#it's like being robbed but im also the robber

[thedepressexpress]

hey who told me to pursue my difficult degree without telling me the degree would be difficult?????

[blookmallow]

watching house of 1000 corpses and i gotta say i deeply appreciate the energy of. weirdass middle of nowhere oddity circus attraction where they’ve basically engineered their own little murder themed darkride that’s just, like, a guy pushing you along in a cart. i love the ingenuity here. i would love to go to this place apart from the fact that im assuming all these people are about to get murdered to death 

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the same tv

words: 1.8k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, parent death, funerals, robbery, redemption/forgiveness, addiction, drinking (wine, not like hard drinking), tickling, cockwarming, they call themselves kids at one point but at no point are reader or rafe under 18, like itll make sense once you read it in context

the first thing you do when you enter your house is kick off your shoes. the next is to stop holding back your tears as they stream down your face. you can't even sob anymore, just silent, steady tears.

you sigh as you look around the entryway. there's been some changes since you moved away, despite only being out of your parents house for a little over a year. they replaced the grand portrait that was of your mom's parents with one of you, now taking the place of honor.

you look away before you get to the rest of the family photos. you've seen enough at the funeral. you walk further in to the house, bare feet against the shiny wood floor.

you pause when you hear something further in. you haven't forgotten how the old house seemed to speak, groaning and settling during strong winds or when too many people were crammed between it's walls.

this sound seems different, but you're also occasionally sniffling, your ears are shot from blasting music in an attempt to distract yourself, so you shrug it off and walk further into the living room.

the sound suddenly makes sense as you see someone stood in your living room, arms holding up your parents flat screen television, awkwardly trying to carry it.

you aren't even mad. you honestly don't care about the tv. or the fact that someone is trying to rob you.

you let out a bitter laugh before you sink to the floor. “of fucking course this happens.” you are glad you still have your purse slung from your shoulder as you pull your wallet out, quite aggressively throwing it at the robber who has now frozen.

“what?” he questions, lowering the tv to the ground and pushing his hood of his head, a dumb move for someone currently committing a crime.

“this has been the worst week of my life and now you're robbing me. just my fucking luck…” you let out a broken sob. “just take whatever you want and leave.”

the only things that matter to you still in the house aren't actually worth anything anyways. the photos of your parents, your dad's cologne that's half empty, the oak tree that your childhood dog is buried next to.

“i thought the people who lived here died.”

you pick your head up, a look of fury overtaking your face.

“they did. they're my fucking parents! and now they're gone and you're fucking robbing me! get the fuck out!” you stand up, pushing at the robbers chest.

he looks familiar, like you should know who he is but can't place him.

“im-shit. im sorry.” he says, allowing you to shove him away and out the door. 

“im really fucking sorry!” he yells again before you slam the door shut.

-- years later --

you park your car in the driveway instead of pulling it all the way into the garage like you know you should, but you need to know if you're correct about the man sitting on your front step.

“you're the kid that tried to rob me.” you say as you walk the sidewalk to the porch.

“yes.” he says, looking ashamed and a whole lot more grown up. “i was an addict and i owed a debt. my dad had just kicked me out of the house and i was on my own for the first time. it was stupid of me, but when i heard the people living here died, i thought it'd be a victimless crime.”

he sighs deeply, like even just thinking back to that time physically hurts. “i didn't even think that someone could have inherited the house. im so, so sorry.” 

he swallows thickly. “my mom died when i was young. my dad- my dad just died recently. he faked his death and i got him back, but he's actually gone this time. you know what you said about the worst week in your life?”

you think back those years. it's mostly a blur, especially the days surrounding your parents car crash and funeral, but you do remember breaking down in front of the robber. you nod gently, waiting to hear the end of his speal.

“i know what you mean now. and im sorry i hurt you. im sorry about your parents dying.” he pulls something out of his pocket, extending his hand.

you look into his open palm, realizing it's a ornate gold necklace.

“no.” you shake your head. “you keep it. you don't need to bribe me to forgive you.”

“i want you to have it.” he says. “it's… it's not a lot, but it's something. something to help make up for what ive done.”

you reach forward, carefully taking the necklace out of his outstretched hand, carefully not to accidentally bump his skin. 

“thank you.” you say, admiring the way the sun gleams off the metal. 

“im rafe, by the way. rafe cameron.”

“y/n.” you respond, undoing the clasp of the necklace.

“here, let me.” he takes it out of your hands, moving quicker than you can think as he steps around you. your hair is already up in a bun, so rafe is able to reach around and easily place the chain around your neck.

“thank you.” the weight of the necklace feels comfortable against your skin, like it's the last finishing touch you need. you are wearing your mother's earrings, your father's bracelet, and now you have the other piece of what made that time in your life so miserable, your robbers necklace.

“i… i guess ill be going now.” rafe says.

you turn and watch him walk away. you recognize so much of your former self in him, the clear grieving he's going through.

“are you sober now?” you call out before he reaches the end of your driveway.

“sober enough.” he shouts back. rafe doubts he'll ever truly be clean, but he can at least manage now, doesn't need the drugs like he used to.

“then come back for dinner tomorrow. we can talk.”

you can see the smile stretch over his features. “ill be there.”

-- three months later --

“shit.” rafe says, head snapping over to you. “this is the same tv.”

you giggle and nod, surprised it took him so long to realize. “i never really watch tv on the actual tv, so no need to replace it.” you shrug, the gold necklace still draped over your neck. you haven't taken it off except to shower and sleep.

“god, thats crazy.” rafe looks over to you. “imagine if we just talked back then.” 

you shake your head. “you just think you want that because we get along now. we were both in bad places.”

“you don't think we would have been hooking up back then?” rafe asks, raising an eyebrow at you, watching the way your thighs press together at the mere mention of hooking up, already feeling the urge to sleep with rafe even after having sex only a couple of hours ago.

“we were two scared kids. if we were hooking up we definitely shouldn't have been.” you giggle, reaching your wine glass out for rafe to refill, which he is glad to pour a more than healthy amount in.

“and now?” rafe looks down at his lap.

“and now we are two slighty less scared slightly older kids.” you giggle again, taking a deep sip before leaning across the couch cushion to press a kiss to rafes cheek, the movie you had put on long forgotten.

“rafe.” you wait until he looks you in the eye. “im here for you.”

“god, what have i done to deserve you?” rafe wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you on top of him as he flops back onto the couch. 

you let out a laugh before it's cut off with his lips. he kisses you heavily, hand against the back of your head, not allowing you to pull away, not that you want to.

you let himself get lost in your kiss. you wish you had someone to support you in the time you needed most, and you're determined to be that person for rafe now.

rafe easily dominates your mouth even though he's underneath you as you quickly work your shorts off, wiggling against him until your bottom half is nude.

you press against rafes crotch, still covered by his sweatpants. you feel his cock straining against the fabric as you rub your pussy against it, wetting the gray material.

“baby, please.” rafe groans. he would pull his cock out himself, but his hands are preoccupied holding you close to him as if his life depends on it.

“oh, now you don't like teasing?” you smile.

“alright, i deserve this.” rafe also manages a chuckle despite his straining erection. “but please. need to feel your pussy ‘round me.”

“alright.” you roll your eyes dramatically. you'll have to get revenge on rafe at a different time for edging you the other night.

you push his pants down his thighs until you're able to reach into his underwear and pull out his cock. you give him a few quick strokes before lining up your entrance and sinking down.

rafe let's out a moan, barely pulling his face away from yours. “you're so wet.”

“it's almost like i like you or something.” you roll your eyes.

rafe laughs before kissing you again, hand moving up to your hair, tangling his fingers between the strands.

you sit on his cock for a moment, adjusting, before beginning to move, up then down, up then down, subtle movements of your hips, not needing anything fast, wanting drawn out, wanting it to last.

the movie is long over by the time rafe finally cums, a hand finally moving down to rub your clit to make sure you get off at the same time as his.

by the time you're both satisfied, you're sweaty and exhausted. you don't even bother to pull off his cock as you rest your head against his chest.

“thank you.” rafe says softly, rubbing his hand over your back. you don't need to ask what for. you know. for being there. you'll always be there.

you look up at him, a small smile on your face. “how are we gonna tell people we met?”

things are quickly getting serious, and while he hasn't breached the subject with you yet, neither of you have been hiding how quickly you're falling.

“what, you think it's a problem that we met when i was robbing you?” rafe says, making you giggle, only intensified by his hand pressing into your side, fingers tickling you as you howl with laughter.

rafe flips you over onto your back so you're underneath him, keeping his cock pushed inside of you.

“maybe we should just tell people we met on tinder.” rafe shrugs.

you roll your eyes. “somehow that's more embarrassing.”

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @sourkittie @rafeyslove @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @vogueprincess @auryyz @raysmayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl @ditzyzombiesblog @chiaraanatra @tobiaslut @drewsephrry @1aarii1 @edszn @theoraekenslover

[mamawasatesttube]

tell me about tim hitting on supernova and being a whore 👀

also asked by @derp-a-la-sheep !!

"tim drake hits on supernova. whore.docx" is some futurefic identity shenanigans. i.e. tim drake, hapless civilian that he is, visits his sweet ol country boyfriend conner kent in metropolis, and the two of them say huh, it'd be fun to go down to that park and check out all the food trucks and little market stalls this weekend! and tim drake, since he's a nice boyfriend, offers to step into the bank on the way over and get some cash at the atm, which would be all well and good if a bunch of wannabe bank robbers from out of state didn't also step into the bank in the interest of cash.

what this turns into: oh no!!! 😱 there's some guys with guns!! in the bank!!! ...yes, seriously, some people tried robbing this bank with guns, regular old normal guns, in superman's city. don't worry guys, supernova's got this, as soon as he can stop laughing, anyways.

so we have tim, stuck on the inside of a hostage situation, pouting. because he could have handled it himself if he had his costume on him. but noooo, he has to play the scared rich prettyboy from out of town because it's keeping the robbers attention on him and not the other people stuck in the bank. ugh. he hates having to sit around pretending he's helpless. he's so mad!!!

and then we have kon effortlessly scaring the shit out of the bank robbers, clearly having a great time, making a bunch of bad jokes. and tim is just like. oohhhh im so mad. i need to go make out with my sexy boyfriend who just disintegrated 15 guns and maybe then i won't be as mad. the worst part of this is that tim ISNT even hitting on supernova. he's just staring at him like 👁️👁️. and then someone next to him goes "yeah. dreamy, isn't he?" and tim's like. um. (how would a civilian from out of town who has never actually grabbed that butt react to this.) y. yes? yes. dreamy. yeah. totally?

and of course that means when kon is getting him "to safety" he's like. wow, you think i'm dreamy, citizen? and tim goes :/ i have a boyfriend. and kon, giggling in midair, is like, oh yeah? is he cute? and then, because i make memes about my own wips instead of writing them sometimes, we have a visual aid for the choice tim suddenly finds himself facing:

anyway its just lighthearted shenanigans and a look at what kon's ttk looks like to "outsiders" and people on the ground. and also kon making fun of tim when tim is ALREADY pouting about being stuck as a civilian during this whole incident. shouldnt actually be too long if i can just... write it... ough!

[chattemagique]

yandere! AllMight headcannons + chapter 1 (?)

tw: self-harm, kidnapping, use of curse word (fuck), stalking, obsessive behavior, mentions of daddy issues, indirect mentons of suicide, reader has mental issues fem!bodied reader, mentions of sex

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

PROCEED WITH CARE

- Basically his associations with his first crush and you influenced his main delusions. Also that you wanted to become a superhero, which is so altruistic, just as she was and he was. You were totally made for him. And even in this difficult situation he was there as your savior to guide you towards the right path.

-yan! All might doesn't see you as a villain

-rather as lost young woman or rather babygirl (im sorry for the old ass joke, this actually stayed in my drafts for almost a year)

-delusional yes -his roles in reader's life borders between someone similar to a father figure and a lover, leaning more towards the lover side -would play a therapist with you -could give you the whole world if only you stayed with him and listened to him, stop committing crime and maybe found yourself some hobby or activity that you like

-he would try to be your therapist, would do a little research on mental health and self-harm as he's busy with work/or ask the therapists that worked in the same company as him

Just imagine sitting in his lap while crying in his chest. His hand slowly caressing your back while whispering sweet, comforting words in your ear that it's going to be alright, that he's going to help you get through this.

-ngl I feel like (y/n) would be the first one to initiate sex despite All might being delusional he wouldn't force himself onto you he's just not built this way (kidnapping doesn't count tho ) besides he did that to save you from prison

-It'd be after some time, when he's tried talking to you, feed you with your favorite food and many other interesting, cute desserts that he'd usually bring Midoriya, walking with you in the garden (in the house that he'd brought you in) out of desperation you just kinda started to open up to him, bc there was nowhere else to go.

-he's actually completely fine with you disappearing and not appearing in public anymore, if you don't wanna be a hero

-if you do, then he will "wipe out" any information about this robbing case which has your name, using his connections or/and suggest you to change your name 

***

There used to be a time, when you wanted to become a hero. Not anymore tho. You're even started to doubt whether this wish was yours and not somebody else's.. Were you yourself or just wearing a mask, pretending to be a good person, when in reality just a hypocrite.

The bank's visitors and employees all had their faces planted on the floor while your partner in crime used his quirk to emit temporarily paralyzing smoke to watch them.  You took money from safe deposit boxes.  Someone's money lol.

You didn't expect that he would be here. You were hoping that some average hero would arrive here, when you had already stolen some amount and slipped away together with your partner in crime.

"I AM HERE"

-Shit

Having barely fastened your bag, you headed to the back exit, which led into narrow alleys.  Hearing how your partner was arrested, deciding that all the attention would be on him, you ran as far as possible, weaving through the streets.  Finally seeing the descent into the subway. Since it was night, there was no one in particular and you headed as far as possible.

"Damn, I thought, that I might have to use you, " you caressed the gun through your jacket. It had two bullets, in case if this ain't going to end well and you wouldn't want to suffer in prison. It was that bad and hopeless.

The thing is he still remembers you from the first time he met you 2 years ago, when you were leaving your job at night. He saved you from the robber with a gun.

You reminded him of his first crush, your face, your body, your hair, smell, voice, your beauty, everything. And your potential that he saw in you, when you still wanted to become a superhero.

From that time he watches you all the time.. At first he thought that it wasn't normal, but he just couldn't help himself to keep watching you. Especially when he saw the scars on your wrist.

So the days went on and on and you totally forgot about this accident and couldn't even imagine that someone like nr.1 hero was stalking you.

Obviously, he was very disappointed when he found out about your robbing plans. And he never really liked your villain friend. How could somebody like you even be friends with him?! But that was also a part of your charm, since you tried not to judge people by their cover. So why were you then so judgemental about yourself?

A sudden looming figure was approaching you from the other side of the tunnel. You tried to change the directions, but it was following you. You're at a dead end now. Either you're going to the police, either to them now. Well, you decided to test your chances and meet them.

"okay" you thought, "imma just act as if I'm lost and looking for a way out towards the forest."

You saw some tall middle aged man and decided to just walk past him, as if you're looking for another exit.

"y/n"

You stopped.

"You're on a wrong path."

"Sorry?" you were confused. Who the fuck was he?

You turned your head. Your eyes met.

No. There's no way it's him.

He transformed into his full form and the tunnel room seemed so small in a second.

You didn't realize how you released the bag from your hand and were going to try to run through walls. Your quirk wasn't that advanced, but you could walk through walls. Only it was already too late as you approached the closest wall and felt your heavy eyelids closing.

You woke up in bedroom. Similar to the one you had at your home. You even thought that It was the one and that this whole non-sense from yesterday was just a dream. But it wasn't. Soon you noticed the difference from your usual room.

Your left leg felt heavier than usual. There was a black anklet that you couldn't remove. The room lacked some decor and also the drawers and wardrobe had other clothes you've never had. After inspecting the room, you decided to see what else could be hidden here. There was a big, dark brown woody closet with mirror. You opened it. Suddenly you noticed that the back of the closet was covered with pictures of you. Pictures of you being outside and inside of your room through window.. Scary shit. What the actual fuck.

You just remembered that it was All Might who you've met yesterday in the tunnel. The shocking memory made you fall back and hit the side of the bed.

"Ouch!"

Suddenly the door knob started moving and he walked in.

"(y/n), are you okay?"

You were probably delusional. You were surely delusional. This situation wasn't even serious. It couldn't. You were sleeping. Sleeping for sure.

If only.

"W-what do y-you want from m-me?" your voice was trembling.

"I want you to feel and become better.. with me." Nr.1 said surely.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Hey there, friend!! I was wondering if you could give me any advice on writing pirates and kingpin type characters? Im trying to write a love story about this lesbian pirate falling in love with a kingpins daughter, but her mission is to carry out her late captains legacy - which is to make sure both him and his daughter are dead (i hope that makes sense 😭)

Writing Notes: Pirates

The word "pirate" typically conjures up images of a/an:

Slightly comical seaborne ruffian

Parrot perched on the shoulder

Peg leg

Bandana

Eye patch

Gold teeth

Skull and crossbones flag

This comes from a century or more of cartoonish depictions of pirates in Peter Pan, Treasure Island and The Pirates of the Caribbean.

Pirate - a robber who travels by water. Though most pirates targeted ships, some also launched attacks on coastal towns.

We often think of pirates as swashbuckling and daring or evil and brutish, but in actual fact most of them were ordinary people who had been forced to turn to criminal activity to make ends meet.

Nowadays these sanitized pirates are used to sell everything from rum to home insurance. The pirate has become an instantly recognizable symbol whose meaning is far removed from its dark and sinister origins.

The term ‘pirate’ has been changed over the years.

A ‘privateer’ was a government-sanctioned pirate who did not attack his own people.

The French called these people ‘corsairs’, although even this term became associated with Mediterranean ‘pirates’ instead of ‘privateers’.

A ‘buccaneer’ was a 17th-century raider who preyed on the Spanish in the Caribbean, while a

‘filibuster’ (or ‘freebooter’) was simply a French word for a ‘buccaneer’.

As for ‘swashbuckler’, the term meant a 16th-century brigand, or a 17th-century swordsman, but in the 20th century it was adopted by the writers of pirate fiction, and then by Hollywood. In the piratical heyday most of these terms were never used the way they are today.

Finally, there were ‘pirates’. The dictionary specifies that a ‘pirate’ is someone who robs from others at sea, and who acts beyond the law. Usually, they attacked whatever ships they came across, regardless of nationality.

Sometimes, though, these ‘pirates’ themselves crossed the line from one category to another.

HISTORY OF PIRACY

Spans the time of the Egyptian pharaohs to the present day. The real "heyday" of piracy falls neatly into two halves:

The colourful era of the 17th-century buccaneers who preyed on the Spanish Main – men like Henry Morgan or the bloodthirsty François L’Olonnais.

The ‘Golden Age of Piracy’. The phrase was first coined by the creators of pirate fiction rather than by people who experienced piracy for themselves. There was nothing golden or romantic about the real thing. Still, the term serves as a useful historical shorthand for a time when some of the best-known pirates in history were sailing the world’s oceans in search of prey. This was the brief but heady period in the early 18th century when the likes of Blackbeard, Black Bart and Charles Vane roamed the seas.

This early 18th-century French slave ship is typical of the slavers that were often captured by pirates, and sometimes converted into pirate vessels themselves. They had a reputation for being fast, an important feature for ships engaged in transporting a human cargo across the Atlantic.

Pirate ships usually carried far more crew than ordinary ships of a similar size.

This meant they could easily outnumber their victims.

Pirates altered their ships so that they could carry far more cannon than merchant ships of the same size.

Stories about pirate brutality meant that many of the most famous pirates had a terrifying reputation, and they advertised this by flying various gruesome flags including the 'Jolly Roger' with its picture of skull and crossbones.

All these things together meant that victims often surrendered very quickly. Sometimes there was no fighting at all.

It's likely that most victims of pirates were just thrown overboard rather than being made to ‘walk the plank’.

FEMALE PIRATES

The capture of the two female pirates, Anne Bonny and Mary Read, in 1720 provoked the outrage of a society where women were simply not supposed to become seamen, or pirates, or fight. As a result, the pair became some of the best-known pirates of the ‘Golden Age’.

In this 19th-century illustration, Mary Read, having vanquished a fellow pirate in a duel, exposes her breast to reveal to her dying adversary that he was shot by a woman. After their capture it was said that she and Anne Bonny put up more of a fight than all the rest of Rackam’s pirate crew.

While this depiction of Anne Bonny is probably fairly accurate – she wears the standard clothing of a sailor from this period – the artist felt obliged to emphasise her gender by giving her a low-cut shirt.

Like the depiction of Anne Bonny by the same artist, Mary Read is shown wearing the outfit of a European sailor from the period. A contemporary said of the two women that they ‘wore men’s jackets and long trousers, and handkerchiefs tied about their heads’.

A lot of what is known about pirates is not true, and a lot of what is true is not known.

Pirates could also be civil, neighborly, and law-abiding.

One reason piracy was often an act or a phase, and not a way of life, was simply because humans have not evolved to live on the sea. The sea is a hostile place, offering few of the pleasures of terrestrial society.

The expansion of commercial trade, particularly the slave trade, cemented a colonial social order increasingly threatened by instability at sea and less tolerant of social mobility on land. This change in attitudes led to the period we call the “War on Pirates”—roughly 1716 to 1726—and the advent of sea marauders who, with little hope of ever resettling on land, attacked their own nation.

Some Pirate-Related Tropes - you could use to help guide you write your own character.

Writing Notes: Kingpin

A character trope also referred to as "Big Bad", specifically a crime boss (usually a drug lord).

A character with evil plans (some popular examples of "evil plans").

"The Don"

A similar character trope.

The patriarch of a crime family — most often the mafia.

He is shrewd, ruthless, and very dangerous to cross.

Often he will hold to an arcane code of honor, which is perhaps incomprehensible to non-mobsters.

He will be very protective of his family and he will ensure that his dear little girl wants for nothing, all while maintaining the illusion of morality.

Read or watch media that depict this trope to help guide you write your own character, such as:

Vito and Michael Corleone in The Godfather.

Batman's The Penguin fills this role in Gotham City, having retired from committing crimes personally — for the most part.

Mr. Big from Zootopia is Tundratown's most notorious crime boss (right down to being a parody of Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone), despite being a diminutive arctic shrew. Judy is lucky enough to get in his good graces by saving his daughter's life.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

Already sounds like such an interesting story, thanks for sharing it with me! Choose which of these notes to help you build your characters :)

[respectthepetty]

hi!! i can’t stop thinking about your wild-ass theory about saifah and how it feels like you’ve predicted the whole dang plot!

im thinking next episode is gonna be mostly happy and fluffy with a bit of angst about kang and his dad (otherwise you’d think they would’ve had the saifah getting arrested clip in the trailer for the episode). but then I reckon episode 9 is where shit’s gonna go DOWN (although it might also be episode 10, but it feels like there’s several subplots that’re gonna happen and they’re gonna need as many episodes as possible to unpack them while still having a satisfying ending)

anyway this isn’t really saying anything, I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your theories and reading your posts, and I also love dangerous romance this series is so good, it very very quickly became my entire personality and I can’t stop rewatching it hehe

BUT YEAH, I LOVE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY YOURE AWESOME FJEKEIFJEJEJFIEJE

Wild Ass Theory Update

@quodekash, because this is you giving me a compliment and me blushing from it, I'm giving you everything that has been stuck in my head over the past couple of weeks.

TLWR: Episode 8/9 - Kanghan is going to throw a tantrum about his dad paying for him to get on the team, spend all his dad's money on Sailom on a trip, and sleep with him, only to return home and see that his dad has been shot and Saifah had something to do with it causing him to question everything about Sailom.

Thank you very much for saying that you love my theories, and that I'm awesome, but I appreciate even more that you LOVE Dangerous Romance.

Because I, too, love it. An unreasonable amount, in fact. It makes me so happy even though I know some pain is headed our way.

And much like you, I think that pain is coming in episode 9. Now that Saifah is in Kang's house, we might see some warning signs in episode 8 in the shape of this beautiful giant red flag.

I feel more than confident that Papang is capable of stealing, but I don't think he has it in him to rob an employer's home or shoot someone, which is also a part of my theory (let the dad get shot, please!), so Name has to be involved!

But that's partly why I love this show. It has done a good job giving us crumbs along the way about what is to come, which is why I don't feel like it's a wild ass theory because I think Saifah does feel some type of way about Name enough to help him with a dumb plan.

Because even Kang's dad paying for Kang to get on the soccer team was implanted into the story well.

Since we knew from the first episode that he regularly donates money to the school for students, so it wouldn't seem out of the norm for some of that money to benefit his child as well.

Even Pimfah's crush on Sailom seemed written in stone to me from the first episode when the dog discussion came up since she stood firmly on the "show the dog love" side then continued to show Sailom love while Kang is in the "punish the dog" boat.

So, once again, I think the show has done a great job telling us Saifah is going to be involved in robbing that house, even if it's as simple as letting the actual robbers in. But robbing the house doesn't seem enough to split the couple up, which is why I think someone has to get shot.

DON'T LET IT BE THE GRANDMA! It must be the dad.

The grandma has to be the one to convince Kang to trust himself and his love for Sailom, so he can believe Sailom had nothing to do with this plot, and that Saifah didn't intend for anyone to get hurt.

The dad has to be shot because there is still tension between him and Kanghan, AND wouldn't it be interesting if the robbery (and shooting) were less about "eat the rich" and more of the political backstabbing variation?

So with all that being written, I think the robbery will happen either at the end of episode eight or the beginning of episode nine IF Kanghan finds out early in the episode that his dad paid for him to get on the team since Pimfah is going to drop this line in eight.

Would really suck for Kanghan to be focused and on the right path only for his last parent to get shot, and him be lost all over again, no? Would be awful for Kang to find out his dad paid his way onto the team, be pissed off about it, throw a tantrum, and use up all his money on a trip with Sailom where he tells him how much he loves him . . .

Spend the night with Sailom (possibly their first time together) telling him how much he appreciates Sailom for believing in him like the best version of a BL honeymoon

Only to return home and see his dad has been shot and think Sailom had something to do with it since Saifah is being arrested.

Kanghan will push Sailom away from guilt of being upset at his father who is now in the hospital and confusion of his feelings for Sailom, which means Sailom is going to have to start escorting again to make ends meet because Name is NOT in jail and still in charge of debts (10?)

Then Kanghan is going to assault Sailom. (10?)

The grandma is gonna be like "IDIOT!" and Kanghan is going to rescue Sailom (11?)

And Sailom is going to cry about having no one left, and Kanghan is going to be like "you still have me" (11?)

And then we get episode 12 where the real baddies go to jail.

*curtain closes*

The crumbs have been laid, and I'm following them all the way to grandma's house. Name x Saifah, don't just be my ghost ship.

Be the ship to cause some shit!

[orangetubor]

I wrote some more of the mind/body/soul thing :D (under read more BCS it's a long excerpt)

I take off my boots and stuff them in my satchel, and look around the room. The floor is littered with little wooden animals and tiny socks, and in the corner on the bed, is a not-sleeping child.

'hullo.' the not-sleeping child's eyes get even more not closed, and as she moves her legs she gets even more not-tucked-cozy-in-bed.

'hullo.' I reply, really not sure how I should play this. Santa clause? No, it's November, and Jana would make a better one. Shadow demon? Too pale. Robber? Honest ,which isn't what I'm going for.

'are you here to rob me?' the very-much-awake-now-and-surprisingly-observent child asks. I look to the freshly opened window, and my lack of shoes, and the fact that Jana is waiting outside, and decide the best approach is to lie.

'no.' simple and effective.

'but you've broken into my room.' says the still-very-clever child that I should stop underestimating,

'im the sandman. I'm here to make you sleep, since you're clearly bad at it,' I take a step closer.

'but you look like a woman.' says the quite-deeply-annoying child.

'i do not'' ooh, that was a bit loud. The contrarian child continues,

'you do! You have long hair and you're short and you're wearing women's clothes!' okay maybe the bloomers are supposed to be worn by a woman but they were the only clean trousers.

'they're not women's clothes, they're my clothes, and I'm the sandMAN. also, men can be short and have long hair, it's really very common. Now go to sleep before I make you.' that ought to do the trick

'and how exactly could you make me?' that did not do the trick.

'magic, obviously. Being a sandman I have it.'

'what kind of magic?'

'blunt magic. I hit you round the head with the wooden end of my chisel and you go right to sleep.'

'thats not magic, that's hitting.' okay this kid is getting really annoying.

'how about, you stop contradicting me, and I give you a sweet, and you go to sleep.'

'what kind of sweet?' asks the really-truly-deeply-irritating child.

'a hard candy with chocolate in the middle.' irresistible.

'deal.' irresistible! I hand the finally-satisfied child a sweet from my bag and walk out of her room, down the stairs, and to the front door, I then open said door.

[ramblesbrambles]

The Mask Plot Pyjama Tie-in Thing

Just watched The Mask (1994) and had an epiphany and that epiphany is that I love it when the people get the absolute wrong idea of whatever the fuck happened but also it Definitely, For Sure, makes sense from their point of view

Where is the plot tie in where the detectives (specifically Kellaway), after looking at the chief detectives report about Stanley ‘getting his pyjamas robbed report’ and then going ‘IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW’

Because if Dorian was the mask and was blackmailing Stanley Ipkiss (well-knowned for being a nerd and goody two shoes) then that would explain why Stanley’s pyjamas were at the coco bongo:

STANLEY WAS FRAMED, MRS PEEN GOT ATTACKED BY DORIANS MEN AS THEY TRIED TO FIND THE BEST SCAPEGOAT TO ROB THE BANK

Would also explain: His stressed out demeanour overall, his ties with Tina (literally the whole club saw him trying to save Tina from Dorian and god, wouldn’t that explain why he pulled the heist and brought it to the club?? If Tina was a human hostage but nobody knew, and Stanley brought all the money to the club to ‘spend it’ that’s basically money laundering)

And then of COURSE Tina getting kidnapped and almost getting exploded would cause Stanley, well-mannered and basically a push-over to go off the rails

(Kellaway: Ok but what’s the deal about the magic mask-

Doyle: Look if a mob tried to steal my mask of power and misuse it I would also get desperate and put it on to try and save a human hostage??)

Detective Kellaway, unsure about anything at this point: Look im not saying that that dorian was a smart man but he WAS probably desperate at that point to put together such a hare-brained scheme

Detective Kellaway: Wait, is that why the mans apartment looked like a wreck?? Because Dorian was Roughing him up behind the scenes????

Detective Kellaway: Oh my god he knew and was trying to say something he purposefully put himself in front of the camera to give himself away without saying he was being influenced there is LITERALLY no bank robber who would willingly give themselves up to the camera unless they were sending a message

Detective Kellaway: he could have had a shootout with half the precinct and instead tried to harmlessly defuse the situation

Detective Kellaway: THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE GOT THROWN STRAIGHT AT ME DORIAN WAS SICK OF HIM AND HAD NO USE FOR HIM

Detective Kellaway: oh my god I jailed an innocent I coulda got worse than demoted

Doyle: man you gotta cut the man some slack

Detective Kellaway: ok but why was the auto shop then hit????

Doyle: know Ipkiss had a car there yeah??? S’probably where Dorian looked first for his victim I mean we all know that place had some dealings and if a guy was desperate to use ‘The Loaner’ Dorian would Absolutely use him as a scapegoat (Meanwhile in their condo Tina and Ipkiss are doing pretty well! Ipkiss sometimes regresses because Anxiety but you know Tina is giving him the confidence)

Anyways.

[earlysunshines]

real shit bro im gonna rob the robber actually..

no it was so funny like i have so many stories from that england trip i love talking and reminiscing about it

oh trust my money will be SPENTTT!!!! since i started working i have more money and i feel rich ....

also you told me to slow down with like going after other girls so a girl is slowing down!!

but i do have to spill the tea a little bc something happened between me and a friend which i never thought could happen 🙈

i fear ill never stop being freaky sorry

sounded like a memorable trip!

i also have money from working but i can’t work as much bc of my courseload omfg

i’m glad you’re slowing down! and😭😭😭 well things happen i get it smth happened with me and this one mutual i had earlier this year so it’s lowk normal

[dearest-painter]

Two faced or two sided?(PT.1)

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,canon injuries,crossovers like Payday 2 & Rainbow six siege,Y/N works for both rainbow six siege and with the Payday gang,Y/N is named Boogie man with R6s while is named Wolf with the payday gang,male reader,getting shot at,being hit,being kicked,being tased,bombs,robbing banks,cussing,Y/N is dating Doc/Gustave,Y/N speaks Swedish,Y/N IS WOLF FROM PAYDAY GANG,Dilf reader/Reader has a daughter who is 4 years old,google translate

“WOLF! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?” Where were you? Who was yelling at you. Shaking your head you saw that it was Dallas. “Yeah! I’m okay!” “Good! Thought I almost lost you today,you still got a daughter to take care of!” “Let’s get to work!” He pulled you up as you went to get back to work which was robbing a bank as usual but this one was different they got rainbow six siege your other team. The payday gang knew you worked with rainbow six siege because they make fun of your name ‘Boogie Man’ but hey is it your fault that you can camouflage really well,track things down,and be as silent as a mouse when hunting something?

Chains was yelling at the saw so you went up and kicked them which fixed them. “HOW DO YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO IT!?” “50/50 chance” “NAH THAT IS SOME BULL FUCKING SHIT! THAT AIN’T 50/50 CHANCE ITS AN 100 CHANCE WITH YOU!” You just chuckled as you left to go fend off the police. “KOM HIT DU LILLA TICK!!” You started shooting at the cloakers,medics,and tasers and oh so much more! Soon you saw a familiar person,your boyfriend Gustave. You sighed knowing he’s about to find out that his boyfriend is also a bank robber. “WOLF WE NEED YOU OVER HERE!” “ALRIGHT DALLAS IM ON MY WAY!” “Mon ange?”you looked at him but under your mask your face was sympathy and regret. “Hello min älskade” you saw Gustave’s face it was of shock and betrayal you couldn’t look at him anymore as you ran towards Dallas.

Gustave couldn’t believe it his boyfriend was a bank robber. No no Y/N wouldn’t do it willingly! Y/N must’ve been forced into this yes yes! That’s the answer his lover was forced to do this horrendous crime and he’s going to make sure that Y/N will be taken away into a safer place with just him. He started to chase you but as you knew him and also have been chased by a lot of people you knew how to get away. Slide under the table,throw down some book cases,jumping around,going through the police,and lastly climbing something you were good at. “GET IT WOLF! WE GOTTA BOUNCE!” “I KNOW FUCKER IM ON MY WAY! KINDA BEING CHASED!” You and the others ran to the car. As soon as you all got in you started to speed away.

Everyone was pissed off that they list the payday gang again! But Gustave was plotting something,he was plotting how to save his boyfriend from those fucking heathens of criminals. He’s going to save his boyfriend one way or another even if he has to take a life.

[pensiveabstraction]

omg omg omg big brain moment, jetko highway robbery au

zuko, young (and until recently estranged) heir to a significant estate is on his way home (think the return to the fire nation of book 3). his carriage has to stop in the road through the forest bc there's a tree across it. there are no guards (bc his father does not care for his safety), the only other person is the driver of the carriage. cue the band of strange children dropping from the trees in the surrounding area and demanding his valuables. zuko doesnt know what to think, until the eldest and apparent leader of the gang notices his swords and goads him - weirdly flirtatiously - into a one-on-one swordfight. zuko is so annoyed, confused and flustered by the other boy that he accepts. to steal a brilliant proverb, he is so busy fighting that he cannot see his own ship has set sail; by the time he defeats the other boy, the forest-children have made off with the entire contents of the carriage, literally all of his travelgear and the driver of the carriage has long since decided this isn't worth it, taken one of the horses and left. zuko is left to glare at the boy - who apparently had a pistol this entire time why did he even bother swordfighting me?? - as he leaves smugly with the gun pointed at zuko til hes out of sight, untie the other horse from the ransacked carriage and make the rest of the way on his own.

months later when zuko is kicked out to fend for himself for opposing his father's cruel treatment of his employees and corrupt business practices (particularly worker safety negligence leading to deaths and making rent in the area very steep which led to dozens of families being left without income, without homes), he ends up going to the forest, hoping to remember the way back to the village he and uncle were staying at, even if he doesn't think his uncle will want to see him.

jet finds this mysterious grubby kid in the forest, wandering directionlessly and tries to adopt him into the freedom fighters (aka his merry band of fellow orphans he taught to steal bc he didnt know how else to provide for them, as a fellow kid himself). zuko is like seriously bruh u robbed me why are u tryna get me in ur gang? jet then remembers him. jet usually makes a point to try and rob ppl who seem like they could do without the stuff, so when he - unknown to zuko - comes to the incorrect conclusion that zuko is alone, hungry, seemingly homeless and destitute because of him, he feels guilty and insists the other boy at least join them for dinner at least (also hes still pretty how is someone this pretty when they're so filthy, like srsly bro even the band of feral forest-kids bathe regularly).

zuko, having very lacking independent survival skills takes him up on his offer and, annoyed by the other boy's continuous needling, goading and teasing (flirting? no couldnt be) takes on a competitive determination to be the best highway robber ever, joining his gang. cue adorable found family moments with the fighters as zuko wonders how such terrifying feral children could be this adorable, jet and zuko committing crimes in the middle of flirting/arguing/??? (the ppl they steal from are pretty insulted that they're so easy to beat that these two - are they literal children? - seem to not even need to pay attention to them) and funny awkward moments like that one time where they attack a carriage only to discover it's ty lee's and zuko is like ".... oh hey ty lee..... um, give me all your money?" and ty lee, unphased by the robbery attempt, is like "zuko! we thought you went missing! how are things? you seem to be doing nice for yourself!, your aura has never been pinker! ooh you should bring your new friends to mine to visit some time, it feels like forever since we got to hang out!" *chiblocks literally all of the freedom fighters and shouts back waving as the carriage is leaving* "lovely seeing you! im on the way to visit azula, but you should come say hi when im on my way back!" (jet is like "what the fuck" and zukos like "yeah thats just ty lee for ya.")

idk i was reminiscing on my history gcse, the crime and punishment module and i thought about highway robbery and i was like wait this neeeeeeds to be a jetko au somehow and lo and behold my brain has spoken

[atherix]

The essay begins >:)

Tubbo helping in the shop in ch 10 is????????? so cute?????????? oh my god??????????????? Hes so smart and pays so much attention to his dad and i sldfkgsh i love him

mr goodtimes hurted a bit tho

ALSO THE FACT THAT SCAR DOESNT TELL TUBBO NO TO WANTING TO OWN THE STORE AND EVERYTHING ONE DAY BC HES WORRIED ABOUT MUMBO IS DFKLHSAFKLFSD SCAR!!!! SCAR YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE IM SO GLAD YOU CAN KISS HIM NOW OH MY LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fact that scar is not only concerned w like. Tubbo learning and wanting to work for the store and just being so proud of his son but also MUMBO BEING ABLE TO CONTINUE LIVING HIS LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO HUNT IM!!! I AM!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god and the *child claim* that scar and tubbo get to have a moment where they're just dad and son, not Mr. GoodTimes and Apprentice ASDFLSGK I am so happy. they deserve all the time in the world. AND THE WAY THE CHILD CLAIM WORKS I AM AGHAST ITS SO COOL!!! THE DESCRIPTIONS OF FEELING???? YES! YES!!!!! Of scar being kind of sad that it doesnt have all the pomp and circumstance that it 'should' have because hes fae but just being happy he gets to do it at all is flkgsdfk SO CUTE AND THEN HIM REALIZING HIS LEGACY WILL BE TUBBO IM!!!!!!!!!! I AM FEELING EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!! SCAR IS THE CHARACTER!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then he still has to sit there and tell himself he can do it, that he wont mess it up, even though he's very skilled at what he does is fdkhsl oh my god. and also scar not knowing if the feeling of magic will fade or if you just get used to it bc hes just. Its just him sfkaslgAND ALSO THAT BEING HOW TUBBO LEARNS SCAR'S TRUE NAME IM SCREAMING!!!!

ALSO AT THE READERS IM CALLED ATHERIX OUT!!! SHE DIDN'T DECIDE WHAT THEIR TRUE NAMES ARE YET!!!! START A RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THEN????????????? CH 11????? THE HINT OF WHAT FERAL SCAR WILL BECOME DSLKAGKDG I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He just YEETS away from Mumbo and it is so funny oh my god. Like its funny now. I imagine. 👀👀👀one of these times hes going to yeet and its going to be A VERY BAD NOT GOOD HORRIBLE TIME AH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Also the fact that his wards didnt work on the robbers bc they didnt want to hurt tubbo they just wanted the book is so funny to me???????/ lmao.

BUT THE WAY SCAR IS ABLE TO FOOL THEM BECAUSE HIS MAGIC DOESNT LOOK LIKE ANYONE ELSES AND ONE OF THE ROBBERS IS AN ABSOLUTE DIPSHIT IS SO FUNNY OH MY GOD!!! DANGEROUS FAE MAN THROWS TWO MEN INTO THE CANAL MORE AT 11 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Also the Watcher Bible thing is DRIVING ME INSANE OH MY GOD GRIAN IS GOING TO LOSE HIS MIND FOR LIKE A SECOND AND YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY GOD

But the fact that tubbo being followed home and someone trying to rob the house because they saw him w the book and knew what it was so the WATCHERS were in AQUATOWN oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GOING TO COME BACK TO BIT US ALL IN THE ASS!!!!!! WHAT IF THEY'RE ALREADY IN BOATEM JUST WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"they arent going to remember this" scar you scare me. Atherix dont you DARE use this to try to erase mumbo and grians memories i am TERRIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO SCAR AND TUBBO NOT KNOWING THE WATCHER TEXT BUT TUBBO ASSUMING HIS FATHER WOULD KNOW IS AH!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE LANGUAGE THE WATCHERS USE, ENOCHIAN????? BUT THE FACT THAT TUBBO JUST ASSUMED HIS DAD WOULD KNOW IS SDDFKSFKL

Wings of ink and ichor is going ot HAUNT ME!!! THE WHOLE THING IS SO GOOD BUT THAT PART IS SDLFKGSH

AND THE WARDEN MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WARDEN #1 WARDEN FAN HERE COME GET YA JUICE!!!!!

Oh my god and then the NECKLACE?????????????????? AH!!! SCAR KEEPING SOMETHING OF HIS DADS AND GIVING IT TO HIS SON TO PROTECT HIM BECAUSE TUBBO HAS HIS MAGIC AND CAN AND DGKLWDHAKLKFHGDklgklfdlkaf I AM FEELING EMOTIONS AND SINKING INTO OBLIVION

tubbo failed math S E N T ME oh my god

fdshjgfjh hello hello <3

He just wants to help his dad and work in the shop and learn everything he can <3 Such a sweet boyo <3

IKR hjgfdkj Scar you did it to yourself but I am so sorry </3

MANS GOT IT BAD. He even made a deal with the Council and im just jhfgdjkgf <3 He just wants Mumbo to have a good life <3 I am also glad they can kiss now it's <3 BUT ALSO he is so proud of his son <3 loves him so much hjkgjkdfkj <3

YESSSSSSS dad and son <3 I wanted it to be intimate and unique to how most other spells work, since it's more like extending part of yourself rather than manipulating the world around <3 HJFSJK I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS I AM hjkfdskjf. AND YES even tho he's just happy to have this moment he can't help but think of all the things that should have been </3 HJSFJKDSK TUBBO is his son his legacy the one who will be there after he's long gone and carry on his magic and his teachings <3 it's so jfdkj <3 And yes that is such a natural Good Dad feel, worrying about messing up and jst jfdsk <3 HAHA how would he know if it ever fades, he's always just had magic <3 AND YEAHHH HHH-

HJSFLKDHJFSLK LOOK LOOK I JUST. I HADN'T INTENDED TO SHARE THE NAMES BUT NOW IT TURNS OUT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW.

YESSSS FERAL SCAR. The funny thing is we haven't even seen him get as feral as he can be <3 Also I love when you get to see the pretty Elf man's inhuman side, little reminders that regardless of how human he looks he isn't <3

Heheheheheh I mean. :) I have mentioned before how dangerous teleporting can be right-

LMAO YEAH Scar realizing he needs to rework the wards simply because they were too damn specific im. HJKfdsjkk

AND THEY DESERVED IT <3 Haha yeah but Scar just casually walking around twirling his staff and they have no clue b/c Sorcerers and Mages both point their focus objects, they don't move them like Scar does hjgfsdlkk <3

YEEAAAHHHHHHH Isn't it a good thing Mumbo and Grian didn't try to help Scar and Tubbo unpack their belongings :)) HHHHJJH

:)) :)) Haha this part happened ~2 years before current time in the story... and Grian left Midnight Alley ~3 years ago (give or take, math sucks)... but didn't settle in Boatem until 1 1/2 years... so where was he those 1 1/2 years before Boatem.... 2 years ago... traveling, right..... Hm :)

HFSKJDSJF TUBBO JUST ASSUMING SCAR KNOWS ANYTHING TO DO WITH MAGIC OR MYTH LMAO hjfdsljkfd <3

I had to write that down it popped into my head and I had to I just. Yes-

THE WARDEEEEEEN I might write a self-serving scene where the Warden is involved as more than just a myth I just. They're so neat I am holding gently in my hand I am love-

YESSSSS PASSING IT ON TO HIS SON LIKE can you imagine how hard it must be to do something like that, like even though he never used it after ahem- <3 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH <3

Listen math is hard <3

[rosebramblewolf]

WELL d&d was a journey today

first off, so last session the dm’s wife was unable to attend so in game the bard had disappeared without telling us anything, it turns out he was off doing sex work in order to earn some quick cash

so when he returned to the party at the courthouse as we were going in for the hearing he was 210g richer

and it turned out the bard had fucked the judge

the very married judge who had apparently been into some weird shit

so the bard was able to use this to basically blackmail the judge into reducing the 500g for damages to be awarded to mr witch and mr light, down to 200g, which the bard then paid

so sherrie is a free man again, although they did not give back his javelins

we go back to the tavern, meet the new player character (old man monk you love to see it - also this is another one of my old work friends who i hadnt seen in months), the tiefling monk and the barbarian (players not in attendance and not sure they can commit to regular sessions anymore) go off to do their own thing

so then the 4 of us went shopping, and while we were shopping a carrier pigeon showed up with a note from sherries father who came through with the 500g - note basically said “we sent word to the bank they have money there for you”

so off we head to the bank, which is in the process of literally being robbed as we arrive, obviously these idiots charge into the middle of a hostage situation and attack

so we get all of the hostages out and win the combat, new player got to kill 2 of the 3 bank robbers we love that for him, bank manager super grateful, sherrie basically goes “i hate to talk business at such a time but im not sure how long we’ll be in town, i believe you have some funds for me”

turns out lord wyvernsgate sent sherrie 525 gold and a little note about like “take care of yourself, we miss you, come home safe”

we head back to the tavern to get cleaned up, barkeep gives us free dinner, town scribe comes in to tell us the town council wants to see us first thing in the morning to express their appreciation

and then we leveled up

[wing-dingy]

alright well here’s a little post for my interpretation of the krypt explorer

basically going over some hcs and backstory

its cringe but aaaaaaaaaaa whatever im cringe worthy we been knew

for starters, his name is Isamu Ueno. He’s bisexual and non-binary, he/they pronouns (depends on what he feels like at the moment). He’s the post that’s like “not he as in a boy but he as in a dog you dont know the gender of” or however it went lmao.

He’s also American-Japanese, his father was American while his mother was Japanese, but he grew up in Japan.

When his mother passed away, he refused to be stuck living with his father he despised, so he ran away.

The night he ran away, he made a stop at his mother’s grave. At first it was just to say his goodbyes, but his grieving soon enough lead him to impulsively dig up her grave and reach into her casket to retrieve the purple sash she had been buried with. He wanted to keep one thing from her with him for comfort.

This is exactly what lead to him becoming a grave robber

So of course on top of adventuring to see the world, he’d often seek out crypts, tombs, mausoleums, catacombs, anything full of death and treasure. There always was just a constant strong need within him to take what isn’t his. It never did occur to him this was all just an unhealthy coping mechanism started by robbing his own mother’s grave, because it was the only times he actually had control, and a chance to be spoiled since he was hardly ever rewarded for anything growing up (thanks dad).

some people??? rob graves??? to cope????

Eventually instead of breaking into krypts to steal from dead people, it becomes more about wanting to seek out cool and interesting artifacts. He came to notice people were buried with such cool things, sometimes magical things. He wants to keep exploring to find more cool and fascinating things. He just has such a habit of stealing that he forgets to put it back after...

Also hc that MKX was also his adventures

so basically mkx and mk11 were the same krypt explorer

mk11 was such a great time for him that he’s now a shang tsung apologist

(aftermath didnt happen shut up)

He’s a himbo. He’s a bit stupid, he’s strong as hell, and if you get to know him he can just be a total softie. I’d say “It takes a bit to get through to him and gain his trust” but if you approach him slowly with some food like a deer he’ll already be trusting you, lol. He’s so not used to kindness, so just be a bit nice to him and he’ll be all 🥺👉👈 He also gets scared easily, he’s full of anxiety, his worst fears are the dark and snakes and disappointing people he likes. He always thinks he hates people and would rather be alone, but it’s just a front, he really wants more friends. He wants to feel loved and cared for.

he can also be equated to a hedgehog. spiky on the outside, but really is actually soft and cute. and eats bugs sometimes. gotta eat what you can find. 😩 oh yeah anyway just gonna get past his prickles to see his best self

Apep is his grandpa, so ofc with Apep being Bo’ Rai Cho’s student, Bo’ Rai Cho was present through his mother’s life, and Bo’ Rai Cho was there early in Isamu’s life. Too early for Isamu to remember him too well, but he remembers Isamu as a sweet little baby. At one point in his adventures, he bumps into Bo’ Rai Cho, who recognizes him, and from there on Bo’ Rai Cho became like an uncle to him, and is his only bit of family left.

Since Apep was White Lotus, and so is Bo’ Rai Cho, Isamu could become White Lotus since he’s got those connections. It’s really just a matter of if or when he feels ready.

ive got so many more like head canons and stuff i’ve developed him more than this i swear im just drawing a blank atm hjbghfjbg but im super emotionally attached to him 😳 he’s my grumpy beloved

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Broken Wing Job

leverage 5.08

thE MONKEY IN THE BOX

- - - - -

I love how casually she sets up her rigging in headquarters

- - - - -

Hardison: Yeah, basically not true. Look, babe, six weeks of bed rest. Doctor’s orders. Not optional. And don’t forget to take your pain pills, okay?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: They make everything go wibbly-wobbly. (grabs a bottle of orange pop and opens it)

Hardison: Yeah, that’s how you know they’re working.

Parker: But I got to be sharp... on the edge. It’s where I got to be. Can’t have nothing in my life I can’t walk away from in 30 seconds if I feel the heat coming around the corner.

[Equipment Closet]

Hardison: Parker, look, I know that you’re... Wait, hold up, babe, did you just quote “Heat”?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker (chuckling): Yeah, that’s where that’s from. Ha, watched your Netflix queue... Twice.

[Equipment Closet]

Parker: Think I’m going stir-crazy.

Hardison: You think?

wow, this ep already hits different during quarantine

- - - - -

Hardison: Babe, love, kisses, snuggles.

[Equipment Closet]

Hardison: Other romantic verbs. Take your pills, be nice to Amy. Look, we’ll be fine without you. (blows on equipment)

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: Yeah. That’s what I’m afraid of

NOOOOOO EVERYONE LOVES YOU AND WANTS YOU AROUND YOURE BABY

- - - - -

the montage of parker going crazy in the chair HITS SO CLOSE TO HOME IN CORONA SEASON

- - - - -

also parker drinks orange soda when she’s sick ,,, im soft

she probably should be drinking something healthier, though

I’m sure somewhere in the distance eliot’s Stupidity Senses™ are tingling and he’s internally screaming at her for not being healthier

- - - - -

Parker looks at her pill bottle, then at the bear. She begins changing the channel, then offers the remote to the bear)

Parker: Oh, what? You want to choose? Okay, fine. But no “B.J. and the Bear” And no reality dating shows... Except “Beauty and the Geek.” I like that one. Oh, what? You’re gonna sulk now? Okay, fine. I’m just gonna keep choosing, then

I love learning little things about parker, like how she likes beauty and the geek (it probably reminds her of her and hardison)

- - - - -

Parker: Hey, you know, these are really good. No, I’m serious. These are really good. Trust me, I’ve seen some of the best.

Amy: Thanks. I wish you could tell my father that, though.

Parker: Well, has he seen these?

Amy: No. He has never seen any of my artwork. Doesn’t stop him from having an opinion about art school, though.

Parker: What, he’s not a fan?

Amy: Not of any degree that doesn’t have an “m,” a “b,” or an “a” in it. He wants me to take over the family business.

Parker: And what is the family business?

Amy: What isn’t the family business?

okay, y’all, I get it now

I get why everyone loves amy now

it’s because she’s a cinnamon roll with a heart of gold and I too am now in love with her

ALSO parker has come far and she cares about people and compliments people she’s baby

- - - - -

Parker: Who are you guys? (thinks, writes ‘thieves’ on the board) You guys picked the wrong brew pub.

this SCREAMS home alone energy

- - - - -

(Eliot sits meditating with his eyes closed when his phone rings)

Eliot: Parker.

Parker: Hey, what are you doing?

Eliot: I’m waiting. How’s the knee?

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: Ah, driving me to crazy town. Pretty much like it’s on cruise control, cruising me through crazy town. And you know what? Let’s face it. I have way too much to do. This knee—I need to be on a bullet train through crazy town. I don’t have time to stop for gas, go to the museum.

[Tokyo]

Eliot: Parker, breathe. Identify your limitations. Turn them to advantages.

[Leverage Headquarters]

Parker: Okay, good. How do I do that?

[Tokyo]

Eliot: Adapt. I got to go

eliot will ALWAYS pick up for parker, even when he’s about to be attacked by a samurai

- - - - -

the air vents are SO HUGE and I don’t doubt for a minute it’s for parker

- - - - -

Amy: Okay, you want me to what, now?

Parker (hopping around the bench): Those guys are gonna rob this store, right? Which is fine. I don’t mind robbers who aren’t robbing me or my friends or kids or... But they brought a gun to the party, and that changes all the rules.

NOT IN HER HOUSE

plus no guns in their house anyways because Eliot Does Not Like Them and the team accommodates him for that

- - - - -

Parker: Because that’s what you do. I’ve seen your résumé. Volunteer work, charity efforts. Of all the people who work here, do you think Hardison really picked you at random? No. He knew you were one of us.

Amy: Okay, “one of us”? What does that mean, “one of us”?

Parker: People who have to help.

Amy (sighs and holds out her hand)

it’s officially canon that hardison handpicks the BEST people to hire and I love it

- - - - -

I love how they showed how parker was noticing things about the getaway van by taking notes on screen

- - - - -

Parker: Oh. I’m fine. (shrugs off her help) I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it. I’m fine. (nearly falls) Ugh!

Amy: Oh! Okay, tell me.

Parker: Tell you what?

Amy: You know what to do, and I know how to walk. No offense. So let me be your legs.

Parker: It could get scary in there.

Amy: I get it.

Parker: Okay. (hops back to the counter)

I WOULD DIE FOR AMY

+ this is so important how parker is caring about amy and wants her to make sure she knows what she’s getting into

- - - - -

Amy: Right, I’ll just tell them we’re short on servers. We do it all the time when we don’t feel like working. (catches herself) And you’re dating the boss.

Parker: You guys think of him as the boss?

Amy: Well, yeah, because that’s what he is.

Parker: Yeah, guess so. Is he a good boss? Do you—you guys like him?

Amy: What, are you kidding? He’s awesome. But don’t take this the wrong way. He is way too smart for this place.

Parker: I agree. He’s the smartest man I’ve ever met, and I’ve known some very smart men.

Amy: And I asked you about a brother, right?

Parker: Twice

my aesthetic is people in love with hardison (parker and eliot) telling people how hardison is the smartest person they’ve ever known

- - - - -

Parker: Hey. Hey, wait.

(V and K turn to look at Parker, who walks up to V)

V: What?

Parker: I’m gloating.

(Police take the two men away)

SHE H A D TO DO THE GLOAT™

- - - - -

Parker (lifts a glass to toast): To new friends, new food, and no fish.

James: No fish.

Amy: No fish.

(they drink)

Parker: Mmm. Start with Eliot’s chili. It’s the best

parker IMMEDIATELY recommends eliot’s food bc she loves him and supports his passion

- - - - -

PARKER AND AMY SITTING IN THE DARK WATCHING SCARY MOVIES EATING POPCORN IS E V E R Y T H I N G

- - - - -

Nate (eyes the bullet holes in the walls): How were things here?

Parker: Fine. Same. Boring. Like Japan.

Hardison: You know, I don’t believe you. (points at Amy) And, you, you’re a part of this. See this—all this? It’s not just any zombie movie. This the original zombie movie. Babe, it’s on Blu-ray. How is it possible to be bored? You know what we’re gonna do? We’re watching this from the beginning, because, obviously, you’re doing something wrong.

Eliot: I’m in.

Sophie: Sure. Why not?

Nate: Maybe a little more popcorn?

Amy: I’ll get some.

Nate (softly to Parker): Nice job while we were away.

(Parker smiles)

the whole team joining in to watch the movie with parker AND amy!!!

also, nate whispering good job to parker after an entire episode of establishing her as a mastermind? *chef’s kiss* iconique