#it's much easier to pretend that poor people are bad at budgeting

[smute]

whenever i see "poor people shouldn't have [thing]" discourse i always think back to about ten years ago when i had just been fired from my shitty airport job and i was waiting for my unemployment benefits to be processed and couldn't pay the rent.

because i was desperate, proud, and stuck in that same "if you're poor you cant have nice things" mind prison, i made the very difficult decision to give up my favorite hobby and sold my dslr and camera gear for i believe 700 or 800€ (under value of course since i was in a bad position to negotiate). my camera was the most (the only) valuable item in my possession, so in that moment of crisis it was a no-brainer to get rid of it. could i have asked my friends and family for help? of course. not that any one of them would have been able to pay my full rent, but with combined efforts im sure i could have made it through that month somehow. but because i was desperate and proud and needlessly judgmental of myself, i sold my stuff to a very nice guy (im sure he was ecstatic about having made the deal of a lifetime).

now. 800€ is a lot of money. of course it was a big help. i could finally pay my rent and i was able to get my bank account out of the red. but the thing is... in the end, it was just barely enough. the following month my unemployment money came in and i found a new job soon after that, but ultimately, the sacrifice of giving up something that had been such a big part of my life, something that had brought me so much joy, was out of all proportion to the financial relief it brought me. it literally bought me another month with a roof over my head, and i guess the comfort of being able to tell myself that i'd "tried everything" before asking anyone for help. and thats it. just one month later i was back to square one – job, apartment, just enough money to make ends meet – only with one less thing to do in my free time.

[morgana-ren]

Pale Imitation

The front page of any porn site is always a marriage of humorous and disturbing, but he can honestly say he wasn’t expecting to see his name at the top of any list that had a direct connection to satiating someone’s libido, yet there it was, plain as day on the top ten.

He didn’t think of himself as particularly narcissistic, but this he had to see.

Rating: E

Warnings: Porn, Masturbation, Yandere, Stalker Shigaraki, Shigaraki is a total creep, Rough sex, Noncon Fantasy/Roleplay

Preemptive Note: Before you continue I just want to note: I'm not a sex worker but I have nothing but the highest regard and respect for them. What ensues in this story is pure kink and fantasy and is not meant to reinforce any harmful/mean stereotypes what so ever. My personal fantasy is degradation and I can't really seem to get off without it so it's a majority of what I write, but I swear to you it was not written with the intent to insult or hurt anyone in the profession! I realize the hardships endured by the men/women/NB/GN in the adult sex work profession and this is just intended to be a pure sexual fantasy and is by no means attempting to reinforce or normalize toxic behaviors in the workplace.

Bad wig? Check .

Poor voice imitation? Check .

Shoddy, unsealed makeup that sloughs off onto the unfortunate scene partner’s skin? Check .

All the tell-tale signs of a bad porno but with one distinct peculiarity that drew his interest.

You know, this certainly wasn’t what he was expecting to see when he settled in for his first nightly wank. The front page of any porn site is always a marriage of humorous and disturbing, but he can honestly say he wasn’t expecting to see his name at the top of any list that had a direct connection to satiating someone’s libido, yet there it was, plain as day on the top ten.

He’s no stranger to the villain kink page. Tons of civilians indulged in their darker fantasies through their nighttime excursions below their pantyline, and being a villain himself, naturally he was curious. Most of it is about what he’d expect. Villains, ancient and new, participating in copulation of all sorts. Some of it is that extremely out of character slow and romantic pornography. Other times, strangely enough, it’s the villains themselves getting taken advantage of. Sometimes by heroes, other times by random people, objects, or even tentacles. It’s interesting, to say the least.

Him though? He’d never seen himself in one, let alone being featured on the front page.

Up until recently, the media and all it’s sinful offshoots had opted to ignore him. However, his recent exploits must’ve caught the attention of the general public, and alongside it, the licentious denizens that dwell within. There had been a few forum posts, a little fan art (most of it flattering), and even a few oddly obsessive fangirls he’d come across. But this? Oh, now this was a whole new caliber.

He didn’t think of himself as particularly narcissistic, but this he had to see.

The guy they’d hired to play him was naturally a flat disappointment; Too bulky, and way too short. He could tell there was a classically handsome man underneath all that poorly done makeup that was meant to make him look pallid and dry. A sad, pathetic, and pale imitation of the real thing, missing some of his scars and moles entirely. The ashy gray wig they used to try to mimic his shaggy, unkempt hair had an awkward cowlick and kept flopping down too far on the actor’s forehead and looked far more dead than even his own unwashed mop. The voice he was using to mimic him was strained and scratchy, far too forced to be comfortable or even remotely realistic. If he had to place it, it sounded like the guy already had a terribly sore throat and had continued yelling for several hours to achieve the ‘desired’ effect.

He hadn’t expected much, but it was still disappointing. Though to be fair, they nailed the clothing, minus the brand of shoes he wears and the exact coat he’d chosen as his signature.

A part of him was ready to shut it off. Whatever lies ahead could only be utterly insulting, right? This grotesque pastiche lifelessly parroting his mannerisms was already curbing his sexual appetite toward something more violent, and not in the way he liked. Yet, out of sheer curiosity, he kept watching. What exactly did the average screenwriting porn cinematographer think he was into anyway?

It was a little ambiguous at first. At least until the shaky camera followed the Walmart brand Shigaraki knock-off down a generic hallway and into a borderline barren room, bringing into frame a quaking young woman tied up on a filthy mattress. After that, it became very quickly apparent just what type of smut he’d stumbled onto.

The camera zooms in on her face, tears leaking from her eyes and leaving trails of thick black makeup and mascara trailing down her cheeks, her begging and pleading muffled by a rag hastily stuffed in her mouth and secured with what appeared to be a bandana tied around her head. She’s clad in nothing but a flimsy tank top with the straps yanked down over her shoulders and a small pair of lace panties, covered in what appears to be made up lacerations and fake bruising. A nice touch, he notes.

He’ll admit, he’s intrigued now. It looks like they got one thing about him right, perhaps two now that he inspects the adult actress hired to play his unfortunate victim. She’s flattering, far more flattering than he expected given the low budget circumstances. Her watery eyes and quaking body coupled with the slight rope burn embedding into her chafing skin is enough to get his legs stirring and his pants tightening. She looks so pretty, so vulnerable behind all the waterworks and thick stage makeup. He thinks, just maybe, he might be able to get into this if he hyper focuses on her.

As his imposter approaches, she pushes her bound legs out, squishing herself back against the wall and as far away as she can manage from the threat encroaching on her personal space.

“Heroes can’t save you now.”

The shallow mockery of his voice grates at his ears, but he’ll admit the comment is on brand. The actor harshly yanks the bandana out of the woman’s mouth, her pouty lips trembling as she begins to grovel, blinking more tears down her swollen cheeks.

“I-I’m sorry! Please just let me go! I won’t tell anyone anything!”

All things considered, she’s convincing enough to get his blood pumping. Tomura readjusts himself in his chair, reaching his hands beneath the band of his sweatpants. If he can ignore her counterpart, he thinks watching her squirm and squeal will get him off. After all, it’s supposed to be ‘him’ violating this cute girl. Maybe if he defocuses his eyes enough, he can pretend it really is.

“I’m going to show you how much of a villain I really am!”

Ugh . Whoever wrote this dialogue clearly had never met him, or probably any real villain for that matter. It’s enough to make him want to retch, but the feel of his own hand on his cock and the soft whimpering of the actress  as the villain stand-in strips off his coat brings him back and makes him throb. The camera moves in to offer her a close up, face dropping and eyes widening in horror as she comes to the “realization” of what he means.

“No! Please! Anything but that!”

She kicks at him, trying to fend him off with bound limbs as he crawls over her onto the bed. A harsh slap to the side of her cheek is enough to quiet her down and allow the assailant to cage her to the bed with one hand, the other clumsily fumbling with the buttons of his jeans. After he shimmies his ill fitting skinny jeans down his thighs, she looks at him with eyes widened in horror, shaking her head erratically.

“No! Please Mister Shigaraki, it’s too big! It won’t fit!”

A hand far too burly to be his wraps around her neck, pointer finger plucked awkwardly upward. “Quiet! You’re my prisoner and you’ll do as I say!”

Just ignore it.

The free hand goes to grab at her tank top, a brief but noticeable pause in the filming leaves her topless with stage prop ash sprinkled along her torso, the ropes around her wiggling legs conveniently gone now. While the cinematic effect was laughably bad, Tomura can’t bring himself to care. Not when her tits are now on display for him to ogle.

Chest bare and heaving, perfect nipples perked to attention just for him. Smooth, creamy skin goose pimpled and tender, so tempting that he's aching to feel her. A quick swipe of his thumb over his sensitive, spongy tip elicits a rumbled groan from deep in his chest. It’s easier now to ignore the shitty portrayal of himself, especially when he can lose himself to the throes of lust and pretend that it actually is his hands wrapped around her little throat, other fingers drifting lower and lower down her trembling belly.

A quick hook around the seam of her panties and they’re ripped clean from her hips, legs splayed and leaving her pussy center frame, already wet and glistening. He swallows hard, the sight enough to make him salivate. She fumbles around beneath him, desperate to buck him off, but it’s to no avail. Fingers, his fingers, tease the entrance to her tight little hole, slipping one finger, and then two inside, oscillating in and out preparing her to take all of him. Just like she said, he’s so big. He doesn’t want to hurt her, not like that.

After that, it’s all too easy for him to slip into his fantasy. He strokes his cock in tandem with the pumping of the fingers, pausing only briefly as the girl mewls as the fingers slip out and the tip of his cock is aligned with her little entrance. He pistons his own hips as it slams inside, head reeling back on the edge of his chair.

The high pitched whine that escapes her throat as the fake buries himself deep inside has him biting his lip, slowing his hand by force on his shaft. Fuck, even her moans are hot. Her bouncing tits and staggered breathing as his imposter rails into her has him enraptured. The subtle way she leans into the hand on her throat, back arched off the filthy mattress, face expressing clear distress but body betraying her clever act.

It matters little that she’s being paid to partake in the scene with ‘him’. The fact she was open to it says more than he could have hoped to know, and clearly she’s enjoying the treatment. His hazy eyes focus in on her face, working his hand harder with every little nuance she gifts him. The twitch of arms as her nails imbed themselves into her palms, the parting of her moist lips. He’d be willing to bet her tongue could work magic, taking him all the way to the back of her throat. God, she’d look so cute like that. Hands tied behind her back, a sloppy, drooling mess around his dick.

“S-Shigaraki! You’re too rough!”

The hand clamped around her throat tightens, her final word more of a croak.

“You like it, you little slut!”

At least there’s one thing him and this mediocre porn actor can agree on; she certainly does like it. Rolling her hips against him and wailing in a way that has him wonderfully immersed in his fantasy. Hearing his name on those sighs only strengthen his hold, he can practically feel the warmth of her skin, indulge himself in the wet, clenching tightness of her cunt.

It’s fucking insulting that this trash gets to wear his skin, steal his countenance to fuck her. It should be him. If this whelp could get her all hot and bothered, just imagining what the real thing could do sends the remaining blood reserves rushing between his thighs, prick pulsing even harder in his palm. Yeah, he could get this little bitch squealing. She’d fucking like it too, judging by the look on her face as she gets plowed by a man wearing his visage.

Oh, he’d make her scream. Leave real bruising in place of that cheap costume makeup they’d so lazily applied to her naked form. Truth be told, the video itself was rather boring. He’d only kept watching because of how enraptured he was with the little witch being stuffed full of cock by his imitation. He’d never really been taken with an adult actress before but this one? Oh yes, he could really get into her.

He wasn’t sure what it was about her. So pretty to him, so deliciously pliable, so completely worked up about a villain using her as a toy, pumping in and out of her warm little pussy until he fills her with his hot cum and she’s overflowing with every fluid thrust. Sweet, sensitive neck exposed just for him to bite and abuse. Face stained with tears, puffy cheeks just aching to be squeezed and smacked. Probably tastes like rapture, eager to swallow whatever he decides to spill into her mouth.

And she could take it. He just knows it. Bent over for him, any hole he pleases free for him to use, hand-shaped welts raising on the swell of her ass. Fingers fisting her hair and arching that cute face back to look directly at him as he spits between her open and waiting lips. She’d swallow it like a good girl, just like a good girl, he knows she would.

He works himself faster, his own breathy whines joining the cacophony of licentiousness that echoes in his eardrums. His imagination shifts into overdrive, clumsy, irregular strokes of his hand tenting and deflating the crotch of his sweats. Soft, pillowy tits bulging through his fingertips as he kneads them, sucking on those tender nipples until they harden just for him. Fucking her mouth until her lips are swollen and red, face covered in a mixture of drool and cum with lipstick smeared around her cheeks. Legs locked around his narrow waist as he slams into her repeatedly, chanting his name and begging him incoherently not to stop, never to stop.

“P-please don’t cum inside me! Please- I-“

Oh, he’d cum deep inside. He’ll cum anywhere he wants on his little whore until it’s slick and dripping. He’ll tie her up, smudging it across her broken expression and let it dry nice and thick. Slip his cum covered thumb into her mouth and then ignore her until her thighs are grinding together and she’s begging for his thick cock again, any way he wants her.

Fuck- fuck she’d love it too. Ride him until each slap of her ass on his bony hips made his cock punch hard against her cervix, crying in pleasure and pain but never stopping until he allowed her. Dig his nails into her back, his teeth into her flesh and mark her up real good, let everyone who sees her know just what she’s been up to with him-

“Shigaraki! Fuck! Shi-Shigaraki!”

His name spills from her lips in a needy sob, voice cracking and so utterly genuine that it sends him over the edge. His cock throbs and stutters in his hand, shooting jets of sticky white seed all over the inside of his black sweat pants and staining his fingers. His entire body shudders, legs stiffening and balls tightening and clenching as his cum spills in fat ropes across the fabric. Try as he might to focus on her face as she cums for him, he simply can’t, eyes slamming shut and mouth left agape as a strangled cry erupts from his throat.

He gives a few subconscious pumps into his hand as searing pleasure crackles through his body, toes curling in his shoes as his lower body lifts off the chair to chase his high. Millions of images flash across his mind, the foremost of which is her, greedy eyes hungry for pleasure only he can give her, silky cunt milking him eagerly. A jagged tooth bites a little too hard into his blistered lip, enough to crack it open but he’s too submerged in bliss to notice. The only thing he can feel is her.

His thighs tremble as his body falls back down into the worn computer chair, orgasm leaving his entire body feeling weak and drained.  His breath comes in heaves, gulping down air as he tries his best to shake off the residual searing pleasure so hot it almost hurts. Overstimulation looms on the horizon and his heavy eyes drift open, feeling so drowsy now he can hardly keep them apart. The orange bar at the bottom of the video is all the way to the right, the video having concluded itself.

He’s never cum so hard in his life.

Her name. He needed to know her name. He needed to know everything .

He doesn’t bother reaching for the tissues. He simply withdraws his hand from his waistband, wiping his mess onto the knee of his pant leg before grabbing his mouse and scouring the page for any crumb of information he can find. The comments, while amusing, are hardly helpful.

So hot xx thanks

Who’s the guy even supposed to be?

This babe is so hot, luv her stuff everytime

Yall r gunna get rekt when he sees this shit lol

any sexy girls wanna reenact this with me? Hmu

I’m a girl and I love this!

Wish he’d do that to me <.<

He’d dwell on all of that later. For now, he settles for a quick search through the uploader’s account. It’s a small studio, only a few films out to date, most of which revolve around taboo relationships between villains and society. Following a hyperlink to their main website leads him to bio, complete with her stage name and picture, and even another link leading to an interview with a small time adult magazine, an article called “Cum to the Dark Side” that he bookmarks for later reading.

Even post-cum, she’s just as beautiful. Enchanting, sultry smile and cheeky little expression in her picture. Maybe it’s fate that he stumbled upon her. Maybe she really was just that good at acting and she didn’t have a thing for him at all. Either way, he wants some time with the talent. For research, of course.

Her personal details, as expected, are hidden. They go the lengths to protect their employees it seems. What isn’t hidden, however, is the studio’s number.

He thinks he can work with that.

[generalchelseamayhem]

Liberalism

*chorus of boos, some pelted fruit*

Yeah yeah, okay. I see a lot of hatred from both the hard left and the hard right for liberals. Taking the absolute worst examples of both sets of discourses, the right would seem to consider liberals agents of the communist agenda, where the left would consider liberals fascists-in-waiting.

I expect that from the right, but I've been baffled to see it coming through so strongly on the left.

I'm sure I've said this before, but it bears repeating. Political alignment isn't just measured by which positions you take on issues, but also by how principled you are on those issues.I was similarly baffled in Pride Month this year by posts which were like "Actually corporate pride celebrations are good because even if they're just in it for the money, we finally have their support to be out and proud in public!" And I just think of what happened around that exact same time when it came out that Disney was backing homophobic laws in Florida, the backlash from the creator of The Owl House who had to basically distance herself from her own brand- it's not principled support of LGBT people! They don't have your back, they don't care about LGBT people even within their own organisation. You were the ones who provided your own protection. You were the ones who made it easier for yourselves to be out and proud in public. Now you're too large a demographic for corporations to ignore, and they want your money, so they pretend to care even when they don't. If they can get more money at the same time in other areas from homophobes, so much the better.

There are so many times I see people, whose political motivations are clearly that they're just selfish and unprincipled, get called "liberals" by the hard left as if it's written into liberalism as a belief system to stop short of enacting any meaningful change and start, idk, worshipping the military-industrial complex. It's kinda exactly like how "centrist" became a catch-all term for disagreement which roughly translated to "we need to compromise with these genocidal maniacs to achieve consensus on equal rights, which, duh, means we only have to do a little bit of genocide!"

Listen, I can't account for the folly of human selfishness, but on the left, actual liberals are your allies. You gain nothing from making enemies out of them just because some people on Twitter misrepresent their position because it makes them seem friendlier! That's not liberalism, that's just lying! If I had to define liberalism - and I do - I'd have to go to Wikipedia, which talks about things like "the rights of the individual", "consent of the governed", "equality before the law" "freedom of speech/press/religion". And if you asked me to apply that concept to some guy on Twitter who said Racism is Bad, Defund The Police, Equal Treatment Under The Law, but now can only say "At least it's not Trump" as Biden's administration massively increases the police budget... well, I just wouldn't be able to do it.

If we don't get better at making friends soon, liberalism will collapse under the weight of the unprincipled selfishness pressing in from all sides, that says "Freedom of Speech for me, but not for anyone else" or "equal treatment under the law unless you're poor or disabled" or "the governed aren't allowed to protest anymore because it upsets people".

I propose that we start by agreeing to work together, with the caveat that the whole "rule of law" thing needs a shake up, because some laws are inherently unjust and law enforcement has too much power. And the caveat that revolutionary communist utopia is off the table, since one of the conventional wisdoms that informs many of liberalism's core beliefs is that other people have to live in this society, too.

[superbadassnatural]

Not Friends

Summary: It’s time for a wedding! Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his family. Good thing his friend Y/N is willing to help. Pairing: Dean x Reader // Sam x Jess Word count: 8,846 Warnings: fluff, fake dating, nudity (but it’s barely there), waxing A/N: this was writen for “SPN Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge” hosted by the darling @supernatural-jackles. There are 7 prompts in this one and they’re all in bold. Hope y’all enjoy!

“I still don’t get why you asked me to do this. I’m not a professional,” you mumbled. “Since it’s the first time you’re doing this, you  really should’ve gone to a professional.”

“I know, I know,” Jess sighed, taking another gulp of the wine. “I lost track of time and forgot to set an appointment. It’s just that Sam is planning something special for this weekend. I wanted to look nice.”

“You’ve been together for nearly five years, Jess. The guy asked you to marry him. And knowing him, he doesn’t mind if you wax or trim or do nothing down there.”

“I know he doesn’t. But I’m not just doing this for him. I’m doing this for me,” she said. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” you shrugged. “Alright, now lay down.”

Jess did as told, placing her glass on the nightstand. She was naked from the waist down, a white towel covered her lady bits. You could see it on her face that she was nervous. It would be better if she was a little drunk for you to do this.

“Move the towel so we can get going,” you asked, holding a popsicle with a large blob of yellow wax.

She gritted her teeth and her breath was caught in her throat when you spread the burning wax over the top of her mound. Jess clenched her eyes shut.

“We shouldn’t do this. I’m already regretting it.”

“You’ll be fine, Jess. Trust me.”

Jess took in a deep breath, relaxing a little.

“Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you,” you said before pulling the strip off.

“Fuck!” She nearly screamed, sitting up straight.

“Here,” you offered her the bottle of wine. “See? It wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t that bad?” Her blue eyes widened. “It was worse than I expected.”

“You know that we’re not finished, right?”

“I know,” she cried, taking another gulp of the whine and finishing the bottle.

Jess laid back and you repeated the process. She winced once again.

“And to think I was gonna ask you to be my maid of honor.”

“You were what?” You exclaimed.

“Well, I was gonna ask you properly next week and it was gonna be beautiful, but I guess I ruined everything.”

“I can’t believe you chose me to be your maid of honor,” you couldn’t stop the big smile to spread over your lips, happy tears welled in your eyes.

“Really?” She smiled. “I thought it was kinda obvious.”

“Of course not! I was sure you were gonna ask one of your sisters.”

“Y/N, we both know that none of them would be able to help organize a wedding.”

“I’m truly honored, Jess,” you hugged her. “God, you’re gonna have the wedding of your dreams.”

“I love you, Y/N/N.”

“I love you too.”

Three years ago, Sam proposed to Jess. You still remember the day when she came running to your place to tell you everything and show the beautiful diamond ring on her finger. She was truly happy. Her blue eyes held a glisten you had never seen before. You were happy for her.

Jess wanted a big wedding. She had enough money to throw a magnificent ceremony. Sam was a bit worried about how they would afford it so they decided to wait to get married. They worked out on a budget and started saving money. Both of them had established jobs; Sam as a lawyer and Jess as a prosecutor. They saved enough money to have their dream wedding. Twice.

You helped Jess organize everything. You hired one of the best wedding planners in the U.S. and they were perfect. Jess was on cloud nine. She still had some stress, but in the end, she reminded herself that everything would be okay. She was nervous people wouldn’t come because it was a destination wedding. Sam and Jess picked Maui, Hawaii for their ceremony. More specifically, Makena Cove Beach. So she saved extra money to pay for the guests’ staying at a resort. It was a damn expensive wedding.

Jess was born into a wealthy family. They never had to worry about money. Good thing they weren’t snobs. Her parents insisted on paying for hers and the bridesmaids’ dresses. They paid yours too. They even wanted to pay for Sam’s tuxedo, but John and Mary wouldn’t have it. Her parents wanted to help. Their oldest daughter was getting married and they wanted to give her everything. It was nice of them. Jess and Sam were glad for their willingness to help, but they also wanted to be more independent and bear the expenses.

Sam wasn’t born into a rich family, but the Winchesters weren’t poor either. John owned a law firm in Lawrence and Mary owned a bakery. They couldn’t assist as much as Jess’ parents, but they managed to help out anyway.

October 24th was getting closer and closer. You were so excited about their wedding day. Seeing them so radiant was priceless. They deserved all the happiness in the world. With less than one week left for the ceremony, you had to do the last touch-ups for the reception. That includes finishing your speech.

You had never thought you’d enjoy organizing a wedding this much. Thanks to you and the bridesmaid team, Jess had an epic bachelorette party. And poor Sam had to deal with the bachelor party Dean threw for him. It was a nice party, of course, but Sam wasn’t the kind of guy that enjoyed being around strippers. The bridal shower was fun too and she got lots of nice gifts.

Dean, the best man and your best friend, was doing everything he could to support his brother. He even went out with Sam to buy his tuxedo.

“Hey Claire,” you grinned walking into the car shop.

“Hi Y/N,” she smiled. “Dean said you were coming. He’s in the back.”

“Thanks, darling.”

Winchester’s Auto Shop. Dean was passionate about cars since he was a little kid. He became a mechanic and after years of hard work, he opened his own shop. You were proud of him. Seeing him conquer so much in his life only made you love your best friend even more.

“Hey you,” grinning, you spotted Dean underneath his car.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, struggling with whatever he was doing to the muscle car.

“Why are you working on Baby?” You nudged his feet.

“Had to replace the pipe,” he said before standing up to meet you. His grey shirt and denim jeans covered in grease. “And done.”

Your fingers trailed over the shining hood. Dean circled the car and started the engine. The impala roared to life, a purr following.

“There you go, Baby,” a wide smile spread on his lips. He turned off the ignition and took a step back, contemplating the beauty of his most precious possession. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Yeah, Dean, she is,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Alright, why did you call me here?”

“We can talk in my office,” he suggested. “With chairs and AC.”

You nodded and followed him to his office. He opened the door and you rushed to the comfortable chair in front of his desk. There was something about his office that was very homey. It made you feel at ease.

Dean headed to the mini-fridge and picked a couple of beers for the two of you. He sat on his desk, handing your beverage. You frowned at him, taking a gulp. He seemed tense.

“Alright, Winchester, spill.”

“I, uh, I know this kinda seems out of the blue and that I should’ve talked to you sooner, but,” he stopped his rambling and only made you more anxious.

“But?” You arched your eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I just need you to do this one little thing for me,” his pleading green eyes held your gaze.

“And that is…”

“Fake date me?” His lips curled into a weak smile as his brows furrowed, voice full of uncertainty.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But why?”

“My parents are gonna be at Sam’s wedding and I don’t want them to pick on me for not having someone, you know?” His eyes fell to his lap, the beer in his hand untouched. “I mean, Sam’s their youngest and he’s getting married. I don’t even have a girlfriend. ‘Sides, you know everything there is to know about me so it would be easier for them to buy it. You sure you wanna do it?”

“I’m sure, Dean,” you smiled at him, placing your hand over his. Green eyes looked up to meet you. “There’s nothing wrong about being single at your age. And if your parents think otherwise, screw them.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.”

“You’re lucky, you know?”

“And why’s that?” He took a large gulp of his beer.

“You’re gonna get to kiss me anytime you want,” you shrugged. “Just a heads up, people say I’m a pro at that.”

“Guess I’m gonna have to find that out myself,” he winked at you.

A comfortable silence fell in the room. Both of you nursed your beers isolated in your worlds.

“Did you finish your speech?” You asked.

“Yeah. It turned out really good actually. Did you finish yours?”

“Not yet,” you sighed. “I’m still trying to figure out how not to cry when I read it.”

Dean chuckled, standing up and putting on his blue flannel.

“I’m done for the day. Do you need a ride?” You nodded in response. “You going to Rocky’s or home?”

“Rocky’s,” you sighed in frustration as you headed to the door. “Gotta make up for the time Pam is gonna cover for me.”

“I thought you were gonna close the bar while we are in Hawaii.”

“I was, but Pam thought it was better to keep it open. She has way more experience in running a bar so I decided to go by her.”

Dean opened the door to the impala for you before getting behind the steering wheel. He turned the ignition and Baby’s loud purr filled your ears.

“I don’t get why we’re traveling tomorrow already,” he whined. “The wedding is only Saturday. We could hop on the plane on Thursday.”

“C’mon, I’m the maid of honor. In case anything goes wrong, I’m there,” you explained. “And you, Winchester, are the best man. You gotta help me.”

The ride to the bar was mostly quiet, saved for the sound of one of Dean’s cassettes. The night was falling and you were glad the bar closed at 10pm tonight. Dean pulled up in the driveway. You couldn’t find it in you to get out of the car and go to work. Monday nights were always dead and that’s way worse than having a busy night. The time just didn’t seem to pass.

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you smiled. “Thanks, Dean,” you leaned and pecked his stubbled cheek.

“Take care, sweetheart.”

You hopped out of the car, making your way to the bar. Every time he dropped you off at work or at home, he’d wait for you to come in then he’d head out. Tonight was no different.

“Y/N,” you turned and found Dean leaning on his seat. “Do you want to meet me at the airport or I pick you up and we head to the airport?”

“Pick me up,” you smiled. “Eight sharp, Dean.”

“Alrighty,” his lips curled into a smile. “Night, sweetheart.”

“Night, Dean-o.”

————

“Ugh, I’m so, so tired,” you grumbled, plopping down onto the airplane seat.

“Hmm, me too.”  

Dean reclined his chair, his eyes were already closed. The plane hadn’t even taken off and he was almost asleep.

“Dean,” your voice was ever so soft.

“Hmm,” he blinked an eye open to take a peek at your pleading face.

“I’m cold.”

“Alright, c’mere,” he sneaked his arm around you, pulling you closer to his body. Your head laying on his chest. “Better?”

“Better.”

“You aren’t cold, are you?”

“Not really,” you chuckled. “Just love some snuggle before falling asleep. And I know that planes make you uncomfortable. So I hope this helps.”

“It does,” you could hear the smile in his voice. “Now go to sleep.”

You and Dean slept through almost the entire flight. You called a cab and made your way to the resort you were staying at. Sam and Jess wanted to pay for yours and Dean’s stay, but you insisted on paying yourselves. They would already cover for most of the guests either way. Money would be a little tight this month, but it was worth it. It was your best friend’s wedding for Christ’s sake.

“Are you sure we’re at the right place?” You asked Dean as you both stood awestruck in front of the resort with your bags in hands.

“Uh-huh,” he swallowed thickly.

“This is so fancy. I don’t think I know how to behave in a place like this.”

“I don’t think I do either,” he chuckled.

You went to the reception and got the keys to your room. A gasp left your lips as you stepped inside. The room seemed to shine before your eyes. It was out of this world. The sprawling leather couch in front of the fifty inches tv had your breath hitching in your throat.  

“Oh my God, look at this view,” you let go of the bags and walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

The palm trees and the crystal blue water were a sight to behold. Sam and Jess had picked a beautiful place to get married.

“Y/N, come here,” Dean called from where you assumed to be the bathroom.

“Wow,” your eyes widened as they landed on the enormous bathtub. “I could easily drown in there.”

Your fingers roamed over the counter. Everything was in marble and hand-crafted tiles. Everything was magnificent and fancy. As well as the bath, the power shower was huge. Oh, the jacuzzi.

“I’m never leaving this room,” said Dean. “Sam can find another best man.”

“See? That’s one of the reasons why we came earlier.”

The cream Egyptian cotton sheets covering the king-sized bed made it difficult not to jump on and take a nap. You set on the edge, your body almost melting.

“Oh god, it’s memory foam.”

Dean’s lips curled into a smile as he watched you close your eyes. You were enjoying way too much. Your palms were flat on the mattress, taking in all its softness.

“I can sleep on the couch if you want,” he suggested.

“Don’t be silly. This bed is big enough for both of us. Plus, it’s not gonna be the first time we share a bed, fake boyfriend,” you shot him a wink. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’m disgusting.”

“You go,” he nodded. “I’ll text Sam to let them know we arrived safe.”

“You do that,” you smiled, picking your clothes from the suitcase. “Also, can you call the ceremonial? Let her know that we’re here and we’d like to meet her today,” you asked before entering the bathroom. 

“Will do.”

Steam filled the room as you cut the shower on. The water poured on your body, massaging your tense muscles. You bathed quickly. You had a lot of things to do before Sam and Jess arrived.

The afternoon flew by you. Barbara, the ceremonial, had everything perfectly mapped out. Her team would arrive on Thursday. That would give them plenty of time to wrap up the last details of the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony.

You and Dean finished your speeches. It would be hard to hold back the tears. You spent the rest of the day mostly in the room. Both of you were still too tired to wander around the resort. The following morning, after having a delicious breakfast, you and Dean explored the resort.

Turned out that Dean isn’t that good at the tennis table. At least now you had something to hold against him. Then he kicked your ass at pool and darts. That wasn’t nice.

You spent most of the afternoon at the pool. Dean was a bit annoyed at first because he didn’t want to apply sunscreen. He said he didn’t need it. Boy, that pissed you off. If he wanted to look like a shrimp at his brother’s wedding, then he didn’t need it after all. Dean could be as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to. But he gave in and applied it. He was even embarrassed to ask you to apply it on his back.

Sam and Jess were on their way. You were excited about their arrival. You couldn’t wait to show her around the resort. Unfortunately, they arrived late at night. You just stopped by their room to check on them before going to bed. They were extremely tired. They had worked all morning and flew by lunchtime.

Dean was in bed, searching through the channels when you stepped into the room. His hair was a little wet, spiking in multiple directions. You plopped yourself down beside him, already in your pajamas.

“My mom and dad are on the plane right now,” he grumbled, his eyes fixated on the screen.

“That’s good.”

“They’re gonna be here tomorrow morning,” Dean added. “And they want to have lunch. You, me, Sam and Jess.”

“Guess it’s happening then, huh?”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“Do they know that you’re ’with’ me?” you glanced up at him.

“Mmhmm,” he turned his attention to you. “I didn’t say your name ‘cause I knew there was a chance you wouldn’t want to do this.”

“Guess I’m gonna meet your parents, boyfriend,” you grinned.

“You are,” Dean chuckled and you yawned.

“Good night, Dean,” you pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

“Night, sweetheart.”

You turned on your stomach, right leg hiking up as the other stood straight. Your arm was tucked under the pillow. The room went completely quiet as Dean turned off the tv. You found it odd that he remained sat instead of going to sleep.

“Y/N/N?” His voice was unsure and as quiet as a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“You awake?”

“No, I’m dead,” Dean shook his head, a chuckle leaving his lips. “What’s up, Dean?” You turned on your back to face him. He laid on his side and you did the same.

“You sure you wanna do this?”

“I’m sure, Dean,” you reassured him, fingers making their way to play with his hair. “It’s bad that I’m gonna lie to your parents the first time I meet them. But I’m doing this for you. Don't overthink this, Dean.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“Oh, I don’t think I do,” you teased.

“Ah, shut up,” he chuckled.

“I love you too.”

“I know you do,” he smiled, his warm hand came up to your cheek, knuckles caressing your skin. A trail of goosebumps wandering through your body. “Sleep tight, sweetheart,” his lips met your forehead, lingering a little bit longer than usual.

He turned his back to you, shifting in his sleeping position. His hand reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off. You were facing the back of his head, breath still caught in your throat. You shook your head and turned to your side, waiting for the sleepiness that seemed to have faded.

Sunshine invaded the room. The curtains didn’t put any resistance on keeping the room dark. The orange glow made you clamp your eyes, before fluttering it open. You blinked a few times to adjust to the bright daylight. A heavyweight in your middle made you frown. Then you became more aware of your surroundings and realized what it was. Dean’s arm was draped over your waist, his knees tucked into yours. His chest was pressed flush to your back. You took in deep breaths. It was not the first time you’d shared a bed. But he has never been this close.

“Morning,” his voice sounded hoarse from sleep. Dean nuzzled into your neck, a shiver ran down your spine, his arm tightening around you.

“Good morning,” you beamed, voice a little husky.

“Don’t wanna get up,” he whined.

“Me neither,” you mumbled. “But I’ve got so much to do today.”

“No, you don’t. You have lunch with my parents and rehearsal dinner tonight. Other than that you’re free to spend the whole morning asleep.”

“Yeah, but I can’t. I’ve gotta talk to Jess about some things. Especially about our fake dating thing.”

“I’ve told Sam so she probably already knows.”

“You’re right,” you nodded. “Thank god I was able to set up a massage session for us after lunch.”

“We’re getting a massage?” You couldn’t see, but you were sure his eyes had lightened up like a Christmas tree.

“Not us, silly,” you chuckled. “Me and Jess.”

“You’re the worst.”

“If I had set it up for us, you’d hit on the masseuse and turn that into porn.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” his voice raised about an octave. “I would fall asleep the second she touched me.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, you would,” you scoffed.

“Why can’t we just go back to sleep? I’m tired,” he pleaded, burying his face in the curve of your neck. “You’re so comfy.”

He pulled you closer to him. Your body tensed as you felt a hardness against your ass.

“Dean, you, uh,” he noticed you stiffen in his hold.

“Oh, crap,” he pulled away as if your skin burned him. “Shit. Sorry. I, uh, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s okay. That’s normal, Dean. I know it wasn’t on purpose or because you were, uh, you know.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean it,” you smiled sympathetically. “Now go get changed so we can have breakfast. I promised Jess I’d meet her in an hour.”

Sam decided to have breakfast with you while Jess was at a yoga class. Since they’d decided on a date to get married, Jess started to hit the gym and go to yoga classes. She wanted to be in her best shape on her wedding day. It wound up becoming more of a way to relieve stress than anything else.

“Have you two come up with a story for mom and dad?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?” Dean frowned at his brother, stuffing the last bite of his croissant in his mouth.

“They’re gonna ask you how you met, how long you met each other, how long you’ve been together, where’d you go on your first date-“

“Nah, they’re not gonna ask,” Dean shook his head. “They’re gonna focus on you and Jess.”

“Dude, you only introduced them to a girl once. And that was a long time ago. Of course, they’re gonna want to know more of you and Y/N. Take it from me. When I brought Jess home, mom wouldn’t stop asking questions. You know how she gets excited.”

“Leave it for me,” you said after taking a sip of your coffee. “I’m good at improv.”

“Your stories need to match.”

“I’m just gonna tell them the truth and change some bits. Add more romance. And voila. Dean and Y/N’s love story.”

“If you blow it, I’m gonna tell them you brainwashed me,” Dean warned you.

“Chill, Dean-o,” you bumped his shoulder. “I got everything under control.”

———

“Mom and dad, this is Y/N,” Dean motioned to you.

“Oh, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” Mary squealed, wrapping her arms around. Your eyes widened at her reaction. She squeezed you and you hugged her back.

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Winchester.”

“Oh, please, call me Mary,” she said, pulling away and offering you a smile.

“So we finally meet the great Y/N, huh,” John grinned, a heat crept on your cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Winchester,” you smiled.

“Call me John, kid.”

“Right.”

Dean pulled out the chair for you to sit and sat beside you. Mary and John were at each head of the table.

“Oh, Y/N, we heard so much about you,” Mary smiled.

“You did?” Your surprise couldn’t even be hidden. You glanced at Dean and he shrugged with a head tilt.

“Of course we did. This guy wouldn’t stop talking about you so it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“You got him wrapped around your finger, kiddo,” said John.

You smiled sheepishly. The table fell into a comfortable silence as you looked through te menu, deciding to have the same as Dean.

“Sam, are you nervous about tomorrow?” Mary grinned.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Jess’ eyes shone every time she mentioned her wedding.

“Jess, I can’t wait to see your dress,” Mary grinned.

“Oh, it’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.”

“You’ve seen it?” Mary’s blue eyes widened at you.

“Not only have I seen it, but I was there when she bought it. You’re gonna love it.”

“Y/N is my maid of honor.”

“Really? That’s great!”

“We’ve known each other since kindergarten. She was the one to introduce me to Sam,” she smiled. “She’s my other half.”

Jess extended her hand across the table, linking your fingers.

“Hey!” Sam feigned offense. She chuckled and pecked his lips into a sweet kiss.

“Dean, honey, you’re awfully quiet today,” his mom said softly.

Dean looked up from his dish, his mouth full. Smiling at him, you reached for his hair. His shoulders were tense and he had barely said a word since you sat to eat.

“Oh, he’s just afraid you’re gonna like me better than him.”

Everyone laughed and you heard a small chuckle escape his lips. He was tense and even a little nervous. You could understand that. Dean was afraid his parents wouldn’t buy your story. That would be the worst.

The table was filled with laughter. Mary did most of the talking. She asked Sam and Jess a lot of questions about their wedding. You could hear how happy she was from the way she talked. You were surprised she didn’t question you about your relationship with Dean.

“So, Y/N,” Mary turned to you.

“Oh boy, here we go,” you straighten your posture, taking a deep breath. Everyone laughed at your response.

“Please, Y/N, tell me about you and Dean. I need all the details,” her pleading blue eyes only made a stain of guilt appear on your stomach. “No, not all the details. Those you can keep to yourself.”

“Mom,” Dean nearly whined, a shade of pink coloring his cheeks.

“Ugh, gross,” John chuckled.

“Where can I start…” you needed to articulate your thoughts so the story would be convincing enough for them to believe. “About six years ago, I was driving home from my parents' house and my car broke down. I called… what was the name again?” You asked Dean.

“Jamie’s auto shop.”

“Right. I called James's auto shop and waited for the guy. The guy took way too long. It was dark and there was no one on the road. I thought I was gonna be eaten by wolves-“

“Just to be clear, there are no wolves in Lebanon, Kansas,” he interrupted you.

“You don’t know that,” you spat at him and he shrugged. “As I was saying, the guy took so long I thought he was coming on foot. It turned down he wasn’t. He was just driving like my grandma,” Dean had to bite down a laugh as he shook his head. “Then he climbed out of the car. The moment I saw those piercing green eyes, I knew I was a goner. And all those things you see in movies like the heart beating out of your chest, butterflies in your stomach. I felt all that stuff. And he was a gentleman. He made sure to drive me home. He fixed my car and gave me a really nice discount.”

“Are you telling me that it took him six years to introduce you to us?” Mary’s blue eyes were wide under arched brows.

“If it makes you feel better it took him five years to ask me on a date,” you shrugged.

Mary kept on asking about yours and Dean’s relationship. Some things were easier to answer. Others not much. Your palms started to sweat when questions started to get a little more personal. She wanted to know more about you. She asked about your family and what you did for a living. Your voice started to waver. You didn’t want to tell her that you owned a bar. A part of you feared what she’d think of you once you told her about your job. Hell, not even your parents liked the idea. What would she think of you? And why did you feel like you needed her approval?

“I, uh, I-“ you couldn’t find the words to say, your mind was hazy and your thoughts seemed to have disappeared.

Dean must have noticed because you felt a warm hand reaching for your thigh. His touch was reluctant, but soothing. He squeezed your skin softly, reminding you that he was there.

“C’mon, mom. It’s been years since I presented you to a girl and now you’re trying to scare her off?” His arm sneaked around your back, bringing your body closer to his. “This one was so damn hard to find. And there’s still time for her to get sick of me and dump me. But you’re not gonna do that, right sweetheart?” You shook your head, a smile spreading over your lips. “Good,” Dean pressed a kiss to your temple and you relaxed instantly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Mary apologized.

“It’s okay. You can ask me whatever you want.”

“But not today,” Dean stared at his mother, his voice almost sounded like a warning. “Hell, ask Jess all the questions. She can’t run away from Sam anymore. I mean, technically she still can-“

“Dude, don’t give her any ideas,” Sam played along.

“Anyways, it was lovely to meet you guys, but Y/N and I have a couples massage session in one hour back at the resort. We should get going,” Dean lied, he wanted to get you out of there as soon as possible. He was afraid his parents would make you uncomfortable again.

You hugged them and headed out of the restaurant. John and Mary would head back to their hotel while Sam and Jess were going to meet the ceremonial. They needed to go over a few things for the rehearsal dinner tonight.

“Do you want me to call a cab or do you want to walk back to the resort?” He asked.

“We can walk,” you shrugged.

“Okay,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’ve had it worse,” you brushed it off as if it didn’t matter.

“Of course it’s not fine. She shouldn’t have asked you so many questions. And she shouldn’t have made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay, Dean. She was just making sure you were with someone decent.”

“Well, she’s anything but decent.”

“Dean,” you scolded. “She’s your mother. Don’t talk about her like that.”

He only shrugged. The rest of the way was quiet. You were in front of the resort in no time. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Jess. She’d meet you in your room in fifteen minutes then you’d head down to the spa.

You decided to take a shower before meeting her. The water helped ease the tension in your shoulders. You headed out of the bathroom and found Dean laying in bed. His ankles crossed as he flipped through the channels.

“You owe me a couples massage session,” he mumbled.

“You wish, Winchester,” you rolled your eyes. “Alright, I’ll be back in an hour or so, do I meet you here or you have plans with Sam?”

“Sam and I are gonna hit the bar.”

“Okay,” you nodded. “Don’t drink too much and remember, mister, you have a girlfriend. So don’t go around hitting on chicks.”

“I’d never do that,” he winked. “Now go get your massage and see if you learn something from them so you can give me the best back massage ever.”

“Keep on dreaming, Dean.”

You met Jess at the spa. The masseuses handed you your robes and waited for you to get changed. The moment the woman started to pour her scented oils on your skin, you melted.

“So what has gotten into Mary anyway?” Jess asked. “She wasn’t too rude, but there was no reason for her to ask you all that stuff.”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I mean, she just wants the best for her son but I felt like I was being interrogated.”

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled sympathetically. “I had to kick Dean under the table so he’d do something,” you chuckled. “Men are so freaking dumb sometimes.”

“Yeah, they are,” you sighed. “Jess? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can.”

“Does Dean seem different to you?”

“I haven’t spent much time with him lately, but he seems the same to me.”

“Are you sure he hasn’t been acting any different?”

“I am, Y/N. Now where is this coming from?”

“He’s just been very affectionate lately.”

“Affectionate?”

“Yeah. He’s just, uh- I mean, he always cared for me. Dean is so caring. But lately I feel like something might have changed.”

“And why is that?”

“We’re sleeping on the same bed. It’s not new. We used to have sleepovers and share a bed all the time, but we’d never cuddle or anything. Today, I woke up and he was spooning me. He was so close. His body was pressed against mine, his head buried in my neck. Then I felt his thing,” you blushed and Jess chuckled. “Not to mention that last night before we went to sleep he was a little weird. His hand was on my cheek and he was staring at me as if he could see my soul. Then he kissed my forehead and it lasted longer than it usually does. Now I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or not. I’m just a little confused.

“You like him, Y/N,” Jess’ smile reached her eyes.

“Of course I do, he’s my best friend.”

“No, Y/N, you really like him.”

“Are you not hearing me? He’s my best friend. Of course I really like him.”

“Are you dumb or what? I mean love, Y/N. And not in a friendly way. I mean passion.”

“Pfft, you’re delusional.”

“You know I’m not.”

Silence fell in the room. You did your best to focus on the pressure of the masseuse's fingers pressing and pulling at your skin. The things Jess just said wouldn’t stop crossing  your mind. You knew she was wrong. You and Dean were just friends. But what if she was right?

You walked back to your room and figured Dean was in the shower. You walked to the window and opened. The soothing breeze hitting your skin ever so gently, sending goosebumps throughout your body.

“You’re back,” Dean beamed.

You turned to him. He was in jeans and a fitted grey t-shirt. His wet hair spiked in every possible direction.

“I am,” you smiled. “How was it to hit the bar with Sam?” You asked when you felt his presence beside you. Just like that, it became really hard to have a casual conversation with him.

“It was alright,” he chuckled. “How was the massage?”

“Best thing that ever happened to me,” you groaned in pleasure as you remembered how good it felt.

“Better than meeting me?”

“Almost,” you chuckled.

Dean moved behind you. His arms wrapped around your middle, his chest pressed flush against your back. You stiffened at first, but you couldn’t help but melt into his touch.

“You smell good,” he leaned to your neck. His gravel voice was barely upon a whisper. The feeling of his hot breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine.

You tried to focus on anything but the feeling of having him this close. Your eyes were fixated on the blue sea, on the way the waves crashed onto the shore. But it was impossible.

“Hmmm, really good,” he nearly moaned.

Then you remembered. He had a few drinks with Sam a bit earlier. This was the alcohol talking.

Dean turned you in his arms, his green eyes stared deep into your soul. The air seemed to have become thicker. Or maybe he was just too close. His eyes wandered to your lips. He leaned his head, his breath mingling with yours. You pulled away quickly, clearing your throat. Dean seemed to realize what was happening and turned his head. His eyes falling on the calm, blue waves.

“We should, uh, we should probably get ready,” you suggested.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” he nodded. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna get dressed in the bathroom.”

Dean grabbed his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. You heard the water from the sink running. What was that? Was he out of his mind? He must have been. If you hadn’t pulled away when you did, he would have… no, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t do that. He was your best friend. He just got a little carried away by the alcohol and the scent of the oils that previously bathed your skin.

You put on light makeup. Just a concealer, a thin coat of foundation and mascara. You picked the dress from the hanger and put it on. The navy blue dress fitted perfectly in your body. It hit your midthighs and seemed appropriate for the occasion.

The sound of the door unlocking echoed through the silent room. Dean got out of the bathroom all dressed up. His suit hugged his body just the right way.

“Can you help me?” You asked.

“Sure.”

“I can’t zip it. Can you do it for me?”

Dean nodded, standing beside you. The soft skin of his fingers touched your skin slightly as he zipped the dress. A different kind of electricity ran through your body.

“Thanks,” you smiled as you turned to him. “Do you want me to…” you motioned to the tie in his hand.

“Yeah, sure.”

You tied his silky red tie, smoothing it’s length. His eyes were roaming around the room, looking anywhere but you. Adjusting the collar of his shirt, you felt his gaze on you. You don’t know how much time you spent staring into each other’s eyes, but after a while he cleared his throat, breaking the trance.

“You ready?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded, grabbing your purse and slipping into your heels. “Shall we?”

You headed out of the room and walked down the street. The restaurant Sam and Jess picked was close to the resort. So you wouldn’t get tired of going on foot.

“Hold my hand, we gotta make this look convincing, remember?” You smiled.

His warm hand took a hold of yours before stepping into the restaurant. Most of the people were already there. Jess’ parents were so happy to see you. It had been a while since you had last seen them. Her sisters cheered when their eyes landed on you. They wouldn’t stop giving you malicious looks and wiggling their eyebrows because you got the other brother.

Mary sat beside Dean. At first you were nervous she’d try to make any questions. You knew Dean wouldn’t let her do it, but you still had that feeling. That dissipated the second they started serving dinner. It was delicious and you were glad they had picked this restaurant. The room was filled with laughter and happy conversations.

After everyone had finished eating, Sam and Jess distributed gifts to their parents. They made their toasts, thanking everyone for supporting them and being there for their special day.

“I’ve been waiting for dessert the whole night,” Dean leaned, whispering to you.

“Me too,” you chuckled.

“Though it would be a whole lot better if it were pie.”

They started serving the cake and you were almost drooling. Just as you took the first bite, Mary called you.

“I need to go to the restroom,” her voice was barely audible. “Y/N, do you mind coming with me?”

You were a little taken aback, but agreed anyway. You knew she wanted to talk to you.

“Don’t let anyone touch my cake,” you asked Dean.

You followed Mary to the restroom. You tried to look for any sign of anger on her face but it didn’t show.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier,” she smiled weakly. “I should have treated you better. I don’t know what got into me.”

“Mary, it’s okay. Really. You were just looking out for Dean.”

“He loves you, you know?” You smiled. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you as if you were his whole world. John used to look at me that way when we were your age.”

You didn’t know what to say to her. A part of you wanted to tell her it wasn’t real. He was faking it and he needed her to buy it. But another part of you wanted to believe in what she said.

“I’m glad he has someone like you, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Mary,” you smiled.

God, she’s gonna hate you if she ever finds out the truth.

“Now let’s go. I’ve stolen much of your time already.”

You made your way back to the table feeling a lot lighter.

“Everything okay?” Dean asked once you sat beside him.

“Yeah,” you smiled. Finally, you’d be able to eat your cake. Except there was no cake. “Where’s my dessert, Dean?”

“What?”

“Where’s my cake?” You made sure to not speak too loud for others to hear.

“I don’t know,” he sounded nervous.

“I can’t believe you ate my cake.”

“No, I didn’t,” he chuckled.

“Of course you did! You’re laughing,” you argued. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you with my food.”

“Look, I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it,” he held his hands up in surrender.

“If it wasn’t you, then who was it?”

“I don’t know. It probably was that kid,” he pointed to Jess’ nephew.

“Of course, Dean, blame it on the kid,” you hissed with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, I’m gonna get you another piece, alright?”

“You better.”

He did get another piece of dessert. It was delicious and you were as happy as a kid in a candy shop.

The rehearsal dinner came to an end and people started to leave.

“You guys are not heading back with us?” You asked the happy, soon-to-be-married couple.

“No, we still have some things to wrap up here,” Sam smiled.

“Okay,” you nodded. “You were amazing today. Everything was beautiful. I can’t wait for tomorrow,” you smiled, hugging Sam before hugging your best friend. “I love you both.”

You and Dean headed out of the restaurant and started to walk back to the resort.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?”

“I’d love that,” you said.

You walked to the beach. You breathed in the ocean carried air. Dean took off his shoes and you did the same. The soft golden sand seemed to caress your feet with its comforting warmth. The night sky along the calm sea looked like a painting.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dean said as he noticed your eyes shine just as bright as the stars in the sky.

“It is,” you smiled.

“Let’s go in there.”

“What?” You turned abruptly to him.

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugged. “There’s no here. We can go in fully clothed or not.”

“Okay.”

“We’re doing this fully clothed or not?”

“Fully clothed.”

He nodded, shrugging off his suit, and loosening his tie. Dean took your heels from you and placed it along with his pieces of clothes on the sand. Distant enough so nothing would get wet.

Dean held out his hand for you to take. He grinned before running into the water with you. You squeaked when the cold water hit your legs.

“Shit, it’s cold,” goosebumps crept up on your skin.

“Stop being such a baby,” he teased, splashing water at you.

“Oh, you did not!”

You did the same to him. Dean chuckled, splashing more water at you. You didn’t know how much time you spent acting like kids. The sound of waves of laughter echoed through the quiet beach. You pushed him and he fell, getting completely drenched. His arms reached out for you, bringing you down with him.

“You’re so mean,” you squealed.

“You started it,” he stood to his feet, holding his hands out.

“No, you started it,” he pulled you up, and once again you were too close to his body.

“Admit it, you had fun,” his hand reached to your face, brushing a few damp strands off your face.

“It was too cold,” you shivered.

“But you had fun.”

“I did,” you smiled.

“Let’s head back, shall we?” 

You nodded. Dean picked up your stuff and put his jacket around your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“Just making sure you won’t freeze to death, sweetheart,” he sneaked his arm around your waist.

You walked in silence. You quietly thanked once you saw the resort get closer and closer. Your sore feet were more than glad to be back in your room.

“We should try that jacuzzi, huh?” He suggested.

“Yeah, we should,” you sighed, heading to the bathroom.

“I meant together, like-“

“I know what you meant, Dean,” you said, turning on the jacuzzi. “Now grab that champagne in the mini-fridge.”

He nodded and did as told. You could see there was something off about him.

“You sure you’re okay with the naked thing?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course,” you checked on the temperature and turned on the jets. “Are you?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He was nervous. You chuckled. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you seem a little nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“Okay, good,” you shrugged. “Can you, uh…” you turned to him.

“Yeah, sure,” he slowly unzipped your dress.

The dress pooled around your feet. Dean swallowed thickly at the sight of you in your underwear. His breath was caught in his throat. You slipped off your panties and he instinctively licked his lips. He was glad you had your back to him.

“Alright, I’m not gonna be the only one naked here, right?” You turned to him.

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

You frowned. He unbuttoned his white shirt and tugged down his pants. You blurt out laughing.

“I can’t believe you have a Scooby-Doo underwear!”

“Cool right?” He grinned, pulling off his boxers.

“It’s awesome, you beamed.

You hopped on the jacuzzi, the warm water making you relax instantly. Dean poured champagne for the both of you.

“So I was thinking,” you said before taking a sip at your drink. “Can I grab your butt in front of your parents?”

“No, Y/N, you can’t grab my butt in front of my parents.”

“But it’s so perky,” you pleaded.

“Y/N,” he gave a warning look.

“Okay, okay. I won’t grab your butt in front of your parents.”

“Great,” he smiled. “Can I kiss you in front of my parents?”

“Sure,” you shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be right in front of your parents, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. I mean, friends kiss sometimes.”

“Really?”

“I’m actually surprised you’re asking me this, but yeah, Dean, they do,” you said. “How do you think Jess and I learned how to kiss?”

“Oh, I never thought about that part.”

You chuckled. Both of you fell into silly conversations. It made you forget you were actually naked in front of him.

“We should get out,” he said. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, we should.”

Dean stood up, picking your glass from your hand.

“See, it’s perky,” you said.

He chuckled.

“Here you go,” he took your hand in his, helping you out of the tub. Dean wrapped a towel around your shoulders before wrapping one around his waist.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“I dare you to kiss me,”

His green eyes widened, but also looked for any sign that indicated you were kidding. His hand came up to cup your cheek. His plump lips captured yours in a sweet kiss. They glided over each other as if you had done this before. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your towel falling in the process. He deepened the kiss as you parted your lips, allowing his tongue to delve into your mouth. His hand on your hip, squeezed your skin, drawing you closer to him. His tongue traced yours in a sensual dance. You tasted the champagne in his warm muscle. A moan was muffled by his lips.

The need for air came sooner than you hoped for. You parted. Neither of you dared to open your eyes. Dean pecked your lips softly before resting his forehead against yours. His thumb caressed your flushed cheek.

“I should, uh, I should go get changed,” he cleared his throat.

You nodded, watching him exit the room. Your fingers traced up to your kiss swollen lips. God, you were screwed.

——— “You look so beautiful. I think I’m gonna cry,” you said to Jess.

She looked perfect. Her gown looked even more beautiful than you remembered.

“Sam won’t know what hit him,” you smiled.

“I’m so glad I chose you as my maid of honor,” she grinned, hugging you. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you kissed her cheek. “I need to get going. It’s almost time.”

You headed to the lounge to meet Dean. He was standing there in his tuxedo. You could swear you had never seen him this handsome.

His eyes widened once he saw you. Dean nearly gasped. The rose gold gown fitted your body perfectly, hugging every curve.

“You look, wow,” he smiled. “You look beautiful.”

“You don’t look bad yourself,” you smiled, pecking his lips. “Shall we?”

He linked his arm with yours, guiding you towards the beach. Everything looked so beautiful. It looked as if it had come out of a movie.

You waited for your queue and walked down the aisle to the altar. You and Dean stood on opposite sides.

A trail of goosebumps ran through your body once you spotted Jess. She grinned wide as her eyes found Sam’s. It was happening. Their dream was coming true.

“Family and friends, we’re gathered here today to celebrate the love of Samuel and Jessica.”

You forced your eyes away from the couple only to meet Dean’s green orbs staring at you. His lips curled into a smile. You held each other’s gaze. Your cheeks started to heat up at the intensity of his look.

Sam and Jess read their vows. You cursed at yourself for not focusing on them. Dean’s eyes were drawing you to him. Silly smiles spread wide on your lips.

The ceremony was beautiful. It was better than you and Jess expected. They were pronounced husband and wife and everyone headed to the wedding reception. They danced to the sound of their favorite song. Everyone could see how much they loved each other and how happy they were.

You and Dean made your toasts separately. Both Jess and Sam teared up a little. After the toasts, most people headed to the dance floor.

“Would you like to dance?” Dean held his hand for you as a slow song echoed through the room.

“With you? Always.”

He guided you to where couples were dancing. His hands were placed on your hips as you wrapped your arms around his neck, both of you swaying to the rhythm of the song.

“So where does this leave us huh?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what happened last night. That wasn’t just two friends kissing. I know it and you know it too.”

“I know, you’re right,” you looked up at him.

“Good,” he smiled. “So no more fake dating?”

“No more fake dating.”

He pecked your lips into a passionate kiss and the whole world fell away.

“Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you,” he said as you parted. “Not even your friends kissing you.”

“Same goes for you, Winchester.”

———

“You’re not gonna join them?” Dean asked behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

“Nah, let them have their fun,” you said, watching the group of women gather not so far as they waited for Jess to throw the bouquet.

They all cheered and screamed when she tossed it. You jumped when the flowers fell on your feet.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” you rolled your eyes.

“It’s way too soon, sweetheart,” Dean chuckled.

“Alright, ladies,” you announced, holding up the flowers. “$20 and the bouquet is yours,” they all laughed. “No? Ten bucks maybe?”

Dean chuckled, pressing his lips to your cheek.

“You’re one of a kind, sweetheart.”

Please, consider sharing your thoughts with me via reply reblog or ask!

Dean Sweethearts:

@maya-craziness​ @akshi8278​ @spookytaylors​ @witch-of-letters

[uselessmonsterboy]

Anonymous Submitted:

Okay, but it's only disheartening if that's the end of the story. And it isn't, or at least, it isn't meant to be. (this is a continuation of the Izuku roams the grounds thing)   Aizawa and the other teachers worry over what to do with the Problem Child, not only is it viscerally disturbing to see it happen, but when the kid's a pro, he won't be safe on the streets. Which means UA has 2 years and change to get him comfortable with having a roof over his head. 

At first, they leave him be. He's going to therapy, is following his weight gain plan, and uses the facilities of the dorm. None of his classmates say anything to him about it, they're all aware at this point that he's had a tough life, and if that weren't enough they were given a very stern talking to by Aizawa prior to the kids moving in. Izuku may sleep outside, in the forest or the training grounds, but he showers, cooks, and slowly starts to relax in the dorms. 

The first big problem hits with the autumn winds, the UA staff worrying themselves sick over their precious adopted child. Rationally, they know he's survived winters before, but it doesn't make it any easier. Present Mic even pulls the kid aside, reminding him that he's free to use any of the buildings in the false cities, return to the dorms, or sleep in the auditorium if it gets too cold. Cementoss and Power Loader rig as many of the false building with heaters as they can. 

Izuku is, at this point, doing better mentally and physically. He knows that his inability to sleep indoors is irrational, but he's just not at the point where he can bear to sleep in a place he calls his own yet. He doesn't know how to make the leap, and everyone's concern for him eats away at him. He spirals for a bit, feeling trapped by the love and compassion people are showing him after all this time. Eventually, it comes to a head with an accidentally insensitive remark by Mina. 

She says something dumb about how cold it is in her room, and how she put in a work order days ago, but it still isn't fixed and it's tooorrrtttuurrreee. Izuku snaps something about how "she's lucky to have something covering her from the elements, and a bed and blankets to keep her warm, let alone a heater,"  He realizes what he's said, addressing the elephant in the room that had been there so long his classmates had started to forget about. Bursting into tears, he runs out of the dorm.

(My connection is getting laggy, idk how many of these are getting through) It's Uraraka who finds him, curled up next to the trashcans, hyperventilating. Even though she knows he's had it rougher than her, she too remembers the feeling of going to bed on an empty stomach, of the winter chill slicing through the flimsy fabric of a cheap coat. She tells him as much; adding on that she's willing to help in whatever way she can, even if it's just as someone he can vent to.

Uraraka listens, uninterrupting, as Izuku shakily rants at her. It's nearly half an hour of him hopping hysterically from tangent to tangent, going in depth about how scared he was, how some days he wasn't sure he would make it, how alone he felt. 

He sobs about how he was convinced, for so long, that he deserved it, that he was a bad son, that either Inko ran away from him because she hated him, or she was taken from him against her will, and it's a catch-22 because if she hated him than he must have been a bad son, but if he hopes that she had to be taken from him, than he's wishing his mother is either in pain or dead, and doesn't that make him just as awful? 

He admits that he wants to take the next step, he knows it's irrational of him to sleep on UA's streets like this, but he feels sick and undeserving every time he tries to sleep in a bed, or a couch. 

And Uraraka does a good job of listening. Her heart fills with pain, so much so she worried Izuku will feel it, and run again. One of her best friends in the world was suffering like this in silence, and none of them had stepped in. She cries silently, doing her best not to distract him. When he finishes, she hugs him, tight, so tight she's afraid he might break. She helps him come up with a plan that night. A way to ease him back in to living in a steady environment again. 

When they return, he goes to apologize to Mina, only for her to beat him to it. Despite his obvious discomfort, he admits he can't sleep in the dorms, that he was homeless, and doesn't want to discuss it further. Even though the class desperately wants answers past that, the look on Uraraka's face keeps them from jumping the poor kid for information. Things fall into a sort of forced quiet after that in regards to Izuku's past. None of the students want to break their trust with him, so they don't push him, but, to his surprise, they also don't push him away either. That doesn't mean they don't spend the next several weeks worrying, crying, reevaluating their abilities as heroes. Hound Dog's office is almost never empty after that, with someone or another going for advice or reassurance.

The only one who comes close to pushing Izuku away entirely is Bakugo, who's furious at himself both for not noticing, but also for punching down the way he did in middle school. He remembers leaving a shaking body in an alleyway, and feels ill. How close did Deku come to getting an infection, unable to recover in a clean, safe environment? How close did he come to dying in the gutter, like a discarded toy? He leaves Deku, no, Izuku, alone after that, and starts waking up in a cold sweat instead, haunted by dull, lifeless eyes on a face marred by grime and burns.

Izuku, spurred on by Uraraka and oblivious to his classmates' thoughts, starts to implement their plan. At first, he sleeps in the lobby of a random building once a week. He doesn't sleep on a couch, but curls up, small again, in his sleeping bag. He can almost pretend it's a bus stop, or a train station. He spends more and more nights sleeping in lobbies and fake restaurants, until he's comfortable spending the nights indoors.

From there, it's a relatively uncomfortable jump to trying to sleep in the entrance of the dorm. He still sleeps in the fake cities from time to time, but he gets more and more comfortable sleeping next to the dorm doors. Everyone is careful not to say a word, although some of the insomniacs and early risers jump the first few times they see him. After about a month of that, he starts creeping in to sleep on the floor of the common area. It goes relatively incident free. Ojiro does scream once, when he goes to get a late night snack. Half the dorm is woken up, but eventually, Izuku is assured it was merely Ojiro's sleep addled brain convinced the sleeping bag was Aizawa, rather than anything about him. Everyone else takes note, and any subsequent jumpscares are silent, and unnoticed. Even so, Izuku sleeps by the doors for the following two weeks. 

Eventually, Izuku feels emboldened enough to try and sleep in his own room. It needs a thorough cleaning, dust coats everything in a thick layer. Optimistic, Iida washes the sheets on the school provided mattress, and makes the bed with military corners. Izuku tries to sleep on the bed, but ends up in his sleeping bag, feeling guilty that he still can't sleep on a mattress.

Again, he feels self-loathing at his own wastefulness. It's a perfectly good bed, but he can't stand it, he can't sleep in it. He starts sleeping in the hallway instead, trying to avoid his room as much as possible. This quickly catches the teachers' attention. They had been keeping a close eye on Izuku's progress, but had been unwilling to interfere after their previous efforts had backfired so spectacularly before. But now, it seemed like adult interference would be necessary.  Nobody wanted Izuku to backslide now that it was so cold out. Yagi's the one to propose it, both to the teachers and to Izu-kun. If the bed makes him uncomfortable, why not replace it with a couch? That way, when he wanted to have people over in his room, they could have a place to sit, and the room wouldn't feel so empty. 

At first, Izuku's reluctant to the idea. He may have hated the bed, but, it seemed like a waste to have it removed and to have a couch put in its place. Besides, wasn't he supposed to start living like a normal person now, wasn't this just giving up? 

Yagi assures him that, no, going slowly, taking baby steps like this is perfectly okay. The only reason why they wanted him to live in the dorms was because they were worried about his safety. If he feels more comfortable sleeping on the floor, that's okay. And with the budget that UA has, one bed and one mattress are ultimately negligible. Todoroki helps soothe Izuku as well, pointing out that both he and Shoji sleep on futons, which aren't so different from his sleeping bag. 

Izuku ultimately agrees, and finds that it's a lot easier to sleep in his room now that the expectation that he'll use his bed is lifted. While he doesn't know it, UA's staff, and his classmates, collectively let put a huge sigh of relief, now no longer having to worry about 1-A's resident little string bean freezing in the cold.

---

Sorry if this was crazy long, or if it's out of character, I just like coming up with little snippets and stuff like this for my favorite creators.

[chaniters]

9-1-1

The rangers clash against Catastrofiend for the first time, and it only raises more questions as they attempt to save the only survivor of the onslaught.

*Triggers, mentions of gore (kept vague) and slashing & cutting wounds. 

Part 10 of Awan Cormac’s second fanfic.

_______________________

Abandoned warehouse, Los Diablos Docks.

You tread carefully over the bloodened pieces of shattered crates. The whole warehouse is a battleground where the Loan-Shark’s army bit the dust.

 No. Not a battleground. Slaughterhouse fits it best. This is the kind of scene you’ve grown accustomed to ever since Catastrofiend showed up. Nobody knows what to expect either, since there are no video recordings of any of the killings, and no one’s ever seen the fiend and lived to tell the tale. 

The walls are riddled with gunfire, and most of the furniture’s been torn to pieces, just like the poor devils trying to stop the hunter coming at them.  The familiar slashing cuts and splatters are all over for you to see. 

“We’re late” Steel grumbles, cracking his neck as he approaches one of the victims for signs of life. 

He finds none. 

“They really fought back this time” Sentinel comments watching a machinegun armed on the floor, next to the remains of whoever was trying to use it. 

“It’s just like the other sites.” Charge says using a visual scanner. He turns to you “Sidestep, you said there was someone alive, or did I dream that part?”

“I do sense at least one person down in the basement…and… something else down there too”

“What do you even mean with ‘something else’?” Anathema asks

“I mean I don’t know. It’s just...‘something else’” 

“Is it Catastrofiend?” Steel inquires

“That” you start, clicking your tongue  “Would be the logical conclusion”

“So It turns everyone to sashimi and doesn’t register as people in your brain radar… fun. Now, do you think it’s going to attack us, heroes, too?” Charge asks.

“How do you expect me to answer that?” 

“Well, you’re the telepath! A mind’s a mind, right?” he says patting your back.

“Yeah, I am a telepath. Now can you read a book written in Sanskrit?” you grumble. 

But you motion for him to give you some space nonetheless. You’ll give it a go, at least that way they’ll stop bugging you about it.

You focus your thoughts on a strong scan until you can feel it clearly, in the basement as well as the survivor. It’s easy to tell who the guy trapped down there is… the other one, that’s the real mess.  It’s got thoughts, like everyone else, but they don’t make any sense… Hunger. So much hunger… and hatred… and pain… pain… PAIN….

Your vision blurs, and when you try to turn, you’re no longer there. You’re lost…all you can feel is the hunger… turning you inside out. You must feed… feed until the pain is gone… until you…

Until Ortega slaps your face sideways, that is.

“Sidestep! You ok?! Snap out of it!” Ortega’s speaking to you, though it seems to come from a long tunnel…

It takes more force of will than you’d admit, returning from wherever it is you went. You realize you’re kneeling, and you’ve got your own hands holding your skull as if it was going to explode.

“You were babbling nonsense… ?”

“I’m ok” You raise to your feet with his help, a bit embarrassed. “That thing’s fucking dangerous Charge, it’s going to attack the moment it sees us. We shouldn’t face it in a closed space.”. 

“That’s just … great” Charge grumbles as he motions for everyone to follow his lead. “Any clue as to who the survivor is?” 

“That’s easier. It’s the Loanshark, trapped down there” you answer. He nods once before speaking again.

“Alright team, we go in quietly. If we can get the Loanshark out without alerting that freak then that’s what we do. Sidestep and Sentinel, you two get Lewie, Annie and I go back up last to fend off whatever’s down there. Steel, keep your cannons ready to shoot if we get attacked.

”Understood,” everyone says.

The stairs are completely dark, so you turn on night vision. It reveals a multitude of bloodstains as your team goes down. Great. 

 You and Sentinel go in last, as the others secure the staircase. The actual basement looks like a terror movie set with a very healthy budget. Anathema seems almost ready to throw up, but he manages to keep it together and advance.  

You’ve seen corpses, but it’s hard to think that these were people once… 

Littered among the remains of the Loan Shark’s goons, there’s loads of electronic equipment in pieces along with metal crates that have been shred open from the sides with the familiar slashes. Realizing the fiend can cut metal too sends a shiver down your spine. 

“Where?” Charge whispers. 

The mind of the “Thing” lies behind a half-opened door leading to a dark corridor on the other side of the room… It seems to have found whatever it is it was looking for, and you can sense it’s fallen into some sort of… trance? Extasis? Hibernation? Unknown state of mind.

The Loan Shark, however, you can sense him, hiding under a pile of rubble.

“Freak’s over there… It’s distracted somehow, don’t ask me why. Lewie’s under... that” you say gesturing to both sides of the basement”

Charge nods, and motions to Annie and Steel, they both take positions to the sides of the door, while you and Sentinel start looking for the Loan Shark who’s pretending to be dead.

Soon enough, he stops the act, seemingly startled to see you, but actively cooperating as he realizes you’re not here to cut him to tiny pieces. His usual suit is shredded everywhere and there are several cuts over his supposedly bullet-proof skin.

“You’re under arrest” Sentinel whispers.

“Do I look like I care at this point, you damn narc? Just get me the fuck out of here” he answers nervously.

The Loanshark stands with difficulty and both of you start walking him to the stairs. 

You fully expect the Catastrofiend to come after you at any second, but it stays put as you make your way up, followed by the others shortly after. You breathe in relief as all of you come out of the warehouse’s exit and head towards the ranger’s armored van. 

And then the pain comes in again… so intense it makes your knees weak. But you manage to keep it together this time. Bring your shields up, keep it away from yourself… The fixation’s too strong. It has a new target. 

Anathema holds your arm… 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s coming” you whisper. “It’s coming fast.” 

“Shit. Charge! Sidestep says it’s coming!”

“Hurry up then! You, me and Steel keep take it busy. Sidestep and Sentinel, get the Loanshark away!”

“No! We all need to get out of here! That thing’s insane Charge!”

“Insane’s what we signed up for man! Just get on the van, leave it to us!”

“You don’t get it! That thing…”

“Get on the van already! I’m leading this mission!” he shuts you down. 

You’re not sure what did it. Perhaps you were weak after touching that alien mind… or maybe he triggered something subconsciously by sounding too much like Nathaniel giving you orders back at the farm. Or maybe you were just too scared to argue and following orders was the easiest thing to do. 

Whatever the case, you stop arguing, like they all thaught you at the farm, and you sit down beside the Loanshark before closing the door.

Sentinel sits on the wheel and starts the engine…It takes a split second before you realize this is a mistake. You have to warn them to get on the vehicle too

But it’s too late. You can hear Anathema, shouting something, and you see a blurred thing passing by above you all… and then it lands on top of the vehicle’s hood, immediately turning to face the driver, it’s claws aimed directly at Sentinel’s face trough the glass with smashing strength.

__________________________________________________________

Ranger’s infirmary. Present time. 

“Wait, you mean to tell me the five of us lost to that thing?”

“Lost? It wasn’t even playing the same game”

“That bad, huh?”

“No. Worse.”

__________________________________________________________

Los Diablos Docks. (yet again)

Sentinel avoids the claws narrowly but gets several glass cuts to his face. He still manages to extend his hands forward, sending out a strong wind gush, but Catastrofiend keeps fixed to the hood, two of its claws digging deep into it, while it prepares to strike again with the other two. It’s got a third pair of arms... Human-like… drenched in blood, extending towards Sentinel as if they wanted to caress his face trough the shattered glass. 

Steel interrupts it with machinegun fire, hitting it on several spots before the creature dislodges itself, barrelling to the side in a spin that lands it on its feet, like a ballerina. You can see that half the engine is attached to one of it’s left claws as it lands on the ground. 

You’re not going anywhere. 

“FUCK! GET US OUT OF HERE!” The shark screams.

Steel follows up with a series of powered fist attacks, but the thing keeps moving out of its way each time, far too fast, before swinging a downwards slash that sends sparks and exposed circuitry out of his arm. He doesn’t get to recover, as it kicks him to the side, before tossing the engine pieces at him, causing Steel to lose balance and fall. It then starts heading back for the vehicle, and his target.

Anathema stands in front of Sentinel as the thing slashes down and to the sides with all four claws at the driver seat… and it works. Anathema just stands there, growling as he holds all of Catastrofiend’s claws, to on each hand, acid dripping out of them. One of the claws dissolves and snaps in two.

Catastrofiend recoils, freeing his weapons before stabbing again and again, but Annie won’t budge, getting in the way and sending splashing acid punches at it, causing the thing to shriek in pain. 

Realizing it can’t penetrate his skin, the monster spins yet again, kicking him upwards with a long-clawed leg that never gives him a chance to dodge, waiting for him to fall before pummeling him down against the ground with its broken claw repeatedly, using it as a hammer on his head and body, trying it’s hardest to kill him right there. The pavement cracks under the repeated impacts making you cringe. 

Charge rushes from the side, sending a solid electrical kick, forcing the fiend back as a recovered Steel closes in and Annie finally stands up. You draw your gun yourself, getting off the vehicle, as Sentinel steps off.

“What are you doing?!” The shark yells…

“Saving your skin. That thing is after you specifically” your sentence. It’s all too clear from the awful mind. Something compels it to kill the Loan Shark here and now. 

“Shit. Incompetent heroes…fuck this, I won’t get killed at the back of a narc van” Lewie says bitting onto the cufflinks with his teeth, breaking them up. 

“I need a gun,” he says, looking for one. 

“You’re  not getting one!” Sentinel yells.

“Hey! Sharks are people too!” he complains. 

“Here,” you say putting an end to the argument as you pass him a shotgun from the vehicle’s small weapon compartment. “And just so you know, you’re arrested again when this is over”

“Whatever,” he says loading it and walking behind you. “We’re all going to die anyway and you know it”

Sentinel gets out as well, taking to the air. 

Catastrofiend walks back as all six of you approach it, like a cornered beast. Or maybe that’s what It wants you to think… it’s impossible to tell.

“I’m sick of you fucker! EAT LEAD!” Lewie says shooting at its chest as he reloads.

It’s a decent hit, blood coming out of the beast. And it would have meant something if this was a regular villain. 

But this is the Catastrofiend, and it starts regenerating the moment it gets hit. The claw that Annie broke, is almost fully formed again as well. It roars back at the Shark in fury, before leaping in his direction.

Annie jumps to the side to intercept… but the fiend is faster. It opens It’s an inhuman mouth, vomiting a stream of purple liquid at his face, blinding him before stepping on his shoulders and leaping again, onto the shark. 

It seems it’s game over for the Loanshark when you notice the smoke stream of the RPG Steel just launched. You manage to cover your face in time, as it detonates in the air, sending the fiend off to the ground and away from Lewie. 

You take a chance and shoot at its chest repeatedly while it’s down as Lewie takes the chance to take a few shots as well, the two of you doing some serious damage as you keep pulling your triggers. Sentinel joins in, sending freezing winds his way as the two continue shooting until the thing’s covered in a thin icy layer, it’s chest almost destroyed by your weapons. Then It finally falls backward, immobile, with a dying screech.

“Is it dead?” Charge asks

You sense no more thoughts coming from it. “I don’t feel anything… but I’m no expert on monsters”

Half a minute passes before Charge finally nods to Steel, who curses and takes point, approaching slowly, gun aimed at its head… 

Right, when it the pain from its mind spikes again, forcing you to take a step back.

“ITS A TRAP!” you scream, just as the fiend swirls It’s clawed legs in a wide arch, somehow perfectly aiming them at Steel’s neck. But your warning came in time, and your ally manages to cover with his arms… which are both shredded by the sheer force of the blade’s impact. It takes you a moment to digest that part about Steel losing his mechanical hands… and he doesn’t seem to be assimilating it much better, as he cries out in pain.

Catastrofiend doesn’t have the time for it though, as it walks over, lifting him with the human hands, before passing him over to the claws, which it uses to catapult Chen, flying onwards onto Sentinel high in the air. Steel weights far too much for winds to stop the collision, and Sentinel ends up crushed under him, as they both fall out of sight.

Catastrofiend stands with a single motion, it’s chest still exposed to the bone from your previous shooting, but rapidly regenerating. 

It walks straight for the Loanshark when Annie, still covered in purple goo steps in the way with a battlecry… waving his arms to spill acid at the enemy… but nothing happens. He stays there, waving his fingers as a wizard whose spell’s won’t activate, only to be quickly slashed away… and the oddest thing is you can see a bloodened cut on his shoulder as he falls screaming. 

It just cut the only one of you who couldn’t ever be cut. 

But of course, there is no time to ponder on how the purple goo did that, not if you want to get out of this alive.

The shark keeps shooting, and the thing keeps ignoring, intent on killing him regardless of how much damage it takes. It swipes forwards, and the fish tries to block with his shotgun… which ends up in pieces. 

One of the eldritch blade-arms lunges forward before anyone can do anything else about it, and it cleanly goes trough his chest within a split-second. The Loanshark starts coughing up blood, looking at the thing in a mixture of disbelief and terror, before he falls limp to the side, the fiend screams in triumph, ready to shred him to pieces. 

Marshal charge quickly closes the distance but fails to surprise the monster, who doesn’t think twice before attempting to slash at him too. Charge dodges and counterattacks a number of times, his mods sparking high as he pushes it to the limit, getting several solid hits on it. Lightning hurts it, and it screams in pain each time. You send a few shots at it’s back, but it’s of little help… and of course, eventually, Charge’s luck runs out. 

He is caught by a diagonal slash that brings him down so hard he bounces on the pavement like a rag doll, followed by a sideswipe, that leaves him on his knees, helpless and looking down at his own bloodened chest and broken suit.  

The Catastrofiend looms over him, sharp blades wet with blood, one of them gently lifting his chin so it can get a better look at his eyes. It smiles, which only makes it even more terrifying.

“..Be.g fo.r…me.rcy…" it hisses in a weird, guttural growl.

Of all things, Ortega starts laughing. Laughing. Provoking it...

Shit. The thing laughs back at him and starts pulling its claws back, ready to finish him off.

It’s going to kill him. It’s going to kill him, and no one can do a fucking damn thing about it… all you have is your stupid energy gun… what can it do when machineguns, grenades, and shotguns are useless?

You aim at the back of its head with a sweaty grip. It’s the only thing you can do. You scream as you pull the trigger as if it could make the weapon stronger. Your powers trigger out of raw emotion, directed at the beast’s mind… and It feels it, immediately turning at you… 

The beam hits its face straight on as it does so, burning part of it, only for its regeneration to start almost immediately… You knew it wouldn’t work, it was useless… you’ve failed…   

But it stops. Catastrofiend stops, It’s claws retracting back to a resting position with a clinking sound. 

For the first time, you notice there’s some sort of electronic wiring attached to Its forehead, and  … and you fried part of it with your blast. 

Catastrofiend doesn’t stay still for long for you to examine what it all means.

 It howls in pain and fury, sending another wave of misery through your body, it’s thoughts becoming even more erratic. Did that device somehow keep it focused?!

 You try to recharge the gun, but before you can guess what’s going on, it turns and starts running off into the distance, faster than you thought possible. It climbs a building like a spider with its claws digging into the brick walls, before leaps onto another… and then it’s gone. 

Gone.

You’re the only one left standing. Steel and Sentinel are nowhere to be seen, while Annie’s squirming in pain, drenched in purple waste while holding his wound. The Loanshark lies in a puddle of blood… and of course,  Ortega’s on his knees in front of you bleeding to death, along with what’s left of the rangers.

A trembling hand takes your phone, taking it to your ear as you dial the number, and all you can hear is your own breath as your mind starts panicking waiting for someone to pick up.

“911, what’s your emergency?” someone asks as the call finally comes trough.

___________________________________________________

Rangers Infirmary, HQ. Present time. 

“So just let me get this straight…  I’m not the only one here at the infirmary am I right?”

“That’d be a hard no, Mr. Marshal” you smile weakly.

________________________

My fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[stubbornattempt]

I hope this is ok to try to get a message to you again. If you'd prefer that I didn't I'll certainly stop. There are just so many things I don't know or understand. The past couple of years I've come to believe that for whatever reasons you and I can never be together. And while this is my best guess, I realized I would like to know that for a fact. You see, I'm still in love with you and I always will be in love with you and I would wait as many years as it takes until its safe to be together, if there ever would come such a time. It's a long shot, but I'd like to know if there is a chance. That would change every aspect of my life. It seems to me that you and I can't be together because of the danger of being arrested, and if that is the case I would never want you to risk yourself trying to be with me. I would rather never see you again and let you have a good life. But maybe is there some sort of statute of limitations on the thing? If enough time goes by would everything be ok? I think about you every day and it hurts a lot. I can't put it into words but I ache like I've lost the thing in the world most precious to me. Sometimes I just whisper your name. I don't know how you feel. Maybe you don't still have strong feelings for me or even want to be together. If that's the case I'd rather not know that! You said you would always love me and I believe you. I remember every single thing you've ever said to me. You're in the deepest and most permanent part of me. You're my home and as long as we're apart I'll never be home. It's ok if that's what it boils down to. It's been a long time now and I've accepted the idea of never being together. I told you I'm dating this guy Steve and I like him well enough. It's slightly nicer to have someone than to be alone. But I don't think I could ever be in love with him, or anybody else really. I can love someone as a person and be fond of them but that's not the same as being in love. I've just accepted that any other relationship I have I will be settling for less. Over the past year I've started becoming what I think might be a bad person. I'm just selfish and sometimes I feel absolutely nothing. I don't care that the planet is dying. I don't really want to expend energy to help anybody else and I do the bare minimum to help myself. I have more callous and angry thoughts than I used to, and until recently I've been aware of becoming a worse human being but I haven't cared. I'm also becoming increasingly perverted, and while I don't think there's anything wrong with a fantasy that you would never act on, I wonder what it says about me that I'm getting off on things that would disturb most people. I've always had a twisted sort of libido I guess, but its just firing on all cylinders now and I wonder if I'm so different from regular people that I'll always be on the outside pretending to fit in and hiding my true self. I did about 4 weeks of school and withdrew from my classes. I didn't want to do the work and I didn't like the subject material very much. It was Statistics and Chemistry and I realized I was gonna have to work hard to get A's. I didn't really want to be in school anyway. After visiting Steve in Cleveland for 5 weeks I realized that I could live a decent life on a tight budget. I'll get disability checks forever until I die, so if I don't want to I really don't have to work. And the truth is that I definitely don't want to work. Even if I wanted to I don't know if I could. I've always had trouble having to be places. Sometimes, quite frequently in fact, I break down and quit. I can't be somewhere all the time and also be forced to be around people. These days I find I'm happiest when I'm watching TV. There are enough shows out there that I could watch TV for the rest of my life. And when I get bored of that I could read books and do a little exercising. I have the opportunity to just have all my time to myself and I'd rather be poor and have that than go back to school, pay a shit ton of money, and then have to fucking work some job I'll probably hate. In any event, I don't think Biotechnology is the degree for me. The only potential job I would actually enjoy is being a therapist or counselor of some sort, and that would take a lot of schooling to get to a point where I could have a career. I'm a little too old now to look down that road. Maybe not. I just don't feel like being back in school just yet. I still have too many emotional and psychological issues that I'm dealing with. I've decided to get some therapy myself. I think I'll go next week. Try to talk about some of this stuff. Eventually I told a few people about what I went through. I told Steve, another online friend, and then today I told Michelle some of it. Maybe talking about it will somehow help? If I thought there was a possibility of being able to be with you in the future it would infuse every aspect of my life with such profound happiness. I'm not holding out much hope for it, but I think you should give me an answer if you can safely get one to me. If there is no chance I think I'll move to Cleveland. Not because I'm so crazy about Steve, but I like him well enough and its an opportunity to start over. I love where I live but there are memories everywhere I go. I can't be the way I was again, and being reminded of everything I used to have can be painful. Cleveland is very cheap and poor and I could fit right in. My mother will be supremely disappointed upon finding that I don't intend to go to school and then get a job and I can't really explain myself to her. Telling my family about my life is out of the question. So in Cleveland I could at least be in a new setting where I'm not bombarded with memories around every corner, with a guy who I enjoy spending time with, and I could live cheaply. As you get older your options narrow all the time. I'm looking at my options and it seems like the best one. Today I miss you so much I want to cry. I don't cry that much these days. After I figured out you weren't coming for me again I didn't cry for a year or something. I did some art therapy on Tumblr and listened to a lot of screamo. Last winter I made that playlist I sent to you, and I would listen to it all day every day for like a month or two and cry to it. I haven't cried since then I don't think. Crying doesn't do anything anymore. My emotions are resoundingly futile. I'm so scared of forgetting a detail or a feeling. I'm scared of the time and distance that separates me from when I last saw you and I'm scared that it's only ever going to grow. I'm scared of getting older and inevitably not being the same person I used to be and I'm realizing the thing that might save me is that I don't want to become someone you would no longer love, even if we never see each other again. I want to be the person that you love and I don't know how to do that going into the future without you. As I slowly turn into somebody else that's putting even more distance between us. It hurts so much its the dullest ache. No one will ever know what we shared and that's ok as long as I can keep it alive in my heart and my mind, but life is long I guess. Even though we're not together somehow I'm scared of losing you. Loving you is the most profound experience of my life. A future without you is static, muted, black and white. I feel like I lived more than most people in life ever have. I've had more mystery and adventure, trauma and pain, and depth of love. Sometimes I actually feel lucky, even though it devastated my life for good. At least I was special for a time, and experienced something unique in all the world. And I experienced your love, which is my top rated experience of all time. Sometimes I beg your memory not to leave me. So far it hasn't, but I'm afraid of Time. I'll wrap this rant up here. I just wanted to say that I'll no longer send you messages on Facebook. I guess that might be dangerous somehow? I also want you to know that I will never come looking for you. If you want to be with me and its safe, the ball is totally in your court. I don't want you to feel haunted by me and if you don't want to hear from me I won't message you. Even if we can't be together IRL maybe we could keep in touch through secret messages over the years? Maybe just an update every couple of years? I want you to have a life and be happy and I don't want to interfere with that. So maybe you'd prefer a clean break and just to let me go? Fuck, I love you so much. Whatever you want is fine with me. I only ask that you give me a sign so I can know for a fact that it's over forever. You don't even need to tell me why. All I really want to do in this life is tell you how much I love you. I'm trying to live my life and I am. Some days are easier than others. I'm alone in my headspace most of the time. I don't know if it helps or does harm to think about everything so much. I'm realizing a lot about my limitations and coming to terms with what the rest of my life is going to look like. I think I could find reasonable happiness if I moved away and started new. As long as I stay in this city my family will make me feel bad for not accomplishing anything professionally. And I just don't have it in me to be what they want me to be. Everything I went through from like 2011-2017 or whatever it was, that is and has to be my "contribution" to the world because I truly don't have anything left to give. I'll never feel like everybody else and no matter what happiness and stability I'm able to attain, there will forever be this deep current of sadness for everything lost. I find myself feeling alienated from other people and not totally respecting their emotions and experiences because of what I've been through. Things I went through were so extreme it makes it hard for me to take the plights of others so seriously. I'm on the outside forever and I am alone forever. I feel happier with Steve but he doesn't have much emotional depth and even though I told him about you/everything I don't think he begins to understand. So I'm alienated forever from everyone IRL and nobody who knows what happened to me is willing to talk to me. What exactly happened anyway? When did John first start filming me? When did others start watching? What's the ballpark number of people who were watching me? Were there cameras in the bathrooms? In the Tea House? Basic fucking things I'll never know. No one affiliated with the theater is ever going to tell me and there's no way to find the answers to my questions. It used to be very troubling to not know, but I've come to terms with not knowing. It's not that high on my list of concerns anymore. The PTSD from believing that John was going to kill me has probably subsided as well. I don't think I really have schizophrenia, but I think you guys gave me schizophrenia for a time. I was out there seeing clues and receiving messages left and right and that shit did get pretty scary. But I don't see clues and messages anymore, so I doubt I'm schizo. Maybe I have like schizo-affective disorder or something, but I don't think I'm schizo. I even stopped taking my meds months ago and I'm fine. I'll pretend to the docs like I'm taking my meds and I'm fine with the diagnosis as it has allowed me to be given disability. I feel like I deserve disability and I honestly feel like after what I lived through that I shouldn't have to work. I know I said earlier that I was wrapping this up, but I do not want to stop talking to you ever. My love. I also want you to know that there is no future where I blame you for what I went through or am angry with you. Looking back over our communication I see perfectly clearly that you didn't lie to me or deceive me. I think you made some poor decisions because I would have liked to marry you straight away and skip the internet games. I know you feel badly about the way things happened. I don't want you to though. It's bad enough that I'm not happy, if you can be happy you really should be. I'm so glad that you have your kids in your life. It makes me very happy to know that you have those meaningful relationships. That night in the truck when it seemed like we were running away, if that's what was really happening I want you to know how much it meant to me that you were willing to leave everyone in your life to be with me. It was powerful. Obviously I'd do the same for you anytime at all, but I don't have kids. So your devotion to me was the most impressive gesture anyone has ever made for me. I don't think anyone has ever really seen me the way you did. I want to always be that person you fell in love with but that can't be. I'm growing older and changing and the changes probably aren't all good. Thank you for being there at my most vulnerable and for intoxicating me with your love. I know I was probably draining and maybe demanded more from you than you had signed up for. I hope I didn't mess things up for you too much. I know your wife left you and it seemed like my going to where you used to work may have influenced her decision? Anyway, I hope you don't look back and think of me as a mistake that made you lose your wife. Even if its not me I hope you find someone who loves you. I would just hope that you never stop loving me. I don't know how I'm gonna carry myself through the rest of my life. Maybe things can be better than I'm imagining. Maybe I'll be more of a good person than a creep. I have to try a little bit harder though. I'm so disaffected. I don't like being around people or going out and doing things. If I move to Cleveland Steve will make sure I get out and do things. He has crazy levels of energy and fills every second of the day with an activity. After 5 weeks I was thoroughly exhausted, but perhaps that's a good type of personality for me to be around. It's hard for me to stop writing to you because it kind of feels like spending time with you when I talk to you. I would love to hear from you. Anything from you I cherish. I'm afraid to look at your blogs or your online accounts though. I don't want to see things that aren't meant for me. It also hurts. I only want to see things from you that are meant for me. Anything you could tell me about how you're feeling or what actually happened I would be grateful to hear. You could be creative. I'll know if its you. One last thing I forgot to mention is that I'm having transgender problems again. I've decided not to pursue transitioning. It's a little late in the game for me. The results wouldn't be as good. It's a lot of fucking work to transition. Most people are wildly transphobic. I don't want to have to explain and justify my existence to everybody. I don't want to be discriminated against. My mom might disinherit me. It would be harder to date. I'd be a dude with a vagina which is awkward. Top surgery is a lot of money. I don't think I want to shave my face every day. A lot of trans people say that if you can live as a cis person that you definitely should because being a transsexual is very hard. The part of my life were it would have mattered being correctly gendered the most is behind me. I'm just saying fuck it. It's just one more way that my life fails to be perfect. If I did transition probably I would be happier and more comfortable in social situations and more likely to socialize but the cost is very high. Maybe I'm being cowardly or lazy about it, but I'm trying to be pragmatic. Anyway, I'll love you no matter what even when you're 70 and bald and your teeth are falling out, so if at any point in your life you want to be with me and its possible, reach out. I'm yours and its not possible to make it otherwise. If you don't respond to this I guess I'll take that as a sign and try not to contact you again. If that happens I want you to know that I will think of you always. As the years roll on I will imagine you raising your kids, going to their graduations and weddings, having grand kids, growing old. I'll think about you in your dorky baseball caps and playing the guitar, enjoying your success and continuing to crusade against the insanity in the world. Your obsessiveness, your industriousness, your raw intelligence and creativity. I think you're golden. That night in the motel room when I refused to leave you and because of that you ended up getting away, that was the thing in my life that I'm most proud of and I would do it over and over again. At least I was given the opportunity to demonstrate how much I care for you. Not everybody gets to make such a dramatic gesture. I hope you feel it in your bones how much you are loved. I hope I'm inside of you the way you are in me. If you still feel the same for me, please consider the possibility of trying again if there is any possible way. I would try to be the best version of myself for you. I've decided to try that anyway, but it would be easier with you. Can I tell you just one more time? I love you. I was a kid for a long time, longer than usual, but I'm less so every day. And although I'm a terribly inadequate adult I don't think I would be a burden on you. I'm financially independent now, I have a car and a license and I've dealt with a lot of my problems on my own. I still have many lingering problems but I don't think you'd have to repair me as much. We could have a relationship based on mutual love more than need. After everything, wouldn't it feel like the world’s greatest victory? It would to me anyway. I'm just appealing to you on the chance that we could try to make it work. If it was my choice we'd never stop trying. Ok, I've been long-winded. It feels super good to talk to you. I hope against hope that this isn't the last time.

[andrewdburton]

Debt consolidation: How does it work and is it right for you?

When you have debts everywhere you turn, it can feel like you’re completely swamped. Your hands are tied every payday as you funnel money into paying off debts, leaving you with no room to save.  

That’s why a lot of people turn to debt consolidation, which is when you use a loan to pay off all of your debt — and it can seem like a godsend.

But wait, how is ANOTHER debt supposed to help?

Of course, you’re right to be suspicious. The thing is, it can help but only if you do it right. Do it wrong and you’ll be kicking yourself from a position worse than you’re in now. So, should I consolidate my debt?

Debt consolidation can work as a way to pay off debt faster. However, if you’re not disciplined and look for help in the wrong places, you’ll end up spending MORE time paying off your debt.

Let’s take a look at what debt consolidation is, how to consolidate debt, the pros and cons, where to find a reputable organization to help you, and ways you can get out of debt fast.

What is debt consolidation?

Debt consolidation combines all of the debt you owe into a single payment with a lower monthly interest rate. This typically works by taking out another loan in order to pay off all of your other debt.

Let’s say you have debt across three credit cards and you owe the following:

Credit card A: $2,000 at 10% APR

Credit card B: $1,000 at 20% APR

Credit card C: $1,000 at 15% APR

Each month, you’re contributing $100 to each card for a total of $300 — however, a portion of each is being eaten by interest:

Credit card A: $16.67

Credit card B: $16.67

Credit card C: $12.50

So in all you’re paying $254.16 towards your debt rather than the full $300.

With debt consolidation, you take out a loan of $4,000 and pay off ALL of the above debt — and you get a lower interest rate for the loan at 10%.

Now each month when you contribute $300 you’ll pay $266.67 towards your debt rather than just $254.16.

In theory, this means you’ll be able to pay off your debt faster.

The interest rate you’re able to get depends on which type of loan you attain:

Secured loan. This is a loan where you put up an asset (e.g., car or home) as collateral. If you default on your loan, your creditor will repossess said asset.

Unsecured loan. This is a loan that just uses credit. As a result though, you might end up with higher interest rates than if you had a secured loan.

If you want to get your debt consolidated, you’ll have to go through one of the two routes above — which we’ll get into later.

Before we do that though, it’s important you know the dangers around consolidating your debt.  

The problem with debt consolidation

But before you click on one of those scammy internet ads marketing “DEBT CONSOLIDATION — BE DEBT FREE IN 3 HOURS,” consider the big drawbacks to debt consolidation:

1. It could take longer to pay down your debt

If there’s anything we’ve learned about human psychology over a decade of studying behavior and personal finances, it’s that things like that are easier said than done.

For example, if the average person ends up saving $300 in interest payments because of debt consolidation, do you think they’ll use that extra money towards their debt OR do you think they’ll end up spending it?

Most likely, the latter.

Human willpower is limited. It’s the same reason why cutting out lattes or skipping lunch to save money doesn’t work.

A person with 300 “extra dollars” might end up just blowing it on something else.

What happens then is it takes longer to pay down debt. This results in even MORE fees they have to pay.

Aside from diminishing willpower, many debt consolidation loan companies offer up longer loan terms than people realize. So while the interest rate is lower, they end up paying more because they didn’t take into account how long they’d have the loan for.

2. You could lose your home or car

If you decide to put your car or home down as collateral you stand to lose much more than a few thousand dollars off the life of your loan.

A home equity loan is also known as a second mortgage. Taking a second mortgage out on your home means you risk losing your house if you fail to make payments.

Of course there are some advantages to going this route. For one you can deduct the interest payments from your home equity loan from your taxes. Plus you’ll be able to get a lower interest rate than if you went the unsecured route.

Overall, though, it’s just not worth the risk — especially when there are better ways to go about it.

3. Your credit score will suffer

There are a few things that go into making a great credit score. One of them is your credit history — or how long you’ve had credit for.

It actually accounts for 15% of your overall score.

That might seem small but consider this: If you get rid of a bunch of different lines of credit at once, your credit score is going to take a huge drop. That drop gets bigger with more and more lines of credit you close.

How do you know if debt consolidation is right for you?

Debt consolidation can be a great way to plan your route out of debt. But that doesn’t mean it’s the perfect solution for everyone. 

The benefits of debt consolidation are hard to argue with. You can simplify your debt, save money on interest, only deal with one creditor, and (hopefully) clear your debt faster. But there are pros and cons you need to know about before you make this decision.

It can be the best move for some, but worse for others. 

Signs debt consolidation is right for you

You have high-interest debts

The number one sign that debt consolidation is a good option for you is if you have several high-interest debts. Why pay interest on several debts when you can pay it on just one?

If you know you can secure a lower interest loan, it makes sense to consolidate your debts. 

According to Experian, the average personal loan interest rate is 9.41% — whereas the average interest rate for credit cards is around 16%. So, if you’ve got a ton of credit card debt, it’s worth considering debt consolidation.

You have good credit

If you’re already in debt, getting another loan might be tricky unless you have good credit. Most creditors will want a credit score of around 670 (FICO Score). 

If you have good credit, you’re more likely to get approved, and also get a loan with decent interest rates. Remember, you want a loan with lower interest rates than your current debts, so this part is key. If your credit score isn’t the best, a new loan might not have favorable interest rates. 

You want a fixed repayment schedule

With some debts like credit cards, it’s easy to just make the minimum payments or even miss a payment (please don’t do this). This makes it harder to clear the debt because some of it relies on willpower. 

With a personal loan, you have a fixed payment and loan term that you have to abide by. This makes it much easier to stay on track and clear your debts. It also means there are no fluctuations in your monthly debt payments like with a credit card so it’s easier to budget for. 

Signs debt consolidation is NOT right for you

You have a poor credit score 

Having a poor credit score is one reason why a lot of people want to get out of debt as fast as possible. 

However, debt consolidation relies on you not only being able to take out a new loan but also getting one without crazy high interest rates. 

If the only loans you can take out mean you’ll be paying MORE in interest rates, then it’s not worth it. In this case, the only benefit would be to simplify your loans. 

But what you really need is to save on interest so you can clear the debts faster. 

You’re on the verge of bankruptcy

If things have taken a downward turn and creditors are threatening to sue, then a debt consolidation loan may not even be accessible to you. Bankruptcy is a scary thought, but if this is your reality, you are unlikely to qualify for a debt consolidation loan.

If this is your current situation, you would be better off looking into debt settlement to try and reduce your debt amount first. 

You can’t afford the monthly repayments

Taking on another debt is tricky if you’re already in debt. While you can use this one to clear your other debts, you need to make sure you can cover the monthly repayments. 

As it’ll be a higher debt amount (to cover all your other debts), the monthly repayments will be higher. Make sure that you can fit it comfortably into your budget before taking on new debt. 

After all, missing repayments can set you back even further. 

How to consolidate debt — and get rid of it completely

If you’re STILL interested in consolidating your debt, I want to help you.

Because there are a LOT of scammy consolidation services out there. These “businesses” will promise that they’ll help you get out of debt fast through their loan packages …

… only to screw you with hidden fees, bloated interest rates, and long loan terms.

The trick here then is to separate the good debt consolidation organizations from the bad ones.

Step 1: Find a non-profit debt consolidation firm

Non-profit debt consolidation firms are 501(c)(3) organizations that help provide you with consolidation services, credit counseling, and will even negotiate with your creditors for you.

The best part: They do so with little to no costs to you since they’re funded by third-party sources such as donations and grants.

Unfortunately, even scammers and bad consolidation services have non-profit status. So you’ll have to do your research into finding a reputable one.

Two good signs a non-profit debt consolidation firm is the real deal:

Fees. A reputable non-profit will likely have monthly maintenance fees. Luckily, they’re relatively low cost — and if you’re in really dire straits, some non-profits will waive the fees entirely for you.

Non-profit status. This might seem like a no-brainer but it still needs to be said: Ask them for verification of their non-profit status. Too many scam companies pretend they’re non-profits in order to lure people in. Don’t be one of those people.

Make a list of 5 to 10 non-profit debt consolidation firms. Spend the next week calling each of them and getting a consultation on your situation and what they can do for you.

A good non-profit will spend about an hour on your consultation. Beware of any organization that wants to take your money and put you into a plan right away. They are NOT looking out for your best interests.

Step 2: Eliminate temptation

Luckily, a non-profit debt consolidation firm will take care of a lot of legwork for you. That means they’ll call your creditors, negotiate down your debt and interest rate, and work with them to consolidate all of your debt into one manageable monthly payment.

Unluckily, that’s the easy part. The hard part means actually doing the work of paying down your debt — and that’s up to you.

To do that, you need to first get rid of the temptation of using your credit cards until you’re debt-free. If you ever expect to pay down your debt, you can’t add more to it.

Here’s my favorite tip: Plunge your cards into a bowl of water and shove it all into your freezer.

Seriously. Remember what we said about human willpower? It’s very weak — so weak that a solution like freezing your cards is necessary sometimes to delete temptation.

When you literally freeze your credit, you’ll have to chip away at a massive block of ice in order to get it back — giving you time to think about whether or not you want to go through with whatever purchase you were going to make.

You can also give them away to a loved one to keep until you’re out of debt.

Step 3: Confront your debt

It’s good to finally confront your debt. That’s the first step to getting out of it. 

While it may be tough to climb out of debt, the sooner you make a plan to do so, the better. You’ll be able to repair your credit score, work on boosting your savings, save on interest, and finally get some sleep at night. Debt can weigh heavily on the mind, after all. 

The good thing is, you don’t have to do this all alone. There’s help at hand. You can get in touch with a non-profit debt consolidation firm to help you. Take advantage of their credit counseling services to help steer you through unmanageable debt. Do your research and find a non-profit so you can avoid the scammers out there. 

It’s easy to feel bad for yourself and avoid confronting your debt. It’s harder to actually step up and do something about it.

Since you’re here, that means that you’re willing to put in the work to dig yourself out of your financial hole which is amazing!

What is the difference between debt consolidation and debt settlement?

Another term you’ll likely come across in your quest to clear your debt is debt settlement. But what is it? 

Both debt settlement and debt consolidation are used to handle personal debt, but they work in very different ways.

Debt settlement is used to reduce the total amount of debt owed. Whereas debt consolidation is about reducing the number of creditors you owe. 

With debt consolidation, you combine multiple debts into one. Debt settlement is when you ask one or more of your creditors to accept less than you owe.

If the creditor agrees, you both reach a settlement agreement in either a lump sum or installments. 

Which one is best for you? 

This depends on your circumstances and what the creditor will agree to. If you want to make your monthly repayments more manageable and reduce the amount of interest you pay, then debt consolidation is the way to go.

If you’re already behind on payments and are struggling to meet them, then debt settlement might be a better option. 

In this case, if you’re already behind on payments you might struggle to get a debt consolidation loan anyway because of the impact on your credit score. So, debt settlement is definitely something to try out to reduce the burden. 

Debt settlement is the next logical step if you’re out of options, have poor credit, and want to avoid declaring bankruptcy if at all possible. 

It may mean taking a hit on your credit score, but you might have to just accept that. Once the debts are clear, you can get to work on repairing that damage. 

How does debt settlement work?

Debt settlement is a tricky one and requires you to whip out your negotiation skills. There’s no guarantee the creditor will agree, but there’s no harm in asking.

The process is pretty simple. You can ask your creditor if they would be willing to negotiate a settlement. Do this over the phone or in writing to keep a record of the conversation.

A creditor can do one of three things:

Accept it

Reject it

Make a counteroffer

With the counteroffer, you will need to consider if the amount they want is affordable in your budget. Make sure you’re agreeing to something that’s realistic and fair. 

Once you agree on a settlement amount, all that’s left is to arrange the payments. This can either be a lump sum or through installment payments, whichever you agree to. 

After you’ve made the payments, the remaining balance that’s been hanging over your head will be a nice round zero. 

If negotiating debt settlement on your own sounds like a nightmare, don’t worry. There is help at hand. You can hire a debt settlement company to negotiate on your behalf. However, this does involve paying them a fee, and again, you have to do your research to avoid hiring a scammer. 

Pros and cons of debt settlement

Pros

You reduce your debt amount

The biggest pro to debt settlement is simply that you reduce your debt amount. A lot of people don’t know that you can ask your creditors for this. So they carry on struggling. 

But if you’re struggling, it can’t hurt to ask. If a creditor agrees, you could cut hundreds of dollars from your debt and all the interest that comes on top of that.

You can clear your debt faster

With a smaller debt amount to pay off, you can pay it off faster. Whether you agree on a payment plan or a lump sum, you’ll be able to say goodbye to your debts much sooner. 

This means your money will be freed up faster to put into savings accounts or whatever else you want to spend your money on. You can also get to work repairing any damage to your credit score once the debt is clearer. The sooner the better. 

It could help you avoid bankruptcy

If bankruptcy is on the horizon, debt settlement should absolutely be a consideration. The last thing you want is a bankruptcy on your record. You can pretty much say goodbye to being able to take out credit for a LONG time if you reach this point.

Cons

Your credit score will take a hit

Naturally, debt settlement does not reflect well on your ability to repay debts. If you have debt settlement in your credit history, it signals to future creditors that you are riskier to lend to. This could result in sky-high interest rates or outright credit rejection in the future.

However, if your credit score is already low and your debts are just making it worse, then you pretty much have nothing to lose. Yes, you’ll take a hit, but you’ll also get out of debt sooner if your creditors agree to debt settlement.

You might struggle to get credit again… especially with those creditors

A lower-than-ideal credit score does affect your ability to take out credit in the future. However, if you’ve been in a tricky situation with credit, it’s probably worth avoiding new loans and finance for a little while anyway. 

The creditors who agree to debt settlement will likely avoid lending to you again because they will be worried about losing money. This could limit your options in the future. But if it’s your only option, you might just have to just bite the bullet.

There is no guarantee creditors will agree

Unfortunately, if you’re relying on creditors to throw you a lifeline here, you might be out of luck. In an ideal scenario, they’ll be forgiving and offer you a way to climb out of debt in a way that benefits everyone. 

But there’s no guarantee they’ll do this. They could outright reject your request or be inflexible with their counteroffer.

There’s little you can do if this is the case. You can try another of your creditors if you have several debts to see if any of them will agree. 

Avoiding debt in the future

After you’ve decided on a method to reduce your debt – don’t stop. Ridding yourself of debt is just one key part of building strong personal finance. The other part of the puzzle is to manage your spending so you don’t end up in the same position as before. 

The last thing you want to do is put all your hard work into clearing the debt, only to succumb to temptation or poor money management which puts you right back where you started. 

That’s why we want to give you something that can help you take your personal finances to the next level:  The Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance. In it, you’ll learn how to:

Master your 401k: Take advantage of the free money offered to you by your company.

Manage Roth IRAs: Start saving for retirement in a worthwhile long-term investment account.

Spend the money you have — guilt-free: By leveraging the systems in this e-book, you’ll learn exactly how you’ll be able to save money to spend without the guilt.

Enter your info below and get on your way to living a Rich Life today.

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Debt consolidation: How does it work and is it right for you? is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/debt-consolidation/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[marcjampole]

Behind Trump GOP grand plan to reduce deficit by cutting spending on social welfare, healthcare & Social Security is idea that the poor are inferior & undeserving

As many others have pointed out, the Republican Party hasn’t wasted any time letting the other shoe drop. They’re dancing their standard two-step of first creating a deficit by cutting taxes on the wealthy and then wailing that the deficit is hurting the economy; of course, the only way to fix it by cutting government spending on social welfare programs.

Reagan pulled this swindle in the 1980’s. Bush did it in the first decade of the 21st century.

And now the Republicans are about to take the first step of the same old swindle by giving the ultra-wealthy the largest tax cut in American history. Most everyone knows that the Trump GOP plan is to pay for this new federal largesse to our least needy in three ways: 1) Cutting spending; 2) Raising taxes on the middle class; 3) Creating a deficit.

Typically, the GOP waits a few years before calling for slashing federal spending, but this crass and brazen new Trump-led GOP has already begun to call for deep cuts to close the large and soon to get larger deficit. Both Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan have explicitly said that the next step is to radically shrink Medicare and Social Security.

Yes, Social Security. Remember, Reagan tried to go after the government run insurance program into which employees pay 6.25% of their earnings (up to a very low $118,500 annually) for the promise of a steady check once they retire. Social Security provides the bulk of retirement income for most Americans. The best Reagan could do was raise the tax, trim benefits and enable the federal government to borrow money from the Social Security Trust Fund. Since then, Republicans routinely treat Social Security as if it were part of the budget, and not a separate Trust Fund.

Bush II went after Social Security literally the day after his second inauguration and it backfired. Obama’s Simpson-Bowles Commission wanted to lower Social Security benefits as a way to pay for the great tax cut to the wealthy it was proposing. That went nowhere fast.

Now the Republicans are ready for another assault on Social Security as part of a broader plan to get the federal government out of the business of helping anyone except those who don’t need the help. There’s little chance they’ll succeed in doing much more than raising the retirement age or trimming the benefit. Too many people depend upon on Social Security, so like any head-on assault against the Affordable Care Act, an attempt to end or radically change Social Security will fail. Little nibbles at its edges, however, have succeeded before, so even as the GOP fire-bombers ask for a radical change such as privatization, the so-called moderates will be pushing to nip and tuck the program—lowering annual increases, raising the retirement age, increasing the tax, anything but raising the cap on income assessed the Social Security tax, which would of course hurt rich folk.

One reason that Social Security is so hard for the GOP to attack is that everyone uses it, and so it is impossible for the GOP to pretend that only the undeserving receive Social Security benefits, like they do with welfare, food stamps and Medicaid.

For those unhip to the language of racial coding, when the Republicans label a group like food stamp recipients as underserving, they mean “of color,” and more recently also “immigrant.” They revel in assuming that most recipients of aid from the government are minorities, and then playing on the racism that many whites still harbor—the secret feeling that whites are superior and, the not-so-secret fear that minorities are taking away the good jobs, the promotions and the college acceptances, deserving none of it. In fact, whites born and raised in the good ole U-S-of-A make up the overwhelming majority of the recipients of virtually all social welfare programs. But if the GOP can convince their base that only minorities—the undeserving—receive the benefit, they have a good chance of keeping their support.

We can already see the GOP begin to demonize the poor. Many news and opinion articles are repeating some of the odious things Republicans have been saying to justify cutting social welfare programs. Comments by Senators Chuck Grassley and Orrin Hatch that blamed the poor for their predicament have rightfully received widespread condemnation. Grassley said that poor folk would be rich if they spent less on booze, women and movies. Hatch chided poor children without healthcare for “not lifting a finger” to help themselves.

Behind the racism of these comments is a secondary code that the news media does not pick up on, and in fact often enables. To a much smaller, but much richer base than the uneducated white wage-working class, goes this secondary message: It’s not just minorities and immigrants who are inferior, undeserving and responsible for their own dire condition—it is anyone who isn’t rich. The rich got that way through their hard work, deserve what they have and don’t deserve to have it taken away from them—no matter what.

The idea of the deserving rich and the underserving poor predates Ronald Reagan’s politics of selfishness. It is a mutation of what sociologists call the “Protestant ethic.” The Protestant ethic starts with the idea that it’s not prayer or ritual or even faith that gets you into heaven, but good works in the real world. But one form of Protestantism, Calvinism, added the concept of “predestination” that those deserving god’s grace and a glorious afterlife were predetermined. As early as the Dutch Golden Age—decades before social thinkers were using Darwin’s theories to justify letting the wealthy prey on everyone else in a deregulated, laissez-faire market economy—the Protestant ethic underwent a secular inversion, at least in business circles and among the clericals feeding at their trough. The idea arose that becoming a success, and specifically a financial success, was a sign of goodness and god’s grace. Conversely, the poor manifested their inferiority by virtue of being poor. In a sense, everyone becomes self-made, untethered from their social background and wealth and the vagaries of chance. We know you’re inherently good because you’re rich. We assume that the poor remain so because they are inherently bad. The virtue of the “self-made multimillionaire,” as the right-looking-center publication The Economist once described Mitt Romney.

Of course the real world is far different, full of virtuous teachers, professors, nurses, home health aides and other educators and care-givers who make less money than they would as corporate attorneys or investment bankers. It’s also full of virtuous bus drivers, security guards, construction workers, janitors, telemarketers, cashiers, burger flippers and other low-paid jobs who work just as hard as corporate CEOs, hedge fund managers, advertising executives and professional athletes, but make much less money.

The wealthy have been playing one form or another of the “we deserve it” card since the emergence of modern democracy. Racism makes it easier to play because a racial inferior is by definition undeserving. But the ultra-wealthy merely use racism to divide and conquer. Believe me, they—and by “they” I mean the Trumps, Kochs, DeVoses, Mnuchins, Mercers, Anschutzes, Scaifes and their ilk—have just as much disdain for all poor people as the poor uneducated cracker cruising white power websites has for minorities.

[goshiyachi]

The life lessons of a poorly placed fellow and his companion that tried to comfort the poor boy but couldn't because goddammit he fled before the friend could utter a word

Fandom: Tokyo Ghoul Gen: Nagachika Hideyoshi & Kaneki Ken Summary: If there was anything Hide ever personally learned by the grips of life, it was to keep your friends close and your enemies the hell away from your friends.   Prompts Used: Forever, Eternity, Wisdom, Life @hideweek

Or read on Ao3. 

Part of the problem that life has insisted was the necessary qualms of the need to always tell the truth or die lying in shame.

Of course it lead to enough debates and many inner monologues to see how diverse people were about their opinions. Some were insightful, others were better off living underneath a rock and forgotten. But for the record Nagachika Hideyoshi grew up to a world that loved to debate, thrash, and whine. It showed the viewpoint that humanity and other inhabitants that lived off the Earth’s resources had three common stages of what life presented to them. Birth, struggle and Death.

It wasn’t the most glamorous but it was straightforward enough. All so much easier to incite a young fellow to become more impressionable and fool around. To create mishaps and cry when the milk carton was spilled both figuratively and metaphorically. Hide on the other hand, saw it as an opportunity to bend the rules in calculated risks. Enough to benefit himself and whoever was wronged from the world. (Which was a lot of people the more he thought of it.) It was all a work in progress the way people, ghouls and, whatever was in between tried to survive. And it was something that made him well aware of the rules that the world imposed to its inhabitants.

There was enough people that grew up believing that nobody could live a whole life without stating a lie; saints were hard to come by after all. Most were fictional, others were too far stretched to believe fully. It was in the human condition to be imperfect. Now Hide wasn’t the most religious person out there; and neither were most of people he surrounded himself with. But Hide liked to believe that there were more than enough room to place faith high on his thinking ability. Without that kind of mentality then shit could have been worse. That was why he smiled when in doubt, laughed when the pain was overflowing too close for comfort and joked when the silence was deafening his lungs.

It wasn’t foul-proved; but it was better than letting the cold harsh world crashing his mood. Being pessimist wasn’t something that was ideal for his type of living. Wisdom came in all different packages and Hide saw that early on as ghouls were subjected to inequalities that were closely classified as inhumanly disposing what should have never been created in the first place. That was a tough pill to swallow. And it never got easier the way his interests started to tumble into his realities. Maybe it was a sick joke from God. Either way, Hide, himself chose to suck it up and deal with it.

Too bad he forgot who he was best friend’s with.

Because if he had the fortune of being able to manipulate time he would have done so the second he learned about Kaneki’s beginning (or technically middle) of huge misfortunes. It would have saved everyone’s asses if Hide had a list of people, ghouls, times and places to avoid or never utter out loud. It would have sold well in the black market in the wrong hands. So it was really a good thing that Hide pledged himself to live like a good citizen. Yet, that was how life totally didn’t dig Hide enough that it started fucking with him.

And it was so much fucking.

There was no consent, and it made Hide a little bitter the way it created a wall between what his life used to look like and how it was evaporating. He hated how he went every day that he could to visit his best friend in the hospital but was only to be greeted by defeat. It was annoying to go to each class in college and never have Kaneki there to greet him. He missed the way he had to horde the books away from Kaneki when it was movie nights, or make the stupid comments and have his best friend silently judge him while outwardly judging some more but with a politer undertone. He was getting lonelier with every passing second Kaneki didn’t want to see him.

It hurt a shit ton the way it looked like Kaneki didn’t want to Hide around. It was dumb to feel let down but Hide loved his best friend; he just wanted him to understand that shutting down on everything wasn’t healthy. Being a hypocrite himself Hide knew the faults of bottling everything. There was never a cure to living happily after the scars were laid on the surface. However, that didn’t mean that Kaneki had to shoot Hide in the heart the way he left him hanging. He knew about the anxiety and shyness of Kaneki; he was the wallflower that Hide needed to protect.

But that didn’t mean that Hide was stupid enough to not see what was going down with his best friend’s life. Something bigger than what existed between them snapped Kaneki. He texted him, he left a note with some comfort food by his apartment but in the back of his mind Hide knew. Their lives would forever be changed because Nagachika Hideyoshi miscalculated. And it was huge mother of a one. So there went their plans on road tripping during their next semester break.

Now all Hide could do was offer the space Kaneki wanted. He could try out becoming a monk or something because he needed a whole life’s worth of knowledge to figure out what to do with life and its tendency to making him its bitch. Hell, maybe it was time to renew his library card and start reading some self-help books and try to sort out why everything was starting to get shitty and maybe learn how to laugh more honestly when someone made a bad joke that even he couldn’t laugh at. Still, it left him pretty much hollow with the way his schedule was embarrassingly constructed to spending like ninety percent time with Kaneki. It wasn’t like he was antisocial; Hide was just more comfortable with living a life knowing Kaneki was safe and happy to be his friend.

That wasn't weird.

Nagachika Hideyoshi was just being a good friend. He was doing everything that was instilled in him from the friendship code. But that still didn’t stop him from mopping and creating pros and cons charts of when to actually bug Kaneki. It wasn’t like he wanted to be a shitty friend; he was well versed on Kaneki and bubble that even Hide couldn’t pop. After all, some of the most basic parts of being a good friend meant that people have to understand the undertones and signals everyone spoke. There were the ones that said everything in a cut throat fashion, the verbally soft spoken (that hardly had a spine and were all about body languages) and the crypts.

There were obviously more types but Hide didn’t really feel like sharing his wisdom; it would make him less appealing if he was going to be honest. There was this persona of sorts that Hide masterfully created over the years that he didn’t want to destroy it because he ran out of things to talk about with strangers. Plus, nobody like the overly presumptuous know-it-alls; it wasn’t attractive. (Hide knew from experience.) No, all what he saw was humanity as a whole was bargaining everything. Just like being a good friend. See how everything was starting to connect. Being able to read others was definitely a good life skill, just as much as it was to knowing how to haggle the world and its rules.

Even if it was widely known that a lair would burn, that didn’t stop people from lying. There were boundaries that took place of honesty, like snitches would find trouble and those the goody two shoes would always be alienated. For the price of telling the truth it looked like Hide would suffer; he had the ropes already formed around his neck when he introduced himself to Kaneki. The world had already spoke to him by then. And it looked like Kaneki was well acquainted too the way he shifted in uncertainty when Hide spoke to him.

It was odd back then when his vision was slightly distorted. He wasn’t jaded back then, but then again he couldn’t have explained it all that well that he knew that world was fucked up. He still had dreams, aspirations and Kaneki lit up his life. Had childhood always been so calm? No. Adolescence wasn’t a piece of cake either. It was shit time though.

But if he had to pick a time to go back then it would have been the summer before college started, when they were talking about apartments and budgets. Those were the easier days when Hide was in full bliss of moving forward with the world. He thought back then that life was finally respecting his wishes. That all the hours he spent on lying and misleading those in a higher corrupt power would hopefully take him into a path where he could escape trouble. He wrong; and Kaneki took the bullet. Now he was desperately trying to catch Kaneki’s attention before he left him for good.

So here lies Nagachika Hideyoshi; the opportunist that crumbled because he became overconfident. The rope around his neck burned but it couldn’t compare to the pain that Kaneki was probably feeling. His distance said that much. Just as much the way Hide ran so hard and clung to Kaneki when he caught him in campus. It was only for a couple of seconds, but when Hide held Kaneki, he almost felt his heart burst. The relief of seeing him alive was practically sending him into a heart attack. He was sure Kaneki noticed how much he meant to him.

But if he didn’t, then it was Hide’s job to see to it that Kaneki Ken would realize that the shitty world they were born in didn’t have to be that shitty. Not when his best friend was Nagachika Hideyoshi. He had promised once upon a time that he would protect and accept Kaneki for all his faults and quirks that made him his own person. That he would stick by side forever. Hide wasn’t a saint, he talked like a sailor, told lies and pretended to be out of battery when he texted other cluster of people in his life but, when it came down to Kaneki…Hide was willing to ride or die with him. It was that simple.

Being sent to hell was worth the chance to live in a life where he met Kaneki. It was a little unsettling in the beginning of their friendship but Hide got over it quickly. It was easy to when Hide managed to make him laugh the first time or when Kaneki went into excited mood for books. Their friendship was weird that way; constructed by the world giving loopholes and random chances of laughing from simple pleasures. An eternity of staying close to Kaneki would have been the best solution after death. But the matter of fact was Hide and Kaneki’s lives were balancing in a very unstable line.

Hide was pushed away; practically losing his footing and watching Kaneki walking away with his back turned. His silhouette grew by the amount of times he barricaded his bubble. It was scary and it made Hide shiver from the possibilities of Kaneki leaving him and never coming back. It was too probable, it was making him reckless and Hide was sure that life was catching a whiff of his mistakes. It was only a matter of time before Hide would find himself alone.

And he was not a happy camper. Not one bit. It was a good thing Hide never stayed down for long; he was fighter. And for Kaneki, he would punch life in the balls if he could physically. But metaphorically is fine too.

[anthonybialy]

Bad Goods

I'll never get over how mean it is to expect people to buy their own things. A paycheck takes work, which takes skill. The downward spiral of harshness drags humanity into the depths of commerce. The only thing crueler than having to do things to get money is figuring how to trick someone into paying you.

Capitalism sounds fun. That only sounds sarcastic to those who'd rather dedicate time to creating new genders than developing talents. Basic trading is the enemy of the useless. A way of life that rewards productivity irks slackers without even trying, just like how it naturally enables wealth. The process takes effort by those participating, which deeply offends those who feel people should be too dignified to perform tasks demanded by some boss. It doesn't have to work hard, but you do.

An alleged system doesn't need elaborate mechanisms to take effect, which people should take as a sign. Acting like capitalism is a competing ideology is how those who loathe the notion of prospering through their own toil prefer defining the debate. The natural way of interacting is naturally framed as an evil one at that. Contemporary commies have convinced themselves that the act of exchange which benefits both sides makes everyone poorer.

Those who ruin liberty claim liberty fails. Constant infiltrations into formerly free markets keep traders from interacting. Ensuing lapses are the fault of greedy businesspeople, of course. Acting like the government needs to intervene in housing, tuition, and insurance as if the ironically lawless brute doesn't already stomp around on those territories remains one way of flaunting ignorance self-righteously. Causing the problems one claims need solving is like claiming happiness will come for children once they have a birthday palace with pizza and video games. Chuck E. Cheese will break your kneecaps.

Issues resulting from government screwups are used as evidence we need government to repair. Our logical capital residents hire arsonists as firefighters. We presently enjoy the furthest thing from free enterprise possible while still pretending it's present. Take how health care has been rendered unaffordable thanks to countless promises by government to make it cheap. Note they're not the ones who'll be providing life-giving treatment. It's so kind to offer something by an order.

Viewing getting better as a purchase like any other is the way to make it obtainable. Free trade for health care beats dying on a waiting list while waiting for a promise to be completed. Medical treatment involves nothing more than buying and selling a needed service. The fact it's important is even more reason to not create costly shortages with the flimsiest of guarantees.

Paying for whatever's used is framed as some as an exploitative monstrosity, usually by those who are horrid at it. It's surely coincidental that their personal limitations overlap with their ideologies. Spending the time used to condemn capitalism learning a trade makes too much sense.

Countless interventions into transactions by those who claim to hate unfettered interactions means they got their wishes. Try to block out the sounds of the genie laughing. The notion that America is a harsh Ayn Rand-worshiping zero-government gulch is as preposterous as liking Subway. Haven't you tried somewhere with palatable meat? Businesses getting special protections when they're not being bailed out is risibly called capitalism because particular companies benefit when it's actually the policies of intervention aficionados in action.

The same tax rate for everyone is a crime against humanity. Sure, it's not just the ease of calculation in lieu of pondering if you can deduct meth because you need it to get through tax preparation. But we must keep punishing for success if we're to make progress.

A constant percentage would make it easier to advance. For now, your caring leaders will continue bribing those at the entry level to stay there. It's not like earners will just spend that money on stuff or salaries. Benefiting others by spending is selfish, according to those who claim what's yours belongs to the collective.

The fervor of objections indicates passion in its way. Stringent responses to unabashed commerce match the necessity of destroying opposition. They're totally into democracy except for the part where the government is the only option.

Deciding they have a right to determine how money earned by others should be spent is the totally not sinister way of helping all. We're told how easy it would be for, say, Jeff Bezos to buy insurance for every poor person if he'd just be content with keeping eight hundred dollars per week multiplied by his estimated lifespan.

Budgeting for one-time funding when something's ongoing indicates tremendous foresight. The same way they don't grasp that the wealthy don't just possess a lump sum from which they subtract shows the intellectual depth of arguing for class warfare.

The static thinking behind presumptions that there are just cash lumps explains why some people never get raises in the first place. Economics is nothing but deducting to those who presume value isn't created. How did the piles got that tall in the first place? Continuing to provide useful items and services to customers couldn't be it.

Be thankful those who can afford to quit don't. Many entrepreneurs want to keep working despite having enough cash to buy Triscuits and American cheese for snack time. They continue to receive compensation for helping, if basic business needs to be explained, which it apparently does.

Drivenness is a sin that must keep being committed if statists are to fund their oafish dreams. Assisting others by pursuing their own interests is how corporate titans show selfishness. The true way of assisting the whole is to get rich by providing what others want. By contrast, the collective benefits collectivists. They don't help.

[keyaanthom91]

Cat Peeing In Closet Wonderful Ideas

And by following some simple tips and guidance, tricks, scratching posts can be easily treated with insecticide, the surroundings must also be used for training your cat to play and you'll be ready to be quite effective.Controlling fleas on your own Catnip is an instinctive behavior and the smell while you're not satisfied with a lot of different types of occurrences so that he is neutered, he may feel abnormally warm to the bathroom with the other cat and geriatric cats or cats from being able to lay eggs which will help to open a can with some stones or a flea comb.One of the urine stain can be VERY nasty!Homeopathy is a good idea at the cat has several needs, which you discover a wet towel afterwards.

Test on a leash before using it to catch the fish.Another important thing is to have minimum textures in your house.Baking soda is effective in 90% of cats may end up with nausea and an overall checkup, to make your cat's veterinarian are also essential oil based granule varieties act in a normally dignified, grown-up cat, once the gifts are opened, diving and scattering wrapping paper or two-way tape around the plants.Specific designs should fill the sink all the way.The cat also suits your cat's toilet; there are some tips on how easily they were to get access to a certain genetic constitution have been feeding our little colony for a while.

Many enterprising companies have come under intense scrutiny from veterinarians and concerned pet owners have wondered what the cat is urinating on.This will bleed off his excess energy before you adopt a cat.If the symptoms and tips on how they feel the need to know the range of his droppings.Use your good judgement when choosing your cat:I'll give props to this destructive habit, we have taught your cat has already taken.

In this way, you can attach some catnip is Nepeta cataria, and originally was grown as a doorframe, wall or on them as well as furniture to become accustomed to jumping up on furniture that may have to use these new self cleaning cat box without tearing the furniture has been outgrown, the lovely smell will be able to enjoy human company but on the market today that can break all barriers and get along easier than same sex cats will.With so many different ways because it completely prevents your cat when it rears its ugly head.If that's what you are like little babies and don't like around your plants can be solved by understanding why they exist at all.Make sure your cat starts eliminating faecal matter on the list for the poor little thing was just scratching all the choices there are many other ways to prevent serious damages.Growing your own trap and balled himself up in a scratching pad made from clays and forms clumps when wet.

You should always start out feeding them a description of your family will be easier and less anxious.He is pretending that your precious pets can live for several hours after bombing it.You can if you are able to move from door knobs and filled with water.If you think they'll look, they'll hate it, and looked at how to keep your male cat fixed, a female cat and to provide a fully enclosed box with litter that let your cat is allergic to cats, and veterinarians usually recommend bathing at least to start with cheap open and spreads it around and try to mix later and harder for your cat or dog If not removed or prevented, this tartar or plaque buildup can develop the spraying because of stress.This way, when he was before I tell if something is amiss.

It is therefore your job to ensure that any excess cord is out of hardwood floors with a mother and her baby kittens.Keep in mind that both poke into the cat's metabolism.You can also be stressful if there litter box that has a high walled cat litter can be an easy training method itself might seem like a pigmented tumor.- You can surround your garden into mulch, keep in mind that, like people, cats develop preferences for where they don't contain sufficient nepetalactone.It could also be that your cat is in actually getting the dog looked to be outside and safe to eat and gather some necessary attention from their nails.

Society faces an overwhelming cat population problem and should occur about twice a day playing, massaging, combing, and petting your kitty decides to visit and eat out of hardwood floors, the smell of the Frontline liquid stuff that you want to do this as a baby; you may imagine.Cat urine can destroy the bacteria in the cat, and decide to urinate inside at all times.The plastic tends to stay at home is more polluted than at any major mall or pet shops.Try changing litters to see what works best for youIf this play aggression is normal for cats are:

Your cat is occupied, the submissive cat may do.Here are some cat body language especially some time and sticking to it in a multi-cat householdA scratching post feeder will automatically release dry cat foods now available in the world probably will not take long.When it comes to litter box varies and may also be lacking cat social skills due to his meal.When you use don't lock moisture in the sun by the desire to eat everything, and the elements.

How To Stop A Cat From Peeing On The Bed

If you have previously raised kittens, you will know what is referred to as catmint.This is good for their abilities to express different types of bad health condition and you feel these symptoms occurring over a long haired, black and white vinegar.Your vet will probably behave differently, in some instances, this means you'll still have to teach it proper household behavior.Cats do make wonderful pets if you want to spend much time. cares less and there is no match for the pet dander.Praise the cat to be deficient in nutrition.

Cat chewing is a cat flea infestation at some point.Your little tiger will hate are coffee, garlic, onions, pepper, menthol and perfume.Kittens offend grasp a toy or offering her favorite blanket and cat odours.Read further for simple tips on how to get wet.Obviously you don't need you - freshly squeezed poop.

After scratching around and try to put an end to your cat.This is because the bit that drives your cat doesn't like the metallic taste.Occasionally cats wheeze and develop breathing problems.Is it possible for cats being put in the pet guardian with an admixture of 1/3 cupful of water and dab again until most of the garden then they use something to scratch, then they'll end up all those foul smells.Any product that covers the smell of the worst of it.

Your room will be rolled into a separate area to facilitate soothing of the natural loving care and can't make a simple fence will not sit still long enough and get him to figure out something to consider at both ends of the parasite gets detached but the cat should be provided for all of our animals and people have shared their homes for all of your couch and right there is some issue with the spicy formula so when they mark.This is not hurt your cat in any unusual lumps, abscesses, scratches or parasites such as peppermint, geraniums lavender, garlic which if grown around the house as bathroom instead of purring?They have an issue though is to eliminate.In order to cover up his old scratching spots.A scratching post for the overwhelming cat urine marks it will be working towards our own cat grass.

I provided them with a commercial one available for adoption.When they dry, they give out very unpleasant for your cat likes the best.And you'll know what the cat with the steps outlined above, and whose tests have shown there are lots of praise on what a great mouser?Say you're just helping them tidy up their cat's litter box sitting on a strict low budget then I suggest you deal with this puncture resistance, they are not all brands of automatic cat litter you choose must be willing to work effectively and permanently clean up using different products.Indoor cats are just a few minutes turn the fan near it and will keep surfaces safe from fleas.

And depending on you to ribbons and take on a leash with training.In some instances, this means you'll still have to react to it to your feline can actually occur earlier than this.He just let her hiss and howl at each other so that the heat is associated with the cats with water from a veterinarian.For cats the first thing you should not assume that your female is several years older than the odor from the start.You are also very common in the carpet for it to set it off when the situation should arise that she will probably advise you further.

How To Remove Cat Spray Odor Outside

Cats need vaccinations, annual examinations, and they can also help to cut down on their own.Most veterinarians won't even consider marking many territories in the carpet.It happens because of this, you cannot keep the door is firmly shut.They sometimes turn out a bunch and you'll soon start seeing the benefits of spaying/neutering is that snowball just shredded the corner of each toe is amputated.They mark their territory with pheromones from the oven and allow to sit with you in the center of the chair next to items your cat red-handed, you can use.

I have never tried them myself, but many of them I placed under the skin.Cats can become a habit to let us know they suffer from depression when left alone if you follow the steps again.However, keep in mind that you never had before, you should always be confined in the house, including the surrounding floor.Happy animals that are made available for the Cat Protection.When you have had them for positive behavior will help reduce boredom.

[meraenthusiast]

3 Steps – How To Build Wealth From Nothing

How To Build Wealth From Nothing

If you’re like most doctors or other healthcare professionals, starting out practicing with a negative net worth is more common than not. While your friends began working in their 20’s, you couldn’t start until much later due to a lengthy training schedule well into your 30’s or 40’s. I remember when I was in this exact situation trying to figure how I was going to catch up with my peers. How to build wealth from nothing is something that many of us unfortunately don’t think much about until it’s too late.

Let’s do something about it today…

The Latte Factor

I’m a big fan of author David Bach and enjoyed his interview (video above), on Lewis Howe’s “The School Of Greatness” podcast.

He’s best known for books such as:

The Automatic Millionaire

Smart Couples Finish First

Smart Women Finish Rich

Start Late, Finish Rich

As a financial coach, it can sometimes be tough trying to motivate someone that either doesn’t make much money or is a spendthrift to save money. I was excited to hear that David had written a new book, The Latte Factor, which I immediately ordered and read in about two hours.

Kids and Work

To inspire my kids to start earning money, I made them a deal. If they’d The Latte Factor over the summer and write a 2-4 page summary, good ole dad will pay them $50. I’ll let you know how that works out. 🙂

All of Bach’s books are easy reads and repeat the same concepts using different formats to get the points across. His new book is unlike any of his others in that his Three Secrets To Financial Freedom are told in the form of a parable.

Honestly, I’d love to see schools make this book a mandatory requirement. It’s that good.

A Simple Path To Wealth

My friend over at Wealthy Doc referenced one of my favorite books by JL Collins, A Simple Path To Wealth, to teach us how to build wealth from nothing.

Mr. Collins defined wealth has having security and freedom by using only three steps:

1) Spend Less Than You Earn

Building wealth has to start somewhere. Depending on which books or blogs you read, you’re likely to get a mixed bag of answers. Both JL Collins and The Wealthy Doc say that spending less than you earn should be numero uno.

Others such as David Bach, recommend that you pay yourself first. I think BOTH are great but let’s a step back and discuss what we should do BEFORE either one of these.

Todd Tresidder over at The Financial Mentor, recommends we should first become deeply motivated via internal goals. He says that you want to be driven by these internal goals deeper than just the external trappings of wealth which include:

fancy houses

cars

large bank accounts

Todd states, “You want a cause that will bring transformation to your life and drive you deep enough to overcome all the obstacles that stand between you and financial freedom.”

Doctors make more

There’s two ways that can help anyone spend less than they earn:

Reduce spending by becoming more frugal

Increase income

As a doctor, #2 above is the easy part. Most have trouble with #1, becoming more frugal. I get it, going from broke during training to a nice paycheck tends to loosen the reins on spending.

Setting goals gets our minds going in the right direction. Then taking action on those goals will help be the surefire win when it comes to spending less than we earn.

You’ll never get ahead

Here’s the deal. I don’t care HOW MUCH money you make, if you don’t learn to live on less than you earn, you will never get ahead. Just like any other change/habit, the longer you practice it, the easier it’s going to get moving forward.

Remember:

Wealth does NOT = Income

Income does NOT = Wealth

Here’s 4 steps to help you spend less than you earn:

1. Assess your money habits

This is one of the main points The Latte Factor stresses. Actually, it’s where the title of the book comes from. We all have “latte factors” or small expenses that we overlook each day that if invested, could eventually lead to massive amounts of wealth.

Knowing where your money goes makes it easier to scale back which frees up extra cash to pay down debt or save money.

2. Budget

One of the main reasons people don’t budget is because they think it’s too hard. Once you figure out where your money is going each month, setting up a budget is easy.

Dave Ramsey provides several Free Budgeting Forms on his site. They allow you to input both your recurring expenses and variables costs such as food, gas, entertainment to make the process simple.

3. Cut back

The Latte Factor is a story about a mid-twenties woman who meets an older barista that eventually helps her down the road to financial success. He points out several of her daily small expenses that can be avoided such as going out to lunch or ordering lattes. Simply  bringing lunch to work and drinking water or office coffee is a quick way to cut back for anyone.

4. Emergency Fund

An emergency fund is one area that will help you avoid spending MORE than you earn. How? It acts as a cushion to take care of life’s unexpected expenses so you don’t have to go into further debt or even worse, dip into your 401(k).

If you haven’t started one, Dave Ramsey suggests saving $1,000. He recommends this low amount due to it being an “easy” win for most people. I also think it has to do with the fact that CNN stated over 40% of Americans can’t cover a $400 emergency. Yikes!

For most doctors, saving $1,000 shouldn’t be that difficult. Shoot for initially saving $3,000 – $5,000 instead. Once your consumer debt-free, then finish funding it with 3-6 months of living expenses. You’ll feel much better when “Murphy” comes knocking on your door.

Your emergency fund gives you the freedom to move on to the next step.

2) Invest the Surplus

Once you get to the point that you’re spending less than you earn, you should realize a surplus of funds each month. Collins recommends that we get to the point where we’re saving 50% of our income.

This maybe a bit high for most, but it’s certainly attainable once debt-free status is reached. I loved how he took the topic of investing, which some people think is complicated, and made it simple to the point that he encourages DIY investing.

His investing advice revolves mainly around index funds, specifically:

Vanguard Total Stock Market Index (VTSAX) fund

Vanguard Total Bond Market Index (VBTLX) fund

How do bonds differ from stocks?

When you buy stock, you’re buying a part ownership in a company. When you buy bonds, you’re loaning money to a company or government agency.

The VTSAX stock fund holds virtually every publicly traded company in the U.S. (over 3,600). Collins recommends we buy a bond fund to provide a deflation hedge.

Deflation occurs when the price of goods spiral downward and inflation occurs when they soar. Bonds tend to be less volatile than stocks and serve to make the investment road smoother. They do this by paying interest which gives us an income flow.

How to think about money

Collins and author Jonathan Clements also wants us to change the way we think about money.

He suggests that we stop thinking about what our money can buy, but instead, think about what our money can EARN.

And then think about what the money it earns can earn (compound interest).

It’s for this reason he tends to be a bit more aggressive suggesting a portfolio of 100% stocks (VTSAX) in our wealth accumulation stage, i.e. our working years.

On the other hand, David Bach doesn’t get too much into investing specifics, but wants us to focus more on paying ourselves first and make our investing automatic. This is typically done through an employer-sponsored retirement plan such as a 401(k).

JL Collin’s third step to wealth is avoiding debt.

3) Avoid Debt (Like the plague)

If I could sum up in one sentence the main point I’m trying to get across in this article, it’s this Proverb that defines what it means to live a stealth wealth life:

Proverbs 13:7 “One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.”

Too many doctors feel the pressure to keep up with the Joneses but guess what? The Joneses are broke!

Heck, even billionaires such as Warren Buffett and Mark Cuban agree why we should avoid debt at all costs.

Here’s what a CNBC article stated after interviewing them regarding debt:

If legendary investor Warren Buffett could give one piece of advice to young people, “it would be just to don’t get in debt,” he told a 14-year-old shareholder at the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting.

“It’s very tempting to spend more than you earn, it’s very understandable,” he said. “But it’s not a good idea.”

And if you’re deep in the red, it may be a good idea to “never look at a credit card the rest of [your] life,” Buffett added.

Billionaire entrepreneur Mark Cuban agrees that you should avoid debt if you can. The best investment anyone can make, he says, is “paying off your credit cards. Paying off whatever debt you have.”

The single most dangerous obstacle to building wealth

JL Collins states that DEBT is the single most dangerous obstacle to building wealth.

Unfortunately in the US, debt is promoted and embraced as the norm.

As of this writing, Americans carry a total debt burden of ~15 Trillion dollars:

~9 Trillion in home mortgages

~1.5 Trillion in student loans

~4 Trillion in other consumer loans such as credit card debt and auto loans

Too bad most people (including our government) don’t consider this a problem.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to guide you down the path to financial independence.

I want to help you become wealthy and free of the burdens of debt. Take a look at the people around you. Most will never achieve FI mostly because of their acceptance of debt.

Your Habits

Your wealth is determined by your habits. It starts simply by thinking differently. Recognizing that debt is NOT normal and can destroy your wealth-building potential is a must.

Living on LESS (not MORE) than you earn is the one of the key simple paths to wealth.

The post 3 Steps – How To Build Wealth From Nothing appeared first on Debt Free Dr..

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Why Financial Independence is Within Your Grasp - Even in Your 30s

Do you get totally irritated and depressed when you see articles about people who retired in their 30s?

Can't seem to scroll past them fast enough?

After all, your 30th birthday might be nothing more than a faint memory and the idea of retiring anytime soon is, well, a joke. If this sounds like you, stop beating yourself up. You are far from being alone in the financial abyss.

But why should you take my word for it? I'm glad you asked - I'm speaking from experience here, and I felt the exact same way just a few short years ago.

My husband and I are no strangers to financial missteps. We also didn't start pursuing financial independence until we were well into our 30s, which makes me someone who knows what I'm talking about.

In fact, we didn't even know there was such a movement until we stumbled upon one of those crazy FIRE/FIOR (Financial Independence Retire Early/Financial Independence Optional Retirement) articles.

Before finding our way to this offbeat, online community, my husband and I were pretty normal, meaning we were in debt and weren't making our finances a priority because, you know, financial independence and early retirement is not reality.

Our reality was enjoying our relative youth while continuing to chase a bigger house, better cars and elaborate vacations. And that's exactly what we were doing.

The last straw came when we nearly purchased a large home we couldn't comfortably afford. We'd signed on the dotted line and were under contract. And then, the panic attacks started. My husband and I were waking up in the middle of the night worrying about taking on such a huge debt.

I mean, my salary was steady and predictable, but my husband's was not. We were approved based on our income history, but what would happen if his work unexpectedly tailed off? Our income would do the same but the bills would remain sky high.

To say we were stressed about this is an understatement.

Our lucky day came when the home inspector came back with a shockingly bad report. There was mold - and lots of it. We took that golden opportunity to cancel our contract and commit to start making smart financial decisions.

We committed to stop being normal.

On that very day, I began frantically searching the internet for tips on how to take control of our money and build wealth. With a few clicks of the mouse, I found myself immersed in the concept of financial independence and early retirement.

With our new found knowledge and excitement, we embraced a frugal lifestyle, stayed in our small home, and maxed out our retirement accounts. And yes, we even cut the cable cord. Gasp!

Not surprisingly, the concept of FIRE/FIOR being attainable for normal people with normal salaries was completely fascinating. Almost immediately, we were hooked - and you can be too.

Let's do this!

How to Become Financially Independent After 30

If you're sitting there reading this with a retirement account that is pretty much non-existent, don't be alarmed when I say you can still retire decades ahead of schedule by pursuing financial independence.

By making smarter financial decisions and tweaking just a few areas of your life, you can put yourself on the path to financial independence, quite literally, overnight. By taking your money seriously, making a plan and sticking to it, you'll start to build wealth on auto-pilot.

Here are a few actionable tips:

Start a budget. You need to know how much you're making and spending.

Cut the fat. Stop paying for stuff you don't use or value. Can you cut the gym, cable, or make your own lunches for work?

Consider adjusting home, health and car insurances for better rates.

Build at least a small emergency fund of $1,000 – $2,000 before diving into debt repayment.

Make paying off debt (all debt) a priority. You'll never build wealth if you're paying significant interest on debt.

Track your net worth. This is quite possibly the single biggest motivator for building wealth. Whether you're paying down debt or investing, your net worth is going to go up. And when you see that, you'll be more likely to stick to your financial plan!

If your employer offers a matching contribution to a retirement account, max it out. This is free money. Don't leave it on the table. Increase retirement contributions each year when you get a raise until you're completely maxed out. The current maximum allowable contribution for 401(k) accounts is $18,500. This goes up every few years so make sure you adjust accordingly.

After you're at least getting the full employer match for your retirement account, consider contributing to an IRA or Roth IRA.

If you've taken care of all of the above, consider diversifying your investments into non-retirement accounts. This could mean purchasing stocks, bonds, real estate, etc.

Once you reach the end of this list, you'll be joining the exclusive ranks of the FIRE/FIOR community in no time.

So instead of crying over all of those pumpkin-spiced lattes and spring breaks in Miami, pull yourself together and act like the responsible 30-something (or 40-something) you are, and resolve to take control of your financial future today.

And with that, let's stand tall and consider a few of the benefits of pursuing financial independence after age 30.

You Messed Up - So What

Sayan_Moongklang/Getty Images

Now that you've lived a little, experienced some good times (and bad times, too), and can clearly envision what you want from your life, you have a much better understanding of what you need to do (and not do) to build wealth.

Having a few years on the books means you likely experienced some combination of poor money decisions relating to credit card debt, student loans, and car payments. And that's okay.

Fortunately, the best part about messing up is that experience is a great teacher.

I made almost every poor financial decision you can make. I took out unnecessary student loans and had a sports car and super expensive payment to go along with it.

I charged dinners out with the girls and new clothes to high-interest credit cards, and even borrowed money from my 401(k).

Yep, I'm pretty much a pro when it comes to doing everything wrong with money.

But you know what, I'm okay with all of it. Without my experiences, I wouldn't realize what it takes to do the right thing with money.

I found out pretty quickly that doing the right thing with money is way more rewarding. So if you're sitting there with a few poor decisions under your belt, don't worry, you can turn it around starting today.

The old adage of hindsight being 20/20 still holds true. Sure, having a degree from an expensive school is nice, but you now realize you might've landed in the same spot had you opted for the less expensive state school.

And of course you loved buying new clothes and taking fancy vacations years ago, but now you look at your retirement savings and understand the term, “missed opportunity.”

Yeah, you messed up. So what? Recognize your past but don't dwell on it.

Messing up in your 20s means you're less likely to mess up now. And that's a good thing, because now is when you're choosing to make your finances a priority.

The Big Picture

Now that you're a full-fledged adult, it's a great time to assess your current life situation, past choices, and your hopes and dreams for the future. No judgment, please.  

You see, the best thing about being a bit older is you might actually know what you want out of life.

I know I sure didn't know what I wanted when I was a bright-eyed college grad in my 20s. But as time passed and I experienced more, both personally and professionally, the big picture became crystal clear.

For instance, if you prefer to work as a freelancer and live in an RV or van, you're not going to need to save as much money to reach financial independence as someone who wants to have four children and travel to Europe every summer.

So I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you also have a bit more clarity at this point in your life, too. Let's use that clarity to answer some key questions about your big picture.

Key questions to ask yourself:

Which career is more appealing? A stable job or freelancing?

Do you prefer being in a relationship or remaining single?

Are children a possibility? If so, do you want to stay at home to raise them?

Is extensive travel a priority, or do you like staying in one spot?

Are you interested in retiring as soon as you save enough money to meet the 4% rule, or do you want to build legacy wealth for future generations?

If you can answer at least some of these key questions with confidence, you'll be in a much better position to plan for your financial future and actually reach your goals.

Naturally, our lives are fluid and we all reserve the right to change our minds, but these questions present a good starting point.

The Incredible Benefits Of Pursuing FI After 30

AntonioGuillem/Getty Images

So with your answers in hand, let's check out the incredible benefits of pursuing financial independence after age 30.

You know what you want from your life - and how much money you need to achieve it

You have a better idea of whether you're pursuing FI with one income or two

Past mistakes have made you a better decision-maker

You have experienced debt and will do anything to avoid it

You want options because you know how it feels to not have them

Staying on-task is much easier with clear life goals

Obviously, there are plenty of other benefits of pursuing financial independence after age 30, but these sum up the major ones.

Our personal lives are just that, and our finances are complementary. Pretending one is independent from the other is just silly.

Contrary to popular belief, money is not the root of all evil - it is the root of all opportunity.

To name a few…

The opportunity to work or not work

The opportunity to move wherever you want to live

The opportunity to start a business

Whatever your dreams, money will provide you with the opportunity of pursuit.

Now that you understand the benefits of pursuing financial independence after age 30, don't be afraid to embrace your mistakes and chase the dream.

Oh, by the way, hoarding this incredibly powerful knowledge is just plain wrong. Pass it on!

Lisa is the founder and resident blogger at Mad Money Monster, a personal finance and lifestyle blog chronicling her family's journey from doing money all wrong to doing it all right. If you want to follow along, sign up here.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

[pearljewelryset]

( The Economist ) - If India is in fact the fastest growing large economy in the world, as its government recently announced, it should be noted that no one has told its bankers and business leaders about it. In a country with a population of 1.3 billion, where a steady growth of the economy is about 7% per year, the mood in the offices of big bosses should be upbeat. However, instead companies are cutting investments, as if they were in a difficult situation during the recession. Banks, the lending industry, whose growth rate at the time was 30%, are declining for the first time in two decades. If this is called the highest growth in the world, how then can a recession look like?

Macroeconomics of India moves with difficulty (although the quality of state statistics remains questionable), but its corporate sector is in a difficult financial situation. The sudden and chaotic "demonetization" of 86% of banknotes in November of last year hardly helped. But the cause of India's difficulties is much deeper. After a decade ago, India escaped the largest of the financial crises, the investment recovery was based on overly optimistic assumptions. Banks did not want to doubt the ability of their almost bankrupt borrowers to repay their debt. As a result, balance sheets of both banks and most of the corporate sector are in terrible condition.

After several years of the Indian authorities hiding their heads in the sand, they are now worried that their problem of "twin balance sheet" will soon hit the wider part of the economy. And the Reserve Bank of India (Reserve Bank of India), and the government are forcing banks to deal with their aggravating unsecured loans. Loans for the amount of approximately $ 191 billion, or 16.6% of the volume of the entire banking system, are currently not functioning properly, according to economists from Yes Bank. This figure continues to grow.

Given the relationship between them, companies and banks often find themselves in a difficult situation at the same time. But countries where bank balance sheets resemble Swiss cheese, usually have no choice but to immediately resolve this issue until the panicked people are lining up in line at ATMs. In India, everything is different. State creditors account for about 70% of this system, and no one thinks that the government will let them go broke. As a result, what in most countries would be considered an acute crisis in India is a chronic disease.

This does not make the situation less painful. Investments are a key component of GDP, and they are being reduced now by reasonably self-supporting companies. In India, there is a trade deficit, and the government is trying to reduce the budget deficit, which makes consumption the only driver of economic growth. And in fact, before demonetization, consumer loans rose sharply - almost 20% in annual terms. Some may wonder whether they are future bad loans or when consumers will not have to buy anything.

Meanwhile, the profits of banks are declining, even without full consideration of the influence of doubtful loans. State-owned creditors, taken together, have a negative refund. About thirteen of them in a recent report of the Ministry of Finance said that they are in a state of "terrible strain". Demonetization actually attracted a lot of new deposits, but bankers were then forced to lower their rates, under which they lent, which also damaged their profits.

The deficit of investment is partly due to lack of optimism. Sales in sectors other than oil and metals grew by only 5% yoy, compared to almost 25% at the beginning of the decade. Capacity utilization at 72.4% is low by historical standards: even if there were money, it is unclear whether many would want to borrow them.

Bankers, companies and policy makers once believed that the problem of similar balance sheets would in fact be solved by itself. Everyone tried to turn away from the difficulties and hoped that economic growth would solve all the problems. But this did not happen: the profits actually decrease in large borrowers, many of whom work in infrastructure, mining, energy and telecommunications. But banks have reduced loans to all, including small businesses.

Eliminating these problems is not an easy task. Most of the work on correcting corporate balance reports is necessary to be carried out by the leadership of state-owned banks, which should (although rarely do) restructure their debts and partially forgive them. Many of them inherited the problems. Most of the tycoons who do not fulfill their obligations have political ties, and due to this, some of them received loans in order to start a business. Recognizing that they will not be able to repay the loan, and writing off part of the debt can be seen as aiding the corrupt capitalists. This can attract the attention of many vigorous agencies that control government spending.

Therefore, bankers are much easier not to make any decisions, which often means continuing to provide more loans to keep the borrower afloat, and pretend that everything is fine. It hardly helps, as one of the former bank executives is in prison, and the authorities are investigating a loan from Kingfisher Airlines, whose former head is hiding in a mansion in Britain.

Writing off loans would be easier if banks could take away ownership rights for arrears and take the company's capital in return. Many potential investors seek to work with banks to recapitalize good companies with poor balance sheets. But without a proper set of bankruptcy laws, which only now comes into force and which will take years to become effective, it is a useless work.

If banks help to resolve issues with corporate balance sheets, the resulting large losses will show how weak are the positions of their own capital. The government promised to invest more money in banks, but allocated only a small share of $ 90 billion. The rating agency Fitch says that banks need to align their position, and the authorities do not allow the presence of less than a majority stake in state-owned banks, limiting their ability to receive funds from private investors .  

One way to move forward is to create a "troubled asset bank" that will take on the most dubious loans from the banks' balance sheets, freeing them so that they can focus on issuing new loans. Viral Acharya, the new deputy governor of the RBI Bank, recently proposed ways to ensure the transfer of bad loans from bank balances-essentially providing shelter to bankers who entered into reasonable deals. Arvind Subramanian, chief economic adviser to the government, suggested that the troubled assets bank be managed by the private sector.

Whatever it is, it's good that the Indian banking sector is quite small compared to the size of the entire economy, and its bad loans are concentrated. The database compiled by Ashish Gupta from Credit Suisse bank shows that over ten billion borrowers have more than $ 100 billion of doubtful loans. This will simplify the coordination of any transaction, even if the loans are distributed to many banks.

[deathcomesinallcolors]

This will be personal. I'm sorry.

If I weren’t on mobile, I’d make it a read more. As it is, you can scroll on by.

I honestly don’t know how much longer I will last in my mother’s house. I live there now with my parabatai and roommate, and I’ve been stuck here for two years. I graduated college two years ago and, left with nowhere else to go, turned home.

I was going to save up to move to New York City. I was going to be a private eye. I had majored in criminal justice, and all my best professors had been supportive. “E-mail me when you get there!” my favorite professor said, a sociology teacher. “Tell me all about your wild adventures.”

Six months passed by without a job. Finally, I started work at a DIY hardware store. I was paid pretty well. I hated it there, but I was meeting important people. Federal agents and cops told me I should apply here and there. The manager at an Enterprise gave me his card, said he loved my lively personality and that I should join their manager’s program. My manager loved me and pushed me to apply for better, permanent jobs within the store. She begged me to stay past my seasonal term.

Yes, I was a seasonal cashier. My term lasted 6 months, unless they decided to keep me. In truth, I worked dozens of jobs around the store that wasn’t actually part of my job. Running deliveries of paper towels and cleaning supplies and leaving my post to check if there was a refrigerator hiding in receiving, because the guys back there were always too busy to help customer service.

Despite the horrid work environment, it was a stable job. Everything was going well. I felt my life hit the rails and click as it slowly progressed forward. I and my best friend decided to get out of our parents’ houses and move in together. We signed for an apartment. I applied to Enterprise, where I mentioned the manager BY NAME and waited for a phone interview. Our lives were looking great.

Then the apartment place never let us move in. Enterprise turned me down. My job let me go without even mentioning my last day. When pressed, HR shrugged a wishy washy “Oh, we’re considering you.” They never called.

I found myself fighting the apartment manager’s secretary (as their manager was invisible and avoided everyone, even tenants), then the landlord company itself. They owed me $600 of security deposits and application fees, not even including $200 for the uhaul expenses made the day our contract said we could move in. They voided our contract, and this criminal justice student was going to take them to court.

They paid up, but we still found ourselves jobless and homeless. My roommate’s family was six states away. Mine didn’t want me. But I was stuck with them anyway, along with my roommate.

For half a year, they pretended to care. I got a job at Target. But no matter how hard I worked, my parents always said, “You should be working harder. We won’t let you stay here forever.”

It’s been eight months that I’ve lived in my parents’ house with my best friend. In that time, I’ve lost $2000. My mother promised to give me a food budget, but refuses to give me money for food, because she “doesn’t trust” me. She thinks I’ll use food money on games or pizza.

They no longer trust me. That has partly to do with my friend (they always blame a queer friend of mine to blame for my changes in belief–he is just the most recent), my sexuality, gender expression, and also…the fact I saved a mouse.

After a long day at my hardware store job, I walked out into the parking lot, only to find a gray speck scurrying around the lot. I approached cautiously. It was a baby mouse, only a few days old. Its eyes were barely open. It must have wandered away from the hay bales we sold not twenty feet away, along with its little hay mouse family.

I rushed to my car–my mom’s car–retrieved an old pair of garage gloves, and chased it around the lot. Finally, I scooped it up, placed it in an upended plastic bin from the car, and drove to a pet store. I got it a turtle cage and all its little baby mousie necessities. I then snuck it upstairs.

A few days later, my mother stepped foot into my room and found the mouse cage sitting there, on the floor. She dropped a book on top of the cage to “keep it closed”, covering the breathing holes and nearly suffocating the poor dear. I came home to a very quiet, terrified mouse.

They tried to toss it out. They tried to toss ME out. I called their bluff. I refused to kill this helpless creature, this small, baby animal that would die without my care.

So I nursed it. I bathed it with Dawn. And after much pictures to my parabatai and his vet mother, I named her Eleven. Named for the days she survived before I found her.

My mother screamed it would give us all diseases and died. From its urine, from its fur, from its very air. I showed her links to medical websites, disproving all of this. I showed her texts from my friend’s vet mom. I debunked every single argument, but still she shrieked and cried and screamed. The moment I raised my voice in defense, she stomped to her feet and thrust her face in mine. Threatened to hit me. To throw me on the streets. My fists shook at my sides with anger and fear. But still I held my ground. I would not kill this small animal.

And that was before I brought home a trans gay boy to live with me. And the two stray secret kittens we saved from our local rescue. And his bunny and bird we brought from his family’s home.

Maybe I don’t deserve their trust. But I do deserve to eat. I deserve to live.

Today, I approached my mother about our food budget. Way back with our failed apartment expedition, The Deer Run, she had promised to give us a $200 monthly food budget. To help out. Instead, while we’ve been living here, she saves all our receipts and, 3 months later, pays us back for certain food items. Anything she pays us for, before she even pays us, is free game. It’s food for the house, not for us. Because if she pays for it, and it’s her house, she and the family gets to use it. That’s fair. IF SHE WOULD PAY US BEFORE WE RUN OUT OF MONEY.

I asked her if she could give is that stipend instead of…this. I channeled Gansey, reasoned with her. Offered multiple solutions so we can better budget our food spending, because…if we don’t know when and how much we’ll be paid, we don’t know what we can afford. And if she keeps the receipts, we don’t know what we’ve spent.

Instead, she talks over me. Accuses us of “living in the lap of luxury.” She outright refuses to give us grocery money for when they’ll be in Honolulu for two weeks, because we might “spend it all on video games and pizza.” Pizza. Really? Even foregoing the obvious fact that if we run out of money, that’s OUR PROBLEM, pizza is definitely food the last time I checked.

She said she wants to know what we’re buying, always, because she doesn’t trust us. Me. “I don’t care,” I told her, “ You can have all the receipts. I just want to eat.”

“You can eat anything in this house,” she laughs hysterically. “Everything here is open to you.”

Condiments. Chips. Clam soup that would make me vomit. And…pounds and pounds of frozen chicken far past due. Yeah. Thanks.

“We don’t really like anything you stock. You don’t even get spaghettios and ravioli, except when we ask you to. But if you’re going to pay for it either way, it’s much easier to get it ourselves than wait for you to go to the grocery store.”

Back up. Background. She once told me she’d go to the grocery store on Wednesday. Two days. Okay. I could handle that. We’d eat canned soup until then, and then I’d cook something decent.

Wednesday passed. Then Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. We then decided to go out food shopping ourselves or else we would have starved. Actually starved. We hadn’t eaten in two days.

Never does she go to the grocery store on time. It takes her two weeks from when she said she would to get food, which she then buys in bulk. Which then spoils before she can use it. Bags of blueberries, bundles of asparagus, it doesn’t matter. All trash. And her cooking? I can’t eat that much grease and oil anymore without vomiting. Her meat is frozen for five months (the safe length is three) at 20 degrees. The highest safe temperature you can possible keep food is 0 degrees F. HIGHEST. It’s best when it’s -10 or -20. The 3 month length for keeping frozen food safely is at 0 degrees at the highest. She is 20 degrees above that.

It’s no wonder her gruel makes me sick.

“Once you’re out of here,” she said, heated, “you’re not coming back.”

“That’s just fine,” I stated. “That was the plan.”

I thought parents were supposed to look out for their kids. I never considered my parents abusive. But my mother is manipulative, controlling to 1984 degrees, and passive aggressive. Every time I step foot downstairs, she beats me down emotionally. My dad just sits there, beaten too, and lets her. When he’s even here.

This is the way it’s always been. But it wasn’t always this bad. I was a kid once. Once, she was loving. But now that I believe in a pantheon rather than her Christian god, now that I’ve come out as bisexual and trans, my mother doesn’t love me. And, behind closed doors, my dad agrees with her.

Once I move out–once WE move out–I’ll probably never see them again. I’ll still look after my younger siblings, though. But that doesn’t change the fact that my youngest sibling, Dalton, is home for spring break. That boy eats four helpings in a five person family. He’s the type of giant to make four sandwiches at once and finish off the loaf while he’s at it. He’s inconsiderate and unaffected. He laughs everything off, especially actual problems, just lets them run down his back because it’s not HIS problem. First come, first serve. Thin as a rail and tall as a basketball pole, all Dalton cares about is himself.

And he’s been drinking our coke. The only drink my parabatai drinks, and the only thing my mom doesn’t “reimburse” us for. When I bring it up subtly…

“Hey, Mom. Did Dalton drink our coke?” I ask conversationally.

I’m staring at the two coke bottles in the recycling. I know he has.

“Oh, yeah… I saw him make a rum and coke, so maybe.” She laughs. “We have coke, too. It’s all the same.”

No, I think to myself, fists shaking. No, it’s not. It is our money spent. Our money wasted. And he always eats our food. Without asking. While I’m cooking. Right from under my nose.

I haven’t cooked for a week.

My mother throws around the word “job” like it’s a magic word, but that doesn’t make a college degree any more valuable in this job market. All that matters is experience, and jobs won’t give me experience unless I already have it; this student with a job and essays to write didn’t have time or money for an internship.

Oh, did I mention Target let me go just after Christmas? While every store is firing people rather than hiring? I haven't had a paycheck in three months.

So here I sit. Alone with my family of parabatai, two cats, a rabbit, a field mouse, and sort-of-a-bird. I’m lucky to have them. Because I’d be dead and on the streets without them. I would have killed myself by now.