#it's so upsetting coco is not a real person and can never queen out with dan howell. SO FUCKEDDDDD

[softpine]

you don't get it they're literally sisters.

[starrynite7114]

Snapshots: First time

A/N: FINALLY! The wait is over! An update is here! I apologize for such a long wait. It’s been a crazy year, but I’ve been trying to get my muse back so I can write for you lovely people! Again, not super confident with my smut, but I am definitely trying. 

If you all have any request for Angel & ‘you’ for snapshots, just send them in. Heck, if you have any Angel Reyes one shots that you want to request, throw it my way. 

Once again, enjoy the update! Happy 2020!

Warning: Smut! 

Rafael laughed as you laid on his couch, forearm over your eyes.

“Let me get this straight, you ran away from Angel, who was hot and sweaty because you were embarrassed?”

Hearing Rafael repeat your idiotic move made you groan out loud once again. You and Angel have been dating for 2 weeks and as much as your make out sessions have been ridiculously amazing, you actually haven’t had sex.

Why was that?

You weren’t a virgin. You were a hot blooded female who had sexual needs. But at the same time, you couldn’t move to the next step with Angel. You’ve had your fair share of heated kisses, but you always get interrupted or you wussy out. It was becoming harder and harder. 

Bless your boyfriend since he was nothing but respectful. He didn’t want to push you. Angel knew how much of a big deal your first time was to you and the last thing he wanted to do was push you. 

“Stop, I know, I’m an idiot.” You groaned. 

“You’re not an idiot, I just don’t think it’s hit you yet.” 

You gave him a confused look. “What?”

“You’ve had sex before, you’ve had sex after Jake even though Angel will never know about these nameless men,” Rafael snickered. “But I think you haven’t transitioned from best friend to girlfriend, or you can’t combine the two together.” 

“What?” You knew what Rafael was referring too, you just didn’t think it was that obvious for everyone else. These past 2 weeks have been amazing with Angel, but at times, it feels as if it isn’t real. The only added perk to your relationship was kissing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to the next level and it was upsetting you. You wanted to, god you wanted to, but every time you’re about to take it to the next level, you just shrink. 

“Are you afraid of what it’s going to change?”

“What?” You repeated. 

Rafael fought the urge to roll his eyes at you. He loved you dearly, but you can be a bit slow at times, which he didn’t mind, but he knew how different things were for you. You never thought you would get Angel, Angel was unattainable. But now you had him, it was like you were still shell-shocked. 

Relationships do not easily transition as they do in movies or television. You were so used to just being friends with Angel, that moving their relationship to the next level was difficult. You were so used to being just his friend that whenever the opportunity presented itself, you didn’t know how to let it go all the way. 

“I can read you better than anyone, well, not better than Angel, but I can to some extent.” Rafael sat next to you, placing your head on his lap. “This is your defense mechanism.” 

“What?” You removed your forearm that was covering your eyes and looked up at him

“You still feel some type of way about Angel being with other people.” You gave him a look. “Not in that way, I know you’re not going to give him shit over women he slept with before you, but I think you’re protecting yourself in the event that Angel decides that he doesn’t want to continue with this relationship,” Rafael explained. “Which I think is bullshit by the way because you know Angel won’t even change his mind.”

“I don’t think that’s true, I just, I’m weird, I don’t know.” You didn’t want to give Rafael the satisfaction that he was right. You were stubborn like that, but you know he can read right through you. 

“In your head, if you two never have sex, you can still go back to being friends with him.” 

You wanted to throw a pillow at Rafael, but you knew he was right. You covered your eyes with your forearm once again, making Rafael laugh. 

“I can never go back to being just friends with him.”

“And you won’t because this is it. Angel is all in and I wish you were too.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at Rafael’s suggestion. “I am all in.”

“Are you? You seem to be finding every excuse to not fully commit.” Rafael pointed out annoyingly. 

“What do you mean? I am fully committed to Angel.”

“But are you? If you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I get it, you’re trying to protect yourself, it still hasn’t hit you that you two are together.” Rafael said all the reasons that were running through your mind. “But if Angel was truly your best friend, you should trust him. He would never hurt you intentionally. If you just see how Angel looks at you, you’d understand why I loved fucking with him. You hold the world in Angel’s eyes, his world revolves around you. I get it, Adelita was a hiccup, but stop holding it against him. How can he fight something he doesn’t know about?” 

You sighed. Rafael was right. This was on you. Angel was incredibly respectful and made sure to not push your boundaries. But you knew he wanted to take things to the next level and it was time that you did. Talking to Angel was your main priority, he didn’t need to be kept in the dark about this, you two were always honest with one another after all. 

He was still your best friend.

“I hate it when you’re right.” 

Rafael laughed. “I’m just pointing out to you that he worships the ground you walk on, even though you think that’s not the case. Angel loves you, he’s made that very clear.” 

“How can he change his mind so quickly?” 

“About how he feels about Adelita?”

You nodded your head.

“Look, it’s always been you for him, I know you find that hard to believe, but you shouldn’t. Angel is the type of man who has always been second best. EZ was always above him. To him, he made that stupid deal with you not because you’re just there, it’s more so due to the fact that he wants to make sure he deserved you.”

“He told me that too.”

“Angel seems like a simple guy however, he’s quite complex. He has a cocky demeanor, but inside all of that is a big softie who is as vulnerable as anyone can be. You’re someone who got out of Santo Padre, but you always came back for him. As much as Angel wanted to keep you out of the life there, he could never let you go,” Rafael further explained. “Angel wanted you to branch out so that once it was time, it was going to be you and him. Sure, it was risky for him to not make a move early on, but Angel fought himself to not be overly selfish with you.”

“How do you even know all of this?” 

“Because I’ve seen this dance between you and Angel, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure all of it out.” Rafael smirked. “And we may have shared a drink or two not too long ago.” 

“You and Angel?” You sat up then, chuckling. “That’s interesting, seeing as how you were public enemy number one.”

“Well, since he found out I much rather sleep with him than you, I’m sure it made him feel at ease.” Rafael chuckled. “So, what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know, I would hate for Angel to feel that this is his fault.” You weren’t exactly sure how to fix things. Angel has been such a sweetheart and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than rip Angel’s clothes off, but the voice in your head could be so loud at times, it was annoying. 

“You know what, sleeping with Angel might solve all of this, it would just further cement how deep your relationship is,” Rafael knew that this was a conversation for you and Angel. It wasn’t just about reassurance, you had accepted the fact long ago that Angel would never be yours that now that he was, you weren’t exactly sure what you should do.

“Fuck, I feel like I should make it up to him.”

“You don’t need to make it up to him, don’t be silly. Just suck his dick.”

You laughed. “Rafa!”

“What?!” He laughed as well. “Show him the tricks I showed you.”

“I hate you.” You sat up, playful pushing him. 

“But seriously, he loves you, you know this. Stop letting your insecurities dictate your relationship. Take the leap.”

And you will, but you just had to talk to Angel first. Or maybe you can avoid it and just go all the way. You were certain you can distract Angel.

==============================

“She swerved you again?” Coco busted out in laughter. 

Angel sighed as Coco laughed at his ordeal. He wasn’t trying to push you to have sex with him, he was simply trying to seduce you for a lack of a better term. The ball was always in your court and he would never force you to have sex with him. 

He knew how much of a big deal your first time was and this was your first time together. Your first time was with Jake and even though Angel wasn’t holding it against you, it upset him greatly. He would never tell you, but for 2 months, he avoided you. He couldn’t believe you slept with Jake. Did he clock block you on purpose before Jake? Absolutely. He just didn’t think that any man was worthy of you however, he never tried to control you. He just tried to sway you away from possibility fornicating with another man. 

It was the most amusing thing for his brothers, to see Angel to try and dissuade you from having sex when he was sleeping with anything that walked. Angel never had a good reason for his double standard since there was no good reason.

“I still remember when you would try to scare her off from having sex with some guy at her college.” Coco shook his head as he chuckled. “You were a douche bag for that. What if she stayed with Jake because he was her first time? You know what they say, you get attached to the person you gave your V-card to.”

“Who the fuck actually believes that?”

“Plenty of people have been in that situation. My cousin married her bitch ass husband cause she couldn’t break away.”

“Your cousin is divorced.”

“That pendejo was an idiot, Jake isn’t. Jake treated her like a fucking queen. She would have never left him.” Coco slid a beer over to Angel. “You’re just lucky you’ve had her hooked for years or otherwise, Jake and Y/N would have been long gone.”

Angel hated it when people brought up Jake. He was well aware that he almost lost you to that asshole, more than aware. He remembered how hard he tried to be present in your life to assure that Jake wouldn’t be able to sink his claws in you. But for once, you were diverting Angel away, you were giving Jake a shot and it scared him. At times, he still feared you would wake up and decide that this life was not for you and you would go to New York with Jake. That you would realize that Angel wasn’t worth it.

He took a big swig of his drink then, making Coco laugh. 

“Chill man, she won’t leave you now.”

“I know,��� his voice betrayed him. He wasn’t actually certain you would never leave him. But he always pushed that thought to the back of his head. Angel was all about living in the moment. But he had moments where he thought of your future together. He wasn’t always so confident however, he tried his best to not let it plague his mind. It would cause trouble that was not needed or necessary. 

“Maybe you should plan out a romantic dinner for her, get her in the mood.” Riz joined in the conversation. 

“I don’t think getting her in the mood is the problem. She’s having a problem transitioning from best friend to girlfriend.” As much as you haven’t told Angel your struggles, he noticed. You were slightly awkward when things became more intimate. 

“What?” Coco was confused, not sure what Angel meant. 

Angel sighed. “We make out all the time, not a problem with her. But when I try to take it to the next level, she tenses up. I know she ain’t afraid of me. Then she becomes awkward, she moves away, covers up.” Angel knew that this was new for you. You’ve made out with your fair share of men, but he knew how transitioning was for you. It seemed like you two were still just friends, with added benefits. Angel never wanted to push the issues since he felt that you may believe it was due to him pressuring you to have sex. But he knew he would have to soon. He could see how nervous you would get whenever his hands would drift down to your underwear, how you would tense up. At first, he brushed it off, but now, he felt as if you weren’t interested and it upset him. Sex was not the only thing in your relationship, but he would like to take it to the next left, to become more intimate with you. 

“Shit man, that’s a situation,” Coco chuckled, he couldn’t help but be amused at this. Angel never had a problem bedding women, but he always knew it would be different with you. 

“You tried talking to her?” Riz questioned.

“How do I talk to her without sounding like a douchebag?”

His brothers nodded their head in agreement. It was a difficult situation. How could he talk to you without sound like he wanted more in order to appease his sexual appetite? 

“Just bring it up in a way that makes it not about sex. For example, ask her why she becomes nervous when you try to take it to the next level, is she afraid or some shit like that.” Taza entered the conversation, getting a beer from Coco. “I must say, it’s refreshing to see you bent up over a woman.” 

“Glad everyone is having fun at my expense,” Angel took a swig of his beer. “She thinks I’m gonna leave her.”

“Only one way for you to leave her and that’s in a box.” Taza shook his head. “You fucked up your girl.”

“I fucked her up?” Angel gave his VP an incredulous look. 

“Come on Angel, ever since you joined the club, Y/N has been by your side. We always thought she was your girl, but you made it very clear in front of her and everyone that she was only your best friend. For so long, that’s all she’s been.” Taza began to explain. “Now, you finally admit your feelings to her and she may just be thinking you’re trying to appease her.” 

“We all thought it was bullshit, but we never pushed it. We’re glad you finally got your head out of your ass.” Riz added. “And thank god you did cause we would hate to deal with you if she ended up marrying that jackass she was with.” The rest of their brothers laughed along with Riz, while Angel just shook his head. 

“I’m sure you’re fully committed to her, but maybe she needs some reassurance.” Gilly suggested. 

For Angel, you shouldn’t need reassurance. Maybe his plan backfired on him, but he couldn’t be selfish with you.

He always had this internal struggle that if he kept you at bay, you can have a normal life and still be in his life. The last thing he wanted was to tie you down to Santo Padre. Everyone knew that Angel’s life was in Santo Padre, he couldn’t leave if he tried. But you, he knew your life was outside of Santo Padre. The last thing he wanted 

He knew that this wouldn’t be the first time you would need reassurance. Maybe he did damage that aspect of your relationship. But if he was to work on it every day for the rest of your lives, he was fine with that. You were the only person to stay by his side regardless of the stupidity he put forth. You always loved him unconditionally with no questions asked. It was time he showed his devotion to you. 

==============================

“Querida!” Angel called out. After a long day at the club, he finally was able to come home to you and Angel could not wait. He was determined to take your relationship to the next level tonight, of course, with your permission. 

“Bathroom!” You responded.

Angel took off his kute, placing it on his armchair before making his way to the bathroom. He stopped by the doorframe, leaning against it with his arms crossed across his chest. He bit his lip before letting out a chuckle. You were going to be the death of him. 

“How’s the water baby?” He questioned. He felt his dick hardening as he watched you play with the bubbles, giving him this smile that always drove him crazy. 

“Good, want to join?” 

“No, I’m good,” Angel walked over to you, placing a kiss on your lips before sitting down beside you but on the bathroom floor. “How was your day?”

“Good, always fun to spend the day with Rafa, how was yours?” 

He watched as you relaxed, leaning back on the tub, waiting for him to reply. If you didn’t want to have sex tonight, he would definitely need to have a cold shower, again. 

“Better now especially cause I have you naked in my bathroom.” Angel put his hand inside the water, playfully splashing you. His forearm rested at the edge of the bathtub, his eyes hungrily roaming around your body. “Got enough room for me?”

“Always,” you smirked, scooting up to show Angel you had enough room for him to sit behind you. 

Angel immediately undressed, smiling as you looked away, playing with the bubbles as he undressed. He sat behind you, pulling you against him, his semi-hardened member resting on your lower back. His arm rested on your chest, as your back rested against him. He whispered an ‘I love you’ into your ear, kissing the side of your head. 

You two sat in silence, your eyes slowly closing as Angel’s warmth was relaxing your whole body. Angel’s lips began to leave faint kisses on your neck, moving your hair as he began to suck on those spots he knew would get you wrapped around his fingers. 

You groaned out as Angel continued his ministrations, one of his hands running down your stomach. 

“You going to run again?” Angel questioned. 

“No,” you breathed out as Angel’s fingers ran up and down your inner thigh.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this?” He questioned as his finger ran up and down your slit, causing you to close your eyes and bite your lip, anticipating Angel’s next move. “So many times I’ve dreamt of how you looked without any clothes on, just looking up at me with those eyes of yours.” He bit your ear as he began to circle your clit with his thumb. “Mi vida,” he whispered into your ear as he circled your entrance with his index finger. Your head laid on his chest, your breath hitching when his finger entered your pussy. “Fuck baby,” Angel hissed, his hand squeezing your breast as his fingers began to go in and out. 

“Angel,” you moaned out. He groaned, hearing you moan out his name, not even thinking of how your moans would affect him. His fingers went in and out faster. 

He stopped, moving you so that his legs were on top of yours, spreading your legs wider. His fingers went in and out once again, his thumb strumming on your clit. “Damn baby, you’re tightening up,” he whispered. 

Before you could cum, he pulled out his fingers, making you groan. “Angel!” 

“You’ve been running away and teasing me, it’s payback.” He chuckled. “Let’s get you washed up and I’ll take you to bed, so I can worship you.” 

You and Angel quickly washed up. He dried you up with the towel by his shower before he picked you up, causing you to giggle as he walked over to his bed. Angel was hard and he wasn’t hiding it. The towel was wrapped around you and he was bare. He laid you on the bed, letting the towel fall to either side of you. 

Angel stood at the edge of the bed as you lay, waiting for his next move. His eyes studied your body, licking his lips as his eyes landed on your face. 

“You’re so beautiful baby,” Angel moved on top of her, your lips connecting. Your hands were on either side of your head and Angel connected your fingers, grinding down onto you. “Feel that?” His lips hovered over yours as he grinded down again, “that’s all for you baby.”

You looked down, biting your lips as you looked at Angel’s well endowed cock. He was thick and long. For a moment, you weren’t exactly sure if you could actually take him. You haven’t had sex in a year or so and you haven’t exactly been masturbating either.

“Just be gentle, I haven’t done this since Jake.”

Angel simply kissed you before his lips made their way down to your neck, chest, and down to your inner thighs. “Has anyone ever gone down on you?”

“Is this really something you want to know?” You questioned, looking down at him. He smirked before biting your thigh. “Ouch! Alright, Jake did.”

“I’m gonna make you forget anyone before me, you’re mine now querida.” Angel kissed the skin he bit before using his fingers to part your lower lips. “Fuck baby, I’ve been dreaming of how you taste,” Angel’s words were getting to you and you watched as he lowered his tongue and ran it up your slit. You both groaned. “Oh, you’re in trouble now baby, I’ll never get my fill of you.” Angel stopped talking and let his tongue show you just how much he was enamored with you. 

Clutching the sheets, you arched your back as Angel continued to lap at your pussy, your stomach tightening up.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted before letting out a groan as you had your first orgasm of the night. Angel moved away, watching as you tried to catch your breath, your legs closing. 

Angel parted your legs, moving up your body, peppering kisses all over your skin. Once he reached your lips, he kissed you, his tongue slipping in. He pulled away, admiring your swollen lips as he ran his thumb across it. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as you took his thumb into your mouth, your tongue licking the tip of his finger. “You drive me fucking crazy,” he pulled his thumb out, reaching for the condom he strategically placed on the bed.

“No, we’re good, I’m on birth control.” You stopped him from opening the packet. 

“You right, cause it’s you and me till the fucking end now, doesn’t matter to me if you get pregnant.” He stood up and walked over to his drawer. He took out the lube he had bought not too long ago and walked back over to you. “You’re wet, but I want to make this as comfortable as I can for you.” 

Opening the bottle, he parted your lips and poured the lube down your pussy before collecting it with his fingers and pushing it in. You moan, opening your legs further. Angel smirked and removed his fingers, positioning himself on top of you. He ran his dick up and down your slit.

“God, you’re going to be the death of me, you really gonna let me enter you bare baby?” He pressed the tip of his dick against your clit, and you moaned once again. “I fucking love hearing you moan.”

“Yes, of course I would,” you responded, moving your hips. “Please put it in me,” you were upset that you waited so long to go the next step with Angel. Maybe it really didn’t sink in yet you’re his girlfriend, but you wanted this, you really did. To be this intimate with Angel would just further cement that it was you and him for the long run now. 

Without anymore words between you, Angel slowly pushed inside you. You felt a slight discomfort as Angel stretched your pussy. He began to circle his thumb on your clit, your muscles relaxing as he did. You looked up at him and found him studying you, worry etched on his face. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Angel knew he wouldn’t stop, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you. 

“Just push it all the way in,” 

Angel did as you asked and you threw your head back when he was buried to a hilt. You felt so full, grabbing on his forearms that rested on either side of your body. It was slightly painful, and you knew Angel wouldn’t move till you asked him to do so. He kissed you, continuing to stimulate your clit.

“Baby, you’re so fucking tight,” Angel knew he had to move soon because if you keep squeezing him like you were now, this was going to be an embarassingly short first time. He couldn’t let that happen. “Can I move?” 

The discomfort left and the pleasure came. You nod your head as Angel slowly pulled out, almost completely before slamming himself back in. He stood on his knees, parting your legs further with his hands. He watched as his cock went in and out of your pussy, groaning at the site of your wetness all around his cock. 

His eyes traveled to you and your head was tilted back in ecstasy as his thrust came faster and faster. This was a sight he could get used to. Watching you come apart because of him. He slowed down, causing you to look over at him. Angel gave you that devlish smirk of his, grinding down on you, brushing against your clit. 

Before you knew it, he rolled you two over and you were on top. While his arms around you, he moved to the top of the bed so he can lean against the headboard. 

“It’s your turn baby,” Angel placed his hands on your thighs, waiting for you to move. 

You bit your lip, placing your hand on his shoulder. “I’ve never done this before,” you sheepishly admit. 

“What?” Angel questioned. 

“Jake was always on top,” it wasn’t a bad thing, at least you didn’t think so. Missionary and doggy style were the only ones Jake mostly did. You never complained since you enjoyed it and it’s not like you knew any better. 

Angel chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright baby girl, I’ll guide you.” 

He aided you with moving up and down his cock. For some reason, he felt deeper this way. You began to pick up speed, getting the hang of riding Angel. You looked at your boyfriend as he bit his lips, watching where you two were connected. You looked down as well, moaning out loud as you felt that familiar feeling in your stomach again. 

“That’s right baby, just like that,” Angel began to stimulate your clit again. You knew that you were going to come. 

“Angel!” You screamed out as you felt yourself come undone. Angel kept circling your clit as you slowed your movements. 

He sat up, capturing your lips once again. He cradled your face, nuzzling your noses together. 

“I fucking love you y/n,” he said to you. “Don’t ever forget that, I love you, only you.”

You nodded your head, feeling yourself tear up. Looking into Angel’s eyes and just seeing how they softened when he proclaimed his love for you, it made your heart swell. You felt terrible for doubting Angel, but it just seemed all so surreal to you. It was just the beginning of your relationship, you had your whole lives to make up for lost time. 

He placed you on your back before he began to thrust in and out of you once again. You realized that you’ve had an orgasm twice tonight and he hasn’t. But with the way his hips were moving, you knew that he may be close and he was. Angel knew he was coming soon. You were so slick and tight, it wasn’t hard to thrust in and out. 

Angel was moving in and out of you faster, the friction was just far too good for you. “You ready to cum again baby?” Angel questioned as he felt his orgasm coming as well. 

“Querida, fuck!” Angel yelled out as his thrust became sloppier. You feel an orgasm coming again, whimpering out Angel’s name as he kept pounding into you.

“I’m cumming baby,” Angel finally came after a few thrust, with you following after him. He groaned out as you continued to squeeze him before he removed himself. 

He watched as his cum dripped down your pussy. He stood up and went to the bathroom to grab a washcloth. He cleaned you up, which surprised you as this was the first time it ever happened. 

“Get under the covers,” Angel ordered. 

You followed, waiting for him to come back. Angel slipped under the covers, pulling you towards him. You faced one another, a satisfied smile on both of your lips.

“Sorry this took so long.” 

Angel chuckled. “Don’t fucking apologize for that. I wasn’t going to push you if you weren’t ready. But I’m so fucking glad you were ready tonight cause if you weren’t I would have to have another cold shower.” 

You laughed. “I love you, Angel.”

He smiled, placing his hand on your cheek. “I love you too,” he kissed you before pulling you against him as he laid on his back. “Alright nap time before the next round.”

“What?” You looked up at him as he looked down at you.

“Oh baby, we’re just getting started.”

[plugloveff]

Chapter 6

Cassidy: 

Looking down at my phone I rolled my eyes in annoyance at the 17 missed calls and 32 messages from Chris. Shoving my phone into the pocket of my sweatpants I motioned for Stephanie to pass me the blunt.

“What’s going on with you?” Chanel asked taking a sip of her drink.

“Chris is getting on my god damn nerves” I replied bringing the blunt to my lips and taking a long pull.

“How is that going? Y'all been together for what three years now ?” Aria asked

“Yeah, but I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last”

“Your just upset right now, you just need to calm down” Chanel said.

“Yeah” I replied but I knew the truth.

Chris was a great person and I knew he loved me, but I wasn't in love with him anymore. I hadn't been for a while now, I was just going through the motions. I didn't want to hurt him, I couldn't he didn't deserve it. Plus who left a man who loved them and treated them like a queen for no good reason. I just kept telling myself I was going through a faze and I was going to find that spark with Chris again. I mean I had to right?

“Cass” Chanel yelled

“Huh” I said snapping out of my thoughts.

“This is Cash, Meek’s cousin” she said pointing to the man who was now sitting next to me.

When my eyes locked on his my breath caught in my throat. Hazel eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't seem to speak. He's gorgeous, no men weren't gorgeous were they? I thought.

“Nice to meet you beautiful” he said smiling at me.

“You too ” I said but my voice came out hoarse.

Cash smirked at me and my entire body ignited like someone had set me on fire. This man was fine as hell and I didn't realize that we'd been having a staring contest until  Chanel cleared her throat breaking my trance.

When I looked up at her she was smirking at me and shaking her head. Looking away from her I picked up the bag of weed off the table and the rolling tray and stated rolling up. I needed to distract myself from looking at him and I could feel Cash's eyes on me.

“Yo Cash I’m coming to the shop this week I need a new tat” Wayne said.

“What you getting ?” Steph asked.

“You’ll see when it’s done” he replied.

“Just lemme know when, so I can squeeze you in” Cash replied.

“Where’s the lighter” I asked

“Here” Cash said pulling one out of his pocket.

Looking at him I took the lighter out of his hand and lit the blunt. "Thanks" I said taking a pull, I let the weed fill my lungs and rested my head back against the chair blowing the smoke out of my mouth.

I felt Cash's eyes boring into the side of my face “You wanna pull?” I asked.

Cash smirked and took the blunt from my hand. When his finger’s grazed against mine I felt like i'd been shocked. It must be the weed she thought.

We spent the next two hours smoking and talking. I felt a sense of comfort talking to Cash as if I’d known him my entire life. He was easy to talk to and he made me laugh. We were in their own bubble tuning out the rest of the group around us.

“Yo I’m so smacked, I feel like I’m talking too much” I said laughing.

“Nah you not, I like talking to you” Cash said leaning his head back against the chair and staring at me.

I felt hot all over again, the more he stared at me the hotter I got. And when he licked his lips I felt my center pulse. Oh no please no !!

“I should probably get going I got an early day tomorrow” I said sitting up.

“You good to drive ?” Cash asked

“Nah I came with Coco but I’ll take an Uber home I don’t look like she’s ready to go” I said looking at Chanel who was snuggled into Meek's lap.

“Nah I can take you home I’m bouta head out too” he said

“No that’s ok I don’t want to take you out of your way"

“Your not I offered Ma, come on” Cash said standing up.

Standing up I said my goodbye's and waited for Cash. “You ready?“ he asked.

“Yeah”

“Aye Cash tread light nigga that’s family” Meek called out to him but I saw the smirk on his face.

Cash chuckled and shook his head “Nigga I’m family” he replied as he lead me out of the backyard.

When we got to the driveway Cash opened the passenger door to a cherry red Ferrari.

“Aren’t you a gentlemen” I said as I slid into the buttery seats.

“Only for you” Cash said closing the door and getting into the driver’s side.

“Alright where we off to?” Cash asked when he was behind the wheel.

Telling him my address I rested my head against the window. The weed in my system had me super relaxed and it was only a matter of time before I fell asleep.

When we pulled onto the highway, Cash broke the silence. “You sleeping over their lil mama?“

“No I was about to but your loud ass interrupted me"

Cash laughed and I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his deep laugh.

“You can’t fall asleep on me, I need you to entertain me” He said

“I look like a clown to you? Plus I’m losing beauty sleep right now"

“Nah you not a clown lil mama, and I'on think you need beauty sleep"

"And why is that?"

"Because you're already so beautiful” he replied.

I bit my lip trying to hide the smile that threatened to spread on my face. "You're real smooth, you say that to all the girls?"

"Nah only the one’s I’m really interested in” he replied.

“So your interested in me?"

"Hell yeah I’m tryna be invested though if you let me "

I couldn’t find the right words to say so I nodded my head and looked outside the window. I heard Cash laugh.

Pulling in front of my apartment I sighed and looked up at the tall building. "Thank you for the ride Cash” I said unbuckling my seat belt.

“Wait” Cash said putting his hand on my thigh.  “I was wondering if you could do something for me in return" he said.

"What?” I asked glaring at him.  

Cash smiled “Noting like that lil mama. Can I have your number? You know to work on my investment?” he asked.

I playfully rolled my eyes “Who said I was available?"

"Nobody but if you are he obviously ain’t doing his job right"

"Why would you say that?"

Cash leaned into me, his lips only inches away from mine. "Because I wouldn’t let your fine ass out of my sight if you were mine."

"Oh” I said feeling my pulse quicken.

Cash bit his lip and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “So them digit’s? You might as well give them to me cause I ain’t gone stop till I get them. All I gotta do is text Meek and they’re mine” he said.

“He wouldn’t"

"Oh but I’m very persuasive” Cash said.

I knew he was telling the truth because he was finessing me right now. I knew this was a bad idea but I took his phone and typed in my number. When I handed it back to him his smile was so cocky I rolled my eyes.

“Good night lil mama” Cash said cupping my chin in his hand and kissing my forehead.

"Goodnight Cash ” I said getting out of the car.

I quickly walked into my building fighting with myself not to turn back and look at him. When I got on the elevator I rested my head against the cold metal trying to calm myself down. My heart was pounding against my chest. What the fuck was that? I thought.

I went to sleep that night next to Chris but dreaming of Cash. And I knew I was in trouble.

Chanel: 

Stepping out of my Louboutin's I sighed feeling my feet hit the bare wood floor. My feet were killing me and I desperately wanted to take a hot bath and climb into bed with my man. Unfortunately for me I was the girlfriend of a gangster which meant most nights I went to bed alone.

Walking into my bedroom, I dropped my Birkin bag on the dresser. Noticing the balcony door opened I stepped out onto the patio. When I saw Robert standing on my balcony I paused.

"What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while. You have me blocked on everything and I’ve tried to get to you at work but Stephanie hasn’t let me talk to you. I got lucky that there’s a new guard downstairs and he let me up” Robert said.

“You wanna talk to me? You have 30 seconds make it fast” I said.

“Chanel I love you I know I fucked up believe me I know and I’m sorry about that if I could take it all back I would. But you not really with this nigga Chanel if you think I was bad what do you think a nigga like that is gonna do?” Rob said.

“He’s never given me a reason to think other wise Rob I can’t say the same for you though. And your thirty-seconds are up” I said.

“Just tell me do you love him more than me ?"

Rolling my eyes I shook my head. "You really want this answer?"

"Yes, if you do I promise I’ll leave you alone"

"Robert I loved you since I was 18 years old, you were my first real love. But I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love Meek” I said.

Robert looked at me stunned by my confession. “Oh okay then. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy Nel and if he makes you happy then I’ll fall back"

"Thank you"

"I just hope he realizes what he has and holds onto it before it’s too late”

“He knows” I replied.

Nodding his head Rob walked over to me and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Take care Chanel” he said before walking out.

When I heard the elevator doors close I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Stepping off the balcony I walking into my ensuite and set myself  a bath. Pulling my hair into a high bun on top of my head I connected my phone to my beats pill. Kehlani’s voice poured through the speaker as I sank into the tub.

The hot water eased my tense muscles.Closing my eyes I let out a deep breath and sank deeper into the tub. My mind replayed the last few minutes over and over again. I had finally closed the door on my relationship with Rob, he was my first so I knew I would always have love for him. But the love I felt for Ahmeek was different it was borderline obsessive, dangerous. Someone had already lost their life over it. And I wondered what or who else would pay the price of our love.

Then there was the detective who was looking into Jennifer’s disappearance. You mean murder.

Meek promised me that it was all taken care of but I still feared the worst.

That wasn’t the only thing that bothered me though. I knew that if the detective hadn’t told me; Meek wouldn’t have and that bothered me. He was so good at hiding it from me he didn’t even seem fazed by it. If he could hide that from me then what else would he hide from me?

I wanted to trust him but something told me that there was more to Ahmeek Brown than I knew and I wasn't sure how much I really know the man I slept next to every night.

I sat in the tub for almost an hour deep in thought and when the water got cold I quickly washed my body off and stepped out of the tub.

Throwing on some boy shorts and one of Meek’s shirt’s I climbed into bed. Glancing at my phone it was already 3 am. I was exhausted but my body fought to stay awake. I just needed to see him before I closed my eyes. Rolling over to his side of the bed I hugged his pillow. His scent still lingered on it and my body relaxed deeper into the mattress.

I was addicted to this man I needed him I craved him and on night’s like this when I couldn’t have him I felt uneasy.

Picking up my phone I sent him a quick text message.

Chanel: I love you, be safe and I’ll be waiting for you at home.

I didn’t wait for an answer because I knew he’d be busy. Gripping the pillow tighter I fell asleep.

                                                      ___________  

It’d been two days since I had heard or seen Meek and I was going crazy. I’d reached out to Dre and Wayne and they assured me that he was fine. Which turned my worry into rage, because it meant he was purposely avoiding me but I wasn’t sure why.

Sitting on the edge of my bed I fastened the straps of my Tom Ford heels. The girls were dragging me out of the house to get my mind off of Ahmeek. But there was no use my mind was constantly on Ahmeek he had infected my entire body and mind. Days without him had been torture for me.

Sighing I stood up from the bed and walked to my mirror. The distressed jeans and crop top I wore weren’t my normal club attire but I wasn’t in the mood to put any effort into my outfit.

Pulling my hair into a high ponytail I grabbed my wristlet and headed for the elevator. Reaching for my car keys, I noticed the keys for Meek’s Ferrari on the hook. Smirking I picked them up and stepped onto the elevator.

Pulling up in front of the club I noticed my friends waiting for me. Putting the car in park I stepped out of it and walked over to my friends.

“You wanna start a war tonight I see” Aria said.

“What are you talking about?” I asked smugly, I knew exactly what I was doing.

“You know someone’s gonna spot his car and snitch on your ass right?” Aria asked pointing to the custom car.

Shrugging my shoulders I walked into the club with Steph and Aria close behind.

I had plans to make a scene tonight, if Meek wasn’t gonna answer me. I was just going to have to get his attention another way.

Meek:

I clenched my jaw as Wayne pulled up in front of the club. When I saw my Ferrari parked on the corner my blood boiled. Wayne hadn’t even fully put the car in park before I hopped out.

“Where is she?” I asked the bouncer.

“Last time we had eyes on her she was by the bar” he said.

Nodding my head I stepped into the crowded club with Wayne and Dre on each side of him. I scanned the bar looking for Chanel.

"Aye we got action” Wayne motioned towards the end of the bar where Chanel, Aria and Steph were doing shots. My jaw clenched when I saw the man standing behind Chanel wrap his arm around her waist.

"Ah shit” Dre said shaking his head because he already knew what was going to happen next.

Pushing through the crowd I got to them so fast that Steph and Aria didn’t have a chance to warn her.

“If you like having your hand I would move it” I barked out.

I noticed how Chanel’s body stiffened when she heard my voice. When she turned to face me her eyes were red and low. She was high and from the empty shot glasses on the counter she was drunk as well.

“Oh now you care” she asked, leaning closer into the man’s arm with a smirk on her face.

Chanel was definitely drunk and she was testing my patience.

“Chanel let’s go” I said.

It was taking everything in me not to knock this man’s head off his shoulder’s and fling Chanel over my shoulder to my car.

“No, you ain’t speak to me for fucking day’s didn’t even check on me. For no reason now you think I’m just going to leave with you? No fuck you” Chanel spat. She was fuming, her eyes were wild and her breathing had picked up.

We glared at each other, the tension between us was  thick. Each one of us daring the other to do something.

“I'on think she wanna go with you my man” the man who lingered on Chanel said.

Breaking my eye contact with Chanel I glared at him. “What the fuck you just say to me ?” I asked taking a step closer to him.

Dre and Wayne watched on ready for whatever. That’s just how we rolled, if one bussed we all bussed.

“Yo I don’t mean no disrespect but she don’t seem like she wanna leave with you. Maybe you should just fall back” he said.

I let out a throaty chuckle, danger flashed in my eyes. As he locked one hand over the opposite wrist. I stared my opponent dead in the eyes.

“You see you’re trying to keep me from my girl and that is what I take as disrespect. Look around you, think about what you doing before you have your mama crying in all black ” I stated.

I didn’t want it to come to this because the clubbed was packed and I wasn’t one who believed in leaving witnesses. But if it came to it, I would handle it.

The man glanced around the club, he hadn’t noticed before the two men that sat on either end of the bar. Or that the guards all seemed to be staring at him. He was out numbered, this wasn’t a fight he wanted.

Nodding his head he glanced down at Chanel “take care of yourself” he said before walking away.

Chanel rolled her eyes at looked back at me. “You happy now? You ruined my fun” Chanel said.

“Let’s go now” I said reaching for her hand but Chanel snatched it back. “Don’t touch me” Chanel said pointing her finger in my face.

I had enough of Chanel’s attitude. Groaning I scooped her up and threw her over my shoulder.

“Pass me her bag?” I said while fighting to hold Chanel still.

Aria smirked and handed him Chanel’s bag. “Thank’s. I'mma hit y'all later” I said walking out of the club with Chanel screaming and punching at my back for me to put her down.

When they reached my car, I finally put her down. Opening the door I motioned for her to get in. Chanel stood still with her hand crossed against her chest.

“Chanel stop fucking playing with me and get in the fucking car” I barked at her.

Chanel rolled her eyes and slid into the passenger’s seat. Slamming the car door I got in on the driver’s side.

                                                      ___________________

“You gonna talk to me now, or you gonna keep acting like I don’t fucking exist” I asked.

“You wanna talk now? You been gone for two fucking days and now you wanna talk to me? I had to go to the club and make a scene to get your fucking attention ? My own boyfriend. So I don’t have shit else to say to you Ahmeek.” Chanel yelled.

“I needed to handle some stuff” I said

“So you didn’t think to let me know that?” Chanel asked.

“I needed to calm down before I came to you”

“Calm down for what?"

"I know you had him here” I said my jaw twitching.

“Who?"

"Bitch ass Rob"

Chanel looked at me for a few minutes and then started laughing. "This was because of Rob? Are you serious right now? He was here when I got home, I’ve been avoiding him for months and there’s a new guard downstairs who obviously didn’t know not to let his ass upstairs. But I told him that we were done and that I loved your dumb ass. He respected it and left he wasn’t even here for five fucking minutes"

"He shouldn’t have been here"

"No shit I just said he was here when I got home. So that’s why you been ignoring me? Instead of opening your fucking mouth and actually talking to me” Chanel shook her head and walked out of her room.

I followed behind her. “I’m trying to handle you differently. I don’t wanna be barking at you and fighting with you so I needed a couple days. And then you pull this shit tonight, you testing me Chanel on god you testing a nigga. I was so close to turning that nigga lights out” I said running a hand through my waves.

“You can’t be hurting people because of me” Chanel said.

“I don’t know how else to get this anger out. Two nigga’s already lost they lives cause I was in a bad mood because of you” I said.

Chanel sighed and shook her head. “Talk to me first, if it’s not needed and it’s just because your mood is sour talk to me Ahmeek. I’m not here just to lay down with you I’m here to be your sounding board, if there’s something on your mind or something that’s bothering you tell me I’m here. But please don’t shut me out again. Because I’m gonna be petty and you’re gonna be mad. It’s a dangerous cycle"

"Loving you is dangerous ma. Because for you I’ll do anything” I said.

Chanel’s anger softened. Walking over to me she wrapped her arms around my waist. “25 to life with you pa. I love you” Chanel said.

I sighed and planted a kiss on her forehead. “25 to life” I said.

[kumkaniudaku]

FRIENDS (Three)

ONE. TWO.

The remainder of the trip felt like a dream for both couples as they reveled in time set aside to be carefree adults for the first time in months. Tasha and Maya spent hours in the bazaar, choosing fabrics and local jewelry from the finest designers. T’Challa and Chadwick spent time roaming the historical portions of Wakanda, including a few places that normal tourists were not privy to. Chadwick appreciated the lessons surrounding not only Wakandan culture and history but of the continent in general. T’Challa was excited to share the knowledge that he’d gained over his years as a student abroad and an ambassador for his beloved country.

In an effort to appease T’Challa and Chadwick’s desire for more “manly” activities, Maya and Tasha reluctantly slipped into workout gear to follow their husbands on a light hike through the Woods of Solitude. A light hike for the men turned into a jog while their wives chose to lag behind and enjoy the scenery.

Tasha stole glances at Maya and her barely-there bump and smiled, “I’m so happy for you, Star. How you feeling? Getting the Mommy butterflies yet?”

“I don’t know. I go back and forth between being excited and a little scared.”

“Because of the…” Tasha’s voice trailed as she gestured toward her stomach, earning a solemn nod from Maya. “It’ll be okay. The possibility is there, but don’t worry yourself about it. Plus, I ordered some stuff for them last night. How do you feel about a portrait of your sonogram?”

“Is this what having Auntie CoCo on board is like,” Maya laughed with her eyebrows raised.

“Sis, I’m literally just getting started. Count yourself lucky that I don’t just move into a spare room in the palace and annoy you for the next 8 months.”

“Trust me, I would welcome you with open arms. I could use another sane person around here.”

“Girl, tell me about it! Who knew a one-year-old could cause so much trouble?”

While Tasha and Maya exchanged stories of their children’s mischief, T’Challa and Chadwick brought their run to an end. Chest heaving and short of breath, Chadwick could only stare at the vast waterfall and lake at the end of their journey. The soft crashing of the rushing water drowned out the harsh thud of his heart in his ears as he quietly surveyed the nature around him.

“The stories of its beauty do not compare to the real thing.” T’Challa’s baritone shook Chadwick from his trance. “My wife did just as you when I brought her here for the first time.”

“You gotta understand, man. We don’t have much like this in the States,” Chadwick laughed.

T’Challa joined Chadwick in his laughter, patting his back as they took in the scenery together. A few moments of silence settled between the two before the King spoke up.

“You know, it is not often that I make friends. I don’t get out much if you can not tell. The country requires a lot.”

Chadwick nodded, unsure if he should add to the conversation or allow T’Challa to finish his thought.  

“Before my wife, I would rarely leave my office. And, even though she forces me to interact with others and I have my cousin, it has been difficult to have a friend that understands me.”

“You’re preaching to the choir man,” Chadwick chuckled. “If it isn’t with T or the kids, I don’t see much.”

“The mantle of husband and father consumes us both,” T’Challa laughed. “I consider you a friend, Chadwick. A brother, even.”

“I appreciate that man. The feeling is mutual.”

The two exchanged a handshake and hug before turning to the extensive, beautiful forest in front of them.

“A tradition Maya brought here with her is the idea of godparents,” T’Challa started. “Both of our children have an entire village behind them. The twins have room for one more set. If you and Tasha are interested…”

T’Challa looked at Chadwick from the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction. The long silence and unreadable facial expression resting on Chadwick’s face made the king wish he’d waited for his wife like they had originally planned instead of jumping the gun in the heat of the moment.

“You being serious man? Of course, we’ll be their godparents!”

T’Challa let go of a huge breath of relief, “Oh thank Bast. Maya would’ve killed me if you said no. She told me to wait.”

“Man, we’d never say no to that. Mala and Abdul already feel like our niece and nephew. Why not add another set to the bunch.”

Loud laughter approaching their location signaled Maya and Tasha’s presence and started the wheels of mischief inside of their husbands’ minds.

“You wanna do a little acting, man,” Chadwick asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“I have learned a thing or two from Maya. What did you have in mind?”

Like two school children plotting trouble in the back of the classroom, Chadwick and T’Challa finalized a plan in time to find their wives walking into the clearing while having a spirited conversation of their own.

“Girl, we had sex up until the very end with Micah. I was insatiable!”

“You?! I was calling ‘Challa up out of meetings all day. I’m pretty sure he was hiding from me at one point.” The ladies shared a round of laughter that came to an abrupt when they noticed the forlorn expressions resting on nearly identical faces. “What’s going on with you two? Both of y’all standing there with long giraffe faces.”

“Wow, I tell him all the time he looks like a baby giraffe! He and Noah even have th-”

“Tasha,” Chadwick interrupted, shooting his wife a warning look that stopped her from speaking. “Now isn’t the time.”

CoCo threw up her hands in surrender before mumbling a quiet ‘my bad.’

Maya, who had rarely seen her man so upset, captured his face in her hands to examine his eyes. “What’s wrong, baby? What happened?”

“I, I did not list listen to you, Kitten.” T’Challa stole a moment to look at Chadwick for approval, earning a concealed thumbs up in response. “I asked Chadwick if he and Tasha would like to be godparents for the twins and...he said no.”

“What! Why wouldn’t you wait on me to ask, ‘Challa?!”

“I thought I could handle it alone, Kitten.”

Maya took in T’Challa’s explanation with wide, angry eyes before turning to CoCo who was already fixated on her husband.

“I wanted to be the one to tell her, Aaron.” Chadwick was caught off guard and visibly shaken by Tasha’s answer. Everyone shared his shock as all eye turned to CoCo, waiting for an explanation.

Turning to Maya, Tasha’s eyes went sad, “We just have a lot going on, Star. Micah’s getting more involved, Noah is turning one and-”

“So you...don’t want to be our children’s godparents. Is that what you’re saying to me, Co?”

“No, no, no,” Chadwick interrupted once he noticed the tears welling in Maya’s eyes. “That’s not what you mean, T, right? Right?”

Thick tension hung in the air for several long seconds has the couples tried to avoid eye contact. T’Challa pulled Maya to his side just as the tears began to fall, earning an apologetic look from Chadwick. When they planned to prank their wives, this wasn’t the way they intended it to go.

“Maya,” CoCo whispered to get her friends attention. The queen looked up at the sound of her name, wiping her tears while appearing to stifle an audible cry.

“Yes, Tasha.”

“I think we got ‘em.”

As if a switch was flipped, the once sullen atmosphere was filled with girlish giggles between Maya and Tasha as the husbands looked on in confusion.

“Wait. Hold on.”

“Was this a prank, Kitten,” T’Challa asked, finishing Chadwick’s sentence.

Their obvious and animated confusion only fueled another round of laughter that had both women doubled over in tears. Maya could see through T’Challa’s antics any day of the week, and all it took was a subtle hand gesture from one queen to another to put on a master in pranking your spouse.

Maya took a pause from her laughter to dab the tears from her eyes and grab T’Challa’s hand. “It sure as hell was. We got y’all good! I told you to leave the acting up to me, Challa. You’re getting better though. C’mon, Co. I have some facials planned for us and all the girls.”

“Ooh, the one with the little flecks of gold in them?”

“Flecks? Girl, we don’t do flecks. We’re putting that whole mug in 24 karats.”

“Is this what being a rich bitch feels like? Because I am here for it!”

As the women walked off, sharing the excitement of having much needed “mommy down time”, their husband’s were left gobsmacked in their dust.

“Chad.”

“Yeah, man.”

T’Challa turned to him, mouth still ajar in an effort to find the right words to convey his disbelief. “In America, there is a phrase you use. ‘Got played’ is it?”

“Yeah. That’s the one.”

“I believe that is what has happened. We just-”

“Got played. The sooner we act like it didn’t happen the better.”

“They will use this against us forever, huh?”

“You know it,” Chadwick answered, rocking back and forth on his heels. “C’mon, man. Race you back to the palace. Last one there is the one that takes the fall for this.”

“Wait! You forget I am the superhero! You just play one on television!”

-------------

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[survivenovascotia]

Episode 5 - they finally swapped us - Austin

I’m taking more of a leadership role on this tribe, trying to make more calls with the challenge. On a smaller tribe it is less risky to do that, and also more risky to go to tribal if people find a reason to target you its easy to get numbers. Dylan especially is a worry for me, in the past he has turned on me for absolutely no reason, so idk how much I can trust him. Dan seems ok, he gave us good intel about the other tribe. Still makes sense to vote him out if we go to tribal though lets not make enemies out of the og tribe just to save one guy.

Tribe swap. Honestly I’m not freakin out abt it bc I’ve got Stephen & Austin who’ve both been pretty good in challenges so. Hopefully I can Michelle my way to the merge Even seems chill he’s just got a russel hantz profile picture which is a lil susp Although I’ll admit I’m a lil sad this is a cooperative challenge bc I really don’t work well cooperatively. Especially when these people are choosing words like CAT and WASHINGTON DC have y’all never played scattergories the object is to get the most random ass answers. We can’t put Unagi that’s way too common, we gotta put UNI, which means sea urchin & is a delicacy. If someone else puts uni I would literally cry I’d be such a clown Xiomara? BITXH have y’all seen Jane the Virgin? Hell no!! We putting Serena spelled with an X. She’s a character in a short story I wrote it’s a real name look it up. Sorry to rant I just can’t believe one of these boys chose Cat. Cat. R u joking

So after 4 straight wins from my tribe they finally swapped us. Dylan, me, eric,and stephen from my og tribe long with dan from the other tribe. I like it and think we are gonna do well together.  Dan told me sunshine said I was trustworthy which I appreciated.  I dont wanna lose any challenges but if we do I feel maybe i should try and save dan? Idk i wanna be a lil more risky then i usually play in other games. Just gotta see what happens but idc to flip for my own game to do better.  

LOCK & MANCALA. LOCK & MANCALA mancala is like the most famous board game WHY did we choose that I said to go with Master Trainer: Pokémon why was that not CHOSEN I hope we lose so I can get voted out & be remembered as this seasons biggest bitch

My tummy is saying Fuck rn. I don't know how this tie breaker is gonna go

So what I am thinking it is going to be like is between Keegan and Coco but like Coco is my number 1 out here rn. Glo says she will protect me and Im trying to see what chips is feeling but I feel even when he says things Im like is this legit? Keegan wants to try working with me. I have to weigh my options but if I vote people from OG Musquodoboit tribe I upset everyone else there, if I vote Keegan, Who knows where on the totem pole I can be with the OG tribe.

It has been brought to my attention that the person I’ve been referring to as ‘even’ is actually dan. ukmmmmmmmmmmm okcay also MICHELLE let’s keep this Queen energy to the merge 😈😈

I think I’m cursed. This will be the fifth tribal council in a row I’m attending. Like how does this even happen? And of course I had to be dumb enough to step up and do the tie breaker which sent us to tribal. At first glance this could very well be the end of my game. Getting swap fucked is becoming a personality trait of mine at this point. However, Heather and I have been messaging and she said she’s going to talk to Chips and see about making a move to keep me in the game. I’m not sure who we’d vote out between Coco and Gloria but honestly I don’t care as long as I stay in the game.

Hosts, Admins and VL. I made a chart that went like 6 layers deep in before it would deadend and I’m like “oh okay it must be at the 6 layer mark”. Nope I got down to 8 layers (T1 was the first) and I feel like it’s either claimed or it’s down that path. In other news, my two biggest obstacles is the OG other tribe -_- me forgetting the other tribe’s name. The second obstacle is Kyle. Kyle thinks he runs the joint and I just play a “Sheeple” game when in reality I’m trying to make small moves to further myself in the game. Kyle and Livingston are close and Kyle, myself and Darcy are tight. Sunshine is the odd one out and a easy boot.

Update since recording, I think Chips is leaning more towards keeping Keegan oof im a swing vote then oof

Maybe I’m just getting massively played right now but I currently have an alliance chat with Heather and Chips and we’re deciding on voting Coco or Glo. And I have Coco asking me if I’d vote for Glo. Maybe I’m being bamboozled but this is actually looking a little bit promising for me staying in the game right now. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. The last time that did I got annihilated.

Did I just suggest a Chips blindside? I- don't know. I am AHHHH. I am in a bad position next round that's FOR SURE

So unfortunately we are going to tribal. At first I thought Keegan would be an easy vote BUT Chips started playing dirty. He made a chat with Heather&Keegan and tried to form "majority" with them. They were discussing whether to eliminate me or Glo. I'm not having it. Heather and I came up with the plan to blindside Chips because he probably wouldn't see it coming. I kept telling Chips I was SO worried,SO nervous because none is talking to me but it's just all an act. Hopefully we can get rid of either Chips or Keegan tonight and even flush an idol if they use it on Keegan.

So ummm, Operation Chips Gone is under way. I am HELLA nervous! Idk if this is gonna work but I feel HELLA bad.

ok Chips has turned on me saying I am weak link on tribe and wants me voted out with Keegan staying safe, Heather and CoCO are in alliance with me and tipped me off. So our vote is CHIPS. but we all three fear the idol situation. So I may not survive but calling me weak link who beat Chips ass in Scavenger hunt and came from behind to do so lol yeppers Glo beat Chips. Anyways it might be good bye GLO GLO tonight and if so I did my best. That would be end for me I guess. <3 GLO <3

I think if we were on larger tribes and the challenge was different I might have thrown it. Bit as it is tribal only presents three options: a) vote out dan, which is not a big move or anything and is not going to change much. b) save dan, and vote out someone from my og tribe, which would piss off 8 other people I had ground work with, and c) Dan pulls something out of his ass and survives, voting one of us out. So yeah, no good scenarios for my long term game at tribal. However without it I can keep my relationships while also building new bridges with Dan that could help come merge and further.

If Glo is truly the vote tonight, I’m probably going to cry. Not even going to sugar coat it. I’ll be crying. She’s just so pure and so nice and just this incredible person. I’m trying to not let it sway my judgement too much. I’m tearing up just thinking about her leaving. But if Heather and Chips are being honest with me and not conspiring against me they’ve both said they’d vote for Glo. And all I need to do right now is stay in the game. Against all odds, I might just manage to stay in the game in a disasterous 4v1 swap. The biggest downside after this is getting Evan(?) back from Oak Island. I’m praying he’s not close with Heather and Chips or I might not survive another tribal.

So we got swapped onto a tribe of 5... and lost the first immunity challenge on that tribe. Keegan is the obvious vote since he got swapped onto our tribe. I'd rather not. Spent all day lying to Glo telling her I was going to vote him. If for some reason that's not the case and Glo doesn't go, cool. I got gamed. Also, I'm in an alliance chat with Heather and Keegan and lowkey I love it. I want to see this be a final 3 but I'm not going to get ahead of myself.

Conspiracy theory: coco, glo & Keegan voted out chips, heather on the outs. No fucking clue why but it’s the only thing that makes sense. This whole game is so scary I’m like watching blindsides & murdering happening & im just chillin on the sidelines

KEEGAN SURVIVED! I’m so happy for him! That’s all I wanted. Hopefully Keegan and Dan can make merge. I wanna throw the F14 immunity to send home Sunshine but that’s just a thought. I always said my two biggest obstacles were the OG other tribe and Kyle. That’s still true but maybe there’s hope for the first obstacle!

Oh damn, I didn’t see that coming. There are two possible situations here: 1) That Keegan managed to pull two votes in with promises and shit, and 2) That there was a pre-existing alliance against Chips (and others) that I wasn’t aware of. This is worrying, not only did I just lose someone I wanted to work with but it shows I’m not that aware of what’s going on. Not good.

I watched the tribal council. Keegan wasn’t even on the chopping block which is great. Glo seems like a lovely lady and seems easy to bond and manipulate. Great for me 🐍. Our alliance including Dan, with Keegan and his allies can make a strong group and potential majority. I feel like at merge I can play my cards right and secret pull strings.

Chips was voted out which is honestly a big surprise to me but at least I’m still here! Who survived a 4v1 Swap Fucking? This guy!

[wordsformendes]

Stages of Light ( Imagination )

A/N: This was an idea given to me by my best fricken friend @light-up-shawn and I loved writing it. I hope it’s not hard to understand, and I hope y'all like it. :’)

When you were little your favorite thing to do was go outside and play in the woods. Dig your feet into the dirt, and make your own flower crowns as if you were the earths one and only princess. You had such big dreams of becoming the most beautiful queen someday. Queen of nature, queen of the wind. This was only one of the many scenarios you had created in your head as a child. You also believed in mermaids, unicorns, dragons. There even came a time where you let your imagination run so wild, that you believed your father was actually a wizard, and your mother was a fairy that hid her wings during the day time, and opened them at night to soar through the upper atmosphere to catch stars.

Imagination.

There was that word again. Ever since you were young, you were literally told, by parents and teachers to use your imagination. And so you did, and it was majestic. That was, until you grew older. There suddenly came a time where the flowers didn’t speak to you, and the mermaids in the ocean didn’t come to visit you anymore. The fairy, and the wizard who raised you, changed into humans. So did you. You weren’t a princess and you never would be. It was then when you realized that using your imagination your whole life, was almost a waste of time. Why would people tell you to imagine things that were so unrealistic? Now whenever you used your imagination, you became sad. Or stressed, or upset that your mind would even have the audacity to imagine such stupid things, like dating the boy of your dreams, or receiving an amazing job offer. Those were all fantasies. They weren’t real.

——

You remember when you first saw him. You were sitting in your spot, over by the window in Barnes and Noble, your safe haven. Your hands became sweaty from holding onto your hot cup of coco and you had to wipe off your reading glasses with the sleeve of your sweater to make sure you weren’t going crazy. Sometimes the sugar from the coco puts you off a little. So you blinked twice and did a double take, but he was still there. Standing in the Teen Fiction section staring down all the books he saw. Suddenly there were crowds of girls around him, asking for a picture.

“Oh my gosh, that’s Shawn Mendes.”

“Shawn, I love you! Can we take a picture?”

Your quiet place was now a jungle of hungry animals going after their prey. Shawn Mendes was cute, and talented. But now he was ruining your peace, and you couldn’t focus. So you just rolled your eyes and scrolled through the news on your laptop. What was he doing in Barnes and Noble anyway? He didn’t seem like he’d have time to read or anything. But you pushed those thoughts away, trying not to judge him. You tried to ignore the chaos of girls jumping up and down as they wait to get a picture with Shawn. Soon enough though you noticed girls starting to walk away after their pictures were taken. There was some guy telling people to give Shawn more space, and to let him continue shopping or something. And so everyone was mostly gone, and Shawn was searching that same Teen Fiction aisle for some book. You were bored of your laptop so you got up and walked across the room over behind the counter to find a good book. Your aunt worked here, and she always had the new and unreleased books behind the front desk, and so you always got to read them before everyone else. You grabbed a random book from underneath the desk and stood up to see Shawn Mendes standing in front of you, in front of the counter with a confused look on his face. You froze, and you forced a small smile to be friendly before attempting to walk away, but before you could move your feet, he spoke.

“Hi, do you know where I could find that book called.. Oh geez, what’s it called? 13 Reasons Why? I’ve been looking for it, or at least I think I have. That’s a book right?” You scrunched up your nose trying to think of what to say.

“Oh, I don’t work here. I mean, I could still help you find it if you want but.. But yeah.” You felt like an idiot and you probably looked like one too. You tried not to get so flustered over a boy. He was just a boy who happened to be famous! Who cares!

“Oh, I’m sorry for assuming that you work here. I just noticed you were behind the desk. But um, yeah if you know where that book is, I’d love it if you showed me.”

"Yeah that's fine, just follow me." You said and walked out from behind the desk to show him where it was. "Just follow me" was never something you thought you'd say to a boy especially Shawn Mendes. You were psyching yourself out, looking behind you every couple minutes to see if Shawn was still following you and he was. His puppy eyes following the movement of your body as you walked over to the "Bestsellers" section.

"Here you go." You picked up the book and handed it to him.

"Ah man, I didn't even think to look in this section. Anyway, thank you. My sister wanted me to pick it up for her. I've never read it, is it good?" He took the book and started flipping through the pages.

"It's alright. I could tell you all about it but that might take some time." You laughed casually, trying to make it seem like you weren't socially awkward.

"That would be nice actually. I should know what my little sister is gunna be reading right?" Your eyes went wide and you stared at him not knowing how to respond. You were joking and the fact that he was serious scared you. Did he really want you to explain the story of that damn book? It wasn't exactly a happy topic and you couldn't even think of how'd you start to explain it without either tearing up, or stuttering the whole time.

"Uh, yeah sure!" You said with a smile, hiding your nervousness.

"Great! Should we go sit somewhere?" Shawn asked, looking at you with those puppy eyes of his. You just nodded and said the same thing you said last time, "Follow me." And then you were both sitting in your safe haven by the window, with hot coco. You talked for maybe twenty minutes about the book, and thankfully you made it through your summary of the story without breaking down. Eventually you got off track and started talking about other things. He went on about his life, and he even let you go on about your life. The whole time, you had totally forgotten that he was a famous superstar. All those stories you read in magazines about him, and those rumors you saw on Instagram, they weren't true. You remember letting your imagination come up with scenarios of who Shawn Mendes was. You did this with all famous people, or dead people, or just anyone you didn't actually know. You had your ideas and that stupid imagination of yours always came back into play. Ever since high school started, you tried your hardest not to let your imagination get in the way. This was reality and good things don't happen in reality right? This isn't a fairytale, and you aren't a princess. But as you sat with Shawn and just talked about random things, you felt different. You felt like you were in a fairytale again, like when you were 7. Shawn's down to earth personality humbled your scary reality, and he created this image in your head. The same image you used to have before high school age. The image of happiness, of fairytales, princesses and everything your imagination created. You only suddenly felt this way because he brought up the topic of your childhood, and after he finished talking about what he did as a kid you explained to him what you did.

"And so when I was a kid, I believed that as I grew older, I would shine brighter. My skin, my personality. I just wanted to be glowing. Princesses and fairies, they shine like sunlight right?" You said as you explained another one of your childish dreams.

"Believed?" Shawn looked up from his mug of coco and his eyes were on you.

"What?"

"You said it like you don't believe it anymore. I never knew you when you were younger, but I don't know.. I think you're shining pretty bright right now." He said before looking back down and acting like he didn't totally just flip your heart upside down. You smiled shyly and hid your face in hands. You didn't know how to respond. He had a point. Why did you ever stop believing in that? Why did you ever stop believing in anything? Because of the fear of it being crushed? Sure, but that doesn't mean there aren't things that can't be crushed. It's your imagination, therefore you have the power to control whatever it is your imagining. And you have the power to make it come true. Those stages of light you believed as a kid were something you could still believe now. And maybe you weren't a princess with a long pretty dress and a crown, but you were the princess of your own world with those black rimmed reading glasses you had on, and that fuzzy pink sweater. And maybe you wouldn't ever see your mothers fairy wings but that didn't mean they weren't there. Magic is only seen by those who believe right? You knew all of this, but all it took to reactivate it, all it took to reactivate your imagination was a book, and a cup of coco with Shawn Mendes.

[pitchandkozmotis]

For you actually, but your muses would also be so interesting to know more about!

0: Height Me: 5’2” Koz: 6’3” Pitch: 6’3”, but he can change his height to whatever he wants. When I write both muses together, he’s usually taller. 1: Age: Me: 19, almost 20 Koz: 36 Pitch: Old as dirt 2: Shoe size: Me: 8 1/2, 9 Koz: 11 Pitch: He makes his own shadow shoes 3: Do you smoke? Me: no Koz: used to in his army days Pitch: no 4: Do you drink? Me: not anymore Koz: when he drinks, he drinks a bit too heavily if he’s by himself. He’s better about it when he’s with people Pitch: he enjoys a good rum or brandy, but doesn’t drink too much 5: Do you take drugs? me: not anymore Koz: never Pitch: if he could he would 6: Age you get mistaken for Me: shit sometimes people confuse me for 21/22 Kozzy: he could get mistaken for 25, he takes care of himself Pitch: nobody can see him, so therefore who can mistake him for any age 7: Have tattoos? me: no Koz: he has a small tattoo on his left arm, upper inner arm, and it’s just a small tattoo of a shooting star pitch: same8: Want any tattoos? me: yes, I want a water color cherry blossom tree on the whole of my back, but I’m too weak 9: Got any piercings? Me: ears Koz: one ear, but it’s healed over Pitch: no 10: Want any piercings? Me; belly button, but I’m scared ;u; Koz and Pitch: no 11: Best friend? me: a friend who goes waaaaay back with me Koz: well, depends on the au, but it’s usually jack or pitch pitch: he doesn’t like people 12: Relationship status Me: single as a Pringle and too afraid to mingle Koz and Pitch: depends on Rp! 13: Biggest turn ons: Me: lots of things, but I like nice people who enjoy talking and kissing and not rushing things. Oh, and big stronk arms Koz: lovely eyes, soft hair, strong backs and arms Pitch: what doesn’t turn him off 14: Biggest turn offs: Me: it depends on how I feel, honestly, but people who chew with their mouths open and are rude Koz: same as me Pitch: people who breathe 15: Favorite movie: Me: Coco, Seven Pounds, Zodiac; I got a lot! Kozmotis: He really likes superhero movies, tbh Pitch: Scary Movie16: I’ll love you if... Me: If you’re genuinely nice to me and talk about interests with me; I love hearing about what people are passionate about! Kozmotis: rub his head and let him nap on your lap Pitch: give him something sweet and let him hunker on your lap like the angry cat he is 17: Someone you miss Me: I don’t know, I miss a lot of people Kozmotis: his wife Pitch: the man he used to be 18: Most traumatic experience Me: getting cheated on Kozmotis: opening the door and letting out the dream pirates Pitch: becoming what he was 19: A fact about your personality Me: I try my best to be kind because I think I’m a bad person Kozmotis: he tries not to be too serious because he’s had to deal with such serious things in his lives Pitch: he’s bitter because he gets glimpses of who he is, but he can’t tie it back to himself 20: What I hate most about myself Me: lol everything Kozmotis: Hates his scars, both mental and physical Pitch: he just honestly is the guy to look in the mirror and be like ‘wow you suck’21: What I love most about myself Me: the fact that I’m pretty okay at writing and drawing and I try hard to make people happy Kozmotis: loves that he made someone as lovely as his daughter Pitch: he loves and hates himself, so he loves the day he loves himself 22: What I want to be when I get older Me: animator or art teacher Kozmotis: he wanted to be a teacher but became a lawyer instead Pitch: a principal or librarian 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) Me: good Kozmotis and Pitch: don’t have siblings 24: My relationship with my parent(s) Me: decent Kozmotis: not good Pitch: no parents 25: My idea of a perfect date Me: watching Netflix and Indian food Kozmotis: going to the park and making a picnic for the one he loves Pitch: Ice cream date!!! 26: My biggest pet peeves: me: chewing with mouth open, smacking gum, SHOUTING FOR NO REASON Kozmotis: loud noises, loud chewers Pitch: people who breathe 27: A description of the girl/boy I like: Me: my friends!! I only have one in real life friend though Kozmotis and Pitch: depends on rp! 28: A description of the person I dislike the most: Me; my boss, the end Kozmotis: doesn’t really dislike people Pitch: Everyone 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend Me: I wanted to stay home Koz: doesn’t really lie Pitch; for fun 30: What I hate the most about work/school: me: I have to wake up so early and go out and talk to people I don’t like Kozmotis: he often doesn’t like the fact that people are so bitter at work sometimes Pitch: his job has too little fans 31: What my last text message says Me: Goodnight! Kozmotis: I love you Pitch: he threw his phone off a cliff when he couldn’t work it right 32: What words upset me the most Me: Failure Kozmotis: Curse words, to be honest Pitch: Being called an asshole 33: What words make me feel the best about myself: Me: Kindness! Kozmotis: Cuddle Pitch: Frighteningly Handsome 34: What I find attractive in women: Me: 👏👏👏 all women are queens Kozmotis: dark features Pitch: doesn’t really care 35: What I find attractive in men: me: strong backs, strong arms, strong chests, sharp features Kozmotis: lovely hands, soft skin, strong chests Pitch: doesn’t care 36: Where I would like to live: Me: Japan/England Kozmotis: England/Germany Pitch: Austria/Sweden 37: One of my insecurities: Me: I have anxiety, I’m always insecure Kozmotis: He’s worries about his appearance a lot more than he lets on Pitch: he hates himself so 38: My childhood career choice: me: animator Koz: pet or teacher Pitch: vet 39: My favorite ice cream flavor Me: Coffee, tiramisu Koz: Caramel With chocolate vanilla swirl Pitch: Zanzibar chocolate 40: Who I wish I could be: Me; anyone else lol Kozmotis: he’s content with just being him, thank you Pitch: a more well known spirit 41: Where I want to be right now: Me: With my best friend Kozmotis: with his daughter, reading Pitch: someplace warm 42: The last thing I ate: Me: Greek yogurt Kozmotis: poisoned Thai food Pitch: fear 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: Me: Tom Hiddleston 44: A random fact about anything Me: I’ve been drawing for about twelve years Kozmotis: he loves jogging Pitch: he loves making all sorts of creatures I THINK I DID IT