already signed a check, and had been dancing with his companion ever since. Klaus was right. They looked unbearably in love. The silver satin dress she was wearing was remarkable as well, no doubt a gift from Elijah, and it complemented her set of diamond jewelry best. A swiss blue topaz gemstone rested above her cleavage, the necklace looked ancient, royal, almost, as if it had belonged to a generation of royalty and had somehow found its way to her. He figured many “lost” jewels had found their way in the Mikaelson collection over the years. He watched them carefully, tried to eavesdrop on them too, but they were smarter than to believe they’d get any privacy in a room full of vampires, and kept their conversation as polite and as normal as possible, as if they knew they had an audience. Eventually, Marcel had better things to do than to spy on the two lovers, and even managed to completely forget about them as Cami had finally joined the party.

“They spend their nights and days with Klaus - you’d think they’d be used to the presence of an Original by now,” Mackenzie complained about the pairs of eyes that hadn’t left them ever since they had entered the compound.

Marcel had gone above and beyond for this party. Dancers, acrobats, the finest chefs and the finest champagne… All the guests were having a great time and were happy to open their wallets to the charity of the night.

“I don’t think they’ll ever get used to us,” Elijah replied. “After all the stories they’ve heard about us, we were a myth to them until we arrived here.”

Mackenzie scoffed, wondering how long it would take for her irritation to turn into something more dangerous.

“If only they knew…” Elijah started.

“If only they knew what?”

“If only they knew they were worrying about the wrong person,” he grinned with pride.

She smirked back and nodded as she looked around at Marcel’s nightwalkers. “Indeed.”

That’s when she saw it, or rather him, a vampire she had come to learn was named Diego, entering the party wearing a shirt and jeans and an unhappy look on his face.

“Looks like something’s wrong,” she said as she watched him approach Marcel, obviously nervous about interrupting his time with Cami.

Diego whispered something into Marcel’s ear, and they could see on his face something was wrong indeed. Marcel started looking around and stopped as he found Elijah and Mackenzie surrounded by dancing couples. He frowned before he made their way to them.

“Something wrong, Marcellus?”

“Yes, actually, Elijah, something is wrong. Where’s Klaus?”

“I’m right here,” the hybrid said as he appeared behind him.

“Good, come with me.”

The three Mikaelsons looked at each other with an amused curiosity. Whatever was wrong, it wasn’t their problem, and if it bothered Marcel that much, it meant it was probably a good thing for them.

They followed him out of the compound, heard him order Diego to find as many nightwalkers as he could and join them at a place he called the Traps, which is where he was taking them.

“For a week now, my guys have been dying,” Marcel started his explanation. “There’s a werewolf in town who’s been killing my nightwalkers, and a witch or two have been helping it, using magic, undetected,” he informed them, barely concealing his anger.

“How is that our problem?” Elijah asked, not bothering to hide his lack of curiosity.

“Rumors are you’re at fault.”

“If we were killing your people we wouldn’t make a secret of it,” Mackenzie said in all honesty.

Marcel stopped in his tracks and turned towards her. Unbothered by his anger, almost bored, and definitely annoyed, she raised an eyebrow at him, defying him to attempt anything.

“Is that so?”

“That is so,” she confirmed, her eyes falling on Thierry standing behind him. “Want me to prove it?”

Marcel stared at her, put all of his anger in his eyes, tried to see something as she stared back, anything on her face, even just a little bit of fear, but he saw nothing. What the hell could she have gone through that had made her so tough? Or maybe it was arrogance? No, it wasn’t just that. She had something, she was someone, someone powerful, who wasn’t afraid of him, because he was no threat to her. Not only did she have Elijah’s protection, but she also didn’t need it, and that was scarier than Klaus himself, and as he finally found fear, it was unfortunately not hers, but his own.

“You were taking us somewhere?” Elijah eventually said after a minute of silence.

Marcel was trying to calm himself down, trying not to let the smirk that had appeared on the girl’s face get to him. He regained his composure, and his usual bright smile came and replaced the angry look on his face.

“But, as you are here, now I know you had nothing to do with the attacks on my men, and I thought we could go and see for ourselves who’s been causing so much trouble in my town,” he said as if he were offering them something.

“Sounds like a party,” Klaus smiled maliciously, encouraging Elijah and Mackenzie to relax.

Diego and a dozen nightwalkers had found them before they had even reached the Traps, and signs of a fight could be heard from down the street. Mackenzie could sense a werewolf and at least two witches inside, and vampires, dying one after the other.

Marcel gave Diego the order to attack, to kill whoever it was that was killing his own men in his own town. Among the screams of rage and fear were laughs - laughs Elijah and Mackenzie thought they recognized. She looked up at him and the look on his face confirmed her doubts. He heard it too, but she also felt it. A smile creeped onto her face.

“Call back your men before they all get killed,” she said, and he heard the amusement in her tone.

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s only advice.”

“Advice you should seriously consider,” Elijah added.

But Marcel shook his head no and ordered more of his men to go in with him. They couldn’t even see what was happening inside. The bar had no window, only a door that was now broken. But they could hear everything that was happening and that was enough to give them an idea of the scene. Mackenzie chuckled, seriously debating whether or not to intervene.

“Perhaps we should do something,” Elijah suggested.

“What is going on?” Klaus asked, obviously irritated he was left in the dark.

Mackenzie smiled as she moved to go inside. She snapped the necks of every vampire there with a wave of a hand, and they all fell to the ground. All but Marcel. The bar was completely destroyed. Only a couple of chairs and tables were still standing, but most of them had been used as a stake and were now resting in the hearts of a dozen vampires. She walked past a temporarily dead Diego and took in the scene.

A man, the werewolf, was standing at the end of the room, with blood dripping from his mouth, holding a stake in his right hand, the broken chair he had ripped it off of in his other. He smiled at her as he saw her, the blood on his face made him look funny and she held back a laugh. A blonde witch was near him, waving at her, her free hand magically pinning a vampire to the ceiling. The last witch sat on the bar, her hair, her face, her outfit spotless, as if she hadn’t been part of the fight at all, but Mackenzie knew she had the highest body count.

“Mackenzie!” they all greeted in unison.

Her smile grew bigger and a laugh escaped her. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We came for your birthday, of course,” Olivia said as she jumped off the bar.

God, Mackenzie thought. She looked so much like Margo.

“Mom says hello.”

“Does her Majesty know you’re here?” Elijah asked as he stepped inside the bar with his brother.

“Of course,” Felicity answered as she let go of the vampire she was holding against the ceiling. He fell with a cry, and her boyfriend seized the opportunity to stake him.

Marcel would have stopped him and killed them all, or died trying, if Mackenzie didn’t have him pinned to the wall.

“Lying to Margo is a very bad idea,” Oliver said.

Olivia gave Mackenzie a hug and whispered in her ear: “Heidi says hi.”

Mackenzie’s heart skipped a bit and as she backed away to look at the Princess, the witch winked. Elijah frowned.

“We have so many gifts,” Felicity said as she hugged the elemental.

“You don’t turn twenty-years-old every day,” Oliver continued as he approached them.

“Who are you?” Klaus asked dryly, tired of being left out.

“Klaus, these are my friends from Germany,” she introduced them, “guys, this is Klaus.”

“Well, you definitely picked the more handsome brother,” Oliver winked at her and was rewarded by his girlfriend’s elbow in his ribs.

Elijah chuckled. “You’ve been here for a week?”

“Yeah, we got here early, we wanted to meet the um…” Oliver stopped himself. “You know…”

“How do you know about it?” Mackenzie questioned.

“The oracles told mom. I mean, it’s not something you see every day.”

Of course the oracles would know about Hayley and the baby. It made them wonder who else knew, and if they needed to be more cautious.

“It’s just werewolf curiosity,” Oliver shrugged.

“Are Heidi and Alexander going to be joining us?” Elijah asked.

“And are they going to kill more of my guys?” Marcel worried.

“Not their type,” Mackenzie informed him.

“To be fair we wouldn’t have killed anyone if they had left us alone,” Felicity said.

“But they went on about how werewolves are forbidden in the Quarter, and that really pisses a werewolf off, if you know what I mean,” Oliver growled.

“Werewolves are forbidden in the Quarter,” Marcel snarled.

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“And you are?”

“I suggest you stick to giving your own men orders,” Olivia said with royal authority, “you are no match for us, as you can see.”

“We don’t take orders from vampires,” Oliver added salt to injury.

“I heard witches weren’t allowed to do magic in their own town,” Felicity continued, “another one of your rules, I suppose?”

“Shall we kill him?” Olivia wondered.

Klaus laughed. “Please, my friend here has been ruling over the Quarter for decades now, he’s just doing his job.”

“If his job consists of stopping witches from practicing their craft and hunting werewolves, then he is an unfit ruler and a change of leadership is needed,” Olivia said. “A good ruler promotes peace among all, and if you’re unable or too weak to achieve that, then you must be replaced.”

“I think there’s been enough killing for one night,” Elijah tried to defuse the situation. “Why don’t we take you to our place, so you can rest?”

“As you wish,” Olivia nodded. “We could use a home for the remainder of our stay.”

“I’ll let my brother show you to our place,” Klaus showed them out of the bar. “I will stay and help my friend clean up this place.” He gave them an obvious fake smile that neither of the three companions paid any mind to.

Mackenzie and Elijah looked at each other knowingly. Here went Klaus’ good mood.

**********

[heyjude19-writing]

Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 10: Sweet Beans AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/66411679 What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - The digital clock on the wall said 4:36 PM. 

 Gordon was laying on the futons in the living room, limbs lazily stretched out and staring at the ceiling. Most members of the Science Team were currently preparing dinner in the kitchen, supervised by Joshua.

 The past few days had been... certainly something. It felt like he had attempted speedrunning several different things at the same time because there was an unsettling feeling of time running out fast for something if he didn't. 

 He knew that was his anxiety. The feeling of too little time for anything, his thoughts running 88 miles per hour, sending him down rabbit holes of thoughts and worries. Especially, since his last job for Black Mesa had him mess up his medication schedule during his time in the simulation. He was slowly getting back to what he considered his personal normal state... and it was honestly a relief. 

 Gordon turned his head to the side, acknowledging Benrey, who was sitting beside him on a pillow, Gordon's injured arm gently laying on his open palms as he was applying a new layer of healing sweetvoice to it. 

His arm was significantly better now. Still sensitive to touch, but all in all healing. Though he had to admit that the scars that had been forming in the process were... unique. 

 The edge of where the mess started was more akin to what he had expected - lighter coloured slightly bumpy lines & patches where the skin had been damaged. 

 But the area where it had been an open wound? That's where it looked... unusual. It looked like a protective layer of flesh & skin had formed where it shouldn't have without a proper surgery. The skin there was just as light as the scarring on the edge... but it felt new. Sensitive. And a certain amount of weird because... well, this simply wasn't what a human body would do on its own during a healing process.

 Then again... his body had been getting help with the whole thing-

 Gordon closed his eyes and let out a soft hum, almost harmonizing with Benrey holding a steady note beside him, as the cool sweetvoice hit his arm. 

 He hadn't really had the time to ponder over the fact that he was sharing his apartment with several non-humans... but laying on a comfy futon, having to hold still and wait for Benrey to be done sweetvoicing at him - yeah, that sounded like a good time as any.

 Well, until he noticed that Benrey stopped singing. He opened one eye, seeing Benrey looking at him with a questioning look on his face, his head slightly tilted to the left.

 "Yo, you gonna space out on me with 'em big thoughts?", Benrey asked.

 Gordon chuckled at that. 

 "I told you once and I'll tell you again - your sweetvoice is good. Helpful and... just really relaxing. Helps my brain shut up about the painful shit and lets me focus on things I actually want to think about. Can't help it, my dude.", he said with a shrug and a soft smile.

 "Huh.", was all Benrey said, keeping eye contact with Gordon.

 The human in question blinked up at the guard.

 "If you want... I can tell you my thoughts while you do... uh... the healing thing? No need to reply to me, just... I don't know, me rambling for a bit?"

 Now it was Benrey's turn to blink - and to Gordon's surprise similarly to a lizard, an eye-lid-like part of eyes closing over them sideways.

 "... that's so fucking cool...", Gordon whispered in awe, staring at Benrey with wide eyes.

 "Whu- What?"

 "The thing your eyes do when you blink! I... I guess I was never close enough to actually notice it. It just looks cool, is all I'm saying."

 "W-Wow, Gordon Flirtman here trying to butter me up with the compliments?"

 Despite his quick retort, Benrey visibly turned a shade darker and averted his eyes, letting out a few pink orbs of sweetvoice before returning to the healing teal.

 Gordon let out an amused huff, resting his free arm behind his head and looking back at the ceiling.

 "Look, I just appreciate all the cool non-human things you and the others can do. I... I don't know how much of it was just part of the simulation and what you can do now that you're free again... but it's simply exciting to me!"

 He heard a slightly deeper-pitched tone coming from Benrey, somehow making him feel like it was okay to continue talking.

 "So many terrifying things crawled out of the Breach over the past years... all with the goal to destroy and to conquer. The Kaiju and every other creature related to them were all I had for reference for non-human beings for a long time. Aside from Joshua, of course, but you get what I mean."

 Benrey let out a few notes that sounded similar to a soft "Uh-huh". 

Gordon continued. 

 "But as scary as you guys think you are... and as you can be-"

 Gordon turned his head towards Benrey once more.

 "- Thank you for being you. Silly, obnoxious, chaotic and kind. And for showing me that not everything you can find beyond portals and in shady labs is something I should fear forever. That I needed to learn to listen and learn, again. To understand. To actually be the kind of scientist I always wanted to be."

 They sat there for a while, Benrey laser-focused on Gordon's arm, a few stray orbs of sweetvoice remaining in the air between them as he eventually closed his mouth.

 "I did a good... thing? By being- uh, me?", Benrey eventually stuttered out, still gently holding Gordon's arm in his hands. 

 Gordon nodded.

 "No one told you to apologize to me after everything - even when I told you not to worry- but you did so anyway and on your own accord. Not to mention you are actively helping me heal physically since the moment you guys found me."

 He reached over, resting his hand on Benrey's knee.

 "You may not be human, Benrey... but you are a person who tries to make up for the things they fucked up. And that's a good thing, in my book."

 Benrey's brows were furrowed as he slowly nodded.

 "I'm.... n-not a bad guy? All the time?"

 "You're a menace with Gremlin energy at worst, at this point."

 That made Benrey snort, Gordon laughing softly in return. 

 "Uh, feed me snacks 24/7 and I'll be the greatest cool!", Benrey added with a grin.

 "That's not how Gremlins work!", Gordon wheezed, moving his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into loud laughter.

 "Only got the energy, bro. Am not small or fuzzy... right now."

 Gordon slowly sat up, intrigued by the implications of those last two words. He opted to sit cross-legged, radiating curiosity and excitement as his hand was drumming away on his thigh.

 "Shapeshifting... Shapeshifting!! Okay, okay! Tell me when I get too personal with my questions but... uh... you can change your appearance not just in size? Holy shit man, that's... that's WILD!"

 Benrey stared at Gordon with wide eyes for a second, taken off-guard by the man's excitement for his more out-there powers. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously - something he had observed Gordon doing sometimes and added to his own mannerisms. 

 "Yeah, uh, character creation ain't perma-locked. Can access that anytime I want. Makes me tired when I do it too much... but it's cool.", he said, then looking somewhat unsure- "Would you... be a big cool with me doing that? Around here? SMALL WAYS! N-No big Benny. Just... feel comfy here. To do that, I mean."

 Gordon smiled at that, reaching over to place a hand on Benrey's shoulder. 

 "Dude, as long as you don't go full horror and accidentally scare the shit out of any of us, go ahead. I don't know... what you have in mind with "small ways"... but I am curious, so... go ham."

 "You sure? Is right now okay?"

 "Uh... if you want, yeah!"

 Gordon was about to remove his hand to give Benrey some space, but within the blink of an eye Benrey's hands looked... almost paw-like. His fingertips ended in dull claws, while the skin on his hands had a slight gradient to them, reminding Gordon of the ever-present shadow on Benrey's face. He let out a soft gasp-

 "Holy SHIT?!- Let me see?? Can I touch them?"

 "Huh? Ain't nothing fancy, but sure."

 Gordon mirrored Benrey's previous gentleness with his arm as he now carefully took one of Benrey's hands (paws?) in his own.

 "Wow...", Gordon breathed, slowly turning it over-

"HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE BEANS????? PAW BEANS?"

 Benrey let out a crackle at that but nodded. 

 "Sometimes, 'cause it makes stuff easier. Climbing and holding shit and all that. Got that perfect gamer grip."

 "..."

 Benrey tilted his head at Gordon's sudden silence. 

 "Uh... ?"

 Gordon looked up from staring at Benrey's hand, the biggest smirk on his face. 

 "So... you got paw beans."

 "Y-Yeah?"

 "Which means you also have toe beans-"

 "What you talking about Feetm-"

 "Beanrey."

 "Wha-"

 "BEANREY!"

 "NO!", Benrey exclaimed through already starting to laugh, as Gordon fell back on the futon wheezing, barely managing out a "YES!" in reply.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: just extra super fluff for this chapter. soo enjoy? i hope you like it haha! also, i know the song she sings comes out a year later buuuut yea, whatever lol! a few more cute fluff chapters before drama happens sooo yea. i hope you guys like it. i know not many ppl read this anymore and its okay. just know i love you guys for being loyal and reading this story after 45 chapters. your comments and reblogs and likes and asks make me so so so happy i cant explain! keep sending ideas youd like to read too :)

only one request for this chapter but its fluff so :P

Chapter 45 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I felt myself waking up slowly but kept my eyes closed. My lips curled slightly when I heard my boyfriend’s voice from the shower and I forced myself to open my eyes. I sat up in bed and stretched but when I pushed the covers off of me, I felt a shiver run up my spine despite the fact that it was the end of june and that it was most likely very warm outside. I put my feet off the bed and moved my toes on the carpet before breathing in and getting up. The door was ajar and the closer I got, the better I could hear Niall sing. I pushed on the door slightly and leaned against the door frame, listening to his voice as the steam hit my skin and warmed me.

I had never felt so happy in my entire life with someone and even after all these months, I could barely believe we were dating. I crossed my arms on my chest and leaned my head on the frame too, staring at my boyfriend singing and dancing in the shower. After a while he turned to me and saw me staring at him. He smiled back and made a quick head movement but I shook my head slightly. He rolled his eyes with a smile and opened the glass door. His hair was full of foam and he looked cuter than ever, making me nibble on my bottom lip despite myself.

“Please?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and making me roll my eyes.

I took a few steps closer, letting my arms fall on each side of my body, and his lips curled more at my sight. When he was finally able to reach me, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me his way, making me chuckle.

“No no, I took a shower last night remember?”

He smirked and raised his eyebrows at me, not letting go. “And then I fucked your brains out, remember?” he replied in a smartass tone. “Come on, you smell like good sex and sweat.”

I laughed at his words and let him pull me with him. He closed the door behind me and I held my breath as the warm water fell on me and soaked my shirt and panties. Niall smiled more and quickly moved his head back right under the stream to rinse his hair. I stared at his naked body as he closed his eyes, running his hand through his hair to make sure all the soap was gone.

Without thinking, I ran my hands on his wet chest and quickly, he moved his head up again and opened his eyes, bending down to reach my smile with his. The kiss was gentle and soft and I felt water drops fall from his hair to my cheek. A wave of well-being washed over me and I pressed my hands more on his chest.

“What were you singing?” I asked, tilting my chin up.

“Something I wrote. I’ll sing it to you when it’s done.”

I smiled and licked my lips, staring at him some more. I felt like Niall hadn’t written anything in months and I knew he was missing it. I loved watching and listening to him when he was playing guitar, or when he was sitting in front of the piano, but it hadn’t happened much until very recently. He was not the type to share and I respected that, but I was curious and interested in everything that made him happy.

“Happy Birthday petal.” he whispered against my mouth. “How does it feel to date a younger man like me?”

I laughed against his mouth and felt his lips curl against mine.

“Feels amazing.” I admitted, still amused. “Better than yesterday, for sure.”

“But not as good as tomorrow, yea, I know.”

I laughed more and felt his hands slip under my drenched shirt, reaching under my breasts slowly. I bit my bottom lip as he stared at me before kissing me again but deeper this time. I could feel my whole body throb until his thumbs brushed under my breasts. I quickly held my breath again, my heartbeats accelerating, but he just slid his hands back down to my waist.

“Mm, come on darling, take a shower, i’ll go prepare something while you do.”

“Nooo!” I complained when he took a step back. “You can’t turn me on and then leave me here alone.”

He laughed and shook his head, pushing the glass door of the shower again and getting out.

“Such a horny girl.” he just let out, clearly amused by my behavior.

I sent him puppy eyes but he just shook his head and closed the door, trapping me in the shower before blowing me a kiss and leaving.

I grimaced but decided to wash my hair and body quickly after getting undressed and when I finally got out of the shower, I grabbed a fluffy towel only to realize it was warm and I quickly wrapped it around me.

“Thanks for putting it in the dryer.” I let out with a smile when I walked back into our bedroom. “You’re perfect.”

He had put sweatpants and a t-shirt back on and I stared at his back as I tried to find a similar outfit in one of his drawers. With a sigh, I took my towel off and dressed up before rubbing the towel in my hair to dry it more. After a few minutes, he turned around and sent me a fond smile and I smiled back until he handed me something.

“This is one of your gifts.” He explained, holding out a box about as large as a book, wrapped in silver and pink paper. “The personal one.”

I felt my heart skip a few beats inside my chest and smiled as big as possible, pressing my lips together. These were the gifts coming from Niall that I preferred. Of course, I enjoyed the trips, the spa days, the jewels and the activities he gave but the gifts with a meaning meant a million times more and Niall always knew exactly what would make me happy. He gave me things I didn’t even know I needed before.

I licked my lips and grabbed it, unwrapping it very slowly as he stared at my fingers. I let the paper fall on the floor when I noticed an old picture of us in a frame. It was the one I told him to bring on his trip and my lips curled more but i noticed something at the bottom and frowned, moving the frame up to have a better look. My lips parted when I noticed what it was and I looked up in his eyes. It was a card that was part of a game Lottie had brought at the lodge. I remembered picking up that card from the “Kiss & Tell” game before rushing to the bathroom and locking myself in it. I hadn’t told anyone what was on the card except Niall. We had been laying in the dark and I had showing him right before telling him it was him I wanted to kiss, but I didn’t have the guts to. I looked down again at the card and read the words. “Kiss the person you love the most in the room.”

“I kept it and I didn’t know why. It was in my wallet all this time. I remember wondering how I would have felt if you had kissed me instead of Harry after picking up that card, you know?” he shrugged and looked down at it. “That night you said you loved me more than anyone else in the world and I said I did too. I didn’t understand back then why it was so important for me but now I do.”

He took a step closer and brought his hands to my waist, waiting until I looked up in his eyes again.

“When we fought a few months ago after my trip, I left you here to get drunk. We both went to bed mad, or at least not on good terms, and I realized how wrong it was. I want to keep this frame in our room, right next to the bed, so every time we fight or argue, we always work things out here before falling asleep. I will always kiss the person I love the most right before I fall asleep. Every single night. I promise.”

I felt myself tear up and swallowed the lump in my throat. I couldn’t talk, I knew that my voice would crack, and without thinking, I crushed my mouth against his, It hurt slightly but he didn’t say anything. He just pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. He tasted so fucking good and I felt tears fall down my face as we kept on kissing for I don’t know how long. When he pulled away, I kept my eyes closed and brushed my lips against his.

“When you said you were romantic I thought you were the type, you know, to give flowers and stuff.”

He laughed and moved his upper body back to look in my eyes.

“There’s a bouquet waiting for you int he kitchen.”

This time, i’m the one who laughed. I turned around and put the frame next to the bed on the small table and sighed as I looked at our younger faces on the picture. I wanted this house to be full of pictures of us, whether they were recent or old.

“Come, let’s go bake that cake of yours.”

I turned back to him with a frown and tilted my head.

“I gotta bake my own birthday cake?”

He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him until the kitchen and I noticed all the ingredients already out along with a big bouquets of white and purple lilacs placed in the middle of the table.

“The florist said it looked ridiculous and tried to convince me to add other flowers but I knew that’s what you wanted.” he pointed out. “Just in case though, there’s also a bouquet of roses in the living room.”

I smiled more and chuckled, loving the fact that he knew me so well, and took a step closer to him to kiss his lips.

“Aaaand maybe a few tulips next to the piano.” he grimaced before I brushed my lips on his jaw.

“How are you so perfect?”

He searched for my mouth with his and kissed me deeply again. I was not even surprised that his kisses still made butterflies hit the inside of my stomach, even after so many months. I knew it would always be like that.

“Okay, come on now, let’s bake that cake yea?” he said a little louder, getting out of my embrace and turning around to go grab the flour. “We got up late and we have a busy evening and an even busier night!”

“Niall, I said I didn’t want anything big.” I complained with a grimace, letting my head fall back on my shoulders.

“I promise on my life you’re gonna have fun! It’s just a few hours with our friends, and then i’m bringing you somewhere else just the two of us.”

I wanted to be annoyed but the truth was, I was touched and very very curious. I walked up to him as he was cracking an egg, letting it fall in a bowl and I sighed low of happiness.

“Thank you, Niall.”

He turned his head quickly to peck my lips with a light sound and I chuckled.

“Come on, read the recipe out loud will you?”

Quickly, we made the cake mix and ended up having a bit more difficulty working on the icing. I ended up a bit annoyed and searched through his fridge, taking the cream cheese out and putting it on the counter.

“We’ll just prepare the easiest icing ever and pretend we’re amazing bakers, how’s that?”

He laughed and we started working on it in silence right after putting the mix in the oven.

“Just a bit of milk.” I specified. “Do you have vanilla?”

I watched him combine everything in a bowl as I nibbled my bottom lip and added icing sugar slowly to the mix.

“You know, we’re actually a good team.” I pointed out.

I watched him dip his finger in the icing and sticking his tongue out to get a taste.

“Heyy, what about me?” I frowned jokingly before he dipped an other finger in it and wiped the icing on my cheek, making me groan.

“Come here.”

He pulled me closer and licked my cheek, making a shiver run up my spine at the contact of his tongue with my skin.

“You’re right, it tastes amazing, we’re a good team.” he admitted low. “Not just for baking.”

He took the icing again, taking more of it with his finger and putting it on my neck. I held my breath as his tongue ran on my skin and quivered again in his arms.

“I just took a shower, remember?”

“Oh shut up.” he let out, making me laugh, as he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.

“Can I get a taste, too?”

Without answering, he brought his lips against mine and kissed me deeply but very slowly.  I closed my eyes, running my hand in his hair and letting a moan escape my lips. He swallowed it and I felt his fingers slip slightly under my shirt, on the skin of my back. I laughed against his mouth when he broke the kiss and shook my head.

“I meant you know, really taste.”

“Mmhm.” he shrugged, pulling away and taking the icing bowl. “I know that’s what you meant, but you can’t taste your cake before tonight.”

“But-”

“Don’t argue!” he cut me with a smirk. “Go in the living room, i’ll join you, okay?”

I groaned and let my feet rub on the wood floor in an annoying noise as a sign of protestation. It’s only when I reached the living room that my lips curled back again. There was a literal fort made with blankets and cushions and I let out a chuckle of amazement.

“Niall?” I asked loud enough for him to hear.

“Sit down! I’m coming!”

I chuckled and got on my knees, pushing the blanket that acted as a door only to sit on the tiny mattress. I couldn’t believe he had taken the time to make a fort in his own living room and I started wondering how long it took him to plan that. He had placed his tablet on the side and when he joined me, I frowned slightly.

“Why did you bring this?” I asked, pointing it right before a smile reappeared on my face.

He handed me a bowl of ice cream and I started jumping slightly on my ass while still sitting.

“Don’t move too much, it’s not that solid.” he laughed a bit. “I thought we could watch a movie together?”

I sent him a fond smile and tilted my head again before nodding very slowly.

“Great! So I bought your favorite ice cream but added candies, chocolate syrup and caramel, the way you like it.”

“Thank you, Nee.” I let out as he sat in front of me. I moved my upper body closer to kiss him. “Thank you so fucking much.” I kissed him again. “Thank you.” Again. “Thank you.” And again.

“You also get to pick the movie.” he let out with a smile, kissing me back. “We’ll watch anything you want. It’s your day.”

I sat back and looked at him with a smirk, raising my eyebrows as his face changed.

“Now you’re scaring me.” he admitted as I laughed, grabbing his tablet. “Wait what are you doing? Isn’t the movie you want to watch on netflix?”

I held his tablet against me and raised my eyebrows at him again.

“Do you promise we’ll watch whatever I want?”

It took him a few seconds but he finally nodded.

“I promise.”

                                                     —

The bar was loud and crowed but we quickly found our friends waiting for us, sitting a bit further with beer and sangria pitchers. I smiled more, a bit excited, and everyone greeted us, telling me ‘happy birthday’ for the first time in person on that day. Louis was the last one and he got up to wrap his arms around me before I hugged him back.

“Happy birthday princess.” he whispered after kissing one of my cheeks and pulling me closer. “I hope your day is perfect, that’s what you deserve.”

I laughed when we pulled away and bit on my bottom lip.

“It is, I have the perfect boyfriend and he made this day perfect.”

We sat down and I felt Niall’s hand slide on my thigh. I quickly put my hand over his and intertwined our fingers, squeezing them hard.

“What did she make you watch?” Louis asked with a smirk. “Back To The Future again?”

Niall’s smile fell and he rolled his eyes, making Louis laugh.

“Which one?”

“Louis, don’t even ask.” Niall argued, shaking his head and making me smile more.

“We didn’t watch Back To The Future.” I pointed out, leaning on the table to get closer to Louis. “I made him watch This Is Us.”

Louis’ eyes moved from me to Niall then back at me and finally on Niall before he burst into laughter, making Niall growl next to me. I squeezed his fingers tighter but I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my face.

“How was it, Neil? To watch a movie with you in it with your girlfriend by your side?” Louis teased.

Niall raised his eyebrows and nose up as he leaned one of his elbow on the table, staring in his friend’s eyes.

“The worst was actually looking at you for an hour and a half, Tommo.”

Louis laughed again and shrugged.

“Guess you’re cursed, mate, because here I am again!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at their banter until Louis grabbed a glass and poured me sangria. Niall did the same for himself with beer and he finally sighed, the left corner of his lips raising up.

“You know, I can’t really blame her though.” Niall joked. “The girl enjoys looking at me, I just give her what she needs.”

“Oh shut up.” I let out, making him laugh more. “Now what’s so special about tonight? Why are we here anyway?”

I glanced around before meeting Louis’ eyes and he smirked, raising his eyebrows. I didn’t like it and frowned, suddenly a bit scared of what was to come. Julie chuckled and it caught my attention, making me look at her.

“It’s karaoke night.” she explained with a sigh but also a smile on her lips. “And apparently, we’re all going to sing.”

I felt suddenly extremely nervous and without realizing it, I squeezed my boyfriend’s fingers hard between mine.

“Ouch, darling, watch the fingers, they’re important.” he chuckled. “For music and for… you know.. pleasure.”

“Niall.” I whispered, looking down at our hands together. “You know I hate being on a scene. I don’t like attention.”

“You did it a few years ago and you had fun.”

I sent him an annoyed look and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. He was right, I had sang a song a while ago at a karaoke night and we always had a lot of fun doing those in someone’s living room, but in public it was a bit different. I was already a bit shy around my friends, so to think i would do it in front of a bunch of strangers made it even worse.

“Here.” Louis let out, pushing the sangria pitcher closer. “Drink up. I’ll go first.”

I swallowed the whole glass in front of me and filled it out again as I watched Louis get on stage and grab a microphone.

“Here’s one of the best written songs in the whole world.” he only explained as the music started.

I held my breath and smiled when I recognized the oasis song and mouthed it with him.

“So Sally can wait, she knows it’s too late as she’s walking on by My soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I heard you say.”

When he was done and the music stopped, we all got up and started clapping. Liam even whistled loud and I let out a ‘woohoo!“ when he got off stage. He hugged me and bent down to whisper in my ear.

“Do it now, it’s worth it.”

I quickly nodded and he moved away. He extended his hand and I slapped in it before bumping my fist against his.

“Come on, you can do it.” he added as I sent him a smile.

I turned to Niall and I smiled without thinking. I watched him push his glasses on his nose and a bunch of memories of us came back to my mind. I felt so lucky to have him in my life and I chuckled.

“Just for you.”

I didn’t wait for his answer and ran up the stairs as a guy walked up to me to ask me which song I wanted to sing. I told him and he chuckled before nodding and finally left after handing me the microphone.

“I dedicate this to my best friend in the whole wide world.”

The first notes started and I kept my gaze on Niall and when I started singing, I saw him start laughing hard, his mouth wide open. He let his head fall back and clapped in his hands a few times to encourage me.

“Right from the start, couldn’t pull us apart, it just works Nobody else ever gets me as well on this earth Like rock and roll, Marshall’s and telly’s Mac and cheese, PB’s and jellies Some things are better together, and that’s you and me-e

Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my brother from another, 'nother mother You are my favorite, I’m not ashamed to admit Cause I do, dude, I do Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my homie, no one knows me like you know me Like the sun and the moon, all the best things comes in two What would I do without a friend like you?

W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you?”

I smiled as I sang when I noticed all my friends were standing up and dancing together and when the song stopped, I bowed down quickly and ran back to my friends without really giving them any attention. Niall bent down slightly, his arms open, and I ran to him.. He picked me up for a few seconds and put me back down before kissing me hard, laughing against my lips.

“Good song. Thank you.” he whispered, pulling away. “Now listen to mine, yea?”

I nodded and he grabbed my hand before walking to the stage. When he was far enough, my hand slipped out of his and I just stared at him as he grabbed the microphone. He cleared his throat and licked his lips, making my heart melt in my chest. I sat down but remained on the edge of my chair as he talked.

“For the love of my life.”

It took me literally one note to recognize the song and I held my breath as I felt myself tense. I tried to remember all the words of the song and something twisted in my stomach.

“You’re a falling star, you’re the get away car You’re the line in the sand when I go too far You’re the swimming pool on an August day And you’re the perfect thing to see

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute Oh, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do Baby, don’t pretend that you don’t know it’s true 'Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything”

I don’t know why but slowly, I got up and walked closer to the scene as we stared at each other. Was it possible for this love story to last forever? Could this love we felt for each other never fade away or die?

“You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well And you light me up when you ring my bell You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space You’re my every minute of my everyday

And I can’t believe, uh, that I’m your man And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can Whatever comes our way, oh, we’ll see it through And you know that’s what our love can do

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything You’re every song, and I sing along Cause you’re my everything Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la, la-la-la”

I didn’t scream when he was done but I heard all our friends do it. He jumped off the stage and cupped my face the way he had done it after playing the song he had written for me and when his wet lips met mine, my eyes fluttered close.

“It’s been six moths but I love you as much as I did back then, maybe even more.” he whispered, kissing me deeply again. “Definitely more.”

“Thank you, Niall.” I breathed out, swallowing hard as I felt myself tear up for the second time that day. “This day is perfect.”

“This day is not over.” he added, smiling more, the palms of his hands warming my already burning cheeks. “Happy birthday Olivia, I love you.”

[earnest-jumping]

For the asks— do all the even numbers!

107.58

That’s so long, fuck- ok here we go!

2. I am outgoing until I can’t mask anymore, or I have a sensory overload.

4 I like to think I am easy to get along with!

6 ,,,Attracted as in romantically? I have no idea. But in a platonic way, similar interests, concern for my wellbeing and happiness, understanding and knowing of my limits and able to compromise!

8 Real life, no one. But Drake Mallard lives rent free in my mind

10 My roommate! We are very similar in many ways and we have some similar backgrounds, so we talk often about them and everything going on right now as well.

12 current 5 favorite songs: Vices by Mothica, Garden Song by Phoebe Bridgers, A Letter To Time by Livingston, Peace by Taylor Swift, and Cherry Wine by Hozier!

14 I believe in miracles. This world is too random and spontaneous for things people deem miracles to not be, ya know? But I don’t believe in luck. Circumstance plays into it, as well as pure chance.

16 Oh, fuck no. I would not kiss them again

18 My guy I can’t even tell you what was really a crush and what was heteronormativity forced on me from grade school onward. So... no?

20 I live in a dorm and I fuckin love my neighbors rn. On one side they’re both enby like me, and on the other they’re super sweet and polite!

22 I really want to visit Europe. Classic american answer, yeah, but I love history and theirs is so much more interesting than ours

24 My favorote part of my daily routine (that is consistent, student teaching and classes are nuts) is spending time doing homework and hanging out with my roommate at the end of each day, before she goes in to work the night shift. It’s calm and gives us a chance to catch up!

26 When I wake up I usually groan and fall back asleep for another ten minutes. I make sure to have a few alarms set so I don’t sleep through the morning!

28 My roommate. We’ve known each other for three years and she doesn’t judge me or make me feel uncomfy- it’s really nice as someone with autism to be able to live in close, constant contact with someone who you trust and are comfortable around!

30 Hmm...maybe? Marriage isn’t something I’ve ever truly thought about in a realistic sense- sure, I’d imagine a wedding and what mine would look like if I had one. But I’ve never imagined actually GETTING married to someone.

32 I will not have a threesome with celebrities because I am ~traumatised~ and do not like sexual intimacy

34 I don’t play sports, but when I was little I was part of a gymnastics class!

36 I have indeed liked someone and never told them. It was honestly for the better lmao

38 I don’t think I can really describe a dream person? I’m not very keen on having a list to check off when looking for a partner. If anything, though, I’d say trustworthy and caring.

40 I’m already out of high school lol. I’m in my junior year majoring in Early Childhood/Special Education!

42 Being extremely quiet for me usually means sensory overload, depressive thoughts, or my rejection sensitive dysphoria rearing its ugly head. Most of the time its a mix of the three.

44 Trip to puter space > bottom of the ocean, any day. DEEP SEA SCARES ME!

46 I’m paranoid that everything I’ve ever done in my life is all for naught, and I’ve faked everything about myself subconsciously.

48 I have been drunk before! My seven year old self accidentally drank a full margarita instead of the kiddie version my grandma made with sprite instead of alcohol.

50 The color of the last hoodie I wore was grey!

52 One thing I wish I could change about myself is I wish I didn’t have so much weight. It’s not fun trying to navigate the world as an afab nonbinary person with people telling you it’s “just because you don’t like your body”.

54 My favorite store is Walmart for groceries (broke college students holla) and Torrid for clothes! (They have cuter stuff than anywhere else, and carry my size always)

56 My favorite color is Blue! Kind of a dark sky blue, like sky blue 3 or 4

58 I just had some Hershey’s candy drops as the last thing I ate!

60 In fourth and fifth grade I won two school writing competitions and got a trophy for it 😌 I wrote about the Titanic (thank you special interest)!

62 I have never been arrested, and I’m not planning on it any time soon lol

64 My first kiss was a dare and I hated every second of it cause the guy was an ass about it until it happened (he’d been badgering me for weeks)

66 Uhh I’m gonna be honest and say no? As much as I love my tumblr friends (ayy hi guys) I’ve known my friends in real life for longer and those bonds are just, amazing and so strong.

68 Tumblr > Twitter, any day.

70 my best friends’ names are: Emili, Autumn, Maggie, and Erin

72 My towels are grey

74 I have many stuffed animals- uh probably seven or eight.

76 Not answering this one lmao

78 My favorote ice cream clavor is Graham Central Station from this place called Bruster’s! It’s really good.

80 I am wearing blue pajama pants because ~comfy~

82 My favorite movie is Coraline! I watch it repeatedly

84 Mean Girls > 21 Jump Street

86 Nemo is my favorite character from Finding Nemo!

88 The last person I talked to today was my roommate

90 I love my baby brother Reid!

92 I am not currently in a fight with anyone.

94 I own three sweaters/hoodies- I need to get more!

96 My favorote actress is and always will be Kiera Knightley.

98 I do not tan a lot- naturally or artificially. I just burn #whitepeopleproblems

100 I am feeling *tired*. A bitch is exhausted today

102 I regret everything from my past

104 I don’t tend to miss people that much? I’m not good with emotional connections to people that last after they’re gone.

106 I feel like I’ve broken my mother’s heart- for coming out, for rebelling, etc.

108 I should be working on homework but I am not.

110 I have indeed liked someone so much it hurt- in the sense that liking them was not good for me and led to a lot of heartache.

112 The last person I cried in front of was my parents, and it was not on purpose lmao

114 I’ve been out of my state lots- Florida, South and North Carolina, West Virgina, Delaware, Massachusetts.

116 Nope, not currently listening to music.

118 I fuckin LOVE chinese food

120 I used to be afraid of the dark, not anymore. I love it now.

122 Cheating is NEVER okay.

124 I do not believe in love at first sight- I barely believe in love 🤷🏼

126 I am indeed currently bored

128 I would love to change my name- legally and personally. I’m not sure “Ryn” is suitable anymore

130 I don’t like subway. Not a fan of sub sandwiches

132 The last person I had a deep conversation with is my roommate

134 Pfft, no. I can’t count to one million my brain wouldn’t focus that long

136 Due to the fact I live in a community dorm hall, I sleep with my door closed and ~locked~

138 Straight hair

140 Winter > Summer

142 My favorite month is October! Atlanta Pride, my birthday, and Halloween! Plus it starts getting colder!

144 Dark>Milk>White chocolate, in that order

146 Since it’s now morning, yes today has been a good day so far

148 My favorite quote is anything that has to do with being a decent fucking human being

150 The first line of the page is “You were right”.

[lnhumanity]

an agents of shield playlist in chronological order from pre-series, up until the end of season 6 / beginning of season 7.

listen to it here!

song explanations under the cut. warning that its very long, i have a lot of thoughts

01. Two Birds - Regina Spektor

Two birds on a wire / One tries to fly away / And the other watches him close from that wire / He says he wants to as well / But he is a liar

Relating both to May & Coulson after Bahrain, with Coulson trying to help May return to the field, but May refusing, and FitzSimmons immediately pre-season, with Simmons excitement about going into the field contrasted to Fitz’s hesitance, but over-all desire to stay with her.

02. Small - Chloe Moriondo

And I'm suddenly not interested in / whatever the rest of the world has to offer so / I drown facedown in my head and feel my state start to alter cause / You / Because you

After FZZT, Fitz realising that he has romantic feelings towards Simmons.

03. Saturn - Sleeping At Last

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite / How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

FitzSimmons in the med pod under the ocean, with Simmons talking about the first law of thermodynamics.

04. Evaporate - Gabrielle Aplin

Flesh and bone wrapped up in skin / Kept alive by oxygen / But right now breathing is so tough

During the S1/2 hiatus, Fitz starting his recovery and relying on Simmons, while Simmons suffers from PTSD and decides to leave due to her guilt.

05. Waves - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes I feel like I wanna go back / To a time before my mind turned black / I miss the way it was / When instead of just my gooey brains / All that melted was popsicles and the rain just pelted down / Down on me

Fitz coping with his brain injury after Simmons left.

06. Anybody Out There - Gabrielle Aplin

You never told me why you had to leave / I always thought that you'd come back for me / I'm tired of getting people's sympathy / I know I'd make it back eventually

Fitz coping with Simmons leaving.

07. Hiding In Your Hands - Dear Evan Hansen

Look at her, a total trainwreck / Let her off this ride / Lift her out from all the pain / She tells herself she needs to hide

Simmons after the med pod, hiding her trauma in her music box and convincing others that she’s fine.

08. Just Add Water - Cavetown

Please don't invite me, please don't invite me / I wanna be alone, I wanna be alone / And don't remind me, please don't remind me / I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know

Fitz isolating himself from the rest of the team at the beginning of S2.

09. King and Lionheart - Of Monsters And Men

And in the sea that's painted black / Creatures lurk below the deck / But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart

Coulson leading SHIELD as the new director, while May supports him in the field.

10. New River - The Oh Hellos

Well, it'll rain for forty days and nights, / and nothing you do can slow the rising tides / But the river takes her shape from every tempest she abides / And like her, you'll be made new again

Raina and Daisy undergoing terrigenesis, and later being accepted into Afterlife.

11. Earth - Sleeping At Last

Fault lines tremble underneath our glass house / But I put it out of my mind / Long enough to call it courage / To live without a lifeline

Daisy becoming an Inhuman, contrasted with May during and after Bahrain. (So, basically, the episode ‘Melinda’).

12. Wolf - First Aid Kit

Wolf-father, at the door / You don't smile anymore / You're a drifter, shape-shifter / Let me see you run, hey-ya hey-ya

May & Coulson dealing with Gonzalez’s SHIELD while Daisy is hiding from SHIELD at Afterlife.

13. Storm Song - PHILDEL

I'll send a storm / to capture your heart / and bring you home.

FitzSimmons during their countless separations, but specifically put this early in the playlist for Maveth, and Fitz searching for Simmons during the S2/3 hiatus.

14. Spaceland - Chloe Moriondo

Sometimes overthinking can feel like more than overthinking / It's like I'm trapped in spaceland and I'm not coming back

Simmons trapped on Maveth, reflecting on everything that’s happened.

15. Neptune - Sleeping At Last

I'm only honest when it rains / If I time it right, the thunder breaks / When I open my mouth / I wanna tell you but I don't know how

Simmons after returning from Maveth, before she tells Fitz about Will.

16. Yellow Light - Of Monsters And Men

Somewhere deep in the dark / A howling beast hears us talk

Simmons on Maveth with Will.

17. The Currents - Bastille

We're living in the currents you create / We're sinking in the pool of your mistakes / So stub it out, your podium awaits

The team with regards to Ward about all of the tragedies that he’s caused, the impact he’s had on them, and their impending doom with him bringing Hive to Earth.

18. Bad Bad Things - AJJ

And I got to thinking / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go to Heaven / Might go to Heaven, but probably not

Ward killing Roz, torturing Simmons, and dying on Maveth.

19. Blame - Bastille

Fall upon your knees saying / "This is my body and soul here" / Fall and begging, pleading / "You've got the power and control"

Hive and his control over Inhumans.

20. The Last Time - The Script

Why's it so hard to look me in the eye? / Playing with that cross that's on your chain / I know you only ever bite your lip / When it's something you're afraid to say

Lincoln’s sacrifice.

21. Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron

I took a little journey to the unknown / And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones / I fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see / Now the darkness got a hold on me / Holy darkness got a hold on me

Daisy after being released from Hive’s sway, and dealing with the fallout of Lincoln’s sacrifice.

22. ¿Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl) - Green Day

Little girl, little girl, why are you crying? / Inside your restless soul your heart is dying

Daisy during the S3/4 hiatus, running away from SHIELD.

23. Pluto - Sleeping At Last

Until one day I had enough / Of this exercise of trust. / I leaned in and let it hurt, / And let my body feel the dirt.

Daisy returning to SHIELD.

24. The Steven Bradley - Ghost Bear

My, oh my / you look as good as the day you died! / Oh, who am I kidding? / You look even more alive!

Radcliffe stealing the Darkhold and putting the dying Agnes into the Framework.

25. We Forgot We Were Human - Dirt Poor Robins

So tell me, what do we need with the sun? / Now we have an electric one / To melt every shadow away / Turn the night into day

AIDA and the other LMDs concluding that physical bodies don’t matter when someone’s consciousness has been uploaded into the Framework.

26. Squares - Stepdad

Thinking happy thoughts will fix it oh-no no-no oh-oh uh-oh / Where did I go wrong I guess I don't know whoa-oh uh-oh oh-oh / I'll just go on kidding myself and everything will work itself out

Radcliffe in the Framework, realising the mistakes that he’s made but being unable to do anything about it.

27. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control - Tame Impala

Nothing that has happened so far / Has been anything we could control

Daisy and Simmons fighting back against the LMDs and entering the Framework.

28. Turn The Lights Off - Tally Hall

Everybody likes to get taken for turns / To see how bright the fire inside of us burns / And everybody wants to get evil tonight / But all good devils masquerade under the light

Daisy and Simmons finding out that HYDRA are in control inside the Framework, and seeing what May and Fitz had turned into.

29. Willow Tree March - The Paper Kites

And we all still die / Yeah we all still die / What will you leave behind? / Oh we all still die

Agnes, Mace, Hope and Radcliffe’s deaths, and their impacts on the team.

30. Cabinet Man - Lemon Demon

You can't win me, I can't be beat / I won't hurt you unless you cheat / You can't see me behind the screen / I'm half human and half machine

AIDA becoming a human, and fighting back using her new Inhuman powers, ending with her being killed by the Spirit of Vengeance.

31. Lethargy - Bastille

There's an English man up in space these days / Floating in awe and wonder / As he broke away from the atmosphere / And all of us non-believers

The team arriving at the future Lighthouse, and meeting Deke.

32. Warmth Outro - Bastille

Never good, still the bad and the ugly / Laid in front of us / Clearly we've learned nothing at all / From the TV's window

The remainder of the team during the loop, where they failed to save the Earth.

33. Cutie Boots - Stepdad

I wanna hold you til' it feels like it's been long enough to stop saying I miss you, stop saying I miss you

FitzSimmons reunion in the future Lighthouse.

34. Venus - Sleeping At Last

After a while, I thought I'd never find you. / I convinced myself that I would never find you, / When suddenly I saw you.

FitzSimmons wedding.

35. Stagnant - Chloe Moriondo

I don't know why I'm mean to everyone I love / It's hard to try to communicate / With darkness inside my head / Filling my lungs

Fitz, leading up to his breakdown.

36. The Driver - Bastille

There was a time when a moment like this / Wouldn't ever cross my mind / The sun will rise with my name on your lips / 'Cause everything will change tonight

The Devil Complex.

37. A Dark Design - Among Savages

Oh, there is not a God in heaven that wants to see us fighting this way / Oh, He spoke more about loving than people trying to make people change

The team fighting during S5.

38. Shame - Bastille

I can see a change / I can see a change in you / I see it coursing through your veins / And it is a shame / It is a shame on you / I barely recognize your face

The team continuing to fight - especially Daisy towards Fitz, and Daisy and Yo-Yo after Yo-Yo kills Ruby.

39. Terrified - Among Savages

Cause I'm terrified and I'm ruined by this mess / Cause I needed you more than I needed what was best

FitzSimmons refusing to let each other die & fixing the Gravitonium machine.

40. Icarus - Bastille

Icarus is flying too close to the sun / And Icarus's life, it has only just begun / This is how it feels to take a fall / Icarus is flying towards an early grave

Fitz during S5.

41. Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival

I see a bad moon a-rising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin' / I see bad times today

The final battle between Daisy and Graviton.

42. A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosiers

Turn back the time that drew him / But he couldn't be saved / No he couldn't be saved / A sadness runs through him

Fitz’s death.

43. Carry On - fun.

Woah, my head is on fire but my legs are fine / After all, they are mine

The aftermath of the battle.

44. Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you / And we'll live a long life

Coulson’s retirement party.

45. Good Grief - Bastille

Every minute and every hour / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more / Every stumble and each misfire / I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more

Daisy and May’s reaction to Coulson’s death, and Simmons’s reaction to Fitz’s death.

46. Tic Toc - Mother Mother

Big hand, little hand, no hand, slow hand / Sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hour glass / And I throw these grains of sand into the wind and laugh / And I do not care just what they'll have to say about that

Simmons realising that there’s another Fitz out there, and her determination to bring him home.

47. Happier - Marshmello

Then only for a minute / I want to change my mind / 'Cause this just don't feel right to me / I want to raise your spirits / I want to see you smile but / Know that means I'll have to leave

Yo-Yo and Mack’s break up during the S5/6 hiatus.

48. Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men

Some hid scars and some hid scratches / It made me wonder about their past / And as I looked around, I began to notice / That we were nothing like the rest

The Zephyr team searching for Fitz, while Fitz and Enoch try to get to Naro-Atzia, during the S5/6 hiatus.

49. The World Ender - Lord Huron

I had a life and a place in the world / I had a sweet talkin' wife and a beautiful girl / I know I'm never gonna see 'em again / Gonna tear the world up until I have my revenge

Sarge hunting for Izel.

50. Spaceman - The Killers

The star maker says, it ain't so bad / The dream maker's going make you mad / The spaceman says, everybody look down / It's all in your mind

S6 as a whole, starting with Fitz in space, and ending with Simmons taking the team to the future, including Izel’s body hopping and Davis’s death.

51. Smile - Mikky Ekko

Smile, the worst is yet to come / We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun / Got nowhere to go, we could be here for a while / But the future is forgiven so smile

The team heading off to stop the Chronicom and save their future.

[the-trth-untold]

now its ur turn. do all of the sweetheart asks.

god jsjsjhdjk im just letting u kno these answers r gonna be BORING but hhhh THANK U 

1. Talk about your first love.

i’ve never been in love, never been in a relationship before. BUT i can vaguely remember my first crush back in 2nd grade. all i can remember was that his name was kyle and he was the only boy who ever spoke to me and my brain just went !!! 

2. What’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS or What Was Our Love All About - Adrian Milanio and Marylou Villegas 

these are just two that i can think of there are A LOT of beautiful songs

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

fine??

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

i dont really do any self care things?? 

5. What’s your skincare routine?

i dont do any skincare routines either... ik im a monster

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

u must be blind if u think that 

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

i used to have over 50 stuffed animals, i would always place them all over my bed neatly but i got rid of them now :( 

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

Myrtle Beach, SC because it was my first vacation spot and i was so happy seeing two dolphins close to the shore

9. Favorite thing about your room?

the color of my walls and blankets lol mint green and peach colors

i dont have anything cool in my room

10. Opinion on love?

i mean, it’d be nice to experience it some day and i hope i do but right now im content being by myself

11. Are you affectionate?

if i know you very well i can be, if not im very awkward and will barely make any eye contact with you

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to people who have struggled a lot in their life, people who can be optimistic in any situation

13. Favorite poet?

i dont read much poetry, but i loved reading some things Emily Dickinson has published

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

honestly any disney song makes me happy! im a huge disney nerd and listening to any of those songs makes me feel nostalgic.

when im in a bad place, any slow, ballad sounding song can calm me down

15. Do you play an instrument?

i played the flute in middle school but dropped it after less than a week LOL

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i like doing digital art but im not good at it and i dont have adobe illustrator anymore so i haven’t done anything recently

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i cannot dance and no one will make me

IM TOO EMBARRASSED EVEN IF IM ALONE HAHAHA

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra

i somewhat believe in astrology, i know there’s more to it than just your sun sign and there are different placements that make you different from the stereotypical traits people use for each sign

a lot of the “things about each sign” can be used for anyone because the responses can be very vague and many people can relate to 

19. Favorite old film?

too many

the shining, the breakfast club, carrie, pretty in pink, etcetcetc

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk its a mess

curly/wavy and i have hardcut bangs 

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

fall weather, where its like 50 F (or 10 C for all u weirdos out there), cold enough to put on a flannel and boots

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them. (IM SORRY THIS WAS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT ITS SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND I RELATE)

23. Are you in love right now?

no

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

i dont have a crush lol

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

yes!!! i have two gorgeous puppies!!! if u wanna check them out u can follow my instagram i post them all the time @ the.moon.atomic

they’re such dorks but they fit my household idk how to describe it they just belong in my house hahha

26. Do you have a lucky number?

i dont really believe in lucky numbers 

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

no, and i never heard about wishing on a fallen eyelash haha

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

no???????? i dont even know what that is

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

no

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

when people finally stop hiding their true selves, show their real smiles, and laugh so hard they snort 

idk i just love people, well, most anyway sjsjhzjdsk

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

love them 

theyre such pure colors and they just remind me of newborn babies hahaha

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano definitely

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

yes! yes to both! i love rain more though, sorry wind

34. Who makes you happy?

my friends, family, and my mutuals 

35. What makes you happy?

listening to music

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

ohh well i’d be living on germany for starters hahaha

id like to have my own house, maybe living with a best friend

definitely like 5784538902 cats and dogs, i love them 

at some point id like to have a relationship LOL

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup? 

only on rare days ill put on makeup, i only use eyeshadow, liner, and mascara and ive never gone to a store thats just for make up, i just go to a pharmacy lol

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

only if i absolutely have to, the dress i wore for my senior pictures is my favorite

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

noo, ive never been in a relationship 

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

i kinda really dont have one, not irl anyway

@neo-bangtan @mini-pretzel are my closest friends online, i love everything about u guys

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

im isfj

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

uh idk?? i wouldnt want to be immortal so 

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

acid jazz singer - the fratellis 

45. Parlez-vous français?

no my french sucks

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

honestly i cant think of any place pennsylvania sucks ahhaha

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

home...... my bed...... LOL

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

only if im not looking at myself lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

slip ons or my new balance 

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

N O i am so accident prone i can barely walk barefoot without tripping 

51. Do you feel loved?

kinda? sometimes?

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

just giving them a hug lol or saying i love you

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

no ones ever called me any but i like baby, im a simple girl 

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

nothing?

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

meeting new people who share the same interests 

56. Are you happy right now?

im pretty neutral atm

57. What makes you smile?

really awful jokes that ARENT EVEN FUNNY AND TALKING DASHA AND KARINA 

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i guess??

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

soft vibes i guess haha

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i dont see myself marrying but if i would it would definitely be for love

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

i dont really want to get married, most of the time it ends in divorce and theres just a lot of paper work and its a hassle i dont see a point in it 

62. Favorite flower?

hydrangeas 

63. Favorite artist?

edgar degas

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

i try to be kind to everyone, i dont know if others perceive me that way but i think kindness is very important to me

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

once and i loved it, pls ask me to make a playlist for u

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music and a soft blanket 

68. Early bird or night owl?

early bird

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed. (AGAIN THIS IS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT HHAHAHAHA)

70. Night routine?

shower and watch netflix until i fall asleep

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

being humble

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

yes yes and yes

im such a cry baby i will cry at everything if u yell at me or if disappoint u im so sensitive 

73. Do you like hugs?

yes but i dont receive many hugs

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

never

75. Are you small or tall?

small, 5′4 or 164cm

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

who doesnt

77. Favorite thing about the past?

anything that makes me feel nostalgic 

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

yes

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

nooo

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

ive never been on a plane

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

82. The beach or a forest?

beach

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

when im sleeping lol

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

i try to 

85. Favorite kind of tree?

what kind of question is this i dont know anything about trees

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i want to but i dont do anything for it

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

fieldtrips in school

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

i try to read more, my favorite book is more happy than not 

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

disney, i just put my christmas tree down and the ornaments are disney characters

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

honesty i guess?

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

my eyes

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after i bathe 

93. Do you worry a lot?

yes all the time

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

no 

96. Favorite pastry?

??????????? i dont know??????????

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

YEAH

98. How’s your day/night going?

fine so far, i dont have to work today so im just chillaxing 

[cumulohimbus]

100 things I want to do in my lifetime

So, I had a really good conversation today with friends, and I opened up briefly about my stay in a psych ward a few years ago. It came up because I am acutely aware that I haven't been doing well, and am scared to return to a situation anything like my previous stay at said ward despite knowing that being hospitalized would probably be very beneficial at this time in my life. Talking about it did make me remember something though, something that gave me a lot of hope. While my experience with a psych ward was overwhelmingly negative, there was a part of treatment that really got through to me at the time. It especially helped with my suicidal ideation, which is something that's been really problematic for me again lately. Since I remembered it, I'm going to revisit the exercise, and I encourage anyone and everyone who also struggles with suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self harm, mental health issues, or even if you're just having a bad day, to give this a try. It's simple. Make a list of 100 things you want to do in your life. They can be as realistic or unrealistic as you want them to be. They can be big, long-term goals, or small, silly goals, and everything in between. The only rules are to write 100 things, and to avoid sarcastic or pessimistic things like saying one of your goals is to die or something like that. Save the list! Then someday you can go back and cross off things that you've accomplished or edit as you see necessary. Without further ado, here is my list:

1. I want to get my name legally changed to Larkspur Emmett so my dead name is no more

2. I want to get top surgery

3. I want to rekindle relationships within my family, especially with my cousins

4. I want to get scuba certified

5. I want to dive over the "sunken island" location on the lake my family had a cabin on that I visited frequently while growing up

6. I want to go diving in general, seeing a coral reef in person is an especially huge dream of mine

7. I want to rekindle my knowledge of the Spanish language and eventually become fluent

8. I want to continue learning American Sign Language

9. I want to learn more about my ancestry; I know I'm a vast mix of probably mostly European blood, but my family comes from so many different places and I'd like to know more about them

10. I want to finish the art commission I started for my close friend

11. I want to travel to places like Costa Rica, Japan, Chile, and Australia

12. I want to go on exotic travel adventures with a future romantic partner or close friend

13. I want to get my Bachelor's degree

14. I want to earn enough money to live comfortably, probably with pets

15. I want to adopt a pembroke welsh corgi

16. I want to beat my eating disorder(s) for good and be able to stop taking medication to help if at all possible

17. I want to go ziplining

18. I want to go skydiving

19. I want to hike through the Monteverde biological cloud forest reserve in Costa Rica

20. I want to develop a drag persona and perform as my persona on a regular basis

21. I want to make a fursuit (yes I said it, fite me)

22. I want to finish an entire animated music video

23. I want to learn more about plants and successfully keep one alive for longer than a year

24. I want to try my hand at raising an ant colony

25. I want to go swimming more often

26. I want to learn more martial arts

27. I want to learn to be a leader in my community

28. I want to work harder in my college classes

29. I want to learn to not fear loneliness and abandonment, and to appreciate my alone time

30. I want to get (many) more self-designed tattoos

31. I want to continue learning how to appreciate my body without caring about other people's opinions on what is considered "attractive"

32. I want to eat more whole foods both because they're healthy for me and taste far better than anything with chemicals in it

33. I want to meet a few famous people in person, can't think of many off the top of my head though, but I know there are a couple

34. I want to take dance classes again

35. I want to learn how to play a musical instrument (I mean, I took 7 years of piano and can kinda read music, but I wanna learn an instrument that's better suited for short fingers lolol, maybe french horn?)

36. I want to finish the paintings I've started

37. I want to learn how to digitally render things realistically

38. I want to finish the fanfiction piece I started a couple years ago

39. I want to become more patient and less envious

40. I want to heccing fly, okay?

41. I want to feel like relaxation is deserved and expected, and not a luxury only for those who can afford it

42. I want to reassemble an animal skeleton

43. I want to dig up a fossil (specifically of some sort of mesozoic creature, that'd be so cool)

44. I want to get back to using my planner

45. I want to play more (board, card, video, etc.) games with my friends

46. I want to disassociate less and be present in the real world more often

47. I want to be more informed about what is going on both in general, but especially in my more immediate environment

48. I want to take up better drawing habits (more life drawing, warm ups, breaks, etc.)

49. I want to try a real goddamn piña colada, bonus points if it's on the beach

50. I want to try existing in a portable living situation, like a renovated bus or van, for a while

51. I want to learn basic wilderness survival skills

52. I want to learn how to identify many different species of all types of organisms, especially plants and animals

53. I want to get my vehicle fixed up nice and maybe hand paint some things on it

54. I want to learn more about different cultures because they're fascinating and I want to be as respectful of all people as I possibly can be

55. I want to paint the waterfall jungle mural of my dreams in my future house

56. I want to gain better control of my emotions and my responses to them

57. I want to fabricate a working pair of wings for human beings

58. I want to learn/do more embroidery

59. I want to get a cerulean blue Corvette stingray

60. I want to get better about not procrastinating

61. I want to go to more events/be more involved wherever I am

62. I want to go for more walks to places I haven't been to before, bonus points if it's in the middle of the night and/or in the rain

63. I want to do things like play in inflatable obstacle courses and ride on roller coasters without caring about whether other people judge me for doing those things as an adult

64. I want to regain the physical strength I have lost from being sedentary while my mental health has been at its lowest

65. I want to spend more time laying in the sunshine, preferably with the bare minimum of clothes on because I enjoy the warmth on my skin

66. I want to cuddle more with others that feel comfortable enough to participate in that with me

67. I want to learn more about the fabrication of clothing and design/make some outfits for myself

68. I want to cosplay, maybe go to a convention sometime

69. I want to go skinny dipping >:3 (look, it's number 69 on the list, okay?)

70. I want to try all sorts of foods I've never had before

71. I want to see a butterfly leaving its cocoon in real life again

72. I want to read more of the books I own

73. I want to be kissed by someone again...it's been over 4 years...

74. I want to eliminate my habit of requiring a Youtube gaming playlist to be playing in order for me to fall asleep

75. I want to learn more about the history of the lgbtqia2s+ community

76. I want to learn how to cook for myself better, and like, actually use those skills on a regular basis

77. I want to learn how to take care of my vehicle better on my own, like how to change a tire and such

78. I want to learn to communicate better, and just, in general how to be the best friend I can be

79. I want to stop using all substances for the purpose of drowning out my surroundings and messing with my temporal senses, if I'm going to drink/smoke/get high/whatever, I want it to be because I want to for fun, not because I want the chemicals to take the edge off my mental illness(es)

80. I want to start taking better care of my dental hygiene

81. I want to learn more about my legal rights and finances and other "adult" stuff that doesn't really get taught to you unless you specifically go looking for it

82. You know the somewhat obnoxious game Bop It? Yeah, I want one of those again, keeps me entertained for a long time

83. I want to design more things in general, more characters and their outfits and personalities and the worlds they live in, I enjoy that

84. I want to spend more time outdoors with my friends, watch sunsets and collect miscellaneous objects from the universe and such

85. I want to teach someone something, sit down and maybe teach someone how I draw or about something that I am at least somewhat knowledgeable about

86. I want to go to more aquariums; if/when I travel more I want to go to every aquarium I come across

87. I want to start a legit collection of something and like, build it up over a long period of time so it gets pretty impressive

88. I want to get my eyes surgically corrected so I don't have to wear glasses or fiddle with contacts

89. I want to learn more about Greek and Latin roots and just words and symbolism in general

90. I want to lose the embarrassment I have about my hyperfixations because I deserve to not feel ashamed of the things that bring me satisfaction and joy, and it's okay if other people don't share my enthusiasm about such things, I just want to learn to not be embarrassed that I like stuff

91. I want to get over my fears/discomfort re: nudity, especially for life drawing classes; see, it's one thing to see someone nude and divert my eyes but for life drawing I'm kinda forced to look...

92. I want to understand myself better and learn to love me instead of the opposite; I want to be full of love for the beautiful people around me and I want to really solidify in my brain that I am one of those beautiful people

93. I want to do more things for others that are meaningful because that makes me happy, and I want to learn to do those things while also respecting everyone's, including my own, boundaries

94. I want to develop a sleep schedule that is healthy and appropriate, and that I'm able to maintain

95. I want to run in the rain more often and jump in puddles (edit: while typing this it started storming out and I had to run outside in my bunny pajama short-shorts, winter boots, and a sweatshirt, to grab my box of silly plant seed experiments before they blew away, so progress is already being made)

96. I want to get over my intense fear of making phone calls

97. I want to learn how to sing better with my new and improved deeper voice from being on Testosterone

98. I want to get my first tattoo fixed up and hopefully renew the meaning it had to me at the time that I got it -- I want to try to keep that promise

99. I want to spend more time actively working on improving my mental health

100. I want to see more, I want to learn more, I want to do more, I want to be the version of myself that is genuinely amazed and curious by all manner of things, and I know that part of me is still there

And now, once you've finished your list, you have 100 reasons to not give up, because there's no way of knowing what you're capable of doing if you don't exist to try.

[wereverine]

combining these because one of y’all absolute mad lads wanted me to do the whole thing,, these are from the unusual asks (found here) now on to the questions !!!

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

~ tbh yeah,, like I wanna be the person I am on the inside,, I want my outsides to mirror my insides and just let everyone know who I am no hiding or making excuses any more,, I want people to look at me and be inspired to be themselves,, to love themselves,, and to just love me (if that’s the kind of relationship that specific person has with me)

2: What is your full name?

~ Nikita “Magnus” Nickerson (Magnus is a placeholder middle name for now,, I like it but also I think I might wanna change it to something else I dunno yet)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

~ I’m 19 currently and I get mistaken for either 16 or 21/22 with no in between

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

~ finally I can answer yes to a question like this !!! it was semi-perm but omg I dyed it teal and my mom’s gonna let me do a mystery color sometime soon (it’s a surprise what color :3)

5: What’s your eye color?

~ deep brown,, like deeeeeppppp brown omg ppl used to make fun of me because I had “black,, demon eyes” and I was really good at staring contests when I was younger

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it?

~ honestly it varies sometimes I’m super indifferent to the body I have and other times I’m super insecure and want to get rid of my body,, but I am doing better about it and I’m glad my body gets me from place to place

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

~ I don’t currently have any tattoos (but watch tf out when I have money I have So many planned lol) and I’ve had my earlobes pierced since I was 6 months old and I’m planning to get some more piercings

8: What would you say is your best quality?

~ my ability to be there for ppl when they really need it,, like I drop stuff so quick when ppl indicate they need me

9: What are you really bad at?

~ math,, expressing my feelings,, talking about my feelings,, letting myself feel my feelings,, taking time for myself BEFORE I break down,, working myself into a breakdown,, asking for help

10: What talent do you wish you had?

~ honestly I wish I had the talent to actually know when to stop blaming myself

11: Are you nice to everyone?

~ nope,, but I try to be as polite as possible,, and I’ve gotten better about being nicer to people

12: What do you think about the most?

~ I mainly think about missed opportunities and how to let my friends know I care about them deeply and love them without weirding them out

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself?

~ hoo boy I’m gonna limit this to 3 things each otherwise we’d be here all day; likes: ability to listen,, creative,, intuitive; dislikes: bottling up emotions,, stubborn,, low self-esteem

14: What is your least favorite word?

~ moist

15: What is your favorite word?

~ petrichor

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

~ tbh,, I’m a fairly even mix,, but a lot of times I don’t act like either one of them

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

~ honestly,, I do that weird lil half smile that ppl get when another person is looking at them to do something lol

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone?

~ to stay out of trouble

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

~ the only thing I’m lying about is my emotional state when ppl ask how I’m doing

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

~ romantically? nah,, but platonically? definitely

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

~ not really,, not for me at least

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

~ of a sort,, like there are just some people that you vibe with in a very special way and it’s not always romantic either

23: Are looks important?

~ to me,, looks aren’t the most important thing,, I feel like personality goes beyond looks and can even enhance how your brain sees people

24: Opinion on relationship age differences?

~ after a certain amount of years I don’t particularly agree with them,, like if you have a 20+ year age gap I don’t really get it,, like if the ppl get together when one is like 20 and the other is like 40,, there’s such a gap in the understanding the 2 (or more) ppl will have,, but also it’s not my life and not really my business what grown adults do

25: Would you date someone off the internet?

~ I’d be willing to try but tbh it’s hard enough trying to date someone you met in person

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

~ yes,, many times

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

~ yeah,, I had a crush on one of my friends while they were in a relationship and I felt so Bad,, like I didn’t want to ruin their relationship or lose their friendship so I just kept my mouth shut lol

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

~ not really,, I’ve either given up on them a while ago or I still have a small shred of hope

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

~ not really ??? (unless they just didn’t tell me lmao)

30: Have you ever like your best friend?

~ actually yeah I have skskdddkdk

31: How does someone win your heart?

~ honestly,, I get crushes ridiculously easy if you’re nice to me for a while and show affection in an exuberant way,, and that typically deepens until one day I’m sitting there looking at that person when they’re telling me something they are So excited over and they have stars in their eyes and my face goes soft and I look at them like they hung the sun,, moon,, and stars just for me and it hits me like a freight train that I might just love this person and it doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually,, I just feel for people I’m close to very deeply and it might be pathetically easy to win my heart but goddamnit I’m soft and love a lot ❤❤

32: What turns you on?

~ a lot of different things actually,, like sometimes if the person I like is physically bigger than me and they need me to stand or sit a certain way and they position me just the way they need,, that’s umm,, Hot af,, although I act mad at the manhandling lol,, and oh god if they’re Big and they pin me with an intense stare and like loom over me (maybe with me against the wall aksksk 😍),, also my neck is like Very sensitive like to the point that if you lightly blow against it I full body shudder,, y’all don’t know how distracting it is when your crush is hugging you and telling you something important but you can’t listen because every word is a puff of air against your neck so you just close your eyes and hope to god your subconscious is actually retaining the info (oh god I just had a Thought,, if someone pinned me to the wall by my throat and then kissed me breathless while pressing close enough my gasping brushes our chests together and then kissed my neck with either tenderness or ferocity I’d probably fucking self combust on the spot),, to go along with that I Love Love Love neck kisses so much (y’all probably know too much about that by now lol),, y’all I’m just really into mouths,, lips,, teeth,, tongues are all just very top teir,, oh fuck,, flexing muscles get to me so much,, like cross your arms in front of me and I won’t look at your eyes because mine will be glued to those fucking arms,, god fuck thigh riding is the dream here 😍😍,, okay I’m gonna stop myself here but it’s easy to turn me on sometimes and hard other times (that greyasexual life)

33: What turns you off?

~ okay let me honest here,, as much as I like tongues and all they can do ;),, I don’t really enjoy french kissing (maybe that’s my last ex’s fault,, his kisses were just so Wet) like I much prefer those open-mouthed kisses with minimal tongue,, and people who are rude and assholes for no reason are like huge turn-offs no matter how attractive they are,, also I hate those people who like desperately want to be doms but they just become like overbearing,, lowkey abusive,, and highly annoying,, tbh most of this list is gonna be shit my ex did because it was all so Unsexy in hindsight

34: Do you get jealous easily?

~ imo not really,, like I might be jealous after a while if the person like after telling me that we would be spending time together alone and they didn’t really follow through like bringing another person along and focusing on them the whole time or focusing on a stranger overly much but I don’t really like feeling jealous because I don’t like forcing myself on people if it seems they are happier doing what they’re doing and I can’t control people only myself so I typically try and redirect any jealous thoughts,, if its like a constant thing tho I’d definitely talk to that person

35: What is your definition of cheating?

~ well for starters,, I don’t consider hugging other people or spending time with them cheating,, I guess I would define cheating for me personally is if the person knowingly hides a deep emotional/physical relationship with another person,, like say I was dating a person and then I found out they were spilling their fears and dreams with another person and telling me nothing or barely anything I’d be a little upset,, but also you can’t expect your s/o to talk to you and only you,, everybody needs and deserves a support system,, or if I found out they were having sex or taking another person out on dates without my knowledge,, like if they just talked to me and explained everything before they started anything they might find I’m open to accommodating them

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

~ for me,, this varies from person to person,, but there comes a point no matter the person that I will drop their ass (that’s what I get for having 7 earth signs with 5 of them being Taurus in my birth chart)

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

~ yes

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

~ to my knowledge,, no,, but everyone has different definitions of cheating,, but I abhor cheating so like god I hope not

39: How often do you listen to music?

~ every fucking day,, mainly all day every day no joke,, I spent my entire senior year of hs with at least one headphone in blasting music to keep myself calm (I’m baby from baby driver essentially),, music is everything to me truly

40: First concert you attended?

~ the first concert I ever attended was a Goody Grace concert (y’all check my boy out I love him) it was lovely and it really woke something up in me in regards to frantically trying to plan visits to concerts now lol

41: Last movie you watched?

~ honestly,, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched at least one movie after this one,, but the last movie I remember watching is Aquaman a few weeks ago

42: Favorite type of movie?

~ Action/Adventure or Sci-Fi

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

~ I went through a period of self-harm for 9 years and I still struggle with craving those feelings a lot and when I relapse I feel like shit,, I’m better about talking about it through like texts or whatever it’s really hard for me to talk about it out loud,, I get really fucking choked up and kinda teary sometimes

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

~ for the most part,, yeah,, I’ve bottled up my feelings and problems for so long I’ve gotten quite good at not showing everything I’m feeling,, but lately,, I’ve been trying to go against that and show what I’m feeling when around people that care for me

45: Do you fall in love easily?

~ love? I don’t know about that but I get infatuated really easily,, I have a hard time identifying love and how it feels to me so I don’t realize I love someone until it smacks me in the face

46: Do you think people say “I love you” too much?

~ fuck no,, say I love you to the people you love damnit !!! I say I love you to my friends AND my family,, like omg sometimes I have to just shut up because I’m bursting with love for people,, and if I’m drunk I say I love you like every five seconds ❤😍😘

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

~ very basic of me,, but Halloween/All Hallow’s Eve,, it’s really one of the only widely celebrated holidays I like

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

~ this depends on what the person is asking for forgiveness for,, but there comes a point where nothing they say or do could possibly get me to forgive them,, like sometimes you just have cut ppl off

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

~ (disney land/world ??? I’m jk lol) on god,, it’s sitting with someone you vibe with and sharing bits and pieces of your souls between each other (and if that devolves into being wrapped up in each other until the stars come out then that’s magical babey 😍)

50: What’s your “type”?

~ nice,, funny,, passionate,, ??? it’s surprisingly hard to put into words,, rest assured I intimately know I do have a type,, it’s just very broad lol

Okay,, that’s the 50 questions !!! thank you darlin’ much for asking me to do this lol,, sorry it took me a while,, love you ❤❤ !!!

[mrsevans1328]

215 Cute Prompt List

Please feel free to submit a request and reblog. Just some basic rules:

1) This list is purely for fluff blurbs/imagines. I am working on a different list for smut prompts/blurbs etc. So please do not request any smut from this list, thank you

2) Pick a prompt (obviously), and a character from the list below :

Shawn Mendes - Dylan O’Brien/Stiles Stilinski - any Teen Wolf character or their respective actor/actress - Tom Holland/Peter Parker

3) Please do not request a prompt that I have already written or am in the process of writing. Finished prompts will have a “ ** “ by it, works in progress will have “ ~ “ by it, followed by who the character in the blurb is. Only reason for this is there are over 200 prompts available to choose from. Once the list gets fuller, I will make repeats available.

***Note: I did not come up with these prompts on my own!! I do not claim ownership for any of these prompts!! I pulled all of these prompts from a mixture of different prompt lists already on Tumblr.

Thank you for the submissions, I love you all!! xxx

1. “ Not you again.. “

2. “ Leave me alone. “

3. “ Why do you hate me? ”

4. “ I lost the baby. ” ~ Shawn Mendes

5. “ I don’t need you anymore. ”

6. “ We cant keep this up forever. ”

7. “ You’re a disappointment. ”

8. “ Don’t die on me– Please. ”

9. “ I never meant to hurt you. ” ~ Dylan O’Brien

10. “ Are you upset with me? ” ** - Shawn Mendes

11. “ I’m going to kill you! ”

12. “ Please don’t hurt me like this. ”

13. “ Dont call this number again. “

14. “ Why did you spare me? ”

15. “ I’m sick. ”

16. “ I’m dying. ” 

17. “ I wish i’d never met you. ”

18. “ I thought we were family!”

19. “ There was never an us. ”

20. “ I fucked up. ”

21. “ I came to say goodbye. ”

22. “ I don’t deserve to be loved. ”

23. “ About the baby… Its yours. ” ~ Shawn Mendes

24. “ Dance with me! ”

25. “ Isn’t this amazing? ”

26. “ I wish we could stay like this forever. ”

27. “ Will you marry me? ”

28. “ I’m pregnant. ” ** - Shawn Mendes

29. “ I’m going to keep you safe. ”

30. “ Do you trust me? ”

31. “ Can I kiss you right now? ”

32. “ You’re cute when you’re angry. ”

33. “ We’d make such a cute couple. ”

34. “ I want to take care of you. ”

35. “ Can we cuddle? ”

36. “ It’s lonely here without you. ”

37. “ Shut up and kiss me already. ” ** - Shawn Mendes

38. “ Is that my shirt? ”

39. “ How did we get here? ”

40. “ You own my heart. ”

41. “ You’d be a great dad. ”

42. “ I want to protect you. ”

43.  “ You’re so beautiful. ”

44. “ Is that a new perfume? ”

45. “ Stop being so cute. ”

46. “ You’re making me blush! ”

47. “ You��re teasing me again… ”

48. “ This is why I fell in love with you. ”

49. “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ”

50. “ Of course I remembered! ”

51. “ You’re one hell of a guy. ”

52. “ Are you jealous? ”

53. “ Stop hogging all the blankets! ”

54. “ Are you drunk? ”

55. “ We cant go in there… ”

56. “ Well this is just great. ”

57. “ Don’t touch me. ”

58. “ Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ”

59. “ I don’t remember that! ”

60. “ Get that thing away from me! ”

61. “ You owe me. ”

62. “ Do you believe in ghosts? ”

63. “ Are you hitting on me? ”

64. “ You did what?! ”

65. “ Why are you bleeding? ”

66. “ Where did all these puppies come from?”

67. “ Don’t make me come over there myself! ”

68. “ That wasn’t funny. ”

69. “ Are you mad at me? ”

70. “ Can I borrow that book of yours?”

71. “ Let me help you with that. ”

72. “ Take that back! ”

73. “ I brought you your coffee. ”

74. “ Don’t fuck this up. ”

75. “ I haven’t slept in four days… ” ~ Shawn Mendes

76. “ Your turn to do the dishes. ”

77. “ Was I really that drunk? ”

78. “Give me back my phone! ”

79. “ Are you cold? ”

80. “ This place gives me the creeps. "

81. “ It’s just your imagination. ”

82. “ Stop being such a baby. ”

83. “ Go back to bed. ”

84. “ Are you okay? ”

85. “ What on earth are you wearing? ”

86. “ Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

87. “ Put me down! ”

88. “ There’s only one bed… ” ~ Shawn Mendes

89. “ It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ”

90. “ How did I loose it? ”

91.  “ I read your diary. ” ** - Shawn Mendes

92. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” ~ Shawn Mendes

 93. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” ~ Shawn Mendes

 94. “And you wonder why you’re still single.” ~ Shawn Mendes

 95. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 

 96. “Were you dropped on your head?” 

 97. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 

 98. “If I survive, can I go home?” 

 99. “My middle finger salutes you.” 

 100. “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 

 101. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 

 102. “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 

 103. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” ~ Shawn Mendes

104. “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 

 105. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 

 106. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 

107. “I need therapy after this.” 

 108. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 

 109. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 

 110. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 

 111. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 

 112. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 

 113. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 

 114. “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 

 115. “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 

 116. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 

 117. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 

 118. “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 

 119. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 

 120. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

121. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 

 122. “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 

 123. “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 

 124. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 

 125. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 

 126. “I like you. You’re different.”

127. “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 

 128. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 

 129. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 

 130. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 

 131. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 

 132. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 

 133. “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 

 134. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 

 135. “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 

 136. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 

 137. “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 

 138. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 

 139. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything…stupid.” 

 140. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 

141. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

142. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

143. “Are you crying?" "No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 

 144. “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 

 145. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 

 146. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 

 147. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 

 148. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 

149. “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 

 150. “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 

 151. “And hello to you too… little home wrecker.” 

 152. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 

153. “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

154. “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 

 155. “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 

 156. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

 157. “ She’s not yours. “

 158. “ There is no us, there never was. “

159. “ Why didn’t you tell me? “

160. “ If lies keep spewing from those lips then i’ m walking out that door. “

161. “ Are you ever going to listen? “

162. “ Don’t leave me. Don’t you dare leave me. “

163. “ Shhh. I know. “ ~ Tom Holland

164. “ Tell me a story. “

165. “ Leave. Before we wake up regretting what we’ve done. “

166. “ All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that? “

167. “ Alcohol’s the only constant in my life. “

168. “ I was doing fine. Really, and then you waltz back in like you didn’t break my heart. “

169. “ You’re married!! “

170. “ He’s a fuck-boy and he’s never going to treat you better than this. “

171. “ H-how long? “

172. “ You still wear my hoodie? “

173. “ I’m too sober for this bullshit. “

174. “ How did you imagine our future together? “

175. “ That was supposed to be me, not him. “ ~ Dylan O’Brien

176. “ I didn’t have a choice. “

177. “ Compromise. "

178. “ His finger was right on the trigger but he wasn’t fast enough. “

179. “ Leave him and marry me. “

180. “ It’s okay if you have to go. “

181. “ Always and forever. “

182. “ You always cared more about her than you ever did about me. “

183. “ You had a kid and decided to walk out. You don’t get to call the shots round here. “ ~ Shawn Mendes

184. “ I fell for you. “

185. “ Daddy, how did you and mommy fall in love? “

186. “ I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am i? “

187. “ He already boarded the plane. We’re too late. “

188. “ That look in his eyes. That was enough to tell me he didn’t feel the same anymore. “

189. “ Who the hell abandons someone they ‘love’? “

190. “ The moment you saw me as a bet was the moment you fucked up. “

191. “ Meet me upstairs in 10. “

192. “ One more chance. “

193. “ It doesn’t have to be that way. Come with me. “

194. “ I don’t love you. “

195. “ You were my everything. “

196. “ You’re never seeing either of us again. “

197. “ Trust you? You don’t know the meaning of the word. “

198. “ You made me feel loved and wanted and for that, I’ll always love you.”

199. “ She’s lost without you. “ ~ Shawn Mendes

200. “ Don’t you get it? I’m in love with you and it scares the hell out of me. “ ~ Tom Holland

201. “ I want to be alone. “

 202. “ D-did i ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are? “

 203. “ Step out that door and i swear we’re done. “

 204. “ What right did you have keeping it from me?  “

 205. “ Running seems to be all you’re good at. “

206. “ What the fuck is it that’s so funny? “

 207. “ She always burned so brightly. “

 208.  “ We aren’t even in the same book, let alone the same page. “

209. “ I don’t want to live in a world where I’m not with you. “

210. “ Your hair still looks so good. “

211. “ You say this is what you want but your eyes are telling me a different story.“

212. “ Murder was apart of the agenda for today. “

 213. “ What if i just break his nose a lil’? “

 214. “ Hurry up, before we regret it. "

215. “Didn’t you read the sign?"

[bachyou]

I posted 153 times in 2021

4 posts created (3%)

149 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 37.3 posts.

I added 15 tags in 2021

#writing - 3 posts

#where's the lie? - 2 posts

#big mood - 2 posts

#this is a great idea - 2 posts

#charisma bard am i a stan now? - 1 posts

#fucking - 1 posts

#3 through 6 - 1 posts

#even 10 is horrifying to me - 1 posts

#not to be bi but holy fucking shit - 1 posts

#shit - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 44 characters

#trying not to make 2 dimentional antagonists

My Top Posts in 2021

#4

Oh no.

It’s really good, you guys.

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 00:36:45 GMT

#3

HEY

I’m about to play The Outer Worlds and, quick question here, is this gonna be my new thing? Am I gonna have to fanfic about it really hard? Can’t decide whether that’s great or brain overload yet.

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-24 18:35:01 GMT

#2

It was a three chapter month this month. Haven’t had one of those in a while and it has drained some of the raging plot tumor I’ve grown. Plz enjoy some more Mojave.

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 18:37:51 GMT

#1

WIP Wednesday

(Reblogged and borrowed from Falloutglow)

*claps hands* ITS THAT TIME ONCE AGAIN FOLKS!

tagging: @popatochisssp​, @monstersandmaw​, @teradoration​, @kimiwillsinforever​ and THE PERSON READING THIS! YOU WANNA DO IT? I TAG THEE!

In between my regularly scarring fanfic, I’ve been workshopping another long-form chonker, this time featuring my favorite ghoul and the Sole Survivor, here called Nora. This work represents the next BIGstretch writing goal for myself - have a fic mostly finished before I begin to post - so it won’t be presented anywhere for quite some time but I have a lot of fun writing it. It feels mostly like a road-trip saga so as I’m playing Fallout 4, I’ll write down all the weird ‘road thoughts’ I have. Here’s the first bit, though.

Speechless: A Gesamskunstwerke

It feels like April, chilly and wet, but Pip says it’s almost August. To Hancock’s ancient-before-their-time bones, it’s especially difficult to tell when the length of days is the same, very little variation in the seasons anymore. Well, that’s not quite true, she thinks, accepting another Nuka-Cherry-and-Rum from Charlie, there are more Radstorms in spring. August is just settling in to wait for winter. In the old days, the foliage would be vibrant and thickly falling on every walkway, in every fountain and creek. Now it’s just bare.

A scavver sits across the bar from her, leering unsteadily when he isn’t housing shots. For a moment, she considers re-buttoning the throat of her flannel, then decides that reacting to his rude demeanor would be more than he deserves. She applauds Magnolia’s lovely song instead.

“Thank you, thank you,” says the singer, smoothing the front of her sequin gown. “It’s time to me to take just a brief repose, but don’t be gone too long. I’m just too lonesome without you.”

Another quietly sincere round of applause answers her and the woman sipped her drink again, jiggling her foot in time with the music. Sure, her dress wasn’t the lowest or tightest in the room – Magnolia made sure to outdo her audience even on a Friday night – but if Hancock knew anything about women, this was a garment she was planning on taking off. He grinned and threw back the rest of his whiskey to order a fresh double for two. Her room in the Rexford was about to be on his tab.

0 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 02:05:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[jozalynsharp]

Struggling Comedian: A Story of Middle Aged Bar Hopping and Living with Uncertainty

by Jozalyn Sharp, 6:18 A.M., Monday August 20th, 2018

We walk up the ramp to the entrance of Mike & Rhonda's "The Place". A group of tourists who speak no English secure their spot on the waiting list for a table. I am wondering what brought these tourists to a little college town in the mountains of Arizona. The sole man in the group turns around and he has three individual rat tails that have been dread-locked hanging from the base of his skull. The rest of his head is shaved. What in the actual fuck. 

     Mike pretends to be talking on the phone so he can take a photo of the man. Not " THE Mike" of Mike & Rhonda's. He's "A Mike" of Phoenix, Arizona. He's a friend who traveled up to Flagstaff to open for me at a little gig downtown the night before.

     It's really eating away at me, my curiosity. What could have brought this man with a style all his own? 100% his own.  I would spend heaps of money to get a tour of this dudes house. I imagine it to be full of other off beat style choices. Like a meat smoking room that's also a movie theater. 

     Think of the circumstances that have to take place in your universe for you to end up with a rat tail. Now think of the circumstances that would have to transpire for you to end up with dreadlocks. Now picture the Venn diagram of the overlap. 

     Mike and I spend the evening drinking excessively. We had plans to Uber back to where we were staying so we were going to take that $9 charge as a carte blanche to get absolutely annihilated. 

     I am certainly trying to drown my personal sorrows. Comedians are not known to be solid financially. It's always a struggle to find consistent gig work and I have no management to rely on to help me.  I have no television credits for people to recognize me for, and I certainly am just barely, if at all, on the radar as far as skill level goes in the grand scheme of comedy. I normally would calmly reassure myself that I was working up to a whole new set for the next years run of shows, and that the work always comes back around. However, I am a little over 36 hours past finding out I may no longer have my regular source of income from my day job. 

     I won't bore you with the details of how hard being a full-time performer is. You've heard it. Is it gratifying? Yes. Does it sometimes strip you of all of your dignity and make you constantly question your validity doing the only thing you've ever loved? Yes. It's always worth it, though. Even the most painful to execute of sets are a joy because you know the real comedy is going to happen in the back of the room when you and your friends make fun of just how poorly you did.

     Anyway, my sole source of income was comedy for over a year and it was fucking hard. I have no business having comedy be my sole source of income! I have put myself in a place where I have no choice. And having no business and no choice doesn't leave you with much except to just do the fucking thing and cross your fingers that the universe will gift you some good fortune. 

     I really struggle with anxiety. Uncertainty is none too kind to that part of my brain either. The uncertainty of my future does weigh heavily on my chest. Chasing your dreams is not the easy feat they tell you all about in elementary school. They don't tell you about the effect it has on your partner, your family, or your psyche. The only thing I learned that was a useful truth from elementary school was you should never eat a grilled cheese that comes sealed in a plastic bag. That is a steamed cheese. And it's a travesty and tastes like moss from a foot.

     I'll swallow my anxiety about this uncertainty because it's unproductive. I have to channel this energy somewhere else or I will stress eat another Party-Size KFC Popcorn Chicken. Tada! And thus this blog is born. I accept the fact that I have no idea where my financial contribution to my household is going to come from and spend hours working on arbitrary things that will have no long term effect on my comedy career but make me feel productive anyway. Tada! Like a blog. 

     So Mike and I are feeling exceptionally old this night, but are determined to take advantage of the rare occasions we get to really bro-down. I bitch and moan that the bars are too loud. We walk until we see a bar on the corner called "McMillan's". I breathe a sigh of relief as I cannot hear music blaring from the sidewalk. This is a good sign. 

          "This place looks good & quiet." I say stepping up onto the threshold. 

     The bar was either in some kind of sound proofed time warp or the universe was feeling incredibly cheeky that night because that was the moment a DJ inside dropped the beat of all beats and I started to bleed from the eyes. 

     I turn to Mike and he is as red as beet. Just delighted with what seems to be a karmic prank being played on me. We both about piss our pants at the thought of us wandering around a college town looking for a quiet bar and the universe basically telling us to go fuck ourselves. We lower our standards for decibel readings and go across the street to Collin's. Fast forward to two hours later and Mike and I are 3 or 4 beers, a couple shots of whiskey, and an Irish Car Bomb deep. We have successfully wasted $5 trying to win a "Mr. Poopy Butthole" plush, and we both punched the electronic punching bag once before realizing rotator cuffs don't grow on trees. I am fist bumped by a dude who says "yeah old guys!" and am full on ogled by a man in a fishing cap and velcro sandals. We saw a very poorly executed street fight, and we ended the night by playing a drinking game I barely remember. This night is by far reminiscent of my early 20's except I am an unfuckable entity in this college bar. I am 30, my shirt is disheveled, I have jeans that stink like green room and Corolla road funk on, and I have cut my hair in a way that would suggest I'm trying to signal to other predators that I am dangerous. To be invisible like that made people watching better than it's ever been. (Also I can't say completely unfuckable because one girl did give me eyes on her way in, but again it was a dark bar and she may have mistaken me for a member of the Cardinals D-Line. 

     We both hop in the backseat of an Uber to head back for the night. Mike and I demand information from our Uber driver about the horrors he's seen in that very backseat. It turns out he's from Vegas so we all just start nodding and naming Las Vegas subdivisions until we get to the house.

     We get out and hang out on the lawn talking so as not to disturb the family inside. We hear a coyote. We are trading drunken stories form our youth. We may as well have had shawls on and been whittling ourselves a pipe on the front porch. One of us is mid-story when we hear what sounds very much like hooves on asphalt. We slowly turn to face the street.

     A deer runs down the 100% residential street. It seems so out of place its jarring. 

     "Aaaaaand, now we're going inside." Mike decides for both of us. 

     We both ended up leaving essential night time items in the car so we drunkenly coordinate missions to retrieve the items without being mauled by whatever that deer was running from. (What are ESSENTIAL NIGHTTIME ITEMS, you ask? Well that is a fancy word for iPhone Chargers & HydroFlasks).  

     What is the point of all this? I'm not sure. I guess the point was to say, I have no idea what my plan is right now. I have no certain path. What's my plan? I don't have one. Not a concrete one at least. My plan is to take this incredibly inconveniently timed opportunity as an invitation to reflect on what it is I actually want to do. And as an excuse to eat junk food and binge watch I Am a Killer on Netflix.