#it's still filthy but with feelings
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Me: The Penthouse Smut™ is gonna be all filth
Also me:
#helena rants#i made it intimate okay#sue me#it's still filthy but with feelings#also it's unedited so forgive my grammar and clunky sentences#robert bob floyd x oc#bob floyd x oc#mob boss bob#otp: mbb x abby#mbb sneak peeks#mbb musings
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you see price sitting like this when you walk into a room post mission- and you know exactly what it is he needs.
he's licking at you and holding your thighs open with his rough palms- and you can't take it. his calluses and his beard and the fabric of his sleeves are rubbing at your legs just right- but not enough for you to lose focus on his hot tongue rubbing on you and in you and you've never been wetter in your LIFE.
his only problem? you're still moving too much. he can't reach where he wants to inside of you because you keep wiggling out of his way. his hands want to touch you everywhere- not just hold your thighs still. this is when he begins to squeeze at you everywhere, and tell you to rest your thighs on his shoulders.
"b-but price- hhnngh ohmygod- i c-can't. they're too big. thighs are too big"
you whine at the loss of contact, but then you look down and see him staring at you with massive pupils and a wet face. "lovie- my shoulders are broad for a reason. rest your thighs on em and i swear they'll have enough room"
and you listen, and you're crushing his ears with your thighs, and he's never been happier. the next time you look down? he's rutting into the mattress and you see his hips stutter when he groans into you and your vision goes white
(@chamomiletealeaf and i had SUCH A HORNY discussion about this and she told me to post it so here i am- and also omg photo creds to her. we've gotta reign it in lmfao)
#if only you guys could see our chats. they're so so filthy#shout out to the first friend i've made on this lil side blog of mine- bless up!#i still don't know how to tag SHIT#but imma try my best!!#john price drabble#john price x reader#john price x reader drabble#john price smut#john price x reader smut#oh god how else do i do this this feels so awkward and weird#cod smut#cod x reader#cod drabble#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 smut#uuhhhh#yeah that works enough#im gonna need to be someone's smut protege or something so i can learn LMFAO
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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not to be myself on main but im still here
#snap chats#sorry not sorry im still obsessed with how big he is. this is peak mags body to me just huge as fuck and solid like a freight train#i hate that charas follow where you're looking because now i feel especially filthy like STOP. i AM looking at your ass i dont wanna hear i#this is why i cant stream me playing 90% of the time i will Not So Subtly just be checking out the modeling of his ass#it aint even a perverse thing im just genuinely mesmerized by the shape and the definition ..... the sculpt ...#i am a very tactile person i love texture and feeling grooves and all that so OF COURSE im gonna be here Forever#yeah they'll never tear this skin away from me. i need to grab him#there is no bounce his ass isnt even big it is hard as steel but idc. let me grab#'snap youve lost the plot' i fear i never had it to begin with the release of this game just made me worse#my favorite thing mags does sometimes is he'll like. raise his leg like some kinda fuckin horse while flourishing his magnetism#for what reason did yall have him do that. im obsessed I Repeat he's like a giant horse to me#ok im gonna stare at him for another half hour like some sicko bye#maybe ill play the game again later but i wanna work on stuff first
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Don't mind me, just gonna be disassociating on tumblr during these trying times
#I'm still a filthy liberal commie#And I'll be voicing that plenty#But maybe some sexy things will feel good
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Which haikyuu character do you think would be the most slimy, vile, manipulative yandere in a zombie apocalypse AU?
controversial opinion but it's tendo
#okay hear me out#yans like kuroo and oikawa obviously have the manipulation part down#kuroo can easily slide to the gross end of that spectrum#kenma and akaashi are also solid contenders#possibly more so because you don't necessarily see it coming from the quiet unassuming boys#but slimy manipulative AND vile#it's tendo#he's gross#like#there is no other option here#the answer is tendo#he has 0 shame about all the filthy shit he's doing with you#and you'll play right into his hands trying to outwit him#it feels like no matter what you do to try and get away he's always a step ahead#and that goes the same for everyone else#only worse because he's only playing with you#it's a fun little game to wear you down#for everyone else they're an obstacle to eliminate#his games are less fun more deadly#well#they're still fun for him#rhi answers
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they are serious yakuza men having serious yakuza-related discussions
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza 3#daigo dojima#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i must remind everyone i still think of them#also i got into this argument with my friend the other day </3 im a filthy mint ice cream enjoyer </3#i was actually drawing something else- lowkey has a similar punchline now that i think about it...#might save that for a later date then#maybe not.. idk its kinda cute....#anyway team mint ice cream where we at#ps i havent drawn mine in forever and it shows he feels so foreign to draw for me now#tho ig ive never been totally satisfied with how i draw him huh#ok bye
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“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
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Modern au:
When Dorian started dating Manon, he was able to see a few things in her that made him suspect something was off. At that point, he was able to see the pressure her grandmother put her under and he felt helpless in the face of that kind of thing.
Manon was really going out of her way to make sure everything is perfect and yet her grandmother kept scrutinizing her.
At formal events, he got to see that first hand. Manon would be super stressed, it would get worse about 2-3 days prior where her anxiety is at it’s peak; she won’t be able to sleep, and can’t keep anything down.
Dorian can see all of her effort and yet her grandmother’s responses are a variety of
“Don’t embarrass me,”
“What a disgrace,”
“This is worthless,”
And it really angers him.
But that was nothing compared to what he saw when they moved in together.
Prior to that, Manon was able to maintain her mask of aloofness and perfection. It was only when they lived together than Dorian saw how she struggles with insecurity and abandonment issues.
He learned of the long months she’d spend at boarding school, her grandmother wouldn’t allow her to return home if her grades are anything below a 100%. She’d call her an embarrassment and let her spend the holidays studying and making up for those grades.
He also saw how she struggles with boundaries sometimes. Moreover, he noticed that she instantly panics whenever she thinks that she made a mistake. Like forgetting her jacket on the counter, or leaving some of her work behind on the coffee table.
Dorian hates hates hates how her grandmother turned her into this person. She honestly believes that as soon as she commits the tiniest mistake, Dorian is going to leave and find someone better. He told her time and again that he doesn’t want anyone else, better or worse. He wants only her and nothing will ever change that.
But of course, his reassurance does nothing to elevate those issues that have been there for two decades. All he can is promise to always be there, that no matter what happens he isn’t going to leave or find someone else.
Now another issue is their families. They attend the same social circles and their families no each other. Chaol is against their relationship because he wants someone other than a Blackbeak to be with his friend. Aelin doesn’t care much, she tries to get along with Manon but the two of them don’t spend any time together to have any sort of relationship.
Then there are his parents; Georgina wants to pick her son’s lifelong partner. The fact that he’s with the Blackbeak heir infuriates her to no end.
Now normally he would ignore everyone and does as he pleases. However, now that he lives with Manon and knows exactly how vulnerable she is, he had a meeting with his parents and Chaol.
He sat them all down, and told them in no certain terms that if he brings Manon over for a visit, if any one of them make her feel unwanted, he’d get her out of there immediately and never return back there.
Dorian is serious, she’s been though enough and he sees how she struggles. That the perfectly put up woman is hiding a lot of things underneath and he hates how he can’t shoulder some of those things. All he can do is love her through it all and hope that one day it will be enough.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#aelin fireheart#aelin galathynius#chaol westfall#he was feeling helpless most of the time#and Manon doesn’t say anything really she just keeps going and going and going burning herself out only to be chewed out by her grandmother#but Dorian noticed it and he was mad#Manon is still trying to get her grandmother to notice her but it doesn’t work#she’s under a lot of pressure and he decided to be her safe space just to try and balance things out#and even back when she was young her grandmother didn’t send her to just any boarding school#it was an elite private school where academics were challenging and where many royals and other filthy rich families went#so it was very competitive and she told Manon that she has to be in the number 1 spot at everything#if she isn’t the first at everything she does then she’s a stupid worthless child who will only bring shame to their name#might as well bring the downfall of the Blackbeak clan#perhaps her grandmother needs to find someone else to be her heir instead because she would want nothing to do with her. just disown her#and move on. Manon spent A LOT of time alone when she was young and it certainly wasn’t safe. she’d still stay in Switzerland tho but not#on school grounds. starting at the age of 12 she felt brave enough to travel to nearby towns and spend some time there. just that she’s#actually a child and literally anything could have happened to her#when she was 14/15 she’s travel to other countries and just spend time exploring new places#that put her in danger because she nearly got kidnapped a couple of times#she got lost and snowed in while deep in the forest. and she knew that if she died or anything happened to her no one would know or even#miss her so she didn’t really care at some point. in the instances her scores were all miraculously perfect she was allowed home and spend#a whole month being subjected to her grandmother’s abuse
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*video by a self proclaimed historian archeology with mary on a cross dramatic beat in the background fake crying hand on mouth in instagram reels* here is a funeral epigraphy of this young roman lady who got murdered by her husband! People especially men were such beasts right then and haven't changed much! *shows epigraphy where parents of murdered girl both father and mother denounce their daughter's murder as something abominable and either way Very Much Not Uncaring of the girls fate*
#i also just think its dangerous to like. chalk up an entire population/culture as having components that act like a monolith#and every one is a misogynistic violent man who uses women as a bargaining chip and no one cared about their#wife/sister/mother/daughter ever#and well. i know the long dead thousand year long spanning violent state the roman empire doesnt need my defense lol#i just think. generalizing a demographic is bad. and like. how people are just comfortable doing it because#they have decided that the entity they are talking about is 'bad' and thus can say all the shit they want about them#and like yeah. roman misogyny was really bad and disgusting i studied roman literature for fucks sakw#i know what many men thought of women back then#but again. there were other men who cared about their female relatives. cicero and tullia. fulvia and clodius. pliny and calpurnia.#ovid and fabia.#literally the longest latin epigraphy we have is a man mourning his wife and wishing he died in her place and listing how wonderful she was#and when pointed out the people in the comments (whose venn diagram is a circle with bitches who exploit little girls#getting raped and/or murdered to spam I CHOOSE THE BEAR which again. if some bitch did that with me#they'd probably find her bloated naked body in the tevere two weeks later like holy shit its so disrespectful)#is a circle)#say 'buuh oooh well some guys loved their wives/daughter what matters she still died' and well.#people point that shit out because you are already so quick to jump at condemning a whole people as mindless monsters#who only thought about raping impregnating killing their child wives and thats just. not true#do you truly believe every human back then didnt have feelings and just adhered to societal norms?#do you thinl you from the oh so enlightened future are illuminated from those filthy savages and are immune from societal bias?#i also feel that like. the way most of those people approach this is less empathy on#the women who suffered beforeha d#in that place and more 'how can i make this about me a 25 yo WASP woman' yk
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hear me out. Fem Robin gets pregnant at the ug brothel then thinks it's lyahs child and lyahs knows the truth but lies to her. :'(
Sorry Anon, your idea is now on the ✨black list✨
Even I can't accept and won't allow that to happen, let alone Lyah.
#Not every angsty thought is flavourful idea Anon#Off to the black listeth thee wend#Nay one shall did lie a filthy handeth on robin as longeth as lyah is still alive#dollya ask#augh this reminds me of the zootopia abortion comic#very unpleasant feeling
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meds are weird, right, cause they'll kick in over something random like a year or two into taking them regularly, and you can kinda see it coming but its so strange being so viscerally calm over something i'd generally be in a tizzy over. nice weird tho :)
#like usually i'd go outside and feel filthy and need to get clean when i get home right?? but yesterday i felt. fine. had a quick wipde down#and deemed myself clean enough to get into my *fresh bedding* of all things#when i was fully expecting to want a whole bath when i got back#but i still feel like shit the morning after lmao#granted not cold-sweats kind of shit just groggy n stiff kind of shit#so yknow. improvement#anxiety is wild man wdym ppl are living on easy mode#and im now getting some access to this easy mode#telly static#meds mention#anxiety mention#in case anyone was wondering why im a major hermit lmao#i go outside n get like. 16 debuffs lol#and spend like 2 days fixing them all#but this is significant improvement so all is well :P
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Hello remember when i wrote that avalil smut roughly a year ago?
It takes Lilith by surprise but she watches vehemently as Ava desperately sucks her spit covered hand in hopes to catch a taste. It feels intimate, like Ava is seeing her, choosing her all over again.
Ava’s tongue tickles her hand and she resists the urge to curl her fingers deep inside. She watches, content as Ava finishes and presses kisses to each finger. Her lips quirk before she pulls Ava in for a kiss sitting up. It’s tender with Ava’s lips mouthing slowly against hers. Her lips are soft and Lilith has to reel in the urge to bite down hard.
Ava’s teeth scrape against hers as if reading her mind and Lilith growls, lips peeling back to bite. Her teeth prick against Ava’s bottom lip in warning before she swipes her tongue over it. Ava presses into her mouth desperately and Lilith answers just as passionately. Puffs of air linger between her teeth and Lilith cannot resist any longer. Lilith knows Ava can feel her hunger, urging her to break skin. Lilith can feel it in the way Ava presses into her hard, desperate to feel her. She slides her hands up Ava’s neck, rubbing in warning before grabbing a handful of her hair. Lilith yanks her head back exposing her neck and she bares her teeth. Ava moans stilling as Lilith holds her suspended, throat swallowing in anticipation.
Lilith admires her neck, the veins thumping wildly. She’s so pretty, Lilith pauses starstruck. Ava with her pale chest begging to be bruised. Ava with her heaving breaths, vulnerable and open and trembling. Lilith presses her lips against her collar bones feeling Ava’s shudder.
#tko_writes#okay so i haven't done any more work on it#i just needed something to submit for tko_writing#because originally i did have something written (do you think i'm kind)#but i actually want to have a coherent scene so i need to hammer out the end of the scene before i post it so here's this instead#also didn't feel like forcing myself to write the rest of the scene#can u believe i've only written 2k so far and it gets a little more filthy than this#I did NOT want to post the filthier scene for the fear that my peers will side eye me#which they won't but in my head they do#if i do post it later just know someones gagging on a strap#who said that#i do need to come revisit this but so much to do#Also ignore any wacky shit it's still a rough draft <3#avalil hunger theme woooooo
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SItting here thinking "Wow. suddenly all that practice w bb pcp things has come back"
nms shut up. also why did youtube pull the "are you still watching?" as soon as I hit the screenshot button
#dont need to answer i know. anyway ive just sunken into ''ANVD is what we called Nightmares/Dreams'' because holy shit. it#fucking really is. im not saying it has anything to do with bb - i have to keep clarifying this because its a public blog#but like. ok. yeah. lev just referred to a layer as Subcutaneous and its just been sinking in ever since. it is. it has the cutaneous layer#and then the other direction to of Dream to Nightmare. And various layers of clarity and... it exists as eyes. the broken eye forced#up against the sun to shed light on the story is one side and one purpose of the Abyssal Dreams.#now I get why even though I was freaking the fuck out spiralling from trauma whenever bb was brought up lev was still like#showing up - Red Sky at least - as Kos. and lev was. yeah. very like dont let go of it seep into it realise your connection realise what#exactly it is you relate to. let yourself revisit what you were calling BB-related. realise what was below the mask#~abyssal murmurs#And... I feel the madness settling in that came about with revelations regarding the Nightmares and for the first time since#then im like. this doesnt feel filthy and godawful. because. lmfao. of all the characters we hashtag Kinned... they were Micolashes#and I have absolutely rightfully found myself as a Kos. Weaver of Nightmares. Causation. Microcosm-macrocosm as one. Kosm.
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Adhd hot housetour bitches
#Yes has looked competely fine here before and I'm not thus filthy and messy all the time but it takes a couple of less chaotic days#to look semi normal and clean#and a couple of less chaotic weeks for it to look completely fine again#which there haven't been in a while#but for now I've got so much more to do still besides cleaning up this space#This month is packed with birthdays internship duties and on top of that covid smacked me in the face making me very lethargic and brainfog#I feel like we should share our messy houses sometimes#I'm cleaning the worst of this right now#mine#adhd
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Who was gonna tell me that Adam Powell, the original creator of Neopets, lost his mind and went full-on crypto bro in the neopets discord a few months ago
He totally did the textbook 'us versus them, you're all Poor and Uneducated Bums' thing
And then he literally flipped the bird to everyone
Never meet your heroes, apparently
#at least the memes are good lmaoo#adam powell#neopets#crypto#nfts#fuck nfts#fuck crypto#borovan#drama#apparently donna chipped in w like 'oh he mixed up his meds' or something? which ok. fair#but the whole crypto thing def didn't come out of nowhere nor did all the language he used#it's straight up crypto bro cult speak that's been conditioned into him so yeahhh not giving him a pass on this#the funny thing is tho. given the medication thing.. he might've gotten into the whole crypto thing bc of bad mental health#bc bad mental health makes you more susceptible to wishful thinking and cults and wanting to find an in group to feel enlightened w#in which case i still hate him BUT i can sympathize and hope he gets out of it :/#donna also said some ummm very puritan things lol. like she called the discord users filthy pervs or something#and mentioned sex toys?? like ok fam
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