#it's really got my anxiety all through the roof

[venusdebotticelli]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M, Multi

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death), Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death), Israel Hands, Fang (Our Flag Means Death), Frenchie (Our Flag Means Death), Other Character Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Time Travel, Crack Treated Seriously, Character Study, Humour, Identity, Self-Worth Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Acceptance, POV Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Unreliable Narrator, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Deserves Nice Things, Young Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Has ADHD, (just like in canon. especially obvious since this is his pov anyway), Post-Season/Series 01, Co-Captains, Established Relationship, post-reunion, Man cheerfully bullies himself, Despite his best efforts it results in some genuine self-reflection, Aging, And the pains of having to witness it on yourself with no previous warning, Canon-Typical Historical Inaccuracy (Our Flag Means Death), The Arcane Ways Of The Sea, Cats may possibly be witches, Illiterate Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Literate Blackbeard | Edward Teach, He contains multitudes what can I say?, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Beta Wanted

"Fuck me!" Ed says when he finally takes in the situation. The situation in question seemingly being a younger version of himself, mid-twenties, right on the prime of the whole Blackbeard schtick, crouched defensively on deck and surrounded by half of the Revenge's crew. The Babybeard, for his part, has been shrewdly sizing him up, trying to be all subtle about it, but now makes a show of dubiously eyeing him up and down. "Seems to me you'd be getting the better end of that deal, Old Man." Oh, he is absolutely fucking delightful, all wound up and prickly and still convinced he has shit-all to prove to anyone at all. Ed is going to have so much fun crushing his entire worldview! "Aww, don't dismiss the value of experience," he winks, "I know a lot more about what you like than you do." He punctuates this with a delicate sip of his tea, pinky out, an airy swish of the sleeve of his wrapping gown. ~ The Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard has been living in kinda-retired bliss for a couple of years now, mostly going by Ed these days and enjoying a spoiled and pampered life as The Infamous Captain Edwards's co-captain, when he is abruptly faced with his worst and most fucking annoying foe yet: Himself.

[fern-mage]

hi do not mind how sometimes i accidnetly reblog here instead of my personal blog and leave it for 700 days because i do not realize i did that until.. 700743958439058354 days later

[kkujo]

and everything has consistently sucked since we got back from that trip.. not a week after that i got covid and was really sick the beginning of august was truly the last time i felt properly happy. word

[lamiadrowned]

Hellooo! those jinx dating headcanons were so cute, could you maybe expand on Silco meeting Jinx's partner? 🩷

*:･ﾟ✧ silco meeting jinx’s partner

jinx x fem!reader | sfw

this made me so happy to write, the flashback we got of younger silco is heavy on my mind :,) missing him

it would definitely be a lot less intimidating than you’d expect!

in the month or so that you’ve been with jinx, silco isn’t immediately distrusting of you since she talks often about how great you are. not only that, but he can see the difference you’ve made in her life and her mental state. how cheery she becomes when she talks about you. how big her smile gets when he asks about you.

however, it seems she’s a bit embarrassed at the idea of introducing him to you. so, being the protective father that he is, he takes the initiative.

one day, as you’re heading home from work, you quickly reach for the switchblade in your back pocket when you feel a hand on your shoulder behind you.

you turn around to see there’s a woman (who is considerably taller and buffer than you) standing there, clearly surprised to see a knife pointed at her. “my name is sevika, i’m here on behalf of silco. he wants to see you in his office before the day ends. is now a good time?”

thankfully, you recognize the name. jinx had talked about going on a few missions with her. you lower your knife and shrug. “uh… yeah. yeah, now’s fine. lead the way.”

she nods and proceeds to walk with you a few streets down to the building, offering some polite conversation and reassurance– this meeting is solely for the purpose of introducing himself to you, since his daughter won’t.

she takes you to the door of silco’s office, opening it for you and wishing you good luck.

you don’t immediately see silco, but you do hear his voice. “take a seat wherever you’d like.”

once sevika shuts the door behind you, you take a deep breath and follow his instructions; sitting down at his desk and watching his own chair spin around so that he can finally come face-to-face with you.

your anxiety is through the roof and your heart won’t slow down no matter how many deep breaths you take, but you’re able to muster a polite smile.

he sees right through it, though. of course. like father, like daughter. “you seem frightened. i apologize if sevika gave you a scare.“

“oh, no– she was really nice. it’s just… i wasn’t expecting a meeting with the kingpin of the underground today.” you joke.

he laughs, which makes you a bit more comfortable. “another apology is in order, then. i know this is sudden, but jinx… she gets so bashful at the idea of introducing us. i figured, why don’t i take the big leap?”

you nod. “yeah, of course. she talks very highly of you.”

“and you, as well. she talks my ear off, a million words a minute if she finds a way to bring you up.” silco shakes his head with a growing smile. “it’s impressive, how quickly she’s become smitten with you. i’d think you were a sorceress if i didn’t know any better.”

you’re flattered by his kind words, and a bit excited by the fact that she seemingly talks about you so much. you must be doing something right.

the two of you continue on as you answer all of the questions he asks about your upbringing and your current life, and you ask questions about his. it almost begins to feel like you’re talking to an old friend, not the most feared and influential man in the lanes.

however, at one point, he suddenly becomes very serious.

“now, i feel this is an appropriate time to tell you this. you seem to be a genuinely good person, which is all too rare these days.” silco sighs. then, he clasps his hands together and casually leans forward onto the desk, resting his chin on his fists. “with that being said, if i ever come to find out that you have made my daughter suffer in any way, you will never know peace again. do i make myself clear?”

your eyes widen. you’re finally starting to see why the entire population of zaun is scared witless by him. “understood. it will never come to that, though. i can only hope you take my word for it.”

silco nods in approval of your answer. he’s very impressed by your ability to remain calm in the face of his intimidation. it only proves to him that you’re as good as you seem, and that your intentions are pure– you have nothing to hide.

after a brief silence, he opens his mouth to speak again, but he’s interrupted by the sound of his office door slamming open.

“she’s missing!”

you’re shocked to hear jinx. she sounds frantic, voice hoarse and pitchy, like she can’t contain her terror. “i checked everywhere, high and low! we need to send one of your goons to–”

she’s silenced when she sees you turn around in your chair and meet her glare. her look of horror turns into one of confusion. “what the hell is going on here? is this an intervention?”

you snort at her question, patting the chair next to you, inviting her to come sit down. her shoulders slump and she lets out a dramatic huff as she sulks over to sit beside you. her arms cross defensively. “i don’t know what you weirdos think i did, but those fireworks going off last night were not mine, and to be frank, it’s kind of offensive that you’d assume i–”

“jinx, if you don’t mind,” silco puts a hand up, imploring her to stop talking. “we’ll talk about those fireworks later.”

“what?! i just said they weren’t mine.” jinx scoffs.

“you ramble when you lie. don’t you think i’d know that by now?” silco sighs. “that’s beside the point. since you had no plans to introduce me to y/n, i decided to introduce myself.”

you hum in confirmation. “that’s all. no intervention.”

it takes jinx a long moment to process this information; it seems as if she forgot silco has eyes everywhere, and when he wants something done, it will be done.

you’re almost expecting her to be upset before a beaming smile replaces the scowl on her face. “un-fuckin’-believable! i’m searching all over zaun for you, while you’re here, kicking back with him?!” she points in his direction.

“precisely.” silco steps in for you, aware that this is one of those times where she is very happy, yet tries to pretend that she is very upset. “if it’s of any reassurance to you– to both of you– this relationship has my badge of approval.”

instantly, you feel a sense of pride in knowing that you’d made such a good impression on him. he’s a man that’s very hard to impress, as far as you’ve heard.

you reach for jinx’s hand and squeeze it. her smile is almost as big as yours now. “look at that. i aced the big interview, and i haven’t gone missing.“

[penkura]

Our Angel

Summary: Sanji can't believe how lucky he is to have you and this little baby you brought into the world.

Warning: Mentions of giving birth, pregnancy discussion, loving husband Sanji :3

Note: Ahh the final one-shot I have done from the 'knowing' universe! :') I wrote this after the last one, and it's long but also one of my favorites. I love writing Sanji, please let me write more for him.

How much longer? How much longer??

Sanji's anxiety was through the roof as he paced back and forth in front of the infirmary door. You were finally in labor and Chopper and Robin had kicked him out of the room, thinking he was making you more stressed than your contractions were. He could hear them guiding you through the next contraction and telling you to start pushing, and he really, really wanted a cigarette for the first time in months.

He desperately wanted to be in there with you, but didn't want you more stressed than you already were. Sanji believed it couldn't be too much longer, but also wasn't entirely sure. Labor could last hours or even multiple days, yours was progressing quickly though, and it wouldn't be long before you met your baby face to face. Sanji leaned against the door, holding his breath without realizing it, just waiting and listening.

And a few moments later, he finally released his breath when he heard a baby's cries, standing up straight and facing the door, his anxiety finally being taken off his shoulders. He could hear Robin and Chopper congratulating you and telling you that you did amazingly, but he couldn't hear if they said whether you had a boy or girl, or how the baby was doing. The cries though told him that your newborn was doing just well, they were very upset to be in the world now, but it would be all right over time.

After several more minutes of waiting and his anxiety picking up again, Sanji was beyond glad to see the infirmary door open and Robin giving him a smile.

"You can come back in now."

He didn't need to be told twice, quickly entering the room and hurrying to your side, making you laugh when he got to you, dropping to his knees beside your bed and taking your hand before hugging you as close as possible.

"Sanji~"

"I'm so glad you're okay! Both of you!"

Sanji started kissing you all over your face, making you laugh lightly until you both heard a small cry, which made him freeze a bit before looking at your little baby resting comfortably on your chest. Seeing the tears start to well up in his eyes made you smile softly before you looked back at your newborn child.

"What do you think?"

"They're…perfect."

"Isn't she?"

"She?!"

Laughing again you nodded. Through the later months of your pregnancy, Sanji made it clear how badly he wanted and hoped you were having a girl. When your baby first kicked, there was so much excitement between the two of you that he inadvertently called them she, surprising you until you questioned him about it.

"She?"

"...I said they."

"No, Sanji, you said she." You giggled a bit seeing how embarrassed he was at letting his wish for a daughter out like that. "You think we're having a girl?"

"I…hope we are."

You definitely had realized, even before then, that Sanji would be a great girl dad, and now he could prove that to you with your newborn daughter. Just the fact he seemed hesitant to even touch her tiny hand for a second told you he was going to be the most protective dad you'd ever met.

"She looks exactly like you, Sanji."

"She…she really does." Sanji finally reached out and barely brushed your daughter's cheek with his knuckle, which made her move just a bit. She looked like she was his clone almost. The same blonde hair, same curled eyebrows. She basically got nothing from you and everything from your husband, but you didn't really mind it. You might get lucky and she'd get your eye color, but even then it would be all right if not.

She was still your perfect little daughter.

"Can I," Sanji pulled you from your thoughts, nervously biting his lip a bit while looking from your daughter to you, "can I hold her…?"

"Of course!"

Nerves started bubbling up, but Sanji let you show him the best way to hold your daughter. He held her close, keeping one of his hands under her head to give her more support, while she started to whine when she was moved from you to him. You weren't at all surprised when Sanji started to gently hush her, kissing her forehead and softly telling her that she was all right.

"Yeah, it's ok, sweetheart. Daddy's got you, angel."

Your daughter calmed down almost immediately, opening her eyes to try and focus on Sanji, and it nearly took his breath away to see her looking up at him. This was what you two had waited the last nine months for. To finally see and meet your daughter face to face, and here she was! A precious, beautiful little angel that fit perfectly in his arms and looked at him like he was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen (which, granted, she'd really only seen you and Sanji, but it still meant everything to him). You just watched as Sanji stared at her and she stared back at him, before she yawned and snuggled herself more comfortably in his arms, you noticing how his bottom lip was trembling while he watched her fall asleep, kissing her forehead again and whispering how much he loved your sweet little girl.

"[Y/N]...thank you so much for her."

Hearing how strained Sanji's voice was made you smile softly, knowing he was fighting to not start crying. Not right now, he didn't want to wake your daughter or cause her any distress.

"What do you think we should name her?"

"I…I'm not sure, love."

"Well, I have an idea."

+!+

When you had gone into labor, the rest of your crewmates were off the ship. You'd docked at an island the day before and they'd all gone to explore a bit, pick up a few things, and let the log pose reset. You had hoped to go later in the day but obviously things had changed and you wouldn't be joining anyone on this island this time. Robin and Chopper had stayed behind just in case, since you were near your due date anyway and it was a good thing they did.

Once Luffy and the others got back, they were surprised Robin was the only one on the deck of the Sunny waiting for them. Luffy of course was the one to ask, running up to Robin and asking if you were sleeping or something. You'd normally be on the deck waiting for everyone, so it was weird they didn't see you this time.

Robin smiled a bit, "Well I assume she is by now. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl while you all were gone."

Everyone was completely silent, expecting Robin to say she was just kidding to get a rise out of them.

"I'm not joking by the way."

With that statement there were shouts from Usopp, Luffy, and Nami, the latter of the three running for the infirmary right away saying she needed to see her niece. Not even having seen your daughter yet but being happy for you, Franky and Brook were in tears, while Zoro smiled a bit and Jimbei gave a smile and a nod.

"Sounds like the crew has expanded by one then."

Luffy and Usopp were quick to follow after Nami, nearly breaking down the infirmary door asking to see your daughter.

You were actually wide awake, holding your daughter and showing her off to Nami who was cooing softly towards her.

"What a little cutie, yes you are! Aunt Nami is going to buy you lots of cute dresses!"

You laughed a bit while your daughter stared up at Nami, seeming to be completely amazed by her. "You wanna hold her?"

Nami was about to respond when Luffy pushed past her, getting up close to see your daughter. "She's so small!"

"Luffy!" Sanji grabbed your captain by the back of his shirt and started pulling him away. "Get out of her face! You're going to scare her and make her cry!"

"No I'm not!"

"Hey guys."

"Yes you are!" Honestly Sanji trusted Luffy a lot, but he needed to learn boundaries, especially with a newborn baby.

"Nuh-uh! She's gonna think I'm funny!"

"Boys."

"And if she doesn't?!"

"Then…then…I don't know?"

"Idiots!" Nami was close to bashing both their heads in, but her outburst got their attention. "You're both about to make her cry!"

Sanji looked over and saw you gently hushing your daughter who was starting to whine and whimper like she was about to cry, him rushing over by your side to help with quiet, sweet words that he was sorry and didn't mean to be loud.

"My apologies, Angel. I didn't mean to startle you."

Once she calmed back down, you let Usopp and Luffy come over and see her, both of them looking amazed by how small she was. Luffy kept begging to hold her, Nami telling him she had first dibs, and Usopp asking how you both were. Your other crewmates joined you all after a bit, Brook offering to start playing a lullaby to keep your baby girl calm while Franky was crying about how super it was to meet her finally. Robin returned to make sure you weren't getting overwhelmed, and Chopper wanted to do another check on your daughter to be certain she was doing all right. Jimbei gave you his congratulations and said you'd had a beautiful baby, while Zoro mostly stayed to the side, but he did smile just a bit, glad for you to have safely delivered your baby.

You were doing well with everyone there, answering questions and letting each of your crewmates see your daughter up close, they all took turns briefly holding her since they knew that, obviously, they'd have plenty of chances to do so in the future. Once Nami got a hold of her a second time, she refused to let her go to anyone that wasn't you or Sanji. She was going to absolutely spoil your daughter and everyone could see that.

"Hey hey," Luffy latched onto your arm, giving you a big grin, "what'd you guys name her??"

The small bits of chatter quieted hearing Luffy's question, most of your friends looking at you or Sanji for an answer. Nami still had your daughter in her arms, very gently bouncing the sleeping newborn.

You smiled at Sanji with a slight nod, him returning the gesture to speak up.

"We've decided to call her Angel. After calling her that while [Y/N] was pregnant, it…it felt right."

Truthfully you had offered to name her after Sanji's mother, whether you'd had a boy or girl, and he almost took you up on it, but felt that for now, he'd wanted to give your child their own, unique name. He really did greatly appreciate you wanting to honor his mother, but didn't feel ready for that yet. And like he'd said, you two had called your daughter an angel the whole time you were pregnant, actually naming her Angel felt like the right thing to do and you both thought it sounded wonderful when you decided.

"What a sweet name." Robin smiled and nodded, the rest of your crewmates agreeing with her.

After some time Chopper said you needed rest and it was close to dinner time, making Sanji nod.

"I'll go get something started for–"

"Nope!" Shaking her head, Nami handed Angel back to Sanji to stop him. "We'll take care of dinner and bring you guys some; you stay with your wife and daughter, Sanji!"

With a grin she left the infirmary and headed straight for the kitchen, everyone else following shortly after her, once they'd given you another congratulations and said goodnight to their niece. Seeing the shocked look on Sanji’s face made you laugh once everyone else had left.

“...did I just get banned from my own kitchen?”

+!+

The rest of the evening went by smoothly and quietly for your little family. Nami had sent Zoro to bring you and Sanji dinner once it was done, and you were grateful for having so many people to take care of your family while you recovered. Chopper came in a few times to check up on you and Angel, making sure both of you were doing well before he headed off to bed, telling Sanji to come get him if anything happened. After you had dinner and nursed Angel again, you went and took a quick shower, leaving Sanji with your daughter which made him terribly nervous even though he knew it was only going to take you a few minutes to shower. All he did the whole time you were gone was watch her sleep. You'd given her a pacifier to hopefully keep her calm and sleeping, and it did work. Sanji was just so enthralled with her, gently hushing her and stroking her chubby cheek whenever she started to fuss a little.

"Hey it's alright, don't cry. Mommy will be back soon, daddy's got you for now."

When you did get back, you held back a laugh seeing Sanji was nearly asleep while holding Angel. Quietly, you went over and took her from him, waking your sleepy husband and telling him it was just you, you were going to get Angel to bed so you both could sleep. While Sanji followed your lead and went to take a shower himself, you got Angel ready for bed and comfortable in a bassinet near you, she was sleeping soundly and you knew she'd wake at some point in the night, but until then, you'd watch her sleep and hold her little hand, making sure she knew you weren't going anywhere.

"I love you so much, Angel," leaning over, you placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "I'm so glad you're ours."

Once he came back from his own shower, Sanji wasn't even the slightest bit surprised to find you already asleep, still holding your daughter's hand. You'd had quite a day, having pushed a whole new person out into the world, nursing her multiple times, and having to deal with your anxious crewmates for several hours after they got back. It was a wonder you'd stayed awake as long as you had! Sanji knew he was staying with you in the infirmary as long as Chopper made you and Angel stay there, so he did the same as you and kissed your daughter's forehead, before slipping into your bed beside you, bringing you close to him and kissing your cheek once he did.

"I'm so proud of you, [Y/N]. You've been amazing today."

You shifted a bit, making Sanji smile when you told him you loved him before falling back fast asleep.

"I love you too…both of you."

+!+

Your sweet little Angel had grown so much in the last three years. She had ended up with your eye color, which made you beyond happy that she'd gotten something from you. She'd learned to walk, talk, and had the brightest smile and giggles on the Sunny, apart from Luffy that is. She really was an angel to everyone, but especially you and Sanji.

Her first steps weren't really because of you or Sanji, it was Luffy and Usopp trying to get her to start taking a few on her own. She'd been able to walk a slight bit at the time with someone holding her hands, but not on her own yet. You absolutely trusted Usopp and Luffy with her (despite how many times Luffy tossed her into the air and caught her, the fear you felt the first time made you consider leaving), they were helping Angel learn to walk under your watch, you were sitting nearby on a lounger with Sanji, who was slightly nervous watching them. Honestly Sanji was the more nervous parent at times, but you knew he just wanted Angel to be as safe as possible while you all traveled the seas.

"Come onnnnn, you can do it, Angel!" Luffy grinned at her with his arms wide open, while Usopp had a hold of her hands, keeping her standing up. Angel frowned a bit, tears welling up in her eyes when she tried to reach for Luffy but couldn't grab him. He was only a few feet away, he'd easily be able to hurry over and lift her up, but your captain also really wanted to see her take her steps on her own.

"You wanna try, Angel?" Usopp smiled and let go of one of her hands to ruffle her hair a bit, which made her whine slightly. Luffy took two very small steps forward, arms still wide open and grinning.

"You can do it!"

Angel kept reaching her free hand towards Luffy, before she looked at her feet and took a step, looking back at him while she started to walk on her own once Usopp let go of her hand.

Watching your then nine-month-old daughter take her first solo steps caused you to tear up while Sanji was beaming with pride. Angel made it over to Luffy on her own, and once she did, he scooped her up in his arms with loud laughter.

"Yahoo, you did it, Angel!!"

"Good job! Next you'll be running around the ship!"

Angel giggled loudly while Luffy tossed her gently into the air. After the one time he threw her too high up causing you and Sanji to threaten him he'd been more careful, especially seeing how much she enjoyed being tossed up and caught. After that, she started following you and Sanji like a duckling, eventually getting to where she was running around the Sunny, either chasing someone or being chased with loud laughter.

When she said her first word, you weren't even on the ship. You had gone into town with Franky and Jimbei when you landed on an island, checking the place out to see what stores they had and how long it would take the log pose to reset. You'd left Angel on the ship with Sanji, and while he was grateful for the time with your daughter, he was also trying to figure out what groceries he needed to go shopping for the next day. Nami offered to entertain Angel while he checked the pantry and fridge, taking her out to the deck for some sun and to play with her.

"You are just so cuuuuuute! You got your daddy's hair and eyebrows but your mommy's face!"

Angel smiled and giggled a bit at Nami, covering her mouth with her little hands. At this point she was already 18-months-old, but hadn't said her first word just yet. You weren't very concerned, knowing it would happen when it happened, but every evening when the three of you went to your room, Sanji would sit with Angel on your bed and try to get her to say something more than her toddler babbling.

"Come on, sweetheart. Can you say dada?"

Angel babbled, no discernable words coming from her mouth while she smiled and reached at Sanji.

"Then…mama?"

"Mmmm….mmmm…." She pressed her lips together before sticking her tongue out.

You laughed, shaking your head. "I don't think she's ready yet, Sanji."

Nami had given Angel a coloring book and some crayons to entertain herself, especially once she started talking with Zoro about the money he owed her.

"I'm just saying, if you leave me with a little of your allowance every time we dock, you'll be paid off in no time!"

"How much is a little?"

"Mmm," Nami thought for a second, patting Angel on the head when she smiled at her, "about 300 berries."

"That's a tenth of what you give me!"

"Yeah, and?"

Zoro's eye twitched slightly, obviously annoyed by this. It wasn't his fault all the stuff he normally bought was expensive, or that he spent a decent bit of it on booze!

The two argued a bit more while Angel watched them, giggling a bit when Zoro lifted her up.

"Wait, where are you taking her?!"

"Nap time. Right, tiny cook?"

"Nap!"

Nami and Zoro both stared at Angel in surprise, your daughter yawning a little and sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"Did she just…?"

"She did! Sanji!!"

Hearing Nami yell for him, Sanji dropped what he was doing and ran out to the deck instantly. "What's wrong?!"

"Listen, listen!!" Nami turned back to Angel and Zoro, telling him to say what he did before.

"Hey, it's nap time, right?"

Angel nodded. "Nap!"

Hearing her say an actual word, not toddler babbling, made Sanji's jaw drop and he started to tear up a bit. "Y-Yeah! It's nap time, Angel!"

Honestly it was an odd first word, but when you heard her say it, it made you smile and hug her close, kissing her chubby cheeks and telling her how proud you were. After that, the words came more easily and she quickly realized she knew who mama and dada were, and started calling you and Sanji whenever she needed you. She eventually had nicknames for everyone so she could call them easily, and your crewmates accepted them instantly.

As she got older, turning three more recently, you'd become even more amazed with your daughter and how she was becoming her own person. She was a giggly mess most days, loved fruit over every other food, and took naps almost as often as Zoro. They had become napping buddies much to Sanji's chagrin, but he eventually accepted since Zoro would bring Angel to one of you once she was awake.

Nami made good on her promise to buy Angel lots of cute dresses, your daughter's wardrobe was better than yours. Robin would sit and read with her until she fell asleep most nap times, if Zoro wasn't around at the moment. Usopp and Luffy would play games like tag or hide and seek with her, one of them always having Angel on their shoulders in a team up against the other. Chopper would join them most of the time, or he and Angel would play on the swing or in the kiddy pool together. Franky made Angel new toys constantly, only with your approval did he give them to her. Brook would play whatever song or lullaby Angel wanted to hear, or do his infamous 45 Degrees to make her burst out laughing. Jimbei would tell her (along with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper) various stories he had from before he joined you all, and she loved every one of them.

Despite your love for your crewmates, you had more enjoyed introducing Angel to the Baratie crew over everyone else. After your pregnancy was confirmed, Sanji had given them a call, speaking to Zeff before anyone else and letting him know he was going to, basically, be a grandfather. It became so quiet that you and Sanji both wondered if the connection got severed, before hearing Patty yell asking why Zeff was crying over the transponder snail receiver. It made Sanji tear up worse than when you told him you were definitely pregnant, and he had to give you the receiver to tell the rest of the Baratie crew. When they all heard, they cheered and gave congratulations to you and Sanji, a few of them saying you absolutely had to stop by once the baby had been born. Once Angel was born, you sent over all the pictures you took of her so everyone at Baratie could see her as she grew up. Eventually your ship made it back to the East Blue and the Baratie, around the time of Angel's second birthday, which Zeff demanded you to celebrate there once you arrived. You dressed her in a cute little, frilly pink dress that Nami had gotten her, and knew Sanji was anxious for everyone to meet the both of you properly. Of course, you'd been with the Straw Hats already when you'd been by and recruited Sanji, but things had moved so fast back then that formal introductions were an afterthought. Now that Sanji was back with you as his wife and with his little daughter, it was definitely nerve-wracking for him.

Well, it was until the three of you stepped inside and all the chefs quickly rushed to see Angel, all of them fawning over and doting on her. Almost all his nerves went away as Patty, Carne, and the others tearfully loved on your daughter and introduced themselves to both of you properly. Angel became shy with so many new faces, reaching for Sanji to take her from you which he did, and she hid her face in his shoulder.

"Aww come on little one, what's wrong?"

"She's just overwhelmed. It's too many people at once."

Hearing that, most of the Baratie chefs dissipated in order to let Angel relax again, the only one coming up to the three of you was Zeff himself, bringing back Sanji's nerves.

"Well, the baby eggplant has his own baby eggplant now."

"Watch your mouth with my daughter, crap geezer." The smiles on both their faces told you all was well, this was the norm between Sanji and Chef Zeff. Sanji got Angel's attention to get her to lift her face from his shoulder, pointing her view to Zeff. "This is your grandad, Angel."

Angel blinked a little, not the slightest bit scared and reached for Zeff, knowing it was safe because Sanji said so. Once Zeff had a hold of her, Angel just smiled and giggled, giving him a loose hug. It made him turn away from both of you, confusing you the most, until you heard Carne shout that Zeff was crying again and got to be the first to hold Angel. You laughed when you noticed Sanji had turned away as well, fighting his own tears. The rest of your visit was less tearful, filled more with laughter while everyone entertained Angel and you told all the stories you had of her up until then. You did also learn that Zeff kept every picture you sent of her in his room, a fact that made Sanji happier than you could have imagined.

After your visit back to Baratie, you kept in touch by sending more pictures, even a few letters telling stories of what Angel was learning and how well she was growing.

The last three years had changed so much, you and Sanji couldn't imagine life without your little angel.

"[Y/N], mon amour! Angel, my dearest!!"

"Daddy!!" Angel's bright [e/c] eyes lit up, squealing when Sanji came over to the both of you, providing you with a drink and snack, and Angel with her favorite snack of apple juice and carrots.

"I've got your drinks and snacks for the day!" He gave you both the most loving smile, making you return it and Angel giggled.

"Say thank you daddy!"

"Thank youuu!"

Clutching his heart, Sanji still couldn't believe his luck, even after all this time. Seven years married to you, three years of life as a father. The amount of love he had for you two made it feel like his heart was going to burst out of his chest most days.

"Oh, my beautiful girls!! What gods did I please to deserve you?! I love you both so much!!"

You laughed a bit, taking a sip of your fruity water and rubbing your slightly swollen stomach. "What're you gonna do if this one's a boy?"

"Oh, that's easy," Sanji gave you a loving smile while he picked Angel up as she requested, "I'll love him as much as I love you both."

"Have you thought about what I said? For a name?"

Nodding, Sanji sat beside you on the lounger with Angel still in his arms, her grabbing her sippy cup and a baby carrot.

"I have, and I think…I'll take you up on it this time."

Smiling, you gave a slight nod, before kissing his cheek with a hand still on your stomach.

"Sora it is then."

A few months later, you ended up having a little boy with your hair and Sanji's eyes, and Angel was absolutely in love with her baby brother once Sanji introduced him to her. Your crewmates once again were beyond happy for you, and you just couldn't imagine your life turning out any other way.

[schlatt-love-bot]

yuck! - schlatt x reader

now listening: yuck - charli xcx 0:01❍─────── 2:19 ↻ ⊲�� Ⅱ  ⊳  ↺

[part one (currently reading), part 1.5, part two, part three]

_______________________________________

Schlatt was never fond of “love,” the idea of falling in love or being in love with another person quite literally made him feel sick to his stomach. He didn’t like the commitment—it upheld a standard within his mind that he felt he would never be able to reach, like he wasn’t a good enough person to be ‘boyfriend’ material. Thinking about the pressure of a relationship, needing to be a support for another person other than himself, the planning of dates, the pressure to get married…it had put his stomach in knots regularly. He did, however, crave the physical aspects of being in love, the tender touches, light kisses…especially the sex aspect of it all. That’s how he got himself wrapped up in hookup culture, needing a sexual release without the expectation of flowers and dinner afterwards. 

When he was young and made this decision, he didn’t really care who he was hooking up with, his numbers weren’t that big on YouTube quite yet, and so he wasn’t really afraid of a subscriber meeting him off Tinder or Bumble and trying to expose him for his personal life online. As his numbers grew, though, his anxiety about being exposed as a one night stand man began to go through the roof. That’s where you enter the picture. You and Schlatt met each other during a particularly boring elective class you both needed to take to get your degrees in college, being partnered for a group project where you learned you both had the same outlook on the class and had similar hobbies. Having met Schlatt during his brief college days, you knew of his commitment issues and never judged him for his one night stand escapades. Schlatt appreciated the fact that you respected him and his lifestyle choices, most people (especially his mother) never understood why he couldn’t find it in himself to settle down. You, however, understood the inner fear he felt towards love and relationships, and you got why he relied so heavily on casual flings to meet his needs and desires.

When he started making it big as a streamer and on YouTube, it just so happened to line up with a time in your life when you became single, after a two-year long relationship you thought had good prospects of being together forever. Distraught, you came to Schlatt, who told you he knew that relationships were a bad idea, and that he tried to warn you about all that before you committed to that “dickwad”. 

“See, this is what’m talking about! Relationships are so fucking stupid…now you’re sittin’ ‘ere sobbing on my couch, for what?” He said, gesturing a hand towards you before bringing his glass of whisky up to his lips, rolling his eyes as he took a sip. You were laying on his couch, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks, glaring at him as you knew he knew you came over for comfort, not judgement. 

“Jesus…shut up, dude! I get you’re not into all that stuff…but I thought we had something real. He seemed so genuine…” You croaked, throwing a pillow at Schlatt as he raised his hands to defend himself. 

“Yeah, yeah…he was a real genuine guy..especially when he was genuinely between that other chick’s legs…” he laughed, picking up the pillow to place it back beside you, as he leaned down to wipe the tears from your cheeks. You huffed, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. 

“Not. Funny.” 

“I know it’s not. It’s seriously fucked up.” He said, continuing to wipe away the tears that came, rubbing small circles through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. “I told you, you should just do what I do. There’s no pressure..” 

He left it at that, letting you ever so slowly get over your ex with his care and support. The entire time, though, you thought about what he had mentioned—to partake in his lifestyle, how there was no pressure. Soon enough, he came to you with his own proposition. 

“Listen…you don’t have to say yes. I know we’re friends, and I don’t want this to twist that all up…but…I can’t keep seeing randos on these dating apps…the last one started talkin’ to me about L’Manberg after I came on her stomach…” he said, his hand snaking around to his neck as he looked down at the floor, hearing you chuckle at his experiences. “Are you..asking me to be your hookup partner?” 

“If that’s whatcha wanna call it, toots…” 

“No strings attached, right? Just…meeting each other’s physical needs?” You asked, contemplating the idea in your mind. You would admit, you had always wondered how Schlatt was in bed, with the amount of times he had gone out and slept with someone, coming back to you with new stories of positions and other levels of spice you had never considered taking into the bedroom ever before. Not to mention, he wasn’t a bad looking guy, either. There was always a small voice in the back of your head telling you that he was attractive, and that you could change his ways. Plus…you needed your own distraction and to have your needs met while you got over your ex, so what better way than doing that with your good friend, Schlatt?

“Exactly. We still remain good friends…but when we have needs…we meet them, together.” He said, laying out an exact plan that would include rules and consent. 

“Oh, and of course. Not falling in love. Sorry, sweetcheeks, I’m not gonna be interested.” He laughed, writing down the last rule on this makeshift contract he began writing before scribbling his name at the bottom. 

“Of course…of course. Are you seriously making me sign this thing? It means nothing, legally…” You laughed, picking up the pen he slowly pushed towards you.

“Yeah, I mean it’s not gonna legally mean anything, but it’ll show us if things get…tricky…that we started things with the same intentions, right?” He had no idea why he felt the need to draft up this contract of sorts—he was firm in his belief that he would never, genuinely fall in love with someone, but there was a fear about this in the back of his mind. He had himself convinced that it would be you falling for him and ruining this whole ordeal. 

“I guess you’re right…” You said, your voice quiet as you scribbled your name on the bottom of the paper, before meeting his gaze. 

“So…when did you wanna start all this?” 

“Hmm, no moment quite like now, right, toots?” He laughed, scooting closer to you as he placed a hand on your cheek, “If that’s alright with you, of course…” 

His voice trailed off as you let out a giggle, rolling your eyes. You leaned in, kissing him on the lips, leaving him shocked that you initiated without hesitation. 

That was about 2 years ago now, and since then you and Schlatt had come nearly inseparable. The contract still stood—neither of you were to have feelings for one another, but were to support one another platonically other than in the bedroom. The only recent amendment to the contract was when Schlatt decided that the two of you should move in together, so that your hookups could be done on a more frequent basis, as it’s what he “needed.” You were already on the hunt for a new place to live, your old apartment becoming too expensive to live on your own in, so you agreed. 

As time went on, you felt yourself wanting more. Wanting the simple, quiet moments with Schlatt something more than just a fuck buddy. Wishing that when you were in the kitchen cooking dinner that Schlatt would walk by, wrap his arms around your waist, and whisper something nice in your ear. Instead, you were met with the occasional slap on the ass, and a joke about how you’d make a nice housewife, but not for him. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do when you find a husband, toots.” He would always joke, showing you that he knew you needed something more, something concrete and committed, but also communicating that he knew he wasn’t capable of providing you with those experiences. 

You hit a point where you couldn’t take it anymore, though, taking matters in your own hands. You knew the root of the problem was internal fear Schlatt felt, that he wasn’t a good enough person to be able to be committed to someone, and that he needed to improve himself before being able to commit to anyone. He had gotten so used to his hookup lifestyle, though, he felt no pressure to “improve himself” like he had explained to you years ago, though, and so you knew you needed to start adding that pressure on him. 

“Flowers? Who bought you those?” He said, seeing an arrangement in a vase on the kitchen counter as you were making something at the stove. 

“Oh, no one bought me those. I bought those for you.” You said, nonchalantly, putting down the spoon you were using to look over at his reaction. One of his eyebrows began to raise, as he inspected the flowers once more. 

“Respectfully, I don’t need any flowers, sweetheart, but I appreciate the sentiment. What’s with them?” You shrugged your shoulders, leaning against the stove with crossed arms. 

“No particular reason…just saw ‘em at the store and thought of you. That’s all.” You say, seeing a slight pink tint come across his cheeks. You could tell the gears in his brain were turning, he was trying to think of a logical, platonic reason for why you would do this, but he wasn’t able to come up with one. You returned your focus to the stove, your pot nearly boiling over now from being neglected. 

“Well…thanks, sweetcheeks. Guess ‘m gonna have to repay you for these later, hmm?” He growled, slapping your bottom before going into the fridge to pull out a drink, disappearing back into his office. You sighed, knowing you were going to have to try harder.

“C’mon, don’t you think it would be fun? We live by the mountains, afterall…”

“Stargazing? The fuck do I look like…your boyfriend?” He scoffed, pushing around the pasta you made on his plate, as you sighed, putting your head in your hands. 

“No! God, you’re taking it out of context,” you sighed, shaking your head, “Friends do this type of shit, too, idiot. I just thought it would be nice to get away for a weekend, away from your 17,000 different channels and business ventures, let you clear your head for a day or two before coming back to the chaos.” 

He began to think silently, leaving you hanging. He was trying to figure out your motive, slowly over the last few months he had noticed your attempts to break down his tough, outer shell, trying to get under his skin and grow closer to him. First, he thought you were trying to be a better friend, but now the line between friend and lover was getting blurred, and the more he thought about it, the sicker he began to feel. He was confused, himself, never quite feeling the way he felt about you with any other person before, none of the women he would see quite regularly made him feel this way, either. When he was around you, he felt…domestic. An urge to protect you, keep you safe, and he had no real clue as to why. The feeling in his chest as of late was so foreign, he often wondered if something was seriously wrong with him—he mentioned in passing the other day that he thought he needed to see a doctor, something about having a heart arrhythmia or something. Was it you blurring this line, or was he unconsciously blurring it himself? The idea made him sweat, and so he once again swallowed all the thoughts and tried his best to press forward. 

“Mmm, well..when you put it that way…it does sound kind of nice.” He refused to look up and make eye contact with you as he confirmed plans. You smirked to yourself, feeling as though your intentions were finally setting on him, and that soon enough you could, maybe, call him yours for real. 

“Good, cause I already booked a stay at a nice cabin, ‘bout 15 minutes from here. Go pack your bags and let’s get going!” You say, clapping your hands together excitedly, your things already packed since you were going, regardless of his decision. He began to laugh, shaking his head as he stood up, heading to his room. 

“What the fuck is up with them…” he muttered under his breath, going through his dressers to find a few t-shirts to throw in his bag. 

“Really tryna ruin a good fuckin’ thing, aren’t they…” he couldn’t help himself from feeling a bit angry. He was slowly beginning to realize that you were wanting more, you were getting yourself attached to him not only physically, but emotionally as well, and that you were trying to coax him into believing he was becoming emotionally invested in you as well. It was confusing, to say the least, because on one hand he truly felt as though he was turning a new, uncomfortable leaf—he found himself caring about you, how your day was, how you were feeling, and wanting to connect with you on a level he hadn’t ever connected with someone before, but at the same time he was so stuck in his ways that he didn’t want to think about you as anything more than friends with benefits. His confusion has now shifted to anger, anger that you were trying to get more out of this than he was willing to give, and anger at himself that he was even considering changing his ways for someone other than himself. He finally got his bag all packed, trying to think of this little get away as a break from work, rather than stressing himself out over his feelings and your own. 

He rejoined you in the living room, seeing you checking your phone, keys in hand and your own bag placed on the ground at your feet. You hadn’t noticed him standing there quite yet, rather engrossed in something you were reading on your phone. It was at that moment Schlatt realized his heartbeat was getting quicker once again, feeling butterflies beginning to stir within his stomach. 

Ugh, he thought to himself, I feel like I’m going to be sick…what the fuck is happening to me?

Almost as if you could hear his inner dialogue, you looked up from your phone, smiling at him standing there looking dumbfounded with his bag in his hands. You slid your phone in your back pocket as you picked up your own bag. 

“Ready to go? Let’s enjoy this weekend, hmm?” 

“Let’s get this show on the road…” his voice droned on, trying his best to make it seem as though he wasn’t looking forward to spending a weekend alone with you, not having to worry about anything else. 

Night began to paint the sky full of stars, as Schlatt fed the woodfire heater inside the cabin to keep you both warm overnight. You sat, wrapped loosely in a blanket on the couch watching him, a mug of hot chocolate sitting nicely in your hands. Since arriving at the cabin, you both already had a few rounds of slow fucking on almost every surface you could find available inside. It was an attempt in Schlatt’s mind to solidify that the only connect you two shared was sexual, not romantic in any way, but after the last round when you glanced up at him with a twinkle in your eye, he began to think it was game over—something in his perspective was shifting. You could tell he was working through something internally, usually after a round he would be a gentleman and help clean you up, make sure you’re comfortable before going back to whatever it was he was doing before, but after your last round, he stared you in the eyes for what felt like forever, his eyes widened before he shook his head, grumbling something about feeling disgusted, leaving you alone on the bed you had finally made your way to in the end. You sighed, running your hands through your hair, unsure of whether or not this trip away was going to work or end up in the way you were anticipating in your mind. With the way he was acting, you’d think you did something seriously sinister to him, and he wanted to get away from you forever. Getting yourself cleaned up, you now found yourself on the couch watching him from afar. 

He finally was satisfied with how the fire was going, enjoying the sounds of the crackling wood in the somewhat uncomfortable silence he had created between the two of you. He turned around to see you comfortably watching him, wondering what his next move was going to be. 

“You mentioned stargazing, didn’t ya?” He said, sitting gently next to you, afraid if he came on too strong he might say something he regretted, or you would do something that would solidify the change he was terrified of. 

“Mhm, wasn’t sure if you remembered, honestly…” your voice trailed off, sounding a bit hurt from having your pride bruised back in the bedroom. Him leaving you like that filled you with doubt—maybe he didn’t want to be more than friends with benefits, afterall, and you’ve just been living in a big bubble of delusion. 

“Of course I remembered…c’mon now.” He said, standing up as he gestured a hand to you, offering to pull you up from the couch. You placed your mug to the side, reaching up to grab his hand and stand up yourself. Silently, you followed him as you both adorned your jackets back on, slipping on some boots as Schlatt reached over and grabbed the blanket you were once wrapped up in. You both walked out of the cabin in silence, finding a secluded spot a little bit away from the cabin, but in a clearing large enough that you could make out the stars and their constellations from underneath the trees. Schlatt laid the blanket down on the grass, sitting down before looking back up at you. 

“Are you gonna come down here and join me, or are you just gonna stand there, toots?” He chuckled, patting the spot next to him on the blanket. You let out a breathy laugh, sitting next to him before glancing up at the sky. Admiring the stars together, the silence quickly became comfortable, not tense as it was a few minutes ago. When Schlatt laid down on his back, he tugged at your jacket, signalling you to join him, to which you quickly obliged. Your head on his chest, you could ever so softly hear his heart beating intensely, making a smile creep up on your face. 

“What’s that one called…?”

“Hmm…maybe Ursa Major? Kinda looks like a bear…doesn’t it?” He hummed, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as his other hand continued to point out different constellations above you. You couldn’t help yourself from looking up at him, seeing how the stars reflected in his eyes caused you to fall deeper than you ever thought possible. 

“What’cha lookin’ at?” He said, confused why your gaze wasn’t directed at the stars any longer. 

“Have I ever told you just how…handsome you really are, Schlatt?” You said, seeing his eyes grow a bit wider than before. He felt a now familiar heat creep across his cheeks, as he said a silent prayer that you couldn’t tell just how rosy his cheeks have now become. 

Fuck. Not this lovey dovey shit…

________________

EDIT: Part 1.5 is out now! Smut, and smut only, so reader discretion is advised! Enjoy~ AND PART TWO! READ IT HERE :)

ANOTHER NOTE: FINAL PART OUT NOW!! Thanks for your love & support!!

[daydreams-after-dark]

Show Mommy

Synopsis: Lee Know dressed as Aunt Lina was doing things to you as you watched him on set. But what happens when you are invited to an after party and accidentally end up in Lee Know's room, and he's still in costume?

NSFW // 18+ MINORS DNI for the love of god.

Features: female reader x cross dressing aunty lino

Word count: 4.4k

This link though

nsfw warnings below.

Kinks and warnings: Mummy kink (Lee Know is referred to as Mummy), choking on cock (cutting off air supply), Edging, Light Dom/Sub, Pet names (Mummy, babygirl, kitten etc), Name calling (slut, whore), unprotected piv sex, oral sex (m rec), cross dressing, vaginal fingering, creampie.

a/n: This story was born out of an ask from friend @noellllslut She was after Lee Know dressed as Aunt Lino who fucks reader's brains out. It was originally posted on my main blog @moonlightndaydreams but the themes fit the feel of this blog. So it now resides over here. Please welcome it make it feel at home 😘

Lee Know couldn’t help but notice the way you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him while he was on was the SKZ Family set. So he deliberately slouched back in his seat, spreading his legs unashamedly under the silk skirt he wore as part of his Aunty Lino costume. He knew what it was doing to you. You tried your hardest to look away, but your eyes kept returning to him, alternating between gazing at his beautiful dolled up face and wig, to almost drooling as you stared at his crotch. You knew what was underneath that dress, although you’d never seen it or experienced it first hand.

Lee Know had seen you around a few times now. You were the newest staff member of the catering service that sometimes provided refreshments and food to the group. You stood out like a sore thumb, actually, with your eyes wide, starstruck. You’d never been in such close proximity to idols before.

Lee Know thought you looked cute. He liked that you seemed flustered around him and the other members. But he also noticed that you didn’t seem to ever really be looking at them, but rather your gaze was always on him. Your stare made him feel flushed. Luckily the blush make up could hide the fact there was also a natural shade of pink burning on his skin.

You were looking at him almost shamelessly towards the end of filming. That’s why he kept opening his legs to sit “unladylike”. That’s why he raised his voice, bellowing angrily, confusing you with the alluring mix of feminine and masculine. That’s why he dared to glance right back at you whenever he looked around the room. He wanted to send you a message; that he knew you were watching him, and he wanted you to know that he was enjoying it.

You felt like you would certainly have a heart attack if he looked at you one more time. The way he sat back in the chair, feet planted far apart made you want to fucking straddle him then and there. He was taunting you with brief glances, and eventually outright stares. You felt an ache in your core and a wetness forming between your legs. Thank fuck this was almost over and you could pack up and leave.

“Hey!” Your colleague caught your attention. “Turns out they want to stay dressed up to go to the holiday house to have a party. Apparently you’re invited!” He exclaimed. “Maybe you could take all the spare food there. Come and help me pack and up and you can drive it over there now and set up.”

Well there goes going home. Wait. What? They invited you? You felt anxiety rising inside your chest.

“Here, let me help.” You turned towards the voice that broke your thoughts. Fucking Lee Know.

“Oh—“ you choked. “Um… it’s fine. Really.” You managed to say. He was standing awfully close to you. He wasn’t a lot taller than you were, and so you got a perfect close up view of his gorgeous face. His pretty almond eyes framed by the hair of the chestnut brown wig. How the hell were you going to survive the night? Both your nerves and horny levels were through the roof.

“I insist, kitten. Let’s get the lids on these, and I’ll help carry them out to the car.” He smiled kindly. Who were you to deny him? You were told by your boss when you started this job to do anything the idols want. If they want to help you, then you had to let them.

You felt his eyes on you as he followed you out to your car, hoping he wasn’t looking at your ass.

“So, I’ll be seeing you at the party tonight, yeah?” He asked closing the car boot and turning to lean on it.

“Well I have to be there - all the food is in my car now.” You chuckled like an idiot, then looked down at your feet.

Lee Know simply smirked at you. “You’re an interesting little kitty.” He continued to smirk whilst he’s eyes turned dark. How were you meant to respond to that?

“Well,” He suddenly stood tall as if snapping out of his thoughts, and walked around to the driver’s side of the car, opening the door for you. “Drive safely.” He said as you slid into the seat. You rolled your eyes “Yes Mum.” You mocked like you were an unamused teenager responding to an overprotective parent.

Lee Know’s energy shifted. “What did you just call me?” His tone was one of amusement, but there was something behind his eyes. Something devious. He leaned down in the doorway, one hand resting on the open door, the other on the side of the car, his curtain of “hair” framing his pretty face in the most elegant way.

“I said: Yes, Mummy.” You repeated condescendingly and locked eyes on him. Fuck he made you feel nervous, but you weren’t going to let on. Something inside you was enjoying being a little bratty.

“Hmm.” He said standing back up and closing the car door and walking back inside without another word.

You pulled up at the holiday house, knowing that you would have arrived there before the members. That gave you time to fumble around your car for your emergency “going out bag” - ready with a little black dress, a hairbrush and makeup - and then took the left over food up to the house in two trips. A staff member let you in so you could set up. You took a deep breath as you surveyed the food. Yep everything looked fine.

Your next priority was changing into your dress so you went in search of a bathroom to get changed and touch up your makeup. You didn’t want to take up the common bathroom, so you went looking for an ensuite off of a bedroom. It didn’t take long to find one that seemed suitable. The far bedroom down the hall. You’d be out of the way in this room. No one would stumble upon you there. You closed the bedroom door and went into the the bathroom, peeling off your black slacks and black blouse, realising you weren’t wearing an appropriate bra for the dress you had brought. Fuck it. You had nice tits though, so you decided to go bra-less. Your dress was a black mini dress, super tight (it’ll hold those puppies in), that zipped up the entire front - from the hem to the neckline. It was probably too much for the occasion. It was more a clubbing dress, not a hang out with some idols at a casual house party type of dress. But it was either that or your work clothes. You glanced down at the discarded slacks and blouse and then back up to your reflection. Nope! The dress it is.

Next you added some heavier eyeshadow and a tonne of mascara. Finally, a slick of red lipstick. You weren’t planning to impress anyone, right? You just needed to match the makeup to the dress.

You could hear loud music thumping, and muffled boisterous voices through the walls. The boys must have arrived.

You looked yourself over in the vanity mirror one final time. Okay. You’ve got this. You don’t actually have to speak to him. It’s okay. You reassured yourself. Just chat to someone else. Maybe Han. Or Felix. They seem safe.

You pepped yourself up, took a deep breath and opened the door to go back into the bedroom.

Your heart almost jumped out of your body and out of the window. Actually, you wanted to throw your entire body out of the window.

Lee Know. Sitting on the end of the bed. Directly facing you. Legs fucking spread. Still in Aunty-fucking-Lino mode.

His mouth was parted slightly. He was taken aback by what he saw. But he recovered quickly and you didn’t notice because you were too busy having some sort of panic attack. “W-what are you doing in here?” You asked timidly.

Lee know chuckled. “This is my room for the night. I wasn’t expecting a visitor waiting for me.”

“Oh!” Was all that came out of your mouth and your hand flew to your chest, clasping at the zipper, ensuring you were properly dressed. The way he was looking at you made you feel naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.

“I’m really sorry.” You smiled sheepishly. “I’ll be out of your way.” Of all the rooms you chose to change in, it had to be Lee Know’s.

You lowered your head and nervously made a beeline for the door. The sooner you removed yourself from the situation the better.

You reached for the door handle, but a hand landed on the door, next to your head, preventing you from opening it. Preventing you from leaving. Trapping you. A rustle of fabric grazed the back of your bare legs, making you freeze. Lee Know’s warm breath on your neck caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. You tried to ignore the ache between your legs.

But there was something else happening too. Despite your nerves. Despite this situation being inappropriate and unprofessional. Despite your oftentimes timid nature, you were curious. It was almost like there was a little devil on your shoulder, a little voice that made your insides itch to torment Lee Know.

“What’s the matter? Doesn’t Mummy want to let me out of the house dressed like this?” You boldly teased.

Lee Know pressed his erection into your ass, startling you. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath his dress, his hard cock bouncing freely against you made that perfectly clear. You laughed condescendingly and continued to torment. “Afraid some boys will ruin my honour? Steal my innocence, hmm?”

Lee know growled and spun you around and pushed you against the door.

“There won’t be anything for those boys to ruin once I let you leave this room.” He sneered low and deadly, staring into your eyes.

His gaze dropped to your zipper. You held your breath. He won’t. Surely. He took his thumb and forefinger and grasped the toggle. Oh fuck he is going to. He unzipped your dress all the way, causing it to pop open and your bare tits to spill out, exposing you to the man in front of you.

Your hands automatically came to cover your breasts, a red hot flush overtaking your body.

“Tsk tsk, little one.” He soothed, taking a hand to yours and peeling it slowly away from your chest. “You need to show Mummy what you’re hiding.” He said softly. As you let him remove your hands, his eyes hungrily roamed your almost naked body. You held your breath as he sucked in a breath through his teeth. A pained expression on his face.

“What else have you been keeping secret?’ He leaned his mouth against your neck, making you shudder.

“N-nothing.” Your voice trembled. Lee Know’s energy felt so intoxicating.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” His voice deep in your ear, his fingers resting on your hips.

“I-I’m not.” You repeat he dug his fingers hard into your flesh.

“I’m going to have to check for myself, then.” He whispered. He slid his hand all the way down your body and slipped a finger between your lips, exploring, checking. You closed your eyes. You knew you were absolutely soaked. There was no way to deny it.

“I knew it. You were hiding something from Mummy, after all.” He smirked. “I saw the way you were looking at me earlier. Yet you said you weren’t hiding anything from me.” He shoved a finger into your pussy without warning, making you cry out and throw your head back.

“I’m sorry.” You panted. You were alarmed at the wet noises that were already coming from your cunt as Lee Know started to finger fuck you.

“Sorry who?” He snarled.

“Ahh… Sorry, Mummy.” You cried.

“Sorry for what?” He demanded, thrusting into your spongy wall.

“Sorry I was hiding it.” You said, whimpering now.

“Hiding what.” Oh god you were almost there already.

“That I want you to fuck me.” Your hand flung over you mouth. What the fuck did you just say? How did he just get you to say that?

“Why do you want Mummy to fuck you?” There was genuine curiosity behind is eyes. His fingers stilled inside you while he waited for your to respond.

“Because you’re just so pretty…and soft. Delicate, even. Makes me want to taste your lips.” You whimper, almost in tears because he had stopped fingering you when you were so close to climaxing.

“Let me make it clear, I’m far from pretty, or soft, or delicate.” Minho spat and raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. He didn’t like that you thought he was soft. You needed to be taught just how punishing, brutal, satisfying he could be. He smashed down hard on your mouth. His sticky lip gloss mixing with your bright red lipstick.

His tongue pushed it’s way into your mouth and you took it willingly, letting it explore your own tongue, taking up space inside your mouth. His kiss letting you know how much he wanted to be inside your body, and what it felt like to have him possess you.

You pulled away. “You’re wrong, Mummy. I bet your cock’s pretty… ” You whispered.

“On your knees. Now.” He growled. “Mummy needs to punish you for hiding things.”

You immediately sunk to your knees and Lee Know pulled your dress off completely, leaving you on in just your tiny purple, soaking, satin thong. You were shaking with anticipation and arousal as your fingers gripped the hem of his skirt. You slowly gathered the delicate fabric, lifting it up… up… up. Slowly revealing his strong, toned thighs. You gulped. You were almost there. Almost at the top of his legs. Just another inch, and there it was. The most mouthwatering cock you had ever seen. Your eyes widened.

The sight was positively obscene. He looked so soft and delicate in his wig, makeup and layers of pretty fabric. But underneath his skirt he was rock hard, veins bulging, pre-cum oozing from the tip. His angry erection eager and ready to tear up a pussy or a mouth. Your mouth. Right now.

Lee know took the skirt from your hands, bunching it up and holding it behind his back so that his view of you wasn’t obstructed. His other hand rested above you on the door.

You kept your eyes on him as you slowly dragged your fingernails up his thighs, noticing his eyes close momentarily as he shuddered through an exhale. He was trying to hide the anticipation and pure lust that ran through his veins. You wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, pointing it towards you. You leaned in and kissed the tip then smeared the pre-cum over your lips. “Fuck, baby girl. Stop teasing.” He panted when your tongue poked out and licked the tip. Despite your cunt begging you to throw him on the bed and demand he fuck the living shit out of you, you wanted to take your time pleasuring him with your mouth. Lee Know stayed as still as possible, using all his willpower not tear up your throat with his cock as you continued to take it slow.

You licked his shaft from base to tip, you tongue exploring the ridges of his veins that ran along the length. You lifted his cock towards his stomach so you could take his balls in your mouth, suckling them, humming on them. “F-fuckkk!” Lee Know hissed. You could feel his legs shake slightly, faltering just the slightest bit. And then you wrapped your lips around the head of his dick and sunk down as far as you could in one fluid motion. Lee Know whimpered and you purred at how good it felt to have him in your mouth.

You sped up your movements as your head bobbed up and down along his cock, taking more and more of him into the back of your throat. Saliva began to drip down your hand that was working the remaining length you couldn’t quite take. You wanted to take him entirely and tears sprang from your eyes as you gagged around him. “So fucking perfect…mmmm….so slutty…..slutty little girl just wants cock, hmm? So pretty, so dirty with Mummy’s cock rammed down her throat.” Filthy words spilled from his mouth.

Looking down at you endearingly, he reached down and grasped your jaw, forcing it open in the most careful and gentle way. You locked eyes on him as he slowly withdrew his cock, holding your jaw still, sighing as more and more of it emerged from your mouth dripping in saliva. He was almost the whole way out, and your cunt clenched in anticipation to be filled, but Lee Know simply sunk back into your mouth again with a low groan. He pushed himself all the way in, pressing the back of your head towards him as he pushed his hips forward. You couldn’t breath for a good thirty seconds. Then he eased out enough for you to take a breath. You had to be quick though, because he was back down your throat without warning.

Tears ran down your face as your air supply was repeatedly cut off, but never longer than you could handle. The head of his cock making you gag, causing your eyes to water even more.

“So messy for me.” Lee know murmured, smearing your mascara further down your cheek with his thumb. “You look like a little slut, the way you take all of me in like that.” Lee know started fuck your face faster now, your hands gripping onto his perfect dancer’s thighs so you wouldn’t get knocked backwards. Not that you really could be knocked backwards with his hand holding you so firmly against his pelvis on every thrust.

All you could think about was how much you needed this cock inside another hole. Any of them. All of them! You wanted Lee Know to fill you up in every way.

“Fuck! You feel so good. Such a good fucking girl.” He grunted. Good girl. Oh god you needed him to fuck you. You were more than ready. You reached down to your drenched panties, pushing the fabric aside and started to rub your clit frantically. You needed the release. You needed to fucking come!

Lee know pulled your head back by your hair, pulling his cock out of your mouth. “On the bed right fucking now.” He demanded, pulling you up and pushing you down on the bed. “Head down, ass up. Let me get a good look at you.” He gripped one of your ass cheek, the jiggle eliciting a low growl from him. “If you turn your head the other way you’ll be in for a treat.” He whispered peeling your panties down your thighs.

You lifted your mascara stained cheek off the mattress and turned to rest your other cheek on the bed. You were staring directly into a full length mirror, and you were just in time to watch Lee Know approach you from behind.

With one hand holding his skirt out of the way and the other around his length, he lined himself up to your slick entrance, but didn’t penetrate you just yet. He teased you a moment longer by dragging his tip through your dripping lips from the entrance to your clit. Your legs were already trembling from the sheer desperation of needing to be speared by his cock. And you could see it all unfolding in the reflection of the mirror. The moment Lee know’s hips pushed forward. The moment the tip pushed passed your entrance making you gasp at both the visual and the actual sensation of him stretching you open. You saw the furrowed brow and then the look of relief on his face as he sunk further into your cunt. You saw him flick his long hair over his shoulder and then grip your hip as he began to thrust into you fully.

“So tight… your cunt feels so fucking tight.” He mumbled, losing himself immediately.

“Am I wet, Mummy?” You choked. You caught him smirk at your desperation for praise.

“Mmm… absolutely fucking soaking… listen carefully you can hear it… “

You could hear the squelching sounds filling the room but you wanted him to tell you. You wanted to hear him say dirty things.

“Is this what you wanted? Mummy to stuff your pussy full of cock?” He quickened his thrusts, the tip of his cock hitting you deep inside. “Answer me.” Me growled and slapped a hand down on your ass. You cried out at the sting. “Yes, M-mummy.” Lee Know slapped you again. “That’s it, you can scream… no one’s gonna hear you. No one will come and help you.” His words made your walls clench, the thought of being trapped in the room where no one could hear your screams, where Lee Know could do anything he desired, made the tension in you core tighten. You were going to come any moment.

“Fuck, your cunt is sucking me in… greedy, tight, little…grr.” He propped a foot up on the bed next to your leg to get a different, a deeper, angle. His deep, hard, brutal thrusts slamming directly against your cervix. Over and over and… “Fuckkk!!! Mummmy!!!! Ahhhh.” You cried out at full volume as you involuntarily clenched and relaxed around Lee Know’s cock. Your entire body convulsed and shook with what was easily one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had. Especially when your clitoris was practically untouched. After you came down, Lee Know pulled out abruptly and you collapsed on the bed, still shaking. You rolled onto your back and looked up at Lee Know, expecting him to be depositing his load on your body. But instead, you found him trying to calm his breath and slow his heart. His cock was screaming for release, but it seemed he didn’t want to come just yet. “Lee Know, let me take care of you.” You sat up, reaching for him.

He shook his head. “No, sweet kitten. Just give me a sec.” He panted as though he was in pain, and you were confused. He climbed up on the bed and laid on his back, his head resting on the pillows.

He reached out for you with his hand. “Come ride me…please.” He ushered you over to him, desperation on his face. He had just fucking edged himself.

You kicked off your panties entirely and climbed up to straddle him. He looked a mess. His wig slightly askew, his own mascara running down his cheeks, your red lipstick smeared across his lower lip. He looked perfectly fucked up. You bit on your lower lip as you sank over his cock, drawing a sharp a hiss from his mouth. “So tight.” He mumbled under his breath. “So fucking wet.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. His hands found purchase on your hips as you rolled your them, grinding against him. You moved slowly, your clit pressing against his hard lower abdomen.

“Open your eyes, Mummy. Look at me. Watch me. Am I doing good?” You purred. Lee Know opened his eyes. They were blown out, hazy with lust and the need to climax. Yet there was also a kindness and a softness to them.

“You’re doing so good, little one. So fucking perfect.” He smiled. “I need you to make Mummy come now. Good girl. Yes like that.” He praised you as you moved a little faster. Lee Know’s cock filled you so well. Stretching you perfectly. Touching the deepest parts of you. “You really do have a pretty cock, you know? Need you to fill me up with your cum now. Need it deep inside my pussy.” You were losing yourself as well as another orgasm was building. You looked down at the man underneath you, reaching down and playing with the little tie on his jacket and then reaching up to cup his cheek. He pulled you down onto him, taking your mouth with his, finding your tongue, climbing inside of you. Possessing you completely.

Something inside him snapped, and with his hands digging into your hips he began to pound into you brutally from underneath you. Loud whimpers jolting out of you from the force behind his hips. He brought a thumb to your clit, circling it as he knocked the breath out of you time and time again. “Come with me.” It wasn’t quite a demand, it was more of a plea.

“Come in me. Fill me up…please.” You plead in return as your orgasm hit. Electricity shot through your body and out your fingers and toes, and you clamped down hard around Lee know’s cock. “Oh fucking Go—” you cried at the top of your lungs.

“Fuckkkk!!!” Lee know growled as hips hips faltered and you felt his hot seed spurt deep inside of you. His orgasm seemed to last an eternity, and you knew there was so much cum, you could feel it coating your insides. It was already starting to leak out around the base of his cock.

After a few moments you pulled off him, flinging yourself on the bed next to him. You were both still panting, trying to catch your breath. Trying to process what had just happened.

“Fuck that was amazing!” Lee Know stated. “I didn’t expect to be so into that.”

You rolled onto your side and looked at him. “What, the Mummy thing or the cross dressing?” you asked.

“Both.” He suddenly looked nervous. You leaned down and kissed him slow and deep. “Me either.” You admitted.

“Hey,” he pushed a strand of hair out of your face. “Let’s go take a shower, and then I’ll show you what Daddy can do to you.” He whispered deviously.

@noellllslut @kangnina @weareapackofstrays @channieandhisgoonsquad @queenmea604

[cellophanejpeg]

it's a craving, not a crush | s. hanta

s: sero can't keep resisting to you anymore. it's killing him. he aches for the moment he can be inside you again. it doesn't matter if you're in your patrol shift and in public. he just has to have you.

w: semi-public sex, clothed sex, smut, smut, smut!!!

n: beta read by @jemifis 💕 i love her. read on ao3.

previous | next | start here

There’s something about sleeping with your best friend that changes you.

For example, you’re clingier than ever. All you think about is spending time with Sero. It’s even worse when you don’t get paired up for missions, you miss him so much when you’re apart. It feels stupid, like you're a dumb kid who eagerly waits to see their best friend after a long time apart.

It's not much different than that, if you're honest. After that night in your apartment, you and Sero have been avoiding talking about what happened, which frustrates you more than you'd like to admit. You know you can't force him to keep sleeping with you, but you'd be lying if you said you haven't thought about it every night, trying to replicate the pleasure he gave you with your humble fingers.

Maybe I should get a vibrator, you think as you scroll through Amazon on your phone, during patrol.

It's a sunny day, the weather has been nice lately. From the top of the roof, where you stand, you can see the street you're supposed to be on watch for. You're not paying attention to it, though – it's a slow day anyway –, but you do look when a pair of boots hit the ground behind you.

Sero stands there, tall and broad, removing his helmet to reveal his messy and sweaty hair. He smiles at you as he approaches, stealing your breath away.

“There she is,” he says, reaching to remove his ear piece, the one that connects a hero back to the agency, “taking a break?”

“I am now.” You smile, watching as he leans his arms on the metal bars of the railing. “You?”

“My shift is almost over.”

A silent pause hangs in the air as you both enjoy the view of the city. The tension is almost palpable and the silence is so loud you're sure he can hear the thumping of your heartbeat. His elbow touches yours and it sends you a wave of electricity through your body.

“So, about that night…” Sero breaks the silence. Without fail, your heart sinks in, knowing what’ll come next. Your anxiety only grows when he hesitates, “I know we promised to pretend it didn't happen if things got weird–”

“Are things weird?” You interrupt, getting ahead of yourself.

“No, no!” he exclaims, far too quickly, “They're not weird, I just–” he pauses again, and you turn to fully face him and touch his arm, silently letting him know that you're here for him. He exhales sharply and looks back at you. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Of course, Hanta.” You smile, reassuring him. “Since second grade.”

“I don’t want to ruin things for us,” he confesses.

“Why would they be ruined?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about it.”

You stare at him, but he looks away, a shy smile on his face. Suddenly, your breath quickens with the thought of Sero, alone in his apartment, hands wrapped around himself, as he moans your name.

“Oh,” you say when you realize you haven't replied.

“Y-yeah.” He looks away, red-faced. “Embarrassing, right?”

“Not really.” The words come out of your mouth faster than you can process them.

He turns his head to face you so quickly that you almost hear it snapping.

“Wha–”

“I also think about it,” you admit. “All the time.”

“Oh.”

A tense pause hangs in the air, while you stare at each other and it takes just a second before Sero's mouth is on yours. He presses you onto the railing, the cold metal biting your skin as he quickly slips his hand under your shirt. You return his kiss with passion, reaching to tug on his hair, arching your back so your chest presses against him. He pulls away to kiss your neck, sucking a spot on your skin, which makes you whimper. His skilled hands hastily undo your belt and, sooner than you expected, his fingers find solace in between your folds.

Right now, you don't care about being out on a roof, where anyone could walk in on you two. Right now, you just care about Sero's fingers rubbing your clit harshly and getting you wetter by the second.

“I missed this so much,” he says, pulling away and turning you, so your back touches his chest. You feel him grabbing your ass before pulling your pants down, resuming his ministrations on you. He pushes a finger inside you as the other hand snakes under your shirt again, exploring your breasts and nipples over your bra, “can't wait any longer, angel, need to be inside you.”

His voice is strained, almost as if he's in pain and you're the only medicine he needs.

“Then fuck me already.” You moan, drunk on the feeling of his fingers inside you.

“Oh, shit, such a dirty mouth she has.” Sero pulls his fingers out of you to unzip the front of his suit.

When he pushes his cock into you, you let out an involuntary gasp at the feeling of him bare. Sero doesn't wait for you to get used to it and starts a rough pace, blunt fingernails digging into your skin. He bites your neck again, and a strangled cry leaves your lips. Your hand flies to his hair again, as you turn your head towards him to kiss him roughly.

“Such a good girl, taking me so well.” He murmurs in your ear.

“Hanta…”

“I love it when you say my name like that.”

It's the combined fear of someone seeing you two with his hunger for you that gets you off. His strong arms hold you close to him, and you hold on to the railing, knuckles going white. You hold back a moan, trying not to get attention drawn to you two – not that anyone down there will spot two hero figures going at it.

Sero slips his hand under your shirt again, squeezing one of your breasts as he slams his hips against your ass, his rough breath on your ear. He moans, grunts and whimpers your name, his voice sending waves of pleasure through where you are connected.

You're almost reaching your high, when a voice speaks through your earpiece, making you jump. It calls you by your hero name, asking for coordinates and an update on patrol.

“Wait, Sero, stop stop stop!” You reach behind you to grab his hips from behind.

“What's wrong?” He stops his movements, with a concerned look in his eyes.

You reach to your earpiece, speaking through it, and answering the requests given to you. Then, you rip the earpiece away, making sure it’s turned off. A sigh leaves your lips, hands slightly shaking from almost getting caught having sex on audio with your coworker. You would be fired in an instant if this came out.

“Sorry about that,” you say, trying to ignore the fact that he’s still inside you.

“Don’t worry about it.” He kisses your cheek, slowly pulling out, knowing the moment is gone now. You think it’s ridiculous how you miss him instantly, how he leaves you empty. However, he makes sure to dress you back, helping you pull your uniform pants up and making sure you have everything in order. The way he adjusts your hair has your heart skipping a beat.

“To be continued?” You smile cheekily, a spark of hope in your eyes. Sero smiles back, laughing.

“Absolutely. My place or yours?”

“Mine.” You feel the heat on your face, watching as he puts his helmet back on. You love how he looks in his hero uniform.

He softly pinches your chin, looking at you through the helmet. “See you tonight then.”

“Yeah.”

You watch as Sero jumps out of the roof with your heart beating like crazy. You won’t even try to process what just happened right now, you’ll just enjoy the view and long for when you’ll see him again.

And you can’t wait for tonight.

tags: @lousypotatoes @siillkie

[professonalarttheclownfan]

Jealous

David x fem!reader

(I am obsessed with this man)

UPDATE-finally got round to editing it and making it a little better in my opinion.

You been hired as a part of the makeup team for the 3rd Terrfier having the first 2 be some of your favourite films, you were stoked beyond words.

The makeup and costuming department was a small due to a smaller budget. So you’d gotten the know the others well. It was the first day on set and you’d yet to meet any of the actors, getting the prosthetics ready, and talking through any final makeup changes with Damien.

You’d been given the golden ticket, working on the man himself, thee art the clown. Due to clashing schedules the cast read through was something you’d had to miss out on, so you really were a newbie. Having been in awe of David since Terrfier came out, getting to be so up close to him was a dream come true.

You’d come to set early to get set up and after talking with Damien, you grabbed your kit, laying out the things you needed and the order you’d use stuff in. Being able to be in the quiet was calming, your nerves were heightened, feeling like you were living in a dream. You were talented, but to be working with the likes of Damien and David had your head spinning.

A light knock pulled you out of your head, it was still slightly early but nothing major, still, the knock surprised you none the less.

“Come in” you called out, pushing your half empty kit bag on the the shelf. You hadn’t realised it was David that had knocked since you were stood with your back still facing the door.

“Thought I’d come say hey” his voice was gentle yet charming, you spun on your heels to face him, your cheeks turning up ward into a bright smile. There he was stood right there, within arms reach. You were taken aback at how truly handsome he was, you knew he was attractive from photos and panel videos but nothing like having him stand in-front of you in the flesh.

“Since you know we’re going to be spending hours a day together. Plus we never got to meet at the cast reading. I was kinda gutted you weren’t there. I love your work, especially that joker piece you did” he continued, letting out a small laugh.

“Hey! yeah, im y/n. It’s actually nice to finally meet you. I was so bummed I had to miss it. Im in shock that you know of my work! But thank you that really means alot!” You answered sticking your hand toward him, he returned the gesture. Gently placing his hand in yours and shaking it. You locked eye contact with the tall man, a blush rose to your cheeks, which in turn caused to look away.

You both clicked instantly, after light flirting and a conversation that seemed to flow like water, it was time to get him in the chair. This man was a charmer, you don’t know how you’d survive the duration of filming, you could already feel yourself gaining feelings for him.

~a couple of months into filming

You’d gotten to know David well, and he you. You two had become kind of inseparable. Finding that you both seemed to gravitate toward each other, even on days that David wasn’t filming you’d usually end up doing something together to get your and his mind off of work for a while. The early mornings and late nights you had together became the best part of the working day for both of you, although doing the makeup and taking the said makeup off was tedious, you and David got the trailer to yourselves and that time was filled with belly laughs and constant chatter between the two of you. Your feelings had developed for David, being around him so much just intensified them.

After filming finished, premiers and cons were beginning. Your name had gotten out there, you’d become as popular as the main cast especially due to all the content fans got from your and David’s outings.

~You’d been invited to a panel, along with David. You’d stood at the side of the stage. You’d never done anything like this before, your anxiety was through the roof, your knees shook as you waited shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You felt a firm squeeze on your shoulder you knew instantly who it was, David. He kept his arm over your shoulders whilst he stood beside you. As if he was magic, he could tell how nervous you were about the whole thing. You appreciated him.

“You’re gonna smash it pretty lady” he whispered to you, pulling you into a hug, he rested his chin on top of your head not letting go until he was called up onto the stage.

It was your turn, you tapped the tip of your middle finger against the pad of your thumb a habit you’d picked up to replace picking at the skin around your fingers when you got anxious, the crowd was far larger then you’d expected. You took the seat next to David, and plopped your self on the chair behind the long table.

The interviewer was pretty, no. Drop dead gorgeous. And you could tell she had eyes for David, you swallowed down the pit you had in your stomach. The flirting was obvious, she batted her lashes, pushed her arms to reveal more of her cleavage, all the text book things. You didn’t hate her, why would you? but you envied that she could probably have David right there and then if she wanted too. You were quiet on the stage, you’d usually be able to keep your anxiety in check and David picked up on this instantly, he hated seeing you struggling, he wanted to hug you, comfort you, but he couldn’t so instead he hooked his pinky finger on to yours under the table, if anything it helped calm him too.

If asked a question you’d answer and thank fans when ever they came up. You were extremely grateful and loved every single one of them, they meant you could be sat were you were today. But due to your inner turmoil you tried your best to stay composed remaining polite and appreciative but quiet. Jealousy bubbled, even though he sat there with his pinky intertwined with yours you’d convinced yourself he only viewed you as a friend, he was a charming beautiful soul, you hated being like this you were a grown adult. But with it mixed in with the shame and the embarrassment, for thinking about David romantically. Why would a man such as himself glance your way, when he was surrounded by such interesting, gorgeous women?

A fan had walked up to the mic situated in the audience, you were away with your thoughts and you hadn’t realised the fan had asked a question directed toward just you, having the majority of fans ask questions primarily for David you hadn’t realised this one was for you. You felt David unlink his pinky with yours and gently place his hand on your wrist, David gave your arm a slight stroke with his thumb to get your attention, offering you a reassuring smile whilst tilting his head ever so slightly toward the fan.

“Hey, Sorry! Could you repeat that? I didn’t quite hear” you smiled at the fan, feeling bad for not listening.

“Of course! hi I’m kay! im such a huge fan of you! So obviously me and the fans want to know what was your favourite thing to do in your down time when you weren’t working on the film? We’ve seen all the photos of your guys days out but I really wanna know!” Kay finished, it was an odd question but a sweet one at that with all the photos circulating of you and the cast hanging out, fans get curious.

“Hmm, probably just catching a film with David and sometimes other cast members every so often! Or me and David would find the BEST takeout places if we were filming in the same location for a while so we’d always get takeout then build Lego sets together. Elliot would join in when he wasn’t too busy too! Me and David also have a shared love of theatre so we’d catch shows together! Especially musicals. I think having down time when filming a project like this is highly important! being around guts and gore is so so fun but day in day out can get tiring”

The fan seemed super happy with the answer you gave, but what you did miss out was any time you spent with David was your favourite when working or not, even when the job load was stressful David made it all feel okay again.

You were desperate to get off of the stage, your emotions were starting to drain you and so was your social battery and thankfully the panel was coming to a finish,

“We want to thank the panel today! to the wonderful David and Y/n!” The lady said, the crowd erupted with applause, you thanked the crowd and left the stage. The interviewer nodded her head toward you as you walked off, you returned the gesture. Once off the stage you turned to wait for David releasing she’d swooped in to give David a goodbye hug, the hug lasted a while, and with that you walked away you needed air.

Mentally beating yourself up for ever thinking there was something special between you and him, surprised at yourself for just walking away, as you’d usually wait for David or vice versa. But you needed a breather. Being in love with this man was too much. Soon as the press and cons were over you’d have to go back to your old life anyway, a life that was a million worlds away from David’s . His new found stardom would mean, you’d soon become just another makeup artist he’s worked with. And it hurt.

You’d managed to make your way outside avoiding the large crowds of horror fans by navigating the labyrinth of corridors in the venue,“Hey, y/n wait up!” David called out to you, you hadn’t realised David was behind you, his tall frame taking large fast steps toward you making his way through the door that was propped open.

“Why’d you speed off? I saw you wait for me off stage for a sec then you vanished. I was gonna ask if you wanted to sneak off and go get coffee, luckily I’d seen you through the window” he smiled down at you once he caught up, your face was flush and red. It’s like you couldn’t even look at him, you’d made your self feel like a child with a one way crush.

“Just needed some air, big crowds, it’s all new to me.” You answered him, you both walked in sync with each other. You allowed yourself to take deep breaths, it was all abit overwhelming. From being around people you now considered family every day, to falling in love, to having to do press and premieres. To knowing it was all going to go back to how it was before again.

“Wanna sit?” He gestured toward a bench, and you obliged. You had seemed to manage to find a quiet haven away from the craziness that was just beyond a wall.

“Y/n, what’s really going on? I know you were anxious but on that stage, it’s like you’d lost your sparkle. And I know for a fact you can handle your anxiety like a badass.” he was so in tuned with people, especially yourself.

“I don’t know, I guess I was in my own head. Which I shouldn’t have been. The fans had come from far and wide. And I sat there, like an idiot” you looked toward your feet, kicking at the dry, dead leaves that lay on the floor.

“well, despite what’s going on in that head. You did well, I could tell you were struggling with something but the fact you got up there and did it anyways. I’m proud of you” he once again smiled at you, nudging you lightly with his shoulder.

“Thank you David, I’m so proud of what we’ve all created. But those crowds dude. They’re intense” you said whilst letting out a long breath,

“Y/n, wanna know something funny, the interviewer slipped her number in my pocket whilst we were leaving the stage! That’s an old school trick if I ever did see one.” He laughed, suddenly the jealousy came bubbling back in your stomach again, you gave a pathetic attempt at a laugh back trying to hide the hurt but failing miserably , you were never an actor.

“Bless her, I’m sure some horror film buff will make her happy” David said as he took the piece of paper out of his pocket and crumpled it in his fist. You looked at him,

“Your not going to text her?” You questioned, genuinely confused.

David looked at you, raising an eyebrow, “Why would I want to text another woman when I’ve got the woman I want right next to me.”

Your eyebrows knit together,

“Y/n, have you not caught on yet? You think I let just anyone paint my nails” he stated, as if the question was rhetorical.

you chuckled, genuine this time, “Yes David, because you’re so sweet if someone asked if they could paint your nails you’d let them” smiling at him, he was a man to be cherished.

“Well that’s besides the point, y/n. I am absolutely crazy about you. Silly. Head over heels or what ever you want to call it. I’m in love with you. And I need to tell you now, before you have to go back, other wise I’d never do it.”

You grabbed his arm, hooking yours onto his, relaxing into the bench and crossing your leg over the other in the process. A smile so wide slapped on your face you’d look manic to anyone walking by.

“Good, because im in love with you too. And thank god, because it means I don’t have to be jealous anymore” you smirked at him, as he turned to look at you, a grin plasters on his face too.

“Jealous nelly are we? I could tell you weren’t fond of that interviewer” he said as he leaned in, to finally kiss you.

[alwaysanundertone]

Day 25: squirting | Lorenzo Berkshire

smut

TW: squirting, fingering, piv, oral (fem! receiving)

You and Enzo had been going at it for a while now, to the point that you started feeling a bit overwhelmed. He had eaten you out, made you come on his fingers, fucked you doggy style, and now he was going for round two as you simply laid down, taking what he was giving to you.

“Such a good girl, are you going to come for me for the fourth time tonight?” You felt one of his hands pressing down on your lower belly, making you feel a new type of pleasure. When he started hitting your G-spots, you panicked. “Enzo, Enzo I have to go peeing, please” He smile down at you, picking up the rhythm instead of slowing down, making your anxiety go through the roof. “Baby, I’m not kidding, I’m going to piss on you and then” You interrupted yourself with a loud moan, making him chuckle. “It’s not funny Lorenzo”

But you didn’t have the time to protest more, the orgasm washing over you, making your eyes roll back and your muscles tense. Enzo slowed down a bit his rhythm, his hand still applying the same type of pressure on your belly. Your vision went black for a while, and when you came back and looked down, you were horrified, seeing your boyfriend’s thighs drenched.

“Oh, my God Enzo, I’m so fucking sorry” He put a hand on your mouth, his lips spread into a proud smirk, making you slightly confused.

“I made you squirt”

You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t even think it was possible for you to do such thing, it never, ever happened. “Love, I don’t think-“

“You’re going to do it again, baby” He picked up his rhythm once more, your hands flying to his ass to try and keep him still, you felt so sensitive you thought you could die if you were to come once more.

“Lorenzo, I’m so sensitive, please, don’t” You begged him with your eyes, your clit was throbbing painfully, sending sharp shocks all over your body.

“You’re doubting me, honey? I know you; I know you’ve got one more in you. Plus, I have to prove you that you can squirt, baby. Let go, let me make you feel good.” While he was talking to you, he gently gripped your wrists, bringing them over your head, holding them in one of his hands.

He picked up the rhythm once more, his free hand going straight to your clit, caressing it softly, not failing to make you twitch. “Enzo, fuck” Your eyes rolled back once more, at this point you didn’t know if you wanted him to stop completely, or if you wanted him to make you come once again. You whimpered as he pressed down more firmly on your clit.

“You’re so pretty like this, princess. So responsive, so good for me. Gonna make you squirt once more, you’re so fucking hot” Your tits were bouncing violently in rhythm with his thrusts, and you felt the same feeling as before, your bladder suddenly too full; this time, though, you realized it wasn’t pee you were going to release. Your eyes widened as your boyfriend smirked down on you.

“Told you I can make you squirt. Now go on, love, let go for me”

And you did, your mouth producing the most obscene sounds you had ever heard, Enzo finally coming, painting your walls with his seed, collapsing on top of you. After a while, you peered up at him, your cheeks flushed. “I… I ruined your sheets, and you’re dirty, and”

He placed a gentle hand on your cheek, kissing your lips ever so softly. “Don’t worry, baby, it was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I knew you could do it, I just had to keep going”

Suddenly, you connected the dots. “Wait, wait wait wait, so that’s why you made sure I was drinking enough water today? And the hand on my stomach?” He grinned at you as you slapped his bicep lightly. “You’re an ass! You could have told me”

“But then you would have shied away and I really wanted for you to be relaxed for me” He kissed you once again, you instantly melted under his touch, your mind too hazy to put up more of a fight. “Plus, tell me you didn’t enjoy it?”

This actively shut you up. You grumbled, gripping the back of his neck and kissing him harshly, as he chuckled into your mouth. At the end of the day, your had a boyfriend who’s main goal was to make you feel good, who cares if he tricked you into squirting, right?

tags: @sxmnc @peterparkerspersonalplaything @riaaavm @iamawkwardandshy @eeviee4 @mysterialee @famouscrusadeluminary @el1smells @rishofkf @mooonyxoxo @happymaeday @yourfiendlyneighbourspiderman @whyshouldihaveanam3 @amazing-bobinsky @barnesandmetal @just-here-for-ff @remussbitch @sammyreid

[singularattitudeofasafetypin]

Safe With Me

Masterlist

Summary: Reader gets anxious when Eddie drives fast but is afraid to tell him in case he thinks she's boring.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: insecurity, descriptions of anxiety, reference to a parent driving dangerously when mad

Please don't steal my work

Eddie always drives like a maniac.

His rickety old van was infamous around town, careening down quiet roads and scaring the life out of their residents. Hopper had issued more tickets than he could count but nothing seemed to deter him. Maybe it was the rush it gave him? The thrill of breaking the rules or maybe he was just reckless?

Whatever it was, it just wasn’t the same for you.

Driving always made you anxious. You could count on one hand the number of times you’d driven since getting your licence. Every time you tried your mind was flooded with all the things that could go horribly wrong. Panic set in your chest. Thoughts rushing so loud you couldn’t focus on the road in front of you. You didn’t even own your own car.

But it ran deeper than that.

When you were younger, you could always tell if your dad was mad by the way he drove. Always pushing the speed limit after an argument, getting just a little too close to the car in front and yelling out the window when someone got in his way. Your heart would race, breath hitch when he broke sharply, and your foot tap on an imaginary break when he didn’t slow ‘til the last minute. Thankfully, nothing bad had ever happened to you, but it frightened you all the same.

When you and Eddie got together a few months back, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d had a crush on him forever! All it took was a push from Nancy and a shove from Dustin to find out he felt the same way.

Eddie was wonderful! The perfect boyfriend really. You couldn’t be happier.

But then he’d offered to drive you home.

You’d happily climbed into the passenger seat, smiling as he shut the door behind you. He kissed your cheek, flicked on the radio, and turned the key in the ignition.

It was all you could do not to gasp when he pulled out of the parking lot.

From the first lurch, your heart began fluttering like a bird straining against your ribs, desperate to be free of its cage. Eddie kept talking like nothing was wrong. You could barely make out his words over the noise of the radio and the rushing panic in your ears. You tried to smile and nod at what you hoped were appropriate times but adrenaline was coursing through your body, breath coming in sharp, shallow gulps.

He skidded to a halt outside your house and immediately hopped out to get the door for you.

‘Your palace, my lady!’ he grinned, helping you down by the hand with his usual theatrical flair. You smiled weakly.

‘Thanks Eddie.’

He kissed you goodbye and you did your best to smile and wave as he went tearing down the street and around the corner before letting a shaky breath out. Residual nausea beginning to dissipate as you stepped inside.

In hindsight, maybe you should have just talked to him. Told him how you felt, been honest. You know, the sort of thing you’re supposed to do in relationships but it was all still so new! You rehearsed the conversation in your mind a thousand times but it just sounded pathetic. Like you were making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe you were? ‘Just leave it!’ you thought, ‘He’ll think you’re so boring!’

So instead, you made excuses.

‘Sorry Eds, I can’t. My mum’s picking me up today!’

‘I want to bike home today. It’s so sunny!’

‘I’m going to Nancy’s, she said she’d take me.’

It was all going so well until the universe turned against you. Or rather, the weather did.

You stood under the bike shelter, staring up at the charcoal sky as fat raindrops fell hard against the roof. They spattered over the school parking lot, sloshing in puddles and trickling along the gutters while a bitter wind waxed and waned. Icy drips hit your knuckles, white as they gripped your bike’s handlebars. You sighed. Ten minutes since school ended and the sky had only gotten darker. The rain wasn’t stopping any time soon.

Tugging the yellow hood of your raincoat over your head, you ventured out into the deluge. You were busy dreading every second of the freezing ride home when your attention was caught by a familiar voice hollering your name. You couldn’t help but smile when you turned. Eddie was sprinting toward you, his own dark raincoat held over his head rather than around his shoulders while his scuffed-up trainers splashed along the ground.

‘No way am I letting you bike home in this!’ he scolded good-naturedly when he reached you, ‘Let me give you a ride home!’

Your smile faltered.

‘It’s okay Eddie…’ you searched frantically for a reason to refuse him, ‘I was just gonna call my mum!’

Sure, you were! Halfway across the parking lot, clearly heading away from school. The lie was so obvious, Eddie nearly laughed. ‘Don’t you remember? You said she was at work today!’

‘Oh yeah,’ Idiot! You cursed yourself, ‘Nancy then! We’ve actually been meaning to meet up and study.’

Eddie frowned a little, ‘She’s got that thing after school, doesn’t she? I saw her unlocking the darkroom on the way out.’

Strike two!

‘Yeah, I uh…’ your confidence crumbled, ‘I can just wait for her or something…’ The ruse was becoming thinner by the second. Eddie folded his arms.

‘What’s this actually about?’ he asked, ‘Why won’t you just let me take you home?’ His words weren’t angry or accusing, just confused, but a flicker of panic began to rise in your chest. ‘You haven’t let me drive you anywhere for weeks,’ he went on, ‘Have I done something to upset you?’

‘No!’

‘Then what is it?’ his dark brown eyes filled with worry as thunder rolled in the distance. Eddie’s arms ached from holding his coat, his fingers bitterly cold. The rain had seeped into his shoes and through his socks but he didn’t care. All that mattered was figuring out what he’d done wrong!

It didn’t make sense. He couldn’t remember anything he’d said or done that could make you pull away. You were just as content and affectionate most of the time but at the end of the school day, you couldn’t seem to lose him fast enough.

You wouldn’t look him in the eye now, your hands gripping your bike so tight he was afraid you might hurt yourself. How had he managed to screw up the best thing that had happened to him so soon?

‘Please?’ he was begging, the slight tremor in his voice betraying his fear as you bit your lip nervously, ‘Just tell me!’

‘I don’t like it when you drive fast!’

You just sort of blurted it out. No ceremony, no elegance. The words fell clumsily from your mouth, tugged almost involuntarily. Eddie didn’t say anything.

Now the words wouldn’t stop, tumbling out too fast, trying to justify. ‘I know, it’s stupid! Childish, I know!’ Despite the cold, you felt your cheeks turn warm. ‘But it just makes me really anxious and I-!’

‘Is that all?’

You stopped abruptly, looking up as an elated smile began to pull at the corner of his mouth. This wasn’t what you’d expected. His eyes held a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and hope.

‘Yeah?’ your voice came out uncertain but the smile only spread wider.

It was as though a weight had been lifted. Of course, Eddie felt awful that he’d scared you, even more so that he hadn’t even noticed. But this, this was something he could fix! He laughed a little, almost giddy with relief. ‘So then, I just won’t drive fast baby!’

You blinked in surprise, rendered speechless. Eddie shrugged his coat on at lightning speed, his hair already sodden by the time he was easing your bike from your grip. ‘Really?’ You hadn’t expected it to be that simple. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head as though it was obvious.

‘Really! Now come on, you’re getting soaked!’ and without waiting for an answer, he turned and started wheeling your bike across the parking lot. You hurried after him, puddles splashing under your feet and wetting your socks.

‘You mean it?’ you asked when you reached the van. Eddie was pulling open the doors and stowing your bike safely in the back. He just nodded, opening the passenger side door next and helping you in.

He climbed in the other side, wriggling his coat off and tossing it behind him before turning the key in the ignition. You fiddled anxiously with your fingers. ‘You don’t think I’m being annoying?’ insecurity gnawed away at your stomach, ‘Or boring? Or silly? Or-? ‘

‘Sweetheart,’ Eddie interrupted, taking your hand and pressing a reassuring kiss to your fingertips. He looked up at you with those kind, warm eyes and melted your concern with his soft, tender voice, ‘I want you to feel safe with me.’

You sighed out. There was no deception, no hidden irritation or passive aggression. Eddie really meant it. He wanted you to be happy. Your peace was his priority.

‘Okay?’ he asked, still watching your face for confirmation.

You smiled shyly and nodded, ‘Okay.’

Eddie grinned back, pressing another kiss to your hand before dropping it and returning his own to the steering wheel.

True to his word, the ride home was as gentle as you could have wished for. You doubted Eddie had even driven this responsibly on his test… if he’d ever taken one. After five or ten minutes, you found the usual anxious knot that twisted in your chest had unwound. The tension in your muscles evaporated and soon you were laughing and joking with Eddie and singing along to the radio.

Before you knew it, he was pulling up outside your house. Funny, you thought, he’d been so cautious and yet the journey seemed to take half the time. You kissed his cheek and hopped down from the van.

The rain had stopped. Tarmac still dark and damp and small puddles were left here and there but blue sky and sunshine were breaking through the clouds, warming the sidewalk and glittering gold in the dew drops.

‘Can I pick you up tomorrow?’ Eddie asked, opening up the back to lift your bike out. He was tentative, worried he was pushing too far but you smiled and nodded.

‘Yes, thanks Eddie!’

You took the bike from him and turned to wheel it toward the porch when an indignant ‘Hey!’ sounded behind you. Eddie clutched at his heart, collapsing onto the side of the van gasping dramatically, ‘No goodbye kiss? Oh, cruel temptress! Is there no compassion? No mercy?’

With peals of laughter, you ran back to oblige him. He squeezed his arms around you, smiling so hard it was hardly a real kiss. This time, there was no barrier between you. No shadow, no secrets. Only the sweetness that honesty in love brings.

You walked your bike back down the garden path, waving to Eddie as the van pulled away. You watched him draw further and further down the street until he disappeared around the corner.

You smiled and rummaged for your keys. The weight on your shoulders had dissolved to nothing and somehow, you were even lighter than before.

Eddie Munson always drove like a maniac.

Until he didn’t.

Until you.

***

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed writing this. If you liked it, please reblog and comment! I love hearing what people thought of my writing! Check out my masterlist for more!

Taglist: @sadbitchfangirl, @neewtmas, @ladymunson

[thewulf]

Never a Burden || Legolas

Summary: Request: hiyaaa i have another legolas fic ideaaa! You write him soo well. How about reader who hasnt slept in a while and always offers to take watch. Legolas ofc notices after a bit and demands she doesnt take watch that night... Read Rest Here

A/N: Another one for my fav elf. Thanks always for the requests!!

Pairing: Legolas x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.1k +

TW: General LOTR triggers, anxiety, fear

Throwing out your bedroll you knew it would be a useless effort trying to sleep as it was so dark out. The stars were hiding behind a thick layer of cloud that had other plans for the night. The further along in the journey to Mordor the more your anxiety grew. Ever since the group was attacked by orcs not long back you couldn’t seem to fall asleep at night. You were left to sleep during the small breaks the Hobbits needed or when you got to sit on the horse.

The attack was weeks ago now. The lack of sleep and the constant moving was really starting to get to you. You’d do anything to be back in Rivendell under the elves protection. One of those elf beds would feel immaculate in this moment.

“I’ll take the first watch.” You yawned, speaking to the group as they huddled around the fire trying to keep warm.

Legolas looked up to you with skepticism in his eyes. He was the most observant of the group. He’d noticed you slept less than he had ever since the ten of them left Rivendell. He didn’t know you well. You’d come accompanying Boromir, but he quickly grew a liking to you. You were quiet and reserved, speaking only when you thought it was needed and always helping. Even him being an elf didn’t negate the fact he found you quite striking for both a non-ellon and a human altogether. That and you were far more intriguing than any other creature he’d come across in all his years across middle earth. How had the thirty-year-old mortal done that to him? What were you doing to him?

Legolas was a far departure from his father, King Thranduil, who had a disdain towards the human race. Instead, Legolas found humans, you more so, absolutely fascinating. How much the race managed to cram in their short lives. It exhausted him at the thought of what mortals went through. But it was their normal.

“Aye Lassie. Why don’t you let Legolas take the first watch. You’ve been up quite a bit, yeah?” Gimli spoke up after Legolas had confided him in of his worries over you. Usually, you were chatty and upbeat, but that personality Legolas had looked forward too had vanished all too quickly.

“Oh, it’s all right. Really. I’m not terribly tired.” You lied. You were exhausted but sleep just wouldn’t come.

Legolas shook his head, “I insist, Y/N. You’ve taken watch nearly every night for the last few weeks. You need a break.”

You bit your cheek trying to bite back your usual sharp tongue. He was just trying to be kind. Little did he know he was doing the opposite of what you wanted. You craved a distraction from the darkening thoughts in your mind that drove your fear and anxieties through the roof.

You gave up after a few hours. The snores of all the males around you irritating you more than soothing you too sleep at this rate. You got up from your bedroll and walked down the path to find Legolas. You knew he’d be displeased at your arrival but truly, you could not sleep. After a few moments of wandering in the dark it was he who found you. He had the advantage of being an elf and all.

“Whatever are you doing awake mellon nin?” It was like he appeared out of thin air startling you more than you wanted to admit. You spun around look up into his ever so blue eyes that shone bright in the darkness. Somehow they were striking even in the dead of the night.

“I said I could not sleep. Gimli’s snores are bothering me. I needed to be away.” You sighed in frustration.

Legolas took your hand like he had so many times before. You tried to ignore the way your heart raced at his touch. Needing to get over it, it wasn’t uncommon to have to touch or pull or shield another person or creature in the fellowship from time to time. It didn’t mean anything; it was just how things were. Legolas could never like a human like you. You’d be gone in the blink of an eye. It was probably funny for elves, little mortal crushes that they likely forgot about after some time.

“Come sit.” He pulled you down with him at the base of a large tree. Once you’d settled down beside him he continued, “What bothers you?”

You weren’t really going to tell him. That was far too embarrassing. You were supposed to be a fearless Ranger of Gondor. You’d been hand selected to travel with Boromir at request of his father, Denethor II. How could you deny such an honorable request? A female hand selected? You had a job to do, and you were going to do it well. Even if it quite literally killed you.

Instead, you shrugged, “Cannot sleep is all.”

Legolas wasn’t going to accept that as your answer, “Why not mellon nin?”

You turned your head to look at his, “I don’t know. Sleep has always been hard for me.” It was a lie even Legolas could see right on through.

He was quiet for a moment before pressing on a bit further, “You view me as your friend, no?”

You’d known him for a few months now after departing from Rivendell and naturally you’d grown close to him the quickest. Boromir was always a comfort as he reminded you so much of home, Minas Tirith. But Legolas brought out a different sort of bliss that drew you too him. He was funny, witty, sarcastic, and so different than any other elf you’d met in your almost thirty years in middle earth.

“Of course, I do Legolas. Why do you ask?” Maybe if you played dumb he wouldn’t press.

But you were wrong, “You can talk to me about what is bothering you. I have noticed you have been… off.” He paused looking over to you to see your reaction. Your eyes widened slightly at his realization of you sudden change. You should’ve known he would notice. He was far more observant than the common male you usually found yourself around in the mortal world, “I am worried for you mellon. I have not seen you smile in weeks. When was the last time you slept through the night?” He asked hoping you would open up to him for once. Legolas had found you to be particularly hard to crack. Most Rangers were but you didn’t seem like you’d ever budge. You’d been trained to be a stone wall and you were excelling at it.

You looked down feeling suddenly guilty for making him worry about you of all things. There were so many things that his attention needed to be on, not you and your emotions, “I cannot sleep. Not at night at least.” You yawned feeling the exhaustion overwhelming you, but your mind would not shut off even as you begged it.

Legolas nodded, motioning for you to continue, “I know this.” He said without judgement.

You let out a small sigh knowing you’d just have to tell him. He was never going to stop, not now, “Ever since the orc’s attacked us. I can’t seem to sleep. My head will not let me Legolas. I try, trust me I try so hard. And I am so tired. So tired I am afraid I have become a liability. What good will I be in battle if I can hardly handle my sword anymore. I am weak and tired and…” You felt the tears overwhelming your vision as you let it all out. Once the words had started it was like a waterfall had come out of your mouth.

Legolas ran a comforting hand up and down your back as you let it out. You wanted to run away from his touch as you had so many times before. You were a Ranger. Rangers had solo lives. You couldn’t get attached; it wasn’t fair to anybody let alone you. But damn, as his fingers traced up and down your back you knew you needed it. This life was lonely, and you were terribly touch starved. It felt so good. You knew his touch kept you from spiraling further into your own mind. Thankfully, the tears subsided before a full-blown anxiety attack took over your emotions.

Once your sniffles subsided he spoke up trying to continue to provide you the needed comfort, “I will let no harm befall you mellon nin.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze hoping it would provide you some additional comfort you needed. Legolas was no expert in elf emotion let alone human woman ones. But you seemed to be responding to his gentle advances positively so he concluded he must have been doing something correctly.

You sniffled knowing you probably looked awful under the tears that had slipped out. It had been so long since you cried. Not when you learned your mother had passed. Not when you’d been stabbed many times over training and being a Ranger. No, now when Legolas had finally got you to open up to him after months of trying.

“You cannot promise that Legolas.” Your voice sounded horse after letting more out than you had intended.

His eyes narrowed in on your puffy cheeks, raw from the crying, “I can, and I do, Ranger of Gondor.”

But you shook your head in response, “I do not wish to ask that of you Legolas. You need to look out for yourself and the Hobbits.”

“And you.” He only cocked his head to get a better look at you. He wasn’t shying away from the conversation like you were. It had become too difficult to look him in the eye at this point. You were too mortified by the breakdown and the now defense that was stemming from it.

He was as stubborn as you were, “Legolas you…”

But he stopped you by placing a hand on your arm, “I do not wish to offend. But you can hardly hold up your sword any longer. Do not think that has gone unnoticed by me nor Aragorn. You cannot protect yourself let alone Boromir. Not until you let yourself rest.”

You looked away once again in shame. Thinking you’d done an excellent job at hiding these exact ailments. Words were suddenly hard as you failed to come up with a sentence. What was the best way to admit how scared you were to sleep. How embarrassing for a literal Ranger. If anybody were judging, thankfully for you, they chose not to say a thing.

“As I said, I do not wish to offend you.” He said once more, this time a little softer as he dropped his hand from your arm leaving you aching for that touch that seemed to come so rarely these days.

“Hardly.” You swallowed your breath and took the moment to finally look at Legolas once again. He was studying your exhausted form before his icy blue eyes landed on yours. While you knew you couldn’t see him as well as he could see you, your eyes finally adjusted to the darkness. He was a vision even coated by the darkness of the night. You’d never been particularly fond of elves. You had always found them to be far too prim and proper for your rough lifestyle. But Legolas defied all your expectations by being exactly what you hadn’t expected him to be.

He let out a sigh knowing you weren’t going to say anything further, “Will you try to sleep?”

But you shook your head, “No. It just frustrates me. Laying there, listening to the rest of them snore away.”

The elf next to you contemplated something for a few moments before finally saying something, “Go grab your bedroll.”

“What?” That was the last thing you expected him to say.

“You will sleep here.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

There weren’t many excuses you could make as you just shook your head in disagreement, “I cannot do that…”

“Why not? I will help you sleep.” He stood from his spot offering a hand out for you to take. With slight hesitation you let him pull you up from your seated position on the base of the tree with a small pull.

“I do not wish to burden you with such small problems. We have much larger problems at hand is all.” You spoke out your final fear. Why should he care? All of middle earth was relying on your group to make it to Mordor to get rid of the ring. What was a little lack of sleep when orcs and evil could be ruling the world if they were unsuccessful.

His head snapped to yours with nothing but concern. An emotion he’d been wearing as he looked over you as of late, “You are not a burden. You are never a burden. It is a burden to see you not sleep. It is a burden to see you so weak when you are so strong. It is a burden that you have not come to me sooner mellon nin. Go get your bedroll and bring it here. I will help you sleep.”

Snapping your mouth shut you simply nodded to him, “I will be back momentarily.” Walking with haste you walked like a dog that had been kicked by its owner. Legolas had never been so outright with you before. You are never a burden… what had he meant of that?

When you had gotten back to him, very momentarily, he had already cleared out a space for you to sleep. Without saying much more you got into your bedroll knowing that sleep would be hard to come by, even away from the snoring of the males. Even getting all your fears out into the world you still knew sleep would never befall you.

“Close your eyes.” Legolas sat next to you being sure to keep his senses heightened as he helped you.

But before you did you needed to know one thing, “Legolas?”

“Yes?”

You turned your head towards him, “What did you mean I will never be a burden?”

He smiled a touch at your unusual vulnerability peeking through, “Exactly that mellon nin.” He began to brush through your knotted hair gently. His mother did this so many times when he was young to provide a sense of comfort. With the utmost gentleness he brushed out the knots from the long days of travel and lack of being able to wash, “I care for you very deeply, you know that. You are never a burden. You are my…” He paused wanting to say more but knowing it was not the right time. He was trying to get you to sleep not confess is true feelings, “friend. And I care for you. We care for you. We need you to care for yourself now.”

You hummed knowing he was right, “Okay. But… I am scared. Sleeping brings the terrors I cannot hide behind any longer.”

He shook his head continuing to stroke your hair, “I will fight them away. Fear not. Close your eyes. Trust me.”

You nodded closing your eyes beneath his gentle touch. Even as stubborn as you were his soft touch through your hair was already lulling you into a state you hadn’t seen in nearly three weeks. His tender touch was almost enough to lull you into a hopefully dreamless sleep. When he started softly humming a tune you’d so rarely heard you knew sleep would overcome you shortly.

“Thank you Legolas.” You mumbled unsure if the words were even coherent in your sleepy state.

“I will be here you when you wake, mellon nin.” He continued humming and brushing through your hair even after your breathes evened out letting the ellon know you were finally asleep. He continued to have his touch on you throughout the night knowing it was what your needed to feel safe.

When your eyes were hit with the sun the next morning Legolas had kept true to his word. He was sitting beside you with his eyes on your waking form. You’d have been more embarrassed by his eyes on had he not spoken up before you could.

“How did you sleep?”

Scooting to sit up next to him you gave him a quick nod, “Very well. I do not believe I woke up once. I feel… good.” Giving him a smile that he had so rarely seen form you as of late he grinned in return to yours.

“Good. We will do this again tonight.” He stood offering his hand to yours.

You took his hand once again relishing in the closeness the two of you were having so ardently over the last few hours, “You must sleep too.”

“Do not worry about me. I have had plenty. With you taking every watch as of late I have been able to rest.” He smirked knowing you wouldn’t have a good enough comeback for that one.

“If you insist…” You wanted to give him an out. He didn’t need to care for you. To watch over you. He had other, much more important, things to worry about.

“I do.”

Deciding it best to pack up you just looked to him after, “All right then. We will do this again tonight.”

He nodded with a small smile playing on his lips, “I have forgotten how agreeable you are once you have slept my lady.”

Your mouth dropped open at that backhanded compliment that came so naturally to your elven friends, “I am not that bad.”

He shook his head mindlessly placing his hand on your back guiding you back to camp as you were distracted by him, “Just less stubborn is all.” His grin only widened seeing you crinkle your nose up trying to come up with a comeback but coming up short.

“You test my patience elf.” You spoke with a hint of sarcasm coming from within. As much as he tested you, you needed him far more than you could imagine. He’d become somebody to lean and rely on. Somebody who could be there for you when it was so often the other way around. He promised you’d never be a burden to him.

He laughed that beautiful sound that made your heart race, “And you mine. But, I would have it no other way.” You shut your mouth as the two of you made your way to camp where the eight of them were sitting, waiting on the two of you. He must’ve let you sleep longer than normal because they were all awake and ready to go. But seemingly unfazed by your appearance with the elf. He must’ve done or said something. Making true to his word. You would never be a burden.

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[aesthetically-dying101]

Law of Attraction. (part 1)

A/N: this is part 1 of a series (gonna be three or four i believe), inspired by irl events.

Other parts: Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4; Part 5 ; Part 6.

SO, couple things to know: r. is in her second year of psychology, Nanami is in his third year of law. R is definitely very anxious, not used to being out of her element.

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, reader can be seen as annoying and a bit pathetic, frustrating all around.

Do not copy nor translate my work.

You slip into the classroom, late as usual-to be fair, your eyeliner wasn't cooperating this morning, and then the bus to campus was late, so a 6 minute tardy wasn't the end of the world in your book.

The door creaks as it closes behind you, and all eyes turn. 

Great.

Just what you needed on the first day of class- you almost want to shrink away and sprint out of there.

The professor, a middle-aged man in a stuffy suit, squints at you over his glasses. He's got that "I-know-you're-not-supposed-to-be-here" vibe. You can almost see the judgement radiating off him.

"Uh, excuse me," he says, pausing the lecture. "Are you... in the right room?"

"Uh, I'm not lost, I'm just late," you say, forcing a smile-whyyyy must he speak to you. "And I'm definitely in the right class. I checked the schedule, like, five times- apologies for my tardiness."

You made a beeline for the empty seat at the back. Your boots make a soft clomp on the polished floor, your bracelets clinking together. He still watches you like you might steal something—maybe the textbook on the desk, or the air in the room. 

You're just here because it's a graduation requirement.

 A requirement you absolutely cannot avoid. Because of course, your major in psychology doesn't cover "basic law" in the slightest.

Perfect. Just the vibe you need to kick off a semester of law school with zero chill.

"As I was saying," he drones, clearly trying to regain control after the tiny disruption you caused, "the fundamentals of law—"

*-*

A little while later it's finally break time- coffee time- cigarette time- whatever you want to call it. Anyways you finally get to breath fresh air after an hour in that room.

You could really use something to wake you up, but you're pretty sure that if you drink one more coffee today, your heart might start skipping beats in protest. 

Still, it's a necessary evil.

You stepped out after the rest of the students, and ironically, followed them to the coffee machine. As you waited in the small line that had formed, a girl and her friends-your classmates- turned to look at you.

"So.. how many of those d'you have?" She asked as she gestured to your face- you had snakebites, eyebrow piercings, tongue piercing... ect.

"Huh?" You glance down at yourself, trying to pretend you didn't know exactly what she meant. "Oh... like, twenty-five? Overall."

She opens her mouth again, clearly working through some internal monologue. "That's... a lot."

You smile, your smiley piercing peeking and catching the light a bit, you can tell she zeroed in on it. You decided to be nice today-good impressions to make- and its not like your anxiety was through the roof just because she was talking to you. Nahhh, not at all.

"Yeah, it's not for everyone, but I like it." You shrugged. 

 "It's just, well, kind of intense." She said. Her friends share amused glances. You know its at your expense. Of course.

"Intensity's good," you replied. "Keeps life interesting."

You finally reach the machine, ready to make your decision—coffee or death by caffeine overdose. The coffee's already in your hand, steam rising from it like a beacon of your need to function today. You act as if it doesn't bother you that these people look at you like a freak.

It was easier anyways, to act as if it didn't matter, that their looks and comments didn't matter. 

They did.

But you could never allow them to know. 

*-*

It's two days later when you get the email: "Group assignment – Nanami Kento and Y/N, please meet to discuss your project." 

Fun. 

A couple minutes later your phone buzzed- an unknown number:

-Hello Y/N, I saw the email. Shall we meet tomorrow to discuss the project?-

You can almost hear the smugness in the message. So you replied back quickly, your fingers tapping out the message. 

-im free after 3 pm tomorrow. Lmk if that works for you-

Almost imidietly, your phone buzes again:

-3 pm works. See you tomorrow.-

Just cold, efficient, business-like. You feel a knot in your stomach, you're not always a fan of social interactions, especially with people you didn't know.

It made you nervous. 

*-*

The next day, you were sitting in the not so comfy chairs right outside the library, in the hall. Your Marshall headphones absolutely blasting some metal- Silvera by Gojira- because of course. You were waiting for Nanami, your leg jumping up and down, the chain on your pants jingling ever so slightly. And you were toying with your tongue piercing, which you probably shouldn't be doing in public, but it's a nervous habit at this point.

You've got a few minutes before Nanami shows up for the first official group meeting, and you're already wishing you could just skip the whole thing.

The music helps. 

Sort of.

Just make it through this, and it'll be over before you know it, you tell yourself. Just try to be normal. Don't screw this up.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You hate these awkward situations. It's like your brain goes into overdrive the moment you're forced into a new dynamic.

The minutes crawl by. You check the time. He's late. By three minutes? You tap your foot faster, frustrated.

Finally, Nanami strolls into view. Of course he looks like he's just stepped out of some glossy magazine, perfectly composed, hair looking like it belongs on the cover of Vogue- you wonder how sharp his damn jawline is. He doesn't even rush to get to you. He walks calmly, his steps measured like he's not even in a hurry.

"Sorry I'm late," he said. 

"No worries." You pause your music, turning off the headphones as you put them in your book bag. 

You grab your bag, and the two of you stroll into the library, and sit at a table near one of the large windows. The sunlight streams in, making you squint just a little.

"Okay," you say, forcing yourself to speak first. "So... what do we need to do for this project?"

You're not the best at these things—social interactions with new people tend to make you feel like you're doing everything wrong, like every word that leaves your mouth could be the wrong one.

He doesn't respond imidietely, he flips open his notebook with that same deliberate calm. It's like he's prepared for everything already, and you're just the last-minute addition. You're not used to working with people who act like they already have it all together. It makes you feel... out of place.

Your eyes flicker from his notebook, his hand, to his face.

"I've already got some notes down," he says, finally breaking the silence, his voice smooth and even. "I think we should focus on how law impacts psychological theories—specifically criminal psychology."

"Right," you reply,trying not to sound too weird. "Sounds... good. I mean, I know some stuff about criminal psychology."

You both look down at your notes. A weird silence settles for a second..

"Okay, so we'll split the work then," he says finally, without even asking what you think. "I'll handle the legal side. You can focus on the psychological theories."

You clear your throat. 

"Sure. Sounds like a plan."

*-*

The first few weeks were rocky as hell.

On the outside, you're organized. You've got all your notes neatly compiled, timelines marked down in your planner like some kind of model student.Notes neatly compiled? Check. Timelines drawn out in your planner with color-coded pens? Check. A folder labeled in precise Sharpie handwriting—Nanami Kento because, apparently, you were feeling extra that day? Check. 

You're efficient. You're capable. 

But beneath that layer of outward control, you're a mess.

Your brain didn't stop. Ever.

Every time you sit down to work, you feel the weight of it all—the pressure to do things right, to not mess up, to make a good impression. You can't help it; you always feel like you're walking a tightrope.

A walking bundle of stress.

But still, you power through it. You're smart enough to know what you're doing. You get the work done. You turn in your sections on time, all carefully researched and well-written. It's just the part where you have to interact that's the problem.

Nanami. Quiet. Distant. 

Annoyingly perfect Nanami, who never said anything more than he absolutely had to.

One day, you decide to push past the anxiety and just talk. Just talk. It's so easy in your head. You'll just ask him something random, maybe about the topic, maybe something more personal. Anything to get him to engage. You approach him after class, nerves humming in your chest.

"Hey, Nanami," you say, trying for casual. "I was thinking we could—uh, maybe—grab coffee and brainstorm? You know, to get ahead on the project?"

You'd rehearsed it in your head a dozen times. This wasn't supposed to feel like walking into an active volcano.

"I'm fine with just working through the notes," he responds, voice flat and detached.

Oh. Okay. Cool. Sure. Great.

You nod stiffly, smiling like it's not eating you up inside. 

"Right. No problem."

You weren't exactly a loner. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that you were stuck in this godforsaken law class for six months. Six. Whole. Months. And all your friends? They'd already knocked this requirement out of the way semesters ago. You were the last one, the straggler, the odd one out.

The law faculty was 24 minutes away from the Psychology and Health building. You'd timed it. Twice. It meant you couldn't pop over to see your friends between classes, and they couldn't come to you. Even during breaks, you were stuck wandering the halls like some kind of ghost.

So, yeah. You were alone. Completely, totally, painfully alone.

*-*

You tried.

You really did.

For weeks, you made a conscious effort to bridge the gaping chasm between you and Nanami. You complimented his organization skills, because seriously, the man's planner was like something out of a productivity cult's fever dream: color-coded tabs, clean handwriting, even sticky notes aligned with ruler-like precision.

"Your notes are impressive," you said once, hoping it sounded casual and not desperate. "Like, borderline superhuman. Mine look like a crime scene in comparison."

He'd glanced at you, his expression unreadable, and replied with a flat, "Thank you."

That was it. No follow-up. No "oh, let me see yours" or even the faintest flicker of interest.

Just. Thank you.

So you tried a different approach. One day after class, you threw out an idea: 

"Hey, I was thinking—we could study together sometime? Maybe go over the readings or brainstorm ideas. I mean, two heads are better than one, right?"

He adjusted his bag strap and responded in his usual, maddeningly polite tone. "I think it's more efficient if we continue working independently."

Efficient. He'd said it like you were a factory line. Not like two human beings trapped in the same unfortunate group project.

You plastered on a tight smile. "Right. Efficient. Got it."

So that was it. From then on you kept things strictly professional.

Or tried to anyways.

*-*

And it got worse the third week of class.

Not Nanami specifically, but the others. You thought you'd been keeping a low profile—sitting at the back of the lecture hall, barely making a sound, trying to just coast through it. But even in the back, you still managed to stand out. You couldn't help it. The piercings, the eyeliner, the mismatched layers— only for them to all stop and stare at the girl in the corner with the combat boots and chaotic hair.

They weren't the kindest, not to you anyways. 

You kept to yourself, staying in the back of the lecture hall, even though you still stood painfully out.

You weren't stupid. You saw it. You felt it. You just... couldn't do anything about it.

And then it happened.

"Can you imagine having to work with her?"

That voice. One of the guys from the row in front of you. The one with the crisp suit and the perfectly combed hair. "Poor Nanami. That's gotta suck, huh?"

You froze. Nanami. The name hung in the air like an accusation.

"She's a freak. I mean, have you seen her?" Another voice. This one higher-pitched, feminine. She had that smug tone. The one that made your skin crawl. "You'd think someone would tell her to tone it down before she completely ruins her reputation here."

The words hit harder than you'd expected. They weren't even directed at you. They were about you.

"Yeah, Nanami's probably just trying to get through it. That project's already doomed."

"Poor guy. He's too nice to just flat-out say it, but I bet he's wishing he got paired with anyone else."

You couldn't breathe for a second. You wanted to shrink into your seat and disappear. A freak? Ruining his reputation?

Your stomach churned. This wasn't just judgment. It was pity. Pity that tasted worse than anything else. You weren't a freak, you were just... a bit different. And anyways, you fit in perfectly with your crowd, these people weren't said crowd. You weren't doing anything wrong. You were just trying to survive this godforsaken class.

But in their eyes? No. You were an obstacle to their perfect little law world.

You bit down on your lip, hard enough to taste blood. Don't cry. Don't give them the satisfaction. Don't show weakness.

You could still hear the murmur of their conversation in the background, distant but sharp.

"I don't know how he puts up with her," the guy said again.

Your hands were shaking. You couldn't even look up.

The professor's voice rang out then, snapping you back into the present.

"Alright, everyone, back to the material."

You just wanted to go home.

--

A/n: the reason that this is "short" is that i got a ... rud-ish anon ask telling me that my posts were too long so.. i hope this is better haha. Part two will be posted within the hour i think (and linked on this post)

:)

[tadpolesonalgae]

They get turned on when you’re angry — headcanons

a/n: thank you 🩰 for this thought, and thank you anon for requesting it 🧡💛 (this is ever so slightly unserious, please accept my apologies)

warnings: starts out suggestive, derails into smut :)

Rhysand:

“You can’t keep insisting you’re the most handsome High Lord at the High Lord meetings, Rhys!”

You’ve got him sat on the edge of your bed as you scold him for his behaviour, Rhys waiting patiently as he watches you trying to ply the clips from your hair, your own patience wearing thin as frustration builds at their refusal to budge

“I mean really Rhys, I understand you’re no longer acting out a cruel persona, but a little tact, no? Just some discretion? Not cracking jokes left right and centre!”

You hiss as one of the clips snags on a strand of hair, cursing both him and the clip out under your breath

“Darling, will you please just allow me to—”

“Don’t you dare move, Rhysand.”

Colour warms the tan skin of his cheeks, eyes appreciatively running down the trail of your spine, heat gathering at the spankable curve of your hind. The tone you’d used…

“I know you think you’re charismatic and charming, but your arrogance is getting out of hand,” you continue, oblivious to the dark dip in his thoughts, “I suppose it’s inevitable when you have no one to keep you in check, but—”

“No one to keep me in check?”

You whirl on him, hair at last free and unbound, whipping over your shoulder as you turn to him

He’s undone the top most buttons of his shirt, leaned back on the bed, long legs parted—not at all ashamed of the reaction he’s having to the sharp, clipped tone you’d been using on him

“Rhysand!” You hiss, “I’m trying to…”

But he’s not hiding anything, arousal heating the glimmering bond that lies between you, skin tingling with awareness as warmth pools in your belly

“What was it you said again? That I have no one to keep me in check?” He muses, hand shifting over the muscle of his thigh to the obvious hardness between his legs. “No one to remind me of my place?”

“Rhysand,” you warn, “we have a dinner tonight, do not…” but you trail off when he palms himself through the fitted fabric of his trousers, a low groan coming from the back of his throat.

You pry your tongue from the roof of your mouth, delicately licking over dried lips, an action he marks eagerly. “I suppose you could serve being taught a lesson to two…”

Cassian:

“Cass, hurry up! We’re going to be late! Again!”

Really, you would have thought as a General he would have excellent time management skills and would never struggle with being late. And usually, that’s true. But something about going out to dinner to see his family just sends all of that training out the window

“Cassian?” You question, leaning over the banister to call up to your mate’s room. “Cassian, are you nearly ready?”

A series of knocks are landed to your front door, and you blanch, wondering if it’s another pair thinking of walking with you to the River House. But when you open it, you’re greeted with a proudly grinning Cassian, wings tucked in tight against the chill breeze

He must have flown out the window and round to the front again.

“Cassian!” You snap, “I was stressing! Why can’t you just please be on time and save me the anxiety?”

He opens his mouth, pride gleaming in his eyes at what he no doubt thinks is a clever trick, but the amusement has already seeped from your bones.

“For goodness sake,” you mutter, “you haven’t even—” You push up onto your tiptoes, leaning flush against him for support as you set straight a curled lock that was blown the wrong way, flopping to the wrong side of his head

You huff impatiently, settling back onto the flats of you feet, lightly smacking your hand over his chest as you reassess him. “Right. Good. Let’s go.”

“Sweetheart, don’t worry,” he tries, realising too late you’re genuinely bothered, agitation zinging down the bond. “They won’t even—”

“Cassian, I am not in the mood at the moment,” you snap sharply. “How many times have I told you. We need to be ready to leave half an hour before hand. You’re a General for crying out loud, put your knowledge to good use.”

You’ve never snapped like that before at him. He knows you get a little tightly wound when it comes to time management, but never anything like this. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten your gears turning like that. But your arms have crossed over your chest, drawing his attention to the dip in the neckline, a little further than usual. The strict set of your brows, and the disapproving cut of your mouth…

He zones back in when you click your fingers in his face, “are you even listening to me? For Mother’s sake Cassian, will you at least pay attention when I’m talking to you?”

“I’m paying attention,” he manages, caught off guard by the arousal that’s stirring in his stomach at the terseness of your question. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t. Now hurry up and let’s—”

“Don’t cut me off like that,” he breathes lowly, pupils dilated as he stares down at you. The rise and fall of your chest as you glare impatiently…holding your ground…

“Cassian!” You inhale sharply as his large palm snakes around your waist, pulling you into his heat, nosing at your neckline, his scent wrapping around you, and— “Cassian…” you whisper, back curving with arousal

“Where’d that attitude go?” He asks breathlessly. “Bring it back for me. Won’t you do that, sweetheart?”

“Cass…we’re going to be late…” you manage to get out, knocked off your feet by the abrupt display of hunger

“We won’t,” he murmurs, pressing hot kisses to your throat as he works his way down. “Besides, what were those thirty minutes originally put in place for?”

You flush at the reminder—at how frequently things like this would happen so you would both agree to prepare in advance in the case of certain appetites arising

“Though if you want to keep using that tone on me…” his hips roll against yours, pressing the hard outline of his cock into your tummy, groaning at how it feels. “I don’t think I’d mind…”

Azriel:

“Azriel.” You hiss, gripping his hand by the wrist, tight. “Don’t even think about it.”

The shadows scuttle away from beneath your skirts, while the others peer up at the painting Helion’s currently showing off.

“You can’t just put your hands on me whenever you feel mildly compromised,” you whisper sharply, hoping the others won’t notice how you’re lagging behind.

“He just invited you to his bed,” Azriel growls lowly, pupils contracted as he stares razors into the High Lord of Day’s turned back. “And you hardly mustered up a refusal.”

“I was being polite. And of course the offer wasn’t serious,” you hiss back. “Besides, he’s invited you to bed plenty of times, and you never see me getting all territorial about it.”

“I wish you would,” he breathes, voice roughening as he flicks his wrist out of your grasp in favour of gripping your hip lightly, pulling you a little closer. “At least then he’d get the idea.”

“He’s doing this because you’re making it so apparent we’re recently mated,” you snap, “obviously he’s going to enjoy at last being able to get a rise out of you.”

“I need him to know that you’re mine.”

Heat flutters between your legs, suddenly feeling breathless. Your tongue flicks out over dry lips, and that familiar warmth zips down the bond, still so new and sensitive to every change, keyed to one another.

“You keep that sort of nonsense in the bedroom, Azriel,” you manage to hiss to him. “I do not belong to you. I am your mate.”

You can feel even on your side how overpowering, how dominating those instincts are, made worse by the unwelcome and incessant advances from another male. Can feel how he’s straining under the urge to claim you in a very obvious way.

“You belong to me, as I belong to you,” he growls lowly, darkness thickening at his back as those great wings flare menacingly.

“If you belong to me then I command you to be quiet and behave,” you hiss, the crackling tension between you having you snap, frustration simmering beneath your skin as you’re forced to keep your hands off each other until this bothersome tour comes to an end.

It seems to be the last straw for Azriel, however.

He releases a snarl that sounds mixed with a groan, starving lust barreling down the bond as he’s no longer able to keep his side entirely concealed, large palm shackling your wrist as he drags you away from the others, too hungry to wait

The command had been his breaking point, arousal burning through his blood at the sharpness you’d used

He hopes you’ll use it on him again, even once the initial frenzy has at last faded…

Eris:

“Either make me cum, or I’ll find someone else who will,” you hiss, nails scraping over his scalp, gripping the silky locks in your fist

“I wouldn’t recommend that, fawn,” he murmurs beside your ear, pressing his body tight to yours, so you’re trapped between him and the wall as his thigh is pushed flush with your heat. “Besides, you’re already dripping all over me. You think you’ll be able to find anyone else who’ll give you the intensity of one I can?”

“I don’t care at this point,” you counter. “Either give it to me or I’ll have to use something else.”

The impatience catches him off guard. You’re usually so sweet and docile—he wonders where the spark has come from. It seems rather fun to tamper with

“Like your fingers? Your pillow?” He asks, voice deepening as he presses his hips to yours, grinding into the softness of your tummy as you try to rub over his thigh, to get some kind of pleasure. “I’d love to see you try,” he whispers breathlessly

“Fuck you,” you hiss, heat fluttering between your legs, mind turning dizzy with hunger as your arms wrap tight over his broad shoulders, leg weaving round his to try and get him closer—

“Quit it,” you snap, flame blazing in your eyes as your lip curls when he pulls his thigh back, leaving you without stimulation. “You’re being a fucking pain,” you hiss, tugging on his hair

His eyes flutter, hips bucking against you with hunger as he dips down, attacking your neck with kisses and nips, arousal having him firmly within its grasp at that demand

You moan at the sensations, back arching up into him as you feel the pronounced outline of him against you, twitching as he grinds against you

“Fuck, Eris…” you pant, so near the verge of pleasure.

“Get on the bed,” you whisper, hands shakily pushing him away, so he’s stood to his full height, looming over you

When he doesn’t move, you snarl, too impatient to wait for his games. “I said get on the bed.”

The intensity of his arousal hits you then, practically knocking you clean off your feet, both of you seemingly taken aback at just how heavily affected he is

“You like this?” You breathe, pulse spiking as you peer up into his eyes, irises almost fully eclipsed by hunger

He doesn’t need to answer as your hand slips between the two of you, cupping him, feeling just how hard he is, how hungry he is… You curse lowly

“Oh you’re going to pay for every damn teasing thing you’ve ever done to me,” you whisper over his mouth, pushing for him to walk back until his legs come into contact with the bed

“And you’re going to pay tenfold.”

Lucien:

“I just don’t get it, Lu,” you sigh frustratedly, pacing back and forth as he watches you from the plush armchair. “I’ve tried so many different things, she just seems to have it out for me.”

“Are you sure you’re not overthinking this?” He suggests wryly. “We both know you have a habit of assuming the worst when it comes to how other people perceive you.”

“I’m not overthinking this one,” you snap. “She blatantly cut me off and turned her back on me during tea the other day. I don’t know what it is other than she just dislikes me.”

“And wouldn’t it simply be the end of the world if one female didn’t absolutely adore you,” he drawls, stretching out in his seat, long legs crossing at the ankle

“Don’t take that tone with me,” you say sharply, spinning around to face him, glaring

Lucien stiffens under the fire in your gaze, the anger simmering away as you stare him down, surprised by how hot his skin feels beneath that look

“I know for a fact I haven’t done anything wrong this time—and I’m certain of that,” you huff, beginning to pace back and forth, allowing him a moment to grapple with the reaction searing through his body

“Why is she trying to bring me down? I don’t understand it. I’ve never done anything, said anything that could harm her standing in some way, so why is she trying to bring me down?”

He listens to the harsh puff of breath, the sharp sighs coming from your lips, the clean cut of your steps as you spin at the end of a pace—pulse increasing as he slips a long finger beneath his collar

“We females are already at a disadvantage,” you go on, brow tightening now with anger, “can’t she understand that? We should stick together to help one another, not step on each other to further ourselves. It’s so backward! Why are you fighting against me when the problem is with the males in charge? Do you see what I mean? Lu? Lu—”

A hot flush warms your cheeks, thoughts instantly fading from your mind, replaced by the view before you

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, attempting to readjust the tightness of the already close-fitting riding trousers he wears. “Continue,” he manages thickly, “I’m listening.”

But you’re done with the conversation already. Done the second you looked at him, the outline of his arousal for you so clear and prominent

“I’m glad you are, but I’m certainly not,” you murmur, already walking over to him, putting yourself into his lap, straddling his hips as you pull your skirts up, feeling that delicious press between your legs

“I think I’m in need of a distraction anyway.”

general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy

az taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch @nightcourt-daydreaming @assassinsblade @marvelouslovely-barnes @v3lv3tf0x @kalulakunundrum @vellichor01 @throneofsmut @vickykazuya

[blond3ang3l]

🌷♡₊˚geek lover! eren🦢・₊✧

———————————————————————

This is a remake of the already geek lover eren, but specifically a sfw version but I actually really love this story

———————————————————————

Eren is a geek lover. He absolutely is enamored with you. Watching your lips with every word you spoke. The way you got excited telling him about every single new detail of the things you got interested in. Eren worked hard as a famous rnb singer, long days in the studio trying to perfect his songs. Then having to perform when he literally had the WORST anxiety known to man. It always felt like someone needed him and was on his ass about something.

But he did it all for you. So you can have everything your heart desired. He left nothing behind when it came to you. You wanted to see a new sci fi movie? He already bought out the theater. There’s a new podcast you like? He’s downloaded all the episodes for you on both yours and his phone. Don’t even get started on books. On your first date you mentioned you like to read and study psychology in your free time. Once you moved in he had your very own book room built for you. Carefully picking out each book for you on his own. Your own desk and room for you todo your writings in. He even surprised you with a laptop and camera so you can start your own podcast! He just wanted to show you how much he loved and supported you.

For moment like this were he could come home and listen to you tell him. About the things you've watched in your huge list of video essays that you had in a playlist on YouTube. How you lit up telling him different facts from how the dating game killer had a coworker that also happened to be a serial killer and he didn't know to the conspiracy theory of the 27 club, no matter what you said it always made you so happy and seeing you all giddy and stimming while you talked to him made him so content with his life.

"I know cotards syndrome, Koro, Diogenes, fregoli, hypochondria, pica, capgras, boanthropy, apotenmophilia, kulver bulcy, ekbom, erotomania, Stendhal. Pics is like one of the more well known. You know that show my strange addiction that we watch together? Yeah so like those people who eat the random shit like the lady who ate rocks- omg that reminds me!"

Erens ass was not listening one bit. He was watching you, watching your body. You guys had been apart for a little over a month so could do a very short tour in another country and he was sick as fuck that he couldn't bring you.

Everyone knew it too. His attitude fucking sucked that trip. He was antsy, his anxiety was through the roof, he snapped at everyone, overall he fucking hated it. But now, sitting here with you he finally felt at peace.

You were sitting on his lap, yapping his ear off.His eyes couldn't help but wander to your legs which lead him to notice you were wearing his boxers. Your hands thick thighs were filling them out so well. His hands moved to grip them as he watched you talk. You’d kill him later for not listening but he just felt so much dread when he was away from you that he couldn’t help but just stare at you forever.

“Rennie, papa are you okay? You’re getting all red. Are you feeling sick baby?”

You were worried, he had a bad history of getting sick easily. With him coming back from another country he could have likely caught something. It would hurt your heart to know he wasn’t feeling well.

“I’m fine baby. Keep going. I wanna hear you talk.”

“Are you sure baby? We can go lay down if you’d like.”

It warmed his heart how much you cared for him. You made him the man he was. He used to be so closed off to anyone that wasn’t your friends mikasa and armin. You taught him how to deal with the grief of life and got him therapy to get through the rough days of his depression. He just loved you so much and truly couldn’t imagine being anywhere without you.

“I’m fine baby, just missed you so much..”

For my girlie @merakidoll

[ma1dita]

when the curtains close

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 5.3k

summary: (post-tlt) The one where you lose two people in the Labyrinth that day. All strings are cut. (Pollux, Annabeth, Percy, and Mr. D find out the biggest difference between you and Luke.) (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: yeah to me this fic sounds and feels like that tiktok of the girl humming to her microwave. split povs: pollux, annabeth, your depictions of the titular battle of the labyrinth at CHB, some blood/gore, death & grief. the usual. you forced me to by lizzy mcalpine. references to cat on a hot tin roof by tennessee williams if you squint

(posted 5/14/24)

—

The first time Pollux has a panic attack, time seems to stop and the world keeps moving on without him.

He’s reminded of a time when you rambled on about how anxiety takes possession of the senses like a moment frozen in a snapshot meant for you to identify. In the memory, you had your feet kicked up on the dash flipping through a DSM-5 while he and Castor took turns speeding up and down Farm Road (totally normal older sister behavior from you, and when a cop pulled you over, the three of you narrowly escaped a ticket by talking in riddles and godly smoke that smelled like grapes). Pollux still remembers the sound of laughter in the car blending like three different chords to an archaic melody (or squawking crows in the strawberry fields)— the bond between you three laid out before time knew limits and was always meant to be.

It’s still his favorite song. You’re their favorite (and only) sister, they love to joke. These are facts that will never change.

“You two have each other, and well, I’ve got this,” you had said, the Zippo flicking open and closed against your thumb in the blossoming darkness of the car. Pink and purple rays of waning light blanketed the old hatchback as it steadily made its way back towards Half-Blood Hill, comfortable silence shared in the way only siblings can stand to be quiet—when there are no words needed to get a point across. But you’ve always set yourself apart from the pack, not needing anyone like how they need each other.

Not since Luke left, at least. The growing distance between you three since your untimely resignation from camp was proof enough. Pollux’s eyes met Castor’s in the rearview mirror as they both noticed your sad smile. His brother’s voice broke through the silence then, having always been the one blunt enough to say what was on his mind, “You’ve got us too if you let us see you more often.” Your fidgeting stops.

“It’s not you two, it’s just hard to be back here sometimes. I see things for what they used to be instead of how they really are now. Now it’s just… it has to be all business.”

Pollux cracked a smile, “S’what you get for growing up. Soon we’ll just be annoying voices in your head like you are to us.” Shutting your textbook, you turned to look at them from the passenger seat, eyes that match theirs darting between their blond heads, “All of us have to grow up eventually. Except maybe you two— I prefer you in my nightmares like the kids from The Shining. Whenever you get sick of Dad, come see me. Gods know that camp deserves a break from the two of you too.” Your knuckles knocked against both of their heads affectionately as he put the car in park, “My built-in bodyguards, huh? Always looking out for me.”

All words and meaning escape Pollux now as he stands in the greenery of the North Woods with battle gear ill-fitted to his large frame. It’s the first siege he’s ever taken part in, the first time he’s had to use battle strategies outside of Capture the Flag and the first time he’s slashed his way through monsters and demigods with the intent to try and kill or be killed. Sword and Shield could have never prepared any of them for this—as his eyes meet Castor’s and then yours with all of you thinking the same thing, the three of you join the sea of iridescent orange through mind-numbing black moving like a sharp three-pronged sword.

This type of stuff isn’t typical for him, he thinks. He and Castor are used to being comedic relief— being the source of laughs and juice boxes for pesky little campers instead of facing the real world outside the boundaries of the Mist. Perhaps your father babied them to make up for the time he lost with you, but there’s a moment where he wonders how being kept soft will keep him alive in a world as harsh as this one.

Childlike innocence is ripped away from them in the bubble they’ve inhabited until this moment. Home is now a warzone and like lambs set up for slaughter, the twins both turn to look at you as a shuddering gasp leaves your mouth at the carnage in your surroundings, monster blood and fallen friends and enemies at your feet. Breaking away from formation to take a deep breath, he looks at the sky and wonders where your father is, but smoke and soot fill his lungs and he coughs desperately for a breath of fresh air.

Pollux thinks he must have stopped breathing before Castor took his last breath. It wasn’t supposed to be a competition, but sometimes life was just funny like that.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Just like you told him.

Castor was always the more manic one while Pollux knew how to endure. Children of Dionysus are forced to befriend insanity before it makes an enemy out of them—twisting the ugly into what’s real and creating something beautiful out of the deranged. You’ve shown the boys how you detach from emotion by recognizing the details—separating fact and fiction, a methodical process only describable by the blood that runs through your veins. Pollux doesn’t know where to start—everything happens so fast but it plays out in front of him like someone put the pieces together to a stop-motion animation.

He sees Castor’s sword fall to the ground when he gets slashed on the forearm and sees him get clubbed over the head with a metal weapon he’s only seen bad renditions forged for theater practices and hanging on the walls of the armory. Castor falls first to his knees, and then into the dirt with a thud. He never knew there could be that much blood coming out of a person, much less a mirror image of himself. Pollux sees your face come into his line of vision, deep maroon splatters on your face glittering with hints of ichor and then you’re moving because he can’t. The enemy is coming back for him now, and for a moment he wonders if Castor will be mad if he lets him. He sees you turn in an instant, swinging your sword down on the neck of the aggressor, a teenager not much older than he and his brother are—were. It’s funny how his brain immediately makes the switch to past tense, and how he can’t stop thinking about how he’ll now and forever be older than his twin. Pollux then sees you catch the body of the boy you just killed as life seeps out of him slower than it did for Castor.

It doesn’t make him feel any better, though.

His knees hit the ground next to his twin, touching the sludge of dirt soft like quicksand and moist with what he hopes is not blood, but Pollux is not quite sure of what else there is to hope for. His fist is wrapped around Castor’s shirtsleeve, touching faded orange and sweat as he holds on for dear life. Maybe if he tries hard enough his soul will still be intertwined with his. Your hand touches his shoulder, five fingers reaching out to brush the back of his neck and the feeling of your skin helps him refocus a bit, even if you’re saying something he can’t make out. Then the metal of your Zippo lighter feels cool to the touch within his palm and he knows what he needs to do.

The battle isn’t over, but for the three of you, everything stops here. There is no going forward without your brother. You were never meant to be children of war.

Pollux hears the sound of his heartbeat thundering through his ears, blood rushing through his veins and can’t help but notice the silence amid the chaos. There are no words fit for this—and even if there were, Castor and you were always the more talkative ones. He hears the spark of the purple flame between his fingers, blowing the smoke over him and his brother’s body, and their father’s powers blanket them like how you used to tuck them into bed, warm and safe. This is what your family is—unconventional and unending even in different realms of existence. And then Grover’s scream of panic echoes through the air and everyone hears that. Hysteria ensues as monsters and demigods alike run amok, and Pollux realizes he’s stopped shaking.

In his father’s domain, he will always find comfort.

You stand above him now directing campers calmly with a free hand—a brewing storm crackling underneath your skin that he now understands. Hidden by the illusion of smoke, Pollux’s tired bones rest alongside his brother’s dead ones— together as they always were meant to be.

The three of you together, his little family—that is a fact he hoped would never change.

The smell of grapes envelops him as he leans his forehead against your muddy leg… when did the battle end? It almost masks the scent of death that rips through the air as your hand brushes through his sandy hair. Pollux stinks of sweat and you stifle a laugh as you see him smell his armpit. You three were always the same type of fucked up. He doesn’t look down at Castor laid across his lap but knows he would’ve found it funny too. Ignorance of reality even for a moment serves as a comfort. Purple meets purple as he looks up at you with a smile that doesn’t fit his face anymore and he croaks, “Wonder what dad would say about our first battle…”

Glory was never meant to be this bittersweet—it tastes like blood in his mouth until he wipes it away from his cheek and realizes it’s Castor’s. In a way, it’s his too, everything about him and within him is exactly the same down to the star stuff the fates wove them from.

“I’ll be the one to tell him. You take care of Castor,” you answer, as if there’s anything else he would want to do and then he realizes you’re crying— and he’s seeing all of the pieces put together in front of him in this photograph in his mind.

Pollux blinks slowly.

Suddenly the image he has of you is more defined— there is new meaning to the sadness you could never shake off all these years, and he is too young to lose his greatest love, which makes him realize then that so were you.

How long does this have to go on? he wonders, grabbing onto your hand with an eagerness only comparable to the feeling he got when you and Luke whisked him and Castor away from Florida all those years ago. This punishment of living while half of his soul does not—what is he supposed to do next? This was supposed to be the safe place. There is nowhere left to run. His thumb rubs circles into the back of your shaking blood-soaked hand, a secret within the smoke.

Pollux thinks there will always be a part of him frozen in time now, a memory of this day hung up in his mind like a portrait as he holds Castor’s cold hand in his warm one.

—

Annabeth finds you in the middle of the strawberry fields before the sun sets. She knows you won’t be sleeping tonight, not if you can fight it— not when there’s so much to do. You’ve long grown out of your ripped-up and tie-dyed camp shirts, and the one slung on your frame is newly pressed and starchy from the storage room of the Big House, still stiff against your freshly washed skin. When she’s close enough to touch you, you’ve been scrubbed clean of today.

She doesn’t have to be a daughter of Athena to know that you know that she’s there even if you can’t see her, but for once she feels like she has to hide. For once, Annabeth Chase doesn’t know what to say. How can she explain the feeling of guilt that coils around her brain like barbed wire—how can she even begin to apologize for the thing wearing her brother’s skin, knowing that it killed yours? For once, her hubris is crushed by the sinking feeling of humiliation.

“Was your first quest all you thought it would be, Annie?”

As she takes her navy cap off, silver braided strands around her face wave in the wind as a reminder of what Luke put her through. Though as she looks at you now with your berry-stained fingers plucking at stems one by one instead of using your powers, she thinks that your mind is elsewhere—anywhere but here, where everything is a painful reminder of your five years as a camper.

Five years with Luke.

Mourning him isn’t a new feeling for either of you, even though he comes in and out of your lives like a poltergeist you want to bash across the head, just always out of reach. But he’s a constant, even when he’s not here and he’s what binds you two together as you huddle hidden away from the rest of camp.

“He did this for you.”

It’s not a question, more so a fact out of Annie’s mouth when you finally meet her eyes and sigh, “Luke’s always had a way going about things. The most stubborn man to ever live.” You toss another strawberry into the crate at your feet. No one’s working right now, trying to tend to the injured and the dead. Everyone’s doing their best to chase away the nightmares that are bound to come, and she knows you’ll be making rounds with her on the night shift to ease everyone’s anxieties. But there’s a thought so strong it makes her head hurt, bursting at the seams until she can’t stop with her last-ditch effort to fix her found family.

“Maybe if we find him, we can save—”

“He’s been out of time for a while now, Annabeth. We both knew that,” you say, voice firm and unwavering. You’ve never sounded so monotone before, and it hits her as her mouth falls agape, “You’re giving up on him? Why… why would you give up on him?” Anger courses through her veins like fire and she’s mad that she’s at the center of this prophecy, of Hermes’s anger for his doomed son who will love you until the ends of the earth.

And what of her?

What of the hope she has in happy endings, how is it that you’re so damn calm? Annabeth kicks at the crate, strawberries rolling out in different directions and your jaw tightens as you let her be petulant, let her scream and yell until her inner child can catch up with the reality of the world around you.

“How could you?”

Your name echoes as she repeats it, grabbing at your shoulders and she’s as desperate as the truth that shakes her when you cup her face in your hands and wipe her tears.

“You’ve carried the weight of the world Annabeth– you know what it feels like to let it go. It’s time to let him go. There’s nothing I can do or say to fix this.”

Then it hits her that you knew of his fate and yet this was still the outcome. There was nothing else to do but watch him be puppeteered by a Titan and have to fight evil while it wears his face.

“He came to you after he saw me, didn’t he? Why didn’t you tell me? Why don’t you love him anymore?”

Because it wouldn’t have changed a thing, your eyes say. Instead, you grimace as you say, “Wouldn’t that be funny if it were true?” You lean down and pick up the fallen berries, some bruised and covered in dirt, and then you look at her again with teary eyes.

“Some prophecy huh? To lose a love to worse than death. What could we have done besides love him until the end?”

“He’s still in there. I know you know that too. Don’t talk about him like he’s not,” Annabeth insists, and a sad smile settles upon your face. It’s as gentle as the kiss of the breeze on your cheeks.

“I lost a brother today, Annie.”

“Me too.”

—

The funny thing about planning funerals is that with all the fuss it takes to organize one, you still find extra time on your hands. Barely getting any sleep and dragging yourself out of your dad’s bed, Pollux snores loudly next to you after hours of working on Castor’s shroud. Sleep wasn’t expected for either of you, but being unconscious was the only way of giving your brains a reprieve. The both of you have been busy doubling down on the preparations, even if it means Mr. D won’t be back in time while he’s out rallying gods for war.

The faster Castor’s earthly body is reconnected with his soul, the easier his trip will be into the Underworld, Nico says, and it’s funny how comforting the little emo pipsqueak can be when it comes to matters of death.

Perhaps this is the solace you bring to others with things you’re able to control—keeping camp afloat is something you were always good at, and helping every traumatized child that comes up to you for a juice box or a lullaby eases the guilt that follows you. Walking around Camp Half-Blood for more than a weekend made you feel like a judge, jury, and executioner. Though most of the campers from almost five years ago have either aged out, defected, or died—the ones that remain still look at you like you’re trouble.

Perhaps you always will be.

You even found yourself with the time to pray to Hermes last night for your brother’s safe passage into the afterlife, though if he’s angry at Annabeth, he must hate you for letting Luke go. Dinner didn’t seem appetizing enough anyway, so your whole plate was tossed into the hearth. You hope he likes chicken and rice.

But if a god can’t fight fate, what did he expect you to do?

The Iris Message to your dad last night was difficult, to say the least. Pollux’s hands shook as he continued to paint grape vines onto the silk cloth and the both of you didn’t say anything when your father started to cry. He out of all of the gods knows what it’s like to be tested to the limits—to endure pain and it’s a gift you and your brother are grateful for in times like these. Watching the god display the human emotion that either of you couldn’t as freely made it more real though.

There was also the interesting predicament of Chris Rodriguez being locked up in the basement of the Big House. Replacing screaming fits with serenity was almost second nature, and your gentle hands were what got Clarisse to truly respect you again for the first time in years. You could hear her sneak downstairs and talk to him while he slept (and the look in her eyes when you’d greet her with a cup of coffee made it known to you that she finally understands what it means to love someone who’s lost—two demigod daughters filled with a lot of rage and hurt were more alike than they think).

So the morning of your little brother’s funeral, you found yourself on the shoreline of Canoe Lake, setting your Redbull against the post of the dock and looking out onto the water.

You needed to do something with your hands. In the past few days, if your fingers were not occupied by pen and paper, a guitar, supply crates, or anything else that was helpful to others and all the more distracting for you, it’s been so easy to pick at any little thing. Perhaps it was your subconscious trying to reflect the damage on the inside, but today, your nail polish was chipped beyond belief. A small price to pay to not lose it without a signature boyish smile to ease your worries and amber eyes that could help you escape from the routine.

Running camp was always easier back then with your runaway boy and his scarred cheek.

How pathetic.

Crouched over in the sand, you plucked stones and filled your pockets with them. They knocked against each other — weighing your pockets down as you walked closer to the dock. Swinging your feet off the side and chucking them into the water, you could barely achieve a ripple.

It’s so quiet that you end up wondering if the rocks in your pockets would weigh you down to the bottom of the lake. It must be nice down there, to exist away from everything.

Bubbles surface slowly in front of you, then Percy’s head bobs in the water as he squints at you through sunlight.

“You chucked a rock at my head!”

A smile tugs at your lips, almost indiscernible but definitely there, “I was trying to skip them. Didn’t know you were doing water tricks in there, kid.” His grin gleams like freshwater pearls, pulling himself up onto the dock as his hand clasps yours. Shaking his sopping hair, Percy’s gangly frame sits next to yours like a wet bag of sand—all wrinkly and misshapen and sprinkling you with lakewater.

“Maybe next time don’t pick rocks the size of your fist. How many have you got in there? Your aim is scarily accurate,” he laughs and you huff and shake your head when his hand sticks into your pocket and takes out a few smooth ones to roll around in his hand. You mirror him, watching him skip a few stones into the water that reach a good distance before sinking into the depths of the lake.

There’s something sad about feeling comfortable to trauma dump on the teenage son of Poseidon, but with the way he grabs your arm at your third unsuccessful toss of a rock, you can’t do anything else but sigh.

“Why didn’t any of you call me, Percy?”

He was waiting for this question—it’s been banging around in his head since the beginning of Annabeth’s quest, and perhaps her talk with you yesterday didn’t go as expected so once again he’s left with the difficult part.

Things happen to turn out pretty difficult for him a lot, he's noticed.

Many things could have been made easier in the past few weeks: Ariadne being your stepmother and her blessing to you would’ve made the Labyrinth easier to navigate, and having another demigod to fight alongside him instead of a mortal girl would’ve been a plus too. But he looks at you with ocean eyes and a smaller smile that reminds you of how he looked at you when you dropped him off in Montauk the summer you met him and quit your head counselor job.

“You’ve already made a lot of difficult decisions. We weren’t sure if…”

The rotten wood beneath you creaks under your shifting weight as you turn to him, tucking your legs underneath your bottom.

“Didn’t think I could handle it?”

He shakes his head, “The opposite, actually. Annabeth has this notion that you’re the only one that can save him. You know, back on my first quest I met Luke’s dad and he told me something…”

You swallow instead of answering. There’s no way Percy is giving you Hermes’s advice right now. Somehow this feels like karmic retribution after years of spiting that asshole, and what he tells you next is more of a sign that it must be true.

“He said, ‘Do you know what that feels like? To be so close to someone you love knowing neither of you has any choice but to keep hurting each other?’ I didn’t get it then, but I do now.”

“With Luke and his mom?” you ask, picking at the remaining slivers of varnish on your thumbnail.

“With you and Luke. I didn’t call you, because… why would I want to see you hurt after everything?” Percy says this like it’s something he would do for everyone.

Perhaps it is, but the knot that forms in your throat feels as heavy as the boulder you almost sunk into his skull. He’s tall enough to lean your head against now, and you don’t mind the water spots that will form along the side of your funeral outfit. The shape of him it leaves will remind you of the little brother you gained through so much loss.

“Plus he has a new girlfriend. Absolute horse of a girl,” he jokes. It slips over your head but you still giggle, “I could’ve taken her.”

“I know, that was Grover’s worry. You’re prettier anyway…” Percy pauses, and then clears his throat, “You’ve always taken care of this place, y’know? Even after….I just think someone ought to take care of you.”

Your shoulder bumps against his as you finally skip a rock. It only bounces across the water twice and you think Percy might have had something to do with it, but you’re not bothered by the help this time around.

—

You wake up in the dark of night to see your dad looming in the doorway to his office. With drool and a post-it stuck to your cheek, he comes over to ruffle your hair in amicable silence.

“Hard at work or hardly working?” he chuckles, leaning over your shoulder to scan over the paperwork sorted into piles for him to sign from his absence.

“Hm. You wish,” you scoff, leaning against your arm as you look at him. He’s not in his usual eyesore of attire, wearing a clean-pressed suit with his hair slightly slicked back.

“You look good. The meeting went okay?”

“Grover will be fine. The Council of Cloven Elders? Not so much. Neither are the gods ready to take sides. Putting out little fires everywhere as we speak.”

The wheels of the office chair roll as you swing your feet, and if you both listen closely enough you can hear Pollux snoring upstairs. Chiron loved the earplugs you gave him.

Your father’s face smooths out a bit at the sight of you and the sound of his son’s breathing upstairs and he asks, “Are you? Good?”

A shrug slides off your shoulders, “How does one be good in a world like this one?”

A startling scream echoes off the walls of the Big House, rattling the floorboards from below as your father grimaces.

The work is never done for you two.

“Don’t look at me like that. It was worse when he first came here.”

“Don’t doubt it,” he mumbles, brushing lint off your shirt before he notices you’re donning neon orange. “Didn’t do laundry, princess?”

“Pollux and I haven’t gone back to our cabin since... I can wake him up if you—”

Mr. D shakes his head and goes to toss his body onto the couch against the window, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Dad? Do you think Chris is a bad person?”

A beat passes and you think he may have fallen asleep, but then his voice sounds like gravel scraping up his throat.

“I don’t think anyone can be bad, kid. I think it is more often that people get lost. What Rodriguez needs is someone to take hold of him gently, and hand his life back to him—you…Clarisse… that’s what we’re giving him.”

Now you’re silent, staring at the dust on his name placard at the edge of the desk.

“Do you think otherwise?”

He calls your name again, and you look up like you’re about to lie to him but don’t have the energy to.

“Princess, do you think you’re a bad person?”

He stands up and walks around to your side of the desk, sitting on the edge so you have to look at him.

“I killed someone. During the battle. Didn’t even think twice about it, slashed his neck as soon as Castor went down and…” you sniff. “I kill monsters, Dad, not children. How does that make me any different?”

The last time blood was on your hands like this it was Luke’s in the Garden of Hesperides. All these years later you ended up being right— the only person you vowed to get bloody for is Luke Castellan, and now in a twisted turn of fate, you’ve bloodied your hands because of him.

“Because you did it for your brother. There are no other explanations needed.”

He sees the exhaustion in your eyes, the drop in your shoulders, but your dad also sees the strength in your bones that spans generations and he knows you and Pollux are strong because you are both his.

“Humans believe in life everlasting—glory, as some call it, but they’re too focused on achieving it on earth instead of enjoying what life has to offer,” he scoffs, “Everyone has the guts to die, but no one has the guts to truly live. How sad.”

“His name was Rowan. Son of Hecate. I taught him how to whistle the summer I left. This is all my fault, Dad,” you say shakily as he comes near and pulls you into his side. He shushes you but you relent.

“Luke’s killing all these people to fulfill a promise he made for me. I’m just fucking disgusted with myself for being the cause of it all. What good life can I deserve when wherever I go I leave a trail of blood?”

Love and addiction must be so alike; to know that to be sober you can’t indulge in the vice ever again—not only does it hurt you, but others around you. But through the years you’ve always kept the taste of his name in your mouth, the feeling of his skin under your fingertips, and the knowledge of why he’s destroying the world so he can make you a better one. Insanity stems from fighting for so long that you embrace the pain; feeling something so intensely that when it consumes you you’re able to walk out the other side and wear it as armor.

Not everyone is hardwired to persevere.

There are moments like a night like these where it would be easy to give up. Instead, you pour two glasses of whiskey you’ve conjured and hand one to your dad. You both sip on your drinks slowly, embracing the crawling feeling of the burn.

“Liquor is one way out and death is another,” your dad sighs blissfully. He almost looks rejuvenated by the alcohol he knows he’ll hear about from Zeus later, but perhaps the death of his son is a good enough pardon.

“For some of us, we don’t have to think about the answer.”

Mr. D grabs a pen off the desk and starts signing papers to do something with his hands, and then you speak again, “I think I’d rather die for people I love,” and your dad’s attention whips to your blank face staring at the moon outside the window. “Instead of killing for them. I’ve never been a good soldier, Dad.”

Mr. D looks at you thoughtfully and wonders where all the time has gone that you sit there in front of him with more knowledge than him at your mortal age before saying, “You’re my daughter. You’re a fighter. Death is for chumps anyway.”

He lifts you by the arm to try to usher you up the stairs but you stay in his office chair swatting his hands away.

“Got work to do, you and I. Not getting rid of me until it’s done.”

“When are you going home?” he asks, pulling up a chair next to yours.

“I am home.”

You don’t look up from the papers you were filing, stubbornness leaking through your voice.

“If there is a war coming, I want to be home as much as I can. I’m finishing my last semester and I’ll be here before and after classes. You can’t stop me, dad.”

And he knows that too.

There is no such thing as leaving Camp Half-Blood for you.

Never for too long. Your love for it is scattered everywhere campers can see.

—

In all these years, you never believed I loved you. And I did. I did so much. I did love you. I even loved your hate and your hardness. - Tennessee Williams