#it's not like I'm really dedicating any time towards these I'm just doing stuff when i feel like it

[arvoze]

hi everyone i appreciate the support but i never said i was taking team suggestions on tumblr 😭 maybe in the future but i've got a lot to go through on twitter as is (i've only received a couple asks but i just want people to know that i won't be able to get to anything for a long long time)

[nouearth]

the boy next door.

pairing. alan ritchson x male reader headcanon.

summary. with his profile brewing in hollywood, projects are consistently lining up for alan, and the last thing he needs is a new roommate getting in the way of his stress. unless, reader finds himself becoming alan's personal stress-ball?

content warning. camboy!au, camboy!reader, top!alan, bottom!reader, food!play (cucumber as dildo), muscle worship, size difference, spitting, oral (r!giving on dildo), dirty talk, verbal, masturbation, alan and reader are roommates.

moving in.

roommate!alan who surprises you with his massive stature when he greets you on move-in day.

it was jaw-dropping. well, almost so. you were luckily aware enough to catch the slack of your jaw from relaxing any further. any second longer, and you would've been hypnotized into submission by the man's brawn physicality; massive chest, bulging arms, and thick fingers—traits you would find yourself drooling about.

"hey, uh... (m/n), right? is that how you say your last name?" "spot on! and... alan. man, your name already sounds like a celebrity, i'm jealous." "haha, hopefully the casting directors feel the same way."

roommate!alan who helps you with your luggages without a single request from your end.

aside from being eye-candy, alan utilized his muscles for the greater good and brought your belongings from the trunk of your car, to the front of your door in a matter of minutes. even when you pleaded him not to, he went on ahead while urging you to take a rest after the long drive across the city.

you complained, though half-heartedly because your ass was sore from driving all day. his massive arms were a distraction as the veins surged through every muscle of fiber like lightning.

"you really didn't need to do all of that—" "hey, you're saving me from shelling out an extra thousand by being my roommate. plus, you seem... normal? that's the least i could do." "normal? pft, i don't know about that. but i will say, your kind gestures have put you on my 'no-kill' list." "let's backpedal a bit. is it too late to kick you out?"

roommate!alan who has already taken a liking towards you in the few hours you two have spent together to unpack.

saying that people 'stared' at alan would be underplaying what they've actually done. it was a daily occurrence to catch people gawking at his stature. whether it was with astonishment, intimidation, lust, or hostility, all eyes were on him, collective eyes and gasps piecing together how a man could look the way he does. some whispered 'steroids', others envied his dedication.

as uncomfortable as it could be at times, he liked the attention knowing he'd be the subject of one's conversation to another friend.

with you, it was no different. he'd caught you several times staring at his arms from across the room. or maybe it was his shoulders? how they perfectly filled his shirt out from seam to seam? either way, you were enchanted, especially when he'd nonchalantly flex his muscles every now and then in hopes he'd catch your eye.

and he could say the same about himself when he'd catch you bent over, ass raised high while you dug inside of your boxes to unpack the remaining decor you had brought with you.

until that moment, he never noticed how much smaller you were compared to his, the top of your head barely meeting his chin if he was to line you up. how much of a desire had awakened to have you in his arms, just to see how you perfectly fit into his body.

getting to know each other.

roommate!alan who has already learned of your habits, likes and dislikes, and hobbies within a few weeks of you moving in.

it was the small stuff that you found yourself gushing over. you two almost always had dinner together on the couch. condiments on the side for you, ketchup over his fries for him.

whether it was homemade or takeout, the best memories being made between the two of you were simply eating in front of the tv and watching alan's roles despite his reluctance.

you would cheer whenever he appeared on the screen, the camera somehow making him seem smaller than he appeared to be in real life. it was impressive, and once again, you found yourself drawn to the sheer size of muscles beside you.

throbbing, even at the simplest touch, as he gave your shoulders squeeze amidst passing by you to collect your plate.

"have to head to bed early. got an audition in the morning." "awesome! was this the one you were telling me about earlier?""yep. i worked with the director once, so fingers crossed?"

roommate!alan who can read your body language early on, and senses that you're hiding something from him.

it was that one question that either turned you into stone, or a babbling buffoon as you would try to avoid the subject.

your occupation.

he didn't know much other than the fact that you worked from home, which was why your bedroom was so intricately set up like a tech start-up.

four different types of cameras, a gaming chair, several monitors for one pc; it was intricate and honestly, alan didn't really understand it.

"so, you don't have to say yes or no, but..." "hm..?""are you a youtuber? like, one of those tech guys who reviews new phones and stuff?""something like that, i guess?" "is it mentally draining?" "more so... physically?"

roommate!alan who asks about your day after coming home from a shoot.

you looked exhausted, drained, wrecked—images of you that he never thought would rile him up. yet, as you groggily came out of your room with flushed skin, and a thirst that needed to be quenched, alan was equally parched just watching you recover your breath in between gulps of water.

cluttered state of mind.

roommate!alan who merely offers you a look of annoyance when you greet him after he arrives home.

you've recognized that look by now, and all you could simply provide was his dinner plate, and a sympathetic pat on the back.

"listen, i know a friend and he has a mutual that can help you—" "not in the mood right now, (m/n).""just trying to help, alan."

roommate!alan who ends the night early, leaving you on the couch with his plate left untouched.

it was awkward, to simply put it. the show you put on happened to be the one he was auditioning for, and then ultimately flunked because he forgot his script. from the corner of your eye, you could see his jaw tightening, straining, fork scraping against the ceramic plate as he pushed the fried rice in a corner, and then eastward, because that corner was empty.

though, is it wrong to say that you found it hot? if only there was a less forward and awkward way of saying, 'hey, i'd love to take your mind off of things right now. let me suck you off.'

secret unlocked.

stressed!alan who spends half-an-hour in the shower contemplating whether this career was worth it.

countless of potential roles never making it pass the call-back stage; he was growing exhausted from it. driving from city to city, filling his car with gas that would amount to nothing in the end. he could only stretch his royalties out for so much longer, and—

no, he wasn't a quitter. the last time he felt like this, the next audition was a success. if predictions are right, he'd consider this madness a sign of luck, at least for the meantime.

stressed!alan who needs something to take out his frustration on.

maybe he should head to the gym? no, he already showered. and it was already getting too late for his liking to drive back and forth at this time, even if he wasn't tired.

at the corner of his eye, his laptop glinted with a sparkle.

some good porn would fix him.

stressed!alan who has one hand down his sweats, and the other calmly scrolling through his favorite cam site.

his lips grew chapped, licking them from time to time as he watched the page load without the decency to sugar-coat its offerings. his sight was immediately assaulted with moving thumbnails of women, and men under the spell of their own lust. some squirmed from the uncontrollable feeling of being filled, while others preferred talking to their patrons, touching themselves to the pixelated smut sent through the chat.

stressed!alan who has you on his mind despite the options to choose from, and he squeezes his large balls in his hand.

the cursor maneuvered respectfully around one performer’s breasts and another’s erection in its journey to the filter list. the drop-down menu pulled open and alan checked off the men within his age range. 

with a quick load, the website refreshed with a new assortment of performers, and his cock began to sprout at the moving thumbnails. his hand immediately began to feed his growing bulge with gentle squeezes and rubs as he scrolled what seemed to be endless cycle of camboys.

the sudden warmth of his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin. alan removed each article within seconds, yet the flush of his skin remained, ached as it yearned for the physical touch of the seductive men beckoning him.

stressed!alan who felt the world had stopped. the heat frozen in his cheeks, his hands equally mirroring as he hovered over a familiar face. strained, orbs dilated and wandering, and holy shit—so fucking inviting.

it was you.

stressed!alan who watches your stream for a few minutes to decipher if it was truly you before shamelessly stroking his cock after he confirms that it was.

sweat dribbled over your neck and body in diverging streams. your legs were raised on their own accord, thick thighs shaking from the muscles working overdrive to keep you still and perfectly centered before your webcam.

stressed!alan who couldn't believe what he was seeing. it all made sense now, why you were so reluctant to tell what you truly did.

you were a fucking whore. a whore for the internet for everyone to goon to, to cum to. he can imagine it now, how much pleasure you'd given these men as he watched you fuck yourself with a cucumber.

and he was one of them. alan's large cock was manhandled by his hand, stroking sloppily with an ample amount of lube squeezed over the flesh of throbbing muscle.

all those memories of you looking so wrecked came fluttering in. you looked wrecked because you were fucking wrecked.

by a fucking cucumber.

and alan has never been so envious of a vegetable despite eating them on a daily.

you were plunging your tight hole with a long cucumber, slickly lubed from the condom over the girth of the green plant. with every push of your wrist, your legs caved into the pressure to set themselves down, but every time the crown of the plant pressed into your prostate, you were reminded of the viewers who had been donating, their pop-up messages urging you to keep them up 'like a good boy.'

stressed!alan who jerks himself off to the rhythm of your wrist.

every time you sank the thick cucumber inside of you, alan paced himself to match your tempo, plunging himself into his closed fist, mimicking your refusing hole by opening his fingers one-by-one, until he had fully breached through.

stressed!alan who mutters to himself, who mutters words that you couldn't hear because you were busy pleasuring yourself for hundreds of men watching you.

"fuck yeah, take that dick..." "too big for you?""fuck, we'll make it fit."

stressed!alan who imagines himself fucking into you.

he knew his cock was big. he'd been told countless of times, by men and women, and lots of time, they would quit a few minutes in because it was just too much.

but you, he was certain that you were able to take him. because—fuck—alan was bigger than that cucumber you were fucking yourself open with. it needed a glorious amount of lube, like what you had displayed before him, dripping heavily from your abused cavity, but luckily, you had experience in handling big sizes, right?

you'd take him, like the 'good boy' the users were spamming in the chatbox. you'd take him with your eyes forced shut from him stretching you out. from alan's impatience and reluctance to wait for you to adjust to him, because he's fucking furious at you.

why didn't you tell him sooner? why were you hiding this from him? how could you be so selfish and leave him blue-balled whenever you'd come out in those shorts of yours? teasing him with the smallest glimpse of your inner thighs?

if he could ever lay his hands on you, he'd show no mercy. fucking your ass doggy-style till your cheeks clapped. plunging you with his cock as you spread your legs open for him. locking your throat with his arm while he's under you, your back pressed to his chest, rendering you trapped within his embrace. you'd take his cock in every position, in every state, whether you'd like it or not, because you were a good, fucking, boy.

stressed!alan who spits on his cock because you began simultaneously filling your mouth up with a dildo.

spit. god, there was so much spit coming out of your mouth. you loved pushing yourself to the limit, alan could see it. the light leaving your eyes whenever you pushed the dildo a little too far to the back of your throat. that could be his cock, if you let him.

he imagined how warm your mouth would be. how perfectly shaped it's made for his thick, meaty cock. he had the perfect curve to make it a struggle to swallow him down, but like he noticed, you loved a challenge, didn't you?

alan's cock was plump, and beaten red in his hand. noises similar to the sound of you sucking off the dildo were made with his hand, his spit and lube sloshing together in a lewd symphony that could be heard from your room if you'd learn to shut up.

"choke on it, gag on that fucking dick..." "fuck yeah, spit on it.""good fucking boy."

stressed!alan who's nearing his climax from watching you tease the camera with your hole.

you repeated countless of profanities after every plunge of the cucumber flushing deep inside of you. you made sure to buy the girthiest one; they loved seeing your asshole gape at the end of the stream. twisting your wrist, you could feel the subtle ridges of the cucumber, violating your guts with its nature, and it was all-so glorious. the size, the texture, the viewers, the sound of donations coming in, the ‘thank you’ messages after for making them come; you were a true star within this community and it evidently showed when you finally hit your donation goal for the night.

alan fucked his fist, nearly coming to the sight of your gaping hole when you yanked the cucumber out of you like a sword-wielding knight ready to slay a dragon.

it was beautiful, watching you desperately hold onto the physical being of the cucumber, but all there was to it in the end was the memory of its girth. your hole was perfectly molded it, clenching and pursing, blowing fluttering kisses to the camera, to alan.

and if it was up to him, he'd ram his cock into you by now, not letting a second to spare in fucking you until your muscles felt like jelly, because fuck, you were so enticing like this. head lolled back, mouth open with your tongue hanging out as if you had a dripping cock to catch its cum above you.

the sound of donations kept chiming in, and alan knew he wasn't alone in this enchantment.

one more hit to your prostate, and you came undone in seconds. thick spurts of cum shot at your chest from your current position, then at your face when you raised your hips a little higher and pumped your cock with a ravishing fist. the sound of donations rang like a police siren. if you were being profiled for a crime, it was because you couldn’t hold in your cum any longer like one user had begged for you to.

stressed!alan who perfectly aligns his orgasm with yours and blows multiple loads on the screen on his laptop. his moans came out in hushed stutters, countering your choked whimpers that would then break out into begs for cum.

"fuck, fuck, fuck. i need your cum, i need it. give me all of it, fuck. all over my body. in my ass. on my face. i need that load."

his cum came out in thick, pulsating ropes, flying forward to land on the image of you resuming to fuck yourself to your audience's collective orgasm. this time, at a closer view, as you centered the camera to fill the stream with a screenful of ass and a gaping hole. it was your fans' favorite part of the stream, the chat exploding in several fire emojis and astonishment as you showed your pretty insides blooming for thick, endless spunk.

it was hypnotizing, almost as if you were really there before him.

with one hand, alan brought his laptop in between his legs, and smeared his own cum over the blooming resolution of his screen. feigning a breeding, he slides his cock over his cum, over his laptop screen, while you moaned in the background, begging lewdly for cum, to be filled, to be bred, to be dripping, to be fucked, and alan doesn't know what came over him, but another load automatically came out of him like some kind of spell.

"h-holy shit...""fuck, yeah... give me that load, all your load... are my fans breeding me right now?"

alan painted you until you were practically hidden beneath the layers of his orgasm. translucent white blurred the screen, but he could still make out your silhouette. sitting now, exhausted, wrecked, evidently too tired to be bothered to clean up the mess you made on your body.

and just like that, his head felt lighter. all of his worries had left with every dump of load over your pixelated hole, and yours as well, as you leaned back to catch your breath with your eyes closed. his breathing matched the pace of yours, together, collectively, and all he could do was shortly laugh at the situation before him.

roommate!alan who greets you in the morning with a strange smirk as you made yourself breakfast.

"i can see why your job is physically draining now." "hm?" you yawned. "what are you talking—"

roommate!alan who pulls out a cucumber from the fridge, and cuts it into thin slices for his morning smoothie.

"i-i can explain—""you can make it up to me tonight."

he popped a slice into his mouth after.

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[comicaurora]

In the latest trope talk you used Odo as part of your examples. I think You've talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation before but not Deep Space Nine and I just had some questions about what you thought about the show.

What did you most/least enjoy about the series?

What did you think of DS9's syndicated episodes compared to contemporary trek's (TNG, VOY) episodic nature?

How do you feel about the Dominion storyline as a whole? Did you feel like it went against Star Trek's utopian future?

Which characters stood out to you the most/had the most engaging development?

What do you think gagh tastes like?

Any other thoughts about the series?

Oh man, DS9.

I have this very consistent pattern of thinking that the star trek I have most recently watched is the best star trek. When I watched TNG it was the best because of its standout episodes that let Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner show off. Then when I watched Voyager it was the best because Janeway was incredible and 7 of 9's arc was a beautiful iteration on the "inhuman character explores humanity" star trek trope. Then when I got to DS9 I was like "Oh, so this is what actually good Star Trek looks like." I do think I'm actually right this time, though.

I think they really took advantage of how different the core premise of the show was from previous Star Treks. Because the setting was very consistent, the episodic variations on the formula weren't dedicated to seeking out Weird New Shit, but to focusing on the characters and their dynamics with one another. Correspondingly I think the best thing in the show is the character writing and how everyone's arcs are built up. This was something I think they were building towards with the previous series; TNG would occasionally have character-focused episodes, but for the most part everybody on the ship operated like a well-oiled machine, inputting the Weird Thing Of The Week and outputting a solution. Voyager destabilized the formula by yeeting the heroes halfway across the galaxy and well outside the safe confines of federation space, so you got a lot more opportunities for drama caused by limited supplies or existential despair, and a lot more character-driven conundrums without clean or flawless solutions. DS9 is kind of the apotheosis of this shift away from "seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go etc etc" because instead of our heroes briefly interacting with Bajor and then fucking off into the end credits, they're sitting right on top of a planet undergoing tumultuous social restructuring after the end of a long and horrible military occupation, and they're there for 7 seasons. Because they aren't following an adventure-of-the-week formula, absolutely everything they do has consequences they have to deal with later down the line, and that lends itself very well to longform character arcs.

I liked the Dominion storyline well enough, and I think the existence of an evil space empire to fight doesn't preclude the Federation being a utopia. Utopias are internally perfect systems, not worlds that have absolutely no conflict. I think the part of DS9 that does undercut the utopia is the whole thing with Section 31, but I think that's part of a very intentional move on the writers' part to highlight that Section 31 is not as necessary as they think they are, and that doing all this stuff unethically is a moral concession and a shortcut that demeans the principles of the Federation. That's part of why I like that they serve as a nemesis to Doctor Bashir, who has very personal reasons to despise the idea of taking the easy way out.

Character-wise, I have very predictable favs. Jadzia Dax is fascinating to me, and I love the way they play with her past lives and centuries of experience to create this very layered character packed with plothooks. Also I have very simple tastes, and "woman fills narrative Man Role trope and nobody is weird about it" is an itch I so rarely get scratched despite how not complicated it is. Jadzia gets to be a swashbuckling romantic hero with a tragic starcrossed lover; she gets to be a wise yet cheerful mentor to Captain Sisko; she gets to be a noble warrior honoring debts from a lifetime ago. And I adore how her dynamic with Sisko plays out over the seasons - another completely uncomplicated trope I so rarely get to enjoy, male and female leads who are profoundly ride-or-die for one another and have absolutely no interest in making out. I am still so mad about how Jadzia gets iced, but that doesn't mean I don't like Ezri, and there is something very beautiful about how when she gets Dax'd and her existence becomes an absolute mess of confusion and conflicting memories and she doesn't even know who she is anymore, her single point of stability is Sisko.

That said, Garak is probably my overall fav. The man is an absolute drama hound and since he's not technically main cast it's a rare treat to get him focused on. He is so much fun on a rewatch when you can see exactly when and how he's lying and when he's telling the truth in a way that everyone thinks is lying, and what I think is most interesting about him is how absolutely everybody else on the station has him figured out. There's this "I know he knows I know they know" loop underlying almost every interaction. Everyone knows he's a spy, he knows everyone knows, and they're all just vibing anyway. It's like his entire character is built on telling the truth in a way that sounds like a lie, to the point where it always manages to surprise people when he does something absolutely ruthless. He's been saying he's a bad guy the whole time! People seem to keep forgetting!

Also, fun fact, the very first chunk of DS9 I caught was the back half of the episode "The Wire", and when I was mentioning this to my dad, I was like "yeah I don't remember their names but these two guys seemed extremely married-" and he immediately went "oh, Garak and the doctor?" so that's very telling I think

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Lilia Vanrouge - Ceremonial Robes Vignette

"It's a showdown!"

[Classroom]

Lilia: Ooh, I see you've brought donuts from the Scalding Sands today, Kalim.

Kalim: You know your stuff, Lilia! It's a syrup-covered donut called awamat.

Cater: Looks tasty, but feels like it's a snack that's way sweeter than sweet.

Cater: I think I'll start off with the candy that Lilia-chan brought. Down the hatch…Mm?

Cater: [cough, gasp, sputter]! Ack, this flavor's crazy!

Lilia: Kufufu, it's licorice. One bite and you're already hooked, huh?

Cater: No, I'm saying it's bad crazy! It's salty, and tastes like rubber…

Lilia: Does it? I actually quite like it. …Nom. …Hmhm, yep, it's definitely tasty.

Kalim: How can you eat it all happy like that～? I can't with this, either. It doesn't even smell like it's edible.

Lilia: That's a shame, all I wanted was to share my favorite snacks with my clubmates.

Cater: Oh, right. Speaking of club stuff, what're we gonna do to try to pull in new members this year at the club showcase?

Kalim/Lilia: …?

Cater: Hey, come on! We met up today specifically to talk about what we were gonna do for that!

Lilia: And uh, what club were we again?

Cater: You don't even remember that!? We're the Pop Music Club!

Lilia: Oh right, I remember now. I can't help forgetting 'cause even when we meet up for our club like this, we're usually just lazing about anyway.

Kalim: Yeah, I feel like we haven't really played much music since I joined the club, either.

Cater: Seee, that's why the Headmage was on our case～

Cater: He said that since there's only three of us and we don't really do dedicated club activities, if we don't get more members this year, our club'll be disbanded!

Cater: That's why we absolutely need to get more folks to join us at the club showcase! Especially since it's basically impossible to get any of the older students to drop their clubs and join us, anyway.

Lilia: Plus, it feels like the students here aren't really geared towards joining a band, either.

Cater: Yeaaaaah～ Fights would break out even before we can even set up a live performance.

Lilia: Every time someone opens their mouth, it's just "our musical tastes are just different" and they leave. None of them are team players.

Kalim: And then in the end, it's just us left over.

Cater: Just us three easy-breezy boys～

Cater: 'Sides, it was Lilia-chan's performance from last year's club showcase that was the problem.

Cater: It totally threw everyone off when you just went all screamo and smashed your guitar! We only got Kalim-kun out of all the possible newbies 'cause of that.

Lilia: Nonsense. That scream is my specialty.

Lilia: Thrash metal isn't thrash metal without all my guitar strings snapping.

Cater: There's no way I can keep up with something as hardcore and heavy as that. Doesn't really feel like many people'd like it, either.

Kalim: I totally thought your performance was pretty cool, Lilia! I'd never seen anything like that.

Kalim: It really surprised me when you just leaped off the stage into the audience, too! Ahaha!

Lilia: Oh yes, the best part of a live performance is the stage dive.

Lilia: I was just as surprised that I fell straight to the floor because no one tried to catch me. Kheehee

Cater: 'K, we really gotta stop with goin' down memory lane now. Keep this up and we're really gonna lose our club, y'know?

Cater: I don't wanna lose our precious space to hang after classes. There's no way I'd even consider joining an athletic club～

Lilia: I hear you, I hear you. Then, I guess we should hunker down and prepare a band performance for the club orientation showcase.

Lilia: So, if we're putting together a three-piece band, who should be in what position?

Kalim: Well, obviously…

Kalim/Cater/Lilia: I'D BE ON MAIN VOCALS!

Cater: No way, c'mon, we can't all be vying for the vocalist spot!

Lilia: Well, we may be "easy-breezy boys" as you say, but in the end, we're still Night Raven College boys.

Lilia: Well, if we're picking a vocalist, it only makes sense that whoever can sing best takes the spot.

Kalim: Well, then that's gotta be me! Whenever I sing, I got Jamil, my parents and my siblings all sayin' I'm amazing!

Cater: Ehhh～ Don't think we can really go off of what your family and close friends say, can we?

Cater: But then there's me. Whenever I go sing karaoke with someone, it's a mad party!

Lilia: Wait a moment, you two. I've already proven that I can sing at last year's club orientation showcase.

Cater: No way, I already told you that your zombie-like shouting's only gonna scare away any potential newbies!

Lilia: Looks like we're at a stalemate…

Lilia: Well, guess there's no other choice… It's a showdown for that prized vocalist spot!

Kalim/Cater: Eh!?

[Classroom]

Kalim: So, what're we doin' to win the vocalist spot?

Cater: I'm gonna pass if it's a physical fight!

Lilia: Well, since we're looking for the best voice, it should be sufficient enough to do a singing competition using a karaoke app to score us.

Lilia: We each sing once. And we should each pick out a song we're good at singing.

Cater: Ok, we just gotta pick a song we know front to back, huh! Cool, so let's get this shindig started～♪

Kalim: You already decide what you're singing, Cater?

Cater: Yup, I'm thinking of doing the new song my favorite band just released this week. It's perfectly in my range 'n all.

Cater: …Oh, wait. It looks like it's not in the karaoke app yet, though.

Lilia: Guess you need to look for another song. What about you, Kalim?

Kalim: Mmm～ I thought about it, and…

Kalim: I'm way better at dancing than singing, y'know. Can I do that instead?

Cater: No, absolutely not! That's not what we're looking for at all!

Lilia: Kheeheehee, you're a silly lad, as always. Well, you still have time to pick out a song after I've finished singing.

Lilia: I'll start up the karaoke app, and… Hm. Would a lullaby from Briar Valley be considered a folk song?

Cater: A lullaby!? That's totally on the other side of the music spectrum from your usual metal music!!

Lilia: Lullabies are my specialty! I can instantly send a crying babe back into dreamland.

Cater: Wow. I wasn't expecting that.

Lilia: Ehehe. The secret is that I ad-lib some screaming shouts as I sing it.

Cater: But it's a lullaby!?

Cater: You're saying there's a baby out there who can listen to your screamo and actually sleep!? You sure they didn't just pass out!?

Lilia: Rude. He was sleeping away so peacefully. Ahh, how nostalgic.

Kalim: Oh, do you have much younger siblings too, Lilia?

Lilia: Well, no, he wasn't a sibling… But I did live with a babe for a while.

Kalim: I'm always trying to sing them lullabies to get them to sleep, but they never do. You'll have to show me your tricks later!

Lilia: Sure thing. How about I show you now… Hm? Looks like Briar Valley lullabies aren't in this app either.

Cater: Aw, man～ Guess it's just a little too specific, huh?

Lilia: So, neither me nor Cater can sing what we want. Kalim would rather dance…

Lilia: Well, some competition this turned out to be. Why don't we just do rock-paper-scissors to decide, then?

Lilia: It only makes sense that he who is the luckiest should shoulder the fate of our band's future.

Cater: That was out of left field...

Kalim: Well, why not? It's easy and we'll be done in a flash.

Cater: Fine… I guess leaving it up to something random like this is more our style anyway.

Lilia: Okay, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors…

Kalim/Cater/Lilia: Go!

Lilia: Yaay～ I win! I get to do the vocals!

Kalim: Maaan～ You're so lucky, Lilia.

Cater: Don't smash up the guitar this year, mmkay～?

Lilia: Yeh! …But after all that, I think the bass or drums would suit me better after all.

Cater: Then what was with that celebrating just now!?

Lilia: I just like snatch the win from those who wanted it, I guess.

Cater: If you need to be the center of attention like that, then maybe the singing guitarist position really does suit you after all?

Lilia: You don't get it, huh. Based on my research, the leader of the band is most often the bassist or the drummer.

Lilia: Also, they got this quiet and mature vibe, which also seems cool to me.

Lilia: You can be the main vocals, Cater, since you'd probably know all the popular songs right now.

Cater: Yaay～ Thanks, Lilia-chan! Then I'll be singing and on guitar! Kalim, what about you?

Kalim: If I'm not the lead vocalist? I only really know the instruments we got back home in the Scalding sands. I'm pretty good at the darbuka.

Cater: What's a darbuka? That's the first time I've ever heard that name.

Lilia: It's a type of drum that makes an exotic sound. I saw it once a long time ago when I visited the Scalding Sands.

Cater: I hate to be that guy, but aren't we gonna stray from the standard three-piece band if we use more specialized instruments…?

Lilia: Well, if you're good at percussion, then you should be on drums! I'll teach you how to play it.

Kalim: Thanks, Lilia! I can't wait to play a new instrument!

Lilia: So that means I'm the bassist and the leader of the band!

Cater: You're really hung up on being the leader, huh～ Okay then, Leader. What should we wear, then?

Lilia: Hm… Good question. Whatever it is, it should be flashy and cool.

Kalim: We can just special order some super fancy costumes! What if we sew on some gems to give them some serious sparkle?

Cater: Nice idea～♪ But there's no way that's in our budget…

Lilia: Yes, unfortunately, we're a small club that's in danger of being disbanded. Probably the only thing we can afford with what little we have is instrument upkeep.

Kalim: So, what, we have to do it with whatever we already own…?

Cater: Our dorm uniforms look cool… But they all clash～

Lilia: What outfit do all of us own that match despite being from different dorms… That's also cool… Hmmm…

Lilia: Oh yeah! What about our ceremonial robes!?

Cater: Lilia-chan, great idea!

Kalim: If you guys are good with it, so am I!

Lilia: Alright, now that we've figured out our costume, we just gotta practice every day until the club orientation!

Kalim/Cater: Yeah!!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

Lilia: …Is something that happened once.

Silver: I see, so that's why you weren't on guitar and vocals this year…

Sebek: I found your professional level bass playing to be an unforgettable sight to witness, Lilia-sama!!!!!

Lilia: And rightly so, of course. Kheeheehee.

Requested by @olivebranch311.

[lotusarchon]

you should know better than to ask a lady her age (nezha x reader)

content warnings: female reader, second pov (you/your), reader is a goddess and has tamayo vibes, nezha is nezha just more feral, mild age gap (both are adults on their first meeting + reader appears in her late twenties and nezha between 24-25 > author has no idea what counts as early/late twenties), all fluff and wholesome stuff, swooning nezha, nezha bullies mk once and wukong multiple times (biggest nezha opp), li jing is his own warning tbh

author's notes: demon slayer x lmk crossover when?

Meeting you was a dream Nezha could never want to forget. It was one of his life's greatest mistakes, and yet for once in his life, it was one he held no regrets for. Not one bit, when the feelings he held for you were so pure and filled with nothing but the utmost passion. To him, you meant the world, and perhaps more.

“Nezha, is it?” Soft hands run through his hair, undoing the messy braids he'd struggled to tie just this morning. “An interesting name for a god like him.”

“Does it matter?” Above him, his father crosses his arm. “Can you heal him, or not?”

The soft voice sighs melancholy. It reminds him of a lullaby, sung to him by a distant voice during a thunderstorm. The hands that thread through his hair still, and the warmth spreads through his body. Gentle fingers press into his scalp, massaging the tender skin.

Then, there is silence.

“That's it?” Li Jing's bitter voice breaks the silence. “That's all?”

“I must remind you, my lord, that this humble servant is not as powerful as her elders.” The hands in his hair gently rub a pattern. “And she has done her best for this lotus prince. All that remains now is for him to rest and allow his body to heal on its own.”

He feels fine, though. Whatever this stranger had done, his body has never felt more alive. It was opposite feeling he had felt before, when Taiyi had restored him.

His father ‘tsks’ angrily. “He'll be fine. He's not some child to rest at every interval.”

He anticipates whoever the stranger is to agree with him.

“Li Jing. You are correct that this is no child, but he is, theoretically, your son. And unless you imply your wife has made you wear a green hat, there is nothing in this world that can change the shared blood you two will have even until death. Have some sympathy, won't you?”

Ah. This was a strange feeling, having someone stand up to that prick of a father he had. Something warm fills his chest at the thought.

It's only when a door slams shut that Nezha dares to open his eyes. A kind woman is looking down at him, with nothing but a smile on her lips.

“Hello, Nezha.” You spoke his name so kindly, filled nothing but gentleness. “I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?”

A goddess. No, something else indeed.

Nezha had zero qualms dedicating his life's purpose to you. It's not like he had much to do anyway, and the Jade Emperor did not seem to mind his attachment to you so long as he did his duties. Li Jing complained often, and for all Nezha knew, most definitely still did, about this vulnerability he showed the goddess that healed him, but the Lotus Prince found that he did not give one fuck. Why should he care if his father had a stick up his ass about his relationship with the goddess that healed him? Lady (Name) held no complaints towards his presence, and thus, any other complaints from outsiders were ignored.

And you truly had nothing against Nezha's presence at your side. Since the day he had found himself lying on your lap, he seemed to hold some form of attachment and loyalty towards you. You put it off as his attempt at being grateful, even though you really didn't mind. Helping people was always one of the joys you held ever so dearly in your immortal life. Nezha really didn't need to express his gratefulness…

Though his company was nothing short of welcoming. The Lotus Prince, for all his grumpy attitude and sulky expressions, was a dear to be around, and you quite liked how his expression would always turn so adorably pink when you compliment his feats. One of your favorite pastimes with him was styling his hair, and tying colorful ribbons in them for the funs of it.

A few gods and immortals were surprised at the sight, but soon enough they learnt it was best not to ask. Less questions meant less injuries, since a certain prince did not like it when people swooned over your kindness.

You were pretty sure that was why so many patients senses a cold aura every visit, come to think of it. But maybe it was just your imagination and not the lotus prince glaring from the window.

Speaking of which, how did he managed to climb so high??

“Sun Wukong, is it?” You thanked Nezha for the tray that he offered you, your favorite blend of tea―a gift from Nezha's older brother, Jinzha―already made and poured into the fancy porcelain cups you favored so much. The tray was set down on the small table between yourself and your guests, and you offered a cup to each. “And your loyal protege, MK?”

The boy wearing the red bandanna nodded quickly, a noticeable blush on his cheeks. You put it off as excitement, since the moment he'd entered the celestial realm, he'd been gushing about the beauty of the place, top to bottom and back again. His mentor wasn't half as excited, grabbing him by the collar to stop him from running off to who knows where while he sipped on a cup. 

“I'm surprised you haven't heard of me,” Sun Wukong remarked, raising a brow at you. “You a new god or something?” When you nodded in confirmation, he blinked. “Ah, that explains it. Pretty sure I would've recognized a pretty face like yours.”

Next to you, Nezha's aura radiated annoyance. Maybe it was just your imagination, but you swore you could feel the god and monkey exchanging heated glares.

Weird.

“You flatter this servant too much,” you answered humbly and smiled. “But it is true that this is the first time I've even heard of you, Sun Wukong.”

“Ah? How old even are you?” MK questioned curiously.

“25 when she first achieved enlightenment. 457 years in mortal terms.” This time, Nezha was the one who spoke. You flashed him a grateful smile―because sadly, you truly kept no track of these things, not when it felt so pointless―but Wukong exchanged a weird look with his protege, especially when Nezha gave him a stink eye. “And you should know better than to ask a lady her age. It's disrespectful.”

“Don't be mean, he meant no harm―” You chided Nezha, gently patting his face. He leaned into your touch with a pleasant smile, and you shook your head at the sweet gesture. “And yes, I've lived long, but not as long as the Prince or Sun Wukong has. I'm afraid there are still many things I am duly unaware of.”

Sun Wukong snickered. “Some more than others, aye, Nezha?”

In response, a golden brick was thrown at the monkey's face. It hit him square on the face, and you gasped as Sun Wukong fell over, holding his face painfully. 

“Nezha!” You scolded the lotus prince and gather your robes to stand and examine the fallen Sage. Aside from the red spot on his forehead, he seemed fine, but still whined about the pain he was in. You glanced at Nezha's pouting expression. “That was not very polite! Don't do that again, understood?”

Nezha relented. “Yes, Lady (Name).” Even when angry she's still as beautiful as the morning sun.

Sun Wukong peeked an eye open. He caught the Lotus Prince's gaze from his position on your lap, and while you focused on soothing his pain, he winked.

Let's just say all hell broke loose after that, and Nezha and Sun Wukong owed you a new palace.

“Nyahaha.”

“Fuck you you stupid fucking cock slobbing whore!”

“Nezha!”

“Sorry, Lady (Name).”

“:3”

@lotusarchon , 23.09.2024, all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

[midwestgp]

Hello! After a good few weeks of combing through lots of data, I have coherent numbers for your viewing pleasure. This whole thing birthed from the hypothesis that past BTS fans now liked Charles and quickly grew from there. I am happy to say that many of my suspicions were confirmed and some surprises arose along the way. Thank you to everyone who participated and took the time to relive some great or not-so-great memories. Enjoy!

Some Notes Before Hand:

Combing through this data was a bit challenging. I tried to find data points that most fans would find interesting. To help give myself some sort of a guide I chose one of the top subjects in each category and analyzed the data attached to them. I will probably look back into this stuff more in the future, but trying to find points for everyone is a wild goose chase. That being said, if you notice something I do not, please let me know! I want to hear what you all think that's why I made this :)

Favorite Drivers (current grid):

So this was a bit surprising, but I think it was caused mainly by my wording. According to this graph, out of 346 users, Oscar Piastri is currently the most popular driver by a long shot. While I do think Oscar is very well loved, I do not think this is true at all. Because I allowed participants to choose more than one driver it became less of a true ranking and more "these are the drivers people think most positively of currently". I think if I asked everyone to pick one person Oscar would not be at the top and more likely around the 3rd-5th range. Other than Oscar it is also important to note my audience certainly had an effect on the results. Things are probably skewed slightly towards other drivers than they are realistically, but I still think this is pretty close.

For the future keep the numbers up here in mind and our top three, Oscar, Charles and Max, will be important. All pipelines are based off and cross referenced with this data set.

Drivers on Past Grids:

No surprises here! I did not do any pipelines attached to any of the data on this graph so this question was just for fun.

Anime and Manga:

Sports anime! Competition! Yippee! This is about exactly what I thought would happen. It makes perfect sense that the sports anime is popular in the sport community. Also, it was really fun reading some of your less than enthusiastic previous fandom experiences and memories.

Pipelines:

31/69 Haikyuu!! fans said that Max was one of their favorite drivers.

Also chances are that if you watched Haikyuu!! you also watched My Hero Academia because 29/69 Haikyuu!! fans also clicked My Hero Academia.

Max was the most popular person in this category as a whole and that does not shock me even slightly.

Favorite Characters:

Izuku Midoriya and Bakugou Katsuki from My Hero Academia

Tobio Kageyama from Haikyuu!!

Russia from Hetalia

L from Death Note

Levi Ackerman from Attack On Titan

Saiki K. from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

Literature:

I probably have the least commentary on this section. A lot of the books I love don't have dedicated fan bases attached to them (I wish they did) so I needed help when making this question. I have no clue what a lot of these are but I'm glad that you all enjoyed them.

Pipelines:

My Hypothesis for this was "are past Harry Potter fans more likely to like drivers with British accents?"

100/152 Harry Potter fans said that either Lando, Lewis, George or Alex was one of their favorite drivers. Considering that none of these drivers are in our top three I'd say I was correct.

Favorite Characters:

Draco from Harry Potter

Newt from The Maze Runner

Kili from The Hobbit

Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice

Percy Jackson from Percy Jackson

Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games

Alice Cullen from Twilight

Comics, Cartoons, Graphic Novels:

I was not previously aware of the amount of comic and graphic novel fans in Flblur! I thought at first that these numbers were coming from MCU and DCU fans (some them surely but that's besides the point), but after consulting my council (princess george cord) I quickly learned that there are a lot of comic fans.

Pipelines:

When looking at the Marvel Comics numbers, this was one of the most diverse sections when comparing it to favorite drivers. This group leaned more towards the middle of the pack rather than our top three.

That being said Max and Lewis were our most popular contenders here. 36/93 Marvel Comics fans liked Max and 33/93 Marvel Comics fans liked Lewis.

I personally feel like this makes a ton of sense.

Favorite Characters:

Lance, Keith, Shiro and Pidge from Voltron: Legendary Defender

Zuko and Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender

Dipper and Mable Pines from Gravity Falls

Garnet from Steven Universe

Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes and Deadpool from Marvel Comics

Fluttershy from My Little Pony

Fandom RPF (no music):

Looking at this section now, my labels could be a bit confusing. Chances are if you are a fan of a person in the Minecraft RPF category they also probably fit into both the YouTuber RPF and Streamer RPF categories. I made these separate from each other based on if I felt they had enough history and content to overpower other names who would fall in there. Phandom has so much history at this point that if I bunched it in with Youtuber RPF it would kind of feel disrespectful (and I wasn't even involved in it). Anyways, I decided to focus on Minecraft RPF for the pipeline in this section just because I felt like I could analyze it more closely even though it isn't the top spot.

Pipelines:

So my hypothesis for this section was that the fans of Minecraft RPF would generally be more attracted to the younger people on the grid, like 2019 rookies and onward.

Something stood out very quickly and it was the amount of Logan and Oscar fans. The numbers aren't staggering or anything, but there's certainly a pipeline here.

23/62 Logan fans like Minecraft RPF and 49/197 Oscar fans liked Minecraft RPF. As a pairing, 16 Minecraft RPF fans liked both. Now this probably doesn't seem like a lot, but if you compare it with Lando's numbers (because Lando and Oscar is Oscar's most popular pairing) its kinda clear there's something different here. Only 18/88 Lando fans were previously Minecraft RPF fans.

Favorite People:

Dan and Phil

Technoblade

Ranboo

Markiplier

Smosh

Movie and Film:

It is not shock the amount of Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars and DC Universe fans there are in F1blur. I was a bit surprised by the lack of spread overall though, though who am I too judge I would really only attach myself to like two of these. Originally I did not want to look at the MCU in for this sections pipeline because I looked at the comics earlier, but the results were surprisingly different.

Pipelines:

Ok, so previously in the Marvel Comics section the two most popular people were Max and Lewis. Here things are a bit different though Max and Lewis and still popular.

The standouts here this time are Alex and Yuki! 41/88 Alex fans liked the MCU and 46/73 Yuki fans liked the MCU.

It is also worth mentioning that 93/167 Oscar fans liked the MCU too.

Favorite Characters:

Loki, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Black Widow and Peter Parker from the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Poe, Finn, Luke Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi and the Clones from Star Wars.

Merlin from Kingsman

Q from the James Bond Franchise

Music and Band RPF (no kpop):

I mean, it's what is says on the tin. One Direction being the most popular band in F1blur makes perfect sense, no comment. It also makes sense that Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots and Fall Out Boy are so similar in numbers. I am kind of curious on how people interact with fandom spaces with some of these artists, but those are questions for another time.

Pipelines:

Although I did not poll anything to do with shipping, I am going to talk about it here. It did not shock me that Charles and Max were popular here.

53/143 Charles fans were One Direction fans and 51/130 Max fans were One Direction fans too.

28/108 One Direction Fans chose both Max and Charles. I am sort of pointing at possible Larry and Lestappen connections. Yeah.

Also lots of George and Lewis fans here.

Favorite People:

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles from One Direction

Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance

George Harrison from The Beatles

Luke Hemmings from Five Seconds of Summer

Kpop:

This is our smallest yes category...I will admit, I was shocked by the lack of Kpop fans from the poll. I assumed that because a lot of my F1 friends and moots were previous Kpop people that this would be similar for everyone else. I now see I am wrong. I am a little sad about it to be honest. Anyways, BTS was the most popular and no one bats an eye. Though I predicted EXO and Blackpink would have placed higher.

Pipelines:

I wanted to focus on Charles for this one because him and BTS is why I did this whole thing.

Would it surprise you if 1/5 Charles fans were also BTS fans? Because it's real and I think that's amazing.

I crave to know what this fraction of the Charles fandom thinks about Jungkook because I know it's not normal :).

Favorite People:

Kim Namjoon (RM), Min Yoongi (Suga) and Jeon Jungkook from BTS

Bangchan and Lee Know from Stray Kidz

Jennie from Blackpink

TV Shows:

This was our biggest yes category! The TV section has such a nice spread and it was one of the most fun sections to study in my opinion. I am not super into any TV Show fandoms so I also learned a lot here. These series are topics I will see in the trending tab, but know literal zero about. I am glad that you all seem to love these shows because that makes total sense since F1 is also TV.

Pipelines:

Ok so I don't know much about Sherlock. When trying to find a pipeline here I just took a lot of numbers from each driver and waited for something to stick.

Imagine my shock when the standout was Fernando! 23/71 Fernando fans also chose Sherlock. Thats about 32%. Middle aged men for the win.

Favorite Characters:

Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf

Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley from Stranger Things

Sam and Dean Winchester and Castiel from Supernatural

Hannibal Lector from Hannibal

The 10th, 11th and 12th Doctors from Doctor Who

Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens

Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock

Theater:

Ah yes... theater. If I could go back and redo this I would LOVE to know what extracurriculars everyone did in school because I think that would pair with all this so well. Again, it is not surprising that Hamilton is the fan favorite. Romance, competition, war, betrayal, it has it all and so does F1 (and Heathers too now that I think about it).

Pipelines:

I was practically flabbergasted by this section because it was immediately apparent that Hamilton fans go crazy for Oscar.

Out of the 91 people that said they were Hamilton fans... 74 of them also said they liked Oscar.

I do not know why this is. I thought George and Lewis were gonna be the stand outs here and they weren't. I'm a little bit confused, but at least you all sorta agree on something.

Favorite Characters:

Lafayette, John Laurens and Angelica Schuyler from Hamilton

JD and Veronica from Heathers

Enjolras and Grantaire from Les Misérables

Video Games:

Last Category, woo! Ok since I already focused on Minecraft and yapped on that a lot we are going to instead look at Detroit: Become Human. This section had the best spread overall which was nice to see. I knew the most about this section so I thought is was funny seeing how high Five Nights at Freddy's was. Though I forgot to add some of my own favorite games sadly. There's also probably a lot more pipelines here than I realize and I am sorry that I can't look into more of them.

Pipelines:

I knew coming in that Detroit: Become Human was going to be popular though I was surprised it beat out Five Night's At Freddy's.

I was not surprised though it find that George and Lewis were very popular amongst these fans.

16/43 Detroit: Become Human fans were fans of George and/or Lewis, the vast majority being both.

Favorite Characters:

Zelda and Link from The Legend of Zelda

Ghost and Soap from Call of Duty

Zagreus from Hades

Connor from Detroit: Become Human

Ganyu from Genshin Impact

Leon S. Kennedy from Resident Evil

Change In Pace: About You

So after asking all these fandom based questions I wanted to ask two about each individual: age and time spent watching. I think it's important to also study how time effects people in fandom and the fandom space as well.

Age:

For this section I looked at the average number of drivers picked during the first question. I predicted that the older you were, the less drivers you would say were your favorite and I was correct.

Below 18: 4.07 range: 1-10

18-22: 3.44 range: 1-9

23-25: 3.38 range: 1-13

26-29: 3.42 range: 1-10

30-35: 3.26 range: 1-6

36+: 2.53 range: 1-5

Time Watching F1:

I did the same analysis here as I did with the age question, so the longer you've been watching the less drivers you would say were your favorite. I was surprised by the amount of people who have been watching for less than a year (not that there's anything wrong with that). Also "My Whole Life" is a separate category because I figure it is at least 15+ and it has the added idea that F1 might be more than just a hobby to you. Finally, the orange and red are 10+(10 votes) and 15+ years (9 votes).

Less Than A Year: 3.58 , range: 1-10

1 Year: 3.62 , range: 1-11

2 Years: 3.34 , range: 1-13

3 Years: 3 , range: 1-7

4 Years: 4.19 , range: 1-9

5+ Years: 3.52 , range: 1-7

10+ Years: 3.7 , range: 2-7

15+ Years: 2.77 , range: 1-6

My Whole Life: 2.92 , range: 1-8

The End and Final Thoughts:

I am tired. This took probably 50-60 hours to do. I don't want to type anything or count Oscar's name ever again. Besides that, this was a lot of fun. Thank you to everyone who took part in this survey. Many of you left very nice and funny messages for me. Thank you to everyone who caught errors and let me know. Thank you to the wonderful people of princess George cord for their support and help. And thank you to anyone who actually reads this. I am very hungry.

If anyone notices any errors or inconsistencies please tell me and I will try my best to fix them. I am no scholar, but I really did try my best to make this as true as possible.

P.S - Thank you to Game Theory for being my background noise for the majority of this.

Midwestgp (koyya) <3

[fluffysucker]

Battered and Bruising.

Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU) Boxer/Biker! Bucky Barnes x Chef! Reader Part of the Miss Americana & The heartbreak Prince. AKA Bucky and his princess ALL ONESHOTS CAN BE READ AS STAND-ALONE

You received a distressing phone call.

Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female. Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me.

Also I'm very bad at describing places. Please forgive me. Hope it's clear to picture.

Main Masterlist

You couldn't sit still. You kept squirming and fuzzing in the taxi's seat. You were sure the driver was giving you dirty looks, afraid you would wear down the material of his vehicle. But you couldn't care. You were close to biting your nails off. You were so worried. Anxiety filling your body like the darkness of the sky at midnight. Tension running through your muscles and veins like water in oceans.

It was supposed to be a normal day. just like any other.

You woke up to the feeling of soft kisses on your neck and strong arms wrapping tightly around you, pulling you closer than you were already. Sweet words filling your ears with your boyfriend's sleepy voice.

You lived for mornings like this, which is why you wouldn't be able to recall the last time you woke up alone in bed. It was either your place or his. A drawer in each of your dressers is now officially dedicated to the other's stuff. Pieces of each of you were spread at each other's homes. Because you became each other's home. Bucky was itching to ask you to move in together, but he was waiting for the right time.

After the blissful morning you shared together at Bucky's place with breakfast and your joint getting-ready routine, you left to start the day. It was a big bonus that both of your workplaces were separated by a wall. It gave you both a lot more time to spend together. Not only did you get to arrive and leave together, but you also got the chance to sneak in and see each other whenever you liked. You were lucky.

The minute you stepped in, you had so many things to do. Customers were following your tail as you walked in. Your business was growing, and you could never complain. As the day carried on, you got busier and busier. However, that didn't stop you from checking the time every now and then, so you didn't miss it. You would be sad if you did.

So when it reached five o'clock, you were throwing your apron off and leaving the restaurant. Ten minutes wouldn't hurt anybody.

You opened the gym's door and greeted MJ, who will be taking on the receptionist role since Peter was going with them tonight. You reminded yourself to stop by and drop off some food for her in a couple of hours. Maybe even a dessert.

Once you walked into the main area, your eyes were scanning the place for the person you came for.

"He is the locker room." You turned around as you heard Sam's voice.

"We could have left an hour early, but he refused. I wonder why." The smirk on Sam's face was big. Of course, he knew why Bucky didn't want to leave earlier than he told you.

"Have a good day, Sam." You walked towards the locker room with a smile on your face.

Bucky and the others had their own locker rooms other than the ones for the regular gym attendees. It was the one in the very back. Bucky chose it for privacy reasons. And since you got together, he had been enjoying this choice more and more.

As you were about to knock on the door, it was opened by Steve, who was walking out. A smirk, just like Sam's, found its place on his face as he saw you. Both men enjoyed watching their best friend being so head over heels in love, who was making them all wait for you because he never wanted to see the somber look on your face like he saw it once when he left before you stopped by. Never again. Everything could wait for you.

Steve stepped aside, letting you get in, and closed the door to give you both the time you needed.

Your boyfriend had his back to you as he was zipping up his duffle bag. But your sugary perfume and the smell of hours of cooking made him turn around. He would never miss your unique scent. the one that put him at ease and soothed his being.

"Hey, princess." He started walking towards you, and you met in the middle.

"Hey, you." You wrapped your arms around his neck and reached up to give him a peck on the lips.

"All ready?" You asked, keeping your arms around him.

"Yeah. Did the final training. Had a shower. Got everything I needed. We are ready to go." His arms were around your waist now.

"You are going to be so great. You are always the best." You gave him another peck.

"Just want one last thing." You looked at him, ready to help with whatever he needed.

"My good luck." Bucky easily lifted you up of your feet, kissing you passionately.

This is your routine now. Whenever Bucky had a fight, you would show up and wish him good luck before he left. He hadn't lost one since.

You were happy with this routine. Bucky was still strongly against you ever watching him fight; while you disagreed, you knew it was his choice, and you respected that. So you enjoyed whatever he gave you.

In return, Bucky let you in more. He brought you to some of the team gatherings and hangouts. He wasn't surprised when your sweet self managed to win all his friends over. They loved you. Who could ever meet you and not love you? Bucky certainly wasn't the one to answer this. And you loved them. Your ability and capacity to love everyone didn't exclude the rough people he thought of as family.

While he refused to let you anywhere near the brutality he called a job, Bucky learned to compromise. So he started opening up. He started telling you about his days, fights, and sometimes opponents more. He knew you worried a lot about him and about the stuff he never shared. So he was trying to find common ground. And if wishing him good luck before every fight was going to put your mind in the littlest of ease, Bucky could do that.

And that was the last time you saw him for the day.

Bucky told you pits and pieces about his opponent today, but nothing much. All you knew was that Bucky was training hard, and he spent lots of late nights at the gym. Some nights, you would close your restaurant and then join him and watch as he trained. Any support you could provide him with, you weren't going to hesitate. even as little as keeping his company.

Your worry about his well-being during the fights was growing each time. It grew with your love for him. And you were madly in love with him.

You busied yourself in the kitchen, letting your emotions under control while you went from recipe to recipe and from dish to dish as you waited for Bucky's text.

Another thing Bucky picked up doing to help ease your nerves was texting you right after the fight. Usually, he would tell me that he was fine and what he was doing after. Whether he was staying and going to Nat's bar or coming back to you, You only joined them in the after-fight victory parties a number of times. Usually, only when the fights were easy. Because parties after big fights weren't just for the team. There would be lots of outsiders, other boxers, and teams. You knew Bucky wouldn't be comfortable if you were there.

So you waited for him. He preferred your place after these kinds of days. You would have a meal ready in the fridge for reheating. The bathroom would be filled with soap and water. Clean, silky-smooth sheets would be in place, covering the bed. everything to help him relax. And you checked on everything before you left for his place last night.

The only thing you had to do now was wait for his text.

But it never came. Instead, you received a very distressing phone call.

That was what led you to where you are right now. Your mind racing, your knuckles white around your bag, and your leg bouncing up and down in the backseat of the taxi.

Stark's property was huge. You couldn't miss it, even if you wanted to. It made sense why it would be so deep into the city. It took a very large space that only such locations offered. The street was all dark except for the neon lights with the name Stark above the entrance. Other than that, it was nearly black.

You were able to work out the figure standing under the lights right next to the entrance. He was pacing back and forth on the pavement. You paid the driver once he stopped as you got out of the cab.

"Peter, what is going on?" With quick steps, you were standing right in front of the young man.

"Is he okay?" The slight shake in your voice was obvious. The question had been haunting you ever since Peter called and didn't answer it the first time.

"Yes," Peter replied, already seeing the worry all over your face.

"Physically, at least." Peter continued. Because if Bucky was okay, why were you here?

Before you could ask any more questions, Peter led you in. The bouncers at the door let you in immediately as they saw Peter. The inside of the place was nothing like the outside. It was loud, bright, and full of people. There were small food trucks, side bars, merchandise stations, and everything. You could see different kinds of sports and entertainment exercises scattered all over the place, with people around. However, the main area of the property was occupied by a huge boxing ring. It had the most people around it. There are lots of people.

You couldn't inspect more of the place as Peter was rushing the both of you to the back area. It was very clear since you got in here that you didn't belong at all. Your choice of outfit and aura were making you stand out among the sea of people. Peter put his hand around the small of your back, respectively, to guide you through the place. He was trying to get you inside as fast as possible. He wasn't as intimidating as Bucky or some of the others. And if anything happened to you, even as little as a snarky comment, Peter couldn't imagine the wrath he would have to endure. To say Peter was panicking would be an understatement.

The breath of relief Peter let out as you entered the back area was audible. The back area was similar to the one in the gym but much larger and busier. Peter led you to the one room in the back, which you suspected was the largest in the place. He opened the door for you, and you had to close your eyes for a second from the contrast of the lightning. The back area was dimly lit, while the locker room was bright white. You got used to the lights, then looked around to find everybody in here.

As Peter walked you in, you could feel the high tension in the room. The first thing that caught your eye was bleeding Peter Quill and Thor. You didn't know Peter Quill that well; you only met him when you met the team and never passed the greetings stage, but you were more familiar and friendly with Thor. And the sight of both big men holding their noses to stop the bleeding, with bruises forming on their faces, was troubling. Lots of the others were trying to help them.

Only did you take your eyes away when Peter kept moving further into the room until you noticed the small room separated from the big one with a door. You found Sam and Bruce talking beside the door. Peter came to a stop when you reached both men.

"Thank God you are here." Sam spoke quickly as he laid eyes on you.

"Sam, what is going on?" Up to now, you had no idea why you were here. Peter rushed you in and then brought you here with no explanation. You could feel your nerves starting to burn from anxiety.

Before Sam could say anything, a sound of something breaking coming from behind the door rang through the place. You shared eye contact with Sam for seconds, and you started to form an idea about what was happening.

You stepped towards Sam, indicating that you wanted to get inside. Sam looked at you, and you gave him a nod to assure him, and he nodded back. Sam turned and knocked on the door.

You flinched, from surprise, as your boyfriend's angry voice echoed around, shouting that he didn't want to see anyone.

However, the door was unlocked, and Steve stood in the doorframe. You couldn't read the hard expression on his face. But his eyebrows softened slightly when he saw you.

The shouting from your boyfriend made everyone wince in their places. You stepped forward to take Sam's place and stood in front of Steve, determination in your eyes.

Steve signed before he moved aside to let you in, closing the door with the three of you.

The room was small. You thought maybe it was for medical purposes, if needed. But you didn't have the time or mind to pay any attention to your new surroundings.

Your boyfriend was sitting on a chair, his head in his hands, grabbing his hair tightly between his fingers, and his breath was short and angry. Brokrn stuff and objects were scattered all around the room.

"Bucky." You called for him softly to make your presence known.

His head shot up. His eyes were red, bruises were all over his face, and his breath got angrier.

"You called her?" His voice was quiet, but it was deep, hiding many emotions.

"You called my girl?" He stood up, keeping his eyes on Steve, not looking at you at all.

"You brought my girl here?" His breath was getting shorter, with every word coming out as a growl.

"Bucky.." You tried to speak and find the right words to say so it wouldn't escalate.

"You made her come here all by herself and walk in here?" He started walking towards you and Steve.

"YOU BROUGHT HER HERE TONIGHT." Bucky shouted, his angry voice ringing in the small room.

Out of instinct, Steve stepped forward to stand in front of Bucky, keeping you behind him.

That seemed to snap Bucky out of the spell he was in. His red eyes are now coated with hurt. His breath stopped for a moment. Frozen in his place, he couldn't help but think of it. Did Steve think he would hurt you? Did Steve think he needed to protect you from him? Did Steve think that even in this state, he would cause you any harm?

It felt like a knife driven deep into his heart. Betrayal from his best friend, who brought you here against all his wishes, and then thought you needed a shield to be in the same room with him.

But no, that wasn't why Steve did it. He didn't want you to see Bucky lose his temper like he did numerous times tonight. Steve couldn't remember whose idea it was to call you, but he could remember the collective agreement that approved of the suggestion. All aware of the effect you have on the boxer. So Steve expected, like the others, that once you walked in and his best friend saw you, all the insanity that was tonight would come to an end.

But Steve should have known better. Bringing you in here would only make Bucky madder, and you would get to see a version of your boyfriend that Bucky tried so hard to keep from you. Steve regretted agreeing to bring you here.

The tension in the room got thicker. The only sound was the heavy breathing of the three of you. You weren't able to see the look on Steve's face, but Bucky's expression was crystal clear.

"Steve, can you give us a minute?" You stepped away from behind Steve, so you could be in Bucky's eyesight.

Steve turned to you with an unsure look on his face, and you immediately rubbed his shoulder to assure him you knew what you were doing.

Steve nodded and left the room silently. Now, it was just the two of you.

While Bucky looked anywhere but you, his eyes moving all over the room, you finally got to look at him. He was in a pair of black sweatpants, his chest left bare, making all the bruises and cuts on his upper body exposed to your eyes.

You signed, your heart breaking at the sight of your boyfriend battered like this. But it wasn't his physical pain that you were only worried about.

Bucky's eyes finally moved to look at you as you put your bag on the nearest table and started to move around, looking for something.

Bucky was confused. He wanted to ask you what you were doing, but he couldn't find it in himself to talk to you. Too many emotions are tormenting him.

Your little, quiet squeals told him you found what you wanted. You moved towards him with the first-aid kit in hand.

You grabbed the closest chair and positioned it in front of the chair, which Bucky was previously sitting on, and pulled a small table closer as well, where you put the first aid kit and started to empty its contents.

"You will catch lots of infections if you don't get the wounds clean." You spoke when you noticed that Bucky was standing still in his place.

"And God knows you become a big baby when you get sick." You joked. You tried to lighten the mood. to tell him that you were here to help. You weren't judging him. You would never judge him.

And he heard you. So, he came and sat back in the chair in front of you. This time, he sat with his back straight so you could patch him up.

You sat in silence, but there was so much hanging in the air between you. You didn't want to push him. You knew he would start talking when he felt ready.

"Who called you?" And he did.

"Does it matter?" You didn't look at him, sticking to cleaning his wounds.

"To me, yes." He regretted raising his voice immediately, even when you didn't move.

"You shouldn't be here." He continued when he knew he wouldn't get an answer from you.

"But I am." You looked up at him.

"And I want to." Finally, your eyes have met since you got here.

"Don't you see it? the damage I'm capable of doing. the chaos I can create. the pain I put others through. The mess I am."

Today's game was cruel, to say the least. Bucky's opponent played dirty. So dirty, that wasn't against the rules. Because this was never mentioned in any rule book. Mental hits.

Bucky's opponent not only studied Bucky's style and techniques so well, but he did some research as well. So, he would be able to defeat Bucky's strength. And he did.

The second he knew Bucky was winning, he ran his mouth nonstop. He brought up stuff that should never again be brought into the ring. Family stuff. Bucky's life before boxing, the team and their families.

It was shocking. Bucky almost lost his footing once or twice. Was this allowed? Well, it wasn't prohibited. Bucky tried to keep his head straight and not focus on the words coming from the man in front of him. However, it was getting harder and harder as the man kept getting more personal.

Until his opponent mentioned your restaurant's name, Every little drop of blood in Bucky's body ran cold. The noise around him became an annoying ring in his ears. And the opponent took his chance and started landing his punches.

Bucky was trying to regain his composure, but the man's words and punches didn't stop. He was talking nonsense about your restaurant, but he made a mistake that he never estimated.

"I heard you got soft because of that place and wanted to know why. I will tell you what. I would go soft for an adorable thing like her. What a shame that you are the only one who gets to ruin her."

That was the nail in the man's coffin.

Bucky was unstoppable. A monster. a beast with no restraints. You weren't a subject to bring into such a rotten place, and that man was going to pay for even thinking you could be involved in this circus.

Bucky only stopped when he heard the whistle and the referee breaking them apart. Bucky knew that if he didn't stop, he would have to face a penalty of sorts. So he did. But the mental troll has already happened.

The team was taken aback by Bucky's actions once they got out of the lights. They saw him angry after fights before. But this was different. He had lost his mind, and he wasn't willing to talk or tell anybody what happened. And he was getting worse by the second that they had to lock him in the medical room so nobody more would get hurt. They had no clue what to do.

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

So here he was, shame and guilt eating him as you were, once again, showing him kindness he had never encountered before.

"I never wanted you to see that."

"I didn't want you to think that I could hurt you."

"Bucky.."

"I would never hurt you, I swear."

His voice got smaller with each word. It was why he never wanted you anywhere near this. so you wouldn't get scared and run away. So you wouldn't see what he looked like when he lost control. And today, he did, and you saw it.

The opponent's voice is still ringing in his ears. He was ruining you. Everyone could see it. You being here just proved it. Because if it hadn't been for him, you would have never stepped a foot in here. Maybe he was already hurting you.

"Bucky." Tears were starting to form in your eyes. You put the stuff down and put your hand on his cheek.

"You can never hurt me. Never."

It was painful to hear the person who became your source of safety and security, the one you relied on the most, think like this.

"The only person you are hurting is yourself, and I can't stand by and watch." It was time you told him the truth.

"You need to stop living these two versions of yourself. You need to stop hiding from me."

"I love you, Bucky. I love you more than I have loved anything in my life. I knew who you were when we met, and it didn't change anything. I still got to fall in love with you."

"Nothing you do is going to change that. I know you think that I won't be able to handle it, but I will, and I want to know. all of it. Everything."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from me. like you have to be someone else. I love everything about you and everything that made you."

"I want you to be able to share stuff and talk about your day freely without thinking too much about it, without keeping parts that you think I won't like."

"I want to sit in the front row and cheer for my boyfriend as he beats people up. I want to get to brag about my strong man." That brought a small laugh from the both of you.

"Nothing is ever going to make me leave or hate you. Nothing. So whatever you think is going to drive me away, it won't. Never."

You meant every word you said. You didn't want to be in a one-sided relationship where Bucky felt like he couldn't be himself. No, you wanted to be his safe place. You wanted to be the person he came to, and poured his heart out. You wanted to take care of him. You wanted him to let you love him. all of him.

"I love you so much that I won't care if you turn out to be a secret assassin."

"You won't?"

"I will bring you the knives in the kitchens."

Bucky thought he couldn't fall in love with you more than he already was. But he was wrong.

Bucky could feel his eyes getting glassy. All his fears weren't real. You weren't going to run away and leave him. You wanted to do the thing he believed he could never have. You wanted to share his life with him. You were giving him something nobody ever allowed him. to be himself openly.

Bucky never thought he had good luck. It turned out he had all the good luck in you. And he couldn't be happier.

Bucky was glad they called you.

[paper-mario-wiki]

Do you do farm stuff Scout? Or would you like to? Like owning chickens or tending an outdoor garden, that sort of thing?

From ages 7 to 19 I lived on farms, and was made to be an active participant in maintenance and usages of the facilities I don't know why the fuck I'm typing it like this, but I grew up on a farm. I was kinda in charge of everything, but slacked a lot and my brother had to cover for me. That said, I still spent a LOT of time doing chores.

At one point or another I've been responsible for most every farm chore you can really think of. All the basics like raking leaves, milking goats, collecting eggs, feeding chickens- but also the big stuff like moving tons of hay, herding flocks, caring for large animals such as llamas, alpacas, horses, and cows, as well as delivering babies, gutting and plucking fowl (only chickens and turkeys, though I've also cared for ducks and geese), dehoring, hoof cleaning, corpse transportation, crop maintenance, winter ice removal by breaking up frozen water troughs in 10 below weather (thought this was usually circumvented by anticipating the cold and setting up water heaters beforehand), constructing enclosures, slaughtering pigs, and etc etc etc etc etc all that shit. Bunnies snakes mini horses donkeys. All that shit. Farm stuff. Ya know.

Moved away when I went to college and immediately plunged into a mixed-zoning district in the Fushimi district in Kyoto. This was a really good transition from rural living to city living, because mixed zoning districts have blocks dedicated to apartment complexes and family homes right next to blocks of rice fields and ponds, which was behind the 7-Eleven I bought most of my food from.

Now I live in a SHITTY mixed zoning area in SHITTY America where we never stop hearing cars because there's a massive parking lot nearby and constant police sirens, not because the area is particularly dangerous, but because there's like 2 police stations nearby.

My ideal housing goal, which also happens to be my current goal in life, is to reach a slightly more rural version of the Kyoto living situation. The goals are very distinct:

0. I'm editing this one in after the fact to note that while I've used Kyoto as an example a few times in this post, I'm just looking for an area that feels right and would happily live in any prefecture that fits my needs.

I want to not be tied directly to a visa which would draw me away from doing whatever work I really want to do, like my student visa did later on when school started getting worse as professors were struggling to learn digital classroom mechanics. The visa I'm shooting for is dependent on a few ideas I have for businesses, but that's still kind of a long shot.

I want to be in a position of relative financial freedom so that I can spend enough time genuinely living there instead of just being tied to a computer all day, limiting me to the world I already know. This one's the big one, so I'm still workin on that. That said, recently I've been taking some pretty massive steps towards making this a more tangible circumstance. Fingers crossed.

I want to have a home that I own instead of renting, and I'd like to work with a Japanese architect to actually construct it. Again, these are big big plans, but I think a life goal is a thing worth thinking big about. And it's not like I'm trying to build a mansion, or even a family-sized house, I think I'd be content with three bedrooms, a kitchen, and common room. Of course, in keeping with the "dream big" spirit, in a world where I've got enough money to have a nicer, slightly bigger home, I can imagine as many as 5 bedrooms. It's nice to imagine in this "perfect" outcome that I've got a reason to have enough space for guests to sleep over. A local community, or an otherwise tangible, real-world web of relationships would be nice. Like, Real Adult Socializing Shit.

I want to have a significant emphasis on self-reliance on this home. As far solarpunk as I can reasonably go, without biting off more than I can chew as someone who's kinda limp-wristed. In a gay way and a feeble way. I figure this will come down to solar panels, water filtration, a well, and a garden (or at least the space to have gardening stuff like pots and soil). Some chickens would be nice too, but I don't know that I'd ever take on livestock proper.

I want to be properly submerged in trees without being more than a 5 minute bike ride from a train station. Somwhere like Yase-Hieizanguchi Station in north Kyoto is a good example of station that's on the edge of a metropolitan area and the forest. There was an apartment there I almost got, but backed out when covid hit cuz I decided moving across town would be a whack decision.

This is a BONUS goal, but I think it'd also be nice to not compromise on a single location, and instead have a home out in the inaka, while also having a small apartment rented in the city I can go between whenever I need to. In a world where I can afford a plot of land out in the country, but would still need to travel into town for business, that would be nice. Though in that scenario I'd likely need to also take on the arduous task of getting a Japanese drivers license. If I know far enough in advance that I want to take this specific route then I could bypass that last one by getting an international license before moving to Japan, but after moving to Japan you're barred from getting an international license.

I couldn't tell you in honesty that I'm a Salt of the Earth, Red Blooded American Farmer in my heart, and in fact I could not WAIT to move away from the farm. I hated that I didn't have a say in living on a farm, and was made to take care of animals. But what I DID enjoy about that life was the stillness. The opportunities of perfect silence. The stars unobstructed by light pollution. The ability to explore. Those things I was incredibly grateful for. And as such, in my perfect world, I would like to live on something like a farm again one day, just on my own terms.

[t3a-tan]

Ooh! 2 for tiny James and human Oliver? (I'm so curious to see how you'd make that situation happen 😭)

2. “So are you just going to keep me in a jar forever, or…?”

Although it did take a minute to figure out a situation that Oliver might trap James in a jar I had a lot of fun with this one hehe

From this!

-----

Since James had gotten more comfortable around Oliver he had also been getting more reckless.

Oliver could remember the first time the borrower took a leap off of the counter, shouting something about a ‘trust fall’. Thankfully he caught him before he could get injured, but that only spurred the man on more… At first Oliver fretted every time, but soon enough it became like a routine.

After realising that James's reckless behaviour was a sign of his trust in him, Oliver became fond of those sorts of interactions. He could usually tell when James would start being more impulsive like that, and the borrower would also avoid messing around too much if Oliver was trying to focus.

Today Oliver was filling in a bunch of forms, flipping between various files and writing notes down for different referrals. He was focused and a bit tired because of how long it was all taking. Even so, he minimised any distractions so he could dedicate himself to the task at hand.

James didn't get the memo clearly.

Oliver was filling the forms in at the kitchen island, and as he worked and sipped on his cup of tea he was suddenly made aware of James’s presence when the borrower climbed onto the island counter.

“What are you up to, mate?” He asked, curiously, moving closer to the forms and inspecting them with a discerning gaze. Oliver had learned that James wasn't able to read and only recognized certain words and phrases for survival purposes, so it was no wonder he didn't understand what he was doing. Still, Oliver was tired from the repetitive task and trying to focus.

“It's for work.” He responded simply, using his right hand to gently shoo the borrower off of the files, worried that they might get footprints on them and he'd have to reprint the papers and fill them in all over again. Oliver yawned slightly, squinting down at the forms with exhaustion. “Can't chat at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow…?”

James bristled at the sight of the giant hand shooing at him, frowning and raising an eyebrow at the human. He looked tired… Why would he keep working if it's making him tired?

“Maybe you should take a break?” He pointed out, moving closer again, not really seeing the importance in all these papers and words… It couldn't hurt to stop for a bit, could it? Oliver certainly seemed like he needed it.

The human shook his head with a hum, continuing to write undeterred by James's advice. James narrowed his eyes slightly before thinking to himself about how he could get his friend to see reason. It wasn't healthy to just stare at paper for that long, surely… Getting a great idea he smirked to himself, side-stepping towards the edge of the counter closest to where Oliver was sitting, before jumping off.

Oliver snapped awake immediately, jolting and quickly catching James before he could reach the floor, falling back off of the stool in the process. He cupped his hands together around James to shield him, but that left him with no hand to brace his fall. He groaned in pain as he fell onto the hardwood floor, nothing broken, but his body wasn't exactly thanking him either.

“James…” He began with a scolding tone as he opened up his hands, revealing the dishevelled borrower and a cheeky smile on his face. Oliver's heart was still racing from the scare— he thought for a moment that he wouldn't be able to catch him in time. “I almost didn't catch you. Why would you do that?”

“But you did.” James pointed out, much to Oliver's frustration. He didn't have the capacity to deal with stuff like this when he was doing time sensitive work and was already exhausted. James shook off the slightly miffed look in the human's eyes, despite how it made his instincts scream in protest. “And like I said, you need a break. Didn't mean to make you fall though…”

Oliver sat up more with a small groan, his back still aching from the sudden fall.

“I don't have time for a break tonight. I apologise, but you need to leave me to my work.” He managed to retain his composure for the most part, trying to emphasise that he needed to focus. He couldn't focus if James was going to be chucking himself off of every surface, whether he was trying to help or not. He stood up.

“Well if you're not gonna take a break, I guess I'll have to keep jumping off until you do.” James insisted stubbornly, crossing his arms. Oliver squinted at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not because he knew James was a very sarcastic person and he usually didn't pick up on it. With a sigh, he placed James back down on the counter and sat down again.

“If you do that, I'm not against putting you in a jar for the time being whilst I get my work done.” He responded, just in case James was indeed telling the truth. He hoped it would dissuade the borrower, but as he picked his pen up again James did just as he said he would.

Oliver was faster to catch him this time, and even managed to stay seated, but his frown only deepened at the childish behavior his friend was exhibiting. He knew that most borrowers probably lacked an understanding of jobs and how important they were, but he thought James would be at least a little more respectful.

Fine. I did warn him, so he already accepted the consequences beforehand.

Standing up, Oliver walked over to the drawer he kept empty jars in— usually they would be for him to fill with homemade preserves and spices, but tonight they would be filled with a borrower. He pulled one of the taller one's out and placed it onto the counter with a ‘tink’.

“Woah woah— y-you weren't being serious, right Oliver?” James suddenly began to kick at his fingers in protest, but Oliver was too tired to register the very real fear in his friend's movements.

“I’ll let you out when I'm done. It should only take a few hours.” He assured, lowering his hand to the mouth of the jar, tilting it so that James would slide in without any risk of falling and injuring himself. Once he was in the jar Oliver set it down and sat down at the island again, getting to work.

“Oliver! Let me out!” The borrower banged his fists against the glass fruitlessly, panicking slightly at the feeling of being trapped. He can't be serious. He won't actually leave me in here, right?

But as Oliver ignored his shout and picked up his pen, James felt his throat go dry. Oliver was always no nonsense, but he would never go this far… Unless he was actually starting to get sick of him? James sat down at the bottom of the jar silently, watching Oliver write.

After a few hours Oliver didn't let him out— he had fallen asleep at the island counter before finishing, and though James made a few attempts to get him to wake up it didn't work. He was getting more anxious the more time that passed, resigning himself to his fate in the jar for however long Oliver decided to keep him in.

Oliver woke up with his neck aching terribly from the way he had been leaning over and lying his head on the cold hard counter. He yawned, blinking slowly as his surroundings become more clear the more he woke up. Oh. I must have fallen asleep before I finished. What time is it?

He checked his watch, squinting at the numbers. 5:30 AM. That's enough time to finish. He reached towards the pen at his right only to straighten up in surprise at the sight that greeted him. Everything suddenly came rushing back, and Oliver was hit with a wave of guilt as he made eye contact with James, who looked so small huddled in the corner of the jam jar.

“So are you just going to keep me in a jar forever, or…?”

Oliver's eyes widened at the defeated tone James was speaking in, concern furrowing his brows as he leaned down to peer at his friend through the glass, dropping the pen immediately.

“Stars… Of course I'm not, James. I'm sorry, I… I must have fallen asleep.” He shook his head, expression becoming serious although riddled with guilt. “I shouldn't have trapped you in the first place. I wasn't thinking as clearly as I should have been…”

As he reached for the jar he paused again, thinking better of picking James up right now after what he did. He might be scared of me. I would deserve as much…

“Is physical contact okay? Or should I just tilt the jar over?” Part of him was still hopeful that he hadn't broken James's trust enough that he would be uncomfortable with being touched. They had been doing so well after all; Oliver didn't want James to feel like he needed to go back into hiding again… But he would respect it if that was the case.

James seemed to hesitate before averting his gaze guiltily.

“Just…tilt it, please mate.” His voice made it clear that he hadn't slept at all— probably kept awake thinking his friend had suddenly betrayed him.

Oliver nodded slowly and reached forward again, carefully turning the jar so that the borrower could walk out by himself. Once that was done he stood up and put the jar back away in the drawer, gaze lingering on it for a few extra moments.

What does he think of me now?

James watched as Oliver walked around to the other side of the island, staring at his back and thinking to himself. He was still pretty upset about being trapped for so long, and by all means he should be packing up and leaving immediately. But Oliver sounded genuinely remorseful…and honestly, James had never had a friend before. He didn't want to give that up.

He continued to watch as the human sat back down, glancing him up and down for a couple of moments. James took a breath before running and jumping off of the counter, just as he had last night. Please catch me please catch me—

“James!” Oliver's alarmed voice boomed, and James was relieved to feel warm hands close around him. He should feel mortified, but all he could do was smile when he was raised up to his friend's eye level. “I…should I put you down..?” He asked, a hint of nervousness in his furrowed expression.

“Nah.” James replied, patting the thumb beside him. “But you should take that break.”

[yandere--stuck]

I LOVE how you write the Riddler, really soft for a yandere. If you're willing, could you please from the alphabet do D, E and I for him? I'm starving,,, thank you.

Thank you, I'm so glad you like it! Soft yanderes are my favorite <3 hope you like these ^^

---

D - Depraved: Does your yandere have a shrine? (If so, what's on it?)

I don't think Ed is really the type to have a dedicated shrine, though I do think he'd have keepsakes of yours around his work area or on his person. Pictures of you, writings or doodles you may have made that he was able to snatch up (maybe even saved out of the trash), pieces of clothing that he was able to cut or rip off… You know, normal stuff! Little things to sate him while he couldn't be with you.

I can also see him considering the crimes he committed in your names as a sort of ‘shrine to your love’.

E - Erratic: How unpredictable are they? How quick are mood changes?

Ed prefers sticking to plans when it comes to his crimes, but he can be prone to unpredictability when it comes to social interactions, typically. He can be prone to paranoia and reading into things. Inconsequential words or even a change in tone or expression could be suddenly seen as slights or insults against The Riddler, which can lead to explosions of anger and accusations of betrayal towards civilians, the authorities, Batman, or in the latter case, his hired help. 

But with you, Riddler feels at ease. Any paranoia is soothed by your presence. With you, he feels so at ease. So right. His equal. His match. His soulmate! Any desperate need for validation is quelled by you. Even if you argue and fight with him, he'd know it's not anything you have against him - well, not really. It's not your fault you've been lied to! You'll understand that you and he were meant to be after he helps you unlearn all the horrible things the idiots of this city have force-fed you.

After all, if you weren't perfect for one another, why did he feel so safe and secure with you?

I - Intimacy: How intimate are they with their darling?

Ed is so touch-starved it's not even funny. He never wanted to be separated from you! Be prepared to be basically smothered in affection. Hugging, cuddling, nuzzling, smothering you in kisses - everything he's missed out on, he wants to finally make up for. All his time spent waiting for the perfect partner is finally worth it now that you're here! And as stated above, he won't get angry if you don't reciprocate. You're just confused, it's okay. 

Any attempts at fighting him or cursing him out will just lead to him cooing to you condescendingly as he ties you up in restraints so you can calm down… Though, he may not be able to hold back from being affectionate before you're done with your time-out. He just adored you so much! You know, exposure therapy is a very effective treatment for aversions, and this would be the perfect opportunity to show how wrong all those fools in this cesspool of a city were.

[seungiepop]

𝑵𝒐 𝑵𝒖𝒕 𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓

L number one pt 2

pairing: enha x best friend reader

characters: all enha members, Shin Yuna (itzy), Choi Beomgyu (TXT), and Mark lee (NCT)

caution: sexual context (only implied on the legal line), cursing, the reader is an 03’ line with sunoo and yuna

genre: social media au and one shots

wc: 1.2k

L number one p1

Masterlist | previous | next

ⓝⓝⓝ

Heeseung stepped into the warm apartment, the smell of fresh baked goods roamed in his scent. Walking through the crowded hallway towards the kitchen he saw Y/n cutting up some fruit “Hey pretty girl!”

“Hee! You scared me!”

“Sorry angel.”

“The Vacuum is in the closet down the hall.” she tells him, placing down the knife and wiping her hands with the kitchen cloth.

He nodded his head walking back to the hallway quickly grabbing the cleaning device, walking back to the kitchen. Taking a good look at her he was quick to notice how skimpy her outfit was, the small sleeping shorts with the loose tank top, obvious that she didn’t bother to put on a bra. “So I uh notice Mark and Gyu walking out?” Clearing his throat, pulling out the stool across from her. “Oh yeah! They were playing the game but Mark got a call from Sun that their espresso machine broke.” she huffed, placing a piece of strawberry in her mouth.

“Yikes! the new one?”

She nodded head “Yup, poor Sunoo sounded so done.” she chuckles, placing some of the fruit in a small bowl.”You want some?” gesturing to the fruit. He nodded signaling her to get closer, with a small smile she walked around the counter standing a little closer to him than she normally does.

Y/n had this all planned, knowing how much he loved when it came to her feeding him any type of food. Picking a piece of the fruit she gestured to him to open up to feed him. She watched the way his plump lips wrapped around the silverware and humming at the sweet taste bursting in his mouth.

Fuck how does she make a piece of watermelon taste sweeter than it is?

“S’good” he swallowed

She smiled, glad that he enjoyed it. “Have a strawberry, they’re very juicy and delicious”.

Taking a bit of the red fruit she was feeding his way, he felt a bit of the fruit juice drip on the side of his lips. “Shit-” he pulled back about to wipe his lips off but was stopped “here let me get that for you” she whispered wiping the juice with her thumb making sure he was looking right at her before sucking it off her thumb.

Heeseung cursed to himself, watching the way her glossy lips wrapped around her thumb to suck off the excess juice. Biting his lip he placed a hand on hip pulling her to stand in between his now spread legs “You know, I was really sad that you chose to study with your college friends instead of hanging out with us.” she pouted, wrapping his hoodie string around her finger pulling him even closer so their faces were now inches away from each other.

Heeseung cooed at her expression “I'm sorry doll, but school has really been kicking my ass with finals and stuff that I really haven't been able to go out with.”

Y/n nodded her head understanding, she truly admired him for dedicating so much of his time towards his studies. “You seem really stressed-'' she hummed carefully, running her fingers through his hair and slightly messaging his scalp. Heeseung felt himself lean into her touch, her hands were like magic or something he could bust a whole nut just from her head scratches. His mind was turning into mush “-is there anything I could do to help let out all that tension?”

Why can I feel this on my dick?

“Huh?”

She chuckled at his droopiness “Does that feel good seungie?”

“Mhm..”

Her fingers are fucking magic

“Come on, let's go to the couch, you can relax better over there.”

Taking his hand she led him to the living room, telling him to take a seat before heading back to the kitchen to grab the bowl of her fruit.

“You should take your hoodie off seungie. I turned on the heater not too long before you arrived.” Gesturing to the hood he had on. Making a move Y/n leaned closer to help him remove the piece of clothing, her fingers lightly grazing over the tone muscle of his stomach.

Fuck

He was wearing a plain white shirt, it was so simple yet he made it look good. “You look so tired..” she frowns,

the bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever. Y/n truly wondered if he even gets the right amount of sleep every night. “Don’t worry about me pretty-“ he smiled cupping her cheek with his palm “-i’m fine.” His eyes looked down at her lips, he kissed those lips so many times yet something about the fruit made them look so irresistible.

Y/n inspected his handsome face, his slender nose, brown bambi shaped eyes just looking at her with something she couldn’t read between lust and admiration maybe? Who knows but she loved it.

“Kiss me seungie.”

He didn’t need to be told twice pulling her by the waist his lips connecting with hers. She couldn’t contain the smile that broke out, her hands cradling her face to deepen the kiss. Heeseung couldn’t help himself she needed to be closer

His lips trailed down to her neck, smirking as the noises leaving her lips began to increase. His lips felt like heaven on her neck, the way he sucked harshly yet ran his tongue over the forming bruise sending shivers down her spine. Letting out a breathless giggle she trailed her hand down to his crotch, feeling his bulge harden under her touch.

Heeseung groaned as she continued to palm him through his sweats when was the last time i even nutted? he wondered feeling himself almost cum from her light touches. It truly has been so long since Heeseung has fucked someone properly, is it even worth it lasting a whole month when he hasn’t gotten a single orgasm in four? (not counting his hand).

fuck this bet

I need to get laid

it’s been way too long

Heeseung's grip on her hair tightened, pulling her up against his sweaty chest, his hips slapping against her ass. The new angle makes her eyes rolling back at the new sensation of pleasure, she’s never felt this type of pleasure when it came to anybody. Her tight pussy felt so good wrapped around him, the warm tight feeling of her gummy walls just sucking him in perfectly he was so gone of the pleasure that he had almost forgotten about the bet.

“Hee- faster please!” she whimpered out.

Eyes screwing as he sped up his thrust, the tight pit feeling of her orgasm building up in the pit of her stomach just threatening to snap.

No wonder Chenle spoke so highly of her

Heeseung stop that’s disgusting

Just the thought of their ex-friend alone pissed him off so much he let go of the grip he had on her hair and turned her over so she was now facing him. Sitting back on the couch Heeseung held her hips thrusting in and out of her. Her legs began to shake as the soreness took over her body, almost about to give up. But Heeseung grabbed her by the waist thrusting upwards, hitting her spot every time. Her vision began to blur as the pit tightened with each thrust of his cock.

“I'm cumming, I'm cumming!” she let out the loudest moan of the night as her body shook out of pleasure, her walls spasming around his cock.

He cursed as her orgasm triggered his, he thrust into her a few more times before pulling out, admiring their juices mixed together.

$1200 down the drain

∙ ₒ✰. ∙✧. ∘ ₒ® ✦. ✰∙ ★ ∘ₒ © ∙ ₒ ✰ ∙ ✧ ∘ₒ ® ✦ ✰

Authors note: Here is the long awaited “L number one” part 2. I apologize for making you guys wait so long, it was supposed to be posted two days ago but something came up but here you guys go! Hope you guys enjoy <3

taglist- @ilovecheese09 @namdeyuoi @moonshoon @xrr-s4sha @yannew @cup1dton @eternallyreid @heewonenthusiast @rikisly @parkhonnie @wvnkoi @slugism @yizhoutv @jakewife @bahngchatsfx @kangseulgithegreat @jinnisbaby @heeseungshim @wonswondrland @underneaththestarlight @theskzvibe @enhaz1 @kkaelie @firstclassjaylee @wonniie3 @lol6sposts

[gracemain919]

What if Obsession themself was also obsessed with a leader- but only one? What would the other leaders do?

(The Fungus Universe)

Tw: Yandere, mentions of sexual themes(if you squint)

Truly an unexpected event. You suddenly carrying on some corrupted traits or just overall naturally becoming obsessed was not something any of them expected. Especially the Liar. He had everything ‘written’. Expected every outcome and now you are starting to act like a very mild version of them… Good riddance.

Well no matter what they think or desire, sharing will happen either way. They need you, so you will still be tossed around the site but probably less often. Depends on the Leader. Some might drown in rage, some might not care as much *cough cough* Lair, *cough cough*.

How they react if they’re chosen:

The Liar: Even if this is unexpected he won’t throw away such opportunities. If you want to always be with him then you can stay in the darkness he calls his ‘home’, but he won't be greedy. Not because he is merciful, but because he cares more about his power and team than your wants and needs. You can survive without him for a little while, right? You will. Even if he is just lying directly to your face.

Poison: Oh my, aren't you such a joyful little thing? So happy to see her experiment. So excited and willing to kiss her until her already burned lips ache. Her workers would be more thankful for your common occurances since if their leader is happy then they will probably not be punished so often… Poison is very pleased and truly enjoys your presence but her closeness to the Liar might influence her decision to share you with the others. She can't keep you to herself all the time.

The Cannibal: It’s Impressive. Johnson had forgotten the true scale of how many ways he could be hurt. The surface now being covered in blood he has been enjoying being with you day and night. You seem to enjoy having him around too, especially while carving your own name into his flesh. Go on, carve it in his tongue next.

Share? Why would he do that?

Doppelganger: Come on dear. Watch him, applaud him. Keep that beautiful rhythm.

“Hey Liar! I'm the favorite and you're outdated trash! HA!”

Saying he’s happy is an understatement. Your odd and overbearing joy for his shows and entire being really was the thing he needed. The thing he craved. From one insane to another(even if you're not corrupted) he will keep you by his side. Even letting you appreciate the most mundane stuff he does. You are perfect just like that.

He might share willingly, probably to the Illusionist and Priest. The others have to pry you from his grasp.

The Illusionist: They are so happy. You always checking up on them to the point you just stay in their domain for days at a time. Your joyful face as they show you their new ‘nursery’ of larvae or the way you approve and even endorse their questions… gosh the heart they don't have is melting. From what they were told you wouldn't be able to show the same dedication as them. Glad to see they were wrong.

Why is the Doppelganger acting so cold towards them now? Are they mad? Oh no… Maybe they should not keep you with them all the time.

The Eye in the Sky: Great, you are fed, you are safe. He has been able to get so much done since you started staying on the security floor. Staying right at his side watching him defile the toughest security programs in a few clicks. No need to watch you when you're literally in his vicinity.

It benefits his work greatly, but he can't say he doesn't enjoy your lingering touches as he focuses on his computer screen. As you whisper in his ear testing his own will. Maybe his work can wait for just a moment. Wouldn't you like that?

He won't share. He is so much more effective with you by his side since he doesn't need to keep an eye on you.

The Priest: You want to sell your soul to him? How did you figure that out? Why would you even let him take something that is so precious?

Will he deny that? No. To finally literally own you… he can't say he hasn't dreamt of something like that.

You can stay in the Sanctuary as long as you like even if you sell your soul or not. If you remain clueless and don't know he is the devil then he will keep you blind… keep you with him as long as you let him.

Rose will be happy, he will be happy… everything will be fine. If the others want a bite then they will have to get it themselves since he ain't sharing.

(might make a more detailed one where the Leaders are not the chosen, maybe, maybe not. Idk)

[konigsblog]

ORLLLAAAAAAA

It's me again from the other anon with the research and stuff.

Guess yall both have been in a pickle recently.

https://www.tumblr.com/captainslayahoe/752093075218874368/woke-up-to-a-bakers-dozen-worth-of-hate-messages?source=share

Any thoughts?

honestly, i couldn't care less for their apology. to analyse someone and make multiple lengthy posts about them is extremely strange and creepy, it's harassment, i've asked to be left alone because not once have i ever gone out of my way to harass a random person online. i wouldn't sit there and make an analysis on a random person simply because of the fictional content they produce.

i didn't need 84 paragraphs dedicated to me (not including the post that you linked, but the other three posts they had created). i've had people make countless posts about me, talk shit about me nonstop, send me death/rape/doxxing threats all because of the content i write, and they think i care for their opinion and apology? it's the same shit i deal with every month, sometimes even multiple times.

i don't care if you don't like my work, that's perfectly fine. i'm asking for basic respect, for people to stop harassing writers online. it really shows your maturity when you can't handle someone creating content that isn't made for you specifically.

i have better things to be doing with my life than arguing with people online over fantasies. i don't care for what a minor thinks of the content i write because it's clearly stated that it's not written for them. i've given warnings and i've explained how to prevent coming across triggering content, and in return, these people refuse to acknowledge that they can filter out certain content and continue to harass me over and over again, ‘til i have no choice but to turn off my askbox because it's getting ridiculous.

and i'd like to add, if you have sent this person (or anyone who has created a hateful post about me) a hate message or have threatened them, just know that you're not any better, i don't appreciate it at all. i don't need a bunch of people to go out onto someone's blog to send threats and be disgusting towards random people online. at the end of the day, i simply don't care. i'll continue to write dark fiction, because it's my blog. their opinions aren't valued or important to me, because i don't know them or care to know them. 🤷‍♀️

[totowlff]

a thirsty tuesday

➝ producing content for mercedes' social media is always a challenge, especially given the demand. however, having a desired boss is always a good asset.

➝ word count: 1,8k

➝ warnings: implied sexual acts, a lot of second-hand embarassment, boss-employee dynamics

➝ author’s note: well, it's been a long time since i was last here. unfortunately, i didn't have more time to dedicate myself the way i would like to my stories. however, i feel stronger and safer to come back here and continue writing. i hope you still want to read it.

— Y/N, this is completely ridiculous — Toto said, looking up from the sheet in his hand towards your face. His expression was serious, skepticism written in the way he raised his eyebrows at you.

You gave a smile, feeling a little embarrassed to be presenting that content idea to him. After recording a video analyzing the most striking images of the ten years he was at the head of the team, the idea was that he would react to some tweets that the marketing team had selected.

In this case, you.

— That's what our audience cares about, Toto.

— Are you serious? They want to see me reading — he hesitated, looking down at the paper again — Thirsty tweets?

— Sure, why do you think I would suggest that?

Toto sighed. He was definitely upset.

— I could fire you, you know? — the team principal murmured, the shadow of a smile on his face.

— You would never do that — you replied, full of confidence.

 — How can you be so sure?

— Because, without me, you only speak bullshit.

He laughed. That was an indisputable fact: without you by his side, Toto simply lost his filters, especially in front of the microphones. The images of you elbowing the team principal in the arm when he started a sentence that would probably generate thousands of clicks on specialized sites, as well as rude responses from other team bosses.

— Okay, you got a good point — Toto said, crossing his arms. Your eyes flickered for a few seconds to the veins that were prominent over his skin, before looking into his brown eyes again.

— So, let’s do it?

— Yeah. But if you have any bullshit…

— Toto, anything that isn't business or lap times is classified as bullshit for you.

— Well, bigger bullshit. I don't want my kids to see this and think I'm weird.

— It's easier for them to think the people who wrote these stuff weird — you muttered, as you took the sheet from his hand. Toto raised a suspicious eyebrow.

— Now I'm really worried about doing this, Y/N.

— It's going to be alright, now, sit there and just be a lovely person.

— I'm always a lovely person.

— Yeah, Christian Horner agrees with you — you said, laughing, as you walked to Stephen's side, who looked less than pleased with the camera angle. After requesting changes and having Toto sit on a bench so that half of his head wasn't cut off in the image, you handed over the sheets of printed tweets, asking him not to peek at the tweets.

— What if I peek?

— You’ll ruin everyone's recording day — you replied.

— That would be a shame — he muttered, giving her a mischievous little smile.

— Indeed. But I'm sure you'll be a good boy.

You had the impression that Toto had blushed, but you didn't have time to point that out before Stephen asked you to leave the set to start filming. After a few more instructions, he signaled that he was recording.

— Hi, I'm Toto Wolff and today, I'm going to read… What is it again?

— Thirsty tweets — you said, rolling your eyes.

— Oh yeah, thirsty tweets — he said, grinning at the camera. The image caused something strange to spread inside your chest.

After repeating the take twice more, Toto finally caught the first tweet, reading it silently for a few seconds, eyes widening.

— Out loud, Toto.

— I'm not going to read this, Y/N.

— You will — you yelled, from behind the camera.

— But it's ridiculous — he exclaimed.

— You said you'd read it, you'll read it.

Sighing, the team principal paused for a few seconds before reading what was on the sheet.

— "I don't even know how, but I want to suck Toto Wolff's arms".

— What do you think?

— Well, ridiculous.

— People like your arms — you said — Doesn't it make you happy?

— They’re arms.

— But they are pretty arms.

He blinked.

— Do you think my arms are pretty? — Toto questioned.

Your face heated up. You definitely weren't ready for that question.

— Doesn't matter, go to the next one.

He chuckled before looking down at the sheet in his hands.

— “Toto Wolff could come up to me, punch me in the face for any reason and, honestly, I would probably apologize to him” — Toto read, looking up at you — Well, I would never hit anyone, so I'm really sorry.

— Not even if they asked? — you asked in a teasing tone.

— I'm too polite a man for that.

— Too bad — you laughed — Next.

— “I would call Toto Wolff daddy in front of my own dad”. I just hope my kids never do this, it must be extremely embarrassing.

You couldn't hold back a laugh at that comment.

— I thought you didn't want them to watch this video.

— And they won't watch it, I'm sure of it — Toto replied, laughing — Imagine them watching their father reading things like “I'd let Toto break my back like a glowstick”?

— I would think it's cool. In fact, I'm thinking it's cool.

— Of course you do, you chose these tweets.

— Could you go on? — you asked, making him move on to the next sheet.

— “Me: I watch Drive To Survive for the content. The content: Toto Wolff”. We can't deny that I bring content to this series, can we?

— So much content that I spent almost a month listening to people asking me to change my car if I had a problem with it.

— Did Checo say it was fucked? — he asked with a mischievous smile.

— I think I'm going to have to speak to my drivers about that — you replied, chuckling — Go on to the next one.

— “I want my juice box to be Toto Wolff's new pillow” — he read, raising an eyebrow — But what's a juice box?

— Vagina — Stephen muttered, before realizing everyone was staring at him, Toto with a particularly shocked expression — What? I lived in the States, they say that, is a slang.

— Okay, I really didn't expect that — the team principal muttered — Did you know that, Y/N?

— No — you replied, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Of course you knew what it meant, you weren't an idiot. Besides, you knew it was going to surprise him. You just didn't expect him to look so shocked — But, are you surprised?

— I didn't expect something so — Toto hesitated for a few seconds — Explicit.

— Then you'll love the next ones.

Passing the sheet, you noticed the team principal's face turn red.

— Y/N, I can't say that.

— You can, I checked with our legal team.

— Y/N…

— Read it now.

— “I want Toto Wolff to destroy my insides” — he said, before looking up at you — This is awful.

— Well, it's what you do to them.

Toto stared at the sheet for a few seconds.

— I'm feeling flattered right now — he said, in a sort of sarcastic way.

The film crew erupted in laughter as the team boss looked at you, who shook your head.

— Well, let's go on — he said, moving on to the next page — "Toto Wolff is so hot, I want to have his babies”. Unfortunately it won't be possible, I stopped at the second one. But if I may say so, both my children are very beautiful so I take great pride in that.

— Actually, Rosi is adorable.

— Thanks to her mom's genes — Toto answered you, before moving on to the next tweet — “My sexuality is Toto Wolff”. I'm pretty sure there's no TW in the LGBTQIA+ acronym, but…

— Maybe it's been updated? — you suggested.

— I need to talk to the Racing Pride people about this — he said, smiling — Well, I think that's the last one, “The best part of working at Mercedes is saying 'yes, sir' to Toto. I will not elaborate”.

You couldn't help but smile when he looked up at you.

— I believe there are other advantages to working at Mercedes, but I pride myself on being a good boss — Toto said, before ending the video with one of those smiles that made your chest warm.

While the crew set up the studio for the recording with Lewis, which would take place in half an hour, you and Toto headed back to his office. The team leader had already removed the microphone that was attached to his shirt and was reading something intently on the phone before handing it to you. Inside the room, he walked around the pale wood table and stopped beside the chair.

— It was kind of fun recording — Toto said, bringing his hands to his chest and undoing the top button of his shirt — I thought this thirsty tweets thing was going to be a lot worse.

Your eyes dropped to his fingers, which deftly parted the shirt, revealing the firm muscles beneath.

— Well, I'm glad you like it — you managed to reply, your mouth dry as the fabric slid down his arms. You had seen him topless before, but the feeling was always the same. The heat in your face, the tingling in your belly, the heavier heartbeat in your chest.

— But, I have a question about a thing — he continued, grabbing the baby blue shirt he was wearing before the shoot and putting it on — That last tweet…

— Yeah?

— Did you write it?

You swallowed hard.

— All tweets were posted by real users, Toto…

— But the last one is yours.

— Of course not…

— Y/N, you know I follow you, right?

You blinked, staring at the team leader in disbelief.

— You don’t have…

— Yes I do. I use it to observe things, see what people are saying, these things — Toto replied, while closing the last buttons of his shirt — I follow Lewis, George, Mick, Jonathan from engineering, Kawka and I followed your account recently. I recognized the profile picture even though it was blurry on the printed sheet.

— I apologize profusely about this, Toto…

He laughed.

— No problem, Y/N…

— It's completely inappropriate to say that kind of thing on the internet, and what's more, considering you read…

— Y/N, it's okay — he cut her off as he put on his blazer — You seem like a lot of fun outside the office.

— You think so?

  I do. Although I have a question about that tweet.

— What would it be?

— Would you mind elaborating on why that's the best part of your job?

You felt your cheeks heat up.

— Is like I’ve said, I won't elaborate, Toto.

— Not even at dinner this Friday?

Your mind short-circuited, your mouth opening slightly.

You were sure this was a hallucination.

— Are you asking me out?

— Yeah — he replied, his voice full of confidence — What do you think?

“Yes, say yes, yes!”, someone screamed in the back of your mind, while you stared at him.

— With a condition.

— Which is?

— No pizza — you said — Every time we have dinner, you insist on having pizza and still complain about my order.

— Of course, you like that atrocity with pineapple…

— Just don't eat.

— It's still disgusting, Y/N — he said — But, okay, no pizza. Do you accept?

— Yeah, sure — you answered, feeling butterflies in your stomach.

[overleftdown]

farleigh analysis PART 3, because i might as well do the entire movie at this point. i'm locked in. this is going to cover the early-saltburn summer era. AKA, oliver's once in a lifetime, hand job on a haybale, golden big boy summer. everything after venetia and oliver's sex scene is in another post on my blog. this one is pretty short.

[0:34:42] (they're watching superbad. teehee.)

farleigh looks borderline revolted in the background of this shot, which is so funny to me. superbad is, in my opinion, notoriously rude. the comedy is hollow, childish, homophobic, etc. even seth rogan admits that the movie is tone deaf and aged horribly. that's neither here nor there, though. all i'm saying is that i can't imagine farleigh would enjoy the movie as a queer person.

[0:35:19] elsbeth: is that right, he had to put his fingers down his mother's throat to make her sick? farleigh: yeah. felix: farleigh, that's private stuff! farleigh: well, you told us. felix: in confidence!

when elsbeth initially asks the question, she's looking directly at farleigh. yet, when felix confronts farleigh about discussing private matters, farleigh responds with "well, you told us." meaning the family, i assume. felix had no issue with elsbeth and pamela discussing oliver's home life until farleigh was very moderately involved. it's odd to me. and yes, felix is the one that told them. moral superiority, or something. having someone to blame, even when you enabled their gossiping in the first place.

[0:35:34] elsbeth: we should give him the most wonderful time! farleigh: good luck, he doesn't smile much. elsbeth: farleigh seems to think he's ghastly. why are you friends with him, darling?

really, you can tell that elsbeth likes farleigh. she respects his opinion to a certain extent. i also talked about the tutor scene in part 2, and how i consider the "style over substance" debate a metaphorical parallel to farleigh over oliver. here, farleigh once again points out the style of oliver's social interactions: he doesn't smile much. when you look at this from a social and... neurotypical perspective, lacking a smile during conversation can mean a lot of negative things. farleigh seems to have a dedicated focus on arbitrary social expectations, largely because he has to.

[0:35:33] farleigh: and here he is now! we were just talking about you. elsbeth: don't be silly! farleigh, you just make up the most awful things. of course we weren't!

once again, in traditional catton fashion, farleigh is scolded for saying doing something that contrasts the cattons saviorism. obviously oliver knew they were talking about them. i can't blame elsbeth for attempting to backtrack, but "farleigh, you just make up the most awful things" is a weirdly unnecessary throat punch. she's stepping on farleigh to appear taller, if you will. at 0:36:34, when elsbeth asks oliver to sit by her, farleigh looks so exceptionally irritated. he rolls his eyes, looks back towards his computer, and sighs dramatically. wonderful. he's so sick and tired.

[0:37:20] elsbeth: i've lost so many friends to addiction. so, so many dear, dear friends. it's the root of poor pamela's horrors too, i'm afraid. farleigh: and the only interesting thing about her. elsbeth: farleigh! no, she is rather dull, actually. but she's so beautiful. you have to admit, she's very beautiful.

elsbeth and her obsession with physical appearances. once again, style over substance. and her outrage at farleigh refusing to soften the blow on his statements, before following it with her own (albeit less crude) dig at pamela. style over substance. wouldn't it a little uncanny, a little scary, to be the only person of color in a household that places physical appearance on such a high pedestal? especially a household as ignorant as the cattons. that's just conjecture, though. oliver has the ability to manipulate a space for himself in the family without sacrificing any of the qualities he began with. he never really smiles more, throughout the summer. he never really loses his signature awkwardness, his imposing energy.

[0:40:05] elsbeth: you know we're delighted to have you for however long it is you mean to stay. farleigh: forever...? pamela: oh, no. i think i might have, erm, found somewhere. elsbeth: oh, well done, darling! james: oh, good!

right after james says "good," you can see farleigh turning to look at him. prompting james to drop the hatchet on pamela's prolonged stay at saltburn, i'm assumng. this is what's interesting to me, i think. again, farleigh lacks the drive to play the same game as oliver. farleigh doesn't want to nurture the charitable actions of the cattons. farleigh believes the other guests at saltburn take up the space that he would otherwise fill. just like at oxford, when felix is sitting with someone else, farleigh is discarded. when elsbeth invited oliver to sit next to her, farleigh looks annoyed. the cattons capacity for attention and kindness is depressingly small. farleigh isn't playing chess, he's trying to win by sheer survival of the fittest.

for the next few, brief scene of farleigh and oliver interacting, oliver repeatedly proves that he does his research. i can't get over it, to be honest. neither can farleigh; if looks could kill, oliver would've been dead within 10 minutes of arriving at saltburn. the methods farleigh and oliver uses to remain relevant in the catton catalogue are so wildly different. farleigh, who uses his personality and social skills to keep the cattons entertained and charmed by him. i'm sure he loves to gossip with elsbeth, wine and dines with venetia, and he clearly does everything in his power to stay glued to felix's side throughout the school year. this is someone who has never considered manipulating the cattons; he just wants to be one of them, and he wants it to be easy. can you blame him?

[noodledesk]

been doing some new year planning, so thought i should document a little and share how i like to plan out my years :) MUCH more detail under the cut 🌱💗 and a free template here if you like to use notion for this stuff!

overview 🌱

there are a couple of principles behind why i do this kind of yearly planning in one spot:

awareness — keeping yourself accountable for the goals you set at the beginning of the year

documentation — writing down stuff you’ve done so you can see what progress youve made towards goals. fun to look at

planning — makes it easier to plan your weeks and to be more intentional with how you’re spending time and enjoying life

how it works ✨

my yearly pages are sorted into a "goals" section, and a "records" section. one is forward looking, one is reflecting on stuff that's happened. i usually revisit this page at least once a month.

It doesn't have to be on Notion, but I prefer using a digital tool so things are easy to access. Paper-based is totally fine -- whatever works for you. The main point is to have a structure. Additionally, I don't really need to accomplish my goals, as long as I'm working towards them. However, setting ambitious goals for myself helps me make progress, and gets me excited about working towards them :)

goals 🌻

Whenever I have an idea of something I want to do, I put it down as a goal in this database. But my rule for myself is that, at any given time, I can only have five goals that I can focus on. I give myself double that amount as goals to maintain, to work towards them but without dedicating as much time to them. Then I have idle goals that I want to keep in my head and to work towards when I have the time and energy to, but otherwise don't make any real plans towards them.

After setting my goals (which are not time-bound, i.e. I don't have a specific deadline to achieve them), I set yearly milestones for the ones I want to focus on. These have an end-of-year deadline, and must be measurable so I can work towards them in a tangible way. Then I break the goal into 12 parts, so I have a measurable milestone to work towards each month. Each month, I look at my goal and divide it into weeks, so I know what I'd like to accomplish that week. I keep it pretty open-ended and flexible because life happens and is unpredictable.

I have other goals that I don't focus on as much. They're still important to me, but I want to prioritize the others. To avoid procrastinating and thinking about goals instead of working towards them, I've decided to keep it simple this year.

records ✍️

the next section is about writing things that made the year good — it’s a joy to look back on them every time i open the page and reminds me that there is a lot of joy in every day life, beyond just accomplishing stuff. every month i usually write down what i can think of under the following areas (keeping a diary helps for this):

i’m glad for: people, experiences, accomplishments, things, game changers — things that made your year really awesome

things i’ve been obsessed with — makes it fun to look at the things that took up a lot of your brain space

important things i learned & mistakes i made — for your realizations, understandings. over a year you’ll see how you’ve grown and changed.

that's pretty much it! hope it helps :)