#it's like the two shows became yin and yang in those moments

[agir1ukn0w]

it kinda kills me that the "we were all scared" speech in band of brothers (the more heartwarming show) is about being a perfect killing machine and accepting the fact that you're already dead, while the "we're all afraid" speech in the pacific (the more brutal show) is about being there for your fellow soldiers and believing in the goodness of what you fight for.

[slytherinboysappreciation]

Mattheo/Theodore x m reader

Straight boy mattheo who's getting with the prettiest girl in his house but he doesn't wanna be a total loser at kissing yk? So what's better than making you, his best bro, practice with him?

Obviously, with some trepidation, you do it and he loves it so much he chases after your lips even after you move away to critique him (imagine sitting on a couch w him and you move away from his lips to talk about what he does wrong but all he does is push you shoulders back until your back is flush with the couch just so he could keep kissing you)

Anyway, this slowly escalates into him getting a boner and rubbing it on your groin, begging you to "help me out bro"

Then after a week of practicing he gets with his dream girl and the kissing was a success, so was the blowjob she gave him! But he accidentally said your name while doing it and he blew it!

(Op you can choose how this ends)

Kissing - M.R. x male!Reader

A/N: Hehe this was fun to write. Difficult, but so much fun. I really really hope the smut is good 😬 The fix is unedited with no use of Y/N. If the ending seems a little weird, I’m sorry. I was really tired when I wrote it

This is the start of Mattheo’s bi awakening. Why? Because I said so

Fic does contain smut so NO MINORS!!

CW: Smut!!!; begging; Mattheo’s puppy eyes; Reader is in love with Mattheo; mentions of kissing; female oc; kissing; lots of kissing; making out; explicit sexual content; swearing; public sex; grinding; more begging; handjobs; cum; brief sweet moment; somewhat interrupted sex, I guess?; sex jokes; vague descriptions of blowjobs; several uses of the word ‘gay’; Mattheo doesn’t understand his feelings; Matty is a horny boy; mildly ambiguous ending; this takes place in Mattheo and Reader’s seventh year of school, so they’re both of age!!

1853 words

“C’mon, mate,” Mattheo begs, pulling you yet again from your homework. “It’s for a good cause!”

You look up, mildly annoyed.

The two of you are in the empty Slytherin common room, the last students there for the night. Everyone else is either sleeping or out partying.

It’s just the two of you, and Mattheo is set on annoying you.

He’s your best friend; your other half, so to speak. It’s been this way for almost seven years. He’s the yin to your yang, the fire to your calm.

Which he’s disrupting pretty majorly right now.

You exhale slowly, putting down your quill. “Just ask Pansy. Or Daphne. They’re good kissers, right?”

Mattheo groans and leans into you, giving you his best puppy eyes. The ones you can never say no to. “Please? I don’t trust them like I trust you. You won’t make fun of me or hold it over me like they will.”

He’s getting vulnerable, which means he’s being serious. Damn him.

You sigh and force yourself to look away. “Matty…”

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear! Besides, it’s not like, you know, we’re in love or anything. It’s just a kiss or two.”

And that is the entire problem. Because you are very much in love with him.

You’ve been pining after him since second year. Practically ever since you became friends. You’ve been head over heels for him, utterly and truly in love.

And he has no idea.

Which is why to him, asking you for kissing practice isn’t a big deal.

It’s all Seraphina Selwyn’s fault. She’s undeniably the prettiest Slytherin in your year, if not the whole school.

And out of all the boys she decided she wanted to have, she had to pick yours.

Her and Mattheo have been flirting for months. And she’s finally started to show signs that she’s ready for him to make a move.

He’s been giddy about it since it happened, gushing about it every time he’s alone with you. It just makes you feel sick.

But you can’t let him down, especially not when he’s giving you those oh so sad puppy eyes you can’t resist.

With a sigh, you nod. “Fine. But only a few kisses. Wouldn’t want anyone spreading any rumors about us.”

It hurts to say. But you can’t let him know.

Mattheo grins and scoots closer. “Alright! Teach me how to kiss, oh wise one.”

You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. He’s so dorky sometimes. “Just… come here.”

You reach out and gently guide his head to yours. You pause for a moment, mouth right above his.

Are you really going to do this?

To your surprise, it’s Mattheo who leans the rest of the way in. He presses his mouth to yours in a clumsy kiss.

It feels like sparks go down your spine. You shiver, eyes closing.

Mattheo kisses you like he’s hungry, like your mouth is a feast and he’s ravenous for it. He’s clumsy and eager, but has enough common sense to not try and shove his tongue down your throat.

You try to slow the kiss down. To show him how to move his mouth and such. It works… sort of.

After several kisses, you try and pull back. Not far, but just enough so you can give him some advice.

He chases after you. Leaning further into you in order to press his lips to yours again.

“Matty—“

He pushes your shoulders back, pressing you back against the arm of the couch. And you?

Your entire body lights up with sparks as he slides partway onto your lap. You can feel your dick twitch underneath him and for a moment you panic. He’s gonna feel you!

But Mattheo only moans softly and continues kissing you. He shifts his position on your lap, resting his hands on your chest for support.

You melt into the kiss, letting your lips part and your body relax. You can’t help it. This could be your only chance ever to kiss Mattheo; and if he’s into it, you’re not gonna complain.

Mattheo’s tongue slips into your mouth and you forget why you ever wanted to pull away in the first place.

The two of you make out for what feels like hours. Just mouth pressed to mouth, tongues gliding together. You pull back a couple times to breathe, and Mattheo always chases your mouth with his.

It’s hot. Painfully so. You’re made aware of your hard-on every time Mattheo shifts in your lap.

You know he can feel it. You brace yourself, preparing for the moment he mentions it. But he seems too caught up in kissing you to care.

He shifts again and makes a small noise. An almost groaning sound. You feel yourself throb when you realize he’s just as hard as you.

His cock, pressed right alongside yours.

He groans again and grinds his dick against yours. “Fuck, you feel so good…!”

You moan, giving a little thrust up against his hips. “Matty…”

He captures your mouth with his, taking the chance to lick against your tongue again. You melt into the kiss once more, unable to help yourself.

The two of you make out with more passion now, grinding against each other.

Mattheo’s movements start to get more desperate. More hungry. He’s practically humping your dick, panting and moaning into your mouth.

“Please,” he finally begs. “I need you.”

You bite down a groan, struggling to think straight. You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.

“Please? Just this once, I swear!” He’s giving you his puppy eyes again. “Help me out, just this once?”

You can’t help it. He’s so hot and you’re so weak to his puppy eyes.

“Alright. But only this once.”

You fumble with his belt, clumsily working with one hand to undo it. When you finally manage to slip your hand into his pants, Mattheo whines.

You close your hand around his dick, giving him as good of a stroke as you can within the confines of his clothes. He groans and presses into your touch, his dick twitching and throbbing under your hand.

You shift and squirm a bit until you manage to free him, finally able to stroke him like you’re wanting.

Mattheo moans like a porn star, thrusting into your hand eagerly. Greedily. He’s practically jerking himself off with your hand.

And you love it.

You match his pace, shifting your grip every now and then until you find what makes his hips stutter.

“I can’t—“ He sounds absolutely wrecked. “I’m gonna—“

“Come on,” you groan, your dick a weeping mess at the sight. “Cum for me, Matty.”

Mattheo thrusts into your hand once, twice, and cums. Hot sticky ropes of white paint your shirt and pants.

It’s too hot for you to even be upset.

“Merlin, Matty,” you breathe. “That was hot.”

He drops his forehead against your shoulder and pants out a laugh. For a moment, he just basks in your presence. Nuzzling against your neck like he’s gonna say something soft.

Then the sound of faint laughter breaks the spell. People are coming.

You hastily mutter a cleaning charm while Mattheo frantically tucks himself away. You both know you can’t deal with any rumors about the two of you being together.

By the time the drunken partygoers spill into the common room, the two of you are sitting up on the couch again. No evidence of what transpired at all.

Except for maybe your still hard dick, which you use your notebook to hide. You’ll take care of it later.

As people slowly head off to bed, you start to gather your things. Mattheo grabs your arm before you can leave.

“Can—“ He falters for a moment. “Same time tomorrow? I need more practice still.”

You hesitate. But only for a moment. “Sure. We can meet up in my dorm. It’ll be empty then.”

Mattheo nods, acting for all the world like you two are talking about a homework study session. You can see the gleam in his eyes though. He’s just as excited as you.

You head off to bed with your heart pounding. You and Mattheo. Kissing practice tomorrow.

You have no doubts what it’ll turn into again. And oh Merlin, are you looking forward to it.

One week later

“I blew it!” Mattheo barges into your room without knocking, startling you.

“Blew what? Who did you blow?” You sit up, curious and confused.

“Not who.” He rolls his eyes, unable to help a tiny smirk, even in his distress. “It. My relationship.”

“Oh.” That makes more sense. “With Selwyn? What did you do?”

He groans and slumps to the floor, sitting at the base of your bed. “So everything’s going great, right? The mood is there, the kissing’s fantastic; we’re getting it on, you know?”

You nod, listening intently.

“And then she goes to blow me, which is, you know, pretty awesome.”

Mattheo covers his face, clearly embarrassed by the next words he says. “And I fuckin’ say your name!”

You blink. Once. Twice. “What?”

“I say your fucking name in the middle of getting a blowjob!” He groans and lowers his head in shame. “It just slipped out. You know, coz of all our practice.”

Ah, yes. You’d given him several enthusiastic blowjobs during your week of ‘kissing practice’.

“Huh.” You lean back on your hands a bit, thinking. “So, did she break up with you?”

“No,” he groans. “But now she’s convinced I’m gay, and I don’t know what to do.”

You try really hard not to laugh. Of course she’d think that. Even when it was obviously not true. Mattheo was whipped for her. You were just an afterthought. Kissing practice.

“Well, is she still willing to date you?”

“Yes,” he grumbles. “But she’s as big of a gossip queen as anyone else. The whole school will soon think I’m in love with you. Which I’m not.”

You pat his shoulder consolingly. It hurts to hear him deny it, but you both know it’s true. Mattheo’s not in love with you, and will never be in love with—

“At least,” He suddenly looks doubtful. “I’m pretty sure I’m not.”

You blink. He’s… only pretty sure…?

“Saying your name during sex doesn’t mean I’m in love with you, right?”

You stare at him. “I think our kissing practice would sooner qualify.”

“Oh.” He relaxes. “Well, that doesn’t count at all. That’s just you helping me out, you know?”

“Yeah.” You nod slowly. “Right.”

“So that settles it then.” Mattheo nods. “I’m not gay. It was just an accident.”

You’re suddenly no longer sure. But you don’t say anything. He has a girlfriend now, for Merlin’s sake. You can’t crush their relationship off of doubt.

“Whatever you say.”

The two of you sit in silence for a while. Then Mattheo gets up. He stretches a bit, and glances down at you.

You can already see the gleam in his eye.

“Just out of curiosity, though…”

You sigh and pat the bed next to you.

Looks like your kissing practice isn’t over yet.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna

Usual warning. This is not a review. It's just me needing to put what I'm feeling somewhere. I just finished watching so there's absolutely no critical thinking happening here.

TL;DR: WATCH THIS SHOW!!!

Well I finally finished all of Tsukutabe and to say my heart is full feels small somehow. My heart grew. I remember when I finished the second season of Kinou Nani Tabeta, I was so overwhelmed with emotions and honestly I was not expecting to be in that place again. I called it magic and I have to echo those same feelings here. Because this show it's magic. It's a gift that makes me feel thankful that I got to experience it. I really have a hard time writing about this because I'm feeling so many things so I'll try to split it in smaller bits so maybe it sounds a bit more coherent. No promises though.

Kasuga I have to start here because she's my favourite, in case it wasn't obvious by my choice of pfp. She's so cute. I fell in love with her almost immediately. I've talked about this before but to see a character eat the way she does on screen healed something in me. The way she looks at Nomoto made me melt multiple times and her smile completely shatters this cold heart of mine. The episodes around her family had me bawling [normally I would wish for her father to be run over or something, but that would only add misery to Kasuga's mother, so I just hope he dies first] but seeing her put herself first and release herself from those expectations was amazing. Her journey was incredible and it was great that she was able to open up to Nagumo and Nomoto. I have to congratulate Nishino Emi for her portrayal of Kasuga. Considering she's not an actor (she's a musician btw) and this is her only acting credit, I thought the way she embodied Kasuga was really good.

Nomoto I adore her. Her happiness was infectious and she made me smile so wide. Cooking for your loved ones is just such the most beautiful thing to me and she and Shiro are the standard and everyone else can take notes. She's more open than Kasuga so we have more of an insight to her and to watch her awakening was amazing. It reminded me a bit Sakuko [Koisenu Futari] in the beginning. Her facial expressions always gave her away and it was such a contrast to Kasuga's reserved demeanor.

THEM The Yin and Yang. They are so different on the surface but the way they come together and create a space for each other is just so beautiful to see. They are learning from each other through these two seasons and growing together and navigating the realities of their relationship and what it all means and how it makes them feel. I just love the happiness in Nomoto's eyes whenever Saguka is eating her food and the happiness and little smiles in Kasuga's face whenever Nomoto got really excited by a vegetable or a finished dish. They are perfect and will live happily ever after. Period.

Nagumo This girl has my whole heart. I said this before in the notes but every time she was on my screen I just wanted to give her a hug. She's fragile but resilient and although she was a bit shy at first, the way she shared her story with Kasuga and quickly became the person she went to for advice was so good. And to see her getting help, finding relief in a word and hope in the future made me cry so much. And when she took that bite it made my heart grow that very second. And just as a aside, the fact that the show chose to have her eat while the others didn't notice and after they did, they still didn't make it a big deal made me ugly cry. Because that's the magic part. That when I feel that a show knows what it's doing with its characters. And the moment at the end in the job thing when she said she wanted to do something that allowed to talk to people had me clapping like a proud mama.

Chiharu I love her. I love that Nomoto had someone by her side from the beginning that she could confide in and that was supportive. And that when she "messed up", like with the wedding talk, she was given space to reflect and understand and give her friend the space she needed to talk about it. Cause it's okay to not be all woke - god, I hate this word - all the time. As long as people are ready to listen to each other and learn from one another. Also always happy for the screw marriage discourse.

Yako The ace rep had me clapping at first of course. It's so rare anywhere in media so it always adds points no matter what. So obviously... I love her. She's such an amazing supporter. She's so kind and open. Her relationship with Nomoto was wonderful but she and Naguma gave me some of my favourite moments ever. Because being supportive sometimes is just being present, is asking questions, is just listening to understand and not judge. And to want those around you to grow. That moment where she realized what the move meant for Nagumo and asked her to go for a walk was so good.

THESE WOMEN. I love these women. All of them. How they come together for each other, and the kindness and understanding made me ugly cry on more than one occasion.

The Food This show really speaks to me in several ways and I know I spoke of this before but I keep coming back to food.

You eat too much or you don't eat enough. Or you don't eat it the right way. Or eat the right things. Food is just sustenance for some. Food is joy to others. Food is what makes some of us get up in the morning. Food is to eat alone or together. It means a lot of different things to different people. It's food. You eat yours and I eat mine. Can we just not pay so much attention to this? Now that I got that out. Japanese shows are the best at using food in their stories. And more often that not, it's a place of joy and healing. And the fact that this series showed that food can also be a source of trauma and something that makes you different, as well as a place where you can heal is so important to me. Because I can relate to both those things. The dining table has been a place where I felt wrong different but also a place where I found so much joy.

The Magic Much like Kinou Nani Tabeta this show is full of magic. It was made by people that needed to make it, to talk about things that mattered, from a place of empathy and love. I feel like I was meant to watch this show. The universe conspired to put it in front of me. I understand this sounds super corny, and honestly if anyone else said this words to me I would be rolling my eyes way back into my skull, so I get it. But it feels cosmic somehow. Also fun fact that helps the magic of it all. One of the characters and I share a last name. Me, little portuguese me, and a japanese character from this show. Can you imagine the odds? And no, I have no connection to Japan whatsoever, and my last name isn't even a very common one in either country. So really it has to be magic, right? Also, I have a small confession. GL's were never my favourite. I'm enjoying 23.5 a lot for example but I'm never in a rush to watch them. I have a bias against them that I never really examined, except that I find that I'm much more critical of them so I enjoyed them less. But this show, these women, just moved the needle a bit. There are important conversations here, not just from a queer standpoint but from a female perspective that really resonated with me, so I might need to readjust some things. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings but this is already long. I'll be thinking about this show a lot more, and there will be giffing for sure so I won't leave these characters any time soon. Also, did I mention?, I LOVE Kasuga. SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME and one of my favourite characters of all time.

I already talked about the kindness in this show but I need to say it again. It's all about the kindness. These women. They are all so open and kind and because of that they are all better people and happier people. Maybe we can learn from them. If only we could be a little more kind to each other.

If you've made it to the end, thanks for reading💜. [A huge thanks to @furritsubs for giving us the opportunity to enjoy this masterpiece.]

[girl4music]

“Xena’s Quest for Transcendent Love

“WHAT WOULD XENA DO?” The question became a trademark of the syndicated TV series, Xena: Warrior Princess (1995–2001), highlighting the religious references that saturated Xena’s mystical universe. Through a crafty retelling of religious stories, the show subverted various myths and legends that have historically been created and perpetuated by those in power. Xena re-imagines a world through a feminine lens and draws from prominent spiritual traditions to center the series in an esoteric discourse that challenges the dominant ideology of today’s world religions, creating space for the possibility of a new mystical interpretation of divine truths.

The relationship between Xena and Gabrielle is described in language that’s reminiscent of the mystical texts describing a love of the divine. Xena’s quest is her mystical journey to unite her soul with that of Gabrielle: a union of her own darkness with Gabrielle’s pure light, of yin and yang, of good and evil. Xena finds that the Way of the Warrior is her spiritual path to union with her soulmate, which happens in the final moments of the series. Xena blends various spiritual traditions that expose its heroine to a variety of possible paths to her Truth. The retelling of these myths, and the creation of a lesbian subtext, find Xena as a disciple of the Tao, of Christ and the Virgin, and of an avatar of Krishna, all of which contribute to her spiritual quest.

Xena asserts that there are many paths, but that ultimately humanity is searching for a divine connection to the individual soul. Xena exposes the limitations of religious thought, broaching the possibility that spiritual completion can be realized by two mortals uniting as one; God need not be part of the equation. In this way, the notion of a mystical path has been taken out of the religious realm and brought into a secular arena, entailing unification not with a divine but with a mortal entity.

Set in Ancient Greece—and All That That Implies

The basic premise of the show is pretty straightforward. The show takes place in ancient Greece, where Xena witnessed the destruction of her village and the murder of her brother at a young age; she turns her anger inward by becoming a vengeful warlord and kills thousands of people. The show picks up during her quest for redemption, when “she renounces evil and resolves to spend the rest of her days doing good in order to atone for the misdeeds of her past” (Fillingim, 2009). She meets her sidekick, Gabrielle, and they set off to save the world from its suffering. At first glance, the show reads like an adventure story in which Xena battles evil armed with a hard stare and a sword. However, what brings the show to life is its meta-level awareness of its own dabbling in mythical, religious, and spiritual discourse.

The Xena universe is housed in a prominent oral tradition. By placing Xena in ancient Greece, the show’s creators can ask the kinds of metaphysical questions that Greece’s philosophers asked. The show even offers an explanation for why we haven’t heard of Xena along with Socrates and Plato: she has been written out of the history books by those in power (all men) who decided what to record. Throughout the show, Gabrielle is the bard who records Xena’s adventures in what become known as the “Xena Scrolls.” Thus what the audience is witnessing is a retelling of history, a recreation of our most prominent and indoctrinated myths, including that of Christ. But what the scrolls mostly contain is a log of Gabrielle and Xena’s adventures, including their many mystical experiences of reaching the divine through death and transfiguration.

The “meta” element to which I alluded concerns the way in which the show is aware of its audience, and particularly one segment thereof: the queer community, which is let in on this cryptic knowledge. The esoteric notion of same- sex love is a central subtext of Xena. These undertones give queer viewers a secret language in which to communicate with the Xena universe. The openly gay producer of the show, Liz Friedman, is arguably the catalyst for such content. In an interview, she acknowledged: “That’s one of the best parts of the job, getting to throw in references that I know the fans who are interested in that will pick up on, but don’t necessarily flash any irrevocable red lights” (B, 2003). An example of such innuendo occurs in season two, when the currently dead Xena possesses the body of Autolycus and instructs Gabrielle to “Close your eyes. Close them tightly and think of me.” As Xena leans in to kiss Gabrielle, the scene cuts to show Autolycus and Gabrielle kissing.

Another moment occurs in an episode in which the day keeps repeating itself over and over until Xena discovers the cause. A frustrated Xena lashes out at Gabrielle and her friend Joxer: “It’s not the Fates; it’s not Ares; it’s not something that I ate. No, I have no poison dart marks. I have no Bacchae bites.” A distracted Joxer then points to Xena’s neck and asks, “Is that a hickey?” The characters fall silent as both Xena and Gabrielle look away from the camera sheepishly. The hickey reference was Xena’s way of sneaking in a lesbian innuendo, a secret nod to its growing GLBT audience; and hey, the remark was tossed off during an endlessly repeating day, so no one will remember it, right? Similar innuendos—originally devised as a marketing ploy, perhaps—would eventually become part of the larger theme of redemption and love. As one critic observed: “As the series progressed, the sly jokes and innuendo turned into loving glances and a physical closeness that was increasingly intimate in nature, beyond the kinds of interactions one sees between ‘just friends’” (B, 2003).

Despite the subtext, there is no explicit affirmation of either Xena or Gabrielle’s sexual orientation. In fact, they both had relationships with men, but they always circled back to their eternal bond. Renée O’Connor, the actress who plays Gabrielle, admitted in an interview: “I think Gabrielle is probably searching for her soulmate and that she found it in Xena, actually. Having been through the entire series, she’s probably been searching for the love of her life, which is Xena” (B, 2003). The relationship becomes transgressive because it claims love cannot be defined in binary terms such as homo- and heterosexual. The relationship transcends the restrictive categories of human language, elevating Gabrielle and Xena’s love out of the human and into the divine realm.

Xena’s relationship with the Greek gods is always one of dysfunction, distrust, and disbelief. As the introduction to each episode announces: “In a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.” Xena forged her own path with a warrior cry and a sword. She didn’t rely on anything or anyone outside of what she knew. Her relation to the Greek pantheon was summarized succinctly by one critic (Fillingim, 2009): “In episodes where the Greek gods play a prominent role, the plot generally shows Xena’s moral, tactical, and intellectual superiority to the gods.” Xena finds herself within a myth culture in which she is not dependent on the gods but entirely self-sufficient, existing in another realm altogether.

But there’s another way in which Xena is influenced by Greek thought. In the Symposium, Plato describes a deep desire for a universal love: “Nor will his vision of the beautiful take the form of a face, or of hands, or of anything that is of the flesh … but subsisting of itself and by itself in an eternal oneness.” In this dialogue with the priestess, Diotima, Plato describes the quest for beauty—which Plato conflates with love—as a means of spiritual ascent: “Starting from the individual beauties, the quest for the universal beauty must find him ever mounting the heavenly ladder.” This knowledge of the divine may be considered a kind of esoteric knowledge that only a few people will acquire. According to Arthur Versluis, “Platonic philosophy is in some way esoteric, because it asserts that true knowledge is attained only by a few philosophers through deep contemplation while most people are deceived by the shadowy illusions of the physical world” (Bailey, 2009). In this scenario, Xena is one of those for whom this esoteric knowledge is not out of reach.

The Symposium does not neglect the purely physical attraction to beautiful boys, which indeed is presented as the first step toward the love of beauty in the abstract, and from there a love of wisdom, virtue, and the Good. Moving to Xena and Gabrielle, it is arguable that their relationship is not defined by sex but by the absence of any sexual category. In this sense Xena represents a universal love that is distinct from sexual love. The show neither labels nor defines the love between the protagonists, taking it to a level of transcendence that subsumes a physical union along with a mystical union of two souls. Reflecting on her former life of killing and revenge, Xena credits Gabrielle with her transformation: “Sure. I was trapped in a cycle of violence and hatred. And no matter how I tried to break free, something always pulled me back—until you. … You talk about trying to find your way, but to me, you are my way.”

Jesus, Mary, and Xena

This divine love between women is not a sexual love but an eroticized love. Briggs (2009) writes, “the death and resurrection of Xena and Gabrielle (homo)eroticize Christ but simultaneously spiritualize, desexualize and occlude any lesbian relationship between them.” The show plays on this eroticism with the footage of the crucifixion.

A similar eroticism can be seen in pictures of Jesus’ crucifixion where he is seen as mother, giving birth to the church, Ecclesia. The sentiment is expressed by the medieval anchoress Julian of Norwich, who wrote in 1395: “This fair lovely word ‘Mother’ it is so sweet and so kind in itself that it may not verily be said of none ne to none but of him and to him that is very Mother of life and of all.” Julian’s expressive words to describe Christ as mother derive from early Christian mystical writings in which Christ was seen as the divine tree of life, the giver of life itself.

This idea of an eroticized or ecstatic Jesus is developed further by Kripal and Hanegraaff (2008): “Western esoteric sources often describe the attainment of an ineffable mystical gnosis in erotic and sexual terms, that is, as a ‘consummation,’ ‘embrace,’ ‘unitive bliss,’ ‘rapture,’ ‘kiss,’ ‘cleaving,’ ‘marriage,’ and so on.” By eroticizing Xena on the cross, the series is not only connecting Xena with the Christian Savior but with an eroticized Christ. What’s more, Gabrielle is also crucified alongside Xena, implying a kind of unity in duality. The double crucifixion symbolizes two bodies dying to unite into oneness, one soul complete and purified in death. It is at the end of the episode that the souls of the heroes are seen to take flight, and, hand in hand, ascend together to heaven. The crucifixion of Xena and Gabrielle is the transcendent representation of the feminine mystical divine.

Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship is further eroticized in the final episode, in which Gabrielle attempts to rescue Xena, who has died yet again. To save Xena, Gabrielle drinks from the Fountain of Strength and kisses Xena in order to restore her by passing along the contents of the fountain. The kiss is reminiscent of the portrayal of Jesus kissing Ecclesia, which in turn is a reference to the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament. The Venerable Bede, an 8th-century monk, interpreted the Song of Songs as an eroticized love poem between the soul and God. If we think of the love between Xena and Gabrielle in this light, then it becomes apparent that what is between them is not a sexual lust, but sensual love that is divine in nature. It is love between two souls, two halves that have sought to become one.

At the start of the fifth season, Gabrielle and Xena find themselves in the spiritual realm, and Gabrielle tries to save Xena’s soul as she raises an army in Hell. With Xena and Gabrielle separated, Xena returns to the dark side, and it is their reunion that saves Heaven and Hell, restoring balance to the world. As Xena and Gabrielle are resurrected by their friends, Xena discovers that she is pregnant with Eve—an immaculate conception of sorts. Xena has become the Virgin Mary. “Her birth brings about the twilight of the Greek gods,” writes Kathleen Kennedy (2007). “But in the modern western world, the name Eve automatically invokes the mother of ‘mankind’ whose disobedience of God leads to the ‘fall of man.’” Xena is savior, mother, and protector of human life. It is through motherhood and love that she saves the world, not divine intervention. Write Kripal and Hanegraaff (2008) of this phenomenon: “In the depths of human sexuality lies hidden the secret of religion, occultism, magical power, spirituality, transcendence, life, God, Being itself. … We are dealing with a metaphysics of sex, itself intimately entwined with the destiny of the soul.” Xena’s spiritual journey brands her as savior, and mother, and all that is left is her final redemption in death.

Her Courage Will Change the World

Xena uses a feminist lens to explore the possibility of a world where the boundary between myth and reality is blurred, and where the esoteric meets the mysticism of divine love. The show relies on the esoteric knowledge of various spiritual traditions—as well as a lesbian subtext—to further its ultimate assertion that one’s mystical path is not toward God but toward the divine love of two souls joining as one. The show takes the audience through Xena’s spiritual journey in tandem with Gabrielle’s. Enlightenment is taken to mean spiritual redemption in which one’s soul is reunited with its other half. This oneness is the universal, divine love.

Xena makes room for the possibility of a mystical experience, a unification with something greater than ourselves, that is unburdened by dogmatic scriptures, the language of binaries, or other worldly limitations. In this way, Xena subverts the particularistic love paradigms represented by both Plato and Christianity, realizing a universal love that is rooted in two human lives but not dependent upon sexual love. This love is not strictly labeled or defined, but clearly it is a type of love that transcends death, a love that is ineffable, that literally does not have a name.”

This is it! This is it exactly! Xena and Gabrielle’s love was never a sexual love. Or at least it wasn’t depicted as being sexual. It couldn’t be of course. But they found a way to work with that by still erotizing it. By still illustrating that it is a very romantic type of love. Having them still kiss but in ways that provided a sort of “no homo” excuse for the network but still also providing something that of which was homoerotic.

I mean having them kiss as a water transfer is far more romantic and powerful than a kiss just to be a kiss because it’s about giving Xena the strength to fight. Gabrielle is literally reinvigorating her via kissing her. But at the same time, because she had to do it, they could get away with it happening. With showing it.

But that’s the perfect way to describe what their relationship is without giving it a label or definition in its nature that we can comprehend as a collective:

Transcendent Love.

Beyond sexuality. Beyond friendship. Beyond lovers.

But - at the same time - all of that combined together.

Their love was more emotional and spiritual in nature than it ever was sexual. But it was always romantic. It was always erotic. It was always an actual love story.

And no one was ever saying that it wasn’t ever sexual either. It’s implied frequently that they do have sex. It’s just that that could never be visually represented. And it didn’t need to be. It really didn’t need to be. You’ve got fanfiction for that. That should be enough.

[moirtre]

*    10 : 09 PM .    POSTURE:    jan. 13, 2016.

CHARACTERS:    melanie bae & yoon yeeun. WORDS:    739. WARNINGS:    swearing.

Easily attached. Those were the words noted by Yeo Joo-eun in Heri’s file after her 6-month trainee evaluation. Always a half-step behind, Joo-eun pitied the fourteen-year-old whose bold features never seemed to match her muted nature. Uninteresting, at most. Those were the words remarked by Jeong Ka-rin to her creative director when Heri broke down in the practice room at sixteen, heartbroken for reasons other trainees would’ve been overjoyed. 

Disappointment always seemed to hang over Heri’s head. Following her like a shadow, reminding anyone who glanced at her of the muteness that defined her personage. That muteness, somehow, never attacked her talent. Everyone knew Heri was talented— quite so. She was known for her voice, effortlessly high with a natural airiness. For her ear, musicality is embedded in her every thought. And for her kindness, like snow with its beautification of everything it covered. If it were not for the permanent sadness stitched into the creases of her eyes, Heri could have had her every wish. But self-sabotage never allowed for many wishes. 

Within the group, Melanie was regarded as Heri’s direct opposite. Where Heri seemed to dampen with melancholic disappointment, Melanie blossomed with poise— the same elegant poise that escaped Heri the moment she debuted. Jae-jin, the girls’ manager from the beginning, liked to joke the two were yin and yang. Melanie, known to scoff at any comparison between herself and Heri, liked to make the point that yin and yang were direct opposites, equal opposites. And Heri was never Melanie's equal.

No one quite knows when ‘Heri and Melanie’ became ‘Heri’s obsession with Melanie’. but sometime between their debut and Melanie's first solo project, Heri's eyes gained vitality. The muteness that dominated her bold features grew lost in a glaze of enchantment. For the first time, “possibly in her life” (Naira was known to scoff at any mention of Heri), Heri allowed herself to be. Casting a wish as blissfully as the white snow cataloged on gorgeous winter days.

“It's like she puts you on a pedestal,” Juniper mutters half-heartedly. Melanie's eyebrows raise, making eye contact with the group's leader through the mirror. 

“And you don’t?” She speaks with a laugh, drawing an unimpressed stare from Juniper. 

“Personally, I think it’s cute. like-” she pauses. “When was the last time she looked like- I don’t know… like she didn’t dread her existence?” Juniper giggles at this, deep dimples appearing in her pale, apple cheeks. 

“Can't remember.” 

Melanie hums in affirmation of her point. A brief silence enveloped the two girls before Melanie spoke up once more. “Apparently she’s pretty good at making songs. like, producing them.” 

It is Juniper's eyebrows that rise this time, surprised brown eyes watching Melanie and anticipating her next words. 

“Jae-jin told me they’re giving her a chance. She might end up producing something with Carter for some kids’ show.” 

“So they're like… testing her.” Melanie nods, “Yeah, Carter gets to evaluate her, see how good she really is—” 

“Potentially make her cry.” 

Juniper interrupts, adding in the thought with a brief chuckle released from Melanie.

“He's excited about it for some reason. Don’t know why, really.” 

“Mels,” Juniper begins, sending the golden-haired singer a deadpan look. “Because he can be an asshole to her and get paid for it.”

She nods, slowly, pensive in her agreement. “He's mean for free, getting paid for it? That’s like- the perfect scenario for him.” Juniper mutters, shifting in her position perched on her closest friend's bed sheets. 

“How do you think it’s gonna go for her?” Juniper speaks up quietly, almost as if she was afraid of posing the question. Her gentle fear is validated through Melanie’s casual scoff accompanied by a roll of her eyes.

“Honestly? I don’t give a fuck.”

Juniper's eyebrows shoot up in surprise once again. Despite her increasing awareness of how much Melanie resented the group’s second-youngest, the depth of her disdain for Heri never ceased to catch Juniper off guard.

“I want her gone. If Carter can’t manage to do that, I’ll go to Trenton— shit, even Ka-rin if I have to."

Juniper breathes deeply, fear creeping into her eyes as she takes in the words of the woman she’s looked up to since she first entered the company. In that moment Juniper understood the depths of Heri’s reverence for the group’s most popular member.

And Juniper knew better than anyone else that when Melanie Bae wanted something, she would get it.

[rinofwater]

Okay okay okay so I've wanted to respond to this post for a while now because it's definitely one of those interesting ambiguous discussions you can have around the show and I'm still not going to be coming away with a solid answer but just some things my friend and I have discovered in the symbolism around the otherself that are worth considering and throwing into the discussion

First and foremost, there is a time or two we see them separately, but it's hard to tell when it's meant to be taken literally and when it's artistic license (Nopperu Bou is heavily implied to be happening in Ochou's mind so by the time the two them are on the screen together--Kusu in front of her and the other behind her with the sword out--it could be a literal separation or it could be an artistic one in a mind space where reality is a little more fluid than what we think, like Kusu's still got the markings on his face while he's talking to Ochou but we can't see the eye on the back of his kimono to see if it's open or shut, and we can also see the golden bands already snaked up and down the other's arms, but in usual release scenes you can see the colors and markings draining from Kusu's face and clothes and going onto the hyper form, and this is all of course assuming you don't ascribe to the take that he never actually drew the sword in the first place or actually did the excorsism and was just trying to get through to Ochou before she *really* became a mononoke like everything about this arc is wild and abstract right?; there's also the swapping off the mirror in Umi Bozu which is NOT set in someone's head but the colors get all weird when the hand-off happens as if they can only meet in some weird liminal space, so again, artistic license or meant to be taken literally? Who knows?)

With those considerations being presented, I now want to point out that a lot of the symbolism attached to the otherself is tiger symbolism, as opposed to the strong ties to kitsune and Inari that Kusu has. Like there's some promotional drawings that have him petting some tigers, Kusu napping on one while the other watches over him, the golden bands across his body compared to the swirls on his face look a lot like stripes and other tiger-like markings, and tigers have a prominent place in Chinese and Japanese mythology as being powerful guardians, kings of all quadripedal creatures, the earth-grounded yin to the dragon's yang. Tiger yokai (Byakko) even have while fur, apparently very similar in appearance to a bengal tiger (and with that barely off-white hair with the otherself, it just ties it in more). The yin energy also ends up being important too in this case because that's going to be your passive energy, your "lying in wait until you find the right moment to strike" energy, and since he can't come out until specific information is established, that could tie back in too

And MOST interestingly: there's a Japanese saying that when translated to English equates to something like "a fox borrowing the power of a tiger," which is to say somebody's acting like hot shit when they're not really, but when taken literally...we've already mentioned that Kusu has a lot to do with foxes, and the other has a lot to do with tigers. Also, in the Ayakashi Bakeneko arc, Kusu's very insistent that he's just a normal human, there's nothing special about him, even if he can draw the sword there's no guarantee he'll succeed because the sword is being wielded by a human (how much of this is a lie or otherwise a manipulation of the truth and how much of this can be taken at face value is...again highly subjective and up to interpretation, this is the Highly Subjective And Up To Interpretation show after all), but the way he insists on the distinction implies there's at least some level of distinction between the two of them as entities that exist in this world

What is that distinction exactly? I'm gonna be honest, after all that I have no clue, I've been trying to chase the threads wherever they might lead and that could still go with them being separate entities in one body or being two sides of the same person or anything in between, but I think it's at least worth bringing all of that into the convo

A question that pops up in my head a lot pertaining to Kusuriuri and Hyper.

Are they two different people? Or is hyper just a physical manifestation of Kusuriuri's power? Of course, we can't forget the options of Hyper being a different entity entirely that shares a body with him. (I.e shared body trope)

I love the idea that Hyper is an alter-Ego formed by the motives to slay Mononoke, or just a drive for good in general. I've read many pieces of fiction where a character has a so called alter-Ego, but none are ever separate from the host. Now that I think of it, do we ever see hyper separate from Kusuriuri besides his 'transformation' scenes? I can't wrap my head around it. It also bugs me that we never get ANY clarification as to what hyper is, and I think that's just what makes mononoke the thrilling, mysterious series that it really is.

[sokkastyles]

Zutara Month Day 10: Oma and Shu

I’ve seen some people point out that Zutara doesn’t necessarily fit Oma and Shu because the Oma and Shu myth is more Romeo and Juliet than enemies to lovers, and those people are not necessarily wrong. Romeo and Juliet, just like Oma and Shu, were never themselves enemies. They did nothing but love each other, but were forbidden from being together because of the feud. Zutara, in most interpretations, is less a “forbidden” romance and more a transition from enemies to friends to lovers. Most people imagine them growing to love each other after becoming friends, often after Zuko’s redemption and the end of the war. Nonetheless, the Oma and Shu story does share several parallels with Zutara that many fans have picked up on. What I want to do is examine some of these parallels from a meta angle, to look at the Oma and Shu story as it appears in the series and other similar stories that appear in ATLA, and to also compare them to similar stories in the real world, and analyze a bit the popularity of these various tales of forbidden love, why they are popular, and what their purpose is, as well as how Zutara fits into all this.

In universe, the Oma and Shu story, in addition to being a love story, is also an origin myth of sorts for the Earth Kingdom. It explains the creation of the city of Omashu, as well as telling the story of some of the first humans to learn earthbending. The message of the story, in addition to being a tale about love thriving between two unlikely people, and a cautionary tale about what happens when love is prevented from flourishing, is also a message about love being an act of creation and a force of transformation.

Love is brightest in the dark.

This sentence is a paradox, but it fits with the theme of balance that the show comes back to again and again, of breaking down barriers and deconstructing dichotomies to create something new, something more whole than the original. Something mirroring the harmony of yin and yang.

The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. We are all one people, but we live as if divided.

The above quote by Guru Pathik is also similar to Iroh’s philosophy, which he tries to teach Zuko.

It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole.

Iroh also says something in “The Crossroads of Destiny” that echoes the Oma and Shu story.

Iroh: Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.

Aang: What happens if we can't save anyone and beat Azula? Without the Avatar State, what if I'm not powerful enough?

Iroh: I don't know the answer. Sometimes, life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, [Aang earthbends the rocks away one last time. Iroh's fire blows out. He smiles.] you will come to a better place.

Iroh says that Aang is wise to choose love over power, while walking through a dark tunnel, and advises Aang to trust in the darkness to bring him to the light. Meanwhile, Zuko and Katara, two people on opposite sides of a war, share a moment of unlikely tenderness in a cave lit by glowing crystals.

Zuko in the crystal catacombs does what Iroh has been trying to teach him to do, to let go of pride and the need for power, and to instead embrace compassion and humility. Which is what he does when he apologizes to Katara. This is also part of what stories like Romeo and Juliet teach us, that pride and petty grievances are destructive, and that only by embracing love do we become whole.

I know the prompt is Oma and Shu, but thinking about that story and its place in the narrative made me think about other mythic stories that appear in the series, so let’s look at another one that has significance for zutara: Love Amongst the Dragons, Ursa’s favorite play that she took young Zuko and Azula to see every year.

The actual story of Love Amongst the Dragons, according to the ATLA wiki, is this:

The play features the Dragon Emperor, bound to mortal form by the Dark Water Spirit, and forced to adopt the alias of Noren. The humble experience results in Noren falling in love with a mortal, and through this love he is able to break free of his curse. The play concludes with Noren defeating the Dark Water Spirit and embracing his mortal girlfriend, revealed to be the Dragon Empress.

What struck me when I found this description was that this is, with some slight changes, pretty much the Chinese myth of the marriage between Dragon and Phoenix, a representation for yin and yang and harmony in marriage, and which I compared in a meta to zutara as well.

Like the Oma and Shu story, it is a story about unlikely love, and about crossing divisions. It also has a lot of similarities with various myths involving shapeshifting love-interests, often referred to as “animal bride/husband” myths (which beauty and the beast is a subset of).

The symbolism of the tale in-universe is in its connection to Ursa, and thus Zuko’s connection to his mother. Zuko’s connection to his mother is contrasted with his connection to his father, which is representative of Zuko’s destructive side. When Zuko was trying to capture the Avatar, he was searching for his father’s approval, to become someone that would earn his father’s love. Ursa, meanwhile, taught Zuko kindness and compassion, and told him that it didn’t matter that he wasn’t the most powerful or strong. That Ursa took Zuko to see this particular play is significant, a play about a godlike being, the Dragon Emperor, being humbled and learning to love.

Only with your glory hidden in false form could you recognize my devotion.

Though different, and originating in a different nation, this is another tale about love shining through the dark, about letting go of pride and choosing compassion. Animal bride/husband myths are often about seeing past what is hidden to see the truth. They are stories of transformation, and like the Oma and Shu story, are about the transformative power of love.

It’s also from this play that Zuko gets his Blue Spirit alter ego, which Zuko uses as an exploration of his own identity apart from being the Fire Nation prince. In this story the same mask is worn by the villainous Dark Water Spirit. It is very interesting that Zuko uses an identity associated with water for this purpose. Also, like the Blue Spirit, the Dark Water Spirit seems to be a bit on the morally ambiguous side. Even though the spirit is defeated at the end of the story, its motivation for transforming the Dragon Emperor seems to be to teach him humility, and this is a message the play seems to promote.

Zuko and Azula’s dialogue from the above comic pages is interesting because it expands on what we already know about both characters. Zuko complains about always having to play the villain, just as he was made a scapegoat by his father and sister, and his adapting of the Blue Spirit identity is essentially him reclaiming that identity that was forced on him while trying to figure out who he really is. Azula sees herself as the Dragon Emperor, but she misunderstands the message of the story completely, and it’s not a coincidence that she talks over the love scene in the comic above and responds angrily and pridefully to the man who tries to shush her. Similar to Ozai when he names himself the Phoenix King, ironically misinterpreting the actual myth. I also think there’s something interesting to say about gender here, as this post points out. Not only does Ozai associate himself with a female figure, but Azula associates herself with the male Dragon Emperor, while Zuko is associated with the more feminine water spirit (water being a feminine element.) However, by the end of the series, Zuko embodies the transformed Dragon Emperor, while Katara I associated before with the Phoenix/Dragon Empress, as she is associated with healing and rebirth. Also notice the red and blue color coding in the comic page above, both with the Water Spirit and Dragon Emperor and in the coloring of the two lovers.

This also brings me to another play present in the series, the play that the gaang goes to see performed by the Ember Island Players. The same players that Zuko says his mother took him to see. The play we see them put on in the series is a Fire Nation propaganda play, promoting Ozai and the war. I actually can’t imagine that Love Amongst the Dragons, a play about a Dragon Emperor learning humility, was very popular during Ozai’s reign. We hear about it being performed before Ozai became Fire Lord, but we can assume that those visits to the theatre stopped after Ursa’s disappearance. The only other time we hear about that particular play being performed is after the end of the war. This leads me to imagine that it was necessary for the Ember Island Players to find a different play to perform while Ozai was in charge. While the play is not necessarily subverting Fire Nation superiority (the villain is a water spirit, after all), it is confrontational enough that I can imagine Ozai’s brand of narcissism seeing it as a challenge to his authority. Ozai who disdained love in favor of power and control.

“The Boy in the Iceberg” contains another love story between two people from opposite sides in their depiction of Zuko and Katara in the crystal catacombs. I wrote before about how I’ve seen interpretations of this that say that the Fire Nation was trying to portray zutara as an “inferior” Water Tribe woman falling for a “superior” Fire Nation man - essentially saying that the play is in favor of zutara as a piece of Fire Nation pro-colonization propaganda - but the problem with this is that that isn’t how zutara is depicted in the play. The play mocks zutara by portraying Zuko as submissive and subservient to Aang, and Zuko is later killed, as he is currently a traitor and threat to the Fire Nation. Thus, the “romance” between Zuko and Katara is not being depicted as supporting the superior masculinity of Fire Nation men, but rather portraying Zuko, who willingly chose to dissasociate himself with the Fire Nation, as emasculated and submissive to other, “lesser” men and aggressive “foreign” women.

This is a complete mockery of the real connection that Zuko and Katara had in the catacombs, the kind of love that is inherently subversive because it requires Zuko humbling himself in front of Katara and admitting that he was wrong, and working for her forgiveness. It is the kind of love that the Fire Nation under Ozai’s rule rejects. The kind of love that is truly transformative, revelatory, and brings light to the darkness. The kind of love that creates rather than destroys, that unifies rather than divides. That is humble and not prideful. That’s the appeal of zutara.

[thesoundofanicefall]

Midday, Midnight, the Lotus Flower between them

Alright everyone! Time to talk about the meaning of Mahiru's, Shinya's and Guren's names a bit!

I did promised it before to talk about this and as I could successfully pass my today exam with full mark! Then~ I wanna write it down as some kind of gift to myself lol

Before starting as you may know I dislike writing long theories so I just go straight to the main points!

Why Shinya and Mahiru's names are opposite of each others?!

Is it just some random names or Kagami has plans for them??

Absolutely the second option because we saw how much the meaning of names played important roles all this time.

What I want to say and think Kagami wants to use is this

This is the Yin and Yang cycle in Chinese culture with lots of deep meanings and one of them is that when something creats in this world, its oposite will also creat along with it too.

Just like right when the light created the darkness also created along with it too and actually one gives birth to another and these two always replace with each others.

Directly to the main point:

We all know Mahiru was a good and kind girl when she was a kid although she sounds to be a bit manipulating even as a kid too (in light there's darkness) but then she turned to nothing but a monster who destroyed Guren's life fully and finally forced him to fall into the same darkness she fell too.

Against this case that's Shinya Hiiragi.

A boy who had a hard past and even if he didn't have much choices his life he was the one who had a very dark past and his hands became bloody and dirty on a young age but even those times he was trying to makes friends and be kind

Just like as if he was trying to find light even on those dark moments

(in darkness there's light) but then he turned to someone's who was and is literary Guren's savior.

Mahiru showed the dark path to Guren before her death although Shinya showed the light path to Guren before his death and here is the point of:

Mahiru sounded too angelic and pure but she was nothing but a monster Guren finally found it out and accepted it too (Wrat19 volume 2 chapter 3) and Shinya was the one who sounded devil and stone heart but he was actually that savior who Guren always waited for.

As much as Mahiru ruined Guren's life, Shinya saved his life, gave him a reason to live and a reason to continue (Wrat19 volume 1 chapter 3)

Guren was like a sun to both Shinya and Mahiru (Kagami sensei's A & Q) but Mahiru ignored it although Shinya melted on its light and so the yin and yang cycle changed and one borned its oposite side again:

Mahiru and Shinya's places changed.

Shinya turned to the light one Mahiru turned to the dark one.

Maybe even that's why Guren's feelings chenged a lot too.

Crimson Lotus is a flower blossom in light of sun and day (not to mention that Lotus flower is the one who gave birth to Sun God Aten in Egyptian culture in the first place too) and we saw how much in Catastrophe at 16 novels Guren's all wish was to save Mahiru but now?! His desires completely turned to Shinya and all he wants now is to save Shinya instead which means how much Mahiru and Shinya's places changed just like the Yin and Yang cycle can change.

Also Kureto means twilight a balance between light and dark which we can clearly saw in his character that his nor a devil man like his father not a completely good human too but is a complete balance between both parts.

I also said this before too that in this story the symbols are not the usual one we always saw in real life.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4G-maagZciCsvpQFuKZvKAEYmiD5C97KI6iTo0/?utm_medium=copy_link

Someone who wears white doesn't exactly means that guy is the good guy and the one who wears black means to be the bad one! In this story the symbols are completely different just like how we saw it before in Fanbook of ONS that how Mika who wear white is the one who is in darkness and Yuu who wears the black one is actually the light one (just like how finally Mika turned to a demon and so yeah that was such spoil Yamato sensei gave us that time long ago)

And yeah so that was the post

Please share your ideas I'll be glad to hear them ^^

(@owari-no-edit here this one for you ;))

[pitch-pearl-void]

(The borderlands anon from however long ago)

So, I finished watching the show a couple days ago, because there were a couple things that showed up consistently in fics i that I didn’t understand (blood blossoms, some of the baddies, a handful of fenton inventions, etc)

First off, I still very much prefer pitch pearl to amethyst ocean or whatever the hell it’s called

And also, do you know where pitch pearl as a ship came from? I know there’s the episode with fun and super, but is that all there really was? Or were there more early fandom headcannons that supported them as separate beings?

Hello again! Sorry this took so long, I wasn’t sure how to answer 😅

Canon did a poor job with AO. I would even say it did it dirty, but it's popular enough it doesn't need that kind of support lol. If you really want to give it a fair shake I’d recommend reading fanfiction for it, but I understand everyone’s preferences are different. I personally don’t ship it because shipping best friends is something I have real issues with, but it’s not a bad ship if you want something that’s soft and makes you feel all warm inside.

Onto pitch pearl tho!

Tbh, I’m not entirely sure myself how pitch pearl as a ship started. I don’t believe it was because of the Fun and Super episode, largely because those two are rarely used in the ship. 

I asked someone else, and they thought that moment in What You Want when Phantom was first torn from Fenton as this colorless ghost might have been what started the concept they weren’t one whole person. Because, honestly? This ship goes far, FAR back. A lot of the older fics made Phantom into a voice in Danny’s head or a spirit that could separate from him at will without the need of the Ghost Catcher in order to offer Danny comfort. They had no rules because there weren’t any set way yet. The fact that Phantom could move and think independently from Danny was enough to get people thinking. It wasn't all romantic, most of it was borderline at best. They mostly focused on hurt/comfort and self-love, finding a balance between human and ghost with the occasional kiss thrown in.

Then there’s TUE, where Danny meets his evil future self and learns that his ghost half killed his human half after merging with Plasmius. It definitely gave more credence to the idea there might be more to Danny’s ghost half than simply having ghost powers. It aired before Identity Crisis, so it set the stage with a BOOM and had a much bigger impact on the ship. Phantom being seen as his own person is a bit more credible when he’s willing to kill Danny. It helped that TUE was a VERY popular episode. It drew in a huge crowd, and everyone was curious about what made the ghost half snap like that if he’s supposed to be Danny.

Supporting that idea is that a lot of the older art and fics took a darker view of Phantom in general, seeing him as Danny’s darker half or a ghost out for revenge after being imprisoned for so long. Even the name “pitch pearl” was created with that in mind. I always thought of it as “white hair/black hair” in the same vein as AO taking inspiration from Sam’s purple eyes and Danny’s blue, but when I went searching for the origins for the name, the old explanation set Danny Fenton as white pearl and Phantom as pitch black. The reasoning for that was partly their jumpsuits pre- and post- accident, but also because Fenton is human and “pure” while Phantom is a ghost and dangerous--because without Fenton, Phantom became Dan and destroyed everything.

For obvious and somewhat personal reasons, I don’t subscribe to that. But it does make all the art where Phantom looks evil while holding Danny make sense. I don’t like dark romance, and I’m personally thrilled we moved away from such a dark beginning, but it likely had a hand in the early popularity of pitch pearl.

If I were to guess how else it started when the source has them as one person, I would say it was most likely the fanart? Putting Fenton and Phantom side-by-side has a yin-yang appeal, and when they interact in art, you get the sense that these are two characters, not one. This was really popular when the fandom was much bigger than it is now.

For instance

Save Our Soul by nycken isn't a shipping piece by any means, but it could very easily give rise to the idea, especially if someone is new to the fandom.

They did not shy away from it being a self-cest ship back then, though. The idea that Phantom wasn't Danny was there, but I don't think anyone looked for evidence in the show to support it. That seems to be something the ship has evolved into rather than something it started from, and it is honestly my favorite way to see it.

I do have many headcanons about how they aren’t the same person in canon if you're interested! There’s the out of sync transformations, the title sequence and how Super and Fun are shown to separate in the Identity Crisis episode, Vlad’s inability to clone Danny, the way Danny talks to himself, just all kinds of things! If you want to hear more about those I'd be happy to answer 😁 (they'd probably be easier too lol)

But yeah, I think it was TUE and fanart. There may have been other factors (I think this was around the time Yu-Gi-Oh and puzzleshipping was popular too) because fandom doesn't exist in a vacuum, but I really couldn't say for sure. It's a ship that means different things for everyone who ships it. I like the psychological questions when they start off as "one" (the bonded peeps version) and enjoy the aus like soooo much, but others like it only for aus, and others like it as a crack ship, and then there are even others who like it as something dangerous. Some people love it for Fun and Super in Identity Crisis because they're just fun caricatures. It's hard to find the origin point when it has so many branches lol

[yinjiyang]

evcryopeneye​:

Raising a hand, Feng Wu shook her head, “the location is a secret, but Cultivation Sects freaking love everyone knowing what they have.” It had struck Feng Wu as strange when she had joined the Celestial Temple but then again, she was but the only child of a lower noble, how was she to know what these kind of lofty people were like? “It’s almost as if…” trailing off for a moment, she tried to think of the best way to word what it was she wanted to say. Her master had always told her she was too reckless with her words. “Anything they’ve got because they won a battle, or they subdued a demon, it’s a thing they’re proud of. Like look, here’s the sword of our arch rivals that we keep in our basement to remind the new kids we could kill them with our thumbs.” A little sarcastic but hey, the whole practice was a little stupid.

Still, despise the side eye, she was smiling. Food was a pretty good motivator, maybe it was warranted. Her trips to the market as a child had broken the monotony of the Temple, they had kept her going through the days where she’d wanted to smack people in the face. “Subduing culinary demons is a noble pursuit,” there was a light teasing, almost sing-song tone to her words as she nodded her head. “Next I want to try those fried buns in the town…” of course she’d payed attention to where the restaurants had been as they passed through. 

Feng Wu moved through the vault, taking it all in before she settled behind him, peering over his shoulder at the blank shelf, looking at where the object had once been. She took a few moments to think over his words as she spun around on her heel, more out of boredom and idle thought. A slow amble to help her before she shook her head. “No.” No, it wasn’t moved, had it? “Those men out there were caught off guard, there was little evidence of them actually hurting or stroking anyone…they weren’t ready.” Or rather, they were surprised. 

Though, you would have expected them to have dragged blood in here if they had come from the outside. 

Then she caught something out of the corner of her eye. A little metal thing on the floor, shining, bending down to pick it up, she grasped the bent wire of metal in her fingers. “Huh - interesting,” it was interesting, it was out of place. What would a woman’s hairpin be doing down here? “I think there was two of them,” she suggested, standing up straight and holding up the hairpin. “Someone snuck in here and took it, while the other half was up the stairs killing everyone.” Everything was easier when there was two of you after all, while everyone was fighting for their lives, no one would be coming down here. “Then they both walked out through the front door.” 

A heavy sigh left her, “whatever it was they took, was probably a book…everything that ‘s of monetary value is untouched, they were after power.”  

       The more she spoke, the more captivated he became.  Yin Jiyang was fascinated in learning more about this cultivation world, the different sects and the habits they formed--not because he planned on exploiting them or destroying them as his master seemed wont to do, but rather because he was genuinely curious to learn, thirst for knowledge insatiable as the void continued to absorb and absorb and absorb everything shared with him as though such knowledge could fill the emptiness of infinity within him.        So cultivation sects like to show off, liked to brag about their trophies and special artifacts, fear the power--he wondered, perhaps, if that was how that exceedingly lucky sect happened across a set of shackles blessed by Yang.  "Perhaps a sect should fear one that had no such artifacts," he replied softly, "that did not have to keep a trophy to show just how powerful they are.  The would show the new kids they could kill them with their thumbs...make making an example of one."  There were sects like that, he knew--he knew because his master had come from one, but it had not been well known--perhaps in whispers, perhaps because in ancient times, other sects feared its mention lest a spoken name invoke the attention of a fearsome sorcerer intent on destroying all things and creating a new world born from darkness.  In that sect, there were no sacred blades or enchanted flutes--only rigorous training and frightening power, cultivators who drew life force and energy from people and nature without so much as a touch.        Yin Jiyang hoped Feng Wu never met them; there were times he wondered if being near her was for the best, for if that sect found him, she would surely be in danger and him powerless to protect her under his master's command.  And yet...he continued to remain inexplicably drawn like a shadow moth to a bright flame.        That would be a bridge crossed once they arrived.        Thankfully, such dark thoughts could be distracted by the noble pursuit of subduing culinary demons, and a smile could be spotted curving his lips as he looked away to investigate their surroundings.  "Then we shall tried fried buns after this," he countered, more than willing to humor her whims.        With a new question posed as to how there was no blood in the vault and yet so much out of it, he found himself turning his attention to her and staring as though he could see the gears of her thoughts turning and forming new theories, a soft pensiveness in his eyes as though gazing upon something captivatingly beautiful.  He watched as she retrieved the hair pin from the floor, silently observing as she expressed her hypothesis of what had happened.

       "Unfortunately, it may appear the only ones who may recognize that hair pin are currently without voices."  Because they were lifeless upon the floor.  "As are those who would identify the contents of the stolen text."  He turned his eyes to the hair accessory, making note of the details.  "Though...at least...I may know a way to find the owner of that pin..." he confessed, slowly lifting his gaze to her face once more.  "Though you may not approve my methods."

[linkspooky]

White Wolf, Black Wolf:  Yuji and Geto

Dualism, is a common theme in Jujutsu Kaisen. There’s a difference between binary opposites and a completementary pair. Binary opposites supposes that two ideas are complete opposites of eachother, they are enemies and therefore cannot coexist. Death is the opposite of life. However, ideas like the concept of yin and yang suggest that these pairs are not opposites, or even enemies, they just exist alongside one another. The feminine yin contains a single dot of the masculine yang energy inside of it and vice versa. 

This pattern repeats itself with both Geto and Yuji. Two characters who seem like they are complete opposites, enemies, hero and villain and yet have far more in common with one another than one might thing. Each of them represented by a wolf, Yuji the white wolf, and Geto the black. 

Dualism - describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.

1. You and the Worst Person You Know Have More in Common than You Thought

Both Yuji and Geto are sharing their body with another existence. Not only that but a sorcerer from the previous era. Sukuna started out as a sorcerer, and one from the golden age of sorcerers. We don’t know who is in Geto yet, but they’ve made it clear several times that they’re not a sorcerer from this era, mockingly referring to the sorcerers of this era as beneath them. The difference is, Yuji is the dominant personality and Geto is the subordinate one. They even fight for control of their body in the same way, by grabbing their neck. 

Both Yuji and Geto have died, and then been improbably brought back to life one time already and had their body healed by the same person who seeks to steal their body. They also both died in front of their other half, their friend, Yuji dies heroically in front of Megumi sacrificing himself so Megumi doesn’t have to call Mahoraga, and Geto dies as a villain after his plan has failed executed by Gojo. Even the days they die are opposites, Geto dies in a clear sky and Yuji dies in the rain. 

They both eat curses. Geto eats them physically in order to store them and use them later. Yuji consumes Sukuna’s fingers in order to grow stronger. Geto’s Jujutsu is themed around his stomach, Sukuna’s is cooking themed. 

Yuji and Geto are both have savior / martyr imagery attached to them. They’re both people who have died, and come back from the dead at least once, and the jesus imagery with Geto is clear and explicitly referenced in hidden inventory. 

Yuji wants to be strong like Gojo, but it’s clear he follows Geto’s philosophy of wanting to save as many people as possible. What motivates him isn’t a clear and strong sense of individualism, but rather the idea that the strong are duty bound to help the weak. Even when Geto’s completely out of his mind he’s still guided by that principle, if he has the strength to do it, then he’s duty bound to try to change the world in the way he sees fit. The thing with Geto is his ideals are warped, but they’re still ideals, he has principles guiding him. These ideals also shockingly sound similiar to what Yuji says, and the burdens he wants to carry. 

It’s something that doesn’t change about Geto from the start to the end of Hidden Invenotry, the strong are obligated to help the weak, it’s just Geto flipped. he sees the sorcerers as the weak and oppressed people, and the masses as the strong ones. 

Geto and Yuji are both people heavily preoccupied with doing the right thing, whereas Gojo and Megumi kind of don’t care (Gojo) / have already accepted the fact (Megumi) that they’re not really saving people with their actions. Geto and Yuji are reckless saviors, they kind of just want to save everybody they see suffering in front of them immediately without thinking through the consequences of their actions. It’s never been seriously analyzed why Yuji feels so deadset on saving others, but from early on he seems to like the idea that it’s a burden that only he can take on himself. It’s something he must duty. The same way that Geto binds himself by the idea of duty. 

Geto and Yuji are just people who will take the whole world on their shoulders, and this isn’t just a parallel I’m making it’s one directly made by the narrative. When worrying about Yuji’s future, Yaga thinks directly of Geto someone who became overwhelmed by everything on is shoulders.

Geto wasn’t able to carry on as he once did, because he couldn’t carry the regret with him. That’s the parallel that the story is making with Yuji, that’s the danger Yuji is in. 

2. Worst Person You Know Makes a Good Point

Chapter 132 there’s a definite change in Yuji’s demeanor. While we haven’t seen the full results of his change yet, not only has he been phsically scarred on his face, but it’s clear the deaths of Nanami, the people killed by Sukuna, all have served to harden him. Nanami wanted Yuji to remain a child a little bit longer, but Yuji has now become a jujutsu sorcerer. However, the words he declares to Mahito have two clear connections to Geto. One, it’s what Geto said to Gojo to stop him from slaughtering the star plasma vessel cult in the moment. 

Gojo has feelings of course, but he’s not moved by them the same way that Geto and Yuji are. Gojo was in need of a tether in that moment and Geto’s words became his tether. Remember Gojo became so powerful as the strongest one he felt like he was capable of anything without feeling it, even slaughtering people on mass, but in that moment Geto became the link that held him back and reminded him he was human. 

What’s ironic is that Gojo was moved by Geto’s words and held himself back, whereas Geto wasn’t. It was Gojo who stuck to those words a year after the fact. He was the strongest, but he doesn’t ever act unless he carefully considers it. He doesn’t just throw power around or slaughter people the way that Geto does. 

What Yuji is vowing to do right now, following his duty as a jujutsu sorcerer without even thinking about it, is exactly what drove Geto apeshit bananas (you see because he loves monkeys so much. It’s a, ‘yknow, it’s one of them jokes). 

Yuji thinks he can just keep going on without thinking and being nothing more than a cog, but it’s exactly that kind of mechanical subservience that completely wore out Geto. Simply going through the motions without questioning it is given to us as the exact reason for Geto’s downfall, it’s one of the most chilling sequences in the manga. 

People aren’t machines, and they aren’t gears, they break down when they try to conform that way. So while it’s understandable Yuji would want to push away all his thoughts in the moment, it’s also not healthy.

The reason Geto became the way he is, is because he realized the laws he was obeying weren’t as fair as he thought they were. He thought it was his duty, and obligation to help the masses, until he looked at his actions with closer scrutiny and realized that wasn’t really what motivated him. Geto thought what he was doing was good, that he would save people, but then Riko’s death was a reality check to him that no one was getting saved by the current system. Yuji seems to have done the opposite of Geto so far. Perhaps I won’t save people. Perhaps I’m just a cog in the machine and my actions truly don’t matter as long as I can keep fighting with my comrades as a jujutsu sorcerer. However, that’s probably not going to work for him.

Yuji’s current comfort in his moment of crisis is that he’s fighting together with all of his comrades, that he carries the wishes of people like Nanami and that’s why he has to keep going, but Yuji also might not have comrades in the jujutsu world after this. We already see people like Kusakabe beginning to turn against him because of Sukuna’s rampage in Shibuya. 

So my intention in all of this is to say it’s not black and white. (Because, get it?? black wolf, white wolf??? Okay, I’m sorry I’ll shut up). Geto wasn’t an entirely bad person, there was good in him too. There was still good in him. This is what Getwo says when he’s beating on Yuji, that if Geto had used his forces more like disposable pawns instead of family telling them to fall back and making sure they all lived he would have won. 

The worst person you know, was still a human being who loved his family with all of is heart. Ideas like this challenge Yuji’s simplified reasons for fighting, and his naive view of the world. 

At the end of the day Yuji and Geto have lots of similarities. They’re opposite colors, Geto black, Yuji white, but they are both still wolves. They’re both moved by deep emotions they feel at the pit of their stomachs. They’re both people who sympathize with others and want to save them, and at the same time get angry and want to kill their enemies. None of this is bad about Yuji in fact it’s what makes him unique among shonen protagonist, he’s not a wholly good person, but just as flawed as anyone else in the story. Nobara’s crazy, Megumi’s crazy, Gojo’s crazy, and then there’s Yuji who should have been the normal one who grew up with a normal life and who is just as crazy as all the rest. 

If anything the parallels between Yuji and Geto show that Yuji is someone who has the chance to grow stronger than Geto by learning from Geto’s fault. Geto tried to carry too much, until the burden of saving the world broke him and he decided he could only save a few people the rest were just monkeys. It’s up to Yuji now to figure out what saving people means, and how he can help others without getting destroyed by the sense of responsibility or just killing himself and dying before he’s helped a single person. However, for Yuji to learn to be better he actually has to think about these things.

That’s also the second parallel to the “I don’t need to think about it’ Scene. (Besides, Sukuna who also declares that he’ll kill for no reason.) In the original Geto fight in the prequel manga Yuta declares this. He doesn’t know whether Geto is right or not, he doesn’t know anything about the world of Jujutsu he just wants to protect his friends. 

Geto calls him egotistical. In the sense that just like a child, he’s only really thinking about himself and his own emotions. Of course Yuta thinks that way because he is a child, a traumatized teenager at that. However, one important detail about this fight is defeating Geto did not cause him to go away. Killing him didn’t actually fix the problem. Geto just came back a year later with somebody else in his body. 

I think this is all leading up to a point for Yuji where he gives some serious self examination as a protagonist. It’s not enough for Yuji to just defeat his enemies. We even see that when after is triumphant moment with Mahito, Geto just wipes the floor with him.

Jujutsu Kaisen presents a very complex world, that’s not  just black and white, not just winning and losing. The next big step in Yuji’s character development is probably going to be realizing this. That he needs to seriously think about his reason. That he needs to think about what he wants to do in the future. It’s not enough for him to sacrifice his life to save someone else, he’s not a hero, or some martryr to a cause. I think the most important thing Yuji has to learn at the end of all of this is to actually live, and find out why he’s alive instead of resigning himself to the fact that he’ll get executed one day. It’s only then Yuji will be able to reach his full potential as both a jujutsu sorcerer and a person. 

He’s just a kid you know? The theme of the manga is kids should get to be kids. Yuji should get to grow up just like everybody else, instead of dying before he’s even old because he ate Sukuna’s finger to help someone else. 

[creepy-spooghetti]

How are you doing? Damn girl I missed your stuff about Ben 🌞 I'd love it if you wrote some things about him. Literally anything, when you have time and interest for this.

I'm doing well! Thanks for the hug ^^ You never specified what you wanted so what you get below is what my delirious brain came up with at 11 o'clock at night - enjoy anyway though!! <3

Ben Drowned S\O Headcanons

Ben has a reputation in a lot of peoples' personal AUs as being a sex-driven, perverted little asshole. but lemme tell you now, this certainly is not the case with our favorite Link look-alike.

Whenever the subject of 'love' or 'sex' comes up, especially around you, his ears turn all red and his whole body just kind of stiffens up as he goes into silent mode.

If he does start talking, however, he'll end up stumbling over his words, his voice will go squeaky as if he's teleported back into the early stages of puberty, and his eyes will look at virtually anything but you out of pure embarrassment.

It really is adorable, you must say.

It's moments like these when you lay on the PDA really hard, and you'll kiss his head, or snuggle into his side, even verbally tease him a bit.

"Hey, Ben, ya know what we haven't done in a while? Napped together."

"Aww hun, what's the matter? You're lookin' a little red."

"Ya know, embarrassment looks pretty good on you~"

He like, loves it but despises it at the same time; it's his guilty pleasure, in some aspects.

He's one of those that like to put up a careless exterior, but when somebody says the right thing, he'll pretty much just turn into a ghostly sludge of utter humiliation.

All of this was ten times worse before the two of you became a couple.

Someone could just mention crushes or attraction and he'd be dead.

This "someone" was mostly Jeff on days he wanted to embarrass him. He still does, it just isn't as effective.

You know, the first time you and Ben actually did something as simple as holding hands for the first time, he morphed into a pile of jelly at the rapid beating of his heart and the butterflies in his stomach.

But he just loves you so damn much, the poor boy can't even help it.

Just being around you can be enough to make him blush.

As your relationship as a couple grew, so did his confidence, and now he's chill most times you actually opt to touch him in any way, shape, or form.

Well, on the outside, at least.

But on the inside? His mind is going into alert mode and his insides just feel like they're swirling from euphoria.

I mean, who would have thought that Ben would ever get someone as awesome as you?

Certainly not the other Pastas, since none of them ever thought of Ben as 'boyfriend material'.

Guess he really showed them up.

Okay but seriously though, this dude may not be the smoothest boyfriend out there, but he tries. And he's so freaking sweet.

He regularly rubs it in Jeff's face that he managed to get a girlfriend before him, even though Jeff is like four years older.

Jeff only grunts and mutters, "who needs girls anyway?"

Ben is definitely the kind of person that will 100% overdo it on Valentine's day.

He'll treat it more like Hannuka to be completely honest.

I mean, there's gonna be a present for every day of the month of February, even when Valentine's day has passed already.

Heart chocolates for day #1, your favorite cookie for day #2, a giant teddy bear for day #3, a very strangely worded poem that's supposed to sound romantic but ends up just sounding awkward (he wrote it himself!) for day #4, and so on.

It's so sweet yet totally pointless because what are you supposed to do with all this unedible stuff? You only have so much room for storage!

But it's the thought that counts.

He won't really expect anything but attention out the yin-yang for days on end in return, but if you do get him a gift, he will be all yours for roughly 14 to 24 hours.

This boy gets excited over the simplest things you do for him, he is a major simp, I think it's safe to say.

But it's in the best possible way!

If you're ever feeling insecure about your looks or otherwise, he will pull you in front of a mirror, make you stare at your reflection, and ask you what you see. If you respond with something negative he'll just shake his head.

"Ya know what I see? A beautiful girl with all these adorable little quirks that make her unique. Her smile's adorable, her eyes are like looking into nature's finest jewels, and her laugh is just the best sound in the world. What she sees as imperfections are just the things that add depth and make her so great. And I wouldn't have it any other way..."

It's so corny but surprisingly grown-up for Ben's immature self.

Still though, it makes you tear up and you just wanna cuddle him for an hour or two.

Of course, he's very open to that. Then again, he's almost always up for cuddles, so.

Overall just really loveable, selfless, and affectionate. For big snugglers that love fun-sized bois, Ben is perfect for you.

[eleanore-delphinium]

The Gift: Chapter 2 (Childhood Arc)

Chapter One

Chapter Two: (you are here)

Jean & Diluc

Diluc and Jean became acquainted with one another at the age of ten and eight respectively. Diluc was a rather bright and happy child growing up and Jean was quiet and reserved. It came to a surprise to a lot of people how the pair got along so well.

In fact, Diluc could be considered rather rambunctious and reckless and Jean was cautious and critical. And because of that, the others who didn’t question how they got along, understood why they did. They were what they considered opposites attract, Yin and Yang.

“Diluc! Wait up for me!” A ten-year old Jean complained as she climbed up a rock with difficulty. She looked up from climbing and a hand was outstretched in front of her. It came from a boy with red hair and red eyes—Diluc Ragnvindr, heir to the Dawn Winery. Her silver eyes glittered under the sun with a hint of blue as she felt blinded and surprised by the presence of the boy in front of her as the sun right behind him.

She took his hand and he pulled her up. The wind blew her blonde hair around.

“Look, I told you that there were knights fighting some hilichurls!” The twelve-year-old Diluc said proudly. He had dragged Jean out so that they could look at some knights in action.

“I’m going to be one of them, Jean. And I will defend Mondstadt with everything I got!” His claymore faded behind him in gold dust, in her eyes it made him look like he was shining as he said those words. Her grey-blue eyes silently look at the claymore floating behind his back as it reappeared in gold dust again.

“You have been training hard.” She couldn’t help but remark, as it was after all the truth. He had been training very hard at swordsmanship at the age of eight, despite it being a skill he didn’t necessarily need. And when he got his vision at the age of ten, it was like the world was fully his, at least that was what he told Jean. But it was different for her, she had trained her posture and strikes with wooden swords since she was five and slowly changed into different kinds of swords as she grew and improved. Recently she had started using an actual sharp metal sword fitted for her. In her case, learning swordsmanship was a necessity. 

Jean is known to be the more responsible one between the two, it was a fact that Diluc had set his heart out to being a Knight of Favonius. And Jean wasn’t quite sure about her future, but it was already decided for her, as a Gunnhildr it is natural to be a Knight of Favonius.

She had just recently decided to take up the sword and try to follow her mother’s desires with a passion that should compete with Diluc, but she didn’t even know what her objective was after mastering the short sword. If it was something she even wanted to do.

“Don’t worry Jean, you’re going to be a great swordsman. I know it.” Diluc said, feeling that Jean was slightly upset. She looked at him with pressed lips, he has always known what he wanted to become.

“Says the heir to the Dawn Winery.” She mumbled, and he bumped onto her shoulder playfully.

“That is my Father’s legacy. Of course, I will keep that alive, but I also need to chase my own dreams.” He replied smoothly, she felt as though it must have been something he had known for a long time. 

She was envious of that certainty.

Diluc pulled her to hide behind a small bump on the ground. She quietly observed the Knights of Favonius by Diluc’s side and she was rather impressed with their fighting skills. She could only hope to be at that level soon. Jean looked at Diluc and she knew that the boy beside her would surpass the knights fighting right now.

“We should probably go.” Jean urged gently and Diluc looked at her with a slightly stern gaze.

“We just got here, Jean.” He responded quietly.

“But—” Jean said but was cut off.

“Don’t worry, if anything happens, I can protect you!” Diluc said confidently and in all honesty, Jean knew he could, he was rather capable for a twelve-year-old, but her innate nature wouldn’t allow it or perhaps it was her training.

“Diluc—” She tried again.

“They are over here!” A man called out pointing to the kids, and Diluc automatically grabbed Jean’s hand and ran away from the man.

“I can’t believe they found us.” Diluc said as he ran holding her hand firmly, Jean who was forced to follow him wanted to pull her hand away.

“Diluc, I think we should go back.” Jean tried to urge Diluc again.

“No, we just got out! Aren’t you tired of always studying?” He grabbed her and hid behind a tree as he silently observed if they were followed, and they saw no one behind them.

“C’mon, I think we can go to the Winery.” Diluc took a step forward but Jean remained planted on where she stood.

“That’s pretty far, Diluc.” Jean mumbled faintly.

“We’ve gone there many times before.” Diluc replied, keeping an eye for any movement around them.

“With permission.” She quietly added. “This time I ran away from training, you do realize that I will have to make-up for what happened today, some other day.”

“You’re just ten—they are overworking you.” He said sternly and she avoided his red eyes. Diluc was virtually perfect, he could be very good at something new and master it just as easily. And since he has a fiery passion for his claymore and combat, it was natural that he would more than just excel at it. He was at a level no one should be at—at the age of twelve, especially since he started late in training compared to her.

But the same thing could be said about Jean, she knew more than what a ten-year-old should know. But that was a result of the kind of upbringing she had. The sheer effort that she had to always display and give to please her mother, as the next heir of the Gunnhildr clan. And yet, she knew very clearly how Diluc had tried his very best to offer her a glimpse of a normal childhood.

Jean in a sense, aspired to be him in so many ways.

She was very much inspired by his capability. And his passion for justice. And his freedom.

“Alright.” She agreed quietly, even though in her head she disagreed completely. She will have to pay the price of what they are doing today, she knew it well. But looking at Diluc’s clear eyes, she couldn’t help but sigh in hushed tranquility. Diluc was always admirable.

And they carefully made their way to the Dawn Winery while Diluc kept an eye out for anyone following them. They arrived unfollowed, but they realized someone was at his villa’s front yard, Diluc’s father—Crepus was arguing with a blonde-haired woman, the same shade as Jean’s hair. Jean recognized the back of the woman before the woman’s voice could even register in Jean’s head.

Crepus' eyes glanced behind the woman, who had seen his eyes shift and turned around to see Jean and Diluc. The moment she finished her turn, Diluc automatically stood in front of Jean with a glare directed at the older woman.

“Diluc, you have been causing trouble.” Crepus said with crossed arms, but his eyes held the smallest hint of delight at his son’s antics.

“They are overworking Jean!” Diluc argued back with a stronger glare directed at the older woman.

“That is none of your business, kid.” The woman replied.

“She is just a kid; she should be playing around!” Diluc yelled and received a cold glare from the woman. It was cold enough to make him flinch.

“She is not just a kid; she will be the future leader of the Gunnhildr clan.” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Frederica,” Crepus called out to the woman in front of him and she tilted her head a bit to the right acknowledging him. “She should still be able to play around like a normal child.” There was a silence that passed by them.

“Jean, what do you think?” Her cold blue eyes landed on the girl behind Diluc who remained quiet in the presence of her mother.

“I do not dare to question my mother's upbringing. I am raised to be well equipped as the future leader of our clan.” Hearing Jean’s reply, Diluc could not help but clench his fists.

It is true that when Diluc was ten he had received his vision, and worked hard to do justice to it. He chose to not play around with children his age because he wanted to master his craft and join the Knights of Favonius even more now that he had a vision. But that was not the case for Jean and he was so aware of his privilege.

“Jean.” Diluc turned to look at her but her expression was steely as she stared back at him.

“When I went out with you today, I knew this would happen. It is inevitable. I thank you for the company Diluc, but sadly I will have to go now.” Jean gently touched Diluc’s shoulder whose face showed his guilt. “Do not feel bad, I wanted to join you.” She gave a faint smile. It was the truth that she wanted to go with him when he arrived under her windowsill earlier that day, even though she knew that there would be consequences that would follow.

“Mother, I apologize for my actions.” Jean stepped out from behind Diluc and approached her mother. “I will take responsibility for my actions.”

“Good, as it should be as the future head of the family.” Frederica said the cold stare from her blue eyes made Jean think her mother’s gaze was certainly made of ice.

“Jean, I—” Jean turned to look at Diluc and the sadness in her face made him pause.

“Till next time then.” Jean feigned a smile and did not wait for a reply from Diluc as she turned to look at her mother. “I am ready, mother.”

“Crepus.” Frederica said with a pointed look towards Crepus and a raised brow. “I would advise you to correct your son’s behavior, but I doubt you would.”

Crepus did not take Frederica’s words as offensive, instead he smiled and nodded to her pretending to take it into consideration. Frederica knew that he was just nodding out of politeness.

Jean followed behind her mother as the two went their way. Diluc’s gaze followed Jean until she was out of his sight and he thought that she looked so forlorn. But she never glanced back at him before she completely disappeared from his sight.

“I hope you had fun.” Crepus couldn’t help but say and Diluc finally turned his head to look at his father who appeared sad.

“I did… but-“ He looked back at the general direction of where he had last seen the mother and daughter pair. “Will she be in big trouble?” He added quietly.

“Frederica wouldn’t give her daughter a hard time, I’m sure of it.” Crepus replied but Diluc looked at his father with pressed lips. He knew his father was lying to comfort him, but Diluc nodded and slowly walked into the mansion with unhurried steps.

“Brother!” A blue haired boy called out to Diluc from atop the staircase, Diluc smiled when his eyes met the other boy’s periwinkle eyes.

“Kaeya.” Diluc said and his distress from what happened outside was completely forgotten after seeing his brother. He quickly walked up the stairs and Kaeya’s eyes widened with delight.

“Father, I will accept any punishment you decide to give me due to my actions!” Diluc said as he ran to his younger brother halfway through the stairs.

Kaeya was a year younger than Diluc and he was adopted over a year ago due to certain circumstances.  Kaeya used to be such a cold child, but with great effort, Diluc and Kaeya became close and Kaeya came to look up to his older brother Diluc with much love and respect.

When Diluc reached the top of the stairs Kaeya pulled his brother towards the library door. Diluc chuckled as he watched this playful child attempt to drag him away. He wasn’t always like this, it brought Diluc happiness seeing how joyful and playful Kaeya has become.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you two were up to!” Crepus replied as he watched his two sons with much love in his eyes.

“Kaeya, you seem way too excited.” Crepus laughed looking at his two sons, even though he is pleased in knowing how cheerful the blue haired boy has become after what has happened to him. Although he has to admit that he was very surprised to see that Kaeya developed a great respect for Diluc.

“This is for us boys only!” Kaeya yelled back to his father as he pushed Diluc into the library and shut the door behind him with a bang.

Crepus did not think that the slamming of the door was disrespectful, he knew that Kaeya was merely too excited and Crepus laughed wondering what the two boys could possibly be talking about.

“So, did you see her?” Kaeya asked instantly as he held his brother’s shoulder and Diluc laughed at his reaction.

“Yes, I did.” Diluc replied and his younger brother looked at him as he waited for more to be said. The joy in Diluc’s face slowly faded as he sighed and turned around.

“Based on your reaction, something bad happened?” Kaeya said as he followed behind Diluc who sat on a chair with another sigh.

“Her mother came here to pick her up.” Diluc said in an exasperated tone.

“Ah, that was what that was.” Kaeya mumbled as a frown formed on his lips. “So, you weren’t able to show her?” Kaeya sounded quite upset.

“Why do you sound more upset than me?” Diluc playfully retorted as he crossed his arms over his stomach.

“I went through all that trouble to distract our father.” Kaeya glared at his brother as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You weren’t even able to show her what this was all for. Jean’s mother is too much!”

Diluc stared at his brother who was obviously fuming in anger and laughed.

“It is alright, there are still more chances to see her.” Diluc looked at Kaeya, whose anger was slowly dissipating.

“Have you done your training for today?” Diluc inquired and Kaeya shook his head.

“Then, get your sword and let’s go out and train.” Diluc then stood up. “I will go and inform father.”

“Alright.” Kaeya replied as Diluc walked out. “I will follow in a bit.” Kaeya took a peek from the window and noticed the pair of blondes climbing onto a carriage with the Gunnhildr crest.

But on that day Diluc was gravely mistaken, he had thought he would see Jean again, unfortunately it would take three months to be able to see each other again. He had attempted to see her, but the security and Frederica would not let him through. He did not expect that she would go this far because he had forced Jean to ditch her lessons for a few hours.

Diluc’s mood had soured when he realized in the third week that Jean’s mother would drag this out. She might even use this opportunity to cut off ties. He was quite angry.

“Diluc,” Kaeya got no response. “Brother?” Kaeya called out a little louder in worry as he saw his brother’s expression turn dark.

“Brother!” Kaeya shook Diluc and the latter stared at his brother and sighed.

“I’m sorry I’m making you worry.” Diluc said, resting a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder.

“The Winery hasn’t hosted a party in a while. Your birthday is coming up.” Kaeya said matter-of-factly and Diluc raised a brow at Kaeya, catching on to what he was implying. “And a festival in Monstadt will soon follow, I’m sure something could be arranged.” A warm smile appeared on the red boy’s face.

“Yes. You are right.” Diluc agreed, recalling a memory from two years ago.

“A Party.” Diluc said and Kaeya couldn’t help but be charmed by his brother’s smile. One day, he too would have such charisma.

CHAPTER THREE

[milkshakecaptain]

There are certain interesting similarities I found between IchiRuki and Yhwach x Haschwalth relationships. Firstly, IchiRuki is known as a destined couple, they were bound by fate since their first meeting. Kubo literally named the first and last chapters Death and Strawberry. Bleach started because of their destined meeting, without it there would have been no series. Yhwach also implied that he had been looking for Haschwalth for a long time and their meeting was destined to happen. They have a very strong fated lovers connection like IchiRuki.

The more Ichigo and Rukia interacted, the more symbolism and basis for their ship we got. Kubo further confirmed their bond with symbolic poems about the Black Sun and the White Moon. Ichigo was called ‘the sun who locks heaven’ and Rukia ‘the moon that erases the night.’ Haschwalth also can be called a moon to Yhwach’s sun in a way he always accompanies Yhwach and never leaves his side. Yhwach wields the Almighty at day and Haschwalth at night, just like the sun and the moon.

Then we got the famous poem stating that ‘The rain drags Black Sun down but the rain dried by White Moon.’ It can only be interpreted as Rukia stopping the rain over Ichigo’s soul. Rukia was the only person who could help Ichigo to get out of his depression when his inner Hollow started to take over. Yhwach also helped Haschwalth by granting him powers and basically saved him in the past. It can be said that Yhwach stopped the rain over Haschwalth’s soul too. Both Yhwach and Rukia were saviors for their respective significant others. And in return Haschwalth and Ichigo wanted to protect their partners with all their might and became their protectors.

There is more symbolism to those poems. Black and white colors symbolize Yin/Yang dynamics and Kubo is of course aware of it. It means IchiRuki are two halves of one whole who complete each other and can’t exist without each other. The Yin/Yang symbolism is very strong between Yhwach and Haschwalth too. Yhwach literally called Haschwalth his other half, Haschwalth’s power completed his own and he even received Yhwach’s Almighty schrift at night. Again, it’s not only about powers. Haschwalth is the only person in Wandenreich whom Yhwach trusted so much to give his own powers. This shows that their bond is extremely strong if Yhwach allowed that.

Ichigo and Rukia share a spiritual bond which was obvious since the moment Rukia awakened his powers with her own reiatsu, and saved his life by doing it. It is important to mention that when Rukia pierced Ichigo with her zanpakuto she basically gave him a part of her soul, not just reiatsu, because zanpakuto is manifestation of Shinigami’s soul. And by doing it she grated him the power to fulfill his wish to protect his family. This level of bonding can’t be surpassed. And that’s when the most obvious similarity to Yhwach and Haschwalth relationship comes to mind. Yhwach also granted Haschwalth his power by giving a part of his soul and schrift B. It’s known that when he does so he also fulfills a wish for Quincy, by giving his soul something it lacked. Very strong coincidence I think.

It is said that Yhwach strengthened his technique to give letters for his Quincy, granting them more power this way. There is a strong possibility that Yhwach perfected his soul-sharing technique specifically for Haschwalth, because the latter lacked Quincy power altogether. So he needed Yhwach’s soul the most. Manga page which tells that Yhwach found new way of soul-sharing shows letter B. It can serve as a proof that this technique was invented especially for Haschwalth's sake.

Rukia changed Ichigo’s life forever, just like Yhwach changed Haschwalth’s life for the better. For both of these couples it was much more than just giving a power. With those powers Rukia and Yhwach gave them a new goal in life and became the most important persons for both of them respectively.

Rukia also opened a new world for Ichigo by granting him Shinigami powers and being his motive to engage into Soul Society conflict. Rukia was Ichigo’s reason to act and to become the Shinigami. And later Ichigo changed her world just like she changed his before, by fighting for her against the whole Gotei and pushing them to change their laws so Rukia can be free. Just like Rukia was a catalyst for Ichigo to start a new life as a Shinigami, Yhwach brought Haschwalth to Wandenreich and gave his life a new meaning. He was a catalyst for Haschwalth’s powers and the whole character development, just like Rukia for Ichigo. And Haschwalth served Yhwach in return, always being by his side.

There are two additional chapters 205.1 Side-A The Sand and 205.2 Side-B The Rotator, which have poems for Ichigo and Rukia accordingly. There are some parallels with Yhwach and Haschwalth in these poems too, not to mention obvious parallels with letters in the titles. In chapter 677 Yhwach the A compared endless possible futures that he can see to the grains of sand. In his poem Ichigo says that he needs power to crush destiny and to protect spirits. Yhwach also wants more power and constantly replenishes it, because he wants to change destiny which was so cruel and unfair to his Quincies. And Haschwalth the B can be compared to rotator since the sand was also depicted on his scales in the omake after chapter 680. That means Haschwalth also controls the sand of peoples' destiny with his Balance power.

IchiRuki got much more screentime interactions to show their romantic implications and dynamics. But the moments when Yhwach and Haschwalth were shown together also implied that they have special relationship and strong ties. Haschwalth was the only person who could talk freely with Yhwach and give him advices. He was also worried for Yhwach very much during the battles and was loyal even when other Stern Ritters started to have doubts. Sure Yhwach and Haschwalth got less attention, but the chemistry between them was notable. Their trust in each other is as solid as in case of IchiRuki. 

Both couples were done dirty by Kubo in the end. He forced them to act out of character. But before Kubo ruined the ending, strong bonds and many relationship proofs were obvious for both couples. Kubo's bad writing can't change their love.

[flightfoot]

Alix is canon aro so she for sure won’t end up with someone, but Max is ace. He’s never shown interest in romance outside of, like, Kim’s life, but I think it’s interesting that Astruc made the distinction instead of saying he’s aroace. I wonder if he’ll end up with someone, whether it’s a current character or someone we haven’t met yet. I can see fans in the future looking back at the fan content we have now and being like, wow, remember what Max content looked like before WhoeverxMax became canon?

It’s heavily implied that Chlobrina was kind of a thing. In Oblivio, Sabrina says she and Chloe play Super Penguino together, and Chloe tells her to shut up. In Miraculer they had that whole compilation that ends in them cuddling and napping on the couch. Between that and Sabrina’s little moment with Delmar from New York I feel like she will end up with someone by the end of the series.

A lot of people ship Luka and Zoe because they have similar vibes, which makes sense, but as of right now they barely had any interaction. Astruc said something about them not becoming a thing, but idk if he was talking about only s4 or the whole existing script. There’s also Lukagami because of their personalities and the whole yin yang thing that caused them to not work out with Adrienette.

Anyways, disregarding canon, my pair the spares agenda is LukaxMax and KagamixZoe for reasons I am totally willing to elaborate on. But since this is a fairy tale romance show, I imagine almost every good guy who wants to be in a relationship will have one by the end, and we haven’t had a new canon couple in over two seasons.

I mean, there's very little Max content to begin with XD. Mostly he's shipped with Kim.

Yeah, I'd say Chlobrina has some legs. I don't really want it to be, with the dynamic between the two of them, though.

Luka X Zoe makes sense to me, they're both pretty chill, I think they'd get along well!

...Okay I'm curious where you got Luka X Max and Kagami X Zoe from, I've seen a LOT of ML fanfiction, and I don't think I've ever seen either of those.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Take My Hand ~ Lucifer x Reader

For so many, even those who know him, Lucifer is an enigmatic riddle that will never be solved. A question with no answer. A blank, white puzzle.  He keeps his stoic facade at all times, overworks himself on anything Diavolo gives him, and if he runs out of work, he finds more, from somewhere that nobody, even the young Prince, has no idea.

He’s always so strict and proper, dresses royal and there is seemingly no imperfection to him. Hell, even Asmo, the most narcissistic brother, is not-so-secretly jealous of his beauty and dominant and mysterious aura that engulfs him, that makes him even more enticing than one could think.

So what is the mysterious of this overly strict Fallen, the one that God loved the most, the one that led the Rebellion of the Celestial War aeons ago, actually hiding? What emotions is he so desperately trying to hide behind those sharp, ruby eyes of him that read into you like infrared?

What kind of fragility is trying to hide being that frozen block that became his heart that aches and burns harder than the Sun itself?

Perhaps that is something that only someone with a fresh perspective shall witness, someone who walks around like a ghost, unnoticeable, yet her eyes are wide and attentive, that can peer right into the depths of anyone’s soul.

They are complete opposites, and yet, they are more alike than anyone could even begin to realise - That is, if they are so adamant to be ignorant, as they’ve always been.

Apart from Solomon, not one, but two other humans were brought into Devildom, and that is because fate made it so that Lucifer chose a girl that had a sister.

A twin sister.

So of course, you cannot separate twins, so Diavolo was okay with bringing both of them, thinking it would be reminiscent of the 6th and 7th brothers, especially for their personalities are like light and day, like the Sun and the Moon, both of them beautiful, yet completely different.

And that was quickly made obvious once they arrived, for the brothers quickly swamped all over the younger sister, since she was a lovable, social butterfly, an extroverted free soul who loves to fool around and bend the rules to breaking point.

The older sister, however, was an introvert of few words, yet all of them were meaningful. She was incredibly diligent and hard-working, studying since the first day in RAD, she was much too busy to even bother going out of her way to break the rules, and had to do everything in her power to get her sister out of trouble, including doing her homework, to avoid detention.

The eldest brother, the most attentive, was quick to realise that all the brothers were attracted to the sunshine like moths to the fire that they didn’t even bother approaching the zircon wrapped in a velvet handkerchief.

He was, however, completely drawn to her...Or maybe it was the mystery surrounding her that he was interested in? He read once, in a human book, that the most intriguing is the journey, not the destination, yet he couldn’t help but wonder if it was similar to going to one’s soul.

Y/N’s soul was pure, it was bright, it was beautiful and tempting, which went in complete anti-thesis with the facade she pulled for everyone - And just like twins are, like Yin and Yang, she was truly the complete opposite of her bright sister that held a dark soul.

But days began to rapidly pass by, and with each day, countless of problematic events happened, that made Lucifer, and not only him, pissed off beyond belief, at the younger sister, and the older one was forced to bare the consequences and solve the problem..

These continuous occurrences started eroding her soul, bit by bit, darkening it, overshadowing her light, and it was beginning to concern the raven haired man, for, in the end, it was still his job to make sure the humans are okay and comfortable in Diavolo’s Kingdom.

Exams were coming along, and Lucifer could see Y/N was beginning to become much paler and less talkative. He didn’t see her as often outside of the classroom, and even to meals that they would always share together...And he began to worry.

He knows very well that humans are very frail, weak and sensitive creatures, that constantly needed to be taken care of, and he knew very well that she wouldn’t have much until she’d collapse.

“Does anyone have a pen, please? All of mine have been completely used up, and I need to urgently finish an assignment.” 

Speak of the devil, Lucifer thought, as his D.D.D.’s notification sound popped on his study desk, where he, himself, was also working on his own assignments, and he chuckled at the coincidence, and pondered over if he should tease her a bit, to provoke her, or not.

Something that Lucifer always loved was to push someone’s boundaries...Not some pushover like Mammon, clearly, but strong, dominating people, much like Satan, much like himself. He wanted to see how far can he push someone until they get angry, until they lose their composure, until they show their true face, until their facade crumbles, and they are no longer the self they show to everyone.

It’s satisfying seeing others step on their pride...

Since he would never do that, clearly. He isn’t the Avatar of Pride for nothing.

Asmo: Nope! I only have my personalised, engraved pen, and I can’t give it to everyone! Beel: Sorry, I accidentally ate all my pens while trying to write my homework. Belphie is sleeping. Levi: I don’t have pens, I write everything on my laptop. Satan: I always misplace mine. I only have the one I keep in my notebook. Mammon: Lol, you’re doing homework? Hah, what a dork! Sorry, I ain’t using Goldie to buy pens! Why not ask your sister? Anyka: You bought 10 pens barely 2 weeks ago, how the hell did you even finish them? Y/N: I have a lot to do. Do you have any spare pens? Anyka: Lol nope x Ask Lucifer or idk Barbatos??

The opportunity is shining, so...Should he start provoking her? Or would that break her even more? This should certainly be interesting... And if anything happens, he always knows when to put a stop to this charade. “I have a spare fountain pen, if it would do.” he sent her a DM, waiting for an answer. “Perfect. Are you in your study, or your bedroom?” she sent an immediate answer, which made him smirk. “Study. If you beg me nicely, I can also give you the ink for it.” he was playing with fire, and damn, was it exhilarating. “You...Want me to...Beg? For a pen and ink? To do my assignments? I don’t think Diavolo would be pleased to hear that.” she typed after an obvious few moments of hesitation. “Sometimes compromises must be made in order to achieve your goal. You are aware, I am sure, that if you do not finish your homework for tomorrow, you will receive detention.” this was getting very interesting, and he couldn’t wait to see what her next step would be. “Fine. I will ask Barbatos then. Thanks for the offer. Have a pleasant night.” she cut him off with clear acid in her words, which made Lucifer chuckle in satisfaction.

She was though, and entertaining. What an adorable little lamb.

And it was true, she asked Barbatos, who told her that he couldn’t go over to the House of Lamentation, for he has to take care of Diavolo, and he refused to allow her to leave the dorms without someone by her side to make sure no stray demon attacks her.

That was a true bummer.

So...She had to step on her pride to get a stupid pen to finish her assignments.  It wasn’t even homework, but she still had hours of work she had to do. It was barely midnight, she couldn’t even attempt to go sleep now.

Going to sleep means obvious overthinking, which means lack of sleep, so better be productive and work, then destroy yourself more than you already are, doing nothing, while staring and cursing the ceiling.

Y/N sighed, breaking the pen in two out of anger, and wobbly got out of her study chair, making a bee line to Lucifer’s study and knocking on the door, waiting to hear the approval word to enter the room. She barely opened the door, walking in front of the seated form of Lucifer, who held his spare fountain pen almost mockingly in front of her.

He was watching her like a hawk, every movement analysed as if under a microscope, almost as if he was carefully searching for any flaw or mistake she would make. However, he could see she wasn’t well. She was sleep deprived, her complexion was much paler than normal, she had dark bags under her eyes...And her posture was slouched, almost sloppy. Lucifer knew she has always been a diligent person, so the homework couldn’t possibly be long overdue. She would have done it in the day it was given. So...What was the urgency? Could it be that...She was...Just like him?

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to beg for a pen, but, Lucifer, may I please borrow your pen? I promise to return it to you tomorrow, buy a new ink, to your preference, as soon as classes are over and I can go to proper shopping.” her voice was tired, just like her mind and body. She held no emotions in her words. It was almost as if she was intentionally damaging herself to make up for-

Oh.

Perhaps she wasn’t as different from him as he thought she was, and now, at least, he can better understand why she was deteriorating as fast as she was.

“You can keep it, I don’t mind. However, as the head of the student council, and the one who has to overlook this exchange program, I would have to advise you to take better care of yourself and rest, instead of overworking yourself.” Lucifer told her, with a less condescending voice, only to receive a sarcastic scoff, which confused him. “Tell me that when you’re going to follow your own advice.” and she left.

A chuckle escaped his mouth as soon as the door was closed, and for the first time in ages, he actually went to bed early...For his standards. He had to be very attentive of this one, however...She was much more interesting than he believed.

And the first thing he saw in the morning, as he stepped in the classroom, he saw Y/N handing a file to her sister - A file with all the homework for the whole week, that is - And now he could understand why she was overworked. She was going about life in all the wrong ways...Not that he should be one to talk. He knows his own faults, but admitting them to another is a complete different matter.

But things were going to take a horrid turn for the worst, beginning with Diavolo calling everyone for the Student Council meeting, only to announce that the exchange students were going to have a lowered pass/fail line anymore, but will have to work and achieve the demons’ standards and rise to the challenge given.

“If you’re going to control a demon’s powers, you need to have a proper understanding of them and how they should be used.” Diavolo said, which made him realise that the twins, somehow, managed to make pacts with all of the brothers...All of them, sans one. That one being himself, of course. “Hey, whoa, that’s a bit sudden, don’t you think? Exams are just around the corner!” Anyka protested, obviously shocked. “RAD exams are surprisingly tough.” Belphie nodded in agreement. “I’m sure both of you are going to do great, especially if you’ve studied a little bit throughout the semester.” Diavolo smiled, as usual, and the older twin mimicked no emotion on her face. “But...! But I haven’t! I had fun with the brothers all this time...What am I gonna do?! Y/N, say something!” the younger twin shook her sister, waking her up from her trance. “Hmm...? What should I say? He’s right.” she shrugged, not bothering to look at anyone. “I’ve already considered that, and I have a plan. Satan, you are going to be tutoring Y/N and Anyka up until the day of exams.” Lucifer dumped the responsibility on the blond brother, who was barely able to say anything from the shock of being put on the spot. “Oh, that’s perfect! Thank you soooo much, Satan! You’re the best!” Anyka jumped on the 4th born, who chuckled awkwardly. “Thanks, but I can do this by myself. If this was all, then I’m going to see you during the exams. Bye.” she gave a brief peace sign, before leaving to her room, no doubt continuing her studying.

Obviously, Lucifer knew she had it in the bag if she focused. She’s a smart girl, she won’t have any problem...If she stays healthy, that is.  There was something about her that made him want to approach her, to hold her face, to look her in the eyes and tell her to stop doing this to herself. There was something about her innocence and heart that made him want to protect her at all cost, even if that meant protecting her from herself. He pondered offering to tutor her, but what could he even tutor her about, when she clearly knows everything there needs to be learnt about the exams?

He wanted to kiss her hands and reassure her that everything will be okay, and he wanted to hold her tight and help her fall asleep without having running thoughts through her head all the time.

But he can’t do that, can he? If he were to approach her, she’d run away, like a scared little baby fawn trying to find her mama, while being chased off by a hunter. He had to be gentle with her, delicate, to lure her into a sense of security and safety...A warm haven by his side...

But can he really manage to do that, when he’s supposed to be the Big Bad Scary Wolf who punishes everyone and doesn’t allow happiness in the dorms, as per so gracefully described by his lovely brothers?

The first day of the exams came much faster than Y/N realised - She had no idea how time flew by so fast, it felt like she just blinked and bam, exam days - So here she was, drinking her 3rd coffee for the morning while writing her answers for the exam.

Caladrius Blood was the third ingredient for that famous ancient elixir that required Powdered unicorn hood and bittergrass root, for the Magical Potions exam from that morning...

A forest, what covered the surface of Devildom shortly after it came into existence, the answer for the History exam from the afternoon...And a three-legged crow being the relief sculpture at the entrance to the Devildom royal tomb...

Yes, these were all incredibly easy questions, she had no problem, clearly. And that was the same for the 2nd day, with the hexes and curses... And then came the practical exam...Seductive Speechcraft test.

She looked around the classroom with a frown, knowing she had to pair up with someone, but all the brothers were crowding around her sister, and she could only sigh, looking down with her arms crossed, not knowing what to do.

“Would you like to pair up with me, Y/N?” Lucifer’s voice rang soothingly in her ear, making her turn around, her eyebrow raised in confusion. “You...Want to pair up...With me?” she asked in a slow, unsure voice, which made him smile and nod. “Yes, is something wrong with that?” he bent down slightly, getting closer to her face. “No, of course not. I was just...Surprised that anyone wanted to pair up with me. Anyway, we should get started.” she nodded, looking away from him and guiding him to a more secluded part of the classroom. “You have to be the one doing the seducing. I am really curious how you are going to proceed. Could you, perhaps, be...Scared?” with his infamous smirk, he looked smugly at how her otherwise unfaltering facade began to break slightly. “No...It’s just...If I knew I was going to be the one doing the seducing, I would have put on some make up this morning, so I wouldn’t look like I just woke up from death after being buried for 100 years...No, make that 1000 years.” she corrected herself after taking a quick look at her reflection on her D.D.D. “I can assure you, your appearance, for us, demons, won’t change a thing. It’s the words and gestures that matter.” he let out a soft chuckle, watching her nod in acknowledgement. “Okay, if you say so, then I will have to believe you. Can you promise me that you won’t attempt to kill me...Again...No matter what I say or do? Trust me, I want top grades, and I’m going to do anything in my power to snatch them.” her voice now was much firmer, and it sounded clearer, more confident. It was clear that her pride and ambition were on the line, and he wanted to see how she was going to seduce him. He could feel electricity running through his veins from the excitement. “Yes, of course. I won’t do anything to you. In fact, I will be the human, and you will be the demon. You have all the power now. Amaze me, Y/N.” he watched her turn to the side slightly, as if preparing her A-Game face - He was expecting her to try out an impersonation of a succubus, since they were plenty in Devildom, but what she did...Was beyond Lucifer’s power of comprehension.

Her eyes held a glimmer of innocence and pity, her soul somehow seemed to glow with purity and light, just like it was when she first arrived. Her demeanour wasn’t assertive, confident and mysterious, but held a tint of submissiveness and glowing affection, as if she wanted to touch him, but she was too afraid to approach a deity.

He thought that, as he gazed with interest at the girl in front of him, only to be shocked completely by how sweetly alluring her voice could sound, and he almost felt the need to have her cup his face so he could melt into her warm, soothing caress.

“Lucifer...Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Have you noticed how your health is starting to decline? I know you are a demon, and a few hours cut off your usual sleeping schedule won’t mean much for you, but you are exhausted, Lucifer. I hate seeing you like that...Overworking yourself...Finding more work to get piled under, even if you’ve already finished your assignments. I worry about you, and your health...But more...I worry about the reasons for your overworking. I know you’re trying so hard to keep away all the intrusive thoughts that keep plaguing your mind...You think that working to exhaustion is going to keep your mind busy, so you’ll sleep without having to overthink.” hearing those words, Lucifer truly wondered if she had veela or succubus genes in her family, or if her tongue was laced with the sweetest poison there is. She slowly approach him, gingerly holding both of his hands, looking down, imitating a timid kitten, and guiding him to the nearest chair behind him, so she could be at his height...Just a little above, creating the perfect angle to change from a submissive expression, to a more dominating, seductive gaze.

“You’re always so concerned about your brothers, wanting to make sure everything goes perfectly, to the plans that you create, because if things go out of control, you are afraid they will have to suffer...Just like it happened when you led the Rebellion. You still feel guilty for what happened. You are afraid that they regret following you...And so, you are purposely hurting yourself...And this self-inflicted pain became your own sense of comfort and defense. You are afraid that, if somehow, you indulge in your pleasure and the pain disappears, things are going to go out of control completely. You are afraid of the unknown and what it could bring...But trust me, Lucifer...I promise you...They love you. They love you, just as much as you love them. They don’t regret following you. You are a family, and they are happy and content staying together, all 7 of you, together. You deserve to be happy too, Lucifer. You deserve to allow yourself a day off from all this mess, and indulge in your pleasures.” she was so close to him, whispering in his ear, then crouching down, holding his hands, keeping them together and kissing them softly, sending shivers down his spine...But more, he froze completely on the spot. He was shocked...His mind was almost completely blank...Because...How could she possibly know all of this? How can she speak like that? She’s just a human...So...How...? Surely, his brothers had no idea, so how could she, a mere human who came by less than an year ago, understand and know him so well? His heart was beating fast, and it was in pain. It was expecting...It was conflicting everything he ever stood for. A day off? A day for himself? A day of self-care? A day...With her...?

“Won’t you allow me to take away the pain, just for the night? Allow yourself to feel something else other than pain and misery. Allow yourself to be happy. To feel emotional pleasure. Allow yourself to be yourself again, only for a night, because Lucifer, you are not a robot, or a machine, you are not programmed, wired, or running or petrol or gasoline. You have a beautiful heart that feels so much, but you are afraid of the myriad of unknown emotions that are desperately trying to burst out and scream at you to let loose...Because you can. You showed me that you are capable of letting loose, when we were stuck in Levi’s game. Do you remember, Lucifer? We were up on the roof, you had your hair in my lap, and I stroked it gently...You were smiling so beautifully...So carefree...Because you had no worries on your mind or heart. You were yourself. And you were happy.” she put her forehead to his, speaking softly, barely above a whisper, but despite her tone, her words spoke loudly, strongly, into his heart, making it pump faster and faster, energy shooting through his every nerve, vein, artery and capillary...His mind was completely captivated, and his heart was captured. Without even realising, his lips were parted and his eyes were wide from the shock, imagining himself in this utopic paradise that she created merely with her words.

“All you have to do is take my hand and follow me. It’s simple. You can do it, Lucifer. Let yourself feel. Let yourself be...What do you say?” she was perfect. She didn’t break her act for not even a split second. The sparkle in her eyes was there from the beginning to the end, and he could feel her fast-beating heart - It was regular for her, as she had the heart rate of a rabbit - It almost seemed natural for her to persuade and sweet-talk anyone like that. Without even realising it himself, he took her hand, looking at her eyes with an expression of wonder, awe and complete fascination...Until she gave him a devilish smirk, and her eyes started glinting with mischief, which made him frown slightly in confusion.

“I won.” was the last thing she said to him before pulling away from him completely, retorting to her bland and pained, exhausted demeanour. “If I made even Lucifer look at me with glazed eyes and made him take my hand, to take him to some dreamland oasis, then I’m sure I deserve the highest mark in the class.” she chuckled with a deadpan expression on her face, not looking at him. “How...Did you do that?” he asked in a low voice, almost not believing what just happend. “Oh, that was possibly the easiest thing I’ve ever done in a long while. You see...I hold great pride in being incredibly intuitive, perceptive, detail-oriented and being able to properly read people...And their hearts. If I had Asmo, I would have told him that he has an amazing personality, and he’s not just all-looks. If it was Mammon, I’d have showered him with praises. If it was Beel, I would have played the family, Lilith and guilt card...And the list goes on. If you, however, are asking how I managed to say all the right words to you...Well...It’s a bit different...And personal.” she spoke, looking at the teacher with a half-smirk as she was given the highest mark, and rightfully so. “What could be so personal that you managed to speak to me as if you are some ancient demon who has been luring people for aeons with her sweet words laced with acid?” he stood up, looking down at her with a stern expression, yet his mind and heart were fighting a war of conflict. “...I told you everything I would have liked someone to tell me all this time.” the raven haired man could see sadness clouding her face, before leaving to her room.

That was a true experience for Lucifer, he couldn’t deny that to himself, and more, for the whole day, no matter how much he tried to work - Her words kept haunting him, and as soon as he picked up the pen, he immediately thought back at the exam and threw it back on the desk.

He tried taking a hot bath, tried listening to that TSL soundtrack, but she was the one to give it to her, after she spent a fortune on Akuzon for his birthday present, but of course, he thought back at her, and he had to stop the music altogether.

Everything he did, he was reminded of those words that held the flavour of the Poison Apples he eats so often, and it was driving him insane. He could feel his brain overheating, and the pressure on his chest was so great that he wanted to dig his nails into his chest and rip apart the flesh, take out the heart and stomp on his heart, because he couldn’t take it anymore.  He was a demon, and he was a heavy sinner - He NEEDED to grab her hand and escape the horror of reality. He needed to feel that he wasn’t bound by space, nor time, a body or a brain - He needed to be just one soul, bound to another, to feel no more pain, no more reality - Only euphoria, content, happiness, pleasure.

He couldn’t believe he was so willing to give in to his desires, and it was only because of her. It was HER fault. And yet, her last words before her departure from the classroom kept echoing constantly - 

“I told you everything I would have liked someone to tell me all this time.”

He was right all along.

She truly was like him. She was the only one who could properly understand him, and likewise, he was the only one who could take her pain away.  Maybe it was his guardian-complex, having to constantly look after someone, needing to be useful to someone... He needed her, as much as she needed him... Because, unlike him, she could easily waste away, as she is nothing more than a human resembling the first Snowdrop in Spring. He could resist until the end of this world, just as he has done until now, but she couldn’t.

The endless train of thoughts was interrupted by yet another knock on his door, that proved to be the same person that plagued his mind - The little lamb walked into the wolf’s den, almost as if summoned, out of her own accord.

To bring him back his fountain pen, along with the promised high-quality ink...It made him chuckle at how adorable and thoughtful she was being, without realising.

“...You are troubled by something. Do you...Want to talk about it...Or should I leave you alone? I did say some pretty heavy words today, I understand if you wouldn’t want to stay in the same room as me for a while.” she gingerly put the items on his study, not looking up at him. “How come you never looked me in the eyes until then?” he asked, looking at her from the office chair. “I...Was never able to look anyone in the eyes, in my life. Now even my sister or my mother. It makes me start panicking...I get intimidated and scared...So I look away. I forced myself to behave the way I was supposed to, but it was the last thing from comfortable. Don’t take it personal.” she chuckled awkwardly, stepping back. “I was surprised that your words had such an impact that I was ready to follow you...But would you follow me? Would you be able to do the very thing that you told me just today? Would you be willing to strip away that facade of yours, take care of yourself, and allow your heart to feel again?” he asked, stepping slowly in front of her, almost resembling a predator prowling to its prey. “...I don’t want to break down and cry, because if I do...Things will only go downhill, very fast and very hard. I’m...Usually on a downward spiral, but when the wave hits...It takes a long time to swim back to the surface...And I’m sure for how many more times will I have the strength to move and breathe.” she muttered, shuffling on her feet, and Lucifer could understand very well. He could see how frail she has become, and it was all because her brain was working against her so heavily, for whatever reason that was eroding her so badly. “If you promise to stay by my side, I will be here to hold your hand and pull you out of the stormy tides. I will walk next to you for your whole journey, until you get tired of me. You just have to take my hand and let yourself be...Let yourself feel. Let out all the pent up emotions, then smile at me, because you have a beautiful smile, and I haven’t seen it in ages. I know you are afraid...It is frightening walking alone, in the dark, with so many monsters around you, ready to gnaw and maul at you...By I will be there, waiting for you, guiding you with a flashlight, ready to hold and protect you...So...What will you do, Y/N? Do you seek salvation and happiness, or are you ready to give up on yourself and want to succumb to the bottomless pit of the abyssal ocean you were thrown into.” he mimicked the way she talked, the way she moved, the way she articulated her words, as he took his gloves off, touching her face and softly caressing it, bending slightly to peer into her eyes.

He could see that she was afraid - She was beginning to tremble, her eyes were glossy, brimming with tears, her bottom lip was quivering and the conflict of good and evil was obvious inside of her - Her hands were in the air, ready, but not entirely, to grab his hands...

“All you have to do is take my hand and follow me. It’s simple. You can do it, Y/N. Let yourself feel. Let yourself be...What do you say?” he mimicked her own words, wanting to see if it would be enough of a push for her 

Choosing was truly a mortifying experience, but she was strong, he knew that - And that was made obvious when her shoulders finally started shaking, her breath becoming ragged....

And she threw her arms around his torso, letting rivers and rivers of tears fall down her already exhausted face. Her body was so small compared to his, so small...And so cold, in his warm arms...He couldn’t help but hold her tighter, stroking her hair soothingly, putting a kiss on the top of her head.

“Please take care of me, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I-I don’t want to leech off of you...I’ve always been everyone’s therapist...And I know how much it sucks...B-But you’re the only one who ever bothered to show me any kindness and understanding. Please, Lucifer, don’t let me drown...I’m so tired of swimming...I can’t go on.” her sobs were so pitiful and broken that it shattered his heart and resolve, and all he could do was guide her to the bed, knowing she was too weak to sit up for too long, and started rocking her gently, as he would do with his brothers long ago, in the Celestial Realm, whenever they were upset or had a nightmare.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’m here, and I’m not going away until you tell me to. You won’t drown...You grabbed the lifeline the second you took my hand, and I’m going to make sure you keep floating above the sheen of the water and have no problem breathing.” he reassured her, knowing very well how hopeless it feels being in that situation...But now they could at least cling onto each other for help, support, love brightness.

“How...? How did you know everything...?” she asked, clutching on his shirt, almost as if the harder she pulled, the better the chances of survival. “Because the very words you told me are what you needed to hear the most.”