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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

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I’m here for the ‘swords not as pets’ agenda. Swords as cars: solid, get you from place to place, potentially dangerous, customizable, something people name. Wwx losing his license taking the fall for a mistake jc made (idk, dui maybe?) and just choosing to mod the hell out of a self-balancing scooter or segway or something so it goes dangerously fast. Alternatively: spending 3 months inventing the first functional actual levitating hoverboard, with an insane top speed. 3 months in the (1/2)

sawdfert this is delightful!! i saw segway and i immediately started wheezing,, there was no time for laughing i went straight to the wheezing. i think it would make more sense if wwx lost his car and got a motorcycle? like hoverboards and segways are cool but motorcycles have that big reputation of being dangerous and there’s the whole ‘rebellious teen gets a motorcycle and becomes a delinquent’ thing? like motorcycles are fast and if you crash it’s so much worse than if you were in a car and there’s no airbags or anything. but also?? wwx rocking up to school on a segway while playing his flute like the shittiest entrance ever? iconic. but let’s stick with chenqing as a motorcycle/scooter (motorcycle-esque scooter not the ones that try and take out your ankles).

okay so all the major sects are super rich so in a modern au it would make sense for all the sect heirs to get cars. i’m not saying that jc and wwx complain about jzx being stuck-up bc he was given a porsche for his birthday even though they were also given cars for their birthdays,,, but i am. at first it would have been this major point of contention between yzy and jfm bc wwx isn’t even their son so why is he getting a car too but wwx is like ah it’s so i can drive jc and jyl to school! you wouldn’t want their cars being left outside the school all day would you? someone in my maths class had their car get keyed and it was super expensive to fix,, and yzy is like yes wwx may have a car only to protect my children from parking hassles,, also wwx must pay for his own parking. so wwx and jc both get given cars for their bdays.

now wwx gets bored easily,, so you could translate him being a cultivation genius to him being really good at driving. im talking that jc is still getting the hang of switching gears and wwx is out there casually drifting around corners. (this does mean he has to get new tyres really frequently but he’s friends with wen ning, whose family runs the mechanics that wwx likes to go to so he just helps around the shop for a bit and gets a discount (yes its the family discount)). anyway wwx really enjoys driving, also! he just rocks up to wen ning’s place one day and is like dude, i wanna pimp my ride, wanna help and wen ning is like heck yeah. so wwx pays for some upgrades with his own money and he spends hours doing some custom work to make it look cool,,

it’s all going well until wwx and jc go to wen chao’s party one night and jc gets absolutely sloshed,,, like completely hammered. wwx had walked in, grabbed a cup of lemonade or something and was gonna hang with his friends but lwj was there for some reason so he spent the entire night talking to him in the back garden. which means that when jc wanted to leave he saw wwx hanging out with lwj and went ew gross and just decided to drive home himself. he crashes and when wwx comes home the next day jc gets super pissed at him bc he was meant to be the designated driver and if he hadnt been screwing around with lwj jc wouldnt have tried to drive home and now his parents will be super pissed and wwx is like woah chill my grandmother is a mechanic and she can fix this up just give me a couple of days.

so wwx goes to baoshan sanren mechanics (which is just the back entrance to the wen sibling’s mechanics) and spends the next three days getting rid of all of his customisations and mods so his car looks exactly like jc’s. does he cry when he has to spend like five mins spraying the inside of the car with axe body spray to get the jc stench going on? maybe a little. but he does it and returns the car to jc! and jc is like oh wow my car is fixed, your grandma is a miracle worker and wwx is like haha yeah (:

anyway wwx mysteriously and suddenly discovers a passion for public transport,, it’s a good way to stay humble jiang cheng, he says, also i used all my petrol money buying porn from nhs or whatever. anyway wwx is doing the whole pt to school thing but then one afternoon wen chao and wzh find him and idk maybe the party got too rowdy so the cops came and wc got in trouble with his dad? he assumes wwx called the cops on him so he shoves wwx into his car and drives him out to the middle of no where and dumps him in the burial mounds scrap metal recycling place or whatever.

the train line isn’t running that day and there’s no phone service either so wwx is stuck there overnight. he gets super bored. so what does he do? he finds an abandoned scooter and starts scavenging for parts. he’s not expecting it to actually work but by the time the sun rises he’s found some actually decent parts and he thinks that he could get it working. tbh he kinda forgets to go back home and just walks into town to buy some food and then goes back and continues fiddling with the scooter. he doesnt live there for the three months but the people in yiling just accept that this random teenager has all but moved into their scrap heap and adopt him anyway. so he goes and visits the burial mounds every day after school so none of his friends or family really see him anymore.

until! one day he rocks up to school on his scooter. scooters,, are kinda like sad pathetic motorcycles,, but wwx mods his scooter with like a powerful engine and new steering and everything so people see it and go oh! a motorcycle! even though it’s not actually (can you do that with a scooter? idk but suspend your disbelief pls). so lwj is like hnnngg wwx in a leather jacket on a motorcycle but also wei ying, stop riding a motorcycle, *enter statistics about motorcycle crashes here* and wwx is like no! you cant take chenqing away from me. and jc is pissed bc they were meant to be brothers and have matching cars and be able to work on them and give them cool paint jobs together! but now wwx has this bike which has been modded to hell and back and refuses to drive his car bc it’s not as cool as his bike. so we get to have the whole ‘everyone thinks wwx is doing something dumb and dangerous’ bc he has a motorcycle and why isnt he just driving his car anymore? but we also get to keep some of the nuance of the demonic cultivation bc yeah it’s more dangerous than driving in a car but wwx doesnt have a car anymore and scooters are a loottt safer than motorcycles (if my two seconds of research is correct).

so! wwx won’t abandon chenqing and he did most of his work using scrap parts so he goes back to the wens and is like wen ning my best bro check her out and he’s like oooooooh and they start modding chenqing together. wen qing doesnt know why wwx is constantly over at their shop all the time but jc keeps arguing with wwx and wwx grows more distant with his family and friends bc he’s making ~bad decisions~ and a motorcycle is a gateway to idk teen delinquent shenanigans like smoking and doing graffiti so he’s kinda ousted from respectable rich people society and wen qing is like i have two (2) brothers now and they’re adorable not that i’ll ever tell them that. and wwx modding chenqing got him a reputation in yiling like everyone saw him walk in one day and then drive out with this sexy sexy bike so people start coming to him for mods and stuff and wwx earns the title yiling patriarch and wen ning, his trusted best friend and helper, gets called the ghost general bc idk he helps a lot but the customers never meet him. so they become some dynamic duo for car and bike mods!

anyway,, yzy delivers him an ultimatum one day: the car or the bike (or more accurately: the family or the bike) but wwx can’t drive the car anymore so he just gets quietly disowned and drops out of school. (we’ll save jzxuan the suffering in this au he can keep his car). he goes to the wens and theyre like hey whats up? wait no you cant live in a scrap heap,, not even if you buy a tent,,, just live with us please. and then wwx gets adopted by the wens and idk i want them to have a happy ending so wwx and wn go off and do some actual mechanic and modding training with some expert (sqdcfgt imagine if it was the real baoshan sanren who just happened to be in the market for some apprentices and saw wwx and wn’s work and was like them and then later realised it was her grandson). so they get their apprenticeship and they disappear off somewhere for a year or two - when wwx had been disowned he’d deleted everyone’s contacts and was like if they text me i’ll add them back but im not gonna have a contact list cemetery. (no one contacts him).

eventually the 13 years pass and wwx has been helping the wens raise their little nephew a-yuan who is showing a real aptitude for being a mechanic even though he’s just a kid and just generally enjoying the quiet life of being a mechanic while doing fun mods and lil baby projects. then one day lwj’s car breaks down while he’s driving through the area and he calls up the local mechanic and guess who rocks up? it’s wwx. and then we get to have them dance around each other and wwx being like lwj doesnt trust me, he’s just sitting here and watching me work all day ): and lwj is like dont let him go dont let him go dont let him go,, and eventually they get their romance but this is way too long already so im im gonna end this here

i didnt mean to make this an entire au but i adored your idea so much anon so i kinda had to!!

#mdzs #modao zushi #wei wuxian #wangxian #lan wangji #wen ning #wen qing #my aus #asks #cql #the untamed #i might come and add a read more later but i dont have time now sorry!#Anonymous

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lollybliz · 5 years ago

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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

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slurp-imagines · 6 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet: Usopp

(ask meme link)

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Pre-time skip, Usopp liked his hands. No reason, he just did.

Post-time skip, he still likes his hands but he’s also really happy with his arms. He trained so hard to get all buffed up, so he’s very proud of how muscular they are.

And he’s not wrong, they look great tbh. “Hold me til the pain goes away” lookin arms

On his partner, he’d have trouble picking just one, but he’d probably say their legs.

Cause he’s big on calf / ankle kisses. Like when your legs are up over his shoulders, he’d just turn his face in to give you a little kiss as he enters you. Maybe he gets a lil more saucy with it and slips some tongue into the kiss

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Usopp is at neither extreme. I wouldn’t describe him as especially rough or sensual either

But he does tend to lean a little on the fast side. He probably doesn’t have the will nor the discipline to keep up a slow and steady pace for too long, lol

When he’s close to finishing his strokes go all out of whack though. He wants to go faster but he’s ??? shaking? internally? It’s like his hips short circuit and he can’t keep up a regular rhythm. He might wind up giving a few slow drags or a few quick, stuttering thrusts. It varies

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Usopp is pretty loud. He can’t help it, feels too good.

If he knows he needs to be quiet, he’ll have to bite down on something because he can’t trust himself to hold back

A lot of panting, especially when he’s getting sucked off.

When he’s close to cumming his breaths get all shaky, it’s really sexy

When he does cum, it’s with one drawn-out moan from the back of his throat.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s about 6 inches, maybe a little over. Average girth, but the head is slightly thicker. So he’s got a bit of a mushroom top going on

Not very veiny. Maybe like three that are prominent

As a whole it’s slightly darker than the rest of his body, especially his balls.

Also his balls are really... pristine?? Tight, round, close to the body

Technically this is for a different letter, but I have to add: short, curly happy trail leading into a luscious bush

#usopp #one piece #one piece imagines #slurp #ns.fw

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dream-of-kpop · 6 years ago

Text

Seventeen Works at McDonald’s [Pt.3]

[This pretty much occurs a month after the last part]

-sorry for how long this is :P

Dino:

The kitchen's biggest thot besides Jeonghan

Like Mother like Son

He came back because S.Coups promised no more babying him-

*Gets Piercings, Dyed hair, Tattoos-*

*chokes a lil*

Not allowed but he did it anyways

Wonwoo: "Dude what happened?..."

Dino: "I upgraded myself fam, no need to worry."

Hoshi's cursing has rubbed off on him sadly

Probably got a customer pregnant but who knows at this point

Dino: "Joshua what happened to you teaching me how to drive?"

Joshua: "Uhhhhhh..."

Vernon: "I'll teach you."

Dino: "Don't you have like 3 tickets for speeding and disturbing a neighborhood with music??"

Vernon: "Yeah so-"

Dino: "Ok, I want him to teach me instead-"

No longer the kid in the commercial

Instead, he’s that hot guy in the commercial w o a h

Definitely boosted up business faster than Hoshi's jawline

Woozi:

Threw a party for the crew for getting their 1,000th customer

Woozi: "ALRIGHT LET'S POP MOLLYS!!!" *jk just champagne* *maybe*

*Woozi pops the bottle*

Dino, Vernon and Joshua are minors but yes they're still gonna drink

*How is Shua the 3rd oldest yet a minor? idk man*

*The cork hits DK's eye*

DK: "AH MY EYE DJDJDJDN FUCK-"

Hoshi: "Woah I don't think I've ever heard him curse before..."

Since the incident, DK has to wear an eye patch

Pretty sexy tbh

Kept his promise and fired Seungkwan and Wonwoo

But everyone begged to have them back so he rehired them

They got rid of the radio and installed Alexa to play music

Woozi: "Jun tell Alexa to pl-"

Jun: "ALEXA PLAY CLAP BY SEVENTEEN!"

Alexa: "Ok, playing Deepthroat by Cupcakke."

Jun: "Wait...HOLD UP STOP STOP STOP-"

*it was blasting full volume in front of all the customers...ah lord*

Seungkwan:

Just in general very shitty at being the drive-thru guy so-

He just stands around

Seungkwan: "Seungcheol is there anything I can do?"

*S.Coups is confused*

S.coups: "Uh we're at work, did you just call me by my first name?"

Seungkwan: "Yeah, your mom gave you it for a reason so imma use it-"

*Seungkwan is on the brink of being fired again*

Him and Vernon started dating woAh

Hoshi: "Call me matchmaker cuz I brought my friends together bitch-"

So much drama and dating in the kitchen but Woozi loves it so who cares

Kwannie has to wear bandages cuz Minghao kicked him that HARD in the stomach

Minghao: “I’m sorry Kwannie, I didn’t mean to...”

Seungkwan: “You better be lucky we got paid leave...MY STOMACH IS NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AGAIN!” *grunts walking away*

Wants Vernon to defend his honor but that shit is never gonna happen

Wonwoo:

Even during the time when he was fired, he kept calling Mingyu about that date

Wonwoo: "Soooo...about that date-"

Mingyu: "Oh...I'm seeing someone right now...it's pretty steady."

*Since Wonu has been back it’s been nothing but drama in the kitchen*

*Minghao eats fries and watches the fight*

Wonwoo: "Wtf why lead me on like that???"

Mingyu: "Like what???"

Wonwoo: "You know?..."

Woozi: "Ok, that's enough I DON'T WANNA THROW UP!"

Decided he wants to be Woozi and S.Coups' assistant (again)

Wonwoo: "Mingyu get back to work-"

Mingyu: "I just started my break like 10 minutes ago..."

Wonwoo: "And-"

Wonwoo: "I'M SORRY FORGIVE ME-"

For Wonu's lunch someone fucked up and gave him an old Big Mac

Yep he definitely has food poisoning

The8:

Art school is going great for yo boi

His logo is still being stolen by Woozi tho

Minghao: "I know I'm his favorite...but he stole from me...should I report it?"

*Joshua in the middle of reading his Manga*

Joshua: "Uh...sure."

Minghao: "Are you even listening to me?"

*Joshua looks up*

Joshua: "No."

A month later and Minghao is still looking for another job

Minghao: "Jun hey...are there any more commercial shoots you're doing?"

Jun: "Nah, sorry fam some uh...shit went down..."

Minghao: "What?"

Jun: "NOTHING."

Very happy that Mingyu is suffering

Walked in on Jeonghan asleep in the closet and left immediately

Jun:

He was balling in so many commercials

Then a scandal happened so-

Jun just relies on his "Chinese Burger" to sell and make him famous at this point

A tad bit thirsty for clout but so what?

Mingyu: "Can I please stop making the Chinese burgers? Customers are complaining..."

S.Coups: "Shit. Go ahead but don't tell Jun-"

Jun: "HEY! HEY! SOMEONE ORDERED MY BURGER-"

Everyone: "Wow...yay..."

Woozi found out about his "fake injuries" and took away his vacation days-

This time he really did break his ankle doing Karate on the trash cans but Woozi didn't care

Jun: *stares out the window at the Panda Express across the street* “We could've been so good together...”

Admin 2-

-hyungwonthefraud-

---Thank you SO SO SO MUCH for 100 followers :))) bEt me and my friend gonna keep making great shit for ya'll <3, [This is sad, alexa play call call call by seventeen] Pt.4

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stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years ago

Text

A kpop newbie’s reaction to MAMAMOO

Alexa: bold

Alex: italic

today you’ll react to Mamamoo even though you technically already know them

i mean, i don't know all that much about them, really. so this should still be interesting

well, as before, first thing that comes to mind

should i do the top one or

they’re in the same order. we love consistent queens.

hmm... wheein? then uhhh, s-solar..? then moonbyul and of course my queen.

did you guess them or. you got two of them right !!

i did in fact guess them. oh. fuck it, i'll take it

hwasa and solar, m-my baby. the first one is moonbyul and the third one is wheein

i figured

and apparently this is their formation in every group photo ever

oh, good to know

so, the first one is moonbyul. how old do you think she is and what’s her personality

she's 23 or 24, and she's a lovable goofball

is she a singer or the rapper

f uc k uhhhuuhhhhh singer

smol baby child. yeah, she's born in 1992, so she's around that age in this photo i think. i’m not sure when it was released. she's the rapper in the group, so her image on stage is cool

i knew it was either her or solar, smh. i remember it distinctively from that height song.

but irl she's greasy and flirts with everyone, tomboy-ish and probably gay idk

alright, so she's the cool one

yeah, she's also the tallest, staying proud at 165 cm

that image was misleading smh. she looks like a silly nerd in it/ are you trying to sabotage my score, miss <-<

i mean, she Is a silly nerd. she usually makes lives with solar and flirts with her all the time and gets herself some slaps on the arm. and she gay panics on stage every time hwasa is in her close vicinity. and she's known for having heart eyes every time a girl talks and she's also the Girl Crush of the entire industry lmao

first we had heart smile now we have heart eyes soon enough you'll be describing a monster from soma. a walking blob made of exposed, beating hearts.

oH SHUT UP

*then i showed him the Wonderful Confession Immortal Songs performance*

that middle aged lady fangirling after hwasa goes "look at me now" lmfao

sadfrghgfdsDFGHJK ME.

this is fokin great. i just got to the rap part.��fam they're genuinely talented don't @ me

mamamoo are known for making every show their concert lmao

pff. it do be like that, and i wouldn't have it any other way. a bunch of girl dancers suddenly appeared and i thought my vision was going blurry and i was seeing double. anyway, the rap works surprisingly well, considering the general tone of the song.

moonbyul also has two tattoos. i don’t know what one of them says, i think its just her family portrait.

w h o l e s o m e

but the other one says “N'oublie pas de t'aimer”

alrighty my grill next up is your bias

give her an age

i'll say 24. and she's a singer

she is 27 :)

oof, can you really blame me tho

i can’t. she has an actual baby face. what’s her personality?

i imagine she's sweet and soft, but can be jokingly sassy and teases the others sometimes

oof, she wishes. she’s the oldest, and the leader, but the other members always bulli her. she’s the mom friend though, and the best at english, even tho her english isn’t all that good anyway sdfghds. and shes a complete goofball

awh ;; is she the short one, then?

nop, shes the second tallest

wait hold up how can the leader be the one who gets bullied this doesn't add up

*then i showed him this marvellous video*

2 seconds in and i've seen enough

*then i showed him the Passion Flower Immortal Songs performance*

solar doesn't have any tattoo but she's scared of bugs so there's that

wholesome. she's a quality idol i like her. this song is dope yo.

the one wearing a hat there is wheein

the wheeout puns are overwhelming ngl

,,,,,,,,,,they fucking are. once u wheein u cant wheeout. she's the same age as hwasa, but a few months older, so hwasa is considered the actual "maknae" (which means youngest member

that much i know. mainly because i googled it a while ago

and here's wheein with short hair cuz fuck yeah

whats her personality?

she's uhh the Short One (tm)

yes, that too. she is Evil

idk, she seems like a sassy singer, but that's just a shallow impression. does she tease the other members a lot, or.. <<

tbh, she is pretty sassy. she's also very carefree and a derp. but she does tease the other members a lot and laughs when something funny and unfortunate happens to them. she's been friends with hwasa since middle school, and they have a couple tattoo

ooh, noice

on their ankle, they both have "resonance"

i've seen a picture of that somewhere, if i recall..

she has two other tattoos. one she drew herself, and one that says "la vie est courte l'art est long"

what's with the french affiliation. should i be learning french instead of korean?

probably.

*i showed him that infamous “mamamoo sold their friendship for ice cream” video*

"hyejin-ah, you know your thighs are the size of your face, right?" i told you, wheein is evil

c r i t i c a l h i t

hwasa :) what do you think her personality is like lmao

she's the serious one (sarcastic humor <<3), the lead rapper but also sings (i noticed this by watching some performances)(edited)i also know that she cooks for them, so extra mom friend points there and she's very independent, but also warm

omf u really are whipped for her

<-<;;;

apparently she really likes beyonce, so some fans call her ahn-yance

yep, shes also a big rihanna fan, and work is her hoe anthem

that's dumb, on one hand because it kinda sounds like "annoyance", and on the other because bey-ahn-ce is a much better pun. i would perform umbrella for her like tom holland, don't @ me

oh, also, hwasa has four tattoos. the "resonance" one, one on the back of her neck, with "maria", her christian name, cuz she is Holy

oh shiet. that name fits her well actually ;;

one on her arm saying “Paradise is where you are”

if she's in your immediate vicinity, then obviously

and one right above that one, that’s a triquetra

mamamoo are well known in korea, and most of their fans are girls!! i think theyre the group that appeals the most to girls there actually

oh, that's interesting

and here are some songs

*i showed him “Words don’t come easy”*

this is what we call s m o o t h g u i t a r. and that sexy sax, oh boye (and here is where alex’s inner Shiverbert Creepstein came out, god bless, the only writer i stan) this one's really nice, i'd love to listen to it in a cafe. there's this really nice mental image that you'll never achieve, but it's nice to think of anyway. just sitting alone in the corner of a dimly-lit cafe, watching the performers on the stage sing as you down another shot, people taking quick glances in your direction and wondering what it is you're thinking about, when in fact you're just listening to the music mix in with the raindrops hitting against the windows. i got carried away, oof

o damn, mister shiverbert

<-< hey, nobody clapped

its a nice lil image, though

anyway, that was a great song

*and here i showed him “Decalcomanie”*

oh, this one's more i n t e n s e. the translated lyrics without any rhyme sound like some sort of strange poem

i know;;

noh-noh is apparently knock knock. the vocals are fokin great

:(((((( stop slandering them, theyre trying

i'm not roasting them, i just find it cute ;;that was a nice song. in fact- (he pinned it)

so, last thoughts on mamamoo?

god bless them best kpop idols out there hwasa please sit on my face

amazing

ayy, that was this week’s reaction!! alex was actually more excited this time because it’s his ultimate bias’ band

there are some things i (alexa, cuz alex never edits these posts) didn’t mention, im sorry if i missed anything important;; i decided to focus more on what alex thinks and says this time, rather than ramble about stuff y’all already know

i hope y’all enjoyed this reaction and if you want, you can leave suggestions!! buh-bye~ ^ω^

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 8 years ago

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time.

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour.

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it.

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?!

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder.

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE.

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case.

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

ema: can i fuck off now

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

“back in the old country”

...england..?

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out.

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA.

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you.

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL. THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

why the fuck did he

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL

AW YEA

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting.

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

Huh.

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller.

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

oh wait

ah here we go.

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell.

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

what the fuck is his deal with being king

OH SHUT UP DURKE

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

when

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.

#sulking over SOJ #im so.... i #this fucking game good christ this fucking game

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surveystodestressme · 7 years ago

Text

50.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 11

1001. What has caused you to reinvent yourself or reevaluate who you are? i just wasn’t happy with who i was as a person and what i was doing with my life honestly. 1002. Name three annoying bands: insane clown posse, blood on the dance floor, and one direction when they were a thing 1003. Have you ever been to a foam party (a big dance floor full of soap foam that people dance in at a club)? If yes did you get into the foam? no i haven’t but that sounds like it’d be fun and very messy 1004. Who do you take for granted? Who makes you feel taken for granted? i feel like i take my boyfriend and family for granted sometimes and i shouldn’t 1005. Short, knee, or ankle skirts? short preferably

1006. Do you wear a hat? occasionally 1007. Did you watch Sifl and Ollie on MTV? How about Liquid Television? The Maxx? none 1008. What do you like that is NOT part of pop culture? idk rlly 1009. What music makes you feel: Sexy? buttons by the pussycat dolls lol Passionate? really slow music Violent? screamo Romantic? slow stuff Sad? any song with sad lyrics Happy/joyous? rock or pop Ecstasy? idk lol 1010. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? spongebob 1011. Does break dancing impress you? hell yeah 1012. Are you a smooth operator? not really 1013. Would you rather be a police officer or a criminal? a police officer 1014. Do you believe that government decisions should be made based more on economics or more on social reform? i mean, a lil bit of both would be nice 1015. Why do ‘they’ spend money to sterilize needles that are going to be used to give lethal injections? idk man 1016. This summer have you Been to the beach? not this summer no been to the movies? several Played mini golf? i think i did actually Gone for a walk? plenty of times 1017. Would you rather lay in bed all night talking or have sex all night long? i love talking all night long!! maybe a lil sex in between conversation 1018. Have you ever eaten tofu? yep 1019. Who needs a brain? everyone??? 1020. Who needs a heart? everyone??????? 1021. Does the moon have an affect on your mood? nahh 1022. Do you feel pressure on Friday and Saturday to have fun, go out and party? not really. 1023. Many people will say that the Harry Potter books are pure fluff with no literary value. Do you agree? nahh they’re good books. i’ve only read thru the 5th 1024. Is Harry Potter comparable to The Chronicles of Narnia and the Lord of the Rings? i love the chronicles of narnia, that shit is sooo good. but i’ve never read the lord of the rings books so idk bout those 1025. What are you doing next Wednesday? getting a new tattoo!! 1026. Why do so many people think Elvis is still alive? conspiracy theorists 1027. What couldn’t you live your life without? jackson and my family 1028. Are your hands cold? not at the moment 1029. Is your heart warm? yeah??? i think so ig 1030. Palm trees or snow storms? snow storms 1031. What bands would be great if only the singing was edited out? idk. 1032. What fantasy book would you like to see made into a movie? delirium 1033. Do you avoid risks and if possible stay at home? sometimes 1034. What SCI-fi books do you read? tons 1035. Would you be on that who wants to marry a millionaire show as a contestant? ehh maybe if i was single 1036. Who’s the best secret keeper you know? i don’t know if i even know anyone who can keep a secret tbh lol 1037. What is your favorite myth? idk m8 1038. Is it easier to live when you’re evil? oh yeah, i’m sure it is 1039. Have you ever belonged to a sorority or a fraternity? no 1040. Would you want to join one? absolutely not 1041. If your friend were doing dangerous drugs would you tell their parents? nah, it’s not really my business to tell them. maybe if they were on the verge of killing themselves 1042. Would you rather be a unicorn, mermaid/man, or a sorceress/er? sorceress!! 1043. Are leather pants sexy? On you? i’ve never worn them but probably lol 1044. Did you tell someone you love him or her today? not yet 1045. Have you ever given blood? i’ve never donated blood but i’ve had blood drawn for medical purposes & hated it 1046. Have you ever been thrown out of someplace? nope 1047. What do you daydream about? life 1048. Are you a miracle? nope 1049. If America is one nation under god then are atheists citizens? yeah 1050. Should they be? i think so 1051. If you could pick any rock star to replace the Ozbournes in their reality show, whom would you pick? idk i don’t even watch that show soo 1052. What are your feelings about Mel Gibson’s movie The Passion of Christ? i personally thought it was terrible lol 1053. What did you think about the last episode of Sex in the City? never watched it 1054. What is your favorite movie with Adam Sandler in it? either happy gilmore or grown ups 1055. What is your biggest problem? procrastination 1056. Have you ever been arrested? no. 1057. Can musicians be held responsible for influencing people to behave badly? no 1058. Do you believe that there are subliminal messages embedded in some TV shows, movies & music? absolutely 1059. Is there anything that you believe should be banned for any reason? rape, abuse, and so many other things 1060. How often do you eat too much? allll the time 1061. Have you ever descended into pure madness? nahh 1062. Would you want to? who would??? 1063. Do green m&m’s make you feel sexy? i don’t even like m&ms 1064. If you died tomorrow, what mark would you have left on the world? not a very big one but hopefully the people who i have interacted with will think of me as a good person 1065. What movie would you NEVER want to see? there’s plenty. 1066. What annoys you the most about yourself? i procrastinate a lot 1067. How do you feel about capitalism? nothing. 1068. How do you feel about socialism? idk 1069. How do you feel about communism? - 1070. Has anyone ever tried to injure you? i don’t think so 1071. Has anyone ever tried to kill you? not to my knowledge 1072. How do you know when it’s time to break up with someone? when you are no longer happy when you’re with them 1073. What is your opinion of the Janet jackson/Justin Timberlake superbowl exposure incident? idk 1074. What’s the most annoying sound? when people eat with their mouth open 1075. Who was your childhood hero? my sister 1076. With nearly 100 channels why is NOTHING ever on? idk man, i usually find something to watch but i only watch tv when there is something specific playing that i want to watch 1077. Would you adopt a stray kitty wandering through your neighborhood? yeah, i’d take ti to the vet to make sure it’s healthy first and give it a bath and stuff 1078. Describe what you look like: well right now i’m wearing a hoodie and pajama pants, my hair is a mess bc i just woke up 1079. Describe what you ARE like: driven, funny, talkative, passionate, friendly, kind 1080. What bad habit do you have that affects other people as much as it affects you? anger??? idk 1081. How did you party new years eve 1999? i was 3 yrs old lol so i didn’t party very much i’m sure 1082. Does second hand smoke bother you? kind of 1083. Have you ever: Dumped a drink over someone’s head? nope Dumped a drink over your own head? yeah Bit someone? yep Torn at someone’s clothes? not that i know of Made out in the bathroom? i’m sure i have 1084. Which Lord of the Rings movie has the best ending? i don’t remember 1085. Do you have any interesting scars? i wouldn’t call them interesting 1086. Is it better for people to change and evolve their ideas or always be consistent? i think it is good to change and evolve 1087. Warped tour, Lollapalooza or Area concert? any, ig 1088. What are you missing in your life? motivation 1089. Do you ever know when someone is thinking about you? not unless they tell me that they are 1090. What could you make a sculpture out of that’s in the room with you right now? paper 1091. Do you believe in the lost city of Atlantis? i don’t really know 1092. Have you ever read The Little Prince? no, i want to tho 1093. This is Mr. fish <>< What’s the best picture you can make on your keyboard? <(^-^)< 1094. What did Mr. Octopus say to Mrs. Octopus? idk???? 1095. Let’s see if I’m psychic. Write a yes or no question here. am i wasting my time here? 1096. Write another yes or no question. will i do good in my new college? 1097. Think of just one more yes or no question. will i be successful in my future career? 1098. Type one question that can be answered with a color (example: what color is my car) what color i my underwear? 1099. Think of a number between one and one hundred & type it down. 88 1100. Write one more question, anything you want. what should i be doing right now?

#bored #questions #quiz #survey

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