#it's the opposite of what anyone would have guessed based on the most typical read people have on their personalities

[m1ckeyb3rry]

tips and tricks on writing fanfic if u have any i beg <3<3

i have wrote so much throughout my life but it never feels like it flows right yk? i just want to write my silly characters being devastating with eachother

and you are infact my fav fic writer ever so pretty please <3

(its fine if not lol just may as well ask)

hihi!! sorry this took me a sec to respond to lol but yes ofc i can do my best to help!! and apologies in advance if any of this isn’t helpful/applicable 😓 i’ll put it all under the cut just because i can sense myself rambling in advance why did it end up being an entire thesis

okayyy so the most important thing for me when writing is having my plot and characters be in constant conversation with one another. typically i will come up with a very vague idea for a plot, which will then tell me exactly what kind of main characters i need to write, and from there, i build my cast!! it’s why i’m always afraid of writing characters ooc — typically i take aspects of the pre-existing character from canon and then expand on them so that they fit the plot i want, and sometimes i get worried that that means i’ve changed them too much LMAO.

once i understand what i want from my characters, i start to write. i usually have to rewrite my first chapter a few times as i get a feel for the characters and their perspectives, especially my pov character (we’ll call them mc for the sake of simplicity moving forward). it’s only after i feel like the mc’s voice and personality have been established that i can continue. i like to understand a character well enough that i can intuitively know how they would respond to any given situation. it makes it much easier in the future!! because once you’ve established a character, you can’t change them. i’ll use glass princess as an example because ik you’ve read it — if i wanted to write a slight different story, i could’ve written the mc to be a ruthless killer who has a short temper and resents her brother. however, i then would’ve had to work within the constraints of that character’s outlook instead of the constraints of current mc’s character!!

that’s why i typically only have loose ideas for plots. after i begin writing, i let my characters tell me what they want to do. they usually know what they want better than i do!! a lot of my “best” scenes have been entirely unplanned and based on me just following the characters’ actions to their natural conclusion. i guess you could say i go into each chapter having an idea of what the “inciting event” for the chapter will be — for example, mc runs to the tea shop the day after meeting the blue spirit, but the results of that inciting event are based more on my knowledge of my characters than any preconceived outlining or plotting. along the same lines, EVERY time i’ve had writer’s block with a fic (that was unrelated to me losing interest in the fandom/character/storyline) it’s been because i’ve forced my characters into a situation that they would not naturally end up in. my best example of this is a story i started writing with a very cold main character; she meets an injured enemy soldier who has lost his memories, and the plot was meant to revolve around her nursing him back to health and falling in love with him. however, given her character and the backstory i knew she had, i genuinely couldn’t come up with a single reason for why she would heal him instead of just killing him or turning him in, so i literally abandoned the story 😭 essentially i would recommend solid understanding of characters over a solid understanding of your plot 100% of the time. imo strong, well-rounded characters can carry even the shittiest of plots, but the opposite is rarely if ever true.

that was a lot of theory stuff!! as for where i get my ideas (not exactly what you asked but tangentially related so i’ll add it in here in case anyone else is reading and wants to know), it depends on the kind of fic i’m writing. my favorite fics are canon-verse, and for those fics i try to look for niches in the source material that aren’t already filled and make a character for it. the best example of this that i can think of off of the bat is two of my aot fics — in one, the mc is a member of the military police and the first interior squad, and in the other, the mc is a warrior candidate during the events of the show. both of these roles aren’t really filled by canon characters, so creating these characters allows me to look at plot events in a new light, which lets me expand the fic into something beyond just a rehashing of canon. in terms of au’s…to be honest listening to music is huge for me!! i’ll scroll through tik tok and hear an audio that inspires me, and once i have a vibe for what i want to write, i’ll search for similar songs that help me picture the general aesthetic of the au. the idea for my one bllk fic peregrine was conceived when i heard a snippet of the song welcome and goodbye by dream, ivory, on tik tok!! overall i don’t really like writing straight au’s that much though. idk why but in my experience every time i’ve tried to write an au fic i’ve gotten bored of it much much quicker than i would’ve with a more canon-based story. that’s just me personally though!!! i do loveeee worldbuilding though HAHA the amount of fantasy worlds i’ve created but never written for is horrific.

when it comes to things like grammar, sentence structure, and word choice, the only two things you can do to improve are reading and writing a LOT. at first, you should read more than you write, and when i say reading, it can be literally anything. find what you do and don’t like from all of the authors you encounter, and try to incorporate the pros into your writings while noticing the cons in your own work. it’s not plagiarism! you won’t be able to copy any author’s style completely, and if you engage in enough kinds of works, you’ll become a blend of so many different styles that it won’t sound copied or anything. then, once you’re comfortable mixing and matching depending on what scene you’re writing (maybe for a serious scene, you take references from a classical novel, whereas for a more lighthearted moment, you look at a social media au to see what kind of jokes might land with a broader audience), you can start to develop your own style!! it’ll come naturally as you go. the more you write, the more you will be certain of yourself and the way YOU would write something. the mixing and matching will smooth into one style that flows more naturally and does what you need, when you need it.

my final advice is that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others!! just because your writing doesn’t sound like your favorite author’s doesn’t mean it’s any worse. i’ve read amazing stories that are nothing like my own — it doesn’t mean that mine are worse than those stories, just different. there is a place in this world for every single story!! and it’s inevitable that you will look back on your old writing and cringe. i do!! i cannot read anything i wrote more than a year ago because i’ve improved so much that the old stuff is embarrassing to me. if you don’t push through the fear of cringe, though, you’ll never get anywhere. i’m not sure if you’re planning on posting anything ever, but i can say with certainty that if you do, there will be someone who reads and loves it. there’s people who still comment on and read and love my stories from 2021 that i absolutely despise now (it’s the only reason they haven’t been deleted yet). oftentimes we are our own worst critics, and also, knowing the plot ahead of time doesn’t help (writing suspenseful scenes is SO HARD when you know what’s coming 😭). your readers will love what you write, probably even more than you do!!

i hope that that was helpful and i’m so sorry for writing a literal essay OMG. like this is such a long post 😓 if you have any questions about what i wrote or about a specific aspect of the fic writing process, then lmk!! i’m always happy to help 🫶🏻

[shadeswift99]

The fact that combining Zedaph (you know, the guy who lives in a hill filled with chaos contraptions pretty much every season and speaks in sound effects just as much as words) and Joe (you know, the guy who's... Joe) somehow resulted in several minutes of the most completely normal conversation I've ever seen on Hermitcraft brings me so much joy

[sepublic]

Deconstructing the Mercator projection for Bionicle

(Just bear with me and read this through, and the title will actually make sense by the end, I promise!)

Is it super corny that for YaBr, I kind of want the island of Mata Nui’s lakes and volcano to align with the Great Spirit Robot’s eyes and mouth? Given how those features were arranged in such a way to give the vague impression of a face, so as to foreshadow the truth hidden beneath... I feel like it’s only more fitting to me that these clues to the eyes and mouth actually connect to them as well.

Based on the concept art I’ve seen, it seems that the island’s orientation relative to the GSR’s face is actually upside-down, with the lakes situated beneath the mouth, rather than above it where the actual eyes are. And in all honesty, I don’t think it’s a change that would affect anyone- The island of Mata Nui’s geography might have to be repositioned a bit to align proportionally with the GSR’s face, but...

Otherwise, it’s easy to retain that ‘upside down’ view of Mata Nui- Because from the perspective of the matoran, any angle is correct! Who’s to say the GSR landed with its head perfectly north, and its legs south? With how upside down globes are just as accurate as ‘regular’ ones, messing with different angles of perspective (because there is no right one) could still work.

Maps would still be oriented with the upside-down face angle, which isn’t symmetrical with the GSR either- And that could help to hide the GSR’s nature without actually changing anything, just how we look at it... To visualize how it’d work;

The red lines represent the outlines of the GSR’s neck and shoulders, we’re actually looking at it from an upside-down, slanted perspective- But the matoran don’t know that. The island’s geography was designed to be asymmetrical to throw people off from the humanoid design below, and Mata Nui’s legs are pointed northwest too- So this seems like the most ‘proper’ angle to look at the island... When in reality, one would have to rotate it a bit if they wanted to align with a top-down perspective of the GSR.

I don’t think it’d be a hurtful change to shift the proportions of Mata Nui just a bit to better align Mangai volcano and the lakes with his mouth and eyes respectively, as well as changing the location of his neck and shoulders outline to northwest of the island, rather than to the south.

As a result, the foreshadowing of this outline in canon will be changed in YaBr to the previous northwest outline image I showed beforehand, in order to align Mata Nui’s features with the GSR’s face. And again, playing with perspectives on maps and how there is no ‘right’ angle, how our preconceptions of North being above South (rather than just opposite) is purely societal, so it’d be fun to challenge this notion with an alien setting, and as a means to sell better why nobody noticed the humanoid shape of their world.

Nobody notices the head to the north, and the big mass to the south, because... That’s not how it’s situated, and framing the universe at a crooked angle (especially if different parts of the Matoran Universe frame the cardinal directions in different alignments) helps to mess with there’s perceptions. There is no giant strait of islands to the east and west, parallel like the arms to a giant- But there are island chains southwest and northeast, see where I’m going here?

I guess that one lesson from AP Human Geography really paid off, huh...? And to contextualize what I mean about how the way we frame the cardinal directions, as left and right, above and below, as being societal and no one perspective as ‘correct’, take a look at this;

This is just as valid as the typical arrangement, because the ‘typical’ arrangement is a mostly western, Euro-centric understanding of the world, the ‘Mercator’ projection... But from the perspective of actual people making the maps firsthand, on the ground, without a forest-for-the-trees perspective... North and South don’t really feel ‘above’ or ‘below, do they? Their association with North above and South below is totally arbitrary.

This video below is incredibly helpful in challenging what we see as the ‘proper’ orientation of the world... I’d skip to 2:45 if you want the bits most relevant to the topic about how matoran see their world on maps, but honestly the rest of the video is a VERY fascinating and enlightening subject that’s worth learning about, as well;

https://youtu.be/vVX-PrBRtTY

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[honeytae]

It’s so easy to fall for you.

hello my loves! this is just some very soft nervous tae content based around him meeting the reader’s parents. i hope you all enjoy :) tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy genre: fluff word count: 1.4k

Leaning on the vanity in your bedroom, you skimmed the familiar collection of necklaces haphazardly hung upon little hooks, pausing when you heard the distant sound of a key wedging into the lock on your front door. 

The door closing coupled with the immediate thud of shoes being tossed to the floor upon arrival announced Taehyung’s presence, a fond smile appearing when you heard his baritone voice call out for you.

“Baby, where are you?” 

“Bedroom!” You answered, the sound of footsteps steadily growing louder as you reached for the necklace Taehyung had gotten you just last week for your six-month anniversary, smile growing a bit at the memory. 

Fingers fumbling with the clasp of your necklace to no avail, you sighed in frustration just as Taehyung stepped into the doorway. 

You watched his eyes fixate on you, lips quirking slightly at the sight of you dressed up and ready for dinner.

“There’s my gorgeous girl.” He smiled softly, taking quick strides to you as he identified the necklace dangling from your fingers. 

Gathering your hair to brush over one shoulder, he took the chain between his appendages, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to place the pendant on your chest and fasten it behind your neck. 

“Thank you.” You smiled at him through the reflection of the mirror, the man humming deeply in response as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. 

“You look beautiful.” He repeated the compliment, wrapping his arms around your waist and setting his chin down on the top of your head as he admired the blush on your cheeks from his words.

Gazing at him in the mirror, you noticed how he’d styled his hair up off of his forehead, his long eyelashes batting at you as your eyes soaked in his appearance. 

“You look dashingly handsome as always.” You returned, the man smiling shyly at you through the reflection in the glass before sighing, lightly swaying your bodies from side to side in angst.

The movement was absentminded, it seemed, as Taehyung dropped his eyes to the ground, leaning down to kiss your shoulder as his hand set itself on your arm, running his palm up and down the skin appreciatively. 

Concern flooded your body as you picked up on his nervous energy, stretching your arm back to cradle the crown of his head, running your hands through his hair to get his attention back on your reflection. 

“You okay?” You asked, studying the creased features of the typically laid-back man, the nerves radiating off of him in obvious waves that had you frowning immediately.

His bottom lip was captured between his teeth, eyes dim and a slight frown etched onto his mouth as he met your eyes through the mirror. 

“Yeah, I guess.” He exhaled, loosening his arms from around your frame when you wriggled free to turn your body so you could face him. 

“Hey, what are you thinking?” You inquired gently, the feeling of your fingers tucking his hair behind his ear soothing him slightly as he shrugged.

“I just want them to like me.” He said, no hesitation with letting you into his thoughts. 

You appreciated this about Taehyung, never one to brush aside his feelings just for a prolonged answer. He was always ready to confess his true vulnerabilities, as long as the person on the receiving end was genuine. 

And his feelings were always valid; his anxiety about today especially so. You’d gone through the same thing about a month ago. 

Meeting the parents. 

When you met Taehyung’s parents, you were anxious. Extremely. You did not feel secure enough in yourself that they would think you were nearly enough for their son. 

Taehyung had to reassure you countless times before you arrived at their home, your bouncing leg and gaze concentrated out the car window giving you away despite your repeated “I’m fine”s. 

You remembered the way he had pulled over a few miles away from his childhood home, pulling you out of the car with his hand in yours to sit on the hood of the vehicle. He had talked to you so tenderly then, listening to your thoughts and feelings, working through your doubts enough to get your breathing back to a normal pace, heartbeat noticeably slower as you got back into the car. 

Unsurprisingly, they were the sweetest and most welcoming to you, Taehyung shooting you an “I told you so” look when his mother pulled the baby picture book out before the drinks were even poured. 

Looking at your boyfriend’s worried expression, you held back a smile, thinking about if he only knew how much they already loved him, just based on what they’ve heard from you.

“I understand that Tae, but you don’t have a logical reason to think that they wouldn’t. And if for whatever reason they don’t, then it still won’t affect us. You’ll still have me no matter the outcome.” 

Taehyung scoffed at your words, rolling his eyes with a small smile, shaking his head with a fading grin before a serious look took over his face.

“That’s not true, though, baby. You care what they think, I know you do. And you should.” He sighed, a slight frown taking over his lips making you pout back at him, leaning in to kiss his chin before leaning back to look him in the eye. 

“Do you remember how nervous I was to meet your parents?” You asked, the man immediately nodding as he recalled the memory. 

“And it turned out fine, right?” 

“Yeah, of course it did. That’s because you’re you, how could anyone not like you?” He asked, brows furrowed as he huffed a breath out past his lips. 

“How could anyone not like you?” You returned, puzzled at the man’s doubt. For god’s sake, he was Kim Taehyung. 

“Babe, I’m not exactly a conventional boyfriend. They have reason to be concerned.” He frowned, you mirroring his expression as you sighed out through your nostrils.

That’s what this was about. 

“I don’t care if you’re not a conventional boyfriend. If I can get past it, they can as well, okay? They know how emotionally invested I am here, they would never do anything to jeopardize that.” 

You watched his facial expression as you spoke, eyes flitting over his tense features as you tried your hardest to reassure him. 

“Honey, you’re going to be fine. I promise.” You soothed, hand grabbing his palm to squeeze at the slightly damp skin. 

You watched the nerves drain out of his pupils, his nostrils settle as he took more even breaths, leaning into your touch when you cupped his jaw with your opposite palm.

“Okay.” He squeezed your hand back, breathing out a deep sigh in an attempt to calm himself. 

He sighed as your lips met his soft cheek, chasing your lips with his when you pulled back. A light smile played on your lips at the action, his eyebrows raised in amusement at your teasing.

“It’s so easy to fall for you. I have no doubt they’ll be just as smitten as I am.” You smiled, causing Taehyung’s features to soften as his eyes fluttered down to your lips, leaning into you to finally meet them. 

Large hands supporting your jaw, he deepened the action, capturing your lips in a silent communication of how much he appreciated you and your reassurances. 

Placing a final peck on your lips, he pulled back slightly, eyes meeting your own with a small grin. Nose wrinkling when you leaned forward to leave a kiss on the mole at the tip of his nose, a chuckle shook his shoulders, warming your chest as he held you to him. 

“I’m so in love with you. Thank you.” He murmured, you humming in response before leaning back to glance at the dresser, checking your phone for the time before glancing at him.

“Time?” He asked, receiving a nod from you as you placed your phone in your pocket. 

“Let’s go, then, gorgeous.” He smiled, laughing as you lightly swatted at his shoulder, waiting for you to grab your bag before leading you to the front door with your still joined hands. 

Pausing so that you could slip your shoes on, his brown orbs shone back at you as you studied him, trying to get a read on how he was feeling. 

“I’m alright now.” He verbally confirmed, his body language already cluing you in as you nodded. 

“Good. Plus, if you don’t like my parents, you can just hang out with the dog.” You shrugged, Taehyung snorting a laugh as he shook his head at you. 

“God, if they’re anything like you, I’m in for a fun night.”

[dameronology]

one hell of a mandalorian {din djarin}

summary: actions speak louder than words - which is good for din djarin, because he's not very good at words. (this was a commission for an anon! i hope you enjoy).

warnings: language

enjoy!! if you're interested in commissions, you can find out more here :)

- jazz xx

Din Djarin was a man of few words.

That had become clear not long after you'd met.

It wasn't that he didn't like talking, or that he was rude - he'd just never had the need for it. The Mandalorian could spend days and days in hyperspace, on his own with nothing but a frozen bounty to keep him company. And they were hardly chatty, even before they were thrown away into the trawling depths of carbonite animation. There were a few select geniuses who tried to make conversation with him in a last-ditch attempt to appeal to his humanity and beg for mercy, but so far, they'd had a zero-for-zero success rate. It wasn't that he didn't have any humanity to appeal to it - because he did, and his weird, green surrogate kid was an absolute testament to that - but it just took a little bit for it to come out.

The beskar made him seem a little...robotic. Like a droid, which was ironic, because he wouldn't have gone near the things with a ten-foot-barge pole. Din had just become so used to people seeing his mask and his intimidating posture before him that having human traits, like feelings and thoughts and opinions, had never been any use. Having defining traits and a personality was all well and good, but nothing helped you through the galaxy quite like the ability to put the fear of God in people.

The Mandalorian was something, but Din Djarin was somebody. He was good; not necessarily pure and golden-hearted like a typical comic book hero, but he had a strong moral compass. Sometimes, it pointed in opposite directions, but he helped those who needed it and he paid his dues. That was probably a lot more than anyone in the galaxy could have said for themselves. In the fight of good and bad, in a world that existed entirely and black and white, there was nothing more grey than an honest man. Somebody who refused to pick a side held the power of both. For that, Din could have either been extremely smart, or extremely dumb.

Sometimes, he was extremely dumb. Made the wrong moves in combat, or got too cocky, however out of character it was for him. It was the losing fights that truly brought out the human side of Din, and it took a very, very specific eye to see it, sometimes to the point where even he missed it. It never went over your head, though.

You'd joined the crew on the Razor Crest as a mechanic - then you became a baby sitter, and his partner-in-crime, and the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend. His non-verbal nature meant that most of his emotional cues came in the physical form. It went over the heads of everybody else, but between your intuition, and the time spent in such a cramped space, it quickly became like a second language to you. Helmet tilts when he was confused, and little nods when he was pleased; tensed shoulders when the Mandalorian was nervous and balled fists when he was about to absolutely lose his shit.

Today was one of those days. Even though you were both in one piece and the baby was - by some absolute fucking miracle - asleep, it almost hadn't been that way. Nevarro had been quieter than usual, and Din had let his guard down; finally convinced himself to relax a tiny bit and ever-so-slightly loosen the stick that was firmly up his backside. His sudden lack of awareness for your surroundings had meant that someone managed to track the Crest, however briefly. The kid had barely noticed, and you weren't phased by what had been a simple, human mistake. Din, true to nature, was already beating himself up for it.

That was evidenced by his heavy footsteps, and the way he'd immediately retreated to the cockpit and slammed the door. Common sense would have entailed that he wanted to be left alone, but you'd long surpassed the point of any of that. Common sense didn't exist in a galaxy like this one. Doing the obvious thing was, nine times out of ten, usually the wrong way. Expecting the unexpected was the right way to go.

You'd paced outside the door for the better part of fifteen minutes - to go in, or to not go in, that was the question. You were torn between wanting to give Din space and wanting to be there for him; a cranky Din was often an unbearable one, but you cared deeply for him. Maybe a little too much, but that was a can of worms to open later.

"Din?" You gently called. Nothing. "I know you're brooding, or whatever it is you do under that helmet, but talking is good."

"I'm fine."

You sighed. "The scale goes great, good, bad, awful, world-ending and then fine."

"I've never heard that before in my life."

"Yeah, I just made it up on the spot." You murmured.

Resting your hand against the doorknob, you pondered for a moment. Did you want to risk it by going in? Making him mad when he was literally shutting you out? It was hard to know what to do with Din - it wasn't like he came with an answer key, or even a vague manual that could point you in the right direction. It was all just guess work.

"Is the helmet on?" You softly asked.

"Yeah."

You took that as a sign - with a deep breath, you gently opened the door and stepped inside the cockpit, shutting it quietly behind you. The tense atmosphere inside was almost enough to swallow you whole. The man practically radiated angst.

"Talk to me." You took a seat beside him.

"There's nothing to say."

"Bullshit." You murmured. "You might have a thousand inches of beskar hiding your face but your body language is a dead giveaway."

"I'm meant to protect you and the kid." He replied. It wasn't much, but it was better than silence. "It's my job to catch bad people and outrun them when I need."

"You did outrun them." You reminded him. "I'm safe. You're safe. The kid is safe. Does anything else matter?"

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." Din said. "I was relaxed-"

"- you allowed to relax." You cut him off. "Despite your best efforts, you're a human being."

Reaching out, you gently placed your hand over Din's ungloved palm. He didn't resist or try to brush you away. His hands were soft and callous in equal measures, which felt like a fitting metaphor for him on the whole. You tangled your fingers in his and held on tightly, perhaps in a sad attempt to remind him that you were there.

But Din knew you were there - he could feel it constantly, and he thought about it just as much. Every day of his life prior to you had been filled with rigidity and angst, then you'd come waltzing in and for the first time in years, he'd untensed his muscles and stopped looking over his shoulder. Learnt to take a breath and enjoy the simple things in life, like Grogu laughing or you accidentally tripping over a tree branch. You'd become so important to him that the prospect of losing you was too much for him to even fathom. He'd come close today - too close - and it had been an eye-opener. The irony was that telling you why he was so fucking scared was more frightening than the entire thing itself.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." The gentle pull of your voice lulled him back to reality. "Please?"

His grip on your hand tightened. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." You breathily smiled. "You don't have to apologise."

"I never thought I'd have someone like you." Din admitted. "Coming so close to losing you was terrifying, even if it wasn't that close at all."

He'd never been so open about his feeling towards you before. Obviously, you knew that he viewed you in a way he didn't see anybody else, but that knowledge had been based entirely on physical cues and mere guesswork. You'd never expected him to vocalise the way he felt, or even acknowledge them. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, or even something you considered to be detrimental. The words came as a nice surprise.

"You mean a lot to me, Din." You said. He'd always loved the way his name sounded when you said it; nobody had used it for years, not since he'd lost his parents. It was something to vulnerable and personal. You were the only one he trusted with it.

"I do?"

You didn't mean to laugh at that - you really didn't, but it just came out. A low snort of disbelief; shock at his absolute inability to read the fucking room. Din was as intuitive as they came, with the ability to read criminals like a bedtime story he'd been rehearsing since he was a kid. Then it came to you, and he knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. To call him clueless would be the understatement of the century.

"Maker." You murmured. "Of course you do - more than anyone or anything."

"You're special to me." Din replied. "It scares me sometimes."

Din was straight forward with everything he said - it was just finding the courage to say it. He'd gone into battle with Imps and Republic Rangers alike; fought krayt dragons and droids and fellow Mandalorians and yet this entire thing shook him to his very core more than anything else.

You didn't know it, but you were perfectly holding his gaze. Staring right through it and looking right into his soul. He forgot he had one sometimes. It was probably a little dusty and covered in cobwebs, but it was there, and you were bringing it right out of him and back to reality.

Din used his grip on your hands to pull you a little closer - a moment later, he gently pressed the cold metal of his helmet to his forehead. It was the closest you'd ever been to him, even if it wasn't that close at all. You could hear his soft breathing through the modulator, the sensation acting as a stunning reminder that there was a person underneath there. There were times when you forgot, or felt a little disconnected from the idea entirely. You'd never felt the need to see his face, though - you hadn't a clue what he might look like, but at the same time, you had an image of him in your head. It was as clear as day; as bright as the suns on Tatooine and as persevering as the kid's insistence that he receive all your attention, all the time.

You knew what the action was; a Keldabe kiss. The Mandalorian had recounted its meaning to you not long after you'd met - he'd finally let his barriers down and let you plague him with questions about his culture and the creed, and you'd stumbled on the subject. Initially, you'd been entertained by the fact that it two such vastly different meanings. On one hand, it could be a headbutt. A beskar punch to knock the daylights out of anyone who particularly annoyed you. On the other hand, it was almost a romantic gesture; a way that Mandalorians could show their affection to one another without having to remove their armour.

Din had the latter meaning in mind, but also so much more. He was giving you a piece of his culture - including you in the very thing that defined him as a person.

"It won't happen again." The Mandalorian gently said. "I'll never let you get hurt again. I promise."

"I know." You softly smiled. Your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal against your forehead. "For what it's worth, I have your back too."

He softly chuckled. "Thank you."

You gently pulled back, eyes meeting again (not that you could tell).

"Seriously!" You said. "I can be a bad-ass."

"You can be a lot of things." Din replied. "You're one hell of a girl."

"And you're one hell of a Mandalorian."

[talkfantasytome]

This got a little long, forgive me if this is tormenting you, but I really love to talk about this and I also loved your answers and would love to know your point of view on other parts of the story.

So, here I will show you my thoughts about what might happen in the next book with Azriel and also how I believe more people will know about Lucien and Helion in the next book. Let's go.

This is a thought of mine, but I think that probably in the next book more characters will learn that Lucien is Helion's son. I remember that either Rhys or Feyre said that they hadn't told anyone yet because it wasn't the time. I think that maybe something happens and in one of the meetings they have, in the search to find a solution to something Feysand can tell the IC, or something happens and Lucien unintentionally releases some power that makes other people suspicious. I think SJM is taking too long with this issue and it will get too rushed if she adds this only in the last book. Making a small comparison with TOG we saw as the books went by more and more characters knowing until they had the reunion between father and son.

I just don't know how this will be added in the story, because I believe the next book (using logic and the end of the book), will be about the Ilyrians vs Valkyries conflict, Ilyrians vs NC and the autumn court conflicts. Maybe Eris will use this to make Helion want to kill his father, we know he is looking for someone to kill him. As we know that Cassian and Rhys deal with Eris, I believe we will see less of him in this book as we saw in ACOSF but he will still appear in the Nightmare Court, on another hand, who gives information to Azriel is Lucien, so I believe we will see some conversation between the two.

I believe that the Ilyrians will plan something to hit the girls for getting out of the bloond rite alive, I believe that some Ilyrians will be inspired by them, probably Emerie will suffer something since besides being Ilyrian, she had her wings cut off and works and lives there, I am not sure but I think they will want them to stay training in the Ilyrian training camp. As Rhys and Cassian said it will be hard to make Azriel want to defend the Ilyrians because to him they could all die, I believe that will be one of the points to work on, maybe working with the Ilyrians he will feel the need to protect them and the fact that the Valkyries are connected to that makes me 50% sure that will be one of the triggers for him to defend them. (Just like Nesta who wanted the women to train to defend themselves and why it helped her with her trauma, I think this Ilyrianas training will mess with her feelings for being connected to her mother and the way she was treated). I also believe that the Ilyrian who did not kill the girls in the blood rite will reappear, probably mediating the problem between the Valkyries and the Ilyrians, to show Azriel that not all Ilyrians are bad and so on.

(I think this will be the first plot of the book, as it was in ACOSF, making this one want to go train, then her liking to train and wanting the other women to train as well. I think something like that will happen at the beginning of the book with Azriel).

The other plot I am not sure but I think it will involve AC again and Gwyn. I don't know how it will happen but I am really excited to read the next book.

Do you agree with this thought?

Hi Nonnie! No, definitely not tormenting me. <3

So, first, I just want to say this seems totally possible! Admittedly, that's not saying much, as I'm very open-minded to the possibilities of the next books and, also, considering what "possible" means, you really can't say something isn't possible. So, you won't find me saying something isn't possible unless it's like "I think Nesta and Rhys are going to go on a Bryaxis hunt, and they're going to fall in love and end up cheating on their mates with each other while Cassian goes off to Autumn to f*ck Eris and Feyre decides to explore her sexuality with Emerie." Like, okay, no, that's not gonna happen. 😂

But, with anything that really does seem to be thought of based on what's happened in the books and being foreshadowed - totally possible!

As for me, personally - I agree with a good chunk of this, but not sure on all of it, so I'm going to dive in to help explain better.

Lucien & Helion: Honestly, yes. I do agree more people will find out in the next book. I do hope it's saved mostly for the full novels over the novellas, as it's such a big plot point, so I really don't want anyone finding out in a novella, except maybe characters that would be completely unaffected by this. Like, for example, say people find out in book 5, then the Emorie novella comes out (that's my hope), and Mor reveals to Emerie about Lucien...unless Emerie and Lucien become besties in book 5, it really has very little effect on her life, so that's okay. But other IC members, for example - it needs to come out in a full novel.

That is, unless, it becomes the main plot point of a novella. But, since we know Lucien's story is likely to be in a novel, I find that unlikely.

So I do believe we'll start to see more. I think Cassian starting to see something in Lucien was a bit of foreshadowing, and my guess is that for the next book we'll see more of Lucien and E\ain, just like we saw more of Az in ACOSF - as the way to build up their book.

In terms of how it'll be added, I've added thoughts on that in the next section.

As for Eris & Helion, I honestly don't think we'll see Eris "getting" Helion to kill his father. Whether or not something happens between Helion and Beron, who can say? It's possible. But I don't see Eris playing much of a role in that, just potentially benefiting from it. XD

Illyrians & Valkyries: I also agree the next book will have more focus on this. ACOSF was about the creation/establishment of the Valkyries, and I think book 5 will have a focus - though maybe smaller - on the building up of the Valkyries more. I also agree, believing that makes it harder to understand how Lucien's story will come into play.

BUT. With the knowledge that Gwyn's grandfather was an Autumn Court High Fae, and since we do believe there's likely to be a focus on the Valkyries, that's possibly where it could come in. If the book really is Az-Gwyn, we will see more of Gwyn's story and development, and if there is any relation to Lucien, then I think we'll get to see their relationship grow and develop. And that would be a prime spot to bring in the other aspect of the story and reveal it a bit more. Similarly, if it's more Eris and Gwyn getting to know each other, that could still be an opening for this plot point.

As for the Illyrians planning something to hit the Valkyries - I'm, honestly, not convinced. They already did that in bringing them into the Blood Rite, so it would be a rather similar plot point to once again have the Illyrians secretly plan to hurt the Valkyries.

I DO agree there will be conflict there, for sure. I think there's already growing conflict in Illyria, so that's where the main focus will be - the Illyrians are discontent, I think there was growing belief of a possible rebellion or something? So I think that's likely what will have a focus, and the Valkyries will come into play in a way that, I think, will act as a catalyst.

I could see the issue being that the Valkyries come round, proving how females can be trained, now with two Carynthians and an Oristian (sp? 👀), and they could become a beacon for Illyrian females. Especially with Emerie, proving what you can do even with clipped wings (what a badass). And maybe they start to get the females training more. They'll still have their training at the House, considering the priestesses, but Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn (hopefully), I'm guessing, will do stuff in Illyria with Cassian and Az.

Az & Illyrians: I definitely agree. One of the biggest aspects of most characters' emotional arcs is accepting themselves, who they are, who they were born to be. And that's going to be a HUGE part of Az's emotional journey, because we know he doesn't accept himself. Just as I believe E\ain's will be revolving around accepting herself as being High Fae, Az's will likely revolve around accepting his heritage. He tries to pretend on so many levels that he's not an Illyrian, but he is. He can't hide it. That's part of who he is.

And I get it. The Illyrians can kinda suck. Az and Cassian are two opposite sides of the spectrum of having a hard time with their heritage. Cassian hates the way they are, and wants to change it, but also desperately wants their approval (bby boi <3). Az, on the other hand, literally wants to never deal with them and act as if he's not one of them.

So I agree about that part of Az's emotional journey. I think it'll involve more, with him finally understanding he is worthy of love and accepting every part of himself, but the Illyrian side is a big piece.

Overall, I'd say I agree with a lot of what you've said. I typically don't think too much about possible future plot points the way I do relationships and other things, mostly because I generally plan to be surprised. LOL But, in thinking about it, that's sort of where I end up on possibilities, especially when thinking about ways in which we might see certain things play out. I definitely have no idea what the big climax will be, nor am I sure how it'll tie to the overarching plot. Plot is, admittedly, one of my weaker links - I'm not good at big climaxes...👀 So no way can I guess what another author would do. But in terms of build up to major plot points, those are my thoughts.

Thanks for the question! :)

[rpbetter]

I'm a novella roleplayer who writes long-term threads. Since this is very rare on tumblr, I've noticed that many muns are intimidated or put off by how much I write, how much information there is on my muse, and other things inherent to long-term roleplay. People have even told me outright, "I'm intimidated by you". But I do wonder if there's another component besides, well, just the amount of writing I do. Maybe there's a way to negate some of this by using certain techniques, wording, etc in my rules and overall presentation. Do you have any advice on how to reduce how intimidating I seem, even with the amount of writing I do? Any particular things I should avoid? And at what point should I just not worry about it, because it's out of my control?

Hello, Anon! Thank you very much for this question, I think it's a discussion many could benefit from. That should probably be head's up for everyone that this is going to get long, yes.

People have also told me, outright, that they're "intimidated," and I know that's something my writing partners have been told as well. It's also something that seems to be a common statement toward novella roleplayers in particular, and one's chance of having it said increases with factors such as being a long-term RPer, particularly good vocabulary, visible skill with writing, and indeed, having a muse you've dedicated obvious time to developing - made obvious in not only the amount of information available on your muse but also in your confidence about that muse.

I honestly do not think most people who say this any more realize that it's a little offensive than they know precisely what it is they are trying to tell you. Regardless, it makes it a bit hard to know what you're doing, if it's actually something wrong, is it something you can or should change, or is it just another case of being the minority in the RPC, therefore, having more muns out there that you're not suited to writing with? No one knows, because it's vague!

So, I’m additionally going to beg everyone out there to not say this. Please, if you find yourself categorizing another RPer as “intimidating,” do everyone a favor and consider what is making you feel this way, even if you never tell them this. Eventually, you will tell someone, and if you’ve thought on it already, you’ll be better able to express yourself in a way that is neither offensive nor vague. If you do tell someone they are “intimidating,” expand on it and be specific. Tell them whether it is the length, writing style, the mun OOC, it’ll be very helpful. You needn’t be shitty about it, just honest and polite.

Try: “I’m not confident enough to write with you, I don’t feel like I’m capable of writing that much, or that well, but I would love to keep following so I can read it!”

You’ve not been offensive at all, but have told them what your difficulty is. You’ve also kept this a you problem, not a them problem. When we tell people they are “intimidating,” that is a negative connotation that implies they are doing something wrong. We've made it a Them Problem. Maybe there is something they could work on, but your feelings over perceived limitations aren’t their problem. They can’t change the way you feel about yourself and your writing in contrast to theirs. By saying it this way, it’s still clear that you don’t think this will work out, you’ve told them why, and you’ve done it without projecting responsibility.

Alright, sorry, just in case anyone out there who says this and isn’t immediately turned off by the length of this reads it.

As I said, I've been told this as well, when it seemed like a mun that would be alright with me asking for specifics, I have. Unfortunately, they couldn't describe those specifics in any more detailed terms. I'm not saying this to shame anyone's capacity to describe their impressions or wishes, sometimes even the best writers aren't good at expressing themselves more personally. I'm just saying that a clearer description wasn't possible, and that I am taking this from what has been expressed by these people and others in limited ways, directly stated or vented about vaguely.

The length appears to be the predominating issue.

"It's just a lot," "I feel like I'd miss things in it," "intense," and "I like quicker back and forth" are some of the major points that have been made to or around me. They're the first and primary things that are mentioned, and they all deal with the length (though, the intensity thing also deals with the writing itself).

As you already know, as a novella RPer and how unpopular that is, the length is usually an issue, yes. Let me rephrase that - it is an issue that is a part of the vague descriptor of being "intimidating," I do not feel that lengthy RP itself is a problem! Just the problem that some muns are having with seeing you as a viable, approachable RP partner.

Looking at someone's writing is something I always highly advise doing while looking for new partners, but I believe that our writing as novella RPers can obscure it for some when they're not actively a writing partner yet, thus, not involved in it. I enjoy reading threads I am not a part of, and since everyone I write with is also novella, that means I'm essentially reading short stories every time I do - that's not typical. Most people just see Wall of Text in a novella thread they're not involved in.

It's kind of a seeing the individual trees in a forest situation, and might not have anything to do with the mun's potential interest or viability as a partner. I mean, I doubt you're looking to engage interest of short multi-para or one-line muns, since that isn't your preferred writing type and yours is not theirs. So, you're likely looking at the few and far between other novella and any lengthier multi-para muns. So, it's not going to be an issue of simply being novella, thus immensely overwhelming and not their thing. It's more likely to be that your novella is particularly lengthy, and again, they're not yet involved in it. They’re seeing a task, not the fun engagement of it yet.

I know that I've had several mid to lengthier multi-para muns approach me wanting to write, they're usually interested specifically in beginning to move toward doing novella. They also see the fruits of these great storylines, OOC friendships, and in-thread relationships on the dash, not the building that went into them. The expectation is different from the reality, and once they start receiving my replies, that can quickly turn overwhelming. They've now got something on their hands that has been too lengthy for other, established novella writers, and it's all at the beginning still with the muses.

This is when I tend to get that I'm intimidating from people who have begun to write with me, and I think it is telling of the Wall of Text problem with partners you've not gained yet, too. The problem of how they're viewing the writing is that they do not see things within it that are immediately, and easily, engaging to them specifically.

The people I referenced, they're having the same problem. Our muses do not know each other, there is no established connection of animosity or affection, no "dynamic" to fuel their replies. When looking at a lengthy novella reply and trying to judge interest in writing with the mun, they're naturally not going to see that either, since it doesn't exist yet.

And it might not exist at all.

I want to be clear to everyone that I am not saying one needs to write in a way that is not enjoyable to them, I'm just guessing at problems based on the majority of the RPC's interests and what I have been told over the years, a lot of years. Like, no one come at me about forcing anyone to write anything, or being acephobic or something fucking nuts, thanks!

People are really, really into the romantic ships. I do not care what the RPC says because it knows it's the right thing to say lol if it wasn't true, it wouldn't be a huge, and totally observable as true, problem that characters who are hard to ship with or do not ship are passed over. Regardless of beautiful writing, engaging muses, and incredible worldbuilding, they're passed over because they're not a ship partner in the waiting.

So, it's quite possible that if you do not have threads in which there are observable ships, muns are seeing the Wall of Text because there's nothing that grabs at their particular interests. I don't even just mean smut, either. I've found that far more muns than there used to be are willing to not write that, but they still want the ships.

You might be a RPer who does not do shipping at all, has a difficult to ship with muse, or who simply does not place this as a priority in your own interests. There is nothing wrong with either direction of this preference! It’s alright for people to have preferences, even if they can feel annoying to us because they’re leaving us out, or we genuinely just do not get the thrill. It’s totally okay for people to not be interested in shipping, or not place a particularly high value on it, and more muns than the RPC realizes feel this way. It’s as unpopular, and far more limiting, take on RP as being here openly only for them is. There’s nothing wrong with you as a writer or a person if you don’t write ships and smut, but it is the opposite of many people’s interests here. This would be something you can’t control, yeah. It’s still good to know as a part of the puzzle!

They see a lot of things they do not have any instant feelings about and/or what they perceive as interaction points. As, unfortunately, the predominant mode of writing here is reactive, and in brutal honesty, often self-interested. It's not rewarding to many muns in this RPC to build stories cooperatively together for the sake of those stories and love of the muses, they require putting their muse on display, having impassioned interactions through that muse's reactions.

So, you might be writing the most vivid scenes, the most beautiful character study, and letting your muse be a fleshed out, realistic person, but they're seeing "I can't react to this."

Which is, by the way, bullshit. Not just that it's bullshit as a way to try to write together, it's also bullshit in that you can react to anything. You can react to, literally, nothing. If you're muse has said not a word to mine for an entire reply, not physically interacted with them, they're just sitting there in a chair staring off into space (also not a great way to write, but I'm giving an extreme example) the whole time, I can react to that.

To be fair, my primary muse is really uh, busy, let's say lol it does make him both incredibly easy to interact with and very easy to generate natural reactions from. And that might also be a problem people are having...

Your muse is quiet.

They're the opposite of someone who is physically or verbally “busy.” They think more than they move or speak, they remain at emotional, verbal, and physical distances from others. The quiet, and still, type on the outside.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I love reading a muse's internal processes because I'm approaching this as a reader as much as I am a writer. It doesn't need to be something my muse can know or react to for me to enjoy it, I want to enjoy your muse, other people's muses are part of the joy of RP for me. And not just in what I might achieve having mine interact with them. There are muses mine very, very much did not work out with that I have continued to enjoy the stories of for years without writing with them!

But that's me. And I'm weird.

A lot of people are going to look at the sort of writing, particularly when not involved with it yet, and see...Words. Maybe they don't find them boring or any such thing, but they can't so easily envision themselves responding to it with the sort of vigor required to reply with length in kind. It's again the same dual issue going on that might just be making your writing difficult to approach.

It might be legitimately daunting, and might be more so if...

You're well-written.

One would think this would be a boon to written roleplay, but I haven't seen it be that in a long time. On tumblr, that has weirdly come to signify "elitism."

It's not just more legitimately intimidating for some out there because they feel they cannot write as well as you, might appear lacking or boring, end up dropped because of it. No, of course not! It's tumblr, where decent behavior as well as logic comes to die! It's because they've gotten the idea that you might be shitty to them because you posses more experience, skill, or innate talent with writing.

That's not helped when every time someone is told on any basis at all, in any manner at all, or one has any existent expectations for RPing that someone else might take issue with as though they're being forced to comply with them instead of not interacting, people freak out and call it elitism. Since most people who choose to be mutuals only and as such, are going to have to decline sometimes, are also those who are lengthier RPers...we're all categorized as Elitists.

People see what works for us as different kinds of RPers as something that is in opposition to them, and judgement of them. We can’t have scores of active partners when we write ten thousand word or more replies to everyone, it doesn’t work for us, and that doesn’t mean we think you’re an awful RPer for doing this differently than we do. We’re just exercising boundaries that are necessary for the way we enjoy it. Like how much length in return, literacy, and dedication we’re going to give and expect in return. It isn’t passing judgement, but when you want to write with a particular portrayal and they’re limited threads, mutuals only, novella and it shuts you out of the interaction, it’s easy to agree with the posts you’ve seen condemning differences of choice as elitist and hateful.

While you'd hope that people would exercise their own judgement, with the way that the RPC is so often on edge, you can't entirely blame people for being willing to believe they can identity a potential source of unpleasantness to avoid. As wild as it is, that includes people within the novella community. Your OOC is too well-spoken, your writing is too well-written? Might be an elitist. Even while they write much the same way as you do without realizing it!

I think when most people say someone here is "intimidating," it's not exactly what they mean, but for others, it's more literal than it is literary.

If you have any reason to believe this might be part of the issue, while I would never advise anyone to alter their writing to be something they personally feel is lesser than what they're capable of, you might want to consider a greater air of the casual in any OOC posts you make. Try to be as approachable there as you can - so long as that doesn't mean lying about it, of course! If we're genuinely not that gregarious or socially open, we shouldn't act like that's the case. That sets up one party with expectations that are neither true nor going to prove anything but frustrating to the other party.

I've had some success with that! And, even at my most casual, I'm not the most approachable of people lol I come off as rather intense, kind of aggressive, way too salty, curses flow from me like water during a monsoon, interspersed with...well, things like "interspersed." So, if I've seen success with that, it's possible that muns who are more genuinely gregarious, chill, and verbally polite people might see it as well!

It seems to be a case of allowing other muns the opportunity to see that you, yourself, are not frightening. You're just a person like they are, and a person who isn't going to be hateful to them if they are not perfect writers or perfectly on your level of writing. When that is apparent, approaching the writing itself is more openly done - yes, this mun has a grasp on description/dialogue/vocabulary/descriptive scenes that I do not, but they don't aggressively think they're the shit for it, so, it's safe for me to try to interact.

The Wall of Words that was once a poster for how badly they might be treated is now a collection of RP replies.

Write for the partners you want to attract.

Again, I do not want anyone to stop writing in the way they enjoy! However, what we put out is also what we attract to a large degree. It could be that your writing is an attractant for only a very small portion of the RPC, and it already is, by virtue of being both novella and the sort of novella it is.

That's very easy to do anyway, but even more so if we have few partners to write with. What we have on display is minimal, it might not have the range we're actually capable of, and therefore, might not be attracting that range of muns.

This is something I have experienced as well, though it was a little different a situation. Upon first writing RP on tumblr, I couldn't find anyone writing novella. I could barely find anyone doing short multi-para. Just as I'd find it inappropriate for someone approaching me to insist that I do one-line RP because it's what they do, I didn't find it appropriate to force novella on these muns. That's what I agreed to by interacting with them, after all! It isn't what I enjoy doing, however, it's harder for me to write short replies, so, I was consistently on the lookout for novella partners.

Those novella partners couldn't exactly see decades of my lengthy RPs, though, since they didn't take place on tumblr. They could only see the current threads, which were all quite short and rather limited in range of action, tone, muse interaction, and so on. Basically, just about whatever someone was willing to give me, and those things were pretty similar. I couldn't exactly blame potential partners for looking at this "resume" and thinking that I just thought I wanted to write novella, but was capable of neither that nor the sort of stories I wished to create.

Since I couldn't find partners to organically give me these different things, I wrote them sans partners. Much of this was in headcanon form, showing that I had spent quite a long time thinking about my canon character as more than was presented in canon only, as well as showing that I could string more than a paragraph together, but it seems like you've got the muse information down, so this might not be the best direction for you.

That might be the other thing I wrote to this end: one shots.

Especially as I do not do open starters as someone who requires some plotting, these served as a way of allowing various situations to be displayed in which other muns could better see what interacting with my muse was actually like. They could see that this truly is the way I'd prefer to write, this is a better display of my muse under various conditions and emotions, and this is how interacting with my muse as this or that type of person might go.

I don't know if you have a canon, OC, or multiples of both, but it also seemed to be helpful that I took canon events people might be familiar with and wrote snippets of them from my muse's perspective - yes, even if they were already in those events, it shows your unique portrayal. People like that for the same reason they like fanfic, a dozen people can write a canon event and give you a dozen different takes on it. It meant that they'd be more likely to read it at all, too, let's be honest.

If you have an OC, you can flesh out a fandom-specific verse they have by writing such a one shot revolving around a fandom event. I'd say not to directly insert your OC into a major canon event, but if you're going to anyway, be sure you are giving realistic changes that might occur with this character's presence in that event. Not going overboard and making them the thing that saves the day, not just having them there in the midst of some great cataclysm miraculously surviving to bear witness only. It's still my advice to place them within that world and have them aware of an event.

Something like...trying to think of a fandom and event the most people would be familiar with here...your OC is in the MCU or has a verse there, they're employed as a police officer with the NYPD - tell me what they did at work the day of the invasion in New York City in the 2012 Avengers. Did they see superheroes in the distance while they and their fellow officers were engaged in a situation they were in no way equipped to handle? And how did your OC feel about that?

That sort of thing.

If it's a canon, try to think of a situation that isn't represented among your current threads, but that is also going to be of interest potential partners. If you have few threads showing your muse in friendship with another, find something in their canon that does. No threads with much action, go for that. Show an aspect of your muse that was present when they were younger, but that is downplayed in them now. Show some things that will be new information from your unique portrayal, and do all of this while displaying your range as a writer - you can be more serious or more fun, can destroy someone with angst or make them hope a ship works out well.

This way, you're showing people what all they might get, not just what you've been given to work with. That can go a long way toward negating feelings of "intimidation" if all they're seeing is you doing one thing extremely well, so well that they feel they cannot compete with it. So, yeah, write the things you feel you're not good at, too! It puts people at ease to see you're not perfect either.

As regards rules...

Oh, boy...lmao with no intent to inflame anyone's righteousness here, so long as your rules are conveying what you feel they should, they're fine. I'm not going to say that rules cannot be a turn off, that you shouldn't find a voice that is clear, polite, and when it needs to be, firm. It's simply that you do not come off as someone who needs to be told that, Anon. If you're worried about how your rules might sound, they're almost certainly fine.

However, rules are the way they are for a reason - if you feel like you're coming off as too strict, harsh, whatever, there might be a reason why that was your first inclination. If you remake them to be softer, are you going to run into the same problems that caused you to harden them before?

I know, you're trying to attract people and downplay a notion of being "intimidating," but it's important to realize that, short of either finding a way to please everyone who comes across them or telling everyone to do whatever they please, you have no opinions, expectations, or needs, you're going to put people off. I've seen people be incredibly offended by the nicest of rules simply because they were rules. They were still clearly stated boundaries that did not align with what was desired.

For example, if I were to have in my RP rules the following:

My rules are basically just have fun and don't be a dick! This is just a hobby, I'm not paying you.

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because that's, firstly, incredibly vague, secondly, the latter part has become seriously negative.

If I were to have in my RP rules this:

I have a lot of detailed rules because I want to only write with people who will be as dedicated to it as I am, I'd rather we know now than later that we're not a good match before anyone is disappointed or offended!

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because it is contrary to the way they view and partake in the hobby. To these people, it'll come off as ridiculous expectations that are aggressive despite the wording not being so.

The point is, because this is a hobby dependent upon interacting with other people, there is a lot that is out of your control.

I probably should have done a better segue to this, but hey - most of this is out of your control.

By its very nature of individuals interacting, what is "intimidating" means different things to everyone. What I find to be that, isn't going to be what you find to be so. You can't know what someone, let alone everyone who says this, means by it in order to make those changes.

Some of those changes are a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, like the rules.

Other changes are undesirable. You, obviously, cannot RP without partners, but it's no good making changes that will see the partners you won't work with being added, or that will ruin the things you enjoy about RP. If changing your writing style is going to do that, don't do it. If opening up new types of plots is going to do so, don't do it. Anything that is going to excessively give you stress or personal disappointment isn't a change you should make. That’s the sort of shit that was meant by it being “just a hobby” in the beginning - you’re not obliged to make yourself miserable like you are at a job sometimes, and you aren’t beholden to the standards of a professional author unless you wish to be.

It's wonderful that you're addressing this problem from the perspective of what you can do! The idea of changing much of anything is a negative one to many people. They have to be carefully approached to even consider that as a possibility, and once they do, it's more often than not that the reaction is volatile. We never think we're perfect until someone so much as loosely implies we might need work on something. So, your willingness and interest in what you can do to fix something nebulous is both incredible and a credit to how approachable you probably are in all actuality.

It bodes really well, is what I'm saying lol or...it would, if this were not the environment that it is. One in which people do react with volatility to anything that does not go exactly and immediately the way they desire. Including wanting to interact with a particular muse, then seeing that the mun doesn't write in their preferred style, length, or with their desired topics.

Many times, that's really what is meant by "intimidating." It isn't truly that they're afraid of you or your writing, but rather, that they're not getting exactly what they think they want, in the way they want, on the timeline they want. But they don't want to be offensive, they're walking on eggshells like most everyone is when telling someone, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we'll work out" is tantamount to personally attacking them.

So, giving what they feel is a compliment that still shuts down the possibility of someone trying to push for interaction anyway, that becomes the best approach. They're not giving you specifics because no, they may not even know those specifics, it might just be the feeling your writing gives them, but they're also not giving them when they have them because they don't want to be unfairly taken to task for the crime of being honest with you. After all, when we don't know someone OOC yet, we don't know that they're a reasonable person. Telling someone, "I like what you're doing, I love your muse, but the tone of your writing isn't something I can reply to, it's just too different," might have them defensively putting words in your mouth.

As I said, asking someone for details didn't get me very far. I've had to try to piece together what "intimidating" means to many different people over the years by what they tell me in conversations away from the mun they said was thus more than anything. So, don't expect that you'll get much either, but next time someone tells you this, if they seem like someone who won't take as you pressing for interaction and react badly, ask them to give you specifics. Tell them you'd like to know what makes you intimidating to them so that you can work on it, that it would really help you out to know. Make it about them helping you, not declining you.

Just going off of the only writing I have from you, which is definitely not sufficient (if you'd like, you can always submit a portion of your in character writing or tumblr message me some of it so that I might be able to be more effective) since it's both short and OOC, I'd say people might feel that you're not...relaxed? Not entirely the word I am looking for, I apologize! But something in that vein!

It doesn't come off like you're frighteningly or excessively official to me, but knowing tumblr, I can see it. Because you are quite well-spoken, and even in this casual format, you are displaying good grammar and principle. Fifteen years ago, I might have also felt something like “intimidated" by you!

Like everywhere, tumblr is full of educational snobbery. Which is insane, considering it's also full of crimes against writing that make me want to rip my hair out, but anyway...the mark of being authoritative is to display one's intellect the only way we truly can here - by suddenly out writing everyone. If we're already establishing ourselves as well-spoken muns, we've laid the foundation of being capable of utterly destroying someone publicly by shaming them on a core level.

Tumblr is also full of people who are not at a point of life experience, and the writing experience accrued within it, to use what they've learned in the higher education the majority have or are presently obtaining. It's easy for younger people to feel pre-offended by someone who writes with more skill and confidence than they do. They've bought into the notion of such validations of superiority, but they can't quite lay those down upon themselves yet, or see that they’re capable of this and it doesn’t make them an elitist, so, it’s absurd to assume everyone else is on the same pretext.

Please, everyone here under, like, 25, I'm not shaming you. I've obviously long internalized it as well! When I'm angry, I don't become less articulate, I become more so. That probably says something unpleasant about how well I understand this problem. So, don't be offended. It's a societal problem, we're all impacted by it. It just takes a little bit to realize these things is what I'm saying here. Not that you're dumb and malicious because you're young and learning.

With this in mind, it's very possible that some younger muns, or muns who have otherwise been given cause to feel they are lesser than you because of your proper writing, might be intimidated by it. Part of that is also that proper writing, and verbal speech, can come off as lacking warmth. It can be impersonal, give fewer clues as to someone's tone when that's already lacking in writing that isn't descriptive, as in an RP thread itself.

Again, I always have a bit of an issue recommending someone change something vital about themselves, and one's mode of writing is that. However, you might want to consider giving way to some indicators of not being official in your OOC behavior toward others. It's something that I did, something I will admit I still struggle with as well. I'm not naturally inclined to add things like a :) or a xD because I have some problems conveying those things either correctly or organically in person. If I'm not either, literally, acting or feeling something intensely, I'm the grand master of resting bitch face no matter what I'm feeling.

As a quick on-the-safe-side interruption: people, please, I am aware that some forms of neurodivergence can exhibit in struggles with understanding and conveying tone, as can be the side effect of some medications and physical conditions. It’s possible that you have this difficulty, Anon, it’s possible that some of the people you have approached do. Advising how to work on understanding and conveying tone with these difficulties in mind is a huge post of its own, however. (Though, if people might be interested in it, I can add it to the list, of course.) All we can do is try our best, work on it, and if we know we have this issue, politely warn partners in your rules so they know you’re not coming off less emotive and warm intentionally. You’re not thinking yourself in an ivory tower above them. I so do not want to be bitched at about how advising someone in ways to be more approachable in text is ableist, just don’t. I don’t know you, Anon, so I don’t know what difficulties you may or may not have, if you do have some complication that is impacting this in your own opinion, please, just send another ask and I can work with that information more specifically!

It's also...it grates on my nerves when people text speak, I'm not going to lie. So, forcing myself to do anything too close to it feels like someone has separated the halves of my brain. I do it because it can make people more comfortable, I don't sound like a damn robot like I easily can when trying to explain something with a lot of specifics, for example.

What was easier was letting go of the inhibition of writing conversationally. That is always something that is advised against intensely, it isn't proper writing. Don't write like you speak, and all that. It's often been my inclination to write conversationally, even if I struggled to let the hell go and actually do it, and when I allowed myself to do so, people responded to it much better. It's something I get compliments on as a part of what can make my storytelling immersive, humorous, relatable, and frightening. (Just so that the last bit there isn't confounding - in addition to the professional writing that sometimes pays for my internet, I write horror lol...now y'all know! I deal in "freak shit," I'm sure.)

People responded to me much better. I still get that my writing is intimidating, but it tends to be over length and wording more than being wholly unapproachable. Too like trying to respond to a novel that most people would only listen to if it was about a character they were deeply into and read by an actor they were also deeply into. There seems to be a more natural engagement with the material for more people this way.

I'm only using this as an example of something I found that worked to some degree in making me more approachable, meant to say that there might be something that you would enjoy, unique to yourself, that would make your writing more approachable for more muns. I'm in no way recommending that you, or anyone else, try to go with what I did! That isn't going to work out for everyone, of course. It isn't everyone's solution in those specifics, just the idea that following what people have expressed they especially enjoy about your writing could be a good path.

Other things to consider:

When you have obtained a new partner who says this not in declining further interaction, but within a conversation or one of those interaction memes, especially if you are writing them a starter at this time, experiment with what you can do in your writing that makes it more approachable. I say “experiment” because this is another point of individuality, it's naturally going to vary like everything else.

Like I said above a few times, most people approach RP in terms of reaction. And, again too, that's part of RP. I didn't say it earlier because I felt like that was obvious, but after considering...how tumblr is, I probably should say it. It is necessary to have things to react to in order to build the interaction between muses and their world. I believe in the “yes, and” method and having things to react to. My meaning by saying that people approach RP in terms of reactions was that people excessively do so. Their muses have trouble existing fully in their own right sometimes, they literally require multiple points of possible reaction.

So, give it to them while you’re figuring each other’s writing out.

When you're writing your starter or replies, give them what I call Actionable Points in unexpected places. For example, when your muse is doing as I said earlier, sitting in their chair, having Deep Thoughts they're not expecting any action within, give them something in the environment itself to interact with. Perhaps there is a pet, an insect, temperature change, or sound for their muse to notice.

He was still, as though the animating force of his very soul had flown. So entrapping were his thoughts that the ladybug making its way across the floor, technically before his eyes, escaped notice. No notice, even as it briefly took flight like a tiny, skipping stone across water, headed for where his attention would truly prefer to light as well.

Which would be, of course, the other muse in the room. They can't interact with the things in your muse's mind that you're revealing to the mun, but they can have their attention jump to the insect. They can also react to your muse’s facial expressions, most people make micro-expressions even while in thought, but this isn’t as active or available.

Just small, simple possibilities that make no difference to the immediate happenings in the thread. They can become things of great difference, that's half the fun of it! How something like a bug can alter the course of a thread's trajectory is really cool to see happen.

By doing this, feeding multiple Actionable Points into the reply, you're giving someone who feels intimidated by the thread's length and weight more points to feel active within it. If they can see themselves interactively within the text of the story, it's less intimidating I've found.

Eventually, people relax and start creating these points for themselves. They're now part of this story and its direction, so they organically see things within it. While their muse is in the room with the Chair Muse, they notice a ladybug on the floor themselves because they feel comfortable and confident enough to create that sort of realistic moment.

Most of my experiments of this nature have had that objective - make my writing partner feel more confident about their writing, muse, themselves. It either works out wonderfully, or...you can spoon-feed some people actions, ideas, and confidence forever without them ever taking up the spoon themselves (some people will totally miss the spoon every time, even). At the latter point, if they're still feeling unconfident about writing with you, "intimidated," it's never going to change. It might be better that this be addressed as something that simply isn't going to work out for either of you.

Because it can become tiresome to do this. Tiresome and disheartening, and you never want to set yourself up to feel like you've wasted your effort and energy. That's a great way to experience burnout and frustration.

Another thing to make yourself, and by nature of that, your writing, more approachable and available is to put out a decent variety of memes for people to send you and engaging in tagging games. Not only do these not need to be writing memes like starters, it's better that they are not! If someone is intimidated by you/your writing, they're not going to engage with a meme meant to begin a thread.

Reblog memes that are meant to be answered OOC like headcanon asks, writing asks, and asks about the mun. Do tag games with tests in them, bolding aesthetics or other information, and those that give details about the muse...or even yourself, there are Munday versions as well!

The point of doing this is to show people you want to interact with them, neither you nor your writing is scary and removed from the vox populi of the RPC. You're not someone with so much skill that you're above such common pursuits. You're just another RPer with the same things of interest as they do - enjoying yourself whether it's something silly like a quiz that tells you what coffee your muse would be or an in-depth headcanon. Just another mun who loves their muse and wants interactions with them.

This, too, is something I tried, and it might have been the most successful thing I did. It's even easier to do these days, as more muns don't just tag people outright, but rather, offer that anyone can take it, they just want to be tagged back so they can see the results. You don't have to wait for someone who neither knows you nor knows whether you'd be alright with being tagged to tag you in them anymore!

And as an aside, this is why I encourage that. I've seen some muns out there taking issue with it, thinking it lazy and less interactive for people to be forgoing tagging others in it. Yes, it is unfortunate that you might miss such a game from a mutual or friend, but you do realize you can go to their blog anytime? You can search their tag for these kinds of dash games, or scroll what you missed while you were away, and I recommend doing that anyway with close friends because tumblr's notifs are perpetually screwed.

It's not less inclusive, it's more so. I think it could even go a distance toward lessening the illusion that all friendships in the RPC are "cliques." Instead of the same five muns, none of whom are you, being tagged every time because they occur more quickly to the mun who interacts with them often, there is an open invitation for you to do it. It allows muns to be more visible to those they haven't established friendships with yet and allows others to put themselves out there as approachable and interested.

Alright, back on topic!

Send others these sorts of interactions when you see them. Unless someone has it in the tags or their rules that memes are only for established writing partners, send them an applicable meme.

Applicable, in this case, would be those OOC-answered memes. With most muns, it would be poor form to send in memes that are too personal. Such as sending someone you've never really spoken to, plotted with, etc. a particularly raunchy headcanon ask. I was going to give an example, but for the sake of keeping this SFW lol...we all know the sort of ask I speak of.

With some muns, this isn't an issue. Any excuse to talk about their muse is a good excuse, and they'd not have reblogged the meme if they did not intend for people to send it in. I know that I'm such a mun, and unless someone only ever sends me sexually explicit questions like this, I don't mind at all. It's just an aspect of my muse to detail in a HC.

Just exercise reasonable awareness - "read the room." If a mun seems to answer those questions from anyone, then it is alright to send them in. If they have established openness on these discussions, have nothing in their rules that would imply they'd be perturbed, etc. Conversely, if they've established such opposing behavior that you have to wonder why they posted this meme at all? Don't send anything from that one. They may be trying to establish greater comfort with these topics, but whether they realize it or not yet, they may not be ready for this to sent by anyone who isn't a very established writing partner/friend.

You want to be attracting good attention, demonstrating that you're not someone intimidating, not giving muns any reason to be disturbed by you. Even if they openly asked for it!

This brings us back to: no, really, a lot of things are out of your control.

How people view us isn't as up to us as we'd like, on or offline. Everyone has preconceived notions, biases, and developed preferences. And everyone has had experiences that lead them to react differently to all of these things where they do and do not exist.

Unfortunately, the RPC fosters a serious environment of paranoia, hostility, and the inherent defensiveness of both. Even when that is coming across more peaceably, it can lead to things like...the multiple muns I've known in the last two years alone that seem to almost panic and block potential partners for extremely negligible things they're perceiving as a red flag portending of inevitable bad behavior.

I really do mean irrational actions that are often contrary from one move to another. One potential partner is too exuberant in response to plotting, they are designated a red flag for being too inclined to pester OOC. Another is lacking exuberance and does not easily come up with plots, they are designated as being too passive a partner who will drop. One is too nice, they won't possibly be able to tell that mun of problems in the thread, another is too aggressive, they'll do nothing but stress the mun and fight with their friends. And on and on.

It's not an unreasonable situation, as we all continue to be reminded, the RPC is far more hostile than it should be for what it is. We all (that's not entirely true, but let us pretend it is) want to avoid problems and enjoy the hobby, but in the attempt to avoid those problems, we often see them where they are not.

So, you really cannot control whether someone designates you as being too much this, too little that, an inevitable problem. Your presentation is in the eye of the beholder, just as what "intimidating" is, is in the eye of the intimidated.

You can only try to identify the things that might be putting off the most people you want to write with, work on them when and where they will not ruin your time here, and hope for the best.

It's wonderful that you care, but it's also wonderful that you seem willing to accept that there are things you just have to let go of as already being out of your hands. That's honestly the best way to approach RP, period. The only things you are fully in control of are your own creativity and your behavior. That's it, in the end.

Present yourself with honesty as to who you are as a mun, be as approachable as you truly are, and know what you're looking for in writing partners.

Personally, from what little I have seen of you, Anon, there isn't anything that glaringly needs changing. You're not possessed of a shitty attitude or unrealistic expectations. You seem like a pretty reasonable mun to me who is struggling with something any of us who concentrate on the writing do; being vaguely told we're "intimidating," and seeking other partners who are interested in the same variety of RP we are.

That's my final point to touch on, and the one most likely to piss people off: there are different varieties of RP, and the people telling you this might be in the wrong corner for you.

That doesn't make them bad RPers or anything, variety is good, it's an open hobby! We're not all compatible, though, and so many problems arise from muns not accepting this reality, but rather, taking extreme offense over it.

No one I have ever established the sort of RP I enjoy most with has told me that I am "intimidating."

The people who have said this to me have been those who would not have worked out anyway. That's not said in some bizarre bitterness lol I have the best writing partners, I could not ask for anything more! It's just said in honesty of continuing to see them on my dash and/or interacting with friends. They blog and muse hop often, prefer the genres and fandoms I do not, and so on.

Changing to be less intimidating to those RPers would put me back where I started when joining the RPC here years ago, and while it's great that a lot of people enjoy RP the way they do, I don't. I worked rather hard to get away from it.

So, you do have to consider what you want. Do you want any partners, or do you want the right ones for you?

I'm genuinely glad that people are enjoying themselves, especially when they do not have hateful things to say about those who enjoy RP differently than themselves, but it'd be nice if some of the niches in the RPC were a bit wider! It shouldn't be this difficult to find people in a writing hobby who are invested in the writing, but it is. And it is something you should keep in mind when figuring out this whole "intimidating" thing.

So, my ultimate recommendation would be to assess whether there are things you can be doing to make you, as the mun, more approachable so that your writing is less “intimidating" to people within the RP corner you’re trying to attract, but consider whether the people who have said this to you might just be looking for different things and not as viable as partners as you might have liked. There are definitely more RPers on tumblr who do not enjoy RP in this way than there that do, and while the only thing you have control over is yourself, you don’t have control over how you and what you are putting out there is perceived.

I really do think that most of the “intimidation” problem comes from different varieties of RP and what muns have been led to believe about them. You check off a lot of boxes for the false perception of “elitism,” as a literate, long-term, novella RPer. People are going to see many things that you do in a threatening or off-putting light through no fault of your own because of that. Even other, lengthier writers can fall into that because they feel overwhelmed at the volume of content you have, for example. A thing that should be promising of how well-developed your muse is and how committed you are to your interest in them can come off as overwhelming to people who are less well established or interested in being around for the long game. I certainly don’t think it’s a good idea for you to remove that material or stop writing it! I cannot encourage people enough to do what you have!

Maybe, since you expressed concern of this specifically as well, you could consider how it is presented?

Do you have approachable formatting on those posts? Do they appear to be a lot of very plain text, or do you practice adding some graphics like a header and dividers, formatting that also breaks up the text like segmenting it into clear topics with bold, bigger text, and so on? Is it the opposite and potentially difficult to read, like using font that is smaller than the default small size available, or incredibly busy with colors? It’s a difficult balance, and one that will never be 100% appealing or accessible to 100% of the RPC, to make things visually appealing, easy to read, and informative while being engaging. It could be that you have information people would love to know, but the design of how you’re putting it out there is adding to them feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe, consider how it is placed on your blog, as well? Using specific tags for organization and having a detailed navigation might help. Instead of someone pulling up every one of your many HC posts in the HC tag you have, they could choose specific topics to view at their own pace with a little more control over it. Giving people some control in their experience can go a long way to giving them comfort in it!

So, let’s say you have a headcanon that addresses how your muse portrayal diverges from strict canon, and in that HC, it’s important to address their mental health and how it impacts their relationships with others. That’s a great HC, it’s going to be informative, but it has multiple topics within it. You’d want to tag it with the overall HC tag, a tag for your “player canon” topics, muse metal health discussions, and a general tag for your muse’s relationships/interactions with others.

When you do that, in your navigation, if someone clicked your tag-based link for all information pertaining to the muse’s mental health, they’ll just get that. They’ll see this headcanon post, they’ll see all relevant, tagged posts you’ve made or reblogged, but only that pertain to this topic. They won’t also get twenty extra posts that don’t discuss this, but do discuss your muse’s personal opinion on making bread at home and why sourdough is a labor of love. Unless, of course, your muse is partaking in that labor of love as an exercise that benefits their mental health, of course lmao

Delineating topics for people to engage with at their own pace, need, or interest can prevent them from scrolling through what could be hundreds of HC posts. We all desperately want people to read every one of our posts, especially if our portrayal is different from canon or popular fanon or we have an OC whose entire existence has to be learned this way, but we have to resist the temptation to make people read them all, and all at once. Because that is how it comes across when someone pulls up a ton of HCs - they may be super interested, but it’s a lot that they may put pressure on themselves to learn immediately, back to back to back. It begins to feel like a task quickly. Most people who are genuinely interested in your muse and writing are going to end up reading all of them eventually! If they don’t shut themselves down on doing so prematurely, and this could be a way of helping them avoid doing that.

Hell, if you’re really feeling it, you can even link to closely related posts and your navigation on those HC posts! Just mention at the top of the post that this is related to the one linked here, and to find more informative posts on any topic, please visit the navigation page here. You can even remind at the bottom of the post with just the links.

While like anything, it could make people feel you’re too organized and “serious” about RP, but you probably want other “too serious” RPers to interact with, so it might be a passive way of establishing partners that won’t work out. I think, for the right partners, an organized system they can interact with easily would be appealing, and again, a lot of people in the RPC do have problems that disrupt their ability to engage with a great deal of content at once. This might make them feel less overwhelmed and frustrated by themselves, or negative about themselves that they cannot but aspire to your level of content and organization.

Willing to bet that much of “intimidation” comes from negative feelings about oneself projected outward protectively and unconsciously, honestly. So, when you see ways to combat that, take it on. Make it clear that you’re not expecting anyone to be anything other than themselves, you appreciate your partners’ unique approaches and skills. The more of them you have, the more approachable you are proving yourself, too.

Since you are interested in long-term and have so much material on your muse, I have to assume this is a case of having gone on hiatus or had partners who have left. You could be appearing as less approachable because you’ve few interactions, and that’s a problem that will start correcting itself as you have more of them. If that’s the case, it may be adding serious frustration in the slow process of getting your foot back in the door, but I believe you can do it!

I hope people haven’t made you feel too anxious or bad about yourself by telling you you’re “intimidating,” Anon. Try not to internalize it or make into a more serious matter than it is! I really do think it has less to do with the RPer being told that than it does all these other factors, poor ability to express ourselves very much included. You’re interested in what you can do, willing to accept what you can’t do, overall approaching this from a chill and reasonable place, I think you’re going to find the people you need to with this attitude!

Keep at it, keep doing what you love, and my sincerest best of luck to you! Thank you for giving me the excuse to discuss this topic, it’s an important one that I hope made some difference to others out there as well. I apologize that took me a minute to get it out, and that it is still a bit more disjointed than I’d have liked.

[engie-ivy]

Remus and James find out Sirius has been hiding their friendship from his parents. Maybe they jump to conclusions a bit too fast.

“Apparently we, mere halfblood and blood traitor, are deemed unworthy of the heir of the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’. I suppose he doesn’t want to lose face by letting his precious pureblood relatives find out he has befriended such inferior wizards.”

A bunch of berks

“What the fuck, Sirius!” James is standing with his hands on his hips, glaring at Sirius. If the tone of his voice and his posture weren’t enough to show his anger, the fact that he uses Sirius’ name instead of his nickname does it.

“What’s going on?” Remus asks warily, as he approaches their table.

“Prongs has been reading my letter from home,” Sirius says, glaring at James.

Remus looks from Sirius to James. Sirius never talks about his family. Remus and James only know what everyone knows based on their reputation: they’re supposedly stiff, old-fashioned, and narrow-minded. Remus and James never bring them up either. They know Sirius isn’t like that, and that’s enough. Besides, you can’t really ask your best mate ‘oi, are your parents really as horrible as everyone says?’

James rolls his eyes. “Not on purpose! It was lying on the table and I picked it up, not knowing what it was.”

“And you didn’t realise until after you read the whole thing?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Then I was too appalled to stop reading!” James snaps back. He straightens the piece of parchment in his hand. “Moony, hear this!”

Remus opens his mouth to say he really doesn’t want to hear Sirius’ private correspondence without his permission, but what James reads to him makes the words die in his throat.

“ ‘We don’t see why you should want to stay at Hogwarts for the Holidays. Gryffindor already has hardly any decent purebloods, and I expect the few there are will be going to their families themselves. It is quite pointless for you to stay there on your own’ Or this sentence! ‘We understand that in such an abdominal environment as Gryffindor House the temptation to form relations with witches or wizards of a lesser descent can be strong, but we expect you will be sensible enough to continue to solely associate with decent purebloods, or at least as decent as the ones in Gryffindor can be’.”

Remus frowns. “Solely associating with purebloods? That doesn’t make any sense.” The Potters are infamous blood traitors in their circles, and no one would mistake the Lupins for purebloods.

“Well, you see, Moony,” James says. “Turns out Sirius here has been hiding our friendship from his family.”

Remus stares at Sirius. “Why?”

James huffs. “Apparently we, mere halfblood and blood traitor, are deemed unworthy of the heir of the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’. I suppose he doesn’t want to lose face by letting his precious pureblood relatives find out he has befriended such inferior wizards.”

Sirius grits his teeth. “I never said that!”

“So you deny that you’ve been purposely hiding our friendship to please you’re parents and their blood supremacy ideas?”

“No, but-“

“Well then,” James cuts him off.

“It’s not important whether they know!” Sirius says, almost sounding desperate. “They’re not important.”

“If they weren’t important to you, you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of pretending!” James argues back.

“You’re embarrassed about being friends with us?” Remus whispers. “You’re ashamed of us?”

Sirius looks at him with big, pleading eyes. “Moony, no...”

Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus knows they’re maybe being a bit unfair. They’re jumping to conclusions without giving Sirius a chance to explain. But James is raised in such a way that he’s completely allergic to anything that even leans towards blood supremacy, and Sirius pretending to uphold his parents blood supremacy ideas is definitely enough to set him off. And Remus... Remus is not a very confident person, but if there’s anyone who makes him feel like he’s worth a damn and good enough just the way he is, then it’s Sirius. And to now find out that Sirius is actually ashamed of him... Well, that hurts. A lot. So neither Remus nor James is really thinking clearly.

“Is this also why you never want to meet up during the breaks?” Remus asks.

“I hadn’t even thought of that!” James says. “I guess we’re good enough to hang out with at Hogwarts, without many other options, but when you can also choose to be with your precious pureblood friends and family, we don’t make the cut anymore.”

“That’s not... I don’t even have...” Sirius sputters. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

“Don’t know what it’s like?” Remus asks, incredulously. “You really think our parents didn’t have any reservations when they heard we befriended a Black? But we stood up for you! We told them you were nothing like the rumours say. We defended you, but I guess you didn’t feel like doing the same for us.”

Sirius stares at the ground. “I just didn’t think it was worth all the trouble,” he says softly.

“We weren’t worth it?” James asks. “Okay then, noted. We were wrong when we defended you anyway. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. They can be proud of you.”

Sirius just stares at him for a while, face gone pale. For a moment, Remus thinks he’s going to tell James not to talk shite about his family, but then he just turns around and walks away.

Remus sighs. “I don’t think we handled that very well. What he does and doesn’t tell his parents is his own choice, after all.”

“But he’s been pretending to uphold their blood supremacy ideas!” James says defensively. “Or what if he’s not pretending with them, but with us?”

Remus shakes his head. “Prongs, we’ve known him for years! One letter can’t suddenly make him an entirely different person.”

James sighs. “I suppose you’re right. It’s none of our business if he wants to play the perfect pureblood son for his parents.” He looks hesitantly in the direction Sirius had gone off to. “Should I go after him?”

“Probably not right now,” Remus replies. “He’s upset, we’re angry and hurt. It’s probably best if we all calm down a bit and then have another conversation about it.”

They still have classes the rest of the day. Sirius doesn’t sit with them, and looks positively miserable. That’s enough for Remus to whish they had just talked it out right away. To make a bad day worse, they have to face Boggarts in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Remus is anxiously standing in line next to James. What kind of mad professor would think it okay to let students face their biggest fears in front of all their peers?

Soon enough, it’s Sirius’ turn, and Remus and James watch in amazement as the Boggart turns into his mother. Remus recognizes her from the glimpses he has seen at King’s Cross, but even if he hadn’t, it’s clear from her haughty air and typical aristocratic features. What’s also hard to believe, is that Sirius actually flinches when he sees her.

Even with having learned that morning that Sirius has been lying about their friendship to live up to his parents’ standards, it still comes as a shock to Remus that it’s actually Sirius’ biggest fear to disappoint his mommy. It seems so unlike Sirius, and quite frankly, it pisses Remus off that he cares so much about that lot’s good opinion. Judging by the way James’ jaw has tightened, he feels much the same.

They fully expect Sirius’ mother to begin scolding him, and they’re quite taken aback when she... smiles. It’s an approving and proud smile, and she looks at Sirius with admiration.

“Sirius, my son,” she speaks fondly. “You are truly a perfect representative of the Black family values. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. We’re so proud of you,” she finishes with almost an exact echo of James’ words.

Sirius puts on a brave face, squares his shoulders, and casts a well-aimed Ridikkulus. The black stole his mother is wearing over her robes suddenly turns into a big, black dog, very reminiscent of Padfoot, who jumps on the ground and bites her in her arse. She jumps with a shriek and the Boggart retreats. Sirius turns around and walks out of the room not meeting anyone’s eye.

Students are whispering and Professor Flitwick looks confused. After all, why would someone’s biggest fear be their mother being proud of him?

Remus stares after Sirius. So he’s not afraid of falling out with his family and earning their disapproval. He’s actually afraid of fitting in with his family and earning their approval.

James grimaces. “We really buggered up, didn’t we?”

Sirius is sitting on the stairs with his knees tucked against his chest. James sits down on one side of him, and Remus on the other.

“We’re a bunch of berks,” James says. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you have every right.”

Sirius shrugs. “You weren’t wrong. I have been hiding out friendship from my family.”

Without thinking, Remus wraps an arm around Sirius’ waist and he feels a tingle in his stomach when Sirius leans in to him. “We were just attacking you without giving you a chance to explain. We judged you without knowing the situation. We’re sorry, Padfoot.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“You did nothing wrong,” James argues.

“I made you believe I was ashamed of you. I hate that,” Sirius replies. “You must believe me when I say I don’t think myself better than you because of the bloody blood that flows through my veins! Quite the opposite,” he adds with a murmur.

“Of course we believe you!” James exclaims. He nudges Sirius with his shoulder. “How could we not? You just irrefutably proved that being like your family is your literal worst fear! We’d have to be massive idiots to not believe you.”

“Well...” Sirius says with a teasing smirk.

“Oi!” James shoves Sirius playfully.

Remus laughs, but something is still gnawing away at him. If Sirius doesn’t seek his parents’ approval, why hide their friendship from them? For that matter, they still don’t know why they never see him during the breaks. And his own mother being his biggest fear is just wrong, especially with the way Sirius flinched upon seeing her. Something is off.

But for now, James and Sirius are laughing together again. For now, Sirius is pressed up against Remus, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder, with Remus’ arm firmly around his waist. For now, it’s alright.

[bestworstcase]

Hi, I really love your thoughts and analysis on tts so I wanted to ask if you have read The Vanishing Village Book? It made me really think about Eugene's character. I sorta disliked him in the book and felt his relationship with Rapunzel was different and strained. I guess my question is if you think Eugene is a good character? I feel that I am biased for liking the story and relationship between Cassandra and Rapunzel so perhaps I am not seeing him in a fair light but there's just factors that make me feel he might not be the best for Rapunzel. I love their relationship and value & dedication towards each other but their relationship can feel a bit stale sometimes and Eugene can come off as not understanding and dismissive towards Rapunzel sometimes so ig I'd like to be proven wrong and be reminded that Eugene is good for Rapunzel

i have read vanishing village (and i remember liking it better than lost lagoon) but i have to admit i don’t remember anything but the very broad strokes of the plot, so i don’t feel equipped to do any analysis of eugene based on it; that being said -

i do really like eugene as a character in the sense that he is. interesting / engaging / compelling, which yeah to my mind that’s what makes a “good character” but also has nothing to do with the, kind of, moral or personal question of but is he a good guy or is he likable or sympathetic or that kind of thing. and on that my feelings are more ambivalent kfjfjdhs

on the one hand i do find his relationship with rapunzel in tts to be fairly refreshing. it’s nice to see a fictional m/f couple that is just… comfortable with each other, friends with each other, able to talk about their problems collaboratively with each other. that is so rare in fiction, where the tendency is so often to rely on miscommunication to manufacture relationship drama or do the will they won’t they, on again off again nonsense which is just so tiresome - and it feels good to have a m/f couple that eschews that altogether. and it’s also imo really nice that the m/f relationship fades so much into the background vis a vis the wider plot, which i know is not necessarily a popular opinion [vague gestures at all the ‘eugene was sidelined’ discourse] but, like, i feel like i can count on one hand the number of stories i know where the female protagonist *has a male love interest* without the story being ABOUT him, and with the male love interest filling this supportive narrative role while quietly and subtly dealing with his own problems on the side? it’s so difficult to find stories where men aren’t centered and so i appreciate eugene and new dream a lot for that reason too.

but at the same time like - eugene def falls victim to the plot-driven writing just like every other character does and that frustrates me because i think ultimately having all these loose threads hanging with him means his character feels a bit stagnant, and that in turn makes his flaws more glaring because they’re never… worked on or addressed, they just sort of persist or silently fade away for the most part. (which again, is true of literally every character because the storytelling of tts is highly plot driven and episodic)

& that phenomenon can make character interpretation a little convoluted, because… well the intentions of the narrative are signaled pretty baldly (eugene grows out of his selfishness and becomes a compassionate hard working leader for corona, which he has embraced as his home) without having much if any on-screen development to back it up (indeed the premise of flynnposter involves eugene shirking his new responsibilities, and then it concludes with a commitment from him to take the captain gig seriously - but thereafter the only time we get to see this demonstrated through him encouraging project obsidian [which makes him look the opposite of compassionate or responsible given he is excitedly planning to extrajudicially murder cassandra] and then joining the fight against zhan tiri [which literally everyone in corona does]). so do we take what the textual development shows us and conclude that eugene is, at the end of the day, just another cop, or do we take the narrative signaling as a given and fill in the textual gaps with our own imaginations? i tend to fall heavier on the textual side but i do try to take intentions into consideration when they are signaled so clearly, because i understand the structural and corporate limitations on what the tts team were able to do with the story.

anyways - i also have some fraught feelings about new dream because, in the film, it’s not a relationship that i can buy into at all. rapunzel is 17, a few days shy of 18, when an adult man in his mid-twenties tumbles into her bedroom, hits on her, tries to take advantage of her naïveté so he can recover his stolen goods and screw her over because he’s spent his life cultivating an attitude of selfish disregard for anyone but himself, but she’s so sweet he decides to give emotional vulnerability a try and within three days they’re in love and then they get MARRIED?? and he’s literally the first person rapunzel has ever met who wasn’t her “mother”? excuse me???

and i get the impression the tts team was fully cognizant of that problem and made a real effort to address it, as much as they could within the context of the designated disney princess couple - that’s how we get things like the BEA proposal and rapunzel and eugene talking their feelings out afterwards and agreeing to take things slower, and that’s how we get things like rapunzel having cass and eugene having lance so they have lives and identities and relationships outside of each other, and it’s why eugene has a little arc of becoming less self-absorbed in the front half of s1 and why cassandra overtly criticizes his treatment of rapunzel in BEA and so on and so forth. like no one says it OUT LOUD in the series but rapunzel’s and eugene’s relationship is fraught with peril because of the way they met and came together, and it takes significant emotional work from both of them to navigate that to arrive at a healthy place, and i enjoy watching that play out.

so yeah eugene is sometimes too in his own head to notice when something is wrong with rapunzel, like how he misses how unhappy she is in BEA because *he’s* so jazzed about palace living, and sometimes they struggle to get on the same page with each other in general; but that’s just, kind of the gig where relationships are concerned. what matters to me is that whenever these hiccups happen we see, typically some confusion or distress from him or rapunzel or both, and then they reach out for each other and talk about it until they reach an understanding, which is the correct healthy way to manage this sort of conflict in a relationship. and of course through it all eugene is pretty unflagging in his absolute support of rapunzel - even if he doesn’t always *express it* in a good way, he is always very invested in rapunzel’s happiness and well-being. like even the BEA proposal, eugene’s fuck up lies in assuming that rapunzel felt the same way he did about everything and that proposing now would make her happy - there’s self-absorption there but not to the point where he isn’t concerned about her feelings, so when he upsets her he immediately realizes that he screwed up and shelves his own feelings to focus on hers, which is very Good Partner of him.

and then again on a metatextual level i do kind of hate that rapunzel’s arc is essentially, trapped in corona -> adventure! -> adventure is traumatic time to go home -> exact same circumstances she started in but she’s happy about it now. not to say i object to rapunzel embracing her role as a princess/queen per se, but in an ideal world i would like that to come from a place of rapunzel remaking her role to suit herself rather than just kind of… this ‘well got the wanderlust out of my system forever!’ vibe i get from plus est. this isn’t directly related to eugene at all but i think it does splash over onto him on account of him being so closely intertwined with her life in corona. if rapunzel were given an arc about tearing down institutions that stifled her in s1 and really rebuilding corona to be better (something that is lightly implied in canon but never quite makes its way to outright text) then of course eugene would have been her number one supporter - but she doesn’t get that arc and so eugene ends up just kind of being there while rapunzel settles into the role laid out for her. (the destiny narrative being played painfully straight in this regard doesn’t help either.)

this is all a bit of a ramble but i guess what i’m getting at is i think at the end of the day the thing that makes new dream feel a bit stale or stagnant is the series sticking to this aggressively pro-monarchy, status quo is good, mass market appeal narrative enforced by the reality of Disney Princess Show, and that’s not eugene’s fault or any character’s fault, it’s a corporate issue and writing issue.

oh and also personally i think eugene’s biggest flaw in the new dream relationship is he has a tendency to enable rapunzel’s worst impulses via unquestioning support - a little healthy skepticism can be very good for a relationship vs just being your partner’s yes man. so when i imagine a character trajectory for him post-series it involves eugene getting more comfortable pushing back when rapunzel is pursuing ideas that are bad in some way.

[bilbao-song]

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

[fallinnflower]

perfect

s.coups x reader (fluff, part of the intimacy anthology project)

a/n: this fic is technically gender neutral but ends up leaning more towards being a fem!reader, mostly because it’s based loosely on my insecurities, just so y’all know!

warning: mentions of scars, anxiety, and implied mature content

For your entire life, you'd struggled with the idea of how people saw you. 

When you were younger, people used to say you were pretty — but those same people criticized your every flaw. Once you became a teenager, especially, and acne became the new normal for your skin, even your parents didn't hesitate to point out the problems with you. It didn't take long for those problems to become all you could see, both when you looked in the mirror or just when you happened to let skin show. 

Wearing makeup became necessary. But then blemishes began appearing on your back, and arms, and legs — and when they disappeared they left scars behind which were just as embarrassing, if not more so. 

Simultaneously you were asked why you didn't think you were beautiful, and why your skin was so bad. Soon, baring your skin in even the most minimal ways felt like a struggle. 

The thing is, you'd been seeing yourself imperfectly and scarred for so long that you had no perception of what other people may have seen in you. Did they look at you and only see flaws? 

And, as most personal, introspective issues go, it affected your love life. 

Being intimate was hard when you didn't want anyone to see you. When you had scars someone might feel when their hands were on your skin. 

You'd had significant others in the past, some of which had pointed out your flaws to you, and very few of which you had managed to express your insecurities to. It always felt simultaneously too heavy and too petty to bring up to your partners, so you'd simply turn off the lights and opt to ignore your problems for as long as possible. 

But nothing could stay hidden forever. 

You'd been dating Seungcheol for well over two months when he finally expressed his desire to have you stay the night. Your journey from strangers to significant others had been something of a whirlwind, but the two of you had opted to take things slow once labels were involved. 

He was a perfect boyfriend, a wholesome mix of responsible gentleman and soft baby that fit inexplicably well into your life. Any time you have him was enough, and any hesitation you showed was a boundary he respected. 

For the past week, he'd been dropping hints that he wanted you to spend the night at his place after your typically Friday evening dates, and each time he did you found yourself freezing up. Seungcheol has never even seen you without makeup on, and while the thought of spending an evening with him was heavenly, the thought of him waking up beside an imperfect version of yourself was terrifying. 

To you, Seungcheol seemed perfect. With his pretty doe eyes and his sweet smile and plump lips, it was almost hard to believe a person like him existed in the real world. 

It made it all the more difficult for you to willingly bare yourself to him, in even the most minor ways. So for a solid week you dodged every hint he tried to drop as if they were bombs, desperate to hold onto this perfect facade for just a little bit longer, like clinging desperately to the last moments of a sweet dream in the morning light. 

But Friday dawned nonetheless, and all through work all you could think about was how Seungcheol — sweet, handsome, considerate, perfect Seungcheol — would be waiting for you when you clocked out to take you to dinner. The mix of excitement and nervousness left you feeling giddy all day long, constantly getting up for more water or just to stretch your legs, unable to focus. How could you, when you hadn't seen him for a week?

How could you, when you were constantly trying to avoid the elephant that seemed to follow you into every room you entered? 

Ten minutes before 5pm, you shed your blazer and went into the bathroom to fix your hair and makeup. You'd worn a simple black dress to work and shoved some more playful looking accessories into your bag that morning to spice up the look. Over the course of your career you'd learned how to go from corporate daytime to date night look with minimal changes quite expertly. 

As you were fixing the clasp of your necklace, your phone buzzed on the countertop. 

< waiting downstairs. no rush ☺️

You couldn't keep the smile off your face as you read Seungcheol's message. Even though he said not to rush, you still found yourself fixing the last strands of your hair that had slipped out of place and gathering your belongings from your desk at record speed. 

"Have fun!" Your desk neighbor, Wendy, called after you. You tossed her a smile over your shoulder as you stepped into the elevator. On the short ride down, you couldn't help but bounce slightly, trying to expel some more of your nervous energy so you didn't just go sprinting straight into your boyfriend's arms. 

It didn't work. The moment you caught sight of Seungcheol in the lobby, you couldn't seem to keep yourself walking at a normal pace — especially not when he caught sight of you and sent you that gummy smile of his, opening his arms in welcome. 

His embrace was warm, and he pressed a welcoming kiss to the crown of your head before nuzzling his cheek against your hair.

"Hey," he murmured, and you giggled softly as you pulled back. 

"Hey," you replied, eyes meeting his. He leaned down to press a quick, chaste kiss to your lips, but even that left you a blushing mess considering you were still in your office building. 

"Cheol," you whined, but your boyfriend only chuckled and gently took your bag and blazer from you, offering his other hand for you to hold. You took it, although you continued to pout as he lead you out the door. 

Once you'd both settled into the car, your extra things relegated to the backseat, you finally turned a curious gaze to him. 

"So, what have you got planned?" The corners of Seungcheol's mouth immediately began to curl up into a grin, but he only glanced coolly at you before pulling away from the curb. 

"It's a surprise."

"Still?" you asked, turning your body in your seat to face him. "We'll be there soon — why can't you just tell me?" 

If anyone had told you even a few months ago that you'd be acting cutesy for your boyfriend, you'd probably have punched them. You'd never been the type to do aegyo unbidden, and yet your boyfriend seemed to bring it out in you without even trying. Usually he couldn't say no to your cuteness and vice versa, but this time he merely chuckled and placed a hand on your thigh just above your knee, giving it a squeeze. 

"Patience, babe. Good things come to those who wait, you know," he teased, and you frowned. 

"But I've been waiting all week."

"And in a few more minutes all that waiting will be worth it." As he rolled to a stop at a red light, he turned his gaze on you, hand still lingering on your leg. When his dark, intense gaze met yours, your throat seemed to go dry, the places where his skin met yours suddenly feeling fiery hot. 

"You trust me, don't you?" You let out a defeated sigh and nodded. Seungcheol laughed again, eyes curving up into happy crescents as he gave your thigh another squeeze. 

"Good girl," he said, softly, and although you rolled your eyes you found yourself acutely aware of the way his fingers gently brushed against your inner thigh before he removed his hand. 

His actions quieted you down until you reached your destination. Your thoughts (and gaze) continued to drift back to him and his hands, swallowing hard. Since you and Seungcheol were taking things slow, you hadn't really been intimate — you'd had some heated make out sessions, but nothing below the belt so to speak — but that didn't mean you didn't want to be. If anything, it was actually starting to make you want it more. 

Which was probably why you were so adamantly dodging any conversations about staying the night. If Seungcheol outright asked, you knew you'd probably say yes — and you didn't feel ready for the disappointment and shame you'd feel when he saw the real you. All your flaws and ugly parts that couldn't be hidden… How could any person as beautiful as him possibly see you as anything but the complete opposite? 

Your downtrodden train of thought was interrupted by Seungcheol putting the car in park. When you looked out the window, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Recognize it?” Seungcheol asked playfully. You could tell without even looking at him that he was excited about this particular plan. And you knew why, barely able to tear your eyes away from the location long enough to thank him for holding the car door open for you.

“Of course,” you replied, taking hold of the hand he offered you. “This is where we had our first date.” You leaned into Seungcheol’s side. Your first date had consisted mostly of a long walk and dinner, which hadn’t really been planned. The two of you had simply spent so much of the day together that you found yourselves in need of a meal, and had ducked into the restaurant on a whim.

It had been nearing the end of winter then, but still cold — too cold for the outdoor seating to be open, which was unfortunate because all the online reviews you had seen raved about it. That space was at the back of the building, a rooftop terrace with a supposedly perfect view of the city. Looking at the space now, you could see the faint glow of strung-up lights down at the end of the alley between it and the neighboring building. 

“Want to guess what the surprise is?” he asked, voice low and soft, like it was a secret for your ears only. 

“Hm,” you hummed, tapping a finger against your chin, looking up at him as he grinned expectantly down at you. “We’re going to eat on the terrace?” His smile widened, his eyes nearly closing from its broadness. 

Suddenly, the door to the restaurant opened, and one of the hosts peered curiously at the two of you. His face lit up when he noticed Seungcheol, and he quickly opened the door the rest of the way, beckoning you in,

“Mr. Choi, welcome. Right this way!” The two of you followed after him, giddy with excitement. He led you both to the back of the restaurant and up a staircase, away from the noise and crowd of the main dining room.

On the table with the best view of the city there was already a bottle of the same wine the two of you had had on your first date, and Seungcheol darted past the host to pull your chair out for you — just like he had done that night. You couldn’t help but giggle as the host took a polite step back, telling you your waiter would be with you shortly before disappearing.

As you looked around the terrace, with its twinkling golden lights and stunning view, you couldn’t help but notice that it was otherwise empty despite it being prime time, with the sunset only minutes away and the weather perfectly comfortable. You kept your gaze on the city as Seungcheol took his seat.

“It’s beautiful out here,” you said. “I’m surprised it isn’t more busy.” When you looked back at your boyfriend he seemed to be blushing slightly, and he ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“About that,” he said, looking up at you through his lashes. “I managed to get the whole patio reserved, just for us.”

You felt your heart skip a beat. Seungcheol let out a sheepish chuckle, and you reached across the table to take one of his hands in your own; he met you halfway, his nervousness melting away before your eyes. 

“Do you like it?” he asked, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Like it? Cheol, I love it. It’s amazing.” All the tension left his shoulders as he sighed, smiling across the table at you in relief. His dark eyes reflected the fairy lights strung up around you, making them look like shards of the night sky as he gazed at you.

“It’s what you deserve,” he said. His tender expression warmed your heart, but before you could think of anything to say to express how you felt, the waiter suddenly appeared on the terrace with menus in hand.

“I was going to order ahead and fully recreate the first date,” Seungcheol whispered, leaning across the table as the waiter set the menus down. “But I remembered you said a lot of the things on the menu looked good, so I thought we could try something new.” You let go of his hand to take hold of your menu, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You really thought of everything, didn’t you?” 

“I definitely tried,” he chuckled. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as you looked over your options, occasionally mentioning what sounded good to you until you both finally settled on your meals. You made sure to get different things so you could each sample each other’s meal — something which had become a regular part of your relationship.

As soon as the waiter had finished taking your orders and gone back downstairs, Seungcheol propped his chin in his hands and flashed you a cheeky smile.

“So,” he said. “What do you do for a living, Y/N?” You nearly choked on your water trying not to laugh at him, which quickly caused his innocent act to crumble.

“You already knew that on our first date,” you retorted, glaring playfully at him. He let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back in his seat. You let your gaze trail down the column of his throat as he threw his head back in mock exasperation.

“I know. Do you have any idea how hard it was to think of what to say to you? I was so nervous.” 

“You? Nervous?” you teased, taking a sip of your wine. Thinking back, you couldn’t recall a single time Seungcheol seemed to be at a loss for words with you — even when he was nervous, he could think of something to say. However, now he met your playful look with a serious one, though he was still smiling.

“Well, yeah,” he said, his dark gaze seeming to pin you in place as you set your wine glass down; you couldn’t even think of looking away. “Why wouldn’t I be nervous going on a date with someone as beautiful as you?” 

You smiled, feeling genuinely touched by his words — though it didn’t take long for your anxieties to flare back up with the direction the conversation was going. Hurriedly, you took another gulp of wine, hoping he didn’t notice the sudden, slight tremor in your hands.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” you said. Then, after managing to soften your expression and calm yourself down a bit. “But good food always will.” Seungcheol laughed and lifted his glass to clink against yours. However, as he lowered his glass down to his lips, he hesitated. You raised a questioning brow, hesitating as well.

“What are we toasting to?” Seungcheol asked, wine glass still poised near his lips. 

“I don’t know,” you replied, scrunching up your nose. “To us?” 

You had half-expected Seungcheol to laugh your suggestion off, but instead his gummy smile reappeared, eyes practically glittering as they met yours across the table. He lifted the wine glass again slightly.

“To us,” he repeated, voice low and soft as velvet. You felt your cheeks warm as you both took a sip of your wine, and wondered if the alcohol was already hitting you or if Seungcheol had just managed to start affecting you that much.

Remembering what had occurred in the car, you felt your face grow hotter and took another sip of the wine, not quite ready to admit the truth of the situation even to yourself.

The rest of your dinner went off without a hitch. Seungcheol had managed to rope the waiter into taking a few photos of the two of you with the setting sun as your backdrop. Even though you had felt a bit embarrassed on the waiter’s behalf, you had to admit that the photos turned out beautifully — and it was just nice to have them. Most of your photos with Seungcheol were selfies. 

Both of you left the restaurant in high spirits, filled with wine and good food. You had loosened up considerably after your silly toasting situation, and by the time the two of you had descended the stairs to get back in the car your cheeks hurt from smiling so much; your boyfriend seemed to be in a similar predicament, reaching for your hand and kissing the back of it. The two of you stepped onto the sidewalk laughing over something that had been said over the course of the evening.

However, the moment Seungcheol sat down in the driver's seat, he seemed to become tense. And in response, you found yourself tensing up, too. He buckled himself in and placed his hands on the wheel, but didn't move to shift the car out of park, merely sitting for a moment. You watched as he lightly drummed his fingers against the top of the wheel, only pulling your eyes away when he drew his hands back. 

"Okay," he started, letting out a long breath. He unbuckled again and turned his body towards you. "I was kind of hinting at this all week and I don't know if you didn't notice, but, I really want you to spend the night. And if you don't want to, I'll drive you home right now, but— but I have an extra toothbrush because I bought a two-pack and you can borrow my clothes if you want, and my friend taught me this great pancake recipe—" Suddenly, he stopped himself short, sucking in a breath through his teeth. You felt as though the whole world outside the car had stopped, watching as your boyfriend's eyes darted down to his fidgeting hands. 

"I just think we should talk about it. And I wanted to do that in person."

Your throat went dry again, but this time it felt more like choking. Just looking at Seungcheol you could see how genuine he was; how nervous, how hopeful, how loving, and while you knew it should have eased your mind your heart squeezed at the thought that you could lose all of that. Even though deep down you knew Seungcheol wouldn't be shallow enough to break up with you because of scars, you just wanted to seem perfect to him for a little longer... there was no harm in that, right?

And yet, looking at his uncertainty, you realized your dancing around the issue had hurt him. Or, at least, made him less confident. 

You licked your lips and took a shaky breath, but you could only find the courage to start speaking when you weren't looking directly at him. 

"Seungcheol," you started, and his gaze snapped up, searching your face. "I— I want to. Trust me, I do, I just… I'm scared." When you managed to glance up at him, you noticed that he looked both crestfallen and concerned. He inched towards you, gently taking your hands in his, offering you every possible out if you wanted it. 

"What are you scared of, baby?" You realized as he said it, as you looked into his big, soulful eyes, that he thought you meant you were scared of him. Immediately you felt your stomach plummet, and you squeezed his hands in yours, swallowing hard. 

"It's just— you haven't seen me without makeup or anything yet, and my skin," you cleared your throat, trying desperately to fight the way it was wavering, but you found it cracking and shrinking nonetheless. "It's not pretty. I don’t… I don’t like how I look, I don’t feel confident. So I’m scared you won’t want me anymore once you see what I really look like, a-and—” You paused, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to make your voice stop shaking, but it proved useless once you tried to continue,

“Things have been going so well and I don’t want to ruin anything between us… because I’m really falling for you, and it’s just… it’s just hard…” 

The more you spoke, the closer you felt you were to crying, and so you closed your mouth tightly in fear of letting loose a sob instead of words. You'd had such a nice dinner, and all you could think was that you were ruining a perfectly romantic gesture with your tears. Suddenly, it felt as though your mind was running a mile a minute, straight into a scenario where Seungcheol left you and all your insecurities behind for someone with less baggage and more suited for him— 

"Hey," he said, softly, halting your inner turmoil. "I'm scared, too." At that, you couldn't help but balk. 

"What?" You blurted. Then, with more clarity, "I mean, why? You... there's no reason for you to be scared, honestly." Your thumbs ran gently along his knuckles and you followed the movement with your eyes, feeling sullen and guilty and a whole cocktail of emotions you desperately wished to expel. You let out a watery, humorless laugh, 

"All my life," he started, voice soft. "I've compared myself to other people. I've always been, I don't know, soft-looking?” His lips pressed into a thin smile, but the corners of his mouth seemed unable to stay up for long. He cleared his throat, and you wondered if he was feeling as choked up as you were, voicing his insecurities,

“I tried so many diets and workout routines, and for a long time I was really pushing myself too hard. I'm still not always happy with how I look, but I'm healthy and I know that's what matters most." 

Seungcheol gently squeezed your hands, and so you looked up at him, surprised to find his eyes shiny with unshed tears. 

"I'm not the most fit person. I'm worried you won't like what you see, that you'll want someone more manly, but—" One of the tears finally fell, and you found yourself removing your hands from his grasp to take his face in them instead, gently wiping under his eyes. He closed them, letting out a shaky breath. 

"I want you to know all of me. I want you to have all of me."

"Cheol." His name left you practically on a whimper, and suddenly you realized you were crying again. You leaned in and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, which he quickly reciprocated. Before you could get distracted you pulled back, resting your forehead against his,

"Abs or no abs — nothing's going to change how I feel about you." 

"That's how I feel about you," he replied, hands coming to rest on your waist. You found yourself letting out a watery chuckle, and Seungcheol was quick to respond. 

"What?"

"We're silly, aren't we?" Seungcheol hummed at your statement, leaning in to press another quick kiss to your lips. 

"No," he said. "Your feelings, whatever they are, are important. Let's just be honest with each other from now on, even if we think it's silly." You nodded.

“And,” he continued. “Let’s try harder to see ourselves the way we see each other, okay?” He reached up for a moment, smoothing some of your hair behind your ear. His smile was so fond, his eyes so tender, and you found yourself practically melting into the leather seat.

“Deal,” you said, and Cheol grinned with his now-sparkling eyes.

“Good. Because I think you’re perfect.” You felt yourself blushing as he leaned in to kiss you, but with renewed confidence you chased after his lips as he pulled away, successfully stealing another. And another as you let your hands move behind his neck, threading your fingers through the hair at his nape. Seungcheol grippes at your hips more tightly, sighing into your mouth. You whined slightly as he pulled back, but Seungcheol was quick to distract you. 

"So," he said, a smirk playing at his lips. "Now what do you think of spending a night with me?" A giggle escaped your lips. 

"I'd love to," you said. However, as he leaned in for another kiss, you playfully pushed him away. "But only if you promise to make those pancakes in the morning." Seungcheol rolled his eyes but couldn't keep himself from grinning as he drew his hands away from you to buckle himself back in,

"Your wish is my command."

With that, you sat back in your seat, buckling yourself in and grinning across the console at him.

Seungcheol kept his hand on your knee the whole drive home, only removing it to make the necessary turns to get to his place. You had a feeling he knew what he was doing, and by the time he pulled into the parking lot of his complex your nervousness had been replaced with a desire to be near him. You laced your fingers through his as you followed him up the flight of stairs to his floor, both of you grinning and giggling like teenagers. 

By the time you made it up to his apartment you could barely keep your hands off each other long enough for Seungcheol to put your blazer and purse down. You looped your arms around his neck and brought his face down to yours, kissing him hotly, wanting to know that he desired you just as much as you did him. 

And if you had any doubts about it then, they were dispelled by the following morning when you found yourself in his kitchen, his hoodie barely managing to hide the marks along your collarbone. You could smell the pancakes even from back in his bedroom, but now your senses were overloaded with their sweetness combined with Seungcheol’s familiar musky scent.

“Morning,” you greeted, shuffling into the kitchen. He cast a glance at you from his place before the stove, smiling immediately at the sight of you.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” You let out an amused snort, though you were glad he couldn’t see your blush as you admired him from across the kitchen. Seungcheol might not have been confident with his body all the time, but obviously your admiration of his physique the night before hadn’t gone unnoticed as he stood shirtless making breakfast. A part of you worried for a moment about him being so near a stove without anything to cover his chest, but you assuaged those fears by looping your arms around his waist, providing the cover yourself.

“How are you feeling?” Cheol asked, using his free hand to lift one of yours to his lips. He pressed kisses to each of your knuckles, and you giggled as you softly pressed one of your own to his shoulder before nuzzling your cheek between his shoulder blades. You could feel the gentle laughter rumble through his chest, his skin soft against your own. As he let go of your hand you tightened your hold around him slightly, sighing contentedly as you replied,

“Perfect.”

[lilallama]

(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;

[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]

Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.

He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.

All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.

Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)

He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.

So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.

Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.

We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).

I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.

Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).

As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).

Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.

Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.

His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).

Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.

If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.

I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.

Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.

Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.

He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.

I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.

If you enjoyed reading my work, please consider reblogging it. Thank you for reading

[i-need-entertainment]

Not Scary To me

Character: Washio x single mom reader

*Timeskip spoilers*

Pt.2

TW- mentions of insecurity, Washio has past ~trauma~, mentions of divorce and toxic relationships.

If you asked anyone who knew Washio Tatsuki if he was a scary, mean and dangerous man, they would probably laugh in your face. Since he was a teenager Washio was no stranger to being judged by his appearance. He was always taller than the other kids, much more muscular and his general demeanor screamed ‘intimidating’. Which was why people were typically scared of him and unwilling to get to know him. So when he entered his first year in Fukurodani, it was no surprise to him when no one wanted to be his seat mate. That is, until you appeared. 

“Is this seat taken?” He looked up, and he felt his heart stop. In front of him was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She had warm and kind features, and the most welcoming smile he’d ever received from a girl. Well, a girl who wasn’t his mom or his older sister anyway. He quietly told the girl ‘no’ and nodded when she asked if she could sit there. Over the course of just a few months the two had become fast friends. They always ate lunch together, studied together, hung out after school and she always made sure to be in the front row when she watched his games. 

For the next three years, the two became best friends. They were there for each other through all of their highs, their lows, their problems in their love lives. Er- Y/n’s problems in her love life. Throughout high school she dated this guy, Ken Hashimoto. He was your typical high school heart throb. He was charming, popular and very attractive the whole school saw them as the ‘it’ couple. But to Washio, they were anything but. 

Putting aside his bias, he never really like Ken. To him Ken was sleazy, dishonest, and cunning. Washio lost count of how many times you had called him during terrible hours of the night crying over something the jerk had done. Or worse, when the two of you had fought and it was up to Washio to console you. But no matter how many times he picked you up from rock bottom, he’d always be there to pick you up again when that jerk pushed you down. Why? The reason was simple. 

Washio Tatsuki was in love with you. And he had learned to accept a long time ago that you would never love him the same way. 

Throughout the next three years you and Ken were off and on. He was a jerk, yes. He was selfish and dishonest. And…he hurt you. A lot. But for whatever reason you…couldn’t leave him. You had experienced too much with him, felt too much with him. He had too much to guilt you into staying for longer than you should have. You and Washio were very good friends, but for some reason after high school, your friendship didn’t last. You both tried to stay in contact, see each other every now and then. But with him going pro and you pursuing your interests, you both agreed it was okay you couldn’t see each other as much. 

For you that was the case. But for him, it was simply because it was too painful to constantly be reminded of what he didn’t have every time he caught sight of the engagement ring sitting on your left ring finger. Not long after he left for Hiroshima (It doesn’t say where the EJP Raijin are located, but they’re based off of the JT Thunders which are in Hiroshima Japan) to play as a middle blocker for the EJP Raijin (Eastern Japan Paper Mills Raijin). 

It’s been about five years since the two of you have seen each other. When you and Washio had graduated, you had started drifting apart. During that time you and Ken had actually been doing okay. He was treating you much better (well, by the standards of you guys’ relationship anyway) and it seemed like it was going places. So when he proposed, you didn’t think twice. Especially since the only man you think you’ve truly loved was soon leaving for Hiroshima. 

That’s right, you, Y/n L/n were in love with Washio Tatsuki. Before you rage quit reading this, bear with me! Yes! You loved him so, so much. But you couldn’t leave Ken. You knew he wasn’t a great guy, you had experienced it first hand! But no matter how much you wanted to you just couldn’t go, plus…you couldn’t go to Washio, he didn’t deserve that. 

So you kept quiet, married a man you tried to love and forget the man you always did. Here we are five years after the two of you graduated. Washio was still playing for EJP, and you were living in Osaka with your three year old little girl, Emiko. Currently you were working as a sports manager for the MSBY Black Jackals. Well that was the job they paid you for, but on most days, you felt like the MSBY Black Jackals baby sitter instead. 

“What? No- Bokuto you cannot go sky diving before next weeks game- I don’t know! No, don’t ask Akaashi, you know he’ll side with me. Atsumu don’t encourage him!! Bo, if you ask him, I promise you he’s going to tell you the same thing I did. *sigh* just- get here on time. We have a practice match today.” Bidding your goodbyes and letting out one more painful sigh you put down your phone and rubbed your temples. 

Don’t get me wrong, you loved the MSBY four, but man did they give you some big time stress. “Mommy?” All your worries faded away as you looked to the doorway, your little girl Emiko standing there with her favorite stuffed bunny in hand. “Hey there baby, ready to go?” Emiko excitedly nodded her head and walked towards you, lifting her hands above her head for you to carry her (she is only 3 after all). After getting the necessary items and a bag for Emiko the two of you left the house and headed to the MSBY Black Jackals stadium. 

The Black Jackals had a daycare center in the stadium, so working parents could leave their kids there while they did their jobs. It was nice having it in the building, especially since Emiko was a painfully shy kid. She was very quiet and usually didn’t talk to strangers, or people she knew for that matter. It was unusual for her to utter more than ‘hi’ and someone’s name (other than to you or your parents of course, or people she felt comfortable around). As soon as the two of you arrived you said your greetings to your co-workers and made your way to the daycare center. 

Until “Bunny!” this particular part of the building was always crowded, and you daughter just realized that between here and the front door she had lost her stuffed animal. Before you could re-grab her hand, she was gone and a sickening amount of panic settled in your stomach, you of course immediately ran to go get her.

 At the same time, Washio and the rest of EJP Raijin had just entered the MSBY stadium for the practice match they’d be having. When they got settled, the coach told them they had about 2 hours before the match started, giving them about 1 ½ hours to kill. Komori and Suna went off to antagonize Sakusa and Atsumu while Washio explored the stadium. (Bokuto and Hinata were not there yet for reasons better left unknown.) 

Before Washio could get very far he saw something on the floor. ‘Is that a…bunny?’ squatting down he picked up the toy to notice it was indeed a stuffed bunny that he guessed belonged to a child. He picked it up and made his way back to the entrance, figuring he’d leave it at the office for someone to find. But before he could get there, he heard a small “Mister…?” He looked down to see the cutest little girl he’d ever seen tugging at his pants, with tears in her beautiful e/c eyes. 

For a moment he stilled. He didn’t dislike kids, quite the opposite actually! It’s just…kids didn’t usually perceive him very well, usually they were afraid of him. Trying to make himself as approachable as he could he put on a gentle smile and knelt down before the girl. Sure he was still much bigger, but he was less intimidating. “Are you okay?” The little girl shyly looked at him before she shook her head ‘no’, and after some inner contemplation said “Bunny” Washio then gently smiled and showed her the bunny he had in his hand, noting the way her familiar e/c eyes lit up as she excitedly reached for the stuffy. 

She happily squealed as she hugged the toy. Right around that time you, who was running adrenaline and two cups of coffee, also a huffing and puffing mess had desperately turned the corner. “EMIKO!” The little girl turned around and smiled, triumphantly holding up the bunny. “Mommy! This nice man found bunny!” Looking past her you finally realized the man who had been kneeling (but is now standing) in front of your daughter. Both of your eyes blown wide as you both looked at each other. 

”…Tatsuki?” Washio nodded as a familiar but buried feeling fluttered in his chest as he choked out a ‘Y/n?’. You quickly ran up to him and gave him a hug, one he gladly returned. Your daughter looked at the two of you confused before acting like the two of you didn’t exist, she had some business with her precious bunny she had to take care of! “But- Wha- how? What are you doing here?!” You asked him as you pulled away from the hug. His hands went into his pockets, a nervous habit you vividly remember him having, as a smile overtook his features. 

“I’m on EJP Raijin, we’re here for a practice match. What about you? I thought you were still in Tokyo with…him.” Y/n’s expression faltered at the mention of her ex-husband. “I’m the sports manager for the Jackals, have been for about a year now. And, uh, he’s not in the picture, he left last year.” Y/n maintained the small awkward smile on her face as Washio nodded. Washio’s eyes slightly widened, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You waved him off as you picked up your little girl. “Don’t be, I kind of figured we’d never last long anyways…” Washio just nodded. 

“But! It’s not all bad, I got through school during all…that, got my degree and when we were getting divorced, I found this job. So, when it was done, we packed up and moved here and got started on our life together.” You continued to smile fondly at your little girl, she laid her head on your shoulder and looked at Washio with an unreadable expression. “Enough about me! How have you been? Anyone special?” 

You asked him, you wanted to know he was doing well, that he was happy. But there was also that little part of you that wanted to know if he was single. He let out a small chuckle, the sound taking you back to high school. “I’ve been alright. Not long after we graduated, I moved down to Hiroshima to play for EJP, threw myself into my career and here we are But, uh no. No one special.” You two were smiling at each other when Emiko tapped your shoulder. She leaned close to your ear and cupped her small hand around your ear. 

“Mommy?” You were holding back a giggle at her cute action. “Yes, baby?” Emiko nervously looked at Washio, and he felt a sort of dread come over him. ‘here we go again’ he thinks as he waits for the tears to start… ”What’s his name? I like him.” As if it was even possible your smile got even wider. “Well, why don’t you ask him?” The little girl looked at you before looking at him, you gently placed her on the ground and encouraged her. “Uhm….mm..” She looked nervously to the floor as she tightly clutched her bunny, making some noises of discomfort. 

She then looked up to him. “What’s your name…?” She asked in a small voice. He smiled and knelt down, holding out his hand to her much smaller one. “Washio Tatsuki. What’s your name?” She smiled and she took her hand and lightly shook his. “Emiko…Emiko L/n” she then released his hand and presented her bunny’s hand instead, wanting him to shake it (which he did). “This is bunny.” The little girl continued to smile, happy that this nice man was not only nice to her and her mommy, but also bunny. That scored a lot of points with her. 

The little girl turned around and looked at her mom. “Mommy?” You looked down to her as you started to stroke her long brown hair, which was seemingly the only trait she received from her father. ”Can we see Washio again? I want him to be my friend…” You couldn’t tell if the swelling feeling in your chest was from your daughter wanting to be someone’s friend, or the prospect of seeing Washio again, but after five years of loneliness, it was a welcomed feeling nonetheless. 

You looked up to meet his equally surprised but happy eyes. “Well? What do you say…”? He smiled down at the young girl before nodding his head, the little girl happily giggling and clutching his leg in a sort of hug before quickly returning to your side. “Oh! I need to get this little one to daycare, and I need to get to work! Uhm, why don’t we exchange numbers and we can get dinner or something, the three of us?” Emiko just nodded, even if she wasn’t really listening, while you and Washio exchanged information and said your goodbyes. You dropped Emiko off and made your way to the gym, since the practice match would begin in just under an hour.

*I have split this into parts bEcaUse it ended up reaaall long :) The next parts should be out soon*

[they-call-me-megs]

Let It Be Me - MLQC - Gavin x MC

Well....hello there.  I’m new to Tumblr (or, new to being back--I was here for a while but fairly quite and then left for a bit, only to return once I realized I still was regularly checking some of my favorite pages/writers!).  I’ve been reading fan fiction for a looonnnggggg time, but have only ever been and enjoyer and not a contributor.  I don’t know if I will ever be a regular writer, but decided to give it a shot.  I saw some writing prompts posted by a writer I really enjoy, and as I was thinking through a request I would like to make and stories I would like to see, I got the bug to just give one a try myself!  So here we are.  I’d like to shout out @hifftn​ for taking the time to read my rough draft and give me some suggestions--this was my first time reaching out to her and she was so kind and amazing and I have been following her page for a good while now, so thank you! I love the MLQC and Voltage fandoms and I’m excited to actually be active now and to give kudos to some of my favorites writers where they are due (because I am convinced that some of the best writers out there are housed here!). 

So here’s my very first stab at writing.  I don’t expect it to be read by many (or maybe any) but I think it’s good for me to try new things every once in a while.  If you do happen to read it and want to give some tips/suggestions/encouragement/anything I’d love to have it!  Here’s hoping the format isn’t crazy--thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Warnings: some language. No smut...yet ;) 

_______________ 

Gavin.

The boy who everyone seemed to fear when you were growing up—including you. 

Gavin.

The now man who took his job seriously to protect those around him…and as he regularly stated--to protect you.

Gavin.

The one who, after time, had been such a confidant and the one you could always rely on. Through job stresses, and heartbreak and messy break ups and all the ups and downs of life. A firm and steady rock when you felt like the waves—constantly raging. Constantly changing.

Gavin.

The one who you viewed as just a friend until more time went on. And the more you got to see who he truly is—the Gavin that only you seemed to get to see, the more you wondered “what if”.

But you.

You were too afraid of losing the person that meant the most to you, afraid he may not see you that way.  So you decided to keep those “what ifs” at bay and push them out of sight and out of mind, satisfied knowing that he really did mean it, that he would protect you and be there for you forever. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that his words were true. And you were stuck chasing the wrong person and after the wrong person hoping maybe someday someone squash the “what ifs” away.

_______________ 

After a great finish on your latest project, Willow, Kiki, and Anna insisted on a night of drinks and dancing. You weren’t one to typically go for that, but you’d been working so hard and sometimes it really was nice to let loose with your friends. You agreed to at least one stop and you’d take it from there.  The four of you walked into a crowded bar with live music and found a small table towards the back as your home base for the evening. A couple of rounds in, you could feel yourself loosen up and were ready to see where the night would take you. 

“Next round is on me! I’m getting us shots!” you told the girls as you headed to the bar. 

You had been waiting at the bar for a couple of minutes when you “ahem” and a deep voice that exuded confidence. 

“My, my. I don’t think I’ve seen you around before and I know that I’d remember your face if I’d ever seen it. I’m Michael—and you would be?” 

You rolled your eyes as you turned his way, only to be pleasantly surprised.  The man talking to you had reason to have confidence in his voice.  He had dark hair that was just long enough to slick back with a small piece that hung just above his eye.  He was well-dressed--maroon slacks and a button-up shirt that had obviously been tailor to perfectly show that he was fit underneath it all. 

“MC”, you tried shouting back over the music and the crowd noise.

He slid right next to you and leaned in closer to your ear—a bit closer than you expected from a stranger you had never met, but you didn’t immediately blow him off. 

“I didn’t quite hear you, and I want to make sure I don’t miss the name of the most beautiful girl in the room”.

“I said my name is MC, and while I appreciate the compliment and you’re not too bad on the eyes yourself, I’ve really got to get going. I’m here with my friends—have a nice night”.

You gave him a wink and turned to walk away, but he grabbed your hand right before you were out of reach.

“At least consider saving a dance for me before the night is over. I’ll make it worth your time,” he said winking right back at you after pulling you closer.  

You couldn’t help but smirk—there was no lying to yourself. He was an extremely attractive guy with a smile that was dripping with charm. Not wanting to commit to anything while fully knowing you’d end up dancing, you left him with a flirty: “Maybe, if you’re lucky,” and turned to go back to your table.

“Who was that? He was cute.” Kiki couldn’t help herself--she had a radar for attractive men and she was always in favor when you considered chatting one up.

“His name was Michael—he very much so wants to dance with me tonight—I don’t know. He’s cute, I guess. I think he thinks he’s a real smooth talker…maybe a bit pushy, though.”

“Maybe pushy could be a good thing! You’ll get to find out if you actually go dance with him, if you know what I mean. He’s still got his eye on you”, Kiki said smiling at you and nudging your side with her elbow. 

She wasn’t wrong. He was looking your way. And his look seemed to follow your every move.

“He seems a little creepy to me,'' Anna said. “I’d steer clear”. It was from her expression that she was not Team New Guy.

“I’m with Anna,” Willow said. “Besides, I still don’t understand why you even give some of these guys you talk to the time of day when you have the perfect person for you right under your nose”.

They all saw the way you were around Gavin. You tried to play cool but every once in a while, there was a crack in your façade and your friends could recognize the change in your eyes and the way your shoulders seemed to relax in a way they normally didn’t when he was around.  You always got flustered when they brought Gavin in any way that involved you being more than friends--it was easy to push down any budding feelings when it wasn’t brought to your attention. 

“You guys need to give it up. I care about my friendship with Gavin way too much to risk it. And besides—if he was interested in being more than friends with me, he’s had a lot of opportunities to take a shot. He hasn’t, and that’s okay. I’ve come to terms with it. And I’ve also come to terms with the fact that one dance with Mister Following Eyes won’t hurt anyone”. You downed another shot and marched back to the bar to find Michael, confidence coming from you to rival the confidence he had earlier.  You insisted he’d buy you a drink before taking his hand, leading him to the dance floor.

And you danced. You closed your eyes and let his hands wander on your hips and you let your imagination wander into the idea that it was actually Gavin dancing with you, because no matter how many times you said you had come to terms with it, you really hadn’t and you wanted nothing more than for him to be the one touching you. 

 What you didn’t know was that Willow had called Gavin to come out and celebrate your success with you all. And that while you were grinding up on Mr. Smooth Talker, Gavin was walking in the door.

After losing yourself in the music and dancing, you finally “came to” when the house band took a break and lighter music began to play over the speaker. You started to turn back around towards Michael when you caught a sight of Gavin out of the corner of your eye. You didn’t know he was going to be here and you didn’t know how long he’d been there—or what he had seen. Gavin was always the one to let you cry on his shoulder when you’d go out with some guy you met at a bar or on Tinder after he’d stand you up or finally show you his true ugly and awful colors. And he was never critical. And he was always gentle. But that didn’t mean that you wanted him to see you dancing with someone else when you just wanted it to be him.

Michael pulled you out of your head when he grabbed your hand and pulled you back closer to him, this time face to face, moving in closer to whisper.  You could feel his breath on your ear.

“If you move like that with your clothes on, I can’t wait to see how good it is once they’re gone.”

That’s when you knew your time with this guy was over.  You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Why must men always do this? You knew why—because an MC a few more drinks in would entertain the thought of it and might just go home with him. But you were a few shots short and had one set too many eyes on you to agree.  The freedom and fun you were feeling was put back in it’s box to make sure this guy knew you were serious.

“I think you might be moving a bit too fast pal. Thanks for the dance, but I think I’m going to go back to my friends now.”

You tried to push him away so you could leave when he decided to double down and grab your hips a bit tighter, this time in a way that caused the exact opposite of pleasure.

“Come on, MC. We’re just getting to know each other, and I’m not ready for the fun to be over” he said.  He tried nipping at your ear and you felt sick to your stomach.  You just wanted to get away from him.

“Stop it, Michael. You’re hurting me. I don’t know you and you obviously don’t know me if you think aggression is the way into my pants. So if you could kindly back the fuck up, I’d appreciate it,” you said, pushing him harder to get him off of you.  You were all for having a good time and had had your fair share of one night stands--but they were on your own terms and they didn’t start with a guy trying to suffocate you with a handful of red flags to get you to cave.

“Stop being such a bitch—I buy you a drink and show you a good time and this is how you repay me?”

A clearing of a throat came from behind you and you saw Michael’s face change as you felt a familiar hand on your shoulder.

“MC—is this guy bothering you?”

The sound of Gavin’s voice and the anger in his eyes was the encouragement Michael needed to finally ease us his grip on you.  Thank God he was stepping in to help you. But also, oh shit—because Gavin did not act kindly to asshole dudes who wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Hey buddy—why don’t fuck right off and mind your own damn business?” Michael said, annoyance clear in his voice and on his face.  He had no idea who he was talking to.

And then came the crack. And a howl. And an asshole falling to the ground after Gavin decked him for not giving up when you asked him to. Gavin grabbed your hand and started walking towards the door. Anna, Willow, and Kiki met you there.

“MC, are you okay?” Kiki asked.  She was worried about you, and you could tell she felt bad about encouraging you to talk to Michael after the initial introduction.

“I knew that guy was a creep,” Anna said with crossed arms. She always seemed to be right about these things.

“How about we all go outside and I’ll call us an Uber,” Willow said, pulling out her phone.

“You guys take care of getting yourselves home,” Gavin said, handing them some cash. “I’ll take care of her—my apartment isn’t far from here”.

You felt awful--what was supposed to be a night of fun had turned into a nightmare. “Sorry for ruining the night guys. Maybe next time I’ll learn to just dance with you guys,” you said with your head downcast, taking the helmet Gavin handed you before patting the back seat of Sparky. You knew the drill. You hopped on and wrapped your arms around Gavin’s waist as he told you to hold on tight.

_______________ 

“You’re soaked,” Gavin said. “Go hop in the shower before you catch a cold. I’ll never forgive myself if you get sick because I chose to drive Sparky instead of my car. I really didn’t know it would start raining. I’m sorry MC.”

“Why are you sorry?! You saved my ass back there when that guy wouldn’t leave me alone. You’re always saving my ass. I don’t mind waiting—you can go first.” 

“No—I insist. I’ll be fine. My hair will dry fast anyway. You can use the bathroom in my room. Feel free to use anything that you need. Once you’re in the bathroom I’ll just come in to grab something from my drawers and I’ll be out so you can have some space.” He spoke to you with gentleness and care in his voice. You could see from his face how concerned he was for you, even though he was the one that just punched a guy.  That was so typical Gavin. Always putting himself last. Always taking care of you first. Never showing any sign of frustration or anger at you.

A quick 5-minute shower to clear your head of the evening’s events and you were done.

“Shit—I thought I had some clothes in here.”

This wasn’t your first time at Gavin’s place—you had become a regular here for movie nights and after it led to you falling asleep on the couch a few times, Gavin suggested you just leave a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt at his house so you could always feel comfortable there. Apparently, you forgot to change out of them the last time and brought them home with you, leaving you scrambling for something to wear. You panicked for a moment before looking through his closet and found the biggest t-shirt you could find and threw it on before heading back into the living room.

Gavin was in the kitchen making you a hot tea (your favorite) when he heard you come out of his room.

“Listen, MC. I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m trying to tell you what to do or how to live your life…I’m just trying to understand what it is about some of these guys that you find…”

It was at that moment that he walked out of the kitchen and saw you standing there looking through his movie collection, reaching to grab a DVD from the top shelf, causing the shirt to ride high enough to hit just shy of your ass. His shirt practically cradling your ass.

“Ah...are you wearing my shirt?” There was a bit of hesitation in his question that made you give him a soft laugh. 

“Ha...yeah—I’m sorry. I thought I still had clothes here, but I guess I brought them home, so I had to borrow some of yours again. Just another thing you’re having to do for me. Clothe me. Pick me up at any hour of the day when I need it. Scare off the sleazy guys I always end up getting mixed up with. You’re the one thing I can always count on to be the same for me.”

“But what if I don’t want to stay the same?”

The hesitation he just had disappeared and he looked at you with a resolve in his eyes that he’s never seen before and you thought you saw his eyes go black for a moment. You wanted to think maybe he was messing with you, but Gavin wasn’t much of a joker and there was only seriousness in the way he was keeping eye contact with you.

“What?” You felt your breath catch in your throat. What was he trying to say? Was this moment where he had really had enough and didn’t want to deal with you anymore? You stood frozen and just looked at him as he slowly walked up to you…not quite touching but closer than he normally got outside of your rides on Sparky together. He reached out and lightly ran his thumb and his index finger across the hem of his shirt—the one you were wearing.

He kept his eyes down, watching his fingers on the shirt and you felt his grip on it tighten, pulling the shirt flush to your chest. 

“What if I don’t want to stay the same with you? What if I don’t want to be the guy that scares off the sleazy guys you dance with? What if I want to be the one dancing on you. The one touching you.  What if I don’t want to be the guy that just loans you clothes anymore when you come over? What if I want to be the one that takes them off of you?”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you. The only thing that could be heard was the rain falling on the window and low music playing from Gavin’s record player he must have turned on while you were in the shower. You saw his Adam’s apple move as he silently gulped, still too nervous to look up, continuously moving the hem of the shirt between his index finger and his thumb.  You couldn’t believe what you were hearing--you wished that you could stop time to give you a moment to process what was happening.  This was what you had wanted to happen for so long, resigning yourself to your wants believing it would never happen.  But it was. And it felt real. And you made the decision to not hesitate or ask questions or wonder what might happen next because you would be damned to do anything that might make him change his mind.

“Then do it.”

He finally looked up at you with his beautiful amber eyes that were full of wonder and surprise and a fiery lust that was thirsty to get out when you broke the silence. His gaze refused to leave yours when he opened his mouth to speak again.

“What did you say?”

You grabbed his free hand and guided it to the bottom of your shirt to join his other. Locking eyes with him and bringing your face as close as you could without touching, you slowly lifted your arms above your head.

“I said, if you want to be the one that takes my clothes off, then do it.”

[miyomiikonran]

Burn the Witch Personal Review

I know how this sounds, especially I never did smth like that, so just pls treat it more like bunch of thoughts and opinions on this new title from long-term fan of Bleach rather than some professionally done review. I watched all three episodes and for now I didn't have much time to read the manga (I have a lot of stuff to read for my studies so ;;") so I just went through stuff written on fan wiki. So beware! Spoilers ahead!

So anyway, new title from Tite Kubo. I could not know who's the author and I still would've guessed who it is. It has such a familiar vibe for me, it's a lot like Bleach for me in terms of humor, dialogues, character interactions and so on. Backgrounds also have this kind of similar vibe but I can't tell what's exactly causing it cus I'm no artist. Kubo in his glory days always had great backgrounds so that's all I'm able to say. I think he catched some breath after Bleach's ending and came back with new energy, so his skills are back too.

About characters. I'm glad he did two main female characters this time, even though both Noel and Ninny annoyed me through most of these ~60 minutes. I'm gonna say that's how it usually is before you get to know these characters better. Balgo annoyed me the most because he's typical perverted guy (which I'm really tired of) but with sweet dumny appearance (I'm here for it) so we'll see where will this character go further. Ninny's idol type, so I wasn't really excited at first, but I really liked her interactions with Macy, so I see chances for future development. Kinda the same with Noel and Balgo, they have some chances to get better through their influence on each other. Noel is kinda boring on her own most of the time, but her drive for money is sooo relatable for me right now.

My absolute favourite for now is Osushi, which kinda amused me, cus it's complete opposite compared with how I reacted to Kon at first, who also was sort of mascot in Bleach. I think Kubo has a thing for "seems cute but can kill you" type of mascot...

Let's adress the elefant in the room now. It's the same damn universe as Bleach. It blew my mind completely since I read about this series. It's the same universe (12 years after the war) and it has witches and dragons! Don't get me wrong, tbh I think it could work, it makes sense in it's own twisted kind of way. I just wish we were given any clues about existence of other "reverse worlds"/Soul Societies before this title came out. Cus it makes sense when you think about it. For me it looks like each country/culture (cus idk if each country wouldn't be too much) could have it's own kind of reverse world coexisting with human world, with it's magic, creatures and rules rooted in it's history, culture and beliefs. That's why suddenly we have these european-looking dragons and completely different approach to them- rather than kill them, humans are using them for their own gain, which for me makes sense for country that started industrial age and was first capitalistic-kind of system in the world. Obviously they would be like "ey, it's kinda a waste to kill them, maybe we could use them to make our life easier?". In Bleach it was all more about restoring and keeping balance between worlds, moral duty, honor and strict rules which makes sense (at least for me) in japanese society. Same with Shinigami and their powers. Other stuff like Quincy and Arrancars kinda throw off this kind of logic but well, I'm just trying to find some sense in this madness.

How's the plot then going, in such weird curricumstances? For me it could easily defend itself as independent idea and separate universe. If someone didn't knew Bleach and watched this I'm pretty sure it would be viewed almost the same for now. Will it have more connections to stuff we know from Bleach? Idk, I hope so, cus if not then it's just kinda using the nostalgia left by previous series. This world is surely builded the same, we have two coexisting worlds, one with common humans and the other with people being able to see and fight supernatural beings that endanger both of these worlds. We have the same kind of structure of power as well, at least for me. Wind Bind is new Gotei 13, this time with symbolism based on zodiak signs. Cool, it would probably suggest 12 divisions, but for now we know about only 8 but once again, we'll see.

Each division has it's own field of work, responsibilities and leader. They all look just as weird and eccentric as Gotei 13 when we first met them, so hello darkness my old friend, especially one lady looks like nazi-wannabe again (Quincy I'm looking at you!). For now we only saw Bruno in action who's division is a fighting type, tasked with extermination of dangerous dragons. He's got very cool design and I adore style of magic he uses because I never saw anyone use spray paint for drawing magical symbols before. Very modern-looking guy and I'm here for it, especially he looks like Grimmjow's younger bro. In general this universe is on our typical technology level with smartphones and stuff everywhere, which is suprising to see having in mind whole traditionally japanese looking enviroment from original Soul Society. About the rest we barely know anything so well. We'll see, once again.

Do I see any clear villain in sight? Nah, not for now. For now we only know about 8 dangerous legendary dragons based on common fairy tales. Interesting concept, but I would like to see some classic villian too. However, we already got the same kind of lesson that Bleach served us- authorities cannot be easily trusted either, as their judgement also can be too strict, cruel and subcjetive without many possibilities to oppose them by avarage person. I smell more future drama in this topic. Especially we once again got elderly boss who looks similar to Yamamoto from Bleach.

One thing that kinda dissapointed me was music. Bleach made me used to very climatic, often dramatic soundtracks, kinda dark-sounding most of the time. Openings were mostly very good too, while here I barely noticed any music at all. Animation didn't really leave me in awe either, only fights seemed interesting and magic was nicely animated. But it's kinda boring compared to very dynamic animation in Bleach. First two episodes made me think of first two arcs of Bleach but it's been over 15 years! ;-;"

In the end, will I watch more? Yeah, for sure. I got very excited to see something new from Kubo, I'm rooting for him and his new series to be less damaging for his health and mental state so this time he'll have means to develop and finish it properly, ideally without more conflicts with Shounen Jump. If he'll play it right with connections to Bleach it might get every good and bring back old fanbase, maybe even make people forgive him completely for Bleach's rushed ending. I see he already got some lessons from that experience, as now he decided to publish chapters in small batches rather than weekly. For me it's good solution that may help him keep his sanity intact. I'm willing to wait if it means he'll get back to his fomer skills and glory because I loved Bleach with my whole heart. If only anime production will be okay with such work dynamic then sure, great. I hope music and animation will get better overtime, maybe with more people getting interested they'll be able to spend more time and effort on it. I'm waiting for more characters to appear for more screentime as well, despite what I said about weird looking leaders of Wind Bind. Kubo proved he can make interesting and unique looking characters before, as well as create engaging villians and fights that fans are waiting for for months or years even. Maybe he even learnt a thing or two from plot holes that happend before. We'll see, I'm hopefull and willing to see where this series will be going c: