#it's so great and cole's quips have been killing me

[jackdup]

Nothing got Timothy’s head in the game quite like imminent danger. And it was hilarious, actually, for about a million different reasons, and some to which he was entirely oblivious. Living in this crapshoot of a universe, first of all, basically meant danger by default: like a never-ending Danger Convention where everyone got together and tried to kill each other just for the fun of it all . . . or the horror, if you were one of the sad saps just trying to exist without getting maimed. You’d think the latter would fit Timmy’s vibe, right? Ha. God, you’d think. But wasn’t there a saying some asshole came up with about that?

You never feel more alive than when you’re almost dead. . . . or something or somesuch.

See? That was another part of the hilarity of it all: Timmy felt pretty friggin’ dead inside the majority of the time. But he was also in peril probably another good majority of the time, so where the hell did that even put him in all of this—?

Other than knowing he at least had enough self-preservation to pick up the pace the instant he heard the urgency in his partner’s tone. (Kind of one of those “I died inside a long time ago; I don’t need to also be dead outside” feelings. [But all in a fun and fresh way! —as opposed to teenage angst or whatever.])

He decided to focus on that immediate threat over . . . Cole quite possibly taking his mention of returning as an invitation. Or, more importantly, the fact that his stupid ass would probably still go along with it.

“You’re lucky I didn’t skip leg day,” he murmured as he finished emptying the crate he’d been rifling through, hefting the loot up over his shoulder. More like ‘You’re lucky Jack made me do all his dirty work.’ Lazy sonofa— As he rejoined Cole at the entrance, he took stock of Peacekeeper ready in the guy’s hand, his attention then swiveling outward to that darkened alley for any sign of movement. Timothy clicked his tongue, readjusted the weight of their spoils to free up one of his own hands.

“Make way, cupcake; I know a few back passages in these parts. Might as well be a specialty of mine at this rate: y'know, finding secret holes to—” He hesitated, as if he could almost hear a bastard (The Bastard) cackling in his head. And . . . out of his head, apparently. Yeah, he definitely snickered. “Don't take that out of context.”

The petname jabs a humored snort out of his ribs as Timothy steps through the threshold and into the shadowed steel carving out the vault stomach. Cole slicks a huffing "Anytime," to the return address, stamps it with a shaking head and rolling eyes, before slotting his attention back to narrow esophagus of an alleyway, to its yawning maw that spills into a dead, vacant street shining moonlight grey.

It's noiseless, save for the rhythmic drumming of Tim's receding footsteps, the ocassional creak of catwalk metal. Timothy' voice squabbles out dimly from the dark, words like tides breaking syllables against the silence. It's enough to dull the small itch nipping at his fingers, the phantom twitch looking for the rounded stomach of a cigar.

A quip curbs his drawl, blunting the edges of a deadpan flat: "Makin' a real convincin' argument there, Jim." It's meant to make the other sweat, in that black humored way, stitched together without the pointed needle and thread of malice.

Movement flutters between the slabs of the corridor. Peacekeeper unsheathes from her holster, is raised nose-up into the air and holds a silver-barrelled vigil above Cole's heart. He calls back over his shoulder, warning packing heat between his words: "Reckon we got a few more minutes 'fore someone comes checkin' in."

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

DAI x BG3 matchups I need to see. I’m not good at writing crossovers nor am I clever at all. This is very much non-exhaustive and very much not the end point of these characters’ potential interactions with each other.

Karlach + Sera + Iron Bull

The absolute chaos. The absolute CHAOS. A powerhouse. Putting aside Karlach’s demon heritage aside, she and Iron Bull tossing back tankards and swapping war stories as vets that have been dealt shitty hands but continue to chug along despite it. Karlach and Sera connecting over growing up mainly on the streets and having soft spots for little ragamuffins. Plus they all talk about women’s tits a lot. I feel Sera would find Karlach sexy and funny.

Wyll + Cole

Like Solas and Varric, Wyll would take to Cole because he recognizes Cole’s desire to help others, even if his methods are a bit unorthodox. He would recognize Cole’s soul as gentle and kind, and his efforts to atone for the murders he committed in the Tower as proof of his humanity. He will join the Uncle-Dad Duo and complete the Uncle-Dad Trio. Cole would gravitate toward Wyll’s goodness in turn, and probably tell Wyll that him making a contract wasn’t foolish because in the end he saved a city, and if that was his desire, then he committed no sin in doing so.

Solas + Astarion

The messiest shit can only occur, and my messy bitch self wants to see it. Watch as Solas’s upright and stiff demeanor utterly bores Astarion. Watch as Astarion’s selfishness, penchant for violence, and casual disregard for the well-being of others utterly pisses Solas the fuck off. Watch as Astarion yawns or interrupts Solas’s lectures with a “yes, yes, we get it” or the most dramatic eyeroll and overwrought “ugh”. Watch as Solas and Astarion immediately sniff each other out as liars and schemers from first jump and hold each other at a distance, the tension spiking at random moments early in them knowing each other where the other prods at their falsehoods. Watch as Astarion is dumbfounded by Solas expressing his condolences to Astarion upon learning of Astarion’s enslavement to his master, because how could a man who holds such reproach for him still manage to feel pity? ‘It is not pity, but compassion, which you are at liberty to reject. That is your right as a free man, just as it is my right to feel it.’

In the best case scenario, Astarion calms down eventually, teasing Solas but still treating him like that friend of a friend that you grudgingly admit is useful. I think a part of Astarion would find Solas’s penchant dislike of him funny.

Vivienne + Astarion + Dorian

We are all doomed. The haughtiness will be scarcely contained. Dorian and Astarion are definitely flirting. Fucking? Not sure. But definitely flirting and enjoying killing bad guys, playfully arguing over wine, snickering over Solas’s shabby dress.

Shadowheart + Leliana

Tools forged to serve a religious order? Check. Crisis of faith? Check. Subterfuge preferred? Check.

Lae’zel + Cassandra

Soldiers recognizing soldiers. 🫡 ‘Why are the men around me so annoying.’

Minsc & Boo + Cole

Cole might be able to understand Boo! If not his speech, then his little hamster feelings. Minsc might be wary of Cole for the information that he manages to glean from Minsc’s head, but his unquestioned understanding of Boo would probably smooth that bump in the road, right?

Solas + Gale

A friend remarked that Gale would remind Solas too much of himself (prideful, ambitious) and thus they would not get along. There is that. I think that Gale would get a small smile out of Solas every now and then with his quips, because Solas himself is clearly a fan of banter; Gale would provide more of the energy in the same way Dorian does with his and Solas’s more civil banters. Gale and Solas also both hold a great measure of respect and adoration for magic as a force, an element, a piece of entirety that is beautiful for its own existence. Not simply just what magic can do for them as wielders of magic, but what it is and how it does so much to enhance a person’s understanding and interaction with the world, as precious as sight or sound.

Minthara + Iron Bull

Oh she will have him cowed in a goddamn minute. Oh man. Oh no. ‘Yes ma’am’, ‘no ma’am’.

Minthara + Cassandra

Oh this would be so interesting. Disciplined, serious bulwarks with little time for silly little men—Minthara would share Cassandra’s frustration and lack of amusement with Varric, though Cassandra would consider her suggestions to maim him.

Solas + Halsin + Iron Bull

I see potential here. Iron Bull and Solas already have a dynamic of Iron Bull’s “I have a pretty good idea of who you are, and it’s a liar” toward Solas, while Solas grudgingly respects Iron Bull’s strength and mental acumen in the same way you would respect a very intelligent bear—do not draw attention more than necessary, but stand tall lest it smell fear. Halsin feels like a softer Iron Bull, a mediation between the two. Like Iron Bull, his stature and build belies a thoughtful and sharp mind. Like Solas, he sees everything as connected, feeding into the other as part of a system, and would too feel a sense of loss at magic and mundane being so dramatically split as it is in Thedas—an aberration against what is natural. Also like Iron Bull, he’s frank with his sexuality. I’m certain the two would swap stories over booze. The trio would be arguably the three most mature and experienced in a room in any given situation. Not only that, but Halsin is far more actively in touch with his heart and honest with his feelings than Solas or Iron Bull. The latter two very much care about their loved ones, but with Solas it is under the surface and with Iron Bull it’s mixed up in cultural trappings of romance not being a “thing” in his culture, and thus both struggle with their feelings. Halsin however is very much in touch. There is next to nothing obstructing what his head and heart wants. He listens to his heart and he follows it. Solas and Iron Bull could learn a thing or two from him, tbh

Also I feel like Iron Bull, Halsin, and even Solas have a bit of a brat tamer streak in them so there’s that

Also Astarion would outright reject the notion of drinking Cullen’s blood cuz it smells like battery acid.

[kittydemon9000]

Hrrrrrrrr I know @blursed-ninjago-ideas reverse prompt thing was a while ago, but it took a while to finish mine and I ended up cutting out bits that didn’t work, so here. The prompt was Kai getting akumatized, but HM loosing control so here we go

————————————

Kai didn’t know akumas could be so destructive. None of them did. Or at least, they’d been stopped before they could do any real lasting damage.

“GET DOWN!” Cole shouted, tackling him to the ground. A bright blue laser sailed past where Kai had just been, hitting a car instead.

It crumbled to dust.

From what Kai has gathered, the Akuma was from a young boy who had been bullied for his love of sci-fi, to the point where they’d started beating him up. His Akuma powers were the same as the kid’s favorite character: being able to blast beams of light that disintegrate whatever they touch.

Kai found himself cursing Hawkmoth yet again.

The group had already seen more than ten people get disintegrated, and there were probably many more.

“I have located the targets.” A monotonous voice said behind them. Kai’s blood ran cold.

The group turned around in horror to see true Akuma behind them. He had pale blue skin with a black visor covering the top of his head. He was wearing a deep, black suit with gold accents and a golden cape fluttered behind his. His boots were a similar gold with tiny rockets on the bottom, granting him flight. And his gun…..his gun was pointed right at them.

Before any of them had a chance to react, he fired.

Jay didn’t even have a chance to open his mouth before he crumbled to dust. They barely had a chance to breathe before the Akuma fired two more, at Cole and Zane respectively.

Nya was next, having a second to jump out of the way but the Akuma easily tracked her movements.

“KAI-“ was all Lloyd had time to say before he was gone too.

Kai could barely breathe. Jay, Cole, Zane, Nya, Lloyd…...his family, his siblings…..every single one of them was gone…..turned to dust

He vaguely heard the sound of the Akuma yelling out as Ladybug and Chat Noir chased him away, no doubt to lure him into a trap, or at least away from all the civilians.

The smell of burning surrounded him, he needed to leave, it was so suffocating and he needed to get away.

He was running. Sprinting at full speed, with no destination in mind other than far away from here.

Kai didn’t know how long he ran for. Minutes, maybe hours. All that filled his ears were the echoing sounds of Lloyd’s call and the haunting ringing of his phone.

In his running, Kai tripped on a piece of sidewalk, sending him crashing to the ground.

And that second of pain was enough to bring him back.

His family was gone. Turned to dust before his very eyes. And Kai? Kai was terrified. Kai was angry. Kai was guilty. Kai was filled to the very brim with unwavering, unrelenting grief.

Why did the Akuma decide to shoot him last? Why was it even targeting them? Why wasn’t it going for Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous instead? Why did it have it be them?

Pyrovenge.

Kai’s breath hitched before letting out a dark chuckle. That was a new one. How many Akuma forms did he have now? Four? Five?

In return for avenging the deaths of your family, I want Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous.

That did sound nice……...but no.

Why not?

That kid. It wasn’t his fault. He was just another victim.

And what about Ladybug and Chat Noir! If they had kept him distracted, or shown up earlier, your family would be fine!

Heros can’t be everywhere at once. They’re still human. The fact they step up to beat you-

But then something clicked in Kai’s mind.

Targets.

The Akuma had called them targets.

The anger grew.

Wait! Stop-

Hawkmoth had told the Akuma to target, to murder, his family. Probably to get him akumatized.

“I’m coming for you Hawkmoth, and there is nowhere you can run that I won’t find you.”

The purple blobs enveloped him, Hawkmoth yelling in his mind. But it didn’t matter.

Pyrovenge wouldn’t stop until Hawkmoth was dead.

———————

Ladybug bolted across the rooftops, dodging and jumping over the fires, ice spikes and piles of rocks that blocked her path. This new Akuma was tough. They so far hadn’t gotten anywhere close to him, and only through some live video footage did they learn their name was Pyrovenge. But, despite the name, they seemed to be able to do more than just make fire.

They also seemed to hate Hawkmoth, which could be used to her advantage.

“COME OUT YOU COWARD!” A deafening and furious voice echoed, followed by a loud explosion. Up ahead, Ladybug saw what looked like a fire tornado appear for a second before dissipating.

“Pyrovenge!” Ladybug yelled out as she reached the end of the building.

The Akuma was wearing a bodysuit that started at black by the feet but slowly transitioned into red as it went up. He had fingerless black gloves with a molten rock pattern runnin up his arms and stopping at the elbow. On his left shoulder was something that resembled a grey archery chest guard while on the right was a brown and gold shoulder guard that went down the length of his arm. A blue sash was wrapped around his waist with a few colorful buttons pinned on. It looked as though someone had taken clothes and accessories from six different closets and thrown them together. Ladybug’s inner designer cringed. It wasn’t even horrible, all the accessories by themselves would’ve looked great, but together it was just too random and all over the place.

Their skin was a burnt brown color with a black domino mask covering their eyes. The Akuma also wore a sort of head band, but instead of hair there was a roaring fire. His eyes were blazing red and filled with rage.

“What do you want!?!” He yelled, temporarily stopping his war path. The block of street they were on was almost completely destroyed, fires roaring on all sides. But luckily, Ladybug didn’t see any civilians.

“You need to stop. You’ll destroy all of Paris!” Ladybug pleaded.

“So what?” He spat. “You can just cast the cure to fix everything.”

“That doesn’t mean that damage hasn’t been done! Think of the people who might get hurt!”

Think of the people who could die went unsaid.

“That’s what I'm counting on.” Pyrovenge snarled.

“Well, we’d be pretty lousy heros if we let you.” Chat Noir quipped as he landed. He winked at Ladybug. “So it took so long, Milady. I got a little held up.”

Pyrovenge growled. “I won’t let you, or anyone, get in the way of my revenge. Hawkmoth killed my family. I won’t let that deed go unpunished.”

The sash around his waist started glowing a cyan blue and suddenly the flames atop his head went out, replaced by a slowly growing mass of water. The harsh reds of this clothes were replaced with a vibrant cyan blue.

He held his hands out and lifted them, and suddenly water erupted from the nearby fire hydrants and shot toward the heros.

The pair jumped out of the way, but the water curved around and shot toward them again. The heros just barely jumped out of the way again, dodging for a few more seconds before Pyrovenge let out an angry growl.

The floating water suddenly dropped to the ground with a splash, spraying outwards.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug cried out. From the magical ladybugs, a piece of paper began to fall. Before it could be snatched away, she jumped up and grabbed it.

“I don’t have time to deal with you!” He shouted.

Then, the buttons started glowing a darker blue and electric sparks exploded from his head. The cyan of his outfit was replaced by a dark blue, similar to the color of the electricity.

With speed like lightning, he darted away.

“Oh no you don’t.” Chat Noir said, sprinting after him, but he was quickly yanked back by Ladybug grabbing his tail.

“Meowch, Milady. What was that for?”

But Ladybug was looking with a slightly horrified expression at the Lucky Charm. For once, it wasn’t just bright red with block spots. There was a window of color.

“What is it?” Chat walked over and peered over her shoulder, but felt his breath stutter.

Chat recognized it, or rather, Adrien recognized it. It had been taken mere days before at the park.

In it was Lloyd, Zane, Jay, Cole, Nya and Kai. Only everyone but Kai’s eyes were scratched out.

“He doesn’t know the Cure brings people back.” Ladybug whispered.

“He doesn’t know the Cure brings people back!” She said again, this time much louder.

“Well, at least we know how to get him to calm down.” Chat commented.

————————

Pyrovenge let out a small snarl. Hawkmoth was back to trying to get him under his thumb.

“You’re just delaying the inevitable.” He said aloud. “If you just come out, it’ll be over quick.”

That was a lie and they both knew it. Pyrovenge would do anything to make sure his death was as slow and painful as possible.

“Pyrovenge!”

He let out an angry sigh.

“For the last time, I don’t want to deal with you!” he yelled. He glowed red and the fires atop his head grew.

“We just want to show you something.” The bug said.

“Nothing you say or do will make me stop. Hawkmoth. Needs. To. DIE.”

“Maybe nothing they say will.”

Pyrovenge stopped. No. No it was impossible. They were….they were dead.

“But maybe we can.”

But they weren’t. Standing before him were his family, each of them without a scratch or bruise. Looking just like they had before they were….

“Kai, please. Stop this. You don’t need to get revenge. We’re all okay.” Lloyd said.

“.....Lloyd?” Kai Pyrovenge whispered. The gloves started glowing and the earth keeping him high above the ground slowly started retreating back into the ground. Once he touched the ground, their glow faded and the reds and fire was back.

“Is it really you?” He whispered, his eyes pleading, desperately hoping it was true.

“Yes! Now please Kai, stop all this!” Lloyd pleaded. Pyrovenge took a few steps to him, hesitant and afraid.

With every step he took, the ninja grew tense. They trusted Kai to never hurt them. He’d probably die before he allowed that to happen….. But he wasn’t exactly Kai right now.

Once he was within a foot of Lloyd, he stopped. The flames shrunk until they were barely embers and he placed a hesitant hand on Lloyd's shoulder. His eyes widened at the contact, almost like he was expecting Lloyd to disappear under his touch.

He suddenly pulled Lloyd into a tight hug, tears escaping from his eyes.

“It really is you.”

[theprotagonistdies]

Mortal Kombat 2021 Movie Review (w spoilers)

Just wanted to get this off my chest now that the movie’s been released in America. I watched this on 8th April when it was first released in Singapore, and two more times the following week.

So, overall I give the movie about a 6.5-7/10 or C+. Acting: Decent Story: Average at best Action: Above average to Good Gore: Graphic but not as often or much Best highlights: Joe Taslim as Sub-Zero, Hiroyuki Sanada as Scorpion, Costuming

I’ll be referencing some comments by others about the movie, but this’ll all be my opinions. I reviewed the movie based on my understanding that it’s a low budget film before even watching the movie. I am also a fan of the game (though I do not play, I watched most of the lore)

-------

When I first watched the movie, I was excited. The intro showing Hanzo Hasashi’s backstory would be something familiar to fans of the game. As expected, his wife and child were killed, but as we know it, they have an extra baby girl who later survives and carries on the bloodline. At this point, I was already ‘eh’ because it was so predictable what happens next. I was already disappointed that they named the son ‘Jyubei’ in the subtitles, when the wife didn’t even utter his name in Japanese. In the game, Hanzo’s son is called Satoshi. But one can say that’s something petty.

Anyways, as it goes on, we meet Joe Taslim as Bi-Han. He’s menacing, he’s cocky and has the presence that fills the screen. Already, I was smitten. While some people were saying the movie is rushed, I’d say this part of the intro felt a little draggy. But, the fight scene after is great, and we see Hanzo and Bi-Han throw hands.

I’d have to say at this point: ALL fight scenes including  Bi-Han/Sub-Zero were great. They’re the best. Every other fight scene with the other characters were decent but not great.

Then we get introduced to Cole Young. From the get go, I do not like new characters not in the lore. I’m that type of person who does not like original characters in fanfiction. And his story further made me feel that a lot of time was wasted on him. Mortal Kombat has story elements around family, yes, but it’s not central, and it made the movie too wholesome and not in a way that I feel implemented well. In my opinion, it made the movie a little cringey at times. I like Lewis Tan who plays Cole but unfortunately he’s been given a role that was completely unnecessary.

A Youtube reviewer said it best: Why make up an entirely new character when there’s a plethora of characters to choose from? Heck, if you want him related to Hanzo, you could have used Takeda or something (though yes i know he’s not related to Hanzo, but he could be like a distant cousin relative whatever, with Takehashi on one of this other parents side).

There’s Jax and Sonya - why not just use Sonya? She’s the one gathering all the information. They could have used her. 

Anyway, moving on. We also meet Kano. He was good and I see a lot of people loved him. Personally I thought he was okay, but he was too comedic in my opinion and felt underwhelming. While funny quips and mockery are appreciated, he felt like what Liu Kang called him: A small, angry little bunny. Not at all what I’d expect of the leader of Black Dragon. 

There was... it that supposed to be Reptile? I honestly do not know, but I don’t believe that’s the Reptile we know from the game, and more of a mindless monster that has Reptile’s abilities.

I loved Sonya in this movie. Jessica McNamee was amazing as her. One - she’s attractive as hell, and Two - she felt far more relatable than Cole Young. From her being a soldier living in her ‘shithole’, to her curiosity in trying to find out more about the Mortal Kombat tournament.

They look for Raiden’s Temple in the desert. This was a little slow and again, I say Kano just felt like a chump here. A try-hard doing his best to appear intimidating but failing.

Liu Kang appears. Kano won’t shut up. Liu Kang’s introduction was interesting and I liked it, but later on his monologues and exaggerated actions were so odd and ‘extra’ to me that I was cringing. I don’t know why they don’t just make him a normal guy who’s a Shaolin monk lol.

Raiden is as cranky as we know him in the game. He’s kinda dull here, but to be honest, so is he in the game, so I don’t mind it. I saw someone compare him to the 1995 version which while I enjoyed and appreciated, did not think he suited the game and movie. So Tadanobu Asano’s Raiden is fine to me! Also, shut up to the people who get on others’ case on the way they pronounce Raiden. In Japanese it’s Rai-den, not Ray-den, like they say in the game. Both are correct, so shut up.

Sub-Zero makes an entrance again, menacingly running down the hall and making me sploosh, and Kung Lao also makes an entrance. Here you can see how poor the CG is. This is where you can tell the budget is low and realise that all the sets we’ve seen so far is pretty small and closed.

The ‘arcana’ thing that they made up to explain their powers was honestly pretty smart and I quite liked it. It then becomes a training arc, which while understandably can be seen as slow, it’s quite needed for the story.

The villains in this story were sadly underutilised. Admittedly I am unfamiliar with Nitara and Reiko, so them being throwaway characters did not affect me. Kabal, while very charismatic, died but I felt it was a decent end. I personally wish they could have included him more. However, for Mileena and Goro, I could see the moment I watched it that people were gonna be mad. I’m not fans of either of them but I understood that they are major characters in the game. So for them to be offed that easily was... tbh very disappointing and quite insulting. I sincerely hope they will bring back Mileena for the next movie, experimented on and brought to life using Kitana’s blood or something.

But best villain? Obviously goes to Bi-Han/Sub-Zero. Honestly I went into the movie expecting to root for Scorpion but I ended up being so in love with Joe Taslim’s menacing and chilling portrayal of Sub-Zero. He’s soooo good. People said he was like a slasher film villain and I think they made a great choice doing so!

As for Cole - I’m still not a fan of him or his powers. I like they used tonfas, but as some called it - he has literally plot armour which, tru. Hahahhaa.

So finally after all that, we finally get to the last fight.

Sub-Zero is about to kill Cole then Scorpion is summoned. They both fight and actually one can see Scorpion is winning? He got more hits in than Sub-Zero (two stabs, a side slash and a throw from Scorp, meanwhile Sub got one slash and a throw) so I don’t understand why people thought he actually needed help from Cole.

Also, this is another major complaint about the ‘wholesomeness’. Why was Hanzo’s family killed but Cole’s family spared by Sub-Zero? Why couldn’t they just killed them off for extra weight to the story instead of making it so safe? I felt that would have redeemed Cole’s character as more of  Mortal Kombat character if they did so.

But I really enjoyed the fight here. As I mentioned all fights that involved Sub-Zero are amazing and people not giving the credit to this fight scene are blind. I also saw a comment that said they were expecting ‘John-Wick level’ of fight. Both fair and unfair comment because: It’s a low budget movie and they are two different styles of movies. John Wick is more realistic while this one is more fantastical. Though for them to call this a Marvel level choreography... I’m not sure bc Marvel put a lot of money, so that means for their budget the MK movie did well? So IDK but I believe the fight choreography was good in this most especially in the Sub-Zero/Scorpion fights.

Fatalities were great, costuming were great and for the sets while small and enclosed they did good.

Story could have been better and I cannot stress how much I find Cole’s role completely pointless. Pacing wise I actually do not find a problem with it. I only wished for more fighting and less about ‘family’.

From the movie overall I understood it as to be a set up, and even before watching it, from the trailers, I somehow knew it was not going to have a tournament so I don’t know why all these people in comments are lamenting about the lack of a tournament. It feels clear to me that this is a set up movie and more are to come.

So while I have a lot of issues with this movie, I do think it’s a fun watch which is why I give it a pretty generous score imo.

Hopefully we’ll have more to come, improving everything in all aspects with hopefully a bigger budget!

[tartrazeen]

Hank's Arc through HankCon

If the magazines in this game are supposed to be symbolic, then holy shit, does it say something that the first magazine we see in a scene for Hank and Connor is that one for the Eden Club ("Sex with androids is awesome possum, gentlemen"), followed by the second article on 'Is your android spying on you?'

It's a canon fact that androids are hot. That little quip from Ben going, "So, you got yourself an android, huh?" gets us that, "Haha, very funny," line from Hank, which goes noticeably unexplained. There was a great Hankcon theory from igamrgirlzunite explaining this, as well as for that magazine in Hank's room at his own house, and it builds into the famous exchange at the Bridge with Hank asking what Connor really is.

For this magazine though, it's neat to see it symbolize a surface attraction - from Hank to Connor, playing neatly into that does-not-need-explaining-apparently joke from Ben - followed by a deep mistrust for anything Connor says.

This scene can open with Hank feeling neutral because Connor bought him a drink, or pissed that Connor's an asshole. It can also have Hank annoyed at Connor for insisting on coming along because his instructions say to, yet still getting a little boost in their relationship from it. Tying those two articles of the magazine together, we've got a guy who thinks that no matter what Connor's like on the surface, underneath he's a machine designed to fool Hank into being friends (which Hank throws at him in the Machine!Connor path). It's all a ruse to manipulate Hank into lowering his guard, and this first magazine is telling us how Hank feels about that: he ain't havin' it, and it'd be better if Connor just admits that that's what's happening.

If Connor apologizes at the Chicken Feed, Hank comments on it being a brown-nosing program. Later, Hank says Connor's got a goofy voice and weird face. But he's not a guy who's shy about being harsh or blunt ("Well they fucked up" is literally his next line), so for him to pick 'goofy' over 'ugly' or something implies a certain fondness for what he's seeing, coupled with an extreme aversion to being tricked into liking it - so, the canon lets Hank bury it under being a dick.

The magazine at Hank's house later says androids make for better romantic partners (which is what CyberLife specifically intends for the 'other North' - that BL model), but gets followed by the deeper layer/article on androids' active psychology programs.

It's a more elaborate take on the first magazine's symbolism: instead of just being a boytoy, Hank should have a better sense of who Connor in terms of a partner, and would be wondering why in hell Connor takes so much of an interest in him. He's moved on from thinking Connor's spying to learn which details can buy Hank's cooperation, because he's already asked Connor about that at the Chicken Feed. The question isn't *if* Connor was reading up on him - that's assumed. Hank's asking what Connor *thinks* of all of it, what he wants that information for. Just work? Maybe... not all for work?

Even if Connor puts Hank at ease, it only crosses off one of the theories Hank has. This second magazine now has him toying with whether Connor's pitying him for being some broken mess of a man, and planning to go when the mission's done and neatly tying in with Hank's outburst in the bathtub ("You and your fucking mission, that's all you care about").

Worse in Hank's opinion, and *as* a broken mess of a man, he might only be thinking Connor feels pity - or interest - because he can't tell what's sincere and what's just a psychological program any more. That draws on the two conclusions Connor could make to boost their relationship last chapter, but now we see Hank flipping in how he feels about being right: he's much less of a fan, and the personal questions at the Bridge start to *hit* their relationship as those thoughts dig in.

It puts Hank's reaction to the Tracis in better context. Connor shooting them confirms he's a machine accomplishing a mission. Connor sparing them freaks Hank right the fuck out, because holy shit, what if Connor *can* feel and might *actually* like Hank but fuck you, Connor, because if you could really feel, you'd panic when Hank puts a gun in your face, haha Professor Drunk strikes again.

That gun on the Bridge scene is like a precursor to the fucked up Kamski test that's coming. Hank's trying to figure out if all those thoughts he's had and hints he thinks Connor's been laying down are real or from a machine functioning according to plan. That's why it's great that Connor's wink back at the Chicken Feed blends in with Connor getting a report: did Hank really see it, or was he misinterpreting a machine's response to a new message?

When we get to the actual Kamski test offering 'proof' on whether Connor's a machine or not, Hank has backed off on wanting to know for sure. Not knowing leaves room for hope. Hope is safe, and hope comes with plausible deniability. Hope doesn't hurt. Because of Cole, we see how well Hank does with trying to come to grips with a painful reality. When the test is on, he's telling Connor not to do it, but we know he can yank the guy away from there. He doesn't. Because hope is also kinda tempting. The right answer might be waiting - he knows this whole thing is awful, he doesn't want that girl to get shot, but between that test's before and after, we see he's shifted from, "Don't play this stupid game, it doesn't matter, we don't care," to "Don't. Don't shoot. Decide your own fate and show me that you're real."

With how it goes, Hank can either take that as a fucking *rough* confirmation of exactly what he was afraid of (the "I thought you were..." line that trails off) or a pretty hopeful hint that... actually kinda sinks in for once. Hank lowers his guard. It's not a concrete confirmation of anything, obviously, but... it mattered. It's nice.

So that is why, upon meeting the Deviant Leader, Connor choosing to remain a machine is a HARD FUCKING BETRAYAL. Despite everything - despite how careful Hank was, how sure he was, how safe it seemed to try and trust Connor a little - Hank had been right from the start. And there's no coming back from that. Same with being such a dick to Hank that he quits anyway. It's not that Connor's alive but that Hank's alone, and he's too lost in it to care about anything else. He gives in to that darkness.

If instead you make it to CyberLife Tower, you've got the real and final test. It's not about whether Connor's alive or not. Hank knows he is, based on - or even despite of - everything that's happened so far. There's even room to argue that 'alive' isn't that important to Hank, either. He's interested in these androids' freedom, literally and conceptually, so this is about whether Connor freely feels something for Hank. Aliive or not, it doesn't mean it couldn't have all still just been to spy and out of psychological pity.

It's why it matters that Hank's asking questions. Even if you get one right, he just asks another. He knows Connor knows this stuff - does Connor *care*? Was there an inherent, personal interest in learning about things that weren't all just about work? Those personal questions that Hank found so annoying before, back when it could've been manipulation and programming - was that what it was, or was Connor genuinely asking? Was Hank right or wrong?

Connor would've had to put Hank above the revolution to get to this point, refusing to risk him even at the cost of losing these hundreds of thousands of androids they need. It means something. It clicks when Connor puts enough emotion into his 'final answer' for Hank to understand that no matter what it was before, it's real now. It had probably been real for a while.

It's also why 60's parting shot if Hank messes up ("Wrong choice, Lieutenant") cuts deeper in that moment than 60's victory quip when it's Connor choosing wrong ("He really liked you, Lieutenant. That's what killed him"). Both hammer home what Hank has lost, both pin it on Hank himself, but with Connor's memories, 60 can confirm that Hank just failed his own mission: he never learned to trust in what they could've had, and now because of him, they'll never have it.

Unless they do. And then they hug. :)

--

--

Edit: P.S - I lied, yes it fucking does get explained.

More Edit: sweet I found a Tumblr gif of that line

[marjanefan]

‘Dead Line’ and ghosts in the machine

This review will contain extensive spoilers for the episode (and A Quiet Night In) so only continue if you have watched the episode. It also contains spoilers for ‘The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse’

Along with ‘The Twelve days of Christine’ ‘Deadline’ is one of the most discussed and analysed episodes of ‘Inside no.9’ with numerous vlogs and blogs dedicated to it. There are even several affectionate pastiches on Youtube. There is much in the episode that is worth discussing so I hope I can bring something interesting to analysing this astonishing episode.

I will be referring to both Stuart Hardy’s (Stubagful) and Inside an Mind’s vlogs about this episode so and the Q and A with Barbara Wiltshire (who directed the episode), Adam Tandy, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith at the BFI in April 2019 here are links to.

Stubagful’s review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrlU9jaMP2k

Inside a Mind Analysis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUN6zqCHh18&t=58s

BFI event

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4RgjPJKNkI

Both Stuart Hardy and Inside a Mind explore the importance of experiencing this episode as a live experience on October 28th 2018 (the date of broadcast). As someone who did watch it live all the way through on broadcast I can confirm that it was a very rewarding experience to watch live that could never be replicated. There has also been considerable analysis of how Pemberton and Shearsmith utilised the process of pre broadcast publicity (such as their interview on the One show a few days before broadcast) to set up the misdirection and theme of the episode. However this is an episode that stands up to repeated viewings (as does every episode of Inside No. 9). The episode can be enjoyed as a ghost story with a very modern sensibility and as a meta commentary on the nature of television. There is an underlying message that allows this episode to retain its power.

The very title of ‘Dead line’ hints at obsolesce and broken down technology and communication. Under the surface of both the Arthur Flitwick storyline and the actual story of the episode we see the voices of the dead come back to avenge themselves on the living who have failed to respect them. You ignore them at your peril. /p>

The ostensible story of ‘Deadline’ -Arthur Flitwick’s fateful finding of a mobile phone is worth looking at in more depth. The story is run through with references to aging and mortality. Arthur lives alone in what may be either a retirement community or sheltered housing for older people. The classical music radio station he listens to aims its adverts at older people. We see Arthur get annoyed at a radio advert for a will writing service yelling ‘We’re not all one foot in the grave!’ (possibly a reference to the long running BBC TV series). Moira refers to the fact that Elsie and herself are apparently widows. It is worth noting that Stephanie Cole who plays Moira is well known for playing Diana Trent in the long running comedy series ‘Waiting for God’ which was set in a retirement home. Arthur and Moira are dealing with the fact that they are nearing the end of their lives and the particular forms of loneliness that affect the elderly. Arthur’s eventual breakdown and murder of Rev. Neil reflects his anxiety about the intentions of younger people toward him and his generation and his isolation(it says something that he choses to befriend a ‘ghost’). This also links this plotline to the main plotline as like Arthur, Alan Starr believed he was hearing the voices of the dead. This eventually drove him to suicide.

Rev. Neil is dealing with an ever aging and dwindling congregation. The physical disrepair of his church (referred in the second clip from the Arthur Flitwick story) symbolises this decline. (Is this also a comment on the decline of the influence of organised religion?) He makes a quip about his church always being on the lookout for ‘new blood’ which can be read as being about the graveyard where Elsie is buried. This links back to the main storyline of the episode being filmed in Granada studios which is apparently built on the site of a Victorian cemetery. (The ghosts recruit the ‘new blood’ of the unnamed continuity announcer, Stephanie Cole, Steve and Reece to their ranks).

One of the most interesting things for me about the ‘Arthur Flitwick’ section is the fact that the mobile phone Arthur finds is an old style Nokia phone. This type of mobile phone has been out of fashion for several years being overtaken by smart phones. This type of phone cannot be used to access the internet or online services such as TV streaming services. It could be a nod to a time where there were no streaming/catch up TV services and where social media was not prevalent. Television was experienced very differently and as Stuart Hardy noted in his review was more of a collective experience. ‘Dead line’ is almost a comment on what has been lost for audiences and those who work in television in the age of television on demand. The pleasure of watching a programme along with millions of others and being able to share simultaneous reactions (and not spoil the programme for others!) has been more or less lost.

The first reaction of Reece and Steve to the apparent break down of the show is to reach for their smart phones to try and find out what is going on. We see Reece moan he cannot connect to his smart phone via WIFI until Steve shows him the password (there is a joke about Stephanie Cole being able to connect to WIFI while Reece cannot). Steve uses his phone to research the history of Granada studios for clues as to what is happening. Reece uses his phone to check the reaction on Twitter, getting angry at people asking if ‘the breakdown’ is part of the twist (playing on his twitter persona). It is no accident that later in the episode Steve is so engrossed with his phone that he both fails to notice Stephanie kill herself on camera or ‘Alan’ advancing toward him in the mirror, commenting on the fact that people have become so engrossed at looking at their smart phones they ignore what is actually happening in front of them.

Steve gets Reece to post a tweet asking people if they are live on BBC Two at that moment. This tweet both proved that events were happening live and comments on the way that social media has changed how audiences interact with television shows and those involved with them. For better or worse platforms like Twitter has changed this permanently. Both Stuart Hardy (Stubagful) and Jamie (Inside a mind) discuss the importance of the Twitter reaction to the show in helping build the experience for the audience during broadcast. Steve Pemberton continued this, posting a photo of himself on Halloween itself looking none the worse for his adventure bar an apparently injured arm (from apparently being electrocuted duing the show)- however a 'ghost' seemed to still be following him! (he also joked if ghosts were going to take over the episode of 'The Apprentice' that was due to be broadcast that night)

https://twitter.com/SP1nightonly/status/1057690095996858368

Many people have discussed the influence of the 1992 drama ‘Ghostwatch’ on ‘Dead Line’. Pemberton and Shearsmith acknowledged its influence at the BFI screening of the episode. Ghostwatch was itself intended by its writer Stephen Volk as a commentary on the direction of television at the time, with the growth of docusoaps and reality TV, and how audiences perceived what was presented to them on TV. It made use of the methods of viewer interactivity of the day with its live broadcast/phone in format. There was a dedicated telephone line for viewers to call into (they were supposed to get a message that ‘Ghostwatch’ was a drama). This is echoed in ‘Dead line’s use of social media. ‘Ghostwatch’ itself references the past as it was in part inspired by the story of the Enfield Poltergeist and its coverage. Television programmes referencing back and paying tribute to earlier programmes is nothing new. It helps to build continuity and tradition in what is still a relatively new format, and helps to show that television can produce work that is lasting and worthwhile. Indeed ‘Dead Line’ helped to create interest for a new generation in ‘Ghost watch’.

Pemberton and Shearsmith decided to set ‘Dead line’ in Granada studios after researching alleged hauntings of the studio. This is referenced in the ‘Most Haunted’ episode that ‘Dead line’ includes clips from. Pemberton mentioned at the BFI that it was this episode that inspired the plot involving ‘Alan Starr’, the technician who killed himself after been haunted by the voices of the ghosts of Granada studios. The original plan had been to film the episode at Granada Studios itself but at the last minute this was not possible, so it was filmed at Maidstone Studios instead. The archive material included in the show is not just furthers the story of the apparent haunting but refers back to the studio’s important status in UK television. Granada Studios had been closed for a number of years before the filming of the episode. Even if it is not actually physically haunted, it is now a dead space which carries the memories of the programmes that were filmed there and the people who worked on them. The television industry may have physically moved on, but the programmes made there remain. I wonder if this was part of the appeal for Pemberton and Shearsmith in setting ‘Dead line’ there.

It was also not the first time that Pemberton and Shearsmith had used meta commentary or included themselves as characters in their own stories. They had of course both played themselves (or versions of themselves!) in ‘The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse’ film. At least one podcast noted this and how the ‘Reece’ and ‘Steve’ we see in ‘Dead line’ are similar to the ‘Reece’ and ‘Steve’ of the film. They have great fun in playing themselves as arrogant and self-centred. This is in part self-mocking and self-depreciating but also shows an awareness that in order to be successful in the entertainment industry you do require a certain level of self-confidence and self-centredness to get your vision realised. ‘The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse’ was an attempt by the various members of the League to explore the legacy of the League and what it meant to be the creators of this very specific world and characters at a point where they were beginning to develop their own separate careers away from the League. ‘Reece’ and ‘Steve’ die in ‘The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse’ as they do in ‘Dead Line’. This represents them acknowledging that the work and characters they have created have a life beyond them and that they will outlive them. The use of ‘A quiet night in’ in the episode also comments on how creators can recontextualise their work to give it a very different meaning. Indeed some fans of the show joke that they cannot watch ‘A quiet night in’ the same way since watching ‘Dead Line’.

As mentioned at the beginning, the episode has much to offer those who have not yet seen it beyond it being a ‘live’. It certainly got a great deal of publicity for the show with several UK newspapers discussing and praising the episode and complementing Pemberton and Shearsmith for how they pulled off the twist. Inside a Mind's analysis of the episode has had over three million views. WeeLin in her Youtube analysis suggests showing the episode to someone who has not seen it each Halloween. Reece Shearsmith still gets regularly asked on Twitter if the BBC has ‘fixed’ the apparent technical faults or if they plan to try and do the episode live again. There are still people who started watching the episode on October 28 2018 or who began watching on iplayer who stopped watching after ‘the breakdown’ who are discovering or yet to discover that they need to continue to watch beyond the ‘breakdown’ at nine minutes. People are also still discovering this episode. Steve Pemberton discusses how this is part of the narrative of the episode in the Q and A after the BFI screening. The number of affectionate homages to the episode that appeared on Youtube in the months after broadcast testify to the fact the episode has a very distinct feel and structure that makes it stand out. It has become one of the most acclaimed and beloved epsiodes of the series

[officialotakudome]

New Post has been published on Otaku Dome | The Latest News In Anime, Manga, Gaming, Tech, and Geek Culture

New Post has been published on https://otakudome.com/mortal-kombat-2021-review/

Mortal Kombat (2021) Review

Mortal Kombat is back in live-action with the beginning of a planned franchise of films. Following a slightly altered storyline to the lore new character Cole Young is a descendant of legendary warrior Hanzo Hasashi. Upon coming into contact with an old clan enemy he is forced into the Mortal Kombat tournament with the Earth and his family at stake.

 Mortal Kombat is a 2021 video game film, it is produced by New Line Cinema and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. It is in theaters now and HBO Max until May 23.

Editor’s Note: Near complete to complete spoilers for Mortal Kombat and potential spoilers for the source material may be present in this review.

Mortal Kombat pays respect to it’s deep lore.

Video game movies are making a wild comeback and the latest among them is Mortal Kombat. While the film follows most of the plot of the video game it also inserts additional lore and characters. On the surface this isn’t too much of a problem in of itself. However it more often than not feels like the film chickens out of said originality midway through. 

Historic characters take a backseat to new ones.

THE GOOD: Mortal Kombat opens with the historic war between Scorpion & Sub-Zero’s families in 1400s Japan. Sub-Zero kills Hanzo Hasashi’s wife and son leading to a battle in which the former wins. As Hanzo dies Raiden retrieves his surviving child in an effort to preserve the Hasashi bloodline for the future of Earth realm. The film then cuts to Cole Young, a family man and former MMA World Champion. Now he’s fighting in smaller independent circuits where he routinely loses. After his latest fight Jax introduces himself to Cole questioning his decision to fight in underground MMA scenes. While out with his family Cole is attacked by a very much alive Sub-Zero. Who has become much stronger since we last saw him. 

Jax saves Cole and his wife & daughter and informs him of the truth of the Dragon imagery on his chest. He allows Cole and his family to escape while telling them to find Sonya Blade who has more details. As Cole & his family leave Jax fights Sub-Zero, but is easily beaten to near death with his arms severed. Cole sends his family off to a cabin as he meets Sonya. Sonya who has captured Kano (a black market criminal for hire) reveals to Cole that the symbol is an invitation to Mortal Kombat a deadly tournament with worlds at stake. She also states that Kano earned his invitation by luck killing the previous invitee. The three are attacked by Syzoth, but Kano kills him with Cole and Sonya’s help.

The trio travel to Raiden’s temple where Liu Kang awaits. He explains that the Mortal Kombat is an ancient tournament where control over worlds were put on the line. With each world having a team of Champions defending them. He introduces them to Kung Lao who like Liu is also an Earth realm Champion. Liu Kang tells the others that they need to train to unlock their unique power which will aide Earth realm. Sonya and Cole are reunited with Jax who’s healing from his injuries. During dinner a hostile Kano unlocks his power after being egged on by Kung Lao. 

Raiden expresses doubt for the Champions being successful and Cole who’s worried for his family gets sent home. Returning to the cabin his family was held up in he’s suddenly attacked by Goro one of Outrealm’s Champions. Meanwhile, Shang Tsung the leader of Outrealm arrives at Raiden’s temple with several of his Champions. Including Sub-Zero, Milenna, Nitara, Reiko, and Kabal. Kano betrays Earth realm joining Outrealm and fights Sonya. She & Jax unlock their powers during battle with the former defeating Kano. Kung Lao kills Nitara with his hidden blade hat and Cole after unlocking his power kills Goro returning to the temple. Raiden reveals that Cole is a descendant of the Hasashi family angering Tsung & Sub-Zero. 

Kung Lao sacrifices himself to save Cole as Raiden teleports Earth’s Champions to a safe zone. Cole suggests a plan in which Outrealm and Earth have a pre-tournament. Outrealm’s Champions are killed and Cole & Sub-Zero face each other at the MMA gym which Sub-Zero has incased in frost including his kidnapped family. Cole’s blood resurrects Hasashi who now goes by the moniker of Scorpion & they work together to defeat and kill Sub-Zero. Scorpion leaves telling Cole to keep their bloodline safe. Shang Tsung vows revenge taking the corpses of his warriors back to Outrealm. Raiden states that he is gathering more Champions for Earth and tasks Cole with finding Hollywood actor Johnny Cage. 

Josh Lawson’s Kano is a scene stealer & it’s one of the film’s biggest issues.

The action of Mortal Kombat is some of the coolest you’ll see this. I may be reaching a bit, but there were times when the normal hand-to-hand combat reminded me of some of the fights in films like The Raid. I didn’t mind Cole’s character it made sense for the movie’s direction. Cole being an MMA expert was a nice modern touch up for the martial arts aspect of the franchise. The special effects were excellently done too. You know how these lower budgeted type of films tend to have CGI that looks noticeably like CGI (aka bad)? Even at a budget of $50 Million, of which I can only imagine went to the CG I never really saw any of it that just looked awful or wonky. Except for maybe a single instance with Syzoth. It’d have been easier to just use a humanoid ninja version of Syzoth honestly. 

The story is fine, I like the idea of the unique powers having a backstory instead of just existing. That’s a neat layer that adds some sense into the world. Granted, it’s not necessary to do so, but the fact that they did it is kind of appreciated. And yes Kano ruled in this movie. His quips and jokes were almost always on. I do feel bad for most of the cast who felt like they were playing catch up with Lawson’s energy. I also have to commend the writers for going out of their way to feature Scorpion & Sub-Zero’s backstories. They were spread across several games and it was done fairly well here for a two hour film. 

All the Mortal Kombat gore you can handle and then some.

THE BAD: Mortal Kombat some some good ideas, but it seems the movie loses confidence in itself quit a bit. For example, I mentioned earlier that I like Cole in the sense that him existing doesn’t bother me. However, Cole’s character direction kind of falls flat. Like him being there is cool, but there’s literally no reason why his role couldn’t have been given to Scorpion or Johnny Cage like in the original film. The former probably would have made for a much better movie honestly. Lawson as mentioned is awesome here, but it gets to the point where he completely outclasses the rest of the cast. And it really makes them look bad and dry. I also feel I have to say this respectfully as a fan of the source. I don’t like the idea of turning Liu Kang and Kung Lao who are arguably the main characters of the first handful of the games background characters. They could have given Jax’s role of informing Cole about the legend of Mortal Kombat to Liu, and they oddly do in the second act. It was also weird for the film to be called Mortal Kombat, but not feature the actual tournament. They do some makeshift pseudo-tournament. 

Mortal Kombat is a decent video game movie that still has time to be a great one.

OBERALL THOUGHTS: While on the surface Mortal Kombat is probably what you’d expect from most video game films there is a lot to like about it. It follows the story closely enough even with the original direction effecting it. The action, fighting, and special effects are strong and well done. Unfortunately, the film suffers from unbalanced character direction and the impact said original story has on the future of this reboot’s franchise intentions. If the issues can be looked on in earnest I think Mortal Kombat has a genuine shot of being a good video game movie franchise. And I say that, because we’re undoubtedly getting at least one sequel. Otaku Dome gives Mortal Kombat a 70 out of 100.

[thisyearingaming]

2011 - This Year in Gaming

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective - Nintendo DS, January 11th

A quirky adventure game where you are fucking dead, and you gotta work out who killed you. Ghost Trick is like Ace Attorney at first glance - it looks similar, and is made by effectively the same development team. Give it a shot on iOS.

Dead Space 2 - Multiplatform, January 25th 

Dead Space 2 was the undisputed king of alien horror until Alien: Isolation released. Yeah, you battle massive acid-spitting aliens, but it’s the necromorph babies you’re gonna be shit-scared of. It isn’t quite as unique as it’s predecessor, but it’s definitely much better to play. Bring your brown pants.

The Nintendo 3DS Releases - March 27th

The 3DS was like magic when you first fired the 3D slider all the way up - then it became a gimmick you never used again. Releasing with a few decent launch titles and being able to boast Street Fighter IV as playable, the 3DS arguably didn’t really pick up much steam until a few months after launch. While more powerful than the original DS which was six years old at the time, I can’t remember being particularly interested in it at the time.

Portal 2 - Multiplatform, April 19th 

Valve’s final single player experience until their jump into VR was a bloody good one - very funny and amusingly written with the best Steve Merchant performance since The Ricky Gervais Show, Portal 2′s puzzle solving adventure is rarely a chore to play through, and has thousands of custom maps courtesy of the Steam community.

L.A. Noire - Multiplatform, May 17th

Rockstar’s foray into adventure games has stood the test of time as an enjoyable and often startling journey nto the seedy underbelly of 1947 Los Angeles - as Cole Phelps you’ll threaten a Jewish man with the gas chamber, arrest a paedophile instead of a clearly guilty father, quote Hamlet to a prop skull at the scene of a car crash, destroy thousands of dollars of property, and yell at a child whose mother’s just been murdered. Great fun!

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Windows 

CDPR hit it out of the park with a fantastically improved sequel to 2007′s Eurojank diamond in the rough The Witcher, and really introduce Geralt of Rivia to more people for the first time with this game. A branching story that sees Geralt hunting Letho, the killer of King Foltest, and allying either with smelly hippy elven leader Iorveth and his terrorists who don’t appear in the sequel or the very cool but quite racist Vernon Roche and his special forces group, who are supporting characters in the sequel.

Alice: Madness Returns - Multiplatform, June 14th

A surprisingly charming, unsettling dive into the fractured psyche of the Victorian equivalent of an actual goth gf, Alice is a sequel to American McGee’s Alice from 2000. Surreal as fuck and absolutely drowning in atmosphere. Just don’t look at any of the YouTube comments on videos of the soundtrack. Rather bizarre show...

Duke Nukem Forever - Multiplatform, June 14th

Sometimes it’s best NOT to bet on the Duke. I bought this game to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I did neither - DNF is fucking boring, and I blame it ALL on Randy Pitchford’s devotion to ruining things I like. DNF could’ve been brilliant - either embrace your heritage like Doom Eternal would eventually do, or make it into a “last hurrah” kind of thing where Duke realises he’s getting old and can’t kick ass forever. The greatest disappointment of the 2010s so far - but worse would follow with it. The King is dead - hail to the King, baby.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Multiplatform, August 23rd

The piss-tinted prequel to 2000′s excellent conspiracy RPG Deus Ex, Human Revolution is like smashing Robo-Cop into a world where Detroit is not a humanitarian disaster zone. Adam Jensen, the gravelly-voiced biomechanically enhanced security chief of David Sarif, is dragged into a world of American conspiracies involving FEMA death camps, the government enforcing martial law in US cities and massive Chinese conglomerates plotting to control the world. Just like real life! DXHR is my favourite in the series for its design, atmosphere and narrative.

Dead Island - Multiplatform, September 6th

Eh. Wasn’t that good. Notable for having the most misleading fucking trailer since Metal Gear Solid 2, but nowhere near as fulfilling upon release. An open world zombie survival game with a focus on melee weapons more fragile than your granny’s second hip. Oh great, now there’s a dead kid on my page. Thanks, Techland!

Driver: San Francisco - Multiplatform, September 6th

A game you literally can’t buy anymore, DSF was incredible to play when it came out and has only really gotten better with time. It’s still so unique for a driving game that I’m surprised Ubisoft have had the good sense to just leave it and not go pants-on-head retarded with the franchise since. Nick Robinson had to buy Subway gift cards just to purchase this game. 

Batman: Arkham City - Multiplatform, October 18th

Arkham City was so cool at launch and it still is today. A proper Batman epic with twists, turns, and the most addictive combat arena for years. This whole thing is gold from start to finish, except for the Harley Quinn DLC. I can’t even go into detail about it here, but I fucking LOVE this game.

Sonic Generations - Multiplatform, November 1st

Sonic Generations is the best Sonic game since 3 & Knuckles, but has now unfortunately convinced Sega that not only do people despise the Adventure games, they also really want to see Classic Sonic and Green Hill EVERY GODDAMN DAY. Generations is like a proper celebration of Sonic’s history, even including stuff from every reviewer’s favourite punching bag Sonic 2006 - I really like Generations and it has a stellar modding scene on PC.

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception - Sony PlayStation 3, November 1st

The “finale” of the Uncharted series until Naughty Dog decided it wasn’t. Uncharted 3 may not be as tight as Among Thieves, but it’s just as enjoyable. As quipping invincible action hero Nathan Drake, you’ll ruin historical artifacts and “incapacitate” about 4000 guys in your quest to find Iram of the Pillars, chased by Cruella de Ville and her mercenary squad of a million faceless Englishmen. 

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - Multiplatform, November 8th

God I was so excited for this. World War 3 never looked cooler, and then it came out - and it wasn’t that good. It didn’t feel as epic as MW2, not as well-written as MW, and not as interesting as World at War and Black Ops. Multiplayer was... fine? I think this is the point where most people realised that Call of Duty was basically downhill from here.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Multiplatform, November 11th

See this paragraph? You can read it. Another installment in Bethesda’s cross-franchise “Little Lies” series, Skyrim has been released more times than China’s created a pandemic. But it’s still really good and when you rub it the right way it comes all over your screen like a particularly excited storyteller, ready to point in the direction of adventure.

Super Mario 3D Land - Nintendo 3DS, November 13th

Yeah this was the point I decided I wanted a 3DS. It looked incredible and so fluid, and it really was! Playing this was great fun. That’s really all there is - I can’t be funny about it, nor overly critical. What do you want from me?

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations - Multiplatform, November 15th 

I didn’t like this when it came out - I thought the new graphic style was bad, Constantinople was dull, and the music was too different. Ezio was angrier, older, and the complete lack of any supporting cast from Brotherhood had me thinking this was a game that nobody wanted to work on - but now that I’m older, I can see this for how good it really was. Revelations blends the Ezio and Altair stories together, culminating in a satisfying emotional climax. 

Saints Row: The Third - Multiplatform, November 15

This video speaks for itself.

Minecraft - Windows, November 18th

There’s something beautiful about those early builds of Minecraft. Quiet, unassuming, and riddled with potential for exploration. I could talk for hours about the first time I was thrown into Mojang’s survival experience, about how I still get a bit weepy hearing Wet Hands by C418, about how shit-scared I still am of the mines and caves. Minecraft is immortal, and always will be. 

[vedj-f-bekuesu]

2019 in Retrospect

2019 has been fairly quiet, so I decided to start off this year by looking back on it. I’ll be dividing it by main fandoms/characters/ships because this year there were actually some new ones. That hasn’t been the case since, like, 2013. 

Sonic the Hedgehog

It was an...alright year for Sonic. TSR was fine but too light on content, Mario and Sonic Tokyo felt like a step down from Mario and Sonic Rio but was still alright, and I have not played SEGA Heroes (and haven’t bothered with the Chao in Space short). Lowest spot for me was the IDW comic; the Zombot arc has had one interesting story so far, but the rest has had either bad writing (primarily aimed at Shadow’s turn) or it’s just been wallowing in its bleakness in a way even Shadow the Game didn’t. Then again, I find zombie stories uninteresting to begin with, so no duh I’m not interested in a Sonic take on it. 

Chaotix kind of mirror that. Vector’s managed to get a good showing in, batting 3 for 3 on the game front, and having a key role in two of them. And like I said before, the Chaotix have genuinely had the most interesting stories within the Zombot arc, although with Vector and Charmy turned this may become more limited. Speaking of though, Espio and Charmy have had weaker presences. Espio managed to get into all three games in some form but to a lesser extent (one just by name), and Charmy was really left behind. 

As for Vecpio, it’s been pretty bare for canon material stuff. Espio got mentioned in TSR as contributing the report that reveals Dodon Pa’s true role (with him and Vector being the key to making everyone shut up about him being suspicious, proving they’re best as a team). And Mario and Sonic Tokyo has something if you headcanon some stuff; when Vector talks about the medals, Espio is the first person you’re directed to. Nothing is said by Vector about Espio in text, but you can implicate that Espio was chosen first because of his strong link to Vector, being the first one Vector would trust to compete at a gold level. Other than that? Dry. And with no announcements for Sonic games in 2020, this may just continue. 

Crash Bandicoot

On the reverse side, we have Crash Bandicoot having a really strong year. CTR:NF came out (which is a remake of my favourite Crash game) and has been doing gangbusters. On top of this, it has been going out of its way to revive pretty much every dead character in the franchise, to the point that we have RIlla Roo back in the fold (something I genuinely didn’t think would happen 19 years beforehand). 

Skipping straight to the shipping for this, I wouldn’t have imagined it for Crash ever, but there’s actually some in-game material for me to latch onto for DingodileXKomodo Joe! Dingodile has been pushed into a more jovial character since N-Sane Trilogy, being even more doubled down on in CTR:NF. However, for the past 20 years Komodo Joe has managed to avoid being given traits closer to Espio. This game finally catches up to him, and does it hard. Seriously, his character took a hard turn for the stoic badass Espio did after Heroes, and when did Joe ever use Martial Arts magic ever? Aside from making that dynamic naturally more matching, Slide Coliseum joins in the fun with the visual upgrade. It has holographic projections of a trophy girl repping a couple of racers dancing each, and guess who the devs felt could be paired up for how they go together rhythmically? That’s right, my reptile boys. Man. 

Super Mario Bros

What a weak year for Mario for me. What Mario got for new games this year were Luigi’s Mansion 3 (which I’ve not played), Mario Maker 2 (which isn’t new story content and doesn’t interest me in the slightest), Yoshi’s Crafted World (which I forgot was a thing) and Mario Kart Tour/Dr Mario World (which...um). 

Because of this set-up, Bowser hardly got anything to do so he’s really been on the backburner. Considering how he’s been pushed in the rest of the decade that’s saying something. In fact, the most character stuff he got was in Mario and Sonic Tokyo, and even that was mostly just alright (I think Bowser Jr got the best deal out of that).

Spyro the Dragon

Spyro was alright, but this one’s more understandable. With 2018 being the big year for Spyro’s return, 2019 was a rest for the little guy. That being said it wasn’t completely quiet; Spyro Reignited Trilogy finally got its port on the Switch, and to tie in with that Spyro got an appearance in CTR:NF. 

Because of the latter point, Gnasty Gnorc got a surprisingly strong year. Not only having more people learn about his glow-up in SRT, but bringing over that petty and angry character to CTR:NF. Seriously, his bit in the grand prix intro video is great, and he has more lines in his racing quips than any other game. 

OK KO

I don’t think I made a post about OK KO on Tumblr (or maybe I did one, I can’t remember). But I did manage to get into this just before it got cancelled so there’s that. 

I maintain that the Sonic crossover (aka the first thing I really knew about OK KO) didn’t give me a good impression of the show.It just seemed like “here’s the Sonic and Eggman dynamic but with more cartoon shenanigans*” and it spent more time making endless Sonic references. While some were deeper cuts which actually were impressive, most were references I could see in pretty much any Sonic-referencing material. It wasn’t until I decided to look up more info on Lord Boxman sometime after because I wanted to check if N.Gin was an influence that I found out the plot of the actual show (crossover notwithstanding) was pretty nuts and way more up my alley. 

Speaking of, there’s Voxman. Whereas other ships on here I have to dig through material to construct nuggets from them, this was literally in the text. And why not, they have a good dynamic and are usually the most fun to watch bounce off each other. And I still like the fact that if KO and Lord Boxman were the Sonic and Eggman parallel, the story ends with Eggman becoming Sonic’s stepfather. Let’s see IDW tell a story like that, it’d be better than the Zombot stuff. 

*I think that was the point but still. 

LEGO

Man I wouldn’t have thought they would have remade LEGO Racers but the one they made this year was gre--

Okay no, this year basically reignited another flame that I thought was snuffed out like 16 years ago. For a brief history of me and LEGO, when I was six I had a freestyle box which I used to make an elemental superhero persona. I played with this until I was 11. Before then, my sister got some LEGO Harry Potter sets (which we still have in the loft), I played LEGO Racers a lot (and wasn’t very good at it), and I owned two random other LEGO sets (the trike from Life on Mars and Lava from RoboRIders). 

After that, I only dabbled in LEGO when there was a Sonic set done for LEGO Dimensions. I did try to play more into it, but it was really prone to crashing in certain worlds so I eventually got frustrated enough to stop playing it. Sometime in the interim though my sister started enjoying LEGO films without me knowing, so when February came around I was dragged to see LEGO Movie 2 when all I wanted to see in 2019 was Toy Story 4. Dad insisted on it since we rarely have family outings. In retrospect; 

LEGO Movie 2 hit me in a way a piece of media hasn’t for years, or even decades. It’s shot up to be my third-favourite film of all time. And it’s revealed to me that LEGO is shockingly good at making endearing characters. So much so that breaking it down (pun not intended) has to be done by theme.

LEGO Movie: Part of the reason why I didn’t get into LEGO earlier was because I did see LEGO Movie back in 2014 when my sister was given it on DVD (she wasn’t into LEGO then) and I wasn’t impressed with it. In retrospect, I can appreciate what it did more, and I bring it up because it’s what makes Unikitty, Benny and Metalbeard so endearing when combined with what happened in TLM2. Lucy’s okay (moreso in the sequel), Emmet’s cute, President Business is fun but the MVP is definitely Rex Dangervest, who’s this feral monster but with Emmet buried away deep inside ready to flesh him out. When I make LEGO stories, I just have Rex change his mind on rescuing himself after getting the dinosaurs, and instead wreaking havoc in the present. This kills Emmet off in any story I do but it’s a worthy sacrifice. 

LEGO City Undercover: As a video game person I’m kicking myself for not getting into this before. Frank Honey is the best; he’s adorable and weird yet still feeling very much human and basically the Emmet of his city. Rex Fury has grown on me lots since my initial assessment of him,it’s infectious how much fun he has with being a criminal (while Vinnie is more fun when not doing criminal stuff and Chan seems to be more focused on doing criminal stuff as a job. I also think his calmer side is criminally (no pun intended again) overlooked). Also Ellie is underrated, she is the best straight man you could ask for. 

LEGO City Adventures: As I’ve said before, pretty much everyone in LCA is adorable, especially Duke and Harl. Still hoping for more Daisy time in the second season, she could be a riot if played properly and not just a Fendrich stooge. 

Ninjago: Coming in with the hot take here; I prefer the movie version of Ninjago to the series. I think the problem with the series is that it has so much baggage from before the series started to iron out some of its issues and cliches that it’s kinda hard to get into as a new person, whereas movie Ninjago is a lot more approachable and written better off the bat (although I do see why it wouldn’t go down well with existing Ninjago fans). This all just makes me think of that moment in series 11 where Nya sees her worst fear of being normal in an artefact and it shows her movie self, almost as a take that. It just makes me think the show writers are salty about movie Nya kicking show Nya’s ass in being a better character. Also shout outs to Kai, Cole, Zane and Lloyd for being great characters as well (Jay is cute in the movie, his show self can be punted off a cliff for all I care). And I am with the movement to have Cole come out as gay (or at least bi if they want to keep Tournament of Elements I guess). 

Nexo Knights: This show is regarded as another Ninjago wannabe, but it feels very different to Ninjago to me. So much so, there’s not a single one of the heroes I don’t like and they all need to be cherished. Macy gets props for being the best female character to me, Aaron is probably my favourite now and this is a house of Clance for future reference. 

So, with all that being said, what do I think of the prospects for 2020? I think it’s going to be quieter than 2019 to be honest, since there’s a lot winding down, and on the game side there’s been zero announcements. Crash and Spyro having a rest is understandable, Sonic’s going to have to get past the movie before gearing up for 2021 probably (for the record I have no interest in the movie) and Mario just needs to try harder. And with OK KO dead, only LCA is holding the fort for guaranteed new content I want to engage in right now. 

You know what would be fun though? Series 20 of the minifigures theme is due at the end of this year. Wouldn’t it be awesome to use the occasion to give some phsical minifigures to characters who never got them before? LIke, Rex Fury somehow still has enough demand to be a persistent feature in the customs market, give him an official figure (especially since he’s the only character from LCU that’s not Chase that’s even appeared in merch outside the game). Or let Sky Lane get her LEGO Universe look in physical form to go with her LIXS look. Or heck, finally give Rocket Racer his original look, that’s how I discovered the minifigure world in the first place!

[that-was-anticlimactic]

The Last Hope

Day Twenty-Six: The Last Hope

Oh my rowling I couldn’t watch an episode last night because my horrible sleep schedule crashed down on me and I could’t stop falling asleep:/

Garmadon: me? Sad? Nonsense! I couldn’t be happier!

^^that reminds me of the song “Not Evil” from the second Lego Movie when she says “and I never cry when I’m alone at night, cause I’m not sad I love my life” haha

awww Garm loves his son I love their relationship ahjshwj

shirtless legos !!

Jay says that they’ve been working on their witty quips I love

Cole picks up a tree and then freaking throws it I love

Okay but Jay and Zane look adorable in the shirts they are wearing (and Cole and Kai look great too)

F a l c o n

Lloyd: if we’re all gears, what if I’m the gear that doesn’t work? What if I don’t do my part? What if I can’t defeat my father?

Wu: What if there are no “what ifs”. The final battle is almost upon us. When that time comes, we will know the answer to what if, whether we like it or not.

freaking Lloyd I love you hun.

Misako with plot convenience scrolls

BEQUEATHED SHE SAID IT

Jay: uhh I’m still stuck on what “bequeathed” means

Bequeath is iconic

lol Cole just says go on don’t get us interrupt you haha

Jay: Bequeathed? Anyone? Is anybody gonna help me out with that?

Garmadon’s relationship with the Overlord in this episode is like father and child lol, he angrily crosses his arms and turns away

Cole: uhh bada-bada, bing-bong!

Kai: Cheep, cheep, chit-ta-ta

Zane: tick tock, tick tock

Jay: Bequeath bequeath bequeath !

Oh my rowling I can’t even this part is so iconic and amazing ! Ahhh I’m screeching !

Jay: *as they run to “do work* bequeath bequeath bequeath

Zane: tick-tock, polly-wock

I like to think they improvised this but they probably didn’t haha oh wow I love them and when they go undercover I’m freaking wheezing

see this episode just proves my point that Cole can’t go undercover for crap lol the stone warrior bonked him and he talked back and then threw him off the “building”

Cole: *when he done screws up* oh this is bad, this is really really bad

frick man Garmadon just wants to be understood ahh

Misako: and you got spotted

Jay: Cole gave us away!

Cole: Alright, I’ve had a rough day

hA I feel that’s senior year man

Garmadon probably got a kick out of saying “bye bye” and then kicking Kai, since they hated each other haha

yes Jay !!! Keep it on!

Nya: is that really wise? If that helmet turns you evil, I’m kicking you out

I love when Zane says excellent lol, it’s just such a Zane thing to say

This episode went from cute fluff to oh frick

yES LLOYD YES HUN

I can’t even imagine how Lloyd feels right now. And with the ninja essentially telling Lloyd to kill him, I mean because it’s what he has to do but... this poor kid

yes Cole! Climb that clock!

Ah Kai and Nya hug was cute

Okay I love Nya and all, but being as agile and athletic as she is, she should have been able to jump to them to not get caught, haha. I mean I know the plot demanded she get captured but whatever

G a r m a t r o n

Yoo that was a good episode. Two episodes left of season two and then on to Rebooted! You know, out of spite at the love triangle, I only watched Rebooted all the way through one time. I’ve watched a few episodes multiple times but not the whole season more than once because of said petty spite... I suck lol, rewatching it will be nice!

See you all tomorrow with Return of the Overlord! I hope you all had a good day!

[shambhalala]

Before the Storm (Cullen Rutherford X Inquisitor Lavellan)

Dragon Age: Inquisition has pretty much consumed my being over the last two weeks, which I’m more than okay with. I couldn’t resist writing this angsty one-shot of my Dalish Inquisitor, Varya, and her love, Cullen Rutherford. Spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition ahead. Enjoy!

Also: big thanks to my lovely friends @historyofamanda, @reservedravens, and @onespoongirl with this, you guys are the best!

Warnings: mild cursing, emotional distress.

Word count: 4,543

Songs that helped me write this:

‘Shrike’ by Hozier

‘Penguin’ by Christina Perri

She had returned to Skyhold through a mirror.

Or so those were the whispers that had swiftly spread throughout the entire castle. No one had expected it, but the unmistakable clash from the seldom used room near Skyhold’s garden was answer enough.

Dorian, Sera, and Blackwall had stumbled back to their quarters like heroes, weary but hopeful. Morrigan and the Inquisitor herself, Varya Lavellan, marched straight to the war room to plan out their next steps with Spymaster Leliana, Ambassador Josephine, and Commander Cullen. With the Well of Sorrows firmly in Morrigan’s grasp, there was no time to waste in preparing for Corypheus’s swift vengeance. Maker knows it would come sooner than any of them desired.

An hour passed, and a plan was formed. Morrigan’s acquired knowledge from the well made formulating their attack much easier; summon Mythal in the Arbor Wilds, and she would grant them the powers necessary to defeat Corypheus and his red lyrium dragon. It sounded so simple, but they all knew this would be no easy victory.

They disbanded shortly after. With the remainder of the day in front of her, Varya intended to spend her time with those dearest to her. All eyes followed her as she walked around Skyhold with utmost poise, though few of the castle’s population feared her anymore. Despite being the Inquisitor, and the alleged Herald of Andraste, Varya brought an air of serenity with her everywhere she went, though she seemed oblivious of the calming effect she had on people. Maybe it was her humble Dalish upbringing, or the company she kept that made her light-hearted and modest. Regardless, she was a formidable warrior to her enemies, but a gentle, noble woman to her friends. Her hair was as fiery and red as the determination that drove her, but her eyes were a crystal grey, capable of easing the weight of one’s burdens with a single glance.

Needless to say, Varya had quickly captured the attention of Commander Cullen. The troubled man was knocked off his feet by the wave of emotions he felt for the Inquisitor. It pained him every time she was sent to fight, despite knowing she was a force to be reckoned with. Her remarkable calming aura stirred in him something that he had never felt before, and he found himself red-faced and flustered whenever she smiled at him, and lost for words when she expressed her gratitude towards him time and time again. When the time came and she returned his feelings, he couldn’t believe his luck. Their relationship blossomed from then on, and it showed in both of them. Despite the endless teasing from their friends and fellow advisors, none of them could deny that they shared in their happiness. With all that was going on in the outside world, to see love prevailing during difficult times was a welcome sight. Skyhold may be their home, but Varya and Cullen found that their true homes were in each other’s hearts all along.

And so, with her mind calm and clear despite all she had yet to face, Varya wandered the castle. She hadn’t failed to notice Cullen’s quick departure from the war room, nor the concerned frown on his face. She decided to give him some time alone before seeking him out, as much as her heart yearned to be in his arms again. Up the winding stairs she went to Skyhold’s library, not without being stopped by Solas, who tore himself away from his studies to thank her and express his admiration for all she had done.

“You make it sound like you’re leaving,” she quipped with a smile, but the thought made her chest sting. She had known Solas since that fateful day when she first sealed the rift at the temple, and he had shared much with her about his studies of The Fade. Was he leaving?

“I suppose I do not know yet, but I will remain here for the time being for my studies. Thank you, Inquisitor.”

His answer was not satisfying, but Varya knew there was no use in asking him for more details. She continued up to the library, finding Dorian sitting in his favourite chair by the window, lost in a book until she wandered up to him.

“Good book?”

Normally, Dorian’s eyes would have lit up in delight when he saw her, and he would have wasted no time in making a remark that, from anyone else, would have been more than a tad inappropriate and personal. But today, Dorian’s face was concentrated and serious.

“What happened at the Elven temple… it’s got me thinking. I should go back, shouldn’t I? To Tevinter, once this is done… if we’re still alive.”

Again, Varya’s chest stung at his words, and her heart hammered. Dorian stood up and she swallowed past the small lump in her throat, following his every move as he paced around with purpose. Dorian had become a dear friend to her as the Inquisition continued to grow, and she felt pride swell inside of her as he stated his intention to return to his home and restore some of his people’s forgotten history. But the same thought lingered in her mind, growing louder and louder; he was leaving. She shook the thought away as best as she could and composed herself.

“Someone with your impeccable taste could transform Tevinter.”

“I hope you’re right. You usually are,” he replied. “It might surprise you to know that you’re the one who inspired me.”

He was right; Varya blinked in disbelief. Dorian continued his noble speech, and the pride swelling in her chest continued to grow. Before this moment, she had barely stopped to consider the true weight of her actions, and how they would affect those around her. Her friend was a proud man, and hearing a confession of such sincerity flow so easily, so readily, from him, was evidence enough of her impact. Underneath her feelings of pride, her mind wandered again.

He was leaving.

“Anyway,” Dorian switched to his normal hearty tone, snapping Varya back to attention. “I thought you’d be rushing into the arms of your dear Commander,” he teased.

Composed as she was, the teasing from her dear Tevinter friend always made Varya’s cheeks grow red, a stark contrast to the blue vallaslin that decorated her forehead. Dorian took great delight in this, chuckling softly as he stepped closer to her.

“Cullen seemed like he needed a moment alone,” Varya replied.

Dorian nodded. “Don’t leave him too long though, or he’ll be wandering round with that lost puppy look on his face. He always does that when you’re gone for too long,” he rolled his eyes with an affectionate smile. “Anyway, was there something you needed?”

Varya shook her head. “No, but thank you, Dorian. For everything.” Her voice was soft, and any cracks that may have shown were quickly covered up by her smile.

Dorian smiled back with a nod. “A pleasure,” he replied, as she turned away and descended the stairs.

Skyhold was always a place of comfort and security for Varya, but now, the stairwell seemed endless, claustrophobic. As soon as she was outside she strode along the battlements to Cullen’s room, only to find he was not there. With a disappointed sigh, she made her way down into the main courtyard, taking slight relief in the gentle afternoon breeze. Her love may still need some space, she thought. She squashed down the growing burdens in her mind, entering Herald’s Rest.

The tavern was filled with chatter and soft music, as its patrons surrounded themselves with drinks, either happy to be drinking or trying to drown out their worries about the upcoming battle. Varya continued her wander, her heart growing lighter at Iron Bull’s encouraging words of solidarity. However, this feeling was diminished when she reached a rather hysterical Sera, who had grown anxious and uncertain about her beliefs. She decided to take out her frustrations by stomping back and forth in the corner room of the tavern that she had decorated as her own, ranting in colourful language.

“There can’t be a bunch of gods and the Maker. Don’t matter how much or little you believe, those don’t fit,” she declared, but she fiddled with her hands, unsure of herself.

Varya sighed. Yet another burden she could not escape; the origins of her faith, and where she stood now. Truthfully, she didn’t know what to believe, but she knew there was at least some morsel of truth in what Abelas and the ancient elves had said, which only complicated matters in her mind. But this confession offered Sera little comfort.

“No, now you’re stupid. You can’t think that because it’s stupid,” Sera whined.

“But everything we saw-”

“Why believe it? Because Abelas looked weird? If that’s all it takes, Coryphy-shitheel is full of lumpy truth,” Sera’s words were cutting, final, and they rendered Varya silent. She didn’t want to lose her friend over something as subjective as faith, but she felt as if she were treading on thin ice. Sera continued her spiel and Varya stood wordlessly, feeling her delicate demeanour starting to crack from within. The breeze flowing into the room was suddenly chilling, and it jostled the curtains and made her shiver.

“Anyway, believe what you want, so long as we kill Coryphy-fish. Whatever,” Sera sighed, turning away to slump on the window ledge, casting a sorrowful gaze upon the outside world.

Varya was still lost for words. Sera was stubborn and scared, so there was little use in trying to reason with her when their future was still hanging by a thread. She took her leave, ascending to the top floor of the tavern where Cole stood alone in a corner. Her movements were slow as she contemplated Sera’s remarks; she’ll probably leave too, or decorate my quarters with arrows, she thought. It made her heart sink further.

Cole sensed her presence without needing to look up. Despite now being more human than spirit, he could still sense her mind’s state. He bore deeper into her head as she stepped closer, seeing past the thin smile that graced her face.

“You are troubled,” he stated.

Varya knew there was little use in trying to hide the worries that were piling up in her mind from Cole. She nodded with a gentle sigh, scratching the back of her head and looking down.

“A chilling wind on a warm summer day. A warning, of what is to come, but not all is bad. Your temperament wavers like a dying flame, but you are strong. Still, you have hope,” Cole’s voice was gentle and whispery as always.

“You’re quite correct, Cole,” Varya responded, smiling at him. Whilst most of the Inquisition feared Cole’s abilities and disliked having their souls looked into by someone, or something, they did not understand, Varya took comfort in knowing that her troubles did not remain entirely unseen.

“How are you feeling? Now that you’re more human?” she asked him.

“I am feeling many things. Some are good, others are bad. Currently I am feeling… gratitude. Hope. Courage. And something…”

Cole’s stomach gurgled, startling them both.

“Ah, yes. Hunger,” he smiled. Varya couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted from her chest, and Cole joined her, his face lighting up in the most animated grin she had ever seen on him.

As their laughter died down, Cole’s expression faded, and he closed his eyes.

“He prays for you,” he whispered.

Varya blinked in surprise, her eyebrows shooting up. She didn’t need to ask to whom he was referring.

“Intense. Chest burning, heart on fire. Love, with fear. Pain. Faith, as much as you can give me,” he continued, his voice growing desperate at the end of his sentence until his eyes snapped open, and he nodded at Varya.

“You should go to him now.”

Varya felt breathless, her mind racing and heart aching. She pictured Cullen, kneeling, praying, alone, and she was overcome with yearning again. She needed his strength and comfort as she felt hers diminishing.

“D-did I help?” Cole asked, an unusual air of vulnerability to his voice. Varya sometimes had to remind herself that he was still so young.

“Yes, you did. Thank you, Cole. I will speak with you later,” she replied with a gentle smile. Her reply came automatically, and she tried to ignore the fleeting thought that there may not be a later.

Cole smiled back, relief washing over his face. Varya left the tavern across the battlements, racing through abandoned rooms back to the grand hall. She was stopped twice on her way by Cassandra and Blackwall, both of them voicing their admiration and loyalty to her once more. Though their words were sincere and she appreciated them, they only added to the circle of thoughts swimming in her mind. Everything was suddenly feeling so… final, and she did not know how to handle it.

Still, she walked, head held high, into Skyhold’s garden. Sure enough, she soon found her love, tucked away in the prayer room. She approached the door, seeing him kneeling before the statue of the Bride of the Maker. Candles burned away on the stone floor, bathing the room in a warm orange light. If circumstances were different, she would have appreciated the room’s tranquillity. For now, she was grateful to see Cullen gaining some comfort in his prayer.

“Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker’s light, and nothing that he has wrought shall be lost.”

Varya’s chest tightened at his recital.

“A prayer for you?” she asked.

Cullen’s posture relaxed at the gentle sound of her voice.

“For those we have lost. And those I am afraid to lose.”

He wavered on those last words, and Varya’s chest tightened further, a stabbing sensation filling her abdomen.

“You’re afraid?”

“Of course I am!” Cullen’s voice echoed in the small space, but he was not angry. He stood up to face Varya, his features instantly softening at the sight of her grey eyes. Words could not begin to describe how beautiful she was to him. He tore his gaze away in anguish, his voice continuing to waver.

“When the time comes, you will be thrown into his path again. Andraste preserve me, I must send you to him.”

Internally, Varya panicked. She knew Cullen well, and knew how doubt and self-hatred consumed him in moments of weakness. She had been a fool, to think she could seek his comfort and wisdom at a moment like this. She felt selfish. It broke her heart to see him like this, but she needed to remain strong, for his sake.

Their journey to Honnleath flashed through her mind. How blissful she felt, standing in his arms by the lakeside. She channelled that memory, allowing herself to revel in that peaceful moment once more. She remembered the coin he had given her for luck, the one given to him by his brother before he left for Templar training.

“There’s nothing to worry about. I have luck on my side, remember?” she smiled at him. Her ability to remain so collected and positive, even at what may be the end of days, melted his heart every time.

“That’s less comforting than I’d hoped,” he chuckled lightly in response.

In a desperate moment of emotion, they threw their arms around each other. Varya sighed in relief into his firm grasp as he buried his head in her shoulder.

“Whatever happens, you will come back.” Cullen whispered, almost pleading.

Varya tightened her grasp on his shoulders and swallowed past the lump that continued to grow in her throat.

“Cullen you don’t have to-”

“Allow me this,” he begged.

“The thought of losing you… I can’t.” The words were mostly to himself more than anyone else. His voice was even more desperate than before.

They remained there for several minutes, silently embracing each other. Although neither of them wanted to let go, they both knew they had important matters to attend to before Varya’s departure tomorrow. Slowly, they ghosted their arms down each other’s forms and looked into each other’s eyes. Cullen placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead and they departed, leaving the warm light of the prayer room behind them.

Cullen returned to his room, and Varya to hers. She kept her gaze firmly ahead of her on her way, her lips pressed into a tight line. She ignored Varric’s excited smile at her presence, knowing now that she would find little comfort in talking any longer. She needed solitude.

In her quarters, she paced back and forth, finding herself unable to lie still on her bed or sit comfortably at her desk. The weight of her situation was crushing her, and she found it harder and harder to remain strong. The fate of Thedas rested in her hands, in the power that had been bestowed upon her left one, the power that she never asked for.

She glanced down at the Anchor. It was not currently glowing, but she knew it would only be a matter of time before it illuminated again. She clenched her hand into a fist, as if it would disappear.

She grumbled in frustration and raked her hands through her hair, yanking out her tight ponytail. She stormed to the balcony and gripped the stone railings, casting out her gaze over Skyhold. The sun was gradually starting to set over the mountains in the distance.

What if she failed? She had never had a moment to entertain the thought until now, though truth be told, she was more terrified of what would happen if she succeeded. She had spent the best part of a year in Skyhold, feeling at home, making new friends, falling in love; the thought that all of this may soon come to an end, when Dorian returned to Tevinter, when Blackwall was submitted to the Grey Wardens, if Cassandra or Leliana became the new Divine, was devastating. All of these people were counting on her, looking up to her, but she was terrified of failing them, or letting them go.

Falling in love. Her mind returned to Cullen. His kind smile, the way his eyes softened whenever they were together. The way he danced with her at the Winter Palace, despite his apprehensiveness. Their shared kisses on the battlements when they could spare a moment, though the time was always too short for their liking. The first time they said they loved each other the morning after their love making. She loved him with all her heart, she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him alone.

At last, the floodgates of her mind exploded, and she wept.

Several hours passed. The sun was just disappearing behind the mountains as food was brought into the grand hall. Even as everyone sat to eat what little they could stomach, there was not one trace of Varya. Her seat remained empty. Everyone exchanged worried glances, casting their gaze every so often to the door to her quarters.

Josephine was the first to speak up, with a gentle clear of her throat.

“Has anyone seen Var-Lady Inquisitor?” she asked, perusing the table.

Silence, until Varric spoke up.

“She went back to her quarters, and… I don’t think she’s come out yet,” he sighed.

“I see,” Josephine replied, defeated.

“Most unusual,” Dorian mused, stroking his moustache with one hand.

Silence fell over the table again, everyone’s minds swimming with confusion, concern.

Suddenly, Cullen pushed his chair out from underneath him, standing up from the table.

“You gonna talk to her, curly?” Varric asked.

“Of course. I know Varya appreciates her own company wherever she can spare it, but this… this is… worrying,” he trailed off at the end of his sentence, frowning and casting his gaze to her door.

Looks of adoration were cast to the Commander. Hearing her name roll so naturally off his tongue reminded everyone of his love for her, that he was more than the Inquisition’s hardened Commander.

Cullen walked away, taking purposeful steps towards the door before disappearing behind it. All eyes followed him.

“I don’t suspect we’ll be seeing him again tonight,” Dorian remarked.

Josephine gasped in shock, glaring daggers at him for making such a comment. Dorian merely grinned back with one eyebrow cocked. Sera spluttered on her drink, and Dorian sat back in his seat with a smug laugh, crossing one leg over the other and intertwining his hands on his lap. The rest of the table couldn’t help but smile a little, and even Josephine covered her mouth to supress a small giggle. The mood was significantly less sombre now that they knew their Inquisitor wasn’t alone for the night.

Cullen treaded lightly up the stairs to Varya’s quarters. The room was quiet when he reached the top, the only sound coming from the crackling logs in the fireplace as the flames died down. The last of the sun’s rays shone in through the far balcony, casting long golden shadows along the floor. Her bed was neat, untouched, as was the desk.

“Varya, love?” Cullen called as he stepped further into the room. Silence.

Then, he heard a soft sound from outside, to his right. He snapped his head towards it. Was it… it sounded like… crying?

Cullen’s breath ceased. He stepped silently towards the balcony, almost afraid of the sight that awaited him.

Sure enough, there she was. Varya stood facing away from him, looking out towards the magnificent mountains in the distance. The setting sun illuminated her small figure, giving her an ethereal glow. Her hair hung low, just past her shoulders, and it danced gently in the breeze.

Maker’s breath, Cullen thought. As if she wasn’t stunning enough already. But he knew this was no time for gazing lovingly, not yet.

He removed his gloves and tossed them onto the desk, stepping out onto the balcony. He stood just behind her, and placed a gentle arm across her shoulders. He placed his other hand over one of hers. Her iron grip on the railings softened, and she intertwined her fingers with his, stifling a sniffle.

Finally, Varya looked up at him, and Cullen’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

Her eyes were sore and red, tears staining her cheeks as she bit her lip to suppress its trembling. In all their shared moments of love, affection, and vulnerability, he had never seen her so distraught; no one had.

Without hesitation, Cullen exhaled and pulled her against his chest, wrapping both arms round her protectively. He placed a kiss on the top of her head as she clung to him desperately, shaking as more tears poured from her. It took all of his willpower not to weep with her.

“Forgive me… I am being foolish,” she sighed, trying to steady her quavering voice.

Cullen placed his hands on her face, looking down at her and wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

“I highly doubt that, my love,” he replied, offering a small smile, which she returned. His heart continued to break as more tears welled in her eyes, but he persevered.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked.

Varya sighed and closed her eyes, turning back to the mountains. Cullen loosened his embrace but still held one of her hands firmly. She opened her eyes again and looked down at their entwined grasp, blinking to stem further tears.

“It’s just…” she began. She glanced back at him with a pained smile. Even as she was at her lowest, most vulnerable moment, she still tried to hold up the illusion that she was okay. It pained Cullen to wonder how long she had been feeling like this. He stayed silent, rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb, until she was ready to speak again.

“I… I find myself thinking that time has passed all too quickly,” she explained.

“How do you mean?” Cullen asked.

“It…” she stopped, a brief smile flashing across her face before she crumpled in sorrow again. “It seems like only yesterday that we were playing chess together in the garden, and now… I must face Corypheus. Cullen, I feel cheated. No time with you has ever felt like enough.”

Cullen exhaled softly, closing his eyes. He knew how she felt, because he felt exactly the same way.

“And Dorian plans to return to Tevinter. Sera will probably leave too. And Solas. Cassandra. Blackwall. And that’s assuming we make it out alive,” the words tumbled out of her, ending in another choked sob.

Cullen squeezed his eyes shut tighter, shifting to hold her once more and willing himself not to cry. He didn’t even want to imagine the devastation he would feel if she didn’t return.

“Varya…” he began, weaving a hand into her hair. He didn’t know if there was anything he could say to truly comfort her, but he had to try.

“I… do not know what this battle will bring,” he confessed. She stood silent in his arms, her breathing steadier as he stroked his hand through her hair again and again.

“But I know that we will do all we can to aid you. Please, love, do not bear this burden alone any longer. Not when you do not have to,” he kissed her head again, swaying them from side to side.

“But…” Varya hesitated. Her voice had grown raspy now after all her tears, and she stopped to clear her throat.

“You are a strong, remarkable fighter, and I have full faith in you, but the Inquisition is not your burden alone. We will all stand ready to aid you, for anything,” Cullen continued before Varya could doubt herself any further.

Varya looked up at her love again. Although her eyes were still red, they appeared much less tortured than before. She smiled at Cullen, and he smiled back at her, his heart still healing from seeing her so distressed.

“Please… forgive me if I have worsened the burdens you feel,” he mumbled, frowning slightly.

Varya shook her head, placing a hand upon his stubbled cheek. “Never,” she insisted, her smile widening. “You give me more strength than you can ever know.”

“And you to me,” Cullen replied. He leaned down and captured her lips with his, a tender gesture that melted away their worries for the time being. Their hearts beat in unison as they savoured each other, their burdens lightening by the second and scattering into the wind.

They pulled apart, faces still mere inches from each other.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan,” Cullen whispered.

Varya’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushing. “When did you-”

“Let’s just say I sought the advice of our Elven mage friend,” Cullen chuckled.

“Well, I could have guessed it wasn’t from Sera,” she laughed.

They kissed once more and turned to gaze at the mountains together as the sky finally darkened. Although there was much turmoil yet to face, Varya no longer felt as if the world rested solely on her shoulders. She sighed and pressed her head against Cullen’s chest, safe, and happy, for now.

[racingtoaredlight]

Profiles in IMDb Greatness: Glenn Fleshler

I love the Internet Movie Database. was that the big boy from Modern Family working the front desk at a hotel in Almost Famous? Sure was. As such I enjoy looking over random performer pages and arbitrarily judging the scope and quality of their careers to determine if they merit entry into my vaguely defined IMDb Hall of Fame. Today’s enshrinee: Glenn Fleshler

Hello old friends, hope everyone is doing well during this pandemic and instead of protesting at state capitol buildings with the shittiest people alive you’re safe at home enjoying wholesome blog content. While riding out quarantine the mind has more time to wander and ponder the deeper mysteries, like what are the moral obligations a government has to keeping its population alive and in the nearly 50 years of HBO has there ever been a more vital figure in its programming than Glenn Fleshler over the past decade?

Much like Gus Frerotte appearing out of nowhere to be every team’s backup quarterback at some point in the last 20 years, Fleshler just strolls from one prestige television set to another covering the gamut from drama to horror to comedy. I considered writing this post months ago when I first realized we were dealing with Mr. HBO here but quarantine boredom was just the propellant needed to get this baby off the ground.

First Listed Role: While fans of the IMDb HOF may remember my affinity for these actors getting their starts in soap operas the true character actor spirit is captured from appearing in network crime dramas so of course Glenn Fleshler opening up with an episode of Homicide: Life on the Street which also featured friend of the HOF Jon Polito! The episode description is simply “The team investigate a woman who appears to be murdering her husbands for the insurance money” so I’ll assume they ripped the whole thing from the plot of Addams Family Values and Fleshler played Uncle Fester.

Newest Role: Of course after calling Fleshler Mr. HBO I’m immediately served up a role on Showtime’s Billions. I didn’t get into that show when it premiered since I don’t trust Showtime original programming anymore and when I tried to start it up a couple weeks ago I made it five minutes before realizing that a show about rich assholes talking about the stock market wasn’t what I was looking for in 2020. I’m sure it’s delightful.

CSI/Law & Order/NCIS Guest Spots: Three episodes of Law & Order and three more of SVU, six different characters. This is legendary stuff. Let’s go in chronological order where I play my favorite game of trying to guess who the character was in each episode.

Don Hamilton, 2/6/02 - A former aide for a state senator has turned up missing and it’s revealed that she was having an affair with the senator and was pregnant. My money’s on Fleshler as the murderous, fertile politician.

Dr. Noah Kamens, 11/1/02 - Yikes, child sex ring episode here. Fingers crossed that Fleshler was just appearing as a child psychologist and not as a predatory pediatrician but as we’ll visit later he can pull off menacingly creepy well.

Rick Kawalchuck, 4/20/05 - A porn star is murdered, safe to assume Fleshler is the corpse and this light-hearted episode is filled with wisecracks about how with his rigor mortis they won’t be able to close the coffin.

Jimmy Curren, 12/3/08 - A man from upstate New York is found dead in Chinatown, a realistic crime based on my knowledge of midupstate New Yorkers and their appreciation of a good Chinese buffet. This crime leads all the way to the governor’s office and since Jimmy doesn’t sound gubernatorial I’ll guess Fleshler is an adviser who kills the victim over the last potsticker.

Corrections Officer Kravitz, 10/7/09 - This game isn’t fun if you do all the work for me, character name.

Phillip Altshuler, 12/6/17 - A true pro still doing these gigs when at this point he’d been in some truly great TV. this episode is about the rape of a social media star so he’s the venture capitalist funding the app and trying to keep the story under wraps.

One of these days I really should watch an episode of Law & Order.

Hall of Fame Ballot Submissions: Just from the HBO division we got Sex and the City (he looks like Charlotte’s type based on the schlubby lawyer she ends up marrying down the stretch), Boardwalk Empire (not the best show but I did love him as George Remus who always referred to himself as “Remus”), True Detective (hope everyone’s working from home in case remembering the “Making flowers” scene gets you understandably horny), The Knick (technically Cinemax but I always thought they were owned by the same crew, if not when a show has a guy taking a shot of cocaine to the dick it gets in here), The Night Of (kind of became a mess at the end and there entirely too much John Turturro foot picking but the pilot was great), Barry (fantastic show, Fleshler should do more comedy) and then he turned up in the best episode of the incredible Watchmen season.

What a run, when Glenn Fleshler passes on down the road I hope this kicks off his funeral.

Miscellaneous Credits: I didn’t think Joker in any way deserved a Best Picture nomination and the conversation around it was embarrassing all around since in the end it was a mostly entertaining Taxi Driver ripoff but hey, Glenn Fleshler can say he was in award nominated motion picture.

Highest Rated IMDb Entry: Kinda surprised that the True Detective finale landed here since I remember there being disappointment with it even though I thought it and that whole season were fantastic (his relative/ladyfriend Ann Dowd would be a good one to cover in the next post so keep that in mind for the next pandemic) but here it is at a robust 9.6. Fleshler is the right kind of unnerving after a season of buildup to who the killer was. I can see how a fella like that would catch on in multiple Law & Orders universes even if he’s appeared enough times for people to question why everyone in New York City looks like Glenn Fleshler.

Lowest Rated IMDb Entry: A 2016 film called The Rendezvous where Fleshler’s the only name I recognize on the cast list. Let’s learn about this movie together, shall we.

Oof, I was rooting for armageddon to come take me less than a minute in to that. My only intrigue in diving in further is to see if the “we work for a higher power” sticks with that Steel Magnolias accent all throughout the movie. And the quips, my god the quips. The “you think?” line is what happens when Marvel movies are oversold for their witty banter, everyone wants a taste of jokes they don’t have to work on.

IMDb Fun Fact: The only three I had to choose from

Off-Broadway, he has appeared in such plays as Measure for Measure and Pericles, Prince of Tyre.

Fleshler studied acting at New York University's Tisch School of the Performing Arts, from which he has an MFA.

Fleshler's Broadway credits include Death of a Salesman, Guys and Dolls, Arcadia and The Merchant of Venice.

Neat.

IMDb HOF Members: Looking for a Mother’s Day gift for the special ladies in your life? Just send her this list of links and they’ll wish quarantine would never end so long as there are more to read!

Bob Balaban

Jim Beaver

Clancy Brown

W. Earl Brown

Reg E. Cathey

Gary Cole

Keith David

Cary Elwes

Noah Emmerich

Glenn Fleshler

Jami Gertz

John Hawkes

John Michael Higgins

Toby Huss

Allison Janney

John Carroll Lynch

Margo Martindale

David Morse

Joe Morton

Robert Patrick

Bill Paxton

Jon Polito

Alan Rickman

Stephen Root

Matt Ross

Alan Ruck

Peter Stormare

Daniel von Bargen

Next Time: If the pandemic is still ongoing, the monkey from Outbreak. If not, the monkey from Outbreak.

[mexcine2]

Everybody Loves a Clown, So Why Don’t You? (Super-Mystery Comics 4/4, October 1944)  

When did the “scary clown” trope begin? Perhaps there have always been people who found clowns disconcerting and frightening, but the popular culture image of clowns seems to have been (generally) benign for many years.  There were exceptions, and since we’re discussing 1940s (“Golden Age,” if you want to sound like an expert) comics in this essay, consider the multitude of clown villains (alright, maybe half a dozen), not even counting The Joker (who isn’t exactly a clown, but looks like one).  Who fought bad clowns?  Bozo the Robot (in 1941; I wonder if this was somehow subliminally responsible for the later “Bozo the Clown?”), Mr. Scarlet (“The Black Clown”), Green Hornet, Madame Satan (“The Jester,” that’s a kind of clown, right?) the Star Spangled Kid (and Stripsey!), and the Bouncer, to name a few.  [On the heroic side we’ve got “The Clown” who lasted for a mere 2 issues in 1941, and “The Jester,” who had an 8-year run from 1941-49.]

But, after the Joker, the most successful (if, by “successful,” you mean having your sinister plans repeatedly foiled, often getting a savage beating for good measure) clown villain was “The Clown,” the nemesis of Magno and Davey.  Magno and Davey were a super-hero duo for lesser comics publisher Ace, and appeared in 47 (well, Davey was there for 44) stories between 1940 and 1947, mostly in Super-Mystery Comics but with a run in Four Favorites as well.  They met “The Clown” in 24 (51%) of their adventures!  Now that’s a nemesis!

The Clown originally wore a yellow outfit with a green ruffed-collar, belt and boots (over striped boxer shorts, as revealed in one story), although in later issues the colour scheme was reversed so that green predominated (the cover art wasn’t always consistent with the interior art in this respect, however).  Facially, he resembled a balding Joker, although—due to colouring inconsistencies--sometimes he had pasty white skin (especially on the covers) and sometimes mostly flesh-coloured skin (in most interior stories). The Clown seems to be wearing a thin, black domino mask, or perhaps it’s makeup—in one story, he’s badly hurt and lying in a hospital bed without his costume…but the mask is still on! (Maybe it’s a tattoo?)

The Clown was introduced as “the craftiest, most vicious arch criminal of all time,” and in his first few appearances he (a) wrecks a library, (b) tries to burn the American flag, ( c ) sets off explosions in the subway (and vows to “kill MILLIONS”), (d) exploits refugee children, (e) assaults senior citizens and (f) repeatedly commits brutal murders. The Clown has no apparent super-powers, but is an inventor (a chemist, according to the first story) and uses a “degravitating solution” so he can make “long leaps” (in a few stories). He wields a sword and likes to use various types of gas.  The Clown doesn’t seem to have a particular idée fixe or a long-term villainous goal: he occasionally claims he wants to “rule the” country or--less ambitiously--”rule” crime in the USA, but in later issues he’s primarily focused on getting revenge on Magno and Davey.

One thing to mention about The Clown is that there’s no particular reason he’s called “The Clown.”  He doesn’t have an origin story, he isn’t based in a circus, and he doesn’t use clown-like gimmicks to commit crimes.  He doesn’t even rattle off evil-but-humourous quips as he’s doing bad things.  Maybe he just likes the way the costume feels and looks. Or perhaps The Clown was created because somebody at Ace Magazines read Batman 1 (Spring 1940) where The Joker was introduced. The Clown made his debut in Super-Mystery Comics 1/5, December 1940.  A coincidence?  I think not…

The cover of Super-Mystery 4/4 is signed by “Ferstadt,” about whom more later. Early Magno adventures were drawn by Jim Mooney in a significantly more realistic style than Ferstadt’s work; later issues and covers were done by various artists including Rudy Palais, L.B. Cole, Walter Davoren, Harvey Kurtzman, Tony DiPreta, and the Ferstadt studio.

I didn’t (and, to be honest, still don’t) have a great appreciation for Louis Ferstadt’s comic book art. Golden Age comic book artists fall into several categories, including excellent, competent, and terrible.  Ferstadt’s drawing isn’t terrible, but his work seems deliberately distorted, cartoony and intentionally crude.  However, my respect for Ferstadt grew considerably when I saw some of his non-comic book work.  Louis Goodman Ferstadt was born in 1900 in what is now the Ukraine, and moved to the USA with his family at age 10.  Ferstadt studied art and then went to work producing commercial art, newspaper comics (including a strip for “The Daily Worker,” published by the Communist Party of the USA), murals, and comic book stories.  He also established a comics studio in the 1940s; among his employees were L.B. Cole and a young Harvey Kurtzman.  Ferstadt and/or his studio contributed to comics published by nearly every company of the era, including DC, Timely, Ace, Harvey, Hillman, Fox, Better, Holyoke, and Quality.

A glance at images of Ferstadt’s murals and paintings indicates he was a talented artist, but that the type of stylisation used in these media did not necessarily translate to comic book art. There are several other possible explanations, including (a) Ferstadt didn’t consider his non-political comic book stories to be worthy of his full efforts (although the cover of Super-Mystery Comics 4/4 isn’t bad at all—many artists tended to lavish more care on cover art, for obvious reasons), and/or (b) some of the comic book art attributed to him is actually the product of less-experienced artists in his studio (Harvey Kurtzman went to work for Ferstadt when he was just 18, his first professional job).

Super-Mystery Comics was published from 1940-49 by Ace Magazines. Interestingly enough, while a variety of features appeared in each issue, the “Super” type of stories predominated for the first 6 years, then the superhero characters (Magno, The Sword, some lesser costumed heroes like Buckskin and Vulcan) were dropped and “Mystery” (well, crime-type, mostly) stories took over for the final few years. It’s almost as if they planned it that way when they chose the title!

Magno was the comic’s star, appearing on the cover of the first 29 issues of Super-Mystery Comics before yielding his spot to the non-costumed crimefighter Mr. Risk (Magno came back for one more cover, shortly before he was dropped completely from the comic).

One of the interesting things about the cover of Super-Mystery October 1944 is that the image of Magno is so small (and his assistant Davey is even smaller, and has no face).  The dominant figure on the cover is The Clown, looking rather more feral than usual as he brandishes a stick of dynamite.  Although there are some scenes set in a circus in the interior story (which is about The Clown using trained rats to steal stuff and murder people), the cover is mostly symbolic, which was prevalent in the Golden Age (the presence of a particular villain on a cover usually signified that character’s presence inside, however—the comics didn’t cheat that much).

Magno wasn’t the most charismatic superhero, but he was the best Ace had, and yet this cover reduces him to a tiny, almost irrelevant figure and makes The Clown the center of attention.  Covers highlighting a colourful nemesis were not unknown during the Golden Age: The Joker appeared on 22 DC covers during the 1940s, and Captain Marvel’s main villain Sivana on a dozen.  Lev Gleason’s The Claw can be seen on 11 covers in this era, although (a) he was a “starring” villain (sort of like Fu Manchu) and not just a secondary character in a superhero strip, and (b) 7 of these covers just show The Claw as a thumbnail image, alerting readers that his misadventures were included in that issue.  Over at Timely, The Red Skull shows up on only 6 covers of the Forties, compared with 11 stories in which his character menaced Captain American and/or the Young Allies.  The Clown made 10 cover appearances (including one thumbnail-only image): most of these covers depict him in combat with an equally-sized Magno, so that this particular issue of Super-Mystery Comics stands out as an especially Clown-centric cover.

Three other clowns are shown on the cover of Super-Mystery 4/4, each mimicking The Clown but with firecrackers rather than dynamite.  My favourite is the fellow at left wearing a bowler hat and a fake “horse” body: he has a delightfully evil look on his face, and the fact that he’s a “real” clown (as opposed to The Clown, whose makeup and costume don’t really resemble a circus clown) makes him a bit more sinister. Just look at him! He’s creepy! Bowler-Hat is about to be pranked by Prone Clown, who’s lighting a firecracker under his compatriot’s horse-butt: this is more like it, a typical clownish thing to do, and not at all weird or nightmare-inducing.  In the background (but still larger than sidekick Davey) is Tall & Moustachioed Clown, setting off multiple firecrackers in one of his ludicrously oversized hands.  Risky, but comedy requires taking risks!

[As an aside, the banner across the bottom of the cover annoyed me with its apparent error—CHUCK Full of Action and Excitement—until I did a (very little) bit of research, and learned that “chuck full” is an acceptable if “less common” (and probably out-dated) spelling of “chock-full” (which, it is claimed, was originally “choke-full”).]

The cover of Super-Mystery Comics 4/4 (October 1944) is colourful and amusing, if not an outstanding example of comic book art.  However, the backstory of Louis Ferstadt and the prominence of The Clown in superhero Magno’s oeuvre make it “chuck full” of interest.  Alright, perhaps not chuck full, but reasonably interesting.  To me, anyway.

[btw, if you think this blog entry was timed to capitalise on the U.S. release of the new film version of It (2017), you’re...partially correct.]

[electriciandragon]

@gayspacejew this was in my drafts for like. forever. better late than never i guess. it’s kind of stupid but i had a lot of fun writing it lol

this takes place like. a little bit after tresspasser probs. they make several references to this fic.

1. A Romantic Candlelit Dinner.

“You know, we’ve been to Val Royeux lots of times, but I can’t remember us ever eating at the restaurant.” Alphys said, “It’s nice.”

“I hoped you would like it.” Devon said.

They were in Val Royeux, the city lit up and shining despite the dark of night covering it. They sat at a table, waiting for the waitstaff. Devon had this night all planned out. It was going to be great. Alphys was going to love it, probably.

“Actually, you know what? I have been here before, with Cole. Nearly slipped my mind.” She chuckled, before glancing around. “We were here during the day, though. It’s a little... different, at night.”

Devon grinned, “A little romantic?” He asked, “Because that was the intention, if you couldn’t pick that up by the candlelit night and the fancy restaurant. I wanted to do a romantic thing.”

Alphys cracked a smile, and Devon thought he might go this whole night encouraged only by that small smile. Only, afterwards she said, “You don’t have to do things for me.”

“Oh, no. I―I want to. If I didn’t I wouldn’t, probably.” Devon stumbled on his own words, before pausing and taking a breath and carefully working out the proper words to say. “Yeah, I wanted to do this. It’s nice, to get out and spend time with you.”

Alphys opened her mouth to answer, and Devon was sure it was going to be something nice. Something where she smiled―and Alphys was smiling a lot more these days―and laughed at something he replied with. Before she could speak, however, she was cut off by the waitress.

“Hi! Hello, I’ll be your server today!” The waitress―a human girl with long, pale brown hair and arms carrying menus and small, unlit candles―was a little loud, but she smiled brightly and practically shoved (not in a bad way, more in a clumsy way) the menus in their hands, almost dropping the little candles. “Sorry you had to wait for so long. Got to work a little late.” She said, almost impressively gathering herself together.

Devon shrugs, turning to her with a small smile. “No problem.” He said. Alphys nodded, opening her menu.

“May I start you off with anything to drink?” Giselle asked, placing the candles in a little candle-pyramid setup.

They told her their orders, and she nodded, digging into her pockets, before searching them several times. “Shit. Forgot the lighter. I’ll be back.”

“Oh, you don’t have to―” Alphys said, though Giselle had already run off by the time she’d attempted to stop her. Devon shrugged, before lifting a hand to light the candles. Blue flames flickering near them.

“Veilfire. Wow.” Alphys said, leaning on her hand, her elbow resting on the edge of the table.

Devon nodded, “I felt like it was appropriate. Besides, now we’re special.” He said. Alphys snorted a little.

It was a lot of idle conversation after that. Devon did a lot of the talking, periodically checking to see if he wasn’t boring Alphys. She listened intently, nodding and adding a comment here and there.

The waitress came back, and was promptly knocked to the side by an Orleasian couple with silver masks and stars in their eyes.

“Are you―” The first―a short, plump woman with black hair and dark skin―began.

“The Inquisitor!” The other shouted with excitement. She was a tall woman, an elf, too. Her hair was pushed back to expose her ears.

“Looks like you’ve been recognized.” Devon ignored the small bit of annoyance rising in him. This didn’t ruin the evening or anything. It just delayed a part of it. He shrugged, smiling at Alphys, who seemed more than a little surprised at the current moment.

“Oh. Um. Yes. That’s me, the Inquisitor.” She said. There was a moment of silence, and Alphys cleared her throat. “Um. As you can see, my companion and I are enjoying a night out, and―”

“Your companion! So the rumors about you and the Hero of Ferelden...” The first woman gasped, nearly scandalized as she looked between Devon and Alphys, “Ivory, can you believe it? I mean, I guess it makes sense, elves stick with elves and all―wait, does this mean Commander Cullen is available now?”

At this point, Devon actually groaned. Not that he didn’t love hearing the rumors that his lover was involved with a man he actively detested, but it was getting a bit tiring to hear it time after time again.

“Not to say I think you made the wrong choice, Lady Inquisitor, but I did meet the man at the Winter Palace once―pity he didn’t accept my proposal of marriage―and he seemed lovely! Maker, you must have broken his heart.”  

“Well, it’s hard to break a heart of someone you weren’t seeing in the first place, but―” Alphys sighed, “May I be left to my dinner in peace, please?”

“Fine, fine. I understand, it must be hard to get privacy when the disbandment of the Inquisition is such a buzz these days.” Devon barely resisted the urge to tell her that people like her are the origin of the problem. “Ah! I can’t believe I get to say I met the Inquisitor, of all people, and I get to confirm the rumors about her and the Hero of Ferelden.” She continued as she walked off, the second woman following behind her.

They waited for a moment, before Devon added, “You know, I’m starting to miss the attention. Now, suddenly, all people want to hear about is the Inquisitor. You know, ten years ago I couldn’t step foot into a public place without a crowd forming.” He joked. Alphys snorted.

“I’m sure.” She said. “I mean, I can hardly blame them.”

“You’re too kind. Unfortunately, unlike you, most of them left after I begun telling them my lengthy backstory. Such a pity.”

“Ahem.” The waitress cleared her throat, “Um. I was going to inform you that I had the lighter for the candles, but clearly you handled that.” She said. There was a moment of silence. “So, um, I couldn’t help but overhear that you were never really dating the commander of the Inquisition? Not to be intrusive, but―”

“Great! Don’t be intrusive.” Devon grinned, “So, how about those orders? Because I could really go for a drink right now.”

“Oh, right, sorry.”

Devon ordered a drink that, according to the menu, was authentic Dalish spirits. Alphys assured him that anything authentically Dalish would not be served in an Orleasian restaurant to non-Dalish patrons.

“Not to say we don’t welcome the sharing of culture, but we are a very private people.” She shrugged, “Also, who wants to share with Orleasians?” Okay. That made Devon laugh.

“This is a nice night, right? No impromptu weddings, no world-ending crisis―or, I mean, there is a world-ending crisis happening, but that’s neither here nor there.” He rambled, before smiling. “No falling chandeliers.”

“Oh gods, don’t remind me of that.” Alphys said, “Before you know it we’ll be we’ll be waiting another three years and one more lost arm before we kiss again.”

“Funny, how life works that way.” Devon laughed.

Time passed by and a few more people stopped to ask are you the Inquisitor and are you the Hero of Fereldan and it was all getting a bit exhausting at this point. Devon just wanted to enjoy dinner with his girlfriend.

“Do you think it might be the veilfire? It’s drawing attention to us.” Alphys said dryly. Devon shrugged and put out the blue flame, quickly replacing it with regular fire. “Maybe now we can actually enjoy ourselves without strangers bringing up unsavory rumors.”

“Speak for yourself, Miss Inquisitor. My entire life is shrouded in unsavory rumor.” Devon quipped.

“Oh yes, there’s so much rumor surrounding the defender against the blight and slayer of the archdemon.” Alphys said.

“There is! You know, one of the most interesting conspiracy theories I’ve heard was that I’m was actually working with the archdemon. It’s a terrible theory, by all means. It’d be kind of hard to communicate with it, but still.” He said, “Oh, and there’s also the, ‘I actively killed it and will probably die young because of it’ thing, but you know.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been having an affair with the archdemon of all things.” Alphys said, her serious tone cracking just a bit. “At least cheat on me with another elf, Devon. Have you no shame?”

Devon needed a minute or two to recover from laughing so hard. During that time, the waitress came by again, leaning forward to place both of their drinks on the table, and Devon realized she didn’t have her hair tied back. And she was leaning over the candles.

“Ma’am.” Alphys began, but she was too late.

All this effort. All this time spent and banter used on this romantic evening, and here the waitress goes. Accidentally setting her hair on fire.

It was at this point, while she was panicking, that Devon started to reconsider setting up dates anywhere in Orlais, no matter how willing they were to lower the price of dinner for the Hero of Ferelden. Because things like this happen.

“Devon, I’m starting to get the feeling that we should go.” Alphys said, “I mean, we can put her out first. But let’s leave immediately after that.”

“Oh, of course. Most definitely.” Devon said. Unfortunately, his immediate thought was not that he was a mage and could snuff the fire out with magic, but instead to douse the waitress out with his drink.

Needless to say, the rumor that he set her on fire and then proceeded to throw his not-authentic Dalish spirits on her was pretty unsavory. And they didn’t even get to make it to the entree.

[galadrieljones]

Hello. As I've told u, I'm currently struggling a lot with my ongoing chapter. (Context : It's my first fic !) I was wondering whether you had some chapters of the dead season that you absolutely hated, and did you manage to come to terms with it eventually ? Luv u, xo

Hey Amburu!! (*^_^*) xoxo

First of all: Yes, yes, yes. Writing can feel like a struggle sometimes, especially when  just starting out. Part of this is because we just don’t always know what to expect out of our writing process yet, and so we’re often left wondering, “At what point will this start to feel right or finished?” It’s hard to trust ourselves, as writers, and this can be discouraging, but just like with any skill, we can’t get better unless we persevere. I like to think that writing improvement exists like a series of plateaus. It is not incremental. It’s like, you are on one plateau for a really long time, and then one day, you sort of hit critical mass. You’ve written so much, a pattern has struck. You’ve figured something out, even if it is not conscious, and suddenly, you’re just better. This process never ends.

Now, to your question: In terms of the writing process, it can take a long time and a lot of words to hit the point where you feel like you can actually trust your instincts. Or, at least it did for me. In fact, The Dead Season is my first project in which I feel like I’ve actually honed a writing process that works, and I have been writing fiction for a long, long time. Part of my writing process is experiencing a great deal of doubt, at some point in the week, as to whether or not the chapter is going to come together at all. This makes me anxious, as it would many of us, and certain chapters have made me more anxious than others. I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever hated any of my chapters themselves, but there are certainly chapters that have given me a lot of stress and self-doubt, and this is a feeling that I very much dislike.

For example, my early chapters, ie: about 1-7, feel super experimental and are very small. I’m not terribly happy with them by any stretch. But I have, over time, found small things that are working, and things that, in the long run, I actually like very much and would not change. For example, there are some rare, very strange and dark moments in the Fade, and we don’t actually go to the Fade all that often in TDS, so this is good. This is important. There are also some early seeds planted per Solas’s complex friendships with both Sera and Dorian, and Sene and Sera as well, plus Sene and Cole. These are big relationships that I was already investigating early on, and so while those chapters certainly aren’t perfect, I feel good about the fact that this has ALWAYS been a story about friendship, first and foremost, and that’s something I have not forgotten.

I’ve also accepted the fact that I was still new to the story back then and still feeling my way through and figuring out what was to come. So of course my early chapters weren’t going to be as careful and multi-layered as chapters that would come much later. This is a serial piece, which makes it feel, to me, a little like writing for TV, in terms of methodology. It took me a minute to figure out my formula, my process, my characters, but once I did, things started to take shape much more quickly and reliably.

Writing is hard, and it can be a struggle, but that is normal. The most important thing to remember, especially when writing more or less publicly, like for a fandom, is to not compare yourself and your writing to others and their writing. That is a toxic beast that we all fall prey to from time to time, but it will hamper your creativity more than anything. Also, and more practically, a lot of the time, when a chapter is causing problems, it might just be that you need to step back, locate the problem, and solve it in the quickest way possible so that you can move forward. Can’t get a transition to work? Then fuck it. Take the transition out and just put in a page break instead. Writing is sometimes just grunt work. It’s just problem-solving. Getting from point A to point B. The art we read on any brilliant page of any piece of writing we love takes many gruelling drafts to complete. It is a process. No writing comes out perfectly on the first try.

UNDER THE CUT: I go through some specific chapters in TDS that I really struggled with, mostly to give you some concrete perspective on the fact that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in your struggle to bring a chapter together. This is for anyone who’s interested!! (It was no bother and actually very productive!

Chapter 10: Hallelujah

I wrote that entire chapter while sitting on a bar stool at a cafe in my hometown in Wisconsin. I pulled a Patrick Weekes on this chapter, and it was hard, ie:  For all the Fade stuff with Sene and then Sene and Cole, I adapted the meter of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, hence the title. Looking back, it’s a little precious, per my aesthetic, but I’m glad I gave it a try and somehow made it work. It was just a blatant nod to Weekes and his brilliant writing in DA:I.

Chapter 21: It’s Raining in Val Royeaux, Chapter 22 & 23: Man of Faith, Pt. 1 & 2

These chapters were logistical nightmares. This was also my first go at using the stakes and politics of the world, plus a quest in the game, to really propel the plot AND Solas’s character forward. At first, what was so difficult, was navigating Josephine’s plan and introducing the “game” in a way that felt like it was informed by Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts without piggy-backing it completely. This would be an innocent affair. No murder, only sly quips and earning the favor of the Comte and Comtess Berrande. Plus, romance. Also, this whole thing was me building toward Solas’s diplomatic charm, which is HUGE per his history with Mythal, and then I just had to get to that scene with Blackwall like…I had been working toward that scene for weeks. So a lot was at stake. All told this was a LOT of writing, and I had a really bad head cold when I did it, and I was very very worried about these chapters for a LONG time. I still have not gone back to read them. I assume they’re okay?? Lol.

Chapter 25: The Mother We Share

This is the purple chapter, and I still think there is probably TOO MUCH purple and TOO MUCH mother imagery dumped in. This chapter took me FOREVER and was the moment I realized Solas had become too soft, and that he needed a shove in the other direction. So I had to introduce Abelas, and also, at this point, my stuff with Mythal/Flemeth disassociating began to take shape. Bleh. Thinking about this chapter feels like wading in molasses sometimes.

Chapter 30: Dust of My Dust

This chapter was hard, because it was transitional. I had to get us OUT of Crestwood, and Sene and Solas were in two different places, which had never happened before. Sometimes it is SO HARD to just get from one scene to the next. And so in the end, to save myself more pain, I ended up just splitting the chapter up into a couple separate sections and skipping the transition altogether. This was so useful that I ended up using the section format in multiple future chapters and will most certainly do it again. Half of writing is just problem-solving, it turns out.

Chapter 34: The Elves are Asleep

This is the chapter that comes after Sene learns the truth about Solas as an ancient elf, which comes right after he finally tells her about the miscarriage. This chapter was VERY hard, as it starts in the Fade, and then they come back hard to reality. Huge tone shift. Dorian is there, etc. I’m still a little unhappy with this chapter, especially the ending. It was difficult to find the thesis, ie: what is the ultimate goal? I knew it had to be something with Sene’s character, as this is when her flaws and fears truly start to take shape, but I just couldn’t get a grip on the ending. I probably wrote 14 different endings until I finally figured out what her state of mind needed to be and even still, I’m a little unsure, because I just couldn’t mess around with it anymore. I was going nuts. So I just published it and moved on. Moveon.org. Sometimes you just gotta. Bleh. Oh well.

Chapter 36: Hey, Morrigan. Spin me a tale.

THIS CHAPTER KILLED ME. Lol. Looking back, I am actually very pleased with it, but at the time, it was so much that I had to delay publishing, because I just could not get it right. In the end, it just ended up being a series of impressionistic, almost paratactic scenes, all with very oblique titles. Again, problem-solving. Though I love writing like this. It’s totally my wheelhouse. But to earn this kind of thing, I knew I needed to establish a really strong thematic drawstring to unite all the pieces. I had like thirty metaphors going at once with the knitting and the gloves and the hands, and then creating that sense of confusion in the end, between what Solas is experiencing NOW and what he is remembering–that was really fucking hard. This chapter took me two weeks to draft, and I remember publishing it at 2am and then dragging myself to bed like TIS FINALLY COMPLETE.

Chapter 38: Assassins

This chapter was another logistical nightmare. I don’t typically write a ton of consecutive, immediately chronological scenes, or scenes where the tension completely shifts based on real-time action. But in this chapter, I had to locate Sene’s state of mind with Mythal, coordinate the accidental reveal of Solas’s identity, then cue the assassins, trigger Sene’s response, locate Mythal’s state of mind, and then get everyone down to the brig. FFFFFF. Like this is NOT my strength as a writer, and so this chapter was a huge challenge and I feel like I actually learned a lot. Also, I remember I initially wrote past the ending of this chapter by like 2500 words, only later to realize I needed to save all that for later. So yeah. :deep breath: This chapter, in my mind, feels full of sharp knives.

@thevikingwoman, per your interests.

[lostinafictionaluniverse]

Riverdale 1x12 thoughts

It took days for me to finish this, I wondered if I would in time, so I rushed it somewhat towards the end. Under the cut, so as not to clutter up your dash

So the episode of the big reveal finally! It did feel deflating to me, so many of the theories I’d read (and come up with) seemed more shocking and chilling than this.

But moving on -

When Archie and Ronnie first tell Betty about not finding the gun in FPs trailer, she’s not so quick to believe them. Perhaps she’s afraid to hope? Just like Juggie? Eventually she comes around. It’s telling how Archie is the only one who wants to go to their parents with this piece of information. It speaks volumes about the trust he shares with Fred. The other two are reluctant and understandably so. I wonder if that trust between Archie and Fred will take a beating in the finale? With some of Fred’s secrets revealed?

Anyway, the adults react predictably. Fred nodding at what Mary was saying before she even got to her point was hilarious.

Betty and Archie deciding to go together to look for their best friend/ boyfriend was a sweet throwback to the pilot and them being BFFs and constantly texting each other. I like Archie much better when he’s being a friend than a boyfriend.

The scene at the bus-stop was a heart-breaker. Gladys, idk what your reasons are, but when your boy calls you in the middle of the night saying in that broken voice that he wants to come visit, you fucking let him! Idk how long it’s been since Gladys left FP and Juggie left home though. It must’ve been a while since he saw them? Did he never used to visit his grandparents when he was younger? What really went down when Gladys left FP? What made Juggie decide to stay? His love for Riverdale? Or his faith in his dad? I really need these answers. To think Juggie wanted so badly to get away he was willing to take the first bus to anyplace without a plan to what he would do when he gets there.  This seems like he was escaping. But Juggie doesn’t run away from his problems. I think he just went through some moments of extreme despair when he felt like the whole world was against him and he didn’t want to be around anyone who was familiar with his situation. Common sense still prevailed though and he headed off to Pop’s when the lobby closed. Juggie is nothing if not clear headed, even in a desperate moment.

Archie puts two and two together and decides Juggie wanted to go to Ohio. Betty totally understands his actions – the only friends he has completely betrayed him. Archie, you better admit you fucked your friend over! He doesn’t really own up to his actions, does he? Even when they find him, it’s Betty who says sorry. He just says - We all screwed up (Betty wasn’t part of it though!) and then immediately that something good came of it. Like it didn’t matter what they did, because they were gonna save FP. I get his intentions were pure, to protect Jughead, but that doesn’t make what he did okay. That’s the difference between intent and impact I guess.

Now we come to FP’s story and I’m pretty conflicted about how much of it is true. First, if Jason was so against his dad’s drug dealing business and that’s the reason he decided to run away, it seems pretty weird to me that he would seek out FP and agree to deal the very thing he’d ditched his family for. I know it was a one off job, he needed the cash to set up him and Polly, but still weird. So was FP lying to Keller? Did Jason actually approach him to seek his help to expose his dad? And were the drugs actually Cliff’s that he was going to drive upstate to a higher authority (everyone knows the Blossoms had Keller in their pocket)? Also why would Jason tell FP his entire plan about Cheryl rowing him across the river and him pretending to be dead unless he trusted him a little? And Jason would’ve trusted FP if he thought they were on the same side.  

FP confessed to stealing the files which we know Hal did. What if he lied about everything else too? Sidenote: I do think all the scenes we were shown in flashback were actually what happened. FP torching the car, FP stashing the body in the freezer – the last one was corroborated by Joaquin as well, so FP is definitely an accomplice if nothing else, and hiding felony is obstruction of justice. I really want to know that all those FB scenes were what actually happened though. Still doesn’t prove he wasn’t helping Jason expose his dad though, we didn’t hear that conversation between him and Jason, because we never get to hear Jason talk.

Polly suspected Cliff from the beginning, did Jason hint at something to her? Did he say he wanted them to run off together because his family was against them being together, same as hers? Or did he hint there was something more sinister in the offing. Seriously though, how could Hal and Alice put Polly through all that just because they were third cousins? And Alice didn’t even know! So she was going along with Hal’s plan just because of personal vendetta? How petty could you get Alice? Lying to Betty, lying to Polly, keeping her trapped in that place, not letting Betty visit her – so extreme!

Keller letting Cliff meet and be alone with FP? What police officer does that? Of course this means the Blossoms have him firmly under their thumb.

OMG- why is Ronnie so convinced that Hiram had something to do with this? She thinks he hired someone else to plant the gun now? Archie and Ronnie holding hands under the table was sweet, but why are they still keeping their relationship a secret? Possibly because it’s not the right time for it I guess. Still it was a supportive Archie moment and that’s always good.

I didn’t realize Kevin was so high on morality quotient, Juggie is at the station being grilled by Keller AGAIN??? I mean once was bad enough, how does Keller get away with talking to minors without an adult present? And Kevin thinks that’s okay? Really? And then when Betty brings up Joaquin, he’s immediately all – don’t bring my boyfriend into this! He knows Joaquin is a Serpent and that Serpents do shady things and he won’t even consider that he may be involved? But he’s so ready to believe in FPs guilt. I love how Betty doesn’t even care that FP confessed, she’s just convinced there’s more to it than that. I love determined, badass Betty!

Juggie walks in to apologize to Cheryl and oh my God, it takes so much fucking courage to do this? In front of the whole crowd? I think he kinda anticipated her reaction, he feels shitty about what his dad did so he’s taking the beating in place of FP.  Juggie taking responsibility for FP when FP never did for him is all kinds of fucked up. He doesn’t owe FP shit. He doesn’t owe Cheryl shit. Yet he apologized. His voice broke me. This boy is such a fucking gem.

Betty meeting Cheryl at the lockers was her explaining Juggie, but also being understanding of what Cheryl was going through, and Betty is so good to do this.  Cheryl was in grief yes, but saying barely touched him? Juggie had a cut on his lip! Archie is so useless at defending Juggie but at least he tried. Don’t know who’s a bigger dick – Weatherbee or Keller. I get why Juggie is so upset and why he isn’t in the mood to believe in his dad’s innocence. He’s not in a great place. He’s been asked all kind of probing questions by unsympathetic dickheads and just been pummelled by Cheryl for being her brother’s murderer’s son. Plus he hasn’t slept all night. He must be such a mess and unable to think rationally. He’s angry -of course he is -and tired, who can blame him for venting it out on his dad? But that line- I’ve been waiting my whole life for that man to do the right thing- broke me. And made me angry at FP all over again for putting Juggie through that emotional rollercoaster.

Weatherbee is a dick – concerned for Jughead’s safety my ass, immediately after he’s worried about other students reaction to it. Archie was defending his bro, and I loved it. Fred was looking out for Archie and that is his job as a dad, but couldn’t he see that Jughead isn’t to blame for his dad’s actions? Okay, becoming his guardian was a bit much and Archie was pushing, but Fred’s – trouble seem to follow the Joneses” was unnecessarily harsh. Not done. Fred! That look Archie gave him when Juggie said he’s sleep in the garage said it all!

Okay, so now onto the big reveal Coopers = Blossoms, I have just this to say, I don’t know why this is such a big deal and Hal, why couldn’t you just tell Polly if you thought it was??? The Coopers immediately think the Blossoms would be even more deranged than Hal when it came to third cousins dating but it actually wasn’t the case? OMG that scene was so OTT and hilarious and so Riverdale! Alice and her witching references and Dr Moreau experimentation and Penelope’s utterly cracked line about nothing being more purely Blossom than those babies. I swear I was Polly in that scene, her face was my face! And Hal going – what is wrong with you people! And Penelope with her crazy eyes! OMG- such drama! Juggie would’ve loved to witness it! Sidenote: Cheryl looked truly heartbroken that Polly left – remember her immediately holding Polly saying she’s not going anywhere? Madelaine killed it in every scene this episode. She brings out Cheryl’s conflict so well.

Mary tells them that FPs one phone call was to Joaquin. Juggie’s quip even in the most despondent of times – at least he’s honest murderer - that’s his armour, to hide his pain, by making those sardonic quips. My heart hurts

And in the next scene it literally ached. Skeet and Cole killed it. Oh god, the pain in FPs eyes when Juggie was recounting his feelings. And the hurt in Juggie’s voice when he talked about how his hopes came crashing down!

-          You paid attention to me

-          I was so happy for the first time in so long

And then FP with the Never come back here and Juggie turning around to look at him for the longest time. My God I was shook. They have the most intense chemistry, so much was flowing between them in that scene without exchanging a single word. And then – Got it. It was like some secret father-son code exchange that happened, that we were privy to, but didn’t understand until later when Juggie called Betty to tell her he knew his dad was hiding something.

So I’m assuming this part of FPs story is true because it’s being told by Joaquin as well. Obstruction of justice is an offence, though I’m not sure perjury counts because he wasn’t actually lying under oath.

I assume that shot of FP reaching something with a cloth in his hand is actually him covering the camera? The same one that recorded Cliff shooting Jason?

Kevin being all shocked at Joaquin and calling him a criminal- I was like, dude- ��did you not know who you were dating? He’s a Serpent for Chrissake!

Ronnie now begins to annoy me with her obsession with her dad being in the middle of everything. Why?

Okay when Juggie calls Betty from I assume the station his eyes follow a man in a hat who’s walking away with something (a file?) under his arm. Is this supposed to be significant?

So Mustang is dead. Was it an overdose or did Cliff kill him? Because he was blackmailing him? Also the bag they found was similar to the one Hermione gave to the Mayor. So how did it come to be with Mustang? Is she mixed up in this too?

Is Archie actually crying when Fred tells him in the car that he’s trying to protect him and doing his job bcos it’s the only one that counts?

I maybe dim but what happened that made Hermione break down like that? Was she surprised the bag was found next to a murdered man? Did she think Hiram was responsible for killing Mustang? Or Jason? Or both? Or was she just worried for Ronnie and what her snooping is leading to? Is she just now realizing what a dangerous man she’s married to?

Now this is what I mean by deus ex machinas in this episode, just conevenient little coincidences that happen and just everything leads neatly to the murderer? Like Joaquin suddenly deciding to tell Kevin about the bag he’d stashed away? Or that FP had a recording of the murder that he saved on a USB? Or that Betty had a brainwave that told her something was missing? – okay maybe that last one was logical reasoning because why would a jacket be so precious that he had to hide it away? Still, the whole lead up to the reveal felt pretty – unsatisfactory?

Okay, Betty says who’s he protecting and the shot shifts to Penelope. I must admit for a moment I thought it might be her. But really she knew too much about her husband and the things he was doing, the fact that Jason didn’t want any of it and that he threw the ring on their face. How could she not suspect Cliff even a little? Or was she afraid to? Like Cheryl? Who knew something was off and FP was not the real killer? She knew about the drug business. She knew Jason couldn’t stomach it. She knew Cliff was upset about it. I see where Cheryl gets her extra –ness from, Penelope is just too dramatic. She dragged Cheryl right to the barn, and then said – drown in it, why don’t you? Does she really think its syrup? Does she not know the truth?

Okay they ruled out Hal and Hermione, but not Hiram? He was in prison, no? Or they believe he orchestrated it through someone like Ronnie does? He couldn’t have actually held the gun that killed Jason.

I know what you’re going to say, mom

They found another body

Okay, maybe not that – lol

Sheriff Clueless – lmao. But Alice doesn’t think they’ve got the right person? She was all aboard the FP is guilty train and suddenly she thinks the bow is too tidy?

What was FPs contingency plan with Joaquin? Did he also tell him to flee Riverdale if he got arrested? Déjà vu – the exact same spot the car was! And the same place they found the jacket before! That got me thinking - who put the car there? Was it Jason or FP? If FP knew where the car was why didn’t he torch it before? Was he following Bughead hoping they’d lead him to the car? How did he know they would? Arrggh so many questions!

Ahh Ronnie is convinced it was her dad too, but she seems much too calm dealing with that realization. I love how Betty takes one look at Juggie’s dejected face and immediately her Nancy Drew senses begin to tingle. Girl wants so bad to help her bae!

I still don’t get why Archie had to wear the jacket for Betty to look into the pockets but it was worth it to see befuddled Archie standing there like a mannequin while Betty got her sleuth on. Voila – there’s the USD aaannnnndd very conveniently, the murder all taped and saved in HD quality mp4 - okay maybe not, but you get what I mean!

Cheryl was so eerily calm when she got Betty’s call, like she almost expected it.  I noticed that Archie actually covered his mouth when they showed us the kids reacting to the video the second time round. Did they film that twice?

Okay so when is later? When did they learn why FP confessed – to protect Jughead? Did he come right out and say it? Did he tell Juggie or Keller? Of all the charges Keller was stating off the top of his head, perjury doesn’t really quality, he wasn’t under oath, was he?

I love fierce and passionate Juggie, took me back to when he was arguing his case with the Mayor about the drive-in. Archie wanting to stay because his friends need him was so heartwarming. This is the Archie Andrews I want to see, not the selfish, needy fuckboy we’ve been shown thus far.

I found Penelope and Cheryl creepily directing the Sheriff to the barn so weird and so suggestive of foul play. Almost as though they knew what happened bcos they made it happen. Whydonit will be in the next episode, but really , the reveal was so underwhelming for me (mostly because of that Madelaine spoiler that Cheryl would be ruined) that it felt like a cop-out. They went with the safest choice. No one will miss Cliff Blossom, his being the killer or being dead isn’t going to impact anyone except Cheryl  and perhaps Penelope, and that feels a bit hollow somehow. Too tidy, as Alice would say. The reason why he did it seems pretty straightforward too – Jason wouldn’t cooperate and maybe he threatened to expose his dad, so he had to be killed, Unless they surprise us with another quite different reason. I somehow don’t think so.