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thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness · 4 years ago

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“But when I think about it now, I think he is the reason why I started doing that too. The classmate who screams in his room and hits the guitar…. Even remembering it now, it was quite a shock. What are you doing now?” Chapter 2: “The transfer student who introduced me to the noisy music”

Notes before reading: This is from Kaoru’s first book “Dokugen” released in October 2015. Kaoru started writing a montly section in “Ongaku to hito” music magazine during Dir en grey’s hiatus in 2012 and these publications were later selected and compiled in two books.

You can still get these books at the Tower Records site.

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

*The title of Kaoru’s section /book “読弦“(dokugen) can be translated as “string reading” or “reading the strings”*

—–

Preface+Chapter 1

Chapter 2: “The transfer student who introduced me to the noisy music”

*This chapter/article was published on June 2012*

Well, this is the second one. I’m starting to write this before the first chapter has been published so I don’t know anything about the response but I’m going to write this one without worrying about that (Editor’s note: The manuscript of this chapter arrived before the first issue was released!)

Speaking about that, in the previous chapter I talked about purple stuff but, there are even more (purple) things at home, a lot of of picks in front of my eyes were purple. When I asked the person in charge of ESP the other day, it seems like this purple one will be released replacing the ones that are on sale right now.

Since I'm starting these articles/chapters, I want to know exactly how many guitars I own so I took a look at the magazines in which (the guitars) appeared in the past. I checked magazines like ‘Rokkin F’ ( Since 2007, it changed names to WeROCK), ‘Band Yarouze’, ‘Dir en grey Yarouze’ and‘GiGS’. Some magazines are gone now, but GIGS is still often published. After that, I asked the person in charge of ESP about this, but there are signs that probably some guitars are missing. Well, let’s try to find them by the time I write…. I wonder if I can find them….where on Earth are they?....

Before that, I should be worried if I can write so much, there must be many people who think so, including myself.

Because of that, this chapter’s guitar is the first one provided by ESP after DIR EN GREY was formed, Horizon Blue. I don't know what colour it’s on this page, when it comes to shape, it’s the same (than another Horizon’s models) so it would be misleading. The one I saw after a long time was still blue. Is it (the colour) a bit dull? I'm surprised that the colour of some guitars has faded, but I will talk about those ones as well.

As I just wrote, I used this guitar shortly after DIR EN GREY started, before the contract with ESP. I still remember how happy I was when I went to the store and got some strings and other things. I don’t know if it’s the same nowadays, but at that time I aspired to be endorsed by a guitar manufacture, so I bragged about that with my hometown’s acquaintances. Most of the live performances after the formation of the band might had been done with this guitar. I think that almost all the CDs recorded until the debut were recorded with this guitar as well. When I saw this guitar after a long time, there were scratches everywhere. At that time, as I was slamming it and hitting it right away, it’s damaged/chipped.

When I said that, I remember the guy who got me interested in metal and extreme/intense sounds. He got transferred when I was in middle school and even though he was just a middle school student, he set up an audio system in his room. First, he would make his family be in silence and then he recorded the audio of the TV with a radio cassette player. For me at that time, it was impossible to understand.

But getting along with such a guy got me into an evil world. That room was full of metal. Even though he had a neat and clean image, on the contrary, that he liked that kind of things …..at first I was upset in the back of my mind. After all, I was attracted to such a world I didn't know, so I often went out to hang out and listened to various things. I had them dubbed/re-recorded on a tape. Nowadays younger kids don’t know much about what a tape is…Do you know a tape called “metal master” (Sony Metal Master, it had ceramic shell halves and a ceramic tape guide insert) that was totally white, a bit heavy and was ridiculously expensive? I was like “Is this the price for a tape?”, I remember it was expensive...I’m nostalgic.

There were a lot of tapes in his house. At first, I didn't hear them at all, but as I listened to it, I liked GASTUNK, DEAD END, ROSEROSÉ, and Kinniku Shōjo Tai. After that, I started listening to X and COLOR, and it became an opportunity for me to play the guitar seriously. Anyway, I started to like fast songs. But overseas metal was still unfamiliar to me at this time, there was a chance to start listening right after this, but I'll write about it on another occasion. As there were also guitars at this guy’s room, I played the guitar (more like pretending to play) while listening to records there every day, but when I was in high school, he was in a different school so around that time we didn’t hang out that much.

When I went to his house for the first time in a while, the music he was listening to was noisy, and he was just hitting the guitar on the bed while playing it with a roaring sound. When I saw it, I thought, "Oh, this guy is already crazy," and I didn't meet him anymore…..I was pretty scared. But when I think about it now, I think that's why I started doing that too. The classmate who screams in his room and hits the guitar…. Even if I remember that now, it was quite a shock. What are you doing now?

When I was using this guitar, I came to live in Tokyo. I was desperately following the speed of the cycle of creating songs, recording and lives. Still, every day was exciting and fun. I didn't have any money at all, but I thought about many things with everyone and we talked a lot about our previous stories/experiences.

I don't think I'm doing it right now, rather; we are talking about months ahead making plans. It's always fun to think about the band and move on to it. Of course, there are many things that are troublesome, but if something doesn’t go smoothly, my feelings become stronger and I feel like I can adapt/ I got toughen. Right now, with a few things, I’m like "Hey, things will work out”, I’ll do something about it, is that a problem? But the hardest thing is when I can't think those things.

Well, even if there are times like that, it makes you feel alive.

It has nothing to do with guitars, but the In-N-Out Burger which I definitely want to eat when I go to the west coast of the United States, opened in Tokyo for only one day…..I wanted to try it!

Then the chapter is over, see you next month!

(Addition) After this, this transfer student will appear in this column/articles many times. I'm really wondering what's he is doing right now!

Chapter 3

#dir en grey #kaoru #dokugen #translation

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skelanonymous · 4 years ago

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Song Prompt 2

I basically took this as “think on your mistakes, go forward, it’ll be okay”

@a-weird-tree

Words:4.2k

Song(s): It’s Alright - Mother Mother/Panic Room - Au/ra

Skeleton: Nightmare

“I’m here if you need me.”

Nightmare wished the last words he’d heard didn’t have to be from Dream, even if it made a lot of poetic sense considering the task he was on.

The ashen landscape hadn’t changed in the millenia he’d been gone. Nothing different from the day he left, only a statue no longer standing by her side, even the grass dead and non-growing. Time had left this place, following his brother in its frozen state, though the life of this place hadn’t been returned like it had to Dream.

So many bodies. The lack of time had halted the rot, blood stained dirt muddy and thick near his sneakers. The gentle pull from his soul made him sigh before standing up straight to walk into the mass of buildings off east of the hill.

Walking over the uneven cobblestone (made by hand by an older stonesmith who’d been teaching his son at the time), his eye slid over the multiple empty homes. Shops with goods still lining the shelves, broken glass shattered across the wooden floorboards, countertops in disarray from the frantic fleeing they’d attempted, it fell on his chest like an anvil, breath stolen. He pushed past it to step around behind the counter.

He’d only needed to browse for a moment before finding what he was looking for. He grabbed it with his hands, gathering some provisions in a bag before heading back out to his new home.

From the top of the hill, the field expanded westward for a mile uninterrupted. That’s where he’d have to start.

With a blank face, he forced the shovel into the dirt and hauled out the first of many piles. He couldn’t do a full six feet with his hands, but three would give them rest. No animal could dig them out, all had long since gone, so that’d have to be enough.

The shovel was clumsy in his grasp. His hands ached with the work of it before even the first grave had been dug, not used to ignoring his tentacles, where his strength and power were most potent, but no. They had been laid low by his corruption. If he was to find any sense of recompense in the act, it had to be his own two hands by which he sent them to peace.

Shovelful by shovelful, the dirt to the side grew larger than the hole until the first was done.

The first was going to be the hardest to get here.

When the idea had first occurred, it’d been before the truce. He had too much to do, his own corruption as valuable an ally in his fight as any of the others, perhaps moreso. Too much was left to fight for that required its defense.

He had brushed the idea aside completely until the truce had been first drafted. But the truce was fresh, easily broken with a word. Animosity did not dissolve within a fortnight, nor did camaraderie grow, even under the promise of fresh sunlight and clean water. He couldn’t send his best soldier home when war could break out at any second. As weary as it made him, he had carried this longer than he had existed at this point, five times more spent in this shadow than under the shade of his mother. The memories were faded and grey at the edges. He could live without them.

Days to weeks, months to years, all of his company had learned to move on. He’d held none back from their progress. The peace in their eyes made his own ache, but he wished them the best. The last had been Dust, his the hardest to truly relieve. Time truly could heal all wounds.

“I think I’m gunna go to Horror’s timeline...Now that’s the shortage is over, it’s pretty quiet there.” Dust had shuffled in the main hall. He looked so uncomfortable, Nightmare trying to pull his own aura back into himself.

“And Horror is there.” Nightmare took a step back, gesturing to the door with a kind bow. “You’ll do well with him. You suit each other.”

Dust blushed purple, eyelights flicking around, before resettling on Nightmare with sorrow in the lines of his face.

“You could come too.” He looked him in the face, desperate. “Being alone isn’t good for people bo-Nightmare.” Dust fiddled with his sleeves.

“I would impede your progress Dust. My part in your life has come to a conclusion, and I am at peace with that.” Nightmare hoped the smile was reassuring. Dust had fought against the psychosis, no sanity came as hard fought as Dust’s, he deserved the rest. “I have always survived, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“They ask me about you all the time, you know.” He inched closer to the door. A compromise.

“And I ask you about them. We spent a long time together.” Nightmare hadn’t seen any of them since they left the castle. He knew his aura was poison to their progress, an ever present reminder of all they tried to move forward from. He missed them more than he could say. “But even now, you can’t help but call me boss. You have fewer nightmares when you sleep in other timelines. You can’t be here, and I can’t go there with you.”

“We would give up all our progress if it meant seeing you not stay here alone for the rest of your life.” Dust’s eyes watered. “We all wanted you to make it out of here. Being the last means that I failed too.”

“You didn’t fail.” Night wanted so badly to reassure him, but he was negativity, his touch would rob the little strength he had to leave. “I don’t know if I can be saved.” The truth hurt to say. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin. How does one unlearn all that you are?”

“You don’t have enough faith in yourself. Please.” Dust had held out his hand, the other on the door.

Nightmare knew if he reached out, Dust would turn to him and try to save him from himself. But no. Night pulled his hands to his chest.

“Go. He’s waiting for you.” Dust had left with a slammed door.

Then silence.

Silence for months, nothing but dust and books for friends. He’d kept to his castle, afraid of even glancing at them from portals, of bringing as much misfortune as he had to wherever he touched.

The idea had come back to him on the anniversary of Dust’s departure. He’d sent out a small summon to his brother, who’d come the instant he’d been called, fearing the worst.

“Brother?!”

“I’m right here Dream. I’m not in peril.” He looked up from his book, seated on a bench. Nightmare took to reading in the courtyard most days. He’d gotten through every book once before, this was one of his favorites to reread. “Though I’m thankful for your haste if I was.”

“I mean, yeah! No one’s heard from you in a while. I was starting to think…”Dream shook his head. “So what do you need? Anything I can do to help.” He held out his golden glove to Night. He had taken it so hesitantly, his brother the only person who he couldn’t affect but unused to contact after so long.

“I have things to show you.”

He’d brought him through the castle. He led him to every magical artifact, the secret chambers that hid anything placed within them, and a copy of the key to his treasured library. His entire legacy, every tool, things that could not be replaced.

“I think that’s everything. I’m entrusting this knowledge to you Dream. It felt important you know. The others deserve to not be called upon.”

“I agree but why would I need to call them? It’s your castle. I can just ask you.” Dream looked him over with worried eyes. “Right?” Nightmare sighed.

“No.” He held up a hand before Dream could yell. “I am going to be away from the castle. I do not know for how long.”

“Doing what?! Because telling me about ALL of this means this is a long trip!” Night could see all of Blue’s influence in him, almost professionally assessing him to see what they could work through. He was eternally grateful to Blue for his services but not for the inquisition he’d face for this decision.

“It most likely will be very long.” Nightmare didn’t elaborate.

“What are you planning?” Dream grabbed his shoulders, full brotherly concern on display. Night smiled at him. Dream panicked harder. “Nightmare, please don’t do anything drastic. Everyone really cares about you.” Night chuckled but it didn’t reach his tired eyes.

“Unfortunately, drastic is the only way I know.” He flicked Dream on his crown, nose scrunched up with the twang. “I don’t plan on dying in some corner of the world. I’m not a wounded animal.” Nightmare held the trembling hands in front of him. “I just need to go find something.”

“Well let’s go look toge-”

“Alone.”

“Nightmare.” He pleaded with his eyes. “You’ve been alone for so long already. Who was the last person you saw besides me?”

“Dust.” He didn’t shy away from the shock.

“That was a YEAR ago.” Dream pulled him towards the nearest door. “You just need to-”

“Dream.” He’d never felt so tired. It’d been many moons since he’d pulled this card, he only hoped his brother would understand. “Daydream, please.”

The fight drained from Dream in an instant. His eyes softened to tears, so much younger in that moment than Nightmare had seen since he’d awoken from that statue. Nightmare wiped a few away, meeting his eyes with renewed effort, resigned but ready.

“I need this. You’re the only one I can trust with the multiverse. I need you to carry it for both of us. I’m sorry to set it upon your shoulders.”

And Dream, the kind person he was, didn’t hesitate.

“I can handle it Nighty.” He pulled him into a hug. “So you keep looking until you find what you need to. I’ve got stuff handled here, and plenty of help if I get a little overwhelmed. Just...come back.” He’d waved Nightmare off into his portal with a smile.

“I’m here if you need me.”

The first body was the last. She’d been young, the last child, protected at the expense of the adults around her at every turn. He couldn’t even recall her name now. He found her in the forest, picking up her broken body as carefully as he feasibly could using only his arms. He started the sad march towards the hole.

He laid her in the earth with dignity. He cleaned off her face, finding a dropped toy nearby that felt familiar when he saw it, which he tucked into her arms.

Nightmare reflected on her death.

“The last of those bastards. Any last words?!” She’d only screamed. He cut her down painfully, multiple stabs with sharpened corruption, watching her bleed out to satisfy his own need for vengeance, served a hundred times over before this last death. His body fought his revulsion but he let the feeling flow. He’d been despicable.

A flash of memory from that night. It was gone before he could catch it.

He waited another few moments before taking up the shovel again. He covered her as quietly as he’d dug the grave, slow painful work on his hands that he trudged forward through. After the last bit of dirt had settled, he found a stone and placed it at the head.

Then he walked to the right and started again.

Nightmare managed three graves by the time he could not continue. He’d gotten the two people he’d felled just before the girl. He grieved each, laying them to rest, stumbling and pained, but he wanted to do this the right way.

When he could no longer continue, he pulled an apple from the provisions he’d grabbed.

He put it back.

Nightmare made his home by the tree, laying by her stump. He’d spent so many nights here, but the stars didn’t jog his memory at all. Nothing remained of before, none of what mattered to him. His mother was dead, Dream off running the multiverse, he himself changed, what could he even recognize?

He didn’t recall drifting off, though the nightmares that played across his mind meant he had to have slept.

Night grabbed a bit of bread, looked up at the unchanging sky, and got to work again.

For weeks, the same pattern: wake, eat, lay the villagers to rest, consider the apple, sleep restlessly. Night’s corruption claimed his mind first, and many lives after. He owed them all the proper burial they’d been denied for centuries now.

Each dream got more vivid. The first taste of corruption, the first few to fall, turning Dream to stone, it got clearer each day. It wasn’t doing wonders to his sanity. Part of him wondered if this was the best chance of recovery, or of losing it completely and killing either the multiverse or himself. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he’d walk to the river in the forest.

The sound of running water was louder than his thoughts in the silence of the universe. He walked along it with his hands in his pockets and would imagine the castle.

Who accompanied him changed each day. Killer smiled but often made jokes at his expense or that of the dead. Dust’s hallucination acted as his own, egging him on to find more to kill. Horror’s mentioned the feast lying around, endlessly held edible by the lack of passing time.

Error only visited once, his silence drowning out the brook. Nightmare left early and didn’t finish a single grave.

On a particularly productive day (he’d gotten through five), Dream accompanied him, and that’s when he remembered something from long ago. His voice complained, but he still knew the words.

The old folk song travelled across the world. The villagers had taught them at first, but Nightmare had sung Dream to sleep so much, he looked into so many more songs. He serenaded his phantom Dream from his small walk and slept peacefully for a single night.

The next day, his voice acted on its own.

He hummed while digging. He sang to the dead as he moved them, as an eulogy after their entombment, and went back to humming when he filled them and moved to the next. The silence of the world invited many demons, the lilt of a song brought back warmth of the past he’d long since lost. He remembered telling the others he didn’t sing; whether it was a lie or he truly forgot, he didn’t know.

The amount of graves was starting to stretch out far from the tree stump. He’d been at this for months, and now, the dead left numbered in double digits.

As he reached the last thirty, he leaned back onto the tall stump and realized nothing had blocked him. His unused tentacles had unformed, not needed and no longer reflex. Night breathed a sigh of relief up at the steady sky. Maybe he had a chance after all.

That night, when he considered the apple, he managed to put it up to his mouth. Not bite into, but it was progress, like so much else.

The second to last day ended as usual at first. He’d begun to sing songs he’d heard in other universes, voice strong from use. His hands had gotten so much better at holding the metal handle. His arms had regained strength, and bit by bit, the color was finally starting to leak back into the sky. This universe was healing. It had waited for him to return.

He only had one grave left. The village elder, the first to fall, the leader of the attacks against him. Night had never known his name besides Elder.

His vengeance should’ve started and ended with him.

No, that wasn’t the way to think anymore. Night had become what they feared, even if it was at their insistence, and a restless afterlife and the death of all his kin falling on him was punishment enough. He dug into the earth, humming the village tune, when the phantom heckled from behind.

“How dare you sing our song when you forsook us, monster.” Nightmare didn’t rise to the bait. He was not so lost as to not know reality from his own manifestations of guilt.

“Your brother was always the better one. I bet you killed him too.” Purposefully wrong, trying to pull him into this argument, he kept digging. Nightmare knew better than he did then. Young Nightmare had risen to many challenges he needn't be bothered with, but age brings wisdom, his past self having no ability to act out of the script he’d been forced to follow. He finished the grave with a wipe of his forehead.

“What do you think this does? Do you think this makes up for what you took? Our lives are not returned with this worthless ceremony.”

“Nothing will make up for what I took. I can only hope to be better going forward and to give back all that I am able.” Nightmare moved the body, staring directly at the ground, avoiding the phantom’s glares. “This place can move forward, and maybe then I can begin to.”

“As long as you are a monster, your mind will never leave this place, beast.”

“On that, we agree.” Nightmare bowed to his grave before beginning to fill it, the final task of his penance here. “But it can’t be killed easily.” The elder’s phantom considered him, before speaking carefully.

“Things borne of ourselves are the hardest to kill. We often choose to remove outside influences over those within.” Nightmare was struck with the memory of attending the elder’s many sermons. He had been a teacher as well, often giving lessons to the population for free. “But I can see its vice grip on you has loosened. What have you brought to kill it?”

“Nothing but myself and an apple.”

“Then I pray it is enough.” Nightmare finished the grave, dropping the shovel down for the last time.

“Me too.”

The final headstone set down, he turned towards the tree stump.

Nightmare did nothing in half measures. He’d come prepared to die here if he needed to. So much of the night of the corruption was lost to the sludge, memory melted away by the power, only the spark of his brother’s positivity clear as a direct opposition to his own. But this corruption was magic, and all magic had a counter, an equal and opposite. Much of spellcraft found counters in the reverse, but how does one reverse something as horrifying as that night?

It was crude, but he tried. Night had said goodbye to Dream. He buried the villagers in reverse of the order he’d killed them. Now, he reached into the bag.

One crisp apple. It only took one to be lost.

He took it with trembling hands. It was so easy to raise to his teeth, almost calling for him to bite into the succulent skin. He closed his eye and bit down.

The corruption was acrid in his mouth. It tasted of the poison it was, but its darker temptation of power had made him bite into it again, and again, and again, until nothing remained. Anything to stop the judgement, the finger pointing, the thrown rocks, never having a place except by Dream’s side, and Dream had so many places he could fit effortlessly.

His eye flicked up to his brother, standing just under the tree, full of now blackened apples, his mouth full of the sludge he’d become, a pang of sadness at the horror on Dream’s face.

“Remember me as I was.” Then he’d grabbed the second. By the sixth, the tentacles had come alive on his back, ready to maim that which came to attack, but when he turned around, he was back in the dead world alone. His mind still pulsed with the event as if he’d lived it only a moment ago, and he couldn’t waste this opportunity.

“RAHHHHHH!” His vision blurred on the grass, tentacles furious digging a hole where no bodies lay. His body felt full, stuffed with corruption like a balloon, singeing his nerves from everything that ran black, pouring from his face directly into the hole that now was the right size. With a moment of clarity, he shoved his fingers down his throat.

He wretched endlessly, thick black corruption pouring out of him in heaves, unable to catch his breath while it left his body. It pooled and filled the hole. So much corruption, in such excess of all the magic in Nightmare’s body, his arms shook trying to hold him up. His soul burned raw, so much being torn from his entire being that it threatened to destabilize. He collapsed on his side, still spewing the poison until he passed out, unable to continue.

He came to gasping. His hands leapt to his throat instantly to soothe the burn. It stung, but looking forward, there was no liquid in the hole he’d collapsed beside, though what was inside was worse.

One black apple, unassuming in the otherwise empty hole. Night almost didn’t touch it.

When he reached for it, his eyes caught his hand. Pure ivory, matching the ivory arm, visible with both of his eyes.

He was free.

That aided his hand. He grabbed the apple, unafraid. Nightmare would not make the same mistake twice.

A glance around revealed more color than he’d remember seeing in ages. Flecks of green among the grass, the sky bright with a sun he hadn’t seen in eons, and a breeze of wind from time returning after so long gone. The world freed from stone could move forward, and now so could he.

His first order of business was clothes, his own ruined many times over by now. His corruption had held the poor things together, but sleeping on rocks hadn’t been kind to the soft hoodie.

Picking through the village felt less somber now. These items would wear away with time, and he could use them. He grabbed some boots, loose pants, a purple tunic, and a worn leather bag to wear over his shoulder. Inside, a few provisions, the black apple, and a few books for his collection amongst the village, he had refused to set foot here before now.

Where to go now? He was free from his corruption, but not from himself. Nightmare himself was still an entire project he’d have to work at.

Though with his corruption lifted, it felt invigorating to have a fate of his own again.

First order of business was probably Dream. He’d left him alone for a long time, though the strange flow of time had made him lose track of exactly how much. He pulled on his magic to generate a portal.

“Fuck!” He’d reset himself back to the start. Of course he had little to work with. He’d have to ask Dream for a lift home when he got there. After a quick straightening of his back, he stepped through to wherever Dream was. He’d pulled on their connection to form the portal instead of picking a place. He walked down some sort of hallway he didn’t recognize, reaching the end of it to turn towards the noise.

Lots of eyes on him, he’d walked into a party. Probably Blue’s based on the amount and varying universes of the guests. He waved awkwardly.

“Um, hi.” He heard something shatter.

“Nightmare?” From the crowd, his brother squeezed out, bolting straight for him. Nightmare held his arms open and braced for impact.

“Yes Dream.” He managed to stay standing at his brother’s hug, but only just. He squeezed him hard enough to crack his back. “Be careful, you’re the more powerful one now.”

“I don’t care about that!” He clung to him and sobbed openly, which was really soaking up Night’s tunic, but he owed him this, rubbing his back through the tears. “I was so w-worrieeeeeed!”

“Well now you can stop worrying.” Nightmare chuckled at his over emotional brother. Then he felt the hand on his back.

“Is that really you boss?” Horror’s deep baritone reverberated down through his hand, shaking Night’s more fragile form. He mentally forgave Dream’s reaction when he turned to look at him. His hand rose to rest on Horror’s cheek, tracing under his chin to get a good look at him as he used to. His own eyes watered for the first time in decades.

“You look so well Horror. I’m...so happy...to see you.” He cried through it, holding him tight to feel the now sturdy bones underneath. He missed his boys so much. He didn’t even flinch at the sudden touch to his back, hearing Dust’s soft murmurs.

“We’re happy to see you too Nightmare.”

His soul, full of this feeling of reunion and relief, let loose tension it no longer had to hold. The future held much trial and tribulation, but it held equal amounts of moments like this, bonding and joy over simple celebrations.

Nothing but his own future.

#nightmare sans #story time #dreamtale #I decided to do a nightmare centric piece because I am a nepotist

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evilisk-played · 3 years ago

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Games in 2021, Part 4

My break from games is over

= = =

Dimension Drive System: PC (Steam) Genre: Dual Screen Shmup

This game had a free weekend around E3 Month. I found out about the free weekend too late to get through the entire game, but what I played was crazy impressive. I have to pick this up when I can, the dual screen gimmick is mind-bendingly impressive!

Touhou Soccer Moushuuden System: PC Genre: Sports RPG

While this isn’t my first time playing Touhou Soccer, this was my first time actually completing the Main Scenario... yes, my first time playing this game was solely on its side mode. I actually cleared Travel Mode, on the hardest route, and even beat that monstrosity that is Travel Mode’s final match... though I may have used more than a few retries for that last one ;D

One thing that struck me is that this game is really, really good at building the hype. More than having some of the most ridiculous, over-the-top animations ever, the game’s use of cuts is honestly masterful; they really know how to build the tension. Another thing struck me, but this was less of a positive; this game’s difficulty is kinda broken. Maybe it was my previous playthrough of the game, but almost nothing about the Main Scenario troubled me. The only match I actually struggled with was the final match... and only because the other team had a literal gamebreaker on their side (i.e. PC98 Reimu and then Rinnosuke).

The exact same thing happened with my Travel Mode replay too. I breezed through the game (mostly. I mighta “lost” the first fight against VIVIT, though I technically had more points) and then Rinnosuke, again, literally stopped me in my tracks because he’s just that broken in Touhou Soccer. Finding the game to be too easy (except for the times the CPU had a literal gamebreaker on their team) really ruined some of the magic for me. I still beat both modes and I still had a fun time, but it’s disappointing to find it doesn’t hold up so well.

Ratchet and Clank (2016) System: PS4 Genre: Platformer / Third-Person Shooter

I finally got around to playing this and honestly? It’s fine. Just fine. The discourse around the game “being inferior” to the original made me expect a bad game. It’s not a bad game at all. It’s perfectly fine. I can only see this being bad if you thought this was an attempt to replace the original game which... it wasn’t. In fact, it was a pretty obvious attempt to cash in on the (bad) movie adaptation.

Yakuza: Like a Dragon (aka Yakuza 7) System: PS4 Genre: JRPG

Unpopular opinion but: I didn’t think this game was terribly great. I didn’t hate my time with the game. But the stuff I enjoyed about Yakuza 7 had little to do with the actual change in gameplay. The actual RPG gameplay just isn’t there... yet. At its worst, the game is janky (like with its targeting system), frustrating (like with its difficulty spikes) and uninteresting (with its dungeon design). At its best, the game is still incredibly imbalanced. No joke, some of the best skills are the ones unlocked first (like Ichiban’s Teamwork skill, or a certain assassin’s Head Trauma move). That this mediocre gameplay came at the expense of certain aspects that I enjoyed about the series (like the fast-paced levels, the tense boss fights and the brutal heat moves) makes the game even harder to love.

Now while Yakuza 7 wasn’t terribly good, I will admit something; it did get me excited for the series again. I was big on the series during the PS3 days but fell off around the time of Yakuza 0. Yakuza 7 may not be that great in and of itself, but it sure has me excited in the series again. Aside from making me want to catch up (just so I can see how Kiryu’s story finally ends) the game has me hopeful of Yakuza 8. I may not like the RPG combat, but it really does have potential. Also, for all my rattling on about gameplay, I didn’t hate Ichiban and his friends at all.

Here’s to hoping that Yakuza 8 delivers.

#dimension drive #ratchet and clank 2016 #yakuza like a dragon #touhou soccer moushuuden #touhou soccer #games i played in 2021 #games i played

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caribouwritings · 4 years ago

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Sub-Zero

I was only three when my older brother Eddie died. He had a brain tumor; he died a couple weeks after my birthday and a couple weeks before his.

He did just as he told our mom when he said, “I stay four.”

On June 27th, my big brother was gone at age four.

***

My parents tried to give me a happy life. They gave me privileges that some kids are not as lucky enough to have (such as a vacation almost every year). Despite what the therapist had said when the event happened, I was damaged and it was only a matter of time before it would all show in forms that got glossed over repeatedly.

I didn’t just lose my brother, I lost my best friend, my protector, my guide… I lost my Eddie.

Although I can now say it and not think much of it, I still cry at the thought I was cheated out of a big brother to teach me the ropes and take my hand when I was scared.

Senior year of high school was the hardest. I was graduating (on that day fifteen years later) and my brother did not even make it to kindergarten, which he was so excited for because he’d get to ride a bus; His favorite thing in life besides me, our family, Scooby-Doo, and Donald Duck was anything with an engine.

I outlived my brother who knew what he wanted (it could’ve changed in time, but it would still involve cars and trucks), and I had panicked. I believed people when they told me I would be a great English teacher. I wanted to be a writer, but everyone kept saying I am a teacher at heart. There was just a couple teeny tiny (major) problems: I hate school (and still do), I am very selective with what I choose to read, and I don’t talk unless I want to or need to.

Kudos to those who teach, but I’d rather not go back. School for me was where I had my individuality constantly beaten out of me, I was bullied by other students for who I was, have been accused and associated with things I am not, and my mental health got worse.

However, being non-confrontational, I just nodded my head and let myself be pushed to a major I did not want and watched as I slowly went downhill, and crossed paths with someone a little bit before graduation who is just like me… sort of.

I was looking for some new games to play that are like Street Fighter II. While watching a Top Ten Best Fighting Games of All Time video on YouTube, the channel (Watchmojo) ranked a video game called Mortal Kombat (2011) at number two, right next to Street Fighter II which placed number one. When I saw the game on clearance at Walmart, I put it in the cart with the plan to take over the unused Xbox 360 in the living room bought by my parents’ for the Kinect feature. My mom did not care anymore, she was just grateful that the expensive gaming system collecting dust under the TV stand was finally being used.

I played through several kombatants (yes, with a ‘K’, most ‘C’ starting words are replaced with a ‘K’) in the Ladder Fights and Test Your Luck challenges for hours enjoying the blood and gruesome moves.

I oddly kept finding myself drawn to Sub-Zero, the blue ice assassin (don’t call them ninjas, they find it highly insulting). I didn’t know why though; I couldn’t figure out why I thought the man with ice powers was intriguing. Curious by nature, I did what I do with everything else I found fascinating, I dug for all the information I could find. It didn’t matter how useless and random, I wanted to know everything about the world of Mortal Kombat, and I now know a huge chunk of it.

Sub-Zero’s real name is Kuai Liang, and he was originally called Tundra. He is the younger brother of Bi-Han, the first Sub-Zero in the series, and Kuai Liang took the name Sub-Zero after his brother’s death to honor him. That was the only similarity I thought we had, but I was so wrong… I was so wrong.

Mortal Kombat is super violent. The two ice powered brothers are best known for a fatality where they rip the head and spine out of their enemy opponent, both parts still attached together like a twisted party trick (and this is also the main origin to the ERSP rating system in video games). I am not even strong enough to lift a twenty pound puppy without nearly dropping the stubborn Shepard Labrador mix back on the ground with a thump. Plus there’s the other stuff on the surface: blonde Caucasian female with an olive shade of green eyes, a bubbly persona and pink girly appearance, versus a dark haired Chinese American male with icy blue eyes, a cold persona and super violent history.

“He is just a video game character, he is not real. You don’t need to care this much for this fictional character.”

I know that. Kuai Liang is not real, but his story is real to me.

Kuai Liang went through hell. Everything bad that could have happened, did happen to him. He lost his brother when Scorpion—the wraith of the NetherRealm (and the franchise’s fan favorite character)—killed him in retaliation for killing the whole Shirai Ryu clan, his kind-hearted wife, and innocent baby boy (spoiler alert, it wasn’t Bi-Han at all! Scorpion was tricked into killing an innocent man!). Wanting to avenge his brother’s death, and avoid the Lin Kuei’s new cyber-initiative their Grandmaster was keen on, Kuai Liang and his best friend, Smoke, ran away to find the answers to what happened to Bi-Han. Right when our new Sub-Zero nearly has his revenge and is to kill Scorpion, he is stopped and surrounded by members of his former clan who have been converted from human to cyborg; despite the robotic outsides and still human insides, they are brainwashed to obey like full-fledged robots. He is taken back to the clan and suffers the same fate of being turned into a cyborg and is renamed LK-520, then sent after Smoke who managed to get away. Lucky for both of them, cyber-Sub-Zero is knocked unconscious and Smoke gets help from his new allies to reset Kuai Liang, but although he gets his control back, he is now stuck as a mashup of man and machine. Until (in a rushed scene of the game) he is killed and his soul is sent to the Netherrealm where he is rebuilt from what is left of his remaining bits of human organs and bone inside his robotic shell. Although human again, he is now under the mind control of the sorcerer, Quan Chi (spoiler alert! He’s the real person behind Scorpion’s suffering!), and is now working alongside both the man who framed his brother and the man who murdered his brother, along with several of his new allies that died as well. In the tenth game, he is freed from Quan Chi’s control by being in the right place at the right time (and by also being a fan favorite character too).

That should be the end of it, but it’s not. This is right before I realized how perfectly Kuai Liang’s life parallels mine. This is before I read the comics.

Like I said, I get invested in stories to the point I want to find out everything I can. When I found all three volumes of the comic series on Amazon, I couldn’t resist and I bought all three.

When UPS came to deliver the package, I brought it straight to my room plopping the brown cardboard box on my bed, and cut the tape open with a pink mechanical pencil. I didn’t care for the other two books I bought (except enough to hide the one I bought for my little sister’s birthday in the closet) because there they were. Volumes one, two, and three were at the bottom of the box under giant green bags of air that are satisfying to stomp on and give unsuspecting siblings heart attacks, but that was unimportant in this moment. I took the three volume books out and spread them on my bed, and dived right into the unknown; into the rebuild of the Shirai Ryu, the second generation of klassic characters, and what happened to those who lived or were brought back like Sub-Zero.

Sub-Zero, at this point, was my favorite character. In volume two, however, there was a shift in my view of him. In that shift, he became my number one favorite character ever and sealed his place into that spot permanently.

Kuai Liang had become possessed by a cursed dagger in the previous volume, and it continued into volume two. Scorpion (he is a good guy now… sort of) and his apprentice, Takeda, go after him and get the dangerous dagger back, but the curse makes it hard for Scorpion to reason with Kuai Liang. Scorpion becomes frustrated and the two fight to what they believe to be the death, until Takeda manages to get the dagger away. Kuai Liang exhausts out all the remaining evil within him, and then is left standing there perplexed by why he is there and what is going on. It doesn’t matter to Scorpion though, he still beats the bewildered young Sub-Zero to a bloody pulp and leaves him to die.

Kuai Liang rethinks his life as he lays their bleeding out, so when Bo’ Rai Cho (ew, trust me on this one, just ew) comes to him to help him get back on his feet, he asks him, “you haven’t figured out what all these events mean? Why I’m here?”

Kuai Liang’s answer is, “I must commit hara kiri…”

There. There it is. Right there. That is the line that made me see I am more like Sub-Zero than I thought I was.

We lost our older brothers, we lost our individuality, we were beaten, we were bullied, we were brainwashed, we took orders, we went down wrong paths, we battled the world, we battled ourselves, and we took so much of a beaten that we laid in our own blood, sweat, and tears thinking “I must commit hara kiri…”

What is hara kiri? To simplify, it is suicide.

I remember putting the comic down on my stuff animal infested bed and staring at the lavender colored walls, looking at the big picture. Sub-Zero is a strong warrior with ice powers, and he hit rock bottom. He may be physically stronger than me, but he is just as broken and weak as me on the inside. He put up a shield, hiding behind his anger just like I hid behind my smile.

I picked up the comic again, and skipped frantically through the pages of volume three just to get to Kuai Liang and find the answers. What did he do and how did he survive to be in the next game?

It is complicated and complex, but the answer is different based on how you interpret his story. I obviously interpreted it well, because I am here. I am okay.

#caribou speaks #caribou originals #caribou essays

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fuckupsoverhere · 5 years ago

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Little Did I Know {Chapter Six}

Summary: While working in a local café, a mysterious man comes to your rescue. How will this end? Not very well. You should know that, but it would never stop you. Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1477

Warnings: Swearing, Gunshots, Violence

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I had been at Tom’s place (I learnt that it was Tom’s from Harrison) for about a month, when I walked into my room and saw that someone had bought one piece of every clothing for me to wear. There were piles upon piles of shoes, handbags and every piece of accessory that I could imagine. While some of the clothing was nice and stuff that I would usually wear, others were things that I would never even think about wearing, mostly due to it not suiting my body type or looking incredibly uncomfortable. Most of the clothing was expensive brands that I couldn’t afford, and I felt very bad wearing. Nearly everything was the correct size for me, which made me very confused and slightly alarmed.I had also become very comfortable around the boys, but I felt like the twins did not like me. They tolerated me because of Tom. Tom had become very protective over me; he wouldn’t let me leave the grounds, which was starting to drive me insane. No matter how big the mansion was, it was suffocating after a month. Harrison and the twin were always right beside Tom, and I always had a shadow following me. I was definitely going to start to get cabin fever as Tom and Harrison would both leave the house while I was stuck in here, with my shadows. While in the pool, I couldn’t see any of Tom’s guards watching me, looking around, I noticed that there was no one around. Slowly, I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around myself, looking around the garden. I walked towards the back door to get inside as I felt uneasy. As much as I had hated being followed and babysat, it was reassuring and made me feel safe. I tried to open the door; however, it wouldn’t budge. I pulled harder but nothing happened. Bang. A gun shot rang through out the garden. I dropped the towel and started running. Running faster than I had before. While I wanted to get out of the garden and away from the house, I needed to make sure that the boys were okay. I went around the house and opened the front door to more gun shots. Standing in the doorway, I had no idea what I was doing. Should I run into a dangerous situation in just my swimsuit or do I run for help? Stuck between running and hiding. However, as soon as I heard footsteps making their way towards me, I made my decision and ran though the door inside the house. The room that I was in was a small cupboard, filled with cleaning supplies and bed sheets. It was a tight fit, but I managed to hide in there. The footsteps stopped, but it was replaced with shouting and more gunshots. I looked around to find something to defend myself with, the most dangerous thing that I could find was a spray bottle of surface cleaner. I grabbed it and got ready to spray at anyone who opened the door. The door opened wide and I sprayed the bottle multiple times. I grabbed whatever else was in reach and threw it as hard as I could. The whole time, screaming at the top of my lungs. “(Y/N)!” Harry shouted and I froze. Opening my eyes, which I don’t even remember closing, I saw Harry and Sam stood in front of me. They were wiping their faces of cleaning product and Sam had a small cut on his forehead, couldn’t make him hate me anymore than he already did. “What are you doing?”“I heard gun shots and, like any normal person, got scared.” I told them, “I didn’t know what to do.”Harry and Sam looked furious, they each grabbed my upper arm and pulled me out of the cupboard. I protested but their grips were firm, pulling me around the house into the dining room. I knew that I could probably get out of their grips if I wanted, because Tom had told them that they were not allowed to leave a single mark on me, but that was too much effort. They dropped me into a seat at the table and as I tried to get up, I felt their hands on my shoulders. My heart was pounding, I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat. The dining room doors opened, and Tom walked in with a few friends. Just the sight of his face, filled me with content and happiness. My heart stopped trying to jump out of my throat and it took all of my strength to not run and jump on him. It was clear that Tom hadn’t seen the twins and me, as he was still talking to his cronies that dragging a man in. I looked carefully and noticed that the man was the guy who had been assigned to follow me around. He had been badly beaten up and the fear bubbled up inside of me, again. I suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable in just a bikini, regretting ever decision that led to me ending up here. The man was thrown onto the floor and Tom had bent down to his level. Harry suddenly coughed really loudly to get Tom’s attention; I assume. Tom’s head shot up at us. Despite him not being too far from me, he looked like he was miles and miles away from me. “What. Is. She. Doing. In. Here?” Tom whispered, and the twins let go of me. They walked over and started whispering in his ear. I felt trapped. I didn’t know what I would do, because Tom looked furious at me, the twins, the man and everyone else. Before I even knew what I was doing, I started crying. It was the first time that I had properly broken down in front of all of them. All of their eyes were on me and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.Standing up, I shouted, “I’m tired. I’m scared. I’m fed up! I’m making myself food and then I’m going to bed!”I started walking out of the room when I heard one of the men mutter under his breath, “Guess the bitch is on her time of the month.” That is when everything went red. I grabbed his shoulders and raised my knee into his privates, before just walking out of the room. Making my way into the kitchen, I could hear them all talking about me. At this point, I just felt empty. I’ve spent the last month being scared, angry and sad. There were no more fucks left for me to give. I had decided that if Tom and the boys were going to keep me in the dark then I was just going to give them the cold shoulder. I started spending all of my time reading books, baking or working out in the gym. I always made sure that I had headphones on me because I would need a distraction from the boys if they were also in the room. Being the strong, independent woman that I am, I didn’t need the boys for anything. Their company was nothing in comparison to the company of Austen and the Bronte sisters or just Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. Tom was just as stubborn as I am, so as soon as he realised that I was ignoring him, he told everyone to leave me to myself. However, Harrison still tried to talk to me. I felt bad for him because I couldn’t give into him or Tom would win. I am making a statement and I am going to make sure that these boy listen.About three weeks of giving everyone the cold shoulder, I realised just how badly I missed Tom and Harrison. Waking up in the middle of the night, I decided to see if either Harrison or Tom were awake, after having a particularly bad dream. Having covered myself up in a dressing gown, I made the short journey down the hall to see if he was awake. The anticipation of actually talking to Tom again, made the short walk feel longer. Just as I went to knock on his door, a hand snaked around my mouth while a cold metal object was pushed into my side. Panicking, I flung my arms and legs around, trying to scratch or kick whoever was behind. There was no way in hell that I was going to go down without a fight. Whatever object had been shoved into my side, was used to hit me around the head. As the weapon was pulled away, blood started to pour down the side of my face. Trying my hardest, I tried to remain conscious and fighting. But I was losing.

Authors Note:

So, I am really sorry that this took so long. I am not making excuses, but I am letting you know that I may not be regular with updates for a while as I have only just started university and have only just gotten over my writer’s block

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #Harry Holland #nikki holland #sam holland #dom holland #swearing #swear #mob #mob au #MOBAU #mobster #harrison osterfield #cafe

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oidanceboy · 4 years ago

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hogwarts

tl;dr: Billy comes from a harsh home life, and goes to hogwarts amidst family strife and the miner’s strike. He punches a kid on the train for not leaving him alone. He cusses out the sorting hat for placing him in Gryffindor. He is shown to be an excellent and graceful flyer only helping out the Gryffindor quidditch team when they are desperate. He somehow becomes a prefect a mystery no one has been able to solve. He gets into constant trouble, and in his sixth year McGonagall tutors him and helps him become an Animagi with the form of a swan. After hogwarts he replaces the seeker on the Appleby Arrows quidditch team, and is able to still live at home and help out because of where they are located in England.

Billy had been showing signs of having magic since he was a child. Coming from a muggle family, in a mostly muggle mining town their wasn’t really much they could do about it. When he got his letter for Hogwarts shortly after the strike began he wasn’t sure what to do. No one was really able to help him. He didn’t really tell anyone about it, he was just grateful that he had intercepted the post when he did otherwise he would have to reveal this to everyone. He had fully intended on ignoring it, except his best friend Michael found it, and showed it to Debbie who in turn showed her mum. Turns out Michael is observant, and caught Debbie on a broom. Debbie was a year younger than him and had hoped to go to Hogwarts so cue her surprise, and slew of cursewords when she found out.

Meeting with Mrs. Wilkinson had been nerve wracking. As Billy had no clue what to expect but she helped him through everything. Everything was going fine until they decided to go to Diagon Alley to get his things for school, Mrs. Wilkinson insisted she would help pay for things as it wouldn’t be too expensive as long as he didn’t mind hand me downs, he said he didn’t as all of his stuff was just that. However, because of the miner’s strike things were coming to a peak with tension. The morning they were supposed to was not a good one, and there was a yelling match between Tony, Billy’s brother, and Mrs. Wilkinson. When Billy brings up that his mother would have let them go, Jackie reminds Billy that his mother is dead. Jackie was also very hurt that Billy didn’t tell him as his mother while being muggle born was also a witch. Not that Billy ever knew this.

Jackie comes around even if Tony is resentful of it all, the scrounge up some money to be able to afford things without Mrs. Wilkinson’s help, so cut to the day before he’s supposed to go to Hogwarts and they are trying to find there way around Diagon Alley purely hopeless, thankfully a family of red heads is able to help them out.

They arrive at Platform nine and three quarters, and have a tearful goodbye. Billy for the first time is alone, and doesn’t really know what to do. He humbly makes his way around the train trying to find an empty compartment. He doesn’t want anyone to see him cry. Someone does, he asks them to leave him alone, and they don’t listen. So he knocks them out. He runs to one of the train, and the betting pool by the older students start him being a Hufflepuff is a heavy favorite.

He finally finds a compartment, talks with a few kids some are older, some are in his year. And things seem to be fine. No one mentions that he broke a kids nose. And he is eternally grateful. They get to Hogwarts and people are excited for the sorting ceremony though no one could tell him what it was, which didn’t help anything. They walk into The Great Hall, he sees the hat, and things go as they normally do. Until his name is called.

He had introduced himself as Billy to everyone, so hearing “William Elliot” in Professor McGonagall’s voice was a bit of a shock. But he went, William was his name, he just didn’t go by it. He goes up to the stool and sits on it, the hat is placed on his head, he knew the basics of the houses, fully confident he would get placed in Hufflepuff. If he had been betting in the betting pool he would have lost. The hat was on his head not even a second before it announced “Gryffindor!”

Billy stood up hat taken off his head by McGonagall and turned to face the thing, and went, “What the fuck you on about?” There were giggles, Minerva would have facepalmed if she could. Dumbledore looked far to pleased with this revelation. “Pretty sure that thing is fuckin’ wrong.” Gryffindors were cheering, not at all offended he’d fit right in.

McGonagall exasperated just told him, “Go sit at the table Mr. Elliot.”

So he did, whispering to the closest student, as he did, “I can’t believe you lot trust a fuckin’ hat. Do we put on pants ta decide where we sleep?” the student burst out laughing which got him a glare, and Billy just shrugged. He should have been a Hufflepuff and he’ll prove it.

Well over the years he certainly proved that he should be a Gryffindor. The next year Debbie came she was a Ravenclaw, obviously he still called her fuckin’ stupid. She said he was crap at magic it was normal.

Billy excelled at flying, multiple times he was asked to be the seeker for the team after his first year. He was quick and graceful. He denied it. He didn’t like the roughness of the sport. However on occasion you could see him soaring after the snitch on the pitch in free time. Billy was the most graceful flyer you had ever seen. How he got the snitch to do this, he’ll never tell.

Billy was good at charms and excellent at wand work. He joined the dueling club and became a very formidable opponent. Just like with flying. In a duel Billy was graceful. He looked as if he was dancing. And Billy liked that comparison alot. He couldn’t ever say why.

His favorite subject was transfiguration and it was the subject he worked the hardest on. It was always his highest grade. He did just below average in everything else. But he worked hard to get into the advnaced transfiguration classes even if they were really hard for him. Even if he continuously struggled. He had a goal in mind, he wanted to be swan, he wanted it since he first saw McGonagall turn into a cat.

So sixth year came around he walked up to her while students were trickling out of class, and he asked, “How the fuck do I become a swan.” McGonagall sighed, but agreed to help him.

By the end of the year with her tutelage Billy was one of the few officially registered animagi to come out of Hogwarts. And he let people know it too. In fact his last day of school his seventh year he transformed into a swan almost as if it was part of the ceremony and took off. He came back later elegantly riding on a broom.

For all that Billy was graceful and elegant. He was violent. He was a Gryffindor through and through. And don’t tell anyone but he was definitely the reserve seeker for the Gryffindor team that they used in a pinch a few times. It was not desirable as Billy made the game go by almost too quickly.

He caused trouble all the time, often not holding his tongue around teachers, and not giving to shits if he got called out for it or not. The fact that he got prefect in his fifth year to this day is one of the most hilarious things that has happened to Gryffindors in a while. But no one seemed to mind, at least he was decent at it.

After Hogwarts Billy went back home for a bit and helped around town. But Mrs. Wilkinson sent him off and told him to get a job in the Wizarding World. So he did. Even though he never played a game of Quidditch at school, and more or less swore off the sport, he joined a professional Quidditch team. He replaced Gregory Cotton on the Appleby Arrows after the illegal wand and cabbage head debacle.

note: that this takes place during the 1980s when Bill and Charlie Weasley are at Hogwarts. However, most of this verse can take place at any point in the HP timeline. Nothing is completely set in stone. The only thing that would change is that he wouldn’t replace Gregory Cotton, he would just come on as seeker of the Appleby Arrows.

#verse: hogwarts : flying like a bird #verse information

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beawake · 6 years ago

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Titans revisited

(through the eyes of Donna Troy, shared with the other original sidekicks in a chat)

I liked the Titans show, but I was disappointed that the OG 5 sidekickes weren’t in it. So naturally I had to change that. Here’s my rewrite on Titans, from Donna’s POV and with commentary from Roy, Garth and Wally when they get the story from Donna. It’s with a hint of birdflash and the series compliant DickKori. It’s a six chapter story, so you’re warned. Here’s the first chapter! I would also like to thank @deathgirl3014 my amazing best friend and beta for correcting my mistakes and giving commentary at the same time.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Also on AO3

Chapter 1

Donna thought that she was doing pretty well in life. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it was better than she imagined it would be twelve years ago. She had a good job that she liked, and it helped her get by. She had hung up the tights (for good this time, she was sure) and she had friends she could count on. She may not see them as much as she would like, and she may not be in contact with them as often as she wished she was, but all in all, she was doing pretty well.

Or that was what she thought, until one idiot lost bird came knocking on her door, right when she was about to walk out. She had been in a hurry already, her photographs where put up in a gallery and she was already late.

And when she saw Dick Grayson standing at her door, she was perplexed to say the least. She didn’t say anything, waiting to see what he would say. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and Dick was very bad at staying in contact. But Dick didn’t say anything either.

“I quit.” Is all he said, when he finally decided to talk.

Donna grinned, she couldn’t help herself. “Great to see you, too.” She answered, before walking past him. She walked out the door, closing her house behind her. “I’m late, “she continued.

When she walked away, Dick stayed behind, giving the door a confused look. She turned around but didn’t stop walking. She really was late after all, and best friend or not, Dick couldn’t expect her to let everything fall just because he came back from doing whatever in Hades name he thought he was doing, without any contact and dropping the bomb of quitting. Quitting, right, he had tried that before and not much later she saw Robin on tv in Chicago.

“You coming or not?” she asked. He decided to follow, good decision if he actually wanted to talk to her. Which Donna had hoped he would, she had missed him.

“I thought you already quit Batman,” she said, when Dick stayed quiet. “Not Batman this time.” Dick probably thought that explained it, but it really didn’t. Her expression must have shown that, because he elaborated. “Robin.” Donna sighed internally. Of course. So, something must have happened. Suddenly everything made a lot more sense. Of course, Dick would come running to her when something happened. He always had. It was their thing. They always told each other everything. They were each other’s support system. It was something that happened after being best friends for most of their lives. “Okay,” she said calmly, “What happened?” “Couldn’t keep a handle on the violence,” Donna felt her heart break, “It was getting worse.” He had always had a problem with that, she blamed Bruce. “That’s hard to imagine.” And it was. Donna had seen him, fighting with blind rage, not noticing when he nearly went too far. By Hera, she had held him back from beating people to a bloody pulp. “Yeah,” Dick whispered so silently that she nearly missed it. “I know. I went cold turkey. Burned the suit.” Oh, dear gods, now that’s rich kid talk. Donna nearly gaped. “Wow!” She was searching for the right words. “That’s dramatic. Mine’s in the closet.” She frowned, giving him a half-amused look. “Those things are expensive.” “So how did you do it?” Dick asked. “Do what?” “Quit.” Oh, now she got it. “I didn’t quit.” She stopped walking, facing her best friend. Dick looked more confused than ever. “I just- stopped.” She felt for him. This was heart breaking. How he was so focused on it, that he had to go to such lengths to stop. She cursed Bruce again. “How is that different?” She gave him a wry smile. “You’ll figure it out.” He didn’t look convinced. “Really.” She added, trying to reach him, to convey what she felt. “The hardest part is that it just takes time.” It hadn’t been easy for her to stop either. But it had clearly nowhere been as hard as it was for Dick. Dick sucked in his lips, nodding thoughtful. Donna hoped that he got the message. “You mind if I hang at your place a while?” he asked. “I’m fine sleeping on the couch.” He would have to, she didn’t have a spare room. “It’s got your name on it,” she said solemnly. “Stay as long as you need-” and then she grinned, and leant in closer. “As long as you’ve still got game.” She hung her bag sideways over her body and ran into the alleyway. There was a trucker parked in it, but that was no issue for her, and if it was for Dick? Well, she would have her answer. She jumped up, landing on the front and jumping again, over the truck with a flip even Dick should admire. She heard Dick let out a small laugh. Mission accomplished, she thought. He probably said something else, but she was too far off to hear that. “I’m waiting,” she called out. Dick got the message, she heard him climb on the trucker and not long after he came in her view again, jumping off the car with an unnecessary flip. Ending in a pose solely to show off because that had to hurt his ankles and knee. “Oh, I’ve missed you, Boy Wonder.” She smiled. This felt right, and no matter the circumstances, she was glad that Dick Grayson came knocking on her door. Dick laughed again, out loud. It warmed her heart, and she was glad that he had made the right decision to reach out, even if she wasn’t completely sure what happened to cause this. “Oh, that’s my favourite one.” “All right, look,” she said, getting serious again, “I’ve got a showing of some of my work later. Why don’t you come along and hang out with some fabulous, normal people? How’s that sound?” Dick’s eyes grew big, but he nodded rapidly. “Great.” Then he narrowed his eyes. “Too much?” He asked with a grimace. Donna nodded. “Yeah, a little bit,” she agreed. “Yeah.” “Yeah.” She shook her head softly, turning around and smiling a bit disbelieving. “Why am I doubting this idea already?” She rolled her eyes and started walking away. Dick followed.

They walked into the gallery, Donna couldn’t keep the smile of her face. This was her work, shown here for everyone to see. This was what she had been working for. “Wow, all this for you?” Dick commented. “Yep,” she answered proudly, grinning even wider. They walked further into the room. “Some of the works were published online, but most of it’s my personal stuff from when I’ve travelled.” Donna looked around, seeing all the people there, watching and admiring her pictures, it was really nice. “This is really good,” Dick said, pointing at one of her works. It was one of her better ones. A guy she met while traveling, pointing a gun at the sky. You saw just a silhouette, to show that it could be anyone. The picture had a sense of freedom, but also of danger. “Don’t sound so shocked,” Donna was slightly offended, but she knew he didn’t mean anything bad with it. “No, I mean it.” Dick genuinely looked concerned. She smiled, “Yeah, I know you do.” She allowed herself to enjoy the moment for a bit, Dick’s praise meant a lot to her. “Right,” she said after a few seconds, “There’s some people I need to talk to. You-” Yeah, Dick was gonna hate this, “go ahead and… mingle.” She said in the end, and she was immediately rewarded with a scared look from her best friend. “Mingle?” “You know, have an interaction that’s not agenda-driven?” Dick chuckled sarcastically. “Conversation instead of an interrogation,” Donna continued. “Why?” “You could use some work on your small talk.” “I know how to make small talk.” Donna had to stop herself from laughing at him. She made a face instead. “Sometimes you’re confrontational.” Understatement of the year. “No, I’m not.” Dick said with a breathy laugh. “Like, right now.” “I’m not.” Donna looked at him with wide eyes. “Wow, that was adult.” Dick grimaced. “I have to go be Donna Troy. You just,” she patted him on the chest,” just try and enjoy yourself?” Dick hummed in, well definitely not agreeing, but Donna could be sure that he would at least try. “Are, too,” She couldn’t stop herself when she walked away. “Am not,” Dick said after her. She smiled, she had definitely missed this. Too bad she wouldn’t be able to see how awkward Dick was going to be.

[Donna Troy added Garth Of Shayeris, Roy Harper and Wally West to the chat] Donna: Guess which dumb fucker came knocking on my door? Roy: Our very own Bird Boy? Donna: Guessed it in one Wally: What happened? Why did he come knocking? Is he alright? Donna: He has some very big daddy issues and burned his incredibly pricey Robin suit. But he’s physically fine? Garth: He burned his suit? Roy: He did what?? Wally: Why did he burn his suit??? Donna: I don’t know, he just said that he quit and went cold turkey Donna: and burned the suit, cause he’s dramatic like that Roy: So, there won’t be a Robin anymore? Are we breaking up? Garth: Really Roy? Breaking up? Donna: There’s still Robin, apparently Bruce adopted a new kid Donna: With lots of anger issues, if I have to believe Dick. Donna: And like he would ever be able to really quit Roy: I like him already Wally: Of course you would Wally: He’s replacing Dick and that’s how you react, really? Roy: I didn’t mean it like that and you know it asshole. Donna: Guys please, calm down. Donna: Sure it gives Dick major daddy issues and more Donna: But we haven’t met him yet, so let’s not judge Donna: It’s not his fault that Bruce is running for bad dad of the year Garth: So, Dick stopped being a hero permanently? Donna: So he says Roy: He won’t keep that up for even a week Wally: Wanna bet? I say 3 days Donna: Idiots, the both of you Garth: Yeah, we probably shouldn’t be betting on this Garth: I give him 4 days Donna: He’ll be back in 2 days max Roy: You’re on, but no cheating. Donna: How dare you Arrowhead. I would never Wally: You suck at lying. Donna: Do you want gossip or not? Garth: Gossip Wally: Definitely. It’s been too long since we had a reliable source Donna: Dawn is a reliable source Garth: Not for Wally she isn’t Wally: Shut up Roy: Both of you shut up Roy: Give us all the juicy details Don Donna: So Dawn was right and also wrong. Dick did basically adopt that kid Donna: He’s totally turning into Bruce like that Donna: and he ditched us for another team Donna: He says they’re not a team Donna: But they totally are Donna: Apparently he also kinda adopted another kid too, can change into a tiger or something Donna: And he’s parenting them with some superpowered woman Donna: that he gets all heart-eyed over Wally: I don’t like her Roy: Count me surprised about that Wally Donna: Gotta go!

Donna saw some of the people she wanted to speak with and put her phone away, the others could wait. She was socialising with some guests at the bar when her phone went off. The meeting was set up. It sucked that she would have to leave her own showing, but it couldn’t be helped. Now she just had to find a way to explain this to Dick. She found him alone with some food. Right, mingling, he was so good at it. She touched his elbow to get his attention. “How’re you doing?” she called out. “Make any new friends? Learn anything?” she said when Dick turned around to face her. “Well, I’ve had about a hundred of these bacon-wrapped dates.” That was just sad, she felt bad that she’d have to leave him. “Great. Uh, look, I just, uh, I got a text. It’s a, it’s a work thing. Someone I need to go meet right now.” She put her phone away, hoping that Dick would for once in his life just let it go. “So, we’re leaving?” He sounded hopeful. She chuckled, “Me, leaving. You, having fun. Seriously Dick, just try to relax. Let your hair down. Have a drink, have two. Pretend you’re with Bruce one a yacht.” He looked like he considered it. “I always got seasick.” Dionysus help her, her friend was completely hopeless. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and said, “that’s why it’s pretend.” “I’ll be back in less than an hour okay,” she patted his chest to wish him good luck and started walking away. “You want company,” Dick called after her. “No thank you,” she called back.

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Druck season 2, episode 5 reaction

Sorry this is late! You can blame it partly on the ~polar vortex~ and partly on fatigue.

anyway, who’s ready to solve the great mystery of the ages, Whose Dick Is That

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Hotel Hardenberg

The doorbell is ringing. Mia wakes up in utter contentment, love that little shot of her foot stirring. The apartment seems to have been tidied up and Alexander’s bed on the floor put away.

Alexander has left her Post-Its as a parting gesture, there’s one on her phone with a heart. Charming move! He comments that she snores. Also charming from a certain perspective (that perspective is Mia is adorable). His other Post-Its in the apartment indicate that he’s made her rosehip tea and thank her for staying at Hotel Hardenberg, what a dork.

Mia gets up to go but then strips the bed. A sign of her compulsive neatness and need for order, especially after that order has been broken by staying at Alexander’s? Or just her wanting to be a thoughtful house guest? Or her wanting to erase the evidence of her presence? All three?

On the way out the door, Mia runs into Björn, who describes himself as a friend of Alex. So, probably not his brother. He’d tell her if he were his brother, right? Saying “I’m Alex’s brother” seems more trustworthy for most people than “I’m Alex’s friend.” And he gave his real name, we know that Alex is referring to a Björn in his text messages with Sam, so Björn can’t have been worried about Alex telling Mia about him and Mia knowing who he is.

Björn says he’s here to get something. I sure bet Alex doesn’t know about that! Something shady is happening! He asks her name and Mia gives it to him. Ohhh, dear girl, you don’t know it but that was probably not a good move. (The biggest plot twist would be if Björn was some totally harmless guy that Alexander had wronged, so Björn was trying to avoid him at all costs and Alexander was trying to find him and apologize.) (I 100% do not believe that is the case but damn it would be a trip.)

The clip started with the doorbell ringing so that must have been Björn. Was he trying to see if Alex was home so he could sneak in while the place was empty? Because evidently Björn got into the building fine, and usually there’s better security in those places, and he’s the one who opens the apartment door, not Mia, so he must have had a key. My guess is that Björn is like the sister’s boyfriend/ex/friend who would have had access to the apartment before Alex moved in.

Alexander sent her a text that he’s in London, doing business/real estate stuff for a few days. #ishereallythatrich - Heh, but what are the odds he’s doing something else?

So I bet that’ll come back eventually, that Mia saw Björn entering the apartment, and she didn’t tell Alex right away. But damn, imagine if Mia hadn’t woken up with the doorbell and Björn walked in on her while she was sleeping. Or if she hadn’t left yet and caught him rummaging around through Alexander’s shit.

Clip 2 - Linn the apartment ghost

One week later due to the hiatus, Mia and Alex are texting. When he asks her how she’s doing, she starts to type out a friendly reply but then stops herself, but unfortunately Alex can see when she’s typing

He asks her to go out for a drink, she says she has to study. They have some “banter” and I know they are flirting but it just makes me tired that part of their dynamic is “I won’t go out with you” followed by “Are you sure?” It’s an issue that extends beyond Winterberg, Noorhelm, or any other version of this pairing - men are socialized not to take no for an answer from women, and it’s too prevalent in real life to really get over it in fiction. Like this texting could’ve been about anything else, more banter about them snoring (Mia says he also snores) or her playing the piano or his Post-Its or literally anything other that this no-yes-no dynamic.

It’s exacerbated because it is a case of “Well, she doesn’t really mean no, she does actually like him.” Mia almost seems disappointed when Alex stops texting back. And again, one of my big problems with how Noorhelm and all its equivalents have been portrayed is that we don’t need more stories where a girl keeps saying no when it turns out she kind of means yes. You can’t separate this individual story from the larger cultural trend.

LMAO, Linn announces her presence by loudly slurping on a drink behind Mia She just wanted to see what’s up with Mia and has been standing there a while. This moment is played for laughs but I think it’s also meant to be a reminder that hey, Mia and Alex aren’t in their own little bubble, other people exist and are eventually going to find out that something’s happening with them. It’s almost like Mia has been caught.

New shot during the end titles of Mia in a hoodie looking dramatic. So far we haven’t seen any of these little end scenes in action. Are these just for promo? I think it’s more likely that they’ll happen in a later episode, I just find it interesting that none of them have taken place yet.

Clip 3 - Dicks in the air

Photocopies of boobs and blurred out dick drift by like tumbleweeds with nipples as Mia heads into the school. A girl hands her a boob picture for some reason, as if Mia needed one for personal use.

When she steps into the school, there’s boobs and ass and dick and the middle finger everywhere. We can hear a literal buzz as people observe. Accompanied is graffiti that says Abi Chaker Clan 2019 - 12 Years Family! Lmao, is that a teacher frantically trying to gather up copies on the stairs? You try your hardest, sister.

Kiki steps up and observes, takes a picture of the display. Where have you been, Kiki? Last we saw you, you were breaking Carlos’ heart.

Kiki thinks she recognizes Alex’s penis in the pictures, and Mia is like “get that picture out of my face plz.” Kiki hands it to Mia as she walks away, and Mia can’t resist a glimpse of the dick, which is blurred out for us viewers, by the way. I’m just laughing at the thought of Kiki the dick detective solving this whodunnit. Remember on New Year’s where Mia was kinda “???” about Kiki’s future profession and ended up with influencer? I would say Kiki’s true calling is solving phallic-related crimes and picking dicks out of a lineup except, as we learn later in the episode, she ain’t that great at it after all.

Hanna shows up in an echo of Kiki’s entrance and is like, WTF, we’re in trouble. They see Alexander and Jonas hugging it out in the distance and are like, when did they become friends? So I’m guessing this graduation prank is taking the place of the Yakuza fight, and it’s Alex and Jonas who have the suspicious friendship rather than P-Chris and Isak. I APPROVE. The Yakuza thing has always been out of place IMO, tonally, and I didn’t like how the fight ended up leading to excuses against William smashing a bottle on a dude’s head. This prank is something that’s serious but not so serious that I’d consider it a red flag/dealbreaker against Alexander. It’s also a lot closer to Mia personally, and affects her and basically all the characters - the Yakuza thing felt weirdly disconnected from Noora and the girl squad, only something that involved them because they happened to witness that one fight and some of their friends/boyfriends were involved.

It’s also a replacement for the Penetrators trashing the cabin, and I fully realize that this is hypocritical but I also prefer this somehow even though it’s functionally the same thing, destruction of property. Maybe because again, it’s more connected to the rest of the characters as a plot point.

There’s this rather extravagant shot of someone throwing a bunch of the copies over the banister and they float down around Mia, just a ton of boobs and butts and dick wafting like snowflakes, and it’s so ridiculous that I love it.

Clip 4 - Mia keeps some interesting things in her bag

Leonie’s leading a meeting, again. This time it looks like more of the graduating class, not just the committee. She explains that somebody, probably several people, broke into the school Saturday night and made copies of their …. She trails off and Carlos helpfully supplies the displayed body parts with anatomical precision.

Someone give Leonie’s actress an award for that brief look of disdain at Carlos after he says “You’re welcome” and before she turns away.

Because someone sprayed the Abi Motto on the wall, the school thinks someone from our year did it. Carlos and Jonas call it bullshit, fake news. Just as an aside, I’ve seen the term “fake news” pop up as a joke in SO many films and TV shows recently, including that Kurt Russell sexy Santa movie, and like ... I certainly understand why and I’m not opposed to “ironic” usage, I’m also just aghast that we’re at a point where it’s mainstream, you know? 2019, man.

Anyway, one of the new and expensive copy machines broke from the prank and “copy orgy”. Sam whispers to Amira that they didn’t just make copies - so was there a literal orgy on the copy machine? Or just the weight of people’s asses broke the machine?

Kiki says she thinks it was Alexander, and I thought it was extremely fishy for Kiki to be so quick to blame Alexander, and that maybe she was involved in the prank or even trying to frame him, but obviously that turned out to not be the case. So I think she just wanted him to be guilty so he could get in trouble. And she’s telling Mia, who she thinks will be an ally in blaming Alex.

So now they owe 4500 euros to the school. Either who did it owns up and settles it with their insurance, or the school takes it out of the Abi account. Leonie gives the culprits a chance to reveal themselves. Man, what if Leonie was involved? The perfect crime, the least likely suspect…

Alex smiles over at Mia but that expression fades, Sara waggles some xeroxed breasts at him and he smirks. So those are her boobs, right? She seems pretty proud.

No one confesses to the crime, so Leonie says they have to raise the money again, thanks for nothing. Lmao, Leonie is such a hall monitor type that she’s really growing on me.

There’s some tense music as Mia is exiting the room, and of course Alexander is waiting for her. She walks right by him, to the door. On second thought, she turns around, pretends to rummage in her bag (we see she still has the dick pic so I guess the possibility that it’s Alexander’s is enough for her to keep it around) and then pulls out what she was looking for - a middle finger. That’s so petty, I’m in love with her. She goes out the door and Alexander does not seem pleased.

I mean, to be fair to him, Mia did jump to conclusions right away. (Conclusions that happened to be right, although not about the dick pic.) And I think this was in a way about re-establishing the natural order of things, getting back to “Alexander’s a selfish asshole” territory rather than her liking him, in addition to the whole class being punished. To be fair to her, too ... it’s only recently that he’s shown some decency, and he has a history of doing crappy things.

Alex was texting Mia on Saturday, though, right? About wanting to go out and get a drink with friends? So maybe that will be used to exonerate him, he was busy with other people. (EDIT from the future: Lol, nah, his “drink with friends” turned into the prank, I guess.)

Clip 5 - Team Michi

Mia has handed over the dick pic to Hans for his opinion, I guess? Hans seems to be a penis connoisseur so I understand the sentiment. And his opinion is that it was a “heavy petting orgy” at least. He asks Michi for his opinion. Good, Michi is there! I think it’s nice if Hans is getting a little romance of his own, although he better be treating Michi right and not taking him for granted.

Hans teases Mia about why she wants to know so badly about what happened at the school on Saturday night, and if she isn’t a bit jealous. She says curiosity isn’t the same as jealousy. Sure, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mia goes to ask Linn for her opinion (Linn is sleeping already) and Michi feeds Hans. They have a little couple moment. Aww. HANS, TREAT MICHI RIGHT. He’s cute and he makes food for you.

I’m wondering if the whole Hans/Michi thing is going to be a parallel to Mia and Alex, where a relationship that didn’t seem feasible at first becomes something real, and maybe they’ll have some relationship difficulty when Mia and Alex do. Though in the beginning of the season Hans and Michi seemed to parallel Alex and Kiki quite clearly, or at least Mia was making that connection, so who knows.

Clip 6 - Always look before crossing

Mia is leaving for school in the morning, and who should be there but Alex with two drinks in his hands. Rosehip tea or cocoa if he’s feeling sentimental.

We don’t hear what he’s saying because Mia has her earbuds in, so it’s just the faintest sound of his voice over the music. She ignores him and goes to unlock her bike, he keeps talking, she points to her earbuds to indicate that she’s not listening. We see him mouth “please” and she finally takes out her earbuds and accepts the drink. Which I would too, because I’m shameless and thirsty and I wouldn’t turn down a free warm beverage in the morning.

There’s a little editing blip because in the clip, the music doesn’t cut out right as she takes out the earbuds, it’s a moment or two later when she puts them in her pockets. They fixed it in the full episode, though, and it cuts out when she takes out the earbuds.

Alex clearly sees Mia taking the drink as a victory and smiles. They walk along side by side by a moment until Mia calls him out for being spoiled and doing whatever he wants and not owning up to it. He says they were drunk. Wait, so he DID do it???? And he says she’s blowing it way out of proportion?? I’m surprised because I thought we’d learn that Alex didn’t do it after all. It seemed too obvious, Kiki was so eager to blame him that it seemed like a misdirect. And I mean, I don’t think it’s right that he and the others are making the entire graduating class reap the consequences, but I don’t think the prank is an unforgivable thing he did in itself.

They argue a little and she’s about to bike across the road when Alex grabs her and pulls her back just as a car goes by, honking. She’s like … this doesn’t change anything. Alex is like, well it kinda does. “I saved your life, Mia Winter!” Well, she was distracted by him in the first place, so consider it even? (I binge-watched Russian Doll on Netflix this weekend so I can’t help but think this moment could have taken a drastically different turn.)

Mia bikes away but is smiling, which is awfully chipper for someone who just had a brush with death. I would be in the fetal position the rest of the day.

Alex stares after her and walks in the other direction. Errr … away from the school? I assume he was going back to his car, parked closer to Mia’s place.

So that mystery was done solved pretty quickly and anti-climatically. Kinda disappointing because I think it’d be fun to drag it out just a teensy tiny bit more - the mystery element of Skam is something that’s really underrated, when you think about it, even though it’s a large part of what kept people watching in real time.

Clip 7 - Sam just drops a bomb

We get a closeup of Sam blowing a bubble with her gum and then popping it. Like how she’s about to burst that bubble about Mia and Alex?

The girls are discussing the prank and that Alexander was in on it. Kiki is like, I knew it. Damn, she really wants him to go down. I don’t blame her, though.

When Amira asks how Mia knows, Sam says Alexander probably told her. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE. Druck is throwing curveballs everywhere this episode. I did not expect to see Sam reveal this information so quickly and casually; I thought she’d save it for a more dramatic moment later on, after Mia and Alex definitely were a thing. Sam says Mia is always talking to him, and Mia rushes to explain that it was all because of Kiki (lies) and she told him what she thought of him (well, that part is true) and that Leonie told her about Alexander (another lie - not looking good for Mia).

All the girls get a text at the same time. Sam says her battery sucks so we conveniently get Hanna reading the text out loud for us viewers. Alexander has arranged a benefit concert to make up for the damage so no one has to pay extra. BOY SAM WILL BE PERFORMING, and there will be a surprise musical act, too. I’m just glad to see the toilet man again.

The girls are excited and Hanna’s like, TIME TO STOP STUDYING. I don’t think she needs much of an excuse, really.

Alex texts Mia to say if she doesn’t come tomorrow, he’ll cancel everything 😊 GODDAMMIT. I realize Alexander is supposed to be a dickhead, but do we really have to keep this manipulative crap? Can he not just be like … arrogant and jerkish without that element?

Kiki looks at Mia getting another text, and you can see the suspicion all over her face. Sam’s comment struck a match.

Clip 8 - Mia crosses that bridge, y’all

I love when we get a long-ass Friday clip, thanks, Druck!

Mia shows up to the benefit concert by herself, and Toilet Sam is rapping onstage. Hello again! She runs into Kiki and says she’ll join the group in a minute. Does she need to talk to Alexander first?

We see Mia putting on that bright red lipstick in the mirror. I am sure she’s doing it just because she likes the color and not because there are any Alexander-related motivations that she would never admit.

Mia notices Alex skulking across the club and staring at her like some kind of Edward Cullen wannabe. It’s only episode 5, I guess they still have time to pull off a sudden vampire twist. (And I mean ... Alexander did just pull Mia out of the path of a car ... a Twilight parallel if I ever saw one.)

Of course Alex sends her a text telling her she looks gorgeous. It looks like he wants her to drink with him; however, Sarah comes up to him and gives him a hug and kisses him on the cheek and talks to him. He doesn’t look very enthused, but Mia smirks and shakes her head at him. That Alexander, up to his old tricks! Between that and the copy orgy I’m sure she’s thinking Alexander and Sarah have a thing.

People dance and drink to Toilet Sam’s performance. We see Jonas getting really wasted, and Matteo seems kinda done with it, so it’s Hanna who pulls drunk Jonas off the dance floor, and he tries to kiss her. MY HEART. But she pushes him back and asks what’s up with him. He says, you’re what’s up with me. THE ANGST. I said this last season, but Anselm Bresgott is a great actor. He’s able to convey a lot of vulnerability with his eyes.

When this happened I thought that maybe instead of drunk Eva/Vilde makeouts we would get sad intoxicated Jonas trying to kiss Matteo in this clip, and I was all for THE ANGST that would bring. Either that or Jonas was gonna make out with Toilet Sam.

(He did not make out with either of them - yet - but it’s OK because there turned out to be enough of THE ANGST as it was.)

Alexander comes onstage and Toilet Sam gives him a shout-out for organizing, and that they beat their goal (by almost half, awesome). They’re giving the rest of the money to plant trees on campus, to make up for all the dead ones they spent showcasing students’ genitalia. How noble!

Sarah is the surprise performance of the night! So her contact with Alexander was not necessarily about them hooking up, but perhaps her thanking him for giving her the opportunity? Sarah sings idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish.

After some more eye contact with Alexander, Mia leaves the room and goes upstairs. But Alexander stands in her path and won’t let her go to the bathroom. Come on, dude. You’ve been doing some things right but this episode you’re doing all these little entitled things.

He’s like, Mia, what do you want. He fixed everything? Everyone’s happy, so what’s her problem? LMAO again at this entitled attitude. She owes him nothing! The thing is - even if she really really likes him and wants to kiss him and be with him - she still owes him nothing! She’s allowed not to act on her feelings because she feels it’s a bad idea! Get out of here with this attitude that Mia is doing him wrong because she likes him but won’t give in and be with him.

He lets down his hood and rakes his hand through his hair in a strangely vampire-ish way, and says there’s something between them. He likes her a lot, but he’s tired of these games. Dude, you’re the one starting many of these games now. Yeah, Mia is definitely responsible for much of what happened earlier in the season, and she could certainly be better about not contacting him, but he’s also the one showing up at her place with a drink and telling her he’ll call everything off if she doesn’t show up to the benefit. He gives her the lines about if she doesn’t like him, say it to his face and he’ll leave her alone forever. Just as he says that, Kiki comes out of the bathroom, and there’s some heavy eye contact between her and Mia, and oh right, that’s what Mia doesn’t like him, that’s why Mia can’t be with him.

Heh, he put down his hoodie to confess to her, because he was being open about his feelings, and then when she’s rejected him, he puts it back up. He’s ~putting up his wall again.

Mia then goes into the bathroom and has a mini-breakdown, as the song switches from the cover to the original. She’s teary, she’s wiping off her lipstick. Props again to Milena because she’s really selling this season. She looks for some toilet paper, but there’s only the cardboard for the roll. So she goes in her purse for something and comes up with the Post-It Alex left her about Hotel Hardenberg. Ahhhh, now that’s a nice little detail. I’m one of those people who just ... does not clean out her purse until she buys a new purse, lmao, so I can imagine Mia shoved it in there and forgot about it, without being very sentimental about it at the time. But I like that it came back at this crucial moment.

Mia grabs her coat and runs out of the club after him. When she catches up to him, they’re on opposite sides of a bridge, so we know what’s gonna happen. Someone’s gotta cross, or they have to meet in the middle.

She says it’s cold, he offers her a beanie, she comes forward and shows her own beanie, they both put on beanies at the same time. It’s a big beanie fest. What’s important that Mia crossed the bridge and closed the gap. The symbolism is obvious, but ... well, it’s there.

She says that she likes him, but doesn’t want to like him. He’s an egocentric prick, but then he was clever and funny and nice that one Friday, but then he disappears for a week and pulls that stunt copying his dick and plastering it around the school. Alex is like, who said that was my dick? Mia is like, well whose dick was it? Alex nods over her shoulder and we see Jonas stumbling around drunk as fuck. LMAO. Mia had Jonas’ dick pic in her backpack. She was going around thinking she got a glimpse of Alexander’s junk, showing it off to her roommate, and it was Jonas’ all along! And Hanna didn’t notice it was Jonas’ dick???

I mean, now I get why Alexander and Jonas bonded so quickly. They’re dick twins, if Kiki can mistake one for the other. I’m sure there’s some situation where that would come in handy (no pun intended?)

Are the two of you going to help out this completely drunk Jonas who’s by himself and who’s wandering into the street before he gets hit by a car or something...

Alex is like, do I look like someone who whips out his dick when he’s drunk? (I mean...) His penis needs to stay an enigma. Okay, goddammit, that’s funny. But Mia correctly points out that every other girl at school knows his penis, so it’s not an enigma.

When Alex is like, now what, Mia looks past him and says, “Fuck,” and when he turns back to her she’s kissing him. Damn, she’s so smooth. They dramatically kiss and he doinks his forehead against hers, it’s quite sweet. Then Alex goes off into the night, probably to find a few necks to drain. He rummages around in his coat for a moment, making quite a show, and of course it’s his middle finger he finds and flashes at Mia. Flipping each other off becoming their romantic couples’ gesture? I’m here for it.

He also does a little skip hop as he goes. Mia looks after him, smiling. Oh, Mia. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

So that shot during the end credits, of her looking outside at something, is not her in the first kiss scene! When will any of these moments happen?

Social Media/General Comments

The week long hiatus was explained in-universe as an “insta detox” among the girls. Matteo did not let that stop him from posting his regularly scheduled memes, though. #fuckinstadetox

Hanna texts Matteo about why Jonas and Alex are acting all buddy-buddy, which we see in the clips, too. Matteo says he doesn’t know. I thought it was meant to be a red herring and that Alex was probably not directly involved in the prank, but Jonas probably was, and maybe Jonas decided to bro it up with Alex since he liked his motto. Except then Alex turned out to have participated in the prank. I guess their friendship escalated when Jonas had his dick out on the copy machine.

But I like seeing a William have friendly interactions with other characters. That was something I thought was kind of lacking with him in Skam, that we didn’t get a ton of insight into his other friendships. He didn’t seem to care much about Noora’s friends, and he was close with P-Chris obviously, but there wasn’t a ton of detail there as to why or what their relationship was like outside of girl drama. I understand that not every character has to be extroverted and buddy-buddy with others, but it makes me think a lot more of Alex as a person when we see him forming bonds with people who he does not want to bone.

Matteo then texted Jonas about the thing between him and Alex, and Jonas jokes that he couldn’t resist Alex’s face. Matteo is jealous! But totally not really jealous, you know, JOKING jealous. Totally. And when Jonas teases him about it, he says there’s no reason to be, Matteo is the only little bitch in his life. I legit want to pass out. And I think Matteo did too, because he sent back a heart emoji. Six minutes later. What happened in those six minutes? Was Matteo just sitting there staring at his phone, wondering how the hell to respond to that? Getting butterflies and heart palpitations in his skinny stoner body?

There are pictures of the benefit with the girl squad sans Mia ... after she left to run after Alex, maybe? ~Foreshadowing?

I’m Mia right now. I was so annoyed with little things Alexander did in this episode, and I’m still pissed at some of his past behavior, and yet I am charmed by him despite it all. It’s heavily due to the performance. I can’t believe Alexander was one of my least favorite Williams across the remakes based on the first season, and he’s skyrocketing here just by virtue of having a personality.

I also can’t believe I had doubts about Mia in the first season. She has my whole heart now, fuckups and all.

Girl Sam and boy Sam were rapping together at benefit, according to IG. What if boy Sam replaced Kasper and made out with girl Sam in the finale, since it’s unlikely Manfred will fill that role (or at least I hope to God not)? I mean, if Kiki’s ultimately gonna be chill about Mia and Alexander, Hanna being chill about Sam and Sam wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

In an alternate universe, this season turned into the German remake of American Vandal from here on out and we spent the next five episodes trying to figure out who covered the school in dicks.

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me/clarify stuff!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions

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audio-luddite · 3 years ago

Text

What is more important?

If you embark on this crazy hobby what to do first? Which device is the most important?

Obviously it depends on from where you start. Some of those compact stereos sound really good. I bought one for my kids so they could have tunes and leave my system alone. You may have a receiver or even a boom box. Frankly the boom box should go. If you have a receiver it needs to be as powerful as you can get, or be ready to sell her on. You may have an integrated amp which is a receiver without a radio. But upgrading means buying two pieces to replace one.

The next step is deciding where you want to go. So imagine your ideal system. No brand names, just what components you want.

All good systems have separates. Amplifiers, preamplifiers, Speakers and of course a sound source. This means as you see deals, or want to upgrade you just swap out a piece. One at a time.

Sources are tricky if you are starting from zero. I know a guy who decided that streaming was the answer. A couple of subscriptions and on his way. He had a decent little receiver. He had some favorite speakers that were good and looked rather spacey. He had a computer with a Bluetooth dongle to feed the receiver. He got backed into a corner though.

He liked the sound until he heard better. He blew his speakers because his receiver was small and clipped. Very hard to impossible to fix those speakers. So he went shopping. He has several surround receivers now as they are pretty big and cheap and he wants to pick the best one. He also has several sets of good speakers, but really wants the spacey ones fixed. He is kinda stuck and not willing to go to separates.

I of course have CDs and LPs. Either can be a real rabbit hole. Heck even streaming is a rabbit hole. There is stupid expensive stuff for all that.

Put aside the source for the moment. What is the most important part to go high end with? I say it is the preamp. It has the most effect on the sound. Get one as good as you can. You will hear differences even through lower echelon amps and speakers. The preamp does the most to the signal. If you have LPs the phono stage is essential and should be in the main preamp. I dislike all those wall wart little side things.

What is next? Speakers for sure. There is crap. There is brilliant stuff. The parameters are almost endless. Do you have a house, or an apartment? How big is your room. Married? There are speakers that are better to look at that listen to. I mean really pretty stuff.

This is almost the hardest thing to choose. Old stuff almost certainly needs repair, can parts be found? I have a soft spot for Magnepans. They look like room dividers. So cool. Hard to place properly but so cool. Oh and they can sound very nice, and they can be repaired at the factory if necessary. BUT I wont buy them. Too hard to place definitely man cave stuff.

i advise you to avoid surround sound based sets. I prefer speakers that do not require subwoofers.

As noted many times I build mine. They are great. No really they are.

Ironically you will get ok sound from less than excellent speakers provided you have a good amplifier.

What is next? Amplifier is almost the easiest thing. There is so much choice. I advise solid state. Tube amps are expensive to get and to feed glass. For less money you get more power and less likely to blow your speakers. (ironic but true). Today there is a wonderful selection of excellent amplifiers for under $1000, and a good set under $400.

OK now to the source. There are not that many CD players for reasonable money as CDs are obsolete. Our local vintage audio shop has 4. CAM has lots but kinda crazy money for most as they are all high end. I advise you to get a dedicated CD player. I have a nice DVD recorder that plays CDs, but it sounds terrible. There are still new ones out there. Yamaha has one that is "reasonable."

LPs are my thing. You do not need a $2000 turntable. There are many under $500 on CAM and the local Craigslist that are fine. You can buy new for OK bucks. They are not bad. Please avoid USB units. A very good phono cartridge may be had for $200 bucks and excellent ones for $320. Properly set up they will get most stuff off the record. Oh and get a cork mat for it.

Welcome to the rabbit hole.

Alice had an interesting time.

#audiophile #audio hobby #audioblr #cheap audiophile

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bubblemoon66 · 6 years ago

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Val for the headcanon ask?

Realistic Headcanon: When Kenspeckle was alive he used to give Valkyrie care packages after some of her visits. Most of it was practical stuff: painkillers, healing balms, heat pads, etc. But sometimes he’d put sorcerer-made skincare/beauty products in there too. Stuff like acne cream that makes acne disappear instantly and bubble bath that makes you float… He kind of had to hide them under all the practical stuff and only put them in sparingly because he knew she’d kick up a fuss if she thought anyone was mollycoddling her. But he was determined to add some normalcy and care into her life. Because she was just a young girl when he knew her and she deserved to be treated as such.

Hilarious Headcanon: Okay, so… Valkyrie breaks a lot of phones once she becomes a detective. Skulduggery keeps replacing them and she convinces him to upgrade her to the newest model every time it happens. He doesn’t have a problem with it because broken phones come with the job, he can charge it as a work expense, and he’s doing the same thing himself. But her parents (mostly Melissa, tbh) notice that she has a different phone every couple of months…. and to make it even more confusing the reflection has a phone, which stays mostly consistent because she’s not in nearly as many dangerous situations. It confuses the hell out of everyone. And Valkyrie keeps coming up with wild excuses on thy fly to try and it explain it (E.G. M: You found your old phone? / V: Oh yeah, it was hidden under the fridge again. Must have kicked it there by accident. Weird how that keeps happening. / M: What about your new one? What are you doing to do with that? / D: Can I have it? I need an upgrade. / V: Uh, no. That one was eaten by Hannah Foley’s dog. Sorry, dad. / M: Doesn’t have one of those little Chinese crested dogs? / V: Yes, and they’re well known for eating phones. Utterly vicious around electronics…). Anyway, Valkyrie’s parents brush it off for a while because she does get 50% of her DNA from Desmond and these are the kind of ridiculous things that happen to him. But it’s one of those things that niggles at Melissa for a long time, she’s sure something’s going on but she has no idea what. And then Desmond jokes that maybe she’s Walter White, and Melissa can’t help but that her daughter being involved in a drug ring would explain an awful lot…

Heart-Crushing Headcanon: So this one is heavily inspired by this headcanon by @gingerisaspice: While Skulduggery is the Faceless One’s dimension, Valkyrie continues to send him texts and leaves the occasional voicemail on his phone. She knows the chances of him receiving them are next to zero, but it helps her manage her feelings and imagining what he’d text her back also helps her figure out how to find the murder skull. And sometimes when she’s in a really bad place, maybe just having woke up from a nightmare, she’ll call his voicemail just to hear his voice. She doesn’t leave voicemails these times, listening to his voice is just a self-indulgent comfort. Anyway, Skulduggery comes back home and finds a backup phone or gets a new one as soon as he can (his old one was completely destroyed in the FOD). He transfers his old number over, it takes a couple of days because it always does but it works. The text messages never come through. But the voicemails do. He doesn’t listen to them right away. He’s too busy with the Revenger’s Club and the Sanctuary exploding to think about checking his voicemail. But eventually, he misses a call and checks his inbox. And there are about half-a-dozen messages from Valkyrie. They aren’t heartfelt confessions or anything like that, but they are emotionally charged. There’s some awkwardness (especially with the first one) and a lot of frustration, some grief, fear, anger… There are brief messages of reassurance (he’s not sure if they’re meant more from him or her): We’re going to find you. It won’t be long until you’re back. I miss you. But the majority of it is her problem solving despite the feelings. It’s a good insight into the way her mind works. And it makes him realise that she’s a detective in her own right now. He saves all of the messages. He doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even realise they went through. They sit there in his saved folder for a few years, ignored until Darquesse takes over. Then he replays them all. It’s a self-indulgent comfort.

Unrealistic Headcanon: After Valkyrie starts using her aura vision a bit more, she starts getting a better idea of how magic (in general) works. Eventually, she learns she can mimic other people’s magic if she watches them use it often enough. So she starts to pick up bits and pieces of magic from different people, and not just sorcerers, other magical-folk too. She can’t pick up everything; she never learns teleportation for instance. But she turns out to be rather good at creating illusions and empathetic bonds. Elemental magic turns out to be one of the hardest types of magic she learns to mimic, just because she already has such a strong idea of how it should work, and mimicking isn’t the same as just doing it. It’s a completely different technique and she has to unlearn what she knows first. But she’s thrilled when she finally manages to create a flame, it’s almost as good a feeling as the first time she did it.

I also have this idea (which might become a fic), that she can kind of let her body dissolve into pure magic. It gives her a lot of power and it’s addictively pleasurable, but the longer she uses it the harder it becomes to get back into a physical form. If she uses it long enough she starts losing other bits too, her willpower, her sense of self, her humanity basically. It’s not like being Darquesse, exactly. But it’s heady and just so tempting to become this pure form of energy.

#sorry that heartcrushing one was not supposed to be that long or that skulduggery focused but once i started i couldn't stop #actually most of these aren't as val focused as i originally intended... oops...#///#skulduggery pleasant #possessed-by-a-remnant #headcanons #answered ask meme #long post #sp ramble

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finerafin · 7 years ago

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RVB OFFICE AU? HIGH SCHOOL/TEACHERS AU? RIVALING COFFESHOP AU? C:

Oh boy. I have never thought of one of these AU’s, buuuuut, well …

(This got really long, so I’ve put it under a cut)

Office AU: They all work for Church Inc. in two different departments. Sarge is the manager of Red Department and Church (the junior one) is the manager of Blue department.Grif and Simmons started their training together and are still in the same department years later. (Simmons has declined several promotion offers to stay whith Grif, which his father, an executive director at the same company, isn’t happy about. Grif doesn’t know about both, though). They also have moved in together, but they are not in a relationship, godamnit, Tucker, stop spreading rumours. Tucker’s boyfriend Wash, an ex-military, sometimes stops by with Junior.Donut and Caboose are interns and Caboose keeps bringing his dog Freckles, a really big Rottweiler. Nobody dares to stop him after the incident with Church.Carolina and Kimball are responsible for the trainees and they love to mess with the others, so they keep sending trainees to them. Jensen has caused multiple power outages, Bitters keeps stealing Grif’s Oreos, Matthews tries to impress them, Andersmith and Caboose get along too well and Palomo has tried flirting with about every woman in the office. Doyle’s only job is to file the complaints about the trainees.Church hates that he has to put up with all the idiots. It gets worse as his girlfriend Tex shows up one day because she soon gets a hang on watching him trying to prevent chaos.Sheila (officially F.I.L.L.I.S., but nobody calls her that) is their company-intern computer system which may have developed a will on its own.The first time Doc, medic at the hospital just across the street, visits his boyfriend Donut at his workplace is also the first time Sarge gets a visit from his girlfriend, Dr. Grey, a doctor at the hospital just across the office building, was also the day Church tried to drag Freckles outside because you can’t bring your dog, Caboose! and got bit in the arm. He needed to stay in the hospital for a few days and the Reds and Blues made him a get well soon card. Church would never admit it, but he actually liked that they cared so much about him.

Bonus: Felix and Locus are shareholders and also at the Board of Directors, but actually they are spying for Hargrove Inc.The rest of the freelancers are former employees/shareholders of Church Inc. who left for reasons I haven’t figured out yet. Maybe the company got into some illegal stuff they uncovered or something? Or maybe they still are shareholders and the Reds and Blues will uncover this.

High School/Teachers AU: Blood Gulch High is a small school in a suburb of a big city and if you’ve got the money, you send your children to the better school farther away. Dr. Grey is the school psychologist and Doc is the school’s medic (he’s still a student, but he knows more about that stuff than the rest of the school except for Dr. Grey, which is still not much) even if they only have to share a small adapted storage room as office/sickroom/ect.Sarge has started as janitor and still is the janitor, but he has taken over physics lessons and chemistry lessons and maths lessons and history lessons and has somehow managed to build an robot between all of that.Wyoming is the English teacher and the reason why half of the school uses British words.Florida teaches cooking class and gym class.Dr. Grey sometimes teaches a combination of psychology and health class, but most of the time she is caught up in her studies and forgets about it. Doc has tried to take over once. It didn’t end well.The school also has no principal. The old one retired and somehow the Ministry of Education has never noticed and replaced him. BGH runs on donations from the local big company (Church Inc.) and improvisation. Most of the parents don’t know though, and if they do they either don’t care or send their children to another school as soon as possible.There are also only two classes: the Older ones and the Younger ones. (There are too few students for proper classes and as they can do what they want they just threw them together.)The rest of the Freelancers and Mercs are all in the Older Class and the Reds and Blues and people from chorus are in the Younger Class.(There are no real pairings here except for Florida/Wyoming and Sarge/Grey, because they are all too young.)

Rivalling Coffee Shop AU: So, there’s this one Coffee shop and it’s called Wake Up Coffee. It’s owned by this weird older man named Sarge and his only employees are Grif, Simmons, Donut and Lopez, who only speaks Spanish for some reason, and they live in the apartment directly over the coffee shop with Donut’s boyfriend Doc. They are all studying in town so Sarge lets them live there for free and pays their full wage. Grif and Simmons are in a relationship, too, and they think nobody noticed, but in fact, everyone knows. They are just not subtle.Church, who lives across the coffee shop used to go to Wake Up Coffee until that one disastrous day he walks in, wearing his favourite cobalt blue shirt to get his first coffee of the day, still half asleep.He only remembers Sarge yelling something about Blue traitor and then he got fucking banned from the coffee shop for no fucking reason.He rants about this to Tex who doesn’t even pity him, snorts: “Well, then open your own.” and just leaves for work.So Church, still half asleep and on caffeine deprivation, decides that this is a very good idea. He calls his friend Tucker and his best friend Caboose and they get right started. Wash supports their idea enthusiastically.Church borrows the money they need from his sister Carolina and they rent the little empty shop that’s conveniently right under Church’s apartment and buy all the equipment and furnishing on that afternoon. Donut might have helped them with the interior design.They meet again the next morning after Tex has left for work to find a name (which proves to be the hardest). Tucker suggests Tea’se me or Steaming Hotties, Wash googles, reads out 100+ names and then says Bean there, Drank that, the first one he read out, was the best, Church just wants to find a name that isn’t a bad pun and Caboose spends the time drawing a logo which turns out really good.They end up calling it F’Coffee.The next day their equipment arrives and they spend the rest of the day furnishing their coffee shop. As Tex comes back in the evening they are nearly finished and Church proudly shows her the coffee shop. She looks around somehow surprised, closely inspects the very expensive coffee machine and Church tells her that they want to open the next day.And she just nods and smiles and takes another look around, turns back to Church and asks: “Where are the mugs?”

@bluevsblue I hope you like it! These are not really shippy, but I came up with these AU’s out of the blue and spent half an hour looking up how a corporation is structured and another 30 minutes I tried to find names for the coffee shops.

#rvb #rvb office AU #rvb school AU #rvb coffee shop AU #I really want to write the last one #but I don't have the motivation for a longer fic #ask

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kelmcdonald · 7 years ago

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A Year in Review 2017

New Post has been published on http://sorcery101.net/news/a-year-in-review-2017/

A Year in Review 2017

Hi everyone,

So it’s the end of the year. I have been looking back over the year to make my goals for next year. Last year I posted my goals on Patreon for the highest backer level. It’s a level that no one ever backed at. I don’t know if the price was too high or just general lack of interest. But I liked writing those posts so as long as I have time, I think I’ll start posted some edited versions of them free on my site each month. Before I started doing that I thought I’d post a public behind the scenes wrap up.

2017 was rough and exhausting. That’s true for a lot of people.

I tried to stick to my professional and personal goals anyway. I also tried a few experiments to see how things would work out.

Last year, I had a few business/income related goals. I wanted to focus on building my Patreon, my newsletter, and my store. I wanted to get rid of ads and do less cons. Ads are ugly and hard to track down bad ones. Cons I want to do less of because they are exhausting to me. I don’t think I’ve ever got creative burn out but I definitely get hussle/promo burn out. It’s been taking me longer and longer to recover from cons. So anywhere that I can get money which isn’t from cons if great.

A lot of my site redesign was to push those things.

My newletter is I think the most successful of those goals. I got a good few hundred folks signing up from my website and a bunch of folks signing up after my kickstarter. Next year I’m gonna try to focus on making it better. I few people asked for highlights from the blog here as well as promo. But I’m still taking suggestions if anyone wants to leave them in the comic. Right now it’s just promo but if I don’t have promo that month I end up not knowing what to write.

The shop getting pushed more, I think it did better than last year but I haven’t crunched the numbers yet.

Patreon didn’t go very well this year. I wanted to get more patrons there to mostly get rid of ads. I ended up making less money on patreon than before. I used to charge weekly and thought switching to monthly would help get more people on board, but I never ended up attracting enough people to make up for the difference. I tired a few different things like business posts like this one, sketch requests, and streams. At first I was posting my early comics in a big PDF but then was told more frequent posts get peoples attention more. I also tried to post more art on there. None of those really enticed people to jump on. I don’t know if people just don’t like my stuff. If I’m just not cut out for promoting a long term thing rather just doing a focused push for one big project. Either way I’m feeling pretty discouraged and after last weeks debacle with the fee change is leaving me kinda sour on Patreon. In 2018 I’m gonna try to focus on other stuff that might pay off more.

I was looking for more work from publishers and companies in 2017 too. Or more working smarter not harder with companies. That didn’t pay off in 2017 but it get me some cool stuff lined up for 2018.

But for now it looks like I’m gonna still be hitting up 10 or more cons a year.

On the somewhat creative goal and somewhat personal, I spent a lot of of this year making sure I kept up with my comic reading. It can be easy to not keep up with reading new comics and know what is out there when you are busy trying to make comics. I buy most of my comics at conventions but I got an ipad pro to be a portable digital drawing tool so I’ve been reading a lot of manga on that. But here’s some high stuff I really enjoyed and will probably write about on my blog over the coarse of next year. I read them this year but they didn’t all come out this year. The webcomics I’m just gonna link cause they are free to read but I usually just read the print collections when it comes to webcomics. So when I say I read them this year I mean the print collection.

Wilde Life by Pascalle Lepas

Agents of the Realm by Mildred Louis

The Meek by Der-shing Helmer

Feywinds by Nicole Chartrand

Check Please by Ngozi Ukazu

O Human Star by Blue Delliquanti

A Silent Voice by Yoshitoki Ōima which is about a guy trying to get forgiveness from the deaf girl he bullied in elementary school. It’s very intense and grips with complicated questions about who gets forgiven and who decides who gets that forgiveness.

Monstress by Marijorie liu and Sana Takeda. It’s a fantasy epic that is set in a matriarchal setting where magical humanoid creatures and sorceresses are at war. The main character is trying to learn more about an elder god type thing that has taken over her arm. It’s gorgeous and complicated and female focused. This might be my favorite comic right now.

Fun Family by Ben Frisch. I picked this up because I went to college which Ben. Fun Family is a fictional behind the scenes of Family Circus. It kinda odd but I liked it because it explores how a simple wholesome comic like Family Circus can be comforting when your home life is falling apart.

Dragon Ball by Akira Toriyama. I don’t got to tell you all what Dragon Ball is about. But I read it for the first time and really liked it. I had only seen the anime before this. It was interesting to see the source material. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Parasyte by Hitoshi Iwaki. Most anime fans know about this one too but again I read it this year. For you none anime fans alien parasites take over human hosts and replace their heads. The main character gets his hand taken over instead and he has to work with the parasite to hide from both humans and parasites. It’s an interesting mix of body horror and exploring morality.

My Hero Academia by Kohei Horikoshi. It’s about a superhero school in world where more people have superpowers and being a superhero is partly being a celebrity and partly a government job.

Space Battle Lunch Time by Natalie Riess. It’s about a cooking reality tv show in space. I was a lot of fun and very cute. It does a good job of having multiple rounds of cooking contests without getting repetitive. The main character is super charming.

Moonlighters by Katie Schenkel and Cal Moray. An all ages comic about werewolves doing magical odd jobs on their college campus.

Soupy Leave Home by Cecil Castellucci and Jose Pimenta. I picked this up because I introduced Cecil and Jose to each other. Their book is really good. It’s about a girl who disguises herself as a boy so she can run away to ride the rails as a hobo during the great depression. It’s bitter sweet and does an excellent job showing the relationship build between Soupy and her mentor on the rails.

I also liked Castoffs by MK Reed, Brain Smith, and Molly Ostertag and Letters for Lucardo by Noora Heikkilä but those both are only at volume 1 and I feel like the stuff that I’ll really want to talk about will probably happen in volume 2. My reading list is organized shortest to longest and so some have been on there for awhile. For 2018 far it’s:

As the Crow Flies by Melanie Gilman

Not Drunk Enough by Tess Stone

The Fifth Beatle by Vivek Tiwary, Kyle Baker, and Andrew C. Robinson

Vattu vol 2 by Evan Dahm

The Last Halloween by Abby Howard

East of West year 2 by Jonathan Hichman and Nick Dragotta

Drive by Dave Kellet

The Less than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal by EK Weaver

I Am Hero by Shinsuke Sato

If you all got recommendations I’m open to em. I think it’s important to read comic if you want to improve. So while I am gearing up for my next big project I wanted to make sure knew what was out there. I have been writing about them on Patreon but I’m gonna start posting them publicly. Writing about the stuff I like is just to help me articulate what I’m looking for in stories and be more deliberate in the future. I’m intentionally not reading Marvel and DC though. So if you suggest stuff from them I’ll probably pass.

And then here are more general personal goals and experiments.

I got really unhealthy while working on Misfits of Avalon because juggling two comics isn’t super smart when when has a hard deadline. There were a few months while working on it where I basically drank ALL THE REDBULL to finish on time. I also gained 20 lbs while working on it. So a lot of 2017 was me trying to undo the damage caused by overworking.

I don’t pay a lot of attention to my weight and mostly noticed because I got faced with the choice of lose weight or buy new clothes. Excising takes more work but is cheaper. So I started biking 3 times a week and used the biking version of couch to 5k to improve. I mostly stuck with it because MK Reed was my biking buddy. We fell off a few times when con season got hectic. Then because of con season I tried to think of something that is easier to do while away. So in October after all my cons were done I gave jogging a try. I wanted to die and my throat was closing up. I couldn’t finish even half of what couch to 5k tells you to do the first day. I thought maybe I’d improve. But after no improvement for a month I went to the doctor. Turns out my lungs are all fucked up and I just didn’t know it because that was how I always breathed. Doctor gave me an inhaler which helped with running so now I can completely the first day of the program, but my none running breathing is still not as good as it should be. So I just got a different inhaler that is supposed to help with that. Otherwise I might have some expensive medical tests coming up. So fingers crossed that everything is fine.

I also tried to do some push ups at the beginning of the year. I started by doing them off my counter and then moved lower to the arm rest of my couch. But I was apparently doing them wrong so I never successfully got to doing push ups off the floor. Building muscle strength might be something I need more help with than cardio.

And while running sucks honestly the hardest thing to do was fix how bad my caffeine addiction got. I mentioned above that I drank a lot of Redbull when Misfit of Avalon deadlines got tight. Well, when I went to C2E2 last year, the time it took me to wake up, go to the airport, fly to Chicago, and get to where I was staying gave me a withdrawal headache. So less than 24 hours. I still had 2-3 months of work to do on Misfits but I made a self note that this is a problem I needed to deal with once finished. So I turned in my pages that June. Then I quit caffeine cold turkey because I’m very bad at cutting back on things. It was a miserable two weeks. But by the time SDCC rolled around I could get through a con day with only one cup (as opposed to like 6 cups).

So for health stuff in 2018, I’m gonna try to keep up the jogging and biking. Figure out what is up with my lungs. And try to get help on the upper body strength that I am lacking.

#business stuff

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cantolopejeevas · 8 years ago

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For the ask meme: Fragrance for Anthea and Mortar. Poison for Lucas. Parachute for Avery and Daniyal. Hobby for all of them (or whoever you choose if that's too much!!!) and compass and lightning~ I'm sorry there's so many I gotta know!!!

Hehehe, this is quite a bit, but I had fun answering all of these! Thank you for sending this in, darling~

Fragrance: What do your OCs smell like? (Anthea and Mortar)

Anthea smells like the forest- like a combination of wood and grass. In her snek form, though, she low-key smells like cement, but you’d have to get really, really close to be able to tell that.

Mortar smells like whatever expensive bullshit cologne he’s wearing at the time, haha. It’s not too strong, thankfully. But he also sometimes smells like blood and gore, thanks to his business. That’s partially why he wears cologne in the first place.

Poison: Vices/bad habits? What are they? How do they affect your OC? (Lucas)

His biggest bad habit (in his mind) would probably be taking naps all the time. I mean, he’s Actual Satan, so he’s got all the time in the world, but he does complain about all the stuff he doesn’t get to do because he’s too busy snoozing. Just. Get up and do the things, you lazy prick.

He also likes to damn people to hell for all eternity by making them shitty deals with tons of loopholes for him to use (because “mortals are dumb”). He doesn’t even need that many souls, they’re just like trophies to him. But it’s one of the few things he’ll forgo napping for, so there’s that.

Parachute: Who does your OC(s) trust the most? Who makes them feel safe? Who would they do absolutely anything for? (Avery and Daniyal)

Well... Avery unfortunately trusts Lucas the most. Mostly because he’s their best (and kinda only) friend. He makes them feel safe, mostly because he’s contractually obligated to do that. They probably wouldn’t do absolutely anything for him, but there’s very little they wouldn’t do.

Daniyal probably trusts his beloved GF Andy (I’mma just link to your blog right here so people can find them~) the most, out of everyone he knows. It was Daniel before then, but he was easy to replace because he’s a prick that’ll let Daniyal believe whatever about scary technology for his own amusement. But Daniyal probably feels more safe with Daniel because he’s still low-key terrified of robots, although he’s trying his best to overcome that. In the end, though, he’ll do anything for both of them (for all his friends, really) if the situation is dire enough.

Hobby: What do they love? What captivates them? What are their passions? (Everyone!!!)

Shian loves appreciating art and music. She’s definitely the type of person to go out in a fancy dress and drink wine all while looking at paintings and sculptures. And she’ll buy whatever pieces she really likes~ Also she uses her royal status to help out struggling artists.

Anthea’s pretty simple- she just loves taking care of her little snake friends and making wood carvings of them! Both are a bit difficult due to the whole blindfold thing, but she tries her hardest, and she succeeds pretty well!

Mortar loves frivolous, expensive bullshit- especially if it’s a gift. He’ll decorate his whole house with everything he gets, because he wants to show off his wealth. But he also has a hidden collection of handmade wooden toys and knick-knacks that he’s a huge sucker for.

Lucas likes to watch trashy reality shows while snoozing. He says it’s just so he can catch up on mortal culture, but he’s way more invested than that. He has a checklist of all the people he knows are going to Hell, and which would make for great potential deals.

Avery is a major history buff. They like learning about the past, and if in the right mindset will spout on and on about whatever historical thing they want to talk about. Also, they’re a memelord, and totally spend half their time on Tumblr,

Shiloh loves SCIENCE and teaching others about all its wonders. He keeps tabs on all the biggest breakthroughs and advancements in technology- and goes out to try new gadgets as soon as possible. Also, experiments are always fun, even if they’re just little useless ones that serve no purpose.

Daniel’s biggest hobby is playing videogames. But that’s already well-known, so let’s talk about his passion for tea. He’s pretty much addicted to it, and very few things can calm him down more than a steaming fresh cup of it. I’m also pretty sure he’s subscribed to a “Tea of the Month” thing.

Daniyal is a farmboy through and through. He likes keeping gardens and harvesting fresh veggies that he can cook into delicious meals. He knows the tricks for growing the best corn and tomatoes, even if his logic/reasoning for it’s a little off.

Aurel likes doing things that remind of him of “the good old days”. Ballroom dancing, going to opera houses. If your grandparents are into it, he’s probably into it too (even if he’s older than them). And classic Victorian era literature is his jam.

Hadrian’s a fiesty bunny boi that likes adventure. He gets captivated by stories of brave knights defeating dragons and rescuing damsels in distress, and he wants to do all those things one day. One might even catch him playing pretend when he’s all alone.

Solace doesn’t have much in the way of hobbies. She likes to visit graveyards and talk to the dead people there, or visit dying patients in hospitals to soothe them a bit as they pass on. Of course, there’s also her darkest passion, which is low-key hypnotizing loved ones into killing each other. But she has good intentions, at least???

Compass: Who's the moral compass? In general: what are your OCs' morality like? Do they have high morals, or not? Are their morals self imposed, or do they base their morals on religion/family/influence of others?

I feel like the "moral compass” out of all my OCs would be one of my three Soft Babs, as I like to call them: Daniyal, Anthea, or Avery. All three of them have such big hearts and they care so much about others, that they can’t even begin to think of doing anything immoral.

All of my OCs have some morals to a point, even Lucas and Mortar- who are both the lowest morality-wise. Lucas won’t break promises/contracts, and Mortar won’t harvest organs from certain kinds of people (children/the particularly innocent).

For the most part my OCs develop their morals from personal experiences, and not much from outside influence like family or religion. I feel like it’s more organic and true to them that way? I don’t know, haha.

Lightning: Who's the most impulsive character? And who is their impulse control?

Hmmmm, this is a tough one. Anthea’s pretty impulsive ‘cause she’s not much of a thinker. She’ll just try to make friends with everyone, and usually Shian has to be like, “Bad idea.”

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s3venpounds · 8 years ago

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1-104

YA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNT love you tho because its always fun to do these asks even though everyone who reads will probs forget all these details in like the span of a week.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

wanna go again?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

nothing anymore

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on what drugs, the severity of the side effects, the cost of said drugs, and how addicted they are to it. like if its weed sure go ahead long as it isn’t around me not a big fan of the smell. crystal meth however i would probably be turned off or just attempt to get them off it. over the counter drugs though is fine too.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yep

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. horribly messed up. still think about it tbh

7. What does your last received text say? “ well i think you can just wax with whatever length but it wont be able to cling to your hair well”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? lost count too busy being happy at the time

9. Where was your last kiss at? a bus stop

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? yesterday

11. What do you drink in the morning? nothing. i dont wake up in the morning

12. Where did you sleep last night? my couch because its fucking comfier than my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? most def. wouldn’t have it any other way though.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yeah, the fact we haven’t talked in months, and because i’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me lol

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy, free shower

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? dont got a middle name so i guess yes?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? boxing shorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ahahaha no.

20. Does anyone like you? trust me, if i knew i would do something about it

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? its rude to say but i don’t remember but from what i do remember its a no

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? not gay specifically at least from what i’ve been told by said person

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 3 people specifically. not gonna name them

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? multiple times, talked to tattoo artists, people who had multiple tattoos, people who are first timers so yeah i want one maybe 5

25. In the past week have you cried? yeah anime hurts the feels bro

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?does pictures on tumblr count? if yes, a shiba inu, if no, golden retriever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower, i feel like im gonna slip and fall if i stay in there too long

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? yeah he doesn’t use lip balm often so it was kinda rough

29. Do you think you’re old? yeah

30. Do you like text messaging? most def. i like texting more than talking since i can think about my words and play it off as just “ yeah i was busy” also i find myself a better conversationalist on texts than in person

31. What type of day are you having? a shitty one but i showered so im feeling refreshed at least

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, i have thought about getting spider bites on my lower lip but i dont think i can pull it off

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold weather, i hate bugs and indoor volleyball is nice

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? a relationship. flings hurt afterwards and to me theres no feelings behind it so youre left feeling empty

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? i wanna say simple but everyone knows everyones complicated. if someones simple that just means theyre not letting off everything at the get go

37. What song are you listening to? lie to me george nozuka

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? of course i do. does it mean i wont make the same mistake? nope. it just means i’ll take steps to preventing it from happening again. if it happens again then ill keep trying. all you can do when you fuck up is to just keep trying to prevent it from happening again. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? i’d like to think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?vibrant personality that draws you in. playful demeanor. likes geeky things like i do. has deep thoughts that make me want to ponder existence with them. likes physical intimacy. and the first thought when i saw her was that i wanted to protect her, care for her, and guide her in life if ever she needs help. 41. When did you last receive a text message? 8:43 am monday42. What is wrong with you right now? im not independent? i rely on friends and other stuff to grant me happiness when really the only source of happiness i can rely on if to draw it from myself. friends help but they can’t be the only source. i have trouble moving on from past issues, constantly weighed down by past decisions and mistakes when i should have passed it a long time ago.43. How well do you know the last female you texted? not very well however she knows me very well since i vent to her lol44. Does anyone disgust you? yeah the same 3 people i mentioned that i cannot stand.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? most likely yeah46. Are you in a good mood right now? nope. neutral if anything47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?me mother before she left for a bus shuttle to fort mac48. What color shirt are you wearing? nude. no plans today, or guests so that means no pants, no shirt and occasionally if im feeling happy enough, no underwear either49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not recently. i have a feeling that i’ve given off the vibe to all my friends that they have to tip toe around me about a lot of topics else they’ll make me sad. i’d rather a splash of cold water in the face than some shitty lie50. Anyone you’re giving up on? myself mostly.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? i never hate the people i used to date. i hate the decisions i made that lead to breaking up. i tend to think things are never someone else’s fault but more of mine. even if by some weird chance it wasn’t i would twist it so it was my fault. its just easier for everyone that way if people have a scapegoat.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yeah.53. Do you like rain? i love it. sometimes on rare occasions i can almost feel the shitty person inside me just kinda slide off my skin and drip off the tips of my fingers and i feel … complete? is the best way i can put it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope. party all you like, im just not too keen on drinking very often or partying very often. although when i do party ill party hard.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? who hasnt?56. Do you like to cuddle? love it. spooning, arm on shoulder, hugging from behind, them sitting on your lap, them holding you from behind. my skin feels electric when the person i love has their skin against mine.57. Are you shy? i’d like to say im not58. Do you get along with girls? i’d like to say i do59. Have you dated the person you texted last? not going to lie hahah i considered it at some point60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet , keys.61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yeah most likely. the economy sucks bro.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yeah assuming i dont fuck up lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope. sadly.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? DAMN STRAIGHT. shit would be like a good luck charm65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? my niece tried to say duck and instead said fuck

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? probably going to get some questionable looks from this but 16, 24, 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? pay for a pro, i am NOT an artistic person. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? zebra. black and white. leopard print makes me think a white 40 something year old with plastic surgery, hair thats half a meter tall and nails that are longer than most men’s penises talking with a southern belle accent that tries to hit on pool boys69. Do you have any stickers on your car? none70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? i hate country and im not a fan of lil wayne anymore so i guess lil wayne if i absolutely have to.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? couple days ago?73. Do you like diet soda? hate it. feels fake to me74. What color are the walls in your room? boring beige75. Are you 16 or older? yes.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? heard of it, seen gifs, dont plan on watching it77. Do you have a job? as of now yeah. 78. What are your initials? SM79. Did you ever have braces? nope. i had retainers but i kept breaking them so my parents were like okay thats enough, its too expensive to replace them lol80. Are you from the south? im about as north as you can get without living in igloos

81. What does your last status on facebook say? “day barely started and 4 things putting me in a shitty mood. looks liek today is gonna be loooooooooong”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? i wish.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? mother. although im not on good terms with either of them. my mother just has more patience to deal with me84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i did pom squad which was a pretty shitty version of cheerleading i guess. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? beauty and the beast i thoroughly enjoyed it =] 86. Do you smoke? weed or cigarettes? either one ive stopped both. not worth it, plus i dislike smelling gross.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? i’ve worn heels before but not for a prolonged period of time but they felt nice so i’d say hells. flip flops keep making annoying sounds and it makes me grind my teeth thinking about it88. Is your phone touch screen? yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? straight. i’d love it to be a bit curly. i even permed my hair last year apparently it looked good says some friends of mine.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? i snuck out last night lol. the family gave up on stopping me.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool. rivers and lakes have the possibility of germs, leeches or other shit. its a hassle to have to take extra precautions92. Have you ever made out in a car? yep.93. …Had sex in a car? almost.94. Are you single or in a relationship? single. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? playing overwatch with my friend reo.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? AW COME THE FUCK ON. the last relationship questions weren’t enough to jab a knife in my chest but this too? fuck. whatever. it was at capital ex or k- days whatever the fuck you wanna call it. i had fun. the fireworks wasn’t the only thing that sparked. fuck. instant bad mood.97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its really good. i can take pictures of my friends and even see the condition of their pores and shit its pretty nice. 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? nope. i’d like to try it though99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? not yet.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? yeah. i should really just delete my facebook. 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? nope. 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Die young103. Do you have any tan lines right now? nope.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? sure why not. i’d probs wear assless chaps too if i had a nice ass

#ask me more shiiit yallllll #this was fun #but im still salty about that one question about fireworks #ask se7enpounds

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