#ithyphallic

[egypt-museum]

Statuette of Bes with Horus and pot

The dwarf Bes stands with his legs apart, with a statuette of Horus on his left arm and a pot under his right arm. His overlong phallus hangs down between his legs.

The figure belongs to the group of so-called Faiyum terracottas. They are part of the religious household, children's toys, but also cult symbols, grave goods, pilgrimage images, votive offerings and magical objects to banish evil forces. They can be found in houses, graves and sanctuaries.

Graeco-Roman Period, 3rd century BC to 3rd century AD. Now in the MKG Hamburg. 1989.526

[formulas-fatal-to-your-mom]

[bizarrobrain]

"Eat of the Dead" by Nile - From "Ithyphallic" (2007)

[figbian]

as i agonize over an aesthetic change the allure of changing my icon to an ithyphallic creature on a magical gem grows stronger...

[dipstick-university]

i keep trying to write a funny caption but the image speaks for itself. is it a bird? a winged horse? an angel giving a kiss to their blessed? are the vulvae nursing it? was the artist in a competition to make the sluttiest "cosmetic vase" cap for their lube jar? i need answers and i will never get them

[random-racehorses]

Random Real Thoroughbred: ITHYPHALLE

ITHYPHALLE is a dark bay/brown mare born in France in 1919. By DJAMY out of NIPHLESETH. Link to their pedigreequery page: https://www.pedigreequery.com/ithyphalle

[cynic-spirit]

The Classy Filth

Bucky slumped back in his chair, still visibly shaken from the verbal masterpiece she’d just unleashed on him. His face was flushed, his hands rubbing over his face in an attempt to process what had just happened. He looked around at his friends, all of whom were still grinning and chuckling at his clear discomfort.

Finally, he sighed, leaning forward on his elbows. “I’ve heard dirty talk before,” Bucky began, his voice a little hoarse. “I’ve heard all sorts of things... but somehow that... that was the classiest, filthiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Steve, already half-laughing, raised an eyebrow. “Classy and filthy? How’s that work?”

Bucky shook his head, clearly still bewildered by what had just unfolded. “It’s like... she’s dirty but she’s not, you know? She starts talking about my... ithyphallic form like it belongs in a museum, and you think, ‘Wow, that’s... impressive but... innocent.’ And then she says it in a way that makes you think, ‘Wait, is this getting... dirty?’ But then it’s not. And then... it is.”

Sam leaned back, crossing his arms with a wide grin. “Man, it’s like she’s pulling you into a trap, and you don’t even realize you’re falling for it until you’re already in too deep.”

Bucky nodded, still looking like he couldn’t quite believe what had happened. “Exactly! She’s got this way of talking where you’re like, ‘Okay, this is just classy... she’s comparing me to artwork.’ But then, out of nowhere, she says something like my abs are Gaudí’s Sagrada Família or my... my derrière is Canova’s Venus, and suddenly, you’re like—‘Wait a minute, this is definitely not innocent anymore.’” He paused, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s like she’s dancing on the line of dirty and classy... and she never fully crosses it, but at the same time, she does. It’s... confusing.”

Nick laughed, leaning in. “So, what you’re saying is... she’s got you completely whipped without even using dirty talk the way most people do?”

Bucky groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “It’s worse than dirty talk, Nick! I could handle dirty talk. That’s... that’s straightforward. You know what you’re dealing with.” He looked up, clearly exasperated. “But this? This is some next-level mind game. She’s saying stuff that would normally make you blush, but she’s doing it with so much... elegance, it’s like you’re not even sure what just happened until you’re already done for.”

Thor, grinning wide, nodded sagely. “Ah, yes. It’s the art of subtle seduction. A battle of the mind. She’s not just describing physical things, Bucky. She’s elevating them to a higher level, making you think it’s all about art, when in reality, it’s about something much deeper.”

Bucky slumped back, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Exactly! And before I know it, I’m sitting here feeling like a... like a sculpture, but somehow... it’s the dirtiest, most artistic description I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Steve laughed, patting him on the back. “I’ve never seen you so confused in my life. Usually, you’ve got it all figured out. But this... she’s got you tangled up in words.”

Sam, smirking, leaned forward. “I mean, Bucky, she was out here describing your... lovemaking like it was a Renaissance painting. That’s some high-level filth right there, man.”

Bucky groaned again. “That’s the thing! She never actually says anything dirty, but somehow it’s worse! It’s like she’s holding back, just enough to keep it classy, but she knows what she’s doing. She’s toying with me, man. It’s... it’s genius. Diabolical, but genius.”

Nick chuckled, nodding in agreement. “It’s like she’s playing chess while you’re playing checkers. She’s five steps ahead the whole time.”

Thor raised his glass. “To the art of subtlety, Bucky. It takes a true master to leave a man so undone with words alone.”

Bucky sighed dramatically, slumping back in his chair. “I’m telling you, I don’t even know if I’ll survive another round of that. She doesn’t have to be dirty. She just... exists on this level that’s somehow filthier than actual dirty talk but wrapped in the nicest, most elegant package ever.”

Steve, still laughing, leaned in. “So what’s the plan now? You going to start writing her love poems to compete?”

Bucky shook his head, looking more defeated than ever. “No way. She’s got the high ground. I’m never challenging her again. Ever. She can have all the wins. I’m staying out of it. I’m not risking another round of that classy filth.”

Bucky, still clearly flustered, ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. He leaned forward, eyes wide in disbelief as he confessed, “And the worst part? It turns me on like crazy. I mean, I’m sitting there... and she’s talking about my body like it’s some kind of Renaissance sculpture, and I’m just—” He let out a frustrated growl, slamming his fist lightly on the table. “Arrrghhhh...”

Steve, who had been holding back his laughter, finally lost it. “Wait, wait—so you’re telling me... all of that, all the classy descriptions, had you completely gone?”

Bucky groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Yes! That’s what I’m saying! It’s the classiest, most poetic filth ever, and it’s making me lose my mind.”

Sam grinned, leaning in with a mischievous look. “So, basically, she can turn you into a mess without even trying. Just by describing you like a statue.”

Bucky nodded, exasperated. “Exactly. It’s like, I’m just sitting there, and she starts in on the Michelangelo references, and the next thing I know, I’m all—" He waved his hands, searching for the right words, “—I’m just... completely done for. I don’t even know how to react. It’s like I’m getting hit with these classy metaphors, and my brain’s screaming, ‘This is so wrong, but it feels so right!’”

Thor, amused, raised an eyebrow. “So the art of subtle seduction not only confuses you... it also drives you mad with desire. That, my friend, is true power.”

Bucky slammed his hand down again, this time a little harder. “I know! It’s like, she’s barely saying anything dirty, but I’m already gone. One minute I’m a man, the next I’m... I don’t know, some ancient Greek statue who’s lost all control.”

Nick chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re telling me that subtle art talk messes with you that much?”

Bucky let out another growl, his frustration mixed with amusement. “Yes! I’m telling you, it’s the classiest dirty talk I’ve ever heard, and I’m losing it. My brain’s like, ‘Is this art or... something else?’ and it’s driving me nuts. She doesn’t even have to be explicit. Just... boom—there goes my composure.”

Sam clapped him on the shoulder, grinning. “You’re so whipped, man. She’s got you right where she wants you.”

Bucky groaned again, leaning back in his chair. “And it’s not just the words, man. It’s the way she says it. She’s looking at me like I’m a masterpiece, and my brain just... implodes. I’m sitting there like a helpless idiot, and I can’t think straight.”

Steve, still laughing, raised his glass. “To Yn, the queen of classy dirty talk, for making Bucky lose his mind with nothing but art metaphors.”

The rest of the group joined in, clinking glasses and grinning at Bucky’s torment.

Bucky just shook his head, laughing despite himself. “I swear, guys... I’m never recovering from this.”

Thor, still chuckling, raised his own glass. “To Bucky, forever the masterpiece, always on the verge of losing control.”

As everyone laughed, Bucky slumped back in his chair, his face flushed, but there was a small, amused smile tugging at his lips. He knew full well that Yn had him wrapped around her finger, and he wasn’t about to fight it.

[blueiscoool]

AN ATTIC BLACK FIGURE AMPHORA AND LID Circa 540 b.c. Manner of the Taleides Painter

One side with a rider, perhaps Hephaistos, upon an ithyphallic mule facing right, a revelling maenad and satyr to the left and right, the satyr on the left grasping its haunches and penetrating the mule from behind, the satyr on the right aroused, his arms open, with a leg-shaped aryballos hanging from the mule's phallus, psuedo-inscriptions in the field; the other side with Dionysus between two satyrs and two maenads, pseudo-inscriptions in the field, details in added red, graffiti on the underside of the foot, each scene with a lotus-bud chain above, with rays above the foot, the slightly domed lid with a conical finial

13 in. (34.3 cm) high including the lid.

[esoteric-images]

roman ithyphallic lamp believed to portray cucullatus supposedly a gallic deity

[lionofchaeronea]

Terracotta mastoid (breast-shaped) eye-cup with handles, depicting an ithyphallic satyr. Artist unknown; late 6th cent. BCE. Now in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

[camisoledadparis]

One more for Phallus Saturday. This small Egyptian ithyphallic amulet looks like a WWII tail gunner, or Luke Skywalker in his landspeeder. Ready for action!

No acc. number, so no date and no further info. Perhaps

[formulas-fatal-to-your-mom]

[mask131]

The Dionysos gallery (2)

Next on our travel down the Dionysos museum, we have an entire section dedicated to the Bacchanals in painting - with a few analysis here and there.

Titien's The Bacchanal of the Andrians

The Museum's website adds that this depicts the legend of how Dionysos gifted the inhabitants of the island of Andros with a river of wine. It was one of the numerous "miracles" attributed to the god by folk-belief when he became the god of the grapevine. Already in his "Bacchants" Euripides had told how, by touching a stone with his thyrsus he created a stream of fresh water, and where his narthex had touched the ground a stream of wine flowed ; and those that sought milk only had to scratch the ground near the god to see it flow, and from the god's thyrsus honey dropped...

In Ionia, on the island of Teos, a similar legend existed: it was said, by Diodor of Sicily and Pline the Elder, that at a fixed date in a calendar a stream of wine regularly flowed. At Elis, on the eve of the god's feast-day, empty jars and jugs were sealed and left alone in Dionysos' temple: by the morning, when they were opened, they were filled to the brim with wine.

Giovanni Bellini and Titien's The Feast of the Gods

The museum adds this mention: the painting is a depiction of the legend of Lotis collected by Ovid. One night, as the gods had a feast, the nymph Lotis fell asleep. Priapus got close to her, and with his famous ithyphallic nature, he decided to rape her. But as he was about to touch her body, the donkey of Silenus started making loud noises - waking up everybody, including Lotis. Lotis fled from Priapus' embrace, and all the gods laughed and mocked the god.

This painting was most notably the favorite painting of Fernand Botero.

Dosso Dossi's Bacchanal with a drunk Silenus and Bacchants frolicking around grapevine

Niccolo Frangipane's Bacchanal

Nicolas Poussin's Bacchanal

Nicolas Poussin's Bacchanal with a guitar player ; also called "Great Bacchanal"

Nicolas Poussin's Bacchic Scene

Pier Francesco Mola's Bacchus supervising the Satyrs pressing wine

Gerrit van Bronckhorst's Bacchanal with Silenus

Jacob van Loo's Scene with Bacchants

Michaelina Wautier's Bacchanal

Jacques Jordaens' Bacchanal

Giulio Carpioni's Bacchanal

Michel-Ange Houasse's Bacchanal

Francesco Zuccarelli's Bacchanal

[talonabraxas]

“Godspeed!” Tintinnabulum In ancient Rome, a tintinnabulum was a wind chime or assemblage of bells. A tintinnabulum often took the form of a bronze ithyphallic figure or of a fascinum, a magico-religious phallus thought to ward off the evil eye and bring good fortune and prosperity. A bronze polyphallic tintinnabulum of Mercury. Holding a purse full of money in his right hand, his herald’s staff or caduceus in his left hand.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Ye, Scotland To Change Name

The provost and council of the quiet village of Ye in Scotland have voted unanimously to change the name of the town after Kanye West, who also goes by the name Ye, made antisemitic remarks during an interview and on Twitter.

According to provost Samus Aran (no relation) “The town of Ye, as we knew it, was founded in 1241 by Dunkeld Kilmonivaig as a hiding place to keep his collection of stone ithyphallic sheep-man idols safe from the church. It soon attracted many sculptors, shamanic practitioners, and folk who enjoyed seeing well equipped idols of a sheep-man with an enormous (unintelligible brogue). Since then, Ye has had a noble history of religious diversity, legal LSD consumption, and cheap (unintelligible brogue) where a young lad could always (unintelligible brogue) his (unintelligible brogue) until he was all out of (unintelligible brogue).”

But as soon as West began his tweets threatening to go “death con 3″ (sic) on Jews, the council was already looking to change the village’s name, despite the fact that “death con 3″ is not a thing, and Defcon 1 is the term for a state of war, the lower number being the more critical. “Naturally, we knew he was a complete idiot,” said village treasurer Kirby Dreamland (no relation), “But with his praise of Hitler and appearance on the Alex Jones Bigotry & Bull Hour, we knew we had to move quickly.”

The small village of 32 citizens, all of whom are on the council (including the youngest, Link Hylian (no relation), age 8), who explained the new name of the village: “We wanted to be all ironic, right? So me and all the elders decided on a new name that would make ol’ Mr. West upchuck his (unintelligible brogue) all over his own pair of (unintelligible brogue).”

Now newly incorporated, the town of Kardashian, Scotland has a bright future and has already served as an inspiration to the neighboring town of PutinMusk, which is currently evaluating new possibilities.

[panarcadia]

Satyr

In Greek mythology, a satyr, also known as a silenus or silenos, and sileni (plural), is a male nature spirit with ears and a tail resembling those of a horse, as well as a permanent, exaggerated erection. Early artistic representations sometimes include horse-like legs, but, by the sixth century BC, they were more often represented with human legs. Comically hideous, they have mane-like hair, bestial faces, and snub noses and they always are shown naked. Satyrs were characterized by their ribaldry and were known as lovers of wine, music, dancing, and women. They were companions of the god Dionysus and were believed to inhabit remote locales, such as woodlands, mountains, and pastures. They often attempted to seduce or rape nymphs and mortal women alike, usually with little success. They are sometimes shown masturbating or engaging in bestiality.

Attic red-figure plate from Vulci, Etruria, dated c. 520–500 BC, showing an ithyphallic satyr holding an aulos, a kind of ancient Greek woodwind instrument.

In classical Athens, satyrs made up the chorus in a genre of play known as a "satyr play", which was a parody of tragedy and known for its bawdy and obscene humor. [...] The satyr Silenus was the tutor of the young Dionysus.

Over the course of Greek history, satyrs gradually became portrayed as more human and less bestial. They also began to acquire goat-like characteristics in some depictions as a result of conflation with the Pans, plural forms of the god Pan with the legs and horns of goats. The Romans identified satyrs with their native nature spirits, fauns. Eventually the distinction between the two was lost entirely. Since the Renaissance, satyrs have been most often represented with the legs and horns of goats. Representations of satyrs cavorting with nymphs have been common in western art, with many famous artists creating works on the theme. Since the beginning of the twentieth century, satyrs have generally lost much of their characteristic obscenity, becoming more tame and domestic figures. They commonly appear in works of fantasy and children's literature, in which they are most often referred to as "fauns".

The etymology of the term satyr (Greek: σάτυρος, translit. sátyros) is unclear, and several different etymologies have been proposed for it, including a possible Pre-Greek origin. Some scholars have linked the second part of name to the root of the Greek word θηρίον, thēríon, meaning 'wild animal'. This proposal may be supported by the fact that at one point Euripides refers to satyrs as theres. Another proposed etymology derives the name from an ancient Peloponnesian word meaning 'the full ones', alluding to their permanent state of sexual arousal. Eric Partridge suggested that the name may be related to the root sat-, meaning 'to sow', which has also been proposed as the root of the name of the Roman god Saturn. Satyrs are usually indistinguishable from sileni, whose iconography is virtually identical. According to Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, the name 'satyr' is sometimes derogatorily applied to a "brutish or lustful man". The term satyriasis refers to a medical condition in males characterized by excessive sexual desire. It is the male equivalent of nymphomania.

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