#it's not looking good for me when i'm not in uni anymore i'm not gonna lie. if i'm struggling a lot now

[itslookingback]

:/

[lyak12]

Just friends

Lucy Bronze x Reader

Summary: Lucy has been your girlfriend for three years already, but lately, she's spending more time with Ona than with you. Is she falling out of love with you?

Word count: almost 4.2k

A/N: I'm back with another Lucy fic:) Thanks to @helen-with-an-a for the inspiration:) I still have a few requests that I want to finish soon, but I'm currently swamped with uni stuff... so be patient with me. Also, there is a happy end cause my heart can't take pure Angst hahaha. I hope you enjoyy

Warnings: Anxiety, struggling with self-worth, concussion, vomiting, angsty in general, if I missed something lmk:)

Living in sunny Barcelona, playing for one of the best clubs in the world and all of that with the love of your life. A pretty perfect life one would say. Well, currently, you are feeling none of that.

You are insecure. You always have been, but normally, Lucy is quick to pull you out of that mindset. You’ve struggled with self-worth your whole life. Always thinking everyone is better than you. It has gotten better since you started dating Lucy over three years ago, but one of your biggest insecurities is still that she’ll get sick of you and leave you for someone better.

You know Ona is just a friend. She’s Spanish and they’re really close, so of course there will be lots of physical contact. You don’t mind that. You’re not jealous. You’re just scared Lucy will fall out of love with you and in love with Ona.

All the edits on Tiktok and insta were not helping. It got so bad that Lucy tried to block the hashtags on your accounts. It worked for a while but not long.

As Lucy spends the third afternoon in a row with Ona, you start to get even more insecure and a bit pissed to be honest. “Again? I thought we wanted to go to the beach today”, You ask a bit annoyed. “Am I not allowed to spend time with my friends anymore?”, Lucy asks defensive, not liking your tone. You just sigh and say, “Never mind, have fun”, you say and go into the bedroom.

Lucy doesn’t bother to come after you. You have been having the same discussion for days already. Lucy completely oblivious to the fact that your anxiety is bad at the moment, instead thinking you’re jealous. You change into some shorts and a crop top before going back into the living room, ready to take Narla to the beach instead. However, Narla is gone, too. Lucy must’ve taken her with her to Ona.

Great, you don’t even have your cuddle buddy now. Sighing again, you dry the tears that have escaped your eyes. You grab a hat and sunglasses and go to the beach on your own. Needing to spend your time somehow and the beach and ocean help clear your head.

You get home late, just needing the time to think. “Where have you been?”, is the first thing you hear when you get in before you come face to face with an angry Lucy and an excited Narla. “The beach”, you just say as you squat down to greet the dog. “Until now? You couldn’t look at your phone? I was worried out of my mind!”, Lucy asks loudly.

“I haven’t looked at my phone since I left the house”, you just say without looking at the brunette. “Y/N I’m talking to you! I was worried”, She says angrily. You flinch slightly at her tone. The tears you worked so hard to fight back threatening to escape. You look up and say “I’m sorry. I needed to think. I didn’t realize how late it was getting “, you say quietly, trying to stay busy with scratching Narla’s little belly.

“Next time, look at your phone”, Lucy just says and turns around before getting back to the couch. You cuddle Narla a bit longer, the Westie noticing the inner turmoil in you.

Eventually, you stand up and head into the living room as well. “How was your time with Ona?”, you ask quietly. “You gonna get jealous again if I say good?”, Lucy grumbles. “Lucy, I’m not jealous!”, you say defensively.

“Oh really? Then why are we having this same fight over and over again?”, she asks, looking at you. “Because you’re spending every free minute with her. It’s like you’re attached at the hip. I’m sorry I want to spend time with you too”, you argue.

“Yeah sure, that’s the reason. I’m sorry I’m spending time with my friends. Damnit, Y/N! It’s obvious you’re jealous, at least own up to it!”, Lucy yells, and that cuts deep. That sentence just lets something snap in you. “You want me to own up to it? Fine! I’m NOT fucking jealous Lucy! I’m scared. I’m scared you’re falling in love with Ona! I’m scared you’ll drop me as soon as she says yes”, you yell with tears streaming down your cheeks, letting yourself be vulnerable in front of Lucy.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous! Ona and I are friends, and that’s it! You should hear yourself. It’s absurd. Stop making a big deal out of nothing”, Lucy dismisses your fear. She has never done that before. She knows how your mind works and what she just said will make you spiral. Apparently, though, she doesn’t care.

You just look at her and dry your tears roughly. Giving her a nod before you head away from her. “Where are you going?”, Lucy asks, confused. She can see you’re still angry. “Why do you care? I thought I’m just being dramatic”, you snarl as she notices that her choice of words maybe were not the smartest.

“Y/N”, Lucy tries half-heartedly. “No. Not once have you treated me like this. You act like I’m not even here! You don’t pay attention unless I’m saying something about Ona. You know how much that hurts?”, you yell tearfully. “Now you’re exaggerating…”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You just look at her in disbelief and give her a nod. You swallow hard and say “I’m going to bed.”

With that, you leave her alone in the living room and head to the bedroom. Normally, you never go to bed angry. That is one rule that’s important to both of you. Well, tonight, the rule will be broken. By the time she comes to bed, you act like you’re asleep already. She still kisses your head, but you just pull away from her slightly.

You hear her sigh softly, but she doesn���t say anything. Eventually, you fall into a restless sleep.

As the alarm goes off the next morning, Lucy turns it off, and you just sigh. “Good morning”, Lucy says gently. “Morning”, you just grumble before you sit up with your back to her. “Seriously? You’re still pissed? Come on, it’s getting ridiculous”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You turn to her and say “Even if I wouldn’t be pissed anymore, I would be again after this comment. But yeah, of course I’m the ridiculous one. Because God forbid your stubborn brain could acknowledge that maybe you’re not as innocent as you tell yourself you are.”

You just get up and get into the bathroom. Lucy doesn’t say anything and just sighs. She really does not understand what your problem is. You get ready separately, but you’re not hungry, so you just grab a protein bar and gel to eat before practice.

The drive to the training grounds is quiet. You don’t say a word. Once in the locker room, you quickly change, but your teammates notice the tension between the two of you.

Mapi comes in just as you’re almost done changing. “Oh trouble in paradise?”, she asks with a slight tease. As an answer, you just grab your boots and drinks before walking out of the locker room.

Mapi just looks concerned at Lucy, the teasing smile wiped from her face. You normally enjoy Mapi’s teasing or at least chuckle slightly. “She’s been like that since we fought last night”, Lucy says with a soft sigh. “Last night?”, Alexia asks. Most of your team knew your rule to never go to bed angry. So as Lucy nods, most of them look concerned at each other. This has to be a bad fight.

Everyone can tell you’re not in the mood during practice. You play a lot more aggressively than usual. But not the type of aggressive that would hurt another.

You’re pushing yourself hard today, just needing to get out the frustration somehow. As you do a quick round of scrimmage halfway through practice, you run into the box to be on the end of a nice cross from Frido. However you’re a bit late, so you jump in at full speed, trying to find the ball and head it in. One of those flying headers Lucy is known for. Ona, however, is there to defend you, and since she’s running backwards, she doesn’t see you throwing yourself in for the ball.

You crash together, and the collision makes you hit the ball with your temple, unable to get it into the goal. You both land on the ground roughly, you a few feet away from Ona because of the speed you had come with.

You both groan for a moment, stars appearing in front of your eyes momentarily, your head throbbing. You close your eyes for a second, but as you hear Lucy’s voice, you open your eyes. However, her question, if you’re okay, is not directed at you. She is squatting next to Ona. That was it. Yes, Ona was lying closer to Lucy, but still.

“You okay?”, Frido asks you softly, and you just mumble “I’m fine.” You get up as Lucy walks up to you, resting a hand on your shoulder, but you immediately shrug it off and say “Don’t touch me. Don’t act like you care now.” The team has never seen you so angry. You just walk away from the brunette and make your way back to your position.

You high five Ona, not angry at her for the tackle. You squeeze the bridge of your nose slightly as you walk back. God, your head is throbbing. Your world is spinning, and you’re not feeling good at all. You try to shake it off, but Alexia can tell, so she rests a hand on your shoulder and asks “You okay, y/n/n?”

You don’t answer her trying to gather yourself. However, you only drop to all fours a few steps later as the dizziness becomes too overwhelming. “Y/N!”, Alexia yells and quickly waves the physios over.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”, the Physio asks, and you can only mumble “Dizzy, head throbbing.” Your ears were ringing slightly as you struggle to keep your composure. They look into your eyes and can see that they are unfocused. “Where did you hit the ball?”, he asks softly, having an idea what might be going on.

Your hand moves to your temple and the spot right next to your ear as you almost lose balance and face plant the grass. The physios steady you, and he says, “Yeah, that might be a concussion, let’s get you off the field and checked out.”

“Let me help”, Lucy says, wanting to help you up. “No, please just leave me alone”, you shrug off her hands with tears in your eyes. Alexia steps in and pulls you to your feet before guiding you to the physio room.

“What happened between you? Talk to me”, Alexia asks on the way, knowing the tears are from the emotional pain, not the physical. “We fought badly. She’s been spending a lot of time with Ona lately and ditches our plans for her. You know I’m not jealous. I know they’re just friends, but I’m scared Lucy is starting to fall in love with her and just waits to drop me. However, she completely dismisses my concern, telling me I’m ridiculous and dramatic. I don’t want her here. It’s like I’m not even there anymore. It's always just Ona”, you tell her tearfully, she wraps you in her arms for a second while you sob.

After a minute, you get it together, and Alexia presses a kiss to your head. “I know me saying this won’t help, but Lucy only has eyes for you, but I understand. I tell her not to come in here, but you gotta promise me you’ll talk to each other, okay?”, She says seriously. You just nod before you lie back on the physio bed.

Alexia leaves, and the physio checks you for a concussion. “So you said you’re head hurts and you’re dizzy, any other symptoms?”, he asks softly, shining a light into your eyes. “Nausea, sensitivity to light. I feel a bit out of it”, you answer, and he just nods. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is a mild concussion. The ball really hit you on an unfortunate spot. You should feel better after a few days, but for now let’s get you home and get some rest. No straining activities, keep yourself hydrated, and get some sleep, alright?”, he asks, and you nod.

He helps you get changed before driving you home. The motion of the car makes the nausea so much worse that you throw up as soon as you're home. You try to rest and sleep, but your head won’t let you. The thoughts just crashing on each other making you restless, so you pull on your sunglasses and a hat, grab your headphones to dampen the sounds and make your way to one of your favorite spots at the beach. It’s not a long walk, so you’re fine. The area is usually not filled with many people, so you just lean against the railing and look out on the sea as you sink into your thoughts.

Meanwhile, Alexia walks back out to see everyone have a small water break. Lucy is standing with Keira and Ona, nibbling on the bottle nervously. “How is she?”, she asks Alexia, concerned. “She’s hurt, not just physically. Lucy, what the hell is going on with you? You know how Y/N is, you can’t tell her she’s dramatic and ridiculous, thinking she won’t spiral”, Alexia says a bit angry. Everyone on the team knows that you need reassurance, especially when those thoughts in your head get too loud. And they all could see that was the case lately. “What?”, Keira and Ona ask at the same time as they look at Lucy disappointed. “She was going on and on about how I keep spending time with you and never with her. I just figured she was jealous, and it isn’t a big deal. And as she told me she’s scared I will fall in love with you just something in me snapped, I couldn’t stop it”, Lucy tries to argue quietly as she looks at Ona, but she knows she’s in the wrong here.

Alexia just smacks her hard in the back of the head and grumbles “Estúpida!” “Lucy, her logical brain knows that there is just friendship between us. But you know how insecure she can get, and it’s been getting worse again lately. You should’ve been more attentive”, Ona says, disappointed. “Yeah you better fix this before it's too late”, Keira says seriously, and Lucy just sighs, realizing that she really messed up. “Right now she doesn’t want to see you, I think she has a mild concussion so give her some space, but you guys gotta talk tonight”, Alexia says and gives the brunette a little shove back onto the field.

At the end of practice, Lucy immediately runs to the physio room, but you’re gone. „Where is she?“, Lucy asks the physio as he comes in. „I drove her home. She needs rest“, he says, and she just looks worried at him. „Lucy, relax. It’s just a mild concussion. The ball just hit her at the wrong spot. She’ll be okay in a few days“, he says reassuringly, but it does little to calm her worries. She pushes her hair out of her face and takes a deep breath. „I know, I just really messed up. Thank you for driving her home. I gotta go“, Lucy says and jogs into the locker room. Changing with the speed of light before grabbing her bag and running out again. She doesn’t have time for a shower. She needs to get to you.

Speeding home, she runs in and looks around for you, but the apartment is empty. Grabbing her phone, she calls Alexia. „She’s not here“, Lucy says as soon as Alexia picks up. „Lucy, calm down. What?“, Alexia says, still in the locker room with most of the girls. Ona and Keira look up as Lucy‘s name falls, coming a bit closer so they can hear too. „She’s not here. Y/N is not here. She was told to rest, where is she? What if something happened?“, Lucy asks, worried. Rechecking all the rooms. „Hey Luce, calm down. Come on, take a deep breath“, Ona says, and Lucy rubs a hand over her face before taking a deep breath. „Think. Is there any place Y/N could be? Any place she likes to go to think?“, Keira asks gently but worried about you as well.

The line is silent for a moment as Lucy tries to think. „Isn’t there a spot at the beach close to your apartment that she likes?“, Alexia asks as she remembers you telling her about something like that. „Yeah, I think I know where she is. I‘ll keep you updated, thank you“, Lucy says and hangs up before she grabs her keys and phone and is out the door again. Leaving a completely confused Narla behind.

She sends a quick text to Ona and asks her if she could take Narla out while she was looking for you, which she, of course, does. She runs almost the whole way to the beach. As she gets to the part where it is quiet and especially during this time empty, she sees you leaning at the railing. She sends a quick „I found her“, message to the three girls and packs her phone away. Catching her breath, she slowly approaches you.

„What are you doing here?“, you just ask without looking at the brunette. You know exactly who it is without having to take a look. „I wanted to make sure you’re okay“, Lucy says softly, taking your headphones from your ears carefully. You look at her, your eyes hiding behind your sunglasses. „As you can see I’m fine“, you just say.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Can we please talk?”, Lucy asks softly. “What? You just wanna tell me I’m ridiculous again? I can deal without, thank you”, You just say and turn to look out to the sea again. “Hey, no”, Lucy says and guides your chin back to look at her. She pushes your sunglasses up to look into your eyes and says honestly “I messed up badly, and I’ve been an ass. I didn’t pay attention and did not treat you like you deserve. I’m sorry. I know a simple I’m sorry won’t do it, but I need you to know that.”

“You know how disgusting it feels to be treated like you make a big deal out of nothing, when it’s all you can think about? When your insecurities and anxiety get dismissed with a simple, you’re being ridiculous? You know how I am Lucy. My logical brain knows that Ona and you are just friends. A simple reassurance and afternoon spend together would’ve fixed everything, but instead, you had to treat me like a piece of shit. Like I’m just this jealous clingy girlfriend. Do you know how much that hurt? To feel like you’re throwing three years away just like that? I’m not asking you to stop spending time with her or not checking on her when she goes down during practice, but, for fucks sake, don’t take me for granted. I don’t need much, but if you want this relationship, you gotta treat me with the respect and love I deserve. Because I can’t take whatever this is much longer. Love me or leave me, that simple”, you tell her as tears start to fall from your eyes. The more words leave your mouth the more tears fall.

She knows how fast you can spiral, but she hasn’t expected it to be this bad. She gently dries your tears as she starts to tear up a bit herself. “Y/N I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I acted like that. I should’ve seen how much my behavior hurt you. Instead, I just kept going and didn’t pay attention. I was wrong, and you didn’t deserve that. I never wanted you to even think about doubting that my love for you is still there. I messed up, and yes, I took you for granted without noticing, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Y/N, I love you. I love you so much, and I don’t know how my head got so messed up that I stopped trying to show that to you. I’m truly sorry, I promise to make it up to you if you let me. I promise, I love you like you deserve because you deserve the world, my love”, Lucy says honestly, and you just hiccup slightly, trying not to sob. This is all you needed to hear, but you spiraled so deep you’re not sure if you can trust her words.

“Are you just saying this, or is this the truth?”, you ask tearfully. “It’s the truth, please let me make it up to you and love you like you deserve”, Lucy says softly, scared that she really messed up so bad that she’s past the point of a second chance. “Okay”, you mumble quietly, praying you won’t regret trusting her. You’re just in a bad place mentally, and it’s hard to even trust Lucy.

As she hears the okay, she’s quick to pull you into her arms and kisses your forehead. She holds you close, and you cling to her, crying into her chest. Tears are falling down her cheeks as well, but her focus is on you. She needs to take care of you now, treating you like you deserve.

It takes you a few minutes to calm down, Lucy’s heartbeat being able to pull you out of those dark clouds in your head and into a more relaxed state. But that also makes you feel the symptoms of the concussion again. It’s a blessing and a curse. You squeeze your eyes shut as your world spins.

Lucy can tell how unsteady you’re getting, so she just tightens her grip on you and says “Shh, I got you, my love. Let me take care of you.” You just clutch her shirt tightly, leaning on her heavily. Your head pounding. “Let’s get you home. You want me to call a cab to get us home?”, Lucy asks softly as she kisses your head. “No, the motion makes me throw up. I’ll be okay, just give me a minute”, you mumble and try to breathe through the pain and dizziness.

“Take your time, I’ll carry you if you need me too”, Lucy says, and you know she will, but it’s a 15-minute walk to your shared apartment. “Yeah and then you won’t be able to walk for the next three days because of your knee”, You tease weakly. Lucy can’t help but smile at this slight return of banter. “It’s worth it for you”, Lucy just says with a soft shrug and smiles before she kisses your forehead.

You just smile softly and rest against her for a moment longer, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay, I’m ready”, you mumble, and Lucy wraps an arm around your waist to steady you while you make your way home slowly. “When you need a break, tell me”, Lucy says and kisses your temple gently, and you nod.

To be fair, by the time you’re almost home, she is half carrying you. You’re exhausted and definitely pushed yourself too hard today after your concussion. The nausea gets worse the more you walk, so barely five minutes away you stop Lucy and start to throw up again into the grass without much of a warning. “Okay, I got you, love. Deep breaths”, Lucy says, gathering your hair and rubbing your back while keeping you steady. There is not much for you to throw up, so you calm down quickly, but your legs are threatening to give out.

“Do you want me to carry you on my back or bridal style? What do you think will make you less dizzy?”, Lucy asks, it’s not a question of if. It’s how you want to be carried. “Bridal”, you just mumble quietly. Being able to hide your face in Lucy’s neck sounds amazing. She picks you up immediately and carries you the rest of the way home. Did her knee protest a bit? Yes, but she’d do it all over again without a thought.

Once home, she carries you to bed, and you’re greeted by Narla, who jumps on the bed and showers you in kisses. Lucy sets up a bucket and enough water before tucking you in. “Get some sleep. Rest that pretty head of yours. I’ll be here when you wake up”, Lucy says, running her fingers through your hair. “Promise?”, “Promise. I love you”, Lucy says softly.

“I love you too, I missed you”, you just mumble before you doze off. The last thing you feel is a kiss on your forehead.

[linoveins]

hi sweetie, how are u? i luv ur writings ^^

could you write a fic about lino's tummy scar? i'm so soft about it, wanna worship him 🥺

a/n: hi!! i'm really stressed with uni rn :( i finally found time to write this though! it's just simple and short i hope u like it!! i felt all warm and fuzzy writing this. i adore minho sm i wanna worship him toooo (also have you seen the latest pics of him he looks so buff like DAMN)

+-+-+-+-+

idol!minho is really busy and tired from work lately. reader misses him and takes matters into their own hands.

genre: smut, fluff, some angst

warnings: MDNI! oral m!receiving, body worship, mentions of dom minho, dirty talk.

w.c.: 1.6k

minho had been busy lately from all the comeback preparations. you knew how hectic his schedule was so you don't blame him for the lack of quality time between you two.

you know how physically and mentally exhausting it is for him, waking up at 6 in the morning and often coming home past midnight.

you have been together for multiple comebacks now. you knew the drill. both of you did. and still you can't get used to it. but you didn't wanna add onto the things he was thinking, and all of this was really out of both your control, so you just made the most of what you had. but you still miss him.

sure, whenever he comes home, he lays on his side of the bed and pulls you closer to him from behind. sometimes he leaves a trail of soft kisses on your shoulder before passing out.

but you miss more of him. so when he came home a little bit earlier tonight, just an hour before midnight, you can't help but tackle the man in bed and hug him tight. you were practically squeezing and grabbing his skin while you buried your face on the crook of his neck.

you inhale him in.

you latch onto his figure, your body on top of him hugging impossibly tighter, and you all but melt.

he smells so good. so familiar and warm and just... good. you nuzzle your head deeper into his neck as you hear him chuckle and wrap his arms around you.

"you missed me, jagi?" minho says softly while running his hand down your back with the other, petting your hair.

you hum in agreement while licking his neck, just smelling him not enough anymore.

"smell so good, min." you mumble against his skin in between soft kisses.

minho coos at your actions. you're too adorable right now.

soon enough you started biting and sucking on his neck. you wanted to swallow him. you haven't felt him for so long you thought you were gonna lose your mind.

"mmh.. you want something, baby?" minho says, his breathing a bit labored. he missed you so fucking much too.

you remove yourself from the comfort of his neck to really look at him.

his eyes were gazing up at you tiredly, but still full of love and longing. you can see him trying to fight his eyes from closing.

"i just want you. but you're tired-"

"it's okay, i want you too. just give me a moment-"

"shh." you kiss his lips softly. and then his nose, and then leaving a bunch of kisses on his temple. "can i take over for now? wanna make you feel good. wanna take care of you this time."

you say it so sweetly with pleading eyes. how can he deny you, really?

"okay, baby."

you smile brightly at that, and minho feels like his heart is about to burst.

his sweet angel. the sweetest. what did he ever do to deserve you?

noticing the furrow on his brow, you planted a kiss to it.

"don't worry. just relax. it's okay if you fall asleep. my baby has been working so hard..."

your hands start to run over his chest, and you notice how big he's gotten. you gave one of his pecs a squeeze and he laughs.

"yah, stop playing."

"okay, okay. help me take this off." you tug on his shirt. "wanna kiss all of you."

"yeah?" minho says with a teasing smile before helping you get his shirt off.

and holy fuck.

his PT sessions really did one on him. his chest had gotten bigger and firmer. not just that. you can tell he's getting more buff all over.

"jagi." minho says, pulling you out of your trance.

"min, holy shit! so beautiful.." your soft hands run all over his exposed body and he can't help but shiver at the contrast of your warmth from the chill of the room.

"you like it?" he teases, obviously already knowing the answer.

you answer with a lick on his pecs and you can feel him stiffen beneath you. you're groping and squeezing all over and minho can't help the huffs slipping past his pretty lips.

"jagiya, don't tease." he warns.

"but you're so pretty." you whine while kissing his skin. "your arms have gotten bigger..."

you gave them a firm squeeze.

"so strong." you feel minho's cock twitch at the praise. "you could easily take me. any way you want."

your voice is dizzying. your words are sending him to heaven. you're regularly not this vocal. well, not with coherent words coming out of your mouth. but usually, it's him doing the talking. so this is new. he feels like he's floating.

"and these." you squeezed his pecs again. "you always complain about working out. but you did it. im so proud of you."

you leave a bunch of wet kisses down his torso until you reach his scar. you know minho wasn't the type to show off his body. he thought his scar isn't exactly something people would like to see.

when you both first had sex, the lights were all off as per your wishes. what you didn't know was that minho wanted that too for his own concerns since he didn't want to let you see him that time.

once you two got more comfortable with each other, you assured him the scar looked "sexy as fuck", which made him laugh.

and it really was. minho thought you just said that cause you loved him, and since the scar was on him, your love would naturally extend to that. but no, even just the scar on him is really hot. he still didn't believe you so you told him "it's like toji fushiguro with his scar". he kinda got it after that.

you kissed the permanent mark on his body, whispering out a little "pretty".

minho was incredibly horny at this point but his heart also felt heavy from the overwhelming emotions you're pulling out of him.

you lick the length of the scar, and his cock pokes at you from within his sleep shorts.

"baby-"

"i got you." you whisper softly while trailing more wet kisses down his belly until you reach the hem of his shorts.

minho hisses as you pull the material down, his heavy dick springing up.

your soft hand grips the shaft and he clenches his jaw hard.

"always so hard and pretty for me." you say with gentle strokes. "so big..."

minho can't help the little whimper escaping his throat.

you're driving him insane.

"love hearing you, min." you swipe your thumb on the tip and give it a gentle squeeze. "i always cum so hard when you're panting in my ear."

minho moans loudly at your words. his sweet baby is talking so dirty. all his.

his cock looks fucking good in your hand right now, all red, and hard, and fucking leaking. you lick the head for a taste and it takes everything out of minho not to cum fast.

it's been so long. but you're here again, all pretty and enchanting with his cock in your mouth.

soon enough, you started sucking him off, trying to take as much as you can in your mouth and gripping the rest of what you can't fit with your hand. you're minding your teeth, swirling your tongue just how he likes it, and drooling on it.

the squelches are driving both of you crazy. he tried his best to open his eyes and he starts gripping the sheets hard so he wouldn't use them to hold your head and just fuck up into it.

minho wasn't really a man of spirituality and religion but this? you deserved all of his devotion. your eyebrows are scrunched in focus, eyes a bit teary and hazed from taking his cock just how he likes it– just how he taught you, and your fucking mouth. your pretty fucking lips wrapped around him, your hot, and wet tongue- it's too fucking much.

and you're moaning. you're moaning on his cock as if you're the one getting the most pleasure out of it. his sweet messy fucking angel.

after a couple of squeezes from your hand and swirls from your tongue, you could feel him tightening, and you look up right into his eyes.

he cums hard, moaning your name coupled with strings of praises. you keep licking and swallowing all he could offer. your personal fucking God.

minho is breathing heavily, still trying to calm down from the intense orgasm. he's long gone but it's okay. you clean up the other mess and take care of him like you said you would and like he always does.

"thank you, jagi." minho smiles as he kisses you on the lips. he tries to escalate it further, pushing his tongue past your mouth, but you break the kiss.

"mmh- you should sleep. you have an early day tomorrow." you say while minho groans.

"but you-"

"some other time. you're barely awake!" you giggle while minho tries to grab you. you can't believe you're getting away with interrupting him multiple times tonight. you bet his half-asleep brain can't even register that right now. you laugh softly at his cuteness.

he eventually just cuddles you, his breathing now even and his eyes closed.

"i love you, y/n. m'sorry for not being here a lot." he says sleepily, whispering into your ear.

"i love you too. and don't worry. i'll keep being here when u get home."

"miss you... a lot. wanna make it up to you" minho mumbles while pulling you closer.

"you will." you melt into his embrace. "but sleep for now, hm?. i miss you too. so much..."

[doki-doki-imagines]

author note: @kenruu told me this idea couldn't stay in the dms and I wrote it. I'm really sad thanks to uni so I can't really say if this is good or not. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it.

Sae is a man with a precise objective, being the best midfielder in the world. “It’s simple” Sae thinks, he has the talent, works hard, it’s obvious he’ll be able to do it, and his mind never wavers. Football is his whole world, his only thought.

Then Sae met you, and it’s not like his world changed, he kept training and winning, just, this time, in a little chink of his brain you started to grow, filling that little space with info of you.

“They would like this” “If they saw this their reaction would be so cute” it doesn’t happen often to be thinking of you, but when it does a dumb smile plaster on his face.

Until it’s not a seldom thought, but it becomes relentless, a thrum he can’t brush away, and honestly? Sae wants to vomit.

Sae hates it, every time he imagines your face his chest roar, and he can hear the blood rushing to his face, every time he thinks he’s gonna pass out like a fool on the ground.

At first, it was something happening only inside the closed door of his mansion, maybe you sent him a cute video or just told him about your day and Sae was fine with this; he can look like a dumbass fool in his own house, but not on the field.

Sae can’t stop thinking of you, football isn’t his main objective anymore and for the first time he feels weak, football is his entire life, he is nothing without that; damn chink and damn your smile, your cute face your fucking entire being.

And it doesn’t matter how many times the red hair hits his head against the cement wall of the stadium, hits it hard enough to break skin and leave blood, he can’t get you out of his mind.

“Sae, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but if you want to play the next match you need to pull your shit together.” His coach told him after the umpteenth missed cross.

Breath gets stuck in his throat, Sae feels like he just got stabbed in the heart; he must put a stop to this situation.

“Get out!”

“I’m coming Sae, did something happen?”

This is why he is now in front of your house, 3 hours before the match starts with blood in his eyes, and fists tight on his sides.

“Tell me you hate me.” Your eyes widened, this looks serious.

“Sae you know it isn’t-“

“I’m in love with you and- Shut up! Don’t you dare open your mouth, let me finish-“ He has his teeth bared, index finger up pointing at you “And you have to reject me, I can’t go on like this.”

It’s like a cold shower, for sure not what you expected to hear on a normal Thursday afternoon.

You keep your lips sealed, you can see in his irises a little quiver, but he keeps looking at you straight in the eyes, his index now down, hand moving like he wants to throw something on the ground, maybe a thought he preferred to scrap instead of voicing it.

“Please, I need you to reject me” He shuts his eyes, and curl his nose in his typical disgusted expression, you notice small tears hanging on his reddish lashes now rolling down his cheeks, bottom lip wounded, red by the incessant bit of his canine.

You never saw him so desperate, so vulnerable, if you listened closely you could hear cracks every time he tried to speak up.

“Are you even listening to me” Sae's voice is harsh, as always, but there is no bite in his words. You take a step closer and constrain every muscle of your body to stay there, don’t move.

Crack.

“I need to concentrate on football, there is my entire life at risk here-“ A sigh breaks his phrase, and you feel your heart cracking “I-I don’t want to like you anymore” he brushes his little fringe back, arms moving around and feet moving back and forth without making a real step; he looks so nervous.

Crack.

Your breath itch, you feel your heart in your throat, not because of his words, but for how desperate he sounded; you don’t want to hear him like this ever again.

You get closer.

“Fuck, say something! Don’t just look at me with those dumb puppy-” You sprint, your hands reach his jaw, your fingertips are so soft and Sae's lips change into an ugly, wobbly grimace, eyebrows furrowed.

Your lips press on his, it’s fast and delicate, if he closed his eyes he wouldn’t have seen it. You pull away, but don’t put space between your bodies, lips a whisper away from each other.

“I’ll be the one-“ one of your hand leave his jaw to brush away some red hair that sticks on his cheek “to bring you to victory, let me work my magic” He is looking at you dumbfound, his irises wobbly.

You kiss him again, but this time you grip the back of his hair to push him into a more forceful kiss.

Crack. He feels like something in his heart break, everything hurt and his hands tingle so much they hurt. Something must have been broken.

Sae this time reciprocates with equal, if not even more, passion, his hands finally find peace on your back, low on your back, pushing your body impossibly close to his.

You break the kiss, breath heavy a string of saliva still connects your mouths, you are fast at removing it.

“Go and win that match.”

Sae nods, a dumb smile plaster on his face, but you can barely see it as he laid his head on your shoulder. He kisses you again, just a simple press of lips, and runs back towards the stadium, new life on his legs reinvigorated more than ever.

“Maybe loving you and football can coexist in my head” He thinks.

For sure that night your magic did work.

[miss-may-i]

Miss May I: Season 5 Part 15

Isabella: I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss you so much.

Richie: I'm gonna miss you too, but I need to go so I can take care of you once I'm back.

Damian: Good luck at uni, man. If anyone can do it, it's you.

Damian: Don't let the big city change you too much.

Richie: Don't count on it. Someone has to keep an eye on you hicks.

Isabella: I can't believe he's really leaving. What am I supposed to do without him?

Julian: Bell, there's more to life than just being a housewife.

Isabella: You're one to talk, Mommy. Just look how cute Jasper is. Every time I see him I can't wait to have my own.

Julian: What if I'm pregnant?

Isabella: What do you mean what if you're pregnant? Then we jump up and down and cheer. This is what you want, right? You're not 16 anymore. You're married now. You actually want this one. I mean, not that you didn't want Jasper, but you know what I mean. This one was on purpose. Right?

Julian: Noah's been using.

Isabella: Using? What, like drugs?

Julian: Yeah.

Isabella: How do you know?

Julian: My mom was an addict. I know all the signs. Money is disappearing without a trace. He's moody or tired all the time. He screams at me in front of Jasper. He's gone all the time but lied about being fired from his job.

Isabella: None of those things are good. What are you going to do?

Julian: I'm gonna ask Vivi if Jasper and I can stay with him for a while. I can't bring him back to that house with Noah how he is.

Isabella: That's a good idea. But what if you're pregnant?

Julian: I'm not sure. I still have to take a test. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.

Previous | Beginning | Next

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4

Family Tree

*Guys' poses by @bmit04*

[babybluebex]

my latest dom “fantasy,” whatever you wanna call it, has been ur the actor who plays niece elise in the holdovers and you two like each other when filming but since your part is small you don’t see each other till a streaming of the movie when you reconnect. 🤗

oh my god stop the presses this is CUTE

you're kinda joking together and laughing inbetween takes, but you're both nervous because you have to kiss and neither of you have ever done that before (kissed other people, yes, but on screen, for the whole world to see, never) but dom's a sweetheart and you do the scene and it goes off without a hitch, and you're maybe a little disappointed when alexander payne says they got the shot they needed and that you don't need to do it again

and like yeah, you're only on set for like 1 day, and you managed to follow dom on instagram but like sorta forgot about him inbetween filming and release time?? like you both got busy and just, whatever, but then the movie comes out and at first seems like it's just gonna be any other movie, you still post pictures from set on your instagram and celebrate it, and, for the first time since meeting him, dom comments on your post "so much fun, if you're ever around my way, text me" and you're like ⁉️

and you shoot off a dm at him, sorta like "hey i was finally able to watch the whole movie and you did really good" and he texts back like "aw thanks, that's really sweet" and you ask "back then, you lived in massachusetts, where are you now?" and he says "i'm in philly right now for school, but i'm taking spring semester off, so i'll probably go back to jersey with my mom"

and you start talking like every day then, now that the door is open you can't stop, he's always sending you memes and telling stories, and you send him memes about HIM as you watch him become the new it boy (and maybe you're a little jealous bc he was YOUR boy first, he was YOUR little secret, but not so much anymore), and THEN the movie starts to get acclaim?? and it looks like it might be something more than some movie you made a few years ago for a single day?? it's turning into something bigger than that?? all your friends at uni knew that you were in the movie and had gone and seen it and teased you about the kiss, but now you're getting stopped by strangers on the way to lecture and asked about the movie?? like wtf!!

and you and dom are steady texting every day like "DUDE" "DUDE I KNOW", and it starts getting awards buzz, all the best actor and best supporting actress and breakthrough actor and everything is WILD, and you're always texting him to congratulate him winning this award or that award, and you slowly start to realize. oh shit i have a crush on him. oh fuck i'm whipped for this guy.

and the day the oscars nominees are announced, you're in lecture, and your phone starts ringing and yelling at you, and your lecturer is like "do you need to take that?" and you sorta laugh "no, whatever it is, it can wait..." and you finally dig your phone out of your bag and see it's dom wanting to video call?? which doesn't happen often, for as famous of an actor as he is now, he hates seeing himself on camera and even if you do video call, his camera is off most the time, so for HIM to initiate a video call is VERY bizarre "... actually, sir, i do need to take this, i'm sorry"

and you go in the hall and answer the call, and dom is yknow DOM, messy frizzy hair and his shirt on backwards and he's frantic, and you're like "did you just wake up, what's going on??" and he says "have you seen yet?!" "seen what??" "jesus christ, i can't fucking believe this—" "dominic, what's going on?" "holdovers has been nominated for best picture at the oscars"

and you black out for a second and snap back in and you're like "we're WHAT"

and dom says "what're you doing on march 10th?? can you come to the oscars?? do you even want to??" "yeah i'd love to, but i-i need to get to LA, and i need a dress, and i need a date—" "how about me? i'll take you"

and when you reunite in los angeles for the oscars, it's the first time you've seen him in the flesh in like nearly 2 years, but you run to him and hug him, and he hugs you back, and it's such a happy moment and you can't believe that this is your life

and all night, people are complimenting your dress and your hair and makeup, and dom won't stop trying to get people to pay attention to you, he's in a little interview on the carpet and he's asked who his date is, and he grabs you by the hips "my wonderful costar, she played elise in the movie" and everybody has the same reaction, they hear your character's name and then stare at you for a second until it clicks "oh! you did so good in the movie!!"

and dom is so nervous and anxious all night, he sorta joked "i know we won't win, there's no shot in hell, oppenheimer's gonna win, so why am i nervous??" and you hold his shaking hands in yours and try to calm him as much as possible, but cameras catch you holding hands and the way he whispers in your ear to talk to you, and like HALFWAY through the show, your friends sends you a link to a variety article that mentions the best dressed at the awards, and dom is on there, and the little text blurb under his picture says "sessa is attending the show with his girlfriend and costar" and your friend is like "GIRLFRIEND??" and you're like "wait" and apparently everybody online has mistaken your physical closeness for a relationship, and you show dom during a commercial break just to be like "oh haha look at this, they think we're dating"

and he hits you with the "are we not?" "what do you mean 'are we not'?" "i mean, i thought... i thought we've been dating for a while. i've been telling people all night that you're my girl" and you shiver with delight at how casually he says his girl, but like "you thought... well, when would we have started dating?" "you remember a few months ago, the conversation we had about how, like, i'm bad at relationships and you don't like commitment, and i said i'd try to be better and you said you'd try to commit to someone? i thought that was us agreeing to start dating"

and like shit yeah you DO remember that conversation, it was like 3am and you were on facetime for HOURS that night and you're like "oh! well... yeah, that can be it." and dom's like "sooo.... does that mean i can kiss you?" and it's a gentle, soft kiss, just like your first one so long ago

and that night, you reunite with paul and da'vine (who you had met in passing on set), and towards the end of the night, da'vine sends you a photo she took on her phone of you and dom, holding each other, foreheads touching, giggling together, and you hard launch your shit on instagram with that picture "we may not have won best picture, but i won best boyfriend <3"

[bloodyjuls-blog]

The worst of us (part 2)

Here's the second part. We gonna have a third part and maybe fourth amongst this week (I go to Uni) (let me know if you like the drama or less drama for next part)

"Hi, y/n" Leah said. "Hi capi how are we doing" I said in a shaky voice. "what's up y/n, are you crying?" Leah said concerned by my tone of voice. "it's just that i messed up in a way" you said with a shrinking voice. "what did you do y/n and why do I get the feeling it has something to do with Alexia" Leah said more seriously. I told her what I had heard in the locker room... "but that's ok innit" "she visualized with you in the long run" she said calmer. "yeah but you know how much I went through before I met her to have to deal with that" y/n she said calmer " "I thought you had everything under control y/n" Leah said flatly. "that's what i thought, everything was fine until a few months ago, she found the bottles in the dishwasher and didn't say anything. how the hell did she not say anything, being a footballer and drink without control" you said hysterically. "but you can go to therapy again, you can control it" said Leah. "I feel like all this pressure from marriage and kids, media, Giraldez, it's drowning me LEAH. Ahh fuck, I'm going crazy" "who do you think you are to cross the traffic light like that, fucking crazy" you said in a way that even you don't recognize yourself. "Y/N calm down now, I hope you're not driving" "Of course I'm driving Leah" "Alexia decided it was best for me to leave, it's all fucking over. I can't take it anymore" you said crying. "Don't do something crazy please, if you're going to drink, go home, it's safer" said Leah in a worried tone. "No tonti, I'm not going to do anything bad," you said more calmly. Yet another lie, I thought. Of course you spent the whole night drinking at the 24h market close to home. You'd be as dead as a doornail the next day at training

Next day at training

"Well girls, as we all know, we have the champions match day coming up, I want everyone to be plugged in and eager to win," said Jonatan. "Yes coach" we all answered in unison. Once on the court the group was divided by positions and it was my turn to play against Alexia. Not surprisingly, none of the girls spoke to me. They were clearly leaning towards the captain. That made me very angry, that I hadn't done anything wrong enough to be disowned. To say I felt bad was too little for everything that was crossing my mind at the time. One thing they tell you is not to mix work and home but when your home is your colleague it becomes impossible, let alone seeing her as beautiful as ever. In a different situation, the girls would be more supportive and condescending to me but no, today was the day to make my life a hell.

A couple of exercises later I felt like I was going to faint, the spring heat and the monumental hangover I'm carrying don't help. In one of those passes that I have to receive I get lost and my team yells at me in a way that is so fucking scary, those beasts are scary. Alexia looks at me with rage, I don't think I've ever seen her so upset with someone, not even with the fucking gals of real madrid. If these things happen to me because I'm stupid. To say that right now I was at my strongest mental point is a lie, but I was doing what I could. In one play we had to clear the ball and of course as my luck couldn't be worse today I had to receive in front of Alexia. Not having the physique today to give it my all, Alexia got there first and threw a missile in my face. "Ouch" I thought as I fell unconscious on the grass. Alexia approaches me and tells me in the most venomous way possible "let's see if you wake up and stop drinking. The example you set for the little ones. Very good, very good". At that moment I couldn't think of anything but pain and Alexia's words. I think if I had to compare it to anything it would be a stab in the back. Alexia knows my weak points and yet she uses them against me.

At the medical room they put ice packs and ointment on my face for the bruises. luckily nothing is broken beyond an eyebrow. I head home before and out of nowhere I get flashbacks of all those times I was told that I was not a good example, that I was not enough, that I should not spend my time in football, but what bothers me the most is that it reminds me of when my father told me that I was a bad example for my nephews, because of them I changed. Sometimes things do not turn out the way you want. And as I knew that this day was going to end worse I decided to take a flask of whiskey in my backpack. It was not a good idea.

As I go into the locker room to get my stuff I hear the girls laughing about something Alexia said. I let myself listen to her a little bit because I know that when I go in they will shut up and give me funny looks. I hear her say "maybe it wasn't the right time or she, all of a sudden her alcohol problem came back". But since she is so sneaky about telling my stuff to the others. "Alexia you can just shut up and stop telling my things, at least respect what I once in privacy told you" I said it in the most calm and broken way possible. Suddenly because of the alcohol I had already had. They all went quiet and went back to their things. Alexia looked at me and I grabbed my stuff and left. Bad idea, I couldn't drive with alcohol on me. Fucking alexia, fucking family club, fucking liquor. Angry, I got in the car to go to my special place.

In the locker room the English girls came in, joking about y/n had brought a flask of whiskey and hadn't hesitated to drink it during practice. All the girls reacted and started to worry. "What's up girls?" said Keira, still laughing. "What's going on here is that most of the people here have been making fun of y/n and her alcohol problems, thanks alexia, and now she has gone home in her car drunk" said Ana a little more upset. To tell the truth Ana has always been on my side, it has to do with the amount of years we have known each other, I consider her one of the family but with the alcohol recently, I have moved away a little.

Already in the car I'm a little dizzy, everything is spinning and the memories are killing me. To say that driving like this is ok is reckless, don't do it under any circumstances. A couple of hours later I find myself back in Alexia's neighborhood, wandering around like a fool, as if she was going to show up. I decide to go up the Tibidabo but in the vicinity I come across a curve which I try to maneuver as best I can but apparently it beats me. The only thing I remember is calling Alexia. "Hi y/n, what do you want" says Ale a little angry "Hi bonita, I want to hear you and I want you to know that I love you with all my heart" you say almost without air in your lungs because of the blow "and please forgive me for not being enough for you, I swear that everything makes sense, but there is nothing to do anymore. That you were always a family to me " "why are you saying that y/n, I'm getting worried ""where are you ""goodbye alexia, I love you" you said before you hung up and your whole world turned black.

[wontwowon]

WHAT - 13 : What do I do?

wc. (769)

Waking up to a bunch of notifications can be either a blessing or a curse. When I saw all the notifications I thought maybe my post went viral.

The group chat was full of notifications, maybe they were congratulating me?? Or maybe Belle and Ricky were arguing about something stupid.

Niki also texted me. Maybe he wanted more robux, or was asking for a shoutout since I told people to unfollow him as a joke. 

I went on twitter- my biggest mistake.

My dm’s were full of death threats. 

Full.

Even as I refreshed the page, more and more kept coming.

Yujin’s post

Was it some sick kind of joke? She was playing the victim??

I couldn't get too much into it. I had a test I had to go to. I didn't even want to think about everyone. Do I reply? Do I skip?

“Yn!! Time for school, your math test is today!” 

That's right, I have to get good grades for her, my mom. I push myself up.

I don't want to go, but I will.

Yunjin didn’t bother to walk with me. I see her walking, but the dirty glare she gives me tells me already not to talk to her.

I don't blame her…

As I walk into the building I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Not only strangers, but also the people I call friends.

Yunjin and Karina glare at me. Taesan looks at me without any emotion- somehow scarier than the girls. Sohee looks betrayed- hurt- confused. And Hanbin, he looks… sorry?

I think what hurts the most is Sunghoon, he’s with Yujin.

She cries in his arms, and he consoles her. 

I want to be her. I want to cry in his arms. Why, why am I suffering. 

I try not to think about it as I head to math. I see Heeseung. 

Do I sit next to him?? Will he glare at me too?

I just sit where I normally do, Heeseung moves.

Do they seriously believe the post? Do I really seem fake?

I can hear my classmates whisper, it doesn't sound good. I put my head down, desperately trying to focus on math. 

Luckily the math teacher comes, and silences everyone. He passed the math tests.

He stops at me, maybe it’s because I'm wearing a shitty outfit, or maybe because I have no makeup? 

“Kids these days..” he whispers at me, while shaking his head. So.. he’s seen it too.

Has everyone seen it? Does everyone hate me? 

I can't even see the paper, my eyes full with tears, blurring the questions. I can’t help but zone out. Am I really the bad guy?? 

What do I do?

Do I leave again? Run away again?

That's all I know.  

I always run, running is easy.

So I do.

I get up and leave, I can hear the teacher call my name out. I can see Heeseung staring at me, slightly concerned. 

I speed walk in the hall, I left my bag in the class but I don't care.

I hear people whisper about me, but I don't care.

I just want my mom. 

“Yn?”

I see Sunghoon. He called me. But next to him isn’t what I want to see. Yujin is still there. 

I stand in the middle of the hallway, I see my old friends, Sunghoon’s friends, and a bunch of random people. 

“Yn, you gonna finally own up?” Yujin asks with a small smirk on her face. That smirk. It makes me annoyed. 

Why should I let her win? But… would anyone believe me?

I look around again, but then I see Niki.

He gives me a look… almost telling me to do something. 

Yujin now stands in front of me. I guess she tries to intimidate me. 

I know what I'm about to do is wrong, but I don't care anymore. Even if I try, nothing will help me get everyone's trust back. It happened back at SM uni, it’ll happen again here.

So I do it, I defend myself for the first time. 

I can only imagine the look on Belle's face, she’ll buy me some food in congratulating me. Jaehyun will lecture me, but still be proud. Ricky, he’ll definitely hype me up.

I can already see Niki’s face, he’s smiling. My mom will be slightly proud, but definitely mad. But that's ok. 

I finally see Sunghoon’s face, he's shocked. 

But I don't care. I don’t care anymore.

That’s why I continuously punch Yujin until someone pulls me off. And the rest of the next couple of hours were a blur.

previous | master list | next

SIDE NOTE please lmk if there’s any warnings I missed out in my master list, i don’t want to miss any 😅 also for some reason I can’t reply to comments?? But thank you to everyone who comments, reblogs, likes or even just reads, I really appreciate it ☺️

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for how my previous 'situationship' ended? (I genuinely do not know what to call this situation so that's gonna have to do).

Okay so I (20F) met a guy that we will call Chris (21M) on tinder in Oct 2022. We were at the same uni, and we had good rapport over text, so we decided to meet up. He was pretty awkward but once we actually got talking he was a good chat. Nothing romantic or sexual was discussed/acted upon.

We hung out a few times after that. I kissed him once after a night out, which he didn't reciprocate or ever mention again. Given the complete lack of romance/sexuality coming from him, and the fact that he is a very socially awkward person, I took the hint that he wasn't interested and didn't know how to tell me. I felt that i made the fact I was interested clear and he hadn't taken me up on it, so I just dropped the subject. We continued talking as friends, and I genuinely thought that's all it was.

Come Feb 2023, I went on a night out with a different group of friends, during which a friend of mine, we'll call Tom, kissed me. I nearly had a one night stand with Tom, but I ended up not sleeping with him and just going home because I was too drunk. Being drunk and cringe, I made a pretty crude post to my tumblr before I passed out which was something like "someone is actually attracted to me? Nail me to a wall!" (Long deleted because drunk me is an embarrassment lol).

I woke up to texts from Chris, who had seen my tumblr post and was upset. I was pretty confused because 1. He doesn't even use tumblr, 2. I don't remember ever giving him my account name but it must have been in a screenshot at some point, and 3. I was not under the impression that we were dating... I let all that slide like an idiot because I was really hungover. Chris and I then had a chill discussion about what we were, and agreed to be friends. Cool! I thought that was the end of the drama. We chatted and hung out afterwards with 0 difference to how it had been before.

Cut to May, and I sent him good luck wishes before an exam. He says thanks and I just didn't think about it again, normal exchange.

Over three weeks after I'd wished him good luck, I woke up to a wall of text he'd sent me at 3am where he went into detail about how i had strung him along and wasted his time; that he thought I was manipulative and playing "mind games" with him for that good luck text, which he took as me trying to psyche him out before the exam and make him fail the module; that he didn't want to 'just be friends anymore' because the knowlege that i strung him along hurt too much; that I "ignored him as he walked past" (I still have no idea where or when this happened, I straight up did not see him wherever it was). He also went into detail about physical and mental health issues he'd been going through (that I wasn't aware of before the wall of text) saying that I'd been a great help with them during first term, then "ruined his second term". He went off that my lack of communication skills is a detriment to everyone around me.

I was completely blindsided by all of that, and honestly really hurt that he'd accuse me of trying to make him fail his exams, but I'm not sure that he's not got a point? Looking back, yeah maybe I should have straight up asked him if he was interested back in Nov. But idk I'd say kissing someone is a pretty fucking clear communication that i was interested, and he made 0 reaction to it, what was i supposed to think? I'm not in the habit of pushing people when they do nothing in the way of reciprocation. But, one of the issues he disclosed to me was that he had gotten an autism diagnosis in April and I can see how not being 100% clear and verbal in my communication may have been the root of the issues here, given that he was undiagnosed autistic for most of the time I knew him.

Anyway, was my lack of communication an asshole move?

What are these acronyms?

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 25

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"You know, instead of just laying there looking pretty, you could help me with all these clothes."

"Being this pretty is a really hard job, Val. And if I helped you, you would definitely end up telling me that I'm doing everything wrong and doing it all by yourself" Pedri shrugs.

"Idiot."

"Hey! I am injured, remember? There is no need to be violent. Poor Minnie" he says, cuddling the stuffed toy I've thrown at him.

"Yes, you are injured in the head."

"Love you too, Val" he says with a stupid smile. "Why do you still have these around your room, tho? Aren't they for kids?" he smirks.

"I work with kids and I'm dating one. I need them to understand you better" I reply, sticking out my tongue.

"This Minnie has seen better days. How old is she?"

"My aunt bought it for me when I was born."

"Really? She looks like… 50. And you know you aren't older than 25."

"You are such an idiot" I say, rolling my eyes. "If Minnie looks old that's because she never left my side. I slept with her, played with her…"

"Attacked people with her…"

"She was my favourite toy as a kid and has great sentimental value."

"Val, hey. Are you ok?" Pedri says, getting up from the bed. "What is it?"

"Nothing" I say, looking away.

"Then why are you crying? Val" he says, cupping my face and making me look at him. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I just… Talking about Minnie reminded me of my aunt, the one who got her for me as a baby. She… She passed away a few years ago."

"And here I was making stupid jokes. I'm so sorry, Val. You aren't wrong when you call me an idiot."

"You didn't know" I shrug. "And they aren't sad tears. At least not all of them. You've also reminded me of good times, like when she would play with me and mimic Minnie's voice. She was really good at it."

"Was she?"

"Yeah. Or that's the memory I have" I smile. "She was Marina's age when I was born, so she saw me as a little sister more than as a niece. She got me that Minnie because she always wanted to go to Disneyland Paris but never could because her siblings told her they were too old for it, and with me she had an excuse to do it."

"Did you go?" Pedri asks, wiping away one of my tears.

"No, we didn't manage to. When I was old enough to understand what was going on she was at uni and then she moved abroad. She would only come back for Christmas and the summer holidays, which aren't the best moments to go to a place like Disney. Then I got busy with my own life, she got sick, and… well" I shrug.

"Do you still want to go?"

"I would love to, but no one wants to go with me. Marc said it was just for kids" I scoff.

"Well, lucky you, you are dating a kid who has never been to Disneyland."

"Really?" 

"We didn't have the money when I was younger. And now that I have it, no one cares anymore" Pedri shrugs.

"But a place like Disney… People may recognise you."

"I'll wear a wig if necessary. Anything to make you smile again" he says, caressing my cheek.

"You seriously are the cutest human being I've ever met."

"I know" he smirks. "And because I am the cutest, I'm gonna stop distracting you with my beauty and go make us a snack."

"Thank you, Pedri."

"What for? The snack? Being pretty?"

"Idiot" I say, hitting his arm. "Just thank you."

"You're welcome, Val" he says, kissing my forehead and leaving my room while I just stare at him smiling like... an idiot. Turns out that I also am one. One madly in love.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

When do the kids go on holidays?

Why?

Just answer me, Val 🙄

Friday

Until?

We have the next week off

Perfect then

Perfect for what?

Going somewhere just you and I ☺️

What? And the international break?

I'm not going. 

They called me today and said they don't want to risk it because of my injury. 

I'm sorry 

It's just some friendlies, don't worry

But now I am free to take my girlfriend on holidays ☺️

Tenerife?

Cold

Are we going somewhere cold or I got it completely wrong?

Both

You aren't helping, Pedro 🙄

🇫🇷🗼🐁🎡🎢🎠🐁

The mouse isn't because of Ratatouille 😉

Wait… wait wait wait WAIT DISNEYLAND?

Are you in?

OF COURSE I AM IN!!!!!!

Did you scream? Are you jumping?

Yes and yes 😂

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I am finally here. Can you believe it?"

"What I can't believe is your face right now" Pedri chuckles, closing the door of our hotel room behind him.

"What?"

"I think I have never seen you smile like that, Val. I love it."

"And I love you" I say, walking towards him and wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you very much. Thank you for this."

"Anything for you" he smiles.

"But you know… I think I should show you how much I love you and how thankful I am."

"What?"

"Yeah…" I say as I slowly move my hands from his neck to his chest.

"Val…" 

"Yes?" 

"What are you doing?" Pedri asks, his body tensing under my touch.

"Showing you how thankful I am" I reply with a teasing smile, my hands now moving under his clothes.

"Aren't you tired after all that traveling?"

"Nope. Are you?"

"A bit."

"Then let me do all the work. Arms up."

"What?" he laughs.

"I can't show you how thankful I am and how much I love you with all these clothes on. So arms up."

"Yes, ma'am" he chuckles.

"Good boy" I smile, getting rid of his sweatshirt and t-shirt all in one go. "Now shoes off, I'll take care of this" I say, untying his joggers.

"Done."

"Lay down on the bed."

"Ok" Pedri smirks while doing as I've told him. "You should be this bossy more often, Val. I like it. Now what?"

"Now get yourself comfortable and enjoy" I say before starting to take off my clothes.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I can't believe we just had sex on a Mickey Mouse bed" Pedri laughs.

"You chose the room, I didn't."

"I did" he laughs again. "It was really good sex, by the way. Some of the best we've had. You definitely showed me how much you love me."

"Glad to hear that."

"And you need to be in charge more often, Val. That was so hot."

"Yeah, umm… Should we order some room service or go out? I'm starving" I say, trying to change the topic of conversation and ignore the way my face is burning. I still don't know where everything I just did to him came from.

"Of course you are" he chuckles. "I could do with some fresh air, to be honest."

"Oh, great! We can wear the hats I got us."

"You what?"

"Yeah, look" I say, leaving the bed and opening my suitcase. "I got a cap with Mickey ears for you and one with Minnie ears for me. We can match, and this way you will be able to hide your face a bit better. Though you won't be able to put on your hood with the ears. I think."

"It's ok, don't worry. But are we a matching couple now? That's very cheesy, Val" Pedri says with a teasing smile.

"We are in Disneyland for the first time. We are gonna be cheesy and proper tourists."

"Ok" he laughs. "Should we try on the caps? Maybe take a picture? I want to remember this moment."

"Just be careful with the angle."

"I'm a pro, Val. There won't be any nipples involved."

"It better not" I warn him, getting in bed next to him. "Let me… there" I say, putting the cap on his head.

"How do I look?"

"Gorgeous."

"Liar. I always look gorgeous" he smirks.

"I beg to differ" I say, putting on mine. "Now let's take that photo so we can go grab something to eat."

"I think I don't like bossy Val anymore."

"What?" I laugh.

"If she isn't going to ride me until I forget my name, I don't like her."

"Shut up and take that photo, Pedro.”

"Yeah… I don't like her. And I'm taking the photo, relax. Don't need to look at me as if you were going to rip off my head."

"I'm too hungry for that."

"Lucky me" he laughs. "Say Disney!" 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Pedri, we are gonna be late for breakfast!"

"Just a minute!" he says from the bathroom.

"If when we go downstairs they've run out of everything I like, I'm murdering you. What are you doing?"

"These eyebrows don't look this perfect on their own, Valeria" he says while pointing at them and finally joining me in the room. "There is work behind them."

"All the work I don't put on mine" I chuckle. "Anyway, are you ready?"

"One last thing."

"Pedri!" I groan.

"We can't leave without her."

"Her? Who?"

"Her" he smiles, showing me what he was hiding in his suitcase.

"Is that… Is that my Minnie?"

"Her twin sister. If you had come with your aunt you would have brought her with you, right?"

"I would have, yes."

"Well, I thought that we should do the same. But then I worried you may lose her or get her dirty, and if anything happened to her you would be gutted and I could not bear seeing you like that. So I bought you another Minnie for you to carry around the same way you would have done as a kid, but without having to worry about what happens to her. Though if she survives, it would be a cute memory."

"No."

"What?" Pedri says with a confused look.

"It would not be a cute memory. It would be one of the best memories of my life. And you are the one who is cute. The cutest human being ever" I say before throwing myself at him and hugging him while crying like a baby.

"Aww, Val" he says while hugging me back, one of his hands moving up and down my back, trying to comfort me. But that gesture only makes me cry harder. Why is he so cute?

"I love you, Pedri" I manage to say.

"I love you too" he replies.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"That was the best thing ever! So so so good! I kind of want to do it again."

"What?" Pedri says, looking at me as if I've grown another head.

"I was joking, don't worry" I laugh. "But it was so good! Much better than what I had seen online and… Pedri. Pedri, hey. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"You are so pale… Let's sit down" I say, grabbing his arm and walking him towards a bench.

"Yes, let's sit down while my stomach goes back to its usual place."

"Pedri, you should have told me you were scared of the Tower of Terror before we went in. Look at you, you are so white you could pass for a Real Madrid shirt."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Valeria" he says, giving me a murderous look. "And if I didn't say anything it was because I didn't know I was scared of it. I thought it would be one of those houses where people show up out of nowhere and scare you, not one where you are dropped into the void."

"Sorry" I say, moving my hand up and down his arm, trying to comfort him like he had done for me a few hours ago. "There actually is a place like that, we can go later."

"I'll think about it."

"Ok" I chuckle. "But I guess this means we aren't checking the Star Wars ride."

"Do they drop you somewhere?"

"It is a rollercoaster."

"I'll think about that too" Pedri says, closing his eyes and leaning back on the bench.

"Is your stomach still on your throat?" 

"I don't know where it is anymore, Val. I don't know if I have a stomach anymore, to be honest."

"Aww, Pedri. Will a cuddle make you feel better?"

"We can try" he says, trying really hard not to smile.

"Look at you. Even while dying you still are a cheeky little thing" I giggle.

"Always, my dear" he replies. "Always."

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 4 Episode 7 - The Secret Sharer

Before I start, let me just say and I have done my uni exam and that's why I haven't been posting these even though I really wanted to. Not joking, I had to let my fingers rest 'cause I wrote all my notes and shit. It was a lot. Anyways, let's fucking do this.

LET'S GO INTRO!!!! YOUNG MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOH

EWWWWW WHY IS AGRAVAINE TOUCHING MORGANA LIKE THAT I'M GONNA PUKE BRO

Damn, Morgana's eyes are so GREEN, that makeup really does it for her. Kinda funny she's wearing it to bed though. Girl.

GOOD LORD MAMA, HELLO

Agravaine needs to chill the fuck out. Every time he's on screen he gives me the ick. Ugh. Also Morgana looked so damn paranoid talking about Emrys. "He knows everything. All our plans, all our secrets." Girl.... RIP Morgana you would've loved therapy (or not).

Ohhh... interesting Morgana's reaction to Agravaine's accusation of Gaius, saying that he's the ones working with Emrys. She almost looks... hurt? Like. She really doesn't want to face the reality that Gaius exists, in the sense that she's just so hurt by everything these people that "loved" her have done. She just feels so betrayed by everyone, so hurt, so ANGRY. It's so tragic.

Oh my GOD. I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP MANIPULATING MORGANA!!! I'M SICK OF IT!!!! The way she hesitates!!! When she knows that it means that they're going to use Gaius or maybe even kill him!!! The way that she moves away from Agravaine, processing this, the way he INTERRUPTS THIS and insists, again, that it has to be Gaius, they have to do something. And for a second she almost looks so fucking scared, like!!

LOOK AT HER!!! ANOTHER PERSON THAT'S BETRAYED HER!!! SHE'S SO HURT AND SCARED!!! OH GOD HER AND ARTHUR ARE SO SIMILAR.

She even blinks her eyes after that line from Agravaine, like blinking away tears, her eyes are so shiny bro, I'm gonna cry :((. And after blinking she turns all smirky and "evil" and shit. Jesus Christ. I could write a whole thesis about Morgana and her character progression holy shit.

LET'S GO MUSICCCCCCC

AHHHHHH the iconic breakfast in bed scene!!! Yay!!!

I don't blame Arthur for spitting that out, shit looked dry as FUCK. Also there's a bunch of crumbs on the bed, Merlin, YOU'LL have to clean that up!!! Don't give yourself more work!!

"I don't know anything about Polishing." We really need more appreciation about how Bradley delivers his lines, this one is just too funny, only hearing it, bro. Also. Merlin writes Arthur's speeches. One of the best pieces of canon in my opinion. It's just so comical, for some reason. And they must be good too, 'cause no one's questioning them. It's just such a subtle way to show that Merlin IS smart. Sometimes. A little bit.

Merlin, babe, you cannot be serious. You writing the new bible or something, what the fuck is this.

"You don't have hours." Most threatening and terrifying Merlin's ever sounded. Arthur's better than me, I would've have an anxiety attack so bad it'd send me straight to hell.

THIS INTRO IS EVERYTHING!!! WHY ARE THEY SAYING THINGS SO PERFECTLY SILLY!! I LOVE IT!!! Also, damn, Arthur's BUSY. I guess we do forget that kings had to, y'know. Do basically everything, like be a judge sometimes. Hello??

Ah yes, what I've been waiting for: the wrestling Arthur out of the bed scene. Love it. No notes, really.

"You're doing very well, Arthur." WHAT IF I CRY???

"I don't think so."???? ARTHUR WHAT IF I SMACK SOME SENSE INTO YOU, SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE DOING PRETTY GREAT IN MY OPINION, LISTEN TO YOUR MANSERVANT FOR ONCE.

A tiny bit of appreciation for Arthur's chest hair.

Thank you.

Love that Agravaine just. Ignores that it's Merlin writing Arthur's shit. He must have gotten such a shock right at the start and now nothing's surprising anymore.

The fact that Morgana, all in black, has a white horse is so fucking cool to me. Work that shit, queen.

OK GORGEOUS?????

Hate the way Agravaine speaks. Shut the FUCK UP.

Arthur. Arthur, honey. Yeah, you've got to stop being so easy to manipulate. I know it's hard, but your uncle is so fucking obvious doing it, please, please, just. Please. Holy shit.

Morgana's dress (cloak?? hood?? idk) is so pretty.

Morgana being the last of her kind, High Priestess of the Triple Goddess. Merlin being the last Dragonlord. Something something...

Also. Some obvious orientalism is this episode. Kinda icky, but unsurprising giving it's BBC and also like. 2011 or whatever. But still. Ugh.

Welp. Welp, welp. Can't really say much about that, can I??

I can't remember, but I'm assuming that bracelet she gives to the Catha is from Morgause, simply by the look of pain in her face when it's out of her grasp. Literally, when will my wife's suffering end?

I wonder just how many different kinds of magic beings and users there are in JUST the five kingdoms. What about the rest of the world?? Like. that's just so cool!! I love world building, maybe one day I'll waste away some days just building up lore and lore, probably some made up, but mostly from all cultures and countries. That would be cool as fuck actually.

Agravaine's smile is so FAKE, FUCK OFFFFFFF

Ew, why does he just touch everybody. Weird uncle vibes, for sure.

Oh, I just don't like how Arthur's so quiet. I bet Agravaine's just gotten in his head so bad. He already looks ready to cry, like Gaius has already betrayed him. He's so used to that, what's one more?

Jesus, this hurts to watch. The fact that Gaius knows exactly what's happening, and he's trying to be as truthful as he can but Agravaine's just. making it all worse and horrible. This is so bad.

Ok, Gaius, I know you're better at lying than this. Fucking damnit.

EW. Agravaine's little smirk?? What the fuck is wrong with him? Jesus, I feel so sick watching this, knowing that he's just basically sentenced Gaius as a liar!! Fuck!!!

Well, at least Arthur noticed that Agravaine was being a fucking bitch. Not all is lost.

"... we might find some (proof)." Oh, ok, so you're just admitting that you're going to fabricated evidence against Gaius? Oh ok.

JESUS THESE MAN'S TITTIES ARE JIGGLING GOOD LORD

OH MY GOD, NOT THE PECS FLEXING??? I'm assuming normally you don't see that when you're on a horse adjusting yourself 'cause you got clothes on but this guy DOESN'T and you can SEE EVERYTHING.

The way that Merlin opens the door is so funny. He is NOT amused to be called upon by Agravaine. Mood.

Why is Agravaine's smile literally so disgusting, I cannot.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WHY DOES HE SMILE SO MUCH???? VERY MUCH WEIRD UNCLE VIBES. VERY MUCH "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YOUR UNCLE'S COMING." VIBES. EW. EW EW EWWWW

Love seeing Agravaine getting humbled, thank you big titty man.

Really? Really??? A book boldly proclaiming that it's about magic and sorcery, kinda hidden by one (1) sheet of paper as your proof? Really??? Are you for real right now?? Fuck off.

It is actually so upsetting seeing Agravaine in Merlin and Gaius's space. Like that's not for you, disgusting bitch.

Not Merlin finishing polishing the dagger and setting it on Arthur's nightstand JUST as the warning bells start to sound. Lol. Lmao even.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE DESTROYING GAIUS' SHIT??? WHAT THE FUCK

No no no. I hate this. The fact that Merlin now get's why Agravaine made him polish that dagger. He's fucking blaming himself right away, oh I can't do this.

Merlin literally looks like a baby in this shot, holy shit. My baby :(((.

Agravaine's acting (not the actor's, is the actor acting the character acting!! which is so fucking cool) is so fucking annoying. It's so obvious, dammit, Arthur, you're a king, how can you not see it!!! I know he's family, but you barely know him!!! I know he's from your mother's side and you want THAT side to be good unlike your father's side that's brought you so much pain, I know, but come ON!!!

Oh, Merlin's so mad, not at Arthur, at Agravaine and himself, but he's so hurt, so scared, so pained that it comes across as quietly, restrained angry, and it's fucking heart breaking.

Oh god. This is one of their most painful fights in my opinion. I think they get so fucking heart breaking when it's Merlin just. trying to show his side, trying to get Arthur to understand but Arthur just cannot because he's been given a certain information that WOULD make his actions sensible, but WE know they're lies!!! We do, Merlin does, but he can't just say that 'cause it might reveal HIS lie, and it's just UGH!!!!!!!!!! FUCK

MERLIN IS FUCKING TEARING UP I CAN'T. "He would not leave without saying goodbye to me." I AM GOING TO PUKE.

The way Merlin turns away when he's close to crying, ohhhhh. Oh BBC Merlin writers when I catch you. Colin Morgan when I catch you.

"I don't wanna lose another friend." I think these are the moments that really make me wanna chortle Arthur. I truly feel like he cannot understand the depth of the power that he has compared to Merlin. 'Cause what does that threat mean? Just them stop being friends but Merlin's still employed? Arthur sacking Merlin? Arthur treating Merlin how he's treating Gaius right now? Because, truthfully, with the power that Arthur has, any of these options is viable. I think this is what scares me, Arthur just cannot comprehend that he just cannot threaten his friends, his loved ones, like this just because he's king now. He simply cannot. The weight of it is different. Even if he would never hurt them, it doesn't matter, he has the POWER to. That's what's so scary. And then he wonders why Merlin doesn't tell him things. How can he?

The way things just. Change between the early seasons and now. The way Gaius talks to Morgana, knowing she wants to kill him, when he saw her grow up. I'm gonna be so fucking sick, y'all, what the fuck.

Does she braid some of her hair with leaves?? Or a green ribbon? What is that in her hair??

Not gonna lie, Morgana is so hot in this scene. Jesus. Love that voice, and that's all I'm gonna say.

HE LOOKS SO BABY!!!!!!!!!!1

I love that Gwen doesn't even question that Agravaine's behind it. She's like "I'll use my charms to get Arthur to see reason, don't worry bestie."

ICONICCCC GAIUS USING MAGIC!!!!!!!!

Oh, I love when Merlin doesn't even use words. Just golden eyes and BOOM. Magic.

MERLIN FOR FUCK'S SAKE BRO YOU CAN'T EVEN SNEAK OUT CORRECTLY WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!! That's so fucking funny though, I'm losing it-

GWAINE!!!! MY BABY!!! You look like a puppy :,).

Oop. Cock blocked.

Merlin is just in a fucking mood and honestly he deserves to be. But it is interesting how differently he acted with Gwaine and Gwen. I wonder if he's being shorter with Gwaine 'cause he's a knight now, and he knows that knights talk and are closer to the king's views than the servants. Classic class division and such, even if Gwaine is not like other knights. He just cannot be sure now. Also 'cause he almost got found out my Agravaine which does not good for your nerves I bet.

WOW. Gwaine, baby, STAND UP. Get some self-respect. Good god. At Merlin's back and call, it's really ridiculous bro.

Immediately on a secret mission, love these boys.

Not Agravaine seeing his plans fall apart, GET REKT LOSER.

I wonder if Morgana's a good cook. I think she isn't actually. Just never gets recipes right. Burns things, undercooks others.

Oh, poor Gaius... he really tried to fight it but...

It's really fun watching the series and recognizing common clips used in edits.

The way Gaius speaks about Merlin with such wonder and pride... crying rn.

LMAO NOT MERLIN JUST COMPLETELY TRIPPING BOTH OF THE GUY'S FEET. ALSO THE WAY THE CATH TURNED??? HELLO??? HE LOOKED LIKE A SQUIRREL.

"We should split up." "Yeah." two dumb bitches saying "exactlyyyy"

"If you find him, don't wait for me." Gwaine IMMEDIATELY disagreed with that, Merlin dearest, he's not gonna let that happen.

Oh my god, Morgana hasn't met Gwaine yet. All she knows, from Agravaine, is that he's a "hothead". Lmao. lol even.

I love how Agravaine, literal dagger to Gaius' neck, is disagreeing with Gwaine's very keen observation, that he's the kidnapper and traitor. Girl, shut the fuck up.

Gwaine is so handsome. Also, yes, not completely stupid because, if Agravaine didn't kidnap Gaius, how did he know where he was, hm?? Bitchass.

Jesus. Credit when credit's due, he can be a good liar. Also, I feel like Gwaine's acting like he believes Agravaine's innocent, mainly because he can sense something fishy about him. His question, "So you agree he was abducted then?" is so SMART. 'Cause what else can Agravaine do but agree and declare Gaius an innocent man? Yeah that's fucking right, bitch.

Morgana is literally so hot and tragic when evil, good lord.

UGH, Morgana using magic without words, YES!!! Love her being powerful.

Face card never declines for either one of them, good god. Y'know what, more and more I understand Mergana. Just. Look at them!!!

OH THE WAY MERLIN KNOWS THAT ALATOR KNOWS HE'S EMRYS. OH MY GOD?????

Oh jesus, the way Morgana's just RELIEVED to finally know who Emrys is, she's so scared of him she just doesn't want to be scared anymore. Her voice is so soft here :(.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE YEETED THE FUCK OUT OF MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK, WOAH!!!!!!!!1

Oh wow that scene just gave me chills, holy shit holy shit. The way Alator just kneels and allies himself to Merlin. Jesus Christ, that's my drug bro.

Gwaine and Arthur interacting. Gwaine being so soft about Gaius, so worried :(. Arthur too :(((.

I really do love how royals just think the servants can't fucking hear. Gwen is right there as they speak very sensitive matters. Like bitch?? They have ears I promise??

The way Gaius and Merlin communicate their fears and anxieties :((( I'm so emotional bro.

"My worry is Arthur." and THOSE are your loyalties, while Alator and other's loyalties are to YOU, Merlin, 'cause you're supposed to bring forth Albion, but you're too busy having a fucking CRUSH TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the way Arthur walks into the room and Merlin cannot even BEAR to look at him. He's HURT. As is his right.

The way Merlin immediately lightens the mood, 'cause he wants things to be easy as possible, even if it gets hurts swept under the rug like this. UGH. AGHHHHHHHHH.

Boys. Stop eye fucking. You're supposed to at least be a little mad at him, Merlin, you kinda deserve that, y'know.

Love that Arthur believes without a doubt that Gaius withstood torture for him and Camelot and won. Like. He truly sees Gaius as this strong figure. Just always there since he was born, bro. Even before, while he was being made!! That's bonkers.

I love how Arthur understood Gaius' lied even though Agravaine talks in the "evil manipulative guy" voice all the time. Fuck off bro, I swear.

The Gaius is trying to teach Arthur to understand the complexities of magic, that it's all evil or all good, it's all different. I love this scene so much.

Pretty boy.

And that is it!!! God, what an episode!! I feel like this episode is a good starting point for a show rewrite, in which Arthur gets more and more curious about magic and tries to understand, and maybe we'd get a magic reveal and shit like. I like that a lot.

[tellars]

life update:

1. I've been really enjoying the new life series, wild life, and i think I'm falling back into this fandom : ) i'm currently watching double life from Jimmy's POV and I'm planning to watch secret life soon since i kind of skipped it for different reasons. it's been therapeutic and calming to me to watch all of these videos and i think i should probably watch hermitcraft...

2. last week i decided that I'm taking a proper vacation from art and posting. I had a bad relationship with social media for years and this month it finally boiled over. it's quite difficult to be an artist in an oversaturated market, trying to manage your socials, create stuff and do it consistently. i decided that it's not for me as of right now and this vacation I'm taking time to sleep well and do stuff I wanted to do for a long time. currently I'm sewing a plushie for myself, watching the POV's of life series I haven't watched yet, reading, writing and playing videogames. most importantly, I'm trying my best not to be in my past mindset of "I need to do Things" and it's so nice to finally breathe out. I took up writing again, but I'm doing it at my own leisure, so it's just nice to write and write without deadlines. usually I used to write things in one sitting or at least try to finish them in a couple of days, but here I'm just putting a couple of sentences each day, leaving it be and then coming back when I feel like it. no one's rushing me, and I'm not gonna rush myself anymore. I know that this should be an obvious thing that you shouldn't work yourself until you burn out, but it's always been difficult for me to differentiate when I'm nearing this state of burnout. so I'm just resting now. this week too.

3. I've started learning GDScript for Godot! like, right before my "vacation". i had dabbled in programming in the past, but didn't quite understand a lot of it. i was (and still am) worried that at some point GDScript will be something I'm not able to understand, but so far it didn't happen. I'm learning the very basics for now (like, what are variables and constants) so I hope the detailed explanations will help me along the way.

4. since I'm on vacation(tm) I will be inactive this week and maybe next week too. I don't know how long I want this rest to be, but it's a long needed one. when I'm back I will certainly let you all know, and I will be back with a lot of new stuff : ) and energy, yeah. even though I don't have a large audience here (nor anywhere else) I still wanted to explain my past and future absence. you know, to remind you that I'm alive and I'm still here haha.

well, i guess that's it for now. last thing i wanted to show you is my monochrome syndrome tattoo that i got back in 2021. back then i said that i got it because i was finally committing to MS, but at the time i physically couldn't - I was still studying and uni was not easy for me. through years the tattoo kind of just was there, I've gotten really used to it as if it was part of my skin since forever. however, recently when looking at it I thought "this is the reason I should go on. to finish what I started". MS was there for me for almost half of my life and I think making this story a reality is truly one of the reasons I live for. just decided to share this here. hope you're having a good day/evening, take care < 3

[bonesandthebees]

Hi bee! hope you're doing well <3

I was on a long plane trip yesterday and forgot to pack a book so i ended up rereading the stars and their children because i had it downloaded on my phone.

while i was rereading it, i felt so immersed and it was almost like i was transported back to an earlier time, to when i was first reading the fic and i would get so excited seeing a post on this blog about a new chapter coming soon. your character work and writing is just so amazing, and i'm glad i got a chance to experience that again. i think stars- its world, its characters, their dynamics- is forever going to be one of my favorite works of writing

anyways, there wasn't much of a point to the post, i just wanted to share that :) i haven't been in tune with the mcyt community for a while now but i still have really fond memories of how it got me through lockdown and how it was my first big connection with an online community, and your fics were a big part of that, so thank you!

i think i'm gonna go revisit and reread some of your other works as well now because like i said, i just really like your style of writing and how intricately you develop your characters <3 i am sure the fics will be awesome!

Have a nice day!! don't forget to put on sunscreen if you live somewhere sunny :)

aaaaa this means so much to hear! seriously it's so sweet that even after not being in the community anymore you still get so immersed in the story. I'm still so proud of what I was able to do with stars. for what it was, I did a really good job telling that story and I still don't know how I managed it while finishing my senior year of uni lol

I'm so happy that my fics made that kind of an impact on your memories in the community :) for as hectic as it was at some points, being part of the mcyt community at its heyday was truly special and I'm so glad I was able to experience that and give so many people good stories to look back on

hope you enjoy the rereads!! I've actually been rereading a lot of my own fics lately too and it's been very nice. especially when I haven't looked at the fic in ages and I've forgotten a lot of the details I threw in. it's almost like experiencing it as a reader instead of the author haha

hope you have a good day!! <3

[sunsetsmakemesad]

Chapter 149

I'm craving grilled meat now

Hmm romantic moon scene

Kanaaaaa :((((((

"You guys still love each other, right?" no they don't Kana she's just keeping him from committing murder

Not Kana acting like she's fine even though it's so obvious she is not. Relatable.

KANA NOO YOU'RE GREAT YOU'RE AWESOME I LOVE YOU DON'T SAY THAT

Also are these two gonna consider that Aqua really isn't in the best mental headspace to be dating people lolll

:(

Akane is right though, they don't have that sort of relationship anymore, but I suppose Kana's low self-esteem is speaking here

Like a mother to her child AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

she just wants him to find a good uni and get a good job😞

No he doesn't he's a dense rock who has Kamiki on his mind 24/7

I think you two should drop Aqua and get some ice cream together and paint each others' nails

Kana :((((

Akane is making some good points, seriously though.

Kana is always acting like she's 30, even though she's barely 19 (or 18??? I hate onk timeline)

The moment she grew out of being a cute kid, people stopped paying attention to her and turned their backs on her. She took it as sign that she's not a child anymore, I'm assuming she did this even in middle school. It makes me sad for her

Akane's right, Kana, grow some balls

Aaaaaaand they're back home

She's so pretty I wish she understood how amazing she is

Akane is at her doorstep. Huh

Why are Akanebros insulting Kana can't they see she's a Kanabro herself

"Why would you do that?" she already said she wants him to get into a good university and get a good job. Add a good girlfriend to the list

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA SHE WASN'T LYING WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS LIKE A MOM

that's kinda creepy tho

"Stop looking at me with those eyes!" "what eyes? ⚫u⚫"

Wait don't tell me she's making him get a girlfriend to stop him from revenge. She REALLY doesn't want him to go down that path, does she.

Anyways that was chapter 149, the liveblogging was so fun, I love aka's little guys when they're not being incestous.

[knoxvillesjackass]

Hi! So I had an idea for a young johnny x fem reader smut after listening to the song "save that shit" by lil peep basically I imagined the reader and johnny are dating but his stunts are getting progressively more and more dangerous and she can't take it anymore and the last straw for her is when he does a stupid stunt (maybe like jumping off of something) and gets hurt again and they have a massive argument and she says she's going to leave him and at some point during the argument he says "Do I make you scared? Baby, won't you take me back?" Maybe she even says she wishes she had a "normal" boyfriend and johnny says "Im nothin' like them other motherfuckers, I can make you rich." And the argument leads to angry sex but then they make up and fluff in the end(?)

Sorry if this is all over the place or too complicated to do, I totally understand

I love your writing btw, especially your latest johnny fic!

Thanks :)

𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 - 𝐣.𝐤

i wrote this when i was sleep-deprived following a nervous breakdown because uni starts next week, so i'm sorry for how this turned out, but i hope it's somewhat readable?

warnings! degrading dirty talk, angry sex, choking, missionary, thigh riding!

words; 2.430

You couldn't even call this a stunt. No, this was merely shits and giggles, and you were having none of it.

"Jeff, please tell him to quit this shit, now."

Johnny wouldn't listen to you, you were sure of it, but maybe he'd listen to Tremaine, but who were you kidding? Tremaine was just as insane as everyone else in the crew.

You watched as Johnny climbed a fifty-foot crane with the intent of jumping from it, with nothing but a flimsy parachute to protect his fall.

You were repulsed by the stunt, but even more by how your boyfriend had neglected your feelings and put this stunt before anything- and anyone.

"Y/N, this is Johnny we're talking about. He's not gonna fucking listen to me," Jeff chuckled to which you rolled your eyes.

Johnny was an adrenaline junkie to the core, and you'd accepted that when you started dating him three years ago. What you hadn't been prepared for was the absolute hell, the man was willing to put himself through in order of getting good footage.

Countless arguments erupted because of that. You'd scold him for putting his life on the line and he'd ignore everything you'd say.

But what was about to happen was some next-level bullshit, and you'd just about had enough.

"Let's start with twenty feet!" Johnny yelled as he stopped climbing and looked down at the crowd gathered below him. Medics and the cast waited on the sideline, and you stood, nervously fidgeting next to Ryan Dunn.

"Whenever you're ready!" Tremaine yelled back and without as much as a warning, Johnny leapt from the crane and activated the smallest parachute, you'd ever seen in your life.

You turned your back just in time to miss the moment when Johnny hit the ground, thankfully. You could hear the thump though, and it made your heart beat so fast, to the point of feeling nauseous.

"Dunn?" You asked and Ryan looked at you, quickly wiping the worried expression from his face when he saw your panicked state.

You turned around slowly. Johnny had stood up. He was laughing with Steve-O and Bam as if nothing had ever happened.

This fucking guy, you thought and pursed your lips. This fucking guy just had a near-death experience and now he was laughing and joking around. You were repulsed but more than anything; you were fucking furious.

Johnny scanned the area around him and eventually, his sight landed on you. You were biting your cheek and shaking your head.

Johnny approached you, clearly aware of what you were feeling, but a glimpse in his eyes told you, that he really didn't give a shit.

"Starting with twenty feet? Are you fucking shitting me?" You hissed and pushed him away when Johnny tried to embrace you.

"I'm not fucking shitting you, and will you please keep your voice down? I don't wanna do this right now," Johnny sneered quietly and you yelped at his question. "No, I'd rather do it now, actually, considering you'll probably be dead within the next twenty minutes," you said and raised your voice to which Johnny shushed you loudly and looked around to ensure that you weren't attracting too much attention.

"Y/N, get in your car and leave," Johnny said, stepping closer to you and towering over your much shorter frame. You looked up at Johnny and stomped on the ground, a loud whine following.

"Now, Y/N."

You watched as his eyes darkened and decided that you actually didn't even want to stick around him and his shitshow any longer.

You shook your head and chuckled in dismay, turning your back to Johnny and leaving without looking back once.

It wasn't the fact, that Johnny did stunts or enjoyed high-speed activities. It was the fact that he couldn't seem to keep it together once he'd started. A simple idea would turn into a life-threatening stunt, and that was what you hated.

You drove home with such anger radiating through your veins, that you could hardly handle it.

He was gonna get himself killed one day, and you were going to be left with pain greater than what he'd ever experienced.

-

A couple hours had passed by, and with no Johnny home, or even a phone call, you were starting to get worried.

Lord knows how far they'd gone. Thirty feet, forty feet, maybe even fifty? The injuries a fall like that could cause. Urgh, you didn't even want to think about it.

You didn't have to, because the sound of the door opening and closing snapped you out of your wandering thoughts.

You'd spent the whole afternoon in a pissy mood, bitching over how Johnny had treated you like crap earlier that day. But you'd also spent the afternoon thinking ahead. How would a future with Johnny look? Was he going to be a punch-drunk husband with a brain like scrambled eggs? He'd suffered too many concussions to even count, and the number of broken bones? You didn't even want to think about it. Was that what you wanted?

You loved Johnny, but at that moment, he was the last person you wanted to see, and the sound of his voice from the corridor made you roll your eyes.

"Y/N, can you come to the kitchen?" He yelled and you sighed. You couldn't avoid him forever. After all, you did live together and it was probably better to just get it over with.

Entering the kitchen, you spotted Johnny, a spiteful chuckle leaving your mouth as your eyes landed on the horrific bruises on Johnny's bare upper body.

He'd taken a trip to the hospital after his parachute failed at forty feet in the air.

"How many ribs did you break this time?" You asked and Johnny sighed, "three."

Honestly, you'd thought it would be worse but then again; the man was fucking invincible, it seemed.

His shirt was off and his muscular upper body was on full display, although you tried your absolute best to not get distracted.

"I really didn't fucking appreciate the way you acted at my job today, Y/N," Johnny said and chugged a glass of water.

You huffed and laughed sarcastically. "Well, Johnny, I really didn't fucking appreciate how selfish you were today," you said and curled your fists into tight balls.

"Selfish? I'm not fucking selfish," Johnny said, completely oblivious to the insane way he'd acted earlier that day.

"Johnny, you could've died! And you know what, I've fucking had it up to here," you said and reached up your arm to signal how much you'd suffered through his ideas.

"It's my job, Y/N! Fuck!" Johnny yelled and threw his hands in the air.

"Baby, you live for this shit. You can't get enough of it, can you? I'd like to watch you go find another dude, that can tame you like I can," Johnny smirked and you huffed. Johnny tried to hide it but yelling really hurt with broken ribs, and he winced quietly.

"You can't even fucking talk to me without getting hurt! Gosh, sometimes I think it would be better if I just left," you chuckled under your breath but flinched when Johnny let out just about one of the loudest roars you'd ever heard from him. "What!"

"Is that really what you want to do? Leave?" He asked. He didn't seem hurt. If anything, he just seemed angry that you'd even say that.

"No, of course, it's not what I want! But it's what this is driving me towards," you admitted.

"You're real bold to be talking to me like that."

Johnny's voice was dark and quiet, but in no way was it soft. It was harsh and cold.

He took some steps closer to you, and you couldn't do anything but back off until you eventually hit the wall behind you.

Johnny was so close to you, that you could hear his heart beating. He moved his hand to your throat and you gasped at the sensation.

The hand around your throat didn't push or squeeze. You both just stood there and looked into each other's eyes. The tension was so thick, you could almost cut it with a knife.

"You're scared, aren't you?" He asked you and flashed you a wicked smile. "Do I scare you, babe?"

You scoffed and shook your head, clearly lying. You were intimidated by him. He was taller and much stronger than you. Johnny saw right through you and he tightened the grip around your throat, but only ever so slightly.

"You said you wanted a normal boyfriend, didn't you?" Johnny asked and you swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Do you still mean that?" Johnny asked you, and you hummed a sly yes.

He moved his hand from your throat and grabbed your face rather harshly. "Look around, love. Haven't I given you everything you've ever dreamed of? Haven't I given you everything any other guy never gave you?" Johnny asked and you nodded slowly.

"So, princess; what's the fucking problem?"

Urgh, the man was dangerously attractive. By now, you'd completely forgotten about the whole argument and its cause. Now, all you seemed to be doing was adding fuel to the fire, because you could tell exactly where this was heading and it made your stomach tingle.

"You make me so fucking mad sometimes," you hissed but yelped loudly when Johnny jerked his knee up between your legs so that your toes were barely touching the ground. Certainly, he could feel the dampness of your arousal on his clothes thigh and the thought of it made you blush slightly.

Johnny grabbed your arms and pinned them on either side of your head against the wall.

"Keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut until I tell you otherwise, okay, doll?" Johnny cut you off and you followed his order, immediately shutting up.

You didn’t mind as you leaned forward, driving your lips together with Johnny's, in a dazed and desperate attempt at dominance. An attempt that was quickly shut down by Johnny, as he tightened his grip on your wrists, moving his lips with yours in a fast, smouldering kiss. 

In a sudden act of rebellion, you bit down on Johnny's bottom lip and watched with fascination as he jerked back and lifted a hand to his mouth, checking for blood. 

"The fuck?" His eyes flashed. You narrowed yours in response.

"You're fucking in for it," Johnny growled before leaning in hard and fast again.

Your toes curled and Johnny moved his knee back and forth against your wet cunt. You arched your back, pressing your chest against Johnny's.

Johnny moved his mouth from your lips to your neck, sucking and biting.

Your panties were thoroughly soaked at this point, and you could feel yourself getting more eager by the second

Johnny moved his hands from your wrists, and immediately, you wrapped your arms around his body, pulling him as close as possible.

You ground against his thigh, feeling that familiar clench between your legs, and you whimpered. “K-Keep going.”

Johnny grabbed your hips - continuing to suck marks onto your neck and chest - and he moved you faster against his thigh, his cock throbbing in his pants. You thrust your fingers into his hair, pulling hard as the fluttering between your thighs turned into hard quakes.

Johnny suddenly bounced his leg a few times and it sent you over the edge, completely.

You threw your head against Johnny's shoulder and hid your face in the crook of his neck, letting out loud moans and whimpers of pleasure. Johnny kept his tight grip on your hips, helping you ride out your orgasm.

You only had a few moments to relax before Johnny lifted you up and began walking towards the living room, placing you on the couch, and hovering over you.

Only now did you realise how bad the bruises on his chest and side really were and you pouted softly, running your fingers over them, which caused Johnny to hiss quietly. You quickly retracted your fingers from his bruises and watched with excitement as Johnny dropped his trousers.

He climbed on the couch and rested over you, looking at you with lusty eyes, growling under his breath.

"Let's see how quiet you can be now," Johnny smirked and slid his hands up your thighs and pulled down your jeans, your lacy underwear following shortly.

You were already soaking wet and Johnny was hard. His tip was an angry red colour, desperate to be embraced.

He smirked as his cock painfully slowly disappeared into your tight cunt, cursing under his breath. His cock was spasming inside of you, your cunt clenching and sucking him in for all it's worth.

A particularly hard thrust made you a moaning mess, grasping and clasping at Johnny's back, probably leaving all kinds of marks.

"Look at you," Johnny smirked in a humiliating manner. "You got yourself into this mess," he said and you bit your lip harshly. "You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?" Johnny asked and you nodded, agreeing with him as a moan escaped from your lips.

Your second orgasm was around the corner, but you were overstimulated- and overwhelmed.

You tapped Johnny's shoulder three times, which was a sign for him to slow down. "Already tapping out, are you?" He asked as you squirmed underneath him, unable to control your body.

"I-I'm go-"

"Already?" Johnny chuckled. Okay, now he was really taking the piss.

You screamed loudly and let your eyes roll to the back of your head as your whole body flexed beneath Johnny as he delivered a final thrust before pulling out quickly and stroking himself, emptying his loud on your thighs.

His moans quieted down as he snapped back from his climax and looked at you. He grabbed your hips and lifted you up, taking the space where you were laying, so that you could lay on top of him.

You were both out of breath and a few silent moments went by before you got tired of the painful silence.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I don't want a normal boyfriend, I want you," you sighed against Johnny's chest and placed a kiss on it.

"I know. I'm sorry too, and you're right; I'm one selfish bastard," Johnny admitted and you looked up at him. "I'm not gonna stop the stunts, but for now, there'll be no forty feet cranes," he said and you smiled.

"I'm glad to hear it."

[jellyskrimp]

Hi skrimpus! You got one of the best blog names on the site in our opinion. Anyway we're 293 batteries plus a human and you seem like fun so we're sending an ask to introduce ourselves.

We do quite a bit of crafting (pretty sure we found you through the crochet tag actually) but we're kinda slow so we don't post about it super often. We used to draw a lot, but not really anymore cause we weren't very good at it. Looking to start up again when we're less busy though.

As for video games, we never had the sims but we enjoy similar video games. Our current game is stardew valley, but pokemon is our obsession and we're always down to discuss haha.

A bit more about us personally (but vague so we don't dox ourselves accidentially). We're 18+, and similar to your age. Also, we're uni students who live in the us of a, and we're gonna be pharmacists one day. We're relationshipless aces, but it's pretty cool y'all are already married. To find that person for you at a young age is pretty neat, and we hope things go well for you!

Anyway, glad to make your mutual! Feel free to dm or tag us on anything and hope you have a good day :)

hello, battery friends!

dudes i literally was so surprised when this blog name was available like i fr got lucky with it but thank you i'm proud of it lol

i haven't crocheted in a while, and i have joint problems so i totally understand going slow with it. i've been working on a granny square blanket (literally just one giant granny square) for almost a year now and it's not even that big. i just add a few rounds along the edges whenever i feel like it, but now that it's a decent size it takes me like an hour to do one round.

i don't think i'm that good at drawing either, but i've started doing it anyway. i draw bugs, ocean life, little gremlin creatures, anything that sparks joy. i do get discouraged when it's not turning out right, but i'm working on letting myself be bad at things. it's helping me feel less pressure in my day to day life and it's also helping me feel more of those random moments of joy. that one meme or whatever, i am cringe but i am free, yknow. i recommend it

do you have a fav pokémon? mine is bulbasaur. basic, i know, but i just love him. i have a stuffed one, his name is bubs. i also love cressalia!

thank you for the ask, it makes me really happy that people (and a whole bunch of batteries) are nice enough to say hi to me :) i hope y'all have a great day too!