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stanknotstark · 4 years ago

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Commanding Loki (just kind of happens)

Summary: You’re not really sure how it happens but you begin commanding Loki, the God of Mischief, around. To everyone’s shock, he happily obliges to your commands.

The first time you do it in front of the Avengers they all kind of stop in shock.

"Loki, get me a soda before you sit down." You told rather than asked the God.

You were too busy looking at a tablet Tony had lent you to see him stop in his tracks. He glared at the Avengers looking at him, ready to attack him as if he was thinking about attacking you for giving him an order. They weren't wrong but only because you did it in front of everyone. Probably.

He got you a soda and sits next to you, rolling his eyes at your nonchalant thanks.

The next time it happened was kind of a life or death situation.

"Loki, leave the room right now and calm yourself," You checked Thor's pulse through the gushing blood which made him slippery as an eel, "You either calm yourself and I’ll let you back in or you can sit out there like a petulant child. Go."

Natasha looked at you as if you were crazy, her hands pressing a t-shirt to Thor’s wound tightly. Loki heeded her no mind though and did as you told him.

He was welcomed back within 15 minutes.

Next, you do it more to push boundaries because Natasha had a conversation with you after Thor's fiasco. She's finds it quite funny that he obeys you like it's second nature but if anyone else dared do it he wouldn't hesitate to threaten their life. Trust me, Tony had wanted to test his boundaries and tried to do it too. Needless to say, Tony wouldn't be doing it again any time soon, he was still pissy some very expensive pieces of furniture got destroyed.

So one day while you and Loki are hanging out with Natasha, like you all consistently do because you three enjoy silence but companionship at the same time. You look across at Nat and grin, making sure Loki doesn't see it and commence your plan.

"Loki," Loki looks up from his book on midguardian foods newly introduced from 1996 to 2010, a questioning frown on his face, "Pass me the remote."

It's simple enough, nothing too strenuous. Yet.

"You have two perfectly functioning arms." Loki mutters but grabs the remote and gives it to you. You give him a genuine smile and you can see he has gone soft in the eyes before he looks at his book again.

You glance at Nat with raised brows, she looks away with a smirk as you turn on the TV. Flicking through channels you finally settle on reruns of Stranger Things. Natasha gets interested and you kind of watch but mostly you're thinking about commanding Loki to do something else but what? Loki keeps looking at his book but you see him glancing up often to watch the show too.

"Hey, Cowboy," Loki growls at the name, it had come up when Thor told you he used to call him a cow for his horns, "Don’t sit like that you'll get scoliosis....if a God can get that." Loki who had slouched forwards blinked at you and sat up straight in shock from the bad posture. When you see him glower at the TV you smile, he's probably cursing midguardians for ruining his good posture.

"Thanks." You whisper.

Loki hums carelessly and puts his book down to instead watch the show. Natasha coughs into her hand (a hidden laugh, you knew Nat too well), Loki eyes her suspiciously, looks at you, then focuses back on the TV. You force yourself, with great resolve might you add, to not laugh. You let things settle again before you try the ultimate command.

"Ugh." You start, rolling your right shoulder around and poking at it as if it hurts. You're literally about to tell Loki to massage it for you but you’re struck by paralyzing shock. Loki had noticed your 'discomfort' and moved closer to you. Lifting his hands towards your shoulder he stopped and looked at you with a tilted brow, asking consent.

Aww how sweet.

You nodded and shifted so he had better access to your back. One hand landed between your shoulders on your back and the other pinching the area where your shoulder met your arm and began massaging.

Shocked you let him staring at the TV but not knowing what is going on on the show. Loki and you had touched before so it's not so out in the left field that you're concerned but he was massaging you in front of Natasha. Your thoughts turned to mush as he pushes and pulls your body so he could access all of your back and starts massaging your entire back. You couldn't help the little whimpers and soft moans of delight. Not only was this man a God but he was literally gifted God like hands, unfair!

After letting out another whimper Loki stopped. You felt him shift back to his original spot and so you did too. Glancing at him you saw a hint of flushed cheeks as he stared at the TV distantly. Natasha was outright staring at him with both eyebrows raised to her hairline, it looked like.

Loki cleared his throat and left with an offhand excuse.

Once Loki left the area Natasha's eyes fell onto you. She smirked lecherously but said nothing about what had just happened. Turning her attention back to the show when you shrugged your shoulders, completely flustered.

She asks, "So like, I don’t doubt Will is going to be found but does Barbara make it?"

You smile and settle into the couch, "You'll find out in a few episodes."

Natasha groans and you laugh. You know she hates not knowing but if she's truly desperate she can look it up on Google or ask Jarvis.

The next time you command him it's another crisis.

In short, Thor and Loki are arguing, both clearly in a ferocious rage in the kitchen. All the team is there to experience it this time too.

"No, Thor, I cannot simply understand why you would defend those inept idiots you call friends. If you think they're in the right you’re more brainless than I thought!" Loki yells at Thor who now looks like a kicked puppy and your motherly instincts kick in.

"Hey!" Loki looks at you shocked, this is the highest he's ever heard your voice, and probably the angriest too because you just don’t get mad. You have the patience of a Buddha God, Tony likes to say.

"You apologize to him right now, then you will listen to what your brother has say, and if you interrupt him I will show you just how minuscule a God can be to a non believer."

The entire kitchen is silent. Tony looks like he wants to flee the area, he's been on your angry side once before. Steve is practically engraving the table with his eyes. Natasha shrugs and continues eating her meal, the utensils clipping the plate the only noise in the room.

Loki looks at Thor and raises a brow. Thor, still looking at you, swallows and begins to talk, focusing on his brother again.

"Im trying to learn but I don’t know how to stay neutral between your feelings and my friend's-"

Loki opens his mouth but slams it shut when you snap your fingers.

"-i do not want to offend anyone but every choice i make I offend you and I’m sorry brother, I truly am. What can I do to amend things between us?"

Loki glances at you to see if he may talk now. At your nod he says, "Start by supporting your brother sometimes. I don't ask that you stand behind every argument between your friends and I but you never fail to support them, it seems. You can't please everybody Thor, and you can't stay neutral forever, at some point you have to realize that you have to pick a side and who's side."

Thor has lost to kicked puppy look but he now frowns and nods, staring at the floor with guilt. Loki's hand comes up, hesitates, then he places it on Thor's arm for a second and swiftly leaves.

When no one moves for a few seconds you clear your throat and they all go back to whatever they were doing before the argument escalated out of proportion, you included.

You realize you may have tiptoed the line of being fair with that last command so you let it rest for awhile, give Loki some space. He of course notices your avoidance because Tony had asked you what was up between you both, stating that the God had asked him if anything was bothering you. Usually Loki came to you with his concerns, not being the type of person to talk behind someone’s back.

You sigh and tell Tony you’re fine, that you’ll talk to him. So you head out from Tony’s lab and search for Loki. He isn’t in the living room, kitchen, or even his own bedroom. You remember him once stating that he likes read on the roof sometimes, Tony had build Loki a garden up on the roof at one point since Loki clearly missed the garden from home, Asgard. A small gesture but a true turning point for both Tony and Loki’s relationship you think.

Walking out on the roof you don’t see Loki in the garden so you murmur a few expletives and make your way back to the door when a voice calls out your name. You follow the sound and find Loki hidden on a corner of the roof, sitting on the edge of the building.

Walking up behind him you ask, “Can we talk?”

“You’ve never asked before, don’t see why you’d start now.” Loki says, no contempt in his voice though, it’s just very...neutral.

You force out a small laugh, hearing your own tenseness in it, “Ya, about that..”

You sit next to Loki letting your legs dangle over the ledge like Loki does now. His legs kick every once in awhile giving him an almost childlike appearance.

“First off, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Loki looks at you.

“I was out of line the other day with you and Thor. Not just then I’ve been, well, commanding you to do things for me and that’s...it’s not...right?” You finish lamely, your face a big grimace but you look Loki in the eyes when you apologize.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Loki says with mirth lingering in his words.

“Well, ya, is there some other reason I should have?” You squint at him suspiciously.

“No.”

Loki looks at you with an innocent look on his face, which you know is pure bullshit, but you let it slide. Shaking your head with a smile you then look out across the open skyline below you.

“Apology accepted.” Loki says after some time has past. Your shoulders, which had tensed involuntarily, now relax.

You don’t react, well more like force yourself not to, when you feel Loki’s hand come to rest atop yours which had been supporting you on the ledge. Loki lets his hand rest there before he gets more confident and intertwines both of your fingers. You smile, finally looking at Loki who is already staring at you brazenly.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Loki smirks then leans in, his left hand coming to cradle your head at your jaw and kisses you. At first softly, as if testing the waters, then begins to put more passion behind it as you lean into him. His tongue gently swipes across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to let him explore.

If you thought this man had God like hands....

When you’re both breathless you part but keep your faces close together. Your eyes roam over his face, noting how young he looks right now, how vulnerable, and bite your lip. Loki’s eyes drop to your lips and uses a thumb to pull your lip from your teeth lest you bruise them more. “Don’t bite them, it is my job to bruise them.” Loki says breathlessly.

Much later, when it’s dark out, you both come back into the tower and make your way to the living room. The first person you see is Natasha who, legit, smiles at the look of you two. Tony who notices Nat smiling looks where she’s looking and whistles at the two of you who decide to share a love seat.

“Shut up.” You command the two of them.

You were sure the both of you made a pretty funny picture. Your hair was most likely tousled, too much so to just be from the wind, and Loki’s lips were nearly purple with bruising so no doubt yours were any less. Not to mention the both of you were too incredibly happy, which ya you being happy is normal but it was almost an alarming amount of giddiness and Loki doesn’t normally show his emotions so openly like this.

Tony smirks, raises a brow and points the remote at the TV. “Stranger Things?”

You, very much flustered, clear your throat and say yes.

#loki x reader #loki odinson #loki #reader insert #one shot #avengers #tony stark #natasha romanov #my writing #dudes i literally had this thought pop in my head while out eating dinner with my family for mothers day #and i was constantly picking up and putting down my phone to write it all in my notes #like i always have the best ideas while out doing something or when people need my attention gdi #but enjoy #commanding loki (just kinda happens)

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witchygirl99 · 4 years ago

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finding a photo of your enemy as a toddler, inukag

Ask, and you shall receive.

1800 words under the cut. Not edited. Written at work so it was a shoddy rush job and everything is very vague and you'll just have to accept this.

I'll write a proper, better video gamer AU one day. For now though...

Won't You Say (You Love Me, Too)

The thing is—

The thing is that Inuyasha isn’t meant to be here. Sure, he’s a little drunk. And sure, Koga’s stupid face dared him, because Koga is both stupid, has a face, and that face is stupid. Inuyasha didn’t have to listen, though. Inuyasha could have done a billion other things, like walk away, or laugh the dare off, or – or – could have even gotten himself another drink.

That… That would have been the smarter plan.

Inuyasha hiccups, flinching at the noise. He is so not supposed to be here.

“Inuyasha,” stupid Koga hisses from below. It’s probably supposed to be a whisper. It’s not. It’s like…quieter yelling, but yelling nonetheless.

Haughtily, Inuyasha glares down at his teammate. The window that he’s jimmied open to break into the Priestess House is still open. It’s unseasonably warm for an autumn night, but it’s strangely comforting. At least, Inuyasha thinks so. That could just be the alcohol talking, though.

“Inuyasha,” Koga hisses again, “what do you see?”

He blinks, frowns, and then squints into the dark room. There’s not a ton of illumination from either the moon, or the streetlights. He thinks, dimly, that this is a…bedroom? A bedroom. This is not, in fact, the office that they thought they were breaking into.

[Read the rest below the cut.]

He takes in a deep breath, brain pinging at him worriedly. He knows this scent. It’s familiar. Too familiar. Inuyasha should know whose room he’s in and it’s on the tip of his tongue – his nose? No, that’s not a saying – when Koga makes another hissing sound.

Ugh.

“What?” Inuyasha snarls, so desperate to glare out the window at his stupid teammate and at said stupid teammate’s face that he nearly stumbles. Bracing himself on the little table underneath, he makes a point to roll his eyes when the wolf demon waves alarmingly at him. “What is so urgent that you need to—”

“I hear them,” Koga whisper-yells, because he’s stupid. “They’re just down the street.”

“What?” he exclaims, but this time it’s desperate rather than irritated. “I thought Miroku said the girls would be gone for at least an hour.”

“Well, his intel is shit,” Koga replies. “Now get out!”

So much for sneaking into their offices to find out if any of their playing strategies would be visible. The regional gaming tournament is only two days away, and every single member of the six-person Priestess team has been dominating the competition. Their battle strategies have taken weaker characters and turned them into something surprisingly efficient. It should be impossible. Character stats don’t lie.

And yet. And yet. The women of the Priestess House have made a mockery of nearly everyone there. And the worst of them?

Kagome Higurashi. The absolute bane of his existence. She came onto the scene about three years ago, rising up the ranks. Inuyasha hadn’t even given her a second thought until The Incident last year.

The Incident, in which she—

“Inuyasha,” Koga hisses again, like an angry cat. A cat. Not a wolf. Inuyasha should tell him this. Inuyasha is desperate to tell him this. “You need to jump out the window, you fuck.”

Right. The Priestess girls were coming back. Kagome would be with them and that would be— That would be bad. Not just because of the breaking and entering, or the trespassing. It would be bad because Inuyasha would have to be around her for likely more than a minute, which would mean that he’d have to stare into those dark eyes and that too-kind smile – like they’re friends, which they are not – and then—

“For fuck’s sake, I’m going to leave you,” Koga states, and that finally drills through Inuyasha’s pretty drunk skull. Can skulls be drunk?

No?

Maybe.

“I’m coming,” Inuyasha replies, pushing upwards, but he’s an idiot. The table underneath him isn’t that sturdy, and so his pressure on it to climb back out the window from which he entered sends a picture frame crashing to the ground.

“Inuyasha!”

“Oh my god, say my name one more time and I will murder you!” Inuyasha snaps. Koga is not helping, that fucking fuck. “Hold the fuck on, we can’t let them know—” And he bends down to grab the frame and put it back. Hopefully whoever’s room this is won’t notice.

And then he sees the picture in the frame, practically mocking him. It’s fucking Kagome Higurashi, no more than four years old and clinging to a small baby who looks distinctly unhappy by the entire experience. It’s undoubtedly her. While there’s more chub to her cheeks, those are the same sparkling eyes and that’s the same beaming smile. He would know that smile anywhere because it always makes him feel off-balance, confused. No one just smiles at people, at strangers. No one just smiles at you while they’re getting destroyed in one-on-one battle, and then shakes your hand with that same happy smile when they’ve lost. They don’t use that exact same smile when they see you again later in the year, at another tournament, and only stop smiling when they beat you so badly—

Oh god.

Oh fucking god.

This is Kagome’s bedroom. This is Kagome’s bedroom and he’s in her room and—

Kagome Higurashi at four years old smiles the exact same way, and she’s clinging to a little boy and that’s a big purple dinosaur right beside her on the couch. A dinosaur. She likes dinosaurs, oh god this is the worst—

“Godspeed, fucker,” Koga whispers-yells. “We hardly knew ye!” There’s the distinct sound of bushes rustling. His own teammate has abandoned him. Inuyasha is going to commit murder.

Firmly putting down the picture frame, Inuyasha starts the careful climb back out the window. He’s got one leg out, half of his body strained to reach the little lip in the brickwork he climbed up earlier. His hands grab at the sill, twisting him, and then he sees it.

It.

The purple dinosaur.

It’s on her bed, perfectly placed and disgustingly cute.

“Oh no,” Inuyasha groans, and then promptly shoves himself out the window. It takes him ten precious seconds to balance, and then another ten seconds to close the window and hide the fact he ever broke in in the first place. At the first sound of voices, Inuyasha freezes against the brick, propped up in a little corner and distinctly not looking down. It’s not a far drop, but the last thing Inuyasha needs is to lose his balance, topple into the garden, and then have the Priestess women come running to see what the fuck happened.

He waits, breath nearly held, until they start opening the door. There’s enough fuss and discussion that Inuyasha feels safe in making his escape, running away like the hounds of hell are chasing him. He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t look back.

When he finds Koga, lounging on the couch and drinking yet another beer at their shared gaming house, it takes a solid ten seconds of very slow counting to remind himself that murder is bad.

Besides, they have a tournament to win on Saturday.

X+X

The next day, Inuyasha finds himself looking for purple dinosaurs on Amazon.

This is, well, not ideal.

“What are you doing?” Hachi asks, eyes narrowed in confusion and then widening in concern when Inuyasha flinches to hide this embarrassing lack of restraint. “Wow, okay.”

“Fuck off,” Inuyasha replies, but he’s too mortified to even make it mean-sounding. He just comes off as pathetic.

There’s a snort in the doorway, and Miroku comes bumbling in with a clipboard. He takes his duties as team manager far too seriously. “What did Hachi do wrong now?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Hachi replies, eyeing Inuyasha again. “He’s the one that went all crazy when I asked him what he was doing.”

“And what was he doing?” Miroku presses. He’s grinning like a fool because he’s the worst. The worst best friend a guy could ask for. Inuyasha doesn’t know why he’s teammates with these idiots. It’s bad enough he’s got to deal with Koga.

“I wasn’t do anything,” he tries, but Hachi’s just shaking his head.

“Looking at his phone. I don’t know.”

Miroku turns to him, a shark that smells blood in the water. “Your phone? Who are you texting?”

“No one,” Inuyasha scoffs. “Fuck off.”

This gets a nod, and he has one moment of hope that Miroku won’t push the issue when his best friend hums. “You’re right. You have no friends outside of this team.”

“I’m not his friend!” Koga yells from somewhere else in the house.

Inuyasha sighs.

“So you must have been watching something.”

“No,” Hachi argues, “he was holding his phone like this. He was reading something, or maybe scrolling?”

“Inuyasha can’t read!” comes Koga’s voice again. They all ignore him.

“You’re not on Instagram,” Miroku hums, playing fucking Sherlock Holmes. “And you’re definitely not on TikTok. Discord is just another form of talking to people, so that’s out.”

Growling, he shoves his phone in the pocket of hoodie and gets up. “I am leaving.”

“Ooh, he’s leaving,” his friend continues, blue eyes alight with something dangerously close to glee. “Fuck, it has to be about Kagome then. That’s the only time you get this pissy.”

“Ha!” Hachi laughs because he, too, is the worst.

“That’s my future wife!” Koga yells from the other room, but that’s just because he’s delusional. As if someone like Koga could fucking rub two braincells together enough to impress her. Inuyasha’s face does a thing at the very thought.

“Oh my god, it is!” Miroku cackles.

“No,” Inuyasha answers, and he thinks he does a pretty good job of remaining calm. “But fuck you, anyways.”

“Are you reading her Wikitubia again?” his friend asks and that is it—

“One time!” Inuyasha yells, storming away from the main room. “That was one time!”

His teammates’ laughter follows him all the way back to his bedroom. Shippo, rubbing at his eyes after his nap – because he acts like a literal child, it’s embarrassing – just stares at him confusedly. “What did I miss?”

Inuyasha doesn’t stop walking. “Absolutely fucking nothing.” He gets into his room, shuts the door with a disturbing amount of care, and then leaps onto his bed to try and suffocate himself with a pillow. The walls of their gaming house aren’t that thick. If he tries hard enough, Inuyasha could hear the shit they’re undoubtedly still talking about him.

One time, Inuyasha pathetically whines in his head. He was only caught staring at her Wikitubia page one time. He was sizing up the enemy. Looking for weaknesses to exploit. That’s the only reason he did it. Just like that’s the only reason he watches her YouTube videos religiously, at least once a day, and always at night once everyone else has fallen asleep.

It’s not because of anything weird. It’s because she’s the enemy. She’s the competition. Inuyasha must figure out a way to destroy her.

Later that night, when he goes back to re-watching an old YouTube video of hers – one Kagome had posted within the first month of her rise to so-called fame – that he sees it.

It.

The purple dinosaur.

Sitting propped up on some pillows, like a prized treasure.

“Motherfucker,” Inuyasha snaps. He doesn’t stop the video, though. There could be secrets. Weaknesses to exploit. Yadda yadda yadda, he’s not in denial, this is only his third time watching it, blah blah—

Kagome smiles in the video and his chest does the thing.

Inuyasha sighs. Miroku can never, ever see his browsing history.

X+X

Tagging: @ideasthatbuildcities @wolfcry77 @alerialblu @misspepperpottss @sailorbabydoll92 @willowandfog @amethystablaze @fawn-eyed-girl @noyourenotreal @hnn-wnchstr @liz8080 @nsr0716 @superpixie42 @itzatakahashi @mandirox89 @inussunflower @cstormsinukagblog @nartista @hopidoodle @princessinume @lavendertwilight89 @anxietyaardvark @omgitscharlie @theinuyashareader @ruddcatha @umacaking @kagometaishostory @cammysansstuff @sacred-arrow-writes @sacred-arrow @gicu2 @neutronstarchild @kalcia

#WYSYLMT #witchy writes #witchy answers #inukag #inukag fanfiction #inukag fanart #inuyasha fanfiction

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yanderemommabean · 4 years ago

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A really dumb comfort scenario by Mommabean

Dabi x Reader fluff stuff

Dabi never used to see himself as a night owl. Standing out as the skies turn from a pleasant purple to a dark shade of black speckled with bright stars wasn’t something he saw himself enjoying, not until a few months ago when fate decided he needed to meet someone worth staying out late with.

Usually he prefers to just stay inside and do his own thing, be that scrolling through memes or simply just listening to music while he turns the lights off and drifts into his mind for a few hours. On rare occasions he’ll spend time with friends, but it drains him considerably and he has to recharge his battery afterwards.

It doesn’t mean he hates them, he’s just not a person with a lot of energy, but he knows people take it personally. Which can’t really be helped as he isn’t the best with words on explaining why he does what he does, honestly he doesn’t even know.

Typically his weeks goes like this - working with assholes who act like siblings rather than coworkers, then wanting to unwind as soon as he gets home because if he doesn’t he’ll snap or possibly have a mental break. Which probably already happened considering where he is now, but another break isn’t something to want to happen either.

But Dabi was forced out one night a few months back by Toga, who he can’t say no to often as she’s like a little sister and he adores her as such, and was dragged practically to a restaurant for drinks and food as a way to celebrate their hard work. Even Shigaraki got a stick out of his ass for a hangout, so he supposed he could suck it up for their sake.

Leave it to his soft heart to make him torture his own antisocial ass. However, this time he was seemingly gifted, as he heard laughter from across the room and saw you, giggling and almost snorting as you covered your face at the ridiculous joke a friend made. You looked absolutely precious, for lack of a better word. Not a care in the world as you laughed and giggled so hard you lost your breath.

He was drawn to the brightness you added to the dull restaurant, vaguely paying attention to the conversation his own group was having as you peaked his interest. Dabi figures he was being too obvious with his staring, as you looked over and met his gaze directly, but instead of flipping him off and acting like a full Karen, you waved and gave a shy smile.

That kinda hurt to not see that pretty smile. You’ve hidden it the entire time he’s been watching you, as if you hated it. Well, he’s got a plan for that, just you wait. He’ll get you to smile for him, just give him time. He remembers how he managed to greet you, both of you talking and surprisingly having a lot in common.

A total mindfuck to find out an adorable, fluffy person like you was into murder documentaries, scary stories, horror films, and loved to study obscure and odd mysteries. Color him pleasantly surprised. You two kept chatting away after the awkward ice was broken, to the point your friends were getting a bit pissy and telling you to hurry up to leave.

Fuck ‘em. He didn’t like them then and he doesn’t like them now. Out of spite he wanted to ask you for a drink so he could drag out the conversation longer, but he didn’t need to make a bad impression or make Shigaraki think he was pulling something. Which again, was fair, he was known for pulling some stupid shit every now and again.

Months. It’s been months and he hasn’t gotten tired of meeting you and being around you. You’ve had your arguments sure, had your moments where you and him were a bit tense, but that didn’t deter anything. Hell, you two have nicknames for one another now, and he allows you to play with his hair every now and again. He doesn’t let anyone get that close except Toga, you should be a little honored. Nothing is ever getting rid of him if you two are this close already.

It’s still baffling. Months! And all this time, you still hid that pretty smile. The very thing that drew him too you in the first place. What do you have to be ashamed of? Besides your search history, absolutely nothing! Dabi sighs as he sits on the steps outside of his apartment, looking up to the night sky, waiting for you to answer on if you wanted to hangout or not. Either way he began to enjoy this new sight, this addition to his schedule was something he looked forward to more than his late night music sessions.

He was about to text you again, thumb hovering over the keyboard as he thought of what to say, but three dots appear and he decides to wait and see. You, being the sweetheart you are, tell him to wait and that you’ll meet him in ten. A warm feeling fills his chest again knowing you’d be here. It’s been happening a lot lately actually, and he’s not an idiot. He knows he likes you, he’s just never liked someone to this extent. Should he be embarrassed? Excited? Happy? Who the hell knows. All he knows is he would do anything for you, and his feelings towards you are only growing.

Dabi flicks his phone off after a minute and looks around, waiting for you to show up. While scanning the area, he heard frantic steps coming up the sidewalk that were approaching fast, in a panic. He jumps up to his feet to see who could be running his way, more curious than in the mood to save someone.

However, seeing you with tears running down your face wasn’t at all what he expected. He felt rage and worry surge through him, an almost animal like possessiveness took over him and the idea that something happened makes him sick with anger. His body moves without him thinking, his arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly, listening to your shaking sobs as you cling to him and begin to apologize.

“Hey- hey what happened?!” He asked sternly, sounding more pissed than worried, cringing slightly at his tone. Smart move asshole, make them feel even worse. Genius.

You stutter and begin to try and talk, but your throat is tight and your eyes are still pouring like waterfalls. You shake your head and clench your eyes shut again, burying your face into his chest as your knuckles turn white from gripping his sleeves for dear life. Dabi tensed, breath hitching as you hugged him tightly and began to shudder and weep into him.

Hands gently rub your back as he slowly walks with you, guiding you to the steps he was just at to help you sit down and get yourself together. “Who’s ass do I need to kick?”.

You giggle at that, wiping your eyes as you shake your head playfully “No ones Dabi...I’ve just been feeling super fucking depressed and stressed out because of work and I feel I have no time for myself anymore and...well I just needed to be with someone who understands”.

He was touched that you saw him as someone you could come too. Seriously have you seen him? He’s the worlds most selfish asshole! He can’t even trust himself half the time, especially when it comes to bothering people and pulling pranks. You might wanna reconsider who you’re trusting there.

Although hearing no one hurt you was calming, he was still worried for your wellbeing.

“I get it. I mean I’m not the best with comforting but I understand what you mean. It’s frustrating as hell not even having time to rest, and then having to head back to work for nine hours or more over and over...it ain’t easy”. He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, already feeling the anxiety over his schedule for tomorrow.

Sniffling softly, you nod and scoot closer to him, his warmth soothing and comforting compared to the chilling winds of the night. “Yeah. And it doesn’t stop for decades. I’ll never have free time again or I’ll always feel tired and drained and I hate it”.

Now that’s not necessarily true, but he knows where you’re coming from. Every day lately seems like such a struggle, he knows it all too well. It was clear you needed more than to vent and rant, and he has just the thing to help the mood. “It’s not all that monotonous. I think you’re just overwhelmed and need a break. Wanna come in? I think we both need a drink and a few laughs”.

You fiddle with your hands a bit, looking down at your feet with lips pursed in thought. “I can stay the night?”. What kind of question is that? Seriously what kind of question?! You literally just cried into his shirt no problem, now you’re worried about personal space? “Dude, you really have to ask? Stay a fucking week if you want, just get your ass inside before I drag you in” he jokes.

You look away as you smile, standing up and dusting off your legs before heading into his apartment behind him. Maybe tonight he’ll get you to stop hiding that smile, to bring those walls down even more and let him show how amazing you are in his eyes. Just maybe.

((This was bad I know I know I just needed a way to vent -Mommabean))

#dabi x reader #bnha #yandere fluf #mha #Mommabean #yandere scenarios #i guess #yandere imagines #not really tho hes just falling in love #yandere dabi #yandere bnha

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kimnjss · 5 years ago

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selfishly mine | requested

⇢ pairing: taehyung x reader ⇢ fic type: one shot ⇢ genre: angst, smut ⇢ word count: 3.9K ⇢ theme: boyfriend!taehyung + jealous boyfriend ⇢ warnings: cursing, dirty talk, oral sex (m. receiving), deep throat, possession kink, fingering (f. receiving), doggy style, praise kink, unprotected sex (be safe loves!), cum inside, cream pie. ⇢ synopsis: after what was supposed to be a nice quiet dinner with his friends, taehyung decides he should put you in your place, the best way he can think of. ⇢ A/N: sorry it took so long, lmao! kinda got into the idea of one request a day sooo, i've just been doing that! thanks for being so patient and i hope you like it... i might’ve gotten a bit carried away...... :]

In the past few months you and Taehyung had been together, he never missed the chance to marvel about his admiration for your fashion sense. If he wasn't complimenting you over and over again about the way you dressed, he was asking your opinion on something that he wanted to wear.

You loved it. The drop 'o' expression he'd pull whenever you were rounding the corner. Hearing him tell you in a deep voice how good you looked. How he loved the way something you were wearing fit you. Just that alone was enough to have your toes curling.

Which was why you were taking special care of you appearance after he announced you'd be meeting his hyungs for the first time. About two years ago he had a staring role in a TV drama. He had kept in touch with some of his co-stars and tonight was the first time you were being invited to one of their meetups; you wanted to make a good impression, because that boy loved to brag. Never missing an opportunity to show you off. The memory of meeting his BANGTAN friends for the first time was still fresh in your mind.

He wouldn't shut up the entire night about how great you were. Stroking your ego each and every time he opened your mouth. You couldn't tell if his buddies were getting annoyed or not, you were too focused on him and how good his words were making you feel.

You hoped tonight wouldn't be much different. Dressed nicely in a checkered red and black two piece, a black turtle neck underneath the spaghetti strap top, you waited in the kitchen for your boyfriend's arrival.

He was knocking on the door only two minutes after he said he'd be there. He grinned widely at you at the swing of the front door, arms instantly finding your waist as he pulled you toward him. “Missed you, beauty.” He mumbled, head nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

Due to his extremely busy schedule, you really only got to see each other once or twice a week... unless he was on a break. He was constantly flying from here to there and then back again, you two hardly had time to take a moment.

This was your first time seeing him in a long while and you had to admit, you missed him a lot too. Which was exactly what you were replying before unwrapping your body from his, going to grab your purse and following him out to the car.

He drove, a leisure he didn't always have, you beside him with your hands joined ontop the middle console. You chatted the whole way to the restaurant, him telling you funny stories of him and his hyungs. You listened, putting your input where it fit and laughing along with him.

Before you knew it, he was parking and rounding the car to open the door for you. His fingers wrapped around yours, a wet kiss landing on your lips as you slid from your seat. You smiled against his mouth, arms going to wrap around his neck. “I like what you're wearing,” He mumbled against your lips, eyes boring into yours. The tips of his fingers toyed with the hem of your skirt.

You bit your lip. Noticing the subtle change within his eyes. Much darker and less playful. It seemed almost random, but you knew your boyfriend well enough to know it wasn't. You didn't fail to notice his lingering stare, constant pull at his lower lips, the curious drag of his fingers over your thighs. All this while he was concentrating on the road and telling you stories.

He was nothing if not a multitask-er. “Taehyung-ie, is that you?” The voice came from behind you two. You stepped back, eyes finding the owner of the words. Park Hyungsik took long strides toward you and you had to keep your mouth from dropping.

Of course, you've seen him on TV. In pictures with your beloved boyfriend, but never... not once have you seen him in person. He was just as handsome, if not more standing right in front of you. He grinned.

Tae was quick to introduced you two. You stepped forward, offering your hand for a handshake, which he gratefully took. “Wow, you weren't lying... she's gorgeous,” His words were directed to your boyfriend. “She's making my heart flutter... just standing there,” You couldn't fight the blush that dusted over your cheeks.

“Thank you,” You smiled, hand slipping from his grasp. “You're... uh, very handsome too.” You felt like an idiot. Of course he knew that, he had thousands of people whining about his good looks on the daily. Nevertheless, he accepted your compliment, turning his back to you two.

“Hyung is already inside,” He gestured toward the entrance and you began to follow him. Tae was close behind you, securing an arm around your waist as you two made your way inside. He held you close the entire walk to the table, grip dropping only when he was sitting down.

He took your hand instead. “Aren't you going to introduce us?” Seojoon glanced at his friend in slight confusion. Taehyung nodded his head slightly, lifting your intertwined hands. “Hyung, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Seojoon-hyung.”

You were just barely able to wiggle your hand from your boyfriend's grasp, offering a handshake to the man sitting across from you before sinking back into your seat. Taehyung smiled slightly when your hand was finding his again.

The three men fell into easy conversation, catching each other up on the happenings of their life, excitement on their faces as they talked. You listened quietly, pitching in here and there. And before you knew it they were turning the conversation on to you.

Your interests discussed, your taste in music, what your plans were for the future. You answered all the questions that Tae didn't beat you to. It surprised you how much he knew about you, things that you didn't remember telling him.

“She doesn't answer her own questions?” Seojoon spoke jokingly and you let out a soft laugh when Taehyung was answering again, “She does.” You smiled, running your thumb over the back of his hand.

“He's just trying to show off,” You grinned. “Tae pays so much attention to me,” Your words were enough to wipe the embarrassed look off of his face. If only you knew that wasn't the case at all. He wasn't trying to prove his knowledge on your day-to-day life, not at all. His intentions was much more... primal.

He was able to mask it after that comment, allowing you to speak and not jumping to be the buffer between his friends and you. Taehyung watched how easily you were able to get along with the two men, laughing at their jokes and sharing common interests.

And he would've been happy about it too, if it wasn't for Hyungsik's constant obvious flirting. At least, it was obvious to everyone except for you. You were just falling into it, being shameless along with him.

He nearly lost it when you got up to switch seats with Seojoon so you were now sitting next to Hyungsik. A lame excuse of wanting to see the video he was showing you on his phone, yet you never returned to your original spot.

Tae tried to involve himself in your conversation and when that failed, he tried to talk to Seojoon. Tried to hide the fact that he was a jealous wreck and wanted nothing more than to rip you away from his hyung and show you who you belonged to.

He hated thinking that way. You were a person and not some prize to be fought over, but in the same breath you were his. You had always been his and now he had to sit there and watch his girl get close with someone else? That was enough to put anyone in a bad mood.

He concentrated on his meal, happy that the table was much quieter now that the food was out. “Oh! Y/N, this has to be the best burger I've ever... you've got to try this.” Hyungsik was breaking off a piece of his sandwich, offering it to you on a fork.

“She doesn't eat red meat,” Tae grumbled from across the table and you smiled at him, shaking your head. “Thanks baby, but I can...” He was scoffing before you could finish your sentence, waving you off with a flick of his wrist.

“Fucking eat it then,” He rolled his eyes.

“God, Taehyung. What's your problem?” You spat. It wasn't lost on you how pissy he's been the entire evening-- making everything uncomfortable for everyone.

“I'm the one with the problem? You're the one falling all over my friend as if I'm not sitting right here!” Your cheeks darkened in embarrassment, shocked that he'd lay that out so bluntly in front of everyone.

Didn't he say he wanted you to get along with his friends? You were! You were doing exactly what he asked you to do and now he was being an asshole? You wanted to scream. Hardly ever, did you two argue and now in front of everyone was when he wanted to do it?

“I'm not even doing anything? You've been scowling since we sat down, arms crossed like someone fucked you over. If you were going to be like this, then why did you even invite me?” He took one look at you, rolled his eyes and tossed his napkin onto his plate.

“I'm not hungry anymore,” He spat, digging through his wallet and tossing some cash onto the table. Enough to cover both his and your meals. He was storming out of the restaurant.

Now you were pissed. He was acting childish and deserved a good whack on the side of his head, because who even acted like that? Apologizing to his friends, you stood from your seat and exited behind him-- surprised to see he didn't drive off with how ridiculous he was being.

He didn't speak the entire ride back to his place. That stupid scowl on his face as his fists gripped the steering wheel. You had no idea what went wrong, you were just being friendly! And now he was accusing you of falling all over his friends? Did he expect you to give them the cold shoulder, ignore them and not interact?

Taehyung shoved the car into park, climbing out the front seat and slamming the door behind him. You watched as he trudged the whole way to the house, swinging the front door open.

Yanking you seat belt off, you were right behind him. You were entering just as he was stomping up the steps toward his room. You followed him, pushing the door open before he had the chance to close it in your face.

“We're not going to talk about this?” You asked. He needed to explain himself, you needed an explanation. There was no way you were going to allow him to act all pissed off while you were clueless.

“Sure, we can talk about it. We can talk how you spent the entire night eye fucking one of my closest friends... while I was sitting right there!” Eye fucking? Was he insane?

“Eye fucking?” You repeated, nose scrunched slightly in confusion. “Who was I 'eye fucking'?”

“Don't play stupid, Y/N.” God, wow. Hew was really upset. You never pinned your boyfriend to be the jealous type. He seemed all too level headed for that. You had never given him a reason not to trust you so him acting like this was a bit... odd?

“Did you forget whose girlfriend you were?” He was speaking when a few moments passed where you hadn't said anything. You couldn't help the way your eyes seemed to roll at his sentence. “I'm your girlfriend, Tae. Come on, I was just being nice.”

Taehyung was standing in front of you, a hand running over the sides of your neck before grasping your chin. He forced your gaze to his eyes, the darkness from earlier had returned. There was a wild glint in them. “Whose? Say it again,” He was smirking. He looked so domineering looking at you like that, it was kind of hot.

“Yours, Tae. All yours.” You kissed his groaning lips, arms wrapping around his body as you pressed your chest against his. His big hands were dropping below your waist, grasping the hem of your skirt.

Taehyung yanked the fabric upward as he was pushing his tongue into your mouth. The thong you were wearing doing very little to keep your ass from being exposed to the cool air of his bedroom. His hands dropped down, one covering either cheek. He squeezed and you moaned.

“Mine,” His words were murmured against your lips, slowly he was pulling back his lips finding your neck. Your fists clutched the fabric of his shirt as his lips painted your neck with wet kisses. Your body jerked when his mouth was grazing over the area just below your ear. Mouth working to form a love bite, marking his territory.

Tae was tilting his head back to admire his work. You jumped up, him quickly catching you as you wrapped your legs around his waist. His grasp dropped down to your thighs, taking backward steps until he was sitting back on the bed.

You sat your body up, straddling his lap as your fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt. The moment you had the front open, he was shrugging it off. His fingers caught your chin, dragging your lips onto his.

He kissed you intently, with a purpose. A certain dominance behind each stroke of his tongue, each slide of his lips, had you shivering. His dark eyes bored into yours as he pulled back from your wanting lips, tongue wetting his lower lip before he was sucking it into his mouth.

“Get down,” His 'no funny business' tone had your toes curling. Taehyung lowering you onto the floor between his legs, the bulge in his pants becoming level with your eyes. You sighed, reaching a hand out to feel him. He was smirking, batting your hand away. “No hands,”

Without a word, you were clasping your hands behind your back. You watched as he brought his hands down, undoing the buckle of his belt before shoving his pants down his legs. His hard cock was straining against the fabric of his boxers and you wanted nothing more than to have a taste.

Your mouth was watering. He watched your face as he took his time with revealing his cock to you. He looked so big with his hand wrapped around his length. You watched, waiting as he stroked himself. His face twisting from the pleasure.

“You want a taste?” His tone was teasing, mocking you. You couldn't find it in you to come up with a snarky comment. You were too focused on his cock in front of you, the smooth slide of his hand, a bead of precum rolling down the side. You liked your lips, nodding.

Taehyung had been anticipating your approval, not even a moment passing before he was guiding the tip of his cock to your wanting lips. You opened up your mouth fully, hands staying secured behind your back as you began to suck.

On any normal occasion, you'd manage about half of his dick into your mouth, the bit you couldn't cover would be taken care of by your hands. Tonight was different. You were feeling greedy and you were sure he'd scold you if you moved your hands.

Bracing yourself, you lowered your head a bit more, taking his cock further into your mouth inch by inch until your nose was centimeters from his pubic bone. He groaned, hands tangling in your hair as he held your head still.

“Fuck, baby... you're doing so well,” His praise urged you to go on. Do more. You were sucking your cheeks into your mouth, creating a hallow as you bobbed your head over his length. His hips twitched and you ignored the sting in your throat, lowering yourself once again.

You continued on like that, taking note of how close he was getting. Taehyung strained to remain seated, curses leaving his lips in heavy breaths as he guided the movements of your hand with his hands.

“Look at you,” His hips began rocking, fucking into your mouth. You fought the urge to grasp his hips, allowing him to do whatever. “So beautiful,” Your eyes were watering and there was drool spilling from the sides of your mouth, but if Taehyung said you looked beautiful... than you must be a picture.

“My perfect girl. You're all mine, huh?” He wasn't even giving you the chance to answer, pushing his hips forward so his cock was sliding down your throat again. You felt your throat constrict around him and grunted, pulling back just as you began to cough.

Taehyung used the grip he had on your hair to lift you to your feet, his body rising along with yours. He was covering your mouth with his, kissing you messily and rough. Your head was spinning by the time he was pulling back. “On the bed,” It took you a moment to realize what he was saying. The firm slap on your ass put a pep in your step-- while pulling a yelp from your lips.

You lowered your body onto the mattress. Turning around at the gesture of his hand. You shifted onto your knees and elbows, face resting against the pillow as you awaiting his next move. Your heart pounding as you felt the dip of the mattress.

“You're so wet, baby. Look at your panties sticking to your pussy,” You heard the laugh in his voice, felt the tips of his fingers brush over your slit through your soaked panties. He rubbed his knuckle over your covered clit and you flinched. “Were you this wet all night? I wonder who made you this way... any thoughts?” He was teasing you, stroking at a devilishly slow pace.

“You, Tae. Only...” A whimper slipped through your lips. He had moved his fingers but only to lower your panties. You yelped, body jerking at the feeling of his fingers smacking against your clit. God. Since when was he like this? You could feel yourself getting wetter as the seconds ticked by.

“Don't lie to me,” And that voice. Fuck, you might just cum on spot if he kept talking to you that way. You were mindlessly wiggling your hips, trying to coax him into touching you more. Giving you more.

“Only you, Taehyung. Just you can make me like this,” You were able to gain enough composure to form a coherent sentence and you were more than proud of yourself. Taehyung seemed pleased as well, two fingers slipping into your entrance as a reward. You sighed in relief, thankful for the bit of stimulation.

You just wished he would go faster. There was no way you'd cum when he was fucking you so slow, fingers just barely brushing over the sweet spot deep inside of you. He knew that he was driving you insane too, that stupid smirk never leaving his face.

His hand was quick to still your hips that greedily tried to get more than what he was willing to give to you. “Don't be greedy. You're not cumming on my fingers,” He began spreading them, stretching you out nicely.

“I'm just getting you ready. Although, I don't think I even have to...” He was sliding his fingers out, your arousal displayed in a thin line connecting his fingers. “I've never seen you this wet,” You watched as he pushed his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean.

“Tae, please.” You were gasping, pushing out toward him. Thank God, it seemed like he was tired of waiting as well. His big hand grasping his cock and moving to crouch down behind you. Inch by inch, he was sinking inside of you.

“See that?” He sounded a bit winded, finally being inside of you definitely effecting him. “I just slide right in... you were made for me, baby.” He was pulling his hips back until it was just his tip left. Quickly thrusting forward and making you gasp, “All mine.” His hands found your hips, gripping them as he settled for a pace.

Taehyung was not holding back. No not tonight. Each snap of his hips had you jolting forward, the firm grip he held on your hips the only thing keeping you from falling forward. Fuck, it felt so good. He was being so rough, so dominant and it was driving you wild. You knew, even before you had started, you knew you wouldn't last long... the build in your lower belly only proving you right.

“Close already, baby?” He could feel the way your pussy clenched around his cock. You nodded your head quickly, whines leaving your lips. Whines that you had tried to make sound like you asking for permission to cum.

It seemed like he understood, his hand snaking around your waist to your clit. He rubbed backwards circles against the tiny nub, the movement of his hips never letting up. “Go ahead, cum for me, baby. Show me how good I make you feel. Only I can make you fall apart like this,” He was right. He was so right.

Everything felt better with him. Not once had you thought that it would be better with anyone else and you needed him to understand that. He was it for you. “Oh! God, Taehyung... I'm s-so... I'm so close, I'm so close.” Your hands grasped his, the pressure building between your legs and traveling to your stomach and up to your chest.

So close. “I-I... Keep going. Fuck, I love you, keep going.” All at once, there was a stutter in his thrusts, a strained 'oh fuck,' leaving his lips as his fingers sped up over your clit. You felt the snap. Your legs shaking and arms dropping your body as you came. He was right there with you, groaning as he filled you. It was warm, a feeling you felt you'd never get tired of.

It took him a moment to pull out, admiring the thick ropes of his seed sliding down your inner thigh. He fell onto his back, breathing heavy as he pulled your body onto his. You felt spent; as if you could fall asleep at any given second.

The two of you laid there in comfortable silence, his hand stroking your hair and your fingers drawing random patterns against his bare chest. “Did you mean to...” You felt the rumble of his voice against your fingers, your head peaking up to look up at him.

You grinned at his expression. Cheeks flushed and not from what you had just done. He was being shy and you knew why. “To say I love you? Yeah, I meant to.” He was grinning just as wide as you, eyes turning into slight slits as his mouth formed it's natural box shape. You kissed the beauty mark on his nose and he was quick to find your lips.

“I do too, you know.” His words were mumbling against your lips. A habit of his, speaking to you while kissing. You had gotten really good at making out what he was saying against your lips. “Love you,” You heard him loud and clear this time. You moved closer, kissing him fully.

The smile on your lips only grew as he kissed you. You couldn't be happier. Taehyung loved you. He was yours and you were his and you loved each other. What else could you ask for?

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djemsostylist · 4 years ago

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Djem's Legion Thoughts

About three years ago my brother joking suggested I read the Horus Heresy, knowing literally nothing about Warhammer. (Literally nothing. I just thought Space Marines were big dudes in armor and I had never heard of Primarchs and I still know nothing of 40k. Have no idea how the Heresy ends--I'm spoiler free babes.) Anyway, what follows are my feelings on each Legion at the following times:

As of midway through Fulgrim

At the end of First Heretic

At the start of the Master of Mankind

Halfway through the Siege

This is very long. I'm not sorry.

Dark Angels

idk I haven’t met them yet, but their name tells me they are either going to be amazing or fucking awful

Um I still dk

God I fucking love these stupid idiots. Like, they are stupid, for sure, but I dunno, I dig their bizarre sort of pseudosecrecy thing. Plus, aesthetically I’m all about weird monk orders. Also, nothing kills me quite like Farith Redloss having anxiety attacks over trying to figure out Lion.

Corswain showing up like the living embodiment of the dude with the pizza where the apartment is on fire is just so deeply on brand for these chucklefucks like, Lion is all “I’m deeply uncomfortable where Imperial Secundus is concerned so instead I’ll just go ahead and attack home planets because that will demoralize the traitors and then I’m Doing My Part” like fam, pretty much all the traitors sans Perturabo are actual literal demons rn and they all had zero qualms betraying their immediate brothers and also the emperor (and Perturabo already fucked over his own) why in the livid fuck would you think this is in any way helpful, but this is Classic Lion and I love him now on account of that one time when he hugged Roboute because he was proud of him and also because he calls all of his sons “Little Brother” bc he is afraid of being a dad and also because I too am deeply avoidant of issues I don’t want to deal with.

Emperor's Children

mostly wonderful, because they are fabulous and also extremely extra, but they have the most ginourmous fuckwad as a Lord Commander, BUT they have a very good boy as another one, so idk really. Plus the whole betrayal thing and the fucking lodges, but they are purple and fabulous, so, +1?

These are the saddest boys ever in the whole world, and they didn’t deserve what happened to them. I loved them all except for Eidolon and they didn’t deserve anything bad to happen to them ever bc they were precious and I loved them. Also Fabius because he was bugnuts and he hurt my boys.

Jesus, I’m so fucking over them all

Honestly I’m so tired

Iron Warriors

I totally confused them with the Iron Hands. Idk even, boring? But Perturabo (while he has a fucking terrible name) also hates Horus so +15

I still know nothing about them, but I think they are buttholes because of the whole Isstvan V thing. Dick move guys, dick move.

I literally can’t. Like, their entire shtick is besieging and being besieged, and then being pissy bc it is what they are good at???? Like, they are literally traitoring bc their dad got a hair up his ass bc he wasn’t a good independent thinker and didn’t think he was allowed to build castles or whatever? Idk they are exhausting except for the ones that aren’t

I still don’t really get them at all except like 99% of them who aren’t named Barabas Dantioch are asshats and are not independent thinkers who are literally still traitoring for reasons unknown except to stick it to the emperor like?? Get an actual culture??? Just literally stop???

White Scars

I dunno, haven’t met them, but since no one else talks about them, I’m gonna guess, boring?

I dunno but they are worried about them hooking up with the Rout so I guess they are cool?

Oh bless your tiny little souls. They are so sweet, and so, so dumb. But sweet.

They are very, very good boys. They don’t have a ton of range per say but their simplicity is sort of the point I think. They are what space marines are supposed to be, and I love them for that

Space Wolves

ehm, oh, I’m sorry, The Rout. Whateverthefuck, they’re boring, over-the-top fuckheads who are giant fucking hypocrites who suck and probably don’t ever shower. Honestly, they rival the Emperor’s Children in extraness, and not in the loveable way. Fucking awful, 0/10.

Okay, honestly, not as awful as some. I mean, hella extra and I hate what they did at Prospero, but in a world full of awful things, we gotta pick and choose.

They are just so, so...Space Wolfy. Bless them they try, and some of them legit crack me up. I’m just not about their aesthetic, you know?

Much like the other fuckups amongst the Loyalists, they are a blunt instrument used for a specific purpose and do better with like...direct instruction. I’m saying they are not the kind to do well with metaphor and also a lack of like, a dad. They need TE:BBA is what I’m saying.

Imperial Fists

Literally only met them briefly, but they seem a good sort. I like their Primarch? -3 tho cause damn that color scheme.

Still good boys.

Omg I love you all, you precious little bbs. They are just so calm and stoic and honestly even though yellow is a hideous color they are literally like Templars and that is fantastic?????

Listen, the amount of love that I have in my heart for these precious, perfect boys is rivaled only by my love for Rogal Dorn, who might possibly be, and I don’t wanna sound dramatic here, be the love of my life but anyway.

Night Lords

idk but their name sounds sick.

Right, these guys are also dicks. I hate them on principle.

Every time I think of them all I can think of is that one video of the goths dancing under the bridge. They are so. Fucking. Extra. Christ alive, get a hobby that isn’t fucking skinning people.

Yeah idk they still mostly suck and to be perfectly honest I’m still not entirely sure what their point was, even pre-heresy? Like what role did psychopaths play in TE:BBA’s plan for a glorious human empire, someone explain

Blood Angels

I dunno cause I’ve only ever met their First Captain (who was consorting with fuckheads) but Sanguinius is literally Top Tier Fabulous, like Prince Extra, so I hope they don’t let me down

I’m still holding out hope. Don’t let me down boys.

OH. MY. GOD. Honestly, kill me, I love them so, so, so, so, so much, it’s a lot. And I suspect something terrible will happen with them but I don’t care because they are perfect. All of them. Wonderful, perfect, lovely, caring boys who love their dad and I love them. Sweet, loving, precious little bbs who occasionally suffer from tragic vampiric tendencies but I don’t love them any less. They better stay perfect forever. If I could, I would be like Sangy and just take them all everywhere with me so that they could always be safe <3 On a less gushy note, I think one of the most important aspects of the Blood Angels (and of their primarch) is that while they acknowledge their differences from unmodified humans, they also love humanity, deeply. They see them as worth fighting for and protecting, and acknowledge that their abilities allow them to create a universe that is safe for the common man to live in. There is a sort of profound love and tenderness that they have for humanity, and I think it really does make a difference in their legion. (That scene is Master of Mankind with the Blood Angel and the Custodian really highlights what I’m saying here.)

Listen, this may sound dramatic, and I don’t wanna like, go over the top, but I would literally die for them, which would seem counterproductive since that is what they do for humanity but the amount of love of I have for this entire legion and one Angel is too big to contain in my heart okay

Iron Hands

I don’t know them well yet, but they seem like good boys overall. I’m sure one of them is bound to be a crazy fucker tho.

They are good boys. I don’t know them very well, but my favorite moment is when Ferrus had to thank Lorgar for his help so he made him a crozius and then threw it at him because he didn’t want to have to talk awkwardly.

Poor sad bbs

No, but really, poor sad bbs

World Eaters

literally terrible people, but I guess when your Dad is bugnuts….

Definitely should have been put down. As in to death. They should have been killed. Probably.

Still fucking crazy. But I love Kharn, and honestly Lotara (who I know isn’t technically a World Eater but close enough.)

No but they probably should have all been just euthanized? I mean not Kharn bc I love him but also like--they are not viable. Long term? Tbh still not entirely sure what TE:BBA’s plan was here with them and Angron (I’m gonna assume something along the lines of ignore it and hope it goes away, since that is mostly his plan for everything)

Ultramarines

probably enormous squares, but tbh in a galaxy with World Eaters and the Rout, we could do with some squares.

Honestly, I have no issues with them. They do their duty, they are loyal. I hope to love them though. They actually believe in colors.

HOLY FUCK DO I LOVE THEM. ALL 200,000 OF THEM. (Which is probably what Roboute thinks tbh.) Like, I literally haven’t met a single one that I don’t adore and love with my whole soul and entire being. They are precious, soft, beautiful bbs who I adore with my whole heart. And who will make great leaders of the world someday I’m so proud. On a less gushy note, much like the Blood Angels, the Ultramarines really have a sort of profound feeling of protection and duty towards humans. They may not always like dealing with them, but Roboute is of the firm belief that they must understand what they are truly fighting for. Saving humanity is not enough, you have to fight for the humans who live there. (See, the one short story where they find a baby and I died.)

No but what you don’t quite get is that I literally love them. Every single individual solitary one of them, and while some may say “But Djem such a thing is impossible you haven’t met every Ultramarine” I need you to understand that the depth of my love for them and their Primarch is such that I know, in my bones, that I don’t need to meet them all to love them okay bc I already do.

Death Guard

Okay, so honestly I wanted to hate them (because BETRAYAL) but tbh its only the First and Second Captains who suck a lot and idk really the rest are sort of tragically precious??

Seriously, what is Mortarion’s issue?

No, seriously, what the fuck is their problem? Get the fuck over it.

Okay, I do feel bad. For Mortarian. Of all the traitors, him I understand the most. However, that being said, while I can understand his issues, I feel like giving yourself over to demons, turning into actual demons, and also turning on and killing your brothers who refused to become said demons makes you terrible awful people who really need to like, die.

Thousand Sons

okay, I fucking love these lame Warrior Monk Priest Wizards who live in a literal glass city with restaurants and teach random people Tai Chi in the park or whatever. Overall 10/10

I am v. worried that they are going to do something dumb like join the rebellion in order to affect change from the inside and then like, adopt demons or something. Pls don’t be dumb boys.

I don’t even fucking--look, I’m just tired okay?

What the fuck Azhek. No seriously, ⅞ is good enough? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sons of Horus? Luna Wolves? who the fuck knows

my precious sons. You did not deserve what was done to you. This is why we don’t do frats. I believed in you and you failed me. D:

I love my precious sons. The Sons of Horus however, can go die.

I just--why are you the way you are?

I think the best thing about these absolute morons is that half the legion isn’t even demon fuckers, they just woke up one day and Horus told them to kill their brothers and they went “sure okay” and then just did. They are so fucking pretentious and stupid, fucking speartip, honestly die. I take it back. You all deserved exactly what you got, you dumb fucks.

Word Bearers

look, I haven’t met the rest of these dudes yet, but Erebus is a terrible fucking ambassador. -60/10 for not controlling their boy

HOLY LORD. I cannot--there are not actually words to describe how much I loathe these ignorant dumbasses. Like, seriously. Honestly, the ones who were purged were probably lucky, because the rest of them fucking suck.

God, eat a fucking landmine. Except, that would probably turn them on or something. Fucking assholes.

Just--imagine being such a fuckup that even when you were the first to the “become a demon, save the world” thing you still somehow ended up last. I hope the Ultramarines put down every. Single. One.

Salamanders

idk but this name is dumb. Salamanders are cute and slimy, and while Astartes are fucking adorable, they are not slimy. -1 for the dumb name

They are loyal, which is cool, and they seem like chill bros.

I just, like, they are sweet, but good lord are they simple.

I’m not sure? What they are doing? With their lives? Guys, idk if anyone told you but like, um. There is a war. And I get they’ve had it rough but also the loyalists could use their hope so maybe, idk. Do something? I mean I know there are like, 50 of you left and also you think your dad is dad and I feel you but like-

Raven Guard

idk but I like Ravens and Black, plus their Primarch’s name is Corvus? 11/10 they better not suck.

OMG I love Corvus?? Flies with a giant jetpack and tried to gut Lorgar? Yeah, he’s wonderful. Plus, their Captain seemed cool before he was fucking murdered.

I love them all, bless. They are sweet and simple and kind of stupid, but they make me feel things in my heart, so like, idk, stay precious.

Look, I cried over Branne fucking Nev, I don’t wanna talk about it rn

Alpha Legion

seriously? Lame.

Fuck these guys. What is their deal?

I can’t even really. I really, truly can’t. Nothing has ever satisfied me the way I was satisfied when Alpharius literally lost his head. God, that was beautiful.

Or Omegon? It was actually Omegon? I don’t even know anymore man

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astringofmadhousefloozies · 4 years ago

Text

Catch a Falling Star

The Star Sending Festival goes a little differently when Yuu has a raging crush on one of the performers.

Warnings for coarse language, deceptive actions, and being an excuse for OC x Canon, baby!

Please check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, and let me know if you enjoyed it! I have an open askbox and do like to chat.

~*~*~*~

"You boys look great."

Trey and Deuce flushed a bit, and you laughed and snapped a quick picture. How pretty they looked in starlight silks and airy linens, all embroidered in gold! Pretty as a picture.

"If you like the clothes so much, you can take my spot and play the drum?" Idia, poor thing, he sounded so hopeful from the other side of his screen. And the clothes were nice, nicer than even the robes you had woken up in. They'd look nice on you. But if they'd look nice on you, how much nicer would they look on him?

You tried to keep your voice casual, but you couldn't keep out the teasing tone. "Noooo, they’d suit you better. And I can't keep a beat! You've done perfect on some of the rhythm games you play. It'll be a cakewalk."

He just groaned, and kept at it. As though pity for him could outweigh your own desires.

~*~*~*~

"Selfish little bastard of a man."

"Please stop calling my brother names."

"I'll call him what I like. Deuce has been working very hard. At least he can't resist gamifying anything."

Ortho hovered behind your shoulder. "Is it wrong that I hope Deuce succeeds? I should want Idia to always win."

"I hope not. I like Idia a lot-"

"You do."

"Shh. But that doesn't mean I want him to always have his way. He does need to do things sometimes. If he doesn't occasionally come out of his comfort zone, how's he going to extend said zone? He's got... there's zones he needs to be in before..."

Ortho tilted his head, and you ruffled his hair like the puppy he seemed. "Anyways. I got an idea. Say nothing to you brother about it, I don't want him crying betrayal in my messages."

~*~*~*~

"Easy sleep."

The gem glowed to life, and you set it aside to grab the next unactivated one. With so many students not wanting to make a wish? All you had to say was that you'd take unwanted stones, no questions asked. By sunset there were piles of them by the Ramshackle gate. all to add to Deuce's . And wishing stars didn't seem to care if the same person used multiple, just if you spoke it out loud. Which, with your loudmouth shnook of a roommate, meant you were just cycling through a list of trivial things.

"Ugh, are you done? I'm going to bed." He only made a few more wishes himself, for endless food and as many naps as he'd like, before growing bored.

"I'll be up soon, make yourself comfortable. Um. Fly the heavens. Swim like fishes. A clean conscience..." You kept going through ones in the lyrics from a remembered song, until you were sure Grim was in bed and wouldn't be awake to make fun of you.

"One true lover with a thousand kisses."

The stone clicked on like a sigh, warming under your touch. The light seemed a bit different, though it was likely your imagination. You grabbed the next one. "Idia to perform in his pretty little outfit." Click. "That if I go home, I rememeber everything, everyone here." Click. Click. Click. You kept going until there was only one left.

You whispered a truly selfish one to it, and it lit up so bright you had to blink the spots from your eyes.

~*~*~*~

"Aaaaaaaaa you look so cuuute~" As beautiful as Idia looked? You couldn't stop gushing over Ortho. "You're such a pretty little thing aaaaaaaaah!~" You swung Ortho around in a hug. "You look great! And the ceremony is saved!"

God, he had such a sweet laugh. "I'll be perfect! I have to go! I'll see you after!" Was he trailing sparkles as he went? Probably not. And with him gone, you could go back to your original target.

Idia fidgeted in his spoot and looked away as you looked him up and down. You'd never seen him look so fine. Of course, even in his usual clothes, he was beautiful, but in these, this finery? He looked otherworldly, more a fanciful painting than a person. Maybe everyone else could see even a fraction of what you did.

"You look nice."

"It's awful."

"It's lovely. A splendid get up for a splendid person." He turned red. "A kind, sweet boy who steps up to the plate when it really matters." Redder. "A wonderful person who went out and personally granted all the wishes he could - Mal told me about what you did, and look what you've done for Ortho! And you saved the ceremony!"

He covered his face with his hands. "Stop, stop, I'm too low-leveled to take these complements. I don't deserve them."

"You deserve plenty. May I...?" You held up your phone.

He frowned at you. "Why would you want a picture of me looking like an idiot?"

"You look..." So beautiful you feel lightheaded just from standing this close. "Far from an idiot."

He argued, but you did get your picture.

~*~*~*~

The ceremony was over, but you're just pissy. If it was just your phone on the friz? Yeah, whatever. But everyone's went screwy, so you knew damn well Idia did something so there wouldn't be pictures or video.

And he'd done so well! He was a born drummer, he hadn’t missed a beat. He'd been so alive, and passionate, and he needed to see it for himself. That was the whole reason, not that you’d wanted a recording of him to watch in the wee hours of the morning.

Good thing that even as he fled from the wishing tree, he was easy to pick out, and it was easy to guess the direction he was going. So, instead of chasing directly after him and losing out to his long stride, you just took a different path and waylaid him in a small clearing.

He didn't even realize you were there until you steped into his path ten feet in from of him, landing on his ass.

"So. How'd you screw the phones?"

He blinked up at you, chest heaving. His clothes were damp from the ceremony, and he smelled of sweat, though not unpleasantly. "Made a signal jammer. They'll be fine when I turn it off."

You smiled, and sat down across from him. You'd picked a good spot to find him, the moss was thick underneath you. both. "That's a great trick. Why?"

He rolled his eyes, already knowing what track you were on. "No one wants pictures of me except you."

"If that was true, you wouldn't have made it so no one got any pictures of the ceremony. The one where you were only a small part of." You decided to add a bit of guilt. "Deuce's poor mother, she'll not get any pictures of her boy!"

He flopped back onto the ground and covered his face. "Stop lying."

"I'm not lying."

"You don't actually care about that." Still lying back, he pointed a finger at you. "You're just mad because you didn't get your pictures of me! Why me?"

"Why not you? I was so busy looking at you I barely had time to notice anything else! Why would I want to look at anything else!" You couldn't stop yourself. "I don;t understand why anyone would ever stop looking at you. I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. And after I got to know you? I like all of you, even the parts that drive me mad. Especially those." You drew your knees to your chest, painful with the thudding of your heart. "You're wonderful. The only thing about you I truly don't like is how much you dislike yourself."

He'd drawn back during your... good lord, that was a confession, wasn't it? Against a tree, staring at you wide eyed with fear. He was going to run as soon as he caught his breath, you knew it. You'd fucked it up and he probably wouldn't even want to keep being your friend.

"Do you really mean that?"

You nodded, waiting for the shoe to drop. But instead of running, he joined you, a hair's breadth from your side, silent for what felt like eons.

"I'm an SR at most. On my good days."

"Nonsense." You laughed. "You're a treasure. a truly rare specimen. Museum quality."

He managed to laugh back. "Only normies still go to museums."

You nudged his shoulder. "I said don't ever call me that."

"Normie."

"Stop."

"Nor-"

You pushed him lightly, and he still flopped over, laughing. You joined him, head on his chest. (So damned bony! even with his faint muscle, you could feel the curves of rib beneath his skin.)

"Idia?"

"?"

"You're terrified. I can hear your heart going."

"Ah... Excited too. People don’t confess to you every day. Especially not me."

"Oh, they should though. Letters pouring out of your locker every time you open it. Chocolates from secret admirers. The whole list."

"Not everyone's you. No one else is."

"You can just borrow mine. I get tons of them."

He frowned at you. "And you pick me?"

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?"

"There's the whole school to pick from. A whole school who aren't shut in otakus with curses."

"Oh, I got a curse too." He narrowed his eyes at you. "I'm the hottest bitch in a school full of hot bitches. It's truly dreadful. No one meets my exacting standards except you."

"I am cursed. And you have no standards, because..."

You held a finger to his lips, and he went cross-eyed trying to look at it. "No. Don't start. Can I prove I like you?"

He gave a small nod, and you took a deep breath before you began. The first kiss, you placed to his fore head after pushing his bangs away. The next two, to each scrunched eyelid, purplish and finely veined. Four, five, six, to the nose and each cheek. On the last, you hesitated. Was this too much? Was this too quick? He answered you himself, reaching up and dragging you down to crush his lips against yours with a gasp. He only let you up when he gasped for breath, eyes unfocused and his lips bruised and swollen. It was such a glorious sight, you couldn't help but record it.

He didn't even get a chance to shield his eyes, and you'd stowed your phone away as he blinked in shock as he realized what the click was. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because you looked beautiful, and I wanted to remember it."

"Nnnn... please don't show anyone."

"Not even you?"

"No."

"Too bad, I'll show you after. People are probably looking for us."

~*~*~*~

You couldn't complain. You're pretty sure that you weren't supposed to plant grass seed by hand? But there was something soothing about your hands in the dirt, so you were doing it that way.

"I can't believe Shroud's not here, he made this mess."

"Ortho is here." He was in charge of spreading the grass seed after he helped get rid of the burnt grass.

"Ortho doesn’t count."

You threw a clod of dirt at Grimm's head. "Then you might as well say you don't, either."

Idia actually showed up in the flesh before that fight could continue, gushing that he actually got the game sequel he wanted. Good for him! Now you needed to find a playthrough of the original to watch, to properly understand the excitement.

"It's a pity you didn't get a wish yourself, Yuu." Deuce didn’t know that you'd wished up at least three dozen stars yourself, he thought you’d just gotten them from people. He didn’t need to know, either.

You looked up at Idia, catching his eye. He started, and flushed not just his face, but halfway down his hair, before it faded out, a pulse of pink sparks. The smile you made at the sight hurt your cheeks from the strength of it.

"I'd say I got my wish just fine."

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanfiction #idia shroud

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Darkwing Duck: Just Us Justice Ducks

This is it. 7 reviews, 10 episodes, 2 teams, 7 brave heroes, 13 villians but only 5 of which are relevant here. All leading to this. One big final review of one of the most loved, most important and most awesome Darkwing Duck episodes, the ONLY two parter outside of the pilot in the show’s long history. If your just joining us, as hinted at in the opening sentence i’ve been doing reviews of every episode of darkwing duck featuring the first apperances of the Justice Ducks and Fearsome Five. The only exception was Megavolt, but I ended up doing Negaduck instead, so I could cover both Megs and the original version of Negsy in one fell swoop (A great idea and comission from longtime supporter of the blog WeirdKev27). All so I could give this the build up it deserved and get the background I didn’t have years ago when I wanted to watch this, wanted to see all of the first apperances first.. then just didn’t get around to it, not even finding out the episode order is an utter nightmare. While i’ve given out about this before, allow me to do so again: Due to prioritzing what got done first over proper order, ALL of the justice ducks first appearances eps were aired after this and while Morgana at least got an episode before this, it was her second appearance. Same with LIquidator and Quackerjack though like Morgana, Quackerjack still got an episode or two before this one. So yeah as a result to most kids it was a bunch of heroes just introduced, up against two new villians and 3 old faviorites. You kinda see the problem. It’s why I watched it in chronlogical order: to have this be a gathering of established heroes against darking’s worst foes... and the debut of the worst of THE worst, the true Negaduck at long last. So with the proper build this deserves and not much else to say, let’s look at this two parter and see if all my effort was worth it and if the hype is real. Let’s, get, dangerous under the cut

We open in St. Canard in Darkwing Duck’s secret HQ over the bridge, where he’s getting ready to go out with Morgana and does... things to his hair.

Excellently terrible hair do.. seriously I love a good pompadour as much as the next person, probably unheathily more than the next person, but this isa bit much and adding a curl to it is just..

I mean Superman’s hair looked better at this point, and for those wondering “Wait superman usually has a pretty good look”.. welll.

Yeah.. post-ressurection.. he had a mullet. Look there are only 4 people in the world who can pull of a mullet: Brock Sampson, Patrick Swayze (God Rest his soul), Hank Venture and Daniel Cooksy as a teenager. And he ALSO put a curl in it and it still looked okay because that’s one of this things along with being selfless, and idiots calling him bland for you know, being a kind hearted symbol of humanity at it’s best. But man the mullet was just not for you bud.

Morgana naturally tries to change it while Gosalyn watches and...

Yeah as you can probably guess a LOT has happened.. and all off screen. Morgana is not only fully on the side of good apparently, but she and Darkwing have gone from simply flirting with one another to dating AND Gosalyn has met her and they fought the astro mummies together.. no wait that was the Caballleros yesterday.. but still eveyrthing else is PRETTY important stuff and even with the messed up episode order the kind of thing you’d ASSUME an episode would be made about. I mean this is her meeting darkwing’s kid for fuck’s sake. That’s a big step in any relationship let alone one just starting out. And trust me, I didn’t miss anything: every other morgana ep seems to have them already in a steady relaionship. I DO think it’s stuff like this why some fans aren’t crazy about this relationship. Me I think he’s honestly too good for her.

But before they can go out for whatever vauge date they were going to have the power goes out and DW notices it’s megavolt and prepares to go after him only for Morgana to question him about their date.

Morgana.. sweetie.. the entire city is blacked out. Nowhere will be open. But Gosalyn offers an alternative, Morgana go along with him and while both are reluctant they go with it. So Darkwing confronts Megavolt... and soon finds a bunch of chattering teeth. Yup, it’s Quackerjack as the two have teamed up, and together easily defeat Darkwing, putting him in an electric chair. The two also really get along which makes sense: Both have similar personalities, being kinda nuts indivdiuals with a singular obession , which compliment each other as toys often need electric power after all. THey strap darkwing into an electric chair, that got dark fast and he begs morgana to save him.. only for her to accidently turn him into jello. I mean.. they say pudding but.. their diffrent things. Just because world famous sexual predator Bill Cosby promoted BOTH for the jell-o brand doesn’t mean Jello is magically pudding. If he could magically make one thing

Point is Darkwing is jello, the villians mock him then set up some kind of device and head off.. while also mentioning a mysterious boss. I wonder who it could be.

Nah.. too obvious. Darkwing is humilated and of course blames. morgana.. for saving his life.. as while the jello humilated him he’s also you know not dead.

Anyways Darkwing storms off while Morgana worries he likes her. Morg.. the guy got pissy because you saved his life the wrong way with some bad aim. And before that clearly just wanted you there as a trophy to impress you instead of because he valued you in any way but your looks, because let’s face it he’s shown no intrest so far in any way that isn’t superficial and neither have you in him. You both need to actually try to deepen this or end it. Anyways enough me ranting at 90′s cartoon characters, it’s time for our next Justice Duck to enter the episode as Stegmutt is selling hot dogs now, but no one stops because they just.. run in terror. Poor guy, good thing he’s too oblivoius to notice. Maybe Dr. Fossil had a point. Back to the plot and it turns out the next phase in the Fearsome Five’s plan is to take out the police... okay so wait are they the bad guys or not? Questions for later. Point is we get a nice mismatch as Bushroot’s timidity contrasts perfectly with Liquidator’s showman ship and he drowns them out. Darkwing prepares to attack, but gets interrupted by Stegmutt, refuses his help.. and we get the best and most iconic gag of the episodes: Darkwing makes a joke about playing pretend.. and senseing Stegmutt is a dummy have him pretend to “put out the darkwing”.. which equates to pulling a Droopy while saying “put out the darkwing”. So the two villians finsih their job and high five and this is one of the most charming parts of this 2 parter: the camradere between the five minus negaduck. The other four just.. easily bond and enjoy each ohters company, only fighting ONCE, and then being on the same page after that.

It’s also what makes them so deadly: the go too for ANY superhero team in any medium is to simply get the vilians to fight each other as most vilian teams are built on REALLY shaky ground, a mixture of egos and ambitions that unlike with most superhero teams, can’t really be overcome with the greater good.. because their only in it for what they want. The thing that keeps any of these groups together longterm.. is camradere. I’ts why the Flash’s Rogue’s gallery is easily one of the most dangerous; while there are outliers like the reverse flash, most of them are part of the rouges, and ascribe to their rules and morals.. and thus the camradre and support that comes with it. One guy with a cold gun or a super flamethrower or a weather wand or mirror powers.. is pretty damn tough. All four and more together, willing to bail one another out, having their own tailor and weapons hookups. The four remind me of that: a bunch of guys who have the common goal of beating darkwing but likely just.. hang out when not trying to do crimes. Well except negaduck, hence the four thing. By not being able to just easily turn them on one another, it means you HAVE to take them all at once. Even if you got rid of negaduck as both the comics and the 2017 reboot have shown.. you still have 4 immensley powerful, quackerjack included, supervillians who easily can work together instead of a bunch of angry assholes who tend to work better one at a time and just with a united goal. Point is Darkwing Duck is Darkwing Fucked. Darkwing once again refuses help and yells at Stegmutt, because he’s been evne douchier than usual, and then makes the mistake of yelling at Neptunia, who promptly has her octopus friend throw him into the distance because .. well he deserves it. So while Darkwing patches up that wound to his pride and his spleen, we finally meet our vilians new boss: NEGADUCK. And... they do not explain why a guy who looks exactly like drake is here, if he has any relation to the other negaduck he was inspired by, or why any of them would trust him. This would bother me more.. if A) it wasn’t too much of a stretch for darkwing to have foes we hadn’t seen given the whole casefiles thing and B).. well okay this isn’t really a logical opinon but since when have that stopped me.

There’s a damn good reason that Negsy has one of the biggest episode counts of Darkwings villians. The guy is just.. the perfect foil to Darkwing, the Joker to his batman, the reverse flash to his flash, the green goblin to his spider-man, the sabertooth to his wolverine. He’s Drake’s equal and opposite number. While Drake can’t take two steps as Darkwing without wanting some attention, Negsy is happy to avoid having any until the moment strikes. While Drake wants attention as much as he wants to do the right thing, Negsy just simply loves doing what he’s doing. To quote the Spies are Forever song “Somebody’s Gotta Do it” “Can’t you see.. how much I enjoy this, i’d never avoid this, cause buddy i’m a diffrent breed. This is my calling, and though it’s appaling, I love making people bleed.”

He just LOVES being evil. He’s as comically devoted to being a bad guy as Darkwing is to being a good one. He loves the idea of being able to shoot a bunny, he revels in his villiany and he loves every second. But as I said unlike darkwing he dosen’t let his flaws get in the way of his villiany as much. He still does on occasion, he’s still a version of Darkwing after all, but he has his eyes far more on the prize and is far less prone to distraction. He dosen’t care about toy deals or infamy.. he just wants to watch the world burn and laugh manically over the flames. While his obessions CAN be used against him.. as this episode shows it only lasts for a bout a second and he’s usually ready for it. He’s a Drake with no morals, no connections and few drawbacks. And he’s also every bit as clever, with him winning for most of the two parter. And not because the plot needs him too.. he’s simply THAT good at planning, with his plan here being geninely clever. I’m REALLLY hoping for Frank to lead the reboot because combining ALL of this with his reboot backstory will be divine if he gets to. Negaduck was very much worth the hype.

So his next plan, itself clever.. is to dress up as Darkwing and inflitrate SHUSH, taking out the next possibly thing that could stop them. And he does so easily, even while Darkwing is there and to show off just how friggin awesome he is predicts what Drake will say. The only thing that trips him up is drake hilarious pointing out a cute bunny, because he and the other Negsy apparently share the same burning hatred, causing him to get out his shotgun. And can I just say how wonderful it is he can use a shotgun? That’d never pass nowadays, which isn’t the worst thing but i do question why VILLIANS can’t be shown being reckless with fire arms. Their the bad guys, kids aren’t going to see it as a good thing. And they still equate laser guns with guns. They aren’t going to trivilaize gun violence because of Darkwing Duck or Looney Tunes.

Even being found out Negaduck still acomplishes his goal and floods thing. So now both the cops and shush are down, and things aren’t looking great. Darkwing’s still determined he can do this himself and beat them.. but it’s transparent that not only he CAN’T and won’t admit he’s outnumbered but freely admits he just wants the biggest win of his career by taking them all out 4 to 1. Probablem is.. he’s not spider-man and this isn’t the sinister six. As I said he’s not fighting a villian group whose egos clash so badly , at least whent hey first formed, they have to take turns or in later iterations have some member blackmailed in> Their working in concert. He needs help but as we’ve seen multiple times now Darkwing just can’t accept it. He has to be in the limelight and while he does have to relearn the lesson .. it works better here as personality flaws aren’t the kind of thing that fixes itself overnight. Sometimes never. It feels less like it does sometimes in cartoons, where the character just.. never fucking learns, and more like Darkwing has learned it.. he’s just so very human and thus can’t resist sliding black. Less peter griffin more bojack horseman is what i’m saying. I mean there are still bits of just poor writing, but for the most part his ego is like most of his enimies: he just can’t get it to stay beat.

So it won’t suprise you that when the national guard and gizmoduck are called he’s not happy. You may recall when I reviewed “Tiff of the Titans” I REALLY hated this verison of Gizmoduck. He was concited as Darkwing but treated like he wasn’t, treating the daring duck of mystery like a criminal for stupid reasons and was generally pretty useless and obnoxious. The fact that hamilton camps gizmoduck voice sounds not like a 20-30 something like Fenton is but like Grandpa Simpson mixed with a dash of dudley doo right dosen’t help.

It’s not lost on me that Dan Castellaneta’s character is NOT the one that sounds like Abe Simpson either. But while that problem is still around... the rest of them.. aren’t. Gizmoduck’s character development actually stuck from last time, so rather than be a dick to darkwing he’s warm, friendly and happy to accept his help when Darkwing shows up, thinking his old “Buddy” is just volunteering to help instead of screaming at him for doing his job. Not only that but while he still has elements of a standard superman type “Cape” hero parody... their more toned down and actually funny with him giving giant speeches, and that being useda gainst him and being over the top.. but still being the noble, big hearted hero you’d expect from the roll, just wanting to do good not for the Glory he gets anyway, but because people need him. In short.. he’s 100% better thsi go round. Well okay 80.. he still sounds like this.

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Gos also brings Morgana along, because apparently she forgot the entire episode where her father was so obssed with being noticed he tried to upstage his 10-12 year old daughter... and you know the hundred other times Drake put his ego over his job.

So he naturally wants to shoo her while Gizmo. .warmly welcomes the help because he recognizes that people are counting on them not counting on him. Just then the villians make their move and activate the electro slave device from earlier which.. does nothing like that’d sound like and just creates a giant electrical wall, cutting off ST. Canard and bringing the plan full circle: The villains have now cut off the town and taken out almost anything that could oppose them. And despite you know everything Darking only gets more pissy when Stegmutt and Neptunia show up., Stegmutt because he still wants to return Darkwing’s change as Darkwing bought a hot dog from him and Stegmutt’s also a really sweet guy and Neptuina because well... .the ocean’s her thing and a bunch of bad guys just put a giant line through it she’s now on the other side of. Gizmo suggests the obvious: It’s a day unlike any other when a threat no one duck, or fish or dino duck, can face alone. It’s time to assemble! And Gos is more than excited about the idea, suggesting the name Justice Ducks which.. is honestly fairly weak in my opinon. Not BAD but very clearly just “Justice League” with Ducks in it. Given how good the series is at names, you think they’d of taken more than five minutes on this one. Maybe it was disney mandate I dunno. But the concept itself.. is brilliant and I wish it came back in other epiosdes; Taking a bunch of other heroic characters in a setting and making them into a team is always a great idea, it’s why the tmnt unvierses have been using the mutanimals more and more lately, and they do ballance each other out nicely. You have a nice contrast of powers: while multiple have super strength, stegmutt is your bruiser, Gizmo is the tech guy, darkwing’s the strategy, morgana handles magic and Neptuina can swim in anything and is super strong and agile outside and inside water, so as long as she can keep hydrated, she’s useful> Which by the way has ALWAYS been the case for aquaman.. except the superfriends version.

He really does suck and ruined it for the rest of them till Jason Mamoa and his mighty abs, coupled with Geoff Johns run on the charcter that served as the foundation for that movie, finally rescued the character from a fucking decades old cartoon’s smear campagin. They have the makings of a great team.. it’s just Darkwing dosen’t want a team and screams at everyone to get out and that he dosen’t need them.. I mean he does try to be softer on Morgana but.. he’s still a dick and she really should dump him. Seriously, their attraction is superficial, at this point at least we’ll see in Feburary if it gets any bettter, he dosen’t respect her as a person, and now he’s having to restrain himself at yelling at her.. for HELPING HIM. When he clearly needs it. Holy shit... I was not prepared for that amount of douche. And this would sink the two parter.. were this not clever setup for one hell of a downfall and not a key part of his character. Like has been said: Ego is a massive part of him, and as Tad Stones has put it his real arch enemy. It’s been the basis for several episodes and as we saw in the pilot was his motivation for getting into crimefighting in the first place. He means well and clearly has a heart.. but this is just as much about thwarting evil as it is the attention. And here it’s used perfectly as in the reverse of the gizmoduck episode, where he wanted attention but for fully understandable reasons and judged Gizmo more on stealing his thunder, which while petty i’ll admit is a bit fair given Gizmo did NOTHING in St. Canard but got the key of the city while Darwing had saved it multiple times at this point.

Here he’s being petty and selfish.. and he has no good reason. It’s just his own ego wanting the credit for everything when it’s not what he or the city needs. Honestly this feels like an ahead of it’s time parody of how Batman would be written when written poorly sometimes in the years after this episode: a massive dick who thinks he knows better than everybody else and everything else should be entrusted to him because he’s the goddamn batman, the kind who throws people out as potential parts of his family for petty shit and acts like a controlling ass and okay maybe this is spiralling a bit. But the refusal to see any other way is right? Yeah that defintelyf its darkwing like a glove and eveyrone leaves either bummed or pissed at him. And the most pissed? Launchpad who while agreeing to it, his face and tone clearly mean he’s disapointed in his buddy for acting like this when now is REALLY not the time.

And I wish.. we got more on this because Launchpad disappears till the ending scene after this. No really. Despite being Darkwing’s best friend and sidekick and despite warranting a spot on the justice ducks and despite having every reason to pitch in. he just vanishes. I mean Ducktales may of gone overboard in not having him around since Let’s Get Dangerous, but at least that’s a valid reason: he has another family, he’s really busy and Scrooge has another talented pilot to do the job for him. Granted he’s clearly still doing it offscreen at times but he was both a major part of an hourlong and will be part of any possible spinoff. And hell even back in season 1 when the character ballance was at it’s worst... Donald and Beakly at least HAD reasons for not being in a whole lot of episodes: Donald HATED his uncle, HATED adventure, and HATED the fact his kids were following in their mothers footsteps as he only saw death at the end of it. While they SHOULD have found ways to include him more and his exclusion was pretty bad... he at least had a reason. Here launchpad just has to go now his home planet needs him. And he’s not the only one Gosalyn gets more, she’s worried about darkwing, we’ll get to why in a second and wants to go but Gizmoduck refuses.. and then ALSO vanishes. Which makes even less sense as when has Gosalyn EVER listned to an authority figure? Especially when her dad might be dead? It’s just grossly out of character for her to agree to sit things out and not just tag along with steggmutt anyway once gizmo can’t stop her. I do get this is about the justice ducks but there’s no reason to neglect the other main characters. At least have Negsy capture them too or something. Cripes.

So yeah the “thinking he’s dead part”. Darkwing sets out to find the five’s lair and misses the big honking flag Negaduck set up, but finds a crumb, puts two and two together and finds them.. as Negaduck planned. Down to the crumb thing as, in my faviorite line of the episode, he planned on Darkwing missing the flag and focusing on the flimisiit clue instead. Naturally they kick his ass, EASILY, and throw him out a window to his death and in classic bond villian fashion don’t check for proof of death. Krakoa would be ashamed. So part one ends with darkwing duck getting thrown to his possible death...

Only for part 2 to pick up with him landing in a trash truck before exiting. And this.. is what makes the ego parts tolerable.. Darkwing.. earnestly reflects, depressed he let his own ego get in the way of things and shoo off his only hope, and thus let the villians take over the city, with Bushroot’s plants harassing people, quackerjacks teeth running the police, and Megavolt having taken the power company and using it to shake down locals and Liquidator flooding part of the city for a plan we’ll get to in a moment. He’s at his lowest point and tht’s while it work: his hubris DOSEN’T get unpunished, he’s fully sorry for it and while he dosen’t out and out apologize to them, he’s not only genuinely contrite but does work well with them and evenly when he finally does get back to them.. but we’ve got a bit to go before that. So with Darkwing missing Gizmo takes over as big good and not bein ga prick eagerly takes the others help Neptuina nopes out of helping, which fits her personality, so with only three left because he dosen’t consider children useful which shame on you. I mean i’ts responsible from a real world standpoint but not from a cartoon show standpoint. But anyways they split up gang: Gizmo will go take the power plant back, Morgana will try and use her spells to find the lair and Stegmutt will find darkwing. I do like despite how they neglect Gosalyn that her friendship with Stegmutt was remembered and used as a plot point here.

So we then get to a rather repttitive part of the two parter. It’s not lacking in good gags or character moments but it’s basically the same scene repeated 4 times just with a diffrent scenario and gag for each of the justice ducks and the fearsome five member they encounter. They do their respective schicks the hero is defeated.. this is 5 or so minutes of a 20+ minute episode. Not TERRIBLE stuff, iv’e seen worse repttition, but not terribly intresting compared to the rest of the four parter. So, Neptuina encounters Liquidator, whose scheme is selling rafts to people to not drown in exhange for a millioin dollars.. or whatever they have he’s not picky, and they fight but Liqui ultimately wins, Gizmoduck, in the best of the four sequences, swoops in to stop Megavolt and not only lands on his foot.. but spends so long speechifiing Mega gets him from behind, phrasing. Stegmutt hilariously tries disgusing himself with Groucho glasses and is bested by Quackerjack, and Morgana finds the lair but gets taken out by bushroot, though her pet spider archie escapes to go warn the others.

So after all that Archie makes it back to darkwing’s hq.. only for launchpad to squish him. “ew a bug!”.. just a great quick laugh. Thankfuly he’s more resilent than the average spider and is fine once Gosalyn scrapes him off and they now know the five are in trouble. Also I was wrong Launchpad does return.. for this one scene. And neither get into action once Darkwing returns and after an overly long bit of him deflecting blame to the point I was screaming.

That being said it is nice when once Darkwing is aware of the situation he gloats a little.. but still goes to save them without any hint of caring about doing it all himself. He learned his lesson. So at the Lair of the five, Negsy shows what a sadsitc bastard he is, another great side of him.. from a writing standpoint at least. It shows that like darkwing despite a comedic exterior.. he’s VERY dangerous. And he’s set up speciic tourtures for each of the five he has: He’s hooked up Gizmoducks armor to a device that lets him control it’s power flow, so right now it’s entirely drained.. but he can overload it and electrocute him to death when he flips THE SWITCH. Neptuina is stuck under a heat lamp and will fry when he hits THE SWITCH. Stegmutt is stuck in a weightless enviorment that will also loose air when he hits THE SWITCH and morgana is in a chair that will crush her tod eath when he hits.. THE SWITCH... he really loves THE SWITCH and props to him. A lesser villian would’ve had all the traps have a diffrent trigger which while making it harder on any rescuers is just a time waster asking for the heroes he hasn’t gotten to yet to break free. And while it is based in his sadism he still fully intends to watch the deaths personally. Seriously he’s got all his bases covered.. and would’ve won.. if it wasn’t for the rest of the five. The rest of the five are fighting over territoiry: Buddies they may be but they all want the pie. Negaduck, in his most badass scene shuts them up by pulling out his signture chainsaw for hte first time and scaring the crap out of htem, then using it to carve up the model of the city: They each get a quarter.. and he gets all the loot. Which they dont’ like but agree to to not die today. Though really... what’s the value of that? They have a full city held hostage, control over a quarter each, and no real way to SPEND the loot without letting someone else, say scrooge mcduck, in to stop them. Just give him the money and let him sit on it Smaug style. You get a quarter of a new york sized city to yourself to live out your dreams. I’d love that... maybe nto become a supervillian for that but still, point is you have carte blanche jsut take the W. Darkwing meanwhile uses Nega’s scheme against him and plans to be delivering skulls, after flowers only piss nega off, and then knocks the guy out.. though his attempt at playing Nega fails as the Four have wisely decided that since they outnumber him and a four way split of the loot is better than none of it, to kill him. Nega.. is not pleased and just wants them to attack him, and they do, and it seems darkwing’s going to have a front row seat for THE SWITCH. But Darkwing recovers, and we get a great tug of war between him and negsy as the switch is turnd on and off on and off till Darkwing finally wins, and then frees Morgana and apologizes and has her free Gizmo, and so on and so on. So our team is reunited, Darkwing’s finally ready to lead and thus we get our battle cries “Justice Ducks, ASSEMBLE!” “Fearsome Five, GET OVER HERE!” And the two face off

And the battle.. is fantastic. Easily the series best so far as everyone gets a moment to shine. Neptuina takes out both Liquidator and Megavolt, this time beating liquidator by creating a whirlpool inside him and turning him into a watery tornado and crashing him into megavolt before he can get stegmutt. Gizmoduck beats Quackerjack handily by using a drill on the teeth, great gag then giving Jacky some ansteic.. a boxing glove to the face. And Stegmutt takes on bushroot and when unsure of what to do.. we get a truly wonderous callback as Stegmutt.. honestly dosen’t know what to do.. so Darkwing gets some payback and tells him to “put out the bushroot, put out the bushroot” you can guess what happens next

Or if you want the more recent versoin

Point is three down two to go, and we get a call back to the pudding thing with Morgana trying to hit liquidator.. before Darkwing in a show of how much of a team player he is now, offers his help, simply having Morg teleport some instant pudding mix over the guy... I mean at least it’s brown this time even if i’ts still in a jello mold. And to finish it off he and gizmo awesomely use a mixer on both sides. So our heroes have triumphed.. almost. Negs has the controls for the barrier and runs out planning to destroy st canard if they refuse.. then being Negaduck decides fuck it i’ll do it anyway... but Darkwing stops him and we get a slapstick beatdown as DW uses an anvil a pie and other classics and utterly curbstomps his nemissi in an wesome scne. The day is saved, the generator shut down and the city freed. So we wrap up with the Justice Ducks celebrating.. with Gos and Launchpad. I have an inlking how that conversation went.

Darkwing relcutnatnly is forced to eat his own words and admit he both enjoys the team and needed their help, before heading off on that Date with Morgana.. though Gizmoduck tries to make it a group thing. Dude no one likes a third wheel.. not even when i’ts ninja brian. So Darkwing uses the iris out to escape, but Stegmutt does try and give that quarter back first, with Darkwing, in a genuinely sweet moment, telling him to keep it and then going off, having earned his happy ending and grown as a person. Final Thoughts: This episode was WORTH the build up I gave it. It turns out I really didnt’ need most of the intro epsidoes, as while it enhances the villians the heroes are all given decent enough introductions apart from morgana so tht even without the context of how darkwing knows these people it still works. It’s a thrilling, tightly paced for the most part, hilarious and wonderful two parter that ties a huge chunk of the show together into one hour long masterpice. I had my issues of course and i’ve stated them: Gosalyn and Launchpad doing nothing, the pacing towards the middle of part 2.. but otherwise.. it’s perfect. It’ has a great character arc for darkwing on top of everything, once again having his ego bite him in the ass but in a unique enough way it dosen’t feel like a retread of the pilot, and having him genuinely feel bad about it and grow. a bit smug when he learns he has to rescue them sure but he’s never smug to the heroes themselves. And ironically.. he gets his big moment. While he dosen’t beat the five himself he still infliatrated their hq, beat up their leader, saved his friends and then beat negaduck all by himself AGAIN. It may of not been the big moment he wanted.. but it’s the one he needed. As for the road to the justice ducks itself.. it was a fun ride. Only one honestly two bad episodes; Tiff otf the Titans and Paint Misbehavin and even those had their moments, paticuarlly Misbehavin’s art sequences. The rest of the episodes ranged from alright to standout and overall it was a hell of a time.. so i’m going to rank all the ones i covered leading up to this review. Just Us Justice Ducks (Both Parts) Negaduck Beauty and the Beat Dry Hard Jurassic Jumble Ghoul of My Dreams Something Fishy Fungus Amongus Whiffle While You Work Paint Misbehavin Tiff of the Titans And i’m proud to say this is the first ongoing project on the blog, the first story arc or what have you, i’ve completed. While I DID do a four parter of catch as cash can, this is the first one i’ve done over several months that i’ve completed and i’m proud of it. Does this mean i’m done with Darkwing?

Next week we’ll be wrapping up some more unfinished buisness with another Darkwing Double Feature, this time covering the short career of Quiverwing Quack and in Feburary, and the reason I spent so much time catching up, we’ll be seeing both Morgana and Negaduck again just in time for Valentine’s day. After that?

We’ll just have to see won’t we? So until there’s another rainbow, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

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thanksjro · 4 years ago

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Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes

Before we begin with “Dark Cybertron”, a lightning round style recap on the 22 issues that took place in the sister series to MTMTE, Robots in Disguise; just so we know what’s up with all the folks who didn’t hitch a ride on the Lost Light.

Here’s the Story So Far, since it’s been a minute.

Now for the nitty gritty.

Cybertron is a literal hellscape, as established in The Death of Optimus Prime, the very flora of the planet trying to murder anything that comes within a few miles of the surface. This has caused a massive economic slump in the tourist trap towns, who surely will not survive without the summertime revenue. Truly, life is cruel and not worth living.

Bumblebee narrates, as we show off all the weirdoes who live on Cybertron now. Bumblebee tries to greet a new batch of arrivals, as Metalhawk actively attempts to make him look like Satan incarnate, because all the NAILs have gone full ACAB at this point.

A robot who looks like he’s wearing a beanie commits vandalism and is then subjected to violence via Decepti-cop.

This is more or less the flavor for RID as a whole. You have been warned.

Prowl breaks someone’s hand just because he can. Blurr is made to arrest someone for disturbing the peace, even though he’s, like, basically the only guy on the Autobots who isn’t a cop. Bumblebee doesn’t believe in democracy.

Ratbat is the leader of the Decepticons, even though Soundwave is right friggin’ there. We establish that the military state is in full swing. Prowl commits a microaggression against a Senator. Ratbat gets pissy about his guys going out to beat people up, not because it violates his moral sensibilities, but because it benefits the Autobots.

Probably that you’re killing people by remote control, in as horrified a tone as he could manage, because that’s FUCKING EVIL. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

Prowl says to cancel the memorial for the Lost Light, because he thinks the Decepticons are up to something. Which they are.

Everyone hates the Autobots. Like, everyone.

Ironhide runs away from a murderous hedge and smashes into a wall. Prowl has a talk with a mysterious individual about his feelings during a romantic sunset.

Metalhawk releases hat guy from prison. He and Bumblebee have a little chat, during which he tries to gaslight the little guy. Bumblebee explodes Horri-Bull’s head in front of at least 30 people.

Except he actually didn’t, because the chips don’t actually work. T’was a ruse! Starscream enters the narrative. Ratbat used to be an actual person and not just a bat. Sideswipe wants to shoot someone. Bumblebee tasers a man unprovoked; guess he’s picked up a little paranoia from that time he got shot.

Starscream calls Prowl ugly, then spills the beans on Ratbat’s plan to kill Bumblebee at the memorial, solely because he thinks Ratbat is an idiot. Needlenose and Skywarp beat up a NAIL to work through their emotions.

Bumblebee shows a snuff film to hundreds of people at the memorial. Skywarp tries to frame a NAIL for murder, but Prowl says nuts to that idea, through the power of dramatic irony.

Long Haul tells a fib. Bumblebee and Metalhawk agree to work together. Ratbat gets turned into chunky salsa by Arcee, who will use the excuse of self-defense if questioned. Starscream pulls some fucking bullshit and third-wheels the agreement between Bumblebee and Metalhawk.

Ratbat’s death is played off as a suicide. Blurr is still a cop. Starscream is helpful. There’s a guy who looks like a frog, and I don’t care for what his eyes are doing.

Frog guy explodes, because nature is a cruel mistress.

Wheeljack has a hell of a time trying to answer the phone in the middle of an economic debate. Prowl is paranoid. Starscream handles the housing crisis. Wheeljack visits the hospital and causes a scene. Another explosion happens, killing dozens, including this guy:

You will be missed, Tiddytron.

Wheeljack realizes that the moon is trying to kill everyone, so he shoots missiles at the problem. The Aerialbots fuck off into the wilderness.

The Decepticons get some perks now that Starscream’s a government employee. Starscream destroys the military state through the power of talking over people. Prowl and his cronies investigate a murder at the trash factory.

Bombshell is arrested for thought crime, and spills the beans on the I/D chips not working. Prowl has Dirge on a chain for some reason, and it ends up causing nothing but trouble. Blurr runs every red light in the city to make a citizen’s arrest, and gets his ass kicked by a bunch of construction workers. Prowl has a complex about Spike Witwicky.

Prowl fixes the I/D chip issue and things go poorly for the construction workers. Blurr gets upset about having his ass kicked by construction workers. Prowl is very paranoid, even as he has a borderline pinup panel devoted to his weird robot bellybutton and positively ridiculous cinched waist. I begin to worry about how much I’m learning about Andrew Griffith’s tastes.

The poetry shark shows up.

Arcee reveals a little bit about herself, and I shed a tear as I shake my fist in the general direction of England, cursing Simon Furman’s name.

Metalhawk brings Sky-Byte to a literal trashcan fire to meet his buddies, and they all rag on the Autobots for a while.

Ironhide goes joyriding and finds Sky-Byte Oh Yorick-ing a Sweep’s head. Turns out they have a history. Blurr reveals his dream to own a bar. Metalhawk brings up the fact that setting up a group of folks to have their heads explode if they step out of line is some dystopian bullshit.

Sky-Byte meets up with his old buddy Swindle, and gets the skinny on the bullshit that’s being pulled on this brand-new Cybertron. Everything goes to shit very quickly. Streetwise gets set on fire. Prowl needs to stop. Ironhide commits violence against the general populace, then advocates for the removal of the I/D chips.

Blurr opens a bar, and it’s dinosaur-friendly. Prowl commits property damage on a table, because he’s tablephobic. Ironhide reveals the future.

Shockwave sends an entire race of Big Birds to their frozen demise. Orion Friggin’ Pax comes back into the narrative, in the middle of his giant fuck-off-from-responsibility space adventure. Wheelie and Garnak are here, which is cool, I guess. Jhiaxus yells a bunch, and Orion decides to go to Big Bird planet.

It’s farkin’ cold in here.

Orion and Hardhead talk about Rodimus’ tumultuous relationship with death. Shockwave is the only person in the universe who understands quantum mechanics. Monstructor wakes up from his cryo-sleep. Wheelie and Garnak are grievously wounded, and the patch job seems less than medically sound, since we’ve just put a screw into Garnak’s orbital socket to hold his eye-patch in place. Orion walks into a trap, knowingly and willingly.

Wheeljack does some espionage, even though Mirage is right friggin’ there. Turmoil swings by Cybertron to say hello- the Decepticon, not the emotional state. Drift is outed as a war criminal- well, more so than originally thought. Turmoil has a time machine.

Sky-Byte and Jazz team up for slam poetry night. Blurr tells Metalhawk a story. Wheeljack’s espionage adventure goes poorly. Turmoil gets trapped in a hamster ball. Wheeljack and Metalhawk get trapped in a hamster ball.

The Dinobots and Ironhide go on a camping trip. Starscream craves democracy. Skylynx is a glorified taxi. Slag hasn’t changed his name yet, despite half of the people working for IDW being from the UK. Swoop breaks down IDW Phase Two to its bare essentials.

Prowl sits on someone’s desk, because he doesn’t respect tables. Slag’s face is on fire all the time, and it’s sort of distracting. Swindle bothers Shockwave. Ironhide is attacked by the Dinobots.

Bumblebee sits outside and has some Night Thoughts. Cybertron wants everyone to stick together, and God help you if you don’t. Bumblebee is beginning to develop a complex. Blurr is upset with himself. Ravage and the Reflectors go on an adventure. The time machine isn’t actually a time machine. The time machine disappears.

Ironhide finds the Aerialbots, who have been combinered by the horrors of new Cybertron. Everyone yells at Bumblebee.

We get a taste of Old World Cybertronian propaganda, where everyone talks in the third person, as is tradition. Starscream gets curvier every issue. Again, I begin to worry about how much I’m learning about Andrew Griffith’s tastes.

Blurr causes an explosion in the wilderness looking for Ironhide, much to Starscream’s delight. There is a Titan under the ground, and its very existence is making reality shit the bed. Tailgate’s lies in MTMTE are so extensive, red herrings have leaked into the sister series.

Nova Prime commissioned Monstructor, and Omega Supreme hated it so much he punched it in the face.

Starscream invites a bunch of friends over to see the Titan. Brainstorm is used as a scale for end-of-the-world scenarios. Starscream is revealed to be chosen by the gods.

The Reflectors visit a planet and shit gets weird very quickly. Wheelie is about to have a goddamned stress-induced aneurysm, not that Orion particularly cares. Time nonsense is established. Wheelie-speak becomes plot-relevant. Livio Ramondelli subjects me to his nightmares’ nightmares.

Starscream gets interviewed on national television. Starscream owns a hat that makes him look like a Gundam. Omega Supreme explodes. Metalhawk flip-flops between who he’s defending like a fish on the dock. Starscream yells at Shockwave for being an instigator. Prowl and Starscream make a deal.

Arcee stabs a cat in the throat. IDW settles the debate- at least for their own continuity- and says RIRFIB. Prowl takes a fireball to the face to convince people he’s on the up-and-up. Arcee is smarter than Starscream. This asshole shows back up.

Bumblebee really, really wants to kill Megatron, but politics demand he be taken in as a POW. The fellas construct a conspiracy theory. Starscream tries to lead his peers, but it goes poorly. Not a single medical professional of Cybertronian descent actually keeps track of their patients. Maccadam’s gets several light fixtures ruined by Arcee. Wheeljack gets called a tool. Prowl shows up in his hot new body, decked out with enough weaponry to annihilate a small country and a gun that’s as big as he is.

Starscream gives Megatron a piece of his mind. The Decepticons are rioting in the streets. Prowl shows Wheeljack his toys. Arcee plays her trump card. Bumblebee tries his hand at negotiation.

Bumblebee learns a valuable lesson about leadership. Politics are hell. Megatron is released from prison. Democracy finally gets its day. Megatron enters the Black Room with his whole ass hanging out. Pretty much every Decepticon you thought was dead isn’t actually dead.

Metalhawk gets a taste of how 24/7 news has ruined everything. Prowl is revealed to be the mastermind behind all the bullshit that’s been going on the last few months, and he’s been working with Megatron. Swindle gets run over by a train. Wheeljack’s head is turned into a memory by Prowl. The crazy-making signal out in the wilderness was made by Megatron. Megatron walks in in his hot new bod, carrying his old one like his new bride. And what a pretty bride it is.

We get a literal talking heads sequence explaining just how exactly Megatron survived the events of “Chaos” and why Combiners are the bees’ knees. Prowl isn’t Prowl, but actually being controlled by Bombshell.

Dang, wonder who could have caused that, CHROMEDOME.

Prowl is released from his mind-control, and immediately plays the blame game with Bumblebee. The Constructicons and Prowl have a thing going, and show it off, much to Bumblebee’s horror.

Circuit gets given Fixit’s dialogue for some reason, and I can’t tell if this was an issue on the art side or the script side. Devastator wrecks shop. Megatron laughs at Starscream for being a loser, then crushes Bumblebee’s head like a grape. Ironhide finally shows up to the party, and he brought a veggie platter.

Jazz tries to warn the medical staff about the Combiner coming their way, but no one ever listens to Jazz. Prowl has a crisis of self. Jazz breaks up the two-man act. Megatron let Bumblebee keep his cane, proving that even heartless monsters can respect the Disabilities Act.

Ironhide and the Dinobots save the day. Superion and Devestator get into a fistfight. Prowl reaffirms his complex over Spike Witwicky. Bumblebee says some halfway transphobic shit, and I shed a tear as I shake my fist in the general direction of England, cursing Simon Furman’s name. Arcee switches sides again and stabs Bombshell in the face. Prowl takes a nap. The tides turn.

Ironhide resists Frenzy’s sonic attack through the sheer power of gumption. Skywarp says fuck this and gets out of dodge. Devastator becomes a real boy.

Bumblebee WILL kill Megatron. Arcee makes it weird. Ironhide helps Prowl figure out his life. Bumblebee never learns. Metalhawk saves his BFF, and gets his arm shot off for his troubles. Starscream uses Metalhawk’s fuck-you-level long arm to kill a man.

Swindle carries a dude twice his size to safety with one of his arms off. Needlenose gets his just desserts. Devastator rips off his head to escape his crippling self-doubt. The Constructicons are having a hell of a day.

You said it, Hook.

Wheeljack saves the day from beyond the grave, that clever man. Metalhawk is killed by politics. Hat Guy tries to fight Bumblebee, and gets mad that he doesn’t remember his name. They’ve spoken to each other maybe once.

Metalhawk is made into a playing chip by Starscream, and also a speech writer from beyond the pale. Starscream tells everyone to get naked or fuck off, then takes off his top. All the Autobots and Decepticons who don’t want to get naked fuck off into the wilderness.

The Dark Cybertron “Prelude" issues kick in.

Shockwave and Dreadwing fly through the photorealistic sky to get to where the Titan is.

Listen here you little shit-

Shockwave shoots Dreadwing to test a theory, because ethics are for nerds.

Back when Shockwave was a hot guy with feelings, Jhiaxus was dealing with the Monstructor thing, then fucked off into space. Shockwave took the opportunity to be better than his teacher in every way, as is tradition. Proteus threw a whole-ass person across the room, because classism. Shockwave revealed himself to be a budding ecoterrorist. Shockwave joined a terrorist organization to further his own goals. Orion Pax tried to appeal to Shockwave’s softer side. Megatron killed the Senate. Shockwave replaced his shitty claws with a gun. Shockwave shot Dai Atlas in the legs and can’t explain why.

Dreadwing comes back to life, thanks to the power of Shockwave’s 14th ore.

Bumblebee has the Big Sad about Starscream being King of Iacon. Arcee doesn’t know what emotional turmoil feels like. Metalhawk’s lifeless body lays in the sun for several hours. Prowl is propositioned by the Constructicons. Arcee tells Prowl’s darkest secret, and it kills Bumblebee. Swoop is having a great time.

Arcee knows about Bumblebee being Hasbro’s golden boy. Prowl uses his manners, but only when no one can hear him. Arcee and the Constructicons get into a fight, with more flaming swords getting involved than you might expect. Slag offers to buy Arcee a drink.

Bumblebee gets a hot new body. Arcee gives herself a stick-and-poke tattoo. In a few hours, the sun will rise.

Pal, you are way ahead of schedule.

Shockwave makes a dramatic entrance.

Waspinator tells a story about the time he killed a servant of God and met death. Orion and pals visit Gorlam Prime. The Dead Universe comes into the narrative again. Wheelie has his arm blown off to keep from getting disintegrated, but he shrugs it off, because life is always awful for Wheelie.

Waspinator gets chased through the desert by Monstructor. Orion Pax acts like a dumbass. A Titan is revealed. Monstructor rides on the time-travel ship like it’s a horsey. Waspinator controls a Titan and makes it teleport. Orion plays fourth-dimensional chess, and reveals that his personal ship is named after his best friend.

Starscream talks to a corpse. Blurr tells Starscream to fuck off. A very good boy enters the narrative. The paparazzi ruin Starscream’s attempt to get underlings to do what he wants. A literal rat enters the narrative.

Starscream talks to Megatron, and I genuinely don’t have the words to explain what exactly is going on with that guy. Starscream takes a gander into the very good boy’s toolbox. The very good boy lays it on thick. Starscream destroys a man’s reputation.

Starscream breaks into Rattrap’s apartment. Rattrap becomes a government employee. Starscream talks to Wheeljack, who isn’t dead.

Soundwave has a flashback to when the Decepticons surrendered after the Chaos event, confirming that Ratbat was universally hated. Soundwave has robo-synesthesia. Shockwave is the perfect Cybertronian- Soudwave hates him for it.

Shockwave calls his teacher. Ravage judges Soundwave. The Decepticons reminisce on the time they resorted to cannibalism. Soundwave thinks mourning is for dumb babies and tells everyone to shut up because he’s big man on campus now.

Nobody deserves it more than you, babe.

The infighting begins, because no Decepticon has the ability to be halfway decent to each other, and they won’t learn that skill for a good while. Needlenose throws Blitzwing across a field and admits to having feelings. Soundwave is abandoned by the Decepticon forces.

Soundwave talks to himself in the Crystal City, then gets his ass kicked by Dreadwing.

In the past, Shockwave calls Bombshell a loser and outdoes him.

Soundwave kills Dreadwing. Shockwave hides in the shadows like a weirdo. Soundwave is done trusting Shockwave. Soundwave grabs Shockwave by the boob and yells at him. Soundwave is a hopeful guy.

In the past, Soundwave stole Ratbat’s brain and put it in a cassette, proving that space-Communism only works on paper.

Soundwave punches Shockwave in the head. Shockwave assumes Soundwave is alone, despite knowing he can contain many small men inside him.

Shockwave explodes a cat. Soundwave fires missiles at Shockwave and hits him in the tit. Shockwave would fuck Microsoft Excel if he could. Frenzy is just happy to be here- no, I didn’t mix them up, the colorist did.

Ravage is a grown-ass man. Soundwave’s synesthesia used to be a lot worse. Shockwave sends Soundwave and pals home. The Titan and Waspinator show up.

Soundwave has a face. Ravage and all the other cassettes are emotional support animals, who are also fully sapient.

Shockwave’s gonna fuck everything up.

And THAT, dear children, is the entirety of Robots in Disguise, up to issue #22. We’re all caught up and ready.

#transformers #rid #exrid #recap #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 4 years ago

Note

Bakugou reacting to his S/O or crush going up to him and saying “Hey, can your hold this for a moment?” Their hand clenched so he can’t see what they are holding. He like “okay?” And they just, hold his hand.

omg this is so cute for bakugou with an s/o ahaha,, ooo n i literally couldn’t help myself so here’s a lil fic !!! hope u enjoy @annepamgkrth !! :))))

-//-

Bakugou was prickly.

He was prickly and difficult, a coiled mess of nerves wound up tighter than anyone you’d ever met. Trying to get him to relent was like playing mind games, and, if he wanted to play, then you’d play.

That day he had been even more petulant than usual- brushing you off at every turn and then huffing and puffing until you'd try again. You knew he missed you, could see it in his eyes, but you also knew full well that he’d never let himself admit that. He was stubborn to a fault. A very large fault.

“C’mon, aren’t you tired of being grumpy yet?” You huff in frustration, once more trying to grab his hand. He brushes you off- again. “Really, I already said I’m sorry! So can’t you just forgive me already?”

“No. Fuck no. Deal with the consequences, nerd.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

He stares back at you blankly, flexing his arm where it's stretched across the back of the couch. He'd been taunting you for the better part of ten minutes now, teasing you with a warm spot next to him that looked so incredibly inviting. Then, because he was apparently hell bent on being a dick, Bakugou would quickly trap his arm to his side. He'd clamp up and shut down when you so much as even moved to get closer. He was being difficult. Unnecessarily difficult- and he knew it too. You could see that clear as day from the self-satisfied smirk across his face.

"Bakugou, it's a show!"

"A fuckin' good show. Our show." He grumbles right back at you. "Don't get all pissy at me- you're the one who decided to be a bitch about this."

"What was I supposed to do? Turn it off just because you fell asleep?"

"Yes."

"No! No, I actually wasn't gonna do that! We said we'd watch one episode a night, and I kept up my end! It's not my fault that you fall asleep at 8:30 PM like a grandpa!" You huff, mild exasperation coloring your voice. "Chill out, it's only 45 minutes, grumpy. It won't take long to catch up. C'mon, I'll even sit with you right now while you watch it."

"No thanks."

"You're impossible."

"You're a traitor."

He spits the insult with too much satisfaction. It's suspicious and suddenly you know exactly what this is. He, historically, spent all his time looking for any and all reasons to go ahead and be an asshole. Apparently this is one of those times, and he's not really upset, he's just bored and acting on a convenient excuse.

"Fine. Guess I'll leave then-" You say, standing up and backing away from the couch. "Since you're obviously so incredibly cut up about it."

You see the same fight you always do then- that weird expression flicker when he just barely stops himself from asking you to come back. You can see it in the twitching of his fingers, the way the muscles in his arm flex. He's so close to folding- to bending to your will. He just needs a little push. Luckily, you've been saving a certain card up your sleeve for a while.

You fall back into the kitchen, scheming while you make a glass of water. Stalling for a few minutes, you bide your time, twiddling your thumbs until you hear Bakugou loudly huff in the living room. Peaking around the corner, you watch him grab for the remote, switching on the TV with a glare in your direction. You give it another few minutes more, and then you make your way out, glass of water in hand.

Upon entering, you find Bakugou finally watching the episode he was so upset about- albeit, with a very childish scowl across his face. He hardly even acknowledges you as you walk in, doesn't even glance away from the TV when you stand next to him.

"Hold this for me?" You ask, intentionally clinking the ice cubes in your glass. "Please? I gotta look for my phone."

He looks over at you, suspicion clouding his features. "Set it on the table, dumbass. 'm not your servant."

"No- but you are my very capable boyfriend who is an expert at holding things for me."

"Laying it on thick isn't gonna make it any fuckin' better." He grumbles, eyes still trained on the TV. But he rolls his eyes anyway, that same blind trust overtaking him, as he opens his palm. "Whatever. I'll hold it. Find it quick."

You nod, something sly and conniving crossing your face. You switch the glass into your other hand quickly, snatching his palm up with your cold one before he can recoil back. You're lacing your fingers into his, and Bakugou nearly breaks his neck with the speed he turns to look at you.

"What the fuck- the hell are you doing?" His shoulders go ridgid in mock disgust, lips curled up into a sneer. "Knock it off with the cute shit. It's not gonna fuckin' work."

"Really? But I'm not doing anything."

"You know exactly what you're doing, evil fuckin' witch."

"I'm not doing anything you didn't explicitly consent to. You did say you'd hold it for me."

"I thought you meant your goddamn drink! Not your shitty hand."

"Mhm. That misunderstanding was part of the plan. Pretty smart, right?"

You smile brightly at him, all bright whites and crinkling eyes. He folds then, just like he always does, and can't help himself as he tugs on your hand. You crash against his chest, stumbling, but Bakugou rights you with another scoff and that funny little sneer still firmly in place.

"I hate you." He says.

"No you don't."

"I fuckin' do. You're annoying as hell."

"Fine- guess I should leave then, huh?"

Bakugou just drops his other hand to your waist, gripping slightly in warning. That fire in his eyes is back, bright red flickers just daring you to defy him. That moment once again proves that petulance has always been an especially good look for him.

"No." He says, sly smile just barely curling his lip. "What you should fuckin' do is hand me the goddamn remote. Gotta fuckin' rewind now since you wanted to make such a scene."

"Nah, don't bother. You didn't miss anything important just now- trust me."

That elicits a playful growl from him, and he tugs on the end of your hair lightly in warning. "Don't fuckin' remind me. Now hand me the remote, maybe try making yourself useful for once."

"Mean!"

"Shut up, 'm just kidding, idiot." He mumbles, shyly dropping a kiss to your hair. It's stuttered, a little stiff, much like all the affection he ever showed you, but you begin to think that maybe he missed you more than you even realized. "Say you're sorry again."

"Why?"

"Because I fuckin' said so."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Fine." You roll your eyes, taking his face softly into your hands. "I am so incredibly sorry I stabbed you in the back. I will never do it again, you absolute baby."

Bakugou curls his lip at that, but you just smile something fond, leaning in for a kiss. He finally lets you, meeting in the middle with the same kind of bruising pressure you'd come to enjoy. You pull back before he's satisfied, and he nearly yanks you back into him. Bracing a hand on his chest for space, fingers splaying over the muscle beneath, you speak.

"You know- if you weren't so difficult earlier, maybe I would've let this continue."

He groans. Loudly. Slumps back into the couch with dramatic flair and practically throws you off his lap into the spot next to him.

"Fuck you. Fuck you." He seethes.

"Hey, don't get upset at me." You say simply. "Just trying to make sure we have enough time to watch that episode you missed."

Then you press the remote into his hand with a smile, and he snatches it from you with an unrivaled flair for the dramatics. Casting his arm over the back of the couch once more, he huffs, tucking you solidly against his side as he rewinds the episode.

You'd won this round- and from the blush on his face, Bakugou knows it too.

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x self insert #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #bakugou drabble #bakugou fic #mha fic #bnha fic #bakugou fanfiction

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago

Conversation

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

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halethestilinskis · 3 years ago

Text

Life is not great rn

Just another text note about how my life has imploded over the past 2 weeks. Read if you would like!

Not sure if I put it in past notes, but I work at an optometrist office, with an optical shoppe attached to it, and we actually make cut and make the glasses in house at the Foxboro location, where I primarily am. I used to be a tech, where I would get all your readings before you went in to see the doctor, until we hired some more people and I ended up getting "promoted" to front desk, where I was for about 6 weeks. The new techs, that everyone loves and does a great job, I trained by the way. I got a raise about 3 months ago, I was told by every doctor that I was improving, and look more comfortable and confident in the office. Which I did. Then it all blew up in my face.

The girl training me was named Kelly, and she should never train anyone ever. The way she answers my questions, makes it sound like the dumbest question in the world, made me feel like an absolute fucking idiot every time I was at work. She would point out every LITTLE mistake I would make. For instance, they had a portion or their chart that asked if they had any other eye problems, like amblyopia (lazy eye) or if they had LASIK or something like that, and in a lot of the patients charts, it had "other" in there, when it should be "negative" because there's nothing in there. I get it, and most of the time I fixed it, but if I didn't she would point it out and get real pissy about it. Then I would go through the chart to make sure it was done before the doctor took it, and she made the same fucking mistake, but I couldn't say anything about it. ALSO, they would put their hobbies in there, and even if the hobbies were the same, but the wording was different, she would yell at me to change it, which I thought was a waste of time.. Ya know… because it is, and again, she would make the same mistakes. She was the one reporting to my boss how I was doing, and no one else was, so every little thing I did, she would make it out to be the end of the world. For instance, I overcharged someone for their contact lens evaluation, the father, who always buys contacts through us, was a doctor and Kelly flipped out, telling me I was going to call him and tell him I messed up and see if wanted a refund, which in return cost our office money. When I could've put it as a credit, and when he came to buy contacts through us, we would take it off that order. She goes, "they're doctors" and I was like okay?? Tell me which doctor knows anything about insurance. Guess what, he wanted a refund, and it cost our office money (:

Anyway, anytime I went to work I was stressed out, walking into that building made my blood pressure rise, and any time she wasn't there, it was a great day. So on Wednesday, July 27th, I was told by the doctor that she was moving me to the Milford office, which I hate, but it's away from Kelly so I was all for it, and ready to show that I didn't need her to do my job well. Dr. M, told me she wanted to move me up there so I can take some pressure from the new girl and she can train a little bit more, and she was moving Sam down to Foxboro, because the new girl in Milford sucks and so does her attitude. I noticed I was opening, and told her I didn't have a key to the office, she happily gave me one and I was ready for the week to end.

The next day, I was up front by myself training a new girl that is usually in pretest, but she needs to learn how to work the front as well. Everything was fine, it got a little weird and busy in the middle, but I worked through it, and everything was fine. Around 3, the contacts I had in were REALLY dry and basically about to come out of my eye just by blinking. I decided to take them out and get the glasses I kept in my car for this exact reason. These were my shitty glasses I got from Zenni when I didn't work there, so I didn't ruin my expensive lenses I got from them, again not while working there. They don't have a visible logo, and a patient never asked me about them. The only person to ask me about them, were the guys in the lab that cut the lenses for glasses, because they obviously weren't my normal pair. I told them they were shitty glasses from Zenni, and no patients were in the back while I said that. I wore them at the front for about 2 hours, again, only glasses I had on me, and Dr. D, never said anything to me about them, nor was I planning on wearing them there ever again. Friday, I had the day off, and rested and recharged for my Saturday shift on the 31st. I was excited for one, because Kelly wasn't on with me, the next day was Eric and I's 5th wedding anniversary and we had plans to stay in Boston and have a really expensive and delicious dinner, so I was ready to get the day over with and celebrate with my man. At the end of the day, I was looking through money, and remember that guy I overcharged earlier, well, the optician overcharged him again for his sons evaluation, and guess what, no one yelled at her. Anyway, she fucked up money and me and someone else were trying to figure it out, when Dr. D called me back. Now I messed up in the middle of the day, just a very small mess up and I was prepared for hi, to basically tell me to get my shit together and do better, and I would, especially if I wasn't going to be in this office anymore. Do you know how difficult and stressful it is to do your job effectively, with no mistakes, while someone is literally breathing down your neck? Anyway, he told me that they hired a lot of new people and because of that, my position became really competitive, and even though I was improving and I always take what the doctors say to heart and fix my problems, I was just not where they needed me to be, and that day was my last day.

I was COMPLETELY blindsided, like you literally gave me a key and said I was doing great 4 DAYS AGO, what changed from then to now. So, I was like, "okay" backed my shit, called Eric, crying, telling him what happened, asked the optician to move her car so I could leave and cried literally all day, not understanding why this happened.

So now I'm on unemployment, looking for another job trying to find one that makes good money or at least somewhere in the range of what I was making and trust me, it's extremely difficult.

Eric and I decided maybe we shouldn't stay in Boston because now were not going to make the 1K we planned on spending, back like we thought. My mom was nice enough to get us a hotel, and my family was having a party on that day, so we decided to stop by there and say hi, have some food, and then head to Boston and get some dinner. It was delicious and less than half of what we would have spent, although we plan on going there when I get another job. We went back to the hotel and I took a shower and as I was getting out I heard him on the phone with someone and it ended with "sir". I got out and asked him what was going on, and he said he just got a forced shift for in the morning 8-4. He's a cop, and he can't say no to those. We decided to pack it up and go home so he could get some sleep, I wasn't leaving Boston at 6 AM, but it really screwed our plans. I went to my moms the next day and gave her half the money back, because we couldn't use the room. He went to work, then it was my moms birthday. So I got her flowers and a cake and went over to give it to her. I had plans to go to Brockton to get Eric and I dinner at Sarku, since that was our original plan on the way back from Boston, and we had a nice dinner. I was sent a snapchat from my brothers girlfriend and they were singing happy birthday to my mom with a cake that no one ever told me about. So I got dressed and went to my moms, she lives, literally right around the corner.

On Tuesday, I had a normal day, definitely still dwelling about getting fired, but getting over it, regardless of the reason. Sam texts me during the day, and Dr. D, the one who fired me, is telling another employee that I was fired because I was promoting Zenni, which made me LIVID. I never once promoted them, and I actually always bash them because their glasses SUCK and the only reason I had them is because I wanted a blue light filter for gaming and I didn't want them on my everyday, or pay $300 of them at my office. We tell every patient they suck, and they should get nice glasses for everyday, especially people with a high RX, high cyl, or progressives. So now I'm thinking he got that impression from me wearing my Zenni glasses for 2 hours in the office, again with no visible logo, and I'm still livid, because if he did, he should've said something to me about it, instead of firing me. Now I'm mad and want to get to the bottom of this. I email Dr. M, to hear her side and she stuck with what was originally said, and said at the end that I was laid off, not fired, and I could collect unemployment. I made a Tiktok making fun of what she said with the Stewie voice over of "Oh hold on Louis just texted you, do you want meatballs or burgers for dinner… I'll text back for you, same thing bitch, just different shapes" with the caption of "When your boss says you weren't fired, you were laid off". Which by the way, I do know the difference, but either way, I no longer had a job. AND GUESS WHO FOUND IT, you guess it, my fucking former boss, and she emailed me about, super. She didn't take offense, she just explained the difference to me, but either way, still embarrassing. My dad also texted me about it, which I did not answer, because he didn't hasn’t apologized to me.

I filed for unemployment, and it has yet to be approved 2 weeks later. I told Eric not to worry about household chores because I don't have a job and I can handle it while he works. My mom has been BEGGING me to come down to the Cape with my family, I said won't because, A.) there's no where for me to sleep. B.) I don't have a job, therefore can't spent a ton of money, C.) my mom likes to push every button of mine when she's drunk and then wonder why I'm being a bitch, and D.) there's nothing up there that I haven't done already. My whole family went though, and now that my brother is up there, my house is like straight up haunted. I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bed twice at 4:23 AM, and it definitely was not in my dream, it didn't match up to my dream. Then yesterday, I was sitting in the living room and I heard the fire alarm in the basement go off, and as soon as I opened the basement door, it just stopped. Nothing was wrong down there in the first place, and I constantly hear creaks upstairs like someone is walking when they only have their 5 pound cat up there. It's been 2 weeks since I applied for unemployment and I still haven't gotten paid, so I called yesterday and they said that my employer had to finish paperwork, so I emailed her and let her know. She said there's nothing on her end to do, so I called again today. They said that there is an overdue form and she needs to call this number. Told her, and she called and they said there's nothing for her to fill out and my name isn't even popping up under her employer unemployment, so something went wrong down the line, that we're both not sure of.

And the cherry on top…. Eric made an arrest yesterday, and everything was fine and dandy until his LT called this morning, and he had to go into the station. He was told it was a "bad arrest", and I want to clarify, that he arrested a dude for assault and battery that violated a restraining order, BUT, it wasn't in our city, where he works to it was a bad arrest, ONLY because of that. So, now he had to write a letter to the chief and to the union lawyer, along with the other officer at the scene and the LT that approved his report, and we're a little unsure of what's going to happen next and we've both been stressed all day about it. He's doing better now and hanging out, but I can't destress ever.

So these last two weeks have been absolutely horrible and I want to just have ONE GOOD DAY in my time off from not having a job!!

#fml #bad weeks #laid off #fired #investigation #police

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dearcat1 · 5 years ago

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Bastardology

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Event: KHR Rare Pair Week 2020

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki/Xanxus

Summary: Naruto eats Xanxus out of house and home and casually talks no jutsus him. (Not that she realizes, there are more important things to think about, like ramen.)

Story:

"Seriously?" Nobody answers her but Naruto hadn't been hoping for a reply anyway. Kurama's mocking snickers were more than enough, thank you. "Can't a girl have 15 minutes to eat some ramen?"

That question, too, was rhetoric but it receives an answer regardless. "Hmm, sure?" The guy is a brunette, small and adorable and with a head full of fluffy hair that she has a hard time resisting. The urge to pet him is almost too strong.

Beside him sits a white-haired man, eating marshmallows leisurely. Naruto recognizes another pranking spirit on sight. "Ooh? And who would you be?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," and she's too damn hungry to complete the usual introduction. "Where's the nearest ramen stand?" She can deal with the weird interdimensional jump later. Their blank faces are answer enough. Naruto shrugs, she'll find it herself and jumps down the table. "Oh yeah, sorry about your forest."

So she had been a tiny bit startled when they'd pulled her from Ichiraku. And maybe, just maybe, Naruto might be a little Rasengan happy these days. It's hardly Naruto's fault.

As if on queue, a part of the wall crumbles, the forest after it flattened to the ground, and Naruto blushes, gesturing vaguely towards the door before she leaves, long blonde hair swaying behind her.

One of the guys falls into step with her. Dark hair, are those feathers? Red eyes, scars all over him and angst oozing out of every pore. Great, this one is a Bastard 2.0, Naruto can already tell. She's also a master of Bastard-Speak and the leading expert in the field of "how to socialize your bastard."

She needs a better name for it. Bastardology?

Better than anything her father would ever come up with, that's for sure. "Come on," Naruto herds him to where her nose is guiding her. "You're paying for my ramen." This one, at least, doesn't know better yet.

Bastard 2.0 snorts, not even faltering.

Naruto rolls her eyes right back. "Of course you will, you guys dragged me here. Take responsibility!"

All he answers her with is a one-eyed glare.

But as mentioned before, Naruto is an expert in bastardology. "Save it, I'm not one of the fangirls." Bastards always have hoards of them. "They're your friends, believe it."

To that, Bastard 2.0 grunts incredulously.

"Oh, get over it," Naruto pokes him on the stomach. Bastards need physical and verbal affection, it helps them with their regretful bastardy. That said, nobody needs to know that Naruto is purposefully annoying with it.

This bastard, though, seems to be more in the lines of Sasuke after the invasion instead of Sasuke after the Fourth War. He pulls out something from his belt and Naruto reacts on instinct, she tanks the attack to keep the civilians behind her safe and barely manages to redirect the Rasengan she was about to ram into his gut.

"Oh man," she slips his weapon into her pouch and looks despairingly at the crumbling building behind him. This universe is so breakable. So damn breakable. This one was even just a normal Rasengan. "All I want is some damn ramen, you bastard."

That did scorch her a little, though. Which contrary to popular belief, given Naruto's well... Narutoness, is actually pretty impressive. Of course, Kurama is already dealing with it. Speaking off, the energy… it felt like Kurama on a pissy day.

Nowhere near Kurama's old levels of rage but like a human version of it. You know, instead of a centuries-old chakra monster.

Bastard 2.0 is looking at her, eyes slightly widened and mouth parted. Damn him, really, are all bastards this pretty? Naruto props her hand on her hip and glares him down, doing her best Ino impression. She's dealt with Kurama when he was the King of Angst, he can deal with Feathered Murder over here. "Well?"

The guy grunts, sending a pointed look towards her weapons pouch. Naruto, just as pointedly, ignores it. She rolls her eyes, snags him by the wrist and drags him behind her. "Now, you're absolutely paying for my ramen, believe it." She was going to be nice, too. Eat maybe three bowls. Now she's going to empty his wallet.

Not only does she empty his wallet, she pulverizes it. It's no like she set out to be mean about it, alright? She's just been helping with well… pretty much everything. Being a one-woman army has its downfalls. Between working and working and meetings and more working, Naruto hadn't honestly noticed how damned hungry she was. Just that she was.

Which, it turns out, is far too damn hungry. The place is no Ichiraku but the ramen is still good and the cook had no problem sending people out to buy more ingredients as soon as Naruto gave him Feathered Murder's wallet.

The guy's surprise at Naruto handing it over had been hilarious. She can sort of see why Jiraya did it.

Still, she eats mostly the day away but once she's done, Feathered Murder's wallet back in her hands, she snags him again and decides against wandering.

They find a nice rooftop with a view of the ocean. Or maybe, it's more accurate to say that Naruto finds it and drags Bastard 2.0 with her but he hasn't left. So there's that. "So… why are you so angry anyway?"

"What is it to you, trash?"

Naruto ignores the bite in the tone, ignores the insult. She's been called far worse, there's been more venom in the voices of people that now greet her with a smile of admiration. This is nothing to her. "Nothing, really. I just figured I'm as unbiased as you'll ever get, bastard." She is, after all from another dimension.

Bastard 2.0 watches her in silence for a moment and then drops down to sit by her side, close enough that Naruto can feel his heat. Unlike Sasuke, who ranted his fury at her, screamed it between punches, Xanxus tells her in quite even tones that sound of resignation.

For all that she loves them, Naruto thinks Xanxus would understand her better than Sakura or Kakashi. Though maybe not Sasuke. But they're both up there. But the more he talks, the less Naruto finds herself comparing the two bastards. They are both bastards, of course.

But Sasuke is her rival, Gaara her best friend. Xanxus? She thinks that if she let out all those dark thoughts Naruto has long kept inside her, Xanxus would understand them quite well.

"You deserved to be Decimo," she tells him, frankly. Because he did. Would he have been a good one? That Naruto doesn't know but if the title was given to the sons of the current leader, adopted or not, Xanxus qualified. "But why did you want to be?"

Or did he ever? Because to Naruto, it sounds more like Xanxus was hurt that it was denied to him in the first place.

Xanxus makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat, something a little disbelieving. And Naruto wishes she could point him to the direction of the swordsman who has been following them since the beginning, discrete as he thought himself to be. But she asked and Xanxus answered so she grabs a hold of his hand instead.

"Growing up," she tells him, staring at the same landscape he's pretending to watch, "the villagers hated me. The demon brat. They would always look at me with those eyes and I hated it, you know?"

Naruto drags her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. "The old man used to visit me at the orphanage. The one person who liked me in the entire village. The Hokage. The Third. But for me, he was the old man. Closest thing to family I had."

"I love him still, and I forgive him," she ignores Kurama listening quietly as well. "But I'm not an idiot. My parents had friends, a student, but none of them approached me. Not once. To protect me, they said. I know now. He was the old man to me but he was always the Third as well."

There's resentment there that she refused to acknowledge to anybody else, "my father sealed the nine-tailed demon inside of me when I was born and since then, I was a container first and his adopted granddaughter second. For the rest of them, I was a weapon, something dangerous, to be wary of."

Kurama feels worried and she smiles, sending him affection back. "I didn't know, of course. For a long time, I didn't know I was a container. The old man only told me when a traitor spilt the secret and I'll never know if he planned to tell me about my parents. He died before, you know?"

"But even before I knew, I wanted to be Hokage. I wanted them to acknowledge me, I thought that it'll show them I'm worthy of them. I know now the old man told me that to keep me loyal, I'm not an idiot." No matter what people like to tell her. "But I want to be Hokage still. Just for a different reason."

Xanxus is full in looking at her now, not even pretending otherwise. "Why? They're shitty people."

A part of Naruto thinks: I know. "There are people in the village who used to spit at me and now won't stop smiling my way," Naruto tells him, somehow darkly amused. "I don't think I'll ever trust it. But the Hokage is the strongest ninja in the village and I need to be strong. If I am not, how will I protect the friends I finally managed to make along the way?"

And then, impulsively, she sends a smile his way. "I've decided you're my friend, too." Naruto points a finger to his face and watches him go cross-eyed as he leans back. "I'll protect you too, believe it. And kick your ass if you're being too much of a bastard!"

The fist closing on her shirt makes her smile gains teeth. She's expecting Xanxus to throw a punch, she's expecting a somewhat exasperated spar that will leave them both satisfied and her message received. So Naruto lets him drag her to her feet, lets him pull her close.

What she's not expecting are chapped lips against hers, a hand cradling her cheek. Naruto makes a surprised sound and ignores Kurama's facepalm and mutterings about her tendencies to reform assholes everywhere. She presses closer, going up on her tiptoes to deepens the kiss.

#khrrarepairweek2020 #fanfiction #katekyo hitman reborn #naruto #xanxus

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solena2 · 4 years ago

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Hey y’all so I watched a YouTube video that I think was wrong, and as you know it’s illegal to be wrong on the internet, so I wrote a response!

Video is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8LF_KkrCJs

youtube

Spoilers for BNHA, in both the video and my response (which I wanted to put in the comments on the video, but apparently YouTube gets pissy about copypasting? Anyway)

Also, probably watch the video before reading this, since a lot of this is a direct response to the points they brought up.

—

I’d like to preface this by saying that you’ve made some valid comments, and that I understand where you’re coming from here.

My Hero Academia is, overall, a story about amazing people with amazing powers doing amazing things, and it’s difficult to see where someone with no power at all might fit in to this, which is the main emotional conflict Izuku faces throughout his childhood, that fundamental dichotomy between his wanting to save people, and his (assumed) inability to do so without a quirk.

But My Hero Academia is also a story that likes to repeatedly assert that anyone can be a hero. From Aizawa with his non-physical quirk, who primarily uses support gear to defeat enemies many times stronger than him, to Shinsou, whose quirk is seen as villainous, who would likely have to fight against other heroes as often as he would villains thanks to the prejudice that’s positively dripping from BNHA’s world.

So I’d like to explain why I disagree.

First, you begin the video by talking about the people who claim that Izuku’s getting a quirk ruins the story. I would like to make it clear, right off the bat, that I don’t hold this view. I believe that while Izuku having a quirk weakens the impact of the story and cheapens a lot of its messages, there is still undoubtedly a story there to be told, and one that is worth telling.

The reason I believe that Izuku receiving One For All weakens the story is because BNHA is all about the consequences of the kind of society wide prejudice that exists within its world. Every villain the characters face and every problem they overcome is one spawned by the very status quo they’ve spent their childhoods dreaming of upholding- the hero system.

Stain exists because heroes are held in awe by the general population without truly being worthy of it, treated as saviors despite being little more than glorified cops, which spawns anger and resentment from people intelligent enough to see past their facades.

Dabi exists because pro heroes are allowed to get away with just about anything so long as they’re covert about it, and in fact might have grown up to be a hero himself if Endeavor had been held to a higher moral standard by those around him, or had been appropriately punished for his behavior.

All For One exists because “strong” quirks are revered, and those who hold them are taught early to take what they want by force.

Shigaraki exists because those with “unpleasant” quirks are reviled and held in disgust by the general population, which makes them vulnerable to exploitation by outside forces due to their lacking support systems.

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point.

In my opinion, BNHA has always been centered around the society quirks have created and the consequences therein. I dare you to find a major character arc that doesn’t intersect with the universe’s social issues in some way.

Thus, I believe the message that BNHA attempts to convey would be significantly stronger I’d Izuku had remained quirkless, demonstrating once and for all that quirks and heroism aren’t so intertwined as it might seem.

Instead, it shoots itself in the foot, saying repeatedly that it’s not a quirk that makes a hero, but rather their spirit, while at the same time leaving it implied that the most important character of all would never have been able to help people if not for being given All Might’s power. (Again, it doesn’t ruin the story, but it does hamstring the core message somewhat.)

You say here that Izuku getting saved by All Might is the only reason he became a hero at all, being “saved from his fate of irrelevance”.

This is… Not something I agree with, to state it politely.

Izuku was planning to attend UA’s entrance exam long before he met All Might. Given that he is, you know, Izuku, I don’t think any amount of shittiness from Katsuki would have deterred him from trying. In fact, trying despite the odds against him making it seem idiotic to do so is one the largest parts of his character.

The way you speak of needing to give him a “resilient streak” for him to keep trying despite All Might’s discouragement implies that he doesn’t already have one wide enough to suffer through 14 years of being told he’d never make it as a hero. With how much he’s already pushed through by the time the story even starts, I really doubt All Might would succeed again breaking his will any more than anyone else has.

You say that Izuku’s arc is all about facing the guilt of having reached his goals purely through chance while so many others remain downtrodden.

That’s valid, and I agree.

You also say that this is not a character arc he could have had without One For All, which is not.

Merely being the first quirkless person to make it into UA would likely start this, as he would definitely still have to get through the exam on rescue points, which could feel unearned to him, what with his massive case of imposter syndrome.

Thus, it would still be entirely possible to give him the same overall character arc he has in canon, and it might in fact end up even more pronounced, due to all the discrimination he’d face from the general public.

You say that for this Izuku to continue, even despite All Might’s rejection, he would already have to have the sense of self worth such a character arc eventually gives him.

This is not the case. There are many instances in real life of people pushing past impossible odds and still not feeling as if they deserve to have made it to the other side. In fact, what would likely happen is that he’d try to be a hero anyway and then feel guilty for attempting it even after being discouraged by his hero.

So no, he’s not Naruto, because the personality changes you propose wouldn’t actually be necessary to give him a fighting chance as a hero without a quirk.

The next big point you make is that it would be difficult to give Izuku the standard shounen power crawl without a cool quirk.

You’re correct that technology would have a difficult time stacking up to One For All without feeling like an asspull, making him a Mary Sue, or needing to give him a seemingly infinite array of gadgets, a la Batman.

Notice I said difficult, NOT impossible. While it can be much harder to turn technology into a realistic way to fight superpowered villains, it CAN be done.

Not to mention, there is already a character in BNHA who does it and does it well.

Aizawa doesn’t have a combat oriented quirk, instead fighting almost exclusively with the use of his capture scarf, using which he is shown to be able to take out upwards of ten villains, depending on where you want to pull from. I really don’t think it would be so unrealistic to give a quirkless Izuku something along these lines.

Not that we even need to. We can have Izuku beating villains without the use of any technology he couldn’t buy for himself. (At least in a place with lax safety laws, which I imagine his world likely is due to how pointless it would be to heavily restrict the purchase of things like guns when there are people running around who can shoot glaciers from their hands)

Ninety percent of villains are as vulnerable to getting shot as a normal human. If that’s too violent and bloody for the tone of the show, there are dozens of ways to beat the villains with things like hairspray flamethrowers, slingshots, and traditional weapons (just look at Stain). While quirks certainly are powerful, they aren’t perfect and every ability has a counter, even if it’s not always immediately obvious.

This eliminates the problem of him needing to get his tech from somewhere entirely. (Which is almost a con, because Mei needs more screentime, man)

Actually your point of possibly making Izuku a “super genius” reminds me of something else. Izuku has an almost supernatural ability to identify and counter quirks. Gee, I wonder how that could be useful in a possible plot line where he’s unable to rely on being able to smash his way through problems…

You say that if Izuku getting a quirk is an issue for BNHA, giving him overpowered tech would be a problem as well. Though I already solved this problem by proposing less tech heavy solutions, I’ve decided not to skip over this point because it seems like the right place for me to bring up a piece of context you may be missing for why some people are so against Izuku being given a quirk.

Let’s talk about the disability angle.

Now, as someone with mental disabilities myself, I’m not exactly unbiased here. I’m not going to deny that I have a knee jerk reaction to any story that gives a character a disability (or something analogous within the setting to a disability, like quirklessness) and then “cures” it while implying that they never would have gotten anywhere if their disability had persisted. This is actually why I took so long to get into the BNHA fandom, since I saw a loose outline of the plot and immediately went “oh hell no”.

I did end up joining the fandom in the end, simply because I’m almost certain that this parallel was unintentional.

Anyway, the reason why giving him an overpowered quirk and giving him overpowered tech are so different from a lot of people’s perspectives is that giving him tech doesn’t erase his “disability”. If you give a quirkless Izuku powerful tech, he’ll still be quirkless, with all the hurdles and challenges that implies. (Especially the discrimination related ones) Meanwhile, giving Izuku a quirk removes the disability entirely, as well as most associated difficulties.

I’m sure you can see why one seems so ableist, from a disabled perspective.

You say that you would likely run out of ways to meaningfully progress his tech, in a series as long as BNHA likely will be by its conclusion, but I’d like to point out that this is just as much of a problem with superpowered media. It’s very common in shounen for power progression to feel like more and more of an asspull as the story progresses. Thus, you solve the problem in the same way, by relying more on clever use of what the hero already possesses than you do on creating a new application or ability in every fight.

And no, I can think of several ways to beat both Dabi and Shigaraki without “science magic”. Obviously, neither of them are immune to bullets, though again, that’s probably a bit too quick for this show. You could take down Shigaraki if you could numb his hands somehow, or if you protected yourself with something made of many interlocking parts, like chain mail. You could beat Dabi if you used something like a taser, if you could get close enough to use it. You could also just find a way to outlast him, since he’s not immune to his own fire. Maybe bring some gasoline?

I’m going to skip over the points you make while talking about setting, since I don’t believe you’d have to alter the setting to make a quirkless Izuku feasible.

I will talk acknowledge one point you make while discussing setting simply so I can say: inequality and societal imbalance do not require much, or even any, actual disparity in ability to both exist and be prevalent enough to disenfranchise huge chunks of a population. Just look at how autistic and ADHD people are treated for that. (Or gay people, or women, or the Poors(™)...)

In conclusion, your opinion is valid but I think you lack knowledge of where most of this criticism is actually coming from, which isn’t something you should be ashamed of.

I think the reason mine and your opinions are so fundamentally different here is that we’re coming from very different places, and our thoughts on a piece of media like this are always going to be shaped by our environment.

Thank you for reading.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #Izuku #Midoriya #midoriya izuku #Deku #BNHA #BNHA meta #mha meta #my writing #I really feel like it’s important to discuss why different people have different opinions on this kind of thing!#also I’d just like to make it clear that I do like bnha #I just feel like it. like any piece of media (except Undertale lol). had some flaws and issues which should be addressed #consume media critically!#long post #sorry about your dashes I made this post on mobile so no cut #and apparently tumblr has decided that it’s illegal to edit posts made on mobile from a computer #>:(#sol writes

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theunlimitedskye · 5 years ago

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This is your reminder and a nice lesson on how to be a decent fucking human being in fandoms.

Hi.

Guess what?

Just because you don't like or don't agree with something doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it.

Just because you're indifferent or uninterested in something doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to see the good things about those subjects or like certain aspects without actually knowing about the subject.

You're allowed to like things. You're allowed to dislike things. It's when you get aggressive and nasty about is when people begin to have negative opinions on you, and by association, the thing you are offending or defending.

I've had so many people who tell me I'm not allowed to like something without knowing it. I've had so many people come to me and tell me that I'm wrong for liking the things that I do. Does liking South Park make me a racist homophobe? Does drawing PewDiePie make me anti-Semitic? Does mentioning a vague interest in Hazbin Hotel without even being in the fandom automatically make me have an interest in pedophilia? According to some of the anons I've had in the past, it does.

But, hey, newsflash guys, I'M ALLOWED TO LIKE THINGS and SO ARE YOU.

I have plenty of shit that I don't like, but do you see me shitting on everyone? Fuck no. That'd make me a dick, and while I am a dick, I certainly don't want to be one when it comes to other people and what they like. Who the FUCK gave you any right to tell me that I can't like something? Who the FUCK gave you any right to tell ANYONE they can't like something?

If you like something, then you fucking like it! You don't deserve to be judged unless the thing you like is morally or legally wrong. If you like a ship or a fandom or a character then that's fucking fine!! Nobody is allowed to tell you what you can and can't like in these instances. If it makes you happy then it makes you happy! You only deserve to be judged, again, if what you enjoy is wrong by society's standards. Not by the standards of some random chucklefuck on Tumblr.

Another thing. If you're uninterested in or indifferent towards something then that doesn't mean you get to shit on the people who DO like those things. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move. People are allowed to like or dislike things, and if you disagree with their opinions then that's just too fucking bad. You don't get to tell people what they're allowed or not allowed to like, or what they should and shouldn't like. I can give SO many examples of this from my own personal experiences and the fandoms that I'm in, and fandoms that I'm NOT in as well.

Take, for example, the lack of fandoms I've been in. Never have I ever been interested in things like FNAF, BATIM, Undertale or Homestuck. I've never been interested, I've never cared to be interested, and I don't think I ever will be interested. Do I dislike these franchises and fandoms? Do I have some personal vendetta against them or their communities as a whole? No. I'm just uninterested. I'm indifferent. Nothing more.

Now, does being uninterested and uninvolved mean that I can't see the good in these fandoms and projects? Hell no!! They all have immensely unique plotlines from what I've seen, and are each special in their own way. The gaming mechanics that came with FNAF and Undertale are distinguishable and wonderful and should really be considered their own genres, a clear and very large amount of effort went into Homestuck and it definitely shows, and I don't know much about BATIM but I'm sure it's great too.

And hey, guess what? I hardly know ANYTHING about ANY of these franchises. Does that mean I'm not allowed to praise them for what I think are good points and aspects? Does that mean that I'm not allowed to appreciate the time, effort and dedication that went into creating these games, and the sheer love and appreciation that the fandoms give them? Some would say yes. Some would say that if I don't know anything about these things then I should just shut my petty little mouth. But you know what? Fuck you. Just because I never had any participation in these fandoms does NOT mean I can't praise and appreciate them.

And on top of it all, the music for FNAF, BATIM, Undertale and Homestuck fucking SLAP. The canon music and ESPECIALLY, E S P E C I A L L Y the fanmade music. I wouldn't even know about OR3O if it wasn't for All Eyes on Me! The people in these fandoms who dispense such wonderful content and such amazing music deserve to be praised for what they are. They fucking deserve it just as much as the creators of the actual fandoms do.

A few more examples come from the fandoms that I'm actually in, mainly South Park, and mainly regarding a topic that usually can hold a lot of discourse in any fandom: ships.

Now, I don't ship bash. I don't hate people for what they like. I can dislike or hate a ship without hating on the people who ship it. That's called having opinions and being NORMAL about them. I try my best to be open-minded on things like ships and characters. There's quite a bit that I don't ship simply because I'm not interested, and yeah, I'll admit it, there's ships I fucking HATE in this fandom. Rebstella, Jyle, Stangory and Creek are all on my list. I despise these ships for multiple reasons, mainly due to other people cramming them down my throat and not taking it well when I say that I don't really care for the ships.

When it came to things like Rebstella and Stangory, I never used to give a damn. But certain events took place that made me hate these ships with a burning passion. The same with Jyle and the same with Creek. They're the holy rectangle of "get these ships the fuck away from me".

Hate is a strong word, but let me tell you, I mean it with every fibre of my being.

Do I hate these ships? Yes. Do I hate the people who ship them? No. Not in the slightest. I know plenty of people who ship Rebstella and I don't shit on them for it. I just ignore the discussion whenever it's brought up because that's what NORMAL people do.

I know how this world works. I know how this platform works. My opinions are "controversial" and I fucking know I'm going to get people in my inbox screaming at me for what I'm saying regarding these SP ships alone. But you know what? I don't give a fuck.

I don't like Creek. I don't like Rebstella. I don't like Stangory.

Come scream at me and tell me what a horrible cunt I am. See if I give a shit. I'm allowed to have my fucking opinions. That's the entire moral of this goddamn post. I, and other people, can like or dislike things without deserving to be screamed at to conform to the every desire and whim of a souring fandom just because we dare to have different opinions from the rest of the community.

Being uninterested doesn't mean you have to be a prick. I don't ship Pockestella but I have friends who do ship it, and I let them ramble at me about the ship whenever they want to because even if I don't care for the ship, I care for my friend. I don't ship what they ship, but they get happy talking about their ships, so I let them, because I want them to be happy. I don't HAVE to ship what they ship to have a conversation about it.

(Oh, and while we're on the topic of Pockestella, they're not fucking cousins. They're cousins in the book. In the show, they're only stated as playmates. Fuck off.)

The same goes for other ships. Just recently I was scouring the Gregory tags for some nice art to add to my folders, and I found an absolutely spectacular Gregstella piece. A ship that I also don't care for. But the art was superb. It was utterly fantastic and I ADORED the way it was drawn. So you know what I did? I liked the post and saved it to my folder because I liked the art, and I'll probably head back to search the tags for it again so I can reblog it because it was just that good.

I don't ship Kyman, but I love the FUCK out of the Helluva Park AU. Nor do I ship Tyde, but guess who loves the Fleur Bleue AU? This bitch right fucking here. I can appreciate the way things I don't care for are portrayed if they're portrayed nicely or professionally. Does liking an AU where Kyle is a demon make me anti-Semitic? Does liking an AU as fucked up as Fleur Bleue make me some kind of smutty rape fetishizer? Some would say yes. And those people are fucking idiots. Liking something doesn't mean that you support what's portrayed. I've been told I was racist because I liked canon South Park as a whole. If liking South Park makes a person racist then I guess everyone in the fandom is a filthy racist, huh?

Basically, the moral of the post is don't be a prick. You can like things without hating on people or being hated on. You're allowed to have your opinions and other people are allowed to have theirs. If they don't shit on you for what you like, don't shit on them for what they like. We're all allowed to have our likes, dislikes, opinions, stances, ships and preferences. If everyone was forced to like the same exact things in a fandom, it would get very boring, wouldn't it? Fandoms need variety.

Don't be afraid to state your opinions because you're afraid someone will dislike what you're saying. Don't hold back on showing love to the things you love because you don't want hate in your inbox. Show love to what you love anyway and disable questions and submissions. It's that easy to ignore the toxicity. Block and delete buttons exist for just these reasons.

You have to be brave and show love for the things you appreciate in fandoms. If someone hates you for what you're saying, so what? If it's an anon or someone you don't know then why the fuck should you care? You don't know them. Let them hate you. If it's someone you consider a friend getting pissy, well, they're not a real friend, are they? If I had a friend getting up in my case over the things I like or support, or the things I don't like and support, I'd drop them faster than the beat drops in a Skrillex song.

Do you like ships that aren't popular? That's fine! Ship them! You don't have to like what everyone else likes if shipping rarepairs makes you happy!

Are you playing a new game without playing the previous games? That's fine! Play the games you like! (I'm looking at you, Animal Crossing fandom. Fuck off the cases of people who are enjoying New Horizons without having played the other games. I just got New Leaf, are you gonna shit on me because I never played Wild World?)

Do you dislike things that everyone else seems to like? That's fine! You can have opinions! You're allowed to dislike things, especially if they're things that the fandom shoves down everyone's throats! Every fandom has things like that. You're allowed to dislike them!

I'll say it real loud for the people in the back.

PEOPLE CAN LIKE OR DISLIKE THINGS.

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS THAT DIFFER FROM YOURS.

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE THE EXACT SAME THINGS YOU DO.

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE AND APPRECIATE THINGS WITHOUT KNOWING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT THEM.

I NEVER PLAYED FNAF BUT I LOVE THE MUSIC AND I FUCKING HATE CREEK. Are you gonna come yell at me for being brave and telling people my opinions? Are you gonna try and suppress me? Are you gonna try and silence me? To get me to conform to what you like? To tell me that I'm wrong? To manipulate me, gaslight me, threaten me until I step down and admit defeat? If that's your endgame, then find another target, because I don't fucking care. I'm not afraid, and neither should anyone else.

Individuality is key.

This has been your daily reminder on How To Bs a Decent Fucking Human Being in Fandoms.

Love, Skye.

#this has been a psa #everyone smarten the fuck up

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