#it's made it so i dont wanna post at all anymore .even though its something I'm into

[nightmare8-420]

i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.

[sneezienspire]

I swear you fucks don't realize your actions have consequences. I haven't been active on here since my partner got a message complimenting my sneezes on HIS BLOG. thats not okay. Don't do that shit i promise you things aren't going to end well for you. I can never post again of that's what we're about here. I can delete my account.

Perhaps just reblog the things you appreciate, don't leave shitty comments, and dont be fucking backhanded or weird. You can just message the person making the content that you like it and want more, do not fucking harass my partner.

Also, he's hot as hell. Don't act like i sneeze better or im so great because he's way better and wonderful and deserves all the support in the world.

[mochiheartsit]

kyo soma x reader

‧₊˚ ⋅ 🍓 ᓚᘏᗢ 🫐‧₊ .ᐟ

{ Angst/Fluff }

summary: reader has some bad memories pop up and becomes submerged in a bad ptsd episode and panic attack. kyo comes home from the store and finds them disheveled and lost. He comforts them and grounds them. post curse being lifted from the sohma’s.

warnings/TW: mention of abuse

it was a calm spring day, the trees were blossoming and the air was crisp. you were cleaning in the kitchen and humming along to a song playing on the radio. your mind was going elsewhere and thinking of your life. it had been almost 3 years since you moved in with kyo. it really didn't feel like that long. everyday that passed was cherished and your heart was full. you were grateful and loved him more than anyone in your life. you never expected to be with kyo. to be cared for and cherished without doubt. to feel held even when you were apart from one another. he never judged you or put you down. he did so much for you without even knowing it. he would wake up before you and just watch you sleep. he would walk up behind you while you were cooking dinner and wrap his arms around your waist. whisper sweet nothings, things he would never say aloud. he gave this look when you told him about your day, a look that made you feel safe and at home. it was such a foreign feeling, to be loved. you thought of your life before meeting the soma family and you shivered. your life before him. goosebumps appeared on your skin.

" you're a liar and a bitch! i could never love you. you aren't my daughter, i dont know you. disgusting child. no one will ever love you. "

the memory flashed in your head. that voice crystal clear and replaying over and over. your stomach felt sick and your body froze. so many years went by and you were stuck hearing things like that. no one saved you or seemed to care so you must've deserved it. you felt small and scared, the memories all rushing to you at once. so much progress had been made, but you kept going back to square one. your hands felt like jelly and the plate you were holding fell to the floor with a crash. surprised, you snapped out of your daydream. you crouched and hid your face in your knees, sobbing and screaming. so many emotions came over you in such a short amount of time. hurt and wounded from the pain your parents put you though. it haunted you and never truly went away. you wanted your boyfriend. you needed kyo right now. where was he? you couldn't remember and you felt frightened and alone.

" kyo... " you whimpered his name out. the air around you felt like it was thick and heavy. suffocating. your breathing was quick and your head felt light. you heard something thud and footsteps come toward you.

" y/n! " kyo's voice. your boyfriend was home. he rushed to your side and pushed your legs down and away from your chest. he lifted your face to meet his and your tears welled up again. you started to sob and mumble incoherently. you looked like a child to soma and he pulled you into his chest. petting your soft hair and speaking in a gentle voice.

" its okay, i'm here now. i've got you baby, "

you clung to him and started to calm down. his heartbeat was loud in his chest and it grounded you. the smell of his shirt mixed with his own scent. he took deep breaths, hoping you would match his rythym. kyo rested his cheek on your head, softly he hummed along to the radio. you were so exhausted you weren't even thinking about anything anymore. just being in your boyfriend's presence relaxed you. he took over all your thoughts. you felt better when he was around, protected and safe.

" thank you kyo, " you mumbled. he rubbed a hand on your back, it was soothing. he waited a little longer before parting to help you up. he held you again while you stood. your arms wrapped around his torso and you buried your face in his chest. soma kissed your head.

" do you...wanna talk about it? " he hesitated, but knew he would at least offer. you looked up to him and shook your head.

" just wanna cuddle. please? " you asked, swallowing dryly. kyo nodded and moved your bodies so you were behind him. you looked down to the porcelain scattered across the kitchen floor. fuck, you remembered.

" i'll clean this up, go on to the bedroom okay? i'll be right there with you. " he reassured you. before you could even argue he shooed you off. you sulked to your room and changed into some soft sweats and a tshirt. you turned on your mood lighting and curled up under the covers. your eyes fluttered shut as you waited for your love. he got into bed beside you and held you close. petting your hair, rubbing his hand along your back and arm. you felt yourself drifting to sleep, not wanting to sleep but you needed it.

" m'love you...sleepy. " you mumbled into your boyfriend's chest. he smiled and kissed your head.

" i love you so much . " he spoke softly, his voice low. you two stayed like that for a few hours, napping into the evening. when you woke up you were back to your usual temperament, annoyed at kyo for letting you nap instead of starting on dinner. he laughed at your puffy face from sleeping, you couldn't help but smile. you leaned in and kissed his lips. he held your lower back, humming against the kiss. you felt at peace with your lover and couldn't ask for more.

a/n: this is like 2 years old!!! but i’m reentering my fruba phase and wanted to post this :P if you read this thank yew!🩷i hope it fulfills the kyo obsession teehee

[burntb4bydoll]

I love your writing soo much it hurts. 🥲

Can you please write like a 2000s bill smut or fluff ( whatever you feel comfortable with), where they build a pillows and blankets fort together and they end up falling asleep cuddled. And the rest of the band takes photos and mocks them the next day.

At this point I need fics to breathe. Thanks ✌

Thank you so much beautiful<3

This is such a cute idea! Im gonna do fluff for the people that dont like smut, cuz i feel like i dont post a lot of only fluff fics!

Bill Kaulitz x reader

Warnings: friends to loverssss🤭, nothing else really just a lot of cute stuff

When Bill had invited you to come over, you didn’t think this is what you guys would end up doing. You’re currently helping Bill set up a massive blanket fort in his living room. He originally invited you over to watch a movie, but after you arrived he decided that he wanted to make it more fun by making a fort. Even though you didn’t expect it, you were having so much fun hanging out alone with him. After you guys finished setting up the fort, Bill let you pick out a movie and you laid next to each other to watch it.

“This is fun. We should hangout alone more often. I feel like we only ever spend time with the band, I like having this type of one on one time together.” Bills attention left the tv screen to look over at you as you started talking. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them too but you know…”

“I know. I like this too. I’ve actually been trying to hangout with you alone for a while now, but uhh things never really go as planned…” he trailed off, his eyes moving down to break your intense eye contact. He awkwardly shifted for a minute before turning to fully face you. His head still laid on the pillow, but now he was looking at you. “Um..I actually invited you here to tell you something. Its kinda important to me…” you turned to face him too. Now you were only a few inches away from one another, you could practically feel his uneven breath hitting you.

“Whats up? You seem nervous. You know I won’t judge you, Bill.” Your hand comes up to hold his hand comfortingly. He takes a shaky breath in and stares into your eyes,

“Y/n, I really like you. And not as a friend. I wanna be your boyfriend so bad. Not a day goes by where I don’t dream about being with you.” Your eyes go wide, inhaling sharply.

“Bill..I like you too. I was literally going to tell you tonight.” He looks at you with a blank expression for a moment before giggling loudly. His adorable laugh made you giggle too. Once you two calm down a little he starts talking again,

“Oh my god I was so nervous! I can’t believe I was so stressed for nothing!” He laughs softly, leaning closer to you. You smile and shake your head, just happy that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore. “Can I…can I kiss you?” You nod eagerly as his hands cup your face gently. He slowly leans in, placing a experimental kiss on your lips. Once you both relax a bit, the kiss turns passionate and intimate. He pulls away and gives one last peck on your lips before tucking his head underneath yours and holding your waist tightly. Before you knew it, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.

You woke up the next morning to hearing some snickers and giggles. Sitting up slightly, you groggily rubbed your eyes and looked around the room. When your eyes finally focused you realized what was happening. Bill was curled up against your side with his head laying on your shoulder. His hair was messy and he was drooling a little. The rest of the band was standing above you guys, taking pictures and laughing. Bill stirred and sat up, groaning at his brothers loud laughter.

“What are you guys doing here? You’re so annoying!” Bill grumbles, swatting away the camera that Gustav had shoved in his face.

“What are we doing here?” Tom exclaimed, “What are you guys doing here? We’re not the ones all cuddled up and being all lovey-dovey!” Georg and Gustav bursted into another fit of giggles, looking at the pictures they had took of you.

“Hey! You better delete those! I did not agree to have my picture taken, especially while I’m sleeping!” Bill jumped up and started to chase Georg around, trying to retrieve his camera. You giggled a little and laid back down.

“Its too damn early for this. Fuck you guys I’m going back to sleep.”

[ginumo2]

i dont know if this could be seen as a rent lowering gunshot to others but i feel like i need to say this in advance for all the new moots i made in the past year or so VDJSVKSDB

yes i was a dsmp fan from like. the very beginning of it. dont stop reading yet though let me continue.

i have very mixed feelings towards it now, mostly because of how like. it got to a point where youd be targeted or isolated if anyone found out if you were a dsmp fan, feeling somewhat forced to stop supporting it at all and.

ill be honest! it sucks a little!!! because the story and the characters really charmed me starting from late 2020 to almost 2022 and it was like. a major fandom for me. it was a lot of what kept me engaged and distracted in the years where my life went through an incredibly rocky road and now its like. im ashamed to say i was a dsmp fan at all, even though it marked a huge part of my fandom experiences here on tumblr

the dsmp has gotta be one of the most remarkable fandoms ive been in personally, and i'm a little sad that i can't speak of it in a positive light without the possibility of being exploded on the spot but its whatever. ive been trying to wipe it off of my main art blog's top tags out of shame and due to falling out of the fandom, but i don't wanna get rid of the posts because of how important that time period was for me.

if you wanna keep following me or not after admitting, or if you wanna block me for something that happened like. two, three years ago? its up to you. but its just. yeah. i needa say it out loud

tl;dr — i was a dsmp fan for the characters and the story but don't really support it anymore, yet the story it developed still holds a dear place in my heart. do whatever you want with that information

[novaazurite]

Making my grand return after 3 weeks of inactivity! (Though I may not be active all the time) Lets talk about TPOT 14!

While I did enjoy this episode a lot, the only downside I have with it is how it was a little too fast paced, I can handle that for BFDIA, but I think knowing how TPOT usually is maybe it was a little offputting, I might need to do a rewatch, but I remember a lot from the episode so im still goin with this post.

So with that said...lets start the ramble session!

So I just want to point out how Pencil is clearly living in the past on how obsessed she is to desprately reform FreeSmart by getting Book and Ice Cube, idk why it just feels funny and weird, you can clearly tell how uncomfortable they were in this and last episode that they want nothing to do with her, whatever the hell she did to them in IDFB (im still having thoughts the 'FreeSmart downfall' is gonna hppen in IDFB with Match being the first to leave the LOL.)

Ill admit the shot of the new TCOA was pretty cool, I like it when they implement 3d things into BFDI

Now... onto the CAS. I freaked out so bad in vc when I saw Pin and Ice Cube safe, ik Taggy and Book was gonna be safe so i didnt worry, but felt like Pin was in danger because she couldnt do much being stuck to Gaty, I thought Icy was gonna be out because she was used just to try and kill the fish monster, she couldnt really do much. But OH MY GOD.

I FUCKING GOT IT RIGHT. FOR A WHILE I HAD A FEELING ERASER AND GATY WAS GONNA BE OUT. Ill be honest Eraser didnt have much going on anymore because of Teardrop being eliminated in TPOT 9, so what else did he have left? I dont know exactly, I really had expected him getting out. Now TREE? I didnt expect him to be in the bottom 2, I thought he would be third to last safe, Pin and Gaty being bottom two because both of them didnt do much but be stabbed and used as a weapon by Robot Flower. As much as I love Gaty, I had a feeling she was gonna be out, and finding out I was right about her and Eraser being out made me insanely shocked. The first time I ever got a TPOT prediction right, though I thought One was gonna immediately snatch them up soon after, but good thing Book took notice of it and try to have and her, alongside Pin try to keep Gaty safe. While the others threw Eraser around basically.

Now im glad we got to see the elimination space again, and seeing the others are trying to escape, Fries and Puffball trying to break what seems to be a barrier? Also I noticed Saw, Nickel and Coiny are not there, ik they arent snatched by One but maybe theyre somewhere?

This genuinely made me sad, I had a really good feeling Two was gonna be upset about Gaty being out, I was definetly aware they couldnt bring themself to send her to the elimination space knowing how close she is to them, I didnt expect them to send her to kitchen, however, seeing the scene of One staring at her makes me feel like Two should had sent her there, Gaty is at risk of being snatched, which is gonna upset them even more or hell, send them into a panic, from what ive seen, they seem to brush off the fact Bell/Bomby/Barf Bag/Needle are missing, but what happens if Gaty disappears? Will they try to keep running the show? Theres a lot of predictions you can go off from.

I just wanna show this screenshot its so funny that Taggy is just staring at Book like this 😭😭😭

Glad to see Firey Jr again!

Its funny how DPYA tried to do the same thing from last episode trying to defeat that venus flytrap(?), like sure that would totally work again.

Kind of like how Pin thought doing this again was gonna work in BFDIA 15, LOL.

Closing out my post on the post credits scene, I kind of wonder where the other exitors went. I completely freaked out seeing Match end up in the Pillary Ruins, and this shot here is so cool like.... Knowing last episode we saw Firey and Leafy, are we gonna see more of the BFB contestants again? I wonder what they will have for the plot in future episodes...

And something tells me FreeSmart may reform again, knowing Match is with Ruby and Bubble, and apparently Pencil trying to get Ice Cube and Book back, though its not gonna happen.

[anzuhan]

Hello! I'm new to your account but I just want to say your art is suuuuupper pretty! I want to know Anzu's lore, have you written it down anywhere or have discussed it with a previous ask yet?

hello, thank you and glad you asked 🫶 anzu never really speaks about anzu's lore because its overly complex and anzu wouldve wanted to save it for later for when anzu could actually pursue vtuber & idol activities, however its been 4 years and anzu still couldnt really. manage to do that. so anzu will talk about it now 👍 ^ _^)👍

anzu just hopes youre ready for a VERY long post (under cut because. otherwise itll be a post the length of do you like the color of the sky and dont wanna take up peoples dashes 😭)

so based on anzu's current design you'd probably think anzu is a vampire. which isnt entirely wrong but also. WRONG !! you see, anzu isn't from this world, universe, dimension, what have you. anzu comes from a very distant place in its own right that cannot exactly be entered, not even by anzu anymore due to how anzu was exiled from it. 'us' that live there are not entirely a species that is documented by the ones here, so anzu cant exactly tell you what anzu is, but the closest word to it of the inhabitants of this world would be probably close enough to shapeshifter; anzu doesnt exactly fit all characteristics of one, but that is still the best word youve all got for it ! anzu in a way also works like a candle, though anzu isnt made from wax or anything of the like (´ﾉω；`) anzu's insides are hollow and anzu's 'life' is given by a flame inside of anzu's body. it is closer enough to the fire that exists in this world, but also not entirely due to how it can hardly go out. back in anzu's 'world' we all lived under something close to a high governance of 'elders', but anzu would also compare it close to what people tend to call cults here. anzu did not like it, and though its painted as bad to be kicked out of that realm, anzu is kind of happy to have gone out ☆

anzu was also lucky enough to come across another of anzu's kind in the first world anzu was thrown into after the exile that could teach anzu how everything works. we are not exactly built for battle, though maybe sadly for anzu, anzu loves combat </3 our kind can go through dimensions, time and space at will, so we do not exactly age the same as humans. anzu could be 99308 one day and then 193993 the next one ! if anzu did some time skips or dimension skips or what have you. anzu has also given up trying to keep track of anzu's age, though last time anzu's checked, it was around 102000s (this may become invalid even by tomorrow)

the way we see things are as all stories, tales and also things far unknown beyond your imagination are their own dimension; dimensions are split into timelines; there is always a main timeline that shouldnt be interfered with, the one that you may call 'the one with the given fate', where all things go as they should, whether that be bad or not. and then after this one, theres thousands of subtimelines where minor changes have happened in everyones lives; anzu is free to go and disrupt those with anzu's own ideas of how things shouldve went~ truth to be told, anzu tends to become attached a ton to the ones that have sealed fates that cannot be changed.. well. almost, until anzu'd come in, of course ! and sometimes anzu cant help it but want to interfere. to how dimensions also work, a copy of every single person existing in said dimension exists in every copy of the main timeline; though, because anzu does not belong to any dimensions anzu goes thru, there can only be one anzu at a time anywhere.

anzu, across time and looking over all tons of different universes, has fallen in love with idols in each and every one of them. so anzu's quest is to end up becoming an idol in every dimension anzu goes to ! all different looks of anzu you see also tend to be so that anzu can fit in better here or there ... though despite anzu's spent so long among humans from so many different dimensions, anzu still struggles to understand some pretty simple things sometimes. either way, because anzu wants to be not only just any kind of idol but a cosplayer idol as well (i.e like fuyume hanamura from enst), its also good to have huge variety, right? ♡

this is what anzu looks like normally, anzu usually refers to this as 'default' or just 'sumika', given that was the name anzu chose when anzu had come onto a dimension outside of anzu's own. you may see it from time to time, and they may not always look identical but anzu thinks its pretty usual to spot in most drawings whenever it is the 'default' !

among the usual white holographic hair and the usual characteristics, anzu's also had blonde hair for a while ... anzu does not really like to act as an idol like this, but anzu does that.. sometimes ! and for the blonde times, it was more a case of spicing things up.. ?

those are also just a very small portion of what anzu's 'default' looks like. below is a much much larger strip of looks, though not updated.

okay ! now that we've established that that is, what a normal person would probably call anzu's 'natural' look, next are two charts of anzu's looks anzu used to use and that anzu still uses sometimes ! you see there far more often than the default, due to the fact that anzu prefers to perform idol work and activities through them. the default from before is more of a personal and casual thing(＞＜*)ノ~~~~~

(x next to the name means they do not get used anymore; checkmark means they still get used; the time below the name in paranthesis refers to when they were initially active)

though they all have a bit of a different personality and characteristics, theyre still all anzu ! anzu is anzu no matter what anzu looks like, so please dont forget that☆ if you wish to know more about any in particular, or want to see more art of either, feel free to send a further ask about it ! theres tons of arts of every single one of them.

anzu had also not described every single little thing about anzu's backstory or things anzu is capable of, tales of things thatve happened in this or that time/space/dimension/etc ; so if you have anymore questions about any and all of them please ask as well ! anzu is happy if youre interested in anzu♡

[trtfposting1987]

i love trtf3

another one of these posts because likkeeeee ?? yah

I absolutely love trtf3. i didnt have much to say about 2 but by contrast 3 i actually have too much to talk about! i dont wanna do this intro anymore lemme get into it baaaaa!!!!

So firstly lemme talk about lockjaw; yeah the design aint perfect and blah blah blah but how they build up to him is so COOL because hes like a shadow lockjaw in only trtf1 and 2 and in this game you actually get to see him for yourself. like THATS COOL. he was literally being pulled out of the shadows and ????? Waaat

AND THE GAME LOOKS SO GOOD TOO. i was always a fan of the fnaf 3 aesthetic and this game has SO MUCH OF IT and yeahhh i know the models arent the most high quality things on earth but man idk i still like looking at it so thats what really matters to me.... oh and by the way funny story i used to think that the phone guy in this game was voiced by scott cawthon.... like idk what was wrong with my ability to recognize people's voices cause he sounds nothing like him but thats just how ill i was haha

same goes for the models cause yeahhh they arent perfect but they have a kinda style to them thats very nice to look at

also vigo. i like vigo :3

dedicated to my best friend murmurokka

I LOVE GRON!!!!!! from the very beginning I've loved gron as a sort of friend to the purple guy. i made a whole post about this but to sort of flesh purple guy out in a way by giving him cohorts he has different relations to is so COOL. in this game he arguably has the least known about him but idc hes still really cool to have. i also just love his design and i kinda miss the era of fnaf where people would make their own color guy designs.... im sure some still do it but its just not the same.....

also i love vincents sprites in this. he kinda looks like hes slouching a lot of the time which. yea he would do that

im pacing around a lot but i just wanna say that i really love this game because of how... much there is in it...

theres minigames, there's a good, a bad, and even a sad ending, it's got a big location, it's got some entirely new mechanic which are honestly pretty cool (love you view animatronic) and yeah its still buggy and messed up but again!!! i !!! dont !! care!!!! its just so COOL that this game attempts to try to be one of the official titles with all it does. nowadays its unsurprising for this to be the case but back then with how much this game did it was like a one-in-a-hundred thing it was so so so so COOL!!!

not to mention how there were gonna be content updates for this like adding lynda into the game and man theres just something about having all this high fidelity new stuff added onto an old fangame like this i also find so cool. that sentence didnt make any sense BUT i will say that i played TRTF3 legendary edition once which is a cool game in of itself but hooooo my god the fact that it actually RESTORED lynda to the game along with adding a nightmare mode thats completely new????? liiiike fans restoring unused content to trtf games is like bvwaaaaaaaaghhhhhh anyhow moving on

shadow lockjaw returns and i like him too. come to think of it it kinda doesnt make sense for him to be here? but whateva a shadow is a shadow

by the way this is just a small thing but foxy is so funny here... tiny man.... tiny little man...

generally though i just really really love this game and every last thing about it????? it does so much and while its not perfect as always, it does it. it did everything it set out to do and thats AWESOME. i said i liked trtf1 the most because of it being the first year of fnaf but i like THIS one because it honestly feels the most like TRTF to me. it has lockjaw, it has a cool inversion of the fnaf 3 location where its more like a fantasy attraction than a horror attraction, it stylistically is so cool to me and i ccccan NEVER get it out of my head i love it so verry verrrry muchcchchch. i really wish i could just go back in time and relive TRTF all over again because seeing this game was such a magical experience....

[xxxnecrotica]

"fuck it. i got mine." >>>>>>

best final line ever.

i expected gore like in Perry's episode but that's okay. they made up fur it with that STUNNING monologue. the monologue about animal testing, someone else has to be hurt or whatever Verna said, "it didn't have to be those way. it could've happened peacefully, in a bed." "it's nothing personal. I'm sorry." i read a post about how death was gentle to all of them, gave them an option to Not die Like That, but they didn't take the chance to grow old and die peacefully and even death seems to regret it. Verna gave Camille several warnings. she didn't have to go in there. but she was so, like, in her head about exposing Victorine and all that. that she didn't heed the warnings. and she was so self centered and aggressive

the acting fur Verna was phenomenal here like when she started to go monkey or whatever <3 "she lies. she pumps us full of adrenaline to make it look like it works" the way her body language kinda changed a little bit after she jumped on the table THE MONOLOGUE ABOUT ANIMAL TESTING WAS SO GOOD I CANT GET OVER IT EHAUWJUAEJHWJEUJSUS

AND THE REVEAAALLL THE CAMERA REVEAL THE FLASH!!!!! SO GOOD

and yk i still don't understand why Camille hated Victorine. i guess ill look into that when I'm done with the series

something I'm tempted to look into is WHY TF TAMERLANE IS INTO LIKE CUCKOLDING OR WHATEVER WHWAHEUHWUAJWUEJ but i don't wanna get spoiledddd

i don't think it's exactly cuckolding though i mean that's what i thought at first but it's more like. she's projecting. onto the woman. and pretending it was her. ??????

and I'm so sad about Morrie i genuinely thought she got out safe ): they didnt show what happened to her in e1 and after Verna warned her i assumed she was gonna be fine ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽ I LOVE HER I DONT WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO HER ANYMORE

anyway i love this series there's always so much to unpack per episode, if people think hill House is better i wonder what hill House is like HAHAHHAHAH ik that's just subjective tho and is already enjoy house of usher a LOT bc of its deep topics related to society and shiii

[scourgefrontiers]

HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

[rottytops]

squid thoughts after finalfest...

readmore bc i dont think anyone cares or even knows who runs this blog anymore but anyways

squids huh...........i have such a weird and intimate relationship with splatoon, i was SO into it when s1 came out i literally wouldnt shut up about it, i was on fucking. SQUIDBOARDS everyday pre-release sucking up all the info i could on splats, and i played it to absolute death too. at the end of s1 for final fest i was in a really weird housing situation bc i was leaving college and my like 2 month lease at my apartment i couldnt afford was running out, but i dont think i had a tv or something? so i had to use the apartment's like...public office room to play that final fest at like 2AM (i was team marie of course)

then splat 2 happened and i think splatoon was like, my entire life for several years no joke. i fell into a big splatoon community, got really into making splatoon art and OCs, had tons of splat friends, it was kind of a whirlwind. splatoon was the launching pad i used to get into freelancing commissions which is really funny in retrospect because i could not and still cannot figure out how to draw the inkling mask to save my life.

those were really really fun days and i still consider 2 the peak of my interest in the series as well as my favorite splat game + idol group, the good days in my splat fanbse didnt last forever though since my mental health and the difficulties of freelancing ate me alive in a way that im only just now recovering from, but that doesnt tarnish the memory or anyhting, the friends i made during s2's run are some of the closest ive ever had and im still with them even today, so i guess in a way splatoon 2 affected my life in a way only comparable to like...the disgaea series which is REALLY SAYING SOMETHING

but that brings me to 3 which is definitely when i fell off of the splat boat and wanted to move on. to be honest a lot of drama happened post 2's end that made me not wanna look at splat 3 at all but of course i caved and bough it anddddddd barely even played it, lol...i missed a ton of the catalog battle pass things and didnt feel the need to play that much, i didnt even get side order until like 2 months ago... it makes me sad to think that something so important to me is just not quite for me anymore, even if i love it dearly, part of that i think is just ive accepted im REALLY BAD AT SHOOTERS no matter what. a million hours in 1 and 2 and my aim is still super bad, i was able to get all X rank in S2 but in S3 i can barely land my shots or use my brella and had to swap to the 52 gal...its embarassing! i think id get really into a splatoon RPG or something, so maybe they just need to make a splatoon spinoff for me to get absurdly hooked to it but for now im pretty content closing a book on playing the games

but man, final fest made me realize how much splatoon has done for me over the years, i think ill always adore the world and its characters, even if i dont keep up with the games very much. im a little miffed team past won beecase even if i love the squid sisters, i reaaaally dont wanna see them doing more idol stuff. let those bitches retire!!! theyre like 30 now and still doing the same songs and outfits they wore nearly 10 years ago!! aauuhg, though i guess me caring so much about virtual squid idols shows how much the series still means to me...

i dont have any closing thoughts and i dont think anyone read this far either but it does feel very nice to word vomit on my blog which i. do not do. anymore. for some reason..

i love splatoon a lot i think, maybe i should just draw squids without playing the games...i think ill do that...

[xkseii]

Heyy, I know you’re probably not going to see this since you’re not using this account anymore but i think i used to be ⛄️ anon. You might not remember me but that’s okay 😭😭🙏 I loved this account soo much i used to read all the posts on this acc on my free time last year 😭 espicially when im at school in breaktime (and sometimes in class..😟) but after graduating everything has just been busier and life yk 😪 so i never got the chance to read all your amazing fics anymoreee for a long time. I think we only talked once on the posts, LIKE I WAS SO SHY LIKE I WAS THINKING SHOULD I SEND THIS? OR SHOULD I NOT? WILL I GET BULLIED 😭?? I don’t knoww i just looked up to you smm like you’re such an amazing person like you were so nicee to me and stuff and i just wanna thank you for all the amazing memories you gave me this year and last year 😭🫶🏾🫶🏾 idk if you know but you had a big impact on me this year n last year. Your posts taught me how to set boundaries wit ppl, to take care of myself and that its okay to take breaks, how to write really good fics 😈and your adorable little son who always brightened up my day and made me smile whenever i felt shitty 😋 EVEN THOUGH I FEEL PRETTY SAD THAT YOU’RE LEAVING IM REALLY GLAD TOO, like im glad you’re prioritising your mental health and just i dont know how to explain it but im really happy you’re doing whats the best for you 😭😭 I hope you continue to make more fun and pleasant memories in the future and continue to do the things you love and brings out the best in you 😁 OKAY I THINK I’VE YAPPED ENOUGH IDK HOW TO MAKE APPRECIATION LETTERS BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU’RE DOING BETTER NOW THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE AND MAKING ME HAPPY IM GOING TO MISS YOU SMM BYEEE I REALLY WISH YOU THE BEST AND IM GOING TO MISS YOUR SON SM BUT THATS OKAY 😭😭 OKAY ENOUGH ENOUGH BYE DRINK PLENTY OF WATER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BYEE <33

I do remember a ⛄️ anon! (I think I remember almost all the anons I had, even since I started this account.)

You shouldn't be reading fics during class time! (but I did it sometimes too so I can't say anything.) Congratulation for graduation by the way, that's awesome and I'm really proud of you!! It's a big step, and even if the path after gets busier and more difficult, it's something to take huge pride in.

I am happy when anyone send anything, even a comment or ask without words, so thank you for taking the time to do it. I think I should thank you just as much, along with everyone else who accompanied me this year and part of the year before. You did make my life awesome, and I've rarely been this happy before, so it's thanks to you all.

I'm grateful for reading this, that really bring a smile to my face. I wish you the best just as much, that you can enjoy yourself and your life, make friends and be happy. Keep setting boundaries, prioritise yourself and your feelings, be a lovely and nice person. Don't forget to drink water and eat easier, take a break when you get too tired or start to burn out, and stay positive about all the small things that make you happy.

Thank you a lot, and I wish you a Happy New Year. My son (Sherlock) does too.

[yuukei-yikes]

hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

[acompassionatemonster]

I seriously think I’m speaking to a three year old because there’s no way you can be older than a toddler with how stupid you are. If you are older, please consider going back to school because you’re not gonna get far in life with your lack of common sense and underdeveloped brain. There is no way you can call me illiterate when you literally started your reply with, ‘not you’re mad’ and ended with ‘stay one that Jujutsu Kaisen season two’. And in your first reply you did get your ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ mixed up - you used ‘your’ when it should’ve been ‘you’re so scared’. Now please tell me if that made any sense. Take your head out of your ass and admit how much of an imbecile you are.

Love don’t worry about if I have a job or not, I know I am and will be fine but it’s you that you should be worried about right now. I don’t think you can get a job with your stupidity and illiteracy - no wonder why you read manga, bro just follows the pictures and ignores all the actual writing. Please do yourself and everyone else a favour and log off of Tumblr and every other social and pick up an actual book.

Oh come on now, don’t be a coward and avoid my question. I’ll stop bothering you when you either answer what media you are planning to consume soon or admit that you putting a Gojo spoiler without any spoiler warning and under a Toji tag was idiotic and insensitive (even though you strongly disagree - I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a new Joker over here- not that you have the IQ to be able to pull that off). I’m sorry that I’m the only honest person in your life to say you are insensitive. I bet you don’t even know what that word means given that your literacy and comprehension skills are very limited. So I’ll help you out a bit (because I doubt you can even spell it) and give you a definition, ‘insensitive’ (an adjective) - showing or feeling no concern for other’s feelings. A synonym would be ‘inconsiderate’. You can’t prove me wrong that those words don’t describe you. It was a big spoiler and I know it because you were probably crying over it and in your post you literally say you’re not ‘reading jjk anymore idc’ - therefore, you had no right in spoiling it for others, get that into your thick head and small fish brain.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a sheep and posting spoilers without warnings because, ‘literally everyone on here isn’t’. Are you that daft? Just because everyone isn’t, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Bro are you saying that if the purge happened and everyone was out wreaking havoc, you’d do the same thing and still say it’s not wrong? Are you a child that doesn’t know right from wrong? Please for the love of God, for your own future and safety, go back to school.

TLDR: stfu and tell me your opinion when you have a present dad x and sorry if this was too much writing for your bozo self to process mwah.

I think I'm speaking to someone who dropped out of school, like literally dropped out of school in the 7th grade. Because if YOU'RE SO SCARED OF SPOILERS WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?? LIKE I FUCKING SAID YOU PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU DONT READ THE NEW CHAPTERS THEN THATS, ON WHO??? ITS ON YOU. and why are you harassing me about my spelling?? Bitch it's fucking Tumblr, I'm not writing a thesis, a research paper or even a fucking essay. If I wanted to write a whole fucking article and then yes I would make sure that my spellings of both 'your' and 'you're were correct. However IM NOT. AND IDGAF. So why tf would I care if I spelt something wrong or mixed a few words up???. You bitches are talentless, jobless, bored and can't fucking read nor write and still live with YOURE parents in their BASEMENT. AND WANNA COME AFTER ME BECAUSE YOU GOT SPOILED. BITCH I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT READ THE CHAPTER AND FOUND OUT GOJO IS DEAD!!!!! BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS SPOILERS E V E R Y W H E R E. DONT COME ONLINE AND YOU WONT GET SPOLUED THEN YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. YOUR mother must have dropped your special ass on the head as a baby, because why are you at YOUR grown ass age GOING ON DIFFERENT PROFILES TO HARASS ME ABOUT A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER. I just fucking know you don't take baths OR EVEN WASH THAT FUCKING FILTHY ASS OF YOURS. it's fucking disgusting that YOUR Neanderthal ass came on here to give me a hard time because you what??? Can't keep up with the chapters when it releases??? Not my problem fucktard. And I'll tag my fucking posts with whatever I want. And I did answer your question, I said and I quote I don't care sweetie. So why don't you go to sleep and roll over on that cockroach infested ass floor mattress you sleep on every night. Roll over and go get caught up to the new chapters. Imagine trying to harass someone because YOU live in a section 8 apartment, with 15 other family members, have roaches and rats crawling all over you while you sleep and mad at me. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I'm just sure YOURE a fucking foster child whose mother and father left your Crack baby ass in foster care. Because there's no way that someone who had a loving, family or SUPPORT SYSTEM IS THIS BOTHERED. AND IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING BRAVE WHY WERE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY??? GET A LIFE YOU SMALL BRAINED, LONELY, PATHETIC, NEANDERTHAL ASS BITCH. I HOPE YOU TOSS AND TURN ON THAT FLOOR MATTRESS YOU SHARE WITH YOU 8 SIBLINGS EVERY NIGHT.

and stop coming on my page, mad ass., stupid ass, MONKEY ASS BITCH.

[simbelene]

PSA: Find your resolve and move the fuck on!

These people don't deserve all the energy you give them. Wether it's over pixel shit in here, or actual problems irl, find your resolve and move on with your life! I sure did!

As a matter of fact, I found it last year when I discovered a folder of all of Hauzz's old cc 👀.

As yall know, Hauzz has been an archenemy of mine for a little while now. Well my "gotcha bitch" moment was finding all of her cc.

Not only did I find that, but Miss Hauzz is a whole hypocrite. I found a receipt for miss ma'am too! She doesn't want people sharing her content, and yet here she is, sharing people's content:

That's a checkmate for me. After finding all of this, I have no beef with her anymore. I feel like my problem with her has been resolved. Also, nobody really gets into that blender shit anymore, so she can have all her fun in a dying community. And if her 35+ years old ass still wanna be fussin at kids, then that's on her. People dont grow up, they grow old (Harrie case in point 😂)

Can we also get into the fact that let's be real,these creators are in these same groups as well downloading the same cc. They only wanna try to get mad when its their cc being shared. #StayMadAboutIt

Think about about now. The whole reason why people come on here fussin is for what? Mostly, they just want cc for free. Ultimately, that's all yall want. And the community has come up with solutions to that in the form of groups and chats.

So if you're still sittin on the internet being that damn pressed over a paywall, just find it on Telegram and call it a day. Perodt. Stop trying to stand on a soap box about it.

No need to write a 5 page novel over some shit you ultimately cannot control anyways. It's been made painfully apparent that EA(and the community as a whole) dgaf. So why should you? Save your energy for shit that actually matters.

Tired of the community crying about how they cant afford this and that. Just download it for free mate! We're not all destitute around here. Plenty of us got day jobs with disposable income. I'm speaking for myself when I say I got $5 to download some content and share it with the class. I mean, what else are they gonna do? *not* take my money? Please! They ain't got a job, they need the money more than I do! But please do go off about how it's "the community" that's poor. A lot of you can't even afford your own Patreon subscription. Have a couple of seats!

And while I'm on it, tell me, where has any of these callout posts got us? Nowhere!

Creators, where has all that dming links and crying on your Patreon got you? NOWHERE!

Y'all cannot be in here crying about the same shit day in and day out without actually making efforts to correct the situation. It's giving "I plan to be a victim my entire life". Yall like to be mad, but not mad enough to do anything about it 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Lather, rinse, delulu repeat!

The only people who linger on shit that happened 10+ years ago are people who are stuck in the past, unable to move on. Don't know how to let it go. I have plenty of irl friends like that, and I don't really converse with them that much because they always end up rehashing some shit from 2013. It's 2025. Surely something new has happened in your life since then 🥴. No? #oooooooof

Those type of people have no life goals or ambitions and they're complacent with the way things are, even though they keep on complaining about being poor, or not having this or that. Some creators been doing this since 2020 and still making less than a McDonald's employee 🥴 #oooooof

I'm moving on from having the same argument all the time. Keep fussin in circles if you want to, imma just enjoy the damn game!

We have so much access to all the paywall content for free, there's really no need to catch a case anymore. Especially when these creators can't/won't do nothing about it AND they be sending empty ass threats thinking that's gonna deter somebody (looking at your and your nonexistent lawyer Camuflaje 😏|Not you getting attacked by the roblox community 3x a year platinumluxsims 🙈)

Creators have been doing the absolute most over pixels, and its all for nothing!

Download their content for free, and let 'em cry! It's not like they're gonna find something else to do. A lot of these creators are between 25-40 years old. Old enough to find another mode of income. Old enough to be some of yalls momma. They should know and do better, and they actively choose not to. Thats on them!

Let them continue to live their stale and stagnate lives. We all got better things to do!

And I think thats all I have to say about that!

[sosos-adventures-dc]

April 26: First day in DC

Lets talk about the neighbourhood first. Arriving in Arlington was really cool. Lots of cute little houses, many of them having the American flag out front and generally just a cozy vibe.. Reillys house that she shares with 3 other girls is really cool. Its kind of small and made out of red bricks. With a backyard and a parking lot. Its just what I imagined houses outside of the city realm to look like. And the best part: their dog Daisy. She is the cutest. She is not afraid of strangers at all and just enjoys when people pet her. And when i went to the basement to get some good sleep on the couch, she joined me and this was the outcome:

Funfact: she snores with her eyes open.

I am sharing the basement with Reillys housemate Cassie. Her room is right next to the couch and she always tries to be quiet in the morning when she goes for a run. She is super sweet and always apologizes for waking me up even thought it is her space that I am intruding. Generally this is a great place to live in. Close to the metro, nice roommates, lots of shared spaces and a safe neighbourhood. And not to forget all the other houses that just look as if they were out of an American movie.

See the flag? This is something we could not do in Germany anymore. But here it is just a general thing you see.

Starting my first day in DC I checked out a cute little cafe nearby and got a chai latte. It wasnt as expensive as I thought it would be so I was quite happy. Sitting down with pen and paper I started making a list of all the tjings I wanna see and explore. Joeys and Reilly recommendations helped a lot to get a feeling of what is there to so and see. And so I took the metro to see the white house. And believe it or not I could not manage to find it. I arrived at the station and just followed the crowd along the road. But for some reason the whole road was bloxked and secured. Security staff everywhere and helicopters flying around. So I didnt manage to see it sadly. I decided ro check out the Washibgron monument instead. And well no tickets left. Apparently its quite hard to get tickets. You either show up at 8:45 (meaning you need ro be there at least by 7:45) or sign in online and try to get tickets at 10am for the following day. So I decided to just keep walking around and walk to check out the tidal basin..Sadly cherry blossom season was already over.

Aftee that I went to check out the Holocaust memorial museum. And that was quite depressing to explore. Especially as a German. But it was still very interesting to see the American perspective.

So after some history I got really hungry. And there are many foodtrucks aeound the museums area. They dont show any prices though, meaning that people just order and then have to pay so much.. it would have been 18 Dollars for a burger and fries. So I decided to check out a google recommendation. This was in a mall inside a very secured building. And when I finall got my sandwich for 8.5 Dollars it was literally the smalles sandwich I have ever seen. Welcome to the US.. it was still worth checking out. All in all a great first day in DC. Its actually not the end of the day but I can only put 10 pictures in 1 post. More will follow.