#it's very me very much my comfort zone but...sometimes that's nice

[johndonneswife]

Ms. Venus pleasssse share your impeccable taste in the form of pinterest boards with the class, thank you. Also I miss your presence on Tumblr and I selfishly wish you had plans to come back to the fandom side of things but I’m wishing you the best from afar!!

i would totally share my beautiful boards with u if not for the fact that i had a full blown meltdown on pinterest abt yuri on ice and i have soooo many freaking yoi pins lmao and iiiit’s a lil mortifying actually. but i promise my wedding & fashion moodboards are 🤌🏻

[eupheme]

JOEL MILLER - 2023 FIC RECS

this year has been filled with so many beautiful fics, I wanted to make a rec list to share & support everything I read. please check these out and support these creators, they are all incredible! 💖✨

— A Lover's Pinch by @hier--soir

a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves?

— A Matter of Timing by @lavenderursa

Before the world went to shit you and your neighbor, Joel, were involved. It was complicated then and now at the end of the world, it's much the same.

— A Minute From Home by @agentmarcuspike

— A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing by @jupiter-soups

joel miller is not quite as scary as the people of jackson believe him to be. at least, not around you.

— A Very Furby Christmas by @/proxima-writes

it’s christmas eve 1998 and joel miller thinks everything is perfect. / well, until his brother admits he didn’t get sarah the one present she wanted - the furby. now, joel has to go out on christmas eve to find the year’s hottest toy that’s been sold out for months / turns out, you’re on the same mission. and you’ve both found the last furby in town.

— Asking Nicely by @grippingbeskar

— Autumn Air by @swiftispunk

it’s been a month since you returned home from costa rica and you and joel have fallen into a blissful routine. when a rude awakening threatens to disrupt that peace, together you must make a decision…or two.

— Barbie Girl by @tightjeansjavi

Joel, Sarah and Tommy go to the Barbie movie opening weekend

— Be Good, Be Quiet by @/undercoverpena

bill tells you both you're sleeping in separate rooms when a thunderstorm doesn't allow you to leave. but joel isn't planning on getting any sleep.

— Blue Jeans N'Texas Dreams by @/tightjeansjavi

Joel Miller, single father; total soft dad has an astronomically enormous crush on you, his daughters horseback riding instructor.

— Boston Holiday. by @/amywritesthings

You’re decorating for the holidays in your Boston Quarantine Zone apartment. A begrudging Joel Miller gets involved.

— Bunny Tails by @sweetercalypso

When hunter!Joel finds reader picking flowers outside his cabin, he convinces her to come inside

— But He Does Have You by @undercoverpena

because he hasn’t got a lot of anything, but he does have you.

—Butterfly by @stargirlfics

Sometimes the path to healing starts with a reminder of what’s been lost

— Can’t Help Myself by @fettuccin-e

— Catching by @softlyspector

None of your partners had ever been able to make you come before. Joel changed that.

— Comfortably Close by @omgreally

You and Joel share a couch.

— Come Clean by @cupofjoel

joel comes home after a messy day on patrol, but you’re already in the shower

— Comfort Came Against My Will by @/undercoverpena

it’ll begin with a little beg, a whispered plea—fingers wrapping around his chin, mouth ghosting over his: Let me ride you, Miller.

— Creature Comforts by @galactic-basic

A gift. Joel didn’t call it that. Didn’t say as much. Didn’t say anything—actually. / But it’s yours. Your mattress. Your bed. There are so few things you can call yours these days.

— Crystal by @ezrasbirdie

Joel's live-in girlfriend is a little witchy. It takes some getting used to.

— Dinner & Diatribes by @tightjeansjavi

you’re the kind of love that Joel Miller has been dreaming of all his life

— Dinner Date by @juletheghoul

 neighbour!Joel au

— Distracted by @/psychedelic-ink

there are many advantages to enrolling in a woodshop class: drawing you away from not-so-happy thoughts, relearning something that you enjoyed doing when you were a kid, and, well, the sight of watching mr. miller do something he’s undeniably good at.

— Does Your Mother Know? by @/cupofjoel

— Flesh and Metal by @/swiftispunk

you meet joel at a bar. he really likes your nipple piercings. that’s about it.

— From Eden, Love Grows by @moonlight-prose

Days spent in flower fields and cooking in a sunbathed kitchen with him.

— Grays by @/softlyspector

Joel likes to be read to and held and have his hair stroked. He would never dare admit it, though.

— Go Slow by @/frannyzooey

In the quiet of your bedroom, Joel guides you through it. 

— Honeyed by @/softlyspector

You hate being touched, but you might be willing to put aside your discomfort for a tattoo from Joel.

— Honeymoon by @bits-and-babs

— Hurt by @/moonlight-prose

alone and trying to survive, you find your path crossing with a man who’s headed to boston of all places. he claims he’s looking for a new start, not realizing you might be it.

— I Crawl Home To Her by @/agentmarcuspike

after being stabbed, joel floats in and out of consciousness, between then and now, before and after, and his two daughters, both saving him in their own ways.

— I Know My Faults, But I Can't Hide Them… by @tarrenterror25

It’s all about surviving now. Joel knows it and so do you.

— I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by @/thetriumphantpanda

Your daughter catches you kissing santa… or does she?

— Juniper by @/softlyspector

You're sleepy. Joel knows a good way to put you to sleep.

— Ktober 2023 Day 24- Lingerie by @flightlessangelwings

— Keep It On The Low by @/cupofjoel

just because you and joel broke up doesn’t mean you can’t still (secretly) enjoy each other’s company

— Let Me Take Care Of You by @spaceydragons

Joel had a rough day, you take care of him

— Living in a State of Dreaming by @/cupofjoel

it’s been a year since you, joel, and ellie returned to jackson, and you’re finally starting to feel a sense of security. but when the sun goes down and joel closes his eyes, the horrors beyond the walls still hunt him, out to take back the family he’s worked so hard to protect.

— Made By Hand by @tinycozycomfort

He has nothing to offer, after all; no love letter, no borrowed jacket, no wedding ring. This is all he has to show his devotion, to seal his promise—a fist full of glossy blue and the willingness to unfurl his body and scoop out his insides just to allow you a place to lay. All he can give you is himself.

— Met The Devil Last Night by @pedgito

made a joke about wanting to screw dirt-covered Joel even if he was deep in the trenches of hell and…well, yeah.

— Middle of the Night by @/frannyzooey

He comes to you for comfort.

— Midnights by @/omgreally

Joel pulls back, and the blown-pupil intensity in his eyes makes you clench. “That a challenge?” he wonders, fingering the waistband of your jeans. / “You got any better ideas on how to ring in the new year, Joel Miller?”

— Mine by @the-scandalorian

He wants it—has wanted it.  / He wants the claim. The utter possession.

— Misbehavior by @/stargirlfics

 It’s the first and last time you ever talk back to his face

— Moments by @charnelhouse

Joel and you in a hotel phone booth.

— More and More by @/moonlight-prose

“he wanted to know every part of you, everything you kept hidden for fear of it being rejected. and you let him.”

— Moss & Mushrooms by @/softlyspector

You are alone, always. Then, one day, a beast emerges from the forest you've never dared to go into.

— My Girl Now by @/psychedelic-ink

joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend’s kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you’re the opposite. when he learns how you’ve been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.

— Old Partners, New Plans by @grippingbeskar

— One Bed by @frannyzooey

“there is only one bed” + joel miller

— Only Need Ten by @pascalpvnk

“Joel,” your whine muffled by your pillow. “I have to leave in fifteen minutes, I can’t be late for patrol again. We have to be back in time for Sunday brunch.” / “Only need ten, baby,” he drawled in a hushed tone, hooking his thick fingers beneath the waistband of your panties. “Please?”

— Picture by @/softlyspector

You really want to take Joel's picture. He can't really figure out why.

— Pieces of You by @pedros-mustache

Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe it’s possessive and a tad bit jealous. Maybe after years working alongside Tess, you’ve simply learned to lay your claim on what is yours. 

— Press the Gas and Ride by @charnelhouse

comfort in a car

— Roadside Delight by @/inklore

joel should have known you’d be trouble when he found you on the side of the highway. he should have known you’d taste so fucking sweet too.

— See You by @hopeamarsu

— Seeing You, Seeing Me by @amywritesthings

After handling a life-or-death favor for Tess, you're in deep shit. Until she can make things right, she suggests you lay low at her place for the week. The issue? It's also Joel Miller's place, and you're pretty sure he hates you.

— Silence by @/frannyzooey

 Joel makes a silent promise.

— So, My Darlin' by @/psychedelic-ink

you convince joel to have a bubble bath with you.

— Sober by @/sweetercalypso

When Joel needs a break from reality, he finds the perfect distraction in a QZ dive bar

— Something Bad by @/fettuccin-e

— Something Wild and Unruly by @/ezrasbrdie

At Madame Aurelie's Secret Garden, men pay for beautiful courtesans trained in pleasure to give them whatever they want. And all Joel Miller, infamous outlaw and gunslinger, ever seems to want from you is a warm bath and quiet conversation.

— Standing in the Eye of the Storm by @/stargirlfics

You find each other at the end of the world

— Stay In Bed by @/psychedelic-ink

After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

— Sweet Thing by @mandoisapunk

 the most unlikely pair in jackson just can’t get enough of each other.

— Sweet Words of Sin by @/moonlight-prose

“there was a certain high that came from this. having a man like joel miller relenting to your every word, all to hear those sweet words fall from your lips. as delicious as a glass of wine and just as sinful.”

— Sweetned Breath and Tongue So Mean by @/moonlight-prose

“joel couldn’t fathom what you saw in him. a man bloodied with the ravages of life. he’d taken life, killed to survive, and there were times he even fucking enjoyed it. but you were soft. you were the good that remained. the light he shouldn’t be allowed to tarnish.”

— Take Care of You by @theidiotwhowritesthings

You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

— Take Your Medicine by @/hier--soir

your medication makes it difficult to orgasm so joel (and your vibrator) help make it happen.

— Tarnished But So Grand by @morning-star-joy

tommy and maria lead a jovial existence in the countryside, but the appearance of tommy’s brother causes a stir in society with the dark rumors swirling around his reputation, some due to his standoffish demeanor and some due to the mysterious parentage of his rambunctious young ward miss williams

— The Checklist by @thetriumphantpanda

Your new boyfriend Joel finds your hidden stash of porn, full of pages with their corners folded over, marking the things you like the most. Expecting him to feel bad about finding things you’re into, things you haven’t asked for from him, you’re surprised when he offers to help you tick them off.

— The Dog of War by @/bits-and-babs

When Ellie is taken by David, Joel breaks open the part of him locked away since his hunter days. As the guilt eats him alive, you try to help him subdue the black dogs of mental warfare.

— The Revenant Wife by @pettyprocrastination

Ellie knows very little of Joel and even less of the wife he had before the outbreak. When she finally meets you, its just as much as shock to her as it is to your husband. 

— The Way We Fight by @/cupofjoel

you and joel love taking your frustrations out on each other—in more ways than one

— Toyin’ With Them Older Guys by @proxima-writes

Joel Miller is the grumpy bartender and owner of your favorite bar near campus, where you attend trivia every Tuesday night. Thinking there’s no way Joel could return your feelings, your friend suggests trying out Tinder. / But when you bring them to the bar for a date, they keep leaving mid date with no explanation. / Maybe there’s something Joel isn’t telling you after all.

— Trust Fall by @/tinycozycomforts

This, that was a shy thing at first, set into motion by some passing remark you’d made all those months ago—that he would do anything for you if you just asked nice enough.

— Two by @/the-scandalorian

— Watch Party by @/sweetercalypso

renting a Halloween movie turns into a nightmare when poltergeist!Joel Miller crawls out of your TV

— Way Too Damn Needy by @/cupofjoel

— What I Want by @/proxima-writes

joel comes home from a rough day of patrol and you know just what he needs.

— When You're Reading Me by @/psychedelic-ink

If you had to make a list of things Joel Miller might buy you as a gift— nipple clamps, would not be a part of it. 

— Wicked Games by @inklore

relationships are built on trust. favors, kindness, and hands meant to help, not maim. there’s no room for dishonesty, games, or ploys. that’s not the storybook way of things or how life should be. but maybe those rules only mattered when you weren’t living in a world that’s gone to shit |  joel miller x smuggler!reader

— Wish You Were Here by @macfrog

you and joel skip jackson’s annual holiday party in favor of some alone time. (not that kind you filthy animals it’s the HOLIDAYS)

— Woods by @/frannyzooey

— You Know I Don’t Mean It by @joelscruff

you and joel get off together. that’s pretty much it. you also have some unresolved feelings for him and he’s being closed off.

— You Take My Self Control by @/cupofjoel

your first act of brutality leaves you reeling, but you’d do it all over again if it meant saving joel’s life. in the aftermath, you realize you’ve started to crave that violence and it terrifies you. joel steps in to satisfy your craving.

— Your Summer Dream by @/swiftispunk

fresh on the heels of the worst breakup of your life, you find an unexpected kindred spirit in joel miller, who's agreed to tag along for seven days to a tropical resort with you and your parents.

if you haven’t read these, you need to! and please support these amazing fics & writers by reading, reblogging & commenting! 💕

[zae-heeyyy]

Chiaroscuro

Summary: You're very fond of silk scarfs and Arthur Morgan. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Female!Reader Word Count: 1,555 Tags: fluff, developing relationship, Horseshoe Overlook, kissing, affection

a/n: It's been 10 years since I've written and published any type of fiction, so I'm a bit out of my comfort zone. Also learned that they mostly used "scarfs" instead of "scarves" in the 20th century so I wrote accordingly. Let me know if you enjoy; thanks for reading!

( ´˘ᴗ˘)♡(´ ❥ `✿)

chiaroscuro: an Italian term used in art to describe the contrast between light and dark, often associated with dramatic lighting.

You let yourself indulge in one of the few simple pleasures you could afford: silk scarfs. Your clothing trunk was full of them; they were light and didn’t take up a lot of space, something you had to think about in your line of work. The often patterned and bright pieces of fabric were soft and delicate, two things you frequently wished you could be if your life had gone differently. You didn’t want to admit it, but you cared about looking pretty. You didn’t like to go out of your way to style your hair or put on makeup daily, so you settled on scarfs. Still, you didn’t feel like you were easily noticed, like Mary Beth or Molly, but you’d caught the attention of the only one you’d care to, Arthur Morgan. 

Arthur had started to notice your growing collection. He invariably knew when you were wearing a new one, always taking the time to acknowledge it. “New scarf?” He’d ask with his brows raised, or “That’s a nice one.” Sometimes, he’d tease you, “We’re gonna have to get you a whole wagon for all those scarfs.” More seriously, he had started complimenting you, “looks mighty fine, miss,” he’d say, tilting his hat. You’d flush and thank him shyly, and the two of you would go about your separate ways.

Then, the cowboy started seeking you out in the mornings, leaning casually against the wagon where your clothing trunk and scarfs were stored. The two of you would share small talk while you picked out your scarf for the day. He would smile and nod in approval of your choice, no matter what it was, and then he was gone again, disappearing like a whisper in the wind. Once, he leaned over you, grabbed a specific scarf from the pile, and held it out, “That one’s my favorite,” he’d say, making you work to maintain your composure when you were beaming inside. 

After a week or two, your communication was much less vocal. It was intense eye contact and shy smiles and nods. He’d silently look through your scarfs, pick one, and wrap it around your neck for you. He seemed so confident in the moment but would scratch his chin and look away right after, finding some excuse to swiftly depart. His sudden lack of confidence embarrassed him, but you found it endearing.

Finally, the tension had built. Arthur was wrapping your scarf around you like he’d started to do, and you grabbed onto his hands as he finished tying the knot. Both of you paused, staring intently at one another. You lifted up on your toes just as he bent to reach you. It was hard to say who kissed who first, but you’d never been kissed so gently and tender. You wondered if you’d made him want to be that way-- gentle and tender, words no one would usually use to describe the outlaw. You could’ve kissed him forever, but you had to breathe, and he had a job to do. But you’d been giddy, and your heart would flutter whenever he was around; it also ached for the following day when you’d have your moment with him again. 

Some mornings, he’d be there waiting before you’d even gotten completely dressed, still in your shift and bloomers from the night before. He’d hand you a metal cup of coffee, and you’d stand close together, shoulders touching, and you two would go on about whatever came to mind. When you couldn’t waste any more time, he’d pick out your scarf and tie it around your neck. You’d share your anticipated kiss before he went off on whatever errands Dutch wanted him to run for the day. 

You’d found him sitting alone another day, seeking solace from camp with his back against a large rock. His head was dipped into his journal, sketching so intensely that he didn’t notice your approach. You’d only caught a glimpse of pencil markings on the page when he looked up, saw you, and closed it. You’d wonder what he was always writing in that thing, but you respected him enough not to ask. He reached out for your hand and pulled you down to sit with him, not letting it go for the entirety of your conversation. You and he would spend hours behind the boulder, lost in conversation. The mystery of the leather-bound book’s contents would fade away, consumed by memories he’d share with you.

But you’d find out sooner than later by accident. Arthur hadn’t returned to camp in a few days, which was typical. However, it wasn’t normal for him to stalk straight to his tent on his return. His routine usually involved stopping by the donation box or sitting by the fire and, lately, seeking you out. You discovered him in his tent, digging through his satchel, his brows furrowed in frustration. His face softened as you approached, and he looked at you, scratching the back of his neck.

“Lost my damn pencil,” the brooding man murmured, looking around his tent.

You helped him look around his tent and through his satchel, taking the leap to dump all its contents onto the cot. Cigarette cards, documents, herbs, feathers, and his journal fell onto the bed. You’d started to give up when you noticed the gray tip of the pencil sticking out of the journal. You flipped the book open without thinking, too caught up in being the solution to his problem to realize you were about to invade his privacy. As you went to grab the pencil from the crease of the journal, your eyes fell on the bookmarked page. The markings on the paper were so detailed and intricate that you couldn’t help but draw your eyes to them. You’d gone quiet, and he turned to face you. His eyes landed on the open journal briefly before you closed it hastily. Handing it back with the pencil on top, you murmured a quick apology. You looked away from him, putting the contents of his satchel back and going to stand. He gently grabbed your wrist as you tried to leave, making you stop in place. Without resistance, you found yourself guided to the cot, where he sat down, pulling you beside him. His face was soft but riddled with thought as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I—“he paused, searching for the words but decided to show you instead. In your full view, he opened the book, smoothing the pages over his lap. Above an inscription, he’d drawn a flower. You recognized it instantly as a printed flower from a scarf you wore a few days before. Your fingers reached to absent-mindedly touch the fabric around your neck. Then the words caught your eyes and made them almost fill with tears, “That girl and her scarfs bring color to my dull, dull life.” You laughed and wrapped your arms around him. As surprised as he was, he wrapped his around you and held you close for a while

The gunslinger had been less shy after that, keeping the journal open when you’d come to sit beside him behind the rock. He’d sometimes tear a page out and hand it to you or leave it for you to find. You’d started finding them all over the camp. He’d leave one in your clothing trunk, caring to leave several if he knew he’d be away from camp for a while, or you’d find one tucked under your pillow when you went to lay down for the night. The sketches were always so identical to your scarfs that you knew exactly which scarf he was thinking about when he drew it. You’d study the drawings, noticing all the elaborate lines. You wondered how the images stuck in his mind so easily, but he’d confessed to you that every part of you stuck in his mind, always. 

You woke and walked to the wagon one day, but he wasn’t there. In his absence was a small box wrapped in twine with a bundle of English mace sticking out of the top. Your name was scrawled across a tag in his handwriting. You opened it to a pool of plain white silk. “Pure as you” was written on a piece of torn paper on the inside. You beamed but left it in the box and tucked it away with all your other scarfs. 

Arthur returned to camp in the evening just as Pearson had served the stew. As he approached, he smiled at you, but his smile fell when he noticed your unusual lack of a scarf. 

“Did you—“he started to ask, but you threw your arms around him and cut him off with a kiss. 

“‘Course I did,” you pulled him to the spot at the wagon and held the box to him, “Just been waiting for you to tie it on.”

His mouth formed into a slight grin, his chest rising and falling with a deep chuckle.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, darlin'.”

He enveloped you in the scarf, sealing his gesture with another affectionate kiss. As you sat together at the fire, you were engulfed by another type of warmth–– your feelings for Arthur. Though neither of you had said it yet, you knew you loved him, and he loved you too.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/15/2024 Crew Recap

Hey all, today has been a very very very long day. I’m typing this with my eyeballs glazed over and half open. However, so much has happened in such a little amount of time I wanted share a few things before I pass out I know a lot of you are in different timezones, are busy with life, and taking a break, so maybe this will help with parsing through some of the crazy stuff the crew has been up to.

The petition hit 50K, and is at 52.5K at the moment

Fundraisers: I didn’t even realize there were two different fundraisers for Palestine/Gaza going on but we blew both out of the water. (Note: the second picture is from a November campaign but I think its just as important to highlight— ty for the correction anon!)

The Emmys hashtag turn out was great tonight. There was some pretty amazing and creative stuff going on across all the platforms. Some can be seen on IG, but if you wanna see the majority of it, check out twitter #SaveOFMD #75thEmmys

---We have new ways of protesting and advocating for our show, see here for the thread on tumblr (from twitter):---

And to support that @saltpepperbeard was kind enough to put together a wonderful guide on how to Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety which as someone who is socially anxious and sometimes verbally vomits on people when on the phone, is AMAZING and thank you so much for doing that to help.

-- > There is also this new thread on some new places to call into. Don't quote me on that being an official thing we should do, I'm sure @renewasacrew and others will have more in the AM, I just wanted to share it so people could follow if they wanted to.

------------------

New Articles!

Our Flag Means Death: Here’s why season three deserves to be aired

Petition to save BBC show with rare Rotten Tomatoes score gets 50,000 signatures

------------------

There's so much more that's happened today-- but I can't write it all down because my brain is couscous.

<---So instead, I'm going to use this last part to gush over you all and your amazing contributions in all your unique ways. The community support the last few days has been SO INCREDIBLY UPLIFTING.-->

I saw (and experienced) people reblogging asks where random followers, anons, and mutuals just reached out and sent love because they could tell people were struggling.

I've seen comments all over the place on Tumblr, IG, Twitter, and Facebook where each and every person is encouraging each other to speak their mind, or complimenting their artwork, encouraging them if they were feeling uncomfortable with things outside their comfort zones, coming up with new and exciting ways to fight back, people reaching out to the cast/crew just to say hi and remind them we love them.

I've seen Self-Care checkpoints all over, reminding people to drink water, take a break, block your notifications for a while, not engaging in negative behavior.

I've seen people being so nice on instagram posts that the people who were being dicks about all our comments turned around and decided to watch OFMD!

I saw so many people doing new analysis of scenes and characters, and having really deep and friendly discussions that make everyone think in new ways.

I saw people digging through old tumblrs to bring life back to old posts and artwork.

I saw so much NEW artwork, new FICS! New GIFS! So much new art and love!

I could literally go on and on, but I've just...I had to dump this out of my brain otherwise I'd explode. I've just seen so much today that continues to make me so proud of our little safe space ship and so happy to be apart of this community.

You all continue to be the best of the best of humans, and I am so very grateful to get to witness and be apart of it. Rest up lovelies and have a good day / night, wherever you may be. May you dream of sexy middle-aged gay men kissing, or hugging, or whatever else you want them to be getting into.

[simpingforthemm]

being blair waldorf's girlfriend hc's

bullets: 43

warnings: none

summary: dating blair waldorf would include / blair waldorf dating hc's

a/n: I love blair sm and I enjoyed writing this for her! I got inspired since I'm currently watching gossip girl while sick and it's a nice series though it has a lot of drama lol. anyways enjoy!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

blair loves to boss you around but not in the "oh do this and that for me" way but more in a "no don't touch that, y/n! y/n I told you to stay by my side!" way

blair is super protective of you and she's kind of like a helicopter mom whenever the two of you are together

she holds your hand the entire time when you're out at a party, acting like you're in danger and keeps you away from alcohol at all costs

if someone messes with you, she won't hesitate to dig up some dirt about them and expose them in front of everyone

she wouldn't do it anonymously on gossip girl though, she would make sure the person harassing you would know it was her, your girlfriend, and that they should stay away from you

or else

you two have sleepovers a lot, you love doing each other's makeup, watching gilmore girls together and cuddle a lot <3

she definitely brags about you in front of her clique and serena

"while you losers are out going to this stupid party, I'm going to the theater to watch a play, with my girlfriend"

she loves to spoil you (her love language is probably gift giving or words of affirmation + physical touch)

she knows exactly what you like so it's very easy for her to buy gifts for you

probably has a list in her room somewhere of things that you hate / love / dislike / like

she knows what beauty products you like, what smell is your favorite, your favorite colour, favorite author, favorite kind of clothes, gold or silver jewelry

when the two of you are in an especially good place she'll probably come to your apartment (or your shared apartment who knows) and just yell "Honey, I went shopping!" and then just have like 10 shopping bags in the living room, full of stuff just for you

she gets pretty easily annoyed with you when she's not getting what she wants or when she's frustrated with her friends (yes, sometimes she lets it out on you)

she's always very quick to apologize, knowing that you're her sweetheart and that you only want the best for her 🩷

you are one of the only people that can help her get through her mood swings and calm her down when she feels like the whole world is crashing down on her again

when her parents got a divorce, you were right by her side, holding her hand throughout the whole thing and being more her best friend than serena ever could

christmas or any other holiday is always so amazing because she puts in a lot of effort to make them special

will do romantic festive dates with you like go to the christmas market, take a walk through the winter wonderland in central park, go to festive little parties together

you probably have a lot of traditions

like on the first day of school you both will get donuts for breakfast or when there's a ball coming up, the both of you will go shopping together

I could picture that you're not that into shopping (which blair thinks is a total embarrassment) so she will pick out a few dresses for you (since she knows what looks good on you)

she will let you choose the dress you want but will whine if you don't choose the dress she thinks is best

"but y/n!! the blue one looks so much better on you! choose that one!"

blair is very bossy and probably wears the pants in your relationship

she likes to be in control

but you make her step out of her comfort zone sometimes and "make her do crazy things", like she would call it

one time blair whined about her high heels hurting her feet and that she couldn't dance in those goddamn shoes

so the next day you took her to buy sneakers, so that she could dance properly and not be hindered by her heels (pic in the collage with the two girls in the red and blue dresses, they're wearing sneakers hehe)

"No, y/n, no! I won't be wearing this monstrosity of a shoe to a party! What if someone will see, huh?

"Come on, babe! No one will see, I promise! And if so, there's no shame in wanting to not hurt your feet and dance!"

She groans but puts on the shoes regardless

and the both of you have the best night ever, dancing until dawn

also, dorota loves you and thinks you're such a sweetheart

whenever you come over to blair's apartment, she gets really excited, asking you how you've been and telling you how "Miss Blair missed you very much"

you're also probably good friends with Serena and Chuck, since these are the people she's closest with

also you and Blair love to gossip, especially about other people

you always have some kind of drama to discuss or some person to embarrass and take down

you're sort of "partners in crime" even though she hates getting you involved in that stuff

you're probably the most iconic couple at your school and there's a lot of attention on you two because on the upper east side, there aren't a lot of lesbian couples

but you're so in love and there's nobody that could not be jealous of your jealous of your relationship

because you're literally perfect together

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

[kasagia]

right hand IV mini spoiler?🤭

One spoiler may be that I'm doing everything I can to get IV published this week, on Friday at the latest (and I'll probably do it, keep your fingers crossed for me). 😅🙈

But here is a fragment of part IV: 😈😈

(...)

"Yeah… he can be quite a pain in the ass." You nod, shifting your gaze to Feyd. He danced with Irulan. You try to ignore the pang in your heart, and without thinking much, you reach for two glasses, handing one to Fevas. The two of you make a quick toast, and you're relieved to feel the burning sensation of the alcohol masking the unexpected bitterness you feel.

"Well, since he's busy... will you allow me the immense honour of having my toes trampled by you?" You look briefly at the harpies, considering his proposition. It wouldn't hurt anyone if you will have a one dance with your old friend, right?

One of the harpies nods at you while the other two stare daggers at Irulan. And in that very moment, you decide that you will not allow yourself to become another of Na-Baron's harpies. You'd rather die than become the other jealous woman.

"I am better dancer than I used to be. You can get very surprised." You respond flirtatiously, offering him your hand. You giggle, rolling your eyes as he leans down and plants a kiss on it.

"Really? Impossible. The last time you danced with me, I had to go to a medic to heal my poor, trampled toes."

"And yet you still want to dance with me..." You reply teasingly as he leads you to the dance floor. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you a little too close to him for comfort. But neither of you care.

You think it's nice to feel seen and desired. It was certainly better to have a charming man like Fevas than to prop up the walls at a party. Sometimes being in the shadows bothered you. And even though Fevas was... too lively for you, right now you wanted to break out of your comfort zone for a moment. You knew he was perfect for this.

You didn't realise that the blue eyes of a certain Harkonnen were piercing your companion with a hateful look, which especially intensified when Fevas wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and leaned towards you to whisper in your ear.

(...)

"I think you've forgotten who I am to you, little witch. Say it."

"I… you are the Na-Baron." He hums dissatisfyingly, shaking his head at your response.

"Try again."

"Future Baron of Giedi Prime." Your answer was again unsatisfactory to him. You shiver as you feel him press the dagger against your chest, the tip of the blade playing with the strings holding the corseted bodice of your dress together. If he used a little bit of the dress, it would expose your breasts to his view.

"Don't play stupid, or I will punish you in front of everyone. And I wish that dirty, walking pile of muscles that had his hands on you didn't see me slapping your beautiful, little ass red. In fact, I'd rather be the only one enjoying this view, so be my good girl and tell me whose remains I'll throw to my harpies tonight?"

You hold your breath at his words. Feyd couldn't visit his harpies tonight. Not when they were supposed to be busy... getting rid of the baron's corpse. You think quickly, trying to find the best way out of the situation without condemning Fevas to a certain death. Feyd's intense, urgent gaze makes you blurt out words in an act of pure panic and thoughtlessness that you have probably never said to him before.

"No."

I hope you want more... 😊🩵🩵🖤🖤

[crossingthedreams]

blood — the ghoul x f!reader

a/n: yay, i’m posting day 04 — blood on day 06! lol, i’m terrible at time management, but i’m still set on doing this whole challenge! and also, fight me, but walton goggins as the ghoul is INSANELY hot. also, his wife is directing a movie starring him and pedro pascal, so I guess i’m still very much in my comfort zone…? anyway, enjoy! 

summary: humanity is not exclusive to humans, violence is definitely not exclusive to humans. and, apparently, neither is being loved by other humans.

word count: 2k

warnings: angst. age gap. mentions of smut. violence. aggression towards the reader. blood. bad jokes, lol

You couldn’t really fix him, but irredeemableness was hot sometimes.

You ran into each other for the first time about a decade ago, when you were only a young girl finding a place in the world. What caught his eyes all those years ago was the way you naturally knew morals were relative, but ethics were not. An eye for an eye, kill or be killed, that was the law of the wastelands — you realized this very soon, and your priorities were only to enjoy whatever time you had on this violent, destroyed, weird, but still beautiful Earth. 

He helped you get your very first job making inventories for a big store in a small town where he stopped by to collect bounty, and from then on you made quite a life for yourself. You knew mathematics, and you had quite the way with words. Being a young woman helped, too. Customers always liked pretty things. 

He visited you every now and then. You were his only ally left in this town. He came by when he could and stayed while he pleased, never one to announce his arrival or departure. Once he disappeared for two years, and you were sure he was dead — dead for real.

As always, he proved himself resistant. Like a radroach. 

You weren’t the least surprised when he walked in through the front door of your store like he owned the place, looking around and whistling in a complementary fashion. 

“Who’d you sleep with to get such a… prestigious job, sweetheart?”, his half smile matched his mischievous expression. That accent was unmistakable.

You closed the book you were writing the inventory, not bothering to greet or acknowledge him. 

“We’re closed”. 

“Even for dear ol’ friends?”.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did closed mean something else in the good ol’ days?”, your response was harsher than you thought, as you kept on organizing the balcony. He liked it, though, always one to nurture any violence you had within you, even if it was directed towards him. 

The half smile was still there. “Sweetheart,” his accent was really strong, and it was music to your ears, although you’d never admit, “you have a place full of them goods, and I got a handful of pretty little caps”.

“We can make this work”, you finally let your gaze meet his. He looked even less human than last time. The hole on the place where his nose should be no longer surprised you, but the yellow in his teeth did. You knew he could very well take better care of his hygiene. “What do you need? Clothes, perfume?”.

“Ouch! Kitty’s got claws”, he brought a hand to his chest, pretending to be hurt, and you realized his fingers were more necrotic, too. “I’d like that, yes, but I’d enjoy vials and a nice warm bath much more. Present company invited, but not required”. 

You walked from behind the counter, bringing yourself closer to him. He looked more tired than usual, also restless. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe, taking a little longer in some place. You crossed your arms in front of you, letting him look. As you well knew, customers liked pretty things. 

He took a deep sniff, and his eyes rested on your stomach. 

“You smell like a Christmas dinner, darling”, he took several steps closer, moving faster than you could. What he didn’t know was that, while you cleaned the counter, you got your pistol. Now, that pistol was aiming towards him. 

“You’re acting weird, friend”, if the years had taught you anything, it was to ever trust people, and never rely on the sanity of a ghoul. Even if it was the Ghoul.

He receded, arms up in surrender. “I wasn’t gonna hurt you, gorgeous”, he tilted his head, “I never have”. 

In the many years your paths crossed, he had been a friend, a customer, and sometimes a lover. He never let you please him, barely let you kiss him, but he enjoyed laying you on the bed like a meal and eating you out for as long as he could. This dinner comment of his wouldn’t have alarmed you, but paired with the shifting eyes and the appearance he had on today, you knew there was something wrong. 

“Took me a delicious vial some hours ago, sweetheart”, he spoke calmly, and you realized he understood. In your mind, at least, he saw the roughness in you and understood it. After all, he too had to compromise morals in order to prevail in a batshit world. You liked that he would make you feel understood, even if only for a small amount of time. But you liked surviving more, and better safe than sorry was your life motto. 

You lowered the gun. You weren’t even sure it would hurt him at all. “Why are you here?”.

“You always speak so correctly, doll. Enunciating every. single. word”, he took a step to the side, admiring the pieces behind your counter. The Ghoul looked back from his shoulder. “You’re on your period, huh?”

“What the fuck?”

“Us, ghouls”, he passed a finger on the top of the counter, examining his fingertips afterwards, looking for dust that wasn’t there, “we have a heightened sense of smell, and your blood is mighty fine”, he turned fully towards you, the entire length of the counter between you. 

You put the gun on the counter and crossed your arms. He wanted something, and whatever bullshit he thought he had to tell to get there was, quite honestly, just aggravating. 

You were about to repeat the question, why are you here, but you simply opened and closed your mouth. It would be better to call his name, then ask the question, but you didn’t know his name. Ten years, many encounters, countless times saving each other's asses, and you didn’t know his name. He didn’t know yours, but still. 

“Do ghouls bleed?”, you asked, instead, trying to avoid whatever emotions you just tapped into. Out of sight, out of mind.

He tilted his head. “Why, gorgeous, I don’t know where your mind just went. But I’m damn sure this ain’t the question you wanna ask”. 

You always felt anxious around him, for a number of reasons. If he decided you were better off as food, then you were a goner. If he decided he wanted to kill you, also bye-bye. But what if he did that thing he did sometimes, and looked at you with more humanity than any of the people you grew up with? What if he kissed your neck and made you wonder how touching his skin must feel like? The times you and him got physically involved, he was always very distant. Kept his clothes on, even his hat — except for the one time he let you use it. 

He would let you ride his tight, and he would finger you with gloved hands, too. He went down on you sometimes, and it felt incredible. But that was that. No kissing on the lips, no letting you see him unclothed. 

And that made you wonder…

“...did your dick fall off of you, too?”

“What the fuck?”, it was his turn to be shocked.

The words came out before you could even stop then. Both your hands went straight to your mouth, covering it as if you could it back. The Ghoul looked amused and annoyed at the same time. 

“If you want something, sweetheart, all you have to do is ask”. 

“I-I don-n’t, I didn’t m-mean i-it”, your words were incomprehensible as you tried to lighten the mood, mostly for yourself. Embarrassment didn’t suit you. 

He let out a tiny smile, and pointed to a pair of chairs you owned as if he was the owner. “Sit down”.

“You don’t have to…”, you wanted to make him feel comfortable, but you were far too uneasy to do so. Surely, your cheeks were flushed. 

“Just sit down, woman”.

And so you did. It was rare that the Ghoul would want to talk, let alone have an actual conversation. Truth be told, your curiosity got the best of you. 

“Simply put, yes ghouls bleed, yes ghouls have their, uh, genitals, fully intact. But that’s as far as I know, I don’t go around examining private parts in every ghoul I meet”, you both let out a quiet laugh. “Ask away”. 

Your confusion must have been clear on your face, because he followed: “You can ask me something, and I might reply. In return, you’ll give me some vials and food. Sound good?”

It sounded awful. Yet, you found yourself agreeing. You were a business woman, and information went a long, long way. You just had to be very careful and ask only the right questions. Not too personal, not too detached. And he knew all this, which was way starting off was easy, even if you were still a little embarrassed. 

“Does my blood smell that strongly?”

He let out a loud laugh. It was the first time, in all those years he was your acquaintance, he did so, and you thought it sounded lovely. 

“Yes”, he replied, his eyes darkening. Desire or hunger, you would never know. “Yes, it does. But all blood has a very pungent smell, so don’t go getting self-conscious".

“Would you ever kill me?”.

“Yes”, he said without a care in the world. “And I hope that, if it ever came down to my life or yours, you had the balls to shoot me in the head too”.

You nodded, once. 

“If you ever go feral and I find out, would you want me to kill you?”

He nodded, twice.

“I sure hope you’d do an old man a favor and end his miserable life if he ever lost his mind, girl”, again, there it was. That humanity in his eyes. That which would differ him from humans and ghouls. 

It made you all the more anxious as you looked at his fingers, which looked more necrotic than ever. You liked him, you considered him a friendly stranger and that was the worst part. You picked the flask from inside your coat and passed it to him. 

“Do you want to spend the night?”, you said as he took a long sip. 

He put the flask down and smiled, ever the heart-breaker. “Nah, sweetheart, I got some stuff to attend. I will take my stuff, though”. 

Disappointed, but not surprised, you went to the back to pick up the merchandise he needed. When you came back, his head was down on the table that sat in between the chairs you were using, and you rushed next to him. Eyes closed. 

Next to his mouth, some blood stained the table. 

You hit him once, twice. “Hey!”, you called, hoping to elicit some kind of response, but he was out. He wasn’t dead, but he was weak and passed out on your ‘for sale’ furniture.

The Ghoul coughed hardly, more blood coming out of his mouth, as he seemed to come to his senses slowly. He jumped a little, looking scared, and stood up taking you by your throat. 

“What the fuck did you do to me?”

You couldn’t reply even though you tried. He was choking you too hard, and not in a good way. 

He tossed you on the floor, and the impact against the counter hurt and made some things, some glass things, break. You knew your blood was probably everywhere, but you could only bring yourself to look at the Ghoul, your heart aching. 

The look on his face was not one of hatred, it was pure confusion and terror. He saw the bag of goods you had set aside for him, went towards it quickly and picked it up, all while you tried to sit up, mouth bloody and several cuts all over your arms.

He left without even looking back.

[billthedrake]

TRAINING THE SALES GUY (PART SIX)

Previous chapters here: https://www.gaydemon.com/stories/Training_the_Sales_Guy_42206.html

I was supposed to be the one training my co-worker Carson, but the next business trip was more the other way around.

"The Dream Team is back," he said when I showed up at the gate area of the airport. Carson always got there early, and I always cut it close. He looked like a million bucks, in his slim-cut suit and neatly trimmed hair cut and beard. I knew things were just a sex-buddy dynamic between us, and that we were coworkers first. And Carson Wells had a bro-ish personality that was good in small doses but got on my nerves sometimes. But if the dude was gay I'd probably be getting more than a little crushed out on him.

"You probably say that to the other account execs," I teased as I took a sip of coffee.

Maybe that was a pissy thing to say and Carson would read some jealousy into it. But he just smiled back and laughed. "I forgot how cranky you are in the morning, Boss."

Those baby blues and that flirty disposition was making me wonder how good I was at maintaining my defenses and boundaries.

"It's why I'm single, Wells." I figured some self-deprecating humor would help.

"I doubt that," he said with surprising sincerity. "You just got off your game, Boss. When was the last time you went on a date?"

Maybe Carson had an ulterior motive for asking. A way of saying that nothing romantic or permanent was going to develop between us. But his tone was natural, on the level. I realized that he probably talks this way to his bro buddies in the office, and this was his way of including me in that work-friend category.

I sat down next to him. "About two months ago. When was your last date, Wells?"

He flashed his pearly white smile. "Had two last week, Boss. Different chicks.... it's a lot of effort, but I enjoy the hunt, you know?"

"I get that," I said. I'd been like that when I was in my 20s. But after the divorce, I'd had fun with more casual sex but found the process of using apps a fucking chore.

As we drifted into small talk, and then lined up to board the flight, a deep part of me hoped Carson wasn't so successful at his dating that he'd cut me off entirely. Then another part of me hoped for that very thing.

****

We were all business that day. Carson was particularly focused on our presentation. He was normally in the zone on our sales calls, but that day he was nervous I could tell. It was a huge prospective client, and it would mean a fat commission for Wells. It was getting to him.

I pulled him aside during a quick break an hour and a half in. "Relax, buddy," I said. "We got this."

I could see the tension in his handsome face. "Yeah?" Not believing me but appreciative of my forced confidence.

I shrugged. "It's a like a date. You can't want her too much, or it's all fucked up."

Hell, I didn't know how straight guys dated, but the advice seemed to work. "Yeah," he said.

We did good but not great. It might not matter, depending on what the company wanted. I wasn't going to sweat it. We'd come in and done our part. The rest was out of our hands.

And Carson was back in fine form over the dinner. We'd taken a number of the contacts out to a nice steak restaurant, and Wells was in classic sales guy mode. Chatty but not too chatty, able to engage with everyone at the table, comfortable in mixing business with pleasure.

And he was in a good mood after, as we got back to our hotel.

"Wanna come to my room, Boss?" he asked.

I wasn't expecting this. It had been a long day. And if it had been anyone other than Carson I might have even begged off getting my cock sucked.

"Sounds great, Wells," I said.

We wheeled our luggage to the elevator, and I think we both had smirks on our faces as we rode up.

"I guess we're getting more comfortable with this," Carson said, speaking the very thought I was thinking.

I nodded. "If you ever don't feel comfortable, Carson, please let me know." I'd gone too far in this affair to be safe from HR consequences, but at least I wanted to give Carson an out any time he felt like it.

He laughed. I expected him to make a crack about uptight Bill, but instead he said, "It's crazy. I knew I liked sucking dick, but you got me into the other stuff, Boss... I even watch the videos you sent."

Indeed I'd discovered a new Pornhub guy with a very minimal gag reflex and no inhibitions about working the one he had.

I was getting turned on, surprisingly by Carson's candor as much as anything. "Well it's really hot to experience your skills," I said, my voice almost cracking into a whisper.

The elevator dinged and we wheeled our bags down the hall. Carson tapped his key card and we entered.

"Um, Carson... can I ask you something?" I started. "What makes you like it?" I'd been afraid to ask. Afraid I'd spook this straight guy with a major bi streak.

He'd clearly been asking himself the same question. "I dunno, Boss... it's just... when you use my throat, it's like I'm not the one who needs dick, you're just feeding it to me."

I didn't quite follow. "You afraid of being gay, Carson?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I'm not gay, thought maybe you don't believe me."

"I believe you," I replied. "But it doesn't matter if I do."

He took that in. "Yeah. I guess having a cock in my mouth always feels like the last thing I should be doing, and the taboo of it gets me off."

"The forbidden fruit thing is hot for me too," I said.

Carson's blue eyes twinkled in amusement. "Fuck yeah it is, Boss." He pulled out his phone and wallet and set them on the table. "I think the fact you're a fag..." he stopped himself. "Sorry boss... but I think that when your cock is in my mouth and it takes me to this fucked up place."

I didn't know what to make of it. But I was getting head from Carson more than I ever dreamed of, so I decided not to get pissed off. "Please don't get therapy, Carson," I joked. "At least not anytime soon."

That made the guy laugh. He's so fucking sexy when he laughs. "Don't worry, Boss."

With that he knelt down in front of me. I was already hard and Carson's touch at my crotch made me harder. He teased and massaged my ridge in my suit pants, then pulled my zipper down.

"OK if we start with some old-fashioned head?" he asked.

"Yeah," I croaked. "More than OK." I'd been enjoying the more extreme throat training lately, but a standard Carson Wells BJ was always gonna get me off big.

He licked my dick up and down, before pulling back. "You mad at me for what I said?" he asked.

I nodded. "A little, yeah." I figured I should be honest. "But I'm not gonna stay mad at you, Carson. Just don't call me that again. You can think it or whatever."

"Yeah," he sighed. He was genuinely contrite. He seemed to be taking in my cock with his hungry eyes, examining my length and girth.

Then, slowly he opened his mouth and descended on me.

"Oh fuck!" I hissed. Carson's mouth felt great. I knew I'd spend the next day wondering if these blowjobs were keeping me from finding a boyfriend, even a casual one. Carson Wells had gone from top 5 in his oral skills to top cocksucker in my life experience, period. The best I'd ever have, I knew.

I looked down as he blew me. His hunky body in his navy suit, head bobbing up and down. I could hear the spit and the suction around my prick and the rhythmic soft moans from this throat. He was working himself deeper on my pole, working up to a deep throat. Not fast but steady, knowing what he was doing. He was getting me to that place, fast, that build up of pleasure, and then it was like his mouth and throat was gonna milk the load out of my balls.

Only he pulled off instantly and gripped the base of my prick, pinching it slightly. "Goddamn, you're worked up tonight, Boss."

"Jesus, Wells," I exclaimed.

My excitement made him smile. "See? Sometimes it's better not to have to go all hardcore and shit." He let go of my dong and started tonguing the bottom half of the shaft. With anyone else, it might look slutty, but I knew Carson was mostly trying to let me enjoy this without blowing too soon. It worked, sort of.

There was a clear excitement for him, too, as he looked up at me, hands on his trousers, gym-toned chest showing between the spread lapels of his coat. Unlike me, he wasn't wearing a tie but instead rocking that more millennial business-bro look. It suited him.

"Thanks for letting me initiate this, Boss," he said softly. "I don't know if I'd like it the other way."

In my head our affair wasn't one-way, but I knew what Carson meant. "You do a lot for me, Wells... I want you comfortable with it."

He nodded. He reached down and fiddled with his zipper and belt. Often he didn't like jerking, and I think he was shy of letting me see his dick. But Carson was pulling it out now and wrapping his fist around it just as he leaned back forward.

"MMMmmh," he moaned around my prick as he swallowed me. He'd gotten warmed up already so now was just a skilled, silky deep throating. Up and down, six, seven inches at a time. Almost bouncing. Carson was driving his blowjob but he was abusing his throat all on his own. Deep throating me, faster and faster, till he was spearing his gullet with rhythmic gutteral sounds.

"God yes," I hissed. Watching him do a sword swallowing thing like a pro.

I heard the gurgle of a gag on one down stroke then that familiar mucusy slickness on my meat, dripping out of Carson's mouth and onto my balls. That did it for me.

"Shit!" I muttered. And I was cumming down Wells' throat.

He slowed his mouth strokes just enough to be able to swallow my semen comfortably. And as he rode out the aftershocks of my orgasm, he stroked himself to completion.

Carson finally pulled back, a flush look of sexual satisfaction on his face, which must have matched mine.

"Thanks you, Wells.... you outdid yourself." I wanted to give him every compliment I could.

He smirked. "Yeah, I've been wanting to try that, Boss." He looked down at his hand. It was covered in his own jizz. Carson shoots a lot. He got up off his knees, holding his hand out to keep the dripping load from getting on his suit. I'd have to get mine cleaned, but it would be worth it.

He wiped off then offered me the Kleenex box. I used a couple to handle the spit and throat slime. There were some cum dribbles too but Carson took care of most of those. I tucked back in and sighed.

"We good, Wells?" I asked.

His green eyes met mine. "Yeah, we're good."

I wanted to kiss him bad. But that wasn't in the cards. So I grabbed my luggage and gave Carson one last nod before walking out of his room and over to mine.

As I got ready for bed, I thought over the evening. Sometimes I had real misgivings about fooling around with my straight-ish coworker. But that night I had none. The sex was hot as hell.

****

"You up?" came the text bright and early the next morning.

I was up, but barely. It was pretty early. "Yes. Still on East Coast time."

"Can I come by?"

My morning wood throbbed. "Sure."

Fuck, this was too easy. Wells was going to make me look forward to business travel all right.

I wasn't decent when he showed up a minute later. But that didn't matter. Carson had on only a pair of gym shorts and athletic shirt. The shorts didn't hide a thick boner.

"Hey," he said, morning voice making him sound deeper.

I ushered him in. "Hey," I laughed. It was a little absurd how carried away we were getting. But Carson's body was looking really fucking good in those clothes.

"I was jerking off and I thought the hair of the dog might be in order."

I smiled. I was now self conscious that Carson noticed the boner in my underwear. "I'm surprised I have anything left in the tanks after last night. You drained me, buddy."

Wells had a slightly nervous look on his face now. "You not up for it?" he asked.

"I'm very up for it," I replied.

I took the initiative and peeled down my briefs. By now Wells had seen my cock a lot but I wasn't sure how often I was completely naked.

The man's eyes were pretty much on my dick though, till he took them away and looked back up at me. "You OK if we try something new, Boss?"

"After last night... you can try out as much as you want," I said.

He grinned and peeled off his shirt. I'd never have a body that could compete with his, but that was OK. "I've been watching some videos. I guess they give me ideas."

My heart was pounding now. I wasn't expecting a two-fer on this trip. So it was a nice surprise. Particularly as Carson slid down his gym shorts. He was hard and I could see his dick still was covered in a lot of lube. I wondered how long the guy had been jerking off that morning.

My own bone twitched as I watched my coworker lie down on his back, settling in on the unmade bed, till his head lay just past the edge. I didn't need a diagram to know what he had in mind. I stepped up, hands on my hips and positioned my cock above his face.

Wasting no time, Carson leaned up, attacking my nuts with his tongue before I angled my prick to let him lick that. As he did, he jerked his cock, not fast, just enough to prime the pump during this foreplay ritual.

"Fuck, Boss, you have a great cock," he hissed. Hearing that was enough to make me spurt some precum on his chin and neck. Carson could tasted it was he licked his way to the head.

I swiveled my hips back to give him access. That tongue laved all around my head, slobbering it down. Carson wasn't shy about extra spit with me now and excess saliva dripped down his face.

"God fucking damn, Wells," I hissed as I watched the lewd sight.

He muttered something then more spit ran out just before he swallowed me.

The trick of being an oral top, particularly for the more extreme sucking, is knowing when you can take charge. Carson was ready. I reached down and pressed against his shoulder. To steady him but also to let him know I was coming in.

Wells grunted along my cock but was ready. I steadily speared his throat, from the inner part to the deeper reaches. He quickly stopped jerking and I realized it was to keep from coming. Wells was loving this shit.

I pulled back and thrust in again. And again. Wells' throat was snug and wet and alive. I don't know why we hadn't done this before, but we were doing it now.

I heard his soft grunts and felt his excitement as I steadily fucked his throat. Taking my hands off his shoulder, I leaned forward. That meant I couldn't watch his face and throat as easily, but the better thrusting angle made it worth while.

I just went for it. Not super rough, but steady firm thrusts deep into Carson's gullet in rapid succession. Figured I could stir the pot and see if I could get some nice slime.

It took a half minute, a half minute of watching Carson's dick jerk in excitement before I heard and felt it.

I stopped and withdrew. To give Wells a break and check in on him, but also to see that trophy. That milky mucus was thick around my bone but I didn't realize just how much there was until I pulled out completely and watched thick river of slime run down his handsome face.

"Fuck!" he gasped, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath.

"You OK, Wells?" I asked.

He was beet red and not opening his eyes but he grunted a yes. "Go for it, Boss."

I got back in place. Entry was easier this time. And as I fucked his face I heard the sloppy wet sloshing.

"Gonna cum..." I said.

That was the cue. He grabbed his own dick and jerked in rapid strokes.

We came together. My dick pumping its morning load straight into his guts as his own fired out. Like I say, Carson's a gusher, and I enjoyed watching several streaks of thick cum land on his muscular body.

I knew I had to give him a break now, and fast. I wasn't rough, but quickly I pulled out.

He sucked in some air while I went to get a washcloth for him. He seemed grateful for it and as he sat up he wiped his face down.

"Damn, Boss, you're hardcore."

I nodded. "I got news for you Wells, you're pretty hardcore yourself."

He finished wiping off and I took the cloth from him. It was only then that we felt self conscious being fully naked with one another.

Carson looked at the clock. "Well, I'm not getting my morning workout in, I guess," he said, acknowledging the time. We had about a half hour before we had to leave to the airport. "But fuck I was horny."

I gave a nod and watched Carson find his clothes.

"You're getting really good at this, Carson," I said. Not just complimenting him, but acknowledging that he was taking the throat abuse like a pro.

He pulled on his T shirt and flashed a grin. "I am, aren't I?"

"You doing anyone else?" I asked. I don't know why I did, but curiosity got the best of me.

He seemed offended though. "Would it bother you if I did?" he asked.

I shook my head and gave the best contrite expression I could. "Not at all. You're your own man, Wells. Just curious was all."

That seemed to put him at ease, but his voice was still quiet. "You're the only dude I suck, Boss."

"Cool," I said. I gave a pause. "I know this arrangement is weird as fuck, Wells. But anytime you offer head, I'm not gonna turn you down."

He liked that. "You'll find a boyfriend to focus on, Boss," he said. He'd bene thinking about that. "In the meantime, let's just have fun, OK?"

Dude actually fist bumped me on the way out of my hotel room.

***

Carson upgraded on the flight back, while I stayed in coach. I was glad not to have to make small talk. Still, I felt a strange elation when I got the news on my work phone as we landed. The decision was fast. We'd won the prospect as a client.

Carson was waiting for me at the gate in the terminal. "The Dream Team did it!" he growled, pulling me into a bear hug.

I hugged him back. "You're buying me drinks with that commission money, Wells."

[tempting-andromeda]

Could you do some artist head canons with eagle flies and charles? (Maybe john and/or arthur too?) like they are the readers muse for most of their works?

(Sorry if this is too broad, i just love your work sm!)

Artist s/o headcanons

Characters: Eagle Flies, Charles Smith, Arthur Morgan, John Marston

Eagle flies

Likes to look at your drawings

Even if you don’t allow him to

Once he sees you small doodles of him he gets so flustered

Stares at it for hours

He’s exited you found him interesting enough to draw him

He doesn’t confront you about it but he does tell Paytah

Hes so excited to be like “yeah they draw! And they drew me!” And Paytah already knows because eagle flies has the worst tendency to just zone out and you take advantage of that

Gets embarrassed but now he’s like… conscious about zoning out

If you ask him to pose he does so without any hesitation!

Likes to watch you draw

Leans over your shoulder and watched how you know exactly where to place the shading

It’s all very interesting to him

He likes when you don’t hide some of his traits when you draw him

When you include the scars on his face, his sharp cheekbones, etc

He feels nice knowing you noticed those things about him

Charles Smith

He knows you draw and you’re quite the artist but doesn’t expect to be your muse

Likes to support your art but tries to keep himself out of it to not disturb you

Once he sees a sketch of himself he gets so flustered

He doesn’t feel so mean and large when you draw him

He feels soft

The main focus isn’t his furrowed brows or dark under eyes

It’s anything else but you still drew them

You still noticed them and didn’t pretend that he looked better without

Thinks it’s sweet when you draw him whom he’s working

He doesn’t see the beauty in it but you seem too and who is he to argue

Does ask for playful requests though

Has asked you to draw random animals doing human things just to humor you

Tries to ignore the warm feeling in his chest whenever you draw him though

He likes it but he doesn’t want to seem too egotistical

He just likes that you see him differently than he does

Arthur Morgan

He’s used to being pulled out of his comfort zone

Not once in his life as he ever thought “hmm I want someone to draw me”

But one day he catches you drawing him and his heart bursts

He knows a bit about art

He doesn’t use many nice things just a pencil and paper, not wanting to focus on anything all too much so he can get by

He knows art is difficult if you want to make it look good

So when he finds out you’re drawing him? He’s flattered

His hands feel clammy and his cheeks feel hot

So when you ask him to pose or if you can draw him he nearly rejects you but he quickly recovers and just asks that you don’t make it a habit

Truthfully he wants you to make it a habit

He wants to see how you see him

Is he mean and dumb looking or is he just a guy

It’s incredibly intimate to him and he doesn’t know why

He likes looking over then, lazily chewing on his nail as he looks at one of your paintings of his eyes

Will say that you’re painting the wrong man and that your picture is a different man than him but it’s special to him

John Marston

Can’t pose for shit

He’s stiff and awkward

But sometimes you catch him when he’s distracted

He’s whittling or polishing his gun and he looks…calm

He’s definitely someone you have to draw off guard

If he knows what you’re doing he’s making it awkward for the both of you

Will smile but it’s just teeth and his face is blank

But when you catch him off guard he looks so calm

Or when he’s sleeping

He likes looking at your drawings and looking at how you see him

He didn’t let you draw him because of his scars at first but now he liked seeing you draw them

You put in just as much detail like you refuse to forget them

It makes him feel nice

He does tease though

“Why didn’t you add my rugged muscles?”

[volklana]

Love's The Death of Peace of Mind

Title Comes From This Song:

Cannot recommend enough listening to this song as you read it set the whole tome for me writing.

Request: Please I'm on my knees a modern Sihtric x reader where they hate each other. But somehow end up fucking and then become obsessed with each other. I've seen with your Bucky fics that you sometimes use songs so could I suggest The Death of Peace of Mind by bad Omens? I'm already drooling...

Modern!Sihtric x Reader

Warnings: Hints of slight alcohol abuse. If that isn't for you, please don't read, protect your peace and you can catch me next time xx

I don't know why but I hyperfixated on Sihtric's hair in this one??

You felt stupid, walking up the steps to the club with the small gift bag in hand, the loud music already blaring before you even made it inside.

Your eyes scanned the room for the one person you knew in the city, slightly regretting that you had agreed to come out to celebrate his birthday but he had assured you his friends would love you, and when he got down on his knees at work amidst the pile of band shirts you were attempting to fold and begged you to come, you just couldn’t refuse him.

You finally spotted him laughing easily with a group of friends and shyly made your way over.

“You came!” he shouted, placing his drink down on the table and running to meet you, picking you up and spinning you around as you laughed freely, despite your nerves, “You got me a gift?” he exclaimed when he finally placed you down.

“It’s only something small,” you laughed at his childlike excitement.

You had left an incredibly shitty relationship and moved to London, a few months ago, but it wasn’t until you started working at a backstreet record store that you had met Osferth, and surprised yourself at how quickly you two had become friends. 

He didn’t exactly give you a choice.

Soon another pair of strong arms pulled you in for a hug and he introduced himself as Finan, winking at you and you felt your cheeks flush.

Osferth brought you over to the table they had been sitting at and introduced you to a couple who were seated.

“Uhtred. Gisela, this is y/n!” Osferth shouted over the music and Gisela was rising out of her seat like lightning “Finally!” she exclaimed coming to give you a hug, “We’ve heard so much about you! It’ll be nice to finally have another girl to keep these guys in check!” you giggled and squished her back in appreciation, throwing a smile towards Uhtred who was patiently waiting his turn to give you a hug. 

“I’m not sure where Sihtric is but you’ll meet him tonight too,” Osferth grinned and Gisela leaned in closer to your ear, “Don’t be offended if he doesn’t react too warmly. He’s shy.”  You nodded, thanking her for the heads up.

“I’m going to get a drink,” you shouted over the music and Osferth rose too, “I’ll come with you,” he offered and you shook your head, “Stay and enjoy yourself, I’ll be right back!” you countered and he smiled happily taking his seat again.

You pushed your way through the sweaty bodies on the dancefloor, making your way across to the bar and tried to settle the nerves in your stomach. You were so out of your comfort zone, that you’d already decided you would have two or three drinks and dip out early and leave Osferth in the very capable hands of his friends.

You ordered your usual drink and then for good measure, ordered a shot for some liquid confidence. It was then you spotted what you thought was the most gorgeous man you had ever laid eyes on, leaning with his back against the bar, eyes watching the dancefloor with a drink in hand, His black skinny jeans were tucked into a pair of doc martens and he was wearing a grey and black plaid shirt over a black tee, his hair was pulled into a bun at the nape of his neck. He must have sensed your gaze because suddenly his eyes were on yours and his face hardened, eyeing you with uncertainty. You quickly downed your shot and made your way back to Osferth’s table. 

You chatted easily with Gisela, already making plans to meet her for coffee and swapping numbers. Finan was laying the flirting on thick but you quickly realised it was his way of teasing and he almost lit up when you began giving it back just as good.

When you finished your drink, you were relieved when he offered to grab you a fresh one as he went to order himself another pint.

“Sihtric!” Osferth shouted “Finally, come here I want you to meet y/n”

Your stomach dropped when you realised it was the guy from the bar. He simply nodded your way in acknowledgement, and it was only under these lights that you realised that he had two different coloured eyes, and his face twitched in amusement.

“Your friend has a staring problem Osferth,” he teased and you felt your cheeks heat up and wanted the ground to swallow you whole, “I’m Sihtric,” he nodded your way.

 “Nice to meet you, you managed a small shy smile his way and Gisela, squeezed your leg with a knowing smile. 

After a couple of drinks you made your excuses, reminding Osferth that you had taken the opening shift so that he could sleep off his hangover in the morning. Sihtric was once again nowhere to be found, so you said goodbye to the rest of the group, promising you would come out again soon. 

You pulled your leather jacket tighter around your body as you took your phone out to book an uber.

“Leaving so soon?” a cocky voice called over your shoulder and you turned around to see Sihtric propped up against the wall, exhaling cigarette smoke, as he flicked the ash from the top of his lit cigarette.

“Yeah,” you sighed “I’ve got work in the morning.” 

“Thought you’d be heading back with Osferth, giving him his proper present,” he smirked, taking another pull of his cigarette and you glared his way.

“It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”

Sihtric threw his cigarette away and moved towards you, “So you’ve no interest in letting him take you home and having his way with you?.” 

“None,” you shot back indignantly. “Maybe, you can’t keep friends without fucking them, but I’m not like that.”

“Hmm,” he considered, moving into your space, “But we’re not friends, and I’ve seen you looking at me all night. Maybe you’d like me to take you home and show you a good time.” 

You wanted to tell him to back off, to tell him he was reading you wrong. But truth be told it had been months since anyone had ignited this kind of spark in and you had been lonely in this city.

You swallowed thickly as his two mismatched eyes bore down into yours.

“They- they told me you were shy,” was the only thing you could muster and he chuckled, deep and seductively he dipped down to whisper in your ear, hand snaking up to wrap in your hair “Quiet and shy are not the same thing, lady.” 

You could barely keep your hands off each other in the cab back to his apartment. He nipped and sucked the skin on your neck, and you were sure you would have to wear a turtleneck to work tomorrow to hide the evidence.

Sihtric pushed you up against the wall of the elevator and you were almost dizzy when he pulled away, spilling out into the corridor and through the door of his apartment.

He was rough and needy, barely allowing you space to breathe, pulling the sleeves of your dress down your arms and watching as it slipped to the floor, he made quick work of his own clothes too before he flung you on the bed.

He was a commanding lover, marking your body and fucking you hard and fast until you were a screaming mess, which seamed to only spur him further. 

“Say my name. Say my name love, I’m so close.”

You looked up at him through your lashes and it was like his name left your lips of its own accord and he collapsed a panting weight on top of you.

He snaked his hands around you, pressing you closer to him, “Such a feisty little thing,” he chuckled and you wrapped your fingers through his soft hair, pulling the band from his hair and letting his loose curls free, “So pretty,” you couldn’t help but muse, as his curls fell down around his face, but his gaze hardened and it was like the spell was broken.

He rolled off you, and slipped his underwear back on and began rummaging through his jeans until he found his box of cigarettes, he made his way towards the balcony before he threw a glance your way, “Do you want me to call you a cab?”

You whipped your head in his direction but he was keeping his gaze solely on the door to the balcony and you couldn’t help the shame pitting in your stomach. He wanted you to leave.

“Um, no I can get an uber,” you tried to answer nonchalantly, trying to disguise the hurt you felt at being used and the sudden change in pace. 

“Okay,” was all he answered before pulling the sliding door open and stepping out into the night air, as you watched the flame of his lighter ignite the cigarette.

You quickly pulled your discarded clothes back on and fumbled with your phone until you had successfully booked an uber through the app. 

You waited for Sihtric to come back inside, but he never turned to look at you again, feeling your stomach churn when he simply lit another cigarette.

Your phone pinged to say your driver was outside and so you let yourself out of his apartment, and down to the lobby. As you opened the door to get into the back of your car, you risked a glance back up to his balcony, you could still make out his silhouette and the little flicker of a lit cigarette, but he didn’t acknowledge you, instead turning on his heel and making his way back inside, and you cried the whole way home in the back of the uber. 

You never told Osferth about what had happened after you left the club that night, and you gathered that Sihtric hadn’t either. You did however meet up for that coffee with Gisela, mainly because she wouldn’t give you the option not to. 

“You’ve been avoiding us,” she murmured softly.

“I’ve just been busy,” you lied, stirring your coffee more than you needed to, and she decided against arguing with you.

“Well this Saturday is Uhtred’s birthday, and before you say you can’t, I happen to know you have the weekend off. I already checked with Osferth,” you couldn’t help but laugh at her eagerness “Please, y/n. For me. For Osferth. Please come.”

And that was precisely how you’d found yourself sipping a drink on the sofa of Uhtred and Finan’s apartment, music blaring and deep in conversation with Finan.

You were relieved when you arrived that there was no sign of Sihtric, and so had settled into an easy conversation with the Irishman, who was trying to convince you to let him tattoo you, opening up his instagram to show you some of his work.

“Sorry I’m late,” a voice announced from the hallway, hauling in a crate of beer, “My last appointment ran a little over time.”

“Sure!” the Irishman taunted “More like you got carried away with that hot blonde I left you with.”

Sihtric smiled smugly, but his face dropped when he spotted you.

“Y/n,” he acknowledged.

“Sihtric,” you threw back and then turned your attention back to Finan urging him to continue showing you his work. 

You danced a bit with Gisela and Eadith, bumping hips and running your hands through your hair, you were tipsy and having more fun than you’d had in months, before you excused yourself to go grab a drink from the fridge. Sauntering past Sihtric without sparing him a glance.

You were about to close the fridge yourself, when someone reached over you from behind and slammed it shut.

“Were you just going to ignore me all night then?” Sihtric’s sultry voice whispered in your ear and you carefully twisted around, eyeing him cautiously.

“That was the plan.” 

“And why would you want to do that? You were screaming my name not so long ago.”

“I’m a good actress,” you spat and went to push past him, but he caught your arm.

“No, you’re not,” he laughed smugly and pushed you up against the fridge behind, “Bet I could have you screaming my name again right now if I wanted.”

You shoved him off you hard, “Go find someone else to hit and quit. I had my turn.”

Sihtric swallowed hard and looked like he wanted to say something else, but he simply let you push past.

“Are you and Finan a thing?” he asked suddenly, shocking even himself.

“Why would it matter to you if we were?” you shot back “You clearly don’t even like me, and I certainly don’t like you,” you spat before, Sihtric cut you off by crashing his lips to yours. You felt ashamed again when all your resolve melted and you allowed him to pull you upstairs into Finan’s room, taking you up against the wall, you dug your nails onto the skin of his back as you tried to stop yourself crying out when he came undone, panting as you came down from your own release.

“Come back to mine,” Sihtric pleaded and you were snapped back to your senses.

“What? No!” you shoved him off, pulling your panties back up, and watching as his mismatched eyes flashed with confusion. You were not going to give him the opportunity to make you feel like nothing again. You stepped out of the room, not sparing him a glance as you went and took your seat beside Finan, you didn’t see Sihtric again, until he slinked out of the apartment with a girl wrapped up in his arms and you had to hide the tears that were threatening to fall, telling Finan you were just tired.  

You stopped allowing Sihtric to be the reason you didn’t go out with your new found friends every weekend. Instead you both gave each other a wide berth, feigning politeness in front of the rest of the group but not speaking to each other at all aside from keeping the peace.

But why then did every night out end with your hands wrapped up in Sihtric’s hair and his lips on yours, begging you to come back to his place with him, but you always refused.

You tried to convince yourself it was simply sex, but the more it went on the harder it was to deny that you were developing feelings for him. That’s what made it so hard. 

And when Sihtric disappeared for a few weeks, Osferth told you he had gone on a retreat, you scoffed and Osferth looked confused. You just didn’t see Sihtric as the spiritual kind, but evidently you were wrong.

You joined a dating app and pushed yourself out of your comfort zone by agreeing to go on a date. Even if it was just to try to forget about Sihtric for an hour or so.

You spent hours on your makeup and settled on a black satin dress, a baggy denim jacket and boots. You felt confident for the first time since Sihtric had knocked it significantly.

But your confidence was quickly shattered, when half an hour turned into one hour. And one hour turned into two, and your date was a no show. You went to check your messages only to find that he had unmatched you and blocked your number, and that was that.

You had been ordering drinks as you waited and now you were drunk.

“Fuck it,” you sighed grabbing your jacket and decided on walking home.

You were drunk and it was possibly the stupidest thing you had ever done, but you were alone walking streets you didn’t quite recognise after dark and it happened like lightning.

Someone tried to pull your bag off your shoulders and you attempted to fight them off, you barely registered the punch to your pace until blood began to pump from your nose, the taste of metal filling your mouth as your attacker pushed you to the ground and made off with your bag.

As you gathered yourself off the ground you attempted to give chase but he was long gone and you weren’t even confident in what direction he had gone.

You walked in shock for a few minutes, holding your nose, tears spilling down your face and then you found yourself at a familiar junction.

The welcoming light of a lobby to an apartment building that you had been in once. You chanced a look up at his balcony and were surprised to find the lights in his apartment were on. Swallowing your pride you wrapped your jacket tighter around yourself and took the elevator up to his floor.

“Y/n,” he gasped, taking in your appearance “What the hell happened?” he rushed.

But you were frozen to the spot, shock beginning to set in, as you shook.

“I’m sorry to just turn up here. I didn’t- I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Fuck,come here,” he said softly ushering you inside. He was topless, in a pair of low rise black sweats, his curly hair hanging loose around his face, damp from just showering.

“What happened,” he asked again softly and you relayed the story as you trembled.

He looked you over, blood drying on your face, but thankfully your nose didn’t seem broken and you were very, obviously drunk.

“My phone, my purse, they’re all gone,” you were beginning to freak out and Sihtric could see it.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, we’re going to sort it all out. Come here,” he subconsciously pulled you to him, rubbing soothing patterns on your back, heart falling at the feel of you trembling in his arms.

“Were you on a date?” he eventually broke the thick silence, you nodded and he tutted “What asshole would let you walk home alone in the dark after you’d been drinking?” 

You laughed dryly and his eyes shot down to look at you like you were crazy “The kind of guy that leaves you waiting for hours, only to stand you up and block you on everything. Just my luck,” you sniffed “The only two guys I’ve been with since I left my emotionally abusive ex have been even bigger dickheads.” 

Sihtric stilled, all actions and you froze “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I think maybe you should just call me a cab and I’ll go.”

Sihtric shook his head, pulling you into the bathroom and seating you on the tub, “At least let me get you cleaned up.”

He took a washcloth and gingerly wiped away the drying blood, you were surprised at how gentle he was capable of being. 

“We should block your phone so whoever has it won’t be able to use it,” you nodded, head spinning and he set about doing it all for you, he gave you his phone to call the bank so you could block your cards too. 

He went to make you tea and it was only when he was out of your space that you allowed the tears to fall, and you sat holding your head in your hands.

“What can I do?” he begged quietly as you sipped your tea, tears silently slipping down your cheeks.

“Can you take me home?” you sniffed “I feel stupid in these clothes. I think I need to sleep.” 

“You should sleep here, I’ll take you home in the morning, you’ll need to call your landlord for a set of new keys anyway.”

“I don’t want to stay here,” you suddenly panicked.

“I wouldn’t try anything tonight, not while you’re hurt,” Sihtric rushed, hurt etched across his features “I may not be a good man in your story but I can be..good,” he sighed in a small voice.

“That’s not- I know you wouldn’t-”

“-But you don’t want to stay?” 

“The last time I was here, you treated me like an asshole, Sihtric, how can I sleep wondering when you’re suddenly gonna decide to kick me out” 

“Y/n” he looked at you blinking frantically, like he was desperately trying to find the right thing to say.

“Please, just take me home,” you whispered and he was nodding furiously before he could change his mind. 

The ride back to your apartment was silent and you kept your eyes trained on the window, watching the London skyline fly by, your head spinning from the alcohol and events of the night. 

As soon as he pulled into your parking lot, you were pulling at the handle, before he had even put the car in park. 

“Y/n, wait…wait,” he grasped your hand, “I’m sorry I haven’t been the guy you want me to be. I fucking wish I could be.”

You pulled your hand out of his grasp and you couldn’t help the tears gathering in your eyes, “You know Sihtric. I could have loved you. But, you just wouldn’t let me,” you slammed the door and made your way up into your building before he could respond and before you lost all resolve completely. 

Weeks passed and you didn’t see Sihtric, nor did Osferth for that matter. He said Sihtric sometimes did this.

“It’s like he hits self destruct, he starts running around with his old friends. He goes on a bender and then he comes back when he’s worked through whatever it is he needed to get out of his system. It’s not the best way to deal with things, but hell if I’d been through the shit Sihtric has in his life I don’t even know if I’d be here anymore. It’s a shame because he is such a sweet and caring guy, he doesn’t deserve it”

You wanted to press Osferth on what he meant, but you didn’t want to seem so interested in Sihtric that it would raise suspicions. 

But it was evident that his friends were beginning to worry about him, you were worried sick but you didn’t even have his number to text him. Was it even your place to do so? 

A loud banging on your door woke you up with a start, and you began to panic, fearing someone was breaking into your apartment.

But then you heard it again, the distinct sound of knocking and someone calling your name, and you flung the door open to find Sihtric, slumped against the wall, very clearly intoxicated and upset. 

“Y/n,” he sighed, falling down at your feet, grasping your waist and leaning his full weight into you, “Please. I can’t stop thinking about you. The way you taste, the way you say my name. Please, I need you to just hear me out.”

“Sihtric,” you cried, raking your fingers through his soft curls, trying to sooth him “We’ve been  worried sick about you. I’ve been worried about you,” you decided to be honest.

“Please, y/n, I’m sick of pretending that I don’t care about you. I can’t do it. I can’t pretend that I’m not head over heels for you anymore,” the last statement slipped from his lips and he looked up at you wide eyed, fearing you would reject him.

“You’re drunk Sihtric, you don’t mean this,” you tried to sooth but hurt flashed across his face.

He suddenly rose up to his full height, cupping your face “You’re all I can think about. I thought by drinking I could forget about you. But I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve been the death of me. The death of my peace of mind.”

“You don’t mean this,” you repeated, trying to reassure yourself more than him.

“Why do you keep doing this to me? You keep denying me. Keep dismissing me.” 

“You did it first!” you threw, and he had, Sihtric had rejected you first, forced you to build these walls to try to keep him at arm’s length. He looked at you sincerely, confusion written all over his face so you continued.

“That first time, Sihtric, you couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. After you’d gotten what you wanted. You’ve always just wanted the sex you don’t want me and I’m not going to have my heart broken again by another emotionally unavailable man.”

“Don’t you get it?” he spat “You have the power to completely destroy me. You already are. I thought I could stop myself from falling if I made you leave. I thought I could drink and fuck you out of my mind but I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do it anymore. I need you.” 

He brought his forehead to rest against yours, breathing heavily, his eyes slipping closed as he held your face in his hands.

“You said you could love me if I let you. Did you mean that? Please tell me you meant it?” he begged and you nodded in his hands and he sighed in relief.

“I’m fucked up. I have so much baggage and I will probably fuck up a million times, but I want to try with you. I want to try for you.” 

“I always wanted you Sihtric,” you admitted “But this is a complete 360 and I don’t want to get burned again.” 

Sihtric didn’t know how else to convince you he was serious, so he pressed his lips against yours, Sihtric was not a man of words but he could show you with his actions.

You woke in the morning, encased in Sihtric’s arms, his grasp on you like a vice grip.

When you made to move, he refused to release his grip, snuggling further into you, but relenting when you told him you were going to make breakfast.

You watched him as he scoffed down his toast and took a big gulp of orange juice.

“Did you mean everything you said last night?” you eventually tested, breaking the silence.

“Every word,” he promised, looking right into your eyes sincerely, “I pushed you away because I was afraid to let myself fall in love with you, but all that did was hurt the two of us, and I can’t take back all the time we lost, but I promise I will try to make it up to you.” 

You considered him quietly for a moment, and he swallowed hard.

“I’m not sure how much Osferth told you about my past..but it’s not a happy one. It’s why I’m so fucked up, but it’s not a good enough excuse for the way I behaved with you. When we first met I was on a downward spiral, I had just come from the most traumatizing relationship of my life and you terrified the life out of me, all gentle and tender and looking at me like we could have been something more than just that night, and I panicked and I was cruel. ” 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered “I didn’t know,” you said softly.

“How could you love?” he sighed gently “I never even gave you a chance. But I have tried to be better for you. To be the man who deserved to be looked at the way you looked at me that night when you ran your fingers through my hair. That retreat I went on, I signed myself into a programme to try to get my drinking under control again, I had this whole plan to ask you out proper. To explain myself but when you turned up on my doorstep that night  I realised I was fucked, and the thought of you rejecting me, sent me into a spiral, and I hit the drink again.” He suddenly pulled his knee up to rest his chin on. “Fuck, I’m a lot right?” he suddenly chuckled, extending his hands out with a self deprecating shrug.

“Honestly, yes,” you laughed, examining his face, blushing when you found his eyes were already on yours. You still thought he was the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen on the planet and your breath caught in your throat.

“So where do we go from here?” you tried gently.

“C’mere?” he mumbled and you crawled your way onto his lap and he placed feather light kisses to your face.

“Will you let me date you proper? Take you out, show you off, be my girl? No more sneaking around. I want to tell Osferth and Uhtred and Finan.” You nodded, smiling as your heart began to flutter.

“You know Osferth is going to kill me don’t you?” he laughed against your skin and you laughed out loud “And I know that you’re going to have to learn to trust me, I’m not expecting it to happen overnight.”

You nodded, playing with the soft curls around the nape of his neck, and he leaned heavily into your touch.

“I want to trust you and I want to love you.”

“But?” he hummed.

“Don’t hurt me Sihtric.”

“Never again,” he promised, pressing his lips to yours.

“I fucking knew it!” Finan exclaimed, slapping Sihtric on the back.

“No you did not!” Uhtred laughed,coming to clasp hands with his friend, “I am so happy for you both,” he said honestly and Gisela came to pull you into a hug, you released Sihtric’s hand so you could squeeze her properly.

Osferth, who had been strangely quiet stepped forward, a worried frown across his brow, “I don’t know who I’m supposed to warn about not hurting the other. You are both my friends.” 

Sihtric took your hand in his again, pressing his lips to your hand, “I’m never hurting this one. I love her.” your eyes fluttered and you couldn’t help the shaky laugh that left your body with relief.

Sihtric had once said that love was the death of peace of mind, and if that was so, you were out of your own damn mind in love with that boy.

Tagging: @canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @shamrockqueen @thenameswinter99 @foxyanon @acdassenza @thatawkwardlittlefangirl

[whumpshaped]

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, psychological whump, intimate whumper, forced comfort

"Whatever is the matter with you?"

Beck shrugged a little. He still barely even looked at Helle, let alone engaged in their banter. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

They gently took him by the chin, turning his head towards them so they'd be able to look him in the eye. They didn't seem concerned, just confused and annoyed. "Is it me? Am I the problem? Are my insults and mockery getting less... gutting?"

Beck thought he might be able to sense some semblance of care behind the joking tone, but he was too exhausted to pay too much attention. "No, that's definitely not it," he said honestly. "They're... they're definitely pretty gutting. I mean, if, if we're being honest here– they make me wanna cry half the time."

The vampire let go of him and leaned back, still fixing him with a suspicious look. "Okay. So... whatever is it, then? You barely react. Our of the two of us, you seem more dead."

"I'm tired, Helle," he admitted, and averted his eyes again. "I'm sorry. That's– I think that's just it. I'm so tired of being... afraid, and hurt, and angry. I just can't do it tonight. I bet that's very frustrating, since that seems like the only reason you even keep me around in this way instead of enthralling me and whisking me away to your mansion or whatever, but I just... I can't. I can't do it every night. I'm tired."

The silence that stretched between them wasn't a necessarily uncomfortable one. It was almost peaceful, contemplative. Beck used it to simply zone out and stare at the TV in front of him — despite the fact that it wasn't even turned on, and he was just looking at his reflection. Only his. And Helle? Helle used it to think about whatever the hell vampires thought about, when they weren't thinking about blood and torture. Maybe they were thinking about blood and torture. There was no way to know.

"I do keep you around for those tasty little emotions," they said eventually. "It is quite fun to see you react to whatever I am doing. But I think..." They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer, positioning him so that he was laid across the sofa with his head in their lap. "I do not have to pull from the negative ones all the time. Especially if they are a limited resource."

Beck would've lied if he said the situation didn't scare him. He felt numb, yes, but he wasn't dead. Or emotionless. His muscles still tensed up at having to navigate unfamiliar territory, and his breathing and pulse quickened. But he couldn't react in the way Helle wanted. He didn't have the energy to protest and beg.

They began gently petting his hair, like one might do with a cat. It felt... nice. It wasn't comforting, but it was objectively pleasant, and... Helle was right. It was different, and different made him feel.

"I could make the distinction differently," they murmured. "I could simply make your days bad and worse, have your brain switching between dread and more dread."

Oh, it was a foolish question, the one on the tip of his tongue; but it was a justified one. Should he risk it? Or should he keep quiet and enjoy the break?

He was never going to learn to keep his mouth shut.

"Why don't you?" he asked quietly.

The vampire scratched his scalp with sharp nails, and Beck once again felt like he was nothing but a pet. But it was so good. It felt so nice. He couldn't help but turn his head a little, lean into the touch, and even though he managed to stifle the pleased hum that threatened to breach his aura of indifference, the way he arched his back to be able to push against Helle's hand probably told them everything they wanted to know.

They smiled sweetly. "It is an odd thing, really. Sometimes I look at your adorable little face and I want nothing more than to ruin it with tears and bruises. And sometimes... sometimes I come here with that exact intent, and yet you manage to say or do something... and I just change my mind out of nowhere. Sometimes I want to see you like this."

"Like a dog."

"Like a happy dog. Relaxed, content, lazily wagging his little tail — wagging it specifically because I scratched him behind the ears." Beck felt his face heating up at the comparison, even though it was the same one he'd made a moment ago. It was different, coming from Helle. "But it does make me wonder... How would you react if I were to take it all away?"

Beck tensed again, waiting for them to do just that. For their fingers to tighten in his hair, for the claws to draw blood. For Helle's gentle expression to turn cold and cruel. He found himself desperately hoping it was merely a hypothetical.

"There it is," they whispered. "That fear. That uncertainty. That pleading look I treasure oh so much." They continued petting him, satisfied with how he was unable to relax at all now. "A little hope and kindness goes a long way, I suppose."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump

[fitztragedy]

Ranking my own fics

I've had writers block for almost a year now so I decided to go down memory lane and re read all my Rivusa fics to see if I should go back to writing them or if the mood is officially dead. And then list/rank/rec them here in case any of you are interested in my thoughts of my own writing.

I decided to keep this list to just shippy rivusa fics that are over 6k words because otherwise it'd be a huge post.

Gonna be a long post so it's all under the cut! I'm curious to see what you guys think of them or if you agree with my order. And if you think I should go back to writing those two.

1st place: TEMPTING FATE (collab with @septemberrie)

I feel like this one is obvious. It's by far the most popular of my fics and one that I never get tired of re-reading. It was so fun to write and make the arts for and I loved working with Skye on it. I still get butterflies when I read all the comments, it truly warms my heart to know so many people loved it. We still get the odd comment here and there of people re-reading or reading for the first time and it makes my day whenever I see those. This fic not only holds a dear place in my heart because of all of this but it truly is, for me, the best written out of the list. I'm not very good with descriptions and since english is not my first language I feel like sometimes my dialogue comes across a bit stiff, but since this was a collab with Skye, she filled in where my weaknesses were lacking and the result was a masterpiece.

2nd place: THIN WALLS (collab with @theperfectrose)

It started as my first attempt at a multichap fic written by myself and soon I realised I did need help so I brought Iva in and I'm so glad! The result was something I'm super proud of and I also love re-reading it. It has around the same wordcount as Tempting Fate, and it's also a rom-com type fic, but it only has half the hits, kudos and comments, so if you liked TF and don't know this one I'd say maybe give it a shot and let me know what you think?

3rd place: TIRED OF PRETENDING (collab with @gossipqueen2000)

In all honesty I had forgotten this existed until I re-read it and I'm so shocked I forgot about it because it's so good! The start of the fic is probably the best start of any of my fics. Mo was the first stranger-I-met-online I collabed with and it was such a nice experience, she brings such a depth of emotions in the descriptions and you can really feel it reading her fics (and collabs). I'll definitely not make the mistake of forgetting about this fic again. And I'll never be fixing that one very obvious editing mistake contained in it.

4th place: TOLERABLE

I consider this to be the most underated of my fics, because I think it's super good but it has very few hits/comments/kudos comparing to others that I don't love as much. Not only I wrote it all by myself but I really loved how it turned out, the dialogue and the descriptions, the worldbuilding and setting of the story, the way Riven and Musa slowly fall for eachother in a arranged marriage situation. I meant it when I said in the notes that I poured my heart and soul into this and I am proud of it and actually finishing it and posting. I keep thinking of coming back to it, add another chapter or another fic in this same universe because I love the premise of it, but because of the lack of feedback I'm not sure if people would actually read it or what they'd be interested in reading about. So if you do read it pls lemme know!

5th place: TAKING IT SLOW

This is me, dipping my toes in whump and going out of my comfort zone and I'm so proud of myself for doing so. I loved how this came out. I know I keep saying I'm proud of myself for the fics I've written but I really am. I'm very self concious and I'm always comparing myself to others, thinking what I do isn't as good or thinking I shouldn't keep doing something because others do it better. Even if I tell myself that I shouldn't write for others and I should do it for myself and not mind if a fic gets few comments or kudos a part of me will always look for validation. But re reading this fic made me feel so good about my own writing, genuinely proud that I did it. I love this fic so much.

(Here is where I realise my top 5 fics' titles all start with T for some reason??)

6th place: AN INNOCENT TRUST EXERCISE

I always think this is a lil' one shot that I wrote and an okay one but then I realise it's over 10k and really good? lol I guess I have a habit of forgetting my own fics. It's the first "big" fic that I wrote by myself and I remember being so happy about this fact. Re reading it I feel like it could be better, the pacing is a bit off and the ending doesn't really match the tone of the fic, the smut feels like it came out of nowhere and some bits are cringy to read. But I still love it. Maybe one day I'll go over it again and make some edits.

7th place: SHARK WEEK (collab with @gossipqueen2000)

I love this fic and I know a lot of people adore this too but I feel like it isn't as good as the others, maybe because it's been so long since I wrote it. I do still re-read it from time to time (maybe sometimes during that time of the month for me).

8th place: ANY WAY YOU WANT IT

This is more like a collection of one shots than an actual fic but I do like it a lot. Is it self-indulgent? yes, a lot. It is a collection of smut after all. I feel like my specialty is writing funny smut and I have a blast writing it, inserting comedy and fluff into sexy situations even being an ace person in real life, lol. I have a couple more wips for the next chapters but writers block is a bitch.

9th place: THE LAST RESORT (Colab with @septemberrie)

I'm only putting this this far down on the list because we just posted 1 chapter but I still love it. This was mine and Skye's second attempt at a rom-com type multichap fic after the success of Tempting Fate and I feel like it could have turned out amazing too, but life got in the way and we haven't managed to get back into it. If you think we should give this another try let us know!

10th place: I CAN FEEL YOU

I really like this one, but I'm putting it here in the list because it isn't just Rivusa. It's Rivusa + Sky, PWP. More focused on Sky than Rivusa. But I do really like the emotion I managed to write in this and I am proud of stepping a bit our of my comfort zone with this.

11th place: WHY NOT

I feel like this one is too basic, bland, not a lot of effort or emotion was put into it. I mean not all fics need to be deep and whatever and this one is basically just PWP, which is fine too. But idk it feels unfinished, like a first draft. The first half has too many characters and I feel like I get overwhelmed when I have to write that many voices at once so it's basically just dialogue with no description. And then it switches gears to just Riven and Musa and smut. Feels like 2 different fics glued together.

Honorable Mentions (Rivusa fics listed on my AO3 that fit the +6k words criteria I set for this post but that don't quite fit my ranking list):

EN GARDE: I don't really consider this my fic because @septemberrie wrote the majority of it, I just came in as a final push at the end, but I absolutely love it and I'm so happy she let me dip my little fingers on it and write a bit. Definitelly a must if you love period/medieval AUs.

A LADY'S GUIDE TO FOOLS AND FORTUNES: Another one I don't consider my fic but had a part in the making. It was written by the forever-amazing @septemberrie with art/gifs I made for the Reverse Big Bang event. I adore it and am so SO proud of the gifs I made. One of my best ones for sure.

REASSURANCE and JUST FOR YOU (both collabs with @gossipqueen2000 and AmandaLovegood): Both of these were witten back in 2021 when Fate had just come out. Feels like ages ago. I'm putting them here because I feel like they have more Mo and Amanda than Val to be honest, I don't really remember writing them or the process of it but I really like them a lot. Again Mo has this way of writing emotion and feelings and you can just tell it was her. It feels real and raw and so good to read, whump in the best way.

[bigfan-fanfic]

Yellow Light, Blue Light (Male!Reader x Connor DBH)

so, there's barely any connor (dbh) content, so what abt an scenario where connor waits for his boyfriend to come for work and they both live with hank and sumo? i mean like since connor started to feel love he gets so excited when seeing his boyfriend coming back with new things to show him and the three of them + sumo eat dinner together like a family (it sounds so wholesome 😭💞)

Nobody would ever be able to make him admit it, but Hank would've been lonely without Connor around.

So at the terse point where Markus' revolution created a new way of life in Detroit and across the United States, Hank very casually offers that Connor stay with him.

Their relationship often fluctuates confusingly, as Hank sometimes does feel like he takes on a fatherly role to Connor, especially in dealing with emotions now that he's accepted that he's a living being

But then they become more mentor and protegee at times, and then there's the most often state where they're very close friends and the one of the only men robots people Hank currently feels okay with hugging.

Yeah, the bucket of bolts is a hugger and now that Hank can't pretend androids aren't alive anymore he doesn't have the heart to push Connor away when the man hugs him.

It's also a little confusing for Hank because Connor doesn't particularly mind whatever terminology he uses, while other androids with their new autonomy still argue about whether "man/woman" or "human beings" are desirable and acceptable terms or microaggression or outright hate speech in reference to them.

In any case, it comes as a surprise to Hank when things go back to his comfort zone and Connor asks him about very familiar emotions.

It's immediately clear to Hank that Connor is experiencing love for the first time, and when Connor asks if he might need repairs (despite several diagnostics coming up with no problem), Hank practically needs to go to the hospital for a collapsed lung from laughing so hard.

Hank doesn't quite understand what a human-android relationship would entail - he still hasn't had the courage to ask if Connor's like a Ken doll down there, and he doesn't know he really wants to know.

But Connor seems fulfilled, and happy. In his weird analytical Connor way. And it makes Hank happy, in his own grumpy way, that Connor keeps asking him for advice, for help.

Hank isn't really sure how it ended up that Connor's boyfriend started living with them, but honestly he doesn't really mind. It's... nice to have another human in the house, and to feel the house being alive.

And to have someone else to walk Sumo when he feels lazy.

It's also kind of adorable to see Connor on the back foot scrambling around to make food for when his boyfriend gets home from work on their anniversary of moving in together.

"Connor. Con- Con! You don't need to measure the salt out to a grain. Jesus, Connor, don't give me the puppy eyes - I'll back off. Just... calm down a little."

He's a little surprised when he opens the door (Connor's dealing with the food) and you hug him. He's even more surprised that he doesn't mind.

Hank always gets a kick out of seeing just how much Sumo gets excited when Connor's boyfriend gets home - almost as excited as Connor does.

Connor acts all casual about making dinner, letting you unwind and relax and pretending like he wasn't just measuring every ingredient out to the gram.

Hank good-naturedly ribs you both about being so affectionate, playfully accusing you two of practically sitting in each other's laps at the dinner table.

Connor smirks - full on smirks and just says "Well, Hank, since I don't need to eat, shouldn't I have something to do with my hands?" and Hank chokes on his food and laughs and bares his teeth in a grin as he calls Connor a sick little bastard and it's mean words but the intent is fun and you all laugh together.

It's interesting - Hank notices how Connor sometimes acts more 'human', and sometimes doesn't do those mannerisms programmed into him by Cyberlife, like imitating breathing or blinking. It makes Hank a little proud, even more than the uneasiness. It doesn't make him less of a person, just... different.

And seeing you love him anyway. Hell, seeing Connor love you back, clearly and obviously - Hank can't help but smile and needs to listen to some metal in order to get his head back on track.

Besides, Connor's boyfriend is a pretty cool guy - he's helpful even if Connor generally insists on doing the chores because he doesn't need to sleep, and he even likes to introduce things to Hank as well as Connor.

They feel like a family. A weird, silly, neurotic family, but family all the same.

[fangirlies]

on a high - (a.p)

Pairing: ajax petropolus x fem!reader

Request: what do you think abt reader confessing her feelings to him and theyre reciprocated!

Warnings: drugs. a little groping. best friends to lovers. (Please let me know if I should be aware of anything else!)

A.N: it’s been a while fangirlies! this one wasn’t planned at all (hence why it’s not on my updates) it goes to show how much my brain loves to focus on many things at once. Anyway, enjoy this ajax fluff.

“This was such a bad idea”

“Will you shut up and stop being a wimp for once,”

Ajax took a look around the deserted, dark library. He was obviously becoming paranoid after the joint you two had smoked. He was aware that the repercussions would be severe if the two of you were found in here high and after curfew. On the other end, it was as if you were on cloud nine. You were pleased that your cunning plan to lure Ajax out of his dorm room was successful. That said, your friendship with ajax simply thrived for that very reason. He was always being pushed out of his comfort zone by you; sometimes it required a bit more effort than anticipated, but the experiences you two shared were unquestionably worthwhile. In exchange, he would provide the tiny ziplock bags with weed that would make your adventures even more enjoyable.

“Isn't this nice, Jax? A quiet library all to ourselves where no one can disturb us?” Your hands extended out as you twirled in the space free of tables and bookshelves.

Your best friend laughed at your movements, "Sounds like you're trying to seduce me." He moved toward your spinning body, his anxieties visibly fading.

“Is it working?” You teased, coming to a stop in front of him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you gazed into his warm brown eyes.

It sent chills down your back when Ajax whispered, "Maybe." The two of you frequently made jokes and flirtatious remarks were tossed either way. This one, though, felt different.

The two of you locked eyes for a split second, trying frantically to read the situation. Fearing that taking the action both of you were itching to scratch would damage a friendship that had developed over the years. But as soon as he shifted his attention to your lips, you took a chance that you hoped you wouldn't have to pay for when you sobered up and pressed your lips onto his. You could tell that he was afraid to take it too far when his hands settled on your lower back. His snakes were heard hissing under his beanie as you two shared a slow and passionate kiss. It seemed as though he had been longing to taste you for a while but never gathered the confidence. Both of your tongues were circling about in each other's mouths before you gained the courage to pull away from his kiss, which was only getting more intense by the second. You couldn't look at him, your forehead resting on his chest as if you were afraid to do so.

“Jax. . .” You spoke, trying to steady your breathing.

He was only able to reply with a low "hmm." He was once more filled with anxiety as he awaited your upcoming words.

Your eyes were now meeting his, and you wish you could read his thoughts right now. "I want you to be more than just my best friend," you say. It had been a couple of years of feeling this way but you were afraid that if your feelings weren’t reciprocated, your friendship wouldn’t be the same.

Each second that he didn’t answer felt like an eternity. You could start to feel your heart drop down to your stomach as he scanned your face and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Are you just saying that because you want free weed?”

You scoffed before you burst out laughing.

“Maybe,”

Your back pockets were reached for by Ajax as he rolled his eyes at your response and drew you closer to his chest. It caught you off guard because he's never caressed your ass before.

"That's a bold move," he said as he leaned down to place a sweet peck on your lips—snakes dancing around his beanie in pure bliss at this point—"and just so you know, I was kinda hoping you'd say that."

A.N: feedback always welcomed! it’s my first time writing for jax, so be nice.

For the bestie that sent in this request— I hope it was more or less what you had in mind! thank you for requesting 🤍🦋🪴🧚🏼‍♀️

requests are closed at the moment however— inbox is always open! Share your thoughts! Talk to me! Get something off your mind! ✨

[rearranged-fanfic]

Update (8/26) and A Question to You All

First order of business! Oof, babes. I got jump scared 😅

Friendly reminder to all my A03 homies out there that story bookmarks aren't private by default. You have to check the tiny box on the bottom that marks it as "private", otherwise all your dirty laundry is aired out to the world.

Needless to say, I uhhhh... I offended somebody. They were big mad at my story. Very incensed. I apologize for my poor conduct as an author for the grief I have cause the world at large 🙏🏻

Also, I'm apparently an untrustworthy author and that's funny to me 🥴🫠

I'm not even upset. I'm just a nice little blend of bemused and amused (which are two separate things entirely, though they often get treated as synonyms).

Alright, moving on...

I'm finishing Seaside this weekend. It's almost done. Well, more like halfway. But I can bust out a few thousand more words in *checks watch* four days' time. It's practically a done deal. I'm not at all setting myself up for failure with this strict time constraint.

No siree.

I anticipate having REARRANGED updated by NEXT Friday/Saturday, not this upcoming one. Whether this comes to fruition or not depends entirely on my ability to buckle down and NOT get distracted by my ADHD. I make no solid promises because I'm a disaster person.

The next item on my agenda is Crimson Chapter 3. I've bumped up the chapter count because there was so, so much tsundere!Suguru interacting with Reader-chan that I didn't have the willpower to cut any of it. We now have 4 chapters of our Vampire Knight/JJK fusion AU.... I'm a simp for mean guys, what can I say?

Then another REARRANGED the next week, and the end of Crimson the week after that.

I'm a busy bee this month. But I have so much to catch up on.

Once I finish my two smaller WIPs, I have a maddening desire to break out of the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom for a few smaller side projects while writing REARRANGED. I'm leery, given that JJK is where my main audience is. I wouldn't want to alienate any of my regular readers. I'd still probably do CanonXReader fics because they soothe my self-indulgent needs. But, man, I want to dabble in other fandoms so baaaad.

So, my question to those of you who keep up with my works, are there any characters from this list that you'd like to see more of in the future?

(Keep in mind that this is the distant future. Not until I complete the second arc of REARRANGED at least.)

(*) indicates that this is a fav of mine or I already have an outline/WIP of this character in my documents folder.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (anime/manga)

Rengoku Kyojuro* Douma Akaza

Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (anime/manga)

Hawks/Takami Keigo* Aizawa Shota Togata Mirio* Amajiki Tamaki Kirishima Eijiro

Naruto (anime/manga)

Uchiha Shusui* Uchiha Obito Hatake Kakashi* Shiranui Genma

Final Fantasy XV (videogame)

Prompto Argentum* Cor Leonis Nyx Ulric

Any of those look promising? IDK. It might be fun to write for an even smaller fandom, too. Maybe one of my old fandoms that are near-dead? I like getting out of my comfort zone (sometimes).

Well, I think that's it for this update.

Peace out, my lovelies 🥰😘

[heymrspatel]

✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨

i was tagged by @jrooc @stocious @michellemisfit @thepupperino @doshiart @sgtmickeyslaughter @gallapiech @blue-disco-lights @mmmichyyy @lingy910y @pookiebearmick @gallawitchxx @energievie and @gardenerian thank you lovelies!

Name and A03 handle: julissa | heymrspatel

Current Location: on my couch, slowly melting into the cushions. i'm so tired.

Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? these two for sure! i think they capture my vibe well lol one & two

What's one thing you want in a picrew? ah! well, since i often start them i have a list of things that i usually look for to make sure that they're inclusive. sometimes i forget to check for certain things and then i'm annoyed lmao.

but ideally: big selection of skin tones, undercuts, the option for tied hair, short haircuts, different types of hair textures and colors, facial hair, scars, and big big ups if there's an option to change face shapes! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!

for me though: curly hair and big blushy (and fangs if available)

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? oh this is hard. i'll say, fluffy art: "doesn't matter where we go man", spicy art: "i need you to touch me"

Why is it your favourite? fluffy: because i went crazy with the details. i love that it tells a story. i love the colors i used. i love that pane of them watching the sunset. i love hands - hand on thigh, hand kiss, hand under shirt.

spicy: so. much. skin. i love all the positions i put them in. i love how it's sensual and teasing but you can't really see any of the "action" haha. tongues and chain and bruising. i love hands - hand in mouth, hand on neck, hand in hair.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? HARD! lmao everything i make is hard to me. some things come easier now, but i really do drag my limp body all the way to the end.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? "keep you by my side" by biblionerd07!

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? ...things beyond mistake. i'm glad most of us are on the same painful page.

Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? i love friends/fwb to lovers and slice of life and outsider povs! also, only one bed or when they get stuck somewhere alone. ooooooh and i LOVE a good texting fic!

Least favourite? eeeh very iffy on the kid fics, depends on the writer. or mpreg. or big deaths.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? idk that anything's a secret? i'm out here giving you guys full visuals during kinktober...

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? ah- very vulnerable. accomplished but nervous. i literally post and run away.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: i usually keep whatever i'm working on under wraps for no reason other than i'm self conscious! but @whatthebodygraspsnot always cheers me on and is the most supportive and sends me the most eloquent keyboard smashes to keep a girl going!

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? scroll through tumblr and, when my brain is cooperating on reading (it hasn't been), turn to my comfort fics!

i'm skipping the tag cause i'm late and i'm feeling weird! but i hope everyone's having a nice night/day/time zone!! 💙