#it's like 4am and I can't sleep IDK WHY

[sunberry-strawflower]

HAPPY I LOVE YOU DAYYYY (I may be late but everyday is I love you day for me‼️)

Hold on idek if I can tag everyone uhhh wish me luck??? 😰 @rarestdogebutmemey @nonomikun @smoresthehalloweenqueen @mai-mai-lim @bluetorchsky @blankalisek @fearlesslybella @mercifulbutbroken @lionsong448 @capturecharlesau @androidcharles @jellyfish-fingernail @jaytoons7 and one of my old tumblr mutuals deleted their acc😭😭but I STILL TALK TO THEM ON DISCORD ILY TOO MWAH

CMERE!

@the-ethereal-grave-doctor @the-squishy-scrimblo @clownpallete @artismeyou-45 @autism-criminal @theindescribable1 @carol-the-clown @sillystanleystuff

[immortalsins]

i need to do something for my project to show my supervisor tomorrow and it has to look like two weeks worth of work from a capable and well-adjusted person who has potential to get a good grade in this tough degree that requires commitment and decent time management. skipped my lectures and also a pub quiz to do that but guess what i haven't even started

[circusinthewalls]

☆ Those Simpler Sonnets ☆

Miguel is deep in the throes of his bi-monthly rut. You've quelled his voracious need for the time being, but the poor man can hardly even sleep without you. That's why he's quick to find you now, early in the morning long before the sun has even breached the horizon as you get yourself a drink of water.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags: Porn With Plot, Just a little bit of plot, Like a tiny bit idk, Soft Miguel O'Hara, Feral Miguel O'Hara, Rut minus the ABO, Spider.. Instincts bullshit idk dude is just horny, AFAB Reader, My First Fanfic, god help, It's 4AM, Topping from the Bottom, Top Miguel O'Hara, One Shot, About as gender neutral as you can get with Spanish, Riding, Mutual Orgasm, Sorry if the Spanish isn't good I'm not a native speaker, Proship DNI, MDNI

a/n: This was uhh.. like not proofread at all? Also my first fic so bear with me. Tags and the fic itself are just pasted directly from ao3 because I have to be up before the sun tomorrow. Sorry for any grammar errors, but I hope you enjoy. o7 [ao3 link] [Masterlist]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miguel stirs in your shared bed, lazily outstretching an arm in search of your warmth. When it fails to be met with the familiar brush of your skin against his, worry sobers him, if only by a fraction. Upon cracking an eye open he realizes that you aren't in the room at all. What's more is that the door is cracked, distant light spilling in from elsewhere in the apartment. He doesn't bother to check the time, nor turn a single light on before sluggishly clambering out of bed and into the hallway. Not that he really needs to, of course. He can make out your scent growing headier with each step closer to the kitchen. 

You can hear him coming, or... sense it, rather. For a moment you pause in bringing the glass to your lips, offering a look back over your shoulder in his direction. To ensure he doesn't trip on the living room furniture, perhaps. It's not long after you cast your gaze forward again, sipping at the water in your hand, that you can feel his palms graze over your sides. They travel a languid path around to your stomach and soon settle down on your hips, pulling you back so his larger form can engulf your own. The movement makes you minutely aware of the soreness that's begun to emerge from your romping hours prior, but you pay it little mind.

Now that you're in his arms you can feel him soften significantly. You greet him with a small hum as you drink, and he gives a grunt in return. Having you near is enough to soothe his frayed nerves, evidently. He dips his head down and tucks his face into the crook of your neck, tiredly nosing along your jawline.

"Mi sol," he murmurs.

"Mm?"

"A kiss?"

A breathy chuckle slips out, but you oblige.

His lips don't stay on yours for long, though. Soon they're brushing back down your neck, just relishing the way you so graciously tilt your head off to the side. There's no stopping the groggy laugh that escapes when you can feel, no-- hear-- him sniffing you. He grumbles, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but he can't help it. You smell so damn good, so damn perfect. 

Frankly, you can't help yourself either. The sun isn't even up yet and you're so tired, the way he's got his face pressed in against your neck, nosing and huffing-- You know he's in rut, but it takes all your strength not to burst out laughing.

Well, despite your best efforts you break anyway. With your head tipping back, you barely manage to set your glass aside on the counter to avoid dropping it as you dissolve into a fit.

It's in this moment, though, that the more instinct-driven side of Miguel's mind sees an opportunity and doesn't hesitate to take it. He bites down firm into the side of your now bared throat, releasing a low groan when he feels your giggles stutter off into a whine. This isn't the first time he's bitten you, and it certainly won't be the last. Yet still, the immediate surrender that seems to always overtake you rekindles his desires in an instant. He's all but ready to tear his boxers off and have another go at you if you'll let him, but he forces himself to relent somewhat. You'd lovingly taken the brunt of his insatiable appetite earlier in the evening as it was. Drunk off your scent or not, he'd be a fool to be so rough again so soon. 

Bringing one of his hands up from your hip to instead support your head with, he pulls off your neck. Your blood on his lips has his own rushing southward, so naturally he laves his tongue over the wound for a better taste. Cleaning and savoring you in tandem. You shudder at the feeling, another noise bubbling up, but he's quick to soothe you by peppering kisses atop the divots his teeth left behind.

"Can I?" he pleads in a whisper.

He's given you the upper hand on purpose, so you decide to tease him. While you're still in a position to, that is.

"Can you what?"

He huffs. You can feel how painfully stiff his cock is. He knows you can. Just to be sure, and maybe to get back at you, he pulls you harder back against it anyway. You snigger, but he's not in the mood to play games. If you're going to let him have you then he wants you now, not in five minutes when you're done laughing your pretty ass off again.

"Please?" he grits, but you don't miss the way the word almost teeters on being a whimper.

"You're no fun, Migs," you reply, hints of a fake pout tugging at your lips. Then you give him a playful jab with your elbow and peck on the cheek. "Of course you can."

That's all he needs.

Immediately he scoops you up and strides forth into the living room. He sets you down so he can settle on the couch, but he's soon reaching out for you again, one hand guiding you to straddle him while the other wrangles his erection free from its fabric confines. As luck would have it your patience is waning too, so while you're moving to get on top of him you tug his boxers down past his hips and off entirely. You throw your shirt off as well, and seeing as it was the only clothing concealing your gorgeous form, a satisfied growl rumbles in his chest at the sight of you. It's about the only thing that even begins to temper his growing need, second to actually being inside you.

When you've finally got your thighs planted on either side of his waist he brings a hand up to steady you while the other helps align him with your entrance. Or tries to, at least. You move his hand away, gripping his cock and holding it still so you can rut against the crown for a second, letting his pre slick up your already glistening folds further. 

He has to sink his teeth into his bottom lip to stifle a groan. Fiery want is coiled so tightly in his gut that it's liable to snap if you keep this up, but he's trying his hardest not to rush you. The faint mewl you let out helps a little. God, he loves the way you sound.

Bringing his tip back to your hole again, you at last begin to sink down. His hips buck weakly, aching for more of you, but you don't allow him to properly move until he's bottomed out. Even with the dull ache from your first round, being split open by him is exquisite. You barely register the strangled moan he lets out once he's fully sheathed. Your thighs are trembling around him and you're far too focused on how full you are. You're not even sure if you can get yourself to move.

"Fuck, Miguel," you keen. "I-"

Without missing a beat he's shifting beneath you, taking hold of your hips and planting his feet apart so he can do all the work instead.

"I can do it, amor," he breathes. "Just let me, baby. Just let me."

"God-" You swallow down a whimper and nod. "Yes please."

So he starts a slow pace, beginning with gentle rolls of his hips while you adjust. When those familiar, delicate whines begin to sound he makes a point to go a little harder. Not faster, really, but there's undoubtedly more force behind each of his thrusts. His own sounds of pleasure escape with them, panted groans and even the occasional growl when his eyes flicker down to where your bodies meet, watching how well you take him.

"Look at you... Paraíso terrenal.."

He grinds up into you, and almost cums right then and there when he feels your insides flutter weakly in response. Beautiful.

"That's the spot, isn't it?" he growls. "Gonna cum for me already?"

You're far too caught up in how good everything feels to do anything but moan. That's fine, though. He can tell you're on the edge just as much as he is, and he'll be damned if he's not about to fuck you over it.

It doesn't take long, either. Minutes pass by like seconds, your orgasm creeping up faster than you'd expected. While your insides are spasming he's holding you down on him, hips stuttering as he spills himself as deep as you he can get, body curled up somewhat from the intensity of his own climax. You ride out your shared ecstasy before ultimately collapsing in a sweaty heap.

The both of you are a spent mess, but you're content. Miguel can't be bothered to pull out, but.. honestly?

You're not sure you care.

Sleeping on the couch would be a lot colder without his cock in you, anyway. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[eldritch-spouse]

Imagine being a government cyber security agent and you're investigating why the term “Clergy's Eye” seems to disappear from the web as soon as it appears. Your poking around ends up attracting the attention of Fank-e.

Oh he loves to fuck with you. Hardcore.

Fank-e likes the persistent ones, the ones who actually do know a thing or two about tech, about how to exploit search engines and look for patterns hidden in too many lines of code for your average Joe to care.

Fank-e has never been sloppy, ever, but he likes to leave a mention up just a little bit longer so that you can feel accomplished, feel like you discovered something, that you're getting closer to some sort of fantasy breadcrumb trail.

It's much like playing tug of war with a dog, you have to let them have their way once or twice, or the dog will get disappointed and bored. So Fank-e plays with you, one crumb there, one blurred image here. He sees the joy in your face through your webcam when he leaves those little presents.

Your room is a mess, your life is a mess, there are bags under your eyes and your skin has acquired a sickly sebum. It's clear this investigation of yours, fruitless from the start, has taken over your entire existence. You've stopped being a functional person even. Fank-e isn't the best human caretaker out there, but even he is starting to feel a bit remorseful for the state this little game has put you in. For tricking you into messaging him, into making it seem as if "Skiddled33znUts" is yet another researcher who has noticed "the Clergy patterns"- As opposed to your very rival, eliminating extra bits of potential evidence through your conversations.

Yes, it's quite sad he determines.

Which is why he figures you should get to see the results of your work. You should see The Clergy's Eye! He's going to take you there. Keep you. You're his favorite squishy so far. So fun to play with, so smart, he loves the way you type and the workarounds you find to his lovingly crafted digital barriers. Fank-e refuses to let this end.

It's about time he does something too, you're becoming frail, this game is becoming too taxing on your poor mind, and it shows in the way you reply to him, always so open. Like a book.

You: Idk, I feel like I'm running in circles at this point...

Skiddled33znUts: naaahhh d0n'7 b3 L1k3 d4t. 1 B3t W3'r3 cl053 70 F1Nd1n' 50M37H1N' 900d!!

You: I don't think so skiddle

You: I'm tired

You: I'm stuck

You: I need

You: idk anymore dude

Skiddled33znUts: h3y.

Skiddled33znUts: 17'5 L1k3 4Am.

Skiddled33znUts: U 5h0ULd G3T 50M3 5l33p.

You: I guess you're right

You: I'm being dumb

You: Goodnight

Skiddled33znUts: G3wdn1Ght! ;P

Yes.

Tomorrow.

Sleep tight, dummy. He can't wait.

[bendy113]

//TW: vent

ok somehow my dad caught me awake at night while i was trying to finish the jevilary stuff and bro just kept telling me some fkin morals or whatever to the point i started tearing up- and he did this again this afternoon-

he somehow said he'll cut off the internet for a whole month and forces me to do stuff i hate a lot if he sees me awake at night again-

...idk i'm like tearing up nonstop rn bc of it and now i lost motivation to draw- bc of this bitchass.

it's not like i'm "addicted" to the internet or whatever adults nowdays keep calling it, i'm attached to the people that i met from it, the content, all of this gives me comfort and happiness even tho my irl shi is so fucked up. (idk how to explain this im so sorry-)

besides it's not my fkin fault that timezones are different af like for example i have to stay awake at 4am to play pressure with my friend bc we can't do it earlier due to them being busy. or idk having vcs with my close friend- or finishing an art-

the fact that i'm not noisy at all idk why tf they even complain about me staying up at night, ik ik the night is for sleeping and resting but literally. i cannot fkin rest when SOMETHING IS NOT DONE or idk tbh-

(idk what words i'm using rn due to me being overwhelmed i am so sorry-)

idk anymore. i would've kms a long time ago if i wasn't a fkin muslim bc these types of shi makes me so overwhelmed to a point where i can't handle it but i always need to remind myself that i can't do so bc "god will send me to hell and oofing myself is for cowards."

[qiwoomi]

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ PREGNANCY CRAVINGS ˚｡⋆ ༘˚✧

featuring: husband! alhaitham x fem! reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, crack

warnings: not proofread, reader is pregnant, (mild) body insecurities

summary: as your husband, he will always fulfill your needs. that includes even if he had to get up at 4AM for some fried chicken at a local 24H KFC restaurant.

main masterlist

You have been tossing and turning in your shared bed for a while now, your husband next to you still asleep.

His arms are still wrapped around you, his hair messy yet he somehow managed to still look beautiful to you. How unfortunate, you can't admire him as long as you want when your stomach starts grumbling. Or is it the baby?

You glanced at the alarm clock beside you, which reads 4AM.

Maybe it's because of your hormone, but you started crying after a while, and Alhaitham is quick to your aid even though he's still half asleep. "Is anything wrong my love? Why are you crying?" You sniffled, feeling somewhat comforted before scooting closer to him as your husband welcomes you in his embrace, patting your back.

"I- I want fried chicken..." You pout, sniffling as you absentmindedly wipe your tears on his shirt.

At your request, your doting husband immediately gets up, wearing his grey cardigans before putting some warm clothing on you too. Wiping your teary eyes at the same time.

It is now 4:45AM. Both of you sitting on the dining table next to each other. Alhaitham somehow managed to fulfill your request, which explains the 3 boxes of fried chicken stacked on the mahogany table.

His eyes doze off from time to time as he fights from falling asleep. The contagious smile on your face is somehow worth to stay up for, not realising that he's smiling to himself seeing how content you are.

It is times like this where he wish that he can freeze the time. He's aware that it isn't that easy for you ever since you found out about your pregnancy.

It's as if he's falling in love with you deeper each day, each moment you spend together. You were glowing, brightening up his day ever since you both vowed to grow old together.

"Hubby, can you feed me?" You cut off his thoughts as he looks up to you smiling, before picking up the spoon to feed you. You hummed when the food finally goes into your mouth, feeling giddy and happy.

It is a sight that Alhaitham loves to see.

"I feel like I'm getting fat." You complained again as you finished the food for the night— dawn. He chuckles at how cute you look, reaching closer to pinch your cheeks.

"You are." He stated bluntly— maybe a bit too honest for someone with such hormones, "But I won't love you any less. If you feel like it we can exercise together. I'll guide you." Your husband reassured. Handing you a glass of water.

You somehow feel comforted to hear him mutter such words. He knows you too well. Alhaitham knew that if he were to sugar coat his words, he probably will end up with a sulky wife. "Come, let's go to bed." He offered his hand, helping you through the flight of stairs to your bedroom.

It took only a minute for you to fall asleep, sleepy from the many food that you consumed. Your husband tucked you in, scooting closer so he can spoon you. Not forgetting to give you a forehead kiss as he's slowly engulfed with sleep.

"I love you always."

author's note: this is kinda all over the place and kinda cringe idk I'm writing this when I'm sleepy

© @qiwoomi

est. 090323

do not copy, translate and repost my work.

[toomuchracket]

i’m such an angst girlie can we pls have some d word angst? x

maybe like in the early stages of their relationship before they r officially together and he kinda freaks out over being older than her and ends up upsetting her? not a problem if you’re not into writing like that x

yeah!! like as much as matty's a confident guy, the age thing is actually kinda a hindrance for him at the start - even though he likes you SO much and he knows you like him too and you're both adults and whatnot, he doesn't want to hold you back at all in any aspect of life. he freaks out when he sees a pic of you and some of your friends on a night out, not because he's jealous, but because you look so carefree and happy and just like you've got your whole life ahead of you (not that he can't relate to any of that. he's just high and hitting a para ok) and that he's going to put a damper on that by being older and maybe a little less energetic and more likely to settle down than go crazy in a club until 4am (like i said, he's high and in his feels). the next day, even sober, matty can't really shake the feeling that he's too old to make you truly happy, and i think he panic ghosts you a lil - you text him like "hi, are you busy? i was gonna call for a catch-up but idk what you're up to today and i don't wanna bother you. no worries if not, just lmk pls. maybe we can arrange going for coffee tomorrow x" and he just opens it and ignores it, out of some fear that by replying he'll lead you on. and he doesn't wanna end your little burgeoning romance over text, because he's not a dick, so the safest thing to do is just... ignore. idiot that he is, though, matty forgets to turn read receipts off, so you can see that he reads every follow-up text you send sparingly the rest of the day ("assuming ur probs busy. no worries! are you alright though? X"; "i've not done anything to upset you, have i? just that you keep opening my messages and pieing them x"; "i take it you can't/don't wanna talk today. i'll just leave you be, then. sorry for bothering you"). it makes him feel like shit, but he figures it's probably for the better. does he sleep at all that weekend? no he doesn't. and neither do you.

monday rolls around. matty gets to the office early in the hopes that he can catch you for a chat before you start work - it'll hurt, but it's best to get it out of the way. but you had the same idea; when he walks in, you're at your desk blinking sleep from your eyes, laptop open to your emails. you don't say anything but a curt "hi", which matty reciprocates softly, and the two of you sit in silence at your desks for a bit before you say "are you ok? found it a bit weird that you didn't reply to me the whole weekend. wondered if something was the matter with you". matty's like "yeah i'm fine. and i'm sorry for that. it's just... your pictures from your night out", and you're immediately on the defensive like "what? my pictures? why? were you pissed off at me going out, jealous? that's a bit shit" - matty's like "no, no, the opposite. i think it's good you went out, it just made me think of some things", and you look at him questioningly so he continues like "it just made me question if i'm good for you or not. like, you're young and cool and free and shit, and i'm kinda past that stage. and i don't think it's fair for me to hold you back from enjoying yourself and going out and pulling all-nighters, simply because i don't really wanna do stuff like that anymore". there's more silence for a minute, and then you speak up really quietly like "you're dumping me?", and matty's heart breaks, but he's like "i think it's for the best" - you're like "but i thought you liked me", and he's like "i do like you, darling, i really do. but i can't in good conscience limit you at all because of that, it's too selfish", and you get a bit angry like "no, matty, what's selfish is you not even bothering to ask me what i actually DO want instead of just assuming it. i don't give a FUCK about going out clubbing! i only went on friday to celebrate my friend's birthday, and quite frankly i'd have rather been in my flat having dinner with you like we did last week".

that's a total curveball for matty; he's like "you'd have rather... stayed in... on a friday night in london... with me?", and you're like "YES, you idiot, because YOU'RE what i want. i don't give a shit about the age gap - i like you, more than i've ever liked anyone else before, probably. and if i didn't or don't want to do anything you want to to, i'd tell you right away. but that hasn't happened yet, not once". matty's sitting there in total shock, just looking at you, so you keep talking like "look, if the age gap really is an issue for you, then i understand. but i really don't think i could go back to being just friends, matty, i really couldn't"; matty exhales and admits "neither could i", and your face just lights up like "really?", and he nods. and then matty stands up and walks over to you, then kneels in front of you so you're slightly above him and says "i'm so sorry for just assuming what you wanted instead of asking, sweetheart, i really am. can we have dinner together tonight as an apology, and we can just keep going as we were before i fucked up?" - you hug him like "we can have dinner, and we can try. but you better not do that to me again, healy, i swear to god. i might be a baby compared to you, but my communication skills have passed the gaga stage, trust me". you're laughing as you say the last bit, which makes matty feel a lot better; he rolls his eyes like "you're never going to let me live this down, are you? well, it's a good thing i still think you're the most attractive woman on the planet even when you're taking the piss out of me", and you're sarcastic like "god, stop flirting with me!", and matty's like "never. anyway, my place after work sound alright?". and you're like "sounds perfect. can you make that pasta we had a couple of weeks ago? it was amazing", and matty's like "whatever you want, darling, you'll get" <3

[paradisepoisoned]

I'm drunk, and work is consuming my life, so I give you the Death Note tattoo AU no one asked for.

-L was a world-famous tattoo artist, but no one really knows what he looks like except his clients and disgruntled employees, but his work is well recognized. Moved to New York to open his own tattoo shop but he's kinda a mystery in the industry and he's one of those owners that doesn't really show up to his own business anymore he rarely tattoos and when he does its only things he wants to do. Will fuck off to Cambodia for a month or something and then randomly show up to collect money and sleep there for a week.

 -L has only ever took two apprentices and they were Mello and Near. He took them on at the same time and it was a complete disaster. L refuses to take on an apprentice ever again

-Near specializes in sacred geometry, mandalas, and all that tedious crazy shit. Line work is impeccable. I feel like he'd be great at lettering and that fine line bullshit that everyone else hates. No one takes him seriously as an artist cause he looks like he's fucking twelve. He has amazing work but is absolutely horrible with clients due to his non existent social skills.

-Mello is the black and gray guy. He's one of those guys who just whips out a 23 mag and goes to town and bangs out a half sleeve in a few hours. I can see him doing crazy horror shit and those big crazy religious pieces like praying hands statues and all that good shit. He doesn't do color and doesn't like anything with a lot of linework. Looks scary but kinda a softie. 

-Near is great at linework. Mello is great at shading. They compete and fight on a regular basis. They have an ongoing silent war stealing each other's supplies,clients, etc. (They're secretly in love tho, deal with it)

-Matt definitely the anime bruh I could see him doing some super colorful new school anime type shit he's a street shop kinda guy at heart tho hell do the dirty jobs no one else wants to do and he's FAST he can bang out your little infinity symbol butterfly feather clusterfuck matching finger tattoo with your 13 friends no problem. He wears goggles while tattooinglmaoaoa idk why, but he also gives me big piercer energy, lol 

-I'm sorry but I can't leave out Linda. I feel like she's the color girl. Specializes in cover ups and botanical tattoos but shes well rounded and can take mostly anything that walks in. Probably the most organized artist out of all of them and keeps the shop from falling apart on a daily basis. I feel like L also trusts her to be the one to manage the shop while he's not there since the others are all completely unhinged, lol. Shop mom 100%

-Matt and Mello hit the bar at least once a week after work and talk shit till 4am 

-B Specializes in trash polka fucking fight me on it.

-B and L apprenticed together and were working together when L opened his own shop but B kinda went down a dark path and him and L drifted apart and now have beef so B is the artist no one talks about (except Mello cause I feel B woulda played a big part in his apprenticeship) 

-B also kinda legitimately tried to burn the whole shop down before he left soooooo...

-L has kept B's room open for years, hoping he gets his shit together one day and comes back. 

[v1ctor14aaa]

~ enha maknae line when u ignore them bcz they forgot ur bday ~

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

warning: way too long, cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of trauma, attempted murder

genre: fluff, slight comedy

pairings: enha x y/n (fem reader)

featuring: chaewon (lesserafim), wonyoung (ive)

a/n: here we go, idk if u were waiting for this but eh🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️. im sorry if they are too long, lol i was enjoying sm. i recently just opened my asks so if u have reqs or wants to be added to my taglist hmu! english is not my first language so im sorry for the error if therew is one. lmk if i should stop making plots in these kind of posts lol. ALSO IM SO SORRY THIS WAS POSTED LATE, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST A DAY AFTER THE HYUNG LINE BUT THEN I JUST SAW THIS IN MY DRAFTS...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tomorrow is a special day for you, it's the day you have been anticipating the most. you couldn't sleep the whole night because of the excitement for this day to come, your birthday. you weren't excited because it was your birthday, you were excited of what your boyfriend is planning for your day. however, when a day has passed and it's finally the day, you didn't expect your boyfriend to forget it.

kim sunoo (김선우)

it was night and you were already ready to sleep but when you went in the bedroom, you see your boyfriend smiling ear-to-ear looking at his phone.

"did something good happen??" you tried to peak at his phone but he immediately closed it and hugged you.

"YES but i can't tell you yet baby, it's going to be a surprise!! i will tell it to you tomorrow morning once you wake up."

there we go, what you wanted to hear before your bday starts. you thought that everything seems to be going fine and you were pretty much just glad your boyfriend didn't forget your bday. hearing sunoo, you were unable to sleep due to excitement to what could happen tomorrow in your bday. you've been thinking and wondering what could it be as you change positions on the bed non-stop. sunoo was still smiling and seeing you not being able to sleep he playfully rolled his eyes at you (still smiling), he knew you were excited but if he's going to be that honest he wasn't actually expecting you to be that excited. he saw you excited a lot of times and you weren't really acting the same but he shrugged it off and slept.

----- time skip -----

you woke up at 4am, you thought it was still night time so you checked the clock and saw the time. you couldn't believe you woke up at that time, oh wait let me repeat: you did believe you would wake up at that time because you're so excited and you couldn't wait for sunoo to surprise you. you tried going back to sleep but you just couldn't take your mind off about the "surprise", you were so curious, you were literally moving non-stop in the bed to the point you woke sunoo up.

"y/n, i know you're excited but please let me sleep. it's so early in the morning." he whined.

"can't you just do the surprise right here, i wouldn't be able to go back to sleep." you pouted.

sunoo who is half-asleep still managed to see you pout in the dark, he could never resist it so he sat up and said...

"I GOT TICKETS!"

"TICKETS TO WHAT OR WHERE?"

"ITALY, we're in first class too. oh, our flight is actually in 4 hours."

"WAIT WHAT?!"

hearing those last sentence made you panic, you ran to the cabinets and drawings to get packing. this whole thing wasn't supposed to be a surprise, sunoo just wanted to see how you would be if something like this happen. he likes to tease you every time but when you do it to him, you will regret your whole life.

midway packing, you were thinking how can sunoo possibly afford 2 first class tickets to italy so you decided to ask him.

"love, how did you afford the tickets?"

"it's not mine's but the company's."

"company? why would the company give you money to get tickets for something like this?"

"well obviously it's for work. i will model for milan fashion week this year, and i begged my manager to get you a ticket as well. isn't that great?" he smiled.

"oh." you were in utter shock finding out that it wasn't for your birthday but for his work, you thought it was sweet for him to beg his manager to get you a ticket as well but you were somehow disappointed. as you continued packing, a lot of thoughts are swarming in your mind. and, those thoughts just kept making you feel down. sunoo noticed how your mood suddenly changed, he thought that maybe you weren't happy due to the fact that you both are going to italy. he tried to ask you what was wrong but you were so down that you couldn't bother to reply so you gave him the silent treatment. sunoo doesn't like it when you ignore him. he would usually try to argue about it but seeing you down made him think if he did something wrong or what made you suddenly change your mood.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived in italy, you had to go out in different time because you were still trying to keep the relationship private since you both doesn't want issues to happen with your career. actually, everyone already knows sunoo is dating someone but they don't know that it's you. anyway, you went out of the airplane first without telling sunoo and that made him worried. he was looking you everywhere in the airplane plus he was a bit mad because you ignored him the whole flight. knowing him, he had a lot to share but you just weren't interested. sunoo's manager told him to go and leave now, he asked the flight attendants if there was any passenger left but there was none. the manager insisted to just call you and ask your whereabouts. sunoo gave in, and since he's a popular model a lot of paparazzi and fans that are waiting for him. no matter how many people were there he only focused on looking for you but there was just too many people that they had to leave immediately.

back to you, you are already in the hotel. already lying down the bed, watching the tv seeing sunoo just went out. when you saw sunoo on the tv, you had to turn it off. you were waiting for him to mention your bday the whole time but your expectations just got turned down, i guess. a few minutes later, sunoo arrived in the hotel. he was calling you non-stop and it looked like he was about to die when he couldn't see you anywhere. the manager volunteered himself to carry the luggages to his room so that sunoo can look for you. sunoo actually ran to his room but didn't see you there which made his heart drop, he was about to cry at this point.

he was about to go down using the elevator but then you went out of a room and he sees you, he ran to you and tried hugging you of course, but you immediately shut the door. he actually jumped when you closed the door because it was so loud, now he's just standing in front of the room, confused. he knocked and knocked but no answer. you feel bad for ignoring him but you just can't seem to talk to him at all. he was even shouting out of your room but his manager stopped him.

"sunoo, don't shout. the people might find out you are here."

"i dont care, i want to be with my girlfriend and talk to her."

"you should go to your room, i think shes just tired and went to sleep. you will be modeling tomorrow morning so you need to rest too."

sunoo was still being stubborn and tried to wait for you to come out but his manager managed to get him inside his room already.

----- time skip -----

it's the day for sunoo's modeling! normally, people would get nervous and excited for something like this but for sunoo, he wasn't even feeling anything at all except being worried. he's been thinking about last night. you were also unresponsive in the morning 'till now, hes at the site and getting ready while you went out to explore some shops. you tried to forget the fact sunoo just forgot about your bday which is why you went out to try and celebrate late. to your surprise while you were walking down the street, there was a huge crowd. well, guess who you saw

it was sunoo. for a second there, you forgot that you are supposed to be disappointed and mad at him but you got distracted by his handsomeness. like how can you get mad at this boy but you pulled yourself together and kept walking straight ahead but your dear boyfriend did not fail to notice you and shouted "y/n!". you were extremely terrified at that moment, you knew there were a lot of paparazzi and fans around and he just called you that. you were worried that someone might hurt you and suddenly will follow you around to ask questions about sunoo. thank gosh you were fast enough to think of a solution which is... to ignore him. everyone looked at your way but they didn't notice that it was you that sunoo was calling.

at this point, he got irritated of you. he didn't care about his career, he ran all the way to you and held your hand. you were shocked and before you even say anything, you both were already running. he dragged you to somewhere private.

he looked at you with an angry look and said "love, please talk to me. i miss you so much, it already has been 1 day since you ignored me. i want to know if i did or said something wrong. it hurts me that you don't even want to talk to me, i hate it when you do this."

"i...." you were to stunned to speak, this was the first time sunoo raised his voice to you. the first time you guys weren't in good terms or was it just you being so over dramatic that lead to this. you started crying, your back slowly slid the wall and sat. sunoo's heart dropped, he didn't want to make you cry. he didn't know what to do so he just hugged you "baby, no. im sorry, i didn't want to make you cry." you stopped crying and then you found this situation funny, you started laughing. dude, when i tell you, sunoo was so confused. he literally froze and started asking if this was a prank or some shit because it isn't funny.

"no, honey. i just find myself funny for crying for something like this..."

"you. you finally talked to me." he hugged you again but tightly this time as if you were going to disappear sooner or later. "now, tell me. why have you been acting that way all these time?"

you went silent again so sunoo sat beside you and changed the topic because he didn't want you to keep ignoring him, he already got your attention and he didn't want to risk it. you both had small talks and laughed at each other's jokes then you finally decided to tell him, you hesitated at first because it was embarrassing to say right now.

"sunoo, i..... i'm sorry for what i did yesterday and today. i wanted you to remember what was yesterday's occasion which is my bday but it seems like you forgot about it but still i shouldn't have acted that way and could've just mentioned it sooner. i was being stubborn, aren't?" you laughed and hid you face because you were so embarrassed. your face got red while you were talking. sunoo rolled his eyes and laughed at you "well, i'm sorry too for forgetting your bday which i can't believe that i did. anyway, my manager is probably looking for me now. love, is it alright if we celebrate your bday somewhere romantic later? im sorry that you didn't get to celebrate yesterday."

"yeah, you should probably go now. bye." sunoo stood and gave his hand to you. "answer my question, love. can we celebrate your lovely bday later?"

"ok. yes. yes, love." he felt relieved and smiled, he kissed you goodbye before running back to the site while you sat again and giggled like you just talked to your crush for the first time. you were wondering, however if what could've happened if you ran away from him earlier. i can answer to that, he would've probably argued with you.

yang jungwon (양정원)

you were so excited for tomorrow because it's your bday and especially because it's also your bf's day off. you can have all his attention to yourself for today not until he received a call.

"yoi, i received a call, i have this client who just hired me. heeseung was supposed to take the case alone but there was some problems that it needed about 2 people to take the case. unfortunately, there were no lawyers available for tomorrow so i had to take the job and help him." jungwon looked sad and so were you. you understood the situation immediately though, he's the best at his job.

the next day, you woke up first. you decided to cook breakfast for the both of you and wake up jungwon. "wonieee, wake up! you will be late for your job." you were about to leave the room but then he suddenly held you hand and pulled you onto the bed. he hugged you tightly and said "i don't want to get out of bed and leave you all alone here, i want to be with you for the whole day. wait, what about you? don't you have work as well?"

"oh uh, i took the day off today because i thought you'd also have your day off." he pouted and hugged you tightly.

"baby, please you're suffocating me. now, go and get out of bed. you'll be late."

----- time skip -----

soon, you got bored staying at your house. weirdly, your phone has been silent. it's a monday so everyone is obviously busy but your bday hasn't sent a happy bday message to you. he also didn't mention it earlier in the morning which made you think if he forgot about your bday now. you shook your head and thought it would be nice to visit him at the courtroom where his case would be held. you went in your car and went there.

when you arrived, there were only a few people there. you thought you arrived late but you asked and said that it'll start in a few minutes. shortly after, people have been entering the court room one-by-one and the judges also sat on their seats. you were looking for your boyfriend everywhere but looks like he still haven't arrived, you were about to sit but you bumped with someone.

"oh, sorry."

"wait, y/n??? baby, what are you doing here?"

"oh, hi! i was just bored at home so i decided to visit you here." you kissed him. he was about to talk but then his co-worker (atty. heeseung) said that they should go at their place now.

minutes later, the discussion started. you were sitting there not listening to what everyone's saying and you were just looking at him, adoring him. you forgot how handsome your boyfriend is. anyway, you realized that you completely forgot that it was your bday and you didn't want to celebrate it by sitting and listening to someone's case. you went to the mall to go buy some clothes and you were still hoping when will jungwon greet you a happy bday. you were already getting tired so you went straight home, you didn't even care id your bday remembers or not. you were simply tired already and wanted to sleep, and so you did.

----- time skip -----

as you were sleeping soundly, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. you opened your eyes slowly and saw your sister.

"oh gosh, you scared me. how did you get inside?"

"i have a spare key, remember?"

"oh, then what are you doing here? did something bad happened to you?"

"well...." she was looking down and she suddenly hugged you. "i'm sorry for busting out here, late at night but i really need your help." she looked at you, looking like she wanted to cry. you were alarmed at what she said so you asked "what kind of help?".

"m-my boyfriend has been abusing me and i escaped from him today. i can't do this anymore, i'm scared." hearing this made you so angry and just wanted to beat him up right there and then.

"chaewon, you should've told me sooner, i didn't even know you had a boyfriend but by any chance, did he follow you here?".

"no, he did text me though."

"i made his name in my contacts that in purpose because i was keeping our relationship a secret. i'm sorry, i should've told sooner." reading the texts made you scared as well but you were mad at him for beating your sister.

"chae, go stay here and lock the door, ill try and talk to your fucking boyfriend and beat him up if things go south, if ever that happens ill ask jungwon to be your lawyer and sue him."

"sis, wait, no. h-he doesn't know what you look like and you also don't know what he looks like either. i should come but ill just hide and call the police if something happens. i-ill text him so that he'll just come to us."

----- time skip -----

you arrived at the place. you didn't expect that the place would be a fancy restaurant, you thought that he must be rich. anyway, you found it weird that at a situation like this he would invite your sister to something this fancy. wouldn't people see if he beats up your sister or he's just that dumb, you thought.

"stay there at the bush and tell him you're here and make him go outside. i'll wait for him here"

you sat at a bench while waiting for him, there was not much people outside so it's easier to know if the person is your sister's boyfriend. you saw someone coming from the main door standing st the front, looks like he is looking for someone.

"SIS! THAT'S HIM!" your sister whispered.

if i'm going to be honest, you were actually scared for your dear life and you were unsure of what to do but as her sister you'll need to defend her and talk to her bf. you walked closer at him and said "are you my sister's boyfriend?" he looked at you with a confused look but soon realized that you came instead of your sister.

"follow me inside." and you did while your sister was still at the bush hiding.

your heartbeat went faster and you were somehow shaking. you kept holding back from punching him and stayed calm. as you walked further, the light went off. oh dear, that's when you lost it. you were so scared of what might happen to you there and scared that this might be your last day. then the lights opened again.

"HAPPY BDAY!!" you were so shocked that you fainted.

hours later, you finally woke up and you were already home. you actually thought it was just a dream but then a door opened, it was jungwon. he was so relieved seeing you finally awake.

"love, don't scare me like that. i thought we went far. i'm so sorry, i should've surprised you in a different way."

"no, don't scare me like that. i fucking thought i would die there, i can't believe these was all your plan." you put your hand to your chest and tried feeling your heartbeat. "my heart is still beating fast right now, i feel like i might've got a heart attack at that point."

jungwon suddenly ran out of the room and went back holding a cake. "you didn't get to blow the candles earlier, happy bday my love!"

"i actually thought you already forgot about my bday, thank you for remembering BUT please no more surprises like this. if you do this again next time, i think i might actually die already."

"don't say that but yes, i won't surprise you like that anymore." he laughed then suddenly stopped, as you both talked he remembers how you acted in the certain situation which made him worry and get concerned for you.

"y/n... if something like this ever happens, don't act rashly and call me immediately. love, i don't want you to get hurt..."

"okay okay, i know love. i still can't believe you asked chaewon for this evil plans of yours."

"yoi wait, did you really think i forgot your bday? were you waiting for me to greet you?" he smirked.

you looked at him shyly and guilty. "uh, noO."

"you know what? ill take my day off tomorrow and let's celebrate your day properly but first let's eat the cake!!"

so you may be confused but.....

jungwon is really not the type to forget your bday, he could never

which is why the storyline here is different

even if he did forget, he would've still remembered hours later because he always think of you<33333

welp, jungwon's might be the only one who has the shortest..... he remembered your bday so...q

if you guys want more with lawyer jungwon just hmu !!

nishimura riki, ni-ki (니키)

you were talking to your boyfriend over the phone and you were reminded that it's your bday tomorrow so you somehow waited for him to mention about it over the phone but to your surprise he didn't. ni-ki is someone who gets more excited in an event than the person who is hosting it or the person who's the event made for so it was really odd of him to not say anything about it.

the next day, you woke up with a messy hair and a drool on your mouth. you checked your clock and saw that you're about to be late for school so you hurriedly went to the bathroom and went downstairs to get your shoes.

"sweetie, you made him wait for an hour now. ALSO GO EAT."

you ran to the door and said "nah, i'm good mom. i think ni-ki's going to get me something later."

you thought that ni-ki is sitting on the bench but when you opened the door running, you accidentally bumped onto him.

"oops, sorry."

"and you're the one telling me to sleep early."

actually, your school is just near your home so everyday you and your boyfriend just go on foot. you guys were having a small talk then you realized that he hasn't greeted you a 'happy birthday' at all.

"so....."

"so...?" he raised his eyebrow at you. "so what?"

"oh, nothing. so um, have you finished your assignment?"

"since when do i even do that?" you laughed at him, knowing that he'll probably fail in your exam day which is next week.

----- time skip -----

you both arrived at the gate of your school and as you went in, you both parted ways. you two have a lot of similarities but when it comes to education, you both can't even be compared. however, you and your boyfriend are pretty popular. you're the valedictorian and he's just the hot guy everyone knew about.

as you went in your classroom, you sat and wondered what surprise is ni-ki's hiding. usually, ni-ki is bad at surprising because his acting is just terrible that it immediately gives it out but seeing him today made you think that he's finally good at this. you were thinking of him so much while looking outside the window that you didn't notice your teacher already standing behind you.

"ehem, miss y/n. is there something would you like to share with the class? i suppose not."

your seatmate, also your best friend giggled at you. "y/n, i know it's your bday but what made you think it would be a good idea to zone out when the teacher's here or.... you're thinking of that gigantic emo man again? i told you we should've became together instead lol."

"normally, i would've bickered with you for saying that but since you're the first to greet me then-" wonyoung gasped loudly while the teacher looks at the both of you but the teacher let you both go for now since you are the top of the class.

"don't tell me you both literally came here in school at the same time without him greeting you?! i knew you shouldn't have dated that man. it should've been me instead, like im even taller than him." she whispered, actually nevermind the whispered part because literally everyone heard wonyoung that time.

"wish i could say the same but anyway, im pretty sure he's going to surprise me sooner or later. you know him, he can't handle surprises and he's probably so excited right now telling his friends about it."

meanwhile ni-ki......

"hey bro, a dumbass in another class just told me i suit pink. i would literally look like shit if i do anything with pink, i just hate it."

"i think it would suit you fine, don't know." heeseung chuckled.

"shall we fight and see?"

yeah they started play fighting inside the classroom, just imagine that one time where ni-ki and heeseung was play punching each other while hee was holding a dumbbell.

back to you, you decided to visit ni-ki's classroom and maybe sneak up on him to see what is he up to. you looked through the classroom's windows and you saw that ni-ki was just playing and doing some random stuff in the classroom. finally, you thought that ni-ki forgot about your bday. it all makes sense, from him not mentioning about it and he looked like his usual self (like not being excited, etc.) to him just being normal in the classroom. you went back to your classroom and didn't pay attention much to that, hate to admit this but you were upset that your own boyfriend forgot about your bday.

----- time skip -----

the school bell finally rang for break time, everyone started to go to the cafeteria and eat. you also went with wonyoung while you guys were walking in the hallway, wony noticed that you seemed a bit down.

"hey, are you okay? you look like someone just threw up on you. okay kidding aside, are you okay?"

"yeah, i just feel tired right now thinking about studying advance for the exam next week."

"it's break time now so let's eat and stop thinking about your grades for now."

you guys were already in the line to get food and you sat down. ni-ki was waiting for you since forever and when he found you, he sat beside you in the cafeteria. wonyoung was also sitting beside you, at the left side.

"baby, i missed you." he was about to kiss you but you immediately put the spoon in your mouth since you aren't really in the mood for his lovey dovey. wonyoung side eyed you because what and ni-ki on the other side was shook.

"should i go to another table? it looks like there's something the both of you need to talk about." then she whispered to you saying "oh, i can tell he still didn't greet you huh?.." she elbowed you about two times and headed to the other tables with your classmates.

"so... jake and the others plan to go to the haunted house after school. wanna come?" you didn't respond, you were still thinking hard whether if he actually forgot about it or what. it wasn't a really big deal to you so you still somehow replied to him with a low tone "sure." ni-ki thought it was weird that you talked like that, he never even heard you that way. you both are always loud, to be honest.

----- time skip -----

classes ended and it is finally time to go home but you remembered you had plans to go to the haunted house so you looked for ni-ki, you were walking down the hallway where your boyfriend and the others at. there was a crowd, there was a lot of people but not that much. you also noticed your best friend there, you were about to call her but ni-ki noticed you walking in the hallway so he ran to you.

"hey, angel. are you ready to go to the haunted house??? don't worry i won't scare you like last time hehehehe" he laughed.

you didn't really want to ignore him but you were busy thinking if he did forgot about it or no, you were to busy thinking that you didn't hear your boyfriend that started talking to you.

"hello? babe? my girl to earth! hello! huh?" he waved his hands up and down in front of you thinking you were zoning out but no, you were still busy thinking. although, you did notice him waving had hands in front of you but you didn't care.

as you reached the crowd, they were talking about going to some restaurant after the haunted house and also heeseung will be the one to drive. wonyoung saw you and she just had to say something about "it".

"y/n, are you really sure of going to the haunted house? i don't want to see you suffer there."

"i'm fine. i forgot about what happened years ago, i mean i still remember but i don't care about it anymore."

"did you tell ni-ki about it? oh, definitely not because if you did i'm sure he wouldn't invite you to go to a haunted house."

"yeah, i think i'll just make him worry but he probably doesn't care as well. look wony, i can manage myself." you knew that was a lie, going back to the haunted house is a bad idea. a lot of tragic events has happened you in there which means if you go back it will probably trigger you trauma again. as ni-ki mentioned, you guys actually went to the haunted house one time. you didn't want to go but your boyfriend was with you so you thought your trauma won't get triggered. as you went in the haunted house, memories has been flashing in your mind. you couldn't breathe properly, ni-ki knew something was off but your acting with him was just so good even though you were shaking a bit. the memories of you getting almost killed by your aunt and uncle inside the haunted house, make you think that they're still there, in every haunted house ready to try and kill you again.

----- time skip -----

all of you finally arrived at the haunted house, everyone was getting ready to go in except you. wonyoung was looking at you the whole time, worried. while ni-ki tried to make a conversation with you in the car but you were busy thinking, not because if he forgot about your bday or not but because of the haunted house. you don't know what might happen to you this time, back then, you managed to act naturally with ni-ki but this time there's a lot of people.

"y/n, okay i'll be serious. why have you been ignoring me? did i-" before he could finish talking jake and the others were calling everyone in the car to go in the haunted house now. you just saw the building but all the memories are already flashing in to your mind. you don't even know if you can go inside because you felt dizzy and scared. you still tried to act natural because you didn't want anyone to think you're crazy at that moment. as you went in, you got dizzier and images of your past is all you can see. you were scared to death and hoping someone can just save you and go somewhere else. wonyoung looked at you with a worried look and held your hand in. "y/n, are you sure you're okay? i don't want to see you get hurt..." your boyfriend heard what she said and approached the two of you.

"why? did something bad happened?? don't ignore me, y/n, please.."

you whispered to wony "yes, i'm fine." you let go of her hand and turned your back. you were not fine. you were shaking terribly and wanted to cry at that point. everyone proceeded to explore and of course, your boyfriend went with you instead of the others, it was just the two of you. you were still shaking and you couldn't handle it anymore, so when ni-ki was busy picking up something, you decided to walk away from him and went in the nearest room. when you went in, that's when it got worsen. the room looked exactly like where you were when your uncle were hurting you. you went to one of the corners and sat, breathing rapidly and covering your ears because you were somehow hearing your aunt's voice whispering to you words. you cried and cried and couldn't handle it anymore, you didn't know what to do but luckily you went to the nearest room and ni-ki just found you in time. he didn't know what to do but he just ran over to you and tried to see what was happening. he was talking to you but you didn't answer. he was panicking so hard that he just hugged you that time, you needed it. for a few minutes, you calmed down while closing your eyes. still hugging him. ni-ki is still worried as fuck and you weren't responding to him. he held your hand and said that you both should go outside now, he didn't care if he's going to leave the others behind.

----- time skip -----

you still didn't talk but ni-ki took you at his home because you begged that you didn't want to go home and there wasn't any safer places for you to be comfortable so he took you to his home. he gave you a glass of water and hugged you again.

"i don't know why that happened but you can tell me whenever you're ready. im sorry i didn't know you were going through something but please i want to talk to you at least."

your mother called, you were supposed to not pick it up because you weren't really in the mood to talk but you still did and you put her on speaker.

"sweetie, do you ever plan to go home to celebrate your bday or are you going to celebrate it with ni-ki." and when your boyfriend heard that he stood up and was like HUH. while you were talking with your mother, he was walking back-and-forth not being able to believe himself for forgetting your bday and you were also going through something that he didn't know. you hang up on you mother and he was asking questions on where do you wanna go, you told him to the movies or in a restaurant. he literally brought a bag like he was taking care of a baby but yes it was full of things that you might need in case you went crying again.

----- time skip -----

you finally told him on what happened earlier, he was feeling sorry for you and was mad at your aunt and uncle.

"i can't believe i didn't notice that that was happening to you and i even forgot about your bday. im really the worst boyfriend ever.." he pouted and hugged you again.

"maybe but you aren't really the worst, if you were you wouldn't care about me at all." he hugged you tightly and you just found comfortable and safe around him, in fact you were luck that he was there earlier of he weren't you don't know what might've happened to you in there.

oh yeah, lol you both technically forgot about everyone. they were calling the both of you but didn't answer but seeing the car disappeared, they were pretty sure you went somewhere.

MASTERLIST | HYUNG LINE VER.

please do not copy/translate this and post as your own.

[ TAGLIST: --- ]

[frogofalltime]

day 8

today started off pretty good, i got up as soon as my alarm rang, had breakfast, got ready, took my meds etc

today my dosage was increased which is a bit scary but i can't say for certain if it's made anything better or worse

around midday i walked to the students union to meet my friends and on the way there i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left side underneath my ribs. i have had some pain there since the weekend, it was hurting when i coughed, but this new pain was constant and much worse. it made it hard to walk but i didn't have much further to go so it was okay

we held some beautiful creatures at the students union !!! i never imagined that i would one day have a skunk asleep curled up on my lap but here we are. i was so happy that i forgot about the pain for a while.

afterwards i walked home because we had an online statistics exam at 1pm. however the pain got worse and worse and it was really hard to keep walking. i felt like i was going to throw up.

when i got home i procrastinated for a while before finally starting the exam. i was in a lot of pain which made it really hard to focus. luckily i get extra time and rest breaks in exams, because of disability accommodations, so i was able to take breaks to move around, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, etc.

i finished the exam, it took me around 2 and a half hours. i think i did well but i am not sure because the pain was so bad and it was distracting me a lot. i didn't want to take painkillers because i'm already on two medications and i feel like i have enough weird stuff in my bloodstream

i was going to go to a local protest for palestine with @wiggles-mcgee but it hurt too much to move so i had to stay home, unfortunately. i felt quite upset about this and i felt like i was stuck.

my mother called me and i told her what happened and she says i probably pulled a muscle at the weekend from coughing too violently and then it was triggered today when i was walking ?? idk. she told me to rest as much as possible and not leave the house until it feels better.

after she put the phone down i procrastinated for a few hours because i was going to study and then cook dinner but i didn't have the energy to do either of those things (because i had socialised then sat an exam and then talked on the phone, all of which take a lot of energy from me)

then i got a message from @etherealspacejelly saying they were feeling really bad side effects of the meds and had to go to hospital. so of course that made me panic a lot, especially since i couldn't go with him because i live 10 minutes away and i literally can't walk

i had a pretty bad meltdown. it lasted quite a while. when that finally subsided i was feeling far too sick to cook or eat. and i was also still very worried and constantly checking my phone. i couldn't do anything else because of anxiety.

also i found out you're not supposed to take adhd medication if you're on antidepressants or have mental illnesses ?? but my doctor prescribed it to me anyway even though i have all those things ??

i talked to robin for a while and they realised that i hadn't eaten and encouraged me to get some food. so i had some soup and toast and nuts at around 2am. which is a weird time to eat a meal, i know, but it had been over 12 hours since lunch and i couldn't sleep anyway so it made sense

now i'm procrastinating washing my dishes. robin is finally home from the hospital after many hours. the doctor said it's okay and the meds should settle down in a few weeks ?? which kind of sucks because why would you have to keep taking medications that make you ill ?

i'm going to wash my dishes and then i think i will shower before i go to bed because i feel very weird and my head hurts and my eyes are all puffy so maybe it will help. it's literally 4am. yeehaw

honestly i was very unproductive today but that's because i went to meet the animals in the morning, had an exam in the afternoon and i was in so much pain, and then the hospital situation happened, so i definitely have an excuse. also i am worried about having a similar reaction to the medication as robin, because he is feeling very unwell from it, and i don't want that to happen to me as well :/

so yea stay tuned for more updates i really hope the pain in my left side goes away soon so i don't have to visit the hospital too

[newmayhem]

Timeline

So I was working on Part 2 of Roksana's wardrobe post and realized that in order to know how many outfits to plan out, I need to know the timeline of events for the scenes that happen in modern day (and, I mean, a timeline would generally be very helpful (shoutout @seedsofwinter !)). So here's what I sketched out. I based this on the canon sequence of events but stretched things out a little bit to account for travel time (now that it's not all happening in the same tristate area and Tristes can't teleport like vampires can). Also, why does so much of this book just consists of Risika falling asleep, having a flashback, waking up, doing ONE THING and then going back to sleep, lol?

Anyway, this isn't set in stone, I might update it as I continue working on the story.

BEFORE

Roksana returns to Puebla (let's say about a month out from the start of the book)

Ale arrives in Puebla (maybe a couple weeks after Roksana arrives)

NIGHT 1

(This actually happens the night before the start of the book, but we'll call it Night 1 because it's basically when the action starts)

Roksana trespasses on Andros’ territory while hunting and kills his servant (~12AM)

Andros is alerted to Roksana’s trespassing (~1AM)

NIGHT 2

Andros breaks into Roksana’s home and leaves a rose (~12AM)

Roksana returns home and discovers the rose (~4AM) (This is when the book begins)

NIGHT 3

Roksana doesn't hunt on Andros’ territory again, but she does leave a response to the rose (~12AM) (In the og text, she leaves the burnt florist card in a plastic bag at his cafe…which sounds silly, so I'll have to find something more dramatic for her to do here. Maybe she nails a viper to his door or something (because in ITFOTN, the viper is kind of a recurring motif that symbolizes Aubrey)

Andros discovers Roksana's response (~1AM)

(Ale tries searching for Roksana in CDMX)

NIGHT 4

Ale looks for Roksana at Andros’ cafe; Andros kicks him out (~1AM)

NIGHT 5

(Ale leaves Mexico and flies to São Paolo (idk, maybe the vampire that fed on him told him to look there). For the next few nights, he stakes out known vampire spots)

Roksana goes to Ambrosia and hears about the Triste in Andros’ cafe (~12AM)

Roksana confronts another of Andros’ servants outside her home (~4AM)

Roksana stops into a human cafe (~8AM)

NIGHT 6

Roksana deliberately hunts on Andros’ territory (~9PM)

Andros kills Tora (~9PM)

Roksana finds Tora dead (~10PM)

NIGHT 7

Roksana goes to Ambrosia and talks to Jager (~12AM)

NIGHT 8

Andros and Roksana talk in her room (~6PM)

Roksana fights Andros (~3AM)

[sweetdreamspootypie]

🙃

I'm flying out tomorrow

Had a good night tonight

But

Vent / processing / just capturing some of the stuff I've been thinking about

It's so strange how different my worldview is because I'm a Covid nurse

Or maybe everyone else is insane

Who is to say

TW car accident, child injury

Managed to go see the last set of cousins tonight

My aunt was like

" oh yeah last few days I've been really sick

Had a really bad flu

Still coughing actually

But we don't believe in taking to our beds for just a flu lol"

And my cousin mentioned she doesn't know when the last time she took a RAT test was. Didn't even recognize the name. Said "oh yeah that's kind of outdated"

And NOBODY I've talked to has even been aware that there are still Covid booster vaccines happening and relevant?

They only ever had the initial course of 3 or 4 and then stopped? Didn't even know that further boosters are a thing at all?

and cousin told me that you don't take time off work for Covid here because it's not considered life threatening anymore

What the fuck is wrong with england

Why would you invite guests over if you actively have the flu?

Fuck man

Like it was actually a pretty good evening and it will probably be fine

But it's just so weird seeing the increasing divide in basic values

Like yeah I value hard work and discipline and etc etc and I want to get better at it

But how do these people value self care so little?

Idk I'm just hyper aware of it as well bc of my family's thing with chronic fatigue syndrome and how precarious wellbeing is

But also stuff like

Hard work is "being responsible" because idk doing your part at work on the project or whatever

But in my line of work

If I don't rest

If I don't eat or take my breaks or I haven't been sleeping well or burn out

Then I cannot provide the healthcare to others that is needed

I've got such vivid visceral memories of standing there as I'm realizing I need to hit the medical emergency big red button, at times when I'm over tired and not feeling my best self

Feeling my words and thoughts running like treacle and just being so aware of oh shit I'm not actually up for being responsible for this right now actually

And when I'm in that state and the adrenaline hits, it just makes it worse

I can feel my heart pounding in my ears and my dehydration headache and having to muster ok I have to be reassuring and communicative and make sure I'm dexterous enough to manage a complex situation

And if I can't manage it, people get hurt

And there's a very real risk that someone gets closer to death than they needed to, or would have if I had been on the ball and my best self

The other day, on Monday

I had a coffee at 12 noon

It was a really nice rich mocha from a chocolate specialist

I'm not accustomed to caffeine any more these days, so I was awake until 4am Monday night

On Tuesday night, despite being tired, I was also awake til 3am because of the disturbance to my sleep schedule it caused

On Wednesday, I was feeling gross from the sleep disturbance. I went to my room and tried to take an afternoon nap

At 4pm on Wednesday, there was a car accident outside of our house. A car hit a 3 year old child crossing the road with his mother.

My dad came to get me because I'm a nurse and that's my job.

When he came in I was in a groggy half asleep haze

I had my shoes on and was out the door but was still carrying a head of groggy haze

The kid was fine

Someone else was checking him out, asking all the right questions

And within a couple of minutes an ambulance arrived, and got to do a further assessment

It looked like the child had a bit of a bumped knee, probably from where he fell, but was otherwise just fine

Mum with him was being a champion at visibly keeping it together until tonight after the kids are put to bed, when she'll fall apart

I was able to be there to see that it was under control and looked on until the ambulance arrived

But I was so aware that I wouldn't able to clearly speak. Wouldn't be able to project calming competence with even just the simple fact of introducing myself as a health worker available if needed

Everything was fine

But if it hadn't been

I would not have been able to fulfil my role

Because I hadn't taken proper care of myself

I'm going to remember my guilt over one badly planned coffee I had on Monday, for years

Because my job is to be the one who knows how to make it alright when everything is wrong

Why the fuck can't other people do the simple things like isolate if sick

And not expose illness to people going back to the home of their 89 year old grandmother

I don't want to live to work

I want to live well

And wellness and happiness are important values and resources

And not contradictory with working hard to make progress on goals

People need to learn to rest

I didn't realize how bad it was

[spidergwen-real-notclickbait]

hello gamers here is another one of my infamous rants you can all ignore but im saying this all to countless people on Tumblr coz none of you know me irl so its less embarrassing but like...

I know ive complained about this before but ive had some realisations but im literally 21 tomorrow (in a few hours) and it still really upsets me that ive never had a relationship but ive been thinking about it and it literally is all my fault like... I have such cripplingly low self esteem I physically cannot believe that someone would ever be into me and just for example, there was this guy I went on a date w from tinder like a year ago now and he was rly nice but I freaked out bc he wanted to sleep w me on the fist date and that terrified me coz it was the first date I went on since I was assaulted so I just ignored him after that... but he messaged me again a few months later wanting to meet up again and I was fucking stupid and cancelled last minute.. like sorry for the long story but just an example of how I freak the fuck out whenever someone shows any interest in me.. and also I found out a few days ago that he has a gf now and I just hate myself sm coz that couldve been me yk?? but its happened so many times where someone asks me out or shows interest and I just reject them.. and then I wonder why ive never been in a relationship like it literally is all my fault.. there was this girl I was sort of seeing for a bit but she just texted me one day and now she's dating her housemate and there was this guy a bit ago that I really fucking liked but he messaged me at fucking 4am one day saying 'sorry for leading u on but im not ready for a relationship' and like???? why were you on hinge then??? and why did you spend all night every night for god knows how long saying how u can't wait to see me again???? like I know a relationship isn't the point of life but when nearly all my friends are in v serious relationships, like moving in together and talking about family shit, I just rly feel like ive missed out and I just wanna know what it feels like to love someone and have my heartbroken and shit like that what every other person I know has and... idk sorry this is so long its just rly upsetting me but I dont have anyone else to talk to coz I dont know anyone else in this situation sorry guys

[hqbaby]

idk why but suna waking up at 4am to put on his shirt must be one of the hottest things ive ever imagined like imagine his HAIR OMG HE WOULD STILL LOOK SO GOOD WHEN SLEEP DEPRIVED 😩

i dont wanna believe you just yet that its suna bcs if you throw a curve ball i WILL cry. 🗿

no bc i see it 😭 we all need a shirtless suna in our life 😭 i swear every time i had to describe the boys looking rough and tired, i just could not seem to convince myself that they could ever look bad BC THEY CAN'T :")

also ik it's prob rly annoying to still be hearing this with 2 chaps left but... it's not over til it's over ;)

[ashnsweet]

pls omd I have just been watching you s4

I've already watched it yet for some reason I decide to binge it in one night 😭

God I keep sleeping at 4am idk what I'm gonna do w myself

Not to mention the weather I'm so coldd

But I've seen the fic

I read it

I'm convinced that the man we married w Carlos was charles or oscah cuz why else would he say "fuck ur hubby" U mean YOUR hubby

It's ok we can share idm as long as it's consensual between all parties I will match ur freaks dww

Max seeing us marry of all ppl HORNY?

THATS SOME EVIL ASS MANIFESTATION

KEEP IT BACK 🙅‍♀️

I was acc sleepy and now I'm not and idfk

I've never pulled an all nighter and I feel like it's my only hope but omd idk

I just can't w everything and I keep just procrastinating and I don't study I just can't ugh

Ok sorry loved the fic

Baiiii

-🌝

omg I love "you" sooo much, I've made everyone around me watch it lmfao + joe being a swiftie is so important to me

I've actually recently started arcane so🤭 lmk if you've watched it

I sleep around 5 to 6 am and this is my week of winter break 😔

HAHAH HELP NO SO THE JOKE WAS CARLOS DIDN'T SAY IT IN A SEXUAL MANNER BUT READER DID TAKE IT AS SUCH LMAO

in my head max said horner to shut the reader up it wasn't real

YOURE LUCK FOR NOT PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER YET KEEP IY THAT WAY

I know sounds like bs but reading an actual book with minimal light and having dinner a few hours before bed usually works for me to sleep early

don't be sorry baby😔

[weedstoner]

have been sleeping so poorly lately and idk why....I'll fall asleep pretty quickly around midnight and be set to get a good 7 or 8 hours but then I wake up at 4am like clockwork and can't go back to sleep. idk whatto do