queer-full-of-fear-18
no thoughts just gay
113 posts
20 🌱 they/them 🌱 multi fandom - multi shipper 🌱sometimes writer [firetrucK808 on ao3]
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 20 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
I can't get them out of my head 😔 🫠👌🙌
27 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 20 days ago
Text
Kirishima and Other Women
Among the criticism and complaints of Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii aka Yakuza Fiance the most common is about how Kirishima "cheats" but what if I were to tell you this aspect of him actually serves an important point within the narrative? Because it does, in fact it serves a few.
First and foremost this is common in the Yakuza subculture. The series is a bit of a send off to Yakuza subculture and media with references that tend to go over your head unless you are into it (most go over mine). This is no different. While this isn't as narratively important it is important to know overall, the series embraces all things Yakuza the good and the bad (unlike some other Yakuza series but that not a rant for here) And like it's implied pretty much all the guys in the series to it to some degree yes even Shoma. I only have some knowledge of this myself so I won't get into it but I would recommend looking into cause it is interesting and makes sense for the series to incorporate on some level due to this and it would feel wrong to not mention it.
Now lets go onto to something more meaty and kinda spoilery, so don't read (though I don't think it will ruin your enjoyment)
So these other women actually help to better understand Kirishima and his relationship/feelings towards Yoshino. One detail the anime leaves out is who these women are and they are women. All college age or older, and all some kind of working professional who has skills or connections Kirishima does not have. Remember Kirishima is not technically Yakuza so he does not have access to resources that actual members of the group have but because he is involved with that world still he has to find a way to make up for what he resources he lacks. The safest resource he has found over the years is women.
Just like how Yoshino unintentionally raises the ire of women, Kirishima does the same to men both intentionally and unintentionally. He has difficulty connecting with people which is a topic in and of itself, but because of this he has learnt how to gain connections on a superficial level so he only does so with those he can feel some control over or feel safer. AKA Women. Kirishima knows he's attractive, and he knows how easy it is to charm people but those had an ongoing connection with are those who understand it's a game and want something back.
It's all quid prop quo, he does something for them and so they in turn do something for him. FYI I'm pretty sure what he's getting out of it isn't psychical pleasure, information, connections and a safe house for sure but actual enjoyment from sex? Not likely again the anime doesn't show it very well but many manga readers have noted how disconnected Kirishima looks during these moments. (Which I will fully get to later) It's an exchange when Yoshino calls him gigolo she's not wrong, and there is a greater discussion to be had here about how early Kirishima started doing this and all the messy stuff that comes with it but because we don't have enough information on how that started I won't get into it. (and its a little off topic)
Overall all though this shows the audience that Kirishima has a kind of warped view of sex and intimacy, he views it as a resource he can use much like his fighting ability, to him it's the same thing. At least at the start.
When Tsubaki tells Kirishima that he is actually very easy to understand when she has Yoshino there to compare, I believe this was a hint the author was giving us. To understand Kirishima and how he really feels about Yoshino who just need to look at how he is with other women.
It is INCREDIBLY telling that the closest thing Kirishima has to an ex-girlfriend is Nao, because notice how that term is never used within the story by the pair as to what their relationship was. Nao calls Ozu an ex but not Kirishima, he's just a guy she had a fling with (with a weird age gap) even though she seems to care more about him than Ozu (another deep dive I'll probably do). Kirishima also never uses the term, he does note that he did like her to some degree more than likely a little more than the other women he has similar situationships with but it was still at its core transactional. They both wanted what the other could offer more than them as a person. (also just fucking for weeks isn't a relationship) Kirishima always keep everyone at a distance, keeps everything close to the vest, makes sure the situation is advantageous to him so he can't get screwed over, every single one. Except Yoshino.
You see it constantly in the series as Kirishima WANTS to connect with Yoshino. He wants to better understand and connect with her in ways he has never bothered to before. In fact you can argue that Kirishima is actually more emotionally unintelligent than Yoshino as he has such difficulty in understanding what Yoshino wants from him. He's so use to being fake, to acting the way women around him want him to be that it throws him through a loop that Yoshino doesn't want that. She forces him to be a person not a persona.
Because of that, like Tsubaki says, he is desperate to understand and connect with her unlike with the women who he is connected to in a superficial way. I know it weirdly upsets some viewers that these women "Know" Kirishima in a way Yoshino hasn't but they don't actually know him Yoshino does. People often conflate love and sex as being the same thing but its not, sometimes it overlaps (and like that should be the standard but its not). This series sort of forces you to confront that assumption, because the real moments of love are in the smaller things.
It's Kirishima helping Yoshino with her garden, its him trying to get her focus on him, its him talking to her about mundane things, its him seeking out the things she wants, its him telling her his birthday, and yes it's him sleeping with other women to keep her safe. A LOT of people don't realize this but it is right there in the text he only reconnected with Nao because it would make the situation in Osaka more advantageous for him to keep Yoshino safe. There is a very good likelihood that if the situation would 100% not get Yoshino involved that Kirishima would have just stayed out of it. (which like damn sucks for you Nao) In actuality Kirishima likely would have preferred just a normal trip to Osaka with Yoshino (even though the chaos does help him confirm his own feelings again) Kirishima wants to desperately to be connected to Yoshino in anyway he can but you don't see that in how he is with other women, and it's in seeing that you can see his authenticity.
For further reference to something I noted earlier look at how Kirishima looks in these scenes with women both during and after sex.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
There's little to no actual emotion or care, he operates almost robotically like you see when he fights someone he doesn't really give a shit about. It is something he's doing cause he has to not cause he wants to. Now compare these reactions to how he reacts when he finds out he accidentally/unconsciously felt Yoshino up
Tumblr media
It's this flurry of emotions you can't even fully quantify like he can't even fathom he really did that. Kind of a strange reaction to give to someone who has done way more for way longer, but it makes perfect sense if you remember love and sex are different. With these other women he didn't care, sex didn't mean anything they could have been anyone and in all honesty if he could get away with not doing it he'd probably prefer it. But he loves Yoshino so he actually cares, he is actually turned on, he actually feels something.
THAT is the point of the side women. Kirishima is very hard to understand his character is a mystery for a majority of the series (and to a degree still is) these women help to solve that mystery if you take the time to really look at what's happening and not get parasocially angry that he is "betraying" his love for her. In his mind he's not because love and sex are different, sex to him until Yoshino is just a tool, its one of the many things that Yoshino changes in him over the course of the series. Lets not forget that one of his side women actually makes him realize the situation with Yoshino isn't all that great (the scene is better in the manga) cause he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize that himself and is a catalyst for the two actually growing closer. Like I keep having to cut myself short cause I'll just go off on how wonderfully complicated and uncomplicated Kirishima is as a character, but this is an important aspect to understand and shouldn't just be written off as "He's a red flag".
These women give us insight into how Kirishima is Pre-Yoshino and shows us how far he's come Post-Yoshino, in a way that could not be done otherwise. So maybe it makes you uncomfy for a bit but it's not bad writing it serves a purpose that could not be done otherwise.
90 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 2 months ago
Text
I’ll just be out here SCREAMING.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
74 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The first time he smiles is seeing his red rascal coming with his blue umbrella, bringing them together, already sharing colors and a home and now more.
Tumblr media
Now they're sharing joy. (He brings color, not only his own but also his. @respectthepetty I love it here and it's only the first episode.)
168 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Another thing I love about Love For Love's Sake is that it's such a perfect fanfic. This series literally went in the direction of un-bury your gays. And that it doesn't matter that the main character commits suicide, that he went through hell twice, that he sabotages himself and makes the same mistakes each time. The series is like, huh, ok then, so let's give our blorbo a THIRD chance! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And the series ends with a happy ending, where the boy gets the boy and everyone is happy and in love. Death what? Sad ending how? Reality when?
Tumblr media
Fanfiction fixes things that seem unfixable. When an author looks at the depressing canon and laughs and says fuck you, not on my watch. The series, sunbae, god, death, The Author, whoever, looked at Myung Ha and said: we will give this sad, pathetic man as many chances, as much love as it takes for him to have his happy ending. Even if it kills him 😤
And you have to respect that.
98 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Having just spent a few hours unwinding on Love for Love’s Sake finale with friends, I gotta say that I think this is the most interesting and thought-provoking work we’ve had in bl in ages. It invites the viewer to think about all the pieces it gave us and come to our own conclusions about what was going on and what it all means, and depending on your personal lens and what you care most about in storytelling, you will connect to different aspects of it. There is no One Correct Read on this show, and I respect that.
139 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #8
Okay, this will probably be my last "hey, look at the cool thing this series did/said!" post but I can't leave you guys without adding a nice tasty cherry on top.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This show!! This freaking show! Gave us the fake second credits in the scene where Myungha and Yeowoon have reunited and the mission has finally changed. The credits that you see here are literally the in-universe credits for the Game they were playing. The names say "Cha Yeowoon, Tae Myungha... etc... Coach, Teacher... (everyone else)... Student 1, Student 2... and... Sunbae." =)))
No actors names. The real credits of production team are shown on the black screen in the very end, just like in every episode. But this here? It's end of the Game, they have reached Happy Ending. And the credits are probably something both Myungha and Yeowoon see as well.
Tumblr media
And if you didn't have enormous amount of feelings already, let me tell you (I don't know whether it was subbed in second version of subs but it wasn't subbed in Gaga) that the last line of dialogue, last thing we hear anyone say anything in this show – is Myungha hugging Yeowoon and whispering "Cha Yeowoon, I love you".
Which is so heartwarming for one (Myungha has only said it once and Yeowoon didn't hear it and now he definitely did) or another reason (meta-subtext about Myungha finally confidently loving himself as well).
This show was amazing. So amazing I'll probably spend some time watching livestreams (and maybe I'll translate stuff if others didn't do it already) and checking their YT channel for more content, because I surely hope the authors and the team gets enough recognition that they film another brilliant BL series.
Please, go to love4lovesake yt channel and send them lots of love or post some love on Twitter (and on the Instagram, but I don't know the links, sorry). Like WE NEED MORE DEEP STORIES LIKE THIS
162 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
love for love’s sake carefully, and beautifully handled mental health. they didn’t sugar coat the depression myungha and yeowoon were experiencing.
a lot of times in bl we see characters going through hardships, but by the magic of love they’re better again or everything gets fixed. external love definitely plays a huge part in healing and being able to get through hard situations more swiftly, but it’s hardly ever the sole solution.
myungha getting a bf didn’t cure him, gaining friends didn’t cure him. he had two guys wrapped around his finger, his grandma was alive yet he still has low self worth. he’s someone that has been depressed for so long, has had deeply ingrained negative beliefs about himself that have kept him from ever being truly happy. he believes that nobody could ever love him, he can’t bother anybody with his problems because he’s a burden.
this is why depressed people isolate, they believe all of the things the depression is telling them and it is incredibly difficult to change that. it can take years to change the way you percieve yourself and the world, i think the buffs were the blockages in myungha’s perception. when yeowoon said “i love you” to him, there was an error message because deep in his soul he believes that as an impossibility. his buffs were because of his attempts to getting close to yeowoon, he saw it as a danger because getting close would mean that he would burden yeowoon.
myungha’s life was so so sad, poor guy was dealt such bad cards. his mom living happily without him as if he never existed served as proof of the negative things he’s been telling himself. realizing that you’re nothing to no one, that you’re hard to love or you’re too much is such a hard pill to swallow. it might not be objectively true, but if your mind believes it, then that’s all it takes to completely break your spirit. myungha kills himself because he sees no reason for his life, his mom abandoned him, his gf broke up with him, and his grandmother is dead. his reason for life is reliant on other people it isn’t an internal reason.
now when he’s in the game, he’s faced with the choice of who he loves more, yeowoon or his grandma. i think that they decide to make him choose between them because he can’t fathom receiving love from two people at once. it’s overwhelming, and terrifying for someone that has had limited quantities of love his whole life. his love for yeowoon is the truest love he’s ever felt besides his grandmother. yeowoon and myungha are equals, share a lot of similar life experiences, yeowoon opens up his heart and is ready to be there for him unconditionally. even when myungha refuses to share what he’s feeling, when he is actively breaking his heart, he is willing to change whatever it takes just to be around him. having someone show you that unconditional love is both incredible and so scary at the same time. that person is seeing you at your most vulnerable, at your worst and still choosing you.
myungha is used to self-abandonment, it’s all he knows. he felt like choosing yeowoon would mean choosing himself, and in turn would mean he is selfish and leaving is grandmother to die. if he chose his grandmother he would stick to his usual self, but yeowoon would possibly go back to how he was in the beginning and die. to him everything seems like a huge risk because he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. of course in the game that really was the consequence, choose one life over another. but i think this show really did a great job at showing just how impossible choices can be when you’re depressed, how warped your point of view gets. but i couldn’t help to think what would’ve happened if he had chosen himself, maybe that’s what he was supposed to do.
203 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Something about Myungha giving love so freely to Yeowoon, his own mirror image, and yet being unable to view himself as worthy of love.
Something about Myungha erasing himself from all their lives and Yeowoon still hearing the echoes of his voice because of the imprint we leave on the people we love.
Something about learning that part of loving someone is also receiving love from them and that second chances are worth fighting for.
Something about Love for Love’s Sake that is so raw and honest and also muddled and confusing because that’s what love is.
383 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Symptoms of a System Error: The Manifestation of Myungha's Depression in Love for Love's Sake
Ok I will almost certainly have more thoughts about this when I go back to rewatch Love for Love’s Sake in the next couple weeks, but I’ve been thinking about the finale for the last couple of hours and I want to get some stuff out of my head. Before I get too far in to this, I want to say that I think most of the ambiguity in the show is brilliantly executed in a way that allows people to take whatever meaning they want to from it without contradicting each other, without stepping on toes, and without having to twist or bend the narrative beyond all recognition to  make it make sense. 
So I want to talk about the use of depression in this show, because the way Myungha exists in the world is recognizable enough to me that these moments of choice, and the system errors were extremely legible. That doesn’t mean my take is the correct one (and I honestly don’t think there is one right answer here anyway) but it’s what I got out of it, so with the needless ramble complete, let’s get to it. 
Prologue
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
I connected rather quickly to Myungha as a character from right near the beginning of episode 1 because of how passionate he was about the character of Yeowoon and how much he hoped for a happy ending for that character. As someone who processes a lot of my feelings, and who understands myself better through media consumption, I was quick to appreciate the fact that Myungha recognizes the parts of himself that speak to Yeowoon and to know that because Yeowoon is fictional, he has a chance not to suffer with merely a stroke of a pen. The Author could have chosen from the beginning to give Yeowoon a happy ending, and did not because he believes that there are people for whom bad things will never stop happening. But from the perspective of a fictional story, the Author should consider who he is writing the story for. Myungha connects to Yeowoon, and it sends one hell of a tragic message for how Myungha’s life will end up if even in fiction the people who suffer have no hope of happiness. 
Myungha tells the Author that someone like Cha Yeowoon, someone like him [Myungha] with awful lives can still be happy. Looking back on that statement with the knowledge that Myungha kills himself, sends a very clear message, at least for me, of the hope that he was clinging to and finally lost his grip on. The Author asks if Myungha can change the outcome, and thus begins our story.
Debuffs
Now, I don’t know that I will have much more to say here than what @jemmo said in their very brilliant post, beyond the fact I agree with their interpretation of the debuffs. But I am thinking about the debuffs as it relates to mental health and to Myungha’s independence. One of Myungha’s first missions is to befriend Cha Yeowoon, and we see the difficulties associated with doing so when it comes to the Fondness Level meter and the debuffs that happen as a result. I love what Jess said about the dichotomy there: the debuffs mean that every time Myungha gets close to Yeowoon, something bad happens, Myungha uses that as a reason to stay away from Yeowoon to protect him when in fact, being around Myungha and increasing his fondness for him is the only way to really keep Yeowoon safe. 
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
And here again there is something recognizable to me in this dichotomy. Myungha likes Yeowoon, Myungha wants to be friends with Yeowoon, every time something bad might happen to Yeowoon, Myungha is there to intervene. But Myungha is convinced that the potentially negative events that might occur during a debuff are because of him, and so he avoids Yeowoon as much as he possibly can. To me this makes the debuffs a stand in for depression symptoms. Myungha has convinced himself that he is the cause of the bad moments in Yeowoon’s day. Myungha has convinced himself that Yeowoon would be better off if they weren’t friends, because he only makes things worse. And that is not something he can easily shake off, it’s not something he can logic his way out of, that’s the game, that’s just how it is. And so he withdraws until Yeowoon comes to him. 
And honestly thinking about it, nothing bad really happens during those debuffs. The light doesn’t shatter, the boys back off on the bus, Yeowoon doesn’t punch Sangwon. Maybe the reason why nothing at all happens is because Myungha intervenes. Maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there, the light would have broken, maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there Yeowoon would have punched Sangwon. But that is not a lens that Myungha is capable of viewing himself through, that is never an option that crosses Myungha’s mind because he is too focused on feeling like the cause of Yeowoon’s problems. 
System Errors
I know there is a lot of confusion or at least uncertainty around the system errors. Why are they happening? Where are they coming from? For me, I think the answer is Myungha himself. The first time we get a system error, it’s in Episode 6, what I think is the day after Yeowoon and Myungha have their first kiss and very soon after Yeowoon and Myungha kiss on the rooftop at school. The first error isn’t subtle, but it’s not explicitly stated. Myungha walks in to a room to take a phone call and walks in to the middle of band practice, falling through the world as he tries to remove himself from the situation until he (literally) runs in to Yeowoon. Myungha goes home that night and gets his first moments in the black abyss, and the first explicit mention via pop-up of a system error. I have not gone through (yet) to track every instance of what happens before a system error pop-up occurs from that point on, but I will say moment that was most legible for me in terms of indicating that these system errors were stemming from Myungha himself were when he gets the notification both times that Yeowoon looks directly at him and tells Myungha “I love you.” 
Tumblr media
gif by @dragonsareawesome123
That moment was a guy punch for me because I was not able to see it any other way except that Myungha is so incapable of believing that people could actually love him that someone telling him directly and sincerely that they love him cannot exist in his world. He literally cannot compute it, and thus an error occurs. Again from the perspective of depression, or trauma, or what have you, this is familiar to me. It is perhaps the most reflective part of Myungha to my own psyche. Neither of us know how to be loved. 
Myungha is called out on this repeatedly, he is nice to everyone, he does so much for everyone and refuses to ask for help himself. I’m the same way, I will bend over backwards as much as I can to help the people that I care about, but it is a rare occasion where I can ask for help myself. I’m not sure if this is the case for Myungha, but for me at least a lot of that stems from needing to make myself useful to people in some way so they keep me around. And so I end up feeling like a commodity to the people that I care about and help, and merely tolerated by anyone else that I do not help but that interacts with me any way. Myungha is called out consistently by multiple people, real or NPC about this similar habit. Myungha does not want to be a burden, Myungha only cares about other people’s happiness, Myungha is not happy himself and has maybe never been happy and so he pours everything he can in to lightening the load for others. 
He loves Yeowoon, but to be loved by Yeowoon is different. To experience any moments of joy cannot possibly be real. Maybe I am projecting too much on to the character, but it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha’s worldview would break down upon having someone state wholeheartedly that they want to be a support system for him. 
Cruel Choices
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
With the enmeshment of depression and video game mechanics in mind, I want to talk about the scene at the end of Episode 6. I love this scene so much for a number of reasons: 
It turns the game on a head for me as we slip further and further in to a nightmare scenario
It raises the stakes and attempts to get Myungha to make a hard choice 
It forces Myungha to think about what is important to him 
It’s ultimate purpose and who is posting the mission is ambiguous/uncertain 
I’m going to focus on number four. I think it is a perfectly valid read to see this and all video game mechanics as designed by The Author in an effort to help Myungha change Yeowoon’s story in which case this mission feels particularly vindictive and cruel. @lurkingshan posed the question in a conversation we were having about Love for Love’s Sake, where she wondered why the game could not hold two sources of love for Myungha at once. I love that question because it made me realize how differently this show can be read and how important who you choose to read as the entity in control of this game is for what this scene specifically means and I love so many interpretations of it, I love the interpretation that is was simply cruel, I love the interpretation that in retrospect this was the Author being angry at Myungha for dying, I love the reflection from @jemmo that said this felt like a choice between staying rooted in the past (sparing grandma) or choosing a future (sparing Yeowoon)
For me, I think I am leaning heavily in to the pop ups are under Myungha’s subconscious control, his mind, the missions he thinks are important, the problems he thinks he is causing are what is driving the base game. Because of this my base instinct is to lean in to the depression/anxiety/trauma tent where things have been going a little too well for him lately and he has convinced himself that he is due for something bad to happen. I am happy to once again acknowledge that this probably projection, but I know that my own mental illness(es) does not let my peace linger for long. Myungha is spending so much time with Yeowoon, Yeowoon who grounds him when his world is literally falling apart. Yeowoon who cannot contain his smile whenever he is around Myungha, Yeowoon who is downright desperate to bestow love and support upon Myungha, Yeowoon who has accompanied Myungha to the hospital late at night to be there for his boyfriend in a stressful time, and Myungha can’t have that. He loves his grandmother, he loves Yeowoon, they both love him and so obviously means that something bad is going to happen to them. 
Tumblr media
gif by @25shadesoffebruary
[As an aside I am thinking about what the Author said in the final episode about wanting Myungha to be able to see himself from the outside, and how I took that to mean Yeowoon is supposed to be a reflection of Myungha and a journey to self love, and how Yeowoon told Myungha that something bad always happens to the people around him in relation to this hospital scene]
Secondarily, I do think being confronted with this choice at all allows Myungha to have a moment of reflection, and is clarifying for him to know that both Yeowoon and his grandmother are important people in his life that he doesn’t want to lose. That’s fucking huge, in my opinion at least. And for all this mission was cruel, it was the first time Myungha refused to complete the mission. He was asked to save one, he decided to save both, and the game could have been cruel and taken his grandmother and Yeowoon away for refusing to choose, but it didn’t. They both got to live, and sure Myungha’s mission to make Yeowoon happy was shortened significantly, but I do think fifteen days was enough time to be successful in his mission if the depression and the grief had not gotten to Myungha instead. 
Grief 
Tumblr media
gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses
Something about grief that my therapist told me once was grieving people love helping others. And I think that is the case of Myungha here just based on the way he throws himself in to helping as many people as he can, especially Yeowoon. He knows Yeowoon is grieving, he knows Yeowoon is struggling, and he can distract himself from his own shit by helping Yeowoon instead. But once Myungha is confronted with the possibility that either one of the people that he loves could die, the penality for failing in his mission to make Yeowoon happy looms over his head like a knife. Just like Myungha considered himself the problem with the debuff, he knows how high of a likelihood it is that Yeowoon would regress, would isolate, would sink into a massive low. 
And it would be Myung’s fault (in his mind). 
Especially because Yeowoon keeps saying that even thinking about going on dates with Myungha is making him happy but Myungha’s mission isn’t complete. Myungha has started to get low, he is not as engaged in his relationship with Yeowoon, he’s convinced himself he is going to fail, and is thus setting himself up for failure because he decides 15 days is not enough time to find happiness, but it is enough time to break somebody’s heart in preparation for a devastating loss. And maybe, maybe Myungha would have snapped out of it with enough time to spare initially, but any hope of that being the case was shattered the second Yeowoon admitted that he wasn’t happy because Myungha wasn’t relying on him. 
Myungha is so used to be self-reliant there is no way for him to break out of that habit in just two weeks. Myungha knew his death would hurt Yeowoon, but the final nail in the coffin for him was learning that his life was hurting Yeowoon too. And he almost got there, he almost did it, he admitted that he didn’t know how to, but he withdrew at the last second. He has spent all this time, all this energy, all this focus in to changing Yeowoon, he does not have the space to do that for himself. 
The Choice 
Tumblr media
gif by @supanuts
The last moment I will really speak to as it relates to my interpretation of this game being controlled by Myungha as a manifestation of his depression is the author’s pen. Considering the fact The Author asked Myungha if he wanted to try again, I do not think if the Author was controlling this game world that he would have had Myungha disappear from it. Because according to the Gaga subs, the change that Myungha writes is that he wants Yeowoon to be happy, and immediately upon finishing that request, Myungha starts to fade. 
If we hold these game mechanics as manifestations of Myungha’s depression, which I do, it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha would fall back in to the pattern of believing that Yeowoon would be happier if Myungha wasn’t there. Yeowoon has a modeling deal now, he has some modicum of fame, he has friends now, he has supports in place that he did not have before, so what need does Yeowoon have of him, when his inability to let people love him is what is now causing Yeowoon to feel sad. 
And I think that massive server error at the end where the world is burning and the universe is melting in to the game is a result of Myungha realizing too little, too late that this isn’t what he wanted. But it can’t be undone. The line he says when he is sinking in to the water about how at the last minute before he died, he regretted it. The game, the drowning here are one in the same to me. 
And for me there was just something so beautiful and hopeful from Myungha telling The Author that he wants to try again. We started the show with Myungha telling The Author miserable people can be happy, and we end the show with Myungha and Yeowoon finally getting the happy ending they never thought they would have. 
Tumblr media
gif by @junghaesin
God I loved this show.
399 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
love for love’s sake really said, “get in loser, we’re gonna make the unloved side character HAPPY” and they have all my respect for that
390 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
You know what things in Love for Love's Sake finale make me go crazy?
The fact that Myungha worked three part-time jobs to earn 300k won and he bought back Yewoon's trophies and medals (that his abusive father sold to get more drinks). Myungha thought it would help him reach his goal and make Yeowoon happy, but he didn't ask Yeowoon if that's what he wanted! Which led to Yewoon rejecting his effort and leaving him in tears because he wanted Myungha with him, equal and loving, not working and being unreachable as a parental figure. Talk about completing the side missions but failing the main quest.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The fact that Yeowoon passed by the ice cream store, not buying their meaningful ice cream because Myungha wasn't around.
But when Myungha disappeared, he kept bulk buying and eating rice with curry because that's the dish that Myungha used to make him, even if Yeowoon barely rembered it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And what about THIS heartbreaking parallel? One trip to the sea to end your life, and the second one is to start a new and happy life.
(and those bubbles in dark water! I thought at first Myungha and Sunbae were discussing phylosophical and life questions in front of an aquarium or just a funky screensaver but no, it's never that simple with this show!)
(i am not going to bring up the parallel between Myungha going to see his mother twice because it recontextualizes everything even more and it'll be too sad)
Tumblr media
TALKING ABOUT MORE PARALLELS, Yeowoon happily responding that he's running to find his "blorbo" perfectly circled back to the beginning of the story, of the game. Again, I'm insane about how good and solid writing of this story is.
Let's end on a happy note:
Tumblr media
Yeowoon finally untensed his lips :D :D :D
(just kidding but their smiles during kissing are killing me)
393 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
love for love's sake really said 'loving others is not enough. you have to love yourself too' and 'you have to live for yourself as well' and relying on others makes them happy' and 'youre not a burden' and--
455 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 10 months ago
Text
Don't forget Love For Love's Sake nearly had all the romance content cut from it, the director had to fight to keep it from becoming a bromance show.
They spent ONE YEAR searching for Cha Yeonwoon's actor, that's almost unheard of in any sort of media, least of all in the BL genre, development blocks tend to kill any show/film chances of getting made. That dedication got us Cha Joowan.
Taevin went for it, he was looking for a BL role after having his queer storyline scrapped in The Penthouse, so he made a mission to get the role of Tae Myungha.
Love For Love's Sake really is that show.
1K notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 2 years ago
Text
This show was presented and generally is light hearted but dam the way they write their chacters is so deeply thought about.
Boss and a babe is insane like I feel like I'm in Cher's shoes rn bc Thoop what the fuck!!!! But I also knows he's greving and he's younger and alone (where are his parents???) And he's clearly hanging around the wrong type of people and his walls are thicker than Cher's...its frustrating I literally feel how Cher felt talking to Tein after that conversation.
From what it looks like it has been a while since her passing, considering they were in highschool and he's finishing University, it's has to have been a least 2 to 3 years? I saw someone say that Thoop doesn't believe Cher loves him like a brother just cuz; he thinks it's because of Tian, so eh says
"You said you loved her" and so will stop caring and loving for Tian bc he "doesn't love Tian" anymore (news flash: not how it works)
Thoop is naive and hurt, but also my guy, you seriously can't expect him not to move on. Also, my first thought was: Hey, if this goes well, Tian will at least be the last girl he loves 🤷🏽‍♀️
Let's hope he's alive to come to that relization next ep bc uh what is this job my guy 😵‍💫
17 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 2 years ago
Text
Cher: do you really want to hear me ramble about random nonsense boss?
Gun, who started falling in love with this niche internet nano celebrity after tuning into his ASMR channel and has been calling him every night to hear him ramble about random nonsense for weeks: ...yes.
96 notes · View notes
queer-full-of-fear-18 · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
*some kind of emo band song playing over some shitty bluetooth speakers in the background while this plays out*
Jebus christ thup chill son C H I L L
19 notes · View notes