#it's probably going to be a while before i can get the actual file so here it is lol
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cuubism · 2 days ago
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Do It Scared
While he's in the middle of being overstimulated and miserable at a wedding, Dream's meager attempt at finding peace is disturbed by the intrusion of a drunk man from the party across the way. But what first seems like a curse might actually be a blessing, as his new companion is inordinately charmed by Dream, anxiety and all. [Explicit]
--
Dream cradles his glass of wine between his knees, scrunched up as small as possible on the bench outside the venue door. He should have brought his coat. He is freezing. But he can’t go back in. It’s too loud.
He takes another sip of wine. It doesn’t help him feel less fried. It doesn’t help him feel like less of a drag, less of a burden, any less than the worst company in the entire world.
He takes another sip.
It’s very cold. The music at the reception pounds through the doors behind him. He grimaces.
Sometimes, Dream wishes he could be the person who could enjoy it. And not the person he is.
He takes another sip.
The doors across the way crash open. There is another wedding going on this same night, Dream remembers. A man stumbles through the doors, jacket and tie askew, trips, spilling half his glass of wine, but rights himself just before falling.
Dream watches warily. He came out here to avoid interacting with others.
The man shakes himself, straightening his tie. He must be very drunk. Dream wishes he were, too.
Then the man catches sight of Dream moping on his bench. “Shit,” he says. “Sorry. Didn’t realize someone was already sobering up in this courtyard.” He tries to go back inside, but the door’s locked automatically behind him. “Fuck.”
Despite himself, Dream laughs. At least he is not the only one who feels an utter mess.
“Well, was a shit party anyway,” the man says to himself, before slumping down onto the bench across from Dream. “Can I share your courtyard?”
“If you don’t mind me ignoring you,” Dream says.
The man laughs. “Fair enough.”
He sips his wine, what’s left of it. Closer, now, Dream takes in the dishevelment of his hair, and the red tinge to his eyes that suggests he might have been crying. Dream is curious, but doesn’t ask.
“Feels like weddings are supposed to be happy,” the man muses, more to himself than to Dream. He wipes at his eyes. “But.”
“I primarily find them overstimulating,” Dream says. He really should be better company at his own brother’s wedding. But he’s never been very good at it.
“That why you’re outside?”
“When I’m overstimulated, I begin ‘behaving like a cunt’,” Dream says, and the other man laughs, startled. “So, yes.”
Dream can barely manage his social graces at the best of times. And the best of times these are not. The mask has been filed away.
“Alright,” says the other man. “Fair enough. I can’t judge. When I’m sad I start behaving like a narcissistic dickhead. Look, I’m even making someone else’s wedding about myself.”
“Why are you sad?” Dream asks. Weddings make him feel sad, too, but he thinks not for the same reasons.
“Was supposed to get married,” the man says. “Last year. She died. Sorry, don’t think I have the story in me tonight.”
Probably for the best, as Dream would hardly know how to go about responding to it. “I can see why weddings could be traumatic,” he says sagely.
The man smiles, though it’s sad. “Yup.”
He finishes his wine, then says, “It’s Hob, by the way.”
“Oh. Dream.”
“Dream,” Hob muses. “You don’t like weddings either?”
“My complaining will be far less justified than yours,” Dream warns.
“Let’s hear it, I could use any distraction.”
“It is not just weddings,” Dream says. “Social events. They remind me. Of all the ways I am deficient.” Conversation. Interaction. Posture. Occupying a physical space. Coping with stimuli. Relaxing enough to be normal. He cannot do any of it. “I ought to dance, and. Celebrate? Should I not? But. I cannot. I. I cannot do any of it.”
How many times has he been told that he should, and now it is like a one hundred foot wall that he cannot surmount, the years of compounded expectations too great to tackle.
“Do you want to?” Hob asks.
“I don’t know.” Dream can no longer disentangle who he is from who he was told to be. From who he should be. He is trying. But. “I want to… be a person who wants to. Who can. I wish that… I was a person who could dance freely but I. I cannot. I do not know why.”
He waits for Hob to tell him he should just do it. It doesn’t come. Instead he says, “Well, if you don’t dance, at least you can sleep easy knowing your Great Aunt Ethel didn’t watch you shaking it to ‘WAP’.”
Dream bursts out laughing, clutching his wine as the liquid sloshes in his glass.
“I’m just saying,” Hob says, grinning. “I mean, I’m shameless, but I don’t blame you for wanting to keep the twerking away from family eyes.”
“There has not been any TWERKING.”
“Maybe not from you, didn’t see what I was up to.”
“I see,” Dream says, trying to regain his dignity. “You are projecting on me.”
“Would feel better if it wasn’t just me who’s a slut, but oh well.” He takes a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, and a lighter. “Fag?”
“Sometimes.”
Hob stares at him. Dream stares back. Hob holds out a cigarette to him.
Dream looks down at it. “Oh.”
Hob snorts. “I like you.” He lights his own cigarette, sticking it between his teeth, then lights Dream’s.
“I’m poor company,” Dream says stiffly, embarrassed.
Hob shrugs. “Good company’s boring as fuck.”
Dream doesn’t smoke, so he just watches Hob. His hands tucking the lighter away, then taking the cigarette from between his teeth, blowing a stream of smoke away into the night.
“Why do you smoke?” he asks.
Hob shrugs again. “Get restless. Settles my hands.”
“You ought to try fidget toys instead to avoid the risk of lung cancer,” Dream says, and Hob laughs so loud that he doubles over coughing after inhaling too much smoke.
Dream takes a tangle toy out of his bag and hands it to him. Hob stares at it incredulously. Then takes it.
He immediately starts fidgeting with it, though, so Dream considers it a win.
“What else you got in there?” Hob asks, gesturing to Dream’s bag.
Altogether too much, according to everyone he has spoken to. “Medication. Headphones. A book, though I’ve felt it might be considered rude to read it.”
Hob laughs. “Maybe. But who cares. Go on and read it if you want, I won’t judge.”
“I—“ Dream realizes abruptly that he had been about to say he was enjoying talking to Hob instead. When did that happen? That is not like him, normally he is so paralyzed by fear and confusion that every social interaction is draining in the extreme.
“I. I like. Talking to you,” he admits, grateful that the darkness hides his blush.
Hob smiles. “Me, too. Hey. Will you be missed if we get the fuck out of here?”
“So you know how long you have to dispose of my corpse?”
“My young life is too promising to be spent in prison,” Hob says, winking. “Got to make sure there’s no witnesses.”
“I doubt my absence would be noted while the bar remains open,” Dream says wearily.
Hob stands, swaying slightly, leaving his empty wine glass aside. He holds out a gallant hand to Dream.
“Come along, darling.”
So often when Dream has been called things like Darling, Sweetheart by others it has felt patronizing. But with Hob it’s… nice. Somehow. Then again, he feels Hob may be quite drunk still and may very well regret his choice of company later.
Still, Dream takes his hand.
“I do hope you don’t simply plan to take us to another bar,” he says as they make their way through the venue, retrieving Dream’s coat. “I do not think my stomach could take it.”
“Nah. Drinking doesn’t help with the sadness,” says Hob with a wan smile, helping Dream into his coat. “No. You said you were overstimulated, so a bar doesn’t really feel like the atmosphere anyway, does it?”
Dream stares at him, speechless. Hob had… actually listened to that. And not simply discounted it as nonsense.
“Am I wrong?” Hob says, when Dream is silent.
Dream clears his throat, feeling overcome. “No,” he says, at length. “Not at all.”
Hob smiles and takes his arm. And they leave the noise and merriment behind them.
-
They end up just walking along the riverside in the dark. Hob lights another cigarette—Dream will have to keep trying with the fidget toys—and Dream watches the embers flare in the dark.
“I didn’t dance much at that wedding either,” Hob says, looping back around to their previous conversation topic. “Eleanor—that’s my fiancee who died—used to love it. Just makes me sad now.”
“Would you have had a big wedding?” Dream asks.
“Small one. She wanted to use the money to go on an extravagant honeymoon instead. Said she wasn’t spending thousands of pounds feeding distant relatives mediocre steak when we could be in the Maldives instead.” He laughs.
Dream dislikes parties, and thinks this is an eminently reasonable position. “I can’t help but agree.”
Hob bumps their shoulders together, but says, “Never did get to go.”
Dream does not ask what happened, though he is curious. He does not think Hob wishes to discuss it.
“Guessing your reasons are different,” Hob says.
Dream thinks it through. “Dancing feels. Emotionally exposing. I don’t wish... to show so much of myself.” He feels tight and uncomfortable thinking about it, and wraps his arms around himself. “I know that may be foolish. And that no one cares as much as I do. I have heard it all before.”
The arguments, the convincing, the pressure, even well-meaning, serves only to make him feel more self-conscious.
He has thought, many times during their conversation, that Hob might do the same.
Hob shrugs. “Don’t have to convince me of your own feelings.”
Dream so often does have to that it has become an automatic impulse.
“I wish that it were easier,” he says, quieter. Every day, the same wish. I wish it was all easier. I wish I could just do it all normally. I wish I could. Exist. Without it being a constant trial. “That it was not all. So uncomfortable.”
“You’re not uncomfortable now, are you?”
“I am always uncomfortable,” Dream says. “But not because of you, specifically.”
“I can pretend you’re not here if it helps,” Hob says. “I don’t even see you.”
“Hob.”
Hob whirls around. “Who said that?”
Dream doubles over laughing. Hob is truly ridiculous. Dream still feels uncomfortable in his skin. But less so than he did at the reception, and that’s a start.
“Tell me honestly,” he says, when he’s straightened up. “Did you bring me out on this walk because you wanted to take me home and have sex with me?”
“Um. Would you be into it if I did?”
Dream thinks about it. It is extremely out of character for him to go home with a veritable stranger. But he likes Hob, and that is equally rare. “Maybe.”
Hob raises his hands in victory. “Not kicked to the curb yet! Thank God, I’m too emotionally fragile to be brutally rejected by you.”
“I do not think you are fragile.” In fact, he is quite charmed by Hob.
“You’d be surprised.” He seems content now, though. “Didn’t actually go to the wedding intending to pick up a cute boy. Just so you know. But I’m happy I have.”
Dream is finding himself happy about it, too, strangely enough. “Where do you live?”
“Oh, not too far. We’re heading that way. There’s a bus stop there, too, if you change your mind.”
Dream huffs a laugh, hands shoved in his coat pockets. He feels nervous at the prospect of going up to Hob’s flat. But excited, too. “You’re very considerate.”
“Just hedging my bets, really.”
Dream decides then that he will go home with Hob. He doesn’t know what will happen, if anything. But he wants to try. To be open to possibility, which he so often fails to be.
“I would like to see it,” he says.
“The bus stop?”
“Your home, Hob.”
“Oh.” Hob grins. “Good. Great. Um. Just around here.”
They eventually do make it to Hob’s building, and up the stairs to his third floor flat. Nerves ping and spin all through Dream’s body as Hob unlocks the door and lets them in. He has never been in this position before. He feels like he might be in a scene from a film, a stereotypical moment, except Dream has never been very good at knowing what comes next in the script. It’s hard to know what he is supposed to do.
He follows Hob into his flat. Lets Hob take his coat and hang it by the door, slips off his shoes. He’s wearing more formal clothes than he normally likes to, in deference to the dress code of the wedding, and feels uncomfortable, but to take anything else off would likely convey something he isn’t certain he’d like to convey. Or. Doesn’t know how to convey?
Hob takes off his own shoes, too, and leads him into the kitchen. Dream takes in everything about his flat, lived in and cozy, soft warm lighting that Dream appreciates. He never feels quite comfortable in other people’s spaces, but he likes it, he thinks.
“Do you want some tea or something?” Hob asks. Now, for the first time, he looks uncertain. He has the fidget toy in his hands again—he must have had it in his coat pocket—and is fiddling with it unconsciously.
“I—” Dream starts. Swallows hard, his throat dry. He takes a hesitant step closer to Hob. Heart pounding.
He doesn’t know why it is always so hard. It is not as though he is afraid of Hob. But he is afraid of… this moment. Of sharing it. Of Hob’s touch reminding him that he is here.
He tries so, so hard, every moment of his life, to forget that he is here, that he is part of things, tries to melt into the shadows, tries not to feel anything lest it all swallow him. People always try to draw him out and it only makes Dream want to cling to the shadows tighter to avoid being seen.
Hob didn’t try to pull him out. He just sat with him there, in the dark courtyard. He hasn’t even turned the lights on in the kitchen yet. There is only the pale yellow one on over the stove. There are still shadows. It feels safer. 
“I. I don’t want. Tea,” Dream manages. He steps in closer to Hob, and Hob lets him come, doesn’t lure him in, but lets him lure himself. Dream gets close enough that he can make out the rich brown of Hob’s eyes, the stubble starting to come in on his cheeks, his hair, messed and fallen from its low bun. He wonders what Hob sees in return, and then tries not to focus on it too much lest he get overwhelmed.
Hob’s hand comes to rest on his cheek, just above his pulse racing in his throat. “Are you afraid?” he asks, brow pinching in concern.
“Always,” Dream says, and rides the wave of it into a kiss.
If he’s going to feel like he’s shaking apart from adrenaline either way, then he might as well do so while kissing Hob. Hob makes a surprised sound against his mouth, but then takes Dream’s face between his hands and starts kissing him back.
His kiss is. Desperate. Hungry. Dream does not know how to be wanted like that. It’s terrifying. But his heart leaps. He wants. It’s so scary how much he wants. He doesn’t know how to be the one who wants.
He grabs hold of Hob’s wrists. Grounds himself, braces himself on Hob. Gasps for breath against Hob’s mouth. Leans into the burning touch of Hob’s hands. It’s all so much. It’s so much.
“I need to—” he gasps, pulling back, lips brushing Hob’s, “I need to. Relax.” A constant refrain for himself. Relax. Relax. You need to relax.
“Why?” says Hob. Dream is utterly overwhelmed and still Hob’s look upon him is all want. “I can handle a live wire.”
Is that what he is? Dream always thinks he is nothing. A ghost. A whisper. A thing consuming itself. But to Hob, he is light and danger and wild unpredictable energy. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. But he likes it better than being a ghost.
Hob’s hands fall to his hips. His thumbs stroke under Dream’s waistband, tug his shirt free, press warm to his skin. Dream shudders, heat rushing through him, starting to grow hard in his trousers, which do very little to conceal his arousal. Hob draws him close, presses their bodies together, and now he can feel Hob’s own erection against his hip.
It’s too much. Hob’s touch. Hob’s body. The air that crackles hot between them. How much he wants. Dream is actually physically shaking. His hands are trembling. The world is spinning. He actually might pass out, and he hates his mind so much.
Normally Dream would stop whatever he’s doing when he gets like this. But now the thought of having to stop is making him angry. And maybe he just needs to have it out with himself. If he needs to have a panic attack, if he needs to have a dizzy spell and faint, so be it, he’s tired of it.
“Easy,” Hob says, pulling back, taking his hands and squeezing. “God, you’re actually shaking.”
“I know.” He tries to calm the surge of anger. He knows better than to try to muscle himself into submission. He knows that fighting that electricity isn’t going to end well.
He tries to breathe. Imagines himself composed of frightened sparks. They aren’t going to go away, not tonight. But Dream knows how to survive them. He’s constructed his whole life into an elaborate grid to keep them from bursting. To keep from blowing the fragile circuit.
Just don’t be anxious. But they are a part of him. They are him. One can’t just switch off a bulb and still have its light. Just don’t be anxious. Just stop it. Just do it.
He thinks of Hob instead. I can handle a live wire.
Dream feels so tense he might start fracturing out of his body. He squeezes Hob’s hands to remind himself that he’s here.
“Can we. Take this somewhere,” he says, words measured, “that doesn’t require standing?”
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Hob asks. It is, Dream thinks, the first time tonight that Hob has questioned him on his feelings. Normally he gets pushback on everything he says, but from Hob, only this.
“I am just. Very anxious,” Dream admits. Hob looks as though he might say something concerned, so Dream says, “Can you trust when I say that none of this is your doing? This is simply how I am.”
“Okay,” Hob says, and Dream sighs at the easy acceptance. Hob runs his hand through Dream’s hair, down his neck and back to land low again on his waist. Dream’s skin prickles in an entirely different way. “I believe you.”
It is so easy for him. To not try to fix Dream before allowing him to want this. Hob doesn’t try to bring Dream down from his anxious peak, something that wouldn’t work anyway. He lets the current run through him.
It’s so easy Dream almost feels he doesn’t have to fix himself.
Hob brings him over to the couch, sits down and draws Dream into his lap. Dream straddles his thighs, breath shaking. He’s still trembling, but he doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to get up. He wants this, this singular, terrifying moment.
Hob unbuttons his shirt with steady hands. Helps him out of it. Dream undoes Hob’s tie, setting it aside, then unbuttons his dress shirt, gradually revealing the shape of his body, strong shoulders, broad chest, coarse hair. He presses his hands to Hob’s skin, mesmerized.
When he gets nervous, he starts to disappear, starts to distance himself from everything around him, but this time he tries very, very hard to stay present. “Touch me?” he asks.
Hob does, hands stroking up and down his sides; kisses the side of Dream’s neck, and his shoulder, and Dream tips his head back, shivering. He is still shaking, god damn him, but Hob seems to trust him, and doesn’t stop.
His hands go to Dream’s trousers, undo the button and zipper, and Dream freezes. It’s so much, to be seen, to be touched, all his senses flying around him in a whirlwind.
He’s hidden his face in Hob’s shoulder. Hob draws him back, kisses him lightly, says, “Try something?” and Dream nods, yes, yes anything, if anyone could direct the chaos of him, he thinks it would be Hob.
Hob takes his tie from where they’d left it aside on the couch, wraps it over Dream’s eyes, tying it at the back of his head. Dream ought to feel more nervous at having his senses blocked but instead everything goes quieter. He lets out a long breath of relief.
“Better?” Hob asks.
“Yes.” Somehow. Someway. It makes him feel less seen. Even though logically, he knows this does nothing to Hob’s ability to see him. Nevertheless. The panic of his body is quieter.
Perhaps when he trusts Hob more, if Hob even wants to see him again after this, he might ask Hob to block his hearing, too, let him forget about all of it and zero in on just the sensation of Hob touching him. For now, he hovers in the middling dark of being temporarily blinded, and listens to Hob’s voice in his ear.
Hob kisses his jaw, up along his neck, biting kisses that will leave marks. Dream clutches to him. He feels he can do little but hang on. Hob’s hands to go his trousers again, and he takes Dream out, holding him carefully. Dream’s breath catches. Hob’s hand is warm and sure as he starts to stroke him, just easy and slow, letting him warm up to the feeling of being touched.
It’s so much easier with his vision gone. It’s like he’s imagining all of this in his own mind, freed of the terrifying, brilliant knowledge of its reality. He can lean into Hob’s touch, gasp against Hob’s cheek as Hob strokes him. He may be starting to dissociate but it doesn’t feel scary, this time. It feels floaty and peaceful.
Hob doesn’t seem to mind taking the lead. He brings Dream’s body higher and higher. Dream hangs on, in the pleasant darkness, overwhelmed. Eventually he hears Hob undoing his own zipper, and his breath catches. Hob takes his hand, brings it down, wraps Dream’s fingers around his length.
Dream holds him gently, cheek pressed against Hob’s, breathing shallowly. Everything is heightened without his sight, every detail of Hob’s body, the precise weight of him in Dream’s hand, the heat of him, the slickness of pre-come at the tip. His heart thunders in his throat as he strokes Hob, as Hob’s hand wraps around his, shows him the rhythm at which he likes to be touched.
“You are so beautiful,” Hob says in his ear.
“I would say the same, but,” Dream says, and Hob laughs, delighted.
“Don’t have to say anything at all.”
He presses Dream closer by the small of his back, arching Dream’s spine, so Dream’s cock is rubbing against him. Wraps his hand around them both at once. Dream moans at the touch, the slide of his body against Hob’s stoking fire within him, so much more vivid than when he touches himself. He’d thought Hob would want… more of him, but this is good, this is comfortable, and safe.
Hob slips his hand under the waistband of Dream’s trousers, palming his ass, bringing him closer, closer. His grip is sure and possessive. Dream falls into his touch, his knowledge, his acceptance.
He’s getting close. He tucks his face into Hob’s shoulder, breathing hard. Hob must sense it, he strokes them harder, faster, crushing their bodies together.
Dream bites down hard on Hob’s shoulder as heat rushes through him, hips jerking into Hob’s hand, utterly overcome as his orgasm races through him. Hob yelps at the press of his teeth, but then laughs. He laughs so easily.
Dream is still floating but feels when Hob’s hips stutter and he comes, spend spilling over their hands. His chest heaves under Dream. Dream takes peace in the rhythm of his body. The strength, sweat, surety of him.
Dream comes back to himself, slowly. And immediate is the rush of embarrassment. How could he—
He kisses Hob’s shoulder where he’d pressed his teeth. “Sorry.”
Hob’s chest rumbles with laughter. He pets Dream’s hair. It feels delightful. Dream wants to lay his head down in his lap and have it never stop. “Don’t worry about it. Just surprised me, is all.” He whispers in Dream’s ear. “I’m more into it than you know.”
“Oh?” Dream is… intrigued.
“Mmhmm.” He nuzzles Dream’s cheek. “You liked the blindfold.”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.”
Dream wonders what’s going through his mind, though he expects, if he sticks around long enough, he will find out.
“Feel better?” Hob asks.
Dream is not so shivery now. Not so utterly keyed up. Electricity spent. “Yes.”
“Good.” He touches Dream’s belly, where his come had landed. “This is going to get uncomfortable quick. Come on.”
He helps Dream up. Unties the tie from around his eyes. Dream almost wishes he wouldn’t, but he doesn’t want to walk into a wall, so he allows it.
When it’s gone he’s met with Hob’s gaze on him, and it’s so indulgent and adoring that he immediately wants to hide away again, take back the blindfold, put on his shirt, before his heart races itself into a early grave. But Hob takes his face between his hands before he can turn away.
Words tumble from Dream’s lips before he can think them through. “Have you... been with anyone since your fiancee passed away?”
Hob’s expression turns sad, and Dream feels bad for asking. “Few one night stands here and there. Nothing that really mattered. But this.” He leans his forehead against Dream’s. “I don’t know, Dream. It feels like it matters.”
The words are like pure restoration washing through him. “I feel the same,” Dream says, with a breath of relief. Of course, he does not have one night stands to compare it to. This is not a thing he has historically done. But still, it feels significant. That he even wanted to feels significant. The way Hob handles him feels significant.
Hob smiles, and kisses him, soft, shallow, but sweet. Far too adoring, Dream thinks, for what he understands a one night stand to be. It utterly terrifies him. He leans into it anyway.
“Come on,” Hob says when they part. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Dream follows him, hand in hand, messy, exposed, ever-nervous, but strangely, at peace.
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jae-min · 8 months ago
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jaemin // 240504 The Dream Show 3 - POISON cr: mynanadayz
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thethingything · 6 months ago
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also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#emetophobia tw#the thing is one of the PDFs is actually specifically for us and has our name in the file name and has been edited to be the right info#but it's only for one specific thing while all the other information about what to expect is just generic stuff#which makes it even more confusing because it gives the impression that it's all specific to this surgery when it isn't#also it's 13 fucking PDFs and we're supposed to read through all of them#but I managed to skim over like 2 paragraphs from one of the generic ones before I started panicking so hard I nearly threw up#(I tried to read the others while already panicking and you can imagine how this went)#it would be nice if people could fucking communicate with us clearly about what's going on#instead of whatever the fuck this is because now we've had multiple instances of being confused as fuck because nobody explained shit#and also if medical professionals could actually fucking understand how medical trauma works and maybe work with us#to figure out how to make this less distressing so we don't have to keep dealing with panic attacks like this#we're not freaked out by the procedure itself. it's a bunch of the other stuff around it that probably doesn't seem like a huge deal#a lot of it feels very dehumanising and like we don't get a say in what people do to us#and there are lots of little things you can do to make us feel less like we're in control and less like we're being dehumanised#but nobody does that and they don't seem to get why certain stuff would be distressing#also the kind of panic attacks we have with this are ones where we don't seem to be able to calm ourselves down#we literally have to use the ''shove an ice cube/something really spicy in your mouth'' trick when we have them#because our brain will not fucking stop and then we spend the next couple of hours really dazed and struggling to process anything#and obviously I don't fucking want that to happen in a hospital because nobody is gonna handle that well#I'm concerned the nurses won't understand how dissociation works and will keep refusing to let us go home#because of us being really spaced out and woozy from the dissociation because they'll assume it's from the sedation instead#when going home would be the thing that would help us stop being so spaced out because we'd be leaving the triggering environment
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wonryllis · 1 month ago
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INTERRUPTING THEM WITH A KISS ✶ 𝒽𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇 & 𝒷𝖺𝖼𝗄
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﹙ ⌕ ﹚ 𝓅𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝗌 ㅤ𝑜𝑓. enhypen melting into you like it's a habit. contains fem!r, fluff, lots of kissing, pg 15. wc 1657, approximately 0.24k each. check out the d𝒾rectory? stat requested.
──────𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇.
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𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚
lee heeseung swears he's never found anyone or as a matter of fact, anything as annoying as you. you're like a roach up his ass, the bane of his existence. yet when he looks at your cherry stained lips as you crash into him outside the club— he can't deny: that the idea of them against his own doesn't seem half as bad. probably the alcohol, heeseung convinces himself.
"if you don't get off and at least a hundred feet away from me right now, i swea—" and your lips crash into his. intentionally, to get under his skin? accidentally, because of the shots? who cares! heeseung can literally feel the breath leave his lungs as you move your lips against his.
but you pull away before he can do anything,"shut up jer—" and it irks him for some god forbid reason, alcohol again? oh fuck the alcohol! imma kiss that attitude outta her. not even a fraction of second passes before heeseung is grabbing your jaw and pulling you back into a kiss.
you want to breathe? forget it. lee heeseung is not having it anymore. a chance to put you in your place, he's not letting it slip through his fingers. he does not want to.
"you shut up." the tendencies of an enemy with his deepest desires unknown to him; kissable lips on an enemy is the most sinful and irresistible thing ever. probably why you annoyed him.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚
jay's thighs feel warm against your own as you sit still on his lap, his legs shaking subtly while he rambles about some clothes. the tiny smear of vanilla ice cream near the corner of his lower lip, bothering you more and more with the seconds ticking by.
"and then i had to get the pants exchang—" you don't even realize it yourself when you lean in to capture his lips and lick at the sweetness. his own words dying down as he stares down at your face, completely dumbstruck. come on, that's your girlfriend idiot! kiss back! it's probably the twelfth time you both have kissed since you got together three months ago; it's not like he's keeping track of the kisses but... yeah you make him too nervous so, he is.
"b-baby..?" your hands cup his cheeks and he shuts down again. ears burning hot, and lips parted to let you do what you want. if there's one thing jay can't help, it's letting you have your way. whenever, wherever.
it takes him approximately ten seconds to overcome that nervousness and respond to the kiss. mouth closing in on your chocolate flavored lips in a soft and gentle smooch. after smooch. after smooch. the tendencies of a new boyfriend still reeling in; having the girlfriend of your dreams is not something you can get used to just like that.
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡
jake has been hanging out and around you for months now. it should have gotten easier by this time, he thinks. but no, every look, every conversation, every subtle touch feels like it burns hotter than the last time. are these the side effects of a crush? of getting closer to them? or of behaving normally after accidentally pecking? jake checks all the boxes.
"yeah so it's supposed to go like this. did you get i—" jake looks up from the project files on the desk, his voice and his life dropping down to his ass at the touch of your lips on his. what the hell is happening? are you actually? is he dreaming? jake cannot decide on what he should think. kiss back obviously! what's more to think?!
the kiss is short and sweet, and it doesn't satisfy him. hand immediately grabbing your throat to keep you from pulling away as he begins responding to the kiss. lips engulfing yours in a deeper and longer one, like it's the nth time you are kissing. like he's so used to it, like he's addicted?
“what— what was that?” jake pants out, somehow managing to pull away. his demeanor shifting drastically from the one that had just possessed him. the tendencies of a crush finally getting a taste; once you get hooked, there's no going back. not after a kiss uncalled for like that.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡
he has slept once with you, just once sunghoon reminds himself— grounds himself; for he feels way too obsessed with the thought of you for having only had you once in that way. is it normal? probably not. will he do something about it? probably not.
so he acts like normal, tries to. his hands in his pockets as he walks with you to his car, head hanging low even though his eyes keep stealing glances at you while he tells you about his upcoming tournaments. stopping to open the passenger seat door for you, still speaking of his fears of lack of perfectionism.
"there's still parts i need to work extra o—" but instead of getting right in, you get onto your tiptoes and pull him by his collar into a kiss. if a body can function with a disjointed heart, sunghoon swears it's him.
his heart skipping beats in a row and all of a sudden feeling like it's stopped entirely. yet his hands and lips move without a second thought, without waiting for even a millisecond. grabbing you by the back of your neck and kissing you right back, nibbles and suckles and tongue and everything.
"you'll do well, don't worry too much," the tendencies of a one night stand turned friend; it's probably not the best idea to become buddies with someone you slept with, especially if you want more.
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗪𝗢𝗢
the hallways are crowded as always, loud and bustling, drowning out your and sunoo’s laughs and giggles. talking about anything and everything while you wait for another friend.
sunoo's known you for a few years now, not a lot but enough to know when something's up. “he didn't check it properly and then.. hey? are you oka—” and he notices it on your face a fraction of a moment before you pull him into an abrupt kiss— mid conversation.
frozen, nervous and confused. yet all he thinks is actually how uncannily decent it feels, almost encroaching a feeling way too good. “i’m so sorry sun. i told my ex we are dating and he looked our way when he passed by and i panicked—” sunoo shushes you all too quickly, regretting not having kissed back properly.
“i get it, we can pretend. i don't mind it,” he doesn't know what comes over him as he proposes the idea, but he definitely expects to get into situations like these. why? he has no clue. he just wants it.
“everything you need to do to convince him, i’m all in,” his gaze trails over your lips, leaning closer unintentionally. another kiss right in the middle of the hallway. the tendencies of a friend offering to help in a non friendly way; fake dating a friend you feel like you could possibly develop feelings for is like digging your own grave.
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡
four months, seventeen days, twelve hours and probably thirty-six minutes. jungwon’s counting with all he has. this relationship, or whatever is going on between you two; beyond friends and bordering lovers, is bugging him down to his core. it's eating away at him.
“you just called me your friend,” leaning against the elevator wall, hands in his pockets, jungwon tries to behave— be as nonchalant as he can. jealousy? what's that? look me in the eyes and tell me i'm just a friend look.. no he isn't looking at you like that. snap out of it yang jungwon!
“you really think i’m just a friend? after all that we have don—” two steps closer, bodies pressed, eyes locked and your kiss that shuts him up. oh to hell with being normal with you. your hands slide around the back of his neck and his words die down against your lips like kissing you is his second nature.
“boyfriend? you want that label?” the mumbles against his lips, the sound of your soft breaths and the taste of your lipbalm, it's like jungwon is high.
“again.” catching your lower lip between his in a languid nibble. he can't help but keep wanting to kiss you, the ding of the elevator drowned out behind all his thoughts of you. the tendancies of a situationship with obvious feelings; being friendzoned by your girlfriend-to-be gets you jealous, he'll admit it now.
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜
friends. friends. friends. riki chants internally, again and again. and again. poopy diaper, runny nose, screeching tantrums— he thinks everything unpleasant about you, everything he possibly can. childhood friends ripping each other's hair out, neighbours annoying each other across the bedroom windows, classmates snitching out on each other's crushes. everything that's just friends.
nothing more. never— impossible. riki soothes himself, his mind and heart still jumbling all around after your question earlier, ‘what if we kissed?’ disgusting! right? he's not sure if he's answering or questioning his sanity.
and though the conversation is stirred clear of the topic, both of you nestled on your bedroom floor talking about club applications; his eyes staring right at you, seeming as unfazed as ever, his psychological state is nowhere near willing to calm down.
“what do you think about the drama clu—” your lips don't last even a second on his, before he is pushing you away, like he's allergic to kisses.
“w-what are you doing!” riki exclaims, fingers rubbing over his mouth,”i told you earlier,” and then slowly reaching forward to brush them against yours as he leans back in, involuntarily he insists. “i know but this is, so weird.. i’m not supposed to like it,” soft mumbles and lips grazing. the tendencies of a lifelong friend crossing an improbable line. locking lips with your childhood friend just for a ‘what if’ is the worst plan ever, or maybe not so much.
taglist 。open! @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia @nxzz-skz @shawnyle @potato0579 @enhastolemyheart @ro-diaries @aaa-sia @enhabooks @criminalyun @oddracha @seochangbinnnnnnnnnnn @jayjw16enxp
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d3vilcvntz · 6 months ago
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silly little crush ♡
top male reader x bottom male character
he has a crush on you for months but feels like he have no chance with you because of your difference in personality. you were the outgoing and loud type of person who have lots of friends. he's basically the opposite of you, shy and can barely makes any friends. he admired you since the first time you approached him. you were just asking the directions to the building as you're new in this department, but something about that small interaction drives him crazy and he doesn't know why. he keeps ignoring these feelings as it's just a silly little crush and he'll probably move on from it later.
he was 2 years older than you, making him your senior so you did talk to him quite a lot after that because he have more knowledge than you. asking him how to do this and that, he's not complaining though. it's actually part of his day that he really looks forward to, even though he doesn't want to admit it.
you did tried to invite him to hang out sometimes but each times, he would just declined and said that he's busy. he's not actually, he just hate interacting with people, other than you of course. he would be down to hang out if it's just two of you though, but it will be weird for him to ask so he just wait for you to do it first. he just doesn't want to be seen as desperate
and the wait is worth it because you did ended up inviting him to hang out at your place. innocently asking him to teach you how to organise some files because you didn't know how to, which is not the main reason why you invited him over obviously. you actually knew about his feelings but keep it casual to see if he'll do anything about it. you taken a liking to him too since the day you got the job. he looks so cool doing his works that it made you wonder how he'll looks like in bed, getting ruined by you
you got bored waiting so why not make the first move ? he arrived at your place and both of you started talking about works as he helped you organised the files like you asked. you offered him to drink with you and get to know each other, i mean, you guys are coworkers after all but barely knows anything about one another. both of you were slowly getting drunks while sharing some personal stories
honestly, it's your first time seeing him this talkative. he's usually quiet in the office. he's so cute like this <3 the way he laughed everytime you make a joke, even though it's a lame one "i actually don't have that much friends so I don't really enjoy going to work everyday.. well that's until i met you" he said, taking another sip on his drink. you were shocked at the sudden topic but just smiled at him, waiting for him to continue "you know..it's funny that i actually like you even though we barely know each other" he spoke again
you paused for a moment "is this a confession?" you teased him, looking at him directly "...what?...wait..wait! i didn't mean that way ! i mean.." he basically panicked, stuttering on his words, face flushed "im sorry..im sorry... i must have creep you out.. i just-" before he can even finish his sentence, you gave him a kiss on the lips, a quick one
he was shocked and quickly backed away, there's a lot he wanted to say and ask but he didn't know why he feels like all of it just got stuck in his throat "i like you too" you told him, getting closer to him. that just answered all of his questions. "the feelings are mutuals then?" you asked him, giving a little smile. he feels like he's about to burst
both of you were in your bed now, you pushed him down, making him lay on it "can i?" you asked, fingers fiddling with his buttons which he responded with a simple yes. you unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his body to you. he's so pretty ♡
his hands grabbed on your shirt, basically asking you to take it off too. you slide your hand in his pants, teasing his cock. he moans so sweetly in your ear <3 you want to hear more of it, no, you need to hear more of it. slowly pulling off his pants and underwear, pouring lube all over your fingers and sliding one of it inside him
you're trying your best to take it slow and make it enjoyable for both of you. you added more fingers as time went by, getting him all stretched out and ready for you
you were trying to grab the condom by your bedside before he stopped you, eyes avoiding yours "we don't need that..it's okay if it's you" he whispered softly. shit, don't think you can't even control yourself anymore if he's this cute !
pushing your cock into him, watching how his hole swallowed you up. thrusting into him with a slow pace to get him used to it. his hands gripping the sheets, soft moans filling up the room. you began to pick up the pace and thrust deeper into him, chasing your own orgasm as well as his
you both came soon after, holding onto each other. you laid beside him with your cock still inside him as you whispered nothing but sweets into his ear, calming him down from his high
you slowly pulled out your cock, earning cute whimpers from him "no...it's gonna leak out" he said so sweetly, shoving his fingers inside his hole to keep your cum inside
it takes everything in you to not just do another round but you wanted to be gentle as this is his first time after all <3 you stood up from the bed to prepare the bath for both of you, trying to distract yourself. you have to clean it all up after all, don't want to sleep all sweaty and sticky
sitting in the bathtub together, cuddling with him between your legs as he leaned onto your chest "this is like a dream to me" he suddenly said, looking up at you with a soft smile. ah, this might be the best day in your life <3
a/n: this is so normal compared to my other works lmfao
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wonderjanga · 18 days ago
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I am not a Father
This is based off @elvesandlanterns’s report of this post.
When Flash, told Bruce and literally everyone else about the photo, Bruce immediately wanted to see it. Why? Because if he could see it, he might be able to identify who this Freddy character is. If he identifies this Freddy, he could identify Marvel’s civilian counterpart. So, that was just what he did, or rather made Tim do.
Robin!Tim: “Hey, Junior?”
Junior: “Yeah?”
Robin!Tim: “Can I see that photo of Marvel and your dad?”
Junior: “Uh… Why? Also, again, Freddy’s not my dad.”
Robin!Tim: “It’s pretty obvious he is, man.”
Junior: “No, it’s not. You also still haven’t answered why.”
Robin!Tim: “I wanna see it because I’m curious about baby Marvel and baby Freddy.”
Junior: “Neither of them are babies though?”
Robin!Tim: “I’ll give you twenty bucks if I can see the photo.”
Junior: “Deal.” *fishes it out of his pocket dimension and hands it to him before taking the twenty bucks from Tim*
It was just a quick look for whatever reason, right? Thats why Freddy thought nothing of it, especially when offered the twenty. They could have groceries for months with this bill! They might even be able to get a treat for themselves with it. Billy’s birthday was coming up, maybe he could get him a cake? Or some fast food? Or a present? Maybe the Bulletman action figure he saw Billy eyeing in a store window? He wanted to get him something, he knew that.
Anyways, Tim guiltily snapped a couple pictures, feeling bad about going behind his friends back, and then sent them to Bruce a few minutes after handing the photo back to Junior.
Bruce immediately got to work, trying to match a names to the faces. He ended up having to switch to paper files and break into the city hall in Fawcett because neither boy would come up in an online database. That’s how he found Frederick Christopher Freeman and William Joseph Batson. Born in 1932 and 1933 respectively. Both Orphans. Both were likely on the streets after being orphaned. No known death date which suggests they could be alive, though it’s unlikely considering they’d be in their nineties and the asbestos in this town would’ve gotten to them already.
Though, considering that Marvel is still alive and young, this could paint a not so nice picture. Could Fredrick have grown old and died while Marvel had stayed young? Is that why he had the look of horror when he was mentioned? Is Fredrick actually Junior’s father? They certainly do look similar. It would also make sense as to why Cap was raising Junior. If this was his friend’s kid, he probably wouldn’t want him on the streets. But then how does Junior have Marvel’s powers? Can Marvel give powers willy-nilly? So many questions yet no answers.
Thankfully, he came across a news channel clip of Marvel saying that his powers were genetic. Billy made that up on the spot, not that Bruce would know.
Okay? So they are related, but how? Does that mean Junior is Marvel and Fredrick’s child? Lord, was Flash actually right about Fredrick and Marvel dating at some point? Wait, but if Junior is actually their kid, how was he born? Surrogacy? William- it’s strange to call the Captain that- has a sister, but she was pronounced dead. As for Fredrick, he had a brother but that’s it. They could’ve gotten someone random maybe? But then how would the kid look like Fredrick but have the Captain’s powers, was it magic? Can you do that? Can you have a magic pregnancy?? Bruce is falling down the rabbit hole and he can’t stop himself.
Eventually, he just went up to the pair and asked them directly.
Junior and Marvel: *talking*
Batman: “Captain? Could I ask you something?
Marvel: “Of course! What is it?”
Batman: “I…” *looks at Freddy for like three seconds before looking back to Marvel*
Marvel: *smiling*
Batman: “Is Junior yours and Fredrick Freeman’s biological son?”
Bruce has never heard a louder silence in his life. A clueless confusion could slowly be seen crossing Marvel’s face.
Marvel: “Wha-”
Junior: “Yup.” *nods his head*
Marvel: *looks over to him with the same horrified expression*
Batman: “Now, Marvel, there’s no need to look like that.” *reaches up to put and hand on Marvel’s shoulder* “Here at the Justice League we accept members of any race, religion, color, or sexual orientation.”
With that Batman left Billy and Freddy there. Billy’s jaw was already dropped, and as soon as Batman was out of sight, Freddy’s jaw dropped too.
Later…
Billy: “I can’t believe you said that!”
Freddy: “Dude, would you have rather wanted to explain that we’re two kids who got powers and decided to fight crime?”
Billy: “…No.”
Freddy: “That’s what I thought. Now here, take this.” *hands Billy a Bulletman action figure*
Billy: “What?!” *jaw drops* “Freddy where’d you get this?!”
Freddy: “I bought it, duh.”
Billy: “This is awesome!” *hugs the life out of Freddy*
Btw for this to work, somehow no one knows about the time bubble.
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biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer · 8 months ago
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since we agreed to be wingmen, may i please request some relationship HCs for my pretty boy, Sol? thank you, ILY ♡ i really appreciate you!!
Insatiable (Sol x MC/Reader - Relationship HCs)
Anon, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. <33
I'm feeding you all well tonight. >:]
TW: Couple mentions of being railed but that's about it.
- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer
Insatiable: incapable of being satisfied : quenchless. had an insatiable desire for wealth.
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Sol had dreamed of being with you for years.
So when, after spending a long time cultivating the perfect words and personality, he would strike.
When you sat on his lap in the library, he was taking his all to not get rock-hard right then and there. Frankly, he was on the verge of fainting from how flushed he felt.
He can't wait for when he can have you on him every day and not just on his lap.
Over the course of him slowly developing a friendship with you, along with sabotaging Crowe behind the scenes, he learns everything about you. He doesn't have to rummage through old files or photos, he has you! In the flesh!
And he will use all that info to his advantage.
Gets you gifts all the time, small things he claims to have 'reminded him of you'.
Eventually asks you out after he takes you to a place with your favourite food.
You oblige, of course. How can you not? He's a delusional maniac who needs emerge- been an awesome friend to you! Plus he's hot.
When in a relationship with you, he is probably gonna show up at your residence (with permission this time!!!).
Will help you study whenever you ask for it and is actually excellent at teaching things to you.
Alas some of you choose to do other forms of exploring during that time smh
Will hold your hand if you allow it (he refuses to do anyth- a lot of things without your consent) iykyk
When in private? This man is all over and sometimes even inside you.
He's nibbling, suckling, caressing, biting, holding, hugging, kissing, railing you as much as possible.
With consent, of course.
He'd never do anything while you were, say, asleep. That'd be so naughty of him.
And he's a good boy for you, is he not?
He'll bark for you.
Sol will also cook for you. You don't have a choice, he wants to do this for you (he's good at it as well). Although...you do sometimes get weirdly sleepy after dinner.
If you get harassed by someone? They're going fucking missing.
If someone hits on you? Dead.
Someone hits you? Tortured, dead, mutilated.
Sol's a petty guy.
But is it so wrong to want his angel all to himself?
Due to the fact he's huge that's what she said and strong af, he def is the type to pick you up and take you places if you're too lazy or sore to walk, or to get something off of a high shelf.
Is 110% made for domesticity, this guy will do all the housework, also gives 'Acts of Service' vibes. (Yes I know he's all 5 but so what)
He also blushes really easily, so teasing him is an awesome form of entertainment...just. Try not to do it on the day before an event or school day.
Will bury his face into yours as much as he can, your scent calms him down.
Also will sleep however and wherever you want, he was born to be yours and to oblige every word that comes out of your gorgeous little mouth. <333
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eclipsedechoesofmywords · 2 months ago
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"Pick One Moment"
[Spencer Reid x fem!reader]
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Summary: A rough case in Dayton, Ohio brings unexpected emotions to the surface for you, forcing you to confront feelings you'd been hiding for years—feelings for Spencer Reid.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, moment of awkwardness
Word Count: 2.0k words
A/N: just based on the lyric 'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you...I love you' from the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra because it's been stuck in my head. I've been planning to write Spence for a while but I've been intimidated.
Staying professional in Dayton, Ohio proved to be a challenge.
It had been a rough case, but what case wasn't, right? Just have to wrap this one up and you can go back to your house and dog.
Okay, fine, this wasn't like most cases at all, not to you anyway. This one had hit particularly close to home. And you didn't like that one bit.
This made you more short-tempered than usual, even snapping at a witness. After a lengthy lecture from Hotch, I mean from the look on his face you would think you had insulted him, he had 'benched' you by having you go through old files that might be related to the UnSub.
Hey, at least you got to do it with Spencer.
After working with him for so many years, you grew quite fond of him. Too fond maybe.
You stared at him going through files with a speed that should not have been human. 20,000 words at a minute, and you thought you were a fast reader.
"Got anything yet, Boy Genius?" you asked, flipping the page of your own file.
He looked up at you. God those eyes...
"No. This one isn't even related to it." he dropped the file on the table.
"Didn't you read the entire thing?"
"Yes," he replied, "It was interesting."
"You find everything interesting."
"Not true," he protested.
You rubbed your eyes, sighing. "Sure, Spence."
He tilted his head at you, a look of concern on his face. Adorable.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
You considered lying, you had been doing that the entire time you had arrived in Dayton after all, but decided against it. "Not really."
"Is it about your family? I thought this case might bring up some bad memories."
You couldn't help but smile at how quickly he had gotten it. "Yeah, something like that."
"Can I help?"
"Can you make memories go poof?"
He actually seemed to ponder it. "No. I'm not sure why you would want to."
"You never wish that you could just forget the bad stuff?" You knew what he had been through, you had seen quite a bit of it.
His brows furrowed. "I don't like the idea of forgetting anything. I mean, Mom forgets enough so I remember for her too."
You realized your mistake and winced. "Spence... God, sorry."
"It's okay," he reassured you. "You're remembering a dark time in your life, it can be overwhelming. Also explains you snapping at the witness, with your nerves on edge."
"Yeah?" You grinned. "It was going to be Morgan but the asshole left before I could. So collateral damage."
He laughed. "He's outside if you want to insult him now. I don't want to be collateral damage too."
"You? Never."
"Never?"
"Never," you repeated.
Oh, how you loved his lopsided grins. "Thank you."
"Always." If you could pick one moment to live in forever, it probably would've been that one.
Minus JJ coming through the door right then. "We got something."
You wanted to throw a file at her. Instead, you get up with a heavy sigh. The sooner you get this done the better, you had to remember that.
~~~
The BAU was heading back to Washington tomorrow, so you could leave this far far behind. Finally. This case taking up two weeks of your life was enough.
You sat at a cafe next to the hotel where you were staying. It was a cozy little place with a mostly brown interior and warm lighting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the air.
You sipped your drink, feeling the cup's warmth in your hands. You had been coming here for the past few days and you had to admit, you would miss this place.
Just then, the door opened, and in walked someone you recognized, glancing around the room before spotting you. With a smile, Spencer made his way over, pulling out a chair across from you.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked.
You smiled back, gesturing to the seat. "Not at all."
He sat down and looked around. "So this is where you disappear to?"
You hummed in confirmation. "it's a nice place to think."
He stared at you for a while before nodding thoughtfully.
"What?" you sipped your coffee.
"Just... Are you feeling better?"
You shrugged. "Yeah, UnSubs behind bars. What more could I want?"
"Closure," he replied quietly.
You pressed your lips together tightly. "It's fine Spence. I'm alright with it."
"I don't think you are."
"Spencer," you said, a hint of warning in your voice, "You want to help, I get it. But not with this. Okay?"
It was an unspoken thing, the way Spencer always seemed to know when you needed space and when you needed someone to push just a little. He respected your boundaries, but there were moments—like this one—when his concern slipped through the cracks.
He sat across from you in that quiet cafe, watching you. You couldn’t tell if he was waiting for you to speak or if he was just giving you the time to process, as he always did.
It had been a rough case, yes, but that wasn’t why you were still here, staring into your coffee like it held all the answers.
Your eyes flickered up to meet his. He was still staring at you, quietly, as if he could see past your walls.
"Spence," you said, your voice quieter than you intended, "I’m fine. Really."
He didn’t respond immediately. His hand rested on the edge of the table, and you could see him fiddling with his fingers. That subtle nervousness he only ever seemed to show when he wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he needed to say something.
"I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. “I’ve seen you too many times to believe that everything’s okay, especially when it’s not. You’ve been holding it in, and I know that—"
"Spencer—" you started, but you were too late. He was already talking over you, his voice getting faster.
"Please. I just want to make sure you're alright, okay?" He sighed, his eyes briefly darting away before looking back at you. “I just... I care about you."
Everything felt very... loud. Too loud.
He looked at you expectantly, almost uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to make the first move.
You cleared your throat. God, you really hated moments like this, when everything inside you seemed to tremble at the prospect of just being honest.
His hand shifted on the table, and before you could stop it, you had reached out to touch his fingers. It was the smallest of gestures—barely noticeable—but it was enough.
For a long moment, you simply looked at each other, the conversation hanging in the air. There was so much unspoken between you, so much left unsaid. Maybe that was the problem.
Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out of you, quicker than you could catch them. "I love you."
Spencer's face went completely still, his eyes wide as he processed your confession.
You had not meant to say that. You didn’t. It was an accident. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to put that kind of pressure on this, on him, on whatever this was.
But the words had slipped out anyway. You stared at him, feeling the heat rise in your face, hoping the ground would swallow you up.
"Sorry-God, I'm sorry," you quickly got up and rushed out of the cafe.
He just sits there. Frozen.
If you could pick one moment to rewind, it would be this one.
Oh, you fucked up big time.
~~~
You had never been more ready to get home, but unfortunately, there was an hour and thirty minutes on the private plane. With him.
Usually, you would spend an entire flight, after a case well done, talking to Spence. But after yesterday? But not this time. Maybe not ever.
You could feel Spencer’s presence beside you, but he was quiet. So quiet. Not the usual playful banter, no sudden bursts of random trivia or observations. It was almost like he was giving you space... or maybe he was just too uncomfortable to say anything.
Your eyes flickered to him once, twice, each time hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. He was staring out the window, a far-off look in his eyes, his fingers curled loosely around a book in his lap. For a moment, you almost felt the pull to apologize again, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel obligated to comfort you. You had put your foot in it already. Now, it was time to ride this out and pray it didn't become permanently awkward.
But Spencer, as always, was unpredictable.
"You don’t have to apologize," he said, his voice quiet, but it still carried across the cabin, cutting through the engine's hum.
You stiffened, eyes fixed on your lap. Had you been that obvious?
"I wasn’t going to," you said, a little too defensively.
He didn’t respond right away. You could feel him looking at you, the weight of his gaze making you want to curl into yourself.
“You know I care about you, right?” He said it so gently, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.
You felt your chest tighten. Care about you. Those words. He was still speaking, still looking at you, but it was hard to focus on his words because everything was spinning around that one sentence.
"I do," you replied. You had to stop yourself from saying more—there was more you wanted to say, needed to say—but you couldn’t. Not yet. Not until you figured out where your head was at, where you both were at.
Spencer shifted in his seat. He didn’t look hurt, but there was something in the way he held himself. Maybe he was just holding back, afraid to push too hard, afraid of what that push might break.
You finally took a breath and turned to face him. He was still watching you, his expression a mix of concern and... something else. It was the something else that had you questioning everything.
"You don’t have to say anything," you added quickly, "I just...said something stupid. I didn’t mean to make things weird."
Spencer didn’t break his gaze, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Not his usual goofy grin, but something softer. More real. Something... intimate.
"It’s not weird," he said, his voice still quiet, "You’re not the only one who gets nervous around here, you know."
You blinked at him, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"
His smile flickered, a small laugh escaping him before he adjusted his posture and leaned back in his seat. He seemed less tense, more at ease, "I’m just saying... I’ve had my own share of... feelings. I just didn’t know how to... deal with them."
Your breath caught in your throat. Spencer had feelings? For you?
The question hovered between you like an unspoken truth, but it seemed too risky to ask outright. Instead, you glanced down at your hands, the heat rising in your face.
And then, finally, you said something else, the words coming out quieter than you intended: "Do you think... we can just... forget it happened?"
You almost expected him to shrug it off, to offer a playful remark about how awkward it was or how maybe you'd both laugh about it someday. But he didn’t do that.
"No," he said softly. "I think maybe... we should talk about it. When we’re ready."
Your heart fluttered. Was this... was this him telling you he was ready? That maybe he wanted to figure it out too? Or was this Spencer, as usual, just giving you a window to process everything at your own pace?
You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure of anything. But you couldn’t deny the weight of his words, the connection that had always been there and that seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together.
"I’m not great at talking about feelings," you admitted, looking over at him sheepishly.
Spencer chuckled softly, a breath of amusement. "Yeah, I’ve noticed."
You gave him a sidelong glance, your lips twitching into a reluctant grin. “Smartass.”
"Hey, you started it," he teased, finally breaking the tension just a little. "And I’ll finish it. But not right now. I think... we both need time to think."
You nodded slowly. He was right. You both needed time. The last thing either of you needed was to make rash decisions while emotions were still running high.
"You’re not mad?" You asked it before you could stop yourself, the doubt creeping in.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Spencer’s face was open and sincere.
"I don’t know. I just..." You didn’t finish your sentence. What was there to say? How could you explain the mess of emotions you were still trying to sort out?
He reached out across the seat, almost as if he was testing the waters, and placed a hand gently on yours. The touch was brief, but it sent a spark of warmth through you.
"I’m not mad," he said again, more firmly this time. "Not for that."
You were both quiet for the rest of the flight, but the silence between you felt different—more like an understanding, like a promise that when the time was right, you’d figure it out together.
It wasn't the one moment you would pick to stay in forever, but it was a moment you didn't mind being in for the rest of the flight.
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squiddy-god · 3 months ago
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can I request leona with an cat beastman bf, like once he's just sleeping somewhere and when he wakes up there's someone sleeping by his side – someone that wasn't there before.
so before they start dating, they become nap buddies. they always nap together, and once cat!bf starts to do the classic feline courtship (giving leona something he hunt, the classic cat bakery on his body and stuff like that) leona, as a big cat, ofc knows what's going on and reciprocates
now they're like the biggest haters of the entire nrc population but hey at least they love each other so they hate on people together, gossip together and do feline things together :)
( ruggie CANNOT stand their asses if he sees one more session of them cat bathing each other's hair he's gonna THROW UP )
tbf I just want an lion x housecat trope .......
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This is so great because i'm imaging like those super judgemental cats and yall just hate on everyone 
♥︎requests open ♥︎
Cw : reader is yuu but is also a beastman (interpret how you want), male/masc! Reader, everytime i write male/masc reader an angel gets it wings, yall are judgy in this lol
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I absolutely love the idea of just two cats in love, 
It 1000% started as you napping next to him because let's face it he knows the best napping locations 
At first hes so annoyed but eventually it reaches the understanding of both of you being napping buddies
Ruggie is just glad he has to deal with less of leonas attitude lmao, he's your problem now 
When you start dating its probably one of those things where in his head you have been dating for like 4 months now, but your like “what are we” 
The cat bakery biscuit machine is so real because i just imagine you napping in bed and out of nowhere you are making biscuits on him because mmmmm
I think he does the cat bap thing 
Bap bap bap 
Rolls his eyes every time you loudly proclaim that he cant nap without you but like,,,is the lie in the room with us 
I like to think that he pretends and rolls his eyes when you do like cat courtship stuff like dead birds on his doorstep lmao but he secretly loves it so much
Now i think leona is actually going to be the biggest culprit of the licking your hair 
And ruggie is so sick of it, if he sees this FREAK lean over to lick you one more time hes getting the spray bottle and he is USING it  
Ssk ssk ssk ssk type shit
While yall are cuddling this man HATES 
He is the next top hater at nrc, i fear to say but yall are hating on malleus 
Lizard boy is catching strays (hahaha get it) and he's not even there to defend himself 
And if you hate someone? Babe that is his ENEMY
Supportive hater king, like if you hate that person so dose he, no need to explain (but do because the gossip is hot and fresh) but he needs no reason to be a hater 
This isnt even black cat x orange cat, this is two of the most judgy black cat duos 
Like the black cat filing its claws like you just told the most hot tea this century 
Dare i say… BACK TO THE KITTY CAUSE HES KINDA PRETTY- I CANT STOP LOOKING AT HIS T-T-T-FACE
The worst is when you have the same lazy mischievous grin and everyone knows shit is about to go down
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siddyyyyyyyy · 4 months ago
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Rockstar Girlfriend
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Older!Damian Wayne x fem!Reader
wc: 3.7 K summary: You're Damian's girlfriend, and his family wants to visit your concert warnings: none, no y/n used, established relationship a/n: I often daydream about this scnenario, so here you go. divider from @super-marvel-dc , just the stuff I needed ! enjoy
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Tuning your guitar does get on your nerves on tours, especially right before you need to go on stage and the E-string seems to snap any moment. Your earpiece counts the few last beats down before the lights go off and you have to be on stage, finally getting the guitar tuned for the show. The supporting band got off stage a few mintues ago, hyping you and your bandmates up for the show, since you are the main act. This band is the most sweetest you‘ve ever met, even when they play a little softer music than you.
Just in time, you get to your mic stand and can only see some flashlights from phones in the crowd before you and your band play the first chord of the opening song. Ear-deafening shouts and cheers errupt from the crowd, having to focus on staying in the rythm, also to begin singing on the right time.
The lightshow of the stage gives the crowd an even more beautiful and energetic view, most of them singing along the first words of the song while some record with their phones. It seems like you‘re singing to a see of people, not able to recognise this many faces or even identify some with the lights flickering to the beat of the music, having to focus on multiple things at the same time anyway. But one thing is that you are sure of. It‘s that your boyfriend should be here, most likely somewhere in the front rows. As you continue to play and sing, you‘re intently watching the crowd on the first rows, trying to make out where he is. It is nearly impossible though, the lightshow making it less possible to actually recognise anyone from the stage.
You give up after a moment and focus on performing, jumping around lightly at the parts where you don‘t need to sing and can have fun. It seems like the viewers also have a lot of fun with your music, seeing some mosh-pits form further in the back and middle. You had trouble believing it at first when you saw people file out of the hall with your first few concerts, that there are some rowdy and elder people who enjoy your music. They‘re probably the same ones in the pit right now. Good thing Damian is probably at the front, he would‘ve seriously injured people on accident.
Your band is two songs in, but the set list still has twenty songs left, promising for a long night. Damian is indeed by the front rows, standing among other hardcore fans who seem too desperate for his taste. But who is he to judge, he tries to make it to every concert you guys announce and play near by. Always getting some kind of merch by the merch stands before the show, small stickers or patches, you name it; he has it.
During a more heavy song, you engange with the crowd as usual, telling them to part the crowd for the up-coming breakdown. Of course, the crowd does a good job at that, some people in the front and back just watching the show and crowd while the band continues to play.
The breakdown, the most heaviest part of the song, start playing and the people create a ‚Wall of Death‘, it looking satisfying from your view. Your bassist does most of the screaming vocals on the extra mic stand, getting to play the thrilling chords on your guitar while watching the crowd have fun.
Finally, you meet eyes with Damian. He grins proudly, wearing a shirt with your band logo on it. He gives you a thumbs up, seemingly proud and happy to support you on one of your bigger perfomances. Normally, you play at smaller stages, but the support band and your new support and love from fans made this possible to happen. It‘s a sight to see, knowing all these people like the stuff you‘re creating for your own enjoyment and actively support your band because they want more of your music.
You‘re halfway through your setlist now, not being nervous at all now as you get used to the feeling fairly quickly. It‘s always during the middle of the set when it is time for a small break, getting to drink some water while engaging with the crowd and entertaining them. And who would your bandmates be if they wouldn‘t mess around with the other mic while you talk, making the crowd laugh and record the interaction with your band. After the joksters finally lock in, it‘s time to perform the last half of the set list. The crowd really does give their best on having fun, never having seen so many mosh pits in one of your concerts before.
The show comes to an end, being sweaty and worn out after the perfomance but you can‘t leave without throwing some guitar picks and drumming sticks to the crowd, a lot of them being happy over it and catching them.
Lastly, you could finally leave for the backstage and into your private room to get unready and settle down into your own respective homes.
»Was your lovey-dovey boyfriend here again?« Your drummer asks while drying his hair off with a towel, always talking about your boyfriend as if he would take him from you. In a friendly, funny way, of course.
»Yeah, somewhere in the front row. Why?«
You answer back while taking off your make up in front of a mirror, glancing behind your shoulder at him.
»I just saw him too. Seemed like he was wearing our merch!«
He tells you excitedly with a big grin, making sure to get his hair dry from his sweat.
»Yeah, he definitely wore our merch.« You nod back as your face is bare again, walking over to your bag at the couch. Your bandmates seem to giggle and mostly joke a bit around with how cheesy your boyfriend is, being used to their shenanigans by now. You settle down on the couch for a moment, your feet and legs aching from standing and performing for almost an hour tonight, having been preparing and helping the technicians with setting up the lightshow and stage this afternoon, since you feel bad for them doing all this for your band.
Eventually, you make your way outside of the arena to meet your boyfriend, having your bag over your shoulder while the staff is taking care of the rest. He is standing by the back door, right where you walked out of, greeting him with a tight hug.
»God, I‘m sweaty, I probably stink so bad...«
Damian doesn‘t even budge and keeps you in his arms, a soft expression on his face.
»So what? You were amazing up there. As always.«
He shrugs and doesn‘t seem to want to let go of you yet, swaying together from side to side which makes you both smile at the other.
Damian walks you home, ending up carrying you once you mention about your feet hurting. There‘s something deeply affectionate in the way he holds and carries you in his arms, not leaving room for any arguments about it.
The night ends with him dropping you off by your home, exchanging some fleeting kisses before he is forced to leave for patrol with the others.
----
The Wayne Manor, 11:26 PM
»Are you not going to explain why you‘re late this time?« Bruce gruff voice calls out once Damian joins the rest on the rooftop, changed in his suit and ready to patrol finally.
»He was at his girlfriends concert. They had a show nearby today.« Tim snitches, making it short but also making Damian glare at him even harder.
»Is that true?«
His father questions again and awaits his answer, receiving a nod as Damian looks at him finally.
»Yes, I was at her show. Bought a shirt.«
Batman simply sighs out but doesn‘t seem annoyed by it for more than five seconds.
»Where was it this time?« He asks with rather more curiousity, making Damian state the name of the city, having driven back by train with you together to drop you off safely.
The conversation doesn‘t last long as they begin to patrol, Damian having a bit of trouble hearing at first, still used to the loud music from earlier. The patrol ends up being as usual, no serious troubles.
----
Next morning at the Manor seems to be chaotic once again, some voices coming from the kitchen while Bruce is sipping on a cup of coffee with a newsletter in hand.
»Why can‘t we ever join when you‘re going out with her? She‘s so nice and fun to talk to, it‘s unfair!«
Dick complains from the kitchen as he prepares some toast for himself, Damian sitting by the kitchen island with a cup of tea in hand.
»If you wouldn‘t try to disturb their dates, maybe he would have her come over more frequently.«
Tim counters as he is at the kitchen island as well, working at his laptop. The eldest son groans dramatically, defending himself from the obvious truth.
»I‘m not trying to disturb them, just trying to talk and see how it‘s going...«
»Definitely invading their privacy.«
It seems like Dick still wants to spend more time all together with you and the family, but it‘s clear that you don‘t have much time now with your small tour going on and them being vigilantes.
»I would also like to see her more often, but you‘ve got to understand she has her own duties, just like us.«
Alfred chimes in as he walks into the kitchen, preparing more tea as he talks. The discussion is interrupted as Bruce finally walks in, interrupting the complains of Dick and mean comments from Damian.
»Why don‘t we visit one of her concerts? We‘ve never been to one before.«
It is really bizarre for him to suggest something like this, especially since he seems to need to work a lot lately. Maybe he has finally gone mad?
At the silence he receives, he continues, seeing the bewildered looks from his children.
»I‘m simply saying we never saw her perform. It can‘t be that bad, can it?«
Cass, who just happens to stand by the door studies the others, not being against it herself. She raises her hand with a nod, seemingly agreeing with the idea. Damian notices, and the rest does as well, making Jason speak up finally.
»She does rock and metal, right?«
»Yes, but — «
Damian really doesn‘t want the rest to tag along to the next concert you give in town, knowing it will mostly be embarrassing and they will probably get spotted more easily by reporters or simple fans.
But before he could finish his sentence, everyone raises their hand lightly, even Alfred being okay with the idea.
»Are you kidding me?« He sighs out, being clearly overpowered as the plan is settled.
The Wayne‘s will be at your next concert.
----
Your bandmates almost freak out once you tell them the news, Damian having called you and sheepishly admitted it, claiming it‘s his fault. Clearly, no one is upset. Actually, everyone seems to be freaking out for all the good reasons.
Now it‘s time to prepare for the show this evening, mostly texting with Damian and finally getting to prepare after getting teased by your bandmates once more.
You watch people arrive by the parking lot, seeing how many people already are inside in the arena with some drinks in hand, the show beginning in about half an hour. But you can‘t watch for much longer, getting dragged to the backstage to tune your guitar and warm up for the show. The supporting band plays first just like before, hyping each other up again.
"Are you there already? Please warn them about the supporting band, don't want them to get confused."
You text to Damian, hoping they are at least in the parking lot already and ready to watch the show.
"We got here an hour ago, saved some seats. I'll tell them about it."
He responds back fairly quickly, making you assume they're in the front row if they got in so early. Time goes by and the show starts, the support band starting their 45 minutes set before you come on stage and play your own set list.
As the other times, the band starts with more softer songs, getting progressively more heavy, but still not as heavy as your songs. Bruce stays standing beside Damian, not used to rock shows, but he clearly respects it and is just here out of curiousity and wants to support his 'almost-daughter-in-law' in some way. Dick seems to enjoy himself, even when this isn't his usual type of music. He is mostly fascinated by the enthusiastic crowd and how popular your band seems to be, even when you're about nineteen by now. Perks of starting young, he guesses.
Jason seems to be rather unimpressed by the show, claiming he expected some heavier stuff. But this is just the supporting band anyway, so Damian doesn't mind arguing over the loud music. Cass and Tim simply watch, them both having informend themselves before joining the show tonight. But they do seem to be rather amused by some fans. The flashing lights from the lightshow seems to amaze Cass the most though, being almost captivated by how pretty the lights shine and work on stage.
Eventually, the band goes off stage, meeting your band backstage and tells you all about the Wayne family being there, having forgotten to tell them earlier about it.
Now that it's your turn to perform, you feel more nervous than at other times. Usually, you get nervous just before the show, but it fades once you get to play the first few chords and riffs, the cheering form the crowd spurring you on even more.
This time it's different and the bassist seems to notice of it. She walks up to you, trying to hype you up and give you some motivational words, but they do little to calm your nerves down. It's too late anyway, being called up on stage by the staff. You quickly hop on stage with the rest, lights being turned off and the anticiaption rises. Your heartbeat quickens in your chest, hearing the happy crowd even with your earpiece on. The first song starts to play, strumming the intro on your guitar while doing your best to focus on getting the notes right and not play too fast.
The lights turn back on once you start to sing, as usual confident and smooth. In the back of your head you are still thinking about Damians whole family being here, not able to ignore the heart pounding heavily in your ears while you perform. You curse yourself inwardly for still being nervy, hating how new this feels, even though it's nothing new at all.
Continuing with the show, the song progresses into more heavy riffs and up beat tempo, getting a rich mix of an energetic and hearty sound. You get a smooth transition onto the next song, pushing through your slight nervousness to perform the second song with even more passion. As there are less singing parts, you get to jump around the stage a little and let go of the skittish energy inside you. From another perspective, it just looks like you're having fun.
Jason seems more impressed now, furrowing his brows lightly as he bops his head along the music lightly. Dick seems to completely lose it though, jumping with the other fans along and getting lost in the crowd eventually. Bruce stays stoic, focussing his eyes on you as he watches how you perform. You seem more alive and vibrant on stage, never having really seen you this bouncy before. Often times, when you came over, you seemed to be just a little shy but very polite. Here, you still seem to be a good soul, but a lot less shy. And that in front of probably over six hundered people.
Playing and performing the songs seem to get easier with time, not able to focus your eyes on specific people in the crowd, but it's probably better this way. Finally, you reach the half of the set list, not being nervous or anxiuos anymore. Well, you are a bit nervous since your bandmates promised to not do any embarressing stuff on stage, not entirely trusting them though.
As soon as you had a few gulps of water, you get back on your spot in the middle of the stage, hand resting on your hip while the other holds you guitar by neck for the meantime. It's time to entertain the crowd.
»A round of applause for our vocalist and her breathtaking perfomance!«
Of course, your bassist said something before you with his own extra mic stand. Nevertheless, the crowd fires up the atmosphere, getting loud shouts and cheers from them. Cass has to put her hands over her ears from how loud it is, all the while Damian smirks proudly and claps cheerfully.
»Thank you! Did you have to embarrass me?« You finally speak into your own mic as you turn to face Marcus, the bassist, earning a few chuckles from the large crowd.
Meanwhile, Jason has to physically hold Dick back from screaming something along the lines of 'We love you!' and 'You're my favourite band!' to you and fluster you more.
»Okay, ignore these goofballs for now. I need you all to part the sea for the next song. Shit's about to get heavy.« You have actually forgotten that Damian's whole family is here, realising only a moment later and immediately search for them in the crowd. You spot them being located more by the right side of the crowd, but still fairly in the middle and at the front row. Dick waves at you, earning a sheepish smile from you before focussing back on the show.
The lights turn off again, getting a countdown and metronome in your earpiece once more as the large crowd does their work and parts into two. Bruce is very confused, not getting what's about to happen. While it's not too loud he decides to ask.
»What's this about, Damian?« He only receives a sly smile from his youngest son, hoping he gets an answer.
»Are you ready for a Wall of Death?« You exclaim through the mic, earning many cheers and shouts back. But you aren't satisfied and ask again, getting an even louder response. Now Bruce knows what it's called but he has absolute zero idea what's about to happen.
Jason knows though and makes sure Cass is not in the way, not wanting to see dead bodies. The lights switch to red as usual, matching the rythm of your song again while the fans wait for the breakdown to drop. The bassist, Marcus, does most of the singing — or vocal screaming — in the song, leaving you to jump around and play some nasty riffs.
The parted crowd immediatly rushes at eachother, the Wall of death happening. Bruce watches with light fascination, not keeping his eye off the people as if to make sure nothing goes wrong. Your band goes on though, the songs playing easily and with passion as the show goes on.
Jason seems to enjoy it more himself, headbanging more to the music while he watches you perform, and for once doesn't regret going out with his family. As for the rest of the family... they aren't into this type of music, but stay until the end anyway and mostly take pride on watching you perform the songs out with your band on stage. ----
Going off stage after throwing some guitar picks and drumming sticks into the crowd, you feel exhausted again. Feet hurting, fingers and wrists needing some stretching and your shoulders ache lightly from the strap of the guitar. Your voice is needs a break for tonight as well. But ignoring that, you take your sweaty make up off and go about the same routine as usual, before you can take a proper shower back at home. Oh, right. You're sleeping over by Damians house this time.
Walking out of the building, you see the Bat family waiting by their limousine for you. Damian approaches you once he sees you, pulling you into a hug before he kisses your cheek.
»You did great. As always.« He tells you as every night, it still sounding genuine and loving when he says it.
»Thanks... what do they think?«
»I didn't ask. But they seem okay.« Damian answers you, earning a soft groan from you, both from exhaustion and slight nervousness of their opinions. He seems to sense it and chuckles lightly, rubbing your back gently with his hand.
»Stop making out, we've got places to be!« What seems to be Jason calls out, interrupting the small kiss you shared just now.
With a small groan, he tags you along by the waist. Bruce greets you with a brief nod, not wasting any time to speak up.
»Good evening. When Damian said you have a band, I didn't expect it to be something like this.« In fact, he expected the worst the first time he found out about it, but never got to actually see what it's like until now. It makes Dick and Jason roll their eyes, even earning a brief annoyed look from Cass.
»The music was great, don't worry. I even got into one of those mosh pits. I would go again.« Dick interwhines, smiling goofily at you. He definitely had a good time.
»Me too. Loved the heavier songs.« Jason adds onto, getting slightly surprised by his positive feedback. Maybe they are just glad to have had some fun in a while, knowing they work hard to protect the city.
You exchange a few more words with them, sitting into the limousine beside Damian, who keeps his arm around your waist the entire time. He can sense your tiredness, as does the rest, but they keep talking about the show and what they liked the best. It's actually good they do so, not needing to talk so much. While quietly sitting beside Damian, you see that Cass has a pin of your band logo at her bag, getting a bit flustered and happy on the inside. You can't hold it for long though, being worn out after the long concert and doze off against your lovers shoulder before even arriving back to the Manor.
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a/n: Hope you enjoyed reading it!!
←MASTERLIST
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thebibliosphere · 4 months ago
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I made it 22 days without an acute migraine attack and then the humidity and temperature spiked again and wrecked my streak*.
I will say if yesterday was a migraine it was a comparatively mild one that I managed to sleep through the worst of it.
Which seems to confirm that my debilitating daily migraines are being caused by screens (other than my phone which seems perfectly fine) and some damage in my neck which the PT and fancy pillow seems to be helping.
As soon as I sit down in front of any screen other than my phone, the pain starts to build behind my eyes and the nausea starts. So not doing that for a while.
I was enjoying not praying for death every day and I intend to keep it that way until I can afford a different screen.
Which will probably be a while considering I owe $3k to the ER for this month alone, plus whatever the fuck this MRI is going to cost on Friday.
I’m ready for this year to be over 🫠
——
*I don’t include the occipital neuralgia or low level headaches in this category so I was still in what many people would consider moderate to severe pain in my skull, but it wasn’t the searing pressure I get from migraines with the awful vomiting which nothing seems to stop.
I’ve got another follow up with neurologist in two months. I’m honestly not sure I liked her. She asked if I’d ever tried a chiropractor which set alarm bells off and tells me she didn’t read my fucking file and the whole bit about my neck being irrevocably fucked by a chiro.
She was willing to let me confer with my MCAS doctor before she prescribed Topamax (which I’m not keen on trying. Very few MCAS patients handle it well.) but only because I got the vibe she didn’t want to prescribe me anything other than PT and acupuncture.
She also kept pushing Botox which is not great if you have cranial instability like I do and can actually make it a lot, lot worse. Not to mention the MCAS risk. It was just a very blegh appointment, but at least it’s got me in their system now and I can maybe hop to another doctor at some point if necessary.
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luceafarul-de-dimineata · 9 months ago
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How the kings would react to the shipping of them and MC
Satan
He was hanging out with his nobles, just talking gossip like normal people
But Paimon was just staying on his phone through half the conversations
"Paimon! What's so important that you're not interested in seing Sitri's baby pictures?"
Sitri was dying in the corner while Zagan was rubbing his back
Paimon takes his eyes out of his phone and giggles.
"Oh, I was just arguing with some people onlineeee"
Satan puts down the pictures of baby Sitri on the table (which Astaroth swiftly takes for himself. This will make such great blackmail material) and sits next to Paimon curiously.
"What are these dumpass arguing about now? Don't tell me Leraye started sending death threats to Barbatos over the weather again."
"Noooooo, it's better than thaaaaat. People are arguing about who the child of Solomon would dateeeee"
Satan takes Paimon's phone and starts to scroll through the comversations.
"And I'm winning, right? I mean MC has a pact with me, I was the first to meet them, it's obvious that I'm the one they'll choose"
"I know, riiiiiight?"
Satan would become the most active person in the shipping forum, just spamming it with pictures of him and MC
It's a way to assert his dominance over the whole thing.
Gamigin almost started a war between Paradise Lost and Gehenna when he started insulting Satan under his photos of MC
Mod Jjok had to work overtime to stop the harassment everyone in Gehenna was throwing at Gamigin for that
Lucifer had to send a formal apologise on behalf of his son to stop the situation from escalating further.
Mammon
Recently Eligos asked him to try on different fashion styles
At some point Mammon asks Eligos what this is all about
"The child of Solomon mentioned that they are interested in gothic fashion, so I'm trying to see what clothing would fit you and abide by goth fashion rules."
Mammon chuckles and ruffles Eligos' hair before telling him that he is already to his master's liking
"But there are a lot of people that claim that MC would be more interested in the other kings. We can't have that! Just yesterday Amon was bragging that MC and Beelzebub went on a date!"
"I'm glad they had fun with Beelzebub, but Beelzebub is mine and I am MC's. They can have fun with anyone they please."
Eligos' jaw drops to the floor. He gets flashbacks of all the arguments he had online about this and how he bought bots to mass report any Mammon x Mc slander
Eligos constantly tries to convince Mammon that the shipping wars are a big but Mammon doesn't really care.
At most he sends pictures of him and MC cuddling to Satan to spite him like all good friends do with eachother.
Leviathan
Leviathan is a lurker through the forums
It's where he got most of his information about you before kidnapping you
Probably reports all posts that aren't for the ship with him and you for false information
He would constantly post pictures of you and him doing mundane things with captions like "Living life perfectly", "Greatest day of my life", "Me and my wonderful significant other"
Makes everyone in Hades like his post and floud it with compliments
He'll make an account for you where he roleplays as a version of you that's madly innlove with you
The most likely to start an actual war between Hades and whatever ship is trending that morning
He sometimes doesn't sleep and just scrolls through the forums, refreshing constantly to see if you're having fun with someone else
King of all doxxers
No VPN will protect you from Leviathan's wrath
Beelzebub
Beelzebub was tied to his office chair with Bael glaring at him
"Go on, look at the complaint. What does it say?"
"I should take a vacation. I'm already burned out. You know, overworking is very bad for your health."
Bael glares at him with not an ounce of amusement behind his eyes
When Beelzebub skims through the files, something catches his attention
"Threat of war from Hades? I don't remember going to Hades recently, what happened?"
"While you were away having fun with the child of Solomon, Amon posted pictures of you two going at it on a forum. Next thing I know, his majesty Leviathan declared war on Avisos. I had to talk him out of it, but we now have to write a report about what happened and send it to the other kingdoms to tell them that it was resolved without any casualties."
Beelzebub was laughing his ass off while Bael was question his life choices
Beelzebub asks Amon to show him the forum which the younger devil does happily.
He sometimes go through it often, but he uses it as a way to find out where you are.
He's chiller about the whole thing, finding it kind of funny that so many people are so invested in your love life
Lucifer
Gamigin won't shut up about it.
If Lucifer took a shot every time Gamigin complained about the shipping wars, he'll dethrone Beelzebub as the king of Gluttuny
Lucifer is a softer lover, only being intense in more private parts of your relationship
So even getting him to kiss you in public (or outside the bedroom) is very hard.
This makes Gamigin's job as a shipper very hard
Lucifer finds the shipping war situation absurd
Why would anyone do this? What is it accompleshing? Why does he suddently get embargos from Hades or Gehenna after he goes on a date with you?
He'll probably have to sit Gamigin down and tell him to stop calling the other kings rude names just because they hang out with you.
It really depends on your reaction to everything as well
If you like being in the spot light, than he'll try to be more open with his affection, giving Gamigin more oportunities to gush about you online
If you want to keep your relationship more private, than he'll make all cameras fracture when pointing at the two of you
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gallusrostromegalus · 6 months ago
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I am constantly procrastinating working on my original fic by writing fanfic. Any advice for how to refocus and finish my novel?
Well. The novel probably needs a nap.
Procrastinating is a symptom that something is preventing you from doing the thing you "should" be doing. Most of the time it's an unrelated, but actually higher priority task like resting after an illness (society is fucking lying about anything else being more important) or filing your taxes (actually this one is pretty important).
...but if you're procrastinating on one creative project with another creative project, you're not procrastinating: something about the novel is off right now, the fanfic is more appealing to you.
Consider the following:
You may be writing fic because it brings you more joy than the novel. If you really want to get back to the novel, figure out what would make working on it more enjoyable. Engagement from a beta-editor? Skipping this really boring scene and coming back to it later? Adding more smut?
You may also be writing fic because it's got a lower spoon coat than the novel and you need to conserve your spoons right now. Any extra stress in your life? Moving? Toothache? Recovering from Covid? Annoying roommate? Sick family member? It's an election year? ANY of those could soak up extra spoons and make your novel too expensive for your spoons budget. Let it take a nap, and come back when you're feeling better.
You may be sharpening your artistic skills on a lower-stakes project before going back to the novel. This is pretty normal- even Michaelangelo took breaks to work on other pieces while sculpting The David, both for a change of pace and so he could try something out without fucking up the big block.
Fortunately, you're writing, so you can always try writing the challenging scene a dozen times in different docs or save the parts that were good but don't not in a spare parts bucket doc.
Or keep working on that fic, it's helping you learn on a subconscious level.
You don't love the novel right now. This is alright. This is usually temporary, and the solution is the same- put it aside and work on something else.
Maybe you are just bored of the novel. That's fine and normal, you just save all the documents to your hard drive and come back later. When the fic inevitably gets boring too, you'll come back to the novel and either go "oh hey this kicks ass!" And return to it with renewed enthusiasm.
...Or you'll come back to it and go "oh. This is actually a piece of shit" And that's okay too, because there's nothing more useless than polishing a turd, but that turd is still valuable as compost. You learned things writing it, and you can still rifle through the novel for good lines or scenes or turns of phrase and put those in your spare parts doc to ferment into The Good Shit in the back of your mind.
HOWEVER:
If you are experiencing a different phenomenon wherein you are actively distressed while writing the fic- either out of misplaced guilt, or the fic isn't actually fun you just feel compelled to do something, or absolutely every creative endeavor is stressing you out, you may be experiencing a serious mental or physical health issue and you should see your GP or a specialist ASAP. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong. Do not ignore your body's warning light.
That sounds really dramatic and hyperbolic but realizing I was not enjoying ANY creative work was the symptom that finally got me to sit down and go "huh. All these random pains, irregular sleep cycle, frequent migraines and weird bouts of vertigo aren't normal either, I should get this looked at." And it turned out I had dangerously low blood oxygen at night from undiagnosed sleep apnea. I have a CPAP machine now and it's AMAZING.
I really hope this is regular artistic shuffle and not a serious health concern, but if you're experiencing creative stress AND a bunch of other shit, it may be serious.
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heaven-s-black-box · 8 months ago
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Notes- To the Beach! GOM x fem!Reader
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Recovery date: May 10th, 2024
Description: hiii!! hope your having a good day, I was wondering if I could request GoM x reader (separately) with a maybe more quiet and shy reader when they go to the beach and see her in a bikini (maybe a bit suggestiveee but it’s up to you!) they can get a bit flustered and protective 😭 thank you so much and dw if you don’t/can’t complete it <3,
Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with @smtere we thank them for their contributions. Hope you don't mind the headcanons, it was the easiest for so many people. This is meant to be post last game, probably summer of their 3rd year.
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Akashi
Is the most outwardly chill about it
Though he does find his gaze drifting and lingering (Aomine got halfway through calling him out once before eating sand)
The first time he justifies it as admiring your swimsuit, every other time is just a whoopsie
He’s not weird about it though, and he tries his best not to stare
Makes sure you put on sunscreen/ cover up if he thinks you need it
Will complement how it looks on you
I did say “most outwardly chill” and I meant it
He may seem cool as a cucumber but if you hug him he will short circuit
He doesn’t get much affection on a normal day and while he is much more mature than his friends, I refuse to believe this boy is not fighting off indecent thoughts every so often
Build a sand castle with him please
Midorima
Flustered and can’t hide it
Dude is pink, and not from the sun
His gaze also drifts and lingers but he won’t even give himself a chance to admire you
You cannot convince me Takao has not corrupted him, at least a bit, he can’t look at you without hear Takao teasing him
Like Akashi he looks out for you if you’re prone to sunburn
Midorima isn’t weird about you wearing a bikini, he just makes it weird by actively avoiding looking anywhere but your face
He definitely relaxes throughout the day though
By the time you’re leaving he compliments you, having finally looked somewhere other than your face
He’s fine with whatever you want to do, might even begrudgingly let you bury him
Kise
The most chill, he has sisters so bikinis aren’t something overly suggestive to him
That said it’s you so it does make him a bit flustered
He is also the most obviously protective because as a model he’s very familiar with… lingering gazes, there will always be weirdos
Keeps a shirt on while on the beach, claiming he can’t afford to burn, but it's actually incase you want it for whatever reason
He definitely enjoys the extra contact though, whether that be an arm around your waist or offering to carry you on his back, Kise strikes me as a touchy person
If your swimsuit starts to come loose he’ll offer to fix it for you
Showers you in complements
Wants to collect shells and swim
Murasakibara
Could not give two shits
Kise was chill, Murisakibara just doesn’t care
He compliments the swim suit, and he definitely stares a bit but when he gets caught he apologizes and looks away
Won’t initiate physical contact but doesn’t mind it, feeling your skin brush against his when you hugged him did make him jump a bit though
I don’t really have much to say here because I really don’t think he’d care
Although he will confront anyone making you uncomfortable, his stature is more than enough to make most people back down
Wants to spend the day lounging on the beach, you might be able to convince him to come float with you
Aomine
If it was anyone but Aomine it would be weird
Shamelessly stares
You can call him out on it but he’ll just make a sound of acknowledgement and keep staring, unless you tell him he’s making you uncomfortable
He may be forward and unashamed but he’s not a complete ass
If someone else is making you uncomfortable or just keeps staring he will fight them, though he tries to avoid that
Asked Momoi for one of her towel jackets for you incase you wanted it, he almost regretted it when she started teasing him for being a softy
He compliments you, but it’s stuff like “your boobs look nice”
Will imply he’d like to see you “show off” more often
Also fairly touchy, like Kise, and will offer to help fix your swimsuit if needed
He will also throw you into the water, there is no escaping
Kuroko
Like Akashi he’s outwardly cool and inwardly panicking just a bit
He will try and fight anyone making you uncomfortable but Aomine and the others have to save him
Like Akashi and Midorima will keep an eye out if you’re prone to sunburn
Any physical contact you make with him will spook him just a bit
He’s close with Momoi, and we know she wears bikinis so I think like with Kise they aren’t anything suggestive to him
I don’t have much to say here either because Kuroko doesn’t really wear his heart on his sleeve, though he will linger a bit closer to you throughout the day
Complements your swimsuit
Prefers to spend the day reading on the beach
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yourmomxx · 1 year ago
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i wanted to request something sweet with my man aaron hotchner. like r and him work at the bau but their relationship is a secret until r kiss him on accident because shes excited about something!!! i hope this make sense idk!
thanks bestie have a great week!
i’m loving me some babygirl aaron hotchner honestly, i hope you like how this turned out!!
The office lights were blinding.
Like clinically cold balls of headlights that were penetrating through your skull, buzzing at an abnormally high frequence consistently.
You groaned inwardly and pressed the balls of your hands deep into your eyesockets, anything to just make that stupid headache go away so you could continue filing your reports that laid unedited on your desk.
You tapped the head of your pen vigorously against the desk top to jog a flow of words for you to write down.
With your hand supporting your head, you didn't notice a figure approaching you out of the corner of your eye.
"Hey." The tone of Aaron Hotchner's voice was soft and warm, but you still couldn't help but jump at the unexpected presence so near next to you.
You sighed when you noticed it was him, and leaned your head on your hand again. "Hey."
Aaron threw a look on you, then your files, and then your hunched figure again.
His gaze softened.
"Why don't you go home?" He suggested. You opened your mouth to openly protest, but Aaron cut you off before you even started talking.
"You need the rest," He made it clear to you, "and I'm sure Jack would love if you read him a story before bedtime."
You threw him a look. "You can't just lure me home using your son. That's not fair game."
The corners of Aaron's mouth twitched and he tilted his head.
You sighed. "Even if I wanted to go home," You said, "This paperwork won't finish itself."
Aaron moved closer to you and threw a glance over your shoulder, one hand supporting his weight on your desk as he leaned over your body.
"Let me do it," He offered.
You turned to look at him. "I can't ask that of you."
Aaron straightened up. "You're not asking, I'm offering."
Carefully, he pulled your pen out of your hand and put it back into its designated holder with multiple other ones that probably weren't even functioning anymore.
"Now," He drew out slowly, while his fingers were circling under the collar of your jacket hung over your chair, and he held it out to you, "Go home."
You threw him a doubting look. Aaron raised an eyebrow.
"I can make this an order if I want to."
You raised your hands, defeated.
"Alright, alright."
Slowly, you rolled your chair back and stood up, and accepted happily when Aaron helped you slip into the warm jacket. His hands kept steadying you at your shoulders. You closed your eyes and let your muscles relax against him for the blink of a second.
"Thank you," You muttered to him.
Aaron nodded. "Of course."
Your bag was already packed, it was a plus, as you lifted it off the floor.
"Maybe you can read Jack the book you brought him the last time," Aaron suggested. "He hasn't put it down since I showed him."
At his words, your face cracked into a huge, beaming smile.
"He actually liked it?" You hushed. Aaron nodded, smiling.
"That was my favorite book as a child, I'm so glad!"
You strode forward and pulled him closer to you in a short, but emotion-pouring kiss.
When you leaned away, Aaron smiled.
"Get home safe," He said. "Text me."
You dug out your headphones out of your bag and smiled at him.
"Always."
Then, not without throwing your lover a last kiss in your steps, you made your way out of the glass gates and left the building.
Only when the closed elevator doors put you out of his line of sight, Aaron allowed himself to finally pull out your chair and sit down.
He cracked open one of the brown files and started writing.
Only a few tables away, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid were frozen in the same position they had been in just one minute ago.
Emily opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again.
Derek turned to Rossi. "Should we-?"
"No." The elder Agent cut him off.
Emily gestured wildly with her hands. "But they just-"
"I know, but - let's just not."
Spencer tilted his head.
Emily gave in.
They all just watched as their Unit Chief sat on your desk and filled out files that weren't his, as if it was the most normal thing on earth.
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reiderwriter · 1 year ago
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Dirty Cops
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: With a dirty cop killing women in the BDSM community running loose you and Spencer have to devise an equally dirty plan to catch him in the act.
Warnings: Kintober Day 22 - S&M, BDSM themes, public sex, oral sex, exhibitionism, bathroom sex, interrupted sex (both of them are cockblocked by the job).
A/N: I'M BACK! Sorry for the delay. This is the fic that has been beating my ass for about two weeks now. I fear I put too much detail into the case, and now I'm 6k words deep into a part one of a fic that should've been a 3k standalone.... oops! I hope you enjoy~
You sat in your office hands on your forehead as you desperately searched for the solution to your problems. 12 women, 12 homicides that VICAP had just spotted were easily similar. All in the same jurisdiction, and yet no connections made by their police force.
Something was going on in Tampa, and you needed to get to the bottom of it before another person died. 
You supposed it didn't really help that some of the women had died in some pretty unorthodox ways. Strangulation, blunt force trauma, evidence of rope burns, and having been held hostage but not for long. Things your team was familiar with, but local detectives usually couldn't stomach.
As the BAU's brand new liaison officer, you got the job of convincing the local law enforcement to invite you in. They certainly weren't making it easy for you. 
"Listen, I'm telling you there's something here, sir, if you'd just check the case files. We're only trying to help."
"You're trying to stick your nose in my departments business because you think your fancy FBI agents can handle my cases better than me." 
"Sir, with all due respect -" 
"Fine, you think you can come find whoever whacked these street whores you come and do it." You took in a sharp breath and paused, trying to make sure if you were hearing him correctly. 
"What do you mean by whores, Captain? Choose your words very carefully." The warning was a bonus, knowing your voice had already done such a 180 he was probably regretting his previous word choices. As far as you knew none of the victims were wex workers. They mainly had office jobs or were even stay ah hone mom's.
"Each and every one of these women were jezebel's. Cheating, doing dirty things while showing their faces in church. They attended a certain establishment, not a Christian one, if you understand what I'm telling you, Miss." 
"It's Agent, actually, and if you ever leave these details out of a case file ever again, I'll make sure to have your badge pinned up on my wall like a hunting trophy. Are we clear, Captain?" He stuttered out a yes, but you cut him off quickly. 
"My team and I will arrive later today. Expect us for lunch." You said, slamming the receiver down and finally releasing a huff of breath you'd been saying for emergencies. 
A whistle from the door finally draws your attention after a few minutes. 
"Okay, Y/N," JJ clapped, looking impressed. "Who pissed you off?" 
"Just the Captain at the precinct who just very politely invited us to consult on our next case." You threw the file in her direction as she set down the coffee she'd bought you, picking it up to peruse it. "Where's Hotch? I need to tell him we've got to go now before they change their minds." 
"You know you want to say it," she teased as you began walking out of the office to find your elusive boss. 
"Ha. Sure. Wheels up in 30, Jennifer." She raised her coffee in a salute to you as you finally took off, getting ready to go to war against an unhelpful police precinct. 
–X– 
With all the time you don't have, you end up briefing the team on the jet. You have to stand and grab the edge of the table as you try not to pace up and down the aisle. 
"Twelve victims, all women between the ages of 20 to 28. He's crossing race lines, so I don't think they're placeholders." In all honesty, this case had pissed you off. 
Twelve dead women and no one seemed to care until you phoned the department up yourself when VICAP flagged it all with you. Half of the cases had been closed for lack of evidence, and the other half so poorly investigated that you knew it was only a matter of time before they got boxed up and shelved too. 
"The general public in Zephyrhills doesn't even know they have a serial killer. No one is being told to exert caution. There's no local press on this either." 
"It says that these women were all killed, but there's no viable DNA they could pick up?" Morgan asks, looking up at you. 
"That's right, no DNA evidence can be lifted, but spermicide was found on three of the victims." 
"So our unsub was wearing a condom. He came prepared, and we were dealing with a serial rapist who has bridged into murdering his victims." 
"There was no spermicide found on the other nine victims?" Emily looks up at you from her place at the small table. 
"No. Rape test kits weren't run on any of the other victims because, quote: 'it was pretty obvious what had happened.' The precinct waited too long to collect the DNA evidence  and now we don't have enough to locate, let alone prosecute an unsub based on DNA."
The whole team shared in your stressed look then, sending you matching sympathetic glances as they suddenly understood the herculean task you'd taken on trying to convince the locals to invite you in. 
Not noticing the awkward silence that fell on the group, Spencer spoke up quickly from his place, standing beside you. 
"You know, Zephyrhills is only about an hour away from Tampa. Tampa is the number one hook up spot in the US. It's residents boast on average 14 orgasms a month instead of the nationwide average of 12.5." He seemed pleased with the knowledge he'd just let everyone in on, as you looked back on him.
"Right. So our guy is trying to get his rocks off to out gun the rest of the country. Thanks, Spencer." 
"It's relevant. It's says in the casefile here that three of our victims were last spotted on the highway making their way to Tampa, but then their bodies were found dumped in Zephyrhills. What if he's following them?"
"Spencer has a point, but if he's following them, what gets them to turn around? The cars were found abandoned in Zephyrhills, too, none of these women made it to Tampa." Hotch adds, and you make eye contact with him as your next thought comes to you. 
"What could get someone to stop on a highway?" You ask, the question so simple, every single one of them knew the answer before you'd even finished asking.
"A cop." JJ filled in, and you all sat silently as you realised how dangerous this next case could truly be. 
"We're about an hour out from arrival, everyone get some rest for now, I'm going to make a call to the nearest FBI Field Office, see if any of this is on their radar."
You slunked back to your seat at the back of the jet and sat down again, trying to get comfy but ending up just shifting multiple times in your seat.
Spencer joined you, sitting beside you, so close you could feel his eyes on you as your leg began to bounce. He put his hand over it and, with a strong hand, stilled the movement. 
"Y/N, you did a good job connecting these cases." His voice was meek and calming, and you'd generally very much appreciate it if his hand weren't sending your body through some serious loops right then. 
Your leg was on fire where he was touching you, his hand hot even through the fabric of your clothes. But when he pulled the hand away, watching your legs for any further tremors, you felt the need to snatch it back and replace it on your leg, certain that it would sooth the burning once more. 
You snapped yourself out of it quickly. If you were thinking this way about Spencer of all people, then you really needed to get laid. 
"Tampa's population consists of 43% singles, you know. Good statistics for getting laid." You twisted your head around to meet his eyes again.
"Tell me I didn't say that outloud." But his small smile dashed your hopes as you realised you just admitted to feeling incredibly horny because of his hand on your knee. 
"If it's any consolation, I'm definitely the only one who heard it." His hand fell back to your thigh, and you twitched as it did, but you didn't move him. 
"Fucking floridians and their goddamn 14 orgams a month," you muttered under your breath, hoping that he wasn't paying any attention to you now, seeing as how he'd opened up a book to hold in one hand. 
"Lucky if I get even one and Florida man has 14 in him." You continue mumbling as you try to get cosy, closing your eyes and moving your head to find a comfortable position. 
“You definitely said that one out loud.” He laughed, and you threw up your middle finger while letting your head fall back and your body take the rest it needed. 
Without opening your eyes, you decided you needed the last word, a phenomenon you often found occurring in Spencer’s presence. 
“A gentleman would pretend to not have heard that, Spencer.”
“I’m not a gentleman.” Annoyance prickled you at his reply, but you were too tired to say anything more as you caught up with the sleep that had been evading you for weeks. 
–X–
Your landing in Florida comes almost too soon, and Hotch delegates tasks before you’ve even had the chance to properly get your feet beneath you after so long in the sky. 
This case was becoming more of a mindfield with each of the pieces of information you’d received. Upon getting off of his call with the FBI Field Office closest to Zephryhills, Hotch had informed the team about an ongoing investigation into the police captain’s wife, whose pseudo-Christian church group were spewing vitriol about damn near every group you could think of. 
“Religious discrimination, racism, sexism, homophobia and some pretty screwed up views of basically everything else, too.” Penelope had informed the group, pulling up the files that had been sent to her.
“It seems their most recent project is… Oh, how relevant. An adult establishment just opened up on the outskirts of Tampa, right on the highway that connects it to Zephyrhills. And from the boasts of the club owner on social media, it seems he’s telling anyone who listens that he’s not going to get shut down because the police are his main clientele.” 
She sent through links to some of the posts to your iPads, and you angled the thing towards Spencer so he could take in the new information as well. 
“Could we be looking at a religious motive to the murders? You said that the police captain called these women Jezebels. The name is biblical, she was a Queen who worshipped a false god and was defenestrated because of it, but over time, the uncapitalised jezebel, as you know, tended to refer to women with loose morals.”
“The motives could still be religious, but these women were raped. It says in the case files that Mrs. James’s church group is solely comprised of women, mostly the wives of the officers in the police force.” 
Again, everything was leading you back to this stupid police precinct. You grimmaced as you realised that the next few weeks were going to be spent on the edge watching your back. 
“Y/N, Reid, I want you both with me at the precinct when we land. Morgan, JJ, go to the church and interview some of the ladies there, see if you can’t push some buttons. Emily, Rossi, some of the family’s of the victims got in touch with the field office to request inquiries, go anf find out whatever you can about the last known whereabouts of these women.” 
Now bracing yourself, you set your face in a neutral expression and let Spencer hold the door open for you as you walked into the station. 
“Hello, we’re the agents from the FBI. Where can we find your captain?” You ask the receptionist at the chatting to her desk, but just as you finish your inquiry, another officer cuts you off, stepping half in front of you and demanding some files from the woman. 
She stands awkwardly, sending you an apologetic glance as she scurries off to go and complete whatever busy work he’s just given her as you quietly seeth at his back. 
The officer turns around to you and grins, sending you a smile as he walks off, apparently pleased with himself for foiling your attempts to find his boss. 
“Y/N, keep a cool head. The captain’s office seems to be just ahead, I’m going to go and see if he’s there, smooth out some of the issues they seem to be having over here with our presence.” You nod and stay back with Spencer, who takes a quick seat behind you. 
You don’t sit, though, too on edge and pissed off to get comfortable now. 
The officers seem to ignore the two of you, bustling around you with no sense of shame, but you can tell they're watching you, hearing the low murmur of whispers. 
When one of them decides to out their hands on you, though, you've decided you've had enough.
"Sorry, little lady, I need to get through. Important police business." He practically Leeds down at you as his hands grab your waist, meaning to move you aside to her you out of his path. 
You don't give him the chance, grabbing his hands from your hips and twisting them behind his back quickly, shoving him face first into the nearest desk. 
"Fuck, you little bitch. Come and control your partner, man." He struggles in your grasp, signalling to Spencer. 
You grin as Spencer doesn't even look up at him, having pulled out a copy of War and Peace and settling nicely in his seat. You could tell he was on edge though, had seen the slight way his body tensed when you'd first been touched, and knew that if you'd needed it, he'd be there backing you up in a second. 
"Sorry, are you talking to me?" He finally said, still not looking up from his book. 
"Yes, get this bitch off of me." 
"If you ask her nicely, I'm sure Agent Y/N would release you. As for me, I'm certainly not making her do anything she doesn't want to." He grinned as he said it, and you rolled your eyes slightly.
"Maybe if you told some of these other agents here to stop looking at her likes, she's a hunk of meat and greeted her respectfully instead of calling her… little lady, was it? Maybe then she'd be more generous." The man grumbled beneath you again, but before you could actually force his hand, Hotch and the Captain were exiting his office, obviously alerted by the crashing sound you'd made. 
"Reid, Y/N, that's enough." Hotch signalled, and you complied, letting the man go and stepping back to Reid's side. He'd stood now, squaring his shoulders and making use of his quite intimidating height. You must seem tense, though, because the second you settle next to him, he puts a hand on your lower back, and you're surprised at how calm you instantly become. 
Earlier, his touch had been fire and ice, and now it was relaxing you beyond belief. What the hell was wrong with your body recently? 
"Thank you, sir," the officer said, straightening, dusting off his uniform as he levelled a glare at both you and Spencer. "I was beginning to think the FBI was just a bunch of sissy's and menstruators-" 
"Cut the crap." Hotch barked out, and even you were startled by the sound. "Captain, if you or any member of your precinct says anything further about any member of my team, or god forbid puts a hand on them, I'll personally make sure this office is charged with conspiracy to murder for not investigating these deaths and aggravated assault of a federal officer. Do I make myself clear?" 
The man seemed displeased at having his badge threatened for a second time in 24 hours, but nodded, dismissed the other officer, and finally shut up. 
He has the female receptionist from earlier show you to the room you'd be using for your investigation for the next few weeks. 
After  making sure the room is secure, you place a call to Penelope and the others trying to gauge if they'd found any further leads. 
"Some of the family members know exactly where they were going that night. One of them had a husband, said he was going with her, that they drove in separate cars because it was part of the thrill of it all." Emily's voice sounded tense and frustrated, and you could only sympathise silently before jumping in to ask her more questions.
"I thought they said it was an adult establishment? Does that not mean strip club?" You asked, perplexed at why the married couple would be going together. 
"No, from what I can tell, it seems these women were members of the BDSM community, and that place… is somewhere they can practice." 
"So even if we do somehow get another victim, any DNA test could be questionable evidence because they all left to have consensual sex." You sighed out and ran a stressed hand through your hair.
On your call with JJ and Morgan, you got much of the same. 
"Oh, they're angry, alright. About the immigrants and the drug dealers, the homosexuals, and the jezebels. Seems they're working hard to get the club closed not just because it's a house of sin but also because the man who owns it might be an illegal immigrant."
"How quaint and Christian of them."
"Yep, and get this, the club's official title? Women for the Grace of God. There were no men in this group, Y/N. We're not going to find our unsub here." 
Hanging up, you let your head hang, the fatigue of the case really kicking your ass. 
"Spencer, draw the blinds, Y/N, lock the doors." Hotch ordered, and you listened, quickly making sure that no one was even close to the door. Returning to your seat, you noted the tense set of your boss's jaw and decided that whatever he had to say wasn't going to be good. 
"Our unsub is in this precinct, which means we're not safe. But it also puts us in a unique position. They don't know we suspect them yet. We can force the unsubs hand." 
You straightened in your chair, listening closer. 
"You want to bait them out?" Spencer asked from his place beside you. 
"I want you two to bait them out. You already got under a few of the officers' skin, push a few more buttons, and we could get our unsub to slip up." 
"And how are we supposed to do that?" You asked, heart thumping in anticipation. You thought you already knew, but you needed to hear the words from his mouth to be sure. 
"They're going after women in the BDSM lifestyle. Let's convince them that the two of you are also similarly involved." 
He turned and left you with the decision then, leaving you and Spencer in the small room alone. 
Your palms were sweaty, and you refused eye contact for a few minutes before he finally cracked and gave in first.
"It'd work." He whispered, suddenly closer than you remembered. 
"What?" 
"It would work. Whoever this guy is, he's getting off on dominating these women, seeing another man that he deems physically inferior dominating a woman who's already kicked an officers ass… that's enough to get him to crumble, slip up."
"So I'm supposed to just bend over and take it?"
"Bend over, yes, but I usually prefer women to be a bit bratty." 
"What?" You found yourself blinking up at his face, even as the door swung open again, another officer walking into the small room you'd been left in. 
You stepped away from Reid slightly, putting a more appropriate distance between the two of you before the man started talking. 
"Well hello, I heard we had some feds in the office, thought I'd come introduce myself, but I didn't hear we had such a beautiful woman here, too. She a witness?" He directed the question to Spencer, but his leering eyes never left your body, trailing down slowly and disgustingly as you tried not to shudder under his gaze. 
"I'm Doctor Spencer Reid, this is my partner, Agent Y/N. How can we help you?"
"Oh, I'm all set on my medicals, doc. You can't help me. Maybe she can if you let me take her out for a test drive?" Your blood boiled as he said those words, and you were about to send a cutting reply back to the man, when Spencer sat back down in his seat, snaking an arm around your waist to take you with him.
"Sorry, I don't lend out my private property." Stunned, you tried to act naturally about your new position, but his hand on your thigh slashes your brain capacity down by half, the only thought in your head running through Spencer Reid's possible sexual preferences. 
"Oh, I see how it is. She's a slut, just not that kind. Okay, I'll bite, what's this one into? Choking, spanking? Careful, don't go too far or you'll be prime suspect number one for our perp." 
"What are you insinuating, officer?"
"That these sluts you're asking about got in over their heads. Some women like it rough, practically beg for it. Poor guy just did what they were asking." Biting your tongue, you let the man keep digging his own hole, as Spencer kept him talking.
"Actually, contrary to popular opinion, in most sado-masochistic relationships, the submissive partner is the one in control. They have power to stop whatever role play is going on in the scene through safe words and actions, and the dominant role is more of a protective role, requiring a deep level of commitment and care for their sub." As he said it, he turned your face to his, hooking a finger under your chin and then stroking your face as you fell further into his body. 
You almost forgot the other officer was there until you heard his grumbled reply, turning your head slightly to whisper in Reid's ear. 
"Long shot, Doc." With that, you climbed from his lap, turning back to the other officer with a grin. 
"Sorry, was there anything professional we could help you with? Or would you like to go and deal with your little problem alone in the men's bathroom now?" He turned on his heels and exited swiftly, face red with rage at your insinuations. 
"Okay. I'll admit, it's going to work. But we're going to need to set up some bait and deliver the profile to them to make sure we have each and every one of their attentions."
"I'll notify, Hotch." 
"Spencer, wait." He stopped at the door and turned back to listen to you. "Earlier when you said… when you mentioned that you'd prefer…" You tried to ask the question  but it seemed the question just wasn't going to form on your lips  so you simply let out a small frustrated humph and let him figure out the rest. 
"Y/N, I… I don't know how to answer that question and still act professionally around you."
He left the room shortly after, and you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the distance suddenly kept between the two of you. You were beginning to become much too distracted by Spencer Reid.
–X– 
"Let's have another rundown again, just so we're all clear on the play by play on this." Morgan said as you and Spencer were wired up, ready for your operation. 
It wasn't exactly undercover, but it wasn't quite straight police work either, but here you were. After giving the profile earlier, you'd noted that three of the officers had seemed a little bit fidgety under all the new information they were getting, all three of them matching your profile. 
Unluckily for you, they just happened to be the Captain in charge of the precinct, Detective Handsy from your first trip into the office, and Detective Dumbass, who'd asked you and Spencer all about BDSM earlier that day. 
Penelope had filled you in on each of their backgrounds. The Captain was second generation police force, but court of public opinion had ruled that his father wasn't exactly an upstanding guy, a report corroborated by his mother's multiple accidents and trips to the ER. Detective Handsy had a misdemeanour sex crime expunged from his juvenile record for masturbating in public - on the unconscious girl who sat next to him on the bus.
Detective Dumbass seemed to be the police contact for all the local prostitutes. He'd busted at least thirty in three months, and each of them had reportedly tried to turn him in as the John who'd paid for their services. 
"Run through it again." Morgan brought you down to earth as JJ finished attaching the wire under your clothing, handing you the small in ear so you could hear updates from the team. 
"We walk into the bar, get a little too close for comfort than they'd like, then ask the bartender where we can have some fun around here. She's been prepped to give us the answer we want, and we set out on the highway where Rossi and Hotch are waiting in unmarked cars to give us an escort until our unsub takes the bait and tries to pull us over." 
"Good, now, Spencer, do I have to show you where to put your hands, or do you think you've read enough to figure out how to push the right buttons?" From the grin on his face, it was evident he was enjoy pushing the younger man's buttons  but you could tell he wasn't doing it maliciously. The two of you were both tense and on edge, and you needed that waylaid somehow. 
"Trust me, Morgan, I think he knows where his fingers should go." You said before grabbing Spencer’s hand and dragging him out of the vehicle, not letting him go until you were right by the door of the bar. 
You didn't really let him go either, it's more like he caught up to you and moved his hand from yours to your ass instead, pulling you closer into his body as you made to move inside the bar. 
He hesitated a moment outside, though.
"Y/N, we haven't talked about boundaries yet. I'm going to have to touch you in there and-"
"You have my permission. For anything." Your words come faster than you expect, but they're there, filling the silence of the night quickly. 
"Anything?" He asks, a small play lighting up his lips as he pulls you in closer. You can feel his breath on your skin, and you almost take back your words until he lowers his head. Your lips are barely an inch apart and getting slowly closer as you angle your head up towards him, when the bar doors swing open and he turns and pulls you inside instead. 
You recover quickly, trying to focus on the twelve women who need to find justice rather than the many things you suddenly want Spencer Reid to be doing to you. 
You slide into a booth at the edge of the bar  but you'd canvassed the place earlier, knowing that while it appeared to be a quiet corner, every other table had a clear view of your actions in the corner. 
Surely enough  you felt a few pairs of eyes on you as you sat down, a little closer for comfort than you expected.
"Well, Penelope's sources were correct. It seems like every cop in town is here tonight." You said, whispering the words into Spencer's neck, just above where his own wire was placed, making sure the words were heard by both him and the members of your team left in the surveillance van. 
"Show time," he said, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his lips as you stood. He gave your ass a quick slap as you made to walk towards the bar, and you sent him back a wink as you walked to order your drinks. 
Ordering them quickly, you took a simple scan of the room, noting that all three of your suspects were social butterflies tonight. They all sat on different tables, but each had at least another man with him, and every single one of them was looking at you presitorially. 
Returning to your seat with the drinks, you never felt their gazes leave you. 
"Certainly caught their attention. What now?" You asked hesitantly, sliding up against Spencer’s body again. 
"Now we give them a show." He said, snaking a hand between your legs and forcing them apart gently. You'd changed into a shorter skirt and smaller top before coming back out, needing to look the part of the slut they'd already deemed you. 
You smiled up at Spencer as he stoked your thigh suggestively, but he never moved it further up. 
"Spencer, kiss me." You said, eyelids heavy as you begged the man to take you further than touching. 
"Why?" He asked softly in your ear.
"Because a few of our suspects are getting restless, and I want to see if we can tip some of them over the edge. Obviously you're smarter than trying to stick your hand up my skirt in public surrounded by a group of cops who would happily stick you in a cell for the night for public indecency, so you're just going to have to stick your tongue down my throat." 
"Here I was thinking maybe you wanted it," he grumbled but complied anyway, grabbing the back of your head with his free hand and pulling you towards him. The kiss wasn't soft. It wasn't gentle the way his caresses were. It was hot and it was demanding, and when he pulled away after a minute and your lips followed his desperate for more  he grabbed your hair and pulled you backwards, baring your neck to him easily as he moved his lips down slightly. 
Opening your eyes then, you again surveyed the bar, noting that the Captain and his friends were leaving, sending a stink eyed glare in your direction as they threw down their cups and left. 
"Morgan, get eyes on the Captain. Make sure he goes home and stays there," you breathe out quietly, waiting to hear the affirmative in your ear as Spencer kept his head buried at your neck. 
In another second, he was off you, taking a swig only his drink as he smoothed your hair down again. You do your best to ignore the history pooling between your legs and the haze clouding up your brain as you stare at him swallow the drink, watching a small stream of the soda you'd ordered him instead run down his chin. 
You watched it fall and, in a moment of thoughtlessness, pressed forward to lap it up from his neck. He'd spent time marking you. What harm could this do now? 
However you rationalised it, you knew it was just an impulse, one greatly rewarded by his hands pulling your hips over his and a growl in your ears. 
"Anything?" Was the only thing he said, and you pulled away to look into his eyes again before he pulled you in for another kiss. 
"Sorry to interrupt, love bunnies, but we've had a change of plan. Two of our suspects are out, and they've bailed and been safely and discreetly escorted home by FBI agents from the field office. Hotch and Rossi are on the way back. He thinks we can nail him in there and get him to act out." 
Pulling back from the kiss long enough to whisper your reply to Morgan into Spencer's mic, you can barely tear your eyes away from the man. 
"What do you want us to do?" 
"Men's bathroom is free. Hotch thinks if we make it look like you're doing something less than holy in there that it could force his hand. Especially because he's shown voyeuristic tendencies in the past."
"Shit. Detective Dumbass?" 
"Only one left. And his name is Dunbar. You'd do well to remember that in the paperwork."
Pulling yourself up and out of Spencer's lap, you took a swig of your drink again as you stood. 
"Follow me in three minutes." He grabs you by your wrist and turns you back around to him again, though before you can leave.
"Y/N, we're going to get this guy. After we do, I think we should talk." Instead of answering him, you pressed another lingering kiss to his lips and moved out again, heading directly to the dark corridor where the bathrooms were. 
You slipped into the men's easily enough, thankful that it was empty. It was a single stall, and when you heard the knock on the door two minutes later, you were suddenly thankful that it was, because it meant that you could lock the door behind him and not risk anyone else coming in while you baited your unsub.
Spencer placed a hand to his lips as soon as he made it through the door, pulling out his phone to type out a message to you without speaking. 
"Followed me. Think he's listening outside." 
You pulled your own out to answer him.
"Let's give him a show then."
The both of you discarded your phones on the countertop of the bathroom and suddenly collided again, as if you were two magnets who could no longer resist the pull. 
Your lips fought hungrily, and now you didn't pull back your voice  letting all the moans of pleasure fall from your mouth and fill the bathroom.
His hands were on you in an instant, pushing you back against the door, letting the creep behind the wall hear as much as possible as his hips found yours and you started grinding against him like your life depended on it. 
You could no longer tell what you were doing for the case, and what you were doing out of the simple desire to do so, wrapped up in all of the pleasure he was giving you in that minute. And that was before he started talking. 
"You like that, whore? You like feeling my hands on you out here in this dirty bathroom." You clenched around nothing, even as his hands trailed lower, reaching the top of your skirt just as you replied. 
"Yes, I like that, Daddy. Please touch me more." 
You crashed together again, even as Spencer's hand fell inside your skirt and panties suddenly reaching for your clit. You forgot everything. The bathroom, the unsub, the wire you were wearing. When his hands were on you your only thoughts were him. 
You gasped in delight as he began rubbing you, moaning out heartily, not bothering to restrain your voice. Even if there was not a murderer on the other side of the door, you'd have wanted everyone to know how good he was making you feel. 
"Kneel," he says, and you listen, getting down to the dirty floor for him and looking up at him innocently.
"Now what, sir?" You ask, teasing him with a smile. He gives your face a light slap in reply, but the sound is sharp, and you can hear some movement outside. You don't get to think about it for too long, however, as he suddenly removes his cock from his pants. 
"Suck" is all the instruction you need before you're taking him into your mouth and wrapping your tongue around him. 
After the entire night of teasing, you don't have to be told twice. You take him down your throat until you're gagging, but he puts his hands on your head and pushes you further anyway. 
"That's it, baby, such a nice little slut just for me." He holds your hair as he begins fucking your face, softly whispering insults into the quiet bathroom. 
"Perfect little slut, letting me do this here. For anyone to see and hear how much you like my dick down your throat. I should unlock this door, show everyone how nicely you take my cock."
You moan around him, desperately gripping his thigh as you struggle to breathe. He finally pulls out, pulling you up by your hair until you're face to face with him again, saliva dripping from your mouth. 
"Is that how you like it?" He asks, and you nod fervently.
"Yes, sir. Please fuck me now, I've been such a good little girl." 
He turns you and presses you against the door again. As you turn your ear to it, you can hear some pacing outside of it as he lifts up your skirt.
You were ready to feel this perfect bliss, right up to the moment Morgan decided to remind you of the task at hand. 
"Hotch is here. We've got him cornered. Great acting, guys. We're thinking if Y/N exits the bathroom now, we can catch him trying to carry her off." 
His hands stilled on you, and you both stared guiltily into each other's eyes. You kept your sounds up, definitely acting now, feeling as though you'd just been doused in ice-cold water.
Footsteps retreating down the hall had you suddenly nodding in response to each other, faking your orgasm with one last large gasp followed by a few minutes of silence and you straightened your clothes ready to bait the unsub once again. He tucks himself into his pants, and you loudly discuss your plans for separate exits. 
"I'll meet you back at the table in five." He says, and with another lingering look, you're out the door and alone in the dark corridor, feeling empty and needy.
It was time to catch a killer.
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