#it's so soon after ted lasso fucked up too :(

[autumnrory]

i’ve seen people say they think riverdale is gonna use the multiverse to basically have all the pairings end up together and i kind of think they’re right and i think it is the stupidest thing i have ever heard

i would rather see a simple betty/jughead and veronica/archie endgame and HATE it than some stupid thing trying to make everybody happy like COMMIT to an ending oh my god

and like.......if that’s what you were gonna do we already knew we had a multiverse in our present day normal universe (that people are also saying we’ll never see again so like six seasons entirely undone for what???) so why couldn’t they do it there instead of being sent back to the 50s. if the whole comet thing is going to be significant again then at least okay they had to be sent back to the 50s but why couldn’t they stay adults? 

it’s just the closer we get to the end and the more random plotlines they do that serve zero purpose the more disappointed i feel. i know it’s riverdale, it’s not a show where you expect a lot of consistency from the writers or anything, but this season started out promising i thought and then it just got worse. and it sucks bc i think seasons 5 and 6 were pretty good bc they finally broke out of being all bughead/varchie all the time and allowed the characters to have other things in their lives and other relationships and all that postive growth and change has just been erased lol (and maybe i am just bitter bc we had barchie and jabitha and everything was glorious for a time)

like i’ve enjoyed seeing them playing around with all the different pairings, though they should’ve done it throughout the series, not at the very end lol, but that doesn’t mean i want to see all of them end up together sjkdkjfs it just seems like yet another show that’s fully fucking up in the end and it makes me sad after it’s brought me so much joy

[wufflesvetinari]

ok i'm going to write a ted lasso episode. whumpy but in the way canon can be whumpy. ready? here we go

it's early season 4. ted is back, with henry flying in soon to stay in richmond for a year. ted's set up his bedroom, stocked the apartment with Nerds (henry's favorite candy and a bit harder to find in the uk), even bought a goshdarn ps5. this is going to be great!

meanwhile, jamie has an extremely difficult session with dr. sharon where he ends up unexpectedly unpacking amsterdam for the first time. she did NOT know this was coming when he started telling her the plot of major motion picture the fault in our stars and she did NOT lead him into it as gracefully as she would have liked. you can tell that she's trying to end the session in a less raw place but it is NOT working because she lets him sob about stroopwafel for too long (in an attempt to end on positive memories with his mum) before realizing it's not about the fucking stroopwafel

when the hour is up he bolts out of there despite her best efforts. she drops her rock-solid professional neutrality, presses her forehead into her hands, and says "maybe fucked that one"

but you know what? jamie is handling it. he wakes up the next day, cleans all the snotty tissues off his bed, and comes up with a PLAN.

see, the thing is, he was WAY more stable when he was a prick. and he's practiced so hard NOT being a prick, so...it's overtraining, innit? he forgot to rest his emotion muscles so now he's raw everywhere and cries too much in therapy and wants to fucking scream all the time. so the obvious solution is to take a rest day from having emotions. easy!

and you know what makes it super easy to not have emotions? being a massive prick! it's fine. it's for his health!

MEANWHILE, ted wakes up to news that a storm's grounded henry's flight on a layover. and that something went wonky with his ticket so the airline couldn't immediately find his reservation/rebook him, which was super scary for henry bc the flight didn't have someone attending him the way they were supposed to. and as much as he wants to be with his dad it's already stressful to be leaving the US for a year

so everything's gone wrong, and he called ted like four times but ted slept through it. so by the time they connect henry's super stressed and kind of. yells at his dad for the first time.

so that's a bad start to the day! ted is so disoriented he brings the shopping bag of Nerds to work instead of his lunch

jamie shows up to the locker room having pasted his s1 body language onto his s3 self. he had meant to keep to himself today, but unfortunately his prick persona is an ENTIRE persona, and it doesn't super feel like a choice when he starts making snide comments and sneering at everyone. it feels a bit like one of those horror movies where you can't take the creepy devil mask off, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T, because feelings are absolutely not happening right now, which is! great! fine!

everyone is disturbed (except for ted who's caught in phone tree purgatory with british airways, sorting nerds by color on his desk). jamie insults colin's new threads, implies isaac can't handle the captaincy, turns down a high five from dani with a roll of his eyes, says hi to sam.......actually, he talks to sam completely normally. everyone makes vigorous questioning gestures at sam behind jamie's back. sam shrugs

it gets worse on the field, where the mood is already tense and darkens further when jamie refuses to help richard up after a tackle. beard and nate accuse roy of having given jamie the prick signal by accident somehow. roy denies it but starts second-guessing himself under scrutiny, trying to dissect whether jamie had interpreted the extra paprika he'd put in the curry when meal-prepping for jamie this week as a fucking. secret signal or something.

meanwhile ted is offering his life to british airways. indentured servitude. anything. he would take back 1776 on behalf of his people if he could. he is constantly on the verge of a panic attack and that REALLY bothers him, because it feels like all his progress is going up in smoke over henry hanging up on him

higgins finds him alone in his office gently thumping his head against the desk. "you know, you're such a great dad," ted tells him. "you've built a beautiful family. there's no...gnarly intergenerational emotional knots, no conflict in the House of Higgins. how do you do it?"

higgins blinks at him. "ted, dana knocked terry's tooth out last month. lindsay is a priest."

"well hey now, that's not inherently--"

"no, but it does suggest the presence of some interesting intergenerational emotional knots."

ted blinks up at him. higgins smiles; takes a seat. he says, "fathers and sons."

back outside, roy's starting to lose it. he's becoming honestly scared for jamie, but every time he tries to start a conversation jamie fucking...twists it into a fight, and roy fucking FALLS FOR IT like an IDIOT even though he knows better. because he's gotten out of practice dealing with Prick Jamie and also because jamie knows all of his weak spots now. it's freaking him the fuck out

and jamie is also starting to scream in his own head a little bit. like yeah he'd actively decided on Rest Day, but now he isn't sure how to stop doing Rest Day, and everybody is looking at him weird and that makes it worse, doesn't it, because his stupid lizard brain says he's under attack.

the prick persona is protective, so he keeps on pricking. ignores dr. sharon's phone call. ignores keeley's suspiciously-timed text about getting mimosas. ignores nate trying to give him a helpful-mean speech on the sidelines. ignores--well, no, he slaps sam on the back like usual.

can't be a dick to sam. it's sam, like.

roy mimes furious questions at sam, who's accepted this day for what it is and shrugs harder

ted's out on the sidelines by now, but he's still on the phone. he finally gets henry's ticket sorted, and calls him back in the airport. henry's in tears apologizing for yelling, but ted is just happy he's okay!! and he's going to be with him in london soon!! and...maybe ted didn't handle that perfectly, but it doesn't have to be some grand referendum on ted's parenting ability or his mental health. it's just a missed flight. slow progress is still progress. he's ok. they're both ok

practice ends. jamie slinks back into the locker room with everyone else. he changes into his street clothes lazily, dismissing any attempt to talk to him (ignores jan, ignores zoreaux, ignores roy, says "bye sam" - roy yells "fuck!" around the corner)

the locker room's almost empty. ted calls, "jamie, could you just stop by my office for one sec?"

jamie braces himself. ted fucking lasso is the last thing he needs. ted's the final boss of Rest Day. ted's going to say something that makes him feel fucking terrible about his behavior, and he's not even going to be able to apologize because he's fucking stuck like this, isn't he? like a car stuck in reverse. all he can do is go further back into prickdom: bluster his way through until ted gets fed up and sends him home.

he slams the door closed behind him. "so you got any pearls of wisdom for me, coach? some yoda shit? because i'm getting pretty tired of you pretending to be my fucking dad when we both know--"

"just wanted to give you these," ted says calmly, tossing him a ziploc bag. it's full of yellow Nerds. several little boxes' worth.

"what" jamie says

"i know you only like the yellow ones. needed something to do with my hands, so i sorted some out for you. we won't tell roy, ok? a little extra sugar never killed nobody. except i guess for diabetics, but, well--"

jamie stares at his bag of nerds. he stares harder. he bursts into tears and sinks onto the office floor.

after a beat, ted sits down there with him, waiting for him to get the words together--he babbles something about dr. sharon, and how bad today's been, and about how he really didn't mean to be awful and he thought he was over all this already--both over amsterdam and over treating his friends like this (ted has no idea what "amsterdam" means here but he nods sympathetically)

and he tells jamie about henry, and about how badly he panicked today, and about how progress isn't linear. and it's nice. and jamie gets a hug and puts himself together well enough to run out and catch up with the team for drinks

the rest of the coaches creep back into the office.

"how the fuck did you do that?" roy demands. he is texting jamie as he speaks. he will make him a big, bespoke breakfast tomorrow after their run and glower about it. he will fail to put any of these feelings into words. "how did you--fucking--manually override prick mode?"

nate's eyes are a little shiny for reasons that are NOT projection. "yeah, ted. i mean, things haven't always been smooth with you and jamie, but it's like you've...learned, over time, just what to say. i really do admire that about you."

"oh, well," ted says from the floor. he nods absently to himself, pushing his tongue around the inside of his cheek.

beard leans back in his chair. "you had no idea any of this was happening. you have no clue what we're talking about"

"nope,” ted says. "no, sir, i do not. just thought the kid would like some nerds"

"FUCK" roy says

[its-time-to-write]

What about Jaime liking someone who works at/owns a flower shop so he keeps making excuses to come in and get flowers? Richmond is real confused about why he’s giving away so many bouquets all of the sudden

(Ps I love love love your work! I’ve got it so I get an alert whenever you post because of how much I love it!)

this one turned out SO CUTE I hope you like it!

wishing on every one

You know you’re fucked as soon as he walks through the door of your shop. 

Then he tells you he’s looking for flowers for his mum who’s visiting him for the first time, and you know you’re extra fucked. 

He’s absolutely gorgeous, especially in the soft light streaming through your flower shop windows, framed by the vibrant hues of the plants lining the shelves.

Then he says, “I’m Jamie,” peers at your name tag, and tells you that you have a lovely name. You’re blushing the entire time you lead him around the shop, answering each one of his questions as best you can without stuttering. He cracks jokes, picks out a nice bunch, and leaves you one flower for yourself on his way out. 

And then, the next week, he comes back. 

Jamie Tartt, AFC Richmond’s star footballer, comes back to your shop and flirts with you again. 

Of course you know who he his, you knew the moment he stepped through the door. You live in Richmond after all, and you agree with the great Dani Rojas that here, football is life. It’s just hard to believe that your favorite footballer is back in your tiny little store and maybe sort of kinda definitely flirting with you.

You don’t let it get to your head (much). It’s Jamie Tartt, you’ve seen him on Lust Conquers All. To him, flirting is like breathing. You also don’t tell anyone, although you feel like you’re bursting inside. Your flat mate notes that you’re smiling more and that you always seem to be humming, and could you please maybe be careful when you’re skipping around because she just mopped the floor and doesn’t want you to slip. 

But Jamie Tartt keeps coming back; first once a week, then twice, then about every other day. He follows you around as you help him choose flowers for all kinds of occasions, and then he’a gone again, leaving you to wonder which time will be the last. 

—

At Nelson Road, things are in chaos. 

Ok, maybe chaos is too strong a word. Things are… out of the ordinary. 

Well, but things have been out of the ordinary ever since Ted Lasso showed up. 

Things are… weird. Yeah, that’s a good word. They’re weird. And “they,” refers to Jamie. 

It starts off simple enough. It's Sam’s birthday, so Jamie shows up with some flowers. He heard Sam say they were his favorites, so it makes sense that he’d bring them. No one notices anything. 

The next week, he’s brought some for Ms. Welton. 

“It’s for all the shit you do that we don’t know about,” he explains. “Didn’t want you to think we didn’t notice.”

Rebecca doesn’t comment on the double negative, just smiles and says, “Thank you, Jamie,” as Keeley sits forward on the couch in a slight state of shock. The Jamie she was with had never done something like that for her romantically, and here he is doing it platonically. Holy shit, he really has changed. 

Rebecca also doesn’t take the flowers to mean something they don’t. She knows that the team looks to her with the same respect they would afford an older sister or even a mother (although she is not old enough). Strangely, she doesn’t mind. It makes her feel loved in a way she’s unused to, and the flowers from Jamie hang upside down on her wall so they can be immortalized. 

Barely a week after that, he’s gotten some for Keeley. “It’s to make up for the ones I never got you,” he tells her. They’re all bright pink with fluffy petals. Keeley wraps her arms around Jamie with a squeal of delight. Roy grunts angrily, so Jamie pulls out a bunch of dark red and black flowers. “Didn’t leave you out, grandad,” he grins as Roy pretends to hate the bouquet. But even he isn’t cold-hearted enough to hate flowers.

Suddenly, people are getting flowers every other day. It’s become Jamie’s thing. Ted gets some sunflowers when he seems like he’s missing home a little extra. Will gets a bunch of sweet-smelling flowers that Jamie doesn’t know the name of, but he knows that purple one’s lavender because he remembers how you told him it reminded you of growing up. Dani gets a bundle of tulips and it almost makes him pass out from excitement, but luckily Isaac is there to catch him. 

Dani is firmly seated on the bench in the locker room and Jan Maas has removed all tulips except one, and now Isaac has the chance to turn to Jamie and ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind. 

“What gives, bruv?”

Those three words make Jamie turn bright red, but he shrugs it off with a laugh. 

“What, can’t get me best mates flowers?”

“It is a little better than the PS5s,” Richard says. There’s a chorus of agreement, much to the surprise of Coach Beard. 

Jamie thinks he’s in the clear and his face isn’t red anymore but then Dani says, “Jamie Tartt, why did you decide to give us flowers and not some other expensive gaming device?” and Jamie knows he’s completely and utterly fucked. He did not think this far. He has no excuse, no lie, so what comes out of his mouth is, “The flower shop girl’s fit,” and then the locker room completely descends into chaos. 

The boys are firing questions at Jamie faster than he can even understand them, and Ted’s just laughing at the pure pandemonium. He remembers similar moments when coaching other football teams, American ones, and the good feeling that comes along with “boys being boys,” in the way the phrase was originally intended. 

All pertinent information is successfully extracted from Jamie before the team heads home, except your name and which flower shop it is. Colin says that’s the most important bit, but Jamie refuses to tell them more than the fact that your laugh makes the sun shine brighter. Isaac nods thoughtfully and Roy shakes his head, but it’s with a fondness he reserves only for his team. 

It could be any shop, really. There are conversations across the parking lot of the best way to figure out which one it is and Jamie’s getting nervous when he hears Ted’s voice call his name.

He turns, and Ted hurries over to where Jamie’s car is parked. 

He carefully places a hand on Jamie’s shoulder (softly, unlike the crushing grip of his father) and looks Jamie straight in the eye. 

“Jamie, life’s too short to beat around the bush. You like her. I think it would be best if you rose to the occasion and just asked her out. I be-leaf in you, son. You just gotta get clover it and do what you gotta do.”

Jamie doesn’t pick on the flower puns until about the third one. He’s laughing a little bit and Ted is too, all while regarding Jamie with a soft look that Jamie always wished his father would give him. Ted pulls Jamie in for a hug and says, “In all seriousness man, we’re rooting for you.” 

Jamie gives him a look, which makes Ted hold up his hands in defense. “Alright, alright, I’m done,” he says. “For now.” Then he winks and headed to meet Coach Beard. 

—

It’s the middle of the afternoon when the bell on your door jingles, and you look up from the register hoping to see Jamie. 

Instead, you see a middle-aged man with a mustache smiling at you. 

He says, “Howdy,” in a way that is so very American, that you can’t help but break into a wide smile. 

“Hi!” you reply, “How can I help you?”

“My name’s Ted Lasso,” he says walking toward you. “I coach football here in Richmond.”

You’re still grinning. “I know who you are, Coach Lasso. I’m a big Richmond supporter. Have been since I was a kid.”

“Just Ted is fine,” says Just Ted. “I usually don’t like to introduce myself along with my job title because it makes me seem all uppity, but I thought it might make more sense if I did.”

You scrunch your nose in confusion so Ted says, “You were expecting to see Jamie today, is that right?”

You nod. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Jamie’s coach is in your flower shop and he knows that you like him and he’s probably going to tell you you can never see Jamie again because that’s the only logical reason he’s here, right? Maybe Jamie’s been skipping practice to be here with you and that all has to end now because football is life and you of all people should know that. Shit. 

Ted must be able to see the panic on your face because he shakes his head and says, “Don’t worry darlin’, it ain’t anything bad. I’m only here to let you know that boy’s got it down bad for you.”

Wait, what?

“Oh,” you reply. 

“Yeah, oh,” Ted chuckles. “Why’d you think he was here all the time?”

“I- I don’t know,” you say. “He flirts with everyone. I’m nothing extra special.”

Ted shakes his head again. “There’s where you’re wrong. You’re somethin’ extra special. Did you know I found you based on the way Jamie talked about you alone? He didn’t even give your name, but I’ve been in here once or twice myself and I must say, he was right when he said the sun shines a little brighter when you smile. I figured it had to be you the moment he said that.”

You’re smiling again. Jamie said that about you? To his coach?

Ted’s talking again. “Listen,” he says, a little more serious, “Jamie’s like a son to me. And sometimes dads need to give their sons a little push so they can get rid of their training wheels and just go for it, you know what I mean?” 

You’re at a loss but Ted just grins. “I got here exactly three minutes before the boys take a break for lunch, which means that Jamie should be in here-” the bell at the door jingles “-right about now.”

“Coach?” Jamie asks, looking very adorable and very confused. “What’re you doing here?”

Ted shrugs. “Sometimes dads gotta take things into their own hands. Give you a little extra boost, as it were. Figured you’d be in here forever before you got the guts to make a move and by then Nelson Road would be completely overrun by flowers. Not that that’s a bad thing,” he says with a glance to you. “Anyway. I’ll be on my merry little way. Beard’s saving me a seat at our favorite lunch spot.”

Ted waves a two finger goodbye and pats Jamie on the shoulder as he heads out the door, bell ringing behind him. 

“So,” you say, making your way around the counter over to Jamie. 

“So…” he replies, looking down at you. 

You take his hand. “Heard from a reliable source that you have a crush on me.”

Jamie grins. “Ain’t a crush babe, I’m a grown lad.  Think it’s somethin’ a little more real.”

“Uh huh,” you say, smiling back at him. “Well it just so happens that I also have a crush on you as well as a thirty-minute lunch break that starts right about now…”

[daydreamgoddess14]

Complaints Procedure

MASTERLIST

Roy Kent x F!Reader

Literally just 1.5k of pure filth. Sorry, not sorry?! 😅Taken from this prompt.

Inspired by this image:

~~~~~

You knew to avoid the locker room immediately before and after matches. The less than stellar performance of the team during the season had seemingly made everyone angry - even Sam was down. Jamie Tartt continued to annoy and degrade everyone who so much as glanced at him, and the so-called Captain looked about ready to throw in the towel. Getting rid of George Cartrick may have been a wise decision, but his replacement was certainly unorthodox. You had your work cut out for you in HR, it was like babysitting 2 year olds - they all still bit, kicked, and scratched. Seeing you always gave them the initiative to put complaints in, complaints that you had to be seen to legitimately deal with, even if dealing with it meant sitting the idiots involved down and giving them a telling off. You had never told off Roy Kent, though. The man terrified and turned you on in equal measure.

Just the low timbre of his voice made your heart pound and flooded your body with want. Training was long over, so you figured you were safe to take some paperwork down to Ted Lasso's office. Your heels clicked on the concrete as you made your way through the maze of rooms. Wage slips for the folks in the ticket office, holiday forms for the staff in the medical and treatment areas, and the weekly update on player relations that Ted had asked you to draft. Who was fighting with who, who had you had to threaten with suspension, and who you'd just had to give an arse kicking to. As you turn to leave Ted’s office, Roy is coming back in from the showers. With just a towel gripped in his hand. You look literally anywhere else. The ceiling tiles become particularly interesting. 

"Oi, what you doing in here?"

"Just dropping some paperwork off, no need to be rude."

"Sorry, just… thought I was alone, that's all." You drag your eyes from the ceiling to his, drawing an invisible line across his nose so you do not look any lower. "See something you like?" He teases, as if he knows it's taking all your will to not look at his chest or the towel. 

"Definitely not. I'm done now, I'll leave you to it." 

 

You're sure you must hold your breath on the walk from the locker room to your office because as soon as you shut the door, it all comes out in a whoooosh. As good-looking as he is, you can't stand his arrogance, dominance, and anger issues. You knew it was nothing new in football or in work at all, really. You'd seen every layer of the food chain, and it was always the top of the tree who thought they were gods gift. You knew he could be kind and thoughtful. You'd seen it for yourself with the younger, less experienced players and with fans too. It was definitely a certain calibre of person who set him off - the Jamie Tartts and George Cartricks of the world. You're still leaning against your office door when you feel and hear it knock. When it begins to open against your back, you have to jump out of the way so it can swing open. Fully clothed, Roy is on the other side. 

"Do I scare you?" He asked, frowning. 

"Course you don't scare me, I'm not a sodding child." You roll your eyes. "Did you need something?" 

"I might need to put in a complaint." You arch an eyebrow at him, 

"Really? Go on?" He took a step closer to you, so you take a step back. 

"I saw the way you looked at me downstairs -" you scoffed, 

"I did not look at you at all. I actively didn't look at you," you start, angry until you see the smirk. "Oh fuck off, did you come up here just for a laugh? I've got enough to deal with picking up 

after Jamie Tartt since he can't stop making everyone miserable." He holds up his hands in surrender. 

"Alright, alright, just a joke," he laughs a little. "You wanted to look though." 

"You are just like the other idiots. So full of your own self importance, you all think everyone wants you." He narrows his eyes and takes another step towards you.

"At the risk of sounding like any of those pricks, tell me you don't?"

"What makes you think-"

"Humour me." He looks at you like he might devour you at any moment, his eyes dark with just a hint of mirth. He knows what you think about when you see him. You feel your breath quicken, and the urge to press your thighs together is desperate, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction of being right. Before he can catch you in a lie, he forces you to take one final step back against your desk and leans down to capture your mouth in a messy, obscene kiss. 

 

The shock of it makes you gasp, giving him access to deepen the kiss. Your hands grip at his shoulders to keep him close, trying to get him even closer if it's possible. He leans you back against your desk, the edge of it digging into the back of your thighs while his hands are trying to touch as much of you as possible. By leaning back on the desk, he can kiss along your jawline. It would be impossible now to make out that you don't want him, your greedy hands roam up his arms and into his hair and the sighs and moans he's pulling from you with just a kiss are insane. The length of his body presses against the length of yours and you feel him hard against your hip. Feeling how much he wants you only makes you need him more. Your hand brushes across the front of his jeans, making him jerk to meet it. He breaks the kiss and watches you breathlessly as you move to undo the button in the waistband. You can tell he's about to ask if you're sure, so you place a soft kiss to his lips,

"I want you to fuck me," you tell him quietly. There is still just a hint of hesitation in your voice, but it's more a fear that he'll reject you than anything else. 

"Fucking hell." He sighs into you. He grips your hips and turns you to face the desk, you rest on your forearms. He has your skirt rucked up around your waist in no time at all and nudges your feet a little further apart. You don't have the time or inclination to feel embarrassed or to consider something more meaningful. The singular thought in your mind is having him inside you. You hear the tear of a condom wrapper and feel him at your core. His hand cups you first, wanting to check that you're ready. "You're so fucking wet," he mutters almost proudly. He gives your hip a little squeeze of warning and pushes inside you. 

"God, Roy yesss," you hiss as he fills you completely. Fully seated, he pauses just a minute to reach down and sweep your hair to one side so he can kiss your neck, "please, Roy-" you push back against him, desperate for more. He takes the hint and pounds into you over and over. He’s hitting exactly where you need him with each thrust, and it's enough to have you believing in some sort of deity. You can feel the pressure building and you're so close to the edge it's overwhelming. "I'm so close, please daddy-" the words tumble from you, unfiltered and unexpectedly - that is a brand new one for you, and when you feel his pace slow just slightly, you're terrified that you've repelled him. He moans low in his chest and redoubles his efforts, unyielding, until you come hard, crying out his name. 

"Say it again," he whispers against your ear, his body draped over your back. His hand reaches around to rub circles over your clit and you're so sensitive that the payback is almost immediate and you can feel another orgasm building. 

"Fuck, make me come again daddy," you beg. He does exactly that within seconds of you asking, his own release coming at the same time. He holds your hips while your legs shake, his forehead resting on the center of your back. He slips out of you and disposes of the condom before turning you gently to rest you back against the desk. You keep your head down, chin to chest, mortified at what's just happened until his nose nudges against yours and he kisses you softly. 

"Holy fucking shit, I should threaten to complain again, that was insane," he breathes, still holding your hips and trying to get you to look up at him. 

"I shouldn’t ha-"

"No, don't do that. You're definitely going to say it again," he chuckles against you, "I fucking promise you'll say it again." 

 

FIN

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS VIII | OPEN WOUND

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 7,743

summary: you and jamie have officially taken your relationship to the next level. but jamie still feels like he isn’t good enough for you. 

A/N: once again, thank you all for all of the patience as you waited for this long-delayed chapter, as well as everyone who reached out while i was under the weather. i love and apperciate all of you! this was a hard chapter to write, even now that i’m feeling better, so i hope it was worth the wait. icymi, thinking this is chapter 8 of 12 formal parts so we’re almost at the end, but i anticipate writing more drabbles set in this universe!💗

distractions masterlist | previous chapter

It wasn’t unusual that Jamie woke up before you, however it was usually when he had to meet up with Roy for training. This morning, though, once he opened his eyes and saw you sleeping peacefully beside him, there was no falling back asleep. He’d had the forethought to text Roy at some point last night to tell him he wouldn’t be able to make it to practice, knowing there was no chance he was leaving this bed without you.

Yesterday has been a rollercoaster for Jamie. After a few days of impending dread that you were going to end things with him after feeling you pulling away, you’d called and invited him over. The sound of your voice made his stomach flip and he’d had a shred of hope for the first time in weeks that maybe these feelings he’d developed for you weren’t one sided. Once deciding to go to your place after meeting with the team to fix up Sam’s restaurant, he was feeling confident enough to confess to you no matter what. He couldn’t let this go on any longer without you knowing what you meant to him. 

The nerves crept in when the boys and he were finishing up dinner, and he’d texted you to let you know he’d be over soon. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” he’d boldly texted only to regret doing so when he received no reply from you. 

You’d probably fallen asleep on the couch watching one of your shows, he’d told himself. He texted you one more time before he started driving to let you know he was on his way. By the time he reached your flat, there was still no word from you. It wasn’t like you to not respond, even over the past few weeks when things were rocky, you still never fully ignored him. You had to be asleep. 

He debated how loud he should knock, simultaneously not wanting to disturb you if you were in fact passed out on the couch, but also just wanting to at least be reassured you were alright. He ended up knocking at a normal volume, and was pleasantly surprised to hear your footsteps approach only moments later. A small smile instantly formed when he saw you, until he noticed that you looked like you’d been crying. He quickly moved to comfort you and his mind began racing with thoughts of what could have possibly made you so upset, and no matter what it was, he’d do anything to prevent it from happening again. 

You didn’t get the chance to explain when another person popped the bubble you two seemed to form whenever you were together. Upon processing that another man was in your home, his chest began to feel like a piano had dropped onto it. Who the fuck was this? He thankfully had enough sense to analyze the situation and see that whoever this was, was clearly upsetting you so he couldn’t let his thoughts get too carried away. But that didn’t stop him from feeling defensive. Jealous. Protective. 

As soon as the name Mason was uttered from the prick’s mouth, Jamie had to hold back from decking the guy across the face, for everything he did to you months ago, and for having the nerve to show up here and cause you any more distress. Then he had the nerve to call you ‘babe’ like he had any right to even be in the same room as you, let alone call you a term of endearment without any sense of affection behind it, only possessiveness. But he knew punching your ex wouldn’t make you feel any better.  

Somewhere in the midst of his quiet rage, and focus on your well-being, the other man accused the two of you of being together, and Jamie quickly realized this meant you must have told him about the two of you in some capacity. At that moment, he wasn’t sure if you’d used him as an excuse to kick your ex out, or if it was true, but it didn’t matter. All he knew was this asshole needed to get as far away from you as possible. He almost threw all chivalry out the window when he watched Mason step closer to you, but luckily you moved away and maintained composure as you once again asked him to leave. Jamie immediately backed you up and all but pushed Mason out the door. As soon as he disappeared down the stairs, relief flooded Jamie’s chest and his heart pounded when you’d asked him to stay. 

However, anxiety started creeping back up when he remembered what Mason had said. 

“Don’t tell me he’s the one you moved on with?”

Had you moved on from Mason completely? And did you have feelings for him?

He’d hesitantly and quietly asked you just this, and you’d shyly admitted that you had indeed fallen for him, and Jamie could not remember a time when he’d been more happy. And despite his nerves, he never felt more proud to share that he had feelings for you, too. The rest of the night was a blur of kisses and tangled up limbs. He’d had great sex countless times before, specifically with you, but it was beyond incredible that night. You were incredible. 

Now as sunlight crept into your room, he watched you sleep peacefully in awe. He could not fathom how he’d gotten so lucky to even know you, let alone call you his. He’d hoped you were his - not in a possessive sense - in a relationship sense. But between all the sex and lazy pillow talk in between, you two hadn’t exactly decided on any labels. He knew you were more than friends, and certainly more than just benefits, but he was a bit unsure of what that looked like from here on out. 

He wasn’t aware of how much time passed as he watched you breath and traced nonsensical shapes across your hip, but before he knew it your eyes - your beautiful eyes - were fluttering open to meet his. 

A warm smile takes over your face as you process your surroundings and Jamie can’t help but reciprocate. 

After a few more quiet moments, you whisper, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Jamie whispers back. He doesn’t hesitate to close the very minimal gap between your two heads to kiss you, but your fingers press against his lips before he can. 

“I have morning breath,” you whine quietly. 

“That’s never stopped me before,” he tuts playfully and presses his lips against yours anyway. Despite your initial complaint, you hungrily reciprocate and Jamie practically smirks into the kiss

As much as you want to get carried away, you reluctantly pull away and lean your forehead against his. “I guess we never really talked about what happened last night.”

“We were a little busy.” 

You huff out a laugh, but don’t meet his eye. After a few quiet seconds, you speak up again, “I’m sorry about Mason. He showed up out of nowhere.”

Jamie frowns, leaning away from you a bit, “You don’t need to apologize for him.”

“I know,” you nod, your fingers beginning to play with his absentmindedly between your two bodies, “I just feel bad that you even had to see him. I feel bad that I had to see him.”

“I don’t care about him,” he assures, his free hand combing through your hair comfortingly, “I just care that you’re alright.” 

You nod, “I’m okay.”

After a beat, Jamie finds himself asking, “Was there any part of you that…considered taking him back?”

“No,” you answer immediately, clearing Jamie of any worries, “I think I want to believe his apology because I know I deserve one, but any feelings I had for him are completely gone. I have feelings for someone else. In case you missed that part.”

Jamie grins, “No, I remember that part very clearly. I think you said something like, ‘Jamie you are the nicest, sexiest, most talented footballer I’ve ever met and I can’t go another second without being with you’.”

You snort, “I don’t quite remember it like that. Was that before or after you told me I’m ‘the hottest, funniest, cutest person you’ve ever known and that I would make you the luckiest man in the world if I was your girlfriend’.”

Jamie laughs, “Not sure I said all that.”

You shrug, “Well, it’s all true, so can’t see why you wouldn’t’ve.” 

Jamie’s amused smile turns into a shy one. “Even the part about you being my girlfriend? You really want to be that?”

You give him an unsure smile of your own, “I do if you want to. Be my boyfriend, I mean.”

“Oh, I definitely do,” he nods, leaning forward to press his face into the crook of your neck, “I’d be the luckiest man in the world, apparently.”

You laugh loudly, from his return of your joke but also from the vibration of his words against your throat. You settle down as his words turn into soft kisses that trail up to your jaw, to your cheek, and to your ear. As Jamie peppers more soft kisses across your face, nerves replace the butterflies in your stomach.

“Jamie?”

He plants one last kiss against your lips before peering down at you from above, “Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if we still kept our relationship quiet for a little bit?” you ask timidly. “I think I’d like to stay in this bubble we’ve had for a little longer, while this is still new, if that’s okay with you?”

Jamie’s quiet for a couple moments, and you worry that this is a deal breaker for him. However, he gives you a small smile a second later which instantly alleviates your nerves. He settles back beside you and pulls you into his chest.

“Of course,” he whispers into your hair, “I like having you all to myself. Although, I should probably tell you, Roy sort of knows.”

“Oh, yeah,” you chuckle, “I kind of knew that.”

“What?” Jamie’s eyes narrow, “How?”

“He mentioned it to me the other day. Wanted to make sure I wasn’t leading you on for nothing.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it was sweet, actually. Didn’t see that coming from Roy Kent.”

Jamie snorts. 

“In that case, you should know that Rebecca knows.” 

“I did know that.”

“And Sam.” 

“Wait, what? Sam, too?”

You nod, peering up at him through your lashes, “I only told him yesterday when I was panicking over how much I like you.”

“Aw,” Jamie smirks, “Kinda nice to know the effect I have on you.”

You roll your eyes, “Well, he told me you’ve kinda been obsessed with me this whole time.”

Jamie’s smirk drops, “What did he say?”

“Just something about Richard talking about me, and you flipping out.”

Jamie’s eyes fall closed, “I did not flip out. I just respectfully let him know you wouldn’t be interested in him.”

“Says who?”

“Says who-?” Jamie’s eyes snap open and so does his jaw. He spends half a second in complete shock before seeing the playful smile on your face, “You’re mean.”

“I’m sorry!” you laugh into his chest, “But you’re cute when you’re jealous.” You look up at him and see him pouting. You give him another grin and begin kissing up his chest to his neck, “Don’t worry,” you whisper between kisses, “I am all yours.” 

Jamie sighs as you continue pressing kisses to his neck before ultimately capturing his lips with yours once again. There are voices in his head trying to convince him this is all too good to be true; that he should be more worried about your need for secrecy but he ignores them. For now he allows himself to get completely lost in you. His girlfriend. 

You and Jamie arrive at the club separately later that morning, Jamie having reluctantly left your home to go to his so he didn't show up in clothes from the night before. However, you somehow manage to show up within moments of each other. 

As you walk into the parking lot, you find Sam exiting his car and eagerly approach him with a kind greeting. You can tell he wants to ask you whether or not you confessed your feelings to Jamie the night before, but before you can put him out of his misery, Jamie’s own car pulls into the lot. He gets out and while you both try not to make eye contact, you can’t help but feel a gravitational pull toward one another. 

Jamie nods at you, “Morning, Y/N.” 

“Good morning, Jamie.” Neither of you can keep the goofy smiles off your faces. You’re lucky Sam is the only one around - you’ll need to be better about keeping this on the down low. 

“Hey, Jamie,” Sam calls out with a smirk of his own that only grows when Jamie’s eyes snap to his in surprise. 

Jamie smothers his smitten smile for a more cordial one, “Hey, Sam. See you inside?”

Sam nods. Jamie gives you one last look and another tiny smile before walking away. 

You can barely look Sam in the eye as he spins back around to face you with a shit-eating grin. 

“Don’t-”

“You did it!” he squeezes your shoulders and shakes you gently, “You told him you liked him!”

You can’t help but laugh as you shush him, “While it didn’t go exactly as I would have wanted, yes. I told him I liked him and he likes me and we’re…together.”

“Yes!” He engulfs you in a tight hug, “I’m so happy for you.”

You squeeze him back, “Well, can you be happy and quiet? We’re trying to be discreet for a little while longer.” 

“Why?” Sam questions, pulling away from you, “I thought you’d be excited.”

“I’m, uh, buying time to try to figure out how to tell Keeley,” you explain to him, “I know that it's been a while since she and Jamie were together, but I don’t want to break girl code, you know?”

“Ah yes, the rules of female friendship are very sacred,” Sam nods sagely,  “I guess we should get inside. I want to make sure I have time to tease Jamie before training - discreetly of course.”

You snort as the two of you head inside. You part ways with Sam after making him promise to be nice to Jamie, before you head towards Rebecca’s office. 

You poke your head in her doorway and the older woman beams at you from her spot on the couch. She sets down her cup of tea and gestures eagerly for you to sit with her. As you sit beside her on the couch, you look around the room, trying to figure out how to tell her about your updated relationship status. However, Rebecca lets out a gasp, interrupting your brainstorm.

“Oh, my God, are you and Jamie are officially together?”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head, “How the hell do you do that?”

“I’m psychic,” you tilt your head in interest and Rebecca rolls her eyes, “No, you just looked nervous and I saw Jamie when he came in a few minutes ago and he seemed like he was on cloud nine. Figured it had to do with you.”

You shake your head, “You’re still ridiculous.” 

Rebecca shrugs with a grin, “What can I say?” She pokes your arm, “Why don’t you look as happy? This is a new development I assume, so you should be in the honeymoon phase.” 

“We are. I am. I just…we’re still keeping it a secret,” you sigh, before quickly adding, “Except from you, Sam, and Roy.”

“Uh huh. And why exactly do you need to keep it a secret if you’re actually dating him now?”

“I’m procrastinating telling Ted,” you admit sheepishly.

Rebecca frowns, “Why? Ted adores Jamie.”

“I know. And Jamie loves Ted. That’s the problem. He looks up to him. I don’t want to make their dynamic weird by putting myself in the middle.”

Rebecca shakes her head, “Or it could make it all the better.”

You shrug, “I think I’d rather wait a little before I find out.”

“I support you whatever you decide, but I think you worry too much about other people,” Rebecca sighs, “But you’re happy, though? With Jamie?”

You bite your lip to keep from beaming, “Extremely.” 

A slow smile creeps its way onto Rebecca’s face before the two of you start squealing.

Jamie finds it hard not to proclaim his feelings for you when Isaac asks him why he’s in such a good mood, but he manages to find something else to say. That something else being: “The fuck? I’m in a normal mood, thank you very much,” to which Isaac holds his hands up and backs off, muttering, “Okay, I take it back. Relax, bruv.”

Yeah, he wasn’t exactly thrilled you were still keeping your relationship a secret, even after graduating from just fuck buddies. But you were together and that was all that mattered. He was happy, and you were happy. At least he assumed - hoped - you were happy. You wouldn’t just enter another relationship that wasn’t making you happy. Unless you were just doing it to make him happy. But then why would you confess your feelings first? 

God, Isaac was right; he did need to relax. He was just in his head. This was the first time he was in a real relationship with someone. Sure, he’d had relationships before, with Keeley and other girls, but this time he gave a shit. A lot of shits. So many shits it made his stomach hurt, he thought he needed to take a shit. But he felt like he was tricking you into dating someone who may or may not have been just as bad as your last boyfriend. You had no idea the prick he used to be. While he knew he wasn’t that guy anymore, and that the absolute last thing he’d do was hurt you, he was still terrified he’d accidentally end up doing that anyway. He worried a part of you thought that would happen, too. That’s why you weren't jumping at the chance to tell everyone. Again, he understood and believed what you said about not wanting to burst your personal little bubble yet, but his insecurities were louder than his common sense. 

As he sorted through his locker, nearly giving into all of his toxic thoughts, Sam popped up behind him and almost gave him a heart attack.

“Jesus,” Jamie startled as Sam gripped his shoulders.

“I hear someone’s got a girlfriend,” Sam sing-songs softly. Jamie spins to face him and cautiously looks around the locker room, “Don’t worry your secret's safe with me. I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you, mate.” 

Jamie feels his cheeks heat up and the side of his mouth quirks up, “Thanks, man.”

Sam smiles back, “And for her, too. I only found out she liked you yesterday, but I can tell how happy you make her. It's kind of adorable.” As Sam starts to step towards his own locker, he playfully adds, “Just don’t fuck it up.”

Jamie’s stomach flips. If Sam thought he made you happy, it had to be true. He also heard Sam’s other point loud and clear - he couldn’t fuck it up. He swore on his life he wouldn’t. And if that meant not telling anyone else for the time being, his lips were sealed. 

Over the next few weeks, you and Jamie manage to keep your relationship a secret all the while finding time to meet up at the club or at one of your respective flats. In some ways it's like nothing has changed as you sneak in make out sessions - or a little more - during lunch breaks, but in other ways it's not. Jamie particularly likes the little things your elevated relationship status brings to the table. You’re a lot more affectionate and share more words of affirmation, things Jamie hasn’t been particularly used to. Jamie’s the same way with you, and he opens up more little by little. You can tell there are things he’s still holding back, but you trust that he’ll tell you with time. 

Just as your relationship has been better than ever, so has AFC Richmond’s track record. Since their victory at Arsenal, they’ve won three more games in a row. Jamie cheekily credits you with part of the reason he’s been doing so well as of late, and while you know that’s hardly the truth, you still accept the compliment and the many, many kisses that follow. 

You’re together for about a month when Michelle and Henry visit England, along with Michelle’s new boyfriend, Jacob. In anticipation of their trip, you talk yourself up to the idea of telling your aunt about your new, official boyfriend. You were nervous to tell anyone in your family, particularly your dads. And Ted. You figured Michelle would be good practice and she’s always understood you differently than the paternal figures in your life. She used to be your go-to person to talk about boys with, and was the first person you told when you started dating Mason. But once you’d moved to Chicago and things with him started feeling off, you avoided talking about him when you could. This was different though. You were happy and proud to be in a relationship with Jamie. It should be easy to tell people. You should be bragging about it. 

Unfortunately, when the opportunity strikes itself, you freeze. Jacob was making sure the last of their things were ready for their Paris trip, and Ted was getting Henry ready to go to the club, so you and Michelle had a moment alone. She even teed you up perfectly and asked if you were seeing anyone, but instead of enthusiastically telling her about Jamie, you anxiously laughed and told her no. No, there wasn’t a guy who treated you like you deserved and made you feel you’ve been struck by lightning every time you’re together. You told her you were happily single, straight to her face, like a liar. Because you were a liar. 

The last few weeks you’ve been making up excuses to Jamie, Sam, Rebecca and yourself as to why you couldn’t admit to anyone else that you were dating Jamie. And while all of those reasons had validity, there was still a nagging feeling in the back of your head that didn’t want you to tell anyone even if those little worries went away. But you didn’t know what it was. You just hoped it went away sometime soon so you could be with Jamie in the way he deserved. Not hiding away, but out in the world together. With a modest amount of PDA. You weren’t an animal. 

You push the uneasy feelings in your stomach away to wish Michelle and Jacob well on their trip. You stand beside Ted and Henry and wave them off as their taxi disappears down the street, before the three of you start your walk to Nelson Road Stadium. A few minutes in, Henry naturally walks ahead of you giving you and Ted the chance to talk. Per usual, he senses that something’s off, but you tell him you’re just a bit down this morning, and that Henry being here was already starting to cheer you up. Then you whisper that Jacob annoyed the shit out of you the entirety of your breakfast at Crown and Anchor. Who the hell dates one of their formal couples-therapy clients? You could tell Ted has also been uneasy since your meal, but he lightly scolds you and tells you to play nice. You do manage to clock the tiny smile in the corner of his mouth when you quietly refer to Dr. Jacob as a wanker and you take the tiny victory. 

When you arrive at the club, you part ways so you can get set up in your office for the day, but you tell Henry he can visit you at any time. He knows the drill not to tell anyone that you’re related, seeming to understand the power dynamics of corporate culture in his own little kid way. There was a reason he was your favorite cousin. 

He takes you up on your offer barely thirty minutes later. He bounds into your office, already going on about how Will showed him what it takes to be a Premier League kitman, and you barely have time to wonder how he knew where your office even was. Henry sits criss-cross-applesauce on the chair across from your desk as he asks you questions about your job and you try to make it sound as exciting as possible. He lights up when you tell stories about the mishaps you’ve witnessed during team training. You’re nearly about to attempt a PG explanation of the red-string incident - though you’d only heard about it second hand from Jamie after the two of you shared a particularly potent bottle of wine a couple weeks ago - when the man himself appears in your doorway already dressed for practice. Your heart skips a beat, both from seeing his face and the mental reminder to not let your secrets slip to either of the boys in the room, but you trusted them both enough to let yourself relax.

“Hi, Jamie,” you call out brightly, alerting the younger boy to the footballer’s presence. Once he turns to see Jamie, he eagerly sits up and greets him, “I was telling Henry here all about the glamorous life of a Premier League club owner’s assistant.”

Jamie nods and crosses his arms, “Hmm, what do you say, Henry? Would you rather stay here and help her go through documents all day, or come to training with me and the team for a bit?”

“Definitely training!” Henry exclaims with no hesitation.

“Okay, ouch.” you tease with a fake frown. 

Jamie chuckles and nudges Henry’s arm, “You can head down to the pitch if you want then. A few of the boys should already be down there waiting for ya.” 

“Awesome!” Henry cheers, practically sprinting out of your office. He calls out a goodbye and apology to you, promising to spend time with you tomorrow.

Jamie quirks an eyebrow at that and your heart stops briefly again, but you remain calm.

“What’s tomorrow?” Jamie asks, shutting the office door so you’ve got some privacy. 

You shrug as nonchalantly as possible, “He probably said that to be nice.” 

False. You had lunch plans with Henry, Ted, and Beard tomorrow. Yet another lie you’d told today. 

Jamie nods, his eyes trailing you as you get up to formally greet him with a kiss.

“What brings you to my office?” you ask, pulling away but keeping your arms interlocked around his neck. “Can’t stay away from me?”

Jamie smirks, “While that is true, Ted actually asked me to bring Henry to the pitch while he talked to Rebecca about something.” 

You hum, with a small smile, “Did you know you’re kind of Henry’s favorite player on the team?”

His smirk turns into a genuine grin, “He told you that?”

Technically no. But since you’ve been working for the club, every time you’ve had the chance to speak to Henry over Facetime, he always asks about Jamie. And you knew it wasn’t a coincidence he was number 9 on his own soccer team. Even when you and Jamie weren’t an official couple, and before you’d even started hooking up, you thought it was cute how much Henry looked up to the footballer. And when you commented on it, Ted remarked that Jamie always made Henry feel special each time he visited, even early on when Jamie was less than the friendliest guy on the team. You had to admit, being good with kids was definitely a turn on. 

You just nod. Jamie’s smile turns mischievous again. “Who would you say your favorite player on the team is?”

You bite your lip and look off in the distance pretending to think. 

Jamie lightly squeezes your waist and scoffs, “If you say Richard, I swear…”

“You know it's not Richard,” you laugh, fixing him a look as you lean closer to him, “My favorite player is obviously Sam.”

Jamie groans and presses his forehead against yours. “You are still so mean,” he whines, but you can hear the laugh in his voice.

You giggle, “You can be my second favorite.” 

“Huh, well second is the best, some say.”

“Yeah, some.” You tease, pressing another kiss to his lips, “You should get to practice.”

“Yeah,” Jamie sighs, but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you long and hard one more time. “Can I come over tonight?”

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.” 

Jamie gives you one more sweet smile and kiss on the cheek before leaving you alone. Alone with thoughts of why you couldn’t possibly want to shout about your relationship from the rooftops. But for whatever reason, you weren’t ready yet. You just hoped one day soon you would be. 

For some reason, Jamie cancels on you that night. He doesn’t offer much of an explanation as to why, but you trust he has a good reason. So, you tell him not to worry about it and offer up a rain check for the next night. Instead of responding yes or no, Jamie thumbs-up the text, which you aren’t thrilled about, but you try not to overthink one weird text exchange. Either way, you’d reach out to him tomorrow and see if he was still acting off. 

In effort not to dwell on the strange interaction, you busy yourself with making dinner. While your meal is in the oven, you also call Keeley. Earlier that day, you’d heard the news about her personal photos getting leaked and since you were swamped at the club, you didn’t have a real chance to reach out. While it's been a minute since you’ve seen the girl, each of you busy with your jobs and respective relationships (not to mention you still hiding yours from her in particular), you could tell she appreciated hearing from you. 

After cheering her up a bit with some words of comfort, and then a bit of girl talk to distract her, you settle down on the couch with a bowl of baked ziti and your laptop. First, you answer a few emails. One was from your dad of a goofy meme that he definitely could have just texted, but you respond nonetheless with a culturally relevant GIF. The other was from Kara, your old coworker from Chicago. You’d kept up with her pretty regularly since your move, exchanging texts now and again, but using email for longer life updates. You’d admitted that you’ve been seeing someone to her, but haven’t given details as to who yet, and that’s as close as you’ve gotten to telling anyone out of the circle of people who already knew. 

You’d also confided in her about writing again, which you hadn’t really done with anyone else either. Telling your dads or even Ted or Michelle would put pressure on it you weren’t ready for. They’d be so excited for you, of course, but then you knew your dads would follow up with questions about whether you were going to do anything with the book you’ve been writing, and while that was the goal, you weren’t that far yet. Once it was in better shape you’d happily tell them. 

And that’s what you do with the rest of your night. You bang out a few more chapters of your rom-com novel and then get to bed at a reasonable hour. You try not to dwell on the fact that it's the first night in weeks you’ve gone to bed without Jamie, but you push the thought away in order to get a good night’s rest. You’ll probably hear from Jamie in the morning. 

And you do - but he just hearts your text when you wish him a good morning and say you hope to see him that night. At least it was a heart instead of a thumbs up. 

Something was definitely wrong. You should just ask, but your brain keeps making up horrible reasons for his distance, starting and ending with him wanting to break up with you for some reason. You knew that couldn’t be it. You saw him less than twenty-four hours ago and everything was fine. Something else had to be bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you himself and only if he wanted to. 

Again, you throw yourself into activities to distract you. First with an uncharacteristically large breakfast for one, and then with work at the club for a few hours before you meet up with your cousin, uncle, and surrogate-uncle at Crown and Anchor for a late lunch. You tried to text Jamie a couple times throughout the day, but only got minimal responses still. Ted and Beard can both tell something is off, but you force a smile and listen intently as Henry recounts their morning at the West Ham game. 

You do manage to enjoy the rest of the evening with your family between bursts of anxiety when you see Jamie hasn’t sent anything. But you’re both relieved and twice as anxious when you see him standing outside your apartment as you arrive home that night. You wonder how long he’s been here.

“Jamie?” you call out softly as you reach the top of the stairs. It’s very obvious he’s not in a great place, “Are you alright?”

You’re surprised when he shakes his head and answers honestly, albeit avoiding your eye line, “No, I’m not so great, actually.”

You gulp, but try to give him a reassuring smile, “Okay. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?”

He nods and you move forward to start unlocking your front door. You two silently enter the flat, the only noise coming from the rummaging as you lock up and discard your coat and bag. A few moments later, you take a seat on the couch and look expectantly at him to join you, but he just shuffles to stand in front of you, staring at his barely worn Nikes. 

“Jamie?” you speak up again and try to sound as gentle as possible, despite your increasing heart rate, “You know that you can talk to me about anything right? But you also don’t have to talk about it if you're not ready.”

He nods again, once, and you study his hands, and he clenches and unclenches them into fists a few times. You want to be patient with him, but with each passing second, you make up more and more worst case scenarios for how this was going to go.

“Did you hear what happened to Keeley?” he finally asks after a few minutes of excruciating silence, “About that video getting leaked?”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise. That’s not what you thought he was going to say.

“Yeah,” you force out, brushing past your confusion, “Yeah. Its so fucking shitty. I actually talked to her last night. She’s upset, of course, but she sounds like she’s holding up okay.” You explain. You study him for a few seconds before continuing, “Is that what you’re upset about?”

He once again silently bobs his head up and down, before he admits, “She actually made that video for me. The one that got leaked. Back when we were dating.”

Your mouth forms an “o”, starting to recognize some puzzle pieces but unsure of how they fit together. “Are you worried that you’re the reason it got leaked? Because you know it's not your fault. Whoever the asshole hacker is, who leaked everyone's shit, is to blame.”

“I know but I should have made sure everything was deleted,” Jamie sighs, his voice practically cracking as he slowly continues, “And it's more than that.”

“What is it, Jamie?” you question, “Because if you think it's that I’d be upset about the video itself, I’m not. You and Keeley dated a long time ago.”

“It's not that,” Jamie says, finally looking at you, “This happening has just reminded me of what a shit person I used to be when I was dating her and how she deserved better than that. And so do you.” 

You frown, sitting up a little straighter, “Don’t say that. I know about your reputation back then, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not the same guy you were.” 

“Yeah but you don’t know everything.”

“Jamie, I don’t care-”

“Please,” he pleads, “You have to let me say this. It’s been eating away at me since I met you. You have to know.”

You take a deep breath, and not knowing what else to say, you just nod encouragingly. 

Jamie takes a deep breath and once again looks at the floor before he begins, “I wasn’t just a dick to Keeley. I cheated on her. I actually probably cheated on most of the girls I’ve been with. Honestly, for a few years, I can’t think of a time where I wasn’t seeing a girl or hooking up with another until a little while after Keeley and I broke up. I didn’t really know it, but I think I used my relationships or sex as another form of validation. It didn’t matter who I was seeing, if someone was interested I went for it. I just wanted to feel…good. I liked the attention. I liked being wanted. Not that that makes it okay, it definitely doesn’t. Especially with Keeley, who was probably one of the most genuine people I was ever with. And that’s why I feel even worse that the video got leaked.

“I didn’t feel that way with you, though. I still don’t. I wasn’t just sleeping with you for validation. Not that you don’t make me feel good or wanted, because you make me feel that way even when we’re just watching TV or playing a board game. But all that mattered to me was making you feel good, even when I thought all I was was a distraction for you. I knew all you wanted was sex, and I knew I was good at it, so I was more than happy to help. But even then I was so hyper aware that if you really knew the guy you were sleeping with, you’d hate me. 

“Your ex is the biggest idiot in the world for cheating on you and making you feel like you weren’t good enough, and I’m glad you’ve moved on and that I could help you do that. But deep down I know that I’m just as bad as him. Maybe even worse. I have been an asshole to every girl I’ve been with, and I regret that, but it's the truth. I avoided telling you for so long because I was afraid if you really knew the kind of guy I was, you’d stop seeing me. But I wanted to tell you now, so that you could if you wanted to. Stop seeing me. Because I wouldn’t blame you.”

Jamie could barely hear the sound of his own voice as he finished his impromptu speech, with his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. As much as he hated to admit all of that, he knew he needed to. It’s been his inner monologue for months, he just finally needed to air it all out. And he felt like he owed you the full picture, so you knew what you were getting into; so you could decide if you really wanted to be with someone like him. You deserved a good man. One who was better at all of this and wouldn’t fuck it all up like he knew he could. He was still fucking up with Keeley after all of this time. You deserved better than him. 

After a few beats of silence, he forces himself to look at you again, unable to fight the morbid curiosity of how you’d react. He manages to make out the tears forming in your eyes, through the tears welling his own. He didn’t realize he’d gotten so emotional during his speech, but he figures it's the guilt coupled with the fear of what you’d do. 

He could tell you were biting your lip as you figured out what to say. This was it. You knew he wasn’t just a prick, but a cheater, too, and you were trying to find the right words to kick him out of your home and out of your life. 

His breath hitches as you rise from your spot on the couch and take hesitant steps towards him. He almost flinches at the movement, but instinctually relaxes as your hand finds his own and intertwines your fingers together with a squeeze.

“Jamie,” you hoarsely whisper, and the sound of you saying his name makes his heart skip a beat, “Before I say anything else, I need you to know I am not going anywhere.”

Jamie lets out a loud breath of relief and your lips quirk up just a little. 

“I really appreciate you telling me all of this, I know how hard that must have been,” you continue, “I am also sorry that somewhere along the way you’ve been made to feel not good enough - because I get it, I do - but you are absolutely good enough. For me and for everyone who is lucky enough to know you. I also need you to know that even at the beginning you were more than just someone I want to have sex with. You are someone I like talking to and someone who makes me laugh and has always made me feel safe, especially when I arrived in a brand new city at a time in my life when I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

“What you did in the past was wrong; cheating on Keeley or on anyone. But what matters is that you realize it was wrong, and that you’ve learned and have grown. You are not that guy anymore. The guy I’ve gotten to know over the last few months knows right from wrong, is considerate, is kind, is attentive, and is still a bit of a prick sometimes, but he wouldn’t be himself if he wasn’t. And I really like that guy. Again, I respect you for telling me this, but I don’t care about your past, Jamie. I know who you are today and I want to be with you.”

Every word you said was true. Sure, it hit a nerve to hear Jamie has cheated before, especially with someone as amazing as Keeley, but despite those nagging voices in your head, you knew in your heart he wouldn’t do that to you. 

Jamie’s lip quivers a bit at your assurance that you’re not leaving him. But still, he’s crippled by self doubt, “I’m still afraid that I’m going to fuck something up one day.”

“You probably will,” Jamie sputters, so you quickly place a comforting hand on his cheek and barrel on, “But so will I. We’re both bound to mess up from time to time because nobody’s perfect, Jamie. All that matters is that we try.”

Jamie nods. He’s unable to deal with even the minimal space between the two of you at this point and pulls you completely into his arms. “I can do that,” he whispers into your shoulder.

You melt into his embrace, “Good.”

It’s a blur, but somehow over the course of the next few minutes, you both end up back on the couch, completely wrapped up in one another. His head is resting on your chest as you lightly brush your fingers through his hair. You shush him as he attempts to make more apologies about not being truthful, as well as for blowing you off the last day or so. You’re happy to spend the night reassuring him that he was forgiven and that you were very happy with him. Immensely so.

“You know who might like to hear some of this,” you eventually comment and Jamie hums in question, “Keeley.”

You peer down at him as he plays with the string of your Richmond sweatshirt, of which you of course stole from him.

“I know. I’ve been meaning to.” He agrees quietly, “Think I just wanted to talk to you about it first.”

“That’s okay,” you smiled against his head, “Maybe next time you don’t have to stand outside my door waiting for me to let you in.” He looks up at you curiously, “Maybe I could make a copy of my key…so you can wait inside next time you want to talk. Or see me…If you want.”

You don’t know what possessed you to propose this idea all of a sudden. Maybe it was all the emotions surrounding his confession, or maybe it was how much you hated sleeping alone last night. Either way, you liked the idea of him being able to show up as he pleased. And even though you’ve officially been a couple for only a month, emotionally you’ve been together a lot longer. 

A genuine grin appears on Jamie’s face for the first time that night. “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” a smile of your own starts forming.

“Yeah,” he props himself up to brush his lips against your cheek, “I can see about getting you a copy of mine as well, but I honestly think I like being at your place a lot more than mine.”

“I like you being here, too.” you gently pull him on top of you for a full fledged kiss.

Jamie eagerly reciprocates and feels the weight that’s been on his chest the last couple of days fully melt away. He would definitely still talk to Keeley, but he’s comforted by the fact that he not only still has you, but that you didn’t look at him any differently after knowing more about his past. 

Also, despite his unsuredness over you wanting to keep your relationship a secret, he no longer cared about that either. You made it very clear tonight that you wanted him and thought he was good enough for you. He still hoped to one day proclaim his feelings for you to the world, but for now, being with you in any capacity was more than good enough for him.

A/N: once again, thank you all for reading and all the love and support! this was one a beast to figure out and write, so i hope you liked it! i’m also envisioning that my original drabble “i like you” takes place in this four weeks they are dating at the start of this chapter <3

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[devotioncrater]

I am once again going to queer analyze the fuck out of Ted Lasso, specifically the scene with Trent and Ted in the hallway at the end of Season 3, Episode 7.

Trent swoops in as the door is closing behind Ted, calls out, “TED!”, and then he runs towards Ted, who is walking away from him. Ted turns, bewildered, because here is Trent -- cool, calm, awkward Trent -- completely out of his shell like never before. There’s a spark to Trent. He’s excited, he’s rambling, he’s so close to Ted. He’s vulnerable, too, because he is laying everything he’s thinking and feeling out in the open. (“It’s going to work!” “And I’ll tell you why -- The Lasso Way!” “You haven’t switched tactics in a week!”)

Chemistry goes both ways. It’s a feedback loop, in a sense, because Ted is taking in what Trent is giving. He turns fully to face Trent, even turning when Trent leaves; actively engages by asking questions (“Great! What is?” “Why?” “I haven’t?”); and the more this interaction goes on, the more Ted’s face goes from bewildered to fond. Is he humoring Trent by letting him ramble? Yeah, he is, because he finds it endearing.

The way it’s shot plays a massive role, too. We the audience know that Roy and Beard are there all along. However, we temporarily forget their presence because the camera is equally close on both Trent and Ted. And the intensity of Trent’s rambling distracts us. It’s not until their little conversation is over that the angle is zoomed out and we’re reminded they aren’t alone. It’s intentionally done like that as an insight onto how Ted feels. He’s tuned in on what Trent has to say, and everything else falls away to the background.

In a heavy rom-com episode, this is the love interest’s confesional to the main character.

Trent was sparking. So much so I’ve seen people say they expected the two to kiss. And that thought doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. You don’t arrive to that conclusion baseless. Which means:

1) The simmering three-season-long groundwork put into their relationship is rock solid.

2) The romcom beats -- which have gotten more frequent -- are subconciously hitting the audience and therefore priming us to expect a follow through (re: a kiss)

3) Characters do not get that close unless it’s to kiss, fight, or scheme. Clearly they aren’t fighting or scheming, so what other expectation is there?

Now hold onto your hat, cowboy. This is where it gets fun.

This hallway scene is a direct parallel to Rebecca and Ted in the West Ham hallway. It’s at an away game; Rebecca and Trent are both potential love interests with an air of manic energy; and, again, it takes place in a hallway with the team in the locker room. 

Only this time, with Trent, everything is subverted. 

Ted walks to Rebecca vs Trent runs to Ted.

Rebecca touches Ted vs Trent doesn’t physically engage.

Ted being uncomfortable the entire interaction vs Ted leaning into the interaction.

Beard and Roy not being present vs Beard and Roy being there.

This subversion also applies to where Rebecca and Trent’s respective manic energy stem from. Their energy levels are foils of one another. 

Rebecca’s stems from negative external factors outside of Richmond (re: Rupert) and the fact the team is losing the match/things are not working.

Trent’s stems from positive internal factors within Richmond (re: belief in The Lasso Way) and the fact things are going to work despite the team losing the match.

Let’s get queer up in here and extrapolate those subversions to sexuality:

Ted slowly approaches heterosexuality (Rebecca), alone (without community) and is uncomfortable by the external pressures placed upon him, the way heterosexuality imposes its touch on him. He visibly looks/feels worse after the interaction.

vs

Queerness (Trent) running up behind Ted with a warning shout (hitting Ted when he doesn’t expect it) and while Ted is surrounded by others (with community). And at first Ted is confused by it, but as soon as he hears it out, gives it a chance, he grows fond of what it has to say. It does not impose its touch on him, and the pressure is an excited internal one. Ted visibly looks/feels better after the interaction.

In Trent’s words, it’s going to work.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Tap on My Window, Knock on My Door

I'm Bright Baby Blue, Falling Into You

Chelsea!Roy Kent x Coach's Daughter!Reader

1.4k words

Warnings: Language, lying/sneaking around, no Ted Lasso characters except for Roy, fluff & flirting, heavy kissing

The next couple of days were a blur of making eyes at Roy on the pitch and lying to your parents about your whereabouts as you ran out the door to meet the midfielder for takeaway, movies, and snogging. Finally, your dad reminded you that it was Tuesday night; family dinner night. You plastered on a smile and assured him that of course you remembered, you’d never forget Tuesday night dinner. Once your dad seemed satisfied, you scurried upstairs and made a quick call to cancel your plans to meet Roy. Your heart couldn’t help but swell at the disappointment that he couldn’t hide from his gruff voice; Roy Kent wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see him.

The thought had you smiling all through dinner and offering short, dreamy replies to your parents’ and younger brother’s conversations. Your parents exchanged looks over their plates, but you barely noticed. Not when Roy Kent was on your mind.

After you and your brother cleared the plates into the sink, your dad pulled out a deck of cards; another Tuesday night tradition. As your dad began to deal out the cards for a game, you wondered what Roy would think of a family dinner. Not that you were thinking of inviting him over or anything anytime soon; this thing was so incredibly new, and you weren’t even sure what this thing was. Most of all, Roy didn’t seem like the family dinner type of guy; he seemed much more comfortable sneaking around for clandestine meetings. And you had to admit it was kind of fun too.

In your bed that night, you turned on your bedside lamp and tried to read. You really did. But your mind just kept wandering. It was like you were a teenager again, thinking about some beautiful boy. But this wasn’t some guy in your class; this was a gorgeous, famous footballer who, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to spend his time kissing you. It was more than a bit mind-boggling, if you were being honest.

Trying to figure out what your love life had become was interrupted by your mobile ringing. You snatched it up quickly, not wanting the sound to wake your parents.

“Hello?” you whispered into the phone, not needing to check to see who was calling. It tended to be one person these last few days.

“What’re you doing?”

That growling voice had you smiling into the receiver. “Reading,” you answered quietly. “You?”

“Waiting for you to open the fucking window.”

With a perplexed frown, you stood and went to your bedroom window. Sure enough, Roy Kent stood in your backyard, mobile to his ear and grin on his face. He offered a small wave when he saw your figure.

“Open the window,” he hissed into the phone. “’m coming up.”

Scoffing, you hung up and did as he asked. It was a fucking sight, watching Roy Kent climb the giant tree outside your window and tumble into your childhood bedroom. He winced when he hit the carpeted floor with a small thud and offered you an apologetic smile as you closed the window. After stuffing a t-shirt under your door to muffle your voices and double-checking the lock on your door, you turned to Roy, who still sat on the ground.

“What’re you doing here?” you asked incredulously as you perched on the edge of your bed.

He shrugged. “Wanted to see you.”

The smile you wore was pure dopiness, but you didn’t care. Not when those brown eyes were sparkling at you.

Roy stood, rubbing the elbow he’d landed on in his less-than-stellar landing. “Your dad cuts those branches too short,” he grumbled. “Almost broke my fucking neck.”

You stuck your chin out haughtily. “I used to use that tree to sneak out all the time as a teenager,” you gloated. “And I never had a problem.

He narrowed his eyes at you before he began strolling around your room, looking at your walls. “Well, I spent my teen years training for a football career, not climbing through pretty girls’ windows. Gimme a fucking break.” He stopped in front of a Chelsea poster, smirking at the sight of himself and his teammates. “You kiss this before you go to bed?” he teased.

“I use it for dart practice,” you snarked. “Can’t you see the holes in your face?”

Roy let out an annoyed huff as he sat beside you, the bed giving the softest creak. “Oi, be nice. I did just climb a fucking tree for you, you know.”

“I suppose I could cut you some slack, just this once.” Your heart skipped a beat when you realized how close your faces were, how Roy’s smirking mouth was just a whisper away from yours. “Hi,” you murmured.

“Hi,” he hummed back. He cupped your face and closed the gap between your lips.

You sighed against his mouth and closed your eyes, letting him guide you onto your back and climb on top of you. His hands gripped your hips as his mouth explored yours, swallowing the soft groans you tried to hold back. Roy’s tongue was dizzying as it danced with yours, making you wonder how it would feel in other places. Your legs tangled together as you both brazenly began to grind softly against each other’s bodies, unashamed of your need for the other to provide friction.

“Fuck,” you whimpered against his cheek as his mouth made its way to your jaw.

He gently shushed you. “Is everyone asleep?” His breath was hot on your skin and sent a shiver down your spine.

You nodded as your hands roamed his back. “Yeah,” you assured him quietly.

He continued to press sloppy kisses to your neck, eliciting soft gasps from you. When your back arched off the bed, he smirked against your skin. For a while now, you’d given in to your curiosity and read all about Roy Kent, the already legendary lover, in trashy tabloids. And if his kissing was anything to go by, every single rumor was one hundred percent correct.

Deciding that you needed to collect more evidence, you slowly slid your hands down his back and around his front, until you found the button on his black jeans. He let out a small, curious hum and shifted; when your hands followed their target, he pulled away from your neck, eyebrows raised.

“And what do you think you’re doing, young lady?”

Your face was furiously hot as you stared up at Roy, whose eyes were dark and lips were already swollen. “I want you,” you whispered, too desperate for him to feel an ounce of embarrassment.

Roy’s chuckle was low, an almost tortured sound as he let his face fall into the crook of your neck. “There is no fucking way,” he hissed, “that I am taking off my pants with your dad down the hall.” He glanced back up at you. “You’re worth a lot of things, princess, but I’m not sure being murdered is one of them.” He pressed a kiss to your lips, a soft one now, and shook his head at you. “Needy thing,” he teased, rolling off of you so he laid on his back beside you.

His hand found yours as you stuck your tongue out at him. “Coward.” But you couldn’t help smiling at the sight of Roy Kent in your bed, looking as if he belonged there. It was a sight you wouldn’t mind getting used to. “Thanks for climbing a tree to visit me,” you whispered, turning onto your side to face him.

He turned to mirror your position and lifted a finger to trace the shape of your nose. “I’d climb any fucking tree for you, princess.” His smile was playful, but you knew he meant it. “I’d probably do a lot of things for you.” He leaned close, pressing his forehead to yours. “But getting naked while your dad’s home is not one of them.”

The two of you laid like that until scandalously early in the morning, whispering and exchanging soft kisses. Finally, when the clock on your nightstand got close to three, Roy reluctantly removed himself from your bed and made his way back to the window, where he said goodbye with a searing kiss.

“I’ll call you later,” he whispered against your mouth. “Sweet dreams, princess.”

As if you could have any other kind of dream when they were filled with Roy Kent.

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[meow-xine]

Enough for me. (Roy Kent x Fem!Reader)

pairing: (Coach) Roy Kent x Fem. reader

word count: 824 words.

warnings: roy being sad/doubting himself, roy x reader fluff, reader comforting roy, slight sexual themes suggested (near the end), roy hating on trent crimm

a/n: hi!! this is my first ever fic so... pls be gentle. this fic is based on season 3 episode 2 of ted lasso. thanks for clicking on my post out of the millions, i appreciate you :)

summary: roy comes home, frustrated and in need of some comfort after a confrontation with trent crimm about the column he wrote on roy's premier league debut.

It was a normal day- mundane if anything. You had not too long ago returned home from work, now lazily being slumped over the couch scrolling on social media. Your shared home with the newest coach of AFC Richmond was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Roy, you expected, would be home soon, probably coming through the door stringing curses together. Something of course happened at work, the only question was who exactly he would be pissed at this time.

Just as the scenario of an angry Roy played in your head, he walked through the door. You chirped up, happy to see him after a long day, when you noticed the down look of his face. It was less angry and more...disappointed? "Hey, Roy" You spoke, gently due to the unawareness of what was happening. As you stood up and walked toward him, his eyes planted on the ground, you noticed closer the expression splayed on his face. His brows were furrowed, and he seemed to be in a deep solemn thought. It was only when you lightly touched his harm that he seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

You offered him a comforting smile, "You alright? Talk to me." After you spoke, you moved behind him, beginning to take of his coat. "I don't know." He finally spoke, his tone being gentle. Silence filled the air for a brief moment until he spoke again, "Can I ask you something?" He was now meeting your gaze. "You know you can."

"Do you think I'm good? Like, good enough?" What? A puzzled look fell over your face, and he spoke again before you got the chance to. "I don't know- fuck. It's hard to explain." His gaze diverted once again, now focusing on his fingernails he softly picked at. "Roy, I'm not sure what's going on, but you can talk to me. What happened today?"

"Today was fucking fine. It was normal until that prick Crimm had to interfere." he paused, alternating his eyes from you and the floor, "It's bad enough he prances around the fucking place like he owns it, but today he just had to come talk to me and shit." He picked at his fingernails, a little rougher this time, and you could tell he was wallowing in a mixture of hate for both Crimm and what had gone down today.

You knew he wasn't very fond of Crimm, but not exactly why. You had always figured it was because he was a-in his words-pretentious dick. But this was deeper than that, you just had a feeling. You shot Roy a concerned look. He slowly reached for his wallet and drew out a slip of paper, placing it in your hand and urging you to read it.

What welcomed you was a small excerpt claiming "Newcomer Roy Kent is an overhyped, so-called prodigy whose unbridled rage and mediocre talent rendered his Premiere League debut a profound disappointment.” As soon as you read it, you shot Roy a sad glance. You were angry for him, not believing someone had the will to write such negativity.

"Crimm wrote that." He paused to take the small slip out of your hand. "I was 17, and I had just started playing. Seven fucking teen." He gritted his teeth, grimacing. You rubbed his arm, waiting for him to start again. "I have been living my life since then feeling like I was shit. Then today Crimm revealed he did it just to be 'edgy' and make a name for himself."

Not knowing exactly what to say, you continued to rub his arm. "Roy I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the dejection you’ve been feeling all these years.” He gave you a weird look, a mixture of solemn and happy.

“You know what I really can’t believe? I kind of want to forgive his ass.” You were shocked at what you could assume was Ted’s influence. “Really?” He nodded. “As much as I don’t want to fucking admit it, yeah. He was trying to do his job I guess. I just wish he would have picked on..some other prick, I don’t know.” He was now stifling chuckles, just as shocked from the situation.

“You know what Roy?” you spoke, not breaking eye contact. “Hm?” He tilted his head. “I’m proud of you for coming to that conclusion. You could have blown up, yeah? Been angry, upset. But you handled it all well.” Your graze moving up from his arm, now on his cheek. A good minute passed as you enjoyed holding his rough face.

He leaned down to kiss you. It was gentle and sweet, spreading a honeyed heat through your being. He continued placing small kisses on your face, your neck. Slowly turning into esurient nibbles.

“I fucking love you.” He spoke through kisses.

“I love you too.” You felt him smile against your skin. “And Roy?”

“Mhm?”

“You will always be enough for me. Always.”

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Secret Relationship Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ Fall Into Your Gravity by @zarah5 (E, 74k)

AU. In which Harry is an overnight pop sensation and Louis steals plants, Zayn pulls Liam's proverbial pigtails and Niall's really just pleased there are more girls for him.

2️⃣ Emperor's New Clothes by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships (E, 92k)

The fact that Louis’s most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louis’s clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.

or: Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.

3️⃣ Hands Clasped Tight  by @afirethatcannotdie (E, 44k)

“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.

“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.

“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.

“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”

“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

4️⃣ Learning to Breathe by youcomecrash / @drunkharrystyles-blog (E, 110k)

He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out.

5️⃣ so keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby (E, 78k)

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Caught In Your Gravity by @lululawrence (NR, 62k)

It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. "They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn't actually have much in common with the show at all.

💎 Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember by @jaerie (E, 54k)

Carefully he set that negative down and lifted the paper to see there was another beneath. This one again was a young man, this time posed against an antique car. He lifted a few more negatives out one by one, each a portrait of the same man with various backdrops. The man in a meadow, in an office, leaning against a doorframe — even one in his underwear grinning at the camera. On the edge of each negative printed in slanted, handwritten characters were the initials and date. H.S. 1924.

He quickly but carefully packed them back into the box and buzzed with excitement. He couldn’t wait to develop them to see exactly what had been captured in the images. It was a find that felt like a puzzle to piece together.

H.S. was likely the man in the photographs as well as the owner of the suitcase. Who was he? Why had his suitcase found its way into Niall’s attic? Was he still alive and well somewhere in the world?

A camera, a suitcase, and a relationship forged through time.

💎 On Thin Ice by @neondiamond (E, 16k)

As the goaltender for one of the best hockey teams in the world, Harry never expected participating in his second winter Olympics would be so eventful. His hidden long-term relationship with the captain of their biggest rival team may have something to do with it.

💎 I Can Build Your Heart A Home by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove (T, 10k)

“I was just thinking," Niall says. Did you know that Louis came out as gay last year?”

Harry nearly chokes on his drink, just barely managing to swallow. “Hrng,” he manages, trying not to cough. “Um. Yeah, I think I saw it on Facebook. Good for him.”

“Well.” Niall shrugged. “I figured it just made sense."

Harry feels goosebumps rise on his arms. “What do you mean?”

“I just think you and Louis should date,” Niall says. “I think you’d be good together, you know? You were friends in high school, weren’t you?”

“Erm.” Harry swallows. “Friends isn’t exactly the term I’d use.” Niall doesn’t need to know what terms he would use.

Or, Harry and Louis kind of secretly sort of dated in high school. Now it's two years later and they're both back in town for Christmas and it's awkward. Until it isn't.

💎 Battle Of The Balls by bluegreenish / @greenblueish (M, 5k)

“Rim of the hole, Haz, really?” he gazes at the camera again. “This is getting demonetised and honestly, rightfully so. How are we still allowed to make videos? YouTube, why don’t you just do yourself the favour and delete our channels?”

“After everyone sees that I win this game though,” Harry winks, dimples still showing. 

or, the one where YouTubers Harry and Louis play Golf With Friends, go to the pub with Niall and return home six hours after posting the video.

[youwillfindilluminating]

Roy x Jamie x Keeley & Roy x Jamie fic recs - Part 3

Part 1 is here

Part 2 is here

These recs cover the fics I’ve read from about 6/19/23 - 11/23/23, but some of them were written earlier. Sometimes there are spoilers for the fics themselves in the descriptions/quotes, but not too many. (They're all happily-ever-afters anyway. 🥰)

-

Roy x Jamie x Keeley:

Heart Trouble - MoreThanSlightly (cadignan) - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 7k. Set post-S3-fist-fight at Keeley’s. She asks them to reenact their fight and basically physically shoves them together in a NOW KISS situation. It’s fantastic! Roy working through his feelings, figuring his shit out in the moment - with lots of help from Keeley. Keeley directs R & J, and then she kicks them out to shower, and they still get kebabs and talk about their feelings.

family, right - jedusaur - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @jedusaur 3k. Jamie and Keeley go to a Pride parade with Phoebe and the team. Roy stays home and bakes them a rainbow cake, because he wants to be private about that kind of thing. It’s all very sweet! (No pun intended.)

There are so many quiet people Roy could have fallen in love with.

Triple blend - Dancey96 - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 7k. Holy SHIT, this is fantastic. An OT3 fic set right after Keeley kicks them out in S3. Roy and Jamie go to the kebab shop and talk about what she meant by “mixing their coffees.” The feelings and the way they take care of Jamie and just everything about it is so perfect. This could be canon.

Jamie licks the corner of his mouth, tongue poking out as he smirks at Roy. “You’d have sex with me, then?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Roy groans.

-

“That I was queer?”

Roy snaps his head up to look at Jamie. “You can’t say that.”

“Yes, I can,” Jamie says. “We’ve reclaimed it or whatever. That’s the word I use.”

-

“What are we gonna do with this one?” she asks.

“You tell me,” Roy offers, fingers scratching at Jamie’s scalp absently.

“You’re gonna make me come too soon, is what your gonna do,” Jamie manages to get out, teeth clenched under the strain of staying still.

we start and end as one - Chapter 1 - FlYiNgPiGlEtS - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. An OT3 established relationship fic where Roy and Jamie get in a fight after Jamie is asked to come back on Love Conquers All (he says no, obviously). I love a good fight and make up fic! The last chapter with the convo between Roy and Jamie is so great.

the body of someone you love - goodmorninglovelies - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @goodmorninglovelies42 2k. OT3 h/c where Jamie gets rear-ended by Colin when leaving practice. He gets stitches and Roy is all pissy because he only knows how to express his worry as anger. Then he and Jamie fight a bit. Keeley draws Jamie a bath at home and Roy apologizes. It’s lovely!

-

Roy x Jamie:

so afraid that time will take it all from me - LikeAMovieIOnceSaw - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 10k. A really good fic about Roy being gay. Starts from when he was little through all the Ted Lasso seasons, basically. Kind of an AU/rewrite. The scene where he and Jamie finally kiss at his house is really, really sweet. Roy starts crying because he’s so overwhelmed and didn’t think he could allow himself to have this. Also some cute stuff with Phoebe like Uncle’s Day and Roy and her going to the England match. I’m always impressed by Roy fics because the man will forever remain a mystery to me.

let your hook be always cast - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  @literatus-ao3 25k. The fic starts when Jamie joins the team. There is SO much good pining, from both of them, although Roy doesn’t get it yet. And there’s a good amount of angst because obviously Jamie’s loved him forever and Roy treats him like shit when he first gets to the team. Then Roy starts to have sex dreams about Jamie, and they’re hot. Jamie is also super cute with Phoebe. He’s her favorite player and there’s a cute scene where Roy introduces them, and Jamie suggests they play a little football.

“Her mum is bringing her around in thirty minutes, and you’re going to be nice and fucking charming and you’re not going to upset her. If you do, I’ll rearrange that pretty fucking face of yours.”

Jamie blinks at him slowly. “You think I’m pretty.”

absolutely definitely nota - Chapter 1 - talkfast - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 12k. Roy watches Lust Conquers All with the yoga mums. Sort of a speed run/AU of S2 and S3 where Roy hugs Jamie after his fight with his dad, and starts training him much sooner (I think).  [Stefon voice] This fic has everything - Magic pancakes, tunnel hugs, Jamie finding out Roy watched Lust Conquers All and being self-conscious about his nails being painted on the show, Jamie painting Roy’s nails, the yoga mums meeting Jamie then making Roy a cake about it, and a tandem bike gag gift!

The moment feels too gentle. Like Roy should set the volume to maximum and startle Jamie awake.

He doesn’t do that.

Instead he just fucking sits there until Jamie shifts and stretches out his limbs with a hum. Jamie blinks blearily at the ceiling and turns towards Roy without lifting his head from the couch cushion. When he sees that Roy is still there, his mouth curves into a sweet smile.

Roy’s heart stops for a second.

I could be violet sky - liesmyth - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @liesmyth 9k. Sadist Roy and accommodating Jamie written by one of the best authors out there! Jamie finds out Roy gets off on hurting him. Everything is consensual. In the end they talk more, and Roy admits he likes it even more because Jamie isn’t into pain. But Jamie likes it when he slaps him because it “means he’s his.” ROMANTIC BDSM MY BELOVED.

That’s kind of a trend—after Roy’s rough with him, he likes to hover, oddly solicitous, and Jamie’s not above taking shameless advantage. If Roy really wants to attend to his every need, then good for him—Jamie’s got plenty of those. He sends Roy running round the house to get him freshly squeezed orange juice or Jamie’s favorite pillow that he left in the bedroom, and Roy tells him to fuck off but he still does it, and always tilts down his chin to accept a kiss.

-

“I can be great all the time. Watch me.”

“I’m always watching you.” Roy’s voice is raw, frightfully open. “Leave me no other choice, do you?”

Roy Kent's Dramatic but Inevitable Jamie Tartt Induced Bisexual Awakening - chelicerata - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  8k. This is part 1 of a lovely set of fics. Roy kisses Jamie when they’re on the couch after he makes dinner for them, they fool around, and then Roy freaks out a bit and Jamie leaves. There is a little bit of angst here! Eventually Roy apologizes (after talking with Keeley about bi stuff), and then R & J have dinner and fool around but this time with feelings! Poster talk. Light D/s. All things that are good.

The thing about him and Jamie - the worst part, the absolute worst part, the part he thinks about when staring up at his ceiling at four in the fucking morning is that Roy doesn’t just want to fuck Jamie, and doesn’t just want to be his friend again. He wants to kiss his stupid pouting face and tell him what a good job he’s doing and fucking cuddle with him at night and sink his teeth in and never, ever, ever let him go.

-

“I’m not doing anything to fuck up my star player,” Roy says, aware that he’s being completely fucking mental about it.

“Your star player, am I?” Jamie looks immensely pleased and at least a little turned on.

Roy Kent's Long and Incredibly Fucking Irritating Coming Out Saga - chelicerata - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] Part 2 of the above fic. 10k. Established relationship from Roy’s perspective. The process of coming out to various people – Phoebe, Georgie and Simon, etc. This fic is so gorgeous, and you already know I’m impressed by Roy meta!

“You’re… out?” The words feel awkwardly shaped in Roy’s mouth, like he’s mimicking lines that he’s only seen in films, lines that shouldn’t belong to him.

better than dreaming - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 16k. Get-together fic. Jamie buys Roy a Garmin watch and it tells him every time Jamie jerks off (via his wrist). Lots of talk about how Jamie used to be obsessed with him (which I love!). And Roy telling Jamie he can keep a house key. And Roy wanting more than sex. And just!!! So many lines in this made me want to scream with happiness.

“Easy,” Jamie soothes, like he’s coaxing a skittish animal. “Bet you’ve not been wanking. Probably afraid you were going to think about me, right?”

Roy’s skin heats. “Shut up.”

“I think about you,” Jamie says, conversationally. “Have done for fucking years. That poster on my wall I told you about—we had a beautiful relationship.” His eyes are dark and lovely. “I had this fantasy ‘bout you.”

-

Roy could fall asleep like this, standing up and with Jamie in his arms. “I don’t yell at you.”

“Yeah, you do.” Jamie presses in closer, dipping his head so that his entire face is pressed into the curve of Roy’s neck. “Like it though. Makes me better. Feels like you care.”

There’s so much to unpack in that, too much for when there’s Phoebe in the other room. So he spreads his palm across Jamie’s back instead, letting it settle right between his shoulder blades while fighting the urge to dip the other beneath his jacket to touch skin.

where it goes from here - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] A 12k fic where Jamie gets hit in the butt with a ball, and that leads to them getting together. FULL of fanboy Jamie (he gets fucked in the trophy room). The dialog is really good, and the ending is so sweet. Roy tells Jamie he wants a proper relationship. This particular bit has been stuck in my head ever since:

“I’m…a lot. I don’t mean to be, but I’m…Keeley said I’m suffocating.”

“I’m not Keeley,” he says, relaxing, happiness spreading through him and making his toes tingle. “Fucking suffocate me, coach. More suffocation.”

run it up - immordelle - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 16k. Roy accidentally becomes Jamie’s sugar daddy. Or rather, he shows his love through gifts. This is one of those fics that I read basically having to stop and whisper-scream into my hands, it’s so good.

The cologne, the necklace, the way everyone at Richmond and every journalist at their press conferences know, without needing it to be said aloud, that Jamie is Roy’s pet project. He’s been Roy’s this whole time.

-

“Are we going shopping?” he asks. […]

“I’m taking you shopping,” he corrects, and Jamie’s eyes widen.

7 for Roy x Jamie. Also, I adore your writing! ❤ - do i dare disturb the universe (tumblr.com) A tumblr ficlet by @reinvent-and-believe where Georgie teases Roy for being like two years younger than her and she also teases Jamie about his crush on Roy when he was younger. Love at first sight! Pure fluff. <3

A Sure Thing - smashthatlikebutton - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 14k. Jamie meets the yoga mums. Fake dating, kind of. I usually don’t like fake dating that much, but I read this and OH BOY I’m so glad I did! Roy brings Jamie to yoga night, and when the ladies assume they’re together, neither Roy nor Jamie corrects them. When Roy calls Jamie “love,” … I will NEVER RECOVER. This has the feel of a romance novel in the best way, I don’t know how else to describe it.

“Uh, no thanks,” Jamie says, looking at Roy for permission first. As though Roy would let him drink on this diet, let alone in the run-up to the Everton match. Christine raises her eyebrows at the two of them, like ”I didn’t know the two of you were like that.” Roy is incredibly surprised when Jamie flushes all over, “It’s not— he’s my— it’s part of my training.”

-

Jamie stares at him. “You’re nothing like him, you know that, right? You’re not an arsehole. Well, you are, but not in that way. You’re nice, even. In your own way.” 

Roy isn’t choked up. He is not going to cry. He stares straight ahead of him and blinks rapidly.

a little of what's going on - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  A 10k fic where Roy convinces Jamie to do coke at Ted’s going away party. The hotness and the sweetness are truly cranked up to 11 here.

“Oi,” Jamie laughs. “How d’you flirt then? Is it all—I’m Roy Kent, fuck me?” “Let’s find out,” he says, lowering his voice and leaning closer. Jamie freezes, eyes wide as Roy’s voice turns into a velvet rumble. “I’m Roy Kent, fuck me.” Jamie whimpers. “You prick.”

-

“You’re fucking important to me. Muppet.”

Jamie huffs a laugh, hands fluttering light and hopeful against Roy’s side. “You love the Muppets.”

I love you, Roy thinks, but he’s not going to put that out there. Not now.

suffering, the optional pain - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 10k. Fuuucking Christ, I loved this one. This one might not be for everyone because it isn’t that fluffy, but ohhh boy, if it’s your thing it’ll hit just right. I love a fight within an established relationship, and this one doesn’t shy away from Roy being a bastard and really snapping at everyone. Roy fucks up his knee when playing with Phoebe and gets real pissed about it. Treats everyone like shit for days. Yells at a player, snaps at Phoebe when she runs into him and it hurts his knee again. Jamie has to set him straight. Bottom!Roy, D/s, very mild dub-con.

“I deserve a fucking medal for putting up with you. Fucking hard work, you are. Making everyone walk on eggshells around you. It’s rude, is what it is. What the fuck am I going to do with you, huh?”

-

Gen:

Something to be said - macaronicism - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 6k. A really great fic from 2021 that deals with post-Man City stuff. Jamie’s nervous to go back to practice and face the guys, but he does and it’s all fine. He talks to Sam and Ted and finally Roy. It’s all very sweet and protective and really well done. This needed to happen in canon!

Lemons and Lavender - LivingProof - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. A Jamie h/c fic from 2021. He ends up in the hospital and at first his dad shows up and is a piece of shit, then Roy and Ted show up and save the day. It’s SO precious. It’s technically gen, but it could be read as pre-slash. The writing is fantastic. Fuzzy Jamie written in a believable way.

Letting go, holding on - Chapter 1 - macaronicism - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. Another amazing h/c story that is technically platonic. Set after the finale. Roy apologizes to Jamie about the beer date thing being about Keeley. Then finds out Jamie is planning on talking to his dad, and tells him he’s against it. Lots of emotional h/c!  Jamie stays the night at Roy’s in the spare room and gets some good sleep, and Roy gets Ted to come over the next day and talk to Jamie more about his dad, etc. <3

[sylvies-chen]

okay I’ve refrained from posting my thoughts on the ted lasso finale until now in the interest of making sure they’re expressed properly so that people understand how correct my opinions actually are. but I’m here and I’m queer and LET’S DO IT FOLKS:

TED LASSO FINALE THOUGHTS

THE GOOD:

Nate!! Nate was a timid, sweet note in this episode. It was such a gentle little reintegration of his character back into the team and seeing him get a secure happy ending after all that time of insecurity was the part of the episode that provided the MOST payoff. Seeing Nick Mohammed’s post about Nate and his family life and understanding how much he put into that character was so beautiful to see too. I adore actors who very publicly (and in a nerdy way) love their craft!

His conversation with Ted also made me cry like I have never cried before.

COLIN KISSED HIS FELLA AFTER A WIN!! Ugh such a beautiful payoff and full circle moment for him, I was truly squealing with joy <3

The team’s rendition of So Long, Farewell had me GIGGLINGGG oh my god, I’m a die hard Sound of Music fan so I loved it! I would have maybe liked a little more emotion from Ted, I felt like his reaction was kind of… meh? meek? but other than that the song itself was FANTASTIC.

Obviously I love that they won the game, duh

They also had a lot of really amazing and thoughtful callbacks in this episode, like Keeley’s parallel to her entrance in the pilot was great, Ted’s bbq sauce mantra, Nate leaping into Ted’s arms, the ussie guy, the winning play being the play from season 1. All of those little moments showed a strong attention to detail I truly loved.

I love that Rupert made HIMSELF unlikeable in the end. Rebecca didn’t need to ruin his life; she stopped caring and soon saw he was doing a perfectly fine job of doing it himself. Karma truly is Rebecca Welton’s boyfriend!! Or is it?

Jake the motherfucking client seducer over here turning out to be a total dud like yesss!! I don’t want Ted and Michele back together by any means but fuck that guy lol, glad to see she and Henry were getting sick of him

BELIEVE. 😭

Which leads me to…

THE BAD:

I know you all know I ship Tedbecca, but this is truly not coming from a shipper standpoint when I say that that first scene of them was absolute BAIT. It was pretty disappointing because I know Ted Lasso’s been prone to red herrings and fakeouts every now and then but I didn’t take it as a show that would truly bait their fans with something like that??

I don’t care if I’m biased, I don’t care if the writers were trying to be avant-garde with their ending for rebecca, I’ll say what I’m about to say a million times: writing off 1 of your 2 most main characters into a happy ending with a man whose name the audience doesn’t even know is literally never a good writing decision. I think this should be obvious.

I have no hate to Boat Guy, Rebecca’s whole thing with him was basically the plot of Before Sunrise + Before Sunset (all hail Richard Lanklater) if someone watched those movies and then tried condensing them into fifteen accumulated minutes of television

Keeley, Roy, Jamie… they did you three so fucking dirty my babes. Keeley you especially. I’m beyond disappointed, bordering on genuinely hurt, by how much they screwed up Keeley and all of her adjacent storylines this season.

I loved RoyKeeley so much in seasons 1 and 2, they had such a sweetness and a magic to them. There were so many elements like that to season 1 and 2 that I feel the writers gave up on in the name of growth or… honestly, at this point, I don’t know why they did this. Roy was a little insecure in seasons 1 and 2, but I never felt like he was needy. It felt so cruel to have shown us RoyKeeley in all of these moments of such stability, such healthiness, and such genuine love for so long and then rip it away for some version of Roy Kent that felt hollow, twisted, and who just Did Not Get It. It makes me so sad.

It makes me sad for Jamie too. Him falling for Keeley again was like the last thing I needed to see from his character. There’s so much else they could have done with him, and instead they took that beautiful moment of him being accountable and respectful with Keeley and the tape, and they turned it into something ugly: they had him weaponize it as a bargaining chip against Roy.

I don’t understand why they thought having our favs engaged in this very sexist outdated convo with such possessive language in the name of comedy was a good idea. I get it was poking fun at them but it was the kind of fun that shouldn’t have to be poked at by now. They’re not these men, I don’t recognize this version of them. It’s such a regression.

speaking of weird and uncomfortable shit being played off for laughs… beard and jane got married! ted wasn’t even there! she shredded his passport to keep him in captivity! how creepy! (see the joke is that they’re crazy and do toxic things to each other. you’re supposed to laugh.)

[saywhatjessie]

you should take your sweater off first, pal

Day six of the Advent calendar! Using this list. Day 6: Sweater Weather. Fandom: Ted Lasso - Pairing: RoyJamie 1.1k[Ao3]

“What is the fucking point of all the ugly clothes you buy if you’re just going to steal mine?”

“I refuse to be lectured on fashion from someone who only wears things that are black and black adjacent.”

“This isn’t a lecture – that was clearly an irritated aside on a different complaint. The complaint being you are wearing my fucking sweater.”

“Well it’s cozy, innit! Ain’t my fault you only have clothes from fifty years ago and they don’t make things like they used to.”

Roy grunted. He wanted to argue that the state of fast fashion was not his fault and he should not be punished but, if he were being honest with himself – and he tried to do that more these days – seeing Jamie in his clothes wasn’t exactly a punishment.

“Well what are we going to do when your stupid shoulders stretch it out?”

“I assume you’ll thank whichever god you want for giving you a boyfriend with such massive and sexy shoulders.”

Roy growled. Jamie stuck his tongue out.

“Well seeing as the damage is already done, you can keep wearing that one.” Jamie preened. “But no more. I only have so many sweaters from 50 years ago, I’d like you not to disfigure the others.”

Jamie pouted. “Well what happens when this one don’t smell like your old man stink anymore? I mean there are worse fates for a jumper than to smell like Jamie Tartt, but it shouldn’t forget where it comes from.”

“It can’t remember anything, it’s a fucking sweater,” Roy said, rolling his eyes. “You can just say you like that it smells like me.”

Jamie shook his head. “Can’t say that. You’ll get a big head.”

“We have fucked in my trophy room, I already know you’re obsessed with me.”

“Says the man who wanked to a youtube compilation of Jamie Tartt’s best goals!”

“You were there too! You fucking helped!”

“Well I know I’m fit, why wouldn’t I get off to me?”

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re getting sidetracked.”

Jamie retreated further into the sweater, pouting at Roy with his chin tucked in the collar and the sleeves over his hands.

Roy sighed. “I will wear the sweater when it loses my smell so it smells like me again. Happy?”

It’s all fine until Roy is called into an emergency meeting with the fucking Diamond Dogs.

Jamie grinned. “I’ll be happier if you give us a cuddle. I’m still freezin’. Honestly, grandad, you’re stinking rich. You can afford to properly heat your house.”

“I’m filing a complaint with HR,” Roy said as soon as the Facetime call connected. “I shouldn’t be called into these after working hours.”

Ted made a ‘pshh’ sound. “Diamond Dogs ain’t work, Roy! I’d say we’re more pleasure than business.”

“Well that’s definitely a call to HR,” Trent said, smirking.

“Higgins might be asleep already,” Nate noted, rubbing his eyes. “Ted, did you forget the time difference?”

“Little bit, yeah” Ted winced. “I never did get the hang of doing it the other way. So used to thinking backwards than forwards.”

“It’s not that late,” Roy grunted. “Higgins just might be asleep because he’s got so many fucking kids. Not sure what Nate’s excuse is.”

“Fell asleep on the couch watching a film.” Nate explained, shrugging. “Didn't mean to. This call waking me up actually probably saved my back.”

“Well good!” Ted beamed. “And what a treat it is to see you all in your comfy clothes, too. Trent is that a blanket hoodie?”

Trent hummed. “Softest and warmest thing I’ve ever owned.”

“I’m more surprised by Roy,” Beard said, totally deadpan. “I’ve never seen you anything so ill fitting.”

Roy looked down to see he was wearing The Jamie Sweater.

He grunted. “Used to fit until Jamie stole it. fucking muppet stretched it all out.”

“He’s like a labrador that still thinks he’s a lap dog even after he gets big,” Ted mused, fondly. Roy snorted in agreement.

“Why not just give it to him if it doesn’t fit you anymore?” Nate asked.

“I did.”

Beard raised an eyebrow. “But you’re wearing it.”

Roy growled, crossing his arms.

“Well,” Trent said, appearing very much like the smug reporter he used to be. "Knowing what I do about borrowing boyfriend’s sweaters – both being a boyfriend whose sweater was borrowed and having borrowed sweaters from boyfriends – I’d say Roy is performing the standard smell return.”

Beard grinned, crossing his arms too. “You’re making the sweater smell like you again for your boyfriend.”

“Shut it,” Roy growled.

“Aw, now Roy, that’s sweeter than an immediate hotel room full of chocolate bars.”

Nate nodded. “Suite full of sweets toot sweet.”

Ted and Beard pointed at him.

“I’m hanging up,” Roy said.

“I’m here!” Higgins said, call connecting as he wheezed through some requisite howls. “What have I missed?”

“Mostly Roy and Jamie being shockingly wholesome as a couple,” Beard answered.

“Aw!” Higgins smiled.

When they finished their meeting, it was half ten, and Jamie was already in bed. They didn’t do 4am training anymore since Roy was manager, but Jamie did get up and train on his own most mornings before they headed into Nelson Road. Gave Roy more time for all the shitty boring manager paperowk he had to do now but it did mean more early nights.

“No,” Roy said “Fuck off enough about me." He let out a massive bark. “Ted, what the fuck is your problem?”

Early nights they spent together because they were surprisingly wholesome. Fuck Roy’s life.

Roy removed his trousers and crawled in next to him, Jamie immediately turning to nuzzle into his chest.

“Fucking Diamond Dogs saw what you did to my sweater and think we’re sweet now.”

Jamie snorted. “No amount of clothes sharing could make you sweet. You’re Roy fucking Kent. You’re a bitter old cunt and that’s why we love you.”

Roy hummed. “Bitter like unsweetened dark chocolate.”

“Bitter like stale coffee you keep in the back of the cabinet for the weirdos who don’t drink tea.”

Roy smiled, a small thing that he was sure Jamie could still see even with his eyes closed. “Thanks, babe.”

Jamie hummed, his hand running over Roy’s chest. “You know it’s about the same level of furriness with and without the sweater,” Jamie noted.

Roy rolled his eyes. “I hate you,” he said, kissing the top of Jamie’s head.

“I know,” Jamie answered on a happy sigh. “But you’re really bad at it.”.

[csigeoblue]

Double Date Part 2 - Roy Kent x Platonic!Reader (Ted Lasso)

A/N: Roy being the bestest friend and keeping you safe. Part 1 It was pretty late when you made it inside Nelson Road. You kept your hoodie up to try to cover as much of your face as you could. Grateful the guy who lived in the Stadium let you in the door after you mentioned Roy's name without asking any questions Walking through the tunnels with the lights flickering only enhanced your sense of dread. You couldn't shake the feeling of being watched even though you knew no one else was there at this time of night. While you didn't have a good plan, you knew you could hide in the boot room since it had the most privacy and leave through the tunnels in the morning before the team arrived.

Keep reading

Yeah you could've called Roy but it was late and you didn't want to put him out over this. He'd told you a thousand times that Luke was bad news but you swore up and down he wasn't anything other than a gentleman. What a liar you turned out to be. By the time you made it inside to the boot room, your adrenaline had faded. You finally felt safe and curled up on the floor behind the boot wall.

____________________

When Will showed up in the morning, he was ready to tackle the day. Although he never quite won over Nate Shelley while he was around, the Greyhounds had been very receptive to his little improvements he'd made to Nate's processes. Because of this he liked to start off the day in the locker room reviewing everything he'd set out the night before and sprayed a lavender scent there and in the boot room to start the day off right. Not today though. Upon entering the boot room, he knew something was off. There were dirt tracks left on his floor! He followed them cautiously around the corner of the boot wall to find... you. fast asleep. Oh wait are those scrapes on your face?! Blood? Oh dear. Will checked his watch and knew that the coaches should be here any minute. For now, you didn't show any signs of waking but the room was chilly so he took towel and laid it gently around you in case you were cold. With that he left the room as quietly as he could to find Roy ideally but Ted would do too.

______________________

"Ey, uh.. Coach Kent?" Roy continued ignoring Will who'd stood at his door for 5 minutes already before saying anything.

"Coach, Sorry to disturb you so soon after you've arrived but you're needed in the Boot Room." Will fumbled his way through the sentence but he finally got Roy's attention.

"Why the fuck would I need to go to the fucking smellyarse Boot Room first the in the fucking morning?" Roy didn't yell but Will was nodding along polite as he is. He took a deep breathe and finally told the whole truth.

"Because I found your friend Y/F/N Y/L/N in there asleep when I came in this morning with her face a little cut up. Coach, I think she spent the night here."

Roy was up and out of his chair before Will could even finish his sentence once he said you were the reason he was needed in the boot room. Fuuucking hell. What did that prick do to you?

His answer came shortly after that thought as you started mumbling and twitching in your sleep.

He had been just so angry that evening. Ever since that double date, things got worse. He was mean and a little picky before but that night when you arrive home he slammed the door and turned on you, shoving you to the ground. You felt your heart leap into your throat afraid that he would come back so you locked yourself in the bathroom until he went to bed.

"You fucking bitch, you tried to upstage me with your friends huh?" CRASH. There goes the lamp from your coffee table falling into pieces on the floor.

"No no, that wasn't it. I didn't want them to think you were mean when you called your trainees idiots is all. I was trying to fix it. I'm sorry I'm sorry."

"You think I'm mean? You were trying to fix me? I am the best damn thing to ever happen to you. Where would you be without me?" CRASH except this time the glass he threw at the wall was too close to your face and the some shards ricocheted off the wall scraping your face a bit. It was in that moment that you woke up with a start arms flailing, knocking the blanket Will had draped over you away.

"Don't touch me!" Roy's heart broke as he watched you take in your surroundings as you realized you weren't in that horrid memory but at Nelson Road with him in front of you arms up in surrender.

He stayed right where he was as you took deep breathes to try to calm your breathing but it wasn't working. Your panic was increasing instead of subsiding. As you dropped your head on your knees and wrapped your arms around your legs to form a ball, Roy sat down next to you taking you under his arm so you were curled up against him. He texted Keeley.

RK: Y/N is here. It's bad. I don't car what she says she can't go back to that prick. He hurt her. She's going to stay with us for a bit. That okay w u?

KJ: Ofcourse love! Fuck that piece of shit. Do you need me to come there?

RK: Not yet, I've got them for now. Can you ready the guest room just in case? *Keeley reacted with a heart emoji.

Roy smlied at his phone and then pulled you closer.

"Fuck that guy. Fuck what happened. I'm here and you're safe."

[veryace-ficrecs]

Valentines Day Fic Recs

Happy valentines day! this list will be fics focused around or on valentines day! Enjoy!

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

One Piece

waiting by tinyjet7 - Rated G

zoro watches sanji hand out treats to everyone but him.

Ship to Sea, Lock to Key by 8ball - Rated G

“I want to buy the cook a restaurant.”

Ted Lasso

Take My Whole Life Too by ItsClydeBitches - Rated G

Ted Lasso was the kind of man who taught NSYNC choreography for a going away party and bent his players into impossible positions just to say “Hi, Boss!” in the morning. He’d organized fearsome bets over darts, baked heavenly biscuits on the regular, and had requested at least two boxes from Nate Shelley’s niece, one of which still sat on a shelf in his office, despite the betrayal. Ted was also a passionate believer in what he referred to as “rom-communism,” all the trappings included. In retrospect, Trent should have known he’d go all out for Valentine’s Day.

9-1-1

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart by Phreakycat - Rated T

In which Buck helps Christopher with his Valentines for school, and discovers some things about himself. OR Buck is oblivious, but Eddie loves him anyway.

be my valentine by coupe_de_foudre - Rated G

“What sort of stupid joke is this, Buck?” Buck gapes, holding his hands up in mock-surrender. “Hey, I didn’t do this! I was driving.” (or Christopher gets sick of his dad and Buck being oblivious idiots and decides to help them out)

Stranger Things

Be My Valentine? by Sharpbutsoft (BuckysButt) - Rated T

“Aren’t you sick of me, yet?” Eddie asks, joint dangling precariously between two fingers. He’s stretched out on the floor of his bedroom. It’s this ritual he and Steve have been sharing for months now. Light some incense, order pizza, share a joint or three and give voice to the half-formed thoughts swirling round their heads. Eddie’s been balancing on the precipice of this conversation for longer than he’d care to admit. Exposing himself, pushing a boundary he knows better than to break.  This thing with Steve, this delicate relationship, if you could even call it that. It still feels new, fresh. Fragile. And Eddie’s not known for handling these things with care. Smash first, ask questions later. 

Cupid's One-Shot by DeadEyedGemini - Rated T

When Will Byers calls him up on a Saturday afternoon to invite him to come and play a surprise One-Shot at Gareth's house on Valentine's Day he doesn't really have a reason to say no, it's not like has a date or anything better to do. Imagine his surprise when he showed up to find that not only is Robin Buckley there to play but so is his long-time crush and friend, Steve Harrington. Soon it becomes apparent that everyone seems to be in on some secret that Eddie isn't aware of, but also that this one-shot might have an alternative motive than just being something to do on a Tuesday night.

IT

cherry cordial by ShowMeAHero - Rated E

He’s staring down hard at his phone, scrolling aimlessly through Facebook without reading anything, when someone bumps into him. Whoever it is grabs the pole, their hands brushing against each other’s. Right in his ear, the guy says, “Fucking shit, you’re hot.” Eddie’s head jerks up, startled, and he meets the bright blue eyes of a man at least eight inches taller than him. The guy’s got a pink knit cap tugged down over his head and a spill of curls falling down from it, his glasses fogging up in the warmth of the train car. “What?” Eddie demands.

Supernatural

(un)attached by one_more_offbeat_anthem - Rated G

Three months after Chuck's defeat, Dean is spending his Valentine's Day eating spaghetti and making cards with Jack while his brother goes on a post-hunt vacation. And then Jack asks if he can make a card for Cas.

Bee my Valentine? by your_average_fangirl256 - Rated G

Valentine's Day Fluff.

Dean builds Cas a garden..and Cas proposes in it. There are Pie and Bees too.

Teen Wolf

Candy-Coated Roses by simplyambyy - Rated G

Holidays at work are always a festive time and Valentine’s Day is no exception. The entire building is covered in hearts and flowers while the front desk of every floor has a dish of Hershey’s kisses wrapped in red, pink, and silver foil. Stiles exits the elevator and makes his way towards his cubicle, smiling and murmuring greetings to his favorite co-workers on his way. For some reason, the twenty-six-year-old was in a pretty good mood and it might have to do with the cherry-flavored lollipop he knew was waiting for him at his cubicle. What Stiles isn’t expecting is the pile of roses and lollipops covering his desk space.

Craigslist Valentine by Triangulum - Rated E

The Craigslist ad had been because Peter had been wonderfully, spectacularly drunk. Reservations for the Palm are hard to get, even for someone like Peter, and he's had his name down for eight months. He refuses to waste it. If he hadn't been trashed on expensive pinot noir, he would have considered maybe inviting his best friend, Chris, or taking out a niece or nephew. But no, he'd been three sheets to the wind and decided that he needed to share his Valentine's Day dinner reservations with a random stranger. Or Peter refuses to let good dinner reservations go to waste just because his (ex)girlfriend cheated on him. He drunkenly makes a Craigslist ad to find a date, and Stiles answers.

Labyrinth (1986)

Valentine Revisions by Rayac - Rated M

As part of a cathartic exercise, Sarah is dared to prepare some unusual Valentines for the men of her past. She never planned on the Goblin King actually receiving his or that he would meet her revised expectations. But does he ever.

Star Wars

no place like home by ShowMeAHero - Rated G

“Anything else?” she asks, ringing up his coffees. The ding, ding-ding, ding, ding of the register’s buttons wakes Han up a little bit more. “Yeah,” he says, “I’ll have a pack of, uhh… Whatever’s cheapest.” He taps his blunt nails on the vinyl countertop. “And do you have those little, like— Those little cards kids give each other?” “Like, the little folding ones?” she asks him. “You realize that today is—” “Yeah, I’m aware."

Merlin

From the Heart by supercalvin - Rated G

In which Arthur gives Merlin gifts. “No.” Morgana shook her head, “No, see you don’t understand.” Morgana took him by the shoulder and pulled him close as if to divulge a secret. “Arthur Pendragon does not give good gifts. He is actually the worst gift-giver in all of England.” “Oh come on, the scarf isn’t that bad.” Merlin said, now kind of insulted for the piece of fabric. “Merlin, the scarf is perfect for you. It’s a good gift. Arthur doesn’t give good gifts.”

[hopefulromances]

maybe prompt 43 “You always come here when you’re upset.” with jamie? like him and reader have known each other for a long time and she follows him throughout his career and he goes to one of their favorite places maybe either after jamie has his encounter with his dad or something that happened to the reader and she goes that somewhere instead? (and my pronouns are she/her) also i love your writing so much it’s amazing

Thank you so much <3. I think I know what you're asking for! I hope you enjoy!

Also I cannot stop myself from putting Taylor Swift references into everything I write I'm sorry.

43. “You always come here when you’re upset.”

You kicked the grass in the open field, aluminated by the tall stadium lights in the corners of the field. It'd been a while and you weren't sure if Jamie would show up. It had been a few years since you'd seem him last.

You grew up in Manchester, just down the street from Jamie's house. You'd been there for him everytime his parent's fought or his dad came home drunk. At one point, you'd even convinced him that his house was haunted, and that was why his dad was always mad. The two of you would hide in the closet and pretend to fly away to India or some other country that seemed so far away when you were young.

As you grew up, you remained close and soon found a place outside of the house to run to when something happened. An old abandoned pitch just a few miles from town. It hadn't been used in at least a decade but the lights still turned on every night for the ghosts of football games that came to life under the stars.

But Jamie was different recently. He had been since he'd been picked up at Manchester City. He'd gotten arrogant and rude. He was acting just like his father. And you'd told him as such two years ago. That was the last time he'd talked to you. But you'd read the news. He was being sent back to Manchester from Richmond, where he'd been playing on loan for a while.

Ted Lasso. Who knew someone so different could make such an impact on a team. But he was the first person to bench Jamie since... well maybe ever. Something had to have shifted in him. But being sent back to Manchester. Back to his father. It had to have hurt him. If your intution was right, and you hoped it was, he would make his way back here tonight.

It was getting late, and you were chilly. You were about to give up when you saw the headlights you'd been waiting for all night. Jamie got out of the car and leaned against it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

You shrugged, approaching him slowly. "You always come here when you're upset"

He scoffed at you. "You think you know me?"

"I think I do," You shot back. "I think you're afraid to go back to Manchester. Cause your dad is going to be sitting there waiting for you."

He snapped his head over towards you. He was angry. Angry at you, angry at his dad, angry at the world.

"Oh, fuck off," he spat, pushing himself off the car and turning on you. "I'm pissed off, cause I played Lasso's stupid game, burnt my mum's boots, and actually felt like I was making a difference at Richmond and what the fuck did it do?" I didn't really know what he was talking about but I didn't care, at least he was talking. "It did fuck all. He still sent me away. Just like everyone else in my life."

You let the statement hang in the air for a second. Waiting to see if he would continue or say anything else.

"I didn't send you away," you said quietly. "You left me... if you'll remember."

"Yeah, fucked that up too, didn't I?" he muttered.

Against your own will, you felt your feet moving you forward, lurching in Jamie's direction. When you reached him, you took his face in your hands.

"You didn't fuck that up? Okay," You shook his head gently, making your point. "You didn't fuck that up. I'm here, Jamie." He grabbed onto you, wrapping himself around you tightly. "You didn't fuck that up." You kept repeating that, over and over, as he held onto you like a lifeline. "I'm here, Jamie... I'm here."

[cherish--these--times]

i just want to tell you how much i loved your post on media literacy & tedbecca!! really well put and what i hope reasonable fans not on our side would read so they’d realize where we come from! 💜

You absolute sweetheart. Thank you for telling me that. I should have been kinder in my approach but I am simply appalled, and sick and tired by a lot of people and now Brendan Hunt (not even gonna mispell his name, I'm fucking mad) for claiming that wanting Ted and Rebecca to get together was purely us silly fans being girly girls conditioned to want the male and female leads to end up together, so we could spice up our dull little lives with some sweet sweet Disney romance. I am INCENSED. I have seen quite a few queer people here rooting for them as well, which makes this reasoning even more offensive. Also to claim that he was surprised people would take it so personally is hilarious to me. Dude... have you ever been a fan of anything before??? Don't you know how much stories matter to people?? Wasn't it the goal when you made this show????

What antis don't seem to understand is that nobody in the TedBecca fandom was claiming that there were any romantic feelings between Ted and Rebecca. That would be insane because it just wasn't the case.

However, anybody with a modicum of critical thinking could see that they were playing with romcom tropes with them. But that's not even why I think most of us began to think we were heading there. What the writers did, in what remains a beautiful, masterful way, was lead the audience paying enough attention to understand that they were MEANT to be together. In a way far more profound than mere infatuation or physical attraction. No. They were each other's guarantee of true, long-lasting happiness. That's what they've established. Because they were similar in fundamental ways (a bit silly and immensely kind for instance). They had gone through similar things, including life-defining traumas on the same fucking day, at the same fucking time, and therefore could provide the other with all the support, the care, the devotion that the other needed. And they were doing just that! They could even communicate without words. They were undoubtedly making the other greater, which is exactly what Higgins wanted for Beard and Jane. They just had not realised it yet. Better still, I thought it was fabulous to have them go on their healing journey first, reach the top of the mountain, and THEN have them realise they were the love of each other's life. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CONCEPT. Truly a spectacular story, and one they hinted at RELENTLESSLY. And until the very end. When in truth, they could have stopped this many moons ago by having Rebecca meet a nice, sweet guy (not Dutch guy, fuck him, he was creepy as hell) as soon as series 1 ended and be done with it. But no. Ooooh no. They kept that shit going until the very last episode. Even Rebecca begging Ted to stay was yet another romcom trope they dangled under our nose. They shot themselves in the foot with that one too, because Ted's determination to leave felt even more stupid and irrational when perfect solutions were handed to him on a silver platter by her (OUT OF LOVE). No wonder he didn't say a word, because nothing he could have said would have realistically justified his departure after what she offered. Nope. He kept his mouth shut because the true answer he had was: "I don't want to leave but the writers insist I must be this Magical Being that comes into people's lives to make them better and then go away in a poof of smoke and glitter. Mostly glitter. Ain't that a damn shame. I appreciate you, though."

To claim their story was never intended to be understood as such and say it was all on us for making shit up is simply untrue (and insulting, and you can fuck off). It was all there. Beautifully woven through every episode, in subtle but undeniable ways. Using, one could argue, The Lasso Way. A series of imperceptible moments all leading to the inevitable conclusion. Even this, I thought, was another hint……

And yeah, on top of that, I am FUMING over the misdirects (Bantr texting and matchbook in Ted's pocket, the latter really making my blood boil) and Dutch Guy being shamelessly Ted-coded (and all of a sudden everybody was overjoyed because he was the perfect guy for her even though everything he did that day, Ted had already done first. Minus the kiss on the ankle, offering her a foot massage and shaming her into drinking because that was fucking creepy and also Ted would never bad-mouth his ex).

I do take some comfort in seeing now a couple of articles online denouncing the way we, as an audience, were treated. You know, people who have media literacy, unlike us, apparently??

I'm angry, annoyed, insulted, but mostly I'm just sad. Because they ruined that show for a lot of people, including myself, and a few of their own characters in the process.