#it's true taylor constantly embarrasses me

[swiftiewillwrite]

how you get the girl

jason todd x reader

fanart by @twalxx (found on pinterest)

pairing - jason todd x reader

warnings - smut! starts angsty, fluff and smut later :))

a/n - this is my first smut, but i had like all of my friends proof read so im super excited to share this with yall! songfic based on how you get the girl by taylor swift (and a bit of i wish you would)

Things had ended with Jason, but it hadn't had the desired effect.

It was just too painful when you were together, the not knowing. Not knowing if he was safe every night. Not knowing if you were safe. You were scared constantly, just never knowing. All you wanted was for him to be safe.

—

You realized you couldn't do it anymore when he went no contact for two days.

You had thought he was dead. You were pacing your townhouse nonstop, music following suit. Trying to drown out the silence and your thoughts. You plopped onto the couch, picturing every other time this had happened in your mind. The pain you felt every night, that worsened every time another hour went by. So you made your decision.

When he finally came home that night, ready to run into your arms, you closed them. and you fought. The front door opened and shut and all the built-up anger from two years of sleepless nights and not letting yourself be selfish flooded out of you.

“What the hell, Jason? Are you okay? I thought you were dead, you asshole!”

The tone in your voice shocked him, you could see it in his eyes. “What?”

Your tears were threatening to spill from your already red eyes, but you didn't let that stop you. You pressed the back of your hand to your cheek. “I'm sorry, it's just-, I can't do this! Every week, I have to grapple with the fact that you could be dead! And what if you were? You can't come back every time you die, you know that!”

“What- what do you want me to do? There are always going to be people getting hurt, you know that.”

“Exactly. And I will never come first. You’re just too fucking good a person, Jason. you never let yourself be selfish! I wanted you to put us first.” You look at him; “Just go.”

“Is this for real?” And now tears were welling up in his eyes. “This was all so fast.”

“This was the opposite of fast. I just tried not to see it. Because I love you so, so, much Jason, that's why I can't do this. Just- send one of your siblings to get your stuff tomorrow.”

He pauses. “Okay, Doll, if this is what you want, I will go.”

“Don't call me that, you're gonna make this too hard,” You hear yourself let out an embarrassing snort through your snot and tears.

“Then can I kiss you goodbye, instead?”

Already sobbing, you nod.

—

And now you can't get him out of your head. It's been six months, and he won’t get out. Every time you see lights through your window coming from the street, you think maybe. Maybe he came home to you.

And you just hope that when he's out every night, saving more damsels, he thinks about your home in the center of the city.

Every night you prayed that he would come back. And say that he wants you, no matter what. Even if it was you who broke his heart, because you also broke your own. You wished for it like it was the only thing that kept you going, because it was.

But you never really believed your wish would come true. You had already burnt that bridge. And in doing so, burned away your past. Your friendships with the Waynes, every late night spent tending wounds.

2 A.M. another late night, doing anything you could to get your mind off of him. Especially tonight. The twenty-seventh of April. For the past two years, on this day, Jason had been in your bed. You held him, and told him he was safe. Safe from what happened to him on this day, years before you were able to take care of him. Your bed was empty, and it killed you to know he was probably in his own, having the nightmares you worked so hard to keep him safe from.

2 A.M. A rough and fast knock against your front door cuts through the sound of the pouring rain, and you find yourself looking through the peephole of your townhouse. Eye level with you is Jason Todd, curly hair soaked. You could see his breath in the cold, and how little his unzipped leather jacket was doing to keep him warm. You pull the door open.

“Are you insane?”

“I know, I just- I need you. Sweetheart, I need you back. God, it's been a long six months. I know, I fucked you up, i fucked us up, and that is reason enough for you to slam the door in my face, but..” he trailed off and made eye contact with you; “I will make it up to you. I just need you tonight. You know what tonight is, I know that you didn't forget,” He was pleading, eyebrows furrowed and tears welling in his eyes. “I can't get through tonight without you,”

And before you can process it, you're leaning in and your lips are on his again, and it feels like home. They're soft against you and feel the same as they did the last time you touched six months ago, if just more desperate. He wraps his arms around your back, embracing you tightly. You pull away for a quick second just to say: “Come in, stay the night. I missed you too. We can talk this through in the morning.”

He enters the home that had missed him so much, and you close the door behind him as fast as you can. He dives back for your lips, like a man who had been lost in the desert finally getting water. It was passionate, and for a moment made you forget that you had waited for so long. It just felt like before, and for the meantime would put a band-aid over the months of pain. You kissed him through the hallway, pushing him back to your room, and somewhere along the way, he lost his jacket. When you got to the bedroom, you shoved him against the door, biting his lips and letting yourself absolutely lose control on his mouth. When you pulled away, you could see that it was swollen and redder than when you had started.

You slowly moved down his neck, starting with a hickey on his jaw in a spot that you knew was his favorite place. He breathed out your name, giving you motivation to move down and kiss his adams apple. “Jesus, doll,”

You spread out, leaving marks all over his neck. The closer you got to his collarbone, the more vocal he was, letting out a dozen sickly-sweet nicknames for you. You start to make another bruise on his neck, but he squeaks out a “stop,”

You pull back. “Is something wrong?” for a moment fear creeps into your mind, and you remember. You haven't seen him in months, what if this is too much? This is the anniversary of his death, for god's sake-

“Can we move to the bed?”

Oh.

“Yeah, if you're ready-” you cut yourself off when Jay removes his shirt as youre speaking, revealing a tapestry of scars. A breath catches in your throat. Shit, you had almost forgotten how good he looks shirtless. Almost. “Yeah, okay,” You follow suit, pulling your shirt over your head and fumbling at your bra hooks.

You both stumble down the hallway, when you sit on the bed, back against the headboard. Jason looks at you like you're his last meal, and sits in between your legs, hands already reaching for your breasts.

Almost immediately, his fingers are tugging at your nipples and his lips are suckling at them. you squeal each time he bites at your nipples and he's moving back and forth between each like he can't choose his favorite, and humming nicknames for you every time he stops to breathe. After a couple minutes of sweet bliss, you put your hand in his still damp curls and push him off of you.

“Jay, I think you need some attention too.” you put his hand on his chest and push him down so he's lying on his back. You struggled with yanking his jeans down his legs as they were still wet with rainwater, but you managed. He starts: -wait, I didn't even get to- When you get down his boxers, his erection springing free, and he gasps, cutting himself off at the sensation of the cold air hitting him.

You settle in between his legs, wrapping a hand around him. Your thumb finds his tip and spreads his precum over his length, lubricating it for your hand to move. This elicits a reaction from him. “Jesus sweetheart, you never stop,”

You're confused. “Stop what?” you ask, pressing a kiss to his tip. He grunts.

“Making my heart pound out o’ my fucking chest, Doll,” He puts a hand on your cheek. “Never - fuck - stop.” you tighten your grip on his cock halfway through this phrase.

This makes you smile profusely, and to mask the grin, you open your mouth and fill it with the familiar feeling of Jason's member. He nearly howls in response, a string of profanities falling out of his mouth.

You look up at him with eyes you know he loves, and you hollow out your cheeks to - just for a second - suck harder. After this, you run your tongue along his base and pull off of him with a pop.

“Wait no- why- why did you stop? Baby, why did you stop?” Jason starts to whine, a sound you would never forget in your life, and you giggle.

“Relax,” you smile as you move to sit on top of him. You pull your shorts off, taking the panties with them. “I just want to ride you,”

“You're ready? Doll, I didn't even touch you, are you sure it won't hurt- ohmygod!”

You had started to lower yourself onto Jason's cock as he spoke, enjoying the way he was extra vocal when he didn't expect it. You leaned down to kiss him, and it was softer this time. Sweeter, romantic. Loving, not just lustful. And you can feel it, the affection for you that he had never lost. You pull away, your breathing fast and heavy, to say:

“I still love you,”

“I love you too,”

And just like that, it feels normal again. No time has passed and you got through another year together, trying to make what had once been the worst night in his life liveable. You laugh as you continue to lower yourself onto him, but the sound is garbled through a moan.

“What?” he asks, voice gruff from the pleasure.

“Nothing, it just did hurt a little, you were right.” Your eyes are sparkling, and your smile is somehow more beautiful than he remembered.

Jason smiled at you from his place on the bed, starstruck by you, and reached his arm between your legs to rub at your clit. You let out a whine that made you feel pathetic, but Jay reached behind your back to hold your chest against him, letting your bodies line up in an embrace that you were unsure if he knew was reassuring, or was just doing it to be closer to you. Either way, you were glad for the contact, and the feeling of his arm pressed between yours and his chest.

Jason's grin glinted in the warm lighting of your bedroom. You're reminded of a chip in one of his front teeth that you find all too endearing before he speaks. “Can you move, baby?” He punctuates this with pressing a circle against your clit. He smiles wider when you arch your back, pressing your tits harder onto him. You take a moment to regain words, but respond after a moment.

“Yeah,” you responded breathily, returning his smile. You lift your hips up and slowly lower yourself back down. Jason groans loudly, something that resembles your name falling from his mouth. Something snaps inside of you at the noise you had missed so much, and the next time you pull up, you slam yourself down on him.

“Holy fucking shit! Sweetheart, don't you need to take it sl- oh my god, oh my god, you're so perfect,” you continue this pattern, speeding up when he rubs your clit in that perfect way he would never forget.

You continue, sick slapping sounds filling the room. The muscles in your thighs and lower back are sore, and you start to slow down, sitting up so you're no longer lying on him. “ ‘M sorry Jaybird, I just - haven't done this in a while.” You look at your lover apologetically, but he doesn't speak a word back. All Jason does is grab your waist, looking into your eyes for a nod before he takes control.

He pumps up into you, hips lifting off the mattress and pushing deeper into you. You let out a pleasured scream, putting your hands on Jason's pecs, rolling a nipple in between your fingers absentmindedly. His thrusting speeds up when you start doing this. “Jason- Jesus Christ, so good.”

“Yeah? I know baby, I know it feels good,” another of his moans interrupts his sentence, but he continues- “You make me feel good too. So good.”

Somehow his thrusts get more rushed, pushing deeper into you. You let out a pitiful scream when he presses against your cervix, pain mixing into pleasure at the feeling of him bruising you. Jason hears you, and you can feel his cock twitch inside of you. You can tell he's close. “Baby, I'm gonna- where do you want it?” He whines, and your walls tighten at the sight of his eyes pleading with yours.

“Inside.”

“Baby, are you sure-”

“Please, Jason. Pill,” You start to beg, even though he hadn't asked for you to. “I need it. Need you. Missed you so much. Please!”

During your last word, you feel him release into you. Jason's hips sputter as he lets out another slightly pained moan. He lets his cock sit inside you for a moment, before he pulls himself out, his still hard cock sitting against his stomach. “Baby, get off. Let me make you cum. Let me clean you off.”

You blush at his words, as if you haven't fucked him a million times, nodding as you move off and onto the mattress. Jason repositions so you can rest your head on a pillow, pulling another to rest under your ass and lift you up.

Once you've settled as quickly as possible, Jason puts his face right against your pussy, admiring the way his cum mixes with your juices, spilling out of you. He starts with licking a stripe up your slit, and the image of his cum on his own tongue will never leave your brain, and causes your walls to tighten before he even puts a finger inside. He swallows, and goes back to licking into your hole, one hand absentmindedly rolling your clit in between his fingers as the other one squeezes your thigh. He moves them down from your clit to press into your hole, mouth instead focusing on your clit.

“Fuck, Jason!” He looks up at you, puppy dog eyes somehow turning you on more than you already were. He holds eye contact with you as he presses a third finger into you, curving to press against your sweet spot. You tangle a hand into his damp curls, pressing him onto your cunt.

Your walls tighten around his fingers, and he puts all of his effort into sucking and lapping at your clit. He hums on the bud, sending vibrations through your core. When you approach the edge, he starts licking at it instead, flicking the muscle back and forth. He talks into your pussy, praises for you being drowned in the flesh.

He lifts his head up for a gasping breath, still moving his fingers inside of you and quickly muttering: “Cum for me,” before diving back in. You listened, one last touch of your clit sending you over the edge. As you cum, Jason laps up the liquid that had leaked out of you over the night, flattening his tongue against your skin as he collects the last he can without a towel.

You shudder as he sits up, leaning forward to press a kiss onto your stomach before getting up from the bed. A moment of panic comes over you before-

“Are your washcloths still in the same place?” He asks softly. You nod at him, feeling too fucked out to speak, and watch him leave your bedroom.

After 30 seconds, he returns with a damp washcloth, and settles back in between your legs to wipe off your legs, pressing kisses on your inner thighs. As he moves up to your overstimulated cunt, he reaches for your hand. When the cloth passes over your sensitive spots, you squeeze his hand. After a few minutes of tender silence, he returns to your side, head on the pillow next to you.

“Hey.” He smiles.

“Hi,” you giggle back. After a brief pause, you continue: “I'm sorry. I was inconsiderate. When we broke up. I know what you do is important, and people need you-”

You're cut off by a kiss. “No. I needed to communicate more. And either way, it doesn't matter.” You quirk an eyebrow at him, “This is a fresh start,” he takes a breath in. “But really, I love you so much.”

You giggle, which seems to confuse him. Through your laugh, you attempt to speak- “Would you say- most ardently?” He rolls his eyes at the reference to his favorite book, but still leans in to press a peck to your lips.

“I love you most ardently,” he smiles at you.

“Good.”

[herlondonboy]

Oh, My, Love Is A Lie

pairings: Taylor Swift x gn!reader / Taylor Swift x Joe Alwyn

summary: The one where Taylor falls out of love with you and in love with her PR boyfriend.

warnings: PR relationships, lmk what else. Is it weird that it’s Joe? idk. No way in hell am I writing about yk who though

word count: 0.9k

You were at home again.

At home alone whilst Taylor was off gallivanting with Joe. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Joe, he was nice and shared a few qualities of your own, it was that he was going on dates with your girlfriend. The part that probably pissed you off the most was the fact that when Taylor’s team had suggested a fake boyfriend to divert everyone’s attention from the two of you she agreed instantaneously.

You knew she wasn’t embarrassed by you per se, but the fact that she had already made up her mind on the matter before she spoke to you about it hurt.

Four years together were ruined by a photo of a kiss on the cheek that Taylor blamed herself for. She had let her guard down and loved you in public and now you were both paying the price.

The soft hum of the television was the only sound apart from your rapid beating. You stared down at the velvet box in betrayal before opening your phone to the messages from the night before, double-checking the time you had agreed on.

You: Are we still on to celebrate tomorrow?

Taylor: Yes, of course!! 10 pm, right?

You: Yep. See you then, I love you!

Taylor: Love you

You looked at the clock on your phone and sniffled, 00:13. It wasn’t even your anniversary anymore. A sigh sounded and you stood to go to the dining room. The dinner you had made Taylor was still on the table so you moved it to the oven just in case she got home and was hungry.

Next, you made haste with removing the wax that had melted onto the table. They Taylor’s favourite scent and you sniffled in remembrance before tossing them into the bin.

The television was still on as you found the bedroom. Plastic rose petals littered the floor in a way that looked random, but was anything else. You wondered if she’d even notice if you left before she got back. Probably not. You put the petals back into the bag that they came in and chucked them on the bed before walking over to the wardrobe.

You didn’t blame Taylor. You were nobody and Joe was somebody. Okay, maybe you did blame her a little bit. But she had fallen in love with someone who didn’t even love her back whilst the person that did love her watched from their home.

Four years gone. And for what? She let her insecurities get the better and now you were insecure. Constantly blaming yourself for being the reason she latched onto Joe. Had you seen the cameras sooner, she wouldn’t have kissed your cheek and she wouldn’t have needed the PR relationship in the first place.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door creaking open and a small curse followed by skin slapping against the floor, “y/n, baby, are you awake?” She called out and you walked back into the lounge, frowning when she grinned at the sight of you. Taylor saw your look and pouted, walking over to you, “I’m sorry that I missed our date. I just got a little carried away at the studio.”

“It wasn’t a date,” You said softly, looking up at her, “And I wish that was true, but photos of you and Joe leaving the studio were published hours ago.”

Taylor tried to think of a response before just looking down guiltily. At least she still felt enough for you to feel bad, right?

“It was our anniversary,” You continued, a lump forming in your throat. “And I tricked myself into thinking that you wouldn’t stand me up for Joe on a day as special as this, but I was so wrong.”

“Y/n,” Taylor murmured, “I’m sorry. I lost track of time, but I can make it up to you. I promise, just let me try.”

You let out a shaky breath and looked down at the coffee table. Taylor followed your line of sight and gasped, covering her mouth. Picking it up, you held it out to Taylor, who took it regretfully.

“I love you, Taylor, and I always will, but I can’t be with someone that doesn’t love me back anymore. The way you look at Joe now is the way you used to look at me,” You explained. “And I wondered if you actually got here on time and we celebrated our anniversary would you have said yes?”

The look on her face said all. She knew she was falling out of love with you, too.

“Don’t worry,” You said, knowing that you didn’t want her to feel even worse, “I wouldn’t marry me either.”

“Y/n, that’s not-“ Taylor stammered, “I would- I would marry you. I just… I didn’t mean to.”

Sniffling, you nodded. People don’t control who they fall in love with, unfortunately. If they could, you wouldn’t be blaming yourself. A weak smile graced your lips and you leaned forward to hug the blonde, “I love you, Tay, and I want you to be happy. If that means Joe, then so be it. I’m sure, I’m sure he does love you back. You’re hard not to love.”

“I’m sorry,” Taylor whispered, “I really did love you.”

Can’t you see that your words are hurting me? You wanted to scream at her. She was trying to comfort you and was failing miserably.

[jockfootstories]

A true experience from junior high thru high school under my friends smelly feet.  Some of my best foot experiences were at the mercy of my friends, brother. They’d spend the night a lot and my friend’s brother Taylor, would constantly just tease me or push me around. Nothing mean but just try to annoy me. If I was on the floor, he’d step on me or flat out trample me. The one thing he did the most, which became kind’ve a routine whenever they’d be over, is trying to smother my face with his feet, forcing me to smell their odor,  when we’d watch movies. My parents had one of those L wrap-around couches. My friend would be at the long end, I’d be sitting or laying at the adjoining section, and Taylor at the short end. He’d eventually lay back as well and casually bring one stinky, socked foot (or both)  and rest it on top of my chest. Being a teen his feet were always smelly, like he wore the same socks for days. Anyway, his foot or feet would be resting on my chest and I would slowly just start pushing them away. I didn’t want to let on that I was into feet so I’d always pretend to hate it… although Taylor pretty much caught onto it. He’d continue placing them  on my chest and I’d soon begin kind’ve wrestling with them. The Bottom of his socked feet would brush against my face and I’d slightly groan from the smell which would always instigate him to fully push them in my face. The bottoms of his socked feet pushing against my nose and hearing him teasingly say,”You know you wanna smell ‘em.”  We’d go back and forth for about 10 or so minutes and I’d eventually yank his socks off, wrestle his bare feet for a bit longer, then ultimately give up. By then I was completely worn out from fighting his bare feet as well as the odor of them totally getting me light headed. He could see me tiring out.  I’d push his feet back onto my chest, sometimes admitting defeat or just dropping my hands down.  He’d usually still be watching the tv as he’d casually slide one barefoot blindly over, him not done torturing me, and push it up against my entire face. I’d lay there inhaling his dry, cheesy, foot odor, getting more lightheaded and rock hard below. Minutes would go by and he’d bring his other bare foot over, covering my face completely for a little bit before commencing to rub the bottoms on my nose. I’d see nothing but his soles as I laid there breathing them in. He’d bring one pair of toes down and start rubbing my nose with them. I’d end up taking deep sniffs, his foot odor much stronger, and sometimes moving my face away like I was trying to escape. He’d continue to keep my face under his feet, till I’d just lay there motionless. He’s eventually glance over at me, not struggling, and ask cockily,”You like the foot smell?” Feeling a little embarrassed, I’d move my face again, trying to get out from under them. He’d tease my nose some more then smother me in darkness under both of them, making sure I couldn’t breathe anything but the bottoms of his soles and under his toes. He’d usually add a cockily statement while keeping my face buried like,”Yah, you like that smell huh footboy. Just lay there and sniff ‘em.”  I’d lay there for awhile, breathing them in, eventually pushing them off cause I didn’t want my friend to really notice. But every time they’d be over, he’d rub his stinky feet longer and longer in my face. Always verbally teasing me with,” ”Smell my feet, sniff ‘em!”  I think he enjoyed teasing me with them or the power it gave over him. My face was his foot wipe all through high school in which his feet got to size 13’s. I’d usually be on the couch or the few occasions on the floor as his footrest but the times I’d just submit and let him overpower me with his stinky feet were the best memories. 

[hozaloza]

What is this weird fanfic war going on, y'all this is so--

"Please Remember"

They had great times. Amazing moments. A friendship he never thought he would have. Never. Ever since he moved to Georgia, everything was just perfect. An unlikely friendship formed because of a group project, an unlikely bond formed because of this trip, an unlikely romance began to bloom because of this moment.

But, good things don’t always last.

Ben had gotten better with his emotions, feeling much calmer than ever. His uncle and aunt asked if it was possible that he wanted to go back with his parents. Ben felt excited, he really did miss his parents and little sister. But…that meant he had to leave behind his friends. It was a hard decision, but he decided to go back. They hung out in the graveyard one more time, staying up past 12  to bid him farewell.

“I’m going to be honest, it was nice having Ben around with me. He was like a brother to me, I’m gonna miss you bud.” Aiden stated, placing his hand on his shoulder. The tall boy smiled at his cousin, bringing him in for a hug. The group laughed as they kept playing games and eating snacks; even Ashlyn was having a good time. It was nice seeing each person be a whole new being from when he first met them, and yet still kept certain personality traits within them. 

Finally, the night came to an end, and they all went back inside Ashlyn’s house for one more sleepover. Ben laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t bear leaving them; he had known them for 2 years now. But he was missing home more than ever at this point, it had to be done. 

“...It’s too bad we don’t get to graduate all together.” Taylor stated out of the blue.

“You’re still awake? I thought you would be the first to black-out.” Aiden stated, immediately sitting up.

“Meh, can’t really sleep.” “...You’re also sad about Ben leaving, huh?” Aiden asked the brunette. She stayed silent for a moment, letting the silence set in. Then, she turned to face him, and there were tears in her eyes. The tall boy sat up to sign if she was alright, but he suddenly got bear hugged by her. He stiffened as she sobbed in his arms, but soon after calming down, wrapping his arms around her.

“...I don’t want you to leave…” she softly sobbed, clenching his shirt. Ben patted her back to comfort her, looking up to see that the others had gotten up. It was embarrassing to admit, but everyone didn’t want him to leave. Their friendship was extremely strong, it was going to be hard to let go. No words needed to be spoken at that moment, they just got up and hugged Ben. It was silent and long; they needed to make it last as long as they could, in case this was their last ever group hug.

...

Who knew that turned out to be true…

`

`

`

Years passed, Ben had just turned 23 recently. Five or so years have passed since he last moved back to his bio family. He was able to connect with new people, continue his path with the guitar, and overall fit right back in. He tried texting his old friends everyday, but he was getting more and more busy with his own life; it was something he feared he would do, but he slowly stopped talking in the group chat. His connections with Aiden and Ashlyn still remained, so he constantly knew what they were doing, but not the rest…

“[College is alright so far, some of my friends are even sharing a dorm with me!]” Ben typed on his text to speech, smiling at his parents.

“Well that’s wonderful Benny! We’re just happy you finally found something to love as equally as singing.” His dad spoke, grunting as he got pushed.

“Psh, please! You would’ve been better as a cook! Right pops!” Lily spoke. Ben rolled his eyes as he watched his dad and her play push each other off camera while his mom chuckled at them.

“Ugh, these two never stop fooling around, why did my normal baby have to leave me alone with these knuckleheads?” “Hey! I am a normal child! Ben’s always using that text to speech feature like he’s some lizard person! He knows how to sign, he’s just trying to mind control us into following his lizard leader!!” Lily argued off screen. 

“[If I’m a lizard then you’re a weasel!]” Ben typed on his phone. He heard his little sister laugh off screen, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. He still couldn’t believe she’ll be graduating soon, he remembered her being a baby like it was yesterday! “Well, we must be heading out now, Lily’s rehearsal starts soon. We’ll talk to you later! Bye bye my sweet baby!!” His mom spoke, waving goodbye to him. Ben smiled as he waved bye, hanging up on the call. He sighed as he got up, deciding he needed a quick treat. 

‘To the bakery shop it is.’ he thought, grabbing his wallet and keychain.

(1/?)

(spare you the horror angst for now...)

(...NO THIS ONE IS PRETTY TAME,,, I'm talking about a Logan angst fic I got prepared,,,infection,,,,,,,,,,heheheheheheh)

[sad-ghost-of-garbage]

Ivy Act I

Author: SadGhostofGarbage

David x G/N reader and Michael x G/N reader

Warnings: MDNI! TOXIC relationships, DARK fic, swearing, cheating on a partner, torture, mental manipulation, pet names, David calls himself daddy but like he’s not wrong. Mentions of sex. Reader having insecurities. 

This is a multipart fic and will be five parts. The warnings are for the entire fic not each part. Yes it was inspired by Taylor Swifts song Ivy. 

Act I WINTER 

The night air was crisp, the ocean adding bite to the cool winter air. It had been winter when you had met him…David, he had charmed his way into a date with you. One turned into two and just like that everyone knew you were his. You no longer got hassled at the boardwalk, not by any locals anyway. But just as the creeps disappeared so did your friends, one by one they slowly started making excuses for not being able to hang out. What hurt the most was when you caught them all hanging out, without you. You couldn't understand why your friends would treat you that way, driving you to spend more time in the blonde’s open and waiting arms. 

“Why don’t they like me? Did I do something to make them hate me?” David was holding you against him as you cried in his arms.

“You don’t need them darling, they were shit friends anyway.” Stammering and stuttering you try to defend them against such harsh words.

“No they-” you’re cut off with a finger to your lips.

“Good friends don’t ghost people.” With a swipe of his thumb over your lips he moves to cup your cheek and continues, “good friends don’t make their friends cry.” As if emphasizing his point he wipes the tears off your cheeks. “They think that you’re useless.” Wincing at his words you try and squirm away but he has a tight grip on your chin. “They don’t need you.” Whimpering at his word you try to beg him to stop, to not say such horrible things. 

Things that you knew were true. 

“They don’t need you, but I do.”

Winter had quickly become your favorite, enjoying the bite of frigid ocean air as you raced down the beach on the back of David’s bike. Not having a care in the world as everyone else was bundled up inside taking shelter from the cold, you embraced it. The cold reminded you of David, his touch and his love, the winter reminded you of him. Not once did you crave the scorching heat of summer but you preferred to retreat back into your haven of ice and snow. The only warmth you craved was the billow of smoke that your lover sometimes gracefully breathes into your lungs while sharing a kiss. Hours; you’d spend every waking hour with David if you could, and he let you. He let you cling to him like a lost child, never letting go of him as he took you along on nightly escapades. The longer you were in David’s arms the harder it was to let go when it was time to go. No matter how much time you spent with him it never felt like it was enough, you wanted to be with him constantly. 

“David, do you have to go? Can’t I go with you guys? Please I’ll be good, I promise!” 

“Ah ah ah, no can do doll. It’s just me and the boys tonight.” The smirk on his face was impossible to miss as he chuckled at your whine of displeasure. “What’s the matter, doll? You gonna throw a fit?” 

“No. But I- I just-“ shame making you fall silent it was silly and you were over reacting. A gloved hand tilts your chin upward to face him.

“Tell me kitten.” As soon as your eyes meet his blue ones, a shiver rolls through your body as if it had been filled with ice. 

“I-it’s, it’s just that I miss you when you’re gone.” Looking away out of embarrassment you miss the way David relishes in your admission. Doing well to mask his pride as amusing concern he asks,

“Aw, is that so kitten?” His thumb running back and forth on your cheek providing some comfort, “Don’t worry about it doll. I’ll spend all night with you tomorrow, okay? The boys and I have things to do tonight.”

“Okay David.” With a frigid kiss to your forehead he was gone. That night was miserable, without David to keep your mind together what were you supposed to do? You were anxious, was this how it was always going to feel? 

Lonely?

Numb?

Cold hands wrap around yours stopping you from continuing to pick at your sweaters loose thread. Looking up into David’s crystal blue eyes has every worry in your mind floating away with the winter wind. Gone were your troubled thoughts, all replaced with the thoughts of David. His presence is imposing, even in your thoughts, he was all consuming; it was as if you couldn’t think of anything else. The rest of the night is a blur of shivers and blue eyes that blind like a blizzard. And it was marvelous. Yet still the loneliness poked and prodded at the edges of your mind. The nights spent with David are exhilarating, leaving you gasping at the frigid air, leaving you dreaming of the next night you get to spend with him. While you were eager for the nights to fall, you dreaded the dawn like the living dread a grave. Days were debilitating, panic attacks wracked through your body when you were awake leaving you yearning for the relief of rest. But the anxiety wouldn’t let you sleep. A new feeling started consuming you when the sunlight reminded you that you were alone. 

Numb.

Alone.

Slowly it began to creep into your thoughts, if David wasn’t with you, the loneliness ate away at your heart.

Tagging the gorgeous @britany1997 like always thank you for putting up with me while I was writing this, love you baby!

[bi-bard]

I Just Wanna Stay in That Lavender Haze - Michael Gray Imagine (Peaky Blinders)

Title: I Just Wanna Stay in That Lavender Haze

Pairing: Michael Gray X Reader

Based On: Lavender Haze

Word Count: 1,159 words

Warning(s): family being invasive, shaming

Summary: Michael's family has grown used to (Y/n) being around. Maybe that familiarity has allowed them to feel too comfortable asking questions that they shouldn't.

Author's Note: I have missed this show. Also, I don't know why I picked John for this. It just felt right for some reason.

MIDNIGHTS - TAYLOR SWIFT WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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I wish I could pinpoint the moment that going out for a drink made my shoulders feel so heavy. When it started making my stomach churn with anxiety. When my mind became a wheel of constantly nagging thoughts all boiling down to one thing: do not go.

I always tried to ignore them. I wanted to do the right thing. Be the bigger person. Continue to hold my head up high.

I was starting to have trouble seeing the point.

"Can we not stay home tonight," I asked, looking at myself in the mirror.

"I have some business to attend to," Michael explained as he walked over. Had he always been so vague when describing things? I couldn't remember at this point.

I took a deep breath, forcing a grin as I nodded.

He saw through it. Somehow.

He walked over and pressed a slow kiss to my lips. It lasted just long enough for me to consider trying to distract him into staying here tonight.

"One drink," he said. "Then, we can come home and enjoy our evening."

"Enjoy our evening," I repeated. A smirk pulled at Michael's lips. "Whatever could you mean by that, Mr. Gray?"

"Get through the drink and I'll make sure you understand."

I bit my lip before nodding.

Another kiss was pressed to my forehead before he left me to finish getting ready.

The night started decently enough.

I was enjoying myself, letting myself relax just a bit as Michael went off to have whatever talk he needed to have. I had spotted a few people muttering to each other, but they'd never say anything to my face. The only true lucky part of being involved with the Peaky Blinders at all.

The same courtesy of the outside spectators was not shared by the members of the Shelby family, I learned.

They had always been the... strangest when it came to casual conversation. With me, at least.

There were layers. Some were subtle. Small references to my "past before Michael" or to what they believed was a lack of commitment. Some were very blunt about the topic. To them, I was a terrible choice for Michael. I was bad luck.

But he didn't care. He would still look at me and love me with no hesitation. It was everything I could ask for.

But no amount of love could stop the nervous lurch in my stomach whenever a member of the Shelby family decided to share their thoughts.

Tonight's volunteer was John.

I had just gotten my drink, allowing myself a moment next to the actual bar as I looked out at the crowd.

"Evening, (Y/n)," he muttered, waving for a drink.

"Good evening, John."

"Didn't expect you tonight."

I shrugged. "Michael mentioned having business to attend to. He let me join."

John nodded. I grinned at him.

"How are you and Michael," he asked.

I grinned. "We're good. Happy."

"Been with each other a while now."

I nodded. He wasn't going to jump around this one, was he?

"I'd ask if you were trying to take things slow, but we both know that's not the case."

There it was.

My jaw clenched a bit, "Excuse me?"

John just had a smirk on his face as he brought his drink up to his lips. He wanted me to react to him. Embarrass myself completely.

I almost did.

And then, a hand touched my lower back. I looked over at Michael for a moment. He had a worried look on his face as he glanced between me and John. He had heard John's statement.

Michael's hand touching my back seemed to be what I needed to speak up again.

"Are you asking if Michael's going to make an 'honest one' of me," I asked. "Does it truly upset you to not know every detail of our lives?"

No answers.

I clenched my jaw at that.

"(Y/n), come on," Michael mumbled into my ear.

I glared at John for a moment before forcing my eyes to soften. I pressed a kiss to Michael's cheek and nodded. He stepped back, offering his hand to me.

My next movement was admittedly dramatic. Dramatic enough to spill the cup I had placed on the bar right onto the front of John's shirt.

I pretended to be embarrassed, panicked, "Oh, John. I'm so sorry. I should be more careful. Never know when simple mistakes can cause big problems."

Michael grabbed my hand gently and led me outside.

We walked in silence for a while. My arm was wrapped around his. I couldn't tell if he was upset with me or not.

I had never stood up to anyone in his family. I had gotten very good at biting my tongue and forcing a grin. Tonight was a rare occurrence.

"I'm sorry," I muttered to him. "I just... I have grown so tired of listening to comments like that."

Michael didn't respond. I stepped away from his arm, instead just holding his hand.

"I don't understand this obsession with us. I'm either not committed enough to you or I'm simply not good enough because of some supposed past, which is completely fabricated," I explained. "How am I meant to impress them at this point? It's hopeless. They are all convinced that they know what's best for us. But I am perfectly happy where we are. Happier than I've ever been. Where do they have the right-"

I squeaked a bit when Michael stopped walking and pulled me into a kiss. His free hand cupped the back of my head, holding me in place. I entertained the moment for a matter of seconds before I pulled my lips away from his.

"You can't just kiss me whenever I get upset," I muttered. "This is a real problem, Michael..."

"I'll talk with them," he promised, hand still resting on the back of my head, one finger starting to draw small circles. "Tell them to stop."

I wanted to believe that it would all be this simple. That all he needed to do was speak the words and they would all drop the topic. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it may not have been enough.

"And if they don't listen," I asked quietly. I felt guilty for asking. Selfish. But I would never shake the weight in my stomach if I didn't ask. "What happens then?"

He took a deep breath. "We'll sort that out when it comes to it."

I nodded.

"But know that you will be my first priority," he added.

I never imagined that a single sentence could stop my heart as fast as that one did. He stepped back and continued our walk home.

"Michael," I said as he moved. He looked at me again. "I love you."

A grin pulled at his lips. "I love you too."

I smiled back at him before leaning my head on his shoulder and continuing our walk home in silence.

A comfortable, perfect silence.

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[eddieslittlefreak]

the art of being degraded - steddie ff.

summary: steve and eddie are completely different and they should hate each other. but a heart can’t really help, when it gets caught up in love, because every love story has some tragedy in it.

note:  the whole thing is written while listening to labyrinth by taylor swift and i know the end by phoebe bridgers, just fits here perfectly.

Steve realized he was bad person when he was 17.  This was around the time he met Eddie Munson, the school’s ‘freak’. Steve’s friends were more than happy when they got to bully the guy, to laugh at him or make fun of him. Eddie never really seemed to care about the insults, but Steve had the worst feeling in his guts when he was just standing in the corner, speechless, not doing anything to stop his very own friends. They weren’t friends, not really. They just kept Steve around for fun, because he was rich and had a place where they could party all weekend. The worst part was the Steve knew this, but he had no one other than these people. No friends, family or lover. He would have been completely alone if he leaves them, and he couldn’t risk that. He was the worst kind of people pleaser with communication and daddy issues, who was constantly hanging on a thread and was just a shadow in his own life.

Eddie realized he fell for the school jock Steve when he was 17 and a half. He knew he was trouble and everything bad he should be running away from, but he was standing still, ready for everything that Steve Harrington was. He felt something was off about him, since he never spoke a single word while his friends were bullying and degrading him at every chance they got. Steve was silent, immediately looking away when his eyes met with Eddie’s. There was something strange about him that Eddie wanted to figure out. He saw him walking home alone after school every day, his head hanging low, looking nothing like the person he was in school. Eddie have never seen his parents around and he was always alone when it wasn’t the weekend, when his so called friends went to party. He admits, sometimes he was watching Steve from afar, trying to figure out what was going on in his head when he wasn’t speaking. Eddie just had this urge to be close to Steve, to touch him, to slowly rock him and hear about every pain he has in him. He hoped Steve would do the same.

One day Eddie followed Steve on the way home. It didn’t take long till Steve noticed him, so he turned to look at him in confusion, head slightly tilted. Eddie stopped too, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment.

“Hi.” Eddie choked out a word after the silence. Steve’s face was surprisingly soft, giving away that he wasn’t bothered by Eddie’s presence on this cold and windy afternoon.

“Hi.” Steve greeted him too, crossing his arms in front of him. The tip of his nose was a bit read from the freezing wind and Eddie couldn’t help, but stare.

“Mind if I.. join you?” Eddie asked, careful with every word that left his mouth. Steve tensed up for a second, guilt catching up with him.

“Why?” he asked, not sure of Eddie’s intention. He didn’t understand why would Eddie want to walk home with him, when his friends made his everyday’s pure hell. But Eddie didn’t seem like he was angry or pissed, he was just staring at Steve with those big, peaceful doe eyes that made Steve’s knees weak. 

“I was just wondering if you’d like some company maybe.” Eddie showed a small smile. Steve tensed up, feeling like shit.

“You don’t need to.” he shook his head eventually and the smile faded from Eddie’s face. He couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to help Steve somehow, because he could see something was terribly wrong with him. “Uh.. I’m friends with Tommy.” he said after a little while, earning a snort from Eddie.

“Yeah, and?” he asked, because he had genuinely no idea what’s that suppose to mean. 

“He hurts you, Eddie. Most of my friends do.” Steve left out a bitter laugh, sniffing a few.

“Kinda true.” Eddie shrugged. “But will you hurt me, Harrington?” that caught Steve quite offguard. He felt his cheeks heating up in the cold weather as Eddie was looking at him with a curious gaze.

“No. I would never.” he said eventually. His eyes were clear and honest, making Eddie feel like he could melt right there on the pavement.

“Good.” Eddie smiled again, walking there to Steve and finally cutting the distance between them. “Any plans for the afternoon?” he started a casual conversation. All of this was unbelievable to Steve, but he couldn’t lie, didn’t even want to when it came to confessing how relaxed and good he felt next to Eddie. 

The walk was oddly better than Steve’s usual ones. He liked the way Eddie was talking about all the things in the world and his interests. He got to known him a lot better. The most shocking to him was that Eddie asked about his interests too, and gave space to him to talk. He even listened and asked questions about the topic. Steve felt like he was dreaming, because he felt so nice and warm that his mind had a hard time processing all of this. Eddie explained things to him that he didn’t understand without getting angry with him or irratated. It felt so nice that it was almost painful.

They arrived to Steve’s house, Eddie still talking like crazy, while Steve was smiling. This time, it was genuine and calm, not forced at all. He just didn’t want the moment to end.

“Hey, Eddie..” Steve spoke a bit quietly. “Wanna come in for a bit?”

“Wouldn’t I bother your parents?” Eddie asked, actually knowing the answer.

“No, they’re not here. Don’t worry.’’ Steve shook his head.

“Working late?” 

“Something like that.”

Eddie didn’t ask more about the topic, because now he had the right idea about what’s the issue. His parents abandonment him too a while ago, but seems like Steve’s parents are trying to keep the hope in him that they actually care, but it’s not true. Eddie had his uncle as his family, but Steve seemed to have no one.

Eddie wanted to be a family to Steve.

The days took a big turn for both of them. The secret stares in the corridors in school and the meetings afterwards made a change for the better. Steve started to feel.. better. He never thought he could feel anything similiar, but Eddie made it more than possible. It’s been a month and pretty much no one noticed what was going on between them. Steve asked Eddie to stay over for the night for the first time and Eddie almost couldn’t believe it, and of course he said yes.

Their first kiss happened this night in Steve’s bed, where Eddie crawled in after Steve’s silent sobs. Steve wasn’t sad or anything, he was just so overwhelmed by the feeling of being appreciated, loved and cared about. This actually made him feel so crazy. Eddie was the first that touched him without hurting him, who treated him in some ways that made Steve feel good about himself. Steve’s hunger for love was being filled day by day, minute by minute as he spent time with Eddie. They just lied in bed all night, facing each other and talking none sense. Steve’s face was hurting from smiling, his eyes so awake and shiny from all the love he felt for Eddie. Eddie felt safe with Steve. Never, not even for a moment he thought that Steve would be like his bullies, but maybe somewhere deep in his soul he was still a bit scared from Steve hurting him somehow. Yeah, in school he didn’t do anything when his friends degraded or bullied Eddie, but not because he didn’t want to. He couldn’t. Whatever he said, it didn’t matter. But Eddie wasn’t mad, quite the opposite. He was so in love with Steve and Steve was in love with him. Eddie made him feel all of those things and even more that his parents were unable to.  Sometimes when Steve drifted to sleep mid conversation, Eddie just reached out and caressed his hair, then led his hand down on his face, smiling to himself. He didn’t know how he got so lucky.

Steve’s favorite part of the week must have been when it was just the two of them in bed, sometimes naked, sometimes dressed, but so close that he could feel Eddie’s breath on his skin. Eddie adored to keep Steve there in his arms, so safe and warm. They wanted, completed and loved each other. They healed each other.

But nothing could go without a problem.

In school things started to go down. Steve started to stand up against his shitty friends but all of them took it as a joke. Especially Tommy. He just laughed into his face most of the time, then acting like best pals. Steve started to have enough and he couldn’t bend anymore, only break.

“Hey, you wanted to meet?” Eddie entered the empty gym where Steve was standing in the middle, playing with a basketball. As soon as he saw Eddie, he threw it away and rushed to him. He heavily collapsed with his chest, earning a laugh from Eddie as he stepped back a bit, trying to balance themselves after the force of the hug. “Missed me, Stevie?” he often called him that and gosh, Steve adored it.

“Shut up and hug me back.” Steve murmured and Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice. 

“What’s wrong, hm?” he could feel how tensed Steve’s muscles were, and it was really rare when Steve wanted some privacy for them in school, so there must have been something. Eddie was keep on brushing over Steve’s arms, comforting him the best way he could.

“Just a bit tired, didn’t sleep much last night.” Steve closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against Eddie’s chest.

“Steve, you’re pushing me backwards.” Eddie laughed out loudly, his sweet voice echoing in the empty gym. Steve softly giggled, inhaling the smoky scent of Eddie’s. It was needed, his stomach wasn’t feeling so well today. 

“Oh well, well.” as the voice rang through in their comfortable silence, Steve literally jumped away from Eddie. It was Tommy and Steve’s shitty friendgroup. “I knew something was off with you Harrington, but I wouldn’t have thought it’s that you’re a fa-”

“Watch your mouth.” Steve spoke up, his heart raicing in his chest. He looked at Eddie from the corner of his eye, then back at Tommy. “I have nothing to do with you anymore. None of you. Not you Tommy or you, Carol. You’re all so fucking shitty people.” he said, not even caring about anything anymore. “And yeah guys, just to clear any confusion. I fuck him.” he pointed at Eddie, who was biting on his lip in stress. “And I love him.” Eddie was looking at Steve with a terrified expression, because he knew this won’t end well. None of the beautiful tragedies ever ended good, that’s why they became tragadies in the first place. Steve loved Eddie. Eddie was basically floating because of this information, no matter what happened in the next few minutes.

***

“Fuck, careful!” Steve hissed as Eddie was wiping the blood from his face. The sun was slowly setting down behind the trees as they were sitting by a big rock by the lake. Steve’s jaw was split up and he felt a bit numb, but he had it worse before, actually. 

“I’m so sorry, Stevie.” Eddie sighed. His wrists were bruised, that’s where he was held while he needed to watch Steve getting beaten up.

“Let’s look at the bright side.” Steve spoke, keeping his tired eyes on Eddie. “No more shitheads in my life.” he sighed as Eddie pulled his hand back from his face.

“You got a freak, though.” Eddie joked, trying to patch up Steve a bit.

“I would roll my eyes, but I feel like they would roll out from their place.” he groaned, taking a deep breath. Eddie softly smiled, not sure what he should say. “You know I meant it, right?”

“Meant what?” Eddie asked.

“That I love you. I do.” Steve said, a smile forming on his lips, too. “And letting them know this as well totally worth getting beaten up.” Eddie was looking at him with those beautiful hazel eyes of his, wondering about how could such an angel love him.

“I could have done something if I’m not so weak.” he said, which Steve didn’t really like. He grabbed Eddie’s chin then kissed him harsh and passionately. Eddie melted into the touch of his lover, their tongues sliding against each other so perfectly. “Uh.. didn’t that hurt?” he asked as they parted.

“Like crazy, yes.” Steve nodded, letting out a small laugh. “But seriously, Eds. I watched you being bullied for a long time, you just repayed.”

“Woah, never say that again Harrington!” Eddie warned with wide eyes, but Steve just smiled. Eddie shook his head. “You’re such a jerk.” he commented, brushing over the scar one last time with the handkerchief, then sitting down next to Steve.

“Yeah, you love me.” Steve positioned himself closer to him.

“Sure thing I do.” he chuckled. They stayed silent for a while, just looking at the sunset and every color that it was willing to afford, painting the sky beautifully. After a little Steve got bored of it and turned to watch Eddie, because to him Eddie was a hundred times more beautiful than anything he has ever seen. Eddie quickly noticed the staring, so he just closed his eyes and smiled. He felt oddly calm, just silently existing next to Steve. Steve wished he could read his mind in those moments.

“We will have a good life, Eddie.” Steve said, looking back at the clouds by the skyline. Eddie opened his eyes, the smile never leaving his lips.

“What do I hear, Stevie? You’re planning your life with me?” he asked teasingly, enjoying the sight of Steve’s face getting flustered. Gosh, he was one of a kind for sure.

“I just thought it would be nice..” Steve muttered. His hands started to freeze totally in the cooling weather, but he had this warm feeling in his chest that seemed to appear whenever he was with Eddie.

“You’re so sweet.” Eddie shook his head in amazement. “I’m planning my life with you, too.” he secured him in a soft tone. “Isn’t it crazy? Me, planning my life with you? I think you’re the craziest and the best thing that ever happened to me, but I don’t regret a single second.” he reached out, locking their fingers together. Be bringed Steve’s hand up to his lips, pressing a careful kiss on the bruised knuckles. Steve shivered into the touch, happiness filling his whole body. “We’re gonna have the best life ever, Stevie.”

[rambleontime]

Sept 1, 2024

I'm happy summer is drawing to a close. It was a fun summer. We did so much and truly made the most of it. From biking around in Rhode Island in June, to our Euro trip in July (being Kali's maid of honor, seeing Taylor Swift live in Zurich, being in Liechtenstein), to spending the month of August in Montreal, summer has been full of adventures and experiences.

I've really pushed myself to be more adventurous and make the most of this summer ~ partly because I hope to be pregnant in the fall, god willing. So maybe not the best habits, but had a bit of a yolo mentality in August and stayed up late, went to concerts, soaked it all in. I guess all the 'normal' things to do at my age (29). But I guess prior to August, I'd been living a bit cautiously ~ and not to butcher that quote, but I don't want to live so cautiously so as to not have lived at all.

But anyway, I got my fill of all these summer adventures and I'm really looking forward to being back home in Boston and settling back into a routine! I miss sleeping in our own bed as well. Plus being in Montreal is great, but I'm starting to get agitated with the feeling that we need to make the most of it every damn day and do something after work. Sometimes, I don't want to do anything after work besides curl up with a good book or TV show. But I've been pushing myself cause again ~ assuming that once I'm pregnant I won't be going to many concerts ha! (But side note - V is way more adventurous than me vs I'm a homebody; so truth be told, I'm also looking forward to him having more work events in the fall, so I can have more alone time. I can't be with him 24/7 and honestly it's an annoying feeling that I constantly have to entertain him and do things with him while we're in Montreal - sorry not sorry. Obviously things are different in Boston cause he has hobbies, friends, etc).

Also lately I've been feeling introspective. Maybe cause my 30th birthday is coming up? I feel like all the time since covid has been a blur. A lot has happened since 2021 - we bought a house, did a lot of traveling, and I finally got promoted this year - but also looking back, in a lot of ways, it has felt like the movie groundhog day with the same thing happening over and over again. And I look back and I wonder ~ what did I accomplish for myself?

I think my biggest regret coming out of my 20s is not pushing myself more at work & in educational pursuits and just going with the flow. Which ironically is what my parents constantly criticized me for growing up ~ not being as much of a go-getter, че се вея, etc etc. Dad would always quote Alice in Wonderland:

If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take

Sadly, quite true about my life up to this point (although, these past few days I've felt this really odd power shift/motivation in me ~ like I finally know what I want; that I want to actually DO something rather than just let time pass and let life passively happen to me).

Heck, even rereading my financial reflections post from Dec '22, I realized not much has changed cause I still struggle with a lot of the same issues (although thankfully some improvement cause I'm not using BNPL anymore & I dodged the bullet of buying an expensive Van Cleef necklace and instead got my long coveted rug for the living room).

But I need to do better for myself in this next decade of life. What do I want? Cause I'm truly realizing how quickly time flies. Insanely fast. And I don't feel like I have enough to show for it.

First of all, let's start with the house. We bought our house in May 2021 and yeah, we're not all that well-off and the house decor has mostly/entirely fallen on me, but damn - it's Sept 2024 and our house still isn't fully furnished. It's honestly pathetic. I'm pretty embarrassed by it. Setting a goal to furnish it by the end of the year, cause I've had it with my lazy ass (but also with V's annoying ass reluctance to spend too much $ on the house, which is a whole other topic on its own). Also acknowledging that part of the problem is I have expensive taste and need to budget it out better. Hell, the rug I just bought from West Elm was a little over $1k~

Second of all - work. Work-life balance is important, but sadly one consequence of working from home has been that I have felt so disconnected from work. I don't listen during meetings; I multi-task. I really wonder what transferable skills am I getting from this job? I'm most definitely coasting along. I work with smart & motivated people and lately I feel like I'm just along for the ride. I did get promoted this year and my work is valued (I think). But I see how this one girl, who is younger than me, really got ahead and is managing me right now. Not sure if I would have wanted her position and to go into management, but I am seeing that while I do have seniority on the team, the new hires learn fast. Long story short - I need to use my job to expand my skill set instead of just doing the same things over and over again.

Third of all, continuing education & learning. I wish I had taken the GMAT and/or pursued a Masters degree. It's not too late, but I do feel like I had a lot of free time from 2020-2024 that I squandered/could have used better. Or at least done some more certifications or something. Also I'm frustrated with myself because my parents did talk to me about this. So I want to be better about investing in myself skill wise (not just with facials, massages, hair, and other кифла things).

I don't want to be all negative and so hard on myself. I've learned a lot over the past decade. How to take care of myself, first and foremost. Heck, when I was 19 and just starting college, I didn't even know how to do my own laundry. Now I run & manage a whole household (obviously with help from my husband, this isn't the 1500s). So yeah, I should give myself credit where credit is due. I've come into my own as a woman and a person. And I should give myself grace because I immigrated to the US as a 19-year old and "started fresh," and worked on building myself up in a country where I have no close family around.

I have a supportive community and friendships all around the world. I am kind and people like me and come to me for advice. I appreciate that!

I think some lessons for the coming decade are:

Prioritize what you want to do. Say no to things in order to free up time to do what you want to do.

Hard work pays off. And the fun times are so much more rewarding when you've worked hard.

Consistency is key. I'd rather focus on one good habit/adding an additional thing in my life than focusing on 5 and then loosing the plot.

I will continue this later...

[asphaltmeadowws]

girl im so sorry about this but i gotta rant

the tswift thing pisses me off so much because its such an obvious PR move to distract from her last relationship. her ex was being exposed as a racist sexist piece of shit and she ignored all the backlash and continued dating him so she now decides to take advantage of the opportunity to date the league's biggest clout chaser to clean up that ex mess and make people forget about it. she showed her true colors when she refused to break up with matt healy during that whole shitstorm so what better way to distract people than to infiltrate the country's favorite sport?

i dont think the whole thing was orchestrated, i think it just coincidentally worked out in both their favor when travis kept using her name to drive up the views/engagements of his podcast but suddenly they both found each other in a mutually beneficial situation where she gets to be america's sweetheart dating a star football player and he gets all the clout and attention he's been chasing for so long. the nfl as an organization constantly bringing them up and shoving them down our throats is not a good look for a league that wants to reach a more international audience and expand the sport. its such an embarrassment and just feels so cheap. i cant help but think of how any european soccer team would get absolutely ridiculed to death for trying something like this, it's so unprofessional and takes away from the game. idk i'm just so over it, i get that the people involved would be the ones to constantly push this but for the actual nfl to do it is just embarrassing

again i'm sorry for the rant i'm just so done with this shit

No need to be sorry, anon, feel free to rant.

I really liked the comparison with the European soccer clubs because I think you are totally right. But it wouldn’t even go this far. Like imagine the Premier League going crazy about Manchester City because Erling Haaland is dating Taylor Swift - the other clubs wouldn’t have that at all! They would go to UEFA, FIFA, accuse the league of benefiting one club…The NFL franchises don’t even have this option.

I’m curious to see how the NFL will handle the Chiefs game in Germany, considering it’s an international audience. But from what I’ve seen so far it shouldn’t be any different. The UK and German Twitter accounts have already joined the TS party. And even here in Europe the NFL is making money out of this situation (I read that sales of Kelce jerseys increased by 120%, absolutely insane).

I also don’t think it was something planned in advance, it just happened and they both saw that as a good opportunity. Taylor is trying to improve her image after the Healy affair (and it’s working…) and Kelce is making a lot of money with jerseys, TV ratings, social media engagement and free advertisement for his podcast…

[romanshomeonwattpad]

tbh I jst want something rlly angsty, if you could do that pls and thank u

lowkey inspired by miss taylor swift

lol

EMBARASSED

“And then I was like—“

You smiled over at Rue, who was telling a random story about her mom finding a condom in her backpack. It was actually kinda funny, since she ended up having a girlfriend instead. You were extremely nervous, meeting Elliot’s friends for the first time—since you two went to different schools. You had been talking for a few weeks, then he asked you out about two weeks ago. As someone who was diagnosed with anxiety, you constantly needed to be reassured that Elliot really wanted to be with you, due to the fact that he was far too good to be true.

He was kind, you had to admit—but that wasn’t even the half of it. His smile would bright up your day instantly, those soft curls matted on top of his head the best headache reliever to get you through the day. The way his eyes crinkled when his grin would stretch across his face, or the glints of worry that would sparkle in his dark hues whenever you took a hit from his joint, making sure you weren’t dehydrated or dizzy. Elliot had been perfect,

So far.

Laughing at a joke Jules made, you placed your hand on top of Elliots’, fingers running over his knuckles. He retracted his hand from underneath yours, to your surprise, and rubbed the back of his neck. Biting down on your lip, you quickly moved your hand back to your lap, pulling on a fake smile that masked your true feelings. He let go of your hand.

Furrowing your brows, you swallowed thickly, thoughts running to the back of your head.

“Did he actually like you?”

“Was he embarrassed of you?”

“Did his friends even know you were his girlfriend?”

Your chest began to heavily rise then fall, teeth clenching down on the inside of your cheek as you did your best to act cool. Hot flashes of embarrassment kept hitting you, not daring to glance over at your boyfriend, who acted calm and unbothered. He hadn’t known that you were bothered, or he was pretending he didn’t. Soon enough, the four of you bid your goodbyes—and Elliot and you went back to his house to smoke.

Lighting the joint between his lips, you watched with a slightly confused look, as he leaned his back against his window while letting the smoke emit from his lips. Bringing your thumb nail to your mouth, you chewed on it absentmindedly, his eyes flickering over to you, “Why’re you biting your nails, pretty girl?”

You shrugged, smiling tightly—dropping your hand back onto your lap. “Sorry.”

His eyes narrowed, “You okay? You’re quiet—well, more than usual,” he chuckled, offering you the joint, “What’s up?”

You shook your head, “I’m good,” and then you gulped, blinking quickly, “It’s just—back at the diner, you uh,” you laughed nervously, running a hand through your hair, “It’s stupid, but uh, you let go of my hand. I thought I did something wrong.”

His smile slipped, jaw tightening.

“It’s fine, though,” you dismissed.

“I didn’t, though,” his brows furrowed, “I just—I didn’t wanna do that in front of my friends, to be honest.”

Your heart dropped, shoulders slumping.

“Why?”

He shrugged, his body growing stiff as he plucked the joint back into his mouth, looking out the window, “I’m not a relationship type of guy,” he muttered, your eyes beginning to water at his words. It pissed you off. But he didn’t notice, taking another hit, a puff of smoke surrounding you both, “I don’t really do those things.”

“You’re not a relationship kinda guy, but you’re in a relationship?” You croaked, voice slightly wavering. At the sound of your tone, his eyes snapped to yours, his expression softening. He quickly sat up, shaking his head with that same worried glint in his eyes, but you made some space between you, standing up from the bed, “What? Why don’t you wanna show me of—“

His eyes rounded, “I didn’t mean it like that, baby. I would never mean it like that,” he gulped, standing up as well. You stared at him with an empty look while his hands flew to your face, holding it in his palms. His dark eyes bored down into yours, “I just meant I’m not—used to doing that. I’ve never been in a relationship before, you know that. It’s all new to me is all,” he explained more clearly, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, “Affection was never given to me grown up, so I’m not sure how to handle it when it’s given to me.”

You nodded, smiling as he pecked your lips, “I’m sorry.”

He pulled your head into his chest, arms wrapping around your smaller figure. His scent of marijuana and strong cologne filled up your senses, but you didn’t mind, eyes fluttering shut at the comforting sensation of his warmth.

taglist ☻ @spiritualwhore444 @leslienjazzy @mooniezarie @borapsycho @rosefallingtears @write-from-the-heart @solacestyles @niya-savage @whynotmissamerica a @hoe-for-sukuna @kidtheekid @xkrysslinalexus @wolfietara @sallyscigarettes @carrmenn @tinybookworm16

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@awfullyyy @artemis-enchanter

[thebirkenstocksocialist]

How many fandoms were you in before YR? And how did you get into YR?

Hi thanks so much @echocoffee 💜💜💜

My first fandom was Harry Potter circa 2002 when we were waiting for OotP to come out. It was a wild time of speculative FanFiction and checking the news constantly for updates. I read fic on and off until well after the 7th book was published. At the time I really didn’t deviate from cannon except I love a good Remus/Sirius ship. Now I’ll dabble in Drary.

Around 2008/2009 I was into Twilight fandom. This is a bit embarrassing but I find honesty is better than shame. Anyway, mostly I found fic here because I was pissed that all that pining led to a fade to black wedding night. So I had to find one of course. But I made my first real fandom friend and beta read for the first time and that was super special.

For the past couple of years I have been pretty deep in Schitt’s Creek. This is where I learned to use discord and really connect with people on a much more personal level. I wrote my very first fanfic in this fandom (also Taylor Swift inspired ad I am a Folkwhore). I met one of my best friends in the whole world, made and sent rosebud necklaces to friends all over the world, and have had fandom friend meet ups. I can’t believe how lucky I have been to meet and love some truly wonderful people during the pandemic from Schitt’s Creek - the town where everyone fits in.

I also dabble in Ted Lasso. Huge fan of the show and I’ve read quite a bit of my favorite ship - Trent/Ted!

How’d I come to YR? Well I came out as queer late in life. Well over a decade into a hetero appearing marriage (Love you so much Mr. Squig!). David Rose was the first mspec person I saw in media. And I related so deeply to him. Then Patrick came along - a true late bloomer - and inspired me more.

I realized I was in my own sort of queer adolescence. I always have loved coming of age stories and like, teen dramas, so I decided to watch YR after I had heard really good rumblings about it on the internet. My heart just craves good queer media. Then I watched it and was just stunned with what such a small, simple show managed to do in six episodes. And the gorgeous queer joy, and heartache, of it all. I fell in love with the unlabeled representation too. So I took to twitter and found my way to the incredible besties on discord and the rest is history. 💜

[colorisbyshe]

i assume you're tired of the taylor asks so this is about the fatphobia one anyways what you said is sooo true my mom used to buy clothes for me that were too small on purpose so she could hand them down to my sister and cousins directly also you can't share clothes with your smaller friends and feel left out and terrible and also when people get clothes for you that are too small or too big it's so embarrassing it's such a small thing no one talks about because i guess it's not really a "systemic" aspect of fatphobia but it sucks so bad...

Yeah.

It seems like just now people are understanding the deeper levels of fatphobia (ie that it can be systemic, that it kills people) but when it comes to like Daily Fatphobia You Live With, people still think it's just snide comments nad not just like... a constant barrage of microaggressions that are so fucking underhanded you don't even realize what's happening until after the fact?

Whether it be people refusing to ask your size because it's "impolite" to intentional gifting of too small items (often to shame people but yaeh I'm not surprised at that being done as an excuse to have you give it away ,I'm so sorry that happened to you). To like... visiting someone's home and like... no chairs comfortably fit you. Spilling over the seats on public transit and trying to shrink into yourself. Like we talk about clothes not being made to fit fat bodies but so much of the world isn't made for fat bodies.

Being told one fatphobic comment about how something looks on you and never wearing it again. I avoided horizontal stripes like my fucking life depended on it and would wear hoodies even when I got too hot because I was told tying them around my waist was "like a cape for your fat."

Constantly policing what you eat and how much you eat in public (and then, eventually, in private) in case people think "Of course, X is eating that, that's why they're fat!"

It's just... constant. Can't get a hair cut because your face is too round. If you're a girl, you aren't ever considered feminine, if you're a boy you're considered feminine for beign fat.

Like... fat people can't ever fucking win.

And now fat liberation has been stolen by skinny peopel and all we have left is people saying "Well, fat can be sexy tho" so it's like... thanks we're a porn category now.

It's sickeninggggggggggggg

[lildark1]

Accidental Serenade - Raelle x Scylla

After tonight’s episode and hearing Taylor sing I HAD to do something with Raelle’s hidden talent. This was written kinda quick, may go back and edit later, but my eyes are starting to cross right now.

-=-

The murmur of the campus filled Raelle’s ears, but she was far enough away it became lost under the sound of the guitar as she plucked at it. She had no real tune in mind. She just wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of campus for a bit. Growing up in the Cession she was surrounded more by fields and forest than people. Sure Charlotte was a decent sized town, but it was nothing compared to Salem. Raelle knew she was lucky to get into Salem University. It had one of the best medical programs this side of the Cession, but it was still a bit of a shock to the system to be constantly surrounded by people.

Thankfully her roommates seemed cool, if a bit to get used to. Tally was guileless and almost overbearingly friendly, but Raelle couldn’t help, but be taken with her warmth. Abigail Bellweather on the other hand, as snarky as she was uppity, but the ice had slowly broken over the few weeks that they had been bunking together. Now their ‘fights’ and jabs were more in jest, much to Tally’s relief. The poor redhead had gotten stuck in the middle more than once. 

Despite this though she still was happy when she had found this out of the way place. It wasn’t too far off the beaten path, but just far enough to give the illusion of privacy. So here she was, tucked beneath a massive tree that had branches reaching far from its base. Raelle had tucked herself among the roots, sitting on a blanket with her backpack under her leg and her battered, but beloved guitar in her lap. It had been a gift from her mother, and had taken time to grow into her, but she never gave up on it.

Music always helped ease her mind, reminding her of simpler times when she was younger. Of nights spent with her mother, learning finger placements and song, her father listening at the kitchen table, his head bobbing and smiling the same soft smile he always had as he watched them.

The same smile that had faded after her mother had died, just as Raelle’s desire to play. But as time had passed and the ache had lessened Raelle had picked up the guitar again, needing the connection to her mother and calm the instrument brought when times got to be a bit too much.

Times like right now, when homesickness hits particularly hard.

Her fingers danced over the strings as a tune coalesced in her mind.

“Those moments when the air is calm,

Those moments when the nights are long,

I close my eyes and can see you again…”

She let herself be taken by the lyrics, her voice and hands falling into perfect rhythm as everything else fell away. Music always helped center her and any of the lingering tension fell from her shoulders. It was a song she had written not long after losing her mother. When the pain was still the sharp bleed of an open wound. But over time the music helped stitch the jagged pieces of her heart together, the notes dulling the pain so now it only came as the ache of a healed break. 

“Someday,

When the days are done,

When my time has come,

I can’t wait to see you again.” 

A rustle of leaves startled her from her trance and she whipped her head up to look at whoever was intruding on her. It was a young woman, about Raelle’s own age, with glossy dark hair and almost startling blue eyes. There was a look of chagrin on her face as she shifted from one foot to the other.

“Sorry I didn’t,” The woman gave an embarrassed chuckle. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I was going for a walk and heard someone singing. That was really beautiful,” She hastened to add.

Raelle shrugged, still a bit irked at being interrupted, but the genuine remorse on the other woman’s face helped soothe her ire a bit. “S’okay. You take walks out here a lot?”

“Yeah. Nice to get away from the noise and stress. Guess we had the same idea, huh?”

“It’d seem like it.”

“I’m Scylla, by the way.”

“Raelle.” Now that the embarrassment was beginning to fade, Raelle found herself studying her intruder, taken by the almost electric sapphire of her eyes and sweet, playful smile being thrown her way. Heat of a different reason began to crawl up her neck.

“Are you studying music?”

“Um, no. I’m actually getting a degree in medicine. Kinda family tradition. This is just to relax,” She said, lifting the guitar a bit.

“That’s a shame.”

A bashful smile escaped Raelle as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“I’m glad I got to hear it though. That was a really beautiful song.”

“Thanks.”

“I should-”

“Do you-”

Both paused, then laughed a little.

“Go ahead.”

“I should probably get going. I got class in a little bit,” Scylla replied, her smile soft and almost regretful.

“Oh, okay yeah,” Raelle nodded, feeling her own regret that she tried to hide by looking down at her guitar.

“Maybe...I’ll see you around?”

This perked up the blonde’s attention and she looked up, stomach flipping as she met Scylla’s gaze. “Uh yeah. That’d be great.”

“Great. Oh here,” Scylla dug around in her backpack and pulled out a pen and scrap of paper. She jotted something down and knelt close to hand it over. Raelle hesitated a moment before taking the slip of paper. On it in beautiful cursive was ‘Scylla’ followed by her number. Raelle swallowed, hoping the gulp wasn’t as audible to Scylla as it was to her own ears. “You give your number to every girl you come across?”

“Just the pretty ones that serenade me.”

“Wasn’t really serenading you,” Raelle replied with a crooked grin, enjoying the back and forth.

“True. Maybe I can get you to do it for me another time.”

Raelle found herself tongue tied at the possibilities that sentence and the slip in her fingers were laying out. It had been some time since she had flirted with anyone, and a pretty smile from a woman was always one of Raelle’s weaknesses. And Goddess Above, if those dimples were definitely devastating for Raelle’s thought process. 

The distant chime of the belltower pulled both women back and they looked back to where the quad was, no doubt swelling with students as they rushed too and from class.

“Guess that’s my cue to leave. Talk to you later?”

“Definitely,” Raelle said, lifting the slip of paper a bit before putting it in the breast pocket of her flannel. She noticed Scylla’s eyes follow her movements before those dimples made a return.

“Look forward to it. Later.” With a wink Scylla turned and made her way back to the campus proper, leaving Raelle wondering what just happened and how soon would be too soon to text.

[forever--rain]

*hops up and down excitedly* EVER I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON HERE RN BUT FHDJKSFHA I CAME OUT OF MY CAVE TO SAY SUKKA PLAYLIST!!! DO IT DO IT DO IT I THINK WE ONLY HAVE ONE? ON SPOTIFY WHICH IS A TRAVESTY MAKE ONE PLEASE

BLUE, YOU ARE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THIS FANDOM. YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL BRAIN. I'M NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS ASK.

Footage of me creating this playlist:

Look. You guys know that I love Zutara. But I don't think you all realize that I love Sukka just as much. Their love is so pure and their vibe as a couple is just... *sigh* 💙💚💙💚💙💚 So putting together this playlist was so much fun. I'll put all explanations of songs below the cut because this reply is already long without what comes next (but you should read them because you'll get the full effect of this playlist).

All The Small Things by blink-182

Cross Me (feat. Chance the Rapper & PnB Rock) by Ed Sheeran

I Think He Knows by Taylor Swift

I Like Me Better (Spotify Studios Version) by Lauv

Ho Hey by The Lumineers

Jackie and Wilson by Hozier

Passenger Seat by Death Cab For Cutie

Stand By Me by Florence + The Machine

The Bones - with Hozier by Maren Morris

Yours - Wedding Edition by Russell Dickerson

Send me a playlist title and I’ll give you 5-10 songs I think would go on it!

All The Small Things

She left me roses by the stairs/Surprises let me know she cares

First of all, Suki would. Second of all, I firmly believe that Sokka and Suki would constantly be doing little things to show each other that they care. Sokka would send Suki his drawings and things he's carved for her. Suki would send Sokka little gadgets and pick up fun little accessories for him at the market. They'd leave out snacks for one another. And they would always, always be there to support one another 100% of the time.

Cross Me

Just know, if you cross her, then you cross me

"WHERE. IS. SUKI?"

I rest my case.

I Think He Knows

He's so obsessed with me, and boy I understand/Boy I understand

I love this song for Sokka and Suki because we all know that Sokka throws off major "THAT'S MY WIFE" vibes in regard to Suki. As he should. But if you think that badass, super cool Suki isn't also low-key super into Sokka in the same way you are wrong. She's the type of girl to totally get why he's into her. (Why wouldn't he be? DUH.) But she would also 100% be like, "Check out this hot, goofy genius! HE'S MINE. I LANDED HIM! THAT'S MY HUSBAND!!"

I Like Me Better

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me//Damn, I like me better when I'm with you

I picked this song because of the influence Suki had on Sokka's character. Their interactions on Kyoshi Island really did change him for the better. Sokka spent so much of the series lost and feeling as though he didn't belong, but Suki brought out the best in him and helped his character evolve. He saw her, this incredible warrior with a heart of gold who wouldn't take his misogynist crap, and started working to be a better person. And I think we can all agree it was awesome to see him come into his own as a strategist and warrior. A large part of that is thanks to Suki. And Sokka would acknowledge that.

Ho Hey

I belong with you, you belong with me/You're my sweetheart

I don't think this choice needs much of an explanation. Just... They belong together, you guys.

Jackie and Wilson

She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild/Laughing away through my feeble disguise/No other version of me I would rather be tonight/And, Lord, she found me just in time//She's gonna save me/Call me "baby"/Run her hands through my hair

Again, I'd like to point back to Sokka and Suki's first meeting. She comes out of nowhere, sees right through him, and it's thanks to her that Sokka changes his views on women (it takes time, of course, and loss, but he gets there). Also, the loss that Sokka experiences with Yue clearly affects his relationship with Suki in Book 2. He has to learn to be comfortable with the fact that Suki can save herself as well as him. And by the time Book 3 rolls around, we see them working together as a seamless team. He knows she has his back and she knows he has hers.

Passenger Seat

When you feel embarrassed/Then I'll be your pride/When you need directions/Then I'll be the guide/For all time

Oh, this song is so subtly Sukka. I hear these specific lines and think of Toph and Aang laughing at Sokka's Suki sand sculpture and Suki being proud of the fact that he even tried. I think of them being each other's compass, guiding light, and level head in stressful situations. They are so steady for and so true to one another. And I'm not crying, you're crying.

Stand By Me

If the sky that we look upon/Should tumble and fall/Or the mountains should crumble to the sea/I won't cry, I won't cry/No, I won't shed a tear/Just as long as you stand, stand by me

I chose this song because of how Sokka and Suki make one another stronger. They bolster each other. They face down certain death in the knowledge that their partner has their back and that's a beautiful thing. (Also, Florence Welch's voice on this track is incredibly emotive and intensifies the Sukka feels.)

The Bones

When there ain't a crack in the foundation/Baby, I know any storm we're facing/Will blow right over while we stay put/The house don't fall when the bones are good

This is my quintessential Sukka song. I always think of them older, maybe ten years after the war, when I hear this song. The two of them are as unshakeable as they've ever been. Was their first meeting great? No. But they grew together and formed something solid and real. I'm not one to advocate for childhood sweethearts or high school sweethearts (which is what they would've been in a "normal" storyline), but my god. These two would've been the teenage sweethearts who made it. They'd still be super into one another at 85 and just as in love as they'd ever been. If they had trials, they would've only pulled through stronger. These are two people who are capable of seeing past first impressions and loving one another for their true selves and... UGH. I LOVE them, okay?

Yours

I was one in a hundred billion/A burned out star in a galaxy/Just lost in the sky, wonderin' why/Everyone else shines out but me//But I came to life when I first kissed you/The best me has his arms around you/You make me better than I was before/Thank God I'm yours

Sokka said it himself: Compared to the others in the group, he didn't feel special because they could all bend and he couldn't. He lost his boomerang and had an identity crisis. That's the boy Suki met on Kyoshi Island--the boy who felt inferior to his little sister and to the Avatar; the boy who had to put on a false facade of bravado because he was scared... The boy who thought that it was a man's job to be the protector. The boy who thought a girl couldn't kick his ass purely because she was a girl.

Our girl ignited that change in him. Sokka knows full well what Suki's influence has done for him and he adores her for it. He's grateful for her impact on his life and he's obviously blown away by the fact that she loves him. You can tell it's the kind of relationship where he realized that if he was going to be worthy of her, he needed to prove it to her because she knew her worth. She wouldn't settle for a guy who thought she was inferior to him--she wanted someone who would see her as an equal. By the end of the series, she's his partner in every respect. He proves to her that he trusts her to have his back, that he trusts her judgement, that he trusts her in general.

Sokka knows that he's the best version of himself with Suki. He would 100% spend the rest of his life in awe of the fact that she loves him and that he's landed this miracle of a woman who has always seen him as an equal--even when he didn't feel equal to anyone else because he couldn't bend.

[sugarsugarmoon]

Summary: The summer that you meet Kim Taehyung proves to be a cruel summer. kth x reader

“I’m drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar. Said, “I’m fine”, but it wasn’t true. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you. And I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate.” Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

Warnings: vaginal fingering, swearing, recreational alcohol use, protected and unprotected sex, impact play, light choking, everyone’s fingers in everyone’s mouths, smol amounts of exhibitionism, oral sex (f. receiving and m. receiving)

a/n: this is mostly just a story that I wrote a bunch of my friends into. Anyway, I didn’t even read it all the way through once. It could make no sense at all. It’s my your queen of not editing and not having someone beta read. I don’t remember who else I was supposed to tag. @moonpjms @glossyfever @onherwings @softguks​ @ot7always​

WC: 18K+

You pulled up your hood then firmly tucked your arms around yourself. You ducked your head as you ran across the street through the rain. The awnings covered most of the sidewalk, but the street was uncovered, rain splattering all over the black asphalt. The neon and LED lights from the shops bouncing off the wet ground, creating a constantly changing abstract art display. You felt yourself hesitate as you were coming upon the curb because you were entranced by the dancing colors.

Leaving work this late hadn’t been your plan today, but at least you’d come prepared with a jacket, knowing that the monsoon season tended to span most of the summer. You, however, had forgotten your umbrella at home. You admonished yourself in your brain for being such an airhead today, like always. Thank God for Find My iPhone, or you’d constantly be in trouble.

You look at the sidewalk ahead of you, still glinting with the lights from the shops and business, and you sighed in exasperation upon seeing the large sections ahead of you that had no awning. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, but you were supposed to meet friends tonight at a bar in Gangnam. You were already running behind, not to mention the 30 minutes on the train that you had ahead of you. Now, you also had to worry about looking like a drowned rat, with your hair falling stringy and wet around your face.

You stand at the edge of the awning as if you’re looking down a steep precipice for your inevitable end. You stand for one more second, close your eyes, and accept your fate. Before you can take a step into the downpour, someone clears their throat behind you. You turn quickly to see a tall man with dark shaggy hair standing a little too close to you. You can’t see most of his face because he’s wearing a mask and a hat with a bill, but his eyes are sparkling just like the lights off the wet pavement.

“You look like maybe you could use an umbrella,” he says, and you can tell just from his tone that he has a smile on his face.

Normally, you wouldn’t accept help from a strange man on the street, but it’s raining and you’re late.

You sigh and say, reluctantly, “Are you going anywhere near Saetgang station?”

He shifts his weight in an energetic kind of way. “As a matter of fact, I happen to be going to Saetgang station.”

He shifts his umbrella to his left hand and holds it over you more than himself. You walk with your shoulders touching, and after about 2 minutes, he talks. He isn’t looking at you, but you still know it’s for you because no one else is around.

“You can just call me Tae, by the way.”

“Oh, thanks,” you pause, unsure if you want to give him any more information about yourself than you have to; stranger danger and all that. “I’m y/n.”

“Y/n? That’s an unusual name for around here.”

“Well, I’m originally from the States, but I moved here when I was very young. My dad worked at the consulate and my mother was an English teacher, so I’ve been here most of my life.” You realize the insane amount of detail you’ve just given him, and you shake your head at yourself. To shift focus, you snap, “Besides, Tae isn’t that common for around here anyway. If you were traditional Korean, wouldn’t your name be three syllables? Whoever heard of a traditional ‘just call me Tae.”

“Hey! Come on. I’ve got a Korean name. I would just like to have a tiny bit of anonymity, thank you very much. Not all of us are open books, Ms. my-father-works-for-the-consulate.”

“Worked.” Your tone drops, and you keep your head down as you see the stairs down to the subway before you. You thank the universe or God or whoever was listening to the shouting in your head for the awkward interaction to be over.

As soon as you are down the stairs and out of the rain, you thank him and try to scurry off. Hopefully you’ll never have to see that jerk again.

You swipe your transportation card and make your way to the platform to wait for the next train. The train from Yeoui-dong to Gangnam comes every 12 minutes, and you have the times memorized in your head. The last train had come at 7:11pm. You look down at your watch. 7:22pm. Perfect timing you think to yourself. Despite being slowed down slightly by just-call-me-Tae, you were still perfectly on time.

When the train arrives, you clamber inside around the car stuffed with bodies. You find a place to grab the railing overhead and cast your eyes at the floor of the car. It’s best to avoid eye contact on the train.

After the first stop, the people inside shift around, and the shoes in front of you now are not the same as the last pair. The person before you before was wearing black shoes, the kind that are so shiny that you could see your reflection in them. These shoes are slip on loafers with a little decorative metal clasps on top. Something about them is familiar. Oh shit.

You draw your eyes up the slender frame before you, and you take in the muscles on his chest that you hadn’t noticed before. When you finally look at his face, he has a smug, amused grin showing his teeth. You roll your eyes, and then your heart speeds up.

“Are you following me? What do you want? I don’t have any money.”

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Oh my god! No! We just happened to be on the same train! I’m meeting friends at SAHM in Gangnam, I promise!”

The panic in his tone makes you want to trust him, but you still remain wary. As his words set in, you roll your eyes again.

“Seriously? SAHM? Are you kidding me call-me-Tae?”

You know you didn’t tell him where you were going except to the station, but the fact that he says he’s going to the same bar as you seems too crazy to be coincidence.

“Yes?” he says, the surprise wiped from his face to be replaced by confusion.

“Why?” you ask to yourself in exasperation.

The train stops, and people shuffle around the car. You get pushed a little closer to the man in front of you, and you feel your cheeks redden.

“Well, my friend is hanging out with his girlfriend and her friends tonight, and they invited me and some other friends too.” He’s confused, and you want to call him an idiot for not realizing that the question wasn’t directed toward him.

He reaches into the pocket on his long, sweeping tan coat. You recoil ever so slightly from the unexpected movement.

He plucks his phone from his pocket and holds it toward you. “Dude, relax,” he laughs. “I’m not stalking you. I’m not going to murder you. You’re fine. I see you clutching that pepper spray. Use it if you need, but maybe just not in the confined train car.”

You become aware of the fact that your hand is in your purse, gripping your pepper spray, and you feel a little embarrassed. You mutter an apology.

“Look.” He holds his phone out to you.

Very clearly in the group chat he shows you are several people making plans to meet up at SAHM tonight. You roll your eyes again.

“If you keep doing that, they’re gonna get stuck like that.”

Every moment with this man is more embarrassing than the last, and you cannot wait for the ride to be over. Only one more stop before yours, and you can get off the train, mosey around the station for an inconspicuous amount of minutes before going to SAHM to meet your friends.

You ride the rest of the way to Gangnam with your eyes on anything but that embarrassing man, and he doesn’t push the conversation any further.

When the doors open, just-call-me-Tae bows slightly and says it was nice to meet you. Then he disappears into the sea of people in the station.

It’s about 30 minutes later when you finally make it to the bar, and you see your friends across the crowded space. The place has a kind of rustic feel to it, lots of wood and exposed brick. It reminds you of the hipster bars back in the states when you visited family last summer, and your cousin, Lindy, had insisted that you just had to try the new bar in town. You had a good time, but those fancy hipster drinks were stronger than you thought. You’d ended up drunk, flirting with the bartender. You even started an argument with Lindy when she refused to let you go home with a stranger in a country that you didn’t know well or speak the language perfectly.

You wriggle through the crowded bar to make your way to your friends. You smile at the sight of them all laughing and drinking together. Your friend, Rey, has her arm around the waist of a guy a little taller than her, who has a mask and a cap on, covering most of his face. You assume it’s her boyfriend, who she talks about non-stop but rarely goes into detail about.

Once you reach them, you see your friends’ beautiful faces and smile. They’re all gathered around a tall table, drinking and talking loudly. You say hello to all of your friends, hugging Rey last.

“y/n, this is Jimin. I’ve told you a little bit about him,” she shouts over the loud bar sounds, beaming up at him. She’s so precious when she’s in love.

She’s talked vaguely about Jimin for a long time, and you aren’t totally sure what his job is. You know that he travels a lot for work and that sometimes Rey goes with him. You know that she never says exactly where he lives or who his friends are or anything like that. She’s so smitten that you are so excited to finally meet him.

“Hi, Jimin. I’m so glad to finally meet you!”

You shake his hand and exchange pleasantries. His eyes are the only part of his face that you can really see, but they are full of light and excitement and joy. You feel overwhelmed by the feeling of happiness in your chest just from meeting your friend's boyfriend.

“y/n, I brought some of my friends along. Everyone else has already met them, but I’d love to introduce you.”

Jimin’s friends are all gathered together, talking and drinking. Jimin pulls each of them over to introduce them, the smile in his eyes shining above the mask. He finally pulls over a man with white shirt, when he turns, it’s undeniable that the face before you is the same one that you’d hoped to never see before. Luckily, you’re drunk and having fun, so you feel a little more relaxed.

“This is my best friend, Tae,” says Jimin. Tae shakes each of your hands, and when he gets to you, he hesitates as he says, “Nice to meet you.”

“Hi, I’m y/n,” you say, with snark dripping off your tongue.

“y/n? That’s such a unique and beautiful name.”

You blush a little bit, and you’re not sure why. You know he’s just making a joke, making up for what he said before. The alcohol pulsing through your body leaves you feeling a little hazy as you realize that you’ve been holding his handshake for too long. You yank your hand away from him and rub your cheek gently.

You turn from him and make your way back over to your friends. “y/n, you are so red!” exclaims Ahhyun.

You duck your head and cover your face with your hands. You’re just red because you’re embarrassed by Tae nothing else. You throw back the rest of your drink and track down the server to get another one.

After a few drinks, you are feeling silly and giggly with your friends. Everyone, including Jimin’s friends, decides to play a game around the table, and everyone is giggling and drinking. You’ve missed nights out with your friends like this, and for some reason, you keep finding yourself next to Tae.

Someone suggests that you all play suck and blow because apparently you aren’t actual adults with real jobs and retirement accounts. At least not tonight. You end up next to your friend Seoyeon on one side and Tae on the other. As the card goes around, you look up at Tae thinking about the fact that he has yet to remove the mask from his face. He sneaks the straw from his drink up under the bottom and drinks. You laugh to yourself at the silliness of it all.

“Are you going to be able to play with that mask on?” you ask him pointedly.

“Of course. You have no idea how strong my skills are.” He giggles and sets his drink on the table.

You finish your drink, and you feel that fuzzy feeling in your head that tells you that it’s probably time for some water. You watch the group pass the card from one person to another. Jinhee intentionally drops the card as she turns to her girlfriend, Ash, an adorable girl who is studying abroad in Seoul. You feel yourself blush as they kiss, and you melt a little bit more. You’re such a hopeless romantic, and love makes you so soft.

You get the card from Seoyeon and turn to Tae. He tries his hardest to hold the card against his mouth with his mask on, but it falls. Everyone laughs as he keeps his face close to yours.

“Oops,” he whispers. His tone hints that maybe it wasn’t an accident, but you can’t tell.

Suddenly, your mind is full of the image of you pulling down his mask and kissing his lips hard, tasting the sweet alcohol on his tongue. You want to put your hands in his hair and pull his hat off. His shirt is loose, and you long to see the shape of his chest underneath it. His collarbones are poking out of the top of his shirt, and you can see how perfectly your mouth would fit on them.

You are completely lost in the lustful thoughts when someone drops a glass on the floor, and it shatters. You realize the thoughts that you’ve been having, and you feel like the heat immediately shooting into your cheeks again. You decide to head to the bathroom to try to rinse your face with cold water. Maybe it will sober you up and keep these thoughts about Tae out of your head.

You splash the water on your face and wash your hands. This is the first time that you’ve looked in the mirror since before you walked in the rain, and you can see that your hair, while not as bad as it could be, is windblown and messy. Your fingers fumble through your hair until you get it slightly more presentable. You rinse your face once more, trying to wash away the redness in your face from the drinks.

When you stumble slightly as you exit the bathroom, and you trip slightly and grab onto the arm of the man that you trip into. You look up, and a tall gruff looking man is looking down at you.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” you mutter and try to slip away from him.

“Where are you going, cutie? You didn’t even introduce yourself yet,” he says as he grabs your wrist.

“Look, I should really get back to my friends.” You’re panicking a little, and you try to wiggle your wrist free of his grasp.

“Ah, honey, won’t you stay and chat a while with me?” he starts to pull you closer to him, and you yank your wrist away from him.

“Oh goodness, darling, there you are. I’ve been looking for you,” a male voice announces from behind you. When you whip your head around, Tae is standing there.

You scoot closer to him and grab his hand. “Sorry, babe, I didn’t mean to get lost. It’s just so crowded in here. I lost direction.”

The man who had been trying to get you to stay with him looks disgruntled as Tae pulls you into his side. Before he can say anything, Tae pulls the mask down from his face and the bill of his hat up a bit to reveal the absolutely gorgeous face before you. There’s something super familiar about it that you can’t quite place. Upon seeing his face, the guy mumbles some apologies and skulks away.

“Really? Your face scared him? That pretty thing?” you ask, drunker than you felt a minute ago.

Tae laughs and pulls his mask back up. Then something clicks in your brain. You’ve seen that face before in the subway, all over the television, all over the internet. Oh fuck.

“Thanks. I have to go,” you blurt out and slink away from him.

“Wait!” he shouts after you, but you keep moving through the crowd to your friends.

When you get to the table where you’d all been gathered and grab your bag. You say a quick goodbye to Ahhyun, seeing that Rey and Jimin are way too wrapped up in each other to notice. You slip out the front door onto the cool, wet sidewalk. Luckily, the rain has stopped, so you can walk briskly toward your apartment, your shoes slapping against the wet pavement.

When you’re a little way away from the bar, you slow your walk slightly, trying to process what just happened. Tae, who is an idol, had just attempted to protect your honor in public. Why was he even there? Shouldn’t he be...dancing or something?

You’re not sure why you’re so angry at him just for being who he is. Your ego is a little bruised in that you thought this guy might actually be interested in you, but there was no way that someone like him was going to be interested in someone like you. You’d seen the female idols and movie stars; he could have anyone he wanted.

You shake your head to try to get the image of him with a beautiful super model, laughing about the girl at the bar who flirted with him like a child by being mean to him. The sound of feet on the wet sidewalk pulls your attention away from your thoughts. You turn around, and you cannot believe your eyes. Tae is walking briskly toward you.

“You’re kidding me, right?” you blurt out, hoping he isn’t within earshot.

“Look, I know we don’t really know each other, but I felt like I connected with you in a way that I haven’t with other people,” he huffs out. “Plus, you didn’t look at me differently when you saw my face. I mean...you did, but it was almost disappointment on your face. You have to know how rare that is for me, right?”

You feel the corners of your mouth tugging back. You didn’t want to admit how beautiful you thought he was or that you thought his sense of humor was funny, but it was true. You were glad that he was here because the way it felt to stand next to him was warm and real.

“I just don’t really know what you want from me,” you say as you turn your face away from him.

There’s no way that a famous idol is standing in front of you telling you that your disappointment made him feel good. You shake your head again.

“Just...hang out with me. Just one time. It will be casual, and I don’t expect anything from you, but it’s worth it to me to try to see if we can even have a friendship. I like you. I think you’re funny.”

You blush and push your hair behind your ear. You inhale and exhale deeply, trying to slow your thoughts. You don’t want anything about your life to be in the spotlight; you don’t want to be seen in public with an idol. You don’t want to have sasaeng fans who wish death upon you for just being near their “one true love.”

“I don't know. The kind of attention you get isn’t the kind that I want in my life. I don’t want everyone in Korea knowing who I am.”

His eyes drop slightly, and his shoulders sink a little lower. “You won’t have to have that kind of attention. We have ways to make sure that you aren’t seen. We can be really careful. Come over tomorrow. We can have dinner, and I can show you that you don’t have to be in the spotlight.”

You pause and sigh. “Fine.”

You can see the smile in his eyes, and you fish your phone out of your bag. You open Kakaotalk and hand it to him. He sends himself a message and hands it back to you.

“Trust me. This is going to be fun,” he says.

“I hope so. I gotta get home though. Have a goodnight, Tae,” you mutter awkwardly.

“Thanks, y/n. I will. Thanks.”

He walks away quickly, and he turns back and looks over his shoulder once before you turn and walk away from him toward home, smiling to yourself.

*****

“Kim Taehyung!”

The shout greets Tae in the hallway as he makes his way toward the practice room the next morning. He has a little bit of a headache from drinking too much, but he doesn’t let that get him down. Tae still feels the way that it felt to hold your hand in the bar. He doesn’t want to be dramatic or anything, but he feels like you might be his soulmate. He would never say that out loud though.

The voice down the hall belongs to his manager, Minjoon, who is looking at him with disappointment in his eyes.

"Kim Taehyung, I cannot believe that you slipped your team again and spent the whole night out. At a bar, Tae? Really? What if you'd been seen? What if you'd been mobbed by people?"

Tae smiles at him, with the dreamy look still in his eyes. "But I wasn't. And Jimin was out too!"

Minjoon rolls his eyes at Tae and leads him away by the wrist.

"Yes, but Jimin took the proper precautions, and he took Beomseok with him."

Tae rolls his eyes and begins to walk away. "I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again."

His manager lets him walk away, and he feels a damper starting to fall on his good mood that he thought that nothing could ruin. He makes his way to the practice room and flops down on the floor. Jimin is in there practicing hard in the mirror, hair pushed back off of his forehead and sweat shining on his brow. He ignores Tae for a couple of minutes, focused on getting the correct moves down. Finally, he looks up and sees the lump that is Tae lying on the floor.

"What's wrong with you? I thought you had a good night last night?"

Tae flops over again, so he's turned toward the mirror, looking at Jimin's reflection in the eyes. He brings his hand up and runs it through his hair. He lets the memory of your scent sink into his brain for a moment.

"Sometimes I just get so sick of not being able to be a normal 24 year-old. Not have to take security everywhere. Not worry about the spotlight. Don't you?" he asks, feeling the desperation in his voice.

"Of course I do. My relationship would be so much easier if I was able to just be a normal guy, but I chose this life. I think that Rey loves me, so she knows that this is the way that things have to be. It can be hard some days, but it's the way it is. Plus, Minjoon-ssi shouldn't have yelled at you. Beomseok hyung was there."

Jimin walks across the room to where Tae is lying on the floor. He encourages him to stand up, and when he finally gets Tae off the floor, Jimin heads to the boombox and puts on the song "My My My" by Troye Sivan. Jimin starts dancing silly all around the room, beckoning Tae to come dance with him. Soon Tae is laughing with him, and the two are singing loudly and dancing wildly around the room. When the other members come into the room, Yoongi rolls his eyes, and Hoseok joins in dancing.

After practice, while they have time to eat lunch, Tae decides to go ahead and shoot his shot. He opens KakaoTalk and pulls up your messages. The only thing in there is a message from him to himself.

Hey, y/n, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to come over for dinner tomorrow?

Now, all that he can do is wait. Wait for you to read it. Wait for you to decide. Wait for you to respond. Even though his schedule is very busy lately with press and practices, he feels like waiting for you has been the most important thing that he's waited for in a long time.

As he waits, he eats his Kimbap quietly. Namjoon comes up to him and sits next to him.

"Hey, Tae, are you all right?" he asks gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You've been really distracted all day. Just kind of smiling into space."

Tae takes a moment to think back to his effort in practice earlier, and he realizes that his hangover and daydreams have made him noticeably less engaged than usual. Shit.

"I'm sorry, Namjoon-hyung. I will get my head back into it." He hangs his head slightly as he says it. Maybe having you come over tomorrow was not the best idea.

Namjoon sighs and wraps his arm around Tae's shoulders. "Hey, I know how you get. Just...don't put everything into this one person, okay?"

Before Tae can question it, Namjoon has gotten up to take his bowl to the staff before they start work again. He turns and looks at Tae one more time before he leaves the room to head to the studio. Tae sighs deeply and throws his head back on his shoulders. What am I even doing? he thinks to himself.

Your name shows up on his screen when he's all but resigned himself to not hearing from you. When he opens the message, he doesn’t know what else he had expected from you.

Fine.

His heart leaps slightly in his chest at the thought of it, and he smiles at his phone. Instantly, his mind is darting between all the things he wants to do and all the arrangements that he wants to make for you. For the rest of the day, he feels like he works hard enough to make up for how much he was dragging in the morning.

*******

Be ready at 8:00. I'll send a car for you.

That's not ominous at all you think to yourself. You weren't sure if this was a good idea, but you suppose if anyone can figure out how to sneak around fans and paparazzi, it's the famous idol who simply rode the subway with you last night.

You curl your hair slightly and slap on a small amount of makeup. You don't want to look like you tried too hard, but you didn't want to look like a total schlub either. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you actually are impressed. Trying not to look too long, you pull yourself away from your reflection as you start scrutinizing that your eyeliner is slightly uneven on each side. The last time that you'd done that, you had ended up with half of each of your eyelids covered in black liquid liner, and you'd had to remove the entire look at start over.

You had sent Tae your address the day before, so you assumed that you should just wait outside for the driver. The elevator ride down from your apartment is long and slow. You realize how mildewy and old the elevator smells, even though your building was built in the 80s. When the doors of the elevator slide open, you see a black town car with black tinted windows sitting in front of the front doors of your building.

You had never seen a car with such dark tint on the windows, but this must be the kind of car that Tae has to ride in all of the time to avoid being seen. You walk up to the car, your flats making your steps nearly silent through the lobby. You see your reflection in the pitch black car. A white crop top and a purple pair of cut off shorts with flats on your feet. The outfit had seemed like a perfect summer outfit that flattered all the right parts of your body without looking like you were trying too hard to be fancy or dressed up for a "date."

For all you knew, this wasn't even a date. It was just two people hanging out. While you were lost in thought, the driver of the car came around and stood next to the rear door.

"Miss y/n?" he asked in such a formal tone, that you felt taken aback. No one ever talked to you so formally. You were the youngest in your team at work, and you were so used to being everyone's dongsaeng that you didn't know what to do with all the respect he was giving you.

"Yes, thank you," you blurt out awkwardly.

He opens the door for you, and you clamber in. The ride is almost 45 minutes with traffic, there's always traffic in Seoul. You have plenty of time to think about all the ways that this could go wrong. Think about how you're going to see your face on all the gossip sites tomorrow. You hardly let yourself relax or breathe as you sit in the car. Maybe it won't be so bad. Or maybe it will be a nightmare.

Finally, the car reaches the first gate of an apartment complex, and the driver gives the man at the gate his idea. The security office records it in a big binder and waves him on.

"You'll need to get out your ID for the second gate, miss," he says back to you.

You fish your ID out of your bag and hand it up to him as he pulls up to the second gate. He hands the IDs to the security officer, who enters the information into his computer and wishes you both a good night. Wow. You didn't know what you expected, but it wasn't this. It makes sense though.

The car pulls into the garage, and after parking, the driver leads you through the concrete labyrinth. You have to check in at the front desk too and be led by someone else in a black suit to the elevator and up to the apartment.

When you get to the door, he knocks in a unique pattern and waits a moment before Tae swings the door open.

"y/n! Hi!" he exclaims. He is beaming, and the smile spread across his face is infectious.

Shit. He's so beautiful.

He leads you into the apartment where there is a chef in the kitchen who barely looks up at you. There is one man sitting in the living room, and no one else to be seen. The man on the couch turns around and grins at you, popping up out of his seat. His eyes scrunch up slightly as he smiles at you. Shit. He's so beautiful too.

"Hi, I'm Jungkook," he says as he extends his hand out to you.

You shake it, blushing. "hi, I'm y/n."

Tae seems to see the blush in your cheeks, and he puts his body slightly between you and Jungkook. You smile to yourself at the possessiveness and jealousy that he seems to feel for his roommate.

"Jungkook was just leaving. Weren't you?"

You laugh out loud at the obvious "hint" that Tae is trying to drop. Jungkook laughs too, and the two of you make eye contact.

"Actually, I wasn't. I was just going to hang out and watch TV for a little while." He gives Tae a teasing look, and Tae flushes from his neck up to his cheeks. There's a small pleading look in his eye. It must be hard for him because his whole life is surrounded by people, even though some of them are his friends.

"Oh, you know what? I actually told Laur that I would call her tonight, and I should probably go do that because I love her." Jungkook trails off slightly, making long hard eye contact with Tae. "it was nice to meet you, y/n. Have fun!"

Jungkook disappears into one of the doors down the hall. You turn to Tae after you watch Jungkook make his way away from you. Tae has a slightly hurt look in his eyes, but he tries to hide it from you with a smile.

"What? What's wrong?" you ask.

"No. Nothing. I just don't want you to feel like you can't hang out with the other members if you want to."

You grab the sides of his face and make him look at you. "I'm here for you. I agreed to hang out with you, not them."

He smiles at this and leads you to the couch. It's a huge sectional that takes up most of the room, and you follow his lead in sitting right in the middle, leaving a little space between the two of you. You are still hesitant and don't know him well. You aren't trying to cuddle up on the couch with him just yet.

He grabs the remote to turn on the TV. On the screen are the titles of literally hundreds of movies.

"We can watch whatever you want," he says in a more normal and steady tone than you've heard from him since you were on the train.

"Why don't you pick?"

He smiles huge, and from the look in his eyes as he reads each of the titles, he is in his element. Ultimately, he selects Midnight In Paris. Before he hits play, he looks at you to confirm his decision. You nod toward him gently and smile up at him. He's taller than you remember, even sitting next to you.

You watch the movie, laughing along at Owen Wilson, until the chef in the kitchen announces that food is ready. He graciously brings it to you, and there is so much to choose from you don't know what to choose. Kimchi jjigae, oi kimchi, samgyeopsal, galbi, and tons of other food are spread out on the coffee table in front of you.

"I don't know what you like...so I told him to just make some of everything. I figured you can't go wrong with the staples."

Tae sounds nervous, but it looks amazing. There's no way you could pass up a meal like this. The two of you lean over the table, watching the movie and laughing, and eat way more food than you had planned on eating.

Once you're finished, you lean back onto the couch, certain that you're going to fall asleep. Already, this has been so nice, but you realized that you've hardly talked to Tae at all. Your plan was to come here and get to know Tae better to decide if spending time with him was worth the struggle.

When the movie ends, Tae turns to you to ask what you think of the movie. You hesitate for a second.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it, but...Woody Allen?” you know you shouldn’t be starting into it the first time you’re hanging out.

His jaw drops slightly, but after a brief discussion, he agrees that it’s hard to separate the art from the artist and there are amazing directors who haven’t done even half of the terrible shit he did. You were impressed with his maturity, and you decided that you’d definitely give him a chance.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” he asks as you sit awkwardly in silence after that discussion.

You can’t think of a single reason that you should say no, and a glass of wine sounds delicious. “Yeah,” you smile. “Why not?”

Tae heads into the kitchen, and when he returns, you laugh at the comical size of the wine glass. It is roughly the size of your head, and even though it’s only half full, it is roughly the amount of two or three glasses of wine. 

“What? These are the only glasses we have,” he laughs along with you as he sets them down.

After you’ve had the entirety of one glass of wine, you are feeling lighter and looser and less awkward. You forget about the fact that Tae is one of the most famou men in the country, and you are just hanging out with your friend. The two of you talk about your childhoods and exchange embarrassing stories from high school.

You don’t feel yourself scooting closer to Tae, or maybe he’s scooting closer to you. His face is just a few inches from your face by the time you realize it, but you don’t want to move away from him.

“I’ve had a really good time with you, tonight, y/n,” he whispers, leaning even closer to you.

You can feel his breath on your lips, and you can smell his skin and his breath. The smell of the Cabernet mixed with lavender and vanilla, and it’s more intoxicating than any drink that you’ve had. The condensation his hot breath leaves on your lips makes your skin tingle. 

“I’ve had such a wonderful time, Tae.”

You close even more of the space between the two of you. There’s less than an inch in between your mouths. You can’t stop your lips from darting down to his mouth. Shit. He’s so beautiful. His mouth is a perfect pout with his pillowy lips tinted slightly darker red from the wine. When you look back up at him, his eyes are on your mouth too. You can see him tracing every curve of your lips. Your heart pounds in your ears at the thought of kissing him, touching him.

Tae moves to close the distance between the two of you. Your lips ghost across each other, but before you can fully feel the rose petals of his, you hear a key in the lock. You feel like a teenager being caught by your parents, so you jump back from him, putting at least a foot of space between you and Tae.

Tae turns toward the door and the gorgeous, thin-framed man coming through the door. Behind him is a tall, blonde girl who is stunning. Tae’s face is flushed from the wine and the embarrassment of the moment.

“Hi Yoongi-hyung,” Tae mutters as he averts his eyes. “Hi Soph.”

The man hardly acknowledges Tae, but the woman sends a warm smile Tae’s way. “Hi, Tae! How’s your date?”

Your eyes widen at the word date, and you choke slightly on the breath that you were taking in at the moment. Her eyes dart toward you, and she immediately turns pink. She immediately becomes awkward, and Yoongi turns toward her and laughs at the blush in her cheeks.

“Well, this has been sufficiently uncomfortable.” Yoongi turns to you. “Hi, I’m Yoongi. This is my girl, Soph.”

“Hi. I’m y/n, and I am, indeed, sufficiently uncomfortable.”

Yoongi laughs and then leads Soph down the same hallway that Jungkook disappeared into, entering a different door.

After they’ve been out of sight for a moment, you turn back to Tae and say, “I should actually probably head out,” rubbing your arm awkwardly, still warm in your cheeks.

Tae calls the car for you, and a few minutes later, the rhythmic little knock on the door tells you it’s time to go. Tae walks you to the door, and before it opens, he leans in and presses his lips to your cheek. A huge smile spreads across your face, and you’re sure the security agent can tell that something just happened between the two of you.

On the way out of the gates, you can see through the tinted windows the young women gathered around outside of the gates in a contained area. They are holding signs and wearing t-shirts with Tae’s name and face on them. It gives you an uneasy feeling in your stomach, but once you’re past them, you can’t help the warm feeling that is bubbling inside of you from the night.

*****

“You didn’t even kiss her?” Jimin asks, exasperated as he sits on the couch next Tae. The two sip wine together while the television plays in the background.

Tae groans and throws his head back, hand on his forehead. “I tried, but Yoongi-hyung ruined it. He came in right when I was going to.”

Jimin starts giggling uncontrollably, eyes shut tight. His laugh is infectious, and no matter how much Tae doesn’t want to laugh at his own misery, he can’t help but laugh that of course it was Yoongi who interrupted. Any of the other members would have been cool about it, but Yoongi just had to make a sarcastic comment. The two laugh for a long time, the wine pulsing through their veins. Taehyung feels grateful that they don’t have to work early tomorrow, but this was not the end to the night that he had hoped for.

Taehyung had an image in his head of him kissing you, fingers laced into your hair. He imagined what it would feel like to have your lips against his, the smoothness of them and how pert they are. You would have leaned closer to him and run your fingers over his neck. He would have slowly moved his hand up your leg, feeling your skin up to the frayed hem of your shorts.

Tae feels himself hardening in his loose linen pants and adjusts himself awkwardly. The thing about these loose flowy pants is that while sitting down, they don’t hide anything. He looks over to make sure that Jimin didn’t see, and when he’s confident that he didn’t, he relaxes slightly.

“I’m going to though,” he states.

“You’re going to what?” Jimin asks.

“I’m going to kiss her. I’m going to make her mine.” A smile stretches across his lips, and he sinks back into the couch to watch the rest of the show with Jimin.

*******

Three weeks after hanging out at Tae’s, you are sitting at your desk looking over an expense report that someone messed up the spreadsheet for. Everything in one of the columns is one row off, and you are trying to fix it and all of the equations.Your phone vibrates next to you, and you welcome the distraction from the tedious work.

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face as you see Tae’s name appear on the screen. Though you hadn’t seen him in person since the day that you went to his place, you were able to text everyday and video chat a few times. Things with Tae felt simple, like he was your oldest friend in the world. You couldn’t believe how well he knew you even after such a short time of knowing you.

Tae: Tonight?

What a vague message. What did he want tonight? To video chat? To hang out? For you to do your laundry?

You: Tonight will be Thursday night, yes.

You are always a little sassy with him, and he dishes it right back. The dynamic that you’ve built between the two of you is natural. You’re pretty sure this what people mean when they say that two people have chemistry, though you’ve never really understood the expression.

Tae: Oh thank goodness. I thought it was Saturday, and I’m busy Saturday.

Tae: Since it’s Thursday, do you want to hang out tonight?

You smile. You’ve been looking forward to seeing Tae since the last time, and you want to be able to pick up where you’d left off before Yoongi had interrupted the two of you. After video chatting with Tae several times, you learned that’s just sort of Yoongi’s M.O. if he interrupts anything. Be awkward and sarcastic then move on. A solid technique.

You: I guess I can pencil you in.

Tae: Excellent. Be ready at 6.

You look at the clock, and it reads 3:30pm. You only have 2.5 hours before you’re supposed to do god knows what with Tae, and you know that you are not looking your best. You figure you can leave at 4:00 if your boss doesn’t see you and you ask Aecha to cover for you.

When she agrees, you thank her profusely, slip your purse off the back of your chair, and head out the door. You get out without any trouble and walk briskly toward your apartment building. Your head is swimming with the idea of seeing Tae and the possibilities for the evening. You’re trying not to get too ahead of yourself, but all you can see in your mind’s eye is the shape of his body.

It’s been months since you were even interested in a man. You’re most recent ex, Yongsoon, had been a delightful man, but he was so boring and predictable. You never felt challenged by him. You never felt like he was that passionate about anything. You’d ended things, and even during the break up, he’d seemed so apathetic about the whole thing.

Tae didn’t feel like that. He was bright and vibrant. He had so many passions, from art to film to fashion. He made you feel like you could shine as bright, reach as high as you wanted. He also made you feel like you wanted to see what was underneath his whole clothes.

You shake your head as you unlock the door to your apartment. Stop being lustful, y/n! You rush around your apartment, trying to make your hair and make up look better. You decide that tonight, you’d like to wear a skirt. In the heat of mid June, you wanted to be able to move freely. Plus you loved the way that your black skater skirt swished when you walked or twirled. On top, you wear a purple shirt, tied up at the waist.

When your phone turns over to 6:00, you take one last look in the mirror, grab your bag, and try not to sprint down the stairs. Outside, once again, you can see the black town car with tinted windows waiting for you. The sight of it makes your heart leap a little, and you smile again. Everything about Tae makes you smile.

The driver meets you at the rear door, and he lets you into the vehicle. Expecting it to be empty, you jump a little upon seeing a figure inside. Sitting on the driver's side seat, Tae is wearing black slacks, a button up shirt, and beret-type hat. He has his mask pulled down around his chin, and he’s beaming at you. You climb in next to him, mumbling a hello as you get comfortable.

“Didn’t expect me to be here, did you?” he asks, with a sly grin on his face.

“I honestly didn’t know what to expect. You just told me to be ready. You didn’t even tell me what.”

He laughs, amused at his own vagueness. “It’s best if you only know what you need to know.”

“Well, can I know where we’re going now?”

He smirks at you and then announces, “We’re going to Ihwa Mural Village!”

He can’t be serious. A public place? While it’s light outside? With an idol? You start to panic as you think about all the possibilities of things that could go wrong. He could get rushed by people. You could get hurt. He could get hurt. It was far too risky.

Seeing the panic in your eyes, he blurts, “Don’t worry! I went the safe route this time. I have security who are going to be there, and we should be in the clear. They’ve cleared it out for a filming. We did everything we needed to keep us safe.”

You relax slightly, but you still know that people crowd around movie sets and things like that on the street. You know that Tae would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but you are terrified.

“Hey,” he grabs your hand and squeezes it with his. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

The feeling of his warm palm in yours is comforting and feels like home. You wiggle your fingers slightly, just to take in the sensation of each of his between each of yours. 

“Okay. I trust you,” you mutter, trying to believe your own words.

The car pulls up into an area that you’ve seen before and know is usually crowded. This time, there are only three men outside, all wearing black jeans. Tae pulls up his mask and pulls down the brim of his hat. You pull your mask over your face, wishing you’d known to bring a hat with you today, but hoping everything would be fine.

After a while of walking on the deserted street, looking at murals, making jokes, and taking pictures, you get lost in the moment with Tae. You let yourself breathe into the way that his hand feels in yours, the warmth of his body next to yours. His scent is soft and subtle, just like him.

After about an hour of walking around Ihwa, he asks if you’re hungry. You smile broadly at him, but quickly realize that half of your face is covered with cloth. 

“Yes, I am starving!” you exclaim, feeling the hunger pangs in your stomach for the first time. You had been so distracted with Tae that you forgot that you hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

Tae laughs, and he leads you back to where the car was parked. The driver lets both of you into the car, and Tae thanks him by name. He slides over to the seat in the middle and wraps his fingers around your knee while you ride together. You feel him slowly creeping closer to you, and you know that if you turn it’s all over. Isn’t this what you want?

While driving through a tunnel, you turn your face to see Tae’s. His eyes are searching your face, and you can’t resist it anymore. You move toward him and press your lips to his. It’s soft and sweet, and he moves his mouth slowly, positioning his bottom lip between yours. You shift slightly, so you can turn toward him more. He wraps his hands into your hair, running his fingers along your scalp. Your hand traces its way over his shirt along his collarbone. You can feel the heat growing between your legs, but you become aware of the third person in the car.

You pull away, panting slightly, and drop your head, cheeks burning. You can’t wipe the stupid grin off of your face if you wanted to, but you don’t care because the way that Tae’s mouth felt against yours is burned into your brain forever. You’ll never forget how he melted like chocolate on your lips. Or how he tickled your scalp just right while his exhales made the peach fuzz on your face stand on end. Your senses feel heightened after kissing him, and you know that you want to do it again.

The two of you ride the rest of the way in silence, with your fingers entwined on top of your knee, and you can’t help but think that this is maybe the beginning of something wonderful.

When you get to the gate of the apartment complex, you try not to look at the crowd of people who are wondering if Tae is in fact inside this car. You pull your ID out of your wallet, and Tae pushes your hand down.

“You only have to do that when you aren’t with me.”

Once inside, he leads you to the apartment. Before he opens the door, he turns you around to face him. You’re looking up at his perfect face. He is so smooth and symmetrical, and you feel so homely next to him. He plants his hands on the wall behind either side of your head, and he leans down to you. He gives you a quick kiss on the forehead. Then the nose. Then each cheek. Then the lips. It’s so soft and sweet that you think you’re going to melt or explode or both.

He unlocks the door and leads you inside. In the kitchen, a chef is preparing food again.

“Dude, how do you do that?” you gawk at the man working in the kitchen.

“Do what?” He follows your eye line and laughs. “Oh, Bonhwa-ssi? I texted in the car. He works for us, and he’s the greatest guy ever.”

Bonhwa looks at the two of you briefly, then he goes back to chopping and preparing. You can see that this meal is a little different from the last one, but you are so excited to eat anything that your mouth starts to water.

The two of you hang out at the dining room table until Bonhwa brings over the hamburgers and sides he’s prepared. Tae is smiling at his food, and you get to see him just as he is. One bite in, and you know that you’ve never had a hamburger this good before. You try to force yourself not to eat too fast, but you can only restrain yourself so much because it is so good.

After you eat, the two of you sit at the table just staring at each other for a while. You feel a little sleepy, but you don’t want to miss a moment with Tae.

“Do you want to see my room?” Tae asks awkwardly.

You aren’t sure if he genuinely wants to show you his room or if this is his awkward attempt at getting you into a more private space. On both fronts, you are more than happy. You want to see the inward private space that’s kept only for Tae, not for the public figure. And you would be more than happy to have some private time with Tae because you can’t stop thinking about the way he felt against you.

You nod, and he pushes back his chair from the table. He helps you up onto your feet and leads you by the hand down the hallway. He opens the third door in the hallway, and upon entering the room, you feel Tae in every inch of the room. In the corner are canvases, blank and painted, stacked in the corner, and an easel stands tall above them. A desk sits in the other corner, scattered with pens and pencils. It looks like he’s been brainstorming or planning or writing, and to the small messes side there is a nice desktop computer. You don’t know too much about gaming computers, but you do know when you see a nice one. This one is definitely a nice one.

His bed is made with a gray comforter on top, and there are lamps on either bedside table. He flicks them on quickly and shuts off the overhead light.

“I hope you don’t mind. I just like the ambient light better,” he says quietly, making his way across the room to you.

Every picture in the room draws your attention. There’s one large painting on the wall. It looks like an acrylic painting done with a palette knife. It’s beautiful, and the muted colors swirl together to create intricate patterns.

“This is so beautiful, Tae. Did you do this?”

He chuckles a little and sneaks in behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I wish. No, I bought this one. I hope someday to be able to do that.”

Seeing the things that Tae loves and hearing his aspirations as an artist fill your heart with warmth. His fingers sneak along the top hem of your skirt, tickling your skin and make you shiver in place. You let him continue to do it, and you drop your head back against his shoulder.

He pulls you closer against him, your back flush against his chest, and you can feel the growing stiffness in his pants against your ass. You smile. Knowing that you made Tae excited like that causes your chest to swell with pride. 

He has the option of any woman in Korea and probably the world, and he is choosing you right now. His fingers continue to dance along the skin of your waist and the top of your skirt. They slowly dip under the waistband, tracing small circles under the fabric. You can’t control the small moan that leaves your mouth when his fingers creep into the waistband of your panties.

He exhales sharply, and you feel him press against you. His other hand makes its way to the bottom of your shirt and ghosts underneath the cotton. You are rapt in the smell and the feel of him. You never want anything but his soft skin to be touching you again.

“Is this okay?” he whispers into your ear before he continues.

“Yes, it’s so much more than okay.” You turn your head, and your lips find one another. This time the kiss is desperate and pleading. It feels like if you don’t kiss him without enough passion, he won’t know how badly you want him. All of your desires try to escape off your tongue, dancing against his. Your hands try to find purchase on his hips, and you grip him on the top of his pants. One hand slides to the bulge that’s pressing against his pants and against you. His cock is hard and thick, and you immediately feel wetness pooling in your panties the second you touch it.

All you can think is how badly you want that cock in your hand, in your mouth, in your pussy. You want all of him tonight, even though you know it’s a little improper. Tae’s fingers dip all the way into your panties while the other hand finds your nipple. He gently pinches it between his index finger and thumb. He rolls it carefully, and the arousal shooting to your core is almost overwhelming. His other hand is tracing small circles through the wetness between your legs. He slides his fingers up and down your slit from your entrance to your clit. He moans a deep, low groan into your neck.

His wrap around the skin on your neck, teeth nipping at you. His breath is hot on your neck, and you lean further into him. He slips one finger into your entrance, and you inhale sharply. He begins a slow pace with his finger inside of you, just barely giving you what you crave before pulling back out again.

His teasing sets you off. You turn around to him and kiss him hard, caressing his tongue with yours. You drop to your knees before him and glance up at him, smiling, before your fingers undo the button on his slacks. Once you have his pants undone, you yank them to the floor. His cock is pleading to escape the confines of his underwear and who are you to deny it. When you pull him out, your mouth immediately waters at the sight of it. It’s thick and smooth, and you cannot wait any longer to have it inside of you. 

You let one droplet of spit fall slowly from your mouth onto the shaft of his cock. You use your tongue to swirl the wetness around it, making him slick for you to take him all the way in. Your hand wraps around the base, and, as you look up into his eyes, you slide him into your mouth. With his cock inside your mouth, you use your tongue to massage the head, slowly flicking it around the tip. Tae groans.

His hand slides into your hair, gripping it firmly. You bob your head up and down slowly, taking in all that you can, using your hand to rub it up and down as you take it into your throat. You press your face against his pubic bone, the hair tickling your nose slightly, and Tae’s hips thrust slightly further down your throat. You gag around him, and he moans again. You moan around him, knowing the vibration will feel good, plus you are so beyond turned on.

You feel his cock pulse slightly in your mouth, hardening further. He pants and uses your hair to pull your mouth away from him.

“Fuck, you make me feel so good. I’m going to cum too fast.”

You smile at his words, using your tongue to wipe the spit off of your fingers. His eyes widen and he pulls you up to his level. “Get over here.”

Tae picks you up and throws you gently against the bed. He stands above you and rips his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside. His fingers slide up your thighs and loop around the waistband of your panties. He pulls them off, leaving your skirt on.

“You’ve been teasing me all day in this skirt, haven’t you? You knew how good you looked in it when you were getting dressed.” He’s panting a little and his hair is sticking to his forehead slightly at the sweaty spots.

The gruffness of his voice and his words are making you a wanton mess for him. You know that you look good in this skirt. You know that it’s pretty short and shows off your legs. You, however, did not know that it would have this effect on Tae. With your panties thrown aside, he pulls your shirt over your head, revealing the lilac lace bralette that you have on underneath.

“Fuck,” Tae whispers to himself, eyes raking over every inch of your tits.

Tae climbs on top of you and plants his lips against your neck. He’s teasing the delicate skin and leaving little nips all over your chest and collarbone. His mouth makes its way down to your breasts, and he pulls each one gingerly out of the cups of the bralette. He marvels at them for a moment  then takes your right nipple into his mouth. You moan immediately, having extra sensitive nipples.

“Tae,” you moan out, hand lacing into his long dark hair. “Please.”

He looks up at you smiling. “Please what, darling?”

“Please....” you’re a little embarrassed to say, but you’re too turned on to care. “Please fuck me.”

He growls in his chest and pushes himself away from you. At first you think that you’ve offended him, but then he opens the drawer of his bedside table. He pulls out a condom, holds it up, and smiles at you. You take it from his hand, tearing the packaging to get the little latex shield out. Rolling it on to his cock, you can feel how hard he is, and you get even more aroused, looking at it and feeling it.

Once the condom is in place, Tae lies you back on the bed. He aligns himself with your entrance, and before he pushes himself inside of you, he asks, “You’re sure this is okay?”

You blush slightly because you did just moments ago beg him to fuck you, but you smile up at him. “Yes, Tae. I am so so okay with this. Please.”

He smiles and pushes himself slowly inside of you. Your eyes meet his as he hovers above, his eyes growing in intensity. His thrusts are rhythmic and deliberate, and you can’t believe that you feel like you’re going to cum already. Your fingers claw at his back, and you know that you’re leaving little scratch marks behind.

Soon, he pulls his cock almost all of the way out of you and thrusts it back inside, less gently than before. Your hands, unable to control themselves, grip firmly on his arms. You can feel how wide your eyes are, and you gasp for air as he does it again. Your head is growing foggy, and you feel yourself hurtling toward your orgasm, unstoppable. 

Your pussy pulses around his cock, and Tae moans out your name. The sound of your name falling off his lips while he’s inside you is enough to send you over the edge. You feel the muscles in your pussy contracting, and your clit feels like it’s covered in warmth. The orgasm tears through you, and your mind goes completely blank, only pleasure exists.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight,” Tae pants out. As you come down from your orgasm, he starts thrusting faster and less rhythmically.

“Cum for me, Tae. Please,” you say, and that’s all it takes to send Tae over the cliff. He moans deeply and spills inside of the condom with his buried deep inside of you. His breathing is rough and jagged, and you can feel all of his muscles clenching. You run your fingernails gently over his back as he comes down. The two of you stay there wrapped in each other for a moment.

With a sigh, Tae pulls his softening cock out of you. He slips the condom off and tosses it into the trash. “Stay here,” he says and disappears into the bathroom.

At this moment, you’re very glad that all the guys don’t have to share one bathroom. When he returns, it looks like he’s washed his face and gotten all the wetness off his cock. He tosses you a warm, wet cloth.

“You can use that bathroom if you need to.” He points from where he just came, and you smile at him, popping up off the bed to go take care of yourself.

When you come back out of the bathroom, Tae is standing there in his underwear, looking much more shy than his behavior just minutes ago.

“Just so you know, I wasn’t planning on that happening. I don’t want you to feel like I just brought you here for that.” He rubs the back of his neck and looks at you through his eyelashes.

“Tae, it’s okay. I really enjoyed it.”

“I just don’t want you to think that I’m just trying to use you or something. I’m not like that. I really care about you.”

You don’t know how to comfort him or make him feel validated. You hadn’t at any point in time thought that he might be using you. You’d been having filthy thoughts about him since the train ride that first night. You cross the room to him and throw your arms around him. Your fingers run through his hair at the nape of his neck.

“Tae, I asked you to fuck me. I wanted this more than I care to admit. You looked so good in that outfit today. I couldn’t help myself.”

He wraps his fingers into your hair and pulls your head back gently. He angles your head so that your mouth is free for him to kiss. He presses his mouth hard against yours. Your lips are swollen and bitten, but you kiss him back with all the affection that you're feeling. You part your lips for his tongue as it snakes back into your mouth. You feel yourself getting aroused again, and you laugh into Tae’s mouth.

“Tae, I worked all day. I kind of want to just take it easy,” you say against his mouth, immediately regretting it when his breath is no longer on your lips.

He laughs and pulls you into a hug then lets go. He walks over and picks up your shirt for you. You still have your skirt sitting on your hips where he left it, and you adjusted your bra in the bathroom. With your shirt adjusted on you, you watch Tae put on a shirt and a pair of loose comfy pants.

“Want to watch a movie?” he asks.

You smile up at him, taking his hand. “As long as it isn’t Woody Allen.”

***

After that night in Tae’s bedroom, whenever the two of you are together, you struggle to keep your hands off of each other. Whether you’re in the kitchen at the apartment, in the car together, or in Taehyung's room, you are touching each other somehow.

Being with Tae feels amazing when you’re together, but it’s hard because he is so rarely around, and you can’t have normal dates with him. After about 3 months of talking, you’ve only seen each other a few times. You feel grateful for the time that you have with him, but half the time he is too exhausted to do more than lie on the couch or in his bed together.

You love the way that Tae makes you feel, but you don’t love the way that you feel when you see him on some gossip site. You know they’re just fishing for whatever story they can get, and his name gets clicks. It still doesn’t feel good. You have mixed feelings about everything in your relationship, but you keep it to yourself.

One Friday afternoon, Tae texts you to make plans for the weekend. You see the text, but you are swamped with work and ignore it. Two hours later, he texts you again, asking if you’re angry with him.

You: No. I’m not angry. I’m just busy. What’s the plan?

Tae: I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight. I’m taking you to dinner.

Tae: AND BONUS! You can stay over tonight if you want.

You haven’t been able to stay the night at Tae’s place throughout your whole relationship because he has manager’s coming in early every morning. The other member’s girlfriends tend to leave around the same time that you do, and you’ve made friends with some of them. You feel your heart flip slightly as you read the words. You smile to yourself, trying to plan what cute jammies you’re going to take and then not wear.

When Tae picks you up, you’re wearing a dress with lace panties underneath. You made yourself up a little bit, but you figured you didn’t need to dress too nicely since dinner with Tae was always just at his house. When the driver, Beoseon, opens the door, you are taken aback by the site of Tae in a suit. He looks deadly, and you feel sinful just looking at him.

“Wow. I feel underdressed,” you say as you kiss his cheek.

“No way. You look amazing!” he says as he gives you a cheeky look that you have grown to recognize from him. “I have a special plan for us tonight.”

The two of you are all smiles in the car, hands searching each other. You hook your fingers into the waistband of his trousers, and you sneak your way into his pubic hair, resting at the base of his cock. You don’t wrap your hand around it, don’t grab on to it. Instead, you just run your fingernails gently over the skin through the hair. Teasing Taehyung is one of your favorite things because he’s normally silly and mild mannered, but as soon as he gets aroused, he becomes a determined little demon.

Tae sits still, smirking over at you while you tease. You can feel him growing harder, but he doesn’t reveal any of it on his face. Working Tae up just means that things are going to be better for you later. You smile to yourself thinking of all the things that the two of you could do.

“So, what are we having for dinner tonight?” you ask casually, as your fingers caress his cock gently, and you look up at him.

“Like I said, I have something special planned. It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you. Though, if you keep that up, I’m gonna have something else in store for you too.”

The car turns a different way than it usually would to take you to Tae’s place, and you look at him with surprise. He has only taken you out the first time when you went to Ihwa Village. You’d had so much fun wandering around looking at the art with him, but you were worried about being in a public place. It was Friday night. Places would be busy. People would be walking wherever you went.

The car pulls into a service parking lot under the Horim Art Center, and you look at Tae confused. You go in through the employee entrance and take the elevator up. When you walk through the doors of the restaurant, the entire place is empty except a server, a bartender,and the kitchen staff. You turn to Tae and smile. He takes your hands in his and pulls you along to the table.

“Only the best for you, jagiya.”

The man leading you to the table pulls out a chair for you and then for Tae. This place is so fancy, and you feel a lot underdressed in your summer dress. You feel like this is the kind of place that you need to be dressed to the nines in high heels with your hair actually done instead of messily curled when you got home from work.

“Kim Taehyung, you did not tell me that I needed to be dressed for a place like this,” you glare at him.

He laughs. “y/n, you do not need to be dressed up. It’s just you and I here. We aren’t trying to impress anyone.”

“Well, maybe I’m trying to impress you,” you coo, trying to use your seductive tone on him.

Realizing that it’s just the two of you in the restaurant, you are determined to get him worked up. You slide your hand sneakily under your dress, and Tae quirks his eyebrow at you. You remove the black lace in one swift movement and the reach under the table to place it in Tae’s hand. It’s a little more awkward than you’d pictured, but it does the trick when the warm fabric hits his hand. You see his eyes widen at the feeling of them.

“Is someone feeling a little naughty?” he asks.

You wink at him and open your menu like nothing just happened. The food on the menu is all super expensive, and you are taken aback by the prices on it. You wouldn’t spend this much on dinner, opting instead to just go to the barbecue by your house. You look at Tae, and he’s smiling softly at you, an intimacy in his eyes that you haven’t seen before.

The waiter comes over and Tae orders wine for you, and you order your food.

“Tae, you shut down this whole restaurant just for me?”

“Of course not. That’s absurd.” When you cast him a confused look, he smiles. “I shut down the whole museum.”

You can feel the heat in your cheeks as the flattery overwhelms you. You know that he’s rich and famous and can do things like this but still.

“We can eat and take in some of the museum...then go back to your place maybe?” he asks.

What? What is happening? I thought he said you could stay the night with him, not him staying the night with you.

“What?” you blurt out after finishing your sip of wine.

“I’ve just never seen where you live. Not in person anyway. I just want to feel what it feels like in a space that you created.”

Your heart feels like it’s going to fucking explode. You absentmindedly start running your foot up the inside of Tae’s leg, and you reach for his hand across the table. He grabs yours loosely with one hand, and the other hand snags your foot and pulls it up toward his crotch. While the waiter delivers your food, Tae slides your shoe off, and you press your foot gently against the bulge in his pants. You can’t even start eating yet you are so focused on the way that Tae feels in your hand and against your foot.

You adjust the way that your fingers are intertwined and move both of your hands toward your mouth. Your tongue creeps out of your mouth, and you lick up the length of his pointer finger. With a satisfied little smile, you pull your fingers away and sink your whole mouth down onto the finger, sucking slowly up the length of it, staring into his eyes. There is a fire behind his eyes, and he growls a little under his breath.

“Filthy girl. We should eat dinner, and then you can tease me some more.”

“Though this food looks amazing, it’s not really what I’m craving right now, Tae,” you pout.

“Tell you what. If you eat your dinner like a good girl, you can come sit in my lap.”

Tae chuckles to himself, placing your foot on the floor, adjusting himself, and picking up his chopsticks to eat. He looks like he’s proud of the comment he’s just made, and you roll your eyes at him. You can’t deny that the comment sent heat straight to your core, but you don’t like proving him right.

You straighten your napkin in your lap and begin to eat. You look at him through your lashes, but you make sure to hold your posture perfectly like you are unaffected by his comment. The two of you eat silently for a few minutes before picking conversation back up.

When you finish eating, Tae takes you on a tour through the whole museum. He shows you all of his favorite exhibits, and the two of you spend much of the time laughing and kissing. You aren’t sure if he’s forgotten that he has your underwear in his pocket or if he’s just biding his time, but you love the little game that you’re playing.

By the end of the evening, your heart is full to bursting with the love for the man with you, and you don’t ever want to let go of his hand.

“Tae…” you pause.

He raises his eyebrows and looks at you with that curious, dark stare of his, and you feel like you’re going to melt.

“You feel like home.”

The smile that rips across his face feels like the first warm day of the spring. It wraps you up in its comfort, and you feel yourself falling even deeper for him in that moment. There are things about his life that you don’t love, but you know that you love him.

“y/n, no one has ever felt more like home to me than you do.”

You can’t control yourself, and you throw your arms around him, pulling him tightly against you while you kiss his lips. This kiss feels different, like the first kiss after saying I love you. But I love you means so many different things to so many different people, and the feeling of being home feels right to you.

Later that night, you are lying naked on Tae’s bed, hair tousled, feeling exhausted. You and Tae are having your designating scrolling time on your phones, and you hear him whisper, “Oh fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” you ask him softly, worried that something has come up with the band.

“I-I have to go.” He shoots up off the bed and throws a pair of pants on quickly before darting to the door.

You look flabbergasted at him, worried that something is really wrong.

“I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

He disappears out the door, and you’re left to wonder what you should even be doing.

*********

“This is so bad,” Tae groans as he holds his head.

He’s pacing in the kitchen while Jimin is trying to comfort him.

“Honestly, it can’t be that bad. The company will take care of it. There were only so many people there, they’re going to find who did it.”

“It’s….just...these pictures are bad, hyung. They’re really bad. Look.”

He hands his phone to Jimin whose eyes widen upon seeing the pictures on the screen. Tears are starting to roll down Tae’s cheeks, and he looks at Jimin wildly. Jimin wraps his arms around him and holds him closely. Neither man is really sure what to do.

On the screen of Tae’s phone are several slightly grainy photos of him in the restaurant earlier that night. Your face is completely visible, and your tongue is running along his finger in one of them. His finger is in your mouth in another.

“This is so bad,” he sobs out. “I can’t believe I did this to her.”

While Jimin is telling him to just breathe, you emerge from Tae’s room, hair messily thrown up. You look confused and as soon as you see the tears in Tae’s eyes, you run to him.

“y/n, I fucked up,” he whispers.

“Tae, it’s going to be okay. Shhh. Breathe through it. Tell me what happened.”

The way that you’re looking at him with so much concern in your eyes about something that he’s done to you, the last thing that he ever wanted to happen to you, something he promised wouldn’t happen. He can’t say it, so he just picks up his phone and hands it to you.

“What the-” you trail off as you look at the pictures retweeted by hundreds of thousands of people already.

Your face turns white as you look up from the screen at Tae. Your expression is grim, and he can’t tell if you’re angry or sad or numb. He’s so worried about what you’re going to say as you look at him. Instead of saying something, you turn and walk down the hall back into his room. He looks puzzled at the door, unsure what the hell you’re doing.

You return with your bag that you brought to stay the night and your phone in hand. You don’t look at him as you walk out the front door of the apartment.

“Wait, y/n, wait!” he shouts after you, taking off down the hallway.

Jimin catches him and holds him firmly in place, deceptively strong for his size.

“You have to let her go. You have to let her handle this on her own.”

The hot tears are gushing from Taehyung’s eyes, and he feels like a volcano of devastation is erupting out of him. He isn’t sure he’s ever sobbed this hard and definitely not in the last few years. His stupidity and carelessness caused you to be photographed with him. He is the reason that risque pictures of you are now online. He knows that the company will catch them, if they haven’t already, but it’s not consolation for the cost of losing you.

******

Your chest heaves as you ride in the back of the car. Beoseon is silent, but you can see his eyes flitting back to you in the rearview mirror every couple of minutes. You wish it wasn’t such a long trip home. You just want to get out and walk and feel the cool air on your face. This car is suffocating, the air inside stale and recycled. You ride in the back of the car until you can’t take it anymore. Beoseon pulls over and lets you out, and you take off briskly down the sidewalk.

You breathe in the humid midsummer air, and you think that this has to be a joke. Taehyung and Jimin had to be playing the worst prank of all time on you. He was going to call you any moment and tell you “gotcha! Jimin took them!”

It wasn’t though. You weren’t going to get that call because you say the tweet. You saw the retweets. You didn’t even want to think about the comments on it. You just want to go home and become one with your bed. You wonder if The Secret applies to becoming furniture.

You wonder to yourself why Tae hasn’t even texted you yet. You feel like this would be one of those things that he would continually text you about like that time that he thought he’d made you angry when you were arguing about mint chocolate ice cream. This was a much bigger thing than fucking ice cream, and now, radio silence.

You turn the corner, and the breeze against your skin feels calming. You can feel yourself sweating, and you realize you left your underwear at Tae’s house. You don’t even care. You left your dignity in the restaurant when you had your lips wrapped around his finger. How could you be so stupid? Nothing is private. Especially not when you’re with him.

The tears come again as you make your way up the stairs to your apartment. It’s only a matter of time before you’re getting calls from people. It doesn’t say your name anywhere, but you know how stan twitter works. They’ll find anyone and dox them.

Once in your apartment, you strip down and put on your comfiest sweater and sweatpants. The air conditioning makes you feel as chilly outside as you do inside. You can’t believe this is happening. You can’t believe you let this happen. You curl up on your bed on top of the covers and fall asleep, face wet from the tears soaking into your pillow.

You didn’t leave the house or go online all weekend. Instead opting to clean your entire apartment and reorganize your entire bedroom. You felt a little better being away from the situation. You felt worse knowing that Tae hadn’t called or texted at all. It seemed like he’d completely resigned himself to you leaving and wasn’t going to fight for you at all.

You had resigned yourself to showing your face at work on Monday, and you hoped that you would have a normal day. When you walked into the building, everything was completely normal, almost everyone ignoring you, and you feel hopeful.

The work day ends, and the only conversations that you’ve had have been about spreadsheets and the copier. You heave a sigh of relief as you walk outside. You never thought that it would be so easy to get away with dating an idol. Maybe his company took care of it? Maybe you were lucky, and no one recognized you.

Tuesday is a different story. It starts with glances from the other girls in the office.

Wednesday, Aecha comes up to you and stares at you for a minute before you turn to her.

“Can I help you with something?” you ask, thinking maybe she needs help with a task.

“Do you really know Kim Taehyung?” she asks, eyes wide, nervously holding onto her left arm with her right.

You roll your eyes. You knew this couldn’t last.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say, with no expression on your face.

“There are just these pictures and...they really look like you.”

Her nervousness is palpable, and you feel your hands getting clammy. You had already decided that if anyone asked about it you would deny deny deny.

“Well, maybe I’ve just got one of those faces.” You shrug and turn back to your computer.

Aecha stares at you for a moment longer, but then she sighs a nevermind and walks away. After she’s gone, you let out an exhale of relief, but you are hoping that she’ll spread the word to the rest of the women at the office. You hope that no one thinks it’s you. Such lewd behavior in public could lead to you being fired.

That night is when the notifications start. Thousands of them every hour. Eventually, you turn your phone on to airplane mode just to get away from them. This. This is what you were afraid of. You decide not to read of the messages, fearing that the content could be detrimental to your already fragile psyche.

You get a phone call from your boss telling you that you should probably take the rest of the week off, and the two of you will talk about next steps when you return on Monday. You knew at that moment that your life wouldn’t be the same. You wished you had someone to talk to about it. That’s when you remember that Rey has been seeing Jimin for almost a year. There’s no way that she hasn’t been exposed if you have after a few months.

You find her number in your contacts. Afraid to turn on your phone, you hesitate slightly then swipe the screen to allow connectivity. You ignore all the badges on every app you have and call her.

You can hear voices in the background when you call her, but she sounds relieved to hear from you.

“y/n hi!” she exclaims, a little too eagerly upon picking up.

“Hey, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Of course I do,” she says to you. You hear her whisper off to the side, “shut up, it’s y/n.”

There are muffled whispers on the other end. “Oh, I can talk to you later if you’re busy.”

“No, no. I’m not busy. I want to talk to you.”

“Did you hear about the pictures?” you ask meekly. 

“I did. Yeah. I saw. I’m so sorry, y/n. How are you holding up?”

“I honestly don’t know what to think. I don’t feel that bad about it in general. I haven’t read any of the messages, and I haven’t had too much happen in person either. The worst part is that I haven’t even talked to Taehyung since that night. I just don’t even know where we stand. Is he embarrassed? Is he in trouble? Does he want nothing to do with me anymore? I thought I knew what I wanted, but it’s hard when I have no one to talk to about it.”

She pauses for a moment, and you look down at your phone to see if you dropped the call.

“All I can say is this. It’s going to be hard and trying and challenging. Sometimes he’s going to be gone for months at a time. Sometimes he’s going to be too tired to talk. Sometimes people who think they’re meant to be with him are going to hate you. I decided that it didn’t matter. As long as I had Jimin, I could make it through anything. I loved him too much to not fight for him.”

Her words hit you in your heart, and you immediately start crying. You thank her and hang out the phone. You lie down on your bed staring at the ceiling for a long time, and you aren’t sure at what point you drift off to sleep.

*****

“Kim Taehyung!” a shout echoes down the hallway.

“Why is everyone always yelling my fucking name?” Tae grumbles to himself.

He stands up from his bed, dressed messily, face unshaven. When he gets to the hallway, Jimin, Jungkook, and their girlfriends are all standing around in the dining room, staring at him.

“Did I hear that you have called or text y/n AT ALL since the night that she walked out of here?” Jungkook demands. Even though he’s the youngest, his tone is commanding and dark. If anyone knows about the pain of having their private photos leaked, it’s Jungkook.

Shit.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me. She made that clear when she walked out on me.” Tae turns to go back down the hallway.

“Seriously? You haven’t talked to her. You’ve literally said zero words to her since you showed her that someone took pictures of an incredibly intimate moment. How do you know how she feels?”

Taehyung shakes his head. “No, no. If you could have seen the look on her face...I broke the one promise I made to her.”

Jimin walks up to Taehyung and grabs him by the shoulders. “Hey, look at me.” When Taehyung lifts his eyes up to his friend’s, he can feel the tears welling behind his eyes.

“Taehyung, if you love her like you say you do, if she feels like home, you would fight for her. You know that.”

He feels the water fall on to his cheeks, and he can’t stop all the doubt running through his mind. It’s like Jimin sees it in him, and he says, “you can’t get caught up in what ifs. You have to go to her.”

He nods and runs back to his room. He throws on a casual outfit and calls Beoseon on his way out the door. He knows that if he doesn’t do something right now, then he won’t be able to say all the things that he needs to say to you.

****

A gentle knock on your door wakes you from your sleep. At first, you aren’t sure if you even heard it, when you blink your eyes open, looking around confused. Then it comes again.

You drudge yourself up off the bed and maunder to the door. The sight out of the peephole is one of the last things you expected to see. Standing in the hallway outside of your apartment, a sullen-looking Kim Taehyung is knocking softly against your door.

You unlock the door and swing it open to face him. He simply stares at you for a moment. He opens his mouth and closes it again like he doesn’t know what to say.

“Why don’t you come in?” you mutter.

Once inside, the two of you stand, shifting your weight between your feet. You aren't sure what to say, but you know that you can't just stand here in silence any longer. The things that are unsaid between you hang in the air. It's thick and heavy and difficult. Seeing Tae's face after the last several days is painful, and you hope that he'll speak first.

"I..was an idiot," he says.

It isn't really what you expected, but it was true. He was an idiot.

"Yeah. You were."

He winces slightly at the bite in your tone, but you know that he has to have more words to say.

"I wrote a song for you."

Well...this conversation is not going how you expected it to.

"Well, I'm glad you were writing a song in the five days that you weren't talking to me after a super embarrassing photo of me was posted on the internet."

You turn away from him and start to walk toward your bedroom. He grabs your hand before you are too far away from him. You remember the man in the bar the night that you met, and you freeze, melting a little at the memory. The way that he felt that first night was the reason you'd even agreed to any of this at all. The warmth of his palm on yours reminds you of all the things that you loved in your time together.

"Look, y/n. I can't ever apologize enough for abandoning you when this happened. I should have immediately called and texted and come over and hired a skywriter. Instead, I was a coward and assumed that I would know what you would say to me about it. I didn't even talk to you before assuming that you were done with me and wanted nothing to do with me. I broke a promise that I made to you. I can tell you that the company is taking legal action against that line cook, and they were fired. It doesn't change what happened, but I just want you to know that I'm trying to do everything I can to make it up to you."

You know that Tae didn't mean to hurt you. You know that. But it doesn't change the fact that he did.

"Taehyung...I know that you didn't mean to, but you hurt me. You broke promises."

"y/n, please. I love you. Please forgive me."

Those three words hang in the air, wrap around you, and overwhelm your senses. You know that you feel that way about him, but the fact that he said them first fills you with joy.

You leap at Tae, and he grabs you as you jump into his arms. You kiss him hard, breathing him in. Your lips move together, and you know that it's all worth it for him. You pull back, wrapping your fingers around his neck, messing gently with his hair.

"I love you too, Tae. You are worth it."

He grabs your bottom lip between his teeth, and you feel your heart quickening in your chest. You tug at his hair. He lets your lip go, and you slip your tongue across his bottom lip. You want to feel every inch of him, taste every part of him. Your tongue traces his bottom lip and then sneaks into his mouth. His tongue finds yours, and they feel like they were meant to be together.

He pulls back from you and drops you down on the couch. He pulls his shirt over his head, and then he grabs the hem of yours and rips it off, tossing it aside. You aren't wearing a bra, so your nipples harden at the cool air and the arousal. Tae growls quietly in the back of his throat, and he leans down to kiss you. You pull him toward you until he's on top of you.

He laughs as he kisses you, and he presses his torso against yours. He wraps his hand in your hair and pulls gently. "Is this okay?"

He pulls a little more. You nod fervently at the small sting in your scalp. He pulls harder and harder, and you smile as he pulls your hair hard. The pain makes the wetness between your legs grow, and you can't wait until he hurts you again.

"Tae?" you stare up at him. "Do something for me?"

“Anything, my love. Anything.”

“Will you...slap me?” His eyes widen, and he stiffens slightly. “Shit. If you’re not into it, then we really don’t have to do that.”

“No, yobu, that’s not it. I really love it. It’s just that I hurt you emotionally already…”

“Well...make the outside match?” You thought it would be fun and flirty, but it just sounded kinda rude. You laugh to try to make it clear that you aren’t actually upset with him.

He stares at you for a moment, then he brings his hand up away from your hip. It smacks against your cheek, and you try not to flinch as it comes down on you. The sting in your skin makes you soak through your underwear. 

“Now, I’m going to show you how much I love you,” he whisper-growls in your ear.

He drops his weight back on to the couch and pulls you into his laugh. You slightly awkwardly straddle his lap from the position you’ve been placed in. Taehyung slips two fingers into your mouth and pulls your jaw open. He rubs his fingers on your tongue, and you moan in the back of your throat. He pushes his fingers further into your mouth to back of your throat.

He brings his other hand up to the back of your head, stroking your hair, and says, “Good girl.”

Around his fingers, you plead, “Pleath Taehong.”

He smiles at your inability to properly pronounce the words.

“You sound so desperate with my fingers in your mouth like that. Sweet dumb baby can’t make words when she’s so turned on.” He’s smiling and pressing his fingers further into your mouth again. “You don’t know how desperate I am though, jagiya. Should I show you?”

You nod, and his hand leaves the back of your head and wraps around your throat, squeezing gently. “Use your words.”

“Yes Tae.”

You are starting to drool down your chin with your mouth so wide open, but you don’t care because you want to cover him in your spit. Tae shifts his weight and pulls his pants down, hard cock bursting free as soon as the fabric that contained it is gone.

“Do you see what you do to me? Every time I see you, it’s like the first time again. I feel like I’m infatuated. A lusty mess.”

You moan around his fingers, and your spit drips from your lips onto his cock, and you smile at the sight of it.

“Does my lovely baby like to see her spit on my cock?” he asks, smirking at you, still holding your jaw open.

“Yeth.” More spit falls from your mouth.

“My love, I just want to feel you,” Tae whispers against your neck. His mouth finds purchase on your collarbone. He bites down hard and then sucks the skin where he’s just bitten. He looks up at you with so much affection in his eyes, it almost hurts.

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and sucks the drool off of them. You feel like you are going to explode if you don’t get some sort of stimulation soon.

“Bedroom?” you ask him.

“Bedroom.” he states back.

You lead him into your bedroom, and he pushes you back onto your bed. You pull your sweatpants and your ruined panties off and toss them aside. Tae stands before you, completely naked, and you marvel at him. He’s so beautiful and so perfect, his honey skin stretched just right over every curvature of every muscle and bone.

Shit. He’s so beautiful.

He slowly lowers himself between your legs, and you can’t believe that it’s possible to grow any wetter until you do. He positions himself about your clitoris, blowing cool air on the aching bud. You squirm beneath him, but he holds your hips in place. His tongue makes contact with the sensitive skin, and you immediately moan. He pulls away after one lick and blows again. The pleasure and the desire are overwhelming. Your mind is losing control.

“Please. Please,” you beg without knowing what in particular you are begging for. His touch? His tongue? His love? All of it?

He chuckles against your folds, and the stimulation makes your squirm even more. He isn’t touching you, but you are dying for his touch.

“Hold still.” 

He holds your hips as the gyrate, trying to get attention in some form. He pushes a little hard on your hips, but you can’t control yourself. You are out of your mind, and you need his touch now before you die for the lack of touch.

Smack!

Tae’s hand lands on your inner thigh heavily. You look down at him with wide eyes. “I said hold still.”

With all the power you possess in your mind, you force your hips to quiet. You hold perfectly still while panting in anticipation. You want to be good so that he’ll reward you with the thing you want most, and your brain tries to focus on still hips instead of those still lips.

Finally after what feels like years, he dips his head and traces gentle patterns through your arousal. Every time his tongue passes over your clit you moan but fight to keep your hips still. You feel yourself losing your grip, hips shuddering from the pleasure, and Taehyung slides a finger inside of you. Slick with your arousal, it easily caresses the bundle of nerves inside. The stimulation from his tongue and his finger immediately send you over the edge.

It’s sudden and forceful. It feels like all of the emotions, anger, sadness, hopelessness, all burst from within you, melting into your orgasm. Your pain melts away as the only thing left in the room, hell, the world is the sensation that Tae is giving you. Your fingers pull at his hair, and even the feeling of his soft locks is too much for you, adding to the pleasure.

As the feeling begins to wind down, you can’t stop your hips from rolling against his face. He doesn’t seem to mind, hands wrapped around your ass and hips, pulling your hard against his face. When he pulls away, his chin is shining almost as much as his eyes.

“I love you, y/n.”

He climbs up on top of you and kisses you deeply. You taste yourself on his lips, and you moan into his mouth.

“Tae...fuck me raw?”

You stare up deeply into his eyes, and you hear the intake of air from him being startled. He nods, and his cock presses against you. He slides his cock through your folds, and the way the head of his cock feels against your clit causes your to shudder. It feels like small shockwaves that are left over from your orgasm are rocking through as the stimulation continues.

Once his cock is coated in your wetness, he pushes himself inside of you, and you moan a deep, heavy moan as he sheaths himself within you. The stimulation is already pushing you toward another orgasm, and you can feel yourself pulse around. He has a way of making you cum over and over so quickly.

“I love you, Tae,” you whisper, and he starts to move his hips in rhythm. The thrusts leave you breathless. He repositions himself so that his weight is resting on your legs, and he is pushing your knees up near your chest. It burns in your hamstrings, but the feeling inside of you demands more of your attention.

You moan loudly, hearing your own sounds echoing off the ceiling and the walls. Tae repositions once more. He’s holding your ankles, pressing himself deep inside of you. Another orgasm tears through you, and while you clench around him, Tae spills inside of you, filling you full of his cum. You feel him fucking it deeper inside of you. You relish the feeling of being filled with Tae, knowing that there will be a day soon where you will make him fill every hole with him.

You both pant in each other’s arms before you finally start talking.

“I mean it, y/n. I was such an idiot. I’m so sorry. I know that it doesn’t change what happened, but I think that we can try to figure out a way to make this work.” His eyes are a little desperate again, veiled in exhaustion.

“Kim Taehyung, if someone is worth it, you make sacrifices. For what it’s worth, I love you. Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” you giggle as you say it.

He flips himself onto his back and pulls you tightly against his chest and kisses your nose. “Far from it.”

*****

On an unseasonably warm November afternoon, you lie on the roof of the recording studio where Tae is working today. He had a few minutes to sneak away for lunch, so you brought Banh Mi for him. You kissed him on the cheek when you saw him and greeted the other members.

The two of you lie looking at the sky, picking out shapes in the clouds. He’s gently holding your hand, and you are tossing Swedish Fish into his mouth.

“Isatrashcan!” he says with several gummies in his mouth.

“Isa what?” you ask, laughing at him incredulously.

He points out a long cylindrical cloud. “It’s a trash can!”

He looks so proud of himself, and you can’t help but love that about him. The sexy man that ruins you and dominates you. The devastatingly handsome man who wins awards and forgets to call you when he’s on the road. The oblivious man who almost cost you your job and almost broke your heart. He is also the love of your life.

You lean over and kiss his lips, smiling at him. You know that this trash can cloud is just the beginning of many adventures to come.

[skyllion-uwu]

A-albert pwease úwù

ALBERT owo

1: sexuality headcanon: Queer. I can't put a specific label on him so I'll go with queer

2: otp: In terms of actual two people, Kruecent and Krueblake, but Blakeworther reigns supreme

3: brotp: Taylor and Albert. Again, he's like their uncle and he's constantly being like "let's go to the aquarium and then get pizza!" or "did that bastard break up with you? We're going to egg his house"

4: notp: Kruelee. Again, why

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: Uh I shared this earlier, but whenever he grabs Vincent's hand, he says "Sea otters hold hands so they don't drift away from each other". That's a true fact by the way! For a completely new one, he has an entire room of stuffed animals and his favorite animals are sharks, whales, and otters.

6: one way in which I relate to this character: Chaotic gay energy in which we terrify all those around each other but also repress our emotions.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: He just sits there gaslighting Taylor and going "you must be stressed out there was nothing here lol now close your eyes". What a terrible therapist now I see why Vincent gave him 1 star

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: My brain says problematic fave but my heart says cinnamon roll. He is a murderer but he's also emotionally in pain and need a friend

Send me a character and I'll tell you these headcanons