#it's so ugly from mobile im sorry

[lockwccdandco]

for @affcgato

Coming to New York was like some sort of fever dream that he never thought he'd actually accomplish. And now that he's here, he's starting to wish that he never had come. Everything is a million times different than back home in London. Coming to one of the largest cities in the world had seemed like such a good idea. A chance to see how other agencies across the pond handled the Problem, get new ideas, network, branch out... all the sorts of things he knows he needs to do more of at home before he can truly think about doing it abroad, but really... can he honestly be expected to pass up the chance like this? An expenses paid trip to New York because one of their recent clients had been a bit taken with him, sweet old dear. He couldn't, so when the opportunity had arisen, he'd jumped at it, leaving Lockwood and Co in George, Holly, and Lucy's capable hands. He hopes it won't all go up in flames before he gets back.

Especially now that he realises that they're... rather alone. Sure, the problem had seemed to be rather widespread, at least in Great Britain, but he'd assumed it would be a fully worldwide problem. The dead coming back in various forms... surely it couldn't be SO localised, could it? Though, thinking on it now, he realises that he has no idea when the last time he saw a report about the Problem outside of Great Britain. Maybe a few more isolated events throughout the Isles, but no... he doesnt think that he's ever heard of anything going beyond the borders of the UK. And making landfall in New York only to find no curfew, no agencies promoting their services, no agents purchasing weapons to use against the ghosts... it had made his head spin. No one seemed to have any clue what he was talking about when he mentions the Problem or agencies or anything of the like, aside from a few folks whose accents give away that their lives were not always spent here in the colonies. Even with death glows lighting up whole streets and Visitors running around at night... he's sure they've killed SOMEONE by now. How was no one noticing or doing anything about it?! Everything seemed to go on just as it always had for the people in the Big Apple.

Why did they call it that anyway?

The trip, being nothing like what he'd thought it would be, is leaving a bad taste in Lockwood's mouth and he finds himself looking forward to getting on that stupid plane to go back home next week. He's done silly touristy things and sent photos back to George and Lucy to fill his time, but honestly... he's bored.

So when he sees a young man, taller than himself in a surprising turn of events, with what appears to be the handle of a sword or something like it at his hip, he finds his own hand dropping to his disappointingly empty hip. Oh well, he's survived without his rapier before. And the ingredients to make basic salt bombs were easy enough to find, so he had a few on hand. Grinning at the idea of actually seeing someone who knew about the Problem and was doing something about it, Lockwood glances around to see if anyone else is watching before flicking his coat out behind himself -- Lucy would have called it dramatic and rolled her eyes -- and ran after the dark-haired man.

When he rounded a corner to catch up with him, Lockwood found himself looking at something like he'd never seen before in his life, trainers skidding on the pebbles loose on the pavement beneath him as he fought to stop his forward momentum, one hand plunging into his coat pocket to pull out a salt bomb.

"What the hell is THAT?!"

[partycatty]

I have this idea:

Johnny Cage x tomboy (can be gender neutral reader), I see the reader as a introvert, gamer, a bit of a nerd that prefers to wear comfy pants than elegant, tight dresses/skirts. Johnny likes to talk to them cause they can play games together (I believe that johnny being a bit of a gamer is a fact stated in mk1, when we have a Cage's Mansion tutorial?) and so he decided to invite reader to a red carpet event created because of the launch of his new movie. It's first time in their life to attend such thing and they really don't know what to do... (the rest is up to you, they can either fuck before the event while reader is trying to pick a good outfit or just go there and have fun or whatever<3)

johnny cage > zip me up

johnny's not used to seeing his best friend in anything but a hoodie and sweats. what happens when they have to dress outside of their comfort zone?

warnings: nsfw... :3, exhibitionism?, hardcore praising LOL, awkward reader (no rizz ...), reader is written as curvy? LONG POST LOL

notes: i physically cant write dom johnny without it sounding super ooc LOL ALSO!! im so sorry if the formatting is iffy, ive been forced to use desktop and the formatting is completely different than my usual mobile writing

masterlist

honestly, it's hard to gauge what games he'd actually play, so a part of me believes he mainly plays... mortal kombat. and yes, since he is canonically responsible for the franchise existing, he would main himself. or maybe he'd play fortnite, lord knows he'd have his own skin.

"come on, man! you can't keep picking general shao! you can just say you hate me," johnny groans, staring at the character select screen. his favorite thing was to drop tidbits about the characters and compare them to the real life counterparts. "i'm still mentally recovering from witnessing his ugly mug."

you chuckle and lean back in your chair, pulling your headset mic closer to your lips. "would you rather i picked one of your buddies? kenshi, or as you called him, sexy face two?"

"and now you're asking me to beat up my best friend," johnny sighs dramatically. you giggle, and it makes his heart flutter and cheeks redden. thankfully, today was a day your webcams were turned off so you were none the wiser. you make a comment that he's the one that wanted to play a game that features his real friends and actual enemies which earns yet another groan from him.

"if you're gonna be annoying, we could switch to something else?" you offer teasingly. "not my fault you choose to stare at yourself every game instead of learning combos."

"oh hush, you love me," johnny replies, earning a little peep from you out of surprise. he loved to push your buttons and flirt with you. it was in his personality, sure, but because of it you did have a massive crush on him. it was innocent and purehearted, but you just couldn't see yourself risking your great friendship over some silly feelings. "you love it when i'm difficult, don't lie to yourself."

"...shut up," you pathetically try to retort, sinking into your seat and fighting the flush on your face. "are we gonna run another round or what?"

"actually, i had something to ask of you," johnny says, tone suddenly serious and almost unreadable. you feel a pit in your stomach at his tone, wondering if maybe you're in trouble. your mind spirals as you nervously fidget in anticipation. "well, two things actually. could you turn your camera on so i can properly ask you?"

you shakily turn your camera on in discord, anxiously glancing between your monitors and camera lens. johnny smiles to himself, leaning forward get a closer look at you as if you were sitting across the table from him.

"good girl, there we go," he says encouragingly, making your thighs clench as you use your sleeves to hide your face. "no, come on, don't hide. here, let me-" he clicks on his own camera button and his webcam blinks to life. he smiles directly into the camera, and for a moment you're winded at the reminder that you're best friends with a celebrity. "-there. now it doesn't feel like i'm talking to my computer."

"well, you are-" you speak up, ready to go on one of your famous tech tangents. johnny holds up a single finger, shushing you instantly. as much as he'd love to hear your voice for hours on end, he wanted to squeeze out what he was going to say first.

"-hold your tongue, my dearest nerd," johnny quips with a wink. "my favor first." you tense up before he speaks up again. "i've got a movie coming out. finally, right? point is, cris is an absolute no-go, and my assistant couldn't find a damsel to hang off my arm in time for the red carpet. so, next best thing, i was wondering if... you'd be my plus one."

"i-i don't dress up, johnny," you protest, looking away. "all those cameras, all the shouting... not for me."

"it's not all bad," he insists with a smirk. "you'll have me. all you have to do is stay close to me and smile."

you stammer, trying to spill out more excuses for him to give in and stop asking.

"i don't have a dress-"

"i'll buy you twenty."

"nobody knows who i am-"

"eyes'll be on me."

"what if someone laughs at me?"

"doll, have you seen some of these hollywood clowns? you'll look just fine."

you tug at your hair, exasperated. he came prepared with every response, had every reason to bring you to the carpet. you wanted to say no, but truth be told, you missed johnny dearly. you don't get to see him in person often, given your medium distance and his constant work. a meek "fine" escapes your lips and johnny cheers to himself, his excitement painted all over his face. it made you warm how well he was at showing his appreciation at times.

"i knew i could count on you, sweetheart. this means the world to me. i'm getting you tomorrow at three, okay? we're gonna get you a nice dress, i'll get a matching suit tailored... oh, it'll be like prom all over again!" he's gesturing wildly as he hypes himself up over the plan.

"i never went to prom, johnny," you chuckle to yourself, eyes on your keyboard. "i wouldn't know the experience."

"well that's ridiculous," johnny looks surprised at this fact, for a reason you can't pinpoint. "i would have asked you if we knew each other then."

"i'm sure," you agree shyly, turning away to try and hide your blush. "i'll see you tomorrow, johnny."

"see you tomorrow, doll," he smiles at the camera again, and you catch a glimpse of it as you weakly return the expression. then, johnny leaves the call, leaving you huffing and blushing. he just asked you to be his plus one on the red carpet, for his movie, for his fans... all eyes will be on you. the thought terrifies you, but maybe you could push through for your friend. you were a software developer, mostly confined to your dimly lit bedroom. this was a whole new realm!

you roll around on your bed and kick your feet, wondering why you're always so awkward around him. if you fumble at all in public, your world might just fall apart. sleep doesn't come easy for you, but it eventually overpowers your anxiety.

sunlight creeps through your windows. despite your usual tendency to sleep in, your nerves shot you awake slightly earlier than that, and you tried your best to negate your shakiness through games and squeezing in any work projects you could make up - before a firm knock was at your apartment door.

you fly to the door and swing it open, excited to see the only man that gets your heart pumping. he's matching your energy with a cheesy grin, immediately charging at you to embrace you in a bear hug. his cologne makes you tingle as you breathe in his shirt fabric. when he pulls back, he chuckles to admire your attire. you're wearing your usual sweatpants, hoodie, and slippers.

"you clean up nice," he compliments you sarcastically. "it's nice to finally see you, honey." you shrug with a shy smile at his endless pet names. "let's get you into something more flattering, yeah?"

he encourages you to his car, it's one of his nice sports cars with his name printed across the seats. you always felt out of place in his luxurious lifestyle. however, even through the two hour car ride back to malibu, you found yourself familiar and comfortable alongside johnny.

"you didn't have to drive four hours just to see me," you insist quietly, voice muffled against the window as you admire the waters. "it's a lot of trouble for one night."

johnny seems to genuinely seem taken aback by your deprecating comment. he leans over and slides one hand on your knee, patting it gently.

"you know i'd do anything for you," he speaks in that dangerously low tone, stealing quick glances as he desperately tries to focus on the road. "i want you with me."

even after his comforting pat, his hand lingers for a moment, sliding up your thigh with feather touches. you cover your lips with your finger to muffle any whimpers that threatened to escape. you always hated how touchy he was, and by hated, you mean it turned you on embarrassingly easily. as the road straightens out, you realize he's staring directly at you with suspiciously blown out pupils, but snaps back into reality as quickly as you noticed. he clears his throat and removes his hand, settling them both back on the steering wheel.

perhaps he just missed me and wants to be closer, you thought. he's always clingy, he probably just... you're having a hard time justifying his needy glances. they looked off. it's been a stupidly long time since someone eyed you down like that.

after what felt like a thousand years, the city comes into view and johnny parks at a luxury outfit boutique. it's small, but the window mannequins alone make you swallow nervously.

it takes quite some time to decide on a dress, because you internally decide that every possible option is unflattering. each time johnny pulls a dress from the selection, you cringe and shake your head. the sleeves were either too long or too short, the skirt was too flowy or too loose, or the color wasn't quite right.

"how about i pick one for you?" johnny offers, a little exhausted at how difficult you were being. "you just go sit in the dressing room, i'll slide you a couple dresses and don't think too hard about this. you'll look great in anything, my dear."

you agreed with his idea. maybe it'd be best for the celebrity that's known to dress nice to put you in something that'll definitely turn heads and keep you confident. it was unfamiliar territory for you, after all, since the last flattering thing you wore was a one-piece swimsuit on a beach trip with your family.

after some time of fidgeting in the dressing room, johnny slides the curtain aside and greets you with a smile, his veiny arm holding about a dozen dresses. he's got his iconic shit-eating grin as it seems he has something devious in mind for you.

"don't look so afraid," johnny shrugs, nudging you playfully. "i'll treat you right, pinky promise." he holds up the first dress, a flowy one with off-the-shoulder sheer sleeves. it looks like something out of a fairytale, and you're reluctant to deny his suggestion when he's cheesing so damn hard. you smile back and shove him back behind the curtain, giving yourself space to change.

you slide into the dress, catching it on your hips momentarily but pulling it past without tearing it thankfully. when you pull it up to your chest, it takes quite a bit of tugging, seeing as the fabric isn't as stretchy compared to what you're used to. when you fall silent as you try to pull the dress up, johnny assumes you're ready and slides the curtain aside, stepping in eagerly.

"how's it-" he cuts himself off when he gets a good look at you. you're flushed from trying to squeeze into the fabric, and your breasts (that he didn't even know you had) were spilling out of the front. his lips get sucked inward as you witness the gears come to a screeching halt in his head. his eyes may have been hidden from his sunglasses, but you know for a fact he's checking you out. "i like that one." his voice is too monotonous for him to truly be emotionless. it's like it's taking every ounce of his being to be normal.

"i don't," you mumble, continuing your fruitless attempts much to johnny's delight as your boobs ripple with each pull. "i can't get the stupid zipper up in the back, either."

eager hands shoot out to you as johnny takes quick strides to stand behind you. your front is facing the mirror, your hands resting atop your breasts and eyes focused on the man behind you. when his head tilts town to get a good look at the zipper, you notice his eyes are far darker than the typical warm brown.

his hands fumble tremendously as he tries to keep his shit together. he uses one hand to keep the parts together and the other to get the zipper sliding.

the sudden jerk catches you off guard and you're far from balanced. thankfully, your palms press against the mirror to keep yourself upright, and johnny lurches forward as his grip is pulled with you. his hands fly to your waist to ensure he doesn't topple you over.

you would have gotten up like nothing happened, and maybe apologized, but during the scuffle you felt something hard and warm through your skirt. johnny's nose is tucked in the nape of your neck when you fully realize your predicament.

as you sputter out his name to call him out, you feel his lips smile against your back. his hands loosen momentarily, but don't pull away.

"uh, sorry, doll," he mumbles into your skin, not sounding all too apologetic. "pretty girls in dresses just... gets me goin'."

"i'm not pretty," you mutter, averting your gaze. johnny lifts his head and looks at your reflection incredulously.

"you're joking, right?" johnny replies, brows furrowed. "babe, look at yourself." he grabs your jaw from behind and angles your vision on your body. "i didn't know you were carrying all this. i almost want t'take you out and get you a whole new wardrobe just to get you out of those garbage bags you're always in. pardon my french doll, but you're fuckin' hot." as he speaks, his hand snakes down your throat, your shoulder, and then settling firmly on your hip, not even hiding the brief sweep he made against the flesh of your chest.

you're left staring in awe. he was always charming around you, but never outright flirting. you glance toward the curtain; what if someone heard all this? you swallow thickly, moving back to look at johnny apprehensively. he's biting his lower lip, suddenly thrusting more against your body, letting a shaky breath as his face is now buried in the crook of your neck as he tries to hold it together.

"you got me all riled up seeing you in that, you know," he warns you in a husky voice that dampens your panties. "so you can't say you aren't pretty. feel what you did to me." the air feels intensely different than it was when you guys were just friends. he's confessing something he'd implied to feel for quite some time, but you never envisioned the day it'd come to fruition. you can't really say you were complaining when he pulls your hips toward him, letting him use your ass to grind down on ever so slightly. your stillness throws him off for a moment, and he looks up at you through the mirror with concerned eyes. "you don't seem into this. i can stop."

"n-no!" you yelp out, sounding a little more desperate that you'd like to admit. "this is okay."

"just okay?"

"well, no, but - i'm sorry, i don't know what to say."

"do you want me to stop?"

"...no."

"good girl."

he presses a little harder against you, keeping you upright and stopping your knees from buckling with his rough hands. abruptly filled with a primal hunger, johnny tugs the long flowing skirt up in bunches, gripping it tightly to get a glorious view of your ass. this interaction was not prepared for, so you couldn't help but feel flustered when your boyshort panties are fully on display. johnny just chuckles to himself as he grabs a shameless handful of one of your asscheeks anyway, squeezing hard enough to leave red prints behind. you bite down on your lips to stop any noise from coming out, but a moan of surprise slips through.

johnny wraps one arm around your midsection for stability, and the other flies up to your lips to hold his palm over your mouth.

"if you want this, you're gonna stay quiet, is that clear?" he growls into your ear, head tilted toward you but eyes fixated on your reflection's eyes. all you can do is nod. "i'll show you how fuckin' pretty you are."

he slides your panties down with ease, expelling a shaky groan when he watches a trail of your wetness follow the fabric. his cock is swiftly freed from his dress pants and he slides his throbbing tip against your folds, creating a sopping sound to the trained ear. if the store was quiet enough, the entire building would know how soaked you were for your best friend. all you can do is whimper and gasp as your noises are muffled by his hand. johnny leans forward and gently shushes you, lips brushing against your ear.

"you can do it, princess," he assures you in that husky voice before holding intense eye contact in the mirror. "you look so good like this, don't you think?"

your pupils were blown out and your cheeks were stained a deep red as you're bent over for the actor. you didn't feel pretty, still. you felt... needy.

you pressed back against his cock, and it slips between your folds before catching on your aching hole, making you twitch. the sloppy friction makes johnny moan against your skin as he hungrily matches your movements. he slides his hand down and toys with your clit, wetting the area with your own juices which seems to be plentiful. he sticks two fingers inside, not bothering to ease you into the process at all. he needs you now, and if "now" is in a clothing store, then so be it. your pussy burns from the sudden stretching, but you take it because it makes him happy to see how eager you are for him.

"i should've put you in a dress sooner," he mutters, hazy eyes staring right through you as he relishes in the way your walls embrace his fingers. "you look beautiful, my dear. angelic. i wanna ruin you so bad, baby, but i can't. not here." his words already bring you closer, but as you feel the tension building inside he leaves you empty and sopping... but not for long.

his tip slides in with ease, and he has to bite down on your bare shoulder to stop himself from losing it entirely. it's the first time in a long time a pussy has been too good for him. he's stuck his dick anywhere and everywhere, but you take the cake. his bite deepens when he slowly but surely bottoms out, his own knees buckling at your gorgeous insides.

"mmf, so fucking good," he groans into your flesh, eyes clenching shut. "my pretty girl. all mine, yeah?" you nod lazily, too entranced in the fact that his cock is buried inside of you. you'd had sex before, but it had been quite some time. years. and his dick just felt impossibly big.

"i could stay like this forever," he mumbles, almost forgetting to thrust. you remind him quickly when you shake your ass needily. "ah, but i shouldn't. you deserve to feel good."

he pulls out slowly, admiring the thin coat of juice painting his shaft before thrusting back in. he's careful to move just enough to hit deep, but not enough to make the slapping sound too obvious.

"there you go," johnny encourages you as he starts to slowly pump into you. "you take me so well, so pretty with my dick buried in you."

you almost wanted to pinch yourself to see if you were dreaming. just yesterday, he was your duo in your favorite game. and now, he was fucking into you in public. the thought makes you dizzy and you have a hard time keeping your head upright, that is, until johnny pulls your face up to the mirror again, still muffling you with his palm. you want to say you're the one enjoying it most, but that might be johnny. his once cocky demeanor is now down the drain as he fights for his life to not cum with every second of friction. you were just so good, he's already pussydrunk. he seems to be living in his own heaven when he lazily peppers kisses and licks all around your back, neck, and shoulders, breathy whimpers and moans warming your skin up nicely.

his thrusts grow increasingly sloppy as he completely loses himself against you. his eyes are swapping between you and him in the mirror as he admires your wetness dripping down your thighs and splattering against his own front. he would be mad you were ruining his nice clothes, but he's just going to buy another suit with you anyway.

"you wanna cum on me, doll?" he huffs into your ear, letting go of his fear of the slapping noise and now progressively slamming into you harder and harder. "let me feel it, baby, i'm real close."

johnny's arms readjust, one snaking under your armpit and over your shoulder, and the other rhythmically swirling circles against your clit. what once was hungry groans is now turning into needy whimpers from the both of you as you cum simultaneously. your lower half feels warm as he cums deep inside of you, watching it drip and splatter out with every finishing thrust. your vision becomes tunneled as you see stars, head thrown back as each throb from the orgasm makes you forget you're in public entirely.

he holds you both there for a moment, breathing in your damp skin. you both feel dazed, but incredibly satisfied. johnny kisses your cheek from behind, dancing his way to the corner of your mouth and then captures your lips in a messy, brief kiss.

"you know i didn't need a dress to want you that bad, right?" johnny asks against your lips, his fingers brushing against your bare thighs. "i really do think you're beautiful. always have."

you nod, taking in a quick inhale of breath to gather yourself. "i wasn't sure before."

"well, i hope you are now," johnny chuckles, and kisses you again. "at least, i hope so - hey, hey -" the embrace stops as he steps back and notices his semen dripping down your leg. "don't get that on the carpet. and definitely don't get that on the dress. we're buying that one for the red carpet-" he checks his watch. "-that we're late to. shit."

he doesn't really regret it.

[larsthefishoil]

As I'm actively reflecting on the new hbomberguy video, but more specifically James Somerton, certain things are clicking into place with resounding clarity.

I've watched Somerton's videos for years. At first I thought he was kinda overly dramatic, and had outdated stances on how little lgbtq+ was seen in modern day. He always seemed to talk like we are still living in the danger of the 80s with staight/cis people's apathy and hatred. In truth the phobias have just shifted in how they present and things have genuinely improved in a sense.

But the thing that is actually getting to me rn is the misogyny thing. I think he actually injected really shitty thoughts into my brain that I absorbed like a fucking kitchen sponge. He's protectiveness over queer people but specifically gay men from "prevented white women" actually got to me. For over a year, I was walking around occasionally thinking about how "women are sneaking BL manga into their bedrooms and grotesquely drooling."- im not citing someone theres quoteation marks cause its a dumb thought. But i thought this because that's how bad Somerton made it seem.

But the thing that got me out of that head space was this video by talistheintrovert.

https://youtube.com/@talistheintrovert?si=vmpEa_TPP2UE9eQk - here's the link to her homepage on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/08pCrSBw5EY?si=bECaT_xC16IfN5TI - vid about Good Omens

https://youtu.be/zzSlRZhS_qY?si=unQzSbCQUaTqhSbv - Heartstopper vs. Only Friends

sorry for the ugly link I'm on mobile.

I forget their pronouns so I'm using they/them but I might be wrong. I watched a lot of their videos all at once, so a lot of their ideas interlinked between videos to connect points. But they frequently talked about how straight and queer people interact with queer media and the complexities that unfold. Their underlying message was always that an individual's sexuality doesn't matter when interacting with media when it comes to gatekeeping who gets to appreciate queer content. Still most people consuming are queer people, but straight cis people also benefit and that's okay, it's great even.

Talistheintrovert shooed away icky feelings of straight women fetishizing queer men, which was a fear I got from James Somerton!

Idk this is a long post, but hbomberguy's ending soliloquy about trying to find happiness kinda reminds me of the many countless queer YouTube channels- big and small. Most of us aren't clawing for the position of top dog and like Somerton and seem a lot happier dispit of everything going on nowadays.

Anyways, stay safe, be accepting, and cite your sources or else hbomberguy will have to crawl out of whatever hole he hides in for the better part of each year and make a five hour long video about you :/

[sunnnfish]

Due to the mental anguish I am rambling about tbhk. I WAS going to put this under a readmore but that keeps breaking the post on mobile so. Im sorry. Tons of spoilers for chapter 99. And like the whole series. You know how it is.

I feel like I need to make an itemized list because there’s so fucking much I need to talk about right now

The violence and parallels to tsukasa. I mean who can forget tsukasa prying mitsubas mouth open to feed him number 3s heart. Who knows what tsukasa’s intentions were but they weren’t necessarily bad— as we know now mitsuba needs to eat to survive plus number 3 was like a pretty big power boost that would keep him together for a longer time. So he likely just wanted mitsuba to live comfortably. BUT ALSO there’s the beginning of the chapter where tsukasa tells mitsuba to dig the heart out himself vs kou who gets it for him. Anyways. With kou here it clearly came from a similar place of wanting mitsuba to not disappear. There’s a desperation to it and fear and it’s one I personally actually know quite well. I’ve dealt with friends refusing to eat and take care of themselves and it is a violent frustrating feeling that just ends with crying after the anger fades. There’s a lot of confusion like. Why do you not care about yourself as much as I care about you. Anyways. His actions make a lot of sense to me bc I have felt and done the exact same things.

Me core ^

and THEN there’s mitsubas feelings of wanting to be fucking exorcised and going to the fucking minamoto household to do it there’s so much here hang on. Like. I think he went to the minamoto house for some sliver of hope. If he wanted to for sure disappear he probably could’ve waited it out or something better but he went to the place where, depending on who answered the door, he’d either die or be faced with fucking. Kou minamoto. And the fact the he chose to reveal himself to kou it’s like. Did you really want to disappear. Did you really. And then taking him out on a fucking date basically like. You don’t want to disappear do you. You just don’t want to be. This. He wants to be human. He wants someone who will understand him and. And. Kou so readily accepts and understands him. Even the parts he thinks are ugly or unworthy. Fuck.

AND THEN. Kous feeling of inadequacy and fearing that mitsuba trusts tsukasa more than him and connecting to the vision he saw in the red house. Whether he accepts it or not he wants mitsuba to need him. The red house showed him a mitsuba who told him that he needs kou that he wants kou to be a supernatural with him and he brushes it away knowing mitsuba would never say that to him. He tells himself that mitsuba would never trust him or want him like that but he wants it to be real and he’s still hurt when the real mitsuba won’t open up to him. And it all comes back to his overall self worth issues of wanting to be strong and dependable and worthy.

AND this is all under the context of Teru finally letting kou have some responsibility and telling him to go exorcise the low level spirit that came near their home and AaaaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU. KOU MINAMOTO……..

God its just. Kou minamoto cares about mitsuba so so so much and neither of them completely understand the gravity of it all. Also at this point hes said like 3 times that mitsuba is the root of all his worries. ALSO dont even get me started on the art and expressions this chapter. It’s so gorgeous like as always but. God. Also the keychains. Im gonna[blaring truck horn]

ALSO the way mitsuba says at the end like ‘you’d be lonely without me’ or whatever and kou almost looks shocked for a second like. Oh. And its like he thinks about it more and cries more because yeah, he would be lonely. He’s been lonely. Mitsuba somehow inexplicably became like his closest friend that knows everything about him and god he was lonely when mitsuba disappeared. The first time and the second. And he’s barely had time to process any of it because to everyone else around him mitsuba doesnt really. Matter. And because kou is so kind he is always putting everyone else’s problems in front of his own. The severance happens and it becomes a journey to help nene bring hanako and aoi back—next to no mention mitsuba aside from the leads to the red house, much less trying to find and save him too. The whole time theyre in the boundary to the far shore its all about hanako and nene and number 6. And there’s STILL the conversation about how to become a supernatural that he brought up with nene but noooooo we cant ever know anything about what kou wants. And like. It all comes back around this chapter because he so so selfishly wants mitsuba to live. One of the only things he lets himself want. And it aches. God. I wish i was any good or natural at prose writing because god the things i would write about minamoto kou. AND TO TOP IT OFF HES LIKE FUCKING 14 YEARS OLD…. Okay. Okay im done.

[squishranger]

AT LAST SEVERAL MONTHS OF BRAINROT COME TO FRUITION

here's a carrd for all tptmers who want to meet some Fun New Girls That I Made (it defaults you to the first girl, but the button leading to the second one is at the bottom... and at the bottom of the second girl's page... is a button leading back to the first! careful not to get stuck in an infinite loop.)

EDIT: OH GOD ITS SO UGLY ON MOBILE. USE YOUR COMPUTER PLEASE

the full designs, transcripts and screenshots of the carrd for mobile users, and other such ramblings are under the cut

REVERIE GIRL , she/they/cloud/dream/star/whatever suits your fancy, wants the world to spin both faster and slower than it does... if she had the gumption, they'd have everything she wanted by now, but they tend to only have the energy to lay in bed and think about lost times. she's a nostalgiacore girlie and she has little else to go off of in terms of defining who she is. (star's... basically just a self-insert.)

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: ohhhh my god what am i doing . i cant keep living like this. like its not even living im not even doing anything every morning i wake up and i regret i regret waking up i dont want to wake up but how am i ever supposed to live if i cant do anything other than stare at the ceiling and pretend things are better than they are ??? at this point i'd rather give up. live in my daydream forever with my friends and my cat whos been dead for like two years now i think but i wanna go back to her i wanna go somewhere else. i havent given a shit about reality in fucking forever im so done with it but some part of me wants to live. maybe even get out of my fucking parents house. get a job learn to drive be a person or something. but i'm so stuck. i just hurt all the time. i dont know what part of my heart to follow. i dont know what to do. i can't just go back to bed this time i can't…. i can't…. i always tell myself that and then i do. i need to make up my mind.

CARRIER GIRL, she/he/they/it, has been abandoned by everyone who ever loved her. though she lives a generally stable life, it's a distinctly lonely one, and it isn't enough for her. there is something yet to be fulfilled. some kind of desire. she only wants to feel as loved as she once was.

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: hello blog!! i got myself an iced matcha latte from my favorite local cafe today! it was really good. but it like, it got me thinking… will any little treat i buy myself ever make me feel better about how freakin' lonely i am?? man, i dunno why i started thinking like that… i get matcha all the dang time. so often they're starting to feel more like breadcrumbs. i think it'd taste like something again if i shared it with someone. i think i peaked in high school. that was when i had friends and before all that awful stuff happened and yeah maybe i wasn't doing great but i had people. and then they all went to college or got married or had babies or something and… augh!! i can't be bitter!! they're living their best life… just… without me. and now every time i reach out i get brushed off, pushed away… i want someone who won't leave me. will i ever have someone who won't leave me? maybe i won't. maybe i should just accept that. everyone always leaves. i've been nothing but kind to people, i really think that, so what am I doing wrong? ohh boy this one really spiraled outta control didn't it… sorry ;-; i'm just gonna save it and go think for a bittt….

THIS WAS A VERY FUN EXERCISE for character design and branching out with my art style (i did in fact draw both of these characters.. it's probably pretty obvious but i tried to make them look like they were sorta drawn in different styles like the canon girls bc it's cool i think. if that makes sense JSDFJSDF) and coming up with metaphors, i actually had so many other girl ideas that got scrapped for one reason or another, and only two came out unscathed... there may be more... in the future... as for songs, i don't know if that'll ever happen. i have most of the tools, aside from voice synth, so i'd probably just use my own voice. which might be CRINGEEE (ironic statement) so we'll see how that goes!! ^^' don't... don't count on it...

[hana-the-ghostieee]

alright alright alright iiiiiii had An Idea that i might want to share with the world it just came to me a week ago and took it's sweet time running around my head but i don't want to just dump this all on the one poor friend i have that has to know everything about me sooooooooooo. here. featuring a very silly rui & tsukasa cuz i enjoy their dynamic (whether it be platonic or romantic :P they're silly little guys and i like em for it)

okay. so you know the song Che- Che- Check, 1! 2! by WADATAKEAKI or KurageP, right? the same dude that made Chururira Chururira Daddadda! if you were wondering. (all of you wxs fans probably know where i'm going with this.)

i kind of want to hear a Rui and Tsukasa cover, kind of like the Self-cover that takeaki himself did. i know the song is about being a student that's just falling really hard for your teacher but i want to hear them do it *only* and i mean *ONLY* for the whole 1, 2 joke (cuz YEAH that's what i'm here for that's the only reason i made this post)

from the cut things are ruikasa (romantically, not platonically) so if you aren't into that. sorry you got my point you may leave now.

edit: i originally did this on computer but posted it on mobile and ??? it deleted my changes (you know. content descriptions and tags and such) so uhm mhm.

(alright now that they're gone, you guys are my favorites. hi fellow ruikasaer here is where things get ~ juicy ~)

ooh ooh but. if there's a 2dmv. the part where the lyrics go "That's why I'll go do something bad/I'll sneak into the broadcast room in lunch break and play it" is yet another prank, where our weirdo wombo combo sneak into the broadcast room and just play. not sure. silly random noises i guess. idk but instead of going to plan. muehehe. sorry for the evil laugh uhm.

(or maybe they walked around school just recording people say happy birthday or something to nene because well let's have them do something nice for once instead of blasting confetti-filled cannons left, right and center)

whoever's plugging the audio in for the *whole* school to hear. instead of playing said silly random noises. manages to instead. play a recording of his confessions of love to his partner in crime. and you can tell he had background assistance cuz in the back emu and nene are going "wooaaahhhhh☆!!! he's gonna love this!!! it's really mooshy-wooshy and warm!!!" and "...yeah, i guess saying he's the star that lights up the dark void that once was your universe would work. good luck."

ooh or they get caught but one of them forgets their phone and then. after the silly random noises end. the whole school hears the most sappy, sickening confession ever. and rui's just sitting in the back, realizing he forgot his phone in the broadcast room, knowing he left it on autoplay, and he can't do anything but sit in this pool of dread and regret

anyways yeah uhmm that's all i have nothing left to share :P

and then of course the whole school teases them into next year. including the teachers. apparently being boyfriends come with a consequence. nene magically disappears for the next week or two and every time emu comes over during lunch break she gets really confused why everyone's just acting weird? where's nene-chan? what's going on between rui-kun and tsukasa-kun? did they fight again? no wait, i don't think you hold hands and call each other ruru and kasa after you fight... huhh??? whuhh??? bwuhh??? did they - *ugly breath in* OH MY GOD DID THEY CONFESS WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [she managed to give heart attacks to half the student body and staff with that one scream. i wrote this i would know. and if you want to manifest it into sound assume it sounds like that one KYAAAAA!!! she did from Positive☆Dance Time. im sorry]

[fideidefenswhore]

#re: the villain and choice aspects#kinda feeds into how the ableism and fatphobia always jump out#especially during the later years of Henry’s reign#his weight and disability are often presented as utterly repellent#and sometimes even treated like physical manifestations of his character/behaviour

[...]

#and it’s very sad but also interesting that his body - already often constructed as repulsive - becomes more so and he is dehumanised#when he is shown as a sexual being#‘he’s fat and disabled and I hate him and he’s having sex?? I’m gonna scream and cry and throw up!!!!!’#and the implication of course is that Katherine had it inflicted upon her#I mean later in the reign there are obviously Other Reasons she might not have wanted to sleep with him#and I’m not saying it was the easiest or best sex in the world#but she did marry Henry.. having looked at him?#his physicality wouldn’t have been a surprise to her?#so would be nice if we could just lay off the idea of his body as something to suffer through?#and presenting these things as karma for his actions#and just generally being ableist and fatphobic about him  

yeah, i think there’s a few things to address that they sort of allude to; what’s maybe the most pertinent question that no one seems to be asking in relation to ‘was there a body double for that specific scene’ (since i’ve now come across that turning up in two reviews); is, why cast jude law in a fat suit, and (possibly) a body double for his sex scenes, rather than...an actor whose body type is similar to henry viii’s in the 1540s? by the end of his life he was around 28 stone. casting/directors often hem and haw when presented with this question (i mean, i have yet to see anyone even ask it of him, unfortunately since the 2010s sycophancy and soft-ball questions seem to have become more the standard re: interviews); insisting there simply aren’t so many actors to choose from, which is ofc ridiculous, as there are certainly many in theatre and opera. 

frankly, unless you have scenes of that character in flashback and want them to be of the same face, different body type (and that’s affording benefit of the doubt), there’s very little in the way of credibly legitimate reasons to cast a thin actor to wear a fat suit. even that’s generous, because usually productions will just cast another actor to play a younger version of the character that resembles the original. 

and no, it wouldn’t have been such a shock to her; moreover there’s not really much by contemporary report to even suggest henry was considered ‘ugly’ in 1543 (i would liken this to modern celebrity culture...royals had access to the best in the way of clothes and medical care; probably some celebrities nowadays would similarly seem/appear more ‘average’, or more their age, without all their bells and whistles). there was reginald pole, and he might have heard it from others, but he had been gone from england for years by that point. those that wanted him dead or usurped would mention the injury to his leg in hopes it would hasten his death; but there wasn’t that visceral disgust and when there was (this is 1530s, but ‘better he would be buried in his swaddling clothes’) it doesn’t refer to his appearance or weight. there’s less contemporary praise of his appearance in the 1530s than there was in the 1520s and 1510s, but since there’s not much in the way of denigration, either, the context would suggest this can be more attributed to the schism, and earlier than that, as being from opponents of the great matter, as this was the last, caveated praise of henry (1531):

“tall of stature, very well formed, and of very handsome presence, beyond measure affable [...] learned and accomplished, and most generous and kind, and were it not that he now seeks to repudiate his wife, after having lived with her for 22 years, he would be no less perfectly good, and equally prudent [...] but this thing detracts greatly from his merits, as there is now living with him a young woman of noble birth, though many say of bad character, whose will is law to him, and he is expected to marry her, should the divorce take place”)

i would never go so far as to suggest 16c contemporaries were more ‘enlightened’ when it came to judging physical appearance, or weight (contemporary remarks about coa’s weight gain, for example, are pretty brutal and cruel), but there are suggestions that weight in particular wasn’t necessarily judged in ways that are compatible with modern judgements. chapuys made the bizarre remark that katherine howard, during her imprisonment, was “fatter and more beautiful than ever”, but this would suggest that the two were not necessarily considered mutually exclusive in contemporary opinion. de marillac referred to henry as “very stout and daily growing heavier, much resembling his maternal grandfather, king edward,” but edward iv was considered handsome by contemporaries. in 1543 (while kparr was queen), the secretary to the duke of najera, despite critcizing henry’s ‘false opinions’ of religion, referred to him as “a man of great authority and beauty”.

i’ve also unfortunately come across many reviews mentioning that this is a visceral portrayal of henry’s ‘gluttony’, and yet, as glenn richardson has pointed out, “there is only one specific reference to henry eating too much in all of the more than 20 volumes of the letters and papers of his reign.”

It’s a watchable piece of faux history, but the movie does not know what to do with its own heroine, content to leave her to the clutches of its villain: Henry.

yeah, i don’t think i’m going to be a fan of this one. 

[limpfisted]

#LIMPFISTED. LUCIFER GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PRAYED TO GOD, HIS FATHER, THE FATHER OF ALL THE ANGELS. HE WANTED PSALMS AND SONGS AND SUNSETS. HE WANTED DREAMS AND FAIRY TALES, A PARADISE LOST, BECAUSE IT HAD NOT YET BEEN MADE. HE WANTED ADVENTURE, HE WANTED PRAISE, HE WANTED JUSTICE, HE WANTED POWER—AND IN GOD’S DEFENSE, HE GOT IT AS THE GATE LOCKED BEHIND HIM.

DID IT HURT, WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN? WHEN YOUR FATHER WOULD RATHER BANISH YOU THAN LOOK YOU IN THE EYE?

THE CLOCK HAS STRUCK MIDNIGHT, THE SHARDS OF THE GLASS SLIPPER CUT INTO YOUR SAWED OFF HEEL, THE UGLY DUCKLING HAS EMERGED FROM HIS SHELL AND AWAKENED A BLACK SWAN.

What are you waiting for?! LET’S START OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

LET’S MAKE A PACT !!!!

indie wyll ravengard: mobile doc / print layout doc. herbert sherbert, 25+, they/them. brief rules under the cut.

screenshot base credit: @/laceratiio (follow them we stan!)

20+ only. don’t be nasty, don’t be gross, i like horror, i like dark themes, i don’t like Bad things, but also sometimes bad things are a part of the characters trauma and we can talk about it and write about it! also: i sometimes write toxic relationships/situationships between consenting adults. there are sometimes age gaps, wyll is 24 on this blog, but age gaps happen, don’t follow if you don’t like it man.

i like a lot of your ooc posts if we’re mutuals! tell me to knock it off if u dont like it! however, if u like all my posts, i will be ur online rp bestie and personal court jester (tho we will be keeping safe professional online boundaries in place lol, i want us to be mutual fans of each other’s art, we do NOT have to share personal details.)

discord i only give out rarely. tumblr ims are best. i love to plot, i love to talk, hit up my ims!

i write about bodily harm and canon characters trauma! all astarion trauma is tagged astarion tw! all suggestive content is tagged suggestive te, nsft, and nsfw! ask me to tag whatever u like, but i may forget! oopsie doopsies! give me the benefit of the doubt.

MY ICONS ALL HAVE A BIG CLOSE-UP OF AN EYE. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE ICONS, JUST DON’T FOLLOW. I’m not tagging it, so sorry pal.

my wyll is transmasc and non-binary, he/him, he identifies as “a blade”, you can use any “gendered terms” for him!

alright i said this was gonna be brief. jesus christ.

[the-scariest-stew]

I’m on ugly ass mobile rn so whatever but I feel the need to document this experience

I’m taking the max in to meet a coworker so we can take revenge on sinful ducks and feast and I’m dressed pretry queer, I got rainbow bracelets, hippy style, bow in my hair, fishbone hair clip, etc. also my hair is green

I see a guy, old enough to be my dad, he’s wearing a rainbow hat and shirt and he’s dressed pretty gay. He comes over and sits by me, and we start chatting, we’re complimenting eachother as styles, etc.

I’m like woo!! Fellow queer, sticking together on public transit, gotta look out for eachother, he was super nice and friendly

Then he asked how old I am, and I’m like- less than a week from turning 18, I tell him that, and he’s immediately like “OH WOOPS!” And gets up and moves !!!

Like dude I had NO idea that was a flirting situation, I don’t look NOWHERE near your age and I’m sorry!!! I wasn’t flirting!!! ACK

Anyway ig it’s better that they get the ick about someone young than being ok with it, but this. Happens. So. Much

I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY JAILBAITIJG IM SO SORRY TO GWYNETH FROM THE GARLIC BREAD PICNIC AND COREY FROM NEW ORLEANS

Also welcome to Portland corey I hope u have a good time and find someone your age

[subtlesolitude-tailoredtaste]

You ever make a permanent mistake and try everything in your power to correct it and or lessen the damage like holding gauze to an open blood spewing wound?

My mother has done this since she fled on foot for refuge like so many others. Ended up married choosing the worst piece of shit due to indecisiveness and survivors remorse just to give birth to a sorry piece of shit both made her so sad so mad we brought her down to our piece of shit being.

lol I laugh bc I’m exhausted. I laugh in gut wrenching heart break bc I should have stayed away when I got away.

I shouldn’t have committed sacrifice for a mother who is saying I did I do it wrong. I don’t listen.now I can’t even hear my own voice the voice that I loved and kicked it with and grew with for 3 decades “. I swear to God I wish I committed suicide. Easy peasy lemon squeeze. What a fucking waste. I’m so sorry

Sacrificed 2 lifetimes worked like a dog stayed in the house like a dog all for fucking ugly ass butt fuck African hillbillies and African wannabe whites all security all upward mobility blood tears sweat beatings assaults traumas deaths for your family to piss it all away lie for 30 years have me think solid foundation Beneath my feet to follow my dreams HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAJJAJAJHAHAHSHSHSND

DONT EVER TAKE ME BACK TO WHERE MY MOTHER AND FATHER ARE FROM, WHERE ANY OF THEIR FAMILY IS. I WILL END THEM I WILL END THERE LAND I WILL END THEIR BLOOD SUCKING HELP FROM MY MOM. I WILL FIND ANY CHINAMEN TO END THEM ALL. I WILL SELL THEM TO A LIFE OF PAIN TEST REGRET DISSAPOINTMENT GETTING SCREWED OVER. I WONT STOP THERE END THE FUCKING COUNTRY END THEIR TRIBES END THEIR WHOLE FUCKING SHIT LIKE THEY ENDED OURS. FUCK ETHIOPIA FUCK ETHIOPIANS FUCK THE TPLF AND ALL ITS PPLS FUCK PRETENTIOUS PERFORMATIVE PIECES OF SHIT AMHARA.

TAKE IT ASIA TAKE IT EUROPE TAKE IT ARABS TAKE IT UAE TAKE IT RAPE IT ROB IT. WONT BE ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THEIR OWN PPL DO TO IT.

IM DONE LISTENING TO MOM LISTEN TO WAR SINCE GODDAMN 1999. That’s all she does with tech and her time. NOT ONE PENNY OF MINE WILL GO TO THAT SHITHOLE. IDC IDC IDC.

Empires are falling racists and rapists emboldened and out here everywhere. lol fuck it one good day, if I am lucky one good consistent week, if I’m blessed one good month. If not, I AM NOT PERFECT but. I HAVE BEEN PATIENT. No more. God have mercy on my soul. Fury like fire in my veins. Lividness I pray will propel me to live an autonomous life for me and live it as a gift.

SUCCESSION ▸ no, i’m what’s left

[fkyumerica]

our gay family raped her to rob her, no they did not get a chance in hell and its not letting you live either, small fat asses from affairs, bump her from the back in, why dont you shut the fuck up, now we can rob him

arethra franklin and martin luther king jr are your family, aaron rodgers, "my tshirt says something i wont learn to read had a kid under five" is not hot, is that what the face is? yes.

fat fucking wives

say it up there

to a winner

you lost?

had to reverse back fuck it back up to you to want to be it

mated under 2

she was at 5

had to nonstop drive through take her for food

she couldent make it

no matter what they beg after

fake arab shit (I mourned her I rubbed my face crying)

she'd show off with men who mated more than one

and loved to stay

for a hit

for black eyes

to men

to fucking come over

to men who got hit

to leave

trying to kill your wives

for the better of a holiday

to live a nice life

sorry your gay

she's gay for halloween to happen

sshe got timmy and devin wtf 4

to be it too i want 25 wives

they can lie for you to do it

he skeeted out

steve will fist fuck you up your ass

and jam banning

them from concerts

and there still, detroit, get in your building get shot by him

your grandpa

they will have to kill him

and you and your family if you gay fuck them over

again

under two

who

would you get the hell out of there

no one will fucking wait you

and men will fucking knife you till your dick comes off

and hey

no one thinks youre attractive

make me 950 and down size the house

now she knows me

gay

said it yesterday

find them yet

grand fucker

theft

saw your fat band

im gonna have to kill my grandchild

direct quote

from you

ivans grandpa

you fucked katie

and jo

and maude

wheres the beef

you shit in a burger

tko

from adam

bye

do you fuck two dumbs at him

to make it happen

affairs under 5

the age of 5

and skip back to who

gay for what

to get up and walk and not wait

1 2 and 3 bald and fake site

found who youre for

dont give birth right

you break in dons/

?

virgin mobiles dad?

he's here to fuck you up

fake dick brawl

thinks his is alive

she eats it so he fights

now get grand[a

pa

now eat him

then she eats her out

ooh ooh sing

our ugly child

got shot

wegot a chance

by them

a winner

he was gutted

in silence of the lambs

by them

now live life fucking your grandma

we shot your wife dead

[hereticallyeverafter]

Long Introspective on Character Affiliation, line break to protect from my unpopular/horrible taste in ships:

On mobile, sorry for any linebreak goofs or typos, Im smort honnest lol.

I know I sparked some outrage, or rather, Spicy Discourse, by discussing my Littlesansa shippage- not that I regret that necessarily lol I still believe it would be/have been a politically advantageous move, but I want you all to know that I did do some reflection on my taste in characters. I understand that out of context, my proposal is horrifying and I don't deny that, but I have noticed my peculiar affinities for Unhinged Characters, not just GoT related. I think I haveva better grip o why, so I need everyone to momentarily suspend their judgement for a sec, I'm invoking a Safe Space Barrier. None of this is an excuse for my taste in characters (and people because it extends to real life too, with the sort of consequences one might imagine lol), just an explanation.

Other "Problematic Ships" I stan are Sessrin- I still invoke Cultural Context on this one because historically speaking, in that era of Japan, etc etc.- and Jolysui, so very clearly I lean towards just plain weird men.

I know the meter by which one measures out a reasonable amount of empathy is broken inside me and that I tend to empathize and extend grace to those who don't deserve it. But after the recent stink, I began to connect some dots. Like I said, you think my ships are bad, you should see my life. I've always gravitated towards "weird" or difficult to love people and that trait has been perceived and taken advantage of plenty. I guess you could say I do it to myself to an extent- if someone is a known asshole, when the relationship inevitably crashes and burns, you always have the "out" of saying "at least I tried".

It's like trying to pet a snarling dog over and over. It doesn't matter what your intentions are, intention doesn't protect you from consequences when you know or can reasonably surmise that the animal - or, to extend the metaphor, person- is hurting or fearful. I have been that stupid.

I think the characters I like are just an extension of that, but within the comparative safety of a fictional universe lol.

I realized this and began to wonder if I really am that stupid- expecting my innocence to shelter me from consequence- or I'd there's more to dig through. At what point does naiveté cross into being manipulative? Think about it: You see someone with all these red flags and attempt to befriend them but keep getting hurt. You have put that person in an unwinnable position: either they are going to continue acting from a place of unhealed trauma that they aren't ready to face, or they will respond favorably but still be forced to confront their ugly track record. You can't love or force people into healing, and simply trying is asking for creating resentment whether they heal or not. Unconscious or not, that is manipulative behavior at worst, and manipulative regardless as a form of emotional self-harm on your part for instigating the situation at best.

I've come to realize that some degree of me has been manipulative in this way in the past from a lack of security. I think my ships of certain characters are a reflection of that, and my "broken empathy valve" is a self-preservation excuse, but also stems from my neurodivergence. A lot of people like to blame their ND-status on their bad behavior, but I have ADHD with autistic tendencies, so there IS some bleed-through. While I acknowledge where my "bad taste" stems from, recognizing it in real time is still difficult, and I thinks what's worse is, I tend to gravitate, as all NDs do- towards other ND people or ND-coded characters.

So a fictional character I simp for in the safety of Imagination Land might look Unhinged or Proplematic to the average NT layperson but to me, it makes sense. While the people I like are red flags, the one thing I can say, the green lining if you will, is that they lack pretense. Because their pain or limitations are so bare, when I inevitably get bitten, at least I CAN blame myself because I knew what I was getting into, they didn't lie about themselves. They didn't hide their intent. They didn't or couldn't mask.

I doubt anyone would read this or read this far, and I am afraid if someone does, they'll just roll their eyes and call it an excuse anyway. God forbid anyone enjoy anything. We can separate the art from the artist but not the art from the viewer. I can say my silly little ships are ultimately harmless but there are people who will argue that it's not, like I'm going to start advocating for child marriage or human/demon interbreeding. I only care about a person's ships insofar as what it reveals about them psychologically (hence the word wall) but I would never stoop to presume that they were actionable bc that's just such a weird leap to make. My bad taste in people wasn't or isn't informed by my "bad taste" in fictional characters; it's the other way around lol

[swinstudent]

digital dysmorphia is another issue we face...

#BeReal, is a new social media platform taken the world by storm

In my opinion, it came at the right time - a time of digital communities beginning repulsiveness towards fake filtered personalities, unrealistic beauty standards, unrealistic influencers lives and #catfishes. 

The app provides an almost opposing persona to #instagram, whereby notifications are released daily encouraging users to post in the moment, in order to realistically portray their day to day lives, with no filters offered on the platform… 

Filters are becoming a controversial topic today as almost all social media platforms provide and encourage users to modify their images, with the most discussed being facial filters that slim, blemish, add makeup and alter ones facial features all together. 

Snapchat is an example of this as, “Snapchat’s filters frequently spark controversy by slimming the jawlines and noses, enlarging the eyes and lips, and smoothing and lightening the complexions of millions of users.” (Barker, 2020)

(snapchat filters)

The current disapproval amongst many digital communities stems from the idealistic norm of utilising filters today, as evident through many peoples feeds,

"Instagram-style filters may make our selfies and photos of our everyday life seem unfamiliar, but the filter itself is repeated so often that the defamiliarisation effect wears off and becomes a cliché.” (Rettberg, 2014)

I've found, as an active social media user, and filter user myself, that there is a sense of predictability amongst what filters are in, what are out, when to use them, when not to and applications such as air-brush (utilised to blemish pimples, darken body tones, snatch jawlines etc.) are an often installed application on peoples phones, without questions. 

The common theme, however, is that I only personally know of females utilising these apps, as the world has set us up to thinking we need to look certain ways, it is clear, “women not only feel pressured to bodily compete with socially generated beauty standards, but to compete with their own image too” (Coy-Dibley, 2016)

  It is this normalisation, and this expectancy to conform to filters, and the ability to get away with them, that is single-handedly destroying self-confidence.

I’d have to admit, I often find myself worrying whether someone will still find me attractive in real life if their only interaction up until meeting is that of following me on social media, and I know this is a common theme amongst youth. This quote by Coy-Dibley, 2016 describes, exactly what i’m trying to put across,

“I suggest that digitized dysmorphia exists on a spectrum with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)” (Coy-Dibley, 2016)

Most importantly, filters don’t restrict solely to the ones we physically see embedded in images on our feed, there are also cultural filters, one being the filtering out moments of our lives on these platforms, in order to only highlight the best, or for some only the worst… 

“Our cultural filters, the rules and conventions that guide us, filter out possible modes of expression so subtly that we often are not even aware of all the things we do not see” (Rettberg, 2014)

References - 

Barker, Jessica. (2020). 'Making-up on mobile: The pretty filters and ugly implications of Snapchat'. Fashion, Style & Popular Culture. 7. 207-221.

Coy-Dibley, I. (July, 2016). “Digitised Dysmorphia” of the Female Body: The Re/Disfigurement of the Image. Palgrave Communications. 2:16040 doi: 10.1057/palcomms.2016.40

Rettberg J.W. (2014) 'Filtered Reality'. In: Seeing Ourselves Through Technology: How We Use Selfies, Blogs and Wearable Devices to See and Shape Ourselves. Palgrave Macmillan, London. 

[cheapxseats]

Hey everyone, not to sound like a bitch but please please PLEASE reblog ask memes and musing posts from the source rather than from me. I woke up this morning to 5 notifications and got super excited, only to find that it was reblogs of musing posts I'd queued for last night and it was a huge bummer.

I'm adding a tag to all my reblogs to remind people as well! I know it's easy to forget (I've done it once or twice too) but it's multiple people doing it regularly and it's especially frustrating when it's people that seem to have no interest in interacting with me.

I follow many ask meme resources and musing blogs that I can happily recommend if you need, so please don't treat me like one.

[cloudtrek]

i got a new dress and it really gets me in my cottagecore mood ft. two lil ladybirds from a walk i had a few weeks ago 🐞

[belladoniic]

hello.... how bout a shipping call maybe ???