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randombtsprincessa · 5 years ago

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Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Jung Hoseok x Kim Seokjin

Words: 4.1k

Genre/Rating: Smut/fluff (NC - 17)

Prompt: 2seok with bad boy Jin (think tattoos, motorbikes, intimidating af but rescues kittens type) and model student shy and sweet Hoseok.

Warning: Clubbing, social drinking, mentions of drunken sex, tattoed blond Jin, flirting, LGBTQ+ fic, MxM fic, bad father, bad childhood mentions, volunteering work, kissing, blowjob in a garage, unprotected oral (male receiving) [be safe folks].

A/N: The following work is a part of @ficswithluv ‘s amazing project Change With Luv. It was commissioned by the lovely Ducky ( @diedinwarofhormones ) Thank you for the commission and let’s hope the donation helps bring about some really needed reforms! It is my very first mxm fic so please be a little lenient in judgement and I kept the smut not very explicit just in case (also because I exceeded the word limit shhh) so yeah. I hope you enjoy! Please do check out the project to help bring some change to the world and art to the world!

Now, do welcome the gif that brought together the last scene of the fic!

In life, there are three sets of people who go hand in hand.

There are the people who are completely alike, do everything together, share hobbies and end up being the ‘goals’ that are usually portrayed on every hyped up couples instagram.

There are people who seem to just mesh well, go about in their personal bubbles as things either go well or not.

And then…there are the people who are nothing alike. They are poles apart, one league away from each other.

Yet, they are brought closer and closer to each other and gel together in a manner that astounds the people surrounding them.

Or so Jung Hoseok had read somewhere; in a book, maybe in his adolescence, in those past teen years that seem like a dream.

He was grown up now, in college and while he had kept on the rosy tint in his cheeks, he had shed off most of his earlier romantic notions.

After all, college was a step forward towards the future he craved desperately. And he worked hard for it, to graduate and then carry on further into a blissful, stress free life.

So, when he came in touch with the circle in which Kim Seokjin moved, well…

All those ideals and notions came back like a sucker punch.

To be very honest, a club scene where there was too much light but nothing could be seen, where a bass thumped that irritatingly made you feel like you had a second heartbeat, too many sweaty bodies that merged, collided to a rambling beat and alcohol that cost half a days’ worth income – even on a campus ground, was not to Hoseok’s taste.

However, his best friend Namjoon had dragged him out of his room this time, screaming, wailing, and crawling – for once to pry Hoseok away from those chemistry books that still had equations pounding in his cranium.

Many minutes after arriving at the party, Namjoon had disappeared.

Hoseok had no idea where; if there was someone who was more shy, nerdy or awkward than him…it was Kim Namjoon.

He hoped he was getting laid somewhere, that way he’d be much less annoyed when Hoseok inevitably left to go home.

He turned his torso around to the crowd, and although he could see absolutely nothing clearly, he tried, he really did.

He reached up, straightened onto the bar stool so he could look over the multiple heads. Most of the flashing lights glinted against his glasses, blinding him and he sighed. Slumping back, he admitted defeat, looking along the length of the bar.

Maybe he should order another drink?

It wasn’t midnight just yet. He could make it till 12 and then slip away. After all, if Namjoon was around and…not otherwise occupied, he would come over so they could both go back to the dorm.

They both had early and lengthy classes for god’s sake.

As he stretched out a hand, to attract the bartender’s attention, he saw him.

The angle the man sat at made it impossible for him to get a clear look at his face. However, it was easy to discern the hunch of his shoulders, too wide, clad in a smooth leather jacket that exploded rainbows whenever a streak of light bounced off of the man.

Deep blond hair ruffled on top of the head and he could barely make out the hints of a neck tattoo.

The bartender soon came over to take his order and after refilling the drink, Hoseok decided that he could stay a bit more, just to see what the stranger looked like maybe.

“Buddy, take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Hoseok started, the rim of the glass jolting against his teeth at the move as the man turned his head to look at him head on, one dark eyebrow quirked.

Suffice it to say, the man was breathtaking.

The soft blond hair accentuated the poufy lips of the man, glistening wet from the alcohol. The leather jacket showed off a swimmer’s body, a silver clasp at his thin waist.

Hoseok was tempted to think that this man put his last boyfriend to shame.

“I’m sorry; I must’ve just stared at you. I was zoning out.” Hoseok excused himself.

“Don’t worry about it.” The man grinned, leaning forward so he would be audible. “You here with someone?”

“My roommate…he’s disappeared.”

The stranger nodded, taking a swig from his glass. “Yeah, that happens around here. If you wanna zone out a bit more, feel free but only cause you’re cute.”

Hoseok’s mouth fell open at the flirting, gaping like a fish as the man grinned yet again, this time feral.

“I…I wasn’t…”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it, pretty boy.”

The man was taking the final gulp, placing the glass next to Hoseok, along with a couple bills under the glass. “Buy yourself a drink from me, would you?”

Hoseok could only stare at the glass and money, still shocked at the bold advance of a complete stranger.

“Oh and hey pretty boy,”

Hoseok turned to look at the exiting male.

“Next time, I’m gonna start charging.”

He turned after that, not hindered by any of the swirling bodies in his path, leaving Hoseok to wonder if maybe he should’ve gotten the name of the man, or at least given his own.

“You’re, like, not even listening to me.” Namjoon snapped Hoseok’s attention towards himself, a pen tapping insistently against his notebook.

“Yes I am,” Hoseok immediately defended but it was too late.

Namjoon had already shoved the study materials that were strewn across the table to one side, both arms coming up to cradle his head. “Go on, purge.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, I swear.” Hoseok could hear the defensiveness in his own voice and while it was partly true, he knew he would have to cave in the face of his best friend.

“Fine…I met this guy at the club party a couple nights ago.”

Namjoon stared.

“The one you left me alone at.”

That seemed to jog his memory, causing a delicate sheen of plum to spread along his cheeks. “I said I was sorry, I mean...I saw Taehyung and he looked like –,”

“A dream, yes, I got that.” Hoseok stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the slightly…enormous crush that Namjoon harbored towards the popular junior.

“You didn’t tell me about this guy though,” Namjoon continued.

What was there to tell? Yes, he’d conversed briefly with an absolute stranger for not more than five minutes. Yes, he had never felt this wildly attracted to anyone before. At least, not so much that warranted mooning over him for more than a day. He also knew that there was a good chance that he would never run into him again.

He didn’t even know his name. There was nothing tying the both of them.

Unless he wanted to end up like Namjoon, in a puppy love with a guy he was too scared to talk to, he’d have to move on.

After all; Hoseok thought back to the sleek black lines that ran along the man’s skin, the tight leather that clung to him, smelling of liquor that was alluring in its own right; he was someone Hoseok would not usually find himself associated with.

He was probably a patented bad boy, and Hoseok well…he was model student.

“You just flaked on me again, bro.” Namjoon poked his arm.

“Sorry, so, you didn’t get laid that night then? Why didn’t you come find me?”

“I kind of did; but I don’t know if you can call it that. The chick and I both were pretty smashed and all I could think about was Taehyung’s --,”

“No thanks, I don’t need that imagery in my head.” Hoseok interrupted with a sharp flutter of his hands, raising them to cover his ears.

Namjoon broke out laughing, before shaking his head. “So, do you know anything about this mysterious man of yours?”

“No, but I do know, we have a test tomorrow, so let’s get back to work, shall we?”

Yes, he did know one thing. It was to never hold true to ideals about anything. Somehow they always got smashed to pieces.

Hoseok had been right to let go of past ideals as he grew up.

He was sitting in the café, books open as he checked the answers to his test. A smooth cream latte sat near his hand with a plate of the café bakery’s special made chocolate chip cookies. Hoseok and Namjoon being regulars meant the staff knew their preferences and it was a god send when the both of them would stumble in, bleary and hazy from their workload to a ready steaming cup and some desperately needed sugar.

He had attempted to put away thoughts of any blonde men that may have crossed his path to solely worry about how chemistry worked in anatomy and it had somewhat paid off, if only all his answers mirrored the ones in his notes.

So, when he heard that same voice, calling out from the wide open door that had haunted him for the past few days, he had to look up.

In the daylight, if possible The Stranger looked much more beautiful than what the club lights paid homage to. He was awfully tall and broad, the same leather jacket and belt still wrapped around him, only this time, he had a helmet clasped under an arm and his hair was mussed from probably being trapped under it.

Big boots thudded, as Hoseok watched the man make his way to the counter, a hard smile ready for the counter worker who clearly stuttered in talking with him, while boxing up a few things.

Must be another regular; Hoseok thought back if he had ever seen him around but glossed over him. Nothing came to mind, even as the man slid over his payment before grabbing the handles of the bag, laughing at something the barista said.

Sensing that he was about to turn about, Hoseok looked down quickly, nearly burying his face behind the book.

He prayed; eyes closed that he hadn’t been caught. While he had hoped for another sight of his stranger, Hoseok hadn’t accounted for what he would do if it did happen. All the times, he’d imagined meeting up in his daydreams, they always stopped short when it came to a response on his part.

“…hey, it’s you.”

Hoseok gulped, wondering why he wasn’t invisible as he looked up, caught in the dark gaze of The Stranger again.

“It is you. Remember me?” The man tilted his head, shifting the helmet in his arms.

“Oh…yeah, in the club, of course,” Hoseok’s voice shook, hands dropping the book to the table as he worked hard to form coherent sentences.

The man’s eyes flashed to the books, grinning with those teeth flashing. “You’re a student.”

There was no room to deny it even as Hoseok chuckled. “Yeah, what about you?”

“Oh I’m done. I just hang about now.” He lowered his voice as if admitting to a mock crime and after a deep breath, Hoseok let out a much more relaxed grin.

In the light, it was easier to tell how different they really were. He was leather-clad, motorcycle helmet laden. Hoseok was wearing a knit sweater and simple jeans and sneakers, a school bag at his feet and his books strewn about a table.

Worlds apart…

Hoseok was someone easy to approach, to talk to, while this man was obviously not someone who anyone would go to first. However, even with the dark aura that hung about him, the way he talked, to ease Hoseok up, revealed something much softer beneath him.

“Speaking of which, I need to go. I will see you around I guess.” The man said.

Your name - give him your damn name, Hobi.

“My name is Hoseok. I forgot to mention it last time.” He said quickly.

The man paused in opening the door, a quirk to his lips. “I’ll remember that.”

And he was gone, with Hoseok watching his walk to a Harley parked nearby, straddling it as he put on the helmet. The Stranger hadn’t afforded Hoseok his own name…

Maybe they were too different. And maybe Hoseok wasn’t the only one who was aware of that fact.

Even if - Hoseok thought as he stared at the boy sitting opposite him - he wasn’t the only one who knew how different their lives were, neither seemed too intent on cutting their losses just at the moment.

Hoseok hadn’t timed himself, he swore up and down that the reason he was frequenting the café more and more was the increased need for coffee and not the need to catch an elusive Seokjin, whose name he’d caught only accidentally when the barista called for his order.

However, now here they were sitting across from each other.

He was still just as intimidating at first glance, a cold tilt to his head at anyone who he didn’t favor approaching him. A light scoff followed whenever he overheard something particularly obnoxious and rough looking fingers that Hoseok couldn’t help but want to touch.

He was in too deep, he figured. His mind had compartmentalized the raging crush he harbored for the new and exciting addition to his world but he knew that amidst his straight As and glowing recommendations, Jin would not only not sit well, but also appear…unsavory.

And Hoseok absolutely, blissfully, just didn’t care.

He had had a bad childhood, Seokjin had told him. A rich father, who had abandoned his family to ‘fuck about’ as he put it, with packets of money deposited for their upkeep but Jin didn’t touch it.

His mother had paid through the money in a trust after he had graduated in business but instead of putting his degree to use, he’d started working in a garage, now partner in it.

That explained the motorcycle, Hoseok had joked while Jin had only shrugged.

“I also volunteer a lot of my free time. My mom, well, I love her but she’s got her own life now…and she puts all of my father’s money in the trust still so I don’t have to bother her about anything. I don’t think she enjoys having a reminder of my dad around anyway.”

All Hoseok could do was nod his head sadly at him.

So when Seokjin offered to show Hoseok about the volunteering he did, he jumped at the opportunity. He had a chance to see what the man really was like under the façade of the cool bravado and Hoseok could feel intrigue tingling at his fingertips.

He wasn’t disappointed.

Seokjin took him to an animal shelter first, filled with puppies with big eyes, kittens that purred and curled up under their chins, bigger dogs and cats that were soft to touch and clearly abandoned and starved for loved. There were birds too, brightly colored and some wild and a couple of pigs and horses. Each animal that Jin visited seemed to love him, curling under his touch, molding them to him.

The next place they visited was a children’s library. A large group of toddlers shrieked when they saw him, swarming up to him and begging for a story. Hoseok watched with a bemused smile for an hour as Jin made animal and vehicle noises to entertain the spellbound kids.

When finally, they visited a retirement home, it was then that Hoseok saw the brief haunted look behind Seokjin’s eyes. It was just a glance, as he wiped an old woman’s mouth as she chuckled motherly at him, the rice that clung to her chin not fazing Jin in the slightest.

“It’s like having a family of my own.” He whispered as Hoseok put a hand to his shoulder, still hesitant.

“You miss them.”

“I do, but I would rather do this than let them be burdened by my presence again.”

“Maybe, they don’t feel that way.”

Seokjin didn’t reply to that, instead standing with a lovable smile to the lady who waved goodbye. “I’ll drop you off at your dorm.” He said.

His voice scared Hoseok. There was an air of finality there, as if he knew he’d shown Hoseok much more than was necessary. More than he needed to, to a guy who he probably wouldn’t see much of in the future.

“I’m not ready to go just yet.”

Hoseok knew he sounded desperate but there was nothing he could do. He had to accept his reality.

Seokjin turned with a curious look, puzzled at the heaviness in Hoseok’s voice before smirking. “Then there’s one more place I can show you. Let’s grab some dinner first.”

“This is amazing.” Hoseok whispered, awed as Jin flicked on light switches.

When Jin had said he was going to take him to his garage, Hoseok expected something like a shed, greased and metal barred. This was, this was sleek, all black steel and huge lights swinging from the ceiling.

“I spent a good deal of dad’s money on this. Hence, why I got the partnership, I saved the place from sinking. The upscale décor brings in some solid clients so, I guess you could say my sense of style did the job.” Jin kicked at a few strewn crates, turning to throw a wink at Hoseok.

Hoseok looked down at the remnants burger in his hand, biting the piece down into his mouth so as to not answer.

He watched, surreptitiously as Jin undid the jacket, removing his arms from the leather sleeves to reveal an extremely thin white tank top that sent a swoop down Hoseok’s throat, settling somewhere in his gut.

Jin turned; pausing Hoseok’s ogling at his muscled back as he stretched out his arms over his head, a thin strip of his stomach showing.

Hoseok swallowed loudly, the bite of burger going the wrong path and he broke out in coughs.

“Hey, what…” Seokjin laughed, pulling out a water bottle from a mini fridge to pass it to the wheezing boy. “Calm down, pretty boy. I know the burger’s good but eat slowly.”

Hoseok pulled the bottle away, eyes still watering.

This was too much; here he was, Hoseok, a nice kid who tried to steer clear from all sorts of ‘trouble’ and he was here with Kim Seokjin, someone who people would say embodied trouble.

And what was he doing?

Why, all he wanted was Seokjin to ram against him on the surface of one of the cars of course.

He was worse than Namjoon.

“I think…I should go.” Hoseok stuttered, casting his eyes down. This was it, the final time he put himself in the path of such temptations. Jin would never look twice at someone like him. He was in way over his head.

“Hey pretty boy,”

Hoseok looked up at Seokjin, who now stood too close to his face, blond hair hanging in his eyes, lips pulled into his teeth.

“Tell me something, why are you so scared of me?” Jin asked.

Hoseok blinked, all previous concerns evaporating. “Wait, what…? I’m not scared of you.” He said, conviction strengthening his voice.

“Really,” Jin moved in, eyes dropping to the way Hoseok chewed on his bottom lip. “So, why do you keep pulling away? You stare at me, flirt with me, hold on to me on the bike, but when I bring you here and when we’re alone for too long you withdraw.”

Hoseok thudded back against something and Jin took advantage, lifting his hands and putting them on either side of his body, caging him in.

“I’m…I’m not scared of you.” Hoseok sighed, giving in. “I’m scared of well, my feelings, as cliché as it seems.”

“Why?” Seokjin asked smoothly.

“Because we’re so different; I mean you’re a rich kid who acts like a bad boy but is so kind and sweet under all that toughness and I’m…I’m a good sweet boy who would never - never be able to keep up with someone like you. I’m putting myself up for disappointment when you realize it too.”

Seokjin stared at Hoseok, hard and deep. He looked almost angry – dangerous...gorgeous.

“You know what I realized actually?” He asked. There was a pleasant lilt to his tone but Hoseok could feel the undercurrents of a threat to it.

He leaned in, making Hoseok press himself to the wall, his body almost vibrating from the proximity.

“I realized that you’re exactly the kind of person who can keep up with me. I realized that it doesn’t matter if we belong to different circles. I realized that I should probably kiss you right now because you might be a grade-A kid but baby, you’re fucking stupid.

Hoseok had no time to even draw a full breath. Jin had reared back and then slammed Hoseok back again. The hands that Hoseok had dreamed of touching now gripped his cheeks, Jin’s mouth fully on his, swallowing the surprised squeaks he embarrassingly let out.

Seokjin chuckled against his lips, pulling back just enough to nip at his chin. “Fuck, I should’ve done that in the club.”

Hoseok reached forward to tug Jin back, taking over the kiss this time as he delved into the older boy’s mouth, tasting the soda on his tongue.

“Not a complete good boy, then.” Jin commented, reaching back to tug off the tank.

Hoseok lounged against the wall, idly tracing over the tattoos that ran over Jin’s exquisite body. “What do they mean?” He asked as Jin tugged off Hoseok’s shirt too.

Jin paused, glancing down at his torso.

“This,” he raised his arm. “A compass to point me in the right direction,” He moved to his shoulder. “The lion to keep me strong and brave,” he smirked suddenly, grabbing Hoseok’s hand and placing it against the burning skin of his chest. “The tree keeps me kind and nurturing.”

Hoseok met Jin’s gaze, running his hand down to his belt, fiddling with the clasp.

“Wait,” Jin stopped him, shoving his hand away. “This is about you. Let me take care of you tonight.”

“What do you mean, oh,” Hoseok’s voice pitched higher as Jin fluidly sank to his knees in front of him. Deft, nimble fingers undid the buttons and zipper on his jeans, pulling the band and the underwear down to free his gorged shaft.

“Fuck,” Jin and Hoseok both let out as Jin swept his hands against the soft skin. He was hard, Hoseok marveled, hard enough to drip over Jin’s palms which he smeared back onto his skin to make the slide easier.

A loud moan escaped Hoseok’s parted lips when Jin engulfed him, first the tip and then most of his length. He jolted, head falling back as his hips pushed forward on their own volition.

Jin kept his eyes on him, a smirk straining his lips at the vulnerable stance of the lithe man. While he would usually be on the receiving end of this, there was something so sexy, so erotic about watching a man lose it over head as he throated as much as he could.

Hoseok meanwhile fumbled with his hands, alternating between fisting his own hair and tugging at Jin’s to further lower himself into the heat of his cavern. If he knew this was what he would be missing out, there would’ve been no way he would have agonized over it for this long.

Seokjin continued moving, squelching sounds echoing throughout the empty garage that sounded so wonderfully taboo, Hoseok nearly came right there. The thrill of it; the way someone could walk right in, catch them with Seokjin sucking him deep into his mouth caused his eyes to roll back.

“That’s it, pretty boy. Come for me.” Jin coaxed from below and before he could catch his breath, his throat closed up, his body hunching when Jin pulled him back, and the tip of his cock brushing the back of his throat, deeper still.

With an almost pornographic groan, Hoseok unloaded himself into Jin’s throat, his lover keeping him in till he was fully empty.

Jin pulled away from him, color flaming high in Hoseok’s cheeks at the wet sound that echoed through the near empty garage.

All he could do was fall into the surprisingly sweet kiss that Jin pressed to lips, the taste of him mingling in his own mouth. Jin handed him his shirt with an impish grin.

“Next time,” he pulled Hoseok in by the waist. “I’m going to make you pay for ‘zoning out’ in the club.”

#changeswithluv #ficswithluv #smutcentralnet #btsbookclub #jhope smut #jin smut #bts smut #jhope #jin #bts #bts fanfic #jhope fanfic #jin fanfic #jhope x jin #2seok fic

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luvknow · 6 years ago

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sundial | kim seungmin

genre: kim seungmin x fem!reader | light angst ; friends-to strangers-to lovers ; high school/college/spring break au ; mentions of alcohol ; swearing summary: you’re in love with seungmin at the wrong time. wc: 9.6k

“Oh, my God, finally.”

Inside the posh coffee shop in the middle of downtown, Hyunjin sat at one of the tables impatiently awaiting your arrival. Of course you were late, how could you not be when he chose a place to meet up that was closer to his campus than yours!? And during the lunch rush, of all times. He always had a habit of choosing places or ideas that were more convenient to him, but he offered to pay, so it was an offer you couldn’t refuse. The clout you got for hanging out with his stupidly handsome ass was a plus for your social media points, too, so fine, you’ll hang out with him.

Hyunjin had his glasses hanging on the tip of his nose and shot you a sassy glare that reminded you of when your high school teachers would look at you both when you walked into class late because he had to fix his hair in the bathroom.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“No, you’re not,” he scoffed. “What took you so long?”

“I saw this trash bag on the side of the road and I thought it looked just like you, so I stopped and took a picture. Uncanny resemblance, right?” you teased, showing him the trash bag on your phone.

“You think you’re so funny, huh?”

“I’m hilarious.”

The handsome boy sighed dramatically and handed you your favorite order. “Here’s your drink, although it’s probably half water by now.”

“Thanks, and I’ll live.” You happily took the iced drink from his hands.

Hyunjin might be annoying and unbearable on most days, but he was one of your closest friends who regularly kept in touch with you after graduating high school. Meeting up in coffee shops in between classes or grabbing a bite to eat on the weekends was a regular move and those little meet ups were what brought you two closer together. Sometimes the meet ups had a purpose, like he needed last minute tutoring for an exam the next day that he totally forgot about or he was just lonely and wanted some company for dinner. During those times, you’d talk about random shit like some hot chick Hyunjin met at a party, or this drama you were totally into or reminisce about the good ol’ days and it’s like you never left high school.

Ah, the good ol’ days… Were they really that good if they were spent in high school?

You did miss a lot of your other friends that were in the group. It’s not to say that you and the rest of them weren’t close, it was just that your relationship with most of them was more like picking things up where they left off. Hyunjin also went to the college closest to yours, so you often joked about how your friendship with him was based off of convenience, which was kind of true all things considered, right?

“You’re usually not as urgent when it comes to me being late. I think you texted me more today than you have in a month,” you noted suspiciously.

“Can’t I just be eager to see you ~?”

“No.”

“Caught me. I’m eager to see you because I need an answer from you by the time we part ways.”

“You sound so romantic - like when the guy is confessing to the girl when it’s raining and he’s like ‘I love you! I need to know if you love me, too!’”

“Not to disappoint your fantasy of dating me, but I’m not confessing to you. At least not today,” Hyunjin giggled cutely. “A bunch of us are getting together for spring break at Changbin’s vacation home. You down to go?”

“Ah, the vacation home! We have a lot of memories there.”

Both you and Hyunjin could clearly remember after senior Prom all the cheap booze everyone drank for the very first time and both of you hogging the only two bathrooms to hunch over the toilet puking for hours. It was the morning after when everyone appreciated the stash of ramen Changbin had specifically for lunch with a banging hangover.

“And we’re about to make some more memories as dumb kids in college. So are you down, or what?”

“It depends. Who’s going?”

“The usual: Changbin, Jisung, Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Seungmin, Chan -”

“Wait, Seungmin’s going?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t he?”

Seungmin was the only one you didn’t really keep in touch with. There were texts here and there, maybe a Snapchat or two once in a while, but you never made the effort to meet up with him even when he was the one who asked to see you. When your best friend that goes to a different school asks to see you just once every month because he really misses you, the normal response would be for you to be excited because God, you really miss him, too. But your situation was a little more complicated than that.

“Right…” you hesitated.

“Why are you responding like that? You two were like the closest out of all of us.”

You shrugged weakly while playing with the straw in your drink. You hoped your body language could help you lie out of this one. “Even the closest friends can drift apart when their schools are on opposite sides of the country.”

“No, they would find a way to make it work.”

“Yeah, well… This one didn’t go very well.”

Hyunjin sensed your hostility and didn’t push the matter forward. Though his nosy self is curious as to what you meant, you’ll tell him when you’re ready. “Don’t let the awkwardness between you and a couple of others stop you from coming! We’re not the same without you.”

“I don’t know…”

“The _____ I know wouldn’t be such a coward.”

“Hey, I’m not a coward!”

“Then what are you so afraid of!”

“Nothing!”

“All I’m saying is that this isn’t very cash money of you.”

Hyunjin had this charm about him where he could passively pressure anyone into doing anything. It was like the most ordinary superpower known to mere mortals - basically all he’d say to get someone to do something was ‘bet you won’t’, but fancier and with more filler words that made you lose brain cells. Like what does you not being very ‘cash money’ even mean…

“It’s not even for the whole week, it’s during the weekend spring break starts because Changbin has family coming over afterwards. Please come? I’ll be so lonely…”

“Shut up, no you won’t.”

“Give me one good reason why you don’t want to go and I’ll leave you alone. Hell, I’ll even be your alibi and lie for you when everyone asks where you are, but only if you tell me what’s really up.”

Dammit. You had to weigh the pros and cons between telling Hyunjin the truth or sucking it up and going. If you tell him, he’ll stop bothering you, you’ll end up lonely and stuck at home, and now Hyunjin knows that painful secret you keep locked in the apex of your heart. But at least you won’t see the boy in question’s face, you know he won’t go around telling anyone, and your heart is still intact. If you end up going, you’re spending a weekend of a lifetime with your closest friends but that means Seungmin will be there, too. What were you to do if you went and saw him for the first time after avoiding him for so long? Would the heavy weight of guilt rest on your shoulders the whole weekend? Would you feel that familiar crack in your chest? Would your heart be in pieces by the time the weekend was over?

Were you being too dramatic? Maybe. Even though you believed your heart was strong, you couldn’t deny that it was weak for Kim Seungmin.

You could totally lie to Hyunjin, sure, and maybe if he was any other person you probably would have, but your friendship with him meant so much that lying to him was out of the question.

Ok, you’ll go. No one, not even Hyunjin, can know your unprecedented feelings, at least not yet. You’ll suffer through the heartache if it means no one will know.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you said halfheartedly.

“Really!? Awesome! You and I can drive down together. Ah, this is going to be so much fun!”

“I hope so.”

“We’re the closest to the house, so we can leave early and have time to stock up on the goods. Is silver tequila still your drink of choice?”

“Actually, I’m more of a Hennessey girl now ~” you bragged jokingly.

“Wow, are you getting classy on me, babe?”

“For spring break, I am.”

“I suppose Henny-thing is possible on spring break.”

It’s a terrible pun that made you wish you were deaf at that moment, but sadly, Hyunjin was right - anything was possible the moment you see Seungmin.

You met Seungmin by chance. The day you met him was the day the Principal had asked you to show the new kid around school because you shared the same schedule. Of course you agreed because you figured transferring halfway through the year was not easy at all and it’s not like you had the option to decline, anyways. You remembered how shy his smile was, but it still held an undeniable warmth to it - like how the sun rays would peak over the horizon at 6:00 am on a Sunday morning. He matched his smile with a bashful personality, silently nodding and following you around the school like a lost puppy and that’s how it was for about a month. Then you two were partners for assignments, lunch buddies, a carpool dynamic duo, and just like that, Seungmin became your confidant.

Ninety percent of your high school life was spent with Seungmin by your side. The other ten percent was crying over grades, but you easily repressed and replaced those memories with college replicates. You could never do the same to those memories with your best friend. Practically everyone knew how inseparable you two were and that was only because you two came from totally different social classes.

Seungmin was the sports guy. Not necessarily a jock - Minho fit that stereotype more than anyone else - but Seungmin was just naturally good at a lot of sports and still managed to keep his grades up which landed him a full ride to the school he currently attends. All those sports meant a lot of games which also meant a lot of cheerleaders and you know how it goes from there. To put it simply, Seungmin was popular.

You, on the other hand, weren’t as high on the hierarchy of popularity. As long as you weren’t at the bottom of the food chain, the high school protozoan society, you didn’t care where you fell on the infinite layers of the pyramid. But when your friends and his friends and your friends’ friends and his friends’ girlfriends and THEIR friends all knew about how close you two were despite your differences, it was like world peace had spread throughout the school because who knew the star athlete would befriend an understudy like yourself?

That’s pretty much the baseline of how your weird group came together. Seungmin would have his games and matches that you’d always attend and he’d introduce you to his teammates he got close to. You met Hyunjin at a volleyball game; Chan, Minho, and Jisung at a basketball game; Woojin and Changbin at a football game; and Sana and Momo were the cute cheerleaders who never let you forget how much they loved to hug. Seungmin met Felix, Jeongin, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung through you and that was your one big, happy, Breakfast Club-esque loving friend group.

You’re not sure when your heart decided without your consent to flip the switch from platonic to romantic, but you think it was either on one of the nights he sat with you in your parked car with food on your laps talking about the stars and beyond until 2:00 am or when he looked for you in the crowd after winning one of his games. You think it’s the latter because even though those late night talks with mix tapes he made you playing in the background held a special place in your bruised heart, nothing could compete with the feeling of running into his gross and sweaty arms after a game. His hugs were tight, like he couldn’t even bear the thought of ever letting you go. It’s like those cheesy romantic comedy movies set in high school, where the two main characters hug in the middle of the basketball court with confetti falling like snow and they faded out the crowd to focus on how perfectly you fit each others arms.

At least that was how you felt, but you watched way too many rom-coms growing up.

What sealed those feelings in your heart for good like piping hot wax on an envelope was when he asked you to Prom. The way he asked wasn’t extravagant like how all his other teammates asked their dates, but it was perfect nonetheless. It was perfect to you.

It was 9:00 pm on a Wednesday. Your school won this huge basketball game all because Seungmin landed a three pointer right on the buzzer. You went about your natural routine by jumping into his arms before he swung you around, fading out the background noise so it felt like it was just you two in the middle of the gymnasium. When it was time to leave school grounds after he’d finish changing, the skies were pouring.

“Did you bring an umbrella?” he asked you.

“Nope.”

“Same here. Well, I could use a shower after tonight’s game.” Without a warning, the silly boy ran into the rain towards your car with a big grin on his lips, leaving you stunned. Already soaked to the bone, he turned back to you. “Are you coming, or what!?”

“No way, I’ll get sick!”

“You and I can get sick together! C’mon, we won a game today, celebrate with me!”

He ran back to you and dropped his gym bag by your feet before taking your hands and pulling you out from under the awning. The rain was cold that evening, but you focused on the warmth of his hands instead and that was enough to forget about the rain. For a while you two danced as Seungmin screamed the lyrics to Dance Dance and Stop the Rain by Day6 at the top of his lungs with your laughter filling in the gaps.

You felt invincible. You’re in love, and you felt like you could fly forever in the pouring rain. How was he able to do that to you?

Then finally, after catching your breath from singing and laughing, the pouring rain subsided to a light drizzle and it’s the only music you both can hear. You’re too distracted trying to move the hairs stuck on your face to notice Seungmin kept his eyes on you until you returned his gaze with your confused one.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you wondered.

“You don’t have a prom date, right?”

“No, but thanks for reminding me.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“How is me spending prom alone good!?”

“Because I was going to ask if you wanted to go together.”

What. “C-Come again?” you stuttered, hoping the rain was a good excuse to hide your nervousness. Prom? Together? With Seungmin? It’s something you could only imagine in your dreams.

Seungmin got down on one knee and pretended the container of Ice Breakers from his pocket was a ring box. “_____ _____, will you go to Prom with me?”

Your body reacted in different ways. At first, your heart felt like it was racing to flat line, then the butterflies in your stomach fluttered like it was midday summer, and then you felt your head pounding against the walls of your skull. Seungmin was the only one who could make you feel this way.

Of all people, he chose to spend one of the most special nights of your high school life with you.

“Yes, I’ll go, you dork. Now get up before the security man watching us through the cameras gets the wrong idea.”

He looked up at you with his sunshine smile and rosy cheeks and its then when you realized you were in deep trouble.

You never questioned why he asked you. You probably should have - were you going as friends or something more? Did he feel sorry for you because you two were the only ones without dates within your friend group? He had people lining up to be asked by him, so he could have easily asked someone else, but he didn’t. Why?

Prom rolled around quickly, a lot faster than you expected and you were completely terrified. Everyone got together at Changbin’s mansion to get ready - the girls stayed in his sister’s room and the guys were hanging out for a couple hours before actually getting ready because it only took them like ten minutes to do so.

Seungmin was dressed in all black, like the rest of them, with his cherry red hair styled handsomely and standing out from all the black. His mouth was gaping when you entered the room. You were stunning, absolutely breathtaking. He held your delicate corsage in its plastic container and you couldn’t help but imagine that this was like how he had your heart in the palms of his hands.

His grin stretched from ear-to-ear the moment you stopped in front of him.

“You’re so pretty,” he teased, tapping the tip of your nose.

Your heart did a flip. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

And so prom night commenced! It was like any other high school dance except food was provided and the school expanded their budget so they could hire a good Dj for once. The decorations, the food, the occasion itself - none of that mattered the second the dance floor opened up.

Seungmin took your hand and dragged you onto the dance floor, thus making you two the very first couple to break it in. For a couple of seconds, this moment really was like how you’d always imagined it to be - you and Seungmin alone in the middle of the room, not caring about the world surrounding, and simply loving each other’s company. The venue could have been burning around you for all you cared, and even then, you don’t think you’d even notice it because Seungmin was with you.

Your friends and classmates joined in not long after, causing you to shorten the gap with your best friend. With your hands in his, bodies close, surrounded by your favorite people, even though the idea of dancing alone with Seungmin sounded so perfect, sharing the dance floor with all of your friends was nice, too.

Then the slow songs came on and you panicked. How did normal people act in this situation!? Did they just… go right into it? As if reading your mind, Seungmin was already guiding one of your hands to rest on his shoulder. One of his hands ghosted over your waist and the other was occupied holding your other one. It was one thing to hold hands - you were kind of used to the touch - but his hand on your waist was totally new. There were tiny, little electric shocks to your skin whenever you felt pressure in that area. You could feel him switch from ghosting over your waist to actually holding it for the shortest second.

It hit you that he was nervous, too.

“Are you having fun?” you asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“If I’m with you, always.” Your heart hurts. “How about you?”

“It’s never a dull moment when I’m with you.”

“I’m the life of the party, huh?”

“Well, you’re definitely the party in my life.”

“I’ll hold that title with the highest honor.”

“You better, Kim Seungmin.”

Being in his arms lasted too shortly. The dance ended with Seungmin being crowned Prom King and some girl from the same social ranking was crowned the Queen.

“Hold tight,” he told you. “I’ll be all yours again in a minute.”

They danced to some slow song to commemorate the occasion and somehow you’re not jealous. Rather, you felt alone. Seungmin could have been dancing with anyone. Hell, he didn’t have to be dancing at all for you to have felt that way. Just looking at him, standing within the circle of people, watching him smile the same way that made your heart flip, made you feel so, so small - like the tiny moon being compared to the vastness of the sun. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen feet away from you, yet he felt a million miles away.

What hurts the most was that this - whatever you and him were - was as good as it could get.

That’s just how it was, and that’s how it would always be, because Seungmin fell for the other girl in his arms a week later.

The sun was so warm even though it was only 8:00 am. The feeling was reminiscent of a simpler time. It took you back to when you were still in high school, hanging out with your friends until the sun rose again the next day with the only thing worrying your young minds was what kind of food you all wanted to eat. You and the girls didn’t bother suggesting any places because the guys would be yelling and arguing too much to listen, but it got to the point where you and the ladies were hashtag over it and went ahead to the place and texted the guys, ‘see you @ this location’. Eventually the guys learned to compromise, so now everyone got a turn to pick a place to eat.

The sun wasn’t the same in college. Sunrises and sunsets weren’t spent at the beach, but rather spent in the library on weekdays or you completely slept through them on weekends. At least this weekend you could be in the sun again. It was already off to a good start when you and Hyunjin soaked up the Vitamin D in his I’m-a-privileged-kid convertible.

“Whoa, your car has a camera, too!?” you gushed, pressing every button imaginable.

“Yes, now stop messing with my settings!”

“I call Dj! How do I turn up the bass in this thing?”

The journey to the famous vacation home was a couple of hours away, so with all of the pit stops for grocery shopping and instagrammable scenes to capture, you both would arrive around noon. You both practically wiped out the snacks and frozen foods section of the general store and with the bottles of alcohol and red solo cups in the second cart, the cashier was totally judging your guys’ purchases when the store only opened fifteen minutes ago. You tried to hide your shame behind Hyunjin, but he proudly swiped his credit card and bid the cashier a wonderful day. (“Why are you so embarrassed!? They’ll never see us again.”)

“So are you going to tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin or am I going to have to respect your silence?” Hyunjin asked after eating the french fry you fed him from your fingertips.

You knew he was going to ask eventually, so you weren’t thrown off when he asked, but that didn’t calm your nervous one bit. You might as well tell him. What did you have to lose?

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. But I pinky promise.”

“It’s nothing huge… Things just aren’t how they used to be, you know?”

“You said so yourself that even the closest friends can drift away, but why is it that when you hang out with the others, it seems like things haven’t changed at all? Now that I mention it, I can’t remember the last time I saw you hanging out with Seungmin. When was the last time, anyways?”

“When did we graduate high school…?”

“Seriously, _____!?”

“I couldn’t do it, Hyunjin!”

“It’s not because you’re in love with him or something, are you?”

There was a short silence after what he thought was a rhetorical question and he can only assume from there because God forbid that you’d admit something like that out loud. Harshly, he pinched your arm hoping he’d knock some sense into you.

“Ow, what the hell! I didn’t say anything!” you whined.

“You didn’t have to!”

“It’s complicated, ok?”

“Oh, I’m sure it is.” Hyunjin ran a hand through his messy hair as if he knew delved into something deeper than what he expected. “For how long?”

“I don’t know… Around Prom maybe?”

“Isn’t that around the time he started dating what’s-her-name?”

“Yeah. Let’s just say the whole avoiding him thing started around that time, too.”

“_____, you need to tell him.”

“Are you out of your mind!? Why would I ever do that!?”

“You know they broke up like last year, right?”

Your heart did that familiar little flip. “Really?”

“Yes!”

“But that still doesn’t mean I should tell him. It’ll just make everything more complicated than it already is and what if I ruin the dynamic of this group? What if it gets awkward and you guys have to pick sides or alternate who you hang out with on certain days like kids of divorced parents?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh as if he’s heard this too many times before. “You can’t let Seungmin know what I’m about to tell you. And don’t be mad, ok?”

“What do you mean…?”

“He asks about you all the time.”

Oh. Well that was unexpected.

“He does?” Either the sun was too hot or your heart was racing too fast, but you could feel your cheeks burn brighter after every passing second. Where did you put the sunscreen?

“When he sees you on my Snapchat, whenever he and I are texting, hell even when he’s at some party at three in the morning, he’ll ask me how you are because I guess I’m the closest he’ll ever get to you these days. He really misses you, you know? He wasn’t going to come on this trip unless you were going, so I promised him that I’d get you to go. Luckily that wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be.”

Hyunjin’s words struck your chest painfully and you’re filled with guilt, but you couldn’t risk mistaking Seungmin’s gestures for reciprocating your feelings when in reality he was just trying to be a good friend and make up for your lack of effort. Seungmin was always so caring and thoughtful of you, and what did you end up doing after graduation? Ghosting him and making up excuses because you were a coward.

“It’s up to you whether you want to tell him or not,” Hyunjin said, breaking the tense silence. “But I say shoot your shot.”

“You always say shoot your shot.”

“Yeah, but how often do I make my shots? Like one hundred percent of the time. That’s both precision and accuracy, baby, so you should trust my word.”

“But I’m not you, Hyunjin.”

“Very true, but you could be missing out on something great if you don’t go for it. _____, you and Seungmin… There’s no one out there that could be more perfect for each other than the two of you.”

“You think so?” The way your words came out sounded more like a surprise instead of you begging for some reassurance and you hoped Hyunjin caught that before he fed the little glimmer of hope inside your heart.

“I know so.”

Why did he have to say that?

The vacation house was exactly the same as it was on Prom night, only a lot cleaner. You almost forgot how huge it was - it was the biggest one on the block. Only the biggest and the best for the Seos.

Hyunjin parked behind a shiny black Audi that had Chan’s name written all over it.

“My car is still sexier, right?” Hyunjin pouted.

“I don’t know, dude. You got some competition.”

Changbin, Chan, and Sana greeted you both with open arms and tight hugs before helping you bring all of your stuff and the supplies in. The three were already dressed in their swimwear ready to soak up the sun while dipping their toes into the crystal clear waters of the lake and you couldn’t wait to join in. Sana dragged you to the girls’ room which was really just Changbin’s sister’s room, but it was the biggest one in the house.

“I missed you!” she gushed cutely while clinging onto you like a leech. You weren’t as hug-y like the rest of the group, but you admit that Sana’s hugs were one of the few you missed dearly.

“I missed you, too, you dork.”

“So ~” she sang suggestively with some sort of implication hiding in her tone.

“What…”

“I heard Seungmin was coming ~ And he’s single ~”

“Sana!” you shrieked, covering her giggling mouth. “Shut your pretty little mouth!”

“So you do like him!?” she muffled under your hands.

“How in the hell did you figure that out!?”

“Girl’s intuition? You’re also a terrible liar.”

“... I’m going by the lake.”

“Wait, me too!”

As the hours passed, more and more people started arriving and the fun was just getting started. By the time Jisung and Minho’s loud asses arrived, the tables were already set up outside and the liquor was practically pouring itself into everyone’s cups. All that was left was Seungmin and Woojin to arrive with boxes and buckets of pizza and chicken.

At the edge of the mini pier, Sana kept on nudging you whenever she noticed you look towards the door.

“Nervous?” she teased again.

“You have no idea.”

“Just don’t worry about it! Let the drinks do the talking for you!”

“It’s barely 2:00 pm, you alcoholic.”

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

As if God wanted you to suffer, Hyunjin sloppily swung open the back door of the house to reveal Woojin and Seungmin holding lunch.

“WOOSEUNG IN DA HOUSE!” Hyunjin yelled, hoping you would hear.

Time began to move slowly - so slow that you hoped time would just stop so you wouldn’t have to live through the weekend. You instantly regretted agreeing to coming here the moment Seungmin laid his big, curious eyes right on you. He found you right away like he was looking for you and you only. Time completely paused once you were caught under his gaze and you felt like you were turning into stone. You felt like the many men who fell under Medusa’s gaze - where was your Perseus when you needed him? (He was busy eating a chicken leg. Hyunjin was literally The Worst Perseus.)

Time only returned back to normal when he smiled at you. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it, but you could never forget a smile like his that held a special place in your heart - it was irreplaceable. His eyes did the cute little upturn that had your heart racing faster than you realized and now time was moving too fast. Were you panicking? Maybe, but you couldn’t tell. He lifted his hand to wave at you but instead of returning the gesture, you jumped into the lake.

The water was cold. Even though you could see the sun rays from underneath the surface, they didn’t warm up the lake like you hoped. You appreciated the scattering, glittering light for only a second. The colors reminded you of all the fairytale stories about mermaids and pirates and oh, how you wished to be that young and naive again. The union of yellows and blues helped you calm down before you returned to the real world once more.

“Yo, you good?” Changbin called from the pier. Seungmin stood right next to him, worry painting his beautiful face and you felt your body sink deeper under the surface.

“Yeah! I, uh, thought I saw something shiny down there…!”

“Quit being weird and eat with us!”

Reluctantly, you headed towards the ladder on the pier. Water droplets were blinding your eyes when an anonymous person gave you their hand for help and it took a few blinks to see that it was Seungmin.

Under the shade, his hair color was a warm chestnut, but under the sun, flecks of cherry berry strands peaked out proudly.

“Hey,” he greeted before wrapping a towel around your shoulders. You’re shaking, but not because you’re cold. “I think you need this.”

“Hi… And thanks.”

“How are you -”

“Ti~ime to eat!” Hyunjin yelled, dragging both of you towards the picnic table. Thank Zeus for your Perseus.

Woojin found the restaurant where he bought the fried chicken from around midnight the night after Prom. He was so damn hungry after a vigorous game of Smash that he ordered the catering option on the menu and had it delivered. He didn’t want the set up or anything, he just wanted lots and lots of chicken, for all of you of course, and you remembered how much you and the girls clung to him as a thank you for buying real food that wasn’t chips and dip. He didn’t order the entire menu this time now that there was pizza, too, but everyone was happy with the food choices,

Seungmin sat across from you at the picnic table and you wished you had a drink in your hands to chug so you couldn’t worry about his presence. It didn’t help that Sana sat beside you, kicking you at random times throughout lunch both in a teasing manner and as a ‘talk to him, you weirdo’ manner.

“You still only eat the wings?” Seungmin asked.

“Hm?”

Looking down, he was right - you strictly had spicy wings on your plate. Whenever you and Seungmin got a combo plate at any chicken restaurant, you both would split it down the middle. You favored the spicier pieces and Seungmin opted for the milder ones. You expected his plate to be full with mild drumsticks, but his taste must have changed over the years because a spicy wing or two surprised his plate. Yours, on the other hand, stayed the same. What a weird metaphor for how the years in between affected you two.

“Since when did you eat spicy?” you asked.

“Since I didn’t have you hoarding all the pieces.”

“Ah, you should have said something back then! Now I feel bad.”

“You know I could never say no to you.” Seungmin teased.

Despite your restraint, despite the ache in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile. It was nice talking to you again. He was so happy that you were here right in front of him after so long. Even if it seemed like you were miles away.

After lunch, you and Seungmin were the only ones who helped clean up while the rest dove into the cooler or prepared the solo cups for drinks. Luck must have been on your side today - or rather Seungmin’s.

He wanted to talk to you - to ask you how you’ve been; to ask why you never wanted to see him; to tell you he misses you so, so much. But he didn’t. He stayed silent. You stayed silent. It hurts - everything, anything, all of it.

You spent the rest of daylight away from Seungmin. How was it that even talking about something as stupid as chicken wings gave you heartache? Or maybe it was heartburn? Regardless, being near Seungmin wasn’t good for you. No matter how many times today he tried to talk to you, to be beside you, to get you to even look in his direction, nothing worked. It’s like you wanted nothing to do with him.

What did he do to have you hate him this much?

“He keeps looking over here,” Sana noted while you both dipped your feet in the lake. She left the teasing tone behind when she noticed you hadn’t smiled as often as you should be on spring break.

“Why…?”

“He misses you.”

“I wish everyone would stop saying that.”

“Fine fine, I won’t bother you with it anymore.”

Just when you thought you could sit calmly without a care in the world, without wondering about how the boy you loved was looking at you, your serenity was interrupted by Sana pushing you into the lake. The icy water knocked the sorrow out of you and now all you wanted was revenge.

“You bitch!” you giggled before yanking Sana in by her feet.

Then chaos ensued! From the rope hanging on the tree to floating on the little inflatable banana, everyone joined you two in the lake. Laughter filled the open air and for the first time since Seungmin arrived, you didn’t think about him at all, even when you felt his eyes on you.

Your smile was still the same. So was your laugh, your little nose crinkle, and the blush that adorned your cheeks. With the setting sun behind you, Seungmin was reminded how you were still so beautiful. How could he have forgotten? It really must have been that long.

Your hair clung to your face the same way it did when it rained.

After the boys were tired to jumping off of the rope, taking flexing pics with the girls, and a hundred rounds of chicken, the sun set calmly below the horizon. Orion’s belt glittered the night sky first and that let everyone know it was time to bring the festivities inside.

“You comin’?” Hyunjin asked.

“Gimme a sec. The city doesn’t get a view like this, y’know?”

“Don’t stay out too long, you’ll get sick.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

The night air was crisp and cool, peaking through the holes of your knit sweater. It helped you sober up from what little alcohol was left in your system and you felt good even though you were alone. The slow winds dried your hair while you sat contently at the edge of the pier and for a short while, you just enjoyed the reflection of the moon on the water in solidarity.

Seungmin joined you shortly after he wrapped a towel around you again and you’re no longer nervous nor bothered by his presence. It was time to face the inevitable. Seungmin was always quite persistent when it came to you, so why bother fighting it. So here you two were - old, distant friends sitting at the edge of the pier in a tense silence waiting for the other to say something.

“Hi,” Seungmin began.

Your heart flipped. “Hi.”

“How are you?”

He was trying to be careful with his words - tip toeing around you so he doesn’t scare you away. How does one go about a conversation after being absent for so long? How are you, he asked? You’re coasting through torturous monotony. Before you could answer, he corrected himself.

“I guess it’s more like how have you been? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“A couple of years now.”

“Yeah… why is that?”

His tone was a homogeneous mix of curiosity, hurt, and upset and it was hard to tell the difference. He’s not mad, that you’re sure of, because you had to have your reasons, right? But would you be honest with him about it?

“What do you mean?” you questioned innocently.

Seungmin jumped right into it. “Why don’t we ever see each other anymore? Did I do something wrong?”

No, of course not! “No, that’s not -”

“Then what is it? You don’t answer my calls, my texts, or anything! I need a middleman just to get to you! What am I supposed to do when I’m up at 3:00 am at some party drunk off my ass and I’m somehow still thinking about you and worried about whether you’re eating right or sleeping enough!? I can’t call you because you won’t answer, so you know what I do? I call Hyunjin, and it hurts. It hurts because I’m sitting here wondering if you even miss me, too, or that you already replaced me with him, but I still call him because I miss you, _____. But I also can’t be calling Hyunjin every single time I think about you.”

He was like water breaking a beaver dam with his emotions spilling all at once. Seungmin’s angry and his voice is shaky, but he’s not angry at you. He’s angry at time and how time functioned. Something like this was inevitable, right? Moving cross-country to different schools, dating other people, drifting apart, forcing yourself to forget about him just so the pain in your chest would subside… It was bound to happen.

“Do you remember our promise?” he asked.

There was a huge get-together, one last hoorah at Woojin’s place before everyone parted ways to different colleges. Seungmin would be the first to leave tomorrow and it hadn’t hit you until you and him stood on the rooftop of the apartment complex overlooking a place you called home one last time.

“Are you all packed?” you asked quietly.

“Mhm.”

“Got your teddy bear and everything?”

“You know it.”

“Posters? Decor? Pictures of friends?”

“Yes, yes, and yes, although half of them are of you and me.”

“Perfect.” The tears in your eye were stinging. “How is Yuna taking it?”

“Way worse than you are, that’s for sure.”

“That’s how all girlfriends are supposed to be.”

“It’ll be worse after she drops me off tomorrow. You know how dramatic she can get.”

“Sure.”

Yuna would be the last one to see him. She’d be the last to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him she loves him, and it was better this way.

He nudged you with his elbow and brought you out of your thoughts. “What’s up with you, space case?”

“Nothing, I just…” The tears start to fall. “I’ll miss you a lot. That’s all.”

He chuckled because how could you be so silly? Of course he’d miss you, too, but nothing would change. There was nothing for you to be sad about. Seungmin pulled you into a big bear hug and smoothed out your messy hair that got tangled in the wind. His hugs felt like home.

“I’ll miss you so much, _____-bear. I promise I’ll keep in touch.”

“Ok, I believe you.”

“Never replace me, ok? I’ll fight someone if I have to, I swear.”

“I believe you,” you giggled.

“Promise you’ll never forget me?”

“How could I forget THE Kim Seungmin?”

“Just promise me. Please?”

“I promise I’ll never forget you, Kim Seungmin.”

“Mm, good. You know I love you, right?”

You’re crying harder and it hurts to breathe.

“I love you, too.”

“Did you forget? About the promise - about me?”

Seungmin was looking at you, silently begging for you to return the favor, but you refused. It’s like he didn’t know who you were anymore.

“I could never forget about you,” you reassured. You were unforgettable.

“Then where were you!? Where were you when I missed you? When I missed home? When I aced my final and wanted someone to tell me they were proud of me? When I was heartbroken over Yuna? Or when I just needed to know you were ok!?”

Where were you? Drowning your sorrows in some cheap jungle juice? Dying at the library maybe? Somewhere with Hyunjin? Most importantly, you were probably ignoring those feelings for him deep in the apex of your heart. That’s what you were doing on most days.

All that effort went to waste in the end.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled pathetically. “It’s been rough these past couple of years.”

“Me, too, and that’s why I needed you. Do you not need me anymore?”

You’ll always need him. No matter how far apart you are, no matter how hard you denied it, no matter how much you tried to forget him, deep down you knew you’ll always need him. The heartache would be worth it as long as he was with you, so you should stop fighting yourself, right? It would subside one day.

“I’ll always need you,” you whispered. “Maybe I just needed to be alone. In high school, I didn’t know who I was without you - isn’t that crazy? We’d been stuck together for so long and now we’re facing adulthood alone. Well, I’m alone, at least.”

“I’m lonely, too.”

“Yeah, but you have Yuna.”

“Had.”

“Right, sorry.”

“But you have, Hyunjin, don’t you?”

“I see him like twice a month and we don’t talk about that kind of stuff, so that doesn’t really count in my book.”

“Twice a month? That’s a lot… Yuna and I didn’t even see each other that often…” There’s a hint of jealousy in his tone and you shouldn’t feel accomplished, but it felt good to be on the other end of the spectrum for once.

“Can I ask…?” you hesitated. Were you ready to open a can of worms you weren’t prepared for?

“You mean what happened with Yuna?” Seungmin shrugged carelessly as if heartbreak was just a thorn in his side. “Even I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“One day I’m telling her ‘I love you’ and the next day I can’t say it back.” He laughed but it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You just stopped loving her…?”

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”

“Ah, don’t get mad!”

“I-I’m not…!” you lied. Ok, you’re not mad, you’re more confused if anything, but how could he not know what went wrong in their relationship!?

“Funny, that’s exactly how she reacted when I said I don’t know.”

“If I ask a guy I’m in love with why he doesn’t love me back anymore and he says, ‘fuck if I know’, you bet your ass I’m gonna be pissed!”

He laughed again, but this time it was genuine. Then a comfortable silence fell in between. Seungmin got what he wanted to say off of his chest and you two were bickering like you would in high school, but he knew there was something you were holding back. The _____ he knew was never this shy around him. Yes, things have changed, but even he speculated it couldn’t be by that much, right?

“Are you ok now?” you asked.

“After the break-up? Oh yeah, I’m fine. The first week was bad, but I’m ok now.”

“That’s good. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

“It’s ok. As long as you’re here now and you won’t ghost me anymore.”

The heartache would be worth it. “I promise.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can continue missing you like this anymore.”

Seungmin loved the moon. She was beautiful tonight, but not when compared to you. In the same sense, you loved the sun, but you loved Seungmin more. The love story of the sun and the moon was tragic, wasn’t it? Fate decided that two beings full of light and love destined to only love each other would never cross paths. They would perpetually revolve around the Earth for eternity only getting a glimpse of each other every twelve hours, seeing the other fall below the horizon just before they could even say hello. But once every four hundred years, the sun kissed the moon during the solar eclipse. Waiting four hundred years was nothing compared to the short moment they shared together. It was worth every second when the timing was right.

“_____.”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

So this is it.

“I have.”

You saw Seungmin tense up next to you. He must not have expected you to say yes right away. “Really…?”

“Mhm,” you hummed with more confidence. Seeing his reaction was kind of fun. Was he wondering who you could be in love with?

“What’s it like?”

“You should know better than me.”

“I wouldn’t say that… But what’s it like for you? What’s it like for cold-hearted _____ to be in love?”

“I’m not cold-hearted! Am I…?”

“Ghosting me for two years is kind of cold-hearted in my eyes.”

“Ok ok, I deserve that.”

“Tell me, _____. Tell me your love story.”

You hugged your knees close to your chest hoping they’d protect your heart a little more than the cage it was already in, but she was wild like a bird and ready to break through any second. Not even you could anticipate how she’d react while you told your story.

“I wouldn’t call it a story,” you shrugged. “There’s no plot, no character development, no comic relief - hell, there’s not even a resolution of conflict. It’s just one big cloud of conflict.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.”

“Why was it conflicting? Doesn’t being in love make all your problems irrelevant? Doesn’t it make you want to fly?”

“It did at first, but now it feels like my wings have been clipped and just the thought of flying hurts because I want what I can’t have.”

“Now? You’re in love now?” he asked incredulously.

Curse the Freudian slip. “I-It’s just a metaphor…!”

You watched his shoulders relax. “Is your love story happy at all?”

“It’s more of a tragedy than anything else.”

“What happened?”

“How does that one saying go? You can’t help who you fall in love with? I guess I fell for the wrong person.”

“Couldn’t it just have been the wrong timing? Love just doesn’t fall into your lap. If you’re meant to be, you’ll end up with each other eventually, right?”

“I don’t know if I really believe in that.”

“Why not? The sun thought the same thing when he first fell in love with the moon and bam, four hundred years later, when the timing was right, they were together in a painfully beautiful eclipse. Total eclipse of the heart in the most literal sense.”

“Solar eclipses don’t even last ten minutes!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Well, what about you and Yuna, hm? Did you think you guys just fell in love at the ‘wrong time’?”

“No, we simply weren’t right for each other. I don’t think we’ll ever get back together - it’s not like she’s my soulmate.”

“Please don’t tell me you believe in that stuff, too!” you groaned loudly. Even in the midst of all the bickering, neither of you could hold in cheek-burning smiles, arguing just like the old times. You missed this just as much as you missed him.

“Of course I believe in it! How can you not!?”

“That’s not fair, Yuna reciprocated your love. You believe in this kind of stuff because you got to love and be loved and learn that you weren’t right for each other. So obviously, you fell for the wrong person at the time, right? It wasn’t just the timing of things.”

“But we both knew that because we were being honest with our feelings for each other, regardless of how we ended. How can you know for sure you just fell for the wrong guy or if it was the wrong time when you’ve never told him how you feel!?”

“Because you loved Yuna!!”

Crickets chirped in the bushes, lightning bugs danced by the shore, and pesky little mosquitoes stung the surface of your skin. You tried focusing on anything, even bugs, just so you wouldn’t have to look at Seungmin’s twisted and confused face. You should jump in the lake again - you would sink beneath the surface and hope evolution would turn you into a mermaid in a matter of seconds so you could swim away and never return.

You wanted to get up and run inside, but you were too tired. You wanted to cry, but even so, you were too tired. You wanted Seungmin to leave you for good and give you the answer you needed to hear, but maybe he was also too tired…

Even if he did leave, even if he ignored you forever, even if he hated you for loving him as more than a friend, would that make everything easier? It had to be better than this silence, right? It was so quiet that you could hear your heart collapsing as the seconds passed.

When You Love Someone by Day6 played on the shitty speaker of Seungmin’s phone.

“Do you remember this song?” he asked.

You could feel his eyes bore holes into your soul. “This played at Prom, didn’t it?”

“It was our first slow dance together.” Seungmin hopped up from his seat and held a hand out to you. He chuckled at your confused expression. “Dance with me.”

It was a command, not a question, so you reluctantly (gladly) obeyed. With both your hands in his, he pulled you up and guided both around his neck. His hold on your waist was not as shy as it was on Prom night. You’re not used to this confident side of him, but you figured it was just one of the few things about him that changed after not seeing him for so long.

You liked it.

Your collapsing heart was beating rapidly in your chest and with the nonexistence of the gap between you and Seungmin, you swore he could feel it, too. It was so loud - louder than the song playing on his phone. No one other than him could make you feel like you could die and fly at the same time.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

“Reliving high school.”

“Ew, why?”

“What, you didn’t like being my Prom date?”

“It’s not that, it’s just why would you want to relive high school? It sucked ass.”

His laugh was music to your ears. “Yeah, it did, but it sucked less with you next to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.”

You could feel Seungmin play with the hem of your sweater as the song ended. A queue wasn’t set up, so you and the boy you loved swayed to the crickets chirping in the bushes.

“Are you in love with me now or was that just a metaphor?” he asked.

“Seungmin…”

“I need to know if you loved the wrong guy or you loved me at the wrong time.”

“I…”

Seungmin was always a patient man, but not today - not in this moment. He needed to know your answer.

“I tried everything. I haven’t talked to you for years, I avoided you at all costs, and I almost gave up the chance of seeing everyone all together again because I knew you’d be here and I didn’t know what I’d do when my heart couldn’t handle seeing you. I tried everything to not to feel this way about you, and none of it worked. Maybe you are the wrong guy, maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it’s both, but no matter how hard I try, I could never stop loving you.”

The tears in your eyes blur the lightning bugs floating around you two. Everything hurts. Even when Seungmin held you tightly against his chest, trying to keep you whole, your confession made you feel broken. There’s no longer that heavy burden of hiding your feelings weighing you down, but you still felt incomplete. Empty.

“_____-bear,” he hushed, calling you by your beloved nickname he made. “Timing is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

“It’s a terrible thing.”

“Only sometimes. But today, it’s almost perfect.”

“How?” you asked, quite insulted that he’d say such a thing with you crying in his arms.

“After two years of trying to get to you, today I got to see you. I got to talk to you. I got to dance with you. I got you to confess your undying love to me. And now I’m here, under the moonlight, with you in my arms. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.”

“Don’t say those things unless you mean it, Kim Seungmin.”

“I could never lie to you, _____-bear. Not when you’re the right person at the right time.”

You sighed heavily, the shakiness in your breath apparent and Seungmin held you tighter. He kissed the top of your head when you buried your face into his chest. He felt like home.

“You make it so hard to stop loving you,” you mumbled.

“Good,” he replied. “Don’t ever stop. Even after I do this.”

“Do what -!?”

Seungmin must have been working out since you last saw him because with ease, he picked you up and jumped into the lake with you screaming in his arms. The water was still cold, much colder than it was earlier today and you knew you were both going to get sick after this. Before you could scold him and swear up a storm, his lips shut you up and you figured this was what it felt like to fly.

“I hate you,” you cried out after pulling away.

He moved strands of hair that stuck to your face. “That’s too bad because I love you.”

You couldn’t handle his corny words, so now it was your turn to shut him up.

The water was cold, but at least his lips kept you warm.

EPILOGUE

“Are they making out yet?” Sana asked Hyunjin who hogged the window space.

“I think so? I can’t see now that they’re in the lake.”

“Finally! It’s about time!”

“Yeah, but now we’re going to get front row seats to their PDA…”

“Oh God, it’s only Saturday, isn’t it?”

“And we’re here until Monday morning…”

“Great…” Sana handed Hyunjin a full cup of some mystery drink. “Cheers to spring break.”

#kim seungmin #seungmin #skz #stray kids #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #don't get mad at me this has ZERO plot ok it's all filler words aksjdklajdslakj #this did not take long at all wow #like 3 days tbh #omg i know it's a lot of hyunjin too LMAO SORRY #ah.... i'm nervous about this one

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago

Text

a handful of fun-or-something selections from my four separate attempts at writing a benston fic (prior to the s5 premiere evidently lol). shit is On Brand in there. ordered vaguely along the lines of [most Depressive Introspection] <-> [most Things Almost Actually Happening]

"Ben's talked to him after they were in a meeting together, sure, but also when Winston was having lunch, or sitting at his desk, or waiting outside Taylor's office to bring them a weekly report and maybe having selected that particular time to do so because he knew Ben was around. But why wouldn't Ben talk to him specifically, and even seek him out? He's in charge of Taylor's quant department, it's probably only polite, and Ben's always polite—to Winston, and to the other higher-ups, but also to other random analysts, and really anyone he meets. And if the way Ben treats him during their interactions always seems kind and gentle to the point of carefulness, or maybe delicacy, it's probably only because, from the very start, Winston has been flustered and tongue-tied around Ben, sometimes so unprepared to be in his presence that it makes him tense. If anything, Ben's probably a friendly enough person to feel bad for Winston, the social inept, unpopular computer nerd who really doesn't have anything going for him and is less on top of things than ever when Ben's around.

He can't let himself start thinking maybe Ben likes me, too? Maybe just a little? because there's absolutely nothing to indicate this. Ben's nice to everyone. He's given Ben nothing to like. It makes sense for him to catch feelings for Ben, of course, but no sense for Ben to be having the same experience over him, of all possible people. He can humor himself just a little, enjoy getting to talk with such a thoroughly lovely person, maybe even try to tentatively flirt—as long as he can remember there's only going to be one outcome. If he does nothing, he won't have a relationship with Ben. If he outright asks him on a date, he won't have a relationship with Ben. And if he tries for some compromise—like allowing for the fact that maybe Ben really was specifically hoping Winston would show tonight, and strategically sitting near him but not too near him, and seeing what happens—he won't have a relationship with Ben."

"But then again, they don't seem that keen on being friendly with anyone at all in the first place. Less competition - though if Ben hasn't turned the heads of any other Mase Cappers a radian or two, Winston wouldn't understand it either, though it might encourage him a little more. Despite how warm and patient and welcoming Ben is, Winston doesn't even know if he's single. Or if he's interested in men. Or if he'd be interested in Winston. And despite the fact they're technically coworkers and Ben's willing to be a go-between, maybe he's not willing to get romantically entangled with anyone from Mase Cap.

And it'd be easy for Winston to just beat himself up and call himself a coward for not simply acknowledging his interest in Ben and shooting his shot, but he knows that the level of rejection he often inspires in people goes beyond a simple "no." In some way it might be a relief to have Ben definitively turn him down - he'd just be able to set the crush aside and not end up pining his way to greater heartache. He's not exactly afraid of that; he'd be disappointed but completely unsurprised. It's the possibility he'd make Ben uncomfortable. His smile might flicker at the sight of Winston. He might want to avoid Winston to the point it could interfere with work somehow. Winston might have to watch Ben's expression fall once he infers Winston's meaning, and that thought alone is disheartening enough to keep him from going for it."

"He had to admit he was sometimes afraid of this, enough to linger in a relationship with someone he knew didn't even like him all that much, but who still sometimes kissed the corner of his jaw or got into bed with him."

"And, hell, maybe a cashier at a bodega near Ben's apartment is crushing on him. It's obvious just from a moment with Ben—Winston must have so much competition.

And what's he offering against anyone else? He might head a department at Taylor Mason's fund, but even that's probably not enough to make his career as a quant seem glamorous to anybody besides another quant. He blends into a crowd or even a small group; there's nothing strikingly attractive about him like there is with Ben. He's not charismatic or charming. People don't really take to him—he's been all too aware of this for a long time. Even if he were to go up to Ben and make some sort of move—try to flirt or just try to make any kind of positive, lasting impression—he'd surely just cement himself in Ben's mind as annoying, offputting, awkward, or any combination thereof.

Also, Ben might be straight. Or maybe he's already with someone. Of course Winston isn't going to go up to Mafee or Taylor and ask about Ben's sexual orientation or relationship status. But even without confirmation one way or another, there's no reason to think that Ben's available, or interested in guys, much less interested in Winston in particular.

The fact that Winston is trying to convince himself to keep his hopes down, though, probably means he's already gotten his hopes up too much."

"He was well-aware that he was lonely. And he'd had bad experiences from a setup like this - maybe leaning too hard into a crush because he was hard-up for something positive and wanted a new relationship to change things for him - and he'd simply get turned down in varyingly embarrassing ways, or spend a while agonizing over how to make any sort of move, only to eventually judge that the interest was not at all mutual, or end up with someone who wasn't that great to be with, and be stuck there for months longer than he wanted, because he was the one who wanted this in the first place."

"But he's supposed to be managing this crush, not indulging it to the point it runs away from him. So he has to be okay with the probability that he might not catch Ben's attention at all tonight, save maybe for a cursory greeting and/or goodbye. And why should he expect more? He shouldn't. But he'll put himself in the position to have a chance. Because a workplace crush is okay if he keeps himself grounded and realistic about it—if it's just some small, private embellishment to his day, harmless, just adding this aspect of fun and color to what can often be a fairly lonely and dreary workweek."

"Nowadays, with Taylor Mason Capital a supposedly temporary subsidiary of its supposedly former rival, Axe Capital, it's hard to imagine what could properly compensate for the daily stress levels. And Winston knows he doesn't have it half as hard as Taylor does - they're keeping their feet under themself as always, and it's hardly as though he never saw them unhappy, tense, or worried during their fund's first year, but there's an edge to them so frequently now, coiled and guarded, which he hates to see but completely understands. Worse, he has to be grateful for some of the additional stress they're heaping on themself. Taylor works to protect him and their other employees from not only Axe himself, but the pettiest bullies and hotshots and every struggling analyst with something to prove. It's miserable for all of them, stuck in the same office as these people who barely bother to temper their obvious antagonism.

In this situation, there's a head-turning gleam to the least silver lining. So "in having to work alongside these people, you also get to work alongside Ben Kim" is like sunshine.

Of course Winston had noticed Ben the first time the core Mase Cap team strode together into the heart of Axe Capital HQ. A guy standing at the front, obviously attractive, and the double endorsements in the form of another Axe Capper shutting him down but Mafee returning his greeting meant that Winston could admit to himself that Ben was cute. A bright smile, a baritone to make you weak in the knees - Winston had kept a wary eye on everyone and everything around him all that day, but this only made it easier to periodically glance at Ben."

"The closest he ever got to a usable moment falling into his lap was the time Ben and another Axe Capper (one of the less aggressive ones, luckily) rode the elevator up from the lobby with Winston and Lauren. Winston had been rendered incapable of speaking, but Lauren kept up a fun, relaxed exchange for the duration of the ride, and Winston at least managed to look back and forth between the others, following the conversation, and when they were two floors away Ben caught his eye and smiled and Winston immediately smiled in return and couldn't entirely stop smiling until he'd been settled in at his desk for a solid ten minutes or so - and it would've taken longer for the mood boost to dissipate if any workday's baseline stress level weren't so high."

“"But formally meeting Ben just the once was more than enough to make an impression. It wasn't a situation where Ben wasn't as nice up close and personal, or where his face fell when Winston introduced himself - in fact, he'd smiled brighter, and Winston's hand had tightened in Ben's, and once again, Ben's expression didn't sink in the slightest. Winston spent that meeting trying to play it safe - only speak when directly asked a question. And spontaneously jumped into the middle of an exchange only three times. And at the end of that meeting, Ben's lovely, kind smile hadn't closed off to him at all.

Winston doesn't like having crushes. But despite what most people think of him, he's not clueless. Which is why he knows that most people think he's clueless. And it took about twenty minutes to know he had a crush on Ben, and, within a week of having met each other's eyes and exchanged smiles, he knew his interest in Ben wasn't going to evaporate overnight. But this wasn't the first time Winston had been in this situation, and he knew better than to just sink into the warmth and fuzziness."

"As he listened, he thought Taylor seemed slightly more relaxed than usual—it was a subtle difference, and although he was usually tuned into Taylor's wavelength with precision, it also might be wishful thinking on his part, wanting to see the best in Ben, like Taylor was indirectly endorsing him."

"He's already thought about Ben like that, too. Not so much outright fantasizing as with the pleasant memories of his ex, more of just...wondering. Exploring, almost. He's had plenty of fleeting thoughts at the offices, noticing things that were attractive about Ben from afar. Watching his arms as he leaned back in his chair and stretched them overhead, focusing on the lowness of his voice when he trailed off to complete a thought in a murmur, letting himself glance at the occasional emergence of scruff along his jawline, at his lips, at the small wedge of bared skin at the open collar of a button-up. Whenever he's actually directly interacting with Ben, though, or even close enough to him, that observation of Ben's attractiveness loses granularity. He's hit with so many aspects of him at once and just gets swept up in the experience."

"Winston's generally aware when Ben drops in, even when Winston's just spending the whole day at his desk. In part because Ben tends to swing by to greet his team at some point before leaving, which...he has to do just to be nice. Nobody has any incentive to schmooze with the quants. Especially not fundamental analysts from a the fund which is only technically an affiliate because their CEO wants to feel like he's got their CEO in a cage. But Ben appears for at least a moment anyways, smiling and soft-spoken, asking if they're okay today. He never looks at Winston first but inevitably does, like he's deliberately holding off on it, and Winston meets his gaze in that moment because he's waiting for it, and Ben smiles a little wider with a nod, and Winston twitches his shoulders up and smiles faintly in return.

He's reading into these kinds of routine moments, and that means he's sitting poolside on the verge of slipping right in too deep."

"He was also told that he would need to attend such a meeting that upcoming Thursday—that he didn't have to prepare anything, or even really expect to say anything at all, but should be present in case this Axe Cap liaison had any questions regarding the quant team. Once he stepped into the meeting room and saw Ben sitting beside Sara, it immediately clicked—the beautiful, velvet-voiced man who'd been friendly to Taylor and Mafee. It made perfect sense he'd be the one willing to regularly visit Mase Cap headquarters—it just hadn't occurred to Winston to think he might be this lucky.

He'd hesitated at the sight of him, caught up in a double-take, which gave Ben plenty of time to look over and meet his gaze and at once offer a smile. Small, but still incandescant. With that alone, Winston decided he needed to figure out a word for this effect that hit him where he stood, making any sense of self-possession scatter from his grasp like dropped papers. What was it called when a moment of "a guy this cute smiling at the sight of you" caused you to careen down a tangled mental tangent of word-invention when all you should be doing is acting like a regular person who knows how to smile and nod and sit down—instead of staring breathlessly at him for half a second too long like you've never seen another person before, then be somewhat mentally overwhelmed by the task of figuring out which chair to take?

Taylor had spoken up then, offering him something of a reset by introducing him to Ben by name, then vice versa. Ben Kim, Winston had told himself, firmly suppressing any mild panic as Ben again turned to him, smiled, and leaned in to shake his hand. Don't let this keep you from remembering his name. Ben Kim, Ben Kim—his handshake was solid, but not the aggressive-assertive clasp you'd maybe expect from some random high finance businessperson wanting every interaction to be a power struggle. Hands warm. Ben Kim. Ben Kim. Winston managed to flicker a smile in return, hoping his nervous tension wasn't going to read like he was offput by Ben, or trying to act distant, or anything at all—regardless of how pleasant and attractive Ben was, it just made sense to want the Axe Cap go-between to like him, to make a good impression for Taylor's sake if nothing else. But his thumb twitched against Ben's as they ended the handshake, and Winston blinked in a flurry but couldn't make himself look away first, so they were just looked at each other for another moment, and he probably seemed ridiculous, if not incompetent."

#winston billions #benston #ft. some Elements of:#tayston

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yume-x-hanabi · 5 years ago

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Family - Chapter 1

This is a translation of the first chapter of the short story featured in the ToX2 Scenario Book, titled “Family.”

Chapter 1

The wind was cold that evening.

The western district of Trigleph, the spyrix metropolis. A townscape of concrete buildings and a stone-paved road. A bustling shopping street. The world may have been on the decline, but this city was prospering well enough for people to live.

The sun was starting to set on the commercial district, where children were running between the housewives doing their shopping. A bit further down the street was an elementary school, and it was right about the time classes ended. This road was also a school route.

Among the passerby, there was a tall blond man with a sour expression on his face, and a small silver-haired boy who looked quiet. They were two brothers—the eldest, Julius Will Kresnik, was coming home from work, and the youngest, Ludger Will Kresnik, was coming home from school. This street was linking the brother’s workplace and school with the apartment building where they lived. It was therefore not unusual for them to run into each other on their way home.

Boys around the same age as the seven-year-old Ludger passed the two, laughing and playing. In contrast, the brothers had not exchanged words for more than five minutes at a time.

Julius looked down at his brother. Their eyes met. However, none said anything. The silence was awkward. The first one to cave was the older brother.

“How was school?”

“Huh… M-Math was hard, so I practiced… even during the break.”

“……”

“I’m sorry… I’ll study harder…”

“???”

Julius had shown no reaction when Ludger told him he was bad at math. He had not meant anything by his silence, but his younger brother had interpreted it as a reprimand and apologized. That was something Julius could not understand. Looking at him from the corner of his eyes, Julius felt that there was more he wanted to say.

“A-And… For social studies… we’re going to the vegetable market… I’m looking forward to it.”

“A field trip… Right, that’s a thing.”

“…You’ve never been on one?”

“I’ve never been to school…”

Julius himself was only fifteen. He was born with a special ability, and had been ‘employed’ since a young age as a Spirius agent. Destroying fractured dimensions created by catalysts to protect the prime dimension they lived in—that was Julius’ job. This job did not require studies, but the chromatus ability necessary to enter fractured dimensions. School was useless to him.

However, his seven-year-old brother did not know that. And he would not tell him. Besides, Ludger believed that they had no parents, and that, as his only family left, Julius was working without going to school to take care of him. That his brother was the reason they had a roof above their head. And yet he had dared to look forward to a fun activity. How inconsiderate.

Ludger panicked and tried to change the topic. “Ah!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Julius, do cats… have to be skinny?”

“What?”

“I drew a cat in art class… But my friends said it wasn’t cute…”

Julius wondered what kind of cat he had drawn.

“…I think that round cats are cute…”

Julius pictured a fat, round cat… but he did not know whether that was cute. Ludger took his silence to mean he did not agree with him, and looked down sadly.

“Whatever your friends say, since you like it, isn’t that enough?” Julius replied nonchalantly. Thinking that he was showing him support, Ludger nodded enthusiastically.

“By the way… Do you have friends?”

“Friends?”

Ludger waited for his brother’s answer, but Julius simply silently looked in the distance.

“What do you think about the guy with the drooping eyes?” Julius asked after a while.

“Huh? Drooping eyes?”

Julius’ question confused Ludger, so he continued. “I don’t like him. When I see his stupid face and hear his stupid jokes, I just want to kick him in the back.”

“…That’s your friend?” Ludger asked.

Julius’ nostrils flared. “My friend? He’s just an acquaintance I can’t escape. According to him, I have ‘the most evil eyes’. Do you think that too?”

As Ludger was wondering what he meant by evil, Julius kept on ranting. “When I asked him to explain himself, he said ‘the face looking back at you is the answer’ like he thinks he’s witty. What’s wrong with my eyes?”

Ludger was intrigued, because Julius, now getting worked up, was finally showing expression. Since they had lost their parents and were living only the two of them, to Ludger, Julius was a dependable older brother, as well as a father figure. Julius was very reliable and mature for his age. So Ludger wondered who was that ‘drooping eyes’ man who was bringing out his brother’s childish side.

He’s his friend, but Julius wants to kick him? I don’t get it…

“On top of that, that droopy bastard told me to wear glasses. I don’t want to change my style! Why should I wear glasses when my eyesight is good?! Right?”

Ludger was staring at his brother’s indignant face.

“What’s so funny?”

Now on the receiving end of his brother’s glare, Ludger recoiled and instinctively apologized.

“You think I look evil too? You want me to wear glasses?”

“Huh… I… I don’t…”

The smell of warm soup suddenly reached Ludger’s nose, and his stomach rumbled.

He apologized again. Seeing his small brother cowering like that, Julius mentally kicked himself and softened his expression.

“Don’t apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s natural for your stomach to growl.”

Ludger relaxed and let out a sigh, but the awkwardness remained. Silence fell for a while.

“It smells good,” Julius finally said.

“Yeah…”

They both looked at a house on the side of the street. They heard a voice call out “Dinner time!” from within.

“It’s a mommy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“…I wonder how my mommy’s cooking smelled.”

The silver-haired boy tried to remember his mother, who had passed away when he was five.

His blond brother stopped in his tracks.

“That’s weird…” Ludger added. “I don’t remember anything.”

Sharp pain coursed through Julius’ heart at the sight of his brother’s distant eyes as he was searching his memories.

Julius bit his lips. He knew that he was the one who had robbed his half-brother of his mother’s cooking… of her warmth.

Ludger’s mother—Claudia Il Kresnik—was the younger sister of Julius’ own mother Cornelia. She used to work as a maid for the Bakur family, who Julius had cut contact with a few years ago. After Cornelia’s death, Claudia had grown close to Julius’ father Bisley and became pregnant with Ludger, but for some reason, she had kept that fact hidden from everyone and gone into hiding, away from the Bakurs.

However, a few years ago, Julius ended up finding her in a town on the outskirts of Trigleph and discovered the existence of Ludger. Claudia mistook him for a Bakur henchman and believed that he was there to drag her and Ludger back. She turned her blade on him, and as a result… she lost her life. Julius was neither working for the Bakurs’ interests, nor had he intended to hurt her. It was a chance encounter. A tragedy born from a misunderstanding.

That day, Ludger, who had witnessed the incident, lost his memories from the shock. So there was no way he would remember the smell of his mother’s cooking.

However…

Julius knew. He knew the smell, and the taste, of her cooking—the cooking of the woman he had killed. The reason was that, as the son of Spirius CEO Bisley Karcsi Bakur, he had been taken care of by none other than Claudia in his youth. She used to cook for him, in his mother’s place.

When he came home hungry in the evening, he was greeted by lights in the kitchen and the smell of soup and grilled meat. Julius remembered how that smell made him even more hungry. He liked her smile when he told her it was delicious. Julius’ feelings about her were like a son adoring his mother, or maybe it was closer to a crush.

The memory of her face as she lunged at him to kill him came flooding back, and he quickly shut his eyes and grinded his teeth.

“Julius?”

He came back to the present when he heard Ludger call him. His brother’s face as he looked up to him reminded him of Claudia’s gentle expression when they were both at the Bakur house. The same silver hair. The same clear eyes.

“Your mother’s cooking, huh?”

The brothers did not hire a maid to take care of their home, so they usually ate out or brought back take-away. That food did not taste bad, but did not have that nostalgic smell nor the taste of ‘home.’

His little brother did not know anything.

“Let’s make a detour.”

“Where are we going?”

The place Julius was heading to was a big food market known for its tomato mascot.

#tales of xillia 2 #ludger will kresnik #julius will kresnik #yume translations #kresnik family

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 6 years ago

Text

Blame It on Your Beats (8)

Chapter Content: Fluff, mushy song.

Summary: A brush with the underworld leads you on a run, away from what was supposedly your normal life, with Bucky Barnes. You two do not seem to be in sync as Bucky tries to keep you alive, trying your best not to kill each other. Or that’s what you think you are doing.

Series: contains smut, adult content in there somewhere in the future chapters so please look at the chapter content and warnings before you proceed.

Chapter Warnings: none.

A/N: This series is written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s MK Writing Challenge. Thank you so much for hosting. I am having a lot of fun with the prompts. But I am clearly behind schedule. Eep! Thanks for being so patient!

Tags for this fic are open

MASTERLIST

“Babe.”

“Hmm?”

“What about them? Do they look like they're a thing?”

Yukio turned into the direction Sonic was staring in, taking in your figure dressed in pink shorts and a floral halter top, sitting on the rock by the shore with Bucky, who was dressed in a red Hawaii shirt and black lounge pants. Your hands were busy scribbling something on a similar notepad Yukio had seen you work with yesterday.

“-I don't…” she heard you saying, watching you scrunch your nose at your partner with an offended gasp.

“Y/N,” Bucky stated with such a determined tone, “you were snoring last night.”

“Oh yeah? Well, so were you. And don't get me started on your stomach growls, hon,” you responded, huffing and going back to the pages in your lap. “I told you to go have your dinner but no! Why listen to me? Let's keep the whales awake at night!” you practically sang, swinging your head to add the sarcastic effect.

“Oh, I did bring early breakfast,” he added, bringing forward the tray of oysters into his lap, making your features turn a shade paler with a painful ache.

“No,” you whispered, closing your eyes in defeat and inching away from Bucky, “Bucky, no.”

“What? They are delicious!” He stated, opening one with a small knife he took out of his pants, making you squirm visibly as you inched away a little more and he shifted towards you to show you the glossy, mushy insides as he moaned about how delicious they looked.

You whimpered as he scooped out the insides and gulped them down in one go, forcing you to get up and walk away from him when he wanted you to try one.

“Just try one, doll. You'll love it!”

“Get that sea blob away from me!”

A few seconds later, it is Bucky walking away from you as you had your right arm extended in his direction, a giant furry brown spider sitting on the back of your palm.

“But look at how cute he is! Bucky, come on, it's just a spider.”

“No, it's not cute! Nothing about this monster is cute. Get that thing away from me! Y/N, I swear on all the songs you love-”

Your shriek filled the air swirling from the sea around you as Bucky picked you up and kept a strong hold around your waist as he bent you sideways keeping your arms away from him all the while telling you to ‘shake that crawler away’ while you chortled, your face turning red from the gut aching laughter at the assassin's actions on seeing the spider.

Yukio turned back to her girl. “Aww! They sure look cute together!”

“Mnh, I'm not convinced,” Sonic muttered, entwining her fingers in Yukio's.

Bucky had kept his early morning busy when he had reluctantly left your peaceful, snoring side to contact Stark, fill him in about your progress, do a recon of the hotel’s estate and know about the whereabouts of the man who had threatened to kill you.

“His name is Dexter Ian Christenson. Ex seal. Used to be a shadow hunter for the military’s gory operations once. This guy is as sane as the American Psycho according to the last evaluation the force did before he was compelled to take early retirement. He hasn’t been seen since the incident. Almost like the guy just ghosted. But Friday did pick up the vehicle he had been using the night before through the street cams. A rental under one of Eton’s shadow companies. Has been sitting at the same spot since that man dirtied my facility. He is either gone underground or is searching for the OWL that Y/N so blatantly took away from right under his nose. You know what this means, Barnes.”

Of course, he knew what that meant. If Dexter was as balanced as Tony was painting him in his head, you had a target on your head the moment he had set his eyes on you. Bucky was not ruling out the possibility of him tracking you down in search for the OWL. But what ticked him the wrong way was the conversation you and Dexter had when you were trapped in the lab, his words still crisp inside Bucky’s mind from what all he had heard over the comms. That man had been playing with you and if Bucky had read him right, he would have been elated that you got away with his trophy, making him savour the chase before he hunted you down for his pleasure. The mere thought of him in your vicinity had been enough to snap the firewood into two in his flesh hand when he, Jamal’s husband Ryan and Yukio had offered to help Meera with the evening’s bonfire preparation.

“I will never forgive you for this,” you muttered under your breath.

“It’s just one night,” Bucky retorted, straightening his silver striped tie over the blue sheen shirt you gifted him before buttoning the jacket on his suit.

“And that is one entire anomaly waiting to be unfolded,” you announced, pointing at the pages on the bed, “but you’d rather take me to this stupid evening where I know no one and everyone who knows me probably thinks I’m insane.”

You cursed at the satin blue ribbon coming and going out of everywhere from your front to your back, clearly not a riddle you were happy to be wound up in.

“Come here,” he sighed, taking the ends of the ribbons from your hands and pressing them in his mouth as he loosened the complex mess you had created over the gown. His light touch worked around you to create a symmetrical satin web, before turning you around to tie it up in a nice bow at the back.

You admitted to yourself to be quite impressed by his work, at the same time wondering who else- and how many ‘elses’- he had worked this art on.

“You cannot just lock yourself up in the room like this. You’ve been sitting here for almost the entire day, Y/N. Take a break from the puzzle solving, would you? Enjoy a little.”

You took in one quick breath to calm your nerves that were worked up at the simple graze of his fingers on your bare back.

“I know you think I don’t know much about you, Bucky, but one week is enough to read into what any Avenger likes or dislikes. So, don’t play the ‘loosen up a little’ act with me,” you glared at his reflection in the mirror, catching his brazen blue off guard.

“I may be socially awkward but I’m not dumb,” you added, making Bucky take a mental note to not give away any weakness in front of you that you might use to torture him later. The spider had been enough for the next six months.

But try as you may, he was never going to admit that he wanted to keep you close, in a crowd, where there were low chances of Dexter coming for your head on.

“You’re right,” he confessed, “I’m not much of a people’s person either. But, I’d rather bear the crowd outside than you sulking at the pages, cursing whatever ancient ruler came up with the ways to encrypt their love letters for their better half.”

You were wounded by the open attack for a moment but suddenly shut your mouth at another thought. “You know, a love letter is a good theory, maybe I could find a method to-”

“Get out of the room before I burn down every piece of paper in here.”

Bucky’s eyes didn’t falter with the statement and as much as you wanted to spew that he wouldn’t burn a thousand-year-old manuscript, the warning in his eyes made move towards the door.

“Fine,” your words quaked as your back hit the wall instead of going out the open door, “but just so you know, I’m a very lousy dance partner.”

So much for the questionable feelings, I had begun to have last night, you thought to yourself.

How much of it was questionable and how much of you was lousy, you were about to find out tonight.

“No.”

“Yes! It’s a tradition!”

You looked at Louise with as much of respectful disapproval you could manage before she effortlessly shoved your whole being smack into Bucky’s towering form.

“Come on, now,” she shouted for everyone to hear, “all the couples dance around the bonfire to mark the beginning of the local new year and kiss each other to close the vows you take for the new beginning.”

“Yeah,” Sonic quipped, a smirk on her face, “nothing says ‘I love you’ better than dancing to some blood ritual for the island nation’s inhabitants.”

See! She is clearly the sensible one. And Meera! Where. Is. Meera?

“As much as I’d love to correct my wife,” Meera spoke from the bar, putting down her bourbon to come and take her beloved’s hand, “this one tradition is really sacred and goes back ages. It’d be really lovely if all you would join us.”

Well, there goes the sensible one, clearly smitten under the moon.

The soft music on the piano started. Libet’s delay.

“Is there anything you’re good at?” Bucky surmised with a smirk, clearly enjoying the pissed look on your features.

It would’ve felt nice to come back with all the things you were brilliant at but the mental exhaustion from overworking on cracking the ancient codes had taken a toll over you. So, without a word, you started to head towards the bar before Bucky’s hand caught you.

“Wai-Wait,” he pleaded, positioning you back in front of him, “sorry. Just...let me guide you.”

He patiently waited with his hand open for yours.

With the silent ocean breeze teasing your nerve ends, making you want to curl up in a familiar warmth somewhere beyond all that came with a deadline and a death threat, you glided your palm into his metal, while his flesh hand went across your waist, drawing you closer.

Your body was already beginning to absorb the glow he was emanating, relaxing you with a welcoming surprise.

“Just work your sway with mine,” his pink lips covered in between the dense stubble spoke near you, his scent engulfing you from everywhere.

You synchronised your footwork with his, the sway of your hips at the movement of his feet, the push of his flesh hand to twirl you, the pull of his metal to dip you as he came down from the dazed high, breathing in your form like his personal ecstasy. Every breath in his movement gradually trickled over you, wiping off the dark thoughts, taking away the tightness of your worked up muscles, nullifying the threat that lingered somewhere out there.

How could his presence do this to you?

How could someone make you feel so much at peace with yourself?

And like a high note to mark the end, the music stopped and a song of windchimes filled the air, Meera declaring it as the time to close your vows.

Your reluctant yet curious gaze looked at your partner for further guidance.

The thought was one delicious invitation; one beautiful wave of desire passing through your chest to cut the distance between the two of you and finally answer the question of what he would taste like.

His personal oceans were dark with the same wonderful temptation and you had no idea how much restraint it took on his part to not completely crash on to you. Instead, he planted his inquisitive lips on your cheeks, igniting the latent seabeds inside you like neon blood running through every flora and fauna lighting up the entire undiscovered ocean.

And just like that, the daze lifted up with the sudden explosion of hip-hop reverberating through the speakers around the bonfire; Zemo the redhead doing the honours of taking over as the DJ for the night.

Needless to say, I keep her in check

She was all bad-bad, nevertheless (yeah)

It truly was a shock for Bucky to watch you bop your head at the new tune, only later realising it was more of wonderment to see you glow under the fire lamps- the golden hues doing no justice to the subtle stare you were giving him- and sway your head like that.

Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck (wreck)

Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck (wreck)

Your heated body let go of the moderation, letting the tantalising feeling still on your cheeks work through your mind, swirling at the notes you were used to.

Needless to say, I keep her in check

She was all bad-bad, nevertheless

Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck

Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck

You took him by his hands, making Bucky raise his hands and sway to the rhythm like you were showing him.

Thinkin' in a bad way, losin' your grip

Screamin' at my face, baby don't trip

Someone took a big L, don't know how that felt

Lookin' at you sideways, party on tilt

You were howling, completely letting the beats take over your senses, everything a sparkling blur. Everything except the stunning blue staring at you through the crinkled corners.

Ooh-ooh, some things you just can't refuse

She wanna ride me like a cruise and I'm not tryna lose

Bucky had no idea of his own happiness was bursting through his heart on watching you like this, his curious and appalled eyes never leaving your jumping figure.

Then you're left in the dust unless I stuck by ya

You're a sunflower, I think your love would be too much

Or you'll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya

You're the sunflower, you're the sunflower

“I told you I’m a lousy dance partner! I never said I was bad at dancing on my own.”

Your giggles filled the air while the cool sand under your feet made you shiver as you walked down the shore.

Bucky was quick to cover you up in his suit jacket as a laugh found its way out of him.

“Haha. For a second there I thought you were possessed or something,” he mentioned before bursting into giggles at his own joke.

“Hah!” you mocked a laugh back.

“Okay, I admit. I never saw you as someone with such...moves,” Bucky muttered, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah. The whole not knowing how to swim thing really threw you off balance, didn’t it, darling?”

Bucky licked his lips and smiled at you.

“You really surprise me, you know. In a good way,” he sighed, his hands in his pocket, his arms casually colliding into yours as you swayed with the lingering effects of the music and just a tiny bit of alcohol.

“Yeah?” you questioned his statement, “even after I nearly took you down yesterday in my anger right on this beach somewhere?”

Bucky’s uncontrollable laughter boomed around you, filling you up with the most pleasant heat in your cheeks on watching him like this.

“Oh yeah, right. You-” he tried to dam his laughter now and then but failed miserably- “you...yeah you definitely took me down. It scared the hell out of me. My life definitely flashed before my eyes. What? I swear on...on...umm...yes! I swear on that constellation I was scared.”

You poked him with your elbow. “Don’t destroy my constellation, you dweeb!”

“Aw, doll,” he enunciated, tilting his head in sympathy, “for all we know that constellation is dead already. Your love letters would be older than this.”

You scoffed before rerunning that thought inside your head, your pace slowing down a little.

“I’m sure I’m outliving them by some margin right now,” he added, walking ahead before realising you were not beside him.

Bucky turned around and found you with a lost expression hovering over your face. “Y/N?” he called out your name but all he got was a silent stare that passed through him into some invisible void.

“Call Tony,” you announced to him with a whisper, “now.”

Within seconds Tony was on the other end, wondering what trouble you two were running into.

“The order of the constellation they worshipped,” was all you said into the phone. And like some unspoken arrangement, Bucky heard Tony call Friday to mark the constellation in the sky during the time OWL was created and asked her to mark the translations you had done for him to be lined in that order.

Two minutes of killing silence later, you hear Tony give out a curse.

“What? Did it work? Tony! Did it work?” your trembling voice called out in urgency to him.

“Y/N,” Tony announced, “do you realise you just discovered a new element made by the old-timey folks?”

The amount of air you wanted to take in could not fit into your lungs as your wide eyes locked with Bucky before jumping up in muted joy.

“Good work, kiddo. Banner will love this.”

For the life of you, you could not find it in yourself to stay on your feet as Bucky got infected by your goofy smile before you finally landed in his arms.

“See!” you giggled close to his face as he chucked you up into the air, “I am good at stuff. This time you helped but I am good at stuff!”

Bucky chortled at your words dripping in victory as he swung you around a bit recklessly, making you scream and wrap your arms around his neck in a secure lock.

And to catch your breaths, your foreheads came together to rest in a symphony, your thumping chests marring the air with the heat they were radiating, your wide grins slowly melting into hints of a smile as the heaviness of this tantalization struck your chords.

You took the liberty to move your fingers at the back of Bucky’s neck through his hair while your parting forehead made you bring your lips forward to his in the heat of the moon grazing his glistening pale skin in contrast to his stubble and those heavily painted lips in the colours of morbid curiosity.

Suddenly the music started over again in the lawn somewhere in the background unbeknown to the two lost souls that were you and Bucky.

I know you're scared of the unknown (-known)

You don't wanna be alone (alone)

I know I always come and go (and go)

But it's out of my control

You wanted a confirmation from him before you could allow yourself to lose your existence in his silver ocean that was anything if not inviting you inside the deep waters.

And you'll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya

You're a sunflower, I think your love would be too much

Bucky’s thoughts were a mess as soon as your eyes picked on his pulsating lips. The caged enchanted essence driving itself through the roof at the first whiff of your hot nerves vaporizing your delicious scent. And just as you asked him without any words, he tightened his grip on you, driving your already close body closer to him before meeting your lips.

Or you'll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya

You're the sunflower, you're the sunflower, yeah

The supple clash sent stars all through your body that were exploding as they passed every layer of you.

You and Bucky closed your eyes and got lost in the big bang of your making at the edge of the ocean.

Continued here

TAGLIST

Permanent

@magiclolipopqueen @choke-me-sweet-pea @smexylemony @hazzastyles2471 @lokis-lady-death @lokixme @l0kisbitch @tarithenurse @hiddlestonstansworld @itheoneofmanyfandomsi @nalokoniloki @fuckidontknow @qualitynerdwasteland @cryinglots @unipanda1006 @literalangels @meganlikesfandoms @kcd15

BIOYB

@klmpun

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #marvel #marvel fluff #fluff

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misssophiachase · 6 years ago

Photo

I'm so excited about the Jodice cons coming up this year, I felt the need to write a little FF based on them (kill me if it's more than 10 parts) leading up to June.

Synopsis: Actors Candice Accola and Joseph Morgan don't like each other at first but being forced to act together means they can't avoid the simmering attraction developing behind the scenes. Fast forward 8 years and they're due to appear in two fan conventions but given all the baggage and unresolved issues things aren't going to run as smoothly as organisers would hope.

Give Me Love

Part 1: Hello

“They say that time's supposed to heal you...But I ain't done much healing.”

June - 2019 - Los Angeles CA

What exactly do you say to the person who can see straight through you?

That was Candice's biggest challenge ahead of Bloody Night Con in seven days, not that she was counting. She hadn't seen Joseph in eighteen months and although he continued to plague her thoughts, at least she didn't have to actually converse with him. Talk about awkward if she did.

Hello and how are you didn't seem to cut it after all they'd been through together and apart the past eight years.

It was a cool, grey afternoon in Los Angeles, Candice was stretched out in the love seat by her window nursing a cup of herbal tea. In fact, it was French Earl Grey, something Joseph had introduced into her diet all those years ago. Something she couldn't quite let go of yet. If any ex-boyfriend had given or introduced her to anything it would find itself in the closest garbage bin straight after the break-up.

With him it was different.

The Chelsea FC jersey he gifted her still hung in the wardrobe (even though she supported Arsenal just to annoy him), his first edition copy of Great Expectations and the sketches he did while they holidayed in Saint Barts were housed in the den and the remnants of Acqua Di Gio hidden away in the bathroom cabinet.

Most people would put that down to forgetfulness. After all, you can't be expected to remember everything left over during a break-up. But Candice knew every single item and where they were, she just didn't want to part with them. Hence why Joseph Morgan was scattered all throughout her apartment to this day, not that she advertised the fact for obvious reasons.

She fingered the silver, antique locket around her neck. It was the last remaining piece of him and she liked to wear it close to her heart when she was alone. Not all the time but in moments of reflection. They were picnicking in Tuscany, their May birthdays only a few weeks apart, soaking up the wine, pasta and sunshine during a break in filming. He'd plucked the gift from what seemed like thin air, housed in a white box with a royal, blue ribbon. Her favourite colour.

The locket's exterior was flawless but the best was yet to come. She could still remember how he laid her against his chest as the sun set over the hills and told her the story of his grandparents who were split apart during the war and how they came back to each other again stronger and even more in love. The fact he'd placed their faded, black and white picture next to theirs in the locket was enough to cause a few tears and a thank you that lasted quite a few subsequent days in their hotel room.

He never asked for it back and Candice was glad he didn't. Maybe it was selfish but it just meant too much to return.

She picked up her phone, scrolling through her social media feed as she did so often. Candice knew that looking at her twitter feed was never a good idea. If she wanted a reminder of her relationship with Joseph it was plastered across her timeline on a daily basis. Granted the photos were either scenes they shared from the shows or creative fan edits but they all stirred the same feelings inside.

Candice didn't want to but she missed him. Still. She was happy his latest directorial foray into film had been such a success. If there was something Candice knew it was how good he was at directing people, she'd been one of his star performers in the bedroom after all.

Looking back, Candice would never forget the first time they met at the Craft Services table on set. It was season two of The Vampire Diaries and his character was cast as the big bad and from what Candice knew they wouldn't really have any scenes together but it didn't stop her from thinking he was all sorts of cute with that accent and those dimples.

February - 2011 - Atlanta, GA

"Did the new guy smirk at you?" Candice asked Kat earnestly.

They were in wardrobe after lunch break and she couldn't stop thinking about the way Joseph had been looking at her while they spoke. They'd just met so she thought it was strange, not to mention a little rude. Just because he had a gorgeous accent and lips the colour of deep crimson didn't give him the right to think he was God's greatest gift. Although Ian was an exact and nauseating replica of that, so why should she be surprised?

"I think he has a name, Candice." Kat mumbled from the corner where she was changing her top behind the makeshift screen.

"That's not the point."

"What do you mean smirk? He's always been perfectly polite and professional with me. What did he say anyway?"

"Wished me good afternoon and then I asked him how he's finding everything on set given he's just come onboard." They'd been shooting for the better part of the morning and the hungry hordes had made their way to the craft services table absolutely famished. Her eyes were firmly focused on the sushi, Candice was pretty certain she could have finished the entire plate on her own.

"Sounds pretty inoffensive, maybe that's just the way he smiles at people, did you ever think that?" Kat asked, finally emerging from changing her clothes for the next scene and looking at her curiously.

"You didn't see it, Kat," she sighed. "It was almost like..."

"He was trying not to laugh?"

"Excuse me?" Kat let out a giggle, moving closer and wiping her face with a tissue she'd swiped from the nearby table. "What are you doing?"

"You, uh, have some rice on your cheek," she smiled, knowingly.

"What?" She asked rubbing her face, slightly mortified.

"Seems like someone was trying to hide that fact and obviously it took the form of a smirk." Candice went from completely embarrassed to annoyed in seconds. How dare he do that?

"The least he could have done was say something rather than embarrass me like that in front of the cast and crew," she muttered.

"You just met the guy, he probably thought it wasn't polite to call you out about food on your face. It doesn't make for the easiest first conversation."

"Yet instead he was secretly laughing at me," she growled. "You know, I'm just happy that we don't have any scenes together because I'm not sure I could stand that smirk and those dimples from such a close proximity."

"Sounds like someone was paying an awful lot of attention to someone's dimples," she grinned. Candice didn't respond just busied herself for the next scene.

From then Candice made it her mission to steer clear of the new guy, until it became almost impossible to avoid him. That's what you got for being on a hit TV show and having to do publicity together. And there was no bigger publicity opportunity than the annual Comic Con in San Diego.

July - 2011 - San Diego, CA

This wasn't her first Comic Con, so it was going to be easy right? But apparently the powers above in the network decided to invite him along for the first time. Candice was generally very welcoming but she still wasn't quite sure what to think of their newest cast member.

Given he was pretty much the most evil character to hit the Vampire Diaries in its entire run so far, no one was expecting such a frenzied reception. Turns out a lot of the girls there seemed to have a thing for the bad guy. Candice really should have known.

She found herself looking across at Joseph at the signing table, his dark, blonde hair curled over his ears and that grey, fitted t-shirt highlighting his toned chest. He didn't scrub up too badly and it seemed like the screaming legions of female fans wholeheartedly agreed. Ever since their first meeting all those months ago they'd barely had any interaction, mainly because they didn't share any scenes.

After the craziness of 5000 screaming fans at the panel earlier in the day and a never ending number of interviews it was time for the after party, an opportunity to let loose and really enjoy themselves. Given they were all staying in the same hotel it seemed normal that they made their way together however for some reason it was just him and her crossing the street while surrounded by screaming photographers.

Candice was trying not to stare at just how adorable he looked in that suit while making sure her strapless, aqua dress was still in place as they walked brusquely to avoid the cameras. If there was one thing she knew about Joseph from their day at Comic Con it was just how overwhelmed he seemed to be around the press. For Candice it was actually refreshing given how arrogant some actors could be. Maybe she'd misjudged him?

One of the photographers got too close, knocking her slightly and Joseph reached forward without thinking. His hand grazed her lower back and Candice felt herself shiver slightly. "Are you okay, love?"

"Um, yeah, thanks," she mumbled, her gaze cast downwards. "It's uh just a little cold." She cursed inwardly thinking what a lame excuse it was. The one thing Candice knew without a doubt was that 90 degrees on a Summer night in San Diego wasn't in the least bit cold and she was sure he was aware of that fact.

"If I had a jacket I'd give it to you," he promised choosing to ignore her lie, steering her towards their destination. Maybe it wasn't the best look given the press would misconstrue anything but right now she didn't give a damn, it felt far too good having his hand on her back.

"Nice to see chivalry isn't completely dead," she smirked, and by his expression he couldn't miss the sarcastic tone in her voice.

"Is there something I'm missing?" Joseph murmured, trying to avoid the inquisitive stares of the reporters loitering close by. "You realise I'm a gentleman, right?"

"A gentleman who doesn't tell a girl she has rice stuck to her cheek?"

"I didn't want to be rude," he insisted, his cheeks colouring slightly with embarrassment. She'd never admit it aloud but it was pretty cute.

"Trust me, Morgan, a girl needs to know these things even if she barely knows you."

"Noted, Accola," he grinned.

"Um, we're here," she said, gesturing towards the hotel where the party was being held. "You can let go of me now." As soon as Candice said it she regretted it as he lifted his hand from her lower back. She gave him a thankful smile and breezed into the party like the professional actress she was. But she'd be lying if she couldn't still feel the residual heat on her back.

October - 2011 - Atlanta, GA

"Social media is going to go nuts," Candice murmured, laying herself out on the bed. "You know if it's anything like the response from you putting your hand on my back at Comic Con in July."

"I was only trying to protect you," he replied, flashing her one of his winning smiles.

They were currently at the Forbes house ready to film their second ever scene together. Candice would be lying if it wasn't a big moment for her. She'd always been able to hide her attraction for him because they didn't share any scenes, well until now that was. Now she had to be in close proximity and in a bed of all things. She wasn't quite sure what the writers were getting at given she'd been so hot and heavy with Michael's character Tyler lately.

"Funnily enough I didn't need protection and we both know that," she smirked. "I really should have known Klaus would order Tyler to bite me only to ride in on his horse and save the day."

"I think you've misjudged Klaus, he really can be a nice guy," he offered, winking in her direction. "Speaking of which, I better go wrangle my horse in anticipation."

Candice would be lying if she didn't think he was cute. She'd been so quick to write him off as one of your typical, egotistical actors she came across daily (not naming any names of course) but he had this adorable wit that she couldn't quite resist. Ever since he'd placed his hand on her back in July she'd been a little distracted by those lips and those damn dimples too.

Candice was an actor first and foremost and the scene played out exactly as planned but she couldn't deny just how good it felt to have his body pressed up against hers in bed as she pretended to drink from his wrist. His chest seemed so much more toned than she'd imagined and the smell of his spicy aftershave was definitely causing a few foreign feelings to take over. It was all done in one take, unheard of but Candice knew their underlying chemistry had definitely played its part in creating such a perfect scene.

"Don't worry I'm not counting," he smiled rising from the bed, as the crew moved away in preparedness for the next scene.

"I'm sorry?"

"You know the number of times I've saved you."

"Oh p-uh-lease," she groaned, rolling her eyes as she did. Candice was finding it more and more difficult not to act on her burgeoning feelings for him and she secretly hoped they got more time to spend with each other on set as an excuse.

TBC...On FF HERE

Fun Real Life Fact: Joseph first saw Candice at the craft services table with rice on her face

#give me love #misssophiachase #klaroline fan fiction #jodice #klaroline

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nth-generation-kpop · 6 years ago

Text

So Nothing’s Left Unturned

Word count: ~1800 Chapter 2/? AU Summary: Bang Chan is dense, Kim Woojin is soft, and Han Jisung Knows. What's. Up.

Chapter II: Flaws

At first he was clueless.

Chan’s arms were wrapped around Woojin, his face buried in Woojin’s shoulder as the other boy laughed. “Channie, that's so great! Now some poor bastard is gonna be sent over here to bring you coffee instead.”

“God, I don’t ever have to balance 12 cups of coffee at once again. Or kick the elevator button because my hands are full. Or bring that idiot Park a croissant because ‘he switched to tea.’” Woojin rubbed his back and Chan let his eyes fall closed for a second. He felt such an incredible sense of relief.

“Slow down there, you've still got 2 months of summer left,” Woojin cautioned, pulling away and causing Chan to take a step back and realize he was full on koala bear-ing the poor guy.

“Yeah, they said they'd start training me on some stuff early though. Ease me in, let me do some shadowing. Plus I'll be training the new guys!”

He must have looked… mischievous, because Woojin’s expression turned disapproving. “You know if those kids show up and talk about what an asshole Bang Chan is I'm gonna get the dirt and then tell them all the embarrassing stories about you.”

“Fiiine, I'll be nice,” Chan said, winking.

Woojin paused. “Hey, so you should let me take you out for coffee sometime. To celebrate.”

Chan wrinkled his nose. “Don’t you get tired of coffee?”

Woojin smirked. “Well, I could take you to dinner instead, if you'd prefer?”

“No, no no no,” Chan replied quickly, shaking his head. “That’s too much, I was just teasing. Here, or…?”

“Not here, no the guys would never let me live that down. How about that place on 6th Avenue, by the College of Pharmacy building?”

“Yeah, okay!” Chan looked down at his phone, noting the time. “I've gotta get back, but text me about the time and stuff. Thursday’s your day off right?”

“Yep, does that work?”

It was Chan’s turn to flash a suave smile. “I can make it work. I'll see you Thursday.”

If Chan would have been paying attention, if he wasn't dense and perhaps a touch sleep deprived, he might have noticed the pink in Woojin’s cheeks.

He didn't.

~~~~~

Over the next week. Chan found himself looking forward to Thursday. Thinking about Thursday. Planning out Thursday. Just generally being excited about Thursday.

He'd have to go into work a little early and stay later than normal, but his bosses gladly granted him two hours off in the afternoon. To be honest he hadn't spent much one-on-one time with Woojin-- he was a little nervous. It was easy being in the cafe together because they were always caught up in the banter and the joking and the laughing that was almost constant with all the other boys-- Woojin was going to realize that Chan was actually pretty shy and not very funny. His horrible dad jokes and innuendos would come off abrasive and uncomfortable if they were alone. It's not that Chan wasn't a genuine person, he was just... anxious. In fact the more he thought about Thursday the more anxious he got-- partially the fear of messing things up and partially the fear of being truly himself around someone he admired. Thursday began to loom ominously ahead of him.

Chan’s closest friends tended to be his oldest friends. He didn’t make friends easily and he simply couldn’t bring himself trust new people. He got himself so worked up about things that he’d said, things they said, and his mind would take over. He would replay conversations in his head only to think up ways they could have been better, things he could have said that would be smoother or less embarrassing or more interesting. With his longtime friends he had overtime been able to take most of the pressure off, mostly by reinforcing over and over again how he didn’t have to be interesting and smooth and not embarrassing around them. And when he did backslide, they’d freely offer the sort of validation that was exactly what he needed.

But new people were hard, and Woojin was new, and that made everything messy. Chan really liked him, really really liked him. It would have been much easier if Woojin was just a cute, funny barista; but he was sweet and kind and caring as well. He asked Chan about his day, fussed over him a bit on extra stressful days, and genuinely tried to take care of Chan where he could. It was a strange feeling, being taken care of by a friend, as Chan was the friend who took care of everybody. Sometimes he felt like he held the weight of them all on his shoulders, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything-- in turn, they held him up as well. Kim Woojin was refreshing in a way that Chan hadn’t experienced before, and he was terrified of fucking it up.

That’s why he latched on to none other than Han Jisung on Thursday.

“Hey, I haven’t told you. Uh, if you need me this afternoon I’ll have my phone on me, but I have to be out of here at 11:50 until about 2. I’m meeting a friend or coffee,” Chan told Jisung, sitting on the empty desk beside the high schooler.

“Oooh, a boyfriend?” Jisung replied, wiggling his eyebrows as he sorted through a giant stack of papers. Ahh, the joys of internship clerical duties.

“Haha, no.” Chan deadpanned. “Just a friend. You might have met him if they’ve sent you to get coffee over at Rosetta? Kim Woojin?”

Jisung smirked. “They don’t send me to get coffee anymore. One time I dropped an entire tray in the BYG lobby. Right on someone’s expensive fancy leather shoes. He kicked up a fuss and so… yeah I sort papers now when I’m not shadowing.”

“How… how did I not hear about that?” Chan demanded.

“I may have told you I spilled one coffee… at the time. Shut up, I was embarrassed. I do know a Kim Woojin who goes here. A writer? Blonde, about yea high” Jisung gestured vaguely.

“Yeah, that sounds like my Woojin. You met him at the coffee shop?”

Jisung frowned. “No, I’ve never actually seen him there. We met last summer in a writing class, he was kind of a mentor.”

“Thursdays are his days off so I guess that makes sense.”

“It’s too bad, I really liked him. We lost touch after the class, but we used to just sit around and write together. He’s fun.”

“Do you, uh, want to come? Get coffee with us? We’re celebrating, I got the internship position for next year so I’ll be actually making music and learning from the people here.”

“Chan, that’s so great! Yeah, I’d love to come! Do you think he’ll mind?”

Chan considered it for a moment before shaking his head. Woojin was pretty easy going, Chan figured he’d actually be happy to see the high schooler once again. Woojin was just... like that. Plus, Jisung would keep the mood lighter. Chan wouldn’t have to worry about one-on-one time or making a fool of himself because Jisung had the habit of playing everything off as a joke. He was like the other baristas-- yes, Jisung is exactly what he needed. The anxiety in his stomach dissipated a bit; and while he knew he would still replay all the conversations in his head and mentally smack himself for this or that, he’d be more calm in the moment. Less panic meant less embarrassment which meant less retrospective horror. This was good.

He grabbed Jisung before he left and they headed around the corner to the cafe they were meeting Woojin at. Jisung asked why they wouldn’t just go to Rosetta and Chan brushed the comment off, saying Woojin probably just wanted a change in scenery. When they arrived, the genuine surprise in Woojin’s eyes made Chan smile. He was totally caught off guard, and after shooting a confused look at Chan, his normal smile fell back into place and he pulled Jisung in for a warm hug. Everything went so smooth, and having Jisung around kept a lot of the attention off him. The mixture of celebrating, Woojin and Jisung catching up, and them all exchanging stories was easy and comfortable and perfect.

By the time Jisung left, Chan was confident and calm enough that he only felt little flutters in his stomach-- no shaking hands, no racing mind. It was a good sign. Maybe Woojin’s smile was a little more tight-lipped than normal, and maybe Jisung jokingly texted him ‘dude did you invite me on your date????’ and a bunch of laughing emojis; but Chan put that all out of his mind and considered it a success. It definitely wasn’t a date, that’s for sure. His social anxiety gave him a one-up on other people, and usually he was the one over interpreting social cues. Still, he went to sleep that night thinking yeah, it might be nice to date Kim Woojin one day. Maybe that was in the cards for him.

~~~~~

Kim Woojin 4:21pm … You didn’t crash anything per say, I really enjoyed seeing you But yes, you kinda did crash our date which means he didn’t think it was a date. Which is awkward.

Han Jisung 4:22pm :( sorry hyung…. but maybe u should ask him point blank if he likes u?

Kim Woojin 4:24pm You’re cute, it’s okay if he doesn’t like me! I’m fine with it, we’ll just be friends.

Han Jisung 4:24pm BUT WHAT IF HE DOES LIKE U AND HES JUST DENSE

Kim Woojin 4:25pm He doesn’t, you know he doesn’t. You were there on our not-date. He’s not interested and that’s okay

Han Jisung 4:25pm But… :(

Kim Woojin 4:25pm There’s other fish in the sea. They may not have those dimples but I’m gonna have to settle Seriously, it was really good seeing you kid. Let me know when you’re going to be here again

Han Jisung 4:27pm Okay hyung, if you insist ;) I missed you, it felt like old times

Kim Woojin 4:27pm You’re the silver lining for the train wreck that was today Can you… not tell anybody about it? I’m a little embarrassed…

Han Jisung 4:28pm My lips are sealed!!

Kim Woojin 4:29pm Thanks, have a good train ride home, text me when you get there safe

Han Jisung 4:30pm <3<3<3

Read on AO3

#stray kids #skzwriters #stray kids AU #woochan #stray kids fic #bastille lyrics AU #chapter two!! its finally here #not edited so give me a break <3

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themisadventuresofcando · 6 years ago

Text

Life #13 - Adventure Time

Character Sheet

Face Claim:

Basic

Name: Carmencita

Pronunciation: Car-Men-SEE-Tuh

Meaning: Little Song

Nicknames: Carmen, Angel

Name Origins:

Carmen: Shortened from Carmencita

Angel: A little nickname Finn gave me in reference to my position and the fact that I tend to wear mostly white

Aliases: Meadow Princess

Alias Origin: I wear a lot of flowers and at the time I didn't want anyone to know who I really was so…

Titles: Emissary of Life, Princess of Life

Orientation: Heterosexual

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Date of Birth: Pre-Mushroom War

Star Sign: ??? (What is a star sign? Is it something humans used to do? I didn’t pay much attention to them before the Mushroom War...)

Birth Flower: Lotus or Daffodil (I happen to think they relate to my life)

Meaning: They Both Mean Life and Rebirth

Birthstone: Aquamarine

Meaning: Good Health (Especial during long travels or on the sea)

Species: Our species doesn’t have a name as there are only three of us in existence (some would call us angels and others reapers)

Affiliation: The Kingdom of Samsara

Social Status: Crown Princess (I may be younger, technically speaking, but I suppose I’m more level headed)

Representation: Life, Birth, and Rebirth

Dead?: I suppose we all die someday...

How?: Hmm… I wouldn’t know our names aren’t in our books (though they might be in fathers)

Death Date: ???

Last Words: ”Dying is the one thing I’ve never done… How exciting!”

Appearance

How Old They Appear: 16 (though I could choose to appear any age)

Eye Color: Deep Blue

Glasses/Contacts: N/A

Skin Tone: Pale (which is odd as I’m in the sun quite a bit)

Hair Color: White

Hair Length: Hip Length

Hair Type: Straight

Hairstyle: Loose Messy Ponytail (Good for Adventuring) or Pinned to One Side and Curled

Height: 5’1 (As Marcy likes to point out I’m an ”itty bitty thing”)

Piercings: N/A (I’m a bit of klutz and I’m afraid they'd get caught)

Tattoos: N/A

Scars: N/A

Birthmarks: Lotus Symbol on Left Side of Ribs

Other: I tend to bruise pretty easy so there's probably a couple of those on my legs and arms

Wardrobe

Style: Girly, Floral, Mostly White with Splashes of Color

Favorite Outfit: White Overall Dress, White Loose Long Sleeved Shirt, White Thigh High Stocking with White Bows on The Front, White High Top Sneakers with Pink Flowers on The Sides, White Flower Crown

Casual Outfit: White Knit Sweater, Pink Lotus Print Skirt, Plain White Thigh High Stockings, White and Pale Pink Flower Crown

Sleepwear: Short Sleeve Mid Thigh Length White Nightgown

Winter Outfit: White Hooded Dress Coat with Light Brown Fur Trim and Bear Ears, Knit Thigh High Stockings, White Knee High Boots with White Fur Trim and White Pom Poms, White Knit Fingerless Gloves with Knitted Flower, White Flower Crown

Formal Outfit: White Asymmetrical Long Spaghetti Strap Dress, White Rhinestone Floral Flats, White Elbow Length Floral Gloves, White and Light Pink Flower Crown, Silver and Diamond Floral Tiara

Accessories: Flower Crowns

Scent: Sugar and Lotus Flowers

Relationships

Mother/Mother Figure: N/A

Relationships: My sister and I were created purely by our father

Father/Father Figure: King Thanatos

Relationships:

My father is a very strict man and doesn't tend to show his affection often. It is for a very good reason as he is not only king but in charge of the entire cycle of life, death, and rebirth and must follow strict rules or very bad things could happen. One slight misstep could throw the whole world off balance. As such he is very strict with us to make us follow those rules. He does love us, he just shows it through much smaller actions then he does with larger affections or words. He will frequently leave us little gifts in our rooms when we’ve been away a particularly long time or give us breaks away from what we do if we experience a particularly “rough patch” (in my case either preventing ‘wrong’ births or a lack of births and in Olivia’s incredibly frequent deaths). Our father is not an emotional man but we’ve been with him so long we can tell how he feels through the slightest of changes. Most particularly when his frown is a little deeper and he looks a little older it means that he is sad or disappointed that he must punish us for breaking a rule whether it was knowingly or unknowingly. Usually, after this, we also get a small break to recuperate as punishments are quite severe fitting the severity of breaking the rules. I love my father more than anything despite his lack of affection because I don't need him to show how much he loves hs to know he does.

Brothers/Brother Figures: Jake the Dog

Relationships:

Jake is quite the funny dog and very helpful too. I usually go to him for advice instead of Olivia because she is quite bleak about everything. He is much more balanced, not too pessimistic and not too optimistic and it helps me think things through more to hear it put in such a way (even if it doesn't always make sense). I particularly like to cook or garden with him as I always end up laughing too hard by the end of it. He gets really concerned whenever I tag along on adventures because I don’t tend to want to fight the creatures and can very easily get hurt because I won’t defend myself. He is frequently the one arguing against my going with him and Finn and is usually the one who ends up having to patch me up. I shouldn’t but I find it very funny when he freaks out the way he does as he usually over exaggerates and overreacts. He is also usually the first or second to freak when I get kidnapped by Ice King and won’t hesitate to rush to my rescue like the loyal friend he is. I do consider him one of the closest friends I’ve ever had. I suppose that's why I’ve befriended a few of his past lives as well.

Sisters/Sister Figures: Princess Olivia, Marceline the Vampire Queen

Relationships:

Olivia tends to look down on my befriending of people through their lifetimes. She thinks it hurts me to have to start our relationships all over again even if insist otherwise. I know it’s just because she’s looking out for me and she wants me to be happy but she needs to start worrying about her own problems instead of pushing them away to deal with me. Outside of that the only other thing we fight about are near death experiences. She hates them because they’re a complete toss-up as to which one of us is needed but I think it’s exciting so I usually have to stop her from just ending it for them. She thinks its a waste of time waiting to find out if they’ll die and go to her or be reborn, in a sense, and go to me. Outside of these arguments, we get along quite well. It isn’t as if we talk to each other about everything or know everything about each other it’s more that we trust each other enough that we would feel comfortable telling each other anything even if we don’t. We know just what to say to each other and we can read each other with just a few looks. Olivia usually knows the difference between when I’m really happy or when I’m forcing myself to be but even she makes mistakes, after all, I’ve had centuries of practice. I know one thing that aggravates her about me (as it does everyone else) is my refusal to fight to the point of not fighting back when being attacked unless I deem it absolutely necessary. We are definitely more affectionate toward one another than our father is toward us and I am definitely the most affectionate out of the three of us by a long shot.

Marcy is an odd case, to say the least. She is both alive and dead yet neither! It’s very confusing but also quite exciting! I suppose that’s why Liv is dating her. Though another reason might be that she is immortal and she won’t ever have to worry about losing her to old age. Marcy is really laid back and is very fun to hang out with. Her pranks are very amusing and her music very entertaining. She has been trying to teach me to play guitar and so far I’ve managed to learn a few chords but I have a wandering mind sometimes and it can be hard to teach. I like to join in on her pranks (especially those against Bubblegum) and, according to Marceline, I have a very creative mind to “put our pranks over the edge of hilarity”. I don’t spend as much time with her as Olivia (they are dating) but I would say we are pretty close.

Current Guardian: King Thanatos

Relationship:

Father actually doesn’t watch over us much as we all have our own duties to attend to but I do love him very much.

Current Significant Other: Finn the Human

Relationship:

Finn is very awkward and very sweet. He gets very flustered around girls and just doesn’t understand how to talk to them. He doesn’t understand how his actions can affect others at first. He is very kind and very loyal to those he cares about and would do absolutely anything to put a smile on their face. Finn apparently (according to Jake) had a crush on me for a while before he plucked up the courage to confess his feelings to me and had planned out this whole adventure that went awry to do it. Even though the whole thing went topsy-turvy Finn still managed to confess, though it was completely out of frustration and by accident. Finn has always been quite protective of me and it increased quite a bit when we started dating. He always looks out for me and “scopes the area for bad guys” and he has a habit of trying to show off to impress me even though he already does that by just being him. Olivia claims that we are so cute it’s disgusting but I tend to ignore her as I’m very happy with our relationship. Finn, like Jake, tends to overreact and over exaggerate when I get hurt or kidnapped or something of that nature, which I find a bit odd considering he’s usually all for me joining in on adventures which directly cause those things to happen to me most of the time. Of course, as with Jake, I have met Finn’s past lives and have befriended them in the past and fallen for a few as well. He always seems to draw me no matter who he is. It’s sad to watch them die, as I know everyone is meant to someday, but I find solace when I get to meet them again in their next life even if they do not know me anymore. I have loved Finn for a very long time and I suppose I always will.

People

Mentors: King Thanatos, Marceline

Advisor: Jake the Dog

Confidant: Jake the Dog

Teammates: King Thanatos, Princess Olivia

Friends: Olivia, Marceline, Jake, Lady Rainicorn, Ice King

Best Friend: Olivia

Love Interest: Finn the Human

Rivals: Olivia

Enemies: The Lich, Princess Bubblegum

Person Hated Most: Princess Bubblegum

Most Important Person: Olivia

Awkward Around: Princess Bubblegum

Admires: King Thanatos

Past

Hometown: The Land of OOO

Childhood: I didn’t really have one considering I was never really a child.

Childhood Hero: King Thanatos

Most Important Memory: Helping someone be born for the first time

Worst Memory: Stopping someone's birth for the first time

Present

Current Location: The Land of OOO

Living With: King Thanatos and Princess Olivia

Occupation: Princess of Life

Pets: Elephant named Lotus

Health

General Health: I don’t get sick unless someone curses me or if someone messes with the balance to stop births

Reason: Magic

Mental Health: Okay

Reason: My entire life

Sleep Habits: Very Light Sleeper

Diet: Vegetarian

Exercise: I run/walk around every day

Allergies: N/A

Injuries: N/A

Disorders: N/A

Deformity: N/A

Disabilities: N/A

Mutations: N/A

Handicaps: N/A

Medication: N/A

Abilities

List of Powers/Abilities: Bring people into the world, Help people who are reborn adjust to life, Prevent Births, Invisibility, Teleportation, Flying

Origin: Creation

Elements: Life

Alternate Forms: N/A

Strengths: Invisibility, Evasion, Hiding, Teleportation, Manipulation

Weaknesses: Fighting, Stopping Births, Watching Deaths

Restrictions: Stamina

Immunities: N/A

Personality

Good Traits: Sweet, Optimistic, Kind, Cheery, Generous, Observant, Very Good Memory, Smart, Clever, Pacifist, Loyal

Bad Traits: Stubborn, Childish, Hides Negative Emotions, Forces Self to be Happy to Optimistic Even When I’m Not, Holds Grudges, Can Be Manipulative (only if I have to be… I don’t like it), Won’t Defend Self

Neutral Traits: Soft Spoken, Curious, Dreamy

Likes: Dresses, Skirts, Flowers, Elephants, White, Friends, Pancakes, Cooking, Gardening, Sleeping, Crystals, Painting, Baking, Music, Ice Skating

Dislikes: Dark Colors, Bugs, Fire, Princess Bubblegum, Playing with The Balance, Waking Up

Pet Peeves: Leaving things in the sink when you can clean them, Stepping on flowers, Princess Bubblegum

Superstitions: Believes in the Properties of Plants and Crystals

Ambitions: To be a good leader when I take over for my father, To help people adjust to their new lives, To learn to play guitar

Talents: Cooking, Painting

Sense of Humor: Laughs at everything

Darkest Secret: I feel guilty for helping people come into this world who will end up hurting it

Does Anyone Know? Who?: No (everyone thinks I’m just happy to be bringing life into the world or helping them adjust to their new life)

Greatest Fear: Messing up and breaking one of the big rules

Why?: Well outside of punishment, one of my big rules involves not helping bring new life into the world (the same as letting them die before they were meant to) and it just makes me feel guilty especially if they were going to do something great.

Other Fears: The Balance being destroyed

Why?: The world would end...

Most at Ease When: Baking or Gardening

Most Uncomfortable When: Arguing/Fighting

Enraged When?: People I care about are attacked and hurt

Depressed When?: I have to stop the birth of a new life

Frightened When?: Being punished or attacked

If Granted One Wish What Would It Be?: To live a normal life and die old

Habits

Bad Habits: Lip Chewing, Trying to Hide Face When Embarrassed, Daydreaming Often, Quiet When Upset

Good Habits: Gets Work Done as Quickly as Possible, Likes to help People

Hobbies: Gardening, Ice Skating, Baking, Cooking, Gardening

Instrument?: Hopefully, guitar

Sport?: N/A

Spending Habits: I Don’t Spend

Drinks?: Water

Smokes?: N/A

Drugs?: N/A

Nervous Tics: Biting Lip

Favorites

Prized Possession: FLOWER CROWNS

Color: White

Quote: “I’m a simple person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile”

Genre: Fantasy

Season: Spring

Flower: Lotus

Flavor: Lemon

Food: Blueberry Lemon Tart

Dessert: Carrot Cake Parfait

Soundtrack

Theme: Upside Down by Set It Off

Reason: I try to be very cheery and optimistic person in my life. I’ve always tried to be since I started my life. I know bad things happen and they suck but I try to look on the bright side even if it's really hard for me to do sometimes.

Past Theme: Circle of Life

Reason: My sister and I are the circle of life. We connect everything. We represent the one thing everything has in common life and death.

Couple Theme: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Reason: I feel like this is very accurate to my relationship with Finn. I have fallen for his past lives and his current life over my very long life and I have no doubt that I will fall for his future lives as well. It was a scary thought at first but now I embrace it and will happily stand by him in any life.

#Adventure Time #adventure time oc #finn

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sunflowersnows-blog · 5 years ago

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I love my wife.

We got married about - oh, I don’t know exactly - three? Three years ago it was I believe. We had met at High Valley Farm, one of those overly large farming plots that was turned into a business for families to bring their kids to when they had nothing better else to do. You know, the ones that originally had a farm and barn on it and then the owner decided to add kiddy stuff, like corn mazes, a playground, a petting zoo, shit like that.

I worked there as a supervisor for the petting zoo. Easy job, making sure the kids didn’t treat the animals too roughly or fall into the pins while leaning over to pet the sheep, showing them how to feed the miniature horses properly, just making sure all the kiddies were safe and everything ran smoothly.

That’s where I met her specifically. When she first walked in through the tent flap, I had to do a double take. She wore a casual outfit of leggings and a (very cute) oversized sweater with short auburn hair. I thought she was a little young to be a mother but expected young kids to follow her in all the same. Yet, it turned out I was correct in my assumption when nothing came in behind her. It was a little odd to see adults interested in attractions meant to hold the attention of kids, but I, in my oversized, mud stained overalls and hair resembling that of a rats nest, was in no place to judge her. If a grown-ass, women wanted to pay a twenty dollar admission fee to pamper the pigs, then that was up to her.

Teaching her the proper etiquette for handling the piglets was easy enough, (“Scoop them from underneath the bum - yes, like that - and press them against your chest so they don’t fall.”) the hard part was actually talking to her. As fun as it was to watch her swoon over pigs, I would have preferred if she didn’t remember as the socially awkward farm lady.

It took a few moments of self assurance and deep breaths before I even attempted to start a conversation. I approached her, all intentions of being as suave as possible.

“So, you like… The pigs.” In that moment, I wished I could sink into my overalls and become one with the dirt, real smooth indeed, dumbass. Green eyes looked into mine, piglet still held to her chest.

“Yes! I do love them so, they’re my favourite animal in fact! Oh, but I love all animals, I'm vegan for that very reason! Can’t stand the meat industry.” She responded with a shake of her head, clearly on the verge of vomiting a 12 page essay about the ethics of capitalism on me. I was more than happy to hear every word of it.

From there on, we hit it off. I got her number (her number! A pretty girls number!) and we hung out every chance we could. I gave her discounts on her admission tickets and let her stay long after the farm closed for the day. You see, I was a family friend of the owner, Paul, a nice older gentlemen. He was rather lenient and always let me bring friends on to the lot, as long as we didn’t break anything and cleaned up after ourselves. He was a good guy.

Often, after all the animals had been packed up and put away for the night, I would take her to the old barn. Not the new one where the animals slept, the one that was on the plot before all the attractions were built. Whether it be because Paul was creeped out by the thing or was getting too old to walk the solid kilometre from the farm house to the barn, he wouldn’t go near it. In other words, I basically had the whole thing to myself. It was in a state of disrepair from disuse, cobwebs hung in every corner of the high ceiling, light peeking through from holes in the wood and it was relatively empty save the mounds of hay.

A little musty, sure, but I had never been happier to spend long evenings after my shift with her by my side. Having her weave field flowers into the abyss of my hair all while she talked about her day. About the lecture from her professor, about the nice cashier she encountered, about anything and everything.

In that little run down barn is where I had my first kiss, barely getting my (heavily practiced) confession out before being smothered with kisses and giggles.

We got married shortly after and life was perfect. I didn’t think there was anything that could be called perfect in this world, but when she slotted her soft hand into mine and brushed the silver band on her finger against my palm, I knew I was wrong. Perfection existed and it was holding my hand and giggling into my shoulder.

She finished teachers college and was overjoyed about getting a position at a local highschool near her parents' house while I still worked full time at the farm. Being a teacher had been her dream for a while now and she was so excited to interact with the students and nurture them to grow into the best versions of themselves they could be.

Unfortunately, the highschool became a bit less local after we bought a complex a forty minute drive away. I worried about her transportation, but she met my concerns with confidence and pride. Soft fingers smoothed the crease inbetween my brows and reassured me through whispered words that a short drive could never dampen the joy that came with spending the rest of her life with the one she loved. If I cried a little into the nook of her shoulder while we hugged, then that was between me and God.

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At six pm, when the last of the kids had been corralled from the farm and the stalls had all been shut down, I decided to take my little hike to the barn. I clocked out of work, making sure to give my goodbyes to my co-workers, thank them for their work and the likes. I'd hate to be rude, especially since a few had been acting dodgy, more distant than normal. Maybe a misunderstanding? I’d have to ask sometime.

Before I could head out, I was stopped by a firm hand on my shoulder. Startled, I turned back only to come face to face with my boss. I know I said he was kind, but in that moment his face looked so stricken. Somehow, the wrinkles in his face seemed deeper than normal, heavy with an unforeseen weight.

“Hun,” He started off in his heavy southern accent, slow and soft, as if trying to appease a wild animal, “Are ya… feeling well? Y’aint done nothin’ wrong, just a few people are concerned about ya’, that’s all. Say ya go to the barn an awful lot. I just don’t want ya’ to be… alone is all. Bit worried ‘bout ya’, y’know? Been acting off since…. Ya know, the accident. Irresponsible people… Ought to get off the road.” Paul finished with a light sheen of sweat on his face and a hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. Accident? Accident? Like… A work accident? Someone screw up and violate a work safety rule? I paused, running through the events of the past week, but nothing came to mind.

Before I could gather myself properly, I heard Paul rather loudly clear his throat, clearly expecting some kind of answer. His face was pinched and tight, foot tapping rapidly against the soil.

“I’m sorry.” I responded with a heavy sigh, “I didn’t mean to startle you or the other workers, I'm sorry. It’s just that, well, the barns our spot y’know? Me and hers…” I trail off and I hear Paul give a hum of acknowledgment, but instead of relaxing, he grows even more tense.

“Well, as long as ya…. As long as you’re good, coping well and what have you. See you tomorrow, don’t stay out too late.” He gave a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and lightly patted my shoulder before walking back towards the farm house. I appreciated his concern, but I honestly can’t see what I did to warrant it. I was just visiting my wife, was that so off putting? She was waiting for me in the barn, as she often did, so what was the issue?

Oh well, I refuse to let this incident bother me. You can’t control the thoughts of others, afterall. With that mostly out of mind, I start off towards the barn. As always, she’s waiting for me when I get there. It’s hard to see in the dim light of the evening, so I take to lighting the candles I set up.

“Love, take a look at this!” I start, opening the small bag I brought and pull out a pink candle. “It’s scented! I picked it up just before work this morning. It's sweet, like candy, so I know you’ll like it. Here, smell it!” I offer up the candle and hold it just below her nose for a moment before pulling it away to light it and set it down close by.

She’s lying down, surrounded by straw and dirt, cushioned by a rather large blanket I brought. It was pretty chilly out at this time, after all. She’s looking a bit worse than yesterday but thats okay. She’s still gorgeous, always gorgeous.

But these fucking flies.

With an annoyed hiss, I try to bat them away, taking care not to outright smack my wife in the process. No matter how much I shoo and complain, they always buzz right back to crawl along her skin. At least the raccoons haven’t gotten in.

Ignoring the annoyance, I lay down beside her. Running a hand over her hair, gently combing out tangles and dirt. When I pull my hand away, strands of hair cling to my fingers, but that’s alright. She never had very healthy hair to begin with. I hum with dissatisfaction (I ought to buy her one of those repairing shampoos) before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

She’s still ice cold. Even with the blanket, she’s still cold. I run my thumb over her lips in a last ditch attempt to get her to warm up, but to no avail. At least she isn’t uncomfortable though, right? She would’ve said something if she were distraught, but she’s silent now so it must be fine.

I sit back up with some effort and drag my backpack closer to me.

“I brought something else too.” I hum, rummaging through my bag, “it’s the same thing as last time, of course. Oh, but it wasn’t so bad last time, was it? You handled it like a champ! So brave!” I chuckled, thinking of her strength, her resilience.

“We’ll start in a sec I just need… I know I put them in here, I double checked and everything… Ah! There we are! I knew I wasn’t losing it, they were just hiding.” I grin, satisfied with myself before placing the scissors down beside the jar I grabbed earlier.

With that all set up, I grab my wife and gently pull up her head to rest on my lap. Brushing her bangs off her forehead, I look her in the eye. Tenderly, I brush my thumb just under her eye and grab my scissors.

“Ah… I'm really sorry about all this, but you understand, yeah? I’m just trying to help, honey. They’ll get all damaged if I keep them here, and then I won’t get to see your pretty eyes again… I mean! I already did the other one, so might as well finish right? It'll be better this way, I can carry a piece of you everywhere it go! Don't worry, I'll be quick, okay?"

Sheepishly, I look away and then back at her. One gorgeously green eye and an empty socket stare back. If she has any objections, she isn’t voicing them, so it must be fine. It's fine. She understands, surely.

With her silent permission, I press my thumb a little harder over the edge of her socket, just under her eye, feeling where bone ends and squishy flesh begins. I wedge my thumb in the space between the two and press upwards. It takes a bit of effort, but with gentle coaxing I push her eye up and out. I hold it gently with one hand as to not have it roll around and fall, while the other hand opens the scissors.

With a steady hand, I line up the scissors to the string of nerves connecting her eye to her skull. With a quick ‘snip’ the line is cut. Opening the jar beside my thigh, I slip her eye in the opening, watching it softly splash into the liquid inside and float about. She isn’t bleeding, but I still wipe at the socket with my sleeve anyhow, just to make sure she’s nice and clean.

“There we are. See, that took no time at all! Now, I have them both. I won’t let them get damaged or dirty, promise!” I tuck the scissors back into the bag and the jar alongside it after securing the cap. Even though it's still mid-evening, I find myself to be rather exhausted. I gently lie my wife back down in the soil and adjust the blanket around her body, nice and cozy.

Too tired to keep myself upright, I lie beside her and nestle my face into her neck, wrapping my arms around her torso to pull her body flush against mine. She isn’t warm and she doesn’t smell like the perfume I bought her for her birthday anymore, but it's fine. It’s fine.

After all, I love my wife.

“Goodnight, dear.” I mumble before letting the buzz of flies lull me to sleep in place of a steady heartbeat.

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cullinankatsudon · 7 years ago

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Yuri on Ice Episode 6: China’s On! The Grand Prix Series Opening Event!! The Cup of China Short Program

This episode is the one that drew me into the show, so it has an extra special space in my heart, though I love it for its own sake too. It was stills from this ep that caught my eye and made me watch, but it’s a fabulous installment, and this viewing made me see all kinds of new things which I can’t wait to talk about.

There’s of course the opening gambit where Victor admonishes Makka not to eat the buns, which now we’re like, dammit, dog, if you would have listened what kind of score would Yuri have gotten in Russia…but then no airport scene, so okay. I also love that Yuri is the one nagging Victor to get going, to stop trying to order champagne on the flight and let him sleep. But man, that seat they’re in! They’re in the back of the damn plane. I don’t know if this was because it was easier to draw or they liked the image or they were saying no, Yuri really got the shittiest seat in the whole plane because he’s that broke. But I think Victor’s okay with this because it meant he got to snuggle.

I also like how okay Yuri is already with the snuggling. At some point during their summer he became totally okay with Victor’s constant touch. Damn, but I wish we could have seen that. Did you know that end credits scene with them on the beach was meant to be an episode?

*Heavy sigh*

Anyway. I hadn’t paid much attention to the other skaters before, not with any detail, but there’s Otabek in there with Guang Hong and Leo. And Emil with JJ and Yurio. Yurio is seriously cranky here, which now we know why. I just hadn’t paid much attention to all this before. I love these little details.

I also am still perplexed by the way Victor draws Yuri away from the press interview when they’re asking him about his program. He didn’t interrupt this time, or brag Yuri up, just tried to end it. When this didn’t work, he tried to talk to Yakov, who insulted him, and then he put on his fake smile and grabbed Yuri to go get dinner. Where he got very drunk. I still don’t know why he didn’t want Yuri to talk to the press, why he was being flighty. I wonder if this was the first tells of his own desire to be a skater again?

So now we’re at the now infamous hot pot restaurant, Victor eating everything in sight and Yuri eating barely anything, worrying about how much he shot his mouth off at the press conference. Maybe that was why Victor got him out of there? Victor is trying to get him not to think about it, to just eat, but Yuri won’t, because Yuri is a champion worrier.

Then of course Phichit shows up. And invites Celestino—I love Yuri’s “not really, I don’t really want to see him,” but Phichit invites him anyway. I also love that Yuri switched sides to sit by Victor. Whose idea was that? Victor’s? Yuri’s? I mean there was no reason that had to happen. They just did it.

Now we have Guang Hong getting his crepe, and Leo coming up to him. First of all, they’re so cute together. Also, I really want to know how Leo is supposed to interpret for Phichit. What languages does he know? And then then how Guang Hong is fanboying over Victor. And Georgi is all dismissive of the younglings.

The drunk coaches at the table, though. Celestino with the…drool? The whatever it is out of his mouth, and of course naked Victor hanging on Yuri. And Yuri not drunk but blushing as his coach tries to do him in the booth. And gets entirely naked. In a restaurant. And throws his underwear all over.

And God bless Phichit and his need to post everything on social media.

Yuri worries that everyone will think he was fooling around before the competition…and we’re like, have you been fooling around, actually? I mean, there’s nothing saying the episode seven kiss was their first. We all want it to be, but it might not have been. (I think it was. I’ve decided it was, in my version of the YOI world. But you never know….)

Chris gives Yuri a ribbing about his master keeping him in shape, and Victor shows up, happy to see Chris. Everyone fanboys and fangirls them, hinting that Victor shouldn’t be a coach, should skate, and that his coaching Yuri is a joke. And Yuri hears all this.

Now we finally get to see the programs from the other skaters—and I never get tired of the ones shown at the Cup of China. I love Phichit so much, on and off the ice. Even though “Shall We Skate” gets stuck in my head. Guang Hong is great too. I love how soft and sweet he is. Leo’s skate isn’t my favorite, and Georgi is… Georgi, but I do love seeing them. From this episode on, it’s Grand Prix, and it’s so exciting. I also love how excited these guys get for each other, how they cheer each other on, get excited for each other’s accomplishments.

While Guang Hong skates, though, we get Yuri having his snap moment, where he acknowledges everyone here wishes he hadn’t taken Victor and it doesn’t matter how good he does, that’s who he is, the guy who took Victor. I feel like we keep failing to acknowledge what a trap he steps over here: he could have felt the pressure of that and faltered, but instead he says, oh yeah, then fuck you and decides he’s going to use that pressure to push himself forward. He declares to himself, I want to be hated as the man who took Victor from the whole world! He paces back and forth the whole time before his skate, getting himself psyched up.

Then when it’s his time to skate and Victor gently tries to nudge him off his training wheels, saying he doesn’t need to imagine pork cutlet bowls or his mental script about being a woman to do his routine, he can just be himself—Victor then gives Yuri’s hand a little stroke, like he’s being just a bit daring. Yuri steamrolls over that, lacing his fingers with Victor, saying, no, no little bit daring, I’m going to be clear that I am coming on to you, and then I’m going to press my forehead to yours and look you aggressively in the eye as I claim you and give you a command.

Don’t ever take your eyes off me.

Remember he’s doing this in front of everyone. Everyone sees this—this is part of his plan, claiming Victor in front of everyone before he goes off and skates. I feel like this is why, when I write YOI fanfic, I tend to write an aggressive Yuuri and he leads a pining Victor around—this scene (and the tie-pulling in 8) starts that for me. All Yuri’s skates do that for me: this is where his dominance shines. The two of them together as such an amazing fluid pair, bringing out each other’s strengths, helping each other be stronger and better. I can’t wait to see Yuri help Victor skate too. I am aching for that movie and season two. I’m so glad they’re taking their time and doing it right.

Anyway. Yuri’s going to skate Eros now, and he’s going to kill it dead.

His confidence, his exactness—he’s delivering this to Victor, this skate, and he doesn’t miss. I love Victor’s reaction, his blushes, his joy, his love watching his student and the man he loves skate. There’s just so much here, as always. It’s so great to watch this performance evolve and grow. And Yuri’s so beautiful—also, I love and appreciate so much that Yuri as a character looks so Japanese. Sometimes it’s odd as hell to be watching Japanese characters who don’t look like their nationality because of the way anime characters are drawn. But there are frames in his skate where he is so Japanese looking, and so handsome and incredible. It’s the best. This show is just the best.

I also love how Yuri isn’t ecstatic after this skate. Victor is, and he can’t stop making out with him in the kiss and cry, but Yuri is kind of stunned and awkward about his performance, which he should be excited and proud of. He did what he set out to do, even made Victor excited, but somehow it didn’t seem to give Yuri what he wanted.

Now Georgi. You know, he’s such a weirdo, so intense, but having watched Yuri on Stage and discovering the guy who voices him is so great and is the guy who sings the end credits…I can’t laugh at him as much. Also, the more you watch the show, the more all the characters are like family, and he’s just weird cousin Georgi now. Who you would like to stop being a stalker and to use less eye makeup.

I like Leo a lot, but his skate has never done it for me. I also think I’d feel more for Leo if we saw more of him, but we need more content for that. They just have so many characters and not enough time. We need so many more episodes, man. But I do enjoy that Guang Hong so obviously has a crush on Leo. I’m here for this ship.

Last, we get Chris, Mr. I-Come-On-The-Ice Giacometti. The butt-grab, the super sexy skate…All I can think of now is the guy at Animefest who cosplayed pool Chris, Free Skate Chris, and I think maybe another version of him—he was a great Chris. Also, the voice actor for Chris I swear is Chris. He really is the best wingman for Victor when writing fanfic, though, as good as Phichit is for Yuri. And during Chris's skate we get to watch Victor hug Yuri possessively.

And then we have the end of the episode, where we find out that Yuri is in the top spot and we get that incredible shot of Victor and Yuri standing beside each other looking soft as hell together.

We all know what episode is next. I’d start it today if I didn’t have so many other things to do. Tomorrow, no question, man.

Rafflecopter link for the giveway accompanying this set of reviews/recaps. (Full explanation post, pic link as reminder of stuff on offer.) I’ll add another blog link which will hopefully help you leave comments.

A single stroke can change your world.

Xander Fairchild can’t stand people in general and frat boys in particular, so when he’s forced to spend his summer working on his senior project with Skylar Stone, a silver-tongued Delta Sig with a trust fund who wants to make Xander over into a shiny new image, Xander is determined to resist. He came to idyllic, Japanese culture-soaked Benten College to hide and make manga, not to be transformed into a corporate clone in the eleventh hour.

Skylar’s life has been laid out for him since before he was born, but all it takes is one look at Xander’s artwork, and the veneer around him begins to crack. Xander himself does plenty of damage too. There’s something about the antisocial artist’s refusal to yield that forces Skylar to acknowledge how much his own orchestrated future is killing him slowly…as is the truth about his gray-spectrum sexuality, which he hasn’t dared to speak aloud, even to himself.

Through a summer of art and friendship, Xander and Skylar learn more about each other, themselves, and their feelings for one another. But as their senior year begins, they must decide if they will part ways and return to the dull futures they had planned, or if they will take a risk and leap into a brightly colored future—together.

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Heidi Cullinan has always enjoyed a good love story, provided it has a happy ending. Proud to be from the first Midwestern state with full marriage equality, Heidi is a vocal advocate for LGBT rights. She writes positive-outcome romances for LGBT characters struggling against insurmountable odds because she believes there’s no such thing as too much happy ever after. When Heidi isn't writing, she enjoys playing with new recipes, reading romance and manga, playing with her cats, and watching too much anime. Find out more about Heidi at heidicullinan.com.

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