#it's my first day of break too
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butchnavi · 9 months ago
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☕️ gauss theorem
kill yourself
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slymanner · 1 year ago
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
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somnoir · 1 month ago
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first time giving a prompt
deaged!Danny (may include Dani, Dan and/or Jazz too if you like) given to Themyscira to be raised by Kronos (Clockwork). They were given a vague reason (they either might end the world or save it. kinda like the PJO Great Prophecy "to preserve or raze")
cause a boy/s is/are involved. They get sent to be raised by Diana instead
i just really want mom!Diana to happen
god I love mom!Diana so much! I need this woman to just pop up to the watchtower with her own baby and tell the others to fuck off cause, BATMAN HAS HIS BABIES I HAVE MINE!
Percy Jackson themes? Let's go!
Children of Diana - part 1
Kronos was always a mysterious and frightening figure in their stories. The father that devoured their children upon a prophecy of a throne to be taken by his child. Five had fallen into his stomach, Hestia of the hearth fell first, whilst Hades was the last to be eaten. Only by Rhea's cunning did their youngest, Zeus, survive his father's hunger and grow to be king.
But Kronos never truly stayed dead.
He was time embodied, moving with every universe, even as he melted away from their world and into another.
Hippolyta told her stories of Kronos, along with how she wished for a child and how her love for one allowed her to make Diana out of clay and give her blessing of goddesses to be a mother to a blessed daughter. Diana heard stories from her mother of everlasting Kronos who's name shifted with worlds, with his domain of time. How the titan has moved past from his children and embedded himself into the stars.
Diana heard of his stories but never in her lifetime did she expect to be met with that same Titan.
Her first instinct was to bow, to greet this almighty titan with the proper etiquette. But Kronos only smiled at her, snapping his fingers.
One moment Diana was Louvre, then next she was beside her mother in Themyscira.
"Diana!" Hippolyta blinked, bewildered to see her daughter before the atmosphere turned tense, cold.
Once again, the Amazons were graces—perhaps even cursed—with the Master of Time's presence.
"Kronos." Hippolyta sucked in a deep breath, her stance going rigid as she prepared to greet and attack their guest. "My lord..."
"Progeny of mine," Kronos wore a purple rone that shadowed his face, with a body that floated from the ground. In his hand was a peculiar staff with a glowing blue clock. "I have no trust in my children but... You Amazons are more sensible and responsible than my brats."
"Except for Hestia. I would trust her but she is too close to them for my liking." He drawled, startling Diana.
Hestia was the eldest of the traitors, the first to be eaten. She was still referred to as a traitor and yet there is evident fondness in Kronos' voice.
"Nevermind that." Kronos waved it off, "Pandora has claimed that you are trustworthy—" THE FIRST WOMAN PANDORA?! "So I shall trust you with this prophecy. Especially, Diana... Wonder Woman. You will prove essential to the fulfillment of this prophecy."
Diana's body stiffened, unable to help but grab her mother's hand. Blessed as she was, Hippolyta squeezed her daughter's hand, comforting and reassuring before they nodded and waited for the prophecy...
Kronos was smiling.
"From the death of youth, a monarch shall rise,
To fall, and rise again with time's reprise.
Brother and sister by the throne will stand,
Balance to bring, or doom to command.
Should the path be dark, the stars will weep,
For the universe's fate, the king shall keep."
Diana's breath hitched. The prophecy was... It was scary. She couldn't fathom it. From the lines alone, there was a possibility of the universe's doom... But it involves a king of sorts.
What did that entail?
Kronos was laughing now. "Be wary, Diana of Themyscira... The High King of the infinite realms and his siblings will arrive soon..."
"The infinite realms?!" Hippolyta almost looked faint.
"Yes. The king, his royal siblings the prince and princess have entered a new cycle. Their oldest royal sister is currently regent and unable to raise them in the realms."
Diana cleared her throat, "My apologies, but why is the regent unable to raise her siblings?"
"Regent Queen Jasmine Phantom died long ago. She is a full ghost whilst her siblings are epitomes of balance, both living and dead. As they are still very much alive, being in the realms for too long during their years of development is unhealthy for their constitutions." He explained, glancing at his staff.
"It is time."
Again, Diana was startled and almost lunged forward for more answers before her mother squeezed her hand again. Her breath caught, glancing back at her mother who sent her a warning glare.
"I wish you the best of luck, Diana." Kronos smiled, almost softly, "You will do well to raise my children. I am in your debt."
All at once, Diana was suddenly the mother of three and someone the Master of Time owed a debt too.
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Diana had not expected to find three children in her home. Yes, she expected to find three individuals, but she had at least expected infants. Not three children who's ages varied.
"Hello..." The middle of the three said, blue eyes, black hair, scrawny and small.
"Hello." She softly said, looking around her apartment before crouching in front of the children with the softest smile she could ever give. "I am Diana. Could you give me your names, little ones?"
"Dante." The eldest of the three, with blue eyes that flashed red, grunted.
"Daniel but I go by Danny." The middle smiled, then gestures to the toddler that clung to Dante. "This one is Danielle but she likes to be called Ellie."
The girl waved at her, rosy cheeks with blue eyes pile her brothers.
"Clockwork said we had to come to you because our sister couldn't keep us in the realms. We're sorry for the trouble." Danny grimaces, genuinely apologetic and clasping his hands together.
"I told that bastard that we didn't need to be deaged or anything. But no! He kept saying that we needed a vacation or whatever." Dante scoffed, rolling his eyes before adjusting little Elle in his arms.
Diana saw the discomfort on the eldest's expression as he tried to adjust his little sister in his arms. She offered her service to him, gesturing for Dante to give the toddler to her, bur she received a growl and a glare from crimson eyes.
One of the boys was the king of the infinite realms turned into a child. The prophecy had clearly stated that the king would be joined by his sister and brother, so the possibility of little Ellie being the king was void. So it was between the boys then.
"Don't be mean, Dan! Miss Diana is already trying her best right now. I'll tell Clockwork and Aunt Pandora that you're being mean to their favorite." Danny snapped, swatting his brother's shoulders.
"It is alright, your majesties."
"Oh!" Danny flushed red, "No need for that. You don't have to!" He insisted, "I'm not king at the moment since Jasmine demanded we were given a break... I just didn't think that a break meant going through a new human cycle."
Diana's eyes softened, so Daniel was king. "I see... I do not mind being your caretaker, little ones. I have friends who have children, and I have found myself rather envious of them. Truthfully, I never expected to beae children myself but... My mother lost the ability to have one herself, and yet she made me from clay."
Dante nodded, "We've heard of your story. It's quite beautiful how your mother loved you so much, even when you were nothing but a dream... But she managed to make you reality with that love. It's quite inspiring."
Danny soon explained, "Our mortal mother died many years ago. She and our father were ghosts, citizens of the infinite realms before my siblings and I encouraged them to follow through with reincarnation. We would have had our eldest sister do the same, but she is more stubborn than our parents." The fond smile on his lips was one tinged by melancholy and longing.
Diana realized that these children were ripped away from what they called home, forced by their own sister for their sakes. Immortal monarchs were thought to be all powerful, undying and never needing rest.
Diana herself saw it as such, with how Zeus refused to relinquish his throne, of how his siblings and children attempted to usurp him the same way he did with Kronos.
But the royals of the infinite realms seemed to be of a different breed. The dead who were once mortal, living, before time caught up to them and their existences were given to the realms. That humanity seemed to be what made the Ghostly royals to be so... Extraordinary. Because it was clear to Diana that the regent Jasmine loved her kingly brother and royal siblings with all her heart. Especially when she was willing to sit upon the throne, carry the burden of monarch, for a life time. All because she wanted them to be given a chance at happiness.
Diana has heard stories of the realms, of how the previous king, a tyran named Pariah Dark, was defeated. Phantom became king through conquest and it was rumoured he had still been a child, still alive and only half dead, when he was given the crown.
"Well then..." She cleared her throat, smiling softly. "I hope that you will be able to live comfortably with me, little ones. I will not force you to see me as a mother, but I will do everything I can to be a proper caretaker. I will love and cherish you the same way my mother and sister did."
That statement alone seemed to have affected the three, enough that Dante relaxed.
The second time Diana tried to take Ellie from his arms, Dante sis not resist. He carefully tucked his sister into her arms, showing her how she liked to be held.
Ellie giggled, reach up to her and nuzzling her cheek against Diana's chest.
"Adorable." She whispered, kissing the little girl's forehead before turning back to her brothers. "May I know how old you currently are?"
"Physically or chronologically?"
Diana chuckled, "Physically."
"I'm ten. Danny's eight and Ellie's two." Dante explained, pointing to them each whenever he spoke. "But chronologically, we're around... Actually, I don't know. Time in the realms and time here is different. It's also different from our earth. So..."
"Ah, no need to explain if it's too confusing. I understand that time flows differently for everyone. Let us just say that you've existed for a few centuries, yes? Keep it vague for everyone else." Diana grinned, already thinking of how Batman would be utterly perplexed by that.
"Well then, let us get you settled in, yes? Unfortunately, I only have one guest room." Diana frowned, cooing at little Elle that tried to wiggle our of her grasp, "I was planning on moving soon since this part of Paris is a little too loud for me."
A little white lie. She'd have to ask Bruce for help of finding a new space in a short time.
The three looked suspicious, skeptical, and already feeling guilty. Diana was quick to act, ushering them to their rooms, asking them if they've eaten and what they'd like for dinner if not.
Aside from a new place, she needed to acquire herself some parenting books. Yes. Lots and lots of parenting books, especially if her children were eldritch beings.
Maybe Bruce had more experience in that field.
No, Diana, do not think like that. You're a mother now.
Especially when she was the mother of three while Bruce was only parenting one child. Though said child was now a rather rebellious fifteen year old.
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Masterpost
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rui-drawsbox · 4 months ago
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ruri,,, but in keyframes by @blank-house (again) ((help im obsessed this is not a joke))
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buttercupshands · 19 hours ago
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*looking at isat ss discord* my power of being silly got out of control
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or how I tried understanding rpg maker basics by literally trying to do one (1) thing I really wanted to see ever since seeing Loop unused sprites lying on wiki months ago
the reason I mentioned isat ss discord was simply bc guys were the first people who saw me trying to draw close to pixel sprite face sprite for Loop to,,, do something at some point just to see how it works
and nope I'm not making this into anything, but I really like the fact that I managed to do this
(now with video post edited into this sentence!)
#the Start and the Epilogue is still planned as a visual novel in my head#I got myself rpg maker to make my thing later which is entirely not related to isat (I already showed my OCs involved in that)#isat shitpost#isat spoilers#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat head housemaiden#that one post about voices difference in isat really helped as it is a bit confusing otherwise#I learn by taking apart stuff - that's how I learn#and how I analyze too#break down the character break down the game to the point of literal out-of-bounds make it all make sense in your head#as my head REALLY likes to complicate AND simplify things#basically this was both#also I have a newfound admiration of rpg games as planning ALL this is honestly so cool#like you need to have EXTREMELY clear picture of what you see otherwise it'll break and you won't be able to fix it properly#also Loop's sprite was flying for so long before I understood the problem and it was funny as hell tbh#also they're not in my Seafoam design bc I was... honestly a bit too tired to make new sprites#so I jsut changed soe details on the ones I already looked over and called it a day for now#I'm sleepy and this silly thing took me 3-4 hours and it's like 3 seconds long#but to be fair I was confused for first 2 hours#anyway shout out to isat ss discord and a happy Loop Wednesday (it's 1 am of 5th so it IS a Loop Wednesday)#not art#sillied too hard#I also accidentally softlocked myself by putting Loop nest to Head Housemaiden so they're a bit futher from her#two hats spoilers#I FORGOT that tag
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yuwuta · 7 months ago
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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Hi! I drew a little fanart of your MDZS Warrior Cats AU 👉👈 This is how I see the first time Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet as teenagers aka the iconic fight on the roof from the donghua XD
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Get Booped Idiot!
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a resolution (part 5)
Content Warning: violence, self-harm
prev - next
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fastsalad · 5 months ago
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my favorite scene in any movie ever is that scene in Maurice (1987) where Maurice has Hugh Grant in his lap in the most awkward position and they're stroking each others hair longingly while not making eye contact and then suddenly a dozen drunk british college boys break down the door chanting "TEA! TEA! WE DEMAND TEA!!!" changed my life forever.
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lunarharp · 11 months ago
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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wickjump · 2 months ago
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(​but don’t just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you can’t tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if it’s embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. it’s so hard to write. people don’t give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didn’t include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. that’s 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because there’s#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! that’s a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if it’s a silly comment it’s loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#that’s the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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sebeztappen · 5 months ago
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🗣️ can you imagine marc marquez on a ducati | mm93 — you can't break me (domination)
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curioscurio · 1 year ago
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Sorry I haven't been as active lately!! I got both a job and a banging girlfriend in the first week of 2024 so there's been little time for art or shitposting but!! Things are looking up for once and I'm super proud of all the hard work I've put into getting here! Im really happy right now! 2024 is the year of the Cassie (wario for luck)
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nyoomerr · 9 months ago
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JIN LAN CITY TIME LOOP IM SOOOOOO CHIN ON HANDS FOR IT
IT'S ON MY LIST TO WRITE!! unfortunately that list is three pages long... orz....
but the idea of lbh keeping sqq trapped in the loop, all while sqq doesn't know that lbh is experiencing the loop with him, is soooo tasty.
lbh would be unable to move on from sqq's death, refusing to part from the last moments sqq was alive until he's able to find a way to end the loop without sqq self destructing. does he know that sqq is looping with him? does he want to know, when every loop sqq turns away from him, condemns him, and then still dies? could lbh bear to know that sqq is making those same choices over and over and over?
it isn't for us to know! after all, all we have is sqq's pov, and he only knows of himself in this loop. what reason do we have to doubt him? the system has done wackier stuff, and we've all read "just like a monkey, i've been dancing my whole life." to us, sqq is clearly just stuck in this loop until he finds a way to reconcile with lbh.
meanwhile, sqq's desperation to escape the loop would only heighten with every iteration, and sqq's "escape" plans all rely on his own death. lbh's qi deviation would come earlier and earlier, and his mental stability would grow even more brittle, and -
and by the time sqq has reached the point of just giving up and doing whatever lbh wants, lbh isn't in the headspace to accept that. all lbh can do is keep the loop running.
and oh, sqq, what else is there to do? isn't the final, most desperate act to get out of a time loop to confess to someone else that the loop is happening?
wouldn't it most make sense if the person who must hear that confession is lbh?
...oh, sqq, lbh already knows.
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buttercupshands · 10 months ago
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Happy (almost belated) Birthday, Tenko Shimura!
wanted to draw something light after... you know 419...
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strangersteddierthings · 2 years ago
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Porcelain Steve - Part 7
Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine
((TW for this part; period typical slurs and internalized homophobia. Read the tags before clicking readmore if you want the details))
Steve has been a porcelain doll for seven weeks when disaster strikes.
"What is that," Jeff says, because even though the words are in an order which would suggest that it's a question, the tone of voice Jeff uses decidedly is not questioning.
"What is whaaa-AH! Nothing! It's nothing!" Eddie, who was torso deep into his closet throwing things around to find his backup amp cord, turns to look at what Jeff was talking about, and is now launching himself across his room to stand between Jeff and Porcelain Steve. Porcelain Steve, who Eddie had lain on his bed, propped slightly on a pillow, headphones carefully perched on his little head, hooked to a cassette player currently playing the first hour of last week's Top 40 countdown that Eddie had taped for him (all three hours of it, leaving out the chatter of the radio show host. He'd had to use two tapes to get it all).
"Nothing sure looks a lot like a doll in headphones, Munson," Jeff has an amazing poker face but Eddie's certain he can see a bit of judgement underneath the carefully blank expression Jeff is wearing.
"I don't know what you're talking abo- hey! Hey, no, no, don't!" Eddie tries to bodily block Jeff when he moves forward and the two end up wrestling, a match that Eddie almost wins, if not for the hazard that is his messy room. He gets Jeff walked almost to the door before he steps wrong on something, ankle rolling and sending him down sideways. He clutches at Jeff but can't make purchase and Jeff, the bastard, does fuck-all to try and catch him. Instead, Jeff leaps out of arm's length, then lunges onto the bed as Eddie collapses to his floor.
Eddie frantically tries to stand and, in his haste, ends up with his feet tangled in a pile of dirty laundry and that sends him crashing down again, this time forward onto his hands and knees, so he gives up on standing and crawls the few short feet to the bed, finally looking up to see that the damage has been done.
Jeff has picked up Steve, holding him inches from his own face, eyes squinted in suspicion. Eddie is frozen, horrified and afraid, and can't bring himself to do anything as Jeff examines Steve closely, turning him around, poking his torso, flipping him upside down to examine his shoes more thoroughly. It's only when Jeff reached for the shirt, pinching the hem of it between two fingers that Eddie kicks back into action.
He lunges up, one knee on the bed, leaning over to grab Steve and yank him from Jeff's grip. His first instinct is to throw Steve over his shoulder, out of sight out of mind mentality, but as soon as he does, he realizes his mistake and twists, lunging to catch Steve in midair. He does manage to catch Steve, but it sends him bouncing off his dresser and almost back to the floor before he manager to regain his balance, where he proceeds to cradle Steve to his chest, which is heaving from the adrenaline, wrestling match, and subsequent dive after Steve.
Jeff is giving him a concerned look but something else piques his interest; Jeff reaches over and picks up the headphones, holding them up to one ear. His face goes through every emotion a human could possibly experience in less than fifteen seconds as he listens to whatever track was at the forty-ish minute mark on the Top 40 countdown.
Slowly, Jeff lowers the headphones, letting them drop to the bed before he gives Eddie a new, more judgmental, yet infinitely more concerned, look. "Eddie. What. The fuck."
Honestly, he's not sure there's anything he can say in response.
"Why- I don't... are you okay, man?" Jeff sounds both scared for Eddie, and scared of him, at the same time.
"I'm fine," Eddie manages to squeak out.
"Eddie," Jeff says seriously, "this is not fine. This is- this is insane behavior. You know that, right?"
"I've no idea what you mean," Eddie doesn't even know what he's defending himself from but his default response to anything is to defend himself. He grips Steve tightly around the torso with one hand and then moves both his hands to be behind his back so Jeff will stop staring at Steve.
"I mean this fuckin' insane shrine you have dedicated to Steve fucking Harrington. How did you even get a doll that looks like him. Did you- did you make that?"
Fuck. Holy fuck. What can he say to defend himself here? Is there a single way for him to come out of this not sounding deranged? If he agrees, let's Jeff's drawn conclusion be the truth, then that's all but confirmation to Steve about his big fat crush, so when Steve's back to being Steve he'll never look at Eddie again. Jeff might think he needs mental help, but he'll be here for Eddie. If he tries to deny the accusation, then he'll need an explanation. He'll have to tell Jeff something that make him seem less like a creepy stalker, but what? He can't tell the truth, not without letting everyone know he's going to tell Jeff. There's a whole other secret he'd have to let out to even have a chance of Jeff believing him.
Jeff must take his silence for acceptance or guilt, because he's speaking again. "I.... man, this is not healthy. Please tell me you aren't, like, hoarding a lock of his hair or his clothes or something."
Involuntarily, damningly, his eyes dart to the closet, where several of Steve's sweaters hang from when he'd borrowed them and never returned them. And it's not like Steve doesn't have several of Eddie's own articles of clothing, like his battle vest and a few shirts. But Jeff doesn't know they easily, willingly, swap clothes, so his eyes go wide and dart towards the closet, as if he can pick out which pieces belong to Steve on sight.
Actually, he probably can.
"This really isn't what it looks like," Eddie says because he has to say something. Being silent is too incriminating.
"I don't think you're aware of what this looks like," Jeff says, wiggling himself off of Eddie's bed to stand at the foot of it. "Of all the boys in Hawkins.... I knew you liked Steve but this is.... creepy. That doll looks so much like him that I recognized it. Does Steve know you're in love with him, or is this like a way to process your crush without having to-"
"Jeff!" Eddie yells, mortified. He can feel his whole face heat up, knows he must be bright red. Because Jeff just said, out loud and for Steve to hear, the thing that Eddie very much hasn't even said out loud to himself, even if he knows how he feels deep down.
Jeff must know he's overstepped some invisible boundary he wasn't even aware of because his face immediately shows regret. He takes a step forward and Eddie takes a step back.
Immediately, Jeff stops his forward momentum. "Shit, I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm sorry."
When Eddie answers, his voice sounds like he's been eating gravel, "Just, can you go wait in the living room? I'll be right out, and we can talk, or whatever, but can you just..."
A nod, and then Jeff is gone, closing the door behind him.
With shaking hands, Eddie brings Steve back to the front of him. Looks down at him. He's not even aware he's crying until he watches his tears mark Steve's tiny polo. He can't keep holding Steve. Can't keep looking at him. Not when- not when his best friend just outed him in the worst way possible. And Eddie can't even be upset or hurt about it because Jeff didn't know. He's teased Eddie about his crushes before, and in the safety of his own room, there was no reason for Jeff to have to watch what he was saying.
Even knowing that Steve is okay with Robin, loves her anyway, without the ability to confirm that Steve doesn't hate him right now, Eddie's going to freak out. But he can't. Jeff is waiting in the living room, and the band is waiting back at Gareth's. This was just- they were supposed to just grab the amp cable and get back, a fifteen-minute job at most, and now.
Now Eddie is staring down at Steve, willing himself to not have a panic attack.
"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have heard it like that, it s-should have come from me. It should- you-I'm sorry," Eddie gently underhand throws Steve onto the center of the bed. He lands face up and Eddie sinks to the floor because he can't stand anymore, and he can't really breath.
Steve knows Eddie's a fucking faggot now, and that he wants Steve, and there's no way he'll get to keep the friendship they had before this. There's no universe in which Steve isn't creeped out by this information. There has never been an instance where a straight boy found out about his crush on them and didn't abandon him. Not always cruelly, he'll admit. He's had friends that learned and just... slid from his life with no words and no fuss. Eddie just never spoke to them again because they never came back around, but they also never outed him.
That's what will happen with him and Steve. He'll quit inviting Eddie around, or calling when he's bored, and eventually it will get to the point that Eddie only sees him at BBQ's that Joyce drags him to.
Fuck. FUCK!
He's not sure how long he's on the floor but eventually, he finds the will to get back up and resume digging through his closet to find the amp cord. It doesn't take long, he was ridiculously close to finding it earlier, it seems.
Before leaving his room, he picks back up the cassette player and headphones. Silence comes from them, so he pops the tape out before flipping it to the B side and popping it back in. He puts the headphones around Steve's head again and presses play, doing his best to not actually look at Steve. He'll just have another breakdown if he does.
He trudges out of his room, closing the door behind himself before taking the short walk to the living room, where Jeff waiting on the couch, elbows on his knees, fingers steepled under his chin, eyes faraway as he stares towards the wall in front of him.
"Hey," Eddie says, to get his attention.
"Hey," Jeff says, sitting up straight and turning towards Eddie. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing? I'm the fucking psycho here," he sighs, leaning sideways against the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest, hand clutching at the amp cord just for something to ground him.
"Forget that, whatever I did, or said, or whatever, you were- when you yelled my name. You looked terrified. Of me," Jeff almost whispers the last sentence, and if not for the stark silence in the trailer, Eddie wouldn't have heard.
"Not of you, Jeff," Eddie whispers back, but his voice doesn't stay quiet because 'quiet' isn't a thing Eddie does easily or often. "Of... of myself, and these- of how I feel- I'm a goddamned faggot and now that Ste- when Steve finds out I'll lose him! Like I've lost every fucking person who ever even suspected I was a fuckin' queer!"
Silence stretches between them, enough to make Eddie fidget, dropping his crossed arms to twist the amp cord about anxiously with both his hands.
"Look, man, I don't know what's, like, the appropriate thing to say so I'm just going for the honest thing. You got me. You'll never lose me. And all those other assholes that you think you lost? You're wrong. They lost you. And if Steve Harrington is gonna be another one of those, then you aren't losing him. 'Cause he was never really in your corner to begin with."
If this were anyone else, with the exception of his uncle, he would be able to hold it together better. But it's Jeff. His best friend. Who never believed Eddie committed unspeakable horrors over Spring Break last year. Who didn't question the strange, new friends he suddenly had afterwards; who accepted as the only explanation a softly spoken 'they saved me' and that was enough. Who had said 'ok, cool' in response to Eddie telling him he was gay, years ago now, and continued trying to find out if Eddie had a secret relationship, switching girlfriend for boyfriend like it wasn't a big deal (Eddie did not have a secret relationship; his good mood that week was the result of snooping for his birthday present and finding the guitar hidden under his uncle bed).
It's Jeff. So, Eddie does the most metal, manly thing he can and bursts into tears, blindly reaching for Jeff and pulling him off the couch so he can bear hug him and sob into his shirt.
"There, there, you big baby," Jeff rubs his back soothingly, "let it out. Then pull your sorry ass together, because Gareth and Brian are going to think we died in a car crash on the way here if we take much longer."
"Ah, fuck," Eddie manager to say around the sniffling he's trying to get control of, "you're right."
"You good, though?"
"Uh, I will be."
Jeff nods and steps back. "How about this. We go to practice, and then you can come to my place tonight and we can like, hangout and talk. If that's what you want."
He's already nodding as he says, "yeah. That would be good. I- uh, I have something to do after practice, but yeah, after that I'll come over."
Eddie tosses the amp cable to Jeff after they climb into the van and head off.
Halfway there, Jeff says, "you know Gareth and Brian are in your corner, too. If you ever feel like telling them one day."
"One day," Eddie agrees, "but today has already been... a lot."
Practice goes well, with some ribbing for their tardiness allowed. If Gareth and Brian notice Eddie's been crying recently, they keep it to themselves. Which is good, because Eddie cannot handle one more thing today.
A promise to meet up with Jeff later and Eddie's back home.
Back to where he left Steve, who will be laying in silence on his bed because it's been well over two hours since he and Jeff left, and the tape only held an hours' worth of music on each side. Back to the nightmare of not knowing if Steve hates him now, or if Eddie's, and this is the most likely scenario, being a bit overdramatic.
His uncle is home, so he greets him, asks after his day, gets told dinner is Fend For Yourself Night (which just means leftovers or a TV dinner), and gets asked about Steve. Because of course he does.
"You sure he went on a vacation willingly with those parents of his, and he ain't actually kidnapped and trapped somewhere?"
That's a little bit too true. If only Wayne knew. "Well, no. I'm not sure. All I know is what he said when he left."
Wayne gives him a look. One Eddie is used to seeing, that says 'I know more than you think but I'm waiting for you to tell me' and Eddie's a little afraid of what Wayne thinks he knows. So, instead of prying that box open, Eddie just says he's tired and goes to his room.
Steve is exactly where Eddie left him.
Suddenly, without reason or logic, Eddie is angry. He's so pissed at Steve for being gone for this long. For having transformed in the first place. For not being able to assure him they'll still be friends, regardless of Eddie's stupid crush.
He snatches Steve off the bed, hand clamping around one of Steve's arms and his torso so he can hold him up with one hand. Steve's face, permanently stuck into a blank expression, looks back. Even knowing that Steve sees and hears through this thing, Eddie's so angry at the doll. If Steve hadn't been turned into this stupid thing, if Eddie wasn't so helplessly in love with him, this wouldn't have happened. Eddie could have taken his own time telling Steve, instead of hearing his deepest secret spilled easily from Jeff's lips. Instead of this not knowing what Steve is thinking, or how he feels. Is he recoiling in disgust at the fact Eddie's making him look at his face? Or is Eddie being awarded the same kindness as Robin, a quiet acceptance that won't change their friendship?
Eddie doesn't know that answer and he hates it.
He's so angry with himself because he should know better. He's forcing his own insecurities onto Steve, about acceptance and caring, when nothing Steve's done since they've become friends is prove that he'll always be Eddie's friend and not even the apocalypse could change that.
"I'm going to hang out with Jeff, so you're gonna be alone a bit longer. Or maybe I should drop you off at Robin's when I go," Eddie goes to toss Steve back on the bed when something pinches his palm. It's a startling sharp pain, quick to fade, but it's surprising enough for Eddie to let go.
Eddie watches, horrified, as he falls to the floor. He twists in the air, landing with a dull thump and cracking sound on his left arm before falling onto his back.
"Shit. Shit! Fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Eddie is crouched, already in the process of reaching for Steve when he freezes.
There is a crack on Steve's left arm, a line that starts above his elbow on the inside of his arm and runs down and across his arm to his hand, where Steve's pinky finger is gone. Looking slightly to the side, Eddie can see the small porcelain piece that Steve is missing laying on the ground next to him. Eddie's own hand is hovering in the air above Steve, shaking.
This can't be- how did- Eddie wracks his brain. Was the crack there already? Did Eddie cause the crack when he bounced off his dresser earlier? When did it happen? Does that fucking matter when it's Eddie who broke a piece off him? If Steve didn't hate him before, he's got to now. Eddie doesn't have time to panic about this, he's got to- El. El can talk to Steve. Find out if he's okay. What if breaking him-
Eddie launches himself up and to his dresser, grabbing at the Walkie up there. He pulls the antenna up, clicks it on and tries not to actually shout as he says, "Code Red! Code fucking Red!" He lets off the talk button, counts to seven in his head, enough time, he reasons, for someone to respond before he repeats the process. "Code Red!! Code Red!"
He repeats this process for three minutes with no response. Where the fuck is everyone!? How is he supposed to- Oh! The phone!
He tears down the hall and to the phone. He must look a right state, because Wayne looks very concerned and is halfway to standing up when Eddie gets to the phone beside him. He yanks the phone up and dials the number for the Byers-Hopper household, holding up a shaking finger to Wayne, a silent plea to give him a moment.
It rings and rings and rings before the answering machine kicks in. Eddie presses down on the disconnect button before dialing the Wheelers' number next.
"Hello?"
"Mike! Code Red! Where the fuck is everyone and why aren't they answering!?"
"What?"
"Code Red! Where's Nancy. Put Nancy on."
"Dude, slow down, what's-"
"I broke St-it. I broke it and someone needs to get El here now. Code Red does not mean ask questions, Mike! It means Code. Fucking. Red."
"Shit, shit, right! I'll get Nancy and we'll get everyone- just- we'll be there soon."
Eddie slams the phone down and has to meet his uncle's eye now.
"Eddie. What is goin' on?"
Eddie inhales a breath and can feel his lower lip quivering. "It's- can we talk about it later? I promise I'm not the one hurt, or in trouble, or- it's not me, ok. I just-"
"Yer shakin' like a leaf boy. What's got you so spooked?"
Eddie just shakes his head and flees back to his room, slamming the door shut between him and his uncle. He can't bring himself to cross the room to Steve. He slides himself down the door to sit on the floor, pulling his knees up to hug.
"I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm sorry."
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