#it's really not helping the allegations that cancel and purity culture are just ways people can bully others in a socially approved way

[silvermoon424]

This is a prime example of how social media and internet clout-seeking has absolutely DESTROYED some people's sense of empathy. A famous TikToker had her newborn baby die of SIDS, and for some fucking reason people decided it would be a great time to cancel her for problematic stuff she'd said in the past. Someone crashed the baby's funeral to vlog it and shit on the mother.

I will say that I think some of the mother's past behavior warrants an apology, but I can't get over how ghoulish it is to drag someone whose baby just died. And how much of an actual fucking freak you'd have to be to vlog and try to get clout off of a baby's funeral. I'm the furthest thing from a luddite, but Jesus, social media has really set us back as a species.

[saucerfulofsins]

Of course, there are many ways to approach this, and I know you're talking hockey specifically but I think this holds true for any person you like and/or admire in fandom (in real life would be a bit different). I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who has been in quite a few different fandoms since 2006, including several with people who would certainly be dubbed "problematic" these days.

For posterity's sake, I'm going to assume here that there is a personal response to some level/some concern about the person's actions, as presumably you wouldn't care if there wasn't.

So, the first thing I think is important to keep in mind is to realize that there is nothing much we as fans can do to change the person's behaviour. We're not their friends. I'm saying this because it means that we ourselves are not for their behaviour accountable in any way whatsoever. There is a large degree of separation between ourselves and the people we admire/ship, and that sometimes is lost in fandom spaces, where the people we talk about are considered a reflection of our own personality. They are not. I view them as "shells" with some level of personality (which is not necessarily reflective of their true selves). We use those shells to play with the way a kid would play with Barbies or Bionicles or Lego.

Fandom, however, has a tendency to hold us accountable for these peoples' actions, because there is the impression that we are condoning certain actions/allegations/etc. simply because we write about them. This falls in line with purity/cancel culture rhetorics, where one bad thing seems to "infect" all else a person pursues, to a ridiculously toxic degree.

Because of that, the first and most important question I think you should ask yourself is whether you are comfortable still shipping/reblogging these people - and if you're uncomfortable, how much of that discomfort is internal and how much of it is the external pressure of the fandom purity police. In the end, it's about how you feel about the person. Do they do something that makes you fall out of love with them, and you don't want to reblog them or write about them etc.? Absolutely fine! However, if part of a fandom of some rabid anons say "you cannot reblog A because he did xyz" and the fear of being judged by those people withholds you from posting, that means you're not going by your own comfort but you're doing this based on other peoples' comfort levels. Personally, I think those people can fuck off, and I don't think anyone should let people like that inform their fandom experience. It's not worth it.

However, when I do experience discomfort around a person's actions... I'd much rather discuss it than immediately "cancel" them, stop reblogging them, etc. Why does what they did make me uncomfortable or upset? That helps me make an informed decision, and it helps to not brush the situation under the carpet. Consequently, there remains the possibility for a person to make amends (i.e. Kaner stopped drinking after 2015). After all, we're talking about real people here, and no one is perfect.

However... I don't really believe in disclaimers. Like. To me it just feels like a performative act to quiet someone's conscience (whether that be your own or the rebloggers/likers). If it's your own, it'd be far more helpful to look at why you feel guilty or shameful enough to post a disclaimer, yet comfortable enough to reblog anyway. If it's other people's... Fuck them. You get to do what you want!

So. I believe in acknowledging what happened. I believe in talking about what happened. I believe in not swiping it under the rug. But I think those conversations need to be more than a disclaimer, because in truth, disclaimers say very little.

In the end, obviously any response is valid if it's your choice. I just think the choices you make cannot and should not be influenced by what people might think of you, or by guilt and shame for a situation you can't change. I also think disclaimers or ceasing to reblog them entirely is a lot less effective than opening up the discussion around it. Hell, that's why I prefer the Blackhawks inner circle. Not because people act like nothing happened (although I can see how people looking in from the outside might see it that way) but because it can be and is being discussed. Yes, people left the fandom in 2015. That is their right and I won't hold that against them. Yes, more left during the Kyle Beech situation in 2021. I won't hold that against those who did, either.

Any choice you make is the right one if it's the choice you feel best about. At the same time, though, feeling like it's the right thing to post a disclaimer or stop posting because some dude is considered problematic for whatever reason troubles me... and I'm italicising the word because both fandom's and any individual's perception of what behaviour is problematic or unacceptable changes all the fucking time.

So yeah. Navigate your own feelings, confront what's difficult unless it's too difficult to confront, but also keep in mind that the choice to reblog some silly man on skates who's maybe done some bad things doesn't reflect on your person (or shouldn't), and stopping to reblog him doesn't change shit so if it makes you happy, why stop anyway tbh.

Hey Hockey fans! I wanna do a bit of research for an infopost I'm considering making. So here's a genuine question because I've been thinking about it for a while: When a player, especially one you've admired for a while, is revealed to be someone problematic (bigoted, abusive, or just a questionable history in general), how do you approach that (Especially when it comes to fanart, fanfic and just... generally posting about them?). Approaches can range from anything from ceasing about posting them (outside of occasional reblogs) or continuing to post them but adding a disclaimer. Additionally, what advice would you give to new hockey fans regarding such players? Hell, I'm actually interested in some advice as well, considering my own habit of posting problematic players (something I admittedly feel slightly conflicted about, especially as a young hockey fan who's still learning about the sport and it's culture).

Tagging for reach: @catboygretzky @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @sergeifyodorov @tapejob