#it's okay to not like a driver just block them or stop following them?

[writergirlll]

can you write something about F1 driver (doesn't matter who) x reader, when they were best friends since childhood, but then suddenly they become strangers. no one knows how, why, and not even themselves, until they meet at the Las Vegas GP after a long absence..

Yeah suree. (I know this is pretty bad, but I wrote this late at night, so sorry, I'll just get better!!)

CHILD MEMORIES /LH44

Lewis Hamilton x reader

I don't know why I put Lewis, but somehow he fit me there..

words: 2k+

You were everything. You brightened up anyone, you laughed at everything, you were the sun of Mercedes. Everyone loved you, you were inseparable.

You and Lewis have been best friends since birth. Your families were close, so you practically had no choice but to hang out with each other. But the decision was great!

You spent whole days together, the same kindergarten, elementary school and then high school. You weren't even separated when Lewis started driving F1 because you followed him to EVERY race. Everyone knew how close you were. Journalists, fans, co-workers of Lewis, your families and you.

That's why you just didn't know what happened. Four months have passed since Lewis' last race. And you haven't seen each other in four months. You didn't know why, you didn't know how.

Lewis stopped texting you, stopped answering your calls, and blocked you pretty much everywhere. You couldn't comment on his posts, you couldn't do anything. When you were waiting for him three days ago after the race, you didn't even get to see him because Russell kicked you out saying that Lewis definitely didn't want to see you.

You didn't understand it at all because you were inseparable and the worst part was that everyone asked you about it. Your whole family asked you, your friends, fans of you and Lewis, or even the press. But you just couldn't answer. You couldn't tell them that you had absolutely no idea what was going on and you wanted to know. You couldn't tell them it was Lewis who cut you off because he would be blamed. And okay, maybe he's ignoring you right now and you don't know why, but you're definitely not a bitch who would betray him and take the blame on him. Yes, he was at fault, but not everyone needs to know that..

And that's why you decided to go to the race in Las Vegas, to find out the answers. You knew it might not be a good idea because you might get fired again and it would be even worse for your psyche, but you had to know the answers. Just had to.

“Y/n no! You're not going to the movies with him” Lewis started yelling at you when you were nine.

,,Why? You are not my mom to order me around. He's nice to me and he doesn't yell at me unlike you" you stuck your tongue out at him and started putting on your mom's lipstick.

"He's not nice. He's just using you" he shook his head and stepped closer to you.

"But he's handsome. You don't know him at all” you mumbled as you concentrated on putting red on your lips.

"I know him. He doesn't do homework at all and his dad is said to have been in prison. He's not nice to me at all" he explained and you turned to him.

“Is it true?” you asked and he nodded quickly, his head almost falling off. "But I already have the tickets and I've made an appointment with him" you whined.

"Then you will come with me and we will write him a letter on the way. He only lives a few minutes away anyway" Lew thought up and you finally went along with his solution.

You took off your lipstick and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing - which looked like a scratch that you weren't going anywhere with. Then you put it in the envelope Lew had made in the meantime, sealed it with saliva, and dropped it in his mailbox when you went to the cinema.

At home, you packed some things, bought tickets and booked a hotel. You told your parents and everyone close to you about your plan and got on the plane.

After a few hours of flight, you finally flew to Las Vegas, called a taxi and went to check into the hotel.

When you did this, you decided it was time to go get answers. You didn't know what you would say to him when you saw him in four months, or if you would see him at all, but you wanted to at least try.

You've been pretty sick these past few months and weeks. You were constantly wondering if it was your fault and what you did wrong. The family told you that it might not be your fault but his, but you just didn't want to believe that Lewis would do something like that. Certainly not the Lewis you knew.

You cried for days and nights and it took you a long time to sort of recover from it. You knew that if Lewis ignored you even today, or didn't let you see him, it would be even worse. But why not give it a try?

You left the hotel straight to the track, where the qualification was supposed to start in an hour so you were hoping to catch Lewis before quali started.

You showed your VIP ticket at the entrance to the track, even though the people at the gate already knew you very well and would have taken you without a ticket, and you headed to the Mercedes garage, more nervous than ever.

You slowly shuffled there, already having several journalists on your neck, which you successfully ignored. And you also successfully ignored the feeling that told you to turn around and not go there at all.

It wasn't long before you saw a boy in a blue jumpsuit who revealed himself to be George Russell. As soon as you approached him, he noticed you and frowned at first before smiling slightly when he saw your expression.

“Y/n hi. You haven't been here long" he said as he walked up to you and gave you a quick hug.

"Yeah well, I didn't have much reason to walk there" you smiled firmly and looked around for Lewis. "Don't you know where Lewis is?" you asked and George's smile immediately disappeared from his face.

"I think he doesn't want to talk to you much. Besides we are going quali in a bit” he said quickly and you frowned.

"I absolutely do not see why you are bodyguarding him, but I want to know the reason why he did this to me. I have a right to know” you got angry.

"I know, I know but..-"

"No, no but. Just let me go to him. I need to know” you whispered the last part of your sentence and with that George pulled away from you leaving you to search the area.

You searched for quite a long time before you finally caught sight of his head. He was already dressed in his racing suit and was looking for something on the table, among all the things. You stopped for a moment before taking a deep breath and stepping forward..

Either it will ruin your life or you will find out the reason..

“Lewis?” your little six year old self whispered and patted little Lewis.

“Yeah” he turned sleepily in his bed and looked at you.

"Could I sleep with you? I'm scared on the floor" you whispered and desperately hoped he would say yes. You were supposed to sleep with him, but since his bed was small, you had to sleep on the floor, which you didn't like.

Little Lewis didn't answer, he just shifted on the bed towards the wall and lifted the covers. You quickly took advantage of this and crawled under the covers, where you snuggled up.

"Thank you so much" you smiled a little and felt tiredness wash over you. Lewis barely nodded, himself already in dreamland and put his arm around your small body and hugged you.

"I love you" you kissed his cheek and rested your head on his shoulder.

"Me too" Lewis smiled, pulling you closer and together you slowly returned to the realm of dreams..

“Lewis?” You asked cautiously, stepping a fair distance away from him to give you some space. You could see a light bulb go off in his head that it was you and he tensed slightly before turning to you.

"What are you doing here?" he asked without a greeting and glared at you. Okay, maybe you really should have stayed home..

"I came to watch the race" you replied because you didn't want to argue right now even though you knew it would most likely end up like that.

"And did you buy VIP tickets?" he rolled his eyes at your stupidity and you couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you ignoring me? Why did you just do all this overnight" you asked him and even though it was only the first question, tears formed in your eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Lewis shook his head and went back to looking for things.

"Lewis, you know it very well. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Because I really don't know why you just left me without an explanation after more than 30 years of knowing each other" you frowned and you made him turn around.

"I don't know okay" he started waving his hands and sighed.

“So you don't know?” you whispered, a single tear falling down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away, but Lewis seemed to see it. "After all four months, when I cried constantly because I didn't know the fuck reason why you did it, you're going to tell me that you don't know? You don't even know how much I've been worried about this because how could you when you blocked me everywhere and when I followed you George dumped me” now you started crying.

Looking at your tear covered face, Lewis softened slightly and moved a little closer to you. "I couldn't see you" he only said and looked sympathetic. "I really wanted, I wanted to hug you and explain everything to you, but I couldn't".

"But why"? you sniffed and wiped away the stray tears with the back of your hand - and that there were a lot of them.

"I" he started and ran a hand through his hair without continuing. "Maya, my ex-girlfriend. I started dating her shortly before I cut you off, you didn't even get to know her. She was very angry that I was talking to you and on top of that the whole team said that I was fired by you because I wasn't winning so many races, so I thought this would be the easiest solution. I knew it was definitely wrong, but it was the easiest. But when Maya broke up with me a month ago because she found someone else, I didn't have the strength to go to you. I knew you'd be mad. I knew I messed up terribly. Please forgive me. Please" now he started crying too.

His explanation left you completely shocked. You didn't know what to say to that. You may have understood Maya because you yourself have experienced that a person behaves differently under the pressure of a loved one, but that his team said are you distracting him?

“So this was the easiest solution?” you finally asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know. I really don't know, please forgive me. I understand what you had to go through and I don't want to lose all those years when we were kids and teenagers" he begged walking closer to you before wiping your wet cheeks with his big hands.

"And Mercedes thinks I'm distracting you"?

"Well, George doesn't. The other teams didn't either, but we really had a tough season, everyone thought differently, they certainly didn't mean it" he hugged you tightly and didn't want to let go.

You wrapped your arms around his back and he wrapped his around your waist. "Let's not lose all our friendship, please. I'll do anything" he whispered in your ear and you nodded.

He might have done a bad thing that cost you an extreme amount of tears and everything, but he was still Lewis, who you had loved since birth and who would never knowingly do something so horrible.

"Lew i don't want to lose our friendship either. But I will remember what you did. And I also hope that your Maya, who is probably a nice bitch by the way, doesn't show up in my life" you laughed lightly and Lewis too.

So in the end it turned out to be a good decision to go to Las Vegas...

“What if we never see each other again?” you sighed and looked deeply into the eyes of your best friend of 15 years.

"We'll see. I'm only going there for a few days for now, but you'll be able to go to my races. I'll give you a discount" he smiled at you seeing your concern and you shook your head.

Lew got an offer to F1, when they invited him to an audition and if he succeeded, he would go to junior competitions for a few years in Italy.

"You can't leave me here" you shook your head once more and pulled him into a hug.

"I won't let. Never. Best friends forever"?

"Best Friends Forever".

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

never not mine | jjk | "i hear..."

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

Bygones will be bygone eras, fading into grey. Breaking up with Jeon Jungkook had been a vicious, clean break. He tried to take it back, but the damage was already done. You walked out of the world you didn't belong in, at least until Kim Taehyung calls your name.

this is part i | part ii | part iii

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of controlling behaviors in a romantic relationship; reader is emotionally distant after said breakup; second chance romance?; angst and fluff and feels; your POV

non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; and a certain Maestro cameo; reader is not part of the entertainment industry

--

“Please love me again.”

You could hear him saying it but you pretended not to hear. You pretended not to know. You pretended he wasn’t there. He was persona non grata. No, he was simply another blurry face amongst many that faded into the grey background of grey days. He was only a ghost. If he happened to be in the same place as you were, it wasn’t any of your damn business. People were allowed to be wherever they wanted to be.

“I’m sorry.”

Yes, he was.

Sorry that he couldn’t walk all over you like he wanted. Sorry that he couldn’t control you on that leash like he wanted. Sorry that you had the balls to cut all ties and not put up with his selfish bullshit anymore. Sorry. What a word. Your response had not been a vindictive one, though. You hadn’t blocked him on social media. You figured he would block you himself. The last moments were him berating you for being late, what if something happened to you, I was worried, and you snapping. It had taken every fiber of your being to not fling your clutch in his face and tell him to take himself out if he cared so much.

“I understand what you meant now.”

The first couple times he attempted to speak to you after it all, you were ice-cold furious. So angry that you simply refused to speak to avoid spitting literal fire. So, you didn’t. And then it became a habit. Then you stopped caring. You stopped feeling. You lived your life.

Alone.

Like an abandoned puppy, Jeon Jungkook followed you every chance he got, but there were less and less chances as time went on. You would walk past him. He would follow until it was definitely too creepy and simply stop, staring after you with a lost look in his empty eyes. Everyone could see the broken heart in his stare.

A lot of people asked you what happened.

It was a valid question.

It was just as valid for you to not answer.

“I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else.”

You avoided people who couldn’t let it go or cut them out altogether. What was the point of shit-talking, taking sides, making yourself angry over things that couldn’t be changed? What was the point of being upset over nights that couldn’t be taken back? Over phone calls and you sitting alone in a restaurant, empty chair in front of you and the reason in your hand, an opportunity came up, I’m leaving for Los Angeles in the morning, I need to pack, bye. Over trips suddenly cut short in the middle, the agency called, another model got sick last minute so I gotta go, just stay here and have fun. By yourself. Over accusations, what are you doing right now, send a photo, now. Over doubts, are you really at the supermarket, I don’t know, you could be doing anything, I’m not there after all. Over being five minutes late because the taxi you had taken was driven by an older gentleman chatting away, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him to shut up simply because of a boy.

Five minutes.

“Where were you? You need to tell me if you’re late. What if something happened? I was worried.”

“The driver was talking to me.”

“And you couldn’t text that you were okay?”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Am I not your priority?” he had hissed.

Snap.

All those times, all those moments, okay, I understand, it’s fine, you can make it up to me later, they all came back to you in vivid recollections, and you had stared at Jeon Jungkook. All those people saying how lucky you must be having such a good-looking guy, an actual fashion model, must be so nice, and you only said nice things about him because it didn’t occur to you to complain, no, it would be silly to complain about someone you loved. That was part of loving someone, wasn’t it, being in love was putting up with these things and believing in their words. All those instances, prove what you’re doing, send a photo. Now. All that shit got you to this moment right here, right now, under this furious scrutiny, his dark brows furrowed, his pretty mouth twisted in a frown, his question ringing in your ears.

His accusation in which he had already deemed you guilty.

“The fuck you say to me?” you had growled softly.

Never once did you ask him what he was doing in the destination that he was at. Never once did you fault him for going out and having fun. Never once did you say anything about the multiple social posts of beaches and hotels and nightclubs and everyone scantily-clad, his arms around fellow models, pressed up against fabulous guys and glamorous girls. If he didn’t answer you for a couple days, you assumed it was due to long shoot days and combined jetlag making him crash. The very answer he gave you the first time you asked. You believed him then. There was no need to ask for confirmation over and over if you trusted him. And you did trust him.

Now, this.

“I was five minutes late. If I thought I would be later, I would have texted you,” you explained with emotionless calm. “At least I showed up. At least I didn’t make you sit down in the restaurant, wait around for an hour only to get a text that you aren’t coming. Not even a phone call anymore.”

You hadn’t raised your voice.

He had looked taken aback.

“But… I thought you would understand.”

“Of course, I understand.” The seething anger was white-hot but your tone was crystal-clear cold. “I can understand, as long as you show me some grace and appreciation for not losing my shit every time it happens. Am I not your priority? When have I ever been yours?”

He tried to answer quickly. “You’re always–”

But you were already pulling up the rideshare app, calling another car to come pick you up. “Am I? Then why accuse me the second I get out of the car? Where was I? In the taxi. You saw me get out of it. Why are you holding five minutes over my head like a death sentence, as if I surely betrayed you in those extra five minutes? If it’s you it could be five, thirty, hours, but I have to understand you are networking. I have to understand you are being personable. I have to understand that you are practicing being friendly because it doesn’t come naturally to you.”

Jungkook simply gawked at you, wide-eyed.

You narrowed your eyes, creating a distance he could no longer cross.

“Am I just here so you have someone to visit when you’re bored? Someone to fuck?”

Maybe the vulgarity was taking it too far. Maybe saying all of this in public right now was in poor taste. His jarring question rang in your head. Am I not your priority? Maybe you were wrong to say it all now, but it was the way he said it, as if your love for him had become invalid once you were five minutes late to the appointed time for this date that you didn’t know whether or not he would abandon you in the middle of or take you home and rock your world – and you realized you didn’t care what the outcome was.

You just didn’t give a fuck anymore.

There were so many things he could have done. He could break up with you if his career was more important. He could say sorry more. He could find ways to make it up to you. He could, but he didn’t, and you understood. But this. This you could not understand. This he could not do.

No.

This you would not let him do.

If this was innocent concern, he made it worse by coming off as suffocating and hovering. Now, you realized that no excuse would have been good enough to convince him otherwise. He had already made up his mind to attack you the second you walked out of that car, delivering in the fatal blow instantly. All those moments. All those times had become hair-thin cracks, marring the bond between you and him, tiny little slices to kill the relationship and your will to be in it.

“I don’t think…”

He trailed off, not completing his thought.

The car pulled up.

This was surely the meaning of quiet treason.

“No, you don’t,” you had finished for him with icy agreement. “You expect. You expect me to be here and hold your hand when you want it, and now I know you will never ask me if I ever need my hand held.”

You had stepped away from the curb, not once raising your voice, no longer looking at him, your knuckles digging into your beaded black clutch. You expected it to hurt at least a little.

It was nothing compared to this death by a thousand cuts.

“W-Wait!”

You didn’t.

You had opened the car door and closed it quickly. The driver  requested you to confirm your name. You tersely nodded. They didn’t ask any further questions even as you witnessed Jungkook’s shocked face in the side mirror as the vehicle drove away. You didn’t look back. You didn’t even cry. Maybe you should have given him a chance to say something. A chance to change.

Except you had.

This wasn’t the first time that you had this conversation, although the first time was you sitting him down and saying, hey, if you’re not sure about your schedule, let’s not arrange any dates around those days. We can go out when things settle down. The answer was agreement and all was well for a couple weeks. And then it would happen again. And then you would bring it up again. Whoops. And again.Then he would ask you what you were doing when he wasn’t there. Oh, really? Send pictures.You asking, this is a bit much, isn’t it? The answer being, I want to know you’re safe. You finally admitting that it drove you a bit crazy. Him laughing and saying he was a bit of a handful, brushing away your concerns in light of his own.

Five minutes.

Am I not your priority?

The anger had nowhere to go.

Like how summer turned into fall and then into winter, the anger grew cold and dense and concentrated. A stone. Then one day you turned it over and found nothing underneath. You stopped caring. On one hand, you could have been the bigger person and reached out. On another hand, you didn’t see the reason in wasting any more time. What good was closure? What good would it do, talking it out and getting the same result? Deserve this, deserve that. Fair or not, at the end of the day, it didn’t work and there was no forcing something if neither party wanted to really try. I understand, until you couldn’t anymore.

Now.

Now, you would sit alone at restaurants and not be disappointed.

Table for one, yes, thank you.

Now you would spend hours at the games store and no one would be asking you to take pictures and prove that you were there. He used to play video games too, but he gradually fell out of them. Busy. Felt like he couldn’t keep up. Sold his PC because he was never home.

Emptiness where he had once enjoyed spending that time with you.

You would stay at the music store for a long time, looking over albums and wondering if you should buy them. It had been such a long time. You never listened to CDs anymore although you had been obsessed with music as a kid. The past felt like a different time. Memories of a clunky CD player and wired headphones with the metal arch over your head and those spongey earcups. Now you had wireless earbuds and a phone. Still, you looked over the colorful albums and wondered if you should get one, just to have it or maybe even put it on display. He used to listen to a lot of music too. Probably still did, on planes and in cars. He used to share your taste.

Now you didn’t have to share anything.

You stuck with your favorites, still, for years. It was an ever-growing list of popular artists as well as lesser-known indie artists that you never forgot. You made sure to listen to the top hits as well since those songs were popular for a reason. The occasional earworm could lead you down a pleasant rabbit hole, too.

You picked up an album of a band you liked but had never owned and went home.

Got that dopamine unboxing it and smiling at the photocards. Looked through the extras with the album on repeat playing through your Bluetooth speaker. You didn’t do these kinds of things in front of Jungkook usually. You had always prioritized engaging with him. Listening to his stories, looking at the photos of places he had been, shaking your head at the long hours or difficult call times. Every moment precious because you would never know when it would be cut short.

You had made everything about him when in his presence.

You hadn’t blasted the relationship all over social media although it was obvious. For the most part, people had been respectful. You hadn’t deleted all the photos he was in, the photos he had taken of you, nor had you blocked him. People asked. You repeated the same thing over and over. I’m not going to talk about that. We can talk about something else. People eventually stopped asking. Old news was old news. There was no visible resentment, and so the interest died out.

You caught Jungkook looking at you from across the concessions stand at the movie theater.

Those big dark brown eyes filled with rueful invitation.

You didn’t know what movie he was going into, but you turned away and didn’t think about it much.

Watched the movie you paid for, alone.

Went home.

Alone.

You used to watch movies twice. Once by yourself when it released, then a second time when Jungkook could make it. When he could. Sometimes he couldn’t and the movie was already out of theaters. Then you both would watch it at home when it released on streaming services. It was what it was. You enjoyed movies. You had the time and money to watch them twice. But now you didn’t have to.

That was nice.

You weren’t sure if Jungkook was deliberately going places that you often frequented or if it was coincidence. It was likely the latter, because he usually wasn’t alone. He had a group of friends that lived in this area and often came to visit them. He used to joke that it must have been fate for you to meet as your friend circles didn’t overlap. At least he had not shown up to the video games store or the music store you usually went to, so you didn’t feel threatened in any way. Maybe he was visiting his friends more because he was sad. Maybe he was visiting them more in hopes of seeing you, the same tactic he used when he first asked you out. Maybe it was both.

It was probably both.

Sometimes you would cry in frustration.

Sometimes you would play games to distract yourself.

Sometimes you didn’t mind too much as the days passed. Sometimes you would look outside and admire the sun. Sometimes it would rain and that was nice too. Sometimes you were sad but it wasn’t a negative feeling. Such was the natural course. Sadness was the promise of happiness to come, because one couldn’t exist without the other.

At least, you believed so.

Ther wasn’t much more you could do than that.

For a bit there you had almost thought the relationship hadn’t mattered because you had walked away so coldly. In some ways, you wished you could take it back. In other ways, you didn’t. It was hard to discount years of your life simply because of how the chapter ended. There had definitely been unique experiences that you were unlikely to relive. You used to attend lavish parties with Jungkook, especially many around the holidays. You would dress up in your best and put on a brave face. A lovely dress, the high heels he brought you, carefully done makeup and hair. Jungkook would walk in with you gliding beside him, silently holding his arm. People would tell you how fun it was working with him and how lucky he was to have such a pretty and understanding lady. These were all work events full of unfamiliar faces. Jungkook used to be reserved and hang out with you in corners but, as he got more popular, more people roped him into conversations, remember this, and he would slip in with his friends, naturally, laughing and smiling. You would wait nearby, at yet another party surrounded by better bodies, and somehow he would find you at the end of the night, ask you if you had fun.

And you would smile and assure him.

“Something like that.”

The best parties were the ones thrown by his friend Kim Taehyung. He had been in the entertainment industry for a long time, becoming Jungkook’s friend though their crossed paths in modeling. He had an affliction for celebration and Jungkook was always invited, which meant you, too, bore witness to many magnificent events hosted by him. The most extravagant were his own birthday parties. Quite so, as the date was after Christmas, and he continued the festive mood. Taehyung loved a theme. He would rent specific venues, arrange for live music, impose a dress code, everything. One year, he flew everyone out to Paris and rented an entire restaurant to celebrate. Even if you barely knew anyone there, it was fun being in a different world created by Taehyung’s magical vision. Everyone was thrown into it together, experiencing the vibes of an old American jazz club, the white beaches with glass waters during Christmastime, or a playful night filled with Taehyung’s favorite childhood games and sweet treats, complete with food stalls from the area of Daegu he grew up in.

You didn’t fit in, but no one did because these were all Taehyung’s fantasies brought to life.

He always sent the invitations by physical mail, on stunning stationery to match the theme. Someone else must have created them, but seemingly Taehyung approved them all as every single one contained his unique flourishing signature. You kept them in a box. They were too pretty to throw away.

You had received an invitation this year too, to a midnight masquerade ball, but you didn’t go.

Perhaps he didn’t know yet. Or, perhaps he did know and Jungkook asked him to invite you. They were quite close. If there was a plan, you didn’t take the bait. The date came and went. Maybe Taehyung considered you a friend, but that was probably a stretch. Jungkook didn’t like you talking to Taehyung too much.

Apparently, you made him smile too big.

Or something.

Taehyung had an entire party to get to every time you met him, anyway. You would have to shoo him off because there was very little night and Taehyung wanted to speak to every guest one-on-one. He was sincere like that. He was romantic like that. He was dark and handsome and in his own head, in his constant dream of living his wonderful life that, from what you could discern, he deserved. He even always remembered to ask the staff working at his party to eat cake with them. At the end of the night, Taehyung would pick up the microphone and thank the guests for coming and thank the staff for working hard to provide everyone with a good time. Taehyung always remembered to say thank you and he always made sure to express his gratitude to everyone, no matter their status.

You missed being at his party, a little bit, if only just to witness a fairy-tale in real life.

But you weren’t part of Jeon Jungkook’s world anymore.

And so you missed the party.

Please love me again.

On quiet, grey days, you realized how very boring your life was. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to think about the good times. About his laugh, about his starry eyes when you came into view, about enchanted nights where you would both make magic between bodies. On quiet, grey days, you were tempted to pick out all his flaws until the memories were burned, images stricken with ash, never to be the same again. On quiet, grey days, you had every chance to run back or run away, at least in your head, but instead you lived your very boring life doing neither of those choices.

Whether you loved him or hated him, the result would still be the same.

You entered the artisan tea shop and greeted the staff. You talked about how your father was into tea, chatted about what would make a good gift. The prices of the sets. The amount of loose-leaf tea and how many cups it would make. The various flavors and strength. You smelled a bunch of different ones. Rejected some, remained indecisive about others, accepted a few as contenders.

You heard the bell by the door chime again, musical and clear.

A male’s voice, deep and polite.

You tensed. Your body knew before your mind caught up. You pointed to several flavors you had liked, and the employee suggested a gift box sampler featuring a watercolor camellia-printed limited-edition teacup set that you agreed to readily, all the while vaguely aware of a tingling behind your neck and a vigilant tension forming in your lungs. But it wasn’t until your name was called that you turned around by instinct, and then froze with recognition. Dark brown eyes under graceful black-brown waves. Tan skin glimmering under the lights. The image completed by a three-piece chocolate brown suit paired with a ruffled warm gray dress shirt and sharp dark leather oxfords. The stylish man smiled widely, box-like, and walked towards you without hesitation.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Kim Taehyung must have known, and yet.

You bowed lightly. “Hello.”

The sales associate was immediately charmed by Taehyung’s deep voice and dashing appearance, their gloved hands hovering over the half-packed box and openly ogling the demandingly handsome gentleman that took your hand warmly before lightly kissing your knuckles. Straight out of a movie. Probably learned it from one, or from traveling in Europe. He let go after a lingering moment.

He had said your name with the same velvety warmth he had at all of his parties.

It had hurt, but it wasn’t his fault.

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while. Are you buying something?” He raised his head and daintily smiled at the employee before giving you his full attention again. “Let me pay for it.”

“No, ah,” you interrupted him quickly, handing over your card before Taehyung could reach into his heavily lined pockets. “No, sorry. I’m buying a gift for my father.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he apologized immediately, retracting his hands. “I meant to do something nice for you and I’ve overstepped.”

“It’s… It’s alright,” you chuckled softly, trying to dissipate the awkwardness. You turned slightly to sign the receipt, not looking at the price. Your card went back into your black leather bow purse. “You had no way of knowing. How are you? And your parents?”

Taehyung was still a little sheepish but he remained next to you at a respectful distance. “Me? I guess you could say I’m holding on. I think I might take a small break soon and spend a week with my family. How did you know I was thinking of them?” He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a mind-reader.”

You shook your head with a smile, taking the beautifully wrapped bag and bowing in gratitude to the employee. “No, you’ve just never been a big tea drinker. It was only a guess.”

He scratched the back of his head and sighed lightheartedly. “Ah, you’re right. I wanted to buy a grown-up gift, but maybe I should have asked what they wanted. I don’t know the first thing about tea.”

You both began to walk towards the entrance.

“You’re their adorable child. They will love anything you gift them.”

Taehyung grinned. “So, you think I’m adorable?”

You opened your mouth and then.

Then you were suddenly hyperaware of the brightness of the lights in the tea store. Suddenly aware of all the customers around you milling about and chatting with their friends and the employees. Suddenly the scents of the store were too strong and too varied and suddenly a phantom grip on your arm from a time long past pulled you away from your center, into the past, and you remembered all the times you stood in a corner of a party, on the outskirts of alcohol, music, and magic, wondering why you were so, so alone.

You plastered a smile on your face and replied pleasantly.

“Of course, you are, Kim Taehyung.”

It lasted a second.

Maybe less.

Taehyung gazed at you with curious eyes.

You kept the smile on your face.

He stepped past you and opened the door, gesturing you to walk out before him in the most gentlemanly way, smiling with his eyes crinkling as they usually did when he laughed or was in his comfort zone. “Come. Let me at least treat you to lunch,” he insisted.

You accepted his graciousness and turned as you walked to face him as you spoke. “That’s really not necessary. I’m sure you’re very busy.”

He chuckled, the sound coming deep from his chest. “Of course, I’m busy, but I always have time for a friend.” He shrugged nonchalantly, grinning. “My manager expects this kind of behavior from me anyway.”

You paused, looking up at him. “Friend?”

Flutters of lashes and confusion in dark brown orbs.

“Are we not friends?”

People around you continued walking, giving you and Taehyung weird looks. He didn’t seem to notice, undeterred by the world around him that wasn’t currently in his focus, the main character at every moment in his life, oblivious to anyone trying to get under his skin with their judgements, never the accessory to someone else.

It turned out to be more difficult than you thought, saying the words.

“I… well… Don’t you know that Jeon Jungkook and I aren’t dating anymore?”

Taehyung tilted his head with childlike innocence.

“Um… so you don’t eat lunch anymore?”

You blinked at him.

“Huh?”

He gave you this look. You stared back. For a moment the disconnect was so tangible that you almost had a word for it. A zephyr ruffled Taehyung’s soft curls. The sun made his skin glow and his dark eyes sparkle. Small signs of Mother Nature affectionately acknowledging one of her children. He smiled. It was then that you realized this was a decision you could make. A decision of a lonely self, not a lonely self that was an extension of another. A yes or no that didn’t have to be polluted by the past.

“Well…”

Your hands tightened on the straps of the gift bag.

“If you’ll have me.”

Taehyung grinned. “I know just the spot! You’ll love it.”

-

It was nice lunch.

No, it was wonderful time.

You had been worried that you would be underdressed in your calf-length flowy black dress and chunky knit lavender cardigan, but you fit right in. Taehyung had picked a busy rooftop brunch spot. It was French-themed, or at least as French as Korea could get. There was a bit more wood than brass and crystals. It still made for a nice hideaway. It seemed Taehyung was well recognized here, and yet people maintained a distance regardless. It must have been his polite yet stern demeanor. When he sat down though, he seemed to relax, waving a hand and telling you to order whatever you liked.

You never could turn down good brioche.

You thought it would have been awkward, at least. It wasn’t. He talked about his work, asked about yours. Asked what you thought about this or that. Memories from past events, what you liked or didn’t like. What he paid too much for that nobody noticed, along with a hearty laugh, and moments he loved, such as having a group photo at every one of his events. You asked him if he enjoyed planning the events themselves. He confessed with a roughish smile that he had a planner for all those details. You thought it strange to spend so much money on such occasions, but there was something pure about it too. Besides, you ended up getting your answer.

“What’s the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?” Taehyung abruptly asked, sitting up in alarm.

You blinked at his suddenness. “Uh… I don’t know. I would have to think about it.” Your lips upturned slightly, then you tilted your head and looked back at him. “What about you? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?”

He relaxed back in his chair. His expression became pensive. You paused in mid-bite, seeing him look a bit sheepish.

“You’re not the first person to ask me about the parties,” Taehyung chuckled deep from his chest. “A lot of people tell me it’s a waste of money. And it is to other people, but it isn’t to me. The most important lesson I’ve ever learned was…”

He raised his head with a small smile.

“You can’t get time back.”

You remembered the extensive decor, the delicate hors d'oeuvres, even the various perfumes sprayed into the air complimenting the theme of each party. Exquisite and memorable details. Taehyung ticked his head, seemingly recalling it all too.

“I think I’ve mentioned this, but my grandmother was the closest maternal figure I had,” he explained, fondly smiling. “I’m close to my parents too, but they had to work a lot to give me a good life, so I spent a lot of time with my siblings and grandparents. My grandmother used to hold celebrations for the achievements I had, even if they were mediocre or not that impressive. Nothing extravagant, or anything. A little cake or my favorite sweets. She would sing for me and clap her hands. She would say, it’s my duty to give you good memories. As I got older, I became busy, of course, chasing dreams, and I didn’t make time for her small celebrations any more. I was just out of university when she passed away. I often think I hadn’t spent enough time with her. Time is money, as they say. Next time, I would say, until there wasn’t a next time.”

The weight of his words settled on the table.

“It’s not your fault,” you reminded him, but Taehyung simply smiled and shook his head.

“It wasn’t anybody’s fault,” he agreed. “But that wasn’t it. I couldn’t get all that time back. Sure, did I take jobs that put me in a really good place now? Yeah. Yeah, of course, I make a lot of money now since young me jumped at every chance to model for a small brand or do a single-run commercial. I really love my career. I love that, because I did the hard work, I even get offers to act in primetime dramas now. But I should have made less. I should have made time. I should have gone to see her and let her do her duty to give me good memories.”

He waved his hands in a slight shrug. You could tell he was still regretful about it, but there was something else too. He looked directly at you with that boxy grin of his.

“I decided, then, that I too wanted to give good memories to the people that are precious to me. I have all this money, anyway. Why waste it on things? I want to waste it on memories. I want people to look forward to special days, to celebrate life, to look back on a fun time.”

So that was why.

“That is what is really important to me.”

Kim Taehyung wasn’t only good looks, of course.

“I’ve yapped long enough. What is really important to you?” he asked again, chuckling.

“Oh, I…”

And there were no words.

You straightened, startled by your own silence. There were lots of important things, weren’t there? There was… and there wasn’t. Friends, sure. And, also, friends came in and out of your life. You didn’t take it personally. Family, yes. Cordial but not deep. They had their own lives to live. You almost opened your mouth to say these generic things, and then you caught the look in Taehyung’s eye and stopped.

This basic question was not so basic after all.

“I… Am I boring?” you blurted with a start.

“Boring?” Taehyung frowned. “No, you’re not.”

Your brows furrowed. “Aren’t I?”

He laughed, hearty and deep. “Trust me. You’re not boring. We wouldn’t be having a conversation if you were boring.”

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why are we having a conversation?”

Taehyung smiled warmly.

“Because I appreciate your outlook on life.”

You were taken aback.

“What?”

He nodded. “Isn’t it obvious?” He waved a hand carelessly. “I’ve met so many people doing what I do. Some people are just nice to you because of money. Or think you can boost their reputation. Or they think they can take advantage of you. You’ve been around all that too, no?” He did not mention Jungkook.

“Oh, well…” you hesitated. “Not anymore. I’m pretty ordinary.”

A small frown. “No, everyone is extraordinary.”

You scoffed. “I’m only an accountant. Not even one that works closely with my own clients – I’m just the one at the firm that does the final review over everyone’s work to make sure we don’t get into legal trouble. That’s nothing like what you do.”

He impatiently swept your words away. “Everyone is extraordinary,” he repeated.

“I don’t think–”

“You are different,” Taehyung pressed. “You had been introduced to a different world than your own and you could have been a vulture. You could have taken for your own sake. You could have done everything you could to be ‘one of us’. You could have scorned us too, called it all superficial and stupid. But you didn’t.” He crossed his arms to make his point. “You observed. You listened. You treated me, the people around me, everyone as their own person. We weren’t just some dumb rich people to you. We were individuals.”

You didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t something you had ever consciously thought about before.

“There are so many people that believe in using others, either in a beneficial way or in a cruel way,” sighed Taehyung. “It’s a difficult world. We all need to live.” He reached over and made you jump by placing his hand over the back of yours. “Don’t give up on that, okay?”

Your stared at him with wide eyes. “On… what?”

Almost. You didn’t quite have an answer for the most important lesson in your life you had learned so far. But almost. Kim Taehyung cocooned his palm over your hand and trapped you with his determined brown eyes, straight from a drama scene. A heavenly prince in a fancy café. He looked back to you very seriously, taking all of your attention away from the whispering conversations on other tables, away from the clinking plates and glasses, away from all distractions.

“Don’t give up on the way you want to live.”

Those small moments.

From eating dinner alone to watching movies alone to buying that album and unboxing it yourself to looking outside, days and nights, wondering what could have been and killing that thought over and over again.

“The way… I want to live?” you echoed breathlessly.

The clear, musical chime of the bell by the entrance sang through the air, mingling with the conversation and consumption. A halo of sound that rang true over every table to reach every customer. It was as striking as it was lovely, flawlessly melding into the moment. A pure sound that could trigger a pleasant déjà vu, the recall of a good chat over good food.

Taehyung grinned with his beautiful, perfectly white teeth.

“I want you to have good memories. Whatever you decide, let us make good memories with those precious to us.”

You decided, then and there, that you needed to start doing things.

-

“Oh, good, you’re home. That would have been awfully embarrassing.”

“W-What…?”

You backed up in your slippers as a stunningly well-dressed man flourished into your home like an astronaut landing on the moon. That was, if the moon was your front door. The black mat was space-themed, printed with abstract stars and a grayish circle. It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Your pajamas were also soft black cotton with a twinkly star print, although your slippers were simple, white furry poofs that felt like walking on clouds.

“Take this.”

“What is – oof!”

In contrast to your outfit, the man who had entered your home looked like he had stepped off the runway. He wore light blue trousers that you almost mistook for jeans, however they had a tone-on-tone print that clearly indicated the luxury designer. Underneath the navy-blue duster coat was a crisp white shirt pressed to the gods with distinctive sky-blue trim. A quick glimpse and anyone would know the inner lining of the duster was blue silk, the matching tone-on-tone print subtle and obvious at the same time. You nearly buckled under the weight of a wooden box, gasping as you saw the slices of high-grade beef in a gold bow. The man gestured with his hand in a swooping manner.

“I heard all about it from Taehyung,” he was saying, shrugging his broad shoulders heavily.

“Heard…?” You were still reeling from the unexpected guest and a box of meat. “What’s this, I can’t accept th–”

The man shot you a scathing look. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he chided, dismissive. “How unbelievably rude I would be dropping by your home if I didn’t have a gift? Psh, why, I wouldn’t be Kim Seokjin!”

And so he was.

Although, as far as you knew, you and famous-actor-turned-businessman Kim Seokjin were not close friends. Not close enough to be gifted with a house call and meat, anyway. He had been close to Jeon Jungkook back then. They often sought each other out when they both attended the same events. You were well aquatinted with Seokjin’s boisterous personality and his worldwide-known handsomeness. He was no different today, looking sculpted from jawline to broad shoulders to the regal way he stood. Glowing skin. Lightly permed, chestnut brown hair. Full lips, currently in a slight frown.

You bowed awkwardly. “S-Sorry, I just didn’t expect…”

“Ah, it’s alright.” He called you by name, although somewhat awkwardly, as if he was unsure if he should be more formal or not. “I won’t take too much of your time.”

You were still confused about Seokjin saying he had heard something from Taehyung. Actually, you didn’t even know how he got your address, although it wasn’t impossible. After all, Taehyung’s party invitations came in snail mail. It wasn’t that shocking. You probably might have been more annoyed if you were in the middle of something, but all you had been doing was getting ready to heat up some leftover takeout. You shuffled slightly, trying to block the view of the kitchen counter. Not necessarily embarrassed, per se, as your apartment was quite spacious and neat, but nothing here was comparable to Kim Seokjin’s lifestyle. It was kind of pointless to do so, though, since Seokjin was quite tall.

He seemed not to notice or care about the current state of your kitchen.

You stood there, dazed, clutching a box of high-grade beef.

He cleared his throat very firmly. “I came to invite you to the opening of my new establishment. Two weeks from now.” He rattled off the opening date. “But don’t come on opening day. It’ll be too crowded. Some day after. Let me know when and I’ll make special arrangements for you,” he added, stepping forward to tuck his business card into one of the folds of the gold bow. “Call the number on there. My assistant will connect me to you. I can link you with talented professionals if you are interested, which I’ll pay for, of course.”

“I– What – I’m sorry?” you sputtered. “Me?”

The handsome man exaggeratedly whipped his head from side to side. “Uh, do I see anyone else? Yes, of course, you,” he affirmed gruffly. “I came to invite you in person.”

“Well…” This must be how deer felt when confronted with headlights. “I’m not trying to be rude, but, uh… why?”

Seokjin looked offended. “Why? So you can meet people, silly.”

You struggled to connect the information given to you but he was not making it easy. “Meet people?”

“Yes,” he tutted. “You want to meet people, don’t you?”

Did you? You gave him a confused look.

“As Taehyung said,” Seokjin continued as if you completely understood. “People like you need to be surrounded by good people. And I happen to know a lot of them. We need people like you in this industry.”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t have any intention of–”

“Precisely.” He barreled on as if your front entryway was his own stage. “That is precisely why.”

Silence.

A bird cawed outside.

“H… Hah?”

Something in his expression softened. You almost forgot the weight of the wood box in your hands. You almost forgot the ridiculousness of you in your pajamas and Kim Seokjin in his luxury designer clothes. You almost forgot that you were in a completely different class, completely out of your element, completely ordinary.

He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets, neatly tucking back his coat. “Look, I understand if you absolutely don’t want to have anything to do with me and the others. I don’t blame you. But,” he added, nodding lightly. “Your presence is missed. I do believe your interactions with those around you have done them a world of good. Maybe not everyone, yes, but you’re still spoken of, even now.”

“What…?” You blinked, doubtful. “Really?”

Seokjin chuckled, nodding. “You are good company.”

You thought all those times. All those events, dinners, parties. You mostly remembered Jungkook letting you be. Sure, you had light conversation with those around you. You couldn’t remember all their faces. They had been simple conversations, you thought, but they weren’t superficial once you really thought about it. You didn’t have basic industry chatter to talk about, so instead you had asked about aspirations. Asked why instead of what. Why acting? Why modeling? Why entertainment? Talks of the past, the present, the future. Pretty normal, you thought, but maybe…

Maybe it was more normal to ask what they were achieving.

Maybe it wasn’t so normal to ask who someone was.

“Anyway,” Seokjin coughed, breaking you out of your daze. “I wanted to give you ample time to think about it.”

“More than two weeks?” you mused.

He waved a hand. “Don’t know about you, but I need time to schedule and plan things. I need time to get myself ready to interact,” he muttered, half-joking and half-bitterly.

The meat was getting heavy. “Ah… What’s the dress code?”

“Aish, didn’t I tell you?” Seokjin tapped the side of his head. “Think about it. Then give me a call, and I’ll arrange for hair and makeup and fashion. No, don’t even bother asking about price. I’m inviting you to introduce you to people, so I am paying. End of discussion. And…”

A loaded pause.

Tick of the head and Seokjin very seriously asked you.

“If Jeon Jungkook is there, will you be fine?”

You answered honestly.

“I don’t think it will be an issue.”

He surveyed you for a long second and then nodded.

“Alright. Let me know when you’ve decided. Have a nice night. Don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help in some way. I’m not a stranger. By the way.” He added one last comment before leaving, spinning back around with a hand on your now open door and the other pointing to the side of the box. “The butcher shop I purchased this from is owned by a friend of mine. Make sure to send your family and friends his way once you taste how delicious and high-quality it is.”

-

You walked into the nightclub, oddly at peace among the blaring music and bustling bodies, stepping into a world of light and dark and pushing boundaries.

The past couple hours had been spent in a chair, fussed over by a detailed makeup artist and equally talented hairdresser. It had been more enjoyable than you originally thought. Perhaps it had been Seokjin’s excellent choices or their own expertise. They even both asked for your input and offered their advice. It felt like a joint effort. Even the fashion stylist who came later was as informative as they were considerate. You had found out that they had taken your name and your photos to have your fortune read and performed color analysis, respectively. That explained why Seokjin had asked you to take those plain photos. This had made color and style selection much simpler, as you naturally liked all the choices. You were no stranger to tight outfits, although this type of nightlife was not the kind of place you frequented. The stylist had brought a rack of choices, and just in case, a black slip dress looks good on everyone, and all of them were compelling in one way or another. All nightclub appropriate. You asked what to try first. The stylist had asked you how you were feeling.

Feeling?

The answer came out before you could stop it.

“Like revenge.”

You had laughed it off, and so had the staff, but you had seen the gleam in their eyes as if they, too, relished in being part of this so-called revenge.

Well, they were.

You weren’t perfectly sure if this was actual revenge yet, no. You were certainly dressed for it. Black lace corset. Tight lilac short skirt. Black patent leather jacket cropped so severely that it was nearly a bolero. Delicate black pumps with a thin ankle strap. The kind that was a bit fiddly to get on, but was worth it in the end. There was a power in this type of outfit, the kind that made you hold your head high and walk alone with confidence. Perhaps similar to a superhero costume. Just as impractical, too, heh. But that was okay. You weren’t here to prevent any crimes.

Just commit them.

Maybe.

In any case, you weren’t even sure what was going to happen tonight. Something had been planned for you, so you walked in and looked around, wondering if you should ask for help. The luxury was obvious from every corner of the building. From the furniture choices to the expansive bar to the crisp, pressed uniforms of the employees, every detail oozed sophistication. You admired the tastefulness of it, surprised that it didn’t feel gaudy or overdone. Must be the refined touch of Kim Seokjin. Even the clientele was jaw-dropping. You spared a moment to look from face to face, wondering if you should be less obvious about it, but then some paused and gazed back, unafraid, offering a simple smile.

They didn’t know you didn’t really belong, yet.

The sheep’s clothing worked, then.

You almost laughed at your own unspoken joke, and then, either compelled by fate, chance, or some mixture of both, your eyes rose and you saw him. It was definitely him. It was only the back of his head and black leather, but you knew it was him even before he turned around.

Jeon Jungkook.

You had seen him many times after the fact. However, this time was the first time that you came with weapons at your disposal, subtle as they were. For a moment, you wondered what to do. You stared as those brooding dark eyes widened in surprise. His hair was slicked back. Leather jacket, white tank, dark jeans, probably black boots. You couldn’t see it all from this angle. Still, you knew him too well. He wasn’t a suit-and-tie breed unless he was forced by the occasion. And, anyway.

You had mildly hoped that he would dress down these days, as it both suited him and reflected your preferred personal taste.

Egotistical, yes, and, now that you could see, true.

You broke the gaze first, seeing a waiter approach you. Bowed lightly, walking with him as he explained what was in store tonight, and yet your mind was still fixated on that shocked gaze from the far table up above. It did register that you were going up the stairs too, but somehow you knew that you weren’t going near that table.

You wondered if he regretted everything.

You wondered if he saw you differently now, dressed up and on a mission.

You wondered if Jeon Jungkook understood, truly, how deeply he had hurt you with his misdemeanors and you wondered if you, truly, understood how you didn’t help by always sweeping said misdemeanors under the metaphorical rug. You wondered if there was a chance for reconciliation or if this was all a big mistake. Maybe this was only another instance of two ships silently passing in the night. A pair of parallel lines that would never intersect. Or… would this become a pattern that could only be completed by intersection?

Whichever one it was, it was going to be evident tonight.

You raised your head, seeing a champagne bottle and another of expensive liquor.

“Are you ready?”

Your eyes shifted and you smiled up at the waitress.

“Yes, I am.”

She smiled and bowed her way out. Revenge. You savored the word. You had never thought of it that way, but then again that was because you always believed in the higher road. In enduring. That was how strength was formed. Vindication was unladylike and uncouth. Or so the story goes. You became aware that you were being watched.

I don’t belong here.

You twisted your body and stared directly into Jeon Jungkook’s eyes.

He pivoted away immediately. Unable to hold your gaze. Ashamed, probably. You pondered quietly. He brought you into this. All this around you – beauty, opulence, and the shadows between gold. Even without him, your connection to these people remained because his friends believed in you for some reason. You agreed, because maybe there was still something here for you.

But that was no reason to believe that you belonged here nor to act like it.

You realized, suddenly, that some part of you still thought you had to keep up the front.

“Excuse me.”

You looked up to a man who had the expression of a pleased kitty cat. His eyes disappeared from his smile. Radiant, cream skin. Long, bleached-blond hair that was half-tied back from his face but still skimmed along his shoulders. He wore a suit and tie, perfectly tailored, and was noticeably shorter than nearly everyone here. Then again, almost everyone here was a model, in high heels, or both.

“Did I interrupt?” he asked lightly, his intonation hinting at a Busan dialect.

“Oh, no,” you answered with a shake of your head. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me to space out like that. Please, sit down.”

The man laughed behind his hand before pulling out the chair and sitting down. He had elegant fingers that reminded you of a pianist. “It was cute,” he commented, somewhat shyly, before turning away and clearing his throat. He faced you once again, composed now, and bowed in greeting, stating his name.

You hurriedly did the same.

“I hope I’m not thinking too highly of myself by sitting here with you.”

You shook your head. “No, no. I want this to be an open invitation.” You poured him a glass of liquor to start off the night. He had a noticeable presence. Not a towering one, rather, as someone who knew himself well. Still, you could sense an introverted soul. “Don’t feel too pressured. I only want to ask a question.”

His eyebrows raised, curious. “A question?”

You smiled. “Yes. And I want you to promise to answer honestly.”

His lips upturned thoughtfully. There was something playful about his expressions. Very cute. Perhaps unintentional. “A promise right away to a stranger?”

You allowed yourself a little mischief. “Do I look like I could hurt anyone?”

The man across the table caught the bait and toyed with it. An expert. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean It wouldn’t be pleasant.” He smiled again, with that same kitty cat contentment, and nodded. “Okay, I’m ready to tell the truth. You only get one chance. Use it well.” His tone teased, but his voice was sincere.

The question.

You stared into a stranger’s eyes and asked.

“What is the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?”

-

i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.

--

masterpost

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Someone New 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend for years, but you’re slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor

Note: I got like insanely sick suddenly and I still feel off.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“Sam, that paradise punch was a bad idea,” you groan as you struggle to get your bag out of the trunk of the taxi. 

“Whatever,” Sam slurs as he comes around, “I tipped the driver extra. Bud, you think you can get this out for the lady?” 

The driver is all to helpful as he comes around you take the handle from you and swiftly plants the bag on its wheels. It’s everything you have that isn’t bundled up into storage or sacrificed to the dumpster. You thank the man and swallow a belch. 

“Have a safe trip, miss,” the driver nods and turns to slap Sam’s arm, “and you, sir.” 

Sam salutes the man and pushes away from the cab, your carry-on slung from his shoulder. The two of you clumsily lift the bag over the curb. You look up at the airport as the roar of jet engines cuts through the dusky air. 

“I feel like I’m drunker,” Sam snickers. 

“Uh huh, me too,” you murmur. Two hours on his couch was barely enough. If anything, it’s just set your vision askew. “They’re not gonna let me board if – hiccup—I'm blasted.” 

“Don’t worry, we can get water,” he blathers and yanks your bag onto its wheels, “off to the land of vikings! Skol!” 

“Skol?” You follow him in a clamour. 

“It’s what they say, isn’t it?” He chuckles, “I saw it on a show or whatever.” 

“I... yeah, usually while they drink, not stumbling drunk,” you rebuff. 

“Sound pretty sober to me with all that whining,” he rebukes. 

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes and follow him through the automatic doors. 

He veers off and you follow him in confusion, glancing back at the check-in counter. He stops before a bright vending machine and feels around in his pocket. He taps his card and focuses intently on pressing the button. 

“Waterrrrr,” he drones and leans on the machine to reach through the slot. 

He hands it over and you unscrew the cap. You chug half the bottle and let out an obnoxious belch. You cover your mouth in embarrassment and offer him the rest. He finishes it off and you linger by the machine as you let the cool flow settle in. 

“Feel any better?” He asks. 

“A little. I’ll have a coffee on the plane.” 

“Nah, you should sleep.” 

“Maybe,” you take out your phone and tap the side button. Nothing. 

“Anything from Mr. Carter?” Sam asks. 

“No,” you black the screen and shrug. “Come on, I gotta check my bag.” 

“You should check that boy,” he blathers as he stands straight and once more yanks the bag after you, “tell him what’s what.” 

“Sam, he’s busy--” 

“He’s your best friend! At least, he likes to say so then do nothing.” 

“Quit,” you beg him, “this is hard enough.” 

“This is what you need--” 

“I know!” You throw your hands up and face him as you come up before the counter. “I know. Okay. I’m stupid and---” you shake your head and let the truth sink back into the depths of your soul. You face the clerk and sigh, “I’m sorry, I’m here to check my bag.” 

You pull out your wallet and slide your passport across the counter. You show your boarding pass and pay for the extra weight. Your bid a safe journey and carry on with only the smaller bag still on Sam’s shoulder. 

Wordlessly, you sit in a row of seats. You look up at the clock. You’ll have to go to the boarding area sooner than later. He won’t be able to come with you. 

“Sam, I’m sorry. I just... is it that obvious?” You croak. 

He puts his hand on your back and rubs it gently. It’s soothing. The tension trickles down your sides and seeps out. It feels good to admit it aloud yet mortifying just the same. 

“No, I just sense these things. I know Steve, I know you, and I know he doesn’t deserve you. Even as just friends.” 

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands, “I am so stupid.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re human. It stinks. Our brains, our hearts, they aren’t logical, as much as we like to pretend,” he huffs, “trust me. We’ve all been there and if we haven’t, we’ll get our turn.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” you sit up as your eyes glisten, “I just... he said he’d be here. I thought I’d at least get that--” 

Your name echoes through the airy space and you wince. Right on cue, just before you can collapse completely. You turn as Steve rushes toward you. He wears jeans and grey sweatshirt. He remembered! 

You stand as Sam sighs. You smile, only halfway before you see the figure trailing behind him. Peggy looks less than excited to be there. Her sleepy lashes flutter as her wave hair is pinned back in a messy chignon, still elegant despite the carelessness. She wears a dark green trench over a silver satin nightie. She must’ve rushed out with him. 

“Hey,” Steve nears, “sorry I couldn’t make it for drinks, but I couldn’t miss take-off.” 

“Mmm, they don’t have any afternoon flights,” Peggy mutters. 

“They do but landing doesn’t line up with the train,” you shrug and glance at her briefly. Her glare darts back at you. You wonder if that work dinner was so impromptu after all. 

“Are you excited?” Steve drops into the seat next to you. 

“Uh, yeah, nervous,” you smile as the weight lightens from your chest. He came. Maybe Sam is wrong. Maybe friends isn’t that bad. 

“It’s going to be great. You have to send me updates, oh, and I’ll be sure to send you all the wedding news!” He grins, “I still can’t believe you’re going to be so far away.” 

“It’s a good opportunity,” Peggy intones as she sits on his other side, resting her hand on his forearm, “in her line of work, I’m sure they don’t come often.” 

You press your lips tight and look down, “yeah, not really.” 

“She can get out. Make new friends. Some girl friends, maybe,” Peggy remarks. 

“I’m sure she’ll make all the friends,” Sam interjects, “I hear there isn’t much sunlight over there, she’ll be a breath of fresh air for those grumpy vikings.” 

“Mm, yes,” Peggy grumbles as she trails her hand down to Steve’s. “Too bad you won’t make the engagement party.” 

“Or the wedding,” Steve adds. 

“Well, we’ve a full wedding party as it is,” she shrugs. “There’ll be lots of pictures.” 

“Right, yeah, I’m sorry to miss it all,” you frown. “I...” you sit back and nearly choke, “I’m gonna hit the bathroom.” 

You stand as Sam puffs out heavily and to your surprise, Peggy swiftly gets to her feet, suddenly very awake. Your soberness is setting in along with a pulsing headache. You really don’t want to deal with her. If you knew he’d bring her, you’d have told Steve to stay home. 

“I’ll come with you. I’m splitting at the seams,” she trills. 

“Alright,” you agree with a tint of uncertainty. 

She twirls and you walk parallel to her towards the bathroom signs. You chalk it up to the feminine habit. It isn’t unusual to visit the toilets in pairs, even without much kinship between you. It does however spoil your attempt at respite. You less so want to empty your bladder than clear your mind. 

You don’t say a word as you enter the bathroom. You go into a stall and she does the same. Your mind clogs your biology and you have to sit and focus before you can get a flow going. By the time you’re trickling into the bowl, she’s done. A toilet flushes and you hear her unlatch the door and approach the sinks. 

She’s in heels, even at this hour. The sink sprays out water and you listen to her hum as she washes her hands. You finish up and flush, coming out meekly to use the sink next to her. You focus on the simple task as she watches you in the mirror. 

Sensing her gaze, you look up and pull your hands out from under the censor-activated faucet. You meet her eyes and nearly wince at the steely intensity. You stand straight and move past her to retrieve some paper towel. 

“This is a wise decision,” she says, “well-needed.” 

You look at her again as you dry your hands, “thanks.” 

“Oh, I’m not congratulating you. About time you got some sense,” she sneers. 

You wince and crumple up the towel. You drop it in the bin and cross your arms, “okay, well...” 

“It’s better you’re not here for any of it. He doesn’t need the distraction.” 

You chew the inside of your lip as venom drips from her voice. You’re still slightly tipsy and too tired to process this. You have no response. 

“The distance will help you get over it. Finally,” she snips, “you know, I thought it was almost endearing at first then it just became pathetic.” 

You swallow. You’re humiliated that even she could see right through you. You can hardly blame her for her spite. After all, she’s his fiancée, not you. 

“He thinks it’s silly. He laughs.” 

You flinch then. Hard. Your chest rents and your stomach boils. 

“He knows. It’s obvious. I mean, it’s convenient, isn’t it? You’ll do anything for him and really it was rather helpful. Took a lot off my plate and his but it’s time for all of us to grow up. I will be his wife and he doesn’t need some girl to measure out his laundry detergent or remind him to eat.” 

You blink and look away. You cross your arms and push your shoulders up, “got it.” 

“So why don’t you go ahead and just put him on mute now?” 

“Peggy,” you whisper. 

“We’re getting married. You know you can’t stop it, that’s why you’re running away. So end it.” 

“You don’t have to be cruel,” you mutter. 

“I could be horrid. I could have been for all these years. I believe I’ve had remarkable restraint with you,” she points a manicured nail at you, “you should be thanking me for having the grace to do this in private.” 

Your lip trembles and your cheeks tug painfully. You nod and turn away, “don’t worry, Peg, you won’t hear from me. He won’t either.” You make your way to the door, “I wish you both the best.” 

“Mm, I pray you find some clarity and perhaps some maturity along the way,” she retorts as she follows you, heels clicking loudly across the tile, “perhaps you might find someone too. Someone you deserve.” 

Her last words sting. The derision is pungent enough to make your nose crinkle. Someone you deserve... because you could never ever be good enough for Steve Rogers. 

💟

You don’t look back as you go through the gate. You can’t. It’s too painful. The tears have receded but the pain is only deeper. Peggy’s words reverberate in your head, nipping at your ears as your nape burns hotter and hotter. 

She’s right. Sam too. This is overdue. It’s exactly what you need to do. You know it. It’s the reason you chose this. That moment when you were faced with being the eternal wobbly third wheel, you made up your mind. It’s over. That part of your life is behind you, but you don’t know that you’ll ever stop feeling this way. 

It’s hard to settle in your seat, even knowing you have ten hours of flying ahead of you. Disembarking alone will be another hour at least, then finding the train station, another few hours... It’s a lot of time to think and you just can’t stop. 

You don’t take the book out of your bag or touch the screen in front of you. Instead, you sit, slumped down in your seat, eyes drifting back and forth, as you wallow in your self-pity. You stay like that through the flight. You decline the mid-flight meal and the snack cart. You don’t even get up to use the bathroom. 

You close your eyes and float away into memory. You can feel the scene around you. You can smell the stale air freshener forgotten on the shelf above the desk and hear the muffled thrum of music through the walls. You sit on the bed, your textbook open in your lap and your laptop open by your leg. Steve’s on the other end, phone in hand, texting as his golden hair flops forward over his head. 

He’s younger. That rosiness still kisses his cheeks as subtle freckles speckle his pale skin. Yet he’s just a well-built as ever. Broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, long legs. He’s the very picture that should appear next to ‘hunk’ in the dictionary. Every girl’s dream. Your dream. 

“Huh,” he chuckles and drops his phone, “this girl in my history class wants to meet up.” 

Your heart plucks and you force a smile, “a girl? Meet up?” 

“Oh, yeah, she lets me copy off her pop quiz every lecture. Guess I kinda owe her.” 

“Wow,” you utter, the only noise you can eke out. Owes her? Funny, you did his laundry last week and helped him print out his term paper... what do you get? 

“Yeah, so uh, do you think you could send me a copy of your notes?” He pushes himself to the edge of the bed. “I probably won’t be back tonight.” 

“Right,” you nod and hide your embarrassment at the insinuation. 

“You can crash here if you wanna. Long way across campus at night,” he shrugs casually as he grabs his varsity jacket. 

“No, I’ll... I’ll just go now,” you get off the bed and close up your books. 

“Probably a good idea. Just in case she wants to come back here,” he chuckles, “see ya in poli sci?” 

“Sure,” you keep your chin down. “See ya.” 

Your eyelids lift as you come out of the dazed memory.  

New York is gone. Steve is gone. You’re all alone. You’ve left it all behind but that home was never a home. It was all a farce you built on a childish hope. You’re done lying to yourself. It was never going to be. You didn’t miss any chance at all. You just wasted your own time. 

You just languish there in the airplane seat. It’s still hard to believe it’s all real. It isn’t until the wheels bounce and hit the tarmac that it fully sinks in. 

You’re not doing that again. You’re better off alone. You have to be, right? You don’t really know. You don’t even know yourself. You just know the girl who only wanted to be what he needed. 

But what do you need? What do you want? Can you figure it out? Is there anything in this land for you that you couldn’t find in New York? 

At least you’ll have lots of time to figure that out. Intimate hours with yourself to dwell and cringe and regret. Time to think, time to move on, time to cut him out. 

As you join the line to have your Visa stamped, you pull out your phone and turn off airplane mode. You swipe through to Steve’s last message. It was weeks ago. That makes it easier to hit that button; ‘mute’. It’s a start. Maybe in a few weeks, you’ll be ready to hit ‘block’. 

[megalony]

Get Her Out

This is an Evan x Reader x Eddie imagine, based on the last episode of season 6. This will have a follow up part, I hope you will all like it as I've had a few requests for a Buddie x reader fic and finally got inspired. Let me know what you think.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17 @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: When a callout goes wrong and a bridge collapses, the whole team is in peril. Including (Y/n) and their unborn baby.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, damn." Evan leaned his forehead against the window, feeling the cool glass blistering into his skin like it was melting through his head. He pressed the tip of his nose against the glass to try and get a better view of the scene building up in front of them.

A smile rose to his lips when he felt (Y/n)'s cheek on his arm and she leaned across him to try and get a look at the scene and see what they were going to walk into.

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and sighed when she saw the mess on the road ahead. An RV was turned on its side, blocking off most of the road ahead and at least three other cars had collided and were crashed or turned upside down.

(Y/n) moved her hand to Evan's thigh to steady herself when Bobby turned onto the hard shoulder and started bumping across the uneven ground and over the potholes. The hard shoulder was their best bet to get close to the scene.

When the truck pulled to a stop, (Y/n) tore off her headphones and followed Evan down out the truck with Eddie and then Chimney behind her. Hen was driving the ambulance which she managed to park just shy of the accident on the road rather than the hard shoulder.

Pursing her lips, (Y/n) placed a hand on her hip and tried not to let her shoulders sag as she followed the team over to the hard shoulder barrier. Great. Both Bobby and Evan climbed up and over the barrier with ease and Chimney swung his legs over and hopped across. There wasn't much chance of (Y/n) making a graceful swoop across it like she would of been able to a few months ago.

Not now she was twenty-nine weeks pregnant.

"Need a hand, mi amor?" Eddie slumped his helmet on his head and moved his other hand to (Y/n)'s back between her hips.

He kissed the side of her head, mindful that his helmet didn't bash into her temple before he sat on the barrier and held his hand out.

(Y/n) smiled and took his hand, moving to sit on the barrier while Eddie swung his legs over and hopped down. He moved so he was stood in front of her and held both her hands, taking her weight and helping her down. She squeezed his hands and pecked his cheek, letting him keep hold of her hand and guide her over to where Bobby was assessing the scene.

"Okay, Chim, Buck I want you to get in the back of that RV, there's a woman trapped in there. Hen, we'll get the driver out. Eddie, go check the other drivers, anyone that can walk and get out, direct them to the other medics."

Everyone nodded at their directions and looked around before their gazes set on (Y/n) who was waiting patiently.

She already knew what she was going to be told. She could see it in Bobby's eyes, ready to give her the order that she was sick of hearing by now. The order to hang back and wait around to be a spare pair of hands for any medical emergencies.

She would be able to tend to anyone who needed medical help who could get out of their vehicles unaided. (Y/n) couldn't assist on this one. She couldn't get in that RV and get the women out, she couldn't help the other drivers from their cars or kneel down and try to give first aid and medical help to anyone that was stuck.

It was lucky that she had even been allowed out of the station and on this call at all.

"(Y/n), wait by the ambulance, when we get everyone out, you can assist as a medic."

In other words, watch and wait.

She nodded and folded her arms over her chest, letting them rest on her bump and press her florescent jacket down into her stomach. Her jacket barely zipped up over her stomach anymore and (Y/n) had worn Evan's jacket a few times even though she wasn't meant to for 'protocol reasons'.

"See you soon, babe." Evan murmured against her temple and gave her a quick kiss before he jogged off after Chimney towards the side door of the RV. They couldn't get in through the back doors which were completely jammed, they would have to bypass the driver and climb through to the back to get their victim out.

(Y/n) grinned when Eddie kissed her temple and she watched him flurry off too.

Waiting was the hard part. She didn't like waiting to help people, she just wanted to bustle in and help get everyone out safely and be useful rather than stand around waiting like a spare bag of parts nobody needed.

But she knew she couldn't help. The last time she tried, Evan got in her way and told her not to and Eddie went silent and kept giving her that look that let her know she was in trouble. It wouldn't be worth getting in the way to try and help and end up having the boys get angry at her and have Bobby tell her the rules again and again.

Her arms stayed folded over her stomach as if for protection and she took a few daring steps closer to the overturned RV. (Y/n) leaned down and peeked through the windscreen.

"Cap, we might have a spinal injury." Chimney's quiet voice came through the radio and (Y/n) pursed her lips. It was a good job dispatch was still on the line and contacting a different team. Airlifting the patient to the hospital was faster and safer than the bumpy road, moving and jostling her too much would only do her more damage.

Turning around, (Y/n) backtracked down the road, past the few cars that had swerved to a stop to try and assist and went towards the ambulance. She opened the back doors and hopped in, grabbing the two backboards they had stocked up. Once both boards were slumped on the gurney, (Y/n) clicked off the brakes and wheeled it down.

It was hard to steer the gurney when no one was stood at the other end, it was like moving a shopping trolley wityh a dodgy wheel and a lot of weight piled in. But she weaved between the cars like an expert driver and skidded to a stop just shy of the RV.

With one backboard in hand, (Y/n) headed over to the upturned vehicle and crouched down in front of the windshield the team had removed to get inside.

She ignored the pointed look she gained from Hen and kept low, shuffling inside and moving between the seats to pass the backboard across to Evan. "Here, I think Cap's contacted the air services, they'll be ready to take her in a minute."

(Y/n) bit down on her lip and dropped her gaze down to the woman Chimney was slipping a neckbrace on when she felt Evan's piercing gaze. His eyes did a sweep up and down of her and he took the board she handed out before he pointed back towards the front of the van.

"Out. You shouldn't be in here." His tone wasn't harsh but his words were firm.

They were cramped in the back as it was with broken glass, shattered cups, plates, broken metal and God knows whatever else littering the floor. (Y/n) didn't need to be in here risking a fall or a collision of any sort and she was on light duties which meant no heavy lifting either.

"Yes, bossy." (Y/n) murmured in response with her hands raised and she clocked the grin Chimney aimed her way before she turned around.

(Y/n) grabbed the headrests and used them to propel herself back through the mess and towards Hen who was crouched down with the driver. The young girl didn't look to be much older than (Y/n) and she had a severely broken leg, a few damaged ribs and a concussion. But she was awake and alert which was a good thing.

She patted Hen's shoulder and moved back through the windshield to grab the second backboard. And she bent down just on the threshold of the bonnet and went down on her knees to stop her legs from aching in a crouched position.

"Didn't you hear Buck?"

"He told me to get out, I'm not technically in there, am I?" (Y/n) placed the backboard in front of her knees so it was between her and the victim they needed to transport.

Bobby had been derailed over the other side of the bridge to help sort evacuations and make sure everyone else was getting out. Eddie was assessing another driver and there wasn't another fire unit here yet. Hen was going to have to wait for help or let (Y/n) help her get this girl out and in the ambulance. Both Evan and Chimney were occupied with the lady in the back.

"What's your name, honey?" She looked down at the girl with a bright smile and carefully slipped a neck brace on her while Hen made sure her leg was secured in a brace. They needed to keep the broken leg in place and stop any arteries or veins from bursting.

"Molly."

"Shall we get you in the ambulance, Molly?" She reached out and took the IV bag from Hen and placed it on her shoulder before she inched closer to Molly's shoulders so Hen could stay near her feet.

"What happened to light duty?" The pointed look on Hen's face was commanding but she kept her voice low enough so Evan couldn't hear. That was a sign that she wasn't going to tell or command (Y/n) to stop if she tried to help. Hen would only advise and tut.

"Please, like I'm not already doing heavy lifting. This baby probably weighs more than Molly." (Y/n) glanced her eyes down to her stomach. She was carting this child around all day and night, sharing the weight of a backboard for less than a minute wasn't going to hurt or strain (Y/n) anymore than normal.

She wasn't doing the firemans lift or carrying Molly by herself, it was only a few steps from the car to the gurney (Y/n) had moved as close as she could. She would be fine and they both knew it.

Hen rolled her eyes but sighed and gave in. They needed to get Molly in the ambulance and both women needed to be at the hospital. And (Y/n) wanted to help, Hen could see how desperate she was getting on calls to try and be of some use.

Molly groaned and closed her eyes tight when they lifted her up and carefully eased her onto the back board. Once she was secure, (Y/n) pushed into a crouching position and lifted her end of the board as Hen started to shuffle out the car.

They held her up between them and walked across to the gurney and carefully placed the board on top of the gurney. Hen held onto Molly and helped her lift up enough so (Y/n) could pull the board away and slump it down on the floor.

"See, easy transfer. Do you want to wait for your friend?" (Y/n) braced her hand on the back of the gurney and smiled encouragingly when Molly nodded.

The three of them watched as Evan and Chimney soon emerged from the windshield, backboard balanced between them level with their chests. They could get her straight in the chopper that had landed about fifty feet away, in the centre of the evacuated bridge. Once she was off, they could transfer Molly to the hospital and be out on their next call of the day.

(Y/n) tilted her head down and smiled at Molly as she said a quick goodbye to her friend who they mistook for her mother. But her lips pressed together tightly when she looked up at the same time as Evan frowned at her.

He had enough strength to hold the backboard with one hand as if it and the lady on top of it weighed nothing at all. The way his shoulder and bicep tensed made (Y/n) shiver but it was how Evan pointed his free hand at her that made her knees shake.

"You're in trouble." He muttered before holding the board properly again and following Chimney towards the chopper.

"Is he your partner?" Molly asked quietly, looking between both women when Hen snorted and laughed.

"One of them." Hen retorted with a cheesy grin but she straightened up when Bobby and Eddie started heading their way. It didn't take long for them to assess the situation, seeing Evan and Chimney handing over their patient to Lucy in the chopper. And when Bobby looked between (Y/n) and the gurney, his hands fell to his hips as he tried to gain his breath back.

"Alright, I want you both in the ambulance, get ready to transport. We'll finish up evacuating and wait for traffic control." Bobby pointed to the ambulance and (Y/n) and Hen both nodded.

He would wait until later to reprimand (Y/n) for not listening to him and waiting like he asked.

"I'm gonna check that van, see what's in the back."

"Good idea."

Eddie nodded and bypassed Bobby, resting his hand briefly on (Y/n)'s hip as he walked behind her. His fingers danced over the hem of her trousers and near her stomach before he headed off to see the van just ahead of them. He didn't like the thought of leaving without checking to make sure no one was unconscious and trapped in the back. And he wanted to check what was in the back. It wouldn't be the first time they had a van caught up in a collision with dangerous chemical tanks in the back.

"Let's get you ready to go."

(Y/n) nodded at Hen and followed her lead, pushing the end of the gurney as Hen wheeled the front and trailed towards the ambulance. It was much easier when there was some weight on the gurney and two people to steer it in the right direction.

When they got to the ambulance, a silent exchange passed between them and they silently agreed. Hen would dirve the ambulance. (Y/n) didn't like driving either the ambulance or the truck, it made her nervous. And her stomach was starting to get in the way of the steering wheel.

Once the gurney was in the back, (Y/n) locked it in place and set the saline IV bag off her shoulder and on the end near Molly's feet so the wire wouldn't get tangled.

"Do you want some morphine for the pain?" She could see Molly's mangled leg was going to cause her some discomfort and she was still crying. Although she was trying to hold strong and take deep breaths, all Molly wanted to do was cry and wail.

"Please."

(Y/n) leaned across the stackers and found some bottled morphine, filling a needle which she then carefully injected into Molly's right leg.

"Will I need surgery?"

Tilting back, (Y/n) leaned to the right and took a look at her leg. The break wasn't puncturing through any muscle and the bone wasn't exposed through the skin. She would need it setting back in place and a pot on her leg, but that didn't necessarily require surgery.

"I wouldn't think so, just a cast and no driving for a few months." She smiled as she busied herself putting a pulse monitor on Molly's finger just as a precaution and to keep check on her vitals. She could already feel the ambulance pulling away, ready to head down to the hospital.

"God, we were supposed to be on a road trip, not a hospital trip." Molly tilted her head back and dragged her fingers through her hair, brushing the tangled strands away from her eyes and off her sweaty forehead. She could feel herself wanting to cry again and a sob caught in the back of her throat. But when she turned to look at (Y/n), she let her eyes linger on her stomach and her expression softened. "Is it your first?"

A soft smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips and she nodded as her eyes cast down to her stomach. This was technically her first pregnancy, but they had Chris waiting for them at home and he had started calling (Y/n) his mum and referring to Evan as pops. He prided himself on telling people he had a mum and two dads at home.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"No, but my money's on a boy." The three of them had decided to keep it a surprise, but that didn't stop them from guessing and speculating.

(Y/n) thought it would be a boy, mainly because then she would be outnumbered and fully surrounded by four boys. But she knew Eddie wanted a girl and Evan guessed it was a girl, although he was just excited to have a baby in his arms soon enough.

She could see Molly's smile spreading and she was about to say something else, most likely ask another question to distract herself from the pain and uncertainty she felt. But she stopped herself when she realised (Y/n)'s soft, motherly look had switched to confused, tense brows and pursed lips.

Why were they going backwards?

She knew Hen had turned the ambulance around when she pulled up, all she had to do was veer to the left and go straight. She didn't have any reason to be reversing. And they were in the middle of the road, at this angle, where could she be reversing to?

"Hen?"

"I-"

(Y/n) slammed both her hands down on the gurney and locked her knees when the ambulance shuddered.

What the Hell was that?

It didn't stop. It felt like the tyres were coming loose and rolling away as the back end of the ambulance dropped down a few feet, tilting everything at an odd angle. (Y/n) leaned her weight on the gurney that thankfully stayed locked in place and didn't move towards the back doors, but she could feel her heart jumping into her throat when the ambulance started to move.

Somehow, that didn't feel like Hen's driving. That felt like they were going down a slope. How could they be going down a slope when they were on a bridge?

"What's happening?"

(Y/n) didn't have the answer to that. She couldn't bring herself to look down at Molly and try to lie to her and give reassurance. (Y/n) wanted reassurance herself, but she knew she wasn't going to get it.

She looked ahead towards the front of the ambulance and what she saw out the windscreen terrified her. She could see the bridge. Great cracks in the concrete floor like tree roots sprouting from the earth broke apart the floor in great chunks. It looked as if the road was made of polysterine and someone had snapped it in half.

They were falling off the bridge. Where were they going to land? How were they going to land? Would they all be crushed?

"No! No!" Evan bashed his palms against the side of the ambulance, moving in the opposite direction. But he didn't know what he was trying to do or how he thought he could help or stop such a large vehicle like that. Telling it to stop wasn't going to work and he couldn't hold it up in any way.

As the ambulance veered down to the left, plummeting towards the ground below where gravity was at its strongest, Evan tried running to the right. He hurried along the crumbling tarmac, avoiding falling chunks of stone, shattered pieces of glass and large slumps of brick and concrete.

His hands crashed down on the bonnet of the ambulance and a terrified scream left his lips when he could no longer feel the ground beneath his feet.

He had nothing to hang onto. Nothing was around for Evan to grab when the half of the bridge he was stood on was falling towards the ground and he was too far gone to try and reach for the remaining bridge that was still standing.

His breath caught in his lungs and his stomach lurched up towards his throat when his feet left the floor and for a split second, maybe two, he was falling. He didn't fall for as long as he thought he would. It felt just like Evan had dreamt he was about to fall off a cliff. Just as his body fell, he jolted awake.

In the space of a second, his body crashed against the ambulance which broke his fall and knocked him out.

***

Throbbing aches pulsed through Evan's body with his blood like he was a duke box radiating waves of pain out into the air. He found the strength to open his eyes but he had to focus his vision and find out where the blood was coming from that was dripping onto the windscreen.

His nose. God, it ached and pounded like someone had punched him. But when his gloved fingertips dabbed against his nose, he was relieved to find it still in tact and in place; it wasn't broken.

He could feel the blood welling up in his mouth and when his lips parted, blood and spit dribbled off his tongue and teeth and onto the broken windscreen that was holding him up.

He didn't feel safe.

He wasn't so sure how strong the ambulance was or if this sheet of glass was going to keep him up for very long. And when he focused his eyes past the blood and into the ambulance, he had the perfect view of Hen. No blood, no obvious breaks or abrasions, but no movement either.

"Hen? Hen?" His voice crackled through the radio, but she stayed silent and unconscious. "Bobby? Bobby… Captain Nash, do you copy?"

No response.

"Chim?"

"I'm good, I'm up on the bridge, no damage done to me this time."

He was up top. That was some good news. He had access to the truck and the winch and harnesses and any equipment Evan might need to find the rest of their team and get them out safely. He didn't have to climb his way back up to the top of the bridge if Chimney was already stationed up there and unharmed.

"Eddie?" Evan gulped as he spoke his partner's name. He was desperate for an answer, but unsure whether he wanted to actually hear it or not.

He didn't want to imagine whereabouts Eddie was. Evan didn't see him on the bridge, nor did he see Bobby either just before it collapsed. He didn't want to guess where his boyfriend was or if he was hurt or okay or unconscious.

"Ugh, I- I'm in the van, a-and I'm stuck." Whatever else Eddie murmured was too quiet for Evan to hear.

Evan leaned over the side of the ambulance as carefully as he could to get a look around. What van was Eddie in? Was it back up on the bridge, or was it somewhere beneath them in all this debree and mess? He got his answer when he looked down. The ambulance was resting on top of a van, and Evan would bet any luck that it was the van his boyfriend was trapped in.

"Oh, I've broken a few ribs." Eddie hissed and closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths but it only made the pain worse. So he switched to short, panting breaths that were shallow enough that it didn't burn his ribs or make them twitch and ache. But a sudden thought sent his blood curdling and made his breaths hitch even faster. "(Y/n)? Fuck, baby are you okay?"

He hadn't heard her through the radio.

Neither of the boys had.

"(Y/n)?"

"I- oh, I'm here- I'm awake." She didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure if she was okay, but she was awake and somewhat alert and the boys needed to know that.

It took some effort to open her eyes and once she did, (Y/n) tried to look around and gather her bearings.

She was on the floor.

She was wedged in the corner of the ambulance, very close to the back doors which she hoped wouldn't swing open and make her fall.

Her eyes danced around the ambulance and she let out a shaky breath when she looked over herself. Poor Molly was curled up on the stretcher, trying to balance and stay upright as she sobbed and trembled like a leaf. And (Y/n) had both legs stretched out, awkwardly slumped beneath the gurney which luckily hadn't run over her legs in the struggle.

But when she looked down to her left, her lips pulled down in a grimace and she sniffed. The gurney had broken. Part of the metal frame had snapped off and it had sliced against the upper side of her left arm.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, a few scrapes… I think my knee's dislocated. The baby's moving, that's a- a good sign, right?"

"That's good." Eddie gruffed, trying to catch his breath and remain calm but it was getting increasingly hard when he was stuck like a mouse in a trap.

It took some effort for (Y/n) to wriggle her right arm out of her jacket and she reached behind her to grab the back of her jacket. She leaned to the right, slowly peeling her arm away from the metal pole from the gurney. She slowly dragged her jacket off her left arm that was starting to burn and ignite. Once it was off, she looked down at her arm and took another deep, shuddering breath.

The metal had sliced right through the skin, separating it down near the muscle. But at least it wasn't impaled in her arm or cut through to the bone; small mercies.

"Molly, can you pass me a pack from that drawer? It should have some gauze and packing in." She held her hand out and pointed towards the cupboard just above the gurney. She needed some gauze to pack and bind her arm until it could be stitched up.

"This?"

"Hm."

Once she had it, (Y/n) ripped the plastic packaging with her teeth and unfolded the bandage glued to some large cotton padding. She bound it tight around her arm, grimacing and stiffling a moan when she pulled it as tight as she could to stem the bleeding.

"Are you okay?" (Y/n) tilted her head back against the wall and looked across at Molly. She hoped the gurney had softened any wounds or bruises Molly might have gotten in the fall. She looked okay, and she shakily nodded. Nothing was wrong apart from her previous injuries.

(Y/n) managed a tight-lipped smile and she kept her left arm tight to her side to try and ignore the throbbing ache and each pulse of her heartbeat that sent her arm thudding. She flopped her hand on her stomach and started to glide her fingertips up and down.

She could feel the baby moving. That had to be a good sign. She wasn't hurt anywhere else apart from her arm and her knee which she just knew was dislocated. Maybe a few bruises here and there, but (Y/n) prayed no harm or damage had been done to the baby. They were kicking and wriggling which she took as a good sign and it was comforting. If she felt nothing at all, she would of been crying in panic.

Reaching her hand out, (Y/n) pressed her right hand into the floor and closed her eyes, trying to steady herself and take a deep breath when the ambulance moved.

Evan was climbing through the window into the front to try and talk to Hen and bring her back round.

Evan patted Hen's shoulder when the smelling salts in his pocket brought her back round. He smiled and checked her over before he peered into the back of the ambulance. He couldn't see (Y/n) at first. But after a second look around, he realised she was stretched out on the floor in the far right corner.

"How you doing back there?"

(Y/n) smiled but it faded to a grimace and she closed her eyes when the ambulance shuddered. She prayed it wouldn't move until they had it on a winch and tied off. The last thing they needed was another fall.

"Get her out." Eddie slammed his hands down on the floor and tried to dig his fingertips into the metal to drag himself out, but he couldn't. From his waist downwards, he was imbedded in a pile of rubbish and furniture that was squeezing down on his ribs and making his legs go numb.

"I need to get you first-"

"Get. Her. Out."

"Eddie if I do that and the weight shifts you'll get crushed. Chim, get the winch set up I need harnesses and clips to secure this ambulance so it doesn't fall. As soon as I get Eddie, me and Hen can get the girls out."

"I'm not going anywhere." (Y/n) spoke softly into the radio and nodded across at Evan.

She was safe and secure for now, she wasn't bleeding out or in dire pain or need of a doctor. (Y/n) and Molly were okay to wait in here, they had medicine and equipment and all the first aid tools they needed for an emergency.

Once Evan freed Eddie, he and Chimney could secure the ambulance and get everyone out and then they could work on finding Bobby who hadn't called in his location yet. They had to have a system and they had to work this like any other call. Eddie couldn't call the shots and take a dangerous risk with his safety because he wanted his girlfriend out first. Evan wanted her out too. Evan wanted her and the baby safe and sound but he couldn't risk crushing their partner in order to do that.

"Okay, hang tight and I'll be as quick as I can."

Evan didn't wait for Chimney to send down a harness. He shuffled out of the ambulance, keeping tight hold wherever he could and scuffed his boots against the side to scrape down the rubble and get down. He felt like he was rolling down the snow on the side of a mountain, trying to safely reach the bottom.

He stumbled once he was on firm ground and his knees shook when gravity got hold of him once again. He rounded to the back of the van that was squashed between the broken concrete and being crushed down with the ambulance resting on the top.

"Eddie? Babe, you in there?"

"Yep."

"Alright." Evan tried the doors but they were jammed, he wasn't getting in without a set of jaws. He turned on his heels and took a look around, feeling like a tidal wave of relief had crashed over him when he noticed another station pulling up along with some police.

Just the help he needed.

Whoever got out the truck with a set of jaws was a lifesaver and Evan didn't give them time to question him or complain. He confiscated the jaws from their hands and bolted back over to the van.

Once the doors were cut open, Evan wrenched and yanked on the door until it swung loose and almost hit him in the face. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the bright streams of sunlight that poured behind him and lit up the previously damp, musty van.

He squinted and leaned down to try and locate his boyfriend.

There he was. All Evan could see was Eddie's arms, head and shoulders, the rest of him was cut off with chairs, odd bits of furniture and God knows what else this van was carrying.

Evan climbed up and looked around, wincing when Eddie grabbed the back of his boot to stay stable and secured to something. There wasn't time to try and dig Eddie out of this mess by hand. He couldn't start removing every item and uncover Eddie, it would take too long and be a lot of work and pain.

"Buck…" Eddie rolled his lips together and reached his hand up. He wanted out. He needed out, now.

"You know this is gonna hurt?"

Something flashed across Eddie's eyes as he rose a brow and huffed. The look almost made Evan laugh whereas his words only seemed to irritate Eddie, but he nodded all the same. He didn't care if it hurt, he just needed to get out and get some feeling back in his body and move. They needed to go and get (Y/n) and they had wasted enough time already.

He still wasn't happy Evan had come down to free him first. He should of got (Y/n) out, she was their priority.

With a deep breath, Evan crouched down and held out his right hand until Eddie grabbed it with a fierce grip. He held Eddie's elbow with his other hand, nodded down at him and started to pull.

"Aghh… Fuck!" Eddie slammed his right hand down on the floor and screamed when something sharp grated against his right hip. He bashed his gloved hand down again and again and kicked his legs until Evan dragged him enough to shimmy his hips free.

As soon as Evan started to walk backwards, Eddie crushed his knees into the floor and crawled as he finally got free from his cage.

He stumbled up onto his feet and flopped against Evan's chest as his knees gave way. He took a few deep breaths, feeling Evan's hand let go of his elbow and move to cradle the back of his neck instead. Each breath Evan took fanned against the side of Eddie's head and tickled the shell of his ear, but it felt comforting.

When he felt Evan press a kiss just behind his ear, it seemed to snap Eddie back into reality and he gave his partner a tight squeeze before he pulled back and stood on his own two feet again.

His arm flopped out across the back of Evan's shoulders and he leaned his temple against the side of Evan's head as they slowly climbed out the van. Eddie cradled his left hand against the right side of his chest, wincing and hissing through his breaths. He had a few breaks, two at the least, possibly as many as four broken ribs.

God, he was going to be in pain for the next few weeks.

"Alright, go sit down. I'm gonna rig up and get them out the ambulance." Evan looked over his shoulder but he hated the sudden anger and pain that pooled in Eddie's eyes and made his upper lip curl.

"We're getting (Y/n) out."

"Babe you're injured, let me do this."

He could see that Eddie was in pain and a harness was only going to amplify that pain. Broken ribs could lead to a punctured lung, the last thing Evan wanted or needed was Eddie suffocating and breathing into his chest cavity. He could watch and wait and when (Y/n) was out he could help and get in another ambulance with her.

"That's our girl and our baby, I'm not waiting around. I'm coming with you." He wasn't sitting back like a useless ornament and letting Evan do this on his own.

That was their girlfriend and their unborn baby up there, Eddie was going up to get them out whether Evan agreed to this or not.

"Guys, I've secured the ambulance to the truck, going down for Molly now." Hen spoke into her radio and nodded up at Chimney who was leaning over the side of the bridge to check everything was going smoothly.

Hen barged the side door to the ambulance open and stood on the threshold. "Alright (Y/n), I'm gonna get Molly down, and then Buck should be able to get you out, okay?"

The harness she wore was tight and cutting into her chest that already felt a little worse for wear. She was closest to Molly, it would be easier to rig Molly onto a harness and get her down. Then the boys could climb in and get (Y/n) out between them and get her to safety.

She hooked her hands beneath Molly's arms and gently eased her up onto the end of the gurney so she could get a harness round her.

"Oh god."

"(Y/n)?" Hen paused in her administrations, halfway through with strapping the spare harness around Molly when (Y/n) gasped.

"No, no, oh boys…" Terror flooded (Y/n)'s voice as she dug her fingers so tightly into the radio on her shoulder that she almost snapped it in two. She could feel her body beginning to shake and her eyes closed as tightly as she could manage.

She needed the boys. Now.

"Baby what's wrong?" Evan latched his free hand around Eddie's shoulder and held onto him tight, stopping him from trying to get a harness on.

What was happening in that ambulance? Why was (Y/n) beginning to cry?

"I- oh, I think my water broke."

[adventuringblind]

Breaking Point

LandOscar x Reader

Genre: angst

Summary: the tragedy and revival of Lando Norris and Max's sister as told by mostly Lestappen

Warning: sexual and physical abuse. Panic attacks, hospitals, injury descriptions

Notes: I'm sorry to the Carlos girlies for my crimes. T_T he was just a good villain for this story, and I feel so bad about it because he's wickedly out of character.

Masterlist

When Max thought about his sister dating a driver, he thought that meant one. No, instead she's dragging Max to talk to her partners. Plural. Meaning: more then one.

It's not that he doesn't like it. It's just a little shocking, is all. He figured her and Lando would get together eventually since they were similar in age. He didn't know that Carlos was also in the picture.

But Carlos is good guy, loyal, a provider like Max himself.

Plus Carlos is Charles' teammate and they get long. Charles tells him all the time that they have a fun working relationship. The same Charles who is ready to murder Jos.

The Monegasque and him had gotten together in 2020 right after they came back from lockdown. They moat certainly did not follow protocols.

Charles has just dragged Max and his sister into the Leclerc family. A place that they feel welcomed and safe.

Needless to say that Charles adopted the protective older brother role over Max's sister. So when he starts noticing things happening around the garage with Carlos, he's immediately on the hunt for what's happening.

The first sign something has gone wrong is halfway through 2021, about six months into the relationship between Max's sister and her two partners. Living in an abusive household has give all the Verstappen children a unique was of sensing when somethings not right. And right now, it's written all over his sisters face as her and Lando are sitting in Max's driver room.

"How come you're here and not with Carlos?" He asked. They shared a wary glance and shrugged.

"Wanted to see you for a while." Was the excuse.

Charles is the next to notice something. A month after the first incident, he runs into the trio arguing around the side of the Ferrari garage. He listens for a while despite him knowing it's wrong, but he can't help it.

"Both of you are idiots! Am I the only one who cares about us?"

"No! It's just-"

"Shut up and leave me. I'll see you both tonight. Be ready for me."

Charles only peaks out from his hiding space after Carlos leaves. He can see the two shaking and reassuring each other.

But arguments happen all the time, right?

Charles and Max keep a closer eye on them after that. Both the younger seem to be isolating themselves and neither if the older is happy with that.

The next incident is one the should've never happened. Max regrets not seeing it sooner. Charles blames himself for nit seeing the signs.

Their off week in Monaco is an enjoyable one. Charles and Max had gone out to a club with his sister and her partners. They were to wrapped up in each other to really pay attention to what else was happening.

Max's phone rings at an ungodly hour. He looks at the caller ID and something twists inside of him.

"Lando? Everythi-"

"Apartment. Need you please."

Lando sounds winded on the other line and panicked. Then the call ends and Max is left in silence.

He thanks the adrenaline for being able to get Charles awake and into the car. It's a painfully slow drive.

The pair gets through the front desk easily and take the stairs two at a time. They stop at the door and Max tries to listen for anything.

Nothing. Silence. An eery quite that is unatraul for the trio.

Max bangs his fist on the door. There is movment from the otherside as a latch is undone.

Carlos stands blocking the door. "Max?"

"Hey, Lando called and said-"

"Lando called?"

Charles and Max share a look. The spainard doesn't seem right. He's out of breath, his clothes are messed up, and his eyes are rapidly scanning around the area behind them.

"Can we come in? Is he okay?" Charles asks, but receives no response. Max takes matters into his own hands. The little patience he has finally vanishing as he pushes past Carlos.

Max starts searching for his sister and the Brit while Charles confines a frantic Carlos to the kitchen. The apartment is wrecked. There is broken class on the floor of the bathroom.

He stops when he gets to the bedroom. The scene before him sends his stomach up his throat. Lando is frantically trying get his sister into clothes. She's unconscious and Lando is wrecked.

"Max!"

The Dutch jumps into action and attempts to asses the situation. It looks like they were probably having sex (as much as he hates to think about it). How had it gone so wrong?

"What do you need?" He'll ask what happened after they get situated.

"She's unconscious and hasn't woken up yet and I don't know what to do." He says it in one breath. Max registers how small he sounds and the tears on the Brits cheeks.

"How did it happen?"

Max tries to remain calm, but it's getting increasingly difficult to do so as Lando is shaking his head no and continues trying to hoist the girl into his arms, but his body isn't cooperating.

Max does it for him and bundles his sister into his arms. Lando nearly falls over just walking and Max has to call Charles for help.

"Lando- I didn't mean to-"

"Stay away, Carlos. You say that everytime but you never mean it."

A pang of guilty realization hits Max. Carlos had done this? But why? What was he trying to acheive?

The Spainard doesn't follow as they leave the building. He doesn't even try to stop them.

They end up in the emergency room. Lando had failed to mention he is also hurt and now is getting stitches down his back and a brace for his knee. Charles stays with Lando while Max sits with his sister. She's awake but unable to use her vocal chords for the next month at least.

Max is taken off guard when she starts frantically crying for Lando. He does his best at soothing her like his mom and Victoria used to do.

It's hours later when they finally get to leave. Charles sets them up in the guest room of the flat then comes and joins Max on the couch in the living area.

"I don't understand what happened in the slightest." Charles tosses his legs over Max's lap.

"I do. I saw what the room looked like. My sister was unconscious and tied to the headboard." Max chokes on the last part. As if growing up with Jos wasn't painful enough. He'd take her with him even before she was an adult. They worked so hard to heal from the horrors of that house.

"Sexual and physical then? Do you think they will tell the FIA? It could get Carlos dismissed from the sport."

Max shakes his head. There are so few people who even know about their upbringing still. Sure, most have an idea, but that doesn't give any details to how bad it had been.

"One day at a time."

~~~~~

Lando is very keen on not letting her get out of bed the next day despite her best efforts. She takes to yelling at him through text to speech to at least sit up so they can process the events.

They don't get that luxury as Max and Charles are dragging them out of bed for breakfast. It looks worse then it really is, in her head. She's dealt with worse. She could handle Carlos and his anger. One which technically hadn't been her fault but she'd rather it be her then Lando who had originally taken the brunt.

They finish eating in silence. She knows Max is going to get his answer eventually, so she nods at Lando to get him to explain. No point in drawing it out.

"Thank you for coming to get us last night." The Brit starts. His hands now becoming the most intresting thing.

"Are you going to tell us what happened?"

"Things were going well for a while. It was nice and we were all happy and in love and Carlos was sweet and caring."

"But?"

"But I'm not the most well behaved person..." There is a red tint on Lando's cheeks. "Carlos had been struggling with Ferrari and needed a reprieve, and we became that for him. It was consensual and stuff, but then it felt distant. He was doing things we hadn't agreed upon and getting progressively angrier. It became something neither of us looked forward to anymore."

She catches the two older boys' looks. Max is furious and Charles looks betrayed, in a way.

"He um-" Lando breaks. His breathing is more labored then before. The female takes his hand in her own and runs her free one down his spine. "-It escalated when he finally lost patience with me. It was really bad. I've never been so scared in my life. I safeworded out but he didn't listen. Then it kept happening. Max- your sister became your stand in."

Well she was hoping he wouldn't tell Max that part. He didn't need to know the details of what Carlos did.

"We tried to ask for help a few times. Jon walked into my room amd saw us frantically covering bruises. Then Carlos got more mad and more possessive."

"The argument outside of Ferrari. Carlos said he didn't want you guys to be exposed. I thought he meant the relationship." Charles' eyes cloud with guilt. The realization hits him harder then he'd like.

"Yesterday when we went out, I knew it was going to be hard. Carlos had been frustrated more often with Max and his own team so she'd gotten the brunt of the hits for the last month. Then this guy tried a move and it was a downward spiral from there." Lando trails off the story with a shrug and reassuring squeeze to her hand.

"What made you call?" Max is very clearly trying to restrain himself.

"He had a look to him like he wasn't even present. I went to get something for him and then called you. She was already unconscious at that point and Carlos was freaking out so he stared throwing things which is how I got the cut on my back."

Max determines that they will be staying with him until further notice. He tells the staff at the front desk to not let Carlos up. They also end up having to block his number due to the sheer number of texts and missed calls.

Daniel ends up finding out because Carlos won't leave the McLaren space alone. The Austrailian becomes more like a guard dog armed with a friendly smile.

Her and Lando already had a strong bond, but sharing such an experience certainly pulls them closer together.

Things get better one pain stakingly day at a time. Aside from their polar opposite responses. Max says he's getting whiplash from it and Daniel says a few times Zak might have a stroke if Lando keeps up like he is.

Lando had become oddly defiant. He already was in certain ways, but now it's just leaking over into his everyday life. Like setting a oundary wasn't enough, being a brat in the bedroom isn't enough, simply saying no isn't an option. Lando is blatantly defiant and struggles to take any kind d of direction.

Versus his female counterpart who is much quieter. She does anything that anybody asks her to do. She rolls over for them. Because it's better to do that then make it worse for herself. A thing she learned from living with Jos.

Where Lando goes looking for attention, she is avoiding it at all costs. Nobody is sure anymore of how to help them and therapy is a slow process.

Charles reminds Max daily. "One step at a time."

~~~~~

Oscar wasn't sure about his rookie season. His entrance into the sport was not the best and he's received so much backlash that he's prepared for copious amounts if hate.

Lando is friendly with him. Certainly doesn't let himself get close, but he's there for emotional support and advice.

They warm up to eachother eventually. Lando even introduces his girlfriend to him and it feels like he's been succesful in creating some kind of trust between them. Not in a 'your my favorite person' kind of way, but a budding friendship at least.

Oscar, who is just trying to get through his rookie season, manages to screw it all up. How, You may ask, did he do this? Simple, he broke the number one rule of falling for his teammate and his girlfriend. They were not supposed to do this to him! How is he supposed to move forward normally when all he wants to do is join their cuddling session in Lando's room?! All they do is comment him and cheer him up and it does something to his brain that he doesn't like.

Well - he does like it and to much at that.

He'd been in enough relashonships over his life to pick out certain things. Namely, who is typically the more do.inate one. Whether that be life decisions or in the bedroom, it really doesn't matter, but Oscar can clearly see neither of them are.

This leaves Oscar with two options. He can leave them alone and pune in silence, or he can ask Max his opinion because the Dutch driver is honest. He chooses the Latter.

Oscar knocks on the door of the room and hears some shuffling. It swings open and it's obvious Max wasn't expecting him. Chest exposed for anyone walking by to see.

"Oscar? If this is about Lando and my sister then you can come in. Otherwise, leave me alone."

"The first one."

Max steps aside and let's Oscar in. He's met with a sprawled out Charles on the bed who is also only in sweats.

"Oscar?"

"Charles?"

"He's here about the children."

"Oh good! Please end my suffering."

Oscar drags out a chair and sits down. His mind is running every possibility of what this means. "How do I end your suffering?"

Max looks him dead in the eye. "They won't shut up about you and I'm tired of them waking me up everytime there is a decision to be made. They need reassuring for everything even if they agree. And I love my sister, but I also love to sleep."

"They talk about me?"

Charles groans in annoyance. "Non stop, mate. It never ends. Oscar this and Oscar that." He mocks.

"But before you do anything you should know that they've been through some shit together. If you hurt them after they've done so much to heal, I will not hesitate to send you into the barrier."

He thanks Max for the... encouragement? Threat? Both? And then leaves. He goes straight for Lando's room at the Hilton next.

He knocks and again gets met with a sleepy Lando. Cmust be something about tonight specifically because Lando only sleep at inconvenient times.

"Oscar! Everything alright? You look like you've run a mile or somwthing."

Oscar fumbles. He forgot how hard feeling can be. Lando let's him in and he almost just breaks. Both of them were probably all comfortable in bed before he ruined it.

"Osc? Seriously mate? If something is wrong you can tell us."

Fuck it, he's already come this far. Might as well throw all caution to the wind.

He smashes his lips down onto Lando's and pulls off. He's going to get addicted if he doesn't pull back now.

There is no response. A shared look between the two and then a smirk from the Brit which throws Oscar off entirely.

"So you think you can handle me then?"

~~~~~

Lando is very please with the way things have turned out. The duo is back to a trio with Oscar now involved.

It's a different dynamic then it was with Carlos. The Austrailian is more gentle then the Spainard ever was.

They haven't told Oscar all of the details yet. Just that he should be wary of Carlos because he can go overboard and get possessive despite them not dating anymore. Lando won't admit it to himself that sometimes he worries Carlos will actually try something that will have long term consequences.

Oscar, for what it's worth, has fended off Carlos on and off track. He's also more perceptive then Lando had initially though. Or he's just really bad at hiding his emotions. He picks up and where not to touch, things that trigger the two, their reactions to certain events. Oscar doesn't pry, but Lando knows he's catching on.

The hardest part to work through had been the sexual aspect. Talking about it only does so much after a certain point. Prior to Oscar, they'd slowly started to do things. They'd done a few joint counseling sessions that helped them talk through a plan and set some boundaries.

The Australian doesn't push to do anything. But finally, they get to a point where they can talk about it with him. The pair is certainly nervous, but he respects them, asks questions, and clarifies his own boundaries. It's such a drastic turn around from what they had before.

Oscar's patience doesn't waiver, and as they build up confidence, he also gets a but more bold. It just - it works. Lando isn't sure exactly to describe it other then he feels safe, loved, and wanted at all times of the day and it's not just from one half of his partners.

Eventually Lando is able to slip back into the, much more defiant, version of himself. It's fun seeing just how long it takes Oscar to break.

The answer: he doesn't.

That much is made apparent when the trio, Max, and Charles go out for dinner and Lando decideds to test the limits.

Admittedly, he probably went to far. But in his defense Oscar was obviously not giving him any attention. He wasn't meaning to do what he did, it was an accident, and he apologized immediately, but Oscar never wavered. Barely batted an eye at him.

He left Lando with a smirk and a 'We'll sort this later.' They did and Lando was sore the next morning.

They fall into a rhythm. Pre-race kisses and post race cuddles.

Then Carlos shows up again.

~~~~~

She could tell by the radio that Oscar was disappointed with his race. His car had taken damage from Carlos and he'd lost position because of it.

He'd been keeping it off track until recently. Now he's getting more aggressive and frankly, it scares her.

Her and Lando are wary as they walk into his room in the McLaren hospitality. They enter without knocking but Oscar is laying on the ground with his arms open.

"I need a hug."

They oblige and fall onto the floor with him.

"Is it bad that I-"

"If you really need it then we can." She giggles, stopping him before he can get in his head to much.

"How'd you know?!"

"Mate, you're laying on the floor and these suits don't hide everything."

It's so different compared to Carlos. Oscar checks in every few minutes. Reminds them they can say no at any point. It's almost therapeutic, in a way.

They are all very naked and vulnerable at the moment. Which is horrible considering the door isn't locked. Which would normally be fine since it's a rule to knock before entering. In this case, however. It's awful because Carlos has just opened the door wide open.

She freezes; suddenly aware of every sound and feeling around her. Lando manhandles her body behind him and pulls something, a small throw blanket, to cover them. She feels guilty for not giving it to Oscar and leaving him to fend for himself.

Lando's breathing is labored. Her throat hurts from the last encounter they had. The memory burned into her. Her voice strains thinking about it as tears well in her eyes.

"You really couldn't knock? You just had towalk in on us to, as if you hadn't done enough already?"

"Glad to see nothings changed. They're still whores and eventually going to play you."

"Haven't done it yet mate. Personally, I think they are very loyal."

Oscar stand and puts his clothes back on. Almost like Carlos isn't even there.

"Also, for the record, if somebody looks at you with the fear they are, you've fucked up badly. Now if you'll excuse me I have two lovers I need to comfort."

Oscar slams the door on Carlos. Then he pulls clothes back onto both of them. More specifically, his clothes.

"Alright, I didn't want to ask before and figured you'd tell me what Carlos did on your own time. We are officially out of time. I promise to sit here and listen and you can take as much time as you need."

And they broke. Huddled all together and spilling every detail of what drove them this far. Oscar listened intently, validated feelings, and didn't judge. He tensed every occasionally at hearing what Carlos did, but aside from that, he tries not to show his anger.

"I'm going to make a call, alright?"

~~~~~

Max is angry. He's seeing Red and it's not just because Charles is two steps in front of him In a Ferrari shirt.

No, he's upset because Oscar called him and said his sister is crying. The Austrailian is going to have a fist to the face when he sees him. Which isn't long because they are outside of the hospitality building.

Max gets a grip of Oscar's shoulders and starts ranting. He's not even aware of half the stuff he's saying. He doesn't snap out of it until he feels Charles tap his shoulder and tell him his sister has been talking to him for the last few minutes.

Max is about to apoligize for misreading the situation. Then Carlos comes into Oscar's line of sight and the Dutch realizes that even he has a breaking point. A snapping point, more like.

Max is instantly grateful he's gripping Oscar's because the Australian is fighting to get a hold of Carlos. The Spainard is spewing vile thing directed at his sister and Lando.

It becomes a fight between Oscar trying to escape while Max and Charles keep him from doing something he can't take back.

"Oscar!" The pair comes to eye level with him. "He's not worth risking your career." He seems to come to his senses and relaxs. Max and Charles both ease away tentatively.

And Max regrets it instantly as Oscar walks right up to him, but lays not a finger on Carlos.

"Honestly Carlos, was it not enough to break them sexually? Physically? You also feel the need to humiliate them? How would the paddock feel if they knew what you truly are?" It's said just loud enough to elicit a few whispers.

Max and his Monegasque partner (who is also mad at Carlos still) bring the trio to their room and make sure they are okay. He hates leaving his sister like this, but he can rest easy knowing she's in good hands.

"Hey Max?"

"Yeah Charlie?"

"I guess it's the people who are the most patient who snap the hardest, huh?"

And Max couldn't have said it better himself. Maybe it's a good thing he's not patient...

[yourfatherlucifer]

Our Aurora : Chapter 2

Poly!Ot8!Ateez x Afab/Female!Reader

Summary: Attending university with your eight boyfriends wasn’t easy, neither was sharing a mansion with them.

Warnings: MDNI, this mini series includes tons of smut, slight violence, protective ateez, poly relationship, established relationship, mentions of mxm, choking, other smut themes.

bullying and violence for this chapter.

WC: 1.5k

AU: University

Genre: Smut/fluff

Nets: @newworldnet

Tags: @deltamoon666 @watermelon2319 @justconniez @a-teez-4-exo @mingtinysworld @certifiedmoa @kittkat44 @sanhwalvr @spenceatiny18 @vtyb23 @sousydive @haebaragisworld @yourallaround-simp @therealcuppicake @ja3hwa (please make sure I can tag you in your settings)

SERIES MASTERLIST

The morning sun beamed in your eyes, you tried to move away from the direct sunlight but strong arms held you back from moving. When you opened your eyes you saw that it was Mingi holding you.

Right, he fell asleep with you after your bath last night. You turned your head to look at his sleeping face. He was at peace.

He was happier these days, happier than ever. More than he was when he had met you. Mingi was at his lowest then, his heart was aching. His brain was telling him horrible things. He was the epitome of depression and anxiety.

High school was hard, but to him, it was pure hell. Even as a big guy, he was still bullied, he was in pain. He had no one. He had no friends. You’d see him in the halls, he was cute to you. Very cute. Mingi had always worn headphones to block out the other kids.

You never liked your friend group, they were the other rich kids that sort of pulled you with them everywhere just because you were richer. However, they participated in harassing the poor boy. You wanted to stop them but didn’t know what to do.

Until one day, you were trapped in a thunderstorm outside because your ride got caught in the weather. Mingi had been rushing through the storm, clearly crying. He wasn’t watching where he was going and had slipped near you, taking you to the ground with him.

He gasped and scrambled to get off of you, his clothes were sticking to yours because of the rain. You could see the pain in his face, the panic as well. But what you noticed was the black eye. The huge swelling. It angered you. Your so-called friends went too far.

“I’m sorry!” He yelled out over the storm.

You shook your head, “Mingi, please, don’t apologize.”

He froze in his movements, “H..how do you know my name?” He felt the happiness bubbling within him. Someone knew him.

Your ride had finally pulled up, “It doesn’t matter, for now, I’m giving you a ride home,” you crawled from beneath him and pulled him up, which was hard, “Get in, please.”

He stammered over his words but followed you into the backseat, “Thank you..”

-

When you had pulled up to his home, he had realized his family wasn’t home. Typical. They always left him alone, by himself.

“Oh, um..”

You shook your head, “Doesn’t matter, I’ll just take you to my home, my parents are on vacation so I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Mingi’s heart fluttered, however he was terrified. He didn’t know if you were being genuine or if you were gonna trick him.

He sat in silence, fiddling with his ruined headphones, they looked like they were purposely ripped and broken.

“Mingi, did..did they do this to you?” Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. You just knew you’d teach those kids a lesson. They weren’t your friends. How dare they harm someone as sweet as Song Mingi? He never hurt anyone.

His head snapped to face you, “What? No. I-“

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Yeah..they did this. They always do. This is my third pair of headphones this month.” You could see the pure sorrow in his eyes.

Your fingers clenched in anger, “I see.”

When the car pulled into the mansion's front lawn, your driver stepped out of his seat and opened your door for you, “Miss, welcome home. I’ve already let the household staff know about your companion, they have fresh clothes for him.”

“Thank you, Hyunwoo.” You smiled, taking Mingi’s hand to bring him inside. He was so glad his eyes were still puffy from crying, else you would’ve seen his red face.

Never has he had someone care about him so much. He couldn’t help but fall in love. It didn’t help that he already had a crush on you.

Your staff greeted you inside, rushing to help you out of your wet clothes, “Guys, I’ve got it.” You laughed, “Just bring the fresh clothes to my room, I’m gonna get him comfortable.”

You trudged up the stairs, taking the large man with you, “Don’t worry about my staff, my parents like to spoil me too much, they have staff to take care of me when I’m alone. I’m almost 18, you’d think they know I can take care of myself.”

Mingi gave you a small smile, “It’s okay..I may not be used to this, but it’s alright.”

As you pulled him into your room with a smile, “The bathroom is over there, go ahead and get undressed, I’ll bring you fresh clothes. My staff will wash and dry those for you.”

He shyly pulled away from your hand and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He stood there in confusion. Just how did he get here? With the prettiest girl in his school. He didn’t know she’d be this nice and caring, how could she hang out with such horrible people? He wondered.

You went through your closet and changed into warm pajamas, you’d had to wait to blow dry your hair since Mingi was in the bathroom.

One of your maids knocked on the door and came in, “Here you go, Miss. your companions clothes. Henry was the only one who seemed to have clothes that would possibly fit that boy.” She passed off the clothes to you.

“Thank you. You can go now.” You smiled as she left.

You knocked on the door and Mingi slowly opened the door, peeking his head out, “Thank you.” He took the clothes from you.

You could see a bit of his chest and it looked bad, there were new bruises and healing bruises.

You sighed, they must’ve pushed him over and kicked him. They were gonna pay for this. You didn’t care if Mingi would hate you for taking this into your hands. You just couldn’t stand by while they hurt someone. What if they took it too far and killed him? No, you couldn’t allow it.

He closed the door and put on his new clothes. Just a plain shirt and sweatpants.

“Would you like to stay the night, Mingi? I have several guest rooms if you’d like. I’m sure you don’t want to be alone.” You suggested with a smile from the other side of the door.

Mingi opened the door with a puppy-like smile, he was beginning to feel safe around you.

“Thank you, for everything, Y/N. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I don’t know how to thank you.” Mingi stared down at his feet.

You stepped up to him, reaching out for his large hand, “It’s okay, there’s no need to thank me. You don’t deserve any of this.

You brought him to your bed and sat down, “Why don’t you get some rest, I’ll go make you something to eat, okay?”

He nodded with a small smile, “Okay.”

-

As days passed, the two of you got closer. He was becoming your one and only friend and you didn’t mind. He managed to avoid his bullies with you around, but one day you weren’t.

You had hurt shouts in the school's courtyard and found a crowd.

Oh no.

You could hear Mingi’s cries for help as no one did anything, they only recorded and laughed.

You were pissed. You threw your bag down and rushed into the crowd. Finding his group of bullies. All you could see was red. Your fist collided with someone’s jaw. This person was kicking Mingi.

“Fuck off of him!” You shouted.

The crowd went silent as your fist repeatedly bashed into the kids face, his nose was bleeding bad but you didn’t care. He hurt Mingi.

“Y/N, please.” Mingi cried out for you, the bullies already leaving his side to take care of you. But you weren’t having it.

You fought them off with everything you had.

Your fists were hurting, they were covered in blood but you didn’t care whose it was.

From that day forward, no one fucked with you or Mingi. The school didn’t even bother doing anything because your parents were their biggest sponsor.

On the day of your graduation, you had asked Mingi out and he was ecstatic. He was becoming a man. He vowed from the day you saved him that he wouldn’t stop at nothing to protect you.

You had kissed him on the stage and flicked everyone off, a final fuck off to the horrible school you two were leaving.

As the memory faded from your brain, you turned to look at the sleeping Mingi.

You were so glad for the day you met him. He called you his princess yet he was yours. He was the true princess.

“Y/N?” He stirred awake.

“Yes, Mingi?”

“I’m hungry, princess.” His stomach grumbled just right after his words and you both laughed.

“Then let’s go get something to eat, I’m sure the others are home and would like to eat as well.” You just knew Wooyoung would want to cook for you, especially since you were sure they all knew what happened with Hongjoong fucking you so hard.

Together, you left to go downstairs, happily and in love.

[whereisten]

Promises

Part 1 | Part 2 | more coming soon

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst

Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, stalking, unprotected sex, slight choking kink, slight impregnation kink, oral sex (female receiving), rough sex, overstimulation

Word Count: 6.5k

((A/N: this is a short fic series inspired by the song “Promises” by Calvin Harris & Sam Smith. It's been some time! Y/N is now a bakery shop owner! I hope you enjoy this short series, I believe there will be four parts. If you're a jujutsu kaisen fan, the Geto version will be added to our ao3 :)))

----------------

[2 Months Later]

It’s 10:30 PM, the chairs are up and you’ve just about finished mopping the floor. Jaehyun sighs and leans back into the driver’s seat of his car. He’d been watching you every night since he left. He couldn’t stand to not be near you, or to not make sure you were out of harm's way once you left work and walked home at late hours.

If he hadn’t messed up that night, if he hadn’t been vulnerable with you and given into his heart's desires life a selfish, touch-starved man, he would still have a friend. He could keep you company when you closed the bakery, and talk to you about everything. Just like the days before that night.

You lock the front door with your keys, and start your journey home. 

You sigh, dragging your hand bag over your shoulders and buttoning your coat. “Well, at least there’s no rain tonight.” Your eyes and legs are tired, and all you want to do is climb into bed and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate, maybe you’ll watch a movie. You put your headphones in and fix your hands into the coat pockets

You’re about halfway into your 25 minute walk when Jaehyun notices two men following you. As usual, he drives slowly, and without his headlights on the dark road so you don’t suspect being followed. The two men walked out of an alleyway as if they were waiting for you to pass them. Jaehyun’s brows furrow. He knew you couldn’t hear their steps because you were listening to music, but how couldn’t you feel their presence?

“Shit.” He grumbles, knowing that he will have to make himself known if he is about to stop these men.

2 minutes later and they still huddle together while walking behind you, however, you bop your head to a new song just released by your favorite k-pop group.

“Oooo I’ll have to add this one.” You say to yourself, adding the song to your Bakery’s playlist on Spotify. By the time you look back up, you see a car swerve right in front of you.

“Holy-“

“Get in!” Jaehyun unlocks the door of his coupe, which is now perpendicular to the sidewalk, blocking you in with no choice but to get in.

Your look of shock turns into one of disdain. You take your headphones out. “You’ve got some nerve.”

You walk in front of the car and flash both middle fingers before continuing home.

Jaehyun curses under his breath, swerving the car back into the street to drive beside you.

“Listen, let’s talk about it, okay? You just need to get in right now, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t even know who you are.” You roll your eyes.

“Y/n! Stop fucking around! Get in!”

“Hey hey hey…no need to get aggressive, man…she said she’s not interested.” A strange voice says from behind you.

Before you can turn around to see his face, he drapes a heavy arm over your shoulders to stop you from walking any longer.

“Leave her alone…she told you to get lost.” Another man speaks, your eyes widen.

“You alright, sweetheart?” They turn to you, your heart begins to race as you get an immense feeling of dread.

Jaehyun quickly puts the car in park and jumps out. He walks towards them as they pull you back. “Get off of her.”

You reach out for him with pleading eyes. “J-“ you start, but you feel something circular pressing into the small of your back.

“Oh no, we’re saving her from you, she’ll be perfectly fine once you’re gone.” The man chuckles.

“Tell him to get lost or we’ll put a hole in you.” The other whispers into your ear.

You gasp and look back up at Jaehyun.

“Fuck off dude, you’re a creep. Isn’t he, sweetheart?” He presses it in more.

“I-I’m fine, just go away!” You look at Jaehyun in hopes that he will listen, one wrong move and it could be either of you with a new bloody hole to model.

Jaehyun lowers his hand and nods. “Okay.” He walks away and jumps back into the car. You feel a sense of relief, but it's short-lived as you are now subject to whatever these men want to do with you. You feel disappointment and despair. Did Jaehyun really give up on you that easily? Could he really abandon you in this moment when you needed him the most?

The men drag you back into a dark alleyway.

“Please! Leave me alone! Don’t kill me!” You beg for your life in hopes that they will just leave you alone, that they’ll have a sudden change of mind. But deep down you know they’ve been planning, they’ve finally caught a victim and don’t plan on stopping now.

They only laugh and tie your hands together behind you while you sob and plead.

“Quiet down, sweetie, you’ll live but only if you shut the hell up.”

One of the men says before throwing you into the brick wall. You grunt as you feel your back collide with the rough surface.

The man is about to say something else when you hear a sharp, high-pitched noise echo into the night. You shut your eyes, flinching when you feel blood splatter across your face.

When you open them you see the body of one of the men laid out right in front of you, a small hole in his forehead gushing out blood as his blank eyes stare at you. You scream, and the other man grabs your coat, yanking you in front of him before pressing a gun to your temple.

“Who the fuck is there?! I’ll shoot her right now!” He looks around anxiously.

The alleyway is completely dark, you can’t see anyone, but the man backs away thinking that the shot came from the right side.

He stumbles over his friend's body, releasing his tight grip on you in the process. You take it as your chance to run away. He tries to run after you, “Hey you bitch!, get back-“

Before he can finish, another shot goes off. The man lets out a blood curdling scream and drops to the ground. You quickly turn around, panting as you see his shadow finally come to light.

Jaehyun.

Your dark-haired savior walks slowly towards the crying man with a sniper gun in his hand. He lugs it around like it's nothing, but based on the length, noise, and precise shots, you know it’s heavy. You swallow hard as you watch his menacingly large figure create an engulfing shadow over the man.

As he walks under a street light that the man has dragged himself to, you see a completely unfamiliar look on Jaehyun’s face. He’s angry, no.. he’s outraged, and the dark glare in his eyes makes your heart race. Is it because he’s hot, or is it because he’s terrifying? You’re not sure.

Nonetheless, he doesn’t give the man a chance to beg. He cocks his gun and shoots his other kneecap. The man places both hands over it and cries out while laying on his back.

“No!! Please don’t! I’m sorry, we weren’t gonna hurt her!” The man cries out when he sees the grim face of Jaehyun looking down on him as he crawls away.

Jaehyun cocks his sniper gun again.

You finally snap out of your daze and run towards him. “No stop! Don't do this!” You yell out.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond to neither you nor him, he only aims for the crying man’s crotch area. He shoots him again and cocks his gun. The man struggles to back away from him as he aims it at his head. 

Jaehyun is so furious, not a word escapes him, he only feels rage and sees red. 

But just as he’s about to pull the trigger again, you jump onto the ground in between the gun and the man.

“Jaehyun! Stop! Please, he’s learned his lesson.” You pant, your arms till aching as they are tied behind your back.

“Move.” Jaehyun’s tone is dark, you don’t even recognize him.

You swallow hard, hoping you can get through to him. “Jaehyun..it’s not worth it, the police are gonna be here any second now, just leave.”

“I said move. I’m gonna blow his head off.”

“No! I won’t allow you to! This ends now.”

Jaehyun’s voice raises. “They put their hands on you! They were going to hurt you! They deserve nothing but pain!” 

“Yes! I agree, but you’ve done enough! Get out of here!”

Suddenly, police sirens start to get louder, it's as if someone called them after hearing the shots.

“Jaehyun..help me, please.” You look up with wide eyes, and finally, Jaehyun snaps out of it.

He finally puts his gun by his side and leans down to help you up. 

He looks back at the man and kicks his head hard, leaving him crotchless and bleeding out on the dirty ground alone.

The two of you run back to Jaehyun’s car.

 He helps you into the passenger seat before jumping in and speeding away.

“Jaehyun, what the hell! You–you just killed someone.” You cry as he drives maniacally to your place.

“Are you okay?” He ignores your panic.

“Okay? Okay?! No I’m not fucking okay, Jaehyun, I just witnessed a murder! There’s- there’s blood all over me!” 

Once at a stop light, he takes his pocket knife out and cuts your zip ties. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks as he examines your soft face and body.

You sigh and look into his worried eyes. Damn it, why did he have to look at you like you’re his world? “I’m..listen I’m fine, but what you did was not okay, you just killed-“

“It’s what I do y/n.” He says lowly, calmly, but with a scary tone. The light turns green and he continues driving. The street lights illuminate his sharp features and you feel your heart drop. The man you had a deep longing for lived to kill, and killed to live, that’s the reality of it. He had no regrets whatsoever after taking a human life.

This was normal for him.

His fist tightens around the steering wheel. Your eyes catch a glimpse of the thick veins in his arms. “If something happened to you..I couldn’t live with myself..I’m sorry you had to see that, but it was necessary.”

He looks at you then quickly looks away, hiding how his eyes started to fill with water. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You’re just trying to get home after a long day of work. What if he wasn’t there to save you? What if he lost you? And he realizes once again why you two could never date. You’re nowhere near ready to see him for who he truly is.

You take a deep breath and relax into your seat, resting your elbow on the door. Your fingers shakily press against your temple as you look out of the window . “Jaehyun..you can’t protect me from the world..you can’t just hover around and follow me everywhere.”

“Why the hell not?” His nose scrunches.

You flick your head towards him. “Because you’re not my boyfriend! You yourself said you regretted ever meeting me, you never wanted to see me again, and yet, here you are swooping in like fucking Batman!”

Jaehyun clenches his jaw and abruptly parks his car outside of your apartment building. 

“I mean nothing to you..you should start acting like I don’t.” You look down at the floor and say sternly.

He sighs. “Y/n..I—didn’t..” he stumbles over his words as you sit there in silence.

You look back up at him, and he wants to hug you, he wants to hold you and get lost in your beautiful eyes. He takes a moment to breathe in your scent, still fresh and pretty after a long day at work. 

“What?” You watch him as he stares.

He sighs and looks out of the window. “You can get out now.”

You purse your lips and nod, tears threatening to escape. “...the next time I see you outside of my job, I’m going to call the police.” All this time, you knew he was watching. 

Jaehyun turns back to you with a puzzled expression. Night after night, you’d seen his black sports car parked a few feet away from the bakery. You knew he was there, and you never approached him about it. 

You look into his eyes before opening the door and stepping out. Jaehyun doesn’t protest as you slam the door and head inside.

Once he sees your apartment light turn on, he drives away, angry at himself once again. What if someone saw him with you? What if they knew he had a weakness and knew where that said weakness lived?

He lays in his bed after taking a hot shower and falls asleep quickly. 

“Jaehyun..”

“Hnnn..” His eyes struggle to open.

“Jaehyun..baby.”

“Yes…hmmm.”

“Need you..” 

Jaehyun hears your soft voice and feels your warmth. He opens his heavy eyes to see that he’s back in his car. This time he’s in the backseat with you beside him. 

“Y/n..” He rubs his thumb over your cheek to check if you’re really there. You lean in and look into his eyes before kissing him deeply while closing your eyes. 

 Jaehyun turns his head and groans into your mouth as his tongue traces over your smooth lips. Cherry. The same cherry balm he tasted when kissed your lips the first time. 

The hunger in his chest grows, he grabs you by the waist and brings onto his lap, your arms still tied behind you as you moan. He handles you like it’s nothing, pushing your skirt up your hips and to your waist before pulling you down harder onto him. 

He releases your lips finally, a string of spit dropping down your chin as you whimper. He pulls his pocket knife out and quickly cuts the fabric of your underwear, a move that has your skin riddled with goosebumps in no time.

He looks at the knife, thinking about how he should also cut your zip ties, but also thinking of how he doesn’t really want to. Something about you being bound, restricted, and doomed to ride him until you swelled with his offspring made everything hotter to him.

He looks up at you while brushing his fingers over your opening. It's silky with your essence, already building just from your kiss. You throw your head back and start to grind onto them as he teases you. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, gazing up at your angelic face. He swears he’s already in heaven.

His fingers finally enter you, a high-pitched moan escaping you once you feel them stretching you out. 

“I-I’m ready!” You move faster, finding it hard to hold back as you’re so wound up already.

He pulls his fingers out and wraps his arm around you to guide you down onto him. “Good girl…almost there.” He whispers while watching you take him in.

The sight is so satisfying, he doesn’t know if he’ll last all night. You gasp once his tip kisses your sweet spot, but you continue to move up and down like you did with his fingers.

You move easily, your essence and his pre cum being all the lubricant you need to fit him inside repeatedly. He groans, rubbing his large hands along your thighs.

“So—good, I can’t” You struggle to move steadily with your arms tied behind you, you’re close, but getting weaker. You close your eyes as tears escape.

He tilts your chin, forcing you to open your eyes and look down at him. “Don’t slow down, baby, you want me to fill you up right? Well, keep going.” He chokes you slightly as you whimper. 

“Yes..please cum with me..” 

He could see your breasts bouncing under your button down dress shirt from work, he could see them pop open one by one as you bounced faster. And your pussy, so warm, so tight around him. He can feel his tip twitch as you clench around him, threatening to coat your walls at any moment now.

“Oh my.. GodI!” Your head falls back. Sweat runs down into the crevice of your breasts. He grabs your waist with both hands, taking over to slam you down onto him at a faster pace. He thrusts into you aggressively, chasing after a high that he knows he’ll remember well after tonight.

If you thought you could drop him after this, you’d be so wrong. He’d never been happier, never been hungrier, never been more anxious to fuck someone into oblivion like this. He could keep going if you let him. He’d have to recover quickly just so he can do it all over again in minutes, it would be difficult, but it’s not impossible.. He had to do it for you.

“Cum for me, baby, I know you want to....yes good girl, so tight for me.” He pants, his voice is gravelly.

“Jaehyun!” You cried out one final time before his eyes flew open. 

No. 

Jaehyun looks up at his ceiling and feels his bed under him. It’s wet with his sweat.

His chest is heaving and his dick is painfully hard, sticking straight into the sheet above him. “Shit. It felt so real.” 

He closes his eyes and rounds his fist around his dick to relieve himself, still imagining you clenching around him so beautifully while in his car.

He groans and wipes his forehead once he’s done. “This is gonna be hard.” He knows he should respect your wishes to not see him again, but deep down he knows he will have to. He knows he’s in too deep, and letting go is impossible at this point.

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun tries to let you go, he doesn’t watch you anymore..well, not every night at least.

He told himself he was getting better, and if “getting better” included installing a tracking device on your cell phone to follow you instead of watching you outside work, then yes, yes he was “getting better.”

A guy in his gang that acted as a hacker sent a virus to your phone through a text message pretending to be a K-pop album sale link. And just as he expected, you got too excited and clicked it without thinking. By the time you realized it was a scam, it was too late. He was in. You shrugged your shoulders and went about your day like nothing happened.

He didn’t track you every day but just knowing that he could when he wanted to was enough for him.

He had just welcomed a shipment with his guys, when he decided to take a break and check on you. His brows furrow when he notices you’ve stopped by a particular place between home and work once again. What could this place be? A new friend? Or.. a new man? No, you wouldn’t do that to him..or would you?

He jumps into his car and tells his guys to finish everything up before speeding away.

When he gets to his apartment, he looks the address up and finds that it’s an apartment building that belongs to a wealthy banker.

He bites his lip as he contemplates what on Earth you could want with a banker.

He relaxes into his computer chair and shrugs it off. He shouldn’t be intruding like this, it isn’t right. He’ll let you handle whatever it is you’re doing. It must be important and necessary. So he doesn’t let it bother him…that is until one day when you have a date with the man.

He watched you go out with the banker that aged you by at least 15 years. You wore a gorgeous red silk dress and did your hair up. Your skin looked immaculate and your smile shone brightly in the dim lighting of the restaurant. He watched from outside, holding himself back from marching in there and crashing the date. If Mr. Bank thought he was gonna get lucky tonight, he was very wrong.

You smile and laugh with him so much, Jaehyun can’t take it any more. He drives away.

A few hours later, you enter your apartment and kick your heels off. You shimmy your coat off before walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water. 

“Where were you?” A deep voice asks from the shadows of your kitchen.

You jump up and walk backwards. “WHO-“

Jaehyun steps out with arms crossed and knitted brows. His hair is styled back to reveal his forehead, and grey shadow rests under both eyes like he hasn’t slept in days.

He still looks handsome though, his black T-shirt clinging onto his toned biceps.

“Jesus Christ!! Jaehyun WHAT THE HELL?” You quickly turn the light switch on then turn to your handbag, fumbling around for your pepper spray.

“It’s 3 fucking A.M. and you’re just now getting home.” He tilts his head, confused as to why you act like he’s intruding.

Your mouth falls open, the audacity of this man.

“Are you crazy? That’s it, I’m calling the police.” You reach for your cell phone in your bag, but as you search for it, Jaehyun walks up to you and grabs your wrist.

He quickly places your hand behind your back and backs you into the wall.

Your eyes widen as he towers over you. 

“Answer the question first.” He grumbles, looking down on you like you’re some kind of criminal that’s been caught stealing.

You shake your head and gasp. “I don’t have to answer to you! I’m a grown woman!”

Jaehyun smirks as his eyes trace downward, floating from your lips to your neck and finally to your pronounced cleavage.

“This is a really nice dress, y/n, did he like it?” His eyes are filled with fire and jealousy. He looks almost disgusted as he thinks about you giving your body to someone else.

Your eyebrows raise. “You’re still following me? You’re insane!” You struggle to pull your hand away, but you pound against his chest with your other hand. He quickly grabs it by the wrist and places it above your head, like it’s nothing. His neck cranes down to get closer to your face.

“Let me go!” you yell. 

He shakes his head. “Not until you answer me.”

“Somebody help me!”

He can’t help but chuckle. “Even if someone comes, do you really think they can help you? Do you want to watch another person die, y/n?”

You swallow hard, and even though he is frightening at this moment, you feel hot and lustful with the amount of power he has over you.

“What’s your problem? First, you say you regret meeting me, and now, you’re following me every day! I can't keep doing this! So what if I moved on? Yeah I fucked another man, now what? You gonna kill me?”

Jaehyun flips you around so he’s pressed against your back and you’re pressed in with both hands held by him.

You grunt as your cheek hits the wall.

Jaehyun leans into your ear and whispers. “Mr. Bank loves that cheap cologne on his dresser. I see him use it every day. But it’s funny because I don’t smell it on you. And that’s how I know you’re lying.”

Chills run up your spine.

“W-we took a shower together, did you forget that I like doing it that way?” You smirk. Jaehyun’s grip tightens as he becomes even more infuriated.

You were lying, but you liked to see him get riled up, maybe just maybe, he’d leave you alone so you could forget about him, so you didn’t have to touch yourself to the thought of him, so you didn’t have to look at the empty chair in your bakery in hopes of seeing him there one night.

“You’re intent on pushing my buttons..even with you pressed up against the wall..even with your hands behind your back. Aren’t you afraid of how bad it’ll get for you?” 

You chuckle. “Are you threatening me because I just had the best sex of my life?”

Jaehyun picks you up off of the wall and lays you down onto the counter face first with a hard push.

“The best huh?” He flips the bottom of your dress up to expose your ass in your thong. He then taps two fingers against your clothed folds, you jump slightly at the unexpected contact. “And yet..your panties are still intact and you’re walking just fine.” 

He continues to rub his fingers against you, pressing them in just barely. You whimper quietly. “Your skin is cold. Your thighs are dry and you’re reacting to my simple touch. You smell like you did the first time like grapefruit and berries..seems to me you’re just as untouched as the Virgin Mary.” 

Jaehyun whispers so deeply, you can’t help but grow wet. Damn it, he really knew you like the back of his hand.

“And if it was the best, why were you able to go back to your place? Why didn’t you just sleep there in hopes for round two?” He still drags his fingers in and out, teasing his digits along your opening by pushing them in slowly.

“Unlike you, he begged me to stay tonight but I told him “no, I have to be at work in the morning.” You let out, you try to have a sturdy voice as you slowly unreel from his long fingers.

“Please, y/n, the more you lie, the longer this will take. You’re not the whore you claim to be..” he whispers against the back of your neck, giving you chills once more, but you shake them off and speak strongly.

“You don’t know me! I did unimaginable things with him tonight!” You wiggle to try to escape him, but the strong 6-foot something man doesn’t budge.

“Oh is that so? Show me.” He leans back and presses your wrists down with one hand while unbuckling his belt with the other. He then ties your hands behind your back with it and steps back. He sits at your dining table and waits for you to walk over.

“I’d need my hands, Jaehyun.” You roll your eyes.

“Come on y/n, see how much you can do without them..” he taps his thigh.

You sigh and walk over to him. Why did he have this control over you? What if he just ends up leaving again?

“I shouldn’t do anything for you, you’re cruel.” 

Jaehyun’s low eyes trace over your body in the red silk dress as you walk over to him. “But are you doing anything for me, per se? No baby, you’re gonna use me to satisfy yourself after a disappointing date.”

His hands can’t help but find your waist. He forces you down onto his thigh but doesn’t do anything other than look into your wide eyes.

You look onto his neck and broad shoulders, you smell his simple and fresh cologne. You wish you could run your hands through his full head of hair and intertwine your fingers on it as you go dizzy.

He lets your waist go. “Or...you can just sit here and tell me you hate me. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, you know that.”

Your mouth falls open as you look at his lips.

“Go on..I’m listening.” He leans back and tilts his head slightly, looking down onto you with those low bedroom eyes. His gaze makes you tremble.

You’re so turned on from his touch, you continue moving against his thigh. He’d gotten you this far, why not finish it?

“I hate you because you won’t leave me alone. You send mixed signals. One day you want me, the next day you say it’s unrealistic to be with me. Make up your damn mind.” The friction of his thigh against your opening makes you light headed, but you push on.

“Before we do this again..I need to know what the hell you want from me, do you want me in your life or not?!”

“Y/n..of course I want you in my life...it’s just not safe for you..”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ll be fine.”

He shakes his head. “I answered your question, you should answer mine..why are you home so late? What business do you have with that man?” He clenches his thigh and the sudden action makes you moan and shut your eyes tightly, you move faster.

“Jaehyun...it’s none of your business.”

He knew you were trying to get close to the bank manager so you could get another loan for your business, you needed to make improvements in the kitchen, decorations, flooring etc. and the money you made wasn’t cutting it. You figured that if you could find the right man to seduce, maybe you could get what you needed quickly.

Jaehyun knew this because he had seen the Google searches on your phone that went from “how to get a loan.” to “how to best seduce a man.” Hence, the red silk dress you wore, the glam hair, the intoxicating perfume that was quickly seducing even him as well, the high heels you wore to bring out your curves, and of course, the bra that made your cleavage noticeable to even the stars above.

“..let me protect you..and I’ll give you everything you need.” He kisses your neck and whispers into your ear while bringing one of your straps down your arm. He starts to kiss your shoulder.

You move faster on his thigh, swiveling your hips as his grip becomes tighter. “..that’s easier said than done..I want...I need to be completely yours, I don’t need a bodyguard.” You whimper and moan as he sucks your neck. Sweat builds onto your forehead.

“I don’t need your protection, I need your love.” You say breathily before finally releasing on his thigh. You rest your head on his shoulder, trembling while feeling your legs weaken.

He looks into your wet eyes and caresses your cheek while zipping down your dress with his other hand.

He then yanks your dress down to reveal your hard nubs. His hands cup your breasts, massaging them before tracing his thumbs over the peaks. “So beautiful, and only for me.”

He sucks them one by one, caressing them with one hand as the other grips your thigh, hard, so hard you know you’ll be sore for days. You groan in pain from his fingertips pressing in deep, and if your hands weren’t tied behind your back, you would’ve pushed him away.

He doesn’t let up, guiding your body forward and backward so you continue to leak all over his sweatpants. “Jaehyun!” You cry out in sensitivity, you cum again easily but he doesn’t stop. He won’t let you go, he continues to flick his tongue against your breasts. Your back arches, your clit is stimulated once more by his thigh, but it isn’t enough. 

He lifts you up easily and lays you down onto the table. He wants to make use of his time with you while you are bound, so he slowly drags your thong down your legs before throwing it to the side.

“Stay still..” he commands as your legs wiggle in an effort to get away from him. You whimper as he presses his fingers and thumbs into your thighs to spread you further apart.

He licks and sucks your clit as his fingers dive in deep. Your entrance, already sopping but welcoming him nonetheless. Your back arches again. “Jaehyun!” You cry out as you watch him devour you. His dark eyes lock with yours as he groans.

The tip of his tongue traces over your sweet spot as you throw your head back. You cum again, struggling to break out of his belt and grab his hair. He doesn’t stop, licking up everything that escapes as tears escape your eyes.

“Please.. I can’t- slower.” You plead, but he doesn’t care. He wraps his arms around your legs to keep them open and fixed around his head.

“Mmmm you taste so good, baby, and you’re all mine.” He chuckles then flattens his tongue against you.

He wants to make up for all the time he’d lost with you, he wants to consume you forever, to taste what he’s been craving all his life. He eats you out until you’re begging him to stop. Your wrists are tired of fighting against his belt, you try to kick his shoulders away again, but he simply smirks and grips your ankles tightly. 

“Don’t disobey me like that again, sweetheart.” His eyes dark and threatening as he looks up through his lashes.

You can’t stop moaning as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your back arches, threatening to snap completely.

He finally finishes when he’s had enough. He stands up from the chair, flipping your body over and lifting one of your legs over the table. He pushes the waistband of his pants down, releasing his hard member and grabs your waist. He runs his cock against your slit, parting it slightly with the head to gather your slick. 

“Gonna be a good girl for me right? Gonna follow my orders and cum when I tell you to?” He asks lowly.

“Yes! Yes..Jaehyun..I need-“

He pulls you into him, your ass shakes as you moan. The angle created by one leg lifted drives you crazy as he pushes himself deeper and deeper. You can’t stop yourself from clenching.

“Fuck..so good..cum with me, don’t let anything escape..I wanna see you hold it in for me..”

He buries himself in deep with each stroke, allowing you to feel every judge and vein as he runs his dick against your velvety walls. The table shakes with each thrust, he groans when he feels you clenching again. He moves faster, pressing his hand into the small of your back to keep you still. 

“Yes, don’t..stop!” You release onto him and chant his name as he moves in and out slowly.

“That’s it..such a good girl for me..” he rubs your clit to coax another orgasm out of you despite you being sensitive. 

You can feel his abs on your back, you can’t take anymore. You open your hands and try to push him away. He pushes in deep to make you squirm. “Give me one more, okay..you’re my slut tonight, gonna do whatever I say, right?”

“Jaehyun!” Your hands fail to apply any pressure.

He chuckles. “Are you disobeying me? Tsk tsk..you act like you can’t take it, yet you’re gripping me like it’s yours..”

He rubs his fingers in circles with more force and you can feel your essence dripping down your legs continuously now.

He thrusts faster and harder, the entire table moves as he pounds you like there’s no tomorrow. “Cum with me..cum with me right now..I’m gonna fill you up so you don’t forget who owns this pussy. so full..so warm, you’ll never give it to anyone else, that’s a fucking order, understand?..”

You can’t think clearly, you become dizzy. 

Jaehyun grabs your waist tightly to slam your ass against his pelvis and reaches his other hand around your throat to choke you. “Y/n! Do you understand?!” 

You struggle to breathe,  but nod and cum again. ”y-yes! Yes, oh my god!”

A loud groan leaves him while his movement stutters. He collapses on top of you as he empties himself finally.

After a few minutes, he sits back into the chair, turns you around and brings your limp body onto his lap as you pant. He holds you close by wrapping you in his arms, tracing his fingers delicately against your spine. 

“Jaehyun..just let me love you..please.” You rest your head onto his shoulder.

He does love you, everything about you makes him ache, you make him soft and remind him that he has a heart. He’d let his mind wander too many times, he let himself think of a world where the two of you could live together, have a few pets, get married, have kids..all sorts of “regular” things.

But love? Jaehyun is left speechless, he doesn’t know what to say, but he also doesn’t want to break your heart again. He was beyond worried for you. He unbuckles his belt from your wrists and helps you up.

He stands the both of you up then sits you back down. He looks down at you as you wait for his answer with pleading, wet eyes.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He fixes his pants.

You stand up on wobbly legs, take his head into your hands and kiss him hard. “You don’t have to be sorry, just give us a chance.” You say once you break the kiss.

He kisses you back before pulling away “I can’t.” 

Your mouth falls open in shock. “What exactly am I to you? Just a quick fuck and nothing else? Just tell me!” You turn away from him.

He feels his heart break again. “No! No..you’re much more than that..it’s-“

You turn back to him. “What? What the hell is it, Jaehyun?”

“I-I don’t know, I have to go.” He can’t look into your eyes anymore.

“No..don’t.” You grab his hand and tug him back. “Not again.”

“Y/n..I’m ....” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, keeping you from seeing the tears in his eyes. Why was he getting emotional?

The truth was Jaehyun had heard those exact words before. 

“no..don’t” 

It was the last thing his mom said to him. He was 16 and hell bent on doing his own thing. He ran away from home and decided to live a life of crime. He was stupid and broke her heart in the process, leaving her to die at home alone a few months later. At 12 years old, he had made a promise to protect and care for her when his father abandoned the two of them to take care of his other family.

Jaehyun needed to make more money and by the time he was 16, his friend offered an opportunity to make more money than he could ever imagine. It’s what he needed to do for himself and his mom, or at least that’s what he thought at the time. He didn’t know that all his mom wanted was for him to be safe and to grow up as a hardworking man she could be proud of. He disappointed her..and he feared he’d disappoint you too one day.

You sigh and let him go. “I don’t hate you Jaehyun, I just don’t understand you..”

He turns away from you to not show weakness once again. “I wish I understood myself, I wish I didn’t hurt you.” He leaves, slamming the door shut as you sink down into the chair.

[cleolinda]

As mentioned (I think?), new spinal/pain care doctor is switching me from a steroid to not a steroid so I can have a big steroid in two weeks for a pain block. This is my first day making the switch and I am dizzy and loopy and not allowed to post on the internet until I’m more lucid. (Oops.) My queue is a mess, don’t know what’s on it. Might wake up and reblog a ton, might sleep all day, nobody knows.

Remember that wreck my mom was in two months ago, because another driver was rubbernecking a DIFFERENT wreck? For a minute she was afraid her arm had a hairline fracture as pain emerged over time, but x-rays have said she’s good. That said, yesterday the repair shop has finally pronounced her car totaled, insurance is about to stop covering a rental, and so she’s got to run out today and use what insurance is giving her for the old car to finance a “new” (used) car and my point is, I’m just sacked out with my dog hoping that I’m not having a reaction to this Very Different Non-Steroidal Medication. idk, telling people “I��m concerned about this” tends to cosmically inoculate me against it happening. Here we are.

Side note: Hello, new followers! It’s just chaos like this all the time honestly! In 2022, a shit ton of workers descended upon my street one day and dug up all our yards and broke the street’s water main and cut down somebody’s tree without even asking (they brought a crane) and flooded my basement with sewage and we had to gut all of it. Turns out it was a rogue internet provider that was cramming their fiber optic lines into the public easement part of everyone’s yards. Our city works rep told them “uh no you’re paying for the damage,” so within about a year, we were through repairs okay (Internet Provider fucked up the sewage pipes so bad that we had to get an entire new driveway by the time the plumbers were done digging under it). That is kind of the pattern: we get through crises okay, but it sure is a roller coaster to get there!!!, she said with wild-eyed laughter.

But then. Yesterday, my mom came home to discover our front yard marked up with spray paint and tiny flags. They had the logo of a rival provider. It Is Happening Again. So I’m just like. Please do not let me have a reaction to meloxicam while I’m home alone. I don’t need this right now. I don’t need this ever, I didn’t need a second herniated disc at all, but I don’t need this right now.

[vanishingcherry]

GOT A SENSE I'D BEEN BETRAYED

pairings: lando norris x reader

warnings: swearing, mclaren being shitty, lando being shitty for agreeing with mclarens plans, break ups, general angst

authors note: based on this request hii! thanks for requesting! the start is just a bit of a backstory, so its not that great. prompt 9 is "'you promised' 'i know'", prompt 10 is "none of it was real... was it?" and prompt 11 is "don't touch me". check out my prompt list

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

When introduced to the world of F1, you immediately became a fan.

After a couple years of watching the sport on TV, you managed to get tickets to a Grand Prix not too far from your city. You were overjoyed as you walked through the entrance on Friday, having managed to snag tickets for all three days of the race weekend as well as a paddock pass for free practice.

Decked out in all the merch you owned, you were a sight to see. Lucky for you, the clashing shades of red, orange, black, green and blue were an all too common sight at a race, allowing you to comfortably blend in wherever you were.

Your day at the paddock was amazing, to say the least. Watching pitstop practices, meeting other fans and even taking pictures of and with a few of the drivers. It was, arguably, one of the best days of your life.

You were just about to leave the paddock when a McLaren employee walked towards you, blocking your path.

"Hello! I'm Julie, what's your name?"

After replying with slight confusion, she explained why she was talking to you.

"Lando saw you earlier in the day when you were outside his garage and wanted to talk to you! I'm glad I caught you, he wanted me to give you these paddock passes for tomorrow on behalf of McLaren."

She went on about everything the passes included, but you were still stuck on the fact that Lando was the one who had invited you.

"Wait- I uh- Lando? As in Norris? The driver?"

"Yeah." she laughed at your reaction. "Just come and show these passes to anyone at the McLaren hospitality tomorrow and they'll tell you where to go."

When you showed up the following day, weirdly enough, they directed you straight to Lando. You got to talking, and before you knew it you had spent hours with him. The two of you were interrupted a while before qualifying was meant to begin, and shockingly, he asked to take you on a date the next week.

You were slightly skeptical, it seemed like something straight out of a movie and you knew that going on a date with Lando could have repercussions on your entire life. Nonetheless, even you knew that turning down this invitation would be stupid. Even if it didn't lead to anything, it would be an experience for sure.

To your surprise, it was one of the best dates you had ever been on. A year later, the two of you were still together. Despite the unordinary circumstances that had brought you together, you were glad to have caught his eye that day.

Since then, you had accompanied him to many races, and today was no different. Heading towards his driver room, you lift your hand to knock, before stopping centimeters from the door. Someone else was in the room, you could hear hushed voices. You turn around, taking a few steps away, giving them their privacy.

"Y/N deserves to know!"

It was the voice of one of his friends, and the sound of your name had caught your attention.

"I can't tell her right now, okay? I- I'll tell her soon." That was Lando. You frowned at his statement, now wondering what he was keeping from you.

"Lando the longer you keep this from her, the worse it's going to get. In fact, you're probably lucky if she finds out now and doesn't leave."

"Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I'm not telling her?" Lando's sudden outburst was too much. He was hiding something that potentially changed the entire course of your relationship, you deserved to know what.

You slowly open the door, walking in just in time to hear what Lando's friend says.

"If you're not going to tell her, I am. She deserves to know that this started as a publicity stunt, even if that may have changed now."

"What?" you say in disbelief. Even though you barely heard the word yourself, both Lando and his friend turned to you at the sound. It would have been comical, how fast their eyes widened and expressions changed. But in the moment, all you could focus on was the fact that Lando didn't deny it.

Started as a publicity stunt.

Why do you think I'm not telling her!

You're probably lucky if she finds out now and doesn't leave.

Lando's friend murmurs an excuse, brushing shoulders with you as he walks out and softly closes the door behind him. Leaving you and Lando alone. If it was any other day, you would have been overjoyed to be alone with Lando, with his schedules and races you were rarely left alone. But right now, all you wanted to do was leave. Still, you ask.

"None of it was real... was it?"

Lando didn't answer. At a loss for words, his mouth opened and closed. He was wracking his brain, trying to think of something to say that would make you believe him, trust him. He had fucked up, he knew it. He just had to figure out how to fix it, make things right so that you wouldn't leave him.

You didn't notice the look of anguish on his face, instead you continued speaking, trying to make sense of the situation.

"You just thought that it would be okay to lead me on. That when I found out I was just for publicity, I would be okay with it. Or actually, you probably weren't going to tell me at all, based on your conversation" you all but shouted, referring to what you had overheard.

"I can't believe you!" The room, although large, seemed to be closing in on you. You felt like you were suffocating. "Say something Lando."

He stayed silent.

"God!" you turned around, resting your forehead in your hands, going through every moment of your relationship. The bright and happy memories were now darkened with the knowledge of Lando's initial intentions.

Waking up from whatever trance he had been placed in at the sight of you, Lando silently walks over. He carefully wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I wanted to tell you I swear, I just chickened out every time. I love you, okay? I love you so much and I swear I'm not lying." He starts off, trying to explain before you cut him off.

"You promised." you whisper.

"I know." he mutters, knowing exactly what you meant.

"You promised, Lando. You promised you would never hurt me." Your voice cracked as you shrugged off his arms. He takes a few steps back and instead picks up your hands and plants a small kiss to your knuckles.

"I know, I'm so, so sorry. Darling, please just-"

"Don't touch me!"

He flinches at your tone, moving his hands from your own and taking a step back. Taking a couple deep breathes, he tries again.

"My love, I am so sorry." He bends down slightly, trying to make eye contact. "It started as a publicity stunt, yes, but I fell in love- I am in love with you."

He pauses for a moment, but remains undeterred when you don't respond. "I swear, all of it was real. My feelings are real, I never lied about those."

"Yeah, just lied about everything else" you scoff.

He almost reaches out to you before remembering that you didn't want to be touched by him. He flexes his hand before balling it into a fist near his thighs.

"I'm so sorry. Please just let me explain and I swear I'll fix this, okay? I- i'll figure something out and I'll fix this and we're going to be okay." At this point, he was convincing himself more than he was you.

Before he could say anything else, there was a knock on his door, signalling that he had to get in the car.

"Lando, its time."

"I know, I- just give me a minute" he begs.

"Lando we have to go right now, the race starts in 10 minutes". His engineer is adamant, slamming the door behind him, leaving no room for argument.

"Fuck!" he turns to you. "Darling, just stay here, yeah? Just for a while. I- we can talk after the race, I'm so sorry, just please stay here."

He waits for you to nod, eyes frantically scanning every inch of your face for a sign that you would stay. When you don't provide one, he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Please. Please, I am begging you just don't lea-"

"Lando! Now." A voice calls through the door.

"Coming." He shouts back. Turning to you again he speaks, walking backwards out the door as he picks up his baclava and helmet. "Please, just stay. I'm so sorry, we'll talk right after the race I promise. I love you."

With that, he leaves you alone in his driver room. You take a deep breath before sitting on the chair. You couldn't find it in you to stay, and so the moment the race started, you were up and finding a taxi back to the hotel.

Lando couldn't focus. From the moment he sat in the car till the moment he got out, all he could think about was you and the pained look on your face when you found out.

He regretted everything. The fact that he had kept this a secret for so long, and the fact that he didn't let you find out this way. But most of all, he regretted the day he agreed to the publicity stunt.

No one was supposed to find out about it. It was simple. He would date you for a couple months, and then make an excuse to break up. You wouldn't find out, the media wouldn't find out and he would have the publicity the team wanted. It would serve as the perfect distraction too, any poor performances would be overshadowed by the news of his new girlfriend. The team thought it was great, it would mean more fans interested in him because it wasn't everyday a driver dated someone that wasn't a model or famous.

Till he fell in love with you. He fell hard too, it wasn't slow and gradual but all at once. He was just sitting at his apartment, watching you read a book on the sofa when the realisation crashed down on him. That he would give up anything for you, that you were it for him. You were the only one he wanted to spend time with, only one he wanted to see when he came home after a race.

Lando knew that he should have stopped it then, broken up or at least told you. But he was selfish, he wanted to stay in the bliss you had created together. And so what was supposed to be a few months turned into 6 and then a year.

The race was shit for Lando. He had half a mind to crash on purpose, just because it would mean getting back to you faster. Nonetheless, he stayed on track, praying that there would be no red flags to delay the end. He had qualified well, at P8, but slipped back to P15 by the time the checkered flag came out.

The second he entered the garage, he walked straight to his drivers room, completely ignoring all the mechanics and engineers trying to console him after the bad result.

Opening the door in a hurry, he swears at the sight of no one in the room. "Fuck fuck fuck!"

He spins around a couple times, making sure you weren't there before opening his phone and walking out of the room in a hurry. At the back of his mind, Lando knew that there were a million things he had to do before leaving, but he forgot about all of them, running to the spot where his car was parked.

He tries calling you, repeatedly pressing on your contact as he speeds past the red light. He'd pay all the fines they wanted, getting to you was more important. He sighs when you don't pick up, face scrunching as he tries to keep the tears back.

Reaching the hotel, he hands the car to the valet, running through the lobby, just managing to slide into a closing elevator. Once at the right floor, he unlocks your hotel room.

He is close to crying when he realises that this room too is empty. You had taken your belongings, and all that was left was Lando's half-open suitcase in the corner.

But what really got him crumbling down is the note you'd written and left on his pillow. He read it over and over, making sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

I'm sorry, I just can't. Don't message me. Please.

[chaostudee]

the secret of us , chapter four.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

a couple of hours later you are at home getting ready with your friends to go out but you cant help it when your eyes briefly scan the piece of paper that lewis gave you.

your cheeks burn as you remember the interaction but you know better that nothing can become of it yet you slip the piece of paper into your purse along with your lip gloss and keys.

once you arrived at the club you followed your friends to the bar where you all bought a round of shots. a couple of hours later you find yourself on the dance floor swaying from side to side with a beer in your hand to the music.

although the main purpose of tonight was to forget him you couldn't help but think about the way his eyes latched onto yours or when your hands brushed when he slipped you his number.

you stop dancing and gulp thinking about it. you look around in the mob of people only to find your friends no where to be found. your first instinct was to find your purse of course which luckily you had but you were distraught to find that your phone was gone.

you put a hand over your mouth in worry and groan as you have a horrible headache from all the alcohol and truthfully it is even hard to stand without feeling dizzy. you sigh as you go to walk outside to go catch some air.

the streets were near quiet and you longed to know what time it was. you bite your lip before taking one last look in your purse only to find the one thing you were trying to avoid. lewis's number. you chuckle realising that you rly have no option since you honestly have no clue of any of your friends numbers and no money for a taxi.

a man nearby is txting on his phone so you go and give it a shot.

"um sry is it okay if i use your phone for one second"

the guy looks up and looks at you weirdly but once noticing that you were desperate he sighs and hands you the phone.

"thank you so much i wont be long"

the man grunts in response. you walk a few metres away and start typing in his number. just as you are about to dial you question why are u doing this? surely there is someone else? but you know right well that there isn't.

you dial and the line starts ringing.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

lewis is sat in a bar with most of the grid sat beside george as he laughs at another joke he made. lewis looks at the clock seeing that it is nearly 2am and sighs.

as he looks around at the decor he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket which is obviously unsual at this hour. he pulls out his phone and sees that it is an unknown caller, his first unstinct is to block but there is only few people who had his number and now you being on of them. he smiles softly to himself realising it could be you.

"hey you okay man?" george asks

"um ye um i got to take this real quick" he says trying to hide his smile.

george nods but narrows his eyes as he notices lewis happy demeanour which was not often seen only on the rare chance he was with someone. george smiles to himself.

lewis walks outside and answers.

"hi"

"oh um hi lewis its me um yn"

"you just couldnt last that long without hearing my voice again"

you blush and chuckle "um well.....no not exactly um...i"

lewis notices your shaky speech. "hey um you okay? he didn't hurt you again did he??"

you let out a sarcastic laugh. "um you know what no im actually not okay you see um this is not even my phone, i lost it, my friends ditched me here at this club, and i had a few too many beers and i feel like shit and now im calling this cute guy that gave me his number because i literally have no one else"

"shit im sry but if you need a lift i can get my driver to pick you up if u want"

"are u sure i dont want to be a burden" you ask running a hand through your hair.

"you're not a burden don't worry and now i can get an excuse to leave this horrible bar"

you groan. "oh god im so sry i totally forgot that george told me he was going out tonight"

at the mention of george you both go quiet.

"please don't mention this to george he would actually kill me if he knew"

lewis nods and looks in the window at his teamate filled with guilt. he looks away. "okay".

"can you send me your location?" lewis breaks the silence with his question. you do as he requests.

"okay ill be there in 20"

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

the cold brisk air nipped at your feet and you couldn't help but shiver in instinct. your eyes scanned the main road waiting for lewis.

momentarily a black limo pulled up and not to your surprise lewis jumped out and looked around frantically for you.

once he had spotted you he sighed in relief and made his way over to you.

"oh thank god you're okay"

you smile shyly at him but you are so utterly exhausted that you can't even utter a word.

lewis catches onto this and nods in understanding. he takes the jacket from around his shoulders and places it on your own. your cheeks redden, his familiar smell wafting into your nostrils.

lewis guides you to the car, opening the door for you, making sure that you are comfortable before going around the otherside and getting in himself.

"you're staying at the same hotel as all the other drivers right?" lewis asks looking over at you to confirm his query. you nod in response before deciding to devote your attention the scenic views of the city.

the moonlight that shone on your face enamoured lewis and he kept glancing at your hand which lay palm facing upwards. he wanted to place his own ontop of yours and intertwine your fingers. he watched as you unwinded the window so that your hair flew ascrew across your face. he wanted to trace your cheek and pull your hair away from your eyes. his eyes scanned your face and watched as your tooth latched onto your lower lip.

his chest constricted when you looked over at him giving him a weird and confused expression.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?"

"like u want me"

lewis's eyes widen and he chuckles. "you're drunk y/n".

you roll your eyes. "well done for stating the obvious handsome".

lewis narrows his eyes and looks at you. "don't call me that"

"aw i thought you liked that" you say pouting.

lewis shakes his head. "fuck y/n pls stop messing with my head. we both know that sober you would never ever do this shit"

you chuckle. "well that's the fun of it". you take your hand and begin to trace up his arm but he pulls it away.

as the car begins to slow lewis sits up straight. "looks like we are here"

you groan, a sudden rush of nausea hitting you again.

lewis hops out and heads around to your side of the car and opens your door for you.

"are you okay to walk?"

you look up at him and then back down at your feet, you can already feel the blisters forming and your legs feel like jelly.

"um yeah i'll be fine"

you go to stand up but immediately fall and lewis supports his arm around you.

"you sure about that?" lewis chuckles. "god you are so stubborn"

"here sit down so i can take these off" lewis instructs as he points to your heels.

he glares at you and you obey. lewis gets down on his knees as he begins to unbuckle your heels. your heart is racing as his fingers brush the side of your leg. sure your head was woozy and you were most likely not going to remember this in the morning but when lewis looked up at you, holding your pair of heels in his hand you wanted nothing more than to kiss the shit out of him.

lewis eyes your feet and notices a trickle of blood coming from your heel. "fuck y/n you could have told me you were in pain" he says frustrated with you.

"i'm sorry" you mumble "i just didn't think you would care that much".

lewis shakes his hand and brings his hand to his forehead. "i care abou y/n okay so please don't keep anything from me, you can trust me i promise".

his words seem so sincere and his hand on your thigh is comforting in a way.

"okay?"

"okay" your reply.

lewis looks at the hotel. "what floor are you on?"

"oh god um i think it's 24 or 25 fuck idk i'm sorry"

"it's okay i'll figure it out"

lewis wraps his arms around you and lifts you up into his arms.

"what are u doing"

"i'm carrying you because you are certaintly not walking that distance"

you want to protest but don't.

lewis carries you up multiple flights of stairs before you make it to your door.

lewis allows you to get out of his grip as he tries to open the door. he takes a credit card from his wallet and uses it to unlock the door. shockingly it worked.

lewis helps you into the room and sets you down onto the bed. he watches as you collapse onto the bed and lay there in a ball. your dress begins to ride up and he quickly looks away.

"y/n sweetheart you have got to get changed i don't want you to be uncomfortable and also your makeup"

you groan in reponse, too tired to function.

lewis sighs. "come on i'll help you". lewis helps you sit up and you rub your eyes trying to rub your eyes free of sleep.

you sit up reluntantly. "um my pyjamas are in the top drawer over there" you mumble pointing the to top dresser.

lewis opens the drawer and picks out a set and throws it at you.

"thanks"

"um can you turn around real quick"

he coughs. "oh yeah yeah i'm sorry"

you change in the nick of time and then you are greeted by an awkward silence.

"you can go now" you say stifling a yawn.

lewis's eyes widen. "um okay....are you sure though?"

you hesitate but nod firmly. "you should get back to the guys"

"i don't really want to go back to them though" he admits with a shrug.

"then go home get some rest you had a long weekend" you suggest as a compromise.

"but i don't want to leave you here alone"

"but i'm always alone"

"yeah but you don't have to be"

"lewis...."

"please just let me stay"

"well you can sleep on the couch ig"

"thank you".

"no problem okay well um goodnight lewis and thanks for everything tonight it means alot".

lewis nods. "i'm here for you y/n whether you like or not".

you smile shyly and hop into bed as you watch him walk out of the room. it wasn't long before you had drifted off into a deep sleep.

lewis tossed and turned on the couch and the constant ticking of the clock bugged him. the light that emerged from your room enticed him. he couldn't stop thinking about you. part of him knew he was being crazy. he practically begged you to stay over and you hardly even knew eachother but even so he wanted nothing more than to be close to you.

lewis gets up and hovers outside your door before making a peek into your room. he smiles seeing your stoic figure in a peaceful sleep. upon spotting an armchair at the side of the bed he sat down in it as he kept a watchful eye on you. as the night passed his eyes fluttered and it wasn't long either before he had drifted off aswell dreaming about the company he had enjoyed that day and how he was hoping for many more days like today.

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@rafeyybabyy

@lottalove4evelyn

@sweetestgirlintown111

[hannahmanderr]

Tag

(AO3)

Valerie had always found the Guys in White a bit bothersome – butting themselves into situations they had no business being involved in – but she never felt particularly threatened by them. She knew they were aware of her and her vigilante gig, but, in general, they stayed away from her and let her do her thing.

That was, until they led her into a van and carted her away to their facility.

They had no reason to be there, in the park. It had just been the Box Ghost, and in retrospect, he wasn't even doing anything other than being a nuisance. Phantom hadn't even been there. Still, the moment she'd touched down after securing him away in her containment device, two agents practically materialized from nowhere and demanded – or, as they put it, requested – that she come with them immediately.

She had said something along the lines of "okay," but there had definitely been an intended follow-up to that "okay." Unfortunately for her, there hadn't been much time for her to protest though before one of the agents cuffed her and practically dragged her into a windowless, white van. It took more self-restraint than she would've liked to bite her tongue and keep from lashing out at them for being treated like some criminal. These guys were feds. She didn't really want them on her case more than they already appeared to be.

One goon jumped into the driver's seat while the other sat her down in the back and slipped something over her helmet that made the world go dark and quiet. "For security reasons," he assured her.

It did nothing to calm her nerves. She'd read about these kinds of special masks before. They were supposedly used by agencies like the CIA and the FBI to transport prisoners, specially designed to block out all vision and hearing. She didn't appreciate being treated like a prisoner when she hadn't done anything wrong (as far as she knew), and she didn't hesitate to voice her displeasure.

She was only met with the sound of her wildly thumping heart echoing in her ears.

Valerie didn't have the best internal clock, but it had to have been at least 20 or 30 minutes before the van came to a stop and her babysitter lifted the mask from her head. Blinding light flooded her vision, and she tinted her visor immediately. After being in the dark for so long, the light was disorienting, to say the least (the fact that the garage was stark white didn't help matters much). The full tint at least helped alleviate some of that.

No wonder they wear sunglasses all the time, she thought.

She was handed off to a third agent, who barely gave her a warning before setting off into the facility proper. They walked no more than a hundred yards before coming to a security checkpoint. The agent swiped her badge and easily stepped through the detector before the security guard turned to Valerie.

"You'll need to remove your suit," he said. "Visitors are not permitted to have weapons in the facility."

Her alarm bells had been going off ever since the GIW had appeared back in the park, but they started ringing at full volume after hearing that. Being without her weapons was one thing, but her suit entirely? That thought was unsettling.

It was deluded of her to think she had anything resembling a secret identity around them. They were government, after all. The minute she'd debuted herself, they'd probably poured a number of resources into finding out who she was. They probably had fingers in many areas of her life. If she didn't comply, they could ruin her life far worse than any ghost ever had. The thought was terrifying, and Valerie Gray didn't do terrified.

Even still, having her suit and helmet on was comforting. For one thing, the armor was fairly strong; should worst come to worst, she could at least defend herself and be protected, but it was more than that. With her helmet on, she could pretend they didn't know anything, that she was just some faceless vigilante. In the back of her mind, she knew it didn't matter in the long run, but it still.

It felt nice to pretend.

She pressed a button on her gauntlet, and a hum reverberated through the suit as it entered standby mode. "There. I deactivated everything," she told the guard, deciding not to mention certain features that couldn't be deactivated. "The suit is staying on, though."

"That won't cut it, miss," the guard said with a shake of his head. "Zero tolerance policy."

"No, I mean like I can't take it off. It won't deactivate while it senses an ectoplasmic presence in the area." Was it a lie? Absolutely. She just hoped it was believable enough for it to slide.

The guard opened his mouth to protest, but the agent cut him off. "Leave it," she said. "We're on a tight schedule. We need to get her to O, now."

If O was the same Agent O that was the co-commander of the Amity Park squadron, then Valerie was really not looking forward to this. She didn't have much time to think about it though before the guard ushered her through the detector and handed her a temporary badge. The agent grabbed her by the handcuffs' connector and led her down the corridor, into the heart of the facility.

Her own heart raced so fast, she was sure it would jump out of her chest.

The facility ended up being more of a labyrinth than she'd been expecting. They wound through endless hallways with white linoleum, stark walls, and bright, fluorescent lighting. She tried to study the route they were taking, searching for any identifying characteristics on the walls and doors- cameras, room numbers, anything really - but the task was much easier said than done. Everything was bare and unmarked. No signs on the doors, no markers, nothing. 

How did the agent even know where they were going?

As they continued, she got fidgety. She wanted to pull out a gun and tinker with it or something. Although her father was less than happy about it, poking around her weapons when she was agitated was something along the lines of a coping mechanism for her. It helped take her mind off things with the added bonus of learning more about her technology, sometimes not even on purpose. 

Right after her breakup with Danny, she'd been messing around with her ecto-rifle so much that she'd accidentally increased its firing speed two-fold. She'd immediately done the same to the rest of her weapons.

Calling up a weapon probably wasn't the best idea, though. Even though they were technically powerless at the moment, the agent probably wouldn't take too kindly to her fiddling with a gun, and causing trouble probably wouldn’t end too well for her in a place like this. As much as she hated it, she needed to keep quiet and compliant for the time being.

Without anything physical to distract her, her thoughts began escalating. Why did Agent O want to see her so bad? Why go through the trouble of tracking her down and giving her the prisoner treatment and everything? Had she seriously done something wrong?

She couldn't think of anything she might've done that would've offended them. In fact, she hadn't been doing as much as of late, period. Ghosts were showing up with less frequency than they had when she first started, and the ghosts that did decide to show up tended to be hard-hitters who were specifically looking to pick a fight with Phantom. In other words, she hadn't had as much hunting to do recently. 

As much as she enjoyed hunting, though, she had to admit the relief was welcome. She’d managed to swing an A- on the last chemistry exam, and her essay for Mr. Lancer was coming along nicely. She’d been able to hang out with Star a bit more, and she’d even gotten to sit and have a pleasant conversation with Danny while waiting for her dad to pick her up from work. Dad was much more pleased with how her life was looking, to say the least.

Oh God, how am I gonna explain this all to Daddy?

The question frayed her nerves so much that she almost collided with her escort, who'd stopped suddenly. A door stood in front of them, unmarked just like every other one she'd seen so far. The agent didn't say a word as she pulled it open. Valerie couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses, and she couldn’t read any sort of emotion on the agent’s face. 

She couldn't help but wonder if there was a different, darker reason for wearing them.

She only hesitated a moment more before entering the bare room. It was no less white and lit than the hallways she'd just come from. There was no furniture; a door and a large, frosted glass window took up most of the back wall. Some sort of interrogation window, maybe one of those fancy, one-way mirror things, she figured.

The only other thing in the room was the man who apparently was so desperate to see her, Agent O. He was tapping at something on a tablet, but he looked up when he heard her enter. A smile bloomed on his face, but there was no warmth behind it. "Hello, Valerie," he greeted.

It took a great deal of her willpower to resist the urge to flinch at the use of her name. It had been coming, of course, but at least she’d been able to pretend she was just some faceless vigilante before.

She silently thanked herself for tinting her visor. It did a wonderful job hiding her true emotions.

"Thank you for coming in today," Agent O continued. He seemed oblivious to her worry. "We apologize for the lack of notice, but this situation was completely unprecedented. We believe it may require your certain… expertise. There wasn't much time for formalities or contacting you to set up an appointment."

Valerie crossed her arms indignantly, her fiery stubbornness reigniting despite the nerves. "It's not like I had much choice," she grumbled.

"Yes, well, as I said, this is a situation of sensitive and urgent nature. We couldn't afford to waste time going through niceties," he said, unfazed by her displeasure.

"What could be so urgent that you need to track me down personally and practically kidnap me?" Valerie deadpanned.

If possible, Agent O's face hardened just slightly. "I will remind you, Valerie, that you came with us willingly. There was no kidnapping involved."

Valerie opened her mouth to protest, but stopped before she said anything. It could maybe be argued that she hadn’t consented to being jerked around and cuffed and hooded and carted off, but at the same time, she technically had agreed to come with the agents, as coercive and unofficial as it had been. There wasn't much she could do with that to peg them.

He raised one eyebrow, seemingly waiting for her to object. When it didn’t come, though, he continued speaking. 

"Some interesting information has recently come to light about a certain ghost. Information that some of our scientists are having difficulty wrapping their minds around. We believe your more… intimate knowledge of the ghosts of Amity Park may be of value to us," he said, scrolling on his tablet. The glare of the screen reflected off his dark sunglasses lenses.

She resisted the urge to make a snarky comment about how a teenager knew more than a whole team of adults whose lives were dedicated to this sort of thing. Instead, she asked, "And what sort of help do you think I could be?"

The corners of Agent O's mouth twitched upwards. "What do you know about ghosts with human identities?"

That made her freeze.

Her encounter with Danny Phantom's cousin and Vlad had only been a few weeks ago, and she'd spent those past weeks agonizing over what had happened and the implications. It was hard enough knowing that these sort of ghost-human hybrids - or whatever they were - existed, and then she had to go and discover that the man she trusted had been using her this entire time. 

She’d been desperate to talk about it with someone, but no one knew of her secret identity. The Fentons may have known something about the subject, but they could be overbearing at times. And there was no way she could talk to her father, who still didn't fully approve of her ghost hunting. He would flip a lid if he knew the truth.

She’d nearly spilled everything to Danny when they’d talked the other day. It made sense, in retrospect; he was the person she trusted the most outside of her dad, and he was just so easy to talk to. The idea of just telling him about her ghost hunting had crossed her mind more than once, but the fear of endangering him and getting him hurt - physically or emotionally - was too strong.

Especially now knowing how dangerous Vlad truly was.

Really, at the end of the day, there was one person she knew had the answers and could maybe help her process through it, but there's no way she'd admit she needed his help in a million years.

And so despite her mental turbulence, she’d resolved to hold her tongue. It was probably for the best, anyway. She had a distinct feeling she was never supposed to know about this ghost-human thing in the first place, and a part of her wished she'd never found out at all.

On top of it all, she still wasn't even sure how to feel about the idea of these kinds of ghosts, the ones with human attributes. She'd hated ghosts vehemently for so long, it was difficult for her to think they could be anything but trouble. Dani, of course, had proven her wrong (with a little encouragement), and her cousin had made a good point that it wasn't just the fact that they were ghosts, they were humans too, but just how far did that go? Goodness wasn't an issue with Dani, but Vlad was clearly a monster of a person. 

She didn't feel any remorse for him.

Still, something held her back. She hated to admit it, but Phantom had hit the nail on the head that night: she had no problems with destroying ghosts, but she couldn't bring herself to destroy a human, even if they weren't fully human. As long as there was some human there, they couldn't be all that awful, right? But such logic countered her long-held beliefs.

It gave her a headache just trying to reconcile the two. Most days, she avoided thinking about it. It wasn't her problem, it shouldn't be her problem. And yet she was standing here, having been dragged into it again.

Without moving her head, she glanced towards the window. Was it possible they really found another ghost that was also human? Or did they get to Dani? The thought of that little girl being held captive in this facility caused her stomach to drop.

A chill ran down her spine as she wondered if it could be Vlad behind that window. She didn't think she could stomach the idea of facing him right now. She'd strategically avoided meeting with him these past few weeks for that exact purpose. And if the Guys in White could get their hands on a powerful ghost like Vlad… She wasn't sure how to feel about that.

She forced herself to calm down. Agent O had said ghosts with human identities. That didn't necessarily mean that it was one of these hybrid type ghosts. It could be a ghost like Spectra, who disguised herself as a human therapist, or Ember McLain, who posed as a pop star. 

Actually, in retrospect, there were several ghosts who'd pulled one over on the people of Amity Park, and they'd all had a number of tells that should've given their identities away. Maybe they just wanted to talk to her about this sort of thing. She knew enough about ghosts and their interactions with humans to spot their tells. This was information she could easily give to the Guys in White and be done.

Agent O was watching her carefully. She was taking a long time to answer his question, and she knew he was getting suspicious. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Well, Amity Park has had a lot of ghosts that have posed as humans to try and get to us. It's a fairly common tactic, and overall, people have gotten better at finding them, but – "

He waved her words away. "Yes, we know all about them. I'm talking about human identities on a deeper level. Possibly to the point where they may not be as ghostly as they seem."

Once again, she had to use all her willpower to avoid cursing out loud. Stay calm, think logically, she told herself. She couldn't afford to screw up here. She didn't want them knowing she knew way more than she should. She couldn’t have them knowing she knew more than she should. 

It was every possibility that it was just some random person behind that window with some obscure connections to ghost activity, or maybe some dumb ghost trying to be cool that ended up getting captured. It was very possible that she could walk away from this without revealing anything.

Well, she hadn’t participated in middle school theater for nothing. Knitting her eyebrows together (despite the fact Agent O couldn't see her face) and putting on her most innocent voice, she said, "I'm not quite sure I'm following you."

Agent O turned back to his tablet. "Valerie, you're a smart girl.Think about it: what if there was a specific breed of ghost that could disguise itself beyond the poor masquerades we've seen so far? One that could take on the physical attributes of a human in order to hide?” He broke into a smile. “This may not even be a matter of disguising, either. This could mean the existence of interspecies hybrids with humans, something unheard of throughout history."

He scrolled and tapped until he found what he was looking for, turning the tablet around to show her. She wasn't much of a scientist, so she wasn't quite sure what she was looking at, but she could definitely see a strand of DNA in the diagram, although there was something off about it. Parts of it were discolored and disfigured.

"This is from a sample taken from a ghost's bodily ectoplasm right after a fight in Amity Park,” he explained as she studied the diagram. “Needless to say, we were quite surprised to find actual DNA in the ghost's proverbial blood, considering ghosts are held to not have DNA. Ectoplasm has never been able to retain the same DNA structure that a human can. Maybe that’s why we were even more excited to find that parts of the DNA we found made up genomes resembling that of a human's.”

The diagram and the agent's explanation suddenly made the situation even more real to her. Once again, her mind drifted back to Dani and Vlad. Was this what their ectoplasm looked like? Or even their human blood? Swimming with the genes of a human and the traits of a ghost? And just how many others were out there with this same type of ectoplasm?

She glanced up at Agent O. "How can someone be human and ghost at the same time? It's like being dead and alive at the same time."

He frowned. "We're not entirely sure. Our scientists are still working on their analysis of the ectoplasm and working through their theories. That's not entirely important right now, though. What is important is that it is possible. Just think of the implications."

She was, in fact, thinking of the implications. The thought that there could be more of these kinds of ghosts nauseated her only because she relentlessly shot at just about every single ghost she came across. She couldn't stand thinking that she'd come close to accidentally destroying a human being, part ghost or not. 

For the sake of the situation, however, she pushed those thoughts away. Instead, she said, "You mean there could be ghosts hiding under our very noses and we wouldn't know about it?"

He nodded. "Exactly. But think beyond just that. This could be used to our advantage! A military weapon, far more advanced than any technology on the market right now. A soldier able to sneak up on the enemy without being noticed, one who can't be touched by bullets, and be able to take them out with his bare hands. If we can learn to replicate this," he said, shaking the tablet and splitting his face into a wicked grin, "our army would be unstoppable."

Her stomach churned. "Isn't that kind of illegal?" she asked weakly, hoping her voice wasn’t betraying her. "Taking people and doing that to them?"

Agent O’s eyes grew dark and hungry. "Forgive me for sounding brash, but it would give purpose to some of the more… undesirables."

She wanted to run out of the room right then and there. Feelings of ghosts aside, taking innocent (or even not-so-innocent) people like that and forcing them to turn into some strange half-human creature and then conscripting them to fight in the army against their will… It was sickening. Horrifying, really. She couldn't believe these words were coming from the mouth of an American government agent.

She wouldn't let that happen. Not on her watch.

She took a few deep breaths to calm her anger and her twisted stomach. "I hope you know I'm not here to do your dirty work for you," she bit back at him.

Again, he was unfazed by her outrage. "We're not asking you to do anything like that, Valerie. That's our job. However, you'll be doing a great service to your country today either way. You'll help us get to where we need to be."

"How so?" She really didn't want to hear whatever he had in store for her.

"The ghost we found is being extremely uncooperative. It refuses to tell us anything, even after multiple attempts at eliciting information," he said.

The suggestions of torture weren't lost on her, and it only fueled her anger. If this ghost truly was part human, then these guys really were breaking the law.

But they were federal government. Didn’t they basically get to decide the law?

"You've encountered this ghost before during your time in Amity Park," Agent O continued. Somehow, she wasn't surprised, though her heart sank just a little more. "We believe that a familiar face may be able to… persuade the ghost to give us our information and reveal to us its human identity. We want you to go in there and get us what we need."

She'd figured as much. He was right when he said she wouldn't be doing the dirty work of beginning to replicate the mutation and experimenting and all that, but she was practically doing just that by agreeing to interrogating whatever ghost they had. 

"What if I don't want to?" she asked. There was no sense in drawing this into a long thing, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

He fixed her with a look. "You don't want to make this difficult on you and your family, Valerie. We're only asking one simple task of you."

Oh, hell no. He did not get to threaten her father like that. She’d take this entire facility down with her bare hands before she let them use him as a bargaining chip like that.

And yet there wasn't much choice for her. She couldn't put Dad in that position.

She deflated. The victorious look in the agent's eyes bothered her to no end. "Fine. I'll do it. But you better not even so much as look at my father or I'll tear you - all of you apart." She felt stupid saying it. The threat sounded foolish and hollow, even to her. Still though, he nodded, satisfied.

"Who is this ghost you have anyway?" she asked with a sigh.

"Ah," he said, turning to his tablet once more. "I'll show you." He tapped a couple of buttons and the frosted glass of the window became clear. 

Valerie's knees almost buckled when she saw the ghost bound to a metal chair.

A shock of white hair. A logo plastered around her city. Alien green eyes burning with terror.

Her face burned red under her mask. Whether it was from anger or shame, she couldn't tell. Something inside of her was paralyzed to the point where she could only hear white noise echoing in her head. She was only vaguely aware of Agent O watching her carefully, but she didn't exactly care at the moment.

She had to get in there and talk to him.

But even as she walked through the door and met Danny Phantom's horrified gaze, she wondered how she was going to make it through this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danny liked to think of himself as a brave guy. Since starting this superhero gig, he'd gotten into some terrifying situations. Watching his family explode at his own hands was pretty bad. Or almost dying as he tried to keep the most powerful ghost in existence locked up. Or even that time Sam almost killed him for accidentally letting Cujo use her favorite skirt as a toilet. He'd survived all of those and bounced back from them fairly easily.

He had to admit to himself, though, that he'd never been this scared in his life.

As quietly as he could, so as not to get the attention of the two agents assigned to guard him, he tested his bonds for what had to be the tenth time. They still held fast against his hands and ankles.

He didn't like having his hands tied behind him. Every survival instinct that came with his ghostliness screamed that it left his torso very vulnerable to an attack. Not only that, but the hands were what he could defend himself best with. There was a good reason that hands behind the back was a universal sign of surrender and submissiveness in ghost body language, something he’d learned over time. You couldn't fire an attack at someone from behind your back, and you were leaving yourself open to your opponent. You were putting yourself at the mercy of the other.

It was an instinct and an implication he couldn't ignore, especially because the Guys in White were the kind of people who wouldn't hesitate to put a scalpel to him. Thankfully, they hadn't gotten that desperate yet.

Trying to break my hand, electrocution, psychological warfare, he thought dryly, but no vivisection at least. Or would it be dissection?

Admittedly, it was getting harder and harder to keep his mouth shut, in more ways than one. The more stressed out he got, the snarkier he got. It was a defense mechanism, Jazz once told him. An attempt to mask his anxiety and fright using humor and sarcasm, apparently. 

He wasn't sure if he believed her (or any of her psychobabble about him), but if it was true, it was definitely working to hide how he really felt. Of course, his sass just antagonized the agents interrogating him and made them push harder.

But it was also getting harder to keep quiet about the information they wanted. Namely, his secret. He had no idea how they figured it out, but they kept telling him they had proof of his human half. That revelation itself almost shut him down right then and there, but he vehemently denied the accusation. His identity was his most carefully guarded secret, and he would not let it go without a fight. 

No one ever said it wasn’t tiring work, trying to keep Phantom and Fenton as separate as possible. Thankfully, they hadn't mentioned anything about Danny Fenton yet, but they hinted that they knew he had some sort of human form. Part of the torture had been to get him to change into his human form, in fact.

The fact that they didn't know too many of the details about the whole half-ghost thing was somewhat reassuring, and it helped him stay quiet. The less they knew, the better, and he wasn't about to add to their arsenal. He was sure they had a bunch of science nerds foaming at the mouth trying to work out more, but that process would take more time than him spilling the beans.

If he had to stay here and endure to keep the secret, then so be it. He couldn't put Dani in danger like that. And he hated to admit it, but he couldn't even put Vlad in danger like that. As much as he hated the guy, betraying him like that went against every single one of his moral codes.

And so he sat in the chair with his arms and wrists growing sorer by the minute, terrified out of his mind. Agent O, the guy who had been doing the bulk of the interrogation so far, had left a while ago without explanation. It had to have been at least an hour since he left, Danny figured, but he'd lost track of time a long while back.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door opened. Danny straightened, expecting to meet Agent O and face him with more tenacity than before.

What he didn't expect was for Valerie Gray to march in and slap him across the face.

He could only stare at her, flabbergasted, as she jabbed a finger into his chest. "You dirty liar," she growled, the sound of her voice distorted by her helmet. "All this time, and you've been lying to me since day one."

Danny's heart sank. They had to have told her. She probably put two and two together already, given what he'd told her about half-ghosts during their encounter with Dani. He'd hoped that experience had warmed her up to him a little bit, but any progress he'd made with her had just been undone in an instant.

She was taking the revelation far worse than he'd hoped.

Agent O had entered the room silently and was standing in the corner with his hands behind his back. He watched the two teenagers with mild interest, but his face was mostly unreadable.

Valerie turned to him. "I need to have a minute with him alone," she said, her voice hard. "We need to have a heart-to-heart."

"Anything you have to say to it can be said in front of us, Valerie," Agent O replied calmly. “We’re all on the same side here.”

I’m not, he wanted to sass back, but he managed to keep himself quiet.

"No," she said. "This is personal. You knew that when you brought me in here. If you want me to do this, then you leave us alone. No guards, no cameras, no nothing. This is just between me and him."

Danny watched the argument unfold. It would make sense that these goons would want to be a part of whatever happened in here, but he didn't understand why Valerie was being insistent on not having them around. Normally he'd think she didn't care whether they saw or not. Especially if she was as mad at him as she seemed.

Agent O was also watching Valerie intently. "We need a way to record the information you're getting for us," he said. The calm in his voice annoyed Danny just as much as he knew it drove Valerie crazy. "You're asking us to simply take your word for what happens in here."

"What, you think I'm gonna lie to you?" Valerie retorted. She turned back to face Danny, and a chill ran down his spine. Seeing her like this, with her mask so dark and anger radiating from her body like her own mini aura, was haunting. "There's no way I'm gonna lie to protect him."

His heart shattered.

He shouldn't have been surprised, but it still hurt more than any physical torture to hear the girl who once said she'd give up ghost hunting for him say that to his face.

She looked at Agent O again and pointed to her helmet. "I have recording equipment set up in this thing. If you guys are so desperate for your information, I'll give it to you after I'm done if anything interesting happens, if my word isn’t good enough for you."

Agent O considered this, all while still staring her down. As hurt as he was, Danny sat in awe at the way she refused to back down to this man, both in argument and in her body language. It was one of the many things about her that caught his attention. Too bad in this case, like many others, this steadfastness was being used against him.

After what felt like an eternity, the agent nodded. "Alright. You can have it your way. But we'll expect you to submit to a full debrief afterwards, including surrendering that helmet."

"Deal," Valerie said, a little too eagerly for Danny's tastes, and she stuck out a hand for Agent O to shake. He took it, and Danny saw the muscles in his hands tense as he squeezed the hand harder than he probably should. Valerie, however, still did not waver.

After realizing that she wasn't going to show any sign of discomfort, he let go of her hand and pulled up the tablet by his side. He tapped a couple of buttons, and Danny saw the tiny blinking red light in the corner of the room die down. "Cameras and audio have been disabled," Agent O said. He turned to Danny's babysitters and waved them out of the room. 

Before he exited and closed the door, he gave Valerie a pointed look. "Remember who you're doing this for," he told her darkly, and he shut the door, leaving Valerie and Danny alone.

Danny was taken aback by the tone the agent had used on her. "Valerie, are they threatening you?" he asked. It was the first thing he'd said to her since she'd come in.

Apparently speaking had been a mistake. She whirled on him with an accusatory finger jabbed into his chest, saying, "Don't act like you care about me, Phantom!" Her voice had suddenly grown hoarse and cracked. "You don't care about anything except your own hide!"

So he was Phantom. He couldn't exactly tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Look, I know how this all seems to you," he said, trying to keep his voice as calm and placating as possible without seeming condescending, "but I never meant to hurt anyone, especially you. Can't you see that?"

To his surprise, she yanked off her helmet and dropped it with a clatter. His heart and core both sunk to the floor when he saw just how upset she was. Her face was pink and blotchy and her eyes were bloodshot. There were actual tear stains on her cheeks.

In all the time he'd known her, he'd never seen Valerie Gray cry.

"Just because you may not have meant to hurt me doesn't mean you didn't," she said, the heat in her voice unmistakable. "All this time I've been hunting you down, and you didn't think it was important enough to tell me?"

"In my defense," he began, a little miffed by her arrogance, "it isn't exactly something I go around telling everybody, you know? Especially people who are always yelling about how much they hate me. Sorry if I didn't think you'd handle it all that well."

If possible, Valerie looked even more hurt. "You seriously think I would hurt a human? Who do you think I am?"

"I didn't know if you would care about the human more than you hated the ghost," Danny snapped. He hated having to explain himself to her like this. Under these circumstances. He’d never been great at knowing the right things to say in these sorts of conversations, and it was even more difficult to figure out what to say under pressure like this.

"So that's it then? I'm just some heartless monster who resorts to shooting first, no matter what?"

Danny didn't answer. He knew she wouldn't shoot. The Valerie he knew would care. She'd be upset, but she'd try to be reasonable and talk it out before making any rash decisions. 

Of course, that was the Valerie that Danny Fenton knew, and as of now, she still didn't know about that. The Valerie that Danny Phantom knew was a ruthless hunter, capable of being reasoned with, but only in extreme circumstances.

He took a deep breath. "The issue is that I really don't know you all that well," he said, avoiding her eyes. At this point, every word that was coming out of his mouth was a lie, and he knew it would come back and bite him in the butt. But what else could he do? "Basically every time we’ve come across each other, it’s ended with you having a gun pointing at me. That doesn't exactly invite much confidence."

"But I helped you with your cousin," she countered.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He hated what he was about to say. "Yeah, but even when you found out about who she was, you had no problem turning her over to Vlad. I had to convince you to go back and help me rescue her."

She was quiet for a long time, her lips pressed into a thin line. Another tear trickled down her cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. "That was when I trusted him."

That was… unexpected. "What are you talking about?"

"I found out he's been lying to me this whole time, too," she said quietly. "Just like you, apparently."

He felt a pit growing in his stomach. There was no way this was gonna end well, but he had to know. "You're gonna have to be more specific."

She started pacing in front of him, slowly. "I went back, after you and Dani left. I heard him talking to his AI of Mrs. Fenton. I saw him transform." She stopped abruptly and looked at him. "But I'm sure you knew all this, right?"

Danny found himself reeling. After all the lengths Vlad went to in order to protect his identity, after their conversation about their stalemate, and she found out that easily? It seemed impossible. Vlad had always been the untouchable type.

"And now to find out that you've been lying to me too, about the exact same thing!" Valerie was still saying. "Don't you understand? How that feels?" She scoffed. "Never mind. What am I saying? Of course you don't. You only care about yourself."

He hadn't caught up to what she was saying to process her accusation. His brain was still stuck on the Vlad revelation, and rightfully so. The things Vlad could do to her if he knew his secret was blown…

It was less about saving his own hide at this point. He knew his own secret was toast. But Vlad was a powerful man, and Valerie was nothing but a disposable pawn to him. He'd made her into who she was; he could do the same to another unsuspecting victim. She could be removed from the picture easily. The thought sent a horrifying chill down Danny's spine.

"Does he know that you know?" he demanded.

She furrowed her brow. "Does who know? About you?"

"No, Vlad! Does he know you found out about him?"

She opened her mouth, probably with some biting comment on her tongue, but she left it hanging open. In the days to come, Danny would wonder what came over her or what caused her to change, but he saw her soften before his very eyes, just ever so slightly. Maybe it was the desperation in his voice, or her own realization of the danger, or even just exhaustion. 

Whatever happened, though, her eyebrows lifted and the creases near her eyes smoothed out just a little bit. The angry gleam in her eyes died down to a skeptic glare, still heated but with a little less fire. "No," she said slowly, watching him carefully.

He released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He didn't miss how Valerie's eyes shot down to watch his chest deflate, but he tried to ignore it. "Good. You can't let him know that you know."

The hardened, angry look returned just as fast as it had disappeared. "I know that! I'm not stupid," she retorted. It may have just been his imagination or some sort of delirious hope, but her voice sounded a little less harsh than it did when she'd been ranting a moment ago. "Besides, this is about you, not him. I mean, you lied to me about both of you anyway. And you probably would've lied to me about Dani too if you could've."

"I was trying to protect you," he said, and he instantly regretted it. He hated having to be on the defensive like this, especially when it came to verbal arguments. He tended to get too caught up in the moment and make stupid comments like that one. Ghost fighting was so much easier; no tactful arguments involved, just good old physical fighting with a snarky quip thrown in every now and then.

He braced himself for the tirade coming his way. She was sticking him with one of her worst death glares.

"Protect me?" she seethed. "I don't need protecting. I don't need protecting from anything. And even if I did, I especially don't need protecting from you of all people. That would be like – like you holding a gun to my head and telling me that you're taking care of me. You say you were trying to protect me? Well look where we're sitting right now! Tell me how stellar of a protector you are now."

He hesitated. She was right. For all that he'd done to shield her from the complicated underlying truth, he'd failed. Failed miserably, at that. Here he was, tied to a chair with his secret identity hanging on by a thread, and there she was, driving herself crazy with all the new information she was being forced to deal with. Neither of them were in a favorable position. 

It killed him so much to have to see her like this. It only served as a bitter reminder of his inability to protect her, whether she wanted the protection or not.

"You… you're right," he said, bowing his head. "I did a sorry job of it. And you're your own person. You're capable of defending yourself. I can't control you, or what other people do, or anything. I couldn't stop either of us from ending up here, and I couldn't stop you from finding out about Vlad and Dani. I just wanted you to be able to live as normal as possible and not have to deal with all of… this."

She barked a hollowl laugh. "Putting aside the fact that I refuse to believe you care about me whatsoever, normal hasn't been a thing for me ever since you showed up."

"It's not like I asked for this either, Val," he said. His mouth was beginning to get ahead of his brain, but he couldn't stop the words from coming out. "I haven't had normal for a long time either. I've had to deal with this stuff since day one, ever since I became what I am. I just figured there was no sense in both of us having to deal with it."

"That's not your decision to make!" she shouted. She cupped her mouth with her hand, pausing a moment before speaking again. "This is why I can't trust you! You literally just went on and on about how I'm my own person and you can't control me, but you talk about deciding what I should and shouldn't know. Every other word that comes out of your mouth is some sort of lie or trick, and you expect me to be able to trust you? Or believe that you actually have my best interests at heart or something?"

This conversation was going absolutely swell, he decided. All he was doing was talking himself into a hole. He needed to convince her that he was on her side. Whether or not he got out of here, he needed her to know that he never meant her any harm. Even back when he hated her.

She wasn't going to listen to anything Phantom had to say, that much was clear. She was too hurt and angry. But he still had one last card to play and use to break through to her. 

The only issue was he had no clue whether revealing himself as Fenton would make things better or worse, especially now.

She was staring out the one-way window. He watched her reflection carefully. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her shoulders were creeping forward and up towards her ears. As angry as she was presenting herself and as loud as she generally was, this was the smallest he'd ever seen her.

"The worst part is that I did start to believe in you for a moment there," she said after a long time. Danny looked up in surprise, taken aback by the admission, but he kept his mouth shut. He needed to hear more.

Sighing, she continued, "Everything that happened with Dani shook me, alright? And it wasn't just finding out about her and Vlad. You were almost the weirdest thing about that night. The way that all you could focus on was saving your cousin when I was ready to rip into you. You were just so determined to save that little girl that you didn't care what happened to you. And I saw you when she disintegrated. You just… you seemed absolutely devastated. And then after all that, you stayed behind to keep up your end of the deal. You just willingly offered yourself up to me. I think I was so surprised that I just let you go. I didn't know what else to do.

"And I kept thinking about it, too. I had no clue what to make of it. It went against everything I knew and believed about you and other ghosts. For a while there, I started to think that maybe you hadn't been lying to me; that maybe you really were different from the rest and that you did care."

She shut her eyes. "And now come to find out that you were lying to me the whole time. About who you were and everything. When they showed me you sitting here… I didn't know what to think. It felt like I'd just been stabbed in the back. It was just… I felt betrayed, alright? So betrayed. More than I had with Vlad. I have no idea why, but it felt like I was maybe beginning to understand only for it to turn out you were just playing me the whole time."

He didn't understand why she was being so transparent with him. It was very out of character. Even when they'd dated and she was talking to someone she actually liked, she'd never talked about her feelings in this way.

"I never lied to you about being different," he said slowly. "Obviously, I'm not like the rest of the ghosts. But I never lied about caring for you either. That's the different part of me."

She looked at him through the reflection in the mirror. Her back was still towards him. "Yeah, well, being part human doesn't suddenly make you a saint."

There was a pause, and then, "And what's all this with caring about me and protecting me and stuff? You sure didn't seem to care that much when I first met you. Why would you want to put so much effort into me and then not even tell me the truth?"

The answer was on his lips. He wanted to tell her so badly. He wanted to tell her how much he really did care for her, how much it hurt him seeing her like this, maybe even how he sometimes wished they'd never stopped dating. He wanted to change back and spill his heart out to her and beg for her forgiveness.

It would be so easy. The transformation was like blinking. He could do it without even thinking. With no one watching except for her, all the cameras off and her helmet face down on the ground. He could make it happen.

And yet he couldn't. Shame of his cowardice burned at his face. Any response he could've given her got caught in his throat. He didn't have the words to explain to her. Only his actions could show her, but he was still too scared to even do that.

Do you really even trust her then?

When he didn't answer, Valerie turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Well?"

He couldn't meet her eyes. "Please don't make me answer that," he said in little more than a whisper.

Through his bangs, he could see the emotions tumble across her face. Surprise, anger, realization, solemnity – they all flashed across in a moment. It was easy enough to tell that her brain was hard at work, trying to reconcile his answer with a suitable explanation. He only felt more dismayed when she finally settled on hurt again.

"I know you, don't I?" she asked.

It almost wasn't a question. He knew that she already knew the answer. She needed to hear it from him, to confirm or deny it. He knew that she didn't want it to be real. She wanted him to tell her that she was wrong, that he was just some random kid she didn't even know existed.

And yet, he'd run out of lies to tell. His silence was answer enough.

"Oh my God," she muttered, burying her face in her hands. "Oh my God, I do. I know you. You're probably someone I sit in class with every day and I've been trying to kill you…"

The sudden turn toward self-blame snapped Danny out of his guilt. "Don't even start with that. Look, you were right. It is my fault for not telling you, okay? I should've just come out with it at the very beginning and put a stop to it before it came to this." Once again, he found himself unable to stop talking even after having been silent a moment ago. "I should've told everyone at the very beginning. I shouldn't have tried to keep it a secret."

He couldn't help but think of his parents. He was supposed to have been home hours ago. Even if he was out late at night, he was usually home for dinner if he didn't have other plans. At this rate, he wouldn't be home for a long time. They'd be worried sick about him.

It would've almost been easier if they knew.

Valerie, clever as she was, didn't miss the implications. "Does anyone else know?" she asked. Her voice was softening just a little. Still very much distressed and hurt, but not as bitter as it had been. Maybe the mini-revelation that they knew each other outside of ghost hunting had made it a little more real to her.

He took a breath. "Most of the ghosts know. Vlad does, obviously," he answered honestly. "Humans?" He shrugged as best as he could, trying to keep it a little casual. "Not many. Only a few." He didn't want to give her too many details. He wanted to hang on to his identity for however long he could.

Valerie pressed her back against the wall and slid down until she was sitting. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. "Do they know, like, who you are?"

Numbly, Danny nodded. He almost didn't have the energy to lie anymore. The exhaustion from the whole situation – getting captured, being 'interrogated,' dealing with Valerie – it was suddenly beginning to take a toll on him. He just wanted to go home and curl up in bed and sleep for a week and forget that everything was falling apart at the seams.

The silence stretched on. Valerie, arms wrapped around her legs and chin resting on her knees, stared at a spot on the opposite wall. Danny watched her as discreetly as he could, desperately wanting to know what she was thinking. At least she's not yelling anymore, he thought.

Of course, the silence was almost worse to deal with than her anger.

He wondered what the Guys in White were doing. He wondered if someone was on the other side of the mirror, watching the conversation play out to make sure they got the info they wanted. He wondered about the scientists that were probably frantically analyzing his DNA. Did they know what they would be condemning him to if they discovered the truth?

And what was Valerie going to do? Her helmet was still on the ground, face down. He assumed she never turned the recording equipment on; she was the kind of person who would want the answers for herself before even thinking about sharing them with someone else, especially someone like the Guys in White. As far as he knew, she didn't particularly care about siding with them, so to speak.

But they wouldn't take this sort of insubordination sitting down. The last thing Agent O had said echoed in his mind. They had something over her, some sort of blackmail maybe. Maybe it was her identity. Maybe it was her dad.

He shut his eyes. He was assuming that she was going to side with him on this. After all the hurt and anger she'd shown, how could he expect that of her? There was every possibility she would walk out of this room and spill the beans.

And yet she hadn't said anything about Dani. Or Vlad. She'd gone out of her way to protect Dani once she found out she was innocent. At the same time, she was clearly furious with Vlad and no doubt wanted to get him for what he'd done for her. In the end, it all depended on whether she believed in his good intentions or not.

Basically, he had no idea what she would do.

He took a deep breath. Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Do you want to know?"

Their eyes met. Hers were filled with an emotion he couldn't comprehend. He couldn't imagine the turmoil she was facing, having these kinds of revelations thrown on her so suddenly. It hadn't even been that long since they rescued Dani. He'd at least had a little more time to deal with these sorts of things, and he'd had Sam and Tucker (and Jazz, later on) to help him through it. She didn't have any sort of support system, not even her dad.

Suddenly, her expression steeled. She stood up and walked around to the back of his chair. It took him completely by surprise; he craned his neck to try and see her. "What are you doing?"

She didn't answer. He heard the telltale hum of a laser, and he immediately flinched. The pain didn't come, however. Instead, the bonds around his wrists suddenly fell away. He immediately brought his hands back around and massaged his sore wrists.

She circled back around. "Valerie, seriously, wha-" he began to ask, but he was cut off when she knelt down and used the laser in her gauntlet to cut through the bonds around his ankles.

For a moment, he couldn't even speak. She looked down at her boots, unable to look him in the eye. "You hurt me. A lot. You can't really change that, and I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you, at least for a while. I need time to think and go through it and stuff, but we don't really have that right now," she said, fidgeting with her gauntlet. She took a breath before continuing. "Even though part of me still wants to strangle you for lying to me, I kind of get it. I think. I don't know. But either way, these guys don't have the best of intentions, for you and for a lot of other people. I can't be a part of that. I just… can't."

Danny frowned. "What do you mean a lot of other people?"

She shook her head. "The specifics don't matter. You just gotta get rid of whatever they've got on you before they start doing something we'll regret."

It wouldn't be too difficult, he figured. The Guys in White had their security and all, but their scientists weren't known for their intimidation or defense. It would be a little tough to get over to their department (what with phase-proof walls and cameras designed to sense invisible ghosts), but if he turned human and then turned invisible, it might be enough to fool the cameras. As far as he knew, they only started tracking when they detected a certain amount of ectoplasm.

And Tucker had been able to hack into their network before. That had taken a while, and they might've updated their security since then, but Tucker was a whiz. He could get in, delete anything necessary, and get out without being noticed.

"Wait a minute, what about you?" he asked, the thought hitting him like a brick wall. "They were threatening you earlier; they're not gonna be very happy when they find out you freed me."

She kicked one of the shackles that had been around his ankles. "I didn't cut it in exactly a straight line. I'll tell them you broke through or something and that you shorted my helmet. I was lying about the recording stuff anyway," she admitted. "I'll say I couldn't fight back because I had to deactivate all my weapons and they wouldn't come back on in time. They'll believe me. They'll be mad, but they'll believe me. They already hate you enough anyway."

Danny grimaced. He hadn't thought that far ahead; he'd been more focused on Valerie and getting out of here. If the two of them really were able to pull this off, then the Guys in White would be gunning after both of them harder than ever. They could get rid of DNA, they could delete data, but they couldn't erase minds. He'd have to be on his guard even more.

And Valerie would have to be on her guard as well. She claimed they'd believe her, but he knew agents like O would still be suspicious. They'd watch her carefully. Not to mention the fact that she still had to pretend she didn't know anything about Vlad…

It wasn't fair. She hadn't done anything to deserve any of this. Burdened with all of this pressure, having to keep all these secrets, constantly having to worry about her life and her father's.

Sam would tell him he was being ridiculous. He had to deal with those sorts of things, too, she'd say, and arguably on a larger scale in some circumstances, but as he watched her face become more resolute with a sad solemnity, he couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if he'd been able to stop that dumb ghost dog all that time ago.

His crime was playing around his parent's portal and releasing all those new threats into his world. He was paying that price. Her crime had been nothing other than being a normal girl.

No wonder she hated him so much.

"And you're… you're okay with this?" he asked hesitantly.

Valerie rolled her tongue in her mouth. "I don't know. I'm sure I'll wake up in the morning and regret this. But…" she trailed off. He recognized the look on her face. She was thinking something, but she refused to say it out loud. She didn't want to admit whatever it was to him.

He saved her the awkward silence. "You're a good person, Val. Your heart is in the right place, I'm sure. It isn't fair that you got all this dumped on you so suddenly. I'm just really grateful you're willing to do this for me."

"Yeah, well," she said. She blew out a long breath. "You seriously owe me one after this."

He hadn't realized he made up his mind until she said that. "I'll tell you. Uh, my identity, that is," he said quickly before he could second guess himself. His core fluttered and his stomach turned over and he could feel the ectoplasm rushing through his veins, but he felt sure that it was the right thing to do. "You deserve at least that much."

That earned him a look. She studied him for a moment before shaking her head. "No. Not right now. They're gonna question me about whatever happened in here. At least I can truthfully claim ignorance then. They'll know if I'm lying about your identity." Danny considered that, and he had to admit she had a point. 

His heart warmed at the thought that she would lie to protect him.

"Besides," she continued, "it's hard enough finding out that I know you for real. I don't think I can handle putting a name and face to that fact right now." The words came out stunted, like it was too difficult for her to say out loud. "I guess it's like maybe if I don't know the whole truth, I can pretend the rest of the truth isn't real. Or that it's not as close to home. Ignorance is bliss and all."

Danny nodded. He knew he shouldn't be surprised – he thought she'd be demanding him to reveal himself by now – but her motives were understandable. It was odd, seeing her thinking things through like this and not jumping to conclusions or anger like she tended to do when it came to ghost stuff, but it was also incredibly encouraging. He almost wished he could show Sam and Tucker as proof that she could change.

She started to turn away, but he caught her hand. Her mouth opened, undoubtedly to tell him off, but she stopped herself. Danny hesitated a moment before saying, "Whenever you're ready then, okay? I'll tell you." She watched him with analytical, green eyes, and he instinctively looked away. "Besides, you might figure it out on your own or something."

Valerie didn't say anything, instead choosing to pull her wrist from his loose grip. From her belt, she pulled off a stick-like weapon. She pointed it toward her side and clicked a button, causing electricity to spark up the sides and hover dangerously over her suit.

Danny was taken aback. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"Not everything was deactivated," she told him, staring at a spot on the wall behind him. If she was worried about the electricity three inches away from her, she didn't show it. "Just chill, alright? It's only set to stun, and it won't be that bad since I'm human. The important thing is the effects are similar to ecto-electrocution, so they'll just think you jumped me and knocked me out."

His mouth opened and closed like a fish. Things were suddenly moving way too fast for him to fully process, but he could at least process the gist of what she was saying. "I'm not gonna stand here and let you hurt yourself!" he protested.

She glared at him, but the corners of her lips twitched upward into a slight smirk. "You don't get to tell me what to do, Phantom," she said. 

Before he had time to say anything else, she closed her eyes and inhaled, steeling herself for what she was about to do. In one quick motion, she pressed the stick into her side. Electricity scattered across her suit. 

Danny reached out, but he couldn't find it in himself to say anything or even grab the stick away. He could only watch in dismay as her body shook with the shock, her curly hair becoming even frizzier and her teeth clacking together as they buzzed. It was only a couple of seconds before she dropped to the floor, unconscious.

He couldn't help but stare at her limp body. Every instinct was screaming at him to scoop her up and take her with him, but he gritted his teeth and took in one slow breath. He had to trust she knew what she was doing. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, she’d told him, and he'd witnessed it firsthand. She'd be okay.

And if, for some reason, she wasn't…

"I'll come back for you," he promised her, more for his sake than anything.

Pushing away all thoughts of her, he swiped the taser-stick off the ground and set off in search of the research wing.

[purplephantomwolf]

Savoring the Finish Line

Chapter Three

Story Synopsis: Max Verstappen falls in love with a woman who owns a bakery.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately. Also, this is not an accurate portrayal with how a bakery works. I did my best with research, but it's not 100%.

Warnings for this chapter: Badly translated French, mention of panic attack

Previous chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two

Next chapter: Chapter Four

Masterlist

December 19, 2021

     I slam my hand down onto my phone, turning the alarm off. I feel the bed jolt as Elise and Lacey jump onto it. I laugh as they nudge my face, trying to wake me up more. “I’m up, I’m up,” I mumble, sitting up. My dogs jump off the bed and run to the stairs. I climb out of bed and get ready to take them outside. Clipping on the leashes, I let Elise and Lacey lead me outside. We wander around the block, the dogs sniffing the same things they do every day. They need to make sure that nothing has changed in the past 24 hours. 

     The puppies take off upstairs once we arrive home. I follow them up the stairs, making sure they have enough food and water for the day. “Okay, girls. I need you to behave for me,” I say, giving both of them kisses on their heads. I reach the bottom of the stairs as Louis and Estelle walk through the front door. “Good morning, Estelle. Good morning, Louis,” I greet them. 

     “Good morning, Adaline. How did the rest of your night go?” Louis asks, heading for the office. 

     “Really interesting!” I laugh. Louis and Estelle stop to look at me, both of them raising their eyebrows. “I forgot to lock the door after you guys left, and I had an unexpected visitor,” I start to explain. 

     Louis interrupts me before I can tell them who the visitor was. “That’s dangerous! You can’t forget to lock the doors!” He scolds me. 

     “I know, I know! But this was a good visitor! It was Max Verstappen!” I respond. Louis’ mouth drops open. Estelle looks between us. 

     “Max Verstappen? Isn’t he that Formula 1 driver?” Estelle asks, looking confused.

     “Yeah, he’s the one who won the world championship this year,” Louis turns to her. He turns back to me, looking sceptical, “Are you sure it was Max Verstappen? You weren’t in some fever dream?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. I put my hands on my hips.

     “Yes, I’m sure. Considering he spent at least 30 minutes here, I don’t think I was hallucinating or having a fever dream,” I smile. “Now come on, we���re opening soon!” I wave my hands, shooing them into the office to put their stuff up. 

     “Too bad it wasn’t Charles,” Louis calls, as I’m about to enter the kitchen. Louis and I have a playful rivalry going on as he’s an avid Charles fan. I laugh, shaking my head. I enter the kitchen, getting everything in the bakery ready for the day. 

     I hear the door’s bell ring right at 6 am, as I’m putting some croissants in the oven. “Adaline, there’s someone here who would like to see you,” I hear Louis call. My eyebrows knit in confusion. I wipe my hands on my apron as I walk out of the kitchen. 

     “Oh, bonjour Max!” I greet him. I walk up the counter. I feel both Estelle’s and Louis’ presence behind me. 

     “Bonjour, Adaline,” Max smiles at me, before looking at the menu. As he looks at it, I turn to Louis, mouthing I told you so. He just shrugs, before I turn back to Max. “What would you recommend? My trainer told me to pick something up for us for after working out,” Max asks, looking from the display to me. 

     I hum, thinking. “Well, I assume you’re going to want something light. I’d go with either some scones or croissants.” Max nods, looking at our options of scones and croissants. 

     “Can I take two of your blueberry scones and two of your regular croissants?” He asks.

     “Of course,” I say, grabbing a bag. As Louis rings up Max, I grab his pastries. “Have a good day, Max,” I smile. 

     “You too, Adaline,” he says, waving bye. I wave back as he leaves. I whirl around, looking at Louis.      “I told you!” I laugh. Louis holds his hands up. 

     “Alright! Alright! I believe you now!” Louis laughs. I laugh as I walk back into the kitchen to continue baking.

************************************************************************

December 28, 2021

     I look up from placing some pastries on the display as the bell on the door rings. “Good afternoon, Max. Did you have a good Christmas?” I grin. 

     “I did! I spent it with my family back in the Netherlands. Did you have a good one?” Max smiles. I nod, finishing up the display.

     “I did. I spent it with Louis and Estelle,” I say, “Now, what can I get you?” Max takes a look at the display and then the menu.

     “I’ll try one of your cupcakes and a pain du chocolat,” he answers.

     “Good choices, good choices. These cupcakes are my guilty pleasure,” I say, grabbing a cupcake and pain du chocolat. I place them in our to go box and ring up Max. 

     “Where are Estelle and Louis?” Max asks, looking around and taking the box from me. 

     “I give them the days off between Christmas and New Years. The bakery never gets so busy that I need to have them working at all, but I like the company. Plus they’re basically like my parents,” I shrug. Max walks to one of our tables and sits down. 

     “Okay. Tell them hi for me next time you see them,” Max says. He shifts in his seat a couple of times. He opens his mouth to say something else but then closes it.

     “Everything okay, Max?” I ask, concerned. I sit down across from him, waiting to see if he’ll tell me. 

     “I wanted to thank you for helping me through the panic attack the other week. I’ve never had one before, so I didn’t know what to do,” Max explains.

     “Max, you don’t have to thank me for helping you. I know how tough they are to go through alone. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience that,” I softly smile.

    “Okay, but I still wanted to thank you, so I thought I’d give you this as a thank you,” he says, sliding me an envelope. I look at him confused, picking up the envelope. I open it and gasp. Inside is a paddock pass to the Red Bull garage. 

     “Max! I can’t take this! You didn’t have to get me anything as a thank you!” I exclaim, pushing it back towards him. 

     “I wanted to,” he says, pushing it back to me. “It’s a pass to the Red Bull garage during the Bahrain Grand Prix. It should get you in on all three days.” I take the pass and inspect it. 

     “Thank you, Max,” I say, looking up. He just smiles and takes a bite of his cupcake. The bell rings as someone enters. “Thank you again, Max.” I stand up and walk behind the counter. “Hello, welcome to Delicieux Gateries!” I greet the customer. As I take their order, Max waves bye. I wave back, before continuing with the customer. 

************************************************************************

January 17, 2022

     “Welcome back, Max,” I grin, as he walks through the door. 

     “Thank you, Adaline. How is your day going?” Max explains, smiling. 

     “It’s been quite alright. Louis and Estelle left for vacation earlier today, so it’ll be just me for the next week. How has training been going?” I ask, taking up my place at the register. 

     “It’s been going well. We have a pre-season track session in Spain here in a month, so training has gotten tougher,” he answers, “I’ve tried your cupcakes, pain du chocolat, blueberry scones, and croissants. What would you recommend next?”

     “Well, we have the choux a la creme or the kouign-amann. I just made fresh batches of both of those,” I think aloud. 

     “I’ll try one of both of those then!” Max exclaims. I nod and get to work packing them up for him. As I pack them up, he asks me about Bahrain. “So, do you have a hotel for Bahrain yet?”

     “I do! I fly in on the Tuesday before the race and then leave on the following Monday. I wanted a few days to explore the city before the race,” I answer. I finish with Max’s order as he nods. 

     “I fly in on the seventh because we have pre-season testing the weekend before. Hopefully, I’ll get to see you before it all gets hectic for the race,” Max tells me. 

     “I hope so, too. If not, I’ll be cheering for you from your garage,” I grin. 

     “You’re right. Well, I’ll see you in Bahrain. Have a good day, Adaline,” Max says, heading for the door. 

     “See you in Bahrain, Max. Have a good day,” I wave bye.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @milaeth

[mirisss]

Chapter 8

Wordcount ≈ 3.1k

Warnings: anxiety, exercising (dancing + warming up), self-doubt, self-hate, angst, reader being a bit mean to herself (thoughts), almost fainting, mentions of the possibility someone will hit reader, food, eating, mentions of past abuse against (Y/n), 

I apologize for the long wait for this chapter, I’ve been swamped during summer with work and I got my driver's license but now I’m back again! The wait became even longer as I got hit with writer's block. I still hope you enjoy this chapter! 

Taglist: @ayoo-bangtan​, @lose-lose07​, @kingcarrot-thecarrotking​, @starjane312​​, @reighlee-greaves​​, @hi-39024, @queenmea604​, @septicrebel​, @justayoungandwisefangirl​, @imasimplol​,  @k-p0p-4ever, @detectivedoodle​, hehe-24-hehe,  let me know if you wanna be added!

Please reblog!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 9, 

Italics are thoughts

(Y/n)’s POV

After we had finished eating, Seungmin and I regrouped with the others before, once again, splitting up as the members had some different schedules up until lunch. “Have you decided who you wanna go with for now, (Y/n)?” Changbin asked while we all began walking to the elevators. “Yeah, I decided to go with Danceracha up until lunch and after that, we’ll see,” “Yes! We got (Y/n)!” Felix exclaimed happily making some of the employees around us look at him with weird looks before they returned to what they did previously. “Alright, Changbin and I’s meeting should be over around 2 pm, maybe a little later. Do you think the rest of you will be ready for lunch by then or sooner or later?” “I can’t really say for us, it depends on how many changes we wanna do to the choreo and how long it takes us to learn it,” Minho answered Bang Chan, it sounded a bit complicated but I think seeing them dance will be a lot of fun. “Our vocal training with the coach is scheduled between 9.00 am to 1.30 pm, so we should be done by 2 unless we run over too but I don’t think we will as the coach is on a very strict schedule,” Seungmin said, he was apparently the one who had booked the training session so of course he was the one who knew all the details. “Mm, okay. Well, when the three of you are done with your vocal training, why don’t you stop by the dance studio and see how it’s going for Danceracha, if they seem to be running late, bring (Y/n) with you and meet up with us for lunch. Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix will just have to eat later unless the other choreographers want to eat too so you can take a break,” “Yeah, that sounds good to us, how about for you (Y/n)?” “Oh, yeah, that’s fine, Jinnie,” “Great, we’ll see you later. We have to go now or we’re gonna be late,” And with that, the group split up. 

Minho took my hand and led me into an elevator with Hyunjin and Felix following us. They guided me to a big room with an entire wall made up of mirrors, in one corner there was a small-ish black couch, and beside the couch, there was something that seemed like a computer - probably where they controlled what song played in the speakers. I looked around the room with awe, it had a somewhat cozy feeling as I turned back to the mirrors and saw how the three dancers were looking at me with love-filled eyes and sweet smiles. “Want to warm up with us, (Y/n)?” Hyunjin asked as Minho walked over to the computer and began typing away. “I don’t know how,” “That’s fine! We usually follow one another, today it’s Hyunjin’s turn to lead the warm-up so all you need to do is face the mirror and imitate Hyunjin’s movements, and if you struggle with anything you can ask any of us for help, but really all you need to do is try your best,” Felix said as he came over and put his hands gently on my shoulders before shaking me lightly to make me smile. “Okay, I’ll try!” “Great, let’s start then. In 30 minutes the choreographer is coming so we need to be ready by then. Jinnie the floor is yours,” Minho said, using a tone I was unfamiliar with, it was stern, leaving no room for arguments. 

Hyunjin faced the mirrors just like the rest of us, though he was standing a few steps in front of us, I stood beside Felix, watching Hyunjin’s reflection in the mirror carefully. “Have fun, (Y/n)!” “Hm!” I nodded my head before focusing on Hyunjin once again. Minho took out his phone and hit play and a second later music filled the room and Hyunjin began moving, with the rest of us following his lead. Minho and Felix had no problem keeping up but I struggled a bit, the other two probably knew what movements would follow one another, I, however, did not. But as I remembered what Felix said before we started I began calming down and stopped focusing on all the mistakes I made and rather focused on just having fun as I tried to keep up with Danceracha. After warming up for 15 minutes I was sweating like crazy and I was very tired, my vision was becoming a bit blurry, and my movements were slower. “Hey stop! (Y/n)’s about to faint,” Felix shouted alerting everyone, even myself, of my swaying body and my weak legs. Felix quickly stepped closer to me before he gently hooked his arm around my waist and helped me walk over to the couch in the corner of the room. Minho and Hyunjin went to get some water and towels. With just over 10 minutes left before they had to meet with the choreographer, and I was taking up their time. This is why no one likes you. This is why no one wants you. An angry, dark voice resonated inside my head. The voice made me shrink back into my shy and shut-off self, I couldn’t look at Felix, I knew he would be angry, I should have been able to do this, hybrids are supposed to be good at exercises, but I’m not. “Hey, (Y/n). Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Can you see me? Are your eyes okay?” His voice was silky smooth, deep, and warm, it was filled with worry and love. He doesn’t actually care. If you look at him you know he’ll hit you. “(Y/n), please, look up at me?” Run away, he doesn’t want you. They don’t want you. They hate you. You’re a waste of space. Felix gently put one of his hands on my chin and then lightly tilted it upward so my eyes would meet his, I froze as soon as my eyes met his. His eyes were full of worry, adoration, love, fright, and anxiety, no matter how hard I searched for any feeling of hatred, I could find nothing alike it. It’s all fake. “Are you okay?” “I, -” My voice cracked as I just noticed how dry my throat was both from the exhaustion but also from the anxiety the evil voice brought with it. I broke out in a small coughing fit as I tried to catch my breath. “It’s okay, look at me, you’re fine, (Y/n), I’m here. Minho-hyung will be back in a few seconds with some water for you,” As soon as Felix had said it, Minho came jogging back into the room with four water bottles in his hands, closely followed by Hyunjin who had some towels in his arms. “Here,” Minho said as he handed a water bottle to Felix who opened it before giving it to me. I gladly took it and gulped down half the bottle, soothing my sore throat. “Feeling better now?” Felix asked as he took the water bottle from me, closing it before taking a towel from Hyunjin’s arms. He unfolded it and carefully patted it against my forehead, wiping away my sweat. “ I’m sorry,” “Why are you sorry? (Y/n), you don’t have to apologize,”

“I ruin everything,” “(Y/n), I’m sorry but I’m going to raise my voice a bit right now. You don’t ruin everything. Anyone can faint when exercising, you don’t mean any less to us because of this, we are the ones to blame because we should have thought about the possibility of this happening. This is not your fault. It could just as likely have been me or any of the others who fainted. We all love you, so so so much, nothing would change that. Okay? Listen to me, WE LOVE YOU” I was startled as Felix raised his voice at me, he wasn’t screaming but he was speaking significantly louder than he ever had before around me. Usually, something like this would have me shivering and crying, yet with Felix my eyes were locked with his, I was frozen as I listened to his warm voice as I saw the tears escaping from his eyes. There was nothing but sincerity in his voice. Minho and Hyunjin had walked out of the room shortly before this to stop the choreographer from stepping inside before Felix and I had calmed down. I could hear their voices as they conversed outside the door, joined by an unfamiliar voice that I assumed belonged to the choreographer. “Please, (Y/n). Don’t put yourself down, we love you, I love you, so please, please love yourself, if not for your sake for ours,” I slowly moved my hand up to his face and wiped away the tears that had streaked his cheeks. “I’ll try, for you,” Felix enveloped me in a warm hug before he took a deep breath and calmed down from his crying.We sat there, our arms encircled around each other, as we were shaking from crying, sniffling, and trying to calm down from what just happened. “Please (Y/n), please believe me when I say that we love you,” I couldn’t answer him verbally so I opted to just give him a tighter squeeze before I let go of him and moved back a tiny bit. I shakily put my hand on his cheek and wiped away some of his tears with my thumb. Felix took a deep breath before wiping away my tears too. “I have to get ready now, we can’t keep the choreographer waiting any longer,” “I’ll just stay here so that you guys can focus,” “(Y/n), you wouldn’t be in the way,” “I know, but I still feel shaky, I don’t think I can stand up just yet,” “Are you sure you want to stay here then? You don’t want to go to some of the others?” “I’m sure, I want to see you and Minho and Hyunjin dance,” “Okay, bunny. Just let us know if you need anything,” “I promise,” “Good,” Felix gave me a kiss on my forehead before he stood up and walked over to the door to let Minho and Hyunjin back inside. 

15 minutes later and I finally stopped feeling nauseous and shaky. My eyes were locked solidly onto the way that Danceracha was moving. The smoothness, the precision, the look in their eyes, it was mesmerizing. “With this move, I would prefer if we could do it like this,” Minho said as he showed what he meant, the choreographer watched closely before discussing it further with Minho going back and forth until they reached a move they were both happy with. All three of them glanced back at me every now and then, when they saw that I was watching them they just smiled and looked away again. Soon a few hours had passed and it was time for lunch, to me though, it felt like only a few minutes had passed from the moment I shared with Felix, as we both cried, holding each other. “Come on, let’s meet up with the others,” Hyunjin said as he waved me over with a tired but happy smile on his lips. Danceracha looked exhausted, quite frankly they reeked of sweat but they had been dancing none stop for a few hours. “Weren’t Han, Seungmin, and Jeongin supposed to stop by when their training was over?” “Yeah, they should be coming any second, it’s only 1.35 pm. The vocal room they had booked is five floors above this one so it takes a few minutes to walk between them,” Felix answered as he tenderly took one of my hands into his before leading me to the door. After we had stepped outside my nose picked up the familiar scent of the youngest Stray Kid.

“Hyungs! (Y/n)! Hi!” “Ya, Innie, you’re not supposed to scream right after training,” Jeongin just turned and gave Seungmin a playful glare in return before he continued smiling and jogging in my direction. “Hi” I waved to the three of them. Seeing them run and smile, being so carefree and happy, it made me feel like maybe there is hope for me too, that one day I can be freed from all of my worries, from my past. As long as I stay with them, as long as I’m with my family I’ll be fine. No more being alone. No more darkness. “How was it? Watching dance practice?” Jisung asked once he too caught up with us. I looked at Danceracha, pondering over whether or not I should tell the others about my accident. “It was fun, I wish I could dance like them,” Minho looked at me, understanding my decision of not telling them yet, or I think he did because he began talking about something else as he began walking toward the elevators with the rest of us following. Seungmin walked beside Felix and me, he tenderly took my free hand into his as we were walking. It wasn’t until he did that that I realized just how cold my hands were, when Felix took my hand into his I didn’t think about the heat difference as Felix had just been dancing for a long time but Seungmin had not and his hand almost felt like it was on fire compared to mine. “Wow, did you take a trip to the North Pole? Your hands are so cold!” Seungmin proclaimed as he laughed. “Oh, I didn’t even think about it, holy, (Y/n), we need to get you some tea or some hot chocolate to warm you up,” As the two began fussing over me Minho looked back, surely after he heard them speak of my icy hands. His eyes spoke so loudly, as he stared into mine, he knew I was cold after the panic attack, even if I had calmed down and wasn’t crying anymore, my unconscious mind hadn’t let it go just yet, it had pretty much shut down.  “I’m sure she’ll be fine after she gets some food, we all need it so come on, let’s move it, Chan-hyung and Changbin are waiting for us by the cafeteria, their meeting ended a little earlier than they thought it would,” Chan had apparently texted Minho that info just now, I didn’t even notice him checking his phone. 

After arriving at the cafeteria we quickly found Chan and Changbin, they had taken a large table so we could all sit together this time. We ordered our food and then Minho told Chan, and the others, about what happened in the dance studio. Everyone looked worried but they were happy nothing worse happened. “Maybe it would be best for you (Y/n) if you went home to rest for the rest of the day. You’ve experienced a lot today and maybe we shouldn’t hurry this exposure too much or things like this will happen. We need to gradually expose you to our hectic schedules. If you want I can come home with you,” “What about the meetings?” “Changbin can handle them, the hardest one is finished already, the last one is just for the name of the album and we’ve never had a problem with those meetings before, besides Changbin has handled meetings like this alone other times too,” “I’m actually feeling quite worn out so maybe going home would be best,” “Uh, hyung, actually, I don’t think I can take this next meeting on my own,” “Huh? Why not?” “They changed the schedule, the album name meeting is tomorrow, and after lunch, we have the meeting regarding the music videos,” Bang Chan let out a loud sigh, he looked really annoyed, but I wasn’t scared of him, because I knew he wasn’t upset with me, and he isn’t like my previous owners, he wouldn’t hit me. “Ugh, why do they change the schedule every time? We always put it like this, then they change it only to switch back to OUR original schedule… ugh. Well, (Y/n), sorry that means I can’t take you home,” Chan looked at me, he looked disappointed. “It’s okay. I think I can just rest on the couch in the dance studio, don’t worry,” “I could take her home, we don’t have that much left to go over for the dances so the part I miss Minho-hyung and Lixie can teach me tomorrow,” “As long as it’s okay with Minho and Felix, it’s okay with me, you know I rarely but in regarding the dances, that’s Minho’s responsibility,” Chan said the last part as he chuckled because Minho gave him a fake annoyed glare. “Mm, take the bunny home, make sure she gets some rest,” “I will,” Hyunjin gave me a smile before we all continued eating our lunches. 

After we all had finished eating Hyunjin called their driver to come and pick the two of us up and drive us to the dorm. “Take care and rest well, (Y/n). We’ll see you tonight,” Jisung said as he gave me a warm and tight hug. “Change into the new pajamas we got for you, you know the one that was so warm and fluffy!” Jeongin said as he then reminded Hyunjin where it was. Everyone either hugged me before saying goodbye or just waved and smiled. Soon it was just Hyunjin and I, as we waited in the lobby for the driver to come. “He’s here, come on, (Y/n), we can go home and watch a movie and maybe draw some more,” “That -” YAWN “- sounds nice” “Haha, tired I see,” And so we got in the car, I barely sat down before my eyes were closing. The last thing I remember is hearing a low humming from Hyunjin as I rested my head against his shoulder before I fell into a deep sleep. 

~ To Be Continued ~

Please reblog! 

[pit-2-podium]

F2 Sprint highlights

god i love f2 - immediately Joshua Durksen just goes directly into the wall taking two cars out with him

no one knows what just happened - the commentators are trying desperately to try and figure out what just happened

- everyone is okay

I believe it was Enzo Fittpaldi who just swore very loudly?

correction FIVE cars out in one go

five lap safety car with paul aron in the lead - their all chilling

And away they go - paul aron is off into the sunset

overtake from franco colapinto

pepe marti with a 10 second penalty from start of the race issues - a stop start penalty (shameless self-promotion: i've got a post on penalties if your curious)

their playing follow the leader (follow-follow me, in a line, in a line)

there's not a lot to talk about tbh their all playing very nice as of lap 12

shoutout to Ollie Bearman doing better f1 standings than he is in f2

Zane Maloney is coming for third - and does not get it

Franco Colapinto and Paul Aron battling for first - Franco is basically antagonizing Paul

I'm not going to lie, I got distracted looking for this really niche elementary school song/game that i referenced above and only found a really lame version of it where they just pose - that shit was like sudden death when i was a kid.

Anywho in FP3 in f1 the presenters made a really good point that both Zane Maloney and Paul Aron are doing better than Antonelli and Bearman yet were not talking about them for possible seats next year - and that we should talk about them more, so good job dudes

Midfield battle with Kimi Antonelli in the lead

Zane Maloney finally over takes Amaury cordeel in a smart breaking move around the outside

Colapinto chasing down Aron

AND HE DOES IT ON THE LAST LAP - they were so close to contact after Aron has the slighest mistake

Gabriel Bortoleto gives a last ditch attempt at taking p5 from Ollie Bearman and gets blocked

Franco Colapinto will be the first Argentian driver on the f2 podium!!

Paul Aron is not having a good time

The commentators are giving Franco some very sweet notes

a minute of dead silence in the driver cool down room

Lowkey vibing with Argentina national anthem - he looks so proud, as he should be

Damn did Paul Aron really just walk away during the Champaign spraying??

[aettuddae]

hole in one — chapter 43. [part 2]

⌕ synopsis: at one of the most prestigious universities in the country, where everyone is battling to be the center of attention, yu jimin is just a regular. people want her because of her beauty, but all she cares about is sharing her freaky stuff with her friends and passing her subjects. although there's one thing that might push her out of her comfort zone, revenge. when nakamura kazuha, one of the richest and most well-known students of NCU, starts to spread gossip about her for thousands of followers to see, jimin decides to get back by taking away the thing kazuha cares about the most: her perfect girlfriend, the young golf star, kwon haru.

masterlist | prev | next

[half written chapter]

"here we are." announced haru from the driver's seat after finishing parking her car behind minhyuk's.

hearing those words, karina rushed to one of the doors with the intention of opening it and trying to escape from that awkward situation, but haru hurried to put the locks, blocking her plan.

"stop trying to run away!" nagged her, stressed.

"sorry, ssem." she settled back into her seat, calming her demeanor.

"ssem?" reiterated kazuha, the first thing she said in all the way. her face quickly showing displeasure.

haru lifted her hand and placed it on her girlfriend's shoulder, carefully pushing her back into place as she was holding onto the backrest so she could face her body against the economics student's. she gave her a reproachful look, as if telling her to behave with her eyes. kazuha settled back and abandoned the tantrum she was about to throw.

"she calls me that because i'm her golf teacher, okay? it doesn't have any other sense." clarified the older gently, to which the girl nodded her head.

"why don't we go out?" spoke jimin abruptly, in a loud tone, with intentions of disrupting the interaction.

possibly it was just the anger and hurt she still held for what kazuha had done to her, that she didn't like her at all, or that the idea of the plan to separate them still lingered in her subconscious, but she didn't want to see haru and kazuha being fine.

"because kazuha still hasn't apologized to you." elaborated kwon.

"oh." voiced karina. "oh!" the girl clasped her hands together, eliciting a snap, then rested her chin on them, watching the golfer with a winning smile as she waited for her to speak.

kazuha turned from the passenger seat to look at her, raised an eyebrow and shifted her eyes from her head to her feet with a grimace of annoyance. "sorry." she said listlessly as she turned her eyes back to the front.

"baby..." her couple scolded, tired.

the brunette turned her head to look at her partner. when their eyes connected, kazuha's attitude dropped completely, giving way to a dejected aura about her. she took the older's hand between her own, ‐ to which jimin couldn't hold an eye roll -, and took a big breath of air.

"really, karina, forgive me for what i did." she expressed, seriously. "it wasn't right and i hurt you too much, you didn't deserve it."

an expectant silence settled in between those four doors, but quickly turned to strain after the victim's response, "i don't forgive you."

"what?"

"you shamelessly ruined my future and my image." evoked jimin. "thank you for apologizing and assuming you did things wrong, but i'd be lying to you if i said i could stop feeling resentful towards you." she sentenced. "haru, open the doors already."

the girl behind the wheel gave a long sigh and heeded her, removing the locks from all the car doors and allowing her to get out and rejoin her friends, so that they all headed inside the main office.

"i really can't stand her." assured nakamura as she watched karina walk away through the windshield.

"even if she didn't accept it, thank you for apologizing." said haru sincerely. "it speaks well of you that you put aside your ego and pride, and were able to admit that you did things wrong."

"i did it for you." she reminded. "yes, i was wrong, i know, but i don't care if she forgives me, i just want you to see that i can change." she unplugged her belt and lifted herself up in the seat, leaning back on her knee. "i would do anything for you." she leaned over her girlfriend, placed a hand on the side of her face, pulling her close so she could press a kiss to her cheek.

"just promise me you'll leave her alone."

"sure." she said vaguely before getting out of the car.

[sammyluvr]

indulge — ruby

cw : gn!reader, fluff, established relationship, canon typical violence/death mentions, injury, bit of blood, so many kisses, pet names (baby), soft ruby, not proofread, 1.2K. requested !

summary : you get slightly injured trying to protect ruby, and she gets soft on you and patches you up.

ruby admires your devotion. she knows devotion. and yours is real and it’s for her. it’s a power trip and it makes her question herself. she’s pretty sure that she’s not supposed to feel quite so affectionate and protective of someone. but she does. she really feels when she’s with you, she’s taken back to some semblance of humanity and it’s quite strange.

you’ve taken her unbeaten heart and made it flutter, made it clench, made it thump in her chest. she just really likes the way your eyes get all fuzzy and unfocused when she kisses you.

when she asked if you’d do anything for her, she never intended to put you in any danger. but you’d follow her anywhere, even into the fray of knives and guns and ruthless smiles. it’s true that you can handle yourself, however mindless you get when you’re with her, but you’re certainly not invincible.

there’s a man aiming to stab her straight through the back. “ruby!” you shout in warning, whirling in place to block the blow. your own knife stops him, but you’re thrown off balance and the next swipe of his weapon comes in contact with your side, ripping through fabric and skin.

and for the first time, ruby dislikes the sight of blood. she stabs the man who sliced your skin through the throat. he’s the last of them, so she grabs your wrist and pulls you away, an angry scowl on her face. you must be crazy, because all you can think about is the way you’d love to kiss that frown from her lips.

her fingers around your wrist aren’t all that gentle. she’s upset, you can tell. but her hold on you is never harsh. in her car, she grabs you a clean rag and grumbles for you to keep it pressed against the cut in your side. her jaw is clenched and she runs her thumb over your cheekbone for a quick moment before closing the door and going around to the driver’s seat.

she drives you back to the motel room you stayed in last night, sitting you down on the side of the bed. she puts a hand over yours that holds the rag in place, leans down, and kisses you softly. 

she steals your breath away, you train of thought, your pain even. every damn time, her kisses make your mind go blank and your muscles fall slack.

“you have to be more careful,” she murmurs right against your lips. it takes you a moment to register what she actually said. she moves back a little and you just hum in acknowledgment. her other hand smooths over the side of your head. “you can’t be so reckless like that, baby. okay?” and it hits you that she’s worried about you. she’s almost doting in this moment. and she’s letting herself love on you, in a pure and soft way.

honestly, you don’t really care what form her kisses come in, as long as they’re given to you. but this feeling easily overpowers the sting over your lower ribs. it flows from her lips through yours and when you swallow it, it goes to your heart rather than your stomach, and it makes you full.

it’s sweet on your tongue, with a subtle irony tang to it, so it must have come from her heart, too. which means that her heart can’t be empty, if she’s giving from it. that means that her heart fills with blood for you, because there wasn’t anything much to give before. now, she’d kiss you for hours, even if it meant that you bled her dry.

“i’ll be careful,” you finally murmur, pulling her back to you with a slightly bloodied hand and kissing her again. she kisses back without a split second of hesitation and lets your lips linger for a moment or two. but she’s anxious to get you patched up, so she pulls away and grabs your first aid kit. then she sinks to her knees in front of you. her fingers find the hem of your shirt and lift it up. you finish the job and toss it aside, easily baring yourself and the cut to her.

she winces lightly when she sees it clearly, then grabs what she needs from the first aid kit. it’s really not that bad; it won’t even need stitches. ruby still hates it, so she uses gentle hands to clean it up. she blows on it softly after applying alcohol to lessen the sting and she holds your hip with a reassuring, soft and small hand when she’s working one-handed. she bandages it carefully and skillfully.

you grab her wrist when she stands and turns to go without explanation. “where are you going?” you ask, eyes pleading just a little bit as you look up at her. her eyes and smile are endeared looking back down at you. it’s so very sweet to her that you can’t bear for her to leave for even a moment without knowing where she’s off to.

“you need water,” she answers simply, resisting the urge to tease you. she just really loves to tease you, and you make it quite easy with those pretty eyes and soft lips. sometimes you look a little pathetic, the way a puppy does when it wants affection. it’s adorable, really. she could likely get high off the look you give her after she kisses you. like she’s a god, or at least a drug. you have that in common; you both get no better high than being with the other.

you let her wrist go because she’s right, but mostly because it makes you all giddy that she's looking after you like this. usually you’re the one to remind her about water. she doesn’t feel thirsty, but you take care of her body for her. now she’s doing it. relearning from you maybe, what it’s like to tend to someone else.

god, she’s so damn pretty when she crosses the room and grabs the motel’s extra water bottle. ruby looks nice with her back turned to you. even better when she comes back. you can see her when she kisses you, but you’re sure that’s when she looks best.

“you’re so pretty,” you murmur, over and over again, right against her lips. she drinks that up, then spits it back out with a quiet, doting mouth. she interrupts things for a minute, but this time you let her, sure that she's got a sweet enough reason. she pulls a new, soft shirt over your head to protect your bandages, then her hands are laying you down against the pillows.

ruby’s kissing you and kissing you and you could go insane because you’ll never get enough, and yet, this is perfect and better than anything you could ever ask for. she doesn’t let you move, doesn’t let you get needy or restless. your hunger for her is boundless, but she feeds it until you’re too tired to eat. then she kisses your forehead and rests her head on your chest. she could keep kissing you all night, she really could. but she lets you sleep and she knows you like the weight of her on you.

ruby loves to indulge you. in an uncalculated, unthinking way. she just does it because she likes it when you’re content and sleepy and safe.