#it's not a joke and it does not mean insulted or offended

[ozzgin]

Its been 6 months😭😭 pleaasseeee make a part 2 of the android x human story im beggingggg😭

-H❤️

Yandere! Android x Reader (II)

Featuring your assigned android partner who is not as devoid of humanity as you originally thought.

Content: female reader, AI yandere, mildly NSFW, based on Caves of Steel

[Part 1] | [More original works]

The case had been solved.

Not only that, but you'd managed to prove that human officers were just as efficient as their robot counterparts. The Commissioner was beyond ecstatic, pacing back and forth in his office and finding new ways to praise your detective skills.

"That'll show those Spacers. They think some glorified tin box can match our skill?"

You frowned at his words and glanced to your side, where the android was sitting. He observed the Commissioner with the same polite smile, no hint of disagreement on his features. Was he not insulted? You questioned him once the formal meeting had finished.

"I have no reason to be offended, (Y/N). It is a personal opinion, and thus I have no control over it."

"So you don't mind people disliking robots to such an extent?"

He pondered your statement.

"I would certainly be upset if it was you who harbored the disdain. The beliefs of other humans hold no meaning to me otherwise."

You couldn't tell if he said it out of politeness, or if he actually meant it. Most likely the former, in order to part on good terms. After all, your partnership has reached its completion. He'd return to the Spacer Colony with his report on human customs, and you'd go back to your regular job.

Except he never left. Days later, he was still sipping on his morning coffee, lounging at your table. You fiddled with your cup in contemplation. Was there anything else left to do?

"When are you leaving, actually?"

The pale man raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.

"Is my presence here of such significant disturbance?"

"What? No!" you swiftly exclaimed, stumbling on your words. His lips widened in yet another cheeky grin. He was teasing you again.

"My assignment on Earth is done, thus I should have returned to the Colony already. That's what you're wondering about, yes? I am awaiting a response from my superiors."

"Whether you can go back?"

"No, whether my transfer has been accepted. I have applied to be your permanent partner."

You could feel your cheeks burning with heat. Was it that obvious to the synthetic that you enjoyed his company? Then again, he wouldn't have gone through such motions just for your sake.

"Why did you..." you probed sheepishly. There was no logical reason for him to keep working in a poorer, less advanced environment.

"Because I want to continue spending time with you."

Nonsense. An artificial being wouldn't make its decision based on such mundane, emotional reasons.

"I don't believe you."

"I understand. It is a faulty answer to come out of a machine. Though unlike common AI assistants, we have been invested with the capacity to develop likes and dislikes. Interests. Wants. It helps with variety and individualization."

"And you want to stay here? If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you have a crush on me or something", you attempted to joke.

A few moments of uncomfortable silence. Had you gone too far with your humor? Was it too cliché of a sentence? You turned away, tucking some strands of hair behind your ear. You just had to be witty, huh?

"I'm afraid I do not know what to tell you, (Y/N)."

"You don't need to say anything, it was a poor choice of-"

"Many social aspects have been implemented into my behavioral network. Workplace rapport, friendships, intimate relationships. What seems to be lacking is the transition from one to another. I know how to act as a romantic partner, but how does one achieve such a title in the first place?"

You gazed at him, incredulous. What was he trying to say?

"I am trying to convey that I am indeed infatuated with you. Which, then, makes my initial explanation dishonest: while I do appreciate our fruitful work cooperation, it is not a main reason for my decision. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings."

You'd never been a romantic. You sometimes flipped through sample pages of contemporary romance books at stores and community centers, but they always felt forcefully cheesy. Predictable. Consequently, you never had any grand dreams of passionate confessions under the rain.

On the other hand, you also didn't expect to be asked out in such a mechanical, calculated manner. Or that a machine would be the suitor. Yet there was something charming about his approach. For the first time since meeting him at the border, you saw him struggle. There was something human-like in his uncertainty.

You stood up from the table, and walked towards the android. Then, you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, expressing the mutual feeling and understanding.

His eyes bore an eerie glint to them. It was most kind of you to offer a common ground, but he knew better. The affections you held for him were, with utmost certainty, a mere fraction of whatever overwhelmed him from the moment he encountered you. Limerence, obsession, compulsion, there were many definitions that aptly described his otherwise unexplainable desires towards you. Even more unexplainable was the fact they'd evolved from a blank slate, a programmed agent with no previous knowledge on feelings or humans.

You noticed his hesitation.

"Is there anything else troubling you presently?" you nudged.

Nothing of immediate urgency. Well, not for you, at least. The android remained thoughtful. What were the variables which needed to be met in order to initiate a sexual encounter? Would it have been inappropriate for him to suggest intercourse straight after this conversation? To him, it was a natural escalation he'd considered many times in the past. To you, it could've come as a sudden, crass, and hurried proposal.

He reached for your wrist and discreetly pressed a thumb against your skin. Judging from your resting heart rate, facial expression, and localized temperature, there was a fair chance you wouldn't reject his advances. Once the statistical risk had been assessed, he pulled you in for a kiss.

"Would it be possible to continue this in your bedroom?" he inquired, standing up.

"Alright, just don't...ask for approval for every single step" you retorted. You'd rather not become a narrator of your own pounding.

You open your eyes with a squint, greeted by unexpected natural light flooding your bedroom. Someone must’ve lifted the hologram blinds.

“My apologies, I hadn’t considered the discomfort it would cause you. My Spacer colony uses artificial lightning, though I am becoming rather fond of the natural sun rays here.”

Your android partner is meticulously preparing his outfit for the day. Judging by the stark nakedness and the glistening skin, you suppose he’s had a shower while you were still sleeping. You involuntarily furrow your brows and blush at the sight. He notices your embarrassment. 

“A most surprising reaction. You have seen the very same genital organ…”, he says as he quickly checks his wristwatch, “...precisely eight hours and forty-five minutes ago.”

“It’s just…most people get dressed once they start doing other things. I also wear a towel for coverage when I come out of the shower.”

He processes your words.

“Hmmm. Illogical, but it explains your reaction.”

You stand up and stretch with a prolonged yawn. Suddenly, a revelation hits you: your mind flashes with images of the android fondling your body, your ears ring with the shameless moans you’ve let out throughout the night. Your face turns pale.

“Listen, when is your next functional inspection?” you ask, without waiting for the synthetic to answer. “Will they, uh…will they have access to all of your memories?”

You know that the android permanently records all data and saves it into a memory unit. It’s a pointless fear, of course. The Spacers couldn’t care less about irrelevant details. If the intended tasks are fulfilled, what happens on the side is out of their concern. Yet you don’t exactly appreciate the possibility of your personal deeds airing like this, before the eyes of multiple engineers. 

“You may rest assured, whatever involves your privacy will not be included in the examination.”

“Do you get to decide what is checked and what isn’t?”

“No, most data is sampled randomly.”

You stare at him, confused.

“Then how-”

“It is not common practice, nor encouraged by our code of ethics. I can, however, choose which information is available to begin with.”

“What? I thought you’re fully controlled by whoever created you. If they so desired, couldn’t they open you up and take whatever they require?”

The robot smiles at your assumption and takes a few steps towards you.

“Once an android model is finished, one can no longer modify the processor. Not without compromising everything else with it. It is not a device to be deconstructed, (Y/N).” He taps his temple, then continues: “I am a biocomputer. While most of my parts are mechanical, my processor is a cortical organoid developed in a laboratory. A human brain, if you will.”

Somehow, the discovery fills you with dread. A living organ, encapsulated within a machine. What does that say about consciousness? About self-awareness? The Spacers didn't just tinker with metal scraps and smart computers. They artificially birthed life.

You were always under the impression that your robot companion is closer to the computer you have on your desk. Billions of lines of code within a black box, which then lead to spontaneous, novel interactions with the outside world. To think that at the very core of his functions lies a clump of living cells...

Perhaps you weren't so different, after all. The line between machines and humans is suddenly blurred.

[diagonal-queen]

Uuuuuuh, an idea has just arrive on my mind🤭 you know that boys usually tease girls they like right? I’m really curious how Tachihara and tecchou would do it… (I’m really curious for tecchou😭)

Teasing their crush

♡ pairing: Tecchou Suehiro, Tachihara Michizou, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x fem!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these boys tease the girl that they like (that's you!)?

♡ cw: Swearing, Jouno suffers a lot, Fyodor is toxic as always, mention of suicide, I somehow manage to bring Astarion up here?? (sorry)

note: i know i know. it's been a while, and i apologise. i just have been so so busy. right now i'm in an exhausted trance writing this and i'm certain i'll wake up tomorrow with no recollection of writing it at all. also threw in dazai and fyodor for the sillies i hope you don't miiind~ as always apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Tecchou:

I cannot see him teasing you.

I'm sorry anon but I just can't see him teasing a girl he likes. He would either be generally nice to her, super awkward but still okay, or just come off as cold and aloof. He wouldn't go out of his way to tease a girl or exchange playful banter with her

If he ever tried to tease he would probably just straight up be mean and insult you or something. And then he wouldn't understand why it didn't work

(Jouno is smacking his head against the wall)

Don't worry. If he's gonna cope with his feelings for you he's gonna do it in a way that benefits you i.e. he's just going to be super obvious about it and not even try to hide it

(update: Jouno is still smacking his head against the wall. someone help him)

Like he'll just openly buy you food and presents and tell you he likes you and like hold your hand and shit?? Tecchou is no-nonsense. He wants to date you, he'll let you know.

And it's not like Tecchou's trying any 'techniques' or anything like that. There is not a THOUGHT behind those beautiful eyes; he's just following his heart <3

Tecchou might be a bit dense when it comes to such socially complicated things as courting, but he's a genuine person and wants to make you feel appreciated, and let you know he loves you. He just does it in the only ways he knows how <3

Tachihara:

The opposite of Tecchou

He's such a teaser. He likes to make jokes with and poke fun at his love interests, but sometimes might go a bit too far with it (If he does he genuinely feels super bad and apologises dw T-T)

Like he's one of those kinds of guys who you would get so caught up in the flirty banter with that you just talk for hours

If you're texting you guys are both kicking your legs and squealing in between texts lowkey, like you're secretly such lovesick dorks but you play it so cool

Some kaguya sama love is war type shit you guys have going on

And god forbid you do this in front of other people. They're probably SO uncomfortable. Like oh my god get a room already (this dot point was ghostwritten by Jouno)

As you two get more and more into it, he becomes less tease-flirty and more sweet-flirty. He genuinely compliments you instead of exchanging little jabs and backhanded teases, and it's so CUTE

He also, for some reason, gets more shy instead of less shy. He blushes, he messes with his hair- AUGH he's so cute

In all honesty no matter what way, shape or form Tachihara flirts with you, even if he's awkward and fumbles each time, he's still such a charmer that you can't help but love him anyway. some messy hair and a sweet boyish grin goes a LONG way!

Dazai:

This is what I like to call Egotistical Flirting

He will tease you by telling you how much you love him, how much other women love him, how wonderful of a guy he is and how great of a deal he's constantly offering you. Yes, the 'deal' in question is dinner and a movie double suicide

And of course you roll your eyes and chuckle, and while he pretends that he's all offended that you aren't openly falling for it, he LOVES that. He loves your affectionate sarcasm and he could milk it out of you for days if he had the time

And he doesn't even wait to even learn your name before he immediately goes full on womaniser. He would just approach you like 'Heyyy~' and it's all downhill from there.

Dazai is a man on a MISSION is what I'm saying

He will also tease you by embarrassing you. He just says the most oUT OF POCKET stuff out of nowhere in public?? He absolutely delights in seeing you get all embarrassed and having you swat at him and scold him

(He's a bit of a masochist don't question it)

Naturally, this is generally a facade to hide the fact that he is hopelessly infatuated with you, and kinda scared of commitment. He hopes you'll accept him as he is but just in case... it's easier to put up a nonchalant front.

Don't worry Dazai. you've got nothing to worry about. :)

Fyodor:

Mind games. Mind games. MIND GAMES

And not the good kind!

He will tease you with this neat little trick he uses called psychological warfare. In his experience it's 100% effective

Fyodor is a toxic little shit. He doesn't often really 'tease' so much as 'neg'. He doesn't quite care too much about your esteem as long as he's able to make you like him back.

You guys know this thing called Ascended Astarion? yeah this is basically just that but ✨ Russian ✨

All this being said he actually does feel affection and love towards you, and he DOES care. He just doesn't want you to reject him, so he'll use any trick necessary to prevent that (regardless of general ethics for the most part)

Fyodor is an all rounder. He'll tease, show genuine affection, neg, flirt, stalk, lovebomb...the whole shebang (I'm sure he asked Nikolai for tips, and I'm even more sure Nikolai had MANY)

Fyodor is just so emotionally out of touch when it comes to other people that he genuinely has no idea how to just...flirt, or even really be casual, like a normal person. It would be sad if he wasn't such a motherfucker

Honestly all of you 'I could fix him' girlies would fall hook line and sinker for this (and I'm allowed to say that because I am one of you)

In the end...man, just date Tachihara

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen, @call-me-albie

[zhongrin]

“you’re not going out like that.”

— you say with a pout and a glare.

or, you stop him before going out because of his clothes.

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, xiao, scaramouche, childe, diluc, pantalone

◇ tags ◇ modern!au, fluff, reader is not ‘controlling’ if that’s what you’re afraid of seeing

◇ a/n ◇ can you buy a zhongli irl off amazon or something i'm asking for a friend- /j

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

zhongli raises his eyebrows, questioning ambers seeking an explanation from you.

with a sigh, you stalk towards his side and pinch the thin material of his shirt, berating him nonstop over how the temperature has started to drop outside and how he’ll catch a cold if he doesn’t bundle up.

he lets you drag him back to the bedroom and smiles softly as you rummage through his coats and sweaters, all the while still lecturing him about the importance of his health now that you’re both getting older.

what you don’t know is that he does this purposefully so that you’ll fuss over him. call him whipped, but he adores seeing you care for him like a mother hen; he may trust your love in all its entirety, but he certainly doesn’t mind getting a reminder of it every now and then.

it’s the same reason why he leaves his tie a little crooked every morning: just so you could scold him for how he’s gotten lousy ever since you both got married. he would always chuckle and apologize, but inwardly he just can’t help it; surely all husbands want to be spoiled by their lovely spouse?

childe giggles and winks towards you before gesturing to his outfit with a flair as if he’s in a fashion show model which to be fair he kinda looks the part.

“awh, why not? don’t you want to show off how good this boyfriend of yours look?”

“you mean announce to the whole world that i’m dating a fuckboy? no thanks.”

the brunette pouts at the half-serious, half-joking expression on your face and positions his hands on his hips like a petulant child(e), “oh, i’m sorry that i’m hot and i’m unashamed of it! besides, what can they do? grope me?”

you roll your eyes and slip your hands through the wide gap by the sides of his clothes to grab onto his chest.

childe freezes like deer in headlights, but regains his composure quickly; in a blink, he gives you a playful grin, but before he can utter anything scandalous, you pull him into a kiss and uses the element of surprise to steal his breath away.

and when your boyfriend ends up sprawled under you on the couch fifteen minutes later, you don’t miss the winning smile and happy wrinkle of skin spread across his freckled cheeks.

honestly, he could’ve just told you (you know, like a normal person) if he didn’t actually want to go out, instead of always pulling stunts like this.

kunikuzushi stares at you with half his mouth open, clearly surprised and offended at your statement and the insults you blatantly threw his way right after.

what do you mean he looks like a sleazebag? sure, it’s a hoodie from yesterday(’s yesterday), but it looks fine! it smells bearable! it’s comfy! he’s too lazy to change out of it! not when it’s just a trip down to the nearby cafe!

archons, he’s just a common engineer who builds robots, not some high-strung profile in some fancy mafia organization… is what he insists, and he continues to groan and bemoans his fate even as you brought a change of clothes for him.

he might as well be a cat with how he bristles at your threat of running a bath for him, but he quietens when you double the threat with an offer to ‘scrub his poor scalp clean’.

“….. do it then,” he challenges, crossing his arms like a true brat™️, although his eyes are shining with excitement.

you two end up getting takeouts that night.

xiao pauses from putting on his watch and looks at you quizzically.

why would a dress shirt and slacks be an unacceptable fashion choice? last he checked, you were both just going to visit that favorite restaurant of yours.

the man blinks owlishly at the adorable way you stomp your feet and points to the accessories you’re wearing. he cracks a momentary smile when he recognizes them as the ones he bought for you last week; it’s just as he imagined, they look lovely on you. however, the said quirk of his lips disappears as you tell him that he’s forgotten to wear his matching ones even though he had promised to.

“ah,” he scratches his cheek, “i forgot… tsk, alright, alright, i’ll go change. this outfit won’t work with those colors, let me just-”

you end up late to your reservation and were unable to get a table, but seeing the content smile on your pretty lips when you saw the ‘date night!’ selfie you took on the fast food parking lot in his car, he thinks it’s all worth it.

your smile is always worth it.

“why not-”

“you’re a fashion disaster!”

diluc freezes and honestly if it was anyone else he would have ignored them and stormed off in embarrassment.

but this was you. you matter. your opinions matter. he doesn’t want to embarrass you.

“is… is it that bad?” he asks with a blush on his face as you throw his old coat onto the bed and unbuttons the plain shirt he always defaults to wearing.

your rich but struggling-with-fashion boyfriend watches and listens, as silent as a timid bunny, as you tell him the latest trend and the ‘boyfriend look’ or whatever it was called. he's just helplessly nodding and obeying as you hand him the change of clothes, hoping that will lessen the frown between your brows.

“is this a… bracelet?”

“it’s a choker, luc.”

“but they’re so short.”

“it’s supposed to rest around your throat, dear.”

“oh.”

he’s not sure whether he looks okay or not, but judging from adelinde’s messages bombarding his phone that night, gushing about how proud she is to ‘see that the young master has grown to be able to comprehend fashion trends’ after seeing your instagram stories, he thinks he should just ask you to pick his clothes from now own.

when you tell him he looks like he’s about to brave the cold of the mountains in dragonspine, pantalone hums and tilts his head in thought.

perhaps the coat was too much, he agrees as he discards the thick materials. but you huff and press him to remove his gloves and overcoat, and while he understands that he might have gone overboard in dressing up, given how he’s used to the biting cold of snezhnaya’s freezing climates, he can’t help but smirk at the way you’re hurriedly unbuttoning his clothes.

“my, you look quite desperate for me, sweetheart. are you sure you wish to go out tonight? if you'd like, i can always tell them to send the chef over so we can-”

he chuckles when you hit his chest playfully and lets you modify his clothing as you see fit.

well, no matter. if he gets cold he can always buy a coat outside….

... he still ends up sweating like crazy and he does not understand how you can be perfectly fine in this horrendous heat.

calm down pantalone it’s only like 34 degrees celcius.

© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @nachotrash

[staryuee]

Hii friend <3

I dont know really know if requests are still open but i wanted to ask if you could do any genshin characters with a rude s/o?

If not you're always aloud to delete the request :)

HOW YOU MAD AT ME, ‘CUZ I’M CUNT, BITCH?

꒰warnings꒱ cursing…obviously LOL

⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . you wouldn’t call yourself rude just…”free-spirited” and liberal in your word choices~! ^_−☆

⠀꒲ ` characters . . . eula, xiao, thoma, ei, furina, navia, wriothesley

⠀꒲ ` notes . . . if i had a victorian era shilling for the amount of times my friend has called me rude after i’ve made a comment about something i would be the next ebenezer scrooge (⊙_⊙)

EULA — 优菈

now while eula would normally abhor at the foul language and insults that so easily spew from your precious lips, she actually can’t help but be oddly bemused.

i mean her expectations for linguistics are awfully high, one mustn’t speak with little eloquence but your brashness was oddly…charming, and refreshing in a way. you weren’t afraid to offend people, and simply enjoyed the motto of “i won’t apologise for what i said, i’ll apologise for how it made you feel.”

eula is of course someone who’s treated like the poster-woman for the concept of rudeness given her past and current feigned ego, so honestly you sort of make her feel better about herself — not in a negative way, in the way that she just simply doesn’t feel that lonely anymore.

if anyone has so much as a word to speak against you due to something you’ve said, they can speak to her first. the entirety of teyvat is allowed to shudder if she so much as so breathes, but when it comes to you? vengeance will be severed with a side of wine.

XIAO — 魈

stop. please. xiao is already overwhelmed enough by the varieties of his duties, all his patrolling — and now he has to make sure his lover isn’t in an argument with someone or being threatened to literal death.

he frankly doesn’t really care about the way you speak, sure it’s surprising at first since the majority of people in liyue hold themselves in a way that seems a bit more…calm, but then again sometimes that within itself can be seen as a rude attempt at pacification of genuine feelings.

you’ve never been mean or rude to him, directly at least, so he literally doesn’t care how brutal or venomous your words are, so long as you don’t get yourself in too much trouble. people haven’t seen the yaksha so an edge whenever a person opens their mouth since, well, ever.

he’s never brought up your attitude or personality; he loves you wholly, even if some parts of you are a bit more prickly than rosy.

THOMA — 托马

“haha, they were just joking!” you ticked off another five on your little notepad with a careful swoosh of your pen.

thoma has had to repeat that very phrase so much to the point you’ve been keeping a safe tally on a notepad of whenever he says it. to be honest, you don’t even believe five can be multiplied this many times…

your rudeness and foul language comes as an innate package, and thoma has no problem in neatly tying that package up with a little bow to placate whoever you managed to horribly offend that day. you fear that one day, if thoma isn’t there, you’ll find yourself being interrogated by kujo sara, maybe in a more lucky scenario heizou, herself.

“thoma can you do this f—“

“no.”

“i— wasn’t asking you??”

“you didn’t need to, now fuck off (๑･̑◡･̑๑). don’t be incompetent and you wouldn’t have to ask someone else to constantly do shit for you.”

RAIDEN EI — 影

if not directed to herself directly, she finds you absolutely amusing. she literally cannot be a spokesperson against rudeness after her uhum many self-made and self-fulfilled tragedies, plus she herself can be rather verbally off putting therefore, she has little problems with how you address others.

she does, however, keep a very keen eye on you to make sure you don’t stir up trouble with the wrong crowd.

but, hey! the great thing about dating a highly revered archon is the fact literally no-one will speak out against you.

“[name] told me to kill myself when i said hi in the morning…” and guess what? all of a sudden they have a long voyage to the fiery volcanoes of natlan planned out. criticism is only allowed if it’s aimed at her, not you — you’re basically an extension of her, if anyone so much so demeans you because of your attitude, it’s almost like they’re disrespecting the electro archon herself.

that’s a crime the citizens of inazuma have long learned the lesson of.

FURINA — 芙宁娜

she loves you purely for the theatrics and dramatics you always managed to find yourself in. it always seems like drama follows you wherever you simply step — and hey, she’s an actress, it’s no wonder she’s so easily charmed and swayed with the way your voice rings out blunt responses like it were second nature.

and to be fair, she’s a massive instigator of conflict. on the sidelines of course. so when you perhaps “accidentally” rub someone the wrong way, she can’t help but use sarcasm to throw fuel into the fire and watch the hellish flames burn as she kicks back with a cup of tea and a slice of cake (you know, like a true mirror to marie antoinette)

i think your duo would be even funnier and more undoubtedly chaotic if you have british humour and or slang equipped because let’s be so real if this was modern furina would force neuvillette to act like her roadman guard-dog while she sold 50p sweets during break time to the year 8s. throw in a little “yute” or “op” and she has heart eyes all over you (i promise this is all for the sake of comedy…)

NAVIA — 娜维娅

the best part of being in a relationship is being able to chat shit about anyone and everything, because well, you’re each-other’s everything already, why rely on the kindness of strangers for validation?

you and navia do the thing where you’ll subconsciously glance at each-other from the corners of your eyes when someone (or people) say some dumb silly shit. the problem being, neither of you can keep quiet and immediately will begin giggling and will make it inevitably worse by whispering to one another “stop!” and “don’t laugh—“ while holding your mouths to stifle yourselves.

this leads to people being rather nervous to speak to navia when you’re around. usually, navia is very friendly and softly spoken; often she’ll be a rather happy-go-lucky and caring girl who smiles no matter what — of course this doesn’t mean she’ll allow people to walk all over her, but hey she believes in second chances — but when you’re around…people will loiter around creepily before gathering the courage to ask for help or whatever they need.

navia is at heart however, a very loving and respectful person so she will remind you of when you’ve stepped out of line. sometimes rudeness is just an innate quality that people have and it’s sometimes not intended out of malice; even petty things like lateness or speaking out of turn counts as “rudeness”, and navia is here to either make excuses up for you or to defend you from criticism ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

WRIOTHESLEY — 莱欧斯利

oh he absolutely eats this shit up. every argument, insult, fight etcetera you’ve ever had is kept in a personal file somewhere in his cabinet just for memories sake. wriothesley’s life is already quite dramatic and hectic as it can be, the fortress of meropide could honestly sometimes be described as a form of circus within itself especially if you’re involved, but he revels in your antics nonetheless.

you’re literally so fucking hilarious, each time he hears those heavy doors heave open beneath him he just KNOWS shit has gone down and you’re about to dramatise it for him live.

you best believe he’s an instigator the same way furina is; whispering to you and then giggling when you use his encouragement as some sort of reference while you practically spit venom at the person who’s unfortunately become your centre of focus.

he won’t allow you to stir up too much trouble in the fortress of meropide but being his partner you get the perk of not getting into nearly as much trouble as you would if you were one of the criminals down in the fortress (unless you are then…well you’re special so it doesn’t matter!)

©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Everything about Jamie getting Roy his gift is fucking me up.

I mean, the fact that he did it at all? From failing to bring a Secret Santa gift because he didn’t know that he had to, to putting all this time and effort into finding the perfect present for Roy, all because some random girl invited him to a made-up holiday and oh, you have to bring him a gift as well?

The black on black on black wrapping. Not what Jamie would go for personally, but this isn’t for Jamie, is it, this is for Roy, and so he wraps it accordingly.

How he starts to explain the gift before Roy has even finished opening it. He is just so fucking nervous that Roy won’t get it.

And then, finally and fucking heartbreakingly, there’s the way his face starts to fall as Roy just stares at him without saying anything after Jamie explains how he got them to change the ‘e’ for an ‘u’, because Jamie certainly didn’t mean this as an insult; it is a joke but the joke’s not on Roy, it’s between them but what if Roy doesn’t like it? What if he’s actually offended? (Sublime acting there from Phil Dunster, but what else is new.)

Only Roy does like it. Loves it. And Jamie’s smile is relieved is pleased is shy is yeah fucking nailed it.

[impishjesters]

hiii! Could I just say that I absolutely love your writing and they way you describe jax? I love your writing style as well. So-

Could you write a jax x reader where the reader is very sensitive and prone to crying? Like they have a super loud and bold personality, kind of like jax, so you'd think a few mean words wouldn't affect them right? Wrong. They're actually super sensitive and can cry easily. Like maybe if jax were to get into a fight with reader and maybe takes it too far?

warnings(s): Jax, insults/name calling, nondescriptive arguments, angst (I tried to balance it out with some fluff in the second half) note(s): Jax is a noticeable ass in the first half of this, honestly Jax is his own warning A/N: I truthfully believe that his reaction would heavily depend on whether the two of you were just two people trapped here vs in a relationship of some sort. I don't want to post him being only an asshole, so I included his response/reactions if you were his s/o as well. (Also thank you for the kind words! 💜)

As two people trapped in the digital hellscape together

It doesn’t take you long to learn Jax’s disregard for the emotions of others. His blatant disregard for Gangle’s tears and Pomni’s little panic attacks that he only eggs on are proof enough.

Jax would’ve never suspected you to be sensitive given your loud and bold personality, he’s never noticed the subtle change in your posture or behavior when you get insultingly clumped in with the rest—or if he did notice, he never said anything.

A fight with Jax is a one-sided fight, he’ll throw some backhanded question about why you were suddenly being a crybaby, an unfunny joke about how you must’ve taken Gangle’s tragedy mask when he wasn’t looking.

“Look it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t know why you’re getting all bent out of shape.”

Jax is an ass through and through, he’s not trying to gaslight you into believing you’re crying over nothing, he genuinely believes you’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s just words.

As his s/o

Again you are aware of just what kind of person Jax is—that said you are given some leniency to his awful behavior, unlike the others you have a special place in his chest cavity

As mentioned above he never really suspected you to be sensitive, though he can sort of piece two and two together when your behavior changes or if you just up and outright walk away.

Seeing your eyes water is definitely an indicator that what was said may have offended you in some manner.

Jax isn’t good with this sort of stuff, does he approach you and ask about it? Or does he just ignore it and let you come to him?

Ah, fuck…

It’s not that he doesn’t care that he upset you, but he’s just a tad confused about why you are suddenly upset.

The whole thing gets even messier when the two of you get into a fight. To him, this “fight” isn’t a big deal, when you mention that it’s something he said callously, he’s reminded of the times you walked away seemingly upset.

It takes him a few minutes to compose his thoughts and word himself carefully enough to avoid making the situation any worse, it’s one of the rare times you’ll get him to be more genuine and serious to work this out.

Afterward, he makes the effort to remember not to say or do certain things that particularly upset you. Though it’s tough, sometimes that shit just comes out with no filter, and whoops there he goes saying the thing he told himself he wasn’t going to say with you around.

None of it is ever directly aimed at you though, he can do that much at least.

On the occasion that something minor slips he’ll apologize later on, sigh, and give you a hug. Hugs don’t fix everything but they do get you to stop crying. (This is usually only during cases where you get choked up levels of sensitivity, like, a dog in a movie died and that’s a sad kind of sensitivity.)

On the topic of crying, Jax playfully (genuine) pokes fun at you when you cry over something minuscule. He’ll tease and ask if it’s a hobby crying over the little things—again not maliciously, if anything it’s kinda cute. (You are allowed to take a smack at him if his teasing is too much, he probably deserves it.)

[drvirgus]

Mute!

Non-Idol! Hanni X Mute! Reader

Description: Life as a mute girl in university: How does Y/n navigate her life, especially when she has to work on a project with her crush, one of the popular kids on campus? Can Y/n find a way to express her feelings?

Warnings: Trauma; strong language; kys/kms jokes; insults; bad family 😔 (kind of abuse?)

A/n: I’m not mute or met any mute person in my whole life. I do not want to offend any person with my story. It would be nice if you (if you’re mute or know a person that’s mute) could write me if I did something wrong or share your experience to make this story much more believable.

Chapter: Coffee & Food (Fully-Written)

Masterlist

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With my tablet in hand, I slowly made my way into the cafe and immediately took a seat at one of the tables. I placed the tablet on the table, grabbed the stylus Pen, and wrote a quick "Hey, you’re here :)" on the screen.

Nervously, I glanced around the cafe, the fact that I was meeting Pham Hanni hitting me all at once. My mouth was slightly open as I licked my somewhat dry lips. I saw people of all ages sitting at the tables, eating or drinking. Surprisingly, it was louder here than one might expect.

"Hey. Did I keep you waiting long? I hope not," I heard from behind me, and saw Hanni, who now sat down right in front of me with a slightly worried look. I smiled and shook my head immediately. My eyes glanced at the clock. We were both early...

I turned the tablet towards her and could see her forehead wrinkle as she suddenly realized what the words on the tablet said. A nervous laugh escaped her throat as she scratched the back of her head a bit, "Oh man. I forgot... I’m sorry," she said, clearly embarrassed, which I waved away with my hand again, a small smile on my face.

I held up one of my fingers to indicate that she should wait a moment, which she nodded to immediately. My hand grasped the stylus as I deleted the previous words to write something new, "Sorry. We don’t really have to meet if it makes you uncomfortable. I can just send you the stuff via email and we can chat online. But I still want to treat you to a coffee since you came," I wrote on the tablet, feeling my lips silently form each word as I wrote.

Hanni, who was just taking off her jacket and throwing it over the chair next to us while I wrote everything down, read the words on the tablet. Every millisecond that passed, her forehead wrinkled more, and she firmly hummed a "no." "It’s not uncomfortable for me. To be honest, I was really looking forward to this. Plus, I’m going to treat you to a coffee since I wanted this meeting in the first place, and I won’t take no for an answer," she said seriously, but the gentle smile on her face made me relax.

"Oh, but if it’s uncomfortable for you to be here with me and you’d rather write, that’s okay. I mean, I’d be a bit hurt because I was really looking forward to meeting you, but, yeah. I mean, if you’d rather let me know—no, I mean—write it down?" the younger girl said, a bit more awkwardly now. She gesticulated wildly with her hands, nodding or shaking her head frequently.

A squeak escaped my mouth as I started to laugh. I immediately covered my mouth with my hand. I just had to laugh. Hanni looked really cute when she was nervous...

I shook my head and turned the tablet back to me to respond right away, "It’s not uncomfortable for me. You’re really Cute. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I think the more you know, the better you’ll handle it," I wrote and watched as Hanni’s eyes skimmed over each word, she paused briefly but then immediately relaxed again, and a broader smile spread across her face as she nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I’ve never met a mute person before, so you’ll have to help me out here," Hanni said, embarrassed, as she started to laugh a bit. Her eyes were fixed on me as I simply nodded. Hanni's smile didn’t leave her face for a moment, even as I saw her expression visibly relax and she leaned forward more.

But before she could say anything else, a waitress approached us. She was chewing gum as she looked back and forth between Hanni and me. "Good afternoon and welcome to JYP Cafe. What can I get for you today?" the waitress said, sounding a bit bored. She had a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other, just waiting for our response.

Hanni immediately looked up at the much taller waitress and smiled politely. "I’ll have a hot cocoa with some whipped cream on top," Hanni said, and I saw the waitress jot down the order. "And what would you like?" Hanni asked, her eyes once again focusing on me. Her hands were folded on the table as she smiled at me.

I turned the tablet towards me again and started deleting the previous words to write something new, "I’d like a coff—," I began to type when I heard an irritated sigh from the waitress. "Miss, I’m standing here asking for your order! You really shouldn’t be playing with your tablet right now," the much taller woman said, rolling her eyes.

My jaw clenched automatically, but I still smiled politely as I simply pointed to my mouth and then made an X with my index fingers. But before the waitress, whose eyes widened, could say anything, Hanni's voice rang out.

Her normally high and friendly voice was now lower and much angrier. "You’re being quite rude, you know that? That’s not how you speak to a customer. Apologize immediately," Hanni said, her previously smiling face now wearing an angry expression.

My mouth opened in surprise as my eyebrows raised. I saw the waitress now looking at Hanni. "I’m sorry. I didn’t know she couldn’t speak and thought—" the waitress began, but Hanni interrupted her with a shake of her head. "Why are you apologizing to me? You should apologize to her!" Hanni said, clearly irritated. Even her jaw was tense.

I quickly wrote on the tablet, "The same order," but the waitress apologized guiltily and even bowed slightly. My face turned red, and I shook my hands in front of me, embarrassed. The nervousness was evident on my face as I visibly tried to say something, but it didn’t work. Not a single sound came out of my mouth.

Not even a simple "It's okay..."

I immediately turned the tablet towards the waitress, and she nodded her head and wrote it down on her small notepad before leaving with another apology.

A sigh escaped Hanni's lips as she leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. Her angry expression softened a bit, but it was still visible on her face. "I can't believe how rude people can be. Does this happen to you often? I hope not. People can’t really be that rude, can they? Not even having enough patience for something like this? I mean, it’s her job. How can she treat a customer like that?" I heard Hanni say as she ranted.

A small smile formed on my face as Hanni leaned forward again and looked at me with concern. "Are you okay? You’ve turned pretty red. We can leave if you want," Hanni said, watching me as I shook my head.

"Thank you. For that... and yes, it happens more often than I’d like, since there aren't many people like me. But back to the questions. Do you have any?"

Hanni sighed, and I noticed her face relaxing. "I’m sorry. I’m still a bit mad... I can’t calm down quickly... but... I’ll ask a few questions now, okay?" she asked, and I deleted the words, ready to answer her questions. I nodded, and Hanni smiled immediately.

"Can you make any sounds? I heard you laugh, and a pretty cute sound came out," Hanni said, which made me blush even more. I gestured with my hand for her to ask more questions while I wrote down the answer to that one.

"How long have you been mute? Do you see a doctor? Can it get better?" she asked, clearly curious. A smile formed on my face as I wrote down each of my answers. I saw Hanni reading them.

"I can make sounds, like screaming or laughing. Those are sounds I can’t control, so they just come out. But if I want to consciously make a sound, I can’t. I’ve been mute for 11 years, but I don't really want to say why. I don’t see a doctor, but I do see a psychologist in the hope that it will get better."

Hanni hummed in interest and nodded. The drinks arrived, and with another quiet apology from the waitress, she left. Hanni bit her lower lip. "What about... ordering? Or relationships? Phone calls?" Hanni asked, visibly curious as she sipped her cocoa.

"Careful. Let it cool down a bit. It’s pretty hot," Hanni said with a light laugh as she placed the cup back on the table. I nodded in thanks and quickly wrote my answers.

"Usually, Yuna or Felix order for me. Otherwise, I just point to what I want on the menu or write it down. But that only works with patient waiters. Phone calls stress me out, and I can’t even hum. I only use FaceTime so I can show my tablet. Relationships? Well, friendships work, and I think a romantic relationship would work too if the person is patient. But I’ve never had a relationship, to be honest."

Hanni's mouth twitched into a brief smile as she looked at me and nodded. "I've been in a few relationships, but I’ve never been in love. I honestly don’t know why. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it, but I always felt uncomfortable in a relationship, even if the person was nice," Hanni began, her brow furrowing as she sighed. "But to be honest, I don’t really want to fall in love. Have you ever been in love?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

I shook my head immediately. "I’ve had a few crushes. But I’ve never been in love."

Hanni exhaled in relief, but her brow furrowed even more as she looked at her folded hands on the table with a questioning expression. Confused by her look, I wrote a few question marks and showed them to Hanni. Embarrassed, she started to laugh. "Oh, it’s nothing," she replied.

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A few hours later, with empty cups in front of us, I couldn't help but laugh. Hanni had been talking non-stop, constantly asking for my opinion, regardless of whether she had to wait for my response or not. My entire body relaxed as I noticed the time and my eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Hanni noticed the change in my expression and also glanced at the clock. She laughed, a bit embarrassed. "Oh, I didn't realize that hours had passed," she said, which immediately made me smile. I began to write on my tablet, "We should head ho—" "Do you want to get something to eat?"

Surprised, I looked at the woman in front of me who was smiling. Without showing any other expression, I deleted what I had written and nodded. Hanni cheerfully stood up, put on her jacket, and signaled for me to stay seated. "I'll call a taxi," Hanni said, smiling, as she sat back down.

Amazed, I watched her for a while. "Minji, hey. Pick me and Y/n up. We want to get something to eat," I heard Hanni say, and my mouth opened in surprise. I quickly wrote on my tablet, "Minji? I thought you were calling a taxi?"

Hanni glanced at my written words and laughed. "She lost a bet and is my personal chauffeur for the whole year," Hanni explained, and I nodded in understanding, shaking my head in amusement. After a short while, Hanni hung up.

"She’s on her way," said the equally tall woman, which made me nod. We slowly made our way outside together. With my tablet in my hands, I followed Hanni outside. "I’m really hungry. What exactly do you want to eat? We can have whatever you like," Hanni said with a smile as she turned to me. I quickly opened my tablet again to write my response.

"Anything is fine. You can decide. Just no fish."

A honk interrupted Hanni's nodding, and we both looked towards the car parked right in front of us. Smiling, Hanni grabbed my wrist and pulled me along. She opened the door and let me in first before walking around the car and getting in herself, even though I could have just scooted over...

My eyes widened as I realized we hadn’t discussed the reason for our meeting. I immediately opened my tablet and pulled up my notes for the project’s story. I handed the tablet to the woman next to me, who was just thanking Minji for picking us up. I smiled and nodded gratefully at the driver.

"What’s this?" Hanni asked as she took the tablet. "Oh, right," she murmured with a light laugh as she started to read the few notes. My eyes were fixed on her as I noticed how focused she was. Without thinking, I grabbed my phone and snapped a few photos of her.

I heard Minji start to laugh, making me feel a bit caught. Blushing, I quickly put my phone away. "We're here," Minji said as she stopped in front of the restaurant. Hanni looked up from my tablet and glanced around. "Is this okay?" she asked me, and I nodded.

"Thanks, bro. See you later," Hanni said, giving Minji a light pat on the shoulder, while Minji just waved her hand dismissively. I held onto Hanni’s arm and gestured towards Minji, making an eating motion. Hanni's mouth opened, and she looked at Minji briefly before turning back to me.

A dissatisfied sigh escaped her. "You want Minji to join us?" Hanni asked, and I nodded slightly. Since Hanni still had my tablet, I couldn’t form any words. Hanni sighed again. "Yo, want to eat? Y/n wants you to join us," I heard Hanni say, and almost immediately, Minji looked at me in surprise. She pointed at herself questioningly, which made me smile and nod.

"Oh, uh... SURE," Minji suddenly shouted, which made me flinch a bit. "Chill. She’s not deaf," Hanni said, more annoyed. She got out of the car with a tense jaw, and I followed suit.

Somehow... Hanni seemed annoyed...

I looked questioningly at Hanni, who was still holding my tablet. She was pouting slightly as she kicked one of the small pebbles on the sidewalk. I tapped her arm, and she immediately looked at me. I pointed at my tablet, so she handed it back to me right away.

Curious, Hanni watched as I wrote, "Was it a mistake to ask Minji? You seem unhappy about it..."

Hanni's eyes widened, and I noticed a slight blush on her ears. "Oh no. I, uh, I’m not unhappy about it. I just thought—I thought, uh, I thought we were going to talk about the project?" Hanni responded, sounding more nervous than before as she began to smile.

I furrowed my brow slightly. "Minji is also on our team?"

Hanni read the words and laughed a bit, visibly relaxing as she met my eyes. "Uh, yeah—oh, there's Minji," she said quickly, drawing my attention to the taller woman who had parked the car and was now walking towards us.

I decided to leave it at that and just smiled. Together, we entered the restaurant.

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With a smile on my face, I looked at Minji and then at Hanni. The latter sat right next to me, while Minji sat across from me. Hanni was talking non-stop again, and both Minji and I were just listening. Occasionally, Minji would make a comment or try to join the conversation, but Hanni kept her gaze on me the entire time, her body turned towards me.

She patiently waited for me to finish writing and then read my questions or answers aloud. Even Minji had asked me a few questions. Although she seemed more nervous than Hanni, she was also quite patient, which helped me relax significantly.

Hanni leaned closer as we looked at the menu that the waiter had handed us earlier. Minji grinned as she watched us for a while, though I didn’t notice it. I was too engrossed in the warmth and the voice of the woman beside me.

"What if I get this," Hanni suggested, pointing to a dish, "and you get that?" She pointed to another dish. "Then we could share?" she concluded.

Surprised, my eyes widened, and my smile grew even broader. Excitedly, I nodded my head vigorously, which made Hanni chuckle a bit.

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Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa @somedaydream @wonyoungssi @gtfoiydlyj

[anime-fan-05]

Haikyuu!! ~With a short reader 2nd part~

1st part is here.

Oikawa T.

He loves hugging you because he really likes the feeling of you in your arms, and especially your head resting on his chest

In fact, if you don't hug him in the morning in front of school, at lunch when you two meet to eat together and after his training (you often have to take him away from the gym) to go home together, he'll complain about not having received the right amount of affection from you (Iwa will hit him at least ten times due to that)

Sometimes he teases you a lot little because he enjoys seeing your pouty face: "(Y/N)-chan, do you mind if I rest my arm here? It's so tired from training." "Tooru, get your gross, sweaty arm off my head!" "But it's the perfect armrest!" "..." "Awwww, (Y/N)-chan, are you pouting? How cute!"

Despite that, although he never misses an opportunity to make you angry about your height, he still does everything he can to make you feel appreciated: he knows when to stop with the teasing and when to compliment you, even for the most seemingly banal things

Furthermore, if a fan mentions something involving your height negatively, he won't hesitate to confront her

Kuroo T.

His teasing (because, come on, we know he certainly does them) are... particular: seriously, sometimes he can be a huge pain, but he's always able to bring a smile to your face ("Here it's." "Why did you bring me milk? I asked you for a bottle of water." "So maybe you grow a little and can at least reach Yaku in height.")

His favorite thing to do is grab you by your waist, hold you up and spin you around, especially after he wins a game or when you see each other again after a long time; he doesn't care who is watching you (his entire team, who will make fun of him forever), because all he's focused on at that moment is the lovely smile stitched on your face

If you start playing with his hands, he'll be wide-eyed, wanting to scream about how adorable you're; nevertheless he won't do so, thinking your or his neighbors won't appreciate it

In addition, his heart will be going crazy in his chest: you've no right to be so pretty, he'll think; he'll pout when you let go of his hands

If you wear his jersey during his games, no ball will go past his blocks; after the match, which will have ended with Nekoma's victory, though, he'll become a little arrogant: "Oh? What are you wearing, chibi?"

Haiba L.

You two make a so cute couple!

You've something like fifty centimeters of difference, but he doesn't care it anyway: he's very direct, and he always lets you know you look super cute for him

Anyhow, since he's so direct and frank, he's sometimes a little insensitive without meaning to, and he may say things to you that can offend you; when that happens, after realizing you're hurt, he begs you to forgive him, even if you two are in public, and he continues until you say you forgive him ("(Y/N)-chaaaaaaaan, forgive me, pleaseeeeee!" "Lev, get up, everyone is watching us!" "Forgive meeeeeeeee!" "Okay, okay, I forgive you, just get up..." "Yay! Let's go to the bar!")

When you two hold your hands, he's the one comparing them: he intertwines them with his and plays with your fingers; "Your hands are so tiny compared to mine" is one of his most common phrases

Your way of hugging is very cute: when you two are standing, you're hugging him from behind literally like a koala, and it's funny because you're so tiny against him; when you two are sitting, instead, you really look like a child compared to him, since you're like a ball on his lap

Tendou S.

He's absolutely not making fun of you, not even as a joke: since he was insulted by other children as a child, he doesn't want you to feel as bad as he felt

If someone makes fun of you, he'll protect you: "So you think you can make fun of my darling like that?" "N-no... I was just saying she's shorter than most people here in Shiratorizawa... T-that's all." "Yes, and I think you-" "Satori." "Yes, beauty?" "No." "..." "Satori." "Yes..."

His typical nicknames for you have to do with beauty ("beauty", "beautiful", "my pretty one", "my pretty girl", "cutie"...); the reason is because he thinks you're really too beautiful: he loves your height, and he thinks you're perfect for him

Speaking of affection, he doesn't mind if he has to bend down to kiss you, but for a long time he proposed you stand on a stool to kiss, and the crazy thing is he even bought it for you!

Besides, I think he's both a small and big spoon: indeed, sometimes he just wants to be held by you (when it happens, it's very funny to see your position due to your height), other times he wants to wrap his arms around you

Goshiki T.

You two met when you showed up at Shiratorizawa's gym as a manager; when he saw you, he started blushing madly, because all he could think about was how adorable you were ("I-I'm G-G-Go... MY NAME IS GOSHIKI TSUTOMU, NICE TO MEET YOU!")

He's so protective of you! He knows very well how adorable you're and how you can appear naive due to your height: in fact, does someone insult you for your height? He'll come to your rescue by listing all the reasons why you're lovely. Is anyone hitting on you? He'll stand in front of you, scaring, or rather trying to scare, them

The best way to cheer him on during his games is to wear his team jersey: the boost of self-esteem he'll receive thanks to your action will be enormous!

In fact, he loves, loves seeing you wear his clothes: they fit huge on you and make you really cute; he would really like to show the whole world how beautiful you look when you've on them

Moreover, if you hug him from behind, he dies of embarrassment because he feels your face against his lower back and your little arms wrapped around him

Miya A.

He also loves to tease you in a playful way: his favorite actions are not bending over when you want to kiss him (so you've either to jump or to "climb" on him), messing up your hair and calling you "shorty"

When you get pouty due to his teasing, he can't help but smile and coo at you because he thinks you're very adorable (his mind only thinks this: awwww, (Y/N) is pouting, she's so, so, so, so, so, so lovely!); if he made you very angry, he would stop immediately and give you an awkward kiss on your cheek (that's his way of apologizing)

If someone makes his same teasing about you, though, he'll make everyone apologize: do you know how he scolded the girls who disturbed his first serve during the match against Karasuno? Here, he'll treat them like that

He loves bragging about you two to his brother (he often gets slapped or objects thrown at his head because of it): "Samu, look how cute my little girl is!" "Don't flaunt my photos around, Tsumu!" "Get out of my way, Atsumu!"

He likes a lot giving you kisses on the forehead, even if he has to bend down quite a bit to do so

💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮

[filthyslashertoad]

I've been wanting to see headcanons with Hannibal Lecter, Poly! Ghostface and Patrick Bateman with a sensitive reader , i don't know why. Can you do it please?

Ok, I may or may not have forgotten that I can get requests and now there's a pile of them...(Btw I will be changing my pfp and my username, filthyslashertoad.)

Slashers with a Sensitive Reader

Hannibal Lecter

Is probably the best slasher to have as a man.

He isn't one to make jokes or rude comments(kind of...) towards people.

Notices whenever people say things that get to you. (He becomes a bit of a mean girl when people insult you)

Defends you to the end of the earth and makes sure that you're ok afterward.

Poly!Ghostface

Billy and Stu try really hard to not offend you but they both end up making you cry a good bit.

They try to make it up to you but a lot of the time when they do they accidentally either make it worse or do it again later on.

Stu tries to remind Billy since he's a bit forgetful and uses insults to joke with people.

Patrick Bateman

Oh lord.

Uses it to his advantage and manipulates you.

But also at the same time, if anyone tries to manipulate you or insult you, he won't let that slide. ever.

He gets annoyed with you sometimes because of it, but it also helps him to be more self-aware about things that he does. (Not that he really cares but yk)

[pygmi-cygni]

writing tips pt idk - swearing in a second language.

ok ok ok. here's the thing - i am by no means asking you to learn the language you wanna use for the character. that is way too much work and makes no friggin sense. I totally understand using google translate.

but.

There are some linguistic differences that you need to be sooooooo aware of when you write in that language.

The mistake i see the most is swearing. profanity.

profanity is not universal. 'fuck' in one language does not always mean the same thing as it does in English/your language.

keep in mind, when you use google translate, it translates it literally. the literal translation of 'fuck' is sexual intercourse. so the word you get will mean 'sex.'

Also - some words are taboo in different cultures. In Australia/Britain, 'cunt' is used liberally and doesn't mean anything terrible. If you used 'cunt' casually in America, it would cause a huge scene. So, don't assume that 'fuck, shit, damn' all work the same across languages.

I'm not asking you to do a huge research project, but look up 'common swears in [x] language' or 'surprised phrases in [x] language'.

Especially because your readers might actually know the language you're writing in. I know firsthand how irritating it is to read something so incorrect it's offensive. Seriously, if you don't pay attention to the consequences of your phrasing, you might offend someone. I know you can't please everybody, but this isn't that hard to fix.

I speak Russian as my first language (I apologize for the country's actions, I feel no affiliations towards Russia and Putin is a disgusting pig) and insulting someone's mother is a huge offense. Massive. In English, it can be a casual joke. Never in Russian. "son of a bitch" will get you stabbed. I'm serious.

English is pretty unique in the casual way swear words are used. Most of the time, there are substitute words used for a joke, and the real deal is only uttered in dire circumstances. (like 'frick' versus 'fuck'.) Assuming all languages will react the same way is not true.

again - don't devote your life to learning the language, but put in the work to make your writing authentic. offending someone because you were slacking isn't cool.

Swearing is pretty important. Pay attention, give it a little bit of effort.

xox love you, keep writing

[astridthevalkyrie]

The heroes have been through shit. They've been brutalized, to put it mildly. All of them have seen better days, and everyone who remains doesn't even get the chance to rest. With all the high security prisons being broken into and chaos littering the streets, healing and relaxing couldn't be farther from their minds.

But you'll be damned if you don't take advantage of every free second Keigo has for you.

And is it childish, to make out with him in an apartment that's messy from all the blankets tossed here and there, your laptop tossed aside on a chair with a half-written but scathing article on Stain's ideology, seated on your boyfriend's lap while he lounges back on the only free space available on your couch?

Yes, yes it is. You can't bring yourself to care.

"Ten more minutes," he mumbles into your mouth, but you bet you can make it eleven. The wet sounds his lips make every time they pull away from yours only to dive back in drive you absolutely insane in the best way.

Because you're trying to be sweet, because you're trying to be mindful, you finally pull away, gazing at him with a soft, appraising look.

Time is precious. You can't have him leave thinking that the only thing you miss about him is how good of a kisser he is.

So you press your lips to his forehead, and Keigo sighs, hands sliding down from your hips to your ass, squeezing to pull you in closer.

"Only ten minutes," you remind him in a whisper, licking your swollen lips before kissing a newly formed bruise on his cheek. You'd told him not to fight up close, to leave that to the pros who aren't trying to literally regrow their limbs. But Keigo's the hero. He's always been the hero, probably always will be. So you just try to keep the chiding to a minimum and focus on bandaging and soothing the injuries he comes home with.

Home. Home is here, you hope. This is where Keigo comes back to, and he's as greedy as you are, stealing moments that could definitely be spent doing other, more productive things. What's love if not an absolute waste of your time?

Your fingers ghost over the scar on his face, the one that starts above his mouth and travels well down to his neck. Keigo grunts as you press a kiss to that part of his skin too.

The two of you haven't discussed it. You didn't have anything to say, and if Keigo needed to confide in you, he would, just like he does with everything else.

And, it seems, this is the moment for it to come up. "Ugly, isn't it?" he jokes, bringing his hand up to slide his fingers against yours, pulling it away from the scar. "No more modeling for me."

A nasty feeling rears in you. It feels like hearing someone else insult him, and the defensive roar in your chest makes you want to fight fiercely, even if he himself is the offending party.

He notices it, your scowl. With a lopsided grin, he asks, "What?"

It's like he doesn't even know. How gorgeous everything about him is, his pupils that expand and slit depending on his mood, the burn marks still scattered on his face, and even his teeth, slightly crooked but white and sharp.

You hold his face in your hands and kiss him again, rough this time. Demanding. Angry.

One of his hands palms the side of your neck, reciprocating the kiss the best he can before pulling away, slightly breathless. "What's—"

"You're the most handsome guy in the world." Your cheeks burn a little saying something so openly, so bluntly. With a groan, you bury your face in his chest to conceal your embarrassed expression. You mean every word you say, but it doesn't mean you have to look him in the eyes for it.

Keigo laughs, actually laughs, mouth on your temple where you can feel his lips curve into a smile. "Glad you think so. I knew you were into the rugged type."

Sure. You appreciate ruggedness. Who doesn't? But you're not letting him escape the point so easily.

"If you wore glasses," you huff, "then I'd be into the nerdy type. And if you wore leather jackets, then I'd be into the biker type." Summoning up your courage, you heft yourself back up, stubbornly glaring into his eyes. "And if you liked straw hats, then I suppose I'd be super into cowboys."

Normally you'd see his feathers fluff up, but in their absence you pay more attention to his face, which freezes at your confession. His pupils dilate and his mouth falls open just slightly, staring at you like he can't fully believe that you're real.

Instead of backing down, you stare back, fists clenched into his shirt. The past few weeks have been so difficult for him, name, actions, secrets and faults exposed to the whole world. No wings. Keigo is changing, you know it. Experiencing a taste of freedom for the first time, as bitter as it may be. He might not be sure if you like this new version, but that's what you're trying to tell him—you like every single version of him, and you're going to prove it whenever you need to.

"Those are," he croaks, but his voice is choked up, "really outdated stereotypes."

"Yeah."

"And I love you." His heart is beating so fast under your touch that it speeds up your own. "Like, really fucking love you."

He meets you, this time, lips crashing onto yours as you kneel down. With a trill, he leans forward, letting you topple onto the couch, luckily not on top of anything but scattered cushions, as his body covers your own and his lips press kiss after kiss to your lips, your jaw, your neck.

"How much time do we have left now?" you wonder, breath caught in your throat.

"Dunno." He doesn't even bother looking up to check. "Forever, for all I care."

[plutosunshine]

Your sense of humor

Mercury in Aries

Your sense of humor is straightforward and even edgy. You can kill people with your words. However, it makes you super funny. You like to be goofy and silly with friends. Your bold, open and honest style of communication adds charm to you. Your jokes are fast and this makes them even funnier because one of the main rules of good humor is a sudden fast joke. Everybody who has Aries Mercury!!! If you hide or suppress these talents, they will destroy you from the inside. You need to forward your sarcasm to the world, not inside yourself.

Mercury in Taurus

Mercury in Taurus is not as fast as Aries Mercury. However, it has its advantages. This Mercury has not a fast reaction but it doesn’t destroy its sense of humor. Your humor is so practical and precise that others can’t help but laugh. You are sarcastic and you know how to say something at right time. Sometimes people don’t expect a joke from you but it comes out and kills everybody. Did I mention sarcasm? Oh yes, I need to mention it again because omg Taurus Mercury owns it! Remember George Carlin? Yes, he is the owner of Taurus Mercury.

Mercury in Gemini

Gemini Mercury knows a little bit of every topic so your humor may depend on the person you are with. You adjust your sense of humor depending on the situation. Your humor is fast, optimistic and smart. Everyone thinks that you are witty and you were born to joke. You need to be appreciated for your humor. Also, you like to play with words and meanings. These jokes are easy to create for you. Your Mercury is in Gemini so people think you are so smart and know everything and sometimes they don’t notice that you don’t go that deep.

Mercury in Cancer

Cancer Mercury often has a very good memory so it affects the sense of humor. You can remember something nobody already does so you successfully use it to joke. Cancer Mercury natives rarely joke about their families. It is something sacred for them. You intuitively sense the mood of your surroundings and that helps you to be on the same wavelength as others. Your jokes are rarely offensive and others adore that about you. The only way you can insult somebody is when you don’t even understand that it is offensive. Usually, you don’t do that on purpose.

Mercury in Leo

Leo Mercury natives have very special facial expressions; they are artistic and unapologetically funny. If you have this Mercury, you MUST joke. It is your nature. You are a very good storyteller. Your expressions and even gestures color the story. Everybody understands your sense of humor. It is mostly optimistic and light-hearted. If the rest of the chart allows, you are the center of the party. Even if other planets are more introverted, you still need to express your talented Mercury. Maybe only in your friend's circle!

Mercury in Virgo

Here we go again, of course, earth = sarcasm. We can’t escape that. Your sense of humor is critical and detail-oriented. You notice little details and use them in your jokes. It impresses others because of the surprise effect. They don’t expect that somebody can notice such little things. Virgo Mercury natives are smart. They show it anytime and everywhere they go. Some people may think that you are even arrogant but it can be possible only if you don’t work with your Mercury. I advise you to read more because it will affect you so well and will improve your sense of humor.

Mercury in Libra

Your sense of humor is logical and soft. You don’t like offensive jokes (but watch out for Mercury-Mars aspects). You are diplomatic and even your jokes have this “not to offend anyone” attitude. That is why others love your humor so much. You talk politely and choose your words carefully. Libra Mercury has all the chances to be the queen/king of the party because of the wit, intelligence and “loving everybody” attitude. Depending on the rest of your chart, you have the potential to be a social butterfly.

Mercury in Scorpio

Of course dark humor. Humor that is not understood by everybody. You have a very special sense of humor. Most of the time you are sarcastic. This Mercury has a very interesting detail: when you joke, others often can’t understand if is it a joke or an insult. Also, Scorpio Mercury is very observant. Jokes may contain some not-pleasant observations of others. You see what other people hide behind their masks and joke very painfully about that. When you are with close friends, your humor is the best, they adore you.

Mercury in Sagittarius

Born entertainer! You tell stories like no other. With Leo Mercury of course. Your sense of humor is light-hearted, optimistic, straightforward and honest. Sometimes people laugh because of how sincerely and honestly you talk. You can talk about the topics everybody is afraid of. And you just don’t understand what is wrong. Sagittarius Mercury can be too straightforward at times and doesn’t see that someone is insulted. It is because of the careless nature of Sagittarius Mercury. And there is where your open and sincere sense of humor comes from.

Mercury in Capricorn

Of course, again it is sarcasm. However, if Virgo Mercury is more flexible, the sense of humor of Capricorn Mercury is drier. It is based on concrete facts and logic. Sometimes people don’t like the reality so it can be insulting. However, Capricorn Mercury is just no joke. It knows facts and jokes about them. Cynical and dry at times, but it is the nature of it!

Mercury on Aquarius

This one is considered a genius or crazy. No in between. Your sense of humor is unique and unusual so not everybody understands it. Of course, your friends’ circle adores you. Your jokes sometimes come out of nowhere all of a sudden. Unpredictability and uniqueness make your sense of humor unusual. You often use very random facts in your jokes. Your humor is creative, a little bit cosmic and not from this world.

Mercury in Pisces

Your sense of humor is creative and bright! You create such beautiful and unbelievable stories! Unbelievable is the key word here because let’s be honest you like to add some inexistent details to the story. That makes the story and your jokes more colorful! Also, you are the type of person who jokes like crazy at the party and all of a sudden you disappear and become silent. When you are in your “peopley” phase, you are the best entertainer but when you don’t feel it anymore, you just leave.

[6okuto]

heyy l love ur all your touchstarved hcs and I was wondering if you could write anything for ais? if you’ve done him already could you do leander? thank youu <3

GENERAL AIS HCS

gn!reader | OF COURSEE my babygirl & thank u omg IM GLAD U GUYS LIKE THEM !!🫶 i'll probably make a separate leander post + posts for the others too tbh

you see it in the demo but he's so so happy to see you get along with princess + any other pets 🙁 personally i need a scene where they go to you instead of him and he pretends to be offended.

"after all i've done for you?" he asks before squatting beside you. his eyes flicker over to you before he joins in petting them. "guess i can't blame you, though."

ais teaching them tricks and grinning and saying good job and laughing when they jump on him for a reward. him teaching princess a trick and secretly being very excited to show you because he wants to see your reaction🙁💔

ONE LAST PET NOTE but i need to know what other names he's thought of because he totally looks like he'd give a big scary pet the silliest name ever. peak entertainment for him

if you know any other languages he'd love to learn some phrases!! yes i mean insults for others and nicknames for you. ais loves using them on like,, leander,, who's like What? so he can go "Wouldn't you like to know."

would be very amused if you dyed your hair to match his. calls you a copycat but if you threatened to redye it he'd get more annoying (said lovingly)

does the thing where he leans in really close as if he's gonna kiss you then doesn't. he reaches to grab something behind you and moves away while grinning

he likes listening to you talk about your interests and makes sure to remember important details. casually osmosis's (???) your interests and opinions even if he's never touched it himself

pulling him closer by his clothes or necklaces gets him. Interested.

the pocky game. he takes huge bites and kisses you or gets so incredibly close everyone's just like oh shut up. takes the stick that's a centimeter long between his fingers and goes "i think we got an inch left"

the type of guy who if you wordlessly hugged him would be like "miss me that much?" but have a noticeably firm hold around you because he Is a little worried about why you're hugging him. if you sincerely say yes, his eyes and voice soften when he says "well, good thing i'm here now."

he's confident and totally trusts you but he also finds it incredibly amusing to walk up and kiss you or wrap an arm around your waist if he sees someone try hitting on you. asks "hey, babe, who's this?" while staring right at them. Won't be nice if the person's an ass though

not afraid of pda. you could literally be clinging on to him and he wouldn't mind.

one of the guys who'd carry your silly looking bag without hesitation

you could say "oh try this," about a silly little heart headband and he'd let you put it on as long as he can give You one. "now we match," he says with a grin. take a picture together and set it as his lock screen and he won't change it for ages

looks like a guy who will drape himself on top of you if you're in bed or on the couch. the type of guy who when you say you need to go pee says okay i'll come with you before you shove him

^ likes it when you hold him and just play with his hair or trace things along is back. he plays that game where he tries to guess what you're writing and is ? weirdly good at it ?

if you made a playlist for him he'd listen to it whenever he misses you

also if you have spotify he always checks your profile. you say "i need to know who's liking my playlists" and he's like yeah they must have a crush on you. it's literally him though

sends you shit like this and says you @ me / us / etc because he's annoying and also correct. ais at the peak of the "you want me so bad" jokes would be on top of the world

[coffeefiction]

You're my Favorite (Wally Darling x Reader)

Here, I have fluff, take it as a sorry for breaking you guys with my Love Binds story-

If you lovely neighbors see any mistakes, please don't be afraid to point them out!

Enjoy!

It was a nice day. You and Wally were planning your next activity, laying out maps and lists for the next outing, as you both tend to do. You smile at Wally as he points out the next location. "We could go there; They have this pretty lovely restaurant that I very much like!" Wally said enthusiastically. You look at the location and hum. "It does seem interesting," you said, giving Wally a side eye, who stares at you. "Interesting? That's it, neighbor? It's lovely! What do you mean it seems interesting?" He quips up with an offended gasp, causing you to laugh at his reaction, which only seems to only make him look more insulted.

"I'll have you know that, that place is the absolute most, neighbor! And, as a matter of fact, it is one of my favorites too! It is not just interesting! It is lovely and magnificent!" He ranted, moving his hands as if he were animated, causing you to double down on your laughter.

He pouts, folding his arms and turning away. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry, it looks lovely," you replied, laughing. "There? Happy?" you humorously ask the Muppet, who is still pouting. "Awwww, come on, I was just joking, Wals," you said. "The place seems lovely; we can go there if you want; god forbid if I don't allow you to." Wally glances at you. "You'd have my head if I refused to say yes to your favorite restaurant," you remarked, smiling at him.

Wally laughs and rolls his eyes. "I think the eyes would be a good fit for my collection, neighbor," he added. Putting your hands up in surrender, you giggle, "I surrender, I surrender; please don't steal my eyes," causing him to chuckle.

"Of course not; you're my favorite; besides, how would you see your dashing neighbor if I did so?" he says, creating a theatrical attitude that makes you chuckle. "Dashing? You tell yourself that at 12:15 in the morning, Mr. I'm certainly sleeping," you joked, which resulted in a playful whack on the shoulder. You burst out laughing. "At least, I don't wake up grumpy and demanding coffee like a deprived man," he explained. You nudge him, causing him to quack in response to the abrupt attack.

"But you love me," you pointed out. Wally simply drew you close to him and smothered your face in kisses. "Yeah, yeah, I love you and all of your chaos, you gremlin," he replied. You laugh as he continues to shower kisses on your face.

"And I love you too, my dearest Mr. I am sleeping, darling," he chuckles, beaming brightly as usual. "Now, now, don't bring my sleeping into this conversation, neighbor," you snorted. "Now, let's finally pick a place so we can enjoy ourselves! After all, adventure awaits no one!" he exclaimed, puffing his chest out and pointing his fingers toward the ceiling.

-------------------------------------

The two of you ended picking a diner you and Wally wanted to go to for dinner. As for the others, you two come to a complete agreement about going to the mall and just exploring the place to see if you two find something interesting enough for the both of you to buy.

It was fun and all. While in the process, Wally keeps clowning around, making jokes and puns left and right that have you cracking up. He'd flirt with you on occasion, and if he caught you off guard, he'd always present himself wearing a sneaky, smile on his muppet face that usually ended with you wiping it off, or at least trying your best to, given the enormous height gap between you two.

While Wally stood at 6 foot 7, you were on the 5-foot scale, which was Wally's go-to spot to tease and also his go-to reason why he had to pick you up. Of course, you'd complain; it wouldn't be you if you didn't, but secretly, and probably Wally knows it too, You like that he picks you up and carries you; if the day ended with him carrying you, then you can always excuse his teasing remarks, and besides, who's to say you didn't have anything to bite back at your sweet darling?

-----------------------------------

The day finally came, you both got ready for today's activity, and you put on your best outfit, something simple and casual, something that isn't overdressed but also isn't underdressed.

When you heard the doorbell ring, you immediately knew who it was. Grabbing your bag of choice, you immediately went to open the door. There stood your beloved, dressed up in his usual aesthetic, smiling brightly as he held out his hand.

"M'lady," you giggled as you took his hand, letting him guide you out, closing the door, and locking it in the process. "I will say this, neighbor, you look very lovely!" he complimented. You grin, blushing at the kind comments. "Thank you; you look handsome if I do say so myself," he beams, guiding you along the street as you both begin to stroll. "What can I say? I have to be presentable if I want my neighbor to fall for me," he smirked, making you laugh.

"We're already dating doofus," you said, bumping your shoulder on him in a playfully manner. He chuckles softly. "Still, just because we're already dating doesn't mean I can't try my best to make you fall for me again and again." You smile, holding his hand tightly and bringing it close to you as you give it a gentle kiss.

"You already make me fall enough for you, Mr. Darling," you said, making him smile. "And you do too, my little darling neighbor," he said, kissing your forehead, causing you to smile even more.

God, you love this man with all your heart, and nothing seems to change that otherwise. It feels like, day by day, he always finds a way to make you fall for his charms even more than you already do, although that is one thing you'll never complain about. You like how sweet he is, yet he can be a bit of an arse if he ever wants to be. A good mix of fancy and sass with a bit of class.

-------------------------------------

The day goes on. After stopping at the mall to look around, you both ended up playing in the arcade for a while, attempting to beat and outscore each other and having a friendly rivalry on who could earn the best score and the most tickets. After some time, you two ended up combining both of your tickets and winning a coffee machine.

One of the many things you and Wally share is your love for games, and trying to outsmart and outbest the other was an added bonus to keeping both of your relationships with one another on its toes. It's all fun and games for the two of you; no hurt was put into it, and if one joke was amiss and it hurt the other, it was easily fixed by an apology and a snack of their choosing.

Of course, your relationship isn't perfect; you both battle with communication at times, but who doesn't? Fights tend to break out, and it isn't fine, but at the end, you both would still come back to each other, apologize, and cuddle it up if both of you were up for it. So to say the least, your relationship isn't the best, but it's not the worst either; it's a good balance of chaos, angst, and fluff, as you refer to it, to which Wally's only response was a laugh and a statement saying "You need to calm down with your books neighbor; it's sweet, but it's concerning at times on how many genres you could list off the top of your head and reflect it in reality". You laugh at that, and just thinking about it now as you two walk to your next destination with the coffee machine makes you smile.

--------------------------

Now both of you were heading to the diner after a couple of hours hanging around in the mall, which has caused you two to be hungry. Of course the two of you could have stopped at a fast food restaurant at the mall; the Jollibee there was tempting Wally very much, and you were tempted to get him to order his food so you two could jump on McDonald's and order for yourselves.

The thought of Wally eating a Jollibee at a McDonald's with a coffee machine lives in your mind rent-free, and you even went as far as to tell him about it, causing him to get a good laugh. Maybe one day, the two of you might just do that to be a menace to society, but today, it was about you and him, and the diner was something you two have been looking forward to dine at.

Being menaces to society can wait.

How's that? It is alright? I hope it is!

Thank you all for reading the story! I hope you all have a great day/night!

Goodbye!

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of That One Moment from Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush

Technically, this post is a part 4 of my liveblog, but still...

Today we will be talking about the interaction that I am most mentally ill about in the entirety of Wakfu.

Before I go completely off the rails: I think it's cute that despite everything, Keke still cares a lot about Ecaflip and Ecaflipus, and Atcham still cares about killing people for wronging him.

Things have changed after six centuries, but they're still just themselves. Anyway.

There is so much happening here. SO much. Let me break it down point by point:

The most obvious one: by addressing them as kids, he pulls his "I am roleplaying as your father for these strangers who don't know anything about our weird familial situation, and you will obey me" card. This is important because:

Kerubim and Atcham know how much Joris cares about the Brotherhood of Tofu and their opinions of him, to the point of going a little bit crazy at the thought of offending Yugo and Adamai.

So, even if him pulling the "I'm your dad" card is a bit egocentric, they can't say anything about that openly — because Joris would be so, so sad if everyone in this room knew he lives with his dad for 600 years now. He'd be so mad too, because "papychaaa, chaaaoncle stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

We KNOW Kerubim cares about not embarrassing Joris — because in the Dofus MMO he won't shut the hell up about his 20-30 dead loved ones from 200 years ago, says a Singular Thing about Atcham, and absolutely nothing about his very much alive son/fake dad, at best managing a little "we all want someone small in our lives..."

In my opinion, while some families are built on mutual roasting, the Crepin-Jurgen household houses three people with very fragile senses of self-esteem, so anything resembling roasting is usually light, exclusive to when they're all alone, and never about things that they actually hate about themselves ("short, weird, ugly, hypocrite, weak, overthinker"; "ugly" (some bald jokes allowed, but it depends on the mood); and "narcissist who kept his son in a hazardous environment for the first 7 years of his life and gave him 30 mental illnesses").

Besides the fact that Keke and Atch care about Joris making friends, — for the three of them (but especially Joris and Atcham), feeling belittled is the easiest way to ruin a relationship irreparably. If you insult them, it's just over. And I don't mean it in a funny-haha cutesy way. Sometimes, people actually dislike when they are insulted repeatedly about something they legitimately hate about themselves, and, y'know, hate everyone who hurts them this way? And you will not believe it, but people who actually care about them know and respect that. Because they love them.

So yeah, the three of them are all creatures of pride, and they respect that about each other, — which is why would never put each other in a position where they might get laughed at. (like suddenly revealing the Dad Roleplay and "600 years of living with his dad" sort of interpersonal lore)

However, being creatures of pride, I don't think Kerubim and Atcham are happy about Joris doing this. Especially because of the next point: Joris uses his position as their roleplay-dad and Asocial Son/Nephew Who Needs To Impress His Friends to essentially force them to let him go into a battle alone. Essentially, this line is translated as "you have glass bones and paper skin. you can't follow me because I said so, and you can't protest without looking weird." into Normal Human Tongue.

Joris does this for a very simple reason: they are weak (though so is he), and he's scared — he loves them! It's normal that he doesn't want to see them be hurt! Even if they have multiple lives, but they're not infinite lives, and it doesn't make every time they die NOT scary and traumatizing! He wants Kerubim and Atcham to go and rest, and he's also excited that they're finally meeting his friends.

However, unlike them, he only has one life — and they hate to see him hurt just as much, if not more, considering how much more danger he's always in:

They would really rather not leave their p'tit Jojo Joris alone with things they know are dangerous, — like Ush, — while Joris is weakened. No matter how much he wants to fight Ush one-on-one.

So, they refuse and even joke about him in the most subtle and funny way: using his own little game to make fun of him, and completely refuse his offer of leaving to rest in Sadida Kingdom, — coupled with an overexaggerated little shrug, and rubbing their statuses as so-called "sons" and "father" in his face.

These three come up with very elaborate rituals to communicate things that take normal people like ten seconds.

[dracoxsworld]

ARRANGED - Draco M. X Reader

PART 4 - The Library

CONTENT WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TOWARDS READER. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION, PLEASE CALL 800-799-7233. OR, GO TO THE HOTLINE.ORG YOU ARE NOT ALONE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU THIS IS TRIGGERING.

After the kiss, you and Draco just talked, about everything. Your childhood, life before and after Hogwarts, who you initially thought you’d be set to marry.

“Imagine if you’d have to marry Potter.” Draco chuckled. You rolled your eyes. “Potter happens to be my friend, still.” You commented. Draco looked at you in disgust. “For pity?” He asked. “Malfoy!” You laughed, hitting his arm.

“You know, I can technically call you Malfoy, too.” Draco said, raising his eyebrows.

“Shit. Yeah we are married, huh.” You said. You hadn’t really let it set in that you were officially Y/N Malfoy.

“You know, I don’t mind you being my wife, despite the whole difference in beliefs thing.” Draco admitted. You were surprised.

“You mean to tell me that the Draco Malfoy doesn’t completely hate me?”

“I never said I hated you, not those specific words, anyway.”

“Draco, when I arrived at the Manor yesterday, after hours of being dolled up, you looked at me and said ‘she’ll do’. That’s pretty insulting.” You said. It did kind of hurt your feelings, you weren’t sure why. You never cared about Draco’s opinion before.

“That’s not insulting! I was stating that you were do-able!” Draco said defensively. You raised your brows at him, specifically when he said ‘do-able’. Your facial expression made him shake his head when he thought about what he had said. “I mean— You looked great, Y/N.” Draco said looking into your eyes.

“Does that still mean I’m ‘do-able’?” You asked unimpressed by his confession.

“Please, take me seriously.” Draco begged, taking your hands in his. His hands were cold, but strong. His blue veins were very visible through his pale skin. “Go on, I’ll take you seriously” You said, with your hand on your chest to show your honesty.

“You’ve always been beautiful, Y/N.” Draco said slowly. “Yesterday, at our wedding, when you arrived at the manor, even in school."

You looked at him and said nothing. He continued, "You've always been so beautiful."

"Is this a prank." You said doubtful. Draco looked offended. "Hey! I'm trying to be sincere, here." You shrugged. "You hate me, you always have."

"I do not hate you!" Draco said, getting up from the bed. "Okay, okay, relax." You said, grasping his hand and bringing you back to you.

"If I hated you I wouldn't have kissed you." Draco pouted.

You stare at the wall for a second, you get lost in your thoughts. Draco seems to notice. "What's on your mind?" He asked you.

"I imagined my life to go so much differently." You said. "Now I'm here, I woke up handcuffed to a bed, and not because I had fun the night before, either." You joked. Draco's pale face suddenly got very pink very quickly. "And married." You added, ignoring his reaction.

"I'm sorry." Draco said quietly.

-

The next few days consisted of photos of you and Draco in the Daily Prophet, both professional photos taken of you both as well as paparazzi photos, of course- when you were out of the manor you were heavily guarded. Not to protect you both but to ensure you won't escape.

At first, you both were told to pretend to enjoy each others company for the cameras, but eventually you didn't have to pretend. The more you were with Draco the more of the other sides of him came out of hiding. Draco's biggest fear is spiders, he loves fruit pie, (specifically apple) and he has an unusual amount of knowledge about all flowers. What they are, what regions they grow in, what colors they typically are, etc.

The paparazzi snapped a photo of you both on a blanket in a field, having a picnic. It was the first actual date you both could be on (Guards of course being nearby, but gave you a reasonable amount of distance.)

In the moving picture in the Daily Prophet, you and Draco are seen studying a book he had brought. Draco had shown you all the flowers in the field in the book.

"How do you know all of these things?" You asked him while he was reading a very long paragraph about Foxgloves.

"Lots of lonely days in the Manor, mother has a huge garden, I found some old books about the flowers she had, and I decided that this would be my hobby." He explained, looking at you, smiling.

He tucked a Dahlia flower behind your ear. Your face was about as red as the petals. "You're very cute when you blush." He said, brushing your hair out of your face, as it was blowing in the wind.

Nicholas came to your mind every once in a while. You knew he was reading the Daily Prophet, you knew he was seeing the pictures of you and Draco. You wondered what he was thinking, if he was still waiting for you.

Of course, you loved him. He was going to be the person you spent the rest of your life with. But things were complicated, much more than they were when you both were young, sneaking around Hogwarts at night, holding hands.

You and Draco went into a library once, Draco went to get a book specifically about what flowers you can make tea with- he wouldn't shut up about it the entire way there.

"Y/N! Why didn't I even think about it?" Draco exclaimed, practically running to the library once it was in your field of vision, he grabbed your hand and sprinted. "Draco!" You laughed. He was so excited. It was heart warming almost, to see him this way.

You arrived to the library, it smelled like violets and potpourri. Very sweet, and lovely. "Dray, I am going to look for fantasy books to read tonight, okay?" You said sweetly, He turned towards you. "Dray?" He said "When did you start calling me that?" He said, smiling down at you. You blushed. "Um, right now, I suppose." You said, not able to look at him without your cheeks hurting from you blushing. He cupped your sweet, freckled face in his hands and planted a kiss on your lips.

This was your second kiss. You both felt too awkward yet to show too much affection, it took time. Holding hands was one thing, but kissing felt personal, it felt like something that should be handled with extreme care. But every time you both did, you could feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

"You're very cute, pick out some books, then meet me in the flora section, in the right corner." Draco said softly, his thumb rubbing your cheek. You nodded, and he went to his corner, probably having a ball looking for the perfect book to study.

You were browsing the fantasy section, your finger running along the spines of the books on the shelves, when you hear the bell to the door ring.

"Y/N!" said a familiar voice. You turn around and your eyes widened. It was Nicholas. He ran up to you and grabbed you by the waist, picked you up and spun you in a circle. You felt a ball of anxiety in your stomach, but you gave him a small "Hi."

He looked the same, same reddish-brown hair, same freckled, same brown eyes. "I have missed you, so so much." He said, taking your hands in his. "You hair has gotten so long, it's so beautiful." He said, examining your hair. "yeah, I suppose it has, haha." You said nervously. Nicholas looked at you with a puzzled look. "Well, how have you been?" He asked with a slight tone shift. "Um," You start, and do a quick look behind you, to make sure Draco wasn't coming. "You know, just here, picking out a fantasy book." You said, your thumb pointing behind you at the shelves. "I'm doing great, if you were wondering." Nicholas said, a bit snarky, seemingly ignoring what you had said.

"I'm sorry, Nicholas I-"

"No, shit, I'm sorry Y/N. You must be miserable. Stuck with that horrible man, my sweet girl." He said, feeling guilty. He came up to you to embrace you, which you again, awkwardly returned. "Horrible?" You asked him. "In fact, I'm surprised he even let you come to the library."

"Well, Draco isn't really-"

"In fact, maybe we can run, Y/N. This is perfect! We can be together." Nicholas said exclaimed. You quickly turned around, making sure Draco didn't hear, and was coming.

"Nicholas.." You said, quietly, but it was no good. He was rambling about how dumfounded Draco would be when he saw you with him. "Oh, Y/N, I love you." Nicholas said, looking at you.

You paused. It was never hard for you to say 'I love you' to Nicholas, you both said it to each other all the time. But this time, you just couldn't.

"Y/N." Nicholas said, stepping closer to you. "We can be together again, like how we were meant to be." He grabbed you gently by the back of your neck, and pulled you closer to him and gently kissed you. You softly pushed him away. He looked at you, even more puzzled than before. "Nicholas, listen to me. You have to leave." You said, calmly.

"You mean, we have to leave, right?" Nicholas said, sternly. "Nicholas- it's complicated.." You said, your eyes looking at the floor.

Nicholas face was getting red.

"What's complicated? You love me."

You just looked at him. "You need to go, please."

"This is bullshit." Nicholas said, pushing you slightly.

"Nicholas, please-"

"No, this is bullshit!" He yelled. He pushed you again, this time you his the book shelf. "Nicholas!" you said, tears forming in your eyes.

"You're fucking dead to me." Nicholas said, looking at you in your eyes. "You promised we'd be together. You're a fucking whore." He spat at you. You looked at him, your face had gone white, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"Y/N?" You heard Draco's voice. You wanted to call for him, but you couldn't speak. Nicholas was towering over you, gripping your shoulders. You knew there'd be bruises from where he gripped them.

Draco came our of the corner, holding 2 books, he immediately dropped them. You looked at him, nervous. Pleading for help with your eyes.

"Get your hands off of her." Draco demanded.

Nicholas pushed himself off of you.

"Y/N, come here, please." Draco said, strictly, but still sweetly. You did as you were told, Draco led you to be behind him.

"Nicholas, leave." Draco declared. "I highly suggest you do."

"Fine, you can have her. But one day she'll turn her back on you. After all of these years, Y/N?"

"You must be pretty boring if she can fall in love with me in 2 months after you being with her for years." Draco said, smirking. You pursed your lips behind Draco, trying not to laugh, your anxiety and nerves going away for a second.

"You're lucky your Slytherin prince came to save you, Y/N." Nicholas stated.

"I said leave." Draco demanded one last time. Stepping closer to Nicholas.

With a few more huffs and puffs, you heard the door bell ring again, and Nicholas was gone.

Draco faced you, you couldn't even make eye contact with him. You held back a majority of your tears, but they flooded out.

"Hey, hey. You're safe." Draco cooed. He pulled you into a hug, stroking the back of your head.

"I will never let him hurt you."