#it's very obvious when you speak on a character without having read their chapters btw

[fromtheseventhhell]

George did not write Arya naming babies in Winterfell and taking care of a child in the middle of a WARZONE just for y'all to say she's not going to end up with kids/family because she's "not that type of character" 😒

[bitethedevil]

Writer game!

What recurring themes/topics in your writing do you have?

TW: Talk of Abuse and Trauma

Also: beware of spoilers if you haven't yet read Living with The Devil You Know and want to.

I think in general there’s a big theme of trauma and abusive and toxic behavior in my writing. This is also why I prefer writing Dark!Raphael. It’s almost hard not to include those subjects with him, which might be why I’m enjoying writing him so much. I’ve directed plays in the past, and for some reason the major theme in those plays have always ended up being trauma.

It’s an interesting concept to explore I think, and perhaps also, on a more personal note, because I find it therapeutic to explore it through art. Also, before I keep yapping, I also just want to say that there is no wrong way to experience trauma, and that the things I write about are mainly from my own perspective and things I have learned about myself through dealing with my past and by talking to others with similar experiences (Nothing to worry about at all btw, I am better than I have ever been. Therapy is a godsend).

I try to make it as realistic as I can. Such as small things and reactions from my characters that I don’t blatantly point out is due to trauma, but it makes sense in that context.

My best example is Tav in ‘Living with The Devil You Know’ (Spoilers). She’s grown up with a cruel father who beat her, and it’s hinted at that he also verbally abused her. Her trauma presents itself both mentally and physically in the form of the burn scars on her face that she had chosen to hide for years.

Ironically, it’s Raphael who reveals them, even though he is the same kind of man as her father was. She shows it to him without knowing if he accepts her for it or he simply does it to ‘pour salt in the wound’, so to speak. Tav also learns that just ignoring her scars of the past, metaphorically and literally, does not mean that they have gone away.

On the other hand, she also continues the cycle of abuse in a way. She’s cold, selfish and overly practical at times towards other people, because that is how she has learned to survive. She begins to see herself as evil instead of trying to understand where it is all coming from, which I think unfortunately is very realistic for many survivors of abuse. It’s much easier to simply demonize oneself than to start dealing with the past and explore where those survival mechanisms are coming from.

I also think their relationship is depressingly representative of a lot of abusive and toxic relationships. I think that very few people figure out immediately that ‘Oh shit. My partner is cruel and abusive towards me, and they are actually not a good person’. It’s more ‘Oh they did manipulate me that one time, and they did do that other horrible thing too, but other times they are really nice and loving! They’re human too and makes mistakes!”.

Tav rationalizes the shit out of everything that man does A LOT. I love writing characters like that. With Tav specifically, her tragic flaw is that she has been abused in the past. She knows how it works. She is aware of what’s going on. And still: a part of her thinks she deserves it, because she sees herself as ‘evil’ too.

(Spoilerspoilerspoiler if you haven’t read the latest chapter. Though it is pretty obvious that it would happen eventually) Even after she is freed, as she has longed for, she goes right back to him, though she knows exactly what kind of person he is. Because the depressing truth about a lot of untreated trauma is that abuse and evil starts feeling safer and more like home, than a functional relationship ever could, because such a relationship is unknown.

I find Raphael interesting for many reasons, but the themes of abuse and toxicity are so interesting for me to work with when it comes to him, because it just makes sense. An abusive relationship with an abusive person on paper sounds horrible and one might not understand how those things even happen. Like why would a person ever “”accept”” being abused?

But then you see someone like Raphael, who we all know is an evil little shit, and we still love him. We still want to be with him, and we are still attracted to him. He has his redeeming qualities and it’s very possible that he has been through some shit himself, sure, but that’s the point: such is the case with most abusers. They don’t appear as monsters or devils (though Raphael quite literally does), they appear as nuanced human beings. Doesn’t make them less abusive or dangerous though.

I like writing about conflicted people who does things against their best interests, because they have been somehow wired or indirectly forced to do so. I like making my characters take decisions that are objectively ‘stupid’, but still make myself (and the reader, hopefully) think about if I really would have done much differently given the same circumstances?

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

(And thank you so much for letting me participate and giving the opportunity to yap about my writing <3<3)

[strawberry-skies-xx]

13, 20, & 22 for the fic asks! fic i choose for 22, of course, that fucked up girl <3 and the mori dazai fic w the matcha tea....both fics have me by. CHOKEHOLD

*walks in 2 days late w iced coffee* that reblog spree on your blog is bc i couldn't find the og post btw and i had the (naive) hope you didn't reblog shit at the speed i did

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

i prefer reading AND writing multi-chapter fics, bc its so much fun to explore stuff. however. The Horrors. i can dream about writing a multi-chapter fic all i want but it doesnt mean ill ever finish it (rest in piece my fleabag fyozai fic that's infamous on my bsd server bc i never shut up about it. also the fyozai betrayal AU fic. pensive emoji.)

20. Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

you make miette search through 84 published works for this...

the fic i'd say i've done the most research on is this one (mafia Dazai training Akutagawa) but the fic i've put the most work into being really good and me liking it has to be this one. its not BSD, but its a character study of a guy from another fandom and his interest in death and passive suicidality. i spent 3 days postponing every single other obligation other than food and just sat in bed writing this. 4th day i did nothing but chores and then i didnt write anything else for a week lol

least work is hard bc i have a philosophy that i can do whatever i want forever so i Will just write something in an hour and post it with no research, all pure self-indulgence. but i'll use a fic i should have done research on: this one. i really should've planned that out better. idk if anyone still follows me for httyd or has read that fic of mine but i do plan on rewriting it someday

22. Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

OH boy.

so. fucked-up girl fic actually doesn't Have much real symbolism, only a couple remarks on my headcanons for various things.

today he had to eat an apple whole because he could not pick up a knife-

this one is easy, referencing dazai's suicidality and the fact he is trying. just a slight reference to him actively changing/being unable to do something, and also his issues with food.

He starts targeting.

Dazai is very, very still.

Atsushi backtracks so fast that he stumbles over his words, forgetting entirely Dazai’s contradictory explanations,

little things about dazai's manipulation in everything. boy can't admit shit. he's very roundabout with admitting anything close to himself (why i hc fyodor is so good for him, because they can trade those vague references back and forth and understand each other) and a trait i assign to him is saying vulnerable things in as few words as possible. he doesn't explain stuff.

Dazai’s body aches, and he turns, walks over to his desk, sits down. His clothes constrict.

gender issues but also, as mentioned in my comment on your fic, i hc dazai just hates his body. he has to shower with the lights off sometimes, can get dressed without looking at himself once. he very much dislikes perceiving the fact he has a body.

The ADA thinks that they’re dating. Him and Yosano. 

not symbolism or a hc but this was the premise of the entire fic. the agency thinking dazai and yosano were dating when really dazai just had severe gender envy

“Zai.”

little hc! yosano specifically uses this nickname for dazai when affectionate. atsushi and kunikida don't use any actual nicknames derived from his name; chuuya uses this nickname sometimes; ranpo uses this nickname somewhere between chuuya and yosano bc ranpo is putting in the least effort to get his attention lol

The conclusion is obvious. Dazai should explain that’s not what he means, but he can’t get his mouth to work to speak honestly. 

this whole conversation was the biggest indicator of dazai being unable to elaborate/saying things in as few words as possible. he's not a pathological liar, i just think sometimes it is physically painful to have to elaborate vulnerable things verbally for him. e.g. "it's because you're a woman" and yosano having to debate the fact dazai could be going after her, dazai Knowing what kind of conclusion she'd jump to immediately As a woman, and yet he just cannot explain it further because it is vulnerability. HENCE why i like him and fyodor, because fyodor can make those kinds of connections as quick as dazai can.

"Women are really pretty~”

not a hc or symbolism but. Boy why do you talk about women so much and yet date none of them. almost actively make yourself undesirable to them. Sir. My guy. i know what you are

“There’s a word for it?”

special lil hc i have. the mafia is very open and accepting because they simply have bigger priorities than who's kissing who. mori simply does not give a shit if his agents are consorting or if his lead agent goes from a girl to a guy. he won't provide monetary support and unless it's physically disabling he won't make exceptions to rules, but if he's told that someone's pronouns have changed or whatever he'll go "cool" and change the name/pronouns in all of the system, start using them, and be done with it. his only concern is performance and as far as he cares, sex and gender are irrelevant. (on that note, harrassment isn't tolerated because why are you harrassing them for being gay when you can harrass them for the multiple enemies they didn't kill last mission. cmon now.)

this also comes with the caveat that the kids raised in the mafia aren't really educated on it. they're taught normal class subjects, e.g. math, english, etc. and they're taught mafia protocol, and they're allowed to get their own reading material, but the mafia puts in as much effort to teach them about queer people as they do to teach them about heterosexual people. (they do get sex ed tho, which is basic as ever, and which dazai is a whole menace during)

and dazai, obviously, would not really be that interested in either to read about. being brought in so young, i think he was never really taught bias against queer people, so when he had the revelation that he liked chuuya he was just kinda. oh ok. and when he has the feelings about his body that he doesn't like it, he has much bigger priorities (namely the quickest way to die) than figuring out whatever the hell that is.

so it ends up that dazai just kinda is queer and has no idea what it is. he knows he hates his body and he knows he likes chuuya, probably has some surface level knowledge of gay/bi/lesbian/etc. but otherwise no, he's never sought out specifically to figure out the terms for what he's feeling. he actually really hates perceiving himself in any way lol

He still looks like himself,

this little bit: he hates perceiving himself in any way, but he still wants to be him. he doesn't want to change his name or his reputation or whatever else, he doesn't want to be a different person. he just wants to be a dazai that he likes.

It would look wrong be inconvenient for him, and take so much effort. Just… so much. So much that he can’t handle. Managing himself is hard regularly - adding on this, whatever it is, would be biting off more than he could chew. 

there's a river called de nile-

dazai is denying the fact he thinks being a woman would look wrong because of his years of being in a masculine body like he is, hence the calluses mention. but he also is right, that he wouldn't be able to upkeep it. he has to be in a better spot/it has to be something very slow and gradual for him to be able to keep it up long enough to maintain a desirable appearance. he's sorta using it as an excuse to not do it but also he just doesn't want to put in that much effort into it.

now for the matcha fic!

Very big hc and symbolism for this fic: Dazai's ability.

it is an ability nullifier, and i stand by the idea that abilities have some kind of effect on their user and are somewhat sentient. Atsushi's tiger, for one, is not only a transformation but the shape of the ability inside him, and Kyouka's Demon Snow is a whole being as the ability itself.

so for Dazai, he described it once as an "anti-ability." which. what the hell. whump beams him.

i have the hc that Dazai's ability makes him cold because most ability users can feel their ability hummign beneath their skin. most abilities are warm, alive, and it's like a constant low electric current or adrenaline rushing through them, as omnipresent as a heartbeat or breath. just a fact of being alive is that feeling. so then: when Dazai nullifies other people's ability, they can Feel the absence of it, they can feel very empty and very cold. when Dazai is the host of that nullification ability, it's just that electric warmth reversed. an icy cold, all the time, because NLH is a black hole as opposed to a sun. (all my metaphors relate NLH more to an icy lake, but that's the dichotomy)

i don't ascribe Dazai's emptiness entirely to NLH, but i do think it contributes and that he has a complex about the relationship between his own issues with emotion, empathy, and the fact NLH lives inside him.

and that cold gets much worse whenever Dazai actually does nullify an ability depending on how strong it is/how much is being used at the time, therefore the remark about him making a science on how bad it'll affect him, and that scene about him being overwhelmed by nullifying Chuuya's ability; he miscalculated, and was caught off guard by NLH activating so strongly, esp given his injuries and physical weakness already in that moment

and another little HC: Dazai's hinted to have been in an even worse place before Mori and abilities are said to be activated from trauma. so i like to hc Dazai's ability as activating from the result of being tortured with abilities, from a deep desire to stop the torture, also in some kind of lab setting. and from there, Dazai escaped, and Mori got this very damaged child.

so then, through the matcha fic, Dazai latches onto it because the warmth of the tea chases away the cold of NLH.

another thread through this fic: Mori and Dazai's relationship. i think Mori was trying to keep Dazai alive as an asset to the mafia, and that he never... regretted? bringing him in as much as wished Dazai had never shown up at his doorstep in the first place, because Mori sees the value of his skills way too much to regret using them. but Mori also knows kids aren't supposed to do what Dazai is doing. and he also sees the emptiness in Dazai and all his general issues. so it's this very messy tangle of like. Mori can't care for him like a father because, yknow, mafia boss and Mori himself also has manipulation and control issues, but also he's much fonder of him than most others, even Chuuya. no one else would have been able to get away with all the shenanigans Dazai inflicts on him (that kid bullies mori so hard. it's very comical). Mori is simultaneously training him and raising him in a life-or-death environment for them both and it's so messy.

“I’ll make us all some hot tea!” Atsushi raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you sure you won’t… burn the Agency down, Dazai?”

little note here: i think dazai curates an image of incompetency specifically because of his competency in the mafia. obviously everyone there knows he's actually competent, but he hides just how competent he is. partially to get up to his own shenanigans hiding his mafia connections and whatever else, but also partially because he doesn't want to be known as something like the demon prodigy again.

when it's serious, they know he can hold his own (prison arc) but otherwise. he is faking so much incompetency.

“I’ll make a deal - if you manage to make matcha tea as well as I do, I can get you your own expensive set for the holidays~”

ok listen. listen. the slap that dazai gave atsushi lives rent free in my mind because of the moment of hesitation just before it. everyone villainizes dazai for slapping atsushi while entirely ignoring the brief hesitation just before it.

dazai was both trained (as an agent) and raised (as a teenager) by mori. and oda was not a very good dad either. he doesn't have the best role model, for one. but he's also very self-aware when he's older and i think he can separate "father" mori and "mafia boss" mori in his actions. he knows when mori was trying to raise him and he knows when mori was trying to train him.

now. now guess what dazai is to atsushi. a trainer. and dazai is still taking the place of someone older and more experienced teaching atsushi not only combat skills but also life skills/growing-up skills. and we all saw how dazai got with akutagawa; that was an environment conducive to that kind of treatment, where that was being encouraged.

now the agency doesn't condone physical violence and dazai knows that. and he is very clearly trying to be a good person like oda asked him to. so, with that moment of hesitation, he clearly did not want to slap atsushi. but someone else's post words this better: he got complacent at the agency, forgot mori's ruthlessness, and with the threat against atsushi and release of Q he remembered he couldn't be so complacent and began to slip back into the old mafia thinking as a way to survive.

and with atsushi breaking down and not listening to him, the agency threatened by mori and Q, a threat that made even dazai flinch, i hc he got overwhelmed, knew there was one method that got guaranteed results, knew the agency didn't condone it, but was overwhelmed enough that he just. lashed out in a way he knew guaranteed would work, and would get atsushi to listen to him.

so . very long rant just to say that i think dazai is fighting, a bit, to balance his experience of being trained-and-raised, with him training-and-raising atsushi, but he knows the difference clearly between the two and so he'll cherrypick actions like the deal mori made with the matcha tea.

deep breath. it's been like an hour and a half. jfc. anyway there's your answers hsfdbhsdf i have many many thoughts on dazai

ty for asking!

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Back at it again with my self-indulgent comic posts. This time! It’s Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #3, perhaps the most tonally-distinct entry yet, with shades of The Twilight Zone. 

Spoilers!

So, as mentioned, this issue is the most deliberate in terms of both its pacing and its tone, IMO.

What is that tone, you ask?

To quote Alex Danvers, from “Midvale”: Hello, darkness.

THE STORY:

Kara and Ruthye are still looking for Krem Clues in the alien town of Maypole.

(Which is actually just Small Town, USA, complete with vintage 50s aesthetics.)

But the locals are clearly hiding something! So Kara and Ruthye continue to investigate, and they eventually discover what it was that the residents of Maypole were so keen to keep hidden. 

Genocide, basically. 

As I said, this issue struck me as very Twilight Zone; a genre story involving the build-up to a dark twist, all set against the backdrop of an idyllic small town. (Think, like, “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street” but instead of focusing on the Red Scare, it’s classism and racism.)

The wealthier blue aliens kicked all of the purple aliens out of town, and when space pirates showed up to pillage and plunder, the blue aliens made a deal with them: the lives of the purple aliens in exchange for their safety.  

Which is where the episodic story connects to the larger mission; it was Krem who suggested the trade, and then joined up with the Brigands (space pirates) when he was freed by the blue aliens.

The issue ends with no tidy resolution to the terrible things Kara and Ruthye discovered, but they do have a lead on where to find Krem, now, as well as Barbond’s Brigands.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

Ironically, it’s here, in the darkest chapter yet, that we get the closest to what might be considered ‘classic’ Kara. 

Which I think comes down to that aforementioned deliberate pace--this issue is a little slower, a little quieter. It gives the characters some room to breathe.

That’s not to say Crusty Kara is gone. Oh no. She is still very much Crusty. XD 

But anyways. A list! Of Kara moments I loved!

I mentioned a few of these in a prior post when the preview pages came out: I like the moment where Kara blows down the guy’s house of cards, and I like that the action is echoed later in the issue when she grabs the mayor’s desk and tosses it aside. A nice visual representation of the escalation of Kara being, like. Done with these creeps. (Creeps is an understatement but you get the idea.)

Another one from the preview pages: Kara explains to Ruthye that her super hearing won’t necessarily help her detect a lie, especially if she’s dealing with an alien species she’s not familiar with.

It not only reveals her level of competence and understanding of her super powers, it also shows that, you know. She’s a thinker. She’s smart. 

Amazing! Showing, rather than telling us, that Kara is smart! Without mentioning the science guild at all wow hey wow.

(Sorry, pointed criticism of the SG show fandom.)

Anyways.

I dig the PJs! 

And Kara catching the bullet! Not only are the poses and character acting great, it’s also a neat bit of panel composition:

We start with Ruthye’s POV, and then move to the wide shot of the room. The panel where Kara actually catches the bullet is down and to the side of the wide shot panel--we move our eyes the way her body/arm would have to move to intercept the bullet. Physicality in static, 2D images!

Also, like. It’s a very tense moment, life-or-death, but. Ruthye’s wide-eyed surprise at the bullet in Kara’s hand? Kind of adorable. 

I was pretty much prepared for the page of Kara shielding Ruthye from the gunfire to be the highlight--it was one of the first pages King shared and I was like, ‘yeah, YEAH.’ But, shockingly? The TRUE highlight of the issue?

Where do I BEGIN?!?!

EVERYTHING. About this moment. Is lovely.

From Kara holding Ruthye above the bench to explaining the concept of a piggyback ride, to telling her:

“I’m going to hold my hands here, and these hands can turn coal into diamonds, so they’re not going to let go. I’m going to keep you safe.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG.

Ruthye’s narration--about how Kara had avoided flying as she was concerned it would freak Ruthye out--just adds a whole additional layer of YES, GOOD, YES, and her line on that splash page is great: “You see, all that time, she was worried about me.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG. AGAIN.

To say nothing of the STELLAR ARTWORK.

And SPEAKING of that stellar artwork, Evely and Lopes continue to knock it out of the park. Each issue is distinct and beautifully crafted, a true joy to look at.

Before I jump into more of the art, a few final notes of character stuff in general.

Ruthye is the one most affected by the experience in Maypole, as she can’t comprehend how a society of people that look so nice and gentle and peaceful could have been party to such a horrible act.

One of the big criticisms of the book thus far is that Supergirl is not the main character, and I guess I can agree with that observation. Typically, in Western media, the main character is the one who goes through the most change in the story. 

And, yeah. That’s Ruthye.

As I was reading the end, where Ruthye sits on the curb and Kara hugs her, I was imagining how the scene would’ve played, had King stuck with the original idea for the series: Kara as the one learning to be tough/experiencing all of this for the first time, and while I think that could certainly work...

I continue to appreciate that King literally flipped the script; that Kara, especially in this issue, is like, ‘I’ve seen this, I know this,’ as opposed to being the one going through a loss of innocence.

*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat!

Because Kara’s been a teen in DC comics for so long--ever since she was reintroduced to the main DCU continuity, actually--so this is all brand new territory, here. Having an older Kara who’s SEEN SOME STUFF.

(Alsoooooo, since Bendis made the destruction of Krypton not just inaction and climate disaster, but rather, genocide, and the subtext of a Kryptonian diaspora text, the waitress’ derogatory comment regarding the the destruction of Kryton, as well as Kara picking up the bad vibes the entire time, suggests not just a broad commentary on discrimination in all its forms, but specifically allegorical anti-Semitism. The purple aliens being forced out of their homes and into substandard living conditions, then the blue aliens--their neighbors and once-fellow residents--essentially allowing the space pirates to kill them, making them literal scapegoats, Kara discovering the remains of the purple aliens, and Ruthye’s horror at the ‘banality of evil’...yes. A case could be made, I think.) 

(Which would probably require a post unto itself and a lot more in-depth discussion, nuance, and cited sources.)

(Should mention that King has brought up that both he and Orlando--the other Supergirl writer he talked to--are Jewish, and for him personally, that shaped his views on Kara’s origin story.)

I guess my point is that this issue is perhaps not as out-of-left-field as some might think, and just because there isn’t as obvious an arc for Kara, doesn’t mean there isn’t some sharp character work at play. 

(I could be WAY OFF, of course, and I’m not suggesting it’s a clear 1:1 comparison. I’d actually really love to hear King talk about this issue in particular.)

Anyways.

Here’s the final page, which I think works, because as I mentioned before, there is no easy answer/quick wrap-up to the story of Maypole:

THE ART:

I mean. How many times can I just shout ‘ART! AAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!’ before it gets old?

I dunno, but I guess we’re gonna FIND OUT.

There are some panels in this issue that I just. Like ‘em! From a purely artistic standpoint! Because they’re so good!

Like, I just really love the way Kara is drawn in that top panel. Her troubled, confused expression, the colors of the fading light, the HAIR. 

Evely draws the best hair. I know I’ve said this before. I don’t care. I will continue to say it, because it continues to be true.

The issue I find myself running up against when I make these posts is that I really don’t want to post whole pages, as that’s generally frowned upon (re: pirating etc.) but with something like this, you just can’t appreciate it in panel-by-panel snippets.

(Guided View on digital reading platforms is a BANE and a POX I say!)

Anyways.

LOVE the implied movement of the cape settling as Kara speeds in and stops. 

And, obviously, Kara flicking the bullet away is just. A+. 

And the EYES, man. LOPES’ COLORS ON THE EYES???!?! BEAUTIFUL.

Also, should note the lettering! The more rounded letters for the ‘WOOSH’ of Kara’s speed (and, earlier, the super breath) work nicely, and contrast with the angular, violent BLAMS of the gunshots. 

And, I gotta say, the editor is doing a really great job of not cluttering up the artwork with all the caption boxes. Which is no small task.

(I assume the editor is placing them, as editors usually handle word balloon/caption box placement, but I suppose it could be Evely? Sometimes the artist handles it. Either way, whoever’s taking care of all the text, EXCELLENT WORK! BRAVO!)

Okay I think that’s everything.

Ah, nope, wait.

MISC.

Just a funny observation, more than anything else: Superman: Red and Blue dropped this week, and King had a story in there, “The Special” (which was very good, btw.) Both Lois and the waitress swear a lot so I’m beginning to think that this is just how King writes dialogue for any adult character who isn’t Clark. XD

This is absolutely a personal preference but when Kara was like, “And my name IS Supergirl,” I was like nooooo. I know King is trying to simplify all of the conflicting origin stories and lore but I LIKE KARA DANVERS, SIR. XD

It’s almost assuredly a cash-grab/an attempt for DC to get all the money it can out of a book they don’t have much confidence in, but I like the cardstock covers! Very classy, much Strange Adventures.

(OH my gosh, can you imagine that issue 1 cover with spot gloss???? Basically the only way you could possibly improve on it.) 

Okay NOW I’m done. For real. XD NEXT TIME: Kara and Ruthye go after Krem and the Brigands!

[thewriting-corner]

‘Renegades’ trilogy by Marissa Meyer: review

Welcome today to a post I have been waiting to do for months. I never do entire posts for book reviews, but since this was a trilogy (and one of my favorites I read this year) I decided it would deserve a little more.

Note: I will be doing a spoiler-free review first and then I’ll put a warning before talking about each individual book :)

Synopsis: The Renegades are a syndicate of prodigies—humans with extraordinary abilities—who emerged from the ruins of a crumbled society and established peace and order where chaos reigned. As champions of justice, they remain a symbol of hope and courage to everyone... except the villains they once overthrew.

Trilogy Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I honestly think these are the best books I’ve ever read. The description was fascinating, easy to follow and gave amazing imagery without that heaviness that a lot of fantasy books have (this is more sci-fi/dystipia-ish but still).

The characters felt real and their individual voices were clear from start to finish. I loved every single character, even the ones I hated. 

However, there is one thing that bothered me BUT it does align with their world and that is the lack of accountability certain characters recieve (but I will be talking about that in my Supernova review).

Then the PLOT OH MY GOSH. I mean, it’s superheroes. It’s nearly impossible to be original with a plot that isn’t the same as any Marvel or DC comic/movie/show. And yet Marissa Meyer that such a beautiful job of taking a common conflict (heroes vs villains, villains wanting to take over the world) and turning it into a unique plot with amazing twists. 

I mentioned the world-building before, but I’ll do it again. Third person POV is not my favorite and neither is heavy world building like the one this book needed and had. Still, it was written in such a simple way that I didn’t feel like she was trying to confuse me, it was just a story.

Overall, this series was amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a fast paced, mind-blowing world building and compelling characters that will make you feel single to the core even in a relationship.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

Renegades ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“We were all villains in the beginning.”

I went into this book with low expectations because I didn’t think I’d like Marissa Meyer’s style and boy was I wrong.

The first few chapters were a bit confusing but the moment Adrian fixed Nova’s bracelet I KNEW this would steer towards romance and it sold me. And then Nightmare making fun of the Sentinel for his comic book phrases and poses was my favorite thing ever. That would be me as a superhero, no doubt.

I really liked the way the plot progressed “slowly” without feeling dragged on. In fact, despite it’s slower pace of the story, the book still felt quick and that just won a million points with me.

Don’t even get me started on the Anarchists. I LOVED them. I like how they weren’t presented as villains from Nova’s POV, just enemies of a totalitarian state. Not even just in her point of view though. I genuinely didn’t think any of them were bad until Ingrid decided to show up at the library and almost killed Sketch’s crew.

And speaking of Sketch’s crew … the minor characters??? Hello??? Who writes side characters that are SO good?? Oscar is my favorite though. He wins. Danna being the only one to question Nova about Adrian’a feelings for her was hilarious, although it stressed me out that Nova put her to sleep. Counterpoint: it was very cute that the only way she could stop thinking of Adrian liking her was by putting Danna to sleep. Very on point teenage reaction. I would’ve done the same thing if only I wasn’t trying to remain anonymous in the organization that indirectly killed my parents. 

The climax, on the other hand, felt a teensy bit rushed but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy Nodrian in their not-date. It was adorable, especially when they stopped at the kid’s party and then Nova panicking over the mere thought of going on the ferris wheel with Adrian. All the carnival chapters where my favorite thing ever and I really wished they hadn’t ended with Nova killing the woman who raised her. But I did like the irony of it being Ingrid who told her she didn’t have the guts to press the trigger and then she died at the hands of Nova’s gun. 

AND THE ENDING WITH ACE BEING ALIVE. That shook me. I suspected it, of course, but it shook me to my core. 10/10 plot twist there.

Archenemies ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“I guess I figured you deserve to have good dreams every once in a while. Even if you never sleep.”

This one gets six stars because somehow I read it in 11 hours and I’ve never read such a large book in one day. The entire story was just fast-paced action, superhero world building and Nodrian flirting and eventually kissing. Best book ever.

I liked how in this book we got a closer look into other character relationships like Oscar and Ruby and then Danna’s suspicions over Nova. I would’ve liked to see more of Danna’s friendship with the team though, since at times it seemed she was only there to send passive aggressive comments at Nova. And the Sentinel’s “death” was amazing. Pure comic book material right there. 

There is this thing though that I mentioned in the general review that bothered me and it’s when they reveal Agent N. This weapon they created using Max’s blood is a great example of how the Renegades had obtained way too much power. It’s when we start to see that maybe Nova and the Anarchists are right. The Renegades are slowly becoming a dictatorship and it’s bothersome that nobody except Nova and Adrian notice. Especially when it was so obvious with things like them using Agent N “against every prodigy who didn’t follow the Renegades code”. Sure, they were criminals, but that wasn’t about arresting them. It was about changing the DNA of people who made one mistake and were immediately deemed enemies of the state.

Back to the good stuff, Nodrian flirting was the highlight of this book. They’re both so awkward and adorable, especially when Nova’s teaching Adrian how to shoot and then when they’re in his room later on. The whole “you want me to ignore everything?” and “you’re not allowed to have girls in your room?” quotes KILLED me. Those were peak flirting moments and I’m immensely surprised by the way that Marissa Meyer manages to write teenagers realistically as an adult and not even having teenage kids of her own. Also, Nova opening up to Adrian was just. No. It killed me. My ghost is writing this btw.

The ending, once again, amazing. I loved it. Not only did it once again show Frostbite’s true colors, show us how much hate Adrian actually held against Nightmare and the way Nova had softened by the Renegades’ influence. And Ace Anarchy’s capture goes into the good things pile.

Supernova ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“To be honest, I’m not sure there are such things as villains anymore. Maybe there never really were.”

Is it a bad review if I just insert the word “AH” for the next ten lines? Yes? Damn it. I admit that I was expecting something much different, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I have never cursed and squealed so much by reading and had I not bought the hardcover with my own money, I would’ve thrown that book against the wall. It stressed me out. First of all, getting Nova and Adrian kissing in the tunnels a few chapters before Adrian arrests her for being Nightmare was another level of messed up. Clearly, she did everything in her power to save him from her house’s explosion and he threw it out the window in blind anger. And then the whole execution thing??? That was horrifying and it’s when the Renegades’ incompetence really showed its true colors. They couldn’t bring the people back to their side - because they failed - so they sentenced a broken, dying man and an underage girl who acted under the manipulation of her entire family, to death. If Hugh had ever even attempted to find out what happened to both Artino girls, none of that mess would’ve happened, but instead Lady Indomitable died and he went “WELL, can’t do anything about her last task, can we?” I get he was preoccupied by her orphaned son and the Ace of Anarchy, but it was as simple as going back into the house and searching. In fact, this entire book was just showing how their society was crumbling and in the end they went “we were all heroes”. I’m surprised Nova forgave the entire Renegades organization for what they did because even if it was Ace who sent a hit after her and her family, the Renegades were still willing to overuse their power. 

And once again back to the good stuff before I end up bashing the Renegades even more, I never thought I would be on board with Adrian and Nova’s relationship at the end of the book. I try not to ship toxic relationships in YA because they happen a lot and I wouldn’t like younger readers to think that it’s okay, but I loved how both Nova and Adrian were willing to make a change for their relationship to work. They compromised because they loved each other so much it didn’t matter who had tried to kill the other person and their dad or who hadn’t advocated against the other’s execution, you know, the ups and downs of every relationship. While I do wish we had seen them talking about everything, I get a book can only have a certain amount of words and I was glad just the same with how it ended. Also, Leroy’s threat to Adrian is iconic, just like Oscar proclaiming his undying love for Ruby at the arena were they almost witnessed multiple murders.

The epilogue. Just. Wow. I knew it before because I’m smart and I spoiled it but I NEED another Renegades book. You can’t just end the series saying Evie Artino was Magpie and her being as angry as Nova once was. Like, no. You just can’t. That was a crime against humanity, tbh, but overall the series was amazing and I have never been more grateful to spend almost $80 in books. 

[staygoldaj]

Analysis on the MHA Girls

(Part I: Uraraka & Momo)

I know that the fandom tends to dislike these queens and push them aside, and I know Hori doesn't really know how to write women, but what he has given us is great and I wish the fans would appreciate these awesome ladies more. So here's an analysis for my girls, I wanna do an analysis on the three musketeers (broccoli, popcorn, & candy cane) so that'll be posted soon too :)

Uraraka

BEST. GIRL. I love Uraraka so much, she is the reason why I started watching MHA and she's such a sweetheart, I wish she wasn't so hated amongst the fandom.

We first meet her as this wholesome, bubbly girl who saves Midoriya from falling, and it's pretty clear that she's gonna be the main love interest. Honestly, I was a little disappointed during her first few scenes. Like I said, she was the reason why I started MHA, and she turns out to be the typical sweet girl the main dude has a crush on. I didn't have high hopes tbh. What first intrigued me was when she admits her reasons for becoming a hero. You would never expect the innocent girl-next-door love interest to be doing something for money. Even she herself says it's "such an unwholesome motivation" in comparison to Midoriya's and Iida's reasons, and she gets praised for "looking out for herself." This is the first misconception I see often on her character; she wants money for herself because she's poor. If you look into her reasons, she just wants to make money for her parents, not for her, so that her parents can take it easy. She is just as selfless as Midoriya and Kirishima, but I don't see her get praised for her selflessness nearly as much as for those two or other characters. I also really like the small flashback they included; her father tells her to not worry about them and to follow her dreams. Whether at the start Uraraka truly wanted to be a hero or solely did it for the money is up for interpretation. I personally think she started solely for the money, which I'll get into after I talk about the Sports Festival.

Uraraka vs. Bakugo is one of the most emotional fights in my opinion, and it's one of my favorites. EVERYONE in that stadium underestimated her. I'm not going to say that the reason was because she was a woman, but rather, Bakugo is pretty ruthless and powerful, where as she is not, and people knew that. The fact that she was a "small young girl" just added more fuel to that, if that makes sense. And this best girl did what she could to prove EVERYONE wrong. This is where Uraraka proves that she isn't a typical sweet shonen love interest and I wish people took notice in that. People think of ambitious, determined, driven, cunning, and powerful women as dark and mysterious, femme fatale so to speak. But this fight shows that Uraraka, a pretty extroverted, kind, and bubbly person, is all of those qualities, just as ambitious and determined as the strongest male characters in the show, such as Bakugo and Todoroki.

And when she loses the fight (after basically passing out btw, queen didn't stop until the very end), she doesn't just mope and quit and wait for encouraging words from her love interest, she 1. GIVES the encouraging words TO her love interest and 2. she understands that her quirk alone isn't going to be enough to get her to the top, so she carefully chooses a hero agency where she knows she will be taught combat, AND SHE LEARNS. The next time her class is attacked by villains, she single-handedly takes down one of the more dangerous members without a quirk, just with the fighting skills she took the time to learn.

Back to what I said earlier, Uraraka started her hero journey solely for money. This plays directly into her development in seasons 3 and 4, which is criminally underrated. She sees her entire class working harder than ever, and even though she's dealing with unfamiliar emotions, she decides to push those emotions aside to not fall behind, determined to be a good student and hero like her classmates. During the events at Shie Hassaikai, Uraraka finally learns the true environment a hero works in. Failing to save Nighteye, she realizes that what she truly wants for herself isn't money or Midoriya, it's being a hero who saves people. I believe Nighteye's death directly ties into the "who protects heroes when they need protection?" line. This recent chapter in the manga makes me think that she's gonna do something big and go through a character arc. I said this on Twitter and I'll say it here, I want Uraraka to become a hero who protects heroes (whatever that could mean, it has a nice ring to it lol). Honestly, her character has sm potential, I'm excited for what Horikoshi has in store for her.

Momo

God is a woman and that woman is Momo Yaoyorozu. I'm tired of people calling her annoying because of one episode, as if you've never had self-esteem problems before 🙄 so now I'm going to talk about why she's amazing 😋

My initial impression of Momo was the typical smart girl, stern, formal, and aloof, but still caring. And as I rewatch the series, I believe this is what Horikoshi was going for at first. I think her voice was deeper in the first season too. As much as I love the Erza type of characters, I love where Horikoshi ended up going with Momo. As a teenage girl, I find the arc she went through during season 2 very relatable. It's obvious that Momo was raised to have full confidence in herself. While she may not show it like Bakugo does, I think it's obvious that she's not used to losing, she was probably praised for having an amazing quirk growing up, like Bakugo, but is a way more humble about it because she was raised differently. So at the Sports Festival, she experiences losing, seemingly for the first time, in a place where she just can't afford to lose. But she does. And this takes a huge toll on her.

She's rich, pretty, the top student in class, and admired by her peers, but obviously that's not what mattered to Momo. What mattered to her most in that moment was looking good in front of agencies, what mattered most was to be a worthy hero, and she feels like she's failed. She seeks guidance from a female hero, hoping to have a female role model guide her through issues she has as a 15 year old girl, but instead finds herself being used for her looks. Again, Momo doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to be considered a worthy hero, and her defeat at the Sports Festival made her completely lose the confidence she needed to accomplish that goal.

Now we have the Yaoyorozu Rising episode. Fans who hate her often refer to this episode as "evidence for Todomomo", "her being annoying by not knowing what to do," etc. etc. etc. 🙄

I like Todomomo. It's a cute and healthy ship. There are WAY more Todomomo scenes, not in this episode. Todoroki is a side character in Momo's story in this episode. This episode is MOMO'S. Sorry but she’s not sharing the spotlight. I know that seems a little aggressive, sorry, but this episode shows a lot of development in Momo, and it just gets brushed off as Todomomo content when it's not. She did know what to do, btw, she has a plan. She didn't know how to communicate that. She didn't want to communicate that. She was scared that her plan wouldn't work. She was scared that she'd fail. All of that stems back to her defeat at the Sports Festival, she has lost a major amount of confidence, and Aizawa and Todoroki notice this. Aizawa even says that her actions are of a normal 15 year old girl's, and even though he wished to help her, he couldn't, so Todoroki does it in his place. This is something I notice about Momo that is one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in a teenage girl in not just shonen, anime but just in fiction in general: she knows she has a good plan, but she doesn't have confidence in it until someone else gives her the validation. Upon seeing that others trust her, she regains her confidence and fulfills her plans with excellency. She is a REALISTIC 15 YEAR OLD GIRL which is honestly SO refreshing to see in a work of fiction. It's what I love about her character: she represents many teenagers, girls, boys, and theys alike.

And yeah, it might've been annoying if she had stayed the "has good plans but only executes them if she gets the validation from others" type of character. But she doesn't. By season 3, she has shown a significant amount of growth. She is shown to be more of a leader now that she's more confident in herself, and she's still dealing with it (that one scene with Sero & Jiro 💀), but she's gotten a lot better after realizing her worth, after realizing the trust others have in her, after realizing that others see her as an intelligent leader. So in the forest, she quickly comes up with a plan and executes it quickly. Had she not done this, had she not thought and acted quickly, who knows how long it would've taken before the heroes found Bakugo.

Another thing I want to mention before I finish Momo's section- at the hospital, All Might calls her a worthy hero because of her actions. It was her inability to act quickly at the Sports Festival that made her doubt her worth, and it's her ability to act quickly that makes All Might see it. I think this plays a major role for her character, maybe why she ultimately decided to go on the mission to save Bakugo. She's gonna have some of the spotlight to herself during the Joint Training Battle.

I also want to mention something from the manga, if you don't want spoilers then don't read this part.

Some of Midnight's last words in the manga are "Yaoyorozu's going to make a fine leader someday," which shows how her peers and mentors alike notice her potential. Additionally, she proves this statement right by quickly coming up with a plan to stop Gigantomachia. I'm very excited to see how Momo develops into an even more inspiring leader as the manga continues.

[krispydefendorpolice]

The Demon’s Bride (5)

So, call out for this post is....Broken Harmony by @dessarious . It’s an amazing take on a soulmate AU. I freaking enjoy every new update.

Beginning Previous Next Masterpost

___________________

The buzz of excitement filled Damian all morning. Their year’s Blade Master had finally decided they were ready to start sparring. (They weren’t. They were meant to work on forms in pairs and how the moves worked to counter each other.)

As the students paired up he was left with one of the quietest and smallest girls in the class. This will be so boring, he thought to himself as he looked around for any of the other children that would be suitable for his level of training, but everyone else was already paired and had begun moving.

“Thank you for your time,” the girl said with a shallow bow before settling into the opening stance.

“You should be,” Damian said announced haughtily. He was the grandson of the Demon’s Head. She should be grateful he would spar with someone so beneath his training.

The girl narrowed her eyes at him but kept silent as they began the movements of the forms. They continued at a steady rhythm until Damian started to get bored with this practice.

“Hey,” she exclaimed as Damian changed his next block into a counter strike and tagged the girl on the arm.

One of the trainers that was overseeing their practice came over to watch them.

“Back into position,” they barked at the two.

Damian glared at the girl as they resumed their forms under the trainer’s supervision. The trainer watched them closely for a moment before another pair of students called his attention away. Damian continued following the approved forms until he got bored again. Ignoring the next steps in the assigned form he performed a quick series of jerky jabs at the girl hitting her a couple of times.

Instead of yelling out again she narrowed her eyes and waited, blocking his hits until she had an opening. In a quick move she dropped to a crouch and kicked his legs out from under him.

Damian grunted as he landed hard on his backside. He flushed red as the other students in the class laughed at him.

“Enough,” the Blade Master said walking over to them. “Go stand in the hallway until I come talk to you. The both of you,” she said as Damian stood up.

“Yes Blade Master,” the girl dropped her head in shame as she walked towards the door of the training room.

“Go,” the trainer interrupted Damian as he started to argue.

He stomped his way to the hallway where the girl was already standing against the wall for their punishment.

How dare they make me stand out here. I’m an Al Ghul, he sulked to himself as he stood and waited for the trainer.

They waited maybe ten minutes until the Blade Master came outside. She turned to the girl first. “Do you understand what you did wrong?”

“Yes Blade Master, I did not follow the assigned steps. I deviated from the pattern and could have hurt another trainee.”

“Go pair with trainee Juleka. Every third pattern I want you to check her steps and ensure she maintains a strong stance. Understood?”

“Yes Blade Master,” she said bowing before entering the training room.

Damian looked at the trainer defiantly as he waited for his punishment.

The trainer knelt before him so they were nearly at eye level. “I’m disappointed in your actions in there Young Master,” she said in an even tone.

Damian flinched at that. Oh no, he failed in his training. Now she was going to tell his mother and she was going to be mad at him for failing and he was going to get extra training that weekend.

Damian blinked at the Trainer when she lifted his chin up to meet her eyes again. “I’m not disappointed that you were able to do moves that are above your year group. I know that you have more training than the other students because of your private training. I’m disappointed that you did not have the discipline to follow the assigned practice.”

Damian dropped his eyes. His tummy felt weird. All squirmy and achy and he couldn’t look at her sad eyes anymore.

“I know you are doing better than most of your year, I’m going to ask that you take the extra training with the advanced students. However, I want you to practice discipline while we are in the regular training class and do what the other students are doing. Do you understand?” she asked.

“Yes Blade Master,” Damian whispered to the floor at his feet.

“Good. If you can do that then I won’t have to mention why you fell during class to your mother now will I,” she asked and smiled when Damian jerked his head up to look at her. “Go back inside and pair up with Kagami, same orders as I gave Marinette. Every third form give her feedback. Understood?”

“Yes Blade Master Cheng, I understand,” Damian said with a small smile in return.

*******************

“Really, Master Jason, I don’t see why you need to be laughing like one of Ms Quinn’s pets,” Alfred said.

Todd, who was on the floor he was laughing so hard, just waved a hand at Alfred. But he didn’t stop laughing. The others were looking at him because what was so funny about the story Damian told them?

“Demon Spawn, Mr.-I’m-A-Perfect-Warrior, himself, got taken down by a little girl,” Jason hooted.

Damian was irritated by the howling of his idiotic brother. “I was five, lackwit. And she wasn’t just any trainee, she was the Blade Master’s daughter. She had just as much training as I did.” He sighed in frustration and leaned back in his seat. “Though I was admittedly arrogant and as my Master said undisciplined at the time.”

“You respect the trainer?” Dick asked when he noted the respect Damian used when speaking of her.

“Sabine Cheng was an amazing trainer, but more than that she was an amazing mother. Even to a neglected, arrogant brat like myself.” Damian said with a small smile. (Minuscule really, barely even there. “Lies Grayson. I don’t smile. I am the Night.”)

“Cheng? Marinette’s mother?” Tim asked. He had read the file Damian pulled up over his brothers shoulder back in the cave.

Jason stopped laughing as he turned with the others to look at Damian for his response.

“The same. And yes it was Mari that knocked me down and taught me humility. And brought me to the people that would first teach me what it meant to be family.”

______________

Sabine is a good mama in this story. I swear she’s a part of the league for reasons. (How many are groaning with that teaser😈) I do have some ideas of where this story is going but I’m not sure how we’re getting there and the next chapter is the result of the what?? when that happens to me. Still gotta polish it but I might just end up leaving it. I’m mostly satisfied with it. I wasn’t lying when I reposted that my characters are always surprising me, my stories tend to be very character driven and I’m just the unreliable navigator that get’s us lost in Utah when we’re trying to get to Texas (I just pulled random states out of the air). BTW, I did make a one word change in the last two chapters, instead of Marinette going to the Manor for lunch I changed it to dinner. (If anyone noticed that).

Out of curiosity what are thoughts on my little narrator inserts from the characters/narrator? You know the random thoughts (“those are random?” Shut it, Todd). I’m enjoying them and they’re not going away but I was wondering about others impressions.

Ok, on to the taglist and thank you for reading. First @mindfulmagics cuz seriously Demon’s Bride wouldn’t be here without you and @ozmav starting this crazy train

@multifandomscribette @mochinek0 @inevitableenquere @zebrabaker @poshplumcot @tog84 @luciferge @sonif50 @ravennightingaleandavatempus @northernbluetongue @actual-human-disaster @clumsy-owl-4178 @aarushi-03 @bluerosette23 @g-arya @moonyloonyx @fertileleaf @shreky-boi @thanks-captain-obvious @panda3506 @hinata3487 @thequestionablyhuman @dontgiveaflyinflip @dast218 @chocolatecatstheron @asianfrustration13 @slytherinsheashire @weird-pale-blonde-person @yin-390 @mycupisbroken @vixen-uchiha @kuroko26 @autisticlinx @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mariae2900 @zalladane @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @tbehartoo @novicevoice @violatiger8 @thebookish3lf @fandomkitty8 @redscarlet95 @gingersnapnoir @chewbaccaatemythoughts @thepeacetea @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @winter-gardenflower @schrodingers25

[themightyaliendwarf]

TPN - Moms' Song of Remembrance

So! I'm finally done with the second light novel (I had some free time, so I decided to read the whole thing since it's quite short), and I have some thoughts. But first, let's cover the basics.

Moms' Song of Remembrance is the second TPN light novel (the first one being the Letter from Norman) and, I believe, it still doesn't have the English translation. It was published in Japan along with the volume 12 of the manga, and it consists of two stories - one about Isabella and the other one about Krone (actually, in Polish the novel is named "Memories of Mother and Sister" and I think this title is a bit more fitting).

Without spoiling anything, I gotta say, I liked the first novel better. It doesn't mean that this one is bad or anything! I just feel like the first one had more to offer. In Letter from Norman we find out how lives of our main characters looked like before we met them. And while we could easily fill in the gaps ourselves, I think those 4 short stories we gave us a lot of content. Now, I don't want to talk about the first light novel too much, so let me just say this - A Gift of the 39th Girl. This one story spawned so many fanworks and theories that it fully justifies the existence of the entire novel. But, to be fair, I think the story about the bird was a looot better (heck, it even made me cry!).

So, while the first light novel adds things we could image ourselves, the second novel rather focuses on the stuff we already knew. Okay, this sentence fully applies to the first one, but it is only partly true for the Krone's story (I will talk about it later).

Then again, I wouldn't say it was a bad read. The writing style is definitely better than in the first novel. The pacing is good, the characters are well-portrayed and the stories themselves are well-crafted. But I simply don't feel like this novel add much to world-building.

So, overall, if you are a TPN fan, you will probably like it, but it won't be life changing or anything.

Now onto spoilers!

The first story takes place during Leslie's last 3 day at Grace Field. Apparently, his grades weren't very good and he himself was a shy, taciturn person who wasn't athletic. But, before he leaves the orphanage, he wants to complete 9 things from the list he wrote. Or rather, Isabella convinces him to try to complete all of those things... and it doesn't go so well.

Now, I like the concept. Although predictable, I think it gave us a good opportunity to get to know young Isabella and Leslie better. I really like they weren't just carbon copies of Emma and Norman, because I was kinda afraid they would go for an obvious parallel. Fortunately, they didn't. They both seem like two new, separate characters who exist in this world.

About the plot itself, I liked the execution. I like that Leslie wasn't able to finish all of his goals, but, despite that, he wanted to try. Which is a good thing to have in mind - you don't have to set your goals by compering to others. Think about what you are good at, and what you want to achieve. Maybe Leslie wasn't able to read every book from the library, but he sure master that Chopin's piece (btw. Polish pride).

Also, I liked how this novel explained why Isabella decided to climb that wall. It was also interesting to find out that she had to live in the orphanage with the knowledge of the truth. Kinda like Ray did. Btw. speaking of Ray. Fun trivia #1 from this short story - Isabella's and Ray's hair get very messy after washing. Fun trivia #2 from this short story - Ray actually broke his transmitter on that day when Isabella found out that he knows the truth.

So, yeah, I liked this story. While it didn't give us a lot of new stuff, I think it was pretty good.

Onto the second one... it's chapter 181.2.

And this is why I said the second story focuses on the things we already knew, but not really. Because for Japan, it was new. But for us, since we got the chapter 181.2 first, this story doesn't really provide us anything new.

And that's why I don't really have anything to say about. I think it's a great story, but, because I already knew exactly how it will go, I couldn't fully appreciate it.

On that note, the second story was disappointing in my eyes, but, then again, it's still a good story. It's subjectively better than the first one!

Oh, and one more thing. This picture:

Two things: 1. Where is Ray? 2. Stop bullying Norman. He has done it enough himself already. but if you must, bully anime!Norman. He deserves it :P

(It's a great picture, btw, I'm just nitpicky)

So, to sum up: it was fine :D If you can, go ahead and read it. You will probably enjoy it

[sunfudge]

Regarding that stuff with caleb, it's not as simple as him insulting a fan translator. The fan in question is the one who does the summaries of the leaks, and they're an endeavor stan. For months the endeavor stans on twitter have spread the idea that caleb is biased against endeavor (bc he's made it clear that he doesn't like the character very much on his twitter) and is letting that bias show in his translations, so the fans have been nitpicking his work to prove that point.

The fan translator has been doing comparisons between the original japanese and the official translations every week, but usually the differences were more due to localisation than actual translation mistakes. Either way, some other fans have used those comparisons as ammo to prove that caleb is a bad translator or that he's biased.

Some weeks ago some other account posted a translation mistake in vol 26. It was that scene where shouto tells endeavor that he's using him to become a better hero bc he's the number one. He sounded way more harsh than in the weekly release (and caleb is in charge of both) so people doubled down on their claims that caleb was pushing an anti-endeavor agenda. Caleb made a statement that he doesn't have the final say in what is published and that his work goes through a lot of people before getting published (and was backed up by other professional translators), so he CAN'T push and agenda like that. But people started to harrash him and demand that he was fired.

He went private after that and these lasts three weeks, since the chapters have been focussed on the todorokis, things have gotten even worse bc people were extra nitpicky and claiming that he made endeavor worse than in the original.

The fan translator... Didn't make things any better tbh bc she's an endeavor stan, amd her comparisons between japanese and the official translation has been more focussed on the changes done to endeavor. She could have worded them a little bit better bc her tweets always ended up sounding like she was saying the official translations were wrong.

This past chapter she pointed out that endeavor doesn't use "damm it" in the original when he talks with rei and touya... Some other professional translator pointed out that it was obvious nitpicking bc endeavor didn't cuss in japanese but he was screaming, looking threatening and using not so-polite-japanese.

What called said was in response to what that other professional said, and it may be too much but she (the fan translator) is one of the many people that have been giving ammo to the fandom to harass caleb, and she has quite a big following. She hasn't done much to stop the harassment campaign aside from saying "but this doesn't mean the official translations are wrong, support them" at the end of her threats and it seems like she's even liked some comments against caleb in the past??

Either way things went too far and endeavor stans and friends of the fan translator have been saying that caleb should be fired for being unprofessional (he said that behind a locked account and didn't even @ that fan translator btw), and some others have even tried to find prove that he's done some other bad shit to use it and get him fired. Some other account even accused him of being sexist and racist???

Things went too far and he decided to leave twitter.

This is way too long and my english isn't all that good, sorry 😓, and i can't fault you if you don't read all this hahaha but since people are spreading only the screenshot of him insulting that fan (which again isn't good at all) without the full context to make caleb the only bad guy here when he's been harassed for weeks just bc of a fictional character

Firstly your English is fantastic secondly @lottuseater sent me some context also which I really appreciate so thank you to you both! I understand a lot better now and honestly if I was Caleb I would also crack under the weight of being nitpicked every week. The fact it's Endeavor stans is no suprise to me either :/

Thank you for the context again and I don't want to spread anything that only tells part of a story in a much larger picture so I'm going to delete my reblog since I was unaware of the entire situation. Sucks a lot this has happened, as I did enjoy Caleb's trivia every week since he pointed out things I'd never have noticed before. It's shitty that people thought he was pushing some anti Endeavor agenda when he's just translating the tone and way Endeavor interacts with people. Dammit I believe would make sense in a context if a character is speaking roughly in a way that cannot be contextualised in English, because it makes us understand how rude he's being to his wife

Thank you very much again I really appreciate it!

[etraytin]

Directors cut for “Ourselves and Immortality” (I sobbed, btw, the whole way through it. SOBBED. Especially when Donna has to ID people. But I loved it.)

Ourselves and Immortality is by far the most depressing fic I have ever written, but thinking about it makes me happy because I FINALLY got it finished, woo-hoo! It started out as a one-shot (just like Such A Winter’s Day, in fact), at the beginning of my 100-Day-Fic-A-Day back in 2016. I was in a very creative mood back then and taking pretty much any prompt anybody threw at me. My husband, who is only a very casual TWW fan but gives good prompts, tossed me “Roger Tribbey’s first hour as President.” 

“Wow,” I mused, “Everybody’s going to hate that.” 

But the idea was too tantalizing to pass up; it was so completely unlike anything I had written so far. Even just doing the one-shot involved a fair amount of research, figuring out where Secretary of Agriculture falls in the order of succession and such. Turns out, basically everybody else has to die in order for Roger to land in the hot seat. And if President Bartlet, Vice President Hoynes, and the Cabinet were going down, it seemed obvious that most of the staff would be gone as well. This fic prompt came along just as Designated Survivor was getting started, so I didn't want to go the "terrorists blow up the State of the Union" route, because that felt too done. Unfortunately (or fortunately for real life) there's really not that many ways to take out the government that don't also take out Washington DC and that don't involve targeted building destruction. 

(This got kind of long and involved, so I’m tucking it behind a cut.)

I wound up reaching back into my sci-fi reading childhood, to an original series Star Trek novel called The Pandora Principle. In that novel, the crew discovers an alien artifact and takes it to Starfleet Headquarters for research, only for the artifact, secretly a weapon, to shatter when it is scanned and release a bioagent that eradicates all the oxygen in the air like a self-replicating virus. Everyone in the building dies except for Captain Kirk, who for shenanigan-related reasons is in a self-sealing bunker under the building, and the rest of the novel is devoted to trying to nullify the agent before it manages to escape the hermetically sealed building. It's a great book, evocative and claustrophobic, and I definitely recommend it, but for the purposes of what I thought was a quickie one-shot, I stole the idea of a weapon that could asphyxiate everyone in a building nearly faster than they could realize they were doomed. As the story developed I had to cobble together a little modern-Earth science to flesh it out, but I hoped that the story would hold without much in the way of explanation of how everything had happened. 

One thing that helped was that OaI was not, at its heart, an action adventure story. It was barely a mystery, really. Our main characters were not the ones charged with solving the mystery or catching the bad guy. For the most part, they were not even in direct danger (except for Syl's brief action turn at the end). We spent one chapter with Mike Casper as he investigated and one chapter with the bad guy to get some important creepy exposition, but by far the character we spend the most time with is Roger. It's not Roger's job to know what the Asphyxiant is made of or its exact biological effect, and it's not Roger's job to hunt the bad guys down like dogs in the street. Like pretty much every West Wing story, it's Roger's job to keep the country running, and it's the job of the people around him to help him. The story had to be about what was happening in The White House, with the action-adventure plot clicking along offscreen and occasionally cropping up in a phone call or Sit Room briefing. I had to avoid a lot of temptation, but in a way it made the job easier. West Wing stories are stories about relationships. 

Writing the canon characters was very hard, especially in the beginning. The thing that never caught for me about Designated Survivor was how quickly the survivors moved on after the disaster. Their friends and colleagues were murdered, and there was little indication that anybody even cared. But Margaret, Carol, Mrs. Landingham, Danny and especially Donna, these people were gutted. Every single one of them was utterly devastated, but from Roger's perspective it was hard to see because all of them are so good at their jobs and so dedicated, they'd keep carrying on as best they could until they collapsed. I decided pretty early on that I would start spreading the point of view around so we could see what the characters were going through in their own voices, but that only Roger would get more than one chapter. (I did break this rule right at the end; Donna gets the first and last non-Roger chapters in the story.) Roger's narrative ties the story together but being the President requires one to stay largely in one place while being told things, so spreading out the POV also gave the story a little more momentum.

Donna's first chapter was probably the hardest part of the story to write, both because I am a hardcore J/D shipper and I'd just shut the pairing down in the cruelest of ways, and also because it was through her eyes that I had to bring the scope of the horror home without fully traumatizing the readers. My first draft of the chapter included considerably more time in the refrigerated warehouse with the FBI team, and a lot more detail about the last minutes of the lives of the senior staffers. I ended up going through and cutting a lot of it out, leaving the audience to understand how terrible it was by the way it affected Donna, rather than by my descriptions of it. And yes, it is one of several chapters I cried while writing. There's a reason (several reasons, but my own feels especially) that I had to let Zoey and Charlie live!  And yes, Margaret was speaking for me when she admitted to temporarily forgetting about Annie and Gus, but we got around to them eventually. 

OaI wound up containing most of the material I wrote for it, but it has one deleted scene and one crackadelic alternate ending. The deleted scene occurs shortly before the state funeral and is from Bonnie's perspective; she and Ginger are trying to pack up Sam and Toby's offices to allow the new senior staffers to move in. I got it half-written, then thought I lost it in a computer-related accident. It was so damn sad to write the first time, and it was all character work and only smidgens of plot, and I was really mad about losing the work, so I decided to skip over it and go straight on to the next thing, which I believe may have been Zoey's chapter. It turned out that I did recover most of what I'd written for the chapter, but by the time I found it, the plot had moved on. I tried to make it up to Bonnie by giving her a nice little character bit and a job promotion at the end of the story. 

The crackadelic ending is sort of a long story. Most of the reason that OaI got finished despite all my life changes and busy years and general creative slump is that my parents both fell in love with it. You may ask, "Doesn't having your parents reading your fanfiction make things awkward sometimes?" and in answer I will point you to the number of real sex scenes in my published fanworks, which is zero. And then I will nod enthusiastically. But my dad, especially, loved this story and decided that he ought to be in it. And that he ought to be the Chief Justice. My dad is a retired judge, so he felt this should not be too much of a stretch for him, career-wise. I tried to explain the concept of self-insert to him, but then caved and created a thinly-veiled expy of him to be Chief Justice, then gave him a little ceremony in-story and a few extra mentions here and there. I gave him that chapter as a Christmas present, and he was happy! For awhile. Then he decided that he ought to be the President. I tried to explain to him that this is not how governmenting works, which he of course already knew, but he was firm. His Chief Justice character was great, and he ought to be President. He is nothing if not persistent, and also nothing if not hard to buy gifts for, so for Christmas the next year, I presented him with Chapter 28: The Surprise Noncanonical Epilogue, which has never before been published to the internet. It is very silly. 

This has gotten very long and I still need to write today's Quarantine Journal, so I guess I'll wrap it up there. If you have any specific questions about the story or any other stories, feel free to toss them my way! 

[belphegor1982]

How about the first chapter Tommy appears?

[Pick any passage from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail/submission box. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet!]

Thanks a lot!! (Also I answered this kind of ask about a passage from chapter 2, if you want to take a look - it’s all spoiler-free!)

Here’s Thomas Sean Ferguson’s grand introduction, then :D Oh god, it’s kind of awkward, because like with Blake there’s a certain amount of early installment weirdness. Also I go on and oooooooon (sorry about that). But let’s go!

_________

Quite lost in his thoughts this time, [Jonathan] barely registered that he was walking past the Museum (where Evy is, right now, negotiating the Cairo Museum “lending” the Diamond of Ahm Shere to the British government - which kickstarts the plot) before somebody knocked into him, hard enough for both of them to crumple, breathless, on the ground. It took Jonathan thirty seconds to get his lungs in working order again and, instinctively, check his pockets for anything missing.

A lot of this commentary risks being “this used to be [thing] before I tweaked it in the rewrites”, and a lot of it is because I’ve gained some insight in the past twelve years. Jonathan’s first thought being checking his pockets (which - and I made it explicit in the second or third paragraph of the story :D - comes from his being a skilled pickpocket himself and knowing how it works), however, was there from the very beginning.

“So sorry I bumped into you, mate, didn’t mean to,” came the voice of the attacker. Jonathan’s eyes widened at the sound of this voice and he squinted up at its owner.

And cue Tom Ferguson :D He wasn’t my first OC, far from it (that dubious honour would probably belong to the buttload of OCs I created for my Marauder era story which died when Order of the Phoenix came out), but he was the first I got to really explore and develop, and he ended up one of my favourites ever. Em, I answered an ask of yours way back in 2015, “introduce us to two of your OCs” :o) The first was him, the second was Marguerite LeBeau.

“Tommy? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”

The diamond is the reason the O’Connell-Carnahan gang goes to Egypt, but without Tommy, there’d be no plot. Hamilton would probably still find a way to “retrieve” the diamond from the museum, only without Evy and her family getting personally involved and then having to go back to the UK saying she failed her mission. and then cue the end of the world about a week and a half from there, but shhh - spoilers!

The fellow shook his head, still looking a bit dazed; then his own eyes, round and brown, (so he’s the opposite of Jon in almost every way, physically speaking. Like I said in the aforementioned OC ask, I designed him as a foil for Jon, fundamentally different in some ways but very similar in others. Physically speaking he’s basically Sean Astin (with some James Corden thrown in) with brown eyes, blond hair, and a Liverpool accent.) went even rounder as he stared at Jonathan. “Jon! What the hell are you doing ‘ere?”

For the longest time Tommy used to call Jonathan by his last name here (and Jon’s earlier line used to be “Ferguson? Is that you? Tommy Ferguson?”). I changed it quite recently. I think I wanted to convey the idea that school friends at the time often called each other by their last names; but since he calls Jonathan “Jon” 100% of the time - and is the only one to do so, which I have Feelings about - I went back to correct it.

“Glad to see you too, old chap,” laughed Jonathan, standing up and dusting himself off before offering a hand at the man on the ground, who accepted it gladly.

Heh. Look, one of the staples of Mummy fanfiction was and still is the old school friend of Evy’s who follows either the siblings (TM time) or the whole family (TMR/post-TMR time) to Egypt and falls in love with Ardeth Bay. I’m not throwing stones here; I’ve read a couple I really liked. There’s the odd Jonathan/OFC romance, too. What I set out to do as a baby writer (I was 21 at the time!) and unsuspecting ace was to write something completely devoid of romance (except the odd Evy/Rick snuggle and, of course, all-encompassing love for each other). And then, as I reread the story for rewrites a decade and a half later, I became more and more convinced that Jonathan and Tommy used to be more than friends, and then when Elizabeth came along the three of them got together as a thruple and very happy for a while. (For some reason I couldn’t work this explicitly into FTaH, though - it felt too much like hinting at this huge story I was never going to write and might have made FTaH much too crowded. So it’s up to the reader to decide, really. Personally, I like both options.) So here’s 37 year old me shipping Jon with a female OC and a male OC, and quite enthusiastically, at that. *chuckles* Wonder what my 21 y-o self would think of it…

He hadn’t seen Thomas Ferguson since some time after the end of the war, what felt like ages ago. They’d made quite a pair at Oxford, the two of them – the scrawny, foppish Southerner with the quiet grin and the sticky fingers, and the broad-shouldered, round-faced Scouser with the laughing eyes and the deceptively innocent face. They’d rowed for the Dark Blues for a bit, got properly pickled on Boat Race Nights, and helped each other out of many a tight spot. Oh, for the halcyon days of youth.

One of the reasons I picked up FTaH again is because the second half of 2019 was very, very British for me. I saw (and read) Good Omens for the first time in early June and my feelings exploded; July was very much about discovering the delights of P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Wooster (TV show and books). Halfway through that month I remembered my everlasting fondness for the characters of The Mummy and realised the protagonists and Bertie were the same generation, more or less, and I started imagining a crossover. By the time August rolled in I was fully into TM/TMR again, reading fic and my fingers itching to at least correct some iffy parts of FTaH. This last sentence, about Jon’s and Tom’s Oxford days, would never have come out that way if I hadn’t read Wodehouse.

As soon as Tommy was on his feet he was wringing Jonathan’s hand with all the energy he’d been famous for as a boy. “Sorry, Jon, mate, I was a bit stunned –” After all these years, he still retained some of that accent, too! “– En’t everyday you bump into a pal from Oxford in the middle of Cairo! How’d you get here, for starters?”

…Tommy’s accent. *sighs* I’m not a fan of writing accents phonetically in the first place. When I write Newkirk (Hogan’s Heroes) and his Cockney accent, there isn’t much except the odd “me” for “my” or things like “d’you”. I did have to make it obvious Tommy had an accent, though, if only because later Jonathan is surprised when he tones it down to speak with the curator. (This is something his 18 year old self found incredibly difficult, btw.) @thisstableground oversaw the first chapter and gave me very valuable tips, including “en’t” (// “ain’t), which was super helpful in giving Tommy’s accent its own specificity and meant that I didn’t need him to drop “h”s and “g”s all over the place. (which he does do, but hopefully not in a way that takes you away from the story.)

As for why he’s from Liverpool as opposed to, say, Manchester or the East End of London, the answer is very simple. I’d discovered the Beatles a year or two prior and they remain one of my favourite bands in the whole world ♥

“Well, I followed my sister,” Jonathan replied, grinning. In fifteen years or so, he had not realised how much he had actually missed this accent. “She’s giving a hand to the curator of the Museum of Antiquities – she’s something of an authority now, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh aye? That’s fantastic. I en’t forgotten how you’d talk about her, y’know. On and on and on. I’m curious to see what she looks like.”

Somethingthat didn’t change after rewrites is the idea that Jon was verysecretive about his Oxford years. Tom and Evy never met before this,and Evy hadn’t even heard about Tom before.

Jonathan stole a glance at the entrance steps of the Museum, and turned to Tommy with a smirk. “Really? Well, if you really want to, I suppose I could…”

His sister had just appeared on the stairs, accompanied by the curator, an elderly man with greying hair and whiskers. The curator, Dr Fahad Hakim, has a somewhat larger role later on, but this is just a cameo to let you know he exists :o) There’s another mention earlier, too. Tommy followed Jonathan’s gaze and looked at them, goggling at Evy in particular.

“Jon – are my eyes mistaken, or is this gorgeous woman Doctor Evelyn O’Connell? I’ve read about her, she’s famous in my line of work… According to what I’ve read, she was one of the first people to make it out of the City of the Dead alive –”

He doesn’t say what his “line of work” is, but we (and Jonathan) can infer it has something to do with archaeology or Egyptology. And, incidentally, I’m setting up the first alarm bells here because, as Evy points out in the following chapter, at the time her name was “Carnahan”, so how come Tommy didn’t seem to make the connection between Jon’s bookish sister and this English librarian with the same name? The answer is: because he’s nervous (because he’s in Cairo on secret Chamber of Horus business) and as delighted as he is to see Jon again after so many years his brain went “YOU KNOW NOTHING” then backpedalled and went “…OKAY, YOU KNOW SOME THINGS.”

Jonathan’s grin widened as he nodded. “Yes, that’d be her.”

Tommy rambled on as they walked closer to the stairs, “That’s bloody amazing! I thought she’d look, you know, like in the pictures in the paper, the bookish type with glasses – your typical Southern spinster,” he added with a wink. They waited for the curator to bid her goodbye, and Jonathan, greatly enjoying the situation, crept up on his sister to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hey there, old mum – how’s your day been?”

Evy started, then her expression shifted from slightly irked to a smile at her brother’s laugh. She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Jonathan, the things that amuse you…”

SIBS!!! I love writing siblings, and those two in particular. One of the things that I find amusing/endearing is how comfortable they are with each other, physically (and emotionally) speaking. It’s all gentle touch here, light slap there, running hand in hand, lots of things you wouldn’t expect from two Very English siblings from the first half of the 20th century.

“You’re just miffed that I startled you. C’mon, I’d like you to meet someone – an admirer,” he added with a grin to Tommy, who stood there, his eyes wide. “Thomas Ferguson, an old school friend of mine. Tommy – Evelyn Carnahan O’Connell, my famous baby sister.”

There’s a couple of instances where someone introduces Tom as “Thomas”, or Tom introducing himself as such. Most of the time, though, he’s “Tommy” - until chapter 9, where we spend some time in his head for the first time and see he thinks of himself as “Tom”, and when we go back to Jon’s PoV in chapter 11 Jonathan made the mental switch to “Tom”, as well, to separate the boy from his youth from the man he’s become. I actually spell it out in chapter 17: “A lot had happened since that late afternoon in Giza when his friend had pointed a gun at him and stopped being ‘Tommy’. ‘Tommy’ was a warm memory of loud laughter, daring escapes, bright eyes over pints clinking in the comfortable darkness of a well-loved pub. Tom, on the other hand, was a fairly decent man chucked into a complex situation, who had a wife he loved dearly but lied to about his job, who had not wanted to bring harm to an old friend but had done so anyway.”

Evy held out her hand, which Tommy grabbed and shook heartily. “So you’re the old scoundrel’s sister? No wonder he talked about you – though you don’t quite fit the description now…”

“What exactly did you tell your ‘school friends’ about me?” asked Evy, warning in her voice, though the twinkle in her eye did not quite disappear. Nevertheless, Jonathan preferred to ignore her question, earning a hard nudge in the ribs.

He bragged, actually. A lot. Since he thought Tommy and Lizzie would never meet Evy, Jonathan considered himself free to speak quite enthusiastically of his baby sister’s achievements and how bright she was. Of course, he also complained a good deal, because even at 12 Evy had a penchant for being bossy that came out even in letters.

“So, what did you say your ‘line of work’ was?” he asked Tommy.

“Well – don’t laugh. I work at the British Consulate in Cairo, specialising in antique stuff. Oh, I’m sorry, Dr O’Connell,” he stammered with a glance at Evy who had an eyebrow raised, “I mean I’m one of the chief agents in the British Antique Research Department.”

No he’s not! He’s actually a secret agent, kinda :D And not remotely close to a “chief agent”, at that. Tom Ferguson is deeply in love with his wife and nothing will ever change that state of affairs, but he might have a little intellectual crush on Evy, which leads him to… wanting to impress her a little bit.

“I’ve heard of you!” exclaimed Evy. “At least of that Research Department. They’re gradually cutting off public funds – encouraging individual financing – but that won’t do any good for scientific research! Such a stupid decision is only going to –”

“So you lot are the ones she kept fuming about for half a year!” Jonathan snorted. The infamous Ferguson rotten luck struck again.

I still regret I didn’t find more opportunities to showcase how ridiculously unlucky Tommy could get sometimes. Ah well.

Tommy looked dejected. Evy must have seen this, because she bit her lip and said, in softer tones, “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you. But as my brother said, I’ve been… rather upset over this. There’s been some pressure on the British Museum lately by private patrons who threatened to pull out their funding on some… sensitive collections. Without the Crown to back us up, we might have to cave in to their ridiculous demands.”

Before the rewrites, Evy’s speech used to be a lot more “private funding is bad” without much nuance or justification. I changed it to something that hopefully makes sense and justifies her previous outburst. 

“I’ll – I’ll tell my superiors about it,” said Tommy, still looking unsure. “See what I can do. I’m sure it won’t be much, but… Well. I’ll have tried.”

“That’s nice,” Evy said cheerfully, taking Jonathan’s arm and starting to walk. See what I mean about physicality? She doesn’t even ask him with a look, just takes his arm and that’s that. And he lets her, because he’d do the same thing. “Look, the two of you – I’ve had something of a rough day, so I’ll go home, if you don’t mind. You can –”

“Brilliant idea!” said Jonathan, flashing a grin at his sister. “I thought of going to the Sultan’s Casbah, but you might find it a tad – let’s say – dingy, my good friend.”

The Sultan’s Casbah, in the novelisation of the film and my personal headcanon, was the bar Jonathan patronised the night before the first time we see Evy and where he stole a valuable-looking puzzle box from an unsuspecting drunk American. 

“Worse than the Turf?” Seeing Evy’s puzzled look, Tommy explained, “Sorry, private joke. I mean the Turf Tavern, that’s where I saw him for the first time. Me family didn’t ‘ave much money, so I used to work there to pay for my studies. Very nice pub, didn’t deserve the reputation.”

The Best Beloved and I took a trip to Oxford in the spring of 2003 (by bus - 20 hours to get there, same to come back home) and while we were so broke we had to settle for a soup and some rice in a lovely Thai restaurant we did go for a drink at the Turf. I remember a dimly-lit room with dark wood, and I think either they changed a lot of it or my memory isn’t that good because it doesn’t really look like that on the Google Maps pics. Still, I liked it, and when I needed an Oxford pub for the story it’s the one I worked in. Incidentally, there was a lot of illegal gambling going on in there in the 19th century, hence Tommy’s mention of the pub’s bad reputation.

“I’m sure you did indeed see a lot of my brother there,” Evy slipped in slyly. Jonathan threw a mock glare at her.

“To think you are almost my only family. What a shame.” Then, as Tommy looked uncertain, he added, “Carry on, Tom.”

“All right. So I was one of the only students who needed a job, and there were some others who thought that it was – how’d they put it? – a ‘disgrace’ to our university.”

“Preposterous,” said Evy sternly. “As if money could take you further than talent.”

Jonathan bit back on the cynical comment that crossed his mind. Sometimes Evy’s naïveté baffled him.

“Right,” said Tommy uncertainly, glancing at Jonathan. “So, one day, a little bunch of lads come in, and Jon here was sometimes hanging with ‘em at the time –”

Because Jonathan likes to gamble with people with deep pockets :P

Evy glared at Jonathan in advance, and he threw his hands in the air. “Don’t look at me like that! I haven’t done anything!” Evy’s gaze softened, and Jonathan finished, “…Yet.”

That earned him a playful slap on the arm, and a laugh from Tommy, who went on, “Anyway, one of the blokes orders somethin’ or other, and starts to poke fun at me. Well, I was used to it, so I let them be. Then they continued, and I finally noticed that skinny lad in the corner who was makin’ fun of them for making fun of me. Didn’t quite understand what the hell was going on – oh, sorry, Dr O’Connell – what was happening.”

While John Hannah is not “skinny” by any stretch, he is rather svelte, and one of my unimpeachable headcanons for Jonathan is that he was skinny as a rake in his youth - until he went through basic training (then WW1) and his shoulders filled out a little. It’s more or less what happened to the Best Beloved, so I feel quite secure in this headcanon’s plausibility. Plus, picturing 18 year old Jonathan as a mix of awkward gangliness and skinny limbs and aristocratic poise is just funny. (and I find the comparison with Tommy - who at that point was soft and a little chubby but already had broad shoulders - rather endearing.)

Evy smiled. “You’ll have to watch your mouth in front of my son, but otherwise it’s fine. And please, call me Evelyn.”

Tommy beamed. “Right, uh, Evelyn. So, uh –”

“What he didn’t know at that point,” interrupted Jonathan, “was that I had my eye on that fellow – what’s his name – Farbow. He owed me quite a bit of money, but wouldn’t repay me. So I was looking for a way to get him back for it.”

“And get the rest of his wallet in the process, of course.”

“Evy, he owed me seventeen pounds. (Which used to be £70 until I did some research and saw that £17 was A Bloody Fortune a the time.) And he was not what I’d call a ‘decent bloke’ – nasty, disdainful piece of work he was, and his little friends with him. Always a dirty word about the Scouser who worked at the Turf Tavern, just because he didn’t belong to his snobby little world. I did the community a favour, really.”

What he doesn’t say is that Edwin Farbow also had a lot to say about “half-Egyptian mongrels” who thought they belonged in those ancient walls. Too bad I couldn’t find a way to work it in this particular fic. If I ever manage to finish at least Tommy’s part of One-Step, Two-Step, Waltz, the first chapter of Pirouette features the whole scene.

“Don’t push it, Jonathan,” warned Evy.

Tommy carried on. “Well, I was glad there was at least one person who didn’t think like Edwin Farbow – nice change. Then Farbow said something – I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember it made me really angry, really. An’ it’s not a pretty sight when I’m really angry at someone.”

It’s always the quiet, genial ones, isn’t it.

Jonathan remembered, but thought it wise to keep his mouth shut.

Both because what Farbow said was pretty damn offensive to Tommy’s character, background, and lineage, and also because Farbow’s rant included “It’s bad enough they let inpeople like Carnahan, who only exists because a glorifiedgrave-robber shagged some darkey and didn’t even have the decencyto pretend otherwise –” and he really doesn’t want to bring this up in front of Evy, who’s had to deal with her own share of this kind of racist bullshit and doesn’t need a reminder.

“An’ – an’ I just lost it, y’know? I dropped his tea over his ‘ead –”

“I say, that one was pretty funny,” Jonathan said, smiling widely at the memory. The strangled yelp that had followed had definitely been one of the best parts.

“So they all leaped for me, obviously – began to punch me, the five or six of them – hey, I still managed to get back at them!” Tommy added quickly, as if defending his honour. Evy hid a smile, and it occurred to Jonathan that that last sentence had something very Rick-like about it. “But I en’t a fool. I know a losing fight when I’m in one.”

“Don’t tell me. Jonathan bravely threw himself into the fight to take on as many attackers as possible.” There was mischievous laughter in Evy’s voice, and her eyes were twinkling. If anyone other than her had quipped that way about him, Jonathan would probably have taken offence, or at least pretended to. But they knew each other enough not to cross the line.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Well, that wasn’t quite Jon’s style – I don’ know, might’ve changed since then. But yeah, he did. One moment I was squashed under five or six, the next I found out we were two on the floor.”

This was perhaps the biggest suspension of disbelief I’m asking the reader to make - which, in a story where governments have secret agencies to keep an eye on magical ancient artefacts and a diamond has magic powers, is saying something. Jonathan throwing himself into a fight because someone he loves (ie. four people in the whole world that we know of) is in danger? Yep, that checks out, that’s what he does both in TM and TMR. But an (almost) complete stranger? I needed one hell of a justification. Which ended up… 60% Farbow’s money and 40% Farbow being a giant arsehole who had no business making decent bartenders look like that.

Evy began to laugh. “Why, Jonathan? My Jonathan, in a fight, for someone he barely knew?”

At that Jonathan cleared his throat, a mite embarrassed. “I told you, I was looking for Farbow’s wallet. That was the perfect diversion – you should’ve seen that twit looking in every corner for his lost wallet afterwards. It was three months before he gave up.” And it’s lucky you didn’t see me then. I was a bloody mess. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.” Evy smiled. “You never told me that.”

To be fair, there’s a LOT of things he never told you, old girl ;o)

“Should I have?”

“I don’t know, it’s – it was nice of you to do that, even for the wrong reasons. I’m proud of you.”

Jonathan felt an unexpected lump rise in his throat. Not a very big one, but enough to keep him from talking for a few seconds. It was always like this whenever she said something really nice to him. It caught him off guard each and every time.

Look, it took me years to realise it, but I’m a sucker for validation. Sometimes it bleeds out on characters I write.

After a little while, Evy stopped in front of a door and announced, “Well, we’re home.”

“Nice house,” commented Tommy, taking in the sand-coloured neat front and the curtains at the windows.

“Our ‘old haunt’ since the family moved to Egypt,” Jonathan said, opening the door and stepping aside to let his sister in. “Evy wasn’t even walking then.”

In the first film, Evy, Rick, Jonathan and the remainder of the American party go straight to Fort Brydon, and the next thing we see is Evy emptying her suitcase while Rick tries to fill it. Since both Carnahan siblings actually live in Cairo, I thought they would live in an actual house, and from there I extrapolated that the family had one house in England (the manor we see in TMR) and a smaller pied-à-terre in Cairo.

“I do believe I was,” Evy protested.

Jonathan snorted. “Oh, you weren’t. You crawled.”

si b l i n gssss ♥♥ And like, you can always count on a big sib to remind you that you could be ridiculous as a kid. I should know, I’m the big sister :D

Evy seemed to resist the urge to slap her brother and walked into the living room, her nose in the air. She was greeted by two simultaneous voices:

“Mum!”

“Hey, hon.”

Rick’s first words in this story, and it’s greeting his wife ^^ I didn’t do it on purpose, but it’s. Y’know. There.

Jonathan waited a few seconds, then walked into the room in turn, and grinned at the sight of his nephew looking genuinely eager to see him. He was not fooled, however – as soon as Evy wasn’t looking, Alex mouthed the words “Got one?” and frowned as his uncle shook his head. No, he still had no present for Mum’s birthday.

Evy’s birthday mainly originated as a device to get characters (especially Jonathan) moving. It’s the reason he’s roaming the streets of Cairo just before he bumps into Tommy, and why he and Alex go to the bazaar in chapter 5. It also pops up further on in the story, but I’m not saying anything because spoilers.

“Uncle Jon? Who’s that?”

“Who, him?” Jonathan pointed at Tommy behind him, looking uncomfortable at the family reunion, and Alex rolled his eyes. “Tom Ferguson, he was in class with me at Oxford. I ran into him by chance today.”

Tommy stepped past Jonathan and held out his hand to Alex, nearest to him. “Hi – glad to meet you. Jon’s nephew, eh?”

“Yeah,” said Alex, eyeing him with all the suspicion of a ten-year-old who’d seen what he had seen. Behind him, Rick’s eyes spoke loads about his own distrust. But mistrust towards Jonathan and everything related was par for the course on his part, and, admittedly, reasonable.

Alex has Seen Things. This may sound tongue-in-cheek, but it’s true. After what happened in TMR, he’s 100% entitled to being suspicious of strangers. As for Rick, I took my cue from one of his first lines to Jon in TMR being “What did you do this time?” implying that the weird shit happening right now, with the men in red and the sexy lady waving snakes around isn’t exactly unheard of. Hence the “and, admittedly, reasonable”, which I added in the rewrites.

“Thomas Ferguson, British Antique Research Department,” said Tommy, holding out a hand towards Rick, who shook it slowly, still reluctant.

“Rick O’Connell.”

“So you’re Dr O’Connell’s husband? Pleasure to meet you, sir. I’m impressed, you’ve no idea.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Impressed?”

“It seems I’m rather famous in the Research Department,” said Evy, laughing.

“Make that infamous,” quipped Jonathan.

“The Department owes your wife a great deal. She was the one who uncovered a huge amount of our information about some obscure periods of Egyptian history, as well as the major part of serious knowledge we’ve got on Hamunaptra,” Tommy pointed out, and Evy blushed. “She’s a legend – one of the original three who managed to go to Hamunaptra and live to tell the tale! But… I assume you’re another one?”

Oh, Tommy. MATE. You’re saying you know three people made it out of Hamunaptra alive, one of whom a woman with the exact same first and last name as your best friend’s sister who had a passion for ancient history, but you had no idea he was one of them as well? 

Incidentally, the early installment weirdness I mentioned earlier mostly consists in Tommy being a lot more energetic and innocent-looking than he later proves to be (which is a little more grounded and pragmatic than Jon). In fact, he and Jonathan’s first couple of scenes together give the impression that he’s the red and Jon’s the blue in the “Bue oni, red oni” trope, when later chapters show Jon as a little bit more of a disaster while Tom struggles to make better choices and be more sensible. Which in the end would make them shades of purple, really.

“Yeah,” said Rick, looking a bit nonplussed. Jonathan definitely didn’t regret bringing Tommy in. Seeing Rick O’Connell confused was a very rare occurrence, too rare to be missed.

“I never knew – who was the third one?”

Jonathan was now struggling to keep a straight face. Rick blinked, and pointed at his brother-in-law. “That was him.”

“You!?” God, the look on his face was priceless. “You were at Hamunaptra?”

“Yes,” risked Jonathan, laughter rising in his voice. “And believe me, it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Oh, by the way, there were four of us, not three.”

Meaning Ardeth, of course. My take is that Tommy - and by extension the Chamber of Horus - know about as much about the Medjai as Evy knew about the Book of Amun-Ra prior to the events of TM: a non-negligible amount of information, but all of it second-hand and some of it a bit dicey.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Rick roll his eyes and grinned, undaunted. This was proving to be a fun evening.

Make the most of it, people, because it’s all going to go downhill fast…

Thank you ♥♥♥

[natsumiheart]

Mixed emotions Chapter two: Day one is out!

Here’s your smol preview:

and here’s the link! have fun~

Read the things under the cut after you’ve finished the chapter!

> “Lovable fraud” is an inside joke between me and my friends XD it somehow made it into the fic.

> Quick note about how characters refer to each other in this fic, Shuichi refers to everyone like in the game (Last name-san and Last name-kun) but his close friends (Kaede and Kaito) by their first names with the same honorifics (Kaede-san and Kaito-kun). When speaking in english though, the honorifics are not used (which is why he says “Thank you Toujou” instead of “Toujou-san”) Everyone else refers to each other just like in the game, it just depends if they use first names or nah. Say Kaito, he refers to everyone by their last names without honorifics so when he uses Kaede's first name he just says Kaede. Meanwhile Kaede refers to him as Kaito-kun just like Shuichi cause she also used honorifics in the game. (I'm so bad at explaining omg). I'm really sorry btw with how they are speaking english and Japanese but I can't make it anymore obvious that they are other than “he said in english” XDD it's hard when it's literally the language you're writing this fic in, but they are almost always speaking in Japanese in this fic unless stated otherwise! 

> I love the headcanon that Kokichi and Shuichi are different yet very similar. which made the learning about each other scene much funnier due to Kokichi making fun of Shuichi's answer yet having a similar answer as well (White is also not considered a colour, and Autumn is when the weather gets cold LOL but the main reason he likes Autumn is cause of Halloween, while Shuichi looked forward to Winter cause of snow with his best friends, you can imagine the crazy shit Kaito did back then)

> That convo in the beginning is important wink wonk. and this was the original chapter end notes:

[ohayohimawari]

Kakashi Asks-Answer

Q: (From @thetoxicstrawberry) What are your thoughts on Sukea? Do you think this disguise existed prior to him messing with Team 7?

A: I know that you and I have congratulated each other on having the same brain before Berry, and this is another of those priceless occasions, haha! I’ve been hoping that someone would ask me about Sukea so that I could have an excuse opportunity to geek all over my favorite ninja dork’s alter ego. Thank you for reading my thoughts (your thoughts? Our thoughts?)!

*Cracks knuckles* My study of the development of Kakashi’s photogenic photographer not-so-secret identity starts below the cut.

It’s a beautiful coincidence that I answer this question so close to my first anniversary as an outed writer in the Naruto fanfiction community. I wrote my headcanon of the origin of Sukea in my very first (and very naughty) fic! Seriously, I can forgive Kishi for almost everything simply because he removed the mask from my favorite character and put a camera in his hands (for those that don’t know, I’m a photographer).

In my story Supplemental Training, I portray Kakashi just as I imagine him when he’s nearing the end of his ANBU career. While he claims to be a man of many hobbies, he is first and foremost a ninja. He goes to sleep and wakes up a shinobi. His ability to form plans and strategies makes him both a powerful ally and a formidable enemy, but beyond the scope of missions, I don’t believe him to be an especially imaginative person. At the very least, I mean to say that he doesn’t put much stock in his own latent creative ability, and that prevents him from attempting such. Further, at that stage in his life and career, Kakashi is wound tighter than a two-dollar watch.

In my fic, he is reluctantly thrust into a situation that he is suspicious of, and is determined to control. He plays along with another character when she asks what he would like to call her, and Kakashi dubs her with a name that is obvious and unimaginative. She, in turn, christens him with a name that is equally obvious and unimaginative: Sukea.

(Side note: sukea is the Japanese pronunciation of the English word scare. Kakashi means scarecrow in Japanese, so, his alter ego’s name is a play on his own.)

In the story, Kakashi accepts the offered moniker, and it’s not long before he realizes that he stands to gain new skills if he manages to successfully navigate his situation. I’d written that my quick-thinking bean likens this experience to being an actor that is assuming a role. In scrambling for a costume, he tugs his mask down; effectively removing the face that most have come to recognize as his. Then, he’s nervous af.

This leads to the pivotal moment of my story, and in the creation of Sukea. Konoha’s prodigy, for all of his brilliance, doesn’t shine in the social interactions arena. Kakashi, bless his heart, wants so badly to be in control of the situation. However, it’s only when he lets himself go in favor of becoming Sukea, that he finally does gain control of it.

Near the end of my story, I write that Kakashi considers, “… what he had gained, who he had escaped, what he had beaten back, and who he became.” It’s from this moment on that I believe Sukea is an important part of this character’s life.

This transition doesn’t have to play out the way I’d written it in that fic, but I think Kakashi would have to be pushed into stepping outside of himself. We don’t see him assuming different identities in his career. He’s not a role-playing kind of dude in his downtime. He lives in a mask and wears an additional one when he clocks in for his shifts. He insulates himself during missions and isolates himself between them. I sometimes wonder if, by this stage in his life, he’d hidden his identity so well that Kakashi had lost sight of himself.

So, the experience of being Sukea-however it comes about and for whatever reason-would be something between refreshing and liberating for the Copy Nin.

Now I’m going to pull a Kishi tactic and employ a time jump with minimal backstory. A couple of years go by in which bad things happen to the Uchiha clan, Konoha adopts yet another orphan, and Kakashi is released from ANBU.

I imagine that this is one of the most difficult stages of Kakashi’s life. Nothing could be more unsettling for this dork than idleness after the familiar, strict, comfortable routine of the decade he spent in ANBU. I honestly think Kakashi wouldn’t know what to do with himself in the years between Black Ops and Team Seven. As a result, he begins to have a greater appreciation of Gai and his challenges. Also, this is when Kakashi would flesh out his secret identity as Sukea.

Because escapism.

Kakashi can’t stand himself in the years between Team Minato and Team Seven, and after he’s out of ANBU, he’s got too much time on his hands to ruminate on it.

There’s no way in hell that he would just wake up one day and decide to skip along the streets of Konoha without his mask on though. Kakashi would approach this consciously and meticulously. It helps to occupy the extra time. It postpones the moment between deciding to go out as Sukea and actually doing it. He would need time to prepare for this, mentally and physically.

There’s more to my headcanon than loathing himself though. The Third Hokage decided that this traumatized soldier was grade A teacher material, and Kakashi takes his orders seriously. While I don’t think he would view his eccentric nature as odd, I think he would be aware that he is socially awkward (at least, he would be aware that he feels awkward in social situations). I think he would strive to improve at this, if only for the sake of being a sensei.

This is why Sukea is a photographer.

Being a photographer is similar to being a fly on the wall. In order to capture candid moments or gather pictorial evidence, a photographer needs to melt into the background. Kakashi, being a ninja, would know how to succeed at that. He’d come to terms with the fact that the mask that hides his face makes him stand out. He’d know to cover his luscious, outrageous silver cowlicks, his famous scar and borrowed eye.

I can almost hear a couple of you piping up in the back asking, “But Hima, he’s a ninja! He can just don a henge!” The answer to that is no, unfortunately. As long as that sharingan is in Kakashi’s eye socket, that shit never shuts off. Even though he’s wearing a contact lens, as long as both of his eyes are open, it’s a constant drain on this poor knucklehead’s chakra reserve. Also? I think he doesn’t want to.

Choosing photography as Sukea’s schtick was brilliant. Photographers are expected to focus on their subjects, affording Kakashi plenty of time and opportunity to study others. He would definitely learn a great deal about people this way. Relationships and their dynamics are captured by his lens. He gains some new social skills by watching and catches up on the lives of the folks of the Hidden Leaf at the same time. One of his many hobbies is born. The best photographers are careful in their observations, quick in their actions, and Kakashi is already carrying those tools around in his fanny pack.

Unrelated, but, only Kakashi could make a fanny pack look asjkfsd hot. Another trivial detail, but you know how I love those: I’m thinking of one of Berry’s delightful headcanons about his mask and drawing from it now in my imagination. I wonder if Sukea carries Kakashi’s mask in his coat pocket the first few times he goes out in public.

Whether he does or not, after a few field trips around Konoha, I think Kakashi would genuinely enjoy stepping out as Sukea. He would have to if he’s still doing it during his sensei days, and again in the next-gen era.

He delights in trolling Team Seven, that’s for sure. Sukea is his own private joke, and who among us tires of laughing at our own jokes? Kakashi’s no different, and that’s why we catch him smirking at his reflection when we finally got to see the goods in that special manga chapter and anime episode. It felt so good to have my anime crush validated, btw.

Every time Kakashi drifts undetected around the Leaf Village, there is one other jōnin that Sukea’s camera avoids. As much as he enjoys his joke, he wouldn’t push his luck when it comes to the possibility of Maito Gai recognizing him. I think it speaks volumes about their friendship when we see Sukea sweating it out as Gai’s eyebrows invade his personal space and he stares the other man down. I’m convinced that this is how Kakashi learns his eternal rival is hopelessly face blind, but that’s a headcanon for another day.

Sukea is still stalking the inhabitants of the Hidden Leaf when Boruto’s generation of ninja are preparing to graduate. However, we see Kakashi tugging his mask back up and pulling the wig off, transitioning in front of Iruka. In so doing, he proves how much he’s grown throughout his life. I imagine that being Sukea had a lot to do with that.

This alter ego of Kakashi’s-like so much about him-is enigmatic. It seems to me that he’s revealing himself rather than hiding himself; giving others a chance to get to know him underneath the underneath. The person aside from the elite ninja that he is.

I said earlier that I wondered if Kakashi had hidden his identity so well, that he had lost sight of himself. I like to think that in being Sukea, Kakashi reconnected with himself.

XOXO

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #159

Another day, another chapter of Watamote to fill that hole in your heart.

The suspension arc continues on, and in what seems to be a reflection of characters’ emotions, it’s a slower chapter that on the surface, doesn’t offer much in terms of “progression”. Thankfully, my overly analytical mind is here to pick up all the delightful subtleties of our cast, and pick apart the unexpected, but welcome direction this series has set itself up to move towards. All aboard the Tomoko Train! 

Chapter 159: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Still Be Suspended

Yeah, that figures. Suspension becomes a lot less stressful when you realize you’re too bored to be stressed. 

Not much else to say other than the lighting in this shot is absolutely gorgeous, ya’ll.

Sorry...I was distracted by Yoshida wearing a tie. By all accounts, it should not look as good on her as it does. Too bad we only get it for like 1 1/2 panels, but I’ll take what I can get.

♪ Wooooah, we’re halfway there! 

WOAH! Livin’ on a prayer! ♫

Just some more scenery porn courtesy of Niko. Her work has really come a long way.

I sure do love these unexpected pairings that get thrown our way from time to time. They may not be the matchups we wanted, but they’re sure as hell the ones we’ll undoubtedly love.

Tomoko at it again with the sick comebacks.

It may just be out of respect to her friend Komiyama, but I’d like to think that Itou secretly(?) would like to see Komi and Tomoko become closer. A true (friend)shipper on deck.

Ah, Itou. If nothing else, your friendship with Komiyama is the real deal if you can admit to all her lunacy.

I can’t help but love how Komiyama’s whole identity is 80% related to her glasses. No surprise since its a given fact that all meganekko girls are either super pure, or super perverted, and Komi has the distinct honor of being both.  

Good luck, Itou! Just play the Lottes theme song and you're guaranteed to bring at least one person to tears.

I wasn’t sure if Tomoko fully cleared up the whole “Tomoki is my brother” thing in the groping chapter, but the implication here is that Yoshida still doesn’t know. This is building up to what will surely be a hilarious revelation.

Guess we don’t have to worry about adding Itou into the Tomokibowl, huh? That would’ve been such a trainwreck. Makes you wonder who’s Itou’s type though...

As in, “Are you doing well?” or “Well, how are you?”. C’mon, Yuri, you gotta dial down the tsundere-ness and give your favorite idiot a little more context than that. 

Damn, Nemo was right on the money, wasn’t she? Even over LINE, she’s not afraid to play dirty.

Btw, I love how Tomoko’s expression doesn’t change at all while looking through the messages. Like her face is frozen from processing so many slaps in the face at once. 

I think this is the first Tomoko has been genuinely unnerved by Katou’s (s)mothering. Getting spoiled is a hot fantasy the first couple times, Tomoko. But once it starts bleeding into your everyday life, that’s when it starts getting a little creepy.

Let’s be honest. We all know who this is, right? 

Side note: How did she get Tomoko’s LINE number?

I wanna say it’s another Mako case where Okada sent her a message because of Nemo’s influence. Poor girl is falling down the rabbit hole.

Oooooh, Katou’s getting special treatment. In her defense, I don’t think it’s necessarily that Tomoko likes her best or anything. For one, Katou the only one whose message was fairly normal. But also, it’s easy to send a quick reply to someone you’re not as close with. Logically speaking, Tomoko would likely prefer to send more detailed responses to Yuri and Nemo because she’s closer to them. And she’ll probably ignore Ucchi entirely. 

Of course, logic has no place between girls fighting for dominance.

The first time we get to see Katou’s inner thoughts and...it’s nothing special.

I wasn’t expecting to see a monologue of deep-rooted insecurities or anything. That’s not this series’ thing. If anything, that mundaneness works to Katou’s advantage because it shows that while she may be incredibly attractive on the outside, she’s just a regular person with simple concerns on the inside. If they’re really going to take Katou’s affection on Tomoko into romantic territory, it’s a good place to start.

The Cuck Sisters have graduated into the Ghosted Sisters.

I’m sure Katou isn’t trying to arrogant about being the only one to get a reply. I mean, anyone would have a bit of an ego boost from that. 

But I’m sorry, Katou. There’s just one small thing you have to realize...

...finding out that your girl was out seeing other people is the initiation for entering the Tomoko harem.

Poor Itou. Girl was just minding her own business and now she finds herself in the middle of the moshpit. 

On that note, I absolutely love the composition of this panel. Even though the line of sight is directed at Itou, Katou’s stance draws in your full attention. Even more amazing is how having these six specific people in the frame adds to the overall intensity. We having Tomoko’s old friends, new friends, and acquaintances all together for the same discussion, and it really emphasizes just how much Tomoko’s influence has affected the whole classroom dynamic.

Small tidbit, but I appreciate that Yuri asked about Yoshida, too. Those two haven’t had many scenes alone together lately since the pachinko parlor moment, and it would sure be nice to more of their relationship outside of Tomoko. 

Ucchi’s teleportation powers always gets a good laugh out of me. I also like how the very first thing she asks is if Tomoko’s creepy, like she needs that confirmation to validate even being there. Girl needs to start coming up with better excuses.

Having Ucchi and Futaki in the same panel always feels so unreal to me. I feel like if the two of them starting talking to each other, the universe would implode upon itself. 

Ucchi:

I like the direction they took this. It would have been very easy for Komiyama to pretend she doesn’t care a la tsunderism. But nope. Komiyama only has a mild interest in how Tomoko’s doing, letting Yuu act as a proxy for them. Even if Tomoko and Komiyama don’t care much about each other, their history belies this odd level of intimacy.

Alright, alright, you got me Nico Tanigawa.

...Poor Minami. 

I think its a merit to the mangaka’s storytelling skills that we can easily infer that Mako’s talking about Yoshida. Between Mako being who she is, Yoshida being who she is, and their growing friendship gaining attention, who else could it be?

That’s...kind of sad, honestly. We’ve seen several times just how clingy Minami is to her (one-sided) friendships, but never have we seen her sound so dependent on others. It’s been hinted at before, but being a bitch is the one thing Minami’s good at, and she might actually know that. She may act stuck-up on the outside, but the fact that’s she’s so upfront about it may actually mask a bit of an inferiority complex.  

Curse you, Nico Tanigawa, for making Minami a three-dimensional character with legitimate wants and fears.

I’m glad Mako isn’t mentioning her by name. She knows Minami enough that outting her friend will lead to harm.

On Minami.

Tomoko’s triangle mouth is unironically cute. There, I said it.

Character development for Yoshida, whaaaaaat?

Let’s face it. The trio of Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida are all slackers in some way, shape, or form. It makes sense that Yoshida would be the last of them to put any real effort into her future. Since she isn’t the type to make personal changes just because someone told her to, the reasonable way to make Yoshida understand is through observance. As thick-headed as she is, Miss Yoshida is not about to be left in the lurch while her buddies move on without her.

Between this and my recent watching of Aggretsuko S2 (shameless plug!), it’s become apparent to me that getting a driver’s license isn’t as “mandatory” there as it is in my country. I’d imagine it has to do with the work environment there being so focused on public transit, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Tomoko actually makes a solid point there, though I get the feeling she’s imagining Yoshida driving getaway cars for the yakuza or something. 

Or, you know, her chauffeur. 

Ignoring the somewhat obvious advertisement for a vehicle that I’m sure was blacked out in the original version, this is totally setting itself up for the next arc of Watamote. As summer vacation gets closer and closer, I was wondering just how Tomoko was going to spend it. She obviously can’t stay at home the whole time like she did in the past, so I was thinking she’d end up doing things with her friends like working part-time jobs, going to a festival, or in this case, a road trip.

Bring on the Road Trip Arc!

Oh, I get it. Tomoko did the whole “min-na” thing that slice-of-life moe anime girls do when talking about their friends, right? 

Traitor.

I’m joking, of course, but only partially. It’s clear to us all that Tomoko feels like she’s betraying a part of herself for saying something so bubbly. It was a direction I had anticipated to some degree when Tomoko began making self-deprecating jokes about becoming a normie. It was always in that “haha, like that could ever happen” tone, but it was only a matter of time before Tomoko started to become the mask. It’s scary to think you might subconsciously be changing a core part of yourself, and that realization is something Tomoko will eventually have to come to terms with.

At least we get her most adorable, genuine blush ever thanks to this.

Damn, expulsion for driving a vehicle? What’s with this school and it’s beef with having your own set of wheels?

Ah, saving up for a car. The first glimpse into Tomoko’s (and everyone else’s) efforts at adulting. 

To get the obvious out of the way, no I don’t think Mako and Yoshida are naked in this panel. While Nico Tanigawa have shown that they’re not above very mild levels of fanservice, I don’t think they’d resort to something this teasing.

Probably. 

Anyways, there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with Yoshida’s decision. Taking things slow is very much in line with her character. Sure, it’s kind of inconsiderate of Yoshida to flippantly go the other way after asking for help, and Mako’s frustration is understandable. But more importantly, it highlights Mako influence on Yoshida, and the Kyoto Group in general.

When it’s just Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida, they have a unique bond where they don’t really try to push each other out of their comfort zones. Yoshida especially, for being so damn stubborn. But when you add Mako into the mix, a.k.a. the “Mom Friend”, suddenly the level of morale and effort within the group rises. And as the most “normal” friend, Mako’s existence helps to keep their friendship from growing stagnant.

As the Suspension Arc continues, the lack of “action” gives the cast some room for a little introspection. The gags themselves may have been on the limited side, but a lot of these set-up chapters usually are. The future is near, folks, and there are no signs of slowing down, for the characters or the series itself. Changes are over the horizon, but for now, the journey continues.

[coffin-of-eternal-darkness]

Thank you for over 3000 followers

I reached 3000 followers a while ago and even though I didn’t do anything for my other milestones, I thought I should make a post about this one (though I couldn’t think of anything special). After all, 3000 is most likely the highest I will get and it really is an amazing number, considering I’m not doing anything special XD Kinda fitting too. In NnT everything started 3000 years ago, and for my blog everything started 3000 followers ago XD I’m not sure how many people from the old days even follow me anymore, but, thank you all. It’s been some amazing years!

As for what I’ll do… Well, my friend @maybeishouldwait helped me with some question prompts, so it’ll sort of be like an interview? I hope at least some of you are interested. So, let’s start!

1. Let's start with an easy one: how did you discover NNT, and what drew you to it?

I’ve recently answered an ask with a similar question but here we go! It was a complete coincidence. I wasn’t necessarily searching for something. I randomly browsed a manga reading site, probably looking foe updates and the title somehow caught my attention so I clicked on it. I didn’t take it seriously at first, the first chapter really didn’t impress me at all, and I only continued because I thought it was funny. It’s no secret I fell in love with the series but it still baffled me how fast it went from “Lol, this is funny and stupid” to “BEIRHJ I LOVE THIS SO MUCH” in a matter of a only few chapters XD Everything was such a new experience to me. The characters weren’t the usual stereotypes, they were actually deep and interesting. The story took a while to become interesting, at first it was more about just… gathering these super powerful knights and it was so cool to see what kind of crazy character the next one would be. I also loved how I could never see anything coming. Even now that we know what kind of series this is, there are still plottwists like Hawk’s eyes being the portal to purgatory or Cath’s whole appearance that just… could not be predicted and I really love that surprise effect when something unbelievable happens. So I love the characters and the surprises but I also love the story, or rather how it’s told. For the first… 70 or so chapters to me it felt like with every chapter it just got even BETTER than before. I still had a few of those moments in the Commandment saga, just, scenes that blew me away and made me think “Wow, I wonder how much better this series can get”. I think it also was around chapter 70 that I created my blog. And more than anything I think I love the tragedies. It’s hearbreaking but heartwarming at the same time somehow. Not many of you probably know this but my first NnT OTP was actually Banlaine and I cried so much when I read their backstory. I loved how deeply in love they were to the point of sacrificing themselves for the other. Both had to deal with a large chunk of loneliness in their lives and for both of them the other was their salvation. Every time Ban was saying anything about Elaine in the main series I was both crying and cheering for him. By now everything is a tragedy and while I wish there were a few more lighthearted scenes for… personal salvation… I like that and crying about all those characters and CARING for their happiness really helped me get into this series I think.

2. How has your blog changed since it started?

Well, apart from the fact that is has grown popular… I actually think I’ve burned out a but. I write a lot less text posts than before. I had an awful amount of (stupid) theories back in the old days and also an awful amount of free time somehow. Now I feel like I don’t think about theories that often anymore, let alone post them. Part of that is that I’m busy with work and other hobbies, but partly that’s because the series has gotten so long and it’s becoming harder and harder to remember details, especially from the newer chapters. I really want to reread the series but I never get around to do that anymore. I also think that back in the days I more or less posted just anything I found or thought was cool, while nowadays I’m always wondering what I could do. I still try to keep it up but it’s becoming harder and harder. Oh, there’s also a lot more follower interaction too!

3. What are some of your favorite blogs or sites for NNT stuff?

As for sites, I usually only check the official ones, like the official HP or the official Twitter account. As for blogs… I don’t really follow a lot of people since I look through the tag almost on a daily basis anyway. Of course there’s @spoilerkingjuliane, she’s a must follow XD I can also highly recommend @maybeishouldwait since she’s an awesome writer. I always enjoy @nostalgicbookworms gifs a lot and @sdsmangacaps is my go-to account for manga caps. There are a lot more blogs that I really like, there are tons of really good artists on Tumblr and Twitter but since I’m not actually following a lot of them and I fear I’ll forget a few I’d rather not mention them directly and hope they know I appreciate them. The most obvious Twitter account is yuka_sai0127 btw, but there are a lot of others.

4. What advice would you give to someone wanting to make their blog as successful as yours?

Tbh I have no idea how I even got so popular in the first place XD I started on a whim and thought I’d lose motivation immediately and nobody would follow me anyway. But before I knew it I had almost 100 followers in a matter of a few days. Maybe it was my obsession? I also quickly befriended the other popular NnT blogs, that probably helped too. I think it depends on what kind of blog you have, but I think the most important thing is frequent updates and high quality. I also think blogs should have a good balance between your own content and reblogs. There are blogs that live only through reblogs and that’s fine but I think it’s harder to be “interesting” when you don’t have your own content. Try to find something only you can do and do it. @spoilerkingjuliane for example is good at finding info and she is immensely popular because of that. I will forever be slightly jealous of her because I will never reach that level XD”

5. What's the best part of running your blog? What's something you wish was different?

The best part without a doubt is how much it involves me into the fandom. I’m more or less forced to see all kinds of fandom posts and while that’s sometimes stressing me out, I also see a lot of amazing content and being able to share those posts with so many people makes me really happy. Running this blog also helped me boost my own confidence. As I mentioned earlier at the beginning I thought nobody would be interested in my blog anyway and I’d give up right away. But I gained followers quickly and it showed me that yes, I might not be as boring as always I think I am. It showed me that I can do things if I just try. On the downside though, running a popular blog puts a lot of pressure on you, and I constantly feel like I have to do something, have to go through the tag, have to make SOME content somehow. And even when you’re stressed you can’t just take it out on people after all so the stress piles up. That’s probably my own responsibility and not the blog itself that is doing that, but I still wish I could take it more easy.

6. How did you learn Japanese? Did you find it difficult?

Well, it wasn’t easy at least. I started learning Japanese twice, once I gave up quickly because the book I used was a horrible starter and after that I learned the basic grammar and a few words through a magazine crash course. Learning specific words was easier than to learn all hiragana and katakana on their own and since I also knew the basic grammar it made it easier to learn and understand whole sentences. Still, I’m an extremely lazy human being and even though I’ve been learning Japanese for almost half of my life now I very rarely actively studied. Most of the time I would try (and fail) to read manga in Japanese and pick up new words and grammar here and there. But through switching between actually learning and trying to read manga I got better. Once I was at a certain level I bothered a ton of random japanese people too in order to befriend and speak japanese with them, which also helped. I think the most major step in my learning career was getting obsessed with Tales of Vesperia a few years ago tho. I was at a comparatively high Japanese level back then already but playing a game of THAT length completely in japanese was a challenge. I learned a stupid amount of new words and grammar and ways of talking through that game and it probably helped that it was just an amazing game that remains to be my favorite. I’ve also translated a few manga chapters back then that really got me practicing and I also worked at an Udon restaurant with (except for me) 100% japanese staff. And as is the case with all languages… Talking with real people is always the best practice. Then of course my year working in japan gave me the final boost. I still have a ton to learn and I’m nowhere near really GOOD but I like to think my japanese is pretty decent at least.

7. What do you see for the future of your blog?

It won’t be all too long anymore til the manga ends and when that happens there won’t be any theories or reviews to write anymore… There will still be an S3 and possible an S4 and maybe more anime projects. But it will be harder to update the blog with original content. Eventually it will most likely turn into a reblog only blog. But I hope I will have some more time and motivation to actually reread the manga, complete my NnT encyclopedia and update the blog with interesting stuff I find in between. I really want to keep this blog up for a few more years!

No matter how it will turn out though, I’m happy I came so far. I made a whole bunch of good friends during this time and had a lot of fun. To my friends and followers (silent or not): Thank you so much for your support!