#it's worse for me in a different way when it's about non-case stuff tbh

[queenerdloser]

reid: excitedly infodumping about ray bradbury

rossi, not paying attention, slightly annoyed: uh huh, sure

me, frothing at the mouth: i'm listening reid! i care! keep telling me about ray bradbury, talk as much as you want!

i think every time i watch criminal minds i get more and more angry about the way the team treats reid's infodumping. like. you literally hired him to infodump. you regularly treat him like he's an extension of google. and then you roll your eyes or act like he's being soooo annoying and boring when he just! does his job! and then do the same thing to him when he's infodumping about stuff he actually likes too!!! undermine him in front of other police forces when you act like him sharing information is so terrible and annoying. fucking stop it! let him talk! and i'm talking mostly to jj bc despite the fact she's supposed to be so close to reid she literally does this to him almost every time he opens his mouth and it's fucking annoying!!!!!!!

[velvetvexations]

oh hi other anon no i didn't read any other anons on velvets blog specifically really i just saw we are talking about nonbinsry stuff that tumblr is talking about alot right now and wanted to weigh in with why it's frustrating and confusing to me!

i don't really want to say any one is "worse" at all! actually the reason i get frustrated is because how it's explained to me is that attributing a lot of things to exorsexism are claiming they're "worse" just automatically because that's claiming they don't affect binary trans people or theyre easier to deal with for them. like for example if i talk about how im treated better at the Dr's now that im pretending im binary trans as something thats exorsexist, that's saying im treated better because im lying about being binary trans. and i am lying to be treated better, but it isn't because binary trans people are treated better because there's no way to tell who's binary and who's not and so binary trans people are the same as nonbinary in this case.

and also ive been told binary trans people aren't treated better anyway, like that in the housing program they would also have been not allowed in, and me getting into the program by saying im binary trans and other things ive experienced like the Dr's is based on something else that's a coincidence that's related to me lying about being a binary trans person, but not about anyone being binary or nonbinary at all? but nobody will tell me what that thing IS. but i do believe what everyone is telling me that if a real binary trans person lived my life they'd experience the exact same things and not even be able to get out of it by changing what they say their identity is like i did (which i guess means it's kind of a privilege since a binary trans person couldn't do it?), but i don't understand WHY, yknow? like WHY does me pretending to be binary trans make me safer but for a real binary trans person they experience all the stuff i was experiencing when i was out as nonbinary? that's such a weird social phenomenon and i want to understand the rules and have words to talk about it.

but even the people explaining this stuff on tumblr never talk about how to talk about how to think about it instead, just that the popular way of thinking about it where nonbinary has oppressions binary doesn't is transphobic by lumping together trans and cis people as being oppressors (which ahain i understand and i don't wanna say it so i want new ways of thinking that help me talk about my personal experiences that don't imply they're because im nonbinary or because im pretending to be binary, and actually descrine whats really happening to me, because i think i dont understand what is happening to me at all since how i feel about it conflicts with how transphobia really works).

how you feel doesn't conflict with how transphobia "really" works, that's just transphobia working in a different way

trans people aren't oppressors just because they can be exorsexist just like trans women aren't oppressors because they can be transandrophobic or trans men aren't oppressors just because they can be transmisogynistic

binary trans people aren't the authors of your experiences so like straight up you should stop listening to them to the extent that you do tbh they're just wrong about some things and that's okay, it's not bad of you to recognize yourself as more of an authority on non-binary issues than they are

[usercelestial]

okay putting my real and comprehensive opinion on bvddie here even though no asked just because i feel like i dont make it very clear

i ship bvddie but i do not think its happening, i lost hope for it around season 5 when i dropped the show because i felt like we were constantly being baited and tbh i couldn't stand what the fandom was. thats mostly why i dont post bvddie a lot because ultimately i don't want to interact with the loudest portion of that fandom. after buck came out as bisexual, i stopped caring about it even more even though i still enjoy the idea of it because instead of just thinking about buck being queer, he actually was. first and foremost, i like canon queer representation so bucktommy obviously takes precedent because eddie isn't canonically queer (yet, idk, maybe tim minear will pull a fast one on us). i care way more about hen and karen than i do about taylor/lucy, even though i like both ships. i'm okay with criticism of it, especially of the fandom because to be honest, i do think it's fair to call bvddie theories ridiculous and out there because they kind of are, BUT i don't think it hurts anyone to think that or hold out hope, and it's nice to see speculation and theories bc thats what fandom is all about. that couch theory still has a hold on me even though i dont think it's intentional lol. i don't think it's okay to directly make fun of any bvddie for having crazy theories because we've all had ships that make us crazy and thats okay. the exception here is if that particular bvddie is making fun of bvcktommys for their theories n stuff because at that point its hypocrisy. this goes both ways. if you're gonna come up with a crazy theory, you can't look at other people's crazy theories and claim any high ground there, which is unfortunately something i see a lot in both fandoms.

although one thing i will not do is say "well both sides are equally bad" because objectively bvddies have been around a lot longer and done much worse things. that doesn't mean bts are all innocent either however, one ship clearly has dominance over this fandom and has a large, extensive track record of harassing actresses/generally being aggressive about their ship before bt ever even happened. so there are many, many more cases of those shippers feeling threatened and lashing out unfairly while the others are often just acting out of defense. if there's a bully on the playground picking on someone else, and that person kicks them in the shin, i'm obviously going to hold the bully much more accountable for their behavior than i am for the kid defending themself. while that's obviously not always the case, (i've blocked my fair share of bvcktommy girlies for being weird about female love interests) when it comes to the "both sides" argument, we literally just know that's not true. also most of the shit said about tommy by antis is deeply homophobic so jot that down.

tbh i think being anti bt is much more egregious than being anti bvddie because that's actual queer rep that you're bashing and hoping dies. but there's a difference between being "anti" anything and just not liking it and thinking its annoying.

at first i think i understood it because i think bvddie kind of was the underdog when it first started bc it's was non canon queer ship between two canonically straight characters but thats obviously not true anymore and hasn't been for a while. bvddie has the attention of the actors, has the positive acknowledgement of journalists that get to directly interview those actors, and has the popularity within the fandom. so it's kind of just punching down at other ships at this point, especially ones including female characters who already don't get a lot of development.

that being said, again, I STILL LIKE BVDDIE, and have plenty of bvddie mutuals that i love so i try to avoid the generalization of "ALL bvddie shippers are like this 🙄" because obviously thats not true and there's nothing wrong with shipping bvddie obviously lol it's just a ship and a cute one at that. i think its ridiculous to care that much about hating a ship you just don't like that much, which is fine but like i think many ppl in this fandom need to take several steps back and realize it's not that fucking deep, just like the things you like and leave everyone else alone.

tldr: i like bvddie but im not gonna avoid criticizing a big part of that fandom. ultimately i think ship wars are silly and i don't really understand them. i like queer representation and i like queer headcanons but im not gonna hold out hope for anything. im very ship and let ship until you start to be a dick about other people shipping and then i think you deserve to be called out, especially if you're actively being homophobic/misogynistic/racist. also i think bvddietommy should be endgame lol, let chris has THREE dads and then everyone's happy :D

edit: oh and obviously i like bvcktommy if that wasn't abundantly clear lol

[cynamonowo]

multiples of 3, datomi <3

i love you so much bestie <3 this is gonna be super long (so under the cut it goes) And. kind of based in my general "aini does not happen & they get to work things out" au lmao

ship ask game

3. What was their first impression of each other?

"oh god who is this man and why is he bleeding out at this shrine" "oh god is that an angel that's going to take me to see baby jesus"

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

hitomi probably talks about what both of them did wrong bc adult communication!!! we're not teens anymore!! on the other hand i think date would first sulk then blame himself before being a grown up too lol

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

for hitomi it's probably just how date can get so focused on his work he forgets to care for himself. as for him, it's probably hitomi's tendency to keep secrets & refuse help

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

*gestures in the direction of aini* yeah no i think they're very independent but date can get like that r/ambien "i miss my wife :(" post lmao

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

oh man... mogło być nic, heart of wool, and boats & birds

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

omg date would probably either minimize his suffering bc there's Stuff to be Done, Or be a total drama queen. in both cases hitomi's very exasperated but fond. when she's ill though, date's probably losing his mind and having aiba check on her every other minute while he reads the entire webmd site

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

very much so! i think that after the resolution route date cuts down on his cabaret club outings bc he feels So Old. and after they start dating they go out sometimes but also like to chill inside, clean/cook together, drink some wine, and watch a movie or smth :3

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

actually i think they're more similar than ppl think! both are very determined and family-oriented, have a tendency for self-sacrifice, and like to joke around (hitomi's jokes are more subtle though lmao).i think they mostly differ when it comes to impulsivity - date's that kind of person to act first and think second lol

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

mm i think it's mostly through doing little things for each other, like hitomi making a cute bento box for date, and him making her tea just the way she likes it (piping hot)

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

gestures above. acts of service i think. a bit of quality time and physical touch as well (date never passes an opportunity to Grab A Boob), but mostly just ensuring the other's life goes as smooth as possible bc boy howdy they've been through some shit

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

date probably makes a lot of innuendo heavy jokes that hitomi pretends not to understand so he can embarrass himself while explaining lmao but tbh i can't imagine them flirting that much. they don't really need to

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

"we have two very lively daughters, that's enough lmao" (plus like. i think they only start actually dating after a few years, so both are in their forties & there's much lower chance to have a kid even if they tried. if smth happened they'd probably be happy to have a child together)

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

it probably took a veeery long time for them to feel comfortable with saying it out loud (but they knew. they knew), so maybe 2 yrs after getting into a relationship? and tbh i think hitomi said it first & date bluescreened at this. she loves him. she really loves him, despite everything. he's crying.

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

haha yeah about that. (boss & hitomi text often though. mostly worrying about date. disaster man.)

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

oh i think they support each other by just. being there for one another. doing little things to cheer up the other one, asking how to help, bouncing ideas off of each other. but when it gets Harder i think both of them (mostly date) bottle things up a lot until the other one (mostly hitomi) gets too worried to let that slide.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

:( p sure they'd be afraid of considering an actual future together when you take into account What Happened Last Time (and in aini :// ), so it'd take like. a few good years until they feel comfortable enough to assume they wouldn't get separated again...

[kyogre-blue]

Doing Golden Slumber on my alt for... furnishing reasons, mostly. 

Surprising that wind gliders seem to not be an international thing? Yes, the desert has long flat stretches, but there’s a lot of cliffs too, so you’d think the eremites would be familiar with them. And no, you don’t need a Vision to operate one. Former ill girl Anna in Mondstadt gets a gliding license after becoming an adventurer, and she’s just an NPC. 

This, combined with how Tirzad’s sister worked on the Scarlet Sand Slate, which is also the same research that Jebrael’s wife was pursuing (with the same slate??) made me sure that they’d turn out to be the same person. I am still shocked that this isn’t the case. 

I wonder if that was the plan originally but the writer changed it later? 

Given how Jeht is dragged into the Tanit mess because she has nowhere else to go, I suppose they couldn’t have given her this long-lost relative on the side while still barreling into that plot. Tirzad is a spineless little weaner, but tbh I think he’d still be better than the Tanit. 

(fun fact I just found out from the wiki: Jeht is mentioned in some notes you can find in 3.6, which says she’s formed her own mercenary group to hunt down that blind dude from the falcon world quest. That’s something, I suppose, though not really the direction I’d want for her)

I missed screenshotting this in-game because I’m buttonmashing most of the time, but I did a double-take when I processed this properly. 

The traveler has a backpack?? And that’s where we’re keeping our carrots and cabbages? 

Combined with Venti citing no pockets as a reason for why he misplaced his invitation during Irodori and Enjou knowing how much mint we’re carrying around, it seems like the thing with characters being able to pull out stuff (including weapons) from some pocket dimension is not an actual thing that exists in Teyvat and is rather just a player-only visual shorthand. 

Well, not that you can entirely trust quests to correctly give worldbuilding details. See: GAA 1 Paimon not knowing what waypoints are until you activate one on the island, while in the very next patch, Katheryne cites you using them to teleport around as an obvious thing. 

This is so weird to me, in light of Dirge of Bilqis. 

Look at this thoughtful, gentle perspective on the desert. Jeht loves it, she loves the sand and sees hope in the desert. Look at the significance she gives Benben. Look at how kind she is even to Tirzad. 

I know you can say that her time with the Tanit made her change, but it just doesn’t feel like two parts of the same story. 

I really, really wonder if Jeht was not originally part of the Tanit plotline and got written into it at a fairly late point for some reason. Maybe she replaced a separate character that was originally supposed to be a new NPC? There’s several reasons I could imagine as to why this might have been decided on...

But I suppose there’s no way to know. 

At the start of the quest, Tirzad refused to even consider taking opinions from non-academics, so he’s... slowly growing... VERY slowly. (This is at the double pyramid, so still only like halfway through.)

One thing I do like is that Paimon and Traveler are very able to call out that Tirzad is annoying and just plain wrong. Jeht and Jebrael don’t hold back either, and Jeht is the one who is generally portrayed as the middle ground, “correct” option in the NPC group, so this is pretty much writer-endorsed. 

This is really nice compared to Liloupar in Dirge, who gets maybe a couple half-hearted admonishments about calling everyone servants or worse and suggesting they should be in chains. 

Seriously, how are these two quests supposed to be two parts of one story...

I wouldn’t call Golden Slumber unapologetically hard-hitting, but it’s obvious enough with what it shows that you can’t call it accidental. It definitely wanted to say that academics steal from native people and are barely different from Treasure Hoarders in the worst case, that they make unfounded assumptions and refuse to consider any alternative perspectives, that they are prejudiced against native people, rude and entitled... Seriously, this is spelled out directly. 

It’s a hell of a thing, compared to Dirge of Bilqis and the Tanit. Man. 

Anyway, I got the furnishing I wanted, so we’ll see how much I manage to progress after this. 

[iphoenixrising]

DickTim Week 2021: Day 5 Winged!Talon Tim au

So. another dual prompt and I really regret nothing about this one tbh. I took tomorrow’s Talon and today’s Wings and made a Winged!Talon!Tim fic. Of course, I talked to the wonderful babes on Capes & Coffee about a what if combination and this just, whew. Careful, it might break your heart a little, but damn if it isn’t an interesting idea.

Not beta read, so don't be a hater :D

Previous Talon!Tim universe posts: The initial idea, Babe and I talking it out, Talon Training Ask, Ra’s vs the Court, Talon and Ra’s, Talon and Ra’s take 2, Talon and Shiva short.

**

Watching B take on the new and improved Talon is really the entertainment of the year.

Once upon a time it had taken all of them plus more to take down as much of the Court of Owls as humanly possible. Of course, like rats, the Bats knew there would be no way to get the entire Court or all the Talons, not when the upper echelons of Gotham had spent the better part of 200 years creating, storing, training, and obtaining more.

Politicians were investigated, corrupt cops removed, and criminals burrowed underground once word of what the capes did to save the day got passed around.

For the first time in years, crime in Gotham was at an all time low.

But, as the coin flip dictates, nothing good lasts forever. Trouble is always brewing below the surface to eventually rise to the top and try to take over.

Case in point:

The Bats of Gotham have come up against a new threat wearing the signature Talon armor, and the call goes out to all available capes for help taking on the undead mercenary before another crime family ends up in the Obituaries rather than Blackgate.

The fact the Court is still up and running after the Batfamily took them down in a fiery blaze that ended with all their Talons gone, Sensei exposed, and most the ruling families imprisoned or poisoned by Lincoln March, is like a kick to the abdomen after they closed that particular book. Worse, with a new Talon soldier is sighted running around Gotham, another circus kid has been kidnapped and turned into the right hand of the Court of Owls. Dick, with his absolute survivors guilt, is the one to make going after the Talon and whoever is still behind the scenes a top priority.

Which is how they find themselves in the middle of Knight’s Stadium facing down a Talon that is too short to be March. Red Hood, Nightwing, Robin, Batgirl, and Black Bat pretty much got their asses handed to them in the first twelve minutes. Pretty hard to understand until you take into account the new and improved Talon facing them now is terrifying in a completely different way than most undead assassins are.

He knows them.

He knows them in ways that lets him fight fast and furious with vicious accuracy, striking at weaknesses few of the vigilantes of Gotham realized they even had.

He isn't as big as Lincoln or even Cobb, not nearly as old. He hasn't been kept in cryostasis waiting for the next generation to need his skills. He doesn't have creaks in his joints from being put on deep freeze too many times.

This one is silent and efficient, obviously trained in multiple types of martial arts, is highly proficient with or without the standard Talon knives, is a master tactician, counters the majority of their moves with alarming consistency–

and the fucking Talon has wings.

Honest-to-God wings.

Everyone had assumed the metal monstrosities on his back were weapons of some kind, but the glint of steel in the streetlight flash a warning before the lumps moved in an arch, extending far out past his shoulder blades, slicing into Red Hood’s body suit with a razor-sharp edge, shredding the armor like paper.

It’s not enough he’s got weapons obviously made specifically for his skill set, it’s not enough he’s an assassin and doesn’t hold to the same standards of non-lethal combat, it’s not enough that he can use his wings to fly or to fight like he’s using another limb to kick the shit out of them, and it’s not enough that he effortlessly counters so many of their attacks that he has to have some kind of inside information on all of them and their fighting styles.

The knives are definitely a thing when the Talon can throw them hard enough to penetrate parts of their suits in between armored plating, which further drives the theory that this is a person they’ve dealt with before. Intimately. Few people in the world know how their suits are made. Even more, few people know particulars enough when their suits are constantly reconstructed.

The only thing on their side that tipped the scales in their favor–

–the Batman.

The wings threw him off his game, obviously, but not enough to stop B from holding his own with swift and merciless force.

It's like watching a dance of fast and furious fists, blades in Talon's hands glinting deadly in the night, finding B's suit over and over and over until he's made it to blood and bone. He takes every hit the Batman can dish out, head snapping back, left, and right with the volley of jaw-breaking blows and bone-shattering kicks.

None of it gives the Talon pause. When a move makes him drop a blade, another is already in hand, cutting into their body suits, wings flipping out to defend or distract, sweeping moves and well coordinated attacks.

The unnatural appendages are like another arm, another leg, an extension working on the same central nervous system, regardless as to how the Court managed to make it happen.

A jump kick off a trash can is a lucky shot as a wing catches B in the ribs hard enough to knock him into the wall of Mike's Famous Hotdogs. The only thing saving the Dark Knight from a concussion or permanent brain damage is the plating in his cowl.

It gives the Talon enough time to make a final bid for a battered Nightwing, Red Hood, and Robin struggling to their feet again, eyes for their fallen mentor.

Before he can lunge forward to start the attack yet again, the Talon just stops, pauses like he’s stuck or something, and in the span of a breath, both wings extend fully, flap powerfully once to propel him up into the Gotham night.

O tries her best to track his flight through the city, but no one’s arms are working well enough to toss a tracker on him.

She loses him over Cape Carmine, slams her palms against her system in frustration, makes sure she gets as much footage from the confrontation as possible.

After some sleep and a whole lot of bandages and ice packs, the Bat family meets in the Cave to watch the footage, breakdown the Talon’s fighting style, his weaponry, and make theories on his identity.

O helps out with readings she has of electronic pulses she managed to capture coming from the armor over his wings. She thinks she might be able to use it to track him if they can get close enough for her equipment to ping the signal again.

B makes a trip to Arkham since Freeze apparently hasn’t stopped producing the formula used to put Talons in cryostasis.

It’s not until Gotham’s power grid has a massive surge that O and the Bats can pinpoint a possible location, all of them invested in one hell of a fight to get the last rats still scurrying in the underground.

The plan of attack comes together smoothly once they’ve scoped out the location, seen the shady activity, and together, they make one hell of a plan.

**

And because, you know, Gotham, it is completely normal for the Court of Owl's headquarters to have a skylight.

Natch.

For this one, they've got Batgirl and Black Bat, Red Hood and Robin, Nightwing and B, a real family affair.

O's quiet voice over comms leading them through the maze of traps and empty rooms, abandoned libraries and spooky ball rooms. The laboratory isn't the most horrific they've all ever seen (because the Joker's summer place is literally the stuff of nightmares), but a few of them do gag on the smell alone.

The plan, however, goes horribly awry when the clear sounds of tormented screaming echoes from right under their reinforced bootheels.

Black Bat's fists clench hard, her breathing wheezes out when the tone, the utter agony goes right through her.

A shudder slides up Robin's spine as all of them turn toward the noise.

Without a flicker or a word, the Batman moves, strafing in the shadows toward the sound. He can't assume it's an innocent civilian with something the Court wants, but he's betting on the fact that scream will lead them to whoever is running the show.

The medieval room has bars and reinforced locks, implements hanging on the wall. The cement brick is stained rust colored with old blood, the vestiges of training, and the awful realization they've found another hidden niche in the city that always existed right under their noses is punctuated with the abrupt drop in temperature, with the sudden charge in the air, with the zzzzcrack snapping beyond the door, replaced with a muted buzzing Robin can feel in his back teeth.

B is already on his way to the roof, Batgirl down through the floor vent while Nightwing picks the locks with fast precision, knocking the tumblers around.

Robin and Red Hood stay close to the reinforced door, balancing on the balls of their feet, katana and .45s at the ready.

Black Bat takes the high road, ceiling tiles giving way under her Bat-a-rang. She gives a sharp nod before she's up and gone.

"All right. Ready?" Nightwing stands, cracks his neck, flips his escrimas in both hands, works his shoulders to prepare for the strain of each blow he plans to give.

"Ya betcha ass," Hood murmurs low, a cut figure with both guns at his sides, gloved fingers on the trigger guard.

"Don't disappoint," Robin snarls, "either of you."

"Nice pep talk, squirt," Nightwing snickers.

"Tt, back up your mouth with action."

"Better shuddap, Demon. Golden Boy ain't fuckin' 'round. Neither is the Bat. We get one more chance a' this asshole. We ain't gonna blow it again, ya feel me?"

"Finally, something we agree on, Hood."

"Other than N's shitty mullet?"

Nightwing swiftly glares at them both over his shoulder, unconsciously putting himself front and center of the trio, ready to be the first in once they get the signal.

– which is the sound of the glass raining down from the heavens.

Three booted feet kick the door hard enough to take it off the hinges, lying against the faded stains like a fallen body.

First step in the room is the complete opposite to what they'd all been expecting.

The two Owl masks aren't the usual, but a perversion of the originals, crudely drawn yawning mouths complete with fangs dripping blood.

But.

The boy on his knees, arms in a binder holding the appendages hostage at a painful angle, is dripping the real thing. Rivulets down his chest and where his back is partially visible. Some from the base of the wings going into the back of his shoulder blades where the skin is torn and raw.

The bar gag shoved in his mouth doesn't take away from the splatters on his chin, the bruising on his face, the swollen eye. But it's his wings that makes the Bats falter from the initial rushing attack.

His wings are without the armor, are bound straight up above his restrained body with hooks grotesquely puncturing through the downy softness, desecrating the beauty with blood and gore. The angle makes the pull to his back where the wings are part of him just another agony on top of atrocity.

"Fuck," from the first Owl mask, and a swift move frees the Talon's bound arms, the appendages flopping uselessly to the floor, only his trapped, tortured wings keeping him up on his knees.

The second Owl shoves the first back, "let him take care of them. Let's get out of here!"

The first Owl snarls out something low and foreign, the phrases rolling off his tongue.

The words lock into place, and the Talon's head snaps up, snarling around the gag in his mouth.

When his face is finally, finally visible, the protectors of Gotham are frozen in their tracks.

Familiar violet-blue eyes, too-long blue-black hair, cut jawline and pointed nose. Tiny scar on his right cheek from the time he caught Ra's al Ghul's ring across the face.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," is barely heard through the Red Hood's synths and in no way fully expresses his utter horror at what these dirty motherfuckers have done.

Robin wretches, bile burning the back of his throat once those eyes swing up to the masked parody of the Owls and his bare upper body is visible through the blood and sweat on his chest, when the scars peeking through on his collar bones form a half-visible Y-incision, when the coloring of the bared wings now makes sense (robin's wings, Damian Wayne thinks with his heart beating pitter patter fast, and his stomach in knots, they put robin's wings on him...).

And the hurt, agonized noise coming out of Nightwing's chest is the only noise he can make when those dimmed, dazed eyes swing from the Owls back to the vigilantes frozen in their spots, when there's no spark of joy or fondness or stubbornness he's so used to seeing staring him down.

The errant thought, the first instinct, is the only humane way to deal with this new Talon is to put him down for good wars with the man behind the mask that only wants to reach out, wants to pull the Talon into his body and curve over, to scream at the injustice of it all, to rail at himself for not even suspecting.

Another switch flipped and the hooks release his wings, blood splattering on top the old stains.

"Get them! Don't fuck it up this time or you won't get another chance," the second Owl shoves the Talon's injured shoulder in the direction of the horrified vigilantes.

They don't even bother to take the gag out of his mouth before setting him on his target.

A flap of wings, and the Talon is on his feet again, swaying only slightly. He's in the boots and pants from earlier, the rest of his uniform tossed carelessly behind him by his tormentors. A sweep of his feet and the knives glint in bare palms, a whisper of a sound.

The curved, clawed blade glints in the overhead light when the Talon raises it and cuts the strap of the bar gag in his bloody mouth, turns his head to spit it out without looking away from the vigilantes.

The Batman, grim and stoic in the face of this surprising turn of events, gives the barest nod. From her hiding spot behind the complex machinery, Black Bat takes off after the running Owl members, leaving the rest of the family to deal with their former third Robin.

The wings flinchingly flare out and their former bird hunches over, ready for the attack.

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait,” the Red Hood removes the helmet, leaves the domino underneath. He keeps one hand out in peace, slowly dipping down to put his helmet on the ground. “Is us, Tim. Timmy. Baby Bird. Is us. Yer family. Gotta lookit us, yeah?”

For the first time, the Talon speaks, “who’s Tim?”

And then he lunges.

**

The fight happens very differently this time.

The former power behind the punches is obviously dulled with the Talon’s identity reveal. He doesn’t hold back, is utterly ruthless with his attacks. He takes out B’s right knee, puts Hood down on the stained floor, knocks Robin into the wall with crushing force, and slams Batgirl’s head off the operating table.

He stands over Nightwing, wicked blade in hand and robin’s wings spread wide. He takes a knee, the sharp edge right above N’s adam’s apple, staring down impassively into the whiteouts.

“Timmy,” N spits blood, grunting when one knee pins his arm down. “Timmy, please. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I love you and I’m sorry they did this to you.”

Those eyes don’t change in the slightest. “You should not have tried to oppose the Owls.”

“We beat them once,” Nightwing gasps, “and you helped us, Baby Bird. You were with us then, don’t you remember.”

“I was nothing before the Court perfected me,” the Talon replies emotionlessly.

“You were perfect before they ever touched you.”

“No,” and the Talon leans down, puts them a breath away. “The only thing you and those others do is put the criminals back in prison, back in Arkham for them to escape again, for them to kill and destroy over and over again. Like this, I can stop them permanently.”

“Oh Timmy,” and behind the whiteouts, Nightwing’s eyes spill over, his vision wavery. “Timmy–”

“Don’t call me that. Stop calling me that.”

“You know me, you know us. You have to remember–”

“Lies. All of it lies!”

Nightwing’s chest stutters, his fist clenching, “it’s not. None of it is. Not even this–”

And he’s fast enough to grab the back of the Talon’s neck, to lean up enough against the blade pressed against his throat, can bring their mouths together, can kiss him like he’s dying and the Talon is the only thing that can save him.

It’s sloppy and awkward because the Talon doesn’t know what’s happening, gasps against the vigilante’s mouth. The tongue sliding over his, the muffled moan in his mouth sparks something in the back of his brain where the Court of Owls could never touch.

When Nightwing pulls back, stares up at wide violet-blue eyes, when the blade falls away to clatter against the block, when the Talon’s mouth trembles and tears fill his eyes, when his wings flutter and falter, fold in on them both, when his voice goes hoarse with, “D-Dick?” Nightwing throws both arms around his waist and holds on.

[soulvomit]

This is just too long and nuanced to get into in one go, when I don’t have the time. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about. I’m a bisexual who dated guys as a teen, then mostly dated women in much of my 20s and 30s, and there are huge reasons I didn’t date men. Then in my 40s I got with the dude I’ve been with for the past 5 years (longest relationship) but it followed a completely different pattern and set of expectations than any other relationships I’d had with men, and I’m reflecting on this a bit.   Part of the reason I didn’t date men is because I liked being in a social dynamic with both women and men where I wasn’t seen as a potential hetero romantic partner by men - part of me felt like I could be seen as a potential partner OR seen as an equal, but not both. (This was especially bad when I was younger. It got better over time.) But even more, I wanted to be seen as off-limits to men by the women that my male coworkers were married to. I liked having actual platonic friendships and professional associations with men and being able to have intellectual conversations with them, and I liked women not seeing me as a threat. It’s weird that I feel like I identified as a lesbian for a long time at least partly for the benefit of heterosexuals.  But the biggest thing was that I just didn’t LIKE dating men. It wasn’t that I didn’t like individual men so much as all the SOCIAL STUFF that ANY men just came wrapped up with and part of it is because of the weird mores of my family. The thing is that dating men was just so FRAUGHT. It was wrapped up in all kinds of public moral performativity in my family and older people of my culture and local community, and it didn’t help that my mom was surrounded by gossips. Because my family refused to talk about or acknowledge the fact that I was dating women, it meant that dating women was treated as something relatively private and *for me* and that my family didn’t in any way intrude. It somehow didn’t seem “real” to them.  Whereas men were wrapped up with all kinds of weird, fraught traditionalist moralist stuff and dating any man (somehow, even if I lived a hundred miles away, if my family at all knew about it) meant that my family poked their nose in and felt it was Their Business. I’m realizing that some of the weird mores I grew up with around breakups (you shouldn’t be on good terms or even associate with an ex or be in a place where an ex is) and dating seem to be heavily based in the idea my mom had and some elders had where if sex happened in a relationship and the relationship broke up, or didn’t result in marriage, then this meant that the woman in the relationship had been “used.” Breakups were treated as something always Very Humiliating and not just relationships not working out. And that people would see the woman as slutty and that this was bad. Basically it all revolved around having to pretend to be a virgin, or to be as close to a virgin as possible. Also, the idea that it was humiliating to be a woman over 25 and be known to be unmarried, that if you were in a relationship (with a man, specifically) for a long time but weren’t married then it Looked Weird and other people Cared Very Much about how it looked. And any relationships a woman has that aren’t marriage Make Her Look Bad. 1) Like she wasn’t Good Enough to be a wife. (We need to talk about this because there’s a lot of hidden social class stuff in here. There is a lot about being “high class” enough to get married and it being seen as “low class” to NOT be married, let alone to be partnered but not married.) 2) Like HE wouldn’t marry HER (what if SHE was the one who didn’t want to get married? What if they love each other but just aren’t getting married for whatever reason? This was never considered. Marriage was ALWAYS evaluated like it was a woman winning a prize, or something a man offered a woman, and not a mutual decision between adults.) All of this is hardcore old school stuff.  A lot of this is why despite being bi, it was just much easier to date women. There is a lot of stuff I was able to keep out of my head dating women that I wasn’t able to while dating men. For one, my mom had absolutely no interest in any “non-conventional relationship” I had, absolutely didn’t want to hear about it. But my family intruded with men I dated like whoa, it was Very Much Their Business because they saw it as being their business who did or didn’t join the family and or how my behavior was going to make them look. (Somehow, being an androphile but not A Good Girl or properly married off, was morally worse than being in a queer relationship even though the whole reason a lesbian relationship was not seen as “the real thing” or the same kind of social threat was tbh homophobic.) Something changed in my 40s and all this social noise about marriage, who I was supposed to marry, etc, just evaporated. Suddenly I was free to date or fuck whoever I wanted to date or fuck. People just got off my case all of a sudden. The dynamics in my relationships with men changed overnight as soon as 1) I was no longer expected to be a virgin, 2) I was old enough for my teen/20something past to not matter (it was now half a life ago), 3) people no longer even expected me to get married.  What’s more is that people stopped even asking me when I was going to have children, or if. Everything I do stopped being evaluated in terms of what kind of example I might be setting for children that I’ve never had and will never have.  And poof, just like that, in my 40s, a ton of hangups and cares evaporated. I’m sure that 40something hormones may have something to do with it but I feel as if there are just a lot of social pressures that women in their 40s get let off the hook for. It’s only in my 40s that I feel like I’m free to be a fully sexual human being or own my sexuality or my body in any way, and it’s interesting to think about.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Not sure if you are still doing rankings. But I am watching 19 and I am also really enjoying your recaps of them as well. It has got me thinking about siblings. So I am wondering what is your ranking of sibling dynamics in the skamverse, you can include parental or found family dynamics if you want.

Hi anon 🍪 I was going to say this in response to another ask from a few weeks ago (about ranking Isak and Sana pairings), but it was one of those asks where I started replying and it got so long that I sent the ask to the drafts where it’s still chilling. My drafts folder is a boulevard of partially answered asks gvhvh.

But anyway, what I was gonna say then, is that I’m pretty much done ranking stuff across Skams. For a couple reasons, one being that now that 2 of the 3 remaining Skams are doing a new gen, the shows have gotten harder and harder for me to compare. Like, Skam France and Druck so obviously have completely different goals and execution, that it feels ridiculous for me to compare Daphné and Lola, and Kiki, Zoe and Nora. They were handled so differently that, unless I really love Daphné and Lola despite the skamfr of it all (which isn’t the case), the scales are massively tilted in Druck’s favor.

The other reason has to do with how to handle the top spots. And, in this case, I also find it unfair to compare, let’s say, Kiki, Zoe and Nora, and Fatou and Ilai. Because Kiki, Zoe and Nora are all central characters, whereas Ilai is a supporting character. And one of the biggest parts of Nora’s season was the relationship between all three sisters, whereas the Fatou-Ilai relationship is mostly there to give context to Fatou’s personality. So, sure, I can like Fatou and Ilai better, but Druck has dedicated a lot more time and effort to Kiki, Zoe and Nora.

(Edit!: I forgot to say this, but thanks for letting me know that you’re reading and enjoying my 19 recaps. I don’t mind not getting a ton of notes, because I know 19 doesn’t have a huge audience, but notes are kind of how I know the posts are reaching someone. So having a person say they’re reading and liking them goes a long way. 💛)

That being said, I will now go over the different sibling relationships in the Skams, and I’ll keep it to actual siblings, because if I start including parents and found family, this ask would be fated to the drafts folder lol.

I generally enjoyed these relationships:

Sana and Elias: they were the first sibling relationship in Skam, and I think it was a more or less good portrayal of a nuanced relationship, that isn’t all peace and love, but also not hate all the time. I liked Elias, as well as the attempt to develop him and his friends through Hei Briskeby.

Amira, Essam and Omar: Really more Amira and Essam, since Omar had such dad vibes that he really seemed to relate to his siblings more from a position of “ha ha these children are so moody!!” Essam was such an interesting character, and I’m disappointed that he got axed when Druck went in a different direction with their new gen. 

Kiki, Zoe and Nora: I mean, they’re iconic! Along with Viri’s “season”, I think s5 has been one of the best attempts to make up for the Vilde season we never got. I think all three characters could realistically take the Vilde role in a Skam version. Once Mamachwitz is out of the picture, Nora becomes less of a Vilde, but I do think she’s one in the first part of the season when she’s still living with her mom. I loved the way Druck explored how siblings come together and apart when their parent can’t parent. 

Fatou and Ilai: I like when these type of shows make it clear that the siblings are subject to their own pressures, I also experienced impostor’s syndrome at uni for a time, so I could relate to Ilai. I think Druck did well with the time they had to dedicate to this relationship.

Emma and Nora: This was Eskam utilizing all their braincells. I think Emma is such an important character, I love that eskam was very clear in not blaming Emma’s SA on her drinking or partying, and that it continued to not judge Emma as she partied and drank. They walked a fine line with showing that Nora knew it wouldn’t be Emma’s fault if something did happen to her, but also being worried that something would happen to her. Because it’s only human to worry even if you know the theory. It was also a great way to illustrate Nora’s struggle with knowing the theory and applying it.

I generally like these relationships:

Dani and Cris: I don’t like Dani, but I’m glad he was a source of support and love for Cris.

Dounia and Kasim: They had so much potential tbh, even in their actual incarnation as non hijabi but practicing Muslim, and gay Muslim who doesn’t practice but does take comfort in Islam. 

Yasmina and Elias: I mean, it’s wtfck. Elias will drop gendered slurs because the writers are useless. But they’ve had a couple conversations so far, which is nice. It’s nice that wtfck is giving their relationship facetime.

I can’t really comment on Daphné and Lola, nor Sana and Rami from Skam Italia.

I didn’t like these relationships:

Eleonora and Filippo: I mean, I didn’t watch their Eleonora season, so that’s one strike. But the other is that Iiii hate it when the Skams make the William fight about fighting homophobes. And then Skam Italia took it a step further by wanting to be “nuanced” by making Eleonora’s brother be gay, so she’d look even worse for not approving of Edoardo fighting homophobes. Also, Filippo looked younger than half the teen cast, so lol.

Imane and Idriss: I fucking hate that Idriss took Ingrid’s side in the Ingrid/Imane fight. There are two special seats in hell reserved for David H and Niels.

Nora and Sporty Spice: I realize that they don’t know they’re twins separated at birth, but still, you’d think Sporty Spice would be less creepy about his sister. 

[deejadabbles]

Crimson Portrait (Seto Kaiba x Reader)

So as I said in my drabble a couple days ago, I’m wanting to write some short fics to get back into the swing of things and I wanted to gift said drabbles to some mutual I adore. Next on my list is @ohyema​ the top Vampire and Yugioh enthusiast on this site! I’m sure you’ve all seen her amazing art floating around already, but in case not please check out her stuff (and reblog the heck outta it!), the way she colors her pieces and adds dramatic flair is something I aspire to tbh <3 

For this fic I decided to spread my proverbial wings and write Seto for a change (don’t get used to this though, Kaiba fans, I’m still not a Kaiba stan lol) and I hope you enjoy our dark, mysterious blood thirsty, CEO ;)

You gulped, eyes traveling up the metal and glass of the building as though counting each towering floor would make it any less intimidating. It wasn’t just the size, of course, it was the marble path spread out in front of the entry, it was the literal red carpet on the other side of doors- it was the gold etching and suited man around said doors! You found yourself clutching the portfolio case under your arm even tighter to your chest. Subtle lights brightened the edges of the building, though you were sure they were meant to make it shine like a beacon of wealth at night, rather than give it any cheer or levity. 

This was by far the fanciest place you had ever been and the doorman casting a glance at you made you tug at your clothes for probably the seventeenth time since heading here. The outfit was fine, you reminded yourself; professional, but simple. Nothing that would impede your movements and work, all while still being close enough to your true fashion to offer you some self assurance. And you needed every ounce of self assurance possible right now.

After taking in a long, deep breath and straightening your posture, you started for the door. Despite the high chance that he was suspicious of you, the doorman pulled on the finely crafted handle and allowed you entry with a polite bow, nothing less. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to acknowledge him, but you returned the silent respect automatically. Then again, it didn’t really matter if you broke etiquette, you weren’t the high-class that lived here anyway.

The lobby was just as fancy as the outside. Your shoes clicked on more marble floors, and rich colored walls wearing frames of fine art surrounded you. There was a large wooden desk to one side, and the receptionist behind it clocked you as a non-resident, because she instantly greeted you with a “can I help you, miss?”

“Um- yes! Yes, I’m here to visit Mr. Seto Kaiba?” you followed the claim with your name and silently praying that was all you needed. The only way you were getting passed the front desk was if Kaiba (or his assistant) left your name with the attendant.

With a polite smile plastered on her face, she nodded and typed something quick on a computer obscured by the large backing of the desk. “Ah yes, Mr. Kaiba is expecting you. Please take the center elevator, he’s on floor 40.”

She waved her hand to the other side of the lobby, where three elevators with doors as clean and reflective as new mirrors stood. You gave her a quick thank you before following her instructions. The inside of the elevators were just as polished, the metallic sides reflecting your image. 

As the floors passed by, you checked to make sure the journey here hadn’t ruffled your appearance any, tucking hairs back into place, swiping your hand over the pristine portfolio briefcase, tugging at your hems yet again. You almost jumped when the elevator dinged, announcing your arrival at the top floor. You waited a few heart beats, long enough to start worrying you had the wrong floor- until it finally slid open.

The apartment was dimly lit, all the ceiling lights set to a dull, intimate glow one might see in a fancy bar. Then a different wave of nerves overcome you, hopefully this guy didn’t have the wrong idea of what service you were providing. 

“Are you going to come in, or continue wasting my time?”

You did jump that time, especially with how impatient the deep rumble of a voice sounded. With hurried steps you entered the apartment and ventured down the short hallway, following the voice. The hallway quickly opened into an expansive room, a couch, coffee table, TV, and desk on one side, and a kitchen, breakfast bar, dining table, and wet bar on the other. On the living room side, where the desk’s back sat, there was a large floor-to-ceiling window, the curtains pulled back to reveal the spiderweb of city lights and life beyond. 

Of course, what really drew your attention was the man standing in front of the window.

He hadn’t turned from the view to look at you let alone greet you, hands tucked in his pockets as he watched the pulsing city life. He wore a white suit, with a blue button-up shirt and a dark blue tie, making for nice, clean lines for your portrait. Seto Kaiba. A household name in most countries, the secretive CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world who’s fame for innovation was only matched by his notorious hermit tendencies. He appeared on magazines often enough, but many pointed out that they were likely deliberate presentations to the world. Deliberate to alleviate rumors because, besides them, neither Kaiba nor his younger brother were ever seen out in public and even rather rarely in their own corporate buildings.

You weren’t exactly someone who bought into that celebrity gossip, but it was still rather surreal seeing him in person like this.

“You can set up on the other side of the desk,” he started, still not turning from the window. “This is the background I want, I expect you to be able to handle it considering the portraits on your online portfolio.”

You tried not to gulp, “Of course, but it may take me an extra session or two to get the details.”

“As long as it’s done before I return to Domino,” he answered in a drawl, then, finally turned to face you. He placed a slender hand on the back of the leather desk chair, and you quickly made yourself busy with setting up. 

You felt that nerve-wracking, almost burning sensation of eyes watching you, and you could just imagine the icy blue of the eyes, remembering how Kaiba’s gaze always pierced through the magazine covers and into the viewer. Instead of thinking of how hawk-like he was watching you, you focused on how challenging and fun it will be to capture that quality in your painting.

Once your blank canvas was set up and your tools were spread out, ready for use, you finally locked eyes with the man. “I’m ready when you are, Mr. Kaiba, please take whatever pose you feel most comfortable with.” You had to ignore the shiver that ran down your spine, especially when he held your gaze for a moment more before finally shifting his stance.

After some verbal redirecting so his pose looked the best and got the key parts of the cityscape behind him, you actually got started on the canvas. Tokyo Tower stood like a sentinel behind him, making for nice framing, and he was a natural at posing, of course choosing one that was strong and commanding to the onlookers. 

It was quiet as you worked, he wasn’t playing any music, nor offering any chitchat. It was only then that you realized just how alone you two were in the penthouse, didn’t rich dudes like him have platoons of bodyguards?

Within the free seconds you had between maping your piece, your mind wandered back to the rumors surrounding the Kaiba family and their reclusiveness. Tales of Kaiba insisting on specially tinted windows for all his buildings and never being seen in the light of day led to some interesting ones. Mostly conspiracies about him being the secret illegitimate son of royalty, and inheriting hemophilia from said parentage. Now, noting how pale he looked against the background of vibrant city lights, you could slightly understand buying into that rumor. 

Not only that, but, the more glances you took while working, the more you noticed just how...sickly the man looked. His cheeks were a bit sunken, made worse by the dark circles under his eyes And on top of that, there was a sore redness around his eyes that was seeming to get worse every time you peered passed your canvas. None of his magazine pictures ever showcased these...unwell qualities. He must just be tired, you decided, being a CEO likely didn’t allow for much sleep, and here he was posing for a portrait late at night.   

You were just finishing up his outline when you decided attempt conversation. If he didn’t like it he would just tell you to shut up, after all.

“I was actually pretty surprised when you hired me, most people don’t bother with traditional portraits any more.”

There was awhile of silence, where Kaiba’s eyes flickered towards you before staring off to the other side of the room again. Your were just taking the mental note not to try a conversation again, when-

“It was my brother’s idea. I always look ahead, and cut out traditions and old ways that no longer serve me. But, he made the point that there are some classics still worth something. Besides, improving things like canvas portraits with modern settings was appealing.”

You found yourself smiling and nodding along, “Yeah, I really like the idea of having the city in the background, it’ll make for a really unique piece!” 

After picking your next brush, you peered over to refresh your mental image of the scene, only to find him staring at you again. His expression was rather indecipherable, and though his eyes were almost hooded the rest of his features were as blank as an empty page. Your heart was practically beating in your ears as you stayed transfixed in his gaze, which you swore were actually hued in red now, instead of solid icy blue.

A sound similar to a squeak, and you finally broke the contact to flick your gaze down to the hand resting on the back of the desk chair. His fingers were a sickly white, seeming to have no blood in them as his nails dug into the leather with a grip so strong he might be on the verge of puncturing the fabric.

Feeling that nervous heat again you quickly averted your gaze back to the canvas, even going as far as to shuffle behind it just slightly as though you could hide.

That didn’t help, much like when you were setting up, you could feel his gaze burning into you. Maybe he was offended, upset that you stared back at him, but he had no right to judge considering he was staring first! Seriously what was with this guy?

You weren’t sure how much time passed after that, it felt like an eternity but you were sure it wasn’t much longer than a half hour or so. You only stole glances at him when you absolutely felt like you had to refresh your mental image of the scene before giving another stroke of the brush. You avoided any eye contact even then and managed to skim over his face only once, during which you noted any previous color in his cheeks had vanished completely, but that was beside the point. You were just telling your brain to stop conjuring up theory’s on why he looked so sick and biting your tongue to keep from asking if he was alright when-

“We’re done for the night, you can continue tomorrow.”

If the sudden dismissal wasn’t enough to snap your attention back to him, the heavy breath within the words was. Your eyes snapped up to Kaiba and before you even registered his movement you were jumping from a harsh thud! He had removed his hand from the chair so swiftly that it spun and thudded into the desk with enough force to crack furniture of a lesser quality. 

Now Kaiba was pacing around his desk, gaunt jaw clenched so tight he might very well chip a tooth. Not wanting to argue with someone who apparently had the mood swings of an angst-ridden teen, you planned to start packing up without a word. However, just as he passed the coffee table, Kaiba took in a sharp breath and doubled over so fast he barely caught himself on the glass top.

Empathy won in a heartbeat and before you could reconsider you were by his side saying a frantic, “Are you okay? Mr. Kaiba you look sick, should I call a-?”

The concerned questions died in your throat and so too did a scream when something too red and too luminous to be eyes flashed up at you. The next moment something was wrapping around the prison that held your words and scream. The third moment your back was slammed none too gently into a wall you could have sworn was half a room away and a body colder than any you had felt before was pressing into you.

Eyes wide, body held still with fear, all you could do was take in a few shallow breaths as Kaiba’s mouth hovered over your neck. One heart thundering in your ears, two heartbeats, three-

But nothing happened. 

The hand pressing into your clavicle hadn’t tightened, and the mouth hovering dangerously close had not moved in for the kill (proverbial or otherwise), rather, Kaiba’s body seemed to be as frozen as yours.

Or at least you thought it was. A moment later you finally registered that Kaiba was shaking. Not violently by any means, hell, it was barely notable, but he was definitely shaking, as if he was trying to keep sickly shivers from wracking his body. His other hand moved up to grip your upper arm then, and his fingers were tight but not quite painful as he held you there.

“I shouldn’t have kept our appointment.”

The words were so shocking to your reeling mind that you almost didn’t register them. They were said lowly, in something akin to a growl or rumble.

“I should have told you to get out the moment I-”

Something on the other side of the condo sounded, a ding you had heard when first arriving on the floor, and not a second later footsteps were thundering.

“Seto!”

The youthful voice almost snapped you back to your sense enough to move, maybe even break free of his hold, but in that same moment  you felt something sharp graze the skin of your neck as Kaiba’s face turned to meet the newcomer.

Thankfully your recovered control wasn’t needed, as the moment Kaiba locked sites on the newcomer, he released his hold on you. In a fearful blink as you recovered your balance, you saw Kaiba make his way across the room faster than any human possible could.

That’s when you saw who had intervened; Mokuba Kaiba, the youth of the Kaiba empire. He was looking pale and worried, looking between his brother and you as Seto snatching something out of his hands. 

You caught the sight of something encasing red as Seto tore the package open, but he halted long enough to growl another command, “You need to leave, now.”

Your legs were finally able to move again, when you caught site of something that confirmed the impossible theories running though your head: sharp, pearly fangs were flashing between Seto’s lips.

[gayregis]

tbh as a polish person genuinely vibing with any kind of mostly english speaking witcher fandom is kinda hard bc theres just. so many small mistakes and just a feeling of Wrongness in the translation that couldve been fully avoided? like using womanizer instead of whoremonger for dandelion or saying comrade instead of friend etc and like im mad bc with some more effort it couldve been done way better and actually carried over more of the og atmosphere for international readers And It Didnt

i agree with you from the ‘can only read the english translations’ side. i feel like definitely the official UK translations shifted a lot of the meanings, of course i do not know how it is in every single scene, but from the lengthy posts i’ve read on reddit, some posts i’ve read on tumblr, and conversations i’ve had with mutuals over discord, plus just generally reading the books and saying to myself “wait, this doesn’t sound... cohesive?” i agree that are are a lot of changes that shift the perspective. 

one part of this is the deliberate mistranslation of general vocabulary used with the intention (i think) to give a more “medieval-ish fantasy” vibe to the work. i feel like david and danusia really went for some british slang that gives it a more “english medieval” feel (or at least, how medieval england is conceived of in the modern english-speaking imagination), when more widely-known words without such specific connotations (for the speaker and for the subject) would be more appropriate. 

for example, i have heard that a lot of the translations of “maiden” or “wench” are more akin to “girl/woman” in the original text. another example is “comely lad” VS “pretty boy,” two translations (the former official, the latter fan-translated) that mean the same thing essentially but the former one is “brit-ified” (to me, at least). and i know that sometimes the translators chose specific words to keep a “peasant-speak” vibe with the usage of specific language, for example, with milva, but instead of being confined to peasantry, it extends across a lot of characters. 

another part is figures of speech that don’t translate over due to being polish-specific idioms, or being reliant on the polish grammar structure. imo the translators are too eager to replace these with english figures of speech/idioms. a lot of the time when polish fans have pointed this out and said, this is different in the original text, the original idiom is so-and-so, which basically means this-and-this, i am able to understand the translated idiom, when it is in context. 

for example, i believe that in the english version of baptism of fire dandelion says to regis, “was it just you and your shadow?” and regis replies, “worse, i don’t even cast one.” but in the original text, the exchange goes something more like “were you drinking to the mirror?” “worse, i don’t even show up in mirrors.” the idiom “drinking to the mirror” meaning drinking alone does not exist in english, but it would have been at least a little obvious to me as a reader what the meaning of the idiom is. i suppose it is up to preference, but i would prefer to have the original figures of speech kept intact, with a little footnote at the bottom included for explaining context / what its meaning is.

another part is cultural references and history that end up getting lost. references to other works, etc. 

an example is in the edge of the world when torque says “good night” at the end to geralt and dandelion. without knowing the phrase, “where the devil says goodnight,” this is completely meaningless. and context about polish/broader european history is mostly also lost on a non-polish audience, because it is not something that is basic knowledge.

it doesn’t just extend to polish references, for example, regis quotes cicero quoting one of the seven sages, “omnia mea mecum porto,” basically “all that’s mine i carry with me,” which ig is a nod to how regis is a philosopher and lives simply, is a humanist, etc.

and this isn’t even beginning to touch all of the arthurian stuff he put in there.

mostly, i end up being clueless because i do not know what the original text was, and i know that if i could see the original text, i would not understand it and would need it explained to me. 

i guess a positive side of this is that i like uncovering what was originally said and hearing it explained, scouring the internet for someone who has addressed a specific passage or something... it helps foster some conversation, kind of like two kids comparing christmas presents - what’s in your translation? what’s in your translation? what’s in the original text? - it is fun to see everyone start posting pictures and screenshots of their books, like trying to unravel a mystery as a group, and i enjoy that, especially when there are more international translations than just polish original and english translation, i like seeing the czech, russian, spanish, french translations and then learning things from these languages/cultures/countries because they showed up in the text.

on the other hand, it hinders discussion because if people are operating on different translations, they will have widely different perspectives of the characters based upon what the characters said or how they were described. you are not the only person i’ve heard express this sentiment, and agreed that it’s difficult to “genuinely vibe” across language barriers regarding the series. polish geralt is a totally different character from english geralt, from what i’ve heard, to summarize it.

and even if you do research as an english-speaking person to find out the mistranslations, the meanings behind certain phrases or references, etc., you still will probably never understand it fully, nor will you uncover everything there is to uncover. 

i dislike leaving it like this, but it kind of “is what it is” with the language barriers and translations. a lot of the original atmosphere wasn’t and possibly will never be fully translated over (in some cases, it may be impossible). i would say don’t feel like you “have” to engage with every fan of the witcher books, if you feel you don’t vibe with english speaking witcher fandom that is okay and i hope that no one would judge you for it, everyone should hang out and talk with who they want to hang out and talk with. but i also get the disappointment because you want to connect, but there is just a lack of understanding. it shouldn’t be the burden to fall on you to be like, hey guys actually in the original text this scene is different / you’re misinterpreting this-- but if you ever want to say or make posts like this, i think this would be great and a contribution to the community. i would also say idk if it is possible if the interpretations are extremely different, but some broader themes like family, love, humanity, etc. imo do join the fans of the books in some way or another, big or small, despite how wonky the translations get. and finally, i want to say i am not here to give advice or consolation, because i certanly don’t know what can be done about this, i just want to respond to this and say that you’re not alone.

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl Reboot, Ep. 2 Reaction / Review

This was posted on reddit first, crossing posting it here since I’ve chosen to review the ep’s and post on tumblr as well. So, this post is geared more towards reddit as a whole, this was posted a day after ep 2 aired.

i don't have a favorite character rating but #teamaki, yeah, the acting is awkward but it's getting better and it's not like it's the only bad acting in the show. i like the character either way.

now

people are so extra with zoya and obie and are looking at julien with the rose colored classes. yeah, obie shouldn't be dating zoya but let's not act like julien gave her all and everything to him. from the conversation with zoya in ep 1, his general feelings, audrey calls it out (maybe because she always feels that way)

She admits it at the end, she wouldn’t do the things he wanted when it came to his interest, he’d want to do random and fun things and she’d blow him off...how is this mart of someone fully invested in their other, no, she was invested what he did for her and how he made her feel. She misses him because in their other breaks he’d always come back. We saw a dying relationship and ppl can assume a lot about him but make 0 assumptions when it comes to her.

And then y’all expect Zoya to turn down the one person who’s actually nice, doesn’t ice her out and shares interest? What I want more than anything is for Zoya to find her own friends & her romantic interest, just one episode where her life isn’t an extension of Julien's. Idk wut, maybe she can go off on a find out gossip girl adventure. Idk something.

Then this talk about sisters and sister hood. Yeah, they’re blood related but what sisterhood is there? You say that’s is wrong for Zoya to do that to her sister but what about what her sister did to her? Even in this ep, she wants Obie so instead of idk driving Zoya away from him, she attacks her lil ‘sis’ over her long time boyfriend. She continues to let her friends talk bad about the girl. We can talk sister hood when she gives the mean team a good “learn me or leave me” when it comes to Zoya

At the of ep 1 Zoya says, she’s not playing the game. She’s grounded in fear of losing her scholarship, has already lost her dads trust. So she does that, she keeps her head down and doesn’t bother anyone but it’s the mean team to prompt Julien to after Zoya and she does. She’s minding her business at the even and Julien is the one to storm over and cause a scene. And it’s all about her, she’s scared of her dad finding out without any care that Zoya has lost and what she has left to lose. Of course she doesn’t care about Julien personal problems? When did Julien care really about hers? Then, she wants to sneak away and have fun and because she’s mad Zoya won’t run off and hide like a hood little girl, she once again collabs with GG, brings in the dads and fucks her sisters life up, AGAIN. Yeah, she changed her mind at the end but too little too late. Her come to jesus moment was great but the relationship she wanted/wants it very much damaged.

So yeah, Zoya dating the one person who has empathy for her is not as bad as the older sister who consistently let her be talked down, about and two, plotted with GG and didn’t even ask her if she was okay because, she didn’t mean it, it’ll blow over. Even in the very last apology when Zoya was about to leave, you could see that she had 0 faith in Julien, not only as a sister but as a person.

Which leads me to saying that Julien is probs the most interesting character of the show. She’s lovable and flawed and she is good but she as of right now, she’s mean at worst and horribly complicit at best because right now her career is a bit more important but her 14 year old sister doesn’t deserve the headache of navigating her with her. But I do love Julien because she has layers and I think by the end, she’ll be able to have her influencer career without compromising herself. That does lead us to the the chairmen and co-chair of the mean team.

Monet and Luna weren’t around as much but I do think...I do think...that if Julien goes nice, they’re gonna go super nasty. They have access to her life which mean access to that video if Julien didn’t out right delete it or they find out about it and snooping. They’re her friends but unlike her, they don’t have a much of a Conscious so far of right and wrong and they’ll strike anyone down. I think if we have wild cards, they’re it. If Julien really does go down a new path, learns more to fight for what matters and understand the real her is just as likable, the mean duo will not accept and will try and bring her down. They have their own meaning of friends with benefits.

My dude Obie, I can’t say much. I don’t think he’s as Malicious as y’all make him out to be but he is a bit callous and naïve...which could be worse tbh. I think he does want to do good but he only knows Performative good to counter-act his parents. I do want him to get with someone else but I do hope he learns what true activism means through Zoya and understand how much of a difference he could make if he really put his mind to it. I also want him to learn get out quick, because he wasn’t just looking for a reason to end things but one to stay and Julien didn’t give him that.

Audrey, I like the stuff with her mom. I like the little bit more depth we got, she slept with Max maybe but Aki made out with him, who am I to judge? I hope her mon can step up in the future but I don’t think it’ll be easy and hopefully they explore it more. Not just tease us. Her mom needs therapy but I think I'm a bit invested in her too.

Max, I love max but the dude is Pretentious ~ above earthly love ~ low key a shitty friend and talks in metaphors whenever he has the chance BUT he does it well. I don’t see him with Aki but I want it! I do see him going harder after Audrey but I think he was a bit shocked for all his flirting that he was into the kids with Aki. I think he lives to play with people. I don't know if he really likes Audrey but he does want to bang her, a lot, a lot a lot. I don't think he really wanted to sleep with Aki but he did like playing with him and he could pick up the fact that Aki might be feeling him. I don't think the interest was really, real until Aki kissed him at the pool, home boy was shocked and was like oooo maybe something is there but his focus is on the teacher. And I also think the not in a million years thing had his gears turning too. You tell him it can't or won't happen and now he wants to make it happen.

Aki, my baby, my voice of reason. What makes him great as a person, makes him not great for Audrey when it comes to emotional stuff. He means well and I get where he's coming from with wanting Audrey to understand her mom but she did need a partner. The thing she loves about him is the thing that makes it hard. I don't know how Aki was brought up but I feel like this plays into it, she's always comparing him to a therapist. I wonder if his parents a bit more emotionally cold or curt or just very analytical people. But, like he's been lovely since ep one, the only one of the group to sort of defend Zoya or Julien wanting to know her / keep her secret. (What secrets does he have?) And in ep 2, he really was like 'ya'll fucked in the head' to the mean team. I know some consider him boring because he doesn't speak up often but when he does speak up, he got something to say. I want the show to use him in a way to stir drama just by being friends, his character doesn't have to have a dramatic effect and he could get his own little subplot that's tied into the show but like, my can't become some douche. (If he does, only for a bit.) Now, I don't see Max being endgame for him AT ALL. If it's between the two, Max would go for Audrey for sure while leading my boi on in ways, he could even really start to like him but endgame no. I'd love to see a scene with Max does get jealous of Aki with another dude, in a romantic way or the dude could be hitting on him, I think Aki would be able to humble him just a bit because no one really seems to know what he's thinking. In the end, idk who he ends up with but I want him to find someone who will do my dude right and he should get some non-shitty friends who'll listen to his problems. (Still not over that Max)

The teachers while being shown more, don't have much of a presence. It's mainly Kate and the goofy one for extended scenes. KATE MY GOOD SIS. NO. Please, I want this to be the point where she loses GG somehow and someone takes over or maybe another GG pops up, can market better and isn't willing to have a faltering moments. I want it to spiral. Spiral hard. Also, sexy teach said not on my watch ezra! I stan him. Teachers are still fun for me, they make me want to never teach at a dumb rich private school.

Also, fuck the dads within reason. Esp, Julien's dad but only because we got to see Zoya's more and he is kinda in the right about most of the stuff but not the sister stuff. You can tell he's doing his best to instill morals in his daughter esp when he knows she can fall to outside influences.

Overall, I'm still enjoying it, I'm invested. I see room for growth for all of the characters (maybe not the teachers) and I want to see it play out. It does feel a little rushed but I think they're finding their footing and they have some big things to pull. But's not horrible and if they just play the drama bit longer and then conclude, it wouldn't feel that way. Maybe one more episode or half an episode could've been added to the Zoya-Obie-Julien story line to fully flush it out but I like the ending. Not sisters, not friends but cool with each and possibly re-build, at worst they just don't interact. I noticed some cool things with the promos but I need to confirm when I can find the one for 3.

Sorry if it went from all lower case to proper-ish, I had to switch to my phone and it auto-does it.

[cmescapade]

my long overview/review of ‘Star Wars: Journey to Batuu’ after forcing myself to play it almost nonstop

so i said i was going to amend what i said in response to this ask after playing to min/max shit so here is a tldr version of my opinion after playing:

I consider this pack to be a 2/10; It's enough to kill time as a temporary distraction, but not for long. There’s absolutely no replay value after going through all those missions as each outcome is ultimately the same by faction. There also doesn’t seem to be any negative outcomes for each prompt in the little “choose your adventure” pop ups--And if there is, it is extremely low since I have never gotten a negative outcome. 

The aspirations are fair, and are the only things I found in this pack that’s anyway redeemable since I believe the rewards can be used well in conjunction with general solo/super-sim gameplay.

kinda sat on this for a while bc i wasn’t sure if i should post something so lengthy but then i remembered this is my blog n i can post my left toe if i wanted to

even tho i would never post a pic of my left toe anyway

.......at least for free. With the right price, however....

anyway more details under the cut if you’re interested bc i like to ramble :))

I decided to split this into 5 sections to organize my thoughts a little better. I’ll be separating my thoughts on each faction, the ships as a rabbit hole, the faction missions, the star wars aspirations, and then the breakdown of my 2/10 rating. 

1. Factions

When you travel to Batuu, the game gives you a starting “mission” or quest to get you acclimated to the areas, and each area has a specific Faction associated with it.

And yes, you cannot live anywhere, nor are there any lots, as was already stated.

Every area has a similar makeup which has:

Control Panels

Supply Crates

1 non-rabbit hole area

1 interactable ship

The Black Spire Outpost is the biggest area and has:

Two places to grab food, three if you count the Cantina

Aside from the Cantina, the other areas are rabbit holes

The two eateries are:

Docking Bay 7

this one has the most food options

you’ll never go hungry in batuu because the cheapest items on the menu are Outpost Popcorn Mix and Water at 0 credits lmao

the other two foods not shown in the screenshot above are Yobshrimp Noodle Salad and Braised Shaak Roast

Ronto Roasters

This food place has two of the same options Docking Bay 7 has as well as two additional food items

Oga’s Cantina

The only area that you see the inside of

yea the bar serves batuu-only drinks too

also where you find the guy who would give you Scoundrel missions, Hondo Ohnaka.

You can essentially max your Scoundrel reputation without it hindering whichever side you wanna take, and you can keep it when you essentially max out your rep on either the Resistance or the First Order.

There aren’t any real pros to being a Scoundrel aside from some socialization interactions. It doesn’t do anything for initial Batuu gameplay aside from unlocking Scoundrel outfits in CAS and some upgrades for your droids, but this goes for all of your options (Resistance, First Order, & Scoundrel).

The Dwelling

This is a rabbit hole where your sim goes to sleep, pee, or shower… If not the closest bench. 

It’s located opposite to the Cantina. 

If you’re ever lost, there’s a spire you can sit/nap on right in front of it–or you can just wait till your sim wants to pee. 

they’ll automatically run there 

that’s… how i found it, tbh

Dok Ondar’s Den of Antiquities

Another rabbithole

This place sells items you can use to complete missions, like Dataspikes and a couple of Lightsaber parts

Majority of the inventory are decorative stuff to bring back with you

Savi’s Workshop

Right behind the antique shop is the lightsaber place where you can find more hilts, kyber crystals, and display cases for your lightsabers.

You can also click on the shop to start a lightsaber challenge.

Outside this area, you have the First Order District which has more supply crates and control panels than the other two neighborhoods, and a lot more activity–Makes sense since this is basically the hub for the First Order in general. 

There’s only the Droid Depot in this area, and the only real shop that has use for credits. Food wise, there’s a food stall, and if your sim is stinky or tired, they’d basically disappear for a few minutes to recharge and come back. 

Droid Depot

Each faction has specific Droid personality traits

Aside from “voices,” these personalities don’t do much

I guess the First Order one is a lot more zap-happy though

The Resistance Camp is even smaller. Like the other areas, it’s littered with supply crates, but only has one control panel and no shops. However, there’s a rabbit hole toward the back in the Caves.

This doesn’t lead you to anywhere interesting, and it’s just another ‘choose your own adventure’ kind of thing. 

2. Ships

In the Black Spire Outpost, you’ll find the iconic Millennium Falcon. You can do kessel runs and explore in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca if you have a high Scoundrel reputation. 

However, although I said you get to ride with Chewbacca, you don’t ever see him come out 

He just kinda……………..stays there

and the prompts tell u he’s there

n ur gonna have to go with it and use the power of your imagination to believe he really do be there

In the First Order District, there’s the TIE Echelon, which functions the same way as the Millennium Falcon… But, you can’t do anything outside of exploring or using it for missions. This is how the X-Wing Starfighter in the Resistance Camp functions as well. 

It’s all pretty copy and paste, but w/e, that’s how EA does it  

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Missions

There may be several different missions per faction, but to no one’s surprise, they’re all literally the same one but worded differently.

Regular missions only have one plus (+) and one negative (-) icon

Regular Scoundrel missions only have one plus icon and no negatives since they don’t impact other factions

Each faction has a regular mission that pertains to:

Obtaining information

Exploring with the faction’s designated ship

Stealing from Supply Crates

Hacking a Control Panel

Yes………………….They’re very repetitive

You don’t have to do all of them though

You can spam the same one over and over as long as it fits the time slot

For example, the Resistance’s ship exploration mission is limited to only the day time and seems to disappear when it gets late in game

also there’s an error with the TIE Echelon where it’s missing a whole ass prompt

……As you can see, the options make no sense because the prompt is the same one that came before it 🥴

anyway…

Story Missions are the only missions that seem to differentiate from each faction.

All missions that pertain to the “story” are indicated with prerequisites of higher ranks within the faction

All of them give a double boost toward your faction

If it’s a Resistance story quest, it’ll always increase hostility from First Order members

Vice versa for the First Order faction

The Scoundrels are neutral, and do not impact any faction 

It’s only the Resistance and First Order factions that have very similar plot lines

but I’m guessing it’s only like that since they’re supposed to follow the vague cause/effect the two of them have?

4. Aspirations

The initial Aspiration you get when you pick the Star Wars umbrella in CAS (or in game) is “Hope VS Order.” After completing this one aspiration, you unlock the 3 that pertain to each faction.

Paragon of Hope

Resistance aspiration

Reward trait gives a boost to Charisma skill building

This is probably nice for those careers that need Charisma to be high, like the Political and Business branches

Enforcer of Order

First Order aspiration

Lowers chances of “Death from Anger”

Since I like killing my sims, I think this aspiration is pointless lmao

Galactic Privateer

Scoundrel aspiration

“Sleight of Hand” reward trait

Unlocks pickpocketing outside of Criminal branch usage

Best one here tbh

Works outside of Batuu, you’ll steal simoleons instead of credits

Also you can cheat whenever u play Sabaac and no one will notice

5. Reevaluation of Initial Opinions

I’ll be going through my initial list from my Response to the Ask I got before. I originally stated that it seemed promising and it was a 3.5~4/10.

Aesthetics/Visual: my opinion is unchanged, it still made me sad i can’t have a little shanty house out there or rent a garbo lot, 0.5/5

The longer I played, the more I didn’t find any new animations

The lightsaber sparring slowly began to look like a mash between GF and RoM duels after a while

I still hate that the areas were beautiful (+0.5) but the interactive places forced cutaway

why do you wanna ruin my screenshots like this, man

CAS/BB still is hard to integrate–Unless your sim is a geek with figurines, the ship models might be nice to add to their collections

Otherwise……

….

I don’t have a follow up for that, sry

Gameplay: uhhh at least i found something i could use outside of Batuu, 1.5/5

I think that playing 3984729847 repetitive missions for a long period time really orientated me to the whole map

…but the fact that i had trouble the first time around still makes it not-user friendly

the issue I had with the resistance members not having an icon? It’s a thing, I guess

The resistance quests take you on a weird trip to “prove” yourself so i guess the icons are supposed to show that they’re “not” resistance members or something idk

they’re supposed to be the sneaky underdogs who wanna do good or w/e

I guess that’s immersive…….. +0.5

sry im first order trash

they also have “Ignite the Spark” and “Ask about Missions” both leading to the same mission screen……………….

convenience?? i guess??

missions are still confusing, made worse when the game itself glitches up a storm

there was one mission where i had to go to the cantina to find someone

and they wouldn’t spawn within the time frame………….

i had to go in and out for like 3 days until they actually spawned

i only knew this bc i arrested half the people in the cantina while i was bored

so anyone without a red bar was probably them lmfaoo

also, as i stated above……. there’s some mission errors in the prompts 

Currency is still worthless.

Everything can be done by purely stealing from supply crates

Credits are only worth to blow it off on sabaac! 

The only real need for credits is to have 1,000 so u can buy a droid

Then slam the rest of those credits on the table to bet bajillions on a game of sabaac!

Aspirations………. Useful +1

Despite them being sorta niche, they’re pretty decent

Can abuse the rewards for optimal gameplay for a super sim

Honestly i just love the pickpocketing reward off the Scoundrel aspiration, just because it works outside of Batuu (and that he didn’t have to be in the Criminal career for it either)

In total, my personal rating for this pack is 2/10.

It was nice, but I don’t really see this pack being replayable, considering that i did everything there was to do on Batuu in a single trip. Sure I could’ve taken my time, but since everything would end up the same anyway, it felt like it was set up to be a one-time gig. 

At least with JA you’re moderately forced to return so you can collect treasures that are RNG–In JtB, you can snatch up all that you need on Batuu from grinding everything like a nutcase. There’s also chances of failure in JA, but on Batuu that percentage is almost little to none. The most you’ll ever get is a dazed moodlet that barely lasts, a negative relationship, and being escorted to a loading screen.  

I feel like this pack could be a little better if there were more risks involved, but there are barely any that I encountered. It’s just another weird, rehashed cash grab by EA.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jude

Janis: How did it go?

Jude: how you said it was gonna

Janis: Do you want one of us to come home or would you rather be alone?

Janis: At least you were prepared

Jude: I’ve put you out enough, have already done & am gonna do for the foreseeable, I’m good

Janis: That doesn’t mean you should go without now

Janis: If it’s what you need, just say so

Janis: What did they say?

Jude: they’ll both be up for taking an arm if you & dad wanna grab a leg & drag me down the clinic

Janis: no one’s gonna force you to do anything

Janis: you can’t have expected any other reaction?

Jude: I’m not as thick as this makes me look or feel

Janis: I know you aren’t

Janis: I guess it feels weird that no one’s celebrating with you, on some deep-down uncontrollable level

Janis: You tell me, that’s how it seemed to me when Grace thought she was pregnant when we were teens

Jude: I just thought everyone cared about me more than this, me, not the mistake I made & how it’s gonna fuck everything up & how fast it can be sorted so it can be like it didn’t happen

Jude: Jess is only bothered it might make headlines & Jac doesn’t even see me in this, just that she did the right thing & so should I, as if there’s 0 difference between me & her

Janis: They do care about you

Janis: That just doesn’t look the way you would like, or expected it to

Janis: They’re just terrified for you, we all are

Jude: they’re not coming back for summer & it’s not just Jess’ birthday, she don’t wanna come back ever

Jude: if Jac’s so worried why am I dead to her?

Janis: You aren’t even off ‘til the end of July, there’s time

Janis: That’s why it made sense to do this now, you have to give that time and space

Janis: They’re giving you it too, but for the opposite reason

Janis: I would have done the exact same thing, she’s showing she’s serious, that this is

Janis: Arguing if it’s right or not is irrelevant, the more she punishes you, the more she’s hoping you’ll change your mind on this

Jude: You didn’t hear her

Jude: it’s gonna be worse than it was before, if I don’t change my mind I don’t have a sister anymore & if I do I don’t have a baby anymore

Janis: I know your sister, I know you all

Janis: Just because she made it sound that way, or outright said it, doesn’t mean it’s true

Janis: not that pointing that out would do you any favours

Janis: I’ve been there, even as much as I thought I hated Rio at times, or as much as I really might’ve

Janis: you can’t just erase people from your life, especially not family, not easily

Janis: Look how long dad’s dad lingered around, and that was a more mutual decision

Jude: but she literally did erase me for 2 years & even though she’s been gone, this is the closest we’ve been

Jude: I just got her back

Janis: Erasing yourself is different to erasing other people, even if it feels the same being one of those people

Janis: you have to remember that was about her and how she felt

Janis: It is hurtful, but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong

Jude: now I have though

Janis: In her eyes or yours or both?

Jude: in everyone’s

Jude: dad can’t even look at me rn

Janis: It’ll change

Janis: I’m not going to say get easier, it’ll be different kinds of hard

Jude: You’re all acting like I’m going about celebrating, I didn’t want this to happen either, not like this & not now

Janis: It’s difficult to get it out of your head that there aren’t other options for you, when there technically are, that’s all

Janis: None of us wants to think of you doing something you don’t want to do

Janis: It would be as uncomfortable if you did have a termination, this isn’t a nice thing that has happened

Jude: None of you think I can or should raise a kid

Jude: maybe you’re all right & I shouldn’t bother trying

Janis: It’s your decision, I’m not going to tell you what to do either way

Janis: you’ll do what you need to do

Jude: it’s not a decision I can make with the whole family against me, Toby couldn’t bail fast enough

Janis: We aren’t against you

Janis: But you have to be the one to make the final call

Janis: we’re all just waiting for that

Janis: we can’t really support you more than that

Jude: Yeah you are, it’s obvious what you & dad want

Jude: it was different with Bobby, Cammie’s mum decided & he didn’t get a proper say, not unless he was gonna bail too

Jude: my decision is MY decision & when you all reckon I’ve made the wrong call it’ll be held over my head forever

Janis: It won’t, Jude

Janis: We’re just not happy about this, but neither are you, so can you blame us?

Jude: I don’t but I don’t wanna be the fuckup of this family either

Janis: This family has an abundance, but we all survive and make it work

Janis: most do, they’re just less outward with it

Janis: Your life will be harder, but as long as you end up happy, that’s the whole point, only you can say what will get you there

Jude: not our little bit of it, everything was going 🏆🥇 before this

Janis: What about the last two years with Jac?

Jude: that wasn’t her fault

Janis: Some of it was

Janis: it doesn’t make either of you awful people though

Jude: if you wanna take to the streets 📢 go ahead but I don’t think it’ll shut anyone up

Janis: Other people are going to say shit, that’s not going to stop

Jude: yeah, I know, I’m not looking forward to even more of it is all I’m saying

Janis: Then you do need to keep thinking

Janis: if you can’t handle that

Janis: no one will know if you do go for the termination route

Jude: I never said I can’t handle it

Janis: Okay

Jude: I know I don’t handle stuff like Jac & Jess do but I won’t fuck things up more than they are cos of what people 🗨️

Jude: I get that I need to be in school til I’ve done exams & I’m not trying to give them another reason to wanna chuck me out

Janis: The options are beyond limited if you don’t finish, you do need to

Janis: it’s alright if you care what people think

Jude: I care it’s bollocks

Jude: if I knew all the shit they’re 🗨️ about & reckon they’ve always known I wouldn’t have just gone along with it then never mind having to deal with it now on top of this

Janis: People will always be ready to think the worst about you

Janis: you know it’s not true, real friends will too, that will have to do

Jude: such a mum thing to say but alright

Jude: you're not wrong

Janis: oi

Janis: just speaking from more experience than you

Jude: while you can, I get it, I’m grabbing onto being a kid as long as I still can too but

Janis: That’s gone

Janis: you can’t be a child and be pregnant

Janis: just because it isn’t here

Jude: Why can’t I?

Janis: You have to take care of yourself and your body more than ever

Janis: that doesn’t compute with running about who knows where

Janis: you’re already responsible for it

Jude: you’re literally out-mumming yourself here

Jude: fun ✔️ risks ❌

Jude: I don’t have a death wish for me or it

Janis: Come on, you know it’s true

Janis: That’s it

Jude: I know I don’t have ages before I look like 🤰🏼 & I can’t even tie my own shoes ⏲

Jude: but I’m not dying, you don’t have to wrap me in bubble wrap

Janis: It’s a bit late for that

Janis: that’s my point, you need to be realistic

Janis: you won’t be the same person afterwards, you think you will but you won’t

Jude: so let me have now

Janis: What do you think you’re going to be able to do before you’re pregnant with all the symptoms, Jude

Janis: This isn’t about me letting you have anything, this is your reality, we need to know you understand that more than what you’re putting out right now implies

Jude: it’s happening to my body, of course I understand

Janis: It’s getting your head right as well as the physical shit

Janis: that does take longer, I know

Jude: yeah, when everyone’s having a go at you & telling you you’ve ruined the lives of everyone you care about that’s a headfuck

Janis: This is a headfuck, for all of us

Jude: I knew what I was gonna do & everyone’s putting doubt about now

Janis: That’s in theory, this is actually happening

Janis: You don’t get to do it without any outside forces

Jude: what if I can’t do it & I’m the worst mum ever?

Janis: You don’t know until you do it

Janis: actually, you never know

Janis: but that’s everyone

Jude: No way, you’ve gotta know you’re good at this, mum 🏆

Janis: Of course not

Janis: no one hands out actual 🏆 or gives you annuals

Janis: that’s what I’m trying to explain, it’s not horror stories

Janis: you sign up for a life of uncertainty and feeling like you’re doing it all wrong

Jude: I’ll make you one if I’m still allowed glue & scissors

Janis: Tah

Janis: the glue is non-toxic and I don’t think you’d get far with scissors in any serious capacity unless you got very creative so

Janis: go wild

Jude: When do I have to tell them at work? now?

Jude: they’ll offer me more than the odd saturday when summer starts

Janis: It looks better if you do it sooner

Janis: so they can’t claim you sprung it on them

Jude: okay

Janis: like, you can’t chuck someone for being pregnant but if you help them out, they’ll be more inclined to help you out

Jude: tomorrow after school it is then

Janis: 👍

Janis: do you need anything bringing back?

Jude: what like an unsuspecting boy to raise this child with me or?

Janis: I was thinking Lucozade, maybe some tablets, that kinda thing

Jude: in that case, no, I’m alright

Janis: Okay then

Jude: I’m gonna just go to bed so

Janis: Before dinner?

Jude: I’m tired

Janis: Alright

Janis: I’ll see if you’re up when I get home, if you want to talk more later

Jude: 🤞 I can sleep & won’t be, no offense

Janis: I’ll cope

Jude: me without dinner, there’s nothing that doesn’t make me feel sick rn anyway

Janis: that gets better usually, unless you’re unlucky, 2nd is the easiest bit

Jude: ffs would be the easiest bit when I’m basically done with & then don’t have school

Janis: I think that’s the least of your timing troubles tbh

Jude: Tah for reminding me of what I’m trying not to think about

Janis: yeah not a luxury you have kid, sorry

Jude: no need to remind me of all the luxuries I won’t have

Janis: Try to get some sleep then

Jude: 👌

Jude: love you

Janis: love you too

[razberryyum]

Why I love the Phoenix Mountain Hunt: an essay

(with novel spoilers)

Ok, firstly, the beautiful WangXian elephant in the room: I honestly never expected us to get the blindfolded kiss scene or anything close to that, though I was hoping for at least a mild hint at it involving Wei Wuxian being blindfolded and Lan Wangji at least somewhere nearby before they fade to black or cut- away, but I think what they gave us instead was just as awesome since it completely captured the spirit of the stolen kiss. For me at least, that blindfold scene was essentially LWJ being so overwhelmed by his feelings for WWX that he actually broke probably every moral code he’s lived by to uncharacteristically act upon his urges, pretty much taking advantage of WWX in his self-imposed vulnerable condition (although, how WWX could ever mistaken LWJ for being a female cultivationist, even if she’s especially arduous and STRONG, is beyond me…I mean, who has he SEEN at the hunt that would even fit that bill??? I probably could write a whole other essay just to figure this one out). With the “confession” scene we got instead, it feels like we basically got everything we wanted from the blindfolded kiss scene except without the actually kiss…which is pretty damn fine, all things considered. LWJ still was so overwhelmed by his feelings for WWX that he uncharacteristically almost demanded of WWX what his status in his life is and then pretty much eagerly pledged his continued devotion to him. To make things better, WWX was the one who came up with the word 知己 (more on that later) to describe how he felt about LWJ…which is actually a step up from how it was in the novel, where WWX, although aware of LWJ���s existence all of the time, mostly seemed to just enjoy teasing him for his own amusement. They definitely weren’t at the point where WWX would refer to him as a soulmate for life (and my God does it take a while to even get to anywhere near that point…not complaining but just…all the mostly one-sided pining on LWJ’s part in the novel hurt me).

I actually loved how the confession scene began with WWX immediately happy from seeing LWJ passing by and instinctively wanting to call out to him, only stopping himself because he remembered the talk he and big bro Lan Xichen had…which was not in the novel, completely original to the drama. I loved that change since that talk the two future bro-in-laws had just made me love LXC even more and also informed us further of just how much LXC is aware of his little bro’s feelings for WWX. But then LWJ was finally the one to spot WWX first and as he heads towards him, WWX has just the most heart-meltingly soft expression:

Like he’s so relieved and just happy that LWJ realized he’s there on his own so now they can finally converse. And then of course the conversation they have…so meaningful.

Now, tbh, for most of my life I thought the word 知己 actually just meant “dearest friend”, which would’ve been good enough already considering they can’t straight out say anything more intimate than that, but then upon finding out that the word can also mean “soulmate”, I was of course overjoyed. And considering the emotions involved in that scene and the way the two wonderful actors played it, along with the beautiful WangXian score coming in and their lingering looks, I don’t doubt that both LWJ and WWX did mean “soulmate”, especially considering how more developed their relationship was already by that point, thanks to the changes in the live action.

What I also love about the Phoenix Mt Hunt in terms of WangXian is just how WWX-focused LWJ was. It’s like he couldn’t take his eyes off of WWX the majority of the time, and he was constantly concerned for him. Other than the cute ribbon exchange at the beginning and the aforementioned conversation scene, my other favorite WangXian moment between them was when LWJ held WWX back while they were in hiding behind the tree, eavesdropping on Shijie and Jin Zixuan:

…because of the expression on LWJ’s face. It’s obvious he sees through Jin Zixuan’s facade, that the Jin dork is actually already crushing on Shijie, hence LWJ’s almost smile in that moment while trying to pull WWX back from ruining the two future lovebird’s alone time…

It felt like the reason LWJ understood JZX’s feelings was because he too was trying to hide his true feelings from the one he is enamored with.

And then of course there’s all the physical contact between WWX and LWJ…

Another reason I love the Phoenix Mt Hunt is because of Shijie, Jiang Yanli. I don’t post much about anyone else other than WangXian because Tumblr freaks out on me when I post about something more than once or twice a day so I have to pick and choose my loves, but I pretty much loved Shijie the moment she appeared in the live action. They could not have chosen a sweeter, more loving looking person to play her. I was already a fan of her character right from the get-go, but when she stood up for her little bro, WWX and her sect, I just about burst out crying cuz I was so damn proud of her. I wanted to reach into the screen and just hug her so much. She was simply amazing in that scene, the actress and the character, and I felt like we saw some of Madame Yu in her.

I’m still not very convinced that JZX deserves her, cuz he’s still kinda a dick to WWX, but if that’s the man she wants, who am I to deprive her of anything. Give her the world, please, cuz Shijie deserves it.

Oh and this moment, I really appreciated as well:

That look of utter fear on WWX’s face…which I feel wasn’t just due to the fact that he was worried for his Shijie’s safety, but because he knew there was no way he could protect her due to his condition. Bless LWJ again of course for coming to his rescue…which actually makes me wonder why he hasn’t said anything to WWX about his golden core considering it’s pretty obvious he knows something’s up. It’s actually still driving me a little crazy that LWJ continues to keep that to himself even though he clearly knows or is at least suspicious enough that he’s constantly coming to WWX’s rescue…during the Sunshot Campaign and now even at the hunt.

I also love of course how LWJ seems to be in constant fear that WWX would just lose it completely and then do something irreversible…which, of course we know that he eventually will, sadly, but my heart just ached on behalf of LWJ and the non-stop concern he must’ve been feeling for WWX like 24/7. I mean, leading up to the hunt, we know he was breaking sect rules to look up ways to help WWX, while WWX on the other hand got to enjoy life in Lotus Pier. All of it just makes LWJ’s words to his big bro, where he talks about wanting to just hide WWX away, that much more heart-breaking. It was already poignant in the novel knowing that he would even want to do something like that (after what happened with his parents) just to keep WWX safe, but somehow it felt worse in the live action because of all the build up to that moment, where we see how almost desperate he is to keep WWX on the right path and safe.

Lastly (omg, this thing is already 3 pages long), what I also appreciated about the Phoenix Mt Hunt is the stuff that happens to Jin Guangyao. First off, against my better judgment, every time he pops up with LXC, I can’t help but smile cuz it IS so damn cute how the two of them are like always attached at the hip…they just appeared together here…like, I guess they just ditched their crabby older bro to wander off together?…lol. 

And then, when you see just how shitty Madame Jin and even that ass-weasel Jin Zixun treats JGY despite the fact that he’s basically helping them run their freaking sect now, really makes a good case for why he doesn’t feel any love for his so-called family, even before we find out his history. Not that that justifies what he does, especially considering how much he hurts those we do love, but we can see the Jins really don’t make a good case for themselves. Not to mention, at the start of the hunt, with how they use the probably innocent Wen members for archery targets, the line between the Jins and the Wens became really blurred, despite the Lanling Jin’s more angelic looking outfits. Again, I don’t get a chance to talk about this enough, but part of the reason I love Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed is that surrounding the beautiful love story between WWX and LWJ there is a legit fascinating story about the world of cultivation, the sects and families within it, which is populated by characters that are just as interesting and dynamic as our two protagonists. I think the Phoenix Mt Hunt really highlights this fact by giving us a glimpse into all these different aspects of the two main stories at play in one event…and not to mention, WWX just looked cool AF doing all that stuff with a blindfold on…which is why I love the hunt so much.

Thank you for reading my thesis. I will continue to work hard to earn my doctorate degree in MDZS/The Untamed.

[gilmesc1]

Do you have any thoughts on fictional portrayals of DID, like danganronpa, spl!t, and others?

Yes, I usually would take time to do research but lucky for you I already did XD

I looked into Danganronpa a while ago since we have 1 or 2 system mates from it, and in that case, prepare yourselves for a hot mess of my opinion and facts I got from a google fest.

So, to start out, I guess I might share spoilers?? So you hath been warned. Additionally I’m not going to sit here and rephrase the entire story so, honestly why am I even explaining this. Anon at least knows what’s going on XDD

So Danganronpa is a psychological mystery anime that focuses heavily on the themes of hope and despair, where in most versions of the story characters are forced into a killing game where they have to kill each other. Bet you couldn’t have figured that one out on your own XD

One thing I like about it is that the characters overall are written fairly well. Many of them are complex multi layered gems of writing with good development and story arcs. One thing that I found interesting is the semi accurate portrayals of mental illness and how it impacts the characters in this insane situation.

So, let’s break into that. I focused on the portrayals of NPD and DID specifically, and I could go back and look into others, but we’ll focus on those for this post. And just going to throw this out now, I think it’s interesting and also kind of a bold move to tackle those kinds of things in an anime.

So let’s look at the DID portrayal. The character’s name is Toko Fukawa, and she is a fucking wreck. Confirmed emotional abuse gives a lot into her character, and we see her as this timid, deflective, honestly broken shell. Later in the series we are introduced to her alternate personality, I know, exciting.

However it’s a literal serial killer. So like. Yeah.

I don’t love that part. I mean, out of all of the portrayals for this alter, you had to go with serial killer? And not only that, but a really famous, generally acknowledged as insane serial killer. Thaaaanks writer.

To recap what a lot of tumblr says, this kind of portrayal is dangerous because the majority of DID portrayals are of crazy violent stereotypes. It was quite honestly disappointing, and I wish that the writers hadn’t used this as their big reveal.

But hey, neutral standing here, let’s look at why he did do that from a different perspective. Since the theme of the game/anime is killing, it does make sense plot wise to have a serial killer. Additionally, it’s a clever way to get said serial killer into the game in the first place. Plot wise and with a few things I’ll mention in a second, it does make sense in a twisted way.

But let’s get the bad out of the way first. One thing I really don’t love is her appearance. It’s like someone took the original character design of fukawa, took some drugs, and then drew a nightmare creature. Seriously, there’s crazy eyes, hair flying everywhere, and this freaky inhuman tongue that the alter has out no matter what she’s doing. Like whaaaaaat the fuck.

Firstly this spreads misinformation that we can change appearance at will. Like don’t get me wrong, I wish I could, but the best I got is changing clothes if I have the time. Also the tongue I really hate because it gives the impression of the alter being this inhuman monster. Also again with the impression that we can morph stuff when we switch. I mean, if I had that, I’d be having a lot more fun in my day to day life than I do now.

Do what you will with that information.

Additionally we do see Fukawa’s tongue, and it’s not a weird demogorgon kind of thing, so, yeah, the tongue thing is weird.

Finally her name. It’s Genocider Syo/Jack/Jill. Not a normal name, no the only name we have for her is her serial killer name which I feel serves to continue to show her as this inhuman thing where we all go, Oh god oh fuck time to be afraaaaid.

But hey, let’s look at what they did right.

The backstory of how genocider came to be is really accurate to how it works. Fukawa has a history of abuse at a young age, and genocider eventually comes into the picture to protect her.

Let me explain: So this is a theory on my part (Check out Weeby Newz’s youtube video, that’s where I got this) but Fukawa was revealed to have suffered massive emotional abuse at the hands of a boy who she had romantic interest in. Since he was moving away, she decided to confess her love to him in a letter before this happened. Turns out the boy pinned the letter in her classroom so everyone would make fun of her. Dick move.

I think genocider formed after this specific event, firstly because this is a huge defining experience for Fukawa. Additionally, the way genocider acts serves to prove this. Her target victims are boys, and her first victim was the boy who hurt Fukawa. I mean yeah, killing was waaaay extreme, but bear with me on this next part:

I’d say that genocider is a protector. A lot of her initial actions were to protect Fukawa from getting hurt in the same way, and protectors do have a history of going to the extreme to protect their hosts and systems. Even though she seems like a persecutor, I don’t think any of her actions have been directed at herself and Fukawa, they actually seem to have a decent relationship, and to end this theory that is completely non canon and just me pretending I’m smart, I’d call her a protector.

Next, looking at the relationship they have. Genocider at one point tells the protagonist that they have a “non disclosure policy” when they switch when the other is in the middle of something. (like murder??) And I personally really liked this, as it was a kind of realistic DID humor in my eyes. Take it or leave it, that’s my opinion.

And that’s really all I have on that behalf. Genocider really isn’t shown as a “normal person” often, which I guess is the point but also leaves me with nothing to evaluate. (Side note, this is only V1 of the series and I’m aware she changes but dear god go easy on me)

Finally, here are a few things that I find a little weird tbh.

At first glance when they switch, it’s a touch accurate, if over dramatic. Losing consciousness and coming to as a different alter is possible so I do like that, however they also have her constantly switching when sneezing, which is a little out there.

I mean, I think I’ve done that before, but for it to be a consistent theme, idk. Maybe overdramatized again.

Secondly, there is a voice change, which is accurate, but it really just serves to fit the crazy image, so I’m conflicted on that.

So that is really all I can say on that specifically, to end things I’m going to talk about one other character Fukawa has interactions with, Togami. (He has a first name but I can’t spell/remember it.)

So I gravitated towards him while watching the series because he reminds me of me, hence me saying that he seems to be a dead ringer for npd. Let me explain.

He’s very cold and distant from others and obviously feels superior, additionally he is willing to fight tooth and nail to consistently be on top and win in any situation, leading to him doing some fucked up things.

But like I feel for him. It’s like watching me XD

His past was a very competitive cuthroat environment, where he was taught that losing is worse than death. Additionally he was almost groomed to be this untouchable figure so it’s no surprise that he believes that. I might make a second post about him because there’s a lot more I can say, but I’m going to double back to Fukawa now.

So Fukawa gains a very unhealthy obsession with Togami, despite him wanting literally nothing to do with her. He’s verbally abusive to her and does go out of his way to attack her, but she thinks it’s a sign of love. Poor Fukawa.

This also kind of fits with NPD, because we can have some pretty gravitating personalities. I think the attraction has a lot to do with Fukawa’s mental state, but I just found it interesting that the emotional abuse victim gravitates to Togami of all people.

So I brought him up for that above thought I had, and also to compare this last point. So Fukawa was confirmed to have DID, like it was specifically stated. To my knowledge it was never stated that Togami has NPD, but I strongly assume that he does. (key word assume, I could be wrong.)

So I found it interesting that Togami has this very accurate portrayal of NPD without ever confirming that he has NPD, while Fukawa is specifically confirmed to have DID while having a semi accurate portrayal. I think the writer really wanted to include mental illness in his story line and I doubt he intended anything to be intentionally harmful.

Writing mental illness into a story is very very very tricky, and it’s practically impossible to satisfy everyone, but the fact that he did do it is in my opinion, very bold.

He made good and less good choices, but overall he did make very compelling characters. Genocider admittedly fits better in this plotline as a crazy killer than she would as a realistic alter, but this is fiction.

So final statements: Toko Fukawa is not a bad character. I like a lot about her and overall I think she is very well written. Genocider is very less developed and more of a surprise plot twist than a character, which is unrealistic. The writer made some very awkward choices from a realistic standpoint despite it fitting well with his story.

So overall, she really isn’t a good portrayal of DID. You can enjoy her character like I did, but the main takeaway here is to not take her as a realistic portrayal. I know it seems obvious but this is the kind of thing that forms unhealthy ideas in viewers.

I’m not hating on Danganronpa or Toko, I actually really loved both. I’ve tried to stop ranting about fictional works that I hate. I used to be a loose fucking canon but I realized that I had been bashing a few autistic friend’s special interests, so now I try to be hyper aware that a fictional work might mean everything to someone even if I personally disliked it.

But that isn’t the case here because again I loved Danganronpa XD

So friends, that about does it for me. I liked doing this kind of analysis so if you want me to do more, send them my way XD

My next post will probably be the syscourse analysis if I can get that done before I get an easier topic. So thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, thank you for the ask anon.

And I’m now out of words. You all should be happy. XD

[glumvillain]

GlumReviews #10

If you’re like me then the year 2001 was just a shitty year to be alive.  George Bush was president,  Now That’s What I Call Music was on it’s 7th volume, Freddy Got Fingered and Bridget Jones’ goddamn Diary.  The internet had transformed the landscape of music and the industry was pivoting to serve a customer base that no longer wanted to pay for the music they so enjoyed.  Pandora internet radio would not be a public option until 2005.  The ancient technology known as just the plain ol’ radio was a large factor in determining one’s career success.  Yes, you could spend years touring on underground circuits garnishing a cult following from small town to small town, but nothing quite beats a radio single that can be played simultaneously for an entire nation.  In other words, the general public still played a determining factor for your determined breakthrough.

It is with this in mind that I present to you the case for Nickelback’s 3rd studio album Silver Side Up.  One cannot deny the societal connotations that come with just mentioning this band, and in my opinion, that horse has just long been laid to rest and I invite you to open your mind musically for just one second, as I have forced myself to in this series of truly eye-opening reviews.  Taking the title as Canada’s most commercially successful band among many many other prestigious honors of a similar nature.  Surely an entire generation doesn’t consider this band laughable and just a shitty shitty representative of rock music, especially in the year of our forsaken lord 2001? 

Is Nickelback a prime example of male mediocrity failing upwards into superstardom? or is there a valid claim for their status as a “pussy band” (which sounds kinda cool to me tbh) among rock n roll aficionados and real cool dudes in the scene?  We plumb the depths of a road at least 10 million have previously plumbed.

1.  Never Again

I’m gonna have a difficult time saying this is a “shitty” band whenever their first song addresses something that (excuse the pun) hits so close to home.  As an intro track they open up with a pretty heavy song about domestic violence “He’s drunk again, it’s time to fight/ She must have done something wrong tonight/  The living room becomes a boxing ring”.  Told from the point of a view of a child growing up to see his mother abused at the hands of his drunken father.  It’s a heartbreaking song that has a satisfying ending for those of us who don’t like to dwell too much on the downsides of life. Especially if one chooses to escape through music, but sad music in sad times is a personal habit I partake in.  This is a great song, content wise.  Kinda weird to have it set to such an upbeat sounding song but I guess it goes to serve the rage of a child being helpless in the face of his abusive father.

2.  How You Remind Me

Does the lead single of this album really need a review? Yes, because this review is about taking a second look at shit you take for granted.  This song is just poetry.  In the fact that it’s just a perfectly executed song, lyrically.  Being non-cryptic and just flat out honest about ones feelings.  There’s thousands of songs about being down in the dumps or heartbroken and I can see why this is easily one of their biggest hits.  It’s a song that doesn’t care about your preconceived notions of masculinity or what rock music should or shouldn’t be.  Some people were put on this planet to make one song to connect the world to each other, and I think this is Nickelback’s song.

3.  Woke Up This Morning

Now I wouldn’t exactly call this metal, but it’s too heavy to be pop-rock.  But it easily straddles these fine picket fences of being almost too heavy for their own lyrics at times.  There’s noticeable flavors of southern rock sprinkled throughout the album which I can see having a blue collar/WWF crowd appeal.  Again another song consisting of being absolutely honest with the listener “I felt like shit when I woke up this morning, I’ve been a loser all my life I’m not about to change”.  

4.  Too Bad

With the events of Track 1 in mind, this song takes a remorseful shift into the story of the father.  Now racked with guilt, the song title lays it out pretty evenly.  It’s too bad.  It’s too late.  Despite the behavior of an antagonistic and toxic father, they made it out on their own without the breadwinner of the family.  At the expense of the mothers time and love, at least they still had clothes on their backs and food to eat.  Another heartbreaking but heartfelt song that is one of the first songs that I’ve reviewed in this series that actually gave me chills.  

5.  Just For

This is the typical male violent fantasy that could lean either way.  It’s either about a girl he lost to another man, or given the past material in the album being about his mom, it could be pertaining to his relationship with his father.  However you feel personally about this band, understand that lead singer Chad Kroger opened his soul up on a record which is rarely an experience put forth in an album.  Now arguably you could tell me that’s what all bands do, and yes I’m inclined to agree.  But it’s rare that it’s not wrapped up in sarcasm or a false sense of confidence.  Usually such displays of anger and torment are disguised with metaphor and mystery.  There’s none of that at play here.  And usually I’d call that dumb music for a monkey brain audience.  But this is just some of the most sincerest lyrics you could listen to.

6.  Hollywood

Now listen I know I said all that stuff about his lyrics being pretty straightforward?  Well I’ll eat my own words on this song, as I can’t really pickup the metaphor he’s laying down...correct me if I’m wrong but is this song about being in a mental hospital or going to a methadone clinic?  Don’t beat yourself up if this track isn’t your cup of tea, I didn’t really vibe with it like other tracks.

7.  Money Bought

Pretty straightforward song about a woman whose living off of her parents just being an all around Samantha .  Songs like this I could really do without, heavy strong riff but if there’s one production complaint I have is that alot of the mixes are too guitar heavy and the drums get washed out.

8.  Where Do I Hide

Feels like a continuation of the previous song with the too loud guitar mix, the lyrics themselves are pretty boring and not really worth going over as I can’t figure out if he’s making an outlaw fantasy song or something about his dad again. There’s a decent little guitar solo but I wouldn’t say to go out of your way to listen to this song.

9.  Hangnail

I’ll give them this, they can kick out some pretty good riffs.  But like good standard rock riffs.  I couldn’t tell you they have their own sound musically.  I think their sound is largely wrapped up in the lead singers voice.  You could convince me it was 3 different bands if 3 different singers sang their songs.  This song feels like a weak follow-up to “How You Remind Me”, and if that’s the case it really missed a mark in my opinion.

10.  Good Time’s Gone

Nothing says “album closer” like acoustic guitar strumming away into a swaying jam.  Definitely leaning more country western than most of their songs, but with a hard rock kick to it.  It’s a nice revamp of energy from the previous couple of songs that just felt to get a little weaker as the album progressed.  Kroger gives a powerful vocal performance to lead us out and I can’t help but think to myself, dear god I just listened to a Nickelback album several times today.

So where do you land on the spectrum of hate for Nickelback?  For me, personally I see absolutely no reason why Nickelback is more hated than say Three Days Grace or Papa Roach, both of which have garnished their own cult followings respectively.  No, I believe this to just be a meme that society has taken and ran with it by constantly making Nickelback be the butt of some non-existent joke.  Are they the best band ever? Fuck no.  Should people be mocked or made fun of for listening to bands they enjoy? Double fuck no.  Because music becomes your personal experience, and we should let others bask in what little, small things bring them joy.  Why gatekeep listening to music?  Music is supposed to connect others and bring about the feeling of belonging, the act of belittling others for their choice in music isn’t only pointless, it’s just downright disrespectful of a persons identity and personal choices.  And with that being said, Five Finger Death Punch is REAL garbage music.

I refrained from mentioning that this album was actually released on September 11th, 2001.  Not wanting that to factor into my writing but it’s at this point that I argue the case that Nickelback was a relic of a time before shit got worse in America.  Without 9/11 in the narrative of some of these tracks I feel like they don’t hit as hard and yeah, in some fucked up way I’m saying that if it wasn’t for 9/11 itself, I don’t think they would have had a breakthrough.  As audiences scrambled to tune into something different I’m sure the radio offered some form of escape from a world ravaged by national news.  I give the album:

⭐⭐⭐/5

This album begins pretty lively and begins to fizzle out about halfway with track #6, saved only by the ending track.  This was a decent album and if you’re curious to check it out, I recommend tracks 1-5, then just skip to 10, the album makes more sense that way.