#it's like comparing apples & oranges because both are fruits

[dhurrbyang]

some of y'all will literally say that you hate the booktok videos that lumps books by tropes and then turn around and judge said books by those said tropes because *checks notes* you trust the recommendation style of the people who you criticize of having bad media literacy.

[gemsofgreece]

How to follow a Mediterranean Greek diet

The Mediterranean diet naturally expands throughout the coastal countries of South Europe, North Africa and the Middle East but there are some small differences between their cuisines. So here I am writing specifically about the Greek version of the Mediterranean diet, known for its delicious, natural flavours and its significant health benefits.

Eat daily:

Olive oil: the pillar, the liquid green gold of the Mediterranean Greek diet. Olive oil should be used ideally exclusively for all purposes. It's dressing salads, it's used in cooking and in fact it's traditionally what is used in frying too. Replace all types of oils, butter and margarine with olive oil even when making pastries. The only problem here is that outside of the Mediterranean basin olive oil can be pricey, however that's the foundation the diet is based on. If you are interested in following the traditional Greek diet for taste or health purposes, it is good to really incorporate olive oil in your daily cooking. If it’s not possible to afford buying olive oil all the time (although you could balance it out by not buying other oils and butter), a non-Greek-typical but equivalent alternative could be avocado oil. However, I doubt avocado oil or any other oil can remotely compare to olive oil in health properties, taste or in any other positive quality 🫒

Vinegar: Just like olive oil, vinegar is a very important ingredient and is also used in natural remedies However, it can hurt a sensitive GI tract if consumed in large portions. A little bit of it added to meals frequently is very healthy. Apple cider vinegar is also very loved and used in salads often 🍇

Vegetables: no portion can be too much (wild greens, garlic, onions, cauliflowers, cucumbers, eggplants, beets, peppers, spinach, artichokes, zucchini, peas, lettuce, the list never ends). Tomatoes and broccoli are recent additions to the Greek diet however they were integrated perfectly to the Greek cuisine. In general, all vegetables can be enjoyed freely with some moderation in the potatoes, especially when fried 🥗

Fruits: grapes, berries, apples, melons, cherries, figs, prunes, sour cherries, peaches, pomegranates are the most historically loved fruits in the Greek diet. Since the middle ages citruses like the orange, the lemon and the mandarin are more and more loved. Greeks nowadays use lemon almost more than vinegar and both have become integral components of the Greek diet. Obviously, tropical fruits like, say, banana, mango, grapefruit are not present in the traditional Greek diet, however all fruits are good fruits and you can enjoy them freely 🍎

Legumes. Eat freely to the tolerance of your body. Legumes can be too heavy for some GI tracts. Legumes are a great source of protein and fibre. Choose brown lentils, white beans, fava beans, chickpeas, giant beans and black eyed peas the most 🫘

Nuts, seeds: almonds, walnuts, sunflower seeds, peanuts etc. Eat as much as your body can take, because everybody is different 🥜

Mushrooms: mushroom it up! A great healthy way to have them is grilled with herbs and plain or apple cider vinegar dressing 🍄‍🟫

Whole grains: this is the traditional way to eat grains. Brown bread, oats, whole wheat pasta 🌾

Fish and seafood: find and eat them fresh. Instead of buying them deep frozen from the big markets, find local fish stores if your place is coastal and has them. Eat both large but especially small and medium sized fish. Some fish like salmon and tuna should ideally not be consumed daily due to their high levels of mercury and fats 🐟🎣🍤

Herbs and spices. Feel free to use as much as you want however if you are interested also in the flavours of the Greek diet besides the health benefits, a tip is that Greek dishes do not contain extremely hot spices 🌿

Water: A lot of water daily and, mind you, plain clear mineral water. No flavoured water, definitely not sparkling water and ideally no other liquids in place of the water. I mean, sure you can have liquids but you should ALSO have plain water 💧

Eat a few times per week:

Poultry: Poultry and lean meats entered the Greek cuisine mostly after the Middle Ages however they are nowadays enjoyed as part of the Greek Mediterranean diet because they are tasty and healthier than other types of meat. Chicken has become especially popular in the Greek cuisine. Other birds are the pheasant, the quail, the turkey and more sparsely the duck 🍗

Eggs: eggs are healthy and should be consumed a few times per week but not daily because they can cause a rise in cholesterol levels 🥚

Dairy: Greeks LOVE dairy products, especially the various types of cheese, however they are often irritating to the GI tract and they are linked with rises in the level of inflammation in the body. This is why you should ideally limit them to a few times per week. One exception is the yoghurt, which is fermented and can be perhaps consumed more frequently due to its beneficial properties. Important note: if you want to follow the Greek diet, you should ideally opt for milk and other dairy products from goats and sheep! Cow milk is not traditionally used in the Greek cuisine often and sheep and goat milk are significantly healthier and more nutritious. The only drawback is the stronger smell, however if you can get past that, it is strongly advised to switch to those instead of cow milk. Another note: what is known as “Greek yoghurt” in western countries is not in fact a true Greek yoghurt. What you call Greek yoghurt is to us simply a strained yoghurt, a yoghurt from which the whey has been removed. Sometimes in western markets (and in Greek “modern” dessert yoghurt products) butterfat and powdermilk is added to them and they are mostly made of cow’s milk. Again, a traditional Greek yoghurt is made of sheep, goat milk or a mix of both and is unstrained. It also has a trademark thickened skin on its top (dunno if this is the actual term lol) which is in fact the part of the yoghurt that contains the most nutrients and personally it’s the tastiest part of the yoghurt but apparently it is not for everyone. As an example, a study showed that an unstrained sheep yoghurt has more protein, more omega-3 fatty acids and minerals yet fewer calories and fats than a strained cow yoghurt 🍦🧀

Wine: in small portions, like a small glass up to a few times per week and always in combination with your meal. You don’t drink it to get hammered, you drink it for the health benefits it has in very moderate quantities and for the reasonable mild euphoria it causes before it becomes harmful. The GI tract is linked to the brain and is detrimentally influenced by negative emotions. This is why it is important to try to be in a good mood, relaxed and peaceful when you sit down to eat. A sip of wine now and then can be good for that 🍷

Eat once per week or ideally less:

Red meat like pork or beef. In fact, beef should be the one most avoided not only because it is indeed the rarest of the common meats used in traditional Greek cuisine but also because you can’t separate the fat from the meat as easily as with pork. To follow the Greek style in a healthy way opt for goat, then lamb or pork and make beef your most occasional meat dish 🥩

Processed meats should be eaten rarely. If you are in a mood for it though, opt for Greek style sausages with herbs in or bacon at most. Cured meats like ham are better to be avoided but turkey is the healthiest of them. They are not a part of a traditional Greek cuisine though.

Refined grains can be enjoyed weekly but should not replace whole grains

Pastries. What’s new, pastries are not ideal for health. However, if you are yearning for something sweet, if you want to keep it healthy as much as possible in the “Greek way”, opt for desserts made of healthy ingredients like honey, nuts, olive oil and fruits. Chocolate came to Greece in the 19th century, however it has become an integral part of confectionery since then. Opt ideally for dark chocolate, combined with nuts or fruits such as oranges and prunes. Greeks especially love chocolate combined with nuts.

Soft and sugary drinks. Avoid them overall, especially the processed products in the markets. If you need a sweet drink really bad, you can keep it traditional by making your own sweet lemonade, sour cherry, pomegranate etc drink at home. You could also enjoy small quantities of lemon or mastic liquors which are good for digestion.

BONUS TIPS & PHILOSOPHY:

Try to find mastic if it’s available where you live. The mastic is a resin produced from the mastic tree, a species endemic to the Greek island of Chios and a small part of the opposite coast of Turkey. It has numerous beneficial properties, especially for digestion and gut health, and it combines them with a very pleasant fresh and sweet flavour. You can find it in gums that boost digestion, in drinks, in pastries and even in non-edible products like toothpastes. Learn about it and give it a try, no matter if you are interested in following Greek diet or not.

Greek cuisine does not go berserk on as many ingredients as possible (however Greeks typically add more ingredients than, say, Italians and perhaps fewer than the Middle Easterners). Don’t worry about adding as many foods and nutrients in one single dish. The most important thing in Greek cuisine philosophy is to pick the finest ingredients. Avoid deep frozen or precooked and processed ingredients. Pick whole fruits and vegetables from your local small grocery store. For example, don’t buy a watermelon slice in a zelatin bag from the supermarket. Take the whole freaking watermelon home. You heard me right. It’s heavy, yes, but you would be surprised how much tastier and healthier it is this way. Go to the butcher for meat. Go to the specific cheese shop for cheese. Go to the fisherman for fish and seafood. Go to the pastry shop and get a nice dessert instead of buying candies from the market.

Remember that in moderation you can eat most of the foods you desire, especially if they are not processed foods. There is nothing about the Greek diet that is restrictive in terms of its philosophy - historically the intake of various foods was regulated only based on availability and price. There are no foods you should limit due to any perception of them being “bad” and you should never feel guilty the moment you are actually having the food. Just work slowly and progressively by building gradual appreciation for healthy foods and prize less nutritious foods as occasional taste bud rewards.

As said above, a good mood is crucial when you sit down to eat. In the history of the Greek society this translated into eating with friends and / or family, maybe with the occasional sip of wine, ideally in a pleasant environment and always taking your time with your food. If some of these are less feasible than others, try alternatively to improve the setting in which you eat, to eat in an environment that calms you down. Schedule your meal so that you won’t eat in anxiety or hurry, if this is possible. Think of pleasant memories and feel grateful for your food. Cheers! Or, you know, εις υγείαν!

[avocado-writing]

Kinktober 8

8. Sex Pollen/Fuck or Die, Chastity, Sexual Competition

You are going to die.

It didn’t take that first time, almost two thousand years ago when they hammered you up, but now? In this bed? Oh, this is it. You’re going to cum to death.

“One more, nightingale.”

“I can’t,” you choke. The tears have been dry for a long time, you simply have no more left in you. Now you’re just exhausted. The apex of your legs felt like it was on fire three orgasms ago and now you’re at a grand total of eight - four from each of them.

They can be utterly petty when it comes down to brass tacks. Your boys started getting under each other’s skin over something small, which turned into an argument, which turned into something they wanted to rope you into. And that became “which first time did you prefer?”

You cannot answer that question. To compare them is to compare apples to oranges, and you want a whole fruit salad. Making love to them both is so utterly different you couldn’t begin to pull at threads because it’s always better together.

They didn’t accept that answer, though. So they took you to bed.

They’ve taken turns fucking you. You’re so full of come there’s no chance of it staying inside you, now. Your hole is fucked-out and pliant, your lovers’ spend dripping from it in a sinful cocktail. Their mouths, fingers, cocks, cunts - all of them have made you come as they shift into whatever the next challenge is.

You’re boneless. You’re exhausted. You’re sure you’ve been taken in every possible way on this bed, all angles, all positions, and you can’t do it any more. You’re not certain if it was Aziraphale holding you up against the wall and pistoning into you that did it, that sex-filled slap of skin on skin; or if it was Crowley pressing his pussy down onto your face while he took deep mouthfuls of your sex which definitely already tasted like both him and the angel.

As Aziraphale moves to put his hand between your legs one more time you hiss and push him away. He immediately retreats.

“Darling?”

“No more!” you cry, throat raw from fucking and moaning. “No more. I’m done.”

And then you can cry again, and suddenly they’re either side of you, not to rut but to comfort. Aziraphale catches your hand and presses soft, feather-light kisses to it, Crowley caressing your face. A glass of water is summoned and they help you drink it, a cold washcloth pressed to your sex. You hiss and then relax as it begins to cool you down.

“We’re sorry, nightingale,” Crowley whispers, yellow eyes full of concern and care. You wave it off.

“Don’t apologise to me. I’ll be fine. Apologise to each other for being so silly. If you’re going to give me eight orgasms again I’d much prefer they were collaborative,” you say, laughing huskily. And it’s true. All is forgiven on your part; if you tap out they’ll listen. Crowley and Aziraphale lock eyes across the plains of you, the remnants of their lovemaking.

“I’m sorry, angel.”

“I’m sorry, Crowley.”

They kiss, long and slow and sincere, and you smile.

“There we go,” you hum, bringing them both to your chest to hold them tightly. “I like fruit salad.”

“What?”

“Mmm, nothing.”

@bootlmoth @elleofdragons  @angelic-anarchy27 @yeethaw13 @candlewitch-cryptic @kwyn-q @rat-that-writes @buryustogether @letthenightingalessingagain @ltlthetrifecta @angiestopit @purplefrog1sblog @wereallbrokenangels @angelspathway @clarina04 @belilwen @chaospossum @eightsdoctor @oo-delallymrcrow @silcosmoke @climbingivy97 @live-logs-and-proper @project-sad @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @imagination-phantom @anonymously35 @corgis04 @peytonpenguin37 @catlynharper @unabashedgentlemenpirate @wolfe-houler @darktealrat @mxxny-lupin @willbedecided @detectiveapparatiagreen @shadowluna25 @kaylinelizabeth4004 @xquinn-bartonx @blue-bell22 @foolishprincipalitee @fandomawesomeness @eweweweewewe @latersgaters-steven @llamaproblem @night-affiliate @randompost18 @hunterispunk @jessica-laufeysdottir @uxcaran @bunnymallowo @jae-michael @jelly-terror @larkiesparkie

[antianakin]

Just realized that Ahsoka saying Anakin never got to finish her training because she WALKED AWAY is SO SO FUNNY because babe, no, I'm sorry, the reason he never got to finish your training is because he decided to commit a whole ass genocide and become a Sith, so completing your training just wasn't an option anymore. Did you just conveniently forget that when you told him you'd stay with him no matter what that his response was "then you will die"?

Ahsoka walking away in The Wrong Jedi arc presumably will have exactly zero similarities to why she walks away from Sabine. In TCW, she walks away from the Order because she's been through a trauma that means she no longer trusts herself to understand how to make the right decisions and that's a massively dangerous problem to have as a Jedi normally, let alone in the middle of a galactic civil war. So she makes the RIGHT CHOICE to step away in order to get her head on straight rather than put other people at risk. With Sabine, the implication seems to be that Ahsoka was just being cowardly or selfish by walking away, that she gives up on Sabine and is WRONG for having done so.

Leaving the Order has shit all to do with Anakin, she isn't leaving ANAKIN specifically, she's just acknowledging that she can't take up the responsibilities of being a Jedi at that moment and that HAPPENS to have the consequence of meaning she can't be Anakin's Padawan anymore. Anakin takes it PERSONALLY, sure, but that doesn't actually mean that it IS. Whereas leaving Sabine seems to at least have something to do with Sabine herself and Ahsoka's reluctance to train Sabine specifically for some reason.

This is like comparing apples and oranges. They might both be round fruits, but that's about where the similarities end.

[dykedvonte]

I really do like character design in mouthwashing

Anya is obvi inspired by Shelley Duval (who was also verbally abused by Cubric, if I recall correctly), the Shining protagonist. Curly is your typical captain America style charismatic leader, he is even canonically a gym bro (although I recall you mentioning that if Curly's pre-crash face wasn't revealed, you would've headcanoned him as black, so I am a bit curios, what his dynamic w/ Jimmy would've been. Like, I think this little piece of sht would be casually racist towards him, he is just that sort of asshole. If the story was set at our times he would've def vote for Trump and complain abt immigrants eating dogs or something equally rediculous lol. Also, his dynamic w/ Anya - being marginalised himself would've he been harder on Jimbo's bullshit? Or would that not matter at all in their particular situation? So many possibilities.)

Daisuke is a bright spot in an otherwise dull and grey space. Swansea is simply perfect, 10/10😁

-💀

I don’t think Jimmy would be racist towards Curly or anyone for that matter.

Like I don’t see Jimmy as a misanthrope. He’s not hateful just to be hateful, he’s spiteful. All of his envy and resentment of others comes from his own projection of shared aspects he feels inferior by. I think the biggest difference is it adds a little more ire to Jimmy’s sentiments as it takes away an easy aspect of Curly’s life. I assume Mouthwashing operates in a similar social history and structure as our world so Curly likely faced prejudices based on his race in this scenario. He had something extra outside of his control weighing him down and yet he still reached that highest rung.

For Jimmy it’s infuriating. It feeds that delusion that Curly has it so much easier, that he doesn’t have to do the real work to get to that space. He should’ve struggled more, he should be more bitter but he isn’t. He’s not like him still and he’s pissed about it. He still wouldn’t understand the underlying and systemic issues Curly would’ve faced cause he can’t. He wouldn’t try to because in doing that it’s an admission he’s just not trying like Curly is. Any comments that could be seen as racist are less targeted at Curly’s ethnicity but just at him. Jimmy’s issues are with Curly as a whole, being so idealic compared to him and everything around him. It’s not just one facet of him physically, mentally or emotionally that makes Jimmy so envious. It’s why he’s obsessed, it everything about him.

As for Anya, this is no anger toward you, but there’s this perception in fandom spaces with intersectionality that sharing a minority status creates an equal understanding of what exact struggles the others go through. You can understand the feeling of oppression but certain aspects of certain systems will still be misunderstood if they don’t apply to you. Curly is still a man and Anya a woman. Perhaps she is a woman of color, it think he may have been a bit harsher to Jimmy as he would be aware of the racial factors at play when it comes to the dehumanization and sexism perpetrated towards WOC but he still wouldn’t get it as a man.

It’s like apples and oranges to where they are both fruit but being categorically the same doesn’t make them identical. I can not describe to you the taste of an apple by using an orange. Anya would no more understand Curly’s struggles being black than he would her being the only woman on board. Of course they share the similarity of being the only one but even in this case we do work off the assumption everybody but Daisuke is white. He’d inherently have more solidarity with him on that aspect than her.

[salmonpiffy]

Apple of my eyes - God of War

I wrote the fanfic! AAAAAAAAAAAAA 

English isn’t my first language but I had tried my best to translate it as good as possible (Thanks to Google Translate, Quillbot and my own English skills)

Idk which part will have a weird grammar but you know what? I’ll take a risk XD

I don’t have Ao3 account yet, so I’ll just post on here first. Enjoy!

“Shall we go out tomorrow?”

Kratos, who was sewing a sack, looked up at the owner of the voice.

Faye was sitting opposite him, looking out the window. The two were resting in a hut they had built a few years ago. The firelight illuminated her orange hair and blue eyes.

“The snow has melted. I wanna pick some fruit near the Lower Wildwoods.” Faye spoke again, after looking out of the window for a while, she turned her head to look at him. Midgard has been buried in winter for the past several weeks. Although there is rarely a heavy storm this time, they both started to feel relieved (Especially Faye) when this gloomy weather finally ended.

“What fruit are you going to collect?” Kratos asked.

“Apples, and checking around there to see if there is any problem. I hope no more trolls come in.” Faye replied.

“Hm” Kratos hum softly.

The woman turned to look outside the window again and sighed.

“By the way, I haven't eaten an apple for a while. Miss the sweet taste of it already.” She smiled at the thought of the fruit.

Kratos didn't answer. His amber eyes still looked at her. Every time he saw Faye smiling or laughing his heart always swelled up. He looked at her for a moment before hurriedly pulling himself back down and continuing to sew the sack. He decided to continue the conversation.

“Speaking of apples… There are stories about apples in my land.”

Faye turned to look again with interest. Kratos continued

“It was The Golden Apple. The legendary fruit that caused the fight between the goddesses until the prince of Troy had to choose who is the fairest one. After deciding the winner, that triggered a war between cities.”

“That…sounds like a mess.” Faye said

Kratos nodded in agreement

“Besides that. People believe that apples represent love. If they like someone, they will throw it to that person as a sign of love.”

“They’re really flirting like that?” Faye asked, sounds surprised

“Yes”

“That’s adorable”

“Hm” Kratos often grunted as the two talked. Sometimes Faye finds it amusing.

“Well, we have a story about the Golden Apples in this land too but mine is now boring when compared to yours” Faye chuckled.

“And what about yours, Faye?” Kratos asked

“Nothing’s very big” She shrugged 

“You are good at telling stories. Listening to your voice would help me concentrate on repairing this”

Faye smiled softly

“Alright, Grumbles”

They sat there, telling their story and talking until the sun almost went down.

----

In the next morning, they both went to the Lower Wildwoods. After checking that there are no intruders. Both of them took a boat to another place which is not very far away. They arrived at the dock for a short time.

“Are you certain there will be apples to pick today?” Kratos asked as the boat docked. Faye nodded confidently.

“I've been here many times. Of course there must be.” She picked up the basket and walked onto the deck and led him to the forest.

After a long winter, the forest that had been covered with white snow began to change.The white of the birch trunks contrasts with the warm orange sun and the slightly snowy ground. From a cold wind to a light breeze. Since Faye loved this atmosphere, it was easy for him to notice because she looked energetic right now.

They walked for a while until they reached the destination. Most of the trees in this forest were birch or fir, but here there were a few apple trees. Each tree has a big red apple. hanging on many branches. Faye reached out and pulled an apple to inspect its condition before nodding and showing Kratos the fruit in his hand.

“Looking good!” she said happily.

Kratos grunt in replied

“Pick at least five of them, alright? This will be our dinner.”

Faye put the first apple in the basket before turning around and continuing to look for more apples. Kratos helped find them too. He stared for a moment before pulling out one apple to take a look. This one seems good enough to keep

Kratos turned to Faye but instead called her. He stopped

With an apple in his hand, He wanted to try it but hesitated a little…he hadn't flirted with anyone for decades. After all, this land was not Greece, might this action seem too strange for her?

…But then he chose to try.

“Faye”

“Yes?”

The moment Faye turned around, a big apple flew toward her.

“!!!!”

She managed to catch the apple.

Faye looked at the fruit in her hand, confused before looking up at the man standing before her.

Kratos's face, from where his eyebrows were frowned all the time, now had both eyebrows slightly raised, as if he looked relieved.

“You threw it to me?” Faye asked.

“...Yes,” he replied, she could feel a tiny shyness in his voice.

“You don’t have to throw like that. It might-” Faye stopped because she realized something.

“Apples represent love. If they like someone, they will throw it to that person as a sign of love.”

Wait, is that mean...

Faye looked at the apple and looked at him again before burst out laughing. He actually was flirting with her!

“You!” Faye exclaimed. Her face turned red as she laughed.

“I just… wanted to try.” Kratos said..

When Faye stopped laughing Kratos approached and slowly raised one of his hands to touch her hand that was holding the apple, but didn't say anything.

“Kratos?”

“I am sorry, I had startled you,” Kratos said softly. Faye sighed.

“You don't have to apologize.” Faye replied, still smiling.

“I forgot to tell you that if the other person can catch the apple, it means that they had accepted the love confession”

“And I caught it”

"Yes"

Suddenly, Faye leaned forward and kissed him. His amber eyes widened. For a quick moment, their lips parted.

“I like it” she whispered. His pale cheeks slowly turned red. Even though this was a short kiss, he could still feel the other's soft lips. 

“You caught well” Kratos complimented.

“If the mighty warrior gets hit in the face with an apple, it would be very embarrassing, wouldn't it?” Faye teased.

Kratos chuckled lightly. This rare reaction made her smiled more brightly.

"Thank you for the apple, Kratos. This one is beautiful."

“Hm”

At this moment, the sunlight shone on the woman's face, brightening her orange hair and eyes as blue as the sea. Her flushed cheeks made her look more beautiful than the apple in her hand.

The former god of war's heart swelled again.

When the evening came, they both ate the apple together. It was just as sweet as Faye said.

[spacelazarwolf]

I'm just fucking horrified by this entire conversation. How do these people not understand that the holocaust was a specific thing. It's just so BIZARRE to me. It's like people are going around saying the Rwandan genocide is happening again or something. Like...no? It's not the holocaust?? It's genocide, obviously, but it's not the holocaust and the multiple partially successful genocides against Jewish people that have occurred is still different from queer genocide. Queer culture can rebuild, and has MANY times, because we will always be here... I'm gobsmacked and, frankly, disappointed at Vapspider's response. Its like... dude.... the complete genocide of an ethnic group is SO SO SO different from the genocide of queer people... this whole conversation is just bizarre. It feels like you're saying "hey while apples and oranges are both fruit, they are different" and people are crawling out of the wood work to say "oh so you hate apples? You think all apples suck and are meat? I can't believe this person thinks apples are meat!" It's like, pls learn reading comprehension people, wtf.

yeah it’s just so fucking exhausting, especially as the descendant of survivors of ethnic cleansing. like. it’s just not the same. and that’s okay. not everything has to be 1:1 and this obsession with comparing jews to other minorities is just fucking bonkers. i’m tired of the holocaust fetishizing, i’m tired of the lectures from white queer people, i’m tired!!!!!!

[psychewritesbs]

I was reading your post about the megumi character trope and this is related but not?

Anyways, as someone who likes both sasuke and megumi, and I've come to like sasuke recently as I've finally checked out naruto, but it's bizarre to me how superficial their similarities are and it's crazier how people reduce their characters to their aloofness or dar hair or things like that and use that as a way to judge a character overall when their character arcs are so different imo. I have issues with how sasuke's character was handled in the story, but I've become very fond of the things he did for the story overall, so no problem for me, but I'm not sure megumi's arc will end or proceed any similiar to sasuke's with revenge as the main motivation, or at least I don't think so, I'm a couple chaps behind, but yeah, the way both characters process their own trauma or how their motivations are different enough for me to ignore the superficial ways in which they are similiar

I say it's also tough liking both in fandom spaces because naruto is still really popular and jjk is in the spotlight currently, so fandoms can be tense with each other and it's exhausting to see the slander going every which way lol

They say this as a way to slander mgm, but the "Megumi will never be sasuke" is funny because I don't think he's trying to be???

HOLA!

WELCOME to THE ULTIMATE SHONEN BATTLE FOR THE BEST "QUIET AND ALOOF DEUTERAGONIST-KUN": MEGUMI VS SASUKE!

Who's better? Well... let's ask the internet...

ok nvm. NEVER ask the internet for an opinion. ESPECIALLY when the Naruto fans who think Kishimoto is the mother of all anime tropes get involved.

This isn't even a question of whether Gege took inspiration from Sasuke for Megumi because 1) Sasuke himself takes inspiration from a Togashi character and, 2) "quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun" is one of the most prevalent tropes in animanga--the trope is not even unique to shonen, hell even the 3-man team isn't unique to Naruto.

Nothing against Kishi but... he's doing the same thing every mangaka or author EVER has done--copying tropes.

At least Gege subverts them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut because I have many words to vomit about the topic.

Also... man, this is a fantastic conversation to have because, based on the comments I've seen about why Sasuke is "objectively" better, I feel like it comes back to a lack of introspection, dare I say toxic masculinity (?), and perhaps just not understanding or relating to Megumi as a character.

I've written before about Megumi's character development and how relating to him has a lot to do with how deeply you can be introspective about yourself. I won't address character development much here, so if you want to, you can read that post here.

But when it comes to Megumi vs. Sasuke, it's almost like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they're both fruit (quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun), AND they also have a different flavor profile, different texture, different scent... the list goes on.

And the way I see it, if someone can't see how the differences between Sasuke and Megumi make them fundamentally different despite sharing the same trope, then they can't "objectively" claim one is better than the other.

So I'm going to go ahead and just say it.

I don't like Sasuke. I never did and I never understood why he was so popular.

The comments about Megumi having the depth of a kiddie pool?

I feel the exact same about Sasuke.

I literally can't think of much to say about him other than he was pissy and had a sour attitude the whole time... umm... he wanted revenge and power... ? I guess?

And you know what? It's perfectly ok that I don't like Sasuke because my subjective opinion does not mean that someone who loves Sasuke is wrong about loving him. After all, my opinion should not be a measuring stick for someone who loves Sasuke.

In fact, I have moots who think very highly of Sasuke AND Megumi, and like them for different reasons. So I actually try to refrain from speaking negatively of Sasuke because I respect my moot's opinions and know that perhaps I am not seeing something they can.

That said, when we compare Sasuke and Megumi, we're measuring the characters against standards that don't apply to either of them.

Since Sasuke is on a revenge character arc, you can't really talk about how he explores his sense of self in order to re-define it (which is one of the main reasons I love Megumi). Sasuke wants power, but that just means he has to train harder.

Megumi does go the training route, but in the end, perhaps it was a moment of clarity and introspection that helped him level up, not just the physical training.

Likewise, since Megumi is on an arc meant to re-define his sense of self, you can't really talk about how he went about seeking power to reach his goal because Megumi is not interested in power for the sake of power, and/or does not have grandiose aspirations.

As you say, their motivations couldn't be more different.

Now, I think it bears repeating that when I started watching jjk, even though I liked him right from the beginning, I thought Megumi was underwhelming af given his trope.

But that's only because, again, I was measuring Megumi against the wrong standards.

In retrospect, I also do feel like Gege wanted Megumi to be perceived as "underwhelming given his trope" (MOST ESPECIALLY SASUKE imo), otherwise the payoff in chapter 58 would not have had the same impact.

So anyways.

To your point. Existing at the intersection of these two fandoms must be an interesting experience because most of the bad comparisons are rooted on surface level similarities.

Thing is, being able to see the nuance between the two characters and why neither is objectively better than the other, does require the ability to read below the surface AND to at least have a certain degree of emotional investment in the story and the characters.

Also, can I just say fandom wars are so pointless?

It's just a bunch of people who can't handle the idea that other people could have a different opinion because they see their opinion as the ultimate truth.

And don't let me act like I'm not the kind of pretentious asshat who will say something like "Megumi is a purposeful deconstruction but Aki is a copy" because I can be quite elitist myself. I just also don't take my opinion too seriously because I know I don't own the ultimate truth about what is and isn't good media.

Also I like to indulge in trash tv like every normal human being in this planet so that alone makes my taste questionable.

To that point, I saw a really good quote that is so relevant to your ask:

The price for certainty means that other people must be wrong. And that leads to holy war.

Lionel Corbett

"uwu Megumi is weak"

But... there's something that has been nagging me about why people don't like Megumi in general that is highly related to how his predecessors, Sasuke included, set the bar we use to measure the trope, most specifically in Battle Shonen.

And that's that the way me measure what makes Megumi a good character is based on toxic masculinity values.

Now... I'm not an expert on the topic, so please correct me if I'm wrong or need to expand my perspective here but...

There's something inherently "toxic" about how people are approaching both Megumi independently of Sasuke, and Megumi compared to Sasuke.

Like... if Sasuke wouldn't curl up in a ball because he's had to experience a traumatic event and instead just keeps on going, that's called repression and/or suppression and it's both not a healthy coping mechanism AND not realistically written.

So what if Sasuke would never?

Why is it wrong for a character (or a real human for that matter) to feel so defeated after the trauma they've had to face?

I am more interested in learning why we are so obsessed with looking down on a fictional character for feeling down on himself... like, Momo, are you ok, dude?

Do you ever allow yourself to feel all your feels or do you just berate yourself when you feel down on yourself?

And why are we measuring trauma on a scale of who has it worse just so that we can cancel someone else's trauma?

Actually, the fact that we can sit here and talk about who has it best and who has it worse like it's a competition?

That's gaslighting, and it's toxic af.

But again. The problem is that jjk fans themselves hate on Megumi independently of whether they compare him to Sasuke or not.

And I'm not sure whether kin here just has shitty reading comprehension skills, but...

I'm noticing a trend that has EVERYTHING to do with my female gaze and it's the fact that I kind of don't give a fuck about power scaling.

Like, it's cool. I'm not hating on people who do, you know. I'm just saying I don't care for it. But what I'm trying to say here is that people hate on Megumi for weird reasons...

Like... I don't think Hyena here is reading the same manga if he can't tell that Megumi has had character development, unless what he expects in terms of character development is...

Which is fine too... I loved dbz back in the day.

Who could ever forget Goku looking like he has to poop so bad his hair grows really long?

But like... are we fucking for real? JJK is far too nuanced to limit your experience of the manga to flashy fights and power ups only.

Again, if this is the standard we are using to measure Megumi as a character, no wonder people are disappointed.

So I say let them eat cake.

No shade to all of the people who I screenshotted here, but they're going to have to come up with smarter arguments to back up their subjective opinions about Sasuke's supposed objective superiority and why Megumi sucks.

In all honesty, the fact that Megumi is perceived as weak strikes me as toxic masculinity.

I get that some people read fiction to escape from their daily lives and not have to face the failures and successes they experience in the real world, but I personally want more human characters who fail and cry because that's more relatable to me than Goku's super powered instinct Saiyan form or whatever its called.

I guess we all read for different reasons. All I'm saying is "don't hate on Megumi for shortsighted reasons."

To bring it back to where it all started, let's be real here:

Megumi will NEVER be Sasuke

and that is fantastic news because Megumi is Megumi and that's exactly why we love him.

Dear anon, I think I went on a rant there hahahaha.

BAH! I just get so annoyed when people hate on Megumi for shallow reasons. Like, if you don't like him, you don't like him and that's that. But like some of the comments about him are just...

LOL!

Thank you for stopping by anon!

[kiwisandpearls]

honestly, looking back at my original post about fiction being used to groom minors, I stand by what I say but to be honest I am still so frustrated at the equation of me arguing that any fiction can be used to groom minors so the argument that some problematic fiction isn’t ok because it can do so is flawed to anti-gun control laws.

like, I can see why they’d argue that but it still super flawed. Fiction can be used to harm others but unlike guns that’s not its intended purpose. Guns are literally made to kill and injure. Fiction is not. It can be used by others to cause harm but unlike guns that’s not its intended purpose.

You could maybe argue some have made fiction in order to harm others but even then on its own and as a whole that’s not what most people make fiction for.

idk it’s such a flawed argument to try and equate people pointing out that any fiction can be used to groom minors to anti-gun control arguments when fiction and guns aren’t even made for the same purpose. It’s like comparing apples to oranges, they’re both fruits, but at the end of the day they’re still two different fruits.

[stranger-rants]

I need people to understand that billy and jonathans situations arent the same. Yeah they were both abused but jonathan wasnt actively living with his abuser or being neglected by the time the show came around.

And while yeah he was being parentified to an extent, he wasnt having to watch after will 24/7 nor was he at fault for wills actions. Billy was so controlling over max because whatever she did influenced whether or not he got abused.

Billy had no support system, especially not after being moved 2000 miles away from everybody he knows. Jonathan had a mom who cared about him and protected him and got their abuser out of the picture.

There are tons of parallels and similarities between their situations but it isnt fair to act like they were the same.

Just like apples and oranges are both fruits, but taste vastly different... we can acknowledge that Jonathan and Billy both had abusive dads, but also understand that these experiences were not the same. At all. It's ridiculous to even compare the two in this manner.

[polyamorousmood]

Hello, it's 'just got into a poly relationship' anon. (Might go off anon next time.) But anyways, it's really interesting how having two partners makes it so much easier to discern what exactly I enjoy about them both, making me love them even more. My long time partner is super chill, easy going and a soothing presence. My newest partner is very passionate about everything, excitable, and while can be subdued, is usually vibrant and high energy. I love this, I love both of them a lot and what they bring to the table. nd knowing what makes them both special makes me love them both even more. Funny how that works.

If you stay on anon you gotta at least pick a more concise pen name 😂

I agree! Its amazing! Its interesting because people are often worried about being compared to others, but at least for me personally it really just highlights the best parts of each. 😊🥰

To me, its not comparing as in "X is better than Y at this thing I like", but more "X enriches these experiences, while Y enriches those aspects." Apples 🍎 to oranges 🍊in that I evaluate them on different metrics, but you can still say "citrus is better suited for this", you know? And realizing that not every fruit should be covered in chocolate does make me appreciate chocolate covered orange slices more.

Anyway. Same hat, I love you, keep coming back 💖

[disabledweedreviews]

MY DISABLED REVIEW OF: Tyson 2.0 Mike Bites Delta-8 Gummies | 500mg Per Bag/25mg Per Piece

Hi everyone! This is my first review, so I'm still ironing out the kinks of how I want these to look. There's an image description attached to the image, though if unavailable to see, it reads "A bright orange resealable bag of Mike Tyson edibles is pictured. There is a large black and white illustration of an ear, with a shape at the top of the cartilage of a bite mark taken out of the ear. The large text reads "TYSON. MIKE BITES. (Δ8) (THC)" while the small text on the bottom reads "25mg Delta 8 Hemp Derived THC per gummy." The flavor reads as "SOUR APPLE PUNCH."

First of all. Props to Mike Tyson for biting off Holyfield's ear in the 90s in an insane move that, at first, everybody was mad about because it meant the match ended super early and they wanted their money back for the full match. Especially pay-per-view watchers. But then years later everybody makes jokes about it so now it's like. His brand for weedibles. Imagine you're Holyfield and your ear is bitten off, and the dude who bit off your ear has it as his logo for ear shaped edibles 20 yrs later. Objectively funny. Now to get into the review!

TASTE: ★★☆☆☆ (2/5)

They taste like. Ehhhhh. Ok. Fine but Kinda Bad. The best flavor imo is the one pictured, Sour Apple Punch. The other flavors are Watermelon and Black Eye Cherry. They both taste like Shit and have effects that actually make me feel worse. They are all REALLY slimy though, not just in texture but like. they have so much SLIME GOOP everywhere in the bag like every time I get these. So for the autism slime texture haters, this one is already NOT for you. Autism slime texture lovers however? Perfect. Though be warned, it is REALLY sticky. Stickier than most edibles. Sticky as in you can throw it at a wall and it'd stay there all day. It gets everywhere, so if you don't want to wash your hands of a goop mess after reaching in the bag, use a kitchen utensil👍

FOR PAIN: ★★★☆☆ (3/5)

OVERALL BODY EFFECTS: ★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)

Overall decent. Breakdowns below.

Helps the pain a pretty good chunk, though if the pain is pretty intense then it merely softens everything. The body relaxation will make you feel all loosey-goosey like a wet noodle, except not unpleasant. Works really well for my all around back pain. and my muscle cramps. Doesn't work too well, however, for head pain (ironically enough) or for other areas of the body. So migraine havers should probably look elsewhere.

FOR SLEEP: ★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5)

These will knock your ass out if you take more than one, however. You do need to take more than one for sleep, depending on your tolerance. The sleep is pretty nice, very decent on these. Though I don't recommend falling asleep high to the Mike Bites because they give me weird dreams. My roommates don't get this, however. So it could be a me only thing...

FOR APPETITE: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Works decently well, especially in a pinch! My appetite is the first thing to start working on these, then come the sillies, and then the pain relief. I usually have to smoke a few hits of a dab cart to Really get my stomach full hands on deck for appetite, though it certainly does most of the work.

HIGH: ★★★☆☆ (3/5)

The high is decently pleasant, almost like a really soft buzzing that eventually replaces the pain. I get pretty silly on these, it's a Silly Weedible. Will get me to laugh at the worst low hanging fruit that other edibles DO NOT do to me. It's a pretty even combination of head high and body high, though I usually feel the body high more on these. Great for winding down before bed, as the high does not last too long, which is honestly my biggest complaint about the high for these. Like I know they're 25mg a piece, but they're not as long lasting as compared to others, such as the Urb 25mg delta-8 edibles. Other complaint is afterwards they leave me feeling foggier brained than most other brands of edibles.

PRICE: ★★★★★ (5/5)

They usually go anywhere from $20-30 USD. Can be found at convenience stores, dispos, or online. Here's The Link To Buy Them From My Favorite WebbedSite and they're on sale at the time of writing this, March 28th, 2024. Also I am Not Sponsored.

OVERALL RATING AND SUMMARY: ★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)

NOW TIME FOR A POLL!

Ultimately, I like them. They're not too expensive and work pretty well for their price, if you find them on the cheaper side of the pricetag scale. Not the fanciest by far, though they do the job nicely! I would recommend them if you mostly need the appetite and/or silly boost.

Feel free to reply with any anecdotes in the reblogs or replies of your experience with these if you're also disabled! Specific questions? Reblog or reply as well. Or send me an ask or DM!

[mossbark]

You are defining "gender affirming care" and "care trans people receive" and the people on the post are defining it as "care which is sought out and used to affirm one's gender".

You are correct that Viagra and HRT for menopausal cis woman are not medically exactly equivalent to HRT for trans people, but that is not the point being argued. The point being argued is that cis people also take medical actions that are primarily to make them feel better in their gender.

It is similar to the common point that a cis woman with a moustache who does laser hair removal for it is doing so because a moustache does not fit her idea of her own gender presentation; this is the same reason a trans woman might get laser hair removal.

"The point being argued is that cis people also take medical actions that are primarily to make them feel better in their gender."

The point I am actually making is that cis people are not taking Viagra or estrogen to primarily affirm their gender. They are taking them to correct symptoms of physiological dysfunction. This isn't a hard distinction to grasp.

"I can't maintain an erection, which makes sexual intimacy difficult if not impossible. (And/or) I also have concerns about high blood pressure." Viagra.

"I am suffering from fatigue, hot flashes, hair loss, osteoporosis, insomnia, unstable mood, and pain during sexual intercourse due to my body's natural hormonal cycle being discontinued as I age." Estrogen for menopause. Also, for what it's worth, there are numerous physiological risks associated with being estrogen-deficient long-term, including an increased risk of dementia.

I think it is utterly out of touch, and uncompassionate, to completely ignore all these symptoms so these treatments can be framed as being about gender identity instead of physical day-to-day functioning. Again, I cannot overstate, I am in favor of gender-affirming therapies for those who want them, but it is crucial to understand why it isn't fair, accurate, or helpful to declare apples are really oranges because they're both round fruits. Overlap can exist between treatment outcomes, but that doesn't make the treatment the same.

While I agree cis women, trans women, and anyone else who gets LHR (edit: Lazer hair Removal) likely do so for the same reasons, you're again comparing apples to oranges by saying medical intervention is similar to a cosmetic procedure. You can also get into a discussion that goes beyond the scope of this conversation about drawing the line between personal aesthetic and gender presentation, which I would argue is what most cis people are actually experiencing in these given contexts as opposed to gender dysphoria. A woman who feels ugly because her skin is wrinkling and her hair is falling out is experiencing body dysmorphia, a diagnostic category that can overlap with gender dysphoria, but also includes eating disorders. If this same women declared she felt like less of a woman because she doesn't feel beautiful, you should probably have the empathy to understand she isn't declaring she doesn't truly feel misaligned with her gender identity, but is lamenting her appearance. These are fundamentally different experiences that due to the limitations of language, may be expressed verbally in similar ways. Also, I think the discomfort *most* presented in the initial argument is wildly overstated.

My biggest contention with everyone who has engaged with my perspective is that they are prioritizing gender expression, which is reflective of their own lived experiences, over the realities of these given diagnoses. It amounts to speaking over the lived experience of patients. To put it in perspective for you, how does this argument break down if a trans woman has ED, but wants to have PIV sex with her partner? What if a transgender man, who realized his identity later in life and does not want to seek transition, suffers from osteoporosis after entering menopause, and opts for estrogen therapy to reduce bone loss? In these situations, the argument breaks down and is no longer about affirming gender. The ultimate point I am making, simply put, is that treatments meant to restore bodily function are not the same as gender-affirming care because of coincidental overlap. The targeted symptoms are different, and it is a blatant misrepresentation to claim that cis people seek out these treatments primarily to feel better aligned with their gender.

Its popular on this website to demonize the fields of psychology and psychiatry, because I suppose they can feel restrictive to people who are untrained and uneducated on why we abide by the DSM and other treatment guidelines. This conversation is a perfect example of why it requires a master's or above to even get a job in the field. It requires critical thinking, good judgement, scientific integrity, and a solid understanding to tease out the nuances of why one diagnosis over another. I think it has become common to assume bigotry is at the root of every distinction, and sometimes it is, but this particular subject is not one to take at face value.

Hopefully this clarifies why I think this conversation is getting redundant, because at the end of the day, it's an argument the OP admitted is based on their personal politics and desire to push social boundaries rather than an understanding of how the human body works.

TL;DR not everything is the same and it doesn't have to be.

[touyubesposts]

Can I ask for your opinion on people comparing sanders sides to iris/Jacksepticeye’s egos when it comes to the wait time and how the stories have been handled? I’ve seen some discussion on people comparing both from that angle, and would be curious to know if you have any thoughts on that.

Btw I understand if you choose to ignore this ask since it does involve criticism stuff. Just would like to get perspective on this from someone who knows both a lot better (I am not super familiar with jse myself but I have been in the tss fandom for a while).

Hope you have a good day regardless!

Thank you, I hope you have a good day as well!

And yeah, I’ll talk about this a bit. As long as this is coming from a view to discuss and think reasonably and rationally and not a view of pure, burning, blind rage just cause. (Also, this is going to be long because I have a lot to say)

Personally, I have no problem with the wait from either creator. I can consume other forms of media for the time being. I enjoy their content greatly, and I dabble in artworks and fanfictions while I wait, but I’m not reliant. And it's not like these people are creating nothing. They still have other stuff for us to enjoy. Like Jack’s gaming content or Thomas’s shorts or videos with Sleep or the star signs or the planets. Hell, Thomas is working on a video for Picani right now!

Also, people don’t realize that these things take a long time. They both have to go to places, set up equipment, record multiple takes, and repeat since both of them deal with multiple characters. And then the whole thing has to be spliced together and edited to make a coherent story. And of course, Thomas is going to take longer because he’s doing more. Yes, Jack has to add glitchy effects to his editing, but Thomas is literally making music for us to consume and enjoy. Do you know how long it takes to make music? That adds more writing, more editing, background music production, and more recording on top of the stuff he already has to do.

And both come from small teams of people with a lot of things to do, so it's going to be expected when things take a while to come out.

The stories, on the other hand, I find a weird thing to compare (if they are being compared, I haven’t seen anything since I blocked the tag.) They are completely different genres after all. Thomas’s series is supposed to be more feel-good mental health help, with a hint of drama. (That, naturally, is gonna take more research.) Jack is making an analog horror. Things are going to be different. Also, Jack is just starting his series! He had to pause production because of COVID and just finished his video with Chase that he wanted to finish in 2019! We shouldn’t compare apples to oranges, but we definitely shouldn’t compare when one of the fruit isn’t even ripe yet.

Lastly, I find it weird to compare these people at all. Why? Because they’re people. It's like not going to college and then your mom going “Your brother went to college, you know.” We shouldn’t compare Thomas to Sean because Thomas isn’t Sean. People go at things at their own pace. People have their own personal struggles to deal with. And these people are people, not a content farm for you to throw your rotten tomatoes at whenever you feel.

And I’m not saying you have to like these people, I just think other factors go into both series that people don’t consider. Like personal struggles or where they live. (Not to get political, but Florida is kinda a shithole right now. Stay safe if you live in that part ❤️)

But yeah, sorry if this was long, these are my feelings on the matter.

(Also, if you want to compare, Markiplier made a movie, so 🤷 /j)

[siren-darkocean]

Ninth Grade Samurai aka Samurai Series Incorrect Quotes

Of books:

Ninth Grade Samurai (Book 1)

Phoenix Song (Book 2)

Curtain Call (Book 3)

Nothing is accurate to canon y'all it's an AU!

Howard: This blood line ends with me!

Randy: That's the fanciest way I've heard someone say "I'm gay".

**

Heidi: (with finding herself in the middle of the Ninja and Samurai fights against the Sorcerer and McFist) I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.

**

Howard: What did you order this morning?

Rei: What do you mean?

Howard: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.

**

Rei: Comparing Howard and Randy is like comparing apples and oranges.

Howard: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Rei: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Randy: Which one of us is the orange?

**

Randy: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.

Julian: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.

Randy: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.

Heidi: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.

Howard: Looks like someone's a HO.

Julian: NaBrO.

Rei: I'm done with all of you!

**

Rei: State your name, rank, and intention.

Randy: Randy, Randy, fun.

**

Heidi: Randy, you'll be working with Julian and Rei.

Randy: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Randy: ...Of people on a team.

**

Howard: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Randy: Milfs.

Rei: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Heidi: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Heidi: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Randy: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Rei: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Rei: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Heidi: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Julian: What? No! It isn't!

Heidi: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Howard: Heidi...

Heidi: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Howardy: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Heidi: HOWARD, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Howard: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Julian: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Rei: Y'all are dumbasses.

**

Randy i and Howard: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*

Julian:

Rei, exasperatedly: We have a guest.

**

Heidi: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Rei: *looks over at Howard and Julian* Rei: Is it “sexual tension”?

**

Julian: Where’s my chair?

Rei: Randy broke it over Howard’s back while they were wrestling.

Howard: Correction, Randy was wrestling. I was eating soup.

**

Julian: Hah! 69! you know what that means?

Randy: What?

Rei: That you're a child.

Howard: HOW YOU GUESS MY IQ?!?

**

Heidi: What are you getting Howard for the holidays?

Julian: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Rei: I'm getting Howard a divorce lawyer.

**

Heidi: I told Howard to grab snacks for everyone.

Rei, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Julian, Howard, and Randy raise their hands*

**

Rei: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Randy: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Howard: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Julian: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

**

Julian: *about Rei and Randy* They make a cute couple, huh?

Howard: They certainly are standing next to each other.

**

Heidi: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Julian: I sleep with a knife.

Randy: Both of you are pathetic.

Heidi: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Randy: Rei.

**

Rei: *does 99% of the work*

Randy: *has no idea what’s going on*

Julian: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Howard: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

**

Heidi: Why are your tongues purple?

Rei: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Randy: I had a red one.

Heidi: oh.

Heidi:

Heidi: OH.

Howard:

Howard: You drank eachothers slushies?

**

Post curtain call ig

Julian: Why is Rei crying on the floor?

Heidi: She's drunk.

Julian: And?

Heidi: She saw a picture of Randy's spouse.

Julian: But she's Randy's spouse.

Heidi: I know.

**

Howard: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.

Rei: You could lose a few.

Heidi: You could be less lazy.

Randy: Don’t be such a bitch.

Howard: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

**

*The gang when they drop food on the floor*

Rei: Aw man. *Throws it away*

Howard: Five second rule!

Julian: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*

Randy: *Sobs on the floor*

**

Randy: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Rei: Merry crisis.

Heidi: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Howard: Hoe hoe hoe.

Randy: Guys, please.

**

Howard: Ducks are better than rabbits.

Rei: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Julian: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

Rei: We’re not talking about flavour, Julian!

Julian: Flavour counts!

Rei: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

Randy: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?

Rei: Okay, but-

Randy: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Julian: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

Rei: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, JULIAN!

Julian: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, REI!

Howard: I- Jesus-

[tethered-heartstrings]

Hanni/Will

1. Who gets more nervous while driving?

2. Who is more pedantic about order in the house?

3. Who loves more?

4. Will Hannibal never lie to Will again? Full honesty?

5. Can their relationship survive?

1. I don't see either being nervous drivers. I see both as being very skilled drivers who also enjoy driving. both also have experience driving at all times of the day, long hours, and harsh weather conditions. I do like to think when Will is driving and Hannibal is the passenger, Will still drives safe but a little more wrecklessly because he finds it funny when Hannibal grabs the oh-shit handle and just says "Will, Will, please" in a stern voice repeatedly.

2. Hannibal. When they first start living together, he is overly corrective and particular with everything that it makes Will want to do less because he knows its a fruitless effort if Hannibal is just going to fix it after he's done. it takes some learning but Hannibal calms down and learns to appreciate the touch Will adds to their home.

3. there is no competition. each love fiercely and deeply in their own way. its comparing apples and oranges, all you can say is they are both fruits.

4. Hannibal might argue he never truly lied, just spoke in half truths or vague sentiments. Will still saw it as lying, though. I think both of them would be as honest as possible, but I do think they would fib or tell a white lie to spare the other person. the truth would come out when it was safe to do so. big lies got left at the cliff house though. there is no more room for that in their new lives.

5. sure, why not. the only thing standing in the way of their own longevity and happiness is each other. if they choose love over betrayal, I don't see much getting in their way. barring things outside their control like premature death/arrest of course.