#it's probably like essence of unicorn or something
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andy-clutterbuck · 10 months ago
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i can’t believe daddy andy just keeps getting sexier as he gets older, actually i CAN believe it tho bc it’s andy, ofc he can! seeing him age beautifully and get even more handsome as the years go by is so amazing, i love him so much i hope you never stop making gifs of him fren 🫶
There's something in his water out there in the English countryside, indeed. Wine's got nothing on him.
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youremyheaven · 8 months ago
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Love your recent Rahu & Ketu post. I have a lot of Rahu dominant placements (ardra moon, shatabhisha rising, swati venus etc) in my chart and have experienced a lot of abuse & depression growing up. I had no idea these placements had this effect on my life…. Nevertheless I am still here and alive and moving forward! I do want to know if you could be of any assistance of remedies for these kind placements in one’s chart?
chanting the beej mantras of the deities of your nakshatras help. meditation helps the most because it helps you become more self aware and when you're aware of your inclinations and tendencies, you can control them better? we experience life based on what our thoughts are ("what we think, we become"-buddha) your birth chart provides a framework for what kind of thoughts/patterns/tendencies you are most inclined to but with meditation you can transcend your nature and choose to act consciously and not be driven by your inner "wiring"
i always say meditation is the answer to everything because it is but not everyone can do it or remain disciplined in practice of it. its also not something that provides instant gratification. spiritual truths are gatekept by their nature of being vague and hard to access, only people who have reached a certain level of understanding can proceed to immerse themselves in it but even then its not like you start meditating and turn into some magical unicorn who never suffers, you are initiated into a new path or way of being, you identify with yourself "less" as you see the "self" as an accumulation of things and not as something inherently tied to the essence of your being.
all of this probably sounds like hogwash but the remedy to anything and everything is to commit and stay disciplined to a spiritual practice. it can even be something tied to your religion. but if you're not religious, you can look at other methods (there are numerous like yoga, meditation, even meditation comes in many different forms, chanting, qigong etc)
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e-dubbc11 · 2 years ago
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Crazy in Love
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Some swear words, mentions of verbal abuse, fluffy bunnies and unicorns, and some physical violence
Word Count: 5.8k-ish
Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day and Billy has already spoiled you rotten and made plans to take you out for a nice dinner. But a run in with an ex boyfriend stirs up some old painful memories and lands Billy in a little bit of trouble.
A/N: This is part of the February writing challenge that my lovelies over on the Thirsty for Cox server decided to do. The prompt was “Well…I did not picture spending my Valentine’s Day in jail.” I had a lot of fun writing this, it seemed like a good one. I did write a part 2 for this which hopefully will be out tomorrow, February 16. Oh, yes the title is a Beyoncé song but I used the Sofia Karlberg version for this.
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The essence of rose saturated the apartment, the bouquets were everywhere, red ones, pink ones, yellow ones, white ones, and even purple ones.
He had told you the purple ones meant “love at first sight,” Billy Russo was such a smooth talker, the velvet tone to his voice was soft yet assertive and gave you butterflies every time. “That’s how I felt when I first saw you. At least, I think it was. I never had those feelings before…about anyone.” He had said. It was love at first sight for you too when you met him a few years ago, right around Valentine’s Day.
***************
After finally getting the call that you landed the job, your friends decided they wanted to take you out to celebrate. Dinner first, then they took you for a few drinks at a local bar close to the restaurant which is where he first laid eyes on you.
Coming in from the cold, he saw that your cheeks were flushed and your nose was red like it had been pinched by Jack Frost but your smile lit up the entire room. Billy couldn’t take his eyes off of you, he studied you carefully but quickly turned away when you would look in his direction.
You swore you could feel someone staring at you but a quick glance around the bar made you think maybe you were wrong, there wasn’t anyone looking at you…or so you thought.
You noticed him too, the charcoal gray suit, burgundy tie, but his eyes are what pulled you towards him like a magnet. They looked like endless pools of black ink. A pair of eyes you could get lost in.
And his smile, you don’t think you’ve ever seen a more perfect smile to go along with his handsome face. He was probably the most handsome man you had ever seen but completely out of your league…again, so you thought.
Just like he studied your movements, you studied his. The way his long willowy fingers wrapped around the beer bottle he was drinking from, the way he narrowed his eyes slightly as he listened intently to his friends telling a story, or when you would catch a phrase or two escape his lips. A hint of a New York accent combined with the sarcastic comments, he was a man after your own heart. It was…love at first sight.
As much as he was trying to pay attention to his friends, Billy was trying to listen in on your conversations. Mostly, he was listening to your laugh, it made him smile, watching the way you would throw your head back in a fit of laughter and not hold back.
Your whole body smiled when you laughed and he loved nothing more than to watch you wipe the tears out of your eyes when something made you laugh extra hard. Love at first sight indeed.
In between stories from his friends, he observed one of your friends had given you a small heart shaped lollipop. A “small congratulatory gift for getting that new job you wanted so much” he heard your friend say. After thanking her, you placed the lollipop in the back pocket of your jeans and forgot about it. That’s when Billy made his move.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him get up from his table and start to walk towards the bar to retrieve another drink, he thought you were even more beautiful up close. While you were talking, he had positioned himself in between you and another person at the bar, your body pulled forward slightly away from the back of the chair while talking to your friend.
You knew he was there, your cheeks suddenly felt warm and a knot had formed in your stomach. He let out a long exhale after taking the last sip of his beer, his breath traveled down the back of your neck and goosebumps erupted all over your body.
That’s when you felt it. The lollipop that you had forgotten about was being pulled from your pocket, slowly, carefully making sure he didn’t touch anything except that lollipop. With your eyes closed, you took a deep breath and turned around in your chair. The wrapper was discarded on the bar, you turned around just in time to see him place the lollipop in his mouth, and extend his hand to introduce himself.
“Billy Russo.” The tone of his voice was warm and low but full of confidence.
You swallowed hard and felt a slight tingle in your core. Just his voice alone did that to you, it sent shivers down your spine and caused your hands to shake slightly. But somehow you managed to just give him a sly smile, not letting him know you were nervous, and extend your hand to shake his.
“Y/f/n Y/l/n.” You said to him. “And that was my lollipop.”
He cracked a smile and the ice was broken.
The two of you spent the rest of the night making each other laugh, trading sarcastic remarks, staring into each other’s eyes, and Billy making any man that even looked in your direction wish they hadn’t.
You hadn’t even been out on a date with Billy Russo yet before he showed you how jealous he could get, how protective he could be, more like overprotective. It was a desire he had, to show every man close by that you were spoken for, that you were his, and to show they dare not touch what was his.
Billy told you he didn’t really “do” dancing but a slow song came on the jukebox, Crazy in Love by Sofia Karlberg, and you just needed to have his hands on you, holding onto you. Billy held you close, his hand encased over yours against his chest, while his friends and your friends had conversations all around you. Instead of his long, slender fingers being wrapped around a beer bottle, they were tightly wrapped around you and he didn’t want to let you go…ever.
'Cause I know I don't understand. Just how your love can do what no one else can. Got me lookin' so crazy right now. Your touch's got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your kiss's got me hoping you save me right now. Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin'. Got me lookin' so crazy in love
You didn’t want to let him go either but when you finally did, he didn’t waste any time asking to take you out on a proper date. The following weekend happened to be Valentine’s Day but you said no to a date ON Valentine’s Day.
There was just too much pressure for THAT day so you put it off for a week, instead opting for a coffee date before the formal one. You never looked back after that, and although it had been tough going sometimes, Billy Russo was the man for you.
***************
Billy always tried to outdo himself every year for Valentine’s Day or any special occasion, really. That was why you were sitting in the middle of your shared apartment, surrounded by bouquets of beautiful roses.
You had stopped counting them after the flower delivery service brought in the tenth bouquet, it was a bit excessive but it brought a smile to your face anyway. “He really knows how to make me feel special.” You said to yourself as you picked up your phone to call him at work.
He picked up on the first ring, Billy Russo was not a patient man. “Hey there, sweet girl.”
A smile tugged at your lips at hearing his pet name for you. “Billy, they’re SO beautiful!” You exclaimed as you bit down on your bottom lip.
“I’m glad you like them, my love.” He said.
“Like them? Billy, I love them! Thank you.” You excitedly said into the phone.
Billy chuckled a little. “Well I’m just getting started, baby. You don’t think the flowers are your only present, do you?”
You looked around the apartment at all of the bouquets of roses, all of these must have cost him a small fortune. “Oh…Billy, no that’s too much. The flowers are plenty.”
“I’ll be home around 6 to pick you up for dinner, ok?” He said, completely ignoring the fact that you said you didn’t need another gift.
Billy didn’t say where he was taking you, only telling you that it was “nice.”
“Ok, handsome. I’ll see you at 6—I love you.” You said with a smile.
You could tell he was smiling on the other end. “I love you too, beautiful.” And he hung up.
Making sure you were home in plenty of time to get ready for your evening out, you had left work early and arrived home just in time for your flower delivery. Billy knew exactly what time you would be coming home, he planned this like he planned everything else.
You knew he would probably come home bearing more gifts, even though you told him it wasn’t necessary. Billy didn’t really show his softer side to many people, to everyone else he was a marine, a scout sniper, a CEO…a leader. But to you, he was sweet and charming, a doting and loving boyfriend who would do absolutely anything for you.
Always in charge, he made sure he never showed weakness, appeared defenseless or powerless. It was a strange feeling for him, that feeling of love when it’s something that he’s never experienced. “Am I doing this right?” He would ask himself. “Can she tell that I’ve never done this before?” And “I’m just protecting her.”
The urge to keep you close to him at all times was intense, it was borderline too much but he loved you and even though he couldn’t always say how he was feeling, he tried to show it. You were his weakness.
Billy could stay calm in almost any situation, he never cracked under pressure except when it came to you, he felt like it was his duty to protect and defend you anytime the universe told him he had to. Tonight would end up being one of those times.
First came the flowers, then the balloons that spelled out “I Love You” were delivered, followed by the chocolate covered strawberries. They came with a note from Billy “Enjoy them, beautiful. But don’t spoil your dinner. Love, Billy.” You could only shake your head and smile reading the note, it all felt like a fairy tale.
***************
He always made you feel so loved, although at times you had to remind him he didn’t have to try so hard. It didn’t always have to be about gifts and fancy restaurants, sometimes coffee and a doughnut says “I love you” just as much as a designer bag or a new necklace does.
The gifts were especially extravagant after a fight or one of his fits of jealousy. Billy didn’t really know how to just say “I’m sorry,” or how to admit he was jealous, possessive at times, or overprotective.
He would just shut down and leave, only to return later with a little blue box or flowers. When you would tell him you didn’t want them, he would get angry. He didn’t know what to do so it just made him frustrated with himself.
“I don’t know what you want from me, y/n!!” He had shouted.
All you had wanted was an apology, to have his arms draped around you and to say “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry.”
“I want you to tell me that you’re sorry, Billy! Gifts can’t tell me that you’re sorry, YOU need to tell me that! You can’t just fly off the handle every time a guy looks at me in a way you don’t like!” You told him.
His dark chocolate like eyes quickly changed from angry to sad, he didn’t know what to say, it was just so hard for him because he’s always kept everything buried deep down inside, hidden away from everyone, hidden from the world. No one had ever taught him how to love.
“It’s hard for me y/n. Do you understand how hard this is for me?! I don’t know how to do this!” With his head buried in his hands, he paused, the look of guilt had washed over him and it made your heart hurt to watch the agony he must be in because he couldn’t say exactly what he wanted to.
The silence was excruciating but he finally pulled you in close, his body felt warm, and your shoulders relaxed as he brushed his hands up and down your back, whispering over and over again “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.”
These were the times Billy needed reassurance. He needed to be told you loved him and “I’m still here, Billy. I’m not going anywhere.” But you urged him to try to communicate with his words how he was feeling, no matter how difficult it was.
“I really need you to try, Billy. Please? Can you do that for me?” You pleaded.
He brushed his knuckles over your cheek and leaned forward to kiss you. The energy behind the kiss was passionate and full of love, he loved you with everything he had, and he truly was sorry. He would try harder.
That was then, but it was getting easier for him now, especially with your help. He felt like he could do anything as long as he had you by his side, helping him to learn about what it all means, about what had eluded him for all these years…love.
***************
Always on time, Billy arrived home promptly at 6, threw his keys on the table and called out for you.
“Baby? Where are ya? Are ya ready for din—ho-ly shit.” Billy started to say as you walked out from the bedroom in your black cocktail dress. The deep V and puffed sleeves were sexy without being too much.
It was difficult to surprise him but you had managed to sneak the dress home without him seeing it before tonight.
A slight smile stretched across your face as Billy continued to stare at you, his jaw practically on the floor as you said “Welcome home, my love. What’s wrong? Is there something on my dress?” You gave him a slow turn all the way around so he could take in ALL of you, biting down on your lower lip as you teased him. You knew exactly what you were doing.
As you finished turning around, Billy was right there, his hands swiftly cupped your face and he brushed a stray hair away from your eyes. “You look—so beautiful. Maybe I should just have you for dinner.” He started to kiss up and down your neck. It turned you on.
As much as you wanted that, you said “Come on, Mr. Russo. You promised me a nice dinner, so let’s go. You can enjoy your dessert later.” You smacked him on his ass, gave him a wink, and grabbed your clutch and your coat.
Billy couldn’t keep his hands off of you, from the elevator ride down to the lobby, in the car on your way to the restaurant, and even at the bar while you waited for your table.
And now that the date was finally here, he mentioned that it took him a couple of months to get a reservation there. It was a beautiful Italian restaurant called Scarpetta on Madison Avenue.
“You didn’t have to do this, Billy. I would have been happy if you brought home Chinese food.” You said.
He kissed you on the forehead. “It’s a special night, baby. I wanted to take you some place really nice.”
A flash of heat burned through you as he smiled a slightly wicked smile at you. You weren’t sure you deserved to be spoiled like this but you let him because Billy always did what he wanted to anyway.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, princess?” He asked.
You continued to blush as the hostess led you to your corner table. “Not in the last ten minutes, baby.”
You continued walking towards your table, and even in the low warm glow of the restaurant lights, you recognized him as you sat down. The smile faded from your face and without warning, you felt a tightness in your shoulders.
Your ex—Eric was seated at a table not too far from yours. He looked the same, the woman he was with was wearing a ring, and he was too. He was married. Better her than you, that’s for sure.
Billy could tell something was bothering you. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked.
“Hmmm? Oh nothing. Everything’s fine, Billy.” You lied, glancing down at the menu in front of you.
He knew you were lying, he tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at you. “Y/n, come on, what is it? What’s wrong?”
You came clean. “Ok, you see that guy across from us? Sitting with the blonde.” You turned away as Billy turned and glanced towards Eric’s table.
He rotated back towards you. “The guy with the big ears? Yeah, what about him?”
You let out a slight cackle and gently elbowed him in the ribs. “Y-yes, the guy with the big ears. Stop making me laugh like that, this is a nice place. Anyway, that’s my ex.”
You shuddered slightly, as Billy took your hand in his. “His back is towards us, my love. It’s ok, I’m here.” He had a worried look in his eyes when he noticed how nervous you were. “My god, what did he do to you?” Billy gnashed his teeth and his eyes glazed over darker than they were before glaring in the direction of Eric’s table.
You took your hand back, placed them both on Billy’s face, and brushed his beard with your thumbs. You knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with an answer of “I don’t wanna talk about it.” So you gave him an answer that was the truth but generic.
“Billy…” You paused, closed your eyes briefly and let out a long exhale. “Let’s just say he didn’t treat me very well and was—“ You were scared to say the next part out loud in fear of what Billy might do. “He was very—verbally abusive, degrading, and made me feel terrible about myself. And he…he scared me sometimes.”
Billy tightly gripped the cloth napkin in his hand, the whites on his knuckles noticeable as you looked down at his shaking hands. White, hot anger displayed all over his face, as you tried to calm him down.
“Hey, hey Billy look at me please. I don’t want to do this here, ok? I want to have a nice romantic dinner with you and then go home so you can rip this dress off and kiss every inch of my body, ok?” You had a feeling that might calm him down.
Billy let go of the napkin, his expression softened and he chuckled a little. He pulled you closer so your thigh was touching his, Billy always felt better when his body was touching yours in some way.
Without another word about it, Billy leaned closer to kiss you, forced the server to wait while he did then ordered you both a glass of red wine and the creamy polenta to start with.
Dinner conversation was a combination of funny and extra funny. Billy told you some old stories of his days in the marines, stuff that he and Frank would get up to on down time. They sounded like quite the duo and it was so nice to see Billy laugh reminiscing about the fun times he had in the marines and not worrying about your ex who was only a couple tables away.
You both traded work stories, laughed with each other like you were the only two people in that restaurant, he just couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and the two of you were having a really nice time. At one point during one of Billy’s stories, you let out a laugh that caught the attention of your ex.
His ears perked up like he recognized your laugh, Eric’s head swiveled in the direction of where your laugh came from and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed he was getting up and walking towards your table.
Oh shit.
Billy could see that your expression had hardened, your whole body had tensed, and you had his hand under the table in a death grip. The very sight of Eric so close to you made you feel like retching and wanting to punch him right in the face. Billy was trying to calm you down as he whispered in your ear “I’m right here, baby.” And he tenderly kissed your temple.
Eric stopped in front of your table, you and Billy were staring up at him with slight disdain written all over your faces. “Wow, y/n! It’s been awhile. I recognize that laugh anywhere.”
Sitting up straight and trying to smile, you responded. “Uh, yes it has Eric. Yes it has.” You turned towards Billy to introduce him. “Eric, this is my boyfriend Billy Russo.” Billy stood up to shake Eric’s hand, narrowed his eyes at him and squeezed his hand to the point where it probably was quite painful.
“Nice to meet you, Billy. That’s a nice suit.” He paused so he could look Billy up and down, like he was sizing him up and turned his gaze back to you. "Oh I’m married now, yeah.” He pointed to the ring on his finger. “That’s my wife, Laura over there.” Eric pointed towards his table.
You put on a fake smile. “That’s great, Eric. I’m happy for you. I’d really like to get back to my dinner now though, if you don’t mind.”
With a shocked look on his face, Eric said “Oh! Right, absolutely. My apologies, I’ll let you get back to your dinner, it was nice meeting you, Bill. And it was really nice to see you again, y/n.”
All you could manage to say was “Thank you.” And he walked back to his table.
Your entire body had seized seeing Eric again but having Billy next to you, holding your hand, made it easier for you and he helped to calm and soothe you so you could get back to enjoying your night out.
Carrying on with your dinner, you didn’t notice that Eric had gotten up to presumably use the restroom but Billy did, so he kissed you on the forehead and excused himself.
Billy wasn’t sure what he was going to do, maybe he wouldn’t even do anything but it didn’t mean he wasn’t prepared. Billy was a very good judge of character, he had a theory and wanted to test it out.
“But Billy, your food. I don’t want it to get cold.” You said.
He smiled slyly at you. “I’ll be right back, baby.” He said, and then he was gone.
You shrugged your shoulders slightly, took a sip of your wine, and continued to eat your dinner before looking straight ahead, noticing that Eric was not at his table. “Oh fuck…Billy. What are you doing?” You whispered to yourself out loud, almost choking on your wine.
Inside the restroom, Billy exited the stall and started to wash his hands, when Eric slid in beside him and started washing his hands also. He looked over at Billy. “Heyyyy, Billy Russo, right?”
“You’ve got a good memory.” Billy said sarcastically, rolling his eyes slightly.
Eric reached over with his wet hands and put one on Billy’s shoulder, drenching his white dress shirt. “Ya, know…you sure do have quite a grip there, Bill. You squeezed my hand pretty hard.” He said as he put pressure on Billy’s shoulder. “I’m glad I ran into you again. I wanted to tell you that Y/n is lookin’ reeeeeally good.”
There it is. Billy had a feeling if the opportunity presented itself, Eric would try and provoke him.
Billy was starting to get angry, it infuriated him at the very mention of your name coming from that asshole’s mouth but he tried to keep his cool. “Eric…Take your hand off me. NOW.”
Eric didn’t listen, he did have more to say, however. “I’m sure she told you alllllll about me, didn’t she?” He had a smug look on his face as he continued. “I’m sure she told you all about how mean I was to her, and yeah sure I called her names sometimes but for the most part I treated her pretty well. She just sat back and took it, I kept her in her place.”
Billy made a fist as he glared at Eric in the reflection of the mirror, he could feel his blood start to boil as Eric continued to talk about you.
“I will say, she was always a little firecracker in bed. One of the best lays I’ve ever had. That’s probably why you keep her around, am I right?” He smirked.
“No. I’m with her because I LOVE her.” Billy said curtly. His patience wearing thin.
Still, Billy kept calm even though he was shaking with rage as he tried to walk away. Eric followed him out of the men’s room, grabbed Billy’s shoulder and spun him around so they were nose to nose. “She is lookin’ really good though. What do ya say, Bill? How ‘bout you let me hit that one more time—“
Billy cracked, this guy said the one thing that made him forget all about trying to keep calm and not fly off the handle. It all went out the window when Eric made that comment.
Acting like he was going to walk away, Billy then drew back and punched Eric so hard in the face that one of his teeth came flying out of his mouth. Another punch to the stomach and to the face, Billy couldn’t stop, pretty soon Eric’s entire face was bloody.
As you continued to eat, you heard commotion coming from around the corner. People were leaving their tables to see what was going on, then came the screams and the sounds of broken dishes. You didn’t need to see what was going on, you knew Billy was involved somehow. There was no need to get up and look, you would find out soon enough.
After the screams and shrieks died down, the hostess came to your table.
“Uh, miss? I am very sorry to tell you but, Mr. Russo has been arrested.” She said while you happened to notice another hostess telling Eric’s wife, what you imagine was, the same thing.
You were shocked but not really and a little embarrassed. “What?!!” But you collected yourself and stayed calm. “Well ok, do you mind if I finish my dinner first before I leave to go get him?” You asked, feeling all of the stares from strangers pointing in your direction.
You could tell the hostess felt a little bad for you. “Absolutely, miss. Is there anything else I can do for you?” She asked.
“Would you box up his food for me and I’ll take a piece of the Valrhona chocolate cake to go, please?” You said.
Your server wrapped up Billy’s food and you enjoyed the rest of your Valentine’s Day dinner alone before going to bail him out of jail.
When you arrived at the police station, they took you to Billy’s holding cell where he didn’t notice you at first. He was leaning up against the bars with his eyes closed, small spatters of blood were sprinkled on his shirt and it looked like he had a small cut on his lip, Eric must have hit him at least once.
“Hey there, Rocky.” You gave him a half smile.
Opening his eyes, Billy looked happy to see you but his face had “sorry” written all over it. “Baby, I am SO sorry. I just—he pushed and pushed—and what he said. I wasn’t gonna let him talk about you like that—“ He said.
You interrupted him. “What did he say, Billy?”
“I don’t wanna tell you.” He said shaking his head.
“I wanna know what he said that made you that upset. I saw his face, Billy. You beat him pretty badly.” You told him.
Billy hung his head in shame. “He said that you always were a little firecracker in bed, one of the best lays he’s ever had. Then asked me if—if I’d let him ‘hit that’ one more time and I don’t remember much after that.”
You felt violated in a way, closed your body off from Billy by wrapping your arms around yourself and looking away from him, disgusted with Eric talking about intimate details of your relationship.
“I tried not letting him get to me, I tried walking away but when he said that—“ Billy violently shook his head back and forth. “I just couldn’t let him get away with it. I snapped—I’m sorry, my love.”
What Billy didn’t know was there was someone else in the restroom at the time Eric was provoking him. He told the owner of the restaurant and the police that he was surprised Billy didn’t punch him sooner than he did.
The restaurant wasn’t pressing charges and after the witness told the police what Eric had said and how he kept provoking Billy, he declined to press charges also so Billy was free to go.
“Well…I did not picture spending my Valentine’s Day in jail.” You said.
He extended his arms and reached out for you to pull you close to the bars. “Well, my love if you wanna get technical, I’M the one that’s in jail.”
You let out a little laugh. “This is true.”
Billy suddenly had a confused look on his face. “Hang on…did you stay and finish your dinner before coming here?” He asked, holding up a one finger to playfully scold you a little.
You knew he was joking with you so you scolded him back in a lighthearted tone. “I had to pay for it anyway Billy so yes, I enjoyed my food while it was hot! Don’t worry, I had them wrap yours.” You shook the bag in front of his nose. “I got a piece of chocolate cake for you too, even though I’m not sure you deserve it.” You said with a wink.
Billy’s eyes widened. “I said I was sorry, baby! Wait. Did—did you say chocolate cake?”
The man’s sweet tooth was insatiable.
“Oh you are gonna have to earn this chocolate cake, Billy Russo!” You snapped. “And you owe me for having to pay for my own Valentine’s Day dinner!”
But your expression softened, and you remembered that Billy apologized without being prompted to do so. It was the first thing he said when he saw you, he was getting better at communicating, so he was trying harder even though he still lost his temper.
What happened wasn’t about him this time though. It wasn’t about him being jealous, it was about defending you, wanting to protect you so that Eric couldn’t hurt you or say anything about you that would upset you.
You pulled back away from the bars and removed your phone from your clutch.
“Anything you want, sweet girl.” He said. “Wait, what are you doing?”
“Well first, I’m taking your picture to send to Frank. He’s gonna get a kick outta this.” You started to laugh, Billy wasn’t really amused but he cracked a smile anyway. You always seemed to be able to pull a smile from him even when he didn’t want to.
Slowly, you walked towards him. Reaching through the bars, you snaked your arms around his waist and tried to kiss him as best as you could without the bars getting in the way.
“Thank you, Billy.” You said.
With a surprised look on his face, he replied “For what? For getting thrown in jail and ruining our Valentine’s Day?” He asked, his voice still apologetic for what he had done.
“Well besides that…even though it may not look like it, you did show a lot of restraint tonight. Eric pushed you too far and I bet he’ll think twice before running his mouth about anyone else like that ever again. And you didn’t ruin my Valentine’s Day, Billy—the day isn’t over yet, my love. Let’s go home.” You said as the two of you exchanged smiles through the bars of the jail cell.
When you arrived at home, you told Billy he owed you a dance. You knew it wasn’t something he was very fond of doing but he did say you could have whatever you wanted plus he still had to earn that chocolate cake. The song starts.
I look and stare so deep in your eyes. I touch on you more and more every time. When you leave I'm beggin' you not to go. Call your name two, three times in a row
Billy smiled warmly at you and extended his hand for you to take it and pulled you flush against his chest as you moved together slowly to the music. He held your hand in his over his heart as he kissed the top of your head, just like he had done the night you met.
Such a funny thing for me to try to explain. How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame, yeah. 'Cause I know I don't understand. Just how your love can do what no one else can
He danced with you anytime you asked him to, albeit reluctantly, he did it because he loved you. He knew how much you loved that song and he would never do it for anyone else.
“I still have one more present for you, my love.” He whispered to you as the music continued.
Your kiss's got me hoping you save me right now. Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin'. Got me lookin' so crazy in love
You hummed into his chest, your eyes closed, and a wide smile spread across your face. “Hmmmmm…Oh yeah? Well I’m enjoying just listening to your heart beat right now, handsome.” You pulled away gently to look into his deep brown eyes as you said “How about you give it to me tomorrow.”
He looked down at you and kissed you on the forehead. “Whatever you want, beautiful. I love you.”
“I love you too, Billy.” You said as you finished the dance in the warm glow of the candlelight and the city lights outside, shining brightly through your living room window.
Billy would never let anyone say anything malicious about you, the woman he treasured, the woman that taught him the real meaning of love. Billy Russo never failed to show you how deep his love was for you, so if slow dancing with you in the living room was what you wanted from him, then he would happily do that until you told him to stop or until his very last breath, whichever came first.
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ariesbutalibra
TFC Ladies: @itwasthereaminuteago @thisishellfire @officialjanetsnakehole
If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕
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tropicalfreckles · 2 years ago
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Okay saw Unicorn: Warriors Eternal and now I talk about it.
This isn't even a theory or hc, I just wanna say I think it would be interesting if Emma doesn't remember she's Melinda because of not the probably canon thing of something going wrong/being interfered with that in turn summoned them too late or too early, but because: She's not supposed to be the reincarnated body for Melinda. There was a fuck up. That's why she doesn't remember being Melinda but still has her essence, Melinda's soul is just like fucking stuck somewhere because they got the wrong girl. So Emma has to pick up the pace for the woman who was SUPPOSED to be Melinda while also performing Melinda's duties as a warrior.
Being with her comrades in arms that have been friends for multiple lifetimes while her literal soulmate looks at a false shadow of the love of his life, a woman taken from her own life and happiness to be shoved into someone else's role.
I think that would be an interesting story arc but I know that's not what's going on (idk what is going on but I doubt it's that.).
Also it just seems (at least especially from the elf dude's perspective) that their 'former lives' before reincarnation are just idk. Like usually shucked out of their body entirely? Whatever identity they had before is gone. Dimitri went from Russian to British sounding blue elf.
I am interested in seeing what the ACTUAL story for this is and the arc for Melinda. I think it kind of felt a little rushed on the stakes for her identity issues for just 2 episodes but that's not really bad, that's just my personal thing. I'm already very interested in the roles of these characters and I love the art.
EDIT: Okay I read the actual synopsis (i went into this show blind) and I was right they were summoned too early, so that explains why they're all just like that.
Also adding I think the actual possible arc for Emma/Melinda showing that hey it is kind of fucked up the identities of these people kind of just... fucking go away for the sole purpose of becoming the same guys over and over again. Wonder since elf dude is the most lucid of his reawakened soul he'll start to be like this is kinda messed up. Especially since two of them are older teens and one of them is just an actual kid. That sounds interesting as well.
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smokeybrandreviews · 7 months ago
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Foreign Affairs
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Actively did not think I’d be tapping back into my FGO progress so soon, but I have to say, this Twenty Million Download campaign has been very good to me. I mentioned before, probably a post or two ago, how I was able to cash in unexpectedly with Barghest and Gorgon. Barghest was number nine on my most anticipated Servants and Gorgon is an obvious favorite being a Medusaface. The fact I was able to just puck Gorgon as my free Four-Star Servant and popped Barghest using f*cking Summon Tickets was a boon. I was able to effectively get two of my most coveted Servant, for free. Who takes Summon Tickets seriously, ever? That means I went into the Event Banners fully loaded with all my Saint Quartz. My goal was to make a run at the Shuten Banner but, as I went back through to check when she was available, I noticed something rather enticing. Someone who had found a way to the top of my most anticipated list, long after I wrote it. Not only that, but she’d be my very first Foreigner; A Class which eluded me, even on my robust first account. No, it wasn’t Abby (She’s my f*cking unicorn now, I guess? Particularly the Summer version), but one just as equally captivating, if not more so. Jacques de Molay was going to be available for, like, a day and a half, and I needed her! I cannot tell you how hard I hit those free mission, stacking as many Saint Quartz as I could. I really wanted Shuten but my desire for the last Templar was far more robust. One would even say girthy. I accumulated about sixty of those f*ckers by the time the Banner went live and just hoped it would be enough. That’s just twenty-two spins, two Thirty Quartz pulls. I was able to bolster my odds with one of those Marathon Log In day gets, another thirty Quartz, but still. I made the first pull and got nothing. I mean, I got a few solid Craft Essences but who cares about that? Second pull away, another eleven spins and luck was on my side. Literally the second thing to pop was Jacques! Sixty Quarts and she was mine!
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I immediately set out to enhance the f*ck out of her. Considering my aggressive participation in every Event lobbed my way since starting this second account, I had a substantial stockpile of Materials to throw at Jacques. Maxing her out to level ninety took a bit more effort, though. I had used a ton of those Hellfire of Wisdom I had stashed away, to level up a bunch of ancillary Servants for the Quartz bonuses. That means I had to actually run the gauntlet of the Training Grounds for more. I relished the opportunity. I mean, I needed to get her Bond Level up, too, so why not? Two birds, one stone. By the time that fifth level popped, I had more than enough to level her all the way up. Obviously, I had a decent stockpile to get her going but I ended up initially topping of at about level fifty and change. Respectable but useless alongside my one hundred and two Mordred. My Ninety Barghest, Gray, and Mash aren’t too shabby either. I spent most of yesterday evening, just grinding away, doing everything I could to get Jacques to her Final Ascension and max level. Actually having her in my front line as a proper Servant instead of support, felt brilliant, I must say. It’s insane how much progress I’m making with this second account, spending next to no real loot on it. The Gacha gods have been kind. Speaking of, I had and Extra Summon Ticket left and threw it at the Cast Banner one more time. They tossed back Baobhan Sith in return. You can’t make this sh*t up. I don’t even want her, I’m lousy with Assassins, but whatever. Cash them all out, am I right? If they’re offering, I’m for sure taking!
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smokeybrand · 7 months ago
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Foreign Affairs
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Actively did not think I’d be tapping back into my FGO progress so soon, but I have to say, this Twenty Million Download campaign has been very good to me. I mentioned before, probably a post or two ago, how I was able to cash in unexpectedly with Barghest and Gorgon. Barghest was number nine on my most anticipated Servants and Gorgon is an obvious favorite being a Medusaface. The fact I was able to just puck Gorgon as my free Four-Star Servant and popped Barghest using f*cking Summon Tickets was a boon. I was able to effectively get two of my most coveted Servant, for free. Who takes Summon Tickets seriously, ever? That means I went into the Event Banners fully loaded with all my Saint Quartz. My goal was to make a run at the Shuten Banner but, as I went back through to check when she was available, I noticed something rather enticing. Someone who had found a way to the top of my most anticipated list, long after I wrote it. Not only that, but she’d be my very first Foreigner; A Class which eluded me, even on my robust first account. No, it wasn’t Abby (She’s my f*cking unicorn now, I guess? Particularly the Summer version), but one just as equally captivating, if not more so. Jacques de Molay was going to be available for, like, a day and a half, and I needed her! I cannot tell you how hard I hit those free mission, stacking as many Saint Quartz as I could. I really wanted Shuten but my desire for the last Templar was far more robust. One would even say girthy. I accumulated about sixty of those f*ckers by the time the Banner went live and just hoped it would be enough. That’s just twenty-two spins, two Thirty Quartz pulls. I was able to bolster my odds with one of those Marathon Log In day gets, another thirty Quartz, but still. I made the first pull and got nothing. I mean, I got a few solid Craft Essences but who cares about that? Second pull away, another eleven spins and luck was on my side. Literally the second thing to pop was Jacques! Sixty Quarts and she was mine!
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I immediately set out to enhance the f*ck out of her. Considering my aggressive participation in every Event lobbed my way since starting this second account, I had a substantial stockpile of Materials to throw at Jacques. Maxing her out to level ninety took a bit more effort, though. I had used a ton of those Hellfire of Wisdom I had stashed away, to level up a bunch of ancillary Servants for the Quartz bonuses. That means I had to actually run the gauntlet of the Training Grounds for more. I relished the opportunity. I mean, I needed to get her Bond Level up, too, so why not? Two birds, one stone. By the time that fifth level popped, I had more than enough to level her all the way up. Obviously, I had a decent stockpile to get her going but I ended up initially topping of at about level fifty and change. Respectable but useless alongside my one hundred and two Mordred. My Ninety Barghest, Gray, and Mash aren’t too shabby either. I spent most of yesterday evening, just grinding away, doing everything I could to get Jacques to her Final Ascension and max level. Actually having her in my front line as a proper Servant instead of support, felt brilliant, I must say. It’s insane how much progress I’m making with this second account, spending next to no real loot on it. The Gacha gods have been kind. Speaking of, I had and Extra Summon Ticket left and threw it at the Cast Banner one more time. They tossed back Baobhan Sith in return. You can’t make this sh*t up. I don’t even want her, I’m lousy with Assassins, but whatever. Cash them all out, am I right? If they’re offering, I’m for sure taking!
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kradogsrats · 1 year ago
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oh NICE I really like what you've pointed out about the true sight serum, Kpp'Ar would definitely have used that on the scroll and it's such a great parallel with Viren.
But just to talk about the staff and Star magic for a hot second:
I'm firmly of the belief at this point that the main functionality of the staff at the level Viren or Kpp'Ar would use it is to capture, store, and release magical/life essence, particularly for dark magic. The whole coin thing is an aspect of that. If it's Star magic, I would argue that it's corrupted Star magic, in the same way as Claudia's corrupted Sun staff—the Star primal isn't even associated with death/afterlife (that would be Moon) or souls (soulfang serpents? Moon, again). It's generally regarded as more of a time/space thing, though to be fair, it also includes shit like "reality-altering" and "wishes," so it could be able to do just about anything.
Star magic also really doesn't have any association at all with healing, beyond being just flat-out incredibly powerful in the sense of presumably being able to "alter reality" to "wish" someone well, or something... so idk I personally doubt that Viren and Kpp'Ar were looking specifically for Star magic in trying to heal Soren. My theory—because remember, Viren doesn't know about the unicorn scroll, or at least doesn't recognize it when it's right in front of him, which if he and Kpp'Ar were teamed up in searching for Star magic to heal Soren is kind of weird—is that Kpp'Ar had mostly given up on healing Soren, but was pursuing the unicorn horn to resurrect him. He doesn't tell Viren about this because it's still an incredibly long shot, as options go. Nothing even remotely like that has been done in centuries, if ever—unicorns are believed to be long extinct on both sides of the Border, for one thing. Even if he could reveal the map, they could very well follow it and find nothing there.
As for the staff, Kpp'Ar probably would/did try to destroy it... but that thing survived a point-blank burst of Archdragon fire without even a mark and then hung around for the next thousand years in the same condition as it started, it's not going anywhere. Until Callum, experienced destroyer of powerful magical artifacts for plot reasons, gets his hands on it, presumably. But what I think is significant is we don't see it at any point in Puzzle House. Viren is carrying it constantly by the time Harrow is crowned, which is only about a year later... so where is it, while Atticus is still king? One possibility: Atticus might be able to recognize it as belonging to Kpp'Ar. Viren's already on ground that could become very shaky, very quickly with the whole "oh yeah, he totally just disappeared, no idea why... no, I definitely can't get into his house to loot his stuff find out what happened to him" thing—if he suddenly shows up with one of Kpp'Ar's incredibly powerful magical artifacts, there are going to be Questions. Harrow, on the other hand, may have never seen it before, or Viren believes he can leverage their friendship to explain it away.
Kpp'Ar, the Staff of Ziard and why Lissa left.
This is really spoilerly for Puzzle House and the novels, so just gonna put most of this under a cut.
In short, I think the reason Viren coined Kpp'Ar and Lissa divorced Viren comes down his use of the Staff of Ziard.
In Puzzle House Kpp'Ar is researching unicorns, presumably for the Stars magic to heal Soren, who from Book: Moon novel/Puzzle House is confirmed to have a long term illness that affects his breathing, leaves him bedridden and eventually he becomes deathly ill.
But before a cure for Soren is found Kpp'Ar renounces dark magic and focuses on mechanisms and puzzles (specifically a surprise for Soren and Claudia inside his manor/Puzzle House).
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Viren refers to this as "the profligate tantrum [Kpp'Ar] called his repentance" in Book Sky. Kpp'Ar destroys a bunch of relics and spellbooks. One of the relics Kpp'Ar destroys is a copy of the bloodbinding ritual box;
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Most likely the potion Kpp'Ar used that caused this tantrum was the same one Viren uses the last dose of trying to figure out the mirror. Eyeless viper serum -handed down from the Oracles of Ophidia who existed before Elarion fell - which sees through the illusions of the world. It's the most powerful, and risky, anti-illusion spell they had access to. While it doesn't let Kpp'Ar see the map inside the scroll, it might have let him see through another long standing illusion - the Aaravos censoring spell.
Given that Kpp'Ar seems to have inherited stuff down all the way down from Ziard and probably stuff from the Jailer, given their joint obsession with puzzles, most likely stuff from the mage king from events surrounding Aaravos' imprisonment too. (This mage king seems to be from Katolis, and presumably died during this war, resulting in Orphan Queen's deeds making her the new Queen). It seems likely that Kpp'Ar found out about a least some of Aaravos' plans and his relation to dark magic, which so horrified Kpp'Ar he immediately gives it up.
But if Kpp'Ar is cleansing his possession of anything to do with Aaravos, than why is the Staff of Ziard still around?
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While Kpp'Ar has given up on dark magic, locating unicorns, and essentially curing Soren, Viren is still very desperate. Kpp'Ar and Viren are arguing - Claudia overhears them one time;
[Claudia] had snuck into Kpp'Ar's "puzzle house" and was hiding in one of the passages when she overheard the angry yelling. She could still hear her father shouting at Kpp'Ar, "I'll do anything to protect my family - however dangerous, however vile!" [Book: Sky novel]
At this point Viren uses the Staff to curse Kpp'Ar into a coin. What's notable is that we know from Callum's research into reversing the curse is that the Staff allows for use of Stars related dark magic - exactly what Kpp'Ar and Viren were looking for to cure Soren.
What if the Staff was some dangerous relic locked away for centuries that Viren claimed against Kpp'Ar wishes, possibly even tried to forbid Viren from using or Kpp'Ar was actively trying to destroy it. Which is Viren coined Kpp'Ar - sadly, before Kpp'Ar could explain anything about Aaravos and why the Staff is so dangerous and vile.
Then Viren uses the Staff to cure Soren, essentially making a Faustian deal with Aaravos. Which is why Aaravos immediately decides to go ahead with the bloodbinding ritual as soon as he notices Viren is the wielder of the Staff. Viren has already agreed to go along with whatever the Staff real (and as Kpp'Ar likely worded it, vile) purpose is.
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This healing spell wreaks Viren's appearance, causing massive amounts of corruption all at once.
After which the relationship between him and his wife, Lissa, becomes strained. Viren believes this is related to his destroyed appearance, but overlooks the fact he's still using the dangerous relic that wreaked him. Despite knowing its dangerous - using it increases his power a lot. (Compare Viren's aspiro frigis when backed with a primal stone and the Staff to Callum's aspiro frigis when backed with just a primal stone. No contest). Viren doesn't want to give up this power and is likely ignoring Lissa's protests about it. Also, she might know about what he did to Kpp'Ar, which would be a thorny issue in itself.
And going from comments made by Callum in Callum's Spellbook, Viren's behaviour starts deteriorating at around this point. Though to fair, cursing your mentor would definitely count as crossing a moral event horizon.
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savage-magpie · 2 years ago
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Read: Unnatural Creatures, collected stories edited by Neil Gaiman
The first time I tried to read this anthology I was in high school, and while I remember loving some select stories I never finished it. I have to wonder why not: the pieces collected vary in tone, in length, in style, in content and genre—humorous, unsettling, thoughtful—but all bring the fantastical or unnatural out into the light in one way or another. One that stuck out to me the most was The Smile On the Face, in which a teenage girl, struggling with body image and insecurity, swallows a cherry pit and turns into a serpentine tree-spirit, but only to the eyes of a boy who’s bullied her for years. Nalo Hopkinson presents Gilla’s teenage anxiety and uncertainty in such straightforward and direct prose that it feels as real, pressing, and obvious as similar issues felt to me as a teenager, yet now, as an adult reader, I found it uncomfortable to be pushed back into that mindset, and full of unexpected compassion for Gilla and my own younger self. So that alone would have sold me on this story, but there is the additional layer of the fantastical, her transformation into a hamadryad with fangs and claws and scales when her classmate menaces her. Gilla becomes both a young woman coming into her confidence and something else. That too evoked, for me, a certain sense, when I was a young woman, of otherness, of the strangeness of my own body and the way other people saw me as strong or intimidating when I saw only its flaws. But, of course, for Gilla, the transformation is literal: she’s not the only one who sees it.
As for the role of the suspiciously animated cherry tree that dropped a cherry on her head, which she then ate and whose pit she then accidentally swallowed, it’s never explained. Another story might have ended with Gilla returning home and thanking the tree. I like to think she went and learned more about the why behind her sudden foray into the supernatural, but in this story, Gilla cares for little except her own insecurity, and then the fact of her deliverance from it. She’s too consumed with her anxiety and then her own shocking, delightful strength to worry about hows or whys. That too is a profoundly teenage thing, and I think the story is stronger for allowing the tree and the magic to just exist.
Gaiman talks in the introduction about wanting, as a child, to visit a Museum of Unnatural History, to see things from the shadowlands of mystery and fantasy and folklore, if only those things could be displayed in a museum without losing their very essence. A unicorn that could be caught and dissected and stuffed in a glass case wouldn’t be magic anymore. The Smile On the Face is a story that brings magic into one girl’s life in a very real way, but doesn’t sever it from the shadowlands whence it came. Unknowns abound and Gilla doesn’t worry about them. Good for her.
Some other favorites—The Cartographer Wasps and the Anarchist Bees, of which I definitely read at least part when I was younger, and which means so much more to me now with half a decade of training in things like political structures and cultural awareness; Moveable Beast, for scratching a very particular itch about young women who are thought to be the sacrificial virgins instead being the keepers of the beast; The Manticore, The Mermaid, and Me, for reasons that I honestly can’t quite pin down; and The Compleat Werewolf, which was just a fun ride start to finish.
Also Reading:
Godsong, a verse translation of the Bhagavad Gita, with commentary, by Amit Majmudar—progressing slowly because this is the sort of text one consumes slowly with much thought given to the contents
Dark Money by Jane Mayer—progressing slowly because it makes me incandescently angry about things that I, in my present life position, can’t do anything to fix
Small Odysseys, short story collection edited by Hannah Tinti and introduced by Neil Gaiman—probably going to finish today or tomorrow; wonderful stories shorter on average than the ones in Unnatural Creatures. The collection isn’t explicitly about the supernatural but there are certainly supernatural or fantastical elements in some stories.
A Handbook of Saxon Sorcery & Magic by Alaric Albertsson—really interesting look at specifically Anglo-Saxon folk magical practices as opposed to the related, but distinct, Norse and Icelandic folklore. I’m especially enjoying the exploration of the Younger Futhorc runic alphabet.
Next up:
Devotions, Mary Oliver
A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians, H. G. Parry
Supreme Inequality, Adam Cohen
Cultish, Amanda Montell
Call Us What We Carry, Amanda Gorman
Horse, Geraldine Brooks
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fantasyinvader · 8 months ago
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I think it's more of a thematic thing. Owing to the Mandate of Heaven symbolism, heaven does not condone Edelgard's rule and it's the people's job to rise up and overthrow her. In essence, the game is saying that Edelgard does not have merit as a ruler and should be replaced by someone who does.
The fact that Edelgard uses military strength to force her rule upon the people is supposed to show her lack of merit. Edelgard resorting to corrupt deals, supporting the nobility that bend the knee to her, shows her lack of merit. Edelgard's willingness to sacrifice her people for her ideals shows her lack of merit. Her running the economy into the ground and starving her people to support this war shows she's not fit as a leader.
The fact Edelgard had such a huge advantage in the war due to TWSITD sabotaging the other nations as well as aiding her, yet she failed to conquer Fodlan. She just kept throwing soldiers against the other sides until Gronder happened, where doing so weakened her army to the point it's possible for the Church faction to take her out by themselves. It's even highlighted in the cutscene where Edelgard is the one lord to not lead her army from the frontlines, whereas Claude and Dimitri charge with theirs.
Edelgard might view her allies as her pawns but it's clear she doesn't know how to properly use them. Yet despite this, she believes she's the one who should have all the power and appoint people to their positions. Hell, she puts Caspar in charge of the army with the Japanese text outright saying he can't keep them under control. Her goal is to acquire absolute power over Fodlan so that she may reshape it according to her own beliefs, which ultimately reminds me something Tolkien said.
Tolkien was not a fan of democracy and part of that was how easy it was to corrupt. Instead of serving the people, it ends up serving the backers of the politicians and their bankers. He talked about how it was also a system where one pursued power, and as a result are willing to perform evil to both gain it and maintain that power. That's the line that makes me think of Edelgard and her rule.
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Tolkien would probably have been a Blue Lions fanboy, he definitely would have loved Alain from Unicorn Overlord at least.
But that right there may be the true issue with Edelgard. She believes her way is the only way to fix Fodlan, even if she has to ignore reality to maintain that belief, and as a result she only seeks power. Power so that she may do whatever she wants, make whatever reforms she'll come up with in the name of her ideals. She has no idea what her reforms will actually be like, Heroes made that clear with it's post-CF Alt, everything she's done has simply been in the pursuit of that power. Everyone she's killed or sacrificed, it's been at the altar of power. It ultimately is why she is a hegemon, her power has to be enough that there's no real challenge to it yet Byleth, someone who the game makes out as actually having the merit to rule, their leadership is enough to end her reign.
And maybe that's part of what Houses aimed to say. Power is not a legitimate claim to rule. Not when the Agarthans viewed themselves as gods, not when Nemesis ruled as a tyrant, and not Edelgard's claim as well. Rulers who seek to increase their own power, seek to rule over others, are to be avoided whereas power should be given to those who will put it to the best use. Byleth, Dimitri and even Claude are grow into being rulers hence why they are given power. But to try and take power? That's the path to tyranny.
“To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.” - Douglas Adams
A quick observation.
First we have Ionius, said by Hubert to have been a puppet of Thales. Thales, as Arundel, was regent meaning that Ionius was unable to rule likely due to health concerns. Now, think about this. Thales killed Edelgard's siblings when she got her second crest, and then Ionius gets sick. Thales takes over as regent until Edelgard ascends the throne, after which Ionius dies. We know Cornelia was manipulating Rufus and how he looks like shit, and when Edelgard declares war she has him killed. It's also been all but stated they were behind the death of Claude's uncle, framing Gloucester, while Claude's grandfather mysteriously became ill around the same time.
So we have Thales ruling in Ionius's place, Ionius being sick and then dying after Edelgard takes the throne. We have Cornelia manipulating Rufus into taking the throne, have him run the country into the ground and then has him killed with Dimitri framed and believed to be executed once the war starts. Then we have Claude's uncle be killed by them, one of the major houses of the Alliance framed, and then Claude's grandpa becomes sick as well and dies during the timeskip. We also have Holst being sick a lot in Houses, preventing him from acting. But then Claude shows up from Almyra, believing Fodlan will have the answer to fixing Almyra's racism for some reason, and then starts blaming the Church when that isn't the case while it's shown that TWSITD are trying to feed him information like they're implied to have done with Edelgard.
You starting to see what I'm seeing? I mean, look at how much they stacked the deck against Rhea. The Empire is attacking her due to their machinations, the Alliance is led by someone who wants the Church gone so declares neutrality as a result of their schemes, and they instantly take over half of the Kingdom with the only hold-outs being the Eastern part of it without any clear leadership because of what they've done to it. Hell, that means only an EIGTH of Fodlan (considering the size of each country) is fighting back against Edelgard (outside of Flower, but even then it's still mentioned by Yuri the Empire have the advantage) and it's still a stalemate before Byleth shows up.
Shows how bad Ed and Caspapa suck at strategy.
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alexaplaysgames · 4 years ago
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RANKING ALL FICTIF LOVE INTERESTS BASED ON HOW GOOD I THINK THEY SMELL (WORST TO BEST) - PART 1
Welcome back guys to my own personal living hell this again. Today I will be examining your personal opinions on how good the Fictif characters smell and telling you where you are wrong. Once again, there is no room for suggestion or improvement; I am omnipotent and everything I say goes. If you don’t like it, come at me, if you want to see what it feels like to have a 5’0 woman kick your ass.
I had a request to rate more CGs from @honourlight and I’m going to! Until then, enjoy this. Or don’t. I didn’t particularly enjoy imagining these rank ass smells .
Disclaimer: some of these are based on appearance alone, since I haven’t played all routes. And please, don’t take this seriously. All the Fictif characters are sexy. They just might smell too.
1. Sage Lesath
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Coming in hot (or at least he’d like to think so) at number ten is Sage. Some of you are going to get real pressed about this, so let me remind you that it is not my fault I am right. This man definitely smells like raw sweat and fourty pounds of intoxication wrapped up in a sweet sandwich of wet cat. He has got that je ne sais quoi, and by that I mean I have no clue what that absolute stank wafting off him might be. Go ahead and lick his tiddies, but don’t come crying if they taste like battery acid. People sleep with him for many reasons, but the aroma is not one of them.
2. Chava Cerilla
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It would’ve been more pleasant to scoop my eyeballs out with a ice-cream scoop than to put my boo second last, but my mama didn’t raise no bitch so I’m going to be honest. This man smells to high heavens. I licked him once and could taste his rankness through the screen. If he was real I would be able to smell it from Canada. Chava definitely smells like if pure must personified decided to smoke pot during the fifteenth century when people bathed like one a month. I just know in real life that shirt would be about as clean as my search history. His hair would smell like freshly mown grass but only because there’s actually grass in it. Probably grows coffee beans in there too.
3. Sergio Jimenez
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Are you upset? Good. Life is upsetting, as is how Sergio smells. How does he smell, you ask? Imagine you took a Ken doll, melted it down, extracted its essence, and combined it with Old Spice. That’s Eau de Sergio: 50% hair gel, 50% compensation for something in the form of a bottle probably labelled something like Black Ice. You know how kids used to get high off the smell of sharpies? I’m pretty sure you could do the same by simply sniffing this man. He is toxic in every sense.
4. Tess Rogers
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I love this bitch but I have to be honest: she smells. Tess Rogers has a layer of Cheeto dust thicker than Nicki’s ass caked ten miles deep under her nails and 100% uses two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. She would definitely skip class to make out with a cotton-candy scented vape pen, and if you caught her would give you stank eye that still pales in comparison to the way she literally reeks. Just because you wanna be one of the guys, Tess, doesn’t give you reason to smell like them.
5. Miguel Bravo
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I’ve barely talked to him, but even without buying his bonus scene I can tell this man smells like ass. Hunny, someone needs to tell you that whiskey and leather is not tasteful, it’s a nose-full, and it’s clogging my goddamn nostrils. It is not your sheer beauty that is leaving the people speechless, it’s the smell of gasoline blocking off their alveoli. Miguel smells like every man that stared into a glass of scotch at a bar ever. I don’t care how metaphorically broken inside and desperate for love you may be, take a shower before your stench bursts my goddamn lungs.
6. Anisa Anka
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This is the first time in this list that I’m going to come out and say this, but I think Anisa smells fine. Not fine like Idris Elba fine, more like you should probably be fined for smelling like that but you’re cute so I’ll let it slide. You know those bottles at Claire’s scented something ridiculous like marshmallow gumdrops and unicorn barf? Anisa smells like that on a good day. It’s a little odd, enough to make you question your sanity, but withstandable. On a bad day, well, this girl wants to eat dolphins. She would probably take furniture polish and spray it on herself for absolutely no fucking reason.
-
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and I will see you all again in part two.
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atlas-tries · 3 years ago
Text
The Mourning Tree || Chapter 2: A(n Attempted) Murder of Bros
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Summary: Remus reveals something to Roman to see what his over-dramatic brother will do.
Warnings: somewhat unsympathetic Roman, violence, swords, dead animals, Remus playing with dead animals, blood and gore, medical descriptions, injury, self stabbing
Word Count: 7513
Notes: This chapter gets even more serious, so once more, please tread lightly. I'd love to hear what y'all think!
"You'll never guess where I got this."
Roman barely looked up from his sketchpad when Remus spit a dead rabbit on the floor of the treehouse that afternoon. It was nothing in comparison to the other things that he'd been bringing in as surplus, but Roman still scrunched his nose at the pungent odor. "Probably from some poor rabbit’s burrow where the babies could see it all," he replied, fussing over the detailing on his dragon's scales.
Remus just smiled down at the bloating corpse, poking at it with his fingers as if it were slime. “Even better than that!”
“Somewhere you weren’t supposed to be but were anyway?”
"That’s hardly a guess, how is it supposed to be fun if it isn’t a crime?" He bounded over to Roman and looked down at his drawing from above. "Ugh, still going with your unicorn horns and dragon tails? Come on, RoRo, you can't tell me this is all the spice you've got in that head of yours! You should at least try and capture the essence of the more interesting thing I eviscerated there!" He poked at Roman's forehead hard.
Roman swatted the hand away, amusement only slightly outweighing his annoyance. "If you found something more enticing, then why drag this back here instead? And is that a knife in your side?"
Remus looked like he'd forgotten it was there in the first place. He yanked it out, sending green spurting out his side and onto Roman. "Thanks for reminding me! I still need to figure out what makes rabbits work from the inside out. The other thing interrupted me, and right when it was getting interesting!"
“I’m running out of ways to say how revolting you are. And you are going to pay for my dry cleaning!” Roman barked.
Remus seemed to get an inkling of inspiration. Roman’s eyes grew wide. Ninety-five percent of the time, inspiration and Remus were a very bad combination in close quarters, and before Roman knew it, Remus had grabbed the back of his collar and pulled him toward the door.
"I didn’t mean with me still in them! Unhand me, you ape!" Roman cried.
"Mmm, nah!" Remus said. "And you know I'm more of an Eldritch horror than an ape. Oh Roman, you wound me!" He put the back of one hand to his head like he would faint in true Southern Belle fashion and swung Roman over the edge of the door with the other. Roman quickly latched on to the ladder before his grip could loosen. "Even with tentacles in all the right places, I still don't have enough arms to get everything I want back here. That's where you come in!" Remus peered down at Roman with that ever-amused twinkle in his eye.
"Wait, you expect me to help you get whatever it is you were torturing back here?" Roman cried. Remus smiled dangerously from where he squatted in the doorway, raising his lower half and wiggling like he was ready to pounce. Roman scrambled down the ladder, but he wasn't quick enough to dodge his other half careening into him. Roman barely had enough time to summon a trampoline below them before they both got concussions.
Remus just giggled, bouncing face down on the trampoline with his arm slung over Roman, who landed on his back. Distantly, he noticed he was still holding on to the entire ladder. Wonderful. "Aww, I was looking forward to slapping the ground, but for my pitifully frail little brother, I guess I'll make an exception and do that later," said Remus.
Roman just laid there for a moment, stewing in his ire. He was getting dreadfully tired of dealing with Remus's antics, but his curiosity burned brighter by the minute. "That doesn't answer my question."
"Oh, the other thing? That particular project is perfectly capable of moving itself here anyway. No no no, we're going on a wabbit hunt!" Remus exclaimed. He rolled off the side of the trampoline, landing with a dull thud against the ground. He bounced back up to peer over the edge at Roman. "And now you have no choice but to come with me, Elmer Dud!"
Roman sat up and tossed the now-useless ladder aside. "Fine," he grumbled. The treehouse could be fixed later, and maybe going with Remus now meant that he'd be more tolerable in the evening. "On one condition: you tell me what in the world you found that could possibly walk here. Knowing you, it's probably seeking revenge."
"Oh, wouldn't that be a surprising twist! But no, he's far too drab for something like that."
Roman's blood ran cold. "He?"
Remus just cocked his head to the side and tugged at Roman's leg, who scooted to the edge of the trampoline. "You heard me. And wouldn't you know it, he's been here every day for the past week, moping around like a sick ostrich sticking his head through the castle gates. Too bad he wasn’t trying to copy what the French revolution did to their nobles, I really wanna see how my headless trick would work in his neck of the woods," he replied with a little giggle. Roman saw his nail beds were stained blue around the rims. How had he not noticed that before?
"Remus. Tell me, right now. Did you fight Patton?" Roman slowly asked, getting off the trampoline.
Remus just grinned wickedly, preening his nails with a bent, rusty nail he conjured. "It was more of an ambush than a fight, but it was still fun. Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?"
"What did you do?" Roman asked, getting more and more unsettled. It was very much like Remus to get to do what Roman wanted to do before Roman got to do it. He needed the satisfaction of getting all of these toxins out of his system with the very one that put them there. He didn’t want to do it just yet, though; he didn’t trust himself not to do something very regrettable to Patton.
"Oh, we just played a little game together, that's all!" He shoved the pointed end beneath one nail.
"Is that all?"
"I didn't kill him, if that's what you're asking. I know, I passed up a real opportunity."
Though Roman knew who Remus kept company with, it wasn’t like him to lie. He hadn't killed Patton. Hurt him, sure, probably pretty badly. But Roman knew how Patton got when he got determined to do something, which meant he was still looking for him. And knowing Remus, he probably gave the dolt a map leading straight to him. "Please tell me you didn't give the dolt a map leading straight to me."
"Alright, I didn't tell him where you are."
Roman groaned and put his head in his hands. "You did, didn't you."
Remus clapped. "I did! But don't worry, I got very creative with my words," Remus replied. "Obfuscating here, perverting there, shoving the whole affair through a meat grinder ... oh, you should've seen the look on his face when I threw that rabbit skin at him!"
Roman settled a little. Maybe Remus's antics had thrown Patton off his game enough for Roman to evade him for at least the rest of the month. "I hope you're right about that, because if not, I'll be sure to use you for live leviathan bait."
“You know I’d love to do that even if you weren’t trying to threaten me,” Remus guffawed and smacked Roman's shoulder. He shot him an odd look, almost like he knew what was dancing through his head. "Looks like we're more alike than you'd like to admit, RoRo."
Roman couldn't bring himself to disagree.
---
After suffering the pains of being cut and stitched like a new suit, Patton found himself reinvigorated with Logan’s easy to understand interpretation of Remus’s clue as he sank into the Imagination for the second time that day. "Alright Patton, we're looking for the tallest tree," he told himself, scanning his surroundings intently with one hand on his hip and the other shielding his eyes from the sun.
"Let's see, that's the castle on the right, oh there's a little town over there! I never noticed that before! Aww, it's so cute from this far away! I wonder if there are villagers there?" Patton took a moment to ponder on that.
"Agh, focus, Patton!" he chided himself, gently smacking his cheeks. "Tall tree, tall tree, where can you tall be ..." Far off to Patton's left, one scrubby bit of green poked higher than the surrounding forest. “That’ll do!” He set off in that direction and did his darndest to keep his eyes trained on the destination ahead.
Thankfully, Patton's intended path had him following the river upstream, so the way wasn't too hard to keep track of. That turned out to be a real godsend when the squirrels showed up. They were just too cute not to follow, what with their little cheeks rounded out with chestnuts. They got substantially less cute when they started throwing the prickly chestnut burrs at him. He managed to cover a lot of ground in a very short time just running away from them (and from prickly chestnut burrs).
The next two hours of the journey were much less interesting. Patton's legs had long since started to ache from the constant uphill trudging, but he was nothing if not determined to reach Roman by the day's end. He whistled and sung back to the birds in the woods to help pass the time and attempted teaching them a simple tune. So far, none of them matched his refrain, but he was more than happy to try filling the air with something other than the melancholy rush of the river beside him.
Patton was beginning to think that he'd made a wrong turn at Albuquerque when he spotted a trampoline peeking out from the foliage to his right. "Oooh, now there's an idea I can jump for!" he squealed. He ran as quickly as he could toward the trampoline, clambering over all manner of shrubbery in his latest attempt to have some childlike fun. Between the third and fourth joy-filled bounces, he noticed something on the ground near the trampoline. "Huh, a rope ladder?"
He stopped bouncing long enough to confirm that this was, in fact, a rope ladder. One look up told him where it came from. "Well that's a little silly. Who would build a treehouse with a ground-bound rope ladder?" he mused, plopping down on the trampoline and loving the way he sprung up before properly settling. "Eh, I'll figure it out in a minute." He jumped back up with a giggle and let his impulses take over, bouncing as high as his tired legs would let him before falling back on top of the trampoline.
The high from bouncing was wearing off, allowing Patton more brainpower to really take in the environment. His gaze was drawn to the treehouse; it poked a bit above the rest of the foliage, likely enough to get a good panoramic view of the Imagination. He instantly sat up. Was this the tallest tree?
Had he finally made it to Roman??
Some nebulous feeling between relief and dread settled beneath his ribcage. Patton had been waiting for this for so long, but now that the moment of truth was upon him, he suddenly found himself at a loss for words. He took a deep breath and started with a simple, "Roman? Kiddo, are you up there? It's Patton."
Only shrill tweeting met his question. "Roman?" he called again. "Please, I just want to apologize." Still no reply.
Patton sat down on the edge of the trampoline. Roman didn't even want to talk to him. He must have cut the ropes as soon as he saw Patton coming. He was back to square one. "Oh gosh," he softly said, "what if he never talks to me again? What if he ducks out ...? Oh no ..." Patton hugged his knees to his chest. It felt like he was drowning in all the tears he had cried in the past week as he struggled to take a breath. And now, here he was, adding more salty drops to the overflowing bucket.
Patton had no idea when the sun decided to droop so low, or when the birdsong decided to phase into the soft chirps of summer crickets and tree frogs. All he knew was that he'd run out of tears to cry. His limbs were stiff when he uncurled himself and got down off the trampoline. He stared at the ladder. "I guess you really don't want me comin' up there, do you?" He picked it up, rubbing at the smooth, worn slats. He looked up at the treehouse one last time. The inside was dark. A fresh crack split across his chest. "Alright then."
Patton had nearly sunk out when he heard a voice from beyond the trees. Roman?
He frantically clawed his way back up before he fully arrived in the communal area, the force hurting his arms and chest, but it was a small price to pay to find Roman. He took a moment to let the pain settle down and tried not to breathe in any stray grass or bugs. Mustering the rest of his strength, he shakily stood up, dusted the front of his polo off, and searched in the direction he thought he heard the voices from.
Just on the other side of the ancient tree and next to the riverbank, a campfire's soft glow shone through the foliage and danced in the river's reflection. Patton's heart skipped a beat. That had to be Roman! Patton walked as quickly as he could to reach his wayward Prince.
"—didn't figure it out after all, or he'd have been here by now. At least that means I can’t kill him, not that he doesn’t deserve it."
Patton froze, his heart and body sinking quicker than a bottomless boat on a stormy sea. He put a hand to his mouth to silence the shuddering sobs threatening to give his position away. Roman really didn’t want him in his life anymore, and to such an extreme as to end him. Despite the overheard ultimatum, Patton couldn't move from where he sat crumpled behind the ancient tree.
---
Roman was really starting to get a headache.
Remus had been telling him about his encounter with Patton nonstop for the past six hours now. They hadn't even accomplished what they set out to do; all the noise scared away any rabbit within a 40-foot radius of them. And now here they were, devoid of anything to roast but still sitting side-by-side in front of a small campfire.
"Puh-lease, you killing anyone? You’re all bark, RoRo,” Remus chided. "Doesn’t matter though, I told you he wouldn't remember. He's nowhere around here! And yet you still insist that I am in the wrong?"
"Obviously I insist because you keep bringing it up. What do you think would happen if he found us?" Roman cried.
"Ooh, I can think of lots of fun stuff that could happen! Just imagine all the murder we could do, all the sex we cou—"
"Spare me the details." Roman was really getting a headac— no, scratch that. He was getting a migraine.
"Come on,RoRo, loosen up and have some fun!" Remus shoved at Roman's shoulder. Roman didn't respond. "Do you seriously think I'd just give him a map straight to you? I'm not that evil," Remus squawked.
"Yes, you are," Roman bitterly replied, glaring at the fire.
The sounds around them suddenly seemed too loud and cramped in the empty space. "Do you really mean that?" Remus asked in an uncharacteristically quiet tone. Roman felt Remus's eyes on him.
Roman grimaced but met Remus's unsettled gaze. He sighed. "No, I ... I just want to be angry," he said.
Remus frowned. "Too bad, I love having such a fitting regard! And from you of all sides! But if that's all, you've certainly been doing a bang-up job of being angry. Get it?" he gleamed, wiggling his eyebrows. "Because of the orgy I was suggesting?"
Roman groaned and smiled sourly. Though the past week had been an Ordeal in every sense of the word, Roman was grateful to his brother for sticking with him; Remus's presence made it a little easier to cope. The two sat in companionable near-quiet, just basking in the flickering firelight while Remus made whatever noises happened to cross his mind. It was strange, really, how a moment like this with company like Remus could feel so peaceful. Roman started humming a tuneless melody that gently rose above the river's babbling. If he thought about it just right, he could perfectly tune the water and the crickets to match his pitch.
A bird fluttered down from her nest above them and twittered along with Roman in perfect harmony. He held out a finger for her to perch on, which she boldly took. Remus just grinned, slowly moving toward Roman with his eyes trained on the tiny creature. Roman quickly flitted his eyes back and forth between his brother and the bird, his tune mounting in dreaded confusion.
Finally, at the apex of the melody, Remus quickly snatched the bird from Roman's hand and stuffed the shrieking animal into his mouth whole. "Wh— Remus! Why in the world did you eat my only backup singer?!" Roman cried.
Remus swallowed. Roman shuddered at the sight of the bird struggling beneath Remus's skin. "Uh, because I wanted to?" He burped up an oddly pristine feather, catching it between his fingers like a playing card. "Ooh, pretty!" He tossed it into the fire and looked at Roman. "Just make a new one, it's not that big a deal."
"It was, too! I was right in the middle of a song, and you can't just interrupt a showstopping performance with your boorish behavior!"
"Showstopping? Showstopping? It would've been showstopping if you'd blown needles out of your mouth while singing about naked Aunt Patty and spiders and entrails! Now that would be a performance to remember," Remus crowed, reaching out to touch the flames.
Roman cringed at the thought. "For you, maybe. But for the rest of us? Uh-uh. And nice try, Rem, I fireproofed the fire."
Remus scowled briefly. "Ah, you can't stop me from being me forever, RoRo," he replied, looking off into the distance. "One day, I will self-immolate to Taylor Swift's Shake It Off and it will be glorious."
"You're madder than the hatter."
"Says the one who believes in his own delusions of grandeur."
"Whatever."
Roman didn't want to think about just how true that was. He was a hero, wasn’t he …? He closed his eyes and started humming to himself again to discourage any wayward thoughts from arising and making a fool of him. At the edge of his senses, he could almost hear someone sniffling.
His eyes shot open. He turned to look at Remus, who regarded him with uncharacteristic disgust; it almost seemed like he was offended that Roman would ever think he would deign to have feelings like that in the first place. Sure enough, the source of the sound was coming from behind them. Remus's eyes grew wide with anticipation, then excitement, as he turned to face it.
Roman summoned his sword and slowly crept toward the tree, humming progressively softer to mask his movement. The source suspected nothing, still crying softly behind the foliage. Roman was right on top of the hidden side. He carefully, silently parted the foliage and was met with gray on blue. His anger flared and without warning, he slung Patton through the brush and onto the ground in front of him. Before Patton could react, Roman was already pinning him to the ground with the edge of his sword at Patton's neck.
Patton wriggled a little beneath Roman, trying to get free without agitating the blade. "R-Roman!" he squeaked.
"What. Are. You. Doing here, Patton?" Roman growled.
He barely registered Remus bounding up beside him. "Ooh, it’s already time for round two?" he said, his newly summoned Morningstar glinting oddly in the firelight. "I'm definitely getting in on this action!"
"Stay out of this, Remus!" Roman yelled.
Much to his surprise, Remus backed off with a sulk. “Ugh, fine, but I’m not going to stay away forever. I want another turn!” He fell back on the ground with a little pout.
Roman turned his attention back to Patton. "Now answer me. Why. Are. You. Here?"
Patton took a moment before spluttering, "I-I came here to apologize to you." Roman narrowed his eyes. "F-for what happened that night."
"You're … sorry? Is that all you came here for? Well I've got news for you, Padre," Roman leaned down beside Patton's head so he could be certain he heard him, "your little 'sorry' isn't going to be enough this time." He dug the cutting edge a bit deeper, just enough to break the skin, and rose up just enough to be face to face with the terrified side beneath him.
Patton stiffened under him, eyes blown wide. Roman could feel him hyperventilating as the smell of copper wafted up between them. "Roman, please, what can … what can I do t-to make things right?" Patton pled, choking a little but trying not to move.
"You can die by my blade." And in that moment, Roman meant it.
Patton glanced around before meeting Roman's eyes again. "Y-You don't mean that!" he cried.
"Don't I?" Roman slowly raked the cutting edge about an inch across Patton's skin. His expression contorted, mouth agape in a silent scream as fresh tears rolled down the sides of his face. Essence languidly poured from the long line he'd cut and dripped off the sword’s edge. It glowed softly where it pooled in the low light. The sight made it so much harder for Roman to keep his resolve, but he didn’t let it show.
"There's got to be something else, anything else, please!" Patton gasped.
Roman knew what he wanted. He knew what he needed. But it was still so hard to put it into words, even though he had every last bit of leverage at his disposal. Still, he found himself stringing them together despite the haze of his frustration.
"Tell me what I need to hear."
Patton just looked confused and scared. "Wh! What do you need to hear?"
"Tell me you made a mistake siding with that evil snake!” he shouted, eyes burning as red hot as smoldering coals.
“Oh, so he’s evil, but I’m not?” Remus whined.
“Shut. The ever-living fuck up, Remus!”
Patton gave a pained look and refused to meet Roman’s eyes. Roman itched to end this, to either work up the will to actually do the deed or to leave it be and disappear where Patton couldn’t find him. But before he could decide, Patton spoke. "I did make a mistake. But it wasn't by trusting Janus," Patton blubbered, hiccuping softly and grimacing when that made the blade move against him. "I didn't defend you when I knew I should have. I dismissed your feelings like they didn’t … didn't matter, even after saying that I needed you on my team. I … just wanted everyone to get along, but I only managed to let you down."
Roman eased the blade back a little. Patton continued, "Since that night, I've felt nothing but guilt over how I handled everything. If you want proof, just look under my shirt. But that's not the point. I ... I don't blame you for being mad at me, and I understand if this still isn't enough to make up for everything that I've done." He sniffled and cracked a small smile. "Do what you need to do." Patton closed his eyes, craning his head back to expose more of his still-bleeding throat.
Roman didn't realize he'd been crying until a teardrop fell onto Patton's face. Getting revenge would be so easy. Patton wouldn't fight him if he chose to snuff him out right here, right now; he was trying so hard to look peaceful about it despite his terrified shivering. "I can't do it," Roman muttered. He flipped the sword aside and rolled off Patton, holding his head in his hands and refusing to face him. "I just can't do it."
“Ooh, snack time!” Remus said, trotting over to them and picking up Roman's sword. He lapped at the essence on the cutting edge, making sure to cut into his own tongue for good measure. "Mmm, not bad, Patton," he said, turning to stare at the father figure on the ground. Blue and green dripped from his chin. "Were you going to finish that?" He motioned to his neck.
Patton tried to turn his head to look at the twins, breath hitching when it aggravated the wound. Instead, he rose with some difficulty, crawling over to sit in front of Roman. He put a gentle, timid hand on Roman's. "Whatever you need from me kiddo, I'll give you," he said, his voice somewhat scratchy, but with enough tenderness to make Roman's own heart clutch. He looked at the hand, and then up to Patton. His essence was soaking heavily into his shirt. Had he actually cut that deeply …? He looked away.
Roman sighed. "Give me the rest of the week to figure it out, that's all I ask," he finally replied. He highly doubted that all his animosity would vanish in that short time frame, but he had to at least try to do the heroic thing. He had a standard to keep, and he was nothing, if not determined, to keep it thusly.
Especially after nearly losing his grip on it enough to kill someone he cared about.
Patton smiled at him. "Alright, I can do that," he replied. He shakily rose, stumbling toward the most nearby tree and wiping at his neck.
Roman, though still upset, couldn't just let him flounder off and bleed his way through the forest until he got to a sink-able spot, even if the closest one was right around the base of the tree. He was almost entirely sure that Patton didn’t know about that stipulation in the Imagination, and he didn’t want to risk Padre bleeding out before he figured it out, even if he thought that would take hours to do. "Patton, wait."
Patton turned back. "Yeah?" he asked. Remus bounced up to him to lick the essence directly flowing from the side of the cut. He dabbed his fingers in what had already escaped the wound and spread it over his face. "Ow, Remus!" Patton’s cheeks flushed a bright red.
Even Roman felt like that was a little over the line. "Oh my God, could you please, for once in your life, stop being a disgusting cannibal," he said, getting up.
Remus latched on harder, going so far as to use his tentacles to hold on to Patton as well. He grinned wickedly, blue and green glinting off his teeth. "I can't just stop being me, RoRo! I stayed to the side long enough while you two had your fun, so wouldn't the brotherly thing be to shut up and let me have my turn? And besides, it's not like I'm gonna hurt him. Now. Not any more than you did." He smoothed the back of his hand over Patton's cheek.
Roman just groaned and strode over to them. He put his hand on Patton's flustered head, willing the Imagination to let him sink through right here. It obeyed his command, and Patton quickly sunk out of the Imagination, leaving Remus behind like gum scraped from a shoe.
"Hey, I wasn't done!" Remus cried, scraping himself off the ground and shooting an overblown glare at Roman. He took to licking some of the essence off his face and fingers with a tongue that was far too long and still dripping green.
The sight was a little unnerving. "You might not've been, but I certainly was. Though I have to admit, it was pretty great seeing the look on Patton's face when you did that," he said with a slight smile.
Remus's scowl quickly turned delighted. "Now that was showstopping! It could've been even more spectacular if you didn’t wimp out at the end."
"For you, maybe. I, however, have actual standards for decorum."
Remus shot him a condescending look. "Don't even pretend that you didn't want his head just as much as I did for a hot minute there, RoRo. We both saw what went down. Oh, I should've gone down on him too while you had him pinned. Get another kind of head," Remus said, wiggling his eyebrows and twirling his mustache.
"No. Just, no."
"Oh, lighten up, you pitiful puritanical Prince!”
"Hey, I am the light one here, I wear the white in this relationship!" Roman was really getting a headache, but at least the burdens that had settled on his shoulders felt a little lighter now.
---
Patton had been lying face down on the living room floor for around five minutes now. It felt like so much longer. Since he landed here after being forced out of the Imagination, he just couldn't summon the energy or the stability to really move. That nasty cut on his neck was still oozing. The carpet was ruined and so were his clothes. The rough carpet fibers scratched at the aggravated wound. If he focused a little more, he could almost feel wetness soaking through the bandages on his arm. So, here he was, bleeding out where everyone could find him. He could only hope that when someone did find him, he wouldn't just be a corpse.
He heard soft squeaks come from the staircase. The universe was answering his plea! "Patton?" came Virgil's voice. "Why are— OH MY GOD." Those squeaks turned thunderous. Patton felt the thump of Virgil crashing down on his knees beside him. "Patton, what happened?!"
Patton gave a little hand wave. "I'm alive. Virge, I need you to go get Logan," he rasped. He felt around for Virgil's hand, settling once Virgil met him halfway. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm alright. Tell him to bring the first aid kit."
"But I can't just leave you here! Can you stand? No wait, that's a stupid question," Virgil cried. Virgil reached under his arms, lifting him off the ground with a bit of difficulty. The room spun quicker than Patton thought possible. His whole body felt like jelly, and he held onto Virgil like a drowning man grasping a lifeline. "LOGAN!" Virgil yelled.
Before Patton knew it, Virgil was nearly dragging him toward the stairs. He tried to keep up, really he did, but his legs couldn't comprehend that stairs existed in three dimensions. After tripping over the first step, Virgil stopped. "LOGAN, HURRY!" Virgil yelled again.
"What do you— oh." Logan stood wide-eyed at the top of the stairs. In an instant, he was next to Patton. "Patton, what happened?"
"I got Roman back," Patton spluttered.
"That's wonderful, but I was referring to the gash on your neck. Never mind, we can discuss this more once you're stitched up again. Virgil, help him sit down with his legs in front of him. It'll take both of us to carry him to my room." Patton barely had the strength to go down slowly when Virgil guided him down on the first stair. "Good, now do as I do."
Patton remained pliant when they put their arms beneath his arms and knees and tried his best not to puke from the momentum of being hoisted like a fancy sack of potatoes. In no time at all, they crossed the threshold into Logan's room. The two lowered him onto a chilly steel table in his bedroom that was barely big enough to fit him laying down.
"I really don't wanna think about what else you use this table for," Virgil said, pacing nervously but rarely letting his eyes wander from Patton. "Ugh, this is too much like last time ..."
"Virge, I'm not gonna kick the bucket this time. Logan knows what to do," Patton replied.
Logan summoned a pair of scissors and some gauze. "This time, at least. Virgil, I need you to apply pressure to the wound while I further assess Patton's condition," he said.
Virgil nodded. "Oh, uh, okay."
Logan motioned for Virgil to put his hands over the gauze. He complied, and Logan pressed on top of Virgil's hands to give him an idea of what kind of pressure they needed. It was a little hard for Patton to breathe, but not enough to strangle him. "Good, just like that," he said, eyeing over the surrounding areas. Logan seemed to notice something peculiar but made no remarks about it otherwise. "I'll have to cut you out of this shirt to make sure you don't have any other substantial wounds," he said, not waiting for a reply before snipping the fabric.
Patton frowned. "I’m not hurt anywhere else. Aww, I liked this shirt," he whined as Logan cut through the collar. "But okay. Just don't cut through the hoodie, it's special." It was very hard to talk with Virgil pressing on his windpipe, and the pain from the movement it produced didn’t help either.
"Alright, but I can always get you another one. This one might be ruined." Logan carefully untied the hoodie with a look of mild disgust, trying not to get any of Patton's essence on his hands as he draped them to the side. He peeled the shorn halves of the shirt back, revealing one long, thin crack breaking over Patton's scar. "A fracture?"
"Yeah, overheard Roman saying something I wish I hadn't. Should heal in a few days."
Logan nodded. "Alright, I will take your word for it. Virgil, you can release the pressure for the moment."
Virgil looked hesitant to stop but did as Logan asked. "Just hurry, L. You can't die on me again, Pops," he said softly.
Patton smiled. "I won't, I promise." He took Virgil's hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I'll have to numb you to do these sutures. I can't risk you flinching every time I make a stitch like with the last one and from the looks of it, those might need to be redone, too," said Logan. He conjured a bottle of rubbing alcohol and another small wad of gauze and cleaned the area around the gash. "This may sting a little," Logan said, summoning a syringe with clear fluid in it. He flicked the bubbles out of the needle and pressed it to the edges of the cut.
Patton tried not to squirm as he injected the anesthetic, but it still had him wincing with every jab. "Needle-less to say, I'm sew sorry if I slipped a stitch, and after you did such a good job on them."
"Please don't make me regret learning how to suture wounds in the first place," Logan said. He took more gauze out and pressed it to the cut. "While we wait for the anesthetic to take effect, would you care to enlighten us on how you came to be in this state?"
"It all started when Mom and Dad moved to Florida—"
"Patton. Please speak plainly," Logan interrupted.
"Oh, how the turntables," Virgil mumbled.
Patton's smile fell. He really didn't want to frame Roman as the bad guy here; his anger toward Patton was perfectly justified given the circumstances. Plus, he was pretty sure Roman wouldn't have actually killed him in cold blood. "As long as you both promise to stay calm," he finally said. The two nodded. “I guess I must’ve snuck up on Roman and I guess he thought I was a predator, so he got a little rough. But it's alright! It was just an accident." Remembering how red Roman’s eyes blazed made him less sure of that assessment.
Virgil looked slightly more relieved, but still held an unsettled air about him. "Man, he could've held back a little. He really messed you up," Virgil said, looking to the door, then back at Patton. "I mean look at you, you're still gushing essence!"
"I wouldn't call that gushing, but the fact that the wound is this deep is quite unnerving. The anesthetic should have taken effect by now," Logan said, conjuring a small needle held in those same weird scissors and removing the soiled gauze. "Please stay as still as you can while I'm working. That means no talking or swallowing until I'm done."
Patton gently nodded, and the room was spinning again. Logan made quick work of this round of sutures, sewing with practiced ease. Virgil rubbed little circles into his hand. Whether it was to calm himself or to calm Patton, he didn't know. The unearthly quiet in the room made his racing heart pound uncomfortably loud in his ears. He briefly wondered if either of the other sides could hear it, too.
Before long, Logan was cleaning him off one last time and sitting him up on the edge of the table. Patton was trying his darndest not to fall off. Thankfully, both Logan and Virgil held him steady until the dizziness stopped. Virgil even sat beside him, holding him snugly against his side. Patton practically melted against him. "Here, this might help with the dizziness and nausea," said Logan. He summoned a glass of juice and handed it to Patton.
"Thank you," said Patton, sipping at the juice. Mmm, apple. The simple pleasure was a welcome juxtaposition to the rest of his day.
Logan took Patton's wrapped arm and started unraveling the bandage. A few of the smaller cuts looked a little aggravated and moist, but the stitches there appeared undamaged. Patton breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to go through this a third time. "That is a relief. I will wrap this up," Logan said, already winding gauze back around Patton's arm.
Patton giggled and opened his mouth to bring it up, but it was Virgil that said, "Did you just make a dad joke?"
Logan's eyes widened. "I was merely stating a fact," he curtly replied.
"Sure, Teach," Virgil responded, giving Patton a little pat.
Patton finished his juice with a smile on his face. Surprisingly enough, he felt like everything was a little more stable now. Maybe apple juice was the solution to all of life's problems. He was almost comfortable enough to doze off against Virgil, just listening to his and Logan's antics. However, it wouldn’t do to impose more on Logan by falling asleep here. Plus, he still needed to touch base with Janus to be sure that he was settling into their communal hub smoothly. As soon as Logan finished bandaging his arm up again, he asked, "Alright, do I have clearance for takeoff, Doc?"
Logan dismissed the supplies and their remnants and took the empty glass from Patton. "From a strictly medical standpoint, I would not recommend flying any aircraft so soon after a wound like this due to the nature of the movements you would need to perform," he replied, flushing a bit at the end. "It occurs to me that may not be what you were asking about. If you meant is it okay to leave, then yes. There is no further treatment I can perform at the moment except ice for the bruises on your back.”
“No, it’s fine. I don’t wanna put you two out any more than I already have,” Patton sheepishly replied.
“Very well, then. I do suggest that, at very least, we accompany you to your room to be sure you don't further injure yourself in transit," Logan said.
"Seconded," added Virgil. "I can’t deal with a repeat of last time."
Patton shuddered a little remembering how he'd shattered all those years ago.
Logan nodded. "Let's go."
The two held Patton steady as they helped him off the table. It was a new experience walking through the threshold sideways like a crab, especially when Patton's legs were only just getting used to the idea of moving front to back. Still, despite the odd finagling through his and Logan's doors, Virgil and Logan safely escorted Patton to his own room.
"Alright, and let's lower him," Logan said, helping Virgil sit Patton on the bed, "and done. Great job, Virgil." Virgil just shyly scratched at his cheek, trying to hide a blush. "Patton, I believe your next course of action should be putting on some pajamas and settling into bed for the night. Where do you keep your pajamas?"
"Oh, um, you don't have to get me any, I can probably get my own jam-jams," Patton replied, attempting to get up from where he sat. Virgil and lingering vertigo quickly stopped him.
Logan huffed. "You're in no condition to do that right now. Now, where do you keep your pajamas?"
Patton deflated a little at his own inability to move. "Bottom drawer in the bathroom. Can't miss it," Patton replied. He survived encounters with Roman and Remus in the same day but couldn't even do this one insignificant thing for himself in the aftermath. How pathetic. And now, just like earlier, his family was having to scrape him off the sidewalk again and devote even more time to fixing him up.
Virgil nudged him gently. "Hey, don't look so down, Popstar. We're happy you're alive, you know," he said.
Patton looked up at Virgil. "I know, thanks Virge. I wanna be alive for all of you, too. I just hate that you two have had to waste so much time and energy on me."
"It's worth it," Virgil replied. "I don't know what I would've done if you kicked the bucket again."
Patton couldn't help but still feel a little guilty about everything. "I couldn't do that to you. I love you all too much to do it again." He smiled as he reminisced. "I love seeing your cute faces in the morning, when you're all still waking up. Every tired 'good morning' and every little yawny smile makes me so happy. And I love hearing the banter you and Roman and Logan get into, and seeing when you're really into your music, or when Logan is nose deep in studies that interest him, or when Roman gets in a creative fit," Patton replied, leaning against Virgil again. "I love you all so much, and I would do anything for you if it means I can see you all being happy and getting along."
"That was so cheesy I think I can smell it, Pat. But, uh, I appreciate that," said Virgil with a lopsided grin.
"I daresay you've proven that sentiment in the past twenty-four hours," Logan said, a cat t-shirt and blue pajama pants in hand. He set them down beside Patton and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And I daresay I have once again proven to be a valuable asset to this team."
"You're more than just a valuable asset to this team, Logan. You're an important part of this growing family," Patton said, resting his hand on top of Logan's.
Virgil went pale. "Wait, what? How? Who's joining?" he frantically asked.
Patton tensed in response. They still hadn't told him about what exactly happened since that first night. He was surprised Virgil didn't notice the change in the broom closet. Logan took over from here. "We can discuss this more tomorrow when Patton is feeling better. For now, let's all get some rest. It's already past midnight and we all need sleep," he said, motioning for Virgil to follow him to the door.
Virgil, still a little unnerved, got up and left the room with a curt little, "'Night, Pat."
"Goodnight, Virgil. Sweet dreams," Patton called after him.
Logan turned to Patton. "I trust you can dress yourself without assistance?" he asked.
Patton gently nodded. "Yeah, I uh, I should be able to handle that. Go get some sleep, Logan, you've earned it."
"Very well then. Goodnight. Try not to move your neck too much."
"Alright. Oh, um, before you go …"
Logan turned back. "Yes?"
Patton thumbed at his khakis. "Earlier, you looked like you noticed something about this," he said, gesturing to the cut on his neck.
"Ah, that. I was merely wondering how you managed to get more of Remus's essence on you. If that's all, then," Logan said, turning to leave. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, sweet dreams," Patton said as Logan closed the door behind him. He almost forgot about that part, but his burning cheeks didn’t. Holding his face in his hands, he let himself fall back on the bed. The tiredness hit him without warning as he slogged out of essence-stained khakis, and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.
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*sigh*
about the whole ‘do not ship real people. ever’ argument i’m gonna HAVE to say my piece on it and then i’m gonna shut up forever because i’ve heard it ALL and i just have to get all my thoughts out there even if no one reads them
i don’t know how else to explain i have never once ‘shipped’ something ever in my whole life. i have merely perceived and enthused over what EXISTS. like, correct me if i’m wrong, but....what would you ever get out of shipping two people who AREN’T actually together??? what is the point? you don’t get anything out of that; i mean, it sounds pretty exhausting and sad to look for proof where there is none. and they don’t get anything out of that. THAT is where it absolutely becomes gross and creepy and i have no respect for rps like that. septiplier is a PRIME example, where both people involved have gone on the record saying it destroys relationships because of course it does! why don’t people have any common sense! which is why my rule is to never let myself ‘ship’ something unless they are indisputably an item, and THAT’S where the cardinal rule of ‘don’t ship real people’ gets fuzzy.
i have been around the block in terms of rps HEAVILY with dan and phil. i have also engaged in a small way with joey and lauren(richpez) and reeve carney and eva noblezada from hadestown.(i have been correct in my assumptions[that they are in fact together] all three times so.....yeah, i kind of know what i’m on about) and from my well-versed experience, the essence and entertainment factor of rps is kind of the whole investigative nature? we become body language analysts and experts and stories resurface as do old tweets that when you put everything together, the natural conclusion(that yeah duh they’re obviously dating) would be super hard to ignore. and here is my thesis: shipping real people is fine as long as, 1. you have REALLY good reason to believe they are in fact in a relationship, to a point where it’s undeniable and 2. the speculation stays ONLINE, AWAY FROM THE PARTIES INVOLVED. both of these two coinciding statements have to be true for me to get behind it in any way.
anytime one of those rules are broken is when things get SUPER messy, and SUPER harmful SUPER fast. i’m gonna use dan and phil as an example again because i know what happened there the best. i’ve heard countless stories of people going right up to dan and asking who tops and who bottoms. there have been more than one instance of people going to meet and greets purely to corner them both and ask if they’re in a relationship. and props to dan and phil for putting themselves out there and risking...you know, those kind of interactions. because what the actual fuck. and yes, dan and phil are together, have been since 2009(and if you disagree i literally do not know how to explain that you are both blind and being willfully heteronormative), but that doesn’t give anyone the right to play an active part in it. witness it, sure. speculate with like minded individuals on tumblr? of course. but when you cross lines, and you KNOW you’re crossing lines..that is super, super uncomfortable for everyone involved. i do not disagree that that sort of thing is seriously stupid and harmful, which dan also confirmed in his coming out video that that sort of thing quite literally scarred him for life. just imagine how dehumanizing it would be, for people to perceive you as, not a person, but one half of a ship on the internet? and to feel entitled enough as to literally ask them about them it? gross. creepy. weird. 
BUT! youtube clip analysis posts on tumblr is NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING DISRESPECTUL. honestly, any posting on tumblr(again! AWAY from the parties involved) is NOT THE SAME THING. talking about them in youtube or tiktok comment sections, not the same thing. and i’m talking about specific ships here, LIKE cockles, because they are what prompted this post from me. 
i am not saying you have to agree with those type of posts, but like...just leave them alone? maybe? and if you call me crazy, i’m gonna laugh at you, because i know what i’m talking about and i could blow your mind.
to go even further, and i’ll use my two comfort couples as examples: on some level(WITH COUPLES THAT ACTUALLY EXIST), they probably, definitely appreciate being shipped. think about it. not the invasive aspects of it, like asking about what they do in private and investigating their addresses so you could maybe stalk them(which has happened and i think larry stylinson got it worse? i’m avoiding that whole thing because it sounds like an otherworldly mess). i’m talking the best part of it, which is seeing and sharing clips of them looking at each other and saying ‘they look so in love here’. both of my couples have terms coined after these types of things...’heart eyes howell’ ‘love eyes lester’ and the ‘unicorn laugh’ all come to mind.(misha doesn’t have a term but boy does he have the expressions) i mean, if you were in a relationship, and people saw how happy you were, and just like, basked in that happiness online, that’s kind of beautiful, no? i would want that. 
and about my actual post where people are like ‘go outside. stop shipping real people this is crazy’ ...does my posting about an interview answer jensen gave in 2016 seriously hurt anyone in any way? really? maybe,,,,don’t interact with posts that aren’t to your own personal taste? again, jensen literally SAID THOSE THINGS. jensen and misha SAY CRAZY THINGS LIKE THAT. they SHARE ANNIVERSARY POSTS. THEY MAKE JOKES ABOUT THEM HAVING SEX 24/7. THEY ARE PUTTING A GUN TO OUR HEADS AND FORCING US TO WITNESS THEM. jensen SAID that answer because that’s the furthest he can go without completely outing himself as a bi, poly man and i’m simply seeing that and reacting to it, just like he wants me to. i don’t feel wrong or weird for any analysis posts when it comes to them because they are actively egging us on and actually do want us to know. so. 
i guess i’m ranting because i resent being called, like, a crazy shipper fangirl or something. i am not crazy. or stupid. and i have a brain and would never cross any lines. and maybe consider why ships like cockles and phan gained so much traction in the first place. maybe consider we’re not reaching and never have been. on that note, maybe consider why DESTIEL gained so much traction when tptb never intended for it to happen. ...
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scionofchaos · 4 years ago
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Celtic Paganism, Wands, and Magic Symbols
I have spoken at length with my sister, a Celtic Pagan who aligns strongly with Brighid, about her use of wands in her practice. While I have yet to seek out a wand for myself, I have begun to understand the cultural ties and the reasons why incorporating a wand is valuable.
The first written reference to magic wands comes from Homer, who depicted Hermes, Athena, and Circe as having them. According to one source I have read, many occult practices draw their use of wands from a common root -- the Oathbound Book of Honorius. Also known as the Sworn Book of Honorius, Liber Juratus Honorii, or Liber Sacer, it is a medieval grimoire purportedly written by one Honorius of Thebes. The book is supposedly the product of a conference of magicians who condensed all of their knowledge into one volume, ranging from escaping a fate in the afterlife, to seeking justice or wealth, to conjuration of demons, among other workings. Many ideas from the Oathbound Book were incorporated into the Key of Solomon three centuries later. The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn got their ritual objects -- dagger, sword, pentacle, and cup -- from Eliphas Levi, who in turn used the information found in the Key of Solomon, as well as the Tarot. The Order used several different wands for different purposes, while in Wicca, wands are traditionally used for summoning and control. Whereas the athame is used to command, the wand is inviting and encouraging. Raymond Buckland's knowledge -- drawn from the Golden Dawn -- suggested that the wand was a fire element, though it is usually thought to represent air. In my practice, I associate wands with air, and the athame with fire.
Now that you have that context, let me talk about wands from my point of view. First of all, they have to be wood. A metal "wand" is an athame at best, and a needle at worst. A plastic "wand," or other synthetic materials, is flouting your materialism and association with consumerist society. Now, barring the possibility you have a phoenix feather, unicorn horn, or whatever, nothing physical you could infuse into your wand is going to make a difference. Bit of Harry Potter humor there. Simply put, a wand is made of wood. Now, why is that a problem for me? I am Fire. In an elemental sense, I am comprised of Psychic essence and the metaphysical flame. I can't use a wand the way other people can. It is more beneficial for me to harness vital essence, to harness the wind, by moving myself and my spiritual being through the open air. No wand or staff necessary. I will feed on the air, and use its power through myself to alter the rest. Unlike the other classical implements, wands and I have a bad rapport. Now, when DO I use a staff? Like many people, I use them when walking, when hiking through rough terrain. So if anything, I use it as an Earth implement.
I possess two unsanctified pocket knives, and one sacred sword. In origin, it is just a silly display sword with a crossguard and pommel utterly ill-suited for use, and a blade that cannot cut. But it was a gift from my Ancient love brought back through the ages, and I have treated it with reverence I give to no one and nothing else. It is a powerful source of and focus of Psychic essence, for me and me only. I keep it in a high place where it is not to be toyed with by visitors, positioned next to one of my father's guns (also for display and unused), to further communicate that it is a weapon and it is powerful. The athame is aligned with Fire, as am I, so this blade is very key to my work. I can call upon variants of its essence from anywhere in this world. Naturally, I am biased in favor of the athame, and believe everyone should have a good knife or sword. Wiccan practice also makes use of a boline for practical purposes, and I share the view that one should have one or more practical knives, and a sacred blade that is never used for material purposes.
I do not possess an amulet of any kind. I have not made an attempt to acquire one, and the material element is not a strength of mine. Perhaps I should get one. But the thing is, I was born without the sense of smell. Utterly useless to me. That sense is elementally assigned to Earth, to the Physical essence. I have also lost my gallbladder, which TCM associates with the Earth element. You can start to see why I have a strange relationship with Pentacles. Whether someone else chooses to use one...I honestly have no opinion.
Finally, we have the Cup. I do not have a sacred cup or bowl, and probably should get one. Consider that it is tied to Water, my antithesis, and realize that I would be very selective about incorporating one into my home. Now, Water is a sister to me. Not an enemy. Despite that, our powers are anathema to each other; I boil Water and cast it to the air; Water extinguishes me. Ritually, my "bowl" is my bathtub. When taking a shower, I focus on spiritual cleansing as well, of weakening myself to pay for physical and spiritual wellness. When I absolutely have to cool down and unload, I actually fill the bath and submerge fully in it. For more traditional purposes, I have no designated tool for the Water element, and do not use something in that appropriate way. For sensory work, I either work without a tool, or make use of the horizon as a focus. For spiritual growth, I instead feed my internal Fire with material food; education and obsession; or psychically joining my material counterpart in its consumption of wood. Should you use a Cup? I could care less. If it means something to you and does something for you, go for it. If not, it is a useless implement you can do without.
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hazbinextgeneration · 3 years ago
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Into The Casino Ch3
The usual hussle n bussle of the casino made it's way around the duo as they made their way around the place. The more taller one of the two was carefully sweeping his red eyes over the crowd searching for one certain lost pup. Or should I say horse. "Are you certain you left her here?" He gave a raised brow at the cyborg who nodded. "Yeah. She was right here-" she gestured to the floor as they walked. ''-all soak 'n wet and hungrier than Disease on a hangover." He hummed and gave another turn of his head over the ever loud herd of demons. An opportunity like this shouldn't be wasted, and he certainly wasn't about to miss out on it either. It was one thing to be a rich and powerful tyrant over a small territory, but it was a whole other thing if one had something so pure and....interesting under their hold. Considering what Cyber told him about she had said...Who just claims to be sent down against their will by a god? This was too good to just let go. He knew there was something about this situation worth investigating. He turned left and stopped- Almost causing Cyber to walk into him. She gave him a confused sideways glance just as one of those curled smiles formed on his face, and his body maneuvered to the right.
"It seems-" He smirked at the sight of the pale blonde and white mass of hair and the horn sticking up from it standing in the corner of the slot machine corner. She would've been hard to spot at first if you didn't look hard enough like he was, luckily he's always had a nack for finding grand opportunities. "I've found our little pet.~ Cyber, come along." He ordered her as he began walking straight towards the unsuspecting girl. Being the taller and owner of the casino, it was fairly easy for them to maneuver through the crowd and over towards the corner of noisy machines. She didn't seem to notice them at first as she was giving the machine closest to her a curious look at the pictures spun around again, she was probably wondering how they even worked, until her ear raised and her head turned towards them. Instantly she stood up in instinct to bolt but instead ended up just freezing on the spot when she spotted the smaller demon. Maybe it was because she recognized Cyber or the fact that 2 demons were standing between her and the exit, but she didn't move when they came to stand in front of her. Her face was frozen in a state of uncertainty and scared curiousity. "Greetings.~ Apologies for the sudden intrusion, '' He held out a red clawed hand out to her and smiled ''-but I couldn't help but find the story you told Cyber here-" He quickly nodded towards her "-very interesting." She didn't say anything and just glanced between the two.....Before a sudden look of realization came over her. Then sudden regret as she stared at him. "You...Oh my god! I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean t-to.." Her stomach sank as she realized exactly who was actually talking to her. She knew tripping up would cause later problem. She went to apologize again but he cut her off when he held up his hand. "If it's about the tail stepping incident, then you have nothing to worry about. Everyone makes mistakes. That's why we're all down here after all." He chuckled making her give a confused look before bringing his hand back to examine his red claws. "Actually I'm quite happy you did. I probably wouldn't have seen you otherwise." "If..y-you're not mad," she asked slowly shuffling back, ''-then why are you cornering me?" He raised a brow and gave her probably the most dark smirk she'd ever seen since-...Yeah. Better not bring that up. "I happen to be one to have an eye for great opportunities. And believe me when I say that I never miss a chance to better business-" "What does that have to do with me?" She backed up even more. There was no way she was going to become someone else's showpony. "I-I don't have anything on me." She gestured to her body's lack of pockets. New Plan. Make herself as less desirable as possible! "I don't have money, or anything valuable. Y-You're wasting your time-" "I think you're mistaken." He cut her off again and chuckled. "I'm not here to rob you, I'm here to offer you the chance of a lifetime.~" She stared blankly at him for what seemed like a full minute before saying the typical 'What?' he was expecting. He laughed and took a few steps towards her. "Maybe I should be more specific. You see-" An arm snaked around her and pulled her to his side as he spoke. She froze. "I usually never do this, but you are a very special exception.~ You see. I'm always on the look out for...useful and hardworking people for my business. And once I saw you..Heh. Well I knew you'd be useful to me in someway, and after what Cyber told me about your little run in with the Goddess Life-..." His smile curled at the ends as he began stepping, guiding her towards the stairs with Cyber in tow. "The Goddess of all plant life. Well that just sealed the deal for me. But what do think Ms.-...?" "A-..Amalfia," she squeaked out. She looked over her shoulder at Cyber but she just shrugged and nodded back at the taller demon. "I don't think I really know w-what you're t-talking about? W-What job?" He barked a laugh making her flinch. "Well, there's plenty of things you could do." He gazed up and rubbed two red claws together in thought. "Maid, cook, dishwasher-...Maybe a waitress? But I think I'm in need of a more....personal assistant-" "Personal assistant?" "Basically you'll be my everything and take care of things I don't have time to do. Taking care of my personal quarters and items, bringing me food- Do you know how to organize paperwork?" She was confused by this but nodded, one of the things she picked up on from being around a paper pushing father. "Excellent! I think you'll fit the role perfectly!" "So...Basically you want me as a secretary and personal house cleaner? Why wo-?" "I know this is quite out of the blue, but I assure you I pay very well.~" They finally stopped walking and stopped in front of the stairs as demons kept walking around them. "I think you would find the pay good." His arm unhooked from around her as he turned to stand in front of her. "And not just that. Three meals a day, clean clothes, a roof over your head, plenty of utensils at your disposal-...How about it?" She stood there gapping like a goldfish sputtering random squeaks and noises that sounded like almost words as the taller demon continued to stare at her. "If you have any doubts, you can ask Cyber any questions. All of my employees are satisfied with their pay." "I-I-....A-Absolutely n-" "Absolutely? Wonderful!" A hand grabbed hers as he shook her hand with that giant smile. "I assure that you'll find everything here to your delight. Cyber will show you to your new room and...Cyber." He looked behind her shoulder at the smaller demon. "Make sure she gets cleaned up and dry. Can't have my new employee coming down with the flu from that nasty rain now. Report back to me when she's all settled." The unicorn being gave them a blank look as Cyber gently grabbed her arm and began to lead her away from the taller demon. "Sure, Boss. C'mon. I have a nice room in mind for ya." ============================================= "I don't see why you had to interrupt me from my work. I thought you would have something better to do." The plant demon sighed and reached a hand up to rub his temples to rub at the already bad headache starting to form from trying to explain this situation again to her. Someone wrapped their arm around the frowning woman pulling her against his side with a purr. "Nah. He just wants some info, Honey.~ And we both know how much you love researching weird magic things." A hand pushed his face back a bit and he gave off a small growl. "That's true..." "She's not some new toy for you to dissect, Midnight." He scowled at her making his point perfectly clear. "I just want to know what I should expect from her." She gave off a huff and turned from the snake's hold to a shelf to the right. Her hand hovered over a few covers before stopping at one, pulling it out and giving it a quick look over, and blowing the dust off it. She paid no mind to the two males coughing and opened the book. Skimming through a couple pages before stopping and raising a brow. "Unicorn....Being of purity. Last known living one spotted in 1922. Rumored miracle maker with the spiraled horn on their heads which was also used by ancient medicine man and shamans to vanquish evil and ward off evil spirits. Their blood was known to be used in potions to increase their affects-" "Yes, yes," He pushed impatiently, "That's all very well. But is there any benefits for me keeping her under check." Her brow rose. "There's plenty of uses for her in here." She patted the book. "It even has a recipe for how to cook her meat to give someone immunity to fire-" "That's repulsive!" He made a disgusted face. "I don't plan on becoming a cannibal, or killing something that's worth more alive. Now what can I use to my advantage?" She groaned and looked back down to the pages. "..........Some ancient rulers were known to keep them as pets or tools for war. Their horns which were usually spiraled or curved were known to contain powerful magic similar to angelic essence which coursed through their entire being. This magic could easily be controlled by special collars but only be used if said creature was still alive and the horn was still intact to their heads." She looked back up at him. "Is this what you want?" He didn't talk for a moment and stood there. Thinking. What an opportunity.~ He smiled that dark smile of his before turning back to them. "Well. What an interesting new development.~ I think I found a more ideal purpose for our newest member.~" "Ooooh!~ Whatcha got planned Lou-y? Gonna chop off that pretty horn and use it for a paper weight?" He chuckled. "I think I have a more...useful idea in mind.~"
All characters besides Amalfia belongs to @palettepainter
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dmsden · 5 years ago
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An Undeath Worth Living - Can there be a good lich?
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Hullo, my dear readers. This week’s Question from a Denizen comes from graham-cheshir. They say, “Here's some asks on your ideas toward liches. How do you think one could become a lich without becoming evil? What kind of beings might offer the method of becoming a lich to mortals? And what means of fueling their phylactery could exist beyond feeding it souls? Curious what you come up with.”
I’m going to preface my article today by saying that I don’t like undead…at all. I mean, I love them as adversaries, because I feel that they’re villains through and through, and there’s no need for equivocation on it. I leave my tragic, pitiable vampires for White Wolf games and other styles of role-playing.
That being said, the idea of “Good” undead has existed for some-time. In earlier editions of D&D, there were entities in the Forgotten Realms called Arch-Liches. These creatures went through a process similar to a lich’s transformation and sacrificed themselves to an undead existence in order to protect and help people, rather than for selfish reasons. Likewise, there were the Undying ancestors of the Aerenal elves in Eberron. Whether they were good or not probably depends on how you think of things, but they certainly weren’t running around draining people’s souls and what not.
So let’s take the idea of an Arch-Lich and go with it. We will define an Arch-Lich as being something like a bodhisattva – someone who could move on to enlightenment but who makes the sacrifice and stay behind for the betterment of others. Perhaps they pledge to protect a bloodline, or a kingdom, or a holy relic, or a sacred site. Whatever their reason for staying, it must be one devoted to a good cause and not motivated by a selfish desire to continue their existence for their own sake. This is the only way I could imagine a lich-like creature not being evil.
Many beings might offer this arch-lich existence to mortals that they find worthy. Gods, especially gods of death, might assist in this process, as might their various angelic proxies. Very good beings such as holyphants, unicorns, couatls, and even ancient gold dragons might guard the secret. They will not offer it easily, and anyone who comes to them looking for the knowledge is likely to have to go through many tests and quests to prove their worth. But hey…that’s the kind of stuff campaigns are built around! Perhaps the one who seeks to be an Arch-Lich might even need to find and destroy a lich, bending its phylactery to their own needs.
Once the Arch-Lich takes its new form, you need to decide what fuels its phylactery, if anything. I think of the need to feed a phylactery souls to be a by-product of the very selfish nature of a normal Lich. They are stealing lives from others to fuel their own, and this is represented by the consuming of souls. If the gods of good want an Arch-Lich, it could be that they will imbue the undying champion of good with a touch of their own immortality, thus eliminating the need for anything to sustain them. In essence, they become like a messenger of those gods, immortal and partly celestial.
Alternately, if you want there to be something the arch-lich has to do in order to prolong its existence, perhaps they need to do great and noble deeds. The doing of these actions sustains them – in essence their own legend becomes what fuels their phylactery. It could also be that the destruction of other undead, demons, devils, and other incredibly evil creatures feeds their phylactery in a way similar to the methods employed by more traditional liches. Whatever you decide, it should definitely reflect the more goodly nature of the Arch-Lich.
I hope you like my ideas, gc. If you use them in your campaign, let me know about it!
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formulatrash · 5 years ago
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Hi, I'm the 'are drivers relatable' anon. Thank you for your incredibly humanising and empathetic response. I suppose I could have phrased my question better, because what I really meant to ask would be, how far do they care about issues like income inequality, lgbt+ issues, that whole gamut. Because as much as some drivers seem like lovely people, it increasingly feels like I'm just waiting for them to screw up, in an environment that actively excuses such fuck-ups, which I can't ignore.
Hello,
I left this for ages - sorry. When I wrote the original answer I did think halfway through ‘I wonder if this is what they meant?’ and then like, ploughed on regardless. I am a constant joy and delight to my editors. 
Anyway, so. I would say all the drivers in Formula E (and using them cus I know them better than the F1 set) do care about that sort of stuff. If you asked them if LGBT people should have rights, children shouldn’t live in poverty, etc then yeah they’d be like “of course.” They’d also happily do charity work etc to support that.
For the majority of them, their analysis probably wouldn’t go much further than that. They see a UNICEF ad, they see the thing in it is bad, they want to help. They are aware about climate change to a higher degree, for the most part and think about it on a personal, ‘I can do things to meaningfully impact this’ level because obviously Formula E as a series involves a lot more thinking and educating about that, specifically.
Some of them then have broader and more in-depth political and social beliefs. The younger ones in particular are, like most young people, more willing to wear that on their sleeve and some drivers will openly and specifically support causes they believe in. Some of them are very educated on select issues and most of them are a lot more feminist than you’d necessarily expect. I’ve had drivers tell journalists who were being dicks to me to fuck off before, even when I wasn’t that bothered by it cus you get a bit numb to the whole thing but it obviously shocked them enough to speak up. 
They’re varying levels of wary about expressing political opinions. So they might be more educated on some things than they’d appear but they also know they’re, like, athletes and not always very well-practiced or able to express their views without looking contradictory or hypocritical. They haven’t had educations in communication or the same sort of discourse practice as a lot of us have had online.
So: do I think the majority of drivers are, in essence, pretty SJW-leaning? Yes. Some of them aren’t, of course - and some are openly sneering towards that. None of my lot, the worst is like, confused apathy but like; let us not forget Santino Ferrucci exists, with a career.
A lot of them don’t understand things like micro aggressions and I would say overall they are least aware about race issues because although the paddocks feel very international and multicultural they are fundamentally travelling white people circuses and very few of them will have met anyone who’s given that further analysis, whereas issues about women and LGBT people in motorsport are more prominent to them.That doesn’t mean they’re racist or that they couldn’t understand it, just that it’s probably one of the areas they’re more overall blind to. 
(not all of them, obviously but talking broadly over a spectrum of series)
Overall, most of them are kind. They want to do the right thing but haven’t always had time to think stuff through very far and are quite reactive in the way they approach social issues - they hear about something specific and want to do something about it, rather than a holistic, overall approach. That’s, to be honest, really normal in terms of most people .
There are definitely people in paddocks who are less that way. Again, not so much Formula E but we are the sparkly SJW unicorn series. I blame a lot of the media, if I am perfectly honest, for reinforcing limited and negative ways of discussing things - and also the class make up of motorsport which trends towards the very, very privileged. Who often aren’t so nice. 
So yeah idk. They’re not going to win a prize for devastating social insight but like, that’s not their job. They do think about things and the younger generations are much more aware. :pridelando: y’know. 
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