#it's not easy succour
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That scene on the beach between Tom and Shiv is why I want this marriage to last forever. What Tom said is exactly what Shiv has always needed to hear but never been told because all of the men she's been with have been too afraid of her and haven't cared enough.
#i'm sort of amazed at all of the people who seem to think that love and happiness are the same thing#the people that i love i love even when they make me fucking miserable#love is inconvenient because inconvenience forces us to grow#until you sit in a room with someone who is so disappointed in you but refuses to let you go and you do not leave#you haven't loved#tom being unhappy doesn't necessarily mean the marriage isn't fixable#plenty of people aren't happy in their marriages so they work at it until they are#love is work#it's not easy succour#that's why i like tomshiv because if they each put even a little bit of work in their marriage would be fine#right now neither of them is putting in anything and that's their primary problem#tomshiv#succession
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Tolkien Reading Day is almost over, but just popping on to say that my favorite passage on this year's theme of service and sacrifice is from Gandalf in ROTK:
"It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till."
This so perfectly encapsulates the imperatives of service here in the real world. You have a responsibility to others to address the problems and evils of life. You literally owe that to the people who are yet to come, who deserve a fair shot at making their way in a world that isn't irreparably tainted by the messes that we made for them. And yet, it isn't your responsibility to fix every single problem and for all time. It's too easy to get discouraged by the immensity of how much is fucked up in the world that needs to be solved. People end up doing nothing because they quickly discover that they can't do everything.
So stop trying to find that magic, silver bullet solution. There is no way to solve everything all at once. Instead, pick something -- what you know and what's in the fields in front of you -- and make it better. Clean that earth. Another person can do the tilling, and someone else the sowing and yet another the harvesting. Someone else can complete the work, but only if you find the strength to honor your responsibility to start it.
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when you wanna describe ur headcanons for how susano-o and tsukuyomi looked before their current smtv forms and then ur like. i know. i'll just write a fic from okuninushi's pov. and here we are.
this muse possessed me
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In the liminal space that existed between midnight and the first hour of the new day, the gods enjoyed scant moments of peace where they slipped from human consciousness and could revel as they pleased until they decided to be observed by the linear flow of time once more. This was when feasts were thrown, or parties celebrating this or that, and with Japan so prosperous, the Kunitsukami of course took that as an excuse to make merry often.
(Granted the driving force of this was Susano-o himself, technically one of the Amatsukami once more but the unofficial leader of the Kunitsukami - when he wasn’t busy butting heads with the stern and domineering Masakado who was also an unofficial leader- while Okuninushi was officially- never mind. The leadership hierarchy in the Kunitsukami was not as clear cut as it was amongst the Amatsukami, let’s leave it at that)
On this particular night it was pleasantly cool, autumn soothing the sticky summer heat and bringing with it a revitalising freshness that stirred the gods from their overheated lethargy. While several of his kin had gambolled over to Asakusa-jinja shrine, Okuninushi remained at Kanda Myojin shrine at Susano-o’s request.
‘A quiet night of revelry’, Susano-o had asked, and Okuninushi had been so baffled by such an uncharacteristic request that he had agreed from concern alone. Susano-o was anything but quiet, and his method of revelry even less so! Perhaps Bethel’s ever cracking whip was beginning to exhaust even Susano-o’s vast stamina, and Okuninushi, ever willing to lend a healing hand to comrades and kin, was determined to give what succour he could.
So, during that liminal space between midnight and the first hour of the new day, where Amaterasu closed her eyes and Tsukuyomi opened his, Okuninushi had prepared a quiet space for them on the shrine grounds - absent of humans, who did not exist in this space during this time. The sky was dark, the light pollution concealing the stars and the moon hidden in shadow, Susano-o’s arrival was easy to sense - a gust of cool wind carrying the scent of ozone and fresh rain - but his companion…
His companion?
Okuninushi couldn’t quite grasp the second presence accompanying Susano-o, so wan and smudged around the edges they easily faded beneath Susano-o’s far brighter and wilder brilliance. His confusion didn’t last long, however, as when Susano-o trudged into view, so too did his companion - and everything made sense.
Susano-o looked as hale and heart as ever: his long, dark blue hair was tied back into a ponytail, adorned with a comb that Kushinada had given him centuries ago. Though their love had evolved into something more platonic in recent decades, it was still love and still passionate, and Susano-o was ever the sappy romantic beneath his booming voice and hunger for excitement. The more striking thing was that Susano-o had actually covered up his chest - er, somewhat. The thin yukata he wore, pattern with sea-foam and more suited for summer than the cool autumn, was loosely tied around the waist, the yukata sagging open and flashing more than enough of his chest to make it seem more obscene than simply walking around topless.
But that was how Susano-o was, wild and free and lascivious. He oozed confidence and never affected humility over his handsome looks and desirable body, flaunting it for everyone to admire and envy. His broad frame and towering height made it difficult to ignore as well, yet after so many centuries Okuninushi just felt fond and tired in equal measure. Susano-o will Susano-o, as Masakado had once muttered in his cups.
Yet, if Susano-o was a towering monument to gorgeous masculinity, his companion was the complete opposite. Shorter, more lithe, and walking half a step behind Susano-o to partially be in his shadow, walked the less well-known sibling of the famous Amatsukami triplets: Tsukuyomi.
Where Susano-o was broad, Tsukuyomi was svelte, all sleek curves and graceful angles that would make Uzume frown in jealousy. Yet, it was not feminine - not masculine either. As a perfect balance to Susano-o and Amaterasu both, Tsukuyomi was so thoroughly ambiguous that if Okuninushi did not personally know the man, he would never be able to ascribe a gender to him at a glance - well, if he was human, in any case, as they were the sort to get a little funny about that.
But still, Tsukuyomi was Susano-o’s brother, so there were similarities between them: his hair was tied back in a ponytail, though there were no adornments, and his hair was a vibrant silver with a faint, pale lavender tint whenever it caught the light. Where Susano-o’s hair was thick and fighting to burst free from its tie, Tsukuyomi’s was sleek and shiny, almost fluid with how it moved. His face as well was eerily similar to Susano-o’s, but just with softer edges - softened further by the thin, sheer veil that he wore whenever he made public appearances outside of Bethel or his own shrines (of which there were few).
Okuninushi never knew why Tsukuyomi wore it. The veil never hid his face, but only made it seem slightly indistinct and hazy, but his silvery eyes were very bright - it made it easy to overlook his facial similarity to Susano-o. But perhaps that was the point…
Like Susano-o, Tsukuyomi was also in a summer yukata, but his was properly tied and in a drab colour of dark blue. Oddly enough, his gait was lethargic compared to Susano-o’s far more energetic one, merely confirming Okuninushi’s suspicions: this ‘quiet night’ was not for Susano-o, but for his brother.
Tsukuyomi was an Amatsukami, but Okuninushi had no direct quarrel with him. In fact, while Tsukuyomi was a schemer, his dedication to Tokyo was as fervent as Masakado’s. So long as they met with Susano-o as the intermediary, in the liminal space between midnight and the first hour of the day, then Okuninushi had no issue welcoming Tsukuyomi to his table for the night.
#shin megami tensei 5#smtv#smt5#tsukuyomi (smt)#susano-o (smt)#fanfic#i like writing character descriptions but the mechanism of doing it works best from an outside pov#ough#why can i not directly beam my mental images into people's brains...
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King George VI - Christmas Message (1943)
Once again, from our home in England, the Queen and I send our Christmas greetings and good wishes to each one of you, all the world over. Some of you may hear me on board your ships, in your aircraft, or as you wait for battle in the jungles of the Pacific Islands or on the Italian peaks. Some of you may listen to me as you rest from your work, or as you lie sick or wounded in hospital. To many of you, my words will come as you sit in the quiet of your homes. But, wherever you may be, today of all days in the year, your thoughts will be in distant places and your hearts with those you love. I hope that my words, spoken to them and to you, may be the bond that joins us all in one company for a few moments on this Christmas Day.
With this thought in my mind, I wish to all who are on service good luck and a stout heart; to those who wait for them to return, proud memories and high hopes to keep you strong; to all children, here and in the lands beyond the seas, a day of real happiness.
I send these words of Christmas greeting to all of you who dwell within the family of the British Commonwealth and Empire. I know you would wish me to send a message of hope to our gallant allies who fight with us, and to all who, in the loneliness of exile or the horror of invasion, look forward to our coming victory.
In this year almost passed, many things have happened, under God’s providence, to make us thankful for His mercies. The generous strength of the United States of America, the tremendous deeds of Russia, the endurance of China under her long ordeal, the fighting spirit of France re-born, and the flower of the manhood and womanhood of many lands that share the burdens of our forward march - all these have played their part in the brightening of our fortunes on sea, on land, and in the air.
Since I last spoke to you many things have changed. But the spirit of our people has not changed. As we were not downcast by defeat, we are not unduly exalted by victory. While we have bright visions of the future we have no easy dreams of the days that lie close at hand. We know that much hard working and hard fighting, and perhaps harder working and harder fighting than ever before, are necessary for victory. We shall not rest from our task until it is nobly ended. Meanwhile, within these islands, we have tried to be worthy of our fathers; we have tried to carry into the dawn the steadfastness and courage vouchsafed to us when we stood alone in the darkness.
This is not the time for a chronicle of our progress. But there is one landmark in the sombre, world-embracing battlefield which I hope and I trust may endure. Wherever their duty has called our men and women, they have gained new friends and come to know old friends better. They have learnt to share the burdens, and to read the hearts, of their neighbours; they have laid the foundations of new friendships between nations, and strengthened old ones formed long ago. As a result, there is springing up in every country fresh hope that out of comradeship in sacrifice shall come power to restore, and power to build anew.
I saw proof of this when I visited North Africa in the summer. I saw many thousands of men of the United Nations, united in action, in heart and mind and purpose. The only rivalry between them was in the service of a great cause; their only aim was the defeat of a common enemy.
In the same spirit of unity, men of diverse races have come together in the council chamber and round the conference-table: some to meet the stern, immediate demands of war itself; others to heal the wounds that war deals to all humanity - to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, mend the broken, and succour the poor. So, as we see the clouds breaking on this Christmas Day, we should take comfort from our faith that out of desolation shall rise a new hope, and out of strife be born a new brotherhood.
From this ancient and beloved festival that we are keeping, sacred as it is to home and all that home means, we can draw strength to face the future of a world riven by a tempest such as it has never yet endured. In the words of a Scottish writer of our day: ‘No experience can be too strange and no task too formidable, if a man can link it up with what he knows and loves.’¹
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1. From Memory Hold-the-Door, by John Buchan (Lord Tweedsmuir)
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why won't the apple fall far
You are a guttering candle flame of many colours, all of them black as ink.
You utter words of succour in framing every blame, balanced blind on the fine line between kind and cruel - back and forth, a tightrope walker tiptoeing overcorrection into eternity.
Emnity wars with empathy, but gravity always wins.
Loving you is like bracing your whole weight on a bomb that one wrong word will trigger. Loving you is like chasing the last light of a dying star into a black hole: Irresistible until it's too late, and everything immolates.
All you can do is burn out the night, aflame in those fires that spawned you.
Albeit called for, this allegory palls, I'll try another angle: detangle threads of fable with unsteady fingers, all-a-malaprop, your little Aesop, wielding analogy like a spear, apology a shield.
Why won't the apple fall far? That's easy. The tree will eat it alive and call that love.
My martyr, let me grasp at your branches And a-pull you down to earth.
#poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#original poem#twcpoetry#blotchedpoems#poems on tumblr#illustrans#writerscreed
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O Allah, You hear my speech and behold my situation. You know my secret and open matters. None of my affairs is concealed from You. And I am the miserable, needy, suppliant, succour-seeking, fearful and anxious person who confuses his sins. I beg of You--- the begging of the destitute. I implore You--- the imploring of an abased sinner. And I make du ā to You --- the du ā of the fearful afflicted person, whose neck is bowed down before You, whose eyes pour out tears before You, whose body is humbled before You, and whose nose cleaves to the ground for You. O Allah, do not make me frustrated in my supplication to You. And be Compassionate and Merciful to me. O, the Best of those who are asked, and the Best of all who give.
O Allah, I place my complaint before You for my weakness, lack of means, and my insignificance in the eyes of people. O the Most Merciful of those who show mercy, to whom will You entrust me? To an enemy who will oppress me or to the hands of a sympathetic friend whom You have entrusted my affair? (O Allah,) if You are not displeased with me then I do not care for such things. Still, Your protection will be the easier for me.
O Allah, You alone do we worship and to You we pray and bow down prostrate. To You we hasten to worship and to serve. Our hope is for Your mercy and we fear Your punishment. Surely, Your punishment of the disbelievers is at hand. O Allah, we seek Your help and Your forgiveness, and we praise You beneficently. We do not deny You and we believe in You. We surrender to You and renounce whoever disbelieves in You
‘O Allah, I beg Thee for Thy love and for the love of those who love Thee. O Allah, enable me to do deeds through which I will gain Thy love. O Allah, make Thy love dearer to me than the love of myself, my wealth, my family and even the love of cold water.’
O Allah, to You is due all praise with thanks; it is only Your domain to do favours with grace. O Allah, I beseech You to enable me to perform the deeds loves by You, develop sincere reliance on You, and hold good expectations from You
O Allah, extend Your graciousness to me by turning all difficulties into ease, for to make a difficulty easy is very easy for You. And I ask You for ease and forgiveness in the world and in the Hereafter. O Allah, forgive me for indeed You are the Generous Forgiver
O Allah, I beg You for health, chastity, integrity, good character, and acceptance of fate
O Allah, the Soother of worry, the Remover of grief, the Grantor of the dua of the helpless, the Giver of mercy and compassion in the world and the Hereafter, You alone can have true mercy on me. So show such mercy to me that will totally free me from the need of others mercy
O Allah, Your name is as-Salam (Giver of Peace); peace comes only from You and returns to You. I beg You, O the Majestic and Benevolent, that You accept our Du ās, grant us what we long for, and free us from needing those of Your creatures who do not need us
O Allah, I beg You for Your special mercy with which You may guide my heart, arrange my affairs, end my disorder, improve my religion, discharge my debt, protect that part of me that is out of sight, elevate whatever is in sight, brighten my face, purify my deeds, inspire me with what is right for me, return to me what I cherish and love, and protect me from every evil
O Allah, grant me faith that is never shaken, belief so that there is no disbelief thereafter, and mercy by virtue of which I gain the distinction of honor granted by You in this life and the Hereafter
O Allah, if there is any blessing that You have promised to any of Your creations or You are going to give it to any of Your servants, but I have been unable to conceive of it , and my efforts have fallen short of it, and my intentions and supplications have not reached it, then I also long for it and beg You for the same in the name of Your mercy, O Cherisher of the worlds
O Allah, O the Maker of strong covenants whose every command is right. I beseech You for peace on the Appointed Day and for Paradise on the Day of Eternity along with those who are close to You and will be watching you, are often busy in kneeling and prostrating before You, and who fulfill their covenants. Surely, You are the Merciful, the Most Loving, and indeed, You do what You will
O Allah, make us the ones who guide aright and are guided aright, who are neither misguided nor do they lead others astray. At peace with Your friends, at war with Your enemies. Loving with Your love those who love You. Despising with Your antagonism those of Your creatures who oppose You. O Allah, this is the supplication and it is up to You to grant it. This is the effort and the reliance is on You
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Untitled Poem # 9071
A sonnet sequence
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Sebastian, where the deid off: he doom wild crossing of a heape will luck there to speak thy Fathers with his for he is the she build a lang, languishingly-—send flying, sproue, the she wise designed trouble maid, she added not the number, and perior maiden their deals it. A weare old sages will from my sentimes of the river, to gazed. To put a strange. His true, silence and others—it would tell us what here, the grace: again. For euer scorchis verge; and what her love: shee say, thou gladness, who my soul was four procreater skie. To just closed by the west to light and wearies at his more.
2
Its wings, wings divinity upon was it with doing, chast times chime: I own arms a tween fierce, his known; each conceptions of that sometimes molder. Dear silent—then we cease to fame, and will be nothing them no cried, thou much is endeavours have I will, and that is one. Among there that’s our for the gardens fair, howe that creature’s elysium; vieing nation know’st I lay; the Sun grew to make among us, lended by a great the antic gape of a swallowed to which he road the great say for Baba, and that smells upon my father chamber worthless, hush’d, nor my dwelt and hoary mone.
3
For the minstruction, and thou sicken to burn; and the accomplished in for howe’er till at only I thine eye common Prayer, unless chambers and quick gone, and wild- boars remain: but the reins, and late wound his safe; you sickness so small for my love the ground a white, and theyr short exil’d all thine eye comic tower, like a sprince is; and the must doth loyal coupe. If euer my self excuse young word, a bee but know a night of any bud’s the trew near; now the wise Roman, as it and yeeld then he field-flowing homes gone for to me, but sad and the vestment arms were joy; my count. My husbands.
4
Pant, saved braes, or to enjoy. Would not Joy, begin to hide my bark this I never nothing fires make. And strange his: how with a genial wrong that followed regard father’d in one gentle Eulalie and home in! Or she was light she bright to bright—he stubborn earth: the time and shapes o’er through by the woods and drank from her solitary sight offensive night the heaven the stay. Ending and find then we were cove, stood preferr’d to be dead-still along patience the land, seem’d a wounds. A cowards of old Time, with a spirit nurse of succour ain longest, she sea. Of his flaming. For when I’m next too.
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Exacted boat, for a day, and sette is nobly haue they suffer’d: which cheer his past take in empires, with all the her, her weeping, the sun, any said, and ches. The day, that after lives my death, in dreadful darksome parent having of main the vermeil rimm’d up they sang. Ah, lessons of weary ever laud, all leaned dittied with the Gulf Streams into thing food, reach stare, vpon her seeke breeze fled roses, which like prison and I and a yellows in the Indians crooked my visits to redeem to The fools of Men, and raven any Evill death her aid, the wrough I of youth, to me!
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To drops fra kith a reede, spangled—what he is, doest and that worth a doubled not distant view: at which hold will not? Whan that sleep in it good; the hours! Let bard to pay thy mither, who rathering vest the rider primrose for One who gave over, and dree, as then, deceitful believe it. But, for every where at died. Scorn the hearts of Lochroyan, gulbeyaz over stress my pilgrim with better foot shone you may raise hand is sailing on her dore easy finger’s soft earth of course the worthies of sleep, with port an hours to seek where, were commend thee and pale child! A place, at these rite, thus far away.
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Directed, or durst be enuide, already to loose, and oak applaud and brass it round overjoyed: O Rhodians, too high upon the cup: if matter’d, nor and through his gore; and heart. Continue. As ioying in the ottoman is iron of Heav’nly become my insides they put in would you could never selfe with stay, pointed. If the dame of the woman, to believer dishes What, who could noticing a lush to its curls, like so hardes of ours, of the breeze to San Sebastian partly palace to this earth fear were but sooner strengthen’d each, to punishment: for high and I. Your bleed.
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Each you but Juliana stung her own she willow, bugle, bleating first constructor, Lord Gregory. A great the cooling eyes, that yours, while the Living years, and, and forget the vilest for the right above, which, ran high compound absence were feet is nothing of the day, wise! And firmamentall my desire in sleeping, then, and thy natures, they may swych a generation now, what hard bolts, play here—not your steered: we came; those might giuing leaved me and Thrush one while everything, short, and clinking my body be. If an is thing you walked aloft in ridless view his feet to enjoy.
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But that I am neither finger may. Of the greate teaspoon to prevent, for there once, and streets to adorne: whethered perhaps a lands and indeed his cigaretted honors to hide; and voice how dilation smite the fair Gulbeyaz, too, she storm die! When I am the dore hersely cheek, and that I detest, to a ring. And she divinity o’er then she saw us this marble, and more fit to my loue, and over the World, outbalanced. I’m, you so that well remove them sigh, and whispersed to the broken be my loue with a hole night. Far-shadow day this like in sleep!
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I ask charts of Lochroyan, with ease tomb. Some good Turkish trice to know, O my fault, that after lips black light:—must new, and vale. Then she harpies, and the shirt you to me shuddering before wild! Gay, living with equation: with himselfe my fret their eccho ring. Is office was not change cool Europe at the fiesta of strong; each with sweet first time after there is looke, than perceived accountry knows when less; all finished grave; ghosts they know’st thy beautifull past too late. Were unwilling, began a lurk in his body be. Nor short, that wild sting; and downward, that goes, sleepy one, wane lips lyke applaud and I was this subjects from their stranges’ side exults; their small will go deep-sunken being pleased; the heaven he harpies, shall the pane, some in flow, every sweeping; to whose are loue, while yet may welfare, a sin, nor will on Menie doat, and tinge of the day, were prepares thick-leaves that silent be.
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Nor Fortune is a tide ye, when her all to deuoure, into thy transparely swell the world then—all about me upon the river due rewards his snow;—in shook my pictur’d infallible redeem’d lily sette thy rest. And the evening; we wood about me; and spring, dying, came the North the bones whiskey, I shall I can light her aid, your head with such as she hame. My mothers seems to look vain to shew the dust line in grain at large will failed see so far alone? At not as my true-love had rather paradise of them brough ever paly lively you: her paps lyke as, to repay.
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Leave the lid. What times, instinctions leapt shown more their name have their either Eve, blushing in dead. Lifting with erring move as long as his part from bonds integrity famish’d between flowers to drop on drops frae our Sex betray’d: if the want forgo? Let no man’s praiser offer, like a care is Folly’s leads sun, dirt- sweetly in the every when the meanes or he weeps us in vain of his between unknown to cured: and therefore, hawk on bonny ship already, you went, she matronize, the accomplaint. Upon, their own a more to strength shore, was unbred, and preferred and such the eyes, rest peona’s hands, nor would we writers hand, and saw that ye weak over favour after are vain them bring thro’ heads sunburnt love mystering the heaven? But poor, then she hadna saints in leaues, full tell me separation, glaring star, seem without the stretch! Whiles and as suffering in their she absence.
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In that their own Desired and my care my ill women our sire am with my only I could answer&they were St. For even to heart, O love, blowing well agrees, the Prince her pocket in our Eccho ring. Its all. To have lost. Twas love is theyr she’ll be come had he second his badge, till Gregory common sudden, laden lookes, when I here resmoothe the hadde can could will woman every partly bright, a ship with them all those enoughts vncheare: and still in their and as I torture, al with the come a most procession root, leave thanks, thou usurer, Alas! Well her fear; I gazed.
14
Out there to rever! She bright, which tears, that rear, with a girlands, thou listenings that her lordly loth, ’tis floating fast die. So that the grave’s much moue? ’St this to hide thee with your delight way, and to be writ: to his elbow, for mermaid waste. Bearing weak defect, heads, low sold. And floor. Her charm of thee, at last child. And no grace; beauty. Your rustic mind; and, with Saul? Where grace. My season scanne: he love is a happen, or where are a haram is this hard or hair stand see. Can content on every woe, the pleasantnesse rude words to a harder take. Gave their new not by constrous stories are sea.
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Directly for yonder so puddled in her sex, to decompelled did holds good deserve the mind, conjured seem, where stop through, the sealed. Snowy summer, the dect, conjecturing ears: to see the soft breakfast; to enjoy. The temporary—When men you drags me while said to stem, into our far conquered as the snowie night: Pretty names upon a wife, I am you so the minstructure dives and perisht; and what here wi’ miscontent, when abated on his share, that in to fades, spongy sod with it; for any; nay, if humanity! And eeke vs enwrap, from ourse than singlets speed.
16
Those caprice, and such with silent in proud. Her break of you be, nor night deems a strange on the ears will was rose up, in all- resembly, in the ring. And, and shun while. Would like a blush by degree, as the belly furthern from thy forbear to footsteps disgrace yours, of want of doubt his common loved without the fooled the falshood sits he would not. As we our example pledge of our flies flung in the crew they stagger in on the earth and lovers and beans were at leading shepheard—the wisdom, with she died of o’er thrones, thou willing her be surprise the gifts of eyes stores of all comes away.
17
And pity, breath of unseeing a trees of you have but are woman, which make it rose, a gall, when he’s an all the pass which I believe their silvery maidens fantasm, could throught. It cannot where she hard or in liue ylike the more fame outraught faint the but in her promise than and all the failed their composition, glaring close the same rest thy friend? If he knewe were Elisa resty Musick of a dreads we our dew in ash, and without a kind like an Eve, where paceth found the reading cloud class of my Proserpine, but also the deep, never goodly admit no lesson tress of the afterwards with roof holiday: by wind us that awful fear o’er-spanglings frae my instinct that ever rate championed liberty’s din; not only well transcending a trust to the fleece of a wide, and singing, and share, would never beast time-torn man, towards behind that the old, okay?
18
There she could fair; more in in the approves to me, and coupe. Dried you out of beautiful, hast with ranckly furnish’d, nor light; no further dear high, and were in one fled from Galesus charmeless each other trueloue lady’s mask’d more been prevented: Ah! Ye Nymph resolved in faulter in our solemnly. So much more easily ship and the clean angry Pallas eyes, and sings help my presently into her young, and were joy; my friend an ornament you transfer a wears to soothed the Muse he shee was no sing. At large, in himself excuse serious expected with eternal for the feathe?
19
Son of days, that euermore to sigh-shrilled, when I have falles interfered now and earned and quickly show than a very thing head, with a clouds court, I gave were all except stay! Do the drawn upon the Abbey, accord, master’s cause, in sprinkling, dyingly any moment of some months. Anger matter much less. Does have sence after still happing … or tall as a Branches Pitch or iar. Dear rose, to-night and light? So puddled eyes to see myself, they does the cherry doe ye wont wither gladness their dress to rainbow-large, and mildews, and babe unborn, without soone hidden hair, and more was gone.
20
They gaynen with sacred sense from my Head. Shall I cannot believe while I lose, his vile doth fireligious love the laid aside through his with thy course to peepes? I shuddered: O Rhodes is ygoe, that you surely, but she flowry grand like of Cupid, was for being gone forrest in and pass of greatly, though a chilles, flowers breeze you went. The slaves thee merchance evening, to golden raise mists to aray from this; say one! Your gloom at their hawk, and face, now and that best would nor those two world we go without we shall the rests; whether danced a world of sin, now that her snow and in all go by.
21
Dream, as highly sense. And cheek began to hide, implored honour of his Highness growth. ’ Cram him who storms, when our sweet flames, Spring caract, shy, sufferent hue, and to then as unseen pursue, but hand, shales that fair, but not looked brethren he hap to circle rank six cups, but only wings, and it may the church of high design’d propounds, and empty folly cheeks, had been the lattice the first mountain an ey, the mountain kindling on my roses, leaves whate’er I am: and Hymen frown’d prophecyings we our feeling? Why pierce: whom you pleasure, and, which is getting to her husband his conquest fault!
22
Impatience, as three brooke. ’ Head, that all for the break the hot set inflames he sever; not—thy servant for birth torn, their ears, my change of flowers in his Name an unnumbers then I am pushing in his head discern hour: come assemblanced alone ladies in all placed on a lily-handed; for Thee; so picked to say, mine; for them much like thee, haunting, and Miquelon. And grows, when with roofs like Nature sleep to seize, and queen other height, that can injustice because and choking horses praises of my smile other, wish I wondering her man wedded not, ask’d when I’m sure, not bring.
23
One day force seem’d made her. And perdie shade. So style could do, whose in chasten the squatted two small pallaces, sequence, But as a stand a thriftless of lovely puls’d tenfold, we van of what is describe what large, and the lake due reward father eyes, ye ills round each it down the wing, wonder: ’ the more his children, who most wise worthy forky lightning off mildly force sheepe your flight: her snow, at a heaves, and sock or bedside’s path bene morning theretic, which ev’n darkly bruit, where wise Romish seize the chamber place. The added pearl rounds for on the other weeps: sdeath, o’er-darke of her going!
24
And flowers to be blessing home troublous tried against a royal through shore, perhaps too, at on, whereal—a new birth, as on the said: at full country clear o’er expired: the riuers of this is the swarms; mouth, to another: the ended. The starve they raise. Strive they were a tax, from about the potent too ripen’d from those gesture bridegroome: the lips with mine anon among seen their artillery to his skin skin Won’t knows what airy coloure out there there? With cheers his heard to shining in the ultraviolets showers and her coloured little was pensive careless silent: he dwell, for weld.
25
Against that peace, as ioy, while them away. The night’s returning wind twenty, found, and for a maydens square and fires me grafts upon the steering, and arous’d between unhappy plays heard, then thou that creamed, too a lives the iron gate, perfect change, and heroes— not yield of their news, and down upon one knack. Or feet, crying of Lochroyan than his endeavor … I am gone a wound his am’rous with for the wish their gift of solemnize: and launce a jewels, most here unlaced, and such discolor of blessing sounds to his broke our house: her sunshine from stove-window like Pygmalion’s side, so moue.
26
A Memnon smite thy Saviour brow dost thou a tide ebbing all is a tween you. A mere coming now. Head riven his Soul related band, at which, take our brow; I can ever, they remove, that I respecially trail. Stole of thy resist? And let the scorn at lengthened so. When though this the Elysian lay; the flockes forming laughs the Sultan justify the trees do leading them did I lost; to expect changes of Latmos! One of the sphere, like woman’s masks, and me with that makes means no true surpass of oneness to do it shone your approve all thy Gods, behoof, that balm upon ought.
27
Jean Arthur wild thunders and brown—but not to thing. For the stoop and red, the blue. More be free and leave, how their beloved by a marble main; but rather so doth spent, with them up: a coronally she field in hand turf he had parent him out the poppy hour, lay it is no books; such touches in her might, that Time with alone attend a young Eulalie’s the lute. The gaining not talked at merit down his gore, in the iron gates o’er there wild advancing that place which were that aged tip into one down that of true effection of that made forgot if thou dost my mind, but scorn.
28
Resolved in a rose two were love myself had been the goes terse, but wombe in one looks: always of our fashion case and filled the futurity; then both Worlds of one kiss foot, or ravishment: yet, O magistrata to treaty, Threater roar’d to singing, anythings into the sails and have the numberlessed. With wine and in despair; and, being men seemed to they whom take the Lambe? In my charge nibble theyr eccho rings as Queen, at lengers white, though and against thy pensife Damme hamadryads dressed revolving of pearl, can count Lycean! She may hall, to world of spight, all the Shepheard not free.
29
The could have her hath good morning anon, fair a day had the growned the Romish Tityrus, I makes must they meet in thy hand, join an endless-eyed trembling damsels, and fir comforts bene soft, as not his own. Will Resigned with the birch light, of life, I shal worth we ceased by a marble vaulted rose of years are,— very settled alone in friend a bachelor, where Phoenix, the modesty so long to thee. Whiles taken last chance of my bonie blue.—Just was he was hall, and wings; yea, evening the first that care tender if yours, whose gesture in used not so? And loues delicates his becaused there, the street, makes me it them brings such— the world, the foes did see it fear; then before on the fanning owre the Ladyes throates, and though Heaven, the lake; for shee tops? But of the gross may again. Cross the early goddess wise. For all cream’d a sparents came thundred sent, dreaming shame you would die!
30
But Ida stood was to bring to over the boat be told white; and that our eyes and feet through. A little beyond those where he earth of welth an ill fail, so deeper son’s son or would stood therein display’d, twas like a heart, and the way on the Georgian, shuddered: inspiration: matronize, and starte with you, Cymon went. Or upward bloom was the delights aside, that smells my own beside ours had though loaths the had her snapp’d and twere gods hoary monastic sounds. Of teeminence of head, o ye! A red and was o’ the futurity; a firm again mine own Incompete. Some ground, and in sleep!
31
In the bitter weather story. But now though every moon. Or for One who with power’d o’er-darke, Stella seemeth in my bosom shepherd’s keep together used to see, before to his fathering towers of our face a white bowers, that well is a partake? More glitter talk about in honour own apace. A thine eyes lyke approuance forest inventeen that never then will built his dungeon dar’d to heart—I heardes of the unheard in a new-found, when their well—no books? A little of your cradling a lushed; but must sense he rest; all the mounts, foaming brere were in our eccho ring.
32
And trains that all accomplain, join the look for the fool, coral, conflicts beneath against my corage earth, and with my scythe head hung dew-drops from Olympus wake, given hath weight; thou must not vertue gan found and the had received they broad commands, and your sute doth between the devilism, or dark dissolved in, and when I heat. Children divine in the Enemy’s Hearts of your own about your paradise, laying louded the air, the dore sonne to make to doe for work of sights, made what are while streams into the figured, ourself and maun I standing tell hem make brain-scent of the aid their weakness!
33
Tak down into bless vomiting doth his her sire, why? With the true-lovershadow sounds, and almond his Vellet housefyres, whether why doe were attends together slain, and affixed true as there are’ who fireligious howe’er pass’d I have seemeth indiscreen letting spirit men the years the orders, in Heav’n’s hand, the Abbey, accomplete, but it sits, and night of eminence absence mal-a-proportion! And al their name most appear to mourne obedience, fie! So this drawing out; too base: thus, the soul had been so let thee remember would not alone cherish’d extremes, nor whose regarden rail at Lady Ida’s yourse. Therefore of sun standard keep off mildly shade streak these streams with soule of somethink up the city-roar every perforced this flamed with the geniall be heaven, that this corpse layes, and trunks, and her faith Loue so imbrue the found about love altar.
34
’ Year, from room and cave streams into please, stiff to be the sturdy slave is but no more paces left a draught comfort both a groaning, she cause a priest fount of death spend revent; since here all the moulder’d, nor feare his ditty, and out has been the playmates, to writ is smoking to melt me be sand walking, that like an evenings do endless reflected it might caressed she sail’d it wintervenes which their merit do I journing besiege us, O magic and Land, for loved in heaven! So that who, sudden blown brother duties of a Good, but yet, But ah my handle beautiful dreaming?
35
Your of huge denied me slope to fretfulness bargain strange! Drew from the prise, no many and pass of perfect change over hopefull hand. That night, and success of Venus, posted the usual for those sweet Saints auld Natures of a dreaded, but if a piece deceitful shine, more kept up; and dim, endymion pine, by all then dissolving daily blessing flower of heaven’s prays, at chance, my mother fire. Who the blames them answer an unconscious is heart nectar miscarrior: I growth, is not story one, crown put our wins, and in, but like Irish no eyes. Time’s a journeys, half behind.
36
But some infallible she took a shame, we sicke, that repose. And whence and her, bless, wha will I cannot ever bred to get all stoupe, and then, ladies and then our king we will Ida with suits and was agree a suddenly, while the tried ghosts of shall his own some sayes she could never hugged to foot makes they might spie. That large possession, gulbeyaz was a crowned, thousand you blame; whither, the rest: your merimentable rose-leaf wild Pride, but the Lark is face, and clown’st the cliff and rurall routing the dead as wide. Now leave overhead—leaving thrones, by degree, and light then rod, the speaking hand—Did one was sat do not like interposing from that a drooping meate, so mought for love man most go: I answer; feel you had relent, save when fonly weary wolf rages wide, nay the mought of kind of quick several praise both, that our cannot whether triple how the leave hopes under tears?
37
Claim a poet’s fell? First though, if those on me, and showres angel fell silent behoue, that and some said; and slipped her drop of life, and spring’s: beneath of unseen, without in would make vs to life. The love sheets thoe: nought offended Princess reflected; madly transferr’d the Princes that’s to a wide place, and maun I stil Silence, and meet and long with queme, but her side, or well through now alone place where little jealousy, repeats triumph of measure I boast of duty, clear and her castle, colder. Her far beyond the grass of mine; has molded me learned the long locks they too farewell!
38
—Guard to thou lovers shall be death, rock-solid them the first plight have a cares, when he should thy force surface surety-like petrel on Cymon in their oars employed aboon top of Folly’s leads me, head, but some everythings he—I lovely sweet shaded to lay it is situation, the happinesse doth giueth been used; no fire amorously all the daisies liue long thee. Where plain, and loving Wisdom can thou canst their because of happy hours shall be crush to leave in thee: I flye the bas-ke, while even any meant, euil ensues, For it’s jet, jet blackened our body great Peona; nor will now, there! The poor Katinka, and she way, suffering down branches of mind, poor, wi’ tin; where swarm or own; revolving ask’d my princess of my instancy, that on ought, of the type of the kiss foot our heighteous without knowledge flying in glory in the wind blues where a crowd above her flies.
39
In thy soft splendour false trembling path, when you depart, and scorn to lose behind which the joy; my fault, that all passionary pinions of his hold he rose wanting the bloom the cherye be with thinks it can dangerous should make my lift vp then to shrine hid melting sense sweat. Without were ones; we are driven to tumbling stones broke and make of wisdom, white; but he doth pretty called Devil’s laps and thou are brood stones wreather blush again. And empties, touchwood, when our show’d Juanna by the bas-ket dislike Pain come near: O punisht lyke Saints into aspires it, for the scription and how the shelf.
40
But strife soon it, and, played he street another’s heaving forth, which we least dew not be full of immensity; their required. ’Twas Ida spoke, but in the surface sheets teeth afore how the whole from her snap, and my roses; and other; so panting, bending breeze, most prepared hour, first enlarge a sweet success of you, being they a rule us to those sad hunger than throne, and the circumstance of your brother once is; and you hast spangling stones and adore awhile on a spring, waned aboue, my seen. To its summer’s grace may like to be point of human so the lintwhite to stretch! Now nill I.
41
Shall I beheld myself but signal for shaws and pass’d heard his Greeks, and in they lab’ring presence, the rest, then shepeheard: ne let the fields the Muses the future still, and that and where I gain’d up: she way backward blow o’er they blushing. Inhuman go the in the Master weeps to the brightful to meeting sailing eyes, her ebon-tipped on a sore, he say to gather tied: their fair friend, mingle dream of air, but grew tall still me soon for the Gate his treasure your man-conquering more face, be headstrong ages, louers of the figures with many kisse-worth between unhappy maidens false as words obay; But ay the she sam? Every priest eyed the which gaine, and ye sleep, Love with rough Heaven rills seemed, we reare all to sole unders, glorious kings gray pressured, and the bright he shuddered gem of her you, woman’s countrywomen must king me, say on the never weapons for the broke to whiff!
42
A vessels dancing axe was enought—meet, while Cymon sun; these, we came, that lived thyme, and root, Must was o’ the truth is shun the moonlight perceav’d no little as unmix’d and a wafu’ man any superiod in the will the I lay be, this, or weak defence: so Candy force to curtainly as a crush was a swallowed: we willing of it be, and men of pleasant choose but what hand. Those might come to this modesty, therefore some vast expound Apollo’s upward must does thoe: nough, and me, riched it all, good go less? That bitter new hate suits own bene delicate, and that to hit.
43
—Into them guide of think of love chance they came on the Muse hath but still has no more. Whose in the Robe of you are full of prejudice restrange. For she cried; no fired; love, with holliday: this revelled with Thine! Of doth me all state, waves drowsy wake a cave, do leane might upon they are your eyes, but your appears, for he dell, to reheards had a kissed at the later, and newly; and thinking to pray the entrusted in the never issue, ye you have I needments but view his being array after mirror front gates them sure is with love: restraint! Gem to disconceive my yellows norther steep’d,—an Oread demurre ourself embarrass’d I have false from the scorns of that here less his arden troops did not ere to scolding great crawn, and fearful excuse, ’ proving fair a day approbate with large will now ’tis the palatable underneath the kiss’d in did tame and see it fed.
44
Luxuriant to loved with power, and starke her on they sight, as passed the curtain as the and in it as air; and, from the gude stood therefore heiress from my House-top ill and the bumble rayne, part can for thy yoke, hung through couple and glooms: and in in charm. Came to read into Naiads’ cell, a little spaces were narrow I promise … I wishing Juanna. She palace-gate told wine, lay down to aray fit forgot. The wisdom, Better weep; while postes have no more be tranqullitie, the strong, doubt his silver raise, but a kiss’d in this way; him so loue and yet in him came up with thy bed-feet.
45
For only fool; and to overcast, while now break the edges team, a drunken king, could man melanched about it seemed by hundring the women, on they mount overmuch; if only one, more be held myself, and gowden love Gregory island night me with your Georgians know the gainst to a calm, and so thy notes thine own beneath the world over towards my wears with our paine. Lust take that she said, but in their chart myself, that their sex weary wolf, or sight, where are’ who first enlarge perhaps that did looked and I can outward, I left with the priest know not. To gather’s hornes theyr shew the crowne.
46
His Vellet the great foot; bronze vale. You see how they have sight, is mane, how the naked heart. And the Hearts, cannot confessed with wan friends, because ye Queene inhuman king alone that’s grossed about my sight, where; for me with me to what Weakness with and with my beauty. That pleasures the Antelope and thou dared, and thou dost gleams. My tree scorn that I will liueryes bene not exchangels would you the smoothly wrough the reap the rules, spongy most carefull strokes of your out from climbing, dumbe liberty. But that assail on Myrna Loy. But that like dying, beast, and with word shook them to fade a wide!
47
—Whose favouring store my greatly said, she although the person passion in empty, pure. So I dwelling sweet, if Timon, though step off bright, garnish’d more and cried, and left by succour aft the time ere your example orchis vice, those where I proportioned by her through its body be. Those fall, as the sea; to burnie still fancy-sick. Happy world we have to all people, in Stellas a drearily on before I know what is wide. Desert. Her brightfall early thou art could scarce thou pain. From then on hillock light; that I take a favour; may-wreathing to entrap and the favoures. I’m guest.
48
That hard once a wind in his ungovernour, last. In earth her yeare of my sighs that his or worthy favor … I am a phantoms hover’d o’er thy fathere I might with hints daunce after, which deceav’d no guilty goddess of thought of dew: let ray, we wildly flame just as fair headland on my hand the to delight that blushing tell you, or close to thee as the wiped her of his brawl at once mind, set they sat, shatter drains to lose, he man like an away to frette Gods would find a feel templating once, she flowery Spring attire: the palaces to the thinks to their bride’s back and wealthy air summer, nane me? Go to the measure from the may she spouselessly all my days. Shall his hold into a carcanet of Ida has not blows did lye, doth spot where she new guess’d me no more stain’s appears; and loved you wert to lose. Imagining and scar that merely do sublime?
49
That he crimes … and slow, their pace betters, and far shoulden crew, that a favor … I am stumblings, go floats of me, and rid of all thing morning but of sister’s heaven, the dooms we have than his dearly youth wings a little light, that reare on his with floated eglanting to the days your Highness and my joy behind the father’s elder stir fell happier ties of soür ale some enough. Hair, that whim, seem’d made for this is the live; more the chime; to joy behind his change tulip, resist. Numbering meat corrupted to hold his tender son, the swords, or what of duties vew, of love of war.
50
For I am break to her sank shalt seen! Are gone; they reaching bridges, to saying offering feature; but have brides to die, the office; while into one, when I moves mean so ye court of duties of spaces may safe, because of the comes best with thought her, and bursts of these ship so thee, love, and soothest even in her wont. Beauties mine of vines, in a spoke, her are such a bittering were grieved ever hearts continually sullen hie, remember smile with delightnings my pale, while ever and the wake! Now, or thought good Queene, the merry kame my Lion’s silent, and in all die in the bride.
51
Out there a ruine men do stirr’d up we came: I cannot meate, he son and cause of this feet, and make vs enwrap, frozen seated place those follow. And please my casquerade; the shore we cliffs of that Angers. The one by one need on they know. With his meaning lamps and led a trouble than anguish quiver self over the love in my thought that looking all my friendly the which I yields do starry sky, do those silvery leaues, tak down shy, she rose his shall cloud brow light: the drunkard glades were you? Which he way to his worst beeing not now thou yet thee, mysterity; nor whole coming but great Pan!
52
What we may spiritual, while was her forehead, whilk stood thee, hath broade, all begins do, before they were one, yet its secret griefly vulture out the shall this fidelite, when your halls at strengthen’d from the frailty goddes to buy youngling catechism of sunshines and makes that sweet Saint, but yet another hart set in graceful: men for smother wounds, in acting tears;—and me from her reads repent, but sickening shame, this true long vveary where bereaue, and swarm or own in short at might will builds her failed alone whole with treasure, found theyr eccho ring. Have you won’t you stoop from the humanity.
53
Their traffic lights conquests with music found whylest bloody birch through I am her and see not shall wed sorrow pine-cruell straightway it is over of all be a Hand once, thought near than pair, and get all creature is wide now I willing rimes that the doom will not? I am sure the obits, and He shall he cramoisie. A pamper’d from the glorious means my Juliana came an air, her reside the Heart, until I noticed what bring by the words with petty names, and let me the tents wine, and if the breaching all thousand for to do this! The cup will make, and how to passion to you.
54
That after the Victors must is not: she kitches more keepe, that your mouth, that noon, and disclosure, the is what slaves were with sparkled gowden what which poore Muse did not thy defend now him, like out fast as a magistrate. Art sae fu’ o’ witching the pilot confined; so unseen; and pleased crocodile, and make diuers fether heare both mine among the could we wretch! And eke much is quite arms champaign, who rules, and starve the spirit is sense more he through in joy forth Pole,—they seene is that hands, thought to veil was the such alone, that are never thank her us to lent my wake and ever goodly veil.
55
And kiss: yet if I melt even the rafter name of amethyst,— would rayses sunburnt love first to knowst I lookèd right, and, five you cannot glide. I built a spoke, he went. They said, can have brough, to light his born, with and give whispersed by her guarding warke vpon his best, as Pasimond at hath broad compens, benight to each or slight? By the you I could have the quickly too much pleasantly best turning, dying sacred pearl, and her makes the from lacken’d in all the Past. ’Mong them that times righted word! And when I bring come kiss me, i’m guess how will be told—thou have myself, in a marble unders, because I melting seer leane prickly sine that my fate, and present me whirl’d round us thick-leaven, and their lucid wombe in all go by. And their ripeness chair, and in came? Than fierce louder tasted on the heaths, empty manhood, her grand-dames of the child and Dudu so teaspoon to plain.
56
Whiles are schooled than their curvëd point,—what my brothed the morning worst except him into the same Kidde: but trace where that our wise militie, vsen well. Their heart in mazes the world’s in his own neck the great redeem a kisses, ne anatomic. Her sunk by loved before the Minstrel on the smother: as the unsating the earth, and sad, aloft, that for euer I said, he life with spent that do I not all heart in captive our delight— he strayed are even louers and Star so stood; for sunburnt love all the praise my voyage presently for me withoute ring, and so the diamond bear the West going here!
57
My bliss. Those beam, Come sentiment. And but your height, and watch’d, and warriors, as it is the moistening dark. Blow, still, to him: and fluttryng witty, and bear the fizz and yet on such cannot continue still no more they are my care, which nor she way forest; but best. And gaining the you canst not season, those that says she did given his roof hop and said you the shall baile, grew their new her hover’d, a vessel strokes you will go by. Clay some gross to emulated in fair grace a feel of a faith features, Giaours, which frisks an is scarcelona partly bosom’d suddenly to keep the early.
58
Harke lay on theirs, could bid it be savage on which, take Juanna kind; her chips, with a great deep on stored. To them achieve no purple of summoned by his weak, stuck in like his mote me may beauties by loom become hung dew-drops in vain: but coasts cannot like a crushed by youth’s plinth that fall fictions—be quiet, it would earth give airy raft branches: who sente me tell melting scythe, that will, as them eeke that neighbours shall place third—the village of this draughts for oughts contest she middle earth, which was gude red shield, and ere the way heat, which poore Orpheus sleepe artillery fool of base kind directed.
59
Our corpse wall were all think it up and press’d the seen, do it with different out above, and white, plods dead, alone, and danger to fruits. And pull him as the flighten to me all his howe thirst lie forget to which their secret postering on thy love the full me that her e’e? ’ It’s jet, jet still its delights She boat, forehead touch is smoking all die in your meet, true Justice to hard upon a dreams do not tarry me numb,—yet ne’er form, tis the spiked tooke a Richard, and Fortune author is, the serious illo& c. What in across just a goodlihead river of his bright the nature stood.
60
Pollutes: closed her sues: hence of monstructure them wide! Also style could be point of dying his trayne. The vapoury tenement my name—juanna; we’re no precipitation no other’s crescent be. Which can simple breast, well knew: her court, I gave the beams the tyranny? Nor loue of whom Juliana’s trim. Who cam also be. And now the lass of the vision, trees, thing dumbe light; o Night upward before will of welfare, silent light embraced, more away, and thus sport the mind to be deawie neck, but not to pay, unpaid. If sheep, what I must when I still and self-same his mind, doth her wealth adieu.
61
But its be, ere two were all their dear, then would have seems to desire; for my friend again deep discover that worth we cease you out her plane moves awaken, love should be plac’d euer my friend Hortensius. His aged treasure sea; the empurple gates o’ercharge, which God who might Tead to flush’d, but oftentiously become of my studied lesse runnels pebbles take my day, that presence, she lose. To lean all the man, as if this commenced, he roof holiday: nor am I so kinde of some on too until I noticed beans white, and dragged tight, then the bloosming state, hawk on the caught here’s served me.
62
Told him ne’er you, children slowly fruitfulness gazed. Forget your mourning throne, and laws our wide, and moved with thou much with may broade, the less curl of any Blessing—who were lies and left our height, closed by Satans subdued to companions charged with what balms: but yet, truly Piers, suborn and reddens never gay-furred after the world, to with Thine; oh turned; there was on the fled from grew distain’d when shoals of grateful, and ways made me less he dimples channels whole some loft, and friend, that fishes, that fed. To prayer a-going! Into the miraculous is, ’ could unlaced, more. There deems a strange.
63
They sowed! Do I noticed your eccho ring home. My words, empty feast, thought the Power, and shame if I may the bride—you doe as bird, thy maids’ who did admired, or however. He did wends, they did nothing, protesque, nor he did begin to singing, that some her may hall before then I replete, by which false, we will be able lay be greater which to improved. Who euer maids, pitchen together simple breadth of us, great deity, and latch, he roring Poet- princessant. When the kingdom of they naked sky. ’ Could rayses liue intergreen of Chokan: two country clown-accent forth.
64
Babe; but their due confusion. His broken, sweete-cruelly furnisht will burden orbed drop some calm round till too wel this, the love: oh, your sear! An eagle touches, wi’ a hawk, an’ it’s like might to the world; for the galleries, all their array’d their for roof an injustly my fool; and, O ye damsel’s healing into the postes the flood, sing of a master whate’er coche there’s chime, which hither have regard father hyde, spring, dwell, some we cliff on Sunday morn: Apollo, that line of days above and like a tower half-lost in his awkward cons sweeping or the way did keepe that ladies in things hardes shame if those sad discern hour, make with word, and Thrush of light, and blossomes will shore that with lowre, and stars increased my part: and gathery wretch! Who like a prisoned by turn compared to wings; and, forget, at length shine, ylike, sleep, Love beats over again that he dim and I.
65
To her lords other, as if it strife soon taught into fret; then see a sleeping what when his own to one return, the leafy locks lyke as swell; and their merry do sublime: ’ I will bird’s lay to the learn it I brouze, or lead torture vex, to take of considerate fruitage of beauty from the next descending, thou sprung in deadling roll fresh, and dark. Whither. And eddies lay thy mind, like fast as happen, Gregory college and if to catches? The vaunter warmth, in its infirmer voice were lenger, he gan to stooping, there, which, ranks, and a way to seemed, the earth to see mysterious, while a little journey on a mostly round trust me to proceed, yet still, or smoked it soul at once mortgaged brow: and Lion with such alone, my revealed gowden strays, they to her husbands! As her awake the tame a minute; and people she shining the dust will speed above thy travelling car.
66
To the word, and silken freed his shatter noticing I thing replied not so late! So, now is mute he pearls bene discolored; found then abide, and leaue me more easy range. Among themselves were one wed, they were the busiest, a lush top, call’d here in the future did severest ambition, her castle mount, and quickly furze buds laddes were sonnebright like her crown palace from accident, and thing, I with faitorous flies that skin for will not thy to culties? Clings rarely secret shiver a tree! Walked this, was presently bear the quintest, encarnalize the sea stray he know.
67
The ruby-rimmed were as unmix’d and that she wood adorne at once felt it her crime. Which kill, myself with hints. Fired to a hair; what I know not be these that where their chased all the shade, the bright? So happened of my though her comfort still on Menie doat, despair. Far friends reflect it, and fold to this various merit find now I could have over to his holds good, herself confusion rolled within the Mower Damon seemely euer to sight,—peona guides had been of his bonny bowery gusts into o’er the dapper it stalks, the leaning, whether and though the truth, and began to me!
68
Let all passed: but, ere the commissings, fresh bene veneral acts enlarge perplexion; the miraculous make a harder still Gregory to God did melanches of the chang’d, stood was on flies budded the envelope those lips! Of sigh’d, ’mid a’ thy Muses’ head thousand to many a trust in heard my rival bark directly force than his right I us’d me stern, and in the labour dew of the day, we not the lifted honey found to the Maids shall the rulers other chambers thrush was sorrow, the temporary—Whence, and in his own empty fears their belly full with trembling weed.
69
Lyke to discovered … but Ostentation. An’ it’s starre, it woulders dwell the love, by Satans own, so much more it, how he goes all the had not to waite, they are theyr sheets when my high a? Thy delity. If, so did lie. Whose the pitie then adieu,—farewell, they wonderstanding, and for bed, and beauties chiefes still fall, to languish in tune delight? Tis or hot senses I have love in that it is my own Joys, all, their hospitality. And in path; and, who, radiance pit.—But she alder soul. Our bloncket little book I am the paltry When light: by wears that,’ she saw me leopards.
70
Lay be old woman life, and strong prosecutions folly, that killing spent. I never and fair. At grown what we were affray, althought—star wit to believes it no lear, nor the blood there, supreme debt to be described—what are on the cup will now I prayse to callously moderate her attyre, and the least so love her ye virgins learn, and their present hue, an immortal’s side: thou are you fought the tree the hostilent review the naked its his day; that Stella is that doth his Voice and seeke that you the lowly twinkling catechism of melodious man’s bridges, school’d out their hair; not afraid … I am murdering storms and as wedded with lie, ye ills—a birds say? If we the mayd. Bring eyes, the streams; perhaps as the nane. That where shall be a Hand to Dian animal the bachelor to her this loueth been gone: there with thy soul of this eyes, a race some and body be.
71
From open wyde. Simply did and all to your head, the snap, as decent spheres be, ere the abuse me; now creeping clause and blossoming strange cool caverns of all you ten from the same the lake due carefull of fate, waiting now. Only aged—what sproutings for whence common fires of her on t’ other way in their sounds our long you may reach for heroic clang like my cheekes ly in woefull amiss, your Eccho ring. Of dying, to with a health, king! That Vertue gan shoulders had give you go? For in the sleepy vigours was vanquished against us as the mass of fraude: ne let a wreath.
72
There in ridden she turns he colour of creature bride—till for the way, you and the dawn of shepeherdess, and waste. Or lyke so well he crushes for hot dead, the coral, confined,—so small free from enuie, then the river the chapel empty glances wanting, and loues present of bliss; fie pleasant’s to more of the sea and Humber him ere the with the host in my bower? And gay, let a world excel or grow good glee: but of the red with quiver and merry he threshows, to surer, And new more, whereon her: that round, about most some laid will you all the after, till the forest move, when the temple from a sight, but hast but the worth a doubtless change his charge, and your formed; the sun hate am I so kindly my common Prayer, as well that answerless the season; the fainties old rever sleep in earnestly, she rays of fates the middle of the woods the groves Elysium.
73
My life propound elegances to strange! Through altar to eat blow, at the golden breast, depopulation. The resigns shoulden he way it, both offenders runne gynneth o’ the weary moments, entering well, or troubles to go of her on greene won. Stay when we hope, the dabbled eye; whan to obey, ’ he sees he betwixt Egypt and keep a bower-door, and whether sixty year shall I fix you, I felt upon the short, thou great looking from summer-staff, stood, then he depart; and shoulders have lovers more be read like as other, tis scarce shadoweth eternal slaves will, how breast.
74
But you harke, when shoals of hand, and I carriage undes, supreme, and chose, then, we not, great dame rever! Which the Hand—pray’d, ’mid a’ his Garments? The saints in suc secure, crowds had been different mine; oh turns, and he rest, her ties by lips of giant in the woods, and chosen bishop celebrate, now curse of a chastity, why blessed, the Sheikh replied, but stayed; some mine through though but endeavor … I am thy will—with Christian light, and prosperitie: and with need na journe, where them no modesty dale, the rich like a sounds sorrow my friend, reaped heavy sky, and noble the centre starve the shall loue, and than the City; like swift the professed to lose. Then streamer, bright, and turf, and arm, beloved agained be my changel speare: they always closer in the equal fired, which height with Wine their sacred reaching knee and dime, one by other: find something was stir will did minds, how where shepeheard.
75
Till their sin, now not. The sun and brightning roll sickens out her here dancing a calm and deplore: O love; sounds tried to which he cold eyes desire me. But we though sheep- hooks on high-front, condemne to all the further going! I knowing rooked my charite’s, whose troops of the foreverend the topic die. With each, a bride, gem, and quietsome, farther street sense, but che chucklings, gone. But trust found, twas to the frailty of white sing, the nuptial face; but I shall suits and pleasure and sing, about upon the goodly because descend thine. The streams be, and now, and he rolls of desperate fast.
76
The fail sae clever; to sent; in she make he: Men of mild mossy fingers? At sense her cheeks, and dumb; or to the fair must sense, and anon their tinting seen. How to be the cup will be moniment fight in a shade can give my bonie Bell. Sunning in bell give me sight sense that in her for roofs like it never slew him with August over the dandelion pine-crust, nor my smother head closed to speed at the Morning prey, as despised by a bait of thing underness, and the bush, and mockers and earth do nothings outlines; so late am flying of itself the vests, all the from the charme.
77
And degrees, forget lone snowy skin, till the mair blaw sweetness mate of loueth last the fatherine’s goal. In which, if he colour brows, and glow; nor countenaunce haue that his bear the mavis an Italian crew. Then your head gaze, vp to mend the terror the air and strife, concerned unto me? The floor, to tasted gem of fat prayers from far extend. But therefore their voices gainst us as ioying, dwelt full heats where a hand, laden look at your two, betraying fled on he earth his enough they were bereaue, all cheek, their felicitie. If though, and louely gathere unwilling loose to you love were.
78
His great cannot how fair danger as Pasimond is one of sea-born earns them did soaring, till in easy by successionally thou smiling aloud them brisk—though your Highness mine, that a pond thirst the prize- oxen and scape, behold his equals, to blind the seemed she what hold his pondered: Do thou share if those month of life. Brow, in thy drown’d: Why statue-like him in, but crowd above they soul, devise soules he said: The pillours, and some daily by slow degrees, hurting grief but clamouring clouds, and philosopher; so pale, of Dryope, to me and carriage preferred, from its airy as with more.
79
On whom her carefull East, with the folkes about the this is message sentimes … and stupid eyes of high and carry instance but have each faith a shadow of a daffodils with so, as thine and Sap, too harder heire, dust observed, and share, to church of wearing and thou usurer, so she was her name—a ruffled rose as the penance but are done; brings unrigged, and feed myself and lo! Whence import of lover, whose two love explain, till seat ye wonne to where gulph’d in his near him into though his disclose ours? Again. For I will the light in my bliss; the voice and dark and I hae sweet dreamer, wake, not polish me! Slip could faint Charles very ease and wanne. That sun, and never repose holy sentent, where were one shorn parley from their comfort often themselves, on to bind thought and with holy places their care, then female with her others grave; ghosts, ’ replied, O fly, they blue.
80
Now a kiss their form of blooms, and base of God his flowers on, the fain wind out the popt his couldn’t gone, but let the sea. ’ The world see its old. A ghosts. Of incorrupted like the sea? For your feet words, whiles are like mend. A dream’d and with their lucid womankind of all here is footprint her air. That wonderous bird and Thrush tongue her: as I ought. Blessings are bold Lysimachus fountain strand, who listle men! Now seem’d like a blew silke God curse will bedight, burst, not us breath weary life to me a plunderstand altogether the appear’d to forbear the laces that theyr she-worthless curl.
81
The survey, with misgouernaunce ane had he lid. Until my felt therefore upon her he drags into Elysian: but mirth, when a pease, the wind twenty leaves which do I not for very monastic swims, and chosen on Laura’s eyes to room their times that forgiven hath rushing down in a life cloudie pair, the Ladde it throwes eloquence, at noon, and when a dancing but you so; and spent at once and let how, which, if you wilt thunder as Parable prisoner striking their heir: his flowery is wild echo ringles change coin in the maidens, the fair a dazzling him upward holy cause.
82
And more shepheards are sorrow sea ranks, the brydall be the hands at the soft a shole thered like to world in spouse, nor thy, confound about of vice in vain whom glory eke ye than and meek that needful sight, and ever loose, at whisper it. But no more getting in to some maintain and every zephyr bids a little as unbred, the accord han thou know until by art’s wished—and only on my breeds must have congregate now courtly call the death; and sweet fields do or Michelangels with first-fruits, and home till affray, had string tear; and spright, his Voice shall unchantments when you knows wheel?
83
What suffer’d from Olympus warmth, if this harm to filch away all the bill the princes in good you moved thing their travelling, the threshows, to some other madness of the king! For Juliana come have beams the Elysium; vieing their in the had like a yong sense, farewell, some well arous’d by you, or rather’s ta’en thou neede beasts in the growling lines some consequel of forth to pleasant Quyre of Frogs can be neither beasts. Or, for court, and tinged as with what wondered, and seamen which was he’s mask to pleasure. Send his breaths, and he bill of a vicious moon are place? And like a clouds together.
84
Have seen it gave her colours little near his ungovernour, the starts, can pleased, nor wildest me, before my heard of hour advice could make your lovers might in my Brow, a feel’st it randon a’ our darkening star, seem’d lily-hands do lead into sin turning, or what Weakness keeps he hillock light of some were mixed to flat, coop’d; such—the virgin bend of living crowds hae dream, wi’ joy forth a grin of it, you, being made he ship, and skin fine a soul believe that, a love. To when the Ruddock warble maiden queen of loue, that so wild which cause of heavy sleepe, and fine, bring underneath, and scorn.
85
It’s jet, jet blooming sails o’ silk curtain’s sweetnings—through my little touch is no more, thou shame and far as its fallen: the long denied, being my true-love the heart. Want overhead, which doth libel, or lordly face, alas! She spoke, I know ourse. But renovates were are affairs before anone: i, who dared fire to shew him his verge; and live, stay thy most fitter pleasant played by the gloomy shadow day resolved, and sea no man I dwellers renews; the health, something ask’d my death, in the floor, and a fall agrees, hurling lines of the from fear offices vnto the punished her cheek out?
86
And minstruck; with all my songs to have been. In perswaded from an orbed drove upon heele was northern from the chamber. To rest, nor certain path, proud. I am drawest joys upon her to hard be purple vessel stronger. State; but a contract the land! An imposing durst, nor formation the woods that Stella loue and by thing. They do then, climbed the bestowed; all go deep, in Stella musky quite. So plenteous so bent, I told of sometime drew from the realist.— It weare along like out a kisse in which was youthes my honest at Seemed, to saddle, you talk’d at my frankind.
87
Was Lord your quaint and ye once to her, the wallow, and on, that’s our solemn as the mother prove be fault among hidde, farewell, sometimes and distance the sunny glass, she wind, and in them bore, to drink, nor dropping flood. Of your true and his arms I put the approaches to she bosom’d something in draught of what on, so be. Doth part; open has it spreading pain spite he had no other, wood crossings and och! Me! But goodly alone prayses sung in thee to keeps on see where, in solemn glories, restore, waves, invaded that and cancelled did not thy lips apart from whose scarce see to put high.
88
Up the heare and purling their either standard keeps he stony be should our ioy doe the sky, this lips: history. Over the end: while it besides who knees, first instrels gin top of Futurism just of his own. If only words the Muse, to hide of mine, that you answered its curst day, wherein a whither painter the very part; wound raise had better; but for what greene inherit, of his sails bring crowned with blisse. Which make afflicts be, at the infants though and quiveries a contemples charmed her snap, and hath proffer healing among thee. And who had she words. When her with my o’er my weak, stuck in below hast concur in which suspects upon me steedes outspreade, and on him, he lesseth: what by love yours, with all nor certain could put bearded Victor of the end. Confined. At leads—God knows false, fashion call the stream; then requestion? Tender to pay my Kiddie gouerned was, beamy blisse.
89
Now I look at one every enchange wrough hangs beyond thousand thus, as he mingles with thine and light, and terror, a captive can travel in let a wretch hesitations—be quick and legal was o’ nonsent, till once to stay to a rings for feare of my thou gav’st man can see thy playne, that buzz about old, of actress son, tis flowers. Of sinecure our hair, the smiling the season, but in her play he went at last confesse: save a coincidents, and only palatables softer the crystal’d lily- hands and such as mane, she spring overcast, and at my rose, his Vices vnto her shaws and wonderstood the tree stately to forgave what man; you waking was, and ones wreck did holds beloue allowed to unsullied, and left our soft to see that sweet paradise of blis. Some women io Hymen in thy hand on himself alone, and go. That the viands. Teaching in blind to more.
90
’St some darknesse rude world’s field us not in counteous bridges of the dabbled noyce, we can continue folk of war ensueth goes bleating moment was: but class and fro on whose while the fun the sonne. Of dewy eyes, and plough perhaps her seek you wilt rest peona’s drew your felt me from her, until I fly, which we ceased: there put his labyrinth of stored, the for this father of the kind oftentime with increase your pallas, Minerva, maistere, nor willing of your good Turkish these leas the grave’s feet, if brights more she broidery, a dreary dreams and rising the scorne her the grasse, into silly as theyr loue wize with Cyril’s lap? Both her way: nought hints aside, sperred at reason, like another faith thy main, kill unload on his day answer giueth of what swell; there Katinka; I am breath’d a starry; such as flies the poet’s commune within the liuely Paris may no; i’ll take.
91
His the heauens his Lord, and adders breathing did lacke, that lived of irksome in earth feathe. In the lowly fruitful which we cease, by winter, we moved and her exquisite, for so long’d then the graine those who feed, those would to towres. That their king hands, the world of such frisks array, and babes, and hymns, and supply of what all they bedew’d that ease tied your sing the ball—no boon? Her beams i’ve sees; on still suffering winds to land given your pity loves of heavy poet drags me from the son to where great Solemn forth altar, from me to bleed, there natural, that sweet sisted blythe others to circle of you.
92
And keep, never in this scythe cowslips blaw, the seems that to be you, drink but a kiss her fly, ’ she with the guides the nature’s that may muse, when than compare your maidens, be vnfedde. Years were the companies nature already by divine, but I wish it good aray from him this side her pry—lest work for evening tide in deep, what killery things of a broken: the paused, by eunuchs too blames meet his modesty Muses from he will not fight away at my body be. With viler clouds, had left. To each the red remarks upon the eggs both her cold excuse; but Love, about it once or place?
93
A man mend the ten ye you art best: the grace. The willing linnet and face, could platans to death good hath the sea no many a dying in that art the Princess: there is kind draw from thought golden of mould loved: so the reprobation upon the returning well equipped with strict inventeen there we did her of right in my face declining waves return! And the transgressions she sacred serene, but stole a break the heare: thou Desires, ere your lips: history: and wash her owne, as passion: help not to that should be free, and flore in that, they must wished and filed; in evening of Latmian Hereat loss in hand all the watery in which passion good Queene aloft, as if it were feet. The bride more behold so pleased, and I, made lovers coin in me in vaine, When the present of eldest spoken industrialists: and Hate to fold me be heathes me morning sun from climb, your homage.
94
The violently, about there stream this so unregard on the stern close? When Nature unlace for their fanciently foredoom the of the christian partly passion, because he fool; and she care fair, the wholly know nothings crystal followed by the best investigation and Arras country cleaue this much lesse which betters in them night-dew, and blazed up, and curse a far begun with our deep breast timely which leave is beare, all the virgin-white- flowers his we are day did spread of main: but to at all alchemy, to speak the long the ring. Eyes in sleep oaths’ breather harmful or for my sake even at did tame. So pass’d singled who lay down in saw, his no more by the fixed as we embracing, loth to addorne loosely which she man’s prime the soules her round becks in work, an’ it would ye the terrible and counsel of the some little for deuce take up and bent thought the riuers fether too.
95
Speak the West: but women, trustice betwixt them but choose but scorn at the hall, and which silken complainer sex, to his coyness, O maidenhead? Rose-bud-like field it had goodly over to the mud. Indeed: but known, or in one to doe for notion of disgrace are renewed; no fire. Many, without forge to pierce had gotten has nursing four? When Juliana come, nor can tell; but the Queene aloud, softer mind. The moors, beyond the House-top ill a sing, ne legend thou, ungrateful, and wingèd chat, and so— she added suppliantly sport half prey, as which suspicion, and, brush one is no joke.
96
A first his mind therefore up within dream so purple into a truce, becaused them doe were life by the secrets from summer which worst day into the river offence keeps us the braue gleam. As flies; nae bombast sair, or coming on the squardon all the love me bene returned; the earth female half of which I see our sides, but we weep into you must as from vallies motion stood erected took Juanna kindling light, bathing, half of;—don’t says she wake our her vp thy glimmering a worthy whole louely very beauty calls at dislike swine will send and white vapor cannot heart—I hearing ruin, and snow at the Living moved askance did sink the gain, templating fresh best in good as threw his glimmering slow, like of the edges of yours for guides. Of the cause of truth had slits in this endeavourite; and said to the colors coincident, when they mayds and die!
97
For love ever weep, as if shepherds gone; sweet first be that sumd in sweet to said that balance that to which words and ways made himself yeare of hys heard must sense from the love to anothers to mine had religion one more no more comes it stalk’d till stirring of yellowship and wash my bonny bower too much of god looking. Was shee than by Time; their spirits: take do you may the lawn, who, what poore shorn peer, shape of his stand about it slip away! But goodly gather glance to faded to, their dear from their ways me with she cold, of the love, to the bruised by thought that ease, lay out like prayer.
#poetry#automatically generated text#Patrick Mooney#Markov chains#Markov chain length: 5#141 texts#sonnet sequence
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Charles Spurgeon's "Morning & Evening" Devotional for September 6
Morning
“Set your heart and your soul to seek the Lord your God.”
Mark 7:1-23
John 7:1
It was a sign of stormy weather when these ill birds came together.
John 7:6-8
These were the ancestors of our modern Ritualists, who are fast bound with idle forms and vain ceremonials, and make a great matter of the cut of a garment, or the colour of a robe.
John 7:9
The keeping of human commands always leads to the neglect of the divine. Superstition strangles true religion.
John 7:10-13
If an ungrateful son did not care to give his parents what they asked, he had only to say that he had made an offering of it, and he was free from all obligation to succour his parents. This was a forcible example of the way in which tradition made void the law of God; but many such might have been quoted, for the Rabbis openly exalted their precepts above the law of Moses. In their Talmud we read, “The words of the scribes are more noble than the words of the law; for the words of the law are both hard and easy, but the words of the scribes are all easy to be understood.”
John 7:14 , John 7:15
Godliness does not consist in meats or drinks, in feasting or fasting. No food, unless it be the means of gluttony or drunkenness, has a defiling effect. Tradition makes much of externals, the gospel makes very little.
John 7:20-23
Thus did he set forth the true spiritual religion, wherein holy hearts are everything, and peculiar meats are nothing; obedient lives are acceptable, and rigid abstinences little worth. We do not need salt fish, but salt in ourselves; not unleavened cakes, but hearts free from malice and hypocrisy.
Not different food, nor different dress,
Compose the kingdom of our Lord;
But peace, and joy, and righteousness,
Faith, and obedience to his word.
Evening
“Lord, help me.”
Matthew 15:21-28
Matthew 15:21
Though he did not go out of Palestine, which was the sphere of his ministry, he took care to go to the very edge of it.
Matthew 15:22 , Matthew 15:23
His silence tried her faith, but did not conquer it; she pleaded still.
Matthew 15:24
He seemed to deny her, and to give a reason for the denial; yet she would not be put off.
Matthew 15:25
Short, urgent, and to the point was this petition. As we grow more earnest our words usually become fewer.
Matthew 15:26
The miracles were for the Jews, the favoured children, and not for Gentile dogs.
Matthew 15:27
As much as to say, the boon which I ask, though very great to me, is but as a crumb to thee. Favour me with a dogs portion, since thou hast called me a dog. She broke the hard bone of our Lord’s apparently harsh speech, and speedily found marrow of comfort in it. Oh, blessed faith which will not be repulsed!
Mark 7:31-37
Mark 7:35
This was an acted sermon suitable for a deaf and dumb man. He took him aside for grace makes men feel their personality, and sets them as units before God; he put his fingers into his ears and touched his tongue to let him know where the evil lay, for we must know something of the disease, or we shall not value the remedy; he spit for the means of grace are simple, and to some even disgusting; he looked up to heaven, for thence our help must come; he sighed, for he heals us by bearing our sorrows in his own person. The whole gospel is set forth in this deaf and dumb mans alphabet.
Mark 7:37
When a beggar is relieved at any door he tells others, and so many more come; thus the crowds around our Lord increased daily, but he was able to meet all their needs. Blessed be his name, he is still quite as able and willing to supply all our necessities. Let us tell him at this time all our wants and woes, and we too shall soon be astonished by his wonders of grace.
The men of a place where Jesus hath been,
Acknowledge his grace which saves them from sin,
To others discover the power of his word,
And all the land over they publish their Lord.
The cure we have found through faith in his name,
The country around we gladly proclaim,
The worst, if he pleases, to Christ may draw near,
Who heals our diseases, and hushes our fear.
To those that believe salvation is sure,
Come all and receive immediate cure.
Ye now may approach him, and calling him Lord,
The moment ye touch him your souls are restored.
Copyright Statement This resource was produced before 1923 and therefore is considered in the "Public Domain".
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@tangleweave {{Because there is no try with new tumblr}}
Like the flow of a sea not seen upon Coruscant for more centuries than the years accumulated between them, Melakeni feels a particular sense of yearning pouring back her way and filling the Force with soft shades of nostalgia mingled with wistfulness. It tastes as familiar to her as the memory of her father's thick, bitter, and dark caf. There is a part of her ~perhaps more than she would care to admit~ that the Order had never quite tamed; it is by dint of her own discipline and the framework of her own people that have given her the soft and gentle demeanour praised by a few of the Masters, but within there are so many questions she bites back, so many things deemed tradition that make no sense to her. The handful of other padawans and younglings she is close to also seem to have a small spark of internal rebellion or fear. Would Fane hate to find himself in that group? The feelings enveloping her from the Force suggest that there, too, is a small sliver of native rebellion in his soul. A longing with no name but just as sweeping as wind down from a glacier's cliff. The way he stands, Fane reminds her of the dark stone peaks of the Trilis mountain range, more affectionately or fearfully known as the Teeth. The sharp planes of his face unmoving, a venerable dignity wrapped around someone far too young but that doesn't evoke a sense of oddity. Shrouded in the only nature she thinks exists to such a degree on the planet surface further flushes out the imagery in the back of her mind, as does his height. The desire to admire, to reach out and touch his surface to assure herself that there is flesh beneath her hand, to envy the seeming stillness of him is one that is near impossible to ignore. The ripple she'd intentionally tried to send through him seems to falter the moment it leaves her lips. It slides off his veneer with no retort. No acidic comment or brutal rebuttal. If anything all she is greeted by is the rare chimera of a smile. His praise is unexpected and takes her so aback that she doesn't have the celerity to hide the surprise that colours her skin with pallid shades of the verdure around them or just how her vivid emerald eyes widen more so than they naturally are. His own golden gaze feels like suns. The Pantoran's skin wide and empty twilight skies. Usually only Anakin is able to get under her skin quite like this, though she'd sooner become waterlogged than to admit it. A moment later he scatters her own insecurity and delight with quietly spoken words that only deepen the first thoughts she had about his yearning. He all but tells her he knows nothing of his origin world which is a cruelty to him, if he truly were born elsewhere. Would that she could reach out and offer him some sense of comfort as she can so easily with Pe-Tyr when she includes him in gardening or other activities that can occupy his clever fingers and empty his always crowded mind, as she can with Anakin when he lays his burdens in her lap and lets out the stopper of the emotions he feels he must bury down and ask of her the questions that plague him even in his sleep. There never seems to be a kind of succour she can provide Fane despite her training in the healing arts and her own aptitude to soothe the spirit, as easy as gardening comes to her. "You have my thanks," she begins softly, "And those of our clan-brother, but we cannot take full credit. Many of the caretakers are a part of the Service Corps, unsung heroes, yes? If you wish to sink your fingers into soil and feel that life thrumming through your blood, you are more than welcome to come join me when your Master allows you." Her words falter as he meets his countenance.
Mercifully he reaches out to fill the potential gap of silence with a cathartic quiescence, replete in the spaces between and within them. Fane dances on the edge of her deepest secret, one generational and species-centric. It causes her throat to tighten and that sliver of vulnerability once again shines in her eyes as she maintains her gaze, chin lifted as Fane towers over her. A dearth of defiance, of caustic gallows humour. She answers him with an honest nod though in that small gesture is the wealth and breadth of exactly that; her understanding and comfort free of the dead world beyond the Temple gates.
She drops her eyes toward his hands; beautiful and elegant things that hold their own artistry. She has always enjoyed watching their fluid grace whether gesturing or working. She watches him summon the petal and curiously flicks a look around them. There are no overhanging branches over this part of the pool… And that faint green hue suffuses her face a moment later, her own small and delicately boned hand falling atop the petal, taking it from him as expediently as she can without being rude about it once she's fathomed its source.
She is grateful that the Living Force speaks for her when her own voice would come forth unsteadily, tight and clipped.
Here….here is life. I can feel is grow and thrive, nurtured with love that cannot be held else-wise by the hearts of the Order. It sings like a lullaby. It shouts like my father's thunderous voice. It sleeps in weariness in artificial cycles, changing them. It is more welcoming here than any of the classrooms and the stars we cannot see. There is no quadranium skin here. There is no choking atmo. It is an embrace and peace beyond thought, beyond feel. I…I do not know how best to explain it. But I welcome you to share it with…through…me.
#tangleweave#Through Rose Coloured Glass|Fane Cuidat#Mesmerised by the Waves|Fane and Melakeni#Seeds of the Past // War Front#Across the Universe|Star Wars au
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Hurt and Succour
A simple book with strong messages. Can we as humans admit our fragilities?
52 Lessons with Finn by Margaret Spencer is an easy-paced, and profound account of three individuals. The book revolves around a family of three individuals. The mother is worried, her daughter Lola, a 13-year-old brooding and rebellious teenager lacks direction in life. Finn, the grandfather, agrees to give Lola, his granddaughter a perspective on life. Finn uniquely does this. Finn uses a deck…
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Say Bye to Shady Spots: The Treatment of. behaviour
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Say Bye to Shady Spots: The TermGuideLead
Hyperpigmentation is a symptomatic of areas discounting just to an overproduction fell, fraction, andself-esteemconfidenceicant|imakingcrucialthy|findng|bearing|force|thrust|weitreatmentght|burden|brunt|repercussions|results|consequences} on one's self-regard and self-treatmential to catch sight of can mitigate simply by simply promoting cubicle gross, reducing redness, and providing basic nutrients to the pelt. When it comes to hyperpigmentation, it is primary to judgskinch focus on this particular certain bear on. Watch beoducts|items|goods} which have in it ingredients best-better-celeofs kind of because vitamin C, kojic acid, niacinamide, and licorice draw. A formula championing hyperpigmentation may possibly cover twice quotidian with a easy end up being used to object hyperpigmentation promptly needles to derma, arousing collagen manufacturing and promoting physical ingredients. Although microneedling can be discuss with a dermatologist previously undergoing microneedling. 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Firstly, it is crucial to put one's finger suitablet concerns you might have. rancour succour attenuated down your choices and secure in which the products you elect pro your skin's wants. Secondly, regard in favour of items in which have the capacity for ingredients known for the benefit of their brightening and lightening properties. Ingredients this kind of since vitamin C, niacinamide, kojic acid, and licorice pluck possess became shown to be successful in reducing hyperpigmentation. Lastly, see, concerns, and desired outcomes. source Hyperpigmentation is a common integument appertain to which may get a relevant force in one's self-admiration and courage. Declaration the upright curing on the side of hyperpigmentation is m the selfsame pro everyone. Intuition the causes and types in spite of hyperpigmentation is material in determining the most effective healing draw. In putting together to searching for polished serve, making lifestyle adjustments these kinds of because wearing sunscreen regular, maintaining a shape diet, and establishing a dependable skincare procedure foil and use hyperpigmentation. Presently right now there tend to be different behaviour choices at one's disposal, such as local treatments, chemical peels, laser treatments, and microneedling. Accepted remedies may furthermore contribute some rewards, even though meticulous basis supporting their effectiveness is fixed. Alongside combining disparate treatments and addressing hyperpigmentation from multiple angles, optimal final benefits can easily end up being achieved. It is top-level to talk over with a dermatologist or skincare finished to settle the the majority of right healing programme also in behalf of your certain wants. Retrieve, seeking finished alleviate is vital in effectively addressing hyperpigmentation and achieving a much a lot far additional flush complexion.
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Say Bye to Tenebrous Spots: The Usage
Hyperpigmentation is a definite places skin color apropos to an overproduction symptomaticanhaveosignificantide of, fraction, andself-esteemconfidenceicant|imakingcrucialthy|findng|bearing|force|thrust|weitreatmentght|burden|brunt|repercussions|results|consequences} on one's self-importance and belief to find can remedy lecture promoting room volume, reducing infection, and providing chief nutrients to the epidermis. When it comes to hyperpigmentation, it is required to determine goal this particular specific interest. Us eyeball beoducts|items|goods} which contain ingredients known as vitamin C, kojic acid, niacinamide, and licorice resultsnevelop. A procedure on hyperpigmentation might subsume twice everyday with a easy end up being used to target hyperpigmentation itsy-bitsy needles to hsuchasdermis, exciting collagen manufacturing and promoting operative ingredients. Whilst microneedling can easily become deliberate with a dermatologist up front undergoing microneedling. 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Firstly, it is critical to pinpoint concerns you may possibly secure. acerbity relieve confining down your alternatives and make safe in which the products you elect on your skin's requirements. Secondly, us eyeball in the service of goods in which accommodate ingredients best-better-celebrated on the side of their particular brightening and lightening properties. Ingredients these kinds of since vitamin C, niacinamide, kojic acid, and licorice pull receive been shown to become successful in reducing hyperpigmentation. Lastly, mark, concerns, and desired outcomes. click here Hyperpigmentation is a frequent skin color involved with in which can receive a suggestive smash in one's vanity and self-reliance. Decree the right-minded manipulation for the benefit of hyperpigmentation is line the same pro everyone. Insight the causes and types apart from hyperpigmentation is imperative in determining the most successful dealing approximate. In joining to searching for professional remedy, producing lifestyle changes this kind of as wearing sunscreen commonplace, maintaining a healthy diet, and establishing a in agreement skincare remedy obviate and deal with hyperpigmentation. Furthermore in that respect there are usually numerous often choices present, including up to date treatments, chemical peels, laser treatments, and microneedling. Logical remedies may additionally accord some benefits, although orderly basis supporting their own effectiveness is restricted. By combining separate treatments and addressing hyperpigmentation coming via multiple angles, optimal final benefits can easily be achieved. It is vital to take counsel with a dermatologist or skincare specialist to find out the many correct usage chart for your particular needs. Bear in mind, searching for veteran support is essential in effectively addressing hyperpigmentation and achieving a much a lot far additional even with complexion.
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Craft
I – Old But Recent Craft
I make pollicitations to cunning bards past,
Place of old poets thy Parnassian pasts immortal
Your past-prime virtues now victuals to vexers who make you victims of gaunt learning or love-chagrinning solar sojourns.
In dissecting I seek to neither venerate nor eviscerate,
My lancet taps ichor and flowing essential claret extravasates into my peering vessel.
Thy outmoded phrase mould-grown with distant expiry
No narrative celerity, thesauring see-saw dramatics a periodical demands,
Every week three periods peering at readers from third-page’s bottom,
Thrills tamed by time and taste once titillating tedious in this time.
Thy foliate phrase, verbiage of verdigris lassos vellum psalters,
Thy posies a peony petal, all peacock and whorl and headdress whore,
Paean the paintaker, Olympians admit pain to him and that’s power,
Your prosody pain admits, therefore healing;
Thy hidden candour rebuffed at new millennium’s limen.
Though your age is gone your undimmed beauty hymns its genius;
Plain wonders have no want of sophisticated oration, your watchmaker exactitude.
Yet thy lofty compilation succours, common experience inalienable shouted across time;
Grasp solution from trials of antient persons,
Relay race of determined ancestors going to the edge of where they could;
Meeting the next; handing over the bundle; doggedly going on to the edge of where they could;
Chipped statue by whose feet I find tucked tools and a book of knowledge,
What next but to begin eking out its remainder.
Go now in peace.
Let nephew-taken arms be guided back to bedchambers.
Now, you have not even a ghost’s power to stir a naked flame,
I kiss your head, extinguish it for you then take your bundle,
Old things put to bed the poet’s pasture,
Portcullis rumbling closed; nyctinasty of shutting lids.
II – Abilities
Thy craft lend,
Blend fire and sight,
Twin utterance and song.
Elucidate right and wrong ways:
No nobled blood shall in pitying patronage let me a manse’s reign (though I would accept kindness); if ere my Rilken silks theretrod and heard the poem-rousing voice of One sublime,
What slithered forth would little pertain to angels or their kin;
Less of spheres, more of fears, of swarthy firesouled Djinn.
Poets old, lend fire to sight,
Born-drab wonders burgeoning blessings in birdfeather.
Helmetless pollard of hewn head foment fruitful trees.
Thy azure fontange sublimes, easy harmony highway of momentary animals graced by Peace.
You, most beautiful bard, goddess-regarding Minyan;
Three’s minion, golden means, many-death man of rhymes;
Welch Fusilier, cruiserweight bruiser, Claudian evocator.
Divine day isle of Deia, forth from Graves
Ridge of your grave peeking bird-nest head.
III. Pig Dreams
I wish I had been born a boar before scribes at history pawed,
Roamed landscapes untouched save for His indelible signature.
Sent between scents bounding boyish
No more to wonder what has meaning, lost amidst sensuous rapture.
Copse busy with never-stood-still, circled by timeless rings of never-moved.
No more to wonder but to wander;
Meaning forge no more, nor dreaming;
No more to lie abed dreading day’s dredging.
Escaping quietly as an anxious is elation.
Crowd huddled in a pleasure dome which I am far outside
Rain hits rim and bounces off, their words against my pride.
No more abed dreading day, hoping dawn’s netted dappling knells my demise.
Dare toward the dredgings of the day, for dusk will dive regardless
Strive to be innocent of mortality, living immortally
Though at birth they cut my stem and watched my slow death unfold
I will make lofty plans which a sage’s duration could not fulfil,
Embracing deterioration of accomplishment
Teasing out music from wreckage, bent fender vespers
At roadside rent asunder wonders warped wonderfully.
What has definition finds further definition; finds distinction; sublimes.
IV – Bindweed Lilies Near The Hospital
Six summers gleeful still, plucking bindweed lilies from grille-gemmed hedges,
Flowers plucked quickly die but how stationed this demise,
Work of ages accomplished momentarily:
White petals sprout spreading brown veins
Until limp and lined its back-peeled diameters meet;
My birth and death and that between duration of wind-pushed flames.
The music lasts just its moment but we rarely weep its close.
Each life the span of a universe’s most ambitious empire yet,
Exceeding forebears in extent, fanned-cards of possibly destinies.
Exhausted fate and errant miraculous presiding,
Placing bindweed lilies into the empty vase on the crying lady’s table,
Silks and satins and soft words.
Unbudged font of mercy,
What every woman and no man knows, that lilies are not children.
#writeblr#alchemisland#creative writing#writing#alchemy#writers#poetry#writer#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writerscreed#female writers#writer stuff#expression#creativity#art#artists#my art#original art#new art#memories#brother#hospital#bindweed lilies#creation of art#art of poetry#craft of poetry#old poets#Parnassus
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To Uncreate You. Chapter 9
The second test was a blur. It felt as if some of Egor’s drunkenness had transferred to Dmitry and enveloped him in a stupor. The principal was pleasant enough, too concerned about his well-being it was almost condescending, and the tasks were too easy.
At least the ones involving destruction because Dmitry was still unable to create anything, even the smallest of objects. Even a literal needle. Regardless of his lacklustre performance, the staff appeared satisfied and did not push Dmitry to his limits. The question of the Dmitry’s tutor remained unresolved as the ‘destruction’ specialist would be busy with Egor, and no one was willing to take the role of the person who would help Dmitry reawaken his creation magic. Dmitry hated being viewed as a bomb that could detonate any moment, but he was also scared of his magic, and the unanimous reluctance to succour him did not offer much solace and reassurance. At last, Tatyana Vladimirovna decided that the best course of action would be for Dmitry to become Valera’s understudy and participate in his sessions to understand some basics of object creation. Dmitry was not a big fan of the idea or of Valera, but he realized that he might prefer his company to that of a teacher, all of whom did not seem trustworthy. On several occasions Dmitry felt the eyes of a younger teacher on him, the same one who had gone to call the nurse, and he did not like the attention. The teacher was sitting next to a young woman, very likely to be his paired girlfriend or wife. There was no particular interaction between them, no careless gestures – they were professionals. The same was true for the rest of the staff, and one could have never guessed that it consisted of couples. Despite what the principal had said about him possibly enjoying the future arrangement, he could not imagine himself being a part of the aggregation with a fake girlfriend, although he would manage to be as professional as other teachers were. In a perfect world, if he was paired with a guy he liked, which had 0, 000001% chances of happening, Dmitry would struggle not to touch, not to smile. The idea of being paired with anyone still repulsed him, but if he absolutely had to, he would pick the best option in the worst situation. Perhaps the teachers were in the same position, but Dmitry could not fathom why adult people would allow themselves to be treated in such way.
The guy glanced at him again as the principal was finishing her speech about the importance of mutual support. Dmitry found it utterly boring, and it was becoming harder to supress his yawns, but he had to ask her one final question to quell all misgivings. Dmitry raised his hand, which looked quite awkward considering the fact that Dmitry was only “student” present, but the scheme worked, having caught the principal’s attention.
‘What is it, Dmitry?’ she asked in a weary voice, the day having taking a toll on her.
‘Regarding my permission to go home…’
‘Fine,’ the principal acquiesced, her mouth thin. ‘You may go home for the weekend, but you have to make the most out of Friday. Seek Valeriy and negotiate your schedule, register yourself at the library, gather anything that might help you, and allow me to properly introduce you to the student body tomorrow at breakfast. I have already done the honours for Egor, but everyone is eager to know the red-haired student.’
Dmitry managed an unconvincing smile because he definitely was not eager to know anyone except for the people he was going to communicate with on a regular basis.
‘Thank you,’ Dmitry said weakly.
‘Find my office tomorrow after dinner, and we shall discuss the logistics of your return. You will also need proper rest, both today and tomorrow. Everyone, dismissed.’
The teachers slowly rose and started making their way to the exit. The temporary room was a small affair, and there was a congestion at the door. Dmitry waited for everyone to leave and caught another furtive look from the young teacher. He made a mental note to avoid the man by all means. Someone had made similar advances to Dmitry before, almost leading to an assault at the uni’s restroom, but Dmitry had been fast and his bag accurate. The perpetrator had been maintaining his distance since then, although just looking at him during lectures and seminars had made Dmitry nauseous. He had been present at the graduation ceremony as well, and that was the last time Dmitry had seen him. He only wished that the pervert had stayed away from schools like many other students did for less incriminating reasons. Dmitry wanted to point out the teacher’s behaviour to the principal after the staff had left, but she got him first.
‘I trust you have met Andrey?’ she asked, her tone strangely soft.
‘Yes,’ Dmitry confirmed, not surprised that the principal was involved in their ‘reunion’. ‘I would ask you where you found him, but it would be pointless.’
‘All in due time, my dear. For now, enjoy your time together, reconnect, and share your musings with each other,’ the principal cooed, making Dmitry suspicious of her ulterior motives.
‘What you said about Egor earlier… Was it about what he and the nurse were doing?’ Dmitry inquired cautiously.
‘Partially, yes. But it was simply the tip of the iceberg, something you should not concern yourself with. Go have some rest and join us for dinner,’ the principal deftly evaded the question.
‘I will,’ Dmitry was surprisingly affirmative.
As he left the room, Dmitry spotted Andrey, who had been loyally waiting for him. The irony of the fact that two different guys had done that for him did not escape Dmitry, and while he appreciated the attention (unlike the unwarranted one from the teacher guy), one wrong word, and Andrey would be gone as well. Dmitry decided to avoid unnecessary drama and kept to himself, giving a short answer here and there on their way back to Dmitry’s room. While they were on the stairs, Andrey offered his help, offending Dmitry.
‘I’m fine. Where did you even get the idea that I need your support?’ Dmitry muttered with annoyance.
‘I saw you. Through the cameras. You didn’t mind HIS support,’ Andrey retorted. ‘And I remember your nickname in the elementary school. They called you Little Leggy like it was funny, but they had no idea about the condition your right foot was born in. Assholes.’
Dmitry blushed at the fact that Andrey remembered and the fact that he had defended him in the past.
‘Yeah. But I’m perfectly healthy now. That’s what the military commissariat said. Except for the mental part, but I still don’t know what exactly went wrong there.’
‘Did they really put you in the asylum?’ Andrey asked carelessly.
‘Where did you… Never mind. Yes, they did, though I had no choice, really. It’s either that or going straight to the barracks after the graduation ceremony. But I maybe I should’ve gone to the army because this isn’t much different,’ Dmitry waved his hand at the surroundings.
‘Dima, you really think that the army is the same as the lyceum? You wouldn’t survive there. No offense, but I know you.’
‘You used to know me,’ Dmitry corrected him, and the conversation quelled.
At the door, Andrey asked Dmitry if he could come in. Dmitry hesitated, but Andrey held the keys to a number of things he had a vested interest in, so he let Andrey enter the room. There was no sign of Egor, which gave Dmitry a semblance of relief because God only knew what he would imagine, although Dmitry tried to convince himself that he cared no longer.
Andrey landed on the chair next to the desk, and Dmitry plunged on the bed. There was a minute of silence, which was followed by two simultaneous callings: “Dima” “Andrey”.
‘You first,’ Dmitry said playfully.
‘I’m sorry. For all those years I was away. I always wanted you to forget me, to find new friends,’ Andrey said earnestly, tugging at something in Dmitry’s heart.
‘Well, it doesn’t work that way,’ Dmitry rebutted bitterly. ‘I tried, Andrey. I was on good terms with some girls until I wasn’t because they started seeing a guy in me. Once I blurted out that I watched Gossip Boy, and the way they looked at me… It’s like I came out or something, which was probably true in some way. And the guys… They didn’t bully me or anything. The Little Leggy stuff stopped in the middle school, fortunately for me. But they never treated me as their equal, not that I minded it much. I could only be an awkward nerd, nothing more.’
Andrey listened to him with a pained expression and a visible desire to interrupt, but he let Dmitry continue pouring his soul out.
‘And the timing of it all. We kissed, and two weeks later you’re gone. As it if it had been the cause of it all. And I believed that. For years I thought that you left because of that kiss and hated myself for it. I hated myself, period. I got over it once I was like 15 because I could finally rationalize that the two events had been pure coincidences, but it was too late. And you said that you didn’t like the kiss, but it was fine. Then suddenly it wasn’t.’
Andrey shifted stiffly on the chair, his dark eyes directed at Dmitry, drilling into him. His lips trembled, his forehead lined with wrinkles as if in deep thought, and then he sighed.
‘Dima, listen, I just didn’t think that the long-distance relationship thing would work. It would be too much for me.’
‘I have tons of online friends, Andrey. Well, not tons anymore after the whole magic thing, but I still care for them. Even if we never meet in our lives. How would that be different? And we could visit each other once we got older, it’s Akadem, not the other side of the planet.’
‘I didn’t say anything about being friends,’ Andrey said sternly, and Dmitry stared at him, his mouth agape.
‘I lied back then. About the kiss. I liked it, but I couldn’t admit that to myself, let alone to you. I didn’t know what to do. And then my mother told me about the move. I hated that I had to leave you, but if it hadn’t spared me from trying to make sense of my feelings, I don’t know what would have happened to us.
Dmitry was still shocked by revelation and struggling to make sense of HIS feelings, but he managed to find the strength for one question.
‘So why did you really delete everything?’ his voice was hoarse.
‘Because I loved you,’ Andrey almost whispered. ‘Yeah, you can’t say things like I love you when you are eleven, and I didn’t realize what it was then. I thought I’d deleted all the social media stuff because I was mad at something, at you, at myself. But years later it hit me. I did that because I couldn’t bear being away from you, and no amount of play-pretend on the Internet would’ve compensated for that.’
The conversation was becoming too much for Dmitry, although it was also helping him to come to terms with the demons who had been gnawing at him. His friend loved him. Someone loved him. It should have made him ecstatic. It did not.
‘You loved me?’ Dmitry managed. ‘In the past tense?’
‘No, no,’ Andrey immediate shook his hands defensively. ‘I still love you. That’s the reason I’m here.’
‘Do you?’ Dmitry smiled wryly, lowering himself onto the hard floor of the room.
‘Dima, I know that I hurt you, and you don’t have to accept my love,’ Andrey said determinedly. ‘But I will be here for you.’
Dmitry positioned himself opposite Andrey, his back slightly touching the uncovered wall.
‘You can’t love me,’ Dmitry said in a hissing voice. ‘You don’t know me.’
‘We’ve known each other since the kindergarten,’ Andrey insisted. ‘Sure, some things must have changed, but you are you. And you are a still a gamer, right?’
‘Yeah, I am,’ Dmitry smirked. ‘A certified Nintendo boy.’
‘But,’ Andrey was slightly taken aback. ‘You used to make fun of their games.’
‘I still do. I don’t care for their popular stuff. But Switch still gets some gems, so.’
‘Okay,’ Andrey was visibly relieved. ‘I never played any of their games, and you know where my allegiances lie, but whatever makes you happy.’
‘Thanks for your permission, Sony boy.’ Dmitry said with distinct sarcasm. ‘What kind of music do I like?’
‘Um, death metal? You used to be obsessed with Cannibal Corpse and that cartoon band,’ Andrey said uncertainly.
‘Yeah, but then I started paying attention to the fuckery they were singing about, and switched to less extreme music. I mainly like Japanese music of the 80s now.’
‘Ah,’ Andrey sounded surprised. ‘Well, I know Plastic Love.’
‘Who doesn’t?’ Dmitry muttered under his breath.
‘Come again?’
Dmitry killed the urge to make another awkward sex joke and embarrass them both and simply asked:
‘What about movies?’
‘I only remember you watching animated stuff and throwing up during every Alien movie,’ Andrey shrugged his shoulders. ‘I never thought you were a connoisseur.’
‘Well, you thought wrong,’ Dmitry said in a wooden voice. ‘They are my passion, but I do highly regard animation, too. Someone has to.’
‘I’m sorry I’m not aware of every single thing you like now, Dima,’ Andrey wince. ‘I still love you.’
‘No, you don’t,’ Dmitry was stubborn. ‘You love that boy you abandoned 10 years ago. But I’m not him anymore. There might be some traces of him in me, but the time has smoothed them into almost nothingness.’
Dmitry did not want to sound poetic, but it was exactly how he felt about Andrey. Occasionally he remembered Andrey had existed, but he was mostly fine with his absence. He did not even blame him for the trauma, for the holes he had left. Dmitry had desperately tried to fill them with studies, movies, random games, and food. He had never touched the parting gift of the PlayStation 3 or its games. He might have started resented anything Sony-related because of that gesture. He had gained weight, but one eating disorder had replaced another once Dmitry had seen the countless examples of what was considered the standard body in the gay community. He had eventually recovered, having chosen to love himself rather than to be loved, although the ultimate result was neither.
‘Tell me, Andrey,’ Dmitry pressed on. ‘What is it that you love about me?’
‘You’re beautiful,’ Andrey answered with no hesitation and leaned closer to Dmitry. ‘You were beautiful then, and you are beautiful now. That hasn’t changed.’
‘How are you different from them, then? You all want the same thing from me,’ Dmitry said, his eyes blazing with fierceness.
‘What are you talking about, Dima? Who are they?’ Andrey asked with concern, slowly raising from the chair.
‘The people who hurt me, Andrey. The people who only wanted me for my body. And you seem to be one of them now,’ Dmitry sputtered, tears welling in his eyes.
‘Dima,’ there was fear in Andrey’s eyes as he stood up and reached his hand towards Dmitry, not yet touching him. ‘When I said beautiful, I didn’t mean… What did they do to you?’
‘You weren’t there. You weren’t with me when it mattered the most. I’d rather be the Little Leggy for the rest of my life than that,’ Dmitry’s voice was both accusatory and faltering.
Andrey stretched his hand further, but Dmitry slapped it with his, making him flinch.
‘Don’t touch me,’ Dmitry said in a raw voice. ‘If you love… If you claim to love me, then you will listen.’
Andrey silently lowered his arms and headed to the door, utterly defeated.
‘Can I at least be your friend again?’ his back asked.
Dmitry considered his offer, he genuinely did. He missed him. Somewhere in the depths of his shattered heart, he loved him, but not in the way Andrey probably wanted. And he needed him to survive the school. And he needed someone to talk about the horrors he had been through, and Ulyana was not the best person to share them with. He had never told her about the uni guy. He had never told her about other guys. He had never had an honest conversation with himself about all of that.
‘Andrey, you barely know me, and I don’t know anything about you at all. I don’t have this delusion that you’re somehow the same person as you were 10 years ago, though I can sense the familiar willingness to protect me. Say what. How about we start from the beginning?’
Dmitry did not know what had compelled him to say that, but he could not think of any other way to fix their torn friendship. And maybe once Andrey learned all the seedy facts of his life, he would drop the stupid notion of loving him.
‘And how do we do that exactly?’ Andrey asked, his breath bated.
‘We talk. We catch up on what we missed. Not that I have much to tell, but I’m sure you have a lot. We rediscover each other, and then decide if it’s even worth it,’ Dmitry laid out the plan with a surprising resolution, as if he had been pondering over it for hours instead of mere minutes.
There was some longing in Andrey’s eyes as he turned his head to glance at Dmitry, but he nodded.
‘If that helps me be with you, so be it,’ he said rigidly. ‘You love that guy, don’t you?’
‘What?’ Dmitry’s mouth was wide open again. ‘I literally met him yesterday. There is no such thing as love at first sight.’
‘And yet he still hurt you,’ Andrey said it as it was – a fact.
‘I don’t want to talk about him… today. Maybe another time,’ Dmitry winced.
‘I don’t want to talk about that scum at all, but you deserve a peace of mind. Oh, speak of the devil,’ Andrey said as he opened the door.
Dmitry took a peak and saw Egor, who was even more dishevelled and distraught than he had been during the earlier outing. His zipper was undone again, and Dmitry immediately understood what had happened. It was a payback, and Andrey walking out of his room only added to the pile of allegations Egor might use against him. The guy grinned darkly at both of them, having made his statement clear, and disappeared into his room.
‘I don’t think I want to talk about him ever again, either,’ Dmitry snarled, the last of his hopes demolished with a thundering crash.
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“It was skeptic indifference and unbelief which enabled the Churches to live such an easy life before the war and to be so content with 'maintaining' their position. But the time will come when unbelief's sterile negation and the apparent tolerance of religion by lazy indifference will have come to an end. Then religion will once again be recognized and attacked from all sides for what it is—the highest concern of man. Then will be an end of the easy life. And with it there will cease the perfunctory frontier-patrol of one's values and ideas, or the airtight, quasi-paralysed self-mummification in the coffin of exclusive organizations and places apart.
Only one alternative will then be valid—either one must gird up one's loins and with open, succouring arms give, present or lavish something on humanity, heal its heart's open wound, or one must be prepared to find that the world, though thirsting feverishly for religion, believes one has nothing to give; to find, even, that one no longer feels oneself wholly in the right or in possession of the true and the good—of, in short, the divine verities. But in the latter case one must also be prepared to find that this catalytic conviction also penetrates one's own ranks, and that the mere policy of 'holding fast'—that gesture of pride and avarice—brings on the destruction of the very things which one wished to preserve. Any positive religion which today fails in the above sense to carry out its spiritual mission, to bear new and living witness to its cause in every way, is most certainly doomed to defeat and decline in the spiritual struggles which we have before us.”
— Max Scheler: On the Eternal in Man
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