#it's the first piece of writing that I've ever completed and while it obviously has its flaws i'm very fond and proud of it

[troubadour-malin]

vent in the tags!

[scintie]

a spark of black

Pairing: Gambit/Remy LeBeau x female reader. Summary: Ever since you appeared at the resistance hideout along with Wade and Logan, tension between you and a certain Cajun card slinger has been steadily growing. One fateful night you finally get the chance to relieve some of it. Tags: smut (male receiving), blowjob, mild dominant undertones. Notes: be gentle, this is the first piece of writing that I've uploaded in yeeeeears. :')

You watched Remy’s mouth move, his lips forming words that you just couldn’t decipher. He was obviously speaking to you, it was just the two of you sat in the main room of the hideout.

Earlier in the evening everyone had been gathered, sharing stories and drinks. The others had all turned in for the night an hour or so ago, leaving you and the Cajun to continue on without them. Wade had made his exit by saying something predictably crude about not being too loud while fucking each others brains out. Remy had waved him off while you did nothing but blush.

The past hour had been torture. Listening to Remy's smooth, deep voice talk about their recent escapades in the Void had driven you crazy with desire. You'd developed a stupid crush on him as soon as you'd arrived. Who wouldn't though right? With his tall, broad stature and handsome face, he'd be hard for anyone to resist. But as the days had passed things went from bad to worse and your stupid crush deepened into a genuine desire.

That's why the blood was thumping so loud in your ears that you couldn’t understand him.

“Wh-what? Sorry, I er, I didn’t quite catch that.” You stammered, feeling your cheeks grow hotter by the second. You dreaded to think how flustered you looked to him right now. Like a deer in the headlights of a truck. A big, sexy truck wearing a brown leather coat.

“Oh, tu es mignon,” Remy chuckled under his breath. He rose from his chair and stepped a little closer, as if the distance between the two of you was the issue. “Remy see da way you been lookin’ at him cher, when ya' think he no be noticin’, ah?”

You were speechless. You didn't know how to react to his bluntness. How were you supposed to react to that?

Remy smirked and closed the gap between you completely and leaned over you, placing his hands on the back of your chair, one either side of your head. He was so close, you could barely breathe.

"You wan' me? All a pretty lil' thing like you would hav' to do is ask, ma douce." He kept his voice low, not wanting to alert the others.

Your mind raced, thoughts bouncing around for what felt like an eternity before at last, you nodded your head. You didn't even realise you were doing it but you weren't about to argue against it either.

"Atta girl, une si bonne fille." Remy praised, standing up straight. His hands went to the fastenings of his pants, all the while maintaining eye contact with you. "Ya trust Remy, don'cha cher?" He asked, slowly pushing his pants and underwear down off of his hips.

Your gaze left his then, moving down his otherwise fully clothed body until you were greeted with the sight of his half hard cock slipping from it's confines. Your eyes went wide. He was certainly much bigger than anyone you'd ever been with before.

You realised Remy was still watching you, slowly stroking himself now, waiting for an answer. You didn't know where to look, it was hard to tear your eyes away from the sight of his cock swelling to it's full, impressive size.

Finally, you found your words, "Y-yeah, I trust you."

"Perfect." Remy smirked and took up his position right in front of you, his hands on the back of the chair again. You gulped, head swimming with anticipation. "Then open up dat pretty mouth for me."

You drew in a long breath before slowly parting your lips, wider and wider until he nodded his approval. Remy seemed to realise that he had forgotten something, taking your hands from your lap and guiding them to his bare thighs. "Da's for yer own peace of mind, don' wan' you thinkin' you gon' fall."

You braced your hands on his muscular legs and soon realised why as he pulled on the back of your chair, slowly tilting you forward. The movement causing your mouth to lower onto his cock. It was definitely a different experience to anything you were used to, he had almost complete control over your movement.

Remy moaned quietly, taking in the tantalisingly debauched sight of your luscious lips wrapped around him. He took in every detail and sensation, observing you as if you were creating a beautiful piece of artwork right in front of him.

You looked up at him with hooded eyes, slowly working your tongue around him with what little space you had left to use.

Remy moaned again, deeper this time before just as slowly tipping the chair back down, his cock sliding almost all of the way out of your mouth.

"Y'okay, cher?" He asked, his chest rising and falling quickly. You could tell he was holding himself back a little, but he needed to make sure you were still on board with this.

You nodded slowly, running your hands slowly up and down his thighs, squeezing the muscles lying taught beneath his smooth skin.

Remy nodded back and steadied his stance. He moved the chair forward and backward again in quicker succession this time, watching your face for any sign of discomfort. He relaxed when all he saw was lust and wanton desire on your features.

You kept your hands braced on his legs, giving yourself a firm and steady anchor point to rely on. You moaned around his dick as he moved you again, a little deeper this time but still manageable.

He gradually built up a good rhythm. Not fast enough to be overwhelming for you but definitely enough to have him moaning freely, loving the soft warmth of your mouth as he moved you back and forth.

"Dat hot lil' mouth feelin' so good on me, cher." He whispered huskily, just loud enough for you to hear. You still had to be quiet, you couldn't imagine how mortifying it would be if one of the others walked in on you two right now.

Remy's words of encouragement shot a tingle through your body that ended up right between your legs. You pressed your thighs together hard and whimpered, tears prickling your eyes as your arousal started to get the better of you.

Remy noticed the change in your demeanour and slowly lowered the chair completely back down to the floor, his cock slipping free from your mouth for the first time since he'd started. A mixture of saliva and precum followed after him, coating your lips and chin.

You loved how completely blissed out you were feeling, high on the endorphins and serotonin surging through your body. Without really thinking about it you slid from the chair and onto your knees between Remy's feet. You were going on instinct, being driven by the almighty lust that you felt for this man.

"Y'kay down dere, angel?" Remy enquired, cocking an eyebrow and sliding a reassuring hand onto your shoulder as he watched you with intrigue.

You nodded slowly, grazing your teeth over your bottom lip. "Uhuh, just wanna make you come that's all..." Your words came out so soft and breathy that it was his turn to barely hear you, but he soon got the idea when you reached up and started to stroke him back to full hardness.

He moaned just a little louder than he'd liked to, caught a little off guard by the sudden sensation of your soft hands. "Well cher, Remy ain't gon' be arguin' widdat." He chuckled when he'd regained composure, jutting his hips forward for you. As soon as he was rigid again you wasted no time in taking his cock back into your mouth. You set a relatively fast pace, bobbing your head quickly, taking as much as would while working him with your tongue. Your hands went to his hips, pulling him forward and back gently in time with your bobbing. "Merde..." He hissed, looking down at you as he snaked his hand into the hair at the back of your head. "Jus' like dat, belle. Remy be comin' in no time if you be doin' dat..."

Spurred on by his words you forced yourself to take him just a little deeper, feeling him throb against your tongue in response, followed by the salty taste of precum.

You moaned softly as Remy's fingers tightened in your hair, gripping the strands at the very root. His hips stuttered a little, a tell tale sign that he getting close.

One of your hands left his hip and made it's way between his legs to massage his balls, lifting them with your palm and rolling them in their sack slowly.

The sound that came out of the Cajun's mouth was like music to your ears. Along guttural moan peppered with some indistinguishable French curse words. Apparently he didn't seem to care if anyone heard anymore.

A couple more minutes went by of you greedily sucking him and playing with his balls before Remy suddenly pulled back, his cock popping from your mouth wetly.

He wrapped his hand around his dick as he quickly guided you to sit back in the discarded chair from earlier. You complied, scrabbling up onto the wooden seat.

Remy stood over you, straddling your legs a she began jerking himself off quickly. "M' gonna come all over dat pretty face, cher... ya' ready?"

You nodded, heat rushing to your cheeks in anticipation. His hand made it's way to the back of your head again, holding you in place as he chased his orgasm.

The visual of such a devastatingly gorgeous man masturbating over you was intoxicating, it made your head spin just watching him. An odd swell of pride hit you as you noticed your saliva still coating his cock as he stroked himself, sliding his length between the makeshift sheath of his palm and thick fingers.

"Beg me, cher. Beg Remy for his cum." He panted.

You could tell he was right there, right on the precipice, he just needed to hear you.

"Please Remy, fuck... please cum all over me..." You whined, your breathing almost as shallow as his by now.

That did the trick. Almost as soon as the last words left passed your lips Remy let out a long, loud moan as his cock started to twitch. He pulled you closer just as thick, white ropes of cum started to shoot from his slit.

You opened your mouth just in time as you felt some of the hot, salty fluid paint your tongue. The rest splashed across your face in haphazard directions, marking you as his. Remy's fist slowed and his breathing steadied as the pleasure subsided. It was at that moment that you locked eyes with him. It was then that he fully saw the mess he'd made of you. The sight of you covered in his seed seemed to stun him for a small moment before his trademark cockiness returned.

"Lookin' good dere, beautiful. Dat look really suit you, ah?" He quipped, winking as he turned to find a washcloth.

You took it from him with a shy smile, your hormone fuelled confidence ebbing away slightly in the aftermath. But you smiled to yourself as you wiped your face clean because you had a feeling that he was right. It did suit you.

[butch-reidentified]

I've spoken before about psychopathy, particularly my own, and the importance of recent research and demolishing the stigma and absolutely absurd past conceptions and measures of psychopathy, which were exclusively based on studies of male prisoners convicted of violent crime.

Just to reiterate - psychopathy is not being deranged and uncontrollably violent. Villanelle from Killing Eve is actually an excellent and well-researched example of high-EQ female psychopathy, and the first fictional portrayal I can genuinely see myself in. Psychopaths with high EQ are entirely capable of cognitive empathy, and many (like myself) are actually very gifted in it, and can even make excellent counselors/therapists as a result of this combined with a lack of strong internal biases and the fact that we won't be emotionally impacted/drained by patients. This presentation of psychopathy is becoming more and more recognized and studied, and is distinctly more common in women. We retain the core defining traits, obviously - boldness, deviancy, disinhibition, very high fear threshold, a tendency toward meanness (self-control is a thing, though), reduced capacity for remorse and regret*, and of course lack of affective (emotional) empathy - but are much more able to moderate ourselves and prioritize social functioning, and tend to view the sadistic behavior of low-EQ psychopathic males as wasteful. My wife calls it "prosocial psychopathy."

Anyway, I just kind of wanted to touch on this again since it's been a while and there's a fair few new followers out here. I encourage you to read the above links and check the tag - it's a pretty interesting topic, to me at least.

Edit 4/25/2024: *Regarding the reduced capacity for remorse/regret: I firmly believe this sounds worse than it is. For people like me, at least, it's not that I'm going around doing terrible things and incapable of feeling bad about any of them. The truth is that remorse & regret most frequently occur as a result of intensely emotion-driven behaviors, which as a concept is largely foreign to me - I don't tend toward remorse/regret because the way I interact with the world, analyze situations, and choose to behave in response, is inherently from the very beginning done with the acceptance of potential consequences actively held in my mind. I'm not prone to regret/remorse because I know myself extremely well and make choices as consistent with my understanding of self as possible, having already prepared myself for the possibility that things could go wrong. It's more about being prepared for what might happen and able to cope when things do go wrong, rather than being a piece of shit and not feeling anything about it.

This doesn't make me better or worse than others; it's a neutral fact that male supremacy has made seem otherwise by constantly claiming that "logic" or whatever is superior to emotions. Fuck that. Loads of the best people I've ever known have been very emotion-driven (what non-shit people identify as a form of being passionate) and some of the shittest people I've known would waste their dying breath insisting they're 100% logical creatures, as if that's even a real thing. To me it feels very simple: if I'm making the best (most internally consistent, most reflective of my personality and values, etc) decisions I possibly can with whatever information I have at the time, then I've done my best, acted with integrity, and don't need to regret my choices. This is very challenging to write/talk about bc of the stigma & connotations involved, but again, this is a completely neutral fact to me in the same way I describe being a woman as a completely neutral fact despite the stigma & connotations involved there. Does any of this make sense?

[jamethinks]

Progress Designs of the Desmonds

Back at it again with another long ass post about the Desmonds. This time we're talking about their actual features because I'm seeing a lot of comparisons so I must share my piece as it's my duty 🙏🏾

*Donovan jumpscare* had to take the photo down while I write this lmao go away man.

Based on character introductions and background information, I think it's safe to assume Donovan was the first one to be designed. The obvious goal was to create a cartoonishly ugly man to portray the primary antagonist. And I must say, wonderful job. That man is just absolutely repulsive to look at. His design reminds me heavily of the Frankenstein monster, from the pale skin to the grey streak and the weird stitches on the sides of his head. His big bulging eyes make him such an unnerving presence, I can always feel him looking at me. That one panel of him with baby Demetrius with hair on his head and a soul in his body is very interesting to me. It's like he lost all life over his time as prime minister (or having to deal with Damian who knows). I also love how his design doesn't lean too much into Jewish stereotypes (aside from that massive nose). A bit refreshing in the grand scheme of things.

The next would obviously be the wonderful Damian. As always, I have no proof of this claim but istg at some point, it was said that Damian was to look more like his dad, but they changed it to make his character more approachable. Makes it even funnier to think of how he looks nothing like his father, like he really had to rework that one lmao. Damian is obviously very stunning, unlike his hideous father, which makes good contrast. His most stand out feature are his slanted downturned eyes, the use of straight edges give him a sharper look making him appear more mature than his peers and direct opposes Anay big fucking googly eyes. But also gives him a permanent slightly sad look which kinda sells how depressing his life is.

Naturally, when you have a child that looks nothing like one parent, they have to be a carbon copy of the other one. And so we get Melinda aka Damian if he was a middle-aged woman. Melinda has a very mature and sophisticated appearance, very similar to her son. Her downturned eyes again give her a sharp appearance with a hint of sadness. Much like her son, she's very distant from her husband and clearly doesn't like the position she's in. There isn't much to be said about her since most of her design borrows heavily from Damian so I would just be repeating myself. Anyways, I love when mothers get to have their Reese Witherspoon moment. When daughters are one to one clones of their mothers a fairy is born ✨️

Lastly, we have probably my favorite design of all the Desmonds. Our dearly beloved, Demetrius. He is the epitome of storytelling through design. It's very rare for characters to look like an actual blend of their parents. Most of the time, they would just pick the patent they're most similar to or different for contrast. In the case of Demetrius, however, effort was put into perfectly merging both of his parents to really make a son. He fits perfectly into the family, blending in put and standing. His long body with slick back hair makes him look so scary and daunting. His eyes are round but not scary like Donovan's or cute like Anya but just vacant. Truly head empty, no thoughts. Such an ironic appearance for such a brilliant child. He reminds me a bit of an owl, notorious symbols for intelligence despite being complete dumbasses. He has a very round appearance, which makes for nice contrast (that's the only word I know apparently) for his sharp attitude. He doesn't have the same sadness and his mother and brother but a sort of exhaustion and dissociation that's somehow even sadder.

It's amazing how many beautiful and intricately designed characters spawned from such a horrific disgusting repulsive nerve-wracking nauseating man. Like Donovan is truly one of the ugliest things I've ever seen. An exception job at creating something so utterly grotesque and revolting. Really he looks like a rotting corpse how to Melinda manage to fuck him TWICE? Jesus she's the strongest character here man fuck Yor.

Anyways, if you made it this far, here are some bonus notes on character designs in sxf

From what I can remember, Anya is the only other main character with large round eyes. I guess the evidence to the whole telepathy theory

Anya is also one of my favourite character designs. Her pins remind me of Kasumi from bang dream and to a much lesser extent Batman. She's a star and a cat

Nightfall was designed to be the absolute opposite of Yor from her physical characteristics to her personality and even alliance. It makes extra cunt (that's a double entendre)

Franky is my least favorite character design but I can't hare him too much bc he looks Jewish like that guy from glee

Bond has the worst character design simply because his paws are biologically impossible, and his ears do no match any dog breed I can find. How dare you make me use my imagination

Although Yor is supposed to be white (kinda), she has the appearance of a traditional Japanese woman with the long black hair, pale skin, soft voice, and love for red. This helps signal a warm and ideal female character, perfect for the female lead and main love interest

Loid's blonde hair and blue eyes give him a rather effeminate appearance, but discussing that implication further would require a crash course in race science. For now just picture him dying his hair every few weeks

To this day I don't get why Martha cut her hair. She ate but still

Henry has a massive forehead, and it scares me. Rihanna what are you doing here. He'd another well designed characters who's role in the story is clear just by looking at him. Love the depth added with the backstory to his monocle 🧐

And underrated character design to me is Mrs Schlag. She looks like a bulldog, which is such a great detail. Bulldogs are known for being nanny dogs but also extremely aggressive. A great fit for the signature, miserable old lady teacher who you have such a love-hate relationship with

How many gay men do you think went to the Berlint General Hospital Psych ward to he treated for homosexual tendencies only be so gagged by Fiona's lethal Bob that they immediately get released because the uneducated heterosexual doctors confuses their gag-ment for attraction? How many twinks have been saved from conversion therapy because of that bob? Troye Sivan owes her his life and career

I think Sharon is the hottest of the office ladies. Idk she's so mad men coded I need her to burn me with that cigarette

Bonus: I was starting to run out of words to describe Donovan

Also:

If you made it this far, have a wet Bond for all your troubles

[staraxiaa]

porcelain, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

first and foremost: upon rereading, a scene in this fic holds a lot of similarities to one from dust, diamonds on ao3 by maokitty. (the jealousy scene w the husband where the wall crumbles) especially with the dialogue. i was definitely taking inspiration from that fic while writing the scene, and wanted to make a note of it here. go read it even if ur not into aot pls bc it’s actually life-changing !! i beat my sunflower record btw this was 25k ish words written in less than 20 total writing hours. spread over 1.5 days total. also i think i fucked up the pacing a lot from what id originally planed buuut at least its over. dobby is finally free!!! anyways. the original intent for this fic was a discussion on body imagery, to anyone who has ever struggled with the unrealistic standards of social media and/or felt lesser than themselves because they were not beautiful in a 'typical' manner. but then it ballooned into a monster of its own bc i was like how can i make this hurt. i took my inspiration from porcelain + kintsugi vases... like how can i break this reader before i put her back together. i think that i'd like to touch upon similar topics again one day. as a natural extension of my style and the way i write that 'fits' the childhood theme of this collection, i don't believe i handled these topics the best i could've: a lot of them are simplified to a point that, looking back, makes me go 'eugh' a bit because there's so much depth there that i had to like, tamp down upon as a result of my own inexperience. parts of it were likely believable, and parts of it likely weren't - whether because of my youth, or because i was afraid of approaching these topics from the 'wrong' angle. either way, i hope to be able to grow as a writer to the point that i can tackle these themes again to a point where i myself can be sufficiently pleased with the depth i've put into it. that is all. if you've read up to here, thank you. i'm not really expecting this one to do nearly as well as sunflowers - the content is heavier, it's not nearly as light, and shouto is just less of a popular character overall. but this is very likely my magnum opus so far in terms of how much thought has been put into the work, so it means a lot to me even if you do not interact, and simply read up til this point. thank you. your support truly means a lot. will also update again as i think of things

unwritten scenes, headcanons, thought process

another angst scene. at the todoroki forgiveness dinner table, katsuki and izuku are probably there. i havent watched this scene i just know it exists. (was gonna go find it just for research). enji hits shouto with the 'you can marry whoever you'd like' thing majig. shouto's like, cool i didnt give a shit anyways i was gonna marry her. with or without your permission. and THEN i hit you with the akshually... she's engaged... to be honest, a lot more scenes where it was just mother and daughter. i really wanted the point to hit home that, the mother is always intending to do good in the only ways she knows how - it's not discussed thoroughly, and she's obviously a negative influence when it matters most, which is why reader cuts her off at the end. i am a firm believer that not all parenting is good parenting, even when it comes from a good place, and to me it's like when you hurt someone - it doesn't matter your intention, because that should always come secondary to the fact that you hurt them in some way. sorry. i'm not sure if cutting completely out of the life like that was necessary, but i think that in real life, sometimes it is. something to think abt / regret abt this piece ig lots more on the brother. he was not seen a lot, and i cba to include more about him cuz tbh he's only really relevant for like... 2 scenes but basically the tl;dr is that. he also feels the same pressure. it's just offscreen. (he's a man, he's his father's heir, but he sees the impact this family has upon you). i honestly think he's pookie and hold him dear to my heart but he was really just there to get the plot moving... so.... sorry guys. i didnt even bother to give him a name. BUT hes definitely a very complex character i just didnt write it..... i just needed to add a little happiness to the dysfunctional family ok the husband. okay. so. i originally wrote him in with the intention of being someone to hate, entirely and utterly, with the whole of my heart. but i absolutely hate writing in characters that don't have at least some depth/some complexity, so here goes: he was definitely in love, i think, though i'm not sure i would call it that. there was a grooming aspect to it, an age gap difference (he attended all your recitals/performances when you were underage, had his eye on you), was twice your age. i think i wrote it in a way where it could definitely be interpreted as a form of love, as twisted and fucked up as it was⏤ in the way you think of ownership, that a pretty woman is nothing more than a flower to give the sun to, to water when you'd like. but you're not. you're more than that, you need more than food and water and a roof over your head, more than pretty jewels. you just couldn't love him, and i think that's the part that fucked with him the most. the husband was always supposed to die. i toyed with different versions of this⏤ if you should be the one to kill him, a final 'hurrah' when you finally find your courage. but i thought this wasn't very in line with the reader characterization, so i didn't include this. it's ok though u guys are always #1 bosses in my heart. i hope its clear though that the reader didnt love him at any point bc i dont like him enough as a character to give him that. sorry. he was also supposed to be a mafia man... did i make that clear... but both him and the father were like. i hate these characters. the father especially (he has 0 characterization he's only plot relevant bc he has to be). wipe them both from ur minds pls xx in terms of the baby: i actually know nothing about motherhood. this is only what i've done from the best of my imagination. if it isn't accurate at all i apologize.

i did not know tumblr had a max characters per block. i yap a lot huh. anyways on to cute shouto moments <3 i really considered the idea of like. sex scenes. nothing graphic, but tl;dr with shouto when you cry, he stops immediately. this would be near the end, when you're learning to live again, but it's like, you're so moved because no one has ever done it like this for you before, and he's just worried that he's done something wrong, and it's sad but it's like. you don't know if you can ever handle touch again, but bc you're married, you think it's your duty, and you also love him, so you want to try. you guys love each other so much i could sob. i didnt add this just bc i didnt think this was the fic i wanted to start nsfw with, and bc i dont think i could do the intimacy i wanted justice. also tbh i debated on including more thoughts of shouto during the relationship with the husband but i think, while the mc would definitely think of him, she would try her best to be a good wife. i think this is textbook of abusive relationships (i tried to portray that in the way that the husband speaks and turns the fault onto mc when he hits her) where naturally, they abuse you despite you already doing the best you can, and make you feel lesser for it. i.e. she hasn't thought about shouto the whole while, hasn't done anything, doesn't intend on it, and he still blames her for the way she feels. DID I EMPHASIZE THAT HE PICKS UP EVERY CALL EVEN THO U DONT TEXT HIM ANYMORE JUST IN CASE bc shouto todoroki the man that you are... the man i wrote you as... im never marrying idgaf i write my own standards too high i also jus wanna say guys... the way u pull him out of his shell... and then its his turn to pull him out of urs.... i am a SUCKER for stories that come full circle watch me write it into mermaid au anyways im so excited!!!!! in another world, shouto is the one to catch you. somehow he's in your penthouse apartment. the man's holding a knife to your throat (??) or it's your husband trying to save his own skin. in some variations you walk off the edge yourself, in some variations your husband pushes you, in some variations it's the man. i thought this fit better. either way in all of them he was supposed to dive off the fucking building after u but i also thought: he can't be there himself but he makes sure ur taken care of anyways. sort of fitting the characterization i had for him, i think. i rlly considered a kiss scene too but it'd be sort of natural. like stepping into someone's warmth and feeling entirely comfortable in it, knowing it's what you want and knowing it's also what he wants. at the end. but i didn't add it. wouldve been sweet but unnecessary bc i think this would be further down the line and would require a separate scene. once again i scoot free of my kiss-writing responsibilities ! ! ! more on this, though, i think i really like writing about how simple intimacy can be. i do not believe you need to be physically affectionate with someone to love them, though you certainly can be, and i hope this was reflected in the way i portrayed both shouto and reader. in my dreams we are shouto's sugar babies and just vibe for the rest of our lives. and that is all. the smallest things the reader does make him so happy like. slowly. you guys are already holding hands, so a kiss on the cheek would make him the happiest man on earth. oh here's a bonus scene: at some point he takes you out to see the fireworks. the two of you are sitting, you're tucked snugly into his side, you're watching the fireworks, but when you turn, he's watching you. it's so stupidly romantic. you probably ask him what he's looking at and hes just like 'you'. you flush a little. he kisses the top of your head, grinning like the little shit he is.

i also think it'd take a length of time to get married, so you guys probably do kiss sometime before then. no clue about the scene. but canonically (aka in my head) you guys are just having a normal conversation. like Normal Normal. nothing fancy. and all of a sudden you just lean in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. he touches it, and you can see the shock on his face. dunno if you lie and say 'something there i was just getting it for you' bc im a sucker for that but he only leans a little closer and asks you to do it again. i'd like to think man is patient even tho he desperately wants to (like to the point it's painful to watch) so you have to tell him straight up it's okay to do anything, when you're ready: i.e. initiate kisses and anything else later down the line. once he gets the green light though there's no stopping (he will immediately if u ever tell him) like in my head this man has been basically touch starved all his life and he YEARNS. everyone say thank you to the anon who prompted these scenes btw notes on reader: i think what i wanted to explore with this piece was the way that your parents, the environment you grow up in, the role models you have can shape how you grow a lot. but that does not mean you need to stay that way forever. and that even if you do, you are not necessarily 'weak' or any lesser. reader never actually stood up for herself until the very end, but she was strong in her own way. she tried her best to be a good wife, even when she practically hated her husband. she persevered, she tried her best to love her child. things were bleak, but she pulled through; she kept on living, she kept on breathing. and that was enough. she was enough! <33 i also don't know if this reader was a very believable one. a lot of what i explored here was an extension of some of my own experiences, but like. i simply have not experienced a lot of it personally, unlike with my other pieces, and not at all to the same depth. i hope that there are people out there that can resonate with her and her experiences, but like not in a fucked up way. i simply hope that this story can make someone out there feel seen/heard, even if it's just a little. also putting this here to say, i tried to write reader in a way where it made her thoughts read off as like. ingrained into her? but that the way she thinks is not supposed to be normalized. please love yourselves. just wanted to make that clear djsklsfjd

[kathaynesart]

What advice would you give to someone who really wants to get into writing/drawing comics, but doesn't know how or where to start? What would you recommend? Even if/ especially if they already have a decent history in writing and drawing

SHORT ANSWER: Don’t do what I’m doing with Replica haha! I’m breaking all my own rules with this comic but maybe we can use it as a good example of what not to do in my rant below…

LONG ANSWER: (below the cut)

Hoo boy… there are so many avenues this question could take. I assume you don’t necessarily mean entering the comic industry as a professional (there are far more experienced people you can ask about that). But simply drawing your own comics? I'll try my best to break down some of the basics I've picked up over the years. Note these are just my opinion and there is always room for other methods...

1. ASK YOURSELF WHAT KIND OF COMIC AM I DOING?

The first thing to consider is what is your intention with this comic? Do you want to tell a story centered around a preexisting fandom or tell a completely new story you came up with? What genre do you want to focus on? I'd recommend finding something that really sparks your interest, because you're going to be working on it for far longer than a regular art piece. Plus if you like it, someone else is bound to like it as well!

2. ASK YOURSELF DOES IT NEED TO BE A COMIC?

This may sound silly... but often times I find people fail to take into consideration whether or not the story they are telling works best with the medium they are considering. Had I done Replica as a fan fiction, I would be much farther along with it... but with comics there comes a wide range of subtle visual cues, parallels, and symbolism I can use that I wouldn't be able to show through writing. The written word also has many strengths that comics lack... it just comes down to what you want to be able to show in your story.

3. KEEP IT SHORT AND SIMPLE

If this is your first time doing a comic, I recommend not overextending yourself with some grand epic that is going to take you forever (like Replica haha.)

Example: Years ago a close friend and I did a webcomic called Perpetual Flux that we were unable to finish. It went for about 2-3 years, was over 110 pages long, and yet we had only managed to get about 3 chapters into what would have probably been a +30 chapter story. We came up with this huge epic we wanted to tell and while it was a story we still wanted to finish, it just became impossible to continue as our lives and availability changed.

So start small! And take that experience you gain into bigger, future projects. Obviously I have not learned my lesson with Replica, but at least with this project it's something I can do on my own time and is supported by a wonderful community who keep me inspired. Speaking of which...

4. FINDING AN AUDIENCE

If it’s a story based off something with an existing fandom then half the work is already done! You just need to start interacting more with people in that fandom, and I mean really interacting. Talk to other artists, join Zines, leave comments, and share other people’s work. It can foster a community and help you be a part of the fandom so that people will be interested in what you have to share.

If it’s a new story you’re going to have to create your own community. Nowadays it’s easier than ever to get your work out there, but the competition for eyes is much steeper. What I find that works is rather than starting the comic cold turkey, draw out some highlights from your future story. Moments that have yet to unfold that might wet a random viewer's appetite for more. Kind of like… a trailer for what’s to come. Keep dropping those little crumbs of interest as you prep your comic to garner some interest and that way when you do start you may already have some followers who might share your work around!

5. CONSISTENCY IS KEY

Get into the habit of drawing and writing regularly. I know it can be a hassle and the last thing you want to do is make it a chore, but like exercising I find that the more I do it, the easier it is and the better I feel about it. Nowadays I feel weird if I'm not at least writing some script or drawing a few sketches towards my comic/projects every day.

Also, if you can make sure to update fairly regularly (something I also fail at with Replica haha, but at least I try to post little things here and there when time allows). It's important to let your followers know that you are still there and you care! It also helps keep you at the front of their minds. My fellow Apocalypse AU creators Cass and Tapakah0 are GREAT at this as they post a ton! It helps garner a strong community and a lot of continuous excitement! I wish I had that same energy and time but you'll have to make do with my old-lady pace of things, bless you all haha.

6. GRAPHIC DESIGN

Obviously as a writer and artist you're used to doing both... but with comics there's another aspect that can come into play. Graphic design! Whether it's your title, your font choices, the word bubbles, or the way you break down the panels, these area all things you should take into consideration. For example, every webcomic has panels, but they can vary tremendously in style. Because of Tumblr and the nature of the scroll method I chose to forgo the typical "comic book style" for more of a... loose storyboard feel where I care more about the angle of the shot within each panel rather than how these separated images link up to one another. Where as with Perpetual Flux, it was laid out on actual comic pages so we had to take serious consideration into how they fit together within each page. IngunnSara is also a great example of this more traditional method of paneling and it's gorgeous and difficult and they have my utmost respect for pulling it off with Hamato Wanderers! So I recommend looking to some of your own favorite comics and see what jives with you.

7. FIND A STYLE THAT WORKS FOR YOU

Also failed this with Replica haha, but to be fair I went right into it with the intent on learning the style as I went. But I recommend having some grasp on the style you want to use and whether or not it's a viable to be drawing over and over again for your comic (for example, if you make it too detailed it will take you far longer to draw!)

8. FORGET ABOUT PERFECTION

Perfection is a lie. There is no place for it in art, especially if you're just doing this for your own pleasure. Don't strive for it. Don't worry about it. Don't compare yourself. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep learning from it. You'll get much farther!

Ok... hopefully that helps a bit. I'm sure there's plenty more to talk about but I feel like I've talked enough for now. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk and lemmed know if you manage to get your comic off the ground :)

[hippiegoth97]

Hi! I don't know if you do requests right now because you're probably working on a lot of upcoming projects, so don't feel pressured to write my request. I just can't get this idea out of my head; it's been on my mind for almost a week now. So, who better to ask than my favorite writer?! Anyways, reader recently came out as bisexual and is now in her first relationship with a woman, Chrissy, who's also bisexual. She is still new to the sexual experience with a woman, so Chrissy helps her out. I hope that's enough information for you to work with 💜

A/N: Okay, this has been sitting in my inbox forever, and my other projects unfortunately got in the way. But it's here, finally! I hope you enjoy it, I've never written Chrissy this way before! And I haven't written as much WLW fic as I'd like, so hopefully this doesn't suck! Thanks again for requesting, and *blush* thanks for saying I'm your favorite, it means a lot 💜

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: smut, swearing, fem!bisexual!reader, bisexual!chrissy cunningham, fluff, LGBTQ+ themes, coming out, light angst, past relationships, oral sex, fingering

“Just relax, baby. Let me make you feel good.” Chrissy says as she looms over you on the couch in her apartment. Her eyes peer into yours, confident and reassuring. Your comfortable smile matches her own, the two of you having downed a nice meal of pasta and red wine before cozying up to watch a movie you'd rented. Of course, the film became far less interesting than each other's mouths rather quickly. And now, she's got you safely caged in, her body slotted between your thighs as her gaze offers you the world.

You've been seeing each other for a couple months after an initial blind date,  courtesy of your friends. That went as awkward as one could imagine, complete with fumbling hands and a drink spilled on someone’s blouse. But once the ball got rolling, sparks began to fly between you in no time at all. Chrissy is unbelievably sweet, and kind. She genuinely cares about your needs. And you do everything you can to be the same for her. 

You haven't always dated women, Chrissy is actually the first woman you've ever been with. Well, beyond the occasional drunken party make-out with Robin. It took you far too long to figure out you are indeed bisexual, denying your feelings and pretending. But at a certain point, it all clicked. You like girls as much as you like boys, and that scared the hell out of you when you first pieced it together. And it scared you even more to tell your friends about it.

You're pacing back and forth near the front door, waiting for your friends to arrive. You've invited them over under the guise of hanging out and having drinks. A typical Friday night. They have no idea what the real reason is, and how terrified you are. Tonight, you plan to come out of the closet.

You know you shouldn't be this freaked out. You really don't have anything to worry about when it comes to your group of friends. Robin is gay, Eddie (your ex) is bi himself and now dating Steve (also bi, obviously). And Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle are the most supportive people in the world to all of them. You know they'll love you no matter what, that they'll be happy for you. But you can't help being a nervous wreck regardless, you've always been a chronic worrier. 

Before you have time to fake being sick and call the whole thing off, the doorbell rings. “Fuck.” You mutter, smoothing down your shirt and running your hands over your hair to straighten up. You open the door, finding five smiling faces waiting for you. Steve's got a couple six packs in his grip, with Eddie gripping a bottle of whiskey while his other arm rests around Steve's waist. “Hey guys, come in.” You smile nice and wide, opening the door further to let them inside.

“Hey, Y/N. How's it going?” Robin asks, pulling you into a hug with her hands full of chip bags.

“Great, now that you're all here.” You say, genuinely meaning it. The second you’ve seen them all standing there in the entryway, you know everything is going to be fine. These wonderful people are your family, after everything you've been through together.

“Always happy to be around, sweetheart.” Eddie chimes in, helping Steve set the booze down on your kitchen counter just off the entrance to your apartment. Even though you're not together anymore, Eddie still drops the sweet names he used to call you. It's nice to be on such good terms with him, your break-up actually went pretty well. You cared about each other, and had a lot in common. But things just weren't working, and you decided you'd be better off as friends. Besides, he's never been happier now that he has Steve. And fuck knows Steve is totally over the moon to have his love after a long line of absolute duds.

“Thanks, Eds.” You reply, immediately grabbing the bottle of liquor to pour some into a glass. 

“Eager to get the party started, huh?” Jonathan asks, giving you an odd glance. It usually takes a wee bit of playful peer pressure to get you to drink up, and here you are beating them all to the punch.

“Yeah. Why not?” You answer casually, knocking back a shot's worth before filling the glass halfway. You don't even bother with ice, you need the full sting of the alcohol to loosen your lips a little. Everyone else gets their drinks, and you all make your way to the couch and chairs in your humble living room. Nancy sits on Jonathan's lap on the sofa, Robin and Argyle taking the space beside them. Steve and Eddie take chairs side by side, while you stay standing. 

“Something wrong, Y/N?” Steve questions, noticing your fingers anxiously tapping on your glass. Now that you're standing in front of them, your confidence is resting on shaky ground.

“Uh, yeah. I just, um…h-have something I've been wanting to tell you guys.” You start, eyes darting between them and the floor. 

“You're not knocked up are you?” Eddie jokes, earning a smack from Steve. “Ow! Sorry, kidding.” He puts his hands up defensively, ignoring the disapproving glare from his boyfriend.

“It's fine. And no, it's not that.” You let out a dry giggle, partially wishing it really was something that simple. 

“Ooh, does someone have a new boy toy?” Nancy pipes up, drawing ‘oohs’ from the others.

“Nah, he'd be hangin’ off her arm right now if she did.” Argyle chuckles. The rest of them laugh, too, further detracting from what you're trying to do here. You grip your glass tighter as they go back and forth making comments and poking fun. You know they mean well, and you love them to pieces. But you need a damn second to say this before you change your mind.

“That's not it, alright!?” You snap, shutting them up. The group looks at you with wide eyes, and you sigh. “Sorry. It's just really important that I tell you guys this. It's been weighing on me for a while, and I need you to listen.”  

“It's fine, angel. We shouldn't have interrupted. Tell us what's goin’ on.” Eddie says apologetically, gesturing to give you the floor. 

“Okay.” You pause, taking a deep breath. “I'm just gonna…come out and say it.” You scoff at your own unintended pun. “I'm…” You clear your throat, and spit it out already. “...bisexual.” You finish, holding your breath now as the room is still silent.

“Is that all?” Steve asks, raising an eyebrow. You frown, and he elaborates. “Sorry, I just thought we knew this already.” He shrugs.

“What? No!” You cross your arms, getting defensive. You search the eyes of your other friends, finding no amount of surprise in them whatsoever. “You mean to tell me everybody knew except for me?” You ask in annoyance.

“To be honest, princess? We thought you did, too.” Eddie replies, bearing an awkward expression.

“Well, I didn't, so…” You say meekly, overwhelmingly embarrassed. They all knew. It makes you wonder, if perhaps there's some big, obnoxious neon sign on your forehead that says ‘QUEER’ on it. Bright and flashing for everyone to see, except for you. “God, I’m a fucking idiot.” You scoff again, shaking your head. You down the rest of your drink, storming off to the kitchen for another. 

“Y/N.” Robin calls after you, getting up from her seat to follow you. The others are only a step behind, on a mission to comfort you. Rob meets you at the counter, putting her hand on your shoulder as you pour a larger glass this time. You hesitantly meet her gaze, wondering what she'll say. “Y/N, you're not an idiot. Okay? We know how hard figuring this out is. Well, most of us, anyway.” She gets a small laugh from the others at that, as well as you. “Look, maybe we knew before you did, but that's not a bad thing. We've been where you are. Hiding, denying, feeling confused and afraid. But we love you exactly as you are, no matter what.” She pulls you in for a tight hug, and you gladly squeeze her back with all your might. 

“You're stuck with us, babydoll. Us queers have to stick together.” Eddie adds, making you laugh through your happy tears. He joins in the hug, followed by the rest of your wonderful friends. 

“Thanks, guys. I'm so lucky to call you my friends, my family. I love you all so much.” You say affectionately, muffled against Robin's shoulder.

“We love you too, man.” Argyle speaks on everyone's behalf, earning silent nods as they surround you in a comforting huddle.

“You okay, Y/N? You went somewhere else for a minute there.” Chrissy pulls you out of your own head, concern staining the smile on her face.

“Yeah. I'm fine. Where were we?” You answer, focusing on sharing this moment with her. 

“Well…” She smirks, lowering herself to kiss your lips. It's soft and warm, and heat pools in your belly. “...I was gonna go down on my girlfriend.” Another kiss, firmer this time, but still just as loving. “Is that what you want, baby?” She purrs, waiting for your permission.

“Yes.” You whisper back, earning her mouth on yours once again. Chrissy slips her tongue past your lips, tangling with your own. Quiet moans leave you both, the temperature in the room quickly rising. Her fingers nimbly open the buttons on your blouse, the fabric parting to reveal your bra. Her hands trail up your waist and over your ribs, meeting the plush cups covering your breasts. She's not shy about squeezing them together, getting a real feel for the size and shape of them. “Chris.” You moan as her lips leave yours to find your neck instead. 

Chrissy’s movements are completely self-assured. Simultaneously keeping you at ease, and driving you wild with arousal. You've never felt more comfortable getting intimate with someone than you do right now. Every kiss and touch feels like the best decision ever made, all by her hand. Though it's far too early to say it out loud, it's certain that you're falling in love with her. “Sit up, I wanna see more of my gorgeous girl.” Chrissy coos, backing off to let you up. You do as she asks, and she gently sheds you of your shirt before reaching around to your back. The clasp of your bra unhooks as if by magic, the straps falling slack from your shoulders. She gingerly removes the piece of underwear from you, revealing your pert mounds, nipples stiffened in the centers. “God, you're so pretty.” Chrissy exhales, finding your gaze again. 

“Thanks.” You blush, bashfully looking up at her through your lashes. The way she's admiring you with her eyes, it's like you're a mythical goddess she's vying to worship. No man has ever looked at you this way, not even Eddie, who was definitely the best of them. It's as if you're truly being seen for the very first time. “Baby…” You let out a small giggle, having to turn away as her stare burns into you with the power of a thousand smiling suns.

“Oh, honey. Don't look away.” Chrissy tuts as she guides you to face her again, her soft fingers leading your chin. “You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met. Can you really blame me for getting lost in your image?” She says earnestly, the words charging the air with intense sexual electricity. It's official, you're about one step away from proposing if she keeps this up. 

“I guess not.” You chuckle, unsure what else to say. Without another word, Chrissy leads you to lie down again. She follows you downward, her lips finding your collarbone next. She takes your bare breasts in her hands, sweetly massaging them in her palms. Her thin fingers and thumbs lovingly work your nipples, earning more quiet moans from you. Her mouth travels further along, meeting the top of your chest. The kisses she leaves are silky and warm, dialing up the simmering heat inside of you at a steady pace. 

Chrissy keeps going, her hands leaving your tits to be replaced by her eager mouth. She kisses every inch she can reach, making your head feel light. Her hands reach further down your body, unbuttoning your jeans and sliding the zipper down its track. She slips inside the opening, finding what she imagines are matching panties. She presses on, no hesitation as she maneuvers underneath the luxe fabric to locate your needy clit. 

“Fuck.” You moan as Chrissy's fingertips whisper over the sensitive bud.

“Oh, you're so wet, honey...”  She smiles against your skin, pleased to know how good she's making you feel. She swirls your slick around, toying between your folds, circling your weeping hole. Her lips continue to worship your tits, licking and sucking to keep the pretty sounds spilling out of you. Your thigh happens to be between her legs in this position, and she can't help grinding against it as she's becoming rather worked up herself. She sighs into your flesh at the friction, your head spinning even more at the angelic sound.

“Feels so good, baby.” You say softly, cradling her head in your hand. Her strawberry blonde hair is in a ponytail, it almost always is, giving you the perfect view of her gorgeous face. Her plush lips and succulent tongue toil over your left nipple, her eyes blissfully closed. You can feel her breath fanning hotly across your skin, hear the soft moans as she slowly continues to grind on your leg, while her hand keeps riling you up inside your pants. After a few moments of being entranced by her, Chrissy slips two fingers into your soaked cunt. “Oh, god…” You whimper as she fills you up, curling her digits to hit your g-spot. The motion is slow and repetitive, teasing you before the main event. 

She pulls her lips away from your addictive flesh, cupping your cheek. “I can't wait to taste how sweet you are.” She says softly, shifting herself off of your thigh to rest between your legs. Her hands reach for the waistband of your jeans, pulling them down along with your panties. You're left completely exposed to her now, knees tented to reveal your soaked pussy. Chrissy's smile grows at the sight, a twinkle of lust in her eyes as her gaze shifts between your face and cunt. “You ready for me, Y/N?” She asks, one final chance to make sure you're ready for this.

“Yes. Please.” You reply, without a care in the world for how needy you sound. A breathy giggle leaves her at that, and she maneuvers herself above where you desire her most. Her eyes flutter at the scent of you, musky and inviting. It's tempting for her to kiss your inner thighs first, drive you a teensy bit more insane before giving you what you want. But the unabashed begging in your expression makes her think better of it. Instead, she leans in, and licks a thick, wet stripe from your entrance to your clit. “Oh, fuck…” You gasp loudly, clutching at the couch cushions with your hands. It would be obvious to say you've been eaten out many times before, but nothing like this. It's like Chrissy’s tongue was made for you, setting your insides ablaze with a single stroke. You've never experienced anything so intense before, it almost makes you feel like you've gone crazy, or been dosed with some unknown drug.

“That feel good, baby?” She asks, gingerly gripping your thighs to hold you in place. She's both surprised and amused that you tried so hard not to squirm or buck your hips from one simple touch.

“Yes. So fucking good, Chris. Better than anything I've ever felt before.” The words pour out of you as if on command, all sense of control leaving your already sweating body. 

“Yeah? Good thing I'm just getting started.” She says lowly, more dark and seductive than you've ever heard from her previously. It nearly sends your eyes rolling back into your head. That is, until her tongue returns between your folds where it belongs. 

“Fucking christ…” You moan as she carefully circles around your sensitive bud, occasionally licking downwards to find every last sensitive nerve at your entrance. It takes everything in you not to grind into her face, or pin her down with your hands. Instead, one hand grasps the end of the couch cushion, while the other claws for the armrest above your head. It's all you can do to keep yourself even slightly together, and focus on the immense pleasure Chrissy gives you.

“So sweet, baby. Such pretty noises, too.” She praises between passionate licks. 

You can’t offer much in reply besides your shameless moans, hands squeezing the plush of the couch as she drives you near the edge. It won’t take much longer at all, it’s almost embarrassing how quickly Chrissy has worked you up so close to climax. Her tongue prods around the spot that sends your knees buckling every time, making your thighs jerk in her grip. “Fuck.” You gasp, hoping she���ll keep touching you…

“Right there?” Chrissy asks in a sultry tone, repeating the motion to get an answer out of you.

“Yeah, fuck, right there. Don’t stop.” You answer breathlessly, sweat gathering on your brow, and in the bends of your knees. You’re practically digging holes into the upholstery of the sofa at this point, nails clawing so deep when you wish they were buried in Chrissy’s silky locks instead. Self-control wanes from you, and you can’t stop twitching and mewling with every stroke of her tongue against your pussy. 

“So close already, baby?” She asks, struggling to hold your legs still while she eats you out. 

“Mhm, don’t stop..please, wanna…wanna cum.” You say desperately to her, dangling over the precipice of complete and utter bliss now. All she has to do is cut you loose and let you fall. You can’t hold back anymore, your hands taking control of her head before you even register what you’re doing. There’s a gnawing need deep inside yourself, and you have to help Chrissy relieve it. She moans against you at your forcefulness, allowing you to take some control. Your fingers are weaved deep inside her hair, your hips rolling furiously into her pretty face. “So close, so close…” You whimper, panting like a feral animal. Your insides start to quiver as your orgasm comes into view, bright twinkling stars threatening to flood your vision. Chrissy pushes you that much further by keeping your pace, working your weak spot and your clit in tandem. “Oh, god, oh, oh, OH…” Your moans grow louder as your high ramps up, and one perfectly placed stroke of Chrissy’s tongue sends you toppling over the edge. “Chris一 fuck!” You cry out as your thighs tremble in her grip, hips bucking without rhyme or reason as you cum hard on her face. 

“Mm.” Chrissy moans as she drinks up your juices, her eyes glued to the beautiful expression on your face in this moment. Eyes screwed closed, mouth agape in ecstasy, skin glistening with sweat as pleasure rips through you. It’s an expression she’s only seen once thus far, but it’s one she’ll strive to see again and again for as long as she knows you. She strokes your thighs gently as you slowly come down from your high, planting a warm kiss to your hip before pulling away. “How was that, honey?” She asks, words dripping with honey as she lays herself on top of you. Her weight rests carefully over yours, drawing your lust-drenched eyes to find her gorgeous face gazing upon you with even more admiration than before, if that’s even possible.

“It was the best I’ve ever had, baby.” You say with a satisfied smile, lifting your head to give her a kiss. You hum at the taste of yourself, and the plush warmth of her lips. You pull away a moment after, lips still brushing against one another as the fire is reignited in your belly. “Your turn.” You add, soft and confident. You’re ready to take your first try at this, because with Chrissy, every single thing feels easy.

[shiroselia]

Guess who completely missed I've been posting on Ao3 for over a year now, so to celebrate that almost two weeks later, behold! Self-promo!

I know, I know, but I suppose since I've been going for a year(???) now I might as well give a little Summary on what the hell I've been doing over on the Ao3, and also have a bit of fun with it in the process.

So, who the hell am I? I'm Manda Shiroselia EquestrianEquivalent, and apparently I'm an Ao3 publisher now. Sentence I never thought I'd say, but here we are!

What do I write? Well, primarily I write for Fire Emblem, Honkai Star Rail, and Star Stable Online. More precisely, I'm a character dynamics connossieur, which means I'm mostly writing character interaction and/or ship-focused fics because that's what I find the most fun! I generally average about 3-5k on my oneshots, but there are shorter (and longer) ones, so if length is something you're particularly picky about, you'll have variety in there, promise.

My personal favourite choices of the Fire Emblem variety are, coincidentally, my two most recent Fire Emblem fics! Soft Pegasus Feathers, and Dream of Me.

Good stuff, fun times, huge self-reccs of mine.

In terms of HSR, well, I've written. a lot of those, but I'm particularly, well, well-known might be a stretch, but those of you who subscribe to JingFu might recognize me for my most popular fic, Better Luck Next Time, or for my newest piece of insanity, KONTORSRENOVERING.

Better Luck Next Time is probably the best introduction to my writing style you will ever find, especially since it's kind of responsible for me finding my style, and it's also incredibly funny, if I do say so myself.

KONTORSRENOVERING is a great introduction to my particular niche, which I like to describe as "It could've been a fanart, but I'm glad it's a fic." If you read it you'll know exactly what i mean by that! Both of them are fics I hold very near and dear, so obviously I recommend each of them in particular.

And as for what I write for SSO? Well. I don't know if you have ever sorted that tag by word count, but if you have, you might have come across a certain little fic called A Quintessential Jorvegian Summer Vacation.

Which is, well, a lot of things. It's the entire reason I started publishing on Ao3 to begin with, my life's work pretty much, arguably my magnum opus really, and the entire reason my friends both discovered and has since never let me live down how fucking nuts I am.

It is the most taxing out of all my works, since, you know, check that chapter count:word count and you'll understand. I'm currently in the middle of reposting the last 4 chapters, because yes I've rewritten every single one of the first 24 chapters and counting, and once that is done, I'm going to rewrite the entire fic. Which is really just a first draft into a second draft, but considering how much I've changed as a writer throughout the 10 months I wrote this behemoth of a fic (first draft clocked in at 280k words so you can imagine how much effort this fucker took), it needs some maintainance.

With that being said, even if you don't know what the fuck a Star Stable Online is, I genuinely suggest you check this out anyways, because I legitimately think it works really well as just a standalone horse adventure magic fantasy. And a tragedy. Apparently. Supposedly. According to my friends who know too much about this fic.

It's going to take a fuck ass while to publish this entire thing, and I talk about it all the time on this blog, but there is so much love put into this fic, and I'm not abandoning it ever, it will be published, mark my word.

So that's essentially a "quick" summary of what the fuck I'm doing over there at the Ao3s. This mentioned like half of the roster, so there are a few more things over there if you're curious. And there's more to come, like a lot more to come.

For example, I'm currently working on two longer HSR fics, one starring Himeko and Pom-Pom, and the other starring Jiaoqiu featuring Bailu and Lingsha. I've also gotten way too into Zenless Zone Zero, and I'm definitely going to write a few fics for that, so far every one of them featuring Nicole. Other than that I have a lot of silly Fire Emblem ideas lying about (most of them related to Awakening, which means more Chromia in particular), and I'm no stranger to just throwing out a fic for the hell of it, so you might even be surprised!

And with that, Manda out, and happy late Ao3 anniversary to me <3

[thelaurenshippen]

Hi Lauren!

I really want to say something so I surely hope that this is not offensive in any way. If it is then feel free to correct me, of course.

I recently started listening to the Give Me Away podcast (which for anyone not in the know is absolutely fantastically written and voice acted and one of the best pieces of audio drama ever) and all of a sudden you're in it! While I listened to your character I was suddenly overcome with how proud of you I am for how far you've come since TBS. I listened along to that as it was released and you're like a whole other person now.

(To be clear I am obviously viewing you from the outside so how I see you could be completely incorrect.)

Maybe I'm overthinking it and it's just the writing for GMA but even seeing your posts on here you're so much more confident now.

Hopefully my rampant over-clarifying for things that may not need clarification to begin with has made me not come across as rude.

Anyway it's been so nice to have you in my life these past (almost) 9 years and I can't wait to see what you do next.

hey!! thank you SO much for this message, it is so so sweet!!! I totally agree about GMA - I think it's one of the best shows out there right now and when they asked me to be a part of season 2 I was OVER the moon!!!!

and it is genuinely really nice to hear that I seem like a totally different, more confident person! I definitely feel that way, so it's wild that it's noticeable from the outside. I was 24 when I started The Bright Sessions (and oh my gosh, I sound SO young in that first season!!!), I'd spent most of the year incredibly ill, and I had no idea what I was doing! now I'm 33, and I've made hundreds of episodes of audio drama and my life is totally transformed as a result of making TBS.

thank you so much for being along for the ride these past 9 years!! it's so special to me to have been a part of each other's lives for that long :)

[amethystina]

For the wipe tag game:

May I inquire about :

The devil's due ( I have been hooked since the first chapter that u posted. It's such an interesting idea with so many possibilities)

The gentle light ( will we get more of yohan's poverty?)

Thank u, and have a nice day 🩵

Thank you so much for the ask!

The Devil's Due

Oh man, this one. I am hooked on this one too, but I keep holding it off because I know it'll be pretty long and it's also going to be pretty, uh, sexually charged? And that intimidates me x'D

But yeah, I LOVE the idea and the possibilities it offers. It's a story that would focus on Ga On and Yo Han's relationship without the power imbalance of them being chief and subordinate. That's to say that Ga On is going to be even feistier than in canon, if you can believe that. And he's going to be more aware of his sexuality and what he actually wants — or who, I guess I should say.

The main plot would really just be Ga On getting to know Yo Han — and Elijah — during different circumstances. And the biggest conflict will be the fire and whether or not Yo Han caused it, plus Yo Han trying to open Ga On's eyes to the corruption in their country. The main portion of the fic would be set a couple of years after the first chapter, and a couple of years before the start of the drama. So they're all a little less jaded and, since the situation is so different — Ga On isn't sent to spy on him, for one — Yo Han won't be as defensive. But he's obviously also going to be, well, Yo Han. He's working as a normal judge, trying not to draw too much attention to himself — biding his time for his revenge, and all that — but he would definitely not mind having some fun with the bright-eyed, reformed delinquent he saved from a life as a criminal.

As a treat.

As with many of my WIPs at the moment, this fic is mostly just a collection of lines of dialogue from various scenes, with no connecting text around them. So there are no complete snippets I can show, but I can say that the first time they do something sexual together it's because Ga On has finally had it with Yo Han's teasing and flirting and just marches into his office — at Yo Han's work, yes — and goes:

Ga On: "Fine. Let's fuck."

Yo Han, after a small pause: "Right now?"

Ga On, very scathingly: "Do you want me to schedule an appointment?"

Yo Han: "You're an absolute delight when you're angry."

There are reasons why Ga On is being so blunt, I want to point out, because he wouldn't usually be. Again: Yo Han and his manipulation tactics.

... and yes, they do have sex right then and there, in Yo Han's office. Which is one of the reasons why I'm afraid to write this. I'm way out of my depth here x'D

But I will continue eventually! I like the story way too much to give up on it :)

The Gentle Light

As for this one, I was kind of shocked to realise that I have a lot more written on chapter 2 than I initially thought. It takes place right after the first chapter, so basically Yo Han's side of the very loaded conversation that takes place during chapter 7. I've just been adding bits and pieces here and there when I've felt like it and now I have almost 4 000 words. Imagine that.

Here's a snippet!

---

Yo Han slowly walked up the steps leading to Kim Ga On's apartment, his hand sliding along the railing. The metal was cold against the mess of scar tissue on his palm, sending a chill up his arm. Yo Han paid that no mind, focusing instead on taking in his surroundings. While he'd known Ga On's address ever since K did the first background check, Yo Han had never actually been to visit before.

There had never been a reason for him to — until now.

As Yo Han finished climbing the first set of stairs, his gaze swept briefly over the terrace to his left, then flicked upward, toward the rooftop. There was apparently another terrace up there, but it was dark for the time being and therefore not of much interest to Yo Han.

Instead, he turned and looked out at the surrounding buildings. The neighborhood was as run-down as he'd expected, debris littering the streets and the majority of the buildings in desperate need of repairs — some even looked abandoned. Or perhaps the owners had simply given up, choosing to huddle inside the dark, decrepit shells of what used to be their homes, waiting for the end to come. That seemed common in these parts, where unemployment and hopelessness blanketed every house and street corner, sucking the life out of those few remaining.

Yo Han could tell it hadn't always been that way, though. There were glimpses of a once lively neighborhood hiding underneath the grime and despair, the descent probably having happened slowly over time as the economy kept getting worse and worse — money getting tighter and tighter. And, eventually, whether they wanted to or not, the people had no choice but to give in.

It made sense, Yo Han supposed, for Kim Ga On to have grown up in a place like this, where he'd had to watch what he once knew wither away and fall into disrepair in front of his very eyes.

That deeply rooted disdain for the rich must have come from somewhere, after all.

---

A lot of what I have so far is basically just Yo Han sauntering around in front of Ga On's apartment, observing things and drawing conclusions about Ga On. It's kind of adorable in it's own way xD But things obviously take a very dramatic turn once Ga On shows up, some of which I've shown before in snippets that you can find here.

I can't promise I'll ever post this, though, since I'd obviously have to finish it first and this is very far down on my list of priorities right now. But we'll see, I guess? If I keep chipping away at it one piece at a time, eventually it will be finished.

I hope you like it! And you have a nice day, too 💜

WIP Tag Game

[theclearblue]

Is it bad that I feel personally victimised by WCI or am I just being dramatic?

I don't think so anon, I think the themes of family in WCI are some of the most personal and nuanced Oda has ever done and while tragic in so many ways, I think results in the best way of conveying how powerful found family is but also how someone can have complicated feelings towards their blood family.

Throughout all of One Piece, you can see this through line of found family and how blood relations isn't what matters in who you consider family (The ASL brothers, Bellemere and Nojiko for Nami, Kuina for Zoro, Zeff for Sanji, Saul for Robin, Tom and Iceburg for Franky, and while not a strawhat, Corazon and Law deeply affected me as well). This is obviously a trope Oda has liked writing for a long time and one he does well, but (with somewhat the exception of Marineford/Post-War arc with Whitebeard and Ace), WCI is the first time he really dives into these themes of what family is, and what I really appreciated, how messy it can be.

(I uhhh wrote a lot after the cut so be prepared for that)

And it's not just Sanji in this arc (I'll get to him though don't worry), from Germa, from the Big Mom Pirates, and the Firetank Pirates, so many characters are acting as narrative foils to Sanji and dealing with family related trauma, and responding to it differently. The ones that really got me were Pudding and Katakuri though, and they're pretty similar to each other as well. I've talked a little bit about Pudding already here so I'll talk a bit more about Katakuri instead, but it hit me really hard when he made a temple for himself, and he lets the rumors fly about "his back has never touched the ground, he's praying to a god of war, no one has seen him eat" and it's just. Him laying on his back, eating donuts happily. And the scene is kind of silly and funny right, but I kid you not my New Year's resolution this year was to just, try to be more comfortable in my living room/kitchen without thinking everyone is going to judge me for, what? Eating? Watching a show I like? Completely normal things, but if you've ever grown up in a house where just, EVERYTHING you do is picked apart and criticized by family, it's easier to just shut yourself away in a room and hide it. And isn't that tragic? Katakuri projecting this image of strength that his family asks of him so much that he feels he has to hide completely normal things like lying down and eating? I could go even deeper into this character but this is just one example of a character's complicated relationship with his family, where he hides so much of himself for them, but also it stemming from a place of love after what happened to Brulee when they were kids.

And now to talk about Sanji. Ohhhh where do I even start with this guy. As kind of a sidenote, if you've seen any of my posts from Thriller Bark through Punk Hazard, I was really struggling to like Sanji as a character and I didn't make that a secret. Which was upsetting to me because, from Baratie-Enies Lobby (and really good moments at the end of Thriller Bark and Saoboady) he was a favorite of mine! And at times I thought his character was done pretty dirty where he was stripped down to a singular gag and Oda leaned into it way way way too hard. But it's immensely satisfying to me to see all the little seeds Oda planted for so many years come to fruition in Zou and WCI, to the point I think he's turned from being the most one note strawhat to the most nuanced and layered in the span of a singular saga. And that was incredible to see.

I think what really captivated me about Sanji from the beginning were how strong and rigid his convictions are, and that even though he's kind of a rude brat (I say that with love lol), he's so undeniably kind, even to a fault. And with his first backstory we see how a lot of his rigid rules he's made for himself come from, it's from Zeff. He doesn't hit women, he'll feed anyone who's hungry no matter what, and he learns to fight to protect people he cares about, but he isn't really a fighter in the same way Luffy and Zoro are, and that's made clear in his desire to protect his hands in a fight so that he can do what he really loves, and that's to cook. A lot of what makes Sanji who he is today is shown here, but Oda was smart in showing aspects of Sanji that clearly don't stem from Zeff without telling the audience why for the longest time.

He shares the dream of the All Blue with Zeff, but where did it come from? Zeff is kind of similar where he has this hard exterior but underneath is kind as well, but it's taken to another level with Sanji where it becomes self sacrificial. Throwing himself down the mountain on Drum Island, taking the lightning bolts from Enel for Nami and Usopp on Skypeia, boarding the water train alone to try and get to Robin, and most prominently, at least for me, him trying to take Luffy's pain at the end of Thriller Bark instead of Zoro, where he very clearly places more value on Zoro's dream and life than his own. That was the moment to me that made me really realize he does not see value in himself, unless he's providing something he deems useful. And if the situation calls for it, he'll throw his life and dream away if that makes him "useful" not realizing that the crew don't see him as this dispensable thing like he sees himself.

And all of Sanji's strengths and flaws as a character just come to make this perfect storm and mess that is Whole Cake Island. And the kindness that is Sanji's most definitive trait is so clearly not in this family, at least not seen at first. His brothers are made to have no zero empathy and beat down on him constantly, verbally and physically, and Judge just watches and doesn't care, eventually just hides Sanji in a cell and pretends he's dead. Because he was physically weaker and human. And yet he continues to cook because he loves doing it, he remembers his mother's kindness, and his dream of the all blue is formed in a small dark room and just. This got to me big time. Not to get too personal but the set of expectations put onto Sanji by his family, ones he can never live up to and finding passion in something his family finds to be worthless and a waste of time. Finding an escape in books and finding his dream there even though everything around him is hell. Slowly realizing the extent of cruelty that his father will go to as he grows up. Very unfortunately for me this might be the most relatable character I have ever come across in regards to my own experiences. I'm someone to voice my thoughts on things even if nobody else cares (hence why I've been liveblogging on here since Drum Island I think lmao) but while watching Sanji's backstory it affected me like nothing else ever has. It's not even something that made me cry really, I was just in shock after watching it for awhile. And Reiju saying to Sanji, "There are people out there who will accept you for who you are, you need to get out of here" which is so similar to what Saul said to Robin and even similar to what one of my sisters said to me growing up. Yeah. I also felt personally victimized by Whole Cake Island lmao.

But the end result of Sanji's arc is so beautiful and amazing. Sanji putting on this act of looking down on Luffy, and once again trying to sacrifice himself to protect those that he cares about, but Luffy just cuts through the bullshit because he knows that isn't really Sanji talking in that fight. Luffy's speech as Sanji is being driven away where he says that he can't become the pirate king without him by his side. This isn't an original thought but Sanji and Zoro both kind of represent different aspects of Luffy's dreams. Zoro with a seemingly impossible ideal and putting 100% of yourself into it. "I will become the greatest swordsman." "I will become the pirate king." But Sanji's dream of finding the All Blue reflects Luffy's dream of finding the One Piece. They both don't know if either of those things are even real (the audience at this point knows the one piece is real, but to my knowledge and where I'm at, Luffy doesn't). Yet there's this childlike wonder they both have about these dreams, because, what if it is real? Luffy knows that Sanji is irreplaceable because of the ideals that they share, not because of what Sanji can provide or be "useful" as.

It takes so much for Sanji to go running back to Luffy, and even when he does, he obviously gets insecure again and starts listing off reasons why he isn't worthy enough to go back to the Sunny and to the crew. And God is it satisfying to see Luffy absolutely rock his shit for saying that and asking him to just SAY what he really wants. And Sanji breaking down and saying how much he misses the Sunny and the crew and also airing out how he feels backed into a corner and doesn't know the way out, that he wants to help his family even though he doesn't consider them family and he KNOWS it doesn't make sense, he is being kind to a fault again. But Luffy smiling at him and saying "Well, that's just how you are. Let's go crash the wedding." That's when I started sobbing lmao, because there is such unconditional love and kindness in that statement that Sanji has so desperately needed ever since his mother died. Someone who just accepts him and all his faults wholeheartedly, and is that not the most beautiful representation of family??? His relationship with his blood family is so messy and complicated and full of mixed feelings(and that's very common), but his feelings about Zeff and Luffy and the rest of the strawhats are so clearly full of adoration and unconditional love for them, and they feel that same love for him as well! How lucky all of them are where they found their people, and how everyone else in this world has that opportunity to find the space and people they truly belong to, not tied down by blood. Whole Cake Island's themes on family were so well done and also fundamentally changed me as a person I think.

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

Holy shit!!! Holy shit holy shit holy shit!!!

Holy fuck!!! Your Kieran Don't Let Me Love You fic!!! Aaaaaaaaah!!! It's so good!!! It so so intoxicatingly delicious!! I'm apologizing in advance for what a wall of text this probably will be and purely consist of me yapping

I spent like easily 2??? 3??? 2 and a half??? Hours just to read the whole thing. It's just so incredibly overwhelming in the best way possible! The way you describe the actions. The descriptions. The emotions. The thoughts!!! I actually took multiple a few minutes break during the time reading it, because it felt like my soul was enveloped in the narrative and I needed to breathe for a second!!

I've been thirsting over the twins this whole day, and Luke is actually the more favorable one for me but gosh your fic turned me into a new woman, NOW I TRULY LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY. KIERAN!!! Can't possibly agree more that the premise was fitting to Kieran like it was meant to be. You did an incredible job.

Being the quiet of the two, I really felt the amount of conversations were minimal- but meaningful, every single one of them. It fits him so much, I love the flow of conversations you wrote between the two. You have such a refined way of writing!! It's the ultimate mix of both poetic but easy to swallow for the common folk, it's wonderful harmony.

The pet names were everything. Every single one of them!! But personally, there's just something about being called angel by this guy who wears devil horns as his daily outfit that stirs me up so much. S i g h. I'm whipped.

The sexual tension on the flashback of the first time???? HOOOOO BOY LORD HAVE MERCY. I WOULD NEVER NOT SUCCUMB TO THAT. Such a tease. Delicious tease. I'm in tears. Good tears. I just love how all the boys here definitely can effortlessly carry us around and definitely always make us look up with their tall height. I love how the mention of Sylus visibly stirs some kind of reaction to him and how quick but desperate the whole thing was. That commending voice??? Sign me the fuck up. Please. Pretty please. I'm a putty at this point

Rules are the best. Because rules are meant to be broken. That delicious conflicting feeling of doing something should not be done!! You describe it perfectly and beautifully.

I really love how you imagine him being the closer of the two to Sylus, and it just makes sense so much in my brain?? Like, that's why he's so unaware of most outside things, since he was satisfied to just dedicate and stayed loyal to the boss.

Okay now this part is completely my delusion from your fic, and you might skip this if you don't like the thoughts of someone expanding the premise by themselves which I'll completely respect, but I imagined that- at least Luke had noticed before that fated day. Being twins and seemingly inseparable since little, I don't think there's any way either of them could keep a complete secret to each other. The other will notice. So! My personal delusion for this bit is, that Luke had noticed for a while. How Kieran gazes at her was always a second too long, the little things and gestures he believes his brother usually doesn't do for a single girl, and how sometimes his brother was just a little too immersed with whatever he was thinking, and how it felt different than any time before. But he kept quiet about it, obviously. Since Kieran wants to hide it, and Kieran might've got the feeling his brother had already realized from who knows when as well. But out of respect for each other, neither of them ever brought that up. Buuuuuut, Luke noticed the feelings and affection has grown, unbearably big. So he decided to finally confront Kieran about it, maybe saying a piece or two of his thoughts about it. Warning him, or something. And that's what spurs Kieran desperation and conflict that day. He had been mulling it over ever since his brother actually says something verbally to him about it, and at that point he must've tried to deny how fucked he is by then.

Aaaaaaand I also imagined depending whether both Sylus or only Luke have known, Luke would back them up about that day. Coming up with excuses and such, naturally. Either that, or both Sylus and Luke agrees that 'it took them long enough' (s i g h this'll be delicious angst as well depending if Sylus and Luke actually also have feelings for her) with or without this part of my delusion though, I loved the fic as a whole so so so much!

Okay, back to the actual fic. Let me just say i have a thing about good girl and it ascended me to heavens. Your Kieran has driven me crazy-- The depictions of how different he was acting that day was so good!!! And I really loved the repeating narratives, like Quiet, obedient, dutiful Kieran or Don't let me love you or There's no going back. Each one of them are so lovingly beautiful!!

His pleas! The urgency in his voice!! In his action!! The desperation!! Aaah you wrote all of them so well, I actually kept scrolling back up and rereading the lines and description while still reading it because it's just so so so good. And let's not forget the domineering overpowering attitude.... I'm melting...

I really love the switch between the frantic desperation of the first part to the soft loving gentle need after we finally saw Kieran's face. And may I mention I think the fact you're able to describe him and all his emotions and expression so well while deliberately opting out any actual description of his visual is???? Such?? A genius?? Move?? His action, his touch, his face, his expression, I can imagine it all clearly thanks to your amazing writing, and yet I can freely imagine the actual face according to my own imagination! I think that was such a skillful bit.

I really love the moment of vulnerability between the two, how both of them had each of their own time where they finally broke down in tears. Aaaaah such a good narrative.

AND THE PART WHERE HE CALLED OUR NAME???? AAAAAAAAH DELICIOUS!! BEAUTIFUL!!! BRAVO!!!! I love it so much!! I always favor 2nd person pov fics where there never was actual dialogue calling out the name with Y/N- not that there's anything wrong with it other than my preference, but description of it always appeal me more. So thank you for feeding me in that aspect! Aaah! I'm in love!

The bits of how slow the walls slowly crumble, how even after meeting eye to eye he tried so hard to restrain himself, I love it so much. It felt necessary and shows just how much thin the ice they were threading were. I'm s o l d.

The cockiness of his tease on the Miss Hunter shenanigans??? And yet followed suit with his genuine apology afterward??? Have I said I'm melting?? Because ugh it's such a good pacing.

When all restraints finally let loose and the fervent intense adoration came back into action!! It's so beautiful!! And gosh the confession. The confession. Couldn't have worded it any better... I like that he was the one to confess first and how we broke down from him, as it was always ambiguous more on our side than him- because he had always been able to see us through, but he always put on a mask- literally and figuratively. And I think it's just so so so beautiful.

I loved the ending line!!! As well as the little ramble you wrote afterward <3 can't agree more!! I'm definitely interested to read luke x kieran recommendation you linked at the end... But for now I've got things to do so I'll keep it for now!

Phew, it's really a lot of text. TLDR, I'm in love with your Kieran fic thank you so much I love your writing style so much. Thank you!

AHHH ANONIE 😭😭😭😭😭 i have reread this so many times bc this is so so so so incredibly sweet i'm so floored 🥺 and so honired 🥺 that you could have this much thoughts on something ive written... aaahh my heart's fluttering fr, anonie you've made me so happy 😭 esp knowing that you were able to picture kieran's face without the descriptors? that was super challenging to me but i'm sososososososo happy it came across well 😭🤍

FUN FACT i actually had part of this draft cut out! an entire scene where reader runs into luke while looking for kieran, and then subsequently realizes that luke knows ... so he's like, the push that gets both of them to realize they're not just fuck buddies (a la "we're just friends..." "sure, and friends do that" vibes) HAJDKAKFJA IT WAS A WHOLE THING. THE FIC REALLY COULD'VE BEEN LONGER. but i decided 7k words was enough 😭��

but overall i agree with you!!!! i was def biased towards luke at first, but writing this totally had me leaning more towards kieran <3 desperation and conflic with internal emotions or othereise co flict between duty and emotions is my FAVORITE to write, and kieran's character is SO fun to play with, esp with him being the younger of the two! he's surprisingly complex and i loved getting into the intricacies, i'm so glad that was conveyed hehe 🥰 you might be interested in the little analysis i had on kieran's character here !!! <3

THANK YOU again anonie 🥺 i wish i had the words to actually say how grateful i am for this because it's just so incredibly sweet 😭 know that i'm cradling you in my arms!!!

[queerofthedagger]

Got any Merlin fic recs? Any pairing will do!

Yesss absolutely do I have recs!! Imma list you a couple of my all-time favourite fics, but you can also check my fic rec tag, or my ao3 bookmark recs for merlin for more (or send me another ask, I should do more recs anyway tbqh!)

For all listed authors I can say with certainty that all their fics are absolute bangers so that's also a good place to look for more. I tried to keep the recs on the shorter side, but if you (or anyone really) wants more recs, feel free to hit me up with more specifics too!! (It might just take me a while sometimes…) Hope there's something in here for you <3

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World Enough and Time by alicephantomwise [Merthur | 18k | E | ccntuaw]

Tags: Modern AU | Spies & Assassins | Violence | Angst with a Happy Ending | Pining Arthur | Not Actually Unrequited Love | World Travel

Summary:

Arthur had had it all figured out. And then Merlin shot him in Beijing.

Notes: This is my all-time favourite Merlin fic, which is saying something because I'm usually more of a canon-era girlie. It rewired my entire brain chemistry though and I don't think there is any piece of literature that I've re-read as many times as this goddamn fic. Just. jesus fucking christ

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The King and His Sorcerer by alicephantomwise [Merthur | 1,5k | G/A | MCD]

Tags: Canon Era | Angst | Prose | Epistolary | Ambigous/Hopeful Ending

Summary:

But lest you forget, this is not a fairytale.

Notes: Same author. I would pay all my money, my first born, and probably half my family for them to return to fandom, I'm not joking. Just something about their writing that completely eviscerates me.

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Onfidan by astolat [Merthur | 15k | M | no warnings]

Tags: Canon Era | Magic Revealed | Battle Couple | Monsters and Mythical Beings | Merlin's magic loves Arthur

Summary:

Arthur didn't speak to him for a week after he found out.

Notes: Look, if anyone ever was a classic for a reason, it's astolat, no contest. All her fics are absolute bangers, obviously, but I have just such a soft spot for Merlin & Arthur hunting monsters and fighting side by side, and this one simply delivers on all fronts no matter how often you read it.

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Tintagel by seperis [Merthur, Ygraine/Nimueh | 20k | E | ccntuaw]

Tags: mental coercion | magic reveal

Summary:

They would pay any price that was asked, Nimueh whispered at the end, trembling with exhaustion, desperate, pleading, anything, anything at all. Just give her this child. Give her the son he stole from her.

Notes: This fic is single-handedly responsible for all of my absolute unwellness over Ygraine, and if you've been here for a while you know that that's a lot. Seperis is generally an absolute gem of an author though, and I can't rec all of their stuff enough!!

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Winning the Battle by @prattery [Merthur | 5,5k | T+ | no warnings]

Tags: Canon Era | Arthur Pendragon Lives | Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day | Arthur knows about merlin's magic | angst with a happy ending

Summary:

This husk of a man wears Merlin’s face and has Merlin’s magic, but he’s not Merlin. Merlin’s gone. Albion has claimed him as the price for Arthur’s victory at the battlefield.

Notes: This fic fundamentally changed me as a person, like, woah. I don't know what to say about this except, I love angst, from the bottom of my heart, but I've had the sequel on my tbr for over a year and I am, hands-down, terrified of it. It has a happy ending!! But christ, the angst. Her writing in general is an absolute gift which is not at all why I jumped at the first chance to bother her about it lmao, so like, recs for all of her stuff - 100/10 would recommend, just bring some tissues.

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this graveyard of forgotten love by @atlantablack [Morgwen | M | 11,8k | ccntuaw]

Tags: The Dark Tower AU | BAMF Gwen | Unhealthy Relationships | Gwen has Magic | Unreliable Narrator | Angst with a Hopeful Ending

Summary:

Gwen has never fully managed to shake her love for the lady who had once sworn to keep her safe. Now locked in a tower by that same lady, she must face a truth she's long kept buried (even from herself). An exploration of grief, anger, and the inability to let go of someone you once loved (even when you should).

Notes: If you want some stellar morgwen angst, atlanta's fics are the way to go; she single-handedly dragged me into the pairing, and I've been stuck here ever since, much to her joy and regret, so !! Also morgwen aside, if you like your Gwen with some goddamn agency, she got you <3

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Deluge by Suaine [Merthur | 50k | M | no warnings]

Tags: Canon Era | Post-Season 1 | Magic Revealed | Arthur knows about Merlin's magic | Quests & Curses | Coup

Summary:

In the aftermath of Merlin's battle against Nimueh, the rain seems a minor complication, perhaps even a cleansing influence. When the rain doesn't stop, Camelot is pushed to the brink once more. This time, Arthur may be in over his head. Contains: a lot of wet boys in emotional scenes, Arthur knowing more than he lets on, Merlin being an idiot, both of them being a bit stupidly heroic, telepathic chess, rain (lots of), war, making out against a tree, coincidental druids, co-opted history, co-opted myths, magic, coming of age (metaphorically), and more magically annoying yet surprisingly un-floody water than you can shake a stick at.

Notes: This is such an insanely good, insanely underrated fic! The vibe of it is just really specific in a way I can't really explain, the plot is super unique and intriguing, and the writing is an absolute gem. Also I'm just a sucker for a good characterization of Arthur and ohhh boy does this one deliver.

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Tiercel by waldorph [Merthur | 6k | Mature | ccntuaw]

Tags: Canon Era | Magic Revealed | First Time | Myth & Legends

Summary:

Arthur is constantly at war.

Notes: This is one of the most stunning pieces of writing I've come across in A While honestly, and I love love love how it kind of makes the show feel like a legend - I don't know if that makes sense tbh, but like, I think it does once you read it. Just, absolutely insane story-telling tbh.

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Right Back Where I Began by giselleslash [Merthur | 4k | M | Underage (both characters)]

Tags: Childhood Friends | Friends with Benefits | Oblivious!Merlin | Pining!Arthur | Merlin/Others | Arthur/Others | Fluff

Summary:

Arthur and Merlin are friends, and each others go to for the in between times, but maybe they were together all along.

Notes: The only other modern au on this list, but SO deserved - I love tropes that get flipped a bit, so oblivious!Merlin is already a win in my book, but then there's just... I don't want to give away too much, but there is something so damn special about the resolution of this fic, it makes me want to cry every single time. Like. god. the love, it's all about the unconditional love, at the end of the day! mwah!!!

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Good to Eat a Thousand Years by ghosttopiary [Merthur | 2,5k | M | ccntuaw]

Tags: Canon Era | Tenderness | Getting Together | Vignette

Summary:

He kisses his lover on the nape of his neck and thinks this is why men go to war. A shameful thought.

Notes: This is also pretty short, but on god this fic does something to me every time I read it, the vibe of it is just so specific and absolutely breath-taking.

[m1edemafc]

blog navigation!

heya, thanks for stopping by my blog! i mostly made this because interacting on ao3 is a bit of a pain sometimes, and it's easier for me to take prompts/requests/questions on tumblr.

i'm so happy to take requests, so feel free to drop any prompts or requests! i'm not inherently opposed to writing anything, but forewarning, i hate every piece of smut i've ever written so it's highly unlikely that i'll publish anything with substantial smut. not ruling it out completely but it's just ~very~ unlikely.

these are my current works, you can find them all on ao3! unless it's a headcannon, my work will only ever be published on ao3. sorry to all the tumblr fic readers out there, but i promise ao3 is fairly easy to navigate even as a guest.

masterlist:

lucy bronze/ona battle

all these people think love's for show, but i'd die for you in secret

tags: established relationship, fluff, domestic fluff, karaoke

status: work in progress, eight chapters

jana fernández/jill roord

my heart has been split open (you see everything i'm hoping)

tags: hurt/comfort, acl injury, angst, fluff

status: coming soon, one shot

keira walsh/laura feiersinger

i just want to know you better (know you better now)

tags: 5+1 things, situationship, getting together, kind of a slow burn?

status: complete, one shot

mapi león/ingrid engen

let our hearts be the only sound

tags: established relationship, proposal, fluff

status: complete, one shot

alexia putellas/jenni hermoso

you'll find that you were never not mine

series: inked on my soul

tags: alternate universe, tattoo artist jenni, footballer alexia, getting back together, jealousy 

status: complete, one shot

fc barcelona femení

bilbao is one hell of a drug

tags: uefa womens champions league, winning

status: complete, seven chapters

alessia russo/leah williamson

hearts collide, souls intertwine

series: country girls universe

tags: kid fic, forced roommates, getting together, potential slow burn (i haven't decided)

status: coming soon

the way the moonlight dances in your eyes

series: country girls universe

tags: kidfic, fluff, literally just fluff, new kit pics!!

status: one shot, complete

caroline graham hansen/marta torrejón

forever is in your eyes

tags: kid fic, post retirement, marriage, domestic fluff

status: coming soon, one shot collection

a little about me:

i'm a 23 year old gemini vegetarian from australia! i've been an arsenal fan (both women and men) for quite a while now, but recently become a barca femeni fan. obviously being australian, i am a huge huge fan of the matildas (less so a socceroos fan tho, but up the boys).

although i love football, i am the least coordinated person and have not ever played football outside of pe lessons in school. i grew up as a competitive swimmer before i quit when i was 16 and i also played a few seasons of club netball during high school (i was not that great). i mostly am a pilates girlie now, but also have decided to start running this year and am running my first 14k race in august (please cross your fingers that i make it out alive).

although i've been an avid fic reader for over a decade across quite a few fandoms, i only started writing fic this year. that mostly happened because i've been on somewhat of a sabbatical for the past few months, and am not currently in uni or working so i've finally had time to actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) on all the words that have been floating around in my brain.

in saying that, my self declared sabbatical will be ending in july so i cannot promise any consistency around posting. i don't mind some gentle pushing but please keep in mind i usually take a full time course load at uni, work two jobs and also have a social life, friends, family and also a whole host of health problems so sometimes my life gets a bit too out of hand and it kinda is out of my control.

i really am trying to enter my era of a healthy work-life balance though, so i'm hoping we won't reach the same level of chaos that my life previously has been.

anyways, if you have made it to this point, you are a real trooper and thanks for reading through my rambles!

:))

[quohotos]

Thoughts about bonds/bonding

This was something I was already planning to write up but then the latest return to regalia episode opened the flood gates and filled in some missing pieces for me. What follows is my own educated guesses and headcannon, very little of this is explicitly in the text of the books. Understand that much of this is my own headcannon, though I'll try my best to justify it with the text.

(also note that since I was an audio book kid I don't actually know if it's spelled flyer or flier and I'm going to get it wrong more than once and you're just going to have to live with that)

Luxa says that it wasn't normal for her to bond with Aurora so early, but that an exception was made as almost a form of therapy after the death of her parents. The same exception was made for Hazard and Thalia. We aren't explicitly told how old Henry was when he bonded with Ares, but I'm assuming it was before adulthood given how all four of them (Luxa, Henry, Ares, and Arora) have a storied history before the events of the first book. Henry had to be younger than 16 when they bonded (16 being the age of legal maturity in the underland, will amend if I'm misremembering), which isn't surprising given that he's Henry and he's never played by the rules. This raises the question of the bats' ages... we aren't ever told that. I would assume that the bats are of similar ages to their bonds, but I have no evidence to back that up.

In the Marks of Secret Ripred explains that rats grow up incredibly fast and reach full maturity in about a year, and that humans are uncommon in how long they take to grow up. It's not clear how long the bats take to grow up. Would Thalia have become an adult while Hazard was still a little kid, or would they have grown up concurrently? I can't say either way. One thing I can say with more confidence is that regardless of their ages, Aurora and Ares probably see their respective bonds like younger siblings. Obviously, being bonded to someone is a completely different relationship that we can't exactly map onto what we have in the overland, but I think that's a close approximation.

So Why and How do regular people get bonded?

The most surefire way to get bonded would be to join the military (something you can do from a very young age... I mean they have armor on hand for 12 year olds and we see seven year olds doing military drills in the Prophecy of Bane... yaaaaay). In the military you will be assigned to mixed species units and it's just sort of assumed that they'll all end up pairing up and bonding.

For civilians there are likely special yearly festivals that the two kingdoms share with the express purpose of giving people a chance to find bonds. My guess would be right around the time of the harvest when there's plentiful food to go around. After a hard year a bunch of flyers come to regalia and everyone has a big party to celebrate. There are probably specially organized games of whatever sport Gregor walked in on back in the first book. While specific flyers are probably scouted for sports and more importantly the military there's still plenty of opportunities for common Regalian and flyers to interact and meet.

What does bonding do for a flyer?

We see so much of the Underland Chronicles from the point of view of royal humans. To them, the benefits are obvious. Humans can't fly, bonding gives them access to someone who can. But why would a flier seek out a human bond? That just sounds like an obligation, right?

The Regalians have incredibly advanced medical technology. I've roasted them before for their metalworking, but their chemistry/biotech is unparalleled. They're able to produce antibiotics, as well as synthesize plagues and their cures. They have ways of treating illnesses that the overland doctors (allegedly) cannot. We also see that they have incredibly reliable and safe oral administered sedatives. Anesthesiology is such and advanced and risky field, and they seem to have cracked it to the point where people can safely be sedated for trivial maters without anyone batting an eye.

The arrival of humans (as permanent residents, native people made limited journeys to there before the arrival of Sandwich) in the Underland definitely raised everyone's average life expectancy by decades... before lowering it immediately afterwards through endless wars. In Curse of the Warmbloods someone steals the pain killers and Gregor realizes that the rats couldn't even use it if they wanted to because they don't have hands to open the bottle. Much of the Regalian's medical technology still requires a human to administer it. You need humans to carve splints and set them, you need humans to administer injections, you need humans to cut hair and perform surgery. Spinners can do some things to stop bleeding, but any significantly complex medical procedure is going to need human hands involved. Think about things like glasses and prosthetics, things we don't normally associate as medicine but would still kinda are. Humans probably manufacture and prescribe bat-glasses.

For a flyer, traveling long distances without a human bond is incredibly risky. If something bad happens, even if you have other flyers with you, you could die from what would otherwise be preventable causes. Bitten by mites? Who's going to apply the the ointment? Wing dislocated, who's going to pop it back into place (this one literally happened to Aurora). There are also probably some foods that can't safely be eaten raw, but a human could prepare. Heck, a human can boil water to purify it, or place traps that catch pray that otherwise wouldn't be hunt-able. Humans can catch fish that live too deep in the water for a flyer to peruse. Humans are adaptable. Your bond is your Swiss army knife, adaptable and versatile even if sometimes fragile.

Any flier trying to pursue and education needs to be bonded. You wanna go to bat-college? You gotta bring a human. You'll need one to transcribe all your essays and help you read books. The fliers definitely have a rich oral history that they all maintain, but there are some things that you just need a human to access. The average flier probably doesn't have a bond, but the higher in status definitely do for the educational purposes alone. While the queen herself doesn't have a bond, in fact it seems almost frowned upon in the royal family (Nike doesn't have one despite getting very close to a human who would like to bond with her in the later books), you bet your ass that every middle manager and local bat official has a bond who takes care of paperwork and accounting.

It's a funny parallel how flyers of low status like Ares can suddenly be whisked into royalty by being bonded to Henry, the same thing probably happens to humans. You could be Joe Shmo nobody (or I guess this is the underland so Joeth Shmavetus) who would probably live out their whole life carving stone jars, but you do numbers good so the bat-secretary of bat-state bonds with you and now you're really important.

That means that there are probably lots of places within the flyers lands that are built specifically to house humans long term. We see a little bit of that in the first book, but there's probably a lot more out of sight. Special areas where an important fliers' bonds can live and do their taxes and whatnot.

Bonding is usually an egalitarian process. It seems like both sides and both factions have to consent to it. When Gregor insinuates that one side owns the other he gets massive push-back. With that being said, I'm almost certain that Ares had little control in the matter over bonding with Henry. I think there's kind of an unstated rule that the royal families are going to bond with whoever they please, and that turning down a bond of high status would be a massive faux pas. Ares probably didn't feel like saying no was even on the table.

What about non-flyer bonds?

Oh yeah, code of claw spoilers beyond this point. Now that everyone's doing the reread and we're probably bringing a few first time readers into the fold I'm going to spoiler mark this part just in case since I'll be discussing things that happen in the last installment

Luxa and Ripred bond to usher in peace. This is treated as something that has never happened before but that the rules don't explicitly forbid. Henry jokes about people bonding to the crawlers, but in a way that portrays it as stupid and pathetic rather than impossible. In doing so she also symbolically brings the Gnawer into the spiritual fold that the flyers and humans already share.

Humans and Gnawers would then be allowed to bond with each-other. It might take generations for that to happen in earnest, sicne both sides have so much trauma and resentment built up, but maybe decades in the future the younger generations will find it in themselves to do so.

The fact that Luxa bonding with Ripred doesn't break her bond with Aurora sets the precident that you can bond with as many people as you want so long as you never have two of one species. I do not think Aurora is that happy about that, and I doubt she sees Ripred as her own bond. It's possible though, that in the future you could have big groups of underlanders who are all united by one bond. A whole bad batch rogues gallery of a flyer, a gnawer, a human, and a nibbler who each bring something special to the group.

Though never explicitly stated, I think it probably goes without saying that Hamnet and Frill were bonds. It definitely wasn't done the proper way, probably just informally in the jungle with nobody else observing, but still. A bond is a bond.

[that-ari-blogger]

The Body Swap Episode

So, Once Upon A Swap has what might be called a "reputation" amongst the fandom. When the episode came out, the reception was average, with the immediate recognition that it was a filler episode. However, as time as gone on, more and more think pieces have sprung up discussing this as "the worst episode" or "the weakest episode".

What is my opinion? Well, this isn't my favourite episode, but it isn't my least favourite either.

I am also a contrarian by nature, so I'm going to attempt to argue that this episode has strengths and try to explain what those are and the effect they have on the series as a whole. Specifically, this episode shows character flaws and strengths under pressure.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First up, art is subjective, there is no such thing as a "bad piece of television". Yes, expertise of craft is a thing, but that isn't synonymous with the creation itself being "good", because again, art is subjective. The best series or episode is the series or episode that you, personally, liked the most.

Anyway...

This episode is centred around the gimmick of the body swap. TV Tropes calls this a "Freaky Friday Flip", and it is a fairly stock episode of a series. Certain series take it further (There's a character in One Piece for whom this is almost their entire shtick), but that isn't the point. The point is that this is an episode used to highlight character.

As in, this is giving at least one character an insight into the life of another, and showing that insight to the audience as they follow along. It also shows the character who's mind we are following as they react to unusual situations and usually to a loss of abilities that they would usually rely on.

(Also as a note, i will be referring to the characters by their mind, not their body, if that makes sense. This episode is confusing to write about)

For example, Eda's adventure shows the perils of being King, and shows how Eda responds to not being able to cast magic (I wonder if that will ever come up again). While the perils of this episode are mostly a bit shallow in my opinion, the problem solving isn't.

We see Eda's flaws, and how like King she really is. Eda has an ego just as big as her son, and despite acknowledging the obvious warning bells of her plot, she is tricked by a simple compliment. We see that, although she is unconditionally one of the series' mentour characters, she is anything but wise.

Meanwhile King wears his flaws on his sleeves. You could say that Luz and Eda do too, but King does it the most obviously. He is ambitious, and, to put it bluntly, delusional. He seeks fame and adoration, so naturally he finds it in this episode, but is completely unprepared for it to go sour as being special as a teenager ain't all it's cracked up to be. However, we also see the sheer force of personality King is throwing around. Eloquence and charisma aren't the same thing. Bellos is eloquent, King is charismatic.

Case and point: Even when everything is going badly for him, King always has something to say to shrug it off and get under Bosha's skin.

Finally, there is Luz, and Eda's problems. First up, this is the first of only a few times we get to see Luz cast "real magic". As in, not from a glyph. And although she isn't as proficient as Eda, most likely due to a lack of experience, she revels in the power. You could even say that she relies on it above all else. Luz is a character chasing fantasies, and this is one that has almost literally fallen from the sky in front of her.

But Eda's life does have drawbacks. Eda is on the run, and we see how Luz handles that. Badly. The reason the emperor's coven is such a threat to Eda is because it's not a problem she can throw magic at until it goes away. Luz doesn't quite get that, she instead runs on TTRPG-character-after-a-power-up energy and tries to use it at every situation.

But Luz isn't without her own strengths. I've said elsewhere that Luz isn't especially powerful, and I stand by that. What she has instead is a tactical mind, and that mind carries over to this situation. Here, instead of a strategising, we see that mind learn incredibly quickly. Yes, she gets lucky, but she also picks up on some things, notably a little bit of the background between Eda, Lilith, and the Emperor's Coven itself.

Essentially, this comes back to what I have said in earlier posts. The Owl House uses archetypal storytelling masterfully. It shows characters as tropes first, then shows the nuances of their characterisation as you get closer to them and understand more. In this episode, Luz, King, and Eda can only see the tropes that their companions fit into, and only after living their lives for a while can they comprehend the complexity.

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