#it's really really sad to me we didn't move before birth because if we were there right now I'd be learning newborn care 101 from

[etirabys]

pretty wild highs & lows since childbirth. renovations still ongoing at a distance with move date uncertain; live-in postpartum care worker my parents dubcon-gifted us who's hard to communicate with (language barrier) and is doing unsafe-seeming food practices; family stuff both sides; health issues from a complicated labor. there's also the actual baby, but right now she's noticeably less difficult than the interpersonal stuff. I'm sobbing multiple times daily from stress

"would I rather be bored" – ah well... er... no. (sheepishly) I like stress

I always regretted not doing the silicon valley startup grind in my twenties when I had energy, and this feels kind of similar. except all the problems are stupid and don't make me money

nonetheless, they are problems, which I seem to adore having

[letmerideitchris]

𐬺𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑𐬺

summary: Chris Matt and Nick get a new videographer, she is funny, smart and pretty, basically everything Chris could ever want in a girl. Chris finds it impossible not to fall for her…

Warnings: pregnancy(?)

wc: 705

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

Chris is still sitting on the couch; his stomach and head was in too much pain to move to his bed. Chris looked more pale than usual, which made complete sense now that he is going to be a dad, he had only just turned 21. Matt is sitting on the other end of the couch in case Chris needs his company. Not a word has been spoken out of any of their mouths since nick went to go get y/n, it's been 2 hours, and they still haven't come back to the house. Matt turns his head to Chris to see if he's shut his eyes, he hasn't, matt doesn't even think he's seen him blink. As more time passes, Chris is creating more and more problems in his head, only the most negative things are passing through. I don't know how much more he can take before he literally explodes. Chris finally shut his eyes, suddenly they opened back wider than they've been this whole time. He jumps up. Matt and him both lock eyes. Keys are screwing into the door. Chris doesn't know if he should be scared of what nick is going to say or scared that he has brought her back to the house.  

Chris' heart drops as he hears two sets of shoes coming up the stairs. He sees nicks head peer over the wall near the staircase, he didn't come alone. There she is, right by nick, makeup smudged, terrible posture, and still crying. “Chris please can you go down to your room, y/n needs to rest on the couch” nick says with evident stress. No words leave Chris's mouth, he sits up and stretches the pain out his stomach then stands up on his unstable legs, y/n and Nick are still paused on the stairs, before Chris walks downstairs he approaches y/n, exchanges the slightest smile, then continues to walk down to his room.  

Chris is in his bed, and all of a sudden doesn't feel so sad after smiling at y/n, it was a sense of relief, that maybe this could work out. He can finally get some sleep that he will need because he knows that it is going to be a big day tomorrow. He is going to have to speak to y/n at some point, in the end she is carrying his child. Three knocks from the door wake Chris up, “uhh who is it”, y/n peeps her head from behind the door “hi, it's just me, could I maybe come in?” He's in such a state that he can't even produce any words, so he just nods and waves her in. He sits up and brushes his fingers through his hair, she takes a seat on the end of the bed. “Chris I'm sorry I ran out like that it wasn't fair by me; it just didn't seem like you were going to stick by me through the whole pregnancy thi-” “why would you think that? I know I may not be ready and prepared to be a dad, but I know youre probably not ready to be a mum, so how would it be fair for me to leave you in the dirt like that?” Chris says shuffling closer to y/n. “Chris, you don't realize how comforting that is to hear.” Y/n says feeling like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. “I really want things to work out between us, and I know we haven't known each other for that long but since I have decided to keep the baby, I think it is important for us to get to know each other a bit more before heading into a serious relationship.” Chris gently takes y/n’s hand in his own and looks into her eyes “I couldn't agree more”. Chris leans in her direction and she quickly melts into his embrace, like she had been waiting for his comfort for an eternity. “Thank you, Chris, really”  

Chris and y/n took the next few months leading up to the birth of baby Saylor slowly, Chris decided to propose to y/n 5 months after Saylor was conceived. They're now living a happy life in Boston not far from Chris’s parents' house. 

sorry for how long this took for me to release!! but hope you enjoy our conclusion to the videographer fiction, thanks for all the love 😘💕

credits to @bernardsbendystraws for dividers

taglist:

@chrissturnsss @sophand4n4 @chrispycremedonut

@clairesrose @sturnsmad @riggysworld

@victoryouactuallydidthis @itasmallworld

@trevorsgodmother @sturnobsessedwh0re @sturninsworld

@mattsturnioloshands @sweetshuga @madisturni

@sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan

[reveluving]

the bump in the night ; rick flag x reader

summary: someone made Mrs Flag cry, and her family is not having it.

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, shadow-magic f!reader, reverse comfort & humour!

a/n: this AU is based on this piece I made a while back, 'cause you already know I can't do this special without hubby Rick and the kids! hope you enjoy it & don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» wanna know what I have in store this fall? come & check out my m.list for 'reve's quirky reverie 🕷️'!

'For now, they had a plan, hoping it could bring a smile to your face.' ;

Coming home to his daughter's hugs had become an everyday thing if Rick didn't have to work overtime, but if the flicker of sadness in her eyes was anything to go by, something had to have happened while he was away.

“Mrs Bedford was saying bad stuff to mama while we were at the park.” 

It was the same thing she told her brothers when they got home from school, and just like them, it was enough for Rick to get the whole picture.

Ah, Mrs Bedford. Or as the neighbourhood youngsters, children and teenagers alike, like to call her 'the modern witch of the road', and not in the cool way. Her husband was no better, always bugging you at any given opportunity. The worst part was Mrs Bedford always antagonized you for it, even if she knew you didn’t entertain her husband’s behaviour. It was also extremely hypocritical of her, considering she herself has tried to make her move on Rick. A lot. Only to be met with disappointment each time. 

Her children were just as bad, too, to put it lightly.

“What did she say?” It was the green light Irene needed before she explained what had happened to a T, courtesy of her father’s eagle eye. Unlike most days, it was just you and Irene visiting the park since your sons had football practice. 

The two of you were feeding the ducks when Mrs Bedford came up to you.

“You on your own?” Was the first thing she asked you before you questionably said ‘yes’, despite Irene being there too, and the little girl realized Mrs Bedford wouldn’t have gone off on a tangent about you and your ‘possibly tainted history’ if her father or brothers were around in the first place.

“I don’t know what you did but I can see it in your eyes, Flag. You’re no saint. You can fool the others with your little flower shop and your so-called angelic kids, but not me.”

Though Mrs Bedford knew nothing about your powers or your time in Belle Reve, instead, spewing hate out of jealousy and hatred for you for being the favourable neighbour, she wasn’t completely wrong. You have hurt people, you’ve even killed some, but they were for the greater good. Since your freedom from hell on earth, you’ve barely used your umbrakineses. It wasn’t until the birth of your children, to which all three of them gained your abilities did you realized you couldn’t run from who you really were—it wasn’t right nor fair to them.

Then, telling them your story as a criminal and how their dad was once your enemy was another thing. You weren’t sure what reaction you were expecting, but it was certainly not amazement and sparkles in their eyes. As they grew older, they began to make sense of how their parents somehow knew people like Aunt Harley, Uncle Robert and hell, even Nanaue.

And at that point in time, Mrs Bedford reminded you of Waller, turning you into submission as you could do nothing but listen to her make a mockery out of you for turning over a new leaf. Irene had to watch your face drop as the woman insulted you, and she knew she had to tell her family about it. 

Irene insisted that she was fine about heading home early, even if you tried to convince her otherwise. She wanted nothing more than to do something about that glazed look in your eyes.

As soon as you stepped foot into the living room, a tear rolled down your cheek. You couldn't help but apologize to her, to everyone if they were with you then. You weren’t entirely sure if it was because you seemed weak over a bunch of words or their fate of ending up with you as the wife and a mother of their family.

Irene shook her head, hugging you with her face in your tummy.

"You're not a mean person, mama. You're the nicest and coolest mama we could ever ask for, and we love you." 

It was simple, something you've heard of thousands of times in your lifetime, but you very much needed it today.

Ever the sweet girl, she accompanied you as you lay in your bed, telling you random stories about what she painted during art class or what she ate at lunch, anything but the time Mrs Bedford’s son, Kyle pushed her off the swing while his older brother, Blake laughed and praised him for doing so. You didn’t need to know that. 

Not yet.

You listened with a warm smile, embarrassed but nonetheless thankful for how observant she was of your feelings before eventually dozing off. 

Irene was careful yet quick to jump off the bed, running downstairs to shush Richie and Ethan as they returned home. 

The more she explained, the brighter their eyes unnaturally glowed. Richie was starting to look like their father as he crossed his arms, listening to her like a police officer, while Ethan seemed like he was already thinking of ways to counter the Bedford’s undignified acts.

Basically, the Bedfords were not the greatest people. Each and every one of them. 

Though they had a myriad of ideas, they weren’t sure how much their father would appreciate it, even if it was for your sake. Still, they thanked Irene for being there for you, promising that something would be done, no matter what it would be.

For now, they had a plan, hoping it could bring a smile to your face.

After an unexpected nap, you came down to find your kids huddled on the couch, whispering and hushing each other. Curious, you approached them.

Ethan was the first to notice you, offering you a grin before showing you what was in their hands, “Look, ma, I think we got it.” 

You leaned in to take a closer look, only for your breath to hitch at the sight of life on their palms. There, they showed you the differing mass of shadows they conjured, a tougher one you just taught them about a week ago. You have always loved this trick as a kid, and it only aided your sanity when you were by your lonesome in the penitentiary. In a way, you were replacing what life truly was by making your own, even if they were temporary because there was no telling when or if you’d ever be free. 

Yet, here they were, prompting joy and pride as they held the wispy animals of their choice; Richie with what seemed to be an adorable little puppy, Ethan creatively emulated a bioluminescent jellyfish and Irene…

Oh, Irene.

She scarcely remembered how much you loved making her laugh by conjuring butterflies when she was still very little if not for the twins confirming it. 

The butterfly was as small as her hand, but the wings were majestic, idly flapping before flying over to you, leaving cloudy black trails and landing on your outstretched finger. 

You stared at their creations ever so lovingly, already on the brink of tears. You were just as mad at yourself for doubting your worth, and your potential, just because of the things you had to do in the past, for the sake of the person you were now.

You embraced Irene in a tight hug before pulling your boys in as well. You sniffled, absolutely joyous and blessed to be surrounded by the most loving people. Nothing could deter you from this, not even as the shadow puppy yipped and chased the jellyfish and butterfly in excitement. Your cat, Tofu, must’ve heard the commotion, too, as she came from the kitchen to check, only to be frightened and jump on the couch with you as the puppy came running to her.

Rick finally arrived about two hours later, coming home to hear laughter before he saw Irene running across the room, followed by Tofu and the shadow puppy in tow. The jellyfish laid on Richie’s head like a nest whereas the butterfly decided to make Ethan’s shoulder its home as they hung out with you on the couch.

“Daddy!” Irene greeted him before running over to him. He didn’t question the questioning look she gave him just yet and instead, hoisted her up, laughing as Tofu and the puppy pawed at his bootlaces.

“What’s going on here?” He raised his brows, amused by what could be described as a fever dream of a sight.

“The kids learnt how to make little lives.” You giggled, allowing Rick to sit next to you as you scooted over.

“And I got a new hat,” Richie gestured to the jellyfish, who he has now dubbed as Jelly. As if it understood, Jelly immediately floated away, leaving Richie’s hair flattened, “Never mind.”

You shared a laugh as he deadpanned before you turned to Rick, “Was work okay?”

“Yeah, the usual. Decorated the place today, actually.” He took his phone out of his pocket, opening his gallery and showing you and the kids the spookily tacky decor that furnished his workplace.

“Did you really paint ‘dead inside, don’t open’ on the entrance door?” The twins gawked.

“Fitting, ain't it?” Rick joked, prompting smiles and chuckles from you once more before falling back on the couch, “But at least I’m off tomorrow, so I was thinking we could eat out for dinner.”

“Oh! We should head to Pop’s since they’re also offering their apple betty.” Ethan suggested.

“Well, I think that’s a good idea, so,” Richie trailed off, raising anticipation from the rest of you before jumping off the couch and running up the stairs. Ethan and Irene simultaneously gasped before the former took his sister out of Rick’s arms to chase their brother together. You and Rick could only watch with delight as Tofu and the shadow creatures followed them too.

“Everything okay?” He wanted to know, but he wouldn’t pry if you weren’t ready to tell him.

“Yeah,” You nodded, gazing down for a moment before continuing, “Something happened earlier but…”

“Richie! You better not lock the door or I swear to God!” Ethan’s voice rang out from upstairs, followed by Irene’s ‘language!’, and you couldn’t help but shake your head in amusement. 

“It’s all good now.” You reassured him. You knew you could’ve told him, but it wasn’t worth dwelling on. You had children to nurture and a husband to take on the world with.

“The Bedfords?” He guessed. If it wasn’t them, then it had to be Mr Walker.

“The Bedfords,” You confirmed with a tight smile, “I’m just more upset that Irene was there to hear it.”

You didn’t explain any further and Rick took it as a sign to drop it. If they were able to make you this upset, then it was best to ask the kids instead. 

“I’m sorry,” He pulled you to his chest, planting a slow and gentle kiss on your forehead. He rubbed your back, sighing at the very mention of that family. Rick loathed that they were influential enough to be one of the higher-ups of the school’s PTA, though he was confident that money was involved in it too. He hated that they were reasons why you’d come home ranting about how Mrs Bedford bugged you again, or when he had to make sure Mr Bedford knew he was making a promise and not an empty threat whenever it involved their kids and his, "You know I can talk to them." 

It would do no good, but it was worth trying. 

"No, you know how the Bedfords are. Don’t worry, okay? Not now,” You kissed the inside of his palm before pressing your lips against his, soft, sensual and safe. Rick moved forward, deepening the kiss as held the nape of your neck. You pulled away but not before nuzzling his nose, “We should be celebrating.”

He nodded, though he knew it would only linger in his mind for a while. Still, he adhered to your wishes, standing up before offering you his hand to get ready, “Right, right. Shall we?”

You snorted, placing your hand in his the way a princess would when a prince asks for a dance. Unexpectedly, he twirled you around, wrapping his arms around you he pulled you in, chest to chest. You playfully smacked him, though it did very little to wipe off the pleased look on his face as the two of you headed to your room. 

You and the boys were the first to head out to the front yard, chatting and evaluating the decors of the houses while waiting for Rick and Irene. 

“What happened today?” He asked his daughter quietly as they stood at the front door, helping with her shoes while she slid on a jacket. 

“Mrs Bedford was saying bad stuff to mama while we were at the park.” She whispered back, swinging her arms as she watched her father tie her shoelace, “Like, really mean stuff. No one was around except us so she was kinda loud, too.”

Rick fumed, clenching his jaw as he could already hear and picture whatever nonsense she loved to spit out. 

“Mama got kinda quiet when we came home, and then she started crying. About how she’s sorry she was a criminal and how we’re ‘stuck’ with her powers.” She added. If anything, she and the boys thought your abilities were the coolest thing to have ever happened to them. 

He shook his head—who wouldn't crack after being subjected to their ways for so long? He hummed, hiding the seething resentment by ruffling Irene's hair.

"Can you help me distract your mother while I talk to the boys for a bit?" She nodded diligently, skipping over to you before Rick called out to his sons, "Need some help, boys." 

They rushed over, glancing at you before Ethan spoke up first, "She told you?" 

"Yeah." Rick replied as he locked the door.

"Can't we do something about it?" Richie asked with a frown.

"You boys are not punching Blake again." Rick reminded them with a small smile. 

"You didn't seem to mind it," Ethan mirrored his father's amusement, "He was yelling at our teammate and encouraged his troll brother to push Irene off a swing." 

"I'm mad, too," Rick was more than mad, but he couldn't let his emotions run wild, "Look, we'll think of something, alright? For now, just make sure she's happy." 

That's all they ever wanted.

The drive to Pop's was a lively one, and so was the dinner itself. Though you knew you'd be thinking about Mrs Bedford's words every once in a while, the smiles and laughter of your family were already a welcoming distraction as it is. 

Midnight rolled around, and everyone had returned to their rooms with sore cheeks and a full stomach. You were the first to slip under the covers after a shower, hoping you wouldn't be too tired as you waited for Rick, though it didn't work.

By the time Rick got out of the bathroom, you were peacefully asleep, your face just a breath away from your husband's pillow as his scent soothed you like no other. 

Rick smiled to himself, changing into his PJs before sitting on your side of the bed. The dip roused you from your slumber just a little.

"Rick?" You murmured, fluttering your lashes tiredly.

"Forgot to get some water," He caressed your cheek before bending down to kiss it, "I'll be back." 

You mustered a closed-eye smile and before you knew it, you drifted off once again, lulled by the way he patted your back.

Once the coast was clear, he moved off the bed, silently slipping out and closing the door before heading over to the twins' room. He knocked on the door, just enough for them to hear before doing the same with Irene's door and headed downstairs.

Rick sat down at the dining table with a glass of cold water, arms crossed and lost in his own thoughts before hearing light footsteps approaching.

Richie, Ethan and Irene carefully pulled their chairs back before taking a seat, and just like that, the discussion began.

But it didn't seem like they were getting anywhere and at some point, they just started shit-talking.

"Man, I wish coach would just kick Blake out." Ethan groaned, his head falling back. 

"Tell me about it. He's shit at quarterback." Richie clicked his tongue.

"Boys." Rick warned them, partially because his youngest was listening.

"Sorry." They apologized but Irene didn't seem to mind.

"How about…" She chimed in, tapping her finger on her chin, "We scare them?" 

"Like…?" Richie cocked his head, hoping she'd say more than just that.

"I don't know, I just thought it'd be cool since it's Halloween and stuff. And, well, maybe we could use our powers, but I know mama and daddy wouldn't want that." She shrugged, pouting because she hadn't thought it far enough.

"It would be a miracle to scare them without using our powers in the first place," Richie sighed, looking over to his father, "What do you think, dad?" 

No reply.

"Dad?" Ethan followed suit as the three of them raised their brows.

“How far are you in your shadow puppet practice?” Rick asked out of the blue, staring ahead as though imagining whatever idea he had played out. 

“Uh, pretty far, I think? Ma taught us how to merge our shadows into one if we wanted to make a bigger animal.” Richie answered, earning affirmative nods from his siblings. 

“How big?” 

“Like, this big!” Irene opened her arms wide to let him know just how big of a monster they would be able to make if they wanted to. They haven’t, there was no reason to, but the more their father asked, the more it piqued their interest.

Rick thought it through for a moment. It has been a while since he has seen you make that one particular lifeform, but it was worth a shot. If it were able to render Waller speechless, then it’ll definitely make the Bedfords piss their pants. 

No actual attacks, and definitely no killings. But he’ll make sure they shudder at the mere thought of Halloween. Put the fear of God in them. They had it coming, too, stomping on other neighbours’ happiness for years just for the fun of it. 

He just had to play it safe. 

He slowly broke into a sinister smile.

“You three ever heard of a hellhound?”

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

» a/n: ahh hubby rick <3 ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[dyns33]

Down the Pit

I think I'll do a little Bane x reader series, because Bane is doing things to my brain lately.

Y/N is female, orphan, and from Gotham, because even if I'm not sure to put Batman in the story, I need some references.

Y/N regretted going to India.

The few people she had told about her trip had warned her. It wasn't always a good idea to go alone. But she was young, she had just finished high school, and she had always been alone since her parents died.

The first days went very well, and then it was hell.

Y/N didn't really understand how things had happened, but she had been wrongly accused of a crime, a serious crime, after having all of her things stolen.

Without her papers or her phone, not knowing who to call, she had not been able to ask for help, she had not been able to defend herself, and once she had been found guilty, she had been sent to a prison. But not an ordinary prison.

The Pit seemed bottomless when they took her away. The moon barely shone, not allowing her to see where exactly she was. It was difficult to catch the rope.

She cried and begged, but the guards didn't care, ordering her to be quiet.

Luckily for her, Y/N obeyed, going downstairs in silence. The other inmates were sleeping, not seeing her arrive, the night hiding her arrival.

A man who introduced himself as a doctor greeted her. He seemed surprised and sad to see a woman here, taking her hand to quickly lead her to a cell.

“We have to hide this.” He said giving her some loose clothing, his eyes fixed on her chest, before giving her an old knife while looking at her hair. “And we have to cut it.”

"You don't understand… I have nothing to do here, I'm innocent…"

"Cut. Cut, now, if you don't want them to take you."

There were no other women in the Pit. Obviously it was rare that they were sent there, and they did not survive long. Y/N's main crime was being a foreigner, young and stupid, whose fate didn't matter to anyone.

The doctor was kind enough to let her hide in his cell, but it was not a viable solution. The other prisoners were curious, and there was the problem of food. The old man wasn't strong enough to go to the middle of the prison and fight for some water and something to eat.

He could have swapped Y/N, but there was still some humanity left at the bottom of the Pit. The doctor spoke with another prisoner. A big guy who occupied the next cell. He had tied up some ratty sheets so no one could observe him and he only went out when necessary.

Speaking in a language she didn't understand, the doctor pointed at her. The tall prisoner observed Y/N. His eyes were the only thing she could see, the rest of his face covered by some sort of turban. He nodded slowly.

"Bane agrees to take you."

"What do you mean ?" panicked the young woman as she moved away from them, cowering in a corner of the cell.

"He will protect you. He tried to protect the last one, and he is the guardian of her child. Go with him."

Not really having a choice, Y/N followed Bane, completely frightened by this silent stranger.

There was indeed a child, sitting on the bed, playing with carved pieces of wood. Unlike her, the child was not afraid when he saw her, visibly delighted that a new person was visiting them.

This isolation had an explanation. The Pit was dangerous for a child, but it turned out that Bane had a secret. Talia.

Very protective, he took a while to let Y/N near the child, while the girl demanded that he play with her, tell stories from the outside world and hold her in his arms The little girl had lost her mother a few years before, only vaguely remembering the woman who gave birth to her.

“Tell me again about the snow ! And the wind ! And the ocean !”

"Yes, yes, calm down Talia. It's late, don't you want to sleep instead ?"

“Tell.” ordered Bane, who refused little to the child.

He tried not to show it, but the man loved those stories too. He listened, holding Talia against his chest until she fell asleep, his gaze only turning away from Y/N if there was a suspicious noise outside the cell.

There was only one bed and it was for the child. At first, Y/N was allowed to sit against a wall with a sheet. It wasn't comfortable, the ratty blanket was useless and she often woke up shivering.

Still speaking little, Bane ended up lifting her one evening to stick her to him, right at the foot of the bed. He was huge, warm, but soft. Several times she had seen him fight with the other inmates, but he had never been violent towards the child or her.

After several months, they began to feel like a little family. Bane provided their protection, Y/N taught them many things, and Talia was their light in this darkness.

Just as he sometimes didn't know what to do when the little girl was sulking, he didn't know how to react when the woman cried on his shoulder, thinking about her past life and realizing that she would never get out of this place. His hands gently massaged her back, but he said nothing. There was nothing to say.

The other inmates had noticed Y/N, and even while mistaking her for a man, some were envious. Another subject of fighting, for Bane's 'wife'.

“I am not your wife.” she muttered when he came back covered in blood.

"They'd be more aggressive if they thought you weren't mine."

“I am not something to own.”

"No, here you are less than an object. You are nothing. Others would ask you for favors just so that you can breathe."

"It is not fair."

"I know, Habibi."

He didn't add that she might be grateful that he took such good care of her, but the message was clear. And he wasn't wrong.

In the Pit, there were no rules. There was no kindness. Bane's behavior was special. Unlike the doctor, he had been thrown here when he was very young, practically born in this place and yet he was calmer than the others, more patient, more polite.

He didn’t ask anything from Y/N in return for his protection, other than taking care of Talia. He could have done her a lot of harm if he wanted.

Even though she didn't fully accept her situation, Y/N tried to survive by holding on to what she had. What she had was this little girl who had never seen the sky, and this taciturn giant.

One evening, after several months had passed, while everyone was asleep, she passed her hand over Bane's face, removing his shawl. He was young, younger than she had imagined. Quite handsome. Her dark eyes watched her as she touched his cheek, his nose, then his lips.

He trembled slightly when she kissed him. He didn't know anything about kissing. About love. Those kinds of things weren't useful here. He who was so tender did not know tenderness. Like beauty and joy, like women and children, all this would quickly die in the Pit.

Talia was eight years old when the other prisoners discovered that she was not a boy. They wondered about Y/N. The cell's small lock wouldn't protect them for long, and Bane couldn't do anything against the entire prison.

The doctor had told them about the escape attempts, and all the failures. The falls. There was no time to think about that. The fate that awaited them was worse than a fall.

Using his fists and all his fury, Bane blasted a path towards the climbing wall, shouting at them to run and not look back.

To make sure she wouldn't fall or get caught, Y/N had the child go first, following her while doing her best not to think about what would happen if they didn't arrive all the way to the top.

Maybe fate had mercy, maybe their determination was stronger than everything, but when the sun touched her skin, Y/N let out a scream, mixed with happiness and despair, as she took Talia in her arms.

This immense ball of fire fascinated the kid for a few moments, then she turned towards the Pit. From the top, we couldn't see anything. It was impossible to see Bane.

At the child's insistence, they stayed two days, hoping that he would join them. Then, the heat, hunger and thirst forced them to move.

“We have to find my father !” Talia declared. "Mom told me about him. He was supposed to come get us, he's very powerful. He can help Bane."

It was impossible to explain to her that finding someone with just their name wasn't that simple. The world was much bigger than the Pit. Although Ra's al Ghul wasn't a very common name.

However, it was enough to say it in the first city they found for men in black to start following them, before asking them why they were looking for Ra's al Ghul.

Obviously he was the leader of a gang of ninjas or something like that. He did not know that his wife had taken his place in prison. He didn't know he had a daughter. The news seemed to please him.

At least, that was what Y/N thought she understood, since she didn’t meet him. He had no interest in meeting her. As soon as he had his daughter back, he ordered the young woman to be sent home.

He could have abandoned her in the middle of nowhere or had her killed, but maybe he suspected that Talia wouldn't be happy if she found out what had happened.

After more than three years of absence, Y/N found herself back home in Gotham. It was complicated to explain to the authorities that she was alive, that she had nothing left, that there was a horrible prison in India. There were a lot of questions, checks, endless procedures, just to get her identity back.

Some associations helped her find money and accommodation, but there was nothing regarding the Pit. It wasn't the Gotham Police Department's problem. They were not interested in what was happening in another country.

Y/N found a small job in a cafe, and after several months an apartment. Life was returning to normal. Except her life would never be normal again.

Every night she thought of Talia and Bane. She wondered if the child was okay. She wondered if the man was alive. She often cried, singing the lullabies she whispered to the little girl, remembering the powerful arms that surrounded her.

It seemed pointless and dangerous to return to India, but Y/N kept telling herself that she would see them again one day. After everything they had been through, she had to see them again. One day.

[justjams2003]

The Desire to be Loved

Okay so... I watched the new Dead Boy Detectives and I loved it. But it made me kind of sad cuz we didn't get to see Dream. So then I rewatched The Sandman. So please enjoy my ramblings of what could be a new story maybe?

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x OFC Love/Cupid/Venus (you know how these beings have millions of names) (Also technically it could be an x reader because love is sort of anthropomorphic but in this story a she)

Warnings: Manipulation, threats, gay lovers (but it's the Sandman so that should be a given) crying, cliffhanger, unedited, kind of like enemies to lovers, tell me if I miss any

Word count: 1,6k+

Dividers by: @hyelita

Masterlist

(I've moved next part to the bottom)

When the first woman stepped foot on the earth, Lust was quick to follow after in their creation. Desire thrived late with his twin Despair after the birth of Destruction once Lillith set on her own path. And once the second woman set foot on earth, Desire created his first creation: Love. Love set her very first arrow into the heart of Adam and Eve.  

And as Dream had his second in command, Lucien, Desire had their favourite pet, creation, Love. And while Dream cares for his dreamlings, Love was nothing but a pet to use for Desire. One to follow orders and never throw tantrums. He did make her as sickly sweet as love can be, but with the same swing as desire has.  

And for thousands of years, she did as she was told. When Destiny told Desire that true soulmates were about to meet, he’d send love with her red heart arrows. And when it was the beginings of love, he’d sent her with her pink arrows. And finally, when the love was no longer meant to be, he’d send Love, to rip those pink arrows from the lovers. Tearing their hearts apart, leaving it to throb in pain.  

After all, it’s not safe for the Endless to roam the human world. Not long enough or often enough, at least, to fulfil the task that Love is sent to do. That was solidified in Desire’s mind when his least favourite brother got captured by the humans.  

She sits on the roof of a house she hasn’t visited before. That seems impossible, she’s been to almost every corner of the earth. But this house...she can feel the aura seems entirely loveless. A black cloud that leaves a bad taste in her mouth, and she doesn’t even eat. At least now something has finally started to bloom.  

She places the arrow on the hilt of the bow. A cute pink heart at the tip. She pulls the string back, controls her breathing like she’s done a million times. But something stops her when she hears what they’re talking about. “The maids say the guards are late.” The boy who just sat down asks.  

The other boy’s black brows furrow. “Really?” He goes to get up, Shoot! She’s going to miss her opportunity. Rushed, she’ll admit, she releases the arrow and it lands right in the two of them. A smile grows on the both of them. She can see the pink aura form around them and makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  

“I’d better get going. I don’t want my father’s demon to escape.” He chuckles to himself, struggling to let go of his newly appointed lover. ‘father’s demon’? What on earth is that supposed to mean? Curiosity plays in her mind as to what it could mean. Especially with this dark cloud surrounding this supernatural feeling house.  

Carefully, her cupid-wings carry her down to the floor. She follows behind the boy, knowing no one but the supernatural can see her. Her white heels (after all, none of Desire’s creature’s could ever be unfashionable) hit the floor with a click-clack. Down the stairs and past the gates. But she stops right in her tracks with an audible gasp when she sees the Burgess’ demon.  

Alex watches with furrowed brows when the pale being his father had captured stands up. His piercing blue eyes looking over Alex’s shoulder, staring right at Cupid. Her eyes are as big as saucers and her plump pink lips hang open in shock. Dream’s hand rests against the glass, words are at the tip of his tongue, but just as quickly they fall dead.  

Gone. His one hope of escape took one large step back into the realm of Desire. Her mind, although submissive and quiet in nature, knew immediately who it is that is captured in Rodrick Burgess’ house. Who is this being that could’ve saved him and all his dreamers? Why couldn’t Alex see her? Why hasn’t Morpheus seen her before, in the waking or the dreaming?  

Why? Well, because it’s Desire’s number one rule. Her white go-go boots stop in front of his throne. “Your Highness?” She asks, her innocent eyes glued to the floor like a child ready for a scolding. “Yes, dear pet?” Desire says with a slinking smirk and the lick of his lips. He knows this stance of her all too well.  

“I’ve done bad.” She says, her shoe digging into the floor, her hands wringing behind her back. “Do tell.” They beg for the minor being. “Well, I was on the mission you sent me. With Alex Burgess and his new lover. And well, they were talking about something the Alex boy called ‘father’s demon’ and I-” Desire holds out his hand. She rambles often, he’s used to it.  

Cupid plucks a piece of skin from her lip with her teeth, such a nervous girl. “I saw Dream.” She blurts out, knowing better than to continue blabbering. Desire stands from his seat. A huge smirk forms on his face. He’s practically dancing around now, joy coursing through him. Or rather, mischief. “Oh really?”  

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d be there. If I knew I wouldn’t have gone. And-” The rambling starts again. But the anger that she expected isn’t there. “No, no, don’t worry my dear pet. You did good, so good.” They muse, now circling her like a shark with it’s prey. “I did?” She ask, her eyebrows lifting in the middle as she fights off the tears she’d been ready to let go of.  

Desire hums, his finger curling under her chin. “Verrryyy good.” He draws out the words like a cat would that could speak. Love’s long lashes flutter as the tears try up, now turned to confusion. “My brother, dear Morpheus, has been missing for the last 10 years and you, dear pet, have accidently just found him.” 

“I did?” He nods again, driving the point home. “Are we going to save him then? He looked so terribly miserable in the glass cage they put him. When he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes that he has-” she’s cut off by a sharp nail under her chin, ready to unmake her. “Why would we ever save him? No, no, no! Have I not taught you better? He has not called for our help and for that we’ll let him rot.”  

The tears rise in the emotional girls eyes once more. “That seems so cruel.” She mumbles, a knot in her throat. “Cruel? Are you not the same Cupid who rips the love right from people’s hearts? Who lets them suffer for years before letting them love again? Is that not more cruel than letting a man, an Endless, be as he wishes to be?”  

Venus gasps when the tear rolls down her cheek, “Yes, but-” she wants to say so much. It is not she who gets to chose. It’s him! They make her break the humans and she cries each time she has too. She just preforms her given task dutifully. It pains her when the humans pray to her, because she has no choice in the matter.  

But she doesn’t say anything. She can’t, Desire would unmake her for disobedience. Instead, she just accepts their badgering. “No, pet, we take advantage of this. While he does not have a say in the matter, you and I will execute as many plans as possible for his demise and when he escapes from his capture, we’ll see the Dreaming fall and crumble at our feet.”  

This...this does not sit well with Cupid. Not one bit. “My master, are you sure this is a good idea?” Her voice is barely above a whisper for she fears Desire’s vengeful side. Desire’s head snaps to her. “Don’t you want your master to be more powerful? To rule over so much more than people’s fleeting wants?”  

“I-” she stumbles over her words but can see when those golden eyes warn her what the true answer is. “I do.” Cupid swallows her tongue and this does please Desire. She’s always been the perfect pet. Capable of nothing more than what is told to her.  

But all she can really think of is the desperation in his eyes. One of the Endless, stripped and vulnerable. And he was pleading. Pleading to her. Just another lonely creature made to serve and one of the Endless were pleading to her to free him. But what could she do? She cannot touch the humans, she cannot even speak to them. The universe and it’s creators know she exists, but those they serve struggle to believe.  

One thing that Desire of the Endless did not take into account is that Love isn’t just desire in another form. It isn’t just a want for the pleasure that a human body gives. It’s also the dreams of the humans that give her any form of power. A dream of what more there could be past the fleeting moments of lust. Past the want for sex and through the to the soul.  

A dream that all humans have. To be loved. By their parents, by their siblings, by their friends, by their lovers. Love is something all humans dream of, late at night when they enter the sleeping world. And while yes, they do wish to be lusted over and want over others, what Love gives is much, much more.  

A cross between Desire and Dream. And if the humans cannot Dream of love, can they even love? If there is no Dream, can there still be Love?  

Idk if this is going to be a full story yet but if you think it should be and want to be in the taglist if it becomes one, just ask!

Part 2~

[onskepa]

Hello, this is my first request so excuse me if it's misunderstanding

So, I had a dream about neteyam x human reader who is a woman. Reader it's paralyzed from the waist down, like Jake. But the only difference is that she doesn't and won't have an avatar. Usually, she doesn't leave her room so when Neteyam comes over, he has to carry her everywhere so she thinks she's a bother. He assures her that carring her it's not bother and it's rather adorable to see her tiny frame in his big arms.

Thank you<3

Helloooooooooooo darling~!! Quite the dream you have XD

Alrighty! Hopefully this comes out to yours and everyone's satisfactions~! enjoy~!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Susyang

The story of Jake Sully, the sixth Toruk Makto, the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, has been share all over pandora. How he arrived in such a weak form but managed to rise and defeat the sky demons.

Susyang, a human girl was born in Pandora. She along with another human named spider. But there is a large difference between them. Spider is very strong, athletic, and can freely move where ever he desires. Susyang? She cant.

When her mother was pregnant, things were fine until during her birth. Things did not go well. During her birth, her mother passed away, and the birthing complications affected her lower half of the body. Was never told what went wrong but susyang's chance of walking was taken before she could even open her eyes.

Forever to never use her legs until her last breath. Strapped in a wheelchair to move around the lab, and forever to be inside. Pandora is already dangerous enough for a human to move around. Susyang hold no chance to last an hour.

But she makes the most of it, reading so many books about pandora, watch the scientists do their daily work. Would even chat and talk about interesting plants or animals they found.

One of her favorite things to talk about are the native people. The na'vi. How she wishes to meet one. Norm did his best with his avatar body, while happy, susyang still sees norm through his blue body. To meet a real one, to interact and play. Wouldn't that be a dream...

"Wait another human kid lives with you?" little kiri asks to spider. Everyone was eating some fruit they collected and enjoying a bright sunny day. Spider nods, "yeah, she is really nice and super smart!". Interested at peak, kiri asks more, "why hasn't she come out with you? is she smaller?". At that, spider's smile falls a bit into a sad expression.

"She cant" he replied. Lo'ak turned, his eyebrows forming down, not understanding. "What do you mean she cant? are there enough masks?" he asks, spider shook his head no. "It is not that, its just....she cant leave so easily like me. Her legs don't work". Lo'ak and kiri immediately know what he meant.

Their father has explained his time as human, how he was limited to his wheelchair because of his dead weighted legs. Sadness and pity took over their emotions, "well what if we come to her instead? We can play with her and so she wont feel lonely" kiri suggests. Spider liked the idea and already the three began to plan things out.

The following day, everything was normal in the lab. Susyang was reading a book when spider came into her room already setting the wheelchair in front of her bed. "Hey, come come!" spider was very energetic and seemed to be in a rush. Raising her eyebrow, susyang looked at spider, "why? is something going on?". Not really answering her, spider carefully lifts susyang from the bed and gently to the chair. Quickly securing her legs, spider wheeled her out of the room in high speeds.

The sudden action startled susyang, making her squeal a bit. "Spider! hey hey! stop it! where are you taking me!?" feeling a bit scared she is under spider's mercy. Spider didn't reply as he strolled her to the entrance of the lab.

Suddenly coming to halt, susyang who was closing her eyes opened after a moment. Spider went in front of her and extended his arms wide with a huge smile. "I want you to meet my friends! this is kiri, lo'ak and neteyam sully!", susyang opened her mouth wide in shock. Her head lifting up to see their massive height. True na'vi! in front of her!

How badly she wanted to say something, but all came out was tiny squeaks and cute noises. The na'vi kids giggled at her noises thus making her blush in embarrassment. "She is so cuuuuuuute~!" kiri coos as she gently squishes susyang cheeks.

Lo'ak played with her hair, getting the feel of her soft texture while neteyam bend down to her level and smiles softly at her. Susyang blushed a bit seeing him. But she had to keep her cool no matter what!

"spider told us a lot about you. We decided to come and play with you" neteyam says. He carefully observed her actions, the tiniest hint can say much about a human. "u-umm th-thank you!" she smiles sweetly, feeling lucky and thankful for spider.

Neteyam got closer, opening his arms, susyang looked at him, "n-neteyam...!"

"Neteyam please I beg of you to not drop me!" 15 year old susyang clung tightly on the back of 15 year old neteyam. The boy chuckled, making sure his friend was holding tightly as he climbs higher on the trees.

Today neteyam planned things out for susyang to enjoy. After meeting each other, they became inseparable. Connected at arms, both neteyam and susyang were just really close to each other.

Despite susyang insecurities, neteyam is always there to cheer her up. Making sure that she belongs in pandora just like spider. Which is why neteyam has a nice surprise for her. With the help of his father and brother, they build a gift susyang would love.

Arriving at the north river, neteyam cleared the way to reveal something to susyang. "No way, is that...?" susyang says, looking at what is in the water.

A boat. A simple boat fitting for na'vi size. But it was beautiful, was decorated with lovely carvings and full of beautiful flowers. "Oh neteyam...this is beautiful!!" susyang says with emotional joy in her voice. With a huge sigh of relief, neteyam relaxed. It was two weeks of hard work to create it, with every carving was dedicated to susyang, in hopes this would be a better travelling method for her.

Carefully and gently, neteyam lays susyang on the boat, where it is softly cushioned with fibers and leaves. Making sure she is secured well, he hops on, and with a paddle, he begins the journey.

Settling in a peaceful silence, susyang takes notice of the small details of the boat, touching it as if it was made of glass. There is clear evidence that it was done by love and care. It made susyang appreciate it all more.

Looking up at neteyam who is steering the boats direction, she smiles in adoration. Her dear friend had spent so much time to make sure she is comfortable and safe while being out in the forest. It made her feel a bit....guilty. Had her legs work, perhaps she would have been as free as spider.

Arriving at their destination, neteyam picks her up bridal style. "How much further is it?" susyang asks, "not far, almost there" neteyam answers. What else is there to show? Susyang knows every corner of the forest after so many years.

Few minutes later, they arrived in a small hut, above the trees but near the river. It was lovely, cushioned softly, and everything was close at arms. The shade was perfect, the view was perfect. All was perfect. "What is this...?" she asks silently, but neteyam heard her. Placing her in the middle of the hut, he gestures to the whole area, "this is is for you. Me and the others worked on this so you can enjoy the forest, way better than being stuck in your room".

Neteyam smiled brightly as he explained, feeling quiet accomplished and proud. Anything to make his dear friend smile. But then he heard sniffles and weeping. Looking down, he sees susyang crying. Quickly bending down to her side, he cradles her in his big arms.

"What's wrong? does it hurt? did I do something wrong?" he asked, worry heavy in his voice. Susyang only cried louder, letting her salty tears fall from her eyes. Now neteyam felt really panicked. Was it not to her liking? Was it too rough the cushions? Not enough space? Was the items too far away? Each second passed and neteyam's inner worries were rising.

"y-you....!! and th-the others.....!! did all this for m-me.....!! I am s-so sorry for making you do this....!!" was all susyang could say without it being a mess of tears. His ears perked up at that, why is she apologizing?

"susyang....no no, there is nothing to be sorry for. Why would you say sorry? You haven't done anything wrong" neteyam says gently. Stroking her back, trying to sooth her. But her tears keep falling without stopping.

"n-no...!! its because of these stupid legs!! I c-cant do anything! I always have to rely on someone and I hate it! I cant even have an avatar of my own! stupid legs! I am weak! pathetic! I am nothing but a burden to you and everyone else!"

This was the first time neteyam heard her confess like that. He understood that not having functioning limbs can be a burden but never to this extent.

Cradling her in his arms, he gently rocks side to side as means to hopefully calm her down. Placing a small kiss on her head, he waits it out for her to cry it all out. Perhaps it was the pent up frustration that needed to be released. Keeping your emotions all bottled up is never a good thing.

"sssshhh....you are not a burden susyang. Not to me, not to anyone. You are everything to me, nothing about you is a burden. I enjoy spending time with you and I enjoy doing these things for you. When I hold you, feeling your tiny body against mine, I feel like I can protect you. From any danger in this world. And I am happy with that. Your happiness means everything to me".

Those words struck susyang right in the feels. Making her stop crying at once. But instead of sadness, her tears were replaces with that of tears of joy.

"w-what? why are you crying again!?" neteyam asked with more worry again. Susyang laughed and put her whole body weight on him. "I am not s-sad silly.....!! I am just happyyyyyyy!!" she cries while smiling. Neteyam always seems to find a way to get to her heart.

As she let her happiness show, neteyam just gives her more kisses and laughs a bit. As long as susyang is happy and comfortable. That is all it matters to him.

Aaaaaaaand that is all for this one! idk if this is a bit too long but who cares! Hope you liked this one! until next time! see ya!

Susyang = fragile

[cannedwyrms]

Spoilers for Shadow of the Erdtree but...

So, Moore. I'll admit, didn't strike me as very interesting my first playthrough. Yeah, he was a funny little guy, but that seemed to be it.

I wanna talk about Moore for just a bit.

However, on a few subsequent runs and an unhealthy amount of thinking, I believe Moore is a lot moore complex than I originally thought.

When we first meet him, he's right outside Belurat, next to Ansbach. Most of Miq's followers can be found on close proximity to each other, which may just be to show that they are all fellows, united in common cause, but there might be some reason for specific placements.

As far as I'm aware, Moore's placement next to Ansbach doesn't have any significance, but I'd love to hear any theories or thoughts if you have any.

He's like the supplier for Leda's band, working with other members of the forager brood to find things, which he then shares with the others.

"Things give joy to all," as he says.

Moore talks in a very simplistic manner. To me, it almost seems like he's forcing some of the words out. This could be because he's actually not a guy, but one of the pests, part of the forager brood. That's just a headcannon of mine, but I do think there's some evidence for it.

Anyway, Moore's quest revolves, as all of the followers do, around the breaking of Miquella's great rune.

But there's quite a bit of missable dialogue before it that really adds to his character.

We learn he's part of the forager brood, who you can find, well, foraging all over the Lands of Shadow. They'll give you cookbooks, and generally be cute little guys (gender-neutral). There's one by the church of crusade that's shivering and cold.

Pop down a warming stone or other similar items, and it'll heat right up. If you go back to Moore after doing that, he'll give you a cookbook with two items that are almost useful.

If you attack any of the brood, he'll eventually invade you and you'll be forced to kill him.

After the great rune is shattered, Moore seems to have a bit of a crisis. He feels abandoned, and will tell you that him and his brood were abandoned by their mother.

Before we continue any further, let's speculate on who Moore's mother could be.

Personally, I believe the forager brood to have, in some way, been birthed by Romina. A bit obvious, perhaps, but the pests have always been associated with the scarlet rot, and Romina became pretty bug-like after she accepted the rot. As to why she would abandon her buggy children, that's where my theory starts to fall apart. If I end up making a post about Romina herself, I'll explore this idea further.

Back to Moore, we can now get into the specifics of what his quest is actually about. What the theme is, how it informs our reading of the rest of the game, etc.

Moore's quest is about trauma. And, to be moore specific, Moore wants to forget the trauma of his abandonment, and believes Miquella's love is the way to do that.

After the great rune is shattered, you are able to give Moore a rare three-way choice to end his quest. If you choose the "sad forever" option, Moore will tell you goodbye and be found dead, next to the corpse of one of his siblings.

If you choose the "put it behind you" option, Moore will decide to keep following Miquella, believing that his love will "banish the pain."

The next time you meet him will be in your fight against Leda, where he will remark about what a tragedy it is for you and the others to fight, and will die. He seems to regret needing to fight you. At his heart, Moore is kind and gentle, only moved to the tides of battle because he, like so many others, believes it will save him.

Accepting Miquella's love is not the solution to moving past his trauma. There is no easy escape, and even if Miq's love did banish Moore's pain, it might not even help him feel any better.

This is one of the moore interesting ends to Moore's quest, because it informs us a bit about the theme of his questline, and Miquella's faliure to understand others' suffering. Becaus Surprise! Somehow I'm actually still talking about Miquella!

Basically, if Miquella really wanted to fix things he would've invented therapy.

Moore's final ending is very interesting as well because he's the only character that can actually survive the whole dlc.

If you choose "I don't know," Moore will eventually come to the conclusion that, even though it hurts, even though he's still sad, he has his family and the things he enjoys doing, and concludes that that's enough for him. And because of that, he actually survives the dlc. He's still there after you defeat Miquella and Radahn, and even though he's sad that Leda and the others never come by to visit, he's still alive. He's still foraging.

And this, I think, is actually another thing the game is trying to tell us.

Amidst all of these great ambitions, these demigods and champions trying to bring about change, to "fix" the world as they see fit, the one person who survives is the only one who finds contentment not in some great goal, not in revenge or obsession, but in simply appreciating what he has and trying to make the best of it.

It's not a perfect solution, sure, but Moore eventually comes to understand that, while he might not be fully happy, losing himself to some goal is not going to magically fix his problems or give him some sense of fulfillment. That's why he's the only one that survives.

Even in the base game, most characters eventually die, mostly for the reasons I stated above. Alexander chases a glorious battle, Hewg loses himself to the promise and obsession of making a godslaying weapon, Melina burns herself to fulfil our goals.

But Moore can live.

And maybe this is what Miquella was missing. In the pursuit of a perfect world, he missed the fact that no world can be perfect, especially not one built off the back of suffering. Instead, Elden Ring says, true peace—true kindness—comes from making the best of your situation and appreciating what you already have.

Of course, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try to improve your surroundings any, it just means that often our happiness can come from things we might have taken for granted.

Personally, I like Moore's second ending the best, the one where he fights alongside Leda and the others, but that's only because I'm a sucker for a good tragedy. Moore's inclusion in that fight also strengthens the idea that what you're doing is kind of wrong (something I'll get to when I talk about Leda) and that there is no moral black and white, only shades of gray.

All in all, Moore is a lot moore interesting than he might first appear, and his inclusion reveals another theme and strengthens all the other ones we've talked about.

I'll get to Leda soon, and eventually to all of Miq's followers, but when I seriously started analyzing Moore I realized I needed to make a post on him. Although, I'll admit I'm still not completely sold on this interpretation, I'm still pretty proud of it.

Okay, bye.

[lynxfrost13]

LYNXXXXXX for the ask game..... 1 for sonderbar and 3, 6 and 14 for pebble 🥹🥹? I heart him fuckkk also. 20 for voel pretty please.....

RENEEEE TY FOR THE ASKKK

Sonderbar

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

I wish I could say more, but I just went "what if a replika thought they were a different unit" and from there I thought going from a really low ranking/common unit to one of AEON's top dogs would be really fun to explore!

3. How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

OKAY I actually have the exact time and date of her conception for you: July 22nd in the year of our lord 2024

^ This was the original thought that led to her, but I didn't make her intro post until August 3rd, which is definitely when she became the Sonderbar we know today, I remember spending a solid chunk of time trying to name her and work out some of the more fun details about her that night, like her arm defect! Also I think I have mentioned it before but she was originally very different character wise, she was a lot more of a real threat and not at sierpinski, and even had gotten a destabilized adler unit to be by her side in that version of her which I did think was a really neat idea!! However I am very happy with the beautiful girl I have today, idk something about her being much less able to become a falke in the setting she's in really gets me and feels more realistic to the setting of sierpinski/signalis to me.

Pebble

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

Appearance! And he's changed a bit since then! I went through and dug up his first ever art pieces for you for fun! The first pic was his birth into the world... 4 years ago... shortly shortly followed by his first ref... looking at my old art of him is wilddd but here's his progression from 2021 -> 2022 -> 2024

6. What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?

Tbh he was just made for the aesthetic at first, I originally tried to make him look more like many types of river rocks but settled on the stone and moss look. He's also originally from wings of fire so I also took into account what type of dragon he'd be: a mud/sea hybrid! He gets his fins and glow spots from the seawing side, and his chunky solid build from the mud :)

14. Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?

Idk if song lyrics count but I'm counting them, Karma by AJR is THE Pebble song and if I had the skill and patience the animatic I'd make would be legendary... these lines especially I think are really defining for his character:

Time, I know we're out of time But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it Bye, I don't wanna say bye If only I could keep you in my pocket...

^ I say it's very character defining mostly because although he's sort of in sotry/lore limbo right now (the amount of retcons and rewrites he's gotten... I might yap abt those one day) Pebble's always managed to have this core theme of moving on from grief funnily enough. He does lose someone important to him (again kind of old lore, originally he lost a partner -> changed to child -> partner again -> in limbo again but I think it might become a loss of a best friend and/or partner. This is up in the air rn mostly because at the time I wasn't happy with how those other versions of the character existed solely around Pebble and weren't really characters in their own right. Perhaps this is hell). I really have to work on my wof worldbuilding and Pebb's story again tbh, he deserves it and now you've got me thinking about him again... I actually also might put him into Voel so that leads into a nice transition lmao!!

Voel

20. Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

aw fuck this is gonna be such a long post I don't think I've done a true yap sesh abt Voel yet... I'm gonna try to keep it to the bare bones but THERES SO MUCH I WANNA YAP ABT AND WORK OUTTT AUGHHH a lot of this text is copied from random discord places where I've already done some talking so I'll put that stuff in quotes

Also just for fun but I think it does better at giving the vibes for everything is my eternally in progress pinterest board for Voel + the lands and races here

"So the background for how this world was formed into what u see on the map is that originally, the world was a barren and dry wasteland inhabited by one single being, Arvellis (names are being workshopped rn). They only knew the world they were born into but fell in love with it despite it being incredibly harsh to live in. They spent their entire life exploring the wasteland hoping to find someone, anyone to share it with, but eventually they realized and accepted that they were completely alone. Their heart couldn’t take the grief, and they died (rip lonely guy 😔). Their body was full of a lot of potent magic though, and so as it rotted and as its blood seeped into the ground, it became the catalyst for life on Voel! There was also a small explosion of that potent magic caused by the heart upon dying, which is why there’s the lake where it is. Arvellis was HUGE so parts of their body are still easily recognizable as landmarks present day, notable the ribs in the desert, and south Quara's islands are made up of skull fragments"

Okay so that's how everything is created and from there I've got those 4 main regions with their respective races:

Thros is the primarily rocky desert region (formerly grassy plains, scrapped that though). The Throsians inhabit it, they're inspired by a mix of real life animals (long distance running plain mammals, wasps, pangolins, etc) as well as buggy type aliens and the draenei race from warcraft. Here's some old ass sketches from when I finally solidified a lot of their features, I think the bottom headshot and the headshot next to the big YES are the most accurate to what they look like. Originally I considered making them mammals but idk about that... I might still keep them mammalian but get rid of the small sexual dimorphisms they had. They've got weird ass sturdy feet that are built for both running on rocky and rough desert terrain, and along with their long legs they're also very long jumpers. These guys can run for ages at a steady pace because of gill-like structures on their torsos that help them take in more air as they're in motion, and they've also got their tails for balance!

Culturally I'm still figuring a LOT out for these guys but Throsian cities are kind of cool in that they're inspired by paper and potter wasps in terms of how organic they look. This was a super rough sketch from a while ago kinda showing that. All Throsian cities apart from their "capitol" one (which is essentially just the crossroads city so it's big bc there's a lot of Throsian commerce happening as well as travel) are nestled into the ribs of Arvellis. Yeah the dead giant guy. His ribs over time turned into stone and fragments + whole bits are scattered across the entire desert. The cities being nestled in and on there is also practical since it keeps them in a cool location with less sun beating down on them. Also it's cool as fuck to live right on the bones of a dead god.

Quara is a little weird in that it's kind of spread out, and the Quarans as a people are also generally split into three groups based on their region + regional culture divides. They're essentially fish folk/mermaids with legs lmao. Here's some ancient ass brainstorming from early last year, they were originally ALL called Tideborn before I swapped to the general name of Quaran for the race so sorry if it's a bit confusing.

"For a long time the tideborn as we know them today were united under one leader and they were a very strong unified nation across Voel, with lots of underwater highways of a sort connecting the different islands. Slowly over time though cultural and physical differences grew and they sort of just naturally drifted apart into individual little groups. The southern tideborn and northern tideborn are often in disagreement over how to best worship the tidemother and tend to not get along present day as a whole in terms of culture (there are lots of individual exceptions of course, and city dwellers intermingle much more). It’s not a hostile relationship, they keep up a business relationship and trade often, but each thinks the other has the wrong idea. Southern tideborn really stick to the idea of the tidemother as a wanderer first and then protector. And they tend to have much smaller but more frequent villages, with many of them passing through the villages and acting like wanderer knights of a sort (I love knights. Fish knights. Let me have this)

Whereas the tropical tideborn think more along the lines of, protector over wanderer. They have strong, large fortified cities that are connected to each other and from there they protect people much more locally (and if needed they can send their people in huge groups to assist during like. Natural disasters, disease spreading, etc on a more global scale)

The temperate water Tideborn are kind of a weird middle ground? They’re not wanderers in the sense that their southern cousins are, but they tend to be traveling merchants and entertainers and such instead (they see that as a way of helping people too. Not just saving them from danger but providing goods and stories) and their influence on both of their brother groups has led to this odd little coalition that serves as a loosely united leadership for the tideborn as a whole."

This is all hella old and some things have changed but most of it is still true. The Tidemother is the deity that all of the Quaran cultures revere regardless of their differences!! Also I made it a lil confusing but Northern Quarans are the tropical fish variant, Southern are the arctic fish variant, and the temperate Quarans are a mix of tropical, arctic, and freshwater/river fish variant. Northern Quarans tend to physically be shorter,more slender and naturally have lots of bright colors and patterns, Southern Quarans on the other hand tend to be very large size wise. They're both taller and usually more heavyset since their bodies adapted to storing more fat for the colder enviroment. Again the temperate Quarans aren't as fleshed out but they have a lot more variety in terms of body shape, but color wise they're never as eye catching as their northern cousins.

Culture wise something that has changed is Southern Quarans do also have a few small fortress type cities, nowhere near the scale of the north though. I really struggled figuring out the general architecture style for both south and north Quara, but I think these rough sketches do a decent job of showing what I want. Sorry abt my handwriting but yeah! Northern Quarans tend to have very organic and round strucutres with lots of open space due to the tropical climate. A lot of their structures are inspired by conch shells and underwater organics, and their cities also tend to be very busy visually, with a lot of buildings intertwined/ stacked which can almost make it feel like the city is crawling on itself. Although the building layout is super busy, Northern cities do always have a clear and wide main highway going in and through. Southern Cities on the other hand are very bare bones at first glance. They can come off as very cold and rigid and that's bc Southern Quarans love their inorganic structures. They use a lot of hard straight edges for their structures, with really tall ceilings and neat square or rectangle layouts. It's not that they don't like incorporating organics, but they like them contained and orderly. If you go up to any South Quaran city wall it's guaranteed to be intricately carved, either with artistic depictions of historic figures, animals, etc or just patterns.

OH also fun detail since I will be talking about the skeleton of a magic system that I have rn, but Southern Tideborn have a tradition of getting magical tattoos as a sort of coming of age ritual.

So next up is Dekthros and its draconic citizens, the Dekthrians! I'm currently in the process of reworking them to try and make them fit a little better into the world/not be just generic dragons/dragonfolk because I worry that they are (Ultimately I'm creating all of this for myself BUT that's exactly why I want to change things). So the fun thing about the Dekthrians is that they all mostly live in the mountain region of Voel, but they live underground since that region has a lot of naturally sprawling caverns. Think of like how expansive and huge the new minecraft cave enviroments are and how sometimes they don't even feel closed in, that's basically what it's like. The big thing the Dekthrians have going for them is that they're generally known for their skill when it comes to crafting and forging weapons, armor, and jewelry, and their cities aren't called Forge Cities for nothing. At the center of each city is a giant forge and crafting center, inspired by Ironforge and dwarf architecture from warcraft (all of their aesthetic is generally warcraft dwarf inspired. There is a theme here of me taking a lot of inspo from warcraft aesthetics lmao). Another thing I think is really awesome is that the Forge Cities aren't isolated, but there's a lot of different smaller settlements in pockets of the underground all connected by major underground tunnels. An easy and safe way to travel through the otherwise very harsh mountain range is by just traveling the cave system, it's well lit and easy to go on foot or via other transportation modes, and there's plenty of points where someone could stop and spend a night resting. I've done almost no art when it comes to Dekthros or its inhabitants but here's a really fast concept scribble I did a while ago for a tunnel/forge city. They tend to have a lot of bridges built across for accessibility, and Dekthrians tend to layer their homes vertically since the caves allow for that. They literally just dig into that rock and live there!

Physically I don't have too much to say about the Dekthrians other than they're mostly built like the typical western dragon... but I'm planning on fleshing them out at somepoint to allow for variation from their chunky bulky builds (I have to work it out, but I'm planning on potentially a variant that lives on the coast, mostly as an excuse to put Pebble into Voel lol, but also a more serpentine/cloud serpent inspired high altitude variant...). The cool things that I do have about them though are some of their cultural bits, mostly their visage crafting and their funerals. The visage crafting is partially in limbo right now as well due to figuring out what the limitations should be and if it should even exist as it is right now, but essentially a coming of age thing that most Dekthrians participate in is designing and crafting their own tool/weapon/accessory of choice that the also enchant to give them a smaller form more similar to the size of the other Voelian races as a way to integrate better (Dekthrians are the largest of all the main races, with Quarans and Throsians being in a similar range and Teelans varying more... I'll get to them later tho). Again I do have to workshop it but I really like the idea of it being a big deal in their society to spend a long time designing something that's just right for you!! Whatever a Dekthrian makes/chooses is pretty permanent in that making another visage is incredibly difficult due to the magic system I'm also still working on!!

Anyway the other thing I think is really neat about them is their funerals because they go all out. Some more copied text coming up

"it ties into the idea of their primary god being The Mourner... The Dekthrians build off of this and their traditional funerals are basically these very beautiful parties. Everyone is invited regardless of whether they knew the person that died, because this is a chance to get to know them now. The entire thing lasts several days, with the first day being the cremation (burial also happens but is less common. Each family member contributes to the lighting of the fire in cremation) and families tend to have a place where their visage tool is stored afterwards. Not much else happens the first day apart from a quiet moment for personal mourning. The next day is when festivities are expected to start, and these differ from group to group on length and what they do during them. Some parties last a couple days, some last up to a month (tends to happen with popular figures or leaders). The common things in all of them are stories, incredible food, and lots of games. Most Dekthrians try to do activities that the dead person would’ve enjoyed, so maybe poetry reading would happen at one, or there would be a concert at another, etc. It’s a lot of fun and they do a really good job of not just partying but also remembering that person. The last day, whenever it is, usually has a big send off to the deceased, where everyone gathers and a nighttime fire display with lots of colors (magical fireworks basically) marks the end of the ceremony."

Theyr'e the only race whose funeral/death rites I've fleshed out, I do want to get around to everyone else eventually.

Okay last of the races are my favorite children, the Teelans! Aesthetically they're heavily inspired by both the brokers from warcraft and a lot of cool pottery and mesoamerican art and architecture! Here are the brokers for fun because I think they deserve more love (#1 broker fan here they were the best thing to come from shadowlands and I'm dying on that hill)

Teelans are a funny race in that they are technically constructs (animated beings that are usually crafted/sculpted/grown etc) but they're fully sentient and intelligent, where true constructs might have some personality they're ultimately made for a purpose and aren't sentient. The super fun thing about the Teelans is that they're essentially living clay dolls, and a huge part of their culture is self expression and body modification. The variety you can get in size and shape in these guys is one of my favorite things about them, here's some old arts of them.

The blue "flame" is what separates them from true constructs and it's kinda like their soul/consciousness. They're really hard to fully kill because of that, you'd have to completely pulverize their body and leave it unsalvageable. Also a fun thing is that the way Teelans are "born" is via an enchanted mud pit that they emerge out of all goopy -> they then dry out into a very basic humanoid shape and from there they start making adjustments and modifications themselves as they progress through life. They also can't die from old age! I feel like I don't have as much I want to say about them but another thing I think is neat and that transitions semi nicely into other stuff is that Teelan homes are true constructs. Teelan cities technically CAN just get up and move anywhere anytime because most buildings are animated constructs!!

I also don't have a lot to say about constructs apart from what I've already said, but I do want to point out a notable one called the City Colossus. No one really knows who animated it or why they did it (it's theorized that it woke up/was "born" due to a high saturation of god blood in that region...) but the Colossus is always traveling around Voel, and it's become a weird mobile trade hub of sorts. There's again, still a lot I'm working out like whether all of the races inahbit the city -> or if I want to make someone new OR I have considered leaving it abandoned and I do like that a lot. Anyway, the Colossus is completely harmless and just completes its route every year and I love it a lot.

The last thing I really wanna talk about is the magic system which is undergoing some serious reworking, what I can definitely say about it is that everything in this world does have magical properties of varying degrees, with organic creatures having more typically (an exception is the Teelans but they're weird). There's two primary types of magic that can be performed, enchantments and wards. Enchantments are usually assumed to be "temporary magic" and while that is true a lot of the time, the main difference between an enchantment and a ward is where the magic comes from. Wards come from a magic user drawing on their own magic, which is a lot more taxing and typically reserved for bigger permanent spells (for example, Quaran tattoos or Dekthrian weapons) where enchantments make use of other magic sources (so this would be like using animal and mineral ingredients or potion brewing to give temporary effects usually). It's mostly undergoing some reworking because I like it when magic is a little more grounded and has hard set rules, and I felt like earlier on Voel didn't have that! I'm currently trying to figure out the consequences of someone overusing ward magic, it's probably gonna involve just dying from being so drained buttt I'm also playing around with the concept of draining yourself of magic leading to something worse... idk as you can tell a lot of this is still very much being developed!!! That's basically all the big stuff but for fun and as a treat if you made it to the bottom of this, here's some different rough creature concepts for this silly world

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

what was the creative process behind your spike fic? i always love reading your notes on creating fic!

OMG, anon, thank you for the opportunity to ramble!

I'm actually gonna put a cut on this thing because I know people will want to scroll past the absolute wall of text I'm about to put out. I'm literally gonna write an essay on the birth of this beast, timeline-wise.

Kay. So, I've been reading a ton of Spike fics in like the last month or two. Before that, I was bouncing around with The Vampire Diaries, Star Wars, Star Trek, a lot of sci-fi/modern/futuristic stuff. I think that made the progression easier for me to 'get into' writing a modern fic.

This might be a bit dumb, but I cried when I found out that Michelle Trachtenberg died. Buffy was the legit first thing me and my dad had in common when I was a teenager (extenuating circumstances, but let's just say that we didn't get on great due to mutual, if separate, issues). It was a bit of a gut punch, you know? So I started looking at old Dawn fanfics I'd read back in the day—sue me, but when I was like 14 and my biggest crush was Spike, I read Dawn x Spike (given that I wasn't involved in wider fandom discourse at the time, I wasn't exactly literate on the whole ew-that-ship-is-NOT-okay thing)—and stumbled across the oldies I pored over. Geez, I swear fanfiction.net used to be a better quality site? Haven't been there in literal years, and I've gotten so spoiled by AO3 that it felt a bit like slummin' it. But the trip down memory lane was fun. Ran out of steam for Dawn x Spike, so I turned to Spuffy, Spander, Spillow, read all my old faves. Then I saw that there were new Buffy Funko Pops, and as a Funko ho I got them. Then I started rewatching episodes here and there. All the scenes of Spike getting verbally shat on by Buffy in Seasons 5 and 6 made my heart hurt—funny, because I don't really recall if it was quite so horrible to watch as a kid—and I was like "see, this is where fanfic comes in." Decided to hop back online and see if there were any good Spike x OC/Reader fics. A few, and really good (I'll reblog my reads if anyone's interested in that at all), but nothing that scratched the exact itch I was after. The whole "Spike should have an ending where he doesn't have to hide or excuse a part of himself" itch. Then the creativity itch started up.

I've been a bit leery of writing fanfic for a bit. Well, posting it, anyway. Done bits and bobs of ToE, but nothing substantial enough to put up as a complete chapter update. I've also been dabbling with Star Trek (Spirk x Reader, lol) and TVD fic (Klaus x Reader x Elijah, can you tell I like threesomes?), but neither of those are done. The latter is more done, and I might post that eventually, but it got away from me a bit because I made the mistake of just yeeting ideas out without making some sort of plan. Same with the Star Trek fic, TBH. I've sorta smutted myself into a hole with both—too much detail, to the point it reads like a blow-by-blow and I'm exhausted just reviewing it. The pacing's all wonky. So anyway, I sat on an idea of a Spike x Reader, partially based on old maladaptive fantasies I used to invent as a teen while trying to fight off insomnia. Being Buffy's sister. Being the one Spike falls for. It felt like the right move, in the name of nostalgia, to tackle an old daydream. And I think I've already mentioned that I've wanted to write a relationship fic using external character POVs, partly because I'm a freaky little voyeur, partly for drama and partly because it's an interesting way to practice at writing each character. If you can believably write in an approximation of their voice, you understand them, right?

Wasn't hard to draft some dot points about the order of development (something's up > too close at funeral > twoo wuv confession > sads after Buffy > catch post-nut > catch mid-nut > catch pre-nut > big blow-up > semi-resolution > happy days). Wasn't originally going to include Angel, but given Spike's hate-on for him and the necessity of filling in another character blank, I felt it held up to include him. The only possible place he could fit was Joyce's funeral, seeing as he was present in canon there, so there he was assigned. I had to think logistically in my assignments: I started with Xander getting to view the live graphic smut show, seeing as how he basically cops the same thing with Buffybot. That was a fun scene to write! I then went back to the 'huh, why's Spike being weirder than usual?' intro scene and decided that if it were anything more intense, Buffy'd probably just kill him, so she had to get that one. The other intimate scenes (confession, post- and mid-smut stuff) had to go to characters who wouldn't dob Spike and Reader in, so Anya, Dawn and Tara they went to. Dawn couldn't have the confession, she was busy being sacrificed by Glory, and she definitely couldn't have the active smut bit because she's a kid and ew. Giles got the post-Buffy's-death mourning sequence because he's mostly absent in Season 6 and I wanted to preserve that. I knew it was going to end with either Reader or Spike POV (to hit home how SWAG things are), and that basically left Willow by default with the confrontation scene.

I wrote it all out of order. Xander first, back to Buffy, then Angel, then Tara, then Anya, then Giles, then Dawn, and then Willow - Reader - Spike occurred in sequence. Had to do some editing to get them to flow on, but the beauty of the separated scenes meant that the internal monologue didn't have to be consistent between scenes. Each character's limited by what they know, which is most apparent in Giles's POV, given that he's interpreting Spike/Reader as a developing closeness rather than a secret affair masquerading as flirtation which I hope is what comes across. For authenticity, I tried to preserve the spelling, punctuation and grammar norms relative to the regions of origin for each character—everyone bar Giles and Spike have Americanised English (which I frequently stuffed up and have had to go back countless times and re-edit), while those two have good ol' British/Australian English. Not a thing most will notice, but I was determined to make that a thing, even if people don't necessarily think in words requiring correct spelling. Don't ask me why this was a compulsion, just blame my rampant autism.

I was mostly done with the fic by the time I started posting it on AO3. It came outta me with a quickness that I haven't had in a long time. I think it was mostly because I didn't really expect it to go anywhere initially; it was an itch to scratch like my other non-HotD fic dabblings, and I probably wouldn't finish it. Also, it didn't carry the burden of all these developed plot points as a brand-new fic, nor the weight of getting through the narrative arc due to the indeterminate time jumps and shifts in POV. Then I didn't really have any intention of posting it. Then it grew wings, and I decided to post on AO3 just because it seemed right to do. It actually wasn't well-edited the first go round, and I've gone back around 20 times since to change little bits that I didn't notice (I've since discovered that the easiest way for me to spot issues on my own is to post/draft it to AO3 and read it on my phone before bed, seems tired me is a picky beetch), which is annoying because I'm a perfectionist nutjob and the modern lingo did my head in a bit. I'm used to writing very floral, formal, medieval prose—very proper—and using all those contractions and incomplete sentences sent me 'round the bend. But CHARACTER CONSISTENCY, Em, CHARACTER CONSISTENCY. Must flagellate myself for the sake of realism. It helped to lean on over a decade's worth of fanfic consumption, some remembered and many hundreds not. I also think I've been a bit through the emotional/mental health wringer, so maybe there's an element of no-fuss-no-muss bleeding through? I dunno. Psychoanalysis isn't my strong suit.

I... think my answer's gotten away from me. Or maybe reads like I think I've created the next Iliad or something. Nah, it's just an excuse to write smut with one of my oldest platinum-blonde bad-boy-with-a-clear-lack-of-conscience crushes. It's nice to extend my writing abilities, diversify them a bit. I honestly didn't think I was going to move away from historical/fantasy fic, but I do have ideas for other stuff and it's cool so far getting to explore that. I struggle with single one-shots, so naturally I'm writing more to the story with a sequel. Much more direct, this next one—Spike POV only. It weaves back into some canon events, but brings up new stuff too in an attempt to generate more conflict and to showcase Spikeyboy being a kept house-husband, essentially. It ain't the chip in his head neutering him, it's the fact that his nuts are in Reader's little handbag. We see in Season 2 how over-the-top devoted he can get, and he never got the chance to show that with Buffy, so why not give him a gal just vulnerable enough for ol' Spike to swoop in and save the day for?

Anyway, yeah. There's my answer. I hope this is the deep-dive you were after, nonnie! Thanks for the question!

[themultifandomgal]

Tommy Shelby- Old Love Pt3

Pt1 Pt4

The following day I decide that I do need to speak to Tommy. So leaving Charlie at my parents house I pluck up the courage and head to the betting shop a place I know and remember all to well. On arrival I find John having a chat with Finn while they smoke

"Hey YN"

"Hi. Is Tommy here?" I ask nervously

"Yeah. In his office"

"Thanks"

"If I hear shouting I'll come and rescue you" John jokes. We always were quite close. I walk into the betting shop and over to Tommys office. Taking in a deep breath I knock on the door

"What?" I hear a grump Thomas shout

"Hey" I quietly say opening the door

"YN" his head snaps up. His eyes meet mine. Those damn eyes that I fell in love with. I quickly look away "what are you doing here?"I sit down in the chair in front of Tommys desk "everyone has told me we need to talk"

"What about you? Do you think we need to talk?" Tommy crosses his arms over his chest

"Yeah I do actually"

"Well" he gestures with his hand for me to continue

"I don't really know where to start"

"How about you start with the reason why you left"

"Is that a serious question Tom?"

"Of course it is" he raises his voice "you left when I needed you. You left with my son YN!"

"What about when I needed you Tom! What about when I was struggling after giving birth!" I stand up shouting

"I was a war!"

"So was I!" I close my eyes trying to stop tears

"What are you on about?" I sit back down in the seat. After a moment of silence I finally look back at Tommy

"Before you came home, I went to an asylum"

"What!" Tommy stand up looking furious

"After I had Charlie, I couldn't cope. Polly called it the baby blues, but it never went away. Our neighbours called the police because Charlie was crying and I wasn't doing anything. I was. I was trying to get him to be quiet but I just started to break down. They took me away, gave Polly custody of Charlie and I went to an asylum. Tommy it was horrible" I can no longer hold my tears back "they would shock me and prod me. Thankfully Polly got me out and I had custody of Charlie again. By the time you came home I blocked it all out. I had no feelings for Charlie for a while, when he cried I would sit there letting Polly or my mum care for him. I got better, but when you came home I had to look after you, it made me sad again"

"Fucking hell YN"

"When I saw you with the barmaid, it practically killed me Tom"

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"How could I. You were dealing with the shit after war. I was failing at being a mother. How do you tell the man you love, the father of your baby that you didn't love said baby. Of course I love him now, but I was struggling"

"I wish you had told me" Tommy sighs sitting back down

"I know. I'm sorry. Mum said something yesterday which made me realise that I've been blaming you for everything that happened but I didn't speak to you, I took your son from you and moved. I'm sorry"

"So what's going to happen now?" I shrug

"I'd like you to be apart of Charlie's life"

"What about where you live? Will you come back home?"

"No. We're divorced Tom. I'm not moving back in with you, but if things go well and we can get on, I'll move in with my parents"

"Ok" Tommy rubs his hands over his face "you know I never stopped loving you"

"What about when you slept with her, or god knows who else"

"I was trying to get over you. Never fell in love again"

"So you still love me?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do"

"I still love you too, but I can't just jump back into a life with you"

"I understand. Polly's having all of us for dinner tomorrow, come, bring Charlie and your parents. Let's just start with being friends again"

"I'll think about it. I best go" I get up from the seat

"Maybe see you tomorrow"

"Maybe" I leave Tommys office

"You left him alive in there?" Arthur asks

"Yeah don't worry. See you around" I wave the boys goodbye and leave the betting shop to go back to my parents house

[sukibenders]

(2) Instead we see laena feeling like a consolation prize (imo not even 2nd best) and trying to make peace with that, probably thinking she's lucky because considering the world they live in, 'it could've been worse'. She misses her family and has to comfort a daughter who thinks her dad doesn't love her for being dragonless, but when she tries to talk to daemon about how she feels he dismisses it, all because he's moping about rhaenyra. Don't get me started on how he laughed at her funeral, idc the reason, you bet he wouldn't have even thought of doing that if it were viserys or rhaenyra's funeral. He spent the day with his eyes glued to rhaenyra, his daughters abandoned in a corner (thank god for rhaenys) and finally he has sex with the woman whose shadow laena had to live under all those years. At laena's funeral, in her house, while her family is grieving for her. Daemon didn't show any respect for her; he might've been fond of her but did he love her? Idk, he definitely wasn't in love with her. Tbh i don't know if laena loved him either.

Imo they also missed a chance to show how alike daemon and laena were but only if we consider daemon's better character traits and when he's in his best behaviour. I guess you could say laena was a kindred spirit to daemon's better side, which can be compared to how he behaves around rhaenyra and in which ways those two are alike. Laena obviously didn't change daemon, she didn't make him better. But i think that in a way daemon's worst instincts were dormant around her (granted, in the book they were together only a few years and there were no external factors that brought daemon's bad side out). It even makes me think of laena's bond with vhagar, an ancient war machine who was drawn to darker characters than laena but was drawn to this spirited girl and spent their time together taking laena out for joyrides. It didn't last long and sadly vhagar went back to bonding with a darker character that rode her to war again.

Definitely, show Laena does give off the vibe of "could have been worse" in terms of her just "accepting" how her relationship with Daemon is (probably from having dodged the bullet of marrying Viserys in her mind) and, added on to the stress of her current pregnancy, probably was too tired to fight him and expected to do so after the birth (which we know didn't happen). It's sad because you can how alone she feels as taken from her family and can't even share her childhood home with her daughters (I fully believe that had she been able to return home, maybe even survived her pregnancy, she would have stayed back on Driftmark and never thought of leaving permanently again). It really boils my blood how we have Rhaena being ignored by her father for being dragonless when he loved her in the books. He would not do that. Him laughing at Laena's funeral would not have happened had it been Viserys or Rhaenyra, as you said, as he would have killed someone then and there had they done so. And him spending the day staring at Rhaenyra all throughout the funeral (not even hiding it because other people noticed) and leaving his daughters was so disrespectful, making matters worse when he sleeps with Rhaenyra (who was wrong for that too). Laena hadn't even reached the bottom of the ocean before they moved on. In context of the show, I'm not sure there was even respect for Laena after she died because if you respect someone then you definitely wouldn't of have done that at her funeral (not even including his treatment of her during their marriage as well).

Thank god for Rhaenys too, as you said, but even some of her character kind of has flaws when it has to center Daemyra (or just Rhaenyra). Because the pair [Daemyra] were not very smart to have gotten married literally, not only, after Laena was just put into the sea but Laenor was presumed dead as well with Rhaenys and Corlys discovering the body (that scene was wrong as hell too). It sends a very bad look and Rhaenys definitely was not feeling Rhaenyra after that. I also wished there was more anger from her towards Daemon because she would know fully well that the only thing stopping Laena from coming home, from bringing her daughters with her, would have been Daemon. And you know that if she caught wind of him ignoring Rhaena she would have swept her off to Driftmark with her sister in a heartbeat.

But back to another point that you said, op, that really got me thinking: both Laena and Rhaenyra bring out sides in Daemon that influence his character. Now, from what I've heard about her book characteristics, Rhaenyra is very different from her show counterpart and doesn't flinch at getting her hands dirty, for a lack of better words. In the show, while not the same, I do feel as though she brings out a side of Daemon that makes him brash and fiery. I saw a gifset edit of them standing side by side with her casually nodding to him before he does something reckless (she definitely nodded at him before he cut Vaemond in half) and that would have been even more interesting had we been given more scenes with Laena to parallel this. In the books, Laena doesn't seem to hold that darker energy as Rhaenyra, and this would contrast her well with Daemon. I see her holding him back from acting out violently, which is very smart in my opinion because having Rhaenyra be okay with his violent acts towards others doesn't seem very smart if you want people to back your claim for the throne. I see Laena calming the fire within Daemon without trying to smother it, but I also see him being surprised by her own (or, since the Velaryons are of the sea have him describe her with sea connotations like "she was as calm as the sea on a peaceful day, but don't let that overshadow how she could rage as it during the storm", like the sea is a force to be reckoned with too HOTD!) This could correlate well with what you had said about Laena's relationship with Vhagar, a dragon from a time period of huge war in not only Targaryen, but Westerosi history. A dragon known for her darker riders (eg. Visenya and Aemond) but allows Laena, who definitely isn't like them, to claim her. That within itself is a feat, but to have mentions of her being like the sea, as said earlier, it would have added more context. I kind of imagine it as those character dynamic drawing with three people where two have "look like they could kill you and would" being for Visenya and Aemond and then the third, in the middle, being "looks like a cinnamon roll but would actually kill you" for Laena. Like it also would have sweet to see how she and Vhagar interacted because, in comparison to her past and future rider, I feel like Laena's kindred spirit would have been a nice break for Vhagar.

While there isn't much to go on from their relationship in comparison to Daemyra's in the books, I think that could also work for their benefit. Granted, there wasn't a war happening, but if Laena didn't help ease his fire then I'm fairly certain there would have been insistent involving him during their time together aside from him killing Bravos. But that's just me personally.

Another thing that annoys me is how some in the fandom use the possibility of Laena and Rhaenyra being in love for the wrong reasons. Hear me out, I think the pair would be cute and I wouldn't mind Daemon's inclusion as long as Laena is cared for as well, but some in the fandom use this ship just as an excuse to hate Rhaenicent all the while not even caring about Laena (same with it just being Laena and Rhaenyra). Like they use Laena as a prop (and sometimes target for some toxic Rhaenicent stans) and it does her character and the actresses a disservice (sometimes harm because I know the hate actors and actresses can receive from ship wars especially if they are a woc).

[princessfaerygia]

my boyfriends really mad because bla bla bla. He keeps losing things and then freaking going haywire about it. I think it's cuz he's sleep deprived. He's mad because he asked me to make a path to move the hexagon table. So I put everything in trash bags and moved it to the back porch while he was on an errand. As I did it I was crying over him cus jus had argued. But apparently my clearing space was not to his liking at all. He says I betrayed him through apparently breaking his laptop (I did not knowingly do so) and also using trash bags when he specifically asked me not to. I just wanted to get the job done at the time and trash bags were efficient in that arena in my opinion. Because all his totes and containers were full. It's true I moved his laptop but I don't remember breaking it out of its wires like at all.

It's supposed to be freezing today and I can feel it. I just want to lay down and be warmed by blankets. But he says I don't help him. Well because you have a problem with anything I do. I'm just imperfect and don't do it to his standards or satisfaction.

I Realize many friends on here and in real life ask me to leave him . I consider such a life but as I've said I learned the hard way that others in my intimate life are not disposable. He is a full human being. He says I'm responsible for the fire inspection. Because I called cops on him. But my mom's friend Diane who coincidentally lives in the same apartment complex says everyone is getting an inspection. So I gather that it isn't my fault. I told him the information and he says it's still my fault cuz they didn't do it annually like this "before".

I am friends w hexafu again. Yay! I think she triple Gemini and I am currently wondering if I should have typed this out to her instead. I feel like y'all know this information already. And I'm like a broken music box droning on and on about my apparent incompetence w z.

Yes with man I almost always do not measure up. They "love" me anyway but it's like a pity party for them each time.

I've been in the restroom sitting on floor in darkness. I need space.

We were going to shower together. I literally had a whole bundle of bananas and 4 almond milk yogurts. Hopefully i don't eat anymore until dinner.

I'm sad cus mutual donno if she unfollowed got mad at me for speaking of my weight. Say she want to be as far away from eating disorders as possible. I dare to wonder why she followed me in the first place as I am constant in my eating disorder verbage.

Haven't been bulimic or eaten cheese danishes in some time now. It's crazy cus one day was at grocery store with Mom and neighbor maria. They had the juiciest most delectable looking cheese danishes that day. And I refrained from getting one.

I wish my BF would get some sleep. Tomorrow is a plan to go to his new storage unit. Admittedly I have large paranoid fear surrounding that. It's ummm. Scary. Because my password on one my phones is my birth year and the letter g. And because of g-unit the rapper~

I'm afraid and worried if I go i could be stored away and lost forever because I'm mother earth and zero force. Zero is the hero and such.

I'm on social security income and I know many men don't want to pay the taxes for it. I'm worried that I'm somehow sellable and for sale.

In my birth city Saint Louis, there's been much grafitti I feel directed at me. Such as "for rent" "4 rent" and "rent me" on trucks and motor operated things. Also in Saint Louis in an area I was living they kept doing the graffiti: "crop top"

It makes me feel as if I am time and space itself and they saw that I wear crop tops now lol. Like time is always at a standstill except for inertia or somethin. Sorry if I'm confusing. It's heavy content to digest. Also it is a bit ridiculous lol

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[occult-roommates]

Mom's new bestie

After work, Matteo came back home, with Daniele who wanted to spend the weekend with his family for once. He expected to see his mom, Isabella, busy designing new dresses somewhere in the house, but no, she was chatting on the couch, laughing with a woman he had never seen in his life. They clearly were in a deep conversation, so he didn't want to interrupt them, but he felt curious.

Matteo: Mom, who is that? Isabella: Matteo, this is Farida, I met her yesterday at the conference I attended about spellcastresses and matriarchy. Farida, this my son Matteo, I met him when I gave birth to him. Farida: Hi Matteo. Matteo: Are you really wearing that god awful hat again? Isabella: I am wearing it to show my support to you, because you are my son and I love you. Daniele: Yeah but he's right. Forest green with a ribbon the pastel color of the trans flag? Awful. Good message, but not a slay. Isabella: And this, Farida, is my homosexual nephew Daniele. I adopted him when his parents rejected him when he began losing his power as a child.

Whatever, Matteo can just go to his bedroom and let his mom be happy with her little new friend.

Daniele: You look familiar. I think I saw you somewhere before. Farida: Unlikely, last time I went to San Myshuno was in the 90s, unless you saw me elsewhere. I live in Oasis Spring. Daniele: I have a friend who's from there, his name is Dawud Sahan. Farida: ...That is the name of my son.

Oh, yeah that's right. Dawud had mentioned his mom was in town that week. What were the odd. Well, how funny it is that it seems like his aunt is getting along with her, the same way he's getting along with Dawud. Then, he went to his old bedroom too as he had nothing else to say.

Isabella: You didn't told me you had children. Farida: Oh, I only have one son too. I wanted at least two kids, and at least one daughter, but it never worked out. Isabella: And what about his father? Cause you mentioned you're single, so... Farida: Um, well he's dead, but I'm not really a widow. We divorced a few years before. It's sad, I really should have listened to my mother. Isabella: What do you mean by that? Farida: You see, my ex-husband and I were both born in the city of Basra, in Iraq, and we both moved to Arizona when we were children...Though we actually didn't met back then, as we grew up in different cities. My cousin, however, did grew up in the same as him and so, when I moved to Oasis Spring for college, my cousin made me met my ex right away. We fell in love pretty fast and six months later, we were married. I was 18, he was 19. My mom scolded me pretty hard, she could not stop us as we were adult even if very young one, but she believed I was worth better than getting married at that age. As to make this worse, I wanted children right away, while still in my freshman year of college. My mother was pissed, she did not abandonned her entire life for her daughter to be a housewife before turning 20.

"Thankfully", either her or Rashid probably had some fertility issues. She tried for years and years to get pregnant, and the few times she did succeed, it ended up having a miscarriage. At least, it gave her the time to graduate and start her adult life without also having to worry about taking care of an actual living baby. Then, shortly before her 7th wedding anniversary, Dawud was born.

However, since Farida really, really wanted a daughter, they went through the trouble of conceiving again. Then it happened, they were gonna have a girl aaaand...she was a stillborn. Every single dead fetus put an extra strain on their relationship, and now an actual dead baby was just the extra little thing to make their mariage also non-viable. This time, after seven years, they decided to divorce.

Isabella: Oh, I'm so sorry. It must have been so rough for you. Farida: Well, I'm fine now. I'm just sad I never got to have my own little girl. My best friend, who I met in a mommy group when I was expecting my son, had a girl and I'll admit, I've always been a little bit jealous of her. Isabella: But is your son healthy? Is he making you proud?

After a long moment of silence, Farida simply followed with:

Farida: ...I think he's healthy.

Prev - Next

[mistressofthemanor]

masterofthemanor

"And you wouldn't argue with that, right?" He peeved her further, seeing her smirk and knowing she had recognised the similarities between her and their daughter when it came to discipline and consistency, although, he'd have argued that Celeste was a tad bit stricter with Ariadnè than Narcissa used to be with her and Draco. Nevertheless, he didn't say that, for he didn't want Narcissa to get the wrong impression and think he'd considered her to be lacking in that department, which wasn't true, for in reality, he'd felt that while their daughter was a loving and a caring mother, she was a bit too hard on their granddaughter, enforcing more rules - even for food and dessert- than Narcissa had ever established for them. It was understandable though, if he really would have thought more about it from his wife's perspective when comparing them that way, he'd have quickly come to the conclusion that she was probably more lenient after some tears being shed by their children because of the difficulties they'd faced from conceiving the babies to her giving birth to them. Of course she couldn't punish them by sending them to their room without feeling guilty and sad when they were Ariadnè's age when all she wanted was to protect them from everyone, including her own wrath. They'd had different experiences, different circumstances and mindsets that resulted in differences in how they approached- and took up on the role. Letting out a half-relieved sigh when she'd confirmed that he had done the right thing and it was for the best he hadn't revealed to their daughter that it was Narcissa he'd rekindled his relationship with. At least she didn't blame him for being coward and further aggravate his guilt, which made it easier for him to listen to her and later to answer her. Nodding as she went on sharing her thoughts, he kept on staring at her with a careworn expression frozen on his features. As much as her declaration of him being a good example on preserving his patience in front of their children flattered him, he didn't say anything about it, for his mind was taken up by the rest of her words and he fully focused on them, hoping she might give an insight- a solution that hadn't occurred to him just yet. "She knows something is amiss, for sure... *sighs* She let me know that she's convinced she's onto something with more than words... I could see it in her eyes- hear the suspicion in her voice... *pauses for a moment before continuing his recollection of the events* For now, she's only said that she wasn't comfortable with me hiding someone... in fact, she said she didn't like it" He concluded, only for Narcissa to somewhat protect their daughter by excusing her behaviour with the fact that she wanted to protect him and that she was merely living by their teachings about loyalty. He wasn't happy about the fact that Narcissa assumed the same as him, that Celeste would release her wrath and aim it at her- as if he wasn't guilty as well, as if he didn't have a saying in them getting back together. It wasn't fair and he wanted to somehow prevent that. "No" He disapproved of her in a heartbeat, not even giving her suggestion a thought. "We are in this together, Narcissa. It's our decision we've made together... *he stated boldly, holding her gaze intently without moving his hand from beneath her touch* I don't want you to face her on your own and take the-" blame, he wanted to say, but quickly bit his tongue instead, realising that their relationship wasn't something he wanted to feel bad or guilty about. It wasn't a mistake and definitely not something they ought to be punished for. "We'll do it together. I owe this to the both of you" Shifting his hand away, but only so he could take hers into his properly, intertwining their fingers while doing so, he finished, his thought, making it clear that his decision was final and was non-negotiable.

She paused, brushing her thumb lightly over the back of his hand, grounding him as much as herself. “She’s not angry because it’s me. She’s angry because she knows something’s being hidden. That fear will be more prominent when she does find out that it is me. I am certain that if it was someone she didn't know and you professed your happiness for a stranger, Celeste would let her fear subside - maybe not immediately but she does want your happiness as much as I do but with me, there are concerns...worries." Narcissa let out a soft sigh, one of disappointment in herself for that being there in her daughter. However, there was something in Narcissa's eyes—measured, unwavering—that suggested she’d already made up her mind about who would speak to Celeste.

“Lucius,” she said softly, almost tenderly, “I hear you. And I love you for saying it. For refusing to let me shoulder the weight of this alone. But that’s exactly why I need to be the one to speak to her.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze—not to pull away, but to steady him, to prepare him for the shift in direction. “This isn’t about blame,” she continued, her voice calm and sure. “It’s not about taking the fall or protecting you. It’s about knowing her. I’m her mother. If I allow someone else to explain my return...," she trailed off and lowered her eyes, not sure if she knew how to best explain her feelings. She leaned forward slightly, still holding his hand, as her gaze sharpened with the clarity that only came from a lifetime of navigating delicate truths. “If you tell her, even with the best intentions, she’ll see it as a decision you didn't make with a clear head. That I swayed you. And you’ll become the buffer between her and me—again. That’s not what either of us needs. I broke her trust. I'm...I'm the one that left. I'm the one that has to regain what was lost between us, between the three of us. That’s a wound only I can speak to. And the only way to face her is to be honest." Before he could protest, she added with more gravity, “But I want you nearby. Not hidden, not quiet in the next room. Just… not at the centre of it. Not this time.” She shifted her hand slightly so their fingers laced again, more deliberate now. The thought of facing Celeste seemed terrifying to her but she also knew that it had to be this way. “Let me do this, Lucius. And after that… then we face her together.”

Bones of Contention

[mi4011mariaperera]

Off Topic - Movie Idea No. 1

02/05/2024

Hey guys! I'm back from my tooth filling and omg does it feel weird. Life is hard when your teeth suck..

Anyways, I'm going to type this movie idea real quick because I have a lot of work to do before tomorrow's lectures!

This idea is based off of one aspect of my life. To put it simply, My failed connection with a cousin.

For the sake of the story, I'm going to call her "Ruki".

Ruki and I are pretty much the same age and we have been neighbors since birth. We didn't get along so well even from small days. However, since I was the only child, she felt like a sister to me and I wanted to be close to her and get to know her. But she didn't really care much about me." Regardless of how many times I pulled off a mask, I only saw an empty face."

Fast forward to teenage years, I started to grow uncomfortable around her and her friends. Some of her friends are the so called "it girls" who used to be in my class. To be honest, even though these girls were pretty, they were a bunch of rude, judgmental, spoilt, rich brats who thought they could get away with their shitty behavior. I hate people like that. (In life, you should always stay humble. Karma's a bi***) I also felt like she would make use of any opportunity to put me down, regardless of whether it's intentional or unintentional. And I still can't fathom.....why???

But even now, in my early adulthood, I still feel nothing for her. No sadness that she's migrating and no sadness over the thought that I probably won't be seeing her for most of the family outing. But you know what's going to make me sound stupid? it's the fact that I'm not sad at all. The inner child in me just feels broken that I couldn't do anything to connect with her. That I couldn't see her real face.

But that's the harsh reality of growing up, no matter how much you tried to connect with people, at the end of the day, if they see you as no one important to them, then it's time to move on. otherwise, you will be too blind to see the people who do care about you, the people who see you as someone valuable, the people who want to trust you and open up to you and the people who want to be your real family.

I would love to create a movie that teaches the audience this kind of moral. I'm pretty sure there are so many people who can relate to me. Maybe they loved a friend so much, but that friend was toxic and would always talk down on them. I feel like there would be so many people who would be touched by such a story.

It would mean the world for me to create such a movie because I would know how to add in the raw emotions to make this realistic enough to touch the audience. Maybe shed a few tears? (Am I going too far with my train of thought? Maybe...)

Anyways, that's basically it for this post. I don't know if I would ever get the opportunity to work on this story, but I might as well blog about it :D

And as always, Thank you for reading this post! Have a fantastic day!!!