#its 1am im ranting into the void

[pissboyscotland]

[rise-my-angel]

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[lostacelonnie]

what drew you to durandal originally and is it the reason shes still a favorite now?

OK OK OK FIRST OF ALL. thank you SO much for this ask i love talking about her and also sorry it took so long to respond, i had a lot going on. hope you don't mind ehe,, ANYWAYS! to be honest, the reason i started liking her very early in the game is. purely a coincidence! and by that i mean, i got valkyrie gloria ~ch2 and she's been on my team for an unreasonably long time since then, so even before i even knew who she was i. kinda grew attached to her [same for seele, btw. swallowtail phantasm carried me through half this game. moving on.] then came the first mention of her in chapter i don't remember which one [2? 3? 4? something around there] and tbh i just heard teri's description and was like "oh she sounds neat :] i'm probably gonna like her!" [foreshadowing?] just bc she sounded like a genuinely. nice person?

so, that's how i originally got drawn to her! now, onto why she's still my favorite :D

ok so. starting off. sth you often see in the fandom is ppl saying that dudu doesn't really have much of a personality, and while she definitely doesn't get her character really shown in a lot of the game, that's very untrue! it's just a lot of ppl tend to kinda... not bother to look into her character too much??? and, while im not gonna go full character analysis, its just. its about the genuine sweetness. the fact that despite being schicksals strongest valkyrie, she doesnt even get the thought of placing herself above other valkyries, or hell, even kiana, the literal [from her perspective] herrscher of the void. its about the Himbo Energy. shes so so smart but so so silly!!!!! its about the little traces of the personality she was forced to repress for the sake of a bubble universe, seen for example when she was fighting su! think that was ooc? think again, thats exactly what she was like a few years ago!!!! dudu is excitable, she likes having fun and playing football with kids and she adopted a half honkai beast only bc it looked like a cat, because she had half her childhood stolen by having to protect an entire universe. and like, shes a really good person who worked with schicksal bc guess what? she was raised there! and human attachments exist! and despite resorting to questionable means of achieving what she needed to, shes capable of changing and fighting alongside new allies. you get me?

oh and also another thing very dear to me about her character is biankas approach to identity. as in, names dont play a big role until you give them one- flowers may smell and look and beautiful under any other name, but she has given her own name meaning and made it hers, just as kiana has done- and bianka being born under the name kiana doesnt change or refute either of their identities

anyway thank you!! this might be a bit incomprehensible cos i did it at 1am but i feel like i still got my point through. although, i really barely said anything and didnt address a lot of the ✨points of nuance✨ because if i started, we'd be here all day. so. there it is theres the mini dudu rant

[bambino1294]

hey love idk if im the right person to be saying something about this but i also related a lil too much to ur post earlier about fortune that i'd feel bad if i didn't say anything, so here goes (and im gonna have to send this in three different asks omg im so fucking sorry bro tumblr limits are killing me). anyway, so i used to feel the exact same way with salvage when it came to taob, and now taob has become its own thing, i even do it with avatar ('people only like my work because it takes characters they know and love already; my original writing wouldn't be nearly as popular'). it's a mindset thing, not an actual opinion taken by those around you, if that makes sense?  (1)

Okay first of all, everyone has to know that I love this woman with my whole being and istg if I never get to meet her in person I will be so sad 💔

Second of all, gen thought that tag rant of a post got lost to the void so the fact you of all people saw it like- whoops(?)

And okay, now time for an actual, non-tag rant that will be far from coherent~

I’m very aware that a lot of the lapses in my writing self confidence, I think, comes from the fact that I’ve been writing for so long and the fact that a lot of the things that suddenly blow up are always the fics I don’t think are written

Writing for as long as I have, I don’t tend to put much merit in stats (usually) because I’ve always sat relatively comfortably in that ‘I have like 5 commenters who are always here and I love you’ kind of space within my fandoms, it just tends to be that when I have something get big, it’s usually a fic I like less than a lot of my other ones and that tends to be when then huehuehue kind of evil brain rats show up yk cause I’m aware I didn’t put as much thought and style and effort into it yet it’s somehow more popular than the pieces I’ve sold my soul for and wish got more attention if only because I tend to be a hell of a lot prouder of those pieces yk

Anyway I stopped making sense a millennia ago thank you 1am brain ✌🏻

[nekoaijinx]

So.. The guy ive been talking to constantly for a couple of weeks has either stopped responding or responds with one word answers or just doesnt seem interested anymore. He use to text me first in the mornings. But that stopped. And when i text him I just feel like im annoying him. So I sorta backed off. He texted me at 1am and we talked for a bit, but he went to bed and told me hed text me tomorrow.

I highly doubt he will.

Anyone I talk to that tells me they'll message me tomorrow usually dont, so i usually text them first. But honestly im just not even going to bother.

And when I do have people message me and want to talk to me I end up ghosting them before they ghost me because its happened so often.

Im just tired of being left.

Especially when they promise not to leave, and promise to always talk with me and we both can fix it, whatever it is, but they end up leaving anyways.

I do apologize for ranting.

Maybe one of these days I'll stop.

Just ✨d i s a p p e a r✨

Though honestly no one even knows i have a tumblr so im just ranting into the void and talking to myself. So I guess this is pointless none the less. I dont have mutuals or followers. Even if i did they wouldnt read it because we are strangers on the internet. Or read it and scroll passed. 😂 I probably shouldnt take that for granted. So I guess ranting to myself here is okay. But one day I hope to just stop entirely. Get to a point where i dont complain or express whats hurting me. Its not important. Maybe my sociopathic dad was right people do just hurt you and leave. Maybe the only person I have is myself. Well honestly I am the only person i have, if im allowed to say that.

Well new goal, work on not complaining so much. And work on not expecting anything.

Time to just work on keeping to myself.

And learn not to cry so much.

Maybe even if at all.

🤗😶🙃