#it's okay not to be okay as long as you get help
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navybrat817 · 3 days ago
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Cooking Together
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky asks you to cook a meal with him.
Word Count: Over 1.5k
Warnings: Fluff, longing, pining, canon divergent neighbor AU, flirting of sorts, mention of HYDRA, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: Short and sweet for @stellar-solar-flare’s Starry Winter Sky Event! I went with cooking together and Neighbor AU as a small expansion of this nonsense. February has had some lingering January energy, and I hope you enjoy what I was able to write! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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If you asked Bucky if he thought he was a good cook, he’d say he was decent. He retained some of what his mom taught him many years ago and he carefully followed recipes once he was completely free of HYDRA. It was admittedly a bit of a rough go at first. Being able to choose what he could eat was a foreign concept after he didn't have the choice for so long. It got better each day. Every single meal he got to reclaim a piece of himself by making the choice of what he did and didn’t want.
Until today, he always cooked alone.
“Thanks for inviting me over,” you smiled, graciously accepting the apron he handed you.
Bucky had moved into the building a few months ago and you lived across the hall. As far as neighbors went, you were the best. Since day one, you always greeted him with a smile and a kind word. You never played your music too loud or disturbed anyone. Alpine adored you, which told him everything he needed to know since she was the best judge of character. And you never once objected to looking out for her when he had to leave for a mission.
Out of paranoia, he left harmless little “traps” to see if you'd snoop through anything the very first time you went over. Nothing that would hurt you or draw your attention, of course, but something that would let him know if anyone tampered with anything. You didn't. You were a genuinely good and respectful person, and that made him trust you more.
“Thanks for accepting the invitation. And allow me,” he offered, stepping behind you to help you tie it. His fingers lingered on the fabric and he took the moment to inhale your sweet scent before he stepped away. He didn't want to be a creep. “And it’s the least I could do since you offered to watch Alpine. Again.”
“I love watching her. She’s wonderful.”
The photos you sent were something he always looked forward to when he was away. Some of the captions you added made him laugh and smile. His favorite was a selfie you took with Alpine’s cheek against yours. He saved it as “my girls”, which you weren’t aware of.
Because you technically weren’t his girl.
“Well, she adores you,” Bucky smiled. He adored you, too. It stunned him when he found out you were single, and he was selfishly thankful for that. 
“I’ll have to get her another toy,” you said, your lips curling in a small smile. “If that’s okay with you.”
He laughed, a warm and easy sound. “Between the two of us, she’s spoiled rotten and she wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He never expected to be a cat dad, but life surprised him. In fact, it also surprised him that Alpine wasn’t camping out nearby or brushing against one of your legs. She was a smart cat and likely somehow sensed that he wanted alone time with you.
“Well, she deserves it,” you winked before things went quiet.
One of the nice things about hanging out with you was that he didn't mind any bouts of silence. They didn’t feel awkward or tense. In those quiet moments and stolen glances he felt like he had the best conversations with you. He was happy and felt safe being in the same space as you.
“You know,” Bucky began as he set the ingredients on the counter. He lucked out by having a decent sized kitchen since he took up a lot of space. “If I was a better neighbor, I would've just cooked a meal for you while you relaxed.”
It felt romantic for the two of you to cook together, but you weren't together and now he felt like an idiot. A gentleman would've made you a meal and pampered you. Or take you out for a nice meal. He hadn’t dressed up, opting for his jeans and a trademark Henley while you wore a sundress that had his mind racing with both sweet and filthy images. He didn't have flowers for you either.
His “game”, as Sam would say, was rusty.
“You're a great neighbor, Bucky. The best neighbor I’ve had,” you defended. He tried to be a good neighbor and person. A minor way to make up for some of his forced wrongdoings. “And cooking something together is fun! We could even try something at my place next week if you'd like.”
Bucky almost knocked the salt over, his eyes wide. “Really?” You were inviting him over to do this again?
“Yeah, really,” you replied, taking a moment to scan the simple recipe in the cookbook. You always had the cutest expression when you concentrated on something, and he didn’t want to choose something too difficult for the first meal. “We can take turns picking things out to try and trade off cooking at your place and mine. You can even bring Alpine over if you want.”
He suddenly had the image of you in his arms, dancing around the kitchen as you both waited for a meal in the oven to cook. Soft music, low lighting, his hands on your hips, and a tender smile on your face. Stealing a gentle kiss and keeping his eyes open only for a moment so he could see for himself that it wasn't a dream.
“Yeah,” he breathed, pulling his hair back in a ponytail and washing his hands to distract himself from his thoughts. “I’d really like that.”
“Great,” you exhaled. His heart beat faster when he caught you staring. He liked to pretend the look in your eyes was longing. “Sorry. You just…” you cleared your throat and gestured to his head. “You have really nice hair.”
The compliment had his heart racing even faster. “I have nice hair?” he asked. Your fingers would feel amazing in his hair.
You ducked your head for a moment before you met his gaze with a soft smile. “Yeah, you do.”
“Thanks,” he smiled back, his shoulder brushing yours when he stood beside you. Electricity lightly cracked between you. Did you feel it, too? “Um, I peeled the carrots before you got here. Would you like to cut them?”
“Oh, I think you’re better with a knife than I am,” you giggled.
He puffed his chest out and twirled the knife he selected in his hand without thinking about it. Part of him was showing off because, well, he wanted you to stare again. “How about I help you?”
“Help me? How?” you asked.
“Here.” He placed the knife in your hand and stood behind you once he had the carrots on the cutting board. “I’m going to preface this by saying I’m far from an expert, but I usually cut them into decent sized pieces before I dice them.”
“I trust your judgement,” you said, glancing over your shoulder. Your faces were close enough that he could kiss you if he leaned in a fraction. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t take what you didn’t offer.
Carefully placing his hands over yours once you faced forward, he felt that electricity crackle again as he helped guide you. He angled his hips so he didn’t press against you, but still stayed close. “See? You’re a natural,” he whispered against your ear when you made the first cut through the vegetable.
He heard the hitch in your breath and how your blood rushed faster in your veins. He felt your skin warm under his touch as you cut the next piece. He also caught the slight tremble that went through your frame when his grip tightened, but he didn’t sense any fear. He hadn't detected any sort of fear or disgust since he came into your life.
But what he sensed in this very moment was excitement.
“Thanks, Bucky,” you whispered back. The way you spoke his name was breathy, beautiful, and he longed to hear that again. “You’re a great teacher.”
“I’m not,” he said, thankful your back was to him so you wouldn’t see the pink that tinted his cheeks. “But I appreciate it.”
“Yeah, you are,” you stated, tempting him to turn your head toward him to kiss you. If he did that and you stabbed him, he wouldn’t blame you or hold it against you. “And Bucky?”
“Yeah?”
“I really am glad you invited me over,” you said.
He stopped himself from putting his face in the crook of your neck. “I am, too,” he said, smiling to himself as he helped you finish up. “And now that you’ve mastered the carrots, we can chop the onions.”
“Onions? Oh, no,” you groaned playfully.
As the sound of both of you laughing a second later filled the room, Bucky was glad he went with his gut and asked for you two to cook together.
And maybe before the night was over, he’d ask you out on a date and prove to himself that his game wasn't completely hopeless.
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I wonder just how he'll ask you out! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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kashverse · 3 days ago
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papatoji and mamaguro reader ?
sending your husband off to work like a loving, doting wife was a crucial part of your daily routine. it was important that he felt supported before he went out to, well—commit several felonies. sure, some women sent their husbands off with a homemade bento and a kiss on the cheek. you? you handed yours a small, carefully portioned bowl of soaked almonds while cradling your half-asleep, drooling son.
because good memory was important for his line of work.
"get safe," you murmur, rocking megumi slightly as he snuggles deeper into your chest. toji, who is currently double-checking the strap of his sword, nods absentmindedly. "mm."
"stay calm."
"mm."
"come home soon."
"mm."
"i love you."
"mm."
then, you hold out the almonds. toji freezes.
ah, there it is. the momentary hesitation. the slight flicker of fear in those sharp green eyes. because for some reason, this was the part of the routine that shook him the most. not the job. not the assassinations. not even the active gunfire. no, no. it was the damn almonds.
“babe,” he starts, voice edging toward a whine. 
“toji.” your voice is firm, leaving no room for negotiation. he groans, rubbing the back of his head, “i told you, i don’t need these. my memory’s fine.”
“oh? is it?” you arch a brow. “where were you last night at exactly 1:45 a.m.?”
toji opens his mouth. closes it. narrows his eyes.
"...you put a tracker on me, didn’t you?"
you hum, bouncing megumi a little. "soaked almonds, toji."
he exhales, long and suffering, like he’s the one dealing with difficulties here. "why soaked ones?" he grumbles, but he still takes them from you, stuffing a couple into his mouth like a sullen child.
"because it helps with absorption," you say, watching to make sure he chews them properly. he sighs dramatically, munching through them with all the enthusiasm of a man eating paper. "whatever." he swallows. "happy now?"
you press a kiss to his cheek, smiling sweetly. "very."
toji, despite himself, grins. "good."
he makes it all the way to the door before you say, "oh, and—"
toji stops. turns. "what."
you tilt your head. "don't forget your protein intake today, okay? make sure to eat something healthy."
"...babe, who do you think i am, some dumbass who only eats meat and beer?"
you blink at him. slowly. his jaw clenches. "...fine."
he leaves, and you swear you hear him grumbling under his breath about how he's supposed to be the scary one in this house, damn it.
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yanderedrabbles · 2 days ago
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Yandere Days of the Week
Monday is your grouchy and uptight coworker. He's a stickler for the rules and not someone who confesses his feelings. He'll usually push his spectacles up his nose and frown at you whenever you try and do something new, no matter how simple.
"What did I say about filling out the spreadsheets by yourself? You've confused all the figures."
He'll push both you and your chair out of the way and settle himself at your desk like one messed up spreadsheet means the death of the whole company. If you ever try and thank him, he'll glare at you like you've insulted his whole bloodline.
"Tch. Just ask me next time."
If you pay attention, you might notice the blush that tinges his cheeks whenever you smile at him. You might notice the way he straightens his already perfect tie before coming over to harangue you about company dress code and your slightly-too-short skirts. (Why is he noticing your skirt length to begin with? Perv).
Luckily for him, you're usually too irritated or harassed to pay attention. His secret crush will be staying a secret for as long as he can manage.
Tuesday is your overly sweet neighbour. He introduced himself to you the second you moved in - offering you a tupperware of homecooked food because he knew exactly how overwhelming moving in could be. He's the guy you call when you need a shelf hung up or a stubborn jar opened. He'll raise his brows when you thank him, secretly pleased that you asked for his help.
"That's what neighbours are for, right?"
He doesn't mention that the previous tenants left him a spare key to your apartment. What if you get hurt one day while you're locked inside, with no one able to reach you in time? It's safer for you both if he keeps it a secret.
And if he occasionally let's himself into your apartment while you're at work, it's just to keep an eye on the place. It's what any good neighbour would do. So stop wondering what the white stains on your panties are, okay?
Wednesday is your unassuming classmate. They're the quiet kind, apt to fade into the background without meaning to.
At first, they were envious of you. Pretty, clever, friendly - you aren't the type people can easily ignore. They watch you whenever they can, desperate to somehow copy that elusive charm that makes you so special.
It doesn't work, obviously. When they try smiling like you it looks stiff and unnatural. When they copy your outfits they feel exposed, self conscious. When they try wearing the same perfume as you they break out in hives that last all week.
They can't be you. No one can.
But they aren't going to give up so easily. Maybe your luck doesn't come from clothes or hair or makeup. Maybe it's something deep inside of you, something that can be ripped out and kept for themselves.
They're going to learn what makes you so special, even if it means following you home with duct tape and chloroform.
Thursday is your favourite professor. He's the quietly confident type, the kind of man who doesn't have to shout to keep the lecture hall's attention. He's insightful and empathetic, his brown eyes always warm.
You trust him totally and completely. You don't notice when he starts resting his hand on your lower back whenever you stand next to him. You don't notice that your papers are always graded more harshly than your classmates. You don't realise he wants you, not even when he offers you private office hours despite his packed schedule.
You're a real cock tease, always looking at him with those doe eyes and pretty lips. He's a patient man - he'll have you eventually. It doesn't matter if it takes him two weeks or two years, he'll keep dropping your grades until you beg him for help.
You trust him. You really, really shouldn't.
Friday is the star athlete that everyone admires. Handsome, confident, clever. A man like that would usually invite envy, would get dirty looks thrown at his back and nasty surprises in his locker.
Not him though. Everyone loves Friday.
Well, everyone except for you. There's something about him that frightens you. Underneath his golden boy facade, there's something rotten and selfish.
You don't realise he's noticed your dislike until he corners you after class one day. He wraps one hand around your wrist as everyone files out of the lecture hall, too eager for the weekend to notice the slightly panicked look on your face.
"Listen, I hate to think I've done something to offend you. If I have, just tell me now and we can sort it out," he tells you, blue eyes cold and distant despite his pretty boy smile.
You tug at your wrist but his grip is unbreakable. He isn't hurting you, but his strength keeps you right where he wants you.
"We barely even know each other," you say, your eyes jumping to the door and the suddenly empty corridors. "I don't have any issue with you."
"That's a lie and we both know it. I don't want to push you, but I'm not letting you go until I know what I've done."
You finally meet his eyes. "You have it too easy in life. You get everything you want. I don't hate you. But I don't like you either."
His expression is a careful blank. "I'm not going to apologise for what I have or for what I've been given."
You tug at your wrist again and he finally let's you go.
"I don't expect you to," you mutter as you swing your bag over your shoulder and hurry out the door.
He watches you leave and inside him some selfish, possessive creature lifts its head and growls. You should have known - when a man with everything he could ever want is shown something he can't have, that just makes him want it all the more.
"Gonna make her mine," he says to the empty classroom. A promise or a threat, even he can't be sure.
Saturday is a party girl. The kind of bombshell who wears a tiny metallic bikini, a cowboy hat and absolutely nothing else to a rave.
She knows every kind of cocktail and every kind of fun time pill. She's shamelessly cocky and shamelessly outgoing. When you run into her at a concert, she'll get you all the way to the stage no matter how packed the crowds are. 
You'd think a girl like that would know all about boundaries and consent and you'd be right. The thing is, she ignores it just as easily as she ignores speed limits and DUI citations.
She'll kiss you when you're too drunk to say no. She'll give you pills that she knows you can't handle just to take you home. She'll ignore you when you try and push her away, weak and intoxicated and too woozy to form a full sentence.
And the worst part? She knows you won't report her. Girls can get drunk and touchy without it ever being called a crime.
She'll run her hands up your thighs and nip your neck and tell you she loves you. But she's always long gone by morning.
She's just a girl, your honour. And she'll use that excuse as many times as she needs to.
Sunday is your local barista. He's an artist on the side, the kind of creative soul who can't express himself without the help of charcoal and acrylic.
He's too stoic to ever work the cash register or take orders, but he somehow always ends up there when you're in line.
He usually sneaks an extra sweet treat into your order. And if he has the time, he'll usually leave a little doodle on your receipt.
He hasn't spoken to you much, but he can feel the red thread of fate tugging you closer everyday. You're soulmates, lovers meant to be, fated by heaven and all its angels.
It doesn't matter how long it takes, you'll be his eventually. He can read it in the stars.
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liabugs · 2 days ago
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how do you think the boys would be with an mc who's like deathly scared of sex, like she wants it but is so terribly frightened of it :( like she can cuddle and kiss them but she gets scared when things get sexual :(
I have so many asks in my inbox but this one caught my eye :3
This took kinda a dark turn in zayne's + Caleb's so tw for dubcon/noncon, not proof read
CW: fam!reader (she/her pronouns used) male masturbation, making out, pantie stealing (?) baby trapping, use if 'gege' (Caleb's) let me know if I missed any 🩷
Dividers by @/v6que and @/anitalenia!!
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Xavier — ୨୧
Xavier would never force you into doing anything that you're not comfortable with. He wouldn't be pushy at all. When you're ready, he's ready. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get blue balls when you make out with him :(
Your lips moving perfectly against his, his tongue caressing yours... His hands on your hips.. But it's all gone when he starts to lose his resolve and grinds his hips against yours. You pull away, Xavier mentally cursing himself for getting ahead of himself and ruining the moment.
So when he leaves your place somewhere around 10:30 pm after finishing a movie, the moment he steps into his apartment he rushes to his room to relieve himself.
He thinks about how your cunt would feel wrapped around his length, so warm and tight. Pumping his cock in his fist, pre cum seeping from his slit. He can't help but cum moaning your name.
Rafayel — ୨୧
Rafayel can be needier than most, but he always puts your comfort before his. He loves you to the point where just having your presence around him is enough to satisfy him.
So the first time you get intimate with him is very cute! Playfulness and teasing all around. Rafayel takes a more wholesome approach to things, making sure to praise you the way you deserve.
Feather light kisses, giggling and other wholesome things to lighten up the mood. Because there's one thing Rafayel doesn't want you feeling when being intimate with him, that being scared.
Zayne — ୨୧
Zayne is totally fine with you not being comfortable being intimate with him. He's a busy guy, so chased kiesses and cute dates work fine. At least that's what you see on the outside.
On the inside, he is raging with sexual frustration. He does a good job of hiding it though, taking cold showers to get rid of his sexual tension. It gets to a point where cold showers aren't cutting it anymore.
And before he knows it, he's using the spare key to you apartment. He's going through your underwear drawer, he tries to rationalize his actions. But the way you cute black lace panties feel around his cock overpowers any sanity he has left.
And if you found out? Could you really blame him? You make it hard not to loose control of his usually composed demeanor.
Sylus — ୨୧
Sylus is nothing if not patent. The time will come when you will get over your fears, the time will come when you crave him in every way he craves you.
And when that time comes, you will share the same longing Sylus has felt for lifetimes. Sylus is nothing if not gentle. Slow, soft and sensual. His hands moving all over your body, his lips fitting perfectly with yours.
He loves the way you look at him, unsure, hesitant... He loves when your face contorts in pleasure, when you realize that there was nothing to be fearful of. He loves when you depend on him for pleasure, because he's the only one you can make you feel good.
He's the only one who can make you see stars when you give him your everything.
Caleb — ୨୧
Caleb knows your scared, it's okay, he only wants the best for you. And the best thing for you is to go dumb on his cock and take his seed. Let him knock you up, he knows it's scary. But when he fucks his baby into you, everything will be okay, you'll be safe.
He'll make sure of it, you trust him right? His pipsqueak trusts her gege to make the right choice for her? Ssh ssh it's okay I know baby, just take it... Just focus on how good it feels. As he pumps his hot load into you, tears streaming down your face.
He would kiss your tears away and tell you how good you were for him, he would apologize for hurting you... He was just doing what's in your best interest, you can forgive him right?
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twisting-echo · 12 hours ago
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Oh my goodness! They all look so good in each other's outfits! It fits that Ariel would lose the glass slipper because she's still getting used to having human feet for the prince's ball! Cinderella in Tiana's wedding dress is an interesting parallel because I always thought the blue dress Tiana wore at Charlotte's costume party was a nod to Cinderella.
Also, Cinderella dressing Naveen up in Jaq's clothes and Naveen raising his eyebrow at her in confusion—LOVE IT! I ship them now! Tiana baking cakes with Olaf is so darn adorable, not to mention how fiiiine she looks in Elsa's dress! Dare I say something boldly taboo like Tiana wears it better?
And here we go. Everyone who knows me knows that Belle and Snow White are my favorite princesses of all time! She looks amazing in Belle's dress! You guys probably already know I ship Snow White and Beast, so this is just shipping fuel for me, lol. Oooh, that suave and charming candelabra Lumiere can't hide his weaknesses for beautiful women by the way he elegantly takes Snow White's hand and gently kisses it with his brass lips, all while Snow White and Beast exchange perplexed looks at each other. God, I love it!
Okay, I was pleasantly thrown by this one! The first thing I noticed wasn't how good Aurora looks in Jasmine's outfit, no, but the way Aurora and Genie are looking at each other. I mean, I'm not the only one who sees it, right? There are sparks flying between those two!
Pocahontas in Rapunzel's dress! Oh my gosh, yes! Purple is a great color on her! Awwww, Pascal would adore her! Also, how is she going to leave that tower? I know her hair is long, but it's not 70 feet long! Well, I'm sure the wind can help her down.
Awww, Jasmine in Snow White's dress, and she's pulling it off! Also, the little bird resting on her hand is a nice nod to the little bird she cuddled with in her movie when she told her father that she wanted to marry for love. Lastly, the bow! She looks so pretty with that bow. I don't know how much more I can take of this, you guys. I am losing my gosh dang mind right now! We have 6 more princesses to go! 😭
Yeeesss! Merida riding a horse and wielding a sword are her favorite things! Plus, I ship Brave Warrior, so this is just some more shipping fuel for me.
(Gasps) Belle looks stunning in Aurora's periwinkle/blue dress! Oh, I love it! She has to be the beauty somewhere, if she's not with the beast, so falling asleep while reading it is!
Mulan drawing a bow in the moors of Scotland? Again, shipping fuel! Oh, my gosh, I love this! Elsa's fins look like a snowflake, and she's freezing Ursula's tentacles like, "Begone, THOT! You can't have my sister's voice!"
And finally, Rapunzel in Pocahontas' outfit sitting under the willows of Grandmother Willow while Meeko and Flit help braid her hair? Perfection! She'd love running around in the forest and jumping off cliffs! I can literally see her painting the colors of the wind!
Great job, OP!
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Here are all 12 pieces from my E! News exclusive illustration series!!!
I’m super happy with how each piece turned out and that each character has managed to stay themselves despite being thrown into new surroundings and costumes. (My inner feminist wouldn’t allow Merida or Mulan to have their weapons taken away lol) Pocahontas still loves animals, Cinderella is still dressing tiny creatures, Tiana is cooking, and Belle fell asleep reading! I hope you enjoy the princesses you know and love, with a twist!
Check out my page for process work and phone backgrounds!
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captain-huggy-bear · 2 days ago
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Morning Sickness
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Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of sex in the past, pregnancy, etc.
Summary: Quinn is getting increasingly worried about you as you're sick every morning and every evening, you're adamant that you're fine. Turns out you're right in a way.
Notes: Thanks to the person who sent this idea in :)
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
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It starts around a month after your honeymoon. Every single morning Quinn wakes to the sound of you throwing up and every single night he holds your hair back as you're sick over the toilet.
You pass it off as a bad stomach bug or anxiety, something different every time but Quinn doesn't believe you nor does he like what's happening. He's had many health scares with you; the chest infection that led to you being hospitalised after you nearly passed out at work being a prime example. As a result, he knows better than to assume that when you say you're fine, you're actually fine. Instead he sits with a heavy buzz of anxiety in his chest, a fear that something is seriously wrong but not knowing what and not knowing how best to convince you to get a check up and see the doctor about it. You’re stubborn to a fault. 
It's another one of those evenings where he's happily curled around in bed, blankets tucked in around both of you. You're in his arms, back to his chest, legs twisted together so that any movement jars the other, but you're so used to it at this point that sleeping apart is more difficult and less restful than navigating the tangled mass of limbs that the two of you become each night.
When you try to slip out of his arms he's awake like a shot, blinking through bleary eyes while you push his arms off you so that you can get up. Quinn lets you go, an instant release but he's quick to follow, footsteps padding on the carpet after you towards the bright light of the bathroom. Never once considering rolling over and going back to sleep.
"You okay, baby?" You're leaning over the sink, taking deep breaths, cheeks puffing out as you try your very best to not be sick again, nausea roiling through you. You’re so fed up of being sick, it’s become a routine that’s led to you being careful about what foods you eat in the morning and evening, learning what is the worst to throw up and what’s the least offensive thing to throw up.
All you can do is shake your head frantically before you're rushing to the toilet, knees hitting the floor with a loud thud as you lean over the toilet bowl to be sick. Quinn winces at the sound of your knees impacting tile and he's beside you in an instant, hands reaching for your hair to pull it back and out of your face so you don't have to worry about throwing up in your own hair.
"Oh, baby...just let it out..." A warm, free hand landing on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he feels the way your body jerks with each bout of sickness, your muscles contracting and relaxing each time. 
You’re crying, he can hear it, the way you whimper and whine because this is the worst and you’re fed up with being so violently sick…It only increases his worry because this has been going on for too long and it just doesn’t seem to be getting any better. 
He stays beside you, holding your hair and rubbing your back until you’re no longer vomiting. When you stop, cheek resting against the toilet seat in exhaustion he’s up and reaching for a glass to fill with water for you.
“Here, baby, have some water…” You take a mouthful only to spit it out in the toilet in an attempt to get the taste of vomit from your mouth, before downing the whole glass. It doesn’t really help much.
“I hate this…” You groan out, feeling silly because it’s not even like you feel ill most of the time, you just keep getting these random bouts of sickness in the mornings and evenings. Quinn shouldn’t be as worried as you know he is…it’s probably all in your head, maybe you’ve created a Pavolvian response to the morning and night time where your body expects to be sick, so you are?
“I know, baby…” Quinn runs a hand over your hair, pushing a few strands out of your face and behind your ear, he’s gentle about it, long fingers gingerly caressing your skin like he’s worried you’ll break, “You need to visit a doctor, baby.”
“It’s probably nothing, Quinn…I’ve just eaten something or have some sort of bug or something…” You don’t want to go to the doctors, you’re certain this will blow over soon, that it’s nothing serious and you hate the idea of taking more time off for it even as your husband looks at you like you might be the most stubborn human being on earth. 
“For weeks?”
“Quinn…” You sigh out his name because you don’t want to argue, because you’re tired. All you want is to go back to bed, curl up in his arms and get what little sleep you can before you have to go to work in the morning.
He must see how tired you are because whatever fight he had seems to leave his body, shoulders slumping, head nodding to himself like he’s made a decision in his mind to put this down for the moment even if he wants to keep going, repeat himself until you give in.
“Okay…okay, let’s get you to bed at least…” He gives up arguing because you’re so tired and have to be up at 6am for work. It’s bad enough you're not feeling well, let alone that you have to still teach like this, adding exhaustion to the mix is just a bad idea. He’ll keep pushing until you go to the doctors, but right now? Right now he can see you're tired and sleep is probably better for you than arguing at 1am. 
Quinn helps you to your feet, your hands resting in his much larger ones while he pulls you up. He keeps both hands on your hips the whole time as the two of you waddle your way back to bed, there’s part of him that worries you might fall or faint on the way back to bed, hands firmly gripping you just in case. 
He curls around you once you're both back under the covers, almost protective like he’s trying to shield you from some unseen threat and you nestle back into him, resting your head on the arm underneath you. 
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The early morning throw up session had you completely wiped hours later, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that you felt dizzy as the day went on. Even more so because food was just not enticing you and you had skipped lunch when your sandwich made you feel queasy just looking at it. Each lesson felt harder and harder to teach and your last lesson of the day had your head reeling. It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise with how dizzy you felt, how lightheaded you were, that you fainted completely in front of your students. Thankfully, you had felt it coming on, having lowered yourself to the ground mere seconds before it happened.
To give them their dues, your students who could have used that as an opportunity to cause a mess, do whatever they wanted and generally cause chaos, actually tried to help. They were so concerned for you that they got another member of staff to come help, David, your favourite trouble making hockey fan, put his rolled up Canucks hoodie underneath your head and Stacy checked you were still breathing. The fainting spell didn’t last long, within a minute or so you were back to consciousness and trying to sit up, staff and students trying to force you to lay back down. 
It’s Laura, the English teacher next door, who grabs your phone and calls your emergency contact, Quinn…even as you protest and tell her not to bother him, that you’re fine. All your protests go ignored by the forty year old, who had become something of a mentor and parental figure during your time at the school.
“Hi Quinn, sorry, it’s Laura from Y/N’s school?” You can’t quite tell what Quinn says on the other line, but you’re sure it’s along the lines of ‘what’s wrong?’ in a panicked tone because no one ever used your phone. You hate worrying him, he has so much on his shoulders already, so much weight there from the team, the season, his brothers…
“She’s fainted, do you think you could come get her? It’s the end of the school day anyway but I don’t think she should be driving home…thanks, Quinn.” 
You groan at her, tempted to tell her off for calling him against your wishes but you know she means well…you also know there’s absolutely no chance you’re getting away with avoiding the doctors now. In fact you wouldn’t be surprised if he drove you straight to the doctor's office after coming to get you…still, maybe you should see a doctor, what with throwing up all the time…and now fainting? 
Laura won’t even let you get up from your spot on the floor, packing your things away for you, getting your students to chill for the last 10 minutes of the day and waiting until Quinn arrives. You know she’s worried you’ll faint again, but it feels ridiculous, sitting on a cold, dirty classroom floor waiting for your husband to come get you.
“Hey, baby…” The way he stands in the doorway to your classroom when he finally arrives makes you want to cry. It’s like he’s scared you’re going to faint again, a sense of hesitancy and caution in his body language that you hate because Quinn is never like that around you. 
“Please don’t…don’t be scared of me, right now…” You feel like crying, wetness starting to fill your eyes and your voice coming out choked. You’re not even sure why you’re so emotional about him looking like that when Quinn’s always worried about you, it’s not a new development. He cares so he worries. 
“Hey, hey, I’m not scared of you…I’m worried, baby.” He’s crossing the space between you as quickly as possible, crouching down next to you with care, hands reaching for your face gently to rub his fingers across your cheeks to try and calm you down.
“I’m sorry…I don’t mean to be a bother…” Your eyes are so watery that Quinn’s face is a blurry mess, but even then you wouldn’t be able to mistake the serious set of his brow, the way his jaw clenches, how he always takes your concerns and worries seriously.
“Sweet girl, hey…you’re not a bother. You’re never a chore, okay? But I'm going to need you to accept that we need to go to the doctor's now, okay? I’ve already phoned them, they can see us in forty minutes.” You can’t really deny him, he’s been so patient with you, worried, but not pushing you to go to the doctors too much and you know he’s right…something’s not normal right now and you need to get checked out.
“Okay…” The smile he gives you is radiant, relief filled and bright like your answer is enough to make his day. It makes it worth it.
“Atta girl, right, let’s get you up off this floor, okay?” 
You nod at him, reaching for his outstretched hands and letting him grip yours tightly, your wedding rings gleaming and new under the fluorescence of the classroom lights. As Quinn stands he pulls you with him, helping you to your feet and holding you steady when you get a bit of a headrush from the sudden upright position.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, i’m good,” He doesn’t quite look like he believes you, “I promise, i’ll let you know if i’m not.”
He’s got an eye on you the entire way to his car, always watching in case you suddenly faint or trip or take a dive to the ground. You don’t, your dizzy spell has passed and now you just feel emotional and embarrassed about the whole thing. 
As is routine by now Quinn opens the car door for you and buckles your seatbelt, making sure it rests comfortably against you and isn’t digging into you at all. He goes a step further than normal though, reaching into the backseat to grab a blanket he keeps there for when you get cold, laying it over your lap and tucking it under your thighs like he’s worried you’ll get cold on the drive to the doctors. 
Quinn leans forward into the car, pressing a kiss to your forehead gently causing you to close your eyes, letting out a happy sigh. He lingers slightly, hand smoothing down some of your fly away hairs before he shuts the passenger side door and gets into the driver's seat. 
There’s a heavy silence that settles over the two of you while Quinn starts the drive to the doctor’s office. It’s a silence that screams that Quinn has things he wants to say, words he’s holding inside him right now and you wait patiently for him to break. 
It doesn’t take long, a few minutes pass before he’s watching you from the corner of his eye, “You need to start trusting me to handle knowing when something is wrong…” He sighs out at you, and you try not to cut him off, biting on your lip to force yourself to listen until he’s said what he needs to say. “I know you’re scared of being a burden and putting more stress on me, but, baby…I’m your husband. I need to know. I want to know. My job is to support you. I can’t do that if you’re not letting me in…” He reaches a hand across to squeeze your leg, an attempt to reassure you that he’s not mad, but that he wants you to trust him more and you get it…you do. You’ve been so reluctant to put any more stress on him, but here’s Quinn demanding that you do, telling you he wants to know when things aren’t quite right.
“I just…you have all this pressure on you and I don’t want to add to that.”
“Baby, the only stress you’re giving me is when you don’t let me help you…I need you to promise me you’re going to start relying on me more, please?” He can’t take it anymore. The way you try to hide how you’re doing, try to take all that onto yourself so that he doesn't get any of the pressure. You’re the only pressure he wants, fuck hockey, fuck the season, but he needs to know what’s wrong with you so he can fix it, so he can help you.
You reach for his hand on your leg, twisting your fingers in his and holding his hand tight, watching him glance at you out of the corner of his eye, focusing on the road for the most part. 
“I promise.” 
Quinn’s shoulders drop in relief, his need to support and protect you, to look after you already feeling better now that you’ve promised you’ll actually communicate with him properly. He loves you, but your fear of being a burden is his least favourite thing about you. He hates that people have made you feel like you have to minimise yourself, your problems. Hates that you’ve been trained to be so hyper independent and self reliant. 
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“Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
You blink at the doctor like she’s insane because the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind that that was a possibility, that maybe you were pregnant.
“Uh, no…”
“Have you been using protection? Is it possible you’re pregnant?” You try to think back to your last period, late, try to think back to the last time Quinn and yourself had unprotected sex…your honeymoon. So over the moon, so giddy the two of you hadn’t really thought about it, forgoing the usual precautions because you were married now so it didn’t seem like such a big deal. 
You look at Quinn, the two of you sharing a look that says you’re both thinking back to your honeymoon, the two weeks of being absolutely feral for each other that you really didn’t think much about the consequences…well, you did, in a sense. Quinn had had a great time considering what you’d look like pregnant with his child, dirty talk filled with comments about getting you pregnant, but it had all been fantasies, silly in the moment dirty talk, neither of you had really considered (rather stupidly perhaps) that it might become a reality. You hadn’t thought…normally it wasn’t that easy for people and you’d always had concerns about fertility in your family in the past so why would it be that easy for you? 
“It’s…it’s possible.”
“Okay, I want you to go take this test and come back when you’re done. I think you might just be experiencing some really bad first trimester morning sickness.” You take the test offered to you, the little pee cup and pipette too, glad that she wasn’t expecting you to pee directly onto the stick…
“Do you want me to wait outside the door?” Quinn asks as you hesitantly get up, not really wanting to go alone, as silly as it was because all you were about to do was pee into a little cup and put some drops onto a pregnancy test, it wasn’t like you were going to do anything crazy. But, you’d never had to take a pregnancy test before, you’d never had to deal with the reality that you might be pregnant and even if it's with your literal husband it’s still kind of scary...
“Yes, please…” He’s reaching for your hand without any hesitation, guiding you out of the examination room and towards the toilets. 
You hesitate before entering, scared to find out the answer, unsure which you want to be true; that you’re pregnant or that there’s something else causing you to be sick and faint. You want kids, both of you have discussed it time and time again, but you always thought it would be planned, that the two of you would be actively trying when you got pregnant. 
“It’ll be okay, y’know? No matter what. If you’re not pregnant we’ll figure out what’s wrong and if you are? That’s a good thing, we wanted kids, baby.” Quinn can see you’re scared, the way you grip the test tighter, how you seem to stop breathing as you stare at the bathroom door. He’s trying to not get his hopes up, to temper some of the excitement he can feel because he really…fuck, he really hopes you’re pregnant, he’s so ready to be a dad, and it would be an added bonus to know you weren’t seriously ill, just dealing with the first trimester. 
“Yeah, just…wasn’t expecting it to potentially be this soon.”
“I know, baby, but it’ll be okay and mom’ll be over the moon.” You smile at the mention of Ellen, how excited she’ll be…heck Jack and Luke would be ecstatic to be uncles, suddenly things didn’t seem quite so scary when you considered the people around you, how supportive they would be.
“Yeah, she’ll probably scream down the phone…” If you’re pregnant goes unsaid but it’s there, the reality that maybe you’re both starting to get your hopes up for something that isn’t going to happen. 
“Okay…I can do this.”
“You’ve got this, baby…it’ll be okay,” He smiles at you one last time before you disappear into the bathroom.
Your hands shake the entire time you’re in there, completing the test and putting it on the side to wait. You pacing a hole into the floor, back and forth, back and forth as the time ticks down on your phone. In that time you start to get excited, nervous, but excited. The initial shock of potentially being pregnant disappearing in favour of thoughts about what it would be like to finally have your first child with Quinn…how he’d teach them to skate, how Luke and Jack would play with them at the lake house in the summer, how Ellen and Jim would be devoted grandparents, how you’d read them books every night and make your own Christmas traditions… Your nerves now centred on that possibility that you weren’t pregnant, that your hopes might be crushed.
You couldn’t bring yourself to look when the time was up, reaching for the door handle to Quinn pacing outside the door. His head shoots up the moment you open it.
“So?” Quinn looks so expectant, lips bitten and red from all his worrying, waiting for an answer. 
“I…I can’t look, can you check it for me?”
“Uh, yeah, course, baby.” You can tell he’s nervous too, but he steps inside the bathroom, locking it behind the two of you for privacy. You point to where the little, but no less life altering, test rests by the sink. 
You watch him walk over, watch the tension in his shoulders, how he looks at the little test, seems to read the marks, and then again, and again like he’s struggling to process it. You know the answer the moment his shoulders relax, the moment he turns to you with tears in his eyes and a wide smile, so wide across his face. He’s practically grinning, vibrant in the way he is after a won game or how he was at your wedding. The sort of vibrant that changes Quinn, his usually understated calmness wiped out in favour of pure unfiltered joy. 
“We’re…we’re having a baby…” Saying it feels unreal at first, that those two little lines can mean so much, that right now, in your tummy is your baby. The perfect mix of the two of you slowly growing into someone amazing, someone he’s so excited to meet. 
“Yeah?” You can feel your own excitement starting, hearing it is making it real, so fucking real. 
“Yeah, baby!” You’re crying, he’s crying, it’s a mess when you come together in a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around you and lifting you off the floor to spin you around. You’re both crying into each other when his mouth slants over yours for a kiss, one of his hands cupping the back of your head, the other resting gently over your throat.
It’s a kiss that feels monumental, deep and filled with love, so much love that the taste of the salt from your tears does nothing to deter either of you as you cling to each other. The scratch of Quinn’s beard, the silky smoothness of his hair in your fingers, the way you cling to each other, you’ve not felt that happy since your wedding day, since you both finally said I do. It feels like the world has shifted on its axis in the most spectacular of ways and all that worry, all that fear is gone, just like that. 
He’s so fucking relieved, that’s part of it. God, is he excited that you’re pregnant, that he’s going to be a dad, but part of the excitement is relief, that you’re okay, that you’re not seriously ill. You’re just pregnant, just dealing with morning sickness and all the changes associated with growing a baby. 
When you pull apart neither of you go very far, foreheads pressed together, noses nuzzling against each other. His hands still cradle you close to him, his breath warm against your lips.
“We’re going to be parents…you’re going to be a mom…” There’s something about him saying it that makes it feel more real because it feels almost out of body of an experience, to find out you're pregnant when you had no plans to be. 
“Yeah…you’re going to be a dad…”
“Fuck, I love you…” Quinn kisses you again, soft but lingering as a hand comes down to rest against your belly, no sign yet of the bundle of cells that’s growing into a baby, “and I love this little bean too,”
“I love you too, you’re going to be so great, they’re going to love you.”
“They’re going to love us.”
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kiragecko · 1 day ago
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I decided to do this for the Batfamily. (Preboot version, because I disagree with DC's modern decisions.)
If the Batfam were queer, how would they talk about it?
Dick - awkward and tentative. No clue when he picked up the terminology he's using, but it's probably pretty general/balanced¹. He's not going to be using microlabels, but may have done a reasonable amount of research on whatever term he's accepted. Possibly the most ashamed out of everyone? Look, people haven't been very gentle with him about his romantic, sexual, or personal choices. And he's internalized that. I could see him EVENTUALLY being comfortably open about his identity, but that would be a long journey.
Babs - only talks to romantic partners, if she can help it. Clinical. Probably also prickly. Maybe dismissive. More focused on how it will affect their relationship than on how it affects her, or on specific terms. But also the most likely to explain the split attraction model, or pull up a graph? Possibly she'd shift tactics based on what her partner was comfortable with. Probably it would be to tactics her partner was LESS comfortable with? Babs, make things easier for yourself!
Jason - What flavour of fanon are we using here? Or canon? Using slurs that the people he grew up used for themselves could be accurate. Reading up on all the latest terminology so he can support the street kids seems in character for some versions. (He sounds like he's reading from a brochure, but like he's a counsellor reading from a brochure for your benefit!) Not having thought about it at all because he's been 'somewhat' distracted for most of his life seems VERY likely! Jason contains multitudes.
Tim - avoiding this conversation at all costs. Refuses to use labels. Might describe his experience, awkwardly, if he needed to, but would get distressed if you tried to give it a name. He might be able to accept BEING some flavour of queer, but openly talking about it in ways people can use against him? That might affect social standing and job opportunities? That might disappoint authority figures? No. Most likely to use a fake identity to explore. Has almost certainly done all the research, KNOWS current terminology, and will use it for other people. Just don't suggest he applies it to himself.
Steph - Would probably get extremely attached to language when first accepting it. Maybe to the point of policing things a bit. Because she's defensive and has spent her whole life being policed and judged! MIGHT sound like she was reading out of a college brochure. Possibly DID read it out of a college brochure!
Cass - summarizes complex topics into a 2 or 3 word sentence, and if you aren't following along, that's on YOU. Might like listening to someone else explain their extremely nuanced identity. Might be impatient. It's a toss-up, depending on how obvious she thinks things are, how much you seem to be overcomplicating it, and how much she's picking up from HOW you're saying it. I hope she figures herself out before she learns TOO much terminology, because later Cass respected words a bit too highly, and I want her to be able to understand the fluidity of self without thinking it NEEDS boxes.
Damian - okay, preteen Damian doesn't WANT to know about any of this, thank you. Many preteens do! Damian does not. Damian wants to join in on every rape and hate crime investigation, and also thinks kissing is gross. Wrangling and protecting Damian is a challenge. Older Damian would probably use microlabels, if any applied. (And he felt safe saying anything.) Accuracy is always to be desired! Also, they fit his worldview of exceptionality and isolation.
Duke - I think he'd be pretty comfortable with general, broadly understood, terminology. But he might struggle if that stuff didn't fit. Feeling compelled to explain the nuances of self seems like something he'd find really uncomfortable? So I can see him casually talking about himself if it was easy to talk about, but struggling to be open otherwise. Also, he might get pretty stuck on not being SURE about his identity. How can he talk about it if he might be wrong?? (Tim and Dick might struggle in a similar way, but it would be less obvious because of their other issues.)
Bruce - Extremely likely to used old-fashioned or clinical language, especially if it lets him sound like he's reading out of a psychology text-book. Most likely to accept the language without internalizing the identity. (It might be accurate, but that doesn't mean he needs to ACT on it.) Also most likely to have accept-ED some term 25 years ago and then just never brought it up again or acknowledged it in any way.
Alfred - wouldn't talk about it at all. Relationships are private. If it was important to do so, would use euphemisms like 'close to', 'cared for', 'did a small amount of exploration', etc.
-
¹ I kind of think of modern queer identities coming in 3 broad categories:
general - uses language like 'queer', 'LGBT', 'nonbinary' - commonly understood umbrella terms. Prioritizes fluidity of identity and connection with community over precise description
balanced - prioritizes connection with people of similar experiences, uses broad subcategories like 'gay', and 'trans', or combines broad terms together to suggest more precision, like 'nonbinary lesbian'.
microlabels - breaks down identities into more precise subsets like 'greyace', 'fem-aligned androgyne', 'genderfae', etc. Precise understanding of self prioritized over other people's understanding or connection.
'Microlabels' as shorthand is often used to mock people, so I thought it helpful to explain where I'm coming from.
he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure
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golden-cherry · 2 days ago
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deal - cl16 (49/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: Climbing up the mountain can be very freeing.
Warnings: angst (self-doubt, insecurities, mentions of abuse in a relationship, Charles is very insecure about himself), the end is a bit fluffy, but don't expect too much
Word Count: 4.1k
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A/N: I feel like this describes Charles well. I cried when writing this chapter. I hope you like it. feedback is appreciated.
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It is the first time in years that Charles has no desire to climb the mountain on those stupid skis. 
His feet hurt, he is cold even though the jacket he is wearing is suitable for even colder temperatures, and his hands are so stiff from the frigid air that they painfully curl around his ski poles. 
The snow blinds him because of the bright sun, his bones feel heavy, somehow his mouth is so dry that he would like to rinse it with water every five meters.
But maybe that's just because he'd rather be at home in Monaco. Because that's where you are. And there is no place he would rather be right now. 
Closing the door behind him and leaving you alone in the apartment was incredibly difficult. He would have loved to put you in his bag and take you with him, but you would only have distracted him from training. 
And if he wants to be world champion one day, he can't afford to make any mistakes. 
It's been two days since he's seen you and heard your voice. In the morning, when he wakes up and gets ready for the day, you are still fast asleep, and during his training, Andrea has his phone so that Charles can collect his thoughts and stay focused. Only in the evening, when Charles is in bed, he manages to text you a few messages before falling asleep, cell phone in hand, completely exhausted. 
He misses you every second. 
Before he met you, he would never have imagined that he could miss someone he had only known for a few days so much. He had missed Annika from time to time, after all, he had definitely loved her at some point, but he had never longed for her or anyone else the way he did for you now. 
As soon as he has a moment to himself, whether it's in the shower or on the toilet or when Andrea isn't bothering him with calories or carbohydrates or protein for a moment, he misses you so much that he can almost feel the physical distance between you. 
But most of all, he misses you in the morning when he wakes up. When he is in that one second when he is neither sleeping nor fully awake. Snuggled up warm in the blanket and against the pillow, where in the evening he imagines it would be your body that he is snuggling up to. And in the morning, for a brief moment, it feels as if you are actually lying next to him, which is why the second he realizes that you are miles away from him hurts the most. 
“Are you okay?” Andrea asks, who has slowed down a little to run up the hill next to Charles. ”You're suspiciously quiet.”
Charles, who hasn't realized that he has slowed down at all, looks at his trainer in confusion. “Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?”
Andrea shrugs. ”Usually you're chattering away at me during training. That usually helps you to distract yourself from how exhausting it is.”
He has a point there. Charles pushes himself forward on his skis. “I don't know. This time I don't feel like you're torturing me up this mountain. It's still the same route we usually take, isn't it?” He looks around as if he can recognize the surroundings. 
Andrea raises his eyebrows and also picks up the pace. ‘We're in a completely different area, Charles.’ He points to another mountain with his gloved hand.
If his friend hadn't told him, the man from Monaco would never have noticed, so absorbed is he in his thoughts about you. The mountain Andrea is pointing to seems more familiar to him than the one in front of them. And a lot smaller. If they had taken the familiar route, they would have been at the summit long ago. 
“You asshole,” Charles curses and wipes his face. ‘Why did you choose a different mountain? And especially one that's higher?”
Andrea can't help but grin. ’You came in second in the championship this year. I'm hoping that if we increase your training, you'll come in first next season and...”
“And what?” Charles interrupts his trainer. "The whole thing is useless if my strategists and the whole team mess up so much during the race. I can train as much as I want. It won't work." He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't notice how quickly he pushes himself up the mountain on his skis. 
“Charles –”
“No, Andrea. This whole thing cost me the title. Wrong tires? Last-minute changes in the pit? What the hell?” he gets worked up. He knows that his anger is unfairly directed at the wrong person, after all Andrea is only there for Charles's well-being and not for what happens on the track, but it just comes spilling out. And he can't stop it. 
His ski poles dig deep into the white snow, which Charles barely notices. He only sees the summit in front of him and hears Andrea breathing loudly next to him as he continues to complain. 
“It's not right that I come in second because of such little things! If I had caused accidents, then at least it would have been my fault and I could have dealt with it more easily,” he says, annoyed. ”But what kind of stupid plans were these, anyway? Even a toddler could come up with a better strategy!”
Andrea, who knows full well that Charles needs to vent his anger, walks quietly beside him and lets the storm pass over him. It's not often that Charles gets this angry. And normally he blames himself, but he certainly doesn't take such serious mistakes on his head. 
Charles knows that making mistakes is an inevitable part of competition, and sometimes, they're the difference between standing at the top of the podium and finishing second. Being the runner-up in a championship can feel bittersweet – so close to victory, yet just short of it. 
Being second in the championship feels like a mix of pride and frustration. On one hand, Charles has achieved something incredible – outperforming almost everyone, proving his skill and showing that he deserves to sit in the red car with the horse on it. But on the other hand, there's that lingering thought inside of his head – he was so close. The tiniest mistakes, the small miscalculations in his strategies, or someone else having a slightly better day made the difference in the end. 
There's this ache inside of him, knowing he was almost the champion. The podium felt different when he looked up at Max Verstappen holding the trophy he desperately craved. Charles felt a lot of things in that moment – disappointment, regret and even anger – at himself, the situation, the team and at the margin that kept him from winning. 
“I could have won the title. Max will definitely win the next season too, as strong as Red Bull is. How will I ever live up to my reputation then?” He clenches his jaw. ”I feel like I'm stuck with what I'm doing now. And I'm doing my best, Andrea. I really am. But it's apparently not enough. Do you know how incredibly frustrating that is?”
Being second carries a unique weight – a strange middle ground between triumph and heartbreak. And hell, Charles heart broke with every race that put more distance between his and Max's points. He feels like a failure, like he failed his team, his family and friends. He failed his fans, that support him through every decision he makes on and off track, that defend him whenever he makes a mistake during races. 
And it haunts him. What if he had pushed just a little harder, made one less mistake, reacted a second faster? What if he made a different decision that would've outweighed the mistakes his team made? What if he became world champion in the famous red car he worked so hard to get into? The famous red car that his dad loved so much?
Disappointing his dad was the worst part of it all. It was a different kind of pain, heavy and crushing. It's not just about failing at something – Charles feels like he simply isn't good enough. Like he let someone down who believed in him. He could have been champion this year – he was so close to standing on top of the podium. What if he never gets this close to winning? What if he never holds the big trophy in his hands, dedicating it to his dad, who always wanted to see him drive in the Ferrari?
Charles' anger has been building up for so long that he doesn't know where to put it. If only he had concentrated more on the season and hadn't been so distracted by his personal problems - 
“And Annika. What a waste of time the whole thing was. I should never have gotten involved with her. I should have ended the relationship when I realized that she wasn't the one. When I realized that I couldn't give her the attention that a healthy relationship requires.”
Charles would never admit it, but Annika’s betrayal in their relationship cut deeper than expected. It’s not just about broken promises – it’s about broken trust, the foundation of any meaningful connection. It shook everything Charles believed to be true about Annika – or love in general. 
The worst part wasn’t the act itself or that he caught them right in the act, but the realization that someone he trusted with his heart made the choice to hurt him. After the break-up he questioned everything – was any of it real? Was Annika lying to him the whole time? Even after everything, the wounds linger. 
Some betrayals are survivable with time and effort, but others leave scars that never fully heal. They change people – it changed Charles. It hardened his heart, made love feel dangerous to him and made him create walls where there once was openness. 
He guarded himself like a survival instinct. At first, it was solely for protection – he told himself that if he didn’t let anyone in, nobody could hurt him. The walls became his shield, keeping out disappointment, rejection, and the risk of being vulnerable again. 
But over the course of the weeks, Charles noticed the walls he put up brick by brick didn’t just keep the pain out – they kept everything out. Love. Connection. The chance to feel something real. Hell, he didn’t even tell his Maman that he was back home in Monaco. He pushed his family away, his friends, acting cold and distant – not because he didn’t want love, but because he’s so scared of what happened when he let someone else in. 
It took Charles some time to figure out the truth, that the walls didn’t keep him safe and sound – they kept him stuck. They stopped him from healing, from growing, from experiencing the things that make life meaningful. But he was so scared of breaking them down when it took him so long to put them up, that he didn’t know what to do when he met you. 
It was terrifying, letting you in slowly and hesitantly. He’s spent so long guarding himself, convincing himself that no one except his close ones can be trusted, that it almost felt unnatural to let you in. At first, he resisted, kept his distance. But the fact that you didn’t even know who he was felt so good, made him feel safe to share his story with you and then – you stayed. You didn’t push too hard, but you didn’t walk away either. 
Surely, this friendship has had it’s ups and downs, but this is what happenes when two people, who protected themselves so much that they become too careful, too hesitant to let someone in fully. 
And instead of forcing your way through, you waited. You were there. You proved in small, consistent ways, that you’re not like the woman who made him built those walls in the first place. 
And then, without realizing it, he stopped expecting the worst. He let you see his wounds, his fears, his past, and instead of running, you stayed. You stayed with him through awkward dinner conversations about his ex, you stayed with him when he didn’t correct his family about your relationship status, you stayed when he overstepped the boundaries of your friendship. Your gentle touch, your honest conversations while burning Annika’s things. 
You stayed when he revealed to you who he really is. You see him – the real him – and don’t flinch at what you see. Little by little, cracks form in his defenses. He finds himself wanting to trust again, to love again, even though it scares him to death. 
When you look at him, it feels like sunlight creeping through the cracks in the fortress he thought were unbreakable. It was unsettling at first after being in the dark for some time. But you didn’t break down his walls in a dramatic, earth-shattering way. 
It was quiet. Subtle. It sneaked up to him in moments he didn’t even realize – they way you looked at him when he played your song on the piano in the bookshop, when you let him hold you while you cried like his arms were the safest place in the world, when you showed him that you want him for who he is. 
But even though you broke down most of his walls, he still can’t admit that you’re all he needs. 
He can’t let you in fully after what Annika did to him, he can’t let you touch him like he wants you to. He can’t let himself feel so much for you because what if those feelings he has for you – the feelings he swore he’d never harbour for anyone again – are not enough for you?
What if he gives you his all and you decide that it’s not enough? That he is not enough? He can’t tell you why he doesn’t want you to touch him, because what if you’ll see him differently? What if the things he wants, he needs, are different from what you want? 
He feels like he isn’t good enough. The scars Annika left on him made him question his worth, his value, his ability to be loved. There are moments where he feels too far gone, too damaged, not strong enough to break free from the fear of losing you that he’d rather keep you at arms length hurting himself than push you away and out of his life. 
He can’t let you touch him after Annika, because sex with her felt wrong, like he was broken because he wanted different things than her. Because he craved intimacy like his life depended on it, the safety that comes with it, but it always felt like he needed to deliver, even if he didn’t want to. It felt like a chore, no gentle touches or loving words, only demanding hands and lips and thighs and he swore to himself he’ll never let it happen again. 
If you don’t touch him at all, there’s no chance you could hurt him like that.
He’d rather give you all he’s able to give instead of letting you return anything.
“I could have waited for…”
“Charles.” Andreas‘ voice is gentle and soothing, in contrast to Charles’. When the man from Monaco looks at his friend, he smiles at him. ”We're here.”
The wind howls at the summit, biting and cold, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel it. He can’t feel anything except the weight that presses down on his chest. He stands there on top oft he world – and all the space in the world couldn’t quiet the chaos inside him. 
Andrea chose this route to help Charles clear his head, the mountain was supposed to be his escape, his victory. He climbed every inch of it, each slide of his skis pushing him further from the mess he feels inside. The view from the top is actually breathtaking: endless stretches of jagged peaks, skies that feel closer than ever. He should feel something – pride, accomplishment, freedom. But instead, there’s only the overwhelming silence that gnawed at him. 
For a moment, everything is still. He pulls his beanie and glasses from his head, closing his eyes and trying to ground himself in the beauty around him, but the images, the memories, everything – it all comes flooding back. The things he can’t outrun. The words that had been sad. The choices that had left him fractured and alone. 
A sob caught in his throat, sharp and unexpected and he falls to his knees in the white snow at his feet. The tries to fight it, but the tears come anyway – slow at first, then faster and harder. They burn against the cold wind, mixing with the salt of the sweat on his skin – and he can’t stop them. 
They stand for everything he hasn’t been able to say, everything he has be scared to face. He thought he could bury it, hide it behind the walls he built, behind the distance from it all. 
His hand tremble on his thighs, his chest tightening with every broken breath. His vision blurred, the edges oft he mountain fading into the background. It doesn’t matter that he’s at the top – he feels smaller than ever. The tears slip down his cheeks like a rush of a river too long dammed. 
„I’m not enough“, he whispered almost unaudibly. A confession only the mountains and his friend could hear. „I’m never going to be enough.“
The world stretched out before him, magnificent and indifferent, and in that moment, he realized that being on top oft he mountain didn’t mean escaping it all. He had climbed all this way, but he couldn’t outrun himself. The hurt, the mistakes, the weight of everything he’d buried deep inside. 
He doesnt flinch when he feels Andrea’s hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing and reassuring him that whatever he feels right now is okay. That the tears that fall down onto the snow have their right to exist after being bottled up for so long. 
The sobs faded, leaving him gasping for air in the stillness of the summit. He wiped his face, trying to wipe away the brokennes, but it lingered in his chest. His hands still trembling from the release, from the rawness that had bubbled to the surface. For a long moment, he just sits there, the wind biting at him, the emptiness inside him as a vast as the world stretched out before him. 
And then it hit him, like a sudden punch that knocked the breath from his lungs. 
You. 
Your laugh. Your smile. The way you always seem to know what he’s thinking, the way you care in the quietest ways – how you’ve been there for him, even when he pushed you away. How, despite everything, you stayed. 
He tried so hard to tell himself that he’s better off alone, that he doesn’t need anyone else to fill the empty spaces inside him. He thought he could bury his feelings, run from the truth. He has told himself that love was something to fear, something that could trap him, break him, leave him just as broken as he’d been before.
But now, sitting on top of the world, it all makes sense. 
He loves you. He always has. He can feel it in every part of him, the truth that has been there all along, buried under layers of fear and pride. It’s not something he can outrun, not anymore. He can’t ignore the way his heart always beats faster when you’re near, the way everything seems to fall into place when you smile at him, the way your presence has been the one thing that feels like home. 
The moment of realization hits him like a wave, sudden and overwhelming. It’s undeniable. 
He loves you.
Not in the casual, passing way he once tried to convice himself was enough for his relationship with Annika, but in a deeper, truer sense. It’s always been you – only you. Right from the start when the both of you stood in the small apartment. 
But the weight o fit, the sheer force of that truth, felt like it could crush him, especially when he realizes how long he’s been running from it. 
His heart races, pounding hard in his chest, but it isn’t the kind of excitement he thought would come with such a revelation. Instead, it is quiet terror. The terror of feeling too much. Of feeling anything at all. 
His breath comes in shallow gasps as the cold mountain air cuts through him. It isn’t the altitude or the wind that chills him – it’s the fear of being too vulnerable again. Of letting anyone close enough to hurt him. The thought of telling you, of exposing his raw, vulnerable part of himself, feels like standing on the edge of a cliff with no way to climb back down. 
He stares out over the vast horizon, the world stretching out endlessly beneath him, and for a moment, he considers it. The possibility of going back, of telling you everything he has just realized. But the thought of your eyes on him, the weight of the words, the vulnerability—it‘s too much. Too raw. Too dangerous.
So, he stays silent. He stays with the truth, buried deep inside of him. The love he feels for you is now his secret, locked away like a fragile thing, too delicate to share. He can‘t find the courage to let it out—not now, not after everything that had happened.
But there is something about knowing, about feeling it — just knowing that he can love again — that makes the world feel a little less heavy. It isn’t perfect, and it doesn‘t fix everything, but it is enough. For the first time in a long time, he doesn‘t feel so broken. He isn’t empty. He is filled with something — something soft, something he thought was gone forever.
Maybe he isn’t ready to tell you. Maybe he will never be ready. But the knowledge that love still exists in him — that it can still find him, even after everything — is enough to hold onto for now. It isn’t a victory, not in the way he wants, but it is a beginning. And in that, there is a quiet peace. A peace that, despite all the fear and hesitation, he coul still feel, still hope.
And that, for the moment, is enough.
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kirbmey · 3 days ago
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period cramps with caleb !
💌: sfw, not proofread
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it was late in the afternoon when you felt that unmistakable poke in your lower belly, making you yelp as you frowned; period was coming sooner than expected.
standing up with a low sigh leaving your lips you took lazy steps towards caleb’s office, unhappy with the decision of disturbing him even if he was busy.
he already told you many times before since you moved with him that he was more than happy to see you and help with whatever you needed, not minding leaving the paperwork behind for a minute.
“caleb?” you softly call out after knocking on the door, opening it slowly when you heard a faint ‘come in’.
once inside you saw his broad figure typing something away on the keyboard, long fingers working on the keycaps while his arms where decorated with rolled sleeves, showing the metal and vains traveling along his pale skin.
the room was dimly lighted, the setting sunlight illuminating the place with orangey colors, his desk filled with pictures of you two together, or you by yourself; even the little drawings you gifted him from time to time.
you were his little angel and he treasured everything you gave him, even the smallest knickknacks.
sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder what his subordinates would think if they saw how devoted he was to you. caleb always looked so intimidating with his uniform on, his stoic demeanor and clear instructions, but to you he was just a little puppy who wanted to give you nothing but the best.
“what’s wrong, sweets? you need anything?” he immediately asked when he gazed at your smaller frame standing in front of the big tall doors, gesturing you to step closer to him with his metallic hand after turning the monitor off, giving you all of his attention.
your steps towards your lover were quiet, your head hung low in an shy manner. once you were standing in front of him with both your hands fidgeting with the hem of your dress you felt his meaty one hold them, bringing one of them to his mouth, brushing your knuckles with his lips while looking at you from above.
his other hand found its way to you lower back, coaxing you to sit on his lap. once you obliged he noticed the discomfort drawn in your precious features, caressing your cheeks and pampering kisses all over your face, questioning what was the matter again.
“I just got really bad period cramps, that’s all.” you muttered in a whisper, gaining an adorable pout from him. caleb’s warm hand instinctively went down to your lower belly, caressing it in slow circles trying to ease the pain for you.
“want me to get you pads, meds, something sweet? I’ll go to the store to—” you interrupt his rumbling by giving a peck to his juicy lips, giggling at his wide open eyes as a reaction to the bold move. “I don’t need anything, just wanna spend some time with you and cuddle, is that okay?”
he chuckled with rosy cheeks, nodding as he held you tightly between his arms and stood up, making sure everything was turned off before taking you both back to the big couch.
everything turned quiet from there, he left you in the living room searching for a romcom to watch together as he made popcorn and brought ice cream, too. next to some medicines for your occasional pains, of course. caleb also drew the curtains since the sun completely settled and the moon decorated the starry sky, turning on the warm and dim light.
you nuzzled against his chest once you two were cuddled under the fluffy blanket, getting you hips caressed lovingly and your temple kissed from time to time, responding with little imaginary drawings on his chest and your shorter arms hugging him completely.
it didn’t take you long to fall asleep mid movie; he knew that would happen, as always. he just let it be, finishing it by himself and then turning off the television, getting in a more comfortable posture to sleep with you while he brushed your hair with his fingers, a dumb smile decorating his face.
by the morning there were no pains and you woke up to a snoring puppy, feeling happiness take over your being.
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💌: I needed to write soft things with caleb without the whole big brother trope cuz sometimes I just wanna act normal yk :<
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lanadelreyscokewhor3 · 2 days ago
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CRUSH- D.GRAYSON
pairing: richboy! dick grayson x girly! innocent!fem! reader
part one here!
word count: 2.7k
summary: its the morning after your prince charming had swooped you off your feet, and somehow- dicks secret superpower is diminishing hangovers, by taking care of you.
warnings: sexual thoughts/ implications, kissing/ slight make-out session, pet names, mentions of masturbation, size kink implied, swearing, dick asks reader out on her first date and kinda acts like a sugar daddy lol, he's kinda a soft dom in a way...
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Your head felt like a truck had run over it.
As if you had been tossed on the road, and a Ford F150 had slowly taken its time driving its tires over your head.
You woke up, still in your clothes from the night before, makeup smudged and jewellery tangled. Groaning, you slowly pulled each limb out of bed, feeling like a jello.
The clock hands ticked just past ten thirty, but it felt like you had got an hour of sleep, tops.
You were in definite need of a nap today, you thought to yourself as you slowly rocked up to your feet, tugging off your clothes from the previous night.
The fact you had worn outdoor club clothes in your bed… yeah, you’d need to wash your sheets today too.
You let the morning light that peaked through your thin curtains illuminate the path to your dresser, where you tugged on a new pair of panties and an oversized band tee. Kicking past skirts and thongs, you placed your head in your hands before you managed the courage to go out and brave the bathroom.
And the kitchen. But the thought of greasy bacon and eggs made you excited, just a little.
You creaked open your door, starting to walk to the bathroom before stopping in your tracks.
Oh fuck.
Dick Grayson lay sprawled on the couch, blanket covering practically nothing as he snoozed. His legs were spread, one out on the floor, the other over the arm of the couch.
And his abs… Oh god.
Here was this man- completely sprawled out in your living room- that you had completely forgotten about him staying- mind you. You didn't know why he stayed- the couch clearly was not suited for him- but you were glad he did.
You just needed to get things ready before he woke. And put pants on.
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck…” you mumbled, feet pattering on the hardwood as you scurried to the bathroom.
What you didn't know of course, was the man was already awake- and had been for a while. He had learned to “pretend sleep”, so his roommates would leave him alone when they came home and he was in the living room.
You didn't even let the water warm up before you were scrubbing at your face frantically, like a mad woman before trying to fix your bedhead.
Soon he’d be awake, and you wanted to make him breakfast in bed (on the couch? You didn't know what the hell to call it).
It was the least you could do for him, for taking care of you. He was so sweet. It made your heart flutter, remembering how kind he was to you last night. And here he was on your uncomfortable ass sofa!
A true gentleman indeed.
You frantically rushed to the kitchen, seeing his body still splayed out as you darted to the kitchen, trying your best to be quiet.
“Fuck fuck okay make coffee, make him coffee and find eggs…” you whispered to yourself, making him smirk to himself. He cracked an eye open, shifting so he rested his head over the sofa, watching you silently.
You were in your own little world, trying to reach for a mug on the highest shelf.
“Need any help with that bun?”
You jumped, whipping around to face where he rested his arms and head over the couch back- a smirk on his face.
“You scared me! How long have you been awake for? I’m so sorry if I was loud-”
“A while. You werent loud sweetheart. Dont need to get yourself all worried about me, okay?”
He stood with a stretch, ruminging around on the ground before he found his target- tugging on his pants from last night. You quickly averted your gaze- covering your eyes with a hand as he tugged them on, pulling your fingers apart just a peak to try and get a glance.
You felt guilty but- oh well. You already saw him when he was “sleeping”. 
Heat spread throughout your body as he made his way over to you, trapping you in against the countertop- facing his chest as he reached up with ease to grab the mug you were after. You were frozen in place for what felt like forever, as if you were a statue, just marveling at the sight of him.
“T-thanks.” you managed to mutter out as he handed you the mug, cocky grin plastered across his face- knowing exactly what he was doing to you.
Oh but wait! Things get better! Your inner monologue shouted at you as his hand reached up to brush a stray eyelash of your cheek, rough thumb so gentle across your skin.
“You feeling okay?” he asked gently, knowing last night was… something.
“I’m okay. I have this throbbing in my head- like a drum. S’annoying.”
He snorted, grabbing another mug for himself.
“Yeah that’ll do it. Coffee will fix you up.”
“Do you not have a headache?” you asked, suddenly broken from your trance as he neared the coffee machine, reminding you of your duties before he decided to flip flop your heart around.
“Me? You’re cute.”
You frowned, forehead lines crinkling in a way that made him swoon. You were so adorable when you frowned. Like a little bunny, crinkling its nose.
“Thats not fair.”
“Sweetheart, one of us here is a lightweight, and one of us here is not. Thats the way it goes. Plus, I’m a lot bigger then you.”
You raised your eyebrow, flicking on the machine, the hot liquid beginning to trickle out into his mug.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mm. And stronger too.”
You swallowed, the distance between the two of you becoming smaller, and smaller. You’re apartment wasnt exactly a penthouse suite, but it wasnt super small either. Yet, your kitchen felt like it was crammed with him in it, the room turning hot, your cheeks filled with heat.
“I-I think your coffee is done Dickie.” you murmered, watching as he reached right past you, grabbing the cup and taking a sip.
He drank it black. Of course.
Whistling a little tune as he opened your fridge, craining down to dig around in your fridge, as if he had lived here for years. “Do you want some fruit?” he asked, pulling out a container of berries, and a carton of eggs.
“Please. God I need a strawberry in my system, or I’m gonna crash out.”
“What- you haven't already?”
You lunged at his remark, wacking his bicep lightly, making him laugh. “Make me eggs or I’ll crash out even more.” you smiled, snagging the milk out of the fridge door to pour in your own coffee, adding some sugar.
Popular opposites, it seemed.
He raised his hand to his forehead, giving you a stern salute. “You got it sweetheart.”
----------------------------------
It was the best hangover morning you’d ever had.
You didn't even know those existed, but with Dick Grayson- they did.
He made breakfast in your kitchen, like it was his house. Serving up perfect eggs and toast, with your fruit- it was as if it was gourmet.
Planting a soft kiss on the top of your head, before serving it to you was the cherry on top.
The two of you talked as the sun steadily filtered through the clouds, laughter and utensils clattering. He was just- you couldn't even put your finger on it. It was like he was your boyfriend- honestly.
You just met him the other night, and here he was, making you breakfast and laughing at your stupid jokes after staying the night on the couch- AFTER taking care of you.
There was no sex. No trade offs, no nothing.
It made your head spin, at the complete 180 he seemed to be from most college guys. He was older, yes, but not by much. A few years at most. But he carried himself as if he was matured, older and wise.
Like he could get anything he wanted, if he talked slickly enough- which he always did.
You were captivated under his spell, watching his blue eyes sparkle as he talked, and the ink black strands that would fall in front of them.
He was smart, he was funny and he was oh so sweet.
You wanted him to stay forever, just as company- in all honesty. He was amazing company. The silence was never awkward, when there was some that hung in the air. He’d just admire you from where you sat at the breakfast nook.
“You’re so pretty. You know that? The prettiest girl.”
It made your skin heat, always looking down at your hands fiddling in your lap, when his compliments became overwhelming (they all did).
But when the coffee grew cold, reality had set in, and he had to leave. As much as it pained you to let him go from your safe haven, you knew he had his own life to attend to- and you had yours. But that didn't stop you from trying to convince him, nonetheless.
”I think you should stay.” you teased as you opened the front door, leaving it swung open- as if to coax him back inside.
He groaned. “Bunny, you know I’d love to. But-”
His phone started to buzz, and he rolled his eyes, fishing it out of his pocket. Tim’s name flashed across the screen, a man you presumed was his friend.
“Speak of the devil. I gotta get back to help my roommates with something I promised them sadly, but I promise I’ll be back. Okay?”
You nodded, stepping out from where you were shielded by the door, body coming into full view. His eyes darkened, as he saw your thighs that poked out at him from your t-shirt in the dimmed hallway lighting.
“I’ll text you as soon as I can. Would you like to get dinner sometime this week?” he asked, stepping closer to you, so your breaths were practically intermingling.
You crained your head up to look at him with wide, doe eyes- and he nearly melted into a puddle. “I’d love that Dickie.”
“Yeah I know you would. Now cmere, I wanna kiss you. That okay?”
You licked your lips as he slowly backed you up against the doorframe, caging you in as his hand slipped up to grasp your jaw, holding it gentle- yet firm.
“I’d love that.”
He chuckled. “Yeah? This okay sweetheart?” he breathed, leaning down so his lips were almost touching yours.
Before you could answer, his lips were on yours, the sweet taste of him sending shocks up your spine- nerves coursing on fire at the sensation, as his tongue coaxed your lips to part, begging for entrance.
You moaned, muffled by his lips as he swallowed you whole, consuming you as he gripped your waist, tugging your hips closer to him, so your back was arched against the old wooden frame.
You felt dizzy, when the two of you finally parted, your lips feeling flushed and swollen, a dazed look in your eye as you just stared at him.
Was that the best kiss of your life? Yes.
Were you going to tell him that? Hell no.
You knew his ego did not to be inflated anymore.
He smiled mischievously, like a feline as he planted a kiss on your forehead, and then another, before he turned down the hall. Like he didn't just sweep you off your feet, leaving you dazed like some swooning princess who had just found her prince charming.
“I’ll call you sweetheart.” he called, waving without a second glance, before he disappeared down the stairs, and out the door- leaving no trace of him but your flushed skin and the door swinging on its hinges. 
--------------------------------
Dick was hounded the second his foot stepped in the door.
“So? When do we meet her?” Tim asked from the living room, perched beside the IKEA boxes of parts for the new couch he was supposed to help put up (even though they could easily do it without his help).
He slammed it behind him, hard. “Don't even start.”
Jason let out a little whistle, not even sparing Dick a glance, though he knew the look in his eye would set him off anyways. “He really likes this one Drake. Means he’s gonna get all possessive and not share her with any of us.”
He tossed Dick a wink, making Dick clench his fingers into fists. God they knew how to get under his skin.
“He’s scared she’ll decide she likes us better, don't worry Dickie, I get it.” Tim called, watching as Dick rolled his eyes, making his way over to the mess on the hardwood floor.
“When do we need this done by?” he ignored Tim, starting to pry open one of the boxes.
“Uhh I don't know, when do you want a couch for?”
“I don't know why we need a new couch. Our old one was fuckin fine.” Jason grumbled, flipping a screwdriver between his fingers, even though he was strong enough to probably just press the damn nails in.
“Because it was disgusting and I’m tired of breaking my ass on a spring whenever I watch a game.” Tim mumbled.
Dick was in his own world, tuning out anything that wasn't the thought of you. He already missed your presence. Your soft touch, your sweet smell, the little noises you made when he kissed you, pressing you firmly against the door.
So close he could feel your hardened nipples brush against his chest, skin hot to the touch.
He needed to see you, and soon. Where the hell did he want to take you for dinner?
Up on the East end?
No, not fancy enough.
He needed something spectacular for you. Ideally, he’d want you ending the bed in his bed, in his car- he didn't care where. He just wanted you again, your lips and your pretty little sounds that he would most definitely be imagining tonight when his hand was wrapped around his cock.
He’d take his time with you, unravelling you like a gift. Whether that was on leather seats or memory foam mattresses, he didn't care.
He’d needed this extra special for you.
He’d call in some favours.
---------------------------------- It was nearing the late evening when your phone buzzed, the only name you wanted to see popping up on it.
You were all ready for bed, facemask completed, everything shower done, soft pjs on, nails painted and candle lit. Seeing his name flash on the screen made your heart flutter, and you quickly opened his message, not even bothering to pause your show before responding.
Dick: Hey pretty. Does Tuesday work for dinner?
You: Hi :) Tuesday is perfect!
Even if you had plans that night- you’d push them aside.
Dick: Perfect. Be ready for 8pm, sharp ;)
You: Yes sir:)
You watched his message bubble up, before disappearing again. Then it popped up again, a notification alerting you that he had sent you money.
Your jaw dropped.
This man had just sent you $800 dollars.
Dick: You’re gonna accept this okay? Or I’m going to be very upset and I’ll find a way into your apartment and hand you the money myself. Get yourself something nice for Tuesday.
You were gobsmacked.
How the fuck were you supposed to accept this?
You: Dickie… I don't think I can accept this. And I don't even know what to wear.
Dick: You’ll accept it, and you’ll find something. Anything you pick will be beautiful, I promise bunny.
Your hands were shaking as you held your phone between twitching fingers, in a state of shock. You had known this man for two days, and he was splurging $800 on you? You didn't even know how to respond.
Although to him, you supposed- it probably was next to nothing.
Here he was, making you play dress up to some date planned- that you were unaware of. You had no theme to go off of, no idea of what was happening.
You bit your lip, fighting a little more, even begging for a clue or hint of what to wear- but he gave you nothing. Claiming he wanted you to be authentic, to wear whatever you wanted.
It was too much creative freedom.
Your head swarmed with thoughts of all the possibilities, $800 was a lot of money, and you didn't even know where to start. You let yourself have a mini freakout, and be overwhelmed, before you tucked yourself under the covers, pulling out your laptop to start browsing Pinterest.
You had no time to mess around.
You had a crush to impress.
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eek so dickie is gonna go all romantic and take reader on her first date? hmmm ;)
@gwyneveire <3 if anyone else wants to be tagged i can try and remember to add you in the future!
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neopet-euthanization · 2 days ago
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okay this is all written like it’s something new, but police and prosecutors have been using social media DMs and the like for quite a while now. probably as long as this stuff as been around. when it comes down to it nothing you put into words in digital form is safe. nothing.
what usually happens when you commit a serious crime is they’ll find some way to involve your phone such that they can get a warrant for it. call logs are a pretty easy get, usually, and texts, around the time of the crime. legally they’re allowed to take your phone before they get a warrant, as a matter of preserving evidence. once they have the judge’s sign off, they’ll plug your phone into their cellbrite analyzer.
remember when you’d get a new phone and they’d have to plug the old one in to transfer all your data? when that became obsolete due to cloud storage that company moved on to specifically doing forensic downloads. and they get EVERYTHING. including things that are deleted. they’ll see all the apps you have, whether there’s data stored in them, what kind of data, and they’ll see when/how you used them. Things like Facebook, Twitter, Google, etc. they need to issue a subpoena to the company asking for the data specifically. some require law enforcement to be extremely specific in what they request (Google is like this for geofencing data - they straight up refuse to provide it if the request is too broad). however when they’re served a valid subpoena they’re legally obligated to comply.
subpoenas for information even override HIPAA and therapy/mental health confidentiality. the ONLY communications that are safe are those with your lawyer, as the attorney client privilege is the absolute highest and is rarely if EVER breached by a court. to the point that they will specifically bring in “taint attorneys” (yes the name is great I love it too) to look through and sort out privileged information. so this is a friendly side note if anyone happens to text a lawyer who is representing them TELL THEM WHEN THEY TAKE YOUR PHONE and get it on recording if possible because they’ll have to have someone else review it. i think most of us are not in positions where we have a lawyer representing us but i find this helpful info nonetheless. lawyer contacts are best made over phone or in person, just to be safe. and another side note, bringing ANYONE in to a discussion with you and your lawyer automatically waives this privilege. So if you 3 way call your cousin with your lawyer that could be considered waiving confidentiality.
all of this aside - any company has the ability to just, willingly give things to law enforcement, either upon being asked or just, because.
treat all digital communications like it could be read in court one day.
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PSA: never discuss private affairs in your DMs, especially contraception and abortion. Social media moguls will absolutely sell you out to the government. There are already cases of people being charged based on evidence in their DMs.
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awordsmith · 3 days ago
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tangled up 𝜗𝜚 s.r
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۶ৎ in which you and Spencer join forces to babysit both Jack and Henry.
who? spencer x bau!reader  when? s6 category: novella content warnings: not proofed, contains nothing but pure fluff, reader and spencer get mistaken as Jack and Henry's parents... reid with warmth !!  word count: 4.9k a/n: first novella fic whaaaa....i've been wanting to write this one for a while, but i knew it wouldn't be that long, so this is perfect for my first novella fic!!; enjoy!
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The morning was cold and frosty, and the only thing able to mend it: a large, hot latte. Hotch approached your desk as you set your things down. He leaned over and whispered conspicuously, “Are you sure you can come tonight?”
You rolled your eyes and whispered back, just as secretive, and perhaps some more to show how dramatic he was being, “Yes, Hotch,” you saluted him, “Jack will be in good hands.”
A gruff sound came from his throat–as if signifying his disbelief, “If you say so, do you remember what time?”
“Hotch?”
He looked around, glancing back at you with pressed lips. “Yeah?”
“I got this,” you pushed his hand–gripping your desk–off.
“Right,” he nodded, “no I know.”
You raised a brow and crossed your arms, “so why are you stalling? Is this about your date? Because if you don’t want to go–”
“No,” he dusted his suit off, “I’m–I’m walking away.”
“Uh-huh,” you biot back a smile, feeling Spencer slide up next to you, “and what was that all about?” He kept his inquisitive gaze on your boss.
“Hotch had a date,” you stated, turning to look at him, “I’m babysitting Jack.”
He raised his eyebrows and nodded–but when Penelope called you to the roundtable room and you began to walk away with her, you could hear him mutter, “Why didn’t he ask me?”
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JJ rushed in, she apologized for being late as she took her seat. The team watched her; she was flushed, but her face showed clear urgency. She rolled her eyes, “Please do not question me today, I already have enough explaining to do.”
It was silent, but then you just couldn’t help yourself, “...JJ?” She looked at you with a slight warning, but you still asked, “What happened?”
The air in the room evaporated as JJ sucked in a breath, then deflated against her chair, throwing her head back, “Henry’s babysitter quit this morning.” You kept quiet, waiting for her to elaborate. “Will and I were going to go out tonight, we’ve been planning this for weeks now.” she huffs, running a hand through her hair.
Spencer caught your eyes, and though you shook your head, knowing it’d be a bad idea, he still said, “Well, hey, you know I could watch him for you–if you still wanted to go.”
JJ raised a brow and began to shake her head slowly, “I don’t know, Spence–”
“I wouldn’t be alone,” you noted Hotch raising an eyebrow as Spencer motioned toward you, “— is watching Jack, we could babysit them together.”
JJ glanced at you, then at Hotch–hopeful, “Would you both be okay with that?”
Hotch eyed Spencer’s grin for a moment, “Fine, but — has to keep an eye on Reid too.”
“Uh–what?” Spencer threw his arms up, “I’m a great babysitter–are you laughing?” He glared slightly at Morgan.
“Sure you are,” you reached over and patted the top of his hand, you held his gaze for a split second–the both of you trying to hold in your laughter.
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You could hear giggling inside. Jack clung to Hotch, he was eight, and yet he still adored his father. The night was young, but starting to grow darker. Today, you had only been called to air a case, so you worked from the office, which you didn’t have the pleasure of doing most days, making it pretty unique.
“Oh, hey guys,” Spencer called, walking up behind you. You frowned, noting his relaxed attire.
“And I didn’t think you owned anything but sweater vests.”
“Oh–you just had to comment.” He sighed.
“That I did,” you nodded, “that I did.”
The front door opened right as Hotch checked his wristwatch, “you guys made it!”
“Would you believe it? Hotch hasn’t canceled yet.”
Your boss glared at you, but your remark earned chuckles from the others, “Yep, and I’ll be late if I don’t leave now.”
JJ stepped out of the house and moved aside, “come on in.” Henry popped his little head out from behind Will and motioned for Jack to follow.
Hotch leaned to the side, eyes only leaving Jack once the boys disappeared behind a corner. “Okay,” JJ approached you, hands on your shoulders, “I am trusting you.”
“Hey–uhm Hi!” Spencer waved, sticking his head over your shoulder, “I’m here too.”
“Yes, that’s why I’m telling her to be careful.”
After a bit of teasing Spencer, Hotch, Will, and JJ left in their cars. “Come, on, it’s freezing out here,” you stuffed your hands into the pockets of your zip-up.
“Let the night begin…”
Spencer stayed, feet glued to the floor for a moment as he watched you wander into the house. He couldn’t help the small smile that grazed his face; he covered it with a hand, closing the door behind him.
Inside you were asking the boys what they wanted to do. Hotch had picked you up from your apartment and you, him, and Jack drove over together–so when Henry suggested the movie theatre, you could only glance at Spencer, wondering if he’d be willing to drive.
He huffed, rolled his eyes, and fell back on the couch in the living room. “We can see what movies are playing, I guess.”
You huffed a laugh and gripped the couch with both hands as you learned over it, watching Jack and Hnery jump on top of Spencer.
“Okay, okay.” He pushed Henry’s foot out of his face and shot you a look when he heard you cover up a snort with a cough.
Upon scrolling through the nearest movie theatre, you found the newest Spider-Man movie was playing, but you had already missed the 7 o’clock one and the next showing was at 8:30. You, Spencer, and the boys agreed to that time, which left you about an hour before you had to leave. Spencer offered to pay and though you had debated with him about going half–he insisted.
You agreed, but only if he let you pay for the snacks. Spencer wasn’t a boyfriend and he wasn’t one of the girls, so it felt weird letting him pay for everything. He was older than you yes, but only by a couple of years, and though you had to remind him of that several times, he never once failed to pull that card over on you.
“What’s that?” Spencer motioned toward the bag you had brought–that you were now unloading on the kitchen counter.
“Ingredients,” you shrugged, “it isn’t real babysitting if you don’t bake something.”
“You bake?” He sat up, throwing something on the television to distract the boys before he made his way toward you.
You brushed it off, “Somewhat.”
“Okay,” he nodded, rounding the counter and meeting your hip with his, “so what are we baking tonight?”
“We?” You raised a brow. He nodded, lips forming a thin line to suppress a grin. “Oh, no,” you huffed a laugh, “we are not–do you even know kitchen etiquette?”
His face scrunched up, “I’m a quick learner.”
“Sarcastic Spencer never fails to amuse me.”
“Mmm,” he nodded, “what’s first?”
You shook your head, a grin escaping you. You snatched the butter he had picked up and smacked him on the shoulder as you went to go find a bow for it, “Wash your hands.” 
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“Something smells good.” Jack rounded the counter.
“That would be the cookies.” You spun around and bent to your knees, pulling the oven open. 
“When’s the movie?” Henry came waddling in, Spencer not too far behind.
You glanced at him, expecting him to answer for the both of you. You smiled to yourself, pulling off the oven mitts when he said, “uh…we have about five more minutes before we should leave.”
You nodded and began searching for a container to put the cookies in, “boys, do you wanna go outside and help Uncle Spencer start the car?”
“Awesome!” Henry shouted, running off to find his coat.
“Can we really start the car?” Jack looked between you and Spencer.
“Of course,” you smiled, nodding.
“Cool,” he too ran off.
“If either of them wrecks my car, I’m holding you responsible.” He jabbed a warning finger in your direction.
You scoffed, wiping your hands on a rag, “right. Spencer, you drive a van.”
“An SUV,” he corrected.
“Yeah, well, you don’t seem the type to care about messing things up.”
He held a hand to his chest, mock hurt flashing across his face, “–and what is that supposed to mean.”
You shrugged, but a cheeky smile pulled your lips upward.
“I’ll see you in the car,” he wandered off in search of the boys. You grabbed three cookies and set them aside on a napkin.
When you walked toward the door, you found Spencer and the boys already secure in the car. You locked the door and made your way down the drive.
“I have something delicious,” you handed each boy a cookie, promising to help Spencer clean out his car if it turned out they made a mess.
You took the third cookie and bit into it. Spencer watched you and he pulled off, turning onto the street. He hit a red light when you were halfway done with it, “were you not going to offer to share?”
Your eyebrows shot up momentarily, “you like sweets?”
“Half you met me?” he shot back.
You huffed, yanking his hand from the steering wheel and toward you, placing the cookie into his hand. The light turned green, so he steered with one arm and used his other to eat the cookie. It was a darling sight, truly. You giggled when a few crumbs fell onto the floor.
“I blame you,” he muttered, his mouth full of cookies as he made his proclamation.
Spencer had bought the tickets online, so as you parked, you made a game plan with the boys. Spencer and Henry would go to the bathroom because he forgot to say something back at the house and you and Jack would stand in line. There were a few games around–and of course, the boys asked to play when they saw them–but you only had ten minutes till the movie began, so you promised when the movie was over, you’d stay a bit longer to play.
There were only three lines open and from what you could tell, pretty long. Jack stuffed his hands into his tiny jacket pockets–he looked comfortable. “Do you know what you want to get?”
He pressed his lips together and notably looked around at the freezers and small box-like shelves separating the lines. They were only about two inches higher than him, maybe three or four higher than Henry.
“I’ve never been here.” You frowned. Jack had never been to a movie theatre or he had never been to this theatre? 
“What do you mean?” You stepped forward as the line moved up. A father and his daughter–probably around fourteen–stepped behind you. You took notice, but only because you’ve programmed your brain, they weren’t really important.
Jack shrugged, “What kind of snacks do they have.” You understood Jack didn’t want to speak more on the subject and because you cherished him, you dropped it–but you made a mental note to speak with Hotch about it later.
“Well, I think they have…gummy bears and–oh look–they have cornetto–personally I prefer the cup version–but that’s just me.” Jack laughed and stood on his tippy toes, trying to get a better look at the ice cream flavors.
You caught Spencer walking toward you, Henry skipping a few feet in front of him. He caught your wave and nodded toward Jack, who now stepped to the side of the counter–looking through the glass. “How much time do we have?”
Spencer checked his watch once more, his casual attire contrasting. He wore his glasses–which you absolutely adored–a pair of blue jeans substituted his normal khakis, and he wore a black hoodie with red writing on the back. He wore tenashoes instead of his work shoes and his silly socks were hidden beneath the fabric of his jeans. It made you frown slightly: you couldn’t tease him about it.
“Do you want anything?” You asked as the boys began listing off candy to the cashier.
“No, I’m good.” He shook his head, stuffing his hands into the singular pocket of his hoodie.
“Wanna share a bowl of popcorn?” You pleaded and eventually, he gave in.
You asked for two smaller bowls so you could split the large bowl between you, Spencer, and the boys. Spencer physically winced when you swiped your card–you saw it happen. It sent a flutter through you and your face reddened as much as it could. You covered it up with a laugh, hoping Spencer didn’t find it weird, though the look he threw you said otherwise.
You found your seats, the boys settled in the middle of the two of you. You separated the popcorn between the boys, but then realized it’d be an issue sharing with Spencer if he was all the way on the other side, so instead, you gave him one of the smaller bowls, filled his and Hnery’s, and shared the big bowl with Jack.
You made it in time for the credits which you hated, but Spencer loved. It put a goofy smile on his face as he explained every ad,s aying how they were trying to tug at your heartstrings or logical side. “But we’re too smart, aren’t we?” He met your gaze.
The boys turned toward you, where you now adorned a serious nod, “oh, yeah, we’re way too smart to fall fo that, right boys?” 
“Yep!” they nodded triumphantly. 
“And why is that?” Spencer rounded the question back to him.
“Because we’re profilers,” Jack asked hesitantly.
“Exactly,” you jabbed a finger at him, messing with his hair a little. He laughed and leaned away, pushing your hand toward the popcorn bowl.
Spencer watched you–but not just your person. He wanted your actions, your facial expression, the way you interacted and spoke to Jack, the way you joked with Henry, the way you took every opportunity you could to tease him about absolutely anything. 
He felt his heart tense and then fall to his stomach once he realized what was occurring. Was he falling in love? Was this what that feeling was? Was this how falling in love happened? You noticed minuscule, insignificant things about a person like the way they laughed? Or the way smiled? You analyzed them so thoroughly that you could tell what they would say before they said it. Or know the action they’re about to take before they make it?
He couldn’t tell. Spencer had never been in love before. He had never fallen in love. But was that what this was? He didn’t have a definitive answer, he just knew he wanted to be closer. To you. To you in every way. He wanted you to want to be close to him and he wondered if that was love.
Because if it was, wouldn’t that mean he’d already fallen? But it didn’t feel right.  It felt…like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Like he had been searching for an answer he knew was somewhere in his brain, but hadn’t figured it out until just now.
The movie played and he tried his best to watch it–he grasped the general concept, but he was more focused on, well, you.
Did he love you? Could he say that with genuine confidence? He wouldn’t know until he tried it out, but he couldn’t. Because what if he didn’t? What if what he felt for you was simply pure friendship–he’d be making a crucial mistake, one) if you didn’t like him you’d be weirded out and if you did he chanced hurting you, two) you worked together, that was an issue in and of itself.
He jumped when you stood, watching as you stretched. “What?” You raised a brow, a tired smile forming you mouth.
He found himself smiling back, his stomach flipping, “nothing. Just…tired.”
“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes, yawning, “me too. We should head back now, it’s pretty late. We need to take them baths.”
“Yeah,” Spencer glanced at Jack, who was now standing, and Henry, who was fast asleep in his seat.
Spencer tried waking him slightly, but he wasn’t budging, “just carry him,” you suggested.
Deciding it was the only option, Spencer gripped Henry’s armpits and heaved him upward as gently as he could. You watched him as he laid Hnery’s head on his shoulder, the boy snuggling into the crook of his neck, hugging your coworker tightly. 
“Awww,” you sounded like Penelope but you didn’t care, this was too cute a moment not to capture. Whipping out your phone, you ignored Spencer’s pleas and snapped multiple photos from every angle.
Heading to the lobby of the theatre, you nudged Jack, “I’m guessing you don’t want to play some of the games anymore?”
Jack shook his head and rubbed his eyes, “no. m’just tired.”
You nodded, pulling him into your side as you walked, “Me too, buddy, me too.”
You passed an elderly couple on the way out, Henry slightly waking up when the cold air hit his face. “Are we home?” He asked.
The elderly couple snickered and said, “You’re a cute family.”
You opened your mouth to correct the woman, but her husband added, “You look just like we did, don’t they?” before you could. He turned to his wife, made clear by the matching rings.
“Oh, they do,” then she bent over and asked Jack, “What movie did your mommy and daddy take you to see.”
Instead of correcting the couple, Jack glanced at you, then Spencer, and grinned–though it was sleepy– “Spider-Man 2.”
“Ah, I’m afraid I haven’t seen that one, is it good?”
“Really good,” Henry answered from Spencer’s arms.
They laughed again, then apologized for keeping you and made their way inside.
You and Spencer said nothing as you made your way to the car. Jack and Henry were silent as well. You wondered just what was going through Jack’s head. Maybe he was too tired to understand or care about the women’s words. Yeah, that must have been it.
You decided you would ignore it just as you would ignore the flutter that continuously courced through you the entirety of the night.
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With much prodding, you were able to get Henry into the bath. Jack didn’t take much convincing, but he assured you he could do it himself, which you shouldn’t have believed because he ended up getting shampoo into his eyes.
Spencer finished helping him, though it was hard because Jack insisted on showering. Eventually, the two boys were tucked into Henry’s twin-sized bed, and you and Spencer had a little free time before the others arrived.
You grabbed the bowl of cookies that you’d tucked on the counter near the fridge before you’d left. You meant to eat them at the kitchen counter, but Spencer wanted you to watch some movie he had put on. You would blame and hold him responsible for any crumbs that didn’t land in the bowl.
His chuckle was low and light, just like every other time you found yourself making him laugh. It sent a flutter through your chest and you had to turn away to keep from letting him know just how flustered that one sound could make you.
You shivered, you typically brought a sweater with you everywhere just in case, but you were going to JJ’s house, and you knew she’d let you borrow a few blankets. 
“Where are you going?” Spencer caught your wrist as you stood. Your heart jolted and you couldn’t help but stare at it. You blinked a few times before he let go. He sucked in a breath as if you’d stung him. You weren’t sure what he meant by that or if he meant anything at all by it. Spencer was normally an awkward person, but this didn’t feel like something he’d be awkward about, in fact, Spencer would never be put in this situation simply because Spencer hated physical contact.
Maybe that’s why he had such a reaction. You brushed it off, letting a shy smile replace the longing frown, “Just the hall closet to find a blanket…want one?”
Spencer shook his head and wanting to escape the atmosphere, you bottled toward the hall. You retrieved the first blanket on top. It was white with little blue bunnies. Cute. You thought, it must be Henry’s. 
“I’m back,” you hopped on the couch, keeping a cushion between the two of you, for fear of making him uncomfortable.
He declined your offer of a cookie and opted to lean back. It might have just been your imagination, but you were sure Spencer kept sneaking glances at you. You thought he must be bored, he’d put on a '90s romcom. Though you loved the, you were surprised when Spencer put it on. But then maybe he put it on for you and that’s why he kept glancing at you.
You huffed under a cookie, that’s so like him. 
Halfway through the movie, you’d discarded the bowl of cookies with four left and began to feel the lights dim. Or maybe it was just you. You took a moment and laid your head back but it was uncomfortable. As you shifted on the couch, a yawn escaped you. 
Spencer caught it, attention now fully focused on you, he smiled at your dreary state. He moved one leg under him and without really thinking much about it–if it’d make you uneasy or not–he took you by the shoulders and lowered your head into his lap. You noticed, but barely. He pulled the blanket over you as your arms wrapped around his thigh. Your head snuggled into him and when a satisfactory hmm released itself from your throat, he snorted a little. 
He loved you, or at least he thought he did. Spencer had never loved anyone. Well, he loved his mom, but he knew he was programmed that way. He loved quantum physics and math and chemistry and psychology, but those were very broad terms, and still not a being. He liked cats, but he couldn’t love a cat–well, he could–but that was a different discussion.
You, on the other hand, he always wanted to be around. You, on the other hand, he always wanted to talk to. You, he fell asleep thinking about; you, he dreamt about; you, he woke up to.
You were always on his mind, there was no way around it. In every conversation–though he rarely voiced it–he could always draw back to you. Penelope bought a new pink fluffy pen? You loved pens. Dereck couldn’t sleep at night because of his neighbor. You could sleep anywhere–it was a skill. Spencer couldn’t sleep at all, really, and when he did–well, he’d already know what he’d dream about.
He couldn’t escape you–but well, he didn’t want to.
The biggest evidence of his feelings for you? He hated–absolutely loathed–the thought of you talking to/dating/marrying anywhere else. He made a face, the thought disgusted him;; it made him sick.
The front door unlocking jolted him out of his thoughts… how long had he sat there watching you? Going back and forth in is mind? His mind began wondering and the lights began to fade. His shoulder drooped and he began pushing you backward, fixing you until you were both comfortable. 
“Just for…a bit…” he yawned before the lights went out.
Spencer jerked when he heard the front door unlock. He was always keenly aware of his surroundings–it was a bad habit he picked up in his years at the BAU.
JJ and Will stepped through the door as quietly as they could, the credits were rolling. The movie must have just ended. 48 minutes?
“Hey–” JJ whispered walking toward him.
He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up, but was weighed down, and upon looking–found you still sound asleep. He smiled, but when he realized JJ could see him, he fixed it to a plain expression.
Spencer held up a hand and pressed a finger to his lips, his eyes widened slightly in concern when he looked down at you. Which was ridiculous, he couldn’t stay in this position the entire night, much less on JJ’s couch. You both had work in the morning and you needed to get home. Right…but where was Hotch? How would you get home?
He was startled by your shifting movements. Upon glancing at you again, he found you stirring. JJ covered up a small laugh, and turned back to Will, shushing him as he stalked over.
“Hotch texted, he should be here soon,” JJ whispered.
Spencer nodded as you lifted your head, he raised his arms just enough for you to have free reign, if you pushed out of his hold, he’d have no choice but to let go.
But you didn’t, you pulled him closer and buried your face into where his thigh met his hip. “Five more minutes.”
JJ snatched her phone from her pocket and began snickering, “Penelope is going to love this.”
“Hey–come on, JJ–don’t–” Spencer’s protests went ignored as JJ clicked a few photos and slipped her phone back into the back pocket of her jeans.
A knock sounded on the door not a moment later, Will went to open it while JJ sat on the arm of the couch and smiled down at her two coworkers. “Do you think she can hear us?”
Spencer opened his mouth to say no, but raised a brow and glanced at you questioningly, he wasn’t sure you knew where you were, let alone could make sense of a complete sentence. “I’m gonna go with probably not.”
They chuckled to themselves. Hotch waved, before following Will down the hall toward Henry’s room. You yawned and rolled onto your back, stretching over Spencer. “Hi,” you blinked up, a slow smile turning up your lips.
He met your sleepy gaze with one of his own, “hi,” he answered.
Hotch came back out with a very asleep Jack, calling out your name, You sighed, forcing yourself upward. “Guess I better go.”
Once again, Spencer felt his subconscious take hold of his body as he held an arm across your stomach, “I could take you…I mean I wouldn’t mind, besides,” he nodded toward Hotch and Jack, “he should get Jack home.”
JJ watched in silent awe. It was one thing for Spencer to shake hands with someone let alone hug them, so when she stepped through her doors and found you snuggled up to him, her suspicion-radar was going off. Spencer definitely had a thing for you, or at the very least felt most comfortable with you. In her mind, you were his person, and that didn’t have to be romantic, it was just how it was.
Now, though, watching his eyes, there was no doubt in her mind. Spencer Reid was in love. She wondered what kind of catastrophic event occurred for this to happen.
“You sure?” You murmured, rubbing your eyes. You were halfway leaning against his chest, and halfway using his shoulder to stay steady.
“Yeah, of course.”
Hotch seemed to get the gist of the conversation, whispered a few goodbyes, and headed out the door.
“You made cookies,” JJa noted.
“Yep, there’s four left, but they’re probably all stale now.”
“Well, maybe you two can babysit again and make me fresh ones.”
“I helped, you know,” Spencer added.
“Yeah, ‘helped’ so much I almost had to buy you a new pan.” After a good laugh, you stood and stretched, catching Spencer’s yawn, “well, it’s getting pretty late, we should head out.”
“Alright then, drive safe.”
“I’m always a safe driver.”
“I know you are, Spence.” She pressed her lips together, glancing at you, wondering if you even felt a smidgen of what Spencer felt for you.
The car ride was smooth, Spencer had been over a few times, and with his memory, he knew the way by heart. “Thanks for doing this.” You grabbed his hand as he pulled into your complex.
Spencer jolted, his head jerked down: his focus on where your hands connected. “Oh–sorry, I forgot–”
You snatched your hand away, but Spencer was quick to grab it back. “No–no it’s…” he stared at you. He could lose his mind and still be able to put a name to your eyes. They were like none he’d ever seen–which is opinionated, of course, in his mind, you were all there ever was. “It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” You frowned, “I…know how you hate people touching you.”
“Well, yeah,” he shrugged sheepishly, “but when it’s you it’s okay.”
Your heart leaped at that and maybe it was because you were half-awake and when you were half-wake you became even more delusional than you were daily. “So, you don’t mind if I touch you?”
“No, not at all.” He replied immediately as if he had been programmed to.
You couldn’t help the goofy grin that made its way onto your face, “good to know.”
You opened the car door and started exiting his vehicle. “Hey, —?”
“Yeah?” You yawned again, the sky a blue-black kind of color.
“What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?” You frowned.
“You know,” he tried motioning with his hands, which only made you snort.
“Nope,” you shook your head, “no idea.” You spun around, starting the path to your apartment, “see you tomorrow, Spencer.”
Spencer frowned, he knew he would think about this the rest of the night, if he could sleep he’d probably dream about it, and when he woke up, it would most definitely be the first thing on his mind.
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a/n: lol i've been working on this forever (like a month) and i cried in my maths a few days ago because i couldn't understand it–#mathisnotforme
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@darkmatilda @theylovemelody
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irrepressible-domovoy · 2 days ago
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I saw my therapist last week and she told me I "needed to give my Friends the things I needed as a kid when they were made." (I have DID and she calls my alts my Friends)
While trying to figure out how to do this, I fell down the nostalgia psychology rabbit hole and realized that none of us miss things. People think they miss things, but what they really miss is that feeling of safety and the ability to rely on someone else; that belief that everything is going to be okay just as long as that adult is there to help them.
Many of us try to find that feeling without realizing what exactly it is we're looking for, so we end up trying to fill that need with Legos or toys or whatever things you were denied as a kid and corporations know that.
We live in a society that causes problems just so it can come up with a false solution to sell you.
Find yourself a support system and help each other. Get yourself some Legos if you want, get an easy bake oven if it makes you happy, but remember that things will not fill that hole you want it to: Only love and understanding and support can.
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partiallysame · 2 days ago
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Okay okay, I LOVEE your writing. & I was wondering if you could work your magic for a little idea I had. Hear me out fem nanny x John price .
Price divorced dad of an infant hires a nanny to watch over sweet little baby thing while he's overseas but comes home early in the middle of the night without notice, ☀️ nanny hears footsteps in the house and in a frantic rush grabs a weapon and hides the baby & herself 😭 idk why I need this but I need to know how John reacts
I hope you like it!!!
John Price x Nanny!reader
The last thing Captain John Price ever expected was a week old infant being dropped in his hands from a one night stand but here he was. The only thing that got him through it was you, his new nanny. You came highly recommended from a few different higher ups who had hired you to help their wives while they were away for long periods of time. Years of experience and too many references to count, John didn’t think twice about hiring you, especially after he saw how good you were with his tiny newborn daughter. He was scared to even touch the poor thing but you walked him through step by step how to care for his daughter. He had turned down a few different missions but this one he wasn’t allowed to say no to. Leaving his 6 week old daughter for two months was not what he wanted to do but he trusted you, and was overjoyed when he was able to return home a week early.
The first sign that panicked you was the neighbor’s dogs barking. You’ve been living in this house for almost 4 months now and have never once heard them bark. Then the security lights in the front of the house lit up and you could hear the doorknob rattling. Fuck. You could feel the pit in your stomach growing, something’s wrong. Reaching under the bed to pull out a hunting knife you had found one day putting away laundry. You really shouldn’t have been surprised when you kept finding hidden weapons in a military captain’s house. Knife in hand you made your way to the room next to you, to grab the baby. The creak of the front door opening sent you into full fight or flight. Hearing the heavy steps at the bottom of the stairs, you quickly grabbed the sleeping infant. “We’re gonna play a lil game of hide and seek ok?” you quietly whispered to her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as you peaked out her bedroom door to make sure the hallway was clear before making your way to the large closet in the master bedroom. The only closet with a lock on it. You could hear the footsteps get closer, your heartrate picking up as you locked the two of you in the closet. Holding the sweet baby tight to your chest.  
Now John began to panic when he went to check on his daughter and she wasn’t there. His feet started moving faster to find your room empty too, a glass of water spilled on the floor, one you hadn’t even realized you had knocked over in your rush out of the room. But what really sent him into a frenzy was the small stuffed bear on the floor in the hallway. The one his baby girl never let go of and would not sleep without. The Captain pulled his gun out and began clearing rooms looking for you two.
As you heard doors begin slamming and the noises of the intruder growing louder you placed the sleeping infant behind a few boxes, out of sight, before standing in front of her and facing the door. The doorknob twisted a few times, the intruder trying to get in, one hand covered your mouth to keep from screaming while the other had a white knuckle grip on the large knife. Suddenly the door flew open, Price kicking it down. You twisted the knife around in your hand, bringing both hands up ready to fight for yours and the child’s life. All you could see was the silhouette of a large man with a gun. The light on in the room behind him, keeping his face dark and identity hidden. Price began to lower his gun, seeing it was you and you started to lunge towards him, knife swinging. He easily dodged and removed the knife from your hands.
“Hey hey y/n. It's me. It's John. You're safe.” You almost didn’t hear him from how hard you had been breathing. His hand went to turn the light in the closet on so he was visible to you. He stood there watching you for a moment, chest heaving and hands still in fists as the adrenaline started to wear off.
“What the fuck John?” He didn’t answer.
“Where’s my daughter?” 
“She’s safe” You stepped to the side and moved the boxes you had hidden her behind. John watched you amazed as you revealed his still sleeping daughter all wrapped up in a blanket, safe and sound. Reaching down to hold his tiny girl in his big hands he couldn’t help but look at you. Your hands shaking, eyes full of fear starting to return to normal. He knew he trusted you with his daughter but now? He’d never let anyone else near her. You were ready to fight a fucking home invader and honestly if it wasn’t him who opened the door, he was pretty sure you would have been successful with the knife in your hand. He’s looking at you, standing in your pajamas, hair messy from sleeping and he’s thinking he doesn’t ever want to be without you.
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wandixx · 2 days ago
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Danny the Young Justice member
“Hey, like, hypothetically, do you think Justice League could pay me if I became hero full time?”
It shaped out to be pretty long and boring stake-out, with rest of Team scattered around but connected with Mindlink, so it seemed like best moment to ask. It wasn’t something Danny wanted to do, but it shaped out to be his only chance to get any future. He cried over it enough times already, so there was even a chance he won’t breakdown trying to discuss it out in the semi-public. He wanted to keep it as calm and rational as he could and hey, if something started to get too emotional, he could say he saw some suspicious movement and fly off to fight someone. Really, it was perfect situation.
“How hypothetical is this question?” Robin asked after a beat of silence. It was quiet and careful, like he was afraid to set him off if he said something wrong or he did it wrong way. It made skin on his back crawl. Danny knew he was a bit more volatile lately, but he really hoped special treatment would stop soon.
“Hypothetical”
“Okay, let’s say we don’t know it’s a lie”
“Unnecessary” Artemis coughed.
“C’mon it kinda was–”
“Can someone just answer my fucking question?”
“I don’t think so. Batman is the one doing most of the funding, and he is really stubborn about school and future. He wants us all to have chance at normal life outside of this hero villain business with regular job and stuff”
That didn’t bode well, but Danny hadn’t got this far by losing hope whenever first obstacle occurred.
“But I could be ready whenever disaster strikes or some villain attacks or really whenever it’s necessary and I wouldn’t need to escape any civilian stuff,” he may have gotten a bit desperate along this little rant, but he just pushed through “It always takes precious minutes and–”
“It doesn’t really seem to be hypothetical anymore,” Wally interrupted and he was lucky to be on different roof, because Danny, he sworn to ancients, would strangle him if redhead was any closer.
He was very adamant about not thinking about how his last ideas of surviving to adulthood started crumbling. He promised himself to not have breakdown in the open.
He wasn’t going to.
It was fine.
He would figure something out. He always did.
“Danny?”
“It’s fine Meg, don’t worry”
“Can we ask what brought this hypothetical on your mind? You’ve always were the most assured that you’ll stop being hero at some point and move on”
Bless Kaldur to always know when to ask best-worst question. Danny wasn’t going to cry, so he wasn’t going to answer.
“We can’t help you if we don’t what’s wrong,” M’gann said softly, like she was just trying to remind him.
Something small hit his lap. A tear. When did it get here?
“It’s fine. It’s just a stupid thought”
“Okay. Tell us when you’re ready”
“Something suspicious is going on, I think it’s what we’re looking for,” Everyone needed Conner on their squad to get conversation back on not emotional track.
As it turned out it was indeed what they were looking for, and soon Danny got to express all of his pent up aggression in only a bit misplaced way.
“That was harsh”
“Shut up, this one doesn’t have pain receptors”
“Phantom has a bad day, huh?”
“You’re about to have worse,” he growled and punched guy until he stopped grinning.
It was quick work after that.
“Danny?”
Only bad side of Mindlink was that he couldn’t act like he was losing connection. It would be useful right now.
“Danny?”
“Not now”
“In the Bioship then. Not a minute later, am I clear?”
“Crystal”
He started calculating a way to get out before. He used to do it all the time, at the beginning. It was easier when Team didn’t know about his human side and they were holding each other at the arms length, but still. He could–
Conner landed right behind him and put hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t restrain, it wasn’t assuring. It was just there.
Here came his plans of escape.
“So–” Artemis started as soon as the door of Ship had closed “– what the fuck is wrong with you lately?”
“We all know it’s not nothing”
“I’m being overdramatic”
“About what?”
Danny just slumped forward and his face in hands.
“Danny”
“I have to retake year. I’m not even half way through highschool and I’m already failing and I- I just can’t do better. It’s not like I don’t have time to study, and I do try sometimes, but just as often I’m just being dumb and messing around, and I knew I failed some other tests, but last one? Last one I was sure I’ve got it, I was trying, I was trying so hard and I still fucked it up and if I can’t make it even when- even when I’m trying my best, then what is the point?”
He took a moment to breathe, to rub tearing eyes. He still wasn’t going to cry.
“I’m already kinda good at this hero thing, so I could just keep it up. I don’t think I’ll make it to the end of high school, so no good job for me, but maybe I could. I could have something, you know. Something useful. Something good. Maybe I can have some life after all”
Someone rubbed his back but he didn’t raise his head to see who.
“I didn’t want to let accident destroy any more of my life than it did, but I don’t think I can”
“Well, impossible sounds right about the task for us. We’ve got you”
Well fuck. That’s about that in not crying department.
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aangelinakii · 3 days ago
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TO YOUR SHOULDERS.
— you always looked better with your hair down.
summary : despite always wearing your hair up, jason thinks it looks better down.
note : yes this is totally ripped off from a scene in dexter s4,, and also reader is described with long hair but not explicitly fem ??? so just a heads up for that
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it had never been a question of if you looked nice, it was just that it worked better for you in every way.
your trusty, dusty claw clip.
having your hair out of your face helps you think, helps you concentrate. you don't need to worry about fly-aways when you're eating, nor food getting stuck in the ends. it goes with every outfit, your claw clip.
whoever invented this thing needs everything they deserve and more, wherever they are.
that morning, as you dressed for work, you'd been standing in the bathroom mirror, clip lodged between your teeth as you gathered your hair at the back of your head.
jason's reflection emerged through the door, and he stepped up to the toilet next to you, lifting the seat up with the back of his knuckle — something he preferred doing to avoid getting germs on his fingers, which he'd wash off anyway.
but he paused, looking at you, and you could feel his gaze, as well as see it in the mirror if you tilted your head just a little.
your movements never ceased, and you reached to the front of your face, fingers closing around your clip.
"hey," jason piped up, almost urgent in a way that caused you to drop your hair and spin to look at him. his eyebrows were raised, but lowered in an instant, and his eyes were calm, kind.
after touching the toilet, he didn't want to reach up and ruin your hair, but he ghosted a hand over the front of your locks. "have i ever told you how good you look with your hair down?"
no, he hadn't, but now he has.
instinctively, you pulled away with a bashful grin threatening to poke out from pulled-up cheeks, soft like fresh bread. "really?" you breathed out, a small laugh like a song to your voice.
"really," he smiled with a nod.
"okay, i'll keep it down today." as you leaned forward into him, placing a hand on his toned chest, your smile still lingered as you kissed him, and you could feel the muscles in his face doing the same.
however, you hadn't kept your promise — not that it was a promise at all, but it was a compliment and it had made you feel warm and fuzzy.
but it's a force of habit, putting your hair up.
so when the work you were doing got a little bit more stressful, a little bit more things for you to rush around and do, the claw clip you'd kept safe in your bag just in case came out and clamped itself in your hair, keeping it up and out of your face.
by the time you'd closed the front door behind you and kicked your shoes off, jason was rounding the corner into the hallway to welcome you home.
your bag slipped from your fingers, falling to the floor as he appeared, and your arms stretched out for him. there was a slight pause in his actions, but it was barely anything noticeable in the exhaust of your head.
his wide frame slotted between your open arms, strong biceps holding you within his own. whilst your hands lay half-limp on his back, jason's embrace was tight, a hand coming to position on the nape of your exposed neck.
soft kisses tickled your temple.
"missed me?" you chuckled, voice muffled by the fabric of jason's grey t-shirt.
to which he only hummed in return, pulling his head away from where he'd been kissing to burrow in the crook of your shoulder. and then he said something, but you couldn't make it out, for his words had got lost in the threads of your clothes.
"speak up?" you offered, carefully twitching your head away so he'd look up.
when his face finally emerged, you found his black hair messed with affection and his eyes soft like the fur of a labrador. his lips thinned with a similar shyness you'd felt that morning.
"you put your hair up," jason finally mustered himself up to say, pads of his fingers dancing along the curls that had fallen down at the back after a busy day.
with a sharp inhale, you brought a hand to feel the clip, as if just realising it was there. "oh! sorry, it's been a long day."
you felt jason's hand rise to the clip too, and you moved yours away, settling it around the base of his neck, where your other hand met it.
"it's okay." his voice was soft and soothing, like a cup of chamomile and honey on a horridly rainy day; the scent of lavender when you're trying to get to sleep.
suddenly the tension at the back of your head was lost.
jason's other hand came around, brushing through the hair released from its clip, coming up to the top of your head to style it to frame your face. his eyes never looked at the hair, only you.
"perfect."
and the styling hand rested upon your cheek, thumb absently skimming across the skin.
with a gentle pull on his neck, you leaned forward, eyes fluttering shut, to meet him in the middle. if you were perfect, he was heaven-sent.
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