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glitter-stained · 2 days ago

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I always feel like a little sad seeing posts about how Jason's character is inherently tragic and that's what makes it good, how him being unloved, a tragic consequence of his own actions, is inevitable, and how that shouldn't change because any change on that regard is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character. Yes, Under the Hood is a tragedy. Yes, Jason survived and for a long time people have been pretty confused at what to do with the character that survives the tragic ending. That doesn't mean he should continue to be trapped in the tragedy, that there's only value in him as long as he's unloved. And maybe that's me preaching and being a party pooper again but the idea that the teenage-to-young adult character with a mental illness that has damaged all his relationships is doomed to be lonely and have bad/upended relationships forever, that he's only good as a character as long as he's hurting others and/or himself (and usually both) and isolated because of this... It's sad, at the very least. I refuse the presumption that tragedies are the only stories wise and worth telling.

Also I personally really dislike the idea that Jason isn't and shouldn't be anyone's favourite, because he made himself nobody's favourite on purpose. Did he make himself a villain on purpose? Fuck yeah. Does any of his early attempts at reaching out to people hurt them? Indubitably. I maintain that this is because he wants to be someone's favourite as he is, at his worst, with his hands covered in blood. And I think he should be. (Without contradicting or damaging, by comparison, the relationships between other characters, that's the tightrope we need to be weary of when making such things, of course.)

It's like this: love, in most relationships, is conditional: you don't owe your friend or your partner to continue to love them if the relationship changes, if you change, if you become violent etc. If my girlfriend started murdering puppies, I would stop loving her. Ideally, however a parent's love for their child is unconditional. That's very often unfortunately not the case, but ideally it'd be, it's really not great for a kid to have zero parents that love them unconditionally. And most importantly, it's not just about actual unconditional love, it's about it being perceived. So it doesn't matter in the debate if Bruce actually loves Jason in spite of the murder, it matters that Jason asks for confirmation of it at the end of UTH and receives a negative answer. (similar arguments to be made about Catherine loving Jason and dying of drug overdose and Willis going to jail and dying - it's the potential perceived abandonment of it that would matter, not their agency and actual love. And it's not a question of whether he would be angry at it so much as that he'd yearn and hurt for it. And of course Sheila didn't love him at all.) That's why he, upon learning about Mia and reaching previously unknown to man levels of projection*, tries to rally her with the hope that, because she's "so similar to him" she would understand him. That's why upon learning about Dick "killing" Blockbuster Jason, again projecting more violently than a bullet, Jason makes Dick into his new favourite person (god, the concept behind BiB has so much potential why did it have to suck so bad...) Anyway, Jason to me is a character with a very intense, very overwhelming conception of love both in who he loves and how, who struggles to understand that other people love and show it differently, and it makes so much sense for him to keep looking for a person who will love him unconditionally (something that's both very rare and not necessarily healthy since, again, most relationships aside from parent-child relationships do not and probably should not include unconditional love). This is particularly interesting in the context of him having bpd (again, using bpd because i'm focusing on the interpersonal dimension that's been mostly studied within that frame) because BPD often functions around a vicious circle of "is afraid of rejection/abandonment -> does maladaptive behaviour in attempt to prevent rejection/abandonment OR protect oneself by being the one to leave first" which is what leads to the instability in relationships. It's a doomed prophecy: i have maladaptive patterns that make me think my girlfriend is gonna leave me at any time, I keep demanding to see her phone, assuming she's cheating everytime she leaves and thus demonizing her even though I was glorifying her five minutes earlier" then she's going to leave me, which is gonna reinforce my thought pattern that everyone always leaves me. But that also means that in rare instances in which the other person in the interact, for whichever reason, sticks around through that, then these incorrect thought patterns begin to change through the sheet logic of extinction: if i think that people always leave me because of something fundamentally wrong with me and people don't leave then eventually the idea that people are doomed to abandon/reject me is going to lose its power. That's, btw, an important part of why therapy works.

(*that one's a joke, btw. He's not projecting onto mia and dick to levels impossible to mankind, just pretty intensely. Very human levels of projection, might I add'. Just to clarify.)

Now, be mindful: I'm not saying make Jason an abusive boyfriend. I'm not saying put him in a relationship where the other stays because they're afraid of him, that's not unconditional love or acceptance that's just fear. Of course, the ideal version of it would be Jason goes to therapy but because dc hates me specifically this is never gonna happen, but imagine him being in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, with someone who is as intense and "unwell" about him as he is about them. I'm not saying it would fix him (again, get him so goddamn therapy jfc) but it would change him. And just as it doesn't have to be healthy it doesn't have to be tragic.

I was asked a while ago my thoughts on Jason's current stagnancy as a character and if I thought he could become interesting again, and I said yes and talked about the directions I dream would be explored with his character and their potential. My answer hasn't changed, and it's completely compatible with this, but I will add: I think Jason as a character has largely and for long enough been defined through his yearning to be somebody's favourite, and that if you want his mode of interacting with others and dynamic with different characters to change then this is a very logical way to do it. And it would make a lot of sense for it to be the catalyst for other changes in his character (ie in his name or philosophy).

Get that boy into a super intense long-term codependent situationship, is what I'm saying. Please.

#dc #jason todd #dc comics #red hood #i'm only talking about Jason's part in this and not who I think would fit best in that context #even though I already have a candidate in mind #because it needs to be equivalent exchange for the characters too.#aka i need to be sure it'd be interesting for this character's arc to be this intense towards him as well #and so further research is needed before i'm sure of my answer #jason todd meta #this was supposed to be two sentences if you can believe it

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thissying · 13 hours ago

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interview with Richard Pex about Max's go-karting days Formule1 magazine, The Year of Max 2024

"At some point I knew Jos and Sophie from the go-kart track in Genk. I was there, riding with my two eldest sons. But with Stan who was four years old then, too. At some point Sophie came up to me together with Max and said: 'Max wants me to ask you how old Stan is.' I said four and then Max said: 'See. I'm five already and I still have to wait until I'm six.' Jos wanted him to wait until he was six but I asked Max: 'Would you like to drive?' Sophie didn't really want that but we did it anyway."

A few innocent laps with great consequences, Richard realises more than twenty years later. "A couple of days later Jos called me. 'Yes, thank you very much', he said. 'Now I have to buy Max a kart.' That's how it started. We agreed then to go karting together more often. Sparring and training. I raced too but I couldn't keep up with Jos. 'Well, you have a better engine', I said to him. 'Okay', Jos said then, 'then I'll fix this engine for you before the Dutch Championship in Amsterdam.' I went like a rocket during practices but at some point I thought: is that Jos over there? He'd been curious about how things were going and had come to Amsterdam for that. 'Can I spend the night in the trailer? Because I'd like to see the race tomorrow', he asked. Typical Jos: pure passion. We clicked and that's how our friendship started."

Verstappen's go-kart team was run by Frans [ed. Max's grandpa]. Because Jos was still active in F1 and couldn't be there for everything. On top of that, Frans and Jos were busy with the boys that drove for the team and sometimes that was at the expense of Max. "In Genk the mini's were allowed on track for fifteen minutes of every hour. Then Max came over and said: 'Daddy, I want to drive too.' At some point Jos was done with it. He said: 'This isn't right. I'm constantly busy with others and then when my son comes and asks me to drive, I don't have time. You know what I'm going to do? I will quit the team. From now on I'm only going to focus on Max. He really wants it, wants to drive so badly. Do you want to do this together with me?'"

Richard didn't need to think about it for long. "My sons were driving as well, so that sounded good to me. 'Okay, then we'll buy a van and we'll do it together', Jos said then. From that moment on we were together almost day and night, at the go-kart track or the business in Maasbracht. There, in that factory hall, we set up a workshop and from there we started working. I think I've been at all Max's go-kart races. It was an incredible time. Very hard work but wonderful. Jos was busy every day, from morning until night. Max went to school, (laughing) sometimes not, but after that he was always there. To tinker or drive. Often they were eighteen hour days because I still had my own company as well. But we had a lot of succes. Jorrit became world champion [ed. in 2006] in Portimão. Jos was his mechanic. Max was there, Stan, our wives. I still get goosebumps now. Especially that look from Max to Jorrit in that moment. You could see the passion in Max's eyes, the will to achieve the same. I can still see Jos caressing his little head, telling him: 'Your time will come.' Unforgettable." That Max had the talent and gift to go far in the racing world became clear very quickly. But everything that happened behind the scenes and what was needed to facilitate young Max optimally is rather underexposed. Richard was there from day one and got sucked in. "The brakes were off with Jos. Everything had to move out of the way for the higher goal. Jos always said: 'Max just has to perform, then everything else will follow.' He made it as difficult as possible for Max; he raised the bar a little every time. Jos felt Max should race with older boys. He had the luck he could often spar with Jorrit, who is five years older. What Max didn't know, was that sometimes Jos added lead to his go-kart and wasn't satisfied until he was as fast as everyone else. Every Wednesday afternoon we went to Genk. I picked up Jorrit and then we took the van to Maaseik to pick up Max from school. He was always the first one to run onto the playground to get in, rain or shine. I think we must have been in Genk 48 Wednesdays out of the 52. Going on holiday was another thing. We always took the van because we'd go on holiday near go-kart tracks. The deal was: one day at the beach and the other day the boys were allowed to kart. That quickly turned into karting every day. Often at unknown tracks and then Jos would say: 'Lap 8 will be pole-position time. Not lap 25 because then you boys will know the track already', That's how it went."

Max was fast right away, showed his famed ruthlessness already at a young age and could match the absolute top of the world in karting. That didn't happen without a fight. The competition watched with disbelief which lead to plenty of speculation that cheating was involved. Jealousy reared its head but not with the person that should have been bothered the most: Jorrit Pex. "Jos and I also often watched in disbelief at how fast Max was. Jos would then compare Max's data to Jorrit's and point out the mistakes he made. Max would often get into a discussion, did not hide away and would then talk to Jorrit. Recently, in an interview, he said: 'I learned a lot from Jorrit.' I liked that." Jealousy wasn't an issue because Jorrit is so different from Max, character-wise. "Jorrit also said: 'give Max the best material. He must become world champion.' That's what he was like. Jorrit didn't have any issues with that. He wanted that for Max. I also noticed Jorrit was more of a homebody. He enjoys going away but mostly he really enjoys being home a lot. Because he'd already said he wanted to run the company with [brother] Yard, the choice was clear. There never was any envy. Not from me either. I was there for everything, been through it all and it was fantastic."

That Max had just that little bit extra, Richard and Jos discovered empirically. "Jorrit and Max were sparring with equal karts. Engines that ran equally fast, same weight, no difference whatsoever. And yet, on the straight Max went just that bit faster every time. If you didn't know better, you'd think: he's got a better engine. Even I started having doubts and Jos too wanted to know now. 'You know what?' Jos said, 'We're going to exchanges the engines.' Nothing changed. Max was a tad faster again. It meant that Max came out of the corner with more speed and therefore was at top-speed more quickly. How he does it, I don't know either. That's pure talent. You can still see it with him now, in Formula1 as well. Max had a good engine but not a better one than the competition. It was purely Max. He had and still has that little bit extra. Tire management, technique of taking corners, attack, defend - Max mastered it down to the last detail. He had good equipment but he did not become European and world champion because he had the best material."

The straightforwardness of the Verstappens is not appreciated all around. In F1, with all its egos, disagreement is never far away. Conflicts lurk in a world where the competition is razor-sharp. Jos was (is) extremely black and white. Max will occasionally accept a shade of grey but only if he's being utterly convinced he's wrong. How did Richard Pex manage to never let those powder kegs explode? The Limburger laughs. "I read or hear stories that make me go: how do they come up with that? Yes, Jos was tough but I've never seen Jos box Max's ear. And I was there for everything. Me and Jos click. We're true friends, through thick and thin. We've been through all the ups and downs and talked about everything. We slept in the van together, were together 24/7 most of the time. Of course I wondered sometimes: how will we manage this? Jos wasn't the easiest person but we always talked things through and turned out okay. And we're both proud of that. We've got, I think, rather the same character: honest, straightforward. We didn't always agree but that was also to up the pressure. I'd say: 'Jos what you're working on now, won't work.' 'Oh yeah?' he say then, and start working like a madman to prove the opposite.

[…]

Max mediated to have Richard and his best friend Stan as a guest in Abu Dhabi in 2021 for the heroic grand finale of the battle between Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen. "Now I have to be careful otherwise I'll become very emotional. Nothing will ever be more beautiful than that. That I got to be there for that… Pfff. Max said before that: 'You and Stan are coming with us to Abu Dhabi.' Yeah, that's something you'll never forget. Together in the car on the way to the track. Talking about go-karting and the past. On the day of the race Max said: 'Richard, this is the big day. I'm going for it fully. It's going to be difficult but you never know. And then it happens. That last lap, I knew: now he's going to get it. Afterwards tears flow. "I saw everything again. Max on that crate, Jos kneeling before him. The look between those two. I saw those icy cold little hands again, the tears in his eyes when Jos had sent him back on track in the rain and cold in Genk again. Unfortunately we don't see Max a lot any more, but that will change again. I'm certain he still thinks the karting days were the best time of his life and not the present. When the helmet is on, he's the driver but he doesn't give a damn about the whole circus around it in F1."

[…]

Richard Pex has been there for all of it. Nobody that - except for dad Jos of course - knows Max Verstappen better than this Limburger. "Even in karting I already said: it's Max who makes the difference and when he gets to F1 and he's got equal equipment, it will be: start, away and done. That's how it was and still is."

#f1 #richard pex #max lore #max verstappen #max in dutch #jos verstappen

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themultifanshipper · 9 hours ago

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It really depended on who you asked. But you were determined to make everyone have a good time at the end-of-season celebration.

Warnings: no plot only filth, smut, most of the drivers are present and active, cum, a lot of it, like A LOT, inside and outside, public sex? Voyeurism, many orgasms, the end is crack i'm telling you now

Part 9 of One of the Boys

Max and George had been fighting, Carlos was a mess, Lewis was a mess, Kevin, Guanyu and Valtteri were leaving, Max was celebrating his fourth Championship, Franco didn't have a seat for next year, Charles was in mourning, Lando and Oscar were… well. They were doing what they do best: dancing around each other awkwardly.

Tonight, everyone was free to have a piece of you if they so desired.

For the end of season celebrations, a club in Monaco had been completely privatised for the occasion.

No cameras, no outside guests, this was exclusively for the drivers to let loose and enjoy their last time all together.

They decided not to do it in Abu Dhabi given the nature of some of the local laws, so the usual parties happened there before you all flew to Monaco for the private celebration.

It had been previously agreed that anything went. There was a private room in the back, and as many drinks as you all required. Open bar, no barman.

You were in a skirt, for convenience, and were doing rounds of shots with all the drivers. For the last time for some of them.

Kevin wasn't particularly sad, he would be able to spend a bit more time with his kids, and he had a seat in endurance racing, so the shots were celebratory, and the backshots he gave you in the private room were sweet and passionate, a testament of how happy and fulfilled he felt about his time in Formula 1.

The room consisted of a low table, a few sofas, a stage with a pole (that you were not going anywhere near, thank you very much) and even a little adjoined bathroom for any eventual (inevitable) cleanup, which even had a shower in it.

Whoever chose this club really knew what they were doing.

While you were dancing, Kevin still dripping down the inside of your thighs, two others came up to you.

The Sauber pair. Guanyu was looking a bit shy but Valtteri didn't hesitate to lean in and purr seductively in your ear, hands going to hold your hips that were swaying to the music.

“We were wondering if we could have our turn…”

And take turns, they did.

They had you on a couch, legs akimbo while they worshipped your body with their mouths and hands.

Valtteri fucked you up against the wall, mustache tickling your neck as he groaned into your skin.

“Such a sweet pussy- shame I couldn't have it more often”

You nodded desperately, tears running down your cheeks from the pleasure as you clawed at the walls looking for purchase. His cock was curved upwards slightly, so the angle made him hit your g-spot dead on every time.

Guanyu's cock was shorter but thicker, and he chose to take you from behind, and you learned he was very good with his hands.

His pace was maddeningly slow, but the way he snapped his hips made you shudder as you came around him, aided by his expert fingers working away at your clit.

Once you were all dressed again, and cleaned up, they kissed you goodbye and you frowned.

“You don't have to go, stay for a bit, enjoy the company” you begged.

“I have a flight home in a couple of hours” Valtteri uttered sadly. “and Guanyu has a very long flight home”

They smiled and kissed your hand reverently. “It's been a pleasure, my dear”

You watched them say goodbye to the others, very tight hugs being exchanged, then trundle out of the door, as if it was just another post-race celebration.

You made your way over to Fernando who was chatting animatedly with Lance.

“Enjoying yourself, beautiful?” Fernando greeted you, sliding an arm around your waist and pecking you on the cheek.

“Very much” you grinned at him. “I was just wondering if you two want to have me to yourselves for a bit before the others start getting possessive”

Fernando’s hand made its way down to squeeze your ass and he leaned in to mutter in your ear.

“With pleasure, hermosa. In the back room or out here in front of everyone?”

The idea made you shiver. “Which ever you prefer…”

That's how you ended up bouncing on his lap, his cock splitting you open, in one of the booths that lined the walls of the club.

You certainly turned a few heads, some drivers looking up at you curiously, others in amusement, but you weren't really paying attention to anyone else.

Your skirt was bunched up around your hips, which were being bruised by the hold Fernando had on them as he impaled you on his cock repeatedly.

Lance was watching the two of you from across the leather seated booth, lazily stroking himself.

“Fuck- Fernando she's dripping.”

You really were. You'd never really had an audience like this, but the fact that you were exposedin such a manner, surrounded by people you loved and trusted, made you wetter than you ever thought possible.

Fernando thrusted into you from below, bruising grip slamming you down onto him in a way that made your toes curl.

The ease with which he could manhandle you was impressive, his muscles bulging under his shirt every time he flexed. It took him so little effort you felt weightless, being used like a ragdoll to satisfy Fernando's need.

“Shit- I missed this so much” you whined as you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly. “The car had better be good next year, I can't go another year without a podium from you…”

You gasped as he wrapped his arms around you and bent you forward over the table, deepening the angle and making you almost burst into tears with how good he felt inside you.

“If this sweet pussy is what I will get, then I will put as much money in the car as it will take for me to get another taste”

He grunted in your ear and you knew he was getting close. You were too, and you didn't even need to tell him, he could feel your body trembling like a leaf in his grasp.

“Go on princess, come for me, make a mess of the seats”

You cried out as your orgasm overcame you, the constant relentless abuse your g-spot was getting made you feel like your whole body was on fire.

You were a vice around Fernando, and your pulsing walls milked him for everything he had as he came with a loud groan inside you.

He sat back down with you in his lap, his cock slipping out of you, along with his cum as he spread your legs for Lance to kneel between and immediately start lapping at your creamy folds.

His hand worked furiously over himself as he did, and the debauched act was enough for him to come all over his own hand and the floor.

God help whoever was going to be cleaning this place once the night was over.

A few minutes later you found yourself doing another round of shots, with Carlos and Lewis.

“Looks like Fernando's still got it after all this time” Lewis joked, lifting an eyebrow at you suggestively.

You scoffed at him and reminded him he was only 4 years younger than Fernando.

“In dog years that's 28 years difference”

You rolled your eyes. “Lewis, in dog years you are both dead.”

He chuckled before taking another shot.

“We'll see who's dead after I'm done with you.”

Well, you might as well have been dead. Your hips certainly were.

He had you bent in half on the table, knees against your collarbones as he pounded into you.

The squelch was obscene, your sopping cunt clenching on every thrust of his thick cock until you were a crying, babbling mess.

It also didn't help that in an effort to shut you up, Carlos had slid his cock into your mouth.

So you lay there, with your head hanging off the table while two men filled you up with their cum, in front of their friends and rivals.

The table was filthy by the time the two men had finished with you, so you moved to another booth and beckoned Lando and Oscar over for more shots.

“Hello boys!” You cheered as they slithered into the seats either side of you, Lando on your right and Oscar on your left.

“How does it feel to be the first McLaren constructor's champions since 1998?” you purred, fingers wrapping around a shot glass and pouring it into your mouth.

“Feels fucking amazing…” Oscar whispered into your neck.

You threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him up to join your lips.

You’d only swallowed half the glass and he moaned when you pushed the remaining liquid into his mouth. It burned on the way down, making him splutter at the bitter taste.

You and Lando laughed softly before you took another shot and did the same thing with him, and he took it like a champ.

Oscar didn’t like that you’d made him look ridiculous by surprising him with Tequila, so he demanded another go. And the same thing happened again.

You did another couple of shots like that, the two men eventually getting desperate for a different kind of taste of you.

Lando had a hand on your right thigh, Oscar on your left, and they pulled them apart to hook your legs over theirs.

You were fully exposed to their torture, the only thing you could do was moan when fingers (you didn't know whose) trailed along your folds, gathering your wetness while avoiding your clit on purpose.

“I think we deserve a reward for our hard work. Keep your eyes closed sweetheart, if you open them, we stop…”

It was turning you on to no end, having four hands on your body, and not being able to open your eyes to see who they belonged to.

Two fingers were inside you, rubbing insistent circles into your g-spot, another finger was circling your clit gently, a hand was alternating between squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipples, and the last one was wrapped around your neck, cutting off the bloodflow to your brain and making you feel incredible as your orgasm approached at a record pace.

“Fuck-” you rasped “I'm close, I'm so fucking close, oh my god!”

You clamped down on whoever's fingers they were as the pleasure overwhelmed you and you leaked onto the leather under you.

You panted into Lando's mouth, whining in overstimulation and he chuckled, standing up and sucking his fingers clean.

Oscar gave you a quick kiss as well before mirroring his teammate. They made no move to unbutton their pants.

“What?” you sat there panting, blinking up at them in confusion “What about you guys?”

Oscar chuckled.

“We figured you had enough to be getting on with tonight, so we'll be taking our reward privately another day, when you’ve recovered from what the others have planned for you” they winked at you and slipped out of the booth, leaving you to recompose yourself.

You made your way back to the dance floor, moving to the beat of the loud music while you danced with the others. That’s when you caught the eye of Yuki.

Yuki seemed pretty shy at first glance, but once you got to know him he was a menace.

He grinned at you and made his way over, dancing along the way and you laughed at the ridiculousness of his moves.

You turned so your back was to him, letting him wrap an arm around you from behind and gluing his hips to yours.

His hands went to grip your hips tight as you danced together, pretty much grinding on the dancefloor.

“Is it my turn yet?” he growled as he rubbed his crotch against the curve of your ass.

“It certainly is.” Your head lay back against his shoulder and he took the opportunity to trail kisses along the side of your jaw. “And you're free to have me however you want...”

He chuckled darkly when his hand slipped under your skirt to feel how wet you were.

He slipped a finger in easily, too easily and he grunted into your skin.

“Looks like I can just slip inside you right here, then”

You gasped when you felt one of his hands flip the back of your skirt up, then unbutton his pants to pull his cock out and slip it between your wet thighs.

The advantage of being similar heights meant that there was no need for either of you to bend your knees awkwardly or get up on tip toes, he just slipped into you and you moaned, high pitched into the thick air of the club.

It was slow. It was maddeningly slow as he rocked his hips in time with the beat of the song that was playing.

“Yuki!” you whined but he just laughed, his grip on your hips unrelenting as he bullied his cock into your sopping cunt at a snail’s pace.

You could feel your slick dripping down your legs, apparently being watched, or at least visible to all the others was making you wetter than ever.

“Such a dirty girl, aren't you?” he grunted into your ear as he picked up the pace slightly.

“She certainly is” said a voice in your other ear, which made you jump slightly.

It was Liam.

He closed the gap between your bodies, hands going to your waist as he kissed you.

But Yuki got rougher with his thrusts, making you moan into Liam's mouth and break the kiss to get some air into your lungs.

God, men were so competitive.

“So how’s your evening going?” he asked teasingly with a lopsided grin as you clung onto him for support.

“Don't- fuck!” Yuki gave a particularly hard thrust to try and distract you from Liam “Don't make small talk while I'm being fucked, you can see exactly how ahh- how my night is going…”

Liam chuckled and slowly lowered himself down to his knees, so he was eye level with where Yuki’s cock was spreading you open.

He flipped your skirt up and groaned at the sight.

You were dripping all over your thighs and Liam wanted nothing more than to lick them clean.

But instead he brought a hand up to his mouth and sucked on his thumb to wet it, before bringing it to your clit to rub it lightly.

“Oh fuck!” you squealed, and you wrapped a hand in his hair to steady yourself.

“You gonna come baby? Gonna come all over Yuki's cock like a good girl?”

You nodded desperately. Yuki's thrusts were getting sloppier, and you could feel your high approaching quickly as Liam worked over your clit diligently.

“I'm… I'm fuck- I'm coming!” you cried out, your orgasm washing over you in waves, and Yuki followed shortly after as he pumped you full of him.

He tucked himself back into his pants, giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek and muttered “thank you” before leaving you with the insatiable blonde standing in front of you.

He rubbed a couple of fingers through your folds, gathering some of the obscene mixture, and brought them to your lips for you to suck on.

His pupils were blown wide, feeling utterly insane as he watched you suck them clean.

“Want me to fuck Yuki's cum back into you?” he purred.

You moaned and nodded, eyes closing at the bitter taste on your tongue.

You ended up back on top of one of the tables in a booth, this time on your stomach as Liam slid himself in to the hilt, displacing Yuki's come and making it drip down your legs.

Nico, who you'd picked up on the way to the booth, was unbuttoning his pants as quickly as he could while you looked up at him with your tongue hanging out of your mouth.

As soon as his cock was freed you leaned forward and wrapped your lips around the tip, teasing it with your tongue.

He groaned, and Liam took that as a sign to start moving, so he planted his hands on the table either side of your waist and started fucking you in earnest while Nico slid more of his cock into your mouth.

“God, your mouth schatz…” you hummed at the praise and his hips bucked at the extra vibration on his cock.

They got into a rhythm, one pushing in while the other slid out, and thank god you were laying down because your legs wouldn't have withstood the pure obscenity of the way Liam rolled his hips expertly, hips meeting yours every time you tried to push back against him.

You were so blissed out you didn't even notice Esteban slink into the booth and take a seat next to you.

He wasted no time pulling his pants down, and he hissed as he wrapped a hand around himself and squeezed lightly.

It didn't take Liam much longer to come, given how he'd been riled up ever since Yuki had beaten him to you on the dance floor, and he pumped his cock into you a few more times before letting out a low groan and emptying himself inside you.

He stepped aside and motioned for Esteban to take his place, and you gasped when his cock entered you.

It was longer than Liam's, and it bumped against your cervix on every thrust, despite him not even being fully inside you.

He chuckled when you choked around Nico, making the older man grunt and pull himself out of your mouth to give you a breather.

He jerked himself off furiously as you heaved in a breath, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“You gonna open that pretty mouth and let me come on your tongue, princess?” he panted, and you nodded, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue back out as far as it would go.

A few seconds later he came in hot spurts over your tongue, some of it dripping onto your lips and chin as you winked at him, and swallowed the lot.

Esteban didn't last long either, leaning over you and whispering dirty praises into your ear until you were a trembling mess underneath him.

“I didn't get to have this pussy last time, but I could wait for a thousand years if it meant being able to have this perfect cunt wrapped around my cock, squeezing around me so tight…”

You could hear the smirk in his voice, and when you looked to the side, you could see Max staring at you, a glass of Gin & Tonic in his hand as he fixed you with a look that clearly meant ‘It's my turn soon, and you're not going to be able to remember the others when I'm done with you”

Esteban wondered what made you clench like that, and his gaze fell on Max and he laughed at the expression on the Dutchman's face.

“He may have kicked us out last time, but tonight I get to have this sweet pussy all. I. want.”

He punctuated his words with hard thrusts, and you cried out as he made you see stars, coming for the umpteenth time that night.

He rocked his hips a few times and followed in Liam's footsteps, emptying himself inside you.

You had so much come inside you, and running down your legs it felt obscene.

“Well, well, well… what a sight”

Franco suddenly appeared beside you, hand trailing down your back to squeeze your ass in his large palm.

“Can I have a turn?” he asked, eyes drawn to the way your cunt fluttered and more cum dribbled out.

“Of course, Franco” you smiled up at him lazily, obviously fucked out of your mind on dopamine.

Alex also showed up, having spotted his teammate making his way up to you, he used your mouth to get off while Franco slipped his impressive girth inside you.

Franco was whining as he fucked into you, the squelch making his head reel with how wet you were around him and he came in no time, only adding to collection of cum dripping out of you.

On his way out, he bumped into Charles and Pierre, who had decided it was their turn.

They watched Alex finish over your tits, for which he had a bit of a thing, and fist-bumped him on his way out.

Charles moaned as you spread your legs, his cock throbbing at the mess in front of him.

“Oh darling, it looks like you've really made the most of tonight, haven't you?”

He trailed a finger along your inner thigh, spreading the mixture of juices around your skin.

His tip was just resting against your entrance, not pushing in yet while he had his fun.

His finger trailed up your inner thigh, through your folds and spread the wetness all the way up to your puckered rim.

“Charles no” you whined pitifully “I need you inside me now, just fuck me please”

He chuckled pushing just over half his cock inside your cunt and thrusting ever so gently.

“But I haven't done this with you yet” he pouted, his finger applying the lightest pressure and breaching your hole shallowly.

He was barely moving inside you and you felt like you were going mad with need.

“Chaaaarles, not tonight, please just go faster” you bucked your hips backwards, trying to get more of his cock inside you, and the two men laughed at your neediness. “If you don't want to fuck me then move over and let Pierre do it”

Charles’ eyebrows shot up in surprise and Pierre smirked at him. “You heard the lady”

Charles sighed, rubbing the tip of his finger over your rim longingly.

“Okay, next year then”

He slammed his hips against yours suddenly, making you jolt and cry out at the stimulation.

“Yes Charles, fuck!” his thrusts rendered you breathless, your thighs hitting the edge of the table every time.

Surprisingly, Charles didn't last very long. When he felt like he was getting close he pulled out and turned you over onto your back, slamming into you a few more times while he held your legs open before pulling out completely and finishing all over your thighs and quivering mess of a cunt.

He quickly stepped aside and Pierre, who you hadn't noticed had been jerking himself off next to you, wasted no time pushing into you and stretching you more than any of the others could.

Because he was so big, he had to go slow at first to make sure he didn't hurt you, but he quickly picked up the pace and hurtled towards his own orgasm, and weirdly, he did what Charles did, pulling out at the last second and shooting his cum over your lower stomach and puffy lips as he groaned at the sight.

You looked at the two men questioningly, and they looked a bit sweatier, and a bit more unhinged than they usually did after fucking. What on earth had gotten into them?

“What was that about?” you asked, seeing the way they were eyeing up your body.

“We've never seen you covered in so much cum and… it's doing something to us” Charles chuckled breathlessly, once again swirling his finger through the mess on your body.

“Is that right?” you giggled pulling him down for a kiss. “Well maybe if you win a race next year, I'll let you and Pierre cover me… completely” you muttered and he had to close his eyes to recompose himself.

“We would love that” He whispered and he dipped down again to give you a filthy kiss.

The moment was interrupted by a low groan and the sound of shuffling.

“Jesus Christ”

George and Max were standing there stiffly, staring at you.

Charles and Pierre just smirked at each other and sat down on the leather seats, eager to watch whatever was about to unfold.

“I'm the last one, right?” George said, eyes still trained on where your cunt was still leaking cum.

“Actually, I think you'll find that I am still-“

You couldn’t bare hearing any bickering right now, you were high on sex, and you just wanted to feel good.

“Excuse me!” you snapped, cutting them off “Actually, neither of you are coming anywhere near me until you've sorted out your differences”

They looked like they were about to argue with you.

“So either make up or make out, I don't care, but you're not getting me until you decide to work together”

Their jaws snapped shut.

They glanced at each other sheepishly.

“Come on, man…” Max lightly prodded George and that set them off again.

“Don't fucking touch me”

“What? you scared of me?” Max prodded him again.

“Fuck off” he slapped Max's arm away.

“Oh yeah, why don't you make me?”

“Oh you don't want to get me started-“

“Go on then”

“Yeah? You want to fight? Typical”

“Fuck you-”

They were getting physical, pushing each other roughly back and forth and you were about to intervene when…

“Ow! You fucking- mmmff!”

It happened so fast, you, Charles and Pierre barely had time to register what was happening.

Max grabbed the front of George's shirt and slammed him against the side of the booth, but instead of punching him, which is what you thought he was going to do, he pressed his body against the taller man and pulled his head down to shove their lips together.

George tried to put up a fight, but it didn't last long as Max quickly invaded his senses and all he could do was cling to the older man while they fought with their mouths rather than their fists.

Although with how the kiss was going, you wouldn't be surprised if they did end up taking each other's fists.

You laughed at your own unhinged dirty mind and turned to the others, who were gawping at the two with open mouths.

You had a feeling they were going to be there a while.

So you picked your skirt up off the other side of the leather couches and put it on in a semblance of modesty, and made your way to the room that had a shower in it to freshen up a bit. The hot water felt amazing as it washed away the stickiness all over your skin.

When you came out, fresh and ready to party, you ran into Pierre who was looking for you.

“They were at it for ages, and they only stopped when they realised you weren't there anymore. Look, I took a picture, it's in the group chat” he showed you his phone and indeed, they had moved to the seats, Max on top and they looked debauched.

If that picture ever got out, the world of F1 would be shaken forever, and twitter would probably explode.

You spent the rest of the night dancing and doing shots with the remaining drivers. You danced for hours, enjoying each other’s company as the season officially came to a close.

Max and George were scowling at you from across the room the whole time, which was fine. At least they were no longer scowling at each other.

Besides, you'd have plenty of opportunities to make it up to them, next season.

#my thots #f1 #formula 1 #one of the boys #lando norris #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #lewis hamilton #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #oscar piastri #liam lawson #yuki tsunoda #fernando alonso #lance stroll #nico hulkenberg #keving magnussen #franco colapinto #alex albon

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unfriendlies · 23 hours ago

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if you remember. garam rolled his eyes and let out a long quiet breath as if to say of course he remembered. though he couldn't exactly recall what the two talked about, if they really even talked at all, but he could remember what happened. to an extent, anyways. his demeanor shifted drastically once angel told him how he knew garam had a hardon. he felt the blood rush from his head, a sort of panicked numbness settling in his hands as he gripped as tightly as he could onto the blanket that still left his legs concealed. he felt it, angel actually felt his dick pressing against him. this was so embarrassing, definitely not how garam imagined the first contact would go. but at least he hadn't tried to push further, he had the common sense at the time to do his best to hide the fact. "i must have fallen asleep after that, too. when i've been drinking, don't ever let me go past just kissing... okay?" he was really worried, mostly about the fact that he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop if angel had given him any sort of leeway. he'd never been the type to keep going or push for more when somebody denied him but knowing the feelings between them were mutual, he feared that, being drunk, he would forget about what angel has been through and pressure him into going further. garam also... just really did not want their first time to happen while he was under the influence. he wanted to be able to remember every single second of it, he wanted to enjoy every feeling instead of those feelings being controlled by alcohol. when angel began talking about their fight last night, all garam wanted was to pull away from him but he feared that angel would think it was an act done out of rejection when that was far from the true reason. garam felt so guilty for what he'd said, ashamed of the accusations he made. the smaller man just sat there, his grip on angel's hand tightening for a moment before his whole body relaxed. it was good to hear that angel was seeking professional help for what he'd been through, garam would have felt worse knowing that angel was suffering in silence, by himself. he knew he wasn't very good with dealing with his emotions, he often jumped into things too quickly and latched on to anybody that showed an interest in him. that's partially why they were both in the predicament they were in, because garam lived with rose colored glasses permanently attached to his face. he didn't want to see the obvious red flags, he chose to believe there was good in everybody. "it was my fault," he admitted, turning his body to face angel. "i said things that i knew would hurt you because i was... i was jealous. you kissed somebody else and i saw, i didn't like it. i kept bringing darius up because i do want to be friends with him, too, so you don't feel like you have to choose between us. i wasn't lying but that wasn't the only reason." garam looked away from angel, obviously ashamed of himself at this point. "you deserve someone so much better than me, someone who actually sees you and who picks you first, someone who doesn't use you. i've brought you so much trouble and i hate myself for it. i'm afraid of what might happen to you if you do choose me." garam continued, looking back to angel once again. "he went to my apartment after he hit me, i knew that he'd go there so that's why i came here instead of going back home. i'm sure he got mad that i wasn't answering, he has a key so he probably just let himself right in. it looked like a bomb exploded in there when i went to grab my things. he knows i'm here, you really aren't safe as long as i'm with you." he didn't even want to think about what could happen if axel managed to get inside while they were home, while they were sleeping, or showering. completely vulnerable. "i should have brought my bat with me."

At the mention of his drinking, Angel averted his eyes. He didn’t want to tell the man he had gotten sick. That watching him leave was the hardest thing of that night. He didn’t want to explain those couple of hours. Then he would have to lie. He couldn’t tell Garam his ex was there, not knowing how he would react. Things finally seem to be working out for them. Watching Garam spiral was hilarious to Angel. His grin turned into full-on laughing until he saw how serious Garam’s face was. “No, no, you didn’t do anything like that.” He cleared his throat, trying to stop his giggles. “We kissed more than once, if you remember. The last kiss, I pulled you against me. I could feel it twitching until you pulled away”, Angel admitted, leaning closer to Garam so their faces were inches apart. He soon noticed that Garam was serious. He truly thought he did something. Angel felt his smile would have hinted. However, the man was going through a lot. Angel wanted to be understanding. He tried once more to use his humor to calm his best friend. Angel smiled and pinched the man’s cheek, “I’m not mad. Would you stop, I’m okay. You didn’t do anything to cross any lines. You were adorable last night, if I’m being honest with you. After our kiss, I fell asleep. I can only assume you did as well,” the taller man said, the distance between them once more. Letting out a deep sigh, he tucked his wild strands behind the ears. “Since we are on the topic. You apologized to me last night. And I think I owed you a proper apology.” Angel was looking away from Garam now. Still sitting on the edge of the bed. Lowering his leg to turn his back, he was nervous. As confident as he thought himself to be, saying how he truly felt was difficult. Being the friend was his comfort space. Angel took a deep breath and pushed himself off the bed. He quickly walked over to sit right beside Garam and took his hand before he lost his nerve. “The things I said to you weren’t fair. My anger should be placed elsewhere. I really care for you, Garam. And yes. I did drink last night…” Angel paused as he tried to decide how much he should tell. “I drank too much and got sick. Most of it was out of my system by the time you got home.” part of that was the truth. “I don’t know what I can handle or what I can’t. I’m not even sure about what I want. But what I am sure about is you, Garam. My promise is the same as yours. I promise to take good care of you. But please be patient with me. If I pull away, please try and understand it’s not you. I’m seeing someone about what happened.” Angel admitted as he watched Garam’s face. He was rambling, worried that if he stopped talking, he might lose his nerve. “We meet once a week. I want you to know that I’m trying to be okay. Not just for me. But for us. That kiss showed me that our feelings aren’t just fillers for what’s going on. This is real.” the taller man squeezed his best friend’s hands, hoping he didn’t put his foot in his mouth. He didn’t want any fights between them again. If his little speech went well, they would be on their way to eat pancakes in no time.

#threads #thread: min garam #garam & angel #ang3lmoan

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lauralot89 · 1 day ago

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So I watched Nosferatu

poor Nicholas Hoult keeps getting tortured by vampires

also

that certainly was a penis

it has been years since I watched the original Nosferatu and I no longer remember what it did with any of its characters or plot so I will not be comparing this to that

so if you're going to do a Dracula/Mina romance (or in this case, Orlok/Ellen) and you're not going to base it around their shared hobby of reading train schedules, this is probably the best way to do it, because this isn't actually a romance. This movie gives Mina/Ellen the psychic sensitivity that Lucy/Anna has in the book, and establishes that Ellen has had mental connection with Orlok since her childhood, and he essentially groomed her. She even calls him out on it in the film. Yeah, there is one moment toward the end of the movie where she comforts him, but she isn't trying to save him or anything and also even in the original novel, Mina was the one who said Dracula deserved the most pity.

Yes, there was the scene where Ellen was saying Orlok loved her more than Thomas/Jonathan but she was clearly possessed

There is no romanticism of Orlok/Dracula here. He's the worst and he doesn't even have the illusion of civility that most adaptations provide.

also I was told by early reviewers that this movie was very horny and I think they must have watched a different cut than I did. I mean, sure, you see (flaccid) vampire dick once and some nudity throughout but the movie has two sex scenes and both are deeply unsexy in that in the first, you don't see anything and also both characters have gone out of their minds, and in the second, it's not even really sex. You can't just show me a dick that's not even in use and tell me that's horny. Come on, people. Raise your standards.

I don't say this to be mean but: I think the original Orlok makeup from the silent film was scarier. I get what they were doing here, I do, and the makeup was immaculate (as were the costumes, the set designs, etc. It's an Eggers film) but I personally find Original Orlok scarier, and this Orlok was most intimidating when he was kept in the shadows.

This movie felt very much like a fairy tale. It even sets up a "three nights" limit at one point sort of like the earlier versions of Cinderella. I find that Dracula adaptations, particularly in film, often put vibes above, say, characterization, and this movie felt pretty vibe-y.

If I were to make a complaint, it wouldn't even really be about the movie itself. But like, Nosferatu was originally made to be Dracula without paying for the rights to Dracula, wasn't it? You're not bound by the novel (not that most straight-up Dracula adaptations follow the novel all that closely either). You literally have a built-in excuse to do whatever you want, but it seems like what people want to do time and again in vampire movies is a highlights reel of the most famous moments in the book without ever really delving into the characters that made the novel so good.

Again, this is not a criticism of this movie. It's just that what I realized while watching this movie is that I really really want a Dracula adaptation that's a character study. Not even necessarily a character study of Dracula. If someone out there made an adaptation that focused the story on Jonathan or Lucy or Jack or whoever, I would love for that.

God bless Ralph Ineson's voice

Everyone in this film did well, but Nicholas Hoult's performance was probably my favorite. He emotes terror so damn well. And of course Dafoe is always a delight.

Did Original Orlok also favor biting people on the chest or was he a neck guy

#Laura watches Nosferatu #Nosferatu spoilers #spoilers #I guess #not really #just vague thoughts that allude to stuff

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guiltyasdave · 8 hours ago

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things that i wrote

i saw @secretelephanttattoo & @jolapeno do this and really loved the concept, so here’s my review of 2024!

of course, the man occupying the main part of my brain has been DAVE YORK (we are all very surprised), as i finished not one but two series about him this year— the dress series and wildest dreams, which i wrote with my love @joelscurls and i’m still so incredibly proud of this project!

there have also been countless oneshots, which can all be found here, but my two faves are when we go crashing down and the road not taken.

another man living rent free in my head was JOEL MILLER, who i didn’t write that much for but i’m so so proud of the things that i did write. i still think about no one can hurt you now very often and of course there’s safe and sound waiting to be continued. the love i’ve received for that series in particular has been one of my favorite things of the year.

then of course we have JAVIER PEÑA and one of the best writing experiences i’ve ever had: nights are so starry, blood moonlit literally flew from my fingertips and lowkey i’ve been chasing that high ever since 😭

…and, really surprising to me personally, i became obsessed with OBERYN MARTELL this year. it started with delicate, which is another piece of writing that i’m so so proud of, then came gold rush because who knew how badly i needed a threesome with oberyn and dave in my life, and finally i wrote peace, which was so far out of my comfort zone and now i’m so happy that i did it.

and theeeeen i branched out because LOGAN HOWLETT demanded a seat at the table, and my forever love, the logan x kitten universe was born <3

looking back, i wrote way more than i thought this year, and i’m actually pretty proud of all of it :)

i have already talked at length about the things that i read and loved the most this year, which you can find here! the pedro fandom is an incredibly talented bunch of people and i’m so grateful for all the amazing writers who share their stories on here <3

another thing that i loved in 2024 was my 1500 kisses challenge and all the beautiful creations that came out of it. thank you for celebrating that one with me!

a few other highlights from my year:

as most people know (i think) i had to stop working last winter due to severe burnout and depression and it took me a while to get my life back together, but i got medication, i got therapy, and two months ago i was able to get back to work and am in a really good place right now, which i’m eternally grateful for, because honestly, this time last year i wasn’t sure if i’d make it another 365 days.

i got to meet @sizzlingcloudmentality this summer and not to be dramatic, but life hasn’t been the same since. i didn’t know i was looking for you but i’m so glad that i found you <3

all the amazing friends i’ve made this year. if we’ve ever dm’ed, or just interacted on here, i’m talking about you! this community has been my safe space (despite the occasional horrors lol) and i love it here.

i’m gonna stop before this becomes more sentimental than it already is, but i’ll tag a few people who might want to share as well: @sizzlingcloudmentality @catchallfangirl @beardedjoel @burntheedges @murder-wife @iamasaddie @almostfoxglove @sceletaflores @schnarfer @moonlight-prose @eupheme

#2024 review

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btswithluv13 · 2 days ago

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Two Friends

Chapter 2 - “What if it did?”

teaser: Maybe it was the liquid courage that dared you to continue, that made you say what you’ve been keeping in all these years.

warnings: alcohol, language, infidelity (kinda?)

recommended songs: HML - Milena // Canada - So Yoon // Goodnight n go - Ariana Grande

note: thank u all for waiting for this. i struggled a lot with how to end this chapter lol, pls forgive me for leaving it like that.

wc: 1.1k

Things were normal, at first. You'd still talk to Jungkook often, most of the time just through texts. You'd expected things to change of course like how your regular meetups with Jungkook now always included his wife. You knew very well how to distance yourself from him to not make his wife uncomfortable. You tried very hard to befriend her, and while you two got along just fine it seems like the only common denominator you had was Jungkook. So the meetups became less and less and the messages less frequent.

Jungkook called you along with Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi to his place. His wife was out of town for the weekend. Frankly, you have been making up excuses whenever Jungkook would invite you over alone. You know he doesn't think much of it as this has been normal but you wanted to respect his wife and well… maybe there was a part of you still that didn't trust your heart being alone with him.

So when your other friends ask you out to a party you say yes. When the guy you meet at the party asks for your number you give it. When he texts you the next day, you reply. You were fine. These were all the things that people do to move on. It’s odd to think you have to move on from a relationship that never happened.

You were sitting around Jungkook’s dining table drinking and talking about mundane things. “So how is married life?” Jimin asks Jungkook. “Oh.. it’s good.. Yeah. We’re still getting used to it but things are… good.” He ends his sentence with a grimace. You thought he sounded strange saying it but you figured it wouldn’t do you well to overthink it. You take a sip, more like a shot, of the whiskey you were nursing.

“___, how’s that guy you’ve been texting?” Taehyung says out of nowhere.

Your eyes widen in shock as you look at your friend. You are coughing out and feeling awkward because everyone’s attention is now on you.

“There’s a guy huh?” Yoongi teases. “Yeah tell us ___.” Jimin tacks on.

“It’s nothing, we’re just texting…”

“How come I don’t know about this guy?” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed. You look at him in disbelief, why would he care?

“I mean it’s not a big deal, JK.”

“No but, I’m your best friend aren’t I?”

“I don’t want to bother you with trivial things, besides you’ve been… busy.” You shrug.

“Okay…” Jungkook feels unsatisfied with your answer but he lets it go. You don’t understand why he’s being so touchy over this. Sensing the tension in the room Jimin suddenly talks about how his friend Jin caught a large tuna. You take another shot.

The night wears on and you try to shake off all the thoughts of the earlier conversation. You try your best to participate in your friends' discussions. Though you still feel the weight of Jungkook’s eyes on you. Things weren’t always this complicated. Jungkook was your person, someone you trusted and confided in but it felt wrong going back to how you were because, whether you or he admits it, things are different now that he’s married. You’ve accepted it already, you tried to move on.

Eventually while the other guys were engrossed in talking about whatever, you took an opportunity to slip away. You found yourself outside again, this time on the balcony. The moon once again accompanies you. You look up at its glow and wonder if the moon can read your thoughts. If it judges you for how things turned out.

The sliding door makes a sound behind you.

“You okay?” Jungkook’s voice was soft. You hesitated to turn and look at him.

“Yeah. I just.. needed a moment.” You, readjust the jacket you were wearing.

You turn to face him now, his expression was a mix of concern and perhaps confusion.

“Are you okay?” You ask, stepping closer to him. His presence filled the air, the familiarity of it all making your heart ache.

“No.” His answer surprised you.

“What do you mean?”

He looked at you with hesitation before blurting out “I just feel like.. We’re drifting apart in a way.”

Not wanting to make this anything else you try to be defensive “Is this because I didn’t tell you about the guy?”

“What? No! ___ this is more than just the guy, I barely talk to you anymore. It feels like you’re purposely pushing me away and I don’t understand why.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks, you didn’t think he’d notice how different you were acting.

Before you could respond Jungkook steps closer, holding a hand to your face. You feel your pulse pick up and you hated the way his hand felt so warm, so comfortable.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong.. I miss you.” He pleaded, his eyes looked at you with so much longing you were almost ready to risk it all.

But, this wasn't right.

“Jungkook, stop.” Your voice comes out almost like a whisper. You felt a sense of defeat because you know just how this night would end once you spill your emotions.

“What is it? Do you just not want to be friends with me anymore?” The tone of his voice was rising.

“No!” You panicked, “never that, Jungkook. You’re married now, and things are just different…”

“Why does it have to be different? You know I would never want you to feel like things are different just because I’m married. You’re important to me too, ___. ”

You can’t take it any longer, whatever restraint you had was hanging on by a thin piece of thread.

“Because!” You snap.

“Because, what?!”

“Because, I don’t know how to be just your best friend Jungkook!”

Maybe it was the liquid courage that dared you to continue, that made you say what you’ve been keeping in all these years.

“Not when I want to be more…” Jungkook is taken aback.

There’s a suffocating silence that surrounds the both of you. There was no relief in your admittance, the weight of the words you just let go felt like it crushed you even more making it hard to breathe. You think you fucked everything up now.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry… Please forget about it. It’s probably just the whiskey talking..” Tears spilling out of you now, a wave of regret sweeping over as you try to fix what just happened, as you try to mend your friendship. If the ground could just swallow you right then and there.

“Why are you only telling this to me now?” Jungkook’s voice was low, almost like he was talking to himself.

“What? It’s not like it would’ve made a difference.” You say it but you can’t help the way your heart jolted at what he said. Because you didn't want to make the situation any worse than it is you try to sidestep him to get inside, but he grabs a hold of your hand and faces you to him. There’s a hesitant pause before his mouth twitches, and then…

“What if it did?” He says.

#jeon jeongguk #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts fic #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts angst #jungkook x you #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook

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kamechan98 · 3 days ago

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Octavia is a seventeen year old girl who has little to no connection to the outside world that we know of. Stolas is the one positive relationship she has and that has become more and more strained over the years and especially since he slept with Blitzø that first time. And so she's been caught in the middle of her parents' drama, her mother's abuse hitting a new peak, her father finally standing up for himself which changes the dynamic as well, her mother moving out and also trying to pursue a relationship with Blitzø, which definately is a lot to deal with for anyone, especially a kid.

But, let's face it, Octavia does come across as pretty self-absorbed in a lot of ways. Which I do not blame her for at all, btw, we are all self-absorbed when we're young and especially in this awkward teen years. And dealing with a divorce is going to be rough on the kids, it's common for kids to feel like their parents not loving each other and staying together is somehow their fault.

But with that said, that immediate jump from "my dad's taking anti-depressants" to "is it MY fault that he needed these? Was he only staying with us and keeping himself miserable because of me?" Which, while mostly true, is a bit of a oversimplification of the situation. Yes, Stolas stayed with Stella and put up with her abuse so Octavia could have a normal, happy life, but if he had not met up with Blitzø again, him wanting a divorce and finally standing up for himself probably wouldn't have happened. Blitzø made him realize that he could choose for himself and find happiness, but if he hadn't, he'd probably would have just stayed in that relationship until he died if it meant keeping Octavia happy. And Stolas is a big People Pleaser so he probably wouldn't have rocked the boat too much if he hadn't found that strength in Blitzø.

People in bad, unhappy or abusive relationships have often been convinced that things can't get better, that this is all you're gonna get so it's better than nothing, and part of escaping is learning that things can indeed get better. And once you realize that, it's very hard being okay in those bad relationships or situations, which is shown as Stolas stands up to Stella, goes through with the divorce and tries to pursue his own happiness.

But back to Octavia, this of course is hard for her as her whole life and world is crumbling around her and as Stolas is her only positive relationship, she's terrified of losing him. As well as, while her life may not have been 100% happy or good, it was one she was used to and grew to either love or tolerate. And since Stolas is the one who pulled the plug on it, it is easy to point the finger at him saying he ruined everything. Kind of like how it's easy to blame anyone who blows the whistle for disrupting the status quo that everyone has grown used to because now they have to settle to something new, rather than happy someone finally did something to try and fix a problem and in the long run could make things better.

And since teenagers are a bit self-absorbed and dramatic, it makes sense for her to feel like Stolas has ruined her life and that he chose Blitzø over her, and not as Stolas trying to find a healthy relationship with someone else that can make him happy in ways she can't. That it isn't as black-and-white as she makes it out to be, that loving Blitzø doesn't make him love her any less or him being miserable and needing anti-depressants is because of her and him taking the first out of their family that he could find because he was just that unhappy. That in her mind it makes sense that Stolas just stayed with her because of obligation and the second he could leave her and Stella behind for Blitzø and can't see the whole picture yet.

That Stolas isn't choosing Blitzø over her, but rather choosing Blitzø over Stella and her abuse. That Blitzø isn't trying to steal her dad from her but maybe give her a happier, healthier family dynamic than the one she has. Right now she can't see thatm she only sees her father choosing to die for his affair partner and was willing to leave her alone with her mother. And more or less saying he should have let Blitzø die so Stolas wouldnt' have left her behind. Which is unfair and cruel to say, especially to someone who's already depressed and broken, but I'm willing to bet you money that if someone sat her down and had a calm, gentle conversation with her about it, asking if she really thinks her father should have let Blitzø die, she'd probably say no, if a bit reluctantly. But these are the kind of emotions you go through during tough times and we all say things we don't mean when we're upset, hurt and angry but once we start unpacking them we're able to deal with them better and see them in black and white.

After all, hurt people hurt people

And the sad thing is, all it would take is one long, probably painful but long overdue conversation between Stolas and Octavia for her to understand, or at least understand his perspective better. Maybe not the whole thing, as she's right in the middle of abuse and growing up around it has made her grow used to it. It would probably help to talk to an outsider who's able to see the abuse for what it is. But once Octavia realizes this, sees how truly terrible and evil her mother is and how she tried to have him killed, she will turn on her, no doubt about that. And once she's also given some love and compassion from others, the way Stolas has started to, she will go through the same kind of journey her father is currently going through.

Both Stolas and Octavia have hurt each other and both have good reasons for why they did what they did or feel what they feel, but I 1000% believe they'll find their way back to each other.

As much as i can understand where Via is coming from, and her feelings are valid, she doesn’t see her dad as a living person outside of just being her father. And that isn’t right. It’s especially not right seeing just how many people feel absolutely no empathy for him.

“She was just a child having to endure all that!!” Okay, and how old was Stolas when he had to marry an abusive girl and have a kid of his own, exactly? At least he gave Via a chance to have a good childhood, he didn’t have one. He didn’t have anything except for his duties to carry out.

And while it’s heartbreaking that Via sees herself as an obligation, that’s literally what she was supposed to be. Though that doesn’t mean that was how he saw her. She was what saved him, what made him endure all the abuse, what kept him going.

But sometimes that’s not enough, he had NO ONE to confide in and couldn’t put his frustrations on his own kid (because he’s a good father, despite what some of you would like to believe, clearly you didn’t grow up with a parent trying to guilt you by traumadumping when you can barely understand it), so he also NEEDED the pills.

The thing is, i also had that mentality towards my mom for dealing with depression UNTIL i started experiencing it myself. Because it’s so hard to realize that your parents are also human beings, since they’re supposed to protect you, they’re supposed to have everything figured out, to be the shoulder you cry on.

But if i see another dumbass claim that he CHOSE to leave and made the wrong decision in Mastermind, i need you out of this fandom. The whole point of that was that he had no choice, was he supposed to throw away the man he fell in love with, his first friend, his first time that wasn’t for procreation, and the one who liberated him? Stolas is allowed to care for more than one person, and he deserves to be loved romantically by someone.

You’re being too harsh on Stolas because for whatever reason you hate an abuse victim finally having a say in how to live for once in their lives, adding on top of that the weird, underlying homophobia in some of your criticisms for him.

Also i have a bad taste in my mouth from Via only seemingly hating Stolas, despite having SEEN how shitty Stella is. Sure, she doesn’t know the full extent of the abuse, but she’s heard the yelling, she’s seen the throwing, the ridiculing, the insensitivity. And most likely that woman neglected Via as much as possible, because she also didn’t choose to have her, but unlike Stolas she didn’t give a fuck to take responsibility regardless. (Reminding you of the “You get up” comment from Loo Loo Land). This was all happening before the cheating, so that’s not an excuse for her behavior (not that the cheating was, but at least Via would have been able to reason with her reaction to it).

It’s a complicated situation and it’s so shitty to put all the blame on Stolas, he tried so much for his family, but it was never going to be enough, because he’s gay. I’m glad he got out of that marriage.

Honestly, had i been given all those responsibilities at his age in a loveless marriage, i would’ve gone insane. I wouldn’t have been kind to my child, the cause of my shit life. But he never saw her as a weight on his shoulders, he has so much love for Via.

#helluva boss #octavia #stolas #sinsmas #domestic violent relationships

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madamescarlette · 22 days ago

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#you guyssss for this one shiny little moment i literally am so happy in my work right now #crazywild to me because i have been SO miserable there at times #it's often been very good to me and it has made me so much more of a person #but it's been very hard too and it's raked my sense of self over the coals #but there are people there i love sooo much and i finally feel like i am doing a bit of good there!#i know i will certainly be down in the depths about it again but it's just so wonderful to come to a place where i feel like. competent #but mostly like i can do something good you know?? i just want to shout that out before it inevitably disappears.

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anthromimicry · 4 months ago

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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships #where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly #NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.

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itspileofgoodthings · 5 months ago

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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights #in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor #not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break #and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity #but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break #or even know how to do that #and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard #or too strenuously #to extend the metaphor to the limit #and I need !!!!!!! a rest day #vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer #because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things #and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol #and so the breaks are just built-in #but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail #and it’s so tiring #anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself #like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful #and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop #and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off #I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works #so stressfully going down a million thought paths #ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!

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vickyvicarious · 2 years ago

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I like how Jonathan liked his letter of recommendation so much that he went and transcribed the praises in his journal to remember forever.

"THIS TALENTED BOY HERE JUST GREW INTO MANHOOD UNDER MY CARE. HE WILL NOT FAIL TO DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE."

Jonathan: omg dad thinks I'm talented

HONESTLY. It's adorable of him. Like... I know I wrote that post about Dracula's takeaways, which are all horrible obviously. And I can see how people would take it as a weird way to phrase things/very open to sounding creepy from the get-go. But honestly, I think it was supposed to be pretty sweet.

“I must regret that an attack of gout, from which malady I am a constant sufferer, forbids absolutely any travelling on my part for some time to come; but I am happy to say I can send a sufficient substitute, one in whom I have every possible confidence. He is a young man, full of energy and talent in his own way, and of a very faithful disposition. He is discreet and silent, and has grown into manhood in my service. He shall be ready to attend on you when you will during his stay, and shall take your instructions in all matters.”

The initial expectation was for Mr. Hawkins to be the one coming, and Jonathan had to sub in. It's unclear exactly how long ago, but he did at least have time to do a little research about the area (as well as being involved in inspecting/choosing the property Dracula was buying; some of that may also have originally been Mr. Hawkins' job before it got delegated as he became too sick). Dracula has probably known for a little bit that someone named Jonathan Harker was coming instead of Mr. Hawkins, though probably not much more about him. @animate-mush had a funny post about how the specific wording Mr. Hawkins used may well have been meant to address specific concerns/desires of his client in regards to the type of employee he wanted. But even in doing so, I think everything he says is meant specifically as a compliment - possibly even in premature defense of Jonathan.

Some complaints that could be made (in general, not even by Dracula specifically): he's too young and inexperienced (we mostly all headcanon babyface Jonathan for a reason I think, and he's confirmed to be new to this specific role). He seems kind of retiring and quiet (there are spoilery quotes that support him giving off this impression, so it may have even been something someone objected to in the past at work for all we know). Can he be trusted to not talk about my business? What if I think of some new questions or need help with other paperwork while he's here, will he have the knowledge/willingness to handle that?

All of the things Mr. Hawkins says are kinda bringing up then discarding these objections. He's bragging hard, saying, I'm sick but my replacement is plenty good enough, I trust him completely. Sure, he looks young and quiet, but he is actually full of energy, trust me, he's gonna get the job done. He's loyal, he totally understands client confidentiality, he's gonna work super hard and will be sure to make up for any inconvenience of not having me there, and he can help you with whatever else you need. I practically raised him so I have trained him thoroughly and know all this from experience, he's gonna do great.

And Jonathan is absolutely super chuffed to hear it! Sure, the letter of introduction is a Thing with perhaps some established rules/expectations of format, and of course Mr. Hawkins isn't going to insult his own replacement, but perhaps he isn't usually this effusive. I kind of get the impression that Jonathan at least tries really hard to be grown-up and professional with his boss, despite also looking up to him as a father figure. And so not only being given this chance but getting to see a letter that proves how seriously Mr. Hawkins is taking him and how much faith he has in him... he's really really happy about it. Especially considering that he is brand new to all this, only recently having got confirmation that he passed his exam and is no longer a clerk.

This might be the first time in his career that he has been important enough to merit so official an introduction. It's possible that every other time has been more along the lines of "this is my clerk, Mr. Harker. You can entrust the documents to his care," or whatever. Much shorter, simpler, Jonathan more as an attachment to a more important employee than anyone notable in his own right. But that's not the case anymore! He's a solicitor now! And Mr. Hawkins thinks he is talented! (Dad is proud of him!)

#dracula daily #mr. hawkins #jonathan harker #anonymous #replies #i kind of imagine mr. hawkins thinking of jonathan as a son but not saying much along those lines out loud #he has mentored him and been kind to him and mina and everything #but never outright made it clear how much he loves them through words #and jonathan is never going to assume too far. so without that bigger proof he's more like 'mr. hawkins is very good to me. i think of him #like a second father' without getting into how exactly mr. hawkins views him in return #thus making the praise in the letter really nice to see bc hawkins just doesn't say those kinds of things too often in general #he more shows his trust in treating jonathan well/giving him advice or access to training/work that will help in his career

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