#it's like another round of this 'everyone needs to do the same action' games

[schnaf]

22 days until ode's 22nd birthday

day 7 - 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[evilbihan]

Bi-Han is an honorable man

I can't believe that I'm making yet another post pointing out the obvious but every time I go into a Youtube comment section I'm starting to question whether me and the rest of the Mortal Kombat fandom have even played the same game.

1. He shows opponents mercy

Sub-Zero: You want peace? Let us be. Liu Kang: The Lin Kuei's sins aren't easily forgiven.

Sub-Zero: Surrender and Shao will show mercy. Mileena: If you believe that, you're a fool.

Sub-Zero: Walk away while you can. Raiden: I'll never give up, never surrender.

Sub-Zero: I won't hold back, Brother. Scorpion: Do your worst.

Sub-Zero: We have no cause for dispute. Kitana: You aided Shao's attempt to steal the throne!

These dialogues honestly speak for themselves already, they don't even need explaining. Compare that to actual villains like General Shao who sends Reiko after Bi-Han to kill him simply because he "doesn't like loose ends" even after Bi-Han saved him or Shang Tsung who killed Reptile's family out of nothing but sheer cruelty.

The fact that Bi-Han is willing to let people walk away from a fight, that he gives them a chance to walk away alive, speaks volumes about his personality. He warns his opponents in his intros and even during his end of round taunts ("Flee now and live."), he tries to solve things peacefully and without violence if possible. He's not bloodthirsty, malicious or eager to kill anyone, but will do so if given no other choice.

Despite Bi-Han's flaws, a man willing to show an opponent mercy is an honorable man. SPOILERS AHEAD: May I again remind you that Kuai Liang is not willing to show a defeated and dying Bi-Han mercy when he gets turned into Noob against his will? Not only that, but Kuai Liang wouldn't have hesitated to kill Frost who is probably around Hanzo's age at his own wedding if Harumi hadn't stepped in to save her. Harumi had to beg Kuai Liang to show someone mercy, while Bi-Han grants it without a second thought. Like it or not, at least in that one aspect, Bi-Han is the better man.

I don't know why some people think of him as this aggressive guy going around trying to pick fights with everyone when all he wants is to be left alone? It's wild to me how people think he's the problem here.

2. He respects/admires their fighting skills

Sub-Zero: You will surely test my might. Ashrah: I will overwhelm it, Sub-Zero.

Sub-Zero: This fight I will long remember. General Shao: Who says you will survive it?

Sub-Zero: I'm pleased to fight Outworld's foremost mage. Rain: Will it also please you to lose?

Sub-Zero: I hear your skills are formidable. Li Mei: As are those of all who have been Umgadi.

Can we also talk about how respectful Bi-Han is towards his opponents? He compliments them on their skills as opposed to Kuai Liang who even talks down to his own allies. Yes, Bi-Han is arrogant, but he can still acknowledge other people's strengths and respect them, even if they are his foes.

3. He admits when he's wrong

Sub-Zero: I was wrong to trust you. General Shao: Yes, Earthrealmer. You were.

Sub-Zero: I wasn't aware of Shang Tsung's experiments. Liu Kang: Had you known, would your choice have been different?

Sub-Zero: Your mother's death is regrettable. Kitana: I consider you complicit, Bi-Han.

You can say what you want about him, but he certainly takes responsibility for his actions and even shows regret over some of them. Bi-Han might not be the most compassionate character, but he does express some sympathy towards others. Compare that to Kuai Liang who tells Havik it's his own fault that his face was burned off as if he had nothing to do with it. Yes, Bi-Han doesn't show much sympathy towards Baraka for his condition, but neither does Kuai Liang. Why Kuai Liang is still considered the more honorable brother regardless of that and his very obvious ableism, is beyond me.

Bi-Han's good traits are all too often overlooked. I don't know if it's because people don't pay attention to intros, but it's so easy to see he's not a bad person deep down. It's just the media comprehension skills of most MK fans that are seriously lacking.

[massivechestplate]

Is anyone else tired over recent events? Not in a sleepy way, but in that bone-deep depression way?

Bit of a long post about the general Gacha game-sphere. Needed to get this off of my chest, might as well scream into the void.

I ask this as someone who flirts between these gacha games out of boredom mostly. They're free, they're phone, they got Story, and I'm not spending a cent on them personally, so that's why I play them.

But every fucking day it seems we got another controversy. Bad VA this, fired an artist that, White_Pharaoh.png being handed out like fucking candy on Halloween lately.

And then we discuss on how Its Bad, and we all know Its Bad, people discuss on what to do, Boycott, torch the franchise and run, stay and try to fix it, ignore it because it's been your Comfort Media for the past 3 years, all that stuff. And it's hard. And a lot of those choices always feel half-assed.

I've been around a bit, I've seen it. I was around when Fate Grand Order had LB7, Wandjina, and all the other shit on 2023 JP hit, and there was talk, some talked but stayed, others left but chose to still engage with Type-Moon works, some might've left completely but I never heard of them.

I was around when Project Moon fired Vellmori, and there was betrayal, some deciding to leave, others staying because Project Moon wormed into their hearts and they decided to stay even knowing what was happening. Knowing what it was now built on and where the lines were drawn.

And I'm here now in the midst of the Hoyoverse shittery round 2, I don't think I need to speak at length on that. We've all seen it.

And all the time every potential choice to take feels half-assed?

Do you leave, abandoning the franchise as if leaving without fighting to improve something makes you good, preserving your own morality at the cost of never making anything better? The lack of evil substituting for substantial good?

Do you boycott? If so is it purely not spending money or not even logging in? Does it even make a difference? After all, when do these oversea companies really listen to anyone outside their country of origin? Is it enough to stop on that one specific game and still buy other works, or do you condemn the whole?

Do you continue on as normal, to indulge in the media? To continue what brings you joy and comfort? Is criticizing and acknowledging the faults enough or just lipservice?

Are we arrogant to impose our values on others, hating foreign companies not conforming to our beliefs? Or is this completely reasonable, every scathing speech and point completely justified and never bordering on some level of sinophobia?

And just... it's hard. Hard enough trying to be a Good Person normally but here? In this space? Part of it feels natural and some action is necessary for the Good of Everything, the other part feels like a big fuss over something ultimately small and meaningless.

And it hurts. You give out pieces of yourself to these stories, let it become a part of you, then become forced to tear it out of your heart just to be Good. And when I say that I don't mean in that internet point "I'm a good person way" but the way of being Good with yourself, proving only to yourself.

And it doesn't help that plenty of us have devolved into humanity's good old passtime of tribalism, mockery, and a lack of empathy for The Other. Everyone's been taking the piss out of the other gacha players for the stuff their games pull as if their own games haven't done the same. Some of it might be in good nature, over exaggerated and self-deprecating, a joke or criticism, but its honestly become indistinguishable from genuine malice and contempt.

And...

I'm tired.

Tired of seeing this. Tired of dealing with it. Tired of wondering what to do, what's the best choice, what choice even is there.

Part of me is honestly tempted to just not care. To accept that I'm a bad person by playing these games and going through with it anyways because I'm so tired and cynical that hedonistic indulgence just becomes more worth it than trying to be good. At most accept a Gacha-game that's a 'Lesser Evil' compared to another, if that even counts.

Because it hurts. Because you let these stories change you, touch you, let them into your heart, and then have to tear it out with your own two hands and pretend it doesn't hurt. And you can't feel like you can mourn what you lost, because someone will come in and start raving about how it's dumb you even cared to begin with.

I've seen arguments for every option, from people I don't respect and people I do, strangers and prominent community figures. I've warred with the argument of "Morally Pure Media doesn't exist, don't beat yourself up over it" and wonder just how absolute that statement should be.

And I don't know.

And all I want is to go to sleep, and wake up and have it magically be better.

[secret-task-tracker]

Session 6

!!Spoilers Below!!

Now with "Tango's" task added!

(Red tasks now in the same post below everyone else's because apparently they actually fit.)

Grian:

"You declared yourself incorrectly successful last session, you must re-roll for hard as punishment.

Cleo's task is: "Stand in a circle of different kinds of flowers and spin" You can't tell her what it is, but you can say warmer and colder as she tries to figure it out. You can tell her when she's done it. The rest of the server knows her task, she does not. She has to figure it out." (All the rest of the server's tasks have Cleo's task tacked on so I'm not going to add this to everyone's entries)"

Status: Re-rolled

"Etho is going to get a warden to the surface, you must get a wither. Make them do battle. You can work together to make this battle happen. The fight must take place a central location."

Status: Achieved

Joel:

"You are Smajor1995's assassin. You must deal a minimum of 10 hearts of damage to them to succeed. You can use other people or any means you please. But if you are called out by them as the assassin, you fail, even if you already dealt the damage. They have one guess"

Status: Failed, (Scott figured him out)

Scott:

"There is an assassination hit out on you from a non-red. If they do at least 10 hearts of damage to you (or through another's actions) or you die, you fail. You have one shot to guess who it is to make them fail even if they already dealt the damage. (you must still get involved in conversations)"

Status: Achieved (correctly called out the assassin)

BigB:

"@/ethenschille2203 Everytime someone takes damage, tell them much too late how it could have been avoided. If you see them about to take damage, you must warn them much too late also."

(they keep making BigB just... watch as his friends take damage, this is his second task of this nature)

Status: Achieved

Etho:

"You ended up with Pearls book at the end of last session, you must re-roll for hard as punishment."

Status: Re-rolled

"Grian is going to get a wither, you must get a warden to the surface. Make them do battle. You can work together to make this battle happen. The fight must take place in a central location. Deep dark can be found at -671 -30 1875."

Status: Achieved

Bdubs:

"You are in a game of chicken with Impulse & Scar. You pass if you win more than 3 chicken competitions. Anyone can declare a round of chicken as long as it's something that will cause damage."

Status: Achieved

Pearl:

"You are an imposter, you must approach any or multiple reds and secretly tell them this task. They can give you any task to damage a green player. If you successfully damage 3 different green names (for any amount) from their instructions, you pass."

Status: Achieved

Scar:

"You are in a game of chicken with Impulse & Bdubs. You pass if you win more than 3 chicken competitions. Anyone can declare a round of chicken as long as it's something that will cause damage"

Status: Achieved

Impulse:

"You are in a game of chicken with Scar & Bdubs. You pass if you win more than 3 chicken competitions. Anyone can declare a round of chicken as long as it's something that will cause damage"

Status: Achieved

Tango:

"You have an imaginary friend who is exactly like Tango. Talk to Tango as if they follow you round the whole session and are part of the conversations. You must interact with other players during this time"

Status: Achieved

Cleo:

"@/jamcdonald120 Everyone else knows what your task is, figure it out and do it. They can't tell you what it is but they can say warmer or colder when you attempt something. A Yellow can not call out this task as everyone already knows what it is. You can not ask, you must attempt to do it."

Status: Achieved

Skizz:

"@/Audreymation You are now the therapist of the server. For the rest of the session, you must guide and give other players advice in a professional manner. The advice does not need to be good advice. You must help players to acknowledge any negative feelings. You can not directly solve their problems, you are there only for emotional support. You fail if called out by a yellow. You can give therapeutic advice to every other player at least once. You can only help someone if they appear down or frustrated."

Status: Achieved

Gem:

"Nothing you say can be true for 30 minutes. If you tell the truth, you must start again."

(Why do they keep making Gem lie?)

Status: Achieved

Mumbo:

"You are Grian's terrible butler. You must do anything they say, but always get some aspect of it wrong. You can tell them you are their butler, but not anything else"

Status: Failed

Red Tasks:

Martyn:

"Hit a green name with a sword until they block you with a shield. If you kill them, you also succeed."

Status: Achieved (with Impulse as the victim)

"Cause any amount of damage to a non-red using an anvil."

Status: Achieved (to "Tango")

"Strike a deal with a non-red to cause at least 3 hearts of damage to another non-red. You succeed when they have dealt the damage."

Status: Achieved (Bdubs -> Scar)

"Summon a mob using an egg to deal any damage to any green."

Status: Past end of session

Timmy:

"Replace the water under the pink diving board with blue glass. You must not be caught. You succeed if they take damage from diving off. You fail if they find it or refuse to jump."

Status: Failed

"Punch another player into lava. It can be lava you have placed"

Status: Failed (low-key because he read it wrong and ended up targeting the wrong person because of it)

Mumbo:

"Cause any amount of damage to a non-red using an anvil."

Status: Achieved (to... "Tango"... again)

"Build a TNT cannon and successfully hit a base from at least 50 blocks."

Status: Failed

"Replace the water under the pink diving board with blue glass. You must not be caught. You succeed if they take damage from diving off. You fail if they find it or refuse to jump."

Status: Debatable (didn't really do the second part did he...)

"Strike a deal with a non-red to cause at least 3 hearts of damage to another non-red. You succeed when they have dealt the damage."

Status: Failed

Lizzie:

"Use redstone to damage a non-red player. You can not hit them with the item, it must be a machine or trap of some kind"

Status: Achieved to her husband...

"Summon a mob using an egg to deal any damage to any green."

Status: Achieved (nearly taking out Skizz in the process)

If I made any mistakes tell me please k thanks byeeeeee

[svechnikovvv]

lovestruck

pairing: quinn hughes x fem!reader

warnings: profanity, as usual

summary: going to that umich game one night would change your life forever.

a/n: something sweet for the quinn girlies <3 i absolutely adored writing this. BUT CANUCKS WON OT AGAINST SAN JOSE. ROUND OF APPLAUSE EVERYONE

masterlist: here

*f/n means friend name*

i'll never forget the time i first met quinn. the night felt like a scene from the romance books i read.

***

i decided to attend a umich hockey game because i was starting to get tired of reading the same highlighted words over and over. the exam isn’t until another month, so i still have plenty of time to study.

once i was ready, about fifteen minutes pass when my dorm room opens and my roommate f/n walks in.

“i’m so glad you agreed to go to this game with me” she said as she sat down

“yeah, well, figured it was time i get out and do something.

“come on,” she grabs my hand and heads towards the door. “we need to get going now if we want good seats.” i lock the door behind me on our way out and we’re on our way to the rink.

when we arrive, there’s already a good amount of people here.

“looks like everyone and their mom is already here,” she says, causing me to laugh. we get out and head inside.

“wait, don’t you have to buy tickets?”

“i already bought them” i pause and look at her

“you were going to make me go even if i said no, weren’t you?” she nods and i playfully roll my eyes, following her into the stands. she managed to get us two good seats by the penalty box. perks of student discount.

today, michigan was playing boston so this was going to be a good game. we arrived early enough, per f/n's request, to “watch them practice.” but i know she just wants a front row seat to eye candy.

this one guy who kept skating past us locked eyes with me a couple times. from what i could see, he was a nice-looking guy.

“number 43 is totally eye-balling you,” f/n leans in and whispers to me.

“do you know his name?” i ask back and she shakes her head no. for a second, he turns, and i see the name ‘hughes’ across his back. she gasps.

“i do know him! he’s in my stats class. smart as hell, too” she nudges me at the last part and a small smile is on my face.

“well what’s his name?”

“quinn” i nod and continue to watch him skate around gracefully as he shoots a couple of warm up pucks in the net. i check my phone for a brief second and f/n starts hitting my arm excitedly. i give her a puzzled look.

“he’s coming over here,” she whispers and i look up to see that, sure enough, he’s skating in my direction. he comes to a halt in front of the tempered glass and he smiles at me.

“can you catch?” i let out a small laugh, nodding regardless. he tosses a puck over the glass and i catch it. he gives me a wink then skates away. i turn it over and scoff.

“that smooth fucker”

“what?” f/n looks over my shoulder and i show her the puck.

###-###-###

call me (;

-quinn

“he did not!” she whisper shouts and i nod

“you better text him. or call him.” i hold up my hand

“scouts honor,” she rolls her eyes and the stands start to fill up more and more. meaning, the puck is about to drop.

it’s halfway through the first period when quinn scores a goal. his next actions are what get to me. after his little celly he does, he skates by and points at me.

“he just fucking made a goal for you,” she says. “y/n, if you don’t make a move, i fucking will. god damn, what does a girl need to do to get laid around here? apparently nothing.” i laugh at her rambling and the game resumes after quinn's goal.

sometime in the second, one of michigan's players was penalized and sent to the box.

"what the actual hell? boston cross-checked one of our players. but let's just kiss their ass because they're angels and can do no wrong." i say, quite upset with the uncalled penalty. i hear a deep laugh and look to my right and see the player on our team that was sent to the box laughing.

"give them hell"

"if the ref doesn't, i sure will" he laughs again

"i'm will"

"y/n" the two minutes then end and will waves goodbye before heading back onto the ice.

"he seemed nice," f/n says and i look at her

"you want him, don't you?"

"what gave it away?"

"everything," i say and turn back to watching the game.

michigan ended up winning and f/n and i screamed our lungs out at the victory. while we were getting up to leave, will skated over and tapped on the glass. i looked up and he pointed in the direction of their locker rooms.

"i was told to tell you to wait out by the locker room" he then skates off and f/n shakes my arm excitedly.

"i bet it was mr. scored-y/n-a-goal. he took one look at you and now he's addicted."

"please. i just met the guy"

"that's not stopping him, is it?" she gives me a look and then tells me she'll be waiting in the car listening to sad adele songs.

i weaved my way through the crowd, finally getting through the cluster of people. when i arrive where i need to be, there's a tall, what i'm assuming, security man standing there.

"can i help you?"

"yeah, uh, will told me someone wanted me to wait for them outside the locker room?" he doesn't budge which makes sense. he probably thinks i'm trying to get free eye candy.

"uh huh. and i'm beyonce" i squint at him and tilt my head to the side slightly.

"i don't remember beyonce having a moustache." i see his jaw clench and i cross my arms back, mirroring him.

"believe me or not, i was asked to be here."

"so was every other girl that tried to use that." i point a finger at him.

"listen pal-" i'm cut off by a door opening and quinn walks out and he looks between the guy and i. he takes in the security man's hard expression and laughs.

"relax, sully. she's here for me" he throws an arm around my shoulders and sully's face drops slightly. i smirk victoriously. quinn then looks at me, smiling softly.

"you got my message?" i nod

"come on, i've yet to hear your voice. but the way will said you were flaming boston, i need to hear you talk." i laugh and when i'm done, i speak.

"to be fair, boston deserved it," he laughs and a big smile is on his face.

"i could listen to you talk forever," he says and i shy away slightly.

"i never caught your name," he says

"y/n" he repeats it to himself and smiles.

"i can get used to saying that. say, y/n, are you free saturday at seven?"

"let me check my calendar," i pull out my phone, but before i even turn it on, i shove it back in my pocket. "yep. seems like i'm all yours"

"you won't regret it," he says, walking backwards to the exit, a dopey smile on his face.

"i better not, hughes!" i call out and shake my head, a smile on my face as i head to the car where f/n was waiting. as i approach the car, i can hear the faint tune of all i ask by adele playing and i let out a quiet laugh.

i knock on the passenger window and she jumps slightly, but looks at me, then unlocking the door. i slide in, immediately met with warmth.

"you stayed true to your word," i tell her and she nods, resting her head on the steering wheel. in the act of doing that, she accidentally laid her head on the horn and she was quick to bring her head back up.

"please tell me something happened so i didn't have this sad session for nothing." i laugh and nod

"he asked me on a date saturday." her eyes light up and her demeanor changes quickly.

"this is amazing for you! i'm so happy for you, y/n" i give her a soft smile and then break the silence.

"but don't worry, f/n. you'll always be my number one. still gotta stick to our plan on fleeing america and becoming the gay wine aunts." she nods

"damn straight. i refuse to let a man take you away from me." i laugh and shake my head.

***

i smile fondly at the memory and quinn softly chuckles from the kitchen.

"what's got you all smiley over there, huh?" i stand up and walk around the island and wrap my arms around his neck, looking into his eyes.

"reminiscing on the night we met. you were a little flirt back in college." he playfully places a hand over his heart.

"you really have a way with words." i hum

"only for you my love" his cheeks go red at the pet name and he rests his head on my shoulder. i find it so adorable when he gets all bashful over the small things. we stay standing there in each other's arms for a while before quinn brings his head back up and looks at me.

"making a move on you that night is something i'll never regret."

"and saying yes to that date is something i'll never regret for as long as i'm still breathing." he smiles and i place a hand on his cheek. he then dips his head down and gives me a kiss and when he pulls apart, he has a love-sick look in his eyes. i'm sure mine hold the same look.

after quinn cooked us dinner, we headed to bed. the two of us were just lying there in the dark, my head rested on his chest.

"marry me." quinn says, breaking the silence. it caught me off-guard and i sit up and look down at him. although it was dark in the room, the moonlight coming in through the curtains shone on his face, illuminating his features.

"you're serious?"

"as serious as i'll ever be" i lean down and pepper kisses all over his face and i can hear his laughs and feel his warm arms around me.

"i would love to marry you, quinn."

"is that a yes?"

"absofuckinglutely" he laughs

"now let's go to sleep... future mrs. hughes."

BONUS:

quinn and i settled down after his impromptu proposal. it was around two in the morning and quinn was already asleep when i started to softly giggle.

"why're you laughing?" quinn groggily asks from behind me.

"i just thought of a new nickname for you," i continue to quietly laugh to myself at the thought that randomly appeared in my head.

"what is it?" his tone is laced with sleep and i laugh one more time before saying the ridiculous nickname i created for him.

"quinoa" i erupt into another fit of laughter and quinn sleepily groans.

"y/n, it's two in the morning. go to sleep" i quiet down and feel quinn's arms go around my waist, pulling me to his front and i eventually fall asleep.

tags: @goldenbrokenheart

a/n: i am absolutely exhausted, but i wanted to get this published (:

[chicgeekgirl89]

Summary: A nightmarish White Elephant gift haunts Carlos for the entire holiday season. Rating: M (no sex, but like...heavy on the implied) A/N: Is this a Christmas fic? Yes. Is it now January? Also yes. But Christmas is a feeling you can have anytime! Read on AO3

“Noooo!!!” 

There’s a collective shout of protest from the entire group as Mateo snatches a mug full of handmade chocolate from Paul and returns smugly to his seat on Owen’s sofa. “I got it for you boo,” he says, smiling up at Nancy with such a lovesick expression that it prompts another groan from everyone.

“Cap that’s not fair! People shouldn’t be allowed to steal gifts for other people!” Marjan protests. 

“You’re just mad because now Paul’s gonna steal your bath bombs!” Mateo tells her, not looking the least bit sorry.

“Yep,” Paul says, hopping up and plucking the bag of bath bombs from her lap.

“Cap!” Marjan protests again, trying to grab it back and failing.

“There is nothing in the rules that says you can’t steal a gift with the intention of giving it away once the game is complete,” Owen says calmly.

“Is there anything that says how unfair it is that the couples get to take home two gifts?” Marjan grumbles, crossing her arms and sinking back into her chair petulantly.

“Maybe you should bring a boyfriend next time then,” Mateo shoots back.

“Okay enough children,” Tommy says calmly from where she’s sitting next to Judd and Grace. “Marjan you get to either steal or pick a new gift.”

“Fine,” she huffs and rolls her eyes. “I will take a new gift.”

Owen’s annual White Elephant party has been in full swing for a couple hours. The food and drinks have been flowing all night and they are deep into their gift exchange. Tommy holds a gift certificate for a local movie theater, Carlos stole a set of ornaments from Nancy two rounds ago, Judd has managed to wrangle a set of freezable beer glasses back after three steals, and Grace has threatened bodily harm to anyone who tries to take the gift card for a pedicure that she unwrapped to start the game. 

It’s been a night full of laughter and holiday spirit, much needed after the last few months. T.K. is snuggled into Carlos’ side, his eyes full of light and happiness. The relief Carlos feels at seeing him enjoy this time with friends and family is palpable. 

“Fine,” Marjan says, putting on that air that says she’s “rising above” even though she’s likely still harboring bitterness inside. “I will choose a new gift.”

She opens a gift bag with snowflakes on it to reveal a “Grow Your Own Avocado Kit” that mollifies her. “Okay Tommy, you’re up,” T.K. says. “Are you stealing or opening?”

“I think I will open,” Tommy says, reaching for a flat-ish gift that’s wrapped in the standard Amazon gift wrap. “I like an element of surprise.”

She puts on a face of fake contemplation and shakes it lightly. “Hope it’s not breakable,” Judd teases. 

“Doesn’t sound like it,” she says, pulling the packaging off. 

She and Grace both realize what it is at the same time and their eyes go comically wide. “Oh…my,” Tommy says as Grace clears her throat and shifts a little, clear amusement on her face.

“What is it Tommy?” Nancy asks, craning her neck to try and see.

“It is um,” Tommy turns it around for everyone to see, “an adult advent calendar.”

For a long moment the only sound in the room is Michael Bublé crooning on about white Christmases and sleigh bells. And in that moment, Carlos should realize that he’s doomed. But he’s too relaxed and full of holiday cheer to realize his fate has been sealed. So instead he sits there in blissful ignorance and doesn’t realize that his fiancé, cuddled sweetly in beside him, is already plotting a course of action that is going to ruin his holiday season.

“Well,” Owen says finally, “that is…an interesting choice. Who um, who decided to bring that gift?”

“It was me!” Mateo says proudly. “My buddy got one last year and said it was awesome. He and his girlfriend really enjoyed doing the activities.”

Carlos winces. Poor Mateo. The kid really doesn’t get it sometimes. 

“Babe,” Nancy says patiently. “What do you think an adult advent calendar is for?”

“I don’t know,” Mateo says, obviously confused by everyone’s reactions. “Like drinking wine and stuff? Things for adults.”

“Mateo, can you really not think of another meaning for the word ‘adult’?” Judd asks.

He wrinkles his forehead in confusion and then it clears, his mouth forming an “o” shape. “Oooooh, adult like…ADULT.”

“There it is,” Paul says with a nod.

Marjan leans over Tommy’s shoulder. “Twenty-four naughty challenges for every fast day,” she reads aloud. “Every fast day? What the hell does that even mean?”

“I think it means this came from a country where English isn’t the primary language,” Grace says in amusement.

“Oh god, Tommy, I’m so sorry!” Mateo says, looking horrified.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Tommy says with a laugh. “I don’t think I’ll be getting much use out of this as a single person, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

The group gets a good laugh at Mateo’s expense and the game moves on. Owen opens a gigantic Hershey bar and immediately goes on a rant about how sugar is a metabolism killer before trying to foist it off on Judd to give to Charlie, and then Marjan steals Grace’s gift card and all hell breaks loose for about ten minutes as vicious gameplay ensues. Carlos loses his ornaments and ends up with the Hershey bar, which, if nothing else, will make his nieces and nephews happy, so it’s not too big of a loss. 

When the dust settles everyone is left with a gift except for T.K. “What’s it going to be T.K.?” Judd asks. “Are you taking the last gift or choosing to restart the violence?”

T.K. looks up at Carlos, a wicked smile on his face and Carlos’ stomach lurches. “Please don’t,” he says.

“Don’t what babe?” T.K. asks innocently.

“You know what,” Carlos says, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. 

Because somehow, in all the chaos, Tommy still has the sexy advent calendar. Apparently no one else is interested in “naughty challenges for every fast day.” But T.K. is always up for naughty challenges. And embarrassing the shit out of Carlos. 

“What are you two whispering about?” Nancy asks suspiciously. “Are you crafting some master plan for stealing these bath bombs? Because you can pry them from my cold dead hands.”

“Relax. I don’t want your bath bombs Nance,” T.K. says in that voice he uses when he’s about to ruin Carlos’ life. It’s the one that’s obnoxiously casual with hints of mischief and delight and it sends fear shooting through him like nothing else.

“Okay well we don’t got until New Year’s, pick a gift T.K.!” Judd says.

“If you insist.” T.K. stands and walks toward Paul only to do an abrupt about face and grab the advent calendar from Tommy instead. “I think we can probably find a way to have some fun with this at our place.”

Carlos dies. He literally dies. He can feel his face going fire engine red. He wishes he could sink into the couch and disappear. He knows T.K. is sex positive. He knows that that entire 126 is far more aware of the intimate details of their bedroom life than he would like. He knows. But rarely does he have to see it flaunted so blatantly in front of his face. In front of his soon to be father-in-law’s face. 

Right now Carlos is also sex positive in that he’s positive they’re never having sex again.

T.K. plops back down next to him and opens it up to a random page. “Ooh look at Day Eighteen babe!”

“I wanna see Day Eighteen!” Mateo comes running and leans over Carlos’ lap to take a look. 

“Don’t look at Day Eighteen, skip right to the end,” Nancy says, snatching it from T.K.’s hands and riffling through the pages. “Game in Santa? Is that like a threesome? Do you have to hire a Santa actor? That feels like something that should have been booked months in advance.”

“Santa actors are indeed very busy this time of year,” Owen says. “And I’d imagine a Santa willing to participate in a threesome is going to be much more expensive than your standard mall Santa.”

Carlos slumps lower in the couch and covers his face with his hands. This is a nightmare.

Carlos is on shift the next day when his phone buzzes with a text message. He and Lexi are on desk duty, working on end of year paperwork. Other people might be unhappy about it, but as much as Carlos enjoys the more active aspects of his job he also finds paperwork soothing. It’s like putting things to bed and tying it all up in a neat little bow. 

Lexi does not agree.

“Whyyyyyy are there so many forms?” she moans, dropping her head dramatically onto her desk, dangerously close to her coffee cup.

Carlos automatically reaches over and moves it to safety. “You’re going to have to do them all over again if you spill coffee on everything.”

“No I won’t. I’ll just send them in covered in coffee stains. That’s admin’s problem.”

“Your desire for perfection is admirable,” Carlos teases her, picking up his phone to find T.K. has sent a picture of their sock drawer. Everything is neatly aligned and perfectly in place, just the way he likes.

Thanks for doing the laundry babe, he texts back. 

Three little dots pop up immediately followed shortly by a second picture, this time of their spice cabinet. Carlos frowns in concentration and zooms in a little bit. “Did he refill all the spices?” he asks under his breath.

“What was that?” Lexi asks, clearly eager to be distracted from her work.

“T.K.’s home today and he’s sending me pictures of his chores,” Carlos says, showing it to her before typing back, Busy day huh? Thanks.

Their sergeant calls them in for an impromptu meeting after that and Carlos doesn’t get to look at his phone again until lunchtime. A third picture greets him, this time of their vacuum, lines apparent on the carpet where T.K. has done some vacuuming. Carlos chuckles to himself, amused by his boyfriend’s antics. Thank you? he responds. What’s with all the extra chores today?

He knows something’s up when T.K. begins responding immediately. Even through the phone he can sense T.K.’s eagerness and glee. Whatever’s going on, T.K. is very proud of himself and probably about to make Carlos just a little crazy.

It’s Day Seven.

Carlos stares at the text, his mind drawing a blank. Day seven of what? December? What does that mean?

He texts T.K. back asking as much and receives yet another picture in reply. Carlos has to bite back an incredulous laugh when he realizes it’s a page from that stupid advent calendar telling them to send suggestive texts to each other throughout the day.

This is your version of sexting? he types out, trying not to smile too obviously. The spice cabinet and the vacuum? Very hot.

The reply comes immediately. No, it’s your version of sexting. This is my version of sexting.

The dots disappear for just long enough that Carlos gets distracted by a couple forms that need his signature. When he absentmindedly checks his phone again a few minutes later his jaw drops.

T.K. has sent a selfie of himself in front of their bathroom mirror. His shirt is unbuttoned, chest fully exposed, his belt and the button on his pants undone so they’re slung low on his hips with the waistband of his boxers peeking out tantalizingly over the top. And his face, god his face. Most of the time T.K. looks like a giddy little boy. But with his head tipped back, eyes half closed, mouth slightly open, god, he looks like… 

Fuck.

“Carlos? You okay?” Lexi asks, bringing Carlos crashing back into the present and his current location.

He shifts a little and immediately turns his phone screen off. “Yeah, just um, just need a break I think.”

She nods. “See? Told you. All this paperwork is bad for you.”

“Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat, heat still pooling in his midsection. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Don’t rush. The paper’s not going anywhere,” she says.

He slips into the locker room, checking to make sure no one is around before locking himself in one of the bathroom stalls. He taps T.K.’s name and it takes only one ring before his boyfriend is picking up. “Hey baby.”

“Jesus Christ T.K.,” Carlos says. “I’m at work.”

“I’m aware.” T.K.’s voice is full of delight. 

“You’re going to kill me,” Carlos says, letting his head fall back against the cool metal of the stall wall.

“Mmm might you be a fan of the advent calendar after all?” 

Carlos huffs. “No. I have,” he checks his watch, “four more hours before I can get home to you. I very much do not like the advent calendar right now.”

“Four hours huh?” T.K. says. “I can send a lot of sexy text messages in four hours…”

“T.K. I swear to god, do not keep sending me stuff here. I’m going to turn my phone off.”

It buzzes as he speaks and he pulls it away from his ear to see yet another text message. “Just one to remember me by then,” T.K. says, his voice flirty. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

And then he’s gone, leaving Carlos alone and turned on as hell. He sucks in a breath and tries to give himself a stern talking to about professionalism and decency.

It barely works. 

He equal parts wants to worship T.K. and murder him.

He can’t help himself. He opens the last text. Couldn’t resist, it reads and then there’s a picture of T.K. in nothing but his boxers, lip caught between his teeth, his free hand so suggestively placed that Carlos considers faking sick and rushing home as fast as he can.

Instead he hardens his resolve. Two can play at this game. 

He flicks through the pictures on his phone, settling on a selfie he took a couple weeks ago. He’d really been feeling himself after a heavy lifting session and snapped it in the gym bathroom. His shirt is pulled up between his teeth, his curls messy and sweaty in a way he knows T.K. thinks is sexy as hell. You can just make out the faint outline of a bulge in his shorts. 

Carlos smirks as he sends it, then turns his phone off without waiting for a reply. He has to make it through the rest of the day and that’s not going to happen if T.K. keeps texting.

When his shift is over he stops at the grocery store to grab more cheese and a salad to go along with the pasta they’re having for dinner. He gets home a little after six, his mouth watering at the smells of tomato and garlic that are swirling from their loft out into the hallway. “Hi!” he calls as he steps inside and slips off his shoes.

“Hi.” T.K. steps out of the kitchen, an apron over his clothes and an amused smile on his face as he gives Carlos a welcome home kiss.

Carlos rolls his eyes. “Dinner smells good.”

“Should be ready in a few minutes.” T.K. watches as he sets down his work bag and starts looking through the mail that’s on their console table. “Have you checked your phone lately?”

“I turned it off,” Carlos tells him. “You were extremely distracting and I didn’t think I could make it through the rest of my shift if you kept texting.”

T.K. takes a step closer, false casualness coloring his voice. “You might want to take a look.”

Carlos sets the mail down. “If I look at more dirty pictures of you now we’ll never eat dinner. And I’m starving.”

“I think my dirty pictures are the least of your worries,” T.K. says, glee lighting up in his eyes. “Your picture on the other hand…”

Carlos smiles as he pulls his phone out and powers it back up. “Oh you liked that huh?”

“I definitely liked it. And so did everyone else.”

“Everyone else? What are you talking abo—“ Carlos’ eyes go wide as forty-six missed messages pop up onto his screen. The most recent one is from Judd, and when he opens the text thread he finds that—

“Yeah, you sent your revenge thirst trap to the 126 group chat babe,” T.K. tells him.

Horror fills Carlos from top to bottom as he scrolls through the messages.

“Whoa, what is this, Thirst Trap Thursday?”- Paul

“Dang, do you lift bro?”- Mateo

“Oh Carlos, sweetie, I think you sent this to the wrong person.” -Tommy

“Okay Officer Hottie!”- Nancy

They go on and on, everyone chiming in at one point or another, including Owen, who offers to hook Carlos up with his supplement regimen the next time they’re at the house and culminating in a text from Judd asking everyone to stop forking texting, his phone hasn’t stopped buzzing for an hour.

Carlos has never been more mortified in his entire life. “Oh my god,” he says.

“Deep breaths. You’re okay,” T.K. says, patting him gently on the back.

Carlos pulls back and glares at him. “This is your fault!”

“Pretty sure I didn’t send my sexy pics to the wrong group thread. How is it my fault?”

“You and that stupid advent calendar! This never would have happened if you’d just let Tommy keep it!”

“It’s one picture Carlos. Everyone will have forgotten about it by tomorrow.”

(No one forgets. They bring it up all the time. They blow it up to poster size and hang it in T.K.’s locker at work. They send a graffitied version of it to Carlos on his birthday. The following year’s white elephant exchange includes a copy in a garish frame.)

Carlos crosses his arms over his chest. “We’re getting rid of it.”

T.K. snorts. “No we’re not.”

“Yes we are!”

“It’s my gift! You can’t throw away a gift!”

Carlos clenches his jaw. “That thing is trouble T.K. I don’t want it around anymore.”

T.K. steps closer. “That’s funny. Because usually you like it when I get into trouble.”

“Do not start with that.”

“Come on baby,” T.K. says, his tone flirty and suggestive. “We were having a pretty good time with it before all this.” He runs a finger along the buttons on Carlos’ shirt. “I thought that picture was hot. And I like that everyone knows this beautiful body is all mine.”

God help him, something inside of him unspools when T.K. talks like this. “Your dad saw it. And Tommy,” he protests, the embarrassment lingering.

“Tommy sees bodies all the time at work,” T.K. says. “And my dad really doesn’t care. Honestly it’s kind of surprising he didn’t send a selfie back.” He looks up at Carlos through his lashes. “Let’s have dinner and then I’ll make you forget about anything except how hot we both are, okay?”

He must be the weakest man alive. “Okay,” he says. “But you have to promise me that that stupid calendar will stay between us from now on.”

“I promise,” T.K. says, patting his chest. “Only the two of us will know anything about it.”

“Good,” Carlos says in relief.

A couple weeks later Carlos comes home from Christmas shopping, struggling to find his keys as he exits the elevator with an armload of bags full of gifts for his family and T.K. He’s so focused on trying to extract his keys from his pocket without dropping anything that he doesn’t notice their front door is slightly ajar until he’s reaching toward the lock. 

He immediately goes on high alert. T.K. had texted he was on his way home five minutes ago. There’s no way he could have gotten here so fast. And even if he had, there’s no way he would have left the door ajar.

Carlos carefully sets down his bags and pulls out his phone as he eases the door open a little further, peering carefully inside. There’s music blasting and the smell of cookies in the air. Are they being robbed by the Keebler elves?

He ventures in a little further, body tense and ready for a fight, when out of nowhere there’s a blood curdling scream and he has to duck as a mixing bowl comes flying at his head. “Whoa!” he yells as it crashes to the floor behind him, splattering something all over their entryway.

“Carlos?! What the fuck?!”

He looks up to find his sister staring at him. “Cesca! Oh my god!”

“You scared the shit out of me!” she yells angrily.

“You scared the shit out of ME!” he yells back, rubbing his chest where his heart is still thundering away.

“Why is everyone yelling?" Adriana appears from the bedroom looking confused and mildly annoyed, giving him his second heart attack of the last three minutes. 

“Why are you both in my house?!” he asks incredulously. 

“We’re baking cookies,” Francesca says, as if this is totally normal and acceptable.

“Don’t you have an oven at your place?” Carlos asks.

“It’s broken,” Adriana tells him, as she walks around the couch and then spots the mess the mixing bowl left on the floor. “Cesca, what the fuck? We’re going to have to make the icing all over again.”

“He broke in and scared me! I had to defend myself!”

“I didn’t break in, this is my house!” Carlos says. “And you left the door open!”

“Sorry you have a weird ass bougie slidey door that’s difficult to close,” Cesca mumbles with a roll of her eyes as she returns to the kitchen.

His heart finally returning to normal, Carlos steps outside and retrieves his bags and then firmly closes and locks the door behind him. He’d prefer if his cousin and sister were on the other side, but getting rid of them is harder than getting rid of Christmas card glitter. He’s just going to have to accept their presence in his home until they get tired or bored and leave. 

“Why didn’t you just go to Mom and Dad’s?” Carlos steps around the sticky mess on the floor to deposit his purchases on the couch before going in search of a towel to clean it up.

“We did,” Adriana says. “Your mom kicked us out.”

Carlos picks up the mixing bowl and swipes a finger along the icing inside, popping it in his mouth as he heads toward the kitchen sink. “Why would she kick you out for baking cookies?”

His eyes land on the kitchen counter and he stops dead in his tracks. Every square inch is covered in gingerbread people, some of them already decorated, some of them still plain brown. But decorated or not, one thing is very, VERY clear. Every. single. one. is having sex.

“Tía Andrea claimed it was pornographic,” Adriana says, picking up a piping bag to add some details to a pair that are doing it doggy style. 

Carlos feels like he’s having an out of body experience. His sister and cousin have always pushed the envelope of decency a little bit, but this is another level entirely. And he’s completely trapped. If he expresses dismay they’ll call him a prude. If he says nothing, he risks this happening again. 

“We call it The Caramel Sutra,” Francesca tells him. “It’s for our Christmas party.”

“You and T.K. are invited, by the way,” Adriana says. “It’s on Friday.”

“I think we’re busy,” Carlos says, his voice strained. Does he yell? Does he run? Does he go in the bedroom and shut the door until they leave? 

“Oh my god, not you too,” Francesca says with a roll of her eyes. “That’s the same look Mom had on her face right before she started yelling at us to get our smutty cookies out of her kitchen.”

“I mean, they’re pretty…aggressive,” Carlos says.

“They’re just cookies,” Adriana says. “Don’t stand there and pretend like you’re some kind of prude. We know what you and T.K. get up to around here.”

She picks up something off the counter and waves it at him. Hot dread spikes through him as he recognizes the god damn Sexy Advent Calendar. “Where did you get that?” he asks.

“It was on your bed,” she says. 

Damn it T.K.

Despite his best efforts to get T.K. to forget about the calendar, he’s given in a few times and allowed his boyfriend to use it to spice things up. Most of the suggestions are ridiculous, but Carlos has to begrudgingly admit that a few have been kind of fun. Still, he hadn’t expected anyone else to see the stupid thing.

“Why were you in my bedroom?” he asks, trying to keep his voice even, still not rising to the bait they’re dangling in front of him. 

“I was using your bathroom,” she says. She flips a couple of pages. “Did you guys try Day Nine? Oooh Tía Maria is going to make you go to confession for that one.”

“What’s Day Nine?” Francesca asks, wiping her hands on a towel and leaning over to see. “Oh god. Wow. Do you have that hip flexibility?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Carlos says, unable to stand it any longer. “Give it to me.”

He holds out a hand but Adriana pulls it back. “No. I’m getting ideas.” She pulls out her phone. “Hold still.”

“Now what are you doing?” he asks.

She lifts the calendar and snaps a photo of it with him in the background. “Perfect. I’m going to hold onto this in case I ever need it for blackmail.”

“Adriana, give me the calendar,” he demands in his best police officer voice.

It does not work. 

She flips another page. “Oooh lap dance on Day Twelve! Nice that T.K. got to revisit his stripper roots on that one.”

He lunges for her, his hand closing around air as she darts away from him into the living room. “Adriana I am not kidding!” he yells as he follows her.

She runs around the couch, facing him down on the other side as she flips another page. “Tell us Carlos, what is your ‘free naughty wish’?” 

“My current wish is that you leave here and never come back!” he says, feinting to the left and then dashing to the right to try and catch her.

She squeaks and evades him again by climbing up onto the couch cushions, holding the calendar high above her head. 

“Get down from there! No shoes on the furniture!” Carlos yells.

“Throw a pillow at him!” Francesca says from where she’s mixing new frosting and watching the entire situation unfold.

He turns around sharply and glares at her. “Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

He changes course and stalks toward her. “Oh hell no Carlitos,” she says, cutting through the dining room and holding the mixing bowl threateningly above the floor in front of Lou II’s aquarium. “I will drop this on your carpet and I will not feel bad about it.”

“Day four seems messy,” Adriana says.

“Stop reading it!” Carlos yells.

“Um, hi?” 

They all turn toward the once again open loft door to find T.K. standing there, his work bag in hand. 

“T.K.! You’re here!” Francesca says in delight.

Carlos uses the momentary distraction to vault the couch and snatch the calendar from a shocked Adriana. She lets out a squawk and topples into the cushions as he lands on the other side, triumphant. “Hey babe,” he says, slightly breathless. “Welcome home.”

“This looks fun,” T.K. says, that gleam in his eyes that says he’s going to be of absolutely no help to Carlos. 

Everyone dreams that their family will get along with their significant other. Sometimes Carlos dreams that T.K. would get along a little worse with his.

“T.K. I need to know, who was on top when you did Day Thirteen and do you have regrets?” Adriana asks.

“Our personal life is none of your business!” Carlos hisses at her.

“Then why did you leave your sex-vent calendar out in the open?”

And that is when Carlos loses it. He’s sixteen years old again, the two of them invading his privacy, and he reacts accordingly. “IT WASN’T IN THE OPEN IT WAS IN OUR BEDROOM AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AT ALL!”

There’s a brief moment of silence as they all process his outrage. And then, “T.K. want a cookie?” Francesca asks.

“I would love one,” T.K. says. “But I think your brother might combust if I don’t talk him down a little bit first.”

She shrugs. “They’re here when you’re ready.”

“I’m fine,” Carlos snaps when T.K. walks over to him.

“Mmmm okay,” T.K. says, amusement on his face. “Come on, come here for a minute.”

Carlos follows him into the bedroom and stands stiffly with his arms crossed as T.K. shuts the door, giving the illusion of privacy even though his sister and cousin can probably still hear every word. “This is why we should have gotten rid of this thing!” Carlos yell whispers at his boyfriend, shaking the calendar angrily. “You can’t leave it lying around! My family has no boundaries! They wander in and out at will! This is our private sex life and I don’t want them to be a part of it!”

“I know,” T.K. says calmly, prying it gently from his fingers. “I get it. I’ll make sure it gets put away where no one can find it.”

“Thank you,” Carlos says, releasing an angry breath. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to come home to this.”

“Carlos I am familiar with the ways of your sister and your cousin. It doesn’t surprise me anymore to come home and find them hanging around.”

“Does it surprise you that they broke into our home to bake pornographic cookies in our oven?” Carlos says bitterly.

T.K.’s eyebrows rise. “That…is a little surprising, yes.”

“Well that’s what’s happening. So, yeah.”

He sits down on the bed and tosses the calendar down beside him. T.K. steps forward until their knees bump together. “You know what might help?” he asks gently.

“What?” Carlos asks, still feeling moody and pissed off at his family.

T.K. rubs a hand up and down his arm, that gleam back in his eye. “If we try out Day Sixteen again.”

Carlos flashes him a sour look. “I hate you.”

“But you loved Day Sixteen,” T.K. says, pushing a hand into Carlos’ curls. 

That’s true. And T.K.’s sweet smile and bright eyes and the way his fingers feel in Carlos’ hair make his stomach do that stupid flippy thing that always happens when T.K. is around and he feels himself teenage angsting a little less. But then he glances down at the advent calendar beside him and remembers what a nightmare it’s been.

“I don’t think we should use it anymore,” Carlos says.

“Not even for Day Sixteen?” T.K. tries.

“We don’t need a calendar for Day Sixteen. We already know how to do it.”

T.K. sighs. “Fine. You win. I will get rid of the advent calendar.” 

“Really?”

“Yes. Really. It’s clearly bothering you, so I’ll make it disappear.”

A smidgen of guilt flitters through Carlos, but the relief at not having to worry about the unpleasant side effects the calendar seems to bring them overpowers it. “Can you get rid of my sister and cousin too?” He realizes he sounds whiny, but he’s too wound up to care.

“I will.” T.K. says. “But it might take a little while. You know how difficult it is to get them to leave.”

Carlos sighs. “I know.”

“And your mom would probably want us to invite them to stay for dinner.”

“Ugghhhh,” Carlos groans. “Fine.”

T.K. steps back and holds out a hand. “Now come on. I’m actually dying to see these cookies.”

Carlos lets T.K. pull him to his feet. “I knew you would be.”

Noche Buena has always been chaos at his parents’ house, and it’s only gotten crazier since his sisters started getting married and having kids. Their family seems to expand by at least ten people a year and everyone has an open invitation to show at up at any point throughout the night.

Carlos goes over early to help with tamale assembly. The house is already full of family even though it’s early yet. His sisters are all here with their husbands and kids, and a few cousins, tíos, and tías have shown up to help with food prep too. He smiles as he listens to his mom and Tía Maria argue over how much salt to use in the masa. They have the same argument every year and every year the tamales are exactly as good as the year before no matter how much or how little salt they put in. 

He’s stirring what equates to a vat of sauce when the doorbell rings. “I’ve got it Andrea, your hands are full,” Tía Lucy says as his mother searches in vain for a towel on which to wipe them.

She disappears from the kitchen and seconds later he hears her exclaim, “T.K.! Feliz Navidad, come in, come in!”

“T.K. is here?” The words are spoken nearly in chorus and the next thing Carlos knows he’s been left completely alone as every woman in the house flocks to the front door. When they return they have his boyfriend in tow. 

“Now you know that you are family in this house, no more ringing the doorbell mijo,” Carlos’ mom is chastising him as they walk in, the rest of the group murmuring their agreements and insistence that he simply walk in and out at will like everyone else as they return to their food prep duties.

“I’ll remember for next time,” T.K. promises, even though Carlos knows full well that he won’t. 

“T.K.! Come taste this!” Lucía, one of Carlos’ middle sisters, holds out a cookie toward him.

He takes it dutifully, his eyes finding Carlos’ and sparkling with joy. Sometimes Carlos feels like his family is some kind of zoo exhibit, wild and crazy and amusing to anyone on the outside. But T.K.’s brightness and exuberance have fit seamlessly into the mix. In fact sometimes Carlos thinks T.K. fits in better than he himself ever has. 

“Ay, let the man kiss his boyfriend. They haven’t seen each other in hours,” Teresa says over the chatter, her Mrs. Claus apron fluttering as she bends over to check on things in the oven.

They let him through the crowd and Carlos pauses his stirring to give T.K. a brief peck on the lips. “Welcome to the crazy,” he says with a smile.

“I love the crazy,” T.K. reminds him.

“I know,” Carlos says, warmth filling him from head to toe. “Don’t let them talk your ear off. Oh,” he lowers his voice, “and definitely do not answer if Tía Maria and Tía Dolores ask you whose pozole is better. It’s a trap.”

“Got it,” T.K. says, giving him a mock salute with his un-cookied hand.

“Carlos! The sauce will burn! Stir!” Tía Maria calls out sternly and Carlos quickly returns to his duties. 

T.K. is pulled away after that, plied with food and drinks and taken to the living room for conversation by most of the tías. “Mom, go with them,” Elena urges. “We’ll handle things in here.”

“There’s still so much to do,“ his mom protests.

“We’ve got it,” Lucía insists. “Go.”

She looks reluctant, but removes her apron. “Don’t let Adriana and Francesca touch the masa.”

“Hey!” they protest at the same time from where they’re seated on the counter’s barstools, both of them halfway through their second glasses of wine and doing absolutely nothing to help.

“You heard me,” she says, giving them all a warning look before disappearing out the door.

Carlos switches hands, his right arm aching from stirring. Teresa sidles up to him. “So,” she says. “How’s the advent calendar working out for you?”

Carlos whips around. “I’m going to murder you!” he says, holding the dripping spoon out like a weapon at his sister and cousin. He should have known they wouldn’t keep it to themselves. 

“No murder during the holidays,” Teresa tells him.

“What?” Francesca asks. “She asked how you guys were doing. What was I supposed to say?”

“Literally anything else,” Carlos tells her through gritted teeth.

“I think it’s fun,” Lucía says. “You’ve gotta keep things interesting somehow.”

“But not too interesting. That’s how you end up like this,” Elena says, rubbing a hand over her pregnant belly.

“Good thing Carlos and T.K. don’t have that problem,” Adriana says. “All fun and no consequences.”

“Tell us about Day Nine,” Lucía says, her eyes sparkling. “That sounded very fun.”

“Since when did we become a family that discusses our sex lives?” Carlos asks, feeling suddenly hot and short of breath.

“Oh we’ve always talked about it,” Elena tells him. “You’ve just never gotten to be part of it because you’ve never brought a boy home before.”

“Sh! Shut up!” Teresa hisses, all of them going quiet as Tía Maria reenters the kitchen. 

She looks at them suspiciously. “Your mother wants the green tablecloth with the poinsettias on it.”

“I’ll get it,” Francesca says, hopping off her bar stool and opening a drawer next to the pantry. “Here you go.” She’s doing this fake sweet innocent thing with her face that makes her look even more guilty.

“Gracias,” Tía Maria says, still eyeing them all as if she knows exactly what they were just talking about. “Carlos, you’re not stirring.”

“Sorry tía,” he says, quickly turning around and going back to work. 

She gives them all one more look and then leaves. Carlos puts his spoon down and turns on his sisters. “And that is just one reason why I don’t like talking about my sex life. Are you trying to get me lectured on Christmas Eve?”

“God don’t be such a prude,” Adriana says with a roll of her eyes, popping a chocolate into her mouth and talking around it. “You’re over here gatekeeping the good stuff from us.”

“I’m not gatekeeping anything,” Carlos says. “You could get that stupid calendar on Amazon if you really wanted it. And we didn’t even finish it anyway.”

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?” Elena asks.

“Did one of you get a sex injury?” Francesca wants to know.

“God I can’t remember the last time I had a sex injury,” Lucía says wistfully.

“No!” Carlos says. “I told him we had to stop because everyone kept asking us about it.”

There’s silence in the kitchen. “You quashed your boyfriend’s holiday sex fun?” Teresa asks. “Yikes Carlos. Not good.”

“What a Scrooge,” Adriana mutters.

And odd mix of guilt and embarrassment floods through him. “I—it was—“

“Someone literally handed you a book of Christmas sex ideas and you turned it down,” Francesca shakes her head. “I’m ashamed to call you family.”

“Rejecting your partner can be very damaging to the relationship,” Lucía says as if she’s reciting from a self-help book. “Especially at the holidays.”

“I really don’t need your advice thanks,” Carlos says, even as her words hit home. Has T.K. been feeling rejected? He hasn’t seemed off or upset but…sometimes T.K. is really good at hiding things from him.

“Just saying this is Texas. There are plenty of other Carlos Reyeses around if T.K. feels like you’re not respecting his interests,” Francesca tells him right before she drains her wine glass.

“Okay, we’ve made the poor boy suffer enough. Let’s leave it,” Teresa says, finally taking back the reins of peacemaking oldest sister. “But seriously Carlos,” she says, leaning closer so only he can hear, “you should live a little. Before you know it you’re old and married and have to schedule sex on Google calendar between karate classes and PTO meetings. Take advantage while you’re both still young and fun.”

Carlos feels stricken. He continues stirring automatically, but as soon as he can persuade Lucía to take over he goes to find T.K. 

His boyfriend is laughing at something Tía Lucy is saying and Carlos pauses for a moment to appreciate how natural T.K. looks sitting with the rest of the Reyes clan. If T.K. thinks organizing their sock drawer is the sexiest thing he could possibly do, he is deeply, deeply wrong. Seeing T.K. fit into their family like he’s always been there is a massive turn on.

But there are more important matters at hand so Carlos pulls himself back to the moment and interrupts. “Hey, sorry tía. T.K., can I talk to you for a second?”

“Ooh some Christmas secrets? Or are you two off to kiss under the mistletoe?” Tía Lucy asks, the sparkle in her eyes matching the one Lucía had earlier. “Wait! I have some in my pocket you can use.”

“That’s okay, we’re good,” Carlos says, waving her off as T.K. gets to his feet. “We’ll be right back.”

T.K. follows him up the stairs and down the hall to his childhood bedroom. “Everything okay babe?” he asks when the door is shut securely behind them, his brow furrowed in concern.

“Did I make you feel rejected?” Carlos asks. “When I said no more advent calendar?”

“Rejected? What are you talking about?” T.K. asks in confusion.

“I told you no more advent calendar. Did that make you upset?” 

“I mean…it was kind of a bummer,” T.K. admits. “I was having fun and I thought you were too when you weren’t sexting our friends or chasing your family around the loft.” He shrugs. “But it’s fine. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” T.K. says, patting his stomach reassuringly. “Come on. Tía Lucy was about to tell me about the time she went paragliding in Hawai’i.”

T.K. heads out the door and back to the party, leaving Carlos to relive the kitchen conversation on his own. All he can think about is scheduling sex on Google calendar. Which sounds exactly like something he would do. And he absolutely does not want that to be their future. 

Maybe his sisters are right. Maybe he is too much of a prude. 

Carlos looks around and spots his dad’s printer. Before he can second guess himself he grabs a piece of paper and goes to work. 

XXX

T.K. is woken by soft, but persistent kisses. He inhales deeply, eyes fluttering open, gritty with lack of sleep. “Hey,” he grinds out.

“Merry Christmas,” Carlos says softly, pressing another kiss to his lips, then sliding his body over until he’s draped across T.K.’s torso. He trails kisses across T.K.’s collar bone, around his pec, and then back up to his neck.

“Mmm, that’s nice,” T.K. says, shifting a little bit to get more comfortable.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

They’re crammed into the full size bed in Carlos’ childhood bedroom, but T.K. doesn’t mind a bit. It means they have to snuggle close, cuddling each other while they sleep.

Last night they’d donned matching pajamas and stayed up late playing games with Carlos’ sisters and brothers-in-law after the kids went to bed. T.K. had stuffed his face with tamales and buñuelos and laughed at the antics of the Reyes children. They’re a special kind of chaos and it’s very funny to see his calm, sweet boyfriend absolutely lose his shit over a board game. 

T.K. skates a hand across Carlos’ bicep and up the back of his neck, toying with the soft curls he finds there. “What time is it? Do we need to get up?”

Carlos shakes his head. “I don’t hear the kids yet.”

T.K. blinks a few times and squints so he can focus on the alarm clock next to the bed. “Carlos!” he squawks. “It’s five o’clock in the morning!”

“I know,” Carlos says, nuzzling into his neck.

“Baby.” It comes out on a long suffering groan. “We’ve only been asleep for like four hours.”

“We need to take care of the final day of the advent calendar before everyone wakes up,” Carlos tells him softly, his nose brushing against the shell of T.K.’s ear.

T.K. frowns and pulls back a bit, forcing Carlos to lift his head and look at him. “The advent calendar is done. The last day was yesterday.”

“Mmmm, are you sure about that?”

“Yes?” T.K. says in confusion. “It was Game in Santa. Which we couldn’t figure out.”

“You know I’ve always thought it was kind of lame that you don’t get anything from an advent calendar on the twenty-fifth,” Carlos says. “It seems like you should get an even bigger gift.”

“I think that’s the point. You get something every day and then all your Christmas gifts on the twenty-fifth,” T.K. tells him.

“I don’t like it,” Carlos tells him.

T.K. snorts. “I’ll be sure and submit your complaint to the advent calendar council.”

“Good,” Carlos says, nuzzling down into his chest again. “But for now, I think you should check the advent calendar and make sure we didn’t miss anything.”

“The advent calendar is at home.”

“Is it?”

“It should be since you made me swear on my life that I would hide it away from any prying eyes.”

Carlos rolls away from him and reaches over the side of the bed, dropping a piece of computer paper on his chest. “Carlos what on earth?” he asks with a laugh.

“Take a look,” Carlos says, a smirk on his face.

T.K. reaches over and turns on the bedside lamp and squints as he reads Carlos’ bold handwriting.

Day 25: Fulfill a Fantasy.

He looks up at Carlos, a questioning look at his face. “What does this mean?”

“What do you think it means?”

“I—-I have no idea. You’re going to have to spell it out babe.”

Carlos pushes up onto an elbow and uses his free hand to grip T.K.’s hip, stroking his thumb back and forth right along the waistband of his pajama pants. “You stole Adriana’s phone last night.”

“You saw that?”

“I did,” Carlos says. “You deleted the blackmail photo she took of me and the calendar, didn’t you?”

“Very good detective,” T.K. says with a chuckle.

“You took care of me,” Carlos says, his voice low. “I think you deserve something special for that.”

He pulls T.K. closer and kisses him, firm and insistent, his mouth warm and wet and it sends sparks flittering through T.K.’s core. He pulls back for a second. “Are we going to have sex in your childhood bedroom?”

“Mhm,” Carlos says, diving in for another kiss.

T.K. lets him go for a second and then pulls back again. “We’re not allowed to have sex in your childhood bedroom. You tell me all the time that we’re not allowed to have sex in here.”

“I know.” Another kiss.

“Then what—?” 

“Isn’t it one of your fantasies to have sex with me in here?”

“I mean yeah but—“

“Well,” Carlos says, trailing a finger down T.K.’s bare stomach so that his muscles jump and twitch under his touch. “Let’s consider this a one-time special Christmas gift. But you are going to have to be very, very quiet.”

“What if your sisters walk by?”

“The door is locked.”

“What if your mom walks by?”

“T.K. do you want to do this or not?”

God he’s so turned on right now. Carlos’ fingers dip beneath the line of his boxers and T.K. arches into his touch, letting out a moan that Carlos immediately swallows in another kiss. “Yes,” he says breathlessly when Carlos releases him from it. “God yes, yes, yes.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“This is going to get us both on the naughty list,” he says.

Carlos laughs. “I think I can deal with that for one year.”

Tagging some people who might be interested in reading: @lemonlyman-dotcom, @liminalmemories21, @carlos-in-glasses

[lurkerwithcomputer]

It's WIP Wednesday

The bitter, antiseptic hospital stink is much less unpleasant when masked by Shiragin's scent, sitting right next to her. Saiko sips soda from the giant sippy-cup Maman brought her. The way Mucchan thought to bring everyone else's handheld too warms her. Saiko inhales the scents of her squad, and the cold, dull knot her recent close call left in her chest loosens.

Saiko leans back into the pillows, puts her feet up on the bed tray, and starts up a game – multiplayer, of course. She knows that this position, in this kind of hospital gown, gives a bit of a show, but they've seen her in just an oversize tshirt before.

Shiragin stares, Uribo glares as usual, and Mucchan goggles, looking something other than anxious for once. Maman's look of mortified confusion pulls a giggle and a grin out of her.

"Are you seriously playing videogames with your toes?" says Shiragin, sounding kind of impressed, "every time I learn more about you, you get weirder," he adds, but there's no bite to it.

"I'm weird and you like it," she teases back.

"Guilty as charged," Shirazu says.

That gets a laugh out of everyone, even permanently-grumpy Uribo snorts. Maman taps his foot to the game's music and watches over Mucchan's shoulder. Saiko's not sure how much time has passed, but it's several days and nights of Undeath Harvest later, and Maman stands up.

"Excuse me, I need to go write up the paperwork for this," Maman looks around at the squad, a strangely uncomfortable look on his face, "don't cause too much trouble!"

This gets another round of laughs out of everyone, except Uribo. Maman waves as he steps out of Saiko's hospital room. Saiko looks back to her game – and mashes buttons to avoid the carnivorous vines bursting out of the ground. Their conversation turns into occasional videogame chatter.

"C'mere everyone, there's a rare material over here!"

"No, Urie, your left!" says Shiragin.

"Eep! a little help here?" Mucchan interrupts.

Uribo's character hacks and slashes through a thicket of wild tomatoes that open into toothy, four-part mouths. Mucchan huffs out a relieved sigh. Shiragin's character vaults a tombstone to reach the glowing pineapples growing from a pile of skulls.

Mucchan keeps looking over at her whenever there's a lull in the action, and the conversation takes another turn.

"Um, not to be rude, but..." Mucchan starts, "how did you learn to do that?"

"Play with my toes? Broke my arm a few years ago," Saiko replies over a commiserating "ouch" from Shiragin, "kept doing it so I can play and snack at the same time," she adds.

Uribo groans, and Saiko feels a grin tug at her cheeks.

"Who's up for another round of this?" Saiko asks.

"...Why not." mutters Uribo.

"I'm staying as long as possible," says Shiragin.

Another round, more chatter. More spreading warmth from her chest outwards. A squirm and a clench from her regrowing arms. Footsteps and a stranger's scent, from out in the hall. A nurse steps into the room, a no-nonsense look on her face.

"Visiting hours are over," the nurse says, "but I just know one of you will refuse to leave. Pick who gets the visitor's chair."

There's an unspoken agreement in the air. Mucchan and Uribo quit the game in a hurry, pocketing handhelds as they stand up.

"Bye, guys. Thanks for the games, and hanging out here," Saiko says.

"Get better quickly," says Uribo, and she knows he means it, because there's no bitter muttering under his breath afterward.

"Um, I hope your arms regrow soon," says Mucchan, as awkward as ever, "bye!" he waves as he leaves.

"See ya!" calls Shiragin, waving back.

The nurse fixes them with a look before stepping out.

That leaves the two of them, and a strange kind of tension in the air.

Tension, silence, stretching thin.

It's hard to decode the expression on Shiragin's face at first, but he's looking at her with wide, wet eyes - he's never looked more like he's about to cry. She hasn't seen a look like this on him since... Since the Auction. Since Shiragin, standing over a bikini-clad body, blood staining glossy, latex-y thigh-high boots.

Shiragin breaks the tension, a long moment snapping like a too-tight thread.

"What the fuck, that was wild. You lost your arms but still made that guy run away. Sassan feeding you his blood like some kind of vampire dad, shit, nearly gave me a heart attack," the words tumble out of him, "holy fuck, we're alive."

"Yeah, we're alive," she says, and she can't help it, she can feel her face pulling up in a smile, wide and wild.

The knot in her chest finally dissolves properly, tension deflating.

She breathes in deep, drinking in Shiragin's scent - the salty tang of sweat, the musky smell of leather jacket, the faintly fireworks-like smell that's just Shiragin. Where he smelled like fear before, sharp and nerve-wracking, now she can smell his relief - soft and dry and almost-sweet, like the scent of a well-loved manga.

It's comforting, and warm, and... hot? Why is it hot?

She looks him in the eye and crosses a leg over to pat the bed beside her with her foot.

"C'mere, Shiragin."

He climbs up on the bed, slowly at first, and then quickly, desperately. He lays down beside her, reaching out, wrapping his arms around her, hands leaving trails of warmth through her thin hospital gown. He tucks his head into the curve between her neck and shoulder and inhales.

Inhales like a man who'd been drowning. Inhales like breathing clean air outside a bar, after hours of cigarette smoke, aftershave and bad breath. Inhales like a fire starved of oxygen.

She leans into him and breathes in, too – this close, she can smell not only salty, tangy sweat, his motorbike jacket, the gunpowder-ish scent of Shiragin – but also the low, dry scent that clings to all of Shiragin's clothes, a hint of lime shampoo, and something heady and a bit musky... oh. Heat ripples through her body, outward from between her legs.

It's confirmed by what presses against her thigh, hot even through his pants.

"You too?" she asks, low and husky next to his ear.

A/N: Did Saiko add that comment about snacking and gaming at the same time just to get a reaction out of Urie? Yes, yes she did, and Urie knows it.

[circular-bircular]

It drives me up a wall that ppl argue “anti endos are the only harassers!!!” And yet the past few days the sys course tag has been nothing but going against anti endos for? Some reason? Like just outta nowhere I started to see posts going on and on about how anti endos are sooo horrible and how dare they want anti endo only spaces like hello pot??

It’s just… infuriating to see it all bcs why the hell would anyone even consider looking at a different perspective if the first thing they see is people bashing anti endos (and often CDD systems in the same breath) and using that to uplift pro/endos like you can’t seriously claim to want anti endos to listen when everything is about insulting/shaming anti endos in a number of ways some less subtle than the last

I’m neutral on it all but if I was still anti today and thought “well maybe I should try to understand their side” and saw all that then?????? Hell no

Hell even being neutral I’m still not favorable to interactions bcs I don’t want that kinda energy in my space

Sry I’m just so GAH about it all and saw your post on syscourse stances and the harassment thing and was just “finally”

(Ough I’m so sorry I’m rambling hard on this one)

I fully agree that anti-endos aren’t the only harassers. But I also agree that endogenic systems are going through a lot right now. It’s easy for me to not see, but that’s because I’ve got a lot of folks blocked. There really are a lot of anti-endo assholes popping up each day lately, and I’m sorry for all the Endogenic systems dealing with that hatred. I’ve been there. It fucking sucks. I also am sorry for the CDD systems suffering through hatred currently, regardless of syscourse stance. It’s all hellish sometimes.

In my eyes, the way a lot of pro-endos tackle things isn’t beneficial. It’s either bait to encourage anti-endos to rage (which is often triggering to boot), or it’s just vocalizing hatred into a public space. Neither of these things are needed, especially if the goal is to make it so that anti-endos “aren’t a thing anymore.” Anti-endos fall into this same trap; many are trying to protect their disorders, but they do so via harassment, mockery, or similarly vocalized hatred. All in some attempt to “make things better for ‘real’ systems.”

It feels like many people in syscourse are doing something I like to call Aimless Activism. They know something is wrong (fakeclaiming, bad sources, ableism, etc), so they rally against it loudly and boldly, because That’s The Point. You’re Supposed To.

I’m guilty of this myself honestly. But… you need a goal. You need to have a point beyond This Is Activism, because if you don’t have an actionable goal, then you’re not actually working toward anything. You’re just shouting.

My goal on my blog is to share my personal experiences and talk about things that interest me. That’s it. I’ve tried to be an Aimless Activist for awhile now, convincing myself that it’s activism to argue online. And I don’t know, maybe to some, my blog fits that description. But at this point, I don’t… think it matters. I’m tired of playing in this giant sandbox where everyone is kicking the sand in each other’s faces while I try to build my sand castle.

I think a lot of other people are too. Has anyone else noticed how many new faces there are here? How a lot of the old faces have gone away? People are tired of the sandbox games where everyone kicks around sand. People want real things, real conversations, real connections — regardless of some stupid arbitrary label.

And that’s where it comes back to. “Stupid arbitrary label.” The ones who care about the labels are still playing in the sandbox and they’re gearing up for another round of fighting with “the other side.” Meanwhile, they don’t realize that the sandbox is only one tiny part of an enormous playground, and I’m over on the swings with friends I made in the sandbox, laughing about how nice it is to no longer have sand in my eyes.

I wish folks the best for getting out of there.

[postgamecontent]

Nintendo Switch Weekly Round-Up for the Week Ending September 28, 2024

Hello gentle readers, and welcome to the Nintendo Switch Weekly Round-Up for the week ending September 28, 2024. This has been a busy week for new releases, with a handful of obvious attention-grabbers and a lot of weird and interesting smaller games. I've included as many as I could fit, and I hope this helps you separate the cool junk from the boring junk. Let's check out this week in the world of Switch!

Select New Releases

The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom ($59.99)

A brand-new top-down Zelda game, this time featuring… Zelda?! Wow! Link has gone missing, and Princess Zelda is going to flex her magical power to save him and the rest of Hyrule. She has some help from a fairy named Tri and a magical artifact called the Tri Rod, the latter of which opens up all kinds of fun-looking mechanics. I might do a review of this one, in case anyone needs a review of something like this. You probably have already decided if you want it or not, though.

EA Sports FC 25 Standard Edition ($59.99)

It's the latest edition of EA Sports' long-running series of soccer/football games, and I'm not going to disrespect either of us by pretending I know what's new here or even what makes one of these good or bad. Consider this a notice that it is now available for general purchase on Switch, no more and no less.

Disney Epic Mickey: Rebrushed ($59.99)

Warren Spector's much-hyped Mickey game gets remade for the Nintendo Switch with this release. I haven't played the remake yet, but the original game was decent enough. If nothing else, this gives me the chance to remind everyone that Disney traded play-by-play commentator Al Michaels' contract to NBCUniversal to acquire Oswald the Lucky Rabbit for use in this game. And, you know, elsewhere. But the first use was in this game, and that's really funny to me. Anyway, try the demo and see how it sits with you.

Iron Meat ($19.99)

Hailed by folks with numerous conflicts of interest with the publisher as "better than Contra" and by others as "a pretty good run-and-gun", Iron Meat is another solid entry in a genre that has seen a decent amount of love in recent years on the platform. Is it better than Blazing Chrome? Better than Operation Galuga? Does it matter? If you enjoy games like these, stop comparing flavors and dig in! You never know when winter is coming for any given genre.

Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2 ($39.99)

Sure, why not more World Brothers? Look, this isn't the Earth Defense Force some people would ideally want to see on Switch, but this is what we've got. And it's fine for what it is. Very much in line with the first World Brothers in design and performance, so if you liked that game on Switch then you're all set here. Similarly, if you found the technical sacrifices were too much in the original game, you won't have a better time with this one.

Worms Armageddon: Anniversary Edition ($24.99)

Why would you buy Worms Armageddon for twenty-five buckeroos when you can get W.M.D. for six dollars during its very regular sales? The addition of the Game Boy Color version of the game probably won't be much of a pot sweetener for many, but this being a stealth Digital Eclipse Gold Master entry might. Yes, you get that timeline hotness! You don't even have to like the game, so long as you have an interest in gaming history. I can vouch for that, because I hate this game but I think this is a neat release that could have been even better as a full-blown Worms collection.

Cash Cow DX ($5.99)

Moo-ve over, Donut Dodo. There's a new retro-style arcade action game in town, and it's ready to milk you out of your six bucks. This game comes from the developer of Donut Dodo and has a lot of the same qualities to it. You're running around each stage trying to grab all the cash while avoiding enemies. Very enjoyable stuff. Feel free to have a look at the review I posted yesterday, if you haven't already seen it.

REYNATIS ($59.99)

Oh, it's FuRyu time again. I suspect we've got the usual FuRyu experience on our hands here. Which is to say, a rather middling game hobbled by its low budget with a few glimmers of greatness that might be enough to satisfy a few players. This one is an action-RPG, and the famous names that have been affixed to lure in the blissfully ignorant are scenario writer Kazushige Nojima (Zodiac: Orcanon Odyssey) and composer Yoko Shimomura (Code Name: Viper). This game is not very good at all. I might write up a review to explain why, if I have the time. No one brought their best here, but it's FuRyu, so what do you expect?

3 Minutes to Midnight ($24.99)

It's never encouraging when you see that registered trademark name on a title. It suggest a certain set of priorities that are sometimes at odds with a quality creative endeavor. Fortunately, this bucks that assumption by being a rather decent point-and-click adventure game. It's one aimed at the more hardcore fans of the genre, as it is quite lengthy and involved, but there's nothing wrong with that. If you're a fan of the genre, this is worth investigating.

Go Mecha Ball ($19.99)

Add another twin-stick roguelite to the pile. We've got tons of these, so what's this one's gimmick? Basically, you can ball up Samus Aran style and roll around at high speeds. You can get a bunch of weapons, abilities, and upgrades to help you on your way, which is more or less how these things go. There's something here, but I don't know that the spark of potential properly ignites. Not bad, but I wouldn't rush out and buy it or anything.

Exographer ($19.99)

An exploratory adventure that sees you on a rescue mission on an alien planet. You'll explore levels, investigate an extinct civilization, and earn new powers that will help you reach previous inaccessible areas. There are puzzles to solve, and you'll have to make use of your special camera to figure things out. This game is really pushing science as its selling point, so we'll have to see if that results in an enjoyable game or not.

Lets castle ($13.99)

I've retained the exact title from the eShop here, and believe me, I also find it a little irritating. This is a relatively low-pressure game where you have to build a castle from given parts. You'll occasionally get specific orders from the Queen and will need to build to her specifications. I like the pixel art, at least.

Ahro ($11.99)

Okay, get this. Ahro is a side-scroller with a simplified yet stylish look, and it's a metaphor for mental health issues. Anxiety and panic disorder, to be specific. The gameplay gimmick is that you can release your spirit to explore and collect goobers. I'm kind of tired of this kind of thing by now, but perhaps you're feeling more fresh about the idea.

Looney Tunes: Wacky World of Sports ($49.99)

Oh no, it's Game Mill. Don't expect too much. You get four sports here, including Basketball, Soccer, Golf, and Tennis. Up to four players can join in via local multiplayer, and there are nine playable Looney Tunes characters. I'm sure it's at least as competent as some of the sports games we see around the ten dollar price point on the eShop. If you really love the Looney Tunes, don't let me stop you.

Murder Is Game Over: Deal Killer ($4.99)

I guess these must be going well for Ratalaika. Another mystery for Detective Guy and his dog to solve, this time concerning the murder of an executive of a video game publisher. I choose not to read anything into that. You don't have to have played the previous games to enjoy this one, so feel free to jump in if you're interested.

Luna-3X ($9.99)

An off-beat game about a pair of heroes trying to save as many creatures as they can before the world ends in seven days. They do that, of course, by having one play the tamborine while dangling from a fishing rod held by the other. You can play alone, but this one is built for two players. One person controls the fishing rod while the other plays their instrument in rhythm to lure the creatures in. Charming and quite unique.

Arcade Archives Blast Off ($7.99)

You would think that a 1989 release from Namco in a well-worn genre that also serves as a follow-up of sorts, albeit in name only, to Bosconian would be a safe bet. Alas, Blast Off is a rather dull example of the vertical shoot 'em up genre. I'm not sure I'd recommend it to anyone except those are basically buying every Arcade Archives game or every shoot 'em up. A really rare total miss from this publisher, but history is history. Hamster isn't just in it to reissue the hits.

JALECOlle Famicom Ver. Bio Warrior DAN The Increaser War ($7.99)

The Earth is on the brink of total ruin, and only a time traveling bio warrior named Dan can save us! City Connection packed in a lot of extras for this one, including a new map screen, quick weapon switching, and a number of other UI improvements. The game is also fully translated into English, so that's nice. I'm really appreciating these releases so far.

Night Slashers: Remake ($9.99)

I like Night Slashers as much as the next Data East fan, but even I wouldn't have had it near the head of the list for a remake. Nevertheless, here we are. Night Slashers in a very clean, modern graphical style that is probably trying to evoke Streets of Rage 4 but not quite getting there. Still, the price is right and it's as gory and goofy a time as ever, now with support for four players. I gave my thoughts on this one yesterday in my review, so do check that out if you haven't already.

Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles ($24.99)

Hey, it's another one of these Slay The Spire/Darkest Dungeon deckbuilding turn-based roguelite things. As you can guess from the name, you'll be playing with dice in this one. It seems to have reviewed rather well on PC, and I imagine there are many Switch owners who will appreciate it as well.

The Holy Gosh Darn ($19.99)

A time traveling narrative action-adventure, with four different worlds to explore across space and time. You'll have to engage in some time shenanigans to solve the puzzles and move the story forward. I feel like this has some real potential, but I haven't had a chance to try out the demo for it yet. But hey, the demo is indeed right there. Give it a shot and see if you like it.

Bloomtown: A Different Story ($24.99)

This is a turn-based RPG with a 1960s Americana theme, and that's enough to help it stand out a little right off the hop. There's monster taming, some life sim bits, and a mystery involving two very different sides of one small town. Naturally, it's up to some kids to save the day. Early reviews on this have been positive, if not excessively so. If you're keen on the premise, you might want to look into it further.

Silver Axe - The Honest Elf ($18.99)

Another Metroidvania-style adventure for the pile. This one has a nice look to it and it's not outright terrible or anything, but in a genre this competitive I don't think it has what it takes to really stand out. It's just a bit too floaty, and the map designs don't have a nice flow to them. You might feel differently, though.

revive of the moon ($19.99)

I suppose it is almost October, isn't it? Here's a zombie action game supervised by Japanese comedian Hidetaka Kano. It's not the fanciest of dinners, but there is a certain charm to its straightforward approach. The writing is a little better than you would expect, too. I'm not very interested in zombie stuff anymore, but if I were? This might be something I'd go for.

Creepy Tale: Some Other Place ($9.99)

This little series has clearly found its audience. This is the fourth game in the series, and it tells its own little self-contained story within the fairy tale world and aesthetic that Creepy Tale is known for. Anyway, the usual business. Solve puzzles, follow the story, immerse yourself in the atmosphere. I've never been able to get into any of these, but I can at least see the appeal.

Beyond Galaxyland ($17.99)

A sci-fi RPG about a human high-schooler named Doug who, along with his guinea pig Boom Boom, narrowly escapes the destruction of Earth. Now residing in a zoo-like collection of planets called Galaxyland, Doug embarks on a quest to try to set things right. He'll meet an odd cast of characters along the way, of course. This game fits a lot of things in, including puzzles, platforming, turn-based battles, and a creature-capturing mechanic for good measure. So far reviews seem relatively good, and I'm looking forward to checking it out when I have a hot minute.

Resope! ($2.99)

It's always fun to find really low-priced games that serve as a good distraction for an evening, and Resope! is certainly one of those. There are sushi pieces trapped between wood blocks, and you need to free them. You do that by igniting the wood blocks, letting the sushi drop to the bottom. Make combos for a higher score, as one does in this kind of thing. There are a couple of extra modes here but the main one is fairly short, so be aware of that before you buy.

Anarkade ($14.99)

This genre of game feels like it has dropped off a high cliff in terms of popularity, but you still see the odd one release now and then. It's a 2D multiplayer arena shooter for up to four players, either local or online. Nothing particularly special about this one as far as I can tell, but it seems well-made for what it is.

Food Boy ($11.99)

It's like Paper Boy, except you're tossing pizzas at customers instead of newspapers. Run down any angry customers, and try to make a solid buck. Watch out for the many obstacles that will get in your way, of course. I'd rather have Paper Boy, but WB Games seems shy about sharing their old toys these days. That leaves an opportunity for games like this one, I suppose.

That's all for this week, friends. We'll be back next Saturday with another Round-Up as we make our way into October and the many games that will come with it. As ever, I will plug both my Patreon (where you can find lots of cool exclusive articles) and my Ko-Fi (tips help me run this blog). There, plugged. I hope you have a super Saturday, and as always, thanks for reading!

[tarotcard0]

I recently "acquired" Paper Mario Sticker Star. Here was my chance to see if it really was as bad as everyone said. I turned the game on, got into the tutorial battle, discovered that, yes, there were no "Normal" attacks, every move in your arsenal was treated like a "Special Move" with its own independent Vancian Magic-like charges. Upon beating the Tutorial Battle, I received almost (but not quite) enough coins to restock on the attacks I just used, and somehow, I gathered the resolve I needed to play through the first stage proper.

The first Miniboss fight against Bowser Jr gave me a Scissors item right before it, and, in an attempt to save it for something important, I wasted all of my best stickers to try and take out his 20 HP.

Guess how much damage you can do at this point in the game if you get perfect Action Commands... 19.

Every round, Bowser Jr would heal to full regardless of how much damage he took, then he'd attack anyway, so it was impossible for me to take him out with chip damage. With literally no options left, and with me almost dead, I used the Scissors item I had just received. It did exactly 20 damage, how convenient. And of course, I've now used the Scissors item, so it's just gone, and have no Idea how to get another one.

I have no Idea what lesson about its mechanics the game was trying to teach me, and I don't care. I could have continued playing at that point, but then I remembered a lesson a certain other Nintendo game taught me quite well:

If you aren't enjoying a game after the first hour, or even the first 5 hours if you really want to stretch it, STOP PLAYING.

It does not "get good later" and your opinion will be granted the same level of respect (none) from its fans regardless of whether you finished the game or not.

You don't have to finish something you started if you aren't enjoying it. And you don't have to "Prove" yourself to anyone.

If it sucks; hit da bricks.

[szallejhscorner]

King of Diamonds - Part IV

•♦•♦• When Chishiya Shuntarou accepted to remain in the Borderlands as a citizen, I knew there was nothing I could do but to accept as well. •♦•♦•

The tall woman dropped down on Chishiya’s bed since he occupied the only available chair in the room while I leant against the desk. She obviously knew more than I did, which would explain why she had known about the medical wing. “How?” I asked aloud, but it was Chishiya who answered.

“You’ve been a citizen already before the relaunch”, he stated. It wasn’t even a question and Rikki nodded, pretty much unimpressed by his observing skills.

She scratched her chin and turned around to the door for a second, where another patient was shuffling down the hallway. “This has been my third relaunch since choosing to stay here”, Rikki explained. “The days locked up in those rooms are boring, but you get used to it.”

So many questions roamed around in my head, and yet I held back because asking all of them would for sure make me look dumb. It was hard, but I tried to stay patient and wait for Chishiya to answer some of them. He hummed, thinking about what Rikki had just said.

“It makes sense. I don’t know how many players accepted the citizenship, but there have to be more than the number needed for the face cards.”

“You’re quite a clever one, aren’t you!” Rikki laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sure you already know that citizens aren’t forced to play games. We have no visa anymore and thus don’t rely on a game to stay alive. Basically, one could stay here for decades and die a natural death.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes, indicating that this wasn’t what she had in mind. “However, I haven’t met anyone so far who did that. Everyone wants to be part of the big games eventually.”

We weren’t forced to play. It would be possible for Chishiya and me to stay here for months, maybe even years, without endangering our lives. I assumed that this building would continue to provide food and everything, so it would even be a comfortable live, if I ignored all the dying people.

I knew though, that Chishiya would never do that. He didn’t decide to become a citizen just to relax and do nothing.

“What about you, then?” I asked Rikki, “do you plan to stay here forever?”

“Hell, no!” she snorted and leant back against the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest. It almost made her look innocent; not like someone who beat the game of the Borderlands. “Three rounds have been enough. It’s always the same, you know? People come here and are confused and scared. Some form a bigger alliance – the Beach, the Red Church… There’s one in every round. They beat the games until the second stage. Face games start. Sometimes the players win, sometimes they lose. If they win, it means new citizens for us. Yay. Anyway, the relaunch happens. Again. And again. And again, and again. It’s impressing the first time, maybe even the second time. But I’ve seen it all now. I want action!”

“Red Church? Sounds like a conspiracy, if you ask me.”

Rikki scoffed, probably thinking back to that round. “It was! They were even crazier than the people from the Beach. Praised the lasers as some kind of god, you know? Death brought by justice, bla bla bla… Justice won’t help you here if you’re too weak. It’s a game, after all.”

Chishiya had faced the window, seemingly lost in whatever he saw out there, but I knew he was listening. “God is a gambler”, he hummed, but didn’t explain his thoughts further. He didn’t believe in God, and before I could question what he was trying to tell us, he continued: “You’ll participate in the games this round, then.”

I noticed how he winced again and shifted just so slightly. The wounds had to cause him pain still, even though he’d never admit it. At least I was sure now that they’d be treated well enough for him to feel better soon.

“I’ll apply for becoming the Roamer, once all spot cards are collected”, Rikki stated with pride and excitement in her voice.

Bit by bit, I begun to realize that this world was much more complex than I had originally thought. It was not just about beating games. The people who arrived here could either be a player or a dealer, I knew that much from my time at the Beach and from the dealer’s base. Though we weren’t given a choice here; it was probably a random distribution. Since the players had won the first stage, all of the dealers had been killed. Thus I assumed that if all players had died during those first games, the dealers would have won and would have been given the choice to stay.

Now, all those survivors who decided to accept turned into citizens. Citizens didn’t have to play games, but since Mira and Kuzuryuu had attended some of them anyway, we were obviously allowed to. For fun, so we wouldn’t get bored until the second stage? Or as a cover so normal players wouldn’t see through us?

Once the face cards were up, citizens could try to beat the remaining players in much harder games. It was a free choice, though, and apparently we were even allowed to choose which card we wanted to be. “A roamer?” I muttered, and again it was Chishiya who put one and one together and answered my question.

Without turning his gaze from the window, he concluded: “Like the King of Spades.”

Following his gaze, I saw that the patio was filling with people now that the rooms weren’t locked anymore. Had the new games begun already? Had new players already appeared?

Rikki clapped her hands. “A clever one, indeed! Exactly, like the King of Spades. Only that I’ll be the Queen, of course.” She brushed back her hair, trying to make it look majestic, which didn’t quite work due to the shortness of her hair. “There always needs to be a roamer to spice things up a little, you know?”

Chishiya nodded, and I noticed that his smirk had returned. “Otherwise the players would just hide somewhere and wait for the others to clear all games, premised they have yet enough days on their visa.”

“Yes, yes, yes! This would be soo boring, wouldn’t it? But the roamer, they are a force of nature. A hurricane, even reaching the deepest of cellars and the darkest of rooms!” Rikki was almost screaming now, her voice full of excitement and her eyes glowing even wilder. “Shirabi did such a good job as the King! I mean, you have seen him. He was splendid!”

What she said made me swallow. The King of Spades had been a ruthless murderer. No other citizen had killed as many people as he did, and he had been heartless, fearless, absolutely horrific and frightening. He had been a hunter, able to track every single player through a device with an endless amount of ammunition. Splendid would have been the very last word coming to my mind when I thought about him.

And yet, the fact that Rikki knew him by name assumed that she had known him, which somehow made him human again. A monster, but still human. And it reminded me that he had also started as a normal player. He had defeated all the games, had chosen to stay here and then accepted to become the King of Spades. Now, with a new game starting, Rikki would take his place. She would hunt down players and slay dozens of them, until one of them would manage to kill her in return.

Why was I surprised? The mere fact that she sat here in front of me was enough proof that she wasn’t as innocent as I wanted her to be. Still… I had hoped for us to become friends. Could I be friends with someone who was willing to do such a terrible thing?

“You’ll be a mass murderer”, I whispered, unable to keep that thought unspoken.

Unimpressed by my reaction, Rikki sighed. “It’s a showoff of my abilities. If I’m stronger than the rest, they’ll die. If someone is stronger than me, I’ll die. It’s as simple as that. Always has been.”

Chishiya’s lips slightly parted, telling me that he had lost interest in our conversation and was now thinking about something else. Knowing him pretty well by now, I could guess what it was.

Being one of the smartest people in the Borderlands, it was obvious that the only type of game good enough for him would be Diamonds. He probably was reliving the Diamonds games he had won, especially how he had beaten Kuzuryuu. I hadn’t been there and didn’t know details about the game, but I tried to imagine how Chishiya would sit there, hovering above the other players as their enemy. With one of the players probably clever enough even to outsmart the cold-hearted blonde.

“What about you?” Rikki threw in when the silence grew too thick, and her head was slightly tilted when she watched me closely. “Clubs, maybe? I think a balanced game would suit you most. Something where you won’t have to dirty your hands with the blood of others, eh?” She stuck out her tongue, clearly having fun with this.

I couldn’t laugh about it, though. “To be honest… I don’t want to participate in a game at all. I… am not suited for a face card.”

“Aaanyway!” Stretching her upper body, Rikki eventually got up from the bed and pat my shoulder. The touch almost made me flinch, but I told myself to keep it together. Rikki was a monster no less and no more than the rest of us. She just did what this world wanted us to do, and it made her happy. Besides, she didn’t force me to do the same. People here were not only black and white, not solely good or bad. There were many things in between, and Rikki seemed to be funny and kind. If she didn’t talk about killing people with the same excitement as visiting a theme park.

“Time for me to catch up with friends. Watch some of the new players, and all that. See you around!” She said, and then she was gone, even having the decency to close the door behind her.

I let out a long sigh and wrapped my arms around Chishiya’s shoulders, in desperate need for something non-murderous now. Of course I tried to be careful so I wouldn’t hurt him, and Chishiya didn’t turn away.

“Three days, and you already befriended the Queen of Spades”, he muttered with both acknowledgement and mockery in his voice.

I huffed and buried my face deeper into his shoulder so he wouldn’t see my pout. “Shut up.”

There was so much to think about. All the information Rikki had given us, that I needed to process. Questions that had been left unanswered. Answers that had only led to more questions.

At least Chishiya was next to me, dwelling in his own thoughts, not even complaining as I fulfilled my need for some physical affection. The sky outside turned dark and windows lit up all around the patio. Soon enough, red lasers would emerge from the sky and kill those who didn’t renew their visa or lost a game.

I remembered the day I had arrived here, clueless about how the Borderlands worked. My first game had been easy enough and victory more luck than skill, but many others hadn’t been that lucky.

Rikki had answered many questions, but one huge information had never been given to me:

Why had we come here, in the first place? What was the Precondition to strand here? There seemed to be a never ending flow of new players, and yet not a single soul knew why. Or if someone knew, they hadn’t told me yet.  

[simowis]

Sth about Javik

*English is not my first language, I use DeePL to translate my words:

Listen to a few back and forth game videos of Javik's lines. Javik is a polite, introspective man who sees himself as a man of high standing but not arrogant and cocky. Apart from the shock at getting the beacon for this cycle, which he still wasn't ready for, and the video where he was beaten home by the reaper, Javik talks concisely, one sentence at a time, without being condescending, happy or angry; even the deterrent and warning tones are calm, but more excited when fighting. With the crew, Javik stood second fiddle to the leader without a second thought, such as when Mordin wanted to dissect him and he 'approved'-approved, as long as the premise could be beaten; such as the walking position with his hands behind his back. It took him a long time to accept the Norman crew, such as to the liara's willingness to address him by his first name until after the fall of Thursia. All except to the commander . He is so bland as to offer his own insights of blood and tears, lessons learned after hellish experiences, while at the same time cautioning the ramp to 'not trust others blindly'. I don't think I've ever heard him call the protagonist by his surname sherpard, always just commander commander, even when drunk with a trill. The gift of the Prothean makes lying to be pointless for them, I guess, and Javik is in this cycle, learning how to joke and lie. The part where he interacts with vega and vega says are you trying to make a joke, he literally makes up a joke and shows 'joking' through his actions. After that he learns to be ambiguous, in the poker passage in the DLC, he says wouldn't the guy who lost this cycle get the death penalty? In the silence of the others at the poker game he adds that you primitives really do believe in everything and lightens the mood. And yet the passage to the casino where if you take him he also says to the security guard that playing such risky games would have been a death sentence in his own time, so it's not a joke, he's just tempering the atmosphere to round off what he's saying as true. But again in the God's Keep DLC when he's sitting on the couch he'll say that liara believes electricity was invented by the Prothean Immortals and that she believes everything I say. It's clear that in this time period he has indeed learned to lie and troll, and enjoys the pleasure of keeping the opposite side guessing. But he is not used to lying yet, and when faced with the Commander he only tells the truth. When just awakened the commander shook Javik's hand while he turned his head and walked away on the passage. My understanding is that having the gift of sensing memories by touch and being in great shock, he should not want to immediately shake a hand to confuse himself even more. They Protheans shouldn't be in the habit of shaking hands equals making friends - they probably rely on their eyes and aren't sure what the gesture signifies, and to Javik this handshake from Shepard is another sign to 'come and deliver more contemporary information... ...' and he says: No, let's talk about it on board, I need to collect my thoughts'. ...... And gradually during his short life in Normandy he learned the meaning of a handshake, and if the protagonist hesitated and missed it when he offered his hand before the final battle, he would say flatly I see, and everyone avoided shaking hands with him. Just, don't do it... He was frozen in time at the end of the reaping of the lives of his entire race, and woke up just as the next cycle of life reaping was starting. He had a loyal and good crew like those in Normandy, only to be forced to slit their throats one by one after they had been indoctrinated, thanks to the strong life force of the Protheans, and had to watch them bleed dry before he could finish; in his cycle, the people had to bury the indoctrinated children quickly and indifferently; compassion only led to greater sacrifice; he learned this lesson and commanded Having learnt this lesson, he commands a refuge of 100,000 people, only to hear at the last moment in the stasis chamber that he is alone - and to wake up in despair at the end of a new cycle, where everything changes, but reapers still. He is in fact half-dead, despair already part of his body, while willed to remain the same, vengeance. He saw the naivety of the Normandy crew and said "standing on the bones of billions of corpses, does dignity still matter", which he did not envy. When he first joined the mission, he simply said that these horrific cases warned the protagonist and his teammates that there would be more hell to come, so be prepared for it. He is so cold-blooded that he habitually converts his friends into warriors and cannon fodder, he can no longer imagine mutual aid and unity between different races, and he is already aware of this, so the admonition 'don't trust others blindly' is directed at himself. When asked by passers-by what the future holds for him, he habitually spells out a desperate future, but at the slightest click of a sherpard, he immediately adjusts his speech to cheer them up, and is even open to taking a vid to inspire them in the DLC. This is all because of SHERPARD. meeting initially, he learns that it was SHERPARD who made the loop's reaping delayed, something his loop failed to do. The fire that had been rekindled in the deadly ashes of that despair burned brighter and brighter as a few smaller reapers fell. He touched traces of the cabin's past and in turn explored the whole ship; he stood by the EDI's kernel and confronted the AI; he got the Legion's drawings and a whole row of dismantling tools lay on the floor of the cabin; he discovered that there had once been a Normandy 1 and the fact that Commander SHERPARD had died once. He must have compared the similarities and differences between his ship, its crew, and himself and sherpard. They had both faced countless life-and-death situations, both died once, both faced the weight of despair directly. sherpard had half of Proxian's touch-sensitivity and never shied away from him, which is why he asked the question that he could only ask of a friend, or even a dear friend: whether he wanted to experience the past again. The best end for him would be to die on the final battlefield, in that portal to the Citadel; or to be in the position of Anderson, or to exhale his last breath under the red light. It's no wonder that there's a relative consensus in the homo sapiens about what happens to Javik after the war, when he's rescued and says "My own life means nothing, I...". Joining the clan can only be a sure thing in the future if he isn't given a purpose to survive. I just really don't want to see such a polite, introspective, subtle, determined, quietly burning soul of the last prothean just go back to his own clan after it has burned out. Whether it's writing a book, travelling, digging up all the Proxian people for a restoration, just stay alive! Even if he looks like a big cockroach. That's all I have to say for now.

[aquaburst3]

With the weird and confusing update of the game, I think it's time to bring up all of Yana's writing flaws. I can't comment on Black Butler. I haven't read it since I was a teenager, so commenting on that would be unfair. But for twst? I've also noticed that…

She has that same tendency to throw shit at the wall without thinking about how it affects the story she has set up.

It genuinely seems like she has no end goal in mind for TWST. (As a side note, I was talking with another friend who knows a lot more about Black Butler about this topic before. She said that it's the same for Black Butler as well. That's a big reason why she dropped the manga ages ago. With that manga going on forever and needing to end a long time ago, I believe her.)

The worldbuilding is sloppy and sticks far too close to real life. It also doesn't make any sense when you stop and think about it. (Which is a big reason why I came up with my own).

She frequently sets things up and forgets about them, dropping them completely. (Vil and Jack's friendship, Jamil bringing up that he has items to cure poison in Pomefiore, the fact that Vil has martial arts knowledge, etc.)

She sticks way too closely to the plot of the corresponding Disney movie, even when it doesn't fit HER own plot or characters. The most obvious example is during Book 2 Leona plans to take out Malleus with the stampede in order to possibly win the tournament. This plot point is ripped straight out of The Lion King where Scar does the same thing to Mufasa. But, that makes no sense when applied to TWST. Scar was able to do that in The Lion King, because they are just both normal lions. Whereas in TWST, Malleus is one of the most powerful mages in the world, who can just teleport away. The fact that Leona, who is really smart in the rest of the game, never ONCE considered this is mind-boggling. But yet she forced it in to be just like the movie. There are many other examples of this as well. (Jamil being after the dorm leader position, the beginning of Ignihyde where Idia kidnaps everyone, etc.)

She also loves turning her characters into idiots to force her plots to work. Like in Ignihyde, Idia kidnaps everyone in broad daylight. One, that's an awful bold and stupid move for one of the smartest characters in the game. He should know better. If he didn't have plot armour and his family's influence, he would've gotten arrested. Two, Vil is a trained martial artist and Jamil took out assassins. Why didn't they just kick their asses or kill them, even with their magic deflecting armour? The only reason I can think of is "the plot needed to happen, and this was the only way how". Again, there are other examples of this. (Leona and Ruggie during Book 2, Vil not undoing the aging spell himself when he's a potions master, etc.)

All of the characters are completely static. They don't change or grow like well rounded characters should. The overblot gang never face zero repercussions for their actions, thus making them never grow or learn anything. (You would think they'd want revenge, since they are twisted from Disney villains, especially in Ruggie's case, since Leona almost MURDERED his ass.) Unless you are writing a flat arc, characters MUST grow or change by the end. It can be for the better. It can be for the worst. But there MUST be some sort of change within the major character. Otherwise what the fuck is the point?

Malleus acts like a Deus-Ex Machina where he swoops in and saves the day, even at the expense of the other character's intelligence. (Endings of Books 5 and 6).

She's horrible at foreshadowing. Huge plot beats like what the deal is with Grim and Crowley are hardly alluded to and brought up far too late for them to be affective.

She picks favourites. She loves showering them with screen time while neglecting others.

The pacing issues. Just the pacing issues.

Over all, one of my friends told me her writing feels like a first draft. I a 1000% agree. Her works have a lot of good ideas. However, Yana REALLY must go back and finetune her works in order to make them up to snuff.

However, with all this said, these are all issues that I want to correct in my works. While I'm an amateur and not an amazing writer myself, I still want to try and do better.

[tirorah]

My picks from the June 2023 Next Fest

In June 2023 there was another Steam Next Fest, and I've finally managed to play all of the demos I'd selected.

Keep in mind that these are my highly personal picks; I mostly explored the turn-based RPG category, as I'm currently not feeling up to much direct action, brain-breaking strategy, etc. (And certain genres are so popular that some good demos will be reported on anyway.)

So, without further ado, here are the games that I liked this time around!

The setup for this one is quite straightforward: You play as one of three heroes-in-training and embark on an important quest through the fantasy land of Alteria. Pretty standard stuff, but it stands out in two ways:

Choosing your hero isn't a simple character swap; it's a perspective shift. These are branching storylines and each character has their own challenges to overcome. And because there are choices for you to make, it's interesting to see how you shape your chosen hero compared to the version you see when you're not in control of them.

This is also a very well-rounded experience. Gameplay is smooth and intuitive, presentation is great, etc. I especially liked how efficient the script is; dialogue makes sense and there are no long world-building monologues to be seen. I encountered some bugs, but those were symptoms of an early build and some of them have already been fixed.

Release date: In Early Access by now, 20% off until 12 July

Yes, this is a meme game, and sometimes you can really feel that, especially in the opening minutes. But this game has genuine charm to it. Sure, you die in one hit, but it's also a story about a wimp slowly learning to stand up for herself and work toward her dream. Crazy, but heartfelt at the same time.

As for gameplay: combat is turn-based and takes place on a grid, where each move expels one turn. The tactical challenge is to use positioning and your arsenal to bonk the enemy into submission before they can pulverise you. There's also an element of rhythm to it, as you need to time button presses to bonk your target more.

The beginning can be rough if you're not into the game's brand of insanity, but give it a shot anyway if you can. It was well worth it for me.

Release date: To be announced

A game about a time loop and the effect it has on a person. In a world that's frozen in time, it's up to Siffrin and their merry band of friends to defeat the King and save everyone. Easier said than done, though, and each failed attempt weighs on their spirit...

A really charming game, with clearly-defined characters, good group dynamics, and an arresting art style. The battle system is Active Time turn-based, but what's super fun is the damage types: Rock, Paper and Scissors. Yes, really. You need to analyse an enemy's appearances or their method of attack to figure out their weakness.

It also has a big focus on mental health though, so make sure to check the content warning section on the itch.io page before playing this.

Lastly, I should mention there's a prototype for the game, called Start Again: A Prologue. This is a somewhat short experience, basically a proof of concept that turned into a complete game. You can buy this if you're interested.

Release date: 2023

Do you like tabletop RPGs? Then this one could be for you! You take control of one of six groups of adventurers, each on a pilgrimage for their own reasons. It's up to you to guide them through a dangerous world...with your faithful dice!

I honestly needed more time with the story and characters to really get a feel for if I liked them or not, but the gameplay is, simply put, engrossing. Dice rolls play into every aspect of this game, from exploration to dialogue checks to combat. Playing this game truly feels like a journey full of potential secrets to uncover.

If you decide to try this game, be warned that this is still in development (like all of these demos). I found the UI rather rough to work with. This is being worked on and I'm confident there will be many improvements in this area.

Release date: Q4 2024

I was a few minutes into the demo when I entered my first battle. A big, red WARNING sign pulsed on my screen, and a giant robotic bee appeared out of a sci-fi hell portal. The protagonist hefted her gun, brandished her sword, and sprung into action as the battle theme started pounding in my ears. I grinned.

LunarLux is a prime example of how a strong visual and aural style can immediately capture one's attention. Fortunately, that's not all it has going for it. While the script isn't that tight and the characters seem rather standard for now, the gameplay is just a whole lot of fun.

Although this is a turn-based system, fighting involves timed blocking and grid-based dodging. And there's a factor of resource management as well; you'll need to work out how to go on the offensive without running out of MP and shield charges. This is not only essential to keep yourself alive, but also factors into your battle rating. Want an S-rank on this fight? Then don't get hit.

Oh, and you have a jetpack that you can fly around with. Just to let you know.

Release date: 2023

This one is an interesting recommend from me, as I found myself stymied by a progress-stopping bug 30 minutes into my playthrough. That's a pretty bad oversight, and yet I can't say it soured me on the game. All it did was cut me off, and that's a shame.

This one has no combat system; instead, the primary gameplay loop is about exploration. You can use your tracking skills to find animals in need and befriend them, and you can piece together clues to solve the secrets of the land.

The narrative has a rather standard mystery setup, but what makes it stand out is the setting: ancient India. This lends the game a completely different feel from a lot of other fantasy RPGs. The time period (and great soundtrack) gives everything a mystical feeling, while the location gives us oft-underutilised cultures to work with.

I want to see more of this.

Release date: 2023

Much like Luminera, I need more time with the story to see how it'll pan out; as it stands, the demo is a true vertical slice and just drops you into the middle of things while avoiding spoilers. The characters definitely have some personality to them though; I liked them.

I have no other criticisms; the game looks and sounds great, and because you can climb and swim around, there's more verticality in the environment design compared to most of the other games on this list.

Combat is smooth and fun; it's turn-based, with each of the three characters getting one action per turn, the order of which you can decide yourself. Each action you take also reduces the action counter for each enemy; deplete it to 0, and the enemy will attack. Sometimes they'll have a big attack charged up, and you'll need to hit them with certain damage types to either reduce the attack's power or cancel it entirely. You can also time your button presses for blocking enemy attacks and increasing the power of your own, but this isn't mandatory.

Finally, there are equippable relics that alter the game experience. The demo has two: one makes the game easier, and the other provides clearer feedback for timing button presses correctly. This kind of modular difficulty is great and more games need it. Especially if you consider how many of the games on this list feature timed button presses; great for interactivity, not so great for accessibility.

Release date: 29 August 2023

Last but certainly not least, it's...not a turn-based RPG at all. No, this is a visual novel. But it's a damn gripping one for me!

Your character is a newly-transferred security officer on a small ship: the JFS Gun-Dog. Your mission? Reconnaissance and backup. But of course, nothing is ever that simple; things are afoot. I don't know what things exactly, but I sure want to know! And your character's traumatic past won't make the challenges you face any easier.

There's a somewhat lengthy tour of the ship for character introduction and world-building purposes. Obviously, if you're playing a visual novel, you should expect copious amounts of words. It's just not the most elegant way to handle things. However, I believe the great atmosphere, interesting characters and narrative are worth it, and there were plenty of fun moments during that section.

Note: The Steam page refers to the main character as male, but you can choose your name and pronouns (he/him, she/her or they/them).

Release date: Coming soon

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That's it for this particular Next Fest! Please give these demos a try if possible.

And remember: If you like what you see, wishlist the game in question! This helps out indie developers a whole bunch.

[crystalelemental]

@canislupus-13

Apologies for the delay on this, I was busy claiming my (temporary) crown.  So, the tutorial fight in Victory Road against the Kanto Trio.  I’ve taken it on, and have some suggestions.

Step 0, before you go into the fight: use Tactics and adjust so they’re targeting Rosa first, Lillie second, MU last.

So, step 1 is legitimately the hardest part of this, because it’s about SPEED.  Specifically, your reaction time speed.  Can you get three actions up before Red uses his attack?  And the answer is...probably not.  It took me like three times to get it right.  You have to analyze where the moves will be on the layout, and what you’re aiming to click.  In this case, your options moves are Tyranitar Dire Hit+, Lillie X Sp Atk All, Rosa X Sp Def All.  If you get all three before Red gets his attack going, then congrats, that’s the ideal rotation.  Your three actions before the foe’s puts you at three rounds of everyone acting to get to first sync, and is considered ideal.  Missing one means the countdown takes an extra round, and therefore an extra enemy attack, before sync.

That said, I gave it another test where I only pushed Dire Hit+ on Tyranitar and nothing else.  It’s a little slower, but Rosa managed to stand until about the same time, so this is just me being anal about rotation structure.

From here, it’s a little easier.  Tyranitar wants to spam Ancientpower at Red, and use each sync until he drops.  By the time we get to the sides, Tyranitar will be able to 2HKO, so focus initial efforts on Red.  Rosa should buff speed after the special defense is done, and use Move Gauge Boost when you can’t queue up three actions in a round.  I used Tyranitar, Kommo-o, Hydreigon as the order, so that if there were no gauges left for Rosa to draw from, that was my indicator that we needed a Boost.  Lillie should never use X Atk All.  No one uses physical attacks.  After the buffing phase, spam Dragonbreath from the sides, fishing for a paralysis.  This can potentially stop an action outright.  It didn’t for me, but hey.  Worth a try.

Lillie’s Potion timing is another big one.  Basically, as soon as Rosa hits around the yellow, pop the Potion on her.  You want to be really proactive with the healing.  Because sync nukes are the biggest damage output, you want all three players to stay in the game as long as possible to help reduce countdown effectively.  I wound up using both Potion before Red’s first sync in the second run, and Rosa stayed standing until they had only Venusaur left.

Once Red is down, focus Thunderbolt on Blue’s Blastoise.  Leaf’s Venusaur will always take the next action after Red, so we’re going to learn about denials.  Thunderbolt and Hidden Power cannot OHKO either of the sides, but they do 2HKO as mentioned earlier.  By hitting Blue first, you weaken him enough that your next Thunderbolt will KO (if you get sync here, switch focus to Venusaur and throw out the sync with a support, then back to Blastoise with Tyranitar’s Thunderbolt; it’s unnecessary but I like getting fancy).  Blastoise may queue up an attack while you’re aiming at it.  This is the ideal scenario, because when Thunderbolt connects and KOs, you get enough time to select a new action, while your opponent’s attack doesn’t go through.  If you have your allies acting before you, let’s say Lillie Dragonbreath, Rosa Boost, then you KO?  You used three actions toward sync, and because the foe’s attack was cancelled and you queued another move before they change who’s moving, you get another -3 cooldown on sync.  This isn’t necessary in this fight, but I bring it up because after this, you’ll be on to Champion Stadium, and performing a denial is like the single most useful skill you can learn for clearing CS stages before you start EXing your strikers.  Practice with it can’t hurt.

So long as Red goes down shortly after his trainer move post-sync, and no one is dead, you’ve won.  With three actions ahead of Red’s first, you’ll beat him right after the trainer move.  Otherwise, you’ll take one hit.  So long as Rosa doesn’t drop there, you should be good to go.  Hopefully this helps, let me know if you’re still having trouble.

Oh, and you might not know, but you get a free scout for SS Red, SS Blue, or SS Leaf once you’ve won.  I’m going to legitimately argue for SS Leaf still, because Toxic stall rules early game before you have a bunch of EX, but Blue is also really tanky and not a bad pick.  He just has no healing and doesn’t buff offenses well and can’t cap crit until 2/5, so I feel like he’s kinda mid unless you candy him.  Red’s a little redundant with all the Fire-type damage dealers in the game, though.

[uniquejellyfishqueen]

my soul hurts and there are all these words needing out.

The memories won’t come all at once, and now that I realized the aura of a migraine is now connected with a memory surfacing I’m allowing all of that to happen naturally at my mind's own pace. For me they always strike the same place, my eyes. That’s sad in a beautiful way, the memories that I’m supposed to see hurt the things I need to see in the first place. Is this what they meant when they said “I was Blind but Now I See?” So far the memories that have surfaced are ones I had a sense of remembering but now I’m able to see in a more vivid light. These memories have both of my uncles in them. This also makes sense since we grew up in the same house. Ricky is older, he is also the one that has given me a lifelong skill of immediately becoming nauseated if i were to see a merry-go-round (still not sorry about your leather jacket, you asked for it.) He is also the one that took me ice skating for the first time, he was so mad that I threw a hissy fit because I refused to wear anything but my OGI bodysuit. Both of them are featured in the memory of sledding at the Beaver Dam (btw this was illegal right?) my tailbone recovered eventually because from what they said “she caught some air.” Matt was there when my mom ran off to Florida to get married, the day my kitty died, and he also taught me how to drive. The both of them also passed down the gift of music, they might not be labeled as musicians but that's another debate in itself. They know their shit on the topic and they passed it along to me. Mixed with my adhd my Spotify is like a kangaroo monkey all jacked up on MD.

Other memories unfortunately have had the pleasure of coming back on things I remember happening and honestly I wish I didn't. Cringe moments, and attacks are a freaking thing and they make you feel so gross and so unworthy that you just want to crawl into a hole and lay there until you die. Cringe moments, anxiety, depression, you know the list I’m talking about. Mental health comes in all shapes and sizes just like us little people on the game board, oops I mean our lovely Mother Earth. But just like the way we have resulted in treating each other we do the same thing with other people's mental health. But we also do it to our own feelings and mental health. We are our own biggest critic. I want to really emphasize that I know the words others have spoken to me are true, but they aren’t true for me at that moment. This sounds dumb but upon examination of myself in a better sober light I see that I have been spoiled in the fact that I expect to hear what I want, not what I need to hear from the other person. This results in me overreacting and being ignorant to people who “love” me. I can’t change things said in haste, I can’t erase things that should have never happened. But I can start to take ownership of things that I did have a hand in.

To the girls I was a cunt to from the ages of 12 to about 25 I’m sorry that I was insecure due to personal issues that I was unaware I was harboring. Not one rude thing I ever said should have been voiced. I’m sorry that I added to the slut shaming, its already a double standard so if you did get called a slut by me, Girl i hope you enjoyed the D! I'm all about female support now. Unless this were to be with someone my heart was connected to then I would be pretty mad.

To anyone that tried to help me along the way and I pushed you far enough that you walked away, I’m sorry that I couldn’t put in effort too.

There are many other apologies that I should make but there is the time where you put everyone else above yourself all the time and you stop and see that the people you have done that for wouldn’t do it for you. I can’t waste time anymore being sad and apologizing for the actions of other people when I know that deep in my heart I’m worth more than that. I do deserve better than that.