#it's part of the ''gatekeeping'' that a lot of people experience when trying to get into fandoms dominated by men

[kinnoth]

If I see ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON be like "well I played and finished the dlc, but I'll wait to draw my conclusions about the lore until after the vaati video comes out"

FUCKING WHAT. It's not vaati's fucking lore! That man is just another fan, just like you! He is not your authority!!! Fucking dig up your own lore! All the information you need is there! Walk around the fucking game, open your eyeballs, and draw your own fucking conclusions!!!!!

I swear to fucking God you are all such cowards about "getting it wrong" that you are denying yourself half the fucking experience of the game by refusing to engage with the lore until someone tells you what to think about it.

Get your heads out of your asses!!!!!

[transandrobroism]

notes/replies on that last post (about Florida moving to ban all HRT for adults) suggest it was struck down by a judge, which is a relief obviously. but i do wanna pick up on the response being "set up DIY networks for HRT! organise and help each other!" which is cool and all but... as the latest reblog comment points out, T is a controlled drug.

some quick and dirty googling confirms testosterone is a Schedule III controlled drug in the USA, with most legal sources suggesting possession and/or distribution of Schedule III drugs is a 3rd degree felony. conviction can mean up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. crucially, in Florida (where this law was intended to come into force), selling or distributing a Schedule III drug to minors pushes it up to a 2nd degree felony with a harsher fine/sentence.

i make this point because the response to HRT being restricted is often some variation of "mutual aid DIY network" or just flat suggesting DIY to people as the solution. which is cool if you're on estrogen, but possessing testosterone without a prescription is a literal felony in the USA. T is also a controlled drug in the UK, where trans people face long waiting lists for HRT - it's not illegal to possess T for personal use, but it is illegal to get them sent to you from abroad (importing a controlled drug) and to give them to other people (supply). to legally get T you need a prescription from a doctor.

in a hostile transphobic environment there is no guarantee that prosecuters will decide not to charge trans people for DIYing HRT. "set up DIY networks" for transmascs basically translates to "set up an illegal drug ring".

this is a form of transphobia that affects transmascs but does not affect transfems. it also affects nonbinary and intersex folks seeking or using testosterone HRT. in fact it could potentially impact some nonbinary trans folks worse because the medical gatekeeping around trying to transition as nonbinary is already an uphill struggle.

it is not easy for those of us on T to just DIY it and fuck the system. without a valid prescription our HRT becomes a banned illegal steroid that can land us in serious legal trouble if we get caught, especially if we're distributing it to other people as part of a mutual aid setup. i know we're all very "be gay do crime" for the memes but we are talking about an actual factual go-to-jail-irl crime here.

the fact that our HRT is an illegal drug unless prescribed by a doctor is a form of transandrophobia that affects trans men, transmascs, nonbinary people on masculinising HRT, and intersex people who want or need testosterone. it means that:

we cannot DIY transition without committing a crime, and have to weigh up that risk when considering DIY as an option

setting up a mutual aid testosterone DIY network is even more of a crime, especially if you want to use it to help trans teens

we are thus more dependent on placating medical practitioners and convincing them to prescribe us HRT

we will always be more impacted by any moves to restrict or delay access to HRT because we don't have an easy, legal DIY option

when access to HRT is limited for transphobic reasons, the DIY option comes at much higher risk

where access to HRT is severely delayed (as it is in the UK by years-long waiting lists), it is easier for transfems to start DIYing while they wait than it is for transmascs to do the same thing. in fact in the UK they've started selling estrogen HRT over the counter for menopause, so here if you want to start estrogen DIY all you have to do is get a cis lady friend to ask a pharmacist for menopause treatments. if you wanna start T you have to go on the fucking dark web (I'm exaggerating but... not a lot)

none of this is intended to suggest that transfems don't experience medical transphobia or gatekeeping and this isn't a "trans men have it worse universally across the board" post. there are undoubtedly some areas where it's harder to be transfem. however, this is one area where it is clearly and demonstrably harder to be a trans man. i am pointing this out because i keep seeing people saying that transmascs have it easier or there's no systemic or structural transphobia targeting trans men or we only ever experience misdirected misogyny or whatever. here is your proof that that is not true. this is a form of structural and systemic transphobia that impacts trans men and not trans women. and there is no possible world in which you can argue that testosterone being a controlled drug is somehow misogyny.

[spacebunniezzz]

I've been into scene and emo music and fashion since I was very young and I'm currently 22 years old and let me just say that me and my friend who was scene growing up would have been listening to 6arelyhuman's music.

(While scene music is made up of crunkcore, electronicore, metalcore and pop punk specifically neon pop punk lots of people just call it scene music to keep things short and simple so thats what I'm doing :3)

People have considered s3rl's music has been popular in the scene while being considered to be scene music and Nevershoutnever's music is also popular in the scene and considered scene music and Brokencyde's music is scene yet all of those artists are so different from each other so why isn't 6arelyhuman's music scene music? Because it definitely is. Scene music isn't just made up of one genre.

(Even Kesha's music was super popular in the scene community! :3)

Its okay to say you don't like 6arelyhuman's music but it definitely is scene and I feel like one of the issues we have is how we really like to box things in nowadays and we just end up gatekeeping more than we really should and in the end things become more complicated and lots of fighting and we see people arguing over stuff that is very silly.

I am personally tired of constantly putting things and creativity in restraining boxes when it doesn't make any sense or i know that it feels wrong. That's not because I'm trying to be better than anyone but because I have lots of experience because this has been something I have been into for a long time and experienced growing up.

I also feel that we don't talk enough about how the scene intersects a lot. Pop punk bands have made emo songs, pop punk bands have been considered scene, both scene and emo kids listen to post hardcore and metalcore etc. Like it intersects A LOT and a lot of these bands in the scene have also toured together and have been in festivals together like Warped Tour.

(6arelyhuman definitely would have been playing on Warped Tour if they made music back when Warped Tour was alive and active :3)

I'm just tired of seeing the gatekeeping and the arguing, I've seen this so many times in the past especially in the emo community and I'm tired of seeing it everywhere and it's sad seeing it still happen. It reminds me of when I see metalheads gatekeep on Facebook lolz! I want to add that I'm not trying to shame those who say these types of things because I know that they are most likely minors who are still new to the scene and are just trying to find their way around and are still learning and looking for advice, I used to be exactly like that but as someone who has been into this stuff for a long time I just felt like I needed to speak up. This has been a huge part of my life and has been my special interest for so long and the urge to want to say something has been craaaaazzzzyyyy lolz!

Another thing I want to add is that there is nothing bad about growth and change either even if it can be scary at times, sometimes it's not always a bad thing and is needed for a community to continue to thrive. Artists like 6arelyhuman help people get into the scene and get into other scene and emo artists.

And that's a good thing :3

So let's encourage growth, change and inclusion. That's what the scene should be about <3

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

how do you feel about minors reading your fics or fics which might contain more explicit topics (be it substance abuse, heavy topics like eating disorders etc, and of course sexual topics). there has been conversation in other fandoms I am in on these and a lot of "adults" (I say adults bcs some of them are 23-25 which from my perspective is like oh you sweet summer child) are saying minors should not interact with their content, should not comment/bookmark/reblog, should not send them asks (anon or not) on their stuff with some of them saying they are ready to block individual suspects (aka minors who interact) in order to prevent them. and idk my perspective is that I wouldn't want to alienate anyone from the fandom, but would much rather focus on curating a good fandom experience and making sure young people dont take away too much from these fanfics because it is all fiction after all.

the reason i ask is because you are (i think) 7 years older than me but have been an integral part of my experience in the jily/marauders fandom since i was like quite young?

I think it's not up to me to check on what age my readers are or gatekeep my writing from anyone, and the same goes for any other writer. I write what I want to write, I stick the appropriate age label on AO3 and once it's out there in the world it's the reader/reader's parents' responsibility to seek out suitable material. When it comes to my writing specifically, if there are underage kids reading my fics, I'm not worried about that because my content is comparatively quite wholesome and the message I always try to instill is that an aspirational romantic relationship is one where kindness and respect, and not toxic, controlling behaviours, are key. I don't think there's any detriment to reading content like that, in fact I wish it was a more popular aspect of romance fiction in general (which is part of a wider conversation about what kind of behaviour is romanticised in fiction, but ultimately any writer is free to write whatever the hell they want). On a wider scale, when it comes to fandom in general, it's up to parents and guardians to talk to their kids about what they're read and what messages they're taking away from any media they consume. I'm a parent and I would never ever consider it a creator's responsibility to monitor what my child is doing, because it isn't their responsibility, it's mine, and I'm not here to be anyone else's mommy. If I get an ask from a 15 year old who tells me they love my fics, I'm happy that I've written something that brings them happiness, and I'm not going to alienate them, scold them, or talk down to them simply for being young.

[americascomic]

Hello. I sat here for a good 30 minutes trying to think of best how to ask this question without giving the online version of an annoying exposition dump, so I hope this somewhat makes sense: I’ve found myself, increasingly, having conversations with the more tenderqueer-esque queers in my life surrounding slurs- specifically slurs like faggot and tranny. I’m a trans guy, and I was told by another trans guy of the genre of person i just mentioned that only gay men can reclaim the word faggot, and trans women can reclaim the word tranny. I thought this was a stupid and gatekeep-y idea, and told him so, but i have been genuinely wondering if this is just a manifestation of terminally online induced queer infighting or a form of ignorant transmisogyny on my part. Is tranny a slur directed at and only to be reclaimed by trans women? Or is it just another tick in the barrel of a long line of slur speciation discourse?

I think the short answer of who can say what slur is "this is terminally online bullshit"

And my second answer is "this is a conversation that mostly people under the age of 30 have, and people mostly online have." I think the age is important - it's feels like it's a developmental phase a lot of queers go through, where they negotiate their identity." So, like I'm patient (if a little irked) when I see it on my feed. Or hear some dipshit socially awkward t-femme at Bluestockings rudely chime in to a conversation I'm having with a friend.

and I sometimes put it as a hypothetical;

I'm telling you right now, as a trans woman, in my lived experience, people of your exact intersecting identities are only allowed to say the word "tranny" on a Tuesday and "faggot" on a Friday. If you forget, remember 'tranny' and 'Tuesday' starts with 'T' and 'faggot' and 'Friday' starts with 'F'

Like, that's absurd for me to ask. And so I think that kind of forces the thought that at the end of the day I'm the one asking it. There'll be no consensus on this issue.; you have to decide for yourself whatever or not to respect one point of view over the other.

We say "listen to black people" but I had this moment in my life where IRL I did a call-out of Nazis in my community and a Black friend told me that I was talking over people of color and another thanked me for speaking up in a way that they wouldn't be listened to. Who is right? Neither. Both. You have to decide for yourself and have a strong sense of race. Same with interacting with our own queer community.

Who can say what queer slur where and when is a thing that can never be litigated online. It's such an interpersonal person-to-person thing. There's no pundit square that can fit all slurs and all identities and all experiences.

in the case of the teen in the previous story who told me not to use the word "tranny," I immediately retorted that people say that word to me on the street and spit at me, which means they recognize it as a thing of power and so I will use that power. And I don't think she'd ever had copped to it, but I think changed her mind because she was saying "tranny" over the next months.

I think for some of this shit, us trans women policing who can say "tranny" is us just doing a proxy war for transmisogny. Like, we get transmisogny in our community, an AFAB person queer person of some type who could probably leverage their privilege against us says "tranny," I can see it irking some. But, have you met a trans woman? Everything irks us. We're reprehensible.

And, I think in terms of your conversation and your friend. I dunno, I think of who-gets-to-be-lesbian discourse. I see so many people online twist in the wind trying to justify to others that they're a trans masc lesbian, or a non-binary lesbian or a bisexual lesbian and I'm kinda sitting there on my ass wondering why they're trying so hard to get probably the dumbest people online to justify our identity. Like, we're hear, we're queer, get used to it. I sometimes feel of the matter that we're all a mass medium as one and just going about shit without apology as a way to force people to confront our humanity.

Iffen you want my personal feelings on the matter, you're just as impacted by the codified violence of the state that's imposed on us and so we're all faggots at the end of the day. But the t-girl sitting next to me might feel differently, and you have to negotiate with that. Sometimes times calls for moments of respect and sometimes it's a matter of saying "fuck it" and doing the thing you know how it is.

If you would like, I can draw you a card that says "Amber, a hot trans woman, says I can say 'faggot'"

Finally, I'll say I wrote a couple paragraphs for you so I'm going to force you to return the favor and just challenge you to sit on your ass and ask yourself in honest ways what the word means and what it means to you and what's beautiful and what's ugly about the word. That - an internal process - a lot more valuable thing worth to litigate then everybody in-community being cops to each other.

And then after that, I always like to challenge people to look beyond the debate. This post I made on the matter is about a dead trans teen. It's nice to debate words, but it's also nice to look out at our wonderful, annoying community, name problems we see that creates material struggle, and then imagine solutions.

[not-goldy]

Thank you for your answer, I get it on some level. I’ve listened to their music for a while now but am new to this whole shipping thing, and it’s a wild ride for sure. Out of interest, which songs do people think are about JM? Apart from their actual song Friends? Why does part of me think that if this is the case maybe Tae needs new inspiration for his work or something. Someone of his own to love. He didn’t write he album though did he? It’s a crazy world out there I guess I didn’t release that a member would fuel the shipping wars, so wow if he does that.

It depends on how delusional one is. Could be a few or all of them if you're deranged 🤷🏾

I like to think of myself as moderately delusional so I stick to the basics.

You can check out his song about writing a letter to the moon which was inspired by a time he was alone in the park with Jimin late into the night

From 4'Oclock.

Other than the setting and moon references, he actually ever did write a letter to Jimin which he cried while reading it to him. He poured out his heart in that letter. Here, read it and cry

And theres one song he complained he wrote with the intention of singing it withJimin but a producer thought putting Jimin on it would be gay due to the lyrics.

Don't want to talk about the others cos it may sound controversial but do have a listen for yourself. And be mindful of the Jimin "symbolisms" or at least I like to call them that.

Whenever he talks about the moon in his songs we make the connection to Jimin- its obvious now due to JMs moon tattoos but there was a time people thought that was reaching.

The moonchild is Jimin. And it's not far fetched cos V is the same person who shared fan art of Jimin with the moon tats that he's currently spotting and all. Meaning he understands the connection between JM and the moon.

This has nothing to do with his songs but he used to complain a lot about a certain member gatekeeping Jimin to himself and not allowing him and Jimin to hang out. So for me when this theme recurrs in his music I feel he's alluding to Jimin cos why not dudes a menace🤣

Let's give Tae some credit. Don't blindly buy into the hateful rhetorics people spew about him.

He exposed the company for dragging their feet before allowing JM to debut. Exposed them for their homophobia towards Jimin. If anyone moves funny with Jimin trust him to expose them one way or the other. I'll actually bet my life on this.

Perhaps you should look into their friendship. V can be chaotic but he's loved Jimin so hard too and when he says he loves Jimin the most I don't think he's lying .

Jimin has a special place in his heart. Perhaps because he says Jimin was the one who showed up and out for him when his granny passed. I think he's going to be eternally grateful to JM for that.

Don't hate on Tae or Judge him based on his quirks. He's not one to fake his feelings so sometimes when he's annoyed with Jimin you can pick up on that energy. It doesn't mean he's evil. He just have bad days too.

Unfortunately the Fandom isn't as forgiving and would tear him apart for the least funny feelings towards Jimin.

They are friends.they are allowed to fight and make up. We shouldn't hold that over their heads when they "fight" argue or have a misunderstanding. Leave them room and space within their friendship to be ghetto with eachother. What matters is the bond they share the growth they experience as friends and how pure they try to be with eachother.

They are a work in progress

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/739335177994747904/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic739061849135#notes

I'm the anon on this post. I fully get the point here in this person's reblog and your addition, and I can see how my ask came across as gatekeeping, but I think what I meant more was in response to the previous anon (that Il inked) seeming to think that a LOT of hetero men needed to enter fandom for F/F to become more popular. As I said, there is some good F/F content written by men; I encountered that even in the brony fandom. (That said, that was a fandom where I very strongly was NOT interested in smut, which is not the case with most of my other F/F fandoms, so that's probably part of what influenced my preferences there.) Like, there was a lot of garbage, but there was so much content that there happened to be a decent amount of good stuff as well even following Sturgeon's Law.

I think what I meant more was disagreeing with the idea that the "solution" to lack of F/F is to have fanfiction become a *much* dudier space. I was trying to give my experience of having been in a fandom like that to suggest that it's a very fundamentally different experience than the generally less-dudey places that fanfiction fandom is in most fandoms, and I don't know that that's necessarily better just because we get more F/F, because in effect it still ends up marginalizing lesbian and bi women F/F fans because so much of the content is not only not for us, but often even hostile to us. (In a very different way from the arguments that are made about women writing M/M, where a lot of it is just stuff that isn't what gay/bi men are looking for. I'm sure any lesbian or bi woman who has had to deal with the kind of men who have lesbian fetishes irl, on dating sites, etc. can relate, but I really hate when people compare those things because it is truly apples and oranges.)

I hope I'm being clear, but I just think there's a distinction to be made between "I do not want F/F fanfiction fandom to become a *primarily* male space, and I think there are some big downsides that people who've never been in a fandom like that haven't seen" vs. "We need to gatekeep F/F so it's exclusively queer women writing it." I'm fine with some guys doing it, of course, but I don't think the fact that fanfiction is a primarily female and queer and nonbinary space is a "problem" to be "fixed" even if it means less F/F. I think that's a big part of the draw, in fact. That's what I was trying to say, but maybe not very well.

--

I think the point of the other comment isn't so much that anyone wants fic fandom to become dude-y... It's that for f/f numbers to look like m/m numbers, you'd have to have the reverse situation.

Whether that's desirable is another question, but it puts the endless focus on stats and numbers into perspective.

I don't think we really disagree all that much. They were just putting it provocatively to get people to think about why they waste their time yelling about AO3's overall stats "looking bad" and what the so-called solution to that would be.

It's pretty much bait is what I'm saying.

--

Obviously, as a woman, I only rarely encounter women who are mega annoying about gay men and reasonably often encounter those pestilential men in bars who think "bisexual" means "porn star who wants a threesome". I certainly think they're more of an actual problem IRL... but I'm still not convinced it is entirely apples to oranges when we're discussing online fanfic spaces or... like... stories with plots more complex than "I'm here to fix your plumbing".

Ranma fandom was full of dudes writing f/f that was a little anatomically suspect but reasonably in-character and that sounded like other fanfic with the usual "I like this blorbo and want more content about them" motivations. I haven't seen many fandoms like this, but I run across one now and then. (I agree MLP is fairly distinctive even out of these.)

--

I think the basic thing here is that a lot of (hostile, loud) people do see the absolute f/f numbers as the problem to be fixed.

And you are right and they are wrong.

There is no real fix if people keep looking at it from this "Winning at AO3 numbers" perspective. The cure would be worse than the disease for many of the people complaining.

Better to focus on the usual "How do I get my specific blorbo to have more content by encouraging authors and writing it myself?" strategies and let someone else worry about the global AO3 numbers.

[rerinko]

May have slight grammatical errors. I'm going over it soon!

On Comphet, Compallo and Biphobia

Since writing my last essay I've had the pleasure of being exposed to some great questions that got me thinking. If the root of comphet is about not liking men and being in a patriarchal heteronormative society wouldn't Asexual or Ace/Aro women also experience comphet. When I first heard this, I thought it was very interesting and brought up a very good point. As I thought about it more, the one thing that came to mind about why their experience wouldn't exactly line up with comphet was comphet along with being about the lack of attraction to men and living in heteronormative patriarchal society is about lesbiphobia and the demonization of lesbians and lesbian relationships. Luckily I was able to hear the perspectives of a few ace lesbians but also a few non lesbian ace/aro people. They brought up a term that I hadn't previously heard of before “compallo”. Compallo is the compulsion to feel romantic or sexual feelings. The difference between comphet and compallo is that compallo is rooted in the compulsion to have romantic feelings while comphet is the compulsion to be heterosexual. Because we live in a heteronormative society, people who experience compallo will most likely “choose” to be in a heterosexual relationship or fake heterosexual romantic feelings. On the other hand I as a lesbian would experience comphet but not compallo. Although I am forcing myself to have romantic feelings when I don't it's rooted in being a lesbian not being asexual. It may seem similar but it's not the correct term to label my experience or other allosexual lesbians experiences.

I think the struggles of asexuals often get looked over. As I've been exposed to more asexual people and their experience I learned about things I would have never realized on my own. Asexuals are taught they're broken for not experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. We're taught romantic and sexual feelings are natural which is true the majority of people do have sexual attraction and that's completely okay. What's true at the same time is that there are people who don't. They're not broken, they don't need to be fixed and they're not making it up for attention.

I see a lot of people debating on the topic if asexuality should be a part of the LGBTQ. In my opinion if any group feels safe, feels seen and can relate to the queer experience they should be considered a part of the community. Who alone can really decide what's queer or not. Asexuals are considered broken and strange by society and what could be more queer than that. I think rather than trying to gatekeep who can call themselves queer we should focus on supporting queer people and validating our different experiences.

I also have seen people talking about why do we even need these terms and distinctions in the first place? My personal belief is we need certain terms to describe unique experiences because they summarize a complex topic within a word or two. Instead of having to explain my feelings of comphet I can simply say I experience comphet and people will understand what that means. Terms like comphet or compallo aren't meant to separate and categorize queer people but instead to highlight unique experiences of certain groups. Focusing on one group's issues doesn't make other issues less important. Saying comphet is a lesbian unique experience doesn't downplay the experience bisexual women have in a heteronormative society. As I've said before bisexual women and lesbians share the pain and pleasure of loving women but bisexual women don't understand the pain of not liking men. Even if you lean towards women you are still bisexual and you still can experience sexual attraction towards men. Lesbians never will have that option. For me coming to terms I didn't like men was harder than coming to terms with the fact I liked women's Bisexual women also go through their own unique experience lesbians don't go through. As someone who has never dated men I have never gone through all of the difficulties of dating men as a queer woman. I also can't relate to the biphobia bi women may experience from people within their own community.

I want to be 100% clear that bisexual women aren't any less queer than lesbians and they are a very important part of the queer community. I also don't want to diminish the biphobia they experience. No matter if a bisexual woman is in a straight or a lesbian relationship they're still bisexual. I know the statistics that bi women are disproportionately victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Bi women have their own experience and lesbians have their own experience and both can relate to each other while realizing they live two different experiences.

If anyone is ace/aro I would love to hear more about your experiences. A lot of this information is new to me. If you feel like I misrepresented something don't be shy to reach out!

[enigma-the-mysterious]

Hi! New here. And I have some stuff to ask from you if that's ok (you seemed the most qualified)

If I'm not wrong, you are a Hindu but a Dalit. What are your thoughts on revision of scriptures? Is it of any help? If not what can be done by us (I'm a Hindu and a Brahmin) to make Hinduism less hostile to Dalits? Cos trust me I have read the scripts and um they are problematic when it comes to this and I find that I can't lie to myself anymore without hindering my journey in faith.

I would love your inputs and am always open to discuss stuff.

All my love 💕

Eh, I wouldn't exactly call myself the "most qualified", I am sure there are other people who have studied these things more extensively and are in a better position to answer these. I am just some gal.

What I can do, is talk about my personal experiences. Like you said, I am a Hindu. I am a Dalit. My relationship with my religion is complex. My faith gave me hope and light when I was at the lowest in my life and it still does. My faith and my beliefs have never really been contingent on any scriptures. Truth be told, I have hardly read any of them. I know they are problematic and the so-called "rules" or "dharma" everyone must abide by are definitely a relic from a bygone era. It doesn't matter to me what the scriptures say, it has never mattered to me. My relationship to my God is highly personal and no text in the world, no so-called "dharma-adhikari" can dictate it.

Does that mean it has always been roses and peaches in my relationship to my religion? Nope. The Uttar Ramayan, for instance, makes me highly uncomfortable as both a woman and a Dalit. I know there are debates about it not being a part of the original Ramayan but well.... It makes me so uncomfortable that, I personally cannot respect Ram as a God anymore. A flawed ruler? Maybe? A God? Nope

So, like I said, I personally don't care much about the scriptures. 'Cause at the end of the day, they are just that- texts on papers.

As to whether I think if revision of texts will help with the currently prevailing discrimination against Dalits, the short answer is no. Long answer? I have spoken about it in more detail (and with a lot more anger and frustration, I guess) here. Advocate for their basic human rights instead. Talk about how practising religious "customs" shouldn't mean that you get to insult someone's basic dignity. Work for changing the present and the future, right now, instead of trying to change the past.

Anyway, I don't think that was very coherent. But I hope I was able to answer some of your questions at least. Thank you for dropping by my askbox <3

EDIT TO ADD: Also, as to make Hinduism less hostile for Dalits, just let them exist in peace? Many Dalits are Hindu, many aren't (you can guess why). When Hindu Dalits want to enter temples and pray to their Gods, just let them? Don't act like a Dalit entering a temple is the end of the world. Don't gatekeep their faith. Just allow them to exist in public places (including temples) in peace

[doctordragon]

TW: institutionalization, assault, transandrophobia, drugging mention

When I was institutionalized, I was violently thrown to the ground and held down by a grown man (I was a minor at the time) because I didn't want to stand in the 'right gendered line' (the facility had 'mixed genders' but they separated boys and girls in different parts of the same room. Couldn't sit on the same couch, or stand in the same line). Afterwards I was cornered and threatened with another violent assault and drugging if I didn't 'behave' (I was never been violent or aggressive the entire time, I just didn't want to stand in the line of my agab, and was even willing to compromise and stand and sit on my own but they weren't willing to compromise with me) by the man who assaulted me.

The kicker? I'm "tme", the staff knew I was afab (and deadnamed and misgendered the whole time too), I'd not even started hormones so I looked at most like a tomboy. But of course I could never understand how evil mental health facilities could be (never mind the long history of punishing and institutionalizing gender non-conformity in afab people, the trans community supports erasure apparently)

Afterwards they told me it was to protect me. Violently assaulting me to "protect" me, that's something distinct about transandrophobia. Had I been transfem, I think it still would have happened, but then they'd try to justify it by saying they're just trying to protect the girls from me. Because transfems are seen as a danger, and transmascs are seen as stupid girls putting themselves in danger (and of course it's okay to hurt them because 'that's what they signed up for', sigh)

My sincerest apologies if this ended up more like a traumadump than an addition which is what it's intended to be. Just know you are not alone.

That's beyond horrific and I'm sorry something awful like that happened to you. Transandrophobia in the healthcare industry is a rampant issue. I have a lot of transmasc friends and pretty much all of them have experienced some sort of medical gatekeeping or violence based on their gender. A lot of it is to "protect" us as well, like T being a controlled substance to protect poor lost women from themselves. As I type this out, I'm almost on my fourth year uninsured without a PCP and unable to get the top surgery I need because my state has a PCP shortage and I'm struggling to find one that will do trans healthcare. I can't get the healthcare I need (stuff that is unrelated to my transness) because I am transgender.

People who use "TME/TMA" repeatedly demonstrate that they don't understand the difficulty of simply existing in the modern world as a trans man. They don't understand that while trans women face their own unique oppression, trans men do as well. We should be focusing on the similarities of our issues, because I always end up relating heavily to my sisters far more than finding I can't understand.

Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to hear your similar experiences and know I'm not alone in my trauma.

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 13

Someone should've renamed this "backtracking, the plot."

MAIN STORY

I'm actually excited for this chapter because Ferdinand is the most interesting part of it.

Ok, so TWSITD didn't want to avoid unification (which I'm sure they either want or don't care about), but only caused the ruckus to try and take the Empire over.

She's . . . pink. Why is she pink? (some random Empire general)

Is it wrong to see Ferdinand's looks in the future when I see Aegir? Seems like baldness runs in the family. As long as he avoids that mustache . . .

Can someone remind me, did Edelgard not arrest Aegir or not kill him? Or did he run away.

Aegir kinda twisted. Insisting Ferdinand kills him. That's fucked up.

Oh, kk, he escaped. (Aegir)

This is like a giant teaser of what SB could've been if it stuck to Empire and TWSITD stuff and wasn't "Edelgard backtracks: the conquest 2.0 - the boring as fuck version).

MAP/SIDE BATTLES

Can Edelgard just once have a plan for her government before invading all the other nations and getting a lot of innocent people killed (Dorothea said she's still working out what to replace nobles with)

Hunh, I'm impressed. Not going to lie, but Balthus wasn't making a great impression on me, but he's worried that a man he owes a debt too will fall in battle while fighting alongside the enemy. He actually wants to pay the man back and not this get out of jail free card. I like that.

Ashe asked Shez for help restoring Hrym territory. Ashe wants them to have their lives back. I was a dick and said no though bc I could and found that funny.

Fort Mercius has a convenient sneaky point, bc of course it does. Otherwise we'd have to siege warfare which was boring as fuck in real life.

Of course, only Dorothea cares about the hostages. Ferdinand will magically not let it happen. How? Who knows.

SHEZ & MONICA A

Ugh.

Monica keeps track of how many times Edelgard drinks tea, what she eats, when she eats, all her sighs, etc . . .

She needs a restraining order.

Edelgard did the world a favor when she let TWSITD kill Monica.

SHEZ & DOROTHEA B

Nobles gave Shez a tea party after he helped them out, and he doesn't know what to make of it and can't tell if he likes it.

Dorothea ties that to arguing that commoners should get to enjoy all of life's goods. Shez can counterpoint that they don't miss it if they don't know what they're missing.

Dorothea then talks about her love of singing and laments that only rich people get to hear her sing.

This is actually kind of interesting (if it goes there, but I doubt it). Dorothea wants the commoners to enjoy everything the rich get, yet benefits from an organization that raises the prices so high only the rich gets to enjoy her voice. Dorothea could just as easily go sing in taverns or more accessible places, but she doesn't. And because she doesn't she got wealthy and well connected. So she's actively choosing to participate in and benefit from the system that gatekeeps poor people from enjoying things. I don't hate the player, but it will be cool to see if she has some level of self-awareness about this.

SHEZ & EDELGARD A

They talk about how Shez having the same powers as TWSITD helps him identify TWSITD better than anyone else.

Edelgard credits this with her ability to get rid of them in SB (obviously contrasting to Byleth and CF)

So Edelgard had 2 choices: she could either focus on getting rid of TWSITD and sparing her citizens from their cruelty or start a war and choose the later, lamo. Like, imagine looking at your country and seeing that it's corrupted by an insane death cult running experiments on your own citizens and think "yeah, this is solid foundation to rely on for rebuilding a new world and rule over all the other countries." It's so idiotic. TWSITD really hurts Edelgard's writing and this game really exposes that. Which is funny since they likely got invented to shift blame away from her lol.

Shez says he joined Edelgard because the Empire was rich and she complimented him, unlike other nobles (but pretty sure EVERYONE complimented him because self-insert). So the game's got nothing.

SHEZ & HUBERT A

So many Shez supports back-to-back

Hubert scares/surprises Shez, then questions him about TWSITD.

Hubert's upset that they didn't reach out to Shez as an ally, and I can get mad at his mistrust. Def picking that one.

Hubert owns it at least.

He tries to complement Shez, but I'm able to not believe him, so I don't.

Hubert can sense Arval and is concerned about it. Shez doesn't trust Hubert about Arval.

Does that mean Hubert senses Sothis? Or is this a plot-hole? Or can he only sense TWSITD?

SHEZ & CONSTANCE C

Constance is talking his ear off about restoring House Nuvelle by discovering more magic. And Shez is the test subject of her research lol.

Shez refuses and Constance can't comprehend.

Shez suggests she try to establish herself in battle instead. But Constance turns that down.

I think it's because of her night-day thing. Also, I may have seen this support before? I'm not sure.

MERCEDES & LYSITHEA C

Funny, you can only get this support in SB and neither are Black Eagles.

"I'm not a child!!!" vs mothering everyone

Lysithea trained so hard she collapsed and Mercedes took care of her. Lysithea is horrified to learn that she slept too long.

Mercie backed her cookies, because of course she did. And sweets are Lysithea's secret weakness so . . .

Lysithea assumes Mercie has bad intentions. Why is she always so insufferable?

Mercie's cookies are good. Lysithea acts like a complete brat, demanding Mercie train her right now how to make the cookies.

PETRA & CASPAR A

Ok, this one should be better. I love Mercie, but that support had 0 new things in it.

Petra challenges Caspar's father to a duel. Yeah, way more intense than the first one.

And . . . the asshole won't even show up. Or, I guess Caspar stole is before his dad saw it. Petra's pissed. Rightfully so.

Caspar also assumes Petra would just lose. What an ass.

So Petra says she'll just kill Caspar instead.

She takes him down, but won't strike the killing blow.

Petra's upset she lost control of her emotions.

Petra decides to pull back because she's a queen (in secret) and she can't act on her personal feelings.

She doesn't fully understand why she challenged his father to a duel.

Caspar volunteers to let Petra dump her negative emotions about this on Caspar. Petra's not sure she wants a friendship like that, but says she'll give it thought.

I did like that support, but I wish she was allowed to call out the Empire more.

SHEZ & JERITZA A

Jeritza is hunting a cat that raided the pantry because she was injured.

Last time they talked, Shez assumed Jeritza was talking about a person, not a cat.

Jeritza likes cats because he used to have one. And now he wants to own this one. But she dislikes Jeritza.

HUBERT & BERNADETTA C

Bummed this is their only support. They were cute together in House.

Bernadetta is moving boxes of documents around. They're about bandit activity in the area. Hubert's investigating.

He's annoyed at the army's inability to catch them. Bernadetta assumes he's angry with her, but calms down.

Funniest line is Hubert telling her that her persistence often leads to exactly what she's trying to avoid lol. His VA is so good.

Hubert calls them rats. Like Dimitri did lamo.

Hubert is upset they may go back into hiding. Bernadetta sympathizes with the bandits lol.

It inspires Hubert to set something up that would make them come out.

HUBERT & LYSITHEA A

Isn't this the support chain that told us the Imperial army won't eat their veggies? lamo

Lysithea is enjoying sweets. Hubert offers her coffee. She turns it down because it's not sweet. Hubert baits her into drinking it by implying that drinking coffee means you're not a child.

She doesn't like drinking it black, but Hubert tells her that sweeten it up and she may like it.

Lysithea asks Hubert why he's nice to her since he's mean to everyone else. It's because he has a younger sister that Lysithea reminds him of.

Did he have one in Houses? Or did they just pop up when convenient like Edelgard's siblings?

Hubert doesn't tell anyone about the siblings. I wonder if Edelgard knows.

Because he sees her like a little sister, Lysithea accepts it.

MERCEDES & CASPAR C

Hope this goes like - Murder isn't funny, Caspar. It isn't? No. Because he's awful in this route.

No, he's just asking Mercedes about Jeritza because he keeps defeating Caspar in bouts.

So Caspar still being painfully one-note and boring.

Mercedes says he can beat Jeritza with baking. Caspar is confused. Until Mercedes clarifies that Jeritza sucks at baking, so Caspar can beat him at baking.

Caspar's upset bc that doesn't matter to him.

LINHARDT & CONSTANCE A

Linhardt has to ask her a question, but she's in the sunlight. He wants to experiments on crests. Constance is fine with it.

Until she's inside. Then she's upset.

Linhardt is taking advantage of her dual personality, avoiding confident Constance because she's difficult to work with.

Kinda skeevy, Linhardt.

Constance demands more equality. If she helps Linhardt with his research, then he must help with hers.

He's actually interested until he learns she wants to find ways for eyes to emit a golden light, and loses interest.

FERDINAND & LYSITHEA A

Ferdinand is worried about Lysithea's future, specifically throwing away her nobility.

He tried to understand her thought process. She's irritated with him. Honestly, same, I think that may be my issue with Ferdinand. I find him irritating.

Ferdinand uncovered Lysithea's secret. She's understandably upset and wants him to leave it be.

Ferdinand wants a solution, Lysithea's like do you think I haven't tried? And do-do bird is like "take action!" Like, this seems like things not to tell someone terminally ill 101.

Though, he brings up magical research. So this may be different.

He found the research on her and they could use that as a way to solve her problem.

She wants to help.

DOROTHEA & MONICA A

Dorothea is wounded, and Monica is worried that Dorothea will get scars to damage her skin.

Creepy moment when Dorothea asks Monica how she knows she has scars. So does this confirm that Monica peeps on people?

Dorothea hesitates to kill a child in battle.

So Dorothea cannonly killed children. I wonder how every Edel-stan who used that to smear Dimitri feels, lamo.

I wish Dimitri and Dorothea got a support. Both hate killing, but keep doing it anyways.

Monica asks why Dorothea keeps killing people. Dorothea feels too tied to her position to go back.

Dorothea admits she could've been that child in another life. So she has no right to run away and hide when the children the Empire is slaughtering don't have that option.

I know some people take issue with this side to Dorothea, but this is what makes me love her. She's the only one who realizes the brutality her side is forcing on other people, she just believes in the cause enough to keep doing it. That conflict makes her so interesting, and if Edelgad had a more justified cause or well-written government plan, Dorothea may have been in competition for my fav, but man does Edelgard's flimsy reasoning for war and bare-bones ideas make this conflict flat-line a bit.

Then they spend the rest of the support simiping for Edelgard. So, Monica's entire personality. That was interesting for like 3 seconds. So a new record for a Monica support.

PETRA & RAPHAEL B

You know it's bad when I fully expect Raphael to have deeper thoughts than Monica.

Raphael fails to hunt. Petra isn't surprised.

Raphael thinks being a bear will help him hunt rabbits, and is shocked when she tells him bears don't hunt.

Petra says Brigid people hunt with subtleness. But Fodlan people use hounds for hunting, which might suit Raphael better.

Raphael now thinks being a wolf will help him hunt instead of bear. So, yeah, deeper thoughts than Monica is capable of.

MAIN BATTLE

Time to kill the rebels.

Try to make sure hostages don't die.

Monica and Hubert have a fight over who gets to suck on Edelgard's toes after the battle (not literally, but might as well). The only non-grating part of it was Monica calling Hubert a coffin-dweller. Which, I mean, accurate.

Shez is the only one that remembers poor Ferdinand's going to kill his dad, lol. Ferdinand says he's ready though.

Oh, cut scene. Ferdinand and Hubert teaming up on Aegir. Hubert "let's" Ferdinand give the final blow.

So Ferdinand kills his bad. This game likes people killing their families. And I bet Aegir's death will get more sympathy than the actually innocent people Edelgard and co mow down every chapter.

Ferdinand needs a moment.

Edelgard is like, could you choose how to punish the traitors and choose the next Duke. Shockingly, the title goes to his son. So much for merit-based promotions, lamo.

So do we go back to beating up poor people in Faerghus now?

Caspar's like, fighting traitors serving a death cults sucks because they're from the Empire. Let's go kill the innocent people in the Kingdom instead! Because that's fun!

Edelgard still suspects Shez. The vibes for Shez are so different in Faerghus. No one gives a shit about Shez in SB.

Oh, yeah, I forgot I didn't get Byleth in this route, lamo.

Arval feels like a proud parent of Shez, lamo.

xxx

[welcome-to-ratterrock]

Do u the creator and Sage has a similar definition for "obsession" with death or death in general?

I think everyone has different or similar definition for that topic but I'm curious on what is Sage pov abt it

Ppl always avoid this topic and they are usually weirded out or get scared when someone talk about it (personal experience, very few ppl are comfortable with that topic and bless their heart for not being scared)

@bajingoarts says:

I was raised really catholic, grew up my whole life learning about resurrections and rebirths. Obsessed with the imagery of our messiah literally suffering and dying on a cross above our heads. I’ve always found death both fascinating and terrifying. To some it’s the beginning, to others an end. To me death is as neutral as the sea. Dangerous and unpredictable yet beautiful and mysterious. 

It doesn’t mean it does not frighten me, it’s natural to fear an end. But the approach and understanding that an end is coming makes me try and appreciate the peace and life I have.

If people stopped obsessing over the afterlife–an idealistic peace after this one and simply view death as a natural end to life…then maybe folks would open their eyes to the random, strange, horrifying, and beautiful realities of the here and now…

I think Locke is a lot like that. Viewing the violent deaths he investigates as the theft of life. He isn’t afraid of death, we all die…but some die unfairly and gruesomely. Locke wants to pick apart the reasons, the motivations, the way someone died…perhaps to better understand how they lived. I think we can all relate to feeling isolated from those around us, I think Locke feels most isolated from the living, and feels he can only relate to them through their death…

It might sound twisted, but I think Locke feels he can better service those who died than he can those who are living. When designing him I wanted him to almost look like he had a skull pattern on his face, like he was a gatekeeper to the afterlife…a reaper who collects lost souls. 

Y’know…a sexy emo boy.

@suzie-guru says:

Ever since a very young age, death and what it truly means has always been something I’ve contemplated. What would it be like, to not be a part of the vibrant rush of the living world, to have my existence truly end? If I am not my body but a soul that resides within it, where would my soul go, what would it perceive? Death awaits me, everyone - it is as natural as the tides of the sea and the phases of the moon. Mortality is a brief and precious flicker of a flame before the certainty of death comes to extinguish it. But what did death actually mean? What happens after we draw our last breath? 

For an undeniable and unavoidable fact of life, one of the key things about death is that what happens after we die is truly unknown. Church told me one thing, then relatives and or friends would tell me another. What did I believe in? Would contemplating something that didn’t align with Christianity mark me out as a failure of faith, unable to go to heaven? At the very least, I knew I wouldn’t be able to experience what I loved, what was comfortable and familiar and known, that which I could somewhat control. Death? That was, is, the ultimate unknown. 

This realization frightened me as a child, and even as an adult I get unsettled when I dwell upon it. I’ve always struggled with the unknown, that which can’t be explained or understood, and I take comfort in what is familiar and understandable. 

But now that I’m older and more mature, along with that unsettledness is an intense appreciation and gratitude to the beauty of life, its pleasures and sensations. I love exploring and celebrating new experiences, whether it’s trying a new drink or traveling to a different country, and I recognize and relish the quiet joys of the day to day, the feeling of sunshine on my skin or the nuzzles my cat gives me. Life is about sensation and we are built to enjoy those sensations. As someone who has been at the lowest of lows because of depression, I very much intend on enjoying what is enjoyable and beautiful about this world with the time that I have. 

Interestingly, that’s a trait I share with Padraic Regal - his lows of life have been so very low, so horrible and heartbreaking, that he’s very much a hedonist now, determined to enjoy the best of the beautiful and bliss inducing things his world has. Though he’s willing to break the law and bend morality to get what he wants, and I’m not (I promise!). He knows how quickly life can turn to death, how a beautiful healthy bloom can wilt and wither, and he wants to make his time on earth something special, experience everything extraordinary and exquisite to the point of ecstasy. 

He, like me, also wants to endure beyond his death, take back some of the total control by having his name live on. As a writer and artist, I want to have my work and the worlds they contain to continue on, be shared by others so that a part of me will still endure, still offer hope and comfort and inspiration and insight. Padraic wants his name to be whispered with awe, and he doesn’t care if it is awed admiration or fear. Both of us want to create something that will stand the test of time, do something meaningful and worthwhile with our lives before it is our time to go. Vita brevis, ars longa. Life is short, but art is eternal. For me, my art is literally that, art. For Padraic, his art is his profession, his criminal genius. Perhaps both of us are motivated by that unspoken promise of the briefness of mortality…

[anendoandfriendo]

So, we have a LOT of gripes with this post but more just want to address then individually without giving the OP any harassment so:

These first and second paragraphs is fine honestly, we won't tell people how they should feel about their own experiences.

The problem starts at the next part where OP starts trying to tell people how they should feel about their own brain.

--------

Also we just REALLY need to get this out of the way woth no other comments —

"We don't label [implied word is diagnose] personality types"

LMAO try saying that to uhhhh — *checks notes* — people with PERSONALITY DISORDERS.

--------

People who generally live life functionally but who every now and then are reminded that they’re disabled and need help in very specific situations. Like somebody who doesn’t struggle much socially and who doesn’t need supports at school or work but who sometimes doesn’t have as much energy for doing the dishes because they’re exhausted from living as an autistic person in an allistic world.

Did you know that therapists require a diagnosis to see literally anyone, ever? At least in the United States?

By your logic the neurotypical idea that "nobody is normal" actually exists. Why is someone who goes to a therapist and is forced to get like, let's just say a depression diagnosis for the ease of thos conversation. Why are they allowed to get that diagnosis, do the therapy, then consider themselves completely neurotypical but an autistic person isn't allowed to do that?

Please make that make sense.

And if you didn't realize everyone who's ever gone to a therapist loses their neurotypical card and is lying to you (using YOUR OWN LOGIC these people would be lying/faking neurotypicality) then don't worry about that! We didn't know that either until this year.

Anyways, that leaves us two options: either everyone is disabled or these people are allowed to choose their neurotypes in spite of the system labeling them otherwise. We sincerely hope why you realize the former is more shitty and we do not have to explain to you even bodily autonomy you don't like is still an inalienable right.

--------

So if you’re like me, please don’t speak over higher support needs people. Recognise that, if you can generally live independently, you are lower support needs than a LOT of others.

Is this about the assholes who went "waaah!! Don't call yourselves nonverbal!!! You share the same brainbody!!!" yes and as a plural system, we are still DIFFERENT PEOPLE. SOME OF US ARE NONVERBAL AND CANNOT SPEAK WHEN FRONTING WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ASSISTANCE FROM ANOTHER HEADMATE. SOME OF US HAVE TO BODY DOIBLE EACH OTHER JUST TO GET THE DISHES DONE YOU DESCRIBED IN THIS POST.

YES WE DO STILL HOLD A JOB TAKIMG PHONE CALLS. BECAUSE THE VARIETY OF AUTISTICS IN OUR HEAD MAKES. IT. SO. WE. ARE. COLLECTIVELY. NON-DISORDERED.

We may be endogenic, but we would still not, in any way, survive the world as a singlet. We are low support needs on a fucking technicality because they confirmed us as an autistic person when the brainody was two!!!

Just because you do not benefit from a purely social model of disability doesn't mean there are autistics who straight up wouldn't have issues anymore if people just..accepted them and society in general was less shitty.

The ONLY!! WAY!!! We have seen this kind of statement be used is to gatekeep people like us who try to describe their experiences of plurmisia and its intersectionality with ableism.

We are a non-disordered autistic collectively with specific members in our system who ARE in fact disordered autistics. The only reason we don't have people who describe themselves as neurotypicals in this system is very specifically because they do indeed feel a change in them when they arrive here.

Yes! We are a lot lower in support needs! To the point we do not consider ourselves such! Because of our multiplicity. Not because our autism "isn't that bad" or anything like that.

------

TLDR:

Stop fucking telling people how to feel about their own experiences.

If youre trying to gatekeep what we think you are trying ro gatekeep, you're an asshole and need to stop. Maybe we are just lucky, who knows, but we have NEVER seen this kind of sentiment occur in a way that does not have an undercurrent of plurmisia and/or other ableism.

You can in fact be a nondisordered diagnosed person. It happens all of the time, otherwise therapists as an institution couldn't exist lmao.

Additionally, as far as we are concerned, there are, in fact, situations you can be simultaneously non-disordered and disordered.

How about you follow the advice you said to everyone else, and not tell no-support and low-support autistics how to feel about their experiences? You're a fucking hypocrite OP!

Someone or somesys with more experience analyzing this kind of thing from a mad pride lens and/or a bodily autonomy lens is absolutely free to add onto this but we're just. Tired. And also kinda we have to be at work in likeeee 10 to 20 minutes.

[lokigodofaces]

Okay, so I've been thinking about this for a while, so here's a slight rant.

Queer people can be Christian. This applies to everyone who is queer, but today I will be specifically referring to asexuals and Christianity.

I have been attacked by gatekeeping queers for being asexual and Christian. Every time it is by someone who is both aphobic and believes that 100% of Christians are bigots. Specifically, they say that asexuality isn't real and I only think I am because I've been brainwashed to think that sex is horrible and shouted some purity culture nonsense (not that the existence of purity culture is nonsense, but being asexual does not mean you are a defendant of purity culture, they were spitting out nonsense that isn't purity culture).

First, off I'm deeply sorry for the bad experiences people have with other Christians. I know that many Christians are bigots. But Christ taught that we should love one another, and by that would others know that we are his disciples. What I'm getting at is that there are many people who claim to be Christians that aren't very good at being Christian and following the commandments Christ said are the most important (love God and love your neighbor). And I'm not trying to invalidate your experiences. And, honestly, a good chunk of Christians have problems they need to figure out. What I'm saying is that Christian=/=bigot because a lot of us are really trying and are probably more annoyed than plenty of non-Christians (that haven't been subject to abuse, obviously) when other Christians are jerks. Imagine being part of another religion but there's a group of people in said religion that just don't follow the rules and that's what everyone thinks that religion is like. But there are lots of queer Christians! Of several denominations, or of no denomination but believes in specifically a Christian God! More than you think!

Second off, asexuality has nothing to do with purity culture. People that believe in purity culture (typically) feel sexual attraction but think there is a problem with sexual attraction for whatever reason. They're the ones that say "it's so hard to deny ourselves of these natural animalistic feelings, but we must control them." Like, personally, purity culture was confusing to me as a teen before knowing about asexuality. Like people would say "it's hard to control myself," and I'd just be over here thinking, "why is it hard? Just simply don't have sex? How is it hard to just not have sex?" In short, asexuality=no sexual attraction, purity culture=having sexual attraction, being convinced that is dirty, feeling it must be controlled.

So please, don't gatekeep people like me. Asexuals belong in the queer community. Queers can be Christian or abide by any other religion (yeah, I've seen people say queer people can't partake in religion at all. Like, what the heck? Also from what I understand there are some religions that "don't have a stance" or are accepting of queers? Sounds like these people think all religions are basically just Christianity but giving their god a different name *eyeroll*). And, quite honestly, don't gatekeep anyone! Other than people that are actively anti-queer, don't gatekeep. You could force someone out of the closet (an "ally" at a pride event very well could be a queer person that just isn't ready to come out in public), assume someone's gender (I hear about that one all too often), assume someone's sexuality (ie freaking out over straight couples when one or both are ace/bi/pan/etc), be rude to allies (c'mon i don't see a problem with a bi chick walking at a pride parade holding hands with her cishet boyfriend, he's supporting her & c'mon just let him be), and overall enforce stereotypes and whichever -phobia is relevant in the situation. Assuming you aren't straight up a bigot towards a fellow queer person due to their sexuality/romantic orientation/gender/race/religion/etc. I'm sure lots of people gatekeep trying to be good and maintain a queer space, but it's not good. Just let people be. You're gonna have cishet queers (shout out to my aros and aces!), closeted people, people that don't abide by stereotypes (*cough cough* that ace chick in London that so many people said crap about *cough cough*), people of all races, religions, ethnicities, etc. The queer community is diverse as heck, and we've all gotta accept that and accept that we don't know crap about anyone else and we've gotta think before we judge. Don't get mad that there's a "straight couple" at an event because one or both could be ace/aro/bi/pan/omni/trans/closeted/etc, or you could be misgendering someone, or they're a couple of allies which are allowed to go to a pride parade for heaven's sake they're trying to show support. You have no way of knowing unless you ask (even then, if they're closeted, you still might know because I wouldn't come out to anyone without knowing them well because I personally am pretty private about it).

I kinda got off topic there but, seriously, it's true. Our community is incredibly diverse, more so than you know. Just let people be. I'm sorry to anyone reading this if they've been gatekept (is that the past tense? Must be. Weird, I've never seen it in past tense before), and I hope you're doing well. If you've been gatekeeping, think about it and stop. As for the rest of y'all, continue being normal and being supportive of your fellow queers that are of all types.

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Normally im anti gatekeeping but can we make a rule that if you just read the headline of an article and don’t read the whole thing and/or check its source, your not allowed to be a witcher fan, how am I supposed to believe someone read a 7 book series if they can’t even read past a headline

This is common sense to check and verify but in the ere of social media, the truth is "feelings". And headlines and short reads are sadly the norm. And they (those who write these articles) know it. Basically if they get your affect they win. Because it is way easier to believe your heart than try to work out your head. And a good title is sometimes just all they need.

Personally, I can't believe someone has read the 7 books saying that this season is not book accurate enough. Of course this isn't 100% book accurate. There are deviations (some bigger than others) and inventions. But for the big parts, the framing, and even some details, this is.

You know, I clashed with an internet friend who told me she read the books and was saying things like I see on hater posts. I just learnt after few precise questions that she stopped at Blood of Elves. She was repeating just other hater stuff because they pushed every buttons that triggered her about what she knew. She is a witcher fan but for the frame she knows. She still doesn't like the show and I respect her real arguments for that but I just saw here the work of confirmation bias.

We have a tendency to believe more someone who say something close to our own feelings or inner belief. And if you made your opinion beforehand there is no way you get out of the pit easily. It needs work and patience to compare and verify, and read the books to check again etc.

Also when you play the games, the experience is very different and very compelling in its storytelling. I knew the games before the series and the books, through let plays and I loved it. So I bet there are a lot of gamers in the frustrated mass. They are fans also, of course, but through a different lence. And they probably want a different experience from the show. Experience they will never get since the framing stays the books. So ... frustration again.

And I can give a "funny" example for people don't read but say they have just to push the cursor on the down level.

When you see people downrating episode 7 to the worst episode ever with so many complaining about the source material, you know that they have not read the books. The 7th episode is the worst noted ever and this is the most book accurate thing of the whole series, period !

They downrate it mostly because there is not enough of what they want in it. Again. Feelings and frustration are speaking not the head.

And that is exactly what those articles do or what attracts people to the hater videos. A lot of people are frustrated since S2 and locked on that frustration for months, so they were already willing to burn the season before hand. They find here and there other people that express frustration and anger and each deviation from the source material is more commented than what is correct. And I don't even go to the place where this is only to deguise shady discourses.

Bonus :

I just put that picture here again since it's lost in my big review of S3 and it amuses me a lot to play dumb to confront people to reality. Too much politics, mages and Ciri... Well this is the books... You're welcome 😅

I am sorry if I deviated in my answer but I need to say things clearly. And I am sure that conclusion won't be read by those who believe I agress them.

For me there are different kind of fans. All valid. But in terms of opinions about the show I discard almost immediately the headline burst of anger ones and I value those who can articulate both positive and negative points of view.

[t1gerlilly]

I’ve seen a lot of takes on my dash about where Buck should go from here and some division among fandom. It’s really interesting, because it made me realize something about how much fandom perspectives are likely shaped by sexual (identity, experience…?)

Like, I think Buck has a fair many fans that are aromantic who really identify with Buck 1.0. Like, up til now, it’s been clear that he loves sex and just has been miserable in relationships. So that would line up with them. And they’ve been posting a lot of “this is great, we can’t wait to see him exploring his sexuality” and then being shocked at the response that gets. And rationally, I can see where they’re coming from - that for them this is a benediction and entirely well meant.

But viscerally? I totally get why they aren’t getting a positive reaction. That’s because a lot of people (me included) see Eddie as demisexual or gray a(sexual). So there’s a fair number of people with that perspective in fandom. And as someone who’s demi, my instinctive reaction to “explore your sexuality” is approximately the same as someone suggesting it would be fun to lick the floor of the New York subway. Like, full body shudder ewwwwww!

(And before you scoff at that metaphor, I once had a scene not dissimilar to that in a London sex club described to me. Apparently licking dirty floors really does it for some folks. It’s a thing. Look it up.)

Because if you’re demi, rubbing your bits with randos is about as sexually appealing as licking a dirty floor is for most people. Like…abandoning a close emotional relationship that’s formed over time and is real and strong for someone new, even if you like them…doesn’t make sense. You can try to force it (Marisol), because you’re constantly getting signals that you’re not normal to not be attracted or dating all the time. So we’re used to getting told, personally, that we should want things we don’t want and wouldn’t enjoy and that we’re not normal if we don’t see sexual pleasure independent of connection as the ideal. Especially in queer spaces where there’s a lot of gatekeeping around labels and experience and requirements to “prove” your identity. Like if you express a new found attraction, that’s immediately met with “so are you going to (insert sex act)? Followed with “why haven’t you (same or different sexact)?” And of course”It’s like you’re not even…” And a person develops some feelings when they’ve gotten a lot of this kind of pressure, in spaces that are supposed to be accepting. So I think you’re seeing a bit of that, along with some bad behavior, because people are having FEELINGS. So, apologies from the demi community, but also a bit of an explanation. And a hope that you’ll cut us some slack if you get where it’s coming from.

So… this week has been about Buck, and his journey, and I hope we can all appreciate the moment of joy and rightness Buck felt when a part of himself he hadn’t recognized clicked into place. I hope we can respect who he is, whatever choice he makes.