#it's not that i'm pushing harry down to bring louis up or anything

[stylinsoncity]

posting this long snippet from the time travel fic i've been writing.. might not make any sense out of context but oh well. i think i'll also post a penn park snippet too. just to confirm for you all that i'm alive and writing lol

“This isn’t Back to the Future, Lou. Everything that’s meant to happen has already happened. Nothing you say can really change that. But it’s bad form and technically violates witch law for us to, like…tell you next week’s winning lottery numbers or something.”

“But it’s not against the rules to bring me here?”

“No,” Harry says. “It’s not like you’ll be going out or interacting with anyone else. You’ll be staying with us.”

“Who’s us?”

Harry peeks at him. He hesitates for a while. “Um. Me…and my husband.”

Louis angles his body to face him. “Husband?”

Harry throws another skittish glance his way.

“So you’re actually…?” Louis wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. “When did you decide for sure you were…?”

“Gay?” Harry supplies. “Maybe it was when you kissed me.”

“You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back,” Harry says. “Enthusiastically.”

“Whatever. Is that genuinely when you knew? You started snogging boys exclusively from then on?”

“Well, I was snogging a girl just now before we left, as you saw. And a boy,” Harry says. “But yeah, I guess…not long after that party, I decided to stick to blokes. Or just…one, really.”

Louis nearly misses that last bit. “What?”

Harry turns the radio up. “That’s enough questions for now. And we’re almost home.”

Louis goes on staring at him for a bit longer, wondering if he’s understood correctly. Did Harry meet his husband at that party? Was it someone he met the following week? Was Louis that stupid to step aside and let whoever it was take his place? Apparently so.

The mood grows tenser from then on, mostly due to Louis’ adamant silence and sour mood, neither of which he can justify. Did he expect Harry to never marry? Did he expect Harry to marry him?

Louis snorts aloud and sees Harry sneak a look at him. He sinks further into his seat, arms crossed over his chest, and stares through the windscreen for the rest of the ride.

Within the next few minutes, the car slows and turns at the corner of a downward sloping drive. At the end of the drive, as Harry approaches, a garage door rises. Louis didn’t see Harry press any buttons but perhaps it’s automatic.

Then Louis sees him. Or himself. Or his older self. At first he doesn’t believe his eyes. He’s still expecting something dimension-shattering to occur when he’s face to face with a future version of himself. He expects to implode or for Future Louis to fade out of existence. None of that happens, but there’s no denying that the man standing at the door connecting the garage to the house is Louis, eleven years older.

“Trippy, isn’t it?” Harry says, as he cuts the engine. “Ready to meet your future?”

And well, Louis won’t say it aloud because he’d just sound like a dickhead, but his future is quite fit, so the answer is yes. He’s got an actual beard, as opposed to Louis’ vague facial hair. He seems more built and broad around his shoulders and torso. It’s hard to be sure when he’s backlit by the light flowing from the interior of Harry’s home, but even his hair seems shinier and softer. He’s wearing a dark grey knit jumper with the sleeves pushed to his elbows and Louis catches sight of several more tattoos, although he doesn’t get a good look at them before the Older Louis pulls his sleeves down.

Harry pushes his door open, so Louis does the same. And finally meets eyes with himself, unobstructed by the windscreen.

“Forgot how small I was,” Older Louis says and nothing more.

Louis wasn’t expecting to be best mates with his older self or anything, but perhaps they won’t be friends at all. “You’re not exactly Dwayne Johnson, mate.”

Harry snorts, pushing the car door closed. “Don’t start,” he says to Older Louis. He noticeably pats his stomach as he eases past him into the house. It registers as familiar or even flirty to Louis, which is odd but reassuring. At least in the future, in spite of Harry’s husband, they manage to retain their closeness. Harry’s husband must not love that, but clearly Older Louis can’t be arsed.

Louis hears a chorus of barks from further inside and moves more quickly and curiously, eager to see every aspect of Harry’s adult life.

“Shoes off,” Older Louis says to younger Louis at the door. He tacks on a smile. “If you’d be so polite.”

Louis narrows his eyes at him as he shoves his shoes off.

“Come on,” Older Louis says. “I’ll be your tour guide.”

“You don’t even live here,” Louis says.

Older Louis looks at him. “Right,” he says. “Harry just lets me kip here every night ‘cause I don’t have a home of my own.”

“Seriously?”

“The future is tough, mate,” Older Louis says gravely. But just as he turns away, there’s a nearly imperceptible wiggle of his lips that suggests he’d like to laugh.

Louis decides his older self is not to be taken seriously. He’ll get his facts from Harry. Speaking of whom, they find him when they enter the kitchen as he steps inside from the back garden.

“What happened to your dogs?” Louis asks.

“I let them out. Jasper is a senior and when he gets really excited, he wets himself,” Harry says. “And he’ll get really excited seeing two of you.”

“I gave him his meds,” Older Louis says. “Should be fine in a bit.”

“Thanks, babe,” Harry says. His gaze flickers suddenly to younger Louis like he forgot he was there. He clears his throat. “Um, do you want a beer? Or tea? Water?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Louis says.

“Do you like wine?” Harry asks. “I can’t remember if we drank wine at your age.”

“Never too early to start,” Older Louis says. “He’ll like the Malbec.”

“Malbec, it is,” Harry says and goes into a walk-in pantry where he ostensibly keeps the wine. Meanwhile, Older Louis gets three glasses from a cupboard above the sink. He’s really a bit too familiar with Harry’s home. Maybe he is here all the time. Maybe he really doesn’t have a home of his own. Compounded with his imminent death tomorrow, the future doesn’t seem all that bright for Louis. No matter how hot he is.

But his friendship with Harry is a lot to be grateful for. Louis watches Harry and his older self speaking quietly to each other as Harry fills each of the three glasses. He watches Harry laugh at whatever Older Louis says and slap his hand playfully against his chest.

Louis wonders again about Harry’s husband. He wants to ask where he is and when he gets home, but he also never wants him to come home. So long as he’s away, Louis can keep tricking himself into believing he doesn’t exist.

But then he spies the wedding ring on Harry’s finger as Harry hands him a glass of wine and he can’t stop himself from blurting, “Where is he?”

Harry’s brows crease. “Who?”

“Your husband,” Louis says, pointedly.

“Oh.” Harry chews his top lip for a moment. “Why don’t we get comfortable first? Come on.”

Then he takes Louis’ free hand and pulls him off towards the sunken living area. It hasn’t slipped his notice how posh the entire home is. The kitchen was a massive gleaming wonder of marble and bronze. There were five cars in the drive and the first room Louis passed upon entering the home was a gym. He didn’t get a good look at the exterior under the cover of night, but what he could see revealed an expansive upper floor and several outdoor decks.

The living area features two parallel velvet couches, a marble coffee table, and a large flat screen tv mounted above a two-way fireplace. Louis can’t quite tell what’s on the other side of the fireplace but it seems like a formal dining room.

“Your house is fucking amazing,” Louis says, plopping down in a plush leather armchair.

“Thanks,” Harry says, smiling. He sits on the couch across from Louis. “It’s the kind of house you grow into. That’s why we bought it.”

Louis nearly asks if that means Harry has kids, but he has a big greedy gulp of wine instead. He shrivels at the taste initially, finding it bitter and sharp. But then he has another sip and it’s not so much that he likes it, but that he finds it distracting.

Older Louis enters the room much to Louis’ disappointment and takes up the seat right beside Harry.

“I can still get you a beer,” Harry says randomly. “If you don’t like the wine.”

“No,” Louis says. “It’s fine.”

“If there’s anything else you need, just let me know,” Harry says. “I want you to be comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable enough, Haz,” says Louis. “It’s just nice to see where you live in the future, and how well you’ve done for yourself. You deserve all this. The husband, too.”

Older Louis exhales a laugh. “Should I get a box of tissues?”

“Shut up,” Harry says.

“Tell him to shut up,” Older Louis says. “This is embarrassing.”

“If you’re so embarrassed, just leave,” Louis says. “I don’t even get why you’re still here.”

Older Louis groans suddenly and loudly, pressing his fingertips into his eyelids. “There’s no way you’re this daft. No fucking way.”

“Louis,” Harry says. “Please.”

[alarrytale]

I have my theories as to why it's happening though

Can you share some theories? I can only think that they want free promo but I don't think it's worth it.

Can you share what is your theory why this is happening?thanks

Hi, both of you!

Sure! So there is a couple of things i'm absolutely sure of. This was set up and planned. The syndicated articles also tell me it's being pushed. They want this information out there. I'm also sure that this is coordinated with H's team, since he's implicated here and it affects his image too. So why do they want the information out there? Here are some thoughts;

Louis is on a radio promo tour to sell tickets to his tour. A denial could be to gain attention on himself to sell tickets. What speaks against it is that he did it in larryland aka latam where this won't work as planned, and none of the articles mention Louis is on tour or have tickets to sell. The headlines says it irritates him and he sounds like a pissbaby. Fangirls on the internet think he's dating international superstar, Harry Styles makes him irritated and annoyed? Why does he care so much that he has to deny it over and over again? So what kind of promo is this really? His team could be hoping for his tour being mentioned in the articles, but they didn’t get what they wanted.

He did another denial just six months ago, parmageddon. There is nothing that's triggered the need for a new denial every six months. He needed the attention back then to sell tickets and the presscoverage he got from it did mention he was touring. But this time around it's all larry focused...

Doing a denial every six months will draw attention to something he and Harry shouldn't want attention on. He gets to confirm his narrative that he's F's dad, but doing a denial like this just makes more people interested in the conspiracy theories. They also wonder why he's doing denials so frequently. He's creating more people who'll be interested in the rumours. He's saying don't look, and people will look. They won't buy tickets to his tour, but they will go down the rabbit hole.

What image is he going for? He's connecting himself to H in the media by deliberately pushing it, but also trying to disconnect from him by doing the denial? Distancing himself from H is in accordance with his image, he shouldn't want this attention on himself while trying to appeal to straight indie lads.

So are they attempting to quell the rumours and confirm his public narrative, or is he doing this for another reason? Louis is the one burdened with doing denials for the both of them, so is H about to do something really gay? Is he doing a pre-emptive denial and doing it for Harry?

He's done it twice in six months. Larry brings him a lot of attention. Are they changing things and starting to use larry for promo, or are they wanting eyes on larry because they are working towards a coming out (dare i say it, seeding)? The gay newsites are being super sarcastic, page six used manips, the media isn't siding with Louis on this. They either portray him as someone who's fans irritate him, or they're making fun of him. It isn't helping his reputation or image. It also isn't helping him gain new fans (of his portrayed image).

Things like this make long term larries tired. He always throws us under the bus. He is risking losing fans over this. At one point larries are going to reach their limit and stop buying what he's selling (but still be larries of course).

He's said he came to the conclusion that he can't do anything about it a couple of years ago. He said so be it. He's still doing denials, but he kind of sounds like this is the last time he'll address it and try to stop it? I don't believe this for a second for several reasons, so when is the next one? Next time he's got something to sell? Or?

Will this prompt H to finally respond and they'll double down? Going deeper in the closet?

So it could be several things. If it was just promo i'm really questioning if they're know what they're doing...they are taking some big risks here.

[kandadiff]

Larger Than Life: Drama in the Red Room (2)

I had known Louis for awhile now, and I knew how possessive and frankly jealous he could be. I didn't mind much when that side of him came out at the crazy directioners who hated me for no reason or when paparazzi got a little to out of hand. But it had no reason to be out when I was casually drinking my fruity drink and chatting to the girls of Black pink and a few of the boys of BTS. Instead of letting me be, he took me by my hands and pulled me up and toward the corner of the VIP section.

"What the hell, Louis!?" I shouted at him rubbing my wrist. "Whats your problem?"

"I'm keeping you from looking like a slag." he said eyeing the confused BTS group about 20 feet away. I pushed him away and he sighed leaning towards me and whispering "What about Liam?"

I looked at him for a moment surprised he didn't know. I knew him and Liam got into tiffs a few times but since I had been with him - it was few and far in between. "We broke up."

He rolled his eyes. "yeah, and tomorrow he'll bring you flowers and-"

"No, no" I shook my head. "We're done, like forever." He rolled his eyes again and I sucked my teeth. "We are. He tried to ruin my career-" he shook his head. "He did- Zayn heard him talk to-

"Is what he even did so bad?" Louis shrugged and I looked at him like he was crazy. Did he know? "I hate even seeing you here." he motioned all around us. "Fame is hard, you know, you're always under a microscope, your privacy doesn't exist and not everyone can handle it in a healthy way, its way different from Japan fame, love. I mean look around you - look at how people cope. And as much as you try to hide it," he held my chin in his hand tenderly. "You're a sensitive soul, thats why we love you. We were just keeping you safe, honestly I didn't even want you to come on this show-" All at once it crashed down on me. This wasn't just a Liam idea. This was an organized plan - Louis, my best friend in this band, and Liam, my partner of two years, stabbed me in my back. Both conspired against me, both knew what making it meant for me,. Both knew the agreement I had with my parents and both knew I was trying to do it on my own. And they purposely ignored that, worked against me as top dogs currently in this industry and smiled in my face assuring me they had no idea why all of my promotions were cut.

I looked over to the other boys. Zayn had spilled the secret and assured me he has no idea 'I have more respect for you then that.' He said 'I wanted you to know.' Niall wasn't a good liar and he hated directly talking to the people in charge. Harry might have known, he was good at keeping secrets but he was dating Kitty, my best friend, surely he couldn't keep it from her without her noticing.

"Liam and I were protecting you. We know what its like, and you don't need all this recognition. Look at Danielle, she hated constantly being in the spotlight - now she is miserable. Perrie can barely handle it. Eleanor quit modeling because it was too much." He looked at me with sympathy and I felt the anger inside me bubbling and boiling up "I'm just telling you what your parents won't - I mean look at your brother-"

My hand grabbed a drink from a passing waiter, I threw the drink right in his face - attempting to contain my anger even if it was a little bit. He jerked back, scrunching his face and rubbing his eyes of the strong liquor. "Don't speak about my fucking brother you weak fucking loser! I'm not some fucking doll that you and your idiot bitch friends can play with and put back whenever you want!"

He scoffed "You think lashing out is going to get you anything?" He wiped his face and growled his words. " Look at those trash slags that came in this morning. They won't be anything either! Just like you! I knew it and Liam knows it too!"

I hadn't realized the small audience we had acquired but it was Harry who stepped in. He put up his hands "hey, I don't know what's going on here but lets step back and-"

"No!" Louis shouted "The stupid bitch wants to throw drinks lets get it all out then! Remember what I know!" He spat at me.

"Remember what I know!" I threatened back approaching him. Harry put his hand out to keep me from getting any closer. Louis and I glared at each other then he laughed and shook his head. "You're an embarrassment who's only talent is in bed-"

"You fucking piece of shit!" I swung making contact with Louis cheek. His head jolted back and I rushed toward him pushing him into the wall. His head hit the cement and he let out a yelp. I swung again and i heard an audience gathering around me. Harry tried to wedge himself between Louis and me, I swung at Louis again hitting Harry in his collarbone accidentally. Louis shouted at me, cursing at me while trying to grab at my hands. He pushed Harry off of him causing the taller boy to crash into me. I stumbled back but a hand steadied me.

"Whoa! Whoa!" It was Hoseok, who just moment before Louis pulled me away I was chatting with. He pulled me back, Namjoon quickly stepping in front of me.

"You were going to hit her?" Namjoon asked and Louis realizing cameras were around stood straight.

"Of course not!" He said straightening out his crinkled shirt. "but it's between me and her"

~

Robin watched Tyler eye him and Makayla as they laughed and drank. He thought it was hilarious, the jealous snarl that overcame Tylers features, though his hands were currently up the skirt of Bella. Makayla bought him another drink and he slipped another $20 bill in her purse ignoring her arguing that it was on her. He made sure Makayla didn't see Tylers tryst - not yet at least. instead he positioned her with her back to her boyfriend.

You, however, noticed Tylers indiscretions and feeling bold with the liquor heating up your system you walked over. Besides, you of course noticed the tall, brooding man next to her. Kali noticed to and she was drunker then you which is why she just blurted out "Why do you let your man feel up other bitches?" You could tell Makayla was taken off guard completely and her smile faded immediately. Robin glared at Kali as though silently scolding her for bringing it up when she was having a good time. You elbowed her but she shrugged. "What? It's true."

"We ugh-" a wave of sadness overcame her, a side effect of the high emotions from the drugs. "We have a..ummm.. sort of open relationship." You frowned at the unhappiness in her voice, it was clear she was uncomfortable... was it because she didn't want to talk about it? or because the arrangement wasn't her idea? "Flirting is fine, touching is fine just no.. umm .. penetrative action."

"what's that mean?" Kali asked looking down at her drink then downing it. "Sex right? I don't know how you could do that" she laughs not picking up on how uncomfortable the taller girl was. Makayla lets out a small uncomfortable laugh and runs her hands through her hair. She looked at Robin who looked at you to get your friend.

"I'm ... I have to use the bathroom. Excuse me." The three of you watched Makayla disappear into the crowd.

"Good job." Robin mumbled lighting up a cigarette but before you could respond. You saw Andrew, a man you never saw far away from another boy named Robert, approaching.

"Yo, your girl is getting in a fight." Your ears perked up at that. You looked up at Robin's confused face but then he nodded and followed Andrew, you followed them too dragging Kali with you. Who was his girl?

You followed Robin towards the end of the VIP section. Harry stood next to Harry while you saw that I stood behind some of the BTS boys.

"You were going to hit her?" Namjoon asked. You watched Robin's eyes darkened.

"Of course not!" Louis said straightening out his crinkled shirt. "but it's between me and her. She hit me! I don't want to fight!"

"I do." Robin growled. You found yourself smiling watching as Robin's fist made contact with Louis cheek. The brit went down, hitting the cold, drink stained floor of the club. Harry tried to pull Robin off of him but instead Robin jumped right on Louis back pushing his face into the ground. Niall now trying to pull him off of Louis as well but robin wasn't moving. "I warned you, Lewis." Robin barked "I fucking warned you." He sounded so calm, no yelling, no shouting. His deep voice calm as he pushed a screaming Louis face in the ground.

"Get off!" Edward helped his brother yank Robin off of the oldest member of the boy group.

"Kay!" Niall shouted and you watched me quickly moving over towards where Liam stood. You could tell he just arrived and that he had no idea what he just walked in on.

"You fucking prick!" I grabbed a nearby pool stick and marched towards Liam. "YOU AND FUCKING LOUIS HUH? FOR YEARS?!" Before I could swing the pool stick - a security guard yanked it from my hands. Another one picked me up and I saw Robin was being manhandled too.

"What the hell?" Maddy frowned from next to you. "Who called security?"

"I did." Jennie said obviously looking at Shawn who was trying to talk to one of the guards and me, robin and Louis were escorted out of the club. "Duh."

~

[adcresyou]

"you've come to realize that, lou," harry repeated those words, feeling like they made his point. "we didn't know at the time that it would keep on fucking going. that it would get to a point where we just had to accept that it's something we can't do anything about." he paused, looking at louis intensely as he played with the rings that donned his own fingers. a nervous reflex, and after a moment he looked down at his own fingers as they danced nervously. "we couldn't have solved anything together, we were kids. we couldn't even solve this now," there's an element of honesty to it - of over-dramatic doom. mostly because it made harry feel better to frame their loss of friendship like it was inevitable and try and push away the part of harry that felt solely responsible. but as soon as louis said 'you owe me that much', harry knew that it was something he had to face. a few ticks of silence passed between them - time which harry spent trying to figure out if louis was really asking. surely he already knew ? but as the younger man mapped the sincerity in the question, he had to admit to himself that maybe louis actually didn't. harry stood up, not able to sit facing each other like that and still embarrassed for his eighteen - twenty year old self for fucking up so badly. "fuck, lou, you're really gonna make me say it ? really ?" a beat of silence as his feet carried him a small distance, putting some much needed space between them. as though if they were further apart then louis wouldn't sense the embarrassment. he ended up leaning over the back of an armchair across the room, just far enough away to feel like he could breathe. "fuck it, lou, i was into you. like... really fuckin' into you." he stood up straight, trying to bring some dignity back into his confession now that it was out in the open. "it was my fault because they didn't see nothing. all of that shit that you had to take from people, that you still have to take from people, is because i was so obvious. and god, i'm so fucking sorry. i thought if people could see it when we interacted, the only thing i could do would be to not talk anymore. not give them anything. and i thought you knew that i felt that way." a beat of silence where harry realised he was still unsure. "did you know ? don't fuck with me, lou."

this conversation just brought back all the memories of when they first started with the band. louis had felt this urge to protect harry, like the oldest looking after the youngest. they even went and lived together. he had made a promise to anne to always look after harry, no matter what. and it had just created this bond between them, something he hadn't even had with any of his childhood friends. maybe it was a bit of this big brother complex because he had always been very protective of his sisters too while growing up and he still is eventhough they're grown up women now. two even having children of their own. looking at harry, there was just something not right. it felt as if he wasn't telling him the entire story. it was a feeling he couldn't shake.

"it never felt that way to me. you were me friend, me best friend actually. no matter what they said or what was written about us, i would never just ditch you all of a sudden. yeah, it was tough sometimes and it angered me the way they treated eleanor. or even now, it gets very personal when they add freddie into it. but i've also come to realize that there's nothing i can do about it. i've tried but seems like whenever i make a comment, it fuels them even more or they just hate me. they live in their own little world and guess it's easier to ignore it." shrugging, the only times he would actually comment on it again is if they were being unfair and including his son and loved ones. "you weren't. you should've come to me back then. you should've told me what was going through your mind. we could've solved that together." shaking his head, part of him understood harry taking the easy way out but that didn't make it any better. "you're saying all these things but you still haven't answered as to why you think it's your fault. don't avoid it anymore. don't take the coward way out. be honest with me here. you owe me that much."

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Summary: Y/N applies to be a styling intern for the One Direction crew during the Where We Are tour. As she gets better at her job and closer to the band and crew (especially Harry Styles), some of her dreams seem to be coming true, but so are some of her fears.

A/N: Here we go! It's starting to get a bit juicy! This chapter was exciting and basically wrote itself.

Disclosures: Some language, alcohol consumption, intimate physical contact, small amount of angst

~~~~~

CHAPTER 4 -

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

August 29th, 2014 - Concert Day

About a week and a half goes by. One Direction had shows in Houston, Dallas, and St. Louis. You didn't see much of Harry besides his quick changes in the dressing room.

You are hoping to run into Harry today and apologize for your last interaction. You had been in a bad mood from the hangover, but also from trying to push down your sudden, inopportune feelings for him. You want to apologize and ask to be friends.

But deep down, there's a tinge of desire for something more- to have more of those amazing conversations… to see that big dimpled smile… to maybe even hear him call you Sunshine.

You know you shouldn't care. You know you shouldn't want those things. You barely know each other and you are kidding yourself if you think he would like you more than a friend. But you want to be friends, at least. So, you keep trying to tell yourself to get a grip and bottle up those feelings. Friends is all it could be. He is Harry Styles after all.

[The charming, good-looking, easy-going, thoughtful Harry Styles… damn it]

You immediately go looking for him when you arrive at Soldier Field. You brought a peace offering of coffee, and a mini fruit tart you found at the nearby bakery.

You find him sitting on the edge of the stage, by himself, scrolling through his phone.

"Hey." You pull yourself up to sit next to him.

"Hey Y/N. What's up?" This is the first time you've ever seen a melancholy look on his face.

"So… well, I- I just…" you growl at yourself as you fumble over your words and take a deep breath.

"I was terrible to you the other week. I'm so sorry. As we are both now aware, I don't do well with hangovers. I'm usually fine the next morning, but I think this tour schedule caught up to me or something."

You haven't looked him in the eyes yet, but you know he's looking at you, you can feel it.

You continue. "You did something so nice for me and I just snapped back at you. You didn't deserve that, and I'm very sorry."

He still hasn't said anything which makes you a bit nervous. So you reach down next to you.

"I brought you a black coffee and mini fruit tart as a peace offering. I hope you can forgive me."

That's when his real smile shows up again. He takes it and looks up to say, "Fruit tart for my forgiveness? Deal." He takes a bite and smiles in approval.

"And I really hope we can be friends."

He's silent, and takes another bite. He lets out a little sigh, sounding almost disappointed, but smiles and answers, "yeah, we can be friends. I never thought we weren't."

"Oh good. Because I can't ever trust anyone else to bring me a breakfast wrap as good as the one you gave me." You joke.

He chuckles back, as you squeeze his arm [big mistake to touch his bicep] and swing yourself off the stage.

"See ya later rockstar."

"See you later Y/N."

[Still no Sunshine… but at least you're friends]

~~~~~

August 30th, 2014 - Concert Day

:niall: good morning superstar! me and the boys are having a little hotel rooftop party after the show to kick off the little break we're gonna have. wanna join?

:you: after last time??

:niall: what was wrong with last time?

:you: nothing, i guess, but the day after wasn't so great

:niall: cuz of the headache? or being a meany to harry?

[Harry must've told him. Damn]

:you: you know I'm in charge of what you wear out there tonight, right?

:niall: come on… please…?

You think for a few minutes. You won't have work the next day, and you won't see the guys for over a week, so what's the harm?

:you: okay bud. i'll be there.

:niall: good, the other girls already said yes :) and harry too. he's excited.

You can't tell if your body reacts out of nerves or butterflies. Probably both.

:you: yay!

[Reel it back in, keep your cool]

:you: yay… we all get to hang out tonight!

:niall: yup. us guys, the glamour girls, plus you and harry :)

:you: you're going on stage tonight dressed as a Teletubby

~~~~~

Your headphones are in again, for a distraction, and you work away to the musical stylings of ABBA.

(Mamma Mia)

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, now I really know

My, my, I could never let you go"

The song ends and as you wait for the next one to start, you hear a subtle applause behind you. The most heated and brightest red rushes to your cheeks and you instantly bring both hands directly to your face. [Oh shit, who is it? How long have they been there? No, no, no]

You turn around, hands still covering your face. You separate a few fingers to peek through and your heart stops.

"Been holding out on us?" You can just barely make out that dimpled smirk spread across Harry's face.

"Oh god. Oh my god. This is so embarrassing!"

He just chuckles.

"How much did you hear?" Your hands move from over your eyes onto your overwhelmingly flushed cheeks.

His smile gets wider. "I think it was, uh, since around the second verse…"

He coughs to clear his throat, and adds, "you were just in the zone, I couldn't interrupt."

"You definitely could have!" You exclaim.

"Yeah, but I- I didn't want to." He coughs again and looks down. He quickly changes the subject. "Umm, do you have any button ups I could wear tonight?

"Yeah, there's two here. I thought you were going with the green t-shirt though?" You hold up the options.

"Oh. Umm... I meant- I meant for the thing tonight." He furrows his brow and bites his lower lip as he brings his hand to his face. "Which one do you like?" He asks.

Without hesitation, you give him a thin, plain white button up shirt. "Honestly, this one. It's not bold like your usual but I actually really like it." [Plus, his tattoos could be seen through it a little… oh geez…]

"If you say so! I'll take it." He says, taking the hanger from you. "So, are you going to be there?"

"Yep," you quickly reply. "Are you?" You scrunch your face. [Stupid. He just said he needed a shirt for it]

"Told you I didn't want to miss out on the next one. And damn it, I won't miss out!" He laughs.

Then you laugh.

"Hopefully it'll be a night worth a headache the next morning!" Instantly looking as if he didn't mean to just say that.

Natalie thinks your comments before had made him think you didn't care to be around him. Of course you want to be around him. That was the problem though… you wanted to be around him a lot. More than a tour intern should. More than just a friend should.

"Good friends, good drinks, and good music?… definitely worth it." You give him a smirk.

[Hopefully you can get your heart to cooperate]

He starts to smile. And maybe even blush a little. "Good. I'll see you there." He pauses and looks at the shirt in his hands. "You know, I won't be in a t-shirt and head scarf, so it might be hard to recognize me."

You laugh. "Right, because you definitely blend into a crowd, Mr. Harry Styles of One Direction" and you roll your eyes.

His dimples cave in even deeper with a mischievous grin.

"Game on. You're gonna have to come and find me tonight." He winks and walks away, leaving you to wonder how you're ever going to tame the butterflies currently dancing around in your stomach.

As he is almost to the door, he flips his hand up and waves with his back still facing you. "See you later, Mia!"

"Mia?!"

He giggles and starts down the hallway. As you try to catch him to ask what he meant, you hear him singing:

(Mamma Mia)

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why, why did I ever let you go?

Mamma mia, now I really know

My, my, I could never let you go"

[Shit… you're in trouble, aren't you?]

~~~~~

You four girls complete your post-show tasks in record time and Amelia busts up laughing as she walks in. "Damn!" then she smirks, "have fun plans or something…?" She knows. She leaves the loading up to the other crew members and lets you go.

Each one of you had your outfit laid out since the morning, well aware that there are four of you in one room, with limited time to get ready.

Tonight's outfit needed to fit the vibe- a little dressed up but not trying too hard. You put on a white cross front halter top bodysuit (nice and form-fitting) paired with some light denim skinny jeans. You finish it off with your favorite blue ankle boots, blue earrings, and give your hair a nice beachy wave style.

It's a miracle that you all got ready quickly, and still have time to spare. You grab a few bottles from the mini bar so you can 'cheers' to a great tour so far and a fun night ahead!

"And cheers to the guys of One Direction!" Natalie adds as she very obviously winks at you.

Sarah rolls her eyes, "oh geez, let's go."

~~~~~

You are blown away when you walk out to the rooftop area. White couches with large pillows line the walls all the way around the space. Lights are strung up between the building and the posts on the banisters. Purple lights shine against the bar and the cityscape stands out there as the perfect backdrop.

There are already quite a few people there. A lot more than you expected. [So much for a 'little' rooftop party]

Niall runs up to you, beer in hand and a huge grin on his face. "Yay! M'girls are here!" He corrals you in for a big group hug. "Bar is over there," he points out, "and the cool people are sitting on the couches in the back corner." You all look to see Zayn, Liam, and Louis sitting there chatting with the band.

Niall stands shoulder to shoulder with you, and whispers, "except Harry." He chuckles, "good luck" and walks over to greet some new guests that are arriving.

You shake your head and follow your friends as they make their way over to the 'cool couch'. While everyone chats about the inappropriate signs they read tonight, you try to subtly scan faces for Harry. Nothing. You're only partially listening to their conversation. You're just trying to find those piercing green eyes and that cheeky wide grin.

You're not having much luck, so decide to make your way over to the bar. [Maybe he changed his mind]. You slump over slightly with that unfortunate thought.

Waiting for your margarita, you feel a tap on your shoulder. You instantly perk up and twirl around, only to be met with the gaze of a stranger.

"Hi!" He bursts out. "Y/N right?"

You just nod your head, expecting to see someone else.

"I'm Levi. I'm an intern on the sound crew. You probably don't remember but you helped us out one day setting up our equipment."

You rack your brain trying to pull up the memory and suddenly remember chatting with some of the sound crew about movies. "Oh right. Secret 'Titanic' fan, right?"

"Yeah, emphasis on the word secret." He nervously laughs.

"Oops! Noted."

"How's everything been going for you?" He asks.

"It's been great! Busy, and crazy, but great!" You reply, but take a sip from the margarita you were just handed, to subtly scan the party again.

"Same. I'm looking forward to some days off. But I'm glad this party is happening, so I can catch up with people I haven't seen in a while…" his voice trails off. Maybe he is hinting at something, or waiting for a response, or maybe senses that you're distracted…

But he most likely stops because somebody has suddenly appeared behind you as soon as those words leave his mouth.

"Hey mate, I'm Harry." A long, tattooed arm reaches out from behind you to shake Levi's hand.

"Levi" he replies, "nice to meet you man." He looks over to you and suggests catching up with you another time. You nod and turn around towards Harry.

With a triumphant smile, he declares, "I win!"

"What do you mean?"

"I found you!"

"I thought I was the one who was supposed to find you?" You laugh.

"You were taking too long." Harry declares.

You scoff in protest. "I just got here!"

"Yeah, and you were taking too long." He repeats.

"You just suck at playing this little game that you created." You argue.

You indulge in some more sips of margarita and you both walk over to where you had originally left your friends.

There aren't many open seats left on the L-shaped couch, so you end up on one end, with Harry across on the other. He smiles and focuses his attention on Sarah, who has engrossed everyone with a story about her trips to France. He is so good at giving his attention to whoever is talking, and she's got so many interesting things to say.

That's when you get the first good look at him. He has on the white button up shirt you gave him. The buttons seem to be more of a suggestion to him, since the shirt was open all the way down to his butterfly tattoo. His cross necklace dangles right down the middle of his chest. He has his usual black skinny jeans and brown boots, with a matching brown hat sitting on top of that crazy, curly hair. [Why does he have to be so beautiful?]

You start to worry that you won't be able to keep your composure. You tell yourself that it's nothing more than a friendship, and you don't want to mess that up. Not the new friendship, and not your internship. So you turn your attention to Sarah too.

For a split second, you catch his gaze out of the corner of your eye. He is looking at you with the most beautiful and subtle smile.

[Just have fun tonight. You're allowed to have fun! Just don't get wasted so you can keep your cool]

~~~~~

You've had another margarita now. You're not drunk, but your nagging thoughts have dissipated. Once again, the entire couch ends up belting out the lyrics to anything and everything the DJ is playing. Niall does a drunken Irish jig to at least half of them. Sarah enthusiastically agrees to playing 'Spin the Bottle', pouting a little after realizing it was a joke.

Suddenly Natalie insists that you girls get up and dance. She manages to convince Liam to join, and Niall has basically been doing it the whole time so he just hops along behind you all. Harry stays behind with Zayn and Louis. He is leaning forward, arms rested on his knees, smiling as he watches you all probably make complete fools of yourselves.

About three songs in and you notice he left the couch. You play it cool and go back to jumping around to 'Summer' by Calvin Harris. As the DJ transitions to the next song, your eyes find Harry and your heart drops a bit. He is walking back to the couch, talking with Sarah, who had slipped away to the bar during the last song. [Well, now you know why he left the couch]

You can't seem to take your eyes off of them as they get closer to your group's spot. You hear the song transitioning again and a remixed version of a familiar melody starts to play. Your eyes shoot over to the DJ, and then shoot your eyes back to Harry. He ends his conversation with her as completely turns in your direction, and he hurriedly sits back down. He's biting his lower lip. And suddenly you understand why.

(Mamma Mia)

"Look at me now, will I ever learn

I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control

There's a fire within my soul

…

Mamma mia, here I go again

My, my, how can I resist you?

Mamma mia, does it show again

My, my, just how much I've missed you?"

You look at Harry, mouth open wide, laughing in disbelief. He has the biggest smile on his face, and you match it instantly.

Natalie motions for him to join you but he shakes his head. You poke out your tongue and go back to dancing. When the song is over, you look over to him, tell the group you need a water break, and head over to the bar. Harry comes up right next to where you're waiting.

"Enjoying yourself?"

You let out a breathless giggle. "Absolutely!" Then you meet his eyes and grin. "Thanks for the song!"

He shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about. Must be the DJs favorite or something".

You grab the waters and he points to a vacant corner of the rooftop. "I just need a bit of quiet right now." He rests his forearms on the railing and you copy his stance, looking out at the city.

He presses his face into his shoulder closest to you and mutters, "umm… so has it been worth the impending headache so far?"

You drop your head, realizing he may have been thinking about that the whole time, and trying to make the night fun for you.

"It could end now and it would be one of the best nights ever!"

"I don't want it to end just yet." He quickly replied.

"Me either!" You smile. "I mean, I'm just hitting my stride on the dance floor!" You turn your whole body to face him, those beautiful green eyes staring right back at you, and then your gaze turns upwards towards his hat.

You get a bold, cheeky idea and quickly grab his hat, placing it on your own head. You take one step back and do an embarrassing little model pose. He instinctively runs his hand through his hair to fix it, and when he peers back at you, his expression gives you the most tender feelings.

His eyes graze from his hat down to your feet, and back to the hat, getting a good look at you.

"You look really cute in my hat." He says with a timid tone.

"Because it's your hat."

"No…" He manages, "because you are the one wearing it."

You nervously gulp as he brushes a piece of hair out of your face. You are fixated on his eyes, as they flicker between yours and your lips. His hands reach up to meet your jawline and you step closer to him, bringing your hands to his chest. He pushes the hat up higher on your head and brings his face as close to yours as possible. You can feel his labored breath on your lips and suddenly become aware of what's happening. You start overthinking things again.

"Harry," you whisper.

"Yeah?" He whispers back.

But you stop yourself from stopping it. You can't kid yourself anymore, you really want it.

"Please kiss m-" and with that his lips softly connect in the most affectionate kiss. He pulls back gauging your reaction, and as you let out a subtle moan (eyes still closed), he smashes his lips back into yours, with a lot more passion this time.

His eyes are still closed too when he pulls away, letting out a strong exhale as he smiles. "What about now?"

"What?"

"Is tonight worth the impending headache tomorrow?"

"Hmmm…" you pretend to ponder.

He laughs, taking his hat back and giving you a quick peck on the lips before turning around. "Come on, Sunshine, let's get back."

~~~~

No one seemed to have noticed your coinciding absence, but once Sarah realized that Harry was back, she insisted that he sit next to her and finish their conversation.

You stay and talk with everyone for an hour or so more, exchanging bashful smirks with Harry whenever your eyes meet. You take some group photos together, and Harry's hand wraps around your waist as he squeezes in next to you. Your knees feel weak from the touch. As desperate as you are to not let the night end, every moment of the day is now weighing your body down and you know you need to get to bed. Everyone exchanges hugs, says their farewells, and as you lean into Harry's embrace he whispers, "it was worth it for me too," sneaking one last peck on your cheek.

[You're done. Absolutely done]

The four of you girls make it back down to your room, and once you finally plop down on your bed, you see some text notifications on your phone.

:unknown: hey sunshine, lemme know you got back to your room

:unknown: umm, this is harry by the way

*changed contact info*

:you: back safe

:harry: good

:harry: i didn't want tonight to end

:you: me either :/

Your heavy eyelids start to uncontrollably flutter closed.

:harry: what time are you headed home tomorrow?

:harry: y/n?

:harry: g'night mia xx

:harry: <video attached>

- -

:niall: i gave harry your number, shoulda asked you first. guess you weren't a meany this time ;)

:niall: ps. he seemed really happy tonight y/n

~~~~~

August 31st, 2014

You have a headache when you wake up, but you barely notice it over the butterflies still in your stomach.

You open your texts and read what you'd missed, then open the video Harry had sent after you fell asleep. You hear 'Mamma Mia' playing in the background and see yourself twirling around on the dance floor like a fool. You smile when you hear him letting out cute little chuckles as he watches you.

[He took a video of you. Of a fun surprise he did for you. It's so precious. He… he really does like you?]

All of a sudden you hear the *ping* from your text notifications.

:harry: headache?

:you: don't even care

:harry: so… worth it?

:you: so worth it!

:harry: wanna get some coffee?

:you: all i have to wear are sweats for the plane.

:harry: okay, but wanna get some coffee?

You smirk at how he doesn't seem to care what you're wearing and you start to type out a 'yes', but just then Amelia's words start ringing in your ears… 'I just wouldn't get involved with anything' and you suddenly panic.

:you: i still need to pack. sorry.

:harry: oh okay. well, you're headed back to L.A too right? maybe we can meet up there soon.

Your heart sinks a little as you send your reply.

:you: yeah, maybe.

You put down your phone and focus your attention on getting all ready to leave.

You may have shared a kiss last night, a wonderful and passionate kiss, but you shouldn't get involved any further. It's not a good idea for either of you. It's for the best.

[So why do you feel so disheartened?]

~~~~~

Sitting on the airplane, you feel sick. It could because you hate flying, but you know its because of him. How you desperately wanted that coffee with him, how you wanted to kiss him again, how you wanted to lounge around with him up until the last second before you had to leave. And then of course, how you can't have him.

"Y/N/N, are you okay?" Natalie asks softly.

You nod your head and squeeze your eyes shut.

"Is it the flying thing?" She asks.

You want to tell her. You can't lie to your best friend. So you just shrug your shoulders as she places her hand over yours, giving it a slight squeeze.

You feel a tiny tear start to form at the corner of your eye and she whispers, "we can talk about it later if you want to, 'kay?"

You nod, and try to keep calm as the plane takes off.

When it finally levels out, and the seatbelt sign turns off, you start to relax a tiny bit. Natalie turns to you, but right then Sarah pops her head up from the seat behind you.

"Was last night amazing or what?!" She giggles.

You close your eyes again, so Natalie replies, "it was something else!"

"I had such a good conversation with Harry!" She beams. "He went somewhere for a bit, but when he came back he immediately started it up again!" She lets out a swooning sigh. "Can you imagine… Harry Styles giving you his attention basically the whole night?"

[If she only knew how amazing it really felt]

Jade, in the seat next to her, interjects, "don't you have a boyfriend?"

Then Sarah sighs, disappointedly. "Yeah… I was gonna end it before I left but he's so into me so I didn't do it." She lets out a dismissive laugh.

You didn't think you could feel more sick until now.

She adds, "but he's no Harry Styles!"

Without thinking, you say, "no one else is."

You hear Sarah quietly grunt and then sit back down in her seat. When you finally open your eyes and turn to Natalie, you see a concerned but sympathetic look displayed all over her face.

"Later?" She asks, referring to having a talk.

You nod your head then pull out your phone. You have two new text messages.

:niall: we all definitely need to do that again when we can. was i doing 'lord of the dance' moves at some point? please say you don't have proof ;)

You chuckle as much as you can muster, then open up the other message.

:harry: i had a really good time. hope you did too. have a safe flight xx

[Why did you have to cross that boundary and kiss him? Why did it have to feel so perfect? And why can't you stop thinking about doing it again?]

You squeeze your eyes shut and they stay like that all the way back to L.A. For the first time since you joined the tour, you can't wait to be back home.

~~~~~

Series Masterlist || Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

Taglist: @watermelonsugacry

[beyondxmeasure]

Find A Word - WIP Game

Feeling pretty good about myself that I'm responding to this tag within this century...LOL! I knew it would take me a while to gather my WIPS and words, but here I am. Thanks for the tag @zanniscaramouche

I don't know who else has already played/been tagged or whatever, as always play if you wanna, ignore if you don't. ✌️💙

Tagging at random... @homosociallyyours @larrydoinglaundry @larrieblr @parmahamlarrie @freestylinson @sitandadmire @fearlesslysweetcreature @canyoncurl @vlnylstyles @creamcoffeelou @tommokat @louandhazaf @hazzabeeforlou @haztobegood @kingsofeverything @allwaswell16 @othercinemastan @finelinegynandromorph @louistomlionson @adoremelikeasunflower19 @jaerie @londonfoginacup @princelyharry @thinlinez @zjofierose @evilovesyou @fallinglikethis @lululawrence @brightgolden @berzerkshires

My Words: Feel - Sound - Neck - Home

Your Words To Find: Surprise - Method - Award - Cage - Pleasure

Use all 5 if you want (if you have that many WIPs!), or mix and match... have fun!

✂️ Snippets under the cut because... 🙊 some are naughty 🙊

FEEL

Push A Button and Rewind- A 1990's AU Part Two of Arcades & Lemonade Series

An amusement park line brings them together. Their paths align again at the same summer cottages for a weeklong summer vacation after sharing a brief kiss in the tunnel of the Big Dipper. It might’ve been just a kiss on a coaster, but Harry wants more. Time isn’t on his side, and the skater boy staying next door isn’t making it easy. With nothing in common, they drive each other crazy, yet something pulls them together at every turn. Free-spirited Harry’s determined to make the most of the week, breaking down Louis’ walls over surf lessons, pancake breakfasts and late-night bonfire hangouts with new friends. But out of everyone they’ve met, Harry doesn’t expect it to be another girl getting in the way. 

Coming-of-age confusion, summer fling, or something more? 

Summer fun, something’s begun… will Louis figure out what he wants before the week’s over, or will love be drifting away before it’s time to pack up and go home?

[*This snippet includes some period-typical homophobic language.]

“Fuck you,” Louis responds, playfully chucking the paper back at Stan as he walks over to join the boys at the air hockey table. “Harry’s not my girlfriend or my boyfriend, you dick wad, and I’m not pining away over anyone, for your information.” Louis informs him, pointedly. “I’m just tired. Not used to the crappy cottage beds yet, you know?”

“He sure is pretty, though, eh?” Stan elbows Louis with a goading smirk. “Eh, eh?”

“Fuck off!” Louis laughs, in what he hopes appears to be good-natured, trying his best to go along with the ribbing. “He’s not even my type. Not that I’m gay, or anything,” he answers quickly, feeling the bottom drop out of his stomach as he tests the waters. “But–”

“Ooh, oh!” Stan teases. His eyes go wide, and he steps back on his heels, looking like the cat that got the cream. “So, what would be your type, then, Tommo, if you were gonna bat for the other team?” He crosses his arms, eagerly waiting for Louis’ response.

Louis looks over to Oli, still standing poised and ready on his end of the air hockey table, equally stunned and dumbfounded waiting on bated breath, then looks back at Stan, who clearly isn’t ready for a truthful answer, but digs deep for some resolve, anyway. 

“Tall, brown hair, gorgeous smile,” Louis pauses, gulping in a mouthful of air. It’s like he’s back at the top of that roller coaster with Harry again, about to plummet over the edge. He can’t believe he’s really going to do this, but at the last second he finishes with, “...and big tits,” feeling gutless and defeated, he paints on a smug grin, knowing he’s anything but on the inside. “Psych!”

The other boys explode with laughter, realizing it was a joke. 

“Oh, my god, Tommo! Fucking-A, that was a good one!” Stan barks out between cackles. “I was freaking out there for a second. I thought you were about to tell us you were fuckin’ queer or some shit. Okay, you and Harry need to come up with a better style of comedy. My blood pressure can’t take all this in one day!” 

“Seriously, though! But can you imagine? Holy shit!” Oli considers, sounding scandalized.

“Oh, I know, right? That would be totally crazy!” Louis says, with a dry laugh, dismissing the thought entirely as he regulates his heartbeat and squeezes a trembling fist into his pocket, while the other combs unsteadily through his sandy brown fringe, casually wiping away the hint of sweat gathering at his brow.

“Well, you’ve got three out of four with El, so that ain’t bad,” Stan says with a shrug, referring to Eleanor, giving Louis a backhanded smack on his bicep. “But she can always get a boob job or something, right?”

“Right. Yeah, sure.” Louis offers a conciliatory nod to his unsuspecting friend.

SOUND

Push A Button and Rewind- A 1990's AU Part Two of Arcades & Lemonade Series

Harry’s always been an early riser and quite enjoys being alone with the stillness of the first morning light, watching everything come alive. The quiet slowly overtaken by the stirring of everyone around him and the familiar sights, sounds, and smells. He sits on the enclosed front porch, a ceramic mug nestled snugly between his hands, and watches the world go by as he savors every sip of his French roast. 

Fog rolls in off the ocean and begins to lift, bringing with it a faint, briny sea breeze. A sheen of morning dew covering the grass burns off with the heat from the first rays of sunlight, leaving a soft, hazy veil to hang in the air. Harry soaks in every noise of the summer symphony like a sponge. The buzzing insects, crickets and birds chirping intermittently, an ambient cacophony of sounds that will soon be drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the day’s activities. 

NECK

Twisted Fate Interlude- A Continuation of A Simple Twisted Fate

Louis is enjoying his time away from Twisted Fate Tattoos, a little more than he expected, getting very comfortable with life on the road with Harry. They wake up in a hotel room after an eventful evening and pick up right where they left off, making the most of their lazy morning in together... and their late check-out.

Louis’ permission is all he is waiting for to let go. Harry’s whines and pleas get louder as he pulls Louis closer, clutching him tightly against his chest. 

“You like being daddy’s good little pet, don’t you?” With two gentle fingers, Louis coaxes Harry’s chin upward to gain access to more of his boy’s snow-white complexion, wanting the salt of his supple skin on his tongue. Soft kisses from determined yet patient lips dot a path, starting at the spot below Harry’s ear. This is where he would normally come undone at the whisper of any contact. But Harry remains resolute, wanting to show Louis he can be patient too, knowing his daddy will always give him what he needs. 

“Mmm-hmm,” Harry answers, head swimming in a haze of endorphins, ready to float away. “Nnnghh–Just wanna be good for you, daddy,” Harry whines into the air, letting his head fall back as Louis takes control, takes what he wants. Harry is happy to give it to him.

Louis continues, grazing a delicate path following the long line of his neck down to his collarbone. 

“Don’t float away just yet, baby-doll,” Louis purrs into Harry’s ear, as if to read his mind, plush lips pressing into warm skin. “I’ve barely even started with you.” His chuckle is low enough and vibrates right through Harry, sending an electrical charge right up his spine. 

HOME

I Wish I Knew How To Quit You- (The Bootcamp Fic)

Fitness Instructor Harry/Reluctant Louis tries to quit smoking and win a bet with his sister, who drags him to her bootcamp class. In the end, he might just win more than that new FIFA game he was promised.

“You are really something else, you know that?” She scoffs. 

“Hey, you’re the one attempting to drag me anywhere before noon, and to tag along to your stupid bootcamp no less. Fucking brilliant idea, sis. Just brilliant.” He bites back. “I don’t have to be here. I should be home under my covers at this ungodly hour.”

“Lou, it’s half eight. Most of the world is up and at ‘em by now. Not quite the ungodly hour, I’d say.” She taps his thigh reassuringly. “Don’t worry. Six more classes after this. You’ll get used to it.” 

“I won’t. I really, really won’t.” Louis digs his proverbial heels in.

“Well, even if you don’t. I’m still dragging your lazy arse to class with me.” Lottie doesn’t back down. She knows her brother is all sass, but a true softie on the inside. “Louis, are you going to be a right prick about this for the next two months? You took the gift certificate, and you agreed to come to class. We shook on this bet. Besides, I know you. You’re the most competitive person I know. Doesn’t matter if it’s racing to the end of the street or chugging a pint. You don’t have it in you to lose. And I know you want that new FIFA!”

“I’m a grown man, Lottie.” Louis grumbles. “I don’t need this stupid bet to get my own FIFA game–”

Lottie glares at her brother knowingly. “That’s not the point, and you know it. You’ve always gotta be the one who does it the fastest, longest, most, least… whatever it is. You can’t stand to lose, and this will be no different. Trust me.”

Louis raises one doubtfully groggy eye at his sister. “I will do no such thing! Last time you said that you were handing me a gift certificate to a bootcamp class telling me I’d love and now look where that got me,” he fusses. “Even if you had a point, which I’m not saying you do, it’s far too early for you to be making this much sense, and I am not nearly caffeinated enough to be entering into any more agreements with you.”

“Jesus Christ, you're in a mood." Lottie groans, rolling her eyes, and lets out an irritated sigh. "Louis, I’m just takin’ the piss! My god, giving up those smokes has got you more wound up than I thought.”

“I’m sorry, Lotts,” Louis apologizes, letting out a sigh of his own. “I’m just having a rough morning. It’s early, and I woke up with a really massive craving, yeah? Can we stop for a cuppa on the way? I think I just need some caffeine to set me straight.”

“We’re already late! No way. We’ll pop off to get one on the way home, alright?”

[thokaharuka]

Long Week

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry get to talk things out. Or do they?

WARNINGS: Swearing, Daddy Kink.

Hi! I know this is short. Promise the next part will be longer.

I've been with the boys all evening, Louis wouldn't stop flirting with me,and Liam tried his shot too sometimes. The others just gave me some looks, but that's it, and Harry,well,our gazes would meet at times,but he would look away shyly. I think he clearly remembers what happened last night.

"Y/N,could you show me your room?" Louis jokes.

"Louis,I think you're drunk already" I laugh.

"He clearly is,but I'm fine,I could go" Niall laughs.

"I-...uh,so many offers,we could do a threesome" I joke back.

"Heard that Styles? Your sister wants to take us both" Niall says pointing at him and Louis,taking a sip of his beer.

"I'm not his sister"

"She's not my sister" We both said at the same time.

We looked at each other.

"We are not real siblings, don't call things wrongly" I say looking at Harry,then looking at Niall.

"I don't care,all I know is that we're fucking tonight" Louis laughs drunkly and touching Nialls arm,but in his drunk clumsiness, he spills his beer all over Niall,then in a try of helping it,he also spills the sauce he had in his hands where he dipped his fries.

Niall stands up fast.

"Louis,you idiot" Zayn says.

"Lad" Niall screams.

"Um,let me help you with that" I say standing up."Don't touch it" I start to walk towards the stairs.

"Yeah,don't make it worst than it is mate" Says Harry standing up too and following me.

"Worst? It looks like I peed myself" Niall answers back. "And also like a girl in her period rode me"

"Shut the fuck up" I scream while going upstairs.

When I got to the bathroom,I saw Harry getting in as well. I went where the towels were, and took one. As I went to turn around I felt him glued to my back.

"I-,about last night" He started.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it"

"For fuck sakes Y/N,I tried to get with you,you're my step sister,I was scared to bring that up."

"Truth is that it was weird" I laugh turning around, being between the shelving and Harry.

"I'm sorry. And also,you aren't a saint either" Instantly my face turns red.

"I-"

We were left in silence staring at each other for some good time.

"Are you fucking up there?" We hear Niall yell from downstairs.

I instantly push Harry a bit to get out of the bathroom,when I do so, I turn around and say.

"I was just curious,I've never been with someone with long hair" I say laughing, trying to ease up the tension. He instantly rose his eyebrows.

When I get down stairs I start to walk towards Niall,with Harry behind me,but I see that my dad is calling me. I look at Harry and show it to him.

"Hey,guys,here,we have to answer to our parents" I say giving the towel to Liam.

"Well be right back" Harry says and we rush to my room and sit on my bed.

"Yes?" I answer putting on speaker. "You're on speaker, just so you know"

"Better,I'm calling to say that we are getting back like today,in the morning."

"Ah,God,I thought something bad happened. Okay don't worry"

"Okay,bye"

"Bye" Harry and I say at the same time.

"You know,now that we are alone,let me tell you your friends are pretty stupid" I say laughing.

"Better than the losers you go out with are" Aaand...his back.

"Glad to see you're back"

"I was never gone, baby"

"Mh,just a bit tongue tied. Let me guess,this was the first time you had to say sorry."

"What d'you mean?"

"That this was the first time someone rejected the 'so hot' Harry Styles"

"If I wanted I would've gotten my way"

"Yeah,sure. Because you're irresistible."

"I mean that's what they call me, so, yeah."

"Sure" I nod. Irony in my voice.

"What are you trying to say, kitten?" What did he call me? Now, that's new.

"I'm not trying to say anything, because it already happened"

"I could've gotten my way if I wanted to"

"Mhm"

In a quick move he took me by my throat,pulling me closer to his face.

"Don't challenge me"

"Hazz" He shakes his head.

"My name's not Harry"

"I-" Confusion and for some reason that's more than obvious why,my body getting turned on.

"Kitten" He whispers,our noses touching. "You know what to call me"

"I don't,Harry i-" His grip got tighter

"Mhm" He shakes his head.

"Daddy" I say,just to try.

"You're not that innocent, aren't you?" He smiles.

All of a sudden he leans in and kisses me roughly. I take a hold of his face,million thoughts going through my mind.

"Wait" I whisper, leaning back. I look at him, and I never thought I'll see him like this. His pupils were dilated, and he was blushed like hell. He looked into my eyes,waiting for me to say something. I would even say there was hope in his eyes. He looked so pretty. I'm so confused. "Is this right?"

"I don't know. Is this right?" I've never seen him so vulnerable.

I bite my lower lip,not knowing what to do or say. He lets go of my neck,furrowing his brows.

"This was a mistake,sorry" His tone changed totally,sounding like always,rough.

"Harry"

"Forget it" And as he says so he gets up and getting out of my room.

I sit there in silence,thinking. I don't think I'll be able to go out there again. I don't know how to feel about this. For some reason I didn't want it to stop,and he looked hurt. God, I feel so bad.

I take my pack of cigarettes and go downstairs.

"Hey,where are you going?" I hear Niall yell at me,I just keep on walking going to the backyard.

-------------------------------------------------------

After smoking my cigarette yesterday,I went straight ahead to my bedroom and decided to sleep. And here I am now, laying on my bed, fearing to go out to eat and see Harry. But I can't hide in my room for three days.

I get up,put some clothes on and I go straight to the living room. But no one was there. Fantastic,the only day that I wake up at a decent hour by myself, and no one's in the mood for at least eat their breakfast?

The house seemed so empty. So I stayed there,leaned on a chair,thinking,in silence. When out of nowhere, I feel some arms wrap around my waist. And before I could turn around,they speak.

"Morning,gorgeous" The voice caught me off guard. Instantly I turn around.

"Niall,what the fuck. You scared me to death" I put my hand on my chest.

"I know" He laughs. Then he starts to walk to the kitchen, I follow him.

"How'd you slept" He goes to the fridge.

"Great, I think." I look at him. "What are you doing in my house? And why are you shirtless?.

"We stayed the night,and your parents haven't arrived yet,so, we decided to go to the pool".

"Ah...okay"

"You should come too. C'mon. Put on that pretty bikini of yours and enjoy your pool". He takes a can of coke out of the fridge.

"I don't think it's a great idea. I don't really know ya'll, maybe it's weird".

"What are you talking about? We literally forced you to spend time with us yesterday. If we didn't like you,we wouldn't even look at you".

"Okay,okay. You convinced me. I'll go change". I put my hands up,giving up.

"Great. Wait for you at the pool"

"Perfect. See you there".

-------------------------------------------------------

In what moment of life do I accept to go? How am I supposed to go out there? I can't even take the door handle in my hands. I better breath, a mental breakdown is not gonna help. And with all bravery of the world,I open the door to the backyard and start to walk towards the boys.

Niall,Louis and Liam were in the water,while Zayn and Harry were laying on the grass. Zayn was looking towards the boys and Harry was reading. He looked good,he was in some black swim shorts,a shirt that probably had only two buttons closed and a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes. I tried not to make my presence noticeable, but with Niall and Louis it's impossible.

"Look at that beaty" Niall yells at me,and Louis starts to hiss. I just wave at them.

Immediately Harry looks at me. I walk to them and put my things on the grass.

"Hey" Zayn salutes me.

"Hi" I look at Harry. He was back to reading. "When are your mom and my dad coming back?" I ask him. I'll try to ease up all this mess.

"Who knows" He didn't even took his eyes off the book.

"Great" I nod.

As I look to the pool I see Niall running at me. And before I knew it,he was on top of me,hugging me and soaking me wet.

"You looked dry" He laughs.

I start to laugh,getting him off me and running to the water,jumping in.

As I get to the surface,I see how Harry gets up and walks inside.

"I think Tiffany turned him off again". Louis laughs.

I look at him. "Yeah,probably"

[bakagamieru]

Hi! I've been feeling really down, as well as frustrated and sad these past few days and I guess I'm here for a bit of reassurance maybe? Your blog was what opened my eyes to Ziam and also to the stunt ot4 v Zayn and all that, about a year ago, so I'm quite new. Your masterposts especially have been very informative! So basically I trust your judgement in this as someone who's been here a while and gone through it. Anyway, I completely believe in Ziam along with Larry now (been a Larrie (1)

(2) a long while) and I also believe all bbg's are fake etc. The thing I still get confused about/doubt sometimes, is the whole Harry&Louis & Zayn 'feud' thing. Most days I'm sure in my heart that all the twitter fights and post-interviews being mad at Z is all fake and part of a narrative. Zayn honestly even put lyrics to a song about a fight before actual fight for fucks sake?! Also it was all so ridiculous and public, childish, etc. it can't possibly have been real. Then his 'falling out

(3) with NB in the end. Also what ELSE (if not that 'fight') could they have been mad at him for? For 'leaving' because of his health (or whatever they said was the reason)? And after all this time still being mad/or at least bringing it up? Sounds very unlike H&L too doesn't it? Then I remember rbb/sbb, and this is something I've researched TOO MUCH honestly. Some people still refuse to even admit it was there or that it meant ANYTHING. But that goddamn yellow smiley was there several times

(4) after the 'twitter fight'. Why would that be the case? Also Ziam being together, and Louis being so close with Liam and hating on his man? It just doesn't add up anywhere. Sorry I know this is just me sounding very insecure about it all and atm I kinda am. I was having a discussion with a Larrie the other day. One of the bigger blogs with a big influence and lots of people reblogged and agreed with them, when I was trying to point out how I think 1D as a 'whole' are still being under some

(5) form of contract or image clause at the very least. They said the whole contract thing is fanfiction at this point (besides Louis essentially) and the other boys are all free to do whatever. They also don't believe in Ziam or that Zayn is friends with the boys at all. Mentioned how Harry is still 'salty' about him in interviews etc etc. They are so SURE of themselves. But yeah even though I mostly KNOW I still doubt on this because of the fucked up narratives. what if H&L / Zayn really did

(7) has been a stunt? Not saying they hang out as best friends these days maybe, what with their own lives and pandemic on top of it, but do you still think they're 'family'/ot5forever'? I honestly feel like I get gaslighted even by Larries these days and it's not much fun to follow them anymore :( Seeing Harry with Niall made me smile though! Gives me at least some hope that they still are close xx //This got very long, I'm so sorry. You can answer in tags if you wish :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Number 6 never seems to have made it to my inbox.  Good job numbering them, though, because I never would have realized one was missing otherwise.

Anyway, I hate to say it, but talking to Larries is a fraught prospect.  Almost all of the people who still call themselves Larries don’t believe in Ziam and it’s because they’ve never bothered to actually look at the evidence.  They don’t treat all of the boys with the same respect or interest that they treat Harry and Louis, so any time you try to convince them of a stunt related to Liam, Zayn, or Niall, they’re likely going to make their decision based on nothing but bias and refuse to budge on it no matter how much evidence you have.  Taking their word on Louis being the only one still under contract/sabotaged when they clearly don’t pay any attention to what’s actually going on with the other boys would be foolish.  You can always try to change a Larrie’s mind and maybe there should always be people that do try, but from my perspective, it’s just a depressing and infuriating situation to put yourself in.  

At best, I would have those conversations privately, especially if the blog has a lot of influence.  A blog with a lot of influence has ulterior motives to not changing their views publicly because if they do, they may well lose followers.  You may have a chance of getting them to look at evidence if you’re talking in private though.

I know the whole 1D friendship thing is hard right now because it’s been more than 5 years since they’ve really interacted.  We’ve gotten some Niam, Nouis, and Lilo here and there, but most of that is just talk even, no pics.  Because we have no immediate evidence of their friendship in front of us, all we have to rely on is interviews which we KNOW are BS-narrative machines.  It’s hard to ignore them when it’s all we have, but we should ignore them anyway because past experience has taught us just how much interviews push stunt narratives.

I would actually say the whole Narry outing recently gives us more to believe in than anything else.  If Harry and Niall hung out completely in public and we only found out about it through a picture a week or two later that could easily have never been identified by a fan, then it’s pretty likely that all the boys have managed to hang out whenever they want without being noticed, right?  Especially if they went to each other’s houses instead of to a public hiking trail.  There’s so much going on behind the scenes that we don’t have access to or knowledge of.  Zayn could have hung out with any one of the boys at any time because we hardly know where he is.  He’s almost never even on social media, so there are huge chunks of time where he’s unaccounted for.

The hiatus is hard specifically because of a lack of new information and because the status quo (in terms of the BS narrative) has had no reason to change for a long time.  I’ve said it before, but with Zayn’s situation, the only time after hiatus started that it makes narrative and business sense to reverse the “feud” narrative is leading up to a reunion.  That means we most likely WILL NOT see any improvement until a reunion approaches and with the pandemic, that’s definitely not happening this year and probably not even next.  It sucks, but the status quo of BS being maintained is what we should expect right now and just because it IS being maintained isn’t a sign of anything having worsened.  It’s just logical.  If you want to use the hype of a reconciliation to get fans excited, to sell tickets, to earn money, etc., then you need to wait until a reunion so that you HAVE tickets to sell and money to earn.

I would say hold on to the logical conclusions you can come to from the time when we had a lot of information to go off of (the OTRA tour and just after) and try not to read into anything happening now because there’s just about NOTHING happening right now and there’s just not enough data to find patterns and draw conclusions about the reality behind the fakery. 

[sunflowersunshinevol6]

Adore You [H.S]

Summary: Harry meets Lily in the summer of 1965, after graduating Uni he flies to the states to work as a photographer. It's at one of his boss's house parties that they meet and sparks fly.

But when Harry is asked to go to Viatnam and photograph the horrors happening there, will the distance tear them apart? And what about the darkness surrounding him when he returns? Will she be able to heal him.

And she...she's not the same either.

Taking in the beauty of the sixties, this is a love story that spans years and culminates in one final admission. Harry will always adore her.

Chapter One:

"And we drink our coffee and pretend not to look at each other." Charles Baudelaire

The party was in full swing when Lily arrived, nervously walking up the path to her old friend's home. People lingered outside as music thumped from inside. It reminded her very much of the parties they attended at Berkely only three years ago. It was amazing how time could fly and people could change.

"Lily!" The first person she sees is dear old Louis Tomlinson. The two of them had dated in college, albeit briefly, but that hadn't gotten in the way of their friendship. Lily rushed into his open arms, laughing as her friend embraced her warmly. "Let me get a good look at ya love," she smiled, not realizing how much she had actually missed his accent. He had come from overseas. England to be exact, a town called Doncaster. She loved his heavy accent.

He took in her outfit. Lily wore a creamed colored skirt and white blouse tucked into it. She wore a pair of black ballet flats and had a few gold bracelets on her wrists, not one for jewelry, she decided to skip the rings and a necklace, fearing if she got to drunk she may actually lose them.

"You look lovely as eva," he praised, causing her to blush slightly.

"I could say the same about you," she complimented back, almost shouting in his ear. Louis wore a white button down shirt and grey slacks. He would look good in a paper bag. Lily thought jealously. He was always so effortlessly cool looking. "Have you seen Marie around? She invited me and I never got the chance to thank her." Louis shrugged, bringing his beer to his lips.

"Not since the party started actually. She's been a proper host." The music changes, The Beatles 'Love Me Do' begins to play. "Fancy a dance love?" Louis shouted over the music. Lily nodded, taking her friend's hand as he set down his beer.

They made their way through the crowded living room, Louis pulling her in front of him as they begin to dance. Louis was never good at it, jerking and playfully teasing Lily with his moves. She couldn't help but laugh out loud at just how silly she was.

"I never realized how much I missed you." She said as he pulled her close after spinning her out. She can feel him grin against the top of her head.

"Missed you too, Love." The sound of a motorcycle pulling up outside stops their conversation. Heads turn towards the door as the music dies down and people look to see who's got the bike.

With the front doors of Marie's house open, Lily can just see a glint of black metal under the street lights outside her home. A shadowy figure getting off the bike and walking up the path towards the house. People begin to disperse, the momentary curiosity lapsing as they go back to their conversations and alcohol. But Lily looks on, curious.

"I thought she said she didn't invite him." She heard Louis say behind her. His voice slightly strained.

"I'm sorry, who?" She asks. She watches Louis swallow hard before explaining.

"His name is Harry. He's a photographer, it's rumored he does a lot of boudoir and naughty pictures, no one knows for sure. He's sort of a bad boy mystery." Lily watched as the man took off his helmet, shaking out thick curly locks that she instinctively wanted to run her fingers through.

"Oh." She said nearly breathless. He looks up, hooking his helmet under his arm. Lily feels her heart skips a beat when he locked eyes with her. His eyes were green, so light and pretty, she had to look away before she got lost in them. "I better go find Marie. She is the reason I came tonight." Lily said, clearing her throat.

"Right." Louis said, reaching out to hug her. He could see Harry was watching them, a blank expression on his face as Louis pulled away. "I'll talk to you soon...and Lily," he reached for her hand before she walked away. "Stay away from 'im please. I don't know what I'd do if you eva got hurt." Lily gave him a sweet smile before walking off to find Marie.

Harry didn't usually come to these things. He perfered to keep to himself, stay at home and catch up on some reading or work on some pictures he'd taken. But Marie was his boss and she'd been nothing but kind to him since he started working for her. It was almost a dream really, right out of Uni he had gotten the call. Someone in the States had seen his portfolio and really admired his work. It had all gone from there. So if anything he was grateful for the opportunity she had given him.

Everyone had stared at him when he pulled up on his bike. It was still a work in progress, but he hadn't thought it looked that shitty. He avoided the stares and questioning looks as he entered the party, hoping to only say hello to Marie and then leave.

It was when he had taken off his helmet and felt someone staring at him that he saw her.

She stood in the corner of the living room, right by the record player, eyes locking with his intensely. Her dark hair fell down around her shoulders in simple, loose curls, brown eyes gazing at him with curiosity. She looked away too soon.

Lily never ended up finding Marie. She pushed her way through the crowded house and out into the fresh night air. There were a few couples scattered about here and there but everyone was mostly inside, the party was kicking up a notch and that was her cue to head home.

She thought about the man. Harry, as she kicked pebbles with her shoes, arms crossed against her chest as the cool breeze swept through her hair. She should have brought a jacket maybe. But it had been warmer earlier so she hadn't thought to. It was close to midnight and she could feel exhaustion seeping into her bones as she walked the three blocks to her apartment.

The rumble of a motorcycle behind her startled her, causing her to cry out and nearly stumble. She turned to see the head light of the bikes nearly blinding her as it came to a stop beside her.

"Hey," the driver pulled his helmet off and she felt her heart jump into her stomach. It was him. "Need a ride?" He asked. Lily opened her mouth to reply but thought about Louis's warning.

"No thanks. My apartment is close."

"It's a little late to be walking home alone don't you think?"

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." Harry grinned, she was quick. He shut off his motorcycle, climbing off of it and steering it towards the curb. He let up the kick stand and walked back over to Lily, shimmying out of his jacket.

"Here," he offered, holding out his coat. Lily was taken aback by his demeanor. He spoke to her so easily, as if they were friends and hadn't just met. "I noticed your arms. A bit nippy out tonight yeah?" Wordlessly Lily takes the leather jacket, it's heavy, but warm from his body heat as she wraps it around herself.

"Thank you." She managed.

"No problem....please. Let me walk you home. I can't leave without knowin' ya made it. Would weigh heavy on my conscience." Lily laughed softly at his words, he seemed so formal, almost stiff.

"I suppose. As long as you don't plan on stalking me." He smirked, coming to walk beside her.

"Course not. My mum raised a gentleman."

"How did you find me anyway?" She asked. He shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his Jean's.

"Was goin' home myself an saw you. Couldn't jus let you go off alone." She nodded.

They walked in silence for a bit, Lily didn't know what to say really. She was surprised and impressed by his kindness. But Harry's growling stomach ended up speaking for both of them.

"Sorry." He said shyly, patting his belly. "Haven' are in a while."

"There's a diner around the corner from my place....if you wanted to stop and grab something really quick?"

"You sure that's alright?" He asked her.

"Sure. I'll buy, pay you back for your chivalry." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"No need to do that love."

Frankie's was a 24 hour dinner. Lily came there many a night during college to cram for exams and drink enough black coffee to kill her. It was her place, but it felt a little weird bringing Harry there. She only just met him.

"Hey Martha." Lily said as they slid into a booth by the window. The older woman had walked over almost immediately, throwing Lily a kind smile.

"Who's this handsome young man you've brought with you?" Martha winked at Harry. He smiled, unable to contain his laughter.

"'m Harry. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand.

"My what a gentleman." Martha said, dramatically crossing her hand over her heart before shaking his. "What can I get you kids?"

"I'll have a chocolate milkshake and a burger, everything on it." Harry raised his eyebrows slightly. Lily was a little girl, he hadn't expected that.

"And you?" Martha asked.

"I'll have wha' she's havin' sounds good." Martha scribbled the order down before walking away. Lily cleared her throat, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"So your accent? You're british?" Harry nodded.

"Proudly."

"What brought you to the states?"

"I always wanted to be a professional photographer. Went to Uni for it. When I was getting ready to graduate we had to set up our portfolios. Marie saw mine and liked it. Offered me a job almost a week after I graduated. So I took the time to get the paper work done and now I'm here on a work visa." Martha brought out the milkshakes. Lily took a long sip of hers, savoring the chocolate taste on her tongue.

"So that's how you know Marie."

"How do you know her?"

"We were roomies in college. We went to Berkely together. She was into all the marketing and stuff. I went for Women's studies and Philosophy."

"I'm impressed."

"Don't be. It's not that great."

They chattered a bit more before their food came. Lily learned that Harry had one older sister and two older step siblings. The way he spoke about his mother and his sister, you'd have thought they hung the moon and threw the stars into the sky. Lily found herself listening closely, palm on her chin as she focused on his words and the calm slow cadence of his voice.

"Tha' was delicious." Harry said, licking his fingers. Lily laughed dipping the last fry into ketchup. She started to fish out her wallet, only for Harry to hold up his hand.

"I said I got it Harry."

"At least let me split it."

"Fine." They split the bill and each leave a little tip, waving good bye to Martha as they left the diner, it was later now, nearly two in the morning and Lily could feel the exhaustion catching up to her.

"How much further from your flat are we?" Harry asked. He reached out, taking her hand in his as she led him down the street towards her apartment.

"Right here," she said, turning towards a painted white door, surrounded by a wrought iron fence and bricks. Harry walked her up to the door, taking his jacket back as she shrugged it off her shoulders.

"I'm glad you decided to walk me home." She acknowledged, a small and sleepy smile on her face.

"I'm glad you let me." They stared at each other for a moment more, electricity vibrating between them as they locked eyes. Harry swallowed hard, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

"G'night Miss. Lily."

[heyyyharry]

Can u do a drabble for flatmate where maybe they are food friends now and Harrys friends have like apologized to her and one day they all are going clubbing and they want y/n to go with them because she "doesn't know how to party like an animal" and Layla and trix get her ready in clubbing attire and when she comes out all the guys have their jaws slacked and Harry can't focus on anything else.....? Please forgive me if this is too much or if I'm being annoying😓

This might be slightly different from what you expected ☺️

.

Harry didn’t know how to feel about this.

Half of him was obviously turned on by Y/N in that tiny dress, but the fact that he wasn’t the only one drooling over her was driving him insane. And he knew exactly the person responsible for this.

“Why did you bring her here? You don’t even like her!”

Layla quickly gulped down her drink and raised an eyebrow. “Who says I don’t like her?”

“You! You say that to her face all the time!”

“Okay fine.” She scoffed, turning to look at Y/N, who was talking to Louis and Liam and a few other boys. “Thought I did you a favor. You told me to stop you from doing something stupid tonight because you don’t wanna hurt your little princess.”

“That meant keeping me from drinking too much and leaving with some girl that looked like her! I didn’t ask you to dress her in your...your lingerie and bring her here!”

“Are you gonna keep complaining to me, or are you gonna be over there to stop those fools from drooling all over my ‘lingerie’?”

“Fuck you.” Harry scoffed, shaking his head. But before he could take Layla advice and break off the crowd over there, someone else had already done his job. “Who the fuck is that dude?”

His nostrils flared as he watched the dark haired guy flirt with Y/N. He couldn’t hear what he was saying to her, but his intentions were clear in his body language.

“That’s Louis’ new roommate, Nick, I think that’s his name.” Layla pursed her red lips. “He’s a hot piece of ass—Wait, where are you going?”

Harry acted like he didn’t hear her and marched straight toward the blonde in the corner of the room. That girl had been checking him out since the moment they locked eyes when he walked in. And the only reason he hadn’t come to her was because of Y/N, but now he didn’t have to worry anymore. Y/N was obviously into that guy who was touching her hair and her arm like he was her boyfriend. Fuck. Who was Harry kidding? He wasn’t worry, he was irritated and his chest was burning up with jealousy and anger.

“Hi.” The stranger flashed him a smirk. She was bold and she knew what she wanted. She wasn’t anything like his Y/N, who was shy and would never make the first move or take a compliment without blushing. Okay, he should stop thinking about Y/N.

But he didn’t even want this blonde. He didn’t want any girl that wasn’t his flatmate. Was he trying to get back at Y/N for flirting with that guy? Would Y/N even care? Would she be jealous? Fuck it, It didn’t matter, he told himself, and then accepted the drink from the girl who was already all over him.

The red and blue lights in the club and the deafening music made him feel like his soul had left his body. He was grinding against the girl’s body. Her perfume was too strong it made his head spin. But his tongue was in her mouth and his hands were on her ass, he was too preoccupied to worry about anything else. However, that was only until he felt a hand on his shoulder, tearing him away from the girl.

Before he could ask, Niall cried out, “Y/N has a panic attack! She’s in the bathroom!”

That was all it took for Harry to run. He frantically pushed his way through the crowded dance floor, panting while trying to navigate. He should’ve seen this coming. Y/N was socially anxious, she hated overcrowding places and clearly didn’t belong here.

“Y/N!” He burst through the bathroom door and found his flatmate standing with her hands on the sink, facing the mirror. Nick, or whatever the fuck his name was, was stroking her back. Harry didn’t even think about being rude as he pushed the guy aside and gripped her shoulders.

“Harry?” Her voice was soft and trembling. Then she turned to stare at him with her worrying eyes. She looked scared, and he felt like a piece of shit. Maybe this was all his fault.

“What happened?” He asked, glaring at the guy who was clearly still in shock.

“I-I don’t know. I took her to the dance floor and—“

“It’s okay, H...” She squeezed his arm. “I felt a bit overwhelmed, but I’m okay now...”

“You’re shaking, love...” He winced and cupped her delicate face between his palms. “Gosh, I should’ve been by your side.”

“No, it’s fine. Go back to your friend.”

He knew she didn’t say it in a bitter way. She was only speaking her mind and it made his heart hurt, because she actually thought that a stranger he didn’t remember the face of was more important than her. He had been sucking that girl’s face though, he couldn’t justify that. God, he was such a dick.

“Come with me,” he said despite what she’d just told him. “Let’s go back to our place.”

“Wait, you two live together?” The guy flicked his fingers between the two of them, but Harry didn’t care. He encircled her waist, pressed her head to his chest and signaled Niall to step aside so they could walk out.

Now she was clinging onto him like he was a lifesaver. He swore that he would never let Layla take her anywhere without telling him again.

”Does she know you’re leaving?” Y/N asked innocently once they had escaped from the rowdiness of the club.

“Layla?” He arched an eyebrow and received a soft smile. His arms were still tightened around her shoulders.

“No, your friend.”

“Actually, I don’t even know her name...”

His answer left her a bit confused. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and wetted his lips. “Besides, I don’t care about her, I only care about you.”

“Oh.” It wasn’t the response he’d expected, but at least it wasn’t total silence.

“Did that guy touch you without your consent?” His next question seemed to amuse her.

Laughing, she said, “no, I don’t think his boyfriend would’ve approved.”

“Oh,” he murmured. That was the same response she’d given him. His cheeks were crimson now, but his chest felt lighter as he heaved a sigh of relief.

They kept on walking, keeping a slow pace to enjoy each other’s company before they reached his car.

“Do you like my new look?” She broke the silence with a question that turned the color of his cheeks more vibrant.

Nodding fast, he cleared his throat, trying not to stare at her cleavage. “You look very...uhm...pretty. B-but I prefer how you normally look.”

“Why?”

“It’s more you.”

When she gave him a grimace, he believed he’d offended her by that answer. However, she said, “thank God, I’m not feeling this look either. This dress is squeezing the air out of me. I’m dying to get home and change into my PJs.“

Harry had no idea why he found her answer so endearing. He had to refrain himself from pressing a kiss to her temple as he pulled her closer to his chest. Now she was telling him about this movie she wanted them to watch when they got home. But all he could think about was her calling their flat ‘home’.

[getalittleclosey]

i have a kind of random, long-winded question. i'm someone who, when i first got into the fandom just after x factor, didn't think there was any substance to the larry suspicions. a few years later looking back, i definitely felt like there was something undeniable there, even if it was just an intense relationship with feelings of some sort between them. there's so much that points to larry, from body language in interviews to hidden moments to lyric changes during shows. and i still love (1/?)

reading/hearing about how things pieced together (like the correlated tattoos, lyrics about princess park, two hearts one home, etc.) point to the reality of it at some point or other. in my heart, i feel like this has to have been real even if it isn't real at the moment (which... debatable). but like... sometimes i feel conflicted about believing in this thing they had? i so badly want to believe it is/was real and support them if that's the case. but then louis has said that the larry (2/?)

theories interfered with his relationship with harry, that he thinks it's disrespectful to eleanor, etc. at the end of the day, i just want them both to be happy, regardless of the truth. but sometimes i feel weird about believing this thing that supposedly upsets him. i know everything that he and harry say/do gets broken down and analyzed and sometimes i just want to take them at their word... am i the only one who feels conflicted about loving larry? thinking about it a lot right now. (3/3)

oh p.s. other people can totally chime in, you're just my fav 1d/larry blog so i thought i'd direct the question to you first!

~~~~~

hi anon! low key forgot how to screenshot on a laptop...guess this is what happens when you live off your phone for 5 years oops. anyWAY also sorry this is so late!! i was just thinking about it a lot!

i think, right off the bat, i’d say that if something starts to give you more unhappy/stressed/guilty/etc feelings than happy/interested/entertained feelings..it’s time to take a step back from it. whether that’s fandom, a hobby, a friend, literally anything!! you always have to put your mental health first.

i also want to say that everything i’m writing are my opinions and my feelings and if whoever reads this has different ones THAT IS OKAY!! just don’t feel like i’m trying to push anything onto you!

i mean..i’ve been actively in this fandom for almost 9 years now and been in the larry fandom for about 8.5 years of that time, so i’ve seen the fandom change and grow with the boys and their situation. i think i’ve seen WAY too much craziness at this point to ever change my mind about believing that louis & harry are together. this fandom is so much a part of me; i’ve made wonderful friends, figured out my sexuality, and enjoyed growing up with the boys and it’s definitely impacted who i am as a person. without larry, i might not have that, so i’m thankful to be a part of such an accepting community. (i’m also very careful with who i follow because i 100% won’t stand for drama or hate on my dash lmao)

i feel like at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you believe, how much you believe it, or if you change your beliefs, as long as you stay true to yourself and stay KIND about it. the big issues i see within larry fandom is the pushing of beliefs onto people who frankly..don’t care or don’t want to hear it, shaming other people for what they believe, and talking about said beliefs to harry & louis’ family, friends, beards, etc on social media. it’s 100% not our place to do that!! i think that if you stay within fandom itself (especially on tumblr where things are least likely to be seen by the people in question), i personally don’t see a reason to feel guilty about it. (cause nothing makes me more uncomfortable than seeing “touch your nose if larry is real!” on like a daisy & phoebe twitcam like..please stop. this is why people don’t like larries)

i think that larries DO bring a lot of positivity and support to the fandom though!! nothing makes me feel more safe and comfortable than seeing rainbow flags at shows and seeing people happy to be WHOEVER they want to be. larry being apart of one direction happened to make one direction shows one of those safe concert spaces for queer fans and that’s amazing. and an artist does NOT have to be a part of the lgbt+ community for their concerts to be a safe place for lgbt+ fans (for example: carly rae jepsen concerts are just pride lite). which means that you are not PUSHING A SEXUALITY on someone by being prideful of your own. so in that sense, i would assume, believing that harry and louis are the good, accepting people that they have proven themselves to be, that they would be happy to be a safe place for a community that doesn’t always feel safe. and if they are also a part of that community, then they would feel loved and accepted by their fans in return. and i think that it’s beautiful that we can do that for each other. (i think harry said something about that when talking about hslot?)

on yet another note, the “larries ruined harry and louis’ friendship” thing. oh my god. i’m sorry but this is about to be blunt as fuck...if you let fans ruin your friendship with someone, then your friendship wasn’t that strong to begin with. and we know full well harry and louis’ friendship was strong af. and if you paid attention from 2013-2015 (when people started saying this), harry and louis were still messing around, joking around, playing off each other. they were just less physical with each other than they had been previously...and to be fair previously they were embarrassing with how much they couldn’t keep their hands off each other lmaooo. it’s also very hard to judge the friendship levels of any of the boys at this point because they’re not with each other 24/7 like before and we see maybe 1% of their daily lives. (besides niall who’s never off instagram live)

also literally any time i mention my best friend to my family or friends, they ask me if i have a crush on him, when we’re going to start dating, when we’re getting married, why we AREN’T dating, etc. this has been going on for two years now and it has not changed the way me and my best friend act with each other or altered our friendship in any way so like....friends can make it through dating rumors imo hahahahha

now when it comes to eleanor. i’m going to put this both ways just for funsies.

1) if she and louis are dating, i honestly don’t see how rumors would be impacting their relationship. she doesn’t use twitter anymore and barely did anyway, keeps most of her life private, barely uses instagram and has limited who can comment on her posts. i don’t think she sees much. she’s also dating a famous person and has been for a while, including 1d’s peak years. she knows the drill and knows what comes with dating louis. ESPECIALLY after getting back together with him

2) if she’s louis’ beard...she’s getting paid to do a job. she knows what comes with it and how it’ll effect her personal life and she definitely doesn’t care about rumors because again..not a real relationship lmao.

oh and i also love seeing how things are pieced together! it’s so interesting to me i love that shit hahhaha but i totally get what you mean in the sense that some things are just...what they are and don’t need to be over-analyzed. sometimes i feel like an overzealous english teacher trying to figure out the symbolism behind the blue door and taking a step back and being like...maybe they just liked the color blue hahaha

and thanks for calling me one of your fav 1d blogs WOW ily!!!

hope this helped and feel free to ask me anything else, whenever!!

[jlf23tumble]

Hi! I'm the girl direction anon, i just finished reading the fics and i just wanted to say thank you so much!! They were amazing! I loved all of objectlesson's fics! so great! one of my favourite authors for sure! Also you were right, reading about all this body positivity was so nice! it's way better than what the 'media' is trying to do now because it feels genuine and real! Really loved it! I was wondering if you have any recs with nonbinary/genderfluid characters? It's nice seeing those too

Omg, that’s the sweetest thing ever, I passed along your kind words, and she sends you oodles of love back! I absolutely *do* have some great fic recs for you...it’s a slightly tricky request in that having, say, a story with Harry in panties doesn’t in and of itself mean he’s a genderfluid character in it, but I think I know what you’re getting at, and I’ve definitely got you covered. Some of my very fave fics fall into this category, actually, which means this is gonna be kind of long, so under the cut we go...fingers crossed you haven’t read them all yet!

“Hush.,” by @wankerville, 41k words (E). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” An American high school AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect. (This is right up there in my top five all-time fave fics, it’s just luminous, goddd, required reading; the author also wrote the strawberry milk series, which is similarly achingly good, but it has some heavier, abuse-related themes that could be triggering)

“Grenadine Sunshine,” by objectlesson/@alienfuckeronmain, 18k words (E).  He wants to taste the faint, sugary ghost of lip gloss, he wants to cup Harry’s face between his palms and swipe the shimmery wet shadows from beneath his eyes. He wants to show him everything he knows, even though he doesn’t know anything about this, about kissing boys or flirting with them or doing their makeup or even showing them it’s okay to want to wear makeup in the first place. (Phoenix wrote this story as an homage of sorts for Wankerville, and it’s a beautiful one of acceptance, love, and support)

“Chapter 4: Braids,” by objectlesson, 14.9k words (E). Timestamp for Grenadine Sunshine. (Part of a larger drabble collection, but a direct relation to the story above)

“Vinyl and Lace,” by objectlesson, 7.5k words, (E). Harry tries on a skirt in the X Factor dressing room as a joke. Louis doesn't think it's very funny. (While we’re hanging out with Phoenix, lol, an underrated beaut!)

“Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” by loadedgunn, 7.5k words (E). "You…" Harry touches his own mouth, teasing. "You ate her pussy?" "Yeah." Louis stops playing with Harry's cock and gropes his arse again, pulling his cheeks apart and pushing them back together over the thong. "Want me to eat yours?" Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl. (another one in my top five all-time faves, I’m always amazed at how “short” it is because JESUS, it’s so good, so complete, so beautifully characterized and written from beginning to end, LoadedGunn’s best work, come fight me)

“genderfluid!harry verse,” by istajmaal, 33.9k words (E). harry is a girl sometimes. louis loves her all the time. (This three-part series is old but GOLD, god, the characterization in this one...plus, this author is my hero for writing it in 2013, and I go back to it all the time)

“Nothing You Can Do (But You Can Learn How to Be You in Time),” by Teumessian, 28k words (E; needs ao3 account). Louis braids Harry’s hair. There are good times, bad times, fancy houses, supportive bandmates, secret boyfriends, small rebellions, bigger revolutions, some nail varnish, ribbons, cute clothing, and a Pinterest. (Awwww, the pinterest fic, one of my faves to rec, this author had me with the way they described Louis pushing up his glasses after a particularly difficult braid)

“She Feels So Good,” by Zedi, 4k words (E). That’s the voice that comes out when Harry’s in a skirt, nails done and gestures soft and flirty. That’s the voice Louis is a sucker for every time, even now when it’s coming from a prerecorded segment playing off a monitor. That’s Louis’ good girl. (A look at the Late Late Show appearance, and I love the way this authors switches pronouns when Harry switches gender)

“Warm Glow That Lingers On,” by Blake/@newleafover, 8.5k words (E). If Harry wants his nails painted red, he's got to earn it first. (It’s Blake, nuff said...god, I miss their writing in this fandom)

“it’s you i want to take apart,” by orphan_account, 6k words (E). He will readily admit that he likes to make Harry squirm sometimes, but this actually isn't about that—he just wants to help him get past whatever issue he has here. And, okay, he also really wants to see what Harry would look like with lipstick on, because he bets it would be really pretty.  (Read the author’s notes about the inspo on this one...2012!!!! Wow!)

“weird honey,” by orphan_account, 5.4k words (E). They fuck, kind of a lot. It started out as just something to do, to wind down or pass time. Now they do it at least once a week, and Harry’s not sure if that means something. It’s not as if they only fuck each other, but-But there’s no one else Harry could imagine bringing this to. (PWP where Harry is not 100% at home in his body and he and Louis use a sex toy to help work through the problem.)

“I wanna see the way you move for me baby,” by Tomlinsontoes, 3.3k words (M). Louis walks in on Harry all dolled up. (LBD is literally about Harry, and this author...and a lot of others...knew it all the way back then)

“if they find out, will it all go wrong?” by blankiehxrry, 3.4k words (NR). Madison square garden shenanigans. (This one’s from a long time ago, part of a series where the author explores a bunch of things, and here, Harry has a panic attack, and Louis helps him out)

@vondrostes​ writes AMAZING genderfluid/trans Harry, usually in a variety of pairings; I’ll put the h/l ones here, but go check out his work...especially the newer stuff from hs1, god, it’s so good!! 

Made of Lightning, liam/harry, louis/harry, liam/louis/harry, Harry has a secret that could tear the band apart if the truth came out. But keeping it might be even worse.

Wait and See, lots of harry pairings, Cara and Harry are trans, “I’m just—” Harry said, pausing to smooth out the wrinkles in her skirt. “I’m nervous,” she admitted. Cara reached out to tug at the hem of her skirt, guiding her over until she was stood between his legs. He pulled her down for a quick kiss, not wanting to mess up her makeup. “You look perfect,” he reassured her.

Second Spring, harry/louis, a continuation of the Pussy Pride drabbles from June, an expanded series of an American Larry AU where Harry is trans (it is SO GOOD AND GRAPHIC AND THOSE DRABBLES KILLED ME, I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS SERIES TO FINISH SO I CAN RANDOMLY REBLOG IT ALWAYS)

And finally, dear anon, this is not at all part of the previous list, but it’s all about body appreciation/worship, so I figured you’d enjoy! “I Can’t Hear You,” by kikikryslee, 9k words (E). The one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.

[comebackassholes]

🧡 Counterbalance by @louandhazaf Harry Styles loves two things: teaching ballet and racing motorcycles. Those two worlds collide when his greatest rival on the track, Louis “Tommo” Tomlinson brings his tiny siblings to Harry’s class.

🧡 time slows down whenever you're around by @butyouneverdo or In which Louis plays "soccer" and falls for the wrong boy and Harry works in a flower shop and falls for Louis — again. American High School AU.

🧡 Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

🧡 i'd never sing of love if it does not exist by @butyouneverdo Louis narrowed his eyes and walked over to Harry, smirking mischievously. His blue eyes had a certain gleam to it that made Harry’s insides feel a little funny. “Do you wanna do this?” he asked, after a while.

“Do what?” Harry asked.

“This…,” Louis said. “Use each other for sex…at all hours of the day and nothing else.”

or No Strings Attached AU

🧡 That's What I'm Here For by @taggiecb Louis Tomlinson is a dairy farmer on a tiny farm in eastern Canada. His wife of nearly thirty years has left him and his children are all grown up and out of the house. Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking. Luckily for him his children know just the man for the job.

🧡 (Something's Been) Hiding In My Heart by @lululawrence Or a Sweet Home Alabama AU where Louis comes home to finally get his divorce from Harry finalized so he can move on with his life. Alderford holds its own set of challenges when he returns, but by facing his past maybe he can find the healing he so desperately needs.

🧡 An Unbalanced Force by @kingsofeverything Harry has the rest of his life planned. 

Marriage. Career. Kids. Happily ever after.

But sometimes plans don’t work out.That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

🧡 back and forth (i kinda like it that way) by ariadne_odair girl!direction where they all work at a magazine. Liam is the big boss, Zayn is her girlfriend and raises her eyebrows a lot. Louis is 24 and a sports journalist, and not equipped to deal with Harry, who's a gorgeous 21 year old intern, that will be leaving at the end of the summer - so it's not like she should get involved anyway, right?

🧡 just a touch of your love by @a-writerwrites The only thing standing in the way of Harry and Louis getting together are...well, Harry and Louis.

🧡 Snow Big Deal by @kingsofeverything Louis is a professional snowboarder set to appear in ESPN The Body Issue and Harry is an assistant photographer working for the magazine. They have more in common than they think.

🧡 From Now Until Forever by objectlesson The girls go to Britney Nite and Louis wears Juicy track pants and Harry is not ok.

🧡 long way from the playground by ariadne_odair Louis should really get over being in love with her best friend. Harry doesn't help by acting less than platonic. Liam is Liam and Niall is the best wing woman ever.

🧡 Bleeding Love by @gaycousinlarry Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

🧡 I'm In Trouble Deep by Allthelivelonglarry, orphan_account, sammie4jones, Scrufflecake Louis has been nothing but clear with Harry from day one. “Don’t fall for me,” he said, eyes bright and dancing, fingers in Harry’s belt loops tugging him forward even as his words pushed him away. “I’m not your happily ever after.”

🧡 Show Me Life Like I've Never Seen by @all-these-larrythings Louis never expected to leave the small art studio three blocks down from his job with anything besides the painting he caught a glimpse of and simply couldn't forget.

🧡 Like an Endless Summer by objectlesson Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

[yaz-the-spaz]

I'm sure you've noticed me stalking your blog these past two days lol and I have another question if you dont mind. In my last ask you said you had some theories about zayn leaving ot4vszayn etc and I was wondering if you would expand upon them? If you dont want to write it all out, you can point me towards certain tags or other blogs if you want. I've been looking through your tags and have found a lot but I wanted to know if there is something that might be more like a timeline of sorts? Thx!!

hey there! here i finally am, so sorry to have kept you waiting but i hope this reply finds you well! :) 

now onto your questions…

so as far as a timelines @bakagamieru has some really good masterposts (x, x) that i would recommend checking out that really break things down play-by-play and i think most of which was compiled as it was happening so it’s a super great (and super detailed) documentation of all the shit that was going down during that period and all the narrative inconsistencies and stunts and back and forth, etc. they’re quite long though and, like i said, very detailed so i would recommend making sure you have plenty of time on your hands before you get sucked down a masterpost and link rabbit hole lol

and for more thoughts/theories of mine i would say check my zayn vs. ot4 tags (x, x - sorry there’s multiple iterations of this, apparently sometimes i had put a period after vs and sometimes i didn’t and now i have two tags smh at my own damn irritating inconsistency)

now onto the meat of your question, which is my current theories on zayn leaving/the zayn vs. ot4 narrative which i’m gonna put as a read more cause i’m not in the mood for ppl coming for me if they disagree, so read at your own risk folks…

so over the years there’s four main theories that i’ve personally gone back and forth over, which i’m gonna summarize quickly and try and explain as succinctly as i can my thoughts on each one and my opinion on the likelihood of it holding credence

disclaimer before i get into the explanations - a large part of my reasoning has to do with the caveat of there possibly being any kind of real tension or bad blood between zayn and louis in particular or any of the other boys. not saying that it was necessarily actually the case, just that it was a potential factor that went into my rationale and personal mental debate over the whole situation

he was coerced in some shape or form to leave and instead of fighting it, went along with it (maybe b/c he was already unhappy) - if there ever was actually any real animosity between him and louis (or harry/niall), this could explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him b/c he might have felt that zayn could’ve/didn’t fight hard enough or went along with it too easily. but all that aside, even if there was no tension between him and louis/the boys, this option makes a lot of sense because given all he talked about going through in the band (depression, the e.d., too much pressure, not having control or being able to do what he wanted, the intense and rampant closeting putting a strain on his relationship, etc.) it’s not hard to see how he might’ve felt this was the best and only option

he was coerced into leaving, tried to fight it but couldn’t (and possibly even knew for a while that it was coming) - this wouldn’t explain why louis (or the others) might have hypothetically been mad at him but instead does put more credence into the fact that that was completely contrived and pushed by mgmt, and is also just as likely as #1 to me for pretty much the same reasons, not to mention it explains some shady things that happened in the months leading up to it re him not being there for certain promo obligations and appearances, etc.

he was coerced into leaving and had absolutely no choice about it and no way to fight it (i.e. didn’t necessarily want to leave but still knew for a while that it was coming) - pretty much same reasoning as above for this one, the only difference being that in this scenario he wouldn’t have wanted to leave at all which given all he went through i just don’t know if i believe that was wholly the case (more on this below) 

he chose to leave completely on his own - although it would explain any lingering animosity, this to me is the least likely in large part because i just have a hard time believing he would have chosen all on his own to just up and leave in the middle of a tour, not to mention been allowed to (esp given that they would’ve all known they had the hiatus coming up not long after and were about to go the countries where zayn specifically probably have had the biggest following/fan support - the middle east and north africa). but even if he hypothetically really did choose it all on its own it’s hard for me to believe that he would have even been able to leave like that unless there was some element of complacency from their mgmt that allowed it to happen and then you have to wonder why would they just let 1/5 of their biggest money maker walk away with no law suits, no drama, no nothing. it stinks of a larger plan at play which is what brings me back to the theories above. 

those are the main theories that i’ve gone back and forth on and i’ve never really been able to settle on just one, but to me given all that he expressed after leaving the most likely are the first two. i think all of the boys were pretty much done with how they were being treated, but zayn especially so, and it’s very easy for me to see how, when the opportunity arose he might have accepted because he felt it was the best way to save himself (as in his mental and physical health) and possibly also his relationship, though whether that acceptance was with a little (theory #1) or lot (theory #2) of initial opposition on his part, who’s to say. however, i definitely believe that, regardless of the details, there was some element of seeding and/or coercion from tptb, esp when considered in context with the shadiness of certain things, like him not being at certain events that he should’ve legally been obligated to be at in the months leading up to his leaving if no one but him knew he was planning on leaving. or him crying at the last concert that he performed at. those do not seem to be like the actions of a man who wanted to leave completely of his own accord and without any degree of finessing by mgmt to orchestrate it. when you’re a mega popstar in the biggest band in the world you don’t just not show up to something. that’s the type of situation where people will literally come to your house and drag you out of bed because you’re costing them a shit ton of money (like millions of dollars worth of money) by not being there. there’s tons of stories of rock stars where managers or someone from their team would literally go bang down a missing band member’s door, shove them in the shower to sober them up or help them whatever they needed to do, and drag their ass on stage to perform or to a press event or whatever. so you can bet that nothing less, if not the same, would be done for a missing member of a multi-billion-dollar-making band if need be. 

so yeah zayn just not showing up for promo events and performances in the months leading up to his leaving? not believable to me at all. the only conceivable reason for him not to have been there is if mgmt didn’t want him there and the only reason (at least that i can think of) for why you wouldn’t 1/5 of your biggest money-maker to be somewhere he should have been legally obligated to be (and that might’ve cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars for him not to be) is if he wasn’t legally obligated to be there because you were already in the process of phasing him out. ergo it was very likely planned. months in advance. and if it was planned months in advance with the help and orchestration of mgmt then that story of him just deciding to up and leave is complete bs and makes it even more likely to me that there was a level of coercion (because again if 1/5 of your biggest money maker suddenly says to you ‘i wanna leave’ you’re gonna do everything in your power to make him stay so you can keep making money, not help phase him out. unless of course you want him out, which they clearly did.)

one last thing i wanna add is a link to a post i had saved that i feel adds a bit of further credence to all this, it’s nothing concrete but it’s something that helped solidify some things for me when i was a giant ball of confusion over what to believe

anyway, i know that i rambled on forever and this definitely did not end up being as succinct or brief as i had hoped (though lbr when is anything i do ever), but i hope this at least sort of answered your questions and made some amount of sense/was not too incoherent and didn’t completely bore you to death lol

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

Scared of losing you (Harry styles)

A year today your mother had passed away. She had breast cancer and lately you've been missing her and being very clingy tawards your dad, harry. You looked at the screen and tried to relax your mind but it didn't seem to help. You grabbed your dad's hand, gripping it tightly. The reason you were so clingy was because you didn't want to lose your dad. Your uncles have been acting a bit odd but they didn't seem to bring anything up so you thought nothing of it. "dad" you whispered shaking his shoulder. He looked down at you, a small smile on his lips "yeah hon" he gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "I miss mum" you said Sadly. He nodded, looking away before wrapping an arm around you "I miss her too sweetheart"

The next few days went by quickly but today was dragging for you. You felt as if you were going to be sick but you just couldn't be sick. You once again had your hand glued to your fathers hand, not letting go. Your uncles watched from behind, confusion laced on their faces. They looked at each other before Liam whispered "do you think she's ill?" the others shrugged and continued to watch you. As you sat down at the resturaunt you moved as close as you could to your dad. Louis sat on your other side and the others sat on the other side. You traced your finger over your dad's tattoos trying to distract yourself "you ok y/n?" dad asked pressing a hand to your forehead. You nodded leaning your head against his shoulder. Hot tears welled up in your eyes as you began to think bad things a tear streamed down your cheek and you looked up, making eye contact with niall who looked worried. "you ok?" he mouthed. You nodded squeezing your dad's hand tighter. You crawled into your dad's arms and he immediately hugged your tightly. You buried your head into the crook of his neck and you began quietly crying. "I don't want to lose you daddy" you whispered, your heart aching.

As you arrived at home dad put a movie on before pulling you onto his lap. He played with your hair and you sighed leaning backwards "what's wrong babe? You've been acting... Strange" you closed your eyes, biting your lip "I don't want to lose you... I'm scared of losing you" you whimpered. Dad cooed before pulling you closer and turning your around. He held the back of your head, pressing soft kisses to your forehead. "I'm not going anywhere love... I'm right here..." you could tell he was holding something back. You looked up into his eyes and noticed his green eyes had a puddle of tears gathering in them. "I've been worried too baby" he whispered into your hair. You squeezed his t-shirt tightly "I don't want to lose you" he continued, rubbing your back. You nodded managing to keep in a growing sob but you couldn't hold the second one in. "W-what if I have cancer?" dad shook his head "don't be so silly... You've been checked for it and they didn't find anything. You're OK I promise" he said softly. He wiped the tears from yours and his face. Your cheeks were rosy and your nose was red "I don't want to lose you though... I can't go through it again!" you exclaimed. He shushed you, pulling you closer against his chest. "I'm not going anywhere... If it would make you feel better we can stay home tomorrow and just cuddle... In fact we can cuddle right now. You can sleep in my room if you want to. OK" you nodded burying your head into his shoulder again. "I love you" he smiled slightly "I love you too... And y/n love.... I understand what you're going through, when your mother died I didn't know what to do and I felt broken, helpless and just pure heartache.. I understand you baby but we've got to focus on the good things and not the bad... " you nodded closing your eyes. "please get a test for cancer as well" you whispered, lip quivering. He nodded kissing your nose "ok... Don't worry now... I've got you"

[thisiskatsblog]

Hey Kat

Not really related to your question, but I thought it might interest you to know. Especially considering you've been questioning whether or not this corner of fandom is still for you.

I very much relate to what you're going through at the moment. I backed out of the fandom gradually over the course of about two years, starting in 2017. I was so sick of the push and pull, and the drama. None of it brought me any joy anymore.

In around 2019 i unfollowed essentially every 1D/harry/louis/larry blog i previously followed, except for two. As you may have gathered, you were one of those remaining blogs. The reasons you stayed on my follow list were this:

1 - Sentimentality. You probably don't remember, but we used to talk a little bit on here. You helped me accept the fact that I was bisexual when I was 23 and very confused. I am forever grateful for that. I was in denial for so long, the relief of finally accepting myself was immense. Thank you.

2 - It's been nice to have one last link to what's going on in Larry land. A part of me still wants good things for those kids, whatever their circumstances are now. Your blog was a good balance of keeping me connected to the big stuff when it happened, without getting caught up in every tiny piece of discourse.

It'll be a shame if you decide you're done with all of this. Partially because I'd miss your insight, partially because I think you are now genuinely my last connection to all of that stuff I used to care so much about. But I understand if you're feel worn out and over it. Been there. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Izzy

Hi Izzy!!!!

Yours was another answer I wanted to publish because it reminded me of what have perhaps loved most about being here: conversations such as the ones you and I had. Conversations that helped us (me as well as you) figure out how to navigate our (bi)sexuality.

What I miss very much on this blog is the real dialogue. The moments where 5 unread messages meant one long 4 part anon telling you their life story and someone else had seen something funny that reminded them of something you had said - not 4 versions of the same troll and a request to reblog an ask for money.

I miss friendship, I miss community, I miss the rainbow direction team which went on hiatus. I really miss Angela.

Lately I’ve been wondering a lot whether it’s worth sticking around. In a sense, I do want to leave, as I’m really over the hot and cold, the ups and the downs, and the energy it takes to load up every time something shitty happens. The trolling anons making all of it ten times worse.

Like for you, this blog is my "last link" to what's going on with a few people I care(d) so much about, and while cutting it would probably save me quite some energy, I cannot seem to bring myself to do it. I just can’t figure out what it then is that I want to stay around for. I feel like I’ve (co-)written such a huge story arc, but there has been no “resolution”. And to be fair, I don’t know what that resolution would look like. I’m tried trying to construct it. 

As to your message: I'm happy that I've managed to largely keep the "discourse" out and stick to the big stuff, keeping it palatable even for those who’ve had enough. It’s a compliment. Paying attention to what's important rather than to everything, I'm sure there's room for improvement, but it's the only way for me to survive here, if I can at all survive.

This ask, the previous one I published and a few others mentioned "insight" - I often question if I'm the most insightful person here, I have so little time lately to develop my thoughts on these things very well, or at all. I will reblog things that strike me, jotting my honest opinions in the tags, without thinking through or developing anything, just as they feel true to me in the moment, and I hope I have enough logic and a sound political and values framework for them to make sense as a while. I feel no energy to be truly insightful with well developed arguments checking the consistency of my positions. But I try at least to share some of what I think…

Thanks Izzy - for all of that back in the day, for opening up to a stranger, for allowing me to be part of your journey.

Thanks for continuing to follow me. I hope we stay mutuals for a bit longer

Kat