#it's not like I'm gonna be able to sleep in 40 minutes in any way that fucking matters anyways

[boyapologist]

you know what. I'm just gonna get ready. this is stupid

[anna1306]

The Lost Boys Incorrect Quotes

Part 2, because I like it

Part 1 here

Paul after trying Dwayne's cooking: If this sauce was a person, I'd get naked and make love to it!

Marko: Well, I am stunned!

Nobody:

Marko: Just stunned!

Literally nobody:

Marko: Stunned is the only way to describe how... stunned I am!

David: Just a minute, just a minute, Marko. Are you trying to tell us... That you are stunned?

Paul: You got nothing to fear, but fear itself.

Laddie: ...

Paul: And, of course, the boogeyman.

Dwayne: There is no such word as that.

Marko: There certainly is.

Dwayne: Disdam is not a word. You made it up.

Marko: It's a word!

Dwayne: Fine. Use it in a sentence.

Marko: You are no good at disdam game!

Marko: Paul, let's go!

Paul: *sleeps*

Marco: Come on, Paul. Let's go!

Paul: *still sleeps*

Marko, imitating woman voice: Paul, wake up, my husband will be home any minute.

Paul: *wide awake*

David: This is strictly off the record, but Michael is nearly five years younger than I am.

Dwayne: In what, David, dog years?

Paul, excited about his new date: However, I have decided to overlook that minor detail and succumb to the Vesuvius of passion that is about to erupt from me.

Marko: Stand back. We're gonna get something on us.

Paul: For the first time in my life I feel over 40.

David: Because you are over 70.

After fight with the hunters

Dwayne: *pulls arrow from Marko*

Marko: OW! OW! OH!

Nervous Paul: Did that hurt?

Marko: No, I'm singing rock-'n'-roll.

When Star comes to visit

David: So, did you bring the young chippy with you?

Dwayne: David, come on, you are talking about her husband.

Star: Thanks.

Dwayne: So, did you bring the himbo?

Grown Laddie: This reminds me of when I was little. You used to tell me bedtime stories .

Paul: Oh yeah, yeah. The Bogeyman and the little boy.... The Zombie in the hamper.... Cannibal parents...

Laddie: I don't believe I had more than two hours of sleep in that time.

David: I love all the members of my coven.

Star: Even Paul?

David: Sure. But don't tell him. He'll wanna borrow money

Marko: I decided to give every one of you a gift, hope you will like it!

David: But these are my gloves, I thought I lost them at the Boardwalk.

Marko: I told you that you lost them. They matched this crop-top.

Paul: This is my crop-top!

Marko: I know, it goes great with...

Dwayne: My leather jacket.

Marko: Well, enjoy! *happily walking away*

Paul: I wonder if he has seen my leather belt.

Dwayne: You know I haven't been able to find my flag...

David: Come on, it's time to go search his nest again.

Dwayne to Star: Honey, beware of anyone who says "No calories", "Absolutely no charge", and "Let's just lie down on the bed and watch tv".

Michael, leaving: Well, I'm off!

David: Totally.

[pyxy-styx]

1-100 you did this to yourslef

You're right, I did to this to myslef.

1. What's your middle name? Gonna change it to Parker eventually. Right now, it's the maiden name of a dead grandparent I never met and have no attachment to.

2. How old are you? 59 (18)

3. What is your birthday? October

4. What is your zodiac sign? Libra

5. What's your favorite color? Purple

6. What's your lucky number? Don't have one, if had to pick, probably 10

7. Do you have any pets. Three cats, a dog, and a bearded dragon.

8. Where are you from? Jupiter, I came to earth to rob people and ended up stuck here

9. How tall are you? At least 5' 5"

10. What shoe size are you? Good question

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Four I think?

12. What was your last dream about? Another good question. I have no idea, I only remember the really bizarre ones

13. What talents do you have? I'm fairly decent at piano when I'm actually able to play

14. Are you psychic in any way? We're gonna go with no

15. Favorite song? Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

16. Favorite movie? Legally Blonde today

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh what a shame, someone played the Uno skip card and I can't answer this question

18. Do you want children? Yes and no

19. Do you want a church wedding? Only if I get to kiss a girl in front of my grandma and my dad officiates

20. Are you religious? Kind of??

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Unfortunately for my parents, yes. I am currently the not-so-proud owner of the Most Hospital Trips in Two Months award in my house

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? Got the cops called on us a few times because our downstairs neighbors, who knowingly moved into a place with kids btw, were pissed that we acted like kids and ran around a bunch

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Loads, we used to go to conventions a lot. There's pictures and autographs somewhere

24. Baths or showers? Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? None right now but usually black

26. Have you ever been famous? Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? In theory yes, but unfortunately people suck, so no

28. What type of music do you like? We rotate between multiple genres, pop and goth are the top two

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I'm not gonna go count

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach but I can't do that without dying right now and it sucks

32. How big is your house? Please don't make me do math

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal or whatever leftovers sound good

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, I suck at it

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes, I suck at it

36. Favorite clean word? Dystopia, it sounds pretty

37. Favorite swear word? Damn

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without asleep? Two days

39. Do you have any scars? Yes and literally none of them have a cool story. They're all from me being clumsy

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Nope

41. Are you a good liar? Depends on who I'm talking to

42. Are you a good judge of character? Ehhhh

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do a few, they're not the best though

44. Do you have a strong accent? You can tell I'm from America

45. What is your favorite accent? Probably Scottish

46. What is your personality type? Idk

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably the Technoblade merch

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep

49. Are you an innie or an outie? What on earth does this mean

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Only when they're touching me, they're okay otherwise

52. Favorite food? Pasta

53. Favorite foreign food? Thai coconut soup

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both

55. Most used phrase? Probably "what the fuck"

56. Most used word? Funky

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Like five minutes, thirty if I'm doing makeup or hair

58. Do you have much of an ego? Oh yeah

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yep

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yepyep

62. Are you a good singer? I like to think so but probably not

63. Biggest fear? Drowning

64. Are you a gossip? Nope

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Does My Girl Count??

66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair

67. Can you name all 50 states in America? Nope

68. Favorite school subject? English

69. Extrovert or introvert? Yes

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope

71. What makes you nervous? Everything

72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I try to sometimes

74. Are you ticklish? Unfortunately

75. Have you ever started a rumor? If I have I wasn't aware of it

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Kinda

77. Have you ever drank underage? Cooking wine and shitty beer are disgusting

78. Have you ever done drugs? Yeppers

79. Who was your first real crush? I have no clue

80. How many piercings do you have? None

81. Can you roll your Rs? In my accent? No. In other accents? Yes

82. How fast can you type? Fast enough it's illegible if I'm not careful

83. How fast can you run? I have no idea

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color are your eyes? Gray

86. What are you allergic to? The medicine they give you for strep throat. I'm not figuring out how to spell that shit

87. Do you keep a journal? Nope, I had to stop because my older sister kept reading my old one

88. What do your parents do? Mother dearest works at Walmart and Dad stays at home

89. Do you like your age? It's alright ig

90. What makes you angry? That is unfortunately a very long list

91. Do you like your own name? It's quite nice

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they? I have not, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it

93. Do you want a boy or girl child? I quite honestly don't care. A kid is a kid and I'm gonna love them regardless

94. What are your strengths? I'm pretty smart, I guess?? I've been told that I'm pretty good at rationalizing things

95. What are your weaknesses? I am unfortunately a very anxious person. No matter how much logic I use, I can't get over some shit

96. How did you get your name? I was named after a comic book character, my parents just gender bended the name

97. Were your ancestors royalty? I fucking hope not

98. Do you have any scars? I'd just like to point out that this is on here twice and your answer is back at 39

99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue right now

100. Color of your room? White walls, pink carpet

[kipxer]

Turtle Comforts - Mikey

Rise!Mikey/GN!Reader - platonic/familial - no Reader pronouns

Summary: You're overthinking everything which is making you stuck and depressed. But lucky for you, a little bundle of sunshine has a pizza delivery for you.

Warnings: Anxious overthinking, being stuck in a freeze state, and just generally being depressed. Crying and feelings of helplessness.

Word Count: 2.5k

Note: I don't need therapy anymore, all I need is stuff like this :) - (ok but bruh this actually works tho, I actually showered and ate soup today for real)

Continued: (Raph Leo Donnie) TBA

Masterlist

Surrounded by plush pillows and stuffed animals, you roll over in bed trying to hide away from the sun daring to peek through the curtains into your room.

You know you should wake up. You've been drifting in and out of sleep for longer than you should have by now.

Groaning you pick up your phone and squint at the bright light.

It's horrifyingly well past noon.

A buzz in your hand shocks you out of your drowsiness.

Mikey: Yo y/n!! We're gonna check out the new pizza place in about an hour! Wanna join in? :D

With that message alone, you tense up and feel your throat tighten.

Oh god. Socializing. Leaving the house.

And look at yourself.

Wearing the pajamas that were yesterday's clothes surrounded by your stuffy room that you've procrastinated on cleaning for the last few weeks.

There's no way you could make it.

Even if you wanted to join in, you'd have to get ready for the day, brush your teeth, shower, do your hair, and find clean clothes. In order to find clothes you'd have to clean up the room and do laundry. Oh god and you can't leave the house without doing your other chores, that's just blatantly irresponsible. And even if you were able to do all of that, then you would have to pack and get everything ready then figure out how to make it to the meet up spot. And what about paying for it, you haven't been taking on much work lately so your bank account is looking quite worrying. What if you need that money for an emergency and you spent it on some dumb food-

Before you know it, you can't even move. Too stuck in your own brain to even get out of bed.

To be fair, it has been a while since you spent time with any of the brothers, and you did promise them that you'd hang out soon.

But alas, your eyes continuing to droop, your body growing pitifully weak, and your breath quickening by the passing minutes.

"Mornings" for you have been like this for a while, an epic self deprecating battle between motivation, exhaustion, and anxiety. Ultimately resulting in hours of laying in bed on your phone until the headaches and back soreness join in.

You'd have to decline the offer.

But pizza does sound good right about now. It has been quite a while since you ate an actual meal. And you do genuinely love hanging out with the brothers.

But then again, their adventures are quite energy taxing. It's not uncommon that some mutant or yokai pops out of nowhere and you'd find yourself fighting for your life again. And if you are so exhausted what if you slip up and endanger the team?

Oh god, but what if they take your decline as rejecting them. You've barely talked to any of them in a while and now you're rejecting them? If you want to keep being friends with them you have to at least put in some effort.

But you won't be any fun to be around in this state, so you'd just bring them down either way.

They must hate you.

okokokokok. Just. It's fine. It's probably fine. They're really understanding, they probably won't miss you that much. And you did already make your decision, overthinking it won't do you any good. Just. Go through with it. It'll be fine.

FINALLY, after 40 minutes of contemplation you manage to type out a quick message.

Y/N: That sounds like so much fun! But I'm just feelin' kind of exhausted and irritable, I don't think I would be much fun to hang around today lol

Without so much as missing a beat you see Mikey begin typing back.

Mikey: Aww!! Well maybe hanging out could get you some positive vibes flowin. We're not gonna be doin anything crazy, it's just pizza.

But it's not just pizza.

Y/N: Nah it's fine, I just end up like this sometimes, I just gotta work my way through it lol

You're saying lol too many times.

Mikey: It's been so long since we last hung out tho!! We gotta at least do something!

You sink a little at his words. So he really does care that you come. Are you really gonna ruin his day like that-

Before you can give more weak excuses, another message appears.

Mikey: How about I just drop some off at your place then! I don't want ya missing out!

Y/N: No it's ok! I don't want to trouble you with it. I can always get a slice some other time!

Mikey: It's no trouble lol! I'll be there in a little bit!"

Oh god.

The clock is ticking.

You have to clean your room and shower and-

C'mon, the ENTIRE point was that you wouldn't have to ruin anything. So that you could just have the time to get through your own problems and deal with it yourself like usual.

Since you took so fucking long to reply earlier they must be getting ready to leave to the restaurant soon. Now you have even less time thanks to your dumbass procrastination like always.

You begin to shake.

And your eyes grow warm and watery.

You can't get it together in time.

But it should be so easy.

It's so simple.

Why couldn't you have just done it before.

Why did you have to sleep in the entire day.

Why did it take you so long to reply.

The impossible and inevitable looming deadline unravels you into a heap of tears and panicked sobs.

This is so stupid.

Now he's gonna see you like this.

Which panics you even more.

You end up in an anxious frenzy for a good bit, but that doesn't make time slow down any further, in fact it just does the opposite.

He's gonna show up at any moment now.

The best you could do is not have him find you crying on top of your appearance and messy room and everything else.

So you rub your tears away and suck in your breath forcing the tears back, all while just trying to calm your breathing at least a little bit.

And luckily as soon as you got yourself at least emotionally presentable, you hear a knock on your window.

Muffled through the curtained window comes a familiar sing song voice "Pizza delivery!"

You can practically hear his smile.

At last, after hours of being stuck in bed, you get up on your wobbly legs like some anxious baby deer.

You approach the window.

With each step your chest tightens.

As you reach for the curtain, your shoulders tense.

But ultimately, you pull the fabric back.

Light pours into your room and fills your senses, causing you to squint at the brightness.

Once your eyes finally adjust, you find your mutated friend on the fire escape. His grin wide with a large pizza box in his hands.

Unlatching the window, you invite him in.

As if it were nothing, he hops on through balancing the box on one hand.

"Man it is dark in here!"

You let out an awkward laugh "heheh yeah."

You hear him sniff?

"And you smell funny!"

You make a face in the dark. "Yeah..."

"What have you even been doin' all day?"

You feel yourself shrink at his question and start playing with your sleeves "Uhhh well I just sorta hung around I guess. Slept in a bit."

His face drops. "A bit?? The sun is gonna go down soon!!"

You stay quiet

"Is this what you've been doing this entire time??" He throws his arms out to his sides, somehow still perfectly balancing the pizza.

Your shame begins to grow while your voice grows smaller.

"Um- I-"

"If you needed help getting your life together all you had to do was ask." He poses dramatically with his knuckle on his chin, silhouetted by the golden rays from your window. "After all, I am an expert life coach."

"I uh what."

He suddenly flicks on the light switch illuminating the room further.

"Hold-on-hold-on you don't have to do this, it's fine really!! I got it handled I can fix my own life." You frantically say with your hands up defensively.

Mikey looks at you intensely with an unreadable expression and slowly blinks.

...

"Clearly"

With a swipe of his arm he comically shoves the stuff on your desk off to the side in a pile before placing the pizza box in it's cleared space.

"Mikey!!!" You screech, frantically shouting at him all the reasons why he definitely should not be doing what he is doing.

He throws a pair of shorts and a random shirt he found on the floor at you.

"Go shower!!"

"Mikey-"

"Ya nasty!!!"

You stand dumbfounded.

"GO!!!!!"

...

You slowly walk to the bathroom, staring at him with the most bewildered face on your way out...

As you stand in the bathroom, you look down at the random clothes in your hands.

There's not much else you can do besides shower now you guess??

If you cannot tell already, this is not how you expected this to go...

You turn on the water and begin bathing yourself.

You knew Mikey was the heart of the group and really kind, but you didn't quite anticipate him shoving his way into your grey moody depression arc in the way he did.

He really didn't have to.

But here we are.

As you finish up, you put on the random clothes you were given and dry off your hair.

You feel fresher. Lighter.

As you walk back into your bedroom, you find him chucking clothes from the floor into your hamper.

"heyheyhey you don't need to do that!!"

"Oh puh-lease, like you couldn't benefit from a head start."

You stand awkwardly "Um. Thanks?" You stiffly put your clothes from earlier into the hamper as well.

"Y'know you really don't have to do this for me-"

A slice of pizza is shoved in front of your face.

He smugly smiles. "Look, you've clearly been all huddled up in your room like some hermit for weeks! The least you could do is accept a little bit of help."

You consider this before slowly take the food from Mikey's hand.

"Good!" Leaning on your desk, he grabs a slice for himself and chomps down.

You sit down on your bed and tentatively take a small bite.

The delicate cheesiness of it is beyond your comprehension. The sensation is almost heavenly. With the soft warm crust beneath your fingers and gentle flavor of the toppings.

Your eyes sparkle before you melt and begin to devour it as if you have been a starved animal.

Mikey slides up next you. "Is good right?"

You nod enthusiastically.

He chuckles with a wide grin. "See aren't you glad I came by?" He says, poking your cheek childishly.

Through a half full mouth you reply "To be honest, I kinda freaked out when you said you were coming over at first." You huff out a small laugh at your old reaction.

Mikey gasps. "Whaaaaat? Why freak out about somethin' like that. It's not like this is the first time I dropped by."

Swallowing, you explain yourself a bit, "Well, I guess- I just got nervous cause I couldn't really get myself like, presentable in time? Doing the most basic things seems to take all my time and energy lately. I just- I didn't want to ruin your guys' good time with, all of this." You gesture to yourself and let out a nervous laugh trying to break your tension.

His brows knit together "Ruin our good time? Dude, we wanted you to come cause you're part of the reason why we're havin' a good time. We just like hanging out with you."

"Even if I'm like this?" You huff out a laugh disbelievingly.

"Yeah!" He glances around the room, then to the pizza, and finally back at you before grinning. "I mean, I'm having a good time right now."

"Oh" you say with small smile.

Oh...

Your eyes feel wet.

And you begin to hiccup.

Cmon, not again. I thought we already got this over with.

His eyes widen before they turn to a more sympathetic look. Quickly, he hops on over to your side.

"Wha- hey, why we crying?"

"No- it's relief tears its- um- kinda-" You stumble over your words, embarrassed, "It has been a day."

Abruptly you feel his arms wrap around your frame, squeezing you against his plastron.

"There there. We all have days."

And you can't help yourself but break down even more, finally able to let go. Shakily, you lean into his touch, circling your arms around him.

Why did you even try pushing him away. His sweetness knows no bounds.

"I'm just - I'm frustrated with myself for thinking you'd hate me and be mad at me. And I really really miss you. And I'm just so tired and everything is so hard for no reason. I just feel stupid and useless."

Holding you steady, he gently rubs your back. Dragging his palm up and down along your spine before speaking again.

"Well, it was a little stupid to think I would hate you," He snickers, "But it's ok to be bit dumb sometimes. We all have our moments."

He continues, puffing out his cheeks, "And even if you are feeling useless, that doesn't mean you're any less valuable. You don't gotta be useful all the time. You can just, be."

At his words, you curl up closer against him. And he just lets you. Carefully but firmly holding you, he takes the weight of all your angst and emotional mush as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

And after a few moments pass, your tears finally stop and your breathing slows but you continue to cling onto him.

"Thank you for the pizza." you say in a small voice.

"No prob!"

"And thank you for helping me clean up."

"Of course!"

You pause for a moment before pulling back from him a bit.

"And thank you for getting me out of it. You really are a good life coach."

He belts out a quick laugh "HA! I told you!! I'm a professional, baby." He puts a proud hand to his chest, "You just gotta let me do my job."

You giggle at his antics.

He perks back up, "Speaking of, how about we get you out of this dump for a while. I'm sure everyone would like to hang out with you some too." he moves to stand up.

"As long as it's nothing crazy," You slouch a bit, "which I know can be a tall order for you guys..."

Mikey shrugs "If you ever need to tab out just let me know. I can scream at them to chill or we can even ditch 'em. No biggie." He reaches out his hands to you, offering to lift you up back on your feet.

You take a deep breath. Your thoughts finally simplifying and your body fed, cleaned, and clothed. It really is like he's got some kind of super power to get you here.

Taking his hands in yours, you smile, and you stand up.

[heavyhitterheaux]

How Ree's car got totaled on the way to Kentucky, she went back home to Maryland and still made it back on time for the show and Jackman gave her backstage passes 🥴😐

Okay, buckle the fuck up because

HERE

WE

GO

Okay sooo I'm really not going to get into the whole accident part because I'm still pretty sad about it for obvious reasons but I will give yall a timeline about how everything worked out

I left on Friday at 3 am from Maryland in order to get to Louisville by 1:30- 2 pm because the way I drive, it was NOT about to take 9 hours

Zoom zoom, bitch

Okay anyway

We are literally 3 and a half hours away when the accident happened and why when my dumbass made sure I had all my limbs and my glasses weren't broken, I was like.... okay soooo.... how are we getting to Kentucky?

BITCHHHHH THE FUCKING DEDICATION

I was very upset because I knew that I had to call my sister and I feel like I failed because I wanted to prove that I was responsible enough to do this seeing as I basically don't go anywhere without her

I have literally never been away from my sister longer than like 72 hours

And of course she's like you're my only sister and I could care less about the car all that matters is that you're alive 🥺

And of course we both proceeded to cry

Long story short, I had to end up going back home (keep in mind ya girl was more than halfway there)

So Shantai who was driving my car at the time (remember she went with me to see him in October)

She gets admitted to the hospital because she basically blacked out while she was driving my car and yeah

ANYWAY

So my big sister, Rae, comes to the rescue

She had dropped me off at the nail shop because two of them broke in the accident and she's like it looks like we're going on a road trip 😭😭😭

She knows how important this was to me and that this was basically a late birthday/Christmas gift to myself and I was determined to get back to Kentucky because I fought for my damn life to get those tickets

Like I was crying so much that it wasn't even funny

I got some things out of my car when I originally went home, but coming back with Rae, I got the rest and took the plates off

(We not gonna talk about how my front license plate was basically ripped off and sitting in the back seat along with other pieces of my car 🙃)

Like airbags are deployed and the entire underside is ruined and yeah soo

TOTALED

Just grateful to walk away without any broken bones, I'll take the broken heart from losing my first car that I worked so hard for

Onto bigger and better and I can't change the past

We left Sunday morning at 3 am, got into Louisville around 2 something and because the reservation was still in Shantai's name and they actually HELD THE ROOM (which we were all very surprised by), we stayed at The Galt House Hotel which is right next to the KFC Yum Center.

THAT SHIT WAS NICEEEE

It was like a damn apartment up in that bitch

And I was lowkey sad about not being able to be there that long

Like ya girl was about to visit Churchill Downs, eat Alfredo at Vincenzo's and go to Morris Deli

But it's okay, I'll be back

So because I am fucking exhausted, I go to sleep and get up to take a shower and get ready

BITCHHHHH I'm hype now

I GET TO SEE MY BABY FOR THE SECOND TIME IN 2 MONTHS

Okay so let's get into this outfit

White shirt

Black tulle skirt

Fishnets

Combat boots

Leather jacket

YA GIRL WAS LOOKING FUCKING AMAZING, OKAY!?! (And I got Hella compliments. Everyone was like you look so pretty 🥺😭)

By this time, it's like 7:40 and we walk to the arena

IT WAS FUCKING FREEZING

Anyway, the arena is huge and it took us a minute to find our seats

Once we did, I could have cried because it was like the perfect view 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Okay so me and Rae are vibing to the opening acts and then I hear the first notes of Talk of the Town and I was like

BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HERE

WE

FUCKING

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AHHHHHHHH

When he hit the stage I SWEA TA GAWD he looked so fine and I said it loud as shit too lmao

My sister was like Oh... he is cute

I was like HEAUX BACK UP!

I SAW HIM FIRST 😭😭😭

So we're dancing and singing however why do I always happen to pick the section that is NEVER lit

(Section 111 do better, babes. Ya killing me smalls)

But I don't fucking care

YA GIRL IS GOING IN

SUNDOWN

GHOST

21C/DELTA

TYLER HERRO

LUV IS DRO

WARSAW

Literally screaming every lyric at the top of my lungs

Okay so boom

OUTFIT CHANGE

I was like okay baby I see you looking like you stepped out 1970

Oh important side note: URBAN WAS FUCKING HIDING ALL NIGHT FROM ME AGAIN (I'm getting real tired of his shit)

Okay back to the story

LIKE A BLADE OF GRASS

MOVIE STAR

NAIL TECH

POISON

WHAT'S POPPIN

ALREADY BEST FRIENDS

INDUSTRY BABY

Oh

My

Gawd

When he did State Fair, I just about MELTED 🥺🥺🥺

And then the girl with the sign talking about the titties missed you

And Jack was like excuse me this is a family show 😭😭😭

But yet...

You got a song called I Wanna See Some Ass bro....

Okay, Jackman

Of course he had the hose and acted like a damn fool

And of course the little basketball thingy

They kept missing except one person so Jack was like if I make it, they all win

He missed like 3 times

And I was like bitch

Cancel the movie NEOW 😭😭😭

Like he is the definition of white men can't jump lmaooooo

I kid, I kid lmao

Anyway

IT WAS HOT AS FUCK IN THERE

And the fire DID NOT HELP

I was like STINK TURN.IT.OFF.NEOW.

A bitch almost came out her clothes

(Backstage with Jackman's eyes only of course)

So I'm just so PROUD OF HIM 😭😭😭

Of course he ended with First Class and we wait until it clears out because I wasn't trying to get trampled and if someone stepped on my skirt it would have been on sight

And when we get to the merch line, my sister was like uhh yeah imma need a shirt too 😭😭😭

She has officially come to the dark side

I saw my mother in law and she is actually taller than what I expected

Like I was just walking, turned to the left and did a double take lmaoooo

And I told her I would help cook for Christmas lmaoo

Like Jack stole her entire face 😭😭😭

So we get our shirts and... I TOOK A PIC NEXT TO THE KFC BUCKET WITH BIG HEAD'S FACE ON IT!

That bucket was tall as fuck

Okay so after that

We only slept for four hours before getting back on the road to go home

We made it to the Maryland state line in 6 hours 😭

Very thankful my sister drove because even though I wasn't driving when the accident took place, I just can't bring myself to do it right now.

All in all

I had an amazing time and much thanks to my big sister for saving the day and making her little sister's wish come true 🥺

[spyrothesquish-0006]

Bakugo X afab!Reader, Period Comfort fic

Warnings: afab!Reader, mentions of period cramps

Period cramps suck, but Baku would give the best snuggles 🥺

Enjoy! I haven't posted in a while cuz writers block and life being busy, but I'm back! For now 🥲

_________________________________

"Hey, dumbass. What has you looking so down?"

      It was funny, honestly, how Katsuki had such a way with words. If it was anyone else, perhaps you'd be offended, but you knew that's just how Bakugo was. His tone was rough, but his eyes were soft as he stood in front of you, looking down at where you currently sat, slightly curled up in a ball at your desk.

      You hadn't noticed, but you probably did look a little down. "That time of the month" had come around, and your cramps felt like your insides were being ripped apart and chomped on by an angry chihuahua. All you wanted to do was lay in bed until the pain went away, but alas, you still had classes for the day. Luckily for you, it was the last period of the day, so all you had to do was survive the next 45 minutes before you could go back to the dorms.

      Bakugo was still looking down at you with concern hidden behind his usual scowl.

     "Well? What's wrong? Do I need to blast someone to bits, or what?"

You couldn't help but laugh at his immediate jump to violence. He always was so protective of you, after all, he should be. He did just so happen to be your boyfriend. You shook your head as a small smile came to your lips.

     "No, it's nothing like that. It's just cramps kicking my ass for now."

You rested your head down on your desk for a minute as the pain kicked in, eyes screwed shut in a pained grimace. Why did you have to be cursed with a uterus?

      You felt as a warm hand was placed on your back, willing you to relax a bit as Bakugo rubbed your back. His voice lowered as he leaned down to kiss your temple.

     "Just hold on another 40 minutes baby, then we'll get you back to my room for the night, okay?"

All you could manage was a nod before Bakugo had to take his seat before Aizawa would get mad at him.

     The next 40 minutes passed in a daze; you were too focused on the pain in your stomach to even remember what the lesson was about. You went to grab your bag to leave, but your hand was tugged back before you could pick it up.

     "Don't even try, let me."

Bakugo grabbed your bag off the ground, giving a slight smirk at the way your eyes softened. He wrapped an arm around your waist, ignoring the snickers he heard from the back of the class as he went to leave with you. Why should he give a damn about what a bunch of wanna-be-hero extras thought? You were his, and he was heavily proud of that fact. His uncaring attitude didn't stop him from throwing a hard glare their way, however, and anyone poking fun knew better than to continue.

      You leaned against his side as you two walked back to the dorms, finding comfort in the sweet scent of caramel as he idly rubbed your back on the way. The cramps still hadn't let up, and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and not move. By the time you and Bakugo got to his dorm room, he decided he'd be better off carrying you, so you were soon swept off your feet and later placed onto his bed.

     "Stay here for a minute, and don't even think about moving. I'm gonna grab some of your stuff so you can stay the night."

You knew better by now than to argue with him, so all you did was give a tired nod as you grabbed his pillow from his bed and hugged it till he got back. You noticed then that Bakugo had left one of his hoodies hanging off the back of his chair by his desk. It still smelled like him when you grabbed it, and you figured he wouldn't mind if you borrowed it, especially considering you didn't feel good. It was rare for the hero-to-be to say no to you for anything, especially if you weren't feeling well.

      Bakugo came back a few moments later, carrying a change of clothes, blanket, some snacks, and your pillow, when he stopped in his tracks. You looked so small and worn out from where you were curled up in his bed, wearing *his* hoodie. It made something swell in his chest as he set your things down, cheeks tinted pink as he tried to regain his usual cocky attitude.

     "Missed me that much, huh? I was only gone a few minutes." He reached out a gentle hand to smooth over your hair, his quirk making his touch warm and comforting. His cheeks flushed slightly as you looked up at him with tired eyes, and he couldn't get over how adorable you looked. You were swimming in his hoodie, and his heart was picking up speed the longer he looked at you. You gave a simple nod, reaching for the clothes he had brought you while Bakugo turned his back to let you get changed.

      It always broke his heart whenever you didn't feel good, but at the same time he adored taking care of you in his own simple ways. He may not be able to change the fact that you were wracked with pain every month, but he could be there by your side to comfort you, and offer his shoulder as a cozy place to rest your head on. His hands were always warm, and you had found that they worked wonders when the cramps got bad. He always looked forward to the day you felt better, but until then, he would enjoy his role as your caretaker.

     A gentle tug to the back of his shirt brought him out of his thoughts as Bakugo turned to look back at you. A pair of sweatpants hung off your hips and his hoodie had swallowed you up as you tugged him into his bed. You gave him your best version of puppy eyes as he pulled him closer to you.

     "Can I just lay on you for now? You're cozy."

     "Whatever you want sweetheart, you know that."

He happily let himself be pulled down into his bed, relaxing against his pillows while you curled up on his chest. He always acted as though it were no big deal whenever you curled up to him, but on the inside, Bakugo always hoped to god you couldn't hear the way his heart pounded in his chest. His skin felt warmer than usual any time he held you, and either you never noticed, or you simply didn't complain. Either way, Bakugo was content.

     It wasn't long until his fingers were carding through your hair, one hand resting on your head while his other traced and massaged along your lower back. Your eyes drooped as he held you, cramps slowly going away with the feeling of his hand on your back. He hummed softly as he traced over your skin, happy with knowing you trusted him enough to care for you at times like these. Bakugo was never one to get sappy, he always hated the "honeyed bullshit" as he called it, but he truly wouldn't change nights like this for the world. Not with the way you looked up at him with the biggest eyes. You always found a way to make him feel like he was #1 with everything. #1 hero, #1 student, and most importantly, #1 boyfriend.

      The night wore on as you fell asleep against his chest, lulled by the sound of his soft humming and his hands on your back, massaging any aches and pains away. His eyes were heavy as he looked down at you, but he just didn't want to fall asleep yet. He didn't want this night to end. He wanted to just hold you in his arms like this forever, obligations and responsibilities be damned. He held you like his own personal teddy bear for the night, arms heavy around you while he began to drift off. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead while you slept, muttering a soft,

     "G'night baby."

He let his eyes slip shut as he relaxed against his pillow, finally succumbing to sleep as you dreamed away in his arms.

[willowbird]

I'm a big fan of your Pynch writing. If you're still accepting prompts - No. 40? "A gentle kiss that quickly descends into passion, with little regard for what’s going on around them" is practically canon. A million bonus points if it's actually set during the Opal book.

Aww you are too sweet!! I'm so glad you're enjoying them because I sure am!

------

From Opal:

The first time Ronan woke that morning it was to the bed rustling and his pillow coming to life and abandoning him. It moved him with gentle hands and chuckled when he grumbled a complaint. When Ronan blindly reached out, groping for purchase to be able to drag it back, those hands caught his and soft lips pressed to his fingertips.

"I'm not goin' far. Go back to bed, Ronan," said the pillow.

Ronan grumbled, read to argue, but the protest died on his lips when one of those hands moved to the top of his head, stroking over the fuzz of hair growing back from his most recent buzz. Blunt nails scratched gently over his scalp and he sighed, already drifting back toward sleep. The embrace of dream was already curling around him by the time he realized that pillows don't actually have hands...

----

The second time Ronan woke it was more naturally but there was a similar wrongness. An absence. This time, however, he woke up enough to realize that it wasn’t his pillow or a bedsheet or any other object or possession that had gone missing -- it was Adam. Annoyed, because he did not like waking up without Adam now that he’d gotten used to it (especially knowing that their days of this were numbered and swiftly dwindling), Ronan expressed himself with a grunt of dissatisfaction as he kicked the covers off the rest of the way and rolled onto his back, starfishing in the center of the bed as full consciousness descended upon him. 

He laid there for only a few minutes before he recognized the rumble-whirring of a large machine. Considering the Barns was set deep enough onto the Lynch property that their nearest neighbors were several miles away and you couldn’t even hear horns blaring from the road, this struck Ronan as decidedly odd. He frowned to himself and rolled off the bed, shuffling on bare feet to the window. Through the curtain he was able to see one of the backhoes (which he’d been sure didn’t even work anymore), digging into the ground. If he squinted, he could make out the familiar fluff of Adam’s hair catching the light. 

Opal’s erratic dashing didn’t require any squinting at all -- he’d recognize that little shit anywhere. 

It took Ronan a few minutes to figure out what the fuck those two weirdos were doing. When he did, he grinned to himself, shook his head, and dropped himself back onto the bed. He was getting better at this, and with sleep still clinging to the edges of his conscious mind it only took him a few minutes more until he was back to sleep. This time, he allowed himself to dream.

----

The third time Ronan woke it was with an unnatural pipe in his hand, thrumming and alive-but-not. He spent about five minutes washing up before heading outside barely dressed. What was the point when they were gonna strip down anyway? 

It didn’t really strike him until he was nearing the spot that Adam had chosen for their new swimming pool that Adam had just chosen a spot for their new swimming pool -- or pond, whatever. But.. Adam. Adam had decided, on his own, to made a change to the Barns like it was his own home, like he had a right to be here and do things and make his own mark on this place. The fierce adoration that realization struck up in Ronan was like dropping a match on a bonfire doused in gasoline. He was burning up and all of it was yes yes yes forever this yes. Because this wasn’t Adam just following Ronan’s lead or blissfully ignoring his lifelong desperation to escape Henrietta so that he could enjoy the Barns with him. This was Adam Parrish making a choice to affect the world around him, to affect Ronan’s world, in a way that was permanent, knowing and accepting that it was going to be a welcomed change. 

It meant that whatever happened, Adam didn’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. Sure, he was going to college and being separated from him was going to fucking hurt. It was gonna be like operating without a limb. But they would make it through. Because Adam had chosen a home already. Maybe that wasn’t Henrietta -- but it was Ronan and that... that blew his fucking mind. 

Adam and Opal were sitting at the edge of the hole when Ronan caught up to them, watching the freshly-dug pit fill with water from a natural spring. 

“Are there going to be fish in it? There should be fish,” Opal insisted, baring her teeth in a way that left zero question as to why she thought there should be fish. 

Adam laughed, and fuck was that a beautiful sound. Light and amused, free. 

“No, I don’t think there’s going to be fish.”

“There should be fish!” Opal argued.

“Don’t you eat enough?” Ronan grumbled as he approached, making both of then turn to look at him. Opal scowled and made an obscene noise before dashing off, probably to eat a squirrel in revenge and leave its severed tail laying around where he’d step on it. She had a fucked up sense of retaliation. 

Adam, on the other hand, looked amused. 

“Hey,” he said, easy and relaxed. Then he smiled. 

“Hey yourself,” Ronan said, somehow still feeling like a lost king before a radiant star.

Adam’s eye caught on the pipe in his hand, then, and he tilted his head in question. 

Instead of answering, Ronan kicked off his shoes and stepped up to the edge of the hole. With a jump and a slide, he skidded down to the bottom, where the water was only just at his shins. He felt his way along with bare feet to find where the water was coming in the strongest and then crouched down, stabbing the pipe in. The effect was almost instantaneous. Within moments, cool, clear water began to shoot out the broader end, filling the hole rapidly. It was already to his waist by the time he made it back to the edge of the hole. Adam was on his knees at the edge, grinning, those eye bright as stars in the void of night. 

“How did you even know to dream up something? You reading minds now?” Adam asked as he helped haul Ronan out of the hole. They sat on the edge, watching it fill. 

“Heard your commotion and figured out what you were up to,” Ronan replied with a shrug.

“And here I thought I was going to give you a nice surprise.” Adam chuckled and bumped him with his shoulder, then turned and kissed him on the cheek. 

That simple, casually affectionate kiss sent tingles all the way down to Ronan’s toes. 

“Hey,” he said, and when Adam turned toward him again, he caught his face in hand and kissed him back. It started out small; it started out soft and simple and small. But nothing between Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish could ever stay small and simple. It always grew into something magnanimous and magnificent and beautiful and frightening and real. So what started with the touch of lips became a tangle of breath, became a rush of senses and feeling and heat and light. Ronan was alive and awake in a way that somehow felt like dreaming because it was so incredibly charged with the power of making. Ronan would know, because he was a dreamer and that’s what dreamers did. 

One kiss, that’s how it started. Then Adam leaned in with a sigh and Ronan curled his fingers to tangle in Adam’s hair. Then Adam opened his mouth to him and Ronan was caught, snared by the taste of him and the rush it caused in his blood. There were lions roaring in his ears, an entire savannah storm raging in his blood with lightning strikes carving new veins in every line and limb of his body. Hands tugged and bodies moved, and Ronan got Adam into his lap. The weight of him was grounding and so, so satisfying as the other boy’s arms looped over his shoulders and the kiss deepened even further. 

Ronan groaned, his hands grasping at Adam’s waist now, slipping under his thin t-shirt to press to heated skin. The touch was enough to shoot fireworks up his nerves and when Adam moved against him like that...

Well, it was a damn good thing he’d dreamed that pipe to keep the water nice and cold. 

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[viinchester]

Prompts

How/What to request

Please comment or send an ask with the number of the prompt(s) you want + the character + more details you want to be included. I'm feeling really creative right now, so I might be able to do some of your requests.

-

1. "Did you bring us here to die?" - "Obviously." - "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

2. "You.. You are-.." - "Beautiful? A genius? Immensely talented?" - "Dangerous."

3. "All that blood looks good on you, it really brings out your eyes."

4. "You keep on pointing that gun at me and blabber about how much you've been wanting to kill me. I'm beginning to doubt your commitment."

5. "Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it."

6. "I don't care if you're panicking - just do it quietly."

7. "How long have you been standing there?" - "Longer than you'd like."

8. "Keep your morals away from me."

9. "When did you become so smart?" - "Since I stopped listening to you."

10. "I remember kissing you.. Why do I remember kissing you?"

11. "I was just kind of hoping that you'd.. y'know.. fall in love with me."

12. "Well, that didn't end the way I expected it to, but at least nobody important died."

13. "You're going to have to tell people you're leaving eventually." - "Yeah, but how should I do it? Shall I shout it from the rooftops or send a mass e-mail?"

14. "I have never been so insulted!" - "You don't listen much then, do you?"

15. "What are you doing?" - "… Eating." - "We're being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen!?" - ".. They didn't say the fridge was off limits."

16. "Come over here and make me."

17. "I have a name and it's not sweetheart."

18. "I wouldn't miss you. Nobody would." - "..." - "No, wait! I didn't-" - "Fuck off, I hate you."

19. "I really wish you were never born." - "Well, me neither. But.. life be like that sometime." - ".. You're an idiot, you know that?"

20. "I'm dying and you can't do anything about it, so please just hold me. I don't want to die here alone.."

21. "You're bleeding! Where's your friend!?" - "Left me to die to save their own ass. Guess you were right, I really am not worth it."

22. "Did you really think I cared about you?"

23. "This is what I get from trusting you.. Everybody told me to stay away from you, but I ignored them.." - "Yeah, that was really stupid. You should've known better. And for the record: I don't regret anything."

24. "You lied to me! Everything you ever did.. It was all just a game to you!" - "You found out? What a shame.. I kind of enjoyed playing with you."

25. "This is a joke, right? Right!?"

26. "What are you doing?" - "Just what's long over due."

27. "I'm a monster." - "You know you're not."

28. "Listen, I believe there's good inside of you somewhere.. Just.. Just put that knife down, okay?"

29. "Sometimes you need to make your sarcasm more clear."

30. "Oh crap. That's your »I did something bad«-face."

31. "This never happened. Understood?"

32. "Can't you be happy for me for just five minutes?"

33. "You don't give a damn about me!" - "Frankly, I do give a damn about you, my dear."

34. "Innocent until proven guilty, my friend."

35. "You did what!?"

36. "I know I'm very drunk, but I want to kiss you so bad.." - "Excuse you?"

37. "Are you done?" - "Depends."

38. "I should hate you, but all I feel is love!" - "Well, I have that effect on people."

39. "I didn't do it." - "Then why are you laughing?" - "Because whoever did it is a genius."

40. "Was it really necessary to hit me with the corpse's leg?" - "Necessary? No. Hilarious? Yes."

41. "Oh, you're still alive." - "Don't sound so disappointed, I might begin to think you don't like me."

42. "Hold on, you died!" - "Yeah well, it didn't really stick."

43. "I think I'm having a feeling. How do I make it stop?"

44. "This is a beautiful place." - "What a shame you came from so far away to destroy it, right?" - "Not really."

45. "I don't like how that ended. Let's pretend it never happened." - ".. Life doesn't work like that." - "It does now."

46. "I didn't-.. I didn't mean to! This wasn't what I wanted!"

47. "Do you feel any remorse for what you did to them? For what you did to me?"

48. "Please, you have to let me make this right!"

49. "How long are you going to keep on blackmailing me?"

50. "This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well."

51. "You know, you're adorable when you're mad." - "I could literally kill you."

52. "Well, this is a nice change of scenery." - "It's a prison cell." - "I was being sarcastic."

53. "Run! Run away as long as you got the chance!" - "Run away from what!?" - "From me!"

54. "Rumour has it, I make you nervous."

55. "I can't focus with your damn hand in my- ah.. Oh…"

56. "How are you mad at me, when I'm the one with the broken arm!?"

57. "Well, shit. I'll need a fucking lawyer."

58. "Are you enjoying the party?" - "Party? This isn't a party." - "Not until somebody almost dies."

59. "FUCK! You scared the shit out of me!"

60. "Don't. Move."

61. "You're bleeding on my carpet."

62. "Excuse me, but whoever stood you up is an idiot and a jerk."

63. "Call me that one more time and you'll see what happens."

64. "It's pitch black in here and I can still see you're blushing."

65. "Am I supposed to be scared of you?"

66. "Murder is kinda against the law, you know?"

67. "Bend over."

68. "Beg for it."

69. "I'll make sure you never see them again."

70. "If you relaxed, it wouldn't hurt so much."

71. "There you are. Did you really think you were gonna escape?"

72. "I love you, I love you so much and I'll make sure you feel the same." - "You-.. You are insane.."

73. "Let me out of here! You're a fucking psychopath! I won't ever bend to your will!" - "Now, why did you have to make me mad by saying something so inconsiderate?"

74. "See, now was that so bad?" - "We're in the hospital, you idiot!" - "Yeah, but we could be dead instead, so I consider us lucky."

75. "How do you even sleep at night?" - "Oh, just like a baby."

76. "It'd be a shame if I had to damage that beautiful face.."

77. "Stop struggling. It doesn't have to be painful."

78. "I killed my own blood. What do you think I could do to you?"

79. Person A is wrapped in christmas lights, their body bound tightly to the chair they're sitting on. Person B comes in and grins. "Oh boy, I must've been good this year."

80. "Why don't you ever listen to my orders!?" - "I don't like being told what to do."

81. "I'll go easy on you."

82. "You don't look like a professional criminal.." - "Oh sorry, let me just.. grab my Ted-Bundy-Mask and put on some bloody gloves."

83. "You don't have to stay. I understand."

84. "You don't have to fight me."

85. "Watch me."

86. "You make a sound and it's game over."

87. "I'm like 75% sure this isn't going to kill us."

88. "Uhm, I don't think kidnapping is legal.. So if you could just let me go, that would be great."

89. "Please, I'm begging you.. I will do anything!" - "Anything, you say?"

90. "Cooperate with me and nobody will get hurt."

91. "Shoot him/her. Or I shoot you."

92. "I'm not going to kill you, Y/N. You will kill yourself."

93. "Your life is completely in my hands, so don't test my boundaries."

94. "Why are you crying?"

95. "I could help you, but it will cost you."

96. "Oh, you mean you need.. this antidote?"

97. "Go ahead and pray. See what good that does for you."

98. "What did you do to them!?"

99. "If we get caught, I'm blaming you."

100. "Complain all you want, but hurry and help me hide the body while you're at it!"

101. Person A to Person B: "There's no way in hell I'm doing that!" *Five seconds later* Person B to Person A while watching them do it: "You were saying?"

102. "They don't make a card saying »Sorry for almost bleeding out on your two thousand dollar couch and completely ruining it«, so I got you this instead."

103. "I didn't ask you, because I knew you were going to deny. And I don't need your fucking permission to do anything!"

104. "I am the only thing standing between you and all those people out there wanting to kill you, so I strongly suggest you stop pissing me off."

105. "Why is everbody running around like the city's on fire? What did I miss?"

106. "Alright, so I'll do this ridiculous thing you asked me to do, but in exchange you'll have to come to family-dinner with me and pretend to be my boyfriend/girlfriend, because I've kinda been lying to my family about being in a relationship to get them off my back and now they want to meet my partner."

107. "That's a terrible thing to carve into a tree."

108. "This is definitely not as charming as you might think."

109. "But that wasn't the fucking question, was it?"

110. "You take me instead! Do you hear me? Give her/him/them back and take me instead!"

111. "You know I hear you talking, but I still don't have my coffee."

112. "Take one more step and I'll snap her pretty little neck."

113. "This is real. You're real, I'm real.. I need you to come back to reality with me."

114. "You shouldn't have seen that."

115. "Whatever you do, don't make a sound."

116. "I'd rather be spitting blood."

117. "You can't have her and it's killing you inside."

118. "I could hear you screaming, are you alright?"

119. "I was made to destroy. Not to fix or repare, but to break."

120. "I know how this goes. First, you buy me a drink, then you tell me how pretty I look and at the end of the night, you'll ask for my number."

121. "I'm drunk and I hate everything.. Wait, lemme correct myself, I hate everything but you."

122. "Put the gun down, please. You're starting to scare me.."

123. "I'm right here. I've been here all along. Please, just.. see me."

124. "Stop looking at me with pity in your eyes. Stop it. Stop fucking looking at me like that!"

125. "You took adventage of me when all I did was help you. Others would've left a long time ago, but I kept on believing in you. But you only ever saw me as an opportunity to get what you wanted.."

126. "You really don't know how to talk to women, do you?" - "There was no need to until now!"

127. "You already know how this will end. It always ends with my blood on your hands. I've come to terms with it, you should get used to the idea too. After all, you can't change destiny."

128. "If you want to keep me away, then tell me a lie that will hurt me so deep I'll never want to see you again." - "I love you."

129. "Go ahead, underestimate me. That will be fun."

[let-them-eat-rakes]

RED REALITY (part 1)

(my longest post yet.)

Item #: SCP-3001

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: To prevent further accidental entries into SCP-3001, all Foundation reality-bending technology will be upgraded/modified with multiple newly developed safeguards to prevent Class-C "Broken Entry" Wormhole creation. While knowledge of SCP-3001 is available to personnel of any level should they wish to learn about it, research and experimentation with SCP-3001 and its associated technology is strictly limited to personnel of Level 3 and above, with special clearance designation granted from Sites 120, 121, 124, and 133.

Description: SCP-3001 is a hypothesized paradoxical parallel/pocket "non-dimension" accessible through the creation of a momentary Class-C "Broken Entry" Wormhole.(1) While believed to be an infinitely extending parallel universe, SCP-3001 is almost completely devoid of any matter and has an extremely low Hume Level of 0.032,(2) contradicting Kejel's Laws of Reality with the relation between Humes and spacetime. This phenomenon causes matter inside it to decay at an extremely low rate, and damage that would otherwise prove fatal does not impede any biological/electronic function; simulations suggest an organism can lose more than 70% of their body's tissue and still operate normally, as long as at least 40% of the brain remains. However, prolonged exposure will cause said matter to gradually approach SCP-3001's own Hume Level, resulting in severe tissue/structural damage as the matter's own Hume Field begins to disintegrate.

SCP-3001 was initially discovered on January 2, 2000, at Site-120, a facility dedicated to testing and containing reality-bending technology. Dr. Robert Scranton and his wife Dr. Anna Lang were Head Researchers at Site-120, and were developing an experimental device, called the "Lang-Scranton Stabilizer" (LSS).(3) Dr. Scranton was transported to SCP-3001 after unexpected seismic activity damaged several active LSS in Site-120 Reality Lab A.

Initially presumed dead, Dr. Scranton has survived in SCP-3001 for at least five years, 11 months, and 21 days. During this time, he was able to record his experiences and observations within SCP-3001 through a somehow still functioning LSS control panel, which was also brought into SCP-3001 with him through the Class-C "Broken Entry" Wormhole. These recordings were later recovered upon the panel's sudden return, an unexpected side effect from testing improved reality-bending technology; these logs are the basis of SCP-3001 study. Despite new technologies being developed, retrieval and re-integration of Dr. Scranton has been unsuccessful. His current physical and mental states, if he is still alive, are unknown. [Further information on Dr. Scranton's possible retrieval is under Ethics Committee review.] Transcripts of Dr. Scranton's logs are below.

[No discernible/coherent dialogue can be heard from Dr. Scranton for the first eight days. He cycles through periods of panic, confusion, and anger throughout, and it seems he was attempting to navigate SCP-3001 to find a way out. He finally moved close enough to the recording log on the eleventh day, though did not notice it was operating for several more hours.]

…

Name, Robert Scranton. Age, 39. Birthday, September 19, 1961.

Favorite color, blue.

Favorite song, "Living on a Prayer."

Wife… Anna…

Anna…

Name, Robert Scranton. Age, 39. Birthday, September 19, 1961.

Favorite color, blue.

Favorite song, "Living on a Prayer."

Wife, Anna. She has green eyes. I love her very much.

Name, Robert Scranton. Age, 39. Birthday, September 19, 1961.

Favorite color, blue.

Height, 178 cm.

Weight, 85 kg.

Wife, Anna. Anna, I'm sorry.

Name, Robert Scranton. Age, 39. Birthday, September 19, 1961.

Favorite color, blue.

My wife's name is Anna. We got married August 12, 1991.

I hope she got out okay.

Please let her be all right, please let her be all right.

Robert, Scranton. 39. Anna, blue, wife. Please… please, God, please…

Anna… Anna… Anna bo banna… Anna bo banna…

What the… what the hell is that? [It is assumed at this point Dr. Scranton noticed the flashing light of the recording module.]

What the fuck, this thing's actually recording?

[Metallic clang heard.]

[Voice is highly agitated and panicked.] My name, is Robert Scranton. Yeah, yeah, my name, is Robert Scranton, former researcher at Foundation Site-120. It has been… I don't know, actually, I… I can't remember. I… I estimate it's been ten days, but, I-I-I don't, I can't… Oh God, can anyone hear me?! I-I-I don't know what's happened, I-I don't know where I am, and-and, please, please is anyone there?! Hello?! Anyone?! ANYONE?!

No one can hear me. Oh God, oh God, oh God. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.

Why the hell is this thing even working, it can't be working, it SHOULDN'T be working, so what the hell?! I need to — God, I need to, I need to… see, how… long can I talk here, I think there's a-a-a cap or something on the recording log, and I-I-I can't see anything, I can only see the red light blinking on and off, I can't see any of the switches next to it…

I'm really hungry.

Thirsty, too. I think I should be dead from dehydration by now, but… I don't know.

Hi, little red light. Can you talk to me? Can you talk to… Anna, for me? Hello?

I found the controls.

Two weeks, three days, forty-seven hours, and fifty-eight minutes.

Two weeks, three days, forty-seven hours, and fifty-eight minutes.

Two weeks, three days, seven hours, and fifty-eight minutes.

Two weeks, three days, seven hours, and fifty-eight minutes.

Oh… Jesus.

ERROR WITH PLAYBACK, ERROR WITH PLAYBACK. ERROR WITH PLAYBACK.

Wherever the hell I am, I'm pretty sure now that… I don't need to eat to stay alive. It hurts… a lot, but… at this point I don't think I'm gonna die… So… I'm gonna… I'm gonna take my time… I guess. I… Maybe some sort of miracle will happen and I'll get out. Heh. Keep dreaming, Robert. Yeah, I'm… I'm tired, I'm gonna sleep.

Three weeks, four days, nineteen hours.

I have a picture of Anna in my pocket. I almost forgot. Little red light, let me see her face, please? Just a little bit, I just… I just want to see her a bit.

Hi, Anna, I'm still here, I'm still here. I'm coming back, okay?

Two months, four days, three hours.

… Hi. Robert here. Yeah, I-I haven't really recorded much to hear in the past few weeks. Ha. Hahahaha… Hahaha… huh… huh…

Sorry, gotta keep it together. Breathe.

I've been… I've been busy. Trying to learn more about the place I'm in. My prison. My kingdom all my own. Heh, King Robert. God, I stink. Is there even air in this goddamn place? Stinky King Robert, king of GODDAMN NOTHING FUCK.

…Sorry, sorry. I, I gotta keep this professional. I'll… I'll come back when I'm feeling rested.

… Okay, here goes. [Inhales then exhales deeply.]

My name is… Robert Scranton. I am a former Head Researcher of Site… 120, a Foundation facility dedicated to studying various reality-bending SCPs, for the purpose of developing more advanced countermeasures towards such threats.

For the last… red light, speak to me,

Two months, eight days, sixteen hours.

What red light said. I have been trapped in what I believe to be an empty pocket dimension. Alone. Yeah… alone. All alone.

I'm calling this place SCP… I don't know, I can't remember where we are, screw it. I don't know what's happened in the past… red light, please, again.

Two months, eight days, sixteen hours.

But… no one else is around to argue, and at this point… I'm just talking into this control panel to keep myself together. I… I need to keep a record. There might be some poor bastard in the future who ends up like me, and… if this ever actually makes it out… maybe, maybe I can help stop that from happening. That's all I have going for me right now, and I really need something to go for, hahahaha…

…So, yeah, Robert… Scranton… documenting a new SCP for… future research purposes. That'll have to do. Here we go!

- Close.

…

Two months, eleven days, ten hours.

Item number, SCP I don't fucking care.

Object Class, Euclid, I guess, but I don't know, I might update this in time. I need to explore more.

Special Containment Procedures, god I sound so much like a shrink right now… Um… I don't know if we could… contain wherever I am. It's… definitely not on Earth. To be honest I don't know where it is. I… I think it has do something with the Stabilizer prototype… I'll explain that more later. Okay… um… yeah, wherever I am, I don't think it can be contained much as… created. No, no, that's not the word I'm looking for. Um… entered. Yeah, entered is better. I came into this place because of some really bad reality-bending accident and… no, no, Robert, don't be like that yet, you don't know if there's no exit yet. Ooooh… livin' on a prayer… halfway… there. Ahem.

Two months, eleven days, eighteen hours.

So… wait, no, Description, Robert, stick to the format… This place… It's some sort of reality gap, I think. It's dark. Really dark. As in, this little red light that shows my words are actually being recorded is the only visible light in this entire place. I can't see my hands, and I can barely see the control panel here. I've had to basically use the light as a center, and remember how many steps I take and in which direction. I haven't gone past a hundred yet. I'm too… I'm too scared to. Heh. I wonder if my hair is turning white, right now? I can't even see what color it is anymore. Speaking of which, my head has been a bit itchy recently. If I don't concentrate on it, it's fine, but I feel this… tingling all over my face. I'm not sure why.

Two months, fifteen days, four hours.

Okay… hoooo… I-I need to relax for a minute, Jesus, god, shit. Holy… shit, shit, shit… I… just discovered a new property of this place. All this time, I've been thinking I might be walking on… some sort of… flat ground, if you will. I kept eye contact with little red as far as I could see, and it seems I could walk in a straight, flat path. Jesus, my head is buzzing right now, I think the adrenaline is still kicking… But, if my hypothesis is correct, and this really is some sort of reality… void, then there shouldn't be anything to walk on. Now that I think about, the whole time I've been in here, it's felt like… I'm walking, but I'm also swimming through something. And this something is thick, and form-fitting, it has this… pressure, which I know isn't the correct term, but goddamn it, this place makes no damn sense and I'm doing my best to understand it, okay?!

God… Sorry.

So, the best analogy I can come up with is… it's like I'm walking through really thick black gel. There's enough tension to keep me on a… "surface", but if I… imagine myself pressing down hard enough, I can descend. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think… I think I need to test this more, I'll be back.

Two months, seventeen days, two hours.

Navigation is largely affected by… conscious impulses to travel in a certain direction. So, this definitely isn't a complete reality gap, at least according to mine and Anna's theories. If-if it were I wouldn't have been able to move at all, since space wouldn't have existed. Holy shit, okay, okay, this makes a lot more sense than it did before, great, great job, Robert, you're getting there. …Come to think of it, I should've realized that sooner when I was able to move in a flat plane to and from little red. It also explains why I'm not dead from dehydration or hunger yet, time barely passes in here. Okay yeah, so, I stood right next to little red, and went straight… "down." Okay, from here on out, imagine little red as the origin of a 3D space. I went straight… down, right, yeah, and then… and then I was then able to come back "up" to little red again. I've also been able to "fly" above red. Movement in here is slow, like I said, gel analogy, best I can describe it by.

Two months, twenty-two-days, three hours.

Reporting back for another update, red, SIR! Hahaha, come on red, lighten up. Ha! Pun not intended… Come on red, crack a little smile, it's funny!

…

… Fine, whatever. Ahem.

This place still seems like it barely follows Kejel's Laws of Reality Parameters. And by barely, I mean, really just barely. I'm pretty sure my math is right, but… hold on, I'm gonna check again…

Jesus. Yeah, yeah, pretty sure it's good still. Okay, this place… if we're using the standard Hume scale, I'm pretty sure I'm in a reality where the Hume Field is… point zero… four… ish. Yeah, really, really, really fucking low, so… Like I said above, space-time exists on a very minuscule scale, so my biology is not getting shot to hell and back because of any malnutrition, but that also means… I… I'm actually not sure what that also means…

…

Adding on from the last entry. I'm… I'm not sure how my biology will react in such a low Hume concentration, actually. I mostly worked with higher than average Hume Fields, and the reality benders we tested never had a Field lower than 0.8. This… this is gonna be a first. An all-time first. I remember Site-133's "Prommel Killer", they called it that because it broke the previous theory about the lowest limit of Hume concentration. Really expensive, really weird machine that brought down a small area to 0.4. 0.05 is… yeah.

I was lying. I was lying, last log… I… I'm lying to myself. My own body, and… little red here too… We're about the realest things in this place. And that means… over time… the Hume field's going to want to… equalize, and… I'm… I'm gonna go for now, I have some… some calculation to do again. Red, Anna, take note I'm using Kejel's Second, Third, and Fourth Laws, got it? Use… use 0.05 as the surrounding, my external field as… somewhere in between 1 and 1.4, use the Second Law's error estimation correction, and my internal as… as… as… shit. I'm not done yet.

I am real. I am super-real. Super duper real. Ultra real, the realest guy in a world of no-real.

You have no sense of humor as usual, red. I'm talking about the LSS, red. When we got sent here, I think… I think our reality got cranked up a notch. Red, didn't you pay attention in class? Hey, don't get fucking smart with me, red. Okay, the point is, the LSS surge got us up to… to…

Two months, eighteen days, seven hours.

No, red, not even fucking close, you must've converted Kejel's Third Law equation wrong. Because of the malfunctioning LSS we got blasted by, we're somewhere in between 2.2 and 3.6. Yes, that's good red, that's very good, because that means we have more time than we thought to… to… yes, red, before we fucking DIE, okay?!

Two months, twenty four days, five hours.

About three years. Four, if… If I don't interact too much. If… If I had had an LSS here, I could maybe stretch it out to… eight, maybe, that's best case scenario… But I have… I have to… I… know… but… but… three years. Three years, then it's past the point of no return. Ha. Hahahahaha. I should… I should definitely figure something out by then. I think I still should be pretty good for a while… At least… no, no, I won't be in here that long… I'll definitely figure something out…

Anna, what would we do with a case like this? I need your help, honey. That… that tingling I've been feeling… That's my Hume Field diffusing… My… my reality fading… Three years. I need to stabilize myself within three years.

I've been thinking… Anna and I, we had this theory… Even though the Hume Field is low, it's still a Hume Field. And precisely since it's so low, Hume diffusion should take quite a while. Now if… if I could… contain… recycle the fields, keep the diffusion from spreading too thin, I could… And I could also maybe… it's only a theory, but… It's worth a shot. But that means…

Hey, red. I… I'm gonna have to go for a bit. I want to test something, and you can't come with me. I… I'm sorry. No, no, red, I'm really, really sorry, I want you to come, I do, but… if we're together the diffusion will increase faster… We both need as much time as possible. I need to figure this place out more, and you need to make sure you keep all that info in your head. It's… red, come on. You- you'll be fine red, I know you will, you're tough. A lot tougher than me… it'll only be for a bit, red, but I need to see if I can find a way to keep us alive a bit longer. Maybe even get us out of here. If I can contain enough field, I can… I can maybe even get us out. No, no I'm not sure, but I need to find out. Red, we're talking about possibly escaping, okay? Yeah, it's a gap. A gap should have an end, like a… like the walls of a canyon, understand? I need to find a wall, and then, and then I can…

…

I'm sorry, red, I hope we're still friends when I come back.

…

I'm… I'm going now… I'll see you soon.

…

- Close.

Six months, ten days, five hours.

Hello again, little red. It's been a while.

You know… thinking back… I don't know what the hell I was so excited about. This place is… god, this place. This place is is fucking… hell.

There's no end. It just goes on. And on. And on.

I traveled in one goddamn direction for two, damn, months. God, I'm so fucking stupid, why did I think I could get out? I'm thinking like those old European shits that thought the end of the world was at the horizon. Fucking stupid, Robert, stupid, just-just- GAAAAAAAAAAAH—

If I let myself fall down long enough would I eventually hit a bottom?

Ten months, 28 days, 15 hours.

There's no bottom. And fuck you, red.

I'm sorry, red, don't go out, I'm sorry I turned you off, come back, come back, please—

… I turned 40 today. Happy birthday, Robert.

I was adopted, did you know that? Yeah, my parents left me in a box on the side of a street. Got picked up by some American couple, which explains my not-so-Chinese names. I don't even know my original last name. Just thought I'd share. How about you, red?

Anna and I met on-site in 1988. God she was beautiful. She still is. It was our eyes. She has beautiful eyes. My eyes are grey, they're boring, but hers… God they're beautiful. Do you think… Do you think she's still worried about me, little red? Is she looking for me?

You know, red, you're a great listener. But I never hear you talk about yourself. Come on, don't be shy, there's no one else around, right? Hahaha, right? Hahaha… hahahahaha…

"I'm sorry, Robert, I'm afraid I can't do that." Hahaha, red, you're hilarious.

Were you married? Kids? Any family at all? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Come on, red, I won't judge, just… talk to me, please. God, my head hurts. And my feet feel like they've been asleep for forever.

I worked at a comic store as a kid. So much cheaper back then, and I got free stuff at the end of each week. I liked Spiderman the best.

I was in a box, side of the street.

I… what the fuck… no. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, red, have you seen my picture? The picture red, Anna's picture, where is - come on, come on, where-where- Anna! ANNA! ANNA! Where did - no, no, no, no, no, please, please no, anything but, PLEASE.

It's fading, she's fading, she's fading, please, Anna, no, please, come on, sweetie, stay here, it's too soon, it's TOO SOON, my math isn't wrong, it's NOT WRONG, YOU SHOULD BE FINE. ANNA, ANNA, I can't hold you, come back, Anna, sweetie, honey, Anna please, I need you, I need you, please, please, don't go, I'm here, I'm still here. RED GET HELP. Anna, please, please, don't go, don't -

Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. Black hair, green eyes, 160. [Dr. Scranton repeats this for three hours.]

Anna and I got married in '91. We couldn't really get the nicest suit and dress we wanted because of work, but, damn, we both looked great. Anna looked better, of course. We just danced, and danced the whole night, got the whole week off. Even a job like mine lets you enjoy your honeymoon… So, come on red, open up, put 'er there, high five. Come on. Come on, red.

One year, two months, twenty-seven days.

…

…

AAAAAAA—

[The next recordings only play the control panel's automated voice giving times, with intervals of one to three days, with several month-long gaps in between as well; also intermixed are Dr. Scranton's sobbing, screaming, and mumbling. These recordings continue until the time reading reaches two years, seven months, and 28 days, after which they cease to pick up any sound until two months later.]

[tamiddyinyourcity]

7:23am.

I know I wanted to wake before eight, but this was a tad bit of a ridiculous way of getting what I asked for, similar to me wishing Rowan and I had similar sleep schedules. (A little twisted irony in him now being able to talk to me in the hours that I'm up, but now he's literally staying up till almost dawn and losing his mind..... Poor guy, I don't want him to suffer yknow?)

Uuuuuuuh my mom burst in like 15 minutes ago to be on her bullshit.

Luckily, it was a "sarcastic joke about 'huh, usually when people clean, it's supposed to get better.... not worse'" type of mood, and not a "shouting at you unconscious" type mood.

Still an annoying thing to wake up to, and she must've not expected me to wake up from hearing her say that. (You got a loud voice, course I'll wake up.)

And she was also being Annoying Horror Movie Antagonist again by getting close to me just to COUGH ON MY WATER BOTTLE AND AROUND ME WITHOUT COVERING HER MOUTH..

WHAT DOES SHE NOT GET ABOUT "germaphobe daughter purposely self isolating is absolutely terrified of getting avoidable disease that youre putting yourself at risk of getting every day?"

She gave me 40 bucks. Its bittersweet, since I expectef 28 dollars, due to asking for her to exchange some quarters into dollars for me.

Just for her to add "i threw in extra, since I owed you last month for the BJs!" (Its the name of a restaurant, to any perverted dumb idiot reading this, lmfao.)

But the BJs was 22.64....... 22.64 + 28 does not equal 40 bucks, maam, and honestly its a little more annoying with the "its ten dollars or more missing" stuck in my head.

And above all else, she told me she would PayPal it! What stupid ass goes "cool, I'm terrible at covering my mouth and washing my hands for anything ever, but let me maneuver my way across the messy and unwalkable tundra that is my Germaphobe Daughter's Bedroom Floor (after a night of deep cleaning, so shush,) and not only put the money on the books and items she owns, but COUGH on her as I leave.... despite agreeing to PayPal her, the night before."

The rules of social distancing, covering your mouth when you cough, and using credit cards or Paypal as opposed to spreading the virus through cash, looking at my idiot mother:

......

It's like this bitch went, "let's give it my ALL in the stupid department TODAY!"

I'm actually so mad right now.

Why even give me cash? Yknow, especially now amongst the "use strictly credit cards" era....

I'm pissed.

I'm gonna go ahead and piss, then disenfect anything ever and boil my face.

Christ.

7:43am. This was a bad idea, mother, and you made shit harder for no reason again. And at least return the RIGHT amount of cash.

Its too early for me to be optimistic when i think she was really stupid.

Peace out.

[that-gay-jedi]

Warmth! Either the room can be warm or I can be very, very swaddled in blankets but I'll die of exhaustion before I manage to fall asleep when I'm cold, and if it gets cold enough while I'm already asleep I'll unfortunately wake up. I can still fall asleep even if I'm uncomfortably hot which I've heard is quite rare.

Silence, like not "quiet" but actual SILENCE. I tried getting used to background noise, white noise, music etc but after turning 25 I was like "Nah my brain is fully developed now, if I'm not used to it I'm not gonna be used to it" and accepted myself the way I inconveniently am lmao. The only exceptions are heavy rain and thunderstorms, and the kind of animal background noise you hear when you're 40+ minutes away from your nearest neighbour.

I can sleep through dim to moderate light, I prefer total darkness though. Ideally not even the lil blinking lights on electronics. I have to be very sick/sedated/rundown to be able to sleep while the sun is up, but I live somewhere that if you could only sleep in full dark you'd be miserable half the year (or more).

I'm also very fortunate to be able to fall asleep even if I'm very anxious or under stress, which I suspect is one of life's little apologies for having grown up in a home where violence could erupt at any moment. I've been wondering lately if it's a skill I could teach if I pay enough attention to what's going on in my mind when I do that. Likewise, I can wake up from a full on PTSD nightmare and just go back to sleep like normal, and there's a sizable fraction of bad dreams I just don't remember bc most people only remember dreams they wake up from.

tell me

[mythicthread]

pre-snow

I've been trying to journal a bit more regularly, but the everyday day-in-the-life didn't seem interesting enough to write about. But who cares, really, if it's just for me anyway? It's good writing exercise, in any case.

So, here's today:

I woke up still groggy because we were in bed by 9 pm last night-- which is pretty early!-- and I slept, but I didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned at least a few times every hour, but I woke up and stayed up sometime before 7 am.

K had to go out and get coffee first thing, so he picked up some bacon biscuits for breakfast. We ate and did our usual morning routine, slowly getting into the work flow for the day. I'm working on a write up for the history of st. patrick's day for work, and I wrote on that for a while before some weird brain fog turned on after lunch... I made pizza and watched youtube before K ran an out of town errand and I decided to lay down. The brain fog turned into fatigue and I got dizzy/queasy, so I took youtube to the bedroom and watched on my laptop. I think I dozed in and out a few times for a total of 30 minutes, after which I just got up and waited for K to get home.

We decided we were both feeling too sleepy to cook, so we ordered some hibachi (for the first time in over a year!) and had a nice dinner. I felt some energy from getting food, but that was quickly replaced by the feeling of being too full (despite not overeating) and, again, sleepy. I need to make some more changes, apparently. It's 9:40 pm now, and I just got the urge to write since I haven't been able to make myself do anything else all day.

It'd be nice to do little multi-sections of blog throughout the day... kind of as a way to check in with myself and check things off the list, or just to get my hands & brain working again. Recently I've been feeling the pull of returning back to negative thought patterns and behaviors, and I've not been liking the way that makes me feel. I don't know what's driven me back to these things, but at least I can recognize that they are old habits I wanted-- and still want-- to kick, so it shouldn't be too hard to cut them out and keep them out for good.

I also found some writing (fiction) that reignited that spark... I'm just gonna have to see where that one goes for now. I think I've exhausted my brain again for five minutes... we'll see if I have the spoons tomorrow to do a multi 'check-in' post with myself.

x

[silentfcknhill]

hey I've seen you reblog stuff about drugs and stuff and I just wanted to ask what narcatics were you into? random and blunt question but just curous. I'm having a hard time lately... drinking but I'm trying to quit with with it now and just started weed. I just feel like it's neve gonna be better, you know? shit I so okay for so long and then it all goes to fucking hell again. I'm sorry for unloading like this....

It’s okay, I hope you don’t mind if I ramble a long-ass answer. I was mainly addicted to drugs that were not traditionally considered addictive physically, just psychologically. My main drugs of choice were weed, acid, mushrooms and occasionally molly. I never had a huge problem with alcohol, as in I didn’t drink often but when I did I went way overboard and would often mix drugs that would make me very ill. Weed was okay for me at first before I went overboard and was spending hundreds a month, and I am not completely anti-weed like some people in NA, but I think there are people who can and can’t handle it mentally. I can’t. If you have mental health issues, especially anxiety (though I’ve seen some people it can help their anxiety), paranoia, dissociation, derealization or hallucinations/problems with reality to begin with, it is like playing with fire. I’m not saying you should panic, everyone has different reactions, but I could never smoke again after the bad acid trips and ego deaths I’ve had. Too many flashbacks. And I got serotonin syndrome a lot. I quit using 17 months ago and I’m still dealing with effects like visual fractals, a new worldview and mood problems. 

For about a year I was suicidal and having panic attacks every day, and I had to work double shifts while crying and vomiting (quiting was not an option because we are too poor and I did not want to be homeless again, especially in that condition). It takes a while for your brain to recover and learn to produce it’s own serotonin after smoking weed every day for two years, so there is a major depression that occurs when you get clean. I lost my appetite for a couple months, and also couldn’t sleep on my own. Drugs were basically my go-to for every minor inconvenience, so learning to be a person again and deal with problems directly was difficult. I became extremely paranoid while detoxing. I also lost all interest in everything, I experienced no joy and only dread, terror and depression. My obsessions such as movies and music were no longer enough to enjoy, I needed to experience them on absurd amounts of psychedelics and meditate on them and see them from weird perspectives to appreciate them. I have started gaining back my appreciation for the little things in life again by now. 

The hardest part for me was coming to terms with the fact that I will never be the same as I was before ever again, and now I just have to adjust. It sucks that I was a teenager while this was happening, and my brain was still developing, so now it became a part of my youth and shaped my personality a lot. But I try to think of it positively, because now I have a new chance to become a better person, I have a fresh start and not many people can have a second chance after fucking up and having no common sense. I am lucky to have not gotten into any legal trouble, though a lot of relationships were destroyed, I really deserved it. I am not trying to self-pity, but it is a fact that I have suffered beyond words and been to hell (I’m not religious but to me hell is a psychological state of torment and existential darkness and lack of reality), but I have also grown as a person and become exponentially more self-aware, empathetic, introspective and accepting of my defects. 

I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel it will never get better. When you’re in darkness it effects your whole perception and sense of reality and colors every area of life. We lose our memory of anything good ever. Kind of like a Dementor from harry Potter has sucked out our soul, which Dementors incidentally were written by JK Rowling as an analogy of her depression (Sorry for random reference, I am a fan of Harry Potter). But we are both still young, well I am and I assume you are as well as I don’t know many elderly people on Tumblr, and time changes things. Time doesn’t heal, but it does give you the opportunity to heal and grow. Nothing will ever magically heal, we will always be addicts, but you will have good days, and some very good days and memories, and those are worth riding through the bad to get to. It is very difficult to keep perspective, but I spent a couple years of my life on drugs. I have 70 years left ahead of me, best case scenario. This is not the end at all. 

I have seen people successfully drink and smoke and not become upset or addicted, but I have Asperger’s and BPD and I was foolish to ignore the sensitivities and chances I was taking and I put my trust into the wrong influences and people. I have developed my own coping mechanisms throughout my life, because addiction was obviously not the first and only trauma I’ve been through, I’ve been having issues since being a toddler basically including emotional violent abuse from the time I was born, sexual assault, personal deaths, bullying, self-harm and mental illness, having parents who are mentally ill and unstable and dealing with their suicide threats as a child, divorce, homelessness, murderers in the family, robbery, knife attacks, being a therapist to my mother, trying to stay objective as she described to me her post-partum depression involving demons telling her to throw me off a balcony and molest me, multiple suicide attempts of my own including a horrendous overdose, multiple hospitalizations, medications, dating a man in his 40’s as a young teen, being cheated on twice, coming to grips with my LGBT identity, and much more. I grew up in a fantasy world, always acting and playing pretend even to this day, I live my life through the eyes of my favorite characters, even while alone. AT this point it is very easy for me to detach from my emotions and reality and observe my own suffering as though I was a character in a movie or something. This is also why I have a decent tolerance to pain. I just view it as an experience, a memory. Time is really an illusion, so when I am hurt, I just remember that in a few hours it will be like nothing ever happened. 

Also, the one most important message I took from NA is probably the simplest, and most people don’t give it a second thought because it’s just a cliche to them, but when you really meditate on it and practice it, you realize how incredibly true and helpful it is: “One day at a time.” And that motto is a principle, not have to take it literally. I know for a lot of people, myself included, it can be more like one minute at a time, but you really gotta try to keep priorities in sight and self-care when need be. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to help yourself but go to sleep all day. It is fine to do that. I have trained myself to fall asleep relatively quickly using deep, controlled stomach breathing and and stims and mental focus patterns such as waterfalls, space travel, etc, movement that stays constant and is relaxing. Music helps too, but only without lyrics. There are a lot of sound pieces on youtube and stuff made for relaxing, like the sound of rain, or nature like the ocean or amazon. Whatever suits you. It is handy to have an off button like a computer sometimes. You just shut down and reboot. 

I’m not saying it is healthy to be avoidant, and I definitely have shut down and become very robotic as of late, but it is highly preferable to the alternative for me until when/if I learn better skills. You will hopefully feel better when you wake up, whether it was physical anxiety or mental or both. Plus, scientifically, sleep and dreaming is when our brains process information and memories, so we may come to familiarize ourselves with unknown fears or stresses while we sleep and wake up more able to deal with them rationally without the fight or flight. One day at a time ties in to a concept we call “the triangle of self-obsession”, and it relates to how living in the past causes resentments, focusing on negatives in the present causes anger, and fear stems from living in the future. One day at a time, take shit as it comes and don’t cross bridges before you get to them. of course, planning still is good but we must be flexible and not place our whole mental state on something that hasn’t happened yet. Anger roots back to fear, fear roots back to lack of control, and once we accept that we really cannot control everything and be omnipresent and all-knowing puppetmasters, we become more humble. 

I myself have come to terms with the fact that I am very narcissistic. I never thought I was, due to low self-esteem, but it only recently occurred to me that being narcissism is usually just a symptom of low self-esteem anyways, and it is just expressed differently. Some people build massive egos and brag. For me, my narcissism forms through being self-centered and selfishly focused on my own problems. Some people focus daily on distinguishing whether they are living and acting on their own will or their higher power’s will, and adjusting their behavior accordingly, because living on our own will is what got us in this position in the first place. I don’t really have a higher power in the traditional sense at this point, but it is still good to be mindful that I am not the center of everything, and that even though I claim to be open-minded, I am still just as judgmental and hypocritical as anyone else, I just express and experience it in different ways. Anyways, long tangent, no one cares, I will shut up now. I am kind of a basketcase, but if you need to talk, you can message or dm me anytime.

[mikeyg1985-blog]

Hits & Misses: Some albums that I really wanted to review but I'm a slacker so . . .

Linkin Park - One More Light

 Everyone freaked out when Linkin Park decided to go mainstream pop with their first single, 'Heavy,' from their new album, One More Light.  I'll be honest, the change in sound made them unrecognizable and I rolled my eyes at the desperate attempt for relevancy. 

I liked Hybrid Theory; loved Meteora; and  still believe that Minutes to Midnight is one of the most underrated rock album of the 2000's. I didn't understand what the big deal of them going 'pop' was - to me, they had always been a pop band or at least embraced their pop sensibilities. Sure, hiring Justin Bieber's writers isn't the most 'rock' thing to do - but there's no need for all of the homophobic slurs being shouted at them by their 'fans.' 

I anticipated One More Light because I trust Linkin Park - I've enjoyed all of their albums (except for The Hunting Party - which I totally forgot existed).  One More Light is lighter pop version of Minutes to Midnight minus the immediate memorable performances. I don't think this album will be considered underrated nor do I think that anything on it will be considered a classic in 5 years for their army. But I have to say that I am on board for whatever this little 'experiment' is for them - as long as it doesn't last more than one album cycle. Because, while the album is littered with Top 10 studio gimmicks, Linkin Park is at the heart of each song.

My biggest critique is that there should have been no need to collaborate with Pusha T or Stormzy on 'Good Goodbye' when they have Mike Shinoda. 

Also, they were smart clocking the album at 35 minutes.

Check out: 'Nobody Can Save Me,' 'Heavy,' 'One More Light'

Grade: B+

Father John Misty "Pure Comedy"

I joined the Father John Misty bandwagon really late - at least 9 months after I Love You, Honeybear was released. It made my top albums list of 2015 and I stand by that. However, I really haven't been able to connect with Pure Comedy much at all. 

I like the 'we're too connected to entertainment and that's how Donald Trump got elected President and we're all going to hell' idea, I dig his take on being Elton John  - but Misty also happens to be an asshole who makes good music. Too much of his own narcissism fills the last half of the album and I haven't returned to Pure Comedy since.

I respect the challenge of knowing that everything we know is wrong - but I just don't feel like being lectured for an hour and fourteen minutes nor do I find diving into Tillman's psyche for thirteen minutes that interesting.

Check out: "Pure Comedy," "Total Entertainment Forever," and "Ballad of a Dying Man." 

GRADE: D-

Blondie - Pollinator

Blondie's new album, Pollinator, should have instantly made my top albums list. First single, "Fun," was pretty pleasing and buzz singles, "Long Time" and "My Monster" were just as good. I liked the idea that Debbie and company had a lot of help from newer acts because honestly - they needed it. The days of Blondie releasing albums like Parallel Lines and Eat to the Beat are long gone and while there are awkward moments ('Already Naked') the album is harmless fun. 

First track, "Doom or Destiny," perfectly blends Debbie Harry and Joan Jett's vocals and starts the album off with a bang that continues for roughly five songs ('Long Time', 'Already Naked,' 'Fun,' 'My Monster').

So what could possibly kill an entire album, you may ask? Mmmmmmm . . . how about vocals that completely out of tune with the music. I don't know exactly who didn't let Blondie know that her vocals were off key throughout the whole song, but they should be fired and blacklisted from the music industry. Part of me also wonders if they accidentally released the wrong version of the song. And for the life of me, I have no idea why this wasn't pointed out by critics across the board. 'Best Day Ever' is un-listenable and kind of ruins the rest of the album which is full of mixed results. 

Check out: The first 4 songs.

GRADE: D

 Harry Styles - Harry Styles

I was never a fan of One Direction but I was a little intrigued to hear Harry Styles' self-titled debut album.  I mean, honestly out of all of the members putting out solo efforts, he was the only one who seemed remotely able to pull of an entire solo album.

I think releasing 'Sign of the Times' as the first solo single was pretty risky. Not only is it a ballad but it also shares the same title of a beloved Prince album/single - and I just thought that was a ballsy move. I didn't love 'Sign of the Times' - it had the same two melody lines during its five minute length - but I was a little bit more intrigued to hear the whole album.

Harry Styles is kind of a miss for me although I think it is an enjoyable album.  It sounds like absolutely nothing that is being played on the radio today and also sheds any Top 40 sounds. What it does sound like is Pink Floyd, Elton John, John Lennon, U2 and Oasis. I'm kind of surprised that Pink Floyd hasn't filed a suit for 'Meet Me in the Hallway' ripping off 'Breathe (In The Air)'. 

It's not just that if I want to listen to Pink Floyd, I'll listen to Pink Floyd or if I wanted to listen to John Lennon, I'll listen to John Lennon - it's that the lyrical depth of those artist and Harry Styles is just so drastic - and at the end of Harry Styles I've not learned anything about him beyond his musical influences - and that's a missed opportunity to really disclose who he really is. 

Check out: 'Sign of the Times'

GRADE: C

Paramore - After Laughter

Paramore's new album, After Laughter, came out of nowhere. Four years after their self-titled fourth album, first single 'Hard Times' showed up and After Laughter was released a little over a month later - it all seemed a bit rushed and I was convinced that After Laughter was nothing more than an obligation to their record label in order to fulfill their contract . . . well . . . for Hailey anyway.

It's sad - but Paramore has a rocky history regarding the comings and goings of their lineup and while it's easy to point the finger at Williams for basically the entire original lineup to walk away from a band at its peak - it kind of feels like Williams is truly the one who has sacrificed. I mean, she technically could have gone solo after Paramore's debut, All We Know is Falling and kept the fame and fortune to herself - but she didn't.

I initially passed on After Laughter. If another band claims evolution by ripping off the '80s, I'm gonna scream. But what is fascinating about After Laughter is its stark contrast of sunny beats and sullen lyrics. Williams truly seems to be over being the jolly frontman and isn't trying to hide behind orange hair and a smile. Instead, she gets pretty fucking honest that she's exhausted by the drama and seemed downright sad during the band's Beats1 interview with Zane Lowe. 

In order to really appreciate After Laughter, you have to really know the history of Paramore . . . pretty much the same as hearing the self-titled third album. On its surface, it's about ten tracks of 'Ain't It Fun' and a few 'The Only Exception.' But if you peel back production, there's a lot going on with Williams that she's trying to work out through the only therapy she knows - songwriting. 

There are a few missteps. 'Rose-Colored Boy' is kind of annoying and 'No Friend' really isn't a great idea at all.

Check out: 'Fake Happy,' 'Told You So,' '26,' 'Pool'

GRADE: A-

 Dreamcar - Dreamcar

For those who don't know - the guys from No Doubt and AFI's Davey Havok got together and formed a supergroup for all the emo kids in their 30s. Dreamcar is a fun ride and probably an album you could blast all summer long and not get bored with it.  

The album's first single, 'Kill For Candy,' is a sugar-induced bop that could very well be a sleeper hit and the rest of the album follows suit. There isn't a bad song on Dreamcar, although there are references to 'candy,' 'candy girls,' 'girls on the charts,' 'dead girls,' and . . . 'gum boys'. I'm not sure what any of that means. 

But the reason that Dreamcar works so well is that it's a low stakes album. Davey and the boys have made their names and their money. Dreamcar is pure adoration and tribute to '80s influences - most notably Duran Duran.  And it's an album that my kids can stomach and ask to listen to constantly. 

Check out: all of it.

GRADE: B

LP - Lost on You

Thank the Lord! LP has finally blown up in everywhere but the US. Lost on You has been released overseas since fall of 2016 and finally making its way stateside albeit with absolutely no promotion from Vagrant Records. 

I love LP's music. Her last album, Forever for Now, was a top contender for the #1 spot of my top albums list in 2014. I've followed her since and know that the song, 'Lost On You' is a few years old. But, a Greek radio station started playing the song and all of a sudden LP was a bonafide star! 

The U.S. version of Lost On You has added some tracks and is a cohesive set that proves how much of an underrated talent LP truly is. We (the States) really need to get on the ball and give this artist the recognition LP deserves because it is high time 'Lost on You' saturated our radio stations.

And Vagrant needs to release this gem on vinyl, pronto!

Check out: 'Lost On You', 'Muddy Waters', 'Other People'

GRADE: A

Incubus - 8

I feel like 2017 is the year for all of my favorite early 2000's bands to make comeback albums. 

S.C.I.E.N.C.E., Make Yourself and Morning View all have their places in my Favorite Albums of All-Time list, but their last three releases have really left a lot to be desired. There seemed to have been a hunger that just kind of died down in them and their last album, If Not Now, When pretty much put me to sleep. 

I wasn't impressed by first single, 'Nimble Bastard', at all. It reminded me of anything Alanis Morissette released after Jagged Little Pill - trying way too hard and never ever reaching the same kind of genius. Thankfully (and I can't believe I'm saying this) Skrillex got his hands on the album and beefed it up a bit. The first few bars of first track, 'No Fun' actually sound like Incubus from their S.C.I.E.N.C.E. days.  Whether the album had a drastic change from Skrillex's collaborative effort, I don't know but 8 is a welcome return from a band I've been waiting to light a fire under their ass. 

There's nothing too surprising here - no political statements - Incubus plays it pretty safe. But, I think that's okay because 8 sounds like a band that has finally rediscovered that passion, confidence and drive (HA!) that once made them a great band. 

Check out: 'State of the Art,' 'Loneliest,' 'Throw Out The Map'

GRADE: B+