#it's not funny guys the fact that he's not real causes me physical pain

[eyesoiree]

i need eyeless jack's boobs

in my face. now.

[pinkhairswagtourney]

i need some serious help/guidance. i feel like a failure. i don't know where to turn – my family is part of the problem and they don't care about helping me, i don't have any IRL friends that i can ask for help from, and i've been so busy dealing with all my IRL shit that i've drifted away from any of my online friends. i've applied everywhere in my town that's hiring, and i mean EVERYWHERE. either i get aired from the jump, or i get a call back, ask for accommodations during the interview, and then never hear back from them. i feel like a lost cause. i can't continue to ask you guys for help forever, but i don't have anywhere to turn to IRL. without donos + commissions, i would actually be dead by now. i'm not kidding. my family doesn't give a fuck if i'm struggling or not, in fact they put me in positions where they KNOW i will struggle. they don't care. my parents never taught me how to do ANYTHING. every practical skill that i know how to do is self taught. they've literally set me up for failure in every aspect. they didn't help me with homework when i was younger, they didn't help me learn how to read or write, they didn't teach me how to socialize and make friends, they didn't teach me how to drive, how to cook, how to clean, how to apply for jobs, how to do taxes, how to do anything at all. and when it comes to the physical aspect, they knew that i was toe walking from a young age and didn't take me to a doctor because it was "cute" and "funny" how i walked on my tip toes all the time and i was so "clumsy" because i had no balance. the window for non-surgical remedies has closed, and now the only thing that can fix it is surgery, that i definitely can't afford, even on insurance, and i'm going to fall off of my parent's insurance next year when i turn 26. the toe walking has led to chronic pain in my feet, legs, hips, and back, and that, coupled with my fibromyalgia, makes just existing feel impossible sometimes. there are days where i don't want to move from my bed because my entire body feels inflamed. even if i were to get hired, how am i supposed to hold a job like that??? i don't know how to file for disability but i know that i need to, as soon as i can. i genuinely don't know what to do. i'm stuck in this house full of people who use me as a personal punching bag, mentally and verbally and physically. i have to keep my room locked at all times or people will steal from me or destroy my belongings. i can't even keep my insulin or food in the public fridge because my brother has destroyed my insulin with a hammer before, and my food will get eaten even if i label it, so i had to buy a mini fridge for my room. my brother shoved me down the stairs last year and my knee is permanently damaged from it, and that was somehow my fault. the only time anyone is talking to me in a kind way is when they want me to do something for them, and if i don't agree to do it, then all hell breaks loose, i've been screamed at, slapped, kicked, had things thrown at me, spit on, belongings destroyed, holes punched in the wall beside my head with a threat that next time it'll be my face. to the point that i just agree to run their errands and do their chores most of the time anymore. in fact, even though i pay my dad car insurance money every month, 9 out of 10 times he won't let me use the car for my personal reasons (doctor, store, pharmacy) unless i'm also doing something for them. they treat me like a child. no, they treat me like an object. but i'm supposed to be an adult. to be honest, i don't feel like an adult. i don't feel like a real person at all. i don't exist outside of this house or these blogs. i could disappear and only a handful of people would actually notice.

i want to do more than just survive by the skin of my teeth. i want to live, i want to thrive, i want friends, i want a sense of community, i want to feel loved and cherished, i want to be hugged. i can't remember the last time i was hugged. i don't know why i wrote all of this. i think it's a cry for help. i need someone to hold my hand through the process and tell me what to do because i have no idea where to turn. i don't know what the next step is. i know the things i need to do, but i don't know how to do them. i need to pay off my court fees, i need to buy my own car, i need to file for disability, i need to file for food stamps, i need to apply for a tax credit apartment so i can finally get out of this house. i'm just too stupid to figure it out on my own. with the constant swath of bills and no consistent income, it feels like i'm drowning and i'm never going to be able to get out of this situation. i can't do this alone. i need help. i'm so tired guys

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hello dear. Hope you are well. I am not sure how best to articulate my thoughts but here we go. It's very very long but you inspired me today. You've been a beacon of change in questioning and challenging ITV. I wanted to quip in. Hope you don't mind. Arnav anger is often excused as coming from trauma and his 'grey/anti-hero' character is often glamorized. He is without a doubt compelling and attractive. Plus, he has his strengths such as honesty and forthrightness.

Ok, so this is a LONG question with a lot of your own analysis and I wouldn't touch that at all cause analyzing is a beautiful thing and I wouldn't want to add/remove from your lovely analysis. I'll just be adding some of my thoughts here and there :D

(rest of the ask below)

His greyness amplifies a lot of the hypermasculine stereotypical traits such as aggression, strength, power etc. In the narrative like in Kabir Singh this makes us discount the wrongs when perhaps his treatment of Khushi in many ways in similar. Rather we swoon over his charm when in reality most 'charming' men have similar shades and unfortunately, never change. The sense of entitlement and the joy of wielding power over others is observed in abusive men.

Tbh though, Arnav doesn't have any charm. Shyam has all the charm in the world and that's interesting considering he's a villain.

Often we excuse this behavior by comparing them to worse portrayals when again abuse usually escalates with time. For example, at least Arnav didn't violate Khushi's consent. How different were Shyam and Arnav? Weren't they both ultimately two sides of the same coin? Isn't this afterall a way to build tolerance towards worse behavior? Shyam is the 'bad' guy because he plans things deliberately, but aren't Arnav's actions also not something he is accountable for?

Fun fact, Arnav and Shyam were written to mirror each other in multiple situations. It was very intentional of the creators to draw a thin line between the anti-hero and villain and to be honest, at one point we all simply believed Arnav is the hero of the story only because he is Khushi's choice.

I wish Arnav's actions were far more accountable for - hence the guesthouse and resignation scenes are some of my favorites.

We don't talk much about Arnav and Anjali here. They are incredibly close, but the co-dependency is discernible. He is obligated to her for being the 'mother' but she is his first and Khushi the second. It does perhaps from trauma but Anjali has a lot of control over Arnav and he is guilt-ridden if she is hurt. We blame Khushi for her mistakes but do we ever consider that it is her desparation to receive unconditional love which is missing.

Arnav and Anjali have developed codependency over their trauma -which is what Shyam exploits.

Coming to Khushi, she is often criticized for her world revolving around Arnav, being infantilized, that she should 'stand up' etc. However, it's not a new fact that abusive relationships can be incredibly difficult to leave and can have a huge physical and emptional impact on a person's self-esteem. Is this not victim blaming? We also dismiss the impact Arnav's family has on Khushi. Anjali,Akash,Dadi -all had a role to play as their support was conditional or inadequate.

Hmm interesting. To share my opinion and take on this - my gripe with Khushi rarely comes from considering her and Arnav as real people and assessing their relationship as such. My gripe is with the writing in the show coming to Khushi. Khushi recessing to childlike behavior is a signal of trauma that @honeybellexox had once brilliantly discussed.

But the show is not portraying the delicate pained layers of emotions you described. The rest of the family is left out to hype TRP forced romance or family politics (not plot) and Khushi's weight of being in an abusive relationship is seriously traded for terrible writing which things suicide is funny, pissing off an abusive husband is hilarious.

We do not SEE Khushi's behavior as a response to a terrible marriage. We are made to see this is how Khushi is 'one upping' against Arnav by irritating him the way she poured juice in his shoes. And wow how intelligent.

There's no depth, no gravity, nothing in Khushi. She becomes hollow - not because of the pain you aptly put above - but due to a very Star Plus enforced 'bahu' trope.

Victim blaming would be wondering why Khushi didn't shove Shyam off the terrace scene and froze when Shyam hugged her - no, any reaction she had at that point is absolutely justified!

But wondering why Khushi acts around Arnav post revelation that she is having an affair of Shyam instead of providing facts or actual reasonings is a flaw in the show. Why? Because the intention of the show at that point was to ensure that Arnav's misunderstanding does not break and he is 'justified' in the audience's eye to mistreat Khushi. Now that is a problem.

The complication of Payal being married into the same family, lack of societal, financial and family support almost meant that Khushi had no choice but to humor situations and find happiness in meaningless trivalities. He child-like behavior and adherence to patriarchal traditions/rituals was her only resort to be accepted. That is so ingrained in her mind, that any attempt to tilt the balance might cause her more problems. Perhaps Khushi's character arc was realistic.

I absolutely wish the show showed the nuance you are writing. Her dancing to Nani for Holi was beautiful - it conveys everything you're saying. Her force-feeding Arnav mid meeting, forbidding anyone to give him food, then eating up food that can feed upto five people and still tasting the food before she gives him to eat is... ridiculous and demeaning as a character.

I do disagree with you on Khushi's arc because her arc, after a moment, is stunted to serve Arnav as a character. An excellent character that displays everything you wrote is Gauri from Ishqbaaz. They lend her the grace and gravity that one can only dream of in Khushi.

(I'll show it to you!!! You'll absolutely love it - it's a solid recommend from @aye-masakalii)

It wasn't the lack of strength or that she had certain traits. Her reality and worth had been controlled, toyed with and manipulated that she no longer could see things clearly which made her sink deeper into the marriage. Should the IPK writers be criticized for mirroring the reality many women still live in or is it an eye-opener which makes us very uncomfortable in acknowleding the sad reality that many women meet the same fate?

Our innate optimism makes us favor the idealized world that Arnav and Khushi were a fairytale. Perhaps they do end up being together but is that the only yardstick to measure marriage? More questions than answers, but isn't is critical to shift the repsonisbility towards Arnav rather than victim-blame Khushi? Love, RDX

I loved your analysis, and if the writing hadn't been so flat and actually conveyed everything you wrote - I would've never wanted Arnav and Khushi together.

Lol, maybe that's why my edits and fanfics exist.

Arnav needed to be held more accountable and Khushi needed to be written further as an independent character - these are perhaps some of my main grievances against the show only because they proved they could do it.

Best,

Soapy

[leaf-kei]

I wish u hadn’t hidden this take in the tags bc it’s SO TRUE!!

A character doing bad things doesn't necessarily KNOW they’re bad or enjoy being evil. Characters can have a totally different perception of morality than the audience and people around them… imo, Medic’s kindness doesn’t conflict with his medical malpractice because he genuinely doesn’t think it’s mean to experiment on his friends or cause them pain. Because he’s completely confident in his methods and ultimate goals, experimentation is care to him; healing someone’s wounds and stabbing their heart in an attempt to supercharge it are basically the same thing.

TF2’s canon material is always trying to emphasize the funny contrast between Medic’s genuine sweetness and the gory way he expresses it. Here are a few examples off the top of my head to convince anyone reading this lol:

Meet the Medic is basically all about Heavy coming to realize (and accept) this fact about Medic over the course of his über surgery. Medic naturally flicks between being an amicable doctor and a mad scientist; he’s literally both things at the same time.

Spy’s head in the fridge is obviously a horrifying abomination, but Medic’s apparently given him a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray to keep him occupied. The idea that a small comfort like that could cancel out the harm he's caused shows how little Medic appreciates the gravity of what he does to people.

The maniacal laughter as Heavy’s heart charges up followed seamlessly by a cheerful “oh! That looks good!”

He chides Heavy for being a baby when his rib breaks—he doesn’t see the suffering he causes to people he likes as real or important (either because of insanity, his desensitization to medical pain, or both)

In the Gargoyles & Gravel comic, Medic experiments on a guy who tried to mug him in an alley, but he does it in a very specific way.

He must understand on some level that having your brain separated from your body is somewhat uncomfortable, so he seeks out a subject who he thinks could do with a bit of punishment. However, once the procedure’s over, Medic calls pumpkin guy “my beautiful creation” and “my little monster,” terms of endearment that seem genuine paired with his good-natured smile… he even says the latter in German, basically talking to himself.

Medic keeps emphasizing that this new existence as a pumpkin is a positive change and a chance for the mugger to turn his life around—that’s obviously insane, but I think Medic genuinely believes it, seeing what he did as both a mild punishment and a gift. When pumpkin guy retorts that he’s gonna kill him, Medic’s disappointed that the procedure didn’t fix his criminality, not even considering that his anger could be a RESULT of what he did. That little exchange really reveals how Medic sees his own work imo… if someone told him his experiments were evil, he’d probably respond with confusion, shrugging it off as them simply not understanding the reality of the situation.

It’s worth mentioning that in the end, the pumpkin guy becomes a mob boss, kinda vindicating Medic’s actions. Thinking abt this plotline is making me so uncomfortable but THE COMIC DOESN’T TAKE THE BODY HORROR SERIOUSLY AT ALL OK

His second opinion cosmetic makes the contrast between his kindness and cruelty literally physical. He responds to S.O.’s evil lines in a level-headed and friendly way, and gets annoyed at S.O. in the way you’d get annoyed at a sibling.

Even the TF Comics, which seem to really enjoy the heehoo evil doctor aspect of Medic, have to acknowledge the disconnect between his outward behavior and actual personality; when Sniper calls him out for looking super evil, it turns out that he was actually just happy. That’s how Medic smiles! Smug and evil!

…The only thing that throws a wrench into this read is that he threatens his opponents with medical experimentation during combat, lol. All his in-game voice lines are about how he’s going to cut his enemies apart, how his procedures are excruciating, etc… if you listened to his voice lines and nothing else, you would end up with the common fanon interpretation of Medic as an evil sadist, so I kinda get it. Are these voice lines at odds with his characterization in other canon media? I don’t know, maybe… I wonder if his nice-guy complexity was only decided on later during Meet the Medic’s production, and he originally WAS a more straightforward violent maniac…

In the end, I guess you could read the times he shows kindness to others as just an act or a sadistic taunt or manipulation, but I dunno, that’s just much less interesting to me than a character that has some conceptual contrast at the core of him. There’s so little canon content to go off of that you can kinda read all TF2 characters any way you want (which is cool!), but personally I hope the sweet aspects of Medic are preserved in any future stuff from Valve.

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

[misspearly1]

The thought of Joel miller which is a very huge, blunt and very stoic and menacing man who, because you catch his eye he tried to come off and even more tough, but charming will do small gestures for you and you’re just smiling at this giant man and you say, “you’re very cute.” and he’s taken aback, “What?!” and he’s RED

Hehehe I like this concept Nonnie, I'm terribly sorry for how long I have taken to answer this wonderful request of yours, thank you for being patient with me and I loves ya 💜🥰

Pairing: Joel Miller x YOU (there's use of Y/N in this fic too)

WC: 2K

Warnings: Not a whole lot, just violence - near death experiences with infected. Wild speculations/rumours from townsfolk about Joel. (nothing drastic, quite funny actually)

Authors note to Nonnie: I would have written more my love, I just wasn't too sure how you wanted this fic to go in general. So I set up a little plot and scene around your prompts to begin with, I'm liking this inward, closed off Joel. Let me know how you like it, I wouldn't be opposed to writing more of him this way 💜😁

════════════

Today was going to be a good day.

You know it is. You can feel that it’s going to be good. Why? Because it’s Monday. New beginnings and fresh starts, it’s a new day, to a new week, and what better way to start that week with a patrol accompanied by the one and only, Joel Miller.

Joel is a blunt and straightforward man. With a stoic silence that clings to him, although you catch glimpses of him, the real him, he is a man that emits clear strength. Mental and physical strength, visual too. A large man, with large arms and muscles, he is tough. Menacingly tough.

Joel could kill a clicker inches away from his face and go about the rest of his day like he wasn't just inches away from death. Suppose that is what twenty years of surviving does to a person. However, it's not just all about surviving though.

It's about enduring the pain and suffering, and enjoying the laughter and joy as well as that. Enjoying the little things. It’s about adapting and growing with the changes of the world as the days, months and years go by. Taking the bad days as they come and simply living in the good days.

And today, is one of those good days, you know it is.

You’ve lived in the Jackson Community for five years now and Joel is one of the newcomers - him and his daughter, Ellie. They arrived a couple months ago and you’ve heard the stories from the townsfolk of how he had travelled across the country to get here. You’ve also heard some of the unbelievable speculations too.

Speculations that Joel is super human. Qualities that he possesses of being able to fight, to protect the community - he fought off some bandits his first week being here - and that fact that he is drop dead gorgeous causes folk to genuinely believe that he is something otherworldly.

It’s all gobbledygook. Gibberish and only talk, because that’s all the town can do now in this world, is chat amongst themselves and conjure up all these wild minded speculations about a tough man like Joel, but you’ve got him sussed.

Settling into the routines and order of control shortly after that event with the bandits, Joel fell into the life of Jackson quite easily. Assigned to being his patrol partner one day a couple weeks later, you looked forward to getting to know the guy.

At first, he acted even more tough - around you. An occasional grunt here or a ‘hm’ there. Always taking the lead on the patrols, making sure you were behind him when scouting dark buildings.

It was really rather sweet of him to put himself in front, like he was the human shield. He’s built like a brick house compared to you anyways.

Then you started to notice - and enjoy - those little things. Small minute gestures that Joel probably thought you wouldn’t notice, yet you did. You picked up on them. It started with a simple stumble of your feet and Joel caught you.

Stuttering gazes were exchanged while his body was inches away from your own and he let go of your arm. Thanking him in return, he hummed like he normally did, but as he walked away, he added, “no problem. Let’s get back to it.”

More than a sigh or grunt? It was progress.

Each patrol that you worked together after that, Joel would do something new. He gave you half of his sandwich, after insisting that he wasn’t hungry. He crafted a pair of scissors to the end of a pipe for you, then hooked it onto your backpack for you to easily grab it during times of need.

Although, there was never a time of need because Joel would still take the lead of the patrol, he would still walk ahead first and into the danger, with you right behind him. You can fight, you’ve managed these patrols each week before he got here.

Granted, you may not be on Joel’s level of fighting expertise, he has a keen eye and can spot the danger a mile away, and his hearing is impeccable for a middle aged man, but you could manage too.

You took note that he would start to listen to what you would ramble about. Whether or not he listened beforehand, he made a point to show that he was listening.

So, after weeks of working alongside him on these patrols, you were starting to see progress and today is another one of those days that you will get to see Joel glimmer through that hard man exterior he wears.

════════════

Walking along to the stables this warm Monday morning, you saw that Joel was already there at the gate, waiting on you with the two horses reins in each hand. God, he’s an early bird.

Flashing him a smile, you thanked him and took the reins from him but then he asked, “You got it?” as you prepared to mount the beast. He asked this last week too and the week before that.

Showing him again that you were capable, you hooked your foot into the stirrup of the saddle and climbed up, swinging your leg around and giving him another smile, a proud smile.

He nodded at you, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk but he turned and climbed his own horse before you could see it.

I wonder what that smile looks like, big guy.

Shaking that thought off for now, you needed to be focused for patrol and like always, Joel took the lead, telling the men to open up the gates then headed out first with you following close behind.

Today, you were taking the east trails. There was a street of empty stores, a church, an apartment complex and a library in the small town east to the Community of Jackson.

A regular sweep that you and Joel do each time it rotates around and you know that Jenny and Will had already scouted this place on Friday last week, yet it is the duties of you both today to make sure that everything is still clear.

After a short ride - of your one sided chatting the whole way - you made it to the town and Joel suggested starting off with the church. As you both hopped down from the horses and walked up towards the doors, he stopped you to say, “I think you should go for the yellow.”

You weren’t sure what he was talking about at first, until you remembered that you rambled on not even five minutes ago about painting your garden shed yellow or white.

You knew he was listening, it made you smile that he threw in his suggestion too. Nodding curtly in return, you jerked your chin outwards toward the door and muttered, “No problem, let’s get back to it.”

Using his own words against him was a win, you caught a brief smile on his face before he turned toward the door.

Pushing it open quietly, Joel peeped his head inside first and when he entered fully, you followed. You took the left side and he took the right side, and together, you both walked down the aisle of overturned pews.

Your eyes were dead ahead, looking for any sudden movements but you could see Joel darting his head to look at you as he walked, making sure that you were ok.

Meeting up with him at the end, you walked onto the stage with him to check the little side room and just like you suspected, the place was clear.

“Think we should bring the horses in here?” You asked and he nodded in return.

Joel does a lot of nodding, you wonder if his neck hurts at the end of each day from it all. Quietly snickering to yourself about it as you walked towards the exit, he had caught that but only tilted his head to the side. He didn’t turn to look at you or ask what you found funny and that made you smile all the more.

Once the horses were brought inside and the doors were secured, you and Joel turned your attention to walking down the street and checking the stores along the way. There were a couple infected here and there. Thankfully, they were spaced out so it wasn’t too difficult to kill them.

The apartment complexes were a little more.. complex. If Joel would have just allowed the normal workings of a patrol, you could have swept the building quicker by splitting up, but of course, he preferred that you were with him - behind him - while you checked each room.

A clicker and a runner is what you found and Joel took care of them both. It was a tad frustrating that he wouldn’t let you help yet you couldn’t lie about the fact that he looked good while doing it. It was nice watching him work, but you are his patrol partner, this is supposed to be 50/50 work.

Waiting for the next opportunity to arise, you would show him that it’s supposed to be teamwork. Not, Joel does it all.

Although, the rest of the town was clear after that. Checking the rest of the stores were, thankfully, empty and then heading into the library, you saw that it was empty too.

Considering today’s patrol didn’t take as long, you didn’t leave right away and walked down one of the aisles to look at the books, in hopes of finding one to take with you.

Joel walked along too but on the other side. You could see him through the sparse supply of books on the shelves. Well, you could see his chest.

The man was so damn tall compared to you that your head was level with his pecs. When you stopped to browse, he did too. It made you giggle and he ducked down to look at you.

However, your amusement was short lived when noticing the fear in his eyes and you turned just as he was shouting ‘behind you’. It was a stalker running up on you.

You ducked just as it jumped and darted out of the way. As quick as you could unsheathe your pipe with the scissors attached to the end, the infected creature was already back on his feet and racing towards you.

Just as Joel was rounding the corner, you swung at the thing. Hooking the scissors into the side of its face and yanking it around and onto the floor. With the advantage you had above, you pulled the pipe back and kept driving it down, over and over again every time it tried to get back up.

Joel joined you by grabbing the pipe just as you were bringing it down again. Looking at the creature on the ground still jerking around with an inch's worth of life left in it, he took the pipe from you and struck it once to the head, killing it instantly.

“Are you ok?” turning to look at you, he dropped the weapon and stepped closer, holding your upper arms, “did it get you? Are you hurt, Y/N?”

“I’m good, no bites,” nodding in return, Joel let your arms go and dropped his head with a heavy sigh of relief. The action made you smile, really smile. He was worried about you, you heard it in his tone of voice and when he lifted his head to look at you, he shook his head confusingly.

“You’re very cute,” you giggled and his brows furrowed, “W-wha..” stammering while looking between you and the stalker, his cheeks were reddening and he barked through an unsure, half smile, “what?!”

You could see him battling between being angry or finding this as funny as you did.

“I said, you’re very cute.” Rolling your lips together in an attempt to tone down your delight, you patted him on the chest and stepped over the stalker to walk away. Leaving him dumbfounded and flustered.

Cocking your head to look at him, you called out, “Thanks for saving my ass.”

He was still standing there, blushing to a rosy red in colour while he shook his head confusingly, “CUTE?!”

Tagging

Permanent Taglist (All story Updates): @marydjarin @kirsteng42 @supernaturalgirl @supernaturalgirl20 All Joel Content: @extraneous-trip @luvmeijii @readsalot73 @pale-gingerale @joelsflannel @something-tofightfor @readsalot73 @dinsangelx @ponyosmilfmom @hb8301 @squidwell

[pies-writes-and-more]

ex-boyfriends are a pain

Warnings: ex boyfriend being a dick, referred to as Asshole, some swearing

Pairings: Sugawara Kōshi, Ushijima Wakatoshi, & Bokuto Kōtarō all with a Fem!Reader

A/N: this was originally written for @thisnoodlewritesao3 because ex-boyfriends can suck shit but how much do you wanna bet that the Haikyuu boys would have your back no matter what? Kinda threw this together so I hope you guys enjoy!

haikyuu masterlist

Sugawara knew you could fight like the rest of them. Hell, it was the first time you fought with Tanaka that made him go wow okay I need to hang out with Y/N more.

You could be so feisty when you wanted, so sweet other times. It all depended on your mood. So when he saw your ex-boyfriend walking your way, Sugawara watched your body language first. Did you seem like you wanted to deal with this on your own? Or did you want some help? He never wanted you to feel like he wouldn’t let you fight your own battles, though this was a little harder knowing that this Asshole had hurt you for so long.

Sugawara wanted nothing more than to make the guy hurt like he had hurt you... but no, he restrained himself for a moment, Daichi also watching as if ready to back up his best friend if he got himself into a scuffle.

Maybe if Asshole hadn’t caught you off guard and in the middle of your thoughts, you would’ve been fine, but instead he had grabbed you and dragged you off to some secluded hallway.

“The hell are you doing?” You glared at him, trying to wiggle your arm from him. Your eyes frantically searching for anyone or anything to help get you out of this situation as he pulled you away.

“We need to talk,” Asshole huffed, standing a little too close for comfort. “You’ve been ignoring my calls and my texts and now what? You’ve blocked me?”

Your insides turned uncomfortably, shifting your weight as you tried to find a way to at least step away from him a bit, “We’re not together anymore, there’s nothing that needs to be said-”

“Y/N! Daichi’s looking for you!” Sugawara’s voice was a welcome surprise. Your eyes shot over to where he was standing, his hands on his hips and a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He knew. You could tell he knew how uneasy you were just because his eyes met yours and his head tilted slightly as if to ask want me to kill him?

“She’s busy,” Asshole grumbled, not even bothering to look up from your eyes at him.

Sugawara didn’t move. For a moment he just stood there with his fake smile on before walking closer and pushing the guy away from you gently, “Hey! You look real familiar,” Sugawara beamed up at him, holding his chin as if in thought. “Have we met before?”

“No?” Asshole just glared at him and then his glare turned to you, “Who the fuck is this? Your new boyfriend?”

“Aha! Boyfriend! You kinda look like that crazy EX-boyfriend that Y/N used to have. Now that was one weird dude. Imagine leaving your girlfriend at some restaurant cause you got caught up with your friends and forgot about your anniversary,” Sugawara’s forced a laugh, flopping his arm around your shoulders playfully. “Thank god you got rid of that guy right?”

Even you had to question whether or not Sugawara was being funny or serious. He definitely knew this guy was that ex-boyfriend... didn’t he?

Asshole just huffed, standing up straighter and puffing out his chest slightly just to exaggerate that he was, in fact, taller than Suga.

“It’s funny. It was after that breakup that the Karasuno High School Volleyball team vowed to never let Y/N get hurt ever again.” Suga’s eyes drifted over to where Asahi was just slightly in view, standing tall as ever.

It would only work since Asshole had no clue who Asahi was, and couldn’t see that the muscle-y third year was almost in a panic attack over the upcoming game. All Asshole saw when he followed Sugawara’s gaze was the scary tall third year that everyone seemed to gossip about at every game. Your ex turned back to Suga, as if thinking that would be any better.

From the half of Suga’s face that you could see, it was really not something you’d want to be in front of. Suga could get really scary if he wanted and you imagined that right now, Asshole was experiencing just that.

Your ex grumbled something about “not being worth it” and turned on his heel, rushing away from you two.

You felt a breath leave your chest almost immediately, your heart pounding against your ribcage, “God Suga, thank you so much,” you smiled weakly up at him, quickly wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.

“Anytime love,” he smiled, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head. “You know, I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I’d say you upgraded big time,” he smirked, tapping your nose lovingly.

You laughed and smiled up at him, touching his cheek gently and stroking your thumb along his skin as you admired his expression, “Absolutely. 100% upgrade. Would never even dream of going back.”

“Good,” Suga grinned, holding your hand against his face for just a moment longer, “cause I’m not letting you leave me that easily.”

Ushijima remembered your ex boyfriend, but not in any physical way. He couldn’t remember what the guy looked like - how tall he was, or what colour his hair was. But what he did remember is how you looked after every argument you had with the guy. 

More often than not, you’d come over to Ushijima’s place or Tendō’s after yet another argument, tears streaking down your face and your whole body just crumbling into one of their hugs.

Ushijima had hated seeing you like that and he would hold you for as long as you wanted.

It was after one really bad fight with that guy that Ushijima told himself that he would confess to you eventually. He knew you deserved all the love in the world, and the only way to guarantee you’d be getting it is if he took it into his own hands.

You were far too good for him, but he knew he loved you enough to try.

Maybe he should’ve gone back and looked into what this guy looked like. That probably would’ve helped him in this situation.

“-you think I don’t know that you were trying to steal my girl this whole time?” a guy was yelling, up in Ushijima’s face (as much as you can be in a guy’s face who’s a few inches taller than you). “I should’ve known you two would get together after the way she was constantly talking about you.”

Maybe it should’ve clicked in Ushijima’s head that the guy who was angrily attacking him in the almost empty gym was your ex-boyfriend, but instead, Ushijima kept glancing around him to see if there was someone else that the guy was yelling at.

“What the hell are you looking for? She’s not gonna come save you or anything. I thought you were supposed to be some big man - ace of the volleyball team. What are you scared or something?” your ex cackled, hands on his hips all proud-like.

Ushijima finally caught on that this guy was talking to him, a frown on his face, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

It hadn’t meant to be a question with any sort of malice to it, but the guy seemed so dejected hearing it. Here he had come all this way, built up all this courage to confront Ushijima Wakatoshi for stealing his girlfriend... and the guy didn’t even know who he was.

“I’m Y/N’s ex boyfriend,” the guy glared up at him, getting angrier.

“Oh.” Ushijima nodded to himself slightly, now remembering the guy’s face and starting to walk past him.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

“What’s there to talk about?” Ushijima asked, still walking ahead. “Maybe if you hadn’t been such a self-absorbed egotistical idiot you would still have her. But you don’t. Someone was bound to come and show her what she actually deserves.”

You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but had just been about to come into the gym to make sure Ushijima was ready to walk home. Your fingers trembled a little hearing your ex’s voice and just how angry he sounded. You were annoyed, you were angry. you wanted to go in there and punch the guy in the face. How dare he act like you were some item to be stolen - you chose Ushijima. You loved Ushijima. There wasn’t anything to steal - you were his and he was yours and there was nothing about your ex in it at all.

But you couldn’t deny that you loved hearing Ushijima’s flat and blunt tone cut through all of your ex’s defenses. He stood there a stuttering mess, coming up with excuses after excuses as to why he hadn’t been a better boyfriend (news flash man, you were just an ass), even while Ushijima started to exit the gym.

“Oh. Y/N. You’re here,” Ushijima’s stoic face broke into a smile as he found you, immediately leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead and taking your hand.

“Have an unexpected visitor?” You point out, glancing into the gym to see your ex getting all riled up some more.

“Nothing worth our time. Come on, let me walk you home,” he said, taking your bag from you like he always did and leading you home.

You knew Ushijijma could’ve cut your ex down to pieces if he needed to, the ace of Shiratorizawa could be very scary when he was angry. But evidently, your ex didn’t seem to be worth the time and the thought of that made you very happy. Ushijima was right after all, that Asshole was not worth either of your free times and he certainly wasn’t worth getting into a fight with.

Still, Ushijima seemed to watch you carefully to make sure you weren’t upset that your ex had come by. He bought you extra snacks at the shop the two of you stopped at on your way home and listened intently to all the things you wanted to talk about while the two of you ventured onwards.

“Thank you, Ushijima,” you smiled at him as you got to your door.

He nodded, “I like walking you home, no thanks needed.”

“No, thank you for... saying what you did to that Asshole back at the gym,” you weren’t really sure what you were thanking him for, but just felt like it needed thanking.

The boy just smiled at you and pressed a kiss to your cheek as he handed you your bag, “You are worth 10 of him, Y/N. I won’t waste my chance with you like he did.”

You beamed hearing this, wrapping him into a hug before disappearing into your house and waving to him from the window. 

Later Tendō would point out that he would’ve kicked held the guy up while Ushijima beat the shit out of him, if Ushijima ever wanted that but the ace just shrugged, “The greatest defeat I can do to him is make Y/N happier than he ever could. And I plan on doing that every day for the rest of my life.”

Bokuto loathed your ex boyfriend. He always proclaimed that if he so ever laid eyes on him, he would spike a volleyball into the guy’s face.

Now was his opportunity.

You had been working with the managers of the volleyball team to help set everything up before one of the tournament games, just filling up water bottles and bringing them to the court. You weren’t sure how or why your ex had followed you onto the court but he did.

“Y/N,” he called you from behind you, grabbing onto your wrist to keep you from rushing off.

Your eyes widened as you realized who it was, frowning and pulling your arm away from him almost immediately, “What the hell are you doing here?” You asked with a glare.

“We need to talk - I don’t like this new guy you’re dating. He’s an idiot.” Asshole huffed, shooting a thumb in the direction of Bokuto who was currently getting ready to practice spiking.

“Who I date is none of your business. You should get out of here before he realizes you’re here-” you tried to warn him. Really you did.

There was always a deafening sound whenever one of Bokuto’s blocks hit the floor - the kind that sent shivers down your spine. But hearing it land so close to you, right behind where your ex was standing, made you actually jump, your eyes watching as the ball bounced off and rolled further away down the gym. You and your ex both froze, staring as you watched the ball disappear, a ringing left in the air from the powerful spike.

Both of you turned to see who had almost attacked Asshole, finding Bokuto standing there with his arms crossed against his chest. Even Akaashi was glaring at your ex, chin tilted up in a defiant sort of way.

“Next one,” Bokuto pointed straight at your ex, a firm look in his eyes, “I aim for that ugly mug of yours.”

You could feel your ex tense up, fists balling up angrily at his sides. He opened his mouth to say something, but Akaashi quickly cut him off, “You should leave. Our ace doesn’t get angry often, but when he does, he doesn’t hold back on spiking power. Besides, if you want to talk to our Y/N when she doesn’t want to talk to you, you’ll have to go through all of us.” He motioned to the rest of the team, all of whom were glaring in Asshole’s direction.

You couldn’t help but smile. How lucky were you to have found a family like this - one who were so willing to stop their practice before a game just to make sure you were comfortable. 

Asshole soon stormed off and you sent a smirk over to Bokuto who just sent you a grin, “Did you see that crazy spike?” He asked excitedly as you came over to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I did. If that had hit me, I would’ve died,” you teased, poking his chest.

“I would never hit you! I am an expert with aiming!”

“Didn’t you hit her like last week with a stray receive, Bokuto?” 

“AKAASHI NOT NOW!”

You laughed, watching as Bokuto frantically waved his arms to his best friend, insisting that that was an accident and he really was very good at aiming. 

“Thanks for getting him out of here,” you smiled up at your boyfriend, giving him a tight squeeze before glancing at the ref who was setting up for the game. “I should head up to the stands. You better get all fired up for me okay?”

“Anything for you, babe. I figured actually hitting him would’ve just made him angrier.” He laughed, pecking your lips. “Cheer extra loud for me!” He called after you, jumping up and down to warm up his calves.

“You ready, Bokuto?” Akaashi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bokuto nodded, grinning to himself as he thought about how perfect that spike was, “I’m all fired up thanks to the prettiest girl in the world. Let’s do this!”

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@al0ehas @aurumk @neko-chii1 @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo @jesssobs @b-bakana​ 

[danielxricciardo]

Cheater III

Summary: You found out Max cheated on you part 3.

Warnings: angst and fluff by the end

Word count: 2.5k

Part 1 and Part 2

Cheating in a relationship is the saddest thing. It can kill the personality from the inside. Bring changes a lot mentally. These situations turn into you to be good or bad. Some may be helpful to be stronger.

It feels bad when our loved one cheated, cause we are well connected to our partners. We had a lot of plans for that person to spend a most valuable time of ours. When it isn't going to happen then it feels unsuccessful or bad. Expecting something from another person is common in humans. When it turns down we feel such pain, like stabbing with words, The words have the power to kill or to give life to the opponent's mind. The reason why people say 'think before you talk'.

True love doesn't involve multiple people... You knew that.

When you are in love with someone, you don't cheat and you're not talking about just finding others attractive. You just don't desire to be sexually intimate with other people when you are truly "in love" with one person. You're not talking about caring for someone or loving in general.

You're talking about the head over heels, you're soulmates, the stars have aligned and nobody else has what you have, a type of love that consumes your whole being and makes you want to give that person the world. And that includes giving them the greatest physical pleasure that they can possibly experience. Cheating takes that away from you and that is why it hurts.

The person you are in love with and desire, who you thought felt the same way is revealing to you that intimacy with you is meaningless when you thought it was special. They do not desire you in the same way that you desire them. They are not "in love" with you in the way that you thought. All of your love is in vain.

“Why do we feel bad, even horrible, when our partner cheats on us?"

A trust, expectation, a promise was broken. This type of violation hits you closer to the heart because you have let that person through all your external defenses. Because you fear the loneliness that you are going to face. Nobody wants to end alone. When you put in so much for your relationship, you want it to last. But when your partner cheats you think that you would end alone, gradually realize this happens and life doesn't end here and someone else is going to come into your life.

Why do guys cheat on girls?

Both men and women cheat. In some cases, the reasons are simple: humans are animals with sex drives. We are biologically programmed to "spread our seeds." We have other instincts, such as loyalty, honesty, and guilt feelings. Those drives duke it out with lust in our brains. Sometimes, lust wins. It's more complicated than that because we tend to associate sex with so many other things: youth, freedom, adventure, personal attractiveness, you name it.

You know people make all sorts of excuses like, “I wasn’t happy in my relationship” or “I didn’t know what I was doing” or “I don’t find my partner attractive anymore” or “someone convinced me to do it.” You’ve heard these. But it’s funny to you.

A cheater can never have any excuse. They do not deserve to have that say after cheating on someone.

If you weren’t happy in the relationship, then why didn’t you break up first and had sex with someone else? Why didn’t you say that you needed a break and then had sex? Also, how can someone even convince you to cheat on your partner? It’s nonsense.

Some people will even go as far as to say that the other person made them feel loved, so they got swayed away. If you are not feeling loved by your partner and someone else is doing that job, then aren’t you supposed to figure out your feelings first, maybe break up with your partner and then be with someone else? That’s common sense.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on. The blame is ALWAYS on the cheater. Nowadays people even try to justify cheaters. It’s insane. To you, all the answers to “why” are simply just excuses trying to justify their unacceptable behavior. You know, how they always say that a person who cheats once will cheat again.

Since you found out that Max cheated on you and until this moment, so many months have passed that you have the impression that you have started to heal. You were with a man who made you feel fulfilled, happy, and loved. There were days in a row when you didn't think about Max, but even when you thought, you had in mind only the beautiful moments. Like when, for your first date, he rented your entire favorite restaurant and he cooked for both of you, even though he didn't know how to cook more than just one egg. Or when you first visited him at a Grand Prix for the first time and he won and came to you and kissed you in front of all the cameras, telling everyone that you are his lucky talisman. Or, your favorite memory, when you were at his house after you met his family and heard him talking to his father about you. Sure, you didn't understand a word they said, but Victoria translated to you what was most important about that conversation: Max loves you so much and if he doesn't get to marry you, he'll never marry anyone else.

As dear as your last memory may be, it is also painful because it is like a slap in the face to the fact that there was a time in your life when you were in love and now you were no longer together.

When you told your family that you started seeing another man, more than 6 months after you and Max broke up, your mother asked you how you could get into a relationship so quickly. relationship.

To be honest, you weren't ready yet. You were damn scared but Stephen, your boyfriend now, went after you a lot and you decided that if you don't give him a chance now it will be many years before you think about going on a date with someone else. You knew it wasn't going to be a long relationship. You didn't have much in common with Stephen, but he was a good, sweet boy, and you needed someone who wouldn't make you hate all the men in the world.

"Look, I'm not saying you didn't go through something traumatic, but it's been almost a year since then and I think it's time to come and show everyone that you're not afraid of anyone or anything," says Anthony who called you on facetime one Sunday night after the race.

"But I'm afraid."

"Just shut up, no one needs to know. You just come here, you smile, you laugh, you act friendly with everyone and you're going to look like you're better of without him."

You sigh and get out of bed, and go to the kitchen to get a pill for your headache.

"But he will be there..."

"Okay, so? Who cares about him? I'll always be by your side, I promise he won't talk to you."

"Can I come with Stephen?"

"You know I can't stand him, Y/N. Take him with you to the next Grand Prix, I don't feel like seeing him now, okay?"

"I'll think about it."

You have decided, however, to go to the last Grand Prix of the season, in Abu Dhabi. No one but Anthony knew you were coming to the race.

You forgot what a busy atmosphere it was on Sunday. However, everyone who saw you came to you to talk a little and to tell you that you missed them. You smiled and answered that you missed them as well.

The road to Red Bull Racing was long and short at the same time.

"Do my eyes see well? Y/F/N Y/L/N!" says Christian Horner, who comes to you and hugs you.

You first see Sergio Perez who waves at you, happy to see you, then you see Max who comes from somewhere in the back. Had he just heard your name?

"Hey, guys! I'm so glad to see you again. I missed you all."

"And we missed you, Y/N!" Christian answers on behalf of all Red Bull Racing employees. "Welcome home."

You giggle.

"Thank you."

In less than 10 minutes since you got there, Anthony broke his promise. He promised not to leave you alone so that Max could not come and talk to you.

"Hey," Max says softly, coming behind you.

You shivered at his voice, a voice you've dreamed of every night since you broke up. You turn to him and analyze his facial features. He was the way you remembered him, maybe even more handsome.

You look left and right for Anthony but you can't see him.

"Hey." You answer Max and your heart starts beating much harder.

"I'm so glad to see you... I missed you."

The desire to take him in your arms and kiss him was so strong that you felt dizzy. You couldn't focus on anything, not even a few words to say.

"Do you think that we... We could see each other after the race to... Talk?" he asks, moving his weight from one foot to the other.

"Okay," you say and regret it the next second.

"How stupid am I for wanting to get back together with Max after he cheated on me?" you asked Anthony.

"First of all, you're not stupid for wanting to get back with your boyfriend. Relationships are the most real things anyone can experience. We're growing while we're together. As we grow, we also go through many different behaviors in life. Behavior does not make that person. Behaviors come and go as we grow into who we are. No one is perfect. You cannot name one person you know to be 100% perfect, right?" you shake your head and he continues. "We all grow organically, and the best thing about being in a relationship is that you get to watch each other grow. You get to experience the person you care about to develop. Relationships are like walking through a door that you don't know what's on the other side. But you go through the door without any fear, doubt, or unbelief. Relationships are the livest-realest- life experience. He is a man. A man can only love once or twice. Just because Max has sex with a woman, doesn't mean he loves her. He just wanted to get his rocks off for a moment. When it is all said and done, he loves you. It may sound strange but just think of all the men you knew. Think about all the relationships you knew about. Think those who have been together for years on out. So, no you're not stupid for wanting to embrace your boyfriend's "only temporary behavior". You're smart for wanting to have the courage to walk through the next door. You're smart for being optimistic and knowing that things will get better with time. You realize the importance of maintaining a companion."

You blink several times.

"Why do I feel like you've practiced this speech in front of the mirror several times?"

He laughs and runs his arm over your shoulder.

"Maybe because that's what I did?"

You laugh and you hug him.

"Thank you for being my friend. So you're saying I should give Max another chance?"

"You don't have to give him a chance if you don't want to. But listen to your heart. Don't just do it because I'm saying so because you might regret it and you'll blame me. If you want to give him another chance, just do it. He's not the kind of man to cheat. I don't know what was on his mind when he did it with Kelly. But something tells me he regrets what he did and he will never cheat again."

"Hey, can we talk now?"

"Sure. Congrats on the win!"

"Yeah, thanks."

You both went to his room to talk. You were scared and your palms were sweating. You didn't want to start the conversation because you had different scenarios in mind, all different, depending on what Max would tell you the first time. You swallowed hard when you entered his room. The last time you were there, you two broke up.

“I’m truly sorry for hurting you.” he started saying after he closed the door behind you. "I care for you more than anything. I’m deeply sorry for hurting you… Hurting you is the most painful thing I have ever done. With a bruised heart and a deflated ego, with a sad soul and a head hung low, I apologize to you. An apology is nothing to what I’ve done; but still, I know you have a forgiving and understanding heart and won’t let resentment destroy our love. I have shown you what an idiot I can be by making that mistake. Now it is your turn to show me what a darling you can be by giving your anger a break. Without you I feel lonely, I never want to lose you in my life. I am sorry and I’ll work hard on changing my behavior. I know that I caused you a lot of pain. Whatever happens, remember that I am the guy, who will always be there for you in good and bad times. I know you’re angry now, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I am ready to make amends. If I could, I would have wiped your memories about all the terrible things that I have caused you, but all I can do is to promise you that I’ll create only happy memories for you. I hope when you feel ready you can forgive me."

His words took you by surprise. You knew he would try to apologize, but in your mind, you weren't crying. You knew before you came to the room with him that you would forgive him.

"I forgive you. To be honest, I think I forgave you before we broke up but my ego was hurt and I couldn't forgive you so quickly. What you did was horrible and I hated you for so many months for making me feel so small and insignificant. But I love you. And I want to give ourselves another chance."

tag: hellolipoops, taina-eny

[aemondsbabygirl]

Thank you Erin @persephonerinyes for tagging me ! 🩷

The most painful love crush/disappointment in real life? 😵

When I was 13 or 14, I had a huge crush on a guy who moved next to my place. My crush on him was exacerbated by the fact that he was american, had shoulder length shaggy blond hair and used to skateboard. In my little french town in the suburbs of Paris, you rarely saw americans. He was the talk of the town and so out of my league, of course I wanted him. He also was a year older than me. AND to make it worse, the word in town was that he was in love with a girl whose name was victoria. Little me thought of course it was me lmao. But of course, it was a completely different girl who was GORGEOUS, tanned skin with green eyes, I didn't stand a chance 🥲

The funny thing though, two years later we were at our town’s fair, I was older, out of puberty and had a little bit of a glow up. He saw me and asked me out. I was so petty that I turned him down just to make him suffer 😂🤭 "Didn't want me back then, won't have me now, fuck you" was what was going on in my head.

What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date would be like? 😇

My first date was at a mall, he bought me a pair of shoes and we had ice cream.

What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating? 😐

My first adult kiss was awkward because we were sitting on bench that was surrounded by other benches. There were a lot of people around and he decided to kiss me then🙈. And a long kiss with tongue and all. I was awkward, because I felt everyone watching us. When we stopped, there was indeed a grandpa watching us intently.

What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss would be like? 😚

So it depends, what I desccribed just above was my first "real" kiss. But when I was in primary school, my best friend and I had a crush on the same boy. We were so innocent back then, she suggested we both kiss him so we could share him. Ofc he agreed, so we went in a secluded area of the playground and he kissed us, one after the other. I don't know if it counts as a "first kiss" though cause we were kids.

Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex? 😬

I don't know what counts as quirks. Well, I'm into BDSM and I'm a sub. I have a lot of responsibilities in real life, so I take great pleasure from relinquishing everything in bed, and having my partner be in charge instead. One time, I tried to breach the subject of being a sub and liking to be choked and spanked, with my college friends but they found it disgusting and wouldn't understand it lol So yeah, some people find it strange.

What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done/could do with your partner? 🥵

I'm a very kinky person. There isn't much I wouldnt try except scat, piss and strong physical pain. As for a kinky thing that I did: once my bf at the time, fingered me while we were watching a movie with his mom, brother and his brother's wife, in the same room. Or maybe the time I had sex with a lifeguard at a waterpark, in the pool he was supposed to be guarding (no one was around or in it, except us when it happened).

The most romantic thing ever? 💕

I dont remember many romantic gestures 🤔. I don't know if it counts as romantic, but one time when I was 18, I was at a friend’s house, her parents were extremely religious (they're actually in a sect) and very strict. I was in a guestroom by myself at night during my stay. And a guy I was talking to (I had only seen him once), really wanted to see me, and he lived nearby. He came by at night when they slept, climbed through the little balcony to see me. It was in an apartment at the third floor. Thankfully we didn't get caught but he broke a rib on his way out 😂.

Tagging @kaelabear @wolfdressedinlace @theoneeyedprince & @liv-cole :)

Valentine's Day Q&A

I want to get to know you a little better, and there's no better day for dirty questions than Valentine's Day! Choose which part of the question you want to answer and, of course, only do it if you feel like it! It will be perfectly fine if you skip answering some questions. 😌

The most painful love crush/disappointment in real life? 😵

Do you remember the scene in Glass Cuts Deepests when Wright tells Aemond about her ex boyfriend putting a flower behind other girl's ear? Well, that happened to me, just we weren't together, but I was completely in love with him before I met my husband and this scene was DEVASTATING to watch!

What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date would be like? 😇

I went on my first date ever with my husband (although we both said it was just a friendly meeting). We went to the cinema together to see the movie Green Book. I kept shushing him because he wanted to talk to me during the show, haha.

What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating? 😐

It's not really strange, but I burst out laughing because one of my husband's first compliments to me was "I can't stop looking at your socks" with Michelangelo's naked David on them.

What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss would be like? 😚

My husband was suffering from a huge hangover after his friends birthday party which he had attended the day before. He felt sick and I asked if he wanted to take a nap (we were in the room he was renting) and he asked what I would do then. I said that I could fall asleep at any time of the day or night (it's true) and we ended up lying next to each other.

Of course, he suddenly didn't feel like sleeping, and my first kiss (with my consent, because what could I do? He would never have dared to do it if he was sober) tasted of vodka (of course, he was taking a shower etc. before I came, it's just that after so much alcohol, you actually sweat vodka). 😂

Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex? 😬

Neither I nor my husband are into oral sex at all. We've tried and we both can't concentrate, we both only think about the fact that someone will accidentally make the other person uncomfortable. We had a conversation about it and agreed that it simply wasn't for us. 😂

We both also abhor bodily fluids and often laugh about it after everything "blehhh take it away from me" is the order of the day. We are having a good time tho, haha!! 😂

What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done/could do with your partner? 🥵

I would let him spank my ass until I cried. 😇

The most romantic thing ever? 💕

My hubby giving me food and brushing my hair while laying next to me when I'm sad. 😭

None pressure tags: @ewanmitchellcrumbs; @targaryenrealnessdarling; @humanpurposes; @aegonx; @black-dread; @sapphirehearteyes; @aemvnd; @zenka69; @at-a-rax-ia; @malfoytargaryen @blackswxnn @toodlesxcuddles @kckt88 @immyowndefender @bellaisasleep @persephonerinyes @alphard-hydraes-blog @zaldritzosrose @aveatquevale- @fan-goddess @lottie-blue-star @fullmoonworshipper

+ anyone who feels like it of course!!!

[vampiredecay]

Hey dear, i have a weird request but could you do a Lost boys X reader or Marko x reader Where all the boys (Marko Dwayne David paul Micheal all of them or just marko Dwayne David paul) see the reader re put bandages on his scar but the scars would be like carls in the walking dead and they see the scar ( i wonder how they would react to it?)

thank you so much for the request, sorry it took me a hot second to post! its longer than my other stories on here so far, so i hope that makes up for it. i also hope that you like what i did with it!! its angsty in the beginning but it gets fluffier <3

Scar Tissue

rating: teen

word count: 2,908

tags/warnings: swearing, mentions of being in pain, mentions of scars, mentions of being in the hospital, harassment, fluff, the boys being sweet, the lost boys x male!reader, male pronouns used, poly!lost boys

--

You could have never predicted how your life had gone so sideways. Not in a million years- before the accident, you were pretty much an average joe. Decent family, decent friends, decent existence. Nothing was ever really exciting, but you were okay with that. Life didn’t need to be crazy or unpredictable to be fulfilling.

But, you supposed, the price of being a living being on this Earth was that life could never truly be predictable at all. It couldn’t be, with the events that followed you losing your eye, and pretty much all normalcy you grew to live with.

It was extremely painful at first, physically and emotionally. You had lost a vital part of your body, and you could never get it back. It was disorienting, and uncomfortable, like an itch you could never scratch. The skin around your eye was incredibly sensitive, the lightest movement or touch sending shockwaves of burning pain through your nerves. Tears were always on the brink of spilling over anytime you or a doctor had to replace medicine and bandages to keep the wound clean.

In the end, the pain wasn’t the worst part about it. No, you could deal with the pain. The people in your life, however, suddenly changing and disappearing was way, way worse.

Friends slowly stop coming to visit you at the hospital, calls go unanswered, gazes averted. Your parents supported you, of course. They still loved you, and you knew nothing could change that. But sometimes even they got this look in their eyes, something a little too close to pity.

It was an incredibly lonely first couple of months.

But the loneliness and the heartache slowly healed, along with your eye. The scarring lightened and stopped bleeding, and your skin no longer felt as if it was on fire every time you turned your head. You still had to keep it under wraps, to keep out infection, and to keep other people from seeing how bad it was. You knew that people seeing the bandages would cause looks and questions, but it was better than people actually seeing the wound, which would surely cause reactions that you didn’t have the patience to deal with.

As you were healing, you were also relearning how to do things in your daily life. Your sight and depth perception drastically changed, so things like walking and doing simple tasks had to be practiced all over again. You had to take things slow, which you hated, you couldn’t leave the house very often until you got used to walking without bumping into things.

The first place you wanted to go once you were able to was the boardwalk. It was one of your favorite places in the world, so loud and full of life and happiness. It was absolutely what you needed after all of the hardship you had to deal with lately.

So one night, when it got late and your parents turned in for the night, you went out and caught a bus to the nearest stop to the boardwalk. From there you walked until you saw the bright lights and heard loud screaming and chatter and laughter. You smiled as you took in the sight of the people and the games and the rides, it felt like you were breathing for the first time in months.

The first thing you did was buy a big thing of cotton candy and a soda, roaming the boardwalk and consuming sugary goodness. As you walked, you noticed that some people were giving you looks, but you ignored them, focused on just having a good time and living your best life.

Walking around for long periods of time still gave you a bit of trouble, you were starting to get a little dizzy, so after a bit you sat down on a bench to give your brain time to catch up with the rest of your body. This was nice too, you got to relax and just watch people for a bit. There were all sorts of people out tonight, families and tourists and couples, teenagers and surf nazis and locals, all in one spot, the heart of Santa Carla, enjoying the wonders it had to offer.

There was a group of guys that caught your eye, though. You didn’t mean to stare at them; in fact, you knew not to, you’ve seen them around the boardwalk in the past, and heard the rumors surrounding them. But, in your defense, it has been a while since you’ve been there, and you forgot how magnetic they can be.

They were milling near their motorbikes, smoking and talking and lightly harassing anyone that happened to walk by. Three blondes and two brunettes- had there always been five of them? You could have sworn there was only four- all dressed in black and leather, looking dangerous and infuriatingly hot. You would have noticed more, but by accident you make eye contact with one of the guys and you rip your attention away from them.

Shit, god damnit, you’ve been spotted now. There’s only one thing to do, and it’s to walk quickly away and hope you don’t run into them later.

You get up too quickly though, and you stumble straight into a man walking with who you assume to be his girlfriend.

“Hey! Watch it-” He starts to say, pissed off that someone ran into him, but then he takes a good look at you and lets out a laugh. “Oh, I guess you really can’t, huh?”

The girlfriend lets out a giggle, smirking behind a hand over her lips. You mumble out an apology and try to go around them, but the man blocks your path. “What was that? C’mon man I can’t hear you, you mute too or something?”

You look up at him and scoff, anger building inside you. Who the hell did this asshole think he was? Without thinking, you say “Yeah, real funny and original. Bet lines like that really score you in bed.”

There’s some laughter around you, making you realize that a crowd has been drawn. The man’s face turned bright red, his mouth curved downward into a frown and he got up in your space. “Oh, so you’re a tough guy now, huh?” He pushed you in the chest, making you stumble back. You get dizzy and almost fall, but you don’t hit the ground. Instead, your back hits someone's chest. You freeze, then slowly turn your head, to see a guy with spiky platinum blond hair staring at the man who pushed you. The four other guys with him were also there, glaring at the crowd of people just watching.

You turned to look back at the man who pushed you, all the color was drained from his face. His girlfriend was clutching his arm, trying to pull the man away but his feet were glued in place. The blond behind you smirked.

“There a problem here?”

The silence that swept over was deafening and unnatural, it was like all of the boardwalk was holding its breath waiting for an answer. The man swallowed, eyes gliding over the gang behind you, not focusing on one spot. “N-No, man. No problem.”

You let out a breath as you watch the man and his girlfriend back up, and the crowd starts to disperse. The man behind you gives a shark-like grin and chuckles deep. “Wonderful.” He says, and he wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you away. You can hear your heart thundering in your chest as you walk away with them, listening as they laugh and push each other.

“N-No m-man, n-no p-problem!” One of the blonds says in a mocking wavering tone, “What a fuckin pussy!” The gang starts laughing again, it feels like the ground underneath your feet is rumbling from the force of it. After a little more walking, they stop in front of a different bench and gesture for you to sit down.

“Take a load off, little man!” You snorted as you sat down, grinning despite the slight lightheadedness. Two of the blonds sat next to you, one with a wild mane of hair and a smile to match swinging an arm behind you. You look at all of them, nodding your head a little bit. “Thank you,” You said softly, “You didn’t have to do that.”

The spiky blond shrugged his shoulders and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Y/N” You said, and he nodded. “I’m David. This is Dwayne, Michael,” He gestured to the two brunettes, one with curly hair and sunglasses hanging off his shirt, the other with longer straight hair and not wearing a shirt at all. “And that’s Paul and Marko.” The two blonds next to you do little waves, the one that wasn’t right next to you has curly hair and a jacket so cluttered with patches it must be heavy.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Y/N!” Paul says, nudging his knee against yours, making you smile more. “It’s good to meet you guys, too.”

After the introductions were out of the way, David offered for you to hang out with them, but you declined, saying you needed to get home. At that David offered a ride instead. You hesitated, but accepted in the end. Riding behind him on his bike was terrifying and exhilarating, you clutched his middle tightly the whole way home, but the blond didn’t seem to mind.

“You should come to the boardwalk more often,” David said as you got off his bike, now at your house. He smiled at you like he was letting you in on a secret, “We’re there all night.”

From that point on, you couldn’t ignore the boy's siren call. The next couple days you would take the bus over, wander until you found them, and then do stupid shit with them all night. A lot of it consisted of them terrorizing people who even looked at them funny, but you didn’t find it scary anymore. You found it powerful. It was the best you’ve felt in a long time.

It wasn’t long, though, until the questions started. You supposed you should have seen it coming, but hanging out with them honestly made you forget.

“So Y/N,” Paul said one night, it was just you and him and Marko. You were leaning against the railing in front of the carousel, waiting for the others to get back from getting food. When you looked over at Paul, he asked “What’s up with the eye?”

Marko punched Paul's shoulder, giving him a look, and Paul threw his hands up dramatically. “What? I don’t mean anything by it, I’m just curious.”

You sighed a little bit, mulling over what to say. You weren’t mad that he asked, you just hated talking about it. “There’s nothing much to say.” You said after a couple seconds of silence. “I was in an accident. Got fucked up. End of story.” Paul and Marko both nodded, taking the hint not to ask anymore. The taller blond wrapped an arm around your shoulders and rested his chin on top of your head. A silent apology. You smiled a little and leaned into him, letting him know it was okay.

After that, David, Dwayne and Michael arrived back with food, and once everyone settled down at a nearby table to eat, David proposed that they go back to their place after eating. You were nervous to accept, but they were cool guys so far, so you didn’t see the harm in it.

Before you could voice your opinion, however, a sudden cold, wet substance suddenly splashed all over your face. You yelped and got up, trying to shake off whatever the fuck it was, when you heard laughter getting distant. Suddenly, the boys were all getting up and shouting, someone was holding onto your shoulders, and when you wiped at your eye you could see it was Dwayne. He looked absolutely livid.

“What the fuck just happened?” You asked, looking down at yourself, disgusted to find that your clothes were soaked now too. The brunette gripped your shoulders a little tighter, not enough to hurt but the pressure was there, “Some people have a death wish.”

You would have asked him to elaborate, but then something dawned on you. “Oh shit!” You exclaim, hand going up to your bandaged eye. “Fuck, I have to get home, I have to change this, fuck!” Dwayne's eyes widened a little, and he nodded, calling attention to the other boys, who were all talking angrily to each other. They all looked over, and when they heard that you needed to change your bandage, they all hurried over. “Our place is closer. Michael, take Y/N to get the supplies he needs. We’ll meet back up at the hotel.” David all but commanded, and everyone seemed to be in agreement. The rest of the boys took off on their bikes while Michael steered you in the direction of a small convenience store on the edge of the boardwalk.

“You okay?” Michael asked, worry written all over his face. You nodded at him, though in reality you were feeling gross, sticky and anxious as hell. You thought it was so nice of them to help you out, really, but you knew this meant that they would probably end up seeing your eye. Seeing your scars. The thought alone was enough to make you slightly nauseous. The brunette could tell that something more was going on with you, so he gently took your hand as you approached the shop. You looked at him, and he smiled at you, squeezing your hand gently. You gave a light smile back and looked away.

After buying the necessary wrap, tape and some bottles of water, you both get on Michaels bike and ride off to their place. You were just thinking about it now, David had said the word “hotel”. Did they stay at an actual hotel?

It didn’t take you long to figure out. When you arrived at the hotel, that was really more of a cave, you were in absolute awe of the place. It was massive and beautiful, you couldn’t believe these guys actually lived here. You had so many questions, but now that you were here, they would have to come after.

Michael led you over to a slightly dusty couch and you sat down, holding the items in your hands nervously. Everyone was sitting around you, you had a very attentive audience that you didn’t really want.

“Is there, uh, a private place I could do this?” You asked, and your heart sank when they shook their heads. “Most of the rooms collapsed when the earthquake hit. There’s not much left, and the parts that remain are too dangerous to go into.” Marko explained, and you sighed. You supposed there was no getting around it.

“Okay, well. Just, don’t say anything, okay?” You got out the bandage wrap from its packaging and took a deep breath. Slowly, you unwrapped the dirty bandage from around your face, revealing your eye to the boys.

All of their facial expressions changed, some more surprised than others. David looked the least shocked, eyes of steel trained on your face, just looking. Dwayne and Michael looked a little more concerned, Michael especially, but otherwise they tried to keep their expressions neutral. Paul and Marko looked intrigued, if anything. Like they wanted to ask questions but were reigning themselves in.

Overall, they kept quiet, and they didn’t shy away from your appearance, so you counted your blessings as you cleaned and dressed your eye as quickly as possible. When you were all finished, Marko and Paul launched themselves at you, sitting next to you with wide smiles on their faces.

“Dude! You’re so badass!” Paul shouted, and Marko was quick to agree. “You should get an eyepatch or something. Crank up the badass factor.”

You laughed at their antics, blushing a bit at their words. You could tell that they really thought you were actually cool. It warmed your chest and you smiled as they went on about eyepatch ideas.

Eventually, David dragged the two away, saying it's getting late and they should probably take you home now. You nodded in agreement, letting out a yawn. You didn’t realize just how tired you were.

Dwayne was the one who ended up taking you home, the ride was a lot gentler and smoother than it usually was, which you were grateful for. When you arrived at your house, and you got off his bike, Dwayne pulled on your arm before you could leave. You looked at him, confused, but then he got off his bike, and he stood in front of you, and he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. You froze, heart pounding. Dwayne pulled away and let go, giving you a small smile. “Have a good night, Y/N.”

You swallowed hard as he got back on his bike. “Yeah- you too.” You stumbled out, making him chuckle. He then rode back off into the night, and you were left stunned on your front lawn.

You didn’t know what would happen now, you had absolutely no clue when it came to the gang of bikers. But you found yourself at peace with it.

Life could never be predictable anymore. And you were more than okay with that.

[queer-full-of-fear-18]

more brainrot - Lian edition

Zee this entire episode ? Give this man an award.

The way he holds on to Kuea throught the entire encounter (both physically and like thought the conversation) is just - I have no words. Except I do here they are:

The beginning is territorial, when he looks over at Kuea talking to Jay and when he shoos off the random guy (which ties into another thing), then he gets flirty, following along Kuea's drunken antics - the boy is adorable and even stone cold Lian can't resist, and so he is very close to kissing him, its teased and ends in cute and funny as Kuea begins to realise it is actually Lian.

And in yeah car it all falls into place - Kuea and Lian are strangers to each others real personalities because Kuea doesn't believe Lian would even set foot in Gemini, let alone wear casual clothes, let alone go find him - he doesn't belive Lian truly cares about him at all.

He even calls for Jay in his drunken state as if Lian was the rando that was so trying to take advantage of him bc he was drunk - Lian must be hurt being mistaken for that type of guy.

And then the flirting, Kuea continues not to believe it's actually Lian; bc lian does love or like him enough to flirt with him (or show it).

And then the car scene - Kuea begins to comprehend he is in fact talking to Lian (somewhat) and just cries out for what should be considered less than a bareminimun from Lian.

That's when Lian relises the pain he has caused Kuea, similar to the pain Kuea has caused him for hiding his own life - expect he relizes Kuea his beacuse of him, the twisted notion that Kuea has of Lian shaped a twisted self hating view of himself and Lian probably can't even begin to form words on how that is so untrue.

So in the moment, in soft touches and tender silence, he kisses him. And that, for me at least truly shows that he deeply loves for Kuea, he must to truly disregard everything he has done and belives up to now.

I can only assume he may feel unworthy of Kuea's love or in a domino effect, saw how Kuea changed and belived to not be loved by him - or even because of social apperance of the family.

But seeing Kuea's tears and pained words - coupled with the events of the night and the song -the fucking song man just punched both me and Lian in the face- Lian pushed aside everything that was ever in his way and kissed Kuea.

And that was like one of the greatest buildups to a kiss ever. Lian's entire range of expressions through out Kuea's whole self deprecating speach? Zee is a actually magical my god

[alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94]

Work You Out (M)

Authors: @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94 and @nomunamuinmybrain​ 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader 

Rating: M 

Disclaimer: Everything marked as M includes explicit content. Do not read if you are under 18 years of age.

Genre: Slice of Life/ Idol AU/ Smut 

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook's manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawine and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Notes: Hello!! That's another installment of the imaginary scenarios myself and my best friend @nomunamuinmybrain​ come up with while driving by the coast line. This oneshot is going to be cross-posted on her profile too. Enjoy!!

Word Count: 2.4K

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.

[thefanficmonster]

You Never Notice

Sykkuno x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?

Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰

Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.

Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.

“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved. 

And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.

“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.

“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought

My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.

“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“

“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.

“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.

“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.

“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“

“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“

Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.

“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it. 

“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.

“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“ 

Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.

Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me. 

Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.  

“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.

On point there, dear. On damn point.

“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free. 

“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.

He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.

“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“

And I disconnect from the Discord call.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“

I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.

Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.

From Sykkuno.

~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason

Me ~ So...?

~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N

Me ~ Wait WHAT?

~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?

Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see

It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.

He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...

~ So, movie date?

I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.

Me ~ So it is.

The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.

Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on

He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.

 Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Even better...

I think the feeling’s mutual.

[dinosaurtsukki]

[ flu season in E minor ]

pairing: fyodor dostoevsky x gn!reader

word count: 2.2k words

contains: uni!au, sigma and nikolai as your bff’s, gn!reader, music student!fyodor, fyodor being a bit of a brat while he’s sick, slight pining/crushing, idk just fluffy shit

summary: you and fyodor are both in the university theater club but you rarely ever see him except for when you’re picking up the musical compositions he makes for the play. this time, however, you come over to his apartment to find him sick with the flu

a/n: uhhh this is kind of a trainwreck cause i was literally just ‘omg uni!au fyodor sickfic’ and then went with it :P

“don’t forget to drink your vitamin c guys! flu season is already here and if you’re down with the flu please don’t come in and spread your germs everywhere,” sigma instructed at the ending of the cast meeting. even though he sounded snappy while saying it, you could tell he meant well. two of your actors in the theatre club had already come down with the flu and with showtime coming up soon, everyone was understandably extra careful.

“y/n, one last thing,” sigma called you over as everyone prepared to leave.

“in case you were going to ask, yes, i took my vitamins already,” you teased skipping over to where he was.

“not funny,” sigma rolled his eyes. “i was wondering if you could follow up with fyodor on the music for the next scene? he doesn’t respond at all to any non-physical communication, i already left him ten messages.” 

“ooh, another visit to the phantom of the opera’s apartment,” nikolai popped up right at your shoulder.

“seriously? you guys call him that?” sigma raised a disappointed eyebrow at you two.

“well he’s mysterious and makes music in a theatre.” 

“i feel like you should actually watch phantom of the opera before making that claim,” you told him. “also sure,” you shrugged nonchalantly to hide your obvious excitement. “i have time to drop by.” 

even though he’s a part of the theatre club, fyodor dostoevsky was pretty much an enigma to the rest of the members. his contributions to the club activities were mainly in the form of the musical compositions he created for the plays. however, because he was always busy practicing for upcoming recitals apart from his music classes, fyodor rarely ever attended rehearsals. 

but on the off-chance that he did drop by in a rehearsal to discuss with sigma or attend a cast meeting, you’d spend the entire time just... admiring him. everything from the calm and articulate way he spoke to messy way his hair framed his face. and on that day when fyodor decided to demonstrate the music by playing it himself on his cello, you realized you were head over heels for this man.

and so you, practically jumped at every chance you got to pick up sheet music or recordings from fyodor’s apartment. you already set the expectation that you wouldn’t be around for long. and you were right about that... usually.

...

“fyodor? hello?” you knocked on the door for what was probably the fifth time already. it was freezing cold outside and you were desperate to get in. pressing your ear against the door, you heard a weak voice say ‘come in. door’s open’ and then tentatively, you unlocked the door.

whenever you saw fyodor, he was always wearing a clean, button-up shirt and slacks since he was also at orchestra practice. so of course, it was a complete shock to you to come into his apartment to find fyodor dressed in bright red pajamas with a mickey mouse logo on the center of his shirt with a colorful patchwork quilt thrown across his shoulders. not to mention, he was seated in his couch with sheet music and tissues strewn around him. 

upon closer look, you could tell from his sunken eyes and slightly red nose that flu season had struck fyodor. 

“oh, y/n, it’s you,” he sniffled as you hesitated near the door. “come in. it’s cold out.” 

“are you alright?” you asked, approaching fyodor. because you had gotten the flu a bit earlier that month, you weren’t too concerned about catching it again. “you look, well, sick.” 

“just a cold,” fyodor waved his hand. “anyway, did sigma send you for something?” 

“he’s asking for a follow-up with the music for the new scene,” you remembered. 

“oh, that...”  fyodor nodded, frowning as he searched the sheet music scattered around him. “i’m sure it’s around here somewhere and... i forgot to do it.” fyodor sighed at the realization. “don’t worry. i’ll just whip something up real quick,” he sniffed before picking up a blank piece of sheet music.

“well you don’t have to right now. fyodor, you’re sick. you should get some rest before working,” you sat down on the couch as fyodor bent over the coffee table with a pencil ready. “i mean, no offense but i doubt you can come up with anything in your current state.”

“nonsense, y/n,” fyodor scoffed and began to scribble something on the page. “i am a trained classical musician. composing is merely second-nature to someone like myself. why, i’m sure i have a melody coming along right--” 

“fyodor.” 

“yes?”

“you just wrote the letter g on the corner of the page and then started drawing random squiggles.” 

fyodor looked down at his squiggled-over sheet music with a completely deadpan expression and stared at it for a good ten seconds. “i thought it was a g-clef,” he whispered to himself.

“do you... want me to help you to your room?” you asked softly. fyodor sniffed.

“yes please.”

...

when you headed out to his apartment earlier that morning, you didn’t expect to be taking care of a sick fyodor for the rest of the afternoon. for someone who always looked put-together and composed, fyodor was terrible at taking care of himself. even after coming down with the flu a few days ago, he still insisted on practicing the cello in his apartment. and, judging by the empty cans in the sink, you could tell that all he was eating was instant soup.

and, sick fyodor was kind of... whiny. it took a lot of convincing on your part for him to agree not to work on the compositions in bed, or practice his bowing. he complained about his pillows ‘not being plump enough’ and that his socks didn’t match (because he didn’t do the laundry). 

“i don’t think i’ll even be able to sleep at this rate, y/n. my head is spinning but i’m not nearly tired enough to sleep. maybe i’ll drift off for just a bit but it won’t be that restful,” fyodor said, laying down on his not-plump pillows before he was out like a light five minutes after.

“drift off for just a bit, huh?” you chuckle slightly to yourself as you watch him. fyodor was curled up on his side, hugging one of the pillows with his blanket wrapped tightly around him. 

you were definitely in a strange situation being in your crush’s house while he was sick in bed. there wasn’t really a need for you to stay; you could just leave some medicine on the nightstand and a note with instructions.

“mmm... key needs to be in e minor,” fyodor mumbled in his sleep before turning over on his side. you bit back a laugh for fear of waking him up. 

‘what the heck? i’ll stay and make him some actual soup,’  you ultimately decided.

...

fyodor woke up to the smell of something delicious cooking, and that was something he rarely woke up to. aside from the fact that he could actually smell out of his currently unclogged nose, fyodor felt much better than he had been in a while. 

‘y/n must still be here,’ was his next thought after waking up. and he must admit, that was very reassuring to know. fyodor didn’t have the best constitution and whenever flu season rolled around, he expected being sick for a length of time. 

after wrapping the blanket around himself, fyodor curiously crept into the kitchen to find you standing over at the stove, stirring something in a pot while humming to yourself. there was a bag of groceries on the counter too. ‘did they... buy me food?’ 

he coughed slightly to get your attention.

“oh, fyodor. you’re up,” you turned around, smiling at him. “how are you feeling?”

“a bit... better,” he confessed, fully aware that he said all those things about not being asleep before embarrassingly falling asleep for two hours. 

“great! soup’s going to be ready in a few minutes. if you freeze it you’ll have enough for a few days,” you added. “also bought some oranges. they should be good for you.” 

“you... don’t really have to do this you know?” fyodor ended up blurting out, except it sounded a bit harsh. “i mean, i’m sure you went through all the trouble.” 

“don’t worry about it,” you waved him off. “you’ve been working really hard so i get that you don’t think of yourself much. let me do this one thing for you as a friend,” you smiled.

“also, i’m genuinely concerned at the amount of canned soup you’ve been consuming.” 

“canned soup isn’t that bad for you,” fyodor insisted. 

“yeah, and i’m sure you enjoy that metallic aftertaste quite a lot,” you quipped. fyodor opened his mouth to retort something before closing it abruptly. the knowing smirk on your face only made him glance away. instead, he busied himself with retrieving the clean bowls, luckily there were two left, from the dishrack and setting them on the table. you were humming again while you turned off the stove before serving the soup.

“chicken noodle soup, huh?” fyodor couldn’t help but chuckle.

“a classic,” you shrugged with a smile. “it’s a secret family recipe too so it’s bound to get you to feel better.” 

“you’re making it up, aren’t you?” 

“yeah, i got it off the internet,” you giggled. fyodor chuckled and took a sip of the soup. it was deliciously hot and flavorful and best of all, the soup didn’t have a metallic aftertaste.

“after eating, you can take some of medicine that i bought in case you have a headache or body pain, as long as you didn’t take any four hours before.”

“what?” fyodor blinked at you.

“you know, don’t take the medicine within four hours of each other,” you explained slowly. “also it’s better that you drink some now that you’ve eaten.” 

fyodor not-so vaguely recalled all those times he drank medicine on an empty stomach and feeling even more sick after. “i... was not aware of that,” he admitted. you sighed with your eyes closed.

“i’m amazed you’re still alive.” 

...

“so, flu season struck the phantom of the opera, huh?” nikolai sighed after you told him about your weekend.

“yeah,” you nodded, remembering the sight of fyodor on the couch dressed in his pajamas with a blanket wrapped around him. that was going to be burned in your mind for a long time. “he’s... kind of terrible at taking care of himself.” 

“that’s fyodor for you,” sigma added. the three of you had arrived at the backstage area of the theatre early and were busying yourselves with sorting through the various props that you had. “you know, one time he even went to a recital with a 39-degree fever. practically collapsed when he was off-stage.”

“i’ll one-up that story,” nikolai practically sprang off the box he was sitting on. “okay, so there was this one time i came over to fyodor’s’apartment while he was sick and he was so delirious he--”

“you guys do know that it’s rude to talk about people when they’re not there.”

the three of you practically spun around at the same time to find fyodor leaning against the doorframe of the backstage entrance with his arms crossed. he was looking way better than last time you saw him.

“fyodor,” sigma blinked, clearly stunned. “you’re... you’re here.”

“you’re alive!” nikolai cried dramatically, skipping over to fyodor and flinging his arms around fyodor who showed obvious discomfort. 

“of course i am,” he scoffed. “thanks in part to y/n.”

hearing that made your face flush a bit. “i-it was nothing,” you stammered, dodging nikolai’s curious stare. 

“anyway, i finished the compositions for the next scene,” fyodor strode forward, handing sigma a folder of sheet music and a flash drive. “let me know if it’s to your liking.”

“thank you. i’ve been having director’s block with that one. this should help,” sigma sighed gratefully. “i’ll give it a listen if you don’t mind.” and before you could say anything else, he scurried out to the stage area.

“and i’m going to leave for some arbitrary reason just so you two would have some alone time,” nikolai snickered at the indignant expression on your face before leaving you and fyodor alone backstage.

“oh, nikolai. always... funny,” you laughed nervously. 

“indeed,” fyodor nodded. “i only have the vaguest idea of what’s been going on during rehearsals. i should probably come around more often.”

“oh, we understand that you’re busy and all. but you’ve already been helping a lot with composing the music so don’t sweat it if you feel like you haven’t been active,” you said.

“well, that’s not the only reason i want to come around more often,” fyodor’s eyes flickered up to meet yours and you felt your face heat up again. god, it was so much easier to talk to to him and joke around when he was sick with the flu.

“in any case, i’m glad you feel better now,” you cleared your throat. “i hope the soup helped.”

“it did. i was sad to see it run out,” fyodor chuckled. and before you could even consider what it was you were going to say, you went and blurted out: 

“i could make it for you again.”

“oh?” fyodor’s eyebrows flew up and a smirk played on his lips.

“i-if you want to of course,” you stammered. 

“i’d like that,” fyodor smiled, much to your surprise. “if you could update me on rehearsals and the play we’re doing, that would be great. how does friday sound?”

“friday sounds great.”

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumusdomain​​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa​ @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel​​ @kac-chowsballs​​ @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks

[nomunamuinmybrain]

Work you out (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: M

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.4K

In collaboration with the lovely @alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn94

Disclaimer: if you are under the age of 18 please know that this contains heavy sexual themes and mature language.

Summary: Working for Hybe has been an experience. Being Jungkook’s manager is another story. His sharp eyes, firm jawline and snarky attitude was a deadly combination to begin with. The guy easily found his way to your heart and you simply couldn't take it anymore.

Thinking back to how I managed to land such an unimaginable employment opportunity must have been a miracle. Unquestionably, working for HYBE had so many benefits; I swore to never leave this place. Sure, I was a simple manager's assistant, but I was by the side of one of the managers that handled the most important talent in the stretch of South Korea, the entire globe to be honest, BTS. I was assigned the position of assistant to the manager of one of the guys, none other than Jeon Jungkook. I really couldn’t believe my luck. Not only was I a part of one of the most skyrocketing influential enterprises in the country, but I also had the chance to meet some of the most inspiring people in the whole world! Who would have thought?!

Did I have a crush on the guy by the end of my first month working here? Yes, but who wouldn't? He is the sweetest, always polite and courteous. I've met my share of self-boasting asshats; this industry is flooded with such. This guy is worth billions and he has remained ridiculously humble. Word got around about him being a wonderful young man and I could positively say he is so much more up close. Jungkook is ridiculously handsome that’s a given already, but his personality was the real deal-maker. He reminds me of a dark stormy thundery night where I cover myself with my favourite warm fluffy blanket starring out of the window a rich flavored hot chocolate in hand.

In general, I quite enjoy working at the company’s principled environment. Don’t get me wrong, nothing in this world is rainbows and butterflies, but overall, I can confidently say that it’s been a mainly positive experience. Thankfully, the department I am in is assembled by kind, funny people who like to get things done. There hasn’t been a day were I regretted coming here. As for my daily duties as an assistant, working for Jungkook meant keeping up with his appointments, helping him with anything at anytime, managing his schedule, making sure it matches with the other guys' and so much more. I was required to work around the clock and as a single independent woman in her late twenties who was trying to figure out the world around her that didn’t sound like such a bad idea, though I digress. Essentially, I was one of the employees responsible for pretty much anything and everything he needed. Our department was at his disposal 24/7 running around, living that busy life.

That's until the pandemic struck. That was the first time I thought to myself that this might be nature’s valiant plan to get back what man so forcefully took from her. Suddenly, everything was canceled; life got put on a hold. My dearest supervisor, Jungkook's manager, had to stay at home because he had kids. In fact, a lot of people had to stay at home. Abruptly, days became weeks and weeks became months. The desperation and frustration we were feeling was like nothing else ever experienced. Truthfully, it felt like something had been stolen from us and we could never get it back. In this manner, when the gears finally started grinding again I was assigned to be the on-site manager for Jungkook. That meant being in direct contact with him more so than before and of course, being responsible for a ton of other obligations.  

Not going to lie, the first months were slightly awkward for both of us and understandably so. We both were used to very different working arrangements. I might have been working behind the scenes before, but now I had to step into the spotlight becoming his own personal shadow, and I am sure he wasn’t really comfortable with that. Taken into account the current situation everyone looked like a volcano ready to erupt.  

Once, I happened to accidentally step in a not so common incident; maybe it was a circumstance I wasn’t supposed to witness. He was on the phone at the time, when I saw him. That’s why I decided it was best if I stayed behind the half closed door of the studio. I couldn’t hear what he was saying and it was none of my business after all, but I could tell by the minute I laid my eyes on him that something was wrong. Something had been bothering him; irritation written all over his face. He was pacing back and forth, phone still on his ear. He was clenching his fist so hard I wondered if his nails cut into his skin. He was breathing heavily, almost as if he would burst and his muscles grew tense.  

Then, in an instant, it seemed that the call ended and as he was putting the phone in his pocket he slammed his fists down onto the table a loud bang echoing in the room. After some consideration, I knocked on the door to make my presence known and he sharply looked at me. Without having the chance to say anything to him he let out a loud growl and left the room leaving me dumbfounded and unaware by the door. Soon after that, he apologized for the way he acted confessing that he had an unfortunate falling out with one of his closest friends and at the time he couldn’t process what was happening. I would never forget that day. It was the day I came across a not so familiar side to him.

From that day forward, things miraculously became easier and Jungkook was way more relaxed around my presence, we joked around often and he even texted me to ask about a variety of things outside of regular working hours. We managed to develop a teasing relationship full of endless borderline flirtatious banter. He had this other side to him that only a selected few got the chance to know. Jeon Jungkook was indeed a comforting raging night, but he was also an infuriating playful mischievous brat when he wanted to be. This in all honesty, made him a hundred times more irresistible in my eyes.

Life was going on smoothly until Jungkook decided that taking after midnight trips to the gym was perfectly acceptable, insisting that I escort him instead of his bodyguard. I cursed every single time but I went anyway. Forty-five minutes after midnight he was lifting weights, unbothered. Taking secret short glances towards him I contemplated what I had done in my previous life to deserve this torment. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about the late hour, but to have this view in front of my eyes was causing me both mental and physical pain. The guy was clearly sculpted by the gods. With his broad chest, muscular arms and thick thighs he could have anyone he ever wanted. He even sported an hourglass figure; He is insanely unreal. That’s the main reason why I decided to sit there preoccupied with a silly game on my phone to kill time until the suffering ended. I was barely hanging from a string at the verge of blowing off the barrier between my personal and professional life.

Out of the blue, with a loud grunt, he dropped the weights, drawing me out of my contemplation. He looked annoyed for whatever reason. He tried his best to seem nonchalant but it was obvious, in his beautiful stern eyes. Could he be craving for an audience? Abandoning every rational thought I had, I put my phone away, looked in his direction as I got up to get water. I smirked at his clear annoyance. Surely, we weren't supposed to interact with the artists this way but I am cranky and sleepy, and for the first time ever, he was being kind of an ass to me. Was I perhaps the reason behind his sudden personality change? The thought kept floating at the back of my mind.  

This kept going on for about three weeks or so and I gave him nothing. His annoyance prominent in his expression, more and more as the weeks went by. He was hot but I am sure all he had been seeking was an audience given that he missed it, or so I thought. Thursday evening rolls around and I was particularly iffy tonight ‘because I was extremely frustrated, sexually. This one was making my situation worse, sporting a tight black tank top and skinny grey sweatpants which made him look like a treat. He could easily pass for a bodyguard with those broad well-built shoulders. As my eyes scanned his body I realized this was the first time his tatted sleeve was on display. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander. By the time I was done his eyes were already fixed on mine and I turned away immediately, embarrassment written all over my face.  

Seeking solace in the women’s bathroom I tried to extinguish this ravenous yearning. The feeling of cold water did nothing to help the burning desire that was building inside me. Without warning, a knock at the door was heard, his sweet angelic voice following "Are you okay?" he asked, the remnants of a smirk could be heard still. "Jungkook you cannot be here, I am okay. I'll be out in a minute." I exclaimed, as calm as I could. "It's been ten minutes. I can't continue unless you're there." He insisted, I heard him chuckle after that.

With that, it was now or never, I pushed the door’s handle and made my way outside rolling my eyes in the process and he caught that, quickly moving closer, clearly annoyed, jaw clenched, eyes taking in my features, making him look not quite intimidating but definitely interesting. No, it was my mistake. Not just interesting, he looked ravishing. "As I said, I'll be out in a minute. Then you can finish up" I argued. But he didn't budge, moving even closer, if that was even possible, he was almost a breath away. "I don't feel like working out anymore" he declared like a child whose toy was taken away from him. As if I chose to play heads or tails with my career, I poked the beast further, "What is it that you want to do then?" I asked making sure he heard the annoyance in my tone. Coming even closer, to the point where he was completely pressed up against me, "You" he uttered calmly yet authoritatively. Before I could process what he had just said his soft lips crushed mine with a vengeance, thirsty. Pulling my lip with his teeth, he kept planting kisses from my lips to my jaw trailing down to my neck and décolletage; a surprised panting left my lips.  

It felt as if I had involuntarily awakened this beastly hunger within him. His kisses insatiable and his touch was possessive, "I've been thinking about this for so long" he confessed as he took my hoodie off. "Sitting there, not giving a word let alone a glimpse. If you think this is off-limits you're wrong" he growled pointing at himself. "I can guarantee that once we're done here you definitely won't be able to look at me, ever." As he said all that, he managed to get me in a compromising position against the sink, his slim waist in between my legs. He kept my gaze as he lowered his head between my thighs. Little shit kept giving me hickeys on the soft flesh of my inner thighs, so close to my now dripping core. He enjoyed tormenting me and it showed. I was helpless but oh, God was all of this hot. He licked a stripe over my soaked panties, "Oh baby, you smell delicious" and with one hand he took off my underwear completely.

He sank in my folds, letting a guttural moan that I felt vibrating through my core. Not being able to think about what was happening I let myself indulge in my carnal desire my hands tangled in between his luscious hair.  

He loved food and I've watched him eat before, but this must be one of his favorites ‘cause he was doing his best not to let a drop go to waste; he acted like a man starved. His hands held me in place, thankfully, ‘cause everything was too much; nothing could stop me from shaking, feeling everything deep in my core, he was too much. He just had to be good at everything. He kept a torturous tempo, from sucking my clit to his sinful tongue penetrating me, and as tears gathered around my eyes he decided to add his slender fingers in bringing me closer to heaven than I've ever been. "That's it baby, let go. Let go for me" he exhaled and just like that I had the most intense climax. My limbs felt numb, my whole body felt like rubber.  

Before I could register what was happening he was back at it, sucking my over stimulated clit, my thighs unconsciously closing around his head as oversensitivity hit. "One more, please, come on baby, you can do it" he begged. He kept pumping his fingers while sucking my clit, as if it was his only goal in life. My screams muffled through my own hand clamped on my mouth as I reached my high for a second time that night. I felt it take over me with such intensity I didn't register what had happened. He emerged from between my thighs, soaked from me squirting and with a proud look on his face he declared "Now I look like I had the workout of a lifetime".  

He helped me get dressed and pulled me close for a soft peck. He must have noticed my concerned look because he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and said "Don't be scared about this, we can work it out. I really like you and I'd like you to stick around". Starring into his eyes, I nodded and he pulled me close for the sweetest kiss, trying to tame my bewildered hair. He helped me get dressed and got out the door first to make sure that no one was around. I waited for a moment and then I got a text.  

[kitkatopinions]

I feel the need to hear your opinion on this since this is something I've been thinking about recently, and it's how crwby handles complex relationships/abuse in their show... It's infuriating.

I can't tell if they genuinely think they are writing this in a good way or if they know they're half asss-ing it and don't care since the fandom will eat it up anyways. Two big examples that come to mind for me in the last volume are emerald & cinder and whitley & jacques. In both instances the the victim never gets a moment of closure or a moment of breaking away from their abuser, nor are either victims allowed to show any sort of 'hesitance' (for a lack of a better term) related to their abuse.

Emerald (despite being all over cinder before Midnight), just conveniently forgets about her for the finale. Same for whitley. He just completely forgets about jacques (the man who manipulated him from birth) the moment weiss hugs him. On a shallow level, watching a victim pay no mind to their abuser is satisfying, but it being so immediate is just unrealistic and takes away from the pain that we are supposed to think these characters have suffered.

One of the worst things about suffering from abuse is how is affects the victims even when they have left the abusive relationship, but crwby seems to want to erase that completely from characters who should experience that for plot convenience.

It seems like the lesson learned from this is "if you were abused, just get over it and be convenient to our heroes or else!" And it's pretty gross imo.

Thoughts?

I thought that I would put these two asks together and take this opportunity to talk about the abuse victims in RWBY and how they're handled. I've tried to think long and hard about what to say about this, because this is an important topic to me and something that's personal for me. I'm an abuse survivor, but I have a complicated relationship with that part of myself and I'm never really comfortable talking about it much. But despite the fact that I've experienced abuse, I recognize that I'm not a professional sensitivity editor, not a therapist, and not someone who's studied the effects of abuse.

I'm simply writing this based on my own feelings and what I've picked up witnessing other abuse victims discuss their own feelings about abused character. There will be RWBY criticism below the keep reading. Please keep in mind that I'm not speaking for all abuse survivors and am only trying to articulate my own feelings in regards to this issue.

The first thing to note is that there isn't one, correct, right way to write an abuse victim in my opinion. Lots of people have different reactions and responses to abuse, the way they were abused is often also different, causing different reactions.

In the first anon, it's noted that Emerald and Whitley both seem to move on from their abuse quickly and with very little effect on them or their stories. Many abuse victims put their experiences on the back burner or 'in a box' to deal with later, or mask and pretend that they're alright or that their abuse just didn't happen. Some of them let their feelings or their anger simmer over time. There are also abuse victims who do just... Move on with relative ease. I'd imagine that's very rare though. (again, I'm not not an expert or any sort of psychologist.)

In the same way, an abuse victim becoming an abuser in their own interactions is something that one hundred percent happens. Cinder, Salem, Adam, and even Blake and Winter have all acted in abusive ways towards the people around them (though obviously Blake and Winter acted much less abusive than any of the villains mentioned.) It might be very hard for abuse victims to not fall back into those patterns of abuse that they've suffered, especially if they go through it at an early age. I'm not very comfortable talking about my own experiences, but myself and my siblings have all had to fight down toxic, hurtful traits that we picked up either through emulating or through survival. And it's hard to do that. Portraying characters who have been abused that lost that fight and might have abusive tendencies or slip themselves is - to me at least - sometimes even helpful in working through my own feelings.

And there are definitely one hundred percent abuse victims who feel like the way they were treated is deserved, that they 'earned' it, that they must 'make up for it.' Oz is in this category. There's nothing wrong with the concept of a character who feels responsible for their abuser or the hurt their abuser has caused to others, there’s nothing wrong with a character who tends to act as though everything is their fault and who thinks very poorly of themselves.

In theory. But the problem is that in application, there are a lot of pitfalls and struggles that come with writing for abuse victims. Understanding, thoughtfulness, and care are not the RWBY writers’ strength, and any time you portray real life issues that strongly impact the real life people involved in them, you have to be aware and careful with the messages you’re sending. This is obviously very important when someone writes for any minority or oppressed group or the issues that they face, but it’s also important to remember when you write for abuse victims, because they do have stigmas around them and deal with stereotypes and harmful portrayals as well. Let’s look at what I consider some harmful or hurtful pitfalls when it comes to abused characters.

Are the abused characters treated as the victims they are? If the abuse a character faces is treated as comical, treated as unimportant, or treated as deserved, that’s an obvious major flaw. Sad to say, but RWBY does not pass this. On two separate occasions, a character is hit by someone close to them in a way that clearly causes them some pain, with Blake hitting Sun across the face for following her, and Winter hitting Weiss for answering a question incorrectly and again for failing in her training (I tend to be more sympathetic towards Blake’s situation, as it is more gray with her clearly thinking Sun had stalked her which is a clear trigger from her own abuse, but this is an explanation, not an excuse and the fact that it was framed as funny rather than something Blake shouldn’t have done and should apologize for is the problem.) They also do not treat Ozpin like the victim when Qrow punches him in the face, having no one call Qrow out for it and having him never express guilt or try to apologize for it. Yes, I know Ozpin had retreated, but they never showed Qrow even make an effort to get Ozpin to come back so he could apologize. . They also ‘redeem’ Hazel and give him a ‘partially right’ storyline despite his openly beating Ozpin, unfairly blaming him for the death of his sister, and insisting that Ozpin deserved to be tortured. On top of this, despite having been horribly abused by the SDC, Adam isn’t treated with even an ounce of sympathy or understanding and Jacques Schnee and the SDC is treated like a more comical-ish nuisance in season seven and eight. This is greatly flawed. Hitting someone because they lied to you or kept secrets from you is not okay, hitting someone because they said something you don’t like is not okay. This should not be treated as funny and it shouldn’t be treated as the fault of the person who was hit for not being a good enough friend.

Are the abused characters mostly villains, when the heroes have never faced it? The reason for this is obvious, although it’s valid to have a villain be an abuse victim, it’s never alright to villainize abuse victims. Making the majority of your bad guys abuse victims and your good guys have positive relationships is in my opinion, harmful. Point for RWBY, this is not the case for their show. Mercury, Salem, and Cinder on the bad side are all abuse victims with Raven being a possible, but unconfirmed abuse victim as well. While Weiss, Blake, Ozpin, and Whitley are also abuse victims, with Qrow and May both being possible, but unconfirmed abuse victims, and Winter and Emerald are both abuse victims who were on the side of a villain and then turned good.

Is the abuse more severe in the ‘bad’ characters and lighter in the ‘good’ characters? If the abuse that the good guys faced is mostly lighter things and the abuse that the villains suffered is worse and more severe, that might send some bad messages that people who suffer more are automatically worse people, or ‘unsalvageable’ or ‘too broken,’ as opposed to the people that ‘there’s still hope for.’ Unfortunately, I think RWBY is almost a tie? We’ve never seen Weiss or Emerald suffer more than a hit, we don’t know for sure that Whitley or Winter were ever victims of physical abuse. Ozpin and Blake’s abuse is worse, however, as they are hunted down by their abusers who attempt to murder them, make them suffer, and hurt their loved ones. They also were heavily emotionally manipulated and victim blamed by their abusers. And on the villain side, Mercury was beat by his father who hated him and stole his semblance (an extension of your soul, I believe, in canon,) and the abuse led to the loss of his limbs. Cinder was forced to work hard labor by her abusive employer and the ‘stepsisters’ treated her badly, and she was physically electrocuted. We see her abuse extend to Salem using her Grimm arm to hurt her, copying the effects of the necklace. Adam was also a child laborer who worked in terrible conditions who got his face branded by his employer, in the SDC, which had to have been anti-faunus charged due to his bull horns. We don’t see Salem ever physically abused, but know that she was mistreated, isolated, and neglected by her ‘cruel’ father. So it’s not quite a tie, there are more severely abused characters amongst the villains than the heroes, but this is close enough that I don’t consider this much of a strike against them.

In the villains, is the abuse they faced given as ‘reason’ for their villainy? As I said before, villainizing abuse victims isn’t the way to go. A good way to avoid this - I think - is not have abuse be the sole reason for someone’s fall into a life of crime or cruelty. This is something that RWBY... Fails at imo. When showing us Mercury’s backstory, we’re introduced to him through seeing that he had just killed his abuser who cost him his legs, and then gets recruited by Cinder who at the very least likely emotionally and physically abused him the same way she did with Emerald, leading to the conclusion that the only reason he’s there at all is due to abuse. However, he’s just a teen and it’s possible that (like Emerald) he’ll be redeemed. A much more condemning story to talk about is Cinder’s. After people had been clambering for a Cinder backstory since volume three, RWBY finally showed us one. But it doesn’t include Cinder meeting Salem, why she joined her, her proving herself, none of that. Instead, Cinder’s backstory was entirely focused on her abusive situation as a child, entirely focused on her suffering. Cinder killing her abusers and then killing the teacher who decided to arrest her for getting herself out of her abusive situation was portrayed as the only needed backstory, the explanation to why she’s a power hungry, abusive, cruel, selfish, and just plain evil person. ‘She was abused’ is the explanation for why Cinder is where she is and why she is who she is in RWBY. That’s highly problematic to me.

In the heroes, are they “the Perfect, Sanitized Abuse Victims?” As I said before, there is no one type of abuse victim, but if someone has several abuse victims and they’re all either submissive, sad, and self-doubting, but gentle and caring and soft or dropped their abuser like a hotcake and never looked back, never seem affected, never really talk about it after they left... That’s bothersome to me personally. Measuring how RWBY is in this particular subject is... A little harder than I thought it would be. Let’s start by looking at the most prevalent abuse victim, Blake. She’s one of the reasons why this is hard to gauge, because for the first five seasons, Blake was deeply flawed and clearly affected by her abuse in ways that made her ‘unappealing.’ Blake was cynical, stubborn, cold, hard to get to know, she didn’t trust easily, she lashed out at her friends regularly, ran from her problems, made choices for her friends, and had a very negative self image. This didn’t stop her from being a good character and friend with a lot of good sides, too, and she had real, important friendships. This was - to me - a really great portrayal of someone clearly affected by their trauma, with lots to work on, who was still a good person. Some of her faults and problems started to get resolved in a natural way through her journey with Sun in volumes four and five, but when season six came around, many of Blake’s other traits suddenly vanished. No longer stubborn, independent, or cynical, and no longer standing up for herself, or really displaying her temper or hardheadedness or her struggles with getting to know people... Blake became more submissive, sad, self-doubting, but gentle, caring, and soft. Sigh. As the first ask mentioned, Whitley and Emerald both seemed to drop their abusers quickly the second they were removed from their lives again. it’s also worth noting that Whitley was treated with nothing but coldness and contempt by Weiss until he ‘proved himself’ by doing something selfless. Weiss did more or less drop Jacques the moment she left her house in V4, only mentioning him or her experiences when she’s using it to talk about Blake, and when she confronted him again in V7, she did so as someone who is proving she no longer cares. Ozpin seems to be the only one still unable to move on from his abuse and the ‘unappealing’ abuse victim. The first anon is right, there’s something satisfying with seeing an abuse victim move on like their abuser didn’t matter. But when almost all your abuse victims do, and one of the only other ones is turned into a submissive and soft support based / romance based character, and the only really ‘unappealing’ abuse victim is someone we’re supposed to see as ‘gray’... There’s something off there, in my opinion.

Were the abuse victims treated respectfully and thoughtfully by their friends, and if not, were they portrayed as wrong? This probably isn’t something that really even needs an explanation. Abuse victims should be able to set their own boundaries and tell their stories only when they want, when they feel comfortable, Their friends should be understanding of this and not force anything from them. In the case of Blake and Weiss, this is handled really well! Their friends let them talk about their experiences in their own time, and they’re understanding and validate their feelings when it comes up (much more common with Blake than with Weiss, who like I said, seemed to move on from her dad quickly after she left.) However, when it comes to Oz... This is all wrecked. Although unintentional (no one knew how deeply tied up with Salem Ozpin was or how intimate the memories they were going to watch were,) our main characters still forced Ozpin’s deepest and most personal secrets out of him in a fit of upset while he was tearfully begging them not to. He was forced to relive his most traumatic experiences in hi-def with other people watching with him, all his secrets and all his abuse wrenched away from him in what was clearly a very painful way. And then no one showed Ozpin even the slightest bit of sympathy or understanding for what he’d gone through, and no one ever apologized for what they had forced him to relive. In fact, Team RWBY were clearly displayed as in the right, and Oz was displayed as completely wrong for not trusting them implicitly. He had to apologize to them, which they acted begrudgingly accepting of as if they hadn’t shouted at an abuse victim after forcing him to relive all his worst experiences.

Are some abuse victims portrayed as bad for things that other abuse victims aren’t portrayed as bad for? Like the second ask says, in RWBY, Cinder and Mercury are treated as villains for having killed their abusers and Cinder is almost arrested for it, it’s considered a step in the direction of their villainy. But Blake is (rightfully) treated as the victim who was forced, who had no choice, who just wanted the abuse to stop. This is hypocritical and fundamentally flawed. I think this is a reflection of the fact that Cinder and Mercury are meant to be ‘bad’ abuse victim, who had violent tendencies and anger issues, and were already featured as bad guys before their backstory’s dropped, whereas Blake was meant to be a better abuse victim who (by season six) was starting to get written as a soft girl who just wanted to help her friends.

All in all, although there’s some things that I think that RWBY did well enough, I definitely think that I would consider their portrayal of abuse victims to be lacking. This is just my opinion and the way I feel about the writing, but there are a lot of ways to look at it. I think overall, I just really wish that the RWBY writers had been a little more sensitive and spent a little longer focusing on the character arcs involved in abuse recovery. (There’s still a chance for Whitley, Weiss, and Emerald to get more focus in volume ten, though, so long as the writers don’t timeskip!)

[jpegjade]

Physical Therapy - Ch. 1 (Spencer)

WELCOME TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!! in honor of this bish starting physical therapy in real life (and missing it bc i can’t drive and my mom and i’s schedules not being synched on google calendar all the time) i’ve decided to write a fic about it. it will be a little series with a goal (yes, an end game) and it’ll be cute. some of it is based on actual things that happen and some is literally just the story. ENJOY.

gender: neutral

tw: nothing that i can think of

genre: fluff | angst

Description: After getting shot in the leg, spencer goes through physical therapy before he can get back in the field completely. What happens when he starts to fall for his physical therapy assistant? 

__________________

Two honks at 6am meant that it was time for Spencer to get going. Derek was downstairs, in the car, waiting on boy wonder to crutch his way out of the apartment complex. Derek wasn’t sure how to feel about this trip considering he missed his early morning run for this but he knew how nervous Spencer was for his evaluation today so he didn’t mind as much as he could have minded. 

Spencer was patiently waiting in a pair of very short shorts, mismatched socks, and running shoes. He threw on a t-shirt and looked in the mirror, noting how tired he looked. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately for some reason but he couldn’t be sure why. He combed out his hair one more time before he and his crutches headed to the elevators. 

“Ready, kid?” Derek said, opening the front door for Spencer like a world class chauffeur would if Spencer was a celebrity. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Spencer mumbled.

In truth, Spencer was more than ready to get started on his physical therapy journey. He wanted to get back in the field full time, adrenaline pumping, connecting with victims, walking again. He didn’t mind the assisted mobility but it was hard for him to know that the best he could do sometimes was stay back in the office or hang out in Garcia’s batcave. 

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence between the two men. Derek was thinking about how he could make up his missed morning run by doing another type of high cardio workout while Spencer was just trying to figure out why it had to be him. He wouldn’t wish the frustration of his recovery process on anyone else on the team but the frustration of the recovery process just got to him on some days. Today was one of those days. 

Derek pulled up to the physical therapy clinic sooner than Spencer hoped. Part of that was because Derek was a very fast driver while the other part was because Spencer wasn’t paying attention for most of the drive. 

“You owe me one.” Derek said, completely joking. Well… Partially. That morning run was what kept him awake during the day, energizing him for work. 

“Do you want to come in?” Spencer said, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

Spencer’s hands were tapping his leg as he awaited Derek’s answer. He was nothing short of a nervous wreck on the inside. All he could think about was how much pain he would be in once the evaluation was over and the physical therapist had finished poking and prodding at his knee. He hated to think that it would be worse than everything else going on. Plus he still had to go to work today. 

“Sure, kid.” Derek said. 

Derek wasn’t going to sit in the car and do nothing the whole time so he might as well support his friend. 

Climbing out of the car, the boys slowly made it to the sliding glass doors of the physical therapy clinic. Much to Spencer’s surprise, it was nothing like he originally imagined it to be. Some part of him thought it would somewhat resemble the clinic where his mother resided but it was completely different. There were floor to ceiling walls for over half of the first floor building. High tech equipment was stationed everywhere from anti gravity treadmills to hand bike motors, medicine balls and so much more. Spencer stood in the doorway, leaning on his crutches, while he took everything in. There was so much light in the air, it was almost like the feeling of recovery was airy and not meant to bog him down. This was a strange feeling for him to comprehend...

“You coming, pretty boy?” Derek called, taking a break from chatting with the pretty receptionist. 

Spencer and his crutches walked over to the front desk and grabbed the paperwork that covered how much pain he was in today. He filled it out quickly, hoping to get everything over with sooner than later. He was already here so he might as well just finish everything quickly so he could get out of the place. 

When he finished writing everything down, he returned the paperwork to the receptionist who slipped him a piece of paper and pointed to Derek. Spencer already knew it was the receptionist’s personal phone number and he didn’t even need to look at the paper. Sitting down, Spencer handed Derek to a very confused Derek before it hit him what it was. Derek winked at the receptionist, who blushed before answering the phone. 

“Spencer?” A voice called his name shortly after he sat down. 

It was nice to know that here, he didn’t have to be a doctor. He was just another person healing. He didn’t have to be smart, he could just exist. 

“Good luck.” Derek said, noticing that Spencer’s hand was shaking in the slightest bit. 

“My name is Nora and I will be your lead physical therapist.” The woman said, walking Spencer to a vacant padded table. It reminded Spencer of the types of tables you lay on when you get a massage. 

He only got a massage once when Garcia got stood up on a couples’ massage date. He spent half of his part of the massage giving the masseuse facts about how their job could actually give them an infection from the amount of germs in the air and on the table. His delivery of facts caused the room to be incredibly uncomfortable and bleach the table very thoroughly. By the time he and the masseuse finished, only 5 minutes were left in the massage and Garcia was left horrified and amused at the same time. 

“Don’t worry. We bleach the tables every time someone finishes a session.” Nora said, noticing the look on Spencer’s face. Spencer visibly relaxed and sat on the table. 

“So, Spencer, tell me a little bit about yourself.” Nora followed up, pulling up a backless roller chair. 

“Well, I was on a case and the unsub, unknown subject, shot at a dad but it ended up hitting me in the leg instead and…” Spencer paused, looking at Nora’s amused face. 

“No, I mean tell me about you. Your hobbies, what you do for fun, things like that. I need to do a complete profile for you so I know how your quality of life has been affected and which exercises you can do at home so we aren’t pushing too fast.” Nora smiled at Spencer. 

“I work.” Spencer said in a matter-of-fact tone. He didn’t really have anything else to say. 

“Okay. So you’re a workaholic.” Nora wrote. She was about to ask a new question when you came quickly walking to Nora. 

Spencer was left dumbfounded. There seemed to be a halo of light radiating around you, making you glow. He knew it was the sun finally rising but his brain short circuited as he continued to gaze at you. 

“Hey Nora?” You said, looking down at your boss. “Mrs. Gillespi wants to know why you haven’t come back to check her form. She doesn’t trust me because, her words here, I ‘look like a child who doesn’t know their left foot from the color orange.’” 

“Sure. Here, you can take over Spencer’s evaluation.” She handed you her clipboard.

You looked at the detailed notes on the paper and then up at Spencer, who looked like one of the youngest people here. 

“It’s not often we get cute guys in this place. Other than Kyle. But Kyle’s an asshole who could almost be my dad.” You blurted, not realizing you said it outloud as soon as Nora left. 

You noticed that he started blushing and looking at his converse and you realized that you said something. You usually spoke your thoughts out loud but the people you worked with were used to it so no one bothered to say anything.

“What?” You asked, confused. 

“You called me cute.” Spencer said. “Which is fine. I don’t understand the appeal but I do believe that your blurting of what you perceive as a fact is a coping mechanism. It can also be tied to ADHD, which is a common mental disorder that causes your brain to impulsively say things.” Spencer paused, looking at your face. 

“What?” You asked, again, confused. 

“I’m not saying you have ADHD. I’m a doctor but not that kind of doctor. Although I could get another Ph. D. Prove my father wrong. And…” Spencer realized he was rambling. 

“Cute and a talker.” You said, writing that down. 

You wrote something down on the paper that Spencer couldn’t see but he was curious about. 

“Let’s check out that leg.” You said, pulling out an instrument that looked like a compass. 

You asked Spencer to move his knee certain ways and it wasn’t as bad as Spencer thought. You were gentle, soft even. Your hands were delicate and you ended the session massaging his leg and smiling at him. 

“You were a good patient today, doctor Spencer.” You said, smiling at him. 

Spencer blushed, unable to meet your eyes. 

“You… I mean… I enjoyed our session.” Spencer said. “Which I don’t normally enjoy. Not that I’ve been shot before. Or had physical therapy. Or been here. Or even worked out really.”

“You’re funny, doc.” You smiled. “Your next appointment is Tuesday of next week according to the schedule so I guess I’ll see you then. I can’t wait.” 

Spencer stared at you as he wondered why you were so excited. 

“Why?” Spencer asked. 

“It’s not every day I get the case for a cute guy who is smart and awkward. It’s almost like the heavens have answered my hopes and prayers.” You joked, looking up at the ceiling and putting your hand on your heart. 

“I believe in science.” Spencer stated, grabbing his crutches. 

“A man of science. Does it get any better? What’s your star sign?” You joked. 

“Scorpio.” Spencer stated. 

“Oop. All the scorpios I know have been some hoes. You better not be a hoe, doc.” 

“I’m definitely not a gardening tool, if that’s what you’re referring to. Otherwise, I’d like to thing my lack of dating skills doesn’t qualify as being a… hoe? Although, I don’t believe in the use of the word to describe someone who enjoys spending time with multiple people. I’d like to think the use of the word is meant in jest and fun for a term of endearment.” Spencer stood up, balancing on his crutches. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” You said, walking slowly with Spencer to the front desk. 

“What’s your name?” Spencer asked, turning to you. He realized that he never got your name.

“Y/n.” You smiled. 

The clouds must have parted again because as soon as you turned to walk away from him, towards Nora, you were covered in another halo. And just like that, you were gone again.

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