#rvb coffee shop AU

[rubykgrant]

You know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?

RVB Coffee Shop AU~

(but it's them, so it's WEIRD)

The Red Bean; a shop that specializes in coffee AND chili. The building is styled with a lot of desert and western themes (the whole vibe being "cowboys drinking coffee and eating chili out on the trail). They also serve a lot of "hearty" meals (bacon, fried potatoes, etc). Sarge is the founder and claims to have a "secret ingredient" that makes his coffee fresher and stronger than anything else (so, yeah; he's Mr Krabs). He's the main cook, with Simmons as his assistant (Simmons INSISTS this makes him junior manager. it does not. he's very proud about getting Employee of the Month, though!)

Grif; he would be a very good cook, but he is not to be trusted around the food (he wouldn't eat stuff for the customers, but he just sneaks little snacks all day if given the chance). Instead, he takes the drive-through orders and answers the phone. He also has close-up cleaning duty with Simmons (cleaning sucks, but the two of them have a routine where they can take their time and talk, so it's not so bad together)

Donut; greets customers inside and is the front barista (he keeps trying to come up with fun names for the different brews, but Sarge rejects them). He convinced Sarge they should sell candy too, but it has to SPECIFICALLY be Boston baked beans and various red jelly beans. He accidentally washed his red uniform with a bleach load, and it came out... lightish-red

Lopez; handles the money, and works on general repairs around the business. For special events, he rigged up a food truck so they can sell at other locations. Sarge also wanted to have "delivery jeeps" so they can do big catering orders. Nobody knows why it had to be jeeps, but Lopez made it work. Somehow

Doc; a health inspector who also checks for safety regulations. The Reds are very... chaotic in some regards, and rather strict in others. He'd rather see a place stay open and improve than simply close it, so he gets very involved with trying to help update things (at one point, the Reds thought he was getting mean phone calls from his boss, O'Malley. it turns out O'Malley is NOT his boss. O'Malley is kind of him, but also not, he just isn't always sure how to explain it to people... but now that they know, they can be introduced to O'Malley properly! he proceeds to mock them for their weird coffee-chili gimmick)

Blue Cup Coffee; originally managed by Flowers, who mysteriously went missing shortly after hiring two new employees, who had absolutely no training. Church decided to just give himself a promotion, and now he's the boss (he regrets this, now everything is his fault). He and Tucker made the mistake of enjoying free coffee a little TOO much, didn't sleep for 2 days, and started hallucinating. Church thought he died and turned into a ghost. They decided to NEVER do that again, and the whole incident kinda forced Church into actually thinking like a Responsible Adult (ew). Blue Cup focuses more of sweet and unique treats (iced coffee, milkshakes, lots of pastries and bakery goodies). Church and Tucker still enjoy these very often

Tucker; general clean-up duty and back barista. He wanted to be the one who takes orders up front or in the drive-through, but he kept flirting every time there was a girl (Church handles the front orders. he hates it). One night when he was closing, somebody broke in and tried to rob the place. Tucker stopped them, and the incident even got in the news. Tucker the Hero had a big ego boost over that. Evidently, somebody thought a "hero" would be the perfect person to leave a baby with. Early one morning, after a rush of customers, Tucker went to clean the tables and... yeah. Somebody left a baby all bundled up in a booth. Tucker was ALONE, and because of an accident in the city, emergency numbers were busy, and he PANICKED, closed the coffee shop, raided the cash register, and got a bunch of baby formula and diapers. Church is ticked off about this at first, but eventually Tucker settles down, and when family for the baby can't be located, it seems like maybe Tucker can actually do the whole dad thing

Caboose; a new employee who is a bit "accident prone", and somehow, it always negatively impacts Church. However, Caboose has a lot of enthusiasm for work nobody else wants to do, so Church keeps him around. Caboose is also good at coming up with new treat combos people love to try (special cupcakes and ice cream flavors, all that jazz). He and Tucker sort of fight for Church's attention, to which Church responds "Guys, guys- I hate you both, equally!". He and Tucker also kind of get along, but in the worst way (they aren't allowed to clean together at night anymore; they tried to combine cleaning products in the toilet for "efficiency", and it exploded)

Sheila; the one who takes calls and drive-through orders... a lot of people think it's some kind of automated voice recording that responds to their words, but that's just how she talks on the phone. She also keeps track of the finances, because Church keeps doing the math wrong

Tex; a temporary employee Church calls in when somebody is sick, or Tucker is busy with baby stuff. A lot of people assume from they way they act around each other that Tex, like... stole his wife from him and caused a divorce or something. Everybody is very surprised to learn that she's his ex-girlfriend, that he isn't totally broken-up with, and are maybe still a thing together. She refuses to wear a uniform, and instead just looks like a random biker helping herself to the coffee

Kai; she used to mooch free coffee from her bro, but Sarge cut her off. She got a job at the rival coffee place out of spite, and is now with the Blues. She doesn't pay much attention at work (and keeps wearing clothes that she THINKS are blue... but it never is), but she gets a lot of customers to pay attention to HER, so she's good for repeat-business from people who enjoy flirting (she does suggest they start selling various merch, shirts/hats and what-not, of which she takes a cut of the profits)

The Director; he's some kind of property-flipper, who wants to do something stupid like buy all the coffee places in town, because he and his now dead wife had coffee on their first date, and he's too depressed every time he sees people drinking coffee. No coffee for anybody. He wants to buy out the businesses and open a pretentious "health food" store (it's just regular food, but everything is called "artisan" and the prices are jacked way up. Freelancer Foods, sure why not). The Red and Blue coffee places won't sell to him, so he tries to send employees there for corporate sabotage

Wash; the first person sent over, initially as a go-between for both the Reds and Blues when they have vendor spaces at a county fair (or whatever). Wash isn't super into the idea if doing this, but his boss has old files on him about some... illegal incidents in his past, and is basically threatening to call the cops on Wash. After an accident at the fair, Church winds up in the hospital, and Wash gets found-family-ed by the Blues, who force him to do all the boring responsible stuff. He officially quits his old job, and finds out that there aren't any active warrants/active charges on him anyway (his previous boss was using it as an empty threat. he very much did break the law, it's just been so long, he's not wanted anymore. it wasn't a big deal, anyway. he beat up a cop who was harassing his friends~)

Carolina; shows up at Blue Cup Coffee one day, and kinda just starts demanding to know where Church is. He woke up from the hospital... and kinda wandered off. Evidently, he's related to her, and there's been some WEIRD issues with her family lately, so she just found out about him. Church has got some memory loss problems, and seems offended by the idea that he works at a coffee shop "What, no? I DEFINITELY should have a cooler job than that. Like... a firefighter. Who rides a motorcycle". Although she's pretty bossy and intimidating, Church isn't afraid to just argue back with her, and it eventually helps her be less harsh with everybody. She helps expose the wrongful activity at her father's business, and gets the Reds and Blues to finally join together (now they have one shared location, but the inside is divided right down the middle as RED and BLUE, like an argument in a sit-com)

[entrancedsnow70]

Coffee shop au for s1 of rvb where everything is the same it's just a character decided to set up a coffee shop to get the other teams flag (incomprehensible scheme)

You joke but I can actually kinda see that happening. Like this would have been a plot in season 14 if Roosterteeth weren’t cowards. Or maybe one of the shenanigans they got up to on Iris.

[finerafin]

RVB OFFICE AU? HIGH SCHOOL/TEACHERS AU? RIVALING COFFESHOP AU? C:

Oh boy. I have never thought of one of these AU’s, buuuuut, well …

(This got really long, so I’ve put it under a cut)

Office AU: They all work for Church Inc. in two different departments. Sarge is the manager of Red Department and Church (the junior one) is the manager of Blue department.Grif and Simmons started their training together and are still in the same department years later. (Simmons has declined several promotion offers to stay whith Grif, which his father, an executive director at the same company, isn’t happy about. Grif doesn’t know about both, though). They also have moved in together, but they are not in a relationship, godamnit, Tucker, stop spreading rumours. Tucker’s boyfriend Wash, an ex-military, sometimes stops by with Junior.Donut and Caboose are interns and Caboose keeps bringing his dog Freckles, a really big Rottweiler. Nobody dares to stop him after the incident with Church.Carolina and Kimball are responsible for the trainees and they love to mess with the others, so they keep sending trainees to them. Jensen has caused multiple power outages, Bitters keeps stealing Grif’s Oreos, Matthews tries to impress them, Andersmith and Caboose get along too well and Palomo has tried flirting with about every woman in the office. Doyle’s only job is to file the complaints about the trainees.Church hates that he has to put up with all the idiots. It gets worse as his girlfriend Tex shows up one day because she soon gets a hang on watching him trying to prevent chaos.Sheila (officially F.I.L.L.I.S., but nobody calls her that) is their company-intern computer system which may have developed a will on its own.The first time Doc, medic at the hospital just across the street, visits his boyfriend Donut at his workplace is also the first time Sarge gets a visit from his girlfriend, Dr. Grey, a doctor at the hospital just across the office building, was also the day Church tried to drag Freckles outside because you can’t bring your dog, Caboose! and got bit in the arm. He needed to stay in the hospital for a few days and the Reds and Blues made him a get well soon card. Church would never admit it, but he actually liked that they cared so much about him.

Bonus: Felix and Locus are shareholders and also at the Board of Directors, but actually they are spying for Hargrove Inc.The rest of the freelancers are former employees/shareholders of Church Inc. who left for reasons I haven’t figured out yet. Maybe the company got into some illegal stuff they uncovered or something? Or maybe they still are shareholders and the Reds and Blues will uncover this.

High School/Teachers AU: Blood Gulch High is a small school in a suburb of a big city and if you’ve got the money, you send your children to the better school farther away. Dr. Grey is the school psychologist and Doc is the school’s medic (he’s still a student, but he knows more about that stuff than the rest of the school except for Dr. Grey, which is still not much) even if they only have to share a small adapted storage room as office/sickroom/ect.Sarge has started as janitor and still is the janitor, but he has taken over physics lessons and chemistry lessons and maths lessons and history lessons and has somehow managed to build an robot between all of that.Wyoming is the English teacher and the reason why half of the school uses British words.Florida teaches cooking class and gym class.Dr. Grey sometimes teaches a combination of psychology and health class, but most of the time she is caught up in her studies and forgets about it. Doc has tried to take over once. It didn’t end well.The school also has no principal. The old one retired and somehow the Ministry of Education has never noticed and replaced him. BGH runs on donations from the local big company (Church Inc.) and improvisation. Most of the parents don’t know though, and if they do they either don’t care or send their children to another school as soon as possible.There are also only two classes: the Older ones and the Younger ones. (There are too few students for proper classes and as they can do what they want they just threw them together.)The rest of the Freelancers and Mercs are all in the Older Class and the Reds and Blues and people from chorus are in the Younger Class.(There are no real pairings here except for Florida/Wyoming and Sarge/Grey, because they are all too young.)

Rivalling Coffee Shop AU: So, there’s this one Coffee shop and it’s called Wake Up Coffee. It’s owned by this weird older man named Sarge and his only employees are Grif, Simmons, Donut and Lopez, who only speaks Spanish for some reason, and they live in the apartment directly over the coffee shop with Donut’s boyfriend Doc. They are all studying in town so Sarge lets them live there for free and pays their full wage. Grif and Simmons are in a relationship, too, and they think nobody noticed, but in fact, everyone knows. They are just not subtle.Church, who lives across the coffee shop used to go to Wake Up Coffee until that one disastrous day he walks in, wearing his favourite cobalt blue shirt to get his first coffee of the day, still half asleep.He only remembers Sarge yelling something about Blue traitor and then he got fucking banned from the coffee shop for no fucking reason.He rants about this to Tex who doesn’t even pity him, snorts: “Well, then open your own.” and just leaves for work.So Church, still half asleep and on caffeine deprivation, decides that this is a very good idea. He calls his friend Tucker and his best friend Caboose and they get right started. Wash supports their idea enthusiastically.Church borrows the money they need from his sister Carolina and they rent the little empty shop that’s conveniently right under Church’s apartment and buy all the equipment and furnishing on that afternoon. Donut might have helped them with the interior design.They meet again the next morning after Tex has left for work to find a name (which proves to be the hardest). Tucker suggests Tea’se me or Steaming Hotties, Wash googles, reads out 100+ names and then says Bean there, Drank that, the first one he read out, was the best, Church just wants to find a name that isn’t a bad pun and Caboose spends the time drawing a logo which turns out really good.They end up calling it F’Coffee.The next day their equipment arrives and they spend the rest of the day furnishing their coffee shop. As Tex comes back in the evening they are nearly finished and Church proudly shows her the coffee shop. She looks around somehow surprised, closely inspects the very expensive coffee machine and Church tells her that they want to open the next day.And she just nods and smiles and takes another look around, turns back to Church and asks: “Where are the mugs?”

@bluevsblue I hope you like it! These are not really shippy, but I came up with these AU’s out of the blue and spent half an hour looking up how a corporation is structured and another 30 minutes I tried to find names for the coffee shops.

[camp-max]

// oh roosterteeth

don’t make me miss rping donut i can’t draw halo armor again

[paterday]

I love those rvb coffee shop au type things where they have project freelancer be like. A totally normal cafe but keep the Serious Crime. So like you have a completely normal Starbucks whose owners were caught committing triple homicide multiple times or some shit

[cyborg-sabi]

Some p old (and simple) modern AU sketches for today. I plan on coloring these later, but I’ve had a wild day so I’m posting these as they are right now.

Simmons isn’t a morning person vs baby’s first boba. Either way he’s a human disaster.

[neon-crayons]

RvB Coffee Shop AU!

Okay, so i have Tuckingtin Coffee Shop AU on the brain, so I've decided to take ficlet requests 100-500 word fics about our favorite boys and their misadventures working in a coffee shop! So send me your coffee shop AU's or one sentence thoughts and I'll wip up a little something!

[aestheticsandwriting]

One-Shot a Day, Day 2: First Snow- RvB

Link to read it on ao3.

Summary:  It's the first snow of the year and Tucker is thankful that it's a Saturday so he can be at home to enjoy it with Junior. Snowmen, snowball fights, cocoa, and snuggles ensue. Modern-day AU.

Tucker rolls over, burying his face in one of the many pillows on his bed, this one still faintly smelling of Wash from he had stayed over a couple nights earlier. Noticing that it seems brighter outside than normal, the dark-skinned man drags himself out of bed, shivering slightly as the blanket slips off him.

Pulling the curtain to the side, he blinks his eyes shut, blinded as the sun bounces off the fresh layer of snow on the ground. He opens his eyes again, slowly this time to allow them to adjust to the brightness outside. The former soldier looks around, guessing there’s about 8 inches of fresh snow on the ground that fell during the nighttime hours.

Glancing over to the clock, he’s surprised that Junior hasn’t rushed in to wake him up yet, though the boy had been sleeping in later on the weekends recently and been complaining of being more tired than normal. Tucker’s sure it’s another growth spurt and isn’t looking forward to having to shop for winter clothes for the second time this winter. They had had to buy a whole new wardrobe at the beginning of the winter due to his summer growth, and now they would have to do it again. Sighing, Tucker turns from the window, quietly padding down the short hallway to start the coffee maker before peeping in to check on his son, who’s still sound asleep in his bed, not daring to wake him.

Tucker walks back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple of toaster waffles from the freezer to eat along with his coffee, and sticks them in to heat up. When the waffles are done and the coffee poured, he plops down on the couch, tucking his feet under him, and turns on the TV, pulling up netflix and picking up where he had left off on Criminal Minds.

Forty-five minutes later he hears Junior’s door slam open, his son running down the hall towards the sound of the TV. “Daddy!!! It snowed!! Can we go play in it? I want to make snow angels and a snowman and throw snowballs at each other! Please, please, please, pleeeaeaaaase?” The boy, a carbon copy of his father, stands, bouncing on his toes, eyes lit up, and a hopeful smile across his face, long hair flying everywhere from the combination of bedhead and bouncing.

“Only after you eat breakfast, okay? Breakfast, and then we’ll bundle up and go out. What do you want?”

“Fiiiiiine. Can I have waffles?”

“Yep, that’s what I had, too. You want chocolate milk or water? I’ll make us some hot chocolate after we come in from the snow.”

“Water.”

“Alrighty, I got you a cup down, so you can come fill it up. Remember not too full.”

“Yep!”

Thirty minutes later, Tucker is zipping up Junior’s heavy winter coat, pulling on his mittens and tucking them under the coat sleeve, and pulling a hat on over Junior's bouncy curls before repeating the process with himself, both males having changed out of pajamas and into appropriate snow clothes.

“Alright, ready?”

“Yes!”

“Let’s go!” Tucker grabs the apartment key, placing it securely inside a zipper pocket, and the father and son head out the door, Tucker reminding Junior not to run down the stairs since they could be slippery.

The two head to where there’s a grassy area at their apartment complex, one that the landlord said any kids living in the complex could play in with adult supervision, and Junior immediately flops into the snow to make an angel, Tucker not far behind him, hearing a snowplow in the distance cutting through the otherwise silent atmosphere that only comes when it snows. After snow angels, Junior decides it’s time for a snowman, and the two set to work, making sure to make the snowman small enough so that they’ll still have enough left for a snowball fight after.

Junior gathers a few small sticks to be the arms and nose, and Tucker spots a couple of acorns from one of the trees to be the eyes, and once they’re on, the father and son step back, admiring their handiwork, laughing of how rediculous the stick-for-a-nose looks.

“Do you know what time it is now, dad?”

“Hmmmm…” Tucker sticks a finger to his mouth, pretending to think hard, “time to go in!”

“Noooooo!!”

“Hmmmm… time to make more snow angels?”

“Nooooo!”

“Well then I guess it’s just time for us to sit out here and get really cold?”

“Noooo, daddy!”

“Wait! You don’t mean,” he drops his voice to a stage-whisper, “a snowball fight?”

“Yeah!!!” And that’s all it takes for Junior to slap a face full of snow into Tucker's face, running away laughing as Tucker blindly scoops up some snow and throws it in the general direction of his six-year-old, laughing back as he hears some of it make contact.

After another twenty minutes, the father and son are exhausted, breathing heavy and laughing at their snow-covered hats and hair, freezing. “Come on, bud, let’s go in and get some hot chocolate, what do you say?”

“Yeah! I like the sound of that!”

The two stomp and shake off what snow they can before climbing the stairs to their second-story entrance, immediately feeling the warmth when they enter the building. “Go change out of those clothes into something dry and warm, okay bud? I’m gunna set the milk on to warm up before I change. Put your wet clothes in the bathroom and I’ll hang them up to dry.”

“Okay, daddy! Can I pick a movie for us to watch when I’m done?”

“Yup.” Tucker pops the ‘P’ making Junior laugh as he retreats down the hallway.

Tucker grabs the milk, pouring some into a pan and setting the temperature on low before jogging down the hall to change quickly, wanting to be back in the kitchen to finish the cocoa before the milk overheats.

Once the clothes are hung off of various bathroom surfaces, dry clothes have been donned, and mugs of cocoa with marshmallows have been poured for both, the father and son curl up on the couch to watch Elf, Junior’s favorite Christmas movie.

Tucker smiles gently down at his son curled into his side; things weren’t always as easy as they were now, and even now he had to budget things to stay within his paycheck, but he no longer needed assistance to care for his son and he was proud of that and proud that he had his son in his life. He smiles wider as he sees Junior try to hide a yawn, yawning himself.

By the end of the movie, Junior can barely keep his eyes open, and Tucker suggests that they put on another movie and lay down, napping if they want. The six-year agrees, loving the days he gets to cuddle with his dad and be lazy. As the two settle in, Junior practically laying on top of his father, Tucker sighs contentedly, squeezing his arms around his son a little tighter, happy that this snow day fell on a day where they could relax and enjoy their time together.

[bitsby]

RvB McD’s AU

(based on my comment to @not-madder-red about how people are obsessed with coffee shop AU’s: like lemme just throw simmons in a McD's and have him hit on grif at the register by saying "welcome would you like my McDick?")

Grif finds love at the local McDonald’s.

Grif and Tucker roll through the drive thru of the local McDonald’s.

As Grif rolls down the window, a screeching noise blares through the speaker. Tucker puts his fingers in his ears and yells, "What the FUCK, MAN?!"

A nervous voice crackles through the audio. "Oh-- uh-- sorry about that, just uh, I'm new here--"

Grif ignores him and orders, "Yeah so we'll get 14 McDoubles and 3 orders of 20 piece McNuggets."

The voice on the other line is silent for a moment, then asks hesitantly, "Oh, okay, got it. Are you guys having a party or something?"

"No, that's just for me. Tucker, what do you want?" Tucker orders a Big Mac and a happy meal for Junior, then they pull up to the window.

Grif thinks the dude at the register is cute, albeit nerdy as fuck in his visor and apron.

He reads Dick on the name tag.

Grif smirks. "Hey, Dick. I'd like to add something else to my order."

Simmons looks at him questioningly. "I mean, um, sure, I can call over a manager I don't know how to do that yet after you've already--"

Grif laughs, leaning his arm outside of the window, and waggles an eyebrow.

"That won't be necessary. I'd like a side of your McD's. As in, McDick. As in, you."

"... That didn't even fucking make sense."

Grif rolls his eyes, smile plastered on his face. "Uh huh. But it worked, right? When's your shift end?"

Taken aback by the forwardness of the question, Simmons stammers. "Uh, um. Well-- 15 minutes. But--"

"Great. I'll go park and wait for you in the lobby so I can grab my side."

They exchange cash, Grif slipping a piece of paper with his phone number in between, and drives away to the second window.

(to be continued)

[rubykgrant]

(For the fun of it, I’m writing a bunch of RVB “Everything is the same, BUT-” stories, basically AUs that only change a few details, but not the entire plot. Here is the beginning of “Everything is the same, But Grif and Simmons met earlier”)

Dick Simmons is determined to make this WORK.

His parents are giving him this ONE chance, and he can’t let them down. Not again. Not this time. It is just too important…

All those bad test scores finally added up. Sure, he had passed all his classes thanks to extra-credit work, and he had graduated successfully, but… not a single teacher had been impressed with him. He stammered through every single presentation and oral report, he never worked well in a group, and when it came to additional activities, he never stood out (he still felt a twinge of resentment… all the things he was actually interested in, he hadn’t been allowed to join. His father had insisted he be part of some sports team, and he was TERRIBLE at sports. His mother encouraged him to try something else, but as usual, she dropped all her little hints that he wouldn’t be good enough for the gifted programs… and ultimately, she was right).

None of the colleges he applied to had accepted him. He didn’t have enough of his own money saved to afford anything on his own (and a future of loans followed by never-ending debt terrified him). Just barely into adulthood, Dick Simmons was suddenly faced with a very bleak future… he has nothing to do. No job. No school. No friends. His family refuses to allow him to simply sit at home and watch TV all day (because then he’ll just develop a bad habit of being lazy and aimless, his mother tells him… and in a way, he believes her). They give him one suggestion; join up. Enlist, and be shipped out to fight the good fight.

That means learning how to use weapons. That means OTHER people will be aiming weapons at HIM.

He isn’t especially motivated to get shot somewhere in outer space, so after getting the silent-treatment for several days, he begs his parents for something ELSE as an option. Eventually, they show mercy and speak to him… they’ll give him ONE CHANCE. Just one, to prove himself. They will pay for one year of classes at a university (not one of his personal choice, it will have to be somewhere that his father has some connections, but beggars can’t be choosers, and that is LITERALLY what is going on. He’s begging, and he has no choice). He’ll have to use his own savings to find a place to live and buy food. After one year is up, if he has managed to get decent grades and impress the professors, MAYBE his family will provide the money for additional classes.

Maybe.

He can’t mess this up. It has to WORK.

Dick Simmons winds up in New York. He arrives two weeks before his classes start, attends several interviews to meet the faculty and get a tour of the campus. The school isn’t very big; actually, it was somewhat cozy and casual… but he still feels intimidated. He has never worked well under pressure, and right now, ALL OF THE PRESSURE is on him. He hasn’t even started any of the classes, but he already feels like he’s behind on his homework.

He hasn’t found a decent place to live, either. Everywhere is so EXPENSIVE. He doesn’t qualify as a full-time student (his parents aren’t paying for all those classes), so he can’t live in the student housing. Even the tiniest, cheapest apartments will drain him of all his savings in just a couple of months… unless he found some roommates. Which is basically impossible. He didn’t even have any friends back home, how is he going to find some now?

First impressions are very important, and somehow, he always did the wrong thing when he tried to meet new people… for now, he’s been staying in cheap motels. They’re dirty and gross, but he can afford to stay here and eat at the same time (he’s not getting in these grody beds, though… instead, he sprayed disinfectant all over the floor, rolled out a blanket, and has been in a sleeping bag. It’s rough on his back, but at least he doesn’t literally feel his skin crawl. He’s not eating any food inside his room, either. This way, he won’t attract any BUGS).

One evening, while walking the route between his motel and the university (so he won’t get lost when classes begin), he passes by the student housing community… and sees some fliers; that weekend, there are going to be several parties to welcome back returning students, and help new students get to know everybody. This could be his big chance! He can meet some people here, people who will be his fellow classmates, people who might also be looking for roommates!

OK, he just has to get ready… he fusses over himself, trying to figure out something to wear that will make him look like a responsible potential roommate, but also doesn’t give out painful dork-vibes (everybody figures out he’s a dork eventually, but hopefully, he can ease them into that). He finally settles on a dark red button-up short-sleeved shirt and jeans. Not quite job-interview-clothes, because he’ll never look like a party-animal, but chill enough that he won’t be mistaken for somebody’s dad. Instead, he just looks like… a very tall and nervous red-head. He tries to part his hair one way, and then the other, unsure of which will look better. In the end, he realizes it doesn’t matter, he looks like somebody who dressed up as the archetype of “Junior CEO” for Halloween. The glasses only add to this, but he knows better than to try the contacts (his eyes will just water and run all night). He tries to slightly ruffle his own hair, so his bangs are a little more loose… that’s better.

When he walks over to the student housing area, he goes a little earlier in the evening than the time specified for the party. His nerves won’t allow him to be late, but he also knows better than to be the first one there (especially when he’s alone). He waits for a while across the street, then starts to see groups of people walking up to the entry gate that leads to the student apartment complex. NOW it was safe to join in. He has his student ID badge with him, and the security guard gives him a little nod when he shows it to enter.

As he looks around at all the different apartment buildings, he sees they have banners on them for different kinds of parties (friends who are reuniting, people who will be seniors this years, different academic and sports groups, ect). He sees one that proclaims this is a party for new students to meet and mingle with their returning classmates, so he decides that’s the one for him.

The door is propped open, and inside people are already in the middle of a party; lots of drinks and snacks everywhere, music blasting, laughing and talking… he’s totally out of his element, but nobody here knows that. He can fake it, he can mingle in a non-lame way. He can make this work. The main party is taking place in the large living room and kitchen on the first floor, but a few people are wandering upstairs. As he glances around, he sees a bathroom down a hallway (maybe bedrooms farther along and around the corner). There are sliding-glass doors on the far side of the living room that leads to some kind of patio, a couple of coffee tables that are cluttered with left-behind paper plates and plastic cups in the middle of the room.

He tries to locate the host, or at least somebody who actually lives in this specific apartment, but it is impossible. People are rushing all around him, he can’t seem to get a conversation going… jeez, he’s ALREADY a reject. This must be some kind of record. He takes a deep breath, and tries to relax. Forcing himself to act like he’s actually open and confident, he waves at somebody, says hello, they smile and hand him a cup of soda. For a minute, he almost thinks this will be alright, but then the other person sees somebody they know, and they’re gone, and he’s alone, and this is just his entire life, isn’t it? He doesn’t know what to do or where to go, nobody wants him around, and he just… he doesn’t even know why he’s here.

---

Dexter Grif is trying to stay positive.

He’s been stuck in a rut for a long time, arguably most of his life, but now he has a chance to change it.

His childhood had been a mess; no structure, no schedule, no reliability… some of it had been fun, though. He got to run around backstage and behind the booths at the circus, something most little kids DREAMED of doing, and when the circus was doing well, he had free treats whenever he was hungry. Sometimes the circus wasn’t doing very well. Sometimes, his parents weren’t doing very well. Being a small child with no control over anything in his life, he was at the mercy of those around him. Unfortunately, this meant he wasn’t doing very well.

He started school late, about 5 months after the other kids began kindergarten. That unfortunately became a pattern… in the years that followed, he would miss class, usually because his mom didn’t get him to school on time, and occasionally because he just didn’t want to be there. By the time he was in 3rd Grade, he was considered a “problem child”.

Early on, it was just him, his mom, and his dad. Then his dad was gone. Then his dad came back. Then his dad left again, but now he had a baby sister. Kaikaina was the reason he started paying attention to what day of the week it was, even if his mom still acted like every day was the weekend. Dexter Grif was a big brother now. He always made sure she was clean, had toys to play with, and food to eat. When she got big enough to crawl and then walk, he kept a close eye on her so she didn’t get lost or hurt (well, she got a few bumps and bruises, a couple of scrapes and skinned-knees… because she was also a circus kid who ran around everywhere. Her brother was a very good at fixing up boo-boos, though).

As they both got older, they were left alone more and more. Their mom didn’t always remember to go shopping for them. He still made sure Kai definitely had food, even if it meant giving her all his cereal and the last can of soup. He gets her to kindergarten every day, which is in the opposite direction of his big-kid school, so he’s always late… sometimes he just skips. When he starts getting desperate, he goes into grocery stores and steals packages of cookies right off the shelf, and runs out as fast as he can. When he is at school, he starts sneaking into the cafeteria to raid the fridge, or gets into the back-pack closet so he can go through the other kids’ lunchboxes. He’s considered a problem child, a delinquent, a lazy good-for-nothing…

He’s just hungry. He never wants his sister to feel like this, so he gives her all the food at home, and they keep running out of money, and they need other stuff like soap and clothes, so he takes that too, and he doesn’t trust any of the adults he knows to ask for help, so he’s just… stuck. He’s been stuck in the same rut since he was 5 years old… he wants out.

He wants to try and do something better, BE something better. High school had been torture, some of the teachers seemingly determined to make him give up on ever doing anything, but he still has hope. A few more years go by, Kai is doing alright, maybe now is the right time. She still depends on him, but he also knows she’s sick of her big bro always being up in her business. She’ll never actually start taking care of herself if he keeps stepping in.

He has to try and change. He needs to actually make an EFFORT.

He gets into college. It is mostly because of what he calls a “pity-scholarship”, meaning he’s a disadvantaged youth that college recruiters think would make an interesting success story… but he has to maintain high grades the whole time. If he starts to slip, they’ll cut him loose. He’s hardly a genius, but he’s not nearly as stupid as people think he is. He can do better. He can learn. He can TRY.

It is a bitter-sweet farewell from his sister when he leaves… they both try to keep it light and jokey, her telling him she’s gonna throw a party and trash his room once he’s gone, and him telling her not to do anything that will embarrass the family. Part of him doesn’t want to leave her… because in some ways, she still needs him, even if she doesn’t always want him around, and as stressful as it was, taking care of her has been the one constant thing in his life.

If he stays, he’ll never change. Kai will keep growing as a person, and one way or another, she’ll leave him behind eventually. He needs to grow, too.

He goes to New York, and he starts trying to figure out what to do with his life. It HAS to be different. At least he gets the housing problem solved; going to classes full-time means he gets to live in the student apartments. He hasn’t met everybody yet, but he’ll have a total of 3 roommates (two guys to each room, plus each room has it’s own bathroom, with a shared kitchen and living room… not too bad at all). He’s told by the first roommate he met, an older dude named Cole, that the other guys will show up at the mix-and-mingle party.

Before heading out, he takes the time to put on his brand-new hoodie (literally the first not-used thing he’s ever worn). It’s yellow, but not like neon-sunshine, more like a soft macaroni color (thinking about colors makes him miss his sister... she just didn’t see colors like other people did, and when he described them to her as a kid, he always related them to things she could understand; texture/scent/taste/emotions). He would have liked orange more, but this works for him. He’s got his faded-black cargo pants on, and it looks kinda cool with the yellow. Since he’s already thinking about her, he decides to do what Kai would if she were here, and pulls his hair up in a loose bun (they both had long dark-brown curls, but somehow, his was less prone to tangles, and she liked to play with his hair).

Dexter Grif is looking forward to this; it should be fun, meeting lots of other new students, being introduced to people that are coming back and know how the school works. This was college, the place you were supposed to find yourself, or reinvent yourself… he wasn’t going to be absent kid who always cut class, or the lazy kid who fell asleep at his desk. He wasn’t going to steal food or anything else to get by, he’d find a job somewhere, he’d take care of himself for once. He was going to get good grades, and graduate, and… and who knows what else. On the night of the party, surrounded by so many excited people laughing and taking, he feels like the whole world is brand new. He doesn’t know what will happen, but maybe that’s a good thing; just one of life’s great mysteries.

Somebody ordered pizza, 5 larges, and evidently they’re for EVERYBODY. He slowly makes his way over to a coffee table, reaching out to grab a slice of pepperoni… and it is just about the best pizza he’s ever had. Felling good and satisfied with food in his belly, he looks around, trying to decide if he wants to try and chat with another person...

Then he sees somebody; LITERALLY a wall-flower, back pressed flat against the wall near the kitchen, a cup of soda in hand, looking ready to cry out of frustration.

Oh no, he’s CUTE.

[coaxionunlimited]

RvB Fic Recs - AO3 Edition

This is going to be a highly eclectic and very personal list of fics that I liked during my recent RvB fic binge. Most of them are going to be a little obscure, but there’s no hard and fast theme.

AI: The logistics of sharing your head with an untested computer program that feels things have always fascinated me. These are fics about getting comfy-cozy with the stranger in your head. Spartan-B240 by eggstasy: Tuckington Halo 5 AU where Tucker is the voice in Wash’s head. I really love the build of Tucker and Wash’s relationship here, how they’re both trying hard to help each other, how Tucker makes Wash feel like a real person, how Wash is really and obviously gone on him. And also this approach to the logistical difficulties of falling in love with an AI program. The sequel is incomplete, but worth a read, especially for the Church+Caboose friendship in the first and last chapters.

Proper expression of emotion in bra-ket notation by thought: York and Delta are picking a lock, and hey, did anyone do research on how to stay within the safe limits of your AI’s capabilities? No? Oh well.

2-1 by QueSeraAwesome: In which Delta definitely does not have feelings OR insecurities about his relationships with York, and someone should probably be keeping an eye on Sigma.

Prepared by Blueberryshortcake: Delta invades York’s dreams. Short - but worth it for protective (and subtextually anxious) Delta.

South & Theta by madelinescribbles: Did someone say South redemption arc? Well, even if that someone wasn’t you, you have to admit you’re curious about what would happen if South and Theta talked to each other. Or dealt with their grief over North’s death together. Same difference. Incomplete, but that’s never stopped me.

Tuckington Borderlands AUs where Tucker is a Siren (don’t worry you don’t really have to know anything about Borderlands to enjoy these): … okay look, I realize that this is a very specific category name but in my defense [AIRPLANE TAKES OFF, OBSCURING THE REST OF THE SENTENCE]. Nothing Good by BoxOnTheNile: In which Tucker also has issues! There’s not enough fics about Tucker being just as banged up as Wash on the inside, and you know you’ve been looking for it. I really love Tucker’s other friendships in this fic, the sense that he’s really built a life for himself, and the slow give and take of trust between him and Wash really butters my biscuits. There’s another oneshot in this series, and the last chapter of BoxOnTheNile’s RVB Trans Week compilation (Be Someone (That Makes You Happy)) is also in this 'verse.

No Hero to Call Home by bismuthBallistics: In which Tucker is a mechanic and his favorite person in the world is the guy who comes in every three months to get a tune up on his prosthetic leg. Too bad Wash didn’t get that memo. Read this for some Really Excellent Tucker pining, and also for Tucker really caring about Wash and trying to take care of him, and also for Wash cooking for Tucker, and also the way they resolve Tucker getting frustrated with Wash’s general inability to friend really rings true, and also - look, I could keep going for a while here. Read this fic. 

Locus Angst and Rehabilitation: Think Wash angst, except clearly superior because there’s more Red Team.  I’ll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife by illumynare: Incomplete, but all three of four chapters are full of that Good Shit. Did you want Locus being unable to cope with basic kindness? Did you want pining for friendship? Did you want to be really, cripplingly sad about Locus? This is the fic for you.

Vanished Marvels by BoxOnTheNile: Oneshot, Simmons and Grif take care of an assassin. Some comfort for all the hurt you got from reading that last fic :D. Comes as part of a series, with an incomplete Locus/Grif/Simmons sequel and a Tuckington prequel, in case you needed some more ex-supersoldier h/c.

Green is Definitely a Shade of Red by Prim_The_Amazing: Does anyone else think it’s really unfair that Blue team gets all the ex-supersoldiers? If you do, this is your fic. In which Locus is totally, absolutely, and definitely not enjoying getting adopted by the Reds. Honestly. Contains 200% more shenanigans than your average Locus fic.

Series Recs: Because not every fic is standalone.  Blood Gulch Freelancers by eggstasty: What if the Blood Gulch Crew were a part of Project Freelancer? Read it for good mom Carolina, Caboose’s tragic backstory, and Allison being alive, which makes everything much less fucked up. … As long as you don’t look too hard, that is.

Five Reds and a Baby by a_taller_tale: Sarge ordered a baby from a catalogue, and it turns out to be a clone of Grif, and - look, it makes sense in context. 100% pure Grimmons, Red Team, and baby fluff. 

flying and burning by tumbleoutyourhair: Mostly tuckington oneshots, with a couple of grimmons ones. Contains a lot of That Good Wash Angst, especially thirteen and fourteen.

Zombie Immunity AU by HappyFunBallXD: Grif has an immunity to zombies and a plan - too bad life is getting in between him and Alaska. The main fic in the series is unfinished, but there’s plenty of Blood Gulch Crew zombie shenanigans and grimmons to go around.

Coffee Shop AU by mumblybee: Look, I got into the fandom in 2014, I have a horrible, horrible weakness for sad yorkalina. This is a modern au, featuring coffee and being a sad millennial.

Did someone say dorkalina? An OTP? In this economy? It’s more likely than you’d think. Satellite Mind by eponymous_rose: The Director didn’t consider the impact of AI on his Agent’s sex lives. At least, we hope he didn’t. York and Delta negotiate boundaries, Carolina helps. NSFW.

We Were Up All Night Talking Trash And Wasting Time by thought: Project Freelancer is falling apart, Carolina and York have sex about it. Delta helps. Sad and poetic, my favorite kind of fanfiction.

Opacity by bismuthBallistics, red_as_ever: Urban fantasy, plotty. York goes blind, Carolina helps. Delta is alternately a solution and an obstacle, and no one escapes a clash between the fae courts unscathed.

Carolina Genfics: Because Agent Carolina, man. Wash and Locus aren’t the only supersoldier assholes who need a redemption arc. Banana Bread Bonding by Aryashi: Agent Carolina tries to get Grif to teach her how to relax. Hilarity ensues. If that doesn’t make you want to read it, consider that it’s tagged “Co-Authored By Carolina's Ability to stalk people until she gets what she wants”.

Kiss My Bright Red Ass, Sir by Hinn_Raven: In which Carolina was Sarge’s daughter the entire time. Much more serious than it sounds and a fair bit sad - but if you’ve ever thought to yourself “man, I wish Carolina had a better family situation” this is the fic for you.

A Field Guide to Haircare in Wartime by saltsanford: In which the Reds get Carolina some self-care and forgiveness. If you liked Vanished Marvels from the Locus section, you’ll like this.

Regret the Poor Children (Raindrop Remix) by PlayerProphet: In which Carolina gets a jumpstart on her redemption arc, and Wash gets help a little earlier. If you wanted Freelancer to end a little better, read this fic. It’s not a happy fic, but you get the sense that things are going uphill from here.

This Man Looked Exactly Like Natalie Portman When He Was 13 by eggstasy: THE Carolina & Caboose fic. This one’s got it all, folks! Carolina trying to change for the better, Carolina & Epsilon bromance, backwardses and forwardses and all the complications that come with finding yourself in the middle of a redeption arc, and finally, a happy ending. 

Time Travel and De-Aging: I’ll admit, I haven’t read extensively in this genre in RvB, but here are some of my favorites. put your curse in reverse by Sroloc_Elbisivni: PFL-era Carolina gets de-aged. Hilarity(?) ensues. Read for Freelancer team as family, really awkward dramatic irony (toddler Carolina calls Tex momma, for a start), and all your Maine and Wash being good with children needs.

Asphodel Meadows by Hinn_Raven: Tex lives! She also travels forward in time to the Chorus era, and fixes things, because she’s a badass like that. Read this for massive Tex bromance feels, and because you wanted Tex to live.

Hit and Run by creatrixanimi, RiaTheDreamer: Not technically time travel or de-aging, but teenaged Grif siblings in Project Freelancer really feels like it fits here. Contains parental unit 479er, Freelancer babysitting shenanigans, and North stealing children. Because you know he would. Incomplete.

(Change the Past, Choose the Future by Zoomda and The Red and Blue Home for Lost Fat Kids by ShadyJane both fit in this category, the former being Wash and Carolina time-travel fix it and the latter being de-aged Captain Grif, but since I haven’t finished either (and neither are finished), I can’t exactly write up a rec. Still, here they are, for the adventurous or desperate among you.)

Misc: Fics that don’t fit into the other categories. Outpost #1 Apartments by nan00k: Not your momma’s superhero au! Church escapes his dad/the Director’s highly unethical superhero program, and moves into Blood Gulch apartment complex. Mostly gen, focuses on Church recovering from all the crap he endured. Read this one for the plot, for the gentle build of some serious tension, and for some good Church friendships. Part of an incomplete series, the Carolina entry is next and is both complete and definitely worth a look.

Simmons Slipped Up So Hard He Needs Life-Alert by Lieutenant_Kader: Grimmons fluff! Grif sets up a movie date for Simmons, and it’s real cute. Contains twice your recommended daily dose of Star Wars and Tucker being a good bro.

Don’t Cross the (Time) Streams by Hinn_Raven: The Freelancers crash land in Blood Gulch. Chaos and confusion ensues. Watching the professional supersoldiers be out of their depth around the worst soldiers in the galaxy is completely hilarious.

[itsclydebitches]

They're multiple RWBY fanfics that are RWBY watches Red vs Blue or the cast watch the multiverse or the cast watch their own show, ect. Having the cast react to other shows through fanfics. What do you think the appeal of that is? It's not the official reactions as these are fanfics and it's just the text of the show being reacted to mixed in with the text of characters reacting. Are people craving react content that much? There's no story or anything.

Goddamn that is a fascinating question, anon. I can’t speak from a personal perspective considering I don’t read those fics myself, but I can hazard a guess. 

Though a good chunk of fanfiction does have plot, an equally good chunk doesn’t. At least, not plot from a mainstream storytelling perspective. A lot of fic functions as character studies instead, exploring the emotions of a moment rather than immediately moving onto the next action. Fic slows things down (and that’s one of the reasons why it feels so fulfilling to us. If you’re not gonna explore this character’s trauma, excitement, reaction, etc. then we will). A pretty straightforward example of this would be a fic that re-tells a canon scene from someone else’s perspective. Technically we haven’t been given any new plot here--the reader is presumably familiar with that canon scene already. Rather, the focus is entirely on how our understanding of that plot changes through new eyes. Another (admittedly more complicated example) might be something like a coffee shop au, a bed sharing scenario, any setup where we know exactly how the plot will unfold. We’re not reading it to find out, “*gasp* Will he go back to the shop or not??” (even if we joke about it). We’re reading to experience the emotions behind those obvious setups. 

What does this have to do with something like a RWBY watching RvB fic? I think the same expectations apply. We already know RWBY, we already know RvB... and that’s precisely the point. That prior knowledge gives space to put the focus on the emotions instead. Or rather, as you say, the reactions. How will our talented huntresses react to the messy RvB teams? How would they react to seeing versions of themselves? It’s a character study (with a side of crack), giving us insight into how the author sees these girls; using new and extreme situations to tell us something about their personality. Would Ruby be excited? Freaked out? Ready to attack? And can you write any of these in a persuasive manner? Notably, RT is interested in these kinds of reactions too. 

There’s a reason this sort of scenario is regulated to Chibi (as said: crack), but it can be very entertaining nonetheless. We don’t necessarily need plot to explore a character or a world and fic is particularly adept at pulling that off. 

[finerafin]

I should be studying or doing my homework ...

Have the logo for my Coffee Shop AU and a sparkly Florida with a flower crown (I love the sparkle brush of my new art programm)

[rvbfemslash]

Some more optional Femslash February prompts for you! (What do you win for a bingo? Personal satisfaction and bragging rights!)

Text version below the cut.

RvB Femslash February Prompts - AUs

Time Travel

Fusion

High Fantasy

Reincarnation

Superheroes

Historical

Soulmates

Secret Agents

Coffee Shop

Library

Bookstore

Road Trip

Domestic

Zombies

Nuclear Apocalypse

College

High School

Pro Athletes

Summer Camp

Magical Girl

Noir

Vampires & Werewolves

Pirates

Dancers

Crossover

[commodorebarbossa]

why do you think barbossa doesn't fit in modern verses?

((Mostly because of how I design verses. I try to keep as much of the character backstory and personality in tact, which means you have Captain Eyeroll over here in a modern coffee shop au, getting fed up, and pouring the coffee out on them.

Most every other character I’ve had I can move around in different verses because they were modern enough to slide into the future, or had traits that made them suitable to a historic/other universe. The Hetalia characters? They can totally work wherever. Chairman Hargrove from rvb? Shadowy manipulator with his fingers in business and politics? Those are all over the gaff.

Barbossa’s backstory is all about him wanting to avoid poverty, so he goes to sea, sees that he’s never going to be rich like the rest of the captains as a deckhand, so takes up a life of crime. I dont see him fitting into typical aus like college au, or coffee shop, or hsau. Not only that, modern pirates are a little... touchy to write on? If there was one thing I learned rping in the Hetalia fandom, you do not write on contemporary events, and modern piracy hits a little too closely for that for my comfort.

Now what Barbossa is suited for is a GTA or Mafia type verse where he can become a giant crime boss.

[ao3feed-grifsimmons]

The Name Game

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2srBUC6

by Yami_Sama

First entry for RvB Fluff Week!

Prompt: Grimmons Coffee Shop AU Grif keeps giving fake names to Simmons the Barista

Check out my Tumblr to send a prompt/request! [http://ift.tt/2rHgiEV]

Words: 644, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Red vs. Blue

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Richard Simmons, Dexter Grif, Franklin Delano Donut, Lavernius Tucker

Relationships: Pre-Grimmons, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons

Additional Tags: RvB Fluff Week, coffee shop AU, Grif being a dick, Donut and Tucker are dicks, Simmons is just done with their shit

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2srBUC6